#and there is a chance ill lose all my screenshots and recordings
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nowandthane · 1 year ago
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him <3
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blamemma · 1 year ago
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diff anon but exactly the same as me!! like daniel is my guy has been for years and years but the margin between him and max is so close and like i’m loving max breaking every record in f1 existence rn! and if the day comes when they are teammates again i do expect max to be the faster driver at this point in their careers. and as long as it’s not a hungary17/baku18 sort of situation i won’t be harbouring and ill will towards his (hopefully continuous!) success. of course if i could have it my way daniel would be winning it all but like realistically i am just super okay with max winning in the fashion he currently is winning, and i do see it as the most realistic, expected outcome. to me daniel going back to rb would be a second chance at an honourable goodbye to the sport, racking up hopefully regular podiums and a few wins here and there on days or tracks max maybe does not perform at his best, or daniel is simply faster for whatever reason. i’m not expecting daniel to win a wdc against max in equal machinery at this stage, and that’s okay by me, cause frankly there is no shame in losing to max in equal machinery i mean he’s rewriting history right now.
my one fear always is that the harmonious balance between max and daniel fans will be broken but :[ not much we could do at this stage i suppose
i sent a screenshot of the og ask to @reigningmax and she was also saying that if daniel were to join red bull again, he'd be fully aware of the team he's heading into (read: max's team) so even his expectations may be slightly different. i think u hit the nail on the head with the honorable goodbye, i will be happy to see him go to a team where i know he can excel and eventually get the send off he deserves with a highlight reel of overtakes and wins!! i think u worded this all perfectly and its exactly how i feel about the prospect of daniel returning to red bull.......friendship with rand will be over tho as soon as daniel is back in navy blue, friendship terminated war begun (jk xx she cant get rid of me that easy)
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Chat Blanc
I’m finally ready to post my Chat Blanc analysis now that I’ve my thoughts sorted out. Beware, there are going to be spoilers below and probably a lot of speculation on the Agreste family (and when I say “Agreste Family” that includes Nathalie and possibly Gorilla). I’m going to be using screenshots from youtube w/ english subs. 
First off we have this
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This further cements the idea that I’ve said before- that Gabriel doesn’t just want to bring Emilie back, but fix something that happened. Granted the mistake they made is likely the exact thing that sent Emilie comatose, but the fact still stands that he’s not just looking to wake her up. He’s looking to change the past so that she never fell ill to begin with.
Now we have that cute scene with the girls hyping up Marinette, Nathalie denying Marinette’s present, and Ladybug busting in. Which....idk that just seems really stupid. I get it, she’s 14 but she’s also proven she has critical thinking skills. She could have waited till the next day, or outside the Agreste gates until the car came up (Adrien would have rolled down his window for her), there were other solutions but I guess Marinette hasn’t always gotten an A+ for patience. But this girl, she takes it to far and all I can do is shake my head 
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The only reason you get a pass for this is cause you’re still learning what’s appropriate and not.
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And I don’t think I have to explain why this is sad. He just wants his dad to be even a little proud, but he never gets to see his reaction or receive the praise he needs because his dad is “busy”. Can’t even spare a solid thirty seconds for Adrien to pop his head in and say “Father I won!” “That’s great son!”
Then cut to Marinette stuffing her face in Adrien’s pillow and I just I can’t. Sigh. 
And props to Adrien for being smarter than we gave him credit for. And then we get to this scene...
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Where we first see Chat Blanc and you can tell....he’s clearly unstable. You can just tell, from the moment he’s on screen singing to himself that there is something off and Adrien Agreste has left the building. I think that speaks numbers about the psychological trauma he’s been through regarding what went down in this episode. They displayed it perfectly in the most gut-wrenching way. You’re already fearful for Chat/Adrien just due to how he’s acting because you can tell by that alone, akuma or no, that something went terribly awry.
And now he wants her miraculous
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Not because of his dad’s influence, though the initial goal of the akuma is probably terribly overwhelming. How long has he actually been there in this wasteland by himself? It’s practically clad in white and almost looks frozen. You can tell Chat Blanc brought on all of this from the beginning (obviously) but my point is that it even has a signature mark on it by the color scheme being off. It genuinely feels like an altered version of reality, or a separate universe (which it can’t be can it? Since Chat Blanc was going to destroy the whole universe, making Bunnyx panic. Does that mean there really is only one universe? Because I feel like in a world with multiple timelines that could occur that there would be more of a multiverse. Anyway...
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This poor child...
He’s being torn between two different worlds in every way. And he doesn’t deserve it. We get to see glimpses of Adrien in between Chat Blanc. THIS is Adrien asking her to save him. But then Chat Blanc is back in the next scene.
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I genuinely thought that perhaps Hawkmoth had sent his akuma into Chat/Adrien’s heart.  But it was more symbolically than literally. Imagine how messed up that could be, if he could akumatize someone by the heart. How would they get the akuma out then? It would be a matter of actually being able to convince the person to let the akuma go. But Chat/Adrien has had so much happen that his emotions were already so high and intense, imagine how intense it must be now? It’s literally pushed him to the brink of insanity! Thinking about it though,.insanity at this point is likely the only survival tactic he has. How else could be handle being alone, completely and utterly alone? And for how long? How long would he had to have had to mull this over from where he started out as Chat Blanc, being able to fight against the akuma even a bit so that he didn’t directly harm Ladybug/Marinette. How long would he have needed to come up with “This is Chat Blanc. Chat Blanc did this, not me, Adrien, Chat Noir- it was Chat Blanc using my hands to destroy Paris” and develop this outlook so that he didn’t just completely give up. How long has he been fighting? The torture that came with that akuma likely isn’t going to go away once he forgets it. It’s just...this poor kid. He’s trying his best. 
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And here I think I appreciated Marinette’s hair being down just as much as the next person but I’m kinda curious as to why? It was in pigtails just moments before so why is it suddenly down- what prompted her to take it down and just keep it down? I feel like it represents the change in the timelines. Especially since we don’t see her with pigtails again in that universe.
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“I finally understand that you’re not just a friend. I always felt that there was something more...” so in other words- he loves both sides of Ladybug completely. He would love Marinette without Ladybug. He has always had this underlying affection for Marinette that is completely unlike the feelings he has for his other friends but he’s suppressing it in order to not feel unfaithful or something in regards to his feelings for Ladybug. He wants to be genuine, and now that he knows that his feelings aren’t going to cause him any kind of discourse (when it comes to Marinette VS Ladybug) he can openly express and acknowledge his feelings for Marinette and Ladybug alike.
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Please appriciate that Marinette has to stand on her tiptoes because her boyfriend is a tol smol. 
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And THAT is why Chat Blanc wants her miraculous. He isn’t thinking straight- he’s not able to think “if I give up the akuma Ladybug can use her Lucky Charm to fix everything” because he’s still swallowed up with the akuma, the command from his father to get her miraculous. And at this point he’s to tired to resist fighting her. 
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Yikes, someone’s getting jealous. Also, appriciate the fact that Marinette, in that scene, literally leaps into his arms. How long have they been dating at this point? This is likely only a few days after, once enough time has gone by for word to spread. 
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Luka says “Adrinette rights”. 
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I feel like some more time has been passing between these scenes. Not a ton, but a significant amount. After all, Adrien would hardly have enough to go on an icecream date and dance with his girlfriend at a friend’s place in the same week, wouldn’t he?
“It was so amazing, until Hawkmoth found out everything”- really. They seem euphoric. And Adrien finally has something that is making him genuinely happy and helping him get through everything he’s already had to go through. Then we get hit with this...
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Side note- Nathalie is tol, Sabine is smol. Back on track- what the actual- are you actually serious? Gabriel is....he’s actually doing that? Perhaps it wouldn’t be QUITE so bad if it was him simply being an over protective dad, if Marinette weren’t a well-behaved aspiring fashion designer that could benefit both him and her in the future, you know, something bad was actually going on but no...Gabriel is just making her end the relationship....for an akuma. He is bullying and forcing a 14 year old girl totally head-over-heels and love-struck with his son m, someone who is actually giving Adrien a happy place....does he not already know what it’s like to be forcibly separated from the person you hold dear? He lost his wife so now Adrien has to lose his girlfriend because “it’ll save your mother” or some ish- no! There are other ways to get powerful akumas!!! You don’t have to be so selfish as to put your own son through something similar to your own heartbreak (I mean Marinette is up and healthy and everything but it’s still forcibly removing them from each other’s grasp and selfishly taking away his son’s love interest to revive his own). You want to manufacture an akuma? Fine. Get Lila. Or target literally anyone else besides your son’s girlfriend and her family. Your son has found a way to be happy and move on without his mother being by his side every day. Either you learn how to do that too or you don’t uproot the happiness he has found to “replace” it . Because you CAN’T replace what he’s found You can add to it, if his mother really can come back without harming him or someone else he loves. But not at the expense of what he’s made for himself. That is cruel, and I genuinely thought better of you. I’m deeply disappointed. Again, if this was because Adrien’s judgement was actually questionable and Marinette had a bad record, I could understand it more. But it isn’t because hes looking out for him, it’s purely for an akuma, no regard for Adrien. And I dunno exactly how willing Nathalie was in this situation but that’s a whole other post I made a day or so ago. We can’t judge her based on the few clips we’ve seen of the future, but we can judge Gabriel because there is no good excuse for it. 
She sounds so heartbroken when he tells her to break up with him too. Because she really hasn’t done anything wrong. If this is the case, then she never actually had a real chance with Adrien because his father wouldn’t have allowed it regardless of how much they liked each other. And once again he used the threat of taking him out of school, something incredibly important to Adrien, to manipulate someone who genuinely cares about him to be selfless enough to comply with him. He’s counting on other people caring about Adrien more than him to get his way. This is not only emotionally abusing Adrien, but Marinette as well. And there’s nothing anyone can do about it outside of Gabriel himself.
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And this heartbreak is so different from that act when Chat rejected her. That probably adds fuel to the fire with her parent’s. They can tell from her reaction that Chat was probably just a phase she was having but with Adrien, she genuinely loves and cares for him. She just wants to be with him and make him happy. You can tell that she already knows what she’s going to do simply because of how heartbroken and hopeless her cry sounds. There is NO justifiable reason for this. 
And this is part of the reason why I want to know how long they’ve been together at this point. I can see current Gabriel doing this, but if he hadn’t done what he does later on (which feels very out of character as I’ve addressed in a previous post I believe) then something else would have happened to tell him that maybe perhaps he did go to far and needs to apologize. If only he hadn’t taken it to the extent further down, this could have all been resolved. (Also, you can’t tell me that the news reporting that Gabriel made Adrien and Marinette break up after having reported about how star-struck they were wouldn’t put more damage on the company than Marinette leaping into Adrien’s arms in public...)
Nathalie and the Gorilla aren’t much help in this scenario either. I mean, think about it. 
They both very obviously care about Adrien, and they have both done things for Adrien to make his life easier, help him be happy. They both seem to see him as a son to themselves as well. But they both get to see how Adrien is treated day in and day out. There are cameras all over that house, I can only assume- so there would be plenty of evidence of the neglect going down. 
So...why, pray tell, have neither of them done anything? Oh Nathalie we know why, but what’s stopping the Gorilla? Don’t tell me he actually thinks that Adrien is better off in this environment? He sees what happens every day- if he’s mute, does he not know sign language? Or how to write? If he actually can’t talk then he could still write out a letter to the authorities. Is it because he doesn’t want Adrien to go into some kind of foster care system, be taken away from him, or have to go live with Felix? Tell me there’s something more going on preventing the Gorilla/Nathalie from actually taking action and doing something besides their jobs and not wanting to separate Adrien and Gabriel.
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She doesn’t even question her feelings for him even after finding out he’s Chat. And she probably knows that he knows that what she just said about not loving him was bogus, but I don’t think he ever figured out why she did it.
And look at this. 
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Here, Nathalie looks sad, heartbroken and almost shocked, while Gabriel is harshly calling for her from the phone. 
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And here her expression changes, only slightly. The first one, she saw Chat Noir and Adrien as one and was shocked that he that they were one in the same, and sad likely about the fact that he was fighting against his father. This one, is the moment of realization. Her eyes got wider, that look of dread really set in. This is where she realizes that not only is he fighting against his own father, but realizing what he’s fighting against, how many times he almost got killed because of it all (outside of the times Adrien has been the direct target of an akuma) and how she herself has fought against him in hand-to-hand combat and tried to hurt him. That is a look of pure regret. It’s all in her eyes. 
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And even here, her eyes shift ever so slightly, and she looks like she’s not even looking at anything anymore and trying to process that she has been actively hurting Adrien in her attempt to bring his family back together. Physically. 
Then when she really tells Gabriel, she doesn’t seem quite hesitant per se, but she sounds like she has to actually say it to believe it and thinks that if Gabriel knows, something might change. I doubt she actually thinks he’ll totally stop trying to get the miraculous (because we don’t know how much time has passed here and it seems he gets more and more desperate and with each passing day and less likely to quit as time goes on) but I do definitely think that her intentions with telling Gabriel this, like all others, were good. She wasn’t trying to hurt Adrien further. She was doing what she thought was best because I think that she thought that if Gabriel knew he was fighting his own son he’d question himself again, stop fighting him and actively physically hurting him, just do something other than what he actually does. She sees good in Gabriel otherwise she wouldn’t be in love with him. Heck I’m not in love with him and I saw good in him. Never in my wildest dreams did I actually suspect he would have reacted the way he did- especially with how he acted in Gorizilla! Sure in that episode he was still pretty awful, I mean who tosses their son off a building, but at least he actually seemed to care, he seemed like he’d be emotionally torn if Adrien had actually transformed- which is why I think that Gabriel isn’t necessarily entirely there anymore. I mean...look at this. Really look at it.
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There is a shock factor there, for a moment it actually seems as if Gabriel might be about to reconsider...
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What the frick happened
I don’t recall seeing him smile quite like that previously. His reaction is “Chat is my son? Well then I’ll take his miraculous!” and it’s nothing like what we see in Gorizilla. Something here has changed- something changed in Gabriel, the household. It just doesn’t seem right. Where is the Gabriel from before? Where are the nose holes for his mask? Why does he not have any nose holes, does he mouth-breath? Man Hawkmoth really is evil if he mouth breaths. I’m getting off topic- but this is why I want to know how long Marinette and Adrien were together before this. Something had to have happened to make him unstable didn’t it? I just can’t see how that is Gabriel. I can’t see how that would be his true reaction. Perhaps my perception of him is just severely muddled. Maybe I had more faith in him than I should have. 
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...wow. He really did accidentally kill them. Two people he loves, obliterated because one doesn’t know when to stop.
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Now here is an interesting scene. They fell directly from above, which tells me that Hawkmoth’s lair is directly above Emilie’s coffin room. Which must then mean that his office is above both on them? How very interesting. Now- how did they know where to find Hawkmoth. Watch that entire scene, you are given no hints....
Unless we are. 
Mayura/Nathalie isn’t there. It’s very out of character for her to not help Gabriel, isn’t it? How much later is this from when Hawkmoth found Chat’s identity? I’ll say a week? A few days? I can’t see how Nathalie would be able to actively fight against Ladybug and Chat Noir knowing who Chat was. Her and Gabriel definitely spoke about it if it is a day or so after. After being told he was going to continue, I don’t think she reacted very happily. She isn’t fighting against Adrien. 
That being said they’re also in the Agreste house. They already ruled Gabriel out of being Hawkmoth long ago, so why would they suspect him again? What could have given it away? Sure. she’s calling him Hawkmoth, but why would she respectfully call him “Mr. Agreste” or awkwardly call him “Gabriel”? Hawkmoth is much easier considering that’s who he is. If he wasn’t willing to stop or at least tone it all down for Adrien’s sake, then he was obviously doing all this for his own selfish purposes and was never out to help his family. No good could come of it, so I think it’s just barely possible that perhaps Nathalie decided it wasn’t worth it and found some way to contact Ladybug or tell Chat Noir/Adrien where Hawkmoth could be found. If it isn’t a few days after, then Nathalie hearing how Gabriel reacted, maybe she ran out through the front doors to tell them. All I know here is that there is a time skip of undetermined length and Mayura isn’t present in this episode at all. 
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This look of utter delight....if Nathalie did tell them where Hawkmoth was, she obviously said nothing about him knowing Chat’s identity or why Gabriel was doing it. Perhaps she knew that would make it harder to stop him for Adrien, if he knew what was going on? She can’t predict the future- But it comes as such a shock. I do believe they know that Gabriel is Hawkmoth and who they’re fighting against in this scene simply because how could you be inside the house of a world-famous fashion designer and not recognize that while you’re going in? How would they have found him otherwise? There has been no evidence to my knowledge that would have backed up them going after him and suspecting him again to the point they actually go inside his house. Why were we not told how they found out? Was the puzzle just to long or are we supposed to continue seeing a certain character in a grey light? We were NEVER told how they found out who he is or where his lair is! He’s able to use his knowledge of who Chat is though, to shock him long enough to press the “reveal my wife” button. When he says “Dear Adrien”, Chat doesn’t ask “Father?!” he asks “How did you know?!”. then he sees his mom  
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He doesn’t ask if Hawkmoth is Gabriel. He makes no move to seem to try to figure out “Why does Hawkmoth have my mom in his basement”. Sure, it’d be pretty obvious to anyone but he doesn’t even hardly have time to think “If my mom is here then this must be my father”. No, he just never suspected that his mother would be so close. 
“I’m doing this all for her Adrien”
And Adrien then proceeds not to ask anything about his dad. He knows that’s him. He just asks “Why” over and over. He’s in so much emotional turmoil from this alone that he almost seems to cataclysm his dad, but I don’t think he even actually had that intention. 
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what
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WHAT
WHAT THE HECK?!
HOW IS THAT ALLOWED IN A TV-Y7 SHOW?! 
deep breaths, deep breaths, calm yourself, Self.
Then the next scene, Chat is fearfully crawling away from his own father. In actual fear. Gabriel is actually completely okay with what he’s doing, justifying it by saying “this is for us” but it isn’t. Not once he’s gone that far. If you have to beat your child into submission, it’s not for their own good. I hope it never actually goes that far, but let’s continue.  
What he’s saying is basically telling Adrien that he’s been fighting against bringing his own mother back, he doesn’t want to hear that him and his lady are capable, have BEEN capable, of bringing his mother back to him. This goes to prove that IF Emilie is bad, Adrien wouldn’t be able to handle it. It would put a similar psychological torture on him as this did and idk about you but I don’t think Gabenath is worth Adrien’s mental health (I still very much ship Gabenath don’t get me wrong but if Adrien is going to suffer like that to make it happen then I’m not so sure it’s worth it.). The amount of emotional manipulation in these couple of minutes is too disgusting to put into words. 
“If she loved you as much as she says she’d save your mother”- does that mean he’s now also aware that Marinette is Ladybug? Seriously, what happened during this time skip?? Did Ladybug and Chat Noir start openly dating so they could still be together as heroes even if they weren’t together as civilians?
It gets to the point where the boy can’t stand it. He needs to be left alone. He needs to process everything- how is he supposed to know what’s right and wrong when he has two people he loves dearly telling him to do two very different things? Does he save his mother and join his father? Does he listen to ladybug, spare someone else the price of Emilie and follow her into their future?
The delight on Gabriel’s face as he sends his akuma into Chat is just....it’s unthinkable. How can he be enjoying this when it seemed to hurt him so much to toss him from a roof? I don’t understand. It doesn’t make sense! The only way I can make any sense of it would be if Gabriel had just completely lost his mind! He feels so OOC! Something had to have happened to make him go this far. He has to be severely emotionally unwell and distanced from Adrien if he’s actually okay with this- and if he doesn’t have the critical thinking skills to think “Hey, maybe someone who’s this traumatized shouldn’t have the power of unlimited destruction. Maybe just be able to use his power multiple times.” then idk he’s a complete fool. At least this version is anyway. I can’t believe him. 
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This is not okay.
How can he stand there and watch his own son, in pain, struggling because he doesn’t understand what he needs to do anymore and just grin??
“Obey me!”
I’ve had my parents tell me to listen to them, to do as they say, quote the 5th commandment at me and things like that, but obey? In such a harsh tone? To obey could almost be interpreted as having to listen because they are your master. Slaves obey. 
How they do the facial expressions so well...is just artful, I must admit. Even if they do tear my heart out piece by piece. 
And perhaps Chat Blanc taking the blow for himself did something to damage his psyche even more than it already was. Perhaps that helped to paint the unstable Chat Blanc we’re introduced to. 
“It wasn’t my fault”
That’s right baby, it wasn’t. You’re a victim of cruel circumstance. You’re completely innocent and I hope you genuinely believe that. 
But seriously, Hawkmoth’s lack of understanding of what emotional turmoil can do and giving a distressed child the power of total destruction...yeah. Imagine being single-handedly the reason the entire freaking universe got wiped out. 
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What makes everything even worse is that now Marinette thinks she can’t trust Adrien with her secret. She thinks he blabbed and Chat found out her identity (still not piecing together that Chat is Adrien). That must be a rather hard potential truth to take. When in reality, he never said anything and she could trust him completely. And her erasing the signature 
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means the Chat Blanc Timeline never happened. Which puts everything back at square one. All that abuse...it never actually happened. It was a potential outcome of the future and it never actually occurred because it was fixed. We got to see a potential result of the identity reveal, we got to see the way Future Hawkmoth would have reacted- but what about current Gabriel? It feels like all that happened a decent way into the future, at least long enough for something to happen for Gabriel to go further down his rabbit hole. How different are the potential versions of Gabriel and the current Gabriel? I still want to hold out hope that he can change for the better. Adrien has been through enough as it is, he doesn’t need his father to hit him, emotionally manipulate and traumatize him. 
This episode i feel like simultaneously showed a worst case scenario, why a reveal would be dangerous, why Adrinette probably wouldn’t happen even if Adrien liked Marinette like that, and how far things could go downhill if the reveal happened in the wrong place, at the wrong time. In this case it just absolutely obliterated the chances of Adrien having a loving family again, unless part of Gabriel’s wish erased what he had just done to Adrien. With the erasure of the Chat Blanc future, there is potential for Gabriel, I think, since Chat Blanc never happened. Since he never actually did it, I don’t know how to feel. On one hand he never did it and therefore could have potential to turn around, but on the other, that timeline showed what he could be capable of in the right situation. 
I’m walking a thin line on a lonely road when it comes to Gabriel Agreste. I’m skipping rope with the line. And one last thing...
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Alix is going to do something to prove herself in the future. You can tell by this scene. I wonder what it is?
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blookmallow · 5 years ago
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i dont have the energy to go through all my outlast 2 screenshots right now, i have one liveblog post drafted that i was working on before, and now i have a huge pile of screenshots to go through again so there’ll be. at LEAST two more... play by play type posts lmao
so anyway the order’s gonna be kinda weird but my brain is screaming and ive been going through wiki pages for like 2 hours so heres. some thoughts and a lot of questions and some observations i think im. sort of starting to get it,
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ok so... knoth believed the antichrist was going to be born, apparently he DID think it was going to be from one of his own people, but then. blake and lynn obviously aren’t from his people so i have no idea why he suddenly decided it was on them 
marta was his “angel of death” hitman going around murdering people in the name of god
people who got sick (definitely STDs, believed to be the Curse of Sin or whatever but it might have just been anyone who was diseased at all) got banished to the scalled village where they all got HORRIFICALLY sick and infected and have completely lost their minds now abandoned by the church
val broke off from knoth’s church and started the heretics cult, they seem to be. satanists now and are trying to allow the birth of the anti christ but are also constantly trying to kill me to death too 
according to the wiki val is almost definitely a trans woman, which. the Only trans character in outlast is a woman who is a violent sexual predator who might be a devil worshipper and has wet dreams about child murder. granted everyone in outlast is fucked up but THAT’S A PARTICULAR KIND OF FUCKED UP
lynn was not visibly pregnant when they crashed, blake claims they hadn’t been sexually active in months so if she was pregnant, it’s not his child. when he finds her again she’s not only very visibly pregnant, but actively going into labor. she calls it “our baby.” blake doesn’t have the chance to ask her how this happened. this is never fucking explained : )
like it doesn’t look like lynn was just like.... reverse c-sectioned and even if someone raped her to force pregnancy she wouldn’t have gone through an entire 9 month pregnancy in ONE NIGHT, so what the FUCK was that about
the wiki mentions its possible the baby isn’t actually real, it apparently doesn’t cast a shadow and lynn has the “there’s nothing there” line, but even if blake hallucinated the pregnancy and the baby (which. at least would explain how the process of “giving birth” took like 3 seconds and she became suddenly 9 months pregnant in one day) why would lynn be reacting as if she was pregnant too. or if they both hallucinated it why did she say “there’s nothing there,” wouldn’t she be able to see it too 
anyway jessica, lynn, and blake were all friends in. high school middle school whatever age.  it seems like there was some kind of love triangle going on, jessica seems into blake in the flashbacks, blake seems unsure
he starts getting lynn and jessica confused near the end so he might’ve had some kind of feelings for her though, the wiki mentions his complete obsession with saving lynn might have been partly fueled by “i couldn’t save jessica but im going to save lynn im not going to lose them both i HAVE to succeed this time” to the point that they just kind of became the same person in his head by the end 
there’s some weird parallels with jessica playfully jumping on him and val pinning him down so its very possible jessica was acting... sexually aggressive toward him, on a much smaller scale of course, but enough that val’s assault triggered the memory
jessica was almost definitely being molested by one of their teachers/church leaders/whatever and blake seems to blame himself for not doing anything about it
i thought jessica killed herself and blake felt responsible for it, maybe figuring the abuse she was enduring from the teacher (and possibly her father, she reacts very afraid when he threatens to call her father) might have been one of the causes, and he didn’t help her 
but the wiki says the teacher actually may have killed jessica and forced blake to help cover it up as a suicide, hence... finding her on the stairs. which i guess makes sense too 
but the whole flashback thing is never explained?? i guess maybe it really was just trauma manifesting in really fucked up ways and like, that’s still narratively interesting but the fact that it kept crossing over into the real world (the recordings from the flashbacks showed up as corrupted files, so Something happened and it wasn’t just in blake’s head, frequently you get stuck somewhere you can’t escape from, get pulled into the other world, wake up somewhere else entirely) means it’s not just internal so why the FUCK is he crossing dimensions. they don’t tell you!!! i had to go digging on the wiki to figure this shit out
from the wiki:
“The "apocalypse" Blake had witnessed, as well as the nightmarish flashbacks to his childhood, were all just hallucinations induced by the Murkoff Corporation's local Radio Towers.“
WHAT???? IT WAS MURKOFF THE WHOLE TIME 
but like. are you telling me it was all a hallucination that was just kind of vaguely mentioned Once. the big reveal/the truth behind it all was literally just hinted about in One Note/One weird encounter with a distant radio tower in ONE SCENE randomly in the middle of the game and never expanded on. what the FUCK kind of writing/game design is THAT
it looks like the “voice of God” knoth was hearing was actually the murkoff frequencies too, but like. fucking why. why were they telling this guy to kill babies and create a murder cult. was it just a “how far can we take this” experiment like the “how badly can we fuck someone’s mind up if we take away their meds and exacerbate their mental illness” thing at mount massive. i mean i guess a corporation that would do That would also probably fuck with a bunch of hyper religious hillbillies too but it just seems way too convoluted for “idk just wanted to see what would happen” 
and “maybe if we hide subliminal messages in the radio frequencies we can convince some random guy we’re the voice of God” is. way too specific to actually Work, i guess maybe if they could induce hallucinations they could maybe manipulate peoples’ minds that much more efficiently but like. still. it doesnt fucking make sense!!!!!! why would it manifest as “flashbacks of childhood trauma” in blake and “suddenly im pregnant” in lynn and “God Said I Gotta Kill Everyone” in knoth and “satan said i gotta fuck everyone” in val NONE OF THAT MAKES ANY FUCKING SENSE!!!
APPARENTLY there’s a whole mess of comics that go along with this and hopefully explain shit a little bit more but “explaining what the fuck happened in your game by means of a side comic that isn’t mentioned in said game” is : ) 
I DONT KNOW. iM SO TIRED ITS 1 AM SOMEHOW
ill go through all my screenshots and shit later maybe that’ll help. something :’) god. I MEAN TO BE FAIR, outlast’s strengths have never been its story telling, it’s a great game for being absolutely scared out of your fucking mind and boy did they ever deliver on that front so like... i guess ultimately i got what i wanted out of it but im still CONFUSED,
i should really have expected this though lmao this is the same thing that happened at the end of outlast 1 i didnt understand anything until 900 wiki pages later and still hated the ending even when i finally did sort of almost understand it 
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