#and they pulled a ton of punches. the ending did not feel like this big 'grab your allies and fuck the corpos' thing it shouldve been

[merlinmerlot]

I could play one of the most beautiful well crafted video games on the planet and it will never be as appealing to me as one that kind of sucks shit but has soooo much potential

[archangeldyke-all]

Something with like cellmate prisoner!sevika?! 😭😭😭 idk I just think like her being all dangerous and powerful, having a shit ton of friends but like selectively, no one messing with her maybe even hating how just mean she is. And then comes in reader and yk. I’d love if the story was smutty but u can chose ofc 🫦

i love this so much

men and minors dni

living in zaun is shit. but the one thing that's always kept you and a majority of your fellow citizens in line, was the ever-looming presence of stillwater prison just a few miles away. you've watched countless people enter those prison walls. you know very few who ever came back out.

and now, through a series of unfortunate events that lead to you assaulting an undercover enforcer, you're going to find out first hand just how horrible stillwater really is.

you don't think you've ever been so nervous in your life as the enforcer guides you-- restrained and already hating the itchy fabric of your new life-long uniform--down a long, long hall of cells.

he's chewing a wad of bubblegum, casually, like you aren't about to piss yourself with nerves. "listen kid." he says, looking you up and down. "i read your file. seems like you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time." he says, shrugging. "no prior arrests, clean record-- honestly i'm surprised they sent you here, but i guess you did break marcus' nose." the enforcer chuckles here.

"you know that asshole?" you ask. the man guiding you snorts.

"'s my boss." he mumbles. beside you, a prisoner lunges at the bars of their cell, screaming at you. you jump, and the guard laughs. "as i was sayin'-- you seem like a real peach. like you'd be a good influence on some of our... rougher prisoners." he mumbles.

dread starts to curl in your stomach. you have a pretty good idea of where this conversation is headed, and you don't like the outcome. you just hope you aren't cellmates with someone real bad: like genie the counter-fitter who got caught two years ago; esmee the weapons expert who successfully set an entire square block of piltover's wealthiest neighborhood ablaze; or, god forbid, sevika.

she'd been caught just weeks ago, smuggling an entire airship's worth of shimmer into piltover's loading docks. it was big fucking news.

sevika's a big fucking deal.

and you want absolutely nothing to do with her.

which is why, of course, the guard pulls you to a stop right outside of the only cell with a light on, the low, dim glow of a reading lamp and the quick flickering light of a lighter. you feel like you're gonna barf.

sitting in the shadows of the cell, puffing on a hand-rolled cigarette, sits sevika, silco's second in command.

if he's the eye of zaun, she's the arm. he might be watching-- but she's doing. she's nothing but bad news; everything you've tried your best to avoid while living in the undercity.

well, look how well that turned out for you.

"sevika, meet your new cellmate." the enforcer calls out. a pair of silver eyes snap up from her book and lock on yours. you shiver.

"fucks' wrong with her?" she mumbles. you gulp.

"nervous, i'd assume. 's her first-offense." the guard says. he shoves you into the cell and you jump as the bars slam shut behind you. "you ladies have fun." he says, before turning and walking away, the smacks of his gum echoing behind him.

sevika inspects you from her chair.

"how'd you fuck up so bad you ended up in a cell with me from your first offense?" she asks, seemingly intrigued.

"punched an undercover enforcer." you whisper. sevika's eyebrow hitches up, a little amused.

"yeah?"

"think his name was marcus, or something." you mumble. she sputters.

"ha! really!?" she asks, a little smile growing on her face. you nod. she takes a drag off her cigarette, then points at the bunk beds. "i get bottom. don't go thinkin' 'cause we're cellmates it means you get to touch my shit. i got people outside pullin' big favors for met to get shit like this." she gestures to her cigarettes and lamp. you nod. "don't look so nervous. i won't bite unless you piss me off."

you try to stop shivering. you don't succeed. "s-sorry."

she studies you for a moment, her smile growing as she does. though she's no longer armed with shimmer, her arm's still in perfect working condition, five little daggers gently tapping on the table top as her eyes dart across you. "you from the lanes?" she asks. you nod. she snorts. "you know who i am?" she asks. you nod again. she chuckles, then stands. she approaches you, circling around you like you're prey, then chuckling and leaning back against the table, crossing her arms over her chest. "you scared'a me?" she asks.

"shouldn't i be?" you choke out.

it seems to be the right answer. sevika laughs, then sits back down at her table, picking her book back up, chuckling intermittently for minutes after.

she's not a bad roommate. she's surprisingly tidy, always quiet, her nose usually buried in a book. she smokes like a fucking chimney, and you've come to find she gets her tobacco-- and sometimes a bit of weed-- from one of the guards every tuesday night.

she's got special privileges among most of the guards. they're always sneaking her books and flasks, letting her get away without cell-searches, letting her read past lights out and have lighters and screwdrivers and other dangerous, weapon-like tools.

you, on the other hand, do not have these privileges. and, keeping in line with sevika's one and only rule, you don't touch her shit. all of this means that while sevika smokes and works on her arm and reads and works out, you spend your time just... sitting on the top bunk. watching her.

sometimes, during open cell time, she gets visitors. you're surprised that none of these visits end in shady dealings-- sevika doesn't seem to need to trade her stash of goods for anything. most of her visits are quick, and most end the same way: a small scrap of paper being shoved in sevika's hand.

she burns the scraps after she reads whatever's on them.

she's... pleasant, sometimes. it's rare, but it happens. one day, you'd forgotten to make your bed before you went to breakfast. you returned to find it neatly made, and when you thanked her for helping you avoid trouble with the guards, she had just waved it off. "don' get used to it. i won't always be here to fix your mistakes."

once, a fight broke out while you were in the showers. you were sent back to your cell soaking wet-- your hair still lathered in shampoo. she had chuckled, called you a "wet rat", and helped you rinse your hair out in the tiny sink in your cell.

and... she's kinda pretty. it occurred to you one evening while the two of you were partaking in your nightly routine: sevika reading in her chair while you study her, pretending to sleep. she'd glanced up at you and whispered. "why're you always lookin' at me?"

you shrugged, then nearly choked on your tongue when 'you're pretty' almost slipped out of your mouth. "uh... i got nothing else to look at." you'd ended up saying. she seemed to accept this.

"you don't have any prison girlfriends?" you ask. sevika's in a particularly jovial mood today: the note she'd been delivered earlier in the afternoon must've had great news. she's decided to share her joint with you. the question slipped out the second you took your first puff-- your tolerance astronomically low from being without for so long.

sevika laughs. "nah."

"but..." you cut yourself off before you get yourself in trouble, biting your lip. sevika chuckles, then nudges your leg.

"y' can say it." she says. you smile at her, then speak.

"it's just... i had a few friends who work at babette's." you say. "i figured you'd have as much of a reputation here as you do there."

she takes a second, tilting her neck side to side as it cracks, then sighing. "i got shit to do in here." she says simply. you raise an eyebrow at her, biting your lip again, and she chuckles. "say it." she demands again.

"you just read all day." you laugh. sevika nods.

"i'm... working." she says. you just nod along, pretending you understand what she's alluding to.

it happens in the strangest way but you and sevika start to become... friends.

she sits alone at lunch, and you sit alone too, on the oppisite side of the cafeteria. but you're so used to looking at sevika, that you find yourself watching her even when there are much more entertaining things to look at, like the handful of fights that break out every meal.

you notice she loves the jello cups you guys get once a week. so you pocket yours and toss it at her later that night. the way she smiles lights up the room even brighter than her tiny lamp. you make it a habit.

she starts loaning you her books, finds you a crate to sit on by her table while you guys read together at night.

and when sevika gets jumped in the middle of the night-- you don't even question it before you jump out of your bunk, grab sevika's screwdriver where she left it on the table, and start swinging in the dark, blindly.

"what the fuck?" someone squawks when you manage to stab something in the dark.

"what?" sevika whispers in the dark.

"sevika, your bunkmate fucking stabbed me!" her attacker's voice rings out.

a light flicks on. you cringe at the sudden brightness, then blink in confusion as sevika and a guard with a screwdriver sticking out of their shoulder stare at you.

sevika's grinning. the guard is scowling. you hold your hands up in shaky fists, preparing for a fight. sevika chuckles.

"relax, sweetheart." she says, swinging her arm around you and tugging you into her side. "ran's a friend." she whispers into your ear. you blink at the bleeding guard, then back at sevika.

"so, what, we're taking your girlfriend with us now?" the guard-- ran-- asks. sevika looks at her friend, then looks at you, a calculating look in her eye. she smirks, shrugs, then looks back at the guard.

"she threw herself between me and a uniform-- can't just throw that kinda loyalty out, now can i?" she asks, smiling.

you don't know what's happening. you're about to ask-- when suddenly you black out.

the first thing that comes back to you is your sense of hearing.

voices.

"sevika, fuck, you can't just throw a wrench in the plan like this--"

"i can do whatever the fuck i want--"

"on the night of the breakout?! no heads up!?"

"do i need to remind you which one of us is second in command, here?!"

"...fuck. c'mon, help me load her in the van."

the next thing is your sense of touch. you're laying on the rumbling cold steel of a van floor-- currently in motion.

you're shivering, but then something warm and wool and smelling like cigars is draped over you.

you're head keeps bumping uncomfortably with every crack in the road. someone gently picks your head up and puts it in their warm nap, a hand coming down to scratch your scalp.

your voice comes next. "mmmh?"

"it's okay." sevika's voice comes. you groan, cracking your eyes open, only for her face to be grinning down at you. "fuckin' maniac." she giggles.

"wha?" you groan. you're seeing double, your head is pounding.

"ran knocked you out. 's what you get for stabbin' 'em." sevika chuckles. "but, you're lucky, 'cause they don't hold a grudge. they helped me lug your ass outta stillwater."

"wha?!" you ask again, snapping up. sevika laughs as you look out the front window of the van-- the depths of piltover surrounding you as you head, presumebly, to the last drop.

you recognize the man driving-- a tall, muscular, tattooed man who'd recently been added to your cell block's guard rotation. in the passengers' seat sits the guard you'd stabbed-- bandaged and watching you with amusement.

"wha's happenin'?" you mumble, looking back at your cellmate as you clutch a hand to your throbbing head. you've been shrouded in a red cloak-- sevika's already out of her prison uniform and back in her 'second in command' look. she smirks at you.

"y' really think i was jus' sittin' around, servin' my time?" she asks. you shrug.

"figured somethin' was goin' on. y' kept gettin' those notes. didn't wanna ask." you groan. sevika chuckles.

"well, you shoulda. or i shoulda warned you, so you didn't try killing my crew." she chuckles. you blink over to the person in the passengers' seat, cringing.

"s-sorry." you mumble. they wave it off.

"'s cool. knocked you right the fuck out, didn't i?" they chuckle. "we're even."

you turn back to sevika. "you broke me out of prison?" you ask. she shrugs.

"'re you mad about it?" she asks. you gawk at her.

"uh... just... a little surprised?"

sevika cackles. you smile at the sound, despite your headache. "i wasn't plannin' on it! then you started givin' me your jello, 'n readin' all my books, 'n..."

"she's got a crush on you." ran fills in from the front.

"i didn't say that!" she shouts.

"she's not denying it though--" the man driving teases.

you choke on your spit. sevika huffs, rolls her eyes, and speaks. "i... i kinda got a crush on you, yeah." she mumbles. "and i swear i'm not sayin' this jus' 'cause i think you're cute but: you should really stay with us at the last drop until things calm back down, since, y'know... you're kinda wanted now..." she says, rubbing the back of her neck.

you blink... shocked.

you don't really know what to think. you tried your whole life to stay out of trouble, and it managed to find you anyways in the form of a drunken under-cover enforcer deciding to smack your ass when you'd had too many drinks to hold your punches. you tried to stay out of trouble in stillwater until you were saddled with sevika. you tried to stay out of trouble with her until she dragged you-- literally, you were unconscious!-- out of prison along with her. it seems like trouble's meant for you.

but if there's one thing you're certain of, it's sevika.

you smile at her, then reach up to cup her cheek. she looks more nervous than you've seen her in all your months in stillwater together.

"you gotta crush on me?" you ask. she gulps.

"i'd say it's a little more than a crush seeing she broke you outta stillwater as your first date--"

"ran!" sevika hollers. you chuckle.

"is this our first date?" you ask, raising your eyebrow at her. she shrugs.

"it's... jus' don't expect the next dates to be this exciting." she chuckles, rolling her eyes. you grin, then dart forward and press a kiss to her lips. when you pull away, she's wearing that same nervous look again.

"you okay?" you whisper. she licks her lips, nuzzles a bit against your hand on her face, and nods.

"'m just kickin' myself for not puttin' the moves on you sooner. coulda been fuckin' you to pass the time in prison instead of readin' all those boring books." she mumbles. you burst into laughter, and she grins.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai @vikasub

[astolfofo]

I lowkey kinda feel like writing smth for dr ratio but take this idea for now:

Revisited the 36 questions musical (music in it is so banger my god). Imagine you're one of dr. ratio's old classmates. An academic rival if you will. You part ways with him after high school. You could not imagine going to a university with him. You pity the poor students that do.

But he does come back into your life. You've seen him occasionally at your job. YOu do your best to ignore him, treat him like you would with any other colleague that you might have known. At an arm's length. You're not friends with any of them. You certainty would not treat him with more kindness than you would with any other person. Suffice to say, although petty, you had never gotten over how he was just always just barely a mark or two above you.

That was until you realized that the distance between you two was so great, that he was now your boss. You found out he was a professor in a university through the grapevine of your coworkers who can't stop swooning over him. You tried to ignore them, focus on your work, but today, they were loudly announcing that he was going to be the manager of your department. Strange, you think to yourself. He had never seemed to have an interest in your line of work. He had always been highly theoretical. You had turn to be highly practical. He was one meant for the sciences, while you could only surmount to doing practical application. You'd have imagined he would be doing things that were beyond what the mundane could comprehend. He shouldn't be here.

But he was.

WHILE being a professor at one of the top universities. Countless accomplishments, probably a wall full of certificates and awards. You had grown not to care about things like that. But it still felt that he was invading the one thing you were good at. Still though, you wouldn't let it bother you. In the worst case, you'd switch companies, maybe move somewhere else and he wouldn't be a problem anymore.

But Dr. Ratio seems to have different ideas. Management under his hand was very different. You were immidieately promoted to the highest rank, below manager. Much to your distaste, you had told him multiple times to promote one of your coworkers. They had much better qualifications for becoming a manager than you did. But alas, your protests always came to deaf ears.

Suddenly you were crushed by work, tons of pressure, and under his scrutiny. He was a big fan of doing big, risky projects. Ones that you'd always be responsible for if you failed. You'd try to politely deny his requests, but he'd insist, threatening that you'd be fired if you didn't pull through.

At one point you had just had enough.

You coldly place your resignation onto his desk. The box of your belongings was balanced between your hand and your knees.

"What is the meaning of this?"

"My resignation. I'm leaving." You say simply. "Don't try to convince me to stay. Working under you is simply not something I am suited for."

He seems uninterested. He raises an eyebrow at you. "Is that so? I was under the impression that you were doing quite well."

You didn't know whether you wanted to laugh or scream in that second. You were sure your hair was going to turn half-white before he picked up a goddamn clue. You suppose passing out three times and looking like you had your eyes punched wasn't a strong enough indicator.

"Ah... well... I'm flattered you think that way, but I really think it's time for me to move on...."

"And your plan after this is...?"

"Oh. Maybe work at someplace else." You lie, "I have a few options I can choose from, I'll probably end up working at one of those."

Dr. Ratio looks at your face, and then looks up and down. You stand there akwardly waiting for his approval to leave. You began counting down seconds. If he wasn't going to let you leave in the next two minutes, you'd walk out the door yourself.

"Why don't we sit down and talk first? Before you leave."

What? "Oh no sir.. it's fine... really..."

"It's been a few years since we've last seen each other and talked, hasn't it? I was wondering when you were going to approach me again. It's just a shame it's in this way."

He turns around and puts the sheet of paper into the shredder. You look back at him wide-eyed, debating on whether you would just walk straight out.

"Why don't you set your things aside? Maybe put them back on your desk? It's not like you'll be leaving soon. Unless you want to retire now?"

You open your mouth preparing to yell every curse word you can at him.

"Save your insults for later. Now tell me why you pretended not to recognize me for the past year I've worked here."

[littlestuffstohide]

Rise of the Ashes - Pt3

End the trial? No way. I just love how confident and classy Edgeworth is every time even if he's bluffing crazy to do what's needed. And it's crazy reckless he went and followed Phoenix's lead. Or rather got a few words from Phoenix and decided to pull the entire case with everyone kicking and screaming.

Lmaooo. Let's burn the world. Gaaaaah. Phoenix is my definite fave but Miles just gets to me every time.

Of course Edgeworth lives to do better. ahahahha. These two are his superiors mind you: his boss he's prosecutor and an executive higher up he's telling a massive Fuck You. He's so classy to booth while doing so.

Of course Edgeworth lives to do better. ahahahha. You just don't know how amazing these two will become. He becomes chief prosecutor. Jap version has the better position for Miles being the Attorney General. I wish the english translation could have done justice to Miles position that's not similar to Lana's. Miles deserves to be higher than both of them. and just as a shout out Phoenix and Miles become so legendary they are basically touchless. They get away with ton of shit they pull in court.

I just love how ballsy Edgeworth is. Like no evidence but he bluffed insanely here to get the case moving.

Edgeworth: Testify.

Judge: ... (Agrees after 3 seconds).

Just the amount of pull he has to get everyone moving. Miles is the type to forcefully move everything and Phoenix is the seducing lady the does the work behind? Sorta.

Lmaooo. I forgot to SS the part of Phoenix. I just love Miles' reaction everytime. A lot is just gold to me. They accuse each other of doing things not being done but you know, it's soooo them. They're so comfy to accuse the other even if they know the other is innocent. And the other would REALLY not be offended.

The Blue Badger is the biggest haunt ever. Drawn nasty. Creepier than Chaka Doll. But it's such a goofy existence needed in AA. It's haunting for an hour. Just imagine a case so big but these two men juuuuust discuss and diss the blue badger for an HOUR!

Phoenix. It will never stop haunting you! Everyone just forgets the Blue Badger is just on that crime. BUT everyone's haunted by it that the vase is a vase. Just imagine discussing the ugly mascot for an hour! hahaha. And Phoenix really started the Blue Badger talk!

That's why Miles is the MVP. Like it's insane how these two represent the sword and the shield! The trial goes on because Edgeworth is a genius. And he doesn't pull punches to keep the trial going. We'll drag everyone no matter the consequence. No matter the scandal it causes.

It's all or nothing. Mind you. one High prosecutor and one rookie defense lawyer is up there. Just pulling the craziest stunts. Everyone is onto them. Especially Edgeworth! Miles is so determined. Consequences be damned. This is more than possibly losing their jobs. The repercussions they might face if things go wrong.

Full throttle!

Like this case is both Miles and Phoenix fighting together literally. The rush I feel in playing AA vs AA5 and AA6 is so different. The first three games does better.

This is just the biggest thing about Phoenix. What made him different compared to others. It's flawed, misguided but with great intentions. Apollo does the best he can. But Phoenix puts so much in himself which is why he's sooo choosy on his clients. He's just as hard on himself like Miles is. Or maybe even higher. He gives so much of himself that client which is a double-edged sword that could destroy him. The betrayal does absolute damage to him mentally given the chance. But, if he's right then great. He sets so high standards on what he could do for others. If that's the case, Phoenix probably needs to set a regular therapy session every case he does. They way Phoenix handles himself is so reckless and might as well be destructive.

And he did make it! It's just as bloody but he made a legend for itself!

This sprite just for this moment is to be savored.

It's not nothing. I don't think any prosecutor could bear what Miles did here. This is why Miles is the best!

And Phoenix knows Miles so well. He knew Miles was having a hard time.

And this what hits the most. There is the now and what comes after.

Still, Miles did everything he could to help.

Miles did awesome!

And he's soooo adorable! Just the complement is way beyond words.

[yes0another0outsiders0blog]

SFW Alphabet : Dallas Winston

mostly SFW, mention of sex in cuddles and hickeys in jealousy

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Not very affectionate at all. Sees it as weak and stupid. Any physical affection is a display of ownership, basically only done to remind people that you're his and no one else can touch you. Usually just a hand in your pocket or around your waist.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

It would most likely start because he's hitting on you and you shoot back with something clever or surprisingly genuine. If he's saying nasty shit to you and you don't get too upset, but you actually take it and prove that you can actually twist it into a worthwhile conversation, he'll probably talk to you more and the more yall talk the more he'd actually start to enjoy you. It's all work on your side, prove to him why he should see you as a person and not just entertainment. If you would even care to get past the original phase of blatant disrespect.

Once you're close, friendship is pretty wild. Lots of ups-and-downs. Doing stupid shit together like trespassing (and getting caught), drinking, a lot of banter and friendly flirting, etc. He's still going to say you guys just know each other, that yall are hardly even friends, but you know damn well that it's your house he goes to when he doesn't want to tell the gang that he didn't get injured from the barfight that he got in but he very much did break his hand drunkenly punching the wall after.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Doesn't like cuddles at all, might pull you onto his lap if he's trying to show you off but that's it. The only time he'd properly cuddle is post-sex. Then, he'll let you lay on his chest as he plays with your hair a bit before he drifts off.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Cannot clean for the life of him. Cannot cook. Only eats restaurant food or, like, canned food that he doesn't even bother to heat up and white bread when he has to fend for himself. Won't starve, but "making dinner" means a plain lunch meat sandwich.

Sees settling down as a luxury that he isn't made for. Doesn't even entertain the thought, sees himself as someone that'll never stay in one place long enough to settle down. But wants to, in a weird way. Again, it's a luxury.

No matter how "settled" he gets, his survival instincts are always going to override it and he'll always be ready to leave "just in case," but he does crave having a home. He does prefer to stay in one place, he prefers to stay with the gang, he'd prefer to have a place to stay that's his own, when he's in a relationship he'd prefer to stay together. It would be nice. He just knows that things don't work out like that for him (made worse by his self-sabotaging tendencies), it's a luxury that he's never had and when he does get even a taste of it it's so uncomfortable and scary and he doesn't know what to do with it.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

The breakups themselves are screaming matches, things get thrown, they're intense. A ton of anger from both sides, it's a big deal in the moment. After, Dally almost instantly ghosts his now-ex and acts like they didn't mean anything to him to begin with. Now that he's in a more permanent place he wouldn't, but he has been known to just leave town after a breakup because he just doesn't want to see "some bitch that screwed him over" ever again.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Would never want to get married, never would, not his thing. I don't think he'd actively try to be committed in any way, he needs to feel like he could easily go back to being on his own and doesn't like things getting in the way of that. No matter how good/stable life gets for him, Dally needs to know that if he HAS to leave it all behind again he could.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

In the negatives, not at all.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Hates hugs, like everything else even slightly lovey.

When you really need a hug, they're quick side-hugs. Really awkward, you probably have to ask for it and it's, like, a chore that he's only doing because he cares about you. You're distressed, you said a hug would help, so let's get this over with.

Other times, if you try to go in for a hug as a greeting or something, he'll either use it as an excuse to grope you and lowkey hoping that it makes you pull away real fast or he'll just stand there waiting for you to stop. If it lasts any longer than a few seconds, Dally's pushing you away and asking what the hell all that was even about.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Will never say it. Absolutely never, no matter how much he does start to love you, will he say it out loud. Love is such a weakness to him, something that he cannot afford to have, something that will destroy him. Loving someone would be so detrimental to the image that he has become to survive, and survival is all he knows. Love, and admitting to love, would be a death sentence for him.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Dallas gets very jealous. He makes it very clear that you're his through marking you in any way possible. When he's around, his hand is in your pocket. When he's not, you're wearing his stuff. His ring, of course. If he feels overly paranoid/jealous then you're getting his jacket for a bit and you aren't taking it off no matter how warm you get. If some guy was getting too friendly with you at the last party, you'll be covered in hickeys at the next one.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Rough, quick, and territorial. PDA is not really Dally's thing, affection even less so. A kiss is usually to mark you in front of others. Someone's staring at you for too long? Dal practically smashes his face into yours, or maybe your neck, before keeping a hand in your back pocket or around your waist for the rest of the night.

Privately, kisses are equally as rough, usually progressing into makeout sessions and more.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Hates kids, doesn't even try to be good with children. Actively bullies children, if any kid is even SLIGHTLY above "child just existing" level of annoying Dallas is going to beat them out of existence. Even when he's doing his very, utmost best to be good with kids (which wouldn't happen, but in the unrealistic scenario where he WOULD try) he's still the type of person to tell them to put their hand on a hot stove or something.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Dally wakes up late as hell unless someone wakes him up. Nothing is important enough to set an alarm for, if someone needs him they can wake his ass up. He'll complain about it so much, too. He prefers morning showers to night showers, so he'll take one "as needed" (in his very bias and fairly nasty opinion, every few days unless he does something that gets him particularly gross), throw on whatever clothes are closest, and follow you around as you get ready while he rants about random bullshit and makes endless dirty comments.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Probably quick. Most late evenings are spent at a drive-in or one of Buck's parties, or hanging out with the gang. Y'all don't get back until pretty late. Sometimes things get spicy from there, but this is the sfw alphabet so let's pretend you don't on this night. It's usually just a throw on pajamas/strip down to underwear, crawl into bed, and pass out for the night kind of thing.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Very slowly, very gradually, and almost never intentionally. Most things come out in "this reminds me of one time when..." type of stories. He'll mention something once and never again. If you want to know anything about this man you need to just pay attention to every passing comment and remember.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Very easy to anger and even easier to annoy. Will turn nothing into a big thing. Complains about every stupid little thing. Things go from "just joking" to a fight at random, and it's not at all consistent.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Dal remembers more than he'll admit. Won't reference things you said, but won't forget either. Thinks it's cheesy and would make him look like he cares too much if he actually mentioned remembering anything you say.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Getting to just watch you. Watching you do your hobbies, watching you at a party. Whenever you aren't looking. Seeing you and knowing that you're his and that, at least for the time being, you are stable and consistent and real and there. No particular time is his favorite, just watching you when you are passionate about something.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Very protective. Nobody is going to touch you. He will kick anyone's ass for even glancing at you, you are his and everyone is going to know.

Obviously, he'd DESPISE if you tried to protect him in any way because he can take care of himself. It's moreso protecting him emotionally/mentally, and you have to be subtle about it because if he gets so much as the slightest vibe that you're actively trying to take care of him it's a fight. But protecting him from himself, subtly talking him down from a fight, distracting him from doing something impulsively self-destructive, tricking him into caring about things? Necessary. He doesn't even consciously know you're doing it, but he (and honestly everyone else) does appreciate what you do, even if not actively.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Around average, a bit below. Anniversaries are probably completely forgotten/ignored unless you remind him. Dates are usually just going to parties or the drive-in, but they're frequent and he will be sure that he brings you along whenever he goes. Gifts are hit or miss. He'll steal you a blade so you can protect yourself when he's not around, or think to grab you a drink if he's heading that way anyway, or will always say yes when you ask to bum a cig off of him, but you aren't getting anything special. Everyday tasks are minimal. Again, he'll get you a drink if he's up anyway or will probably do random little things VERY sporadically. Like, that thing that's been broken for months that you've been asking Dal to fix? Took a half a year and for you to literally forget about it/give up asking, but the second you aren't nagging about it he will get around to it. (Partially because I headcanon him to have MAJOR pathological demand avoidance along with his general hatred for authority, so he's mainly not getting shit done BECAUSE you're asking)

He does try a bit. Harder than he ever would for anyone else, at least. He's just not very good at caring about people so the results are... lacking. He's doing what he would probably do without you, but now you're there too.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Just some?? Uh, let's see... Defensive as hell over the stupidest things, literally will not take criticism or admit to being wrong, physical altercations usually ensue over it. Believes he doesn't have any feelings whatsoever, anything proves him wrong and he's instantly angry about it and distancing himself as far as he can from whatever it is, he will ghost you in an instant if he starts catching feels. Insecure as all hell but, again, so violently defensive about everything that he'll never admit it or work on it. Irresponsible and impulsive. I could go on forever.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Very, but in the sense of looking tough rather than attractive. He looks like absolutely shit and doesn't care in the slightest, ugly as hell and if I catch anyone making Dallas Winston conventionally hot we are throwing hands. But you will not see this man looking weak or gentle or soft if he has anything to do with it.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Honestly, probably!! Not something you'd EVER catch him saying, I don't think that Dally would ever be a soft boyfriend. But I also think that if he's actually got feelings for you then he'd *try* to do better as a person in general and in a long-term relationship he'd probably gradually change enough that he'd be lost without you. You'd make him more human. Not a good human, mind you, but definitely more human.

You're a much needed safespace and moral guide for him in a lot of cases. He'll go on about how he's lived without you before and can do it again no problem, but it would honestly take a lot from him if he had to.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

OH, a TON. But, sticking to one... He can play piano pretty damn well. Tells absolutely no one, you can't torture this information out of this man, but growing up his mother was AMAZING at piano and between her pretty hard-core drug addiction and how abusive his father was some of Dally's only positive memories from childhood are learning to play piano from her. If it's available, he'll still practice, but it is NOT easy to get access to a piano without anyone knowing so he's more than a bit rusty.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Anything that he considers to be "weak," anything soft. Mostly due to personal insecurity. Man's the epitome of toxic masculinity, anything that doesn't fit that honestly kind of intimidates him (though he wouldn't admit that, he'd just say it's stupid or something).

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Sleeps like a cat. Often, but usually super lightly. If he does get into a good, deep sleep then he could be mistaken for dead. Opens his eyes at the slightest sound, but drifts back off well. Switches between sleeping on his stomach and his back, never a side sleeper.

[your-enby-antihero]

Aelwyn Abernant Might Go Blue Dragon(born) Hunting

———————————————————————— Summary: What if The Rat Grinders got revivified and Oisin had a crush on Adaine. Well more so what if Aelwyn knew all the shit he put Adaine through and she wanted to send a message.

Also available on Ao3

————————————————————————

Aelwyn Abernant, a woman reformed, hadn’t thought of murder in like two weeks. Which honestly was a super big deal for her, had she done a shit ton of extorting and taken like six people’s bones to try and find the one pirate in Leviathan that dies if you pull out their bones, well maybe. But who can blame her? It's how she was raised. But now she was starting to slip back into old habits. 

The whole world was saved once again by her beautiful baby sister and the rest of The Bad Kids. Aguefort had come back and fixed all the weird shit that had happened, though the school was closed for the rest of the year so everyone just had to take the Last Stand to try to pass the year. But one of the many unfortunate things that happened, in Aelwyn’s opinion, was that those stupid Rat Grinders were revived. Adaine had said something about second chances and manipulation and corrupt adults and blah blah blah whatever. Something about them failing the year and doing remedial classes monitored by the Bad Kids to make it up or you know. Aelwyn knew all about villain reformation, being a reformed villain herself, but something about the Rat Grinders set her teeth on edge. Especially that waifish nerdy-looking Dragonborn, he was giving Adaine a look that Aelwyn found disturbing. Aelwyn was well aware of Adaine’s fleeting crush on the boy, though, after the whole Porter-Ankarna debacle, she was so very sure that the crush had faded. Even when Aelwyn tried to tease her about it Adaine looked absolutely disgusted.

“Why the fuck would I fancy some old money turncoat? He literally was just using any affection I had for him to end the fucking world. I’d punch that spoiled bitch in the face again just like I did with the dragons he sent to ruin Fabian’s birthday,” she spat.

It started over that summer, Adaine and some of the Bad Kids had taken to “tutoring” the Rat Grinders on how to adventure properly. Adaine had brought Oisin over to the tower in Mordred to discuss some sort of thing to do with Adaine’s mephits, the ‘Dry Guys’ if Aelwyn recalled correctly. Before she had left for work Aelwyn had made sure to bolster the Nemesis ward in Adaine’s room before she left. She would not be having that boy mess with her baby sister, not in a millenia. Aelwyn spent the next hours of her shift at the Compass Points feeling the arcana of the ward for anything amiss. Though she felt nothing that didn’t stop her from texting Zayn to peek in on Adaine and Oisin to see if he was pulling any funny business. She received a photo back from the ghostly fellow of Adaine looking down at a piece of parchment on the floor of their shared room, quill tip set between her teeth in concentration. Next to her was Oisin, who sat cross-legged with his face leaning up against his clawed hand gazing doe-eyed at her sister. God, Aelwyn could see that look that now followed Fabian whenever he talked about Mazey. She looked at the clock and decided that the library would just close early that day because she had a pest to scare.

As she walked through the door back into Mordred she was greeted by Sandra-Lynn and Jawbone before she stormed up to the tower, rocketing past Fig and Kristen who coincidentally were also spying on Adaine. As she walked through the door she did so calmly, years of repressing any feelings other than jealousy and pettiness really did give her a good resting bitch face. 

“Adaine, I see you have a guest over,” she smiled, though the glare she was giving Oisin was anything but subtle. 

Adaine of course shot her a dirty look as Oisin’s scaled face blushed purple, “Aelwyn I thought you were working late tonight. I didn’t expect you to be back so early with Ayda not being there to run it today?” 

“Adaine you’re so funny, dear sister. Now let me have a look at this spellcraft, you know I’ve always been so good with these things.”

Aelwyn sat down with the two, purposely placing herself in between the teens. Adaine had taken it in stride, literally nothing about the interaction changed for her. Aelwyn truly just joined in on their spell crafting, she could tell Adaine was grateful for the extra set of eyes. However, Oisin was notably more shut off. He really kind of just ignored Aelwyn, trying to lean in toward Adaine when he was asking questions about Adaine’s rune work. The night went well otherwise, she had successfully defended her sister from the boy clearly all moony eyed over her. 

As Adaine sees Oisin out the door Fig and Kristen both leap at Aelwyn in the halls.

“So what happened in there Aelwyn, why did you come home early? What. Did. He. Do.”

She is bombarded with all the possible questions and observations that Fig and Kristen had made and in return dishes out all that she noticed back. She hadn’t remembered the last time someone had fancied Adaine but Kristen and Fig did. Apparently, the last person was that freak Biz Gilitterdew. Aelwyn shuttered in disgust and mentally noted to take a trip down to Hell to kill the tiny little pipsqueak basement scum for trying to put the moves in her sister even when they hated each other and she was evil at the time. She also got the download about all the history with Oisin that Adaine had conveniently left out when Aelwyn had pressed to know about the boy her sister fancied. So to say that Aelwyn was contemplating hunting Dragonborn for fun wasn’t a lie. From what she got from Fig and Kristen was that Oisin had used the cover of being a love-struck idiot (or maybe he was a love-struck idiot) to lead Adaine on so that he could plan a bunch of arcane whatever to make Seacaster Manor go airborne. Then after he had supposedly tried to cover for his friend for being assholes and then killed one of his party members he had said that she ‘must not be a very good oracle’ because she didn’t forecast that there was going to be a storm at Fabian’s birthday. Now that was something that Aelwyn could not forgive, not only was she the only one who was allowed to tease her sister about oracle things but he wasn’t allowed to say those exact words to Adaine, especially about storms and oceans. Aelwyn knew what Adaine saw in the Nightmare King’s forest and she knew that anything about the previous oracle and storms haunted her sister. 

Adaine soon made her way back up to where the little cabal of the girls of Mordred Manor had been gossiping. She yelled indignantly and threw a book at Fig when she started teasing. Aelwyn could tell from the look on her sister’s face and her voice, no hot flush or any enamoured quiver in her voice, that she really had gotten over Oisin completely and that this was all just in the name of sister bonding.  

“Kristen was the one who said we should try to fix the Rat Grinders, I’m just doing this so that they won’t join another teacher’s weird cult,” Adaine shouted indignantly. 

— — — — — — — — — — — —

It had been many weeks since Oisin had started to come over for tutoring, of course, the ever patient Adaine Abernant was gracious to the fool even while he was literally (to Aelwyn) staring at her like a lost puppy. Aelwyn made a habit of always crashing their little study sessions. Sometimes it was a text to Adaine telling her to get away so that she could gossip and other times it was Aelwyn straight up just coming home early. 

Every time Oisin gave her a smile that she could tell was laced with the ‘you ruined my life’ vibes, not that he’ll ever be able to pull off that smile like Penelope Everpetal. He was always polite but always insisted that he and Adaine were fine on their own.

“I’m sure you have so much stuff to do, me and Adaine have got this one.”

“Oh I’m sure my sister has everything under control but you seem to be lacking- I mean look at your rune for conjure elementals. This linework- here let me.”

Most of their interactions were passive-aggressive at best and outright venomous at best, Aelwyn had offered to see Oisin out one night, and Adaine had to take care of business relating to Gilear and some cursed object he had found at a yard sale. 

“Sorry Oisin, good work today! By next time I’m sure your party is going to be fine during the Last Stand,” Adaine shouted as Fig was literally pulling her out the door.

The room was silent, just Aelwyn perched on her bottom bunk holding Boggy in her hands. Oisin got up and started to pack his things, heading for the door. As he did, clawed hand on the doorknob to leave. With a click, Aelywn pushed the door closed with a mage hand.

“Hakinvar, you and I have something to discuss.”

Aelwyn didn’t look up, her eyes glowed as did the runes she had lovingly, carefully painted onto the floor. Oisin didn’t move, frozen in fear as he let out slow fearful breaths. 

Aelwyn set Boggy down, scritching under what she assumed was the frog orb’s chin, and motioned for Oisin to move away from the door. He did. Stiff as only a body once caught by rigour mortis could. He faced Aelwyn, just slightly taller than her due to his ancestry. 

“I can see you getting all ensorcelled by our dear oracle but as her older evil sister, I will have to intervene. You know the last guy who messed with her had his fingers shot off by her little rouge friend. I heard that Gorgug cleaved your ass into two. They brought you back because they are good moral people. Had it been up to me, well I’m sure you know I worked with Kalvaxus and The Nightmare King so I’m sure such a capable wizard like you could figure it out. I know what you’ve said to her, what you’ve done to her, and I’ll have you know that I can be very tricky if you cross me.”

She draws her fingers along the ground tracing the nemesis ward with a manicured hand.

“You are aware of what this ward means, yes?”

“Yes, I know what you mean,” Oisin finally replied.

Aelwyn smiled, “Good then I’m sure you’ll be far more careful in future when it comes to that blabbering mouth,” she allowed the glow to cease, picking up Boggy as she rose. 

Oisin practically bolted out of the room, nodding as he collected his gear. Aelwyn nuzzled the perfect familiar as she followed. Good, always good for people to know their place.

[ashwhowrites]

Continuing with the Guts project! I wanted to inform everyone that this project is not connected. Simply writing fics based on the songs, they do not overlap or tell a story together. I hope you enjoy this back-and-forth love/hate relationship. More Guts to come...

I met a guy in the summer and I left him in the spring He argued with me about everything He had an ego and a temper and a wandering eye He said he's six-foot-two, and I'm like, "Dude, nice try" But he was so much fun and he had such weird friends And he would take us out to parties and the night would never end Another song, another club, another bar, another dance And when he said something wrong, he'd just fly me to France So I miss him some nights when I'm feeling depressed 'Til I remember every time he made a pass on my friend Do I love him? Do I hate him? I guess it's up and down

Y/N knew throughout all the time she and Eddie were together, there was no way it would last in the long run. He was a rockstar and lived in the spotlight. They hooked up after a show and before she knew it, it was happening again and again.

Somehow an actual relationship sparked and she was thrown into the life of dating someone famous. It was a wild rollercoaster that never seemed to end.

The late shows, and speeding through city after city. But the more she was around Eddie and his rockstar life, the more she realized she couldn't stand the guy.

Eddie had this massive ego because of the amount of money in his wallet. With his ego, he tends to believe he is right about everything. Argument after argument he declared his way was never wrong. He didn't kiss the girl, she fell into him. He didn't stare at the waitress, she had a spill on her low-cut shirt. Y/N could never win.

But there were positives to dating Eddie. The party life that she grew to enjoy. The loud music and busy bars. She met tons of other celebrities and became friends with a few. Eddie knew how to be the life of the party, and Y/N loved tagging along. They never saw the same bar twice, each day was a new bar or a new club.

And when Eddie truly fucked up, he knew exactly how to sweet talk himself back in the right. The gifts, the jewelry, and the trips. She got blinded by the lengths he'd go to make it right to realize he did everything but apologize. But hey, she made it to France.

Now that she finally pulled the plug, she couldn't tell if it was the right or wrong thing to do. Because some nights when she sat alone in her big bed and scrolled through the TV, she missed him. She missed being out and dancing the night away in his arms. But then she thinks about all the times he's made a pass at her friends and can't help but punch the spot he used to lay. He tugged her heart in so many directions and she didn't know which path to follow.

She couldn't tell if she loved or hated him anymore.

I wanna get him back I wanna make him really jealous, wanna make him feel bad Oh, I wanna get him back 'Cause then again, I really miss him, and it makes me real sad Oh, I want sweet revenge And I want him again I want to get him back, back, back

As the word spread that Eddie and Y/N were done, she had hundreds of messages. Some were friends asking how she was, and the others wanted to know when she was free to hook up.

And honestly? Right now she wanted to get Eddie back. She wanted to make him so jealous that he'd hate himself for the breakup. She wore her tightest and shortest dress, and used her best makeup products and her best heels. Then she went out the door to make Eddie's life hell.

She lost count of how many boys she kissed as the alcohol pumped through her body. Cameras flashed everywhere and she knew Eddie couldn't escape this. And she was right.

Barely took a full day before Eddie was pounding at her door.

"Can I help you?" She asked, a sick smirk on her face.

Eddie had her slammed against the door before she could blink. His hot hands burned her skin as he went up and down her body. Her small sleep shorts were at her ankles and his jeans were tugged down.

"Think you look hot whoring around town? Putting on a little show?" Eddie growled, his body banging hers into the door as he fucked himself inside of her.

She clawed at his back and moved her hips.

"If I wasn't so hot, you wouldn't be here right now." She added fuel to the fire. His fingertips bruised her skin and his teeth sunk into her neck. The way he fucked her like an animal was well worth the revenge.

"So you like being a little slut hm? Well, not anymore. No more letting guys taste what's mine."

His tongue fought against hers as she let him have her. And she let him have her for hours and hours. Until they landed in her bed, covered in sweat and panting.

She moved her tired body into his arms, her head on his damp chest, and traced his tattoos.

"I get sad when I miss you." She admitted into his skin. His fingers ran through her sweaty hair.

"I miss you too, I'm here now." He said sweetly as he cupped her jaw and kissed her slowly.

So I write him all these letters and I throw them in the trash 'Cause I miss the way he kisses and the way he made me laugh Yeah, I pour my little heart out, but as I'm hitting "Send" I picture all the faces of my disappointed friends Because everyone knew all of the shit that he'd do He said I was the only girl but that just wasn't the truth And when I told him how he hurt me, he'd tell me I was trippin'

Before she knew it she was back under his spell. She tore her hair out as he didn't answer her calls. She knew this would happen. She'd crawl back to him and he'd disappear and make her crawl back again.

And there she was again, she lost count of how many times she sat typing the same message over and over. Claiming to be done, claiming to be worth so much more, and claiming to never see him again. But she never brought herself to send it because she didn't want to. She didn't want the reality of closing him off for good. She loved the way he kissed her and how hard he made her laugh. She loved it when he cared and put effort into her. If she gave up because of the bad, she lost the good.

So she did the opposite. She texted him and begged him to come back. She poured out her heart about the love she had for him and the happy ending she desperately clung on to.

But then she pictured all her friends and how disappointed they'd be that she was here again.

"I swear this is the last time I'll text him!" Y/N defended, she sat on her best friends bed. Her friend looked at her with a sad look.

"It's never the last time." A disapproving tone in her voice as she shut Y/N's phone off.

Her friends never liked Eddie and for valid reasons. The amount of times he cheated on Y/N was impossible to remember. She spent many nights crying in her friend's arms and drinking her relationship away. But when he'd tell her that she was truly the only girl he wanted and that he always found himself coming right back to her, it sucked her right back in. She felt wanted and needed. How could she leave that?

Oh, I wanna key his car (I want to get him back)

Another fight ended in another round of tears. Y/N wasn't sure how many times Eddie could break her heart. A new magazine with a new girl on Eddie's arm. A smug look on his face, with lipstick on his neck. Y/N was done with her name being dragged in the mud.

With a few liquid shots of courage, Y/N sped over to Eddie's big house with his stupid expensive cars. She pounded in the gate code and then grabbed her car keys as it opened. She didn't care about the paparazzi or his security cameras. She wanted to get him back.

Y/N felt a rush of adrenaline running through her as she dragged her sharp key against the red paint on Eddie's car. The sound was unforgiving but she kept going. She keyed and keyed his car. She keyed until she felt satisfied with the damage she had done.

She keyed her initials on the hood.

"ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY?" Eddie yelled, a towel around his waist as he raced out of his car. Y/N could tell he was in the shower. His hair was wet and droplets dripped down his chest. But all she could think about was the skank he left with.

"YOU FUCKED ME UP! YOU MADE ME CRAZY. YOU CHEATING NO GOOD SCUMBAG!"

Luckily for her Eddie didn't press charges. Sadly, he was rich and got his car fixed by the morning. But she still felt good seeing it all across the front page.

I wanna break his heart (but then I, I want to get him back) Stitch it right back up

Y/N wanted to drag Eddie back in so she could be the one to tear his heart apart. She wanted to break down his confidence until he was a shell of a man.

But then seeing him with puppy eyes and a pout broke her. All she wanted to do was wrap her arms around him and put him back together again. She loved that she was the only one who knew how to fix him, it was her only advantage.

I wanna kiss his face (I want to get him back) With an uppercut

It's been weeks since Y/N has seen Eddie and the distance was killing her. She knew it was best to stay broken up, but every time she thought of him she wanted to kiss his skin. She wanted to be cuddled in his arms and feel his love moving inside of her.

But then she sees him with a new girl every week. The breakup did not fazing him as he lived his life the same way he always did. Nothing changed for him and she hated it.

She wanted to uppercut his jaw, bruise his eye, and bust his lip open.

I'll get him, I'll get him, I'll get him, I'll get him back Get him back, come on, come on I'm gonna get him so good, he won't even know what hit him He's gonna love me and hate me at the same time Get him back, girl, you better get him back I don't know I got him good, I got him really good

It took months, but Y/N figured out the best way to get back at Eddie, moving on.

Y/N finally healed herself from the attacks by Eddie and found someone new. A boy who truly cared and didn't spend all his time hurting her. He loved her, treasured her, and loved to show her off. He was in the public eye, but she didn't mind. For once she was being seen as someone loveable.

Eddie had a lot to say about their breakup to the press. Her moving on hit him hard and that was exactly what she wanted. He was so torn up about it that he hasn't been seen with anyone since.

He chased and chased but she never turned back around.

Finally, Eddie was in the past and that was where he would stay.

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93 @gretavankleep37 @bellaisswagger @arlxt

[mostlikelymortal]

I’m generally pretty apathetic towards shows/books/etc that draw heavily on flashbacks to tell their story. There are so many novels that flip between the past and present, sometimes for chapters at a time; it provokes such a disjointed and frustrating tone because authors want to effectively write two stories at once, all for things to suddenly “make sense” at the very end. It’s a writing mechanic that I really wish people used less, or at very least, better. Which is why I was so taken aback by how much I adored it while watching Frieren.

I honestly thought a lot about the reasoning for why it worked in this instance - I could name a dozen IPs that used flashbacks in a similar manner to lesser effect. Whether it’s to try and evoke an emotion, without so much as informing ANYTHING new about the characters (ex that damned swing in Naruto), or telling a side-by-side story that informs plot points and character motivations, like uncovering a mystery one clue at a time. It strikes a delicate balance, because while you want to inform your audience about all this backstory and emotional baggage your characters have, it can VERY easily be overused to the point where the audience experiences a type of flashback vertigo. The last thing you want to do is make your watchers yawn and skip forward to see your protagonist perform their big attack without all the emotional buildup you were trying to set up. But with Frieren, nearly every flashback is done in a way that is succinct, to the point, and tries to get back to the story at hand as soon as possible. Sometimes it’s to set up a joke (mimics), sometimes it’s to foreshadow a detail to be drawn on that episode, or even an episode in the future (sour grapes), but they all have only so much narrative/emotional purpose to give us context and then move on. Sure, there are some longer looks back to explain more critical aspects of Frieren’s history/power levels/etc, but they reward the watcher either with new lore or character dynamics or whatever, and those ALL pay off in interesting ways.

And then there’s Himmel. We all know IPs that try and pull the dead lover card for a cheap emotional gut punch, but this story approaches it in such a refreshing way. Because, due to the fact that your titular character is actively trying to learn more about humans and be more present in their lives, you’re actively joining her in recalling memories that accomplishes that very thing, and the payoff of showing you just how Frieren now responds to situations informed by those memories feels naturally cathartic. You’re discovering right by her side that these people (Himmel especially) DID change her for the better, and that discovery evokes in the audience the same catharsis she feels whenever she quotes her old party’s wisdom, or smiles with the realization of how much they cared for her. And that’s a really refreshing feeling that you just don’t get in a lot of media.

This story is a wonderful thing for a lot of reasons, which a ton of people are all raving at better than I can honestly put to words. But I think it’s worth noting how it utilized flashbacks so often, but also so effectively. Maybe a lesson for writers who are hoping to convey a similar effect.

[letters-to-rosie]

Minutes to Midnight is seriously and envy-inducingly good! But I just want to say that, when you said "one shot of all time", my mind immediately went to you've got your demons, and darling, they all look like me. And then I got reminded of why it's my personal favorite (other than it being plain good, ofc): the summary. A well-written fic is a well-written fic, obviously, but the perfect summary really adds to the experience. Like how it catches your eye and makes your heart race because you know that an author who can write such a summary... well. They also can and probably did write a fic that blows your clothes off and turns them inside out before sending them to the hamper. It's about the anticipation.

Ahem, so anyway. I started thinking about how few words one needs to evoke an emotional response, and I wanted to share my excitement about that.

ahhhh thanks for the recommendation!!

I'mma use this as a little bit more time to gush over Minutes to Midnight just because, and then gush over you've got your demons as well because oh man. thank you for sending it my way!!

Ekko is my favorite character, but I am also a big fan of making him Worse, and I love how Minutes to Midnight does it in a way that feels so authentic. like I can extrapolate him right away from what we see in the show. and this is the only fic I can think of that really takes it to such an extreme, but again it's done so compellingly that it really feels like a Jinx version of Ekko, even if Jinx remains similarly filled with rage. there are just so many lines I love and I could list them all day but when it culminates at the end, tying together the time themes and the regret and the betrayal it's just... I love it so much

one line for fun: She’s bleeding, choking, underneath him, and he hits her, and hits her, don’t you get it, I could have done this anytime I wanted but I didn’t, I didn’t, I gave you my life and you threw it back in my face, even as she claws at him alley-cat-desperate.

every time I read it, I'm just in my room, actually screaming lol

and now for you've got your demons!!!!

there were also a ton of lines I could have pulled out but then we'd be here all day but

Dark against light - though the light has always been Ekko. i cry She chose him long before he chose her. i cry endlessly Powder never asks Vi her favorite color, because she doesn’t know what she’d do if she didn’t say the same thing Ekko did. a never-ending stream

but man it's just so stunning. like you said, I love how few words it uses to get its story across. getting to read prose that packs that sort of punch is always so special. Powder/Jinx is just so relatable and you really feel her struggles come through. her tangle of confusion and not getting things like marriage really resonated with my ace self (and I always enjoy an ace-spec Jinx). but her crush was so precious I just wanted to hug her and let her be happy with Ekko and maybe my delusional ass can imagine that they are someday in that fic universe lol

and the way the summary gets entirely recontextualized at the end????? INCREDIBLE truly a one-shot of all time. we have to make it an indefinite article now lmao

I got super lucky because the author of "you've got your demons" wrote my gift for the secret santa we just had!! that fic is called Moonlight Refuge and let me tell you if it didn't convey every emotion I wanted, which is the "I should want nothing to do with you but I can't help myself" part of timebomb, and in this one it's mutual and just fantastic. I spent like half my comment writing AHHH because the emotions were just everywhere it was a good time

also hi @cranechel we're in the corner gushing over your fic... I will leave a comment soon but wanted to answer this lol

[x0xqzra]

✐FADE❦ - Oikawa Tooru x Gender Neutral Reader

TW: crying, pure angst , gender neutral reader

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Third Person's point of view

Oikawa Tooru and you had been inseparable best friends for years. You shared secrets, dreams, and countless memories.

One day, Tooru surprised you by confessing his feelings and asking you to be his lover. Even though you are hesitant, you were overjoyed and said yes.

Your point of view

Oikawa Tooru and I had been best friends for years, sharing countless memories and inside jokes. Our relationship felt unbreakable, and being with him was always a source of happiness.

One day, out of nowhere, Oikawa took me by surprise. We were sitting on his couch, watching our favorite TV show, when he turned to me, his expression serious.

"Hey..." he began, his voice mixed with with nervousness. 

"There's something I've been wanting to talk to you about."

My heart raced as I looked into his deep, genuine eyes. "What is it, Tooru?"

He took a deep breath. "I... I've realized you mean more to me than just a friend... Will you be my lover?"

Third person's point of view

At first, your relationship grew, filled with laughter and happy moments. But as time went on, subtle changes appeared. 

Tooru stopped doing the little things he used to do for you. He stopped handing you the things you can't reach, he stopped getting you flowers, dates became rare, and other thoughtful gestures faded.

You could feel the frustration building up inside you. You felt the space between you and Tooru growing, like a crack in the strong bond you used to have. 

You really missed those late-night chats and the happiness of just hanging out together. But now, his actions felt louder than anything he could say, slowly creating a big gap between you two.

It left you feeling abandoned and not sure how to show that you are hurt without messing up that little connection you had left. The more he pulled away, the more you shut down.

Your Point of View

Weeks went by, and my frustration kept building. Oikawa was different now, he's distant, almost like he doesn't love me anymore. 

He’d stopped doing even the little things, and those warm smiles had been replaced by this serious, closed-off look.

One evening, after yet another moment of him acting like he didn’t care, I couldn’t hold it in anymore.

“Tooru, what’s going on with you?” I snapped, my irritation spilling over.

He let out a sigh, not even looking at me. “I thought you’d get it. Guess I was wrong.”

My frustration flared into anger as I stared at him. “Get what? You’re acting like a completely different person!”

Tooru's Point of View

Her anger hurt me deep, and part of me wanted to tell her everything, but the fear of being pitied or seen differently held me back.

“It’s not that I don’t want to help you” I finally forced out, my voice unsteady. 

“I’m doing this because… you need to learn to stand on your own.”

It was a weak excuse, and I knew it. But I just couldn’t bring myself to say what was really going on.

Your Point of View

His words hit me like a ton of bricks, and a rush of anger surrounded me, knocking any calm I had left right out of me.

“Stand on my own? Really, Tooru? You think pushing me away, acting all cold and distant, is the way to do that?” I said angrily.

My voice cracked, but I didn’t care, I was too hurt to hide it. 

“We’re supposed to be a team, you know? We’re supposed to have each other’s backs, but all I see is you shutting me out when I need you most! I don’t understand why you’re acting like this.”

I looked at him, hoping he’d have something... anything to say to make this make sense. But he just stood there, staring at the floor, his silence adding to the pain in my chest .

Tooru's Point of View

I could see how frustrated she was, and it felt like a punch to the gut. I thought I was doing the right thing, but it only ended up hurting her. Tears started building up in my eyes when I saw the pain in hers.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N)..” I mumbled. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

The words just hung there, and instead of making things better, it just made the silence between us feel even heavier. Her face softened a little, her anger melting into something more sad than anything else when she noticed I was tearing up too.

“Tooru, just talk to me..” she said, her voice a lot gentler. 

“Let me in. We’re supposed to be in this together.” She reached out and held my hands, and even though I was scared of telling her the truth, the way she looked at me made it hard to keep holding back...

But in the end, I still chose to hide everything..

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Your Point of View

When I heard the news, it felt like the ground had been ripped out from under me. 

Oikawa Tooru... my boyfriend, my best friend, the person who is always be my number one fan... was gone, and I had this emptiness that I couldn’t even begin to describe.

The days before his funeral were just a mess of crying and not sleeping, everything is blurring together. 

And then the day finally came, and there I was, standing in front of his team, holding a thin of control just to get through it. My voice was already hoarse and breaking as I tried to keep it together.

“How long have you known?” I asked, my words coming out sharper than I meant. 

“How… how could you keep this from me?” Tears started streaming down my face as I read Tooru’s letter, every word like a new wave of grief hitting me all over again.

Tooru's Letter

My Dearest (Y/N),

If you’re reading this, then… well, I’m not around anymore. I’m sorry for everything I put you through recently. I know I should’ve just told you what was going on, but honestly, I was scared. 

I didn’t want to weigh you down with my own struggles, and I guess I was worried that if you saw that side of me, you’d think of me differently.

Please believe me when I say I never meant to hurt you. I thought maybe… if you learned to handle things on your own, it’d make things easier when I was gone. 

I know that sounds messed up, but it was all I could think of. I just wanted to say that every moment with you meant everything to me, and I loved you more than I can ever explain.

I want you to find happiness. Maybe someday, you’ll meet someone who treats you right and supports you the way I always do and wished to continue doing. And if they don’t, just know I’ll be haunting them to make sure they do! Because you deserve nothing less than that.

Don’t spend too long being sad over me, okay? Remember the laughs, the silly moments, and the love we had. Hold on to those memories, especially when things get tough.

I wish I could be there to tell you all this in person, to wipe your tears one more time. Life had other plans, but my love for you? It’s still here, way beyond life and death.

With all my love and apologies,

Tooru

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Feel free to ask, my vamps

MASTER LIST

[leafsgarbage]

leave before you love me | m.a.

A/N: It was hard to figure out how to go about this one

Synopsis: He doesn’t really want you to care for him and the little scars he hides so well

Genre: Band!AU, fluff, angst (duh)

Warnings: drug use, strip clubs, toxic relationship, 

Pairings: leadsinger!Atsumu x f!reader, timeskip!Atsumu x f!reader.

Main Masterlist

preview, 

“We’re going tomorrow night.” Mila says to you. She’s been raving about this band for the longest time. “Taro is opening for them!”

You pull up your head from the kitchen table, you got home 20 minutes ago from working at the club and your head hurts. She knows you love Taro which is why she used that against you. “Fine. I’m not working tomorrow anyway.”

She claps her hands together. “Maybe you could wear what you’re wearing now! Your bodysuit looks cute. Did they tip you for handing them drinks.”

You smile, remembering it was a busy Thursday. “Yea, a bachelor party came in, and although I think they’re absolute pigs, they do tip a shit ton.”

“Ugh, I wish, my shift starts at seven pm, and I finish at midnight so I’ll meet you at the club they’re performing at.” She looks at her watch and notices it’s about six am. “Agh, go to sleep ok, get some rest.”

“G’night.” You change out of your clothes, shower, and then you fall dead on your bed.

You hardly ever have dreams, but this time, you dreamt that you and Mila were somewhere better than a scruffy two bedroom apartment in the middle of Chicago. Despite the shitty apartment, you two had a wonderful view of the city, and that was about the nicest thing you had.

Working as a waitress definitely helped you be able to pay your rent and own a couple of nice things. You love the girls you met there, but you just aren’t sure if this is what you want to be doing forever. There was just never another option for you.

When you wake up its one in the afternoon. You have a long day before you have to meet up with Mila, so you clean the house, make breakfast, and get ready to head to the gym.

It’s about 5pm when you walk in and spot Kenma and Kuroo, your friends from the orphanage. “Hey!” You wave them down and Kuroo gives a big and bright smile while Kenma waves slightly. They own the gym chain after Kenma made a fortune doing what he loves and Kuroo was a good business partner. They’re like you and Mila, joint together. “I haven’t seen you guys around here in forever! What are you guys doing?”

“Monthly inspection at the gyms.” Kenma replies.

Kuroo spits and laughs. “There’s a band that this kid likes in town, so we decided to kill two birds with one stone.”

You think for a second. “Is it the Jaguars or something? Mila and I are going to that too, tonight.”

“It’s The Jackals,” Kenma corrects.

Kuroo points at Kenma then looks back at you. “Did you get reeled in because she said-”

“Taro was going to be there, yes I did.” You two laugh together. Kuroo introduced you to Taro, he’s very big and upcoming, but you assume The Jackals are too since so many people like them. “Do you guys wanna work out with me? Its leg day.”

The two of them cross their arms in an X and shake their heads. “Last time we did that, Kenma was bedridden, and my co-workers made fun of me, so no thank you Sweetie.”

You laugh and punch Kuroo’s shoulder, everyone at the orphanage called you a sweetheart, so Kuroo aptly nicknamed you Sweetie. “Alright you big babies, I’ll see you at the concert.” They wave goodbye and you get to work.

You pull up your workout playlist and decide to add some of The Jackals’s song that would fit your workout playlist. You add Hardest to Love, Starboy, When will I See You Again, and Gimme Love. The first song was upbeat and everything, but the message behind it was so sad. He’s singing how hard it must be to love him and he feels bad that the other person tries so hard and puts up a front to be with him. Obviously at the end, they eventually give up and he talks about how he knew this was going to happen.

Your heart clenches, but you continue to the next song. Starboy was even more upbeat that the last, but it was very accusatory. Like they were pointing a finger at someone and telling them ‘look what you did to me.’ You liked it.

When Will I See You Again was softer than the other two and it was sweet. Not as loud about their feelings as the other ones. It was just about holding someone close to them after them being away.

Then Gimme Love was about a relationship that was pretty doomed, but he can’t help but stay and try his best. He wants what they used to be, and even though it’s not good now, he can’t let go of them.

You listen to your regular playlist by Taro after you finish your squats and head to the leg press. You loved all his songs, but Psycho and Stay were your favorites, you just hoped he played them at his concert.

Once you finish up your workout its already 7pm. You head back home, eat dinner, and go shower again. You get ready in your concert clothes with your boots so your feet don’t die in the mosh. You also put on some makeup, jewelry, and perfume so you don’t smell too bad.

It’s 11pm once you finish and you rush out to get on the train. It’s about a 30-minute ride and you continue to listen to your Taro playlist, excited to see him so soon.

You get off on your stop and walk to the venue. It’s at an underground club in Chicago, they aren’t big artists yet, so the venues are smaller. You were there decently early, there were only about a handful of people so you grabbed a drink and sat at the bar.

You texted Mila to tell her were you were and she said she was leaving the club already. You texted Kuroo and he said they were driving and there was a crazy amount of traffic. So you just sat by yourself.

“Hey, can I get a blue moon.” The bartender cracks one open and hands it to him. “Thanks.”

You chuckle at the guy and he looks at you questioningly. “No orange?” You ask. Normally most people drink it with an orange.

He looks down at his drink and nods. “Didn’t feel like an orange kinda night.”

“I guess that’s fair.” You shrug and continue to sip on your drink.

“What about you, what are you drinking?”

You smile and nod your head. “Uh, sprite, ha.” The man chuckles.

He has a wonderful smile, you note, and his physique is quite impressive. “What are ya doin’ here so early? Big fan?”

“Um, my roommate told me to be here at midnight, so I like to be punctual.” You shrug

He nods in understanding and begins to take a seat next to you. “What’s yer name?”

You tell him. “You can just call me Sweetie. What about you?”

His eyes widen and you don’t know what you did wrong. “So, you came here, just for yer roommate, not cause you know the band that’s playin’ tonight?”

You shake your head. “I know Taro, and I just started listening to a few of the The Jackals’s songs today.”

He sets his beer down on the table and crosses his arms. “And which of their songs are yer favorite right now?”

You hum and think for a bit. “I think it’s Hardest to Love. I liked the openness of it. How he understands that he’s not easy to handle, but that he did love the person and he wishes he could have fixed it if only he knew how. I think it’s a pretty message and relatable. Shit happens, and you never know how to handle every situation.”

At the time you didn’t hear it, but he lets out a breath and then just smiles at you. “Wow, you really analyze songs a lot.”

You smile sheepishly and drink your soda. “I really like music, so I’m never opposed to listening to new artists.”

“That’s good to know.” He finishes the last of his beer and gets up. “I gotta run, but you enjoy the show.” You wave back about to ask for his name, but he’s already gone.

Not long after, Mila, Kuroo and Kenma show up. The four of you make your way to the front, and since you were there early, everything worked out. “Gahh I’m so excited Sweetie!”

“Me too! I’m so excited for Taro.” You and Kuroo fist bump and wait impatiently.

An MC comes out on stage to introduce. “How are all you gorgeous people doin’ tonight.” There’s a bunch of woo’s and yea’s coming from the crowd. “I won’t take up too much of your time, so first up we got Taro-” the crowd screams, you and Kuroo are among them. “Alright settle down, he’s performing four songs for you today. Then The Jackals will come in as your main set.”

Everyone claps and waits for the MC to finish. “Without further ado… make some noise for TARO!”

You and Kuroo are screeching, clapping your hands together. Taro comes out in some chains, a mesh shirt which has everyone going apeshit, sneakers, and a bucket hat. Everyone’s still screaming by the time he gets to the mic. “Alright, shut up you fucks.”

Everyone laughs and a few people scream ‘we love you Taro!’

He laughs into the mic and nods. “Yea I love you guys too. Now let’s get this going, what song are we thinking?”

Your mouth moves before you could even think. “PSYCHO!” You screech, but then get embarrassed after realizing how loud you were.

He laughs again, grabbing the mic off the stand and squats down in front of you. “Fitting, since you’re all a bunch of little psychos.” He rubs the top of your head with his hand and gets up. “Let’s get it.”

You die internally because holy shit, Taro touched you. You don’t have time to bask in it though because his number starts and you and Kuroo need to go crazy for it. He starts, “Yea my AP goin’ psycho…”

Taro’s numbers are to die for and everyone is having a great time. Before you know it, he’s on his last song of the night. “It’s been fun you guys, so let’s end it with Stay.”

You want to cry because that’s all you wanted. When he gets to the chorus, you and Kuroo yell, “but don’t count on me to stay!”

Taro finishes up and you’re sad to see him go. “Thank you Chicago! I’ll miss my hometown. We’ll see each other soon.” He winks at the crowd and you all cheer him off.

The MC comes back as the people behind him change up the set. “Alright, and our main set. Everyone, please welcome in The Jackals!” Mila is jumping and yelling while Kenma is just clapping, but he has this big smile on his face. You go to tie your shoes since someone stepped on your laces and undid them.

When The Jackals come up, the lead singer steps in front of the mic while the other three set up. “Hey everyone, if you don’t know,” you recognize the voice and you stand back up so quickly only to see the lead singer, the man you talked to at the bar looking down at you. “I’m Atsumu, the lead singer, that’s Shoyo on guitar, Kiyoomi on bass, and Kotaro on drums.” You stand unmoving, completely lost. How could you not know. “Now, I know we were gonna open with Starboy, but I’ve been convinced to start with Hardest to Love so enjoy this everyone.”

He smiles in your direction, and this does not go unnoticed by your roommate. “Sweetie, what in the hell happened.”

You stood there, still shocked. “All I did was make fun of his beer.”

Atsumu starts, “You try with me so many times…”

Regardless of anything, Atsumu had a wonderful voice that hit every note you could think of. High, low, whatever, he could do it. You didn’t know, but The Jackals knew he was showing off and just smirked to themselves.

Once he finishes he moves on. “Did you guys like that?” The crowd howls at him making him smile and chuckle. “We’ve got 8 more songs, let’s make this count, yea?” Everyone is excited and pumped up.

You try to enjoy the songs, but how can you when he’s looking at you so intensely. You decide to ignore it and have a fun time with your friends.

The last song comes up and it’s Cough Syrup, you haven’t listened to it so you decided to pay attention to the lyrics. It’s a great song, it helps slow down the fast tempo everyone was cheering at and is a great closing number. You make eye contact with Atsumu, a blush appears on your face but you refuse to look away.

Still, it doesn’t help that he’s looking at you with a grin on his face singing into the microphone. You can’t help it that he looks so incredibly attractive while doing it. It’s not your fault.

The music slows and Atsumu sings the last line, “One more spoon of cough syrup, now woah.” Everyone’s cheering and clapping while the band all gets on one knee and thanks everyone.

“Thank you Chicago, yer always my best crowd. Just tell Taro that yer all my hometown.” The crowd laughs and claps to the singer, he pushes his hair back with a hand, sweat prominent on his features. “Love ya.”

“We love you!” Everyone yells back at him. He smiles and waves goodbye, then everyone goes on their own way.

Atsumu is still there looking at you, he mouths to you ‘come backstage with your friends.’ You nod, unable to do anything else. “Hey guys, follow me.” They all do without question.

When you get to their room, there’s a man in front of the door. “You are?” He asks.

“Um, I’m y/n, Atsumu said to come back here.” He nods and opens the door for you. It’s all the band members sitting on the couch and Taro, except for Kiyoomi who’s in the shower.

“Sweetie! Hi.” He kisses the side of your cheek to welcome you and you’re taken aback, but don’t say anything of it. “Yer all her friends?”

Mila is frozen, her dreams coming true all at once. “Mila.” She says pointing to her self. The Jackals and Taro chuckle at her while Atsumu shakes Kuroo’s and Kenma’s hands.

“It’s nice to meet you all.” You say nodding your head in their direction.

Suna gets up and rubs your head. “You’re the psycho girl.”

“What?” Atsumu asks confused and your cheeks flush bright red.

“She asked me to play Psycho really loud. Good choice by the way.” You thank him for his music and Kuroo begins to engage in conversation with him.

Mila and Kenma somehow get talking to Shoyo and Kotaro in the meantime. “Cat got yer tongue?” Atsumu teases.

You roll your eyes, your previous nervousness fleeing, it’s just something about him. “Please, I was just feeling nervous.”

He chuckles at you. “Did ya like the show?”

“Yea, Taro was great, your voice broke a couple times though.” You tease back.

“What, there’s no way-” your laugh cuts him off and he pouts. “Not funny.”

You smile and pat his shoulder. “I think you did great, really. I liked all of the songs.” You’re staring at each other for too long and there’s just something there that you can’t deny.

He leans in to whisper in your ear, sending chills down your spine. “Would ya like to come over to my apartment?” You don’t want to get too attached to a singer, but you wouldn’t be opposed to it either. A night with him and maybe a little more doesn’t seem like a bad idea at all.

“Alright.” You smile.

Despite common stereotypes, Atsumu was a gentleman above all else. He made sure you were comfortable, gave your roommate his address in case she wanted to go check on you, and asked if you were alright all the time.

“If I wasn’t ok, I would’ve kicked you and ran away with your car.” He chuckles and continues to change the gear on his car. “What’s it’s name again.”

He revs the engine. “Aran.”

“Ohh, where’d you get that name from?” You ask.

Atsumu shifts in his seat a bit and comes to a stop at a red light. “My brother and I used to live in a pretty bad neighborhood, and Aran was our friend. He was older than us so he and another guy named Shin were like family to us along with Rintaro.” He sighs and puts the car into gear to drive. “Anyway, when we were 17 Aran joined the army to help support his family, but he ended up in a crossfire and passed away.”

There was a lump in your throat and you weren’t sure what to say. “I’m glad I got to meet one Aran then.”

You thought he was going to stare you down but he just laughed. “Me, too. He was awesome.”

“I didn’t really live in the greatest place either, lots of kids I knew went to join the army, but I never heard if they were ok.” You fiddle with your hands a bit.

He asks, “Where did you live?”

“I grew up in the orphanage not too far from the venue you were at. I met all my friends there. They kind of kick you out as soon as you’re 16.” You shrug.

“Damn.” Atsumu says. “What’ve you been doin’ since then.”

“Work to live?” The two of you chuckle. “I work at a strip club in the heart of Chicago, I’m a waitress. I can’t dance for shit.”

He laughs at you and you just smile. “That’s good, let me know where and I’ll visit ya sometime.”

“I’m honored that you would pay me such a visit.” You push his shoulder and the two of you laugh together in the car.

You’re about to go down a steep hill but stop at the top. “My apartment is just down there.” He points all the way at the bottom. “We’re gunning it down.”

“Atsumu no-”

“Atsumu yes.” He winks and before you can say anything, you’re rolling down the hill grabbing onto Atsumu’s arm for dear life, eyes locked on the downhill road. You’re yelling and Atsumu is just laughing at you before coming to a hard stop at his place. “We made it.”

You look at him, arms shaking. “I’m gonna kill you.”

He smiles and kisses your cheek. “Chin up, let’s go eat, I’m starvin’.” The small kiss takes you aback, but you hop out of the car and follow him. He holds out his hand and you take it. He leads you up the stairs and into his apartment. “Sorry it’s kinda a mess.” He scratches the back of his head.

There’s papers all over and instruments all over the place, even a picture of him and- “Did you photo shop that?” It was a picture of him and someone who looked just like him on a volleyball court with seven other people

He looks to the picture you point at and laughs. “No, that’s my brother, we’re twins.”

“I feel bad for your mom, you guys must’ve been a handful.” You smile.

Atsumu nods, placing pizza into the microwave, a small smile spreading on his face. “She was great though, never gave up on us.” He looks up and his face drops. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking-”

You hold up a hand and shake your head. “Don’t worry about it, I know you didn’t mean anything by it. Single parents are badass.”

He agrees. “D’ya know anything about yer ma?”

You shake your head. “No, I don’t even know if I want to, you know? It’s been so long, knowing who she is now would just make me so angry.”

The microwave dings and he goes to grab the pizza. “Follow me.” He leads you up yet another flight of stairs, but once you get to a door, the cool Chicago breeze welcomes you and you find yourselves on the attic.

You take in the beautiful view that surrounds you. The lights overwhelmingly yellow and orange, cars driving by, trains, busses, and the beautiful sky, that due to the pollution, only the moon was visible. There were a few stars here and there, ones that never quit. “This is everything. I can’t go back home now that I’ve seen this.”

“Then don’t.” Atsumu shrugs taking a bite of his pizza, offering you a slice. You decline.

You and him sit across from each other on these lawn chairs looking at the sky. When he finishes his slice you turn to him. “Why did you want me to come with you.”

“The truth?” He asks. You nod. “I was really just lookin’ for a nice night, but after talkin’ to ya, I think it’d be safe to say I’m glad I met ya.” Why is it that you’ve only just met and he causes your heart to flutter like this. This was cosmic, you felt it in your bones, and whether or not Atsumu wanted to admit it, he knew that too. Knew that you would be someone special, someone he wouldn’t let himself have, but he ignored all that. “Why did you accept?”

You shrug. “Random hookup didn’t seem like a bad idea. I got swept away by your rocker singer persona or whatever.” He smiles at you and grabs a hold of your hand. You don’t want to ask if he’s looking for a relationship, because you’re scared of the answer. You want him to keep holding your hand just as he is. “Why did you become a singer?”

“It was actually my second dream.” You sit up and turn to face him. “I wanted to become a pro-volleyball player, but our school wasn’t well equipped with training to even get past the first round in a tournament. I didn’t want to burden my ma.”

“For what it’s worth, I think, maybe in another life, you’re doing just that.” He chuckles and squeezes your hand. “Is your dad not in the picture?”

He shakes his head. “Nah. He took off after our fourth birthday. He was shit dad for the time he was there anyway, so I’d like to say we were better off without him.” Atsumu pulls out his phone and plays a song on it. You haven’t heard it before, but you recognize his voice through the speakers. “Dance with me?”

You get up and place your hand on his shoulder and the other in his hand while he wraps his other one securely around your waist. “Which one of your songs is this?”

“Slow Dancing in the Dark. Bokuto wrote it, his boyfriend and him were really goin’ through it at the time.” The two of you dance around the roof. He places you on the ledge and lets you jump onto him as he spins you in his arms.

You laugh and sway with him again. “You’re quite the charmer. You do this with a lot of girls?”

He shakes his head. “Nah, most of them don’t talk to me as much as you have.” He smiles.

“I like how open you are.” You blurt out, but it’s already out there. “I dunno, it just makes other people more comfortable to be real with you.”

“I never got anything from being a liar. I guess that’s just how I am. How do you get me to talk so much Sweetie? You haven’t talked much about yerself.”

“You haven’t asked.” You teased and he places you on his lap as you sit back down.

“What’s yer dream Sweetie?” He smiles and keeps you guys moving.

You hum and just wonder if maybe it was too deep to share, but he’s been so honest with you, you feel like you could tell him. “To have a family of my own. To never abandon them and make sure they know I love them with all my heart.”

“That’s a pretty dream.” You smile and rest your head on his shoulder, you two dance till the music stops.

You wake up the next morning next to Atsumu on his bed. Memories from the night hit you like a bus and you want to squeal. He was sweet all the way through. You try to gather your thoughts but it was all scrambled with the fact that you slept with the lead singer of a band. You gotta cross that off a list somewhere.

Atsumu moves and he wakes up, looking at you holding the sheets up to your chest. “Mornin’.” He greets and you mutter a small hi as you shrink into the bed. “Ah, don’t be shy now. I’m gonna go make breakfast.”

You pull a shirt of his and some boxers out to wear and you make your way to the kitchen. He sees you come in and smiles while turning his head to the side. “I hope you don’t mind.” You refer to the stolen clothes.

He waves you off and continues to cook up some wonderful breakfast. “How d’ya like yer eggs?”

“Scrambled please.” He smiles cooking that right up. “How’d you become such a great cook.”

“My brother owns a restaurant.”

You nod. “Yea, I think he’d be disappointed if you didn’t know how to cook.” The two of you chuckle together and he places the egg on your plate.

“Any plans today?”

You think for a moment before groaning. “Yea, Mila and I work from 6pm to 1am today.”

Atsumu perks his head up and smiles. “I’ll bring the guys then, visit you on the job.”

You laugh and agree. “Ok, I’ll see you there then.”

The two of you eat breakfast together before he drops you off at your house, still in his clothes. “See ya later tonight.” He winks, and all you can do is smile and wave as he drives off. Before you can turn back around, Mila pulls you inside and up the stairs.

She sits you down on the couch and stares at you. “Alright, explain.”

“Well, he was really nice, we danced, talked and… well you know, then he made me breakfast and drove me back here, oh and he’s coming to our job later with his friends.” You tell.

Her mouth is stuck wide open, unable to move. “Oh my- how do you do that. Well now I’m nervous to go to work. I think he likes you y/n.”

“I don’t think that’s what he’s looking for Mila.” You get up and head to your room.

She laughs and shakes her head. “Well someone better tell him you don’t dance and be all sweet to your friends with benefits.”

“I don’t think that’s exactly what this is either.” You say.

“Well then it’s a big fat fucking ‘it’s complicated’.” She throws her hands up mumbling to herself about what to wear.

You’d hate to admit it, but you think that’s exactly what this is.

Nevertheless you got ready for your day with Mila. It wasn’t too crowded yet, and you would be lying if you said you weren’t antsy for Atsumu and the rest of them to show up. Mila picked up on it really quick.

“You’re gonna burn a hole in the door looking at it like that.” She quips

Your shoulders sag a little. “Am I that obvious?” You ask her.

“Only to me, Sweetie.” She pinches your cheeks before carrying her tray to her table.

Somewhere during your conversation a new table was sat, and when you went to wait on them you locked eyes with a familiar blonde. Your whole body relaxed, and Atsumu turned to you, a warmth spread throughout his body. Whatever was happening between the two of you was happening fast, and even though Atsumu knew he couldn’t give you more, he was selfish and wanted to have you if not just for another day.

He smiles charmingly at you when you get to the table. “Hello boys.”

“Hi Sweetie,” they all wave to you: Kotaro, Shoyo, and Kiyoomi. Atsumu grabs your hand and kisses it looking up at you. He was taking in the lovely corset you had on with the fishnets. 

You blushed deeply, but it was hidden by the bright and colorful lights in the club. “What can I do for you boys?” They give you their orders which you take diligently to the bar. 

“See, they got here.” Mila snickers and waves at them from behind the bar. “Let me help you with the drinks.”

The two of you finish them quickly and walk over to drop them on the table. Before you’re able to say anything you feel a quick slap on your ass. Your whole body freezes up and you turn to see a very drunk customer. “No touching,” you seethe.

Mila turns as well, standing next to you as help. “Mmm no, I don’t think that’s what you should say.” The guy walks right up to you and grabs your arm. Immediately another arm shoots out to grab his.

“Hey,” Atsumu says cooly grinning with mal intent. “Why don’t you let go of her arm yea?”

The guy is displeased and raises an arm to which Atsumu’s friends respond quickly by getting up, but he was stopped by Earl, one of the security workers. “Are you alright Sweetie and Mila?”

Mila nods. “Yea this guy needs to go, he’s touching.” She huffs and Earl nods.

“Don’t worry he’ll be gone soon.” Earl disappears with the man out the door and you let out a breath.

“Are you okay?” Atsumu asks, his jaw tight.

You nod breathing in. “Yea, it comes with the job. Earl and Riley are really good at kicking them out if need be.” You smile. “Sit down and relax, don’t worry too much about me.” 

“Well that’s not possible.” Atsumu murmurs, but you are already halfway back to the bar with Mila.

“You’re sick Atsumu.” Shoyo says.

Atsumu turns to his bandmate with a wary look. “Huh?”

Kotaro nods in agreement with the guitarist. “You got it bad Atsumu.” 

“She’s good. Really good.” Shoyo adds again. 

He ignores them and changes the subject. Kiyoomi and the rest of them understand he’s deflecting because he likes you too, but he can’t be with you. He won’t let himself be with you, and that’s exactly what they want him to see, that he can. 

Regardless of his distaste for their probing, Atsumu gets his notepad out and scribbles down some lyrics. “You really brought that with you?” Kiyoomi asks pointedly.

Atsumu rolls his eyes at his friend. “I bring it everywhere. I don’t know why you’re surprised. The boys begin conversing about their next upcoming show but Atsumu is watching you. He watches you laugh with Mila and charm the customers that come up to you. 

He hasn’t felt this sense of comfort in a long time, but watching you is inspiring in itself. He nudges Bokuto to get his attention. “What’s up?”

“Can you help me with this? I think it’s good.” He refers back to the notepad where he has the title of the song written.

Bokuto hums looking over the lyrics. “Locked Out of Heaven? Sounds good.” He doesn’t comment and how he talks so vividly about you. Even though he hasn’t said it, Bokuto knows. “Instead of cause you got me feelin like to cause you make me feel like, good?”

The two of them fix up some of the wording in the song meanwhile Shoyo called over one of the girls to dance for Kiyoomi. Kiyoomi is glaring at Hinata, but doesn’t shoo the girl away, he’s a gentlemen of course. 

Eventually your shifts are up and you come back out wearing some sweats and a hoodie. “All done.” You smile.

Atsumu looks at you with wonder as he takes in your clothes. “No corset? I think I like a girl in uniform.”

“I’m off the clock, mister.” You say teasingly before walking ahead of him and the others following. “What do you want to do?”

He hums stepping closer to you. “Do you like Just Dance?”

Over the course of the next month or so you and Atsumu grew much closer and he released Locked Out of Heaven. While you had a sneaking suspicion it was about you, you never said anything. 

You, Mila, Kuroo, and Kenma still attended all of their concerts and the crowds kept getting bigger with each passing show. Atsumu lit up the stage, he was a performer, a great one and he captured everyone’s attention. You really couldn’t help but look at him with stars in your eyes every time. 

However, you were getting tired of not understanding where the two of you stood. It frightened you how much you liked Atsumu, how much you could envision him in your future. It scared you not knowing if he thought of you like you thought of him. 

That’s why you were standing outside his apartment and knocking on the door. He answered quickly and leaned on the door frame. “Hi Sweetie,” he kissed your cheek letting you in. “This is a nice surprise.”

When he closes the door you mumble a hello, but your nerves are at an all time high. He notices something is up and asks, but he already doesn’t like this feeling. To him, the point of not being in a relationship was to not feel this way. Like he was close to fighting with you and losing. “I just... I have a question.” You say looking up at him. “What am I... to you? Do you think about me?”

“I think about you a lot.” He admits, whether he wanted to or not. “What’s going on?”

“It’s just that I think about you all the time. I want you, all the time. More so, I just want to know that you’re with me, that you want me the same way I want you.” Atsumu recoils back from your admission like you shot him.

He shakes his head. “I’m confused.”

You throw your hands up a little frustrated. “I want you Atsumu. In every single way possible. I want your clothes at my apartment, I want to keep an extra toothbrush here. I want to go on dates with just you and me not in the house, I just want to hold your hand and I want to be together... officially together. I love-” You can barely get it out, but when you look at Atsumu’s face the words die on your lips. “What?”

“No.” He says sternly. “I never- when did you ever get the idea that that’s what this was?”

Your chest hurts in the worst possible way. This is not the way you expected this to turn out. “You can’t look at me the way you do and not expect me to think you love me too.”

Atsumu runs a hand through his hair and looks equally as upset as you are right now. “No you’re completely off the mark. This- this is not what that is. You need to get your delusions in check.”

You scoff getting angrier as the seconds pass. “It’s not delusions when even your friends say the same thing.”

His head shoots up at you. “What the fuck did they say to make you think that?”

“That they’ve never seen you happier, that you seem lighter and like you’re finally able to let someone love you instead of thinking you can’t.” You spit out at him.

“Well they fucking lied to you.” He grits. 

You shake your head. “You’re insane Atsumu. I know you love me too. Why is it such a fucking problem for you to admit that?”

“Because it’s not fucking true, Sweetie. I don’t know how you deluded yourself into that-”

“Don’t call me fucking crazy, I’m not fucking crazy.” You stand up from the couch and walk over to him. “You can’t touch me the way you do and look at me like you do and say you don’t care about me. I won’t let you lie straight to my fucking face.”

“I don’t want a relationship, I don’t want this. I don’t want the expectations that come with this.”

It grabs your attention as you laugh humorlessly. “Yea Atsumu, I expect you to love me fucking back, that’s so much to ask for though with you isn’t it.”

He buries his hands in his hair ruffling it. “This is exactly what I’m talkin’ about! I don’t want this fighting, we’re not even together, shit. We’re not together!”

“I think I understand that very well. Why won’t you let me love you Tsum?” You whisper. 

“Because I don’t fucking want it, I don’t want you, I don’t want an us, I’ve made myself pretty fucking clear.”

“Loud and clear. Especially when I’ve just admitted that I love you and you throw shit in my face.” You retort. 

He sighs, “Shut up Sweetie, please.”

“The day I do is the day I stop caring about you, Atsumu.” He’s frustrated because he doesn’t know how to explain this to you and he doesn’t want to.

“Just go. Just fucking leave.”

“I’m not leaving this goddamn apartment until you tell me you don’t love me!” You say, tired and desperate. “Do you love me Atsumu?”

He shakes his head. “I don’t wantcha to love me.”

You recoil and cross your arms. “But do you love me, please? I don't think that’s much to ask.”

He doesn’t have it in him to say it, but he cannot stand you to be here a second longer. “News flash, Sweetie. It’s not that hard to not fall in love with you. You should have learned that by now.” He went real low, even knows it from the way your face falls and you lose the fight you had in you. His chest tightens from the look you give him. “The door is right fuckin’ there. I didn’t think you were so dense, fuck!”

“Don’t fucking talk to me like that!” You yell back. “All I wanted Atsumu-” you choke on a sob. “All I really wanted, was to know that someone fucking loved me for once.” You say as a whisper. “And that-” you sniffle, wiping your tears, “that you knew loving you isn’t a chore, it was a goddamn fairy tale. Even now. Even as you push me away and tell me you hate me, I still love you.” You leave, deciding that Atsumu isn’t hard to love at all, but he makes it hard to stay.

When the door shuts and he can no longer hear your footsteps, Atsumu throws the remote control at his wall. “Fuck!”

You don’t hear from him since then, and Mila had her work cut out for her. Knowing that the singer from her favorite band did this to her best friend is something she wouldn’t stand for. 

She blocked all of their numbers from both of your phones. Even though the other boys didn’t do anything she had to be extra sure he had no way of contacting you. Kuroo and Kenma were let in on the whole thing too.

As you nursed your broken heart Mila held onto you as you tried to explain what he said, and that really solidified her hatred for the man. “That is not true Sweetie. I’ll love you till the day I die.” She kissed the top of your head as you cried yourself to sleep. 

Kuroo and Kenma visited too and she let them in on what happened. “Why would he-”

“I have no idea. I think he just wanted to hurt her, because I don’t believe for one second that he wasn’t in love with her.” The three of them nod in agreement as they witnessed Atsumu with you first hand. “He’s just a fucking idiot.”

“You’re a fucking idiot.” Kiyoomi chimes in after listening to Atsumu’s rant about what happened with you weeks ago. They all asked where you had went, and with enough probing they got it out of him.

Atsumu looks shocked. “She’s delusional.”

Bokuto shakes his head. “She would be if she wasn’t right. She’s right, Atsumu and in your heart of hearts I know you know that. I know you know that you’re also in love with her.”

The singer groans. “Not you guys too.”

“I think you’re just in denial because then you would have to face the fact that you treated her disgustingly awful.” Kiyoomi says. “For some unknowing reason she fell in love with you. I think this is where your luck runs out Atsumu, because you’re never going to meet someone like that again.”

All of them are shocked at how much Kiyoomi was saying all at once. He normally was quiet, but you and the bassist developed a nice friendship, which was saying a lot for Sakusa.

“He’s not wrong Atsumu.” Hinata breaks the silence. “The quicker you realize that, then the faster you can beg for her forgiveness, because I don’t think you’ll get her back with anything less.”

The boys get up to set up their instruments leaving Atsumu in their dressing room to wonder how he got here in the first place. He felt so many things all at once and he turned to his notepad, because he couldn’t express himself in any other way. 

He performed with group and charismatic as he may be, they noticed how off he was. At one point during the show he slipped up the lyrics to one of the songs. “Shit...” he laughs it off. “Maybe I’m just a little fucked up guys I’m sorry.” The crowd cheers him on regardless, but he finds himself looking for your face. A glimpse of it somewhere, and the disappointment burns him in a way he has never experienced. 

Once the set finishes he goes back to his notepad, ignoring the stares his friends give him. He looks at Bokuto with a knowing look. The drummer sits down and pats his back. “What do you need help with?”

The two of them get to writing together, although it was mostly Atsumu’s words Bokuto helped clean it up. Atsumu was always good at understanding his emotions when they were on a piece of paper, but how could he go after what he really wanted. Every relationship he ever had crashed and burned, just like yours did and it didn’t even have a label on it. 

But that was his mistake.

You were never just going to be another girl to him. He loved you more than he cared to admit. So much that it ached. So much that he couldn’t bear how fast his heart beat around you and he had to burn you too. He was most definitely the problem. 

You just wanted an unconditional love, and he did love you, but could he love you the way you deserved? Was it fair that he decided these things for you? Probably not. 

He wasn’t sure how he was going to get you to meet with him. After what he said he wouldn’t want to either, but he picked up his phone and tried to call. “The number you’re trying to reach...” Yea. He should’ve expected that one.

He tried Mila’s and the same thing happened. The same thing would happen with your other friends’ numbers. “Shit.” He clicks his tongue but then turns his attention to Kiyoomi. “Hey, Omi-”

“Don’t even try.” He said tuning his bass not even looking up. “She’s blocked all of us, all of them did. Not that I really blame her.” 

Atsumu nods, but decides this is just a little bump in the road. He needs to plan everything anyway, it would be silly to ask for you back without one. He needed to plan.

Over the next few days he booked a venue, the same one you met at. He donated what he could to the orphanage you grew up in. In the hopes that the children live a little better than you did. He doesn’t really plan on telling you that one. 

It was difficult for him, the band was in the middle of a life changing contract, but his priorities were set for the first time in his life. He pleads his bandmates to help him, and they accept because you deserve to have a choice on whether or not you get to be with the person you love. 

He goes to the strip that you work out and hopes to run into you, but he’s met with Mila, a more formidable opponent. She looks up with a smile to greet the new customer, but when she sees him her face drops. “You’ve got about ten seconds to get out before I ask Riley to do it.” 

“I just need two minutes.” He asks.

“You don’t deserve any.” She cleans the glasses in front of her not looking at it. “I mean it.”

Atsumu nods. “I know. I know I don’t, but listen to me and if you don’t want to after that then I’ll leave.”

She looks skeptical but relents. You deserve the choice to be with him or not. Not that she believes he deserves it. “Two minutes. Starting now.” 

“I didn’t mean it.” He says sheepishly. “Any of it and if I could take it back I would. I-” He huffs out a breath, wishing he could talk to you. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt the way I did with her, and I know that she deserved more than I could offer, but I do want her.” His fists clench trying to get out the right words. “I want her more than I have wanted anything, and it scared me and I fucked up I know, but I- well... I love her. Whether I deserve to or not I do. And by some miracle she loves me too... or did.” 

Atsumu shakes his head to get back on track, Mila’s full attention is on him as he slips her a flyer and four tickets. “If you could get her to come to this show... I’d owe you everything, regardless of what happens I just don’t want to lie to her anymore.”

Mila peaks at it and watches him leave as he doesn’t wait for her answer. “Fuck.” She mutters. “I hate being a good fucking person.” She snatches the tickets and puts them in her bag.

When she gets home you’re cleaning the house again, something you’ve been doing to keep your mind busy. Mila sets down the take out as she comes to sit on the couch.

“Sweetie guess what.” You pick your head up to look at her. “Taro is coming to town again.”

Your shoulders slump a little and you shrug. “I don’t know, I don’t really want to go.”

“Pleaseeeeee.” She whines. “Kuroo bought us all tickets, he’s the main event. Some randos are opening for him it’ll be fun I promise.” You don’t really know how fun it would be to go back to the place that reminds you of him entirely. 

“I’m just not sure it would be good for me.” You say lowly.

Her heart breaks for you, but she is hard to deter. “I promise just this once, if you don’t like being there within the first hour we can go home. Promise.”

In the end, you end up agreeing and Mila fills the boys in on the plan. When Friday hits you all get ready at your apartment Kuroo and Kenma waiting with anticipation. 

“You look great Sweetie.” Kuroo coos teasingly and your face heats up.

“I will kill you.” You joke.

Kenma looks up questioningly. “Doubtful.” It earns a small laugh from you which brings a smile to his face. 

The four of you make your way to the venue and when you recognize the building of your old home you twitch in discomfort. You don’t voice it though, agreeing to stick it out the hour. Mila is in front and hands the bouncer your tickets while you walk ahead. 

It is decently packed, but you wonder why he chose a small venue again with the publicity he has gotten over the month. 

“I’m sorry Sweetie, but I’m also not sorry.” Mila smiles, and before you can ask her what she means the lights turn off and you can’t see. Your heart rate picks up, but it slows when the lights of the stage turn on, but the calm is short lived when you see him and the rest of the band on the stage.

“Hi everyone.” Atsumu waves and tries to find you in the crowd. “Now, I’ve recently written a new song yea? It’s the last one of the night.” The crowd howls with excitement and Atsumu loves the thrill it gives him, but he’s still just looking for you, he made sure you would get here for the last one. “My brothers obviously helped me produce it. It explains what words couldn’t, and I wish I was better at expressin’ myself than I actually am. I’m pretty shit at it.” He chuckles into the mic, his voice sending a chill down your spine when his eyes meet yours. “This is Leave Before You Love Me, everyone.”

Your heart is beating so fast that you barely paid attention to the first verse, but the chorus hits you like a truck and reminds you of your first meetings with Atsumu. 

'Cause my wheels are rolling Ain't taking my foot off the gas And it only took the one night To see the end of the line Staring deep in your eyes, eyes

You remember when he sent it down the hill near his apartment. How you held onto him and regardless of how nervous you were you felt safe as long as he was there. 

Dancing on the edge, 'bout to take it too far It's messing with my head, how I mess with your heart If you wake up in your bed, alone in the dark I'm sorry, gotta leave before you love me

The rest of the song plays out and you wrap your arms around yourself for some sense of comfort. Your friends notice it and huddle around you to try to ease the listen.

When the final chorus plays theres cheers all around you, and you can’t seem to move from your spot even as Atsumu smiles at you and gestures for you. Mila grabs your hand and you turn to her. “If you want we can leave right now and never come back.”

You shake your head. “No... I want- I want to know what he has to say.” 

She nods and leads you to the back. The rest of the band greets you while you can barely mutter a hello. They all leave you with him, Mila squeezes your hand before she also heads out. 

Atsumu had a whole bunch he wanted to say, but he wasn’t so sure any of it did justice to you. He slowly walks up to you and places his hands gently on your face to have you look at him. “I’m sorry, Sweetie. I’m so sorry.”

“You were so mean.” You whisper.

He nods. “I know. I didn’t mean it. Any of it. I know that doesn’t make it better, but that’s the truth.” He sighs as he runs a hand through your hair. “I just thought I shouldn’t lie to you anymore. I want you. More than I ever that I could and that was so fucking scary. But you didn’t deserve that at all. I wish I could take it all back. I wish I wasn’t so terrible all the time-”

You shake your head. “You’re not terrible Atsumu, just delusional, to think that you don’t care about me.”

“I love you.” Your throat closes up and you’re not sure what to say after that. “I think I’ve loved you from the moment I’ve met you. You’re everything, Sweetie. Everything I don’t deserve and everything I shouldn’t have.” He places his forehead against yours. “But it wasn’t fair of me to not give you a choice, because you should have one and I took that from you.”

“I’m always going to choose you, Atsumu.” Fresh tears make their way to your eyes as you take in a shaky breath. “But everything isn’t going to magically be better just because you’ve realized this. What if we get into a disagreement and you blow up on me. I can’t survive it again.”

He nods understanding your concern. “I’ve been going to therapy.” Your head shoots up almost knocking his nose. “I know, long overdue. It’s easy to tell myself you should be with someone better, but I want to try to be that for you. To be someone deserving of your kindness,” he kisses your cheek. “Deserving of your love. Although I don’t think I ever will, I want to get as close as I can.”

You laugh at his statement. “You were always enough for me, Atsumu, but I’m glad you’re getting help.” You take a deep breath before going on. “It’s not always going to be easy.”

“I know.”

“I might get frustrated with you.”

“I know.”

“You might get frustrated with me.”

“I know.”

“But I think as long as we’re honest and truly love each other...” You trail off. “I think we could make it.”

“I’ll always pick you. There is no other choice for me.” 

You smile brushing your lips against his, feeling relaxed in his hold. “We go slow this time.”

“Whatever you want. We’ll do. I just want to be able to hold you.” 

“It was a great song.” You add. 

He nods kissing your forehead. “It was about a great person. That and Locked Out of Heaven.”

You laugh under your breath. “I knew it.”

Atsumu rolls his eyes playfully looking down at you. “Assume from this day forward that every song, every word, every thought, and every breath I breathe is about you.” 

You can’t top that so you quietly retreat into his arms, safe and loved. “I want lots of kids.”

“We’ll have all the kids you want. I’ll have fun trying.”

The two of you laugh together before taking a moment to join your friends again who by the looks of it are happy for you. “Don’t mess up this time Atsumu.” Kiyoomi warns.

You walk up to the bassist and give him a hug, you do this with all of them. “I missed you guys.”

You all walk out together and you get into Atsumu’s car so he could take you back to his apartment. It’s quiet on the ride back but he holds your hand the entire time.

When you get there he immediately takes you to the roof. “Bo and I made this new song not too long ago. It’s called Die for You.”

He plays the song on his speaker and takes a hold of your hand dancing with you like he did that very first night. “You always have beautiful penmanship.”

He smiles shyly. “Trying to get that into actual words.”

“I believe in you.” You rest your head on his shoulder and sway with him.

You’re not sure how long you stay there dancing for, but you really wouldn’t have minded staying till the morning, and Atsumu wouldn’t have either.

Atsumu is not hard to love. Not in the slightest, and he’s starting to believe that for the first time in a long time.

A/N: I hope this isn’t too bad LMAO

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[jlcardenas]

Impossible Creatures: Justified Hype?

It is increasingly hard to be impressed by middle grade books when so many try and reinvent the wheel.

I work for a bookshop and in this bookshop we are often given advanced reader copies of anticipated books. I was given Impossible Creatures by Katherine Rundell to read. I was told it would be one of the most important children’s novel of the year.

I’ve got to say, I was skeptical. The fantasy novel was described as “Flying Off the Shelves” last year across the big blue. My boss even called it an “instant classic” not having read even the back cover, just going on sales. So of course I resisted reading the book because I just didn’t think it would live up to the hype.

People are comparing it to Harry Potter, which is problematic as it is. But how could any middle grade book ‘wow’ a person really?

We received a hundred copies, and on the first day of its United States release we sold over a dozen. So I decided to give in and read the damn book.

I was wrong to put it off, it was genuinely good. Not ground breaking or extremely unique, but very good. Fantasy is a very popular genre, it always has been and it always will be.

This book capitalizes on a lot of the tropes that make the genre so compelling. Magical creatures, physics defying powers, and diverse, likable group of explorers. It hit all the right marks, and did it well. Now, for most of the book I enjoyed the journey but nothing was blowing me away.

What did impress me, however, was the ending. I love when a middle grade novel treats their readers with respect. Don’t pull punches when it comes to creating a compelling story, don’t hold anything back. For most of the book I was feeling quite safe about the story, no turns I didn’t see coming.

Till they killed them. I won’t explain who Rundell killed in the novel, with such a wonderful lineup of characters I hadn’t expected any of them to die. The book just felt so safe up to that point, but the death sold me. That death completed the story’s arc in a way that respected the natural trajectory and honored the characters journey.

Now, does this one death convince me that it deserves to be considered one of the best children’s novel of the year? Quite simply, no.

There’s a ton of phenomenal options, and so many novels that tell incredibly compelling stories to kids that came out just this year.

Was the book oversold to me? Yes, it was. I did not feel like I was reading an instant classic, but time will likely prove me wrong.

But even though I don’t think this book deserves to be at the top of the list, it does deserve an honorable mention.

If you want a well rounded fantasy novel to introduce the kid in your life to the genre, this is a great pick.

4/5

[seventeendeer]

i will provide a question: did you ever get to play the oxenfree sequel? if yes, thoughts?

I did indeed! I had a good time with it. I don't think it comes anywhere near the brilliance of the first game, though, and in certain ways, it diminishes the impact of the original imo.

I think the first game played to the genre and writers' strengths extremely well. the tight focus on a handful of kids exploring a spooky island is inherently vulnerable, which is great for a horror game, doubly so for a very emotionally impactful horror game. the characters being snarky, petty and immature a lot of the time makes them feel like real teens trying to be cool in the face of some crazy shit. I found the entire cast incredibly likeable, which was super important, since the majority of playtime is spent having conversations with them.

by contrast, the sequel has a bigger scope, the main characters are adults, and they have a lot more resources at their disposal. the dialogue feels stilted and juvenile coming out of adult characters - one or two adult characters sounding like teens would be fine as character traits, but when every adult character sounds like they left high school yesterday, it breaks believability. with so much help, information and tech at their disposal, the scares also seem less like a threat and more like a challenge ... and since you really have to go out of your way to fail most of the scenarios, there's precious little left to create real tension.

a big drawback of the sequel is also just that ... we're stuck with two main characters who have negative amount of chemistry. the first game had a small web of complex relationships already laid out for the player to explore. the characters' motivations for wanting to know each other on a deeper level were rock solid. on the other hand, the protagonists of the sequel are work colleagues who have never met before, forced to work together by circumstance. there's no reason for them to try to open up and bond the way the kids do in the first game, so the long conversations about childhood trauma and whatever else comes off forced. this is a big problem when 90% of the game is just mucking about in dialogue trees while walking from place to place.

another problem, I think, is that the sequel leans too far into building lore that ultimately goes nowhere. it does a whole lot of explaining that serves no thematic purpose and is generally uninteresting. by the time everything is explained, the story is over and precious few elements come together in a meaningful way. the first game did well at not getting in its own way, simply explaining just enough for us to understand the context in which the characters exist and the framework on which the themes and emotional gut-punches are built. it feels more immersive because it doesn't stretch believability further than what is needed to tell the story it's telling.

I really wanted to love Oxenfree 2, because it's protagonist is fun, faceted narratives surrounding parenthood are in terribly short supply, and the visuals and vibe are all great.

unfortunately, I feel like everything about it is too ambitious for the limits of its genre and the skill level of its writers. it pulled a Stranger Things season 2 and took a "more is more" approach, instead of realizing that for character-driven horror stories especially, "more" is often less.

I still love the original game a ton, though the way the sequel wraps up that story is unsatisfying and anticlimactic to me as well. it honestly kind of kills the vibe to watch a beautiful tragedy play out and then it's followed up by a little final toot of a fix-fic ending. I think finally getting to undo the tragic ending of the first game could have been an incredible emotional journey for the player ... if, again, there was actually a real risk of failing, and the themes and emotions of the narrative were given room to breathe, instead of being crowded out by everything else.

but yeah, that was my experience playing! a perfectly fun romp for the spooky season, but ultimately forgettable compared to the absolutely legendary first game.

[mcgnussen]

“the best kevin” - a danish viaplay documentary about kevin magnussen (1/2):

brasil pole

k-mag did his outlap as quickly as he could to feel the track and noted all the wet patches and then remembered them all for his pole lap  

after his lap, it slowly began to dawn on people in the garage that maybe kev had done something amazing. jesper, relation manager of haas (and danish), and the press officer both realised at the same time what might be happening.the press officer basically punched the table in excitement.   

kevin actually hated the fact that the red flag came out. the track was already too wet for anyone to beat him, so then he was afraid that the track might end up drying up and other people would improve. it was torture for him to just sit and wait.   

his dad, jan magnussen, was at home with his wife (kev’s step mum) and son and they were just on the couch, drinking coffee as usual, and watching kevin race. he was so excited and moved by kevin’s pole, he also got a ton of messages from the stewart family, old teammates, racing drivers from all over the world, friends and family congratulating him on kevin’s pole. kevin’s wife (who jan calls lulu which is adorable) called him and wept tears of joy, kevin’s mum, britt, called him and wept tears of joy, his brother, erik, called him and wept tears of joy (erik magnussen is one of the world’s best kart mechanics and has trained kevin from a young age).   

erik magnussen on why kevin’s lap mattered so much: “it’s the product of 25 years of hard work. of all the many hours we drove in the snow and rain during the winter, with our hands so cold that we had to heat them up by the grill. all those ‘sour’ hours that we worked that all culminated in one perfect lap at the right time.” all that training is what has given kevin the right instincts to pull off that lap.  

luna kristofi (danish reporter): “[...] and then everyone who usually get pole just stood and waited for kevin. [...] he kept his helmet on and normally drivers do that to hide anger, but i think kevin kept it on to hide all the tears.” his physio, nikolaj, said that everyone were shouting kevin’s name, no one really knew what to do because they had not been in the situation before. he described it as the craziest 200 metres of his life.  

gene called kevin right after quali and congratulated him. he was pretty calm, but very excited and happy to see his car and driver on pole.  

random mai observations: kevin kept hugging jesper and nikolaj... and everyone else pretty much. all the haas staff got big bear hugs. official new piece of kevin lore: he is definitely a hugger. and it was also very moving to see so many different people congratulating kevin, there were staff from aston martin, from red bull and so on who all went up and congratulated him. the trainers from all the teams also went up to nikolaj and congratulated him and said that haas fully deserved it. kevin described it as the underdog story that f1 needed. it is clear that the whole paddock was excited for k-mag and haas, i also believe this is evidence of kev’s popularity within the paddock. like mick said then kevin basically knows everyone in the paddock.

the comeback 

kevin was in the studio for the last race of the season in 2021 and he believed that max verstappen would become world championship.  

he did not contact guenther after seeing that mazepin had lost his contract because kevin thought it was totally impossible. but then when he saw guenthers name on his phone, he guessed what his old boss wanted to ask him. kev said yes immediately, but then realised that he probably needed to talk to his wife and family, becoming unsure if it was the right thing to do. so he asked guenther for a day to consider it. jan said that kevin’s biggest worry was to lose out on time with his daughter.   

jesper heard the kevin rumours but did not actually believe it. however, kevin called him and said it was true. and all jesper could think of was that picture of herbie that k-mag posted, he thought that meant kevin had burned his bridges. but as kev said then it was just banter and he knew the team would find it funny. kevin says that haas is a very relaxed team, they don’t take themselves super seriously and there are no big egos. he is sure that other teams would not have found it funny.   

kevin was unsure if he could perform on the highest level from the get go. he was surprised by his p5 and he said the team went absolutely nuts. apparently one the mechanics cracked upon his lip during the wild celebrations in the garage. he could barely hear his engineer from the noise in the garage when he crossed the finish line in p5. 

jeddah and new physio nikolaj 

jeddah is the hardest track of the season when it comes to the neck which was bad timing for kevin since it was only the second race  

kevin said to the team to only fuel him for one quick lap per set of tyres because he could not manage to do two like everyone else did, his neck simply would not let him and he ended up losing all control of his neck and it just flopped around   

nikolaj, his new physio for the season, said that they have had to do a lot of treatment on kevin’s neck during the season. sometimes the treatments would even happen into the night and they would both be half asleep. and the treatments are painful, so kevin has really suffered through it during the 2022 season.   

kevin enjoyed being lazy during 2021 and admitted to not having spent a lot of time in the gym. luna said that it was easy to see he had not been hitting the gym a lot and they all knew he would go through a world of pain until he was back in shape. but kevin started working hard in the gym as soon as he signed the contract with haas.   

k-mag and nikolaj are really good friends. they like travelling the world together. in the documentary, we see them in the car planning a camping trip together.

[hangingslothcentral]

hello!! i also have a couple questions (that are a lot less cheeky)

you mentioned in the other ask that you wanted to work on nqd using an entirely different creative process than sbr. other than managing people, how did the process change between shows?

also, unrelated, whats your favorite line youve written or performed for a podcast? (not limited to nqd 👀)

💕

i appreciate both cheeky and non-cheeky questions!!

first ask is here. a TON of stuff is deliberately v different in NQD's processes. SBR was a planning-heavy show where the construction of the overall piece was more important to me, so writing each episode could become quite a restrictive process where I had to pay very close attention to over continuity. this would have been less of a problem if i had been writing the show in advance and would have time to stop and revise the overall story but sometimes ended up with me feeling a little creatively stranded as the ability to spontaneously add and take things away was gone.

I was also intentionally writing SBR to be kind of soft. i wanted to tackle big concepts like grief and trauma in a softer, squishier way without pulling big punches. i was intentionally dialled back with the amount of swearing in the show as i felt that made its edges sharper than what i wanted them to be, and there is also very little discussion of sex or sexuality, except through allusions. it's the same with violence. though SBR does have violence, it's typically specifically magical violence and that makes the moments of real violence stick out more to me.

NQD, on the other hand, is kind of unhinged in that department. that show dives in fangs first. it's all about love being a kind of violence, and the violent nature of change and reinvention, the monstrous lens through which we portray change.

interestingly, both shows are really about monstrousness and self-acceptance, but that's not intentional, it's just that these are themes i return to continually in my work. i like a character who is convinced they are unloveable who is then loved so specifically for who and what they are that it makes them come a little undone. A good contrast to see how each show handles this is to compare Oli from SBR to Cas in NQD and how self-hatred is explored in each of them, and also how they handle the love they're offered in the show they are in.

my favourite line I've written?? hmmmm. it changes a lot but i really like this bit at the moment, from La Petite Vie:

Don’t believe them when they tell you that you are a monster or a god or both! You are none of these things. You are an animal. Just as they are an animal. It just so happens that you have become a different one than you were before.

thanks for the questions!! got your own?? AMA!!

[wevelocityteampresents-blog]

OCTOBER 1ST

My schedule for the day was pretty packed. Besides trying to understand a specific class, I also had to design a new character for my website based on the results from last year's poll.

There were tons of potential candidates. But the most well-received ideas were a young Scottish Fold (Who could be a nephew for Angus) and a cat goddess. Both characters were always tied to a point where I thought I'd have to use a Pokétch app as a tiebreaker. However, once midnight fell, the cat goddess ended up receiving a vote more than the Scottish Fold and won the poll.

With the character finally settled on, I got to work on the design. Since I based her design on the Egyptian goddess Bastet, I used moons and rings as the main element in her design. She should be more older than Ann Boo and mature as well.

With Pokémon Violet, I mostly focused on training.

So PINK, you mean? (The outbreak event ended after that.)

I'm surprised that they managed to fix the graphic for Miraidon's box. It always had an orange on it. Even though this is the Violet version, and the box should have a bunch of grapes on it.

The rules for the new tournament came in today. I'm forced to use six of these Pokémon:

It's an interesting roster. But it's not something I've ever had trouble with.

OCTOBER 2ND

I've started work on another big project. I can't say much about it now. But it's a follow-up to a project I've worked on before.

I also managed to finish designing the new MEOWCO mascot. Her name is Cressaluna. I think she'd be the one pulling the strings behind a certain event that involves Angus.

In Pokémon Violet, I was getting ready to take Ogerpon back to her den. But not before messing around with a few things first.

To counter Bloodmoon Ursaluna and Sinistcha, I've brought Fruit Punch to deal with them. With Knock Off as a substitute for Throat Chop, she does just as well as in Sinnoh!

Figured she would want to tag along with me after all this time. I thought I'd fight her. But Kieran wanted to fight me instead.

It wasn't that tough of a match with the help of Greninja and Miraidon.

At least he fought for what he believed in. With Kieran taken care of, the only thing left to do at that point was to catch Ogerpon.

Of COURSE, the legendary Pokémon would want to fight me first before joining me.

I thought it would be a regular battle. But it turned out to be similar to the Titan Pokémon battles. To make things worse, Ogerpon switches to another mask once she takes too much damage.

She eventually used her Teal Mask, and became too much for Greninja to handle alone. Thankfully, Umbreon was enough to finish her off.

Not only did I catch another Ogerpon, but I proved yet again that Umbreon has finally gotten his strength back.

I thought that would be it. But after I got the masks from Ponsi, I was told to visit Carmine at the park.

I have no idea...

Before I had to study, I thought about training with my other Ogerpon.

I don't know which mask I should use against other Ogerpon. But I feel like the Cornerstone Mask should be enough to deal with the Hearthflame Mask and counter against other Cornerstone Mask users. My other Pokémon can deal with the other forms.

OCTOBER 6TH

Now that I have a design for the new site mascot, I've started working on a new art piece that features her, Angus, and Ann. I should probably restart with some different poses, though...

I've also gotten back into Pokémon Stadium 2. I've been learning a few new things at Earl's Pokémon Academy that I can use in matches at the Stadium and Gym Leader Castle.

OCTOBER 7TH

Since Pac-Man 99's servers will be shut down tomorrow, I've decided to play it for as long as I possibly can. Besides that, I've gotten better at memorizing some of the material for my classes. It's probably a result of how much my health has improved since the summer ended.

In Pokémon Violet, I made my way to the park to see what Carmine wanted. She wanted to fight Ponsi to see how tough Ogerpon could be. Ponsi wasn't strong enough to take anyone on. So I took my other Ogerpon with me. And it actually worked.

Since she was only interested in fighting Ogerpon, I fought her with just JiaranMiao. You can see how THAT played out in the Web Stadium.

After I beat Carmine, I was called by Briar to return to the community center.

I still can't believe it took weeks for me to finish this single "assignment"... Briar also informed us that she needed to return to Blueberry Academy with Carmine and Kieran to investigate something.

If they're that strong, I hope that school has something like a Battle Tower.

While all this was happening, Kieran gave himself a bit of a facelift.

I'd wait for the pass to Blueberry Academy to arrive. But there's still more things I need to take care of first.

OCTOBER 8TH

While I was on break, I played Pokémon Stadium 2. I only had the Gym Leader class exam to complete before I moved on to the Elite Four class.

After I was done in the academy, I went to the Gym Leader Castle to take on Pryce.

I would have also fought Clair. But I had other things to take care of.

Today was also the last day I had to play Pac-Man 99. I did pretty well in all the matches I played today. Sadly, I had to stop to study for a while. But not before checking out my stats. Even though I never became Pac-Champ, I was placed third on the leaderboard.

I'm in the top three, and that's all that matters.