#and they both love one another but arent showing it properly by actually listening to one another

[starsoftheeye]

it's absolutely wild that after outright hearing that the king is manipulating his daughter into believing her father hates her and accidentally confirming that to his daughter, elendil not only didn't attempt to reassure his daughter at all or ask her about this, but also just did not react to that piece of information whatsoever?

elendil ily you're great but you're not beating the emotionally neglectful father allegations my guy!! talk to your daughter!!!

[flooffybits]

Not Your Loss

Idol: Kim Bora & Lee Siyeon (Dreamcatcher)

🐶 marshmallow: Could I ask for a introverted and cold 8th!member!reader! Of dreamcatcher. Where she had been secretly dating someone and a week before Valentine’s Day she catches them cheating. So she comes home crying. So upset that she just curls up between bora and Siyeon. Crying into her unnies shocked but comforting arms? Sorry it’s long! But I relate to this haven recently been cheated on

Warning: cheating

☕buy me a coffee☕

Being in a relationship while being an idol was probably one of the hardest things you’ve had to maintain in your entire life, more so when the person you were dating wasn’t an idol like you.

While it hasn’t been that long since you have started dating, you didn’t want to risk it, thus having to hide it from your members as well just so they don’t end up overwhelming your partner with their somewhat protective tendencies and questionable antics.

Add to the fact that you weren’t exactly the most expressive one of the bunch, they were sure to tease you about how you were already seeing someone before any of them.

Right now, you were trying to look for a place to buy a gift for your partner since Valentine’s day was just around the corner and you wanted to hopefully surprise them. You were already able to convince them that you had a meeting for that day, so your date had to be during the evening, but in actuality, you would be visiting them at work to take them out for lunch.

Stopping at their favorite sweets shop, you thought that getting their favorite would also help make them even more excited for Valentine’s. The thought made you smile, a chuckle passing your lips at the idea of your members finding out what you were doing.

As you step into the cute and cozy little store, you begin making your way to the aisle to check if they had any of the sweets in stock, only to pause when you see your partner standing not too far away, checking the same place where you were about to head.

Just as you were about to call out to them, you pause when you see another woman walking up to them and pulling at their arm. You had no idea who this girl was, but with how they were acting, you expected your partner to stop them.

But to your surprise, they very much welcomed this woman, wrapping an arm around her and you swear you felt your heart drop when you saw them kissing her cheek and the conversation that followed.

“I’m so glad we can go out on Valentine’s, I honestly thought you were going to be busy.” The woman pouted and you partner had that same dorky grin on their face whenever you were together. “I told you I’d make time for you.” They explained and you quickly took a step back, covering the half of your face with your scarf.

It didn’t help when you began to hear one of your songs playing inside the store.

Close your eyes and tell me It’s alright, it’s alright Like this So trust me

Since you were disguised, you were able to get out of the store before you could hear more, hiding your face as tears started to escape your eyes. But you did your best to stay composed, at least until you were in the safety of your dorm.

An idiot.

You were an absolute idiot for believing in such an asshole. Despite being only together for half a year, you really did like them and believed that they were genuine with you. They were so understanding with your schedules and the risks of dating you, but god, you should have known.

You felt your phone vibrating in your pocket, and when you went to check who it was, you felt your sadness grow and a knot formed in your throat when you saw your partner’s name along with the text they had sent you.

Hey! I was just picking some stuff up and i couldnt help but think of you when your song started to play. i hope you arent working too hard

The nerve they had. After spending time with someone else, they still had the audacity to text you and act as though everything was alright when it wasn’t.

Deciding to ignore them, you headed to the dorm, roughly wiping at your tears before opening your door when you arrived. While you hoped that none of your members were around to see you like this, that ended up as wishful thinking when you hear Bora and Siyeon happily talking as soon as you stepped inside.

Carefully, you took your shoes off and placed them on the rack before sluggishly joining the pair on the couch.

“You’re home! I thought you were going to meet a friend today?” Bora’s face lit up at your arrival, but as soon as you sat down, her smile was quickly wiped away and Siyeon shot up from her place to join the two of you when they saw your tear stained face.

While they were caught off guard, that was immediately wiped away with worry when they finally processed that you were actually crying in front of them.

So without delay, they both took you into their arms and comforted you the best they could without knowing why exactly you were crying. Siyeon had to look over to the older girl who shook her head, indicating to just wait until you felt a bit better or at least comfortable enough to talk to them about whatever had upset you so much.

They were patient with you, their expressions soft with this newfound display. And while you rarely expressed to them how you felt, seeing you like this for the first time made their hearts hurt.

“Can you tell us what’s wrong, Y/n?” Siyeon asked softly, wiping your tears gently, a contrast to how you had done so earlier when your crying had turned into tiny sniffles and Bora squeezes your hand to assure you that they were there for you.

And given your current state, you were able to easily tell them exactly what had happened, how you were originally planning on surprising your partner, only to find them seeing someone else.

The pair made sure to listen and their expressions grew considerably dark the more they did and Siyeon’s lips turned into a pout as she brushed your hair from your face when Bora rested her head on your shoulder, a scowl painted on her face.

“I don’t like them.” Bora promptly stated and you sigh as Siyeon shook her head. “What? Don’t tell me that you do after what they did to our Y/nnie.” The older woman challenged before the vocalist rubbed her neck. “Of course not! After hurting Y/n? They better hope I don’t see their face.” She replied before cupping your face and staring you dead in the eyes.

“But I want you to know that whatever happened, it wasn’t your fault. There was nothing wrong with having emotions, and I don’t want this incident making you feel like you aren’t appreciated.” She tells you, Bora nodding as she sat properly to look at you, too. “Siyeon is right. After what they did, they aren’t deserving of you. As soon as they even thought about cheating on you, that’s on them. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you.”

“You are worth so much more than someone who can’t appreciate you. We don’t want you thinking that you’re worth any less.”

You could feel the sincerity in their voices as they spoke and their words had only further brought tears from your eyes as you curled more into their arms. Because if they hadn’t spoken to you, then maybe you would have shut them out more than you already do.

Thankfully, this had only done the opposite, making you more comfortable in being vulnerable with them.

“Whatever happens, you have us and InSomnias here to love and support you, okay?” They both offer you kind smiles and you couldn’t help but feel thankful that you were blessed with kindhearted people as your members and family.

..

A week after the incident, you were able to push aside your partner’s infidelity and both Sua and Siyeon never talked about what happened either to respect your privacy, choosing to let you open up on your own accord.

It was all going fine, though you were ignoring all of your ex’s calls and texts, blocking them after the third day.

So imagine your surprise when they came knocking at your dorm a day after the fourteenth, looking visibly upset as Handong answered the door. “Can I help you?” She asked confusedly before they looked over her shoulder in search of you.

“Yeah. I’m looking for my girlfriend.” They huffed and your friend seemed even more confused as she shook her head. “I think you have the wrong address.” She was about to shut the door, but your ex was not leaving unless they had gotten a hold of you.

“I know that Y/n is there! Now, let me talk to her!”

Surprised, your members all looked to the door while you stood stiff by your room, Yoohyeon gripping your arm when she saw what was happening and Minji stepped beside Handong, ushering the younger girl to move back in case this was a sasaeng.

“I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to ask you to please leave. I don’t know how you got our address, but I suggest you go, now.” Her protective instincts were kicking in and Gahyeon looked worried as she joined you and the big puppy whilst Yubin was already grabbing her phone and contacting your manager in case things turned south.

However, as soon as Siyeon and Bora saw the look on your face, the pair sprang into action and bounded to the door with determined looks on their faces.

“It’s very admirable how you decided to come here after what you did but I think you should know that our Y/n is very much single and wouldn’t waste her time with someone like you.” Siyeon’s words were sharp, her glare already intimidating your ex whilst Bora asked Minji to go back inside. “Also, if you think you can walk away scot free after hurting her, then you have another thing coming.”

“What the hell are you talking about? I’m just here to talk to Y/n because she’s been ignoring me this whole week and then didn’t bother showing up last night.” They explained, but deep down they were already fearing how this conversation was headed.

Bora’s jaw clenched before she gripped the door’s handle and took a step closer, prompting them to take one back. “Listen here, I don’t know where you got that stick up your ass, but if you think you’re getting anywhere near Y/n after cheating on her, then you’re surely mistaken.”

“We have your picture and information. So unless you want to be sued for stalking and harassment, you better go. Based on what Y/n’s told us, she’s never told you our address, so I’d be very careful if I were you.” Their face paled at Siyeon’s threat and without another word, your ex nodded their head before turning around.

But before they could actually go, Bora stopped them. “Open your phone and give it to me.” She ordered, causing everyone to look at the shorter woman, including you.

“Why would I do that?” Your ex shot back but Bora was not having any of it as she held her hand out. So I’m sure that you don’t have any pictures of Y/n on there. I’m also deleting her number from your phone just so you don’t try any funny business.”

You were in so much shock that it took you a while to properly process everything. While Bora and Siyeon were taking care of your ex, Yubin let you sit down while everyone looked at you with concern in their expressions, all unsure with how to speak.

But Minji breaks the silence first with a soft “Are you alright?” and you nod your head slowly before exhaling deeply. “Sua unnie said they cheated on you... is that true?” Yoohyeon asked and you purse your lips before nodding your head. “I just caught them with another girl when I was buying a present.”

Hearing that caused Yubin to scoff and Handong rose a brow, her expression melting to disgust as she eyed your ex, who was still being glared at by Siyeon as Bora made sure to delete everything on their phone.

“You don’t need them unnie, don’t worry, you can do better.” Gahyeon huffed while crossing your arms and you smile lightly before nodding your head, letting them all catch a small glimpse of it before you were able to revert back to your usual calm self.

Later that day, when you catch Siyeon and Bora in the kitchen, you waste no time in walking up to them and wrapping your arms around both of their frames, catching them both by surprise while you muttered a quiet thank you before you hurried to your and Yubin’s room, leaving both girls grinning as they watched you walk away.

[sanstropfremir]

the hotly anticipated kingdom episode 7 review is here!!

this episode was a lot less spectacle-y than the last one (the last episode with stages, i mean), and i think that was a good choice for all the groups on the whole to tone it down on the run up to the finale, because at the rate everyone was headed there would be no room to go any higher. i'm very glad that there was actually a collab stage and not just a song swap, especially because it gives a chance for the boys to work together and make friends when they otherwise arent going to be able to interact much. love love love to see them making friends and having fun doing these stages!

i'm not really sure why mnet didnt put the vocal stage this episode, because what on earth else are they going to put in the next episode with it??? i know it's a content stretch but still, it seems like a weird choice to me. anyways, there’s four stages for me to talk about this time and i'm going to try to not ramble out of control, but we’ll see. i did enjoy watching all of these, but we’ve all got favourites and i'm going to rank by which group i liked better out of the two for each stage, and then i put a few conclusions at the end. strap in folks this is another long one.

rap stages

skz + btob + atz

i was actually really surprised at how much i liked this stage. i would not classify myself as a rap fan and believe it or not i actually do not place a lot of importance on lyrics when enjoying music. although i have very high lyric retention and comprehension, i focus more on the sound than the literal words, so a fair amount of rap is swing-and-a-miss in my personal listening. plus when you add a language barrier on top of that, a lot of the nuance and technical skill of it just flies over my head. so i really dont have much to say about the sonic elements this time around, sorry. also.....i know i joked that nobody from the kingdom staff is reading my reviews.....but is someone from the kingdom staff reading my reviews????? i specifically mentioned that i think skz should do an art themed stage and then we got one????? i know i manifested the punk ateez stage but did i manifest this also??? am i just that powerful???

costume

obviously these are pretty basic rap/hiphop stage looks, but the white was a really good choice for visibility’s sake, and also thematically: it reflects the colours in the lighting really well.

i am DYING to know who the designer of minhyuks jacket is. if somebody knows please tell me i love it so much. it looks like some of the recent belted jackets that dior was putting out, but the drawing on the front armscythe piece reminds me of the superm/kim junggi collab for tiger inside. say whatever you want about superm, but you cannot deny that that is not some of the coolest merch on the kpop scene.

loved the traditional korean elements that came through in addition to the western references: the screens, hongjoong’s fan, minhyuk’s big fuckoff brush, the masks, and the sleeves on the dancers at minhyuk’s bit. those are a costume feature from a style of korean traditional masked dance called bongsan talchum. the masks themselves are versions of hahoetal masks, which are used in a very specific archetypal ritual dance in andong. i think these are imae masks, who is the servant/fool archetype that mocks the nobleman and the scholar. i suspect that was a deliberate choice, but i can only speculate.

another point about the masks which is not relevant but maybe a fun fact for people who don’t know. i actually thought at first that they were western theatre half masks, which are a very old style of mask that, like with hahoetal masks, represent a number of archetypes/stock characters. maskwork is a very common training practice in theatre schools, because it teaches body language and control, because half your face is covered and you cannot speak in your own voice (sometimes you cannot speak at all, this is one of the rules of full mask). the tradition of usings masks to portray emotion goes all the way back to the ancient greek chorus, but more commonly people in the west sometimes know it from the italian commedia dell’arte, of which you will have definitely seen some of the character archetypes before. i just find it neat that the same types of art pop up in different places seemingly independently of each other. humans are cool.

set

not much to say here, it's pretty bare with just some propwork. thought the screen use was fun and they used it smartly in a couple of transitions. 

thought changbin’s bit of ‘interrupting’ the artists was cute and fun. there’s obviously a picasso reference there, and the four technicolour paintings are a reference to andy warhol’s pop art silkscreen portraits, most famously of marilyn monroe, but he also did many other celebrities in the 70s and 80s.

lighting

i LOVED this lighting. super bright and fun, lots of use of colour, obviously. the projections were there to enhance the visuals and weren’t distracting in any way. i thought the transition to black and white/ink with minhyuk was smart and had good contrast, it gave a strong rhythm to build back up to for the climax.

sound

bang chan’s ‘spelling colour with a u’ bit had me SCREAMING with laughter. we spell colour with a u normally bang chan, the americans are the ones that are wrong. 

staging

i don’t really have a whole lot to say here, it was pretty straightforward and fun. like i’ve said in previous reviews, i wish they were more conscious of the steadicam direction and would stop showing extended bits of the production crew. at least everyone was wearing full blacks this time.

fun use of the upward angle combined with the groundwork/leg choreo during hongjoong’s verse, that was a highlight for me.

sf9 + tbz + ikon

nothing against this stage, the other one just hit harder for me. bobby is the best rapper on the show and he really carried this stage with his charisma. he’s a fun performer to watch and he knows how to command a space. i'm sure there’s technical notes that people have about the raps themselves, but i'm here looking at visuals as a priority, which i'm sure you’ve all grasped at this point.

costume

these were clearly extensions of these idol’s personal styles, with is a perfectly fine choice, especially for a rap stage where the emphasis is more on authorship. LOVED bobby’s 11yro girl at recess look.

amusing that both rap stages involved paint in some way? loved the backup dancers shooting supersoakers filled with paint at them, but i wish i knew the reason for it? i'm glad i saw this stage first because i would have been underwhelmed by the paint throwing if i had seen this after rainbow bonanza.

set

almost no set at all here, just a few props. i'm not judging as harshly on lack of set this round because these stages are meant to be more about skill than anything else. 

lighting

i loved the projections, i thought they were unobtrusive and i admit, i LOVE outer space themed anything.

i liked that they did more concert lighting and had no projections in the first half to put more focus on the performers, it really highlighted the fact that this stage was about them, and not about anything extraneous.

sound

it was indeed a song.

staging

i do wish there had been a bit more control of the space, because it did look very empty at some parts and they could have staved that off by keeping tighter camera shots. this stage is so fucking big, holy shit.

they really brought their onstage chemistry and they looked like they were having a blast, which FINALLY!! 

i actually really liked hwiyoung’s opening, i think there was a lot of potential there for some sharp contrast work that i wish had been played through a little more, especially with the cool white light overtop the black costumes. it actually reminded me a bit of the intro in the music video from a rapper i do actually listen to, bewhy’s gottasadae.

glad to see some more use of camera effects with the black and white, but why did they do it over the paint throwing? it just made the trajectory of the paint invisible because there was no colour contrast.

performance stages

sf9 + tbz + ikon

ok obviously im gonna have a lot more to say about the performance stages, nobody is surprised there. this one was the better constructed of the two and my personal pick for better stage, but i actually liked watching the both of them equally.

costume

king shit, literally. we love contemporary hanbok in this house. there was good colour and style distinction between the three of them without clashing. 

costume change was fun and neatly blocked, it's pretty common to see backup dancers and chorus hiding quickchanges but i liked how this was a more unusual formation.

taeyang rocking the organza skirt and the big purple eyeshadow, thank you for keeping it cunty as always.

i really liked juyeon’s underlayer look. finally we get a good tbz costume look thats thematically relevant!

set

like all the stages this round, pretty minimal. the setting was almost entirely established through the costumes and the projections, which is some really good designwork. it's pretty much just the litters (the lifted chairs they entered on), and some smaller props. they managed to not make the stage feel empty because there was a lot of projection visuals to compensate, which is difficult to do without being overbearing, but i think they mostly pulled it off.

i originally thought it was gonna be weird to try and mesh the traditional korean architectural aesthetic with the weird mnet deco, but i ended up not noticing it as much as i thought i would.

lighting

like i just said, projections very well done and do a fantastic job of conveying setting without being overly distracting. like with the atz/skz/btob rap stage there’s a really broad range of colour use here that they offset by brightening and properly fill lighting the faces so you can actually see what’s happening.

the use of the strobing lasers and more concert style lighting fit really well with the change in the music from traditional instrument sounds to electronica and the more hiphop/isolated movements.

sound

i liked it well enough! i think it had a good arc that we can see echoed through the rest of the piece, like previously stated in the lighting and movement style. 

staging

like i mentioned with the quickchange, there was some really interesting formations using the backup dancers here, especially as a lead toward/away from the camera

having the three of them enter on litters; again, literal king shit, love to see it.

this has a pretty clear narrative that doesnt really need an external explanation, which is good. i have to assume that the burning of the paper with 妃 (concubine) is intended to be a gesture of ‘burning’ the love out of their hearts, but that was the only thing i'm still confused on. this may very well turn out to be a reference to a specific story that i just have no idea what it is, but we’ll see once the subs are out!

i loved juyeons solo bit with the alcohol drinking and the table flip, that was the choreographic highlight for me. i just really wish he would use the other muscles in his face more often. we know youre pretty, you dont have to blue steel your way through all your performances!! take a page out of donghyuk’s book and make some ugly faces, it's good for you!!

i though taeyang’s swordwork was fine, but since i do actually have a decade of sword training i'm very judgemental. it's not bad, he obviously has practiced with the weapon and he knows how to control it, but he doesn’t have the same understanding as someone who has trained with a sword as a weapon and not just as a prop. if we hadn’t seen another stage with swordwork in it i probably wouldn’t have brought this up (that's a lie, i still would have brought it up, i have a third dan), but you can really see the difference between how minhyuk moves with his sword and how taeyang moves. a lot of this has to do with the proper weighting of the blade, which i mention briefly in my second episode review in btob’s section (and also this ask here, where i talk about properly weighted weapons in relation to the gun choreo in sf9’s and ateez’s previous stages); minhyuk is likely using a ‘real’ sword (it’s blunted but still made using proper methods and materials), and taeyang is using a cheaper-made replica (unless you’re doing full contact striking a LOT there’s no way a properly made blade breaks like that. also you would never tape it together hello??? respect the blade). if you know what you’re looking for, you can tell from the movements themselves when someone has training. minhyuk did a load of real training for a film where he was a swordsman, and you can tell; the sword is an extension of his arm, all the movements lead with the tip of the blade first, because that’s your first, your fastest, and your most dangerous point. you do 90% of your cutting with the first eight inches of blade, but it takes a lot of specific training to get your hands and arms to a place where that kind of movement is possible. taeyang’s movements are driven from his hands, which is unsurprising, because that’s where he’s used to his extensions stopping. the tip follows rather than leads. wow this got insanely sidetracked i hope you liked this crash course on swordwork.

this is pretty much what i expected to see from this unit. these three groups all have standout soloists, so i wasn’t surprised to see these three boys as the picks. juyeon and taeyang especially, theyre both from groups that are more likely to do experimental stages and choreography that highlights them as soloists and skilled dancers.

skz + btob + atz

this was a letdown from ateez’s last two stages, because they knocked those out of the park, but it's only fair that they have a bit of a fall. that being said, i did really enjoy watching this for its sheer ridiculousness; i’m forgiving the wolf concept this time because well, it’s wolf. you can't cover wolf and not do a wolf concept, that’s against the law. also, like i’ve said before, i'm all for dark concepts IF you give them thematic weight. is it on the nose? yes. is it thematically relevant? also yes. is it dumb? also also yes, but that’s never stopped a single kpop group in the history of ever.

costume

friendship restored with ateez stylists, rivalry started with skz stylists. the fur shoulder fluffs??? stupid and i love them. perfect in every way. however i keep seeing the same fucking costumes on the skz boys and i will come directly for the stylists at jype if they dont get their shit together. be! more! creative!!!

i really really wish they had gone more 2013 kpop with it, we need more of that ugly ridiculous styling. peniel was actually pretty close, with the overly long tunic and those yellow lenses. very vixx on and on (yes i know they were vampires from outer space, let me live)

i actually thought the wolf gloves were fun? the small bits of uv paint actually worked instead of looking out of place, and i'm glad they put them on wooyoung because the uglier an outfit, the better he pulls it off. 

set

same dice, just the long table and the camo net at the beginning, which i thought was unnecessary. the table was useful for levels though, so happy to see they utilized that.

lighting

there is so much happening all the time. lots of lasers. it's definitely aiming for camp territory, and i dont actually hate it as much as i did on my first watch. it actually wasn’t as dark as i thought either, because its mostly lit with blue and amber. but it doesn’t really have that great of an arc and its not really that good on the whole.

the projections are a bit much for me, but that’s only when i'm actually looking at them. true to form, i didn’t even notice the excess of red slashes until like my fourth rewatch because i was too busy watching the performers.

sound

rookie exo my beloved. the original wolf goes so hard for absolutely no reason, so i’m not knocking this stage for being ridiculous. in fact it should have been more ridiculous. i think they did a fine job updating the song for a.....less 2013 sound. 

i like that they didn’t bother to live sing the stage even though they recorded vocals for it, it gave them all a chance to actually focus on just the dance.

that being said, i am kind of missing all the adlibs from the original. but even though there’s some strong vocalists in this unit, they aren’t made of the same stuff as baekhyun, luhan, chen, AND d.o.

i literally just realized that peniel had already debuted when this song came out AND is technically exo’s senior because btob debuted like two weeks before exo officially did.....oh no

staging

choreographically this feels a lot more like the skz stages that we’ve seen rather than the ateez ones, so i'm curious as to who the choreographer was. 

the tricking was definitely more ridiculous in this one, but i can't really say any of it was there for no reason because it all had elements of fighting in it. the scale of the tricks was quite large though and not very well blended with the rest of the choreo, which ending up making them look awkward. i thought it was a nice detail that they shone a green toplight on the dancers that made up the cliff wooyoung climbed up so that it looked like there was grass on it. cute.

the blocking is lacking a lot of fluidity, and i think that’s partially the scale of the tricking and also the editing, because this editing is TERRIBLE. there’s so much cutting, why is there so much cutting!! haven’t we already learned that longtakes are the best for this???

there’s a lot of stuff here that had good potential but could have been pushed a little farther. i feel like i say this for every mediocre stage, but what can i say, i'm good at constructive criticism. 

they should have given more showcase to the tree and the scratching arms; it's the most iconic move!! i also wish they had kept some kind of iteration of the different unit ‘leaping’ in over the exiting one, i always thought that part of the original choreo was really fun and did a lot for establishing them as wolves. 

i LOVED peniel entering with all those backup dancers in chains, thats some fucking iconic shit. very ‘im the alpha wolf,’ which is valid because he’s like at LEAST five years older than everyone else on the stage. i wish that instead of being the backup dancers it was the actual members, because THAT would have been an image. theyre all wearing harnesses and collars anyways, just clip em in! he’d be like one of those dogwalkers!

me last week: specifically talking about how krump is an uncommon style in kpop and it's very hard to get right kingdom, throwing the manifesting dodgeball at me for the third time: here would you like a KRUMP SOLO?

if you didnt believe me before that krump is hard to get right, i sure hope you do now. peniel did fine, but you can see how easily you can veer off into looking ridiculous.

some conclusions

i mentioned this really briefly in an ask i got earlier today, but i do think it's important to establish that the two performance units are doing two different types of performances. i can understand why people are underwhelmed by the atz/skz/btob stage and wanted it to be less of a traditional kpop dance stage and more like the experimental stages we’ve been seeing for the last few weeks. and i agree! i think they could have done more with it. but i also think that this kind of stage was a good choice for this particular subunit. unlike with the sf9/tbz/ikon unit, there are not really any standout technical soloists in ateez or skz. ateez has, in my opinion, the highest ratio of dancers with actual stage presence of any of the 4th gen groups ive seen. they’re at a solid 75% for any given performance, and occasionally they can bump that higher depending on the stage. that high of a stat is rare. it's extremely rare for a group to have all its members have good stage presence (i can think of like, maybe two or three?), and to get over 50% is pretty damn impressive. but ateez’s strength isn’t in how good they individually are as dancers, but it's in how well they work together. there’s a reason why they put FIVE of them in the performance unit. one of the first things i said about ateez to hanya is ‘i love wooyoung but he doesn’t stand out when he's not centre.’ which is for good reason!! he’s not supposed to! they all willingly give up centre and take it back when they need to, because they have that charisma. there’s a very cohesive push and pull to watching ateez that speaks to their strengths as performers. dancing in a group where you are all meant to be equal is a very different skill than just being a talented soloist. you have to understand what to prioritize in a different way. taemin dances differently with shinee that he does in his solo career, especially since they’ve been back. he understands when to step back; more often than not i find key to be the standout dancer in shinee choreo.

this is a very long winded way of saying that wolf was a good choice for them even though the stage didn’t turn out as well as it could have. also the fact that they made a cohesive performance at all, with a week of rehearsal and while working with essentially strangers is a feat and speaks to all of their skill at their job. performing in a group is a huge part of kpop, and they did call this the performance stage, and not the dance stage.

i'm not entirely sure on what the breakdown is on why each of the subunits were formed. i know the team sizes are extremely uneven, with sf9/tbz/ikon clocking in at 26 people and atz/skz/btob clocking in at 17 (i'm not counting changsub because he's not there and probably has a scheduling conflict), which is like, a whole extra group of difference. but atz/skz/btob utilizing their whole groups for each of the units (5/3/1 for performance, 1/3/1 for rap, and 1/1/1 for vocal, for 7/7/3 total), verses sf9/tbz/ikon only bringing out six people for these two stages and then six for the vocal stage is......weird? that's over half of their group number that’s not performing. i do think the groups brought out their standout performers and made smart choices with the stages but the balance still strikes me as odd. i do wish tbz had actually done some group choreo because they are very strong group performers and it would have been fun to watch.

ateez really played the long game here, good job boys. teaming up with the group who gets the highest fan votes AND the group with the strongest technical skills? i see you.

i think this is probably too wild of an assumption and is only based on circumstantial evidence but.....i think hongjoong might actually have a lot more creative sway than i previously thought. all the stages he’s been a part of have been very well designed, and i know he provided suggestions for the two ateez stages prior to this... i’m probably thinking too much. 

ok you know what i know there were some other points in my brain somewhere but this is already 4000 words so i’m going to stop. if i remember anything else its probably gonna end up in the answer to some of the asks i’m inevitably going to get because i think my opinions on these ones are a little bit more controversial, whoops!

not entirely sure if ill do an extensive review for next week’s stage, because i'm not really a ballad fan and i dont really do vocal reviews, but i could do a quick one. i guess it also depends on what else they put in the episode. we’ll see!!

[takasgf]

Late with the whole ask game but sweaters, stranger, and dance alone!!!

Also just putting this here as well but Ishigeru is such an Ultimate Comfort Ship of mine!! And I'm being serious about that. <3 Like if Froggy were canon, I'd immediately worship her and her ship wholeheartedly! I have so much to say about her and Ishigeru but I can't put them in just words. xD But really though they're an Ultimate OTP. <3

Hello!! You aren't late ^_^ ! Thank you for the ask <33

> sweaters: how do you help your f/o after a long day? vice versa?

Both of them work hard, so these types of days happen quite often. Frogeru always makes his favourite meals and snacks and stops him if he tries to help; he denies being tired, but she can tell that's not true. She tries her best to convince him to sit down and let her do the cooking on her own for that evening. She appreciates the help a lot, but if he's too tired she can't stand seeing him do any type of work. Frog also lets him brush her hair; it's a comforting activity for both of them. When Froggy has a tiring day, Taka usually watches something on the tv with her! Even if he isn't a fan of the thing they are watching, he will sit on the couch and hug his girlfriend for as long as needed. He also tries cooking for her, but if that fails, he'll just order one of her comfort foods instead :3

> stranger: does your f/o have any regrets?

Ok, I haven't checked out the source material in months and I don't feel like doing it any soon, so I can't remember if he said anything about this in canon ;_; So I'll just say a headcanon instead!! I think he might regret a bit not being interested in any media while he was growing up. Of course, he loves what he does, he is passionate about his work but I feel like he missed out on a lot of things by focusing on studying only. Despite being book-smart, his social skills arent quite the best.. He said he 'will study' things like shows, music, games etc but that's why I don't think he might experience them in a fullfilling way. He treats it like it's a subject at school, which you must know everything about, and forgets about actually having fun with it. He hears Frogeru talk about pop culture, internet, shows and music all the time, wishing he could be more invested in those things, in order to show Frog he cares about her interests. For Frogeru it doesn't matter if he likes the same things as her or not tho, she just wants him to listen. And he does!! And that's enough for her to feel loved♡

But he has enough time!! Froggy will be sure to help him get invested properly in media, not to have another disscussion subject, but to actually enjoy it <33 This makes little sense, im sorry, but i find it a bit hard to express myself seriously in english T__T

> dance alone: how do you & your f/o deal with being physically far from each other? is it something that’s commonplace?

Thankfully, that doesn't happen quite often. They live in the same town and go to the same school; of course, they'll also move in together in the future. However, if they are separated, they make sure to keep in contact at all times. They call eachother (with the video option/idk the name; a video call basically) a lot. If they don't have that option, they text eachother. If that's not an option either because there is no signal or wi-fi, they try to remain calm. They miss eachother a lot in the process;; Sometimes they get super worried something might have happened to their partner, but they try to distract themselves until they can communicate again. Froggy is more paranoid about it and sometimes has to talk to her friends to get reassurance he is alright;;

Honestly, I can't thank you enough for all your support and appreciation; It makes me so soo happy to hear that you genuinely enjoy my silly ship...Thank you <33 I am so grateful for all the nice things you've said. We need more people like you in this world♡ You're awesome!!! ^_^

[chrisemrysfics]

And here I find in my draft a ramble about maturity, in relation to fiction.

It’s not made to be like a proper speech, just rambles read over to make sure there’s a progression of logic and it makes sense. I added more so you can see where it gets a bit less ramble and a bit more clean, but it’s all just, feels sharing.

I post this because I don’t feel I expressed what I do here in the way I did here, and I feel so very strongly about this.

If you want to take one sentence out of it that I really loved once I wrote it, it’s this one: an act can be immature, but a person is never immature, they are always as mature as their own growth and journey has lead them to be.

With bonus of: maturity is not intelligence, to say you aren’t mature enough for something is, in fact, intelligent of you; but to react in immature actions is still nothing about being non intelligent, your maturity is an aspect of yourself in itself, the same way intelligence is another, and age is actually another, because while age can limit the level of maturity you can achieve (due to the brain still growing and also the limit of experiences you can have the younger you are), different people at the same age can be more mature or less mature than each other.

And extra bonus: fiction is, I dare say, almost always meant for people who can handle it, with the expectation that those that cannot handle it will avoid it (close tab, close book, change channel, blacklist, etc). Because that is the mature reaction to have, to avoid what you cannot handle (and minimize your exposure to it). Which is why mature people will not listen to immature reactions, and “defend” the source of the immature reaction, because they can recognize it isn’t a mature reaction, and hope to make the person grow in their maturity to realize the mature reaction is to avoid, not censor.

A quick addition based on my mostly fandom based meta just before: fiction is also the only place, only thing in existence, where you can experience and learn from an infinite number of experience, all the while being safe. It is the only place you can safely discover your limits, and grow your maturity through the fictions you can handle, as you discover different ways a topic, experience, etc can be experienced. Fiction is a mirror of reality, but reality can harm us, and fiction is unable to, and once we are mature enough to react maturely to what we can or cannot handle, we can make use of fiction to learn and know ourself and navigate the real world better. And it’s the other reason mature people will protect the freedom of fiction.

was talking about maturity and i remembered when i was young teen, maybe 13, or maybe even 12, and i asked to use internet, and a neighboor-friend (big brother like) helped me make a forum account and mom was close by too, and with my neighboor we made a joke in my profile (i can recall it still, we wrote “and god created pikachu!”).

things had been going well (i think he showed me some things too), mom wasn’t hovering but was around and sometimes looked to, it was a fun, happy moment.

and then someone messaged me and insulted me, angry that i mis-used god’s name.

needless to say, i got really confused and hurt and i cried, it’s very vague in my memory then but yeah i know i was hugged, and my neighboor replied for me and told the person off and made sure to nail in the fact i was a teen.

once i calmed down, mom asked me what i wanted to do, and i told her, i dont want to try for now, and i didnt, because i had enough maturity to realize i wasn’t feeling mature yet to handle these kind of people and the wild cards of internet.

in the same manner, i was maybe mid teen, maybe even 15/16 or closing in to 17, its lessened now but back then i was really, really squirmy with g/ore and b/lood and ho/rror. however, i cant recall if i saw a bit or saw another and had handled it, or if it was curiosity, but i recall asking to watch Alien (cant recall which one). Its possible i watched one that i handled and wanted to watch the first one, or again, just curiosity. anyway mom just asks to make sure, and i cant for sure if i was alone watching it, but what i recall is being really shaky after, like, growing really anxious in the night and being too afraid to sleep.

that night i slept in mom’s room, and agreed i should not watch ho/rror movie for now (and i believe i didnt try for years).

both of these to say: this illustrates that some things cannot be handled if your mind hasn’t reached enough maturity and also that it IS mature to back away from something you cant handle. mature also is different than adult, this is why we can see teens handle mature topics, but the fact is, minds mature with time and no matter if you feel, or genuinely are, a mature teen, your mind is still growing. there are mature topics, stories, discussions, etc; that you just cannot properly handle.

it is natural to feel distress when your mind cannot properly handle something, but it is immature to blame the content, because the mature thing is to back away. it is also a sign of a lack of maturity of your mind, if you cannot process the complexity of a topic and why people speak of it in different manners.

a lack of maturity is not being stupid. but intelligence and maturity are two different things. if you are intelligent, you should be able to understand you can still lack maturity.

chances are, if you think you are mature enough, and you arent, you’ll encounter topics you cant handle and lash out at the topic rather than pause and ask yourself if you were mature enough for it.

this is also why you’ll see mature people supposedly “not listen”. its not that we dont listen and defend “bad” things, its that we are mature enough to be able to dissect it, and we can see you aren’t mature enough. we arent “defending bad things”, we are trying to make you understand it’s about maturity.

when we say you can love a villain, for example, it means you are mature enough to appreciate a villain and still know they’re a villain and their acts are wrong

when we defend s/exual content and “problematic” content, its because we know the complexity of humanity and we are mature enough to differentiate fiction and reality, and the layers of them, and how they interact together, and how different people have different experiences reading fiction.

The whole reason fiction is often labelled with age as warning is that, in general, someone below that age is not mature enough to properly handle it. Some people of that age can, in fact, handle it, but not all. In the same manner, not every experience of something complex can be “good” or “bad”, because it is possible to have the people involve be mature enough to make it a good version of the experience.

However, the whole reason fiction is so, so important is that it is the only thing that exist where we are 100% safe and yet able to see, learn, experience, all sorts of things. If you need to understand a topic, especially to discover your own limits, you’re safe to do so through fictions, but you aren’t safe to do in real life. And because fan fictions are made by people who are everywhere, who are all kind of people, you will find a much larger range of experiences written.

As a final note: I don’t know how often you, we, hear it, but it is totally okay to feel repulsed by something, and it is totally okay to realize you aren’t mature enough to handle a topic or a specific way something is expressed, or just to admit to yourself that you aren’t as mature as you thought you were. Maturity is something that grows, and everyone has their own pace. Again, maturity is not intelligence, you aren’t stupid if you aren’t mature, and you will notice I’m not saying “immature”. I think, honestly, an act can be immature, but a person is never immature. You are mature, but your maturity evolves, so you are always mature at the level that you have achieve at any moment. Some people grow their maturity at faster rate, some need slower ones.

But I think I love this idea: an act can be immature, but a person is never immature, you will always be just as mature as your own evolution lead you to be. You are mature to a certain level, and you can be more mature with certain topics. And I feel that the first lesson in maturity for any given topic is when you learn not to react with immature actions for the each topic. You already are so, so mature when you are capable of not reacting with immature actions. You never have to “accept” something to be mature. Maturity is when you are able to recognize what you can handle, and what you cannot, and to be responsible for your own comfort.

To demand others to not create content that you can’t handle is an immature act. To avoid the content is a mature act, because you recognize others might need that content, and that the content is not meant to you directly. In fact, I dare say that in general, people who share content, create fiction, only ever aim it for those that can handle it, and expect people who can’t to avoid it.

Yes sometimes you can stumble on a content you can’t handle, but the mature reaction is to say “okay I can’t handle that” and just leave. Close the tab, change channel, stop the movie, close the book, ask for the subject to change if you’re speaking with someone or with people, etc.

[peterpanfromlemonland]

Would you do a liebgott fluff alphabet :3

Oof, I'm still new to these fluff alphabet things but I will try my best for you!

A = Attractive (What do they find attractive about the other?)

He found your stubbornness and your emotional and physical strength attractive, like you were able to take him down in under 5 minutes!

You found his hair attractive, tbh. It was just so fluffy and all over the place- and that goddamn smile of his.

B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not?)

He definitely wants a family, he just doesn't want one at the moment. Kids love Joey, don't get me wrong- he's a man child himself actually- but he's afraid that he doesn't know how to take care of one properly, let alone his own kiddo.

C = Cuddle (How do they cuddle?)

He enjoys being big spoon, his reasoning is that he is protecting you and keeping you warm.

D = Dates (What are dates like with them?)

Watching action movies. At home or at the theater, depends.

E = Everything (You are my___ [e.g. you are my world.])

"You are my Anker."

F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?)

He was flirting with you and it got a tad bit annoying so you punched him in the face and gave him a black eye. You were the only girl who had the guts to actually punch him and that's when he knew that he wanted to be with you.

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)

Believe it or not, this boy is very careful with you. Although he's a scrappy little rat boi, the thought of even hurting you tears him up inside.

H = Hands (How do they like to hold hands?)

He doesnt like to hold hands in public much because it makes him look "not manly" but when he does hold hands he likes to intertwine his fingers with yours

I = Impression (What was their first impression?)

He thought you were just another normal girl, but boy was he wrong

J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)

Yes he gets jealous, once he is jelly you better act fast so he doesn't accidentally kill someone

K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?)

His kisses are rough and passionate, but full of unconditional love. It was technically you who initiated the first kiss because he wouldn't shut up about how he could take down someone as tall as Bull.

L = Love (Who says “I love you” first?)

It was him who said "I love you" first. He was kinda drunk at the time and was spitting out random bits of German, but he meant every word. "Ich komme vielleicht aus einer Rattenfamilie, aber das ändert nichts an meiner Einstellung zu dir. Ich liebe dich."

M = Memory (What’s their favorite memory together?)

When you dropped in Normandy and were both lost, you were alone and looking for any soldiers from your squad or unit and he decided to play a prank on you which lead to you almost shooting him.

N = Nickle (Do they spoil their partner with lots of gifts?)

He likes to give you free cab rides and let you sit up in the passenger seat.

O = Orange (What color reminds them of their partner?)

Blue, just like the sky

P = Pet names (What pet names do they have for you?)

"S��ße" "Puppengesicht" "Sweetheart"

Q = Quaint (What’s their favorite non-modern thing?)

Swing dancing

R = Rainy Days (What do they like to do when it rains?)

He usually likes to just relax inside where it's warm and dry. He hates the rain (like the saying "you look like drowned rat" that's what happens when hes in the rain)

S = Sad (How do they cheer up/cheer others up?)

He has no idea how to give emotional support, he just awkwardly pulls the sad person into a hug or just panics and gives them a pack of lucky strikes

T = Talking (What do they like talking about?)

He likes to talk about comic books, now he reads actual books as well but they arent as enthralling as the pictures in comic books. That's just how his brain works. He dreams about making his own comic book because of all the stories he writes in his head. Its adorable watching him get so pumped up when he talks about those said stories. (Hyperactive imagination boi)

U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)

He likes to listen to music and just sit or lay there. The type of music he relaxes to is music like Wind in Sails' Into the Night because of the acoustic guitars and calm drums

V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What is it they’re proud of?)

He likes to show off his driving skills, and he likes to show you off a lot; hence the reason why he lets you sit in the passenger seat sometimes when he's at work

W = Wedding (When, how and where do they propose?)

He proposes to you sometime in the early fall season where the leaves are just starting to change color and the weather is not too hot or not too cold. He takes you to a park, you like parks, and there are already some crunchy leaves on the grass and sidewalk and you two like to kick them around. Once you turn your back to him he "ties his shoes" then calls your name and bam! A box with a ring is in his hands and he's on one knee

X = Xylophone (What’s their song?)

Uptown Girl by Billie Joel

Y = Yes (Do they want to get married?)

Hell yeah.

Z = Zebra (Do they want pets? If so, how many?

He wants to get a dog and a pet snake. The dog you understand why, but the snake? Why does he want a snake????

[ddonggeun]

Hey! So I’m suspecting if I got adhd/add but is there any symptom idk. It’s really exp here to get it diagnosed

sorry it took me a while to get back to you because honestly i dont know whats a good alternative for you can be so i guess i can share my own experience? 

first of all i think googling symptoms and types of adhd and reading peoples account on how adhd/add manifest is a good start? my doctor and the reddit /r/adhd REALLY help me to accept myself (which is the first step i think) but the way i get diagnosis (i am adhd with predominately inattentiveness - but at the same time i have depressions and dyslexia which is like a killer combo 10/10 would never rec) is that i came across with an article a couple months about how girls with adhd are more likely to be (mis)diagnosed with depression and it basically fucks up multiple generations because they cant get the help they need and i was like wait whats describe in it sounds kind of like me but at the same time i have always been very lethargic and rather well behaved in class growing up i am nothing like what you would typically associate with adhd (you know the hyper-activeness) so during my next visit to the doctor (im getting treatment for my depression) i mention to the article to her and she said wait you know what describe how you feel in a classroom setting growing up and is there anything you do that teachers complain about repeatedly and tell me how studying and doing homework is like to you and so i did (i can go further into details of my life since a lot contributes to why i only get diagnosis when im 21… let me know if you would like to know i guess?)

my doctor (who just so happens to be an adhd specialist and is quite active in the research area i didnt know before then we stan forever i love her really she is so encouraging and so good at her job) took some notes as i was talking and after im done she said you know what i think you might be onto something but i cant be sure yet (since i have depression and dyslexia which both overlaps quite a lot with adhd/add) why dont i first explain to you what adhd is and i’ll give you the set of official diagnosis questions you dont have to do it just take a look at it first do some research organize your thought talk to your parents about it and if you think getting a test on it is something you want we can set up another appointment and we can go from there - which is really really nice because adhd has always been a taboo at least with my upbringing it makes you a loser socially academically and you know just in general its not something you will want to have…. 

in hind sight there are SO MANY SIGNS even in early childhood how come no one notice i dont know prolly because i grew up in the 00s if you are different you need to kys lmao rip: 

trouble paying attention in school or work,

the appearance of not listening - although im an audio learner funny enough

avoidance of activities that require sustained focus,

being easily distracted 

restlessness

fidgeting and cant sit properly - i shake my legs or click my pen so much especially when im thinking or anxious lmao, i got into trouble a lot when i was younger because i only sit in my seat facnig the teacher 5 mins max at at ime then i move around or i move the chair around i think better when i cross my legs but i went to a uniform school and i always make my skirt too short so you know

interrupting - if i dont say what comes to mind when it comes to mind, the thought is gone forever

frequent talking and talking way too fast - i get the exact same comment every single report day class from when i was 4 till i graduated high school im not even kidding “she has excellent comprehension skill and reading speed. it would be great if parents can help her out a bit in maths or chemistry.  she has a lot of potential if she applies herself, she seems distracted although when we ask her questions she can answer. very helpful and bubbly and yet she talks too much in class. she is not disruptive and her seatmate never complains but she just doesnt stop talking. we have been pairing her up with quiet students in class in the hopes that she will talk less in class but she just turn the quiet student talkative”

trying to do multiple things at once - i cant do one thing at a time, even when im say writing a paper i need to be listening to music or talking to someone if not switching between tabs or word files

mood swings

hyperfocus - oh boy oh boy oh boy

impulsiveness - i dont know if i get better as i age or is it getting worse i just know how to clean up my mess lmaooooo

poor time management - although i would say ever since i start listening to stuff 24/7 it really helps build a sense of the passage of time or whatever? its like now i know ok by the time i get to the third song in the shower i need to be washing out my conditioner; or say i need to go somewhere in 40 mins which is really abstract to me i set timers and put on a show thats 35ish mins even tho im not watching it just so im aware of time is actually happening if it makes sense

fail to follow through - i start things and once i have it figure out in my head i struggle to put it down in words or explain it to others i work well with other adhd peps tho

doesnt follow instruction and only do stuff their way

burnout - this is the worst especially if you are a perfectionist or a control freak and guess who is both 

trouble coping with stress - 

i luck out because im canadian and my doctor (in my schools clinic) just so happens to be a specialist who is very passionate about helping undergrads and grad school students to achieve as much as they can - so doctor and diagnosis for me is free. i do have to pay for my medications out of my pocket for a bit since im on vyvanse (to treat both my adhd and depression-lead anxiety its complicated but it makes sense when my doctor explained it to me lol) and this drug isnt covered by Pharmacare (CAD $130ish for 3 weeks worth of 30mg, im mostly on 30mg but on days when i dont have work on stuff or go to school i take 20mg just so my anxiety dont cause me to explode lmao) and very expensive but recently my doctor and i have agreed that vyvanse really work for me and it is something that i should be on daily for the foreseeable future we applied for special authorization which means i only gotta pay the tax… of course medicating isnt a must but it is what works for me and we figure out a way to make it affordable so i cant be more happy about that

at the same time i work with my psychiatrist to you know configure the whole adhd thing cause you know 21 years of repressing and forcing your feet into a shoes that not even your size frick you up thats something people dont tell you 🤷🏻‍♀️

what my doctor said to me then stuck with me - she told me adhd or add really is no monster or flaw in fact it is a very valuable set of traits we inherit from our ancestor - we hate it now because modern society render these skills useless well you see adhd isnt all about the hyperactiveness you see in the media people with adhd are extra sensitive to their surrounding and prefer hands on experiences (today we call them distracted) they are always aware of the change around them and is capable to attend to a couple things at a time and act fast because their brains are always making sense of things even when they arent consciously doing it. in todays society we dont want these kind of people why? because they ask questions they are curious people who notice trivial stuff that dont contribute to productivity they cant sit still which makes them not the ideal factor workers or pupils BUT! you have to remember that industrialization started like a century ish ago before that our ancestors live in predominately tribal society - adhd people then are the perfect caretakers and protectors, why? because they are always noticing things they adapt and react fast… so yeah it kinda suck for us growing up in a system thats designed to be everything we are and it is something that need to be changed but for those of us who “made it out alive” especially people who only get diagnosed in adulthood more often than not they look back and realize they have developed so many incredible ways to cope to make things work - are they always the perfect way? are they always health? no definitely no but at the same time it shows you how incredible these people are they make things work yes things are really hard sometimes but you got to give yourself a pet in the shoulder for not giving up… with the help of science and research we now know a little more about how adhd affect people we now have medication and programs developed to help people with adhd - they arent to dumb you down or numb you but instead it helps you to focus better so you can actually hear your entire thought and not just phrases or sentence fragments

[peachybeancinema]

Week 1

Exercise

1 film that’s stayed with me and remembered. The Secret Garden, 1993, dir. Agnieszka Holland.

Cinematography wide shots and beautiful establishing shots, opening shot is a lone girl that can’t clothe herself, left in dead centre with lots of space around her, the closeups of hands feels very innocent and intricate- they feel like a soft, innocent female gaze.

Lighting contrast between the stale dark inside and the light garden

Editing not noticed so much

The script, partly cheesy cause it’s about children trying/forced to grow up too fast, and a period like flick

Production design, old timey and frilly, but oh boy their green set designer went OFF 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Tone, lonely and hollow to a slow burn hope

Theme….

theme? Did it speak to me? Yes, the absence of parents- chosen to or not, running around finding wonder, kindness and strength in a garden

How did I feel? Loved and seen- a lost and lonely child that internally begs for love but has an inability to regulate her emotions- Collin too!

What kind of film would I like to be a part of HORROR or like something that can incite hope and make all types of children feel seen

EXERCISE 2

Director that inspires me: Gia Coppola

Resource on their process: ‘everything was trying to reach out to as many people as I could.’ Many of them stayed at Coppola’s mother’s house during filming. “I would drive them home after work and we’d all have dinner,” Coppola says, “It was like camp. I loved it.”

https://www.google.com.au/amp/s/www.washingtonpost.com/news/arts-and-entertainment/wp/2014/05/09/gia-coppola-talks-directing-james-francos-palo-alto-and-the-pressures-of-her-last-name-qa/%3foutputType=amp

https://www.google.com.au/amp/s/www.vogue.com/article/gia-coppola-palo-alto-personal-style-and-james-franco/amp

Notes on script:

Does the camera show that she’s dead?

When do we learn that she’s dead- same time as him or before?

Rewrite in program with proper formatting

Week 3…

I was able to get together with a crew member and get the new draft of the script done. I have a bit of trouble understanding sometimes how to properly structure a script after coming from a book writing background, so I was really thankful that she was able to help me understand even better. The feedback from previous classes has centred around its general ‘look’ as a script and whether the viewer is in on knowing that Alexis is dead, and from the strat I’ve wanted the audience to know to further their distaste towards Ross, otherwise the audience could say ‘well hey I missed it, I get why he did’. Her choking will take place on camera, close up, so we can watch her leave us.

Week 4…

Getting ready for the pitch has been a huge mental struggle for me, but I keep holding onto the idea of actually making this film and that definitely gets me into our team meetings on the days it feels impossible. I’m already so happy with the crew and their thoughts and contributions, but it doesn’t kill my anxiety of presenting. I feel like the script is at a good point based on feedback, so when we presented and the main concern was finding a production designer, I felt immediate relief… okay we can tackle that. There is a pressure I’ve found quite uncomfortable so far in my journey in this class, and it’s even after filling the crew roles, a certain student not even in this class has become quite intense in getting involved as camera operator despite that role being VERY explicitly filled. I plan on keeping polite but firm, but god why should I have to?

Week 5…

So… despite the previous week's tiny rant of someone trying to vulture a filled role, our original DOP is now the 1st AD and someone else within our crew has taken on DOP, a choice we were actually all really content with. A search for a production designer continues, but we have to focus on scouting our potential Ross and Alexis. Unfortunately none from the team- including myself, could make it to crewing night, however, another student pitched on our behalf. The main goal is to obviously fill the production designer role, so fingers are crossed in the meantime. There was no class this week so I definitely spent the week taking care of myself and finishing off my slides for the pitch for next week, and I’m pretty happy with my slides and that most in the crew have stuck to the same aesthetic through the slides (minus points for memes).

Week 6…

Pitch week, so I’m ill with anxiety for it, but nonetheless, meds taken, train caught and standing before the panel. After the comments from the panel on how it very obviously pulls away from the serious nature of content, I was pretty bummed I didn’t just quickly delete people’s memes before the pitch. Overall I felt pretty good about how it went, but that’s only because that’s how my crew told me to feel about it. My anxiety was so bad while presenting, that I blacked out. In moments of intense anxiety I will disassociate entirely, I know I spoke, but I know nothing that I said or that was said to me. This is an incredibly frustrating process for me, especially because I have had to rely on my crews memories on the pitch, which definitely doesn’t feel fair. They assure me we are on the right path, and just that we should get a move on with casting. Still no production designer.

Week 7…

Mental health and substance abuse are taking a bad turn this week and it is affecting how easily it is for me to communicate effectively with my crew. I won’t be able to open messages or even show I’m online out of fear of disappointing and giving wrong/no answers. I feel entirely overwhelmed and I can feel myself falling behind. There’s still no production designer and at this point I’m willing to do it because I fear it’ll turn into a shit show anyway. I have been experiencing the worst internet from home and it’s been making getting anything done when I’m finally mentally available, impossible. I’m tired and as much as I love this script, I just want this trimester over.

Week 8…

This week for The Silent Treatment, we’ve been taking a look at Producer Sina’s Starnow casting calls for both roles, as well as looking at AirBnB’s for possible locations, which has lead to playful but extenuating bickering on the dop and producers part over ‘apartment or house’, which honestly, it’s quite easy reigning them in when they get a little too passionate. But I’ve actually found their bickering and passionate opinions on options for the film and helping restore my own fight for this film too. We have a few meetings coming up over our discord and we’ve been polishing up our previous presentation slowly.

Week 9…

We’re cutting down through our pickings for actors as well as getting excited over the possibility of taking James Lewis on as production designer. He actually appears to listen and understand quite well and he’s always writing notes in his book for props and decor. I’ve shared my ideas and I’m hoping he can fulfil my needs. This week was a really difficult one for me mentally (big shock and huge surprise) so I’ve actually been trying to make a plan to stay well and that’s by putting together a rehab stay, a huge and terrifying step I’m still not sure I’m going to actually take.

Week 10…

I’ve lost all of myself and my motivation this week. A rehab stay is officially scheduled and I’m afraid and trying so hard to reignite my passion for film and my own words and stories, but I don’t think it is worth it. I know I’ll look back in a week to a few weeks and struggle to understand why I hated my work so much, but I think when you hate you, everything you touch looks disgusting. I’ve been incredibly fortunate for my friends- some on my crew- and I’m INCREDIBLY fortunate for the crew members that don’t really know me from a bar of soap being exceptionally soft and kind with me during my low period. Knowing my team are such lovely people is actually a much better reason to get off my ass and do this- for them- not for me and my silly story…

Week 11…

We finally have short listed actors AND location and now we have those last auditions to wade through. Internally I definitely have decided on my location and actress, but for the male actor I’m not so sure yet. One guy auditioned and while he played it quite well, it was his in between chats that had me slightly off, as he kept feeling the need to drill in that he isn’t ‘this guy’, which of you arent, you don’t feel the need to tell everyone, which is why I’m keen to give another actor a whirl and see where to go from there. My fashion designer friend is still keen to make the scrubs and we’ve all worked out a decent pay for her services- I love bringing friends from other art disciplines into my films, eg placing crazy art from my painter friend, decorating the sets with my friends published books and even my nursing friend belinda wants to give me a bunch of medical supplies to set dress!

Week 12...

Big pitch next week and I’m terrified- how can I actually feel so prepared but terrified. The last male actor to audition BLEW me away and I felt a real chemistry when talking to him between the breaks which means I’m really looking forward to directions BOTH actors, as they’re super lovely and open and very relaxed to speak with! Location is LOCKED and I couldn’t be happier with the pick made! We just keep polishing away at the presentation, and yes, the memes are still coming out of the woodworks...

Week 13…

I'm not angry over the pitch, but I wouldn’t say I left happy… some of the ‘criticisms’ felt so empty and UTTERLY devoid of actual meaning. I mean, and I’m sorry, but this script was the same script written 1 year ago. No changes were made because I didn’t receive criticism through these weeks to do so- sure structure of the actual script itself changed but the scene where he imposes himself in her space was ALWAYS there, and I know the lecturers can have a lot to remember, but DO NOT ever say ‘this part wasn’t always here’ and ‘no I think we would’ve noticed’ had me boiling. It’s important to not talk with so much confidence in these kinds of times, as we all can forget things, but to stand and tell someone what they wrote and didn’t write in front of a crowd of people in higher positions than them, that’s insulting. I’m happy to take the criticisms about that ‘rape implication’ exert VERY easily, but it could have been addressed in week 1. I also do believe that younger lecturers NEED to be in these pitches, as it is a crowd of older people and senses of humour and film are changing and that should be fairly judged by a RANGE of ages.

APA REFERENCING

Gia Coppola talks directing James Franco’s “Palo Alto” and the pressures of her last name (Q&A). (n.d.). Washington Post. Retrieved June 25, 2021, from https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/arts-and-entertainment/wp/2014/05/09/gia-coppola-talks-directing-james-francos-palo-alto-and-the-pressures-of-her-last-name-qa/

Nast, C. (2014, April 4). Gia Coppola On Palo Alto, Personal Style, and James Franco. Vogue. https://www.vogue.com/article/gia-coppola-palo-alto-personal-style-and-james-franco--

[rip-pinecest]

In response to the anon who asked me my salt with voltron:

please take in mind this is my opinion and only that, and that maybe i didnt phrase things properly so pls ask me if u want me to correct or explain anything to u

its kinda long so pls bear with me

I dont have complains in season one bc it really wasnt bad and it really set the characters roles very well and their personalities and shit, altho it did have weird pacing, but something about season two made me feel uncomfortable about voltron

like, firsts of all, the #NotAllGalra bs, it really set me off how they wrote the whole "keith is half galra" bc it not only made Allura's distrust in him as something bad (EVEN THOUGHT ITS VERY UNDERSTANDABLE?) but they also somehow watered down the horrible things the galra did (like, i dunno, imprisoning ppl, keeping slaves, killing and destroying planets, to name a few), they go into the "dont blame an entire group for the bad actions of a few uwu" territory despite the galra being literal colonizers, thats such a white concept, yeah SOME galra are good, like the galra who helped them and also keith who only just found out about it, but just bc of that we arent gonna have the narrative turn into some weird "Accept Everyone" propaganda and make characters like allura, who lost everything to them, feel bad about not liking them and not being able to accept them. the show actually acknowledged that allura needed time to process it but then right away went and had her APOLOGIZE (for no reason) to keith, which is, again, a very white concept. not to mention that kallura was also pushed, they had the character have lowkey romantic moments and it was pretty annoying to watch, considering none of them showed interest in the other and that keith is a galra

Another one is Hunk, I fucking love hunk, but the way he was treated in the series is very....disgusting.....being the only fat character he is reduced solely to fat and food jokes and being "dumbed" so pidge can look intelligent, despite both of them being equally intelligent and capable? like, i really hated how he was reduced to comic relief, even though he is so intelligent and capable and has so much potential, all his characteristics just got reduced to jokes and its so annoying, i want intelligent, charismatic, funny, interesting hunk back, now he is just the dumb food and its so annoying

TALKING ABOUT COMIC RELIEF, i also hate how lance was also reduced to this, and how he was just simply ignored and shoved aside throughout the series, like??? he has so much potential for being a leader, and they even had an scene with lance feeling like he doesnt matter and it was completely shoved aside?? like i hope this gets resolved in s3 bc if it doenst I WILL RIOT. also another thing that made me mad was the way lance was shown as "hyperactive" and being a very bad representation of a character with ADHD, and im saying this as someone with it, idk if that was their intent, but either way the way lance acted this season was weird and very out of character, and also a lot of these "hyperactive moments" shiro and pidge look at him judgingly, which is very shitty. i also hate how lance and allura's interactions are reduced to lance flirting despite both of them having potential for a good friendship, i really wanted to see lance and allura bond over missing their planet and their family and shit, like i know coran had this kinda bonding moment with lance in s1 but i do believe he could have something similar with allura, i just want the "flirty fuckboy" image lance has around allura to go away and...i want them to be friends and have good team interactions

i also kinda disliked shiro in s2, i must admit he was never my favorite and i had a hard time warming up to him and stuff but this season they really showed us that shiro doesnt know how to be a leader: he doesnt listen to his teammates, makes bad decisions overall, plays favorites, doesnt really know how to or try to make better relationships with his teammates. like, really the scene where lance tell shiro that keith would be a bad decision, even though it was for the "blade of mamora" thing to happen, shiro ignoring lance's words made me so mad, esp bc they somehow sparked his insecurity and feelings of not being enough, which i can relate. I really hope this also gets called out next season and we get all the unresolved stuff