#and they can be difficult people to love and help and be around

[makeitmakesomesense]

The Early Morning

Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Word Count: 1.8k

A/N: Day 5: I've merged a lovely request from a lovely friend with the @taylorswiftmicrofic prompt for the 5th of January, which is 'blind'.

It is just past the middle of the night. You have officially entered the early morning. You find yourself awake. You went to sleep right after your last mission. This is your consequence. 

You don’t try to fight it, instead you roll out of your bed and make your way to get something to drink. Ever since Vision and Wanda have become part of the Avengers, things have been a little different. You’ve all done your best to welcome them to the team, but they have kept to themselves far more than you expected. The changing dynamics have been something to adjust to.

You let yourself enjoy the easy peace of the quiet nighttime. 

You walk to the kitchen and freeze for a second. 

Wanda is sitting at the dining table. Her hair is wet. Her face is ashen and her hands are cupping a hot mug of tea. Her eyes flit wearily to you. 

You hesitate, not sure how to approach. You’ve never spoken to her alone.

‘You okay?’

Wanda turns back to her tea, she doesn’t answer. 

You watch the ends of her hair drip onto the tiled floor. 

You refill the kettle and turn it on. You take a seat next to her. 

Wanda’s wearing a grey sweater. It’s too big for her. The sleeves have ridden up and her forearms are exposed. Goosebumps coat her skin. 

You try again. Something more direct. 

‘Are you cold?’

Wanda’s eyes meet yours and you know that she is. 

The kettle boils and you stand up, your hand touches her shoulder as you pass by. You feel her shudder.

You bring her a new mug. The steam curls promisingly above the liquid. Wanda leans over it. Her hands wrap around the ceramic, even though it must be burning hot. She shudders again and closes her eyes.

You sit next to her with your own mug and think.

Dim light seeps through the large windows and illuminates Wanda’s face. Her eyes have dark shadows under them. You can tell she must not be sleeping. You wonder where Vision is.

As if she can read your thoughts (and you can’t help wondering if she can). Wanda answers your silent question.

‘Viz doesn’t sleep. Not like people do. It’s more... robotic.’

You picture immediately a long cable connecting the android to a computer. You push down the ridiculous image that's probably not so far from the truth. You nod at Wanda silently encouraging her to continue. 

‘At night, he goes offline. Really offline. Missiles could go off and he’d be blind to it.’

You try to understand the subtext of Wanda’s words. There’s a strange suspense to your next question, it is the possibility that she might say yes. 

‘Do you worry about that? About missiles going off?’

Wanda smiles at you. Her head tilts. It could be playful if her eyes weren’t full of pain. 

‘It’s all I worry about.’

You give a half smile back, you know it doesn’t reach your eyes. 

‘I’ve done all my sleeping for tonight.’ You tell her carefully. ‘If you want someone there… someone awake. I was going to watch a movie anyway and I can put on headphones.’

Wanda takes her first sip of the slowly cooling tea. 

‘Thank you.’ She says a moment later, her small smile now weighted with relief.

Wanda follows you back to your room that night. She waits for you to prop some pillows against the headboard and lie back on one side of the bed. She falls readily onto the other side of the mattress. 

She’s not self conscious, not like you’d half expected. 

She sinks into the bed like it’s been calling her for days. You listen to her breathing even out before you put on your headphones.

.

It becomes a routine of sorts. Your new sleep schedule is not nearly as difficult as you expect. You switch your mindless after-dinner screen time with an early nap.

Wanda knocks on your door in the early hours of each morning. You plug in some headphones and watch whatever film you can think of.

Wanda lies beside you. Now that the worst of the sleep deprivation has abated, she is slower to fall asleep. Sometimes you even talk for a few minutes, about the day before or the film you’re planning to watch. 

It’s easy to talk to Wanda, much easier than you ever expected. You try to understand the distance she’s always kept from everyone on the team except Vision.

Each morning, you wait patiently for the inevitable long pause in coversation, for the moment that her eyelids slowly start to close. 

There is something comforting about her steady breathing beside you.

It is too easy to be comfortable. Despite your best efforts, it only takes a week for you to become lulled to near sleep yourself. 

You’re not quite asleep, you’re still following along with the dialogue from the movie. But your mind has drifted and your eyes have closed. 

They fly open at the first feeling of movement beside you. You startle suddenly as you understand your inadvertent mistake. You move backwards unthinkingly and hit your head sharply on the edge of the headboard.

You hiss out and apologise automatically. 

Wanda is still lying in the bed next to you, she has turned to face you. Her head is resting on the pillow. She looks exhausted with a different kind of fatigue. She sits up very carefully, as if her presence is inherently scary.

You don’t know how to explain. That your automatic panic came only from the disorientation of nearly falling asleep by mistake. 

Wanda speaks before you can. Her mouth twists into the same bitter smile that you’ve seen once before. She is watching you rub the sore spot at the back of your head.

‘It’s your amygdala.’ She explains.

‘What?’ You ask unsurely.

‘That’s why you’re afraid.’ 

‘My amygdala.’ You repeat dumbly.

‘Yes. Vision explained it once. It’s what makes you afraid of me, even if you don’t want to be.’ Her words are rehearsed. They sound calm but you can hear something else simmering behind them. ‘Your amygdala knows the danger that comes with being near me.’

‘And what about Vision’s amygdala?’ You ask sharply, suddenly hating the implications of her words. ‘How does he manage?’

‘It’s synthetic.’ 

‘That’s lucky.’ You comment dryly.

She stares at you seriously. An overwhelming loneliness fills her eyes. 

‘Yes.’ Wanda says quietly, looking down at the bedspread. ‘It is.’

You watch Wanda leave. 

.

You spend the day caught between a wish to apologise and a lingering uncertainty that something else is wrong. Something more complicated than you’d realised.

You seek out Natasha in the end, trusting her advice and needing someone to speak to. You find her as she’s leaving a boardroom after a meeting. She invites you back into the room and you sit together. You start to tell her about Wanda. You try to state the facts. The sleep deprivation. Vision’s words. Her isolation from the team. 

You hope you don’t sound biased, you hope your concern doesn’t seem excessive.

Natasha’s lips twist and you can tell she doesn’t like the details either. She tells you other things, small moments she’s noticed. Their separate meals from the rest of you. His frequent appearances in Wanda’s room without warning. How it's the one thing he can’t seem to learn not to do. A sudden lengthy monologue about the benefits of Stark’s technology, unaware of Wanda stiffened posture beside him.  

You exchange a long look with Natasha, it holds something that you recognise in your bones.

You decide to worry together. 

.

That night you find Wanda before the time she usually comes to your room. It is just past midnight and she is sitting at the dining table. Her dark hair is wet again. 

She startles violently when you call her name. Her shoulders relax immediately as she turns to find you. 

Wanda stands suddenly and moves to the kitchen counter. You watch her refill the kettle and turn it on. She takes out two mugs. She smiles at you again. There’s relief in it. 

‘Good evening.’ She says at last. Her fingers tap out a steady rhythm against the marble countertop. 

She notices you watching and her hand stills suddenly. She stares down at her fingers. Her mouth closes and her jaw ticks. She is lost in thought. You know she is remembering your last encounter.

This time, you speak first. You start slowly.

‘I’m not afraid of you.’ You tell her carefully. 

Wanda doesn’t look up. You watch the familiar bitter smile that makes your gut twist unhappily.

‘Then you are not paying attention.’ She says simply. 

‘I am.’ You counter stubbornly. 

‘We can’t change who we are.’ Her voice is monotone and you can tell that she is quoting someone else. ‘We can’t relinquish the dangers that comes with our power.’

‘But we can always have family.’ Your argument is quiet. ‘We can still have love and care. We can forgive ourselves for who we are.’

Wanda goes very still. After a moment, she reaches for the kettle that has now boiled. You watch her pour the water into the two waiting mugs.

‘Vision -’ She begins at last, looking at you unsurely. ‘It’s hard’

‘What is?’ 

She hands you a mug of tea and you watch her grip her own drink like it’s a life support system. 

‘He would never do the things I’ve done.’ Her voice cracks with barely repressed guilt. ‘It can be hard to not feel alone.’ 

You drink your tea and watch her for a moment. Wanda's breathing is shallow. Her pupils have dilated in the dim light. Her dark eyes are watching you, waiting. 

‘I would’ve.’ You confess softly. ‘If I’d been you. I think I would have done the same things.’

A thousand emotions flit through Wanda's expression. It settles somewhere between fear and longing.

You move forward and place your mug on the countertop, carefully you take Wanda’s from her too. When her hands are free, you hold them gently in your own. 

She grips them tightly. You can feel her shaking. 

‘Do you want to get out of here?’ You offer softly. ‘Just for a few days. We can borrow a car. We can go right now.’

Wanda is so close to you now. You feel the hitch in her breath as you much as you hear it.

Wanda’s expression fills with the same look of longing and she glances outside at the full moon that is brightening the darkest part of the night. 

‘Viz’ll wake up soon.’ She hesitates. ‘He hates it when I leave this place.’

You shake your head. You give her a small smile. ‘Natasha said they’re using his offline time tonight to update some of his old programming. Getting rid of some of the biases that Tony created back when it was only Jarvis.’

You pause. Wanda is looking at you like the world is something new again.

‘We have time.’ You tell her and it feels like a promise. 

Her small smile is full of sudden happiness.

Wanda leans forward and her head rests against your shoulder. There is a weightlessness to her tired relief.

You are grateful that your amygdala is very real. That you can feel this entirely.

‘Okay’ She says finally against your shirt. ‘Do you mind if I sleep while you drive?’

You laugh and wrap your arms around her. The wet ends of her hair drip onto your arms.

You leave the Compound before the sun has risen.

.

.

Requests are still very welcome for future January fics. More info in the pinned post if you're interested in requesting. <3

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[poeticblissme]

I will be as honest as possible when I answer this because I truly know and understand your struggle, and I want to be as transparent with my thoughts and feelings on this to properly try my best to help you see a different perspective so bare with me it may be a bit wordy.

I have spent a good amount of my life wishing I could do things in the entertainment industry. I have memorized countless movies since I was 8, even before that really. My whole heart is into doing things like acting, it’s been a Dream of mine to be on movies and stages. However, it has been countless dead ends for me. I would fall off because I felt like it was never going anywhere, that and I am constantly stuck doing jobs and things I absolutely detest, knowing where my heart is at. But I also felt unworthy, I felt like there are others who are clearly better than me, that I had no real space to even try it because of everything else never worked out for me? Why would something I actually enjoy and want to do for the rest of my life work out.

Over the years, I feel into deep stages of sadness and bitterness because I saw others succeed, I have seen people who have done less receive more and I had a fear that if I try, it was just bound to fail. My family have talents, and the one I love I don’t even feel I’m fully good at because I’ve seen how others do so much better. I can’t do much, I don’t and can’t do what I see everyone else can. I looked at myself as ordinary and unimportant. So I stopped trying. I stopped looking. I wanted to give up entirely because feeling empty was better than facing this crippling mindset that made it hard to breathe.

However, around 2020, when the pandemic came around, I got more into spirituality. And through those months of me finding myself again, I started taken small intricate steps to try and change this mindset. It was so hard, the amount of self accountability I had to learn for what I love and what I let my mind control in terms of outward action was difficult, but I can tell you what I have learned and I hope this gives you a piece of hope or motivation to take these steps even with your fear.

As a human being, it is natural to be afraid to do something you feel in your heart is good for you. Be it a passion, a relationship, or anything that forces you to step out of your comfort zone to do something you never imaged for yourself before. You will not know what you are doing sometimes but that is apart of the journey, you don’t know what your doing until you have done it enough times that you finally do know what to do and integrate that into your life slowly but surely. The point is to put in the effort anyway because you have that feeling that it is something that will make you happy. Trying is the reassurance to your soul.

The feeling of being stuck is your survival and comfort mindset trying to keep you where you think you are safe. If this is something you feel you want to pursue, then you have to force yourself to propel yourself forward, you have to work with that fear, make mistakes, ask the questions, do the research, experience the experience of the unknown fully, otherwise you will live with the regret of what could have been.

I have done so much since I started this little journey of mine. I have done things I never imaged myself doing, and now I am in a place where I do still yearn for more, but I am also in a state of gratitude because I have gone so much father than I thought I would when I had stopped trying completely. I am not fully in the place I want to be, but the places I have been are motivation for me to keep trying because I know that it is indeed possible somehow someway. The things I didn’t know, now I do. The things I still don’t know scare me, but I am doing my best to open to the unknown and let it make me better and stronger so that when (Yes not if, when) the next pieces of my dream come to me, I will be even more ready than I was the day before.

All of this to say, Please. Please chase that dream of publishing your book. Even if you feel afraid, take your hand and slowly guide your feet toward the shore line. Dip your toes in slowly and learn how the water feels, step on a shell every now and again, take the pain and confusion and learn from it so when you step on it again it does not hurt as much, and then you will learn how to avoid the shell completely. Before you know it, you will have completely submerged yourself in the waters you were afraid to go into, and your life will fill that much more full because you took those steps you were once afraid to take. 🤍🖤

I’m gonna confess something here, gonna get real raw with it.

But I think, no I know, I am terrified of trying.

I so desperately want to publish a novel, multiple even. I have them in the bag. But I am so scared of moving forward even an inch.

I have been writing since I was ten, I have been doing these monster stories since 2017.

And I have gone nowhere.

I am so frightened of the next steps. I believe if I don’t know what I’m doing I can’t do anything.

I’ve been working this out in therapy but like…I do feel stuck. I’ve imbedded myself so much here and in comfort I don’t know what to do.

What do I do? How do I publish? Who do I ask?

Is it me? Do I have to do this now?

I wanted to say this, in hopes putting it out there I can pull myself out of the complacent pit I’ve made and move along. But yeah, I’m terrified and I really have no clue what to do. Everyone else who is publishing seems so far ahead and they know everything. But, maybe that’s also an excuse for myself I need to face.

[heylittleriotact]

First Line/First Page: Fuck It, We Ball Edition ™️

@emmg tagged me and shared a nightmare inducing portion of whatever fresh hell she’s working on that features an absolutely fucking TERRIFYING take on EmmLich, so you can mark me down as scared and horny.

I’m tagging @xxnashiraxx, @allofthebarks, and @preciouslittlebhaalbae

This is the first page of my smutty imagining of Emmrich and Rook’s dinner date in the Necropolis - you’ll have to stay tuned for the smut though, I’m afraid - it’s a bit further down the WIP💀

🩷💀🩷

Neve was right - I should have worn the old shoes…

She shifted her thigh upward slightly and pressed the ball of her foot into the ground, freeing her right heel from stiff new leather and hiding her grimace of relief behind the rim of her wine glass as she wriggled her somewhat crushed toes now that they weren’t crammed together, fighting for space in the narrow toe box.

There were a perfectly good pair of well broken in heels sitting in her wardrobe back at the Lighthouse that would have been more than acceptable to wear to dinner with Emmrich, but no, she had to go to Dock Town earlier in the day with Neve who had all but insisted she buy herself something nice for the occasion.

‘Not saying you don’t know how to clean up - I know you Watchers are a well put together bunch, but I don’t know… maybe you’ll have a nicer evening if you’re not sitting across from Emmrich wearing the same clothes you wear to make funeral arrangements with people?’

‘I’m almost certain he’ll be sitting across from me wearing the same clothes he wears to make funeral arrangements with people,’ Amina had pointed out, and Neve laughed.

‘How sure are you about that? I’d put my money on him showing up in the most formal, four-piece ensemble he owns if it helps his chances of getting you into bed tonight.’

She had a point - not about sex. She knew perfectly well that months of burning tension shrouded under a polite mantle of academic professionalism had become increasingly difficult to ignore now that they were… well - now that they were… together. That particular shoe was going to have to drop sooner rather than later, unless… She wrinkled her nose at the very thought: unless he was the sort to take a courtship so seriously that abstinence from intimate activities was expected until she shared his last name…

No… surely not. Not judging by the way his hands wandered and his lips eagerly roamed her throat when he kissed her against the Lovers’ Grave.

All well and good, but she didn’t want to overdress for the occasion - how embarrassing would that be? How obnoxious?

Her face reddened at the imagined awkwardness of waiting for Emmrich at the eluvian, dressed in a floor-skimming evening gown and gloves, her mass of sleek black hair time-consumingly plaited and pinned up to emphasize the small amount of grave gold that she did own, retrieved from its dusty velvet lined box for the first time in years because she hasn’t had occasion - nor the desire to actually wear any of it - unlike her gentlemanly new companion who clanged and clattered around everywhere he went like a sentient drawer of silverware.

He’d inevitably appear, descending the stairs from the library wearing what he wore every day - that well-loved waistcoat, a crisp clean shirt, and his favoured combed Druffalo wool trousers. He’d look as handsome as always, and not at all underdressed for a romantic dinner in the Necropolis, and his eyes would widen at the spectacle of her dressed like she was off for cocktails with the King of Ferelden. The corners of his mouth would twitch and he’d clear his throat in an attempt to stifle his laughter.

At her.

At how entirely stupid she looked.

‘It’s dinner - not a wedding proposal, Neve.’

‘If you say so, but if there’s a cummerbund involved, you owe me five gold.’

‘He wears a cummerbund every day,’ she sighed, turning and pulling open the door to one of the many clothing boutiques populating the market district.

[nashdoesstuff]

crest RAMBLES because i’m so normal about him <- i am regular

okay so. first and foremost crest is my take on nicemare. because i don’t really like a lot of interpretations of nicemare,, that’s just my opinion, though— i don’t like them much really but i do think they have potential!! so i gave it a shot and crescent is the result of that.

here he is!! my goober ever <3

second. he and his sister [celeste] were born in around the late 1550s. no specific birthdate [yet] but they were born in that decade. crest stood by the tree as per usual, defending nim’s new form as best he could, even if it didn’t go to plan sometimes.

during the apple incident, he only ate around half of the apples on the tree before the villagers started attacking him, so a lot of them were left to roam the universe after crest fled. celeste was put into stone with a spell after crest finished killing every villager, mostly because he was scared of hurting her with the new magic that had overcome him and that was beyond his control at the time.

he was. very sick. throughout the first year of his corruption. in this multiverse the apples make their consumer feel sick and nauseous, alongside other side affects. these can last or worsen, depending on how many apples are consumed. in crest’s case, since they were around 500, he was sick for several months, staying in one universe and mourning what he presumed was the loss of his sister, and the actual loss of his mother, whom he killed accidentally. due to the fact he never consumed every apple, “passive’s” soul was not lost, and crescent still controls his own body. his corruption only controls his body when crescent is angrier or influenced by surrounding negative energy. this can be best shown through crest’s eyelight— which typically is blue and purple [this is also known as crest’s ‘neutral’ state.] when it is entirely violet, crescent is usually showing genuine, strong positive emotions, or experiencing sadness, fear, or likewise. when his eyelight is entirely blue/cyan, his corruption has the majority of the control, and crest has a lack of sympathy. fortunately, entire corruption rarely ever occurs, only in situations of anger or extreme negativity.

he travelled the multiverse young, and stood in one universe for the rest of his childhood until he decided to travel again. he stood in another universe after falling in love with someone for some 20+ years, leaving a month after said lover’s death. after that occurred, he began to live loosely, only staying in a universe for at most a week or two before departing once again. this changed in the 1800s when he found an abandoned castle and called it his home.

his sister awoke from stone in the year 2065, in which you may remember from this comic where crest recalls celeste disowning him. after this happened and celeste befriended ink, crest met killer, horror, and dust, alongside cross who joined them two years later. crest treats his boys like family, and is a father figure of sorts to them. [sound familiar?]

after celeste’s corruption, he made a truce with ink to help both of them fight her off. as time passed, however, the two became closer and closer and eventually fell in love. they married around a year into their relationship.

now, my main issue with nicemare universes is they never really put reason to nightmare’s kindness. why is it that nightmare is seen as heartless to everyone but kind only to those who know him closely?

my explanation for this is crest’s requirement for other’s suffering. his corruption requires him to feed on the suffering of other people, even if he doesn’t want it. so, he goes to universes and harms them, only because he must. due to this, people find it more difficult to trust him. however, since his boys know and trust him, they deem him as the kind-hearted guardian he is ^^

additionally, as to why he’s nice, i think he used to Not Be. like he wasn’t too kind in his childhood. he used to get into fights and didn’t socialize, blah blah. these events occurred most frequently before the age of 13 because he was just on edge due to everything that had occurred in the village and had a very difficult time seeing that others weren’t going to hurt him. but as his magic developed and he was able to better feel the intentions of others, he grew to understand other people much easier than he was able in the years prior. he managed to grow out of that “guilty until proven innocent” mindset, and made some acquaintances and even developed some feelings for boys he grew up around. 

so! some fun facts about crest:

he is an avid tea and coffee drinker. he has coffee once in the mornings, and jasmine tea twice or more a day. he drinks coffee for energy since he doesn’t sleep ^^

he is gay! he would rather watch paint dry than kiss a woman

originally, he had a lot of internalized homophobia. he was told being queer was wrong growing up, so when he found out he was he Hated Himself for it. it wasn’t until he met his first boyfriend when he realized it was okay to be gay, and even after he passed he thought his partner’s death was caused by a higher deity being angry with them for loving each other. he only stopped believing this in the mid-1900s. 

crest is autistic and has some difficulty with social cues. he runs the castle on a strict schedule, only barely changing it. he rotates between 3-4 outfits and refuses to wear anything else unless it is an occasion. he also hates velvety textures, and cannot wear any sort of fabrics/textiles on his hands without freaking out about it. this includes bandages, gloves, and fabric on his hands for a prolonged period of time. this also extends to touch— long-term hand holding or unauthorized touching makes him extremely anxious. basically, if anything is on his hands that he doesn’t want on there, he will Not like it. his special interest could be considered the multiverse.

he does like rings though! he wears five in total.

he isn’t very fond of corrupt dream/positivity guardian variants. he just. doesn’t like them. his sister scares him enough.

he has a type when it comes to love interests: artists. he loves artists of any kind— his first boyfriend was a musician, and ink’s… ink. any other crushes he had were either painters, musicians, writers, or actors.

crest does doodle on occasion, mostly in journals he uses to take notes around the multiverse. he’s been keeping journals since adulthood, and has kept all of them since. he keeps all of his journals on a bookshelf in his office, and he has a total of 200+ journals, some specialized in certain universes and others moreso as travel diaries.

he primarily listens to classical and acoustic music. he has a record player and refuses to use anything else to listen to music in his free time.

he is 5’0”.

crest is insecure about his body, particularly his goop/negativity coating. he sees it as a reminder of the worst day of his life.

yeagh i’m normal about him. anyways feel free to ask me questions about him. thumbs up emoji

[tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang]

Yo! I hope you're doing well. Actually i'm really confused why Mikey is ranked as the worst boyfriend when i think about it (yk in the Character book) i mean...why?! He's really affectionate and gentle in my opinion aside from his dark impulses because they don't define him

But takemichi ends up saying "he's hard to be around with, like a spinning wheel a bit intimidating" :D

Ok I'm gonna start this off by saying I really like Mikey and I don't think he would be a bad boyfriend however I think I do get why he was put there. It's also important to remember Mikey was put there in the toman character book so only his time in toman is going to be taken into consideration here. Mikey is difficult, there is a reason multiple character's get annoyed him and he is very difficult. Mikey is demanding, stubborn and can be quite selfish at times (we see him getting annoyed over no kids meal flag, he interrupts Takemichi while he's at school, and frequently doesn't listen to others). He's also immature and doesn't always think others or how his actions effect others (we see Draken has to help Mikey attend school otherwise he won't go and Mikey refuses to apologise multiple times when he makes a mistake, he also refuses to bow to that girls parents until Draken makes him and doesn't realise toman is breaking apart because of his feud with Draken until Takemichi tells him). None of these are particularly good traits to have when dating someone.

It's also important to remember he is a gang leader in Japan in 2005 which is going to make things not only potentially dangerous for anyone he dates (like what happened to Pah's friend's girlfriend) but is also probably going to make a lot of people not interested in him as a partner (he is a teen while in toman so if he dated here it would be another teen, so even if they were fine with it, there could be potential issues with their parents or family (kinda similar to what happened with Takemichi and Hina's dad). There's also the whole dark impulses thing but I don't think I need to explain that one.

So although Mikey is very protective, loyal, caring and shows some consideration towards the people he loves, he's also a handful. Though I think by the time we hit the good timeline future he's probably grown out of a bunch of these behaviours or they're at least not as bad since he's matured a bit. I also don't think Mikey would be a bad boyfriend back then either, it's just a bunch of the others would be better choices, like he's the worst but not bad. And it's also important to remember these are Wakui's choices, based on what he thinks a good boyfriend would be. It's normal for people to have different standards and opinions on this though, so if you don't agree it just means you look for different qualities in partners which is fine.

[scribbledghost]

Safe and Sound

Pairing: inhuman!polyvessels x reader

Rating: T

Word count: 1,290

Summary: You spend a quiet winter day curled up in bed with the four vessels.

Notes: We're getting a ton of snow where I am right now and I just really wanted something soft and cozy so I wrote it. Tons of fluff (gets slightly suggestive in the middle but doesn't go anywhere), many kisses, and probably lethal amounts of cheese. I regret nothing.

The world outside the manor is quiet, a thick blanket of snow covering everything in sight. The sun has long since risen, but life has yet to return to the landscape.

Meanwhile, inside the sprawling place you call home, warmth and a gentle silence permeate the atmosphere.

There are many fireplaces scattered around the structure, and the fact they always seem to be well-kept despite little effort on anyone's part makes you think it may be the house itself keeping the blazes stoked and roaring. Of course, it may also be through some as-yet-undiscussed power of one of your housemates, but you have yet to ask properly.

The four demi-humans you live with have different needs than you do, but they have taken great care to ensure yours are always met. You aren't even sure if they can feel heat or cold, and yet your home is always the perfect temperature for you. Today is no different.

Of course, having all five of you curled up together in one massive bed certainly helps keep you warm.

It's not at all unusual for multiple people to end up in one bed. All of you have a habit of stumbling out of your rooms and towards another when the night becomes too dark and quiet. In fact, it's more common for at least two or three people to be in one bed than it is for all of you to sleep separately.

The perks of having four partners all connected by varying degrees of telepathic communication, you suppose.

"Are you comfortable, my heart?"

Vessel's dulcet tone cuts through the quiet, barely intelligible over III's snoring and the crackling of the fireplace across the room.

You turn your head slightly to nudge your nose against his, pressing a kiss to his lips.

"Yes I am. Are you?"

Vessel only hums softly in response, his six eyes softening as he meets your gaze.

The rest of the vessels are still asleep around you. II is at your side opposite of Vessel, one arm slung over your middle while his face is buried in your neck, his even breaths fanning across your skin. IV is curled into Vessel's back, quiet grumbles emanating from him as he shifts. III, meanwhile, is sprawled across all of you, his head on your chest and his limbs stretched.

"All of my boys here in the same place, warm and safe," you muse. "I always feel better when we're all together."

Vessel hums softly again, one of his hands coming to rest atop III's to absentmindedly play with his hair.

"I understand," he says. "There is a certain sense of security knowing your loved ones are all present."

Suddenly, a particularly loud snort from III breaks the tranquility, and he jolts awake.

"You okay?" you ask. III shifts, turning his head to give you a lopsided, tired grin.

"Hiya, love," he says, voice thick with sleep. Your head tilts up, III's nose nudging it upward so he can nibble at the skin just below your chin. His extended canine teeth sting just slightly, but none of his movements are firm enough to draw blood.

You know this move. And you know where it leads.

"Mm, easy, love. Too tired for that," you say gently.

However, being firm is difficult when Vessel is also alternating between kissing your temple and nipping at your earlobe.

"Don't have to do anything, beloved," Vessel all but croons. "Just lie back and let the four of us do the work."

"I think II and IV might have a problem with that, seeing as they're still asleep," you murmur.

"They'll live," III says, his tongue now laving against your throat.

"I'm serious, quit it!" you whisper loudly with a laugh. "I'm comfortable!"

The pair cease their assault, a soft chuckle emanating from them both. Quick kisses are places on your cheek and lips, with III nuzzling his head against your chest once again. You're sure it's only a matter of time before he's asleep once more.

"You three are too loud."

This time, it's II's low voice rumbling against you. You know the faux-grumpiness is purely in jest, but you indulge him anyway.

"I'm sorry, my dear," you say, tilting your head to rest your cheek against him.

"Someone kiss me and I may consider forgiveness," he teases.

Your lips land on his first, but they're quickly followed by III's.

"Surely we've earned mercy now, hm?" you tease. "Two kisses for II?"

"Don't push it."

You and III both laugh softly as II squeezes you tighter, readjusting himself as he buries his face in your neck.

You turn to see Vessel looking at the three of you, pure softness and affection in his eyes. The sight of IV's arm slung across Vessel's waist draws your attention.

"I'm surprised he hasn't woken up yet," you muse.

Vessel gives you a look that you can't read before he reaches for IV's hand, gently bringing the latter man's knuckles to his lips.

However, it appears IV was not as asleep as you had thought. Before Vessel can react, IV uses the hand at Vessel's lips to grab him by the jaw and turn his head. One more quick shift, and IV has him in an almost bruising kiss.

It leads nowhere, and is more an admonishment for waking IV than anything else, but you still watch as IV leaves Vessel with a slightly dazed look when he pulls away.

Despite being rough with Vessel, IV is nothing but gentle with you, reaching for your hand to bring it to his lips.

"Sleep well, dove?" he asks, his voice deep with disuse.

"Sure did, thanks for askin'," III replies, his voice muffled against your shirt.

"Wasn't talkin' to you," IV deadpans, reaching over to tug at one of III's ears.

"Should've - ow! - should've been more specific then," III teases.

After a bit more lighthearted bickering between the vessels, the atmosphere returns to a soft silence. However, all attention shifts to you when you shiver slightly.

"Are you cold, my heart?" Vessel asks.

"Just a little," you admit. You're not quite sure how the chill has managed to find you beneath the furs that adorn the massive bed and the warmth of the vessels around you (or, in III's case, sprawled atop you), but it has.

III makes a move to get up and stoke the fire, but Vessel stops him with a gentle hand.

It's not terribly often that you witness Vessel communing with the manor itself - the action tends to drain him - but it's always a marvel when you do.

A soft blue glow encompasses his ey8es as his arm reaches towards the fireplace. A low hum sounds in your mind, like distantly muffled words. You wonder if the others hear something more distinct.

You can tell Vessel is straining, a slight tremble visible in his hand. Thankfully, the connection isn't terribly drawn-out, and with a whooshing sound, the fireplace roars brighter.

Vessel's eyes return to normal, and his arm and body sag back onto the mattress.

"Didn't have to do that," III mutters. "I would've gotten up."

"I know," Vessel reassures him, giving him a soft smile.

You don't need a telepathic mental connection to tell that Vessel is ready for rest once again. Reaching for him, you manage to rearrange him so his head is tucked against your shoulder.

"Rest," you command softly. He doesn't argue, and neither do the others. II curls back into your side, III is already softly snoring against your chest, and IV's breaths even out as he holds your hand.

You drift back to dreams nestled amongst the vessels, the harsh world outside the manor unable to disturb the peace found within.

[lovingsissyannabella]

Hi Welcome 💞

Hi nice to see you here 😊

I'm Isabella, 18 years old and my pronouns are she/her 💝 I'm very happy that you found my page and I hope you will have a good time here 💕

I started my Sissy journey around two years ago and I had many set backs, but now I have the time and the money to life as a real Sissy And I want YOU to do so aswell. I want you to find your own way to be a Sissy. Whether it is only kinky or it is you lifestyle 💗

On this blog I try to give advice and tipps that I gathered in the last two years. The Internet is big and it's very difficult to find what you want to find or what you need to find. That's why I hope I can help as many people with this qs possible.

If you have questions or want to chat, please Dm me or contact me in any way. I'm very open to pretty much everything.

Of course please be nice and have a nice time here 😊

💗-------------------------------💗

My kinks and interest:

○ Feminization

○ Chastity

○ BDSM

○ Bimbofication

○ Crossdressing

○ ETC.

💗-------------------------------💗

Have a nice day 🥰

Love you all 💝

[littleakito]

awww babe i saw your recent post- I'm depressed as heck lately too, so I get that feeling. Imma drop some requests that could cheer u up bc I find them cute, but don't do them if you don't feel like it!

Little Mizuki wanting to play dress up and will settle for none but Kanade as the model, so Kanade gets to be a pretty princess

wxs all regress together and go on an adventure while playing princes and princesses

Emu brings Saki, An, and Mizuki to her house and they all age regress at the same time and wreak havoc on the Ootori household

Akito agere/petre in denial so he's just studying with Toya and Mizuki when out of the blue this idiot starts growling n stuff, so then he just sits there in terrified silence until Mizuki just looks him dead in the eyes and meows back. Toya just doesn't question it. He's too sigma.

Ena stress regressing, aggressively rings the entirety of nightcord 48795893 times until they pick up and starts babytalk yapping about all her opps

﹒﹒🐾﹕﹙HEADCANNONS & SHORT FICS﹚✦◝

Before I begin on all of these, thank you so much :( I saw that note a while ago and it helped lift my spirit a bit more. 🤍 love u lots

Now! These were all such yummy awesome ideas that I felt compelled to at least attempt write about them all, I hope this offering to the community is nutritious enough to last a bit haha.

✷﹒🎵🎀﹐LITTLE! MIZUKI & CG! KANADE﹕﹪

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1　 ﹒　Mizuki owns all sorts of pretty dresses and accessories, it’s just a matter of when and where she can style them accordingly on herself! So, occasionally, stylish bows and cute scarves go unused for months at a time,, ໒꒰ྀི´ ᵔ ` ꒱ྀིა

2　 ﹒　Once she’s regressed and sat by all of her friends, however, it’s almost impossible for her not to think of having them dress up with her! Knocking off those boring sweats for sparkly tutu’s sounds like a dream come true..

3　 ﹒　Convincing them, however, may simply be the most difficult part of this masterful plan of hers! ꒰ྀི⸝⸝ -᷅ ⤙ -᷄ ⸝⸝꒱ྀི১

4　 ﹒　A shake, a whine, and some cute puppy dog eyes are her ultimate tactic! And as the rest of the group exchange glances, she can’t help but giggle and kick her feet, there’s absolutely no way they can say no to her now!

5　 ﹒　Mizuki can’t help but grin as she holds up a gorgeous, puffy pink dress towards K. Helplessly accepting it, Kanade let out a light, breathy sigh in defeat.

6　 ﹒　Her plans succeeded! Her friends look soooo cute! K, especially!

7　 ﹒　It’s not until a silly, pink princess dress is being put over her head that she’s realized that she forgot to dress herself up! She giggles and squirms as the group fits it over her tshirt, today…

..today was an excellent day!

⁺ ☆ . ✦ . 　⁺

﹙🎭﹚︰LITTLE! WxS﹐♫

⁺ ☆ . ✦ . 　⁺

1　 ﹒　Practice was meant to go as normal, play the roles, review the lines, ask questions, riddle everyone’s brains over said questions trying to figure out the answers, give up, continue playing the roles, and then finish up for the day! It was far from such.

2　 ﹒　Whether it began with THE Tsukasa Tenma forgetting his lines and being brought to the verge of tears from it, Nene’s phone dying whilst she was seeking a break behind stage, Emu’s sadder thoughts being brought into question, or Rui receiving strange looks on his way to practice, it simply wasn’t a good day for anyone!

3　 ﹒　Frustrated with these turn of events, Tsukasa initiated a plan! Plan-Regressing-Solves-All! How exactly he would manage to coerce 3 people into little space whilst still upset himself..? Hmm, a true dilemma! But nothing a star can’t fix!

4　 ﹒　It began with Emu, a simple tap on the shoulder, a long stare whilst she babbled on with a smile on her face, then, he cleared his throat. The question was simple, and yet he couldn’t help the flush on his cheeks. In his mind, “would you like to play with me?!” Wouldn’t cut it! However..

5　 ﹒　With a big, squeaky laugh, and her eyes shut tight, a smile squeezing up her face, she shook him around, agreeing with a big nod and exclamation of how “this would be so fun!”

6　 ﹒　A success! And so, the two march onward, in search of an abnormally tall purple haired little, and a rather tiny grey haired girl! In their minds, Rui and Nene needed saving! Trapped within the tower! It was Emu and Tsukasa’s great duty to save them from this terror!

7　 ﹒　Rui wasn’t that hard to find! To ask, however… ahhh. Tsukasa shakes his head, and pulls at his sleeve gently, Emu jumping in for a big big hug, nearly knocking the boy over! “Play with us, Rui! Play with us!!” Emu nearly screamed, giggling and kicking her feet. Tsukasa, in return, nodded. Rui didn’t have the heart to deny…

8　 ﹒　Rui took much longer to drop than Emu, Tsukasa noted. That wouldn’t be much of an issue, though! Besides, they had a princess to save!

9　 ﹒　Nene, sat within a corner behind the stage, curled within herself, appeared to be sniffling. The three exchanged saddened looks at this, a frown melting onto Emu’s face as she broke out into a wail, running (quicker than the other two could, Tsukasa noticed) towards the girl, babbling out questions of “are you okay?” At her.

10　 ﹒　However, none of her words seemed coherent, so, Rui stepped ahead, asking the question for her (and the rest of them!) she stared back at him with teary eyes and explained. She had overheard them! And she believed she wasn’t invited to play!

11　 ﹒　This won’t do, not one bit! And so, Tsukasa holds out a hand to her, and declares that the world must witness the prettiest princes and princesses at once!

12　 ﹒　The day very quickly comes to a close with giggles and smiles, much different than the beginning of this story!

⁺ ☆ . ✦ . 　⁺

⁺ ☆ . ✦ . 　⁺

﹢❛﹑🐕﹙LITTLE/PET!AKITO + MIZU & TOYA﹚＞＜ ⠀

1　 ﹒　Akito isn’t a fan of studying, this fact can be stated by anyone and everyone he’s ever spoken to. What he was a fan of, however, was making his partner proud.

2　 ﹒　So, when his teacher suggested after school lessons to kick his grade up a notch, he immediately sought out Toya, tail in between his legs as he began explaining his situation. Perhaps, a bit of shame was laced behind his words, but, he covered it up easily with a quick mention of Vivid BAD SQUAD, and how he was confident he wouldn’t have to miss any practices if he received a bit of help.

3　 ﹒　His brain felt fuzzy, in a way, as he began talking, it very quickly trailed off into silence and babbles of words that didn’t seem to make sense, not that he realized. Toya placed a hand onto his shoulder, and that jolted him out of his little trance, a muttered sorry coming his way.

4　 ﹒　Across the hall, Mizuki spotted Akito, a mischevious look playing onto her face as she crept up behind him. Toya eyed her, questioning what exactly she was planning on— ah..

5　 ﹒　Instead of a scream, or a yell, a bark flew her way, furrowing his eyebrows at her angrily. And yet, those words he had on his tongue to appear as rude as always disappeared. He huffed, defeated, and crossed his arms over his chest instead.

6　 ﹒　Whatever those two were talking about now didn’t matter to him, those looks he was being given, more. Had he seriously just barked at Mizuki Akiyama? What in Miku’s name was wrong with him, seriously..

7　 ﹒　It was no surprise to him that when he turned his ear away from their conversation, Mizuki had somehow found a way to join in on the studying. It wasn’t quite as if he could object to it now, anyway, they were well on their way to the spare classroom kept on the side of their school.

8　 ﹒　The studying began as boring as always, and it didn’t seem to become any less banal than ever as time progressed, and that.. stupid fuzzy feeling in his brain wouldn’t knock it off! It was enough to leave him frustrated, staring bullets at his paper.

9　 ﹒　After a bit of time, he felt different, less bored, yet still angered, and so, he growled.

10　 ﹒　Snarled and all, he rest his head against one of his hands propped up on the desk, fingers pulling at little hairs in his eyes. Toya gave him a strange look, as if he had just done something completely abnormal.

11　 ﹒　It couldn’t be more abnormal than those pants he was wearing.. and..

12　 ﹒　As much as he wanted to tell him to quit looking at him, before he had the chance, Toya’s voice sounded out, gentler than usual. His eyes softened, whether he’d admit to that or not, it was the truth. His shoulders became less stiff and his mouth was left slightly agape.

13　 ﹒　It only took him a mere 5 seconds to remember Mizuki was in the room, and so, he slumped against the desk. A light sound from in front of him was quick to appear, however, a soft, purr of a meow.

14　 ﹒　It was slightly slurred, and yet, Akito raised his head up and off of his desk to stare back at her. Meow..? Seriously, what the bark was this..

⁺ ☆ . ✦ . 　⁺

↷﹒💄﹒LITTLE! ENA & N25﹒✶

⁺ ☆ . ✦ . 　⁺

1　 ﹒　Everyday was a fight, whether Ena would admit that or not. Every waking moment was filled with some new thing for her father to scream at her over.

2　 ﹒　And so, when she sought comfort tucked within her room with a pencil and paper — a gentle melody in the back she was originally humming to — and the art began looking wonky and irregular, she huffed. It didn’t take much longer for another mistake to lead to her crumpling up the paper into her hand and letting out an angry scream at the world.

3　 ﹒　One pencil was snapped, and the pillows on her bed were now on the floor as she cried herself into a meltdown. One hand searching for her phone as the other found its way to her lips, sucking on her thumb.

4　 ﹒　Kanade was the first to join, and the first to hear her sobs of agony at every pencil and paper and father figure to have ever existed, then came Mafuyu, and lastly, Mizuki.

5　 ﹒　“Enanan..? What’s the matter?” She didn’t have an answer! Everything was the matter! Everything was wrong! Every piece of art! The Mona Lisa could burn for all she cared! She just..

6　 ﹒　She just wanted her caregivers! Was that so much to ask for..?! Her sobs and screams into her pillow started to become light sniffles as N25 worked their magic, letting her breathe without criticism.

7　 ﹒　She fell asleep nearly instantly, tears staining her face for the night.

8　 ﹒　And when she woke up, everyone was still on call with her, asleep or not, they were there. Along with a weird note right by her door with a pacifier attached to it. The note was sweeter than she’d like to admit.

9　 ﹒　Ugh…

⁺ ☆ . ✦ . 　⁺

⁺ ☆ . ✦ . 　⁺

HELLO HELLO! This was a grand post to celebrate the new year! Thank you sososoooo much to everyone I’ve became friends with in the past few months, and for all of the support I receive day after day. I love you all sosososooooomuch it’s unbelievable!

I worked on this for 3 hours straight ahshjahsj… with the exception of changing music, texting my friends with pleas of prayers for this, and editing the cards obvi!

I hope this is okay, and I did in fact avoid one of them haha… maybe I’ll get to it another time..? It didn’t appeal to me this time, sorry..

once again, happy new years, late merry christmas & happy hanukkah! I hope everyone had a great month over the holidays, ily all sm. I’ll be getting to the rest of my requests soon enough once I’m not burnt out haha.. thanks<3

⁺ ☆ . ✦ . 　⁺

[cementcornfield]

end of the season thoughts that got away from me after i started typing!

this was probably not the team that would have won the super bowl anyway, as devastating as this is and as fun as it would have been for The Narrative :(

i am impressed with how a lot of the young defensive guys rallied, even if a lot of it was against mediocre to average offenses. i think we've got a lot of potential in mckinnley, fig, dj ivey (and dj turner and dax too. provided they heal up well). kris jenkins had flashes but i'm hearing conflicting things about him (i love his personality though) so hopefully he continues to figure things out. CTB had a very up and down season, hopefully he works out whatever was going on with him and come back next year solid.

i think lou is out, i don't see how he can't be. even with this win streak (again, against mostly bad offenses). it's a shame because he's a master schemer and knows how to stop elite QBs like pat and josh. but we've used almost ALL of our first to third round draft picks on defensive players the last few years (amarius being the only exception!) and none of them have developed like we'd hoped?? we need a DC who can work with guys where they're at. develop them and create a scheme that they can understand and thrive in!

i also think pollack HAS to be gone. even being generous and saying that ted and orlando had their best passing PFF grades this season, and amarius developed better than people thought, it's still not enough. the way that joe plays, the way that we structure our offense, makes it INCREDIBLY difficult for any o-line guy. this is a fact. and the other fact is that pollack's background is one that emphasizes the run and other kinds of offense (i believe. i was reading this from some of the o-line experts on twitter lol). he's not a good fit for what we want to do. it's time to move on.

i'd also like to move on from sam, as heartbreaking as that is. he's not the same player he was, and he's being paid too much for what he's been able to give us the last few years. rankins also obviously has to go, he barely made it on the field and even when he did, he did not at all live up to his contract. they are two of our highest paid players on defense and moving on from them can only help us cap-wise as well.

we've gotta pick up some help in free agency. anyone we can get on d-line and some guards too. i wouldn't mind adding a vet safety and a vet CB as well.

as for the draft, looks like we're gonna end up around 17 (lol one lower than last year!) and i'd say again we need to focus on defense. an edge or a tackle, someone who can HELP trey with the pass rush because we've got nothing. i also wouldn't mind a CB. because again, we have very little there reliably. then i'd say drafting a guard and another running back (in the mid rounds) should be the priority.

i'd also say we HAVE TO HAVE TO HAVE TO extend tee and ja'marr this offseason. the pressure joe has put on the front office!!! the agent switch!!! how amazing tee is when he plays and the NOTICEABLE difference when he's out (that second half last night!!) tee is a NEED and i have to believe the FO will work with these guys to figure something out. the fact that they have the same agent i think is going to be a huge help in this. plus joe's not so subtle threats. (if they fuck this up he's gone after his first contract. i really believe that.)

also! last but def not least, we've gotta figure something out with trey. he is under contract one more year, but he's not happy and making our star players unhappy is actually NOT a good strategy, shockingly enough!

[le-trash-prince]

Sorry for jumping in on a conversation, but I agree with so much of this I don't even know where to start.

when did we start only wanting media that is perfectly suited to our standards? I've been thinking a lot about this lately bc ppl will complain about a show that is all fanservice and no plot but then the same ppl will turn around and call it homophobic when a show decides to skimp on fanservice in favor of plot, and while I know that there is a middle ground, I don't think every show needs to hit that middle ground in order to have value.

it seems like a really exhausting and slightly puritan way to do things, to be constantly finding imperfections and treating them as more important than the good parts. dunno about y'all but i don't want to be unintentionally enacting puritan shit.

^ this hits SUCH a chord with me bc ppl will performatively make fun of puritans to signal that they're part of the In Crowd, but turn around and tear down a show for not aligning with their sense of ethics bc a character was/wasn't "punished by the narrative." I've even seen ppl say that queer POC writers have no business writing certain topics until their viewpoint aligns with whatever that OP thinks is correct. Ppl don't even get how puritan they're being and it's so frustrating

it becomes a game of liking the right show at the right time to get that sense of belonging. And some people can feel isolated again for not liking the show that everyone seems to love right now, so they want to at least find community in sharing their criticism.

^ this. especially with how quickly ppl move from fandom to fandom (hard to blame them when there's 543231 BL shows coming out a year), ppl fall back on criticism bc it's guaranteed to draw a strong reaction. But I think it's a rather shallow sense of community compared to the kind built around creativity. I've been into BL for over 20 years now, and I have friendships lasting just as long that were built around creativity.

Fandom used to have an attitude that the thing to do is create things if you weren't happy with the canon media, but these days that attitude is drastically different.

I've definitely seen ppl in BL tumblr deriding the fanfic mindset, as if fandom wasn't built on the backs of fanfic and doujinshi. People will act as if it’s intellectually inferior to want to engage with a show on a creative level rather than demanding that it change itself to our whims. They say that if a show is good enough, no one would need to add anything to it. Which I agree, is a deeply consumerist mindset. Even if creatives may be perfectionists, the act of creation isn’t about seeking perfection. Transformative fanworks are about collaborative artz

Many of the biggest voices in QL fandom don't make any type of fanwork, and I would argue are not part of larger transformative fandom as it exists on the verge of 2025

Plain and simple agree 🙌 It’s really easy to tell when someone lacks a practical understanding of the creative process, and I know it’s something a lot of creatives in BL/GL tumblr have frustrations with. It becomes difficult to take someone’s opinions seriously when they demonstrate ignorance of storytelling while trying to prop their opinions up by using as many words as possible.

One of the reasons I think sense-of-belonging is part of the problem, is that one constant I see in criticisms is to distance a piece of media from 'being actually queer'. For every single queer fandom I ever dipped my toe in, I have seen the 'this is for straight girls' accusation.

^ THIS TOO (i meant it when I said I agreed with too much). It’s especially frustrating when I see self-proclaimed straight allies trying to make claims over what is or isn’t queer enough… Please stop talking over us thanks. I also don’t think it’s the end of the world if a straight person enjoys a BL. I want to be able to enjoy queerness in many forms, I want to be able to share the things I love with my family, and I also know that BL helped me process my own queerness when I thought I was straight, and putting queer media in front of “straight” people can help them on their journey. I think the BL industry is certainly large enough today that it doesn’t need to be shoved into a box of “if this doesn’t upset straight ppl then it’s not queer enough.”

In terms of fandom engagement, for the time being I just try to tailor my expectations about the size of a fandom and acknowledge that the transformative side of the fandom is in the minority and number of viewers in the tag ≠ size of the fandom. Otherwise it can feel really gutting when it looks like there’s a large audience but silent audience. Still, even if we’re only reaching a small number of people, we can always try to encourage other creators and stir up conversations that generate transformative activity. In the end, the critics will leave a fandom as soon as a show is over, and when they’re gone, the ones left will be the ones who want to make something.

(I also think antis have played a large part in dismantling transformative fandom bc ppl have personally told me how nervous they get about posting or engaging with anything that could be interpreted as problematic, and rampant criticism of a show may similarly play a part in people not feeling comfortable creating for a fandom)

a question for QL fandom at large: when did we start only wanting media that is perfectly suited to our standards?

there has never been a perfect show, and there never will be a perfect show, because everybody likes different things and QL is run on shoestring budgets. i thought this was something we made our peace with as viewers of the genre!

so i'm just wondering at what point fandom decided that a show is only worthy of praise/fandom if it has no problems?

at what point did we decide that talking about the problems of a show is more important than talking about what we did enjoy and what kept us watching? i don't know when it happened, but it definitely has. critique is treated more seriously and gets more interaction than people talking about what they like.

it seems like a really exhausting and slightly puritan way to do things, to be constantly finding imperfections and treating them as more important than the good parts. dunno about y'all but i don't want to be unintentionally enacting puritan shit.

i want joy, i want fun, i want the spirit of camaraderie in fandom.

so, why did fandom begin to snub any media that didn't fit very high standards? and how can we steer ourselves away from that impulse?

(i am genuinely curious about why this is happening and how those of us who don't enjoy it can change, so please feel free to jump in, even if you are 'late' or think you only have a very small contribution to make to the discussion.)

[burr-ell]

It's just fascinating to me the way Vex's trauma, first from Syldor and Syngorn and then from the poachers who kidnapped her, is so relatively mundane and yet so resonant. Her and Vax's only real recourse from the abuse and racism they suffered was to leave, but living on their own meant they were also perfect targets. Statistically it's not your average suburban kid gettin snatched in a parking lot that makes up most kidnapping or trafficking victims; it's the kids who've been tossed around the system, who have slipped through the cracks in some way, who are already vulnerable—the people who no one will miss.

And Vex freeing herself from the poachers still gave her trauma, just a different kind of trauma than she'd have had if she'd actually been trafficked. Leaving Syngorn meant freedom from its cruelty, but it also meant being at the mercy of the rest of the world, and it meant a final admission to herself that no matter how hard she worked she would never get the acceptance and the home she longed for. It's an experience that's unfortunately all-too-common among so many oppressed and marginalized peoples. She spent so much time in situations where there was no way for her to win or get out unscathed, and it's no wonder she closed herself off from the world.

[puppppppppy]

i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you

[thnksfrthmmrs]

[jackdawsfavorite]

What doesn't kill you makes you sad strange defensive and difficult to connect with

[h1ghscre]

been a little quiet here, hasn't it?

[unproduciblesmackdown]

as ever like: no two things Need to be juxtaposed, much less like material vs material deathmatch Only One Can Be Good, much less am i thinking i have thee objective word on fuckall b/c who does and it's like perfectly boring & unserious whenever someone just throws out Takes that are just "i think...[xyz] is [adjective]" like okay.

but anyways thinking of how, though differing in execution in a lot of ways ofc, deh & bmc start out in a v similar place & explore a journey to self-acceptance from a despairing starting point....it feels like a lot of the hindrance in deh's exploration of its own Theme there is in like, hey. :) hand on your shoulder. it's okay b/c you'll be able to be more normal. whereas w/bmc it's that it's okay b/c you'll be able to be more abnormal