#and they DONT THINK THE FACT SHE HAD COVID HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT??? THE BREATHING IS HARD DISEASE???

[silouvertongues]

read everything i know about love it and kinda put me in a lil depressive mood lol ??

[hontou-baka]

im so sick GOD IM SICK OF BEING SICK

but i found out the sex of my baby and as fucked as it is im so happy i dont have to figure out how to teach em how to clean their foreskin 🙏

[thai-with-booty]

What was your favourite sex encounter while you were on the job and working? (At a normal job, not a sex place)

To be honest, mostly with work like in a hotel I have been professional, and there isnt really the chance to do anything or act upon anything if on reception. and places like the massage, i mean sex or sex acts were not really unsurprising.

I think it was when i worked a bit as a maid. It was just after Covid, in fact international tourism hadnt really kicked off but some could arrive and had to quarentine for a few days and so I got a job cleaning villas. They were big villas that often a family or could of families would rent, and had muliple bedrooms and a pool. Though you would get all different kinds of people staying there.

I wrote a long time ago, probably when it happened that I was actually working with another girl, cos there was a group of guys who had had a party the night before and we were in cleaning, I think they probably got charged extra but that wasnt really my concern. Usually i would come in to clean alone but now there was another woman, bit older. So we were cleaning for hours, they were around but mostly ignored us and were laid out by the pool hungover. It was only when I was cleaning one of the bedrooms when one of the guys came in, I asked politely if he needed to use the room, it was more a curtasy, like if he needed to change etc. He said no, and then sort of stood there, I turned again and noticed he was looking at me, not like horny or anything, but more like he wanted to say something. So i asked is everything ok. He said like ok im just going to come out with it, you see my friends over by the pool, I glanced over and could see them looking in the direction of the room through the big glass doors, though they probably couldnt see much from the sunlight outside. He said they had a bet if he could have sex with me, I was genuinely surprised and was like what. He said they had all chipped in and he would get $1000 if he managed it, and he would give me half. I started the whole im not a prostitute thing, and he was like its not that its just a tip for helping me out. It more money than the maid job pays in a month and I had earned very little during covid and with a sick relative was in debt, something that has lingered until even today. So I agreed, it wasnt a quick or straightforward as that but I was like right here right now? and he was like yes. I said one moment and went to see the other girl asking if she would take a break, she seemed to know something was going on, not sure if she had seen the guy enter the room. It was a bit awkward and I dont know how she felt about it but she left, I could hear a noise from out by the pool when she did. I went back into the room and he had pulled the curtain closed so it was dim, but had his swim shorts off and was standing naked hard already. I pulled my shorts and underwear down and went to bed over the bed, he rolled on a condom and started rubbing his cock against my pussy lips until they came alive and moistened so his cock slid in. He fucked me in that position for about 10-15 minutes before he came. He thanked me and took his full condom and my underwear with him as a trophy. I could hear cheers and no way etc. I had enjoyed it, it was spontaneous and just good sex, and I made $500 from it. Though when I was fired, that fuck was used against me so I dont think the other maid had been that impressed with it all

[planet-crait]

Episode 11! Still mad vibing with the intro song and I refuse to emotionally dive into why the first line of the song hits so hard for me. I can’t really get a strong sense for what the wish will be this episode, maybe she wishes to live the life of a mystery movie? I’m intrigued.

Aww movie night with Hazel and her dad. That’s cute and oh it’s a mystery movie. I love them both guessing who the criminal really is. And oh her dad is leaving early. I wonder if they normally stay up really late watching? It’s cute father daughter bonding time but it’s sad we haven’t seen Hazel get that with her mom. Also sad her dad is cutting off early.

Ohhh okay so I don’t recall us seeing Hazel get this angry before. I love Father Time casually sliding in and out again sadly and no one seems to have noticed this just. I don’t know why it got a laugh out of me.

Maybe that’s why he fights so hard for control of time based wishes he just really wants an excuse to grant wishes. Cosmo why are you so sad shouldn’t you know Father Time will jump in?

I like that Hazels focus is wanting to solve mysteries instead of being angry with her dad. It’s a small thing but we do continuously see Hazel trying to focus her feelings onto what she can do or change instead of lashing out at people.

COSMO WANDA DONT LET SMALL CHILD WANDER AROUND AT NIGHT! Though I guess as magical beings they can overall protect Hazel BUT STILL.

I uh. Ima just uh move on past the squirrel and pigeon thing just uh. Okay.

Oh Hazel. Looking for a mystery when there likely isn’t one. This is going to end badly I think. Oh honey you gave up after like two seconds that’s not enough time to answer. Also why didn’t Cosmo and Wanda hide before she knocked? I know the writers knew no one would answer but they didn’t so they should be hidden.

I was almost right. Not sure why she had to wish that if she found the mystery already. Also uh I’ve actually never heard the term “gumshoe” before. You learn something new lolz. Wait uh did Wanda put Hazel in a movie or something? Why is Hazel interviewing her I’m confused. Wanda was with you before and after she disappeared so why she is a suspect is confusing.

Okay I will give it to Hazel these people are kind of weird taking in and out large boxes is odd. Or maybe I’ve moved too many times who knows lolz.

I love how only the kid notices Hazel is a kid. I don’t know why no one else has noticed, unless they’re just hand waving it in gf as a kid being a kid? Oh poor Cosmo, it’s an easy to miss detail but you can see Cosmos pained expression as Hazel is writing. I don’t always think about how that stuff could be painful for Cosmo and Wanda when they’re disguised but it makes sense.

Wait is it the next day now? The whole black and white thing makes it harder to tell how time is moving.

Lolz oh Hazel. You’re so silly I love you. I am once again reminded how weird I was as a kid to want to go to bed. Now as an adult I avoid it. Also love how Hazel knows a lot of expressions other kids don’t know lolz.

Wait why is Hazels mom not in black and white? Hazels dad is dropping facts lolz. Wait why is it flashing between black and white I’m so confused.

How did they install so many locks so quickly? Do they not work and have time to spend all day doing this? Why let their kids go to school if they’re so worried? Wait for now? I’m know this will probably have a “reasonable” explanation but I can’t think of any.

Wait are they like not human or something? Fairies? Aliens in disguise? That would explain why they’re acting so weird and pushing so hard the “normal humans” thing. Lolz toilet paper hoard is bringing back Covid PTSD from guests at the hotel I worked at stealing and hoarding stuff like this. It was chaos the poor housekeeping carts kept getting raided like no tomorrow it made their lives hell.

Uh back to the episode ugh why can’t she unwish the wish? I don’t get the logic here. Oh twins lolz. Wait why are they eating without the kids? That’s not cool. When would the dad have done anything Hazel? He gave her a package and left?

Okay sure fine weird but uh fine. But what about the “for now” comment I need answers here. Wait the old land lady left a bunch of trash for the new people moving in? Thats like evil. Also they are still like super weird. Why throw perfectly good food and dishes on the floor to toss? When do the boys get to eat?

How did no one know the old land lord was leaving? Changes in management usually alert the current tenants. And why give someone who is leaving a welcome gift?

While not a bad episode, it’s not one I really enjoyed all that much. Though it did have some cute moments with Hazel. I did think the twist with the twins was well done. These new neighbors though still haven’t answered some questions that I have a sinking feeling won’t ever get answered. Oh well. Onto the next one!

[ravewing]

hieeee!! i just read all of terror of talons in one sitting and omg its so good hehe... condor is my fave i miss him :,(

anyways i just wanted to ask if you have any voiceclaims for the characters!! if this means anything i imagine arroyo to have a brooklyn accent :>

cant wait for the next part! i care these blorbos so much

in ONE ??! (1) sitting is insane i love you anon !?!???? thats like three hours holy

anyhow yes i do have voice headcanons for a few characters thank you somuch for the ask .!!! is it called a headcanon still if theyre my characters .. who knows

shrike – definitely liam plecak (hfjone) .. i dontknow why tbh but theres just something about him. i could also see him sounding like sunburst mlp or francis from felidae a little bit

condor – hmm idk i imagine him with like a playful jock-type himbo voice but i canNOT come up with a character. maybe kronk from emperors new groove? but like not as deep.. actually like a blend of kronk and brett hand from inside job. actually maybe we can throw shining armor mlp in there too

ptarmigan – trophy from ii methinks ..

cathartes – EASILY sweetie belle from mlp like is this even a question ??

queen markhor – mother gothel easy . next

kaolin – perhaps something similar to felicity from felidae ? like a mix of that and wendy from the newer seasons of south park

chimaera – honestly knife from ii like do you see the vision ..

general claymore – george washington from libertys kids !! fun fact i loosely had george in mind when i was writing him. also i know he had like one line but colonel whimbrel sounds like hamilton from libertys kids

arroyo – 100% agree with you about the brooklyn accent .no characters r coming to mind but yeah

strix – adult kyle broflovski from like the post covid thingy they made a couple years back ...

hereafter – princess luna mlp !! like literally she is her with the whole dream visiting thing and idk i just feel like they have suuper similar vibes .....

puma – ive never watched wander over yonder but ive seen clips and omg sylvias voice suits her EXACTLY. like its crazy

lieutenant hickory and captian fen – braeburn mlp and bloberta puppington respectively

i dont think ive properly given princess aracari nor panthera proper introductions but aracari definitely sounds like trixie (ESPECIALLY when she was more of an antagonist in the series) and panthera is charlotte stern from hfjone hehe ..

i feel like this is such a random mix of characters and there are a lot of like unimportant one-off background characters that i just skipped over but whatever. if anyone has any requests for characters i missed then hash tag comments please let me know !!

[kinniie00]

HEY BUDDY :D !!! lion, maine coon, american shorthair, tiger, cougar, and fishing cat !!

HIIII!!! 👾

This is so many omg

Lion - I'm probably most proud of how far I've come over the last few years, I went through a lot and am still learning to live with some of it. It's definitely shaped a bit of who I am now, but I'd like to think I have grown from it and carried it with me rather than living in that dump forever :) AND MY FRIENDS IM SO SO SO PROUD OF THEM AND HOW MUCH THEY'VE DONE AND I WISH THE BEST FOR ALL OF YOU :((

Maine Coon - Honestly I'm not too sure how others would describe me, or even how to encapsulate my personality into one word--I'd like to say I'm energetic but I also have my moments of not being as much, I'm nice but I know I can be a bitch, I'm a lot of things but I'm really unsure of what word could describe me, plus I don't remember any good descriptive words rn :') (I'm so tired)

American Shorthair - I have many things that comfort me, id say my friends are my biggest comfort, as cheesy as it is. My friends remind me I'm not alone and have reasons to keep going, even when it feels impossible. I also often tend to latch onto games and streamers/YouTubers for comfort (a big one is hermitcraft!! :D), many of the people I watch now are people who practically raised me and I love them dearly. Another few smaller things that I find help comfort me are things like music, tea, or small things like animals (my cat!!!) or stuffed animals :3

Tiger - Another one that I'm not entirely sure how to answer :( "Being cute and being mine" -☀️ I think I went through the 5 stages of grief trying to come up with something that's all you're getting, oh yeah and my worst is probably the fact that I'm indecisive or like impulsive idk

Cougar - Hehehe fandoms 😇 Definitely undertale, fnaf, and sanders sides in the later years. I was (unfortunately) an aphmau kid back in 2015 but that was more watching her content and less fandom stuff. The undertale and fnaf ones definitely didn't ever stop, I got really into sans aus back during covid and relied on all three of those fandoms for comfort during the quarantine too. Sanders sides definitely helped me over the years before and during covid, it was definitely a rough time in my life as I was learning new things about myself and others around me, and it helped me so much with learning how to be me and accept myself as I am. As for a fandom I'm really active in now, id say the one I'm most active in is Hermitcraft (so surprising!!! 🙀) I got super into it back in season 6 when grian joined because I watched his content before he joined, and now I watch most of the hermits, I do tend to focus on a few each season while watching the occasional stream/video from the others though! I also listen to the imp & skizz podcast, and I find it rather comforting when I'm stressed, I love the hermits so much and they've definitely helped me so much without even knowing :) (and the fandom is so silly I love everyone)

Fishing Cat - I have so many I'm definitely going to forget some, I love learning new things and it's led to many hobbies that I do and will probably get back into in the future! :) I do crochet, it's something I have been learning since I was really young but couldn't get the hang of it for the longest time because my mom had a hard time teaching me it since she's left handed, I love reading, I read all kinds of things from old novels & poetry, romance and mystery, to nonfiction and sci-fi, I enjoy reading anything as long as it can keep my interest, and I loveee getting reccomended books (even though my to-be-read list is SO long), I like small crafts like jewelry making but it hurts my hands (especially the more intricate ones like fancy necklaces, bracelets, earrings), i love gaming, its a big part of who I am seeing as I grew up doing it, and even though i dont it as much anymore I still enjoy it and love playing games with my friends!! I enjoy drawing, but it's stressful because I'm not great at it and am way too perfectionistic over it. I used to paint but I never got too good at it and never had proper supplies, it was very fun though and I'd definitely get back into it sometime down the line. I listen to a lot of music, and watch youtubers/streamers. I like to go on walks, but with some of my health issues I don't go on them as often (I definitely will do more this summer though!!) and hanging out with my friends and animals. I plan on getting into sewing and possibly cosplay sometime so that will be fun to learn! I love creative hobbies, despite how stressful they can be when they don't go how I wanted it to :) I love seeing things I'm able to make evolve and get better and I get better at doing it, and I love consuming information and seeing people be people!!

I'm so sorry this is a lot of yapping even for me 😭

[cursivebloodlines]

yo it's me again with another health report :))

so a clinician at work happened to catch me mid coughing fit today and came back a few mins after and was like "that sounds like whooping cough, you really should get that checked out." (i was dubious and adamant that in fact, it was not and tbh i really thought it was just viral) so contacted my gp, said i dont think it is BUT can you please get me sorted in case

got a call back within like 15 mins asking if i could come in at half 11. had to leave work to do it. long story short, i don't have whooping cough (thankfully. no one is surprised) but i do have a chest infection, so that's fun! :D it's really badly triggering my vertigo at the mo and i don't feel well at all. thankfully i've got some antibiotics and she's given me something for my vertigo so hopefully i'll be back to clowning and replying to messages in a few days maybe!

just to put it out there that i'm not ignoring anyone! i'm just really struggling atm. i had covid a few weeks ago and now my immune system is down i fear ;-; but yeah! breathing is very hard and apparently i had a fever and sats were a bit low so lol. i do not feel well at all so if you see me liking posts and reblogging an occasional musing thing, i promise i'm not neglecting messages or drafts. well, i am but it's for the sake of me getting better!!!

to quote the script's breakeven: i'm still alive but i'm barely breathing. :) much loveee xxx

[djuvlipen]

Did you hear about the Pilar barbie situation on TikTok where it was a white women lying about being Romani and created a whole make-up business off the lie 😭

GIRL omg 💀💀 gossiping about Pilar is one of my favourite activities...

She has a lot of lore so I'm going to walk you through all I can remember

For the people who don't know her, Pilar was an American tiktoker who made videos about Romani issues (this is the only remaining picture of her I found on tiktok)

From what I remember, she was already there in 2020 during COVID times when I became active on Romani internet. I don't even remember when she got really popular, it must have happened gradually or something but she was one of the biggest Romani 'internet activists' alongside Florian and Brooke (in the early days).

Sometimes she also dressed more 'traditional'

which... really just looks like she was putting on a costume. anyway I don't have more recent pictures from her tiktoks as she suspended her account but the way she wore a headscarf and golden jewellery to try and emulate being Romani was already pretty messed up and unnecessary, as a lot of Romani women dont wear either of these things in the first place

I don't remember what group she was originally claiming to be from, but that's the point, she kept changing it. Except that she did so over a very slow period of time and by making only vague references about her heritage so it was hard to catch on. Anyway, over the past 4 years I have heard her say she was:

Russian Romani

Polish Romani

Crimean Romani

Gitana/Spanish Romani

Sinti

Manush, to be even more specific

Mixed Eastern European Romani + Manush

And that is all I specifically remember but I wouldn't be surprised if she also had a kalderash or lovari arc at some point 💀 anyway, after a while I started noticing things weren't adding up and her heritage was very vague and that was weird. Not to be mean, but she is also American, and I always feel way, way more cautious when it comes to American Roma than European Roma, Romani racefakers are almost always American because no European in their right mind would think it's cool to pretend to be romani 😭😭

Anyway, what really made it for me was the stuff she used to say on tiktok. Some of it was just blatantly not true. I almost lost my mind during her Sinti arc because she said stuff like "Sara e Kali isn't a big religious figure for Sinti people", "Sara e Kali isn't a catholic romani figure", and then she also pretended to have ties to some famous Sinti people when i know for a fact that is not possible... But I can't say more about that because that would be too doxx-y... She also said some more bs about Sinti people and I corrected her in the comments and she tried to follow me and it was so cringe

Then I also knew she was toxic because she would harass Romani women on tiktok and I remember at least one instance when she insulted a European Romani woman by saying, "you claim to be Romani but you dress like a hoe, you're just a gadji because Romani women respect ourselves by covering up"....

Two other things that didn't sit right with me was her clntent. She would talk a lot about anti Roma racism in Europe, which was great, she would talk about news no one else talked about. But she had a very guilt-trippy and angry way to talk about it that made it look like she was overdoing it and mocking the way antiracist activists talk, just to get engagement. It didn't feel genuine. And also, she would put ads for her make up brand and Cosplays of her as Wanda Maximoff between tiktoks about pogroms and police brutality. It all looked like a scam and like she was doing some traumaporn just for people to buy her stuff

And she also bullied Brooke so hard that she never came back on Tiktok, even though she (Brooke) had been the OG Romani tiktoker, had even been featured in Romea (a Romani newspaper), and was genuinely half Romani. And why? Because she is white passing? That's stupid, Pilar was allegedly white passing herself

(the way so many Romani tiktokers turned their back against Brooke was super disgusting btw, I don't know her personally but from what I've heard she is a very nice person)

Anyway, by 2022 I knew for sure Pilar was lying. That year I got in touch with other Romani girls and women online and we discussed it and they also all knew that Pilat was lying. Her being a racefaker was pretty much an open secret, at least among (chronically) online Romani people. Except that none of us could call her out, because she was very popular and extremely toxic. I can't even tell you how toxic she was. She had a circle made up of other American Romani women and they bullied tons of Romani people online, and guess what these romani people had in common!

Most of them were women

Most of them had a complicated family history

A lot of them were white passing (really tho, being white passing seems to be a problem ONLY when you are a woman. white passing Romani men never receive any hate)

A lot of them were LGB

And these American Roma bullied them, made a lot of them suicidal (seriously, I've heard several accounts of Pilar's bullying victims becoming suicidal), because they allegedly weren't 'romani enough'.

So, obviously, neither me nor any of my friend could call her out because we weren't nowhere as popular and we were all LGB romnia.

But then came FLORIAN. Literally the only person who could put a stop to her shenanigans. Ngl, I think only Florian, a straight, American Romani man with a big platform could have stopped her. And I am so glad he did, because she really made being Romani on the internet very stressful. I was so scared she would come to Tumblr one day lmao. Anyway, I have a lot of bones to pick with Florian but that was his biggest W. Here is his tiktok btw:

[scarletspider-lily]

this is going to be a pretty long rant.

so my family is church of Christ (so like, babtist lite). I am a closeted agnostic. unfortunately, it's getting pretty obvious because my younger sister got babtized a few years ago, and I still haven't. I basically told my mom that since covid I've been disassociating, and can't "feel god".

she has freaked out and is using every chance to push religion on me. it's getting rough. what makes it worse is that our church hasn't had a permanent preacher since April. there's also this guy named C. C's family is very entrenched in our church. C has been both song leader and college group leader (our church is very close with a local college) for several years. C's sons run AV and events. C's dad was a preacher, and is now an elder. now, C wants to be preacher.

my mom is starting to think C is subconciously hungry for power in the church and is considering moving to a different church. however, she hates all the other surrounding churches of Christ. so she told me that we'd visit around and find whatever church helped me "feel god" best.

now I could totally reinvent myself at a new church, get babtized just to please her, and all would be well. except she wants me to do Bible studies on her Bible app and do family devotionals and watch her terrible preachy Zionist leaning YouTube channels. I'm exhausted. no matter what I do she'll keep badgering me because she believes it's her duty to make sure I get to heaven. I can't even ignore her, recently we went on a road trip and she got started on the topic again, and because I refused to talk to her about it, she pulled the car over and wouldn't move again until I talked. she begged me, said that the silent treatment was worse than anything I could throw at her, but I know how terrible my life will be if she finds out the truth. on top of that, I'm gay and hiding the fact that I'm dating one of my best friends.

she's even trying to find a church for me in a different city for when I move away for college. at least I only have 8 more months in this house.

my 18th birthday is in a few days, but I know that me being an adult won't change things. she's the parent, so she has the power. she'll never be happy until I'm under her control.

I know you probably don't have any advice, I just had to say it somewhere. I'm so tired.

hey, sorry for seeing this so late. to be honest, i dont have advice but i hope your situation improves, i can relate to some of it, like the finding a church when you move for college thing. once again i'm sorry for the late reply but i hope you know that youre in my thoughts, and i sincerely wish everything goes well and yeah, being 18 but still under your parents is rough, but not uncommon. it is good you're moving out though, i hope you can somehow find a way to lie that you're attending church or something, or just attend a few services- either way i hope it will be better than you staying at home now!

[somuchyoudontknow]

If I may add my two cents worth… I’ve seen the ongoing narrative that Chris is being taken advantage of by Scott, his friends and family etc, and that he is being held hostage by CAA or by Alba herself.

My honest, intuitive feel is that this is simply a PR arrangement gone wrong. The reason he continues to associate with her, in my opinion so I may be wrong, is simply because he signed a contract.

Now, I dont believe for one second that he signed it without reading. Chris is not a bumbling golden retriever; RDJ himself has commented that Chris is shrewd.

What I think happened is simply that he signed the contract agreeing to all these things for some good benefits that will come once the arrangement is over.

This ties in to your visions, Sophia, where you say he will get a good blockbuster project that may result in nominations and wins and other good things coming his way.

He may have only realised the optics of being seen as Alba’s boyfriend once he saw that a) she still looks very young and b) once the evidence of her racism and sexual innuendo leaked. Many are saying this was done or it happened after the contract was signed.

By this point in time, they were already knee-deep in the contract, and there was no backing out. He may have lawyers try and negotiate an end, but the contract may not have had clauses or loopholes — and Chris may not have thought he needed them since he has never done long-term PR relationships before. Lesson learnt for him.

Think of it as you signing an employment contract for your job. If you dont understand the terms when you sign, and you try to escape from it later — that is exactly what is happening here with Chris and CAA.

But the point is, whether he likes it or not, he has to ride this contract out and honour whatever he has agreed to.

The reason he looks sick and stressed is simply because of the sheer backlash against him and even his family. His fans hate Alba, and I dont think he or his team could estimate just how much. After all, the fandom has had his back for decades. There was no reason for them to think we would all flip a 180 and walk away from him. There was no reason to ever think that his family and friends would also get the backlash and hate comments and possibly death threats.

And now he is simply seeing the side effects of playing games with people who have supported him through A LOT of crap. In other words, Chrissy just had a “Fuck Around and Find Out” moment.

In many ways, this is the major tower moment that so many readers have predicted for him. Many of them did warn that to get into a relationship with a “20-something clout chaser” — this was talkingtarot’s description of her — would be disastrous for him and would bring a lot of heartache. This is now being proven.

The question is how long he wants to take to learn his lessons in this major tower moment. There is no way out, so he has to suck it up, learn from it and take the opportunity to rebrand himself the way he desires (but never says out loud).

I believe he wants to be taken seriously as an actor — this is backed by the fact he pursued roles like Knives Out and Defending Jacob. He has the chops and the potential, now he needs to reshape himself and his reputation to get the things he wants.

❤️ StarStruck 💫

Hiiii Hope you are doing well 🤗

Oh, I have missed my anon fellow intuitives so much 💙❤ Thank you for coming back and sharing your reading with us.

In, regards to the big role, I feel since he is helping Wild Bunch promote their European movies, he would get a very good payout in the end.

And I strongly agree that Chris is very smart and intelligent. He is not a fool as some people are persistent to make him look like. He knows what he is doing and he must have signed the contract after taking into consideration the condition of the industry and the work prospects available to him after his Cap Era and Covid. The only downside of this pr has been his team underestimated his fandom's reaction due to the age gap and now , no matter how much he dislikes the situation or wants to end it, it might not be possible.

He also wants to be taken seriously as an actor. he doesn't seem to be interested in going back to Disney or doing any superhero roles in the future which is quite understandable. Going back to Disney would not be beneficial. They would lock him down for years and he will not have the creative freedom that he is looking for. He is already in his 40s and almost all his career he has spent a big chunk of his career doing superhero roles. He seems to be desiring to expand his career and not stay limited. If we look at his approach it would be pretty understandable why he chose to do a PR.

[firebird-nonnette]

Personal thoughts (ignore meee)

(Incredibly long post to put my thoughts because i dont wanna write in my physical journal right now but ill lose this if i dont put it on my tumblr, which i treat as a sort of visual journal)

Been thinking about death and how to soothe my death anxiety.

I got very sick with covid and I'm still fighting it a month later. Now I have a few early signs of pneumonia, which is one of the real dangers of covid.

After 4 weeks of being very ill with something like covid and with pneumonia looming, the worst case scenario keeps revolving in my mind. It's been tickling my death anxiety and i want to try and sort it out a bit.

Im doing what I can to rest, but who knows how this'll pan out. My boyfriend caught it at the same time and got over it in 10 days or so and he's head empty no thoughts about the fact that we finally (after 4 years of never catching it) caught the thing that stopped the world and killed millions.

So, I've been thinking about death. A little anxiously. A little calmly. Mostly with a nervous puzzle-solving confusion. I want to stop being afraid of illness and death. I have hypochondria and death anxiety. Had them since about a year after my mom died of a sudden illness. They got worse in 2020, like they did with most others afflicted. I've been able to have some months here and there where my anxieties were less. They're usually characterized by less screen time, more journaling, more time spent looking out windows, more time spent reading Stoic philosophy and Compassionate Mind Therapy works, and a little investigation into Near Death Experience studies that overwhelmingly report pleasant and positive experiences of the afterlife. I also spend some time with my spirituality, but I'm a very specific type of spiritual agnostic and since my mother died there's no one in my life who believes exactly what I believe (though my bf believes about 90% of the same stuff). The good times are when I'm in more or less good health and set aside time for gratitude and slowness and lots of gentle thinking and puzzling about life and death. The best times are when I'm very grateful, very mindful, and invest in enjoying the beauty of incredibly mundane things I'm usually too anxious or desenstized to notice: the feeling of my decade-old comforter when I lay on it, how sunlight hits the curtains in the computer room, how the green tea I've been drinking for 13 years tastes, how the trees and bushes cast little shadows, how the wind smells, etc etc. These are things that are almost always accessible in everyday life, but I rarely take time with them. But, when I do, -when i honestly and completely let myself enjoy them with love and gratitude for life and the world around me- I feel the most connected to "life". It's pure joy.

I have a very hard time accessing these feelings when I'm sick or in pain. Instead, I ruminate on my anxieties or distract myself with screentime.

But, back to death:

I hate the idea of dying confused and scared. The same way I hate feeling anxious and scared when I'm sick. I want to be calm and accepting. I want to feel joy and gratitude. I'm not sure how to articulate why this is important to me, but I absolutely hate the idea of getting sick, feeling awful, feeling scared and anxious, and then dying in fear and anxiety. It is very, very, very important to me to meet (or survived brushes with) death with a calm, clear, and grateful mind.

So I've been using this sickness as an opportunity to try and work on that because, honestly, my first reaction is more anxiety than calmness.

I was considering how I might try to accept my death if it were anytime soon - either from this covid pneumonia or from something else. (Because any of us could die from almost anything any day.) This is also because my aunt, who I only got to meet once, is also in hospice right now and I can't travel to see her one last time. She's all that's left of my mom. When I met her a few years ago, I saw so much of my mom in her. Mannerisms and tones and jokes I hadn't seen or heard in 8 years were still alive in her. The sound of her voice over the phone sounds so incredibly like my mother's (of whom I only have 1 or 2 home video recordings from the 90s because she was notoriously scornful of being recorded or photographed) that I cried after our conversation ended. My aunt is 81, if she passes, she will have lived 20 more years than my mom. She came down with this illness right around my mom's 10th death anniversary. She has had a long life behind her. My mom died at 61. A bit young, but she still had a very eventful life full of stories, trials, and blessings.

When it comes to death, I'm not frightened of what's on the other side. I believe death is just as natural and neutral as birth. I believe in all the reports and studies and stories about a benevolent and beautiful "other side", just as my mom had described it when she had her own near death experience 5 years before she passed. She gave me an amazing childhood and adolescence full of wonder and wisdom and death positivity. She loved discussing mortality and spirituality and the science around death. She had equipped me, very well, to know how to mourn her. Of course, without her, I lost touch with that straightforward death positivity and became more and more anxious. But I'm trying to get back to that calm, steady acceptance I once had.

While I'm scared of dying painfully, I'm not too worried. Morphine and other interventions can help and pain is temporary and, I'm sure, forgotten when you cross.

I mostly have a certain stage fright of death. Despite my beliefs about the other side, I'd still be scared, like a novice actor backstage, of being pushed beyond the curtain to see what's on the other side and succumb to whatever it is that happens on the other side. I do take comfort knowing that every human who has ever lived, including my mother, has died and if they can do it, so can I.

One other common fear of death is the worry of leaving others behind. I'm not worried. Ethan would figure life out, eventually. He'd carry on. I've told him, in our occasional talks about death, that he should move on as soon as is right for him. I'm not worried about my friends, they'll be fine, too. I don't have kids, which is the major fear people have about dying "early", so that's fine. My sister would probably grieve a little while (she estranged herself from us, but has been trying to get back in touch a little), but she'd move on, too. Dad would be the person I'd worry about the most, but he has Debbie to take care of him and he'd also move on, eventually, though he would have the worst time of it. He's very death anxious. But, all in all, everyone would be fine. So, I'm not scared of leaving anyone behind.

If I were to die soon, I realized that I'd regret not having the chance to do more.

I'm notorious for being hyperproductive and burning myself out. But I actually feel I'd regret working so hard lol. My company doesn't need ALL of me. I wanna take more time for myself.

I don't mean I'd regret not being more productive. I'd regret not creating more. Not making more of an impact. Helping people, connecting with people.

I've already done some of that, but I want to do more before I go. I'd like to have some kind of accomplishment that's just for me for the impact I've had on others and the world. Volunteering or helping organizations or content creators I admire like Stoicism or Compassionate Mind Theory science communicators or maybe writing the books i wanna write so I can at least give people a fun little time with some stories.

Maybe it would be raising a child someday (probably adopting), though I'm on the fence about this.

But, what really gets me, is I don't know WHAT is missing. I just have a general sense of wanting to do more and consume less. I want to spend a little less time on my phone or rewatching movies and spend that time on something meaningful.

Usually, when people are close to death they regret not making more friends but I feel pretty okay. I'd meet people doing whatever the meaningful thing is I wanna do.

What bothers me is there's no way I'd be able to do a super meaningful or impactful thing between now and when this pneumonia would escalate. Soooooo I also wanna find peace that if I were to die before I could do something more, I want to accept that I did what I was able to up to this point and just be okay with that.

Because, honestly, we are all deeply impactful presences in the world even if we don't do a lot.

My writing for media psychology has had an impact on many people. I've gotten lots of comments from people saying my writing has helped them or inspired them, changed their lives. I think that's probably good enough. Maybe instead of saying I'd "regret" not doing more, the better way to think of it is "if I could live a little longer, I'd love to do more".

Anyways, I'm tired now and rest is important. I had to get these thoughts out linearly. Time for bed. Will try to spend time grateful and joyful tomorrow. This pneumonia will statistically probably get better on its own, but its been a good obstacle and lesson to learn about myself. But, just on the off-chance Im headed for serious illness or even death, I'm gonna try and enjoy everything I can for now.

[dojunie]

i've been checking ur acc everyday since u said that misdial was getting released this week and like I WAS EXPECTING SOME ACTION BC U SAID THERE IS SOME BUT I DEFINITELY WASN'T EXPECTING 1. jeno liking her back all this time 2. him knowing that she liked him and 3. THEM REVEALING THEIR FEELINGS TO EACH OTHER LIKE WHAT JDJSKDKWKJDD i swear ur so good at pacing things out in a way that is not rushed but keeps each chap interesting as a writer myself i'm learning quite a bit. God I can't wait until the next chapter i have no clue what could happen in that one or in the future ones like is there can be a situation where jeno gets jealous bc of sungchan or jaemin which makes him go screw mark and act on his feelings??? (would love to see jealous jen honestly but also idk) WAIT I JUST REALIZED HOW BROKEN JENO MUST HAVE FELT AFTER FINDING OUT ABOUT HER AND JAEM W/ HIS FEELINGS AND HOW IS HE GOING TO FEEL NOW THAT HE KNOWS THAT SHE HAS LIKED HIM FOR SO LONG BUT HOOKED UP W/ JAEM AS A REBOUND OR HAS HE EVEN PIECED THAT TOGETHER YET?? how are the siblings gonna fix their relationship after all this too 💀 and now that they have closure of some sorts how do they end up together like??? does he know she STILL loves him and does he still like her too? and just to clarify jeno didn't act on his feelings bc he knew how protective mark is and was scared of him getting angry if he were to do anything and especially if he hurt her?? am i getting that right? my brain is exploding w/ so many questions pls update us on ur writing progress as much as u can so we can look forward to it hehe (I MEAN THIS IN A take ur time in writing it we'll always wait but when u do happen to work on it pls tell us to keep us on our toes WAY if u get what i mean. take all the time u need ❤️)

-covid anon 🤒

covid anon,,,,,,,,, my dear,,,,, my loaf of toasted bread,,,,,,, when i got this ask i was at work and if you could only see the stupid smile i had on my face the entire rest of the day when i thought about how i was going to respond to this,,,,,,

edit: my answer got crazy fucking long so i am putting this under a readmore goddamn

thank you for the writing compliment my beloved covid anon :'-) i always feel like i'm so shit with pacing so to hear that another writer thinks my pacing is good is just so 🤕 aaaaaaa

AND JEALOUS JENO BC OF SUNGCHAN AND JAEM??? WHAT A THOUGHT. because of the way i always end up characterizing jeno i dont see him as a jealous person, at least not the type to act on his jealousy if he Does feel it, like he's just going to stew on it and stew on it and stew on it instead of actually tell anybody that he's upset.... but that is a concept.... esp if he's jealous of jaem since they're such close friends, it would have good feeling-exposure capabilities.... hmmm.... winky face

to answer how jeno felt when he found out about 'mosquito boy', aka jaemin being mc's rebound in ch2, he was very... confused. by a lot of things. the first being that he didn't even know mc liked jaemin like that at one point (because in his head he doesn't quiiite realize that it was just a hookup, that there were no serious feelings involved- plus, he's always taken note of how much jaemin dotes on mc, so he's always had a suspicion that maybe, just maybe, jaemin might've had some kind of feelings for you too; and this rebound thing only confirms that for him) and he's kind of beating himself up about the fact that he never 'noticed' something going on between mc and jaem at the lake house. the second thing he's confused by is why he is so pissed at jaemin. he assumes he's mad at him for fucking around with mc in the first place when that's marks little sister (like cmon, brocode, wtf) (or maybe jeno is projecting? hmm) (or maybe he's just envious that jaemin had the balls to do something about how he felt regardless of how mark might react, hmmmmm) and he's also definitely mad at jaem for just... not telling him.

and about the siblings LMAO i only realized when i was rereading ch3 for the last time before posting that big brother mark is this huge, looming figure in the fic, mentioned every five seconds, and that basically all the conflict is because of him either directly or indirectly.... but he has literally not showed up in this fic at all 💀 he has not had one line of dialogue in misdial yet (that text in ch1 doesn't count 😭) but i promise you mark's time is coming

and yes, to clarify, you're pretty much exactly right about why jeno never said anything to anyone about how he felt,,,, like mark is his Best Friend, yknow? there are so many different reasons jeno felt it would be better to just keep his mouth shut about 1. knowing mc liked him, and 2. liking her back. the main one is that mark has made it clear how much he admires and cares about his little sister, and while he's never outright condemned any of mcs relationships or crushes or interests, it is so incredibly, painfully obvious that he does not think any human being on earth is good enough for her. (not to mention the fear of fucking up with mc somehow and the wrath mark would put rain upon him if so... with the added depressing edge that jeno knows mark would Hate having to play mediator between him, his best & closest friend, and mc, his literal baby sister)

and i think thats it omg i apologize for responding with such big walls of text, i just loved your message so much LOL all the questions and emotions you had were great and i enjoyed reading and thinking about my answer very much,,,, if you have any more questions i would 1000000% love to answer them 💪

i will try to keep you all updated better this time around, before ch4!! though. i have some interesting news. i will break it here, for you, and for all the other lovelies who have read this far: i have started an outline (and actually started writing)...... an interlude chapter about what happened between jaemin and mc at the lake house >:-D it's going to be written in a standalone oneshot style, so folks who haven't read misdial can still read it, and it's going to be quite... descriptive. about what exactly went down during this alleged rebound. so. if you're into that, jaemin stans rejoice.

anyway i hope this message wasn't a pain in the ass to read and answered most of your questions sufficiently 💪 farewell, covid anon!!!! i love u <3

[omi-papus]

My mom is like ALMOST a Karen. The type thats not crazy enough to be seen online and even when shes being unreasonable shes always been polite, and the only thing shell do is be like “Are you sure theres no discount? And argue when theres nothing to argue about. Like seven thousand times until somebody stops her or she gives up. (Which she CAN do oddly enough, but never when it would make sense.) Woman deadass asked if she could get a discount on a fucking covid test.

And heres the thing. I know for a fact, that where shes from, what she does can work. Small city in a much more lenient latinamerican country than the one were in right now. And you can in fact haggle a lot more over there. But I dont think I can get you guys to understand that I cant quite call her a Karen,

BECAUSE IT ALMOST ALWAYS WORKS!

My mother has bypassed federal laws by just asking for it enough. Like gotten unregistered animals through the airport in plain sight for example.

And Im reflecting on this now because I was at the embassy the other day, and its my first time going in like five years, so my first time going in as an adult. And she made this apointment without telling me, (yhea she sometimes sucks like that) and I told her damn well I wasnt going to get my ass all the way over there when I had class only a few hours later. And I can only use public transport and because of that cant make it to class because the wait for buses can be up to two hours in the worst of days. And she was like “No, Ill drive you there, I need to get my own documents sorted too.” And Im like, “Mother if you think Im going to sit there throught the wait of two apointments Im not going because I could only get to school in time if you drive me there too” and this lady. Says to me,

“No I only booked your apointment, Im going to tell them to sort out my documents as they do yours”

And like thats not how that works. Thats not how any of this works. At all. Shes crazy. A complete and utter Karen.

And the day comes. We get up extra early and go to the embassy. When were there my trun comes and and Im about to talk to the guard and tell him whats up and what I need to do. Then my mom comes up next to me and is like “Oh by the way, I would like to go in with her and get my own papers taken care of” he asks how old I am and I tell him and he tell her “Sorry, we cant let you in shes an adult and shes the one with the apointment” and she does the “are you sure” this twice and then calmly takes a step back. I go in I have my papers, my trun comes again and I go up to the desk and start doing all the stuff (I had only dealt with paperwork a few times and this is the first time I handled something with my passport” and its like

“Ok so Im here fo-“

“Shes here to get her passport, *grabs papers* she has this this and this. Anyway while Im here I would like to get this sorted”

My fucking mother, is just standing next to me taking over the apointment and I am just standing there wondering how she got inside the god damn building. Shes cut the line, and is openly saying “I dont have an apointment, but do this”.

And at the end of all of this.

THEY FUCKING DID IT FOR HER.

I didnt say a word the entire rest of the apointment save for one or two questions, she just up and held the whole conversation, while Im just standing there trying to find the gun she must holding because thats the only explanation I can think of.

And like we just left????? The guard seemed alive and fine and I have not been the same ever since. Any annoyance I had for both being made to do this and then having her take that minor autonomy from me with my own legal proceedings is compleatly overshadowed by the fact that she just broke at least ninteen diferent policies and got away with it. And shes not a good negotiator, in the slightest. She just makes unreasonable demands and people just do it??? They dont even look mad just confused?????

So I cant tell if shes just perfected karenism or shes an actual witch.

[mellowgoop]

Had a very vivid dream that I was in army training, practice or whatever, flying helicopters over corn fields and stuff as as time went on and the days went by I was like wait a second.. why am I in the army... this seems bad how does this help my career I dont think being deployed is something I can just. Do on the side. It ended with a nice confrontation with my mom where she was like YOURE SO AIMLESS and i was like DUDE i dont remember why I joined the army but I can bet anything on the fact it was when I was very depressed and just trying to do something hardcore Exactly because of your impression of me

anyhow. that was the first dream when I clapped when it was over thats definitely the fastest way to get out of a military contract. I'm pretty happy to be back in my real life now, though I do think I'm processing something here as nearly four years of rigorous everyday balls to the wall japanese classes nearly come to an end, most of which I had to drag my ass through during covid lockdown and while the people I really liked in my classes just kind of disappeared forever one by one. Now Im waiting to be deployed someplace random in *looks at notes on hand* nagano prefecture to do completely random stuff for the government.

[arp1033]

It is 6 months to the day that Id's Discord Server was deleted so here are some more stories about him.

When COVID started he and his Boys kidnapped his best friend's sister from a Southern state (cannot recall which one, doesn't really matter) and brought her to Canada where she got a job almost instantly as a nurse despite that fact that A: she wouldn't have had any residency papers, B: Pretty sure you need like, a degree or credential or something to be a nurse and I don't think that shit transfers through country borders very well and C: holy shit why would you brag about that, that is like at minimum 3 felonies in both countries. He said he also "convinced" someone to process her paperwork faster which is how she got a job faster so you can add even more felonies on top of that!

Best friend went to Japan during Covid and worked with the Yakuza to distribute face masks.

"Wait didn't the Yakuza vow to kill him if he ever went back to Japan? Why would his best friend be allowed to help distribute masks?" Yeah so turns out she knew Yakuza members from when she worked on localizing some video games... somehow... and they had her under their protection. Which, again, fully knowing that he was marked for death.

Oh yeah, best friend localized Drakengard 3! That's why all the humor is just his humor 100% and has nothing to do with it. Not being that or him swearing up and down that he didn't know anyone who worked on it until years later when suddenly he did.

He timed his updates of Drakengard so that the day his son was born the update about the giant man eating babies went live just to freak out his wife, I guess? Because I know when *I* am going through a major medical event the first thing i do is check my partner's LP.

Speaking of his son! His son kept drawing really cute crayon pictures of LPs that he overheard Id watching on his computer and Id would scan them and post them to everyone's delight. And then after everything went down people realized "hey wait. All of these pictures have the exact same stain on them, as if this is the same digital canvas..." so yeah Id most likely faked children's crayon drawings.

He got so psyched after watching Promare that when he high-fived someone it caused them both injuries that lasted days.

To finish this off, a reminder that he claimed ot hate landlords (he was a landlord to his best friend whose place was either right next door or a good 10-15 drive away depending on what the story needed) and he hated the militray (he was a PMC that killed a lot of people, but dont worry they never worked with Isreal or the US).

Id was a wierd dude, y'all.

Folks talking about the weirdness of late 1990s/early 2000s forum culture usually focus on the macro-level stuff – the inter-forum beefs, the raids, etc. – but on a personal level they were often even more unhinged. Like, many popular forums had recurring issues with people putting on the persona of a Sickly Artist (often claiming to have a heart condition, though just as often the nature of their ailment would be left unspecified), building a following based on the idea that they were this gentle, tortured artistic genius who could kick the bucket any time, and eventually "dying", only to return a few weeks later in a different Sickly Artist persona and start the whole thing over again. Many of the worst offenders went through this cycle multiple times. Sometimes they weren't even real artists, and were simply misrepresenting someone else's art as their own, which was much easier to get away with because Google Image Search wasn't yet a thing.

[schizowitchic]

thing my mum is currently mad about: that i am not helping with the housework (ive literally been home all day with a migraine and period cramps so bad i can barely stand, as well as being exhausted bordering on sleep deprived from exams for the past week).

massive vent under the cut that goes super off topic.

tw for fatphobia and mild ableism and mentions of suicidality and poor mental health

like be more mad at my siblings who are not ill and perfectly capable of helping? before he left (hes away for the weekend) my dad was like "make sure to help ur mum this evening since im away so i cant" like hello? im literally ill at the moment. i get that my mum is super stressed and tired as well but like. right now. im literally physically ill. ive had almost ten full blown panic attacks in the past week.

ALSO ive tidied and hoovered my room, i collected wood from the shed in the garden from the fire, and changed all the hand towels over to clean ones so it's not like ive done nothing at all. ive emptied and refilled the dishwasher as well. plus whenever she's said "can you get this for me" ive gotten up to get it for her.

furthermore she hasn't asked us to do specific tasks so like. i have no idea what needs doing. im always available to do stuff if im directly asked (bc it's not like i can refuse without getting complained at all evening) so idk how im meant to telepathically know what house work she wants us to be doing. and even when we do help she always complains that we dont do it in the right way but never tells us what to do just complain about how incompetent we are

like im gonna be honest i just end up feeling less motivated to keep even my own room tidy. and that im constantly never enough for her. bc even when im sure ive done all the things i should. theres always something else i shouldve known how to do, or that bc ive never done it before that somehow erases that ive made process

for example she's always on at me about shaving and washing my face and etc. and like. im mentally ill. it is such a struggle to get up and get clean each day. and i was super proud of the fact that i now manage to clean my face at least once a day every day now. but that's not enough for her is it "you should be washing your face twice a day". and i was like "but surely one is better than the none it was before" and she just gave me a look like i was being ridiculous. and she's always on at me about shaving hair from my legs, getting rid of hair on my face and my back. i never was selfconscious about my appearance until she said i would be bullied for having hair, until she used the words "rolls of fat" to describe my stomach, until she said the slight bulges on the back of a dress were unflattering and would make people bully me, until she said that i needed to lose weight and exercise more. (for context on how ridiculously fatphobic this is. im skinny. i have high metabolism. but that's not enough for her)

the worst part is that she has no idea how harmful this stuff is. she thinks this is how to show she cares. that she's doing it for us. to the point where i feel bad putting this rant out onto the internet where like 5 people will see it. but then. just bc i know she loves me doesnr mean i feel like im loved.

like. im not even allowed to be tired or stressed without her saying how her job is so much worse so she has it so much worse (not like she witnessed my mental breakdown aged 15 not like she's accompanied me to mental health appointments for anxiety). we both had covid at the same time and whenever i was like "damn i feel like shit" well guess who felt like even more shit? and she always says how we get more days off if we're sick and it's like. you control how many sick days you have. plus she'll complain about how she never gets to rest and stuff but like i see her resting???? and also. im expected to still help out if we've gone on a long hike all day (i have severe joint pain) but im meant to be able to continue past that and not let it stop me

also neither her or my dad will say the word autism. it's always "neurodivergent" "neurodiverse" (why i not always a fan of "neurodivergent traits are x") they won't tell my siblings i cant discuss my pending diagnosis with them in front of my siblings like it's some bad thing that needs to be hidden. bro its just autism.

idk my main issue is that she complains about how i sit around on my phone/reading and it's like. well. do you even know how much i have to distract myself to stay alive. but she's really fucking annoying when she's concerned for my wellbeing (like toxic positivity. meditate do yoga solve all your problems type shit). lmao whatever whatever im going to uni this year