#and they all have very different coping mechanisms and ways they got better/didnt

[mayonneise]

i was going to write a detailed analysis of Noah and Dante's relationship here but. the words will not come to me so i just. they're both depressed and trying to cope with and not doing the best but at least they've got eachother...

[ozfi]

mabel and stanley are very entrenched in reality. they have no choice. mabel uses her imagination and stanley straight up lies to people. and this is how mabel copes with the bad parts of reality "shes 12" AND YET PEOPLE ARE MEAN TO HER FOR THIS. and this is how stanley has lived her whole life since she was abandoned by her family. stanford and dipper have been bullied for being "weird" openly, as in having Physical Differences, and in this they turn away from reality and look to cryptozoology and other occult things to look away from the humans they dont feel comfortable with. and dipper wants to be cool with the older teens and people not his own age, stanford believes hes meant for Better at nerd college, and in their own ways mabel trying to live a normal life as a 12 yr old girl and have fun in the real life with her brother and twin (didnt have normal friends before grenda and candy, but now does!), stanley wanting to spend time with her brother (who was her only friend at school because she was a problem child), and both of them just wanting to be with their family/friend/twin cause rifts in dipper and stanfords desires to go Beyond to see More to be Better Than This because of how isolated they feel from the people around them (those meant to be their "Equals"). dipper never gets a friend his own age but ends up being actually friends w wendy, fiddleford abandoned stanford when things got dangerous because he didnt want to be involved with the end of the world.

theres the instance of stanley saying dipper reminds him of herself in the earlier mind episodes which is a red herring because shes projecting in a trans way . which im getting into. the happiest character in this show is consistently mabel. and shes very entrenched in reality. shes imagination. shes real. she finds a way to be happy no matter what. and she is happy despite being a pre/teenage girl. that takes POWER. but you contrast that with stanley whose entire sense of masculinity is a facade and uses it to scam and manipulate people, and has been doing that the majority of his life as a defense mechanism and to survive, but ... in comparison to dipper, who she does say some pretty charged stuff to, and dipper, who uses almost the majority of the first season getting offended about his masculinity being insulted and then making that everyones problem and ruining everyones day. dippers masculinity is a cage, his thoughts of being better than others are #coping, his "more feminine" traits are what make him happy, the name Dipper was not his choice but a cruel nickname used by his bullies about his birthmark (his difference, his weirdness). which - thats what stan is relating to dipper about! "people think hes a good for nothing and that he'll never go anywhere" while dipper is chopping wood . Physical Strength. where dipper is trying to be cool. and masculine. i could put this better but i was saying it the whole time. dippers attempts at hypermasculinity hurt him. stans hypermasculinity hurts her. neither of them are happy like that. they are both Transfem as fuck

and also let me talk about the antisemitism cuz HOO-EE this is the reversal of good christians going to a small town and being accosted by the occult and ambiguous jews and weird pagans. this is a show about a jewish family in a small conservative town that treats them very oddly and theres the inherent distrust of them even outside the huckster shack (and stan being a conman is important to ME OKAY). all open human enemies are christian as fuck like gideon (+his dad. his poor mom needs to get out of there i really hope she does) is the reason bill gets out at all, and the general unease and overall malaise of the town with a background church that is never used or addressed reminds me of, say, the small-town hometown deltarune analysis, where Christianity is never mentioned but everyone acts like socially conservative christians who harass people for being different. and the pines ARE different! each and every one of them. dipper and stanford are physically so, mabel is a glowing star that also lets grenda and candy feel comfortable, and stan is a CONMAN!!! WHICH MATTERS TO ME!!! shes weird and odd and strange and people dont like her very much but shes an irreplacable part of the community that keeps people dreaming and looking forward and having a place for abnormality even in a town that was looking away from that weirdness for so long (soos in weirdmageddon III points this out of course) and also symbolises how shes alienated from the world around her. nobody accepts her nobody has ever liked her shes always been half of a duo and nothing more so she lied her way in and presents a false front because people dont like her for who she really is.. .. its an interesting spin on Jewish Shyster where the jew has no choice but is sympathetic for this and with everything that goes into it. she would be dead without lies. but she could LIVE with her family. when she finally gets to be with them. fuck theres this shot in weirdmageddon II where bill is graffitied on a cop car and the other triangle is drawn underneath and it looks like a magen david and thats when i thought for sure on some level it was absolutely intentional that this town is christians who consciously and unconsciously shun their local jews and treats them poorly, something that could absolutely be taken as a really questionable symbol just feels natural for people used to demonising the jews in their lives... there were lots of little things that spoke to me. maybe some of it was S&P not letting alex use certain things, but little phrases and actions that made the pines feel like secular jews living a secularly jewish life in a small christian town where neither of those words are allowed to be uttered. but this is a town where the abnormal is shunned and kept away from the public eye by force, where weirdness and difference is consciously and subconsciously denied and rallied against. and that narrative alone being the entire main plot of the show is, to me, the most important part.

theres so much i said out loud ill not be able to remember without fully rewatching the show and i resent that but this is a big dump of words from someone who just finished the show like an hour or so ago and now wants to think about it forever and the stan twins reuniting and getting to forgive each other for their mistakes and finally having their first friend back and being able to live a life that makes them both happy and can have a positive impact and dipper and mabel having a fun future together and getting through high school together and talking through arguments and getting to live their own lives but always having each other and not repeating the mistakes of their grunkles (who they do love so much)

[softness-and-shattering]

Yknow. I think emasculation is misgendering for cis men. Its the same thing. "I disagree/dont like you so Im gonna say youre a failure at your gender".

I used to think it was a dumb concept, you are your gender or youre not, and nothing anyone can say can change that, right?

Well nothing can change it, but misgendering still hurts. And it doesnt only hurt trans people. Its like a standard weapon against cis men just under a different name. And its used so much that theyre all incredibly insecure about it. Not all, likely many.

Maybe thats why the giant trucks and muscles and various measuring contests. Everyones trying to prove theyre the manliest man so no one will even think to attack them for being bad at manhood. Its a coping mechanism. Its not a very good one though, it loops back to making fun of people for trying too hard.

I dont think theres an equivalent for cis women? You can definitely 'fail' at the standards of femininity, by not bring white enough or straight enough or not having the latest clothes and makeup. And TERFs and the like go around calling any women who doesnt fit a man, also weaponised misgendering of cis people. (And trans people. Im just focusing on cis people for a sec.)

Like lets be clear, patriarchy/white supremacy creates boxes and punishes us for stepping outside them no matter who we are. Theres no competition of who has it worse, we need to break it down all together not fight between ourselves. Im trying to understand how it is, and how it works, not who it hurts more. It hurts everyone.

To quote the 80s movie War Games, approximately, "the only way to win is not to play". I think thats why queer people are so jarring to the system, we're refusing to play. We're refusing to care when we're "losing" because we're not working off that ruleset. We're working largely off of authenticity and community and happiness, or I hope we are.

And I think everyone would be better served by authenticity, community, and happiness. Theres no winning the game, not long term, not really. You're always under threat of having the rug yanked out from under you. You can never be enough to sate patriarchy/white supremacy. You can absolutely be enough for yourself, your friends and family, your neighbours, humanity. Ok thats a bit big but consider a world where everyone is happy and thriving with plenty of energy to worry about bigger things than am I gonna misgendered and attacked today for who I am? Do I need a bigger truck to be safe and who can I attack to raise my own standing?

World peace, right? We could solve global warming we could solve anything with the power of safe well-rested happy humanity.

Ok that got pretty big. Didnt mean to freak you out. What do you think though? Am I maybe onto something here?

[br1ghtestlight]

i think if gayle was raised by actual competent parents she would have grown up to be more emotionally stable tbh she has character traits of all three belcher kids except brought to an extreme and with no support

like she has gene's love of performing and attention and his inferiority complex/feeling like a failure compared to his siblings (this is referenced FAR LESS for gene but trust me its a thing) and tina's social awkwardness and love of boys/romance, louise's general disregard for social rules and love of chaos and adventure but the difference is the belcher kids were raised by GOOD PARENTS who loved them and taught them to deal with their emotions in a healthy and productive way without enabling them

meanwhile gayle was very clearly neglected and put down all her life (people always say gayle got all her parents attention and took it away from linda but i dont see any real proof of that i think they just didnt care about taking care of their kids in general, at least beyond basic physical needs)

she never had parents to tell her she was important and loved or to help her deal with emotional dysfunction or feeling like nobody cared about her and acting out to get attention/faking an illness (VERY CLEARLY a sign of severe mental illness) im not saying gayle is a good person or sister and she mistreats people in her life a lot but she got a terrible mix of abuse/neglect from her parents and enabling from her sister so its not surprising she turned out this way

tbh linda is only as well put-together as she is because it was a coping mechanism in a dysfunctional family (and probably a promise to herself that she would be better than her parents) and she also obviously has issues with boundaries etc

[penumbrialhexandroga]

I put this in a discord chat im in but i wanted to put it here too. Today i got diagnosed by my therapist with c-ptsd.

Hhhh today is a day of surthriving. Had therapy this morning and was rough, but i was able to communicate some of my frustrations well. Got some clarification on stuff. Like he said forget about any of the schizophrenia stuff, i dont have it, so thats a relief. He said for a clinical dx i do have CPTSD. And that my episode that id had before when i started seeing him was a dissocaitive episode. So it was nice to get clarification on that i was thinking it was like a psychotic or manic or something but dissociative makes sense with what all went on. Ugh gah but then talked with a real young part and stuff coming up and just ugh fuck i hate. People. Just very heavy. Having things validated. But im so grateful for the coping mechanisms ive developed. Hhhhhhh fuck its just hard. Heavy heavy heavy. Just trying so hard to keep every thing contained so i can get through work. Thank god for Work Mode 🙏. Id been dxed with ptsd already but i did suspect it was cptsd but man having that validated by a therapist ugh i just feel like ive been taking punches and punching brick walls >.< idk i just wanted to express this all somewhere. "Put it out there"

Thats what i put in the chat earlier.

Idk i wanted to write about it i guess. He was saying too how like a diagnosis yknow its fluid it can change. Which im fully on board with i know it can only really be a snapshot of your current whatever experiences. But one thing i really appreciate about getting that dx and that validation and assurance is that it supplies me the language to tell my story. I realized that that was one issue that i had with how generally non-pathologizing my therapist is. Its also something i appreciate about him though, but i just felt like i couldnt really. Like not even tell my story but know my story. I felt lost and confused and uncertain about what my experience was and how i fit in with the world and people around me.

Who really am i? What defines me as an individual? It helps me answer these questions more fully. Not to say my diagnoses are all that i am or can capture the complexity of me as a being.

Its incredibly validating to do this work. I feel alive and autonomous in a way i never really have before. Some of the parts i work with are so so young. If i wasnt doing this work with a therapist i dont think i would really be able to do it. So im very grateful for my circumstances that allow me that. Although i can tell my therapist wants to do more frequent sessions, but it is expensive and insurance sucks so. Idk. Is what it is.

Ugh but this work also fucking sucks and makes things so so hard. But i know im better for it. Gahhahahshbsgdgdgdhd.

Oh man im also really glad too he labeled what that episode was. I was thinking it was a psychotic or manic and maybe i had bipolar, bc some of my family has been dxed with that. But no he said it was CPTSD. and a dissociative episode. Which man even just writing that out again its just. I cant even really identify how it makes me feel its just this kinda hmmm pressure?? Electrical flux? Along the back of my head.

Im grateful for being able to communicate better with my parts too. I was able to get across some things today that i havent been able to for a while and im glad things went well, even if it got tough. Really friggin tough. I know im moving in the right direction.

Id already been diagnosed with ptsd but that was through my psych who specialized in autism and idk it didnt really sink in. Its different now getting diagnosed by someone who knows me very well, ive been seeing him for like over two years now, so i have a lot of trust in his oppinion. But gosh so many raw nerves. Plus its c -ptsd which like, doesnt mean its worse than ptsd or anything lol some people seem to think that but thats more what i was suspecting. It just made more sense to me than standard ptsd with all the dissociation. But i feel really validated and seen and heard and hmm self assured even! Which is so rare for me. I feel like there was a lot of movement and change today. So this post is really just to commemorate it all. Getting diagnosed with cptsd tho, for me its very different than it was getting diagnosed with autism. Maybe thats because of meeting with that part right after tho :/

[stovetoast]

i know this is my art blog but i can do whatever i want. agents posting GO (WARNING THIS IS MESSY)

agent 3: lake. 19 (11 in splatoon 1), they/them

i dont have a lot on lake!!! they actually didnt get recruited at all, they just kinda... stumbled into the battlefield while the octavio fight was happening and insisted on sticking around afterwards because they had Way Too Much Energy. they dont really know a lot about their past before that, even less after oe. they now spend a lot of time researching turf game strategies (theyre not legally allowed to play because their special limiter is broken) and trying to push through the chronic fatigue. oh, and theyre in a qpr with 8.

personality . uhh basically lake likes to pretend theyre still silly but its Not working. they cant really speak above a certain volume either without it hurting. im so bad at describing personalities heeellllp hellllp help meeee helllllp

agent 4: mari(elle). 21 (15 in splatoon 2), any

the child of two splatlandian grizzco higher-ups! like... they work with the bear himself! they worked under the company at the inkopolis location for a while, including while the whole callie disappearing fiasco was happening, at least until the company got big enough where he could quit and her parents wouldnt notice. they didnt. cool! there may or may not be a reason that they didnt (wink) but i havent decided yet.

mari is kinda uhhhm. well. ive described it as theyre working on being silly without being mean. and hes been getting better :] + toni kensa fan oh heeeeelllllll no

agent 8: august/kass. 19 (13 in oe), he/him

oh god yeah i dont have a lot on him either. basically baby kass and baby lake met a few weeks before the Oe Incident and became fast friends. but then the metro happened and uhhhyeah you can imagine what happened to that. they both know they were close but dont really uh. actually i explained this better in another thing let me grab that.

"the key difference between a normal playthrough and this is that, not only did he run into agent 3 a few times in the metro, he… lost an eye when they were sanitized. the same eye, in fact. plus, his memories weren't entirely… restored, like how it i assume its implied to in oe. the contents of the mem cakes were merely evidence that there was a life before this, something to evoke feelings, and something to keep him going. that isn't his life anymore."

anyway. oe happens and now were here. present day kass is SILLY okay? but in the way that like. he dunks bread in pepsi and stares at mari (roommate) with the most blank face imaginable when they look at him weird. i dont know where im going with this hes just weird. he also has a strange fixation on death as a coping mechanism for the fact that his first memories are pretty much of zombies but hes respectful about it dw

new 3: clementine "kit"/patch. 16, it/its

basically it was forced to take on an unhealthy amount of schoolwork (+ a few extra years of school) because its parents live all the way in calamari county and didnt want it doing stupid shit. its primary guardian is its older sister, whos a lot nicer about this stuff yay! but yeah uhh splatoon 3 basically happens because it wanted to escape that. why it actually went in the manhole is up to interpretation .

through the nss bonanza business it made a friend, my friends oc ball :] together they are agent 6 and agent 9 (dubbed by lake because they knew itd get confusing) and theyre Siblings Yaaay. its smallfry friend (agent 3) is dubbed sen, short for baby sensory video, at least while kits learning their language. it doesnt know a lot about sen but is in the process of learning!!

its generally very quiet and soft-spoken to most people because of how it grew up, but in more of the ^_^ way ig??? despite that its also known to not have a sense of self preservation, again because of how it grew up. it goes out in the scorching hot desert for random junk. it ended up with severe facial scarring because it dove into danger so much in alterna. im describing this very badly im so sorry.

[gyutopia]

hiii!! i was the anon that did the bh review! im glad you liked it! ^^ i hope you have a great day too :>

butttt im here to say a bit more ! 😣 i really loved both bh and og and im definitely a yapper,, i hope this isnt too much.

first im a bit confused as to why Anyone would want to bash jw's character-- judging off the last two anon asks but i think thats the same person. im still proud of my decision to label jw as mature, he loved and cared for yn really well, so i know why he reacted the way he did. i personally think he opened yn's eyes, bringing her into a new world so that she wouldnt have to stay in her same mindset. that night of the party, when they first met, im really glad he stayed with yn in the hospital. that was such a nice gesture considering the fact he could see yn needed somebody. he stayed by her side in og and i respect him for that. jay made me mad when he said "you dont know shit" because, how would anyone besides jake and his friends 'know shit' if jake just left with no explanation, not even a text back. i found it pathetic how jakes character felt guilt, and then chose substance abuse. i appreciate the fact he flew back home for yn, though.. even though she wasnt there. maybe the only reason why im mad at the substance abuse is cus i know people that have detached themselves from me and life in general because of that, but i partly understand jake. im glad he was aware of what his behavior caused for yn, and he was definitely shocked but he couldve handled it better. this isnt towards you as the writer but more to jakes character: theres so many other healthy alternatives to drinking/smoking. i know it was for an escape though, and im thankful jay told him to stop. back to jk's bday- yn & her friends had every right to act the way they did. it just made me confused why jk had seen yn in that state, but still decided to spam her texts.. if he only did it at the sudden appearance of her, what held him back from doing it any other time? (rhetorical question, ik the reason) when yn suddenly went to jk in bh, i somewhat understood what she could've been feeling. its hard to forgive someone that goes back to a person that they know isnt good/hurt them, but a lot of people dont take attachment into consideration. yn grew up with jake. of course she'd go back to him if she wasnt in the right mindset. and again, jw acted very maturely. how could yn just get up and go to the exact man she said she got over? (rhetorical question) i like that jw didnt forgive her immediately, and i Loved that he pushed yn away when she came crying about what jake had said when they had kbbq. im glad jw noticed all the negative traits of yn, and its great that he made yn aware of them. he acted like a true man in bh. and when he said something along the lines of "he (jake) doesnt know you like i do," i think that was eye-opening. it really made yn realize jake is in the past. i feared yn would choose jake in the beginning but jw's words were very impactful.

this is way longer than i thought oopsiee! i hope its okay im saying more. a lot slipped my mind as i wrote though so i might be back with something else

omg don’t apologize i love your thoughts!! keep them coming hehe <3

i agree with everything you said 100%!! jungwon from the start only cared for y/n,,,,he didn’t have to sit in the hospital with her, didn’t have to stick around after and love her the way he did. as for jay you’re saur right bestie, he was picking a fight for no reason bc like you said how would they know?? jake didn’t even bother to respond to a single text so truthfully y/n + her friends had every right to be mad

jake definitely could’ve had better better coping mechanisms,,,,i think he really just wanted to forget because he knew deep down he couldn’t do much to fix what he had done so he leaned into drinking and smoking to help him forget/numb the loss of his best friend.

yes !!! jake and y/n were friends for 10 years, they saw each other at different stages of life and he was the only friend she had growing up which is why it stung even more when he left,,,she had to watch her classmates go to the movies together, senior events and grad parties while she was alone. obviously she’s going to go running back the second jake shows up. he’s all she’s ever known.

i really had to make sure jungwon was standing on business bc if he forgave her right away she would have continued to take him for granted and there would have been no character development. it was honestly so satisfying to write jungwon pushing her away when she came crying 😭 i think him telling her jake doesn’t know her anymore is what did it for her too, especially since he said it after jake sent the flowers

[danyinthetardis]

fifteen year old me begging my family for help because noone should feel like that only to be told i‘m just an overdramatic and ungrateful teenager

eighteen year old me organizing my first doctors appointment with a psychiatrist by myself only to be told by my mother that he doesnt know what hes talking about when i handed her the diagnosis

twenty and twenty one year old me walking across town at 3am in a foreign country to put myself into the psych ward begging for help because i was terrified of myself only to be told to sleep it off

twenty two year old me crashing so hard after being SA‘d that i finally got put into the psych ward and spent my birthday there

i have been medicated almost constantly but with 6 different medications since i was 18. i have had therapy on and off since i was 20. its fuckin hard. how much easier would it have been to unlearn toxic coping mechanisms if i hadnt been forced to function around it all my life? how many times less would i have had to shatter to my very core and put myself back together if someone had fucking listened?

my current psychologist estimates my struggle with anxiety and depression to have started when i was 10. but my family was always too focused on projecting the image they deemed appropriate to even consider there was something actually wrong. it took my mother 15 fucking years to admit she was not able to be a good mother to me when i needed her most. and that was one singular moment where she admitted fault. not for the abuse, the ignorance that followed.

i have been fighting tooth and nail to get better, to be even okay with being alive, for over a decade. i will now claim every little space of happiness i find. every shrapnel of peace and ray of sunshine i feel. i will be selfish and annoying because being selfless and quiet almost killed me.

because i survive for every single version of that little kid. i didnt go though all of that, do all the work just to step back again and let people talk over me. i am very proud of how much i love myself now. i have a long way left to go but i am so much better and more at home in myself.

[solarsleepless]

Hello good sir.

Please rant to me about avian hybrid/ Lion hybrid/ enderman hybrid c!Niki headcanons and au's. I NEED MORE of your c!niki banter cs I have already read your fics 3times over and over again.

SHJHJSHJSHJSHJSH GIVE ME GENDER EUPHORIA AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE

i'll give some hcs for each

Avian Niki

niki is either a crow hybrid or an angel hybrid. on one hand crow niki is funny to me on the other hand badass angel

her feathers, ironically, stay white during her 'villain' arc because yaknow symbolism

when she was going out with puffy, she'd let puffy preen them

because she was the only other winged hybrid, quackity trusted her to preen his own wings

in return he preened hers while she was in jail

she used to fly with puffy because love <3

during her isolation arc, she takes out feathers as an unhealthy coping mechanism, reasoning to herself that there's no need to preen if she doesn't have any feathers left (yes it's morbid)

eventually tho she just. doesnt even wear clothes for her wings

she just hides them underneath, which is of course VERY uncomfortable

they get worse and worse and ache more and more and she wants to fly so badly but she can't unless she preens them and she can't because she just can't!

when she joins the syndicate, the first thing phil says during their second meeting is: "hey niki didn't you have wings? what happened to them?"

his voice is tinged with sympathy; he knows what it's like to not be able to fly

she freezes, just stops moving, then starts to cry

phil is worried he's done something wrong, but then she reveals that she's kept her wings hidden under wil's coat and cloak all that time (note the symbolism)

he immediately is like "what the FUCK" when he sees them because there are feathers falling when it's not even shedding season yet?? also there are a few in places they shouldn't be at all? there are some fucking missing?????

long story short it takes multiple hours to get them back in place

niki passes out during it because it's been so long since she hasn't been in constant pain

when she wakes up, phil insists on keeping her there to preen her wings

also the syndicate has a long discussion about what happened and they promise each other and themselves to help her get better

Lion Hybrid Niki

she purrs end tweet

no but seriously this girl will purr to end and back

she purrs louder than ranboo which is SAYING something

she loves the scritchy scratches behind the ears. like REALLY loves 'em. she'll just- once you give her scritches she just. surrenders and leans into it. her purring sounds like a fucking jet plane when she gets the scritchies

she can roar, she only uses it to intimidate people tho

her self-worth is just. deeper than bedrock. she has no self-worth

she and puffy are working on it but she still... needs help

sometimes she gets phantom pain from her declawed fingers. she's found out it hurts less when she massages it, but she can't actually reach it, so she asks puffy to do it, and puffy can't help but feel guilty each time she sees the stumps

also niki hates getting her nails trimmed. like HATES it. even if she doesn't want them growing as long as they did before, the idea of something sharp near her fingers after what happened just makes her blanch

eventually tho she does have to do it

she hugs puffy while ant cuts her nails, and puffy whispers sweet, reassuring comments to her.

like

"you're doing so good. i'm so proud of you" and "we're almost there. you okay? we're gonna get through this."

sometimes tho niki just.. can't handle it. but she doesn't want to disappoint puffy either so she tries to just get through it anyways.

puffy notices her discomfort and asks her if she wants to stop. niki hesitates before nodding.

"niki, you being comfortable is so much more important than this. we can do it tomorrow, okay?"

Enderman Hybrid Niki

makes littol enderman noises. sometimes when she's stressed, sometimes just idly, sometimes when she's happy!

she has a tail because how can i not give her one

also she has pawsies and hands like magpiebur by @/nightferns (BECAUSE I LOVE THE WAY THEY DRAW WILBUR'S PAWWWS)

can withstand water a little better than ranboo, being more human than him

it still burns though

she just has higher pain tolerance lul

also can touch snow unlike ranboo because she's half human, half enderman

her ears and tail twitch whenever she's anxious

didn't really like eye contact, and the l'manbergians respected that (esp eret who didnt like people staring at their eyes either) until schlatt came along and basically forced it, so she kinda forced herself to do it from then on

unlike ranboo however, she doesnt go into enderwalk. she actually hasn't got an enderwalk because ranboo got it from nervous habit and it 'evolved' from there (my hc anyway), she instead literally gets hurt

like it hurts her to make eye contact

ranboo sees that she makes eye contact despite being an enderman hybrid and is like: "...HOW???"

she's just like "oh i force myself to do it lul. cause everyone expects me to anyways. it hurts after a while but its fine"

he just goes completely silent after that, then tells phil and techno at the syndicate meeting (while niki is admiring steve) not to hold eye contact w/niki because it hurts her

techno: "HEHH??? she seemed fine when i visited her!!" ranboo: "yeah she's been hiding it this whole time because society expects her to do it." techno, an adhd fella: "..phil where are the adoption papers-"

niki's confused by the end. why did nobody look at her? why did nobody maintain eye contact with her??? did they not like her?

but at the end phil explains that they thought that because she was an enderman hybrid she wouldn't like it (they're lying to not throw ranboo under the bus)

niki just stares, then starts to cry because holy Shit they are so nice

"nIKI NO YOU'RE BURNING-"

used to bite her tail as a way of self-harm. techno was VERY concerned when he saw the bite marks, but niki just lied and said that it was a dog attack

he knows for a fact it wasn't a dog because he's been bitten and his furniture has bites and it didnt look like that

more like that One Time when Ranboo bit him while he was in his enderwalk state

cue him connecting the dots and being like "...WAIT"

niki also really likes blocks. like we all know her city is weird in some parts because it's built with different blocks, signifying niki's jumbled up mind while planning to kill tommy. but in the enderman hybrid niki hc, its also partly because blocks feel nice and she wanted to feel different ones

her tail curls around the legs of people she likes. so far, it's gone around: wilbur, tommy n tubbo (those two specifically during pogtopia), fundy, eret, puffy and the rest of the syndicate

whenever puffy made her flustered she'd blush either green or pink. no inbetween. puffy was very confused and thought niki was disgusted by her at first and was all :(( before niki explained her wack biology

that's all i got for now im afraid!

[volfoss]

how about ranking bucciarati's team?

regret to inform you that ur gonna get a very long answer bc i have passionate feelings about them all! also trish is in this bc she is part of the team and no one will tell me otherwise and will also include some rambling bc it is me and i have so many feelings towards these characters and none of them r cohesive

under the cut just in case (post writing yes it was long)

Giorno Giovanna:

way way more complex than ppl normally give him credit for (i will not go into feelings on how a majority of the fandom treats him unless ppl want me to then i will in fact make a very long ranty post and will not be stopped)

mildly op (esp at the beginning with how hes kind of able to just use his stand really well w no problems altho i think thats true of most of the jojos that we have seen animated?)

i am emotionally attached to him and want to give him a big hug

hes just a kinda goofy kid and is maybe a bit not good with figuring out hey this is a semi dangerous situation maybe i shouldnt be taunting him (leaky eye luca for example)

has the actual best theme

i love how he works off the rest of the team so well (even w members who do not like him)

is in my top 3 jojos i love this kid sm i would adopt him if he was real

7/10

Bruno Bucciarati:

the fucking way his character develops from licky man to best dad material is my favorite thing

his outfit is so so so good i would die to wear it

in general this man is one of my fave jojos characters and i get a lot of comfort from him

hes just really neat and has a good taste in music

he did his fucking best and i will always love him for that

imo the way that his death was drawn out was genuinely one of the most heartbreaking deaths in the entire series and fucks me up each time i think of it

i feel like he really is the one to hold the team together in a way that everyone feels cared for and saved

def has a savior complex tho for sure

dilf but im ace

also manga superiority bc he either makes the stupidest faces or looks very nice (anime has a lot of weird animation in regards to his face) and also because its lingerie there instead of a tattoo that changes thickness and placement every second

10/10

Leone Abbacchio:

guilty pleasure liking man

i am obsessed with his vibes and wish to become him

i cannot physically express just how much i love him but hes one of my faves of all time (not obvious by my theme at all wdym)

i miss his manga palette but also the colored manga isnt my beloved but also black lipstick abba

hot take maybe but anime abba looks better than manga minus the lipstick debacle

hes so so tall and i will steal his height in a nice way

his past man his past it fucks me up

his death fucks me up normally but when i was rewatching recently, i saw he gave this tiny lil smile after helping the kids get their ball and i could not take it anymore

him and brunos relationship (canonically and out of canon too) is one of my favorites in the series

also fandom hot take as i guess i am doing those for everyone- but ppl either have him as cosntantly trying to murder giorno or being like good son and v out of character, and it is really weird? not sayign that ill do better when i write them but also like im convinced some ppl havent seen the show or smth

i will steal both him and bruno and marry them both <3

this man is beloved i love him to death

10/10

Pannacotta Fugo:

i cannot spell his first name to save my life

also fandom take- ppl make him constantly only angry boy all the time and it really irks me. ik araki did not give him 2 much to work w in terms of canon personality but its frustrating

the light novel purple haze feedback is so so so good and adds sm to his character and i really like it for that!

fugo is one of those that imo deserves a lot and didnt get that

genuinely the vibes between how he treats narancia is v interesting to me, like its clear he cares about nara but nara not doing great w math really frustrates him

i love their interactions and how he is genuinely a kind person at times

the manga colors r superior here, my strawberry boy <3

i just really love and appreciate him a lot and wish that ppl gave him more love

i keep getting assigned him on kin quizzes

very smart good boy

ALSO ok fugo did not do any wrong by leaving

unsure if thats a hot take but i genuinely dont blame the character one bit for leaving and again purple haze feedback really delves into that and why he did it

if ur a fugo fan go read it

his past is really upsetting esp in the anime i will cry over it

his stand is adorable and i wanna hug it

his vibes r fun and i wanna gift him strawberry dangly earrings

8/10

Narancia Ghirga:

this boy i am also adopting (i am adopting most of them sorry)

i really hate how ppl act as if hes stupid bc bad math skills do not equal stupid like did ppl not see the fight w formaggio??

the way he just fucking dove into the water after the boat and how brunos face went all soft and happy it will never not make me cry

he is constnatnly making me wanna cry if i think too much about him for 2 seconds i love him sm

how can anyone not adore him when he set an entire street on fire yk

hes just happy despite his past and it makes me sad i love nara sm

torture dance is one of my favorite memes from the show

ALSO ok the way he died so suddenly absolutely broke me bc the remaining team members r really just seeing everyone die in front of them so quickly

his goofy and laid back moments r my fave

i love just how loyal and caring he is to his friends

his stand is really cool and again the fight w formaggio was so fun to watch

8/10

Guido Mista:

probably my least favorite member of the team for a semi good reason:

the jokes towards trish are really really uncomfy and how fugo doesnt wanna be involved but he is pushing him to do something that makes him uncomfortable did not make me like him a lot

hes goofy but not goofy enough for me to be ok with the repeated jokes about that esp in the body swap episode (ik it was supposed to be funny but it just felt off)

his vibes r good but i wish we got to see his hair

the fandom interpretation is normally pretty good of him overall?

despite not loving him a lot, i really enjoying writing for him (one day might open up headcanon requests or smth but unsure)

hes someone id wanna watch movies w but his taste in movies and mine r very different

love how he and his stand get along

honestly has very very good comedic potential

i really like how he and giorno interact as the series goes on (in a platonic way i need to clarify that i love their friendship)

again him in purple haze feedback was really interesting

probably a 5/10?

Trish Una:

beloved and deserved better

her first outfit in the manga > outfit in the anime

actually in general i believe in manga trish superiority like her hair in the manga looks so cool

her stand her stand her stand i love sm

if u dont include trish in the group i am murdering u <3

HER CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!!! IS SO GOOD!!!!!!

fandom gripe is how people either pretend she does not exist or has the trish first introduction thing where shes using her defense mechanisms and acting a bit spoiled

OK but her in purple haze feedback!!! mild spoilers but how bruno was taking care of her post the ending of vento aureo makes me so happy each time i think of it

very mad that she canonically didnt really get an ending and yet again PHF my beloved actually gave her that

how spice girl starts out as a stand thats helping her thru a very stressful situation is so cool and i love it

DAD BRUNO DAD BRUNO DAD BRUNO *frothes at the mouth*

but more seriously how she leans on bruno and begins 2 trust him and nearly point blank is referring to him as a father figure always fucks me up

esp because of the resulting fight afterwards

and the very ending of the arc that ends w bruno being like bye gonna go in the clouds and look ethereal now, oh man it makes me so sad

bc giorno is the only one that knew what happened and people that were closer to bruno due to knowing him longer didnt

i wanna see how trish coped w that personally

despite being introduced not at the beginning i think her arc and character in general were as well paced as it could be!

9/10

finally done! sorry that took so long but oh man i have so many feelings towards these guys its not even funny

[lokigodofaces]

thoughts on shang-chi and the legend of the ten rings (spoilers)

not as in depth as the loki stuff just general thoughts.

also i know nothing about chinese culture or anything so i don't really go into that

okay, i know i said i wouldnt talk about chinese culture, but this movie did feel chinese, at least to my understanding of the culture? if that makes any sense? it didnt feel like a cheap american knock off.

i loved shang-chi. he was so funny. & the trailers kind of made him out to be all serious or whatever, which i wasnt looking forward to. but he felt human and i could relate to him a lot. i loved seeing him struggle with his identity. i wanted to hug him through most the movie. simu liu was FANTASTIC. very funny, good action scenes (shout out to simu liu & the stunt double(s), since i'm sure it was a combination of them all).

katy was great. wasn't sure if i'd like her when i saw the trailers, but i loved her. she was also super relatable. i love her. she is amazing. i love how she was funny & how she was kind & actually pretty chill about everything, considering it all. & i loved how she just wanted to help shang-chi, to help the village, to help everyone.

we didn't get much of xialing, but i loved what we got. i love how she trained herself and how she was bitter towards shang-chi at first, but over time they grew together in order to save the universe. also cool fights with the knife-rope-thing (i have no idea what thats called)

wenwu is one of the best villains. he was bad in the past, put it all away to be a father, came back to it as a coping mechanism for ying li's death, and then was just trying to get his wife back because the soul eaters were tricking him. he does care about ying li, shang-chi, and xialing, although in a twisted way. & when he gave shang-chi the rings at the end. gosh. good performance. i loved him.

we didnt get much ying li, so i dont have much to say, but i quite liked her.

i also liked nan and lots of the side ta lo villagers.

wong! in the fight! teaching abomination how to fight better! i love him! also, we all keep saying he's the responsible magic user. well, i still stand by that. wanda broke reality, sylvie broke the universe, stephen is going to do something with the multiverse. fighting and doing karaoke are different

trevor! he was the person i never expected to see in this movie, but i loved seeing him. the thing about planet of the apes was hilarious, him not being dead & only performing was hilarious, the whole thing was great.

this is a good movie if you like hotel california.

the ten rings affects were so good. same with the great protector's & the sole eaters. and the ta lo martial arts affects

i loved how each character had something important to do at the climax.

lots of good callbacks. talking to the lawyer friend again, going to karaoke again. i loved it.

also i want to know what is up with that beacon in the rings!

thank heavens we dont have professor hulk. also really small but oh my gosh do i think carol looks better with long hair.

soundtrack was also really good

[thenervousmedic]

I had a minecraft dream last night...

This is going to be a long post, but bear eith me, and take the time to read it.

I don't dream about minecraft very often. In fact this might be a first. I'm still in bed while writing this, as im afraid if I wait I'll lose a bunch of the memories.

It involved myself and a few members of the Dream SMP getting sucked into MC. Ironic, I know. Dream, George, Badboyhalo, Tecnoblade, Wilbur Soot, Tommyinnit, and myself. We all looked like our avatars... mostly, and even had some special skills i'll get into later.

To be clear, they were as they are in real life in terms of personality.

I've not watched the dream smp yet... maybe I should start soon. Anyway, side tracked...

The world worked differently than normal MC. It was more realistic, especially the combat and movement. Anything you can do irl you can do here. The drawback was that it made everything harder and more exhausting.

I was dragged in a month before the others, where over the next four weeks, I'd figure out how the lives system works; how difficult movement was; that crafting was nearly the same as normal mc; and how to build.

Five lives. There was a little tracker on the back of your hand, five squares for five lives. Each life you lost, a square would disappear. But it wasnt that simple. Every tine you died you'd feel the affects of the world more. Eating took longer, everything cost more and more realistic amounts of effort, and most importantly... taking damage would actually hurt.

On your first life damage was less of a danger and more of a 'stat' to just be aware of. Getting attacked, shot, exploded next to, ect wasn't too bad. But the more you died the more these things started to get scary. Arrows would tear their way in and ve painful to remove. You'd bleed and have actual wounds that needed care.

By the time the smp members were spawning in, I'd already been reduced to my last life. I was never good at minecraft, though im alright irl with a bow it didnt help much.

You spawn in unconcious. I'd lost my first life that way. I spawned above water. A painless drowning. I hadn't gone back to the ocean since, it scared the fuck out of me.

The first to arrive was Techno. I went back to spawn for the good sheep spawns there. Found him asleep in the grass. He was lucky no creepers had spawned.

Nearly everyone was bigger than me, I'm pretty small, so hauling this guys limp piglin ass all the way to my little safety shack was really hard.

Then Dream and George one after another. Badboy. Tommy... and finally Wilbur.

Wilbur was... a special case. He was a ghost. Just like his ghostbur skin had been. Fully awake, really freaking out. I was near collapsing from taking everyone else to my home, wasnt really much of a comfort, but I at least managed to convince him to come with me after the sun started to dip.

When we got back Wilbur helped me make beds. Couldn't have everyone sleeping propped up against the walls... Wilbur couldn't grab anything, but he could open and close chests. He also found out he could manafest things like his guitar, and a plushie orca. Things that made him a little less anxious. It was nice to hear music again.

I didnt get to talk to him long. We finished the beds, put everyone on one, then I immediatly konked the fuck out over the crafting table.

By the time I woke up, everyone was already awake and talking. The typical suspects. Why are we here, how, what happened, is this even real. You get the picture. I guess usually social anxiety, especially in the presence of people I admire so much, would've been a big stressor but after a month alone in this world I damn near started bawling at the thought of someone else even existing.

I told them all I know. We are stuck here, we have lives, dont fucking lose them it makes the game harder. The physics are just as janky as regular minecraft, mobs are much more articulated, armour actually has weight and at this point I wasnt aware of the little buffs everyone had to a particular skill.

Dream was incredibly good at exploiting the game's wonky system and parkouring, even of he couldnt nessesarily do it irl.

Techno was suddenly extremely knowledgeable about combat and could handle most weapons effectively. He was also a piglin-type guy which made him immune to fire.

George's coding skills translated directly into redstone knowledge, letting him build ridiculous machines with enough respources.

Tommy had incredible luck with loot and generally got good enchants.

And Bad was, thanks to his skin, some form of demonic entity and would be completely ignored by most hostile mobs.

Wilbur, as you know, was a ghost who could phase through anything and summon ghostly items.

We didn't find out everyone's special trait immediatly, of course. It happened over many days of trail and error trying to collect resources, build, and have fun.

Turns out my skill was useless by myself, hence why I never found it before they arrived. Anything I gave to another person was twice as effective. Healing items helped more, food would fill them on smaller portions, armour would get a free temporary enchant depending on what they needed.

I'd never liked playing minecraft alone.

I'm losing some of the dream, I shoukd wtite some bullet points down or this post will be miles long.

Tommy accidently befriended a wolf, he named it Wilbur to mess with Wilbur. We had two Wilburs.

Bad was constantly driven up the wall by peoples language but truly was using it as a coping mechanism early on because he was afraid of being stuck here forever. We made sure to swear occasionally so he'd get the oportunity to yell at us.

Techno lost his first life when a creeper blast threw him directly into Dream's sword.

Dream never got over it.

Wilbur started making more songs and even made a few targetted at the groups adventures.

Wilbur descovered if he goes into the floor he cant tell which was is up, this terrified him, he never went underground again.

George made automatic farms and eventually even non-minecraft typical things like a morning alarm clock, a compass that pointed to the nearest village, and invented new armour that was more lightweight but still protective.

Wilbur the wolf regularly barked at and mauled giant spiders before they got anywhere near the house, much to literally everyone's relief.

Bad learned how to read and write enchanting table symbols.

I taught Dream how to repair his clothes and in return he showed me how to build traps.

Techno learned he could talk hoglin, piglin, and villager.

Bad learned he could stare at endermen and mistakingly assumed everyone could so he told everyone else its ok to do so.

Tommy lost his first life to an enderman.

Wilbur worked with george for a whole week on special gloves that would let him touch stuff.

I took an arrow dangerously close to the lungs after Tomny's first respawn trying to bring him home.

Dream realised he couldn't take off his mask and wished he could see the world normally again, nobody knew what his vision was like.

Bad descovered a joy for cooking.

Bad also tamed a cat and named it Muffin.

Muffin the cat would ride Wilbur the wolf around.

Dream lost his first life to hunger after pushing himself for too long.

Techno took a wrong step in the neather and lost his second life to a seriously long fall.

I never knew what I looked like...

Tommy lost his second life being overrun by zombies without a weapon. We made a rule to never leave the house alone after this many deaths.

Bad descovered pretty late that milk is poisonous to him and thus cakes will kill him. He lost a life to cake. He was devastated.

Tommy built a cute campfire. He and Wilbur would mess around singing at it. Wolf Wilbur thoroughly enjoyed this.

I would stay up most of the night watching everyone sleep because I worried the house could get invaded or surrounded. They found out after Phantoms started spawning and made a rule that at least one of then would stay awake at night to make me feel better.

George built Dream an obstacle course with lots of moving parts and such. He ran it every morning.

I learned how to play guitar from Wilbur at the campfire.

Torches never burnt out after they arrived. No idea why.

That's all I can remember...

It was a hard dream, I was sad and angry sometimes... but the happy moments made it worth it.

I hope I return to that dream someday.

[brelione]

Just Wanna Be Happy (Pope HeywardxReader)

Warnings:Mentions of self harm,depression,medication,suicide.Please do not read if youre triggered by these topics.This wasnt written to glamorize mental illness this is kind of just my coping mechanism because I just got out of a depressing period.Depression effects people differently but this fanfic has ways that its effected me so yeah.

You had never been a very social person.Or a friendly person or even a happy person.You kind of just existed without purpose or reason.Its not like you didnt want to be happy because of course you did.It just wasnt something that could come naturally to you in your everyday life.It was summer and you had hardly left your house at all.Most time was spent in your room.It had been days since you had showered or brushed your hair or even changed your clothes.You hadnt done you laundry in weeks or eaten a proper meal in days.You were an absolute mess since you had stopped taking your medication.You didnt know why but you just couldnt bring yourself to take them anymore.You felt guilty for not replying to any of your friends messages.

“Hey :) do you wanna hang out with us tomorrow?”Read Tuesday 9:48 PM. “Hey have you been taking your meds?Your mom wanted me to check up on you :)”Read at 1:48 PM today.

Your mom was staying with family in California this summer to work on a book.She would transfer ten dollars to your bank account everyday.You hadnt spent any of it.She had sent you countless texts to ask how you were doing or if you had gotten your refill.Your skin was dull from not seeing the sun,the hair on your legs had grown long and prickly and you smelt like absolute shit.You heard a knock at your door,the sound echoing through your empty house.You worked up the strength to get up,dragging your feet as you walked.You felt dizzy and nauseous as you walked,couldnt even feel your feet touching the ground.Your kitchen was an absolute mess,frying pan with maple syrup stuck to it and the sink full of dirty smelling dishes.You opened the door,blocking your eyes from the sun to see Pope.

He let out a sigh of relief,pulling you into a hug. “God (Y/N)!You cant do that!Jesus,I thought you died.”He sighed,squeezing you tightly.You didnt bother hugging back,letting your head rest against him. “I was getting worried about you-its been like two weeks since you’ve talked to me.”He grumbled,pulling away from the hug and observing your face.You had a couple of pimples across your forehead from not washing your face,your skin was splotchy and your eyes puffy. “Have you been taking your meds?”He asked.You didnt answer,watching as he walked over to the cabinet to pull out the orange pill bottle.It was still half full.He looked at the date that it was supposed to be refilled.Two days ago. “You have to take these every day!”He exclaimed.You sighed,not really caring.THis wasnt what you needed to hear right now.You didnt exactly know what you needed to hear but that was definitely not it.

 “When was the last time you showered?”He asked.You shrugged,not remembering.All the days had merged together.You slept a lot even when you didnt need it.The only time you really got up was to use the bathroom or vomit into your trash bin. “And the last time you ate?”He asked.You mumbled that you werent sure,embarrassed that someone had seen you in this state.He turned on your shower,letting the room get steamy from the hot water.He went into your messy room,making his way through the piles of crumpled paper and dirty clothing to your dresser.He grabbed you a new pair of underwear,a sportsbra,a loose t shirt and some comfy looking shorts.He assisted you in getting your hair out of the bun it was in,letting the snagglt knots loose. “I’m going to make you some food,okay?”You nodded.He closed the bathroom door.

You pulled off your dirty clothes,nearly gagging at the smell of yourself.You stepped into the shower,letting the burning hot water touch your back and head.You poured a fistfull of conditioner in your hair to try and help with the knots.You sat down,closing your eyes and letting the conditioner rinse out.You poured at least a fourth of the bottle of shampoo into your hair,scrubbing your scalp aggressively.You used the suds from the shampoo to wash under your arms and your back.You used the same suds in replacement of shaving cream to shave your legs only up to your knee.The water was going cold but you didnt care,laying down and letting the water smack your stomach.Pope knocked at the door before opening it. “(Y/N)?You okay?”He asked.You sat up,eyes still shut as you turned off the water. “I made you some frozen waffles.”He informed you before closing the door again.

You waited until all of the water went down the drain until you stood up,slowly stepping onto the bath mat.At least you didnt smell so disgusting now.What really worried you was brushing your hair out mostly because you knew it would hurt and half your hair would most likely fall out.You grabbed a towel,rubbing down your body.You had some faded scars on your thighs and calves but none on your wrist.Mainly because you knew no one would check your legs.It had been five months since you harmed yourself and you were proud.You probably would’ve relapsed eventually if you were even able to work up the energy to do it.You groaned as you saw the pimples on your face,grabbing your face wash that you hadnt used in so long.You scrubbed your face,rinsing the soap off and patting your skin dry.

You looked back up at the mirror.You could barely recognize yourself.You looked like a deformed radiation exposed raccoon.You saw the clothes Pope had picked for you,pulling them on over your damp skin.You slowly brushed your teeth,blood leaking from your gums as you did so.You dragged yourself out of the bathroom,the cold air of the kitchen hitting you.Pope wa sitting at your kitchen table.A plate of eggos sat on a paper plate,a cup of water sitting in front of it. “I’ll go grocery shopping for you later.”He offered as you sat down.You shook your head. “No...its fine.”You answered as you stared down at the plate. “You dont have anything to eat here.Let me go grocery shopping and cook for you.”He spoke softly,taking a pill from your prescription bottle and holding it in his palm.

 “Can you please eat so you can take this?”He asked.You took a bite of the eggo,wanting nothing more than to spit it out into the garbage.You chewed it to mush and swallowed,looking back at him. “Good.”He handed you the pill. “I dont want to take this.”You told him.He sighed,nodding. “I know,I know you dont but it’ll make you feel better.”He told you.You dipped your head back,dropping the pill in your mouth and sipping the water. “All I want is to be happy….why is that so much to ask for?”You grumbled,looking down at your cup.He reached out for your hand,rubbing his thumb along your palm. “You’ll be happy one day.If you take your medicine and make your environment better you’ll feel better.”He had probably read that bullshit in some book.You rolled your eyes. “What does that even mean?”You asked.You placed his hand over yours,tapping his nails against your fingertips. “Just let me take care of you until your mom gets back,alright?”He asked.You hummed,too tired to argue.

He grabbed your hairbrush and a bottle of detangler from your bathroom and got to work on your hair.It didnt hurt too bad and he was careful with your hair almost like it was precious gold. “Do you wanna watch a movie?”He asked.You shrugged but followed him to your living room.It was the one room besides your mothers that you hadnt completely fucked up.He went on Disney Plus and allowed you to flick through the titles until you found something you liked.You chose Inside Out.He grinned at you,kissing your forehead before disappearing into your room.He picked up the clothes off your floor and assumed they were dirty,tossing them into your washing machine.

He stuffed your trash bin full of all the paper and random trash on your floor.He grabbed the stacks of plates,forks and molding mugs from you floor and on top of your dresser.He did a load of dishes,switching your clothes from your washer to your dryer.You had fallen asleep on the couch with the movie still on.He made your bed for you,killing a few bugs that had been hiding under all of the trash.He called his dad. “Pope?You okay?” “mhm..yeah.Um...im gonna be away from home for a while.” “What-no the hell you’re not.” “Dad-” “No-what am I gonna do with all these grocery deliveries?” “Dad-Its (Y/N).” Silence. “Is she….uhh..” “No-no.She’s been off her meds and i think someones gotta be here to take care of her while her moms out of town.” “Alright...just be careful with her.”The call ended.Pope sighed as he looked at your room.It was much much cleaner now that he was done with it.

He sat down on the couch next to your sleeping figure,paying attention to the movie in front of him.You sat up tiredly,wrapping your arms around his torso and moving him so you could rest your head on his tummy. “I think thats whats happening to me.”You spoke,gesturing to the TV.Joy and Sadness had just left the headquarters which left only fear,anger and disgust.He nodded,understanding what you were trying to tell him. “Maybe.”He replied.You sighed,tracing circles onto his skin through his shirt. “I wanna learn how to be happy...it might take a while but I just wanna be happy,you know?”You asked.He hummed,moving his arms so he was holding you. “I’ll help anyway I can.”He promised,stroking your hair lightly.

[hermywolf]

ranking my favorite characters about random shit part 5

ranking my favorite characters (clarke griffin, dean winchester, fox mulder, rose tyler, newt, kaz brekker, samwise gamgee, charles xavier, bill denbrough, lord asriel, steve rogers, scott mccall, anna milton and barry berkman) about random shit. this is entirely self-indulgent

Part 5: How they’d react to a breakup (i’m imagining a completely random oc as the one breaking up with them because if i start thinking of the people i ship them with breaking up with them i WILL cry)

1- NEWT

he’s the sweetest man on earth he’d want to talk about it and understand his partner’s reasons and he’d be so kind and understanding even though he’d be sad lemme tell you this man is a SAINT

2- STEVE ROGERS

sweet understanding KING. absolute TREASURE. he’d be so confused and sad at first but he’d be SO understanding UGH i am in love with this man

3- SCOTT MCCALL

remember when allison sorta kinda broke up with him and he was all sweet and kind about it and said that he believed they would find their way to each other again eventually. yeah. iconic behavior. king shit

4- SAMWISE GAMGEE

he’s the PRESIDENT of ‘let’s stay friends!’ squad he’ll definitely stay in touch with all his exes they’re all his absolute besties

5- CHARLES XAVIER

mr telepath mindreader therapist teacher man absolutely sees it coming from a thousand miles away and he might even be the one to bring it up so that his partner doesn’t worry about it. he will be sad but he gets over it in a healthy way because he’s (MOSTLY) in touch with his feelings

6- ANNA MILTON

for a fallen angel with a bit of a god complex she’s surprisingly well adjusted. i think she’s the kind to definitely stay friends with her exes except like two of them which she’s got five different plans to murder each. all in all if it’s a healthy breakup they stay friends if it involves cheating she’s out to get you motherfucker and you know what you deserve it i mean who the FUCK would cheat on ANNA MILTON of all people istg

7- DEAN WINCHESTER

whoever thinks dean is emotionally constipated enough to be the ‘i didnt like u anyway’ kind has NOT seen spn 1x13 road 666 like GUYS. he pretends to be this no-chick-flick-moments and no-attachment kinda dude but we all know he actually cares SO much and if you look at his relationship with cassie or lisa he’s actually pretty open and communicative and sincere and he geniunely tries to talk about shit with them?? so he does have a constructive and heartfelt conversation and says he understands but he also WILL cope by either going on more hunts to distract himself or by locking himself in his room with pizza and movies in his hotdog pants and send noods socks, s14 style. TONS of ice cream. he’ll ghost his ex for a while when he’s coping with it but then later on they do end up being besties (yes i AM on the team dean-becomes-bff-with-all-his-exes don’t mind me just spreading my dean being besties with anna, cassie, lisa,amara, benny and crowley agenda)

8- BILL DENBROUGH

he’s pissed and sad and offended and grumpy and confused he just feels a LOT of shit at the same time like he’s having a full breakdown inside but from the outside his reaction is pretty much ‘what. oh. ok’

9- LORD ASRIEL

he does not, and mark my words on this one, give a single fuck. he IS what kaz pretends to be and what ketterdam thinks he is. asriel does not give a FLYING FUCK he’s like ‘well ok then see you around i guess’ and then just moves on. he was probably cheating on his partner anyway if we’re being honest here, he’s just that terrible. god why is he my favorite character again- oh right he’s insanely hot and wants to murder god right right that tracks

10- FOX MULDER

he’s extremely sweet and compassionate and understanding but then he disappears for like five months to chase down an alien in guatemala or some shit and then comes back pretending as if nothing happened at all

11- CLARKE GRIFFIN

she’s NOT happy about it and gets all grumpy and pouty and will angrily rant about it to her friends for ages but then once she’s over it she’s like. OVER over it. she completely moves on, like full on flip the switch and the feelings are GONE

12- ROSE TYLER

full breakdown in her room with tubs and tubs of ice cream wondering what she did wrong and then probably gets offered by a friend to go throw eggs at their house or some dumb shit. rose says no but she ALMOST did it. she keeps asking if there’s someone else even when it’s very clear that there’s NOT.

13- KAZ BREKKER

allow me to introduce you to the pettiest bitch on EARTH. he will definitely not hurt his ex in any way but he’ll do his absolute best to show them how much they’re missing. like he’s PETTY about it he’ll hold a gruge months, no year, no DECADES after it happened. he shows absolutely no emotions whatsoever you’d barely notice there’s been any change in his behavior, he’s not, like, sad or angry or anything, he’s just suddenly VERY devoted to the fact that everyone must know how AMAZING he’s doing and how rich and powerful and feared he is and how much a hypothetical ex-partner is missing. like this bitch probably has a full twenty pages long plan about what to do in case he gets dumped so that his ex will regret it terribly. and the worst is that kaz is a smart bitch who knows people’s weaknesses and how to exploit them so it WORKS it works and he absolutely loves it, jesper is like ‘dude how come every single time you got dumped they came back asking you to get back together only for you to reject them EXACTLY five months later’ and kaz hiding the twenty pages long binder with his elaborated plan behind his back as if it wasn’t carefully calculated and just shrugging like ‘idk i guess im a catch’ he makes everyone SO angry and honestly good for him!

14- BARRY BERKMAN

two words: murder spree. healthy coping mechanisms WHO we don’t know her in this house he’s sad and angry and he’s going to make it YOUR problem. guns out angry bill hader face ON baby. pew pew motherfucker it’s murder time. bam thirty casualties. rip to them. and he doesn’t even feel better after it either he’s crushed by guilt and having ANOTHER breakdown which will result in MORE ptsd and more sadness and anger and eventually ANOTHER breakdown and ANOTHER murder spree. its a lose-lose situation for everyone. except for his partner who’s free of his shit now i guess so true of them

[skamamoroma]

I didn’t have time to post after yesterday’s clip but I’m kinda happy I waited till today.

Ohhhhh man.

I genuinely understand both viewpoints here. The boys love Arthur. This is indisputable. They love him and Baz especially adores him with all his heart. The show really has done a stellar job of confirming that, of showing us how much they all mean to one another.

They’ve ALSO done an amazing job of showing us how much Arthur loves them. I feel so sure in how he feels about those 3. He lights up around them, he feels comforted by them, they are his escape and his joy and he surrounds himself with reminders of them from photos in his room to his phone screensaver...

But things have changed a lot and they’re going to change even more. The boys didn’t do what they did on Friday out of malice. That’s so obvious. They were absolutely wrong in what they did but there’s no doubt in my mind they didn’t sit around and plot about how to hurt their friend.

Arthur’s life and how he views and interacts with the world has clearly changed very rapidly and he has had to, very quickly, come to terms with that. He still isn’t there at all. He’s struggling himself and so are those around him, all of them trying to adapt to Arthur’s new needs and he DOES have them. He has also understandably been slow to accept them and also to communicate them.

But he did eventually! The boys have tried various things with Arthur and we saw time and time again that they didn’t work. Arthur eventually spoke about it and explained to them and was told “it doesn’t matter what we do, as long as you’re there”.

And I believe it. I believed Baz when he said that and I still do.

I think the problem is that the three boys want to do all the things they normally do but are worried about Arthur not enjoying it or finding it difficult or being put in a position where he feels forced etc. All of this is ARTHUR’s choice but they made it for him. I can see perhaps how they got there. They wanted to go to a gig, it meant loud noises and overwhelming stimulus and so after what Arthur told them, they thought he wouldn’t enjoy it or be able to feel comfortable and so they tried to spare his feelings and go behind his back.

Not cool. Not ok. Horribly hurtful for Arthur and it even turns out Arthur WAS able to go, was very much able to be there and enjoy it and had even thought of it himself 😫

I saw loads of posts saying the behaviour of the boys was out of character and... I don’t think I 100% agree. It was brutal and I felt disappointed in them and I hurt for Arthur (those tears, man!) but even after all Baz said etc I can still see how they did it. It wasn’t malicious but just horribly done and a little thoughtless. They love Arthur and have shown time and time again how they want to try hard to support him and be there for him. They just screwed up and didnt consider how this might impact Arthur and didn’t give him the respect he deserves to just ASK him. Had they even maybe said “we want to go to this concert, I know it might be loud and you said that stuff might be difficult for you, would it be? Could you still come? Would you have any issues with us going?”. That would have been much better than just making that decision for him and lying consistently!

And then today. Ouch. I felt that. All of it. I felt the hurt and the anger and also the shame and guilt. But Arthur has every right to say what he said and he got it off his chest. I love that they established Arthur as someone who isn’t shy and can be really assertive and kinda forceful when he needs to be.

Baz’s face destroyed me. I have no doubt that he’d have gone home and genuinely cried. They all looked so upset they’d hurt Arthur and I am pleased they were told. I love them all and I think this kind of thing is interesting to develop because we’ve seen that all of the characters have been acting as per the lessons they’ve learned previously BUT this is a different situation. Lucas, for example, is still not infallible. He understands Eliott and loves Eliott and I dare say would NEVER do anything like that with Eliott but at the same time, he is in love with a Eliott so that dynamic shifts stuff and also Eliott has a mental illness and not a physical disability. The way Arthur has to adapt to the world is a little different and presents a different set of considerations and Lucas perhaps hasn’t made the link that some of the feelings Eliott may feel are applicable to Arthur’s situation too.

I desperately want something between Arthur and Eliott. I think Arthur will retreat towards Noèe and Camille and I can’t blame him because they can offer a comfort for him at the moment (and oh god the whole thing with Noèe is going to be messy I fear) but I kinda wish Arthur would have a moment with Eliott because he really truly can provide a viewpoint the others can’t and would be so sweet to him. Eliott can understand having his life flipped upside down and having something that changes how he lives life day to day. Keeping my fingers crossed for that!! Also I desperately want to know what space means to Arthur. Eliott sees himself as a raccoon for various reasons and Arthur seems to use a similar coping mechanism and considers himself a lonely astronaut... navigating a new alien world, by himself.

I am so intrigued as to how they are going to get the boys back together. Their dynamic is so interesting and has depth after all this time. There’s a lot of love there but also they’re young and idiotic at times. I’m pleased they chose to tamper a little with them because, to me, WAY MORE THAN ANYTHING ROMANTIC, they are the most interesting and important dynamic for Arthur.

I just hope Baz isn’t crying too hard right now!

[splendidshinobi]

FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST 2003 LIVE REACT: EPISODES 6-10

back at it again with the white vans

episode 6: the alchemy exam

alrighty then

um mustang calling edward “ed” is EXTREMELY offputting

ohhhhhhh noooooo not shou tucker

FUCK

im wholly unprepared

them all being in central instead of east is low key jarring like my brain isnt computing it

alexander’s intro is basically the same 

nina bbyyyyy girl u deserved so much better

ed is such a fucking nerd...chemistry club modern au confirmed

god the more tucker talks the more i wanna beat his face in

al pretending to eat by tossing a potato in his armor i-

aww theyre playing in the snow theyre so pure

wonder how long thatll last

“bigger brother” and “little big brother” and ed doesnt even get mad

ed’s birthday party????????

A MELON? ED YOURE SO RUDE

so 03 had ed’s bday instead of elicia’s...CAUSE THEY GOT ELICIA IN THE WOMB

“it’s here!” “the tea?” “the baby!” hughes is a fuck head

ok so now they’re having elicia replace rush valley baby arc

this was winry’s time to shine in fmab i miss her 

if winry isnt here who is gonna birth this baby

oh my god they just realized ed can use alchemy without a circle

no wonder he’s been using circles this whole time

SO ELICIA JUST POPPED OUT????? WHAT

STUFF ALEXANDER IN THE ARMOR AND PRETEND YOURE A TALKING DOG???

“i dont think thats very funny” NO ALPHONSE IT IS NOT

THEY KNEW EXACTLY WHAT THEY WERE DOING WITH THAT ONE I SWEAR TO GOD IN THIS ESSAY I WILL

damn bradley what up homie

im so thrown off by the way theyre doing the exam omg

seriously what the hell is fuhrer bradley’s purpose right now is he even the fuhrer in this i feel like they wouldve mentioned it

oh lord ed is about to impress everyone with his clappy hands

ok so next episode is nina FUCK

episode 7: night of the chimera’s cry

havoc babeeee

im gonna marry him my himbo king

also can RIZA DO SOMETHING PLZ

“huhhhhhhhh nina” ew tucker that was weirdly gross

wonder why

cant do it cant do it

do we think jean kirstein was modeled after jean havoc slightly looks wise

was that purposeful 

ill have to google 

serial killer who only targets women?  it cant be scar...scar drinks respect women juice

barry or slicer bros maybe? um ok

why did we start with liore if they were just gonna hop right back into the past for a huge chunk of episodes idk

assessment day??? oh noodles

AL WHY DID YOU TELL TUCKER TO MAKE ANOTHER TALKING CHIMERA ALPHONSE NO

THE NOISE I EMITTED IM GONNA TAKE A LAP

im gonna FUCKING SCREAM

ed r u writing to winry??? that’s a bit out of character for u good sir

no tucker put that baby down

im gonna fucking SCREAM

aww he burned nina’s picture thats not sus at all

SHESKA!!!!!

wait does the ironblood alchemist know what tucker did to his wife? thats kinda the vibe im getting

SCARRRRRRRR

looking like a pirate too damn

his voice sounds different is that j michael tatum 

apparently not it was dameon clarke in 03 ya learn something new everyday 

ew elicia has a lot of hair for a FUCKING NEWBORN

ed really is such a cynic very suspicious of everyone as he should be really

basque grand knowS SOMETHING

oh jesus oh fuck oh god please do not TOUCH THAT BABY

ed and al snuck back in to the house well u know what its for the best

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

im gonna cry again please god no

FUCKING DIE SHIT HOLE

she’s hurting? oh my god

my sweet angel

ew his eyes!!!!!!! 

tucker is such a fucking failure...like look at the chimera squad and greed’s theatre troupe being the way they are. ugh it really hits how fucking unfair it is 

ed was really about to split them? boy you know better

where is nina going...im hurting

ed really tried to save her in this one

SCAR KILLS NINA IN THE STREETS???????? SIR

thats different

oh snap 

oh FUCK

SCAR WHY DID YOU LEAVE HER BODY LIKE THAT

THE WAY SHE WAS ARRANGED ON THE WALL THAT WAS FUCKED UP

AND THEY FOUND HER LIKE THAT???? AT LEAST IN BROTHERHOOD THEY DIDNT HVE TO SEE HER CORPSE ARE YOU SHITTING ME?

that was fucked.

episode 8: the philosopher’s stone

can yall get ed and al away from nina’s fucking MURAL 

get out of the car mustang

finally jesus christ

roy mustang talking about healthy coping mechanisms dont make me laugh but alright baby boy go off i guess?

im curious about who this goddamn serial killer is though lets turn to that plot thread

r u kidding me

mustang is making ed and al take over tucker’s research?? thats actually wildly messed up

oh tucker was straight executed that’s a choice i guess

tucker and the philosopher’s stone sounds inaccurate but ok

ed please stop being mean to your brother

03 mustang has got me reaching for a fucking baseball bat on GOD

scar and edward having this conversation right now i literally cannot

WINRY yes bitch

BRADLEY WHAT IN TARNATION

JESUS LORRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDDD

alphonse shut your mouthhhhhhhhhhh

im so confused what is bradley up to

“alchemists are not cold blooded murderers?”

i mean

kimblee would beg to differ for one

whos this creepy lady 

her voice sounds familiar

barry’s food shop?

the killer is barry ok got it

IS BARRY DISGUISED AS A WOMAN

I KNEW THAT WAS JERRY JEWELL’S VOICE

WELL I KNEW IT SOUNDED FAMILIAR AT LEAST

WINRY GET OUT OF THE FUCKING TRUCk

has PINAKO TAUGHT YOU NOTHING

ok so i VASTLY prefer suit of armor original manga canon barry

this is such an odd plot what in fuck

um OW the meat cleaver

im so confused this fucking plotline

oh hey alphonse nice of you to show up!

is barry still gonna become a suit of armor later on

it makes NO SENSE to introduce him otherwise 

everytime i see 03 mustang i wanna beat his ass HONESTLY

literally i will shove my foot up his ass

fullmetal here we go

ed thinks he’s so punk rock 

oh great scar’s seen the watch

episode 9: be thou for the people

ed you simp buying winry all this stuff my edwin heart is ascending

SIMP SIMP SIMP

“mr. elric”?? you mean MAJOR ELRIC

to be fair though fuck the military

YOUSWELL??? oh LORD

im gonna need to read a full chronology of this show

 alphonse continues to be a precious angel 

where’s my boy yoki!!!!!

edward you idiot don’t go flaunting your money

woof woof ed

al looks so offended by ed saying they just met

whereas in brotherhood didnt he totally throw ed under the bus??? 

a choice to be sure

ah there he is hello yoki

who’s the chick

shes a lesbian

yoki makes me miss my baby girl mei chang

mei where r u

WAS THIS MILITARY DUDE REALLY ABOUT TO CUT DOWN A CHILD??? oh my god

hawkeye getting a promotion yes bby girl

jesus theyre transferring them to east now OKKKKKAY thats not how it happened it the book but ill take it....just doing it the opposite way i guess

who is lyra who is she

cute some military bribery 

umm lyra what the fuck did you do

lyra is a homunculus im callin it now

they definitely invented/changed up some homunculi in fact im certain they did and shes one of em. gotta be

i feel like 03 wrote ed as much more insensitive towards others than he really is...just a vibe im getting

i know he was faking for the townspeople’s sake but i still get this vibe from other instances 

i mean i cant say its not “canon” because its 03 canon

anyways what a show off

i cant believe theyre going to east...fuery and breda better be there

ok finally some answers on their ages....ed got his license at 12 like normal and nina and youswell were when he was 12...liore was 15, 

if they didnt flash the ages on the screen id be lost honestly

at least we’re back up to “present day”

episode 10: the phantom thief

ed saying he doesnt wanna see mustang

same

03 mustang is activating my fight or flight and im choosing fight

ed cheating at cards totally checks out

um who the fuck is this woman

what is she wearing

SERIOUSLY WHAT IS THAT CUTOUT MAAM HOW DO YOUR C**CHY LIPS NOT POKE OUT

idk but this is fem!hisoka

“hey shouldnt we talk first” after getting handcuffed??? christ almighty these innuendos

siren??????? siren is probably also a “fake” homunculus

ugh

ok so the nurse is siren

ya aint slick girly

alphonse control your crush

I REFUSE!!!! ALMEI RIGHTS

why is al’s hair so brown in this flashback anywayssss

oh its spelled psiren ope

like she’s literally a batman villain...

oh my god...............the tiddy grab. my son would never

my son is respectful

is this her homunculus tat or just a random alchemy tat

the added plotlines and original content continue to confuse and astound me every single time....

ok but if psiren really was doing this for the hospital she wouldnt be so flashy about it. like thats how you get caught sweet cheeks

girly stop flirting with this child on god im gonna fucking kick you

now shes a nun????????????????

Shes a fucking troll i hate her

im going to kick alphonse into the sun 

oh great now shes a teacher

wow shes a savior. the savior of amestrian venice. greatttttt

ed looking exactly like this emoji on this gondola rn 🧍‍♀️

STOP FLIRTING WITH THE CHILD 

GOD THIS IS SO BATMAN VILLAIN ESQUE

alphonse plzzzzzzzzzz she aint your girl

ok so probably not the last we see of this ding dong con artist

ok so its starting to get muddy. im scared the 03 stans are gonna come after me like i do like it and im having fun watching it but some of the plot and characterization choices are just....odd??? idk i gotta keep going though!! im sorry i just stan arakawa and her work in all her glory!!!