#and they could use this to get a restraining order

[icarusflewsworld]

Rhysand & Cassian & Azriel X OC

Hello, here is the chapter 9 of a fanfiction on the world of Acotar where our three favorite Batboys are the mates of a single woman.

I hope you like it! Please feel free to comment and telling me what you think of the story, it would make me very happy. In any case, thank you for reading ❤️❤️

! Don't forget to read the previous chapters ! : Here

Happy reading!

Chapter 9

“Hey, what are you doing,” Feyre asked worriedly as she walked around the table to follow them, ready to defend her best friend.

Azriel growled, being the only thing he could do, still filled with anger and jealousy that burned in his chest. He continued to pull Luxiana who followed him, laughing softly and trying not to lose balance and fell. Azriel had the logical thought to tell himself that she really had no survival instinct to laugh as she was dragged by three faes into another room.

Cassian didn't even turn around to Feyre who was following them to tell her coldly, "This is something between her and us. It doesn't concern you."

"Rhysand," Tamlin called out in a threatening voice, glaring at the other high lord and joining Feyre.

The three Illyrians froze stiffly at the sound of their enemy's voice, stopping in the hall, a few steps ahead of Feyre, Tamlin, and everyone else.

Rhysand grimaced in a mixture of disgust and anger. He was facing Luxiana who watched this reaction with a tilted head. Feeling the blonde's eyes on him, he looked down at her and instantly calmed down. "We're just going to talk."

They all three started moving again and so Azriel started pulling Luxiana. "It'll be okay Feyfey, don't worry, they just want to talk." She threw a mischievous and hilarious look at Feyre who gave her a jaded look back.

Feyre knew her best friend could defend herself, but she doubted her ability to overpower the Lord of the Night Court if he was as powerful as Lucien and Tamlin said.

They all stood frozen in the hall as the three Illyrians entered an adjacent room, throwing the door open abruptly.

"Hey, this isn't your place, where do you think you are going?" Nesta cursed as she took a step towards them but was stopped by Feyre who motioned her head to her, silently telling her not to go. She didn't want her sister to get into trouble unlike Luxiana who knew very well how to defend herself.

The three Illyrians paid no attention to Nesta's reflection, far too consumed by anger for Luxiana and her unknown man. Azriel pulled Luxiana inside what looked like a living room with two sofas on either side of a small table. He abruptly placed her in front of him, while Cassian slammed the door behind them to close it.

Azriel glanced at Rhysand to confirm that he had indeed erected a sound shield around them so that no one could hear the discussion. Rhysand nodded, silently assuring him that he could speak freely.

Luxiana looked them over one by one with a smile on her lips. She was eager to see what they had to say to her and why they had reacted like that. It was full of mystery and she loved it. "You wanted to talk to me?" she pointed out in a confident voice, not even a little intimidated, or at least not that she showed it.

Azriel barely waited for her to finish her sentence, which he hadn't even heard, to grab her chin with his free hand, digging his index finger and thumb into each of her cheeks. He lifted her head and pulled her towards him, sticking her to his chest. "Who the fuck is Kayden?"

"Az," Rhysand called out. He wanted to order him to let her go and calm down, but the truth was that he was in the same state as him. As them. They were now one with his brothers, and they could feel how jealous Cassian was, how angry Azriel was, and how hurt he was by her seeing another man. He knew because they all three felt the same way now.

Luxiana's eyebrows twitched for a second, restraining herself from frowning. What was that question? Why was he asking her that? Had he brought her here for this? It didn't make sense. She tried to back away and get out of Azriel's grip but he tightened his grip on her cheeks and arm, pulling her closer to him again.

"You better not hurt her," Cassian warns, glaring at Azriel and placing his hand on his bicep to try to make him let her go.

Luxiana frowned uncontrollably this time. He wasn't hurting her. He looked mad with rage at her, for some reason she didn't know -the veins in his eyes were bursting and his temples were pounding fiercely- but despite that, he wasn't hurting her even though he looked like he wanted to kill someone. It was cute. "I barely feel it," she replied with a smirk at Cassian.

Cassian raised an eyebrow in surprise before finally smiling in turn, reassured and adoring her behavior.

"Who is it?" Azriel repeated more firmly, throwing an insistent and furious glance at Luxiana. His teeth were clenched so tightly that it hurt, but when she smiled, he was completely destabilized, especially when her fingers dug into his dimples. And he almost couldn't look away from her red lips that she wore so well.

"Why do you care?" she replied suspiciously, narrowing her eyes to take in each of their reactions.

Rhysand closed his eyes, concentrating on trying to compartmentalize his and his brothers' emotions as waves of anger and arousal at Luxiana's provocation crashed over him. Over them. Of course, he was dying for that answer too, but the way she was behaving around them was turning him on far too much. Far less than it was turning Cassian on, though.

Cassian, feeling the wave of anger turning Azriel from the inside -and him and Rhys at the same time-, did not decide to wait for his brother's reaction to push him and force him to release Luxiana.

Azriel had growled and was going to insist on making her spill the beans but Cassian pushed him, forcing him to release her so as not to hurt her. But he would never hurt her. He moved away a few steps, forced by Cassian, to whom he threw a dark look.

Rhysand leaned against the door with his hands in his pockets, trying to appear calmer and more confident than he was. “We just want to know who this man is.”

Luxiana still had her eyes narrowed as she looked at Rhysand. She crossed her arms. "I repeat myself, but what does that matter to you?"

Azriel almost jumped as he shouted, "You are not allowed to see another man." His eyes widened as he realized what he had just said, but he didn't calm down, his furious expression returning. He ignored the dark looks from his two brothers to focus on Luxiana. He just wanted that damn answer.

Luxiana flinched, surprised by his words before bursting out laughing. She didn't understand a word they were saying. "I beg your pardon?" she laughed.

Rhysand gritted his teeth as he closed his eyes, grabbing the bridge of his nose and then opening them to look Luxiana. "What he means by that," he tried to correct as he had an idea, "is that you're not allowed to see anyone while we were meeting the queens."

Luxiana laughed even harder "But what does that have to do with that?"

"It seems that you could have betrayed the secret of this meeting or its importance," Rhysand said, trying to sound wary of Luxiana, but he couldn't hide his bright eyes as he admired her. She was so beautiful when she laughed. "You could have defeated the purpose of the meeting."

Luxiana instantly calmed down, stopping laughing, widening her eyes. Everything cleared up in her head. That was why they were so angry. "I didn't betray the secret of this meeting. I didn't tell anyone about it." She assured, trying to sound as sincere as possible although her voice came out louder than expected, a little offended by these accusations.

Azriel narrowed his eyes, first surprised and then startled. "You're lying," he pointed out.

His two brothers turned a shocked look towards him before giving an equally startled one to Luxiana who had widened her eyes.

The blonde took a step back. How in the hell had he known she was lying? There was no way. She crossed her arms, putting on her angry expression. Either it was a bluff, or he thought she was so stupid or untrustworthy that they were convinced she had betrayed them. “No, I’m not lying!”

Azriel let out a guttural sound, clenching his fists. “You’re lying again.” His breathing was rapid, his eyes burning.

Luxiana was startled. How did he do that?? "How did you..."

"Did you tell anyone about this meeting?" Rhysand exclaimed in shock, standing up from the door, interrupting Luxiana. She had betrayed them? Wasn't that possible? Not his soulmate. He couldn't breathe anymore.

"Whose?" Cassian added as he took a step towards her with wide eyes still shocked. "Do you know how stupid this is?! Not only could you have jeopardized this meeting and ruined everything, but you could have put yourself in danger too!" His stomach gave him the impression to explode, someone could try to kidnap her to get information about this meeting.

"To whom did you tell about it?" Rhysand repeated as he moved closer to her.

Luxiana huffed, rolling her eyes. They were strong, the bastards. "I only told Kayden, and trust me, he's not going to tell anyone." She locked eyes with Azriel, "and that's the truth."

Just when she thought it would calm them down, their gazes flared with anger.

Cassian spun around, seething with anger, his wings contracting. He threw his hands up to the ceiling. "Who the fuck is that guy??" He yelled, turning back to his soulmate, his gaze filled with rage. "Take us to him!"

"Yes, do that," Azriel managed to say, shaking with anger. He closed his eyes, tilting his head left and right to stretch his neck. A smile emerged on his lips at the images of all the horrible things he was going to do to that Kayden.

Rhysand huffed, his heart breaking and his eyes burning. This man must have meant so much to his soulmate if she had decided to tell him everything. "Who is this man to you?" he asked, his voice intended to be firm but sounding almost as desperate as he was. He cleared his throat at Luxiana's frown, trying not to let it show. "I mean, can we trust him?"

Luxiana looked at them one by one, trying to see through them. Then she sighed. She was really going to answer them when normally she would have beaten people up for less. What were these faes doing to her? They were downright sexy. "He won't tell anyone, trust me. He's just my boss." She glanced at Azriel, making sure he didn't detect half the lie.

The latter narrowed his eyes.

“He’s my boss!” she repeated insistently, seeing Azriel’s expression. And it was true. Today, he was just her boss and nothing else.

“Is she telling the truth?” Cassian asked his brother.

Rhysand also looked at Azriel hopefully, praying for a positive response.

Azriel analyzed his soulmate then gradually relaxed. She was telling the truth. She seemed to be hiding something but this Kayden was really her boss. He nodded.

The three Illyrians relaxed with such power that they almost fainted. She was not intimate with that man. She did not love another man. They were not going to have to torture a stranger. They relaxed.

Cassian ran his hands through his hair, loosening his high bun a little. His muscles relaxed.

Rhysand took a deep breath and blew out all the air, closing his eyes fiercely.

Azriel's legs nearly gave up under the weight that left his shoulders. He ran his hands over his face.

Luxiana detailed their reactions one by one, finding them very strangely relieved. They didn't trust her to believe that she had betrayed them but they trusted her enough to truly believe that Kayden wouldn't say anything about their meeting with the queens. It was so strange. They seemed to be hiding something.

"Why did you tell him?" Azriel asked coldly, more calmly, hoping for an answer that would not displease him.

“Because he’s my boss, and when Feyre came back, I wasn’t at work that afternoon and…” She bit her tongue. Why was she telling them all this? She huffed through gritted teeth, speaking carefully as she eyed Azriel warily. “I just snapped. I burst into tears when I saw him after everything Feyre had told me and everything that had happened to her. He needed an explanation and I needed someone to talk to, that’s all.” She shrugged.

Azriel relaxed a little more, noticing her pure sincerity this time, relaxing his two brothers at the same time, making them understand that she was telling the truth. That said, it saddened them to know that their soulmate had not been able to count on them to comfort her at that time.

"But I promise you he won't tell anyone. He promised me and I believe him. He never revealed anything I told him and he doesn't talk to many people anyway." she assured with a truly apologetic look on her face.

They didn't care if this man could tell someone about this meeting, they had the book but what worried them was that someone could attack her for information. But her guilty look melted the hearts of the three Illyrians. She was so cute. She was beautiful.

Cassian then realized something, frowning suspiciously. "What kind of job do you have that requires you to look this good?" He pointed at her fully, gesturing at her dress and face. "Since you were apparently with your boss this afternoon, that means you were working, right?"

Luxiana's gaze began to shine with pride. She raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms and pursing her lips to keep from laughing. "So you're implying that you find me beautiful?" She leaned forward towards Cassian, to closely examine his expression and make sure he wouldn't lie in his answer.

Cassian smirked, returning her smile. He raised his hand to her, brushing his fingertips over her plump cheek, shivering softly at the touch of her skin. She was so soft. He grabbed a strand of her hair that hung over her face and wrapped it around his finger, shivering once more. Her hair was so fucking silky. He tucked the strand of hair behind her ear. “I’m not implying anything, I’m shouting it out loud, you’re beautiful, Luxiana.” Damn, his soulmate’s name sounded so right, spoken through his lips.

Luxiana's face changed completely. Her confidence slipped to surprise and then realization. She straightened up slowly, her cheeks and ears heating. "Oh," she said simply, looking away, unable to keep her eyes fixed on Cassian's intense pupils that made her chest tremble. She pursed her lips but to avoid cursing herself out loud this time. Since when did she blush that much at someone's compliment? This was new.

“And you’re so much cuter when you blush,” Rhysand added, eyeing her up tenderly.

Of course, the comment from the Lord of the Night Court only made her feel more uncomfortable, making her blush a little more. It wasn't supposed to please her so much to receive this kind of compliment, yet the fact that it came from these three faes tickled her all over. She glanced suspiciously at Rhysand, wondering why they were telling her all these nice things and why they weren't angry anymore when she had betrayed them anyway and had told someone about this meeting with the queens.

"Every expression she makes makes her cute anyway." Azriel added, crossing his arms and eyeing her up in the same way Rhys did. He also had Cassian's smirk. What he had just said was the truth, but he admitted he said it out loud to make her blush even more. Which happened to the delight of the three brothers.

Luxiana's heart was beating wildly in her chest and she could feel her entire face heating up. A sort of guttural noise of irritation escaped her as she glared at the three Illyrians who had caused her this discomfort. All three were looking at her with bright eyes and smiles and she was convinced it was because they were mocking her. "If that was all you had to say to me, then this discussion is over." She started almost running towards the exit but Rhysand gently grabbed her wrist as she tried to step around him.

“Wait, stay, we’re not done,” he pleaded softly. “You avoided the question again. We’d like an answer.”

Luxiana played the innocent card knowing full well what he was talking about. Those faes surely wouldn't like to know what she did for work. She shrugged. "I don't know what you're talking about."

“Where do you work?” Azriel repeated harshly.

She glanced at him sideways, smiling innocently. "In a bar." And it was true. At least, in part. After all, the question hadn't been what she did for a living, but where she worked at, and her boss had set up in a bar. It was the perfect place to gather information, and people felt safe asking Kayden for favors there.

“Are you a waitress or something like that?” Cassian asked, staring at her.

“Something like that,” she replied in the same falsely innocent way.

And the three Illyrians said nothing more, settling for that answer, thinking she was a waitress or a bartender, at most. He didn't really like the idea that their soulmate worked with drunk men but it explained why she had to go out late last time and that she disappeared the whole night.

“I see,” Azriel breathed, looking down, then looking back up at Luxiana with a determined look. “You have to stop.”

“Excuse me?” Luxiana cried, turning to face Azriel.

"Az," Rhysand reprimanded in thought, giving him a menacing look.

Azriel gave him back his air, continuing the discussion in their heads. "You refuse to let her come with us until the threat of Hybern has passed, very well, I can understand, but there is no way she is going to be around this bar and especially this Kayden for a second longer. Imagine all the things that could happen to her. It's far too dangerous."

"For once I agree with Az," Cassian added through the same link with a serious face that didn't quite match him.

A silence had settled in front of Luxiana who was looking at the three Illyrians and who understood from their changing faces and the looks they threw at each other that they were having a secret conversation. It was quite impressive and much too secret for her. She didn't like it very much.

Rhysand huffed. "Kayden is her boss, you heard her, they are not intimate. We have nothing to fear on that side and she apparently is used to working in this bar, nothing ever happens to her, there is no reason for her to end up hurt now. And I prefer to have her here, far from the danger we represent for her than close to us. At least, until Hybern threatens us."

“But…” Cassian tried before being interrupted by Rhys.

"It's over. And you know I'm right."

Azriel growled and walked towards Luxiana. He pointed at her once he got in front of her. “Just watch yourself. Be careful.”

Luxiana narrowed her eyes. Those three were really weird. She nodded and then turned around, blowing her hair near Azriel's nose and sending a whiff of her vanilla perfume into his nostrils. He took a deep breath as he closed his eyes, his entire body tickling. What was this woman doing to him?

Luxiana stepped around Rhys to open the door. She rushed into the hall followed by Rhysand, Cassian and Azriel while everyone looked at them strangely, wondering what they could have said to each other.

“Well,” Tamlin wasted no time seeing his wife’s best friend return safely. He took Feyre’s hand. “We can go now.”

Feyre wanted to protest as Tamlin pulled her towards the front door but Luxiana slid lightly towards Tamlin, positioning herself on his other side and grabbing the high lord of the spring court free hand with both of hers. Tamlin froze, looking down at her with a wide gaze.

Everyone gave Luxiana a surprised and wide-eyed look.

The eyes of the three Illyrians were almost going to fall to the ground. What the hell was going on? One of Azriel's eyelids began to jump nervously, Cassian's wings contracted and relaxed in time with all the muscles in his body, including his heart which was now beating randomly, and Rhysand was at two fucking fingers away from releasing his power and destroying everything for five miles around.

The Lord of the Night Court was actually going to say something, or rather threaten Tamlin with destroying everything he had if he didn't move away from his soulmate, but Luxiana spoke.

"Okay let's go" she smiled with all her teeth at Tamlin. Her smile was fake without a doubt, it really disgusted her to have to smile at this idiot and have to touch him but she had promised herself when she made her decision that she would make an effort for Feyre and that was what she was doing.

“Excuse me?” Tamlin scream in response.

“Excuse me?” Rhysand repeated in a voice filled with uncertainty as he eyed Luxiana with fear.

“Huh?” Cassian cried at the same time, his face still paralyzed with surprise.

“I don’t think I heard you right,” Azriel spat coldly with a wild look.

Luxiana gave them another puzzled look. They were really weird. She shook her head. It didn't matter, it wasn't about them, it was about Feyre. She looked back at her, letting go of Tamlin and putting on a serious face. "I'm coming with you. I won't leave you alone anymore."

"What?" Feyre exclaimed, breathing quickly. She glanced at her two sisters who remained in the corner of the room. She would love for her best friend to join her, she even dreamed of it, but then who will protect her sisters.

Luxiana caught Feyre's gaze and understood. She gave her a reassuring smile. "I asked Kayden and Josher to watch over them. They'll be fine. I won't leave you alone anymore. Not with this war brewing."

Feyre's eyes filled with hope. "But you can't leave your whole life, everyone you love, for me."

Luxiana smiled softly. “You’re the most important one of it, Feyre. I owe you my life, you know that.”

The three Illyrians barely heard the conversation. What had happened between the two girls?

"That's not true, stop with that, it was..." she tried before being interrupted by her best friend who was laughing softly. Feyre stopped to stare at her. Then she smiled with all her teeth, her heart swelling with joy. Luxiana had already made her decision and she knew that nothing could ever change her best friend's mind. She then raised a bright look of hope and joy to Tamlin, even making her hand tremble in her future husband's.

“No way,” the blond said, eyeing the two women beside him. He loved Feyre, but he hated her best friend. She was a pain in the ass, and there was no way he was going to live with her twenty-four hours a day.

"No fucking way," Rhysand almost shouted at the same time from where he stood, still shocked.

Everyone glanced at her but Luxiana didn't calculate Rhysand's words, ignoring him completely, making the three Illyrians rage. They really couldn't believe it. Was their soulmate really asking their worst enemy to go live with him?????

“Please. I’ll make myself small, you won’t even know I’m here. Besides, I’ll just have to make sure Feyre is happy and okay. If she is, I’ll leave,” she pleaded in a way that surprised Tamlin.

She had never spoken to him so kindly. He narrowed his eyes as he studied her. Then he blew out a breath through gritted teeth, remembering that she had already crossed the wall and its defenses once to look for Feyre and that she could do it again if she wanted. He looked down at Feyre who implored him with her eyes and the joy shining in his wife's pupils got the better of him. He blew out one more time. "Good."

Feyre's eyes widened and she jumped in joy. She kissed Tamlin's cheek in thanks then jumped into her best friend's arms who gave her a hug. Their laughter echoed through the hall making Nesta roll her eyes.

“There’s no fucking world where that happens,” Azriel laughed falsely, almost like a psychopath.

The girls stopped laughing, splitting up to stare in confusion at the three Illyrians who were white as sheets and looked like they were living a real nightmare.

"But what's wrong with you? What's between you and Luxiana?" Lucien asked, looking at them strangely.

“Take his name out of your fucking mouth,” Cassian spat disdainfully.

"You're already very lucky that I haven't ripped off your skin and tongue yet, you dirty carrot, don't you dare get involved in this or approach Luxiana." Azriel shouted, barely breathing, as he moved wickedly closer to Lucien.

Tamlin growled, ready to lunge at them.

Rhysand held back his power with all his might from exploding so hard he felt like he was going to implode. He wanted to kill them. He swore he wanted to kill them all but there was so much more at stake right now. His soulmate couldn't be afraid of him, of them, he refused to. And as much as it killed him to admit it, in Tamlin's court, she would be safer than here and in fact even safer than near him. No one would attack her to get to Tamlin. It was a good compromise despite himself, even if it tore his chest in two to admit it. It even made him tremble with fear to know she was in Tamlin's hands, especially if he were to learn that she was his soulmate but Tamlin would not hurt her. Not as long as he loved Feyre. He took a deep breath and tried to explain all this to Cassian and Azriel minds, to reason with them and calm them down.

Which didn't work at all. Both of them turned to him with a mixture of rage and surprise. How could either one of them agree to accept this??

"Let's not put her in unnecessary danger," Rhysand added in thought.

“She’s our soulmate!” Cassian shouted inside his two brothers’ heads. “She’s bound to us, she will be in danger at some point.”

Rhysand gritted his teeth as he barely saw his two brothers eyeing him up as if they were looking at an alien. "You're right, so let's first make sure she's our soulmate with the Suriel and if she is, then we'll go get her even if she's at the Spring Court. In the meantime, we need to let her go with Feyre, we mustn't hurt her or scare her."

“She’s our soulmate too,” Azriel spat, glaring at him. “We have just as much right to decide as you do.”

"Maybe, but I'm still your high lord," he said coldly in a tone he hated to use because it wasn't him.

Azriel and Cassian clenched their teeth and fists. They knew Rhysand was partly right, but damn, knowing their soulmate was close to Lucien and in such a dangerous world when she was just a fragile human, it destroyed them. But reluctantly, they finally agreed.

“They’re a little weird,” Feyre whispered to her best friend, detailing their silent discussion.

"Yeah but they're hot," replied Luxiana in the same tone but the situation was so serious that -although the three Illyrians had heard- they didn't even smile, not even being able to rejoice in knowing that their soulmate found them sexy.

“Well then it’s decided,” Tamlin said, still looking out of the corner of his eye at the three brunettes. “We’re leaving.”

Rhysand, Azriel and Cassian would have liked to run to Luxiana to make her promise to be careful, not to approach Lucien or Tamlin, not to leave her castle, or to make Tamlin promise to take care of her but they couldn't. They couldn't let their enemy think that she was their soul mate.

But this game was over. They were going to go meet the Suriel to make sure she was their mate, to find out if it was possible. And if it was, then there would be no more time to lose. They would keep her with them, willingly or not.

[thcophagy]

sully had chalked up to what had happened after the party as one big misunderstanding, something that he couldn't be mad at lana for considering the rest of the events of the night. if anything, he'd felt a wave of pity for her, assuming that she was only trying to come onto him because she thought had to thank him for defending her. if he were a worse man he might've taken advantage of her vulnerability in that moment and let her touch him as she claimed to have wanted to but he was trying not to be that man, especially at the cost of disrespecting lana. it was easy to turn her away then because she gave up so easily, however the same couldn't be said for the version of his nanny that sat in the passengers seat, seemingly desperate to grope at his cock like it was the air she needed to breathe. he was trying to be that noble man, the one who saw how inappropriate the situation was and put a stop to it but he was also too soft to properly put his foot down and say no. with each flickered glance sent in lana's direction, he was met with the sight of her big eyes glimmering with mischief as she giggled at her blatant objectification. not only was it almost too much to hear her using such language, to be the subject of her dirty talk made him hyper-aware of his body in a way he hadn't been for a long time. he opened his mouth to formulate some kind of reply but nothing came, there was nothing he could say that would make any difference to the situation, not when lana was set so in her ways. as much as he wished he was, sully wasn't immune to that sickly sweet lana put on as she cooed fake sympathies about his abstinence, that was until she began to dive head first into the absurd and sully was forced to bark out a laugh. "are you serious? lana that's- you're being ridiculous. i'm fine, i'm not- jesus christ." she was insatiable, for a brief moment he thought he'd finally managed in getting her to keep her hands to herself but like clockwork, another dainty hand reached out and gripped the heavy weight of his cock through his pants once more. parking did sound like a pretty good idea, though not for the reason that lana seemed to be rallying for. the last thing either of them needed was for sully to somehow manage to crash the car on the empty road because he was too flustered by her advances, he only had two hands and she clearly needed them both in order to be held back from groping him like he was a piece of meat there for her pleasure. unable to move her hand away without letting go of her wrist or taking one off the stirring wheel, sully let out a shaky sigh and took a sharp turn to the right, pulling onto the side of the road. the second the car screeched to a stop, he was forced to once again grab at the hand stimulating him and pull her away with a sharp yank, though his grip was harsher than before. if she wouldn't listen to him then he'd have to apply some force, physically restraining her wasn't ideal and made him feel a little crazy but it was the only thing that he thought could work. "listen to me. you need to stop this. all of it, alright? i'm going to take you home and you'll sleep this off and tomorrow we can forget this ever happened but i won't tolerate your misbehaviour any longer. understand?"

this side of lana wasn't exactly out of character, though for mr. landry, it was likely a jarring switch. she'd taken great pains to craft an alternate persona to suit the nanny gig; a more polite, carefully censored version of herself that wouldn't corrupt the kids or scandalize their parents, and she'd prided herself on her ability to seamlessly maintain that act the whole time she'd been living with the landry's. sure, the way she dressed left little to the imagination even after her attempts to tone down the sex appeal, and she had a bit of an unpolished manner of speaking, but she always remembered her manners, she hardly ever swore and, the biggest difference from her usual self, no sex talk whatsoever. by then she'd slipped up once or twice with an innuendo or two— never in front of the twins, of course— and then, most damning of all, her attempt to initiate something that night after the family's holiday party, but it was nothing that could've cost her her job, she thought. at least in that case she'd been mostly sober, and had the good sense to pull back when he challenged her. this time, her inhibitions were thrown out the window, and there was no stopping her as she felt his cock stir to life beneath her soft palm, gasping in response as her eyes widened. "oh shit!" she couldn't resist giggling uncontrollably. "i forgot you had such a big cock, mr. landry..." had she been in her right mind, lana would've at least attempted to go about things with a tad more finesse, but there was something about blatantly objectifying her much older, wildly unavailable boss that gave her a rush like no other, almost like another shot of tequila or a hastily snorted bump, and all she had to do was say and do exactly what was on her mind. now that she could feel him hardening, she was sure it wouldn't be long until he caved just as long as she kept applying pressure. "oh, but i am concerned... it's very concerning." her voice became an exaggerated coo, the front edges of her brows turning up and her eyes widening to give her a sympathetic look. for a moment after he grabbed her again, she didn't fight him, playing nice just to get his guard lowered a little. "it's not healthy for a man to be pent up like that mr. landry... you've gotta get what you need from somewhere. i mean, who knows? if you don't get that release now, you might just go buy a gun and release it all over the family in a fit of blind testosterone fueled rage! i'm just looking out for you. don't you think you deserve that?" her brief period of peace now over, lana went right back to trying to wiggle her way out of his grasp, only realizing after a bit of struggling that she had another functioning hand. she stopped fighting only to grope him with her free hand, a sly grin on her face like she'd just experienced a stroke of genius. "let's park somewhere, c'mon..."

[despite-everything]

WHY IS NO ONE I TEXTED AWAKE

SOMEONE IN MY BUILDING CHASED AFTER PEOPLE WITH A SWORD JUST NOW I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT

[cowboy-robooty]

Love your HCs <3!!! And your art!!!!!!!! Le Question: is Romano 99.99999% straight like Veneziano? What's his sexuality journey like? If you don't mind sharing your thoughts. Is it as weird as Veneziano's pre school BF then pussy for a millennium. Thank youu

FIRST) THANK YOUU MANAJW i always feel surprised when i remember it isnt just me and my 3 friends on da world wide web that like my stuff <:') ARIGATO! FROM ME! *points at me* TO YOU! *points at you*

Anyways now SECOND) i think romano knows he likes girls and actually is nice to them and tries to rizz them its just hes cringe fail so i actually think hes a total virgin whos never dated anyone ever bc hes so aids. i think he doesnt really see guys as an option not because of sexuality but more because hes too busy trying to catch a girl he aint even got TIME to think about other fish types we go one type at a time. like when he goes i would never date anyone in the g8 its not because theyre boys its because "theyre stupid and annoying and ugly and should kill themselves and one of them is my fucking brother" romano is a boy kisser its just that never gets addressed because he hates all the men around him too much. i also think he kinda likes the idea of a girl more than actually dating a girl because 1) he doesnt take into account that girls actually can fart (60% why he thinks theyre so angelic and wunderbar) and 2) he desperately wants to be popular asf like italy so hes like ITALY BANGS CHICKS EVERYDAY SO OBVIOUSLY THERES GOTTA BE SOME SECRET SAUCE IN THERE. but i think he never in his life ends up dating a girl because they all reject his ass bc he fumbles so hard and then prussia activates his yandere gene and he gets loyal asf (but still demented and terrible. basically nothing changes other than him no longer hitting on girls) so woooooo I THINK THE LABLE HE USES IS "normal" (he is anything except normal)

*read tags if u wanna see why i changed my mind. actually romano uses da lable

**drumrolllllll**

BISEXUAL! **judge gavel slams down**

SENTENCE: 10 THOUSAND HOT POCKETS!

[youvebeenlivingfictionalreplies]

.

[grantihare]

mother in law stole my fave pj pants cant have shit in this house

[goodrightreal]

.

[yumeboshi]

𝜗𝜚。．．❛ #03. CORPSE BRIDE

𐙚 topic。．when you turn down yandere hsr men’s proposals.

．。𝜗𝜚 cw。general yandere themes, suggestive content, MINORS DNI

．。𝜗𝜚 a/n。aven, sunday, and boothill. sunday and aven are regular additions to my posts lol, wrote boothills less intense bc he’s too silly to imagine

#AྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིVENTURINE ⇢ ‘convinces’ you

。he will actually try to coax you into it. he doesn’t want to just force things onto you, that isn’t really what he wants 。“ill make you the happiest pretty bride, doll, just believe in me, hm?” 。continues to sweet talk you, telling you what he can do- buy you pretty dresses, give you anything you want, and he lists luxury after luxury. 。and he follows through his promises. even if you are being really disobedient, he’d still buy you more luxury than you could ever ask for. you will start questioning if you really don’t want this marriage- which is exactly what he wants you to do, to make you doubt yourself. 。his list goes on and on- a vip ticket to the Reverie, first row tickets to robin’s concerts, only the finest things that only his class of people could ever get their hands on. 。but in that list, he conveniently puts out ‘freedom.’ 。if you disagree, he’d pout, asking you why- and when you tell him you want to be free from him, he’d laugh, calling you a silly girl. 。“i already gave you a choice when we met. it was your choice to pick a card from an unknown pile.” 。he’d have the wedding commence in some really luxurious property of the ipc, and he will, invite your family over- he’s merciful. but is it mercy when you know you won’t see them ever again? 。“it would be a shame if they don’t see the happiest moment of your life.”

STANDING there with the most beautiful dress you could humanly ask for, your expression is nothing but a shell as Aventurine smiles at you through those shades. Your eyes are everywhere but on his eyes, when you stare at them, you feel like you’re losing yourself.

you are glad your gown came with a veil over your head, nobody can see your dead eyes, except him.

As the officiant goes on with the questions, you grip your bouquet a little harder to the point you feel their stems crumple, just like your shriveling heart.

You snap out of it after hearing silence- you see his expecting eyes on you and you nod blankly. “I do.”

And your husband smiles even wider, and he steps closer and slowly, while staring at you with uncomfortable adoration through those tantalizing purple eyes, he kisses you. You are expecting a tender kiss in a ceremony; but his gloved hand sneaks onto the back of your head, pulling you in hastily.

“I love you so fucking much, princess—” he breathes into you, brushing aside the saliva that trickles down your chin after his intrusion. “It took quite a while, but you’re finally all mine.” He pulls up your hand that has your forced vow on it, he chuckles and softly kisses your fingers.

“‘m gonna make you so happy, so ecstatic, that you’re gonna thank me for it, love. you will thank me that I restrained you from everything else.” he whispers, and the people clap, cheering; your family too, who smiles, knowing nothing that it would be your last reunion.

#SྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིUNDAY ⇢ breaks you

。he just takes it on another level (and does not find your struggles entertaining unlike the former) 。he will be, really heartbroken at first. the head of the oak family asking you to be his lifelong sweetheart is almost like him giving you his life. you are his entire world- and the world has rejected him. 。“…I see. was I not good enough for you, angel?” 。although his emotions will be very hard to control, he’s very used to commencing plans. he’d tell you that he could ‘talk this out’ with you. unfortunately, it’s not a choice, but rather, an order. 。sunday is a ‘the end justifies the means’ kind of person. he will do any means to make you eventually accept your fate. that will include imprisoning you in some faraway place and leaving you abandoned for so long, you will be broken, wishing for any interaction. food is only given to you through a remote device, with no human interaction. 。sunday itches to be with you- he is compassionate for you, his heart will ache to see you sob into an endless cacophony. a part of him will be tempted to go to you and be with you physically, not watching you from a screen. 。he will repeat it- he will visit once a blue moon, comforting you, asking you if you changed your mind. when you ask him when he’d release you, his expression will harden. 。“it seems you haven’t learned anything, sweetheart.” 。if you are still stubborn, he will be a little impatient. he will speed up the process by adding new things in- maybe making you dream of a lovely, free life and when you wake up, you’re just alone. he will not resort to anything violent, he cares too much about you to hurt you. although, ‘hurt’ in his dictionary doesn’t apply to mentally hurting you. 。you will sob and show your most dramatic, fragile sides to a descent of madness, thinking you are truly alone until sunday comes to visit. you are wrong, though- sunday has always been with you, just not physically. 。he has always been watching you cry into the void through a screen. always.

MAYBE you have finally lost your mind, because when Sunday comes to visit you and your dull prison, you collapse to your knees and immediately plead him.

“Please,” you sob, clutching his legs desperately- he doesn’t crouch, but looks down- almost like a god addressing its follower. Sunday is no god for you, but you beg like he is.

“Please what?” He looks at you, fingers brushing over your hands, tilting his head just the slightest. His golden eyes glitter in the dim light. He is waiting for only one answer, there is only one correct answer to his question.

But you do not give him the right one. “Please just let me go,” you break down. Your heart is throbbing from all the crying, vision blurry and your head is light with no energy to talk anymore.

His gentle, serene smile immediately warps into that of a cold one. “Try again?” His fingers grip your hands hard, warning you that his patience is running thin.

When you remain silent except for your sobs, he crouches down to stare at you on eye-level, boring holes into your fearful expression. Unlike his deadly gaze, his words are soft and flow out quickly like a river- albeit with a sigh of exasperation. “Sweetheart, I’m not going to stop this just because you beg.” His hand pushes yours against the floor to knock you down, figure towering over you as he leans in to whisper- “—although, they’re very pleasant to listen to.”

“Honestly, I don’t get why you are struggling right now. It’s so easier to accept your eventual fate. Unless, you do like to seek pain.”

His other hand goes over your stomach, then slides tantalizingly slow up your body- you shiver and tremble at each touch that is too foreign to you. Cold fingers cage your neck and you choke on your breath.

“I’m not planning on hurting you, angel.” His voice is still gentle, but his eyes are telling another story, they seem keen to hurt you again and again. “But I did say I’ll resort to other… methods. Since none of them seem to work, I suppose the only solution would be caging you with a baby.” When your eyes widen, he laughs dryly. “The look on your face tells me that you didn’t expect it. But you will be my loving wife, dear. You will not be able to run or reject me, not when your own child is at stake. It makes only more sense to… make you bear children. My children.”

As he watches you struggle under him, trying to breathe, he feels like he has entered ascension. Soon, one of your pretty fingers will have his ring, and very very soon, he will have his first child- the very thought of him makes him lose his mind. He so wishes to make you his, claim you inside, watch your pretty pussy gush out his cum while he’s pressing deep into your womb- but he also wishes to see a mini version of him, or you. He finds it too adorable to withstand. He will vow that his children will grow up pure and innocent.

“We will be the happiest family in the world,” he purrs. “And I’ll make sure of it.”

#BྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིOOTHILL ⇢ will try to prove himself

。maybe a little similar to aven. but while the latter will materialistically give you things and spoil you around to convince you, boothill will more likely show himself off instead. 。“i can fudgin’ shoot an ipc lackey in the head from miles away, sugar- ya can’t see that ‘n any other guy.” 。he’ll try to show you his capability to protect you- which will likely end up in multiple people dying but as a galaxy ranger, he has morals, so he will probably use the ipc as his shooting dummies 。overall he’s sweet even if you reject his proposal- he will likely be furious, just not at you. 。oh lord but during the day you rejected him, be prepared for multiple news flashes of dead people across the street. the amount of emotion will be too much for his consciousness to restrain 。when you confront him, he’d apologize, albeit a little too nonchalant. 。“‘m sorry sweetie, got a lil outta hand last night.” 。per your wish, he won’t kill anyone who’s unrelated and innocent- but he’d still go on a killing spree in the ipc headquarters to the point you are blacklisted on their list because he would shout your name and rant why you didn’t accept him while he shoots his gun all around the place.

“BOOTHILL, what the hell are you doing?” You frown when he returns- even after rejecting his proposal, he drifts around you like a lost stray dog. And he is always covered in blood, looking furious- but when you talk, his expression simply melts away like butter to a grin that shows his sharp teeth.

“What do ya mean what I’m doin’? Makin’ sure nobody hurts you.” He snickers. He smells like metal, like he always does, but this time it’s overpowering, which lets you know what he’s been doing.

“I don’t need protection, Boothill. You can just leave me alone.”

You’re beyond annoyed at his clinginess. No matter how many times you reject him, he’d always come back, showing something new off to you, and half the time it wasn’t anything pleasant, but rather his list of crimes.

“Aww, don’t be so uptight, sugar.” He chuckles and flashes a grin and his other metal hand spontaneously pulls you into his embrace— you jump. When did his hand get there? “All I wanna do is to make sure my future wife is safe and sound. Nothin’ wrong with that, hm?”

“I told you, I’m not going to accept-“

“Ah ah! Wait and see, you will be, I promise. But don’t drag the chase a lil too long. Even I get impatient.” Something cold pressed against your forehead and you realize it’s his gun. When your expression turns aghast with fear, he barks an amused laugh.

“You scared of this? Nah, I’d never hurt ya. Won’t wanna turn your body into metal like mine.” Although he says this with a dark smirk, he doesn’t remove the gun. “The sooner you agree to it, the merciful I become. Ya don’t wanna see innocent guys die because of your stupidity, hm?”

[chuluoyi]

࿐ ࿔ 🕰️ 「 11:07 P.M 」

divorce scare apology fic🤞🏻 yes people, in the spirit of april 1, it’s gojo who is having dreams :)) and i promise you it’s straight up comfort fic~

a part of gojo's love entries

you’ve known something is bugging satoru as he hasn’t been teasing the heck out of you for these past three days.

and you were proven true when tonight, on your marital bed, he said—

“so… i’ve been thinking…” he started, seemingly deep in thought, playing with your hair. “oh, more like it’s because of this one bad dream…”

“what are you on about?” you raised an eyebrow. okay, you knew something was up with him, but him being a bit skittish made you a bit worried.

“umm, yeah. so, the other day i had this dream about us in tokyo district court—”

“district court—?”

“—getting a divorce, yeah.”

your eyes rounded, and satoru could feel himself almost regretting his words seeing your stunned expression, so he added a band-aid—

“no, it was just a dream! i’m not divorcing you, okay?!”

however, your expression had soured, as you looked down, visibly heartbroken. alarmed, satoru immediately pulled you to his chest.

“oh, ooh— there, there,” he soothed you, stroking your hair. “sweets, no. never. okay? i’m just telling you, just like what you did the other day.”

you had a dream of him cheating on you once, but this was wholly different.

“you’re the worst,” you accused, and despite yourself, you felt an ache in your chest. “how could such thought even cross your mind— that you dream about it?”

“if i can pick my dream… i’ll pick the memory from our honeymoon— precisely when i ripped your black and pink lingerie off and made you scream my name, you know that.”

you huffed, burying your face in his chest. “hmph. explain.”

satoru smiled, finding you so incredibly precious. silly wifey.

he proceeded as he pat your back. “nothing really, i’m still bitter too! no way in hell! but then i started thinking… what would you do in 0.001% chance of us being divorced?”

you pulled away, growling. “…so there’s still a chance—!”

“noooo! that’s statistically impossible! aren’t we having a late night talk? we’re always talking about imaginary scenarios at night, aren’t we?!”

what was the point of this? it was only upsetting you with each second.

“how could you ask me that?” you glared at him resentfully. “if we’re divorced, then—” you grabbed his hand and placed it on your belly. “what about baby? do you not want to see him anymore?”

and in that moment it seemed like he just realized it too as he sheepishly scratched his head, mouth gaping. “ah—”

his response caused your hormones to stir, and combined by your disbelief, you spitefully threw his hand away and turned to your side, refusing to face him.

“if you dare to divorce me, i’ll move out japan at a moment’s notice,” you spat out, crossing your arms. “i won’t let you see my baby— and i’ll put a restraining order on you too, just so you see.”

“whoa, wait—”

“or i can also jump from yasohachi bridge and then become a curse—i’ll haunt you to your dying days!”

“—?! you can’t do that!”

“oh, i can also remarry! i’ll marry ichiji so fast and by the time the baby is born, your kid will have his name instead!”

“ichi— hey! that’s insulting! i would’ve forgiven if it was nanami, but ichiji?!”

“shut up! you’re— you’re annoying!”

in hindsight, this wasn’t something you should get this much worked up for. satoru was obviously just being his dense self and you knew it, but somehow the thought of him suddenly not by your side anymore hurt you— and perhaps your unstable hormones played a part too.

. . . but then his strong arms wrapped around you in that instant, enveloping you in his warm and reassuring embrace from behind. “hey… sweets, don’t be mad…”

“…”

“if you do, baby will also be—”

“you are making us mad.”

“okay, okay.” satoru sighed, his right palm reaching out to caress your five-month baby bump, and his voice was tinted with slight regret as he replied, “sorry…”

you melted a bit, but still gave him the cold shoulder, showing how cross you were that he brought it up in the first place.

and both of you stayed that way for a while, and you started to get sleepy, until you heard him muttering—

“still… whatever you do,” his voice sounded strained, and it made you awake again. “even when i’m not here… you can’t get yourself hurt, alright?”

“what does that mean?” you finally turned towards him, your eyes shone with slight panic. “what do you mean with you not being here?”

“nothing, sweetheart.” satoru grinned, pinching your cheek. “just saying—since i’m away often, don’t do anything reckless, you can get hurt.”

“don’t put it as if you’re going to go some place far away.” you didn’t know what you were spouting now, but you were tired and just didn’t want to pursue this conversation any longer.

you bit your lip, not looking at him. “or… i’ll get sad.”

seeing you so vulnerable and open like this made satoru realize that as much as he needed you to stay sane, you also needed him. the clarity stirred something within him, causing warmth to rapidly spread in his chest.

and he felt soft. so soft for you. and he adored you, more than anyone else in this wretched world.

“aw, look at my baby girl.” your husband cradled you close to him with a wide grin, patting you soothingly, his heart fluttering. “how can i leave you be a single mother? i’m here, yeah? always.”

and you believed him. otherwise, you were willing to risk it all just to get him home, by your side.

you smushed your face into his chest, ignoring your burning face. “hmph, being a single mother isn’t that bad. i can still drain your wealth.”

“huh?! wait, you just said you’ll be sad without me!”

and you thought, being in his embrace is the most comforting place of all.

epilogue

“by the way, i just realized…” satoru fixed his frown on you accusingly in the next morning. “how is your taste in men so bad? why ichiji as your first pick?”

“uh,” you were at a loss of words, totally not expecting this discussion on a brand new morning. “because… he’s kind? he’s easiest to sway—”

“so you’re saying… you can seduce him easily?!”

“…sort of? but you’re right, i should go for nanami. he’s way good-looking. or his apprentice… what’s his name again? ino takuma—”

“nanami? ino?! wait a minute…! y-you’re my wife… but you’re also thinking about which man is easier to seduce and which is more attractive?!”

“uh— you’re the one asking first!”

“still! so you do think about them! about weaker, lesser men who are not me!”

“nanami is not—!”

“hoh?! so it’s nanami, huh!?”

“don’t you dare to start anything, gojo satoru,” you hissed. “you said my taste in men is bad. so that includes you too.”

“wha?!”

[biteyoubiteme]

blue raspberry flavored

soobin x fem!reader

synopsis: he’s so cute when he asks, he’s even cuter when he doesn’t

warnings: 🔞!!! breeding kink, baby trapper, dubcon/manipulation, nipple/breast play, use of teeth, marking, no protection, creampie, talk of pregnancy, soobin calls reader bunny a few times prob forgot some sorry

wc: 1.5k

an: don't know how this one will go over but hope you guys like it feedback is appreciated :)) [m.list]

this is apart of my mini kinktober event check out the other fics here [dumdum m.list]

Soobin was never really forgetful of anything. He never forgot your birthday, missed an anniversary, messed up on your coffee order, he never even had to write down what he needed when he went grocery shopping. But bringing a condom always seemed to slip his mind. 

At first it was easy to write off in the beginning of your relationship, every time the two of you got closer to having sex and not just messy make outs every pouty ‘its okay ill just pull out’ sounded more and more appealing. But you bought a box of condoms for your apartment and didn't realize the way his jaw clicked at the sight of them. 

Soon after soobin was suddenly into pda. Purposefully teasing you out in public, hand slipping up your thigh under the table at a friends house, pulling you into heady kisses out at events, pushing you into bathroom stalls to try and undress you. You didn't make the connection until later that he was avoiding taking you home. ‘I just can't wait i need you right now,’ 

He knew exactly what to say for you to fold, slowly chipping away at the idea that the two of you even needed protection at all. It was so easy for you to remember when in your own bed, the nightstand right there. But in the back of the car with his lips all over you, hands kneading your thighs, pushing your knees apart; you let so much slide. Mumblings for him to pull out lost between moans. Where was he supposed to cum in the car anyways? He’d hate to ruin the interior or your pretty skirt. 

In the beginning it wasn't so bad, soobin could restrain himself. If you two didn't use a condom he would make sure to pull out and if you did use one he was easy to comply. But it only took one time and it was an accident, a real accident where he didn't pull out fast enough. It was in the mix of his fucked out apology that he realized he wasnt sorry at all, not when he was watching the way your abused cunt was pushing out his cum and all he could really think about was going right back in for more. 

post nut he was a bit ashamed but as soon as he thought about it for long enough he had his hand down his pants begging in an empty room to get you pregnant. And when you're ovulating it's only worse. Not only does he know it would be so easy to knock you up but it's like you're beckoning him to do it. Your hands squeezing your boobs, pushing up your bra while you're watching movies together. “Ugh im so sore,” the pout on your lips instantly makes him hard. His imagination taking over thinking about just how big they would get if he did get you pregnant. 

And when you wear that tiny little tank top he is insatiable. Nipples peeking through the thin fabric as you lay against the pillows on the bed. You didn't even notice that soobin is paying no attention to the tv, his eyes watching the way your chest rises and falls. Adjusting in his seat to not make it too obvious he was already leaking in his sweatpants. Only it does the exact opposite, your eyes drawn to the bulge outlined in the gray fabric. 

“Need help there?” it's the slight invitation he needs to roll over on top of you, lips working down your throat, hips rutting against yours. 

“Please bunny, i need you,” he begs as you run your fingers through his hair pushing the strands behind his ears. Pleading brown eyes working on you instantly, he was always so desperate to have you and he knew it always made him get what he wanted. 

He tugs down your tank top far enough for your boobs to spill out, hands reaching up to cup them both, thumbs sliding over your skin as he groans. “Look at your pretty nipples,” he squeezes his hands, pushing them together to watch the way your cleavage deepens. 

You whine softly, “gentle i'm still tender,” the reminder only adding to his want, mouth coming down to suck on your nipple, your moan going straight to his aching cock. 

Kneading the handfuls he has of your breasts, your back arches, lips popping off obscenely from one nipple only to capture the next. He's rough as he massages, your nails scratching along his scalp, his moans reverberating through your chest as he swirls his tongue over the hard bud. 

He's humping you like you don't have layers of clothes separating you two, every slow drag of his hips pressing his hardness right against your clit, his teeth softly biting at your nipple tugging to watch how you react. Soobin knows that getting you off at least once before actually fucking you led to your inhibitions being weakned enough to forget about the condom all together. His hand slipped down between you two, pushing past your waistband to rub on your clit. 

Lips coated in his spit he starts sucking marks along your chest, watching the way your head rolls back, fingers sliding through your slick as your hips buck up into his hand. He knows your body well enough to see the first orgasm coming, relishing in the way you tremble against him. With no time to let you ride out your high he's pulling down your shorts and panties, kicking off his sweats using all your wetness to lube up his cock. 

But even in your haze you reach out beside you fumbling for the drawer to the nightstand pulling out the little shiny packet. You don't even see the disappointment on his face as you rip open the packet helping to slide the condom on him. 

And he wants to be good, truly, only when he slowly pushes in he cant think about anything else except fucking you hard enough the condom breaks, neither of you knowing until its too late, until all his cum is spilling out of you. It’s that thought alone that makes him pull all the way out, his fingers slipping along the condom as he tugs it off. “What-” 

“It's okay,” he mutters, tossing the condom to the pile of your clothes on the floor. “I need to feel all of you please,” and he tries to kiss away the worry on your mouth, and you shake your head. 

“No you need another one we have extra in the nightstand,” but he's already prodding your entrance, tip slipping in as he begs, "I'll just pull out I promise, please, please,"

You don't even get to respond before his hips slam into yours, fully seating himself inside you, promptly shutting up anything else you could say. Even if after the two of you were done you were upset it's not like you would leave him would you? Not if he got you pregnant, the two of you were ready, and he'd take such good care of you. “Fuck,” his drawn out moan pressed right into your neck as he bullies his cock into you, “you feel amazing bunny,” 

You're clinging to him, moans mixing with the obscene wet sounds coming from between you two. “Soobin s-slow down,” but you're not sure you want him to, not when he's hitting just the perfect spot inside of you, pressed so deep you swear you can feel him in your stomach. 

“No,” he pants pulling you closer, “im going to stuff you full of my fucking cum, we will stay here all night if we have to,” your clenching gummy walls aiding him on. “Don't you want my baby?” 

You can't even think straight let alone answer his question, his long fingers moving to work on your clit, “you'd be so pretty full of me, my cum, my baby, everyone would know youre all mine,” 

The room is full of your desperate moans, your legs wrapping around him as if you could pull him any closer. “You like that idea huh?” 

“Y-yes,” you're practically crying, tears welling up in your eyes, “i want it, please,” 

That alone makes soobins balls tighten, cock jerking inside you before he spills the biggest load he's ever had inside you. He presses his hips against yours making sure you're flush together as you cum, fluttering walls sucking him in deeper milking him dry of all he has. He takes your hand in his lowering it to press over your pelvis, pressing it down enough to make you moan, “i don't think once will do it,” deep slow thrusts pushing his cum further in making you dizzy, “but you did such a good job im sure you can handle the rest,"

a very special thank you to @aduh0308 and @chyuuiung for beta/proof reading this for me ily you're the best

🏷 taglist: @kissmekissykissme @bts-txt-ateez @apeachty @stwq2349 @isa942572 
@tomorrowxforever @beestvng @soobingf-blog @lovinjjong @lola-horore-553 
@cypher-03 @midnight-mochii @hueningwhy @choibeomning @soobinbunnie5 
@yunjinswifee @cupidtaehyun @bamgeutsz @prince-jjae

[hairyjocktf]

A Full Dose of Country

Cody was exhausted. He was a star on the wrestling team at his university, but over winter break he’d been conscripted to be a helping hand on his uncle’s farm out in central Texas. After arguing for weeks with his very angry mother over the phone he’d submitted to spending his month off on the ranch. His mom had said that his uncle really needed the help for the season, and to put that athletic body of his to use. Cody rolled his eyes at that; he needed to be training for the next season. Instead he’d spent the past two weeks in the middle of nowhere helping out his uncle Shane, far from his friends and anything fun. Every day was long and exhausting. Cody thought he was in excellent shape but the long hours and excessive manual labor had started to wear on him quickly.

After putting some equipment away in the shed Cody trudged his way back into the small house, finding Shane slouched on the couch in front of the TV. He craned his neck around and gave Cody a quick up and down. 

“Damn son, you look rough today! You better get in bed early, we’ve got a hell of a task tomorrow,” he said. Cody’s shoulders slumped at the news.

“What could possibly be worse than what you’ve had me doing already?” He snapped. Shane was unfazed at the attitude.

“There’s some new bovine flu or something goin’ round. Heard it on the news the other day. I ordered some shots for the cattle to keep ‘em healthy, and I need you to help me get them all handled. Shouldn’t be a challenge for a hot shot like you right?” He snorted. Cody gave him a solemn look.

“Uh huh, sure.”

“I’m just messing with ya, y’know that,” Shane said with more sincerity. “Go on and get some sleep now boy,” he said as he shooed Cody off to his room.

Cody made his way down the dimly lit hallway to the small room he’d been staying in. He wasn’t the neatest guy on the planet but the state of his room was awful, but he’d been run too ragged to care. He pulled off his jeans and shirt and fell onto the bed, and within minutes he was out cold. 

The morning came abruptly with a banging on his door.

“Cody! Get dressed and out here we gotta start this operation early if we wanna finish today!” 

His uncle’s slightly muffled voice was still too loud for whatever hour it was. He threw on his hoodie and jeans from yesterday before making his way outside. The darkness was just starting to give way to dawn as he followed his uncle’s silhouette out towards the barn. The morning breeze was frigid, blowing through his hoodie like it was nothing. Cody shivered as he caught up to his uncle, who was setting up the chute for restraining the cattle. He stood there staring, in disbelief at what he was doing. His friends were partying in Cancun and he was up at 5 am herding cows?

“Well don’t just stand there, help me secure the pens!” His uncle’s bellowing voice snapped him out of his daze. Cody had unfortunately spent enough time on the ranch already to know what to do, and he got to work moving fences and prepping the area. By the time the sun had finally risen above the horizon they were ready. 

“Alright, now you’re gonna herd the cows in here one at a time, I’ll catch them in the chute, hit them with the needle gun, and let ‘em out into that second pen. Simple enough right?” Shane said, again with too much energy.

“Yea, sounds good.” Cody huffed, already feeling fatigued. He jogged back outside to start herding some of the cattle into the pens. He was surprised at how smoothly the entire operation was, within an hour they’d processed a dozen cattle. The problem now was getting the bigger ones in. Cody wasn’t normally afraid of a longhorn but in this situation he was tense, to put it lightly. Keeping his distance as much as possible, he slowly ushered the bull towards his uncle. As they neared their setup he had to get closer and more forceful, before finally spooking the animal into running into the chute. Shane slammed down the gates, holding the frantic bull inside the shaking apparatus.

“Cody!” Shane yelled over the racket, “Come hold this down so I can get a good shot!”

Cody hopped the fence and darted over to his uncle, holding the lever down against a raging bull. Shane was right next to him fiddling with the needle gun to refill it.

“Damn thing always jams at the worst times I swear…” he muttered before finally loading it properly. He squeezed up next to Cody to get close to the animal’s neck and leaned in to administer the shot. In that instant, the bull thrashed. Cody saw the massive horns swinging his direction and panicked, jerking to the side away from the head, directly into his uncle. They both toppled to the ground, and Cody felt a sharp pain in his abdomen. The bull knocked open the gates with no one to hold them down and dashed out into the pasture.

“Jesus Christ,” Shane said as he climbed to his feet, “You alright Cody?”

“Yea… I think so,” Cody mumbled as he stood up, feeling a pulsing pain in his gut. He lifted his shirt to find a small pinprick on his stomach surrounded by a reddened area.

“Aw shit, I must’ve hit you with the gun when we fell.” He walked over to Cody and kneeled down to look closely. “It’s a big needle for the cattle is all, you should be fine I think,” he said. Cody felt less than convinced. He scratched at the slightly itchy spot before letting his shirt down.

“C’mon, we’ve got plenty more cows to handle today. None of ‘em should be that aggressive again,” Shane said while inspecting the chute. Cody was a little shocked at how nonchalant his uncle was about what just happened. Cody headed back out to the pens to continue his job, but the slight itching on his stomach kept his mind divided. Surely nothing in a cow vaccine would be dangerous to a human right? They ate the cows in the end anyway, he thought with a slight chuckle.

Eventually the cows' persistent mooing brought them back to the present, and Cody’s thoughts slipped away from the earlier events. The work got his blood pumping, sending the vaccine’s contents all around his body. While the itch on his stomach finally subsided, a growing uncomfortable feeling was arising in his groin. The viral load had reached his balls, and while it was dormant for cows, the same couldn’t be said for Cody. It entered his cells and began making some changes down there. His balls began to swell, first to the size of walnuts before stretching his sack even more, plumping up to the size of large eggs. His newly enlarged testicles began to flood his body with more testosterone than ever before, laced with some bovine hormones.

His cock was the first to respond, twitching as it slowly grew hard, pressing against Cody’s compression underwear. His cock pulsed, head flaring as it stretched out, engorging to his full size of seven inches. Cody reached down to try and relieve some of the pressure, unaware of what was happening. He adjusted the band of his underwear, allowing more space for his cock to grow. And grow it did, pushing well past seven inches. The sensation of his throbbing member against his tight underwear was driving his body wild, even if he was distracted. His cock reached 11 inches, fully visible with a rock hard imprint in his underwear. Cody tried to adjust his growing package through his pants, oblivious to the situation below. As it capped out a glob of precum shot out of the tip, before the entire shaft thickened to a girth he could’ve only imagined before. A steady stream of precum began to flow afterward, creating an ever growing wet spot through his jeans. 

As Cody continued wrangling cattle, the steady stream of hormones from his massive balls continued to spread. An itch reappeared, but this time in his groin. He’d always kept himself clean shaven down there, but a slight shadow had appeared around the base of his cock. Clear cut hairs were starting to crop up again, a wave of short but dark stubble expanding outward. The hairs didn’t remain short for long, as his bush began to regrow with a vengeance. They pushed out of his skin, curling together as new hairs began to fill in between the old. The hairs pushed out longer and longer, weaving into a dense mat. The forest continued to spread, with thick hairs coating his low hanging balls and expanding out onto his thighs. The hairs began crawling up his lengthy shaft, covering the lower half in a furry sheath. Cody again scratched at his crotch, not noticing the dense growth from outside his jeans. As he finished up working for the day, hairs were slowly popping up further and further up, building a trail from his forested bush to his navel. The thick rug was pushing out against his compression underwear, slowly growing thicker as more hairs filled in.

Cody wiped the sweat from his forehead as his uncle was finally putting away the equipment from the day. He was more exhausted than he’d ever felt, and he didn’t believe he’d ever say that after enduring countless grueling wrestling training sessions with his coach. Thinking on them, he found it harder to recall those experiences despite his muscles aching, but he chalked it up to the brutal day he’d had. The sun was already below the horizon by the time they got back to the house. Cody figured he’d take a shower while Shane was throwing some kind of dinner together, and headed back to his room. He pulled off his hoodie and sweat-soaked shirt, revealing the crawling vine of dark hair making its way up his abs.

“What the fuck?” Cody blurted out in shock. He ran his fingers through the wiry curls exposed above his waistline. He quickly undid his belt and jeans and stuck his hand down in his underwear, deep into the lush sweaty forest that’d been absent when he pulled on his pants that morning. His jaw dropped. What the hell was happening here? He pushed his hand farther in only to find his now massive cock, and his eyes went wide. He darted into the bathroom and yanked down his underwear. In the mirror fully exposed was his flaccid nine inch cock, drooped in front of his comically large balls, all buried within the thickest bush he’d ever seen. Cody delicately handled his dangling member, and the slightest touch had it growing hard, leaking precum from the tip. He was stunned, standing there with precum spilling over one hand and the other buried in the thicket of hair.

As he stood there staring, the virus reached his brain. His panicked face slowly morphed into a grin. This was kinda hot, he thought. Who doesn’t love a massive dick, right? Cody began to rub his hands through the thick tangle of hair, feeling the curls catch around his fingers. His cock throbbed as it grew hard, reaching its full size. He grabbed it with his other hand, feeling the softer hairs that were poking out of his shaft. Cody, overcome with pleasure, let himself go. He stroked with one hand and explored his furry groin with the other. Within a minute he was ready to climax, grunting as he shot thick ropes onto the mirror. 

“Fuck,” he groaned, senses returning. He collapsed back onto the toilet behind, taking a moment to catch his breath before cleaning up his mess.

“Cody! Dinner’s on the table!” His uncle shouted from the kitchen. Cleaning would have to wait. Cody stuffed his still partially hard cock back into his tight underwear and threw on the rest of his clothes before heading out. He still had a grin plastered on his face, and Shane noticed.

“What’s got you in good spirits now, boy?”

“Aw nothin’ just proud of a good day’s work” Cody replied, suddenly caught off guard with his manner of speaking. That voice was his but didn’t sound like him, it was almost… country. No, he’d always spoken like that, he was from Texas after all. The smell of the sizzling food on the table grabbed his attention and he swiftly forgot about his concern. He scarfed the meal down, his body subconsciously needing the fuel. He suppressed a large belch before standing up, thanking Shane for the food, and heading back to his bed. Cody stripped off his shirt and jeans before flopping down onto the mattress, exhausted and stuffed. 

As he laid there, twirling his new pubes between his fingers, he let his thoughts drift back to his friends from school off on their vacations. He wasn’t as jealous anymore. In fact, maybe he was on the better end of that deal. All this manual labor was keeping him in shape for the season; getting drunk daily on the beach wouldn’t do that! His cock began to chub up at the thought of him finally putting on the mass to be at the top of his weight class. Precum leaked down his shaft and into his musky forest as Cody drifted off.

Cody woke in a sweat to a familiar banging on his door. He peeled himself off the sheets, looking at the vaguely body shaped sweat pool he’d left. He himself was also soaked. Then the  smell hit him, a musky sweaty stench had filled the room throughout the night. Cody was confused, he’d never sweat like this, not even after his gym sessions, it wasn’t even hot inside the house. He looked down at himself to see drops slowly streaming down his chest and stomach, which had grown slightly more covered with hair. He thoughtlessly scratched at his chin, fingers raking through small bristles that hadn’t been there before. With no time to ponder more he threw on some jeans and a tank top and ran out towards the barn.

Cody and Shane quickly got to work on the day’s tasks, eager to get as much done as possible before the sun got too harsh. Cody found it easier to get into what he was doing, it felt more natural somehow. As he worked up even more of a sweat than he’d woken up with, the combination of virus and testosterone got pumped around his body at an accelerated rate. The bristles on his chin began to poke out a little more; a shadow of stubble spread across his jaw and up onto his cheeks. Cody scratched at the growing stubble, not noticing the difference from his baby smooth physique before.

That smooth skin was quickly becoming a memory, as his upper lip was covered by the same shadow, dark spots turning into short hairs that pushed out longer and longer. The wiry hairs sprouting from his face grew thicker by the minute, new wisps shooting out between the maturing hairs. He’d grown into a scruffier version of himself, the shadow of stubble creeping down his neck as the hairs on his chin, upper lip, and cheeks fluffed out more.

As he worked, Cody’s arms pumped up more than usual and his legs following suit. His already well defined pecs began to feel sore as they pushed out, stretching his tank even more than usual. What had been rolling hills turned into mountains as muscle packed on. The soreness was quickly replaced with a subtle itch; the tendril of thick curls reaching up from his groin began to climb higher. Hairs shot up north of his navel, growing in a line up towards his beefier chest. His collarbone was the first to react to the cocktail of hormones surging inside him. A lone dark hair shot up over the collar of his tank. Another curled out, and then another. Wispy hairs began to crop up along the top of his chest, cresting over the neck of his tank. The beads of sweat covering his chest only seemed to fertilize more growth, matting the hairs to his skin in swirls and spirals of masculinity. Before long a rug had begun to form on his chest, hairs pushing out and puffing up his tank as it struggled against his growing body.

By mid afternoon, they’d finished everything for the day. Cody’s sudden burst of work ethic surprised Shane, who didn’t seem to notice his nephew’s burgeoning beard. Cody could feel the pump in his body, it was sore but he felt electric after working all morning.

“Whew, that went smoother than I ever figured,” Shane laughed and slapped Cody on the back. “Why don’t we enjoy a beer and take the rest of the day off.”

“Can’t say no to that I s’pose,” Cody responded with a smile. The two walked back to the house and settled out on the back porch. Shane grabbed some beers from inside and tossed one to Cody.

“Seems like you’re getting the hang of all this work around here, son. I could use a hand like yours more often!” Shane howled and cracked open his can. 

“Well, y’know, I guess I’m startin’ to enjoy it all a bit. Somethin’ about it out here makes me wanna stay,” Cody said with a heavier accent than even his uncle. Shane smiled back at him. The two chatted with a better rapport than ever as Cody downed his beer, and then another, and then two more.

His stomach gurgled as more hair spread across his stomach, fully burying his abs under a dark coat of hair. The line reached up to his chest widened, small fuzzy hairs spreading out before thickening up. Cody’s sweat covered chest followed suit. In the cleft between his pecs, hairs pressed their way out, spreading outwards as they grew in denser and darker and caught more sweat. What had been light fuzz across the wide expanse of his muscular form was corrupted by testosterone, follicles going into overdrive pushing out thicker darker hairs. The rug spread out around his nipples and upwards, merging with the hairs covering his collarbone as more continued to pop up towards his shoulders and up his neck. 

Cody was in the middle of downing another beer when a rank stench filled his nose. It was familiar, almost like the one from when he’d woken up. He lifted his arm and was greeted with a faceful of powerful body odor; his pits had become ripe and full of hours worth of sweat. He watched as the carefully shaven skin tinted dark as hairs sprouted en masse. It seemed like a waterfall in slow motion, watching the dark hairs pour out of his pit, growing longer and longer as they trapped more sweat in his damp pit. The growth spread, hairs pushing beyond the edges of his pits and growing the forest larger until it blended with the rug on his chest. His other pit itched as the same growth began to take place, a thick tuft of hair erupting. He could feel the wiry hairs pushing out between his arm and torso, growing bushier and escaping the bounds of his underarm. 

He should’ve been shocked, alarmed, panicked, anything of the sort, but instead he just stuck his hand into the damp jungle to scratch it. His fingers dug into the thick forest, digging deep to get at the sweaty skin below. Upon pulling his hand out he automatically sniffed it, as if he’d done so for a lifetime. The aroma filled his nose, the ripe stench causing his cock to shoot out a spurt of precum. The virus had gotten its foothold, altered his thinking enough to not only be nearly unaware of the changes, but to be aroused by them, to desire them. He leaned back in the chair, lifting his arms behind his head and exposing his hairy matted pits to the world.

The chair groaned under Cody as his body slowly swelled, muscles growing larger and thicker. His back popped as it grew wider, shoulders broadening as his traps and delts exploded with size. His tank top, already at its limit, began to tear at the sides where his lats were widening. Cody scratched at a slight itch on his shoulder, not thinking much of it, but the dusting of hairs on his shoulders had begun to spread, new curls cropping up all over. The wave of fur stretched from his forested chest up over his collarbone to his traps and shoulders before starting its descent. The itch crept down towards his shoulder blades as thin hairs pushed out, quickly growing from fuzz into fur. It almost looked like Cody was developing wings made of hair, as the patches knit together, creeping towards his spine to join into one hairy coat. The bristles continued working down, sprouting into thick stands that tangled together as they pushed out, growing denser as testosterone drenched each and every follicle. The burgeoning trail of hair reached his waistband, where it exploded into a sweaty tuft just above his ass. The hairs continued to fill in until his entire back was coated, a sweat-matted rug that was even curling around his sides to connect with the field of hair on his stomach. 

Cody shifted in his seat, trying to shake an uncomfortable feeling growing down in his underwear. His ass had been filling out all day, stretching his underwear to its limit, but this was different. Deep between his cheeks, thick hairs were slowly pushing out around his hole. They grew dark and wiry, tickling him as they squeezed between his massive cheeks. More hairs began to press out, surrounding his hole before spreading outwards. The shadow of loaded follicles crept over both his cheeks, and shortly after the hairs burst forth in a wave, pushing against his tight underwear as his ass disappeared beneath the growing fur. The hair continued to spread, connecting to his furry back and to his jungle of pubes which similarly thickened even more.

Cody reached down to scratch at his crotch, and paused for a moment after seeing his hand. It was much thicker than it’d been, with rough, calloused palms and thick sausages for fingers. He flipped it over and watched as a thick dark hair wormed out of his knuckle, followed by another, and in seconds there were dark tufts of hair popping up across his hand. The hairs crawled up towards his forearm, where his once soft dusting of wispy brown hairs was overrun by new dense growth. The hairs pushed out long and wove together into a puffy forest that climbed up his arm, the growth not petering out in the slightest. His beefy triceps vanished beneath the growing fur as it reached towards the thick hairs on his shoulders.

He watched the hairs overtake his once smooth and tanned skin but, rather than alarm. all Cody felt was arousal, with his cock chubbing up in his pants. He was half tempted to use that newly hairy hand to grab it, but he restrained himself. Not in front of Shane, it could wait. The sun had started to set, and as if on cue his uncle spoke up.

“Welp, better get workin’ on some supper,” he said, hoisting himself out of his chair. He left Cody out on the patio, finally giving his nephew a quiet moment to himself. Cody gazed out over the pastures, glowing in shades of orange and gold from the sunset. He could get used to it out here, he thought to himself. The desire to get back to wrestling with his team had slipped even further, he’d barely mentioned them during his and Shane’s multi-hour banter. The virus had been multiplying in his head, suppressing those neural connections in favor of those made recently on the ranch. He wanted to stay here on the ranch with the cattle, giving the virus more chance to spread to others. It would do anything to make that a reality.

Cody watched the sun slip below the horizon and headed back to his room. He tried to pull off his tank but instead it shredded, unable to cope with his massive body. He laid down on the bed, feeling the thick hairs on his back rub against the sheets. It was an electric feeling, and very quickly the bulge down there had doubled in size from the sensation. He brought one hand up to the dense rug of hair on his chest, not questioning how it’d grown since the morning, raking his fingers through the wiry swirls of hair. It felt amazing. A wet spot appeared on his jeans and grew as he stroked the thick chest hairs, before he stripped off his pants and underwear to free his fully erect cock from confinement, dribbling precum down its side.

His other hand he brought up to his face, feeling the fluffy growth. It was lighter than the rest of his new growth, but as he scratched at his cheeks he could feel new hairs poking out. The hairs grew in thicker and denser, his beard filling in as skin vanished underneath. The follicles continued to pump out hair after hair, thicker and darker than before as hormones completed his change. The beard hairs pushed out longer and longer, tangling into a solid block of hair that hid his face and neck as it grew down. The bristles poked out higher up on his cheeks, claiming as much of his face as they could. Cody was in ecstasy, feeling his beard come in around his fingers. His cock pulsed without him even needing to touch it, the testosterone coursing through his body thickening all the hairs into a seamless pelt. 

He loved his new body, his new fur, and he had to make it permanent. The virus guiding him, he reached down to his cock, his grip not even enough to surround the girth, and pumped it once up and down. With just that, Cody moaned in a newly gruff voice as he climaxed, his cock erupting with a geyser of cum. Rope after rope of thick cum landed all over his body, getting stuck in the forest of hair engulfing him. As the last load dribbled out of the tip his body relaxed, so did his old life of college and wrestling. Cody laid there, plastered with his own load as waves of pleasure echoed through his body. This was the life, he thought, still rubbing his hands through his cum soaked fur. 

Cody managed to clean himself up a bit by the time Shane called from the kitchen. He sat across from his uncle at the table while they ate, resuming the banter from earlier. At the end of the meal Cody finally decided it was time.

“Y’know Shane, I think I’d like to stick around for good.”

This story is my submission to @occamstfs 2000 follower writing challenge. Definitely my longest one yet, thanks everyone for reading to the end! I hope y'all enjoyed it, and thanks to Occam himself for the motivation, inspiration, and editing he did!

[hedgehog-moss]

In previous years I've tried uprooting small fir trees in my woods to use as Christmas trees, making sure to be gentle in the process and keep as much of their root system as I could, but when I replanted them in the woods later it just never worked. The trees didn't appreciate being treated like this, so last year I didn't even try replanting my Christmas tree and just fed it to the llamas (who did appreciate.)

I meant to do the same this year, and on my to-do list this week I had "cut a Christmas tree" and "get rid of 10m2 of broom plants" (this is on my to-do list in perpetuity. They grow so rampantly, if I didn't fight back there would be no pasture left.)

^ But then after I went and cut a bunch of horrible brooms I thought, well this is absurd, I'm going to kill a perfectly nice fir tree that I have no beef with, to have something green in my living-room for Christmas, when I could humiliate my plant nemesis by festooning its slain offspring with tinsel? I mean, shrubs are green. They fit the bill. I bet with a star on top they could pass for a Christmas tree.

At first I tried to cut a tall and large broom, then poke holes in its trunk with my drill to stick smaller broom branches in there like this: \o/ to give it a rough Christmas tree shape. It didn't work. Brooms as it turns out are extremely dense and fibrous and my drill didn't like drilling into them one bit.

So I lowered my expectations, and started gathering a big bouquet of younger brooms (the only positive aspect of broom invasiveness is that I have an infinite number of shrubs to experiment on. I cut a half dozen of them to try and drill holes into them and by the time I gave up, another two dozen had grown back in their place). I tied up my broom bouquet into something vaguely reminiscent of a fir and, I mean, with a star, it sort of looks the part?

I had to do the tying-up part several times, because the pretty and festive golden string I initially used was too weak. This bouquet of broom branches may look placid and easygoing in photographs, but when tied together tightly, it is determined to free itself.

But I managed to tame it using hay bale string. It didn't look happy with its fate, but I mean, it's a broom shrub. Its only ambition in life is to conquer as much pasture territory as possible and add it to its broom empire. It does not want to be a decorative plant in a living-room.

Take any historical figure who was mainly known as a ruthless conqueror and try to picture turning him into a Christmas tree. He won't look happy about it.

I ended up making two Christmas Brooms, one for the greenhouse and one for my living-room. The greenhouse one was originally meant for the living-room, but it was made up of particularly obstinate Pampe-like branches and I was worried one of my cats would poke it and the "tree" would suddenly break its chains in an explosion of vegetal triumph and traumatise the cat.

It may look like a peaceful Christmas Yew in the below pic, but don't underestimate its very strong desire to free itself from even the tough hay bale string, which forced me to use my garlands to tie it up some more, wrapping them around the "tree" less loosely and festively than usual. But I put my biggest star on top and that means it looks like a Christmas tree. A Christmas tree with a restraining order.

This tree is held together with tinsel, threats, and Christmas magic.

In the dark and from afar you really can't tell it's a bunch of unruly invasive shrubs tied together <3 And here's the much thinner and therefore less angry version in my living-room:

It was tilting to the left somewhat worryingly so I put a heavy stuffed hedgehog at the bottom to stabilise it, and a mountain goat at the top to dissuade it. All hands on deck. They both look somewhat petrified, like they are begging the faux-tree to remain a tree for the duration of the holidays...

Thus ends my Christmas Broom journey. It was a bit of a pain to set up but at least an innocent fir out there got to escape a grim fate (devoured by llamas), and a small gang of invasive shrubs get to be looked at with approval and joy for the first time in their life. It's a win-win.

[devildomwriter]

Fun Facts 631-640

• Solomon went to a book fair where books chose if you could read them. The one about bettering relations with demons refused to let him read it based on his own relationships with his demons.

• Mephistopheles attends an annual meeting of noble families where the point is too bring the most extravagant and unique gift and honor your family name

• Diavolo read a book on camera lenses and made one from scratch.

• Mephistopheles admitted he used to mistake Asmodeus for Leviathan. Asmodeus threatened his life.

• Belphegor attends gourmet fairs with Beelzebub

• Mammon attends Asmo-nights most often and gets pretty excited about them.

• When he was younger Solomon got the magic-equivalent of a restraining order from the ocean

• Barbatos took MC on a date to a Tea Convention

• MC has canonically given Lucifer a hickey. Mammon saw it and screamed.

• Leviathan has called Barbatos an “absolute sigma”

621-630 • 641-650

[dream-with-a-fever]

ron weasley did not

come to privet drive to rescue harry from his abusive home after he hadn’t been replying to any of his letters and he was worried

almost back out of following the spiders bc they’re his biggest fear, but upon seeing hermione’s empty seat at dinner, find the courage to go

defend hermione from any and everyone who called her a mudblood

constantly worry about hermione’s workload (especially in 3rd year) and notice that whenever she disappeared

offer to teach hermione his entire family tree so that she could pretend to be pure blood to keep her safe from death eaters

defend harry to everyone (percy, seamus, half the school) when everyone thought he was lying about voldemort’s return

stand up on his broken leg in front of harry and say that “if you want to kill harry, you’ll have to kill us first!” to what they believed to be a raving lunatic mass murderer

gift dobby his newest weasley jumper and the new socks he got given for christmas

stand up against snape when he was bullying hermione (and got a detention as a result)

beg the deatheaters who were torturing hermione to “leave her alone!! take [him], have [him] instead!”

always check up on his friends when he notices something is up, even if it’s in subtle ways

immediately befriend harry on the train in ps and teach him about the wizarding world

write to charlie immediately so he could help hagrid out of trouble (re the dragon, norbert)

encourage neville to stand up to people, and praise him when he actually does it

help harry put on his pajamas after he broke his arm during quidditch

have to be physically restrained from attacking malfoy after he said he wished hermione had died in cos

worry about harry’s preoccupation with the mirror of erised and how it was affecting him

remind hermione to eat her meals and get a good night’s sleep when she’s studying 24/7 for their owl exams

display acute levels of emotional intelligence in the way he interacts with harry and hermione, essentially being the glue that keeps them all together

get splinched almost in half, lose blood and suffer agonising pain but seem more worried about the cattermoles and whether or not they were okay

realise his mistakes & own up to them, acknowledging his role in certain falling outs (especially in deathly hallows)

be genuinely hilarious and fun, and lighten the load in everyone else’s’ lives with the humour he brings to

write to his mother in ps asking her to give harry presents too because he doesn’t think he’ll received any

go to the department of mysteries to help harry without a second a thought

go on the run with harry to hunt for horcruxes without a second thought

run to hermione’s aid when malfoy hits her with a nasty hex outside snape’s classroom and take her to the hospital wing

help hermione with buckbeak’s appeal, spending hours upon hours reading up on the case

extend the first olive branch after fighting with hermione because of scabber’s “death” and apologising, after which she then apologises too

demand to re-try out for the position of keeper on the quidditch team because he wanted to earn it himself with no favouritism or help

choose to stay on the quidditch team despite the bullying from the slytherin team and his nerves about his flying ability

stand up to malfoy at every opportunity, when he was insulting him, but more importantly, insulting his family & his friends

save harry’s life in dh by pulling him out of the lake, and then kill the horcrux

remember the houseelves during the battle of hogwarts and worry about their safety

continue to admire and adore his older twin brothers despite the fact that they were sometimes cruel to him

become almost annoyingly protective of his little sister (ESPECIALLY after the diary situation)

single-handedly out smart and escape five armed and deadly snatchers

try his best to overcome his insecurities and feelings of being overlooked, in order to support the people around him

sacrifice himself without a second thought during the chess game in ps because he knew harry’s survival was more important than his

for y’all to speak on him the way you do. calling him cruel, evil, selfish etc??? open your fucking eyes

[checkeredflagggs]

Share the Spotlight

pairing: charles leclerc x sm admin!reader

summary: an unofficial fan account gets a little unhinged until it doesn’t…

a/n: well I was planning out a different piece and this one formed like completely done in my head so…

a/n2: also this picture of charles is just fucking godlike 👌🏻👌🏻

scuderiaferrari

liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, cl16wife, and 2,123,294 others

tagged: charles_leclerc, carlossainz55

scuderiaferrari: and so the season starts!!

view all comments

user1: this is gonna be our year! I can feel it

↳user2: Forza Ferrari Sempre!🏎️🏎️

↳user1: Forza Ferrari Sempre! ❤️

charles_leclerc: 😁 it’s good to be back!

↳user3: WDC incoming! All the signs point to it! Forza Ferrari Sempre!

↳charles_leclerc: Forza Ferrari Sempre!

↳user3: omg I’m gonna faint! 🥳🥰😊

user4: god could they look any hotter???

↳user5: I know right??? Like leave a little for the rest of us!

↳user6: 🕰️ timing it till cl16wife gets here…

��user7: I was just about to say the same thing 😆

↳cl16wife: I felt a disturbance in the force and I came running

↳cl16wife: holy shit I’m wet

↳cl16wife: just give me one chance I’ll give you head so good it’ll change your life 🥵🥵

↳user6: 🤣 you need to keep it pg

↳user8: girlie you need to get a life

↳cl16wife: I have one and I’ve decided to devote it to being on my knees for the hottest man ever

carlossainz55: it’s great to be back!

↳landonorris: don’t sound so happy you muppet! We were supposed to go golfing this weekend!

↳carlossainz55: Ferrari first!

↳landonorris: then me right?

↳carlossainz55: no

↳landonorris: what!!

↳carlossainz55: you rank about 10th

↳landonorris: WHAT!!

↳user9: I’ll put you first!

↳landonorris: I’m good with 10th

cl16wife: god please just give me one chance 🙏🙏

↳user10: girl I think he might give you a restraining order

twitter

cl16wife

liked by user, user, user and 234,455 others

cl16wife: my man being a whore on main…🤤🥵

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user11: girl… I see the vision

user12: this is disgusting behavior. Just because he’s an athlete doesn’t mean you have the right to objectify him

↳cl16wife: you’re the one who followed me and this has been the type of content on my page for years. Leave or shut up

user13: I knew as soon as I saw his photo dump cl16wife would be there

↳cl16wife: my man be looking fine as fuck lately. Of course I’m gonna be there

cl16wife: doggy, missionary, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, cuddlefuck, side fuck, mating press, 69, upside down, full nelson, pile driver, one leg up, tied up, in the shower, in the kitchen, on the floor, on the wall, on the couch, in the garden, on the grass, in a car, till the mattress is wrung out and soggy, till he molds it to the shape of his dick, till my throat needs stitches, till my hips are dislocated, till my pelvis snaps, till my jaw is locked, till my body is numb, till the wall paint is peeling off, till he’s shooting blanks, till the house falls apart

↳user14: I’ve got something for you!

↳cl16wife: yeah?

↳user14: it’s a bible and a restraining order Jesus Christ

↳cl16wife: sorry only accepting Charles Leclerc as a gift!

scuderiaferrari

liked by charles_leclerc, cl16wife, carlossainz55 and 1,790,469 others

tagged: charles_leclerc, carlossainz55

scuderiaferrari: and that’s how you do it! March and April were made to be Ferrari red! 5 Ferrari 1-2 wins and our Charles Leclerc is leading the championship battle with Carlos Sainz in a close second! Forza Ferrari Sempre!

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user15: I TOLD YOU! ITS OUR YEAR

↳user16: god I don’t want to get my hopes up yet but please please please 🙏🙏🙏

↳user17: I know we as Tifosi are delulu to the extreme but I think it’s finally gonna go our way! 🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽

charles_leclerc: ☺️ the world looks good from the top step

↳cl16wife: you look good on top 🥵🥵

↳user20: not on his thread girl

↳user21: boundaries! Are! Important!

↳scuderiaferrari:…👀👀👀

↳scuderiaferrari: anyway! Congratulations Charles! Our il predestinato! Forza Ferrari Sempre!

↳charles_leclerc: Forza Ferrari Sempre!

user18: is this what Red Bull fans felt like last year?

↳user19: yes. Yes it is — I don’t really like for the fact we aren’t winning this year but I guess if it hadn’t be someone leclerc is an alright option

↳user18: you can show some more enthusiasm you know — even max is proud of Charles! You should see his face when he goes to congratulate Charles

↳user19:… I guess

carlossainz55: great start!! Let’s keep the momentum up

↳scuderiaferrari: couldn’t have put it better myself chili 🌶️!!

↳scuderiaferrari: proud of both our boys up there on those podiums! Forza Ferrari Sempre!

↳carlossainz55: Forza Ferrari Sempre!

scuderiaferrari

liked by carlossainz55, charles_leclerc, cl16wife, and 2,590,278 others

tagged: charles_leclerc, carlossainz55

scuderiaferrari: heading into summer break with a commanding lead! Our il predestinato has a commanding lead with Carlos coming in strong at 2nd! We’ll be back in August just as strong!

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user22: I’m literally on my knees asking for a boring second half of the season

↳user23: no but for real. Let’s do a couple dozen laps of no crashes and no over takes

↳user22: 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

cl16wife: I am literally on my hands and knees for this man holy god

↳user24: I am literally spraying you with a water bottle

↳cl16wife: leave me alone! I’m just a girl

↳user24: you’re totally not

↳cl16wife: 🥲😭😢

charles_leclerc: you flatter me 🥰

↳user25: you’ve got this Charles!! WDC incoming!!

↳user26: our il predestinato!!

↳user27: woohoo!! Forza Ferrari Sempre!

↳maxverstappen1: congrats Charles

↳charles_leclerc: merci!

↳maxverstappen1: don’t get used to it however. I’m gonna make you work for it in August

↳charles_leclerc: like you did in the first half?

↳maxverstappen1: 😑

carlossainz55: we look good in 1-2!

↳charles_leclerc: we do! We’ll just have to keep doing it!

↳carlossainz55: ¡Absolutamente!

Private Messages

twitter

twitter

user28: and when I say something controversial?

↳user29: I’m sat. I’m listening.

↳user28: I think it’s Charles Leclerc and cl16wife

↳user29: what???

↳user28: ok no but listen

↳user28: whoever is that fan account has been relentlessly flirting and thirsting over Charles on his own page AND ON the official Ferrari page

↳user28: they are legitimately the first or second to like the new posts and comment on them

↳user28: and they haven’t been reported yet! Ferrari reports people fast for that kind of behavior on the official account

↳user28: but cl16wife? They back off at like the exact right time so that they don’t get caught

↳user28: so not only do I think it’s Charles and the fan account — I think the fan account and the official account are run by the same person

↳user29:…

↳user29: ok let’s get you back to bed now

↳user29: NURSE! She’s out again!

↳user28: just wait and see. I know I’m right

charles_leclerc

liked by arthur_leclerc, maxverstappen1, and 2,778,445 others

charles_leclerc: break time means boat time ☺️

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user30: hot hot hot 🥵

↳user31: yes yes he’s hot BUT WHAT ABOUT THOSE 3RD AND 4TH PHOTOS?!????

↳user31: THAT IS A WOMENS HAND

user32: Charles!! Explain! Yourself!!!

↳user33: since when does he have a girlfriend????

↳user32: THATS WHAT WE ALL WANT TO KNOW!!!

arthur_leclerc: without your favorite brother?

↳charles_leclerc: Enzo was busy?

↳arthur_leclerc: the betrayal…

↳charles_leclerc: 🤷🏼‍♂️

user34: ok but where is cl16wife?? That’s 2 shirtless photos of Charles and she’s been quiet

↳user35: right? She’s usually the first to like and comment

↳user28: I TOLD YOU!!

↳user29: oh my god you’ve escaped containment. Let it go

↳user28: CHARLES IS DATING CL16WIFE

↳user29: 🤦

user36: ok but he knows what he’s doing…that little smiley face at the end??? Such a cunty move

↳user37: right? Drops a photo dump with some SHIRTLESS photos and a new GIRLDFRIEND?? And just leaves us with a demure little emoji…

cl16wife

liked by charles_leclerc, user, user, and 882,445 others

tagged: charles_leclerc, carlossainz55

cl16wife: CHARLES LECLERC IS YOUR WORLD CHAMPION! IL PREDESTINATO HAS DONE IT!!

CARLOS SAINZ IS YOUR VICE CHAMPION!

FERRARI IS THE CONSTRUCTORS CHAMPION!

What an amazing season this has been! Congrats again to Charles and Carlos!

FORZA FERRARI SEMPRE!!

view all comments

user38: OH! MY! GOD!!

↳user39: YOU’RE THE FERRARI ADMIN

↳user28: I FUCKING TOLD YOU BITCHES

↳user40: oh my good I can’t believe you’re right

user41: plot twist of the fucking century

↳user42: am I drunk? Like did I imbue something somehow???

charles_leclerc: chérie cl16wife

↳cl16wife: yes?

↳cl16wife: oh shit

cl16wife

Private Messages

cl16wife

liked by charles_leclerc, user, user, and 1,753,532 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

cl16wife: lol i knew wag life would suit me better anyway 😂😂

Btw he’s MINE SO WATCH YOURSELVES

comments have been restricted on this post

charles_leclerc: awwww 🥰🥰🥰 chérie…any life where you’re by my side suit you

charles_leclerc: and you’re mine too

charles_leclerc: and you made a lot of promises this season🧎🧎 …

↳cl16wife: literally sprinting to you right now 🤤🥵

[sethsclearwater]

Paul headcanon right now—he’s definitely the type of guy to drive besides you if you have a tantrum, you insisting that you’re walking home after a petty argument but he wouldn’t leave you to walk alone duh. He’s 100% super protective and if it came to it he’d just throw you over his shoulder, with you kicking at his back.

UGHH I love him so much

-⭐️

PLEASE HE SO WOULD LMAO

...

"i told you i don't wanna look at you right now lahote!" you called when you realized that your imprinter was most definitely pulling up beside you in his car. despite the fact that it was pouring outside and you were already soaked, you had decided you'd rather walk back to your apartment in the rain than deal with arguing with paul over his family drama.

when paul didn't respond after a few moments, you decided to peek over your shoulder only to see him getting out of the car and striding over to you, "so fuckin' dramatic," he grumbled, low enough that you barely caught it but you did and immediately gasped, taking a step back from him.

"get in the car y/n," he ordered, clearly getting irritated over how wet you both now were getting thanks to your decision to walk home in the rain.

he rarely used your first name, generally only calling you pet names so you knew he was just as annoyed as you suspected he was. still, you decided to stand your ground and shook your head, "i already told you i don't wanna look at you," you countered, spinning back around so you could continue your miserable walk home in the freezing rain.

before you could even take a step, paul's hands were on your hips, spinning you around so he could throw you over his shoulder, "don't gotta look at me," you could tell he was rolling his eyes as he said it and you were immediately kicking your legs in every way possible to try and get him to put you down.

"put me down right now lahote!" you yelled despite your futile attempts to get out of his grip. paul was rolling his eyes again, not seeming to have much difficulty keeping you restrained as he pulled the passenger side door of his car open.

he was setting you down inside, sliding one hand to rest behind your head so he could be sure you wouldn't give yourself a concussion while you tried squirming away, "sit still," he ordered, voice somehow more firm with you than it had been a few moments prior which had you pausing your thrashing for a moment to look up at him, a flabbergasted look on your face as he buckled you in.

once he was confident you wouldn't be trying to run away, he crouched down next to you and allowed his eyes to meet yours, his gaze softening a bit when he saw the angry tears streaming down your cheeks.

"i'll drive you home," he reassured, "and then you don't gotta look at me until you want to, yea?" he suggested, sliding both of his hands over your thighs, the material of your leggings now soaked from the weather.

you sucked in a breath, not trusting yourself enough to talk yet so you settled for giving him a small nod which he seemed to find acceptable. he gave your thighs a gentle squeeze before he was getting up and shutting the passenger door, quickly coming around the car so he could get in the driver's side.

you had your arms crossed over your chest in a silent protest as he drove you back to your apartment, the drive only taking a few minutes before he was pulling into the parking lot.

once he had the car in park again, you allowed your gaze to drift over to him, "you gonna walk me in too?" you asked. you had intended for it to come across as sarcastic but instead your voice just came out much weaker than you'd anticipated which had paul letting out a heavy sigh.

he didn't want to rile you up anymore than you already were but he couldn't help how anxious he got at the thought of sending you inside alone so he settled for responding with a simple, "that's the plan."

you let out an equally heavy sigh, slumping back into the seat as paul got out of the car and came around to your side, pulling the door open for you, "i'll be quick," he reassured, crouching back down for a moment so he could uncross your arms and take your hands into his, "come on, yea?" he asked, waiting for you to nod before he was helping you get unbuckled and out of his car.

he was nothing if not a man of his word, staying silent as he guided you into your apartment complex, one hand on your lower back while he walked you to your door just as he said he would.

you fumbled with your keys, taking a few moments too long to open the door thanks to your shivering and the surging emotions currently going through your system. once you finally got the door opened, you stepped inside, quickly kicking your shoes off before you were spinning around to face paul who was patiently waiting in the door frame.

you really wished you could've come up with some kind of snarky remark to get rid of him but instead just found yourself staring at him, at a loss for words. your gaze was drifting down before you could catch yourself and you couldn't help the way you stared at the way his thin t-shirt was clinging to his skin.

"fuck it," you murmured to yourself, immediately stepping towards him so you could smash your lips against his. paul didn't hesitate before he was reciprocating and slamming you up against the wall.