#and they let makoto RECIPROCATE

[ontosgold]

12/1 true ending

[thatanimewriter]

HIDE 'N' SEEK CHASEY.

➳ request: Can i request hc for free! asahi, rin, sousuke, natsuya, haru, where reader is actually their crush and suddenly confess to them but reader expect them to reject her anyway and just run away after confessing. What are they gonna do about the situation Thank you

➳ character/s: nanase haruka, matsuoka rin, yamazaki sousuke, shiina asahi, kirishima natsuya

➳ warnings: confessions, various states of confusion

➳ notes: this just sounds like something i would do and yet, i haven't somehow

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬 / 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭  / 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬 / 𝐰𝐢𝐩 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

── 𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐒𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐔𝐊𝐀.

he would actually die on the hill of not telling you he likes you

but at least you reciprocate and you told him instead

he didn't get to respond though, cause you ran away as soon as you were done telling him

and you left him standing there like ._. and then made him nervous because now he has to find you to tell you (nod at you)

he mopes in the bath that night because he doesn't wanna tell you but he also really likes you

makoto has to be a wingman for a bit and guide him to you to tell you he likes you too

"i like you, too..." he mumbled, averting his gaze to look anywhere but at your face. you blinked owlishly at him before breaking out into a large grin. "oh, that's a relief, i was scared you'd reject me so i just ran." haru cracked a small smile in return, sending you into a spiral because it was such a rare sight and it's directed at you. he nodded his head to the school gates and held a pinky out for you to link your own with as you head home. "thanks for telling me. i wouldn't have said anything otherwise," he said flatly. "typical," you joked, opting to hold his hand properly instead of holding pinkies.

── 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐎𝐊𝐀 𝐑𝐈𝐍.

bright red shark man after you confess your love and make a run for it

probably chases after you but gives you a solid 30 second head start cause he's in shock

will eventually find you and hug you to stop you but probably ends up pushing both of you to the ground

he'll yell his confession to you and not get off the floor just to make sure you won't run away again

sousuke probably has this on film and will play it if you ever marry because he thinks its hysterical

rin wants him to delete it and will be asking until the end of the world

"wait!" he yelled breathlessly, sprinting after you as fast as his legs could take him. "you didn't let me respond!" you turned around with a frown. you thought you'd managed to escape in time... "what- AGH!" his body slammed into yours and knocked you to the ground. your book bag spilled your school supplies all over the path and you secretly prayed no one would step on them. "i like you, too!" "don't yell at me, i can hear you when you're in my face," you pouted.

── 𝐘𝐀𝐌𝐀𝐙𝐀𝐊𝐈 𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐄.

that audio with the loud ass "huh??" over and over again is what's goin on in this man's head

he will stand there like a minecraft man waiting for everything to load properly

you're long gone by the time he registers what happened and he'll lay awake at night thinking about it

will come find you in secret because he doesn't want samezuka swim team to bully him

also he wants to gatekeep you-

he wants you all to himself when he finally finds you again to tell you he likes you as well

"hey." you turned from your locker to see sousuke standing beside you, leaning on the wall. "hi," you responded, about to sling your bag over your shoulder until he offered his hand to take it for you. "you don't have to." "i want to." "if you insist..." you mumbled, letting him take your bag and walk you out of school. "i like you, too, by the way," he added nonchalantly. "start with that next time," you said, nudging him in the side with your elbow.

── 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐈𝐍𝐀 𝐀𝐒𝐀𝐇𝐈.

screams after you've run away and chases after you relatively fast

the whole school thinks you guys are insane because why is he chasing you like you're in primary school??

will also scream his feelings for you in front of everyone which is probably part of why you ran in the first place-

he's so hype, he's gonna take you on a date RIGHT NOW

and his family are happy that y'all are finally together because he wouldn't shut up about you

but also he might talk about you even more ._.

"stop, come back!" he cries, ditching his bag to lessen the weight as he sprints after you. you don't look back as you keep running, hoping to avoid public embarrassment. "i like you back!" he yells. "don't yell it for everyone to hear!" you whined, slowly coming to a stop and sitting on a bench to catch your breath. "but it got you to stop," he reasoned, sitting beside you and putting his hands behind his head. "i thought you were gonna reject me, i wanted to escape that shame but now you've embarrassed both of us," you huffed, crossing your arms over your chest. "oh."

── 𝐊𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐌𝐀 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐘𝐀.

he would catch your wrist before you could run away, man's got fast reflexes

cut to that boyish ass grin he had in the high speed movie because dude is so happy

but a little bit mad cause he wanted to say it first

will tease you a bit for trying to run though, so you should stay far away from him after he's said his piece

he won't let you forget that you tried to run before he could say anything

has this day documented to remind you of your mistakes

"oi, where do you think you're going, huh?" his hand encased your wrist as you turned to run. "didn't even let me respond, damn." you sheepishly turned around and your gaze fixed onto his hand that refused to release your wrist. "just reject me and get it over with," you sighed. "what? nah, i like you, too. why would i reject you?" he wondered, ruffling his fluffy hair. "i don't know, i thought you didn't like me," you mumbled. "was gonna avoid the embarrassment." "you were gonna avoid a boyfriend," he teased, turning you around so he could sling an arm over your shoulders.

[ts4ritsa]

༊*·˚ cold + unapproachable s/o who has a soft side for them

ft. makoto naegi, hajime hinata, shuichi saihara, & kaede akamatsu from danganronpa * ˚ ✦

tags / cw ✎ male!reader in mind but is pretty much gn, established relationship, fluff, reader is easily angered and quick to defend s/o, headcanons, not proofread, may be ooc, requested

MAKOTO NAEGI ✰

a lot of people say you and makoto are the grumpy and sunshine trope — and they would be right. you, someone who is closed off and unapologetically cold towards others, with someone as upbeat and kind-hearted as makoto? your classmates would say they’d like to be surprised, but that kind of pairing isn’t uncommon nowadays

makoto thinks their opinions are funny, taking them lightheartedly. he knows you are indifferent about them, but he enjoys mentioning it every once in a while, enjoying the little smirk he might elicit from you instead of the scoff you give other people when they make such comments

besides that, makoto couldn’t be more happy to be in a relationship with you. he considers himself extraordinarily lucky, being able to attract a guy like you. whenever you get affectionate with him behind closed doors, he’s just can’t help but become a blushing and giggly mess. yes, he appreciates everything you do for him and reciprocates in full

he doesn’t ramble that much about stuff and usually enjoys hearing you talk instead; also is really interested in trying out the foods you enjoy

in the event that someone is disrespecting and being blatantly rude to makoto, he tries to not let it get to him but it does hurt — though he immediately snaps out of his thoughts because he realizes he has to de-escalate the situation since you are always dead set on defending him and returning the insults to the other person

makoto appreciates your… commitment towards him, promise! but he tells you he’d rather you use a more peaceful approach while chuckling awkwardly

HAJIME HINATA ✰

hajime’s personality paired with yours is quite the dynamic, but you compliment each other well. both of you are relatively reserved, perceived as aloof and kooky, and although hajime isn’t an expert with people he certainly seems like he is when you both are together in public

honestly, hajime finds it very surprising — how uncaring and standoffish you are with other people but how warm and attentive you are with him and only him. in a way it boosts his pride

tries to keep up with your affectionate gestures as much as he can, but he can be left quite speechless at just how much love you can give him. still he accepts it in full

you can both just talk for hours on end, secretly it’s hajime’s favorite thing to do with you

for dates he enjoys going to what’s been recently popular since exploring and reviewing is fun with you around and he can give you his honest thoughts while also being curious on what you have to say

when getting into an argument with another person and they get heated, he gets easily irritated but remains level-headed. though when you insert yourself and defend him like your life depends on it he secretly finds that delightful and helpful

you and him pretty much always win whatever quarrels you find yourselves in since he’s quick to prove them wrong and you’re quick with your comebacks

though hajime will thank you he’ll probably tell you it’s better to not openly show them that they hit a nerve with their words

SHUICHI SAIHARA ✰

shuichi can’t believe he pulled someone like you. despite the both of you having a more withdrawn nature, you’re practically different in almost every other aspect. but he isn’t one to complain — after all, shuichi’s feelings for you are just as strong as yours are for him

finds it really endearing that you show him a more gentle and kind side of you. he tries to hide how much it makes him feel all warm inside but the tint of red on his cheeks along with a silly smile give it all away

actually really loves that you let him ramble about what’s on his mind. well, even if he doesn’t technically ramble, he is a very thoughtful person deep down and it’s refreshing to be able to talk freely without being judged

appreciates each and every gift that you give him, though every time you do get him something he insists you you’re spoiling him and he usually finds a way to gift you something right back

shuichi couldn’t be more happy with you, really, you make him feel like he’s won the lottery, and in return he wants to show his love for you in any way he can, any way that you’ll let him. he tries to hide how strong his feelings are to his classmates but they can see right through him, it’s pretty funny

though sometimes shuichi feels low-key intimidated by you, especially when you get into fights with other people. he is fully aware that you do not hold back with your insults, and tries to calm you down, yet it doesn’t really do anything to stop the argument. usually he just lets you settle it in your own way and lets you cool off with him after, complimenting your stubbornness but suggesting you try to avoid getting into trouble

KAEDE AKAMATSU ✰

another sun and moon! all of your classmates and kaede’s friends like to joke about the contrasts between you two, and while kaede herself thinks it is pretty amusing, she brushes them off since they can be a bit of a handful and she doesn’t want them to bother you about it since she knows how you are

kaede really adores your personality, more specifically the way you treat her so special compared to regular people. she gives you special treatment in return, unabashedly too. does not care who sees her pouring her heart out on you, she’d rather focus on the guy of her dreams that’s right in front of her!!!

definitely takes advantage of you listening to whatever she has to say. she likes to bring up trivial matters and silly topics that have been on her mind and just go on small but passionate rants about them. definitely asks you questions too and feels more enabled when you simply nod and agree

oh and kaede just melts whenever you give her gifts! it’s the cutest thing to her. she’ll shower you with affection again and again, praising you for your kindness

kaede may come off as simple and non-serious with her affection, but it really comes from the heart. behind closed doors she really loves having quiet intimate moments with you. ex. cuddling while mumbling sweet nothings as you both are on the verge of falling asleep

if someone ever insults kaede, she usually just returns the energy and laughs it off. but when you both first started dating she found it hard to just dismiss things since you were quick to bite back even harder — which she found interesting. it kind of sparked something in her to be more openly taunting when people tried to start something with her. however she does still prefer to remain composed and not make much of it after

©2024 ts4ritsa | req by anon

[azumasoroshi]

suzume no tojimari spoilers ! hi guys im Insane

literature analysis brain is going haywire so here’s a bunch of incoherent ramblings some themes motifs and symbolism i love in this movie because AAAAAAA

Love and Sacrifice.

Obviously, but like the different kinds of love and devotion and how they’re never perfect and sometimes self-destructive but they’re so powerful and just waughhh. It was so important to me how after exploding at her Tamaki (suzume’s aunt, ik im not the only one who forgets names) was like “you know I don’t feel that way all the time, right?” like not denying that yes, she has felt exhausted of taking care of Suzume and sometimes wished she didn’t have to take care of her, trying to be the parental figure she needs while also trying to not encroach on her sister’s memory. It means so much to me that she didn’t deny those feelings but instead told Suzume that it’s not how she always feels, because loving someone means sacrifice and ewughghgghfgfh im not putting this into words well but htrggfhgf.

and ALSO the reciprocation of kindness with daijin - as thanks for the taste of freedom at last, and wanting to be with someone whom you love but not really comprehending that what they want (that “suzume doesn’t love me” killed me) and how by the end daijin helped her pull souta out and sacrificed himself for suzume because he really loved her ggrgfggfhfnfnch

And just. everyday love. This is kind of a mix of themes and motifs but every time we flashed back to the memories of whatever abandoned place they were in - the simple “good morning”s and “be back soon” and “it’s so hot”s made me choke up. the mundane love of Chika and Suzume in their newly found friendship, Rumi’s kindness in picking Suzume up off the street and her love for her children, Serizawa’s platonic love for Souta letting him drive these two crazy women with crazy beef for 7 hours across Japan, there’s just so much expression of love and the hardships people go through because of it and rhgrjgrjhgdhgjhb

Mourning and Closure.

Makoto Shinkai himseld said that he wanted to write a story about “mourning deserted places” (at least according to Wikipedia) so this one is all but textual but like yeah. the motif of opening/closing/locking doors and locking the bike and things like that? AaAAaAaa

To close the gates, you need to imagine the emotions of people who once lived there - i can only imagine what Souta was thinking in the abandoned bathhouse area, but hrhggejghw the school and the amusement park and the shots we got of normal life in tokyo before the worm revealed itself in the climax, it just. really speaks to the beauty of everyday life. im a sucker for that kind of stuff as both a psychology major and just a weird person who thinks “man i wonder what happened to this person for the past 22 years of their life that led them to be here with me in this moment” whenever i pass someone in the grocery store. Hodaka could let japan be flooded in weathering with you because of his love for hina, but suzume’s whole arc was learning about the common people and living their lives and embracing all the kindness they had to offer to herself and others and it really hits that like. of course she can’t just let tokyo get destroyed to save Souta, every person in all of tokyo is just like Rumi and Chika and Serizawa and they’re all people who love and are loved. She finds herself in Souta’s place as one who stretches himself thin between being a gate closer and studying to be a teacher because he loves life as well, and-

oops i forgot i was talking about mourning and closure

anyway the doors keep getting reopened because the grief never fully goes away and the worm of “calamity” is letting yourself be consumed by the grief and destroying the people around you and not being able to move on, and it comes from the Ever-after becomes ever-after is a place where time doesn’t exist and you wish you could be there forever because it’s where you can relive the events of your past, it’s where you can live in denial that time moves forward and you have to move with it, it’s where Suzume goes after her mother dies because she wants people to stop giving her condolences and just give her her mom back. “Ever-after” in itself is a “happily ever after” - a place where mortals aren’t meant to go, no matter how beautiful it looks. Souta goes there too because he is the catalyst Suzume needs to go back and face Ever-after - and it’s no longer beautiful, but it’s torn apart by grief and everything is in flames. The idea of a keystone as well, locking the memories and hurt away, is one that Suzume removes to relive her memories and puts back in place when she’s ready to move on. htrhgfhgfghfghf. she won’t let souta be the keystone because she refuses to move on without him.

Also both Souta and his grandfather tell Suzume to just forget everything she’s seen, but it’s too late for that because connections aren’t so easily forgotten. Even when Tamaki couldn’t remember telling Suzume she’d be her new mother, that doesn’t change that she cared for her for the next 12 years anyway. Suzume visits Chika and Rumi by the end, and obviously she’s never forgotten her mother, both because her chair was still in her room by the start of the movie and because she looks like her by the end. Even though relationships change, they’re never forgotten in the movie, and I think that’s beautiful, really.

(also cool detail: 12 years ago is when the tsunami that killed suzume’s mother struck. the movie came out in 2023, and the touhoku earthquake/tsunami that inspired this film was in 2011. nice)

Reality vs Fantasy

The scenes where Suzume goes out into public again following stopping the worm from destroying Tokyo were especially poignant to me. This girl’s been going on a fantastical adventure with her talking chair and talking cat, meeting nice people and making friends, excited at the idea that she’s doing something important, but after Souta’s gone she shuts down. Her feet are bloodied, her clothes are destroyed, and people keep giving her strange looks and calling her homeless because she may have stopped the worm but even without being consumed by grief, it still isn’t pretty or picturesque. Standing out in Japanese society is discouraged, as most of us are well aware, but she’s been doing nothing but that with all the running around and talking to chairs and flying through the sky she’s been doing. Without a concrete goal in mind, without Souta as company, she’s alone in the world of adulthood and has no one to tell her what she should do, no Souta to guide her through Tokyo. And without that confidence or charm, people don’t come to her aid like they did before. It’s only once she finds her resolve to save Souta, quite literally walking in his shoes/footsteps, that the next helpful stranger (Serizawa) comes in.

She could imagine those abandoned places as alive, but the truth is that they were abandoned and will stay that way - none of them miraculously revived by the end, unless something happened in the credits that I couldn’t see through all my tears. Reality will not bring those places back, but what really matters is how we carry the memories of those places with us? I think. man maybe it’d be easier to write this post if i had actually seen the end credits

this post is really fucking long so im calling it here 😭 makoto shinkai has done it again. goddammit

[brightstarblogs]

RainCode Honorifics!

First let me preface this by saying I'm not Japanese so there may be a few mistakes in this post.

I haven't seen anyone else make a post on this so I figured I'd do it myself. I've always found honorifics interesting in Japanese media and often include them in my fics. RainCode is a little different however because all characters go by their first names instead of surnames which most Japanese media typically use (since most surnames are westernized/wacky). This interested me so I wanted to do a little research!

But yeah, if you want to use honorifics in your own fics or just find Japanese linguistics interesting, I hope you enjoy this post! It has taken me 3-4 months to compile this list.

Spoilers ahead!

Yuma: Typically Yuma uses -san when referring to other characters. However there are a few exceptions to this. Yuma uses -chan to refer to Shinigami (because she asked him too) and with Kurumi. He also changes to using -kun for Desuhiko after they arrive at Aetheria Academy in chapter 2/Gum shoe gab 2 to show they're friends (but this could be to reciprocate the fact Desuhiko changed from using Rookie to My man). He does not use any honorifics for the peacekeepers (Yomi, Martina, etc) to show he doesn't respect them and Makoto (Although he will use -san when talking to Makoto). He also doesn't use honorifics on Aiko, Karen, Waruna, Yoshiko and Kurane, although he does use -san when speaking to other students in the investigation.

Shinigami: She tends to not use any honorifics and instead uses nicknames. Most notably Akuma-chan for Halara (Hellara in the dub). When she does use a character's name it is with no honorific. I did notice she uses -dono in the gum shoe gabs when saying Yuma's bond with a character has deepened. -dono is often used in writing letters/emails, but also is used in a lot of fantasy media/JRPGs. Shinigami does reference Dragon Quest in the dub so perhaps this is just her being a nerd (Special thanks too @/rararazaquato for pointing this out). If you want to know more about the nicknames she gives the NDA in Japanese, please look at this post!

Halara: They use no honorifics for any character. The only time I heard them use one was in their DLC when they use -san for their client (They do not use Tetra's name though. They say Ojo-san).

Desuhiko: He also doesn't tend use honorifics. Unlike Halara though he uses nicknames. He refers to Fubuki as Ojou, which translates as Young lady/princess. He uses -chan for Shinigami and Kurumi but also when referring to female characters like Guillaume and NPCs where he'll say neko-chan. He also calls Yuma Rookie until they arrive at Aetheria Academy, where he changes to My man for the rest of the game.

Fubuki: Uses -san for every character.

Vivia: Uses -kun for most characters. He doesn't use honorifics for Yomi or Makoto, and uses -chan for Kurumi

Yakou: Like Halara and Desuhiko, Yakou tends not to use honorifics but there are a few exceptions. He uses -chan for Fubuki and Kurumi. He also calls Seth -sensei when he was trying to deescalate the situation in chapter 1. He uses -san for Tetra, so I think he uses honorifics with clients. I don't know for certain but that's my theory.

Kurumi: Now, Kurumi tends to use -san for most characters. She used -san with Yuma when they first meet, but switches to -chan when he is in disguise in the school to help blend in. She then uses -kun from chapter 3 onwards (and once in chapter 2 when she's held by a peacekeeper, but Yuma doesn't hear her). She doesn't use honorifics with Akio, Karen, Waruna, Yoshiko, Kurane and Shachi.

Makoto: He uses a variety of honorifics. He tends not to use any for Yuma, but also does say -kun. He also uses -kun for both Yomi and Martina/Suwaro. He also uses -chan for Kurumi.

Now onto minor characters where it gets a little difficult due to screen time.

Pucci: Uses -san for Zange so maybe uses -san for other cast members.

Melami: I didn't hear her use any honorifics as she doesn't refer to others by name and tends to use nicknames.

Zange: He didn't call any character by their name so I have no idea unfortunately.

Aphex: Used nicknames so again, I am not sure.

Zilch(?)/Hitman: In chapter 1 he uses -kun for both Yuma and Aphex. He did not address the rest of the cast by name so I have no idea if he'd use -san or -kun for Pucci or Melami. Even then I don't know if that was an act as he is an imposter. He uses -sama however for Yomi in chapter 5 when you find him as a zombie.

Martina: Fun fact, she is actually called Suwaro/Swallow in the Japanese sub! I don't know why her name is changed but this was a fun surprise. She uses -sama for both Yomi and Makoto. She doesn't use names for the NDA.

Swank: He didn't use any names, but I included him because like Martina, his name was changed. Originally he was called Spank in the Japanese sub.

Yomi: Only ever called Martina by her name with no honorific.

Seth: Like most peacekeepers he calls Yomi by -sama.

Guillaume: She tends to refer to Dominic by just his name, along with Shachi. She however does use -sama for Yomi like the other peacekeepers.

Priest: Uses -san for the clock-maker

Teacher: Although this is Desuhiko, in disguise he calls Kurumi by -san.

Yoshiko: No honorifics

Kurane: No honorifics

Waruna: No honorifics

Shachi: No honorifics

Iruka: Uses -san for Yuma but no honorifics for Shachi.

Servan: Doesn't use honorifics for other resistant members, but uses -kun for Yuma

Icardi: No honorifics

Margulaw: No honorifics

Ramen man: Uses -chan for Kurumi. Not sure what he'd use for other characters.

Enyne: Before she reveals her identity she uses -san for Desuhiko

[theamityelf]

Imagine. A great bit multiversal meetup of various Nagitos. And it turns out there's at least one verse for every Nagito ship. They end up forming appreciation clubs upon finding fellow Nagitos who share their partner.

The Komahina Nagitos: Unsurprisingly it's the biggest club. Especially considering it overlaps with the Kamukoma club.

The Komaegi Nagitos: Constantly cooing about how wonderful their little Ultimate Hope is. And are maybe just a tiny bit boastful about how lucky they are to have won the heart of Makoto Naegi.

The Komanami Nagitos: Like to talk among each other about how very comfy Chiaki's hugs are, and how she'll wrap them in a warm blanket whenever they have a cold.

The Komazumi Nagitos: Constantly have dreamy looks on their faces as they think of red hair and freckles. Giggle among themselves about how weirdly endeared they are to the word "Geez", and hold a photo of her smiling face close by.

The Komamiki Nagitos: Have a bit of a rough reputation with some of the other "Mikan skeptical" Nagitos that are like "What do you see in her, dude?". Which only makes these Nagitos even more steadfast in their defense of their girlfriends.

The Matsukoma Nagitos: Consider themselves a cut above the other Nagitos, with the most esteemed taste in partners. Having pursued and won the love of God's gift to humanity, Yasuke Matsuda. To the frustration of the other Nagitos, they're not quite sure that they can argue with that logic.

This is fascinating, and right away I gotta say that every group/ship would be split three ways between the reasonably well-adjusted Nagitos in a two-sided relationship with the person, the way, way overzealous Nagitos who are still in a two-sided relationship with the person, and the unrequited Nagitos. (Two-sided, in this case, just means reciprocated; it does not eliminate polyamory as a possibility.)

(One qualifier for that: I don't think the Komamiki group has an unrequited subset. If I were speaking neutrally I would say it does, so everyone can imagine their own scenarios, but in my mind, I simply don't see a world where Nagito is like "Mikan tho" and Mikan is like "No thanks; I've got other stuff going on." I feel like even if Mikan wasn't into him before, she wouldn't turn down affection if she knew it was available. Even in a Mikan-gets-therapy or Mikan-dates-someone-else universe, I feel like if Nagito likes her and expresses that, they would have at least tried it out.)

I think the unrequited Komazumi's and the unrequited Matsukoma's are among the most stable of the unrequited Nagitos. At least, they're closer to base Nagito: pretty weird, highly problematic, but nice enough and generally un-swirly.

The unrequited Komanami group have some fairly normal-by-Nagito-standards ones, some slightly more quiet, slightly more passive-aggressive ones who are coming from a place of "I wasn't expecting her to like me anyway, but this reserve course student she's dating is so beneath her, in a way that messes with both my inferiority complex and my superiority complex," and some who watched Danganronpa 3 happen and are A Problem. Unless we're assuming no Tragedy, which...come on. 😏

In fact, a more productive way to divvy up the Komanami's is: the ones who saw Chiaki die and were in a relationship with her; the ones who didn't see her die and were in a relationship with her; the ones who saw her die and weren't in a relationship with her; and the ones who didn't see her die and weren't in a relationship with her. The ones who haven't seen her die are being warned by the ones who did. The ones who didn't see her die and weren't in a relationship with her now feel their life's purpose is to stop her from dying, even if it means dying in her place. The ones who didn't see her die and are in a relationship with her aren't much better in that regard; it makes sense of their place in the luck cycle. Honestly, thinking of it that way, that whole group would be a problem. Don't let them group together, lol.

Speaking generally, the pre-Tragedy unrequited Komaegi's would be fairly cute about it and the post-Tragedy unrequited Komaegi's conflate acts of love with his already-extremist hope agenda and take the lack of reciprocation as a given, so they'd be a handful to say the least.

I think another fun thing to consider about the Komaegi's is that there would be some of them going "DO YOU KNOW THAT HE'S THE ULTIMATE HOPE?" to the others. Like, the subset that are unrequited pre-Tragedy and just treating their crush as a regular crush could get radicalized so fast by the unrequited who either have post-Tragedy reasons to view Makoto as the Ultimate Hope or the pre-Tragedy who just have convinced themselves that he's the Ultimate Hope independently of any killing game stuff.

And I don't think the comparatively-well-adjusted Komaegi's who are in a stable relationship with him would do anything to mitigate that. Some of them might encourage the radical behavior, just like "I'm pretty normal now, but I agree that he deserves someone to be weird about him."

I think the controversial issues for the Komaegi group are just how they feel about Makoto's friends and sister. Like, I think there are ones who genuinely think Komaru is fairly cool and ones who will smile and say Komaru is disappointingly ordinary.

[osakaonryoif]

Oh my God. Have I asked you this before?? I don't think I have and it felt like my brain just broke when I realized that.

This is literally my fav question to ask authors. 😅

But I don't think I've asked you this which is such a sin.

Okay lemme get to my point. Okay so ROs reaction to MC being asked out in front of them..? (crushing stage vs. relationship stage)

I'm sorry for taking over a week to answer this, but life kinda got in the way. Plus, it took me a while to think how to answer this, cause it's not something I'd ever really thought about. But, I'll do my best to answer. I'm also assuming that crushing stage means the RO likes the MC, but the MC is not aware, and relationship stage means both of them have reciprocated feelings, but apologies if I got that wrong.

Makoto:

Crushing stage: Would be highly jealous, but only on the inside. Wouldn't outwardly show any indications of being affected. Might subconsciously start insulting the person who asked MC out in a similar way that Makoto does to Kit.

Relationship stage: Leaks their info on the dark web.

Kit:

Crushing stage: Kit likely doesn't realise what these feelings they are feeling for the MC are, so I wouldn't expect anything beyond normal Kit behaviour, if you can call it that.

Relationship stage: Kit heard you liked the Great Fire of London so much, that they made a sequel, the Great Fire of Osaka.

Ryoji/Ryuko:

Crushing stage: Is likely trying to deny their own feelings, but they would sit the person down in a shady bar, and have "a talk", under the guise of a concerned friend.

Relationship stage: Would physically separate MC from the person by standing between them, and would tell them to repeat themselves. If they did indeed repeat themselves, Sasaki would likely get violent.

Masa:

Crushing stage: Similar to Sasaki, but in a more polite way. Would try to have a talk with the person to gauge their intentions because he'd be second-guessing.

Relationship stage: Bluntly informs the person that the MC is taken. If they are persistent, then would try and get the MC to leave.

Midori:

Crushing stage: Midori would likely never have a "crushing" stage, she'd just say she liked the MC the minute she realised. So we'll skip straight to the relationship stage.

Relationship stage: Depending on her opinion of the other person, she would try and wiggle her way into a threesome.

Red string:

I won't say too much here, out of fear of spoiling, but let's just say, it involves murder...

Hope these answers are satisfying, and again, sorry for taking so long.

[ilovereadingandstuff]

Just finish season 2 of Free!: Eternal Summer and...there's something on my mind.

Spoilers ahead!

While I can say season 2 in just as magical as season 1 because it develops other themes that hadn't been touched in the previous season like the last year for 3rd years students, the pursuit for a dream and what to do in the future, it also introduces new characters and a more-in-detph of Rin and Haru's pasts...There something that still bothering me since finishing episode 13: Haru and Rin's relationship.

And with this, I'm not gonna lie: I ship them. Like, damn, sorry, but they're the typical 'rivals to lovers' and 'childhood friends' that I like to watch on series...but the thing is that I don't see it in canon.

Rin's whole thing is kinda simple: He chose as a dream to be an olimpic professional swimmer to achieve the dream that his dad never could. He had a past childhood with Sousuke but they separated paths due to their different philosophy. Then he started Elementary or Junior High at Iwatobi, made friends with Makoto, Nagisa and especially with Haruka...then he moved to Australia, quit swimming because of hopelessness, then moved to Iwatobi again and reignited his passion for swimming because of the meaninful friendships he made by it (enphasis on Haru, because even HE HIMSELF make emphasis on that).

While, Haru's whole thing is that he had a childhood with Makoto, Nagisa and Rin (by the short time they spend together)...and while the whole first season recides heavely on RinHaru's relationship because of Rin's sorrow...I felt that Rin's presence on Haru's point of view was half-baked. Then, with season 2, I feel like TRULY RInHaru's whole dynamic is based on that rivarly that Rin created and... it's sooo one-sided!! like there is no reciprocity!!

Like, from Rin's perspective, Haru is a truly important person to him, to the point that EVEN Sousuke makes a point of it and spells it out to Haru!! But, from Haru's perspective, I feel like Rin does not make that much of an impact the same way that Haru for Rin has!! Like, the thing that shocks me the most is that, even after going to Australia for 2 days, share a bed, Rin introduced him to his home-stay family (who, by the way, did not hesitated to embarrased Rin on saying that he talked a lot about Haru when he was a kid) and by Rin's efforts, Haru finally discovered what his dream truly was...at that last moments at the final relay, when was Haru's time to show what was that that specifically made him love to be there...Makoto, Nagisa and Rei show up as his friends and team. They are one of the reasons of why Haru swims in the first place...while Rin never make an appareance not even once on that moment.

That scene completely shut me down the idea of Haru's reciprocity of feelings for Rin the way Rin feels for him. Like, after all that, when he finally explains what is his dream, his motives to it...his friends appear at his side except for Rin...for who Haru supposedly said before that he wanted to swim against...for who Haru gets inspired or motivated...who created, in the first place, the situation to Haru to discover his dream!!

Like...maybe it's just me that wanted to RinHaru be more canonical that it truly is...maybe i'm just getting started to the series and I haven't seen the important stuff yet...But either way, if that's how I see it is from the very beggining...what Rin is feeling about Haru, Haru does not share the same for Rin...or at least is not that of a big deal yet.

Also, I may be to delulu and obssess over rivals to lovers, but let's ignore that for a little while.

[randoimago]

Day 29 - Secret Admirer

Fandom: Persona 5

Character(s): Makoto Niijima

Type of Request: 31 Days of Oc-Trope-R

Note(s): Makoto being a secret admirer to someone is such a cute concept ngl.

It was another day and another of Makoto "reading" a magazine as she waited across from your locker to hear if you mentioned the recent gift from your secret admirer.

She's not in the same class as you, but you two have been friends for a while and she has (very obvious) feelings for you. Haru was the one that brought up how cute secret admirers are and so Makoto went with it because she doesn't have the confidence to confess to your face, at least not yet.

And so when she saw you walking over, the magazine went up to hide her face completely as she listened as you talked to another friend of yours. Makoto smiled as she heard you talking about the chocolates you found on your desk before holding back her sigh at hearing that you shared them with a close friend.

"I think you're pretty lucky to have a secret admirer," your friend says and Makoto smiles before it turns to a barely held back gasp at your response.

"I guess, but I feel a bit bad. I mean, you know I have a crush on someone else," you say, and Makoto wants to punch the locker next to her, but she holds it in.

After hearing your words, she somehow manages to stumble away as she tries to think about what you said. You have a crush on someone else? How long has that been going on? She's ready to have the self-doubt creep in, but she thankfully pushes it away and takes deep breaths to gather her thoughts and think.

Should she keep up the secret admirer schtick? She's been doing it for a month now. She hasn't heard or seen you looking annoyed with her gifts, but what if you're being polite? It's a tricky situation for her now that she knows your feelings for someone else. She ends up going to Haru for help.

"Oh, well the body would make good fertilizer!" Haru tells her cheerfully when Makoto mentions you said you have a crush on someone else. While concerning, it's nice to know how much of a ride or die Haru is. Makoto has to push aside the urge to mention some scientific facts about the human body to continue the conversation she wants to have.

"As tempting as it is to find out who the crush is, I just wonder if I should stop. Would it be suspicious if the gifts suddenly stopped arriving on their desk? But what if it has just been annoying?" Makoto asks, voicing some of the conflicting thoughts she had previously.

Haru gives a hum as she thinks, filling the silence as she continues watering the garden plants with Makoto helping when she can. "Maybe it's time to let them know that you're the admirer?" Haru suggests and Makoto hesitates a bit.

"I know I should, especially since I know the feelings aren't reciprocated." Makoto sighs and gives a bit of a wry smile. "Is it pathetic to be scared of doing that?"

"Of course not, Mako-chan! Here, I'll help you write the note to leave on this latest gift."

And Haru does and Makoto is very happy to have that support behind her because she doesn't know if she'd be able to do any of this without the help.

So now Makoto is waiting in the student council room. It's empty except for her. She was wondering if the library might be better or even somewhere outside of school, but the student council room is a safe space for her and she's comfortable here. The gift she gave you, something simplistic this time, had the note Haru helped her write to meet her here after school and she hopes you come.

She feels both relief and dread when you do. The dread doesn't last long, she knows that this is a conversation you should both have. Before she can say anything, you cut in.

"Makoto? You... You're not my secret admirer, are you?" She doesn't know if she should feel hurt at your question, but you don't look offended or upset that it's her. You do look surprised and she's not close enough to pick up on the fact that there's some hope in those eyes.

"I... I am," she admits finally. "It was easier to leave you gifts and messages on your desk instead of just talking to you. It's a bit childish, now that I think about it." She gives a smile at that idea.

"No, it was really sweet."

"I'm relieved you think so." And she is. It definitely helps with one of her insecurities of thinking she was being annoying. While she'd like to hear how you felt about her notes and gifts, she knows that getting to the point would be the best. "I heard that you have a crush on someone else. I hope my gifts, and such didn't get in the way or make things awkward for you," she says.

There's a pause from you and she is a bit worried with how long you're thinking up a response.

"Well," you finally speak up, "I do have feelings for someone... I just wasn't expecting that you were my secret admirer. You're always so cool and seem confident that the idea my crush is my secret admirer didn't even cross my mind," you admit, and she feels like now her brain is processing.

Makoto ends up chuckling at your words because this whole time she was telling herself that you liked someone else, and she did the same thing you did. She never thought your crush would be on her. And at voicing these thoughts, you laugh with her and she's feeling the happiest she has in a while.

Taglist:

@reo-the-leo

[tokusaatsus]

Hello!! For the event, can I please ask a,b, and i for Aira, and Makoto?

SHIRATORI AIRA & YUUKI MAKOTO + A, B, I

warnings: none

a = affection (how affectionate are they? how do they show affection?)

Aira is extremely affectionate. He’s even the heart suit in his card-themed idol unit. After all, love is… Well, to put it simply, love is rave~ly! That’s basically his brand! Despite the fact that he’s not so keen on getting affection so much as he is on giving it, he does unconsciously crave human contact, so do expect to get a lot of touches from him. Simple yet intimate things, like hand-holding and back-hugging. Other things like kissing only come after time. He’s still figuring out a lot of stuff, so the line between platonic and romantic tends to blur quite a bit for him. But fear not. Aira is, at heart, someone with a lot of love to share, both with the world and with you.

Makoto’s a little awkward with his affection. He’s torn between wanting to shower you with love but at the same time, not wanting to be too much. He’s constantly overthinking, so it’s more than likely that you’re going to have to be the one who initiates the majority of the contact between you both. Once you make the first move, Makoto slowly loses his hesitancy and will gladly reciprocate. Even small things, like linking your pinkies together or tucking his hair behind his ear, is enough to get him all shy and flustered, which is cute. And those rare moments he does initiate affection? They are quite the turnaround from his usual personality, yet you still manage to find it adorable.

b = babe (what would they use as pet names? do they use them a lot?)

Aira’s choice of pet names are simple. Common things, but filled with meaning, like ‘babe’ or ‘love’. He’s not big on using them, to be honest. He’d much prefer saying your name, or otherwise using the prefix ‘my’, when referring to you. For example: my partner. My lover. That sort of thing. The other way around, however, is a completely different story. Using pet names on Aira? He’s done for. Simply saying the words ‘love’ and ‘Aira’ in the same sentence is enough to get him all flustered, so imagine how he feels when you say them right to his face. Aira, my sweetheart, my darling,  and suddenly he’s dead and gone. Error 404, Aira.exe has stopped working.

For Makoto, cheesy pet names are the way to go. He’s the kind of person to jokingly call you his ‘Player Two’ much to your surprise and embarrassment. He’s a little more confident in his words, when it’s just you and him–no one else watching–so he’s less hesitant to tease you. ‘Babe’ and ‘my love’ are just a few examples of common pet names he has for you. He’ll switch it up occasionally, just because he can, leaving you a flustered mess when he goes from calling you ‘cutie’ to calling you ‘my beloved’. Of course, when you turn the tables on him, it’s not so funny anymore. When you call him ‘baby’ or ‘sweetheart’, it’s a surefire shot straight through his heart!

i = i love you (how fast do they say the l-word?)

For Aira, the word love comes as easy as breathing. He loves a lot of things, and he’s not afraid to show it. He loves idols, and he loves being an idol, and he loves his unitmates and friends… Even his catch-phrase contains the word ‘love’. Rave~ly! However, don’t be fooled. The moment Aira declares his love for you–confirming it with that three-word phrase that starts with ‘I’ and ends with ‘love you’–will most likely be entirely on accident. He’s so used to speaking his mind about all the things he loves (idols, being an idol, his roommates, his unitmates, Kohakucchi…) that it doesn’t occur to him to do anything different when he adds one more thing to the list (you).

With Makoto, saying the L-word takes a bit of time. He’s not one to needlessly spill his emotions out, a gushing waterfall of feelings. He prefers to let things take their own course, and then say what he needs to when the time is right. Makoto wouldn’t tell you he loves you unless he’s certain of the direction your relationship is going in. For one thing, if he says it too early, there’s a lot of pressure on the both of you–especially if you don’t reciprocate. But he also doesn’t want to say it too late, making you feel unloved. He’ll build off of what he already knows. Still, actions over words is what Makoto believes in, and when has he ever made you feel like he doesn’t love you?

notes!

WC: 780 words

reze txt hello hello !! here is ur aichan and ukki~ i hope u enjoy <33 !!

[akechi-stole-my-heart]

Wondering if the reason people make the thieves out as uncaring after 11/20 is because the game itself moves on too quickly from it? Not saying I haven't kind of fallen into that take myself, though not like harshly, just felt they didn't act like they cared *enough* as in it should have been shown more. Because of the way the game's social sim works, you don't get the thieves checking in on/visiting Akira whilst he recovered like you might see in a fic and it can just go straight back into the confidant ranks of helping people with their problems, with no special dialogue or anything to ask how he's doing beforehand; so I feel like that contributes to the takes a lot, especially when one hasn't replayed in a while (sorry your post gave me thoughts on how people get to that take in the fandom, like I think the plan sucked for other reasons such as "Surely someone would notice the lack of a body?" but that's a bit besides the point)

Yeah I think you're absolutely right about that. The structure of the game doesn't let the Thieves care about Akira afterwards. There's also a bit of dialogue during the plan explanation when Akira says "I'm just glad I didn't die" and no one responds to it, which is...kind of baffling. But that doesn't mean the Thieves don't care about him, it means the writers at Atlus made a weird choice. And we know that because we see in that same scene that all of them were very worried for their leader's safety, and like I mentioned before, Makoto herself says she's glad he made it out safe.

The structure of the game kind of fucks over Akira and makes the Thieves look like worse friends in general, too. He helps them throughout the confidants, and then they "stop hanging out" after that, once they all say they want to start helping him out like he helped them. So we don't ever get to see their friendships become reciprocal. But like, that doesn't mean they actually stopped hanging out in-universe. It's a limitation of the play style.

That all said, I do think there is a valid interpretation you can come to which is that the Thieves don't know Akira was traumatized, or the extent of the danger, because he never talks about it. He's overly selfless and doesn't ever talk about his issues, so I could totally see that happening, and it's my personal interpretation. But that doesn't mean the Thieves are terrible friends for failing to read between the lines like that. It's on Akira for refusing to communicate.

And you can even say that they should have been more concerned for him afterwards, and that they put him on too high of a pedestal and think of him as utterly infallible, especially after he escapes with his life. They're kids, and Akira did just survive the impossible.

Or maybe they try not to bring it up on purpose because they don't want hurt him by talking about it, but letting it fester just hurts Akira more and makes him feel like they don't care.

Point is, there's lots of ways to take this strangeness in the game and make it into interesting fic content to explore. There's absolutely a discrepancy going on and exploring that is super valid and interesting. But turning it into "the Thieves are ambivalent and selfish and completely blind to their leader's suffering" takes that way too far. And like...why do people want to do that? Well, at least in the cases I've seen, the answer is twofold.

First of all, there's a section of the fan base that really hates Makoto. This is mostly common among Akechi fans from what I've seen. I think it's a combination of misogyny and the fact that Makoto can be obnoxious sometimes with her defense of the police, which is especially egregious in this situation. Like, the police beat up her best friend, and she still wants to join them. That can read as callous...if you don't understand her as a character, but I digress. (Someday I should write a Makoto defense post bc yeah. People are very stupid about her.) Point is these people like making up reasons to dislike her even more, which is where I think the whole "the plan was her idea and just an ego trip" thing comes from.

And the other reason is that there are a lot of shuake shippers who really, really want Akechi to be Akira's only "true" friend who "really" understands him. Which like...is true to a certain extent, they do have a special bond and Akechi is the only confidant that doesn't ask Akira to fix something for him, etc etc. But them having a special bond DOES NOT EQUAL all of Akira's other friends being terrible friends who suck and DON'T understand him. There's room for nuance here! You can like the toxic ship between rivals without making it less toxic because actually he's the only one who REALLY respects and loves Akira.

Like, he shot him in the head, guys. Let's not delude ourselves here.

But yeah. I'm pretty sure these two sections of the fanbase are specifically Akechi stans, and so they twist actual parts of the game to make Akechi look better and the Thieves worse. They almost like, take Akechi's perspective to a certain extent? Akechi doesn't like Makoto, and Akechi thinks the Thieves are bad friends (maybe, presumably, we don't really know, but he definitely doesn't really like them all that much and he definitely thinks they idolize Joker too much), and these Akechi stans agree with him. Which is baffling to me. Maybe he has half a point, sure, but Akechi is also REALLY stupid and frequently wrong.

And like, to be clear in case anyone who doesn't know me sees this, I say all this as an Akechi stan (look at my username) and shuake shipper.

In conclusion, I do think there is something to be said about how the confidants are written to be unequal, the Thieves don't check in on Akira enough, and the idolization they very much do have for their leader! These are real things that could make for really interesting conflict in fic. But it can happen without villainizing the Thieves or saying they just straight up don't care about their leader. Which is an obvious lie.

I think most people do agree with me nowadays, I've seen a pattern of recent fic and fandom people talking about how this villainization is stupid and going out of their way to make it clear the Thieves do care, so that's good. It was mostly a thing in early fandom that disliked how Akira was treated by canon (valid), wanted to give him conflict in fic (very valid, I love Akira angst), and wanted to make Akechi the "better friend" (???) who understands Akira better than the others (technically true, but it's complicated).

(As for the body thing, Sae said she made sure no one would check the morgue, so you're not supposed to think about it I guess. Makes me wonder about the people who would have taken his body to the morgue, though. Like, did they not report the missing body to anyone? Idk, maybe Sae paid them off too, lol.)

[dragondemoness]

Touko fukawa with a Boyfriend who's her polar opposite,, they're kinda soft and a bit bubbly and love giving her affection and calling cute when she acts all tsundere like. Everyone's shocked at the contrast though Aoi and Makoto are pretty supportive of the relationship happy that she's found someone

Toko Fukawa with an S/O who's the Complete Opposite Of Her

Nobody in your class knows how you got together, honestly

You were so bubbly and energetic, and Toko was, well, Toko

But almost everyone in the class liked you, and you weren't gonna let her be the odd one out

So you talked to her every day, trying to be her friend

You got her gifts she really liked, and you were careful not to mention anything that might make her uncomfortable

But still, you were so annoying to her

You were just like Naegi, trying to force a friendship with anyone you laid your eyes on

But no matter how much she pushed you away, you just kept coming 

She actually started to enjoy your attention

If you ever missed a day, she would immediately worry that she had done something wrong

But soon, she found herself drifting away from Byakuya, and closer to you

And then you ended up dating

She's still a bit harsh with you, though

But that doesn't stop you from loving her~

When she gets used to affection, you love snuggling up to her and giving her kisses

Only in private, though 

Being all over her in public will result in her pushing you away and calling you a dummy while blushing

Honestly, she kind of does that anyway, except she doesn't reject your touches all the time

And you love to tease her and call her cute, which results in the same reaction from her

She's super grateful to have you, though

She enjoys all your attention, even if she doesn't act like it

And Makoto and Aoi are very supportive of your relationship, no matter how odd it is

And you definitely have Byakuya's support as well

Anything that keeps Toko off his back

And Toko will learn to reciprocate your affections in the future

[yuzuuu4]

I want to know the individual polystars dynamic in your mind!

I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED (puts hardcover book on table)

lets do this in a very detailed manner where i give the dynamic for both A/B and B/A (ex: hokkesuba and subahokke) because it's more fun to ramble more

ill put it all under the cut so i don't flood everybody's dashboard

HokkeSuba - these guys fight. a lot a lot - subaru is extremely clingy and hokuto bristles like a cat as if he doesn't like it (he does, a lot) - subaru gets easily flustered if hokuto reciprocates the affection - hokuto is suave and he is not even trying - have i said they fight a lot? especially over the most petty things and keep it going even if they've already forgiven each other in their heads because it's fun seeing each other "mad" - gross sappy ew gay ew ew get a room /affectionate /positive - hokuto and his pet dog akehoshi - they push each other to be better by being rivals while also being loving boyfriends - hokuto is awkward but he does his best to comfort subaru anyway

SubaHokke - they still fight, a lot - the fights never stop in any iteration of these two and they will still keep it going until one of them cracks and they go back to being ridiculously sappy - subaru is more suave here and he IS trying to be (it works) - genderbent romeo hokuto genderbent romeo hokuto genderbe - subaru can (albeit debatably) curb hokuto's violent tendencies if mao can't - subaru clings, hokuto pretends he doesn't like it, but with an added thing of subaru maybe sometimes leaving his zip up hoodie with hokuto because he likes seeing him in his jacket (pink suits hokuto) - like hksb, they push each other's buttons to be better people while still being grossly in love - hokuto is still awkward at comforting but subaru loves it anyway because it is just sosoosososo much like hokuto

HokkeMako - hokuto is makoto's biggest cheerleader and i live for that - hokuto oblivious to his suaveness pt.2 (expect to see this in all of my hokke main pairings) - makoto getting scolded by hokuto for gaming too late - consider: he said he wanted pickles and the one who wanted pickles was makoto and the one asking the cashier is hokuto - insert lovesick gaze from hokuto to makoto wearing an ugly-cute shirt while hokuto looks like a model on their date to an arcade - literally just theatre kid and gamer kid i love them - hokuto knows he is courageous and encourages makoto to be more courageous bc it's in his name and he loves seeing his boyfriend flourish MakoHokke - they bond over gaming but it's just makoto silently crying but also still very endeared by hokuto struggling with the basic rules of gaming - "Yuuki, what is this" "I don't have a signal" - "Yuuki, look what I learned" (proud face); "That's nice, Hidaka-kun!" - makoto has a secret private twitter where only trickstar's own private accounts and anzu (minus hokuto) are the only ones following it and it is literally just pictures of hokuto doing little things and makoto is crying about it - they try cooking! nothing goes correctly - makoto is on cooking duty if they ever live in an apartment together (with the other two) - hokuto still tries to cook something for makoto sometimes as a special treat for an anniversary or monthsary and makoto eats it even if it's undercooked/overcooked/literally charred

SubaMako - IDIOT COMBI !!!! IDIOT COMBI !!!!!!!!! - funny men silly silly goofy men and they always save each other's joke setups by saying a punchline whenever and wherever - men can cook, men can clean, they'd be good together in an apartment whether alone or with the other trickstars - they can relate to each other quite well and maybe bond over talking about it in the dark at night while they cuddle - if makoto feels bad then subaru will cuddle him until he isn't while blabbering about random things like the dog he saw on the street - they are very very very affectionate even in public. their love knows no bounds - subaru likes watching makoto cook very much (and the reverse is same) - subaru is the one scolding makoto for gaming too long this time but sometimes he is also involved in the gaming

MakoSuba - suave makoto. suave makoto. hear me out, smooth makot - "Ukki, you got games on your phone?" "We are in a meeting right now Akehoshi-kun" - this time it's makoto and his pet dog akehoshi-kun - they are still very very very affectionate no matter where they are - makoto likes fixing subaru's makeup for him if hokuto doesn't get to him first - subaru loves being spoiled by makoto and makoto knows it so he does anyway - makoto looks forward to getting into bed when he just finished gaming in the middle of the night because subaru is all clingy and loves mumbling about how much he loves makoto

MaoMako - isara "i can't leave him alone /affectionate" mao - mao loves taking care of makoto because he's a little hopeless - they are just so so soosososos so sappy and soft and gay and they are just being happy with each other - makoto visits mao at the StuCo office and mao always looks forward to it so much that he gets stared at and judged by yuzuru and tori - mao jock boyfriend i can carry my boyfriend on my back in a princess carry in a football carry in a - mao makes sure to put his jacket on top of makoto's head in case he feels a bit too seen and sits beside him for comfort - makoto gets showered with soft kisses from mao when he takes his glasses off in private so he feels less insecure or anxious - they help each other :) skrungles

MakoMao - here it arrives... people scolding mao about overworking - vocal encouragement for mao to not wear his clip often so makoto can appreciate mao with his hair down - makoto with a private twitter makes a comeback but this time it's mao but mao knows through subaru and he loves it - mao loves the head massages from makoto after a long day with his clip on - makoto making mao little onigiri in the shape of basketballs to give during basketball club time when he's on his way to tennis practice because he likes seeing mao's face light up - mao has a gay awakening to makoto looking confident in a suit and makoto finds out so he uses it to his advantage - makoto gaming at around 10pm and startles a bit when mao comes home and suddenly sprawls over makoto's lap but only asks "Long day?" and gets a garbled hum in response, proceeds to let it happen and mao naps while makoto continues gaming

MaoSuba - mao and his pet dog subaru - subaru causes chaos and mao has to clean up after him, poor lad (but he sighs affectionately anyways and keeps doing it out of love) - athlete couple !! - they definitely play basketball by themselves sometimes and have little bets like "If I shoot this I get three kisses" "Only three??" - mao lets himself get swept up into subaru's pace but makes sure to reel him in when he's getting a bit too out of hand - boyfriend senses tingle when subaru is the slightest bit uncomfortable - they definitely swap jackets for fun and maybe forget to swap back and end up taking them home - subaru's mom knows who mao is because mao insists on taking subaru to his house even if it's just close by - they are very sappy but it looks so casual that it's a blink and you'll miss it thing - subaru pouts when mao has to work and subaru won't be able to see him but spams him with pictures of daikichi while he's gone (mao loves it)

SubaMao - subaru also scolds mao for working late and showers him with kisses when he's back from a very tiring day - subaru loves it when he sees his mom and mao interact and be happy - mao sometimes ends up at subaru's door by accident because he's so tired his feet just dragged him there but subaru and subamama take him in anyway and sbmo have a sleepover - subaru cooks for mao when his mom is gone when they both wake up - they practice together when the other two can't make it and maybe even sing off-key while laying down on the floor - subaru does his best to comfort mao when he's upset by cracking jokes or just staying with him while mao leans on his shoulder

MaoHokke - mao and his other pet, this time a cat named hokuto - mao is hokuto's impulse control with legs - they are very sweet and wholesome - hokuto doesn't know some things that mao has to explain to him in a simple manner and it is always a treat - mao enables hokuto's stupidity by being encouraging when hokuto is proudly showing off a new skill he learned like how to exchange business cards because he finds it really really cute - connecting to previous point, hokuto showing that he learned something new so he can get praise from mao - hokuto is also hopeless but he's mega oblivious so mao really can't leave him alone - hidaka hokuto's spokesperson - mao loves hokuto's unique brand of awkwardness and straightforwardness in the weirdest moments - hokuto styles his hair like shinobu to cheer mao up and mao loves it because it's endearing

HokkeMao - hokuto is like a mom, and is the main one that scolds mao for working so late especially when it's to the point that he forgets to change and just conks out - they are hardworking and don't know their limits, but they're doing their best to watch out for the other and trusting that the other has their back for their own limit - hokuto makes time to go to the StuCo office just to check up on mao and becomes a frequent visitor that yuzuru and tori don't even question it anymore - hokuto asking his grandmother about what things he should do so mao is less stressed when he comes back to the dorms - if they live together in an apartment it would be clean and tidy but only mao cooks and it's only the simple stuff (subaru and makoto take care of the more advanced dishes for them)

[akumanoken]

Nothing changes...

Flashback: The night before Sakura's announcement...

"W-what???" He... couldn't have heard it right. Sitting out in the gardens, away from everyone else, Kyouya simply... stared at his princess. Her... no... his... confession taking him completely by surprise. "W-what... do you mean you're..."

". . . I am sorry I only found the courage to tell you this now. Before I let everyone else in Makoto know my treachery..." He looked calm, but it was no secret when Sakura's fingers clutched each other like they were, it was to keep his hands from shaking. His nerves were palpable. "I... have lied to you, Kyouya. I have lied to everyone. At the behest of my father... I have lived this way knowing how disingenuous it is..."

Kyouya was just staring at the princess, shaking his head. His Sakura was... not a woman? There was no way of truly knowing without their say-so... even cleared of makeup the princess was lovely, delicate like a flower... "I... are you kidding? That sounds insane... why wou- no don't answer it I know why His Majesty would..." His ire started to grow, as well as his headache.

He was assigned to Sakura when the princess was 13 and already in the public eye. He remembered thinking how strange it was then, for the princess to be so young and yet already half-debuted as a public figure. He always thought the other looked so forlorn before they were brought together, how when they smiled, it was like a crack of sunlight through clouds. He wanted to see her do that more often.

What had first become a wish to see the princess smile more, became something so much deeper, and now things seemed to both fit into place, and yet seem completely off. "Your father--"

"Will be incensed after tomorrow... but I... I have to tell everyone. I cannot continue this any longer..." Sakura had not looked up at Kyouya at all, to afraid of whatever derision that would come from the knowledge... he just didn't want to see the disdain that he knew would come from him. "...I... cannot ask you to continue to protect me, much less--"

"What are you talking about?" Kyouya scowled then, grasping the princess' hands. "Do you think you're about to face this by yourself?"

"Ah... but Kyouya--"

"This changes nothing.... you're my princess... after tomorrow you'll need me more than ever. I'm not going anywhere..." To realize that there was such danger surrounding his princess for so long under his nose... the only thing keeping him from blazing a trail of fire to the Royal chambers were the delicate hands he held.

"...of course... I... I am glad you have decided to stay as my knight, Kyouya...." He had long resigned the fact that after this, the soft aura that surrounded them, the field of roses and thistle that surrounded them would wither and die. To have him as his knight still... to just have him by his side meant the world... even if it would kill him to be so close and yet so far away from this moment on.

"...tch."

He knew Sakura well by now, and knew words would do nothing in the spiral of his mind. Only actions. He kept them like that for some time, feeling the princess freeze up, then melt, then collapse in his desperate reciprocation. His silly, overthinking princess. He parted with a grin, thumbs rubbing their cheeks. "When I said it changes nothing, it changes nothing. You're my princess... after tomorrow you'll need me more than ever. I'm not going anywhere..." The same words... So much softer...

The princess panted, cheeks so flushed and red. "I... are you..." he stopped midway, shaking his head with a soft laugh. "R-right... of course..." was all he said afterward, melting into the other's chest, and curling up once he felt those strong arms around him. It was... an omen of encouragement. The man who meant the most to him saw his truths and decided it did not matter...

Perhaps others in Makoto would feel the same... he could only hope.

[jimintomystery]

Byakuya headcanons

[Above: When you tell them to stop being poor but they keep doing it anyway]

Took me a while to warm up to this twerp. Then again, I have some experience with finding the charm in smug aristocrats in unlikely found family situations...

This is kind of an easy one, but I like to think Byakuya has more affection for his surviving classmates than he cares to admit. They all know that, to one degree or another. So they put up with him treating them like lowly employees, and he puts up with them treating him like an equal.

Byakua spends a good chunk of Trigger Happy Havoc biding his time, waiting for the right moment to "win" the Killing Game with the perfect murder. The fourth trial changes his mind, and after that everyone pretty much lets bygones be bygones. But Byakuya's never forgotten what he intended to do, or how thoroughly he planned it. The closer he gets to the others, the more it haunts him, and he doesn't talk about it.

I don't have any specific ideas about what sort of murder Byakuya was planning. But when I watched chapter five I became certain he was the killer, until the twists at the end. The timeframe of the murder largely depends on Toko's testimony, and it conveniently forces Makoto and Kyoko to break each other's alibis rather than work together towards a common goal. So I'd imagine Byakuya's perfect crime would look something like that.

I'm a big fan of the way Dan Avidan voiced Byakuya in the Game Grumps play-through. Nothing against the actual official voice actors for the character, of course. But after he gets the hang of it, Dan does this low, almost growly thing that adds so much seething contempt to the dialogue. For me it's the missing piece that elevates the character from Draco Malfoy to Baron Zemo.

Upon escaping the Killing Game, Byakuya thinks he's the leader of the gang. He is not. It's just easier to let him believe that nobody else can make a decision without his approval. What keeps this dork squad running smoothly is that he's not a complete tyrant, since he respects Makoto and Kyoko for their insight.

Byakuya is sharp enough to pick up on Makoto and Kyoko's feelings for one another, arguably before either of them do. On the other hand, he doesn't actually expect them to act on those feelings. (Byakuya does not read my fanfiction.) From his point of view, it'd be like if his gardener made a pass at his attorney--it'd never work out, and he wouldn't want either of them to get hurt, and more importantly it would reduce their usefulness to him personally.

It's hard for me to get a bead on Byakuya's relationship with Hina or Hiro, beyond the fact that they're all in the larger group. The lazy approach would be that they're not close to each other but they all have Makoto in common. But to me the interesting thing about this found family is the idea that everybody has a special attachment to everybody else, even if we only see them being rude to each other. So I choose to believe Byakuya has a unique bond to Hiro and to Hina, and I just have to keep digging to identify it.

Along those lines, I want to believe Byakuya cares--at least a little--for Toko. Don't get me wrong--he obviously despises the way she moons over him in front of everybody. And I'm hardly convinced he reciprocates her romantic feelings. However, Toko is a masochist that takes every compliment as an attack, and Byakuya is very observant. If he wanted to be nice to her, he'd treat her exactly the way he does treat her, and nobody would know the difference. (Well, Kyoko could figure it out, but I'm not sure she'd give a shit.)

I am intrigued by the fact Byakuya's family is part of some secret cabal that controls (controlled?) the world, which gives him access to a library full of secret knowledge he reads for fun. Kind of like when I read Time Life's Mysteries of the Unknown. I think he should have a peculiar interest in Atlantis or something goofy like that. Hmm, maybe that's how he bonds with Hiro...

I like the idea of the survivors going underground immediately after THH, and getting by on their own for a while before the Future Foundation locates them. To that end, I imagine them leaning on Byakuya's Illuminati-type shit. Like, his family had some secret underground bunker set up for the end of the world, so we might as well see if it's still intact. I also wonder if the troops he led in Danganronpa 3 were assigned to him within the Future Foundation or his own private army from his connections to the cabal.

Obviously a lot of these are still pretty half-baked. Maybe if all goes well I'll find ways to refine them...

[one-way-dream]

Nights of Future Past (One-Shot)

Rating: Teen+

Words: 8100+

Media: Danganronpa, Super Danganronpa 2,

Characters/Pairings: Hajime Hinata/Nagito Komaeda, Hajime Hinata, Nagito Komaeda, Makoto Naegi

Tags: Post-Island Mode, Hurt/Comfort, Complicated Feelings, Mutual Pining, Reminiscing, First Kiss, Internal Conflict, Light Angst, Depression

Warnings: Suicidal Ideation

Chapter: 1/1

Link to the original work

AO3 Summary/Except:

Things aren't the same after waking up from the Neo World Program, even after their rehabilitation. The truth weighs on them both heavily, and Hajime finds out firsthand just how deep the trenches run.

--

Hajime walks into Nagito's home finds him passed out on the ground. (Based on artwork)

Author's Notes:

only losers write speedrun-write entire fics at 6am for fun without their glasses (and wondering why the screen looks blurry) while waiting for their prof to show up to their group presentation for an Entire Hour only for the prof to not show up at all and all the group members leave without having a goddamn clue on what to do. its me im losers.

i wrote this fic two semesters ago and decided to polish it up a little (<- skimmed over it) because i didn’t like it very much and still don't but said ‘eh fuck it we ball’ and am publishing it now before i forget it exists. which has happened a few times.

Hajime hears the rustling of papers before he sees him, but that doesn’t keep the headache from creeping into his mind.

Although he shouldn’t. He really shouldn’t feel that way about seeing Makoto, especially with all that the man has done for him, regardless of Hajime’s… personal bitterness. But more often than not, the latter would only be sent over to give Hajime some “additional tasks” on Byakuya’s word.

Because of course it was Byakuya working them all like dogs, and of course Makoto was kind enough to trust in his judgement wholeheartedly.

A long sigh escapes him before he finally lifts his head to peer over the cubicle wall, not bothering to hide when Makoto already had his desk number memorized, as he looks for the familiar strands of light brown hair navigating through the office partitions. The sight of them inching and bobbing closer with each step almost reminds him of a shark, and truthfully, he’d laugh a little at the thought if there weren’t fumes coming out of his ears from exhaustion.

And eventually, the rustling gets louder.

Alright, deep breaths, Hajime reminds himself. There’s only a few more hours in the workday anyway, so the task would either have to be a short one or one he’d take care of first thing in the morning.

Poor Makoto generally didn’t have the heart to ask Hajime to work overtime; no, for those cases, Byakuya played his cards straight and asked Kyouko to be the messenger instead. Iron gaze and icy tone for every last soul she came across except Makoto, Byakuya, and the other survivors – she was one of the few members of the Future Foundation that both captivated and genuinely frightened Hajime by her presence alone, and Togami Byakuya knew exactly how effective she was at ‘convincing’ people.

Then again, Hajime could say the same for a lot of the girls in his class. Charming, but absolutely goddamn terrifying.

“Ah, Hinata-kun! I’m so glad you’re still here.” Makoto’s frame popped in from around the corner of his cubicle, balancing a stack of worn-out folders and fighting to keep them from slipping out of his arms. The shorter man beamed at Hajime despite the struggle, and the latter reciprocated because despite the dread pinching at him for an additional workload, he at least liked Makoto as a person. Mostly.

A loose folder finally won against his efforts, the contents spilling all over the dusty carpet in sheets of white and finely printed black ink. Makoto froze, as if he wasn’t expecting the outcome before his shoulders slumped in defeat. He let out a groan that sounded more like a childish whine.

Meanwhile, Hajime had to bite his tongue to not chuckle at his comical misery, and instead started wordlessly picking up the sheets during Makoto’s moment of frustration, making the other snap out of his state and scramble to the floor to help with his one free hand.

“Oh, you really don’t have to do that,” He frantically picked at the few documents that remained scattered, sighing quietly when five fluttered right out of his hands like a cruel magic trick and onto the floor again, "But thank you so much.” Makoto’s face pulled into an embarrassed smile, cheeks a little tinted as he chanced a glance at the other to gauge his reaction, “I’m sorry for making such a mess…”

Hajime looked up and gave him a small and polite smile. “Don’t worry about it, you were carrying a lot anyway. Just leave the folders on my desk for now so you can rest your arms at least.”

Makoto nodded, getting back on his feet quickly and carefully stepping over the spilled documents while ensuring nothing else would fall from his arms and burden Hajime. The stack came down on his desk with a heavy thump, huffing out the distinct smell of brand-new printer paper, making Makoto cringe at how the force of it flung a paperclip off the edge of Hajime's desk. He quickly pounced to catch it before spinning around to help with the last of the papers, only to find Hajime already standing with all the papers neatly tucked into the binder, running a hand through his messy brown hair to tame it a little.

“Jeez… sorry about that. Thanks a lot, Hinata-kun.” His shame grew a little more, the red flush crawling up to the tips of his ears as he shyly rubbed his neck, unable to meet the other’s eyes, “I guess I’m just a little unlucky today!”

Hajime’s breath caught in his throat at the last word; an uncomfortable feeling prickling under the collar of his white dress shirt. Suddenly, it was his turn to vehemently avoid eye contact with Makoto.

“Speaking of luck, that’s actually who I wanted to talk to you about!”

Shit.

Hajime wondered if it was too late to pretend that he didn’t hear that – maybe make an excuse to go to the washroom or wiggle out from under his office cubicle like some hyperactive preschooler. Given that his desk was all the way at the back of the fifth floor and near the fire escape, there wasn’t really any way he could inconspicuously slip out and—

And Makoto’s lips were already starting to move again.

“The thing is, that. Um. Komaeda-kun left pretty early today.” Makoto had a look of concern plastered all over his face, but Hajime only looked on, feeling himself unintentionally boring holes into the other with his gaze, “And, well, it’s not like he’s slacking off or anything, because he did finish all his assigned work before leaving, but…”  

“But what?” Hajime tried and failed to leave the irritation out of his voice, feeling a prick of guilt when Makoto’s frame flinched at his tone. He really should show some restraint with the person he considered his boss. After all, it wasn’t like there was anyone else that’d willingly employ a war criminal who helped cause the apocalypse, let alone be kind to them.

“I’m just— I’m just a bit worried about him.” Makoto thoughtfully crossed his arms and leaned against his desk carefully, trying not to put his full body weight on it, although Hajime doubted he weighed enough to even make it creak, “I’m not worried about him slipping into despair again or anything, but it feels like he’s… deteriorating a little? Sometimes I catch him falling asleep at his desk or staring out a window without realizing that I’m there, but that's pretty rare for someone as diligent as him.” His eyebrows furrowed, a rare frown on his expression as he looked away from Hajime, opting for an empty cubicle like it was the most interesting thing in the room.

So, while the irritation drained from him, a knot formed in his stomach at the other’s words instead.

“I’m not asking you to check up on him or anything, Hinata-kun, but I was wondering if you knew what was wrong.” Makoto’s right hand nervously fidgeted with the tip of his black and grey striped tie as he forced himself to make eye contact again, as Hajime smothered the unfamiliar voice picking at the back of his skull droning about how distastefully boring the young man looked. Said man finally met his eyes with an unfamiliar intensity; green on green and red. “After all, you are his partner, aren’t you?”

Hajime swallowed thickly under Makoto’s near-pleading gaze.

It was true that they were partners during field work and even office work a lot of the time, mostly due to the fact that by some miracle, they worked really damn well together. They complemented each other.

The nature of their actual relationship, however, was a whole different case.

Half the time Hajime couldn’t tell what was going on in his head – hell, half the time Hajime was convinced that even during field work, Nagito wouldn’t hesitate to make things more ‘interesting’ if their goals didn’t exactly align. Even at the cost of his own safety, and as a result, their safety – because Hajime wasn’t going to leave ‘trash like him to stew and rot in compost for extra fertilizer’ like he insisted sometimes, even if Hajime did get snappy enough to consider it.

The only reason they hadn’t run into any issues was purely in-thanks to their obligations to the Future Foundation and their strict mission guidelines and procedures.

Nothing more, and nothing less.

So no, he couldn’t meet Makoto’s gaze with confidence. Only a pitiful expression plastered on his face that felt more like an excuse rather than an actual apology. If he’d been partnered up with someone who didn’t hate his guts, maybe he’d have an answer for the other man.

But something changed between him and Nagito ever since they woke up from the rehabilitation program, and Hajime didn’t have the answers for it.

“I’m… sorry, Naegi. I really don’t know what’s up with him.” His hands clenched into fists in his coat pocket, feeling his exhaustion slowly catch up to him. Makoto let out a small, resigned sigh but gathered himself much better than Hajime could give him credit for.

He watched with a mix of surprise and amusement as the shorter man reached his arm upwards to awkwardly pat Hajime’s left shoulder, which should have been a comforting gesture, but Makoto picked up on the embarrassment at their height difference quick enough to retract his arm and slip into a casual demeanor. Very smooth. But, well, it wasn’t like Hajime didn’t embarrass himself half the time.

“It’s alright. I just wanted to ask you just in case,” he carefully looked at Hajime, words a little slow, maybe a little deliberate, as he tried to study his expression for the slightest spark of recognition. “That’s all I really wanted to ask.”

Makoto let a small smile play on his face instead, stepping away from the other to pry the rest of the folders off of Hajime’s semi-cluttered desk. His eyes briefly scanned over it, guiltily taking in all the stacks of paperwork and decorations that littered the desk in a way that was oddly pleasing and organized at a second glance. He’d always known that Hajime was a hard worker; it always showed in his work habits and in the way he’d stay just a little longer to finish up against Makoto’s well wishes for rest, but he’d never quite noticed just how… popular he was.

If it were anyone else, all those gifts might be considered a safety hazard, but Makoto trusted Hajime enough to be responsible with his desk decorations. From small handmade trinkets to miniature plushies, it was clear that they were all bits and pieces of a beloved person; someone who everyone trusted and thought of fondly – and Makoto truly couldn’t ask for more.

His eyes drifted and landed on what looked like a handmade wooden carving in the shape of a small clover painted emerald-green, tacked onto the cubicle wall, and tucked away between a miniature mech and his monitor – obscured as if it were for his eyes only, like he didn’t want others to know it existed, and it would’ve been the case if Makoto hadn’t leaned over the way he did. A small grin came up on his face before he could help it, thinking that maybe those two would be just fine after all.

Just as his classmates trusted him, he would also place his trust in Hajime to do the right thing for his partner, even if he’d be scolded for his naivety.

But really, he mused, that “naivety” could also be considered hope.

“Guess I’m off for the day then, goodnight! Oh, and… I’ll let Byakuya-kun know that you left early because you were feeling sick.” Makoto winked at the other, clutching the papers closer to his chest as he scurried away before Hajime’s confusion could wear off.

A sigh left Makoto like a silent prayer, with only a whisper under his breath.

“Hang in there, Hinata-kun.”  

-x-

His relationship with Nagito was… special, to say the least.

If it wasn’t his condescending words and a cold shoulder behind a plastic smile, it was them butting heads over trivial nonsense.

Thoughts about the lucky man often stirred in Hajime’s mind, winding around his brain like a steel wire and often pulling with a jerk sharp enough to cut when he least expected it. He could pinpoint a few reasons why it hurt him to think about the current state of their relationship but kicking those thoughts under the rug had always been the easier option. It had always been the less infuriatingly frustrating one.

He didn’t need the extra headache of someone like him tampering with his brain. Picking him apart and laying him bare for all he was worth – or rather, what he wasn’t worth. Especially not when Hajime had already learned the truth about how he let others tear him apart for the sake of artificial talent.

It was… still hard to digest.

But he would come to live with it. That’s what he decided.

Because if he doesn't— if Hajime Hinata doesn't come to terms with his choices, he doesn't know how he'll be able to live with himself. And… he has to live. He has to because Makoto and the others fought for them. He has to live, no matter how he really feels, right? There's no real death wish behind his teeth, unless disappearing under mysterious circumstances counts, but living feels like—

…Well, his feelings on the matter just aren't relevant anymore. Not when he has a debt to repay.

A dreary and boring life after giving up his body to escape a very similar kind of dreary and boring life. Except now he had a significantly higher price to pay; one that he’d do anything to give up for those few days of rehabilitation in the program.

It was rather telling that he hadn’t changed when it came to how easy it still was to ‘give up’ parts of his life. But when Hajime really thought about it, it was clear what was truly worth sacrificing. Maybe it was cowardice, or maybe he just longed to feel the nurturing warmth of the sun on his skin again.

His gaze drifted up to the reddened sky as soon as he stepped out of the building – the colour ebbing away into a violet hue with each passing month filled Hajime with a strange sense of hope despite everything; like it was an anchor on reality and fact that time wasn’t just stagnant, even if it felt like it. Everything was changing, for better or for worse.

Hajime pulled his mask up to the bridge of his nose, clutching the leather strap of his shoulder bag a little closer to his body as he started through the city, sidestepping the stray rubble, and keeping a firm foot on the uneven dirt path.

The city was still in shambles; there was no other way of putting it. Broken walls, shattered glass, metal shrapnel and grotesque decay strewn over every ruined inch of the city. Piles of bodies used to replace the flower beds at the side of the road, but the Future Foundation had made it a priority to deal with them first – both out of respect for their families and for the health of everyone still alive.

Identifying the bodies and matching them to names on the registry had been one of the first jobs Hajime and Nagito were assigned aside from their usual patrol, and he could safely say that he never wanted to be assigned to such a task ever again. Nothing had been as difficult as matching bodies to names, and names to whatever remained of their grief-stricken families.

His focus went back on the path ahead of him, the route to his new residence became something his body could follow on autopilot while mangled structures caught in his peripheral vision. Buildings that once housed entire families and warm bodies had the life forcefully ripped out of them, now merely empty rooms and corridors littered with nothing but filth and frags and debris – the aftermath of devastation at the hands of despair.

The feeling of guilt and loss settled back in his throat like acid, humorously thinking about how perhaps the chemicals resting on Tsumiki’s workbench that he’d catch himself pensively staring at far too long would feel similar on his esophagus, but he’d push those feelings down like always. It was hard to trust himself nowadays, and it was even harder not to let Nagito’s scorn and backhanded insults get to him; between the push and pull of trying to believe in himself and knowing that things would never go back to the way they were, there was no way he’d feel anything but exhausted.

The thought that he’d be significantly worse, or rather dead, without the program terrified him – but being plunged into a world drenched in darkness that they were responsible for without warning was nothing short of suffocating anyway.  

Hajime tugged down on his mask to take a deep breath, instantly regretting it when the smog-filled air struck his lungs and had him doubling over in a coughing fit. With tears prickling at his eyes, he could just barely make out the outline of his apartment building just around the corner, picking up his pace a little despite there being no pressure besides the ache in his chest – something other than the smoke lingering in his lungs.  

He was heading home. He should head home; he should head straight to the fifth floor of their residential building without thinking twice about the fourth.

The sound of leather shoes clicked against the glazed ceramic tiles as he stepped into the barren but clean lobby, the residential building being one of the few places actively maintained, as he quickly ripped off his face mask to let clean air soothe him in shaky breaths. Hajime had forgotten how hard it was to breathe the polluted air if you weren’t adjusted for it. After a whole day in a moderately clean and controlled office building, his body didn’t take kindly to sudden changes.

Or maybe those were all just excuses, and maybe breathing in that foul air brought back memories of despair he would rather not have resurfaced. Memories of days past that he would never long for.

Hajime stepped into the elevator and jabbed at ‘four’ without thinking too hard about it.

-x-

The last time he checked, the wristwatch on Hajime’s right hand read twelve ‘o’ clock, and he knew for a fact that Nagito was neither a heavy sleeper nor an early one.

So why was it taking so damn long for the door to open?

He knew that this feeling wasn’t worry, not in the way that it once would’ve been, but he’d be damned before he let the other weigh him down and get in his way when it came to work. Checking up on him would at least calm down the frustration prickling within him; it’d clear things up for Makoto’s sake – after all, he was the one who insinuated that he should check up on Nagito, wasn’t he?

Hajime felt the annoyance bubble within him before the nervousness kicked in, raising his hand to knock a little harder for the sixth time in a row, because he was nothing if not persistent. It isn’t until a silver glint catches his attention from the corner of his eye that he stops in his tracks, suddenly remembering about the spare key under the doormat. It isn’t particularly inconspicuous, but Hajime still remembers it anyway from the night he had to carry the other home, drunk out of his mind.

Sometimes his mind wanders back to that day, but he doesn’t think about the way Nagito didn’t take his eyes off of him for most of the night. He doesn’t think about the way it made his heart stutter and chest burn to have his face so close, warm breath lingering by his ear for not-so-secret whispers – not when things went right back to how they used to be the next morning. A thin deceiving smile and verbal kicks below his belt that were better than Nagito’s usual lashes, but they were kicks, nonetheless.

The corner of the tacky-looking entrance mat is lifted to expose the house key – clean and free of dirt despite being under a mat, but it was typical of the other man to clean each and every corner spotless. It was one of the few things that hadn’t changed since the Neo World Program, as vague but warm memories of Nagito’s cottage filled his head, the smell of fresh linen and household cleaning products still sticking to his mind. The memory of childishly rolling around in Nagito’s bed while they chatted between chores also lingers, although he'd rather it didn't.

He turns the key over in his palm and slides it into the keyhole, feeling his pulse thrum harder in his skull than anywhere else as the key twists.

But the key turned without a click; the door was already unlocked.

Hajime sucks in a sharp breath. Something was amiss, and he couldn’t stand the way it felt.

His left hand reached for the cold metal of the door handle, carefully swinging it open as he steeled himself.

And almost immediately, Hajime was hit with the overwhelming scent of stale citrus as his eyes adjusted to the darkness of Nagito’s living room. He could just barely make out shapes on the ground before him, the light from the hallway pouring in around his cast shadow. It wasn’t until his senses fully adjusted that he saw the state of the room, a sharp breath inhaled through his teeth from the shock of it.  

“What… the hell...?”

Nagito’s passed out body laying before him, on his side and unmoving on the wooden floor of his living room – around him were familiar looking yellow and blue striped drink cans; some stacked, others crumpled or dented, and a single tipped-over can by the leg of the chabudai, a translucent blue liquid spilled out of it in a small but sticky looking dried puddle.

Nothing in this room apart from the half empty bookshelf and the person sprawled out on the ground in front of him was reminiscent of the Nagito he once knew. A peculiar but kind person, who did strange things and spoke of even stranger ideas, but his presence was always warm and comforting. It was always one that was interesting, one that was welcome, one that he would willingly seek out even.

But now the potted plants that he would’ve nurtured with the utmost care back in the program stood by the windowsill withered and dry, gathering dust in the hazy florid moonlight. The books he wouldn’t keep out for more than a day on his desk were strewn carelessly across every surface besides his unmade bed with fitted sheets unraveled.

He always knew that things would never be the same, but now he was certain that the difference ran deeper than he’d imagined. Or perhaps he never really knew the boy to begin with.

With caution lining his every action, he stepped into the room as the uninvited guest he knew he’d always be.

“I… really didn’t take you for the sort to be messy,” Hajime’s face pulled into a frown as he felt himself finally exhale with those words, taking in the room one last time with something like concern settling deep in the back of his mind. He pushed further into the apartment, stepping over empty cans and littered stray work documents until his feet stood mere inches from the other’s head. Perhaps it’s a bit of a personal space violation, but somehow Hajime didn’t think that’d be the other’s first concern. At most he’d probably just be annoying enough to scold him for being rude and not leaving his shoes by the entryway.

“Komaeda, come on. Get off the floor already,” He spoke while looking down at the man in nothing but work pants and a thin loose tee-shirt, Hajime’s own tired and low voice the only sound in the apartment besides the steady hum of the old air conditioner, “Wake up.”

A few seconds passed painfully still. Nothing.

That was… unusual.

“…Komaeda?”

He waits a minute, and then another, before he calls his name again. And then again. Hajime crouches down to the floor, hand reaching out to shake the other’s bare arm, even though he wasn’t a heavy sleeper.

The second his left hand meets flesh he has to fight back the shiver that courses through him in a way he’d never felt before, panic violently striking his chest in its place and knocking the air out of it for a moment because when his left hand meets flesh it’s cold – it’s not supposed to be this cold. Breathing doesn’t feel as easy as it did moments ago when his heart started pounding in his ears. Irrational thoughts fill his head like someone just opened the floodgates. He didn’t even think he could hear the other’s voice in this state with how loud his pulse was.

“K-Komaeda?” He doesn’t bother to hide the overwhelming anxiety creeping into his voice when he jostles the other’s arm, shaking his limp body with it, inching closer to him on his knees, “H-hey… wake up…”

He knows Nagito’s body is cold, but he’s never this cold. He knows that he’s not a heavy sleeper. He knows these things for a fact.

If nothing else, even if whatever had been between them was nothing more than a pleasant daydream that only Hajime begrudgingly held dear between the two of them, he hadn’t forgotten the night they laid side by side on the beach so they could watch the sunset and sunrise together; he hadn’t forgotten the way they’d barely touched yet he could still feel some warmth from the boy next to him. Or that the sound of seagulls squawking overhead were enough to make him bolt upright just as his consciousness started to drift, sudden enough to make them both stare at each other before doubling over in laughter in realization—

“Komaeda—” He cries, outright cries his name when the memory makes his heart ache unbearably.

The fear claws up higher in his chest until it takes hold of his windpipe; he can’t see the mess of white hair as clearly anymore when his vision begins to blur.

Please.

Please, please, please—

Hajime barely registers the feeling of muscle tensing under his grip, but it’s enough to shock him still.

“…Mrmph…?”

For those few moments, he could barely breathe, second guessing himself with every passing moment whether he’d imagined the muffled sound.

All he can do is stare at the form in front of him, slowly but surely unfurling from his position, an arm leisurely splayed out behind him before the rest of him follows by the turn of his hip. When his back touches the cold floor, Hajime even picks up on the way Nagito recoils at the contact. And slowly but surely, as the panic drained from Hajime’s body and got replaced with the burn of embarrassment, Nagito’s eyes fluttered open.

Grey-green met his own eyes with a lopsided and lazy grin, but it was one that was practiced, it was one that wasn’t quite authentic. Nothing was out of place for the other, as usual – and it was only Hajime that ever felt an ocean’s worth of difference between them. His throat suddenly feels far too dry, and the tears that threatened to spill were growing colder on his lower lashes with every passing moment.

“Oh… Hinata-kun, good morning!” Words slurred together but remained light and chipper, as if nothing were amiss; like Hajime hadn’t just been bordering on a breakdown and like whatever the hell was going on in this room wasn’t really happening, “May I ask why you are in my room?”

And Hajime hates the overwhelming feeling of relief that floods through his body, despite seeing how nonchalant he is. He hates how he can never be honest about it with the other without feeling like he’d get ridiculed or dismissed – not anymore at least. It’d be easier to wordlessly blink the mistiness out of his eyes before the other could catch him, but at the sight of the other’s widened eyes, Hajime could tell that he already knew.

“…Hinata-kun?” Nagito lifted his head off the hardwood a few inches without moving the rest of his body to see better, almost disbelieving, before his eyes narrowed again in recognition. Hajime looked away in irritation, face burning like he was being made fun of without a single word being said, “Hahah… were you really that concerned over little old me that you started tearing up?”

God, unintentional or not, the arrogance in his voice really pissed him off.

“Shut up,” He hissed, the aftershocks of his cooling panic making him even more flustered. He wants to blame the smell of citrus for overloading his senses, for making his eyes burn and water. He doesn’t have an explanation for his incessant heart rate besides shame and something else, but the other didn’t need to know that. “Y-you were passed out like you were practically in a coma.”

“Ah… haha… that’s a little like… ‘Koma’, right…?” He melted against him, forehead pressed against Hajime’s knees as his head settled back on the floor with a soft thump, giggling deliriously like it was the funniest joke he’d heard all week; and given their pathetically average daily life, it might as well have been.

But that didn’t mean he had to dignify that with a response, merely narrowing his eyes at the man who was already silent again, staring back up at him with fox-like eyes drowsy with sleep and the curve of a sly smile on his face.

“I came here to check up on you. I would’ve waited for you outside, but you weren’t answering the door.”

“Oh?” The smile grows wider as he drawls out the word, like he’s baiting the other into a trap door, “And was there a special reason for checking up on me all of a sudden? I thought the Ultimate Despai— I mean, the Ultimate Hope, — would be busier than checking up on someone like me.”

Those words don’t sting anymore; and he doesn’t know if he should be grateful or not. For a moment, Hajime contemplates telling the truth, maybe speaking his mind for once, or rather his heart. That it wasn’t just Makoto who noticed how differently he was behaving, and he wanted to know why, but even he wasn’t sure he could trust something as fragile as vulnerability.

He can’t find it in himself to bother with something like that.

“Naegi sent me.”

And Hajime doesn’t catch the way Nagito’s smile falters for half a second, but he does see it strained moments later – lips pressed into a thin line, and it’s no better than plastic when he whispers, “I see…”

A few moments of silence passed before they realized that none of this was going anywhere, that the floor was very cold and very hard and very uncomfortable, and Komaeda Nagito would make absolutely no move to extricate himself from it anytime soon in his sluggish state.

Hajime huffed, shrugging his work jacket off his shoulders, before throwing it on Nagito’s body carelessly. He quietly relishes the jolt and muffled yelp when the jacket collar smacks him across the face, taking relief in the fact that the man couldn’t see the satisfied grin he wore.

Bringing himself lower and looping his arms under the other’s frame, he carefully pried the other’s body off the floor with ease and pulled him closer to his chest, getting another small noise of surprise but none of the resistance he expected. He was practically putty in his arms, and he tried not to think about how cold Nagito’s body still felt, or how irritated he felt at his lack of care.  

“Why are you like this?” Hajime huffed, ignoring the other’s squirms either in an attempt to get comfortable or break free, “What happened to you, anyway?” And why are you so damn cold?

The other’s head tilts curiously, and he must’ve read the brunette’s mind when his next words were, “If my body bothers Hinata-kun that much, maybe he should warm me up?”

His heart couldn’t possibly beat any faster in his chest.

An awkward cough into his shoulder, before sharply nudging the other with his arm, “I’m trying to, but do you mind not phrasing things like that?”

Only to be met with an innocent but devious smile, one that clearly asked, ‘Like what?’

“Whatever.” He mumbles, “So why did you feel so cold anyway? I felt like I was touching a corpse.”

“That’s funny.” Nagito suddenly shifts, a sharp look in his eyes, “Between the two of us, I was certain that you were the one with the least amount of experience touching dead bodies.”

“I…” There’s hesitation, but a clear answer in Hajime’s mind, “Maybe I don’t. But I’m sure he does.” He doesn’t know why he says it, but it slips out nonetheless.

The silence that settles between them lapses into a difficult understanding, layers upon layers of tragedy and loss and despair digging their claws into the moment where it should have been just the two of them. It’s a silence that Hajime still has no idea what to make of when he sees five different emotions flicker behind Nagito’s eyes; each one too momentary to grasp, to decipher – it’s still far too fragile for them to pick apart. It had to remain unspoken. At least for now.

But the expression he finally settles on, even if it was meant to be passive, is one that startles Hajime. If he didn’t know any better, then he’d say that it reads dangerously close to acceptance when he sees a smile that feels significantly less artificial than all the ones before it.

Hajime almost laughs, because only Komaeda Nagito could listen to him admit to his other self very likely committing murder and smile in the face of that fact.

“Also, hmm… perhaps the air conditioning made me feel colder? My shirt? The floor?” The change in topic is less than graceful, it’s jarring even, but Hajime can’t find it in himself to care, instead focusing on the jacket button the other idly fiddled with as he spoke, “It could be many things, but if I had to gander a guess, I would say that I was just relaxed from all the drinks – it’s a change for once.” He quietly adds, “It… helps me.”

“It helps you?” Hajime asks, confused, “How exactly?”

“My, I would’ve thought that you of all people would know. We are quite similar, aren’t we?” Nagito’s lips twist into a stony expression, one that Hajime was familiar with by now but was no less affected by, “It helps me sleep – it helps me stay asleep. And it blocks this world out for longer. Maybe one day it’ll finally do the trick and shut me out for good, but… haha, who knows? I might need something stronger!”

A difficult beat passes through them, making the air feel heavier. Or maybe Hajime was just imagining things now that the real meaning behind Nagito’s words hit him full force. It was ironic, really – even now he still found similarities between them, even after all that’s been said and done. Even after everything has fallen apart.

“Don’t weigh me down at work…” It’s a scalding whisper that escapes Hajime, as if he was afraid to say anything in response in the first place, “You’re my partner.”

“Ah, so Hinata-kun is here just for work isn’t he? And here I thought he was beginning to care about scum like me.”

“…That’s a little unfair, isn’t it?” Hajime says a little louder than before, clenching his jaw as he looks down at Nagito with a carefree expression, “How could you possibly expect someone to care when you make them feel like they’re—” A groan leaves him instead of words, frustrated and tired, “Nothing. Never mind.”

Hajime adjusts himself back onto his feet, still holding onto the other man as he hoists the both of them up, carrying Nagito in his arms as carefully as possible despite the startled noise that sprung from him. Nagito quickly surrenders and melts into the touch, leaning into the warmth of Hajime’s chest and arms as he walks them back to the unmade bed.

He takes a seat beside Nagito on the mattress as soon as he sets him down, observing the contemplative look on his partner’s face and the way he indiscreetly shuffles closer so that their sides would touch. The air conditioning stops rattling pathetically for the first time since he arrived, and the true silence is deafening, maddening even. The hazy light coming in through the dusty windows was an unkind reminder of where they are and who they are. It isn’t long before Nagito finally shifts to face Hajime and breaks the tense silence.  

“Hinata-kun… do you hate me?”

The question catches him off guard and by the throat, nearly knocking the voice out of him. He could laugh. He could seriously laugh – he wished he could stop thinking about Nagito.

“I'd like to ask you the same.”

“Hmm… you’re right.” A hand on his chin and a thoughtful expression that grates on Hajime’s nerves, “I really should hate you, shouldn’t I?”

Hajime felt the irritation flare into anger, even though he should be used to it because it was Nagito he was dealing with. Why even ask? Why bring it up? Just to rub it in his face that things will never go back to the way they used to be when they were friends? Like the Neo World Program was nothing but a dream of play-pretend to him?

He wanted to tell him off for good just this once; shove his body right back onto the cold hardwood floor, and let him kindly know that, no, he shouldn’t feel compelled to hate anyone. Especially not the person meant to be his partner, even if they did only tolerate each other at most anyway.

But Hajime was still there, in his room and holding him in his arms to carry him up to his bed at one o’ clock in the morning. And now, strangely enough, the man who was hellbent on reminding Hajime of ‘his place in the world’ looked at him as if he were the only one left.

“It’s strange. I really should hate you, Hinata-kun. But I can’t bring myself to, even after learning everything about you.”

His body stills for a moment, not fully registering the words Nagito just said, apart from the fact that they felt completely wrong to him.

Felt completely wrong, completely out of touch compared to the way they’ve treated each other since waking up.

Their relationship that was once a friendship close enough to call each other by their first names laced with something unspoken led to this – led to whatever the hell this was, starting from lashing out at each other day after day to scorning words between brief glances that were reminiscent of days past. Like digging into healing gashes just to say that they were alive and undeserving of it, but for what? Just to live out the rest of their lives in misery?

A scoff wanted to leave him, maybe say something out of spite just to get those conflicting feelings out of his system. The slight huff of irritation Hajime let out instead didn’t do much to quell the butterflies in his stomach, and maybe he felt a little pathetic about admitting that.

“Hinata-kun is mad at me…”

Obviously, his brain hisses, but it’s harder to say that when Nagito looks at him like that. As if he genuinely cares about him.

“N-no, I… Look, I’m not mad. Just lie down, will you?”

Nagito looks at him like a child being told to go to bed, but nods all the same, adjusting himself on the bed so that he's still able to cling to Hajime’s waist even while lying down.

The other pats Nagito’s arm twice, nudging him to let go. Nagito only held on tighter, like he was all that kept him afloat.

“Where are you going?”

“I thought I’d tidy up your room a bi—” Hajime suddenly realizes what he said, body twisting back to face the other, “What do you mean, ‘where am I going’? Did you want me to stick around longer?”

“I-I understand if you don’t want to be around trash like me but—”

“Stop that. What do you really want?” Hajime growls, annoyance once again seeping into his voice, “Spit it out, Komaeda.”

Nagito doesn’t answer, and Hajime senses his patience trickling out of him. It’s only when he stands up that Nagito immediately tackles him at the waist to anchor him back down, nearly falling off the bed before Hajime catches him.

“What the hell are you doing?!”

The man doesn’t say anything for another beat, before he squeezes even harder, frame shaking as a trembling voice comes out of him, “You still didn’t answer my question.”

Hajime bites his lip.

“Do you hate me?” He asks quietly, something like fear in his voice even though Hajime knows neither of them should care either way. They really shouldn’t, but Nagito persists, “Do you hate me for all that I’ve done? All that I’ve said?”

He was angry – he was. He’d always feel irritated or worn out or upset or hurt after bickering. And sometimes even livid.

But… did that really mean that he hated him?

“I…”

Wasn’t it simply frustration? Bitterness for the lack of understanding, bitterness for the loss of warmth between them? Could that really be called hatred for the boy– the man in front of him?

“…I don’t.”

Nagito smiles, “I’m so glad…”

Neither of them makes any attempt to move from their position, the smell of citrus in the air assimilated into Hajime’s system and clinging to his clothes with how long he’s been here, probably. Or maybe it was just Nagito’s scent that clung to his body. He doesn’t mind it as much as he initially thought.

“It's so lonely here, Hinata-kun. The sun doesn’t reach me anymore. I haven’t felt it in so long, so I’m glad.” His voice trails off into a whisper, fragile and fond.

Huh?

His eyebrows furrow as he looks up from Nagito, gaze going directly to the windows. Sure enough, he could see the darkest part of the evening sky through the buildings around his apartment. Even if his window wasn’t directly east facing, there would at least be some sunlight in the day.

“That… doesn’t make any sense.” Hajime looks down at him in confusion, “You would get at least some sunlight in your room. I know it’s not as frequent given the smog in the sky but—”

A giggle tore out of the man who suddenly draped his arms around his neck, head pressing against his chest, and they could feel each other’s rhythm; for Hajime, it was Nagito’s childish laughter. For Nagito, it was Hajime’s unsteady heartbeat.

“You may be warm, but you’re not very bright, are you?”

…Of course.

Of course, Nagito would find some way to insult him as usual. The irritation pricked at his chest again, despite it being duller than all the times before, because why did he ever even expect anything to change? Why did he ever have any hope that they would go back to the way they used to be?

Although it really couldn’t anymore.

Not when the other’s arms pulled him down closer, and especially not when Nagito’s lips met him halfway and were suddenly on his own, warm, and just a little needy. Hajime sucks in a sharp breath through his nose from the shock of it all.

Hajime's mind then slows to a crawl, pulse rabbiting in his chest fervently despite him, not even realizing when his lips started moving on their own against Nagito’s. His right hand finds its way into Nagito’s messy and soft white hair, and he’s already melting into him, like nothing had ever changed between them.

Slow. Gentle. Unusually sweet.

The other pulls away an inch, and Hajime desperately wants to chase after that warmth before he catches the look in his eyes.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I… know I don’t deserve this, but I made a mistake. I made a grave mistake by pushing you away.” Nagito whispers with his lips barely grazing the other man’s, voice wavering like he was afraid to shatter whatever remained between them, “If I wanted things to change… would you let me ask for something so selfish, Hinata-kun?”

Hajime’s mind couldn’t process anything but the tearful look in Nagito’s eyes, the depths of his loneliness that seemed never-ending – an abyss with no end in sight but the reflection of Hajime in his eyes. A man who was no different than the one who was pouring his heart out in front of him, except he wasn’t nearly as brave.

“The other night, I had a dream about the two of us. Of the time we were on the beach together and fell asleep beside each other, even though our cottages were nearby,” He laughed, eyes twinkling, “We even asked Usami for permission just in case, but she was already overjoyed at the thought of two classmates bonding in the name of hope.”

Nagito leans his head against his shoulder, speaking quietly, “Hinata-kun, I don’t think you know how many times I’ve had that dream. And how many times I’ve pushed it away. What I thought was hatred was… anger. Anger at you. Anger at the world. Anger at despair. Anger at myself. I don’t know why it took me so long to realize that you were only ever looking towards the future. Even though it’s hard. I… mistook your self-acceptance for dismissal and maybe I was… jealous. Jealous of the way you could move forward like that.

Hajime’s breath hitches at his confession.

“But it’s such a lonely feeling, and I don’t know if I can bear to be alone anymore, even if I—even if I deserve it.”

“I wasn’t sure if you would stay even after I’d said all that earlier but…” Nagito pulls away from his shoulder, looking straight into his eyes in a way that makes him freeze in place, “You really are full of hope, Hinata-kun. Even as a reserve course student.” And there’s no bite this time when Nagito smiles at him, stares into his eyes with something like affection. It’s earth-shattering just how far the pendulum swings in the opposite direction when those same words aren’t full of vitriol.

“Will you stay?”

Hajime felt his heart leap into his throat a third time.

One day he wanted to lay on this very mattress with Nagito, side by side in their work clothes maybe, looking up at the patchy and water-stained white ceiling as if it were a sky draped with stars.

Just like he’d seen with the other before in the program; sea salt and the mild annoyance of sand prickling against their backs and unrestrained laughter and long talks of constellations and even longer tranquil silences between stolen glances.

Just like the night he realized how he felt about the lucky boy.

There was a hesitancy, a fear that came with it regardless of his resolve – a regret that the other would wake up to, and a rejection Hajime wouldn’t be able to stomach. He was only human after all.

But he saw a newfound spark in Nagito’s eyes that drew him in. A fragment of their solace from days of warm breezes, painted bright blue and so unlike the sky they’d opened their eyes to.

Eyes full of something unspoken, and it was something Hajime really wanted to find out.  

“Next time.” He whispered, warm hands squeezing cold ones reassuringly when Nagito’s expression falters, before he could retreat, “If you truly don’t regret this, and… if things can change, then next time.”

There’s a slow nod and a smile; a shy but mutual motion to lace their scarred and imperfect fingers together like they were meant to fit together regardless, and the room that once felt empty feels full of light. And for the first time in a long time, Nagito has hope in his heart again.

“I’ll see you in the morning, Nagito,” Hajime smiles at him, heartfelt and free for the first time since he woke up, “We’ll clean up together, yeah?”

Just like the hope Hajime had taught him about in the program, the one that he awakened; the hope that dwelled in Nagito all along.