#but her mind is going fast now
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eevylynn · 1 year ago
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If life could just take a break and chill for a second, that'd be great.
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corpish · 1 month ago
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#on a somber note#a weird feeling I’m trying to work through these days is the feeling that my dad is actively trying to replace me#like it’s a loooooong story#but basically at the start of last year he cut off ties with me for being bi#then spent the majority of the year on a crusade to adopt/foster a young boy with the intent to ‘teach the kid the faith’#and that ‘God is calling him to adopt/foster’#then at the end of last year he and my mom were rejected from an adoption agency#for not meeting their standards of ‘unconditional’ support they look for (based on interviews across my family—which is tea)#then fast forward to like a month and half ago and my dad—through sort of a back alley way with the Department of Human Resources of AL—#began to foster a 14-yr old boy#but WITHOUT the support or buy-in of my mom or 3 of his 4 kids (including myself)#I’m skipping a lot of details but my mom changed her mind between last year and this year#and so now I’m seeing my dad post pics of him taking this 14-yr old foster kid to do things he used to do with me when I was little#like go to football games or go kayaking#meanwhile he isn’t connected with me or my boyfriend (or my little sister….another story)#but it simultaneously makes my head spin and makes me sad and makes me infuriated all at once#and it’s validating in some ways that my mom and 2 of my 3 sisters feel similarly—that he’s trying to replace me#but it doesn’t make me feel any better!!#anywho…thanks for listening
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mer-se · 3 months ago
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First time meeting the Angel of grief (at golden hour) 🍂🪽
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wildstar25 · 10 months ago
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MiqoMarch Day 23 - Midnight
With their intended voyage into the void only a few days out, Arsay thought it the upmost importance that she steal her partner away to Kugane, that they might share one more fond memory together should things not turn out the way they plan in the thirteenth. It was as they crossed the very same bridge the miqo'te had once sat on together two years prior when Arsay gifted Y'shtola with a bracelet matching that of her own. A token of endearment which, Arsay confessed, she would have given to her fellow scion back then, had nerves not gotten the best of her. While their relationship has undoubtedly changed since the initial purchase of the jewellery, the sentiment remained the same. Y'shtola was someone who Arsay loved dearly and she will forever be grateful to have the seeker's life intertwined with her own. No matter where their free spirits took them, they would always hold each other in their hearts. A promise Y'shtola was more than willing to keep. She slipped the the string of beads around her wrist without a second thought. They were never to come off, not even when the two decided to delay their return to Radz-at-Han in favour of a private bath at the dead of night.
#miqomarch#miqomarch 2024#ffxiv#y'shtola rhul#y'shtola x wol#wolshtola#arsay nun lore#arshtola#thanks to nhaneh for the body mod#i had to do some insane fov to get the moon and them in the same shot so sorry for the distortion#forcing arshtola lore into this prompt since idk when Ill ever get around to gposing the actual scene#this is between 6.1 and 6.2!#endwalker patch spoilers#i had the idea that arsay bought the Dai-ryumyaku bracelets from a vendor between 4.3 n 4.4 when shtola is off to the doman enclave#and arsay is like hey wait you should let me show you around kugane on the way over!#a fun friend date that ends with shtola finally accepting she has a crush on arsay and its terminal#and arsay having a single moment where she starts reflecting on feelings & thinks maybe she missed hanging out w/shtola more than she shoul#only to quickly butt that idea out of her head and continue being super normal#arsay notices these matching bracelets with red and purple string and shes like oh they are so cute and they look like#they belong in a pair it would be so sad if they were ever split up unexpectedly#i know ill buy them and give one to shtola wouldnt that be fun!#so she does that and then cant bring herself to give yshtola the damn thing because she starts second guessing herself#so arsay stashes the bracelets away and she started wearing hers later under her glove#fast forward to two years later and arsay finds the other one in one of her bags#and now shes dating yshtola and they are about to go somewhere super dangerous#what better time to tell your gf how much they have always meant to you#and what better way to do it than with a gift and some words spoken from the heart?#it was a little unconventional since arsay didnt really have marriage on the mind but it was a proposal in a sense#WOL posting#Arsay Nun
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opens-up-4-nobody · 10 months ago
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#i walked into a situation today where my mom was effectively already dead. effectively bc her body was and is still alive. still breathing#painful groaning purrs. but her mind was gone yesterday. my dad said he showed her a picture of the mountains i took that day and told her#i loved her and she smiled. thats what he said. maybe he was just being nice. or maybe thats the last time she thought of me. i dunno. but#the human body is an incredible thing. shes got a heart still powering a broken body. too full of tumors to function anymore. stomach#streched like a pregnant mother. it happed really fast and now its happening very slow#im somehow probably better off than the rest of them. i only got here for the aftermath of a downslide. my daily life will b least effected#i only really saw her twice a year living so far away and she didnt text much. didnt call often. so life wont change much ill just kno shes#not there. which is sad. but theres nothing to b done abt it. life goes on. it hasnt been all bad tho. its nice to talk to my family abt her#how incredible she was. bc she was. wish her mom wasnt here tho. she doesn't deserve to b here. my mom wouldnt want her here. she didnt want#her here. but anyway. i wish her body would just let her go now. so we can sleep. so this can be over. so she can rest#but even like this shes stubborn and resilient. they say it could go on for days but i hope not. may the universe let her rest shes gotta b#so tired after 10 years of this. but i have no regrets. she knew how i felt abt her. and i dont think she had regrets either. she did so#much up to the very end. went out on a high note without the burdon of knowing it was coming#i dunno. its just such a strange experience to watch the empty shell of your mother sleeping like a gurgling baby#unrelated
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ufogoo · 13 days ago
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read the art book. joplin you were bigger then the sky
#Joplin dragon age#unironically MOURNING#got the book for christmas and i#cailin and i read it and . im like so miserable about it LMAO#and the thing is i enjoyed veilguard but now. seeing Joplin. oh my god#knowing there's a whole visual novel of joplin out there. im going to lose my mind#the minrathous pages alone#matt rhodes and the art team put so much heart and DEVELOPMENT INTO IT JESUS CHRIST#and none came into fruition. im gonna go crazy#specifically the blood stealer magister and the enslaved giants taxi COME ONNNN#and Most Importantly IMSHAEL. IMSHAEL. I NEED IMSHAEL SO BAD IM GOING INSANE !!!!#id drop lucanis so fast im sorry king but i need imshael. ughh AGHHH!!!#and the solas blood ritual. biggest blood ritual since the creation of the veil are you KIDDING ME.#TRICKING THE ANTAAM AND TEVINTER MAGISTERS INTO OPEN WAE TO FUEL A SPELL ARE U KIDDING ME#AND REVA!!!!! COME ONNN#and also. having xenons island oh my god#im sorry but i dont care about your fuckass porridge s/olas i dont care about how pathetic and 'misunderstood' you are#GIVE ME MY VEIL WHALE. MY SUBMARINE. AGHHHH!!!!#i hate you lighthouse i hate you so much#ALSO THE RANDOM NAME DROP OF THE TAL VASHOTH COMPANION AT THE END THEY CUT RIGJT BEFORE LAUNCH#WHO WAS THAT???#im so mad and insane about it all#god and the dreamers#and solas being the actual dread wolf doing things god. GODDDD#and also calpernia.... i wouldve loved to see her. PLEAse I WOULD'VE LOVED IT. have her coexist with neve pleaaaaseeee#also taash being former antaam who you free then betrays you later wouldve been so good. oh my god. so much better#datv spoilers
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freakinator · 2 months ago
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If you don’t mind, I’m gonna yap for a second.. I think another problem with Kab is how sudden the turn around was. Like in the first convo where Kab was acting “evil”, Zam fought back with the argument that she’s wasn’t really evil at all and I think he did believe that at least a little. And if Kab slowly began to turn her path around then he would be a bit more trusting cause he would have SEEN her actual emotional growth but the turn around was so fast, it feels like there was no emotional growth at all and that Kab is still the same as before, cause she basically is. She still wants Mane dead no matter the cost and she’s still, intentionally or not, trying to manipulate Zam, but she wants to be treated as if she’s had that whole long term emotional growth
yeah ii think this is where her majority experience with short-term smps really bit her in the ass, i think there are two main directions that other ppl take it tho: 1. is as what you speculate in that some ppl think that she hasnt had genuine growth and hasnt changed at all and 2. that she genuinely changes too quickly and is therefore unreliable regardless of if shes being honest or not
i think the reason zam was so receptive to her in silent scream was cause this has been a recurrent plot point for a couple streams now, kab trespassing zams base to yap while zam tries to decipher her wants and motivations until eventually she just let it all out and in that instance i think he did genuinely believed that she changed even if it was slowly/just a little bit
....but then die for you happened lol
ssee the thing about kab is that shes shes all-or-nothing, going from one extreme to the next after just a little bit of change in character which can be jarring to some ppl to say the least (unless you thought she was lying and therefore any character development shouldnt be believed i suppose) but is something that was a great asset in shorter and arena-based smps where you had to get as much advantage against your opponent as possible without having to worry about the long-term consequences of these actions ie them not trusting you while still having to interact often in mundane ways even after messing with them. while she Can be swayed this only really works with things she was already unsure of which while a great motivator and trait to keep her on track with her goals (again another great trait for short-term smps), can be really jarring and distressing for other ppl if the things she was absolutely sure about goes against their own perspective like for example her thinking that derapchu killing her constitutes zam getting payback for her as the protector of the server (The protector, not A protector like zam insists, The protector of the server)
i think shes far too used to the fast-paced instant acceptance of changed personality in arena smps that is a natural consequence of them being short-term and having a revolving door of members and teams which is why she expects ppl to accept her growth and efforts so quickly even if realistically nobody would hand over their trust that easily esp after essentially being harassed in their own home multiple times, like even in normal smps where theres a baseline amount of trust ppl still wouldnt trust you after doing that, what more in a server like lifesteal where general trust is low basically all the time?
#mine.ask#Anonymous#i wrote most of this at like 2 am cause i couldnt sleep so i hope this is understandable lol#like. kabs actions are logical sure but its one extreme to the next#even zam takes at least a couple weeks before changing into something opposite than he was#and hes one of if not the most fickle ppl on the server#like. idk. ive noticed from tge beginning that kabs lore is pretty fast-paced compared to everyone else#but after she got fixated on zam it increased by a lot i feel#like hating him one moment then loving him the next#like damn girl is he your fp /j#but yeah a lot of things kab does can be explained away by the fact that shes never really had to deal with the long-term consequences#of fucking with someone#whether it be because of the fact the smps she was in were short ones or cause clown was there to get rid of her opps#and like. in a regular smp maybe ppl would believe her more#but this is ls where all the players are accutely aware of the fact that trusting the wrong ppl could get them killed or worse#and kab not only has an untrustworthy rep thanks to money smp (that she was was proudly flaunting)(also derap is here)#but her still continuing to lie and manipulate ppl does not make ppl want to give her the necessary baseline trust#that would constitute believing in her whenever she changes her mind/direction#and unfortunately for her; now that shes been established as untrustworthy on lifesteal itself#(compare her rep to wemmbu whos rep comes from non-ls smps and is proudly trustworthy and loyal on ls itself)#that baseline trust is gonna be really difficult to go against#i was gonna give spoke as an example but then remembered he manipulated pbaj during the election arc lmao#but uh yeah reputation is really important on ls whether the players like it or not and kabs rep is unfortunately not the best#like bruh zam thinks shes less trustworthy than Spoke#do you have any idea how untrustwortthy someone would feel you are to get that low on the trustworthiness tier???#like damn it hasnt even been a full season yet
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theheadlessgroom · 3 months ago
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@beatingheart-bride
I am?
These two words, this simple little question, very nearly came out of Susannah's mouth before she stopped herself, reminding herself of Philippe's sincere nature. This was a man who would never lie to her, least of all about her appearance, and so she allowed herself to be flattered in that moment, cheeks turning a soft pink as she replied, "Th-Thank you, Philippe. You..y-you look v-very handsome!"
Not about to let him linger out on her front porch all night, she was quick to sweep him inside and into her little kitchen, where she had everything laid out, ready and waiting for them. She was also pleasantly surprised by the strawberry-creme bonbons he'd procured for them; they would make a wonderful dessert to cap off tonight's dinner.
"I-I...I have something for you too!"
Before they sat down to their meal (she would've liked to have just dug in, but perhaps giving him this gift would mitigate some of the butterflies in her stomach and let her actually enjoy dinner), Susannah hustled out of the room, only to then return with a small box-not ornately wrapped or even particularly eye-catching...unlike what was inside.
It was a hand-knitted sweater, made in a beautiful sky-blue yarn, laced with delicate honeycomb and blackberry patterns, very similar to the one Wilhelmina Pace knitted for her future husband many years ago (the only difference being was that the one she made was a soft buttercup yellow; Susannah had it tucked away in the cedar chest upstairs, along with many other heirlooms). It would be plenty warm to wear, once the cold snap eventually settled in.
"I-It's an Aran sweater," she explained shyly, her heart pounding in her chest as she watched him open it, on pins and needles, waiting for his reaction, wondering nervously all the while: Will he like it?
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blazingblorbos · 1 year ago
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We (the Trailblazer) fall so in love with Firefly during the Penacony story, don't we...
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I thought the photo montage in the Sweet Dreams Preview was a lot...
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I was fucking wrong, they upstaged it IMMEDIATELY
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arolesbianism · 5 months ago
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Doodle of my boy
#keese draws#eternal gales#oc art#oc#fydd <3333333333#he is my bestie I need to get over my fear of drawing him so bad#grips bathroom sink I Will get better at drawing for fun and letting my art be messy and being proud of it anyways#but yeah look at him he is so cute and is so silly and he’s never gone through any traumatic events ever I would never#<- lying lier who lies and loves tormenting it’s ocs#but yeah he’s half alien half human but was raised entirely by his human mom#his alien mom is alas stuck in the cult the two met at rip#fydd doesn’t know abt any of that tho he just knows that he has another mom that his mom doesn’t like talking abt#he loves playing games of all kind but especially loves video games and will play them for hours#not that he has much else to do since he’s spent pretty much his entire life living by a garbage dump in the middle of nowhere#and he’s not allowed to go fuck around in the dump much since his mom doesn’t want him to be seen so he’s stuck at home most of the time#thankfully now he has an adopted sister to play with but he still has viddy game autism#his mom has done her best to introduce him to the various cultures she and his other mom came from but she struggles with it#she was quite disconnected from her own culture growing up and she knows limited amount about her girlfriends home planet#fydd doesn’t mind much rn cause he’s 12 but a certain other older fydd might care a smidge more#fydd does like 60% know both japanese and spanish tho so that’s pretty cool#his mom tried to do regular lessons when he was younger but wasn’t able to keep them up consistently and eventually gave up#mostly because she wasn’t anywhere near fluent in either herself and she had a hard time keeping up with how fast fydd would pick up on it#they still have some books from back then laying around that fydd will pick up and read aloud when he’s bored sometimes#he gets bored of speaking english all the time as his brain is built to pick apart different sounds and assign them linguistic meaning#so reading and speaking different languages is good enrichment for him#his mom doesn’t know this unfortunately otherwise she totally would have gotten him more stuff in different languages to chew on#he does get to learn the language the stalien cast speaks tho he has a lot of fun with that#he alas can’t properly experience most stalien video games though rip#I should rly get to redesigning his human mom again at some point she needs it sooo bad#I mean her whole squad needs it but she’s my favorite so like
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mothbeasts · 1 year ago
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ok since you're the fabby expert riddle me this bc i've been thinking abt this all day for some reason. what do u think like. her childhood/young adulthood was like. i rotate her in my head all the time but it is SO difficult to think abt her outside of the state she's currently in now. i know she didn't spawn upon this earth like that. but that's the only way i can picture it so i need insider intel on this subject
SO glad you asked because i think about this extensively. disclaimer that this probably does not line up with Actual Canon it's just my fun little version of events that happens in my brain.
With that out of the way. What was younger fabby like?
For starters. she was 100% a theater kid and finds it embarrassing as an adult. But you cannot stop being a theater kid. Ever.
Honestly. I feel like she was fairly normal as a kid. Maybe a bit TOO interested in morbid things like poison and murder but honestly. That feels Normal. She would've been the kind of kid who like enacted the strangest scenarios and drama with dolls I think.
Things get interesting at around her young adult era. See, in my mind, a lot of her issues started at around that time. Her general constant stress and poor sleep schedule were Definitely worse when she started university. But she powered through (mostly on spite) to get her engineering degree anyways. And then got a job with Zoraxis. Which in no way helped anything ever. In my mind she also got a minor in an art field - not entirely sure what but that's just how I imagine it going. Probably something fashion related, if we wanna take that watch poster into account.
Another thing in my mind is that she was far more reserved in. i wanna say the late teens-early 20s range. Quiet, not really drawing attention. Very absorbed in her studies. Her turn towards evil science was kind of simultaneous with her becoming more like the Fabricator we see in the games; by the time she's gotten a cozy spot near the top of Zoraxis, she's got her act perfected. But the perfect evil science persona DOES take time to craft and that wasn't really the direction she had intended to go at first. She started off just wanting to go into normal engineering or something. Even into her early days with Zoraxis, she was a bit eccentric perhaps but not quite at evil science level for some time.
I think her interest in poisons and such started to take a turn for the worse when she got access to university level chemistry labs. And then her engineering education obviously went towards murder.
The summary is she was honestly Pretty Normal in my mind up until she started working for Zoraxis. After that she realized she actually thinks the whole evil thing is fun and she wants in on it.
HONORARY OTHER HEADCANON MENTION: I tend to draw her with a prosthetic arm. Why, you ask? Lab Incident. She accidentally blew herself up really bad. This happened shortly after the start of her career at Zoraxis.
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feralattentionwhore · 1 year ago
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Dreaming about that second when they first push in. It hurts so good and it's so easy to get overwhelmed not knowing if I want it to stop or never end
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bakingmoomins · 1 year ago
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so i just became insanely emotionally attached to a pair of caterpillars
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collecting--stardust · 1 year ago
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Guess who's spending Eid away from home again next year lol
#me bitch#i havent went home for eid for 2 years and if you count next year then make it 3#so fyi first day of eid is estimated to be on the 10 of april 2024 which is Wednesday#so my classmates estimate that the classes on monday and tuesday will be online so they started to buy the tickets on Friday (5/4)#or during the weekend basically because yknow festive season = expensive tickets#and i told it to my friend and she chekced the ticket to go to kl and its only 200+ (official app) or 100+ (travel company) on 6/4 at 5am#so she asked me if i want to buy it so we can share transport to airport together and be in the same flight#so i called mom just now but since i need to take the transit to ny hometown it racks up to rm800+ 💀#totalled with the flights back to uni on sunday (14/4) it will be up to rm1600+ 💀#mom sound sorry and even said she can pay if i really want to go back home#but yknow i dont want to burden my parents more (they are the one who usually pay for my flights anyway)#and my friend who lives in the same state as me also doesnt seem to be able to afford the expensive tickets too#so its just me and her in the perantauan again ig lol#but my friend who lives here said to just celebrate eid with her and we can sleep in her room 😂#tbh i dont really mind not going back because as i get older the excitement for eid lessen idk#but i kinda miss the bersalam on the morning of eid with my family so yeah#and if i were to graduate and start working which i cant imagine ngl then i wont be home much anyway#whatever at least i get to fast at home for a week so theres still some W to celebrate#personal.txt
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t-u-i-t-c · 1 year ago
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chapter xlvii
#kr saber lb#kr lb#umbrella.thoughts#umbrella.posts#the way kento was taking care of the store for touma...#the way he ran so fast to hug him when he returned#the way he was all smiles as soon as touma reached him#but of course he has to be wearing those pants just can't let them go can they#i think storious was wrapped up well i mean he saw them create a new story which was what he needed to get clarity#every megid death ended with them seeing what they wanted before passing on#once they pass on they seem to lose the immense anger they had so it seems that they were all distorted by the books power and they're#really a bit more level-headed now#i like that we get to see storious recall sharing his work with people and that it had meant something to him to though i still feel#he got buried in his despair and lost sight of how stories affect others and his relationships with others and not just him personally#it may have been a little fast but i've seen a lot of final villains and i really like storious' story#also just love everyone i don't think there was any character i really disliked throughout#with reika she made me mad but she was supposed to and she came around although it took a bit#i like her and i like how committed she is to her duty and i love her fight scenes#daishinji ryo and sophia felt like elders so i don't mind them not developing too much bc they feel like they have already grown into#the people that they are meant to be although they do develop a bit more here and there#yuri felt more like a guide for touma and i think he fit his role well while also evolving past his outdated ideas of what a swordsman is#ryoga was not developed too much but with the elders he felt like he knew who he was but for him there was development more in his#willingness to listen and work with others while also dealing with the issues of the guild and looking out for reika#he may not be very open but he has his own strong convictions and he is slowly starting to open up but just starting#rintaro and mei had a lot of good development though i do feel rintaro's stuff came across a bit much at times but in the end he became#a character who chooses to believe in himself and not run away while also protecting those around him when he used to stick to the rules#completely though he still does follow rules he does more of what is right than what is allowed#mei was an observer most of the time although she was also entrusted with tools that were important for the storyline such as the book#i love characters who don't transform and offer support when needed#mei was always expressing belief in the swordsman and offered a lot of help to them
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hiddenbeks · 1 year ago
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u ever just. think abt ur warden and the decisions u made in dao and realize they would not make some of the decisions you made. and then u have to replay the game all over again just to do that one (1) thing differently
#must stay!! true to the character!!!#oc: andrale#yknow. in every playthru after my very first one years ago i've made alistair rule together with anora#bc i believe its the best outcome for like ferelden as a whole. with anora's experience and alistair's compassion etc etc#but i dont think andrale cares whats best for ferelden lol. esp if it's at the cost of her loved ones' happiness#they have a rocky start but alistair and andrale are fast friends by the end!!#and if he doesnt wanna be king shes not gonna make him!! and anora seems competent enough to her#so the idea of the two marrying as a political power move doesnt even cross her mind actually#ALSO i've never done it before bc obliterating loghain with my rogue is just too fun. but i think andrale would let alistair duel him#since its more personal for him. andrale thinks he deserves a little revenge. as a treat#hhhhh now im also thinking abt all the other questlines and What Andrale Would Actually Do#in a paragon of her kind i always play both sides and then betray harrowmont for Maximum Profit. but would andrale do that?????#i feel like she wouldnt waste time with that she would simply do whatever gets her the troops faster. she is a mostly honest person#would she broker peace between zathrian's clan n the werewolves?? or would she be like idc go off zathrian????#like. she has elgar'nan's vallaslin... mostly bc i think it looks cool but since elgar'nan is the god of vengeance...#maybe andrale does have a vengeful streak..... so much so that she believes zathrian's actions are good and justified.. hmm. idk#anyway. thinking thoughts abt my specialest babygirl warden. i love her :)
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