#and they trust him to have reasonable reactions to utter ridiculousness

[cdyssey]

Thoughts on Abbott women and their relationships to the cameras:

AUSHSHS, OKAY. One of my favorite things to think about how is how the Abbott characters are super aware of the cameras and how they have different relationships to the fact that they’re being filmed all the time. Here are some thoughts/headcanons for women esp.

Janine: Janine is the most honest with the cameras, treating them like friends, and thus shares a lot of her life with them: her triumphs, her plans, her sadnesses, her insecurities. Hell, I think it’d be fair to say that she even overshares, allowing the cameras unfettered access into her home and car and life beyond the workday. I especially thought this during “Sick Day.” This poor girl was literally, like, letting herself be filmed running to her bathroom!!! Like, girl, set some boundaries. You have a right to some privacy!!!!! But, of course, this is the crux of Janine’s central character arc. So lonely, once a clearly neglected child, our protagonist has a hard time with boundaries in general, and that extends to how she interacts with the cameras. They have become her closest companions and her dearest diary, her safe place for unapologetically being herself. We’re always getting Janine unfiltered, and it’s an incredibly humbling experience for an attentive viewer. She’s fully let us into our lives, and we feel for her deeply. My God, we just want her to be happy.

Barbara: Of the cast, Barbara is one of the most vigilant of the fact that she is being constantly surveilled and has to perpetually maintain her perfect facade because of this crucial fact. It’s her almost doll-like smile into the camera when she says that she doesn’t have a weird thing about her. It’s how she’s always emphasizing how proper and moral and Christian she is in her talking heads. One of my favorite recent examples is from the tattoo episode when she initially says her favorite “b” word is Barbara, but then her first correction is to the more upstanding and characteristic answer of “Bible.” But, as some of my favorite Work Wives gifsets have shown, Barbara occasionally forgets that the cameras are there—usually when she’s drawn into the intimacies of a moment, allowing herself to feel her own emotions without disciplining or regulating them. And it has to be with someone she emphatically trusts, such as Melissa. But any slippages, which are few and far-between, are quickly and efficiently amended. She studiously remembers herself. She slips the mask back on and smiles directly at the cameras and dares them to question what they saw in the place. She is Barbara Howard, married woman of God. She’s always perfect, don’t you know?

Ava: OKAY, OKAY, so I genuinely think that out of everyone, Ava is the most aware of the cameras being on her at all times. TikTok queen and social media extraordinaire, how can she not be? Like Barbara, and honestly even more proficiently than our favorite repressed lesbian lady, she touts an expert facade to the cameras, hyping up her natural charisma and her extrovertism and coolness—sometimes to the point of excess. She’s always catering to a targeted audience. She knows her way around an algorithm, a trend, a hashtag, perpetually attuned to what the people like and want to consume. Of course, she, too, has her rare moments of vulnerability, but the cameras have to be super quick and sneaky to find them. Avanine enjoyers, I think one of my favorite shots is when the cameras initially locate Ava and Janine talking about Ava’s grandmother during the step episode. The framing is faraway at first because the cameras are at the distance—clearly intruding and zooming on this quiet moment—and that’s pretty much the only way they ever catch our Ava Coleman slipping. I am sooooo invested in the fact that we can probably count the times that we’ve seen Ava unmasked on one hand!!!!!!

Melissa: Melissa has a fascinatingly contradictory relationship with the cameras, perhaps to match the oxymoron between her own well-chosen facade and her personality. She presents herself as tough and unflappable, likes to maintain an air of “dark mystery” to others as she once famously smirked in a talking head, but simultaneously—behind Janine—she’s probably been the most candid of the cast with the cameras. She actually let them stay in her house! Oh, yes, she absolutely insults the cameras from time to time—clearly distrusts them, stops herself when she thinks she’s saying too much, fears that they’re snitches—but she’s also told them some pretty damn intimate things too, like showing them pictures of Kristen Marie and literally crying. I really love LAW’s headcanon that there’s one camera person that she thinks is cute and so confides in more because I think that tracks with our general conception of Mel as someone who only relaxes around people she trusts. Some cameras are cops to her—they invite suspicion and paranoia, alerting her fight-or-fight response. Others have seen her at more unguarded moments and teased a lovely softness out of her.

[stulili]

Only One Can Know

A Nightbringer story

Lucifer x GN!MC

Established relationship; SPOILER from Lesson 16 (OM!)

A/N: I’ve been playing with this idea for ages now, and it’s really piqued my interest: what if someone got to know the truth about the timeline? 

You’ve been in the past for a long time now, being the attendant of the brothers. You were working on getting home, you missed your timeline, however as long as you were here, you had to make the most out of the situation. In your timeline, Lucifer was your partner, husband or even more than that, so no wonder if it struck you when it turned out he doesn’t know you, and you had to start everything over again. However you never gave up, and now you’re lying on his bed, looking at your gallery on your phone while he’s working away the night like usual. You’ve had some advantage to have him wrapped around your finger again, since you knew him like the back of your hand after all that time. Yet it was still no easy task.

You looked at your folder where your favorite photos were, and found a good cookie recipe you really wanted to share with him. 

-Lucifer! - You called out for him, who lazily looked at you from the papers, eyes sparkling with innocence and fatigue. -Do you want me to make this snack for you?

He squinted his eyes, but unable to recognize whatever’s on your screen. You noticed it, jumping up, and bringing it to him. As he took the phone out of your hand like a grandpa, he tried to adjust the distance for his eyes, when he accidentally swiped from the picture. An unintentional squeak escaped you as both of you now were watching a selfie of a man’s upper body with the title: “Sleep well, [Y/N]” 

It was a surprise from Lucifer in your timeline, which always made your heart skip a beat whenever you saw this spicy picture of him. And this time wasn’t a difference, but now for different reasons. You looked at Lucifer’s face, fearing his reaction. He was staring at your phone, his eyebrows knitted in disbelief. Even though there were signs it was him, probably how much of a surprise it was for him and the rage didn’t really let him think too clearly. His eyes squinted, having second thoughts and your phone almost crashed in his grasp. He tried his best to stay calm and considerate.

-[Y/N].... Would you care to explain who this guy is on your phone, addressing this kind of message and image to you?

-Ah, well… This is awkward… How should I go about this? -You swallowed big, trying to gather your thoughts. You must not tell anyone the truth, lest it ruins the timeline. Besides, telling him the truth would put extra pressure on his shoulders. -There’s something even you don’t know, but you have to trust me.

Lucifer’s eyes were like spikes through your chest, eager for further explanation, yet getting even more impatient as you nervously play with your hands.

-Alright, I’ll come clean. It’s you.

-Don’t even try to feed that to me. I don’t recall anything like this ridiculous posing. Besides, I would never do something like this.

-Well, you had some Demonus in your blood at the moment, I won’t deny… 

-Then why don’t I have this on my D.D.D.? Or in our chat at all?

The utter fear and helplessness is easily readable from your face, which Lucifer immediately spots, further encouraging his doubts.

-Lucifer, I… -Possibilities and consequences cross your mind, your mind and breathing gets heavy. It feels terrible to keep such a huge secret, to lie to the one who’s your most beloved being (in all of creation-). You almost trembled, making the situation worse. -I don't know how to explain it… Why is it so difficult… 

You sniffed, but Lucifer didn't seem convinced. He looked at you dead serious, while you were panicking. He didn't trust you enough. But you did trust him. 

-I'm sorry… I should tell you the truth. -You took a deep breath and sat down at the bed. -I didn't want to put an extra burden on you. If someone, you know the best how it feels to keep a secret from the ones you love the most in order to keep them safe. 

Lucifer's eyes clearly widen, unable to recognise where you're coming from. 

-What are you talking about?... 

-I know about Lilith. I know more about you, than you know about yourself.

-How pitifully naive, how could you-

-You saved Lilith. You let her live. 

-Do not dare to divert the subject. You were in a coma and I trusted you. Looks like you've heard it. What about it?... 

-I did hear it. But I didn't know it because of that. Remember the Ring of Light? 

-How…? How do you know about that? 

He asks with wide eyes, and you slowly pull it out from your pocket. 

-You gave it to me. 

Lucifer couldn't believe his eyes, as he took the ring out of your hand. 

-What are you talking about?... This really is the Ring of light. But how did it end up in your possession? 

-It's a long and difficult story. But you have to trust me. - You gently cup his hand, looking into his eyes with a worried expression. He gulps, and slowly nods. 

-I don't understand what it does with this picture, but you better not fool me. 

-You will think I'm a clown at first, yes. Because even I and Solomon are not sure what is happening exactly. 

-Solomon? What does that witty sorcerer have to do with all this?... Is it him? Why does he send pictures like this to you? - He almost growls. 

-Ah! No, don't get me wrong! It really is you, I didn't lie. It was the only picture you sent me of yourself like this. I really treasure this photo. 

-... 

-Lucifer… It sounds dumb, but you're my husband. In my…. well, timeline. 

Lucifer casually lifted an eyebrow, not knowing what to think. 

-I love you, but we’ve barely known each other for a few months. 

-You… Yes. But I've known you for years. Because I was sent from the future. 

A painful sigh left him. 

-Why…? I know you lie terribly, but what was this one?

-How could I prove it to you?... -You gasped and grabbed your D.D.D. from his table. - This must be it! This picture was the only spicy one YOU sent me, but I have many other selfies with you… And pictures I secretly took. 

Wild tapping and swiping on your phone, while Lucifer watched you in disbelief. You finally found a cute selfie which was in the Human World, at your home. You showed the photo to him, who went completely pale. 

-What in the… What am I looking at? Who is this guy in the eyeglasses? 

-It's you!... This was the first time you visited me, and I showed you around. I have a much smaller home than you, so the neighbors could hear how rough you were. -You giggled, swiping further, showing more pictures of both of you. 

-This is so weird… I don't understand. 

-I'm sorry. Solomon asked me to keep this a secret, since who knows how it will affect the timeline. I'm well aware this is a burden for you to know… 

-[Y/N]. How could you keep this from me for this long?... It must have been a terrible experience for you. I'm… sorry. I understand your actions now. I still have doubts, but I don't know what could explain these things. But why? 

-... I have no idea what we're doing here. I wish I knew. Because I miss you. It was too tough to earn your trust, yet here I am doing it again. It's all worth it, because I love you more than anything else.

-But you're doing it well. So far there's no one I would trust more than you. - Lucifer got up and slowly walked beside you to sit down and put a hand on your shoulder. -Thank you for sharing this with me. Your secret will be kept safe with me… However…

-Nope, don't you dare have any questions about our future! - You blushed, trying to shush him, who just laughed. 

-Alright then. I won't pry. The only thing that matters, that we will meet again in the future, right? 

-You are correct. And I will live here with you guys in the House of Lamentation… But no further spoilers. -You winked and planted a kiss on his cheek. 

[oh-katsuki]

Cum. (Inumaki x Reader)

Masterlist

Pairing: Inumaki x Reader

Summary: Toge’s cursed technique is good for things other than fighting.

Content Warnings: Overstimulation, dub/noncon (curse use), consentual noncon (consentual use of his cursed technique), oral (female receiving), fingering, dacryphilia, dumbification

Word Count: 1.4k

A/N: heheeee my first new fic on this account, enjoy. tuna tuna or whatever. for those of you who were tagged wondering why you were tagged, I just took the taglist from my old account so hello!

thank you to @murmikaa​ for beta reading this for me! ilysm

Toge was not a man of many words, but when he did use them, when he did expend his cursed energy for reasons some would deem frivolous, it almost always resulted in you having a good time. 

He liked to respect your boundaries, so as the words “turn over” slipped from his lips, you recalled your safe word. You both needed it. Toge’s cursed technique could have you doing just about anything he wanted and he had insisted the first time you both tried this that there be a safe word, just in case. 

His palm moved up the back of your thigh, ghosting over your pussy and coming up to smack your ass lightly. He admired the way the skin bounced, the way the meat of your body seemed to sway forward and back with every little motion of his. 

“Toge,,,” You whined out, turning your head to face him, “Need more.” 

He lifted his eyes to yours, lips pulling upward into a teasing smile as he ran his fingers through your slick, earning a gasp from you. Toge lifted his fingers from you, watching the way strings of arousal stuck to them. He returned his gaze to you, flushed and on your hands and knees in front of him. He said nothing, but the smirk on his marked lips had you squeezing your thighs together as he lowered himself onto his knees behind you. His hands ran down the outside of your thighs as he positioned his face behind your soaking cunt. 

You pushed back against him, desperate to feel his mouth on you. He’d been teasing you for so long, his hands running over every dip on your body, fingers and tongue teasing your nipples until they were raw. Toge loved to take his time with you, it made using his cursed technique all the more fun, he thought you always looked so pretty begging for it, so no matter how badly he wanted to give in and make you feel good, he always found that the wait was worth it. 

Toge put one hand on either side of your ass, tutting slightly at how impatient you were being, a silent warning that if you didn’t behave, he would make you. His stare was so intent as he licked a long stripe up the back of you, starting just before your clit and licking all the way up and past the entrance to your cunt. Your head fell forward, thighs twitching and a breathy moan leaving your lips at the much needed stimulation. 

He smirked into you, tongue delicately pushing at the folds of your cunt, teasing your weeping hole with the tip before dipping down to circle your clit. Toge’s mouth was so experienced, the wet muscle dipping back and forth and giving attention everywhere he knew you liked it. He built you up so slowly, taking his time with savoring the taste of you and the way you struggled to keep your legs spread for him. 

His hands kneaded the soft flesh, manicured nails occasionally ghosting over you, sending chills down your spine as his tongue worked your pussy. He squeezed the soft flesh, spreading you open slightly so he could clean up every single drop of what you had to offer between your legs. The room was dominated by the gentle wet sounds from where his tongue met your body and you could hear each time he swiped it over your clit. You needed more though, and Toge knew that. Your hips started to circle slightly over his face, grinding your ass onto his open mouth, pressing your pussy against his tongue. 

He obliged, starting to lap at your folds faster as he dipped a finger, then two, into your weeping cunt, curling it forward to find that spongy spot inside of you. He loved the noises he pulled from you, whines so high pitched and sweet that it made his cock throb. Toge started to grind himself against the bed. He’s just so hard for you, so needy at how obedient you’re being, ass up in the air for him, cunt clenching around his fingers with each curl. 

Toge was so attentive, eyes trained up at where your shoulder blades dipped, watching the way you turned back to look at him. It was almost too much, the way he watched your reactions so attentively as he rutted himself into the bed. His fingers dug into the flesh of your ass, pulling you further onto him as his tongue swirled circles around your clit. Toge’s other hand was curling inside of you, towards your stomach, as if he was trying to bring you closer to him with each pull. 

You were so close, teetering on the edge as you babbled to him, nonsense falling from your lips. The coil in your stomach was turning over, pressure building as you ground down against his mouth. You let out a whine, your fingertips and toes growing warm with the weight of your impending orgasm before Toge is pulling his fingers and lips from you, standing tall. 

“Hn- fuck- why?” You whine out, toes curling in frustration as your orgasm is ripped from you. “Need it, Toge. Please, please.” 

He watched the way you squirmed, tears brimming in the corners of your eyes before his lips parted. The word tumbled so smoothly from his mouth, tattooed tongue peeking through slick coated lips. 

“Cum.” 

The word hit you so forcefully, curse seemingly moving through your body and rushing to your cunt which started to seize around nothing. You could feel the way the curse swam around your head, moving through your body in a single wave and sending you over the edge so suddenly.

Toge simply watched, head tilted and hand roaming the fat of your ass as you shook beneath him, legs trembling and elbows growing weak. He fisted himself in his hand, pulling up and down on his cock and spreading precum down from the tip. He loved that he could do this to you, hearing the way you practically screamed from the shock of it was worth any throat discomfort he had to endure. Just as the wave that ripped through your body began to ebb, Toge was back down between your legs, marked tongue sliding between your sensitive folds. 

He loved the way you tasted, cum spreading across his tongue with each fluid movement, but he didn’t like your squirming. It made it hard for him to get a proper taste, to really feel the way that smooth skin grows wetter with each flick of his tongue. 

“Don’t move.” He spoke into your cunt, words gripping your chest and making you seize up, put at his mercy. 

You’d heard him use the phrase before when exorcising curses, but having it used against you put a new type of feeling into you. Despite trusting Toge with your life, everytime he uttered those words to you in the bedroom had you on edge, heart threatening to beat out of your chest as you tried to balance this feeling filling your head and the way he assaulted your overstimulated cunt. 

All you could do was whine, a high pitched shout leaving your mouth as he tongue fucked you into another violent orgasm, this time without the use of his curse technique. You wanted to move away from him, kick him off to give you a moment to breathe but you couldn’t, instead only collapsing forward onto the mattress, ass stuck up in the air for him. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, stop. Stop.” You managed to choke out, voice growing in pitch as a low hum escaped him, sending vibrations through you. 

Your head was spinning, so consumed by the control he had over you, literally and figuratively. Toge made you dizzy, always had. 

By the time he came up to kiss you, finally satisfied, you were a babbling mess, unable to form coherent sentences. You were too weak to move. Not because of the curse, but because of the countless orgasms Toge had pulled from you with his tongue alone. 

He tasted like you when he kissed you so gently. He pulled you into his arms, fingers dancing across your skin to wipe the tears from below your cheeks. How could someone be so nice but so mean in bed? 

“I love you.” You exhaled, puffy eyes meeting his own, lashes wet with tears. 

“Salmon.” He affirmed, smiling gently at you. You buried your face in his chest, heat rising as a laugh bubbled up through your chest. You knew what he meant, but that doesn’t make it any less ridiculous.

tags: @namrekcaivel , @murmikaa , @keisukez , @veroyktv , @honeyzawa , @marviesss , @erenstellar , @female-titan , @kiyoobi , @pancakesv , @jean-prettyboy-kirschtein 

[bemylord]

hi! hello, i’m vivian and i was wondering if you could right some head cannons for toge, megumi, toji, and who ever else you want to add. maybe with the theme of them getting jealous or something of the sort? thank you for taking the time to read my request.

HOW WOULD THEY SHOW THEIR JEALOUSY

characters: yuuji, megumi, toji, toge, satoru, kento, sukuna. warnings: grammar issues + toji and sukuna. remark: ^_^ thank you so much for this request, I thought a lot about Toji: would he kill that guy right away, or would he spare him? About Sukuna, I was sure: certain execution.

ɪᴛᴀᴅᴏʀɪ ʏᴜᴜᴊɪ

First of all, Yuuji isn't the one who'd be stalking you and jealous over the compliment the random man had given you.

He knows you're his and the fact you won't cheat on your boyfriend.

If a boy doesn't figure out that you already have a boyfriend, Yuuji gives you a soft kiss on your cheek to show a guy who your boyfriend is.

Actually you've never given me a reason to be jealous, and would you do that?

But, I guess Itadori will try to have all your attention: if he saw you chatting with another guy, he'd be constantly trying to make you laugh or do something as ridiculous as possible.

"Baby, I bet I can eat this ice cream in five seconds." "Sweetie, let me ride you on my shoulders!"

If a boy still doesn't get the point - Yuuji would simple say that you're taken by him.

After that accident, Itadori's hands always is interwined with yours all the time when both of you are in the public.

When you noticed the gaze his giving other boys when you're wearing a dress, you gently cup his face with both of your palms, softly kissing his smooth lips. "I'm yours, Yuuji. Always be."

ꜰᴜꜱʜɪɢᴜʀᴏ ᴍᴇɢᴜᴍɪ

The first, he didn't realise it was jealousy: It pierced his chest as if it were a stap of a knife before his eyebrows curled up to the bridge of his nose.

He doesn't want the barista to be flirting with you: to be honest, he may not be the best at expressing his affections, but he understands that that guy is batting eyes at you.

He's not a yandere guy - as Yuuji does, he trusts you, yet he doesn't trust that guy.

He would show his jealousy by making too much hefty sighs and rolling his eyes.

When Megumi becomes sick and tired of how sugary he is with you, he'll drop the phrase: "Darling, can we go home? I would like to spend time only with you."

Maybe his father's genes, maybe he'll get bored with his chatter, he won't hesitate to make it clear what will happen if he doesn't leave.

It might sound ridiculous, buy I think Megumi is scared to lose you. He thinks his not worthy you, so you'd leave his side and he'll be alone. "Don't leave me, okay?" "Why would I?" "Just.. They ogle at you and were hitting with you. Just know that I love you, darling."

what a uwu bby pls

ɪɴᴜᴍᴀᴋɪ ᴛᴏɢᴇ

Silently observe and watch your reaction at first. He knows you are strong and can say no and walk away.

If he sees that you need help, he uses his technique to distract the guy.

Rather, the fact that the guy continues talking to you in spite of mentioning several times that you're in a relationship is what pisses him off the most.

Toge exhales into the collar of his cardigan and comes closer to you.

"Your boyfriend? I think brother, because I'm your soulmate." "Run away," he utters with cursed energy and the boy is gone. "Thank you, Toge." he points his fingers ok, intertwining your fingers.

ɢᴏᴊᴏᴜ ꜱᴀᴛᴏʀᴜ

He's cocky. The first thought when he noticed as some guy was making a small-sweet chat with you, he'd be curious.

And you know that Satoru is watching. So why not making him jealous?

"My number? Of course, write it down."

The cocky and arrogance feelings has flew away when he seriously started dictating your number.

That's when he knew you were serious: heat spread through your body when you said the second number and the third. He felt himself begin to lose you, and jealousy swept over him. "Hey, sweetie, I'm here, how long have you been waiting for me?" "Is he your boyfriend?" the stranger asked.

Deciding to give your lover more encouragement, you looked at Satoru with an indifferent look: he swallowed nervously when he didn't feel a welcoming kiss from you.

"He's my-" the awkward pause seemed like an eternity to Satoru. "Husband-to-be. He's also the strongest" you winked at the guy with a 'better run.' gesture.

You burst into a loud laugh as you looked at the blond man: your lips pouted and your words almost brought tears to your eyes.

"Husband-to-be?" "That's what I said for his boyfriend, don't worry."

He's definitely going to marry you.

ɴᴀɴᴀᴍɪ ᴋᴇɴᴛᴏ

I'm pretty sure Kento will say to you that he's not comfortable with your colleague hitting on you.

He won't procrastinate, politely telling your friend that you are in a relationship with him.

Nanami is annoyed by people who don't get it right the first time: your friend won't be happy to see what's hiding under his jacket.

Characterizing his jealousy is easier than Satoru's: while the last one behaves smugly, Kento prefers to make it clear that he shouldn't cross him.

Playing the silent game is not his strong suit. He wraps his arms around your waist and gives you a kiss on the head and with the words, "It's six o'clock, it's time to go home, honey." he directs you to the exit.

You and he don't like to be jealous of each other or give reasons to worry - most probably Kento will offer to discuss that you should call him out as soon as someone starts bothering you.

"You know the best thing is to let them know right away that you're busy." "Well..No..?" "The ring on your hand."

Another one who wants to marry you.

ꜰᴜꜱʜɪɢᴜʀᴏ ᴛᴏᴊɪ

Ok-ok, before we get started. Just one little thing. I don't think you'd like to see what will happen if you made him jealous, do you? I don't think that Toji allows you to leave the house without him. You're so pretty and charming so guys would break their necks to gaze at you.

Your light and casual smile him smile involuntarily.

However, he trusts you, for you are also an assassin. He is more likely to show his jealousy in the form of bites on his upper body. Expressing his jealousy in a few words is fear and agony of emotions.

One look full of murder is enough for a man to realize that it's time for him to run far away.

Deep down, somewhere at the bottom of his soul, Toji, like Megumi, is terrified of missing you and going insane for the rest of his life.

Greedily kissing you in front of a guy looking directly him in the eyes to make sure he knows who you're belonging to. Not ashamed to spank you. Yes.

Toji certainly is the type of man who'll show his property.

Part of my mind screams that he would say, "Is he hitting on you, honey?" if he's in a good mood, he'll give a warning and give him a predatory look.

The other part of my mind screams that he wouldn't hesitate to say, "Daddy's here, baby girl." I think the response is understandable - who wants to mess with a Toji like that?

By the way, before you get to Sukuna. Did you think it would be that easy to get rid of your boyfriend? No, not likely.

ꜱᴜᴋᴜɴᴀ

Another man. Geez. Ok, so. SO. If you're dating, [he doesn't call it relationship, only marking and calling you as his property] you won't leave his domain.

Sorry, but it is true. Why would you have to leave when you've got all you need? He praises you as a queen, as the future mother of his children - isn't that bliss?

Sukuna won't be acting as Yuuji or Megumi - if a boy dares to look at you, it is only a one solution - death. No one is worthy to look at you apart from the king

Call it preoccupation or overprotective - you are on his radar beyond the domain.

Even when Sukuna had been in Yuji's body, with a particular desire [i.e., when any guy talks to you] Sukuna can wield his body and show his place to the boy.

It's not jealousy - it's an obsession with you.

[atherix]

ITS TIME TO SCREAM AGAIN I AM CRACKING MY FINGERS I AM TYPING IN A WORD DOC LETS GO. @ your lovely readers I need you all to know I read this at 7 in the morning and it is the sole reason I even woke up bc atherix SENT ME A DM BEING LIKE ‘You’re welcome’ WITH NO CONTEXT BUT I KNEW! I KNEW!!!

God the combination of the current agitation with the previous peace is such a good parallel to how Past worked as a little buffer between the previous parts of Midnight and now, how things are starting to really ramp up rapidly. But also – who did take the picture? Gem? The Beans? Grian or Mumbo? So many options. Well I guess it cant be Grian or Mumbo since he’s actively wondering who took the photo unless Mumbo was hanging around during the staff carving without Grian which I doubt. And it’s such a small thing too and yet it feels so normal in the middle of this just utter chaos that is the three of them almost dying. [The four of them, I saw how Scar looked. Well. Read. Saw. You get me.]

AND THEN THE SPLIT SECOND WHERE GRIAN THINKS SCAR MIGHT FOLLOW THE WATCHERS? DIRECTLY FOLLOWING GRIAN LOOKING AT THESE PEACEFUL PHOTOS?????/ THE PARALLELS AT PLAY HERE FHSKJFLK And that split second of Grian being like “No no no nononono-“ god I’m so happy they’re gonna talk next chapter, it’s a very good thing Grian didn’t act on his immediate instinct to panic and instead actually used his brain for longer than a second, but oh my god. It is a good thing they’re going to talk. I need them to talk. I need Grian to s p i l l because to some extent he’s spilt sure, but scar and mumbo have said SO much more than he’s said even to just mumbo or you know. Us. The readers. And lkgshfd I need them to TALK about it oh my god and then also the way grian goes ‘it doesn’t matter I trust scar’ and puts it back sadklgsd esp coupled with how he and Scar argue later in the story I am screaming. Also this part – “because he’s not an Observant anymore, either. Maybe in more ways than one, he thinks.” YEAH, GRIAN. YEAH. A LITTLE BIT. ‘Godling’. Whatever.

The way he’s compelled to look at this thing though, at the last page? I am FROTHING at the mouth for watcher stuff oh my god. That whole passage hit me right in the religious trauma. I may have made notes. Ahem. “to Judge and Weigh the hearts of those who threaten thy Chosen” So I’m gonna scream about this until you tell us what the chosen is. BTW. “This is what it means to be a Watcher, and this Pantheon shall not entertain the Wretched Gods who turn their backs on these Tenets” Grian ‘I don’t remember this part in the book/I don’t remember the watchers acting according to their tenets’ BABY WHY DO YOU THINK YOU KILLED THEM. ALSO. TERRIFIED FOR THE MULTIPLE IMPLICATIONS IN THE TENETS FOR GRIAN. BTW. I SEE YOU. “Observe that which does not belong to thee” I SEE YOU  and the way it tells him to find his PEOPLE and it seems to be speaking directly TO HIM IM!!!!!!! The fact that he answers his own question in a sense because he makes sure to point out they’re his family. His people. His place.

ALSO THE FACT THAT THIS THE FIRST TIME GRIAN HAS FLOWN SINCE HE WAS CLIPPED AND ITS TO GO DO SOMETHING TO IRREVOCABLY STUPID THAT I WANT TO SHAKE HIM LIKE A BAG OF DRIED BEANS!!!! GRIAN!!!! I DON’T WANT YOU TO DIE BUT FRANKLY THIS IS DUMB ENOUGH THAT YOU DESERVED THE ABSOLUTE SCARE ON YOUR LIFE BLONDIE FUCKING GAVE YOU TO BE HONEST!!!!!!! Oh and I love that while he’s doing this ridiculously dumb thing he’s also being smart about how he gets into the house IM GONNA THROTTLE HIM!!!! FRANKLY SCAR MIGHT ALSO THROTTLE HIM BASED ON HIS REACTION LATER ON-

Speaking of Scar, the little signs that he’s been in the manor more and more, that he’s *theirs* and they are *his* is so asladksh I am in love. Especially considering this whole chaotic day started with them trying to get the sunroom together to surprise Scar. I am emotional about it. AND THEY WAY IT LENDS HIMSELF TO GRIAN REALLY LEANING INTO HIS POSSESSIVE STREAK, WHICH I GESTURE ABOVE BACK TO THE TENETS ABOUT, MIND YOU.

ASDGFSH; Grian. Sweetie. I am throttling you personally. ‘Coming here alone was stupid’ YEAH IT WAS, TURN AROUND AND GO BACK OUT THE WINDOW, BUT NOOOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOO WE GOTTA GO INTO THE KITCHEN AND FACE DOWN THE STARVING VAMPIRE WHO TOLD YOU YOU HAD GODLING BLOOD BC YOU WANT ANSWERS! Picture me absolutely shaking him. Speaking of the vampire, the way Blondie MANGLED their home as a reflection of how she mangled them too. Christ. She drives me insane in the worst way, that’s their HOME- [Mumbo get silver out of your HOME I AM ALSO THROTTLING HIM!!!!!]

This show down though is worth the absolute throttling I want to give Grian. The way he’s thinking about the blood she’s wasting of Mumbos, how he’s worried about his mates, their home, their son. Mm mm mm. Could he have done it better yes. 100% But the way Blondie wrecks him and threatens him and he doesn’t back down means so much to me. This bird drives me insane. And then also this little slip of this new instinct – the wrong wrong wrong [Between you and Mochi the way you have both utilized this is making me FROTH at the MOUTH I am an oversteamed LATTE SDKLGHSFD], the way he also tried to see Blondie without actually seeing her [im assuming that’s what the pressure in the back of his mind was] oh he is SO close to awakening you are going to drive me INSANE.

The way the scent of blood on Blondie makes Grian recoil because he’s seen her take it before without permission and knows that she is like, a nasty vampire, as opposed to Mumbo who has only ever taken blood he had permission for [And I assume isn’t so fucking MESSY] is such a great perpendicular image oh my god. Here are these two creatures who are the same creature and yet they are so different.

“But I will be” SENT SHIVERS DOWN MY SPINE! HE BOTH DOES AND DOES NOT KNOW WHAT HE’S SAYING. I WANT TO SHAKE HIM AGAIN!!!! “He doesn’t want to be a God. He just wants to be Grian.” Wheres that why not both gif. ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING THAT BLONDIE REVEALS THAT BC THERE’S ONLY ONE WAY GODLINGS ARE MADE GRIAN DID IT TO HIMSELF – SHE HAS NO IDEA [Or what little she does know I cant imagine it went that in depth] AND ITS DRIVING ME OVER A CLIFF!!!! OH MY GOD I cannot stress enough how happy I am that next ch they are TALKING bc yeah ‘I killed my gods mumbo’ happened but like I truly do not think that’s fully processed in the wet cat of a vampire.

And the fact that she got SO close to doing to Grian what she did to Scar but Mumbo is there to stop it this time makes me INSANE. Mumbo, who watched his wife die. Mumbo, who’s had Scar drank from, had Grian kidnapped because of his blood, had to deal with far too much of Blondie, showing up just a second before she really gets Grian proper. YEAH NO WONDER THE MAN IS LIVID, GRIAN I am shaking him again. Frankly. IT’S A GOOD THING MUMBO HAS BEEN PRACTICING HIS MAGIC. I MEAN. I KNOW HE PRACTICED IT BC HE KNEW HE NEEDED TO PROTECT HIS COVEN BUT HO BOY IT’S A GOOD THING HE PRACTICED HIS MAGIC.

What on earth is the book Tubbo is holding. I’m putting this here to hold on to this thought I’ll get back to this in a bit –

THE FACT THAT MUMBO FEELS GUILTY THAT HE DIDN’T WAKE UP TO HEAR GRIAN SLIPPING OUT TO DO HIS DUMBEST STUNT – YEAH. YEAH. GRIAN DESERVES THE GUILT EATING HIM UP A BIT FOR THIS ONE TBH. Like not to the point of self-deprecative destruction but just a little guilt eating. As a treat.

Sidenote I just got an idea for a monster that eats emotions

AND THEN! THE MOMENT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR! I feel like everyone needs to know that I have been referring to Blondie holding onto Tubbo as a meat shield and a beverage as ‘Capri Sunning’ him. AND IT WAS EVERYTHING. The way she teleports to a bunch of different places to disorient them. The way they have to VERY QUICKLY face the fact that yep. Yep. They see Tubbo as their son. He’s the coven child and she’s GOT him. SDLKFHWG. Very proud of both of them for realizing she was absolutely lying to them about exchanging Tubbo for anybody. Why give up her meat shield. Look at them using their brain cells. And then they immediately stop using their brain cells to dart after a woman who can teleport. I get it. Tubbo is in danger and distress. BUT ITS LIKE THE BRAINCELLS JUST FLEW OUT W THE SCREAMING. Which is what I deserve to be honest. ‘Looks too much like she took a literal bite out of him’ alskdgfdh

AND THEN SCAR, HAVING CLEARLY BEEN THROUGH SOME SHIT OF HIS OWN, READY TO TAKE ON SOME MORE SHIT BECAUSE THAT’S HIS SON. HIS CLAIM. GOD. YES. And the fact that she could have so easily just left with Tubbo or snapped his neck or twisted his head off or dropped him from the third story is not lost on me. Im sure that gonna lead to some absolutely god awful nightmares for Scar and Company.

I also desperately want to know what Scar and Tubbo said to each other. Give me the cruuuuuuumbs. But also “There's a dim Fairy light fluttering by Tubbo's foot, and Blondie doesn't notice it for the shadow blocking it from her view.” The COORDINATION IN THIS SCENE. LOOK AT THEM. LOOK AT THEM. THEY ARE MATES AND THAT’S THEIR SON!!!! ABLE TO COMMUNICATE ABSOLUTELY SILENTLY ASKDLFDSH And then the cool, calm, knows his son is okay with his magic that Scar presents as both Mumbo and Grian RUSH forward when Tubbo activates the fairy lights – THIS SCENE IS SO COOL! I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT IT! The visual alone is mesmerizing, but the way it plays into all the magic strengths available to them [obviously not grian bc. No magic yet.] dkflsg AND EVEN THE PENDANT!!! THE PROTECTIVE PENDANT SCAR GAVE HIM! AHHHHH

At this point I feel like we’ve asked how Blondie isn’t dead like 5 times in this series and EVERY time I am gobsmacked she got away in the best way oh she is INSANE and I LOVE it. But also the fact that Tubbo just fucking VAULTED over the handrail the whole family is so in tune with each other oh my god. And all of them gathered around, on the defensive now, scar’s wind picking up I am feeling things.

The explanation of how magic breakdown works is fascinating and I love how they even have time for a little banter about how slow Mumbo feeds but SLFKDG THE PARALLELS BETWEEN MUMBO AND OTHER VAMPIRES IS SO COOL And then the whole brief talk of turning and ‘why do you two care about turning??” these men are wet rats wearing a trenchcoat. “Scar pauses- as if he’s just realized something” I feel like this has to be about like, ways to slow Scar’s Core down from killing him or preventing it all together but SADLKFSH SCAR WHAT DID YOU REALIZE. I THOUGHT WE ALREADY TOOK TURNING OFF THE T – WAIT. WAIT. Other creatures other than vampires feed on blood according to mumbo. HEY ATHERIX – DOES THAT INCLUDE THE VEX??? I NEED TO KNOW FOR SCIENCE REASONS.

AND THEN THE ARGUMENT! OH BOY YOU CAN F E E L  THE ADRENALINE RUNNING THROUGH BOTH GRIAN AND SCAR BECAUSE IT GETS SO HEATED AND THEY’RE BOTH SO FREAKED OUT AHH I FEEL SO BAD FOR TUBBO FRANKLY HE DESERVED TO GO OFF. AND THEY WAY SCAR’S MAGIC MOVES WITHOUT HIM SEEMING TO NOTICE TO BE AROUND THEM SALDFKGDFSH And the fact that Grian in all his wisdom recognizes that its not anger its FEAR and he needs to APOLOGIZE lafdkga of all the things he did in this fic that’s gotta be the smartest one tbh. THEY’RE ALL SO POSSESSIVE OF EACH OTHER AUGH AND THE LIL SNIPPET YOU POSTED FOR YOUR ASKS GAME HAS ME GOING INSANE NOW FR.

GO OFF KING TUBBO! I AM SNAPPING MY FINGERS! GO GO GO GO! GO OFF TUBBO!!! CLAP FOR THE BOY EVERYONE CLAPS HE DESERVES THIS HOW WAS THE CATHARSIS TUBBO!!! Also I said it earlier but I will say it again THIS PART -

““And Grian!” Grian almost jolts up at the sound of his name, having never heard Tubbo use it, and even Scar looks surprised as Tubbo turns his ire on Grian, anger fear frustration written across his face. “That stunt you pulled! Leaving us behind to face Myrani by yourself!”

“You did what-” Scar starts, but Tubbo barrels on.”

- IF I WAS GRIAN I WOULD WANT TO BE SET ON FIRE. And you know what Tubbo also deserves to just yell into the night sky. Good for him. Good for you king. Get it out. Someone put Tubbo in a rage room and let him go insane he just got Capri Sun’d and his dads are all being incredibly dumb.

            Love also that they only just remembered about Blondie BEING IN THE DAMN MANOR while they’re having this conversation, INCREDIBLY smart on her part to be like “Oh huh uh the wind. Went away. They’re yelling at each other. Deuces.” Also I did NOT miss the fact that while tubbo is STILL going [good for HIM make them SIT DOWN and stop BEING STUPID] Mumbo was also like “Huh you know nows a great time to slide out of here and go. Look. For Blondie yep-“  BUT ALSO TUBBO USING THE PENDANT SCAR GAVE HIM AGAINST SCAR!!! CLAPPING!!!!!

GOD I AM SO READY FOR THEM TO TALK also for those playing along at home, on word we are at 7 PAGES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And 2449 words.

I am once again answering at almost 3 AM because I have no regard for a proper and healthy sleep schedule <3

I want everyone to know I am the worst and most cryptic friend you can ever have exactly because of stuff like this LMAO-

Haha yesss <3 A big reason I included Midnights Past (other than being super self-indulgent) was a breather episode cause shit has gotten REAL here <3 haha Scar and Mumbo definitely do spend time together alone (mainly when Grian's asleep hkfskjd) but you're right, he definitely wouldn't have been at the staff carving without Grian hjfdskj. I wonder who would be invited to see Tubbo carve his first staff... :) On a completely random aside you have no idea how much I'm looking forward to Grian and Mumbo being added to the wall too. (In b4 "vampires don't have reflections/show up in photos" that is only true if the mirror has a silver backing and photography in the Midnight universe has come far enough to no longer include silver <3) A small moment of peace, reminding Grian what he has to lose <3

HAHA YEAH IMAGINE IF HE HAD FOUND IT WHEN THEY VISITED AQUA TOWN HA HA HA <3 But at this point Grian and Scar have history and they love each other so much so he chooses to trust Scar and think of alternative reasons why Scar might have this thing <3 Because this could have gone very badly if it had happened at any other time lmaooo <3 Hm hm hmmmm we'll see what gets said in the next chapter. But you're definitely right, the next chapter is gonna be a huge Grian chapter bc between the three of them, we've seen the least of his history <3 They shall TALK FINALLY and it will be glorious <3 Well he didn't exactly put it back LMAO he was going to but then the whole uh whisper in his ear thing... and he takes it to the manor with him instead... but still, your point stands <3 YEAH LMAO I was giggling when I wrote that line <3

I love Watcher stuff and am itching to get to the meat of it jhfsdjkfdsjk. AH NO I'M SO SORRY ABOUT THE RELIGIOUS TRAUMA but it tracks I think, Grian too has the religious trauma. HA. What if I never confirm or deny what the chosen means. What if I let everyone just assume :) jk jk hjfsdjkfdhj HAHAHA oh yes, there's something there that I cannot WAIT to write about. :) But which I will not expand on here because- well, MAJOR spoilers jhkfdk <3 :) Heheheh yes, that last page.... that will be fun to discuss. I mean it's discussed next chapter but... something about that last page won't be revealed until a certain.. adventure. :) YESSSS I am happy you noticed his thoughts immediately calling back to the passage, as he was actively thinking about it and comparing his situation to it and just hjfdsjkfdskj-

YEAH LMAO I thought to myself "maybe when he catches Tubbo should be the first time he flies since being clipped" which would have been BEAUTIFUL and absolutely heartwarming. Buuuut I also thought "you know, it's totally him to finally fly because he's stubborn and his two braincells are splitting. Hm." hjkfhdskj YEAH he's so SMART and SNEAKY but such a one-track minded bird brain <3 HJFSKJDS LMAO everyone wants to throttle him for this stunt JKFSKLKAS-

Yessssssss makes me want to write a 5 + 1 that shows all the things he's left behind lmao. Cuz something I really loved writing over the course of Midnight is how Scar starts off having never stayed at the manor, instead being a frequent guest at the Inn, and then he stays at the manor when he's too injured to get home, and then he only stays occasionally when either Grian or Mumbo ask/demand he stay, and just starts staying more frequently until he just doesn't go to the Inn anymore (except maybe to say hi to Keralis). He has his own room at the manor now, even if it's unofficially and he doesn't use it anymore because now he's with Grian and Mumbo which means when he stays the night Grian absolutely grabby-hands him for sleepy cuddles, and. I just. I love the evolution of Scar going from having never stayed (willingly) in the manor to pretty much always staying at the manor when he's in Boatem and just hjfdsjkfdsk <3 ANYWAY TANGENT ASIDE but YES Grian leaning into his more possessive side, partly just because he's him and partly because he's trying to push himself... it doesn't work obviously, he has no idea what he's doing when it comes to his magic, BUT! jkfsdjkfdsjk!

Grian, looking at a wall of fire: Yeah I can walk through that UFHSHFKJS he is so. There were so many better ways to get answers. Scar is a history/legends nerd, man, he probably KNOWS. (I say as the author of this story, knowing exactly what Scar does and doesn't know hjkfdsjkfdk) I love Blondie because she's despicable <3 AND YEAH MUMBO with his passive self destruction just. jhkfdslkfdk-

Grian just being like "what a waste" and just jhfdsjkfds their home, their stuff and so much damage, things are ruined and they need to fix it but also there are more important things than fixing broken tile and just hjfdsjkfdkj- He is a reckless and brave bird who doesn't realize he's getting plaid until it's too late because Blondie is a biiiit hard to read, she's such a shit person that he can't tell if the deception and amusement is just her general expression or a sign of something dangerous hjfsdjfdsjk- LOOK I LOVE THE wrong wrong wrong thing, I love the triple repetition of an action or feeling that emphasizes the severity of the action or feeling and just jkfsdjkfkdsj. Idk it just spikes the eerie nervousness, it's so much more tense than just saying "something feels wrong about this situation" and just fhjkdsjkfdskj- YEAH YOU CAUGHT IT he was absolutely trying to pull on his Watcher magic now that he's pretty confident that's what he is. He fails because it's not awakened yet buuuut <3

You act as if Mumbo having blood on his fangs and lips wouldn't drive Grian absolutely wild hkfdJKDJKDSJK but yes, Mumbo is absolutely a much more ethical and neater Vampire than Blondie, who is. Well. She's something else alright. HJfjkdshjfdsjk-

YEAH HE KNOWS BUT HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT ANY OF THIS MEANS HE HAS NO IDEA AND BLONDIE DOESN'T REALLY EITHER BUT SHE HAS MORE OF AN IDEA THAN HE DOES AND IJUST HJDSJHDJKS- Both is good yes LMAO. Grian's gonna have to figure out how to be both at the same time, though <3 AND YEA GRIAN DID IT TO HIMSELF AND WE ALL KNOW HOW BUT HE ISN'T 100% SURE HIMSELF AND JUST JHFSJKDS yes oh man and to think I almost ended this fic without a good and honest talk. They need to figure this out bc oooo man <3 AND YEAH Mumbo has heard those words but has not really realized what it means, in the grander scheme of things. For him he just thinks "Grian can never go back because the Watchers will kill him for what he did" LMAO-

YES. This time Mumbo is there to stop her, he is able to save Grian just in time, and MAN YES MUMBO PRACTICING HIS MAGIC FINALLY IS GONNA BE SUCH A LIFE SAVER HUH. :) Haha I haven't written this certain fic yet (the one that explores Mumbo and Scar's relationship before Grian got involved) but Mumbo is often described by other Vampires as the man who "loses and loses again," besides his general distance he keeps from everyone there is a reason Scar tried so hard to make Mumbo actively dislike him so he'd never hurt him...... :) Which is a feeling that gets properly confronted next chapter by the way <3

Hold onto that thought :)

MUMBO FEELS RESPONSIBLE FOR THEM ALL, they're HIS Coven and he's THEIR Lord he should be able to protect them </3 (which we of course know isn't how it fully works but Mumbo is new to these emotions/instincts of his and just hjfsdjkkfds) Grian deserves a tiny bit of gnawing guilt about this yes-

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 Hi I need you to DM me asap?

HAHAHAHA you have FINALLY gotten the capri-sun scene JKFHSJKFS dear readers I talked about/described this scene to them ONCE and they have been eagerly waiting for it and I am so happy to finally deliver HJKFHSKJ <3 YESSSS Blondie being able to teleport is so fun because unlike Mumbo's shadow-walking, you don't know where Blondie is going. AND YEAH Blondie even calls him a Coven child jkfdjkfsd if that don't spell it out. (and later on Tubbo even talks about the whole Lord and Coven thing and uses the words we so-) Having no time to process that yes, this child (who is a legal adult but ya know-) is their child now too and AW SHIT fhjjfkgdsjk the moment he gets bitten all logical thought goes out the window and Grian almost faceplants painfully into a few different things hfgdsjkgfdjk but they just want to save him and just. KJDHSJKDS <3

SCAR WILL SQUARE UP FOR HIS SON'S SAKE. He is injured himself, tired and possibly low on magic :) :) but damn, his kid's in trouble and he activated the teleportation glyph in Tubbo's bee glyph SO FAST. Possibly the moment he got a chance- YEAH trust me the nightmares from this are gonna be terrible haha makes a certain future scene :) That you are the only one who knows about :)) a little more :) :) Hm hmm-

hjfgdjkgfdkj it was something very simple, like "Is the pendant charged?" "Not fully, needs magic" jkfsdjkfdjk YEAH Mumbo didn't know what Scar was planning but the moment he saw that Fairy light he knew he needed to hide it from Blondie <3 Once again thank goodness he's been practicing with his magic hjfdsjk BUT YESSSSSS THE COHESIVENESS, THE FLAWLESS WORKING TOGETHER I AM JUST HKFSKJSD YESSS Scar being calm and collected while Mumbo and Grian are like "WAIT A MINUTE WHAT THE HECK THAT'S RAW MAGIC" jkfhsdkjhgk let me tell you, I have ALWAYS imagined this scene going that way- with Tubbo using Scar's Fairy light to activate the protection glyph he has <3 jkfsdfdjk AND YES THE SHOWCASE OF ALL THE MAGIC I love it. One day Grian will join in <3 AND YESSS THE MVP PROTECTION PENDANT HHHAHHDS-

At least now we have a bit of an answer <3 kfdsjkfdkj YEAH Tubbo vaulted over like he was so confident that ONE of them would catch him cuz he jumped from the THIRD FLOOR and just hjfjdskfgds he knew at least Scar wouldn't let him hit the ground <3 So much trust in this family I love them <3 They're a FAMILY your honor-

Yessss from the moment I established how Vampires actually feed (off the inherent magic found in blood) I knew I'd need to talk about this eventually, because establishing that magic cannot actually mix or be absorbed by 99% of the Supernatural population, because of how it conflicts with their own magic... I knew I'd have to explain eventually how Vampires are able to use other people's magic jkfgfdlk And yes. I specified Supernaturals on purpose. Because there is a group of Natural that is very well known for absorbing foreign magic into their own core :) They will ALWAYS find time to banter <3 HFJKSHKFDSJK Mumbo is just <3 My beloved hkjglfdkgdf LMAO WET RATS IN TRENCH COATS pretty much <3 Mumbo is sus immediately and Scar barely even gives the conversation a first thought, nevermind a second- HJFKSHJKFDSK :) I cannot say about that :)

YEAH THE ARGUMENT WAS FUN TO WRITE but it made me nervous just writing it so <3 But I am also anxiety personified so uh- BUT YEAH I agree Tubbo 1000% deserved to go off after this </3 But they're both freaked out and worried and afraid and they just need to talk <3 HA let me tell you magic responding to a person's emotions is one of my weaknesses I am WEAK for it AND YES Grian's little emotion-reading power comes in clutch, Scar is scared because he just found out he was so close to losing Grian and Mumbo and Tubbo and just jkfjkfdl <3 <3 He loves Scar and doesn't want to hurt him in any way and just <3<3 HAHA YESSSSSS <3

I AM CLAPPING FOR HIM. THE CATHARSIS, THE JUST SCREAMING, PROBABLY SOME THINGS HE'S BEEN THINKING FOR A WHILE, SCAR. FHJSKFJLKS that is the epitome of "it was at this moment Grian knew, he fucked up." JUST JKFSKLJS Tubbo, who was raised to not use people's real names (even though he is not Fae and would only be able to compel a Fae with their name, and not a non-Fae kjfsdkj), using Grian's real name. That's like- calling someone's first, middle and last name in the house HJKFDHJLKFS Tubbo needs a rage room. He needs time to just vent and rant because he's gotten custody of the shared Coven braincell this chapter jkfdslofdskj

LMAO YEAH she just peaced out. To be fair to her, though (which I hate doing, really)- she's injured and weak and in a very primal state, and they're yelling and Scar's magic is flaring and who knows what Grian's might have been doing at that moment and just hjfdshgjkdhjkfgds she chooses to fight another day when it's less likely Scar's magic will explode and Grian's magic will violently awaken LMAO- hfkjdshgjklds I thought it was funny when I wrote it, too- Tubbo going off on his dad while Scar apologizes, because an apology isn't gonna magically fix everything, and Mumbo just. Listening. While he tries to get the door locked again and searches the manor with his shadows. Just. Hjkfsdklfds And yes the pendant. Tubbo knows a little about the pendant's history and the way it made Scar feel, it's his way of saying tell them. Let them in. Let yourself trust them with the most fragile parts of you, because that's what you do with people you love. And the pendant- the symbol of Scar's father's love for him, his desire to protect him, which became the symbol of Scar's love and desire to protect his son, something inherently so powerful yet gentle and fragile, something that needs to be taken care of and tended to but which can save your life with such a grand display of power....... do you see the metaphor here-

I AM ALSO READY FOR THEM TO TALK I HAVE BEEN WAITING TO WRITE SOME OF THIS CONVERSATION I AM. SO EXCITED. I've already got ~2600 words written and we're not even halfway through the first third of the conversation HJKFHSJKS-

Guess what it's past 4 AM now. It took me an hour to respond. ~2500 words HAHA WORTH IT-

[danses-with-dogmeat]

Ooh, could you do Deacon for the jealousy ask as well please?

Ask and you shall receive! Enjoy :)

Here is the original post (with Danse, Gage, and MacCready)

Deacon:

He couldn’t blame people for staring, for giving Sole their attention and striking up conversation. She was just... she was something else, something incredible, and he knew it. So, unless it got particularly out of hand, Deacon would let a bit of innocent attempts at courting take place, so long as he was near enough to monitor the conversation.

If he felt so inclined to eventually interrupt (and he certainly would after a short time), Deacon might try his hand at wooing Sole’s admirer himself. Sauntering up to the pair, dusky eyes hidden behind shadowed lenses, a light of mischief and feigned sexual interest glowing in their blue depths, as he’d fix the stranger with his gaze, looking them up and down as though they were some fine specimen to be admired. Sole would stifle a giggle as the spy growled seductively at the clearly uncomfortable third party, relentless in expressing what exactly he’d like to do with them if they’d just agree to “get outta here” with him. At this point, most of Sole’s potential suitors would decline, or huff their displeasure at his obvious ploy. Occasionally though, some would agree, much to Deacon’s surprised pleasure as he turns to leave alongside his new companion, wiggling his eyebrows at Sole before she has to actively drag him away, apologizing profusely on behalf of her… challenged partner.

However, if Sole’s pursuant is more harmful than potentially humorous, Deacon’s demeanor would be quite different. Someone lays a hand on Sole when she is clearly refusing them? Nuh uh, nope, sorry. You’d better lay off, pal. 

Deacon would first attempt to deter them verbally, trying to remain quiet so as not to draw attention to them, but his low voice, sharpened to a fine edge by his quiet fury, would whisper menacingly in their ear, much too close for all parties involved. He'll start by giving them a warning, if they don’t look like they’ll heed said warning, it may just turn into a threat. He doesn’t make the rules, that’s just the natural progression of things. If they still don’t quit with their assholery, Deacon wouldn’t mind throwing hands, low profile be damned. This was a bar, after all, and people fight in bars, right? So... you know, it’s fine.

Deacon would know that Sole has his back if he does find himself in a real pickle, but he would enjoy taunting his opponent as he ducked out of the way of their blows, mostly just acting in defense until the opportunity to turn their lights out presented itself. Shaking his aching fist as the assailant crumples to the floor in response to his well-placed blow, he’d utter some ridiculous phrase to settle the physical argument (“Whoops, sorry. I didn’t mean to get handsy, I just got so excited.” / “I love your eyeshadow, what color is that, dickhead blue?” / “Holy shit! You guys see that? He/she just ran straight into my fist! How unfortunate.” / “Rude of you just to fall asleep when I’m trying to have a conversation over here.”)

Once the exchange is over, he’ll turn his attention to Sole, making sure she’s alright. He’d try to keep his cool exterior, but if she seems really shaken up, he’ll bring her aside somewhere and let her unwind with him a bit. Listening if she wants to talk, offering some amusing quips to try and cheer her up, distracting her from the memories of the stranger’s gruff advances. Deacon’s dealt with his share of anxious people in the aftermath of bad situations, so he’s especially good at talking her through things, keeping her calm, and reassuring her that he won’t allow something like that to go so far again.

If Sole didn’t seem all that bothered by the stranger coming on to them, or especially if they seemed to enjoy it, things would play out a bit differently. Deacon might still try his hand at fake flirting with their suitor in order to keep up appearances in front of Sole, but afterwards, would turn to her, an expression of faint hurt just barely evident in the lines of his face as he considered their reaction to the attractive stranger’s attention. 

Deacon didn’t trust anymore, he didn’t do that. He couldn’t. It went against everything he believed, everything he had taught Sole when they first came to the Railroad. Trust led to disappointment, and, in his experience, it inevitably led to betrayal. Now, as he finally was allowing his walls to crumble down, his shades to be lifted away, revealing the only piece of himself that has remained himself, he comes to second-guess the faith he’s placed in this person he calls his partner. The hint of pain etched in his expression would vanish as he hastily re-laid the brick to reinforce the walls he had placed around him, wondering why he ever thought he could allow them to be torn down by anyone in the first place, even Sole. 

Dry, sarcastic remarks and fake smiles that never reached his eyes would be the only response Sole could coax from their companion until she managed to explain her actions. Still though, even after reasonable explanation, she would have to be patient with Deacon, as the circumstance forces her back to the threshold of his trust. 

Once Sole worms her way into Deacon’s heart, caged and fortified as it is, she’ll be firmly encased there. When it comes to this wary Railroad agent, either he trusts someone completely, or not at all; and, as it turns out, the only one with their name on the former list is Sole, and Deacon would do most anything to keep it that way. As much as he relishes in having someone he can depend on and be honest with, it’s extraordinarily difficult for him to trust someone that wholeheartedly, but for Sole... he’ll try. That’s all he can do. He just hopes it’s enough to keep her in his life. 

[illumilu]

“there’s only one bed” - hisoka morow x reader

a/n: a very stereotypical cliche for fanfics, but, yk what? i roll with cringe. so here, have my drabbling of what would happen if you were to spend an unwanted night in the same hotel bed as the adultrio. i feel like i may have made this a bit too long, but who cares?? i have time, you have time and an incandescent loneliness to fill, so let’s get into it!

summary: you arrive at the hotel with hisoka, but to your horror (wink wink), there’s only one bed. this is part one of a three-part series, with the adultrio. illumi and chrollo will be coming soon!

warnings: no particular trigger warnings, lowercase intended, a lot of fluff! and cuddling! i’m afraid there’s no nsfw here... keep in mind it’s hisoka - i kept it as pg as possible... may be ooc i’m sorry :)

hisoka morow:

- you arrived at your hotel room, tired from the trip there, not quite sure what to expect. you stared at the single bed placed in the middle of the room, aghast. there must have been some kind of mistake. except there wasn’t. the room had been booked out of simplicity, with no specification on the number of beds, or anything else for that matter.

- and, of course, the man you had booked this room with was none other than hisoka morow.

- otherwise known as the most flirtatious man on earth.

- a little bit of backstory; as your strictly professional colleague, hisoka was always taunting you with his charming little phrases, treating you like his little toy whom he could mess around with.

- “oh, y/n! whatever will we do~?” 

- you sighed in frustration. out of all the people you could have been stuck with on this trip, it had to be hisoka.

- hisoka sighed and pouted - not from worry or anguish - but, rather, to mock you. you shot him a dirty look.

- “my my, y/n... why so serious? it’s not like i’ll do anything~”

- the playful lilt in his voice suggested otherwise.

- while hisoka went off to take a shower, you busied yourself with your latest objective; making sure he couldn’t pull anything. being inventive as you were, you gathered all the pillows from the bed (which, for some reason, there were many of), and built a wall separating the two sides of the mattress.

- you got changed promptly, and lay on the left side of the bed, waiting for hisoka to come back. however, his shower ran for longer than expected, and soon enough you felt yourself becoming drowsy.

- just as you were about to fall asleep, you heard hisoka’s voice come from the other side of the room.

- he chuckled. “y/n, what do we have here? your latest invention~?” he teased, ridiculing you.

- “i don’t trust you.” you stated plainly, staring up at the ceiling. you couldn’t see him from across the strangely high pillow wall you had made, but you could feel him smirking. 

- “...and for good reason, y/n..” 

- he extended his arm and lazily ejected his bungee gum to attach to the pillows, knocking them over in an instant. damn. you thought you had made a pretty good structure. 

- you rolled over lethargically to see him standing there; what a sight.

- honestly, you didn’t mind hisoka. it was just... he often became... annoying. as much as he irritated you, you had to admit he was quite pretty. striking amber eyes, streaky plum hair that fell across his face, soft lips and an overall impressive facial structure. not to mention his unique fashion sense that somehow accentuated his toned body. porcelain skin, with his childish paint, which was so often called on by you - “hisoka, do you put that on every goddamn morning?” - he was a fine man. 

- but, when that bastard opened his mouth.

- what a contrary tale.

- he waltzed closer to the bed and eventually sat down with his legs crossed, like a child in a classroom - except, he was staring down at you, who was scowling at him.

- “hisoka. don’t pull anything. i’m going to sleep.” you ordered, rolling to your other side so you were now facing away from him.

- “oh y/n... but how could i resist you~?” he joked, lying down on his back, unnecessarily close to you. you tensed up. 

- “hisoka.” you warned. except you didn’t really sound like you were warning anyone. some undertones in your voice urged you to let things happen - for an uncertain millisecond, thoughts of letting hisoka do what he wanted plagued your mind.

- the millisecond passed soon enough.

- the jester turned to his side, so you were both facing the same direction and began whispering in your ear with a smile. why was his voice so... smooth? so succinct and mellow? that was not the type of person he was. so why did you want to melt into him? he giggled childishly. 

- “so... y/n... you wouldn’t mind if i did-”

- “-this!”

- all of a sudden, hisoka was embracing you, cuddling you and shoving his idiotic face into the crook of your neck.

- “HISOKA, YOU HAVE FIVE SECONDS TO GET OFF ME.”

- “oh, but if you wanted me off, couldn’t you simply give me a little kick~?”

- bright idea, madman. bright idea.

- you kicked him in the stomach, which invoked no painful reaction, but prompted him to roll to the other side of the bed, letting you escape from his clutches. 

- “ah. y/n, that hurt~” he exhaled tiredly, feigning offence; it was more of a hum, which escaped his mouth like golden honey pouring from a dipper.

- “good. don’t come near me again.” 

- “if that’s what you want, darling~”

- “don’t call me that, morow.” you glowered.

- “how scary... good night, y/n.”

- despite trying to hide it underneath his complacent ego, hisoka was beginning to worry. the man was attracted to essentially everyone, but something pulled him closer to you especially. you had a certain magnetism about you that he found increasingly attractive. why did he find teasing you so... enjoyable? why did he long for you to reciprocate? thoughts such as these had been swarming his subconscious since the beginning of the trip. he had pushed away such speculation, for it didn’t suit him.

- a man like him, a man who killed so depravedly, a man whom nothing was known about, an enigma of sorts; surely a man like that didn’t deserve to truly love. 

- meanwhile, your brain was a motor engine; what had just happened, and why did you let it go on for so long? you had the reflexes of an expert nen user; so why did you let him stay there, nuzzling into you, before socking him in the gut?

- what a conundrum, for the both of you. looks like this cliche is reaching its peak, hm?

- you fell asleep soon enough; after all, the trip had been long and you were tired. not only physically, but also emotionally. hisoka wasn’t helping your case.

- hisoka himself often had trouble sleeping, which many people didn’t know. most nights, he just lay there solemnly, thinking of new card tricks or enticements for new victims.

- lately, however, he had been thinking of you.

- which he didn’t like at all.

- time passed as his mind whirred while he contemplated who you were, and why you made him so impressionable. suddenly, he heard something.

- he had his back turned to you but heard a shuffling of bedsheets. what time was it? 1am? 2am? he couldn’t tell, but he came to the conclusion that you moved around when you slept and left it at that.

- that was, until, he felt someone cling around his back and reach across his chest firmly, wrapping around his waist with their leg.

- that someone was you.

- if only you knew what you were doing, you would be appalled... maybe a little grateful... but for the most part, appalled.

- your soft breath brushed hisoka’s back delicately, making his nerves transform into an quivery yet arrogant smirk. your arm was wrapped around his chest and your leg was draped across his side. you were obviously deeply sleeping. he couldn’t see you from the way you were embracing his back, but he could have easily woken you up at any given moment.

- so, why didn’t he wake you up?

- maybe it was because he could tease you about it in the morning. yeah. that seemed reasonable. that seemed alike to what hisoka would usually do.

- or maybe it was something else, something he didn’t want to come to terms with, something panging within his heart, something festering inside of him, something that was a victim to his ignorance of emotion. 

- much like he had done to you earlier, you burrowed into his shoulder, sighing contentedly, blissfully unaware of what was going on.

- blissfully unaware of the way you were ruling over hisoka, the way you were confusing him and making his emotions a tumultuous mess.

- surprisingly, you clinging to him helped him sleep, and within 15 minutes, hisoka was out like a light. though neither of you were conscious enough to experience it, those few hours you spent embracing each other felt tranquil. it almost felt normal, or like something that should have happened long ago, but never did.

- as peaceful as those hours were, the moment you woke up, everything crumbled into chaos. complete and utter mayhem - at least, on your part.

- you woke up calmly enough, as one usually does, without realising where you were or what you were doing. but, as soon as you registered that you weren’t hugging a pillow, but in fact a person, your reflexes triggered and you abruptly let go, jolting backwards and upright.

- oh my god. 

- not just a person.

- hisoka morow.

- you stared at him dozing away, like the little jerk he was.

- what had he done to you? had he put you under some spell? no, that wouldn’t make sense. he was a transmuter, not a manipulator. the bastard probably didn’t even know how to manipulate. then, what was it? was it his dumb bungee gum? your mind was racing 100 miles per hour, so you sat on the left side of the bed, sullen and confused.

- your side of the bed. the left side. the side you had so protectively proclaimed as “your side”. yet there you had been, on his side of the bed, cuddling him? what type of sorcery had he used to make you embrace him so passionately? 

- facing the wall, you rationalised yourself. hisoka wouldn’t have done anything, right? but neither would you. right? right?

- “awake, are we?” 

- hisoka interrupted your disarray of thoughts. you stood up and turned to look at him. he was propped up on the header of the bed, staring at you composedly. with those amber eyes. what was he on? why was he doing this to you?

- “you...” you began accusing him but couldn’t finish. looking at hisoka, he seemed... well-rested for once. did he even know what had happened? was he waiting for you to admit something?

- “i...? i what, y/n? use your words~” he cooed mischievously.

- oh, the jackass. he definitely knew.

- you glared at him, unable to compile your thoughts into words. you watched as he stood up and walked toward you, until he was standing opposite you, gazing into your eyes. he smiled knowingly at you, causing an surge of emotions to rush up your throat, inciting you to say something, to do something, anything. 

- “did you...”

- “no, y/n. it was you.” he simpered.

- oh.

- he raised his hand and pat you on the head, a sly and righteous smirk ceasing to wipe off his lips. he left to the bathroom, leaving you standing there, mouth agape, eyebrow twitching in annoyance. or perhaps, better said, in confusion. when did you start clinging to people like that? 

- why... did you feel so at home? when you first woke up, something had been different. some sort of warmth had enveloped you, in your heart. it had felt nice to have someone to lie close to. 

- in the meantime, hisoka was also seriously mulling over his emotions for you. so many questions invaded his mind, each popping up quicker than the last had been answered. 

- sometimes, he felt as if it would be better to keep everything about you tucked away. underneath his charming, intelligent mask was years of emotion and love and hatred and all things deemed merely human, but too human for him to ever “deserve”.

- as the jester stared at his dazed reflection in the cheap hotel mirror, he came to this conclusion; it wasn’t a matter of what he deserved, or his entitlement. he had to confront the obvious truth that had been bugging him for so long.

- he would tell you he loved you, but not for himself. he would do it for you.

- let’s just say this was the start of something new.

hey so i thought it’d also be good to mention that this is my first time writing a fic on here... to be honest, it’s more the format of a drabble, but i hope you enjoyed! the word count was 2084 words, so i’m super sorry for rambling on too much - i feel like i got a little too deep into hisoka’s character at the end there. illumi’s and chrollo’s version will be coming when i have the time!

either way, likes or reblogs or whatever are super appreciated, but don’t feel forced to or anything! either way, i feel like no one’s gonna see this with my reach LMAOO but anyways thank you for reading, if you made it here! feedback and tips for writing on here are always helpful :) 

[inviberu]

mirror

An old mirror dirty enough to the point you can’t see your reflection anymore. Faust decided to take a better look at it. He never expected it to turn out as a lost relic from a once prosperous city.

“Oh dear me!” Snow gasped, putting his hand over his mouth to appear more shocked than he actually is. A thoughtful smile suddenly took over his expression not long after as he put his hands on his hips. “I would’ve never thought I’d see this again in this day and age.”

“You know what this is?” Faust’s eyes widened as he examined the mirror in his hands once more, its golden rim giving off a shiny gleam after recovering it from the ruins during their last expedition to the Eastern country. It managed to pique the hermit’s interest after seeing it lay bare on the ground in such a terrible state, wanting to recover it to its former beauty. In some way, it reminded him of himself.

“But of course! This was awfully revered back in the day by both humans and wizards alike. It’s a good thing that my weary self was able to remember it.” Snow chirped, taking a closer look at the mirror. “A relic from a once-famous city—a mirror that is said to have the ability to show you the future. After their downfall, no one had any idea about where the relic laid rest. Ohoho! You’ve come across an exquisite item indeed.”

“The ability to show me the future? That’s ridiculous. I just picked it up from the ground, there’s no way a mirror like this is a lost relic.” Despite the sureness from his words, his voice held a certain kind of doubt that believed Snow. There was no reason for someone like Snow to lie to him after all, there was simply no merit in doing so and Snow wasn’t one to lie about this sort of stuff just for his own amusement.

“You think I jest? I see, then why don’t you try it out for yourself?” Snow’s expression held a smug smile before he remembered something and he let out a small gasp. “I heard it was very moody and picky though, so it might not work on your first try.”

“A moody mirror? The more I hear about this mirror the more I think that it’s a joke.” Faust shook his head.

“Ohoho! Try saying ‘please and thank you’ to the mirror when you try.” What Snow said sounded like a tease but Faust knew well that he was being serious. He didn’t know which one was worse—he could only let out a sigh as he inspected the mirror again. Could a mirror truly tell him of the future? Such an item is far too dangerous to be left out in the open.

“Woah, so you’re telling me this mirror can show you the future?” You wandered inside Faust’s room back and forth but your eyes remained fixated on the mirror placed on his desk, its intricate golden design never failed to catch your interest. It was hard to believe such a thing was capable of showing you the future when all sorts of magic relating to that were either forbidden or extremely hard unless you were gifted with the gift of prophecy like the twins from the North.

Faust let out a sigh, he couldn't bring himself to believe it either but there were a lot of strange things in this world—this was just one of them. "Apparently," he pushed up his glasses as he took the mirror in his hands and looked at his reflection. "Do you want to give it a try?"

"Me?" You asked curiously, wondering why Faust would ask you such a thing but you weren't against the idea of the mirror showing you your possible future. Though you can't help but feel a little bit scared when you thought about the possibilities—there was nothing more terrifying than the unknown future, after all. Faust handed you the mirror and you stared at it blankly. With much hesitance, you nodded.

"I'll try… how does this even work in the first place?" You tried tapping the glass, wondering if it was some sort of touch screen mirror but you were met with disappointment when it did nothing.

"Snow said to try saying 'please and thank you' to the mirror, I don't know if that'll work though. He said it was moody." Faust let out a dry chuckle, the thought still ridiculous to him but never crossed it out as impossible. If the mirror would truly respond to something like that, it only proved the strangeness of this magical world. You shot him a strange look, a moody mirror? But you pushed back the doubt to the back of your head and put your trust in him instead.

"Mirror, can you show me the future? Pretty please?" You cooed, feeling a bit stupid for pleading to a mirror like this. You waited a few moments for a reaction while looking at the object expectantly, only to be met with utter disappointment when it did absolutely nothing. Faust was silent along with you until he let out a small laugh, did you look stupid when you were doing that? You questioned if Snow was just pulling both of your legs, that mischievous old man!

"As expected, it won't work just because we asked it to."

"Geez, Faust! Do you really think a shabby thing like this can show us the future?" Shabby was the last word you would use to describe the mirror had it not been for your rage towards its defect. It looked elegant and regal, as if it didn't spend centuries lying beneath some rubble—it was a miracle the glass wasn't broken by such heavy fragments lying atop of it. You shook your head and gave Faust the mirror, giving up on it after you added: "How about you try it? It might listen to you because you're the one that picked it up."

He shot you a hesitant look, he had a feeling this wasn't going to end well yet he pushed that feeling into the back of his mind and stared at his reflection—he caught a small glimpse of your face in it while you were looking away and he couldn't help but break into a small smile. At that moment, something changed.

The hand mirror shook slightly in his grasp. Faust, alarmed, tried to make it sit still by gripping it tighter but it proved to be futile when it flew from his grasp and a blinding light filled the room—eliciting gasps of shock from the both of you as Faust grabbed to shield you from whatever was emerging in his room. When the light disappeared, it took him a while to get adjusted to the sudden change but once he did, he saw the hand mirror transformed into a full-body one sitting in the middle of his room.

"What in the world…" Faust left your side to carefully inspect the area, making sure there were no more risks in the area before taking your hand while telling you it was safe—aside from the now huge mirror residing smack middle in his room, its golden glow giving off an intimidating aura. You felt your initial shock turn into excitement.

"Isn't this great? It responded to you! What did you say?" You asked him, curious. You weren't paying attention to him at that time, perhaps you missed something.

"Nothing, actually. It just started vibrating and this happened." Faust tipped his hat slightly, closing his eyes and let out another sigh. One strange thing after another, he was bound to be drained at the end of the day, wasn't he?

"That's strange, you didn't say anything and yet it responded to you… curious." You stroked your chin. Faust stepped into the mirror's view and nothing was out of the ordinary, it showed him nothing of the future, only his reflection. He paused, was it broken after being left there for so many centuries? It was a plausible explanation. It was just like a normal mirror now, it was a shame such a relic has lost its true value—eroded along with the years that passed.

That is, until you stepped into the view.

The moment you stepped into the view, everything that the mirror showed suddenly changed as it emitted a faint white glow. You closed your eyes for a second and you could hear the faint sounds of… bells? You opened your eyes slightly to look at the mirror only for Faust to slap his hand over your eyes to obstruct your vision before you could get a small glimpse of what changed.

A bunch of incomprehensible sounds fell from Faust's lips and you tried to remove his hand from your eyes but that just made his actions more frantic. He grabbed your wrist and dragged you away from the mirror to outside of his room. You tried asking him what his problem was but you were left unheard as he left you outside and shut the door to his room aggressively. By the time you tried making sense of the scenario, you were already staring at his door from outside—did he just kick you out?

Your mouth was wide open when the realization dawned on you—what was his problem!? You crossed your arms grumpily, a part of you wanted to knock on his door again to demand an explanation but another part wanted you to storm off without saying anything to him. You pouted, or was he trying to protect you from something dangerous? Magical items could be dangerous if not handled correctly, after all.

In the end, you didn't know what to do and rested your forehead against his door frame with a clenched fist ready to knock at any given time and a defeated look.

To say Faust panicked back there was an understatement, he felt as if his soul was about to leave his body right then and there when he saw the scene the mirror showed him. He could only breathe a sigh of relief, he was glad he acted quickly before you caught a glimpse of it—that would've made things worse and he wouldn't know what to do. He slumped against the door, feeling a bit light-headed and fuzzy, the heat refusing to leave his face. He was embarrassed.

The sight wasn't something particularly scary or tragic. In fact, it was the complete opposite—though that made it all the more confusing as to why Faust would stop you from looking at it. It was a scene that he saw in one of his many dreams, something that flustered him to no end and wished it would leave him alone.

The bells that rang in the background, the happy couple dressed in white as they looked at each other lovingly, a perfect wedding scene straight from the dreams Faust doesn't tell anyone. A perfect wedding scene of you and him in the distant future—together.

To think your fate was intertwined like this… Faust could only hope that it's a future that's bound to happen. But, right now, he can't let you find out about this lest he wants to live the rest of his life inside the forest hiding from you. He would simply pass away from sheer embarrassment, oh how would he even face you? His cheeks burned red at the thought of a wedding with you once again.

[dangermousie]

CFC Chapter 54

“A crashing car?” Ahahahaha I see you, Meatbun. But it was indeed an utter pileup!

I know I commented on this passage in its various iterations eight billion times already but I still have more to say. And it’s that XQC taking so long to realize that even though HY is young, his emotions and feelings are as genuine and strong as those of anyone older is so realistic - people do tend to think that especially with regard to children - think of a reaction of an adult to a three year old crying over ice cream they dropped. It’s all amused even if not meanly so. Because to an adult with vastly more experience, this is not a big deal. But what that forgets is that whether it’s ridiculous to someone else or not, to the person at issue that is a real feeling, AND that of course a person can only feel through the lens of their experience - what else is there? Emotions aren’t any less valid because they are informed by lesser or different experience.

Honestly, to me so far this is one of the driving messages of the novel - everyone is in their own world of issues and pain and none of these characters can truly look through the lens of another person and it would be so much better if they did. To XQC, for so long, He Yu’s strong feelings (and we know so many of these feelings are awful - despair, and self-loathing, and loneliness) never quite felt real and therefore never quite felt fully valid. And by the time it wasn’t the case, it was too late.

But the same is true for He Yu - he is so concentrated on his own grievances and his own pain, he cannot perceive others’ different issues. In He Yu’s mind, he’s the winner and always champion of Misery Olympics and while he’s had a horrible time of it, that doesn’t mean other people didn’t either just in different ways. Whether because of his condition, his issues or just his age, HY is not empathetic in the least.

And think about it - XQC does not have a horrible illness. He does not have unfeeling parents. But he had to watch his beloved parents brutally murdered in front of his eyes at 13 (!!!!) and then had to raise a 5 year old by himself. Is it worse or better than HY’s trauma? That’s a matter of opinion but what there is no question about is that is a different type of trauma and a different type of scar. Or think about the patient in the asylum whose name I am too lazy to look up - her life is such a theater of horrors that to me, it makes the combined issues of HY and XQC seem small, though once again that’s subjective. Nobody wins when people start this sort of competition.

My heart breaks for XQC but also - I am sorry - if/when HY x XQC hook up again (how? I have no idea! But that is one of the joys of Meatbun - I both have no idea how/where it’s going and utterly trust her), please have He Yu read up and learn things because Good God. You should not be in major pain the morning after unless you are into pain and XQC clearly is not!

The other thing is the bit about XQC forcing himself to walk in his usual ramrod-straight manner is the moment I went utterly gone for him. I mean, I liked him and found him interesting before. But this is the thing that flipped that invisible switch for me and I went rabid and irrational and now I am Team XQC and I don’t care what he wants and does from now on, he should have it. It’s so small but so real. My mother and her mother were both big on straight posture. And one of the reasons they gave was when you walk with good posture - you look confident but also it makes you feel confident and stronger. And I’ve actually found it to be true - when you throw your shoulders back and straighten your neck and hold your head up, it does not just give others a signal, it gives a signal to your own brain. So to see XQC insist on doing it, despite being emotionally and physically shattered - because of his pride refusing to give up, because he’s so unbending, but also this being some sort of instinctive armor, just hits straight through the heart.

OK, I laughed at HY as a fucking machine. But also, this is another point in the whole “everyone has issues” narrative and HY’s life could be worse. HY, with all his other issues, can pay an insane amount, an amount that XQC could not pay in a million years, so easily. It’s not even a blip to him. Hell, the fact that he forgot to pay speaks to that - I can see forgetting to pay a friend a couple of bucks back right away because it’s not much money. HY forgets because it does not loom in his mind. And this rich lifestyle is instinctive, is ingrained in him. I think he’d find it hard to be poor.

THAT is what he’s thinking about? Priorities are...

The sole good thing that came out of this insanity is that XQC is getting in touch with his emotions, even if those emotions are (rightly) rage. He’s too closed off from them normally.

The fact that you slept with a man should be secondary to the fact that you drugged and raped him, but here we are...

To me, this sums up He Yu as a moral wasteland. To still, when sober and past his fit and not under influence of wine, to still feel excitement over his revenge and to somehow twist it that it’s XQC’s fault for being raped by He Yu is !!!!!!!!!

(I suppose if I were charitable, I’d assume that the disquiet is small stirrings of almost dead conscience and his “he deserved it” is an attempt to justify the unjustifiable to himself, but I honestly don’t want to think so because I am so angry at him. Not until I see some more evidence. I don’t feel like being indulgent with He Yu since he’s indulgent with himself enough for two.)

1. The fact that you can tell from the picture XQC got taken by a man (I am gonna defer to Meatbun’s expertise here) definitely points to the fact that the pictures are going to be used for something bad later - because if it’s just oh XQC had sex, so what, he’s single what’s the big deal. But like this it becomes a different matter. No idea if it will be used for HY or XQC or both, and by whom (money is on Duan and co, but after the way HY went off, I would never say HY himself won’t use it badly somehow) but knowing Meatbun, it will go for maximum damage.

2. Ruthless? Perhaps. Unfeeling? Hmmmm. I am not He Yu’s biggest fan atm but that’s a wonderfully misleading adjective here. He does still seem to be in shock. And fixating.

3. The whole “hahahaha XQC is a hypocrite when he was all ‘I am not interested in sex’“ is - I am not sure if HY is just short-circuiting (fine) or using a rapist justification/rolling in a sea of toxic toxicity (not fine) because I am sorry, that’s totally like “he/she had a reaction, can’t be rape” writ large. Yeah, sure he had a reaction - you poured drugs down his throat. That has nothing to do with his default preferences or his actual state. THE FUCK?!

Anyway, we end on the whole “u mad bro?” bit and you know what strikes me? HY was all “I am done, we are done, my revenge is complete I don’t care” but here he is, still desperately seeking and craving reaction and interaction from XQC.

I remain utterly puzzled as to how these two will ever be a couple except for a couple being defined as “two mutually homicidal people.” Leaving aside everything else, I am willing to accept HY is in the closet - clearly whatever his orientation is, it includes men. But I do not get that sense from XQC at all. When he’s not drugged, he’s barely interested in sex with anyone and I do not get the sense he’s in the closet either. Chances of anyone, let alone He Yu, who is both a man and someone who raped him to humiliate him, being able to entice him into sexual encounters voluntarily is about the chance of me going to visit Mars. Meatbun loves doing insane things so I can’t wait.

PS I know people use the term psychopath all the time casually but ummm, I think He Yu may actually be one? When he has his father (!!!) on speakerphone, calmly carrying a conversation with the man as he’s raping his father’s friend in the club as he talks (!!!!!) that is...in RL I’d be “team lock him up for life, there is something so basic broken in him that it can’t be fixed.” Like - the hell? The ability to put things on different shelves so much is not in the same country as sane (it makes me think of 2ha and TXJ banging CWN being the curtain while performing court business but TXJ was bona fide clinically insane and also this is worse because this is his actual freaking father omg.) Of course, only time will tell whether it’s evidence of him being irreparably incapable of normalcy in terms of living in the world/interacting with others or it was an extreme psychotic (in casual parlance not medical one) break because most people are capable of truly horrific stuff if certain levers are pushed and his default is saner. It’s the question, isn’t it? Whether He Yu’s factory default setting is the monster of the previous chapters or the kid who’d cut his wrists so as not to hurt others.

Anyway, this novel is a terrifying roller coaster ride and I love having strong emotions.

[the-infamous-coat-of-baron-zemo]

Missed Opportunities - Helmut Zemo x Reader | Chapter 2

Here it is! I'm managed to whip up another part to this story. I hope you all enjoy this next bit!

If you missed out on Part 1, it's here.

Word Count: 2300 and some change

-----

Side Note: Obviously, I have taken some liberties with the plot and timeline of TFATWS. So this will be loosely based on the timings of what has happened, but will not be a chronological order of events occurred.

Much love to you, and thank you for the inspiration! And yes, there will be a Part 3 because this was more of a set-up chapter. So hopefully you won't be too disappointed with this one.

~Sandra~

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

As things turned out, your conversation with Bucky and Sam went surprisingly well. Once you were finally able to say your own piece and explain the entire story, a lightbulb seemed to have gone off within both of them.

Sam, of course, was the most understanding, realizing that the reaction Zemo had was surely due to the intense trauma of what happened. He went on to explain; he had seen those types of emotional outbursts between complete strangers who had similar experiences when The Blip happened. They would come into support groups to tell their own stories, once upon a time when the world began trying to make sense of what happened.

He said it was normal. And Sam was right, he's always right. It was a perfectly logical explanation, and those are the things you look for and stood by.

Except, this.

Nothing about Zemo's reaction felt normal. The connection upon seeing him again twisted up your insides and set your nerve endings on fire. None of your previous interactions ever gave you pause like this. No, this was different. Seeing the raw emotion on his face. The intensity of how closely he wrapped you into his body, as if he were trying to consume your entire being. You were held so closely to him, you could felt the beat of his heart, hear the raggedness of his breath, and sense the tremors beneath his fingertips.

Clearly what happened had changed you both. It would be hard not to given the enormity of the event. Again, you tried to think back to your time visiting him over the past couple of years in prison. Was there always a connection between you? Simmering beneath the surface? And The Blip was simply the catalyst to uncovering something hidden? You scoffed. Now you were just entertaining nonsense. Yes, it was emotional, but this was Zemo we're talking about. There's always a reasoning behind his actions, and they're usually executed in ways that only benefit him.

And just like that, logic and sanity had finally returned to you, like a cold bucket of ice water dowsing you over the head.

You remember looking to Bucky after Sam had finished his explanation and acceptance of everything that had transpired. You had sagged in relief noticing he had taken the information in stride and was no long on the defensive. However, in the following days after, you would always catch him now and again eyeing Zemo with some sort of suspicion. You figured with how manipulative the slightly unhinged genius could be, James was simply keeping a watchful eye on him. And why should he? We all should. Zemo was not to be trusted, and yet - deep down, you felt as if you were lying to yourself. That when push came to shove, you could trust him.

And that scared you.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

All of you were gathered around the kitchen island discussing tactics on where to locate Karli. Bucky had pitched we should be looking in isolated and abandoned areas, but Sam had different feelings on the subject. He felt they should be looking in more highly populated areas, as he believed they would want to try and blend in with the community like normal citizens.

So of course they start bickering, again.

You wanted to roll your eyes at them in utter exasperation, but held back. Instead you settle for a face palm as you continue to map out possible routes Karli and the Flag-Smasher may travel to stay accessible, but not completely visible to the public eye.

As you were zooming into a particular area that looked promising, you felt the brush of someone's hand against yours to the right of where you were sitting.

It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out who it was. Sam and Bucky were still debating who's idea would bring around to most promising results in the short amount of time we had before Karli decided to strike again.

You peered up at Zemo thinking he was hovering to catch a glimpse of what you were working on, but instead you were surprised to see he had simply poured you a cup of tea and set it next to you.

The brush of the hand was deliberate though. This you knew for a fact. Over the past few days since your little reunion, you noticed Zemo had been silently giving you brief bouts of physical contact. Nothing overtly sexual in nature. In fact, they were quite light and fleeting. Sometimes, it was a brush of his hand against yours, a soft touch at your lower back or the slide of his fingers against a hip as he walked past you.

You weren't quite sure what to make of the actions. They certainly didn't disrupt you, but your body always took immediate notice when he did it.

The chair you were sitting in had swiveled when you went to look at Zemo. You had planned on quietly thanking him, but he had already moved to the opposite side of the island to observe the land markings Sam had drawn up on a paper map.

You gently picked up the tea cup and brought it to your lips. The warmth of the tea emanating from the cup was a balm for your hands. Before taking a sip, you closed your eyes and inhaled the scent of the tea. Ah. Cherry blossom. Apparently, a favorite of his according to James.

When you opened your eyes, Zemo was now watching you. You tilted your head to the side and smiled graciously at him, mouthing a 'Thank you' in reply to his kind gesture.

The corner of his lip twitched up in response to your thanks, nodding back at you. He held his gaze as you took a sip of the tea.

Your eyebrows shot up as you swallowed the tea. It was quite delicious. You pointed to the cup and nodded your head up and down in quick succession to show your appreciation.

You could tell Zemo was holding in a chuckle, but refrained from expressing himself fully. You had narrowed your eyes, and thought about calling him out on it, but ultimately decided against it. Instead you motion your head to Sam and Bucky acknowledging their ridiculousness. Zemo just dismissed them with a, 'What did you expect?' type of look.

Finally you had enough of the two knuckle-heads on the other side of the kitchen and decided to intervene on their behalf otherwise they would never accomplish anything today.

"You guys planning on coming to a conclusion any time soon, or should I start selling tickets to this show?"

James stopped his rant and turned to you, "He started it," pointing his finger at Sam. "Sam just doesn't want to admit that my prospective places have added value that his don't."

"Now wait, that's not entirely true Bucky. I just think -," Sam started in again, but you had cut him off before he could finish.

"For the love of - how old are you two? It amazes me Steve got as much done as he did with you two around," you shook your head in feigned disbelief.

You might have felt bad about your slight outburst, but it was absolutely worth it to witness the sheepish expressions on both Sam and Bucky's faces. You wished you had snapped a picture. Definitely would have made it your new lock screen on your phone.

"If it's okay, I'd actually like to offer a third option," you said, motioning them over with a flourish wave of your hands.

As Sam and Bucky moved over to you, you shifted your eyeline to Zemo, "You too Zemo. Let's get your opinion on this as well since you are a resident to the area and more familiar with its surroundings than we are."

Zemo rose from his place and came to rest at your side, hovering, but not in a suffocating manner.

Even though Zemo had kept a reasonable amount of distance between you, Bucky seemed to show some displeasure as you saw him scoot him a bit out of the way as he tried to put some distance between the two of you.

You bit back a comment in favor of going over what you had discovered and turned to Sam, "I know we want to locate Karli as quickly as possible, but there are too many variables to account for when scouting buildings that they could be hiding out in. I propose we search in hidden pathways that could quickly get the Flag-Smashers in and out of different parts of the city without being readily detected."

"Alright, that does make sense, so what are you suggesting?" Sam tilted his head in agreement before gesturing for you to continue.

"Take a look at this map," you swipe your hand up the computer screen to show a holographic image of an underground rail system.

"Those look like the old track lines from a railway project that was never completed. If I remember correctly, the government abandoned the project when they ran out of money. Most of the tunnels were built, but never quite finished," Zemo interjected.

"Exactly," you turned to him beaming.

You moved your hands animatedly as you were excited by this prospect, "These tunnels travel throughout the entire city. Karli and the rest of the Flag-Smashers can easily maneuver where they need to with these routes. If I were to put money on it, I'd bet you could find their insignias left on the walls of the tunnels below as a potential guide that could -"

"That could lead us straight to their hideout," Zemo finished, smiling with what could be described as something akin to pride, clearly impressed with the astute observation you made.

"I see where you're going with this. You know, you might be onto something. Especially with our truncated time table," Sam chimed in. "Bucky? What do you think?"

You turned your chair around so you could face the three of them fully.

"Yeah, I agree. I think there's a legitimate chance we could find some clues at the very least," Bucky replied, leaning in over your left shoulder to get a closer look at the image.

Memorizing it most likely.

"If I may suggest, here?" Zemo said, pointing to a location not far from them.

You saw Sam and Bucky turn to each and nod in agreement of the starting point.

"That's good. It's also close to one of the last places we spotted Karli, so it makes sense to check it out first before branching off somewhere deeper," Sam assented.

You turn back around and start typing on the keyboard. A few moments later a ping erupted from everyone's phone.

"I sent the map to all of us, so we each have a copy," you stated.

You closed the laptop and hopped off the chair you had been sitting in, packing your stuff up into your backpack off to the side.

"Whoa. Whoa. What are you doing?" Bucky said, placing his vibranium arm on your shoulder to pause your movements.

"Getting ready to go?" you questioned slowly, as if your actions weren't obvious.

"You're not coming with us," James stated sternly.

You turned to look at Sam.

"Listen, Bucky's right," Sam answered. You saw him hold his hands up in the air and shrug before placing a hand on your shoulder before continuing, "I know, it's a shocker, having Buck and I agree on something - but when it comes to your safety, we both feel the same."

You chewed on your inner cheek, knowing this was going to most likely be a losing battle. You pursed your lips, closed your eyes slowly, and sighed before lolling your head to the side in defeat.

Sam grinned knowing he won and dropped his hand from your shoulder, as he left the kitchen to go get his gear.

Bucky came up from behind you and gave you a quick hug and kiss on the head.

"Thank you," James murmured before moving to the door.

"You can't fault them for caring," Zemo said, voice carrying softly through the air.

You pivoted around to where Zemo was, watching him adjust his holsters and making a move for his coat.

"I know," you begrudgingly admit.

Zemo put on his coat and walked over to stand in front of you.

"It may not be completely dangerous, but there's always a chance, and it's not one your friends are willing to take with you," Zemo stated.

You drop your head slightly to stare at the floor. He was right. Sam and Bucky just wanted to look out for you, but that doesn't mean you couldn't be helpful down there. You do know some self defense. You spent 10 years around Steve and various Avengers over time, it's not like you weren't going to pick anything up.

"Zemo let's go," Sam said briskly, as he walked past them to meet Bucky at the front door.

You lifted your head up and saw Zemo give a curt nod to Sam before focusing his attention back on you.

Zemo started to walk by you, but paused to lean into, grabbing your wrist to gently rub his thumb over your pulse point and whisper, "And neither am I."

With that, he abruptly walked off to join Sam and James.

Your wrist was tingling with sensation even after Zemo had left your side.

Before they all left, you managed lean over the island to strangle out, "Please play nice with each other and come back in one piece!"

You could hear the huffs of laughter as they left and the door clicked shut behind them.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[danniburgh]

Rushingly Bittersweet, (Javier Peña x f!reader) part 1.

Pairing: Javier Peña x ofc//f!reader with name.

Summary: After the fall of Escobar everything starts happening way too fast for Javier; his raise, his new office, his new team, the Cali cartel's operation, the sudden arrival of a new agent that was transferred to his team for no apparent reason, the way he was falling in love with her almost unintentionally.

And he couldn't seem to stop any of that.

Word count: +2.1k

Series warnings: talks and mentions of misogyny and sexism, cursing, smoking, drinking, eventual sex, cartel shit, watch me make some shit up to fit reader inside the narrative, guns, dea shit, feels, javier actually being a little bit more introspective, just basically me inserting reader into the third season

Chapter warnings: depictions of misogyny and some cursing

A/N: This chapter is set in season three, episode one. // this has been simmering in the back of my head for way too long, i even made a post about it just trying to ease the weight of my thoughts but my mind keeps racing with more things about this exact story, so here goes nothing. THIS GOES ALONG THE CANON OF THE THIRD SEASON kinda (so yeah, spoilers if you haven’t watched it yet), i actually had to watch it to write this because in the end, you’re a fucking DEA agent baby (also please keep in mind that english is not my native language, im really trying for this to be GOOD) 

Read on ao3 // fic index // Masterlist // fic playlist

comments and reblogs are eternally appreciated 💓 let me know if you wanna be tagged

// next→

You knew you chose a difficult job, hell, a difficult career, you knew you had to prove yourself, your worth and your abilities countless times, at this point it wasn’t even that much of a surprise anymore. Every time you encountered another man in the office or in the field, you had to spend an incredible amount of time first proving you were capable and you knew what you were doing before even getting to work.

Yet you got comfortable in your previous destination, you had a team, you had people to trust and trusted you back, they knew you were more than capable, you didn’t have to tell them to listen to you or your ideas, you didn’t have to ask for anyone’s approval. You were just another agent.

But now you had to do it all over again.

“Shit” you growled, trying to unwrinkle your blazer with one hand, the flight down to Colombia hadn’t been at all gentle to you and you were tired and cold. Your feet were sore, your back was killing you, you were fighting the desire to get rid of your suit skirt and run to put some pants on, everybody was lying when they said Colombia was a hot place, the air was chilly, and the dress suit you were wearing barely provided any meaningful heat, and the fact that nobody went to pick you up at the airport made you even more frustrated. You were still pulling around your suitcase because apparently the embassy is such a fucking mess that not even one person told you where you were going to live yet. 

You showed your badge to the guards at the doors and they let you in without much of a look. You walked right through the lobby into the elevator, sighing in relief. Thanks America and its air conditioned buildings.

The elevator doors opened and you walked straight inside of the DEA offices, they were small, cramped and dark, great, just how you liked your work spaces.

“Hi” you said, approaching the small front desk, the receptionist looked up at you and smiled, it was the first smile you saw in a while and that made you feel a little less frustrated, you pulled out the badge again and showed it to her “can you please direct me to the office of Javier Peña?” you asked.

The girl tilted her head to the left in confusion.

“Are you agent Martin?” she said with her thick american accent, you put the badge again in the pocket of your dress pants and nodded to her.

“Yes, is he– is he expecting me?” 

“Not really, but agent Feistl is,” she said, pointing to a cornered desk almost in the back where a blond man was sitting, he looked up at the sound of his name and you sighed again.

“Oh, yeah, I talked to him on the phone, thank you,” you said, smiling a bit back to her while you walked around the unoccupied desks in the front of the office “Feistl” you said his name once you reached his desk, stretching out your hand to shake his “agent Martín” you said “it’s nice to meet you” he looked at you, frowning, but took your hand nonetheless and shook it.

“Chris Feistl” he said, a little taken aback and another man approached both of you “this is my partner, Daniel Van Ness” the larger man gave you a single nod and you shook his hand again.

“You’re agent Martin?” Van Ness said.

Here we go again.

“My last name is Martín, first name Florencia” you said, accentuating the í in your last name, inhaling the tension around and making it your own, yet another time “I’m guessing you were expecting a man?” you dropped, they looked at each other “don’t worry, it happens everytime” you finished with a small grin.

They remained silent, looking at you, yet another time you let them, although for a single moment you actually wondered if there was something wrong with the way you looked; you gave a glance to yourself on the elevator walls on your way up and aside from your hair being close to look like a mess you were ok, you take another second to try to analyze the men in front of you, the way they were standing, the expression on their faces, they were shocked that was for sure, but also… relieved? and somehow… happy?.

“Is there anywhere I can put this?” you asked, glancing at the suitcase.

“You came here all the way from the airport?” Feistl asked, you nodded.

“Yeah, no one showed up so I just grabbed a cab” Van Ness snorted and you looked at him. He didn’t say anything, “where’s my desk?” you asked again, starting to feel more frustrated but also a bit amused when again they didn’t say a thing, “you did get the memo that you’d be getting a new person today, right?” you questioned in a huff, a bit louder, looking at them in utter disbelief. Fucking embassy, fucking DEA.

“Is agent Martin here?” you heard your name being called from behind you, the men in front of you just widened their eyes and looked at you. 

“That would be me” you announced, turning around, seeing a tall, tanned skin, sweaty man approaching you, “and you must be Javier Peña” you said, allowing yourself to be more assured, stretching your hand again.

“You are agent Martin” he said, making it sound half like a question, half an assertion, looking at you up and down, he put his hands on his hips, not bothering to take your hand.

“Florencia Martín, yes sir” you dropped down your hand and pronounced your last name again, trying to get american people to pronounce your name was hard, and you hoped at least Javier Peña would understand it, yet he said it wrong. He just stood there and you glanced at him discreetly, he, differently from the men behind you, was a walking ball of frustration, you sympathized and tried to read his posture. He was trying to be cocky but his try died in his eyes, he was shocked, surprised and not at all entertained.

“No wonder why I couldn’t find you in the airport” he growled.

“You were also expecting a man” you affirmed, this time, a small hint of disappointment grew inside your stomach “don’t worry, it happens all the time” you repeated roughly. You turned around to your new partners, not caring and ignoring the look your new boss was giving you “my desk?”

Van Ness pointed a small cubicle behind his and Feislt’s big desks, you suppressed a sigh and walked towards the space, still pulling your fucking suitcase, feeling the looks of three men in your back. You were used to this, you had done it countless times, and you knew you weren’t the only woman that has gone through this. But after spending the time you spent in one single place, with the same people, doing the same thing, after having an amazing partner that had believed in you since the day you almost punched the shit out of him on the academy, after having your own office to work with him, after having faced many masculine faces disapproving you being in the same rooms as them while chasing bad guys, after receiving thousands of condescending looks when you said anything, and yet being capable of raise everybody’s expectations, starting it all over again not only sounded hard, it also sounded exhausting.

Javier couldn’t believe his fucking luck when he looked at you. He certainly was expecting a man, Washington only told him so much and he assumed what everyone did when they heard your last name, in the end it was a masculine name. For some reason he felt guilty when you told him you always get that reaction.

He tried to examine you, ever the analyzer, but he got nothing, not from the way you were still standing in front of the ridiculously small cubicle, tapping your foot against the carpeted floor, or the way you kept putting a thin strand of hair behind your ear and it kept falling in front of your right cheekbone, nothing from the way you reached for the manila folder that was waiting to be picked up or the way your fingers moved around the pages. You seemed unreadable to him and he didn’t like that. Not one bit.

You turned around when you felt his stare, he was still just standing there, looking at you.

“Is this really everything I have to be briefed on?” you questioned him lifting the folder in your left hand. He nodded and turned to the right to walk to his office “well fuck that” you murmured under your breath. You heard Van Ness snorting again and looked at him giving you a small smile, maybe you didn’t say that as quietly as you wanted, you gave him half a grin and he shook his head.

You took off your blazer and sat on the incredibly uncomfortable chair.

“Shit” you whispered again.

“Fuck” Javier said under his breath, loosening his tie and crashing into his chair. He rubbed his eyes with the ball of his hands and sighed. What the fuck did the people at Washington think. He was after a whole fucking cartel, he didn’t have his trusted partner this time, he was alone and he had to lead a team to do that, he had just lost two agents after they were stupid and reckless going around Cali and they dared to send down one random chick in some sort of replacement that for some reason seemed just so small and frail to him.

He was pretty sure you weren’t due to the fact that you were a DEA agent, but when he looked at you the only thing he could notice was the way your eyes were dimmed, maybe due to the fluorescent lights or the fact that you had flown who-knows how many hours to be there, or the way your hands seemed way too delicate to even handle a gun, or how your body looked breakable to the touch. 

He didn’t like the way his mind was forming his thoughts about you, it wasn’t right to think that way of a woman- no, a person- no, an agent he had just met, he just knew it was the macho part in him that saw you that way. He knew that if Washington had sent you all the way down to a god forsaken country fighting an unfair war, you had to be capable to endure it.

Javier scratched his stubble and reached for the thinest folder he had on his desk, it was your file. He grinned when he opened it, unbelieving of the almost non existent amount of information it had about you. It did have your full name, though, so, mistaking you for a guy was indeed his fault, just because he didn’t read the file before. 

He browsed through the last locations you had been sent to and raised his eyebrows when he saw the amount of time you’d spent in the last place. No wonder why you were being so reluctant about everything you saw and how you were being treated. He remembered how he felt when he was a newcomer and he remembered what he had to go through with Steve when he first came to the country, it was awful, and even without the language barrier, as your file said you did speak spanish, he assumed you must feel like an outcast. It was never easy, arriving at a place where everything seemed like it belonged there but you.

Javier closed the file and threw it back to the pile of manila folders in front of him. He did have his doubts about you, and surely he was wondering why he had only been sent that joke of a file and nothing else, and he didn’t want to make your stay in Colombia or at the embassy a living hell, but he did want to see what you were able to do, he couldn’t wait for you to show him what you had in you.

That last thought sent him for a bit through a deliciously nasty tangent, and he had to bring himself back to the initial train of thought: you. 

You were now his. No– you were now in his team. He was now your boss. He couldn’t think of you in any other way even if sometimes it couldn’t be avoided.

Javier rubbed his lower lip with his thumb, wondering what were you working on before arriving, trying to think what was happening in México that made you stay that long.

And a question was forming in his head… What the hell did you do to be sent to Colombia?

// next→

[kayzume]

Pairing: Bokuto x Reader

Genre: a tiny, tiny bit of angst, but mostly fluff:>

wc: 4.1k, who knew i can pull of something this long😃

Note: This fic is my gift to @jayeray for our server secret santa, Happy Holidays to you I hope you had a great Christmas and I hope we get to talk more (timezone is sht, I must be asleep when yer online🥲)I hope this piece makes you smile:>. Also sorry for shamelessly asking three people to beta this bec im not sure about how it turned out, also bec my grammar is sht(T ^ T)—also lemme thank the internet by helping me with them vows, only edited some parts of it to fit the story better..

Beta: @thirstyforthem2dmen , @india-katsuki , @prismaintales kithes to all of u

Back to Masterlist

Life is filled with fluttering moments, these events mark something within us that would either make us...or break us. You guessed that most of your story has made you what you are today. You were walking in the park hand in hand with Koutaro and your daughter, playing with his hair while she sat on his shoulders.

“Momma can I ask something?” your daughter spoke breaking silence.

“What is it baby?” you responded

“How’d you meet dad?” she asked cocking her head to the side, much like her father when he’s curious. You smiled at her,

“Well…”

￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣

‘The Meeting’

“Hey, Hey” you ignored whatever that was and whoever was making those annoying calls. Your face remained buried on the textbook required for your literature elective. Lost in your own thoughts and the flow of music through your earbuds, you missed the exasperated sigh that left the lips of the one and only Bokuto Kutaro, star player of the volleyball team.

“Hey miss!” tap tap the loud tapping burst your train of thoughts pulling one of your buds out, you glared at the man in front of you.

“What? You got nothing better to do buddy?!” you spat in utter annoyance.

“You’re in my seat” he replied grimly, lowkey telling you to scoot over. You, in return, refused to leave your spot; checking every nook and cranny to try and look for names or scribblings.

“Doesn’t have your name on it, you can’t stake a claim and this is school property” you argue pettily. He looked at you in disbelief.

“B-but Akaashi sits right here” he whispered, albeit to himself. You stifled a scoff, he looked so upset at the fact that he can’t sit beside this ‘Akaashi’ person. You cleared your throat and offered him the other side of your spot, which is free.

“Why don’t you sit here instead, you’d still be near your friend. I wouldn’t hinder any chatter that you decide to make” is what you told him. There’s no particular reason as to why you wouldn’t move instead, just that your pride isn’t letting you, besides his reactions are very much worth the trouble. The classroom doors creaked open, students pouring in and occupying the seats. A man with dark hair approached you, or rather the seat beside you. He eyed the person you were conversing with just now. He didn’t utter a word and took his seat beside you. A few minutes later the bells started ringing signaling the start of lectures, your professor walked in clutching big old dusty books of classic literature, your not so favorite. The only reason you were even taking this class is for the extra credits, that you most definitely do not need. You were bored and needed a new source of entertainment. For normal students this must seem ridiculous, because studying isn’t counted as a source of fun. Take note ‘normal’ you were far from normal. You’re friendless, you were having a hard time mingling with others your age. It's not that you were getting bullied, it's just you and your foreboding trust issues. You hated the feeling of betrayal and refused to remember what it was like, so as a coping mechanism you refused to make friends, or even open up to anyone.

Bokuto was upset that he didn’t get to sit beside Akaashi, he was a year ahead but the volleyball coaches as much as they hate to prevent him from playing official games, he was failing english literature and needed to keep up his grades in order to enter the court again. Easier said than done, his literature class held him back from moving further. His professor sponsored his letter so that he will only be held back by one subject and not the whole year, all he had to do now is pass the semester with flying colors, and so far he was having a hard time. That’s the reason he needed to sit near Akaashi so the later can help him with his studies, then this woman came out of nowhere and taking his seat is not helping the least bit and he hates it.

“L/N-san we would like to request your assistance” your professor spoke in a low voice. Assistance in what matter, it seems important that it looks almost impossible to refuse.

“I’d be glad to lend a hand, but with what, sensei you rarely ask for favors it feels new” you replied

“Please tutor Bokuto Kotarou, he’s an oncoming senior but has been held back by this subject. If he fails one more time he’d have to repeat the whole year, and this might also put a bad name for his sports scholarship” She explained, you looked at the profile of the student you need to tutor, it was him, the guy with condiments hair.

￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣

“Condiments hair?” your daughter asked in confusion

“Mom was so mean right?? She called dad condiments, do I look like a bottle of ketchup baby?” Koutaro countered on your daughter with faux pity.

“Oh please, your hair is literally salt and pepper, and yeah you looked like a bottle of ketchup when you blush” you chuckled responding to them.

￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣

‘The Courtship’

It’s been five months since you started teaching Kotarou, and the two of you were past the last name formalities. He was still the same as when you first met, loud and annoying. But you’d never tell him that, because as you’ve observed he has times where he just suddenly drops his attitude and becomes sort of gloomy head in the clouds type of persona. It was confusing and downright weird.

You were at the library looking for articles that can support your paper. It was 6pm, you were hungry and sleepy from studying the whole day, and you were starting to get bored. But since your paperwork is nowhere near done you just couldn't leave.

You heaved a deep sigh and rubbed your now strained eyes, feeling the drowsiness trying to pull you into passing out.

BAM.

You suddenly jolted in your seat, you looked at your side where the loud thump came from. Koutaro was pulling the seat beside you.

“What are you doing here? Don’t you have practice” you asked him, he rarely— almost never skips his volleyball practices.

He sat down properly and jingled a bag in your face.“I had a feeling you’d be hungry by now, I heard from Akaashi that you’re pulling all nighters for your class paper, besides we didn't have session today too, and yes, I have practice today” He replied so calmly it weirded you out a bit.

“Then what—” you started asking again when he rudely pressed his pointing finger at your lips. You were so tempted to bite him.

“I ditched, because of our session” he told you, “and also because I want to bring you some food” he continued.

“Kou, we don’t have sessions during Fridays. You specifically asked me to skip tutoring you on Fridays because you said you want to spend this day hanging out with your friends” you replied to his nonsense. You’re grateful that he thought of you and brought you food, but also you didn’t want to take away his personal time with his friends.

“Uhh y/n, you are my friend too so technically I’m still hanging out and spending my time wisely” he told you while opening a bag of pretzels for the two of you to share. You were thankful you picked the most isolated wing of the library to study or else you two would’ve been kicked out from munching loudly.

You blushed a shade of pink not because he said he sees you as a friend, your cherry blossom cheeks represent the embarrassment and lowkey disappointment that you felt knowing that a friend is all that you will be to him.

“I meant special. You’re a very special friend y/n, and that I hope you’ll allow me to offer you more than a special friendship…” he trailed off looking deeply in the depths of your pooling eyes. You can’t help but feel overwhelmed at the butterflies that started storming from within you. If you were a cherry blossom before, you’d definitely be a red rose now.

“Whatever do you mean by that?” you asked him sheepishly, lowering your head to shield him from seeing you in such an unsightly state. You fiddled with your hands whilst waiting for him to give you an answer.

“Y/n, C-can I court you?” He replied with a sweet smile.

‘The Answer’

It’s been a couple of months since Bokuto’s confession and up to this day you still feel giddy about it. Who would’ve thought that you’ll attract someone the complete opposite of you.

Whenever he visits your dorm or whenever you accompany each other somewhere he doesn’t fail to do something sweet to show his affection towards you. You were having mixed feelings whether to give him a chance or not. ‘Relationships are scary’ you thought, but the idea of him doing those sweet things for others gives a painful churn within you. He invited you to attend a game of his and cheer for him.

“Cheers for goodluck” is what he said the last time you met, which was the day before. You entered the gym, the bright lights blinding your sight. Lightly covering up you headed for the bleachers.

The place was already packed from students and other volleyball patrons. You see some free seats, only to be disappointed when they were actually reserved, you turn to leave for a new place when,

“Y/n!! where are you going? Your seat is right here!!” you craned your neck to where the voice came from only to see Koutaro waving at you. He walked to where you were.

“Sit here and cheer for me as loud as you can” he told cracking a beautiful smile. He wasn’t even doing anything special but you could feel the hotness creeping it’s way from your neck to your cheeks.

“O-okay, do your best out there” without even thinking your body moved on its own to give him a peck on his cheeks. His face contorted in surprise, you thought you did something wrong that it made you a little bit conscious, as you we’re pulling away he held your hand and you stared at his blushing face.

“Do it again” he almost sounds commanding if not for his hands slightly shaking in yours

“W-what...I’m sorry my body moved on it’s own” you started,

“Do it again...to double the luck” is what his reply was, you looked down feeling the loud thumping of your heart in your chest you quickly gave his other cheek a peck.

“G-go now, I think the game is about to start” you shoo him away as you try to calm yourself down. You can’t believe you kissed someone. And in public too. For other people it may not be a big thing but for you, that kiss felt special.

(Game goes, 4th Set)

They were at match point and as the game goes, Koutaro suddenly went on his ‘emo mode’, he was dumbfounded just standing there. You looked worried, there was no way they’re going to lose.

“Just one more point” you whispered to yourself, the ball was set and it looks like Koutaro will go for a shot, he still looked out of it. He needs to get out of his slump. An idea came to mind, it was so unlike you to do something like that but you closed your eyes and just goes for it.

“Take that shot and win!!” you screamed the loudest that you can. You saw him stiffen and slowly he ran and jumped, he spiked the ball so hard it bounced with a hard thud, you almost thought it left a mark on the floor. You heard the loud cheers and a loud buzz, signaling that the game comes to a close.

You sighed in relief to see that your little stunt helped him. You were about to go to and congratulate him when he meets you somewhere in the middle.

“Did I do great y/n-chan?” he asked, his eyes sparkling in anticipation almost as if waiting for a praise.

“You did absolutely great, I had fun watching you,I’m sorry I barely cheered loud, I’m not used to public gatherings like this” you shook your head in embarrassment

“Thank you for cheering me on, uhh y/n since we won, don’t you think it’s fitting that i get a gift from you” he told you. You were a bit puzzled, you didn’t get him anything.

“I- I didn’t get you anythi—” you started only to be cut off by him asking,

“Can I please date you now?”

You smiled at him, “Yea sure”

￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣

“I don’t get it, what was the gift that you gave him, if you didn’t buy him one” she asked again tilting her head

“I gave him my answer” you only smiled on her more evident confusion

￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣

‘The Veil and The Bow’

“Calm down Bokuto-san, everything is perfect” Akaashi told Bokuto as they waited for the large wooden doors to open. It has been 5 years since the two of you started going out and 6 months since he proposed. When you said ‘yes’ to his impromptu proposal he couldn’t believe his ears, at first he was worried and ready to pass it off as a joke but then…

“LET'S GO FOR A DRIVE!!” Koutaro screamed out of nowhere, you gave him a look. Raising an eyebrow in confusion you asked,

“Right now?” he must be joking you thought

“Why not?” he asked dumbly, cocking his head to the side

“Uhh..Kou, it’s 11pm.” you told him nonchalantly, you continued filing on your laptop when you felt him tug at your shirt.

“What?” you asked him without looking, he tugged again. This time as you take on his face, he bit his pouty lips and looked at you straight in the eyes as if begging.

“Really? Where are we even going?” you asked him again whilst standing up and slipping on your warmer.

He looked so excited he rushed to get his keys when he came back to you. He engulfed you in a big hug, snuggling his face in the crook of your neck.

He let out a small “Thank you”

Feeling his hot breath tickling your neck, you gently pushed him off.

“Are we just gonna stand and hug here?” you jabbed him jokingly as if to hide your reddening cheeks. He held your hand and guided you to his awaiting car. You’ve been driving for quite a while, just seeing where the night takes the two of you.

It took you the beach

You walked on the cold sand hand in hand. It was dark and chilly, you shuddered and Koutaro held you close to him, you heard him squeak,

“What was that? Did you say something?” you asked him just to make sure.

“We’re here” he announced, you looked at your surroundings only to see a gazebo all set up with candles, a picnic blanket and plush pillows. You looked at Koutaro stunned

“T-this is all planned?” you asked him stunned at the effort he pulled. No wonder he badly wants to go. You felt warm through the cold on how sweet he was

“You looked so stressed with work I thought that a date will cheer you up even a little” he told you as he fiddled with his hands, even though he was slightly looking down you can clearly see his reddish ears. You couldn’t contain yourself so you tiptoed and kissed him.

“Thank you Kou, having you around is already calming to me, but you did all this too, you’re so sweet, i love you you’re the best thing I could ever ask for” you told him while caressing his cheeks.

He moved his hands to engulf yours, he slowly pushed your hands of to his mouth, giving your palms a peck.

“No, thank you y/n for giving me a chance to be with someone like you,” he told you as he stared at you lovingly.

The night goes by and the two of you ate, laughed, and told each other stories. You two were lying quietly staring at the stars glittering in the night sky.

Sigh.

You looked at Koutaro after he heaved that deep sigh.

“Hey, something wrong” you nudged him a little.

“Nothing...it’s just that I want us to stay like this forever, happy and contented, say y/n, can I ask you something?” he replied, you were curious as to what he was going to ask it seems like a big deal to him.

“Hmm?” you hummed in response

“Y/n...will you stay with me for as long as you can..i mean forever..i mean as long as we can, Can we stay with each other” he asked you in almost a whisper

“Are you—” you were about to ask when he looked at you in all seriousness.

“Y/n L/n, will you marry me?” you can’t keep the surprise in your face, you blushed deeply, it was weird for him to be this serious, but you’re not gonna lie you like this side of him too, you stared at him for a hot minute and cracked your sweetest smile.

“I thought you’d never ask”

The big doors cracked open, the music flowing, Bokuto stared as you walk to where he was, at the altar, waiting.

As the wedding goes on, it was finally time to say your vows, you looked at Koutaro who is now holding a microphone on his left hand and his right gripping into yours,

“Since the day I met you, I knew you were a special woman. And even though I suck at Literature,it will forever be my favorite subject that I ever enrolled in. From that day forward that I met you in that god forsaken class, I became a true believer that you do not find true love, but true love finds you.

You, more than anyone else, know my insecurities and weaknesses and still never make me feel inadequate. You have always loved me without reservations. You praise me in a way I never thought was possible and because of you, I am the best man I can be.

I cannot promise I will always be the perfect husband, but I promise to love you through the good times and bad. To choose our love every single day. I promise to always fight with you and for you, never against you. I promise to always be your biggest fan, confidant and best friend. I promise to remember we are not perfect—only perfect for each other. I promise to love you without hesitation or boundaries from this day forward, for the rest of my life.

Thank you for being the woman of my dreams and the best partner I could ever ask for. Thank you for being the pillar that my wacky soul has always needed and I will forever be your wings. Everything in me recognizes your heart as my home and your arms, my shelter.

You are my better half and very best friend. I will love you, honor you, respect and cherish you in sickness and health, through sorrows and success, for all the days of my life. I am forever yours."

You bit your lip to calm yourself from sobbing into his heartfelt words. You felt his love from every single thing that he spewed out. You were thankful to where you are now, you were thankful to god that gave you a man like Bokuto Koutaro to love you. As you dab away the heavy tears on your face and as clear your throat you tell him your vows in return.

“I want so badly to be able to explain all the love I have for you. Not the love of butterflies and stomach knots—but more the blurring of self and the entanglement with another soul. Love is a word that is much too soft and used far too often to ever describe the fierce, infinite and blazing passion that I have in my heart for you. You are a million dreams and a million prayers of a little girl come true. You are kind. You are silly. You are intelligent—in your own way. Your laugh is contagious and you can put away an entire ice cream cake in one sitting like nobody else can. You acknowledge my strengths and accept my faults. You make me want to be a better person every day. I take you as you are now, tomorrow and for eternity to come, to be my husband.

Even when the day comes that we're old and gray, I promise to always see you with the same eyes and the same heart that I see you with at this exact moment. So today, I vow to honor you and respect you, support you and encourage you. I promise to dream with you, celebrate with you, and walk beside you through whatever life brings. I vow to laugh with you and comfort you during times of joy and times of sorrow. I promise to always pursue you, to fight for you, and love you unconditionally and wholeheartedly for the rest of my life. You are my best friend and I'm the luckiest person on Earth to call you mine."

As you finished your vows you couldn’t help the cracking of your voice, you felt hot tears flow from your eyes, you looked at him as he wipes all of them away.

“Shhh..don’t cry, everyone might get the wrong idea” Koutaro told you as he dabbed on your face. You only chuckled at him, he’s far too precious and you’re lucky to be able to witness it.

“You’re the one getting the wrong idea Kou, these are happy tears. Finally we’re binded forever and always.” you smiled at him as the priest continues on the ceremony

“Forever and always” he whispered back at you as the two of you we’re slipping on your wedding rings.

The priest announced “I pronounce you man and wife, may you live long and build a happy life together.”

He kissed you as the cheers filled the room.

‘The Life’

“Kou!! Go and chase Kaori!!” you instructed your husband to follow your daughter as she ran around away from you. She’s so much like her father, in personality and in looks. You had her 3years ago, and now you would’ve chased her yourself if not for your heavy bulging stomach. You were 7 months in your second pregnancy and everything was hard to do. Thank god for Koutaro, even though he was busy because of his job as a professional athlete he always make sure to make time for you, he always comes home early and makes sure throughout the day that you’re feeling fine. At times he will bring your daughter along to work to lessen the things that you have to think about for the day.

Today was special, he took a day off to take the threeof you to the park. You were tired from playing with the two of them the whole day. So you decided that the three of you should rest a bit, but your child has other plans of her own as soon as you situated yourself on a bench she hopped off and ran. That was why you asked your husband to chase her off to bring her back. The two of them was now in your line of sight, you didn’t want to scold your daughter but, she was extremely hyper and you didn’t want her to trip and fall then hurt herself.

“Bokuto Kaori, you do not just go and run away, against mom’s request, what if you hurt yourself?” you asked her as gentle as you can, even so she still whimpered at you scolding her. She looked at you with big teary eyes.

“I’m so sowwy momma, I only went to go pick these flowers for you” she answered you as she took out three wildflowers from her back, you cooed at how sweet she was. You waved at her to come close and she did, you engulfed her in a loving embrace kissing her temples lightly,

“Aww thank you baby,” you looked up to see Koutaro surprisingly quiet. He was staring at the two of you, he was filled with love and he was grateful for the family you two built together.

“Can I join that hug?” he asked, you opened your arms as he rushed into them almost crushing your daughter in between. The three of you laughed while coddled like that. You looked up at the sky, thankfully smiling.

Gen Taglist open: @kitayawa @aruhappy

[a-pretty-nerd]

Self Indulgent Shigaraki Nonsense Part 2!

Tomura Shigaraki x pregnant!reader headcannons

Lmao I'm obsessed with this idea, I'm having so much fun with it. I love it, and I hope you guys like it too!

Warnings: Pregnancy and pregnancy related issues.

(I couldn't find the original artist for this, but just know that someone out there is a very talented artist lol)

After the initial reaction,

Shigaraki doesn't want to take you back home to the others. He doesn't want anyone to know.

He still wants you to get an abortion. It makes you feel, unwanted. The more he mentions it, the more it hurts you.

You knew he wouldn't be happy or excited about this, but neither were you. This just, hurt.

He stayed with you a few more nights in the hotel. He didn't want to leave your side, apart of him was afraid you'd still run. That you'd choose the baby over him. The other part, wanted desperately to protect you. To keep you safe and to him, an abortion would.

It would leave you free and untethered to him. He knew, objectivley, you shouldn't be with him. And he knew that if you ever needed to, in order to keep yourself safe, he would understand. But the idea of losing you made him unreasonably upset. What felt like sadness would soon turn to rage. He just, didn't want to lose you. He thought it was selfish of him to think that way, but he couldn't help it. It tore him apart from the inside out.

The years of having you around made him emotionally dependent. You cared for him in ways no one else had. He stayed up at night wondering where you had been his entire life. You felt like a missing piece of a puzzle.

He layed with you in bed one night, unable to sleep. He watched your sleeping form, the way your chest heaved up and down with every breath. His eyes ran over your body as a few fingers pulled away the covers. He eyed your belly. He felt his stomach turn as he thought about it all.

There was already so much he didn't know. He didn't really even understand how you knew you were pregnant or what stage you were at. What would a baby like his look like? Visions of a horrible monster came to mind. No matter what, it was no good. He had to convince you to get rid of it before it was too late. Before it tore you apart.

The basis for his fears were unknown, even to him. He knew thats not how things really worked, he knew his fears seemed ridiculous to you, but still. He felt guilty. He felt a sense of dread as he thought about it. It took two after all. He felt like he had condemned you. He like he had wronged or hurt you.

"This love, loves the trouble." He remembered you saying. He thought you were being foolish, blinded by your feelings to see realisticly. How could you not see? You were doomed. If the monster inside you wouldn't kill you, then it would tie you to him for forever. It'd be born into a world he hadn't solved yet, even if it could help him, it wasn't a tool. If you ever needed to leave, go off and be safe somewhere else, you couldn't. It would always tie you to him. It made him feel sick. You would never have the freedom he wanted for you.

You stirred in your sleep, your eyes slowly coming open before you turned to look up at him. He looked down at you, warm tears falling down an emotionless face. He was so lost in thought, he didn't realize he was crying.

"Uh, Tomura? Whats wrong? You're crying." You sat up and started to wipe the tears away from his cheeks before he wrenched himself from your grasp. He sat on the side of the bed, hunched over, before he got up to use the bathroom.

You sat there in wonder as you laid back down. He was no doubt thinking about the baby again. Baby. The word seemed foreign to even think about. A baby. Lost in thought, Shigaraki came back into the room. The light from the bathroom masking his silhouette in the door frame.

"You have to get rid of it." He mumbled.

"We've been over this before, I'm fine. Nothing bad is going to happen. Women have babies all the time, I promise-"

"No...you don't understand. You can't do this to yourself." He shuffled forward to the bed.

"What?"

"Think about it this way, you'll be rendered useless to the league. You and I were dangerous enough, but now,"

"Well damn, I didn't realize I'm such a fucking burden."

"THAT'S NOT-" He bit his tongue. Yelling at you or showing his anger never solved anything, it only made things worse. "You're not a burden. You're in danger. As a villian you run so many risks but the moment you got busy with me, you made yourself vulnerable. You made me, vulnerable. Adding a third into this, makes not only us more vulnerable but them as well. If the heroes knew we were involved with one another the way we are, they'd take advantage. They'd threaten you, they'd kill you if they got the chance."

"Then we won't give them that chance." You uttered. He balled his fists and turned away, holding his head down.

"It's not that simple. You don't understand."

"I understand just fine, Tomura. You don't think I haven't thought about all the ways this could go wrong? Tomura, you're all I have. You are my family regardless of a third party, you're my best friend and I love you with everything I am."

"This isn't about me. I can't promise you anything, I can barley keep you safe now. If you choose this, I can't do anything for you. I can't promise your safety or comfort. And especially not happiness." You crawled along the bed in a hurry before reaching out to grab ahold of his wrists. He froze.

"You make me happy." You told him. When he didn't move you spoke again. "You make me happy. All I want is you, all I want is to love you and be loved by you. I'm not asking for safety or comfort, I lost those a long time ago. I'm just asking for you." He stayed silent for a while, not moving or saying a word. The only sound in the room being his heavy breathing. "Tomura?"

"I feel torn." He rasped.

"Torn between what? Your war and me? You don't have to choose."

"No. Not that." He pulled his hand away from your grasp. "You would still choose me, choose me to be a father. Knowing what you know." You pasued and thought for a moment. He watched you.

"I didn't mean for this to happen. I didn't mean to put you in such a difficult position. But I know you. I know how kind you can be. I know you're whole goal is to create a better world for people, to free humanity. I know the pain you struggle with and the issues you face. But there is no other soul I'd choose over you."

"You're so foolish." He sighed, crumbling as he sat down on the bed. You wrapped an arm around his shoulders and rested your forehead against the side of his. "How could a woman so smart, be so ridiculous?" He rested a palm on your knee.

"Love does that sometimes, doesn't it?" You spoke softly.

"It does. It makes me a fool." He turned his head to press his forehead against yours in a sweet gesture.

"For the record, I think you'd make a fine parent." He scoffed at you.

"I doubt I will." Will. Will? The word echoed in your mind.

"I guess you'll just have to wait and see." You said with a smile. Tomura leaned in and gave you a soft kiss. You leaned into it and took deep breaths as you ran your hands over his chest. He rested his palm over your hand placed on his knee.

"This isn't a game yknow. We don't get second chances here." He warned, squeezes your hand.

"I know."

"Its still early isn't it? You still have time to rethink." He told you, slowly turning and pulling you in to hold you tightly.

"I guess..." you trailed off.

"Just...if anything goes wrong...if anything happens to you..."

"I'll be fine." You reassured.

"You can't know that. How am I going to keep you safe?" He muttered to himself, tucking his face into your shoulder.

"I'll be more careful, I promise. And I'll stay away from dangerous missions, and I'll stay away from heroes from now on, alright?" You told him, rubbing your hands up and down his back.

"Just....think it over...please..." He begged.

"Alright...I'll think it over..." You made no promises. With that, Shigaraki agreed to bring you home. Not saying a word to anyone about your whereabouts. Toga asked you privately about your absence, mostly to confirm that you were alright. You brushed it off, saying it was a private mission or something like that.

Toga knew more than the rest. She asked more questions, knew more details. She knew the true extent of your relationship. Being a close friend of yours, she was trusted with more information than most. Others were lucky if Shigaraki even answered questions about your relationship, declaring it was none of their buisness and to leave him alone.

You didn't tell Toga, you couldn't. It wouldn't matter if she knew or not and getting someone else mixed up in your buisness was a bad idea. Life went back to normal, you went about your buisness as usual, but soon symptoms started to become more of a hazard as the weeks passed. Certain smells like cigarette smoke and eggs would make you violently ill. Nausea and fatigue haunting you throughout the day. You'd wake up feeling sore and groggy, unable to shake the feeling. It bothered Tomura.

He'd watch you raise from the bed and shuffle off to the bathroom with a deep stare. Observing you with a dark gaze. For the most part, he kept his opinions to himself. He knew there was little he could do. His only hope was that you would see "reason". If this is how you felt now, imagine your suffering later. The more pain and frustration you experienced, the more Tomura's heart ached. He felt responsible for your pain. Unable to shake the idea that he did this to you.

"Have you given it anymore thought?" He asked you. Entirely out of the blew, and while you were trying to relax no less. You laid on the floor, pillows piled underneath your head as you browsed your phone. Your feet propped up in his lap as he played a game on the Tv. You peered out from behind your phone screen.

"I have."

"And?" He didn't change his position or attitude.

"And what?" You looked back to your screen.

"Isn't the cut off date coming up soon?"

"Sure is."

"You have to make up your mind soon." You paused and thought for a moment. You watched him play.

"I have."

"Well?"

"I still want this." You told him. He paused his game and froze.

"I don't understand..."

"Pardon?"

"I dont understand!" He shouted. His anger directed out to the Tv instead of you. He dropped the controller and let his hands hang limp as he propped his elbows on your shins. "I don't understand... Taking so many risks... because of me."

"Well, we're villians. Isn't taking risks what lifes all about?"

"I...I'm sorry..." his shoulder began to bounce. His head hanging low while he balled his fists. You sat up, realizing he had started to cry. You placed firm hands on his back to rub and comfort him. He cried, his hands coming up to cover his face and wipe away his tears. "This is all my fault..." He squeaked.

"Tomura, sweety, it's okay." You held continued to rub slow soothing circles over his back. The other on his knee in an attempt to ground him.

"I don't understand...why...why you want this...I don't get it...it makes no sense!" He sobbed. "Why, WHY!?" He clung to you, reaching out to dig his gloved fingers into your sweater in an attempt to keep you close. You held him tight, running gentle fingers through his hair. You let him cry a little longer before answering.

"You know how they say 'love makes you do crazy things?'" You started.

"That's not a reason!" He argued.

"Well, sure, but...it's true isn't it. I mean, our relationship is evidence enough, right? But besides that, when I found out, I was scared too. I'm still scared. But the more I think about it, the more I want it. It makes me smile to think about. I get butterflies and its all I can think of. It's like, I'm falling in love with you all over again." He looked up from his place tucked away in your chest. His eyes red and tired from his crying.

"But why me?" He groaned, "you could have this with anyone you wanted. Why me?"

"Because I don't want anyone else," you squeezed him tight with a smile, "I want you." You planted gentle kisses on his tear riddled cheeks. He let out a soft sigh before pulling you in to give you a proper embrace. He tucked his face in your neck and took deep breaths, as if to savor the feeling of you so close.

"I'm still sorry," he grumbled, "I got you into this mess."

"Hey, it took two, right? Besides, I don't know about you, but I had fun." You squeezed his thigh, trying to lighten the mood. He squirmed in response.

"Not funny."

"What? For sex that good, I'd let you get me pregnant all over again." You chuckled in his ear. He squirmed again, his grip on you tightening.

"Don't say things like that." He scolded half-heartedly. His voice soft, he was embarrassed. You always knew how to get under his skin. Somehow, the way you did it, Tomura found it endearing. It felt fun and lightheaded the way you teased him. When you first did it, he tried to ignore it, he found you annoying and rude. But as time past, and he found your pestering of your fellow teammates pretty funny, he grew to enjoy your witty banter.

He slowly started to run kisses along your neck. He never really understood what you saw in him. Initially, he thought you wanting to be so close with him was an attempt to gain more power. But there was no evidence to support that, you just genuinely enjoyed his company. He found that bizarre. Tomura was well aware he had a bad attitude and was generally a pain in the ass to deal with.

But you got to him. When you were gone, he missed you. When you made a joke or teased, he laughed. When you were close, he felt warm and comfortable. More comfortable with you than without you. He grew way too attached for his liking. Especially now, he cursed himself for loving you. He called himself selfish and reckless and stupid. He beat himself up for it.

Regardless, if this is what you wanted, he would make this happen for you. But as the deadline came and went, he grew more and more paranoid. If the Heroes got ahold of you, it was game over.

[yeojaa]

IDK IF UR STILL TAKING REQUESTS🥺🥺🥺 sorry if IM botherinh😭😭 BUT MYBE A FINDERS KEEP HERS drabble where jk n oc get in to an argument after chap 3 n jk apologizes or something like that😭😭🥺😭🥺🥺

[ read part one / main story ]

pairing.  jjk x f!reader.  rating.  general.  tags.  this is soft angst. JK being his usual idiot self, reader being... well, sad, and yeah. just pain (but w a resolution. ish).  wc. 1.5k.  beta reader.  @hobi-gif beta’d a bit of this but i wrote most of it after so any dumb mistakes are my fault and my fault alone. 🤡  author note.  this isn’t 100% what you requested but... the first part kind of is, and then this is the resolution (because people requested it). if you’d like another drabble, please feel free to request!

In true fashion, Jungkook tries to fix the problem in the only way he knows how:  with money.

He puts the two of you up at the Four Seasons for the entire week, orders room service at all hours of the day and has treats from all of your favourite spots in the city delivered.  (Macarons, candied nuts, that one bakery that does those salted honey pies you inhale like a wild animal.)  He runs baths for you, fills the tub with your favourite scents (always Diptyque) and massages his tattooed hands all over your scalp.  He makes sure you wake up to the smell of French toast and fall asleep on a bed of roses, curled up in his arms and little else.  

He spoils you until you can hardly see the floor, designer shopping bags strewn throughout the suite.  (His sisters help him decide what to buy, mouths sealed shut otherwise.  They know better than to get too involved in his relationship with you.)  Dinner is somewhere new every night but always at a Michelin-starred restaurant, space booked out to the extent it’s just the two of you and a bouquet of your favourite flowers.

Of course, he thinks things are better.  Assumes they must be, because there’s never been a time where money hasn’t solved his problems.  No matter how much, throw enough of it at something and the problem will go away.

But you don’t go away.  Neither does your sadness.

“Baby.”  It’s your last night together before you’re back to some semblance of normalcy (not that Jungkook’s life was very normal to begin with).  He thinks he’ll miss it more than you will, if your lacklustre reactions have been any indication.

You’re fresh out of the shower - you’d turned down his offer of a bath, locked the door on your way into the washroom - and wrapped in a fuzzy white robe.  “What?”  You’re focused on running a comb through your hair, unbothered by your boyfriend who sits at the edge of the bed, legs wide and hands extended toward you.

It bothers him a bit (read: a lot).  You’re better than you were, offering tiny smiles when he begs for them, accepting his kisses without complaint. It isn’t you though.  Not the snark and the sass and the decades of friendship that normally thread your relationship.  A book with its spine about to snap, held together by cobweb.

Despite the time you’ve spent together the last few days - almost every hour, sans when you were at work - you’ve been distant still.  Not mean, of course (no, never mean, because you’ve always been soft on him) but different.  Softer and harder all at once.

“Come here,”  he coaxes, fingers curling around your wrist, pulling you between his knees effortlessly.

Normally, you’d curl around his shoulders, rake your nails through his hair.  This time, you only allow yourself to be with him, palms flat upon the ridges of muscle plating his back.  You don’t pass affection into his hair, don’t form a cradle for him to rest his head.  (It doesn’t feel like home - not like it should.)

Jungkook hates it.  Absolutely fucking abhors it.  He wants his girlfriend - his best friend, his love - back.  Not this spectre that’s taken up your space. 

(He almost forgets that he’s the reason you’re the way you are.)

“What’s wrong?”  The shape of his mouth curls, bottom lip pouting into that trademark expression that usually has you relenting, melting into a puddle of goo in his arms. 

This time, you shrug, movement dislodging the soft soft terry cloth from your shoulders.  “Nothing.”  Dumb as he might be - oblivious in the way only someone like he can be - he can tell you’re lying.  Offering the untruth right between your teeth, expecting him to accept it.

That bothers him even more.  It’s one thing to put up an act, entertain him as if you were a court jester.  It’s entirely another to treat him as if he’s a child, feeding him lies without a care.

(Notwithstanding the fact that Jeon Jungkook is, for all intents and purposes, a manchild.)

“You’re a shit liar,”  he retorts, grumpy, coloured green and blue until his insides feel like mud.  It’s strange, the discomfort that sinks beneath his skin and sticks his bones together.  Like wading through quicksand or a bog, stuck to a place he doesn’t want to be.  “Talk to me.”

“About what?”  You’re deflecting, refusing to meet his stare, holding yourself within the confines of your robe as if you can’t bear to open up to him.

That hurts more than he expects.  Slips sadness in alongside the frustration.

“About what’s bothering you.”  The fact he has to do this is driving him mad.  It’s akin to pulling teeth and he hates the dentist.

You scoff then - which he doesn’t expect.  The sound kicks him right in the stomach, a sucker punch he doesn’t see coming.  “You want me to talk about you?”  It’s an uncharacteristically mean answer, brought on by whatever’s been bothering you, turning blood to battery acid.

“Excuse me?”  

“You heard me.”  

For the briefest moment, he considers lashing out in response - giving back exactly what he’s getting.  But then he spies it, just there, past the usual warmth of your stare.  It’s hiding behind crystallised amber, peeking past the edges.  So much sadness it steals his breath right from his lungs, stripping him bare of red hot fury and leaving him lily white and lovesick.   

When Jungkook speaks again, it’s feather soft, terribly light, begging and pleading in a single utterance.  “Please.”

There’s silence for a beat, then another.  It stings for each second it continues, treading misery all over the thing that beats in his chest.  He’s not used to this.  (You’re his first and only love.  A part of him is grateful for that;  another hates even this.)

He almost asks again - readies it on the tip of his tongue.

Then you’re unloading, giving him everything he’d asked for and more.   

“I love you,”  you tell him in a reedy voice, uneven like the foundation you’ve built together.  Haphazardly thrown into place and hoped for the best on.  “But you’re an idiot.”   

(He deserves that, he supposes.)

Your voice is static, stretched thin and gossamer thin.  Cheek pressed to his curls, you find comfort in your hiding place, as if shielded by the dark.  “I’ve loved you for years and that’ll never stop.  But when you do stupid shit, it’s so hard.”  Your words are honeyed, thick and heavy as they lay into each strand, seep quietly into his ears.  Where they’d normally fill him with ecstasy, delight, send him on a sugar high - these ache, sink right to the pit of his stomach.  “I would give you anything.  Anything.”

“I know.”  Really, he does.  He’s known that since you were kids.  It’s why he’d fallen in love with you, even before he’d realised he had.

“Then why do you test me?”  

It’s not rhetorical.  You want an answer - something real you can hold between your hands.  Something to act as the salve for all the hurt, to bandage the wounds left behind by your uncertainty.  (He’s the same as you - needs to know he means as much to you as you do him.  But you show it in different ways and that’s what’s brought the two of you to this point.)

“I’m sorry,”  he answers, sliding his arms more securely around your waist, face buried into the soft fabric of the robe, into the warmth that lies beneath, into the heart that beats a rhythm identical to his.

“I don’t want sorry.”  After all, you’d already gotten one.  Weeks ago, when he’d pulled the stupid sophomoric stunt, he’d apologised.  Had been apologising every day since then, but in all the wrong ways.  “I want better.” 

It’s as if all of his bones have been cracked open, the weight of your words settling like sand, discomfort and grit snapping his head to attention.  “You want better?”  There’s nothing but alarm in Jungkook’s expression, eyes wide, throat knotted in worry.  “I—”

As always, you read him like an open book.  Hands smooth down the sides of his cheeks, palms searing over his reddened cheeks.  “Not like that.”  You’re reassuring him even as it should be the other way around.  (How ironic.)

He exhales a deep breath.  Doesn’t tear his stare from yours.  

“I just need you to be better.”  You’d never ask this of him if it weren’t important, if you didn’t feel his ignorance and immaturity splintering your insides into glass shards.  You’ve always accepted him exactly as he was, all the good and bad and ridiculous.  

This is different though.  You love him.  You’re taking a chance with him just as he is with you.  Laying your heart in his hands and trusting him to keep it safe, handing out the key in the hopes of building a home.  

So you ask - for both your sakes. 

He promises he will be and you believe him.  Have to.

For both of your sakes.

[imaginejamesandsirius]

hi! I can't stop sending you prompts. I hope you don't mind :") "Severus hits James with the "Sectumsempra" spell and leaves him in this state." thank you and have a nice day!

((A/N: The prompt sort of leans in a hurt/comfort direction, but I didn’t do that. This is more ‘Sirius has Anger Issues and James doesn’t like it’)) 

"What the hell happened?" Sirius asked. James looked a little fragile, so instead of squeezing his hand until it hurt, Sirius's fingers were knotted together in his lap where he was sat on the edge of the hospital bed. He'd tried to sit in the chair next to the bed, but James had rolled his eyes and told him that if he didn't get up there, then James would go to him. 

James kicked his lips before answering. "Spell accident." 

"Accident," Sirius repeated. He didn't want to think that James was lying to him, but really- an accident? 

"You know how it is with new spells. Sometimes it's exactly what you want, and sometimes they blow up in your face." 

"What the hell were you thinking trying a new spell by yourself?" 

"Well I didn't think that was going to happen. Why get back-up for something I thought couldn't possibly go wrong?" 

"You're the one that gave me that lecture! Like, a month ago. 'Don't go practising anything experimental, Sirius. You might get a hangnail and then I'll have to panic for forty minutes.' Remember that?" 

"I didn't say it like that." 

"Believe me, it was the gist. You're absolutely ridiculous." 

James stuck out his bottom lip in an exaggerated pout. "I'm injured! Be nice to me." 

"I'll be nice to you when you stop being an idiot." 

"That'll never happen," James whined. "I want you to be nice to me now." 

"Keep on dreaming." Besides, maybe this would remind him not to go off on his own and experiment! What kind of spell could it have been to land him in the Hospital Wing? Singed eyebrows, sure, but Madam Pomfrey hadn't even healed him and then let him go. Whatever it was that had gone wrong, it was having lasting effects. 

"Where's Moony and Wormtail?" 

"Revising. You said it was nothing, so I told them not to worry about it." The only reason James had told Sirius was because he knew better than to try and hide something like that. They both agreed to tell the other about any injury, no matter how small, and they got on a lot better for it. "If I'd known you were lying, they'd be here." 

"I didn't lie. I said I was fine, and I am." 

That was when Madam Pomfrey walked up to them with a tray of potions in hand, and she raised an eyebrow at James. "Anyone who loses that much blood is not fine. You're lucky Professor Dumbledore happened upon you when he did, or you might've bled to death right there." 

"What?" Sirius yelped, turning to James accusingly. "That's not sodding fine!" 

"I'm heartened that you agree with me, Mister Black. Perhaps he will actually listen when I say that he should stay here overnight." 

"Aww, c'mon," James said. "Nothing's going to happen to me back at the dormitory. You already said it would just be for observation." 

"No way," Sirius said immediately, shaking his head. "You're staying here so we can be sure there aren't any lingering effects." 

"There aren't." 

"You don't know that for sure." 

There was a hesitance to James's expression before he said, "Yeah, but I'm pretty sure." 

"Pretty sure isn't enough to bet your life on." He heard Madam Pomfrey move on to the next patient, leaving them alone again. "Come on," Sirius said, lowering his voice. "I wouldn't be able to get any sleep if I knew you might get hurt in the middle of the night. If you're here, at least we'll all know that you're as safe as you can be." 

"Bloody hell, you're becoming more like Mum with every passing day." 

"Your mother is a lovely woman." 

"Yeah, but she hovers," he said, wrinkling his nose. 

"You like my hovering," Sirius said. He managed to untense his fingers so that he could put one hand on the bed and lean forward to give James a quick kiss. 

"Merlin help me, I do," he whispered. 

"So you'll stay here, tonight?" 

"I will, but I still think you're overreacting. Nothing's going to happen." 

"That's what I thought this morning too, and look at where that led us." 

James rolled his eyes. 

*

Sirius thought about it more as he went back to the dormitory. He couldn't manage to think about anything else. James's answer had almost made sense, but something about how he'd said it all... It had soothed Sirius at the time, but now that he had some space, it struck him as odd. It's like James had been trying to get him not to focus on how it happened. If it had been a simple spell accident from a new one, then he would've complained about the spell itself; he would've talked about how he was so sure he'd gotten the right phrasing for it this time, and he'd worked so hard on trying to get it perfect before he ever raised his wand. 

He hadn't done any of that. 

James and Sirius didn't have to have talked about it first to know that Sirius was going to sneak in that night to visit him. Since he was actually hurt, Sirius didn't plan on staying for very long. 

He was going to get to the Hospital Wing, ask James what had actually happened, kiss him once (maybe twice, for good measure), then leave. Nice and quick. He'd be back at Gryffindor Tower in time to catch enough sleep that he wouldn't pass out at his classes tomorrow. 

It was a good plan, he thought. The only problem was that James didn't seem to know the script. 

He was awake when Sirius got there. That much, at least, they were on the same page for. Sirius cast a silencing spell around them, then carefully sat on the edge of the bed. "How do you feel?" 

"No worse than before," he said with a tired smile. It was hard to say if he was tired purely from staying up a little late or if that was an effect of being injured. "I still think you're overreacting a bit. I'm fine, and I know that nothing's going to happen." 

"How?" 

"What?" 

"How do you know that nothing worse is going to happen?" Sirius elaborated. 

"Trust me on this one, love. The initial," he waved his hand lazily, "thing happened, and I get that it scared you, but everything's fine now. It's not going to spontaneously reappear; it's not like that." 

Sirius stared at him for a long moment. If he hadn't been looking for it, he would've accepted that answer. James was not only dodging the question, but he was doing it in a way that tried to ensure Sirius wouldn't think twice about it. James was lying, and he didn't know why. "This wasn't a spell accident," Sirius said flatly. "You know exactly what went wrong, but you're not telling me. Even if you were telling the truth about it being a spell accident, I'd need a better explanation for why you're so sure it's not going to have any lingering effects. But since you're lying about that, I figure you can just tell me the whole truth right now." 

James's expression turned guilty, but no answer was forthcoming. 

"What the hell is going on?" 

He still didn't answer. 

"Fine," Sirius said, getting to his feet. "If you're not going to talk to me, I'm going to leave." 

"Wait," James said hurriedly, even though Sirius hadn't taken a step. "Don't- don't go." 

Threatening him-- even with something so small as going back to bed-- made him sick to his stomach. "Are you going to tell me what really happened?" 

James made a face. 

"What the hell is going on? Since when do you not talk to me?" 

"Since I know you'll freak out." 

"Why would I freak out?" 

"Because that's what you do when you get upset. For fuck's sake, you almost killed Snape last-" 

"You said you forgave me for that," Sirius interrupted as his heart clenched. "Wait, did he do this to you?" 

For a moment, James looked conflicted. Then he said, "Yes, but I don't think he really knew what the spell would do. He panicked when he saw all the blood." 

"He left you there? Madam Pomfrey said that Dumbledore's the one who found you, so when he panicked, he just left you like that? I swear to Merlin, I'll sodding-" 

"Stop!" James shouted. "You're not going to do anything." 

"The hell I won't." 

"This is why I didn't tell you. I hexed him first." 

"Yeah, you hexed him; you didn't cut him open and leave him to die." 

"You're not listening to me!" 

"I'm listening just fine." 

"No, you're not," James snarled, his face twisting with frustration. "You're just saying that you're going to kill him because he hurt me, and I'm telling you that that's utter shite." 

"He'd deserve it." 

In a flash, the anger was gone, replaced by shocked disbelief. "You'd really do it." 

"He nearly killed you," Sirius hissed. 

James swayed back slightly, like he couldn't handle being so close to Sirius's anger. "You told me last time that it was a mistake. One you regretted." 

Sirius grit his teeth. "It was." Then, vindictively, "I never should've dragged Moony into it when I could've done it myself." He hadn't expected for the statement to do anything but make James more disappointed with him, but he looked scared now. The reaction almost had Sirius apologising-- it's not like he would ever hurt James, but the other man didn't look too certain of that. 

"If anything happens to Snape, I'll tell Dumbledore that you're responsible." 

"You wouldn't," Sirius said, narrowing his eyes. 

"I definitely would if it'll stop you from hurting him. He made a stupid mistake, just like you'd done, and you're not going to punish him for it." James still looked scared of him. "If you hurt him again, Dumbledore will expel you. He was lenient last time, only Merlin knows why, but he won't do it again." 

Sirius turned on his heel and left, angry enough that he wanted to start flinging spells at the stone until it crumbled before him. 

He stomped back to the Tower. He wasn't careful or using the Map, but he somehow didn't get caught. That was good. He wasn't sure he would've held his tongue, even against a professor. 

*

He woke up in the morning, feeling nauseous. 

He skipped breakfast to go see James. Madam Pomfrey was releasing him when he got there, so he hovered awkwardly near the door for her to finish. 

James had seen him when he entered. His eyes chased that direction when he saw the door open, then slid back to Madam Pomfrey as she spoke. Sirius leaned against the wall, feeling almost like he hadn't slept at all for how tired he was. He didn't know if James would listen to him, or if he wanted more space before talking. Hell, he might consider last night good grounds for breaking up with him, and what made it worse was that he wouldn't be wrong. If Sirius were James, that's what he'd do. He wouldn't be able to be with someone like him. 

But when James walked to the door, he stopped at Sirius's side. "Hey," he said, subdued. 

"Clean bill of health?" Sirius asked, looking at James's shoulder because it was easier than looking him in the eye. 

"Yeah. Nothing happened during the night, so she said I should be fine. The usual lecture about being more careful in the future." 

Sirius nodded. "Breakfast?" he suggested, pointing towards the door. The last thing he wanted was to sit in the Great Hall and try to force himself to eat. 

"Sure." 

They left, walking side by side. It was a tense silence until Sirius broke. "Can we talk?" 

"Sure," James said again. 

It was easy to find an empty corridor that was far enough away from the Great Hall that they didn't have to worry about being walked in on. 

"I don't know what's wrong with me," Sirius said quietly. He didn't think of himself as overly emotional, but he started to tear up the moment he opened his mouth. "Every time I get angry, it's like I don't care about anything. I always feel like myself, and then it passes, and I just want to be sick. I used to think it was my parents, you know? That I was so buggered up from living with them that feeling murderous was just part of who I was, but now I live with you and it's-" Sirius stopped, swallowing thickly. He blinked the tears away before they could bead together and fall. "I don't know how to be better." 

James didn't say anything for a long moment. "Have you talked to anyone about this?" 

"I'm talking to you, aren't I?" 

"I meant, like, an adult. A real one. A good one, not your parents. Maybe Mum?" 

"Why would talking to your mum help?" 

"She's our mum," James corrected automatically, like he always did. "I dunno. She seems to know a lot. When I was going through some things, talking to her made me feel better. It can't hurt, right?" 

"I guess," Sirius muttered. He'd do it because James thought it was a good idea, and he couldn't trust his own council about this. He just wasn't really sure if it would be better for him, and more than that, he didn't know how willing he was to say those things to Mrs. Potter. She always looked at him fondly and said that he was family. He didn't want for that to be tossed out the window because he said too much to her, but he couldn't stay like this. If James hadn't been scared of him last night, he probably would've done it. Maybe he wouldn't have killed Snape, but he wasn't sure-- and he definitely would've hurt him. 

Sirius felt... fragile. Like he was a vase with cracks all along it. 

"I'll write to her today," Sirius said. Since they agreed, he started to turn back to the main corridor, but James stopped him. 

James stepped forward, wrapping his arms around him just like he always did. Not tighter, not less constraining. The same as always, like nothing had changed. "I'm glad you're okay," James whispered. 

Stupidly, that was the thing that made Sirius start to cry-- that James touched him and talked to him like he was the same he'd always been. Like he still loved him. 

[silverynight]

Welcome home

"You can stay in my house," he quickly offers before Tina can say anything; it's inevitable... He's not sure why he did that. He knows everyone in his office is looking at him now, but he doesn't tear his eyes away from Newt. "I... don't have a–what I mean is that it'd be more easy for you that way. I know auror Goldstein has a landlady who doesn't want men in her building, so..."

"You're right!" Newt finally says, grinning from ear to ear. "Thank you, Mr. Graves."

Once he knows Newt is gonna stay with him, Percival relaxes, although he regrets looking at Goldstein's surprised expression and Seraphina's smirk.

Newt is his friend's brother, of course he wants to help him; Percival is not that strict as people usually thinks.

"So you come from a tropical country?" He mumbles to make conversation and distract Seraphina from whatever is in her mind.

"How do you know that?" The magizoologist looks back at him, intrigued.

"You have more freckles now than the last time I saw you," the Director observes, ignoring the way Seraphina quirks up a brow at him. Her attitude starts getting on his nerves.

Of course he'd notice! He's an auror, besides... It's more than obvious... It's not like he's the only one who has noticed that–

"Oh!" Newt looks surprised, before his expression turns into something more calm. He chuckles. "You're right, the sun must have done that."

Ridiculously happy to know he made him smile, Percival can't help but grin in return; the glimmer in his eyes stays there even after Newt gets out of the office to follow Tina and say 'hello' to her sister.

"Good luck!" Seraphina smirks again, prompting Graves to narrow his eyes at her.

"What do you mean?"

Instead of answering, she walks out of the room.

***

It's not easy at first; some of the creatures in Newt's case escape from it every now and then and destroy a few of Graves's things.

He's a little bit irritated at first, but he quickly repairs most of them and even learns how to put protective spells around his stuff. He also stops the Niffler a few times before he can steal his watch.

Newt is embarrassed; Percival notices in the way his blush spreads down his neck every single time.

Sometimes he wonders how far that blush goes and then he shakes his head to ignore those thoughts.

"I'm not mad, Newt." He says sincerely, but the magizoologist insists on doing something for him in return and the next time Graves comes back home the dinner is ready.

Without realizing what he's doing, Percival starts going back home earlier than usual. Mostly to help Newt with his creatures.

He finds out he has a couple of dangerous and highly illegal beasts inside his case, but Newt is so happy and excited about them, Graves decides not to make a comment on the situation; he even gives Newt a permit for his whole case, praying nobody else knows what's inside.

"Glad to know you don't stay here late anymore; you deserve to sleep like a normal person," the President says the next time he sees him.

Percival doesn't utter a word in return because by the way she's smiling, he feels like it's some kind of trap.

"You look happier now."

Graves narrows his eyes and walks towards the entrance, feeling a little bit impatient out of the sudden. He wants to see Newt.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

***

Even though the Director swears it's not necessary, Newt makes coffee for him. The first couple of times it's a disaster, but the magizoologist learns quickly and in a couple of days Percival becomes addicted to the coffee he makes.

Then, Newt starts making more so Percival can take it to his office too.

Sometimes Newt even goes to MACUSA to help them with a few cases and Graves takes him out to dinner at the end of the day before they go home.

***

"I need a few days off," he says and even though in other circumstances Seraphina's reaction would have amused him, he's too worried to smile.

"Days off? You?" The president chokes on her coffee, staring at him almost with shock.

"Newt's sick," he blurts out, hating those words. No, it's nothing to worry about, but he knows that man will keep working and tiring himself until he passes out if Percival doesn't do something quickly.

He wants nothing more than to be at his side.

"Oh, I'm sorry," there must be something on his face because Seraphina looks concerned too. Although when Graves mumbles that it's just a cold, she relaxes. "He'll be fine, Percival. But I understand... Of course you'd like to take care of him. Go then, you can take as many days as you want.

"Thank you."

It takes a lot of persuading, but Graves manages to convince Newt to stay in bed (mostly because the magizoologist is exhausted) while he takes care of the rest.

The creatures trust him enough at this point so it's not that difficult to feed them before returning to Newt's side and see if he needs anything.

When he notices he's asleep, Percival smiles fondly, he touches his forehead and realizes the potion he made is working after all.

Newt is back on his feet a couple of days later with a huge smile on his face that makes Percival feel weak at the knees for a second.

"Thank you, Percy," he mumbles before giving him a hug.

Graves comes back to MACUSA grinning like an idiot.

***

Just a couple of days later, the realization of what's going on with him hits him in the face.

"Welcome home, Percy!" Newt beams; sleeves rolled up, messy hair and freckles that always look like beautiful stars. "I'm making dinner!"

Percival Graves freezes on his own doorway, mesmerized, wondering if there's something wrong with his heart. Then he realizes in shock, noticing how exhausted he is, that he just wants to take Newt in his arms and give him a kiss on the lips.

He's in love with his best friend's little brother and he can't do anything about it.

So that's the reason why Seraphina looked at him with a smirk on her face every time Percival mentioned Newt. She knows.

"How was your day?" Newt asks, beautiful and somehow impossible to reach; he's like a ray of sunshine and Percival has never felt so cold or lonely in all his life.

"Busy," he groans, already regretting how stiff he sounds, Newt deserves to be treated gently. He needs to be treated like he's the most important thing in the world.

Because he's the most important thing to Percival.

The magizoologist doesn't seem to notice or just doesn't mind. He keeps grinning.

"You must be tired," he comments. "Tina told me you have a couple of difficult cases in your hands. But I know you can handle them, I haven't met an auror as determined as you are."

Percival looks up at him; it's almost painful to stare at Newt. His heart keeps acting like a crazy idiot inside his chest and he knows he wants to come home to this for the rest of his life.

The problem is that Newt is just his friend.

"I..."

"I'm here for you, if you need me."

I need you, I want you. Please stay with me. The thoughts are begging to rush out of his mouth, but Percival remains silent.

"Thank you," he says instead and they both eat in silence, although Percival is internally screaming.

Love is not as easy as it sounds. As everyone makes it sound.

***

Newt is leaving tomorrow. He needs to go to Brazil and Percival doesn't know when he'll come back.

He needs to do something. Seraphina thinks he should tell him everything, but Percival is not sure how he'll react.

He doesn't want to scare him away.

Graves sits on the couch pretending he's reading a book while Newt walks around the room, explaining everything he needs to do in Brazil to Pickett. The bowtruckle doesn't like the idea of traveling again.

Percival watches, knowing he'll miss that too and everything about Newt Scamander.

"Maybe you should stay," he blurts out while he curses internationally for saying such thing.

"But I need to trave–"

"Sorry, Newt," Percival is blushing and flustered now, looking at his own lap instead at the magizoologist. "I didn't mean it like that. I just... If you want, you can come back here as soon as you finish whatever you have to do there. You can stay here when you're not... traveling."

It's ridiculous. He feels absolutely ridiculous; babbling like a teenager in love.

Perhaps there's something else in his eyes or it's the way he turns his head up to look at him, because Newt's freckles disappear under an adorable blush.

"Do you want me to... move in with you?"

Even though there's a possiblity his answer ends up scaring the magizoologist away, Percival doesn't see the point in denying what it's obvious.

"Yes," he rises from his seat to finally meet his gaze. "I... I'm not trying to pressure you into doing something you don't want to. We could... still be friends, but I'd like to start a relationship with you..."

For a moment, Newt freezes and Percival is almost sure he just ruined everything and is more than ready to apologize when the magizoologist takes a step forward and smiles shyly at him.

"I like the idea," he mumbles, like he's afraid that his words cloud ruin the moment.

"Do you really?" It's a dream, Percival is sure of it... At least he is until Newt puts his arms around his neck and nods.

And then he kisses him on the lips. Graves can't help it, he's wanted to do that since Newt came back to New York that he can't help but kiss back desperately, with a starving passion.

"I still have one day left before I go to Brazil," Newt mumbles over Percival's lips, already pulling him towards the bedroom. Pickett quickly runs towards the case.

"You're right," Graves whispers with hunger, taking Newt's vest off.

Percival wakes up with a grin on his face and a beautiful man next to him. He leans to kiss Newt's shoulder before he finally wakes up and the Director hears him for the rest of the morning about moving in with him as soon as he comes back from Brazil.

A huge smile quirks up the corners of his lips as Percival thinks that his expression will probably confuse a few people in MACUSA that day.

But he doesn't care, he's too happy to think about that.

***

You can read more fics like this on my Patreon