#and they got transferred to icu

[bisexualalienss]

shift from hell the day i come back from the holidays 😀

[andhumanslovedstories]

The healthcare strike in Portland, Oregon is in its third week with no clear end in sight. Front-line caregivers with the Providence Healthcare System negotiating union contracts at multiple hospitals that would improve employee working conditions and protect legally-mandated nurse:patient ratios so nurses don't get assigned an unmanageable and unsafe number of patients per shift. There's been some progress with negotiations, and the governor of the state is putting pressure on both sides to end the strike soon, but Providence continues to hold out on key issues.

As a float pool nurse, every shift I go to whatever floor is understaffed. In nearly every unit I've been to, there have been patients who still be in the ICU, getting one to one care. But because we don't have enough critical care staff, we transfer them to lower levels of care so that even sicker patients can get beds. This is not safe for patients or staff. And it's not just medical safety. It takes time to talk out a problem instead of calling security, or to help someone with severe mobility issues go to the bathroom, or to sit with someone crying. The kind of care that makes you feel like a person, not just a patient, takes time. The more patients I have per shift, the less time I have for each of them.

A strike is our strongest negotiating tactic. And as long as we're on strike, we're not getting paid. The longer you don't get paid, the harder it is to not cross the picket line. We're already out two paychecks so far. A lot of people cannot afford to lose that much income. As the primary income earner for our household: GOD I would love to make money again. That is what Providence is banking on. They're losing a TON of money during this strike, but they've got deeper pockets than their workers. They are betting that they can survive the strike longer than the union can.

You can support the strike by donating to the Oregon Nurses Association's hardship fund which provides money to caregivers so they don't have to scab. (I'll put a link in a reblog I'll make right after posting this.) There's also a public petition you can sign that I'll also link. And if you're in the Portland area, we've got picket lines at like nine different places at any given point. Even just awareness is helpful. Providence wants people to be angry at the striking healthcare workers, not them.

[gardenstateofmind]

patient unexpectedly died :( he'd been with us for two weeks, was a really nice guy :(

[eevylynn]

If life could just take a break and chill for a second, that'd be great.

[theculturedmarxist]

In 2020, Robert Kuciemba, a woodworker in San Francisco was infected with covid by a co-worker after his Nevada-based Victory Woodworks transferred a number of sick workers to the San Francisco site for a few months. 

Through the proceedings of the case it turns out that the employer knew some employees might be sick but they transferred them anyway and ignored a San Francisco ordinance in place at the time to quarantine suspected covid cases.

Kuciemba was subsequently infected and he then infected his wife, who ended up in ICU on a ventilator.

The California Supreme Court just ruled against Kuciemba on the basis that a victory, while, in the court's words, "morally" the right thing to do, would create "dire financial consequences for employers" and cause a "dramatic expansion of liability" to stop the spread of covid.

There’s a few stunning details to note in this case. First, the court agreed that there is no doubt the company had ignored the San Francisco health ordinance. In other words, they accepted the company had broken the law. And then concluded “yeah, but, capitalism.”

Secondly, the case was so obviously important to the struggle between capitalism and mass infection that the US Chamber of Commerce, the largest business lobbying organisation got involved and helped the company with its defence. Remember, this is a tiny company in a niche industry. The involvement of the biggest business lobbyists in the country tells us a lot about the importance of the principle they knew was at stake.

Thirdly, the defence of the company is very telling. They said “There is simply no limit to how wide the net will be cast: the wife who claims her husband caught COVID-19 from the supermarket checker, the husband who claims his wife caught it while visiting an elder care home." 

Well, exactly. Capitalism couldn’t survive if employers were liable for covid infections contracted in the workplace, and the ripple effect of those infections. And they know it. 

This case is something of a covid smoking gun, revealing what we always suspected but had never seen confirmed in so many words: the public health imperative of controlling a pandemic virus by making employers liable for some of that control is, and always must be, secondary to capitalist profit. 

This ruling is also saying out loud what has been obvious to anyone paying attention for the last two years: employers don’t have a responsibility to keep your family safe from covid. You have that responsibility. And if you give a family member covid that you caught at work and they get sick or die – even if it was a result of law-breaking by your employer – that’s on you buddy.

It is the same old capitalist story: the shunting of responsibility for ills that should be shared across society, including employers in that society, onto individuals.

This ruling essentially helps codify workplace mass infection and justifies it as necessary for the smooth functioning of capitalism.

This is not new. This is where the ‘just a cold’ and the ‘mild' narrative came from. It came from doctors and healthcare experts whose first loyalty was to capitalism. Not to public health. To money, not to lives. Abetted by media who uncritically platformed them.

While this ruling tells us little that we couldn’t already see from the public policy approach of the last two years, it is revealing (and to some extent validating) to see it confirmed by the highest law of the land in the United States. 

[valyvinny]

╰┈➤ ❝ Caleb┆彡 My fault ❞

PAIRING : Caleb x reader (afab) GENRE : Angstyyyy WORD COUNT : 1083 TAGS : mentions of murder, attempted murder, mentions of blood, little to no comfort, mentions of surgery, reader gets hurt A/N : Hellloooo. I can't believe I chose to write ANGST for my very first written piece here. But after going through Caleb's cards, I felt like it was necessary. I'm probably gonna follow this up with something lighter. So enjoyyyy :)

Viper strikes and injures you, Caleb is furious.

Red. So much red. His otherwise crisp and pristine uniform now disheveled and drenched crimson with your blood. 

Patients, doctors and nurses alike sneak glances at him whispering to each other, too afraid to look him in the eye. What could possibly bring the usually calm and composed colonel to the hospital in such panic and disarray? 

Caleb lets out a shaky breath. He tries to will his hands to stop trembling, tries to calm his racing heart. But all he sees is flashes of you. Your precious face, pale as a ghost, the giant gash in your abdomen from where Viper’s blade sliced through you, your teary eyes. He clenches his jaw. He promised. He promised. 

He was supposed to be there. It’s his fault. He promised to stay by your side at all times. It’s his fault. He wasn’t there. It’s one thing if you were hurt in Linkon. But it’s an entirely different thing that you got hurt right under his nose, in Skyhaven, his territory. How could he have been so careless? 

Caleb paces up and down the hospital corridor, silently praying that you were okay. That you were alive. You’d been in surgery for hours now and with each minute stretching agonizingly by, the less optimistic he became. What if….no, he couldn’t bring himself to imagine the worst. He couldn’t fathom a world without you. It was simply incomprehensible. The grief would tear him inside out until nothing but a hollow shell of his person would remain. 

You were his entire universe. You were his every waking thought, every breath, the only reprieve in his entire wretched existence. Without you, there was no rhyme nor reason. 

“Sir” a voice calls out to him

Liam stands opposite the Colonel, saluting him. 

“Sir we’ve located Viper, he’s eastbound to-“

Liam gets cut off by the doors of the operation theater opening. From it, the lead surgeon emerges, clad in a pair of blue scrubs. Caleb motions for Liam to stop. 

“Later”, he says as he rushes to receive news about you. 

“How is she?” He asks. 

Part of him just doesn’t want to hear it, but he needs to know. He needs to know if you’ve made it. 

“The surgery was challenging. She lost a lot of blood. The cut was quite extensive and we had to perform a-“ 

“Just cut to the chase” Caleb quipped through gritted teeth, his patience wearing thin. 

“She’s stable for now. We’re going to be keeping her under observation for the next couple of days to sure the wound heals well and doesn’t contract any infection. We’ve transferred her to the ICU. But I have to warn you Colonel, it might take a while for her to recover.” 

Caleb heaves a sigh of relief. He feels his nose prickle and eyes sting. A lump forms in his throat. He wants to cry. He wants to so badly just drop to his knees and sob his heart out. But he can’t, not with so many eyes on him. 

Nothing matters but the fact that you’re alive. If recovery takes a while, so be it. He’ll be with you through every step of the way. He’ll never leave your side. Not again. Not with such dangers lurking in every corner. He won’t fail you again. 

“Can I see her?” He asks. His voice feeble. 

The surgeon looks at him with pity. 

“Yes of course. But you might want to change out of your outfit colonel. I’m sure we have a spare pair of scrubs you can wear” 

Caleb nods curtly at him “Yes I believe that would be appropriate” 

Caleb is in the ICU, now donning a pair of scrubs. He looks comical, the hem of the scrub pants just barely reaching his shins. He’s sure if he moves an inch, the top would ride up his torso. In other circumstances, this unfortunate attire would have reduced you into a fit of giggles. But not now. 

Now you lay in a hospital bed, unconscious. The harsh white lights of the ICU casts a pearlescent glow, making you look almost angelic. 

Caleb leans down next to your bed. His heart clenches. You look peaceful in your slumber, a sharp contrast to how you were merely hours ago. The only evidence of the incident being the large bandage dressed across your abdomen in place of the gash. 

He takes a second to brush his fingers against your cheek, cradling your face in his hand gently. Tears well up in his eyes and this time, he let them fall, in the safety of the curtains surrounding your bed.

Fat tears roll down his cheeks as he tries to muffle the sound of his sobs with his hands. He only felt shame. Guilt. What kind of Colonel was he if he couldn’t protect the one thing, the only person that ever mattered? 

As his form wracks with sobs, Caleb feels a hand wrap feebly around his wrist. 

“Caleb…”

You were awake, barely so, your eyes half lidded as you fought the fatigue that threatened to consume your body. 

“Caleb I’m sorry” you whisper

Caleb quickly dries his tears on his sleeve, composing himself. 

“Don’t be pipsqueak. It’s not your fault” he says, kissing your palm. He flashes you a smile. But you know it’s disingenuous, that he's hiding behind a facade. 

“Get some rest. I’ll be right here when you wake up” 

You nod before your eyes close shut and it’s not long before your chest begins to rise and fall rhythmically, pulling you again into deep sleep. 

“Sir” Liam says, approaching the Colonel. 

“I’m sorry to interrupt, but if we don’t intercept Viper soon, we may lose him” 

Caleb grits his teeth. The very mention of that bastards name makes him seethe with rage.

He spends one last minute stroking your hair, planting a kiss on the top of your head, before heading out. 

One thing remained clear to him. Viper is going to suffer the most excruciating death possible. He’s going to crush every single one of his bones individually, make him bleed until he lay in a crimson pool of his blood, torture him until he begs for death as his mercy. That was his promise to you. 

© valyvinny. All right reserved. Do not steal, copy, translate, repost or reupload any of my works. Do not use my work for AI

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

Heart-Stopping

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Surgeon!Female!Reader

Word Count: ~900

Warnings: fluff

Summary: After a ten-hour surgery, all you want to do is go home and be with your husband. When he comes into the ER needing surgery, your entire world is turned upside down.

Square Filled: "Oh, don't worry, this blood isn't mine." (2022) for @spencerreidbingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

x

You trudge out of the OR into the scrub room to clean your hands and arms. The surgery you were just in lasted an atrocious ten hours. You’ve gone for more, but this was so tough since the patient’s heart kept arresting and her blood vessels were so friable that it was hard to do any kind of stitches. Still, you managed to get her fixed and stable enough to be transferred to the ICU.

All you want to do is go home to your husband and cuddle until you fall asleep in his arms. He understands your job and how you can’t always be home with him. He’s in the FBI so he has the same demand even if he’s doing work that’s completely different. The reason your marriage works is that you two make it a point to call each other every day, plan an at-home date every week, a date anywhere that’s not your house every month, and have a small vacation every six months.

He’s your rock and you don’t know what you’d do without him in your life. He’s your biggest supporter and the love of your life.

You’re scrubbing away the sweat and grime from your hands when your pager goes off. You grab a microfiber towel and dry your hands before checking the pager. 911 ER. You toss the towel away and run out of the room hoping you can get to the ER in time. There is a patient who needs your attention and might die if you’re not there. It amazes you that you have so much energy after a surgery like that and maybe it’s because of the silent promise of saving as many people as you can.

You push the double doors open that lead into the ER and look around to see if you can spot the patient that needs you.

“Dr. Y/N! I need you to know that everything is okay…”

You can’t hear anything your resident says because all you’re focused on is your husband lying on a stretcher covered in blood. Your entire world comes crashing to a stop. You’re a very skilled heart doctor but it feels like your own heart is going to stop at the thought of your life without Spencer in it. His coworkers, Derek and Emily, are by his side without blood on their clothes.

“Y/N!” Derek grabs your shoulders and snaps you out of the silent panic you’re in. “He’s okay, I promise he’ll be fine.”

“What happened? Spencer!”

You rush over to him, and he grabs your hand gently.

“Oh, don’t worry, this blood isn’t mine,” he mumbles.

“What happened?” you ask Derek and Emily.

“There was an accident. He tried to save our victim and got caught in the crossfire. She’s right behind him.”

“Y/N, we’ll take care of him.”

You turn to see your chief of surgery and your best friend who has a determined yet empathetic look on his face. You can’t take care of your husband because he’s your husband so the only person you trust to take care of him is the chief.

“Okay,” you whisper. “Don’t let him die, please.”

“We go it. Go to Trauma One!”

Spencer is wheeled to the first trauma room just as the victim comes in right behind him. She, you can help. Spencer is wheeled into surgery to fix an injury on his leg while the general surgeon and neurosurgeon take the victim to surgery. If there is anything to be done on her heart, they’ll call you in. You’re stuck thinking about Spencer instead of being in surgery to take your mind off it. You leave Trauma Two and walk over to Emily and Derek who are talking to each other.

“What happened to him?”

“There was a car accident, the car the victim was in. They skidded on a patch of ice and the car slammed into a tree, ejecting the victim out of the windshield. Spencer was the first to her which is how he got all of her blood on him. Another car came around the corner and didn’t see the crashed vehicle, and they collided with it, sending shrapnel into Spencer’s leg. He lost a lot of blood on the way over here.”

“Shit,” you whisper with tears in your eyes.

“He’s going to be okay. You have a talented team of doctors here.”

“I know,” you nod.

There is no choice but to wait for Spencer to get out of surgery. When he is, they take him to a private room where you can sit with him. It takes twenty minutes for him to come out of the anesthesia, but he’s still pretty loopy from it.

“Hey, baby, how are you doing?”

You take out your stethoscope and check his heart and lungs, relief clouding your head when you don’t hear anything bad about it.

“Doctor… I need… I need some… some flowers.”

“Flowers? For what?”

“My wife. Her birthday is this weekend, and I want to get her flowers.”

Your heart swells happily at his little confession. He knows how much you love getting flowers. They brighten up even the darkest of places.

“It’s very important, please.” He rolls his head to the side and looks at you through hooded eyes. He doesn’t seem to recognize it’s his wife right in front of him. “I need you… Can you write her a card for me?”

“What do you want it to say?”

“I love her. Her eyes are pretty. She makes me so happy. Just say that.”

“Okay,” you grin with tears in your eyes.

Spencer’s eyes close and you sit next to his bed. You grab his hand and kiss the back of it, content with staying just like this until he wakes up.

x

Want to be tagged? Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[internetdaddy98]

The Ties That Bind Us - Chapter 21

Previous | Next [Series Masterlist]

Content Warning: medical procedures; mutual pining; angst: yelling; swearing;

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The comms went off at 6:50 a.m.

Of course it did.

You were barely three steps into the ER, coffee still burning hot in your hand, when the call came through: MVC, mid-thirties female, unstable vitals, ETA six minutes. The room snapped into motion around you like muscle memory.

You didn’t have time to think. Not about what happened, not about the way Robby had looked at you like you’d fractured something sacred. Not about the fact that this was the first time you were seeing him since it all imploded.

You threw your sweater onto the nearest chair and got to work.

And then he walked in.

Black scrubs. Jaw set. Eyes stormy.

You didn’t speak. Neither did he.

You took opposite sides of the trauma room like it was instinct. You hadn’t worked a code together in three days, but your rhythm was the same—too practiced to falter. His hands moved fast and precise, intubating while you placed a central line. Orders flew. Nurses obeyed. You worked as if the silence wasn’t deafening.

But God, it was.

You could feel every inch of distance between you, and still, your bodies operated like puzzle pieces that knew exactly how to fit. That was the worst part—how easy it was still to do this with him, even when nothing else felt okay.

“She’s crashing,” Dr. Mohan said.

Robby barked for an epi. You reached across the gurney at the same time, your hands brushing.

He flinched like you’d burned him.

And that? That nearly unraveled you.

The patient stabilized, barely. When it was over, the patient was transferred up to the ICU, and the chaos ended. But the damage between you two hadn’t gone anywhere.

You peeled off your gown, then your gloves, tossing them into the biohazard bin with more force than necessary. Robby was already halfway out the door.

And that was it. You snapped. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The air on the rooftop was colder than it had any right to be.

You had only meant to take a moment—five minutes to breathe, to stop shaking. The chaos of the ER hadn’t let up all night, and neither had the pressure building in your chest. You needed open air. Space.

You weren’t expecting Robby to follow you.

But when you heard the metal door creak open behind you, you already knew it was him. You didn’t turn. Just stared out over the city, arms crossed tight, jaw locked.

The door slammed shut.

“Seriously?” His voice, low and sharp.

“You’re just gonna walk away and pretend that didn’t just fucking happen?” he said, voice low and tired but no less sharp.

You turned slowly. “What? Saving a life?”

He let out a bitter laugh. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

“Then say what you mean, Michael.”

You laughed once. Bitter. “You can’t even look at me.”

“I am looking at you.”

“No, you’re looking through me,” you snapped. “Like I’m just the new attending going after your job, right?”

“You lied to me, Y/N.”

You felt the sting before the words even settled in the air.

“I didn’t lie.”

“Oh come on, Y/N.”

His face was flushed, breath misting in the chill, eyes burning. The fury was real, but beneath it… the betrayal glinted like a blade.

“You didn’t think I deserved to know?” he asked. “You knew for how long and just decided to smile through shifts like nothing was happening?”

Her own temper snapped like a live wire. “I was trying to keep things from falling apart. I didn’t want any of this! I didn’t ask for this.”

“But you didn’t say no either.”

“I didn’t have a chance to—”

“No,” he cut in, laughing bitterly, “because Gloria made sure you’d take it before I even had time to realize I was being replaced.”

“You are not being replaced, Robby.”

“Oh, aren’t I?” he said, stepping forward. “Because it feels like I’m standing on the roof of a hospital where I’ve killed myself for years—built this ER to survive—and now they’re telling me my new ‘partner’ is the woman I’ve been training, who couldn’t be bothered to tell me any of this before it blew up in my face.”

“You’re twisting it,” you said, voice shaking. “I didn’t betray you—”

“You didn’t trust me.” His voice was quiet now. Hurt threading through each word. “That’s worse.”

You looked away, blinking fast. “You made it pretty clear you don’t trust people who work here. That you don’t want to get close.”

“I was trying to protect you,” he said, louder now. “Because this place eats you alive, and I didn’t want to be stupid enough to care about someone who might leave the second it got too hard.”

“Then why did you look at me like I mattered?” Your voice cracked. “Why did you talk to me at three in the morning like I was something more than just another colleague? Why the hell did you make me feel like—like there was something between us if you were never going to let it be real? Why did you almost kiss me?”

Robby’s jaw clenched.

“Because there is something between us, and I can’t breathe around it,” he hissed. “I don’t sleep. I barely function half the time when you’re not around. And now I find out you’ve been lying to me?”

“I wasn’t lying,” you snapped. “I was scared. And I thought maybe—maybe if I stayed professional, if I kept my distance—you’d see I wasn’t here to make a mess of your life. But it didn’t matter. Nothing I did was ever going to be good enough for you to choose me.”

The silence that followed was brutal.

Robby took a step back, fists trembling at his sides. “You think I didn’t choose you? I’ve been trying not to fall apart over you for months. And the one time I needed you to choose me, you didn’t.”

“You think I didn’t choose you?” you asked, voice shaking. “I’ve been trying to push my feelings down for months for you Robby. Trying not to want more because you made it clear there was no more to want.”

He didn’t answer.

And that hurt more than anything.

You shook your head, blinking back the sting in your eyes.

“I cared. I still do. But if you’re going to punish me for not reading your mind, I don’t know what else I’m supposed to do.”

He finally looked at you then. Really looked at you. And the ache in his expression nearly took your breath away.

“I didn’t know how to want you and keep my world intact,” he said.

And maybe that was the truest thing either of you had said all day.

“You don’t have to worry about that anymore. You made sure of that.” You said coldly.

He didn’t know who walked away first.

But when the rooftop emptied, the sky felt heavier than before.

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook

𝓣𝓪𝓴𝓮 𝓒𝓪𝓻𝓮. [Closed Doors]

Jungkook makes decisions every day- but none has ever felt as hard to make as the decision whether or not to keep or leave you.

Tags/Warnings: Hospital/Medical AU, Doctor!Jungkook, slightly aged up!Jungkook, Hybrid!Reader, Dog Hybrid!Reader, another slightly heavy one but the comfort is strong with this hurt, angst, fluff, romance, strangers to lovers, blood, medical stuff, mentions of domestic (physical and mental) abuse, corruption, mentions of drug abuse, health scare²

Length: 2.3k Words, it's very tiny I'm very sorry

-> Masterlist

There is no taglist for this fic.

A/N: hi sorry I just really like this fic pls eat your vegetables

♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

"The little guy is recovering good." Namjoon nods. "But we'll have to inform child protective services, no matter if it was an accident or not.." He sighs, as Jungkook nods.

"I'm pretty sure it'll go well if it really was just that." He says. "I can't believe people just leave this stuff around when they know children eat any candy they see the moment they get the chance to." He shakes his head a bit angrily. "If that boy was a hybrid he'd be dead."

"Luckily he's not. I'll send the boy over to pediatrics, and as soon as that happens, he's out of our hands." Namjoon reminds his friend and coworker, as they both silently agree, walking through the hall. "How's your puppy doing?"

"Awake, and she's been transferred out of the ICU this morning, so I'm gonna check on her now and see how she's doing." Jungkook sighs, running a hand through his hair.

"Have you decided if you want to take her in yet?" Namjoon wonders, greeting a fellow doctor who's passing by.

"No." Jungkook shakes his head. "Not.. yet."

It's a touchy subject for now- so Namjoon leaves it alone- letting the doctor enter your new room on his own, to check up on you.

It's quiet inside, no nurse yet present- and Jungkook is actually a little thankful for the short, quiet moment he's got. Standing close to you, he lets his hand run over one of your soft ears- now cleaned and fur soft and vibrant in color. It's something Jimin had informed him about yesterday- how you cried from happiness after he'd helped you properly clean your ears and tail, something that appeared to be very much unfamiliar and new to you.

It angers him, to know that you were nothing but something to show off until now.

So many of your health problems could've been avoided if you just had received any amount of proper care and attention. Yoongi already suspects that you might have developed some behavioral issues from the way you've been living until now- all that, combined with your physical troubles will take weeks if not months to resolve. If they ever resolve fully at all, that is.

Not that Jungkook really cares. He'd take you in even if you were to bite and scratch.

But it's not that easy, and he knows this. "Hello?" He carefully says as his hand shakes your shoulder gently. "Can you wake up for me for a moment?" He requests, and your eyes slowly open, squinting at the bright hospital lights, before you stretch- and hiss at something cramping. "Good morning." He greets you- and suddenly you seem to realize who's there- and your tail begins to wag under the blanket, ears turned towards him as you smile. "How do you feel, hm?" He wonders, but you don't answer.

It's to be expected. All of these traumatic events must've taken a toll on you- not just physically.

"Well you're looking a lot better already, that's for sure." Jungkook tells mostly himself, though he smiles when he spots you taking the praise for yourself as well. It gives him a moment just to quietly look at you; imagine what life could be like if someone like you was to wait for him inside his apartment, every day whenever he'd come home from work.

Surely, you'd turn his apartment into a home in no time. The thought of just a little more chaos inside his living space, a little more of a mess here and there, a bit of disorder in his life, might just be what could color his life a little more vibrantly. Make things more exciting, more emotionally valuable- maybe it could even make his life less about work, and more about..

well, living.

You're yawning, and he laughs, train of thought broken as he pets your head teasingly, before the door opens, and a very chipper Jimin walks in. "Ah, there's my favorite person!" He sings almost, walking in to put the small tray of food down, before he looks at Jungkook. "And you too, Doctor Jeon."

"Well thank you." Jungkook jokes, before he watches as Jimin opens the tray, revealing some light soup and rice for you to eat. It's only a small portion- just to slowly ease you back into eating, and not overwhelm you again. He notices how attached you seem to what he recognizes is an empty pillowcase of all things you seem to cling to, probably for comfort, taken from your first room you occupied. It's another problem- you now have no one to bring you any clothes or comforting items into hospital at all.

You're alone, all by yourself.

And for some reason, the realization of that small fact hits him hard.

♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

It's been not even a full 24 hours, and you're already causing mischief.

"There you are!" Jungkook sighs, relieved to have finally found you near a vending machine two floors away from where you should be- which is in your room, in your bed. You, meanwhile, are just simply smiling at him, tail wagging at the sight of him crouching down to you to pet your head. "Come on now, you gave the poor nurses a near heart-attack by vanishing like that." He gently scolds, before he stands back up to his full height, reaching for your hand.

But you just let yourself fall to your side, stubborn. Tail still wagging, smacking onto the smooth floor.

"Got yourself a troublemaker, huh doctor Jeon?" An older nurse laughs, watching the interaction between the hybrid specialist and you while she prepares a cart with food trays for the patients. The news of Jungkook's interest in maybe adopting you permanently has made it's round quite quickly by now- mostly thanks to Jimin, who's the unofficial news reporter of every bit of gossip there is.

Jungkook sighs. "Seems like it." He chuckles, unable to really be upset with you, considering how glad he is to see you up and running again instead of pale and fighting in the ER. It's as if you finally realized that in here, no one actually wants to hurt you. No one blames you. No one is mad at you. You're actually being cared for here- you can truly be yourself, and no one's gonna get upset over it.

And slowly, Jungkook starts to see your true personality- which does help in his decision whether or not you'll fit into his life, or not. He's not made one yet- the papers are still at home, on his desk in his office, unsigned.

It's a tough decision to make, after all.

On one hand, sure; he really likes you, you seem absolutely sweet and also independent enough to stay at home by yourself if he goes by all of your documents, which included general assessment of your overall intelligence and social capabilities. You're a bit of an odd case- while your instincts are very strong, your hybrid features very well developed, and your overall behavior shows habits and reactions similar to a hybrid much higher on the scale, you do know how to properly process situations in a more human way.

For example; Loud noises startle you, but they don't make you panic. Food and snacks make you excited, but they're useless as bribery if you don't want to do something. You can read, write, and are educated to a very good degree, and you understand social cues without any issues.

But on the other hand, Jungkook isn't a man with endless patience. He gets frustrated easily, especially with himself- so what if he snaps at you on accident? Will you understand that he doesn't mean it badly, and that it's not even directed at you? And what about when he has to work- will you be lonely in his home, unhappy but too nice to actually tell him? He doesn't want you to just waste away while he's too focused on his career. It's something important for him, after all- he can't just quit and call it a day.

Even if you were to say that you don't need the attention, or the affection, or constant care or anything at all- he'd still feel bad for not providing it anyways. Because you deserve it. You deserve someone who can love you each day properly, someone who doesn't have to push you to the back every time his job has to take priority.

He's not sure what decision to make.

Or if there's even a choice at all.

Suddenly, you're pulling on his shirt to get back his attention- probably because he started to look mad while thinking. He knows he does this- it's why he usually turns away from patients whenever he has to think about something, which makes his face look upset. "I'm not mad." He reassures you, smiling again, petting your ears again while you watch him with suspicion. You're currently in a different headspace, regressing after all the stress and honestly rather traumatic events, which makes communication a little difficult- but everyone manages, since you're quite expressive in other ways, able to tell what you want and think either way.

Jungkook wants to take care of you- he wants to take you home, and make sure you're happy forever, but he can't be selfish, or too fast with his decision.

"Now come on, it's lunch soon. You hungry?" He asks, and you nod, tail wagging as you stand up alongside him, hand holding onto his shirt as you walk next to him-

and this time, he decides to cave in a little, as he instead holds your hand in his while walking back to your room with you.

♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

Jungkook likes to play music in his apartment, even if it's just quiet.

It fills the space with noise, makes him feel less lonely, takes his mind off of things. It helps relax. But tonight, it doesn't really work, as he sits in his office, sighing as he looks at the unsigned paperwork still on his desk in front of him. He's read through all the documents more than twice now, knows what's written down, what information it all gives out to him- and yet, he's unsure what to do with it.

If he signs it, you'll be given to him for a foster time first- three weeks of 'trying it out' so to speak, to see if you're a good fit for him, and if he's a good fit for you. During that time, a careworker will visit randomly to check up once or twice, and at the end of it, it's you both who have to agree to an actual permanent registration. But Jungkook worries, he always does.

The thing he worries most about, is the fact that he feels like he's already in too deep. There's a small, pink and white plush toy in his lap after all, bought yesterday straight after work from a store specializing in hybrid clothing and other items. It's a comfort plush that holds scents very well, so he keeps it close to his body ever since buying it to offer it to you tomorrow morning when he's back in hospital to check up on you.

And yes, he has been browsing what a dog hybrid of your specific breed might need to live a happy life. He might also have looked up options for sports or other activities you might want to do-

he's really in deep, isn't he?

He sighs yet again, scratching his head in frustration after he puts down the pen, staring at the 'signature here' spot at the bottom. It could all be so easy, but he really doesn't want to fuck this all up.

He knows from Taehyung, an anesthesiologist and good friend, that having a hybrid can actually work out perfectly. He's balancing it just fine, his own hybrid at home happy and healthy, his work never suffering, his happiness thriving. The young medical worker always shows off pictures of him and his hybrid, proudly, and he really has every reason to be, considering where she came from.

But Jungkook also knows how tough it can be.

He's reminded of it every time he checks up on Yoongi and his cat hybrid- now awake, but clearly in distress over her lack of control over her own body, and it's going to be a long road to recovery for her and Yoongi just as much. He knows they'll get through it- but the amount of heartbreak and absolute terror that went down just scared Jungkook, straight up.

And he knows, your future together is absolutely going to be both of those scenarios- good, and bad.

"What's the worst that can happen.." He hums to himself, one hand playing with the fuzz of the comfort plush in his lap, little black eyes staring blankly at him, tiny mouth curved into a forever smile.

You deserve a happy future. You deserve to have opportunities, and care, and affection, and a stable environment you can rely on, and thrive in. And he won't ever really gain the knowledge of that happening if he's not the one providing that for you.

And yet, the doubts are still there, clouding his mind.

What's he going to do?

[sevasey51]

In an ongoing really bad flare of y/n’s POTS she has a really really bad episode and her brothers are over as well. She ends up seizing and Will and Connor can’t get her heart rate under control. She ends up crashing and they have to start compressions( only a couple rounds). Charlie being the good boy that he is stays the whole time and when medics come he starts freaking out.

At med Ava treats her and puts her in ICU. She wakes up while on the vent so Ava can pull the tube.

Fighting the Darkness

Summary: Y/N experienced an intense flare-up of her POTS, leaving her body unable to cope with the overwhelming symptoms. Her heart rate soared, and she began to seize. Connor and Will frantically tried everything to stabilise her, but she crashed again. They performed CPR until paramedics arrived, and Ava took over. Y/N was rushed to the ICU, where she woke up disoriented and panicked. Unable to speak due to the ventilator, she struggled, moaning and pulling at the tube. With Connor, Will, and Ava’s reassurance, she began to calm, though the fear of losing control lingered.

The apartment felt unnaturally quiet, and Y/N had been pushing herself too hard that day, her POTS flare worsening as the hours ticked by. The dizziness had worsened, her heart racing uncontrollably, and her legs unable to support her weight. She sat in the kitchen, trying to steady herself, clutching the counter, but it was becoming more and more difficult to breathe.

Her vision swam, and suddenly, pain shot through her chest like a dagger. The breath she tried to inhale caught in her throat, and her body collapsed forward, the world spinning violently around her.

“Y/N!” Matt’s voice rang out, but she couldn’t respond. Her body trembled, and she fought to stay conscious, but the pain made it impossible.

Jay was at her side immediately, his voice frantic, “Y/N, stay with us! Matt, get Connor!”

Her world was shrinking, her heart pounding in her chest, and just before everything went black, she felt the familiar hands of her husband Connor pulling her into his arms, his voice desperate.

“Y/N! Hold on, I’m here.”

Connor had heard the distress in Matt’s voice over the phone as he rushed home. He barely made it through the door before he was kneeling beside her, his hands already assessing her, his medical training instinctively taking over.

Will rushed into the kitchen, his face pale. “Connor—she’s seizing. Her heart rate is over 200. BP’s dropping. We need to do something now.”

Connor didn’t hesitate. “I’ve got her. We’re starting compressions.”

Will’s hands quickly joined in, pressing against Y/N’s chest. Her body jerked uncontrollably, her heart not responding to their efforts. Panic was rising in Connor’s chest, but he kept his voice calm as he continued, “Stay with me, Y/N. Please. You’re not alone.”

Time blurred. Charlie, their dog, stayed close by, whining anxiously as the medical team arrived. Ava took over immediately, guiding the paramedics in stabilizing Y/N before transferring her to the ICU.

The ICU was quiet when Y/N first started to stir. Her body felt foreign, the weight of exhaustion and confusion heavy in every part of her. The bright fluorescent lights overhead seemed too harsh, and her chest felt tight, as though something was restricting her.

She moaned softly, her head fuzzy, and when she tried to move, she realized her throat was blocked, something hard and unyielding down it. Her panic flared, her hands reaching up instinctively, trying to pull whatever was in her throat out.

Her movements were jerky, desperate, and her body trembled with fear. She couldn’t see clearly, couldn’t remember what had happened. The only thing she knew was that something was wrong, and she couldn’t breathe properly.

Her eyes flew open, wide and frantic, as she struggled against the ventilator tube. The feeling of it in her throat sent a wave of panic crashing through her chest, and she moaned softly, tears pooling in her eyes.

“Y/N, sweetheart, it’s okay. You’re safe. Just breathe, okay?” Connor’s voice came through the fog of her confusion. She tried to focus on it, but her hands continued to pull at the tube, her breathing becoming more erratic.

“Shh, it’s okay,” Will’s voice joined in, calm but firm. “We’re here, we’ve got you.”

But the terror she felt was consuming, her body fighting against the restraints as her mind raced in a cloud of confusion. She couldn’t speak, and every breath felt wrong, each inhale bringing with it more panic.

Tears streamed down her face as she moaned louder, the desperation in her voice clear even without words. Her arms trembled as she continued to tug at the tube.

“Y/N, please,” Connor whispered, his hand holding hers gently. He leaned closer, pressing his forehead to hers. “You’re not in any danger anymore. Just let us help you.”

She continued to squirm, her face pale with fear. But through the fog of confusion, she could hear the calmness in his voice, the steadiness in Will’s. She could feel their hands on her, their touch anchoring her to the present.

Ava moved quickly but carefully, speaking in a soothing tone. “We’re almost there, Y/N. We’re going to take the tube out, okay? Just hang on a little longer.”

Connor kissed her forehead softly, his heart aching as he stroked her hair back from her face. “I’m here. I’m always here.”

Will gave her a reassuring smile, his voice soft. “You’re safe now, Y/N. You’ve been through the worst of it, and we’re all here with you.”

Y/N’s breath started to slow as she focused on their voices, the panic slowly abating as Ava carefully removed the ventilator. The relief was immediate, though her body still trembled from the residual fear.

“Good girl,” Ava said softly, her hands gently adjusting the settings on the ventilator now that it was no longer needed. “You did great. It’s over.”

Y/N’s eyes fluttered closed, exhausted from the ordeal, but she felt the presence of her family around her, the steady comfort of Connor’s hand in hers. She didn’t know what had happened, didn’t understand fully what she’d just been through, but the one thing she did know was that she was no longer alone.

“Love you,” she whispered faintly, her voice hoarse, her eyes slowly slipping closed.

“I love you too, Y/N,” Connor whispered back, leaning down to press a soft kiss to her temple. “We’re here. You’re safe.”

And as she drifted back into sleep, the weight of the fear lifting, she knew she would get through it—just like she always did—because she wasn’t alone. Not with Connor, Will, and the rest of her family by her side.

[crystlizabeth]

Coming home for Christmas ༉‧₊˚.

Johnny ‘Soap’ McTavish x BlackWife!reader

Summery: this wasn’t how you planned on spending your Christmas

Warnings: angst, mentions of death, major injuries, mentions of pregnancy, cursing not, proofread.

.˚₊‧ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ‧₊˚.

Tiss the season, the season of giving. But instead here you are in your car after another call the words of Johnnys captain saying he’s in the ICU, the shock never settled with you properly before you could get a decent work out.

“Is he gonna live..?” Was all you could choke out. Tears running down your dark features, the line was silent price quiet, “Price in my husband going to come out alive— please, please say something.” You cried your head falling to your steering wheel your hand griping your shirt.

“I don’t know…”

You soon arrived to the hospital, you saw the three men Simon being the first to stand up. His eyes offered you comfort his hand grabbing you before you could walk further his eyes shifting from your bump to your eyes quickly. “Simon is he still alive, please tell me he’s still alive.”

“Don’t just stand there and look at me god danmit! Is Johnny alright.” You cried you breath quickening.

Simon nodded his thumbs rubbing comfortably against your arms his eyes never leaving yours “the have him stable.. they don’t know if he’ll make it through the second surgery though… but the have to do the second surgery..”

You whinced “I need to see him,” you said pulling away from Simon who tried to protest but followed you to the counter.

Your voice shaky yet demanding as you spoke to the nurse. “Please I just need to see him, for fuck sake let me see my husband.” The nurse only protested said that it wasn’t the best time to see him for he was going to be transferred soon.

Enough begging got you to his room, dropping your purse as you talked over to Johnnys bed. He was a sickening white tubes everywhere, his eyes were closed the faint beeping of his heart rate. You almost broke down there your body going over to him, your hand touching his face lightly “oh baby what have the done to you..” you whispered your tears welding up in your dark eyes.

Your lips pressed against his cheek then his forehead, “please, please I still need you.” You spoke your lips hovering over his forehead, he was cold.

“You promised, you fucking promise..” you cried your body shaking slightly as you did.

“Don’t worry I’ll be home for Christmas okay lass..” his thick voice reassured you. You hummed sitting on your couch the light from the tree lighting up the living room the smell of sugar cookies filling your home.

“You promise?” You asked softly your hands tugging on your curls.

“I promise.” He said you could hear the smile in his voice.

“Okay.. if you don’t you wont hear the end of it from my mom.” You chuckled.

He laughed “Ye’ I know, she never let meh’ forget.” His voice was so alive yet you could tell he was putting on a brave face.

“Your gonna be okay right.?”

“I always am.” He spoke softly.

“I’m gonna be home for Christmas, just gotta finish this damned mission, so save a place for me.” You smiled at his words.

“There’s no other place I’d rather be..” he finished.

“I’ll see you when you get home— there’s something I need to show ya aswell.” You spoke a smile still lingering on your face.

“I cant wait to see, because you keep mentioning it but wont tell me.” He groaned

You laughed lightly “I love you Johnny…”

“I love you to, I love you a fuck ton.” He sighed a smile within his tone.

Instead of being home you sat in the waiting room of a hospital. The decor spread all around the hospital, lights, cut out snowflakes, for the most happiest time of the year why did it have to be so sad?

You couldn’t help but flinch the sharp pain that sat in your back finally getting to you. “You alright?” Simon asked.

You nodded “yeah body pain seemed to be worse since I’ve been pregnant.. just been a bit bumpy aswell.” You sighed, whipping your face. You had been waiting, waiting for them to tell you your husband was going to be okay and that he’d be awake. But hours it seemed like passed and you just sat there no sleep just your brain disassociating.

All you wanted was to be in your shared bed Johnny holding you, his warmth comforting you so tenderly. Johnny seeking the reassurance and comfort from you after a long mission. Your lip quivers at the thought of not returning home without him, having to go home knowing you’d never see him again. “I can’t lose him..”

The boys looked at you Johns hand squeezing your leg in reassurance, your head laid on Simon’s arm your hand in between your thighs. “He’ll make it love.” John spoke softly.

But what if he didn’t..

What if you were abandoned once more by a man In your life by death. You would be able to come back from it this time.

This ringing of your phone scared you as you sat up quickly, taking a minute before turning you phone over ‘Mama’..

“Hello..” you answered.

“Hi baby— are you alright you sound like you’ve been crying?” She spoke her voice quickly filled with concern.

You nodded befor breaking down again “Johnnys in surgery… mama I don’t know if he gonna make it.” You sobbed a harsh cry leaving your throat, the feeling of Simon’s hand rubbing circles on you back.

���What? Baby what happen do you know? Oh baby im gonna come to you.” She spoke the sound of her moving around quickly grabbing her things, the sound of your siblings asking what’s wrong in the background.

“I don’t know it happend while he was working, Mama I don’t know what to do..” you continued to cry.

“I don’t know what I’m gonna do if he doesn’t make it.”

“I’m coming baby, I’ll be there as soon as I can,” he voice trying to reassure you. “Have faith baby he’s gonna make it the man isn’t gonna leave you.. he’s fighting.” She spoke.

“I know— I know,” you sniffed.

You needed her more than ever right now, yes you knew the boys but they weren’t your mom. When she got there her silk press short and tiled behind her ears, her arms reaching out to you taking you in them. Her soft words trying to calm you down but still let you cry in her arms.

She and the boys convinced you to go home after much protest, Simon promising that he would call you when he was out and awake.

It felt like forever, three day had passed. December 24th Simon called you his words quick, “he’s awake, he’s looking for you.” You didn’t hesitate to get in the car with your mom, her speeding yall over to the hospital.

You walked in quickly up to the front desk, “McTavish, John- im his wife.” You stuttered.

“(Name).” Simons voice caught your attention, him waving you over so you went. Following him up the elevator to the room, it felt as if everything was in slow motion.

Turning to his room there he was sitting up, his eyes quickly meeting yours. You threw yourself at him “oh god..” you cried your arms holding him tightly as he did you. Your lips touching the crown of his head first then your lips met with his, the kiss filled with so much security and comfort he was actually there. He wasn’t cold anymore he was so warm his lips soft te taste of salt resting on them from his and your tears. You could feel prices presents just incase Johnny fell back but he didn’t he held you so securely.

“I’m sorry, fuck I’m so sorry.” He cried his hand holding the back of your head.

You shook your head “I’m sorry I almost let ya lassie, I’m sorry your spending Christmas in the hospital.” He cried kissing your face.

“There’s no place I rather be than with you.” You spoke your lips meeting his again, pulling away you finally got a look at his face his big glossy eyes looking down at you. His blue eyes looking all over you face your melanin features stained form your tears his hand still connected to a tube and wire as he ran his thumb under your puffy eyes.

“Weeping becous of me? I’ve caused you all this grief..” he spoke tenderly.

“Just scared is was gonna lose ya.” You spoke leaning into his touch.

It took his to realize, when he looked down he had to double check. His eyes meeting your once more bright than they already were a fat smile displayed on his face as he wrapped his arms around you again. “So this is what your we’re gonna tell me eh?” He smiled him sitting down on the bed one time get more at level with your stomach and two because his body couldn’t take the standing anymore.

His large hands feeling your bump. He let his forehead touch your stomach, your hands holding the sides of his face as he just laid there.

“I promise I ain’t gonna leave ya..” he spoke.

“I know baby…”you whispered.

“We’ll get through this, and we’ll have to have our own little Christmas just you and me.” He said looking up at her.

Tis the season of giving, for Johnny got all he needed. He was gonna live to see another day he was going to be a dad. And he’d get to wake up next to you till he got gray and wrinkly that’s all Johnny could want for Christmas, you.

Here’s a little Christmas one shot! Hope you like it!!

[cityzenshark]

Family | Chapter 24 - Hearts and Sparks

Homepage | Book One: Family | Book Two: Unity | Book Three: Belonging

Synopsis: The townspeople of Witwicky help the Maltos in return for saving their town.

.

Robby is transferred to the ICU as his conditions worsens. The doctor finds his symptoms to be a combination of sepsis and something that seems to be energon poisoning but isn’t. After he leaves, Robby tearfully confesses to Dot how terrible he had been since moving to their new home and apologizes for putting the Terrans in danger and for lashing out at her. Dorothy hugs her son, crying herself, and forgives him. Robby wishes the cybersleeve to come off. Later, his old friends come to visit him, including Stevie. What Robby said to Stevie still hurts but Stevie hates to see him deathly ill even more. Robby apologizes to him, and the two old friends made up.

       At the town’s capitol building, Alex and Mo is invited by the town Elders to discuss if the town’s old legends are related to the Core, the Emberstone, and the cybersleeves so they might be able to help solve the family’s issues. Mo hesitates to tell, then the shaman reassures her by telling her about Witwicky’s Mountain Spirit and Her stonemen offspring. If the ‘stonemen’ had been previous Terrans, they are records of something similar to cybersleeves on their ancestors who had lived with them. Later, Alex and Mo exit the capitol building to find Mo’s friends and their families waiting for them with charity they had collected for the Malto’s.

“It’s the least we can do after you saved us from Grimlock. Besides, it’s not like we haven’t seen the Terrans before that evening.”

“...You’ve seen them before?”

“Yep! Since your first day of school here, actually.”

“What... Why didn’t any of you say anything?”

“You seem scared for them, Mo. We didn’t want to stress you out, so we decided to wait for you, Robby or Mr and Mrs Malto to say something.”

“The revelation could’ve been better...”

“Hey, Mo, it’s over and done. You and your family saved this town and now it’s time for us to help you.”

       Back home, the Terrans have separated counselling sessions with therapists.

Hashtag has hers by the waterfall. She talks about her trauma and worries how humanity would welcome after what she did in Philly city because – mind controlled or not — she’s still responsible for the damages. Nightshade has theirs at the edge of the cow paddock. They express how ashamed they feel from their lack of understanding to their siblings’ feelings even when the cyberlink was still intact yet hates it so much. Jawbreaker has his at Mrs Belle’s silo. He feels embarrassed to be afraid of his older Terran siblings and shares his guilt for triggering Grimlock’s PTSD. Thrash has his in the bunker. He expresses the burden he feels for not just being the big brother but also being the first of his kind in a world hurt by the senior Transformers-kind; how he wishes the Terrans to never be involved in fixing the Cybertronians’ mistakes.

Meanwhile Twitch has hers in the woods where she and Robby went Wak-Wak hunting. Twitch refuses to admit her wrongs as she tries to convince her therapist how her actions were right, while the latter is wrong and bad for disagreeing her. Her therapist shares his personal story where he let his anger get the better of him. His actions got an innocent bystander killed. While he was in the right that time, the bystander is a victim, and he will forever be responsible for their death. Twitch’s decision to help Bumblebee and Brawl herself was indeed right, but the price was not worth the city’s destruction or it being the world’s first impression on the Terrans. Worst, Hashtag’s innocence is now unbelievable for an unforeseeable future.

Realisation finally dawned on Twitch, followed by immense regret. She wails loudly. Alarmed by her cries, her Terran siblings rush to her. Twitch hugs Hashtag by her neck and sob “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry, little sister!!” Though confused, Hashtag hugs her back and their brothers join in. The therapists give them some privacy, feeling relieved and glad for them.

.

.

.

[northernattude]

@wishingonstcrs

The days were getting shorter and colder, and as that began to happen, Andrew could feel the seasonal sadness seeping into his skin. It wasn't like he burst into tears or was anything serious, just a small layer of ice over the warmth he was usually able to let shine. Today had not been easy, two longer surgeries and one ICU transfer later, but no one had died on his watch today and for that he felt proud. He sat at the computer, typing up his notes and dictating when he saw her. There had been two women walking through his mind lately and to see one of them made his heart warm and brought a smile to his face. "Hey Shepherd!" he called out. Sure, they'd had spent a night or two together, but he still got nervous butterflies around her.

[tttabii]

── .한 수강 LUXURIOUS ૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა

han su-gang x female reader

warnings : smut, minors do not interact, 18+

YOU WEREN'T EXACTLY PROUD of the incident-it goes without saying that the last school was not ready for someone like you. The girl you sent to the ICU was obviously in a position to receive such treatment after months of food being thrown at your back, having your family brought into it, and almost cutting your hair while you were stretching on the gym floor in PE.

Therefore, you don't regret making the decision.

The school board does, obviously, and that is how you apply to transfer mid semester, loosening your hair down, get your attire just right, and paste on a fake sweet smile.

New school, new beginnings. Supposedly.

Except, nobody warned you that you would be walking straight into his class.

Han Su-gang.

The name could have been praised as the gospel throughout the school hallways. Not only was he feared, but he couldn't be touched. He had a sharp immaculate jawline, piercing stare as his hands folded in his pockets were he struts through a corridor like he owned the entire place. In some respects, he owned all of it.

Even teachers looked the other way when he opened his mouth and raised his voice. Students openly talked about him as though he were a legend. A monster. A king.

You weren't sure what you expected walking in that day, but the moment your eyes locked with his across the room, you could tell he was intrigued. His posture leaned back like he was already bored, but the way his gaze followed your every move screamed otherwise.

"I'm Y/n," you said sweetly, your lips upturned just enough to be polite, your eyes bright and warm. You had perfected it-innocent. Harmless. Forgettable.

The teacher nodded, assigned you to the empty desk near the windows... the empty desk next to his. Classes continued, but you could feel it-his eyes on you, Judging. Wondering if you were prey, threat, or entertainment.

Then came recess.

You were rifling through your bag, annoyed. "Where the hell..." you muttered under your breath. Your airpods were gone. You could have sworn you put them right back this morning.

"Looking for something?" a cool, lazy voice asked. You looked up only to see him, Han Su-gang himself, casually perched on the corner of the desk like he lived there.

"Airpods," you said simply, ruffling your hair in frustration, brushing it over one shoulder. His crew had surrounded your desk like vultures, two girls gossiping with each other, and five guys like bumbling guards. You weren't bothered, but you weren't stupid enough to ignore it.

He tilted his head. "They probably fell out. Or maybe someone took 'em."

You looked up at him, not buying the innocent act for a second.

"Why don't you come join us on the rooftop?" he said suddenly, the corner of his lips pulling up in smirk that could be view as charming. "I'll show you what this school is really about."

Flirting or taunting-you weren't sure. But he was hot, and he knew it. He was hot regardless, and he knew it. Just as you were about to respond, a voice from the doorway called, "Y/N, please come to the teacher's office! We need you to finalize your transfer papers."

You got to your feet, shook out your skirt, and gave Su-gang a polite smile. "Well, I guess I'll take a raincheck."

But before you could leave, he leaned in closer, his breath ghosting over your ear, "I can't wait to see what you're like after hours, jagiya," he whispered just loud enough for his gang to hear, lips barely brushing your skin.

It wasn't dirty, but it felt dirty.

You blinked. A beat skipped in your chest-and then you walked out without another word.

Game on.

The rooftop air was heavy with vapor and smoke-the sun was down low, casting golden light over the buildings, as if it didn't know what kind of things went down on rooftops like this. You stepped outside, the thud of your shoes echoed on the concrete, the poppy breeze tugged at your shortened skirt.

There they were. Han Su-gang's crew.

They all leaned back like they didn't care in the world, casually taking puffs from their vapes, like it was a solemn tradition. The girls laughed and let sweet-smelling clouds exit their mouths. One of the guys was lounging on the ledge, feet dangling off, staring at the circling campus with half-opened eyes.

And right in the center of it all, like a throne had been carved out of concrete just for him-Han Su-gang. You raised an eyebrow as you walked up without a hint of nervousness. He didn't say anything at first, just grinned when he noticed you, walking his eye down your legs... pausing when he saw the edge of a tattoo peeking from your thigh.

The slightest smirk raised at the corner of his mouth.

So much for your "sweet girl" act.

"Didn't think you'd show up," he said, voice low and cool, exhaling smoke as he gestured to the empty seat next to him with a casual pat. "Come. Let's get acquainted."

His buddies whistled, sneering quietly with dumb smiles plastered on their faces like they were witnessing a performance. You took your time sitting down, raising your brows higher like it was boring. "You gonna tell me your name, or should I guess it from the gossip?"

"Han Su-gang," he replied, tapping the end of his vape absentmindedly against his palm before raising himself forward closer to you and adding, "You can try out my surname if you want. It fits you."

You huffed a laugh-more amused than flustered-but you had to admit that the way he said everything breezed through the air so easily you felt a curl of anxiety in your gut. The flirting was straight up real. He extended the vape toward you. You looked at the device and then shifted your gaze to him

"I don't just share this with anyone," he said, very smugly.

You took the vape anyway. "Consider me someone."

You took a drag and let it out slow; the room felt like the air slipped somewhere, but you made eye contact through the fog of mist and smoke. The air changed again, enough that he leaned into you now, only a breath away from your face.

"Not bad," he murmured. "Tough girl, huh? Shame your act's cracking already."

You feigned cluelessness. "What act?"

His hand slid across your thigh, featherlight over where the ink curved out from beneath your skirt. "This one."

Another whistle. This time, a boy had his phone up and was clearly taking a picture. You threw him a lazy glance. "Blackmail already?"

Su-gang smirked, still not taking his eyes off you. "They just want evidence I found someone fun."

You couldn't lie, he was attractive. And even if this was just some warped version of getting bullied, the look he gave you? Like he had already claimed you as his for his own?

Yeah, it made your heart beat a little faster. And judging by the way his eyes darkened when you smirked back at him?

He wasn't immune to you either.

────୨ৎ────

The teacher's warning faded away in your mind like just background noise, something dull and forgettable. "Stay away from Han Su-gang," she said, with a voice catching genuine concern as well as some degree of exhausted resignation.

But you had already taken a stroll down the halls with him, less than an hour later, while he tossed a bag over the shoulder of some poor kid he had probably convinced to become his personal mule, along with yours.

And you didn't say anything about it, didn't skip a beat, didn't even question it. You just walked next to Su-gang as if you had always walked side by side.

If she misread you as a "good girl," maybe that was on her.

Once your heels clicked out of reach, the whispers began immediately, almost rhythmically.

"That's the new girl?"

"Already in his crew?"

"I guess she's not as sweet as she looks."

And Su-gang- he knew where the stares were directed. He felt the envy. One glance from him, and the guys glancing over at you? Everyone could see their chances dwindle; it was over.

When you arrived at the club that night, the bass thumped through the walls like a second heart. The expensive lights rendered everything in cinematic slow motion.

Champagne foamed in crystal flutes. Cigarette smoke curled around lazy smiles and glossy lips.

You fit into it all like you were born for it.

That tight black dress you wore? Sin. Draped perfectly over your curves, hugging you in all the right ways. Every head turned when you walked past-girls whispering, guys staring like you weren't real.

You were sitting on the plush couch in the VIP area, giggling with the girls while holding a champagne glass. You let out that cute little giggle that you always do when you saw the box of fancy cigarettes sitting on the table. You remember expressing interest in them before, but everywhere you went, they had been sold out.

But here on the table, there they were.

Su-gang made sure of it.

You stood to reach for one of the cigarettes, and before your hand hit the box, he appeared from behind you, pulled you down out of nowhere into his lap, with his strong arms wrapped around your waist.

Gasps and teasing whistles erupted from around the table.

"Yah, Su-gang-" one of the guys started to say before getting shot down from the look Su-gang gave him.

He didn't say anything to you at first, just tucked his chin near your neck, the heat of his breath ghosting over your skin as his hand splayed boldly across your stomach. Possessive. Like he already claimed you.

"Pass the cigarettes," he said, his tone lazy, yet decisive. One of the men in the group grabbed them and handed them to him, fumbling but trying to be quick.

He picked one out for you, and slipped it between your lips the way someone brushes hair from your eyes.

"Don't say I never treat you." He lit it for you, and watched you inhale, your eyes on his the whole time. And for a moment, the whole club disappeared-the music, the people, the flashing lights.

Just you in his lap, the luxury curling between your fingers, smoke on your breath, and power in your smile. You weren't in his world. You were his world.

Su-gang leaned in, his breath hot against Leo's ear. "Let's go somewhere more private," he whispered, his voice a seductive promise that sent a shiver down your spine.

You nodded, unable to resist the allure of the moment. He glanced back at the group of friends who were now fully engaged in their own conversations, the laughter and the music creating a wall of sound that seemed to swell around them.

With a gentle nudge, Su-gang led you out of the VIP lounge, his hand firm but not overpowering on the small of your back. The hallway was a stark contrast to the vibrant energy of the club, the dim lights casting elongated shadows on the walls.

The bathroom door loomed ahead, and as Su-gang pushed it open, the cool air hit your flushed cheeks like a slap. Su-gang locked the door behind you two, the finality of the click sending a thrill through your body.

With a sudden urgency, Su-gang felt the need to capture the moment, to seal the intensity of his desire before the world outside intruded. He stepped closer, the warmth of your body radiating through the thin fabric of your dress, and without a second thought, he pinned you against the cold, hard surface of the library door.

His eyes searched yours, a silent question, and in your gaze, he found the answer he craved.

Your lips met in a passionate dance, a fiery exchange of breath and sensation that sent shivers down both of your spines. His hands slid around your waist, pulling you closer, as if trying to erase the last sliver of space between you.

You felt the softness of his mouth, the rough bite of his teeth, the tender way his tongue explored yours. It was a kiss that spoke of longing and need, a silent declaration of feelings that had been smoldering for weeks.

Su-gang's thumbs hooked into the straps of your dress, and with surprising deftness, he tugged them down, exposing your bare shoulders to the cool air.

Your heart fluttered in your chest, the excitement building as you nodded when he asked for your consent, your eyes never leaving his. His hands continued their journey, reaching behind you to unclasp your bra.

The fabric fell down, and you felt a rush of vulnerability mixed with exhilaration as his palms cupped your breasts, his thumbs grazing your sensitive nipples.

With a low growl, he bent his head to nuzzle against your neck, his teeth grazing the delicate skin. The sensation sent bolts of electricity through your body, making you arch into him.

He took it as an invitation and began to kiss and bite you gently, leaving a trail of fire along your collarbone and down to the swell of your breasts. The sharpness of his teeth sent delicious shivers down your spine, and you couldn't help but let out a soft moan, your breath hitching in your throat.

"Take off your clothes too," you urged him, your voice barely a whisper in the vast silence of the library.

He smirked, his eyes dark with desire, and stepped back. "Whatever you say, sweetheart."

With deliberate slowness, he began to unbutton his shirt, one button at a time. His muscles rippled in the dim light as the fabric parted, revealing his broad chest. He watched as you eyed him up and down, savoring the way your eyes devoured his body.

As you slipped out of your dress, you felt the coolness of the marble floor beneath your bare feet, a stark contrast to the warmth of his touch.

His gaze lingered on your lacy underwear, and before you could take another breath, his fingers were there, tracing the edges of your panties. He slipped his hand inside, his thumb finding your clit and beginning to circle it with maddening precision.

The sensation was exquisite, making you gasp and whine. Your knees grew weak, and you leaned back against the door for support, your eyes fluttering closed.

Su-gang took advantage of your momentary vulnerability, hoisting you up effortlessly and placing you on the countertop that ran along the far wall of the bathroom.

The coldness of the counter sent a shock through your system, but it only heightened the heat building between your legs. With a fierce growl, he ripped your panties off, tossing them aside like a forgotten piece of paper.

You felt a brief moment of exposure, but it was quickly swallowed by the overwhelming need to have him inside you.

He stepped between your spread legs, his eyes never leaving yours as he unbuckled his belt and let his pants fall to the floor.

His erection sprang free, thick and demanding, and you bit on your lips in anticipation. He didn't waste any time and plunge two fingers into your wet pussy.

The sudden intrusion made you cry out, your hips bucking against his hand as he began to finger you with a fast, relentless pace.

The way his hand moved inside you was almost magical, curling and stroking in a way that no one else had ever managed to do. It was as if he could read your mind, giving you exactly what you needed without you having to ask for it.

The pressure built quickly, and you felt your orgasm approaching like a freight train, unstoppable and all-consuming.

But just as you were about to reach the peak, Su-gang withdrew his fingers, leaving you gasping for more.

He leaned in, his cock pressing against your thigh, and whispered in your ear, "I want to hear you scream my name when you come."

Before you could react, he positioned himself at your entrance, the tip of his cock playing with your clit, teasing and taunting. It was agonizingly sweet, and you squirmed against the cold counter, desperate for relief.

With a final, almost torturous kiss, he plunged into you, filling you up in one smooth stroke. Your nails dug into his back, leaving trails of red against his skin as you whispered his name, over and over again.

His hips moved with an animalistic rhythm, each thrust pushing you closer to the edge. He was so deep inside you, it was as if he was touching your soul, the connection between your bodies palpable and intense.

Su-gang flipped your body to face the mirror, hand reached around to cup your face, turning it towards the bathroom mirror. Your eyes met in the reflection, the desire in them almost feral.

The sight of him behind you, his muscles flexing with each movement, was enough to make you whimper.

You could see the way his cock disappeared into your hole, the way your ass cheeks clapped against his pelvis with every thrust.

It was raw, it was real, and it was the most erotic thing you had ever experienced.

With a growl, he thrusted into you even slower but rougher, making it feel as if every inch of him was leaving an indelible mark on your insides.

You moaned so loud that it was likely that even his friends, who had chosen this moment to place their ear by the bathroom, could hear. The sound of your pleasure bounced off the tiles, mixing with the slap of flesh on flesh.

"I'm gonna cum fuck!" you moaned, the words a desperate plea and declaration all at once. The intensity of your orgasm was building, a crescendo of sensation that had you panting and trembling.

"Can I cum inside?" Su-gang grunted, his voice strained with his own impending release. His eyes searched yours in the mirror, seeking confirmation, a silent question in the midst of the chaos.

You nodded vigorously, the anticipation making your pussy tighten around him.

"Yes," you managed to breathe, your voice a gasp that matched his rhythm. "Do it, cum inside me."

The words seemed to unleash something primal within him. His thrusts grew more frenzied, his hips slapping against your ass with a force that was both exhilarating and a bit painful.

Each smack sent a jolt of pleasure through your body, making you squirt around his cock and coating him in your juices. He groaned, the sound deep and guttural, his eyes never leaving yours in the mirror as he drove into you.

Finally, with one last powerful thrust, Su-gang came inside you, filling you with his warm, thick cum. The feeling of him releasing was almost as intense as your own orgasm, and you felt your walls clench around him, milking every last drop.

Your legs trembled, and you wrapped your arms around his neck for support as he slowly pulled out, the last spurts of his seed painting your inner thighs.

For a moment, you let him sit you up on the counter, panting and trying to regain your composure. The cold wood of the counter was a stark contrast to the heat of your passion, and you shivered slightly.

Su-gang took notice, his expression softening as he carefully helped you sit up. He grabbed a handful of tissues from a box on the counter, his eyes never leaving yours as he began to clean you up. His touch was gentle, almost reverent, as if he were handling something precious.

When you were both dressed and ready to leave, your eyes fell on the shredded fabric of your panties lying on the floor. A small smile played on your lips, a silent reminder of the intensity that had just occurred. He noticed your gaze and smirked, bending down to pick them up.

Without a word, he crumpled the ruined fabric into a ball and tossed it into the trash can, his movements still filled with a restrained energy.

The air in the hallway felt heavier than it had minutes ago. You paused for a second, fingers fidgeting together as your eyes met his friend-Ji-won, maybe?

He didn't even try to mask the smug smirk pulling at his lips.

You were used to stares, to whispers, to attention. But this?

This wasn't just about your dress, or the way your heels clicked against the marble floor-this was about the obvious blooming bruises decorating your skin, like Su-gang had marked you on purpose.

Like he wanted everyone to know.

And judging by the way the boys avoided direct eye contact, shifting uncomfortably or biting back grins-they did know.

You cleared your throat and walked past them, your head held high, even if your cheeks burned. Su-gang wasn't far behind, his steps lazy and deliberate, like he owned every inch of the hallway.

"Hyung, you're insane," one of the younger boys muttered under his breath, but loud enough for you to hear.

Su-gang just shrugged, cocky grin tugging at his mouth. "What? She didn't complain."

You shot him a look-part scandalized, part flustered, part can't-help-it smirk. And he looked entirely unbothered, like he wanted them to see.

Like he liked the way you were standing here, slightly dazed, slightly marked up, completely his.

"Let them talk," he said low enough for just you to hear, brushing his hand against the small of your back as he walked past.

"They'll learn soon enough that you're mine."

[s-d23]

My brother called me a 5am to tell me my mom was in the hospital and would be transferred to another larger hospital for dialysis. Uhm what? She was fine yesterday and watched my son after school. How are you fine one day and in ICU the next. Absolutely no history, no major health issues and now hoping and praying these labs get better. It just hard to wrap my head around. I keep waiting on the everything is fine and oh we are just being overly cautious but that's not came yet. Still hoping it will.

Update. Just a waiting game on if her labs continue to get better wether or not she will have to have dialysis. Egfr is a 5 got to a 6 today then back down to a 5. Now they believe she has rhabdomyolysis from her prescription meds, being dehydrated and a virus she got within the past week.

Update. Dialysis tomorrow. Things haven't gotten better like they hoped.

[anglophiletraveler]

In My Life

Chapter 41

And I Love Her

Written by John Lennon and Paul McCartney

I could hear this song in my head when I was writing about Grace and Joshua in this chapter.  Thye’ve had this long, loving relationship for so many years.  They’re one of those couples who still hold hands while taking a walk, and still very much enjoy making love.  Must be where Ross gets it from!  Thanks for being loyal readers.  

***************** 

Demelza got a phone call from the hospital later that night.  It had actually woke her from a deep sleep that she had finally managed to obtain.  At first she was confused as to why her phone was ringing and then she quickly answered the phone.  It was a nurse from the hospital. The nursing staff had to move Ross back into ICU because his sats wouldn’t stabilise after the disastrous visit from Elizabeth.  She quickly called Caroline and Dwight and they picked her up on the way to the hospital.  She decided to wait until she saw Ross before she woke up his parents.  On the way to the hospital Demelza told the couple about Elizabeth showing up and getting Ross upset, refusing to leave, and how Ross’s nurse had to throw Elizabeth out and threaten to call security.  It was after this that his breathing became laboured again.  Demelza had packed a small bag with her this time.

The three friends walked swiftly into the waiting room for the ICU unit. Dwight stopped Demelza and had her get her composure before they approached the window that separated the nurses station from the waiting room.  Demelza took a couple deep breaths and rang the buzzer to let the nurses know that they were there.  The window slid back to reveal a nurse, “Hello, I was called earlier and told that my fiance’ Ross Poldark was transferred here because of his breathing.”

The nurse looked at her and at Dwight and Caroline behind her.  “Hold on, I’ll go get his nurse,” and she closed the window again.  

Demelza rolled her eyes and started biting her lip.  Caroline stepped forward and put her arms around her friend, “It’s going to be okay.  He’s right where he needs to be.  And don’t you worry, the next time I see Elizabeth, I will personally slap her.”

Dwight stepped in the conversation, “Caroline, that’s not going to help anything.”

Demelza swung her head around so quickly at Dwight she looked like she was from the Exorcism, “Like hell it won’t Dwight.”  Dwight’s eyes widened at Demelza’s response.

The window opened again, and the nurse smiled at Demelza, “Hello, I think I remember you from when Mr Poldark was in our unit the last time.”

Demelza smiled at the recognition, “Yes, hello, so how is Ross?  Can I see him?”

“Hello Dr. Enys.  Well, he’s finally resting comfortably now and we’d like to keep him that way.  His breathing became very laboured a few hours ago like I told you over the phone.  But I told him that you’re here, and he’s asked to see you.  So you can see him but only for a few minutes.”

“Did you have to intubate him?” Dwight asked.

“No, but it was close.  We’re doing what we can to avoid that.  Radiology will be coming in for a portable chest x-ray soon.  We’ve been keeping a really close eye on him.  He’s on 4 litres of 02 right now, so hopefully by morning we can titrate that down.”

“Thank you.  May we see him now?” Dwight asked.

The nurse gave him a pensive look, “I really should only let his fiance in, but if you promise not to excite him, I’ll let all of you go in, but just for a few minutes.”  The nurse opened the door and let the three friends go into Ross’s room.  Demelza hated how quiet it was in this unit.  The quiet was accented by the beeping of the machines, the blue lights glowing from the monitors, the swooshing sound from the respirators.

The nurse pulled back the curtain to Ross’s room.  Demelza was making every effort to keep herself together, but the minute she saw Ross laying in that bed looking pale again, she couldn’t hide her tears.

Ross smiled, “Hey, hey baby don’t cry.. … I’m fine. And I’ll be ….even better tomorrow.  You just ….wait and see.  Shhhh.”

Demelza sat next to him on his bed and held his hand, “I’m sorry, I can’t help it.  You need to stop scaring the shit out of me like this!”

Ross smiled at his fiance, “I’m sorry,” Ross turned his head and noticed Caroline standing behind Dwight. “Oh fuck… I must be dying if… Caroline is here,” he was only half kidding when he saw her standing there.  He hadn’t seen her since he had been in the hospital.

Caroline smiled and stepped forward, “No, I’ve just been lifting weights so that when I punch Elizabeth it will really leave a shiner on her eye!”  All four friends laughed at her statement.  

Demelza raised an eyebrow at Caroline, “Get in line girlfriend, I get my hands on her first.”

Ross was looking at his fierce redhead, “Hang on…now, wait until I’m better… so I can watch!”

Dwight shook his head, “How are you feeling Ross?  What’s your chest feeling like?”

Ross tilted his head a little, “Um, it’s… a little tight.  I imagine…after a couple… more breathing treatments…it will feel…better.”  

Dwight could tell that he was struggling and looked tired.  He cleared his throat, “Ladies, I think we need to get going so Ross can get some rest.”  He gave Caroline a knowing look.

“Yes, I need to get my beauty sleep,” Caroline said.  “Demelza, why don’t you spend the night with us?  And then I can drive you back first thing in the morning.”

Demelza shook her head, “No, I’m going to spend the night in the waiting room.  I packed a bag.”

Ross grabbed Demelza’s hand again, “Babe, I promise I’ll …be alright.  Go home, or …spend the night with them...  Besides, the morning isn’t… that far off.  Get… some rest.  ‘Kay?  Please?”

A tear rolled down Demelza’s cheek, “Oh, alright.  But I’m just going to be right back here in the morning.”  She leaned down and kissed him again. “I love you Ross.”

“I love you too baby.”

Caroline wiped a tear from her eye watching her friends.  They left the room and they all let out a heavy sigh.  Demelza looked Dwight in the eye, “Okay Dwight, be honest. How is he really?”

“Well, he’s struggling to breathe again, like he did when he first came out of surgery, and I’m not happy about that.  From what the nurse said, he’s right on the edge of needing to go back on the vent, and that’s not good.  I think the next couple of hours are critical in keeping him off the vent.  If he can make it through the next few hours without having to go on the vent, that will be huge.  He needs to stay calm and rest.  I’m not going to stop you from spending the night here in the waiting room, but I would tell the nurses to not tell him that you’re here, because the last thing he needs is to worry about you sleeping out here.  But, I understand that you want to be close by.  Have you thought about getting a hotel room across the street where Joshua and Grace are?”

“No, I haven’t.  Do you think I should call them?”

“Yes, I do. Just because I think they should know what happened with Elizabeth and how it caused him to have a setback.  Would you like me to call them?” Dwight asked.

“No, I should do it.  Thank you both for coming with me.  I’m sorry to get you out of bed in the middle of the night,” Demelza’s voice was low.

Caroline hugged her friend, “Don’t be ridiculous.  We’re here for you 24/7.  Just take care of yourself and don’t be afraid to call us, alright?”

Demelza shook her head in reply.  She was glad to see Caroline and Dwight together and they didn’t seem to be as tense together as they had been previously.  After they left, Demelza walked back up to the window for the nurse station.  When the window opened she explained that she was going to stay in the waiting room, but they weren't to let Ross know.  She sat down and stretched her neck out a little and then called Joshua.  He was able to talk with Demelza without waking up his wife.

“So, I’m going to get you a room here at the hotel so you’ll be closer.  I’ll come over in a few hours and relieve you, so that you can come get your room and rest.  And I’ll not take no for an answer, Demelza.  Do you hear?  You don’t have to do this all on your own.”

“Yes, I hear.  I’ll call if there are any changes.”  She hung up and decided to get as comfortable as she could on the green couch that smelled like hospital antiseptic.

**********************

When Joshua arrived, he found Demelza asleep in an uncomfortable position on the green couch.  He went over to the window for the nurse’s station and gave them a list of Trenwith occupants who weren’t allowed to visit Ross with the exception of Verity.  They weren’t going to risk another setback in Ross’s condition.

Joshua gave Demelza’s shoulder a nudge to wake her up, “Come on, luv, wake up so you can go get some real rest at the hotel.  Here’s your room key, you’re in room 318.”

“Wha..oh hello.  What time is it?”

“It’s time for you to go get some rest.  Don’t worry about Ross, I’ll keep an eye on him.  Come on, up you go.  And Ross is still asleep so don’t even think of going in to say good-bye.  You can see him later.”

Demelza frowned at her future father-in-law.  He had a different tone in his voice that she didn’t appreciate.  She hasn’t allowed anyone to speak to her that way since she walked out of her father’s house all those years ago and never looked back.  So she’s hoping that he’s just in a grumpy mood for not getting enough sleep.  She didn’t really know her future in-laws that well, so she needs to tread cautiously.  “Well, I am going to see him before I leave.” She got up and went to check on Ross.  Joshua furrowed his brows like Ross when he watched her walk back to Ross’s room.

**********************

Demelza quietly walked back to Ross’s room.  She didn’t want to wake him, she just wanted to see his sleeping face before she checked into the hotel room, but she was greeted by a brilliant smile.  “Well hey there!  I wasn’t expecting you to be awake!”

“Well I wasn’t expecting youuu… to be here at all!  So either …you got up extra early to get here, or… you spent the night… on the couch after…I told you to go…home!  I’m guessin….that you spent the night.  Come here…and kiss me.”

Demelza didn’t waste any time and gave Ross a long, slow kiss, “Mmmm, I love you, but I shouldn’t be doing this in case your father walks in.”

“My father?  Who cares …..what he walks in on.”

“Well, he told me not to come in and see you before I left.  I think he was afraid that I was going to wake you up and disturb you,” Demelza added.

“Well, I’m glad that you didn’t listen to him,” Ross’s eyes were starting to have their sparkle back

“Well you look like you feel better.  That’s good.  Maybe you can get moved out of this room into a regular room today?”  Demelza was hoping for the best.

“That’s a definite possibility!” Demelza turned to the voice of the same nurse that ran Elizabeth out of town yesterday.  “Good morning Red, I trust you had a good night’s sleep on that lovely green couch.”

Demelza chuckled, “As a matter of fact I did, thank you very much.  I’m actually becoming quite attached to it!  So you think you might be setting this one loose today?”

“Mmmaybe.  But your father brought us a list of visitors that are not allowed to visit, so that should help.  So I’ll leave you two alone for a few minutes before you go find a real bed, and so this gorgeous hunk of man can get another breathing treatment.”

Ross smiled at the nurse, “Gorgeous huh?  …You better watch out …Demelza, you might have some competition!”  The nurse laughed on her way out the door.

Demelza gently ran her hand over Ross’s cheek, using her thumb to caress his lips. “I can’t wait to get you home, Ross.  I miss you so much,” she was doing her best to hold back that lump in  her throat.

“I know baby, I want to be ….home with…. you too.  I promise you…. I’m doing everything… I can to get better.  Now why don’t …….you go home and get some ……..really good sleep, and I’m going to let them………. do that wonderful breathing treatment on me.”

Demelza sighed, “Ok.  Your dad got a hotel room for me across the street with them so I can just go over there.  Drake is taking care of Seamus so we don’t have to worry about him.  I brought a change of clothes with me, so after I wake up and shower, and I’ll smell better, I’ll come back to be with you, alright?”

Ross smiled, “Sounds good.”

*************************

“Here’s your medicine, love, and a cup of water,” Joshua handed Grace her mid-day meds

“Where’s my spoonful of sugar?” Grace’s eyes had their usual morning twinkle in them.  Joshua smiled at his wife, trying not to let the worry show through.  This latest trip to London had been hard on his wife and her routine.  Plus, she was definitely getting weaker from the treatments.  He was beginning to wonder if putting the surgery off until after the wedding was a wise decision, and now Ross’s accident on top it didn't help things at all.   

“I’m going to order some room service for lunch, and after we eat, I’ll head back to the hospital,” Joshua looked at his watch, “It’s 12:00 so hopefully Demelza is fast asleep by now.  What would you like to eat for lunch?  Some pasta?  A burger and chips?  Fish and chips?”

“Mmm I think maybe a cup of soup.  Maybe a bite of fruit.” Grace was looking at the collection of scarfs on her lap, smoothing them out with her hand, trying to decide which one she felt like wearing today.  Her hair was beginning to fall out, so she was trying to get used to the idea of scarfs.  She had already ordered a wig for the wedding.  She always loved her long dark brown hair.  She kept it styled in soft waves most of the time.  Every once in a while she had thought about cutting it shorter like most women her age had done, but she would always resist the urge.  It was part of who she was.  Joshua still wrapped his fingers in the locks when they would be sitting next to each other, or during times of intimacy.  

Joshua frowned at her, “That doesn’t sound like a lot to eat darling.  You have to keep up your strength.”

Grace shook her head slightly, “Alright, I’ll have a toasted cheese sandwich as well if you insist.  I really would like to go visit with Ross today.”

“No, I don’t think that’s a good idea for either of you.  You need to stay away from hospital germs, and Ross needs to rest and stay calm so that his lungs can heal properly.  Christ, I had a hard enough time getting Demelza to leave this morning when I was over there.  She insisted on seeing him before she left.”

“Joshua, of course she wanted to see him before she left.  She loves him and wants to be there for him.  I hope you weren’t harsh with her.  Don’t forget that very soon she’s going to be your daughter-in-law,” Grace didn’t back down from scolding her husband when he needed it.  He just grumbled back to her in return.

“Alright, so room service is ordered.  Hopefully they don’t take an hour and a day to get up here,” Joshua was grumbling again while he looked out the window.

“Joshua, what the hell is wrong?  Why are you in such a grumpy mood?”

Joshua let out a sigh and crossed arms in front of him.  His forehead was filled with worry lines.  “I’m just…  I’m just tired.  I want us to be in our own home, our own bed, eating our own food.  I want you home safe and away from all of these germs.”

Grace stood up and walked over to Joshua with her hands on her hips, “We need to be here for Ross.”  She might have looked frail, but her voice showed how firm her intentions were.

Joshua turned and looked his wife in the face, “Do we really Grace?”

“Joshua Poldark of course we do!!  What the hell’s wrong with you!  Our son is laying over in the ICU in that hospital!  He’s not out of the woods yet.  We can’t leave now, what if he takes a turn for the worst, God forbid!  I’m ashamed of you!”  There was no doubt now that Grace Poldark was pissed.

Joshua turned and walked away from his wife, hands up in the air shaking his head, “For Christ’s sake Grace, I’m worried about you!  I need to take care of you!  I can’t lose you!  You are my life, the reason I get up every morning, you are the air that I breathe! My God!  Having you here is not good for you.  You catch a cold from someone in the hall of the hotel or the hospital and you could end up in the hospital, and I can’t have that my love!  Of course I care about Ross and I know that he’s not out of the woods yet, but he has Demelza to watch over him, and Dwight and Verity.”

Grace put her hand on Joshua’s arm, “Joshua, our son is in the ICU.  As long as I am breathing, I am going to be there for him.  I understand about the germs which is why I’m not pushing to go sit in his hospital room.  But I need to be close to him in case something… goes wrong,” the mother had tears in her eyes now.

Joshua pulled her in for a hug.  He got it.  He didn’t want to lose another son either, “Shhh don’t cry.  You’ll use up your energy.  Shhhh I don’t want to lose him either.  I’m just so worried about you, my sweet love.”

Grace looked up in Joshua’s eyes, “Please don’t make me go home.  Not yet.”

He leaned down and kissed her forehead, “Alright not yet.  But as soon as he’s out of ICU and is stable I’m taking you home.  Deal?”

“Deal.”

********************

And I Love Her

Written by John Lennon and Paul McCartney

I give her all my love.  That’s all I do.

And if you saw my love, you’d love her too.

I love her.

She gives me everything.

And tenderly.

The kiss my lover brings

She brings to me.

And I love her.

A love like ours

Could never die

As long as I

Have you near me

Bright are the stars that shine

Dark is the sky.

I know this of mine

Will never die

And I love her.