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thurio-edau · 7 months ago

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SBG GANG MENTAL ANALYSIS

yup, him for part two. funny thing despite Aiden being my favourite character I'm most excited for the other three posts I'll make, especially the last one. there's a lot to unpack here so

also im writing this with a migraine pls read it-

Part 2: Aiden Clark

ah, yes. the obviously-mentally-ill from the start fan favourite Aiden Clark. let's go.

first, I want to start with something I find really important about his character, what makes him heavily mischaracterized in the fandom. the 'psychopath' cliche.

the terms 'psychopath', 'insane' and 'unstable' are often confused with each other due to media stereotypes, such as Aiden here. one, he is not a psychopath. psychopath literally means a self-centered person who lacks sympathy, affection and care; making them far from most other characters in their franchise. their lack of sympathy/empathy often makes them criminalized, here

disturbing content warning, for an example of a psychopath.

let's take Gressil from Homesick for example since a lot of SBG readers also read Homesick. so, here, Gressil is a perfect example of an actual psychopath. his lack of empathy makes him torment others, he's very self-centered. and when asked why he's doing this? he says he was bored. let's look at Aiden here. what does Aiden do when bored? probably dumb ideas or annoy Tyler. not torturing people for fun. Aiden is just a boy who likes thrills, but he has a sense of empathy, care and justice.

you wanna see a psychopathic Aiden?? the canvas is it

(our local Logan hater is publishing the canvas eps go checc beachy out)

but that's him, not our Aiden. canvas does not equal originals y'all

alright, now since we got that cleared out!! firstly, ADHD.

I think everyone in the fandom is already aware that Aiden is ADHD but I'm still going to talk about it just like Ashlyn's autism. Red has also said that she wrote Aiden with ADHD in mind but hadn't canonically confirmed anyone as neurodivergent. let's start with the main symptoms of ADHD, also known as Attention Decifit and Hyperactivity Disorder.

I know about 5 different ADHD people myself and did some research, it probably won't be extremely accurate since I'm not ADHD myself, but I'll try to do whatever I can. first with the AD part, Attention Decifit.

now as seen, he doesn't exactly have any problems with theorizing itself. but the problem is that his attention just goes away easily.

i mean cmon bro was making memes on the job

he tries to do work, but can't. he has a low attention span which makes him not able to concentrate. he can't keep it up for long, he'll get distracted or bored too easily about things that doesn't interest in specially.

it's just distracting. what his attention is on constantly changes, there's more to that after the ADHD part but we're here for now.

the hyperactivity... it's a lot more apparent. but I should explain the insane-unstable thing before that.

insane means that someone's mental health is not in an okay situation, where it prevents the person from thinking normally, acting rationally, very often found together with delusions. the person is seriously mentally ill where it might count as a disability.

unstable, however, where someone is prone to psychiatric problems, has moodswings etc. they're not exactly the most sane person, but they aren't insane either. Aiden here, obviously falls on the unstable side. maybe just a little bit insane if you squint. this will be brought up later too, but it mixed well with his hyperactivity too.

and as we all know, our boy isn't exactly the most stable person. (sorry for the collages, but since there is a tumblr picture limit i have to keep on collaging. yes i learnt from the last time) his hyperactivity mixes with his unstable mindset which makes him incresingly vulnerable to danger- which he likes. from when the first shift happened, he's been really careless about stuff but it's been all about his love for thrill.

and it irritates Tyler, too.

the main subplot about his character is that he's a person of excitement. guess what? ADHD people like the excitement, they like new things, they like the adrenaline and thrill. now, Aiden's main characteristic of being unstable mixed with ADHD makes him an even more reckless person. another thing mixing with the hyperactivity, is boundaries.

this part will mostly be about Ashlyn since the boundary issue only happens with her.

I talked about this on Ashlyn's side on my Ashlyn analysis, now it's time for Aiden's side.

he's really annoying to her at first. Ashlyn is someone with lots of boundaries, like high walls. and who tries to climb them with his dumbass? Aiden of course.

she kept rejecting his efforts to befriend her for some time, until the night they stole the jeep. then she managed to actually bring the walls down, and accept them all into her life. but damn was she blunt.

felt that honestly

and Aiden understands her that night, too.

Ashlyn was hesistant to hug him, yes, he was aware. but she still did which made him realize she was also trying. i have to tell you, people with ADHD and people with autism either have trouble getting along, or go perfectly well. my ADHD sibling for example, I have to push them away for a lot and tell them to lower their voice. but once they remember my boundaries it actually becomes a normal, even pleasant hangout. which, Aiden realizes and tries to get along with. he tries.

seeing his efforts on her boundaries makes something click in her mind. and she starts to be a lot nicer when they hang out in the arcade.

Aiden eventually learns and remembers what she's like and what she loves to do. he already tried to watch her ballet sessions once -got slammed-, he's been to her room where he remembered the mat from and her fighting makes it obvious. I'm sure he knew he'd get cooked by betting that. but he still did,

because he knew it'd interest her. which he succeeded, he saw her smile again. the arcade day went great until Barron and his gang pulled up, but if we ignore that part it all went well. Aiden started to understand and respect her boundaries.

anyways then Tyler fucking dies

he knows that Ashlyn feels guilty. Aiden wants to comfort her through it, but also do it correctly. without going over any boundaries. which makes him really,

really,

really surprised when she responds.

also including this pannel cause its hilarious

here we see that he's still trying. hell, I'm sure he spent minutes thinking if he should come close physically to help her. that's probably why he just nudged her softly before anything else. he's not used to it, he has to conciously make an effort to not cross said boundaries. keeping his voice lower, try to not be so reckless, not doing anything physically close unless she reciprocates. wow how i wish another someone i knew irl tried that hard instead of blaming it on me cOUGH COUGH COUGH

also other small things to include

he's yapping a lot

he has a comically large amount of puzzles in his backpack for one single trip

and sticks his head into lamps for some reason

but that's just Aiden and his little neurodivergent brain for ya.

now the part I wanted to get to the most.

Borderline Personality Disorder.

first, what is Borderline Personality Disorder?

shortened as BPD, borderline is when someone's mood is inconsistent and swinging. think of it's name; the person's mental state is in the border, in the border line, switching up fastly. the most easily understood and common type is when the person goes from a depression to a happy state. but no matter which state they are in and/or go to, one thing stays the same: it is unstable.

one thing about borderline is that it is frequently mixed with bipolar. however bipolar is a neurodivengercy which means it is what someone is born with and cannot be changed. but borderline is obtained later in life. it usually happens with depression. bipolar is much more random and the episodes last longer in comparison. it may last up to hours, and the person's memory might have trouble remembering their episodes. borderline, on the other hand, is a short-lived mood swing.

now here. here's the catch; people with BPD during mood swings can have reckless behaviour, suicidal thoughts -in his case as far as we know, lowered sense of protecting himself- or a loss of understanding danger. sounds familiar?

borderline's recklessness and dangerousness, sometimes self-destructive acts combines with ADHD's love for thrill and excitement, combined with Aiden's own personality all make up for a great condition of instability.

Aiden's behaviour constantly goes crazy, I think his most frequent mood swing might be his normal self (at least, as normal as he could be) to this more maniac way of acting. I noticed it from his eyes, when he's in a more calm-ish normal state his pupils are a bit more dilated. in the pictures above, you can clearly see that he's still in the episode; filled with the adrenaline, the unstable way of thinking.

but, what causes that? surely a mental illness such as borderline doesn't happen on it's own.

right?

cause it didn't.

it never works that way.

but it can get better.

eventually.

but what happened to him?

personally, as much as a large amounnt of people seems to believe it's something like family abuse I don't think so. maybe neglect, maybe withdrawal, maybe maybe. but we've seen his parents. I don't think they would hurt him like that. I can't put any more pictures, but this is the last part anyway. his parents seem to be kind and gentle, despite that picture in his house. I'm thinking the picture was only for the dramatic effect. his parents said that he used to be really calm and quiet during Lily's birthday, and both Aiden and Ben seem comfortable around them. they were happy taking Ben in too, any kind of abusive parent wouldn't do that at least that's what I believe. also there is that Aiden got serious and concerned when he learnt that their parents were also in the facility, most likely worried for his own as you would have thought.

there was a post that I've been trying to find for like half an hour, I commented on it but I can't find the post now. the person talked about their own theory. if I remember correctly it was that when Aiden was depressive as a child, his parents took him to a thrilling activity like the ones he's been talking about (bungee-jumping, skydiving etc.) and the thrill made him actually get excited. which is why his parents allowed him to go even more reckless, because they are aware of how prone their son could be to the depression.

what happened? let's ignore the parents factor. someone can have a loving family and still be traumatized, someone can be taken care of and still feel abandoned, someone can never have confronted a situation they are terrified of.

one of my theories is that, the loneliness. it must get to a child heavily considering children need to not be left alone, but Aiden was. he didn't have any actual friends since they always moved from one place to another from his parents' business, and they might have not had enough time to make for him (which I believe is bullshitting, every child deserves to be taken some time out for. some people quit their jobs entirely for their child.) and be unaware, and that doesn't change that he was still depressed and alone. his depressive state was seemingly before Ben was taken in. now here one thing with borderline, at least from my experience, is faking actions. smiles, laughs, friendships, conversations... almost as if there's two different lives; one fake, and one real. you keep on switching, you keep on swinging between the sides where you're yourself and where you're just mimicking 'normal human behaviour'.

it starts from faking a happy state during their depression, and by time you're faking it it becomes an automatic adition to your personality. to your mind. once it furthers, it becomes the disorder. Aiden we see is always smiling. it becomes a habit that only breaks sometimes. now, I'm not saying his smile is fake- I think his face is literally just stuck like that. it breaks ever so slightly sometimes. fake it till ya make it yanno? that kind of thing. and when he swings from his calm mood to his borderline-d mood, his pupils get small and his smile gets worse. noticably worse. I'll be rereading the series (AGAIN) and this time look at all the small details since Red loves putting them and I love theorizing so

which, wraps up the Aiden thing! im actually really proud of how i could put my thoughts into text which i never could. i'd love any additions because i love other opinions as well.

and you know what? im glad Ash and Ai are out of the place because the rest are what I'm actually looking forward to >:)

...and i should sleep. really.

(wow sorry yall i finished this hours ago and said 'alright reread to make sure its good before sleep' and fell asleep through it lol sorry for 4 hour delay ig)

(leaving for school rn see yall 8 hours later 🫡)

#sbg #sbgblr #sbg (webtoon)#school bus graveyard #school bus graveyard webtoon #schoolbus graveyard #aiden clark #ashlyn banner #sbg aiden #sbg ashlyn

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windcarvedlyre · 3 months ago

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Rewatched part of ch1's trial and found something else that's really interesting in hindsight!

We're all familiar with Komaeda's FTE; over a decade later, there's still some room for debate wrt whether he was telling the truth about his diagnoses or not. My stance was already that he was telling the truth, instantly regretted it, and lied that he was lying, and I will die on that hill. I think the above lines reinforce my stance further.

Hear me out. I might as well make this a comprehensive 'Komaeda wasn't lying' post while I'm at it.

For reference, here's the entire final FTE.

The reasons I already had to believe him are as follows, ordered from strongest to weakest:

Komaeda almost died from despair disease; he was much more severely affected than Owari and Mioda. Lymphoma can weaken your immune system, leaving you more vulnerable to infections. While Komaeda's degree of illness could also have been due to bad luck, this could easily be an intentional hint about him.

He claims he's wanted someone's love all along. Again in chapter 3, after the trial, Tsumiki targets his lack of loved ones and seems to genuinely perturb him, indicating this is a real insecurity:

Behavioural variant frontotemporal dementia, or bvFTD, can have symptoms that align with a lot of his social and behavioural issues in the game. bvFTD symptoms can include saying socially inappropriate things/being rude and insensitive, rash/impulsive behaviour, empathy issues, and rigid thinking, among other things. Do I even need to cite examples of these? He can still hide things and manipulate people sometimes, but his ch4 investigation segment proves he's genuinely socially impaired. He sometimes fails to understand the emotional nuances of other people and the impact his words will have. For example:

(Though he still has moments of self-awareness and introspection; he acknowledges he's pessimistic in his introduction and worries he'll make Hinata hate him by saying weird things in Island Mode.)

Issues with memory, cognition in general, etc, are more of a thing in later stages of the disease, so Komaeda having significant social impairments but still being extremely sharp and lacking noticeable lapses in memory makes sense.

Physically Komaeda just doesn't seem healthy in general. He's pale, skinny, his hair is white (possibly fading into a pinkish brown that I could see being his hair colour in the past), and- at least in Japanese- he sounds really breathy and wheezy. I once laughed in a way uncannily similar to his ch1 breakdown when I had a chest infection. With asthma. Stage 3 lymphoma symptoms can include chest pain, shortness of breath, weight loss, loss of appetite and fatigue. If it's still stage 3 it's present in lymph nodes above and below the diaphragm but hasn't metastasized outside of the lymphatic system yet, but if it's advanced to stage 4 since his diagnosis then it may have spread to his lungs as well- having further potential to cause respiratory issues.

In his second-last FTE he starts to tell Hinata about something before he entered Hope's Peak but stops himself, not wanting to 'burden' Hinata. And leaves immediately to end the conversation. He'd just told Hinata how his parents died in front of him, showing zero awareness of how bad it was or how it would affect Hinata, so it must have been real bad for him to do this. And makes it less plausible he was impulsively repeating something from a book later, imo.

Iirc at least one spinoff manga runs with it being true, depicting him in a doctor's office during a nightmare. I'm too tired to hunt this down now; maybe I'll edit it in later.

On a meta level I just find it less compelling for the final reward for spending so much time with him to be 'Here's some actual vulnerability- lol psyche, remember he's manipulative? He might still want sympathy, you be the judge'. It would make the aborted confession at the end the only thing we can't infer from elsewhere in the game already. On the other hand, the diagnoses being real, and him trying to take it back and distract Hinata with an incitement to kill him (before also trying to confess his crush and aborting that too, he's a mess there), really really adds depth to his character.

Semi-tangentially, some people with bvFTD also develop neurological problems that affect movement- eg. making them slow and stiff. There's no evidence for or against Komaeda having this in canon afaik, and I've read it's more of a thing in later stages of the disease, but in the ch1 trial he talks about the threatening letter as if it's in his actual handwriting, and if so... it looks pretty stiff, doesn't it? Either it was angular on purpose or the writer has trouble with fluid hand movements. Let me know if he displays fine motor skills anywhere else, I guess.

The only real counterargument is that he's outlived the 6-12 months he was expected to, but:

The estimate is presumably from the cancer, which is treatable. FTD can take years and years, even 10+, to reach the later stages.

That's an estimate, not set in stone, and real people have survived after being told they have X months to live without supernatural luck.

In either case, it doesn't matter how dire the prognosis is if Komaeda's involved. If the chance of him surviving something isn't zero it will probably happen. When he finally managed to kill himself it wasn't even real.

Anyway, the thing I started the post with! Compare the lines below.

In both cases he's said something that could make others feel bad for him, immediately takes it back, and claims he did that on purpose.

But he wasn't actually lying in the first line, albeit hamming it up a little. He wanted someone to kill him. This happened while he was still pretending to be the killer, after Saionji asked him why he sent the letter. He dropped a hint about the truth and then deflected away from it, likely intentionally antagonising people to distract them from thinking too hard about what he just implied and make them more averse to empathising with him.

So what could that imply about the lines from his FTE?

TL;DR: He told the truth about having cancer and dementia, your honour. There's not only strong evidence for this but precedent for the sort of deflection he made afterwards.

#danganronpa #dr2 #sdr2 #komaeda #nagito komaeda #dr analysis #you think you've seen my komaeda brainrot in its entirety? FOOLS.#god i spent ages on this i hope it's coherent lmao #inb4 kodaka's been like 'yeah he has them' since and this entire post is pointless haha #edited this to rearrange something forgive me if it breaks some formatting #komaedology

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nahoney22 · 2 years ago

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Beyond the Fall***

Tech X F!Reader

word count: 6.8k

*gif is mine so please credit if used.*

warnings: Spoilers for TBB Episode 9. Enemies to Lovers NSFW. Explicit Sexual Content, sex pollen, dub-con in both parties but also somewhat pretty aware, solo masturbation (reader), begging, swearing, slight mention of breeding kink, several positions, p in v, rough sex, creampie but reader mentions that she is protected. accidental confessions of true feelings I suppose. comfort at the end. Arguing at the start. Not proofread ngl.

When you take a tumble down a deep hole, you did not think for a second that Tech would dive in straight after you. With tensions on the high anyway, what fares when you both experience a certain aphrodisiac within the water.

“Tell me, how exactly did you and Wrecker miss our ship being compromised?”

You watched in shocked awe as the Marauder, your home for going on the last eight months flying away without a crew member on board. Luckily, Wrecker answered Tech’s irritating question for you.

“Maybe if you hadn’t docked it out of view, we would have seen someone approaching.”

“Well, there was no other suitable landing zone, Wrecker.” Tech scolds.

“Yes there was,” you snapped at the goggled clone, eyes fuming with anger, “I suggested landing just on the ledge above and you said no.”

“The terrain was not suitable so I suggest you do not tell me where to dock my ship.”

You laughed mockingly at him, scoffing. “Your ship? How about next time you be the lookout then!”

“Perhaps I will.” He retorted, posture tense, “Although, the likelihood of getting the ship back is very slim.” His brown eyes are frowning at you from behind his helmet. His eyes always had that judging look when he looked your way which was enough to make your blood boil.

But when you looked at Omega, your heart sank. The others may not have noticed but you didn’t miss the glistening of unshed tears in her eyes as the bunch of you argue.

“Don’t worry Omega, it will be fine.” You reassure her softly, placing a hand to her shoulder.

Ever since Echo departed with Rex, the atmosphere had been tense. There was something about the man that had managed to keep the squad together, and with his departure, the cracks were starting to show. Nonetheless, this did not have a significant effect on your relationship with Tech, which had always been a bit unsteady.

“Other than the fact we have barely any food, shelter and mode of transportation, sure.” Tech interjects shortly before strutting off. You shot him an annoyed look before rolling your eyes.

“Ignore him.” You tell her before the lot of you venture off to find any signs of life.

————

“What is your issue?”

With the Ipsium now gone, a rare and expensive mineral that you all came to this damned planet for, you find yourself trapped inside one of the vaults after the mineral exploded. So clearly, the mishap of the ship going missing was the start of the downfall.

His words were somewhat callous and lacked sympathy as he spoke down to Omega who was very frustrated and emotional, her young self looking to each and every one of you. Unfortunately, it was Tech who had to open his mouth.

You watched Omega leave, Hunter trying to get her to stay but after she insisted she wanted to be alone. As the team turned to Tech, you could sense their agitation and annoyance with his lack of empathy. You couldn't help but add your own thoughts to the mix, clapping slowly with a hint of sarcasm in your voice.

"Good job, Tech," you said, trying to make him understand the gravity of his words.

Tech, who had taken a seat on a boulder, was confused and looked over at you, frowning. "What did I say wrong?"

"You were stating the obvious," you voice with a grunt, grabbing your water canister and taking a gulp before saying, "but maybe you could've been a bit more empathetic."

“Would you rather me lie to her?” He counters, raising his brow as if to challenge you.

"It's not about lying, Tech. It's about understanding, especially in times like these."

"I was simply using logic," Tech defended himself. "Telling her the truth is the best way to handle the situation."

You took a deep breath, trying to control your rising frustration. "It's not about just telling her the truth, Tech. It's about how you say it.”

Although you did not particularly like Tech, nor did he seem to like you it seems, you felt a little bad that you had to discuss with him his lack of social skills and emotional response to certain situations. He had always been this way, down to his genetic programming but for someone so smart, he can’t see the bigger picture sometimes. “Can’t you see she is upset?”

“I am aware that Omega is frustrated at the present moment but that has nothing to do with me. Omega needs to be aware that these situations happen and one of us has to be the voice of reason and therefore, logical conversation is the best approach.” He holds his finger in the air, “I understand if this goes over your head.”

You gritted your teeth, trying to contain your anger but to no avail. "Will you stop being an arse to me? We're all in the same boat here, and I will not have you speak to me like that!" Your raised voice strained as you spoke. Never had you been so bitter towards someone in your life as of right now. Not only has he made matters worse with an already sensitive Omega, he blamed you for not seeing the ship being taken, he basically called you stupid to your face… you’re surprised steam was not coming out of your ears at this point.

You storm off for a few minutes to collect yourself and in the meantime, Hunter folds his arms and glares across at his brother. “Well that’s one way of telling her you like her.”

Tech went to speak but no words came out, a little aghast at Hunter's insinuation. “I do not know what you’re talking about.” He mumbled a tad.

“Sure you don’t.” He unfolds his arms and begins to push away at some of the rocks. “Get back to work.”

Tech spots you from the corner of his eyes, your hands running over your face in presumed stress and just for a mere second, he is conflicting with his emotions.

———

The second you heard that Tech was off to find Omega, you don’t really know why Hunter and Wrecker suggested you go with him. Albeit, something in your gut was telling you to go along anyway, so you did.

Your heart was thumping with every step you took alongside him, the eeriness of the mine only adding to the palpable tension.

“Question, why do you think they wanted you to come with me?”

You’re surprised he’s making conversation but that wasn’t exactly unlikely of him.

“I don’t know.” You grunt, not interested in talking to him at all at the moment. You also had a feeling it was so he didn’t upset Omega even more and to smooth things out but Hunter could sense how irate you got around Tech so this little mission together will be enlightening.

When you nudged Tech and pointed towards Omega’s gear on the floor, you’re a little precarious to see her extracting the mineral that got them in this mess in the first place.

“Hey love, you doing alright?” You ask softly, peering through the small hole she had made to crawl through. When your heart landed on the large gaping hole beside her feet however you grew hot under your collar.

“Fine.” She muttered, extracting the last bit from the section she was at. “What are you two doing here?”

"We came to see where you were, of course," you say softly, hoping to bring some comfort to her. That is until Tech decides to interject.

"And to find some Ipsium," he blurts out, causing you to shoot him a disapproving look. He quickly gets the message and coughs, trying to rectify the situation. "Which you are already cleverly extracting for us. Great job."

“No,” Omega mutters, pulling the drill away and finally looking up at you both, “why are you two here? Together? You hate one another.”

The pair of you froze. Even though it was clear that there was some kind of tension between the two of you, always bickering, hate was certainly a strong word. In fact, you knew what it was like to hate someone and you never felt it with Tech. You felt something, though you could not pinpoint what it was exactly.

Tech looks at you, gauging your reaction but he did not understand the look on your face.

“Hate is not the word I would use.” You finally speak up, voice a little timid as Tech stood next to you. You didn’t want to add fuel to the already blazing fire between the pair of you, nor did you want to upset Omega any further. “We just have different thoughts about things.”

She blinks at you both before subtly rolling her eyes. “Whatever you say.”

You sighed, head slumped before moving out of the way to let Tech speak with her.

Thankfully, Tech quickly changes the topic. “How much have you extracted?”

“Just this vial. Figured we could use it to blow ourselves out of here.” She holds it up to him, a little irritated that he didn’t take it from her grasp.

You stood back and watched the exchange and you can tell he is definitely trying to make it up to her. Although he is not apologising upfront nor discussing it, you figured his best approach is to forget it and move on.

When they both come up with an agreement, the tension slowly fading away between them, there’s one vial left but the extraction point looks just a little bit out of Omega’s reach.

“I’ll get that one if you want?” You suggest, not liking the way she was almost creeping over the edge of a large black hole.

Omega wants to finish the job herself but knows that you were probably better suited as you were taller. “Okay, I’m going to go back to the others then.” She wipes some sweat off her brow before swapping places with you.

Tech peers through the hole you just crawled in, tapping away at his datapad. “Are you aware of how this procedure goes?” He asks once Omega vacates the area.

You reach down and grab the drill, looking to the final piece that was in a very precarious place. “Yep.” You reply shortly, trying not to get distracted.

“Do we really need this last one?” You mutter more to yourself but Tech had a keen ear.

“If we are to have extra, then not only can we escape this place but we will also be compensated for it.” He pushes his goggles up his nose. “So yes.”

“Great.”

It was no easy feat and several times you had to alter your position, crouching, leaning and every other position to make sure you’re safe but it didn't help at all when you had someone breathing down your neck.

“Are you nearly done?” You jump a little, turning around to see Tech staring at you with a bored expression.

“I’m trying my best, Tech.” You sneer, turning back to the task at hand.

“You need to lean closer.”

You groan in frustration and enthusiastically point to the gaping abyss. “Do you need your goggles cleaned or can you not see this hole? I’ll be done, when I’m done!”

In a moment of weakness, you had reached across as prodded by Tech but just a tad overstepped, sending you over the edge.

“Tech!” You squeak, clawing onto the jagged rocks to hold yourself up, panic shooting through you as your feet scrambled to cling onto anything.

His eyes widen in horror and in a blink he is by your side, reaching across to you. “Take my hand.”

You take a breath and let go with one hand, reaching for him. But as your fingers brush against his, you’re not strong enough to hold on and fall into the abyss.

He screams your name, standing up and with no second thought, he jumps down after you.

The water was tumultuous as you struggled to keep your head above the water. Your arms and legs are kicking, the energy you had slowly fading as you struggle against the current.

Then you heard your name.

“Tech!” You called out with a sob as the water thrashed over your face and partially down your throat.

He swam towards you as fast as he could, shouting your name as you cried out for help while your body crashed against the jagged rocks, your lungs filling with water.

But Tech soon caught up to you, wrapping his arms around you tightly as you both rode the current into the unknown. When you were suddenly confronted by a waterfall, you both cascaded over it, splashing into a peaceful pool.

You emerged from the water, gasping for air but began to panic when you didn't see your savior; Tech.

“Tech! Where are you?” You gasp, searching the water to see if he had been swept under

but relief washes through you as he quickly emerged from the water moments later, gasping for breath and searching for you.

You both lock eyes, panting heavily before you start to swim for an embankment, crawling onto land. You’re coughing violently, some water pumping out of you as Tech collapsed onto his back, pulling his goggles back to wipe away the water droplets.

You lay staring at the rocky yet blue illuminated ceiling, catching back your breath as your wet clothes hung to your body. You sit up eventually, looking at the bright pool of blue you and Tech just got submerged in before glancing around.

“It appears we have entered an underground aqueduct surrounded by plenty of Ipsium.” Tech acknowledges, sitting up and looking around too. “Not the best place for you to lure us into but not the worst.”

You processed his words and even now, he had the nerve to put the blame on you. “Are you saying this is my fault?”

“Partly, yes.” He replies nonchalantly.

You scoff, standing up and moving away from him. “I can’t believe you. Are you really doing this? Now?”

He watches you move and stands too but remains where he was. “Simply stating facts.”

You look at him in disbelief, running a hand through your sopping wet hair. “Did I ask you to jump down with me?”

He shifts, suddenly feeling a little warm under the collar. “Well no but-.”

“And was I the one to initially upset Omega?”

“It can be argued we all had a part in that-.”

“Was it you who allowed me to get the last bit of Ipsium?” You bombard him with questions, all of it leading up to now. “Was it you who told me to lean in closer?”

His jaw clenched, fists tightening. “If you and Wrecker had not let our ship get stolen, we wouldn’t be here at all.”

“I told you to dock it somewhere else! In view!” You shout, voice booming around the small hidden cave.

“And why would I rely on anything you have to say to me? You have not an ounce of my intelligence nor knowledge of planets. You do not know how to drive a ship, let alone instruct the pilot where it should land.” He rants, eyes trained on you, both of your breathing hard and heavy, tension so thick it felt like nothing could cut it. “Know your place in this squad.”

His words hurt. A lot. No matter how much you bickered he had never said anything so belittling to you. Stress is evident on both of your faces given the situation but to hear how he supposedly felt about you was difficult to swallow. “I… you’re impossible.” You whisper but he still hears it.

The second he heard you sniffle, he wanted to instantly narrow it down that you instantly got a cold from the water but as you aggressively wiped away a tear and stormed off, he knew he took it too far. Does he chase after you? No. He figured you wanted to be left alone just like he learnt with Omega. So in the meantime, he tried to contact the others.

You sat on the other side of the cave, your knees hugged to your chest as you just sat and hoped that Tech could summon a message to the others. In the meantime as you sat, you tried to ignore the odd pulse circulating under the skin of your palms. But, it started getting progressive and a wave of scorching heat flushed your body.

A whimper parts your lips and you begin to quickly strip the gear from your body and throw it around you carelessly. “Why’s it so fucking hot in here?” You gasp to yourself, tugging on the high collar of your body glove.

“I too am suddenly feeling quite feverish.” Tech’s voice sounded next to you making you jolt. As you look up at him, your eyes drank in his tall, slender figure. You swallow the saliva that started to pool in your throat, pushing the clouded thoughts to the back of your mind.

“Did you get contact with the others?” You rasp, moving yourself onto your knees, staring down at the water as you try and steady your breathing that suddenly becomes ragged and scratched at your throat.

Tech shakes his head and quietly sits beside you, unconsciously tugging at his now soaked clothes as he feels as though he’s been dipped in lava. “No, I can’t get a clear signal.” He says steadily, blinking quickly as sweat starts to seep into his goggles and blur his vision.

You could almost moan in despair but the only whimper that parted through your lips was one of searing pleasure.

“T-Tech, do you feel… different?” You whisper, looking up at him through hooded eyes.

Tech looks back down at you, pulling his goggles up onto his head to swipe the dripping of sweat from his eyes and he almost gasps at the sight of you.

Your lips looked full, parted and wanting. Your skin glowed with a distinctive hue that he couldn’t quite put his finger on but as he stands above you, seeing you on your knees a wave of pleasure shoots straight to his cock. He closes his eyes, tight. Mentally trying to snap him out of this precarious situation and then an idea popped into his head.

His hands, now shaking and pulsing under his gloves reach to one of his many sections of his utility belt before pulling out a single vial, and swiping up the water the pair of you plummeted in.

You chew on the inside of your cheek. Hard. So hard you think you think you could have drawn blood but it’s nothing compared to the bite at the center of your core as your heart races with nothing but desire. You needed to touch yourself.

“Oh dear,” he finally says.

“What is it?”

Tech slumps against one of the boulders that surrounded the cave, a mixture of different emotions flushing through him. Confusion, worry and a whole lot of desire. “The water… it appears to be polluted which is why we are reacting to it.”

“You want to narrow that down?” You groan, falling onto your back as your fingers deep into the rough texture of sand beneath your body to refrain yourself from reaching down and begin to relieve this brewing sensation.

Tech's eyes that were trying so hard to stare at the datapad in his hand only start to move to longing gaze at you, watching you physically writhe on the floor as a mixture of whines and moans erupt from your mouth. “It’s polluted with,” he gulps, trying to now ignore how physically aching it was to feel his length pressed against his pants, “aphrodisiacs.”

The word itself made you mewl and although you should feel panicked and alarmed, the burning feeling between your legs followed by the throbbing pulse all over your body was taking over instead. “W-what do we do?”

Not knowing what he was doing, his hand lowers to his crotch and stars to slowly palm himself at the sight of you tugging and tearing at your bodysuit to rip it from your body. The moment of weakness stops and he quickly snaps out of what he’s doing and diverts his gaze and body away from you. “To erase the side effects you will need to masturbate in order to form the release. An o-orgasm,” he grunts, gripping onto the boulder as the word makes his cock twitch, “is the only way to stimulate. I will leave you alone to engage in this process.”

The second Tech moves away to the other side of the cave to take care of himself, you have pulled yourself out of your body glove and began the impulse of pleasuring yourself.

Your hand flushed down your thigh and then to your bare sex, pressing two fingers harshly down against your clit that had you wailing out in ecstasy. “Oh f-f-fuck!” Your whole body arches in response to the touch to your bud, circling motions rapidly as you beg for the quick release that is brewing.

Your moans and swears echo around the cave, deafening out the noise of the waterfall that poured down. But it’s not enough.

Frantically, your fingers move to your sopping wet entrance, curling inside of you and rubbing back and forth as your opposite hand now rubs furiously at your clit. Although your body spasms, the burning that felt like your body was aflame with sexual desire would not fade. Moans become erratic, it isn’t long until you’re begging for your own release as you writhe pathetically on the ground.

Then, you said his name. The one person who you knew could push you over the edge. “Teeeeeech,” you call his name. Wanting. Needing.

Within the space of maybe ten seconds, a shadow looms over your sweating and spasming body and as your eyes open, you melt to see Tech in the nude, pumping his cock that was glistening in precum.

“You look so wonderful like that,” he purrs, licking his lips as he stands over you and strokes his cock in frantic motions. “I knew it wouldn’t be long until you would be begging for me.”

“P-please Tech,” you grit, fingers going completely numb with the constant strumming against your clit, “it’s too much, I need you.”

The second your back arches, Tech falls to his knees beside you and slings an arm around your back. He’s swift in his movements and he’s uttering the most indiscreet filth he could before diving his fingers straight into your core without a second thought.

His fingers hook inside you, pulsing all the while expertly have his thumb rubbing at your bud.

“Oh my stars! Tech, please don’t stop, please make this burning go away.” You beg him, writhing under his touch as his hand rocks against you, sending you into a flurry of loud groans.

“That’s it darling, take my fingers. Maker, you’re sublime and a little begging mess for me. Glorious.” Tech grunts as his hand starts to spasm, his pace relentless and despite wanting you to cum all over his fingers so he could taste you, he didn’t expect for a second for your hand to come down and grab at his cock and balls.

Your hands look small in comparison to his length, his skin hot to the touch that felt like silk. With your touch alone, it has him bucking his hips as you both mutually pleasure one another. “You’ve got such a pretty cock, Tech,” you whimper, looking down at his member that twitched in your hands both somewhat aware and non aware of the lewd words that pour from your lips.

“And you’ve got the most perfect little pussy that needs pleasuring. And am I doing that?” Tech locks eyes with you, dark and filled with an unspoken need. “Am I pleasuring you enough?”

“Yes! Fuck yes, you are. I think I’m going to cum soon.” You tremble and in your heart, you didn’t want him to stop the incessant rampage of his fingers against your cunt.

As you pump along his throbbing cock, Tech feels himself start to edge closer and close to his release. He’s whimpering, a sound you never thought you’d be blessed of hearing but there’s something about him that makes you tingle. His eyes trail down from your face to your breast, mouth salivating at the thought of ramming his cock between the perfect mounds.

“Kiss them, please.” You had caught his leering and without a second thought he bends down and latches his lips to your stiff peaks, tongue licking aggressively against the sensitive skin.

Your legs begin to shake, the touch of his hands agaisnt you, the feeling of his tongue licking feverishly against you followed by the gesture of you wanking caused your body to shoot, making you wail as you hit your climax.

Tech follows soon after, his hot ribbon seeping over your fist as he his hips stutter.

You let out a longing gasp, elbows shaking as you prop yourself up to see Tech’s glistening fingers pull out of your body lewdly.

The silence was ringing and for a moment, you didn’t dare look to Tech. Your heart race is the realisation of what just took place began to hit but not as quick as another jolt of pulsations straight to your clit once again.

“Tech,” you rasp out and consciously grip onto his wrist, shaking, “I’m sorry but-.”

“I’m aware.” Tech whispers and as you finally meet his gaze, you look down and see that his cock was already hard and twitching for your touch.

“I didn’t mean for any of this to happen,” you manage out before the aphrodisiac overpowers you once again.

Tech nods quickly in understanding and in the faintest of touches, he cups your cheek, “I know.”

Quicker than before, the wave of desire washed over you both and simultaneously you both lean in, lips slanting over one another as his tongue plunged straight into your mouth. Both of you fought against each other, thick muscles that spent so much time bickering at another now dancing in a fiery passion.

He’s crawling on top of you now, his cock sliding against your thigh and stomach as you maintain this intense make out session but it was going on for too long. You just couldn’t bear another second without his cock inside of you.

“Fuck me,” you plead, “I need you to fuck me so hard I can’t walk for a week. I want you to ram your cock so deep inside me, please.” You moan against his lips, words of filth that were almost unholy to hear that made Tech let out a guttural snarl as he pulled away from your lips and quickly positioned himself between your now spread legs.

His tip presses to his entrance but he’s not shy in letting his hands roam your body, tweaking your nipples before resting them on your hips. “Maker, you do look breedable.”

In one quick motion, he’s breached your entrance in a swift motion, buried inside you.

“STARS! TECH!” Your cries in delight boom around the cave, your body beautifully glowing from the pool of water beside you both as he almost bottoms out ontop of you.

“K-Kriff,” he stutters, feeling your walls clench around him like a vice, the burning through his veins temporarily subsiding before absolutely rocking his cock in and out of you like a man desperate for air.

His hands clasp at your waist, fingers biting down into your flesh as your body shoves down against the ground with every resounding thrust he gives you. “Could fuck this little pussy all night if I have to,” he grunts through gritted teeth, eyes dark.

If you weren’t intoxicated by this sensation you would be in complete shock at his words, but instead you let his words carve into your mind as his hips rock back and forth all the while your gazes are locked on another.

In a moment of weakness, his hand moved from your hip and over your breast, caressing the soft mound with his fingers as a devilish smirk plasters his face. “I’ve always imagined your breasts to be divine to touch. So wonderful to know I was correct.” He sings, admiring you from above.

“They’re all yours Tech,” you submit to him, eyes heavy, “you can have me whenever, wherever. Just please don’t stop.”

A noise emits from him and you gasp as he manages to flip you so you're now on your front, forced to your hands and knees before he starts to take you from behind, spanking your cheeks with his thighs with every hard thrust. “You shouldn’t have said that mesh’la, can you not understand that I have wanted to fuck you for so, so long? Having to, ugh fuck-.” He pauses his unfiltered words, in awe of how pretty you looked arched downwards as he seethes his aching cock into you, “having to watch you all day everyday and never being able to express my desires.”

Again, your mind is too boggled to completely comprehend the seriousness of his words. Your cries of pleasure strain in your throat and your eyes burn with desire as Tech’s hands grip to your lower back, pushing you down to the ground as he hits you with wanting thrusts.

“You’re fucking me so good Tech. Why haven’t we done this sooner?”

Tech’s low chuckle does something to you as your words did to him, “Next time instead of fighting, we should just fuck. Or maybe, if you want me to submit,” Tech breathes through each thrust, seeing himself pull his cock out that’s now glistening with your juices, “be a whore and suck my cock. You obviously like it, don’t you?”

“Y-yes! Yes I love your cock! It feels so good in my pussy. Bet it’s even better between my lips.” You entice, looking over your shoulder at him which sparked something wild in him.

He pulls out despite being spurred on, leaving you almost begging for him. But this time you’re being pulled into his lap, tongues already dancing against each other the moment your lips meet as you seethe onto his thick length.

“You may think my cock would be better between your lips, but I have never felt anything better than it being inside you.” He whispers to your lips, almost a glimmer of reality snapping back to you both as his words weren’t exactly driven by the intoxins - rather something else.

You’re smirking against his mouth and that’s when the desperation of needing to be fucked hard again, boils. As you begin to move your hips, frantically back and forth and rocking against his cock, his eyes shoot wide open and he’s whimpering tirelessly in front of you.

“That’s it, that’s my girl! What an edacious creature you are. Riding my cock like a good slut. Can’t get enough, can you?” He is holding onto your waist, fingers biting against the flesh once more as you tilt your head back, rhythm changing from back and forth to up and down. Your tits are bouncing in his face that he wasted no time in burying his face into the mounds, kissing and sucking against your skin.

He had lost his sense of self completely now and was driving in pure instinct alone that when his tongue slid over one of your nipples, you gasped in approval. With your hands coming up and wrapping around his neck, your breathing is ragged and exacerbated whilst he uses you.

“You like it when I ride your cock, Tech? Huh? You love my pussy don’t you? Maker, could sit on your cock all day and never get enough.” Words of filth ooze out your mouth ease, making Tech react to your words with wanton moans.

Tech’s lips glaze over your beasts, leaving marks of today's antics as a reminder all the while claiming you. “Don’t stop darling, don’t you dare stop until you have milked every last drop of my seed until it seeps out of your little hole.”

You’re wet, warm, and velvet soft around Tech’s cock, taking him to the base with greed. He picks up a rhythm, matching yours as rocking his hips up and into you steadily as the blue shine of the cave reflects on your naked and sweating bodies.

Minutes that felt like both hours and seconds passed, Tech pounding you at such a rapid pace that you were confident your pussy was getting warmer. Skin prickling with tingles, you knew you were about to cum.

“Tech! Oh fuck, Tech I think I’m close to cumming! Make me cum! Please make me yours with your cum.” As you finished your thoughts, you cried out with joy, your entire body feeling like it was lighter than air while simultaneously being filled with every possible positive sensation it could possibly handle. Your mind lost all semblance of where you were, what had happened to you and what had gotten you to this point, instead focusing solely on Tech beneath you, still diligently pounding himself into you like he was sex starved.

As your mind slowly returns to reality and your breathing catches up with your body's senses, you’re aware of what was happening. Especially as you felt him still pounding into you. Tech was whining, grunting and groaning as he maintained smashing into you rapidly, and you could tell by the way he breathed and his determination that he must be close to climax.

Suddenly, he groans out your name. Shouting it so loud that it wouldn’t surprise you if the others had heard his cries from above. You could feel him driving himself as deep as he could go. A gasp emits from your lips as the burning that once was scorching your body from the water was replaced with the warm feeling of him filling you up with more cum than before.

Your lips part, words strangled in your throat as you felt his warm cum stuffing you while you guiltily enjoy the sensation. In fact, you could have sworn he was filling you to the point that you thought you may have had a second, smaller orgasm as he began his. Tech grunts with exertion as he finally finishes, his head flopping forward to rest against your shoulder, tiredly.

“Tech,” you whisper after what seemed like forever, hand gently resting on his shoulder to bring his head back to meet his gaze.

As the pair of you locked eyes, it clicked instantly what just happened. How one second you were arguing and then the next… Similar to you, his lips parts but this time he is speechless.

A wave of new emotions flooded over him, none of which he understood or could process. Though the more you looked into his eyes, the more you understood that jittering feeling in your stomach. But now was probably not the time to look into it.

Eventually, Tech carefully removed you from his lap and you had to hold your breath about how lewd it was feeling his now softening length pulling out of you.

He is silent when he collects his gear, slipping the damp clothing back on his body meanwhile you do the same.

He glances over his shoulder at you and a wave of worry hits him when he notices grazing over your back.

“Did I hurt you?”

Pausing, you quietly turn to look at him and see him gesture to your back. Awkwardly you glance down and audibly wince at the markings. But, from what you were aware, he wasn’t the cause of it. “No. It would’ve been from when I fell.”

“I see. When we head back to the ship I will gather supplies to help you clean it up.” He is fumbling around with his belongings, trying everything in his power to ignore what just happened but a pressing matter infiltrated his mind. “Speaking of supplies, we will need to head into the nearest village to locate any means of contraceptive-.”

“I’m on the pill, Tech.” You sigh, running a hand through your damp hair as you finish getting dressed before plopping yourself back on the sand, pulling your knees to your chest.

Tech looks down from over his datapad at you, unsure how to approach this. But after taking a deep breath, he silently sits beside you, both of you gazing into the water that did unspeakable things to you both.

“I am unsure what to say to set your mind at ease.” He starts, trepidation on his words. “Though I can imagine it is hard for you to also summarize how you’re feeling about his moment.”

You close your eyes, hoping that burning behind your eyes would subside because although he had seen you, all of you, you weren’t ready to let him see your tears. “You don’t have to say anything,”

Tech looks in your direction, eyes drinking in your features. “I… I am sorry.”

“What for? You did what you had to to help me.”

“I’m aware, but I am not apologising for that.” Your eyes open and a flurry of confusion crosses your face.

You turn your head to look at him, shocked a little to see him already looking back. “Then, what are you sorry for?”

A sigh parts his lips. “I am sorry for all the times I have been hard on you. I am also apologising for what I said previously about you having to know ‘your place in this squad’.” Your mind is reeling and all you can do is let him continue. “It has come to my attention, for a long time now, that you are a valuable asset. My behavior towards you is unwarranted.”

“But,” you lick your lower lip idly, not quite processing what he was saying, “I thought you hated me?”

“Hate is a strong word. And as we discussed with Omega before, I do not hate you. Differing ideologies is all.” He breathes out shakily, feeling a minimal weight leave his shoulders.

“So why are you hard on me?”

He rubs the back of his neck, a little unsure on how to answer. So often he had been judged for his blunt responses and now, he was finding it difficult to be honest. But, if the two of you were to never make it out of here - he may as well lay it all on the line.

“There is no denying that I struggle with emotions and how I reciprocate certain feelings from others. Truthfully, there is something about you that I find both irritating yet fascinating.”

He sneaks a glance at you as he speaks and he expected you to appear annoyed but instead, you appeared quite intrigued. Subtly, you nod your head to continue. “What I am trying to say is that I have a rooted attraction to you and feel as though pushing you away would help. But, it does not seem to be working.”

As you try to let his words sink in, you couldn’t help the feeling of your heart seeming to somewhat flutter at his admittance. All this time… he liked you? Truthfully your mind was still a little hazy to take it all in but there was now a burning question in the back of your mind. “Did you mean anything you said?”

“Indicating to what?” Tech asked gently though he had an inkling as to what you were referring to.

“You know…” you say shyly, cheeks emitting a certain heat.

He chews on the inside of his cheek, fully aware of what filth had poured from his lips only minutes ago. “From what I gather from aphrodisiacs is that it sends even the most sane people wild. All in all, a lot of truths are or have been told when under the influence.”

With a shaken breath, you close your eyes. “So it’s true that you’ve always wanted to fuck me? That’s what you said.”

“Yes. Yes, that is true.”

Oddly enough, you’re okay with this information. Although you can’t say you have felt the same but in the back of your mind, you still remember the sight of him above you and remembered word for word everything he said.

“I hope you do not think I have taken advantage of you - that would never, ever be the case. If I could have thought of a different solution then of course, I would have. There could be many anecdotes but-.”

“Tech.” You cut him off softly, clearly your silence was playing on his mind. You tilt your head to hom and offer him the softest smile he had ever been blessed to receive from you. “Thank you for saving me.”

A gasp echoes through the cave as you gently lace your fingers through his, a gentle squeeze that speaks a thousand words.

You weren’t too sure what was going to happen from now on. Would the others ever find you? What was to become of yours and Tech’s relationship? All you know is that if you were to fall into a cave filled with water with dangerous toxins with anybody - you’re somewhat glad it was Tech.

Masterlist

Tags and those who wanted to be tagged will be tagged in a sep post because tag limit and shite: @nunanuggets @andyoufollowyourheart t @kaitou2417 @eyecandyeoz @captxin-rex @cwarssimp @jesseeka @ashotofspotchka @oohyesplease @megafrost4 @theroguesully @equalityforcats @mustluvecho @misogirl828 @ladykatakuri @jambolska-grozdova @chxpsi @arctrooper69 @padawancat97 @rain-on-kamino @either-madness-or-brilliance @whore4rex @imperialclaw801 @staycalmandhugaclone @ko-neko-san @echos-girlfriend @fiveshelmet @dangraccoon @plushymiku-blog @tech-aficionado @grizabellasolo @therealnekomari @autumnleaves1991-blog @tech-depression-inventory @brynhildrmimi @greaser-wolf @tinyreadersmur @rintheemolion @seriowan @agenteliix @kaminocasey @the-good-shittt @photogirl894 @imalovernotahater @swiftiexstarwarssimp

#nahoney22 writes #the bad batch #tech x f!reader #the bad batch tech x reader #bad batch tech x reader #bad batch tech x you #tbb tech #tbb tech x fem reader #tbb #tech bad batch

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lmk-oc-competition · 2 months ago

Text

LMK OC COMPETITION - ROUND 1

click to see full image

Ari J belongs to @dragonnerd

Zǐmò belongs to @rolian-delayer

Learn more about them below the cut!

Ari J:

Name: Ari J.

Backstory: A woman with childhood trauma and no sense of purpose outside of work gets isekai'd from her normal boring world into Monkiekid from a portal device that Syntax was testing. Now she's on an adventure to find her way home while making friends and learning to survive in an unfamiliar world.

Age: 25

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Straight

Abilities: Really good at fixing technology/robots/vehicles.

Personality: Tomboyish, Chill, Friendly, Independent, a bit of a potty mouth, Stubborn.

Hobby: Robotics.

Likes: Coffee, Rock/Metal music, Trucks, Motorbikes, Butterflies, Robots.

Dislikes: Mornings, Sleeping, Cooking, Her bio parents, Dresses, Being called by her real full name.

Zǐmò:

Zǐmò is a creation made from Ink and is the student of Macaque

Zǐmò has their shadow magic thanks to the lantern that Macaque most of the time trust them with, they can form stuff with ink, their shadow magic is pretty limited but their ink abilities on the other hand isnt since they are made from ink.

Their weapon of choice is a Bo' staff (both ink and shadow) mostly using the shadow counterpart. But, they also use a baseball bat if they want to use more blunt force.

They're very 'blank' mostly don't really feel much, they lack empathy and sympathy or atleast aren't aware of empathy and sympathy.

#lmk #monkie kid #lego monkie kid #lmk oc #lego monkie kid oc #lmk oc competition #comp 2 round 1 #oc polls #ari j #zǐmò

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liminalpebble · 5 months ago

Text

Between the Lines, Chapter 4

Masterlist link

Minor DNI

Chapter 4

The words leave your mouth in a breathy hiss before you can possibly reel them back in.

“What are you doing?”

He releases his teeth from the soft skin between your neck and your shoulder to offer up a breathy chuckle. It fans over your skin like a brisk breeze and you shiver.

You're beginning to hate the sound of his laugh, and the sight of his smile; so haughty and superior and false. His mirth is a lie that doesn't fool you. The dark prince is deeply, terribly, alone, which might just be the key to unraveling the knots he's bound you in.

“I think we both know what I'm doing, my dear. The real question is, 'do you want me to stop?'.”

You hesitate, disoriented by his teasing and depleted from the vigilance his game requires of you. Your concentration truly enters its death throes once his graceful hand skims over your calf, up your thigh. His path lightly parts the delicate curtain of emerald fabric until he coaxes out a sliver of skin in his wake.

You gasp aloud, unable to silence or resist it, but still manage to say, “I wasn't aware I had a choice.”

“I'm not a barbarian. I want you to desire what I'm offering.”

As if to emphasize exactly what he's offering, Loki tilts his slim hips ever-so-subtly to press against you more firmly. His knuckles skim further up to the swell of your bare hip, then he cups it in his wide palm, kneading the supple flesh he finds there.

“I...I don't know. I can't...think. I'm so tired, Sire.” You delicately move the velvet back over your flesh, hoping it won't anger him.

It almost does, but as soon as the tide rises it recedes. The Prince is not accustomed to being denied exactly what he wants, exactly when he wants it. At first, Loki's eyes squint and lips harden into a firmer line, but then you turn to face him.

He hadn't braced himself for that; the way your doe eyes implore him for mercy, for some humanity, for empathy. He wasn't prepared to feel the way he does when your hand settles on his chest, directly over his heart where it drums hidden beneath his leather shell.

Flustered, Loki scolds himself with distaste, flustered and blushing like a bashful school boy, not a prince.

It's becoming unnerving...

It's becoming unnerving, the way those aquamarine eyes bore into you while he contemplates. He stares inscrutably. Yet, here, so close, the nearness makes him seem more like a real man and less like an archetype, or a god, or a prince. Simply a man.

His thin lips are chapped with a pale pink blossom; evidence of a nervous habit of biting his lip. There are faint lines of worry around his eyes and mouth, not at all unattractive, just telling.

You fight the sympathy away, forcing yourself to remember that this is an ancient troubled deity holding you in his arms; a dangerously exhausted god, slowly losing his brilliant mind from lack of companionship.

You vacillate between terror of the god and sympathy for the man.

To your own surprise, your sympathy wins. Before you know it, before you can stop yourself, your hand cups his cheek and strokes softly, thumb traversing the severe contour under his cheekbone. His skin is so cold, like a marble statue standing untouched for years.

.First the prince flinches, then leans gingerly into your warmth. The muscle of his jaw relaxes as you graze it. He releases a tensely held breath and his shoulders lower. You suddenly feel as if you're taming a very ancient, dangerous, and reclusive animal. You have a wolf in the palm of your hand.

Loki preoccupies himself with rationalizing. It's alright..she's here for my comfort and enjoyment after all. This is the whole point, I suppose. And it is...so...comfortable.

You swallow hard and your breath turns baited. You resist a buzzing tremble which threatens your limbs. How long can this truce last before his jaws snap shut around you?

“You're so tired, too, aren't you. It's alright to rest,” you finally say, meeting his eyes.

It's sincere...so sincere that Loki feels his heart burst like a supernova for you, and he scrambles to hide it. He clears his throat and sits up straighter.

“Ah...yes...tired. It's been a long day for us both, hasn't it?”

You nod in relief. He smiles and his laugh lines reveal themselves with some genuine warmth..finally.

He stands and takes your hand, enveloping it with his own. He leads you to his bed, but not at all in the way you assumed he would when you knocked on that door so many hours ago.

-----

In the dark plush chamber of his bedroom, a fragrant fire burns. The golden glow, the heat, and the sweet, earthy incense of burning cedar and sandalwood lull you further towards slumber.

He glides up to you and whisks your hair from your shoulder with a graze of his knuckles. As his fingertips touch down, a fizzle of green luminescence ripples over your body. His almost-comically large robe transforms into a cozy nightgown.

His eyes flick between you and the floor as he bites his lip and taps his fingers where they still rest on you shoulder.

“I hope this is satisfactory?”

“Yes...thank you, Sire.”

He winces, still looking away.

“Please, stop doing that. Use my name.”

“Thank you, Loki.”

Finally his eyes meet yours and he smiles bashfully as he says, “Make yourself comfortable.”

You settle into a nest of the plushest bedding you've ever felt in your life; satins, silks, and warm furs in a symphony textures, serenading you in the most perfect tactile lullaby.

He smirks, watching your lashes flutter shut and your breathing slow almost immediately.

What a precious little creature.

He hovers his hand above your head, about to stroke your hair, kiss your forehead, and wish you sweet dreams...but he stops. He yanks his hand back and rolls his eyes.

He ruminates and shakes his head as he withdraws to removes his leathers, piece by piece.

What am I doing with her? And why do I care? This isn't what I planned.

His coat drops, shed like snakeskin. The long lean muscles of his torso and arms undulate as he peels the rest over his head. It feels pleasant when a draft cools his bare skin after hours in thick formal clothing...pleasant, but vulnerable.

Even though you're already fast asleep, he feels oddly exposed by dressing for bed with you in the room. What would you think of the cold hard edges of his body? The iron rigidity of his spine? The battle scars etched in faint pink across the alabaster skin of his broad shoulders and rib cage? There's a reason why he dresses the way he does, surrounded by bronzed, golden-haired warriors with bared arms like tree trunks...

Warriors like my brother, he thinks bitterly.

The thought makes him hurry to cover himself again, this time in lusciously soft nightclothes. He turns to watch you again and the bitter taste in his mouth turns sweet as honey.

The fluid amber light suits you, sweet and soft, reclined in his bed.

He can't stop thinking about you.

How your fragrant hair felt, flowing between his fingers.

How your voice danced over the words while you read. How he ached to taste those delicious words directly from your mouth, your lips, you tongue.

How your trembling body fell gradually under the spell of his touch.

The taste of you, gods, the taste of your hot pulse beneath his lips and tongue and teeth, and now you've left him ravenous and incinerating.

Violent, animal need finds him easily again, and he groans softly as he storms into the other room. As soon as the heavy oak door closes, he touches himself in the darkness, imagining your hands gently teasing the head of his cock instead of his own.

Yes...gentle...you would of course be so gentle. Your fingers would slide up, then circle around his shaft, tracing the calligraphy of raised veins before you move, rubbing from base to tip rhythmically, spreading the liquid already seeping as you move faster and faster.

He stifles a pathetic moan with his free hand over his mouth. His Adam's apple bobs with a strained swallow as he comes back down into his body, panting. Loki is flooded with relief, followed immediately by a strange unfamiliar shame.

Pathetic, he thinks, The god of mischief, prince of Asgard, who has ordered others to kneel for centuries...brought to his knees in the dark by just the thought of this woman.

All the while, you, the sweet little librarian, sleep deeply and dream richly.

@lokischambermaid @lokisgoodgirl @peaches1958 @thenerdyoldersister @thedistractedagglomeration @muddyorbs @mischief2sarawr @icytrickster17 @goblingirlsarah @sweetsigyn @unlucky-number-13 @mochie85 @acidcasualties @alexakeyloveloki @loz-3 @jennyggggrrr @ladyofthestayingpower @mischiefmaker615 @loopsisloops @sailorholly @coldnique @smolvenger @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @gigglingtiggerv2 @anukulee @azula-karai-27 @eleniblue @marcotheflychair @litaloni @gruftiela @literatureatthebowofnails @meowmeow-motherfucker

#au loki x reader #au loki #pre-Thor 1 loki #loki fanfic #loki x femme reader #loki x reader #loki smut #dark!loki #The Holy Order of the Sacred Mango

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justanotherrpmeme · 11 months ago

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Lack of Empathy starters

"Why is everyone so upset about that?" "Crying won't bring them back. Move on already." "I don't understand why you're so worked up over a simple mistake. Get over it." "Honestly, I can't be bothered to care about what others feel." "Why are you looking at me like that? It's not my problem if they're hurting." "I heard their sob story, but I just couldn't bring myself to care." "You expect me to sympathize with them? That's a waste of energy." "They're making such a fuss over nothing." "Empathy is a weakness. I don't have time for weakness." "You're upset, but it's not my responsibility to make you feel better." "I don't care how it affects them. I'll do what I want, regardless." "Stop being so sentimental. It's a dog-eat-dog world, and I'm just surviving." "Why bother with their feelings? It won't change anything in the end." "Feelings are a distraction. I focus on what needs to be done." "I don't get why you're making such a big deal out of this. Move along." "Sympathy is for the weak. I'm not wasting my time on that." "I don't care if they're happy or sad. It's irrelevant to me." "Empathy is a luxury I can't afford. I'm here to succeed, not to feel." "Why should I care about their feelings? It's none of my business."

[IGNORE] The sender witnesses the receiver crying but continues with their activities, showing no concern. [DISMISS] The sender hears about the receiver's struggles but brushes it off as unimportant. [MINIMIZE] The sender downplays the significance of a traumatic event, failing to acknowledge its impact. [INVALIDATE] The sender responds to the receiver's emotional expression with dismissive remarks, invalidating their feelings. [NEGLECT] The sender is aware of the receiver's suffering but neglects to offer any support or comfort. [BELITTLE] The sender mocks or belittles the receiver for expressing vulnerability or emotional pain. [EXPLOIT] The sender exploits the emotional vulnerabilities of the receiver for personal gain.

#rp ask #starter meme #rp starter #roleplay meme #ask meme

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shoujoboy-restart · 4 months ago

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Before people start with overly politically correct and pearl clutching cries of democrats calling republicans and trumpist "weird": Empathy without reciprocity is self harm caused by someone else's hand.

We are not calling JD Vance and Trump weird because they use fursuits, have speech impediment, no social cues and like doing character MHA roleplays where they can't keep their hands below their waist and make faces.

Trump, Vance and republican politicians are being called weird because they fucking are.

Someone who does puppy play in a closed environment where fetishism is explicit and regulated gets called a degenerate while WEIRDO Lauren Bobert heckles at Beetlejuice musical while gooning and getting fingered by some sugar daddy and it's doesn't even become a topic for news for more than a day

Someone who talks about how we need to make sure Sex Ed is more complex and direct because children do in fact sexually experiment and it's a billion times better for teens to responsibility have experiences with each other instead of being abused by adults is called groomers while every other fucking republican politician and right wing figure head has bizarre comments about impregnating and marrying teenagers at best and that girls young as 10 should be "allowed" to become mothers at worst and again it gets no real attention.

You are not a racist, you are not misogynist, your are not someone who wants to remove people's rights, you are not someone who sees others a lesser human, you are not someone who wants to indoctrinate children, you are not someone who wants legal slaves, you are not someone who wants a women with pregnancy complications yo give birth to a corpse.

YOU. ARE. NOT. WEIRD. LIKE. CURRENT. REPUBLICANS.

You have nothing in common with those people because you have unpalatable autism, have weird interests and quircks, acts bizarre by yourself and lacks a bit of self awareness to know when being quiet wouldn't bring as many eyes to you. Those people want to bring back asylums and force you in them, they want your parents who never took your conditions and feelings seriously to have forever control of you, they want you to never experiment with your different gender expression and be threatened with imprisonment and slander for it.

They want you to be miserable just like the worst moments of your life in every aspect possible in legal backing and incentive to do so.

TRUMP IS WEIRD.

JD VANCE IS WEIRD.

AND REPUBLICANS ARE FUCKING WEIRD.

And you have nothing in common with them nor any reason to feel empathy and sympathy for those who want to restrict and take othe peoples rights away...right?

#kamala harris #jd vance is weird #trump is weird #republicans are weird

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m4rdb · 1 year ago

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An insight into the characters based on their approach to the “Allie problem”

If good writing means that every scene has the potential to say something about a character at their core, then the girls' attitude towards the "Allie problem" is an interesting example.

Taissa

The one who comes up with the very plan. This establishes her as ambitious and extremely rational, but it’s the type of rationality that without grounded moral principles could degenerate into violence and cruelty at any time. It’s what we see with adult Misty and Walter, who are both so practical-minded that resorting to murder is nothing more than a smart option to choose to them.

Like Jackie says, Taissa has so much fight in her. The way she handles the Allie situation shows that if she has a goal, she’ll do whatever she finds necessary to obtain it.

How does that translate into their time in the wilderness?

Taissa’s the first to make the call that they should leave the plane and find water. She’s the one who sleeps in the attic when everyone else wouldn’t, she’s the only one who tries to tell Jackie she shouldn’t leave. And in season two, she’s the one who says, “We need to find a way to stay alive, and it can’t be her [: Lottie]”.

Then we see them drawing cards. We’re not shown how they get to that very decision exactly, but it’s important that we know that the two things are tied. The hunt that follows, their first conscious hunt (let’s not forget about Travis), wasn’t supposed to happen—it’s rather the consequence of the designed sacrifice refusing to take on the role.

Though there’s an obvious religious aspect to it, drawing cards isn’t just letting fate/the wilderness decide in their place so that they don’t blame themselves. It’s also the girls’ attempt to give the ritual some semblance of logic and structure—on a normal day, they would draw cards to decide who gets which task. They’re using the same mechanism, except that they’re now deciding who should die and get eaten. And it starts with Taissa’s very rational and straightforward remark about needing to survive.

Natalie

She openly and passionately goes against Taissa’s plan. Despite being presented as the outsider who doesn’t really engage with the team and disregards rules by smoking and doing drugs, she’s the one who fights to play fairly. She most likely doesn’t care about Allie personally, but she’s a teammate, and they should treat her as such.

While Tai’s ultimate goal is winning at Nationals, Natalie doesn’t want to win more than she wants to be a team (T: What’s your plan, then? / N: I dunno, play like a fucking team and win? It’s worked so far.).

It’s quite ironic—yet not that surprising—how, despite being opposites, Natalie and Jackie share a similar mindset about this.

The scene establishes Natalie as a sympathetic character with grounded and noble moral principles, no matter the adversities. In the wilderness, she’s the first and possibly the only one who acknowledges Travis’ grief and sees through his unsufferable attitude and understands that, as much as questionable his methods are, he’s trying to make sure Javi gets over their father’s death and wants to live on.

It's also meaningful that Natalie’s not there when Jackie and Shauna fight and Jackie ends up leaving the cabin. The night earlier, Natalie was the one who let her out when Lottie and the others locked her in and went to hunt Travis down. Natalie basically saves the girl who just had sex with Travis being perfectly aware that it would hurt her, and she doesn’t even know. Viewers do know, though, and we’re instinctively led to think of her as even more noble and deserving of empathy.

Jackie’s death certainly comes from an irrational choice, but the deepest reason is the others’ lack of sympathy towards her at the end of the season. It could be delusional, but I can’t see Natalie turning a blind eye on the whole thing, had she been there.

Jackie was their captain when they had a normal life. Natalie becomes their leader thanks to the constant effort she’s put into the group ever since they landed there—and possibly, as the matter with Allie shows, even before that.

Lottie

Lottie’s phrasing for her refusal is telling. She says, “It doesn’t feel right.” It’s not that she thinks it is, or that it seems like it is. She feels like they’re not meant to go through with it. A simple yet fitting choice of words foreshadows Lottie’s spiritual nature and her connection to the wilderness as well as her role of prophet/messiah.

It’s also important that she’s not shown as particularly proactive. She does express her opinion, but she’s not as passionate as Natalie about it, who instead actively tries to convince them what a terrible idea it is and interferes with Taissa’s plan on the field. This shows how Lottie never cared be a leader, but rather follows where her feelings lead her.

Van

We’re not really shown Van’s reaction until they’re in the locker room after the scrimmage. We just learn that she’s impressionable, as she almost throws up at Nat’s mention of Allie’s bone being visible, and that she’s so devoted to Tai that she won’t let Shauna talk shit about her at the party.

Laura Lee

Of course, nobody would even dream of telling Laura Lee about an act of such misconduct. She would never go along with Taissa’s plan, she wouldn’t even fathom doing something like this. She’s more clueless than Jackie, because Jackie at least did notice something was off on the field. Even at the party, Laura Lee is the only one who still has no idea there were such tensions.

Her blissful ignorance keeps her kind and pure, apart from the ruthless tendencies of the team. It doesn’t change once they’re in the wilderness—Laura Lee dies trying to help her friends, and she fortunately never gets to witness their worst moments.

Shauna

Unsurprisingly, Shauna’s a tough one. Her attitude towards the Allie situation is as ambivalent as it will be for the rest of the story towards everything else.

Shauna keeps her thoughts for herself until Nat and Lottie leave and it’s just her and Tai, and even then, the first thing she says is, “Jackie’s not gonna like it.” The moment she’s asked to make a personal decision, she talks about what Jackie would think, and it’s not because she herself doesn’t know what to think, it’s just what she chooses to say outright. If anything, Shauna isn’t against Taissa’s plan entirely, and bringing up Jackie rather sounds like an excuse so that she doesn’t dwell on her own dark thoughts.

When Taissa says, “Then we probably shouldn’t tell her,” we expect that to upset Shauna—she wouldn’t keep things from Jackie, right? They’re best friends. While it does upset her, it still doesn’t stop her. We understand why later in the episode, when we discover that she’s no stranger to keeping secrets from Jackie, between her affair with Jeff and the admission letter to Brown (it also recontextualizes their first scene together in Shauna’s car, where Jackie addressed literally both).

On the field, when Taissa plays aggressive and forces Allie to play under pressure, Shauna tells her, “It’s not helping,” and once Allie’s on the ground, she’s one of the girls who runs to her first and tries to comfort her. Even though she didn’t openly disagree with Taissa’s plan, she didn’t want or expect things to escalate the way they did. She’ll make the same mistake when Jackie leaves the cabin, Taissa tells her to go talk to her, and Shauna just goes to sleep, underestimating the consequences of it.

Her ambivalence—if not hypocrisy—is shown later that night at the party, when she tries to pick a fight with Taissa while drunk. I think some part of her felt guilty to an extent, so she tries to fight with Tai out of remorse and because she wants to make her look like the only culprit, since she hates that she was so close to being complicit in it. Who calls her out when she defends Nat from Taissa’s slut-shaming at the party? Natalie herself slams in Shauna’s face that she is complicit.

If Shauna had told Jackie, she would’ve put a stop to it for sure. In the 2019 script for the pilot, Jackie says, “You should have told me about Taissa and Allie.” Shauna’s choice to keep the secret directly anticipates their falling out towards the end of the season. Shauna’s continuous lying drives Jackie mad until she explodes and they have that fatal fight.

Shauna’s the one who tries to act as a person who has it together but really doesn’t. She has the potential to be a good person, friend and mother, but she ends up flunking everything and she barely understands why.

Finally, she tells Tai that she’s “a fucking sociopath”, which, considering everything that happens later in the series, is sort of rich.

Jackie

Like Laura Lee, Jackie has no clue the whole “freeze Allie out” strategy is even happening. Shauna didn’t tell her, she was left out, and she doesn’t find out until Allie’s already hurt and there’s nothing she can do about it.

She watches the others as they rush to help and comfort her and handle the situation, but she doesn’t partake in it because she’s too shocked to move. After the scrimmage, she tries very hard to do as Coach Martinez told her—as captain, she’s meant to glue them together (“When it gets tough out there, these girls are going to be looking for someone to guide them. Can you handle that?”). It’s more than that, though—the way Coach put it, if Jackie can’t do that, then she isn’t really anything special. She’s not as fast as Shauna and her footwork isn’t as good as Lottie’s, and there’s something else that Taissa’s better at, too, though Jackie stops Coach before he can tell her that bit. But nobody seems to care about what she’s saying, and Natalie storms off.

Jackie’s inability to handle the Allie situation and lift the others’ spirits foreshadows her incompetence as well as her progressive loss of influence in the wilderness—in Lottie’s words, “You don’t matter anymore.”

Allie’s accident marks the beginning of Jackie’s downfall even before the plane crashes.

#yellowjackets #shauna shipman #taissa turner #natalie scatorccio #lottie matthews #jackie taylor #yellowjackets character analysis #allie stevens #jackieshauna #jackienat #taivan #can you tell who my favorite is #and why is it the one i diss the most in this #yes im talking about shauna #my meta

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rockanroller · 1 year ago

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actually with bojack trending it pulled up a clip that reminded me of why i have issues with viv's writing/portrayal of her characters across Hazbin, ADDICT, and Helluva. bojack makes a statement that diane's book about him taught him that "as screwed up" as he is "that's ok" and of course he and diane's convo goes on about how that isn't the case but if "that's all he got out of their friendship" then it isn't a good relationship for either of them. but that first part is what reminded me of a shared criticism i have with many folks of viv's character portrayals across the board, here's my take on it... "they're screwed up and that's ok" feels like the through-line narrative that permeates all of viv's content. and that message in itself is a good one, that no one is perfect and we all make mistakes, that we need to practice empathy as viv has said before. but where bojack follows-through is it never forgives him. you may feel pity or sympathy for the harm he keeps bringing on himself, but ultimately he's held responsible for his mistakes in ways that tear his life apart repeatedly, and even though his trauma led to a lot of his problems, it was still his own decisions and actions that caused his downfall. viv's writing (so far) seems to lack that self-awareness. in Helluva we see brief glimmers of awareness, characters suffering consequence, decisions to be better, moments of growth, but they're often glossed over with a gag or over-turned in the next moment like the character is reset back to square one and didn't actually learn anything. the echoes of set-up are there, but there's rarely any follow-through on them. in ADDICT we're just shown "remember this asshole from the pilot? well he's a victim isn't that sad? : (" and that's it. not to mention merch and art romanticizing his abuser which creates more confusion like "wait are we supposed to find his abuser...cool?". across the board we're given very little reasoning as to why or even if we should like or forgive any of the characters in Hazbin or Helluva. fans who already know the characters will do their own projecting of the creator's intent. fans & general (adult) audience members who are seeing these characters for the first time in their animated debuts are left in the dark which is another way the writing fails. it comes off like we're expected to know everything viv/her crew know about the characters and the "hellaverse" by being in the fandom. reading the comic pages, attending streams, watching viv's twitter, being part of the patreon, reading trivia, etc. to piece together the bigger picture that the crew *should* be writing into the show *if* they want to appeal to a general (adult) audience. if they only want to appeal to their own circle/fandom then sure they can do whatever they want, they/their fans just need to accept that if that's the case, outsiders are going to be confused by no fault of their own. fandom could even welcome outsiders in by running them through the correct order of content, instead we get a lot of "how dare you say that bad faith critique you pos gtfo" attitudes.

#vivziepop critical #spindlehorse critical #bojack horseman #hazbin hotel critical #helluva boss critical #thoughts #rambles

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sugarthebee · 2 months ago

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That Thing Is Me

a rant about Atsushi's character

"That thing is me," he says. If that's the case, then that implies he's always had control over Byakko, even if he wasn't aware of it, further exemplified by the fact that Byakko never killed anyone on her rampages and only stole livestock. However, this is also... concerning.

The first scene we see Byakko in full, she immediately tries to kill Dazai. In the second, she tries to kill Ryuu and almost seems to be strategizing- hiding in Junichirou's Light Snow with almost human intelligence, striking from behind and going for the throat. She was aiming to kill.

If Atsushi is Byakko, then what does it say about him as a person that he's so willing to hurt- and even kill- others? Even Atsushi the human has displayed severe lack of concrete morals- seeming inconvenienced by Dazai's suicidal ideations, showing Lucy sympathy, yes, but only in a situation he was in 100% control in- and then immediately threatening her with a fate worse than death should she not agree to his demands, his first response to being faced with a lack of food doing a 180 from 'I'm going to die' to 'I'm going to hurt someone so I don't die.'

Plus, the fact he was so willing to run from the ADA to 'protect' them- and himself by extension, given his assumption the Mafia would be unable to find him- with zero regard for their emotions is cause for further concern. Yes, he cares about people's well-being, but he doesn't seem to understand others' emotions very well.

Possibly even more concerning, he doesn't seem to feel guilt for any of it- after all, those people hurt him first, didn't they? They deserve it, he's only trying to survive in a dog-eat-dog world. All of it was necessary.

I don't think Atsushi is a bad person, absolutely not- he saved Kyouka, he's fighting Amenogozen as we speak, he does his best to keep the people around him safe, he fought off Shibusawa. But I do think he struggles with empathy. Sympathy, he shows in spades. But understanding what others are feeling and genuinely caring is where he struggles.

I feel like a decent chunk of what we see is him either trying not to lose the people that make him feel human, or mimicking the people around him. Byakko is him completely unmasked, Atsushi at his most raw, his most primal, letting himself finally be who he is on the inside and hurt the people that hurt him.

Because in the end, that's what he wants, no?

feel free to comment or reblog with your own thoughts, this is just one silly little guy's opinion of a fictional character, and I'd love to hear yours!!

#rambles #my art #fanart #bsd #atsushi bsd #atsushi nakajima #bungou stray dogs #atsushi bungo stray dogs #bsd spoilers #tw eye contact #byakko bsd #character analysis

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a-d-nox · 1 year ago

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what's a mars return?

did you know that you can check more than just your sun's return? any time a planet transits and becomes exactly conjunct your planet (it is in the exact sign and degree it was when you were born), you undergo a planetary return. mars returns happen roughly every 2 years (unless there is a retrograde too). my mars return is coming up this august and i couldn't be more thrilled to shed the lessons of my 2021 mars return chart and step onto a new battleground.

but what can a mars return chart show you?

what are you passion at / what you desire to do. your confidence and lack thereof. sex. what makes you angry / frustrated / aggressive / competitive. your impulsive behavior. where you are dominant / a leader. the challenge(s) you face.

sun

ego, leadership, self-confidence, sex life, focus, creative passions, authority, dominance, individuality, leadership development, dignity, awareness of other's intentions, and self-expression desires/passion.

moon

frustration, passion, desire, lust, anger, survival instincts, care for your unit/squad, where you feel most powerful, your blood family, passionate/lustful instincts, fertility, adaptability, relationship with your mother, menstruation, and habits.

mercury

communication about what you want, verbal inspiration of others, debates, arguments, how you antagonize others, the determination of your mind, physical health, perception, short trips, ground transportation, diplomatic mannerisms, aggressive mannerisms, and profanity.

venus

who you lust over, who you're attracted to, your reception of others' love, empathy/sympathy for others, pleasure, self-love/pleasure, compromise, values and moral drive, and possessions.

mars

passion, desire, confidence, ambition, lust, sexual desire, anger/combativeness, aggressiveness/competitiveness, athletics, temper, impulse, dominance over other, activity / physical energy, and violence.

jupiter

luck at pursuing your passions/desires, wins/successes, opportunity to move into leadership roles / win, who is willing to follow you, expansion of you empire, knowledge of the things you desire / are passionate about, wisdom gained from previous experiences, air travel, how you seek justice, exploration of foreign land, and spoils/profit/gains from what you win/achieve.

saturn

hard work, challenges/struggles, what the absence of your father/fatherly figure is like (mars has no father - read that myth here), lack of confidence, delays in you passions/desires, physical limitations, physical discipline, responsibility for others, physical effort, self-control, physical stability, endurance, emotional detachment (battle compartmentalization), and grudges.

uranus

allis, fluctuation in attitude/confidence, online arguments, physical uniqueness, rebellion, unplanned/sudden occurrences (surprise attacks), independence, freedom from others, p0rn0graphy, shock (usually of the traumatic variety), (battlefield) chaos, disasters scenarios, and fans/followers.

neptune

creative plans/strategies, camouflage and how you blend in, over-sensitivity, selflessness/egoism, retreating, intuition, deception/lies/manipulation, passionate inspiration, and fascination.

pluto

physical transformation, power, sex, 0rgasms, destruction of others, death, intensity, physical magnetism, physical regeneration, infatuation with other, obsession with others, seduction, manipulation of other, how you plans evolve and change, and the liabilities you remove from your life.

1h/asc

how you approach life, physical body, confidence, the initiative you take, your ambition, your behavior, physical alterations, individuality, and passion.

impulse spending habits, passion projects / side hustles, your work ethic, material possessions (spoils), stability, giving/receiving, and resources.

communication, your strategic mind, your perceptions, interests, ground transportation, social media (the arguments you get in and your followings), and short journeys.

4h/ic

homes/houses (raiding homes that aren't yours or location of your own home), family/family roots, and the foundation of your plans foundations.

children, talent for arguing or your passions, creative plans, risk-taking activities, hookups, pleasures/desires, and strategy games you play

physical health, fitness routine, your duties towards others, your hygiene, and analytics/strategy.

7h/dsc

long term relationships, physical attraction towards others, partnerships, allis, known enemies, and negotiations.

major physical transformation, sex, death, changes of heart, your partners resources/assets, seduction, secrets, spiritual transformation, surgery/operations, and trauma (ptsd).

(battle) wisdom, morality/ethics, foreign environments / long journeys, travel, and learning about leadership / your passion.

10h/mc

your legacy, your reputation, long-term goals/plans, mission, responsibilities towards others, authority, expertise, and leadership.

11h

allis, gains, desires, awareness of other's intentions towards you, groups you lead, politics, and interaction with others.

12h

mental healing/health, hidden weaknesses, hidden enemies, k!nks, fears, losses, closure from tense situations, repressed memory, past challenges, and mental restrictions that become physical restrictions.

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#astrology #astro community #astro placements #astro chart #asteroid astrology #asteroid #natal chart #persona chart #greek mythology #astrology tumblr #mars #mars return chart #mars return

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dancefloors · 11 months ago

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Hard agree Taylor's interview was weird. There's almost no substance to any of her answers.

for real. I'll try to be brief or at least make this the last one (because I know I am being annoying about this but really I just find her a very fascinating case study), but for a songwriter who is often introspective and eloquent, it all seemed like a very shallow look at her life and career. a hodge-podge of buzzwords and dated pop culture references. I do wonder if that's just the nature of this being a sort of 'PR smooth over' for the unfamiliar audience, setting the record straight on a few accounts, and sort of rewriting the narrative of rep/her last relationship.

but it also was very intriguing how the image she paints of herself, and one she seems to internalise is that of her as a successful 'underdog', a perpetual victim in an uphill battle. I'm sure she's faced adversity in her career, but it's notable to me that the way she frames it ("female rage" at her image destruction, "freedom from patriarchal structures through the flow of economy") is in a way that sort of silently demands an obligation to celebrity and wealth. she points to her "cancellation" as gaslighting from a "social structure" but what structure is that? who is the perpetrator when the dip in your fame can be largely attributed to a PR fumble and public dissent at blatant money-driven strategic friendships (which she personally admitted), relatability marketing, and recognition that they are being sold an image? her song The Man/interviews regarding it detail how structural barriers that bother her the most are the ones preventing her from flaunting her money, chasing fame and fortune openly, being praised for the strategy and calculation behind her capitalist endeavours, from using people and discarding them when done (à la Leo in San Tropez or her partners being "playthings for [her] to use"). is it a structural issue when you leave your record label of your own accord and those very same business strategies and ploys are used against you? are fame and art to be free of criticism? is it victimhood when people point out the parasocial and expositional practises that gave you your fame, which you intentionally intertwined with your image?

I won't brush aside the misogyny that came with it. I believe women have the right to feel safe, supported, their sexual exploits not held against them, their career progression not halted purely because of their gender, that artists have ownership over their work.

but do I think they are owed fortune, that a couple months being reclusive in million dollar mansions and jet-setting around the world equate to 'cancellation', that people becoming aware of hollywood PR ploys is misogyny, that public favour is owed and losing it is the highest punishment (especially when they actively wield their team to push puff pieces to bury their own and their associate's/partners' bigotry), that speculation about a public figure's personal life is the greatest crime, that their own role in their career deserves to be seen simultaneously as that of an innocent subject of magical coincidence AND a mastermind strategist (but never the dagger of "calculated"), that their cries and causes should be heralded and never doubted or viewed with a critical eye even though the activist outfit is only ever put on for themselves, that they should be viewed as a brand when they want to shirk responsibility and an individual when they demand sympathy, that fame is owed, that any common person should think about all of this - consider their 'full story' and believe the image they want to sell of themselves? that we should be actively celebrating their excessiveness (it's for our own good!)?

no. maybe because i lack empathy for the rich and famous, but it all seems very out of touch. it's never been more blatantly about consumer feminism, bread and circuses, a prayer to her own idolatry, even further out of reach at the moment.

her fixation on the past, her own endlessly self-referential world, speaking about "defeating enemies"..... its just fascinating. and confirms to me that her main gripe has always been with the contradictory nature of her own fame. why can't she have it all? i don't say this in a bitter way, i think she's just an interesting case study, especially watching her career come up from the beginning. you only enjoy the circus when they are cheering for you. and she seems to have leaned into that more recently. i don't know what has gone on in her personal life (seemingly many references to a "life she gave away"), but it seems to have driven her closer to that, aware that at least in THIS world (that of fame, fortune, etc) she is somewhat an insurmountable titan not even stoppable by "a force majeure", whatever she may claim. maybe she can't control her personal life, but she can control this to a degree, and if not, the things that stand in her way can be / must be regarded the most unjust of nondescript "social structures".

again.. no hatred, just fascination. her image, success, and fan relationships hinged on relatability for so many years. this feels like a departure from that. an acceptance that she is extraordinary and that even her struggles are out of reach for the common man. she's operating in a different echelon, she's the centre of her world (why wouldn't she be), and she is free from the shackles of self reflection on her place in the broader world... I guess she's too soft for it all. I don't know... an interesting change. I'm sure someone smarter than me has something more interesting and eloquent to say.

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lakesbian · 10 months ago

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i remember gregor & his interlude being discussed on here semi-recently as an oddity in terms of how, unlike more or less Literally Every Other Fat Character In Any Wildbow Novel Ever, gregor is portrayed as likable and sympathetic + it's even explicitly mentioned as shitty that it's acceptable for people to mock him for being fat. so i'm interested in looking at what's going on there now that i'm actually rereading it

Gregor walked down the side streets of downtown Brockton Bay with the hood of his sweatshirt casting his face in shadow. Anyone who happened to cross his path and look beneath his hood were quick to glance away. Embarrassed, spooked. Those that saw him from a distance knew him as monstrous as well, but in a different way. To them, he was simply one of the morbidly obese. A man in his late twenties or early thirties, nearly three times the weight he should be for his five feet and ten inches of height. His weight, he knew, was one of the rare things in this modern world that someone could use to mock him openly.

there's a lot of implications to unpack wrt "one of the morbidly obese" and the specific detailing of his young age vs not being the weight he "should be." like, i think the obvious connections between piggot being fat & being unhealthy show that worm is coming from a deeply fatphobic lens wherein fat people are seen as 1. inherently unhealthy and 2. disgusting and/or morally degraded for that perceived unhealthiness. actually, even moreso than piggot, it's the constant usage of the (widely scientifically inaccurate) medical term "morbidly obese," obvious emphasis being placed on the perceived unhealth of fatness via the word "morbidly." the, like, really precise focus on exactly How many times over the weight he "should" be also demonstrates such fatphobic, pseudoscientific medicalization of weight. (not that someone would deserve oppression based on perceived lack of health even if they really were unhealthy and even if it really was 100% their fault, but that should go without saying.) it's being implied that it's bad people are a cunt to him about this, but it's also still being implied that the thing they're being a cunt to him about is something actually Wrong with him. so. not great.

i also can't help but wonder how much of the description about how he's treated (i.e. as so monstrous no one can even look at him and he can't go outside or do anything in public ever) is projection of authorial beliefs. like, true, fat people are constantly dehumanized and treated as grotesque and monstrous to life-ruining extents--but this paragraph coming from an author who consistently describes fat characters with palpable disdain and disgust is like. yeah, i'm sure he would compare being fat to having translucent snail-encrusted skin you can see organs and bones through. hard to believe the description here is coming purely from empathy without aaany elements of how the author views fat people he sees in public in it.

but the most absurd line here is of course the last sentence: "His weight, he knew, was one of the rare things in this modern world that someone could use to mock him openly."

this is very funny because:

brockton bay has a nazi problem. characters in worm make fun of each other for acting [r slur]ed or being gay or not being white or being an addict or looking ugly all the time. what do you mean, being fat is one of the rare things that can be used to mock someone openly. there's a conversation to be had about fat people as accepted targets of mockery even in ostensibly anti-bigotry spaces in the year of 2024, but when this was written in 2011? in worm? it's a genuinely bizarre statement

wildbow is literally always interrupting character narration to viciously mock fat people. literally all of the time. forever. Where is the self awareness.

overall i guess it's nice that there's an attempt to establish narrative sympathy with the fat character, but it's being done with Literally No Self Awareness as to how the work itself treats fat people, to the point where it probably would've been better to not bother including the description of how it marginalizes gregor at all--wildbow doesn't try to do this for any other character's marginalized status, so i'm not sure why he felt the need to attempt it with gregor. like, at this rate, you'd be better off just neutrally mentioning that he's fat when describing his appearance and leaving it at that

#wormtime 2 #wormtime 2 arc 5 #anyway onto the rest of the interlude

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viiisenyas · 7 months ago

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I really liked your analysis on Rhaenyra and Laenor's dynamic for ep 6. Do you think that you could do one for ep 7? c:

Oh boy, you are trying to give me an aneurysm lol. Listen, I have a lot to say about this. So get some tea and have a seat, anon.

Let's start with the funeral.

Rhaenyra was looking for Laenor when she pulled Jacaerys aside, that much is certain, and I am painfully aware that they were both mourning their losses, as Jacaerys so tactfully put it /s

In response to Baela and Rhaena losing their mother:

[Jacaerys:] I have an equal claim to sympathy. We should be at Harrenhal, mourning Lord Lyonel and Ser Harwin.

Little fucking bastard.

If Rhaenyra and Laena were truly as close as some show watchers believe, do we truly think that Jacaerys would be so comfortable saying that openly? I think not.

Not to mention, that whole conversation between Rhaenyra and Jacaerys earns some iconic questionable looks from Alicent and Criston.

Moving on before I get off topic.

A few minutes later in the episode, you can actually hear Seasmoke crying out, which kind of alerts Daemon and Aemond that something is amiss, then the camera cuts to this.

A very distraught Laenor standing in the water (likely where his sister was buried) which brings up the question: If Rhaenyra was intent on keeping up appearances, why did she spend the last few minutes openly eye-fucking Daemon? Why didn't she continue her search for her husband who was prone to drinking? If they had such a close friendship as some of the fandom believes, her first thought would have been to ensure that he was all right. But... she didn't.

And it doesn't help the situation that Corlys has an outburst towards Ser Qarl to retrieve Laenor, but even when that does draw in attention, Rhaenyra doesn't even bother asking what happened. Instead, she continues eye-fucking Daemon while he's talking to Viserys.

And after Daemon leaves the balcony, she walks straight towards her children to send them to bed, and proceeds to follow Daemon. She didn't even bother waiting for Laenor to come back up and ask if he was okay or even offer him an ounce of comfort, which earns this look from Otto.

She... is a horrible and selfish friend.

Moving on, let's break down the conversation she had with Daemon about Laenor.

It begins with this:

[Rhaenyra]: Laenor has been restless for years, but now, he will be useless. Or worse. I know better than anyone that our marriage is a farce. But I at least make the effort to maintain appearances.

Did she? Clearly not, if Otto, Criston, and Alicent were all giving her the bombastic side eye. And that's not even mentioning the visible bastards she brought to Laena's funeral. Her lack of empathy towards Laenor was blatant during that entire funeral, and believe me, everyone fucking noticed.

[Rhaenyra:] We did try to conceive a child. We performed our duty as best we could. But to no avail.

Again, clearly not. Especially if we take into account the canonical age of Jacaerys and compare it to the date they wed. (Yes I am referencing book canon, but it still drives my point)

Rhaenyra and Laenor wed in 114 AC, and Jacaerys was born the same year.

I could understand if the boy was born like two, maybe three years after the wedding, but nope. In my opinion, I would have assumed that "performing your duty" would have meant being monogamous for at least a year to get it over with, but I digress. What's done is done.

And here is where we get to the root of the issue, and where she tells on herself a little bit.

[Rhaenyra:] There was no joy in it. I found that elsewhere. It felt good to be desired.

Well of course there wouldn't be any joy in it, he's a gay man, and you knew this when you agreed to marry him (mind you, when she had the full pick of the litter - a privilege that nobody else was granted.) However, there were several fucking ways that they could have attempted to conceive a child - hell, even Margaery had solutions to the situation with Renly. But clearly Rhaenyra wasn't as intelligent as she thought she was.

Now, glossing over the blatant disrespect towards her grieving husband and his dead sister by sleeping with Laena's widower, let's get to the aftermath of the shitshow between her and Alicent.

After she sends the children out to have a private word with Laenor the conversation goes like this:

[Laenor:] I should have been there. [Rhaenyra, begrudgingly:] Those should be our house words.

If you pay attention to Laenor's face after she says that, he looks like he doesn't want to deal with this, yet he stays, and proceeds to provide an explanation.

[Laenor:] I have fought dreadful enemies, but I could not defend my dear sister, far from home and in agony. I could not defend you... [Rhaenyra:] Sit down.

To me, this feels like he's attempting to gauge a semblance of understanding from Rhaenyra as to why he wasn't present during the climax of this episode. And believe it or not, it is VALID. As I have said in the previous analysis of episode 6, those children were NOT his obligation, and he was grieving his own flesh and blood.

However, Rhaenyra continued to act indifferent and dismissive to his loss, and proceeded to bring up her bastards as if that was the bigger problem. Not once did she ask how he was feeling this entire episode, which again, made me believe that they were never truly friends. (I'd wager IF they were, that friendship quickly crumbled after Joffrey Lonmouth was murdered, and I think it's safe to assume that Rhaenyra has behaved similarly to how she is behaving now.)

[Laenor:] I have failed you, Rhaenyra. Our marriage... I tried. Our boys... I do love them. Deeply. But I have not, mayhaps... loved them enough.

Now as Laenor is speaking, you can see the apathy she has so plainly displayed on her face while he is quite literally pleading with her yet again, so much that he has resorted to self-deprecating language in spite of the fact that he stayed by her side for ten straight years, playing his part as a loving husband and father, possibly being berated by other lords and ladies at court. He is not afforded the same protections that Rhaenyra has, and mind you, he was alone.

Laenor's entire family had been away from King's Landing, so he had to navigate this by himself, all while getting comments against his ability to sire children, and against his sexuality as so wonderfully displayed by Alicent. /s

[Alicent, Episode 6:] Do keep trying, Ser Laenor. Soon or late you'll have one that looks like you. [Alicent, Episode 7:] Where is Ser Laenor, I wonder? The boys' father? Perhaps he will have something to say in the matter... Entertaining his squires, I'll wager.

I fully believe if the Queen was comfortable saying this so openly, everyone else was more than comfortable with saying things like this to his face, too.

Now, back to the point, Rhaenyra continues the conversation with this:

[Rhaenyra:] I had hoped to bear your children. The few times we lay together. Things might've been different. [Laenor:] I hate the gods for making me as they did. [Rhaenyra:] I do not.

Hm. Are you sure about that, Rhaenyra? Because your dialogue with him in the previous episode had quite a few microaggressions against his homosexuality. But I digress.

[Rhaenyra:] You are an honourable man with a good heart. It's a rare thing.

Yet, she called him useless behind his back about twenty minutes ago, which tells me that she's being disingenuous, and Laenor seemed to catch it, too because he makes this face right after she says it.

[Laenor:] We made an arrangement all those years ago to do our duty, and yet explore happiness. [Rhaenyra:] *chuckles* [Laenor:] But there are times I think when these things cannot mutually exist.

Now I found that a bit interesting. She starts laughing at the little contract they drew up ten years ago. Now sure, this can be taken as a bit of levity, or it can be taken as her actually laughing at him in a condescending way. Pick your poison. However, given everything I've presented above, my opinion leans towards the latter.

Sure we can argue that he did smile with her, but is that a genuine smile, or is that a "I hope she's taking me seriously," smile? I'll let you decide.

Now to address his next statement, he was absolutely correct, and I'll wager that he probably had been thinking about this for a very long time. Maybe I'm reading into it, but his expression grows serious after he says it.

[Laenor:] Ser Qarl will return soon to the fighting in the Stepstones. But I recommit myself to you. And to strengthening our house as we prepare you for your ascension. I will raise our sons to be princes of the realm. You deserve better than what I have been. You deserve a husband. (emphasis mine)

And this is the final frame we have of Laenor before his death is staged. His entire expression is pleading.

This right here was a final cry for recognition in his longstanding efforts. His last words to her really drove the point home that he does want to try, despite the fact that he has been all along. Perhaps it's just me, but Laenor seems like he is actually on his last leg if he is going so far as to put himself down in an attempt to receive some semblance of acknowledgement from Rhaenyra in hopes that she wouldn't cast him aside like she has done these last few years.

#laenor velaryon #rhaenyra targaryen #rhaenyra critical #long post #anonymous #answered #laenor velaryon defence squad #hbo house of the dragon

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