#and there are several people i wouldnt care to see again lol at least not in a position of power

[gaarasboyfriend]

going to be as vague as possible but i was recently in a space where it was clear we were not welcomed by certain organizing members, but also we just didnt connect for another big portion of the attendees which does happen sometimes

[x1e3ju]

sigh.

i realize i dont rant here enough like as much as i should. i should be drawing and not spending time being a fucking idiot ranting on TUMBLR at 2 am but shuake is just too serious for me

CUZ yall don’t understand my level of. crazy. my level of insane my level of obsession its been like 7 months of just straight up fixation and i always find the same things to feel the new feeling of love again for them. saw someone talking about their short film like a little summary on what its abt and the inspiration, a little love letter to their lover of sorts saying how the film is abt genuinely loving someone who is good to you for the first time, “This was the first time I would say "I love you" to someone, and it not come from a place of fear or a toxic one. This film is a celebration of vulnerability, and letting pure, secure love in without the constant impulse to self sabotage” I’ll quote and bc i cant think of love without immediately thinking of shuake (its a genuine problem lmao😭), i HAD to just think about them and yk what. idegaf their love is so beautiful to me. i think the idea of akechi having bpd and the same mental issues and disorders as me finding love in someone who is also very similar to him in some sense, like them both being autistic and such, just really speaks a lot to me.

im definitely not an opposites attract person, although they technically WOULD be opposites i think the whole troupe of “enemies” to lovers is the fact that they arent really enemies and actually have a lot more in common than first thought, at least when done well anyway so to me, they aren’t opposites when it comes to like. the things that matter like personality and the things that make people connect and become closer like the things u cant control ig lol but anywho, bc i hc (its basically canon) akechi having bpd i think thats why it means SO MUCH more to me and i love his character sm. he’s not my favorite, but bc that’s the first time i see a character like that be represented with something so similar to me and not be treated like a villain or just be really extreme like akechi is definitely. well. extreme but he’s not like, let’s say, like yuri level from ddlc like i wouldnt even consider that bpd she just straight up crazy😭 like idk, i just really relate to akechi so i really see him having bpd and bc ive always felt soo left out bc of my bpd even in spaces you would THINK would be safer, i always feel singled out somehow and although i still dont really know why, ig i see myself in akechi a lot and even akira too so the idea that parts of me could find that love and care like the fact that parts of me could find other parts of me, ig im not broken lmao like its all a little puzzle :)

okkk lore drop🔥🔥 got so hashtag emo there BUT that meant something i promise!!! that whole idea of feeling like ur missing something or theres just something wrong with u or ur unloveable or whatever, the idea that akechi felt that and FOUND it in akira makes my heart melt like a fucking fangirl i hate everything. i always think abt shuake and their love bc people always say how they are so toxic blah blah blah, and yk what, lemme not lie, that’s probably the truth! but i cant see them being soo toxic like that especially with how young they are like akechi was like. a few months of just turning 18, akira was 17 like they arent full grown adults even tho akechi was definitely aware enough to know what he was doing was wrong (even at 15 or however old he was when first helping shido i would say), you wouldnt understand the FULL severity of it like its a lot to explain but HOPEFULLY i make sense lol😭😭 and i think just being so young and growing through so much like im already. off. and i dont even live a life CLOSE to that EVER like of course he’s gonna be a little. off his rockets🤩 i mean what did yall expect😭 i keep using this phrase but yea!! so the idea of him meeting akira and finally being able to feel that youth and enjoy parts of life that typically teenagers get to live is si sweet to me.

mind u, im not saying that him living that “teenage life” is the way it HAS to be lived bc i think my life is better without those things as a teen myself and its most definitely not necessary but to me, akechi is just like. a very much stan twitter gay guy😭 he has his little bit of nerd (WHICH I LOVE^_^) but like anyone, of course he would want and need that friendship, that connection. do i believe he wouldn’t really care abt friends and shit? yea bc look, i dont really care for that myself but i wont lie to you and tell u i would love just ONE good connection in my life like yk, a friend i actually want but im not gonna be all friendless here so back to akechi!😊 he’s just very normal high schooler to me, ONE THING I LOVE ABT HIM AND SUMI ACTUALLY. i feel like with sumi, because ae doesn’t know like anything abt akechi’s past and what’s he’s done and stuff i feel like akechi just gets to live a “regular high schooler life” with sumi, yk? like everytime akechi and sumi would hang out (i like to believe they would hang out pre royal idgaf🥱) and akechi would complain or talk akira, sumi would just think “ah he’s on his crush thing again” like ae has NO CLUE he’s gonna shoot him in the head and yk what. that connection definitely means something bc that would be the first person akechi has ever met his age who ISNT involved in his “work life”?? like isn’t involved in his cases and shit like. a genuine healthy friendship🤯🤯🤯 and thats ANOTHWR reason i love sumigoro (make fun of me all u want but i seriously do not. gaf😜😝) bc i think akechi would really go and mess that up, he’d be like “wait. do i actually like sumi” all bc of the fact that they have a good connection and akechi isnt used to that

WHICH brings me to what i was GOING TO bring up (sorry for the crazy detour) but YEA, the whole idea of having a love and always feeling the need to self sabotage reminds me smm of shuake. akechi going and ruining their connection even though there was definitely ways he could’ve gone abt killing shido…. with the phantom thieves’ health possibly👀👀???? i feel like that was the prime explain of self sabotage, guilt and the fact that he wasnt even actually processing what he did and HAS done. like that one scene after 11/20 where he’s in the studio filming and their asking him abt the pts and he gets slient and thinks abt some shit like abt the pts and sorta feels guilty (idk if thats the undesirable child scene i think it is but im not sure lol) but yeah that, that is the PRIME explain of processing and guilt. after killing people and doing all that shit for so long i think that was the first time it actually hit him like “oh shit wait. i’ll never see these people again” like the idea that it hit so close to home, these were kids HIS age, even younger too and.. what EYE like to believe, people he thought probably deserved more life than even himself (like the after thought of it) bc u cannot convince me he really sent his ass over to shido’s palace just to tell joker some shit like girl. and getting himself killed too like naww that’s embarrassing as shit😭😭 like ik thats talked abt and thats what the whole scene is abt but like. EXACTLY he felt guilt for his actions and felt he needed to atone!! HE HADNT REALLT PROCESSED ANYTHING IF HE WAS FEELING THAT NOWW ofc he was going to get innocent people killed like. YEA😭😭 but he’s a fucking kid like what did u expect him to do, even if i had that power even with the current knowledge i have☝️🤓 i wouldnt even realize wtf im doing like yk ur doing something bad, but as a smart kid too.. its all abt competition lol, but in all seriousness tho and they show that in the game

ok sorry got off track again but yea, self sabotaging his love with akira all for the competition of it all, clearly i will never just flow into it naturally so ill state it plainly, self sabotaging his love and overall genuine connection with akira bc thats all he was ever thought to do, from his own mother and obviously, his own father. had to sabotage the love he had for his mother bc well. she ended up kwording herself😭😭 and had to sabotage the love for his father (which didnt exist to me idc) bc he had to kill him, i mean. he was awful😭😭 so having that constant battle between that, thats one thing i LOVE like ADORE ABOUT SHUAKE i love the idea that they could be vulnerable with each other i also love akira and his personality cuz he compliments akechi so well in SO MANY WAYS whoever wrote and made their characters and storylines personally ate with their yaoi deliverance😍😍 LMAO that was a joke but honestly. gave us such a good ship TY🙏 atlus at least for SOMETHING ur good at like like the thing i quoted said, THE WAY THAT IF ATLUS WOULDVE GAVE US AN I LOVE YOU BETWEEN THEM. aside from the fact i would’ve killed myself and died and then fell off a cliff and then kill myself again and killed myself a 3rd time just to make sure i also would’ve cried SO BAD, ik thats asking for WAYY TOO MUCHH but let a girl dream smh like IT WOULDVE MESNT SO MUCH AND HAD SM WEIGHT, it truly would’ve been akechi’s first ily that would’ve came from a genuine good place or would’ve been the first ily he ever heard that didnt try to manipulate or gain smth out of him!! which is. BEAUTIFUL ALL WAYS U LOOK AT IT like they definitely had their ups and downs (shuake i mesn) but the fact akira still wouldve loved him and seen him through everything is just so. something abt the unstable and the unstable but a little more stable dynamic😍😍 but seriously tho lol, i love their connection. again, it just speaks a lot to me SO PERSONALLY i hate everything

one thing i love abt royal is how we got to see akechi’s character a bit, i do like the royal writing a lot for this reason, some parts felt like aww yk lol and kinda reminiscent to the beginning of the game which felt a lot more genuine even tho royal’s writing felt more fanservicey, it had SOME sense of like, ok the characters arent written toooo bad here like the middle of persona so i appreciated it and u can tell atlus put a lot more work on the royal trio scenes (the fanservice was crazy in that part😭) so i also loved that too lol bc again, we got to see akechi’s character and the effect joker had on him and how like. less of an asshole he was like i wish we could’ve seen just a BIT more of him. again again i just LOVE dynamics like shuake and seeing characters grow and shit and shuake just does it so well UGH i hate them😭😭

[neutrallyobsessed]

EPISODE 7!!!!!!!!!! I SAW THE PREVIEW IMAGES

NOW I KNOW WHO MARY IS Y EL ALMA ME VUELVE AL CUERPO!!

sehh el sindrome de abstinencia de topher bus viene con español de mas, asi que deberia ser tobi col, que se yo puta madre DONDE ESTASSSSSSSSSS

but lets see how this revelation comes to them~~

hmm so theres this kinda lack of feelingggg, like now Joan and Abe are literally each other's girl and boy next door,,,, they're doing this taylor swift thing were they speak from the windows....hmm i need more jealousy fits from each other about each other yknowww

BUENO COJAN YAAA A VERRR POR DIOSSSSSS

wait, so if Abe is gonna be like JFK, and JFK is gonna be like Abe.. then wHO'S DRIVING THE VAN???????

oh man, i love that type of joke! in the fic im writting i put it several times like actually lolol

((((~~save me oh, save me topher of the intro~~))))

ohhhhh new clones??? or maybe not, it does sound like a lot of work lmaoo yeahhhhh

without raisins lol

oh damn that epic yo but like, did you fuck harriet at least?

TOPHER!

aghhhughhohgoihjbnjdwieouwhaoaogsghhh hhhhh ok,,, okkk ok we all know that i wanted him back and HE IS BACK FUCK YEAH but i cant really decided if that was a good way or a bad way but lets just say that my ice cold water bottle has completely evaporated!! and imma- imma get a new one...... brb yeah :)

but like- yeah that's 3 (THREE) unfunny yet popular hcs disproven by canon all at once: he DOES shower, he DOES have hair and he DID fuck at least once.......... tbh the balding virgin is kinda funny but i have my reasons~ and come on people! who doesnt love a good cold shower cuaNDO TE ESTAS CAGANDO DE CALOR VIEJA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA NO WAIT 4(FOUR) HCS! He doesn't dye his hair either! but like, that's not bad or unfunny is just- Do you know why el Dibu Martinez is nicknamed like that?

NO YEAH VAN GOGH I BELIEVE YOU 100% LIKE ACTUALLY SJKSJSKJSKSKS and can we get a hell yeah for Ivan? hell yeah!!

EL PRIMAS!!! EL JOTA EFE KA ES EL PRIMAS!!!!!! tho i expected that more of topher yaknow? like! like he had the sleepover with abe como no vas a traer a tus primas???

ooooooooooh Erica Rivinojaaaa you wouldnt fuck abe? thats actually super cool and a breath of fresh air. like a lot of writers and producers self insert in their shows to fuck their characters but here Rivinoja is like "nope im not gonna fuck the characters!" and thats actually hella based, we love to see it!!! leaving that to the fans eh ;)

yeah you know all bout cementary film screenings dont you joan? lol

ok i know she means she doesnt like having her picture taken without consent but still, you did sent a titpic to abe soooooo

UUUUGHHHHH FUCKING FINALLY i thought they all knew tho, like especially Cleo? who dated Abe?? eh whatev lol

OMG THATS FUCKING HILARIOUS THOSE FUCKING BLINDERS AMIRITE PEOPLE!!!

YEAHHHH JEALOUSY FIT, THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING~~♥!

OH SHIT J- CL- BUT NOW WITH M- IS BACK!!!!!!!!

my fav gags making their appearances once again!

ohohoh they gonna find out~~ NO SHE DIDNT GO BACK~~!!! OOOO- yeah explain that Cleo wasn't invited there.... that she was barely in the show last season.......... LIKE- YKNOW

Ahahaha funny you say that cause before that you were like tHiS SO laMe and now you do want to get invited aaaa

This scene is so aesthetically pleasing.... and ok if it is Bloody Mary, it's ok for an overuse of blood, but still, it could have a lot more impact if y'all DIDN'T overuse blood all those times before!!

people die all the time, yeah ok lmaooo

HI! JSKSJSKSJKSJSKSJKSJJSKSJS

Aww the boys care for her- NOOO UN PINCHE FURRRO AAAAAA

oh what is this? scott pilgrim?

Hmmm didn't understand that reference...

And that's why we all need to stay hydrated and have a nice cold bottle of water near by~!

Hahahah~~! HAHAHAHHHHH!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO GIRL! you having sex with EVERYONE who DONT MATTER what the fuck

there is SO MUCH jealousy and regret in this screenshot, i love it!!

Rating: Abe still a virgin/10!

Topher Bus has appeared on screen for 8 seconds.

[misqnon]

hi. march. slowly shortening this introduction to my posts. sorry if this is a little incoherent i woke up in the middle of the night and im getting sleepy again

i tried looking up fanfiction involving hannyabul and magellan the other day and there was almost none??? i really thought theyd be .. at least a little popular ... the dynamics... arent the dynamics similar to zosan or cavendish and bartolomeo.. dont people like that.. (i wouldnt know since ive never really been a fan of the enemies/rivals to lovers trope)

im pretty sure kidd wears a beast pirate disguise? and like .. good for him... (good for me).. hes got the titties out. i love men. i also rly enjoy the few frobin moments we get when theyre in disguise, theyre super cute!! it seems like u havent been spoiled on the Biggest Moments in wano so im very very glad to hear that. it also kind of has a mystery aspect so i think its probably way more enjoyable to go in blind. there IS a special kind of anticipation when u know what's coming but.. imo its more fun to guess how things will go rather than know and be excited about it

honestly i didnt care for the setting either. in the anime tho .. big mom's introduction is so good. theres a song that plays (its in the manga too but it's way better to hear it rather than... read lyrics) and when i started wci i was still watching the anime, so i got to listen to the song. it was stuck in my head for days. very catchy. i love how theatrical it is and it really made me excited for the arc .. and then i ended up barely enjoying it LOL. also i do actually love pudding but her age also makes me go... ewww. oda made an awful decision making her 16 . gives me kyros flashbacks.. although sanji doesnt seem to be genuinely interested in her. but still like why did oda do that... why... what is the point ... wci does pick back up a bit imo after they get sanji back (which i think is the part ur at? or a little bit after?) and i honestly think it wraps up quite nicely. and yeah.. most importantly.. katakuri is introduced in the second half. lovely guy. i heart him

robin's va did that in. one take??? that is Insane?? she genuinely channeled robin in that moment wtf

i will definitely talk abt opla if/when i watch it. even if zoro doesnt have his goofiness at least i can thirst over him. am i into mackenyu? no.. zoro? yeahs........ also i can definitely see how jacob being too hot is an issue for usopp LOL. some people just.. ooze confidence.. and are too smooth. i think ill probably enjoy his characterization anyways tho cuz i adore usopp

i cant draw women for the life of me but transfem sanji is haunting my brain and.. she made me attempt .. attempt to draw a lady. its her. shes the lady.

YOU THOUGHT OF ME??? im so flattered U have no idea aikfjshdjd. law.. i.. hes a little fucked up.. human art pieces . actually as someone who's done a bit of sculpture (but not abstract art. and it was ceramics) i can appreciate it. if he didnt use real living people in his art i would definitely appreciate it more.. but i imagine seeing a severed head on a sculpture and then they start talking to u.. i imagine that would be a Little.. scary... just a little . i think he should go to therapy probably. ur mental illness is showing law .

i think its semi canon?? theres a moment in the anime (idk if its in the manga or not) where bepo gives law.. puppy dog? eyes? but like .. polar bear version. and law is clearly weak to that. also he calls chopper a tanuki even after being asked not to bc chopper has a cute reaction (he gets mad). so i think he IS weak to cute animals. he is very similar to robin like that... they would definitely bond over choppers cuteness. and they both have weird taste.. in cute animals. its not bunnies or idk. dogs or cats. robin likes pathetic animals (the dragon that had to carry them all up to zou) and law likes . bepo. a 7 foot tall polar bear man.

THATS SUCH A STRANGE COINCIDENCE. this is my first time moving since ive lived in the same place my whole life .. so its kinda exciting and also kinda scary.

OH so u can send images but it just cant be on anon. im.. one day... one day for sure.. (soon). i grew up on twitter tho .. yeah. and before that it was youtube. i have been on the internet since the beginning of time (since i was in single digits. like 5 maybe idk, but i do remember being able to make my own youtube account at 7, and i had been using my brothers before that). my dark past. since ive been on the internet so long i just accept that theres probably a load of my personal information out there for anyone to see. and also a bunch of embarrassing things I've said from years ago. sometimes i come across a youtube comment from when i was like 9 and its always a bit shocking LOL

I HEARD WHAT HAPPENED WITH SESSHOMARU. when i found out .... it .. it .. i.... i dont have words. its so upsetting 😭. actually ive kind of been trying to get into vocaloid bc i recently (like 2 years ago) found out i had been listening to it.. and i didnt know. i didnt realize it was vocaloid

LOL, i say IT COUNTS. i dont draw in my mind cuz i have slight aphantasia. i imagine drawing in ur head is way more relaxing than actually drawing... cuz like... the struggle of anatomy.. proportions.. lighting.. colors.. yeah art is so hard.

there havent been any sbs's recently i dont think?? like they stopped at some point during wano and .. idk what happened. i miss it .. i want to ask about the giant snails that pull germa's ship... well i want someone else to ask about it really . not me. but yeah i have a lot of questions and i just hope it comes back soon 😔. maybe im just missing them somehow but i have checked multiple places. but for some reason i dont see anyone mention it.

RIGHT?? RIGHT???? dont worry the colorism stays /s. they have characters in the latest episodes that are dark skinned and they made only the girl lighter skinned. oda didnt do that. oda made them all the same in the manga. its infuriating.

an issue i have post timeskip is that i actually cannot tell the women apart half the time. they all look pretty similar in the manga, although theyre distinguishable by their clothes and hair. but there was a spread (not colored) that had the main one piece women all in different clothes and with different hair and i sat there for multiple minutes trying to figure out who was who. like i genuinely couldnt tell. i miss nami's short hair,, it had so much character.. and i also miss robins short hair.. again.. it had so much character.

even on a colored cover i had a moment where i was like "is that vivi or is it nami" because it was just a solid blue. i assumed vivi based off context clues and bc.. blue. but if i hadnt had that.. i dont think i wouldve been able to tell. i have no problem with character design changing but oda makes most of the women next to indistinguishable from one another now. its really upsetting. if they had different skin tones or even just. different eye shapes. or different figures. it wouldnt be that much of an issue. but nooo he cant do that. all women who are supposed to be attractive have to look the same.

YEAH ive seen that video!!! u show up a lot on my feed but most of the time its just... the same few posts... which is kind of funny. I ALSO LOVED THE NEWKAMA!! like wow!!! queer representation??? i feel a kinship with these characters?? bon clay literally made impel down for me. my favorite boygirl girlboy. i adore u bon clay.. i adore u.

im a big fan of fukaboshi so i think anytime he was on screen my enjoyment was elevated. also zoro fighting hody(is that who it was) underwater was so cool . like how are u better than a fishman in water??? and the moments with noah... it felt like it was setting up some rly big things and i always love stuff like that. LOL YEAH sanji was even grosser on return to sabaody. i think its just not talked about as much because it wasnt a long arc and he wasnt on screen for a lot of it

oh they for sure have some good points. i also miss the silly shenanigans of pre timeskip. but overall im enjoying post timeskip more, and i do think theyre at least a LITTLE BIT blinded by nostalgia. its hard not to be tbh. i do really miss seeing all the crew together. i dont exactly mind them splitting up but .. i feel like a lot of them end up kind of sidelined. we dont get to see (just some examples) brook or chopper or nami fight much and i. i love them.. i love them just as much as the rest of the crew. i think nami has a really interesting fighting style. and brook is just fun. and people complain (validly) that chopper has been mascotified. which i wouldnt mind so much if he got more cool moments but he doesnt!! we dont even get to see him being a doctor that often :(.

like the writing is still fantastic but yeah. i agree. oda has basically run the jokes that were already pretty tired. into the ground. sanji being the one who suffers most from it. i dont mind robin having more moments where she imagines a really gruesome thing has happened to someone, for example. because she barely did that pre timeskip, and now she only does it occasionally so its not like "oh my god STOP". its still enjoyable. but. idk if theres even a prominent example of someone's character joke being awful other than sanji. like hes the only one who has a consistently awful joke. that in my opinion has never been funny. and its been made into a huge part of his character. i still love post timeskip to death bc. look at everything thats happening!! but i have a lot . lot . lot of gripes with it.

fellow impel down and dressrosa lover 🫡. i do rly like water 7 but . i dont know why but i never enjoyed enies lobby all that much. i think thats probably super controversial LOL. oops.

oh friend... u have no idea..... i have SO many one piece thoughts ... i have paragraphs upon paragraphs of one piece thoughts... the hyperfixation is actively killing me /j

wait let me. find . some.. i send them all in my private (as in its just me and my irl best friend) discord server so its not only in chronological order from when i sent the messages but its also extremely disorganized.. hmm a lot of these are/involve huge spoilers LOL

wait. how do u feel about sanji with heterochromia. one eye is blue and the other is brown . u get the best of both worlds... i felt like i was smart for this but ur the resident sanji lover. u have the say (in my mind) of what is best for him,,,

i saw someone say usopp would get conquerers haki and i big time disagree. he has the best observation haki in the crew and i feel like him getting conquerers haki would kinda cheapen that. and it cheapens his growth. why does he need to have conquerers haki to be a brave warrior of the sea? hes doing perfectly well without it. and also i dont think it fits his character. hes cowardly, has no self confidence, runs away from battles sometimes out of fear, and definitely has a huge sense of shame. from what i know, people with conquerers haki are usually super self assured, strong in a pretty traditional sense, and dont have much self doubt. usopp is like the opposite of that. i think hes very brave because he fights despite how scared he is, but the character archetype just doesn't work imo. like usopp without those characteristics is. to me. not usopp. tell me what u think!! also im like 90% sure none of this is spoilery but if it is i am so so sorry

obviously i havent seen the live action yet but live action shanks looks too hot to me.. like hes too conventionally attractive. i want him to be.. a rat man.. greasy .. but extremely charming.. and hes NOT!! hes just regular hot!??

do all places in one piece just have extra chairs or tables that are bigger? cuz there are some characters that arent of the giant race but are huge. and yet they fit on regular chairs. do u have a 8 foot tall guy walk into ur bar and u have to say "wait a second, we need to get out the big chairs" and then drag out a chair twice ur size? is that the case EVERYWHERE? or do some places not have big chairs so if ur extremely large u just have to sit in a chair thats too small for u.. or maybe u just sit on the floor. or stand.

that scene in sabaody of usopp asking rayleigh if the one piece is real, and luffy gets mad and tells usopp that he doesnt want to know, and if he finds out he will quit right now because he wont go on an adventure that isnt any fun. luffy is such a chill, silly captain, that im sure him snapping like that must be scary. usopp looked so shocked. i love their relationship. i think moments like that. really solidify how real the characters feel. like yeah, they have strong, defined morals. and they will argue and be childish and yell for the sake of their morals. i feel like a lot of media has characters with morals but it doesn't ever show them actually disagreeing with someone. let alone a friend. idk im not wording this great but i think this moment is so good. i love the moments of childishness in one piece. its very humanizing to have immaturity in ur characters

ok thats what ill leave u with for now :)

IM GLAD THAT MADE U LAUGH!! i felt really called out by constantly seeing it bc.. yeahm.. admittedly .. cannibalism is sexy sometimes.. i recently admit this to myself...

"i think he should go to therapy probably. ur mental illness is showing law ."

i think he should go to therapy probably. ur mental illness is showing march .

*nods* march 🫡

i dont think i’ve ever actually met someone who doesn’t like enemies to lovers before?? ik its popular bc its one of my favs and im happy about that bc im always nosedeep in the content SFNKJDN. valid tho. i cant speak bc ive written two 50K+ zosan fanfics and will probably write more 🧍I’LL USE THOSE SKILLS TO WRITE HANYAGELLAN FOR YOU. HAHA JK …UNLESS

so ive only met kidd once or twice right. i met him in sabaody pre-timeskip when the worst generation got introduced and he’s had a couple small moments since then. but i just feel and know in my heart that i would be a kidd girlie. red haired angry anime men are one of those specific niches i’m like YEAAA YEAAA [CHEERING] and people are always talking about his tits in the one piece server i’m in so. DFJNVIDJ HELL YEAH IM READY FOR THAT

and frobin…hell yea…theyre so cute…my weirdo couple…

actually!! im reading the manga on tcbscans and there’s a comment section under every chapter that i like to read bc its cool seeing ppl’s reactions (as i’ve said) and in big mom’s intro chapter someone was like “if ur manga only look up her song rn its actually so good” so i did and YEA. ITS SO FUN?? AND THEATRICAL?? AND I LOVE THE MELODY?? like ok big mom go off

yea i already knew pudding was 16 bc i was all up in sanji’s business and reading about wci when i joined the fandom but I DIDNT KNOW ABOUT KYROS AND I WAS SO MAD WHEN THAT REVEAL HAPPENED!??!!? I WAS LIKE DAMN ODA HAS DONE THIS SHIT LIKE 3 TIMES NOW?? for the third one i count shirahoshi. even though she didnt have a love interest it was nasty for him to make a character so obviously meant to be so beautiful and sought-after and sexualized and then make her a teenager. plus vander decken . existed.

OOH YEA THEY JUST GOT SANJI BACK AND THEY’RE TALKING WITH BEGE ABOUT AN ALLIANCE RN. I PLAN TO READ MORE TONIGHT SO WE WILL SEE 👁️

“am i into mackenyu? no.. zoro? yeahs........” this is so real

U DREW TRANSFEM SANJI?? HAH?? HELLO?? HELLO MAY I SEE??

i have an art degree and tbh i support law and his human sculptures wholeheartedly. its very dada of him imo. but abstract art seems more up his alley. regardless i know some of my professors would have been like “live human sculpture…wow…that is so Art” very marina abromavic of him as well. but um yeah he should still go to therapy tho. yea

robin and law 🤝 “cool and collected” characters thinking fucked up weird animals are cute

i’ve moved like 9 times in my life this is just another day in the life [eyebags the size of dinner plates]

(looks at the other ask in my inbox) oh yeah…very soon

omg. i started getting on the internet in single digits but to like. get on mylittlepony.com and play facebook games. i started being more “ONLINE” around probably 10 or 11 though and i made my tumblr account when i was 12 💀 i, too, sometimes see something old i posted and just go Oh God 

and i DEF had/have too much personal info online bc of that but i’ve tried to cut it down lately in the interest of ~ internet safety ~ . i dont use my first name online as much (hence going by mont in addition to the. trans-ness) and i took all my selfies off my blog. but who knows what else i put up and have forgotten about

RUMOKI TAKAHASHI I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU ‼️‼️ RUINING BEGRUDGING FATHER/ ADOPTED DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIPS FOREVER (jk i still love it but now im always just scared of. betrayal)

I LOVE VOCALOID!! i’ve been into vocaloid basically since i started being online (although i dont keep up with a lot of CURRENT vocaloid news so im like an old man who didnt keep up with the times. i love the original crypton 6 (miku, rin, len, meiko, kaito, luka) + gumi and gakupo but until a couple years ago i was like “What The Fuck is a Fukase” jbfvhjdn

i’ve caught up to date a little bit and still consider myself currently a vocaloid fan but yea im like a genwunner of vocaloid but just bc im lazy not bc im pretentious djsnkj

i actually saw kikuo (my fav vocaloid producer) in concert in january!! my first and only vocaloid concert…(but only bc he happened to be touring with bo en. no miku hologram for me)

ur like the third person ive met with aphantasia! and. yea its much easier in my head </3 why did i major in that shit </3 

WAIT REALLY?? THEY DONT DO SBS ANYMORE?? I LOVE SBS :( I ALSO HAVE SOME ONGOING QUESTIONS I WANT ANSWERED!! (that i want someone else to ask kjvfnkfn) i looked it up and didnt see much at a cursory glance aside from the fact that sbs happens every volume instead of chapter (?) who knows but i hope they didnt stop completely…

toei feel my wrath re: the racism. oda also feel my wrath re: the sexism. and the racism (why do you use the same skin color for everyone in the colorspreads…oda PLEASE) and the worst part about the nami clone thing is that we know he can draw women differently. have u seen how he drew young big mom. she was so hot. and yet he chooses NOT TO!!

FKJNKDLS WHY AM I WHATS NEW PUSSYCATTING ON YOUR FEED. WITH THE CANNIBALISM POST TOO. I POST SO MUCH GOOD CONTENT TUMBLR WTH </3 (LYING)

YEA I WAS ACTUALLY SURPRISED HOW WELL DONE THE IMPEL DOWN REPRESENTATION FELT?? THAT WHEN WE GOT TO KAMABAKKA I WAS LIKE why did we go…backwards…but they cant take the impel down newkama land away from me. that scene where iva makes a speech about gender and does a little performance made me feel so seen on screen even if oda meant for it to be tokenism or something. i think he thinks we (gay ppl) are cool but doesnt quite get it. like he saw gay ppl and went “this would work with my silly art style so well. transgenderism is a thrilling character trait” and then did not attempt to understand much after that KDCKJS

FUKABOSHI MY BELOVED actually all 3 of the fishman princes…when they cheered up shirahoshi during the scene where their mom was murdered i actually cried as they danced and sang through their own tears. like wtF. AND YEA ZORO ALMOST DROWNED SO MANY TIMES THAT ARC BUT HE WAS STILL COOL AND HOT 😔 the noah was also a cool concept!! you see the noah’s arc thing come up a lot in anime for some reason?? like my d gray man loving ass was like huh…okay two nickels…

ur so right about the sidelining (its like anyone that isnt the east blue 5) and especially about chopper. aside from being mascotified i wish he wasnt baby-fied too (which stems from the mascot problem). like…he’s 17. chopper is a full ass teenager, not a child. I GET that he’s a reindeer and also very naive but imagine how cool he could have been post timeskip…horn point chopper is my fav bc i just love the design but IMAGINE IF HE LOOKED LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME!!

and he could have so much more development in terms of constantly seeing his crewmates near death and always having to fix it…or just him improving as a doctor! i dont think we get to see chopper doctor enough but we also dont get to see him struggle! (m really just over here advocating for more depression and more hardship for chopper im so sorry king)

a lot of the running jokes i can still get behind (zoro getting lost will never not be funny to me idk how it hasnt gotten old but it hasnt okay) maybe bc its so harmless?? robin’s gruesome joke i agree, its not overdone so i still like it. mean nami slapstick i’ve never liked but can get a chuckle out of me every once in a while. brook panty joke L 👎brook skull jokes would be funny but they’re always too easy 👎 and yea sanji is the worst victim. i found it somewhat funny/endearing pre thriller bark when it was mostly harmless swooning and heart eyes but nowadays uhhh [beating him to death with hammers] 

u know what i see ur point on enies lobby. for water 7 it had great new characters and an AWESOME bright and beautiful water city setting but enies lobbies is. just a bunch of white government buildings on an island. the high point is definitely just robin’s moment. and kaku saying “I LOVE GIRAFFES. GIRAFFES ARE AWESOME” 

one piece brainrot is ruining me i have MUCH IDEA !!

OKAY LISTEN . I HAVE HEARD BOTH ROBIN HETEROCHROMIA AND SANJI HETEROCHROMIA AND LIKE. I DONT THINK EITHER ARE / COULD BE CANON BUT. robin heterochromia is so fun. and sanji heterochromia although for some reason i dont feel like it fits him HAS POTENTIAL bc imagine when he comes back post timeskip with his bangs covering the other eye now and the crew is like “🤨 wait i thought you had blue eyes?” ugh i need it. ive seen a LITTLE art and like 1 fic of heterochromia sanji and its very entertaining for sure i always eat it up even tho i dont necessarily headcanon it. i am so glad i have authority on this in ur mind btw. [clanging my sanji gavel] order in the court

i agree about usopp and conqueror’s haki! like damn we already got two of them with it dont we…although i saw someone on youtube somewhere suggest he could have “conquerer’s observation” ?? idk enough about haki to understand that but it sounds cool 👍 its not spoilery so dw! although that yt comment made me think like “if there’s multiple types of conqueror’s haki it it like..all based on one guy? one original conqueror ?? and who was it…” who knows…i mean i know zoro has conqueror’s haki bc of spoils but idk how or when that happens (wano, i assume. idk how i feel about that yet bc much as i love the green guy sometimes i feel like he’s favored a bit for the op stuff) and you made some really solid points about usopp’s character too!! part of me was like “damn sanji the only monster trio member not to have conqueror’s haki…” but he could not have it for. several of the same reasons u listed for usopp lmao AND THATS OK!! THOSE THINGS ARE REASONS I LIKE THEM BOTH 

“live action shanks is too hot” ok then explain this

you know what. that is. a good question. why do they get so big btw. like humans come in all sizes but why. is it to do with the gravity of the planet cause its so huge and got so many moons…thats how i explain half of the unrealistic things in this show lmao. maybe they just stand. its more Intimidating™. sorry villains dont get to sit (although that makes me think about that time doffy was just sitting on the table in the middle of the warlord meeting?? did u see that post?? its a screenshot like why did they let him on the table like that. evil cat behavior from local bird man)

THATS A GOOD SCENE TO POINT OUT. YEA YEA YEA YUOU GET IT. i loooove the serious luffy moments. ive said it a million times but luffy is intelligence 5 wisdom 20. luffy is actually very selfish but in a way that i dont hate…he just wants to be free. and free others. and he lives so in the moment. he’s so different from so many people that he’s very fascinating as a character to watch, esp bc he DOES have moments like u mentioned that make him feel real and have boundaries. u know its funny bc luffy is like the most open accepting character that its hilarious how many times ive seen something oda has written/done and been like “luffy would never do this. the character u made up and continue to write would be more accepting than this.” like luffy is totally chill with women, doesnt see them as lesser, never even hints at this like even zoro does, luffy’s super chill about bon clay and the newkama, luffy doesnt discriminate based on characters’ races etc etc etc. and yet oda DOEs do all this its like. oda u have to see if bc u MAKE it so why cant U BE MORE LIKE THE GUY YOU MADE UP FDJVKND. i think the only moment i can think of that even vaguely implies luffy knows what a gender role is is when he’s in amazon lily and they put him in a frilly shirt and he’s like “i dont wanna wear this. this isnt my style at all” but its all about his OWN preferences and not about anyone else’s. u get me??

“cannibalism is sexy sometimes” u get it. u get it. u understand. we are kindred spirits rn. join me

and the end KJFNDKJEN ITS OKAY MARCH LET’S GO TO THERAPY TOGETHER 

to end off here are some of my one piece headcanons (some of which probably will never be canon and im okay with that)

first off sanji is a repressed bisexual and u can tear this from my cold dead hands. post kamabakka he’s gnc too he just wont admit it bc hes a scared little baby bitch. ik it was anime only but that scene were he’s fighting in a dress and caroline keeps telling him to accept himself or some shit as a flower slowly blooms metaphorically in the in-between footage was transgender as hell. also that time someone sent a message to oda in sbs saying like “i’m so glad sanji is girl crazy and not boy crazy” an oda responded “uh, totally” …like is the translation just coming off sarcastic or am i reaching-

i think zoro is gay. he just gives me that vibe ok. 2nd choice he is aroace and luffy is like his qpp or somethin ok (i dont ship zolu but i can admit those bitches got a point bc MAN they really love each other. i like it much better as friendship tho) and on that note luffy is aroace too.

nami is a lesbian. im aware all 3 of these are the popular fandom hcs but idc. this one i have actual evidence for have u seen how she latches onto every woman in each arc. she’s just as bad as sanji she’s just more chill about it /hj

FRANKY IS STRAIGHT BUT HE’S A REALLY LOUD ALLY OKAY . HE’S JUST A COOL DUDE

contrary to fandom hc i think robin and usopp are probably straight. robin would make a very dignified lesbian or bisexual but i think she’s just a weirdgirl straight who’s being a supportive ally with franky. 

brook is probably straight but i think he was also simultaneously in love with yorki a little bit and doesnt talk about it bc yorki is gone now so its not like its gonna happen ever again. soul king “im straight but i had a boyfriend one time” brook

chopper is a reindeer

god what else do i have aside form sexuality headcanons. OH !! this isnt a headcanon but i have a running theory that many of the strawhats are based on classic characters from fiction/pop culture…i keep meaning to make a post about this but im busy

zoro is inspired by zorro. okay easy next

chopper is inspired by rudolph, obviously

usopp is inspired by pinocchio but I DONT SEE THIS ONE MENTIONED AS OFTEN: CYRANO DE BERGERAC!! down to the lying and the long nose and the crush on the rich girl out of his league!!

robin is inspired by matilda in my mind. weirdgirl with mind powers abused by her caregivers and obsessed with books…like okay oda just tell us u read roald dahl

i know sanji was inspired in looks by mr. pink in reservoir dogs but i havent seen that movie so i cant speak on anything else LMAO

i feel like its possible the others were inspired by more that i just am not aware of / might be japanese pop culture and therefore harder for western fans to spot…thoughts?

[coralstudiies]

hello everyone! I got an ask from an anon asking for tips on time management so i decided to type this out before school starts heheh…

poor time management and procrastination, unfortunately, plague just about all of us lol. people with a short attention span (like me) and who are pretty much always on their phone (me again) and who hate scheduling are the most susceptible to these.

over the years i struggled with time management(studying the night before the exam 🤙🏼) but! these are some tips that have helped me in scheduling, avoiding procrastination and improving time management.

1. Write it down

as always, we’re starting with BEFORE the actual task. write all tasks, assignments, projects and homework, test dates down somewhere (notebook preferably so that you dont lose it. it doesn’t have to be your bujo and you do not have to start a bujo for this specific reason!!!) and write the deadlines. this is subconscious pressure to do work once you get home. also, since you can see everything, it’s easier to schedule it out later

2. Use travel time

i cannot stress this enough!!!! sorry that it appears in all my tips posts but it truly is very useful. for short commutes, review the content you’ve learnt so that when you start on your homework, you’ve already got the hang of it. ie you dont struggle to understand the chapter and be put off from finishing your work because you hate it. long commutes can be used to complete work itself. i like to place some books and a file under my worksheet while i write (if i have a seat lol) or you can take this time to plan your time in greater detail

3. Actually plan your time

you dont have to fancy it up with like, brush pens and highlighters. just do something on google sheets or excel. divide the day into appropriate blocks of time.

for me, since i use a focus timer (50+10 or 100+20, rare cases i do 120 with a long break after that) i keep my days in 1hr blocks. so i’d block in about 1hour after i reach home to chill, clean up and so on, 2hrs for homework and the remaining time can be divided by hour/2hours to complete my work. you can tweak the timings to work for you but so far this one suits me pretty well.

4. NEVER RUSH YOUR HOMEWORK AND REVISION WHEN PLANNING!!!!

i repeat, never rush. because when you give only, say, one hour to review 3 chapters and you fail to do so within that time limit, you feel demoralised and hence, will not want to work more. this is a very common issue i believe. sometimes i would rush revise and when i couldnt stick to the timelines, i’ll feel so defeated that i’ll probably binge watch youtube to cure my self-pity LOL

give yourself an ample amount of time. Assign one or two hours a day as ‘delay time’ (this was my free time) so that you can catch up on anything that unfortunately, you couldn’t finish. Assign one day of the week to be the ‘delay day’ -- anything that you cant finish the week before, do it now. this means that you can still ‘save’ your plan even if it screwed up somewhere along the way. it works wonders, believe me! i used to have ‘delay hours’ after training where i would (ahem sadly) study from 2330-0030 if i needed to. while i was tired, i always got my work done.

5. Prioritise

this one needs no explanation. i usually choose which task to start on based on a combination of deadline+importance+graded/non-graded. i start early for graded assignments because they count towards my semester’s final grade and i want to hand up the best quality work i can. find a system which works for you! note: start project work and large assignments early.

you can assign simple tasks first to start the ball rolling, and proceed with harder tasks.

alternatively, if you’re at your prime focus, start with the hardest and scale down to the simple.

6. Make good use of holidays + Wake up early

ok i used to game a LOT and go to training a LOT (still happens now lol) during holidays but i wouldnt get any of my holiday work done.

do your holiday homework first. schedule your time well, and maybe stay home and resist the urge to go out for the first 5 days. finish all your work (again, schedule well) with breaks in between.

thereafter, schedule maybe 3-5 hours a day to revise. if you’re going out with friends, i’d suggest you wake up early to study because once you come home you’re usually dead tired HAHA

so how early is early?? during my o levels study break i would wake up at 0330 (yes, for real) but i slept at 2130 every night. so thats 6 hours of sleep wew but AT LEAST i was very productive. think about it this way: waking up early to study at 0330 makes you more productive than studying till 0330. you don’t have to wake up THIS early, but preferably early enough when the sky’s still dark so that you can fit in those extra hours. DO NOT sacrifice sleep. that’s why you can see i’m still sleeping my usual amount, albeit sleeping and waking earlier.

more perks of waking up early: its quiet outside, the air is cool, your mind gets into the ‘get shit done’ mode, and if you absolutely have to use your phone to search something up, your social media probably won’t be pinging. in other words, early mornings are actually a great time to study! remember to eat something though :>

7. Remove all distractions to prevent possible procrastination

YES i know this is the dreaded one. lock your phone somewhere inconvenient and put the key outside your room. or if you don’t lock it make sure your phone is far away from you as possible. please i know how deadly your phone can get so just put it away.

if you find yourself drifting away and looking at something else, remove that.

alternatively, change up your study environment. you don’t have to go to the library or something (you can if you want to). this is as simple as studying in a different part of the house. a new environment helps to ‘prick’ my mind and help me ignore distractions. i dont know if this is scientifically proven but oh well, worth a try.

8. 2-minute rule

this is something i picked up from @studyquill! it’s pretty helpful (although i was skeptical at first). Tell yourself you’re only going to work for 2 minutes, which helps you get into the workflow. chances are you’ll get so into it (ok not in an excited but rather in a determined way) that you don’t feel like stopping.

if you’ve had a long day and after 2 mins you still don’t get any momentum, just stop and take a 15 min break. that means you’re really too tired and there’s no point in forcing yourself to complete your work.

9. Use reminders

set reminders on your phone for the tasks you need to do. for example, if you’ve planned to start work at 1500, set the reminder to ring 5 minutes before so you have time to gather all your stuff and ready yourself to do work. no excuses!!

set reminders for your breaks as well! those are equally important.

10. Reward yourself

if everything you need to do is done, give yourself a pat on the back. have you been extremely productive? great, treat yourself to your favourite drink/snack. honestly i feel like many of our brains function on the ‘reward’ system. if we reward ourselves for a job well done, we’ll be more willing to complete tasks and stay on time in the future (the brain thinks there’s a reward coming)

remember to take care of your mental health as well! this is one good way to ensure you don’t end up mentally exhausted.

Apps to help with time management

1. Tide - focus timer, meditation, beautiful and calming soundtracks (my fav!)

2. Pendo - everything in one tbh, schedule, to-do list, journal etc. (my fav too!)

3. Forest - focus timer $$$ (free alternative: flora)

4. Donut Dog - focus timer

5. Todoist - minimalist to-do list

6. Minimalist - minimalist to-do list

7. Google Calender - your entire schedule

8. Todait - smart study planner

a quick search will bring out many more! note these are all available on iOS but i’m not sure about google play. you don’t need everything to be productive. i rely only on Tide, Pendo and my iPhone calender and reminders. It’s less about having many ‘tools’ and more about how you properly and wisely utilise them to boost your productivity and manage your time.

also i don't think pendo is very well-known?? so this is how its interface looks like for 'Notes':

it's pretty, simple and clean and there are several themes to choose from! i rly like it omg HAHA (not a promo)

alright that's all! hope it helped :>

[blookmallow]

and finally, the conclusion of the dark brotherhood questline 

i have been through so much and lost so much but i gained the one thing that matters most of all.....  cicero’s heart 

-----

well

these aren’t the real emperor’s clothes but i have this still,

i put it on the dawnstar sanctuary mannequin with the jester hat lmao

:( my favorite guard friend who hangs out around the shops in the mornings with me is onto me 

hes not hostile or reporting me to the jarl or anything at least tho 

Dont woRRY About It

i did have guards after me for a while (i had. several just go ‘ok ill let you off this time :)’ bc. i. asked nicely. after attempting to assassinate the emperor of skyrim) but eventually just paid my bounty and they were like ok you’re good and now apparently everyone has completely forgotten That Time I Tried To Murder The Fucking Emperor 

anyway after the fucking massacre that happened at the sanctuary i was absolutely Out For Blood

i mean like....... i realize maro is completely justified here. we are in fact a league of assassins guilty of murdering A Lot of people, we very much did make a real attempt on the emperor’s life (and killed his double, who was less important but still like, an innocent guy, presumably)(or even if it was like that death note thing where its actually a criminal on death row anyway, like, we clearly didnt know that) and i did personally murder maro’s son and ruin his reputation, so. like. we are the bad guys in this situation no matter how you look at it lmao but STILL THOSE WERE MY FRIENDS, FUCKER

so i decided to murder him out of pure spite, but. uh

I DONT REMEMBER WHAT I DID TO CAUSE THIS BUT I ACTUALLY GOT THE SOLITUDE GUARDS TO MURDER HIM FOR ME LMAO I DIDNT EVEN HAVE TO DO ANYTHING

im trying to remember what the fuck even happened here im clearly. underwater, i think maybe i like. confronted him and he got hostile but i jumped off the pier and the guards were like “woah that guy’s losing it” and intervened but he fought them too or something ??? ??  I DONT KNOW BUT THE GUARDS KILLED HIM FOR ME :’) thanks guys 

then after everything we still kept the contract, and... the new plan.... was for me to sneak onto the emperor’s ship before he leaves skyrim and kill him there.... WHICH I COULD HAVE FUCKING. DONE IN THE FIRST PLACE. THIS IS SO MUCH EASIER THAN... KILLING SOME OFFICIAL’S SON AND PLANTING FALSE EVIDENCE AND TRACKING DOWN THE GOURMET AND MURDERING HIM AND IMPERSONATING HIM TO TRY TO POISON THE EMPEROR AND IMPLICATING A RANDOM CHEF WHO HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT AND

EVERYONE IS DEAD!!!!! WE COULD HAVE AVOIDED ABSOLUTELY ALL OF THIS. WAS ASTRID GETTING ME ALL MIXED UP IN THIS WILD GOOSE CHASE ON PURPOSE FROM THE BEGINNING ?? ? ? SORRY!!! IM ANGRY

i got all the way here without anyone even seeing me (i used a couple invisibility potions for the really tricky spots, but still) i could absolutely have just done this and avoided the entire everything. god 

anyway i again dont really understand the politics of skyrim but. the real emperor was expecting me to find him one way or another. he had already accepted his death and made peace with it. it was. actually kind of sad. i dont know enough to say whether he was actually a decent guy or not but he seemed like he was. i couldnt bring myself to steal his clothes so i still just have the duplicate emperor’s clothes but it looks the same anyway

i took a war axe from one of his displays though. i dont remember if i already mentioned my ongoing tradition of always taking something from my victims and enchanting them later to mark who it belonged to, but thats a thing ive been doing. little murder scrapbook

im not really sure how murdering the emperor counts as “serving the empire” but sure ok 

i also killed this guy lmao the emperor’s last wish was for me to kill whoever it was that betrayed him and i dont like this dude in the first place so i was like yea you got it 

i built a memorial with the weapons rack in my room in the dawnstar sanctuary

enchanted special weapons for each of our fallen members (left to right it’s astrid, arnbjorn, festus, gabriella, and veezara) (i also later added another dagger for lis bc i had one space left) 

theres also gemstones on the floor beneath each weapon but they keep sliding out of place :’ | 

ANGEL DARLING SONG OF MY HEART LIGHT OF MY LIFE YOU’RE ALIVE

you can see the game autosaving in the corner bc i had Just come out of the sanctuary lmao thats how lightning fast i reacted to this 

[sobbing] baby boy.... baby.... i was SO WORRIED

i murdered the fucking emperor of skyrim bc i was so desperate to continue this questline to see if cicero would come back I DID ALL OF THIS FOR YOU.....

(he pranked me and pretended he was gonna kill me at first. i almost lost it thinking he STILL wouldnt forgive me but it was ok :’) u got me, ) 

sniffs...... best friends forever........ this is the best possible outcome this is all ive ever wanted it was all worth it for this 

we got our window back!!!!! also ft cicero subtitle photobombing me with his boundless enthusiasm for murder but i forgive him 

oof we also have... a bunch of torture victims hanging around now too :’ ) oh

i kinda feel bad about them but there doesnt seem to be an option to let them go, 

i mean i could just kill them all i guess. i killed one guy to see if i could. you Can. his body is still there. nobody seemed to care that i killed him

I TURNED AROUND AFTER NAZIR SAID THAT AND CICERO’S JUST. LOOKING AT ME LIKE THIS,

i fuckign love this cute little shit. what the fuck. this is such justice too everyone was so rude to him, everyone made fun of him and talked down to him, everyone wanted him dead after he went after astrid, but she sold us out and got everyone killed, he was RIGHT, and now hes the right-hand-man to the Listener who is now ALSO the leader of the brotherhood. he’s basically second in command to the entire organization now and nobody can do a goddamn thing about it bc they all KNOW not to fuck with me now 

i also realized hes taller than me and i dont like it, :’)

im still deciding medea’s taller than him anyway i dont care. she would be taller than the character model is allowing for

he likes to randomly start singing/humming really off key/dancing around its SO cute.... im lov him...............

darling..... calm down, :’) 

hes so completely devoted to me now im in pain

i realized i could tell him to go to sleep and he actually did it the absolute madman 

he gets up if you try to sleep beside him though

i mean. not that i tried that or anything

he stands SO close to me all the time.... i turn around and hes right there beaming adoringly at me. i cant do this 

he kept saying mother needed some flowers so i took him out to collect some nightshade for her n dropped them around her feet 

“whats the point of thievery lol like..... just kill them?????? stupid” 

having cicero constantly two feet behind me jus making cute comments and/or half singing The Weirdest Shit I Have Ever Heard is absolutely delightful 

ur so cute when you’re threatening people

he also hates the forsworn see we’re in sync

I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU ALONE AGAIN

me, the leader of the brotherhood, in full brotherhood armor, with cicero following right behind me giggling to himself about murder:

[driftinglightofthewoods]

🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️

Send me a “🖊+an OC“ and I will talk about that OC! It can be a headcanon, a fun fact, a small paragraph of backstory- anything!Alternatively, send in just a “🖊“ and I will talk about any one of my OCs at random!

You sendin’ 20 pencils? you gettin’ 20 ocs. You asked for this.

1. Sileves

I love Sileves, I love her big generous heart and how eagerly she accepts friends of her children and her husband as honorary family members. I wish I could talk more about her job as a healer because she takes such immense pride in it and she is what I would want any nurse or doctor to be; so caring and patient and kind.

2. Methenor

Methenor is a soft boi hidden under layers of icy indifference, sarcasm and dry etiquette and I love it. He cares for his family so much ;-; And like I feel incredibly bad for him because no wonder he’s cold as ice when pretty much his entire family left him in Rivendell; His parents sailed, his older sister is who knows where, his younger brother ran for Lothlorien and now his only son left him too.

3. Malgelir

Chirpy social butterfly with a small bit of a “ME FIRST” complex towards her siblings. Malgelir always wanted to get married and have a child, and the fact that she did so before her siblings does make her prouder than she probably should be. Thankfully this isnt out of pure malicious intent because I don’t think she ever had an evil thought in her life.

She also cares so much about her hubby and her son ;-; i cry

4. Rhoscthel

Fun fact I aint got a single clue about what goes into fashion design and yet here Rhoscthel is being a tailor. Send help. Plz. I’m making this up as I go and I just hope nobody notices I’m bluffing my way through anything that takes half a glance at her skill as a tailor.

I also wish I knew how people Actually Flirt TM because Rhos is supposed to be a charming she-elf with bargaining powers that could almost rival Caranthir’s but idk anything about either flirting or haggling. The woes of an introvert trying to play a socially savvy extrovert TM

5. Amathel

With Amathel I’ve been contemplating switching her social status of engaged to married but Amathel kind of has concerns and worries about the act of getting married so idk how to really.. change her status? Like should I just change it or drabble it or..

Like it’s not that she doesnt want to be married to Lagoron, she loves him very dearly, but there’s certain expectations that comes with having a wedding especially as a highly valued member of the Rivendell guard.

Idk I kinda want to dive more into the complex nature of her always wanting to be on top and number one in her class despite the fact that she has a lot of… performance anxiety, I guess you could call it?

She doesnt like to be put on the spot or even necessarily in the spotlight even though she has an ambitious drive and is always looking to improve as a guard.

6. Innith

With Innith I’m kinda having the opposite problem I do with Rhoscthel. I don’t get to use her much because she’s a shy, introverted scholar who would really only want to interact with coworkers and patrons of the library in Rivendell; and unfortunately there’s not a lot of those muses around.

this is very much me asking you to throw Pan at her sometimes I think they could be fun together plz

I’m also a bit sad the one ship I had for her has long since sailed away. F/F ships are so hard to come by.

7. Nethel

You would think I have a similar problem with Nethel like I do with Innith but since Nethel is such a drastically different character I actually dont find it hard to find interactions for her lol. People seem to be rather drawn to her even though she’s brutally blunt. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Nethel is a lot like Feanor just minus the genius linguistic part. 

Plus while Nethel is cooped up in her workshop most of the time she does need to come out and tend to her biological needs like eating, bathing, sleeping, much to her dismay as she has little patience for small talk.

Aside from that I think most of the muns I toss her at are aware that she’s a deeply insecure person under all that brutal facade, and people generally seem to have a little more patience with a character like that? like idk, just something I noticed. 

8. Miston

Honestly without Miston this blog wouldnt exist and I wouldn’t be here to gush about all my characters, so needless to say Miston is incredibly important to me. I feel like he has grown as a character a lot since the beginning of this blog but that he has also remained true to the description I give him in his about section. He is still a character who doesn’t like sharing his feelings and rather deflect them, ignore them entirely or distract you with conversations about literally anything else.

Miston is very near and dear to my heart.

9. Eredhon

Baby. Precious soft child. Eredhon is such a sweetheart and it’s truly thanks to a lot of brainstorming with @legolasgoldy that he has been crawling out of his shell because for quite a while I myself didnt even know all that much about Eredhon.

He is a soft, gentle soul with a lot of deep running emotions and his social anxiety can definitely play cruel tricks on him, but with the right support system he blossoms into a very sweet and devoted friend who will always try to help you through any emotional problems. He’s also a lot more emotionally intelligent than I originally gave him credit for. He’s usually paired with social butterflies (see Malgelir) because he does get those type of characters to kind of.. relent the walls they build around themselves and let him see the emotional struggles they tend to ignore

He’ll also never apologises for feeling his emotions. He’ll apologize for snapping, for raising his voice, for letting his anxiety drive him up a wall and for anything that deserves an apology, but he won’t apologize for feeling sad or anxious or happy or in need of comfort.

10. Calithilon

I’ve been thinking about aging canon Cali up to at least a talkative elfling because honestly because he is so young in canon I haven’t really gotten a chance to use him all that effectively in the main storyline.

Most of Cali’s development comes from modern aus with @hclliish where he’s a teen, dating her Sleipnir (another precious child, just not one of mine lol)Cali takes after his mom in looks and unfortunately for him after his dad in personality, making him a rather shy and quiet person with a lot of insecurities. Being born to two singers makes him a natural singer as well, and his voice is higher in tone than that of his father.

Despite being an anxious teen (because when is puberty ever kind) he does find a lot of comfort in his parents unconditional love for him. They’re a very solid parents-child unit tbh.

11. Lagoron

Another character that I don’t get to use all that much, which is unfortunate because I find Lagoron an incredibly funny and interesting character. He’s a very un-elvish elf, in fact he’s more a hobbit in an elven disguise. While also being a guard, he is an entirely different type than Amathel; where Amathel yearns to be the best and the strongest, Lagoron is a team player who believes in the strength of numbers and strong bonds between guards to drag them through the most difficult situations; and that hasn’t exactly made him the top performer of the class. 

He is however truly the kind of person you want on your team, and in a fight he’s surprisingly endurant and likely to exhaust his opponent by focusing on dodging their power attacks rather than wasting his energy in fighting back.

Always has food on him and will offer it to anyone he feels like stricking up a friendly conversation with. 10/10 good friend.

12. Hinnoron

Hinnoron is definitely more of the tradtional elf. He’s radiant, and ethereal, and pleasant to be around. He also has a natural calmness about him and a certain kind of wisdom. Y’know, typical Tolkien Elf TM stuff.

Hinnoron gets interesting when you dive into his deeper relationships. His relationship with his eldest sister is on a very low pit, and the one he has with Methenor has definitely taken some blows. When Gelwenil left to follow the stars, Methenor got rather clingy towards Hinnoron, who felt suffocated in return.

Hinnoron left for Lothlorien, and to this day regrets that he abandoned Methenor when Methenor was clearly struggling with the departure of their parents and their sister. While they have mended their bond since, this kind of guilt does seem to creep into his relationships with Haldir ( @thehiddenhero ) and Oropher ( @oropherrrrr ) He often doesn’t tell them when things about the relationship upset him and bottles his emotions up to an unhealthy degree, all because he fears of upsetting their feelings or even damaging the image they have of him if he’s not the perfect, ethereal and unconditionally supportive partner. For someone who gives love so easily and unconditionally, he seems to have a hard time believing that the love he receives doesn’t come with the condition that he has to be a perfect lover or it’ll be revoked.

Someone plz teach him that he’s allowed to have needs and that he’s allowed to have those needs tended to.

13. Gelwenil

Ah yes. The lost one. Well no, not lost, she knows exactly where she’s going but nobody else does. Gelwenil honestly never meant to upset Methenor or Hinnoron when she left to follow the stars. Like Methenor was definitely struggling when his parents left for Valinor, but in retrospect Gelwenil left several years after that. Maybe not enough for him to have healed and moved on, but I don’t blame her for thinking that with his wife, children and their youngest brother Methenor would have enough of a support net to justify her wanting to explore the skies.

Gelwenil is an avid believer in the power of Varda, and also deeply respects Tilion and Arien. Any type of celestial Maia can be expected to be treated with the deepest respect from her.

Out of all my characters Gelwenil deserves the most TLC tbh I feel like she’s underdeveloped compared to everyone else because I dont use her a lot.

14. Faerveren

Uuuugh I miss Faerveren so much. Mistons second cousin twice removed, and probably the only person to ever leave him flabbergasted and when Miston is the voice of reason in a duo, you know somethings up.

Faerveren is also an interesting character because with her I wanted to present the idea of people assuming you’re always emotionally fine as long as you’re physically strong enough to be virtually invincible.

15. Nengelon

Local edition of the “I’m so fucking done with this shit I don’t get paid enough to deal with” club, together with Feren and Lindir. Nengelon tends to fall into an elven variety of Welsh when he runs upset with the leader of the Sabaid elves, and just about no one knows what he’s saying.

There’s also the implication that he basically ran away from the Riunnag (waterelves, maybe related to the Teleri through distant blood but sources (ie me) dont confirm that yet so its just rumors) tribe he belonged to because of his secret romantic ties to said leader, but Nengelon doesn’t speak of his romantic outings to anyone so it’s just a rumor.

16. Braigon

Ah, big, bulky, burly, 7 foot something Sabaid leader Braigon. Rides a grizzly bear as a warmount, wields a gigantic twohanded battle axe, and is an absolute terror on the battlefield… when he bothers to get his tribe of warrior travelers involved. Braigon tends to stroll around like he owns the place, because not many dare to defy this mountain of an elf.

Maybe thats why people are so bewildered when 5′9 sized Nengelon curses him out on his bullshit in some incomprehensible tongue they don’t know.

Braigon is actually a pretty solid leader of a tribe where elves can pretty much do as they please as long as they do their job as either warrior or provider (finding food and other supplies) outstandingly. The Sabaids aren’t a big tribe, there’s only a couple hundred of them, but they make for fantastic allies… but only if you can manage to convince Braigon to risk any of his people in any given war; and he usually isn’t concerned with fighting the battles of others for them without a good reason. 

 17. Bereneth

Bereneth is an interesting case. An accident between a Sinda lady and a Noldo refugee, at a time when those relationships weren’t exactly accepted after the reign of destruction left by the line of Finwe. (I like to believe thats something that took a generation or two for elves to get over dont @ me.)

Because of this, Bereneth was relentlessly bullied to the point where as soon as the oppertunity rose, her mother left for then newly settled Rivendell. Being under the rule of Elrond, she figured her daughter would be safe there. Bereneth remained there and bore three children to Carandolon and sailed to Valinor when their daughter in law was pregnant with her first child

18. Carandolon

Chieftain of a squadron while Greenwood was under the rule of Oropher, Carandolon was a bright eyed and wanderlust filled soul, born to two fullblooded Silvan elves. When on a mission to Rivendell, where he had to accompany a diplomat, he saw Bereneth and for him it was love at first sight.

When the mission was over and he returned to Greenwood, he immediately requested to be dismissed from his chieftain status and to be allowed to move and live to Rivendell.

A reckless and bold move, and it did take him a while to woo Bereneth, but they ultimately fell in love, got married, and had three children. He sailed with his wife when their daughter in law was pregnant with her first child

19. Nemiron

The missing link that connects Miston to the line of Finwe. Nemiron is the bastard son of Írimë and an unknown father of Vanyarin descent. Nemiron lost complete vision in his right eye when the healer tent he worked at got raided by the enemy in that war; and he threw himself as a shield between the blade and the wounded soldier it was aiming for.

During the war, he was usually found in the company of either Finrod or Edrahil, as he needed help to adjust to his new lack of depth perception. Sometimes during that same war, he left to settle in Lothlorien, where he met the weaver apprentice Dillothés. They married and moved to Rivendell as a position for an experienced healer was open there, and they had their family there.

Nemiron remained in Rivendell, despite yearning to sail, for the sake of his only daughter, and he ultimately sailed for Valinor when she was pregnant with her third child.

I havent decided if the power of Valinor heals Nemiron’s injury, but if it does (and I doubt it), it would do so only partially. His right eye will never be 100% functional.

20. Dillothés

The third and last born daughter of her parents, Dillothés worked as a weaver’s apprentice in Lothlorien before moving up to becoming a weaver of her own, selling her selfmade fabrics to tailors and others interested and making a comfortable living out of it

She became infatuated with Nemiron, who was often found in the library studying Lothlorien native herbs to aid in his small healer practice. After she learned of his injury she never backed away from him once, and helps and supports him to the best of her ability. This remains the case when they went to Valinor and whether or not he partially heals from his injury

[fightevilandthengetblownup]

Chat: Jo + Gray romcoms

(for lexy)

Jo> She likes pointless fluff movies. I’m being told I have to watch Friends With Benefits next after I finish the last 20 mins of the first half of this series

Jo> :l

Jo> *actually doesnt mind that movie just finds it hysterical Jo does*

Grey> Is Friends with Benefits the one with Mila Kunis?

Jo> Yep

Grey> Who’s the male lead in that?

Jo> Justin Timberlake

Grey> Ah

Jo> It’s kind of hilarious that Jo likes that movie

Grey> Because of how she is about relationships?

Jo> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_CVAI_twO0 and then http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XA6M-V4oHso first 20 seconds just… kind of amazingly hilarious.

Jo> She’s somewhere between or actually boh main characters at once

Jo> (Also the Train in the background of the first cracks me up)

Grey> TRAIN IN THE BACKGROUND LOL

Jo> Yeeeep

Grey> You linked me the sex scene? LOL *signs in*

Jo> Its the end of the crappy romcom movie that the girl wanted to watch and the guy spent the entire time paying out.

Jo> LOL

Jo> Yes

Jo> Because

Jo> First 20 seconds is magic

Jo> …hell the entire thing is magic

Jo> And hilariously like if Jo were a guy and a girl at the same time

Jo> honest to god

Grey> “I sneeze sometimes after I come” *drink everywhere*

Jo> Wait for it

Grey> HES SINGING

Jo> LOL

Grey> “WHOA TOO FAR”

Jo> “When women start to scream it can me misconstrued”

Grey> *dead*

Grey> So much for just once

Jo> LOL Yeeeep.

Jo> Can you see kind of where I get my amusement from?

Grey> Yep

Jo> “Grab my hair.” “Kiss my neck”

Grey> *dies at butt part*

Jo> *nodnod*

Grey> Oh my god

Grey> Oh man mom walking in at the end

Jo> Lol yep

Jo> I find so much fucking amusement from that movie and the fact it’s number 3 on Jo’s fave ‘romcom’s

Grey> What are the first two?

Jo> Pretty Woman and Miss Congeniality

Grey> Awwwww Miss Congeniality. "So her top favorites are about a hooker finding a sugar daddy, a tomboy becoming a barbie doll and two friends fucking?“ Gray that’s not… no.

Jo> "Got a problem with that?” Gray. Darling. No… …though he has a point but no…

Grey> “Other than your taste in movies is shit. No.” He’s got the air of implying about him.

Jo> “…I’m just glad it was top three then, I’m sure you’d find the next two just as shit…” Jo is well aware the implication and I am snickering my head off

Grey> “And what are those, Legally Blonde and The House Bunny?” *pets her*

Jo> “…no. Clueless and a tie between 500 Days of Summer and Runaway Bride….

Jo> ” She knows how bad those are, but theyre better than Legally Blonde and House Bunny at least. (What’s Your Number, Stardust, Legally Blonde, You’ve Got Mail and Sleepless In Seattle round out the top ten though)

Grey> “*snickering*” Yeah. The House Bunny is shit but Legally Blonde isn’t bad imo. It’s got Matt Davis in it for one so…

Jo> “…oh go ahead. Say it.” Lol yeah House Bunny is. Legally Blonde’s pretty alright - the second is dreadful though.

Grey> “Say what that you have horrible picks and clearly just want some guy to swoop in a rescue you?” Second one doesnt exist in my mind. Because I like the first one too much to admit it.

Jo> “You just don’t like romantic comedies and most of those involve free thinking, independent women who can survive all on their own without a man…sorta.” LOL I cried my way through it. In pain.

Grey> “Except they all end up with a guy and the whole plot of them is either "fucks a dude and keeps fucking him” or “discovers she’s ladylike after all”.“ I saw it on tv once, attempted to watch then switched the channel 5 minutes in because it was hurting

Jo> "Pretty Woman is about how you aren’t just your job - that there is more to a person than just that; Miss Congeniality is about doing the right thing, and that everyone can be more than what their intial appearance might suggest; FoB is about how… sometimes worrying about the labels of things can ruin something that’s working and that …getting over that shit’s for the best…” It’s dreadful..

Grey> “Uh huh.” Yeah I dont know what charm the first one has that the second one is missing but you can definitely tell it’s missing it. Same with Miss Congeniality, first movie is cute second movie makes you want to tear out your eyes

Jo> (Oh god, I just realised the girl in Friends with Benefits at the start is going to go see Pretty Woman at the cinema as some romcom weeklong thing and her then bf dumps her out front and she’s already missed the boots)

Grey> *DEAD*

Jo> “…shut up, alright. God, a girl is allowed to like pointless fluff sometimes!” LOL So so true. The same goes for Bring It On. *crying at this movie again now*

Jo> (“You know I love this movie! If a prostitute and a ruthless businessman who fall in love, then anyone can. *wistful sigh/tone*” *dying*)

Grey> “I would think you get enough of that with the runt.” Oh my god that’s hilarious

Jo> “…I think your brother knows better than to..freak me out with that sort of thing. Reality, fiction, don’t cross the streams..much.” I know. I forgot it and now Im dead.

Grey> “So he’s not constantly trying to bring you flowers or jewelry or anyt of that other crap? I’m surprised he has so much restraint.” No wonder Jo likes the movie

Jo> “No, he’s not. Seems you don’t know him quite as well as you think…” Oh yeah. … http://youtu.be/GvBNVJjhj4Q?t=11s Just… start o the film is pretty much this. And yep. It totally does.

Grey> “Or he doesn’t like you as much as he says he does.” I feel bad for Justin’s character cause that bitch crazy

Grey> “Next time just shit on my face cause that’s the same thing” no it isnt lady

Jo> Wait for the explanation of Mila’s character

Grey> WOW Andy’s a dick

Jo> LOL Yuuuuup

Grey> *spit take at Justin*

Jo> Just wait

Jo> It gets more

Grey> *DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD*

Jo> “Or maybe he likes me as much as he says he does and doesn’t want me to feel uncomfortable or pressured and is making sure I’m okay with things.” I KNOW RIGHT?! AND THATS JUST THE FIRST THREE MINUTES OF THE MOVIE

Grey> “If he liked you as much as he said, he’d get you flowers. Because that’s what Grey does, flowers and chocolate and bubble baths with candles and rose petals and all the other lame shit because that’s what he does, he does the lame "romantic” crap and he likes doing that. So he either doesnt actually care that much or he’s completely terrified of you and is too scared to even approach the matter"

Grey> That’s hilarious

Grey> Especially Justin’s just completely lunatic of the girlfriend. Like Mina’s guy was just lazy and a jerk but Justin’s girl was fucking monkeynuts crazy

Jo> “He would not - he might want to, but right now? He wouldn’t. I prefer non-materialistic things anyway so…” I know. She’s amazing. She keeps calling too. I seriously recommend it if you have a few hours to spare or fill or are bored sometime because that movie is just great. Better than No Strings (the Portman/Kutcher one)

Grey> “If he wouldnt its because you’re scaring him. But hey if you’re cool with him being too scared to say what he wants then….” It does look a lot funnier than Natalie’s

Jo> “I am not /scaring/ him. He knows he can say whatever he likes to me or bring up stuff…. …” It is. I’ve seen both several times, Friends With is much better. The original Coke to Nat’s new.

Grey> “Sure he does. That’s why he didn’t tell you he loved you for the longest time. Because he’s totally not afraid to talk to you.” I feel like I should just watch both then Black Swan to mindfuck myself but I can’t right now lol

Jo> “He does, and… that’s none of your business, and it wasn’t 'the longest time’, was barely three months after..” LOL Oh god that would be dreadful.

Grey> “Uh huh. And he hasnt really said it again has he?” Yep it would

Jo> “He has too. …a few times.” Brainfuck indeed.

Grey> “And I bet you know exactly how many because it doesnt happen a lot.” Completely

Jo> “…your point being? People don’t have to say they love one another all the time, I’m sure you could count on one hand the number of times you’ve said it.”

Grey> “Because I’m a arrogant asshole monster who doesn’t really give two shits to get emotional about things. Does that sound like Grey to you?”

Jo> “…no. Sounds a little like me though, so instead - how often has Anna said it to you, huh? Just because he doesn’t say it often doesn’t mean he doesn’t know he can ask about things or talk about stuff.”

Grey> “More than five times less than twenty. He’s stupid though, how would you know he knew he could ask if he doesnt feel like he could say it? Doesnt matter now I guess with that collar on you he’ll be too freaked out to do much of anything”

Jo> “..Oh. ….Because he knows me? Because neither of us is going to judge or fly off the handle? Because I haven’t gone running yet? ….shut up, fuck you.”

Grey> “If he knows you he knows that your terrified of getting attached and won’t bring it up for fear of driving you away. I’m just stating facts.”

Jo> “Otherwise known as caring and respecting a loved ones boundaries. And you say that like we’re not attached, because we are, so shove off. …you’re being a dick with the truth.”

Grey> “Otherwise known as being spineless. Wait until he wants to get married then see how attached you are. Better than just being a dick right?”

Jo> “There’s a difference - one is being respectful, the other has no basis other than fear for it. …. ………. Let’s not talk about that, ever, again. Oh shut up..”

Grey> “So how do you know he’s doing it out of respect instead of fear? Just wait.”

Jo> “Because, I just do. …And I said again…”

Grey> “Uh huh. You’re going to run when you see that little box.”

Jo> “…. ….I’m not going to run..” Mental commentary: “I’m going to politely say I need time to think, excuse myself and go hide under the covers. The fastest will be a brisk walk. Yes. No running. It’d be fine.”

Grey> “Yes you are. Watching him bend his knee and go into his pocket for it is just going to scare you so badly you’re going to take off running like a scared deer.” Awwww poor Jo

Jo> “No. I’m… I have more restraint than that even if that /isn’t/ my response.” Think she’d feel bad for it but..unless she suggests it she’ll probably freak.

Grey> “You’re right, cause he’s probably going to do it in public. You wouldnt want to make a scene. All those eyes on you expecting to say yes especially his when he looks so happy and expectant.” He wouldnt ask. I mean like… probably never unless they actually had a kid. Because he knows it wouldnt work

Jo> ( http://youtu.be/VIirTZQWJBg?t=30s *crying* Guess Jo has a penis where her vaginas supposed to be)

Grey> (SO DEAD. Oh Woody Harrelson you are always hilarious)

Jo> “…shut up. How do you know the answer would be no? Or that I wouldn’t be the one askin’? Everyone’s always calling me the boy of us…” Cue gray laughing head off. And yeah, no - I’d figured he probably wouldn’t, what’s sad is a marriage would work but proposing the idea wouldnt. (IKR? He’s a gay sports writer)

Grey> “Because you don’t do commitment? You… ask him… *laughing*” *nods* He’d figure they couldnt therefore wouldnt ask unless its a kid in which case he’d feel like “this is a family now” and ask. (He’s hilarious. I lost it)

Jo> “I do sometimes. …. *tries not to laugh as well* Yeah, okay shut up..” Yep - which I think he might be able to get a yes if he didn’t say it was cause she was preg or had had a baby, mde the family comment instead. (LOL Yeeep)

Grey> “Fine. That was funny enough I’ll shut up. *still laughing*” *nods* I think his approach would be something like “I’d like for us to be a family. And I want to be officially part of that family.” Plus that way if something happens to Jo the kids stay with him. (Armpit girl? Do I even want to know…)

Jo> ( http://youtu.be/GJucbfuvh-A armpit girl)

Grey> (Oh Justin baby what is it with you and crazy broads)

Jo> “Glad you enjoyed it… *fails at holding back a giggle* Okay seriously, I’m not that bad.. or I’m not the worst, so shuddup.” Yeah, that would actually probably work. (Yeeeep)

Grey> “Not the worst? Right okay compared to like me or something.” And of course Grey would have the sense enough not to try to make a big affair of it, nor would he want to

Jo> “There are worse people out there without going straight to you, Gray.” Yep yep - big affair woul get a no.

Jo> (Oh god, I forgot the guy in this has a stutter when he was nervous)

Grey> “*indignantly* Are not. I’m the worst. End of discussion.” *slaps Gray for wanting to look like the horrible monster again* I think the closest he’d come to that was asking if she wanted her mother there or any close friends. (So dead)

Jo> “Sure thing, I just meant there were people between the two of us on the worse scale is all.” *snickers at him* lol true true. Knowing Jo she’d not want much, or until after. (Yeeep)

Grey> “Nope. You’re close enough to me there’s no one left between us.” *nods* Jesse go to bed jo harvelle gray chat complete Aug 21st, 2012

[missjackil]

Miss Jacki’s Top 30 Favorite Episodes

#6

All Hell Breaks Loose pts 1&2

I believe these are landmark episodes for every SPN fan. Im going to treat this like one episode because it really seems like one single episode. 

A little back history, I came to this show late, it was already in S11 when I started binging fron the beginning. It was by the request of my friend, who had tod me a few times that she thought Id love the show, and I didnt believe her. fanatasy/horror/super hero shows are not my genre. I like dramas like NCIS and House MD but this? This is kid stuff.... not my thing. But I took her advice and watched. She made me promise to watch the first 2 seasons and if I still didnt like it by the end of S2, we could move on. So I did.  I didnt think seasons 1 and 2 sucked, I liked Sam Dean and John a lot but, the monsters, acting, and overall story was meh IMO. S2 was better, at least one or two more episodes from then made it to my top 30, but this one sealed my fate. I had heard a lot about this amazing, unmatchable chemistry these two had, but I wasnt really feeling the love. They fought constantly, Dean seemed too clingy and Sam seemed to not want to be with him much at all. and I wasnt really seeing this epic bromance I had been told about. And then All Hell Broke Loose! Sam mysteriosuly gets zapped away to demon camp, and Dean is desperate to find him. Sam’s side of the episode is very interesting, we are really seeing his leadership skills in action, and how he can be totally freaked out and not let it show. Jake, was such a good character, Im still upset he didnt stay around for a while, even as a bad guy. 

Of course, the most important part of these episodes is that Sam is killed, and Dean’s brokeness and despiration. Im very shocked at first that Sam actually dies. I had thought since the show was in its 11th season at the time, that Sam and Dean cant/don’t die ever, so I never really had much concern for their well being. I learned they could be beat to hell and next episode they’re shiney and pretty as new, and if they’re still on the air, they obviously cant die right? And in a sense its true that they cant die, or stay dead, they still somehow manage to make their deaths very traumatizing. I learned here, that its not so much that one brother died, its more about the reaction of the other. Sam and Dean never know its not final. We may know, but they dont. 

Jake and Sam have this big fight. Jake  is strong af but Sam manages to hold his own. This solidifies the notion I had, that even though Dean is the agressive one, and much faster to punch or kill, Sam Winchester is NOT a wimp. not a “damsel”. He is also strong af, a damn good fighter and has a very high pain threshold. He knocks the super charged “benched 800 lbs stone cold calm” Jake out cold. Almost kills him, but decides against it.... he wont make that mistake again eh? Walking away with apparently a broken shoulder, or arm, he hears Dean and sees him in the distance. DEAN!!! Sam smiles and releif washes over him, Dean isnt dead!! But right in front of Dean, Jake comes in from behind and stabs Sam in the back, and slices.... and severs Sams spinal cord WTF?? This scene is etched in every fans mind forever. Jensens acting here is nothing short of oscar worthy, but lets take a minute to appreciate Jared’s also. He doesnt have a speaking part right here, but he is truly portraying someone with a severed spinal cord. He falls to his knees to be imediately caught by Dean. He cant hold his head up, lift his arms, or even keep his eyes straight.He cant talk or even gasp for breath. Dean knows but is in complete denial. He’s gonna fix it, thats his job!! Take care of his pain in the ass little brother!! Deans shock and denial, along with his honest helpless greif, destroys me! The way he holds Sam and screams his name... and then burries his face in Sams hair and cries. I just cant! Next, we see that Dean has carried Sam’s body to an abandoned shack, and laid him on a mattress. Dean has laid Sams hands on his stomach like he’s resting. For a day or more, Im not sure, Dean stands there and stares at his dead little brother. He refuses to bury or burn him. Bobby doesnt want to leave him alone, he obviously cant handle this situation, but Dean has no shits to give. The person he loves most in the world is gone. Screw everything else.  Dean starts talking to dead Sam and this is heart wrenching. These 2 episodes change everything as far as their brotherly relationship goes. Its no longer just close, and deep its psychotic, irrational, dangerous, and the most beautiful thing ever! Dean doesnt know what to do. This is the absolute worst part of losing someone you love. The next step, what do you do? How can you even begin to try to continue to live?  Dean is beyond desperate. He goes and sells his soul to bring Sam back. And he doesnt get 10 years or even 5, he gets 1 year. 1 year and then he’s damned to eternal torment in hell. They cant try to break the contract or Sam dies again. A terrible trade off, but Dean takes it. When he sees Sam standing there in the room, alive, he gives him such a great hug!! This begins my obsession for brohugs!! Fast forward to the cemetery scene. A lot is going on here, Azazel is griefing them, Jake opens the hell gates (though the boys are blamed for this forever) Azazel asks Dean is Sam is REALLY the same old Sam?? We all wonder if Sam is ok when he stone cold shoots Jake repeatedly, with that one little blood drop on his face. Overall, Sam seems like Sam, but we at least know hes a little more killy now lol.  We get a bonus reunion with John, he touches Deans shoulder, gives him a tearfilled smile, and looks at Sam. For a long time, I was a little bit bitter that John didnt show any affection to Sam, but then I realized, or maybe its just a head canon, but John may have known that Dean sold his soul for Sam, and Joh was silently telling Dean he understood. John sold his soul for Dean, so he was like “The things we’ll do for love, right son?” John did some crappy things, but no one will ever convince me that he didnt love those boys with all his heart.  Sam figures out that Dean sold his soul for him, and hes pissed. But he finally comes out with what I needed to know for 2 seasons “Youre my brother... theres NOTHING I wouldnt do for you”. Yes... Sam is just as irrational, psychotic, and dangerously in love with Dean.And with that.... I was sold on SPN. I dont regularly go back to watch these episodes, but when I do, it still tears me up. Even moreso now that so much has happened because of it.  Sometimes, something big happens on the show and the negative people say that it makes this, or Deans trip to Hell, or Swan Song lose meaning, and it truly doesnt. It makes those things have more meaning. Everything that unfolded after those events up till now makes them more critical and adds the question “if they had known, would they still?” And knowing the answer would be “yes” just makes it all that much more brutally wonderful,  Now, go watch these episodes again, keeping in mind everything that transpired from it, and when Dean sobs at losing his little bro for the first time, allow your heart to break more for the big picture. 

[tumblunni]

Headcanons about maddiman's wife:

* name: Joy Nocturne

* her personality is like your classic 'overbearing wife' or 'loud woman' except its not a bad thing and i hate how its always stereotyped as a bad thing. She's confident and outspoken and badass and these are all the things that made Madds fall in love with her. Its also the things that makes everyone else think she's 'such a nag' and start rumours that their marriage is on the rocks, because he 'must be so whipped', etc. And back when they met in highschool everone thought she was a 'typical american thug' who was 'being a bad influence to that poor honor student'. Basically she's used to people hating her personality and she was already secretly doubting whether her husband also found her annoying/bossy/unattractive cos of this. Like she's usually able to be confident in the face of hate from strangers but as she grew to love this man she felt her old insecurities coming back. They were both having trouble talking about their feelings and worrying that their spouse didnt love them...

* oh and BIGGEST HEADCANON: she very much loved him and there was no villain of this story, just a sad tale of two people falling apart due to miscommunication. I think its infinately sadder if they were total soulmates and never stopped loving each other even after this tragic falling out. I feel like Joy just had to make the decision that was right for her son when her husband was never around to be part of his life. And with the way maddiman acted she had every reason to feel like he'd stopped loving her...she didnt leave because she hated him but because she didnt know why he was so distant and thought he hated her...

* She never remarried. She did manage to live a full life and raise their son to be an upstanding human being, but she never forgot about madds and never found anyone she loved more than him.

* She was actually there when he died. The point where he passed out midway through writing a diary entry wasnt actually the exact moment he died, his coworkers found his comatose body and rushed him into surgery. He was on life support for a few days befofe he faded away, having never woken up. Joy rushed over on the fastest flight possible to get to see him before it was too late, but she only managed to arrive in time to see his yokai self emerging and vanishing into the ether. This phantasm haunted her for the rest of her life and she sorta inherited his fatal yokai obsession, in hopes that what she saw was real...

* after her son died at just 17, she became even more tied to the desperate hope of her husband's old fairytales. Ultimately though, she was never able to find him. She actually could have walked straight past him and not been able to see him. And madds wouldnt have recognised her, only wondered why something in his heart says that this particular trespasser in the haunted hospital should be guided to the exit without harm.

* they first met in high school, oddly enough due to maddiman's dad being a massive asshole. Nogut always pressured his son to be perfect and live out all his dreams for him, blablabla, gotta get to the best schools and never get a single bad grade. Joy and madds werent in the same class so they hadnt talked much, and she only recently transferred anyway. But one day Nogut was in school for a parent teacher conference and he was being his usual pissy entitled self, blah blah im too important to be here and my son is the cause of all my problems somehow. So he got uhh.. "Distracted". Aka being an absolute fuckin creeper to underage highschool girls! Thus the day Joy first became friends with maddiman was also the day she became mortal enemies with his dad by kicking him in the balls. And shortly afterwards she bumped into maddiman who was hyperventilating in the same closet she coincidentally picked while hiding from Groinally Harmed Anger Dad. He was having a panic attack from the general stress of his dad being here, and she helped support him through it which became a really valued memory of his, and why he sees her as his hero. Well, that and shortly after when she was like 'lol i just met this total creeper and kneed him in the nads' 'THATS MY DAD' 'geez sorry dude' 'NO THATS AMAZING'

* she also helped him pull off his ultimate escape from trash dad. They had a plan in place for a long time that as soon as he turned 18 they were getting on a motorbike and riding off to Anywhere But Here. But he didnt expect her to literally bring a birthday cake and throw it in his dad's face! And then that was the beginning of their relationship. Madds had totally been crushing on her for quite a while but never knew how to confess, until the sheer awesomeness of that moment made him accidentally squeak it out while they were riding for their lives from an angry old man.

* oh and also there were probably a lot of funny cute clueless moments where it kept going over joy's head that he had a crush on her? I was thinking of a cute idea for a valentines day flashback where maddiman was too shy to give her a box of chocolates and she comes along like "man i didnt get any chocolates im glad you managed to get some!" "U-uhh no i umm..wanted to give them to someone but i...didnt." "Oh that sucks dude! At least now you can eat them all to yourself to help forget that girl. Lemme sneak one, tho!" And thus he ended up sharing the box of chocolates with the perosn he wanted to, even if she had no idea. And it was a very good day!

* also i think considering the pattern of him bottling up his feelings and running from relationship problems, it seems likely that he ran from the altar on his wedding day. But it was also one of the only times ever that that happened and it wasnt super sad. As he does, he got all worked up into a mess of anxiety and convinced he knew the only answer- the stupidest and most reckless answer! So even though he loved this woman he was so scared that he'd be a bad husband that he tried to jump out the window at the last second without even once trying to actually talk to her about any of this. But this time she did manage to find him! All the friends and family were like 'ugh leave him, he doesnt love you', but she knew there had to be more to it so she ran out in the rain in her wedding dress and searched for miles until she found him sobbing in a public bathroom. They managed to talk it out and get to the bottom of his feelings and actually resolved something for once, and it all went okay. It kinda helped that seeing her turn up all bedraggled in the wreckage of the dress she loved so much, bleeding from her tight heels and fighting off several biker gangs along the way helped convince him that "hey maybe she thinks i'm worth fighting for, so i should try and believe her". So yeah then she swept him off his feet and they danced all night as everyone else in the church was all "ugh she looks awful" and "why would she take him back", but the moment was so magical that they just didnt care. And thats how the biggest failure of a wedding was also the happiest day of their lives! (..though sadly the same doubts and communication difficulties would come up again and not be resolved so easily...)

* i keep flip flopping on what career i want to give her, but at the moment im thinking possibly owns a lil bakery/coffee shop type place? Madds is one of those people who cant stand the bitterness of tea/coffee and prefers caffinated sodas instead, but he used to drink strong coffee every day back when he was human just because his wife made it. He loved all the rest of her cooking so itd be cruel to say no! Its a lil detail that i figured would be cute but also foreshadow how he'd meet his tragic end, as it shows he's capable of bottling up his feelings for years even when talking would be so much easier. Also probably a comedic note that he's coming up with nonsensical mad science techniques to make himself able to drink coffee! "Shall i genetically modify my tastebuds or create an undetectable translucent plastic armour plate for my tongue?"

* also maybe she could make cinnamon rolls shaped like madds's doofy cyclops head when they reunite in the future. Just because i want to eat that.

[theroastedpoosqueery-blog]

On johann and tenma dynamic or something

((@jyuanka so yea i wanted to bounce back on what you were saying but its so long i figured i should make a new post lmao ))

There are so many interesting characters in monster (eva being maybe the first one), but the dynamic between tenma and johann is really whats does the deal for me. Their relationship is what builds the plot, like two poles of a battery that supports the entire story ! and they only met four times !! i love that its so unclear why both of them are so intent on having the other in their line of sight, like their obsession with each other is never really explained and we can only have so many speculations. Since its monster, it cant be something like ‘good tenma absolutely want to destroy johann for world peace”/ “evil johann absolutely want to destroy tenma because hes…evil”.

(you said  you wanted to yell about monster so uh im taking advantage of it lol)

For tenma, we first think that all of this it is to prove his innocence. But the narrative voice shows us several times that this is not the case (grimmer who tells him that he should not go so far just to get his name cleared -> close-up on tenma’s face that darkens and tenma who doesnt answer = tenma does not do that to prove his innocence, theres something else). And frankly who would go that far just for that? Tenma realizes very quickly that destroying johan is,,,more than complicated and that he could lost his life at any point. He could go to a remote part of another continent and rebuild a career as a doctor there, under a new identity, if he wanted to (maybe johann wouldnt let him, but the obsession johann has for tenma is something that the latter understood at the end so he wouldnt know that at the beginning of the series). Nor is it because he has a savior syndrome and he absolutely wants to protect people (orrr well a little lol), because tenma doesnt seem to be interested in politics or in social justice at the beginning of the series. What i mean is that, like everyone, he knows that the world is unfair and that folks are dying because of horrible situations and horrible people (idk like because of the mafia, because of capitalists, because of fascists, because of human trafficking, etc). Like, everyone knows that, and some of us react and actually do things like direct actions, lobbies, associations, politics, or even just talk about it. But Tenma really doesnt seem to be that moved or concerned, hes more the type to be like “whatever. Dont see ? hasnt happened”. Yet when he realizes that its johan who does these things, suddenly it becomes his personal business. Like people always say tenma is the “absolute good” and i really, really disagree.

He has spent his life obeying orders from despotic leaders without ever questioning himself once. He was going to marry a girl who told him that all lives are not equal, ffs! yea she says this when tenma began to think that maybe, maybe, theres something wrong with all this so this sentence shocked him. But you cant tell me that the highly horrible personality of eva is something he wasnt aware of before ! and he was alright with that, because then by marrying her he would secure a brilliant career. He saves a rich person instead of a poor turkish husband, and he have to see his crying widow who tries to punch him to realize that maybe what he did wasnt really okay. And he was past his thirties, so its not a question of “the poor baby didnt knew there was inequality in the world and what he was doing was not nice ! “. He knew, and he chose again and again, for most of his life, to please a corrupt man to promote his career and have a good and safe life. So for me tenma is so, so problematic ! Because Tenma is the sort of man who sees what is wrong, but who chooses not to do anything against it. isnt this kind of people the worst ?? and thats why i love him ! and thats why his radical evolution caused by johann (when he saves the boy, then when he chooses to kill him), is so intriguing.

So yea tenma dont want to destroy johann just so people will be safe or for world peace or wtv  BS -because he spent most of his life not caring about that, or caring but not to the point of getting personally involved. I think little johann is what triggers tenma to do something for the first time of his life. He goes from the guy who sees what is wrong but who doesnt feel like he can react so he just goes with the flow and become as horrible as everyone else, making him worse because he knows thats wrong -> to the guy who chooses, to the guy with an agency who decides to react. Little johan makes tenma becoming a person, its his trigger to personhood. And thats why, after his first encounter with johann, tenma become so different. Imo, the real monster is tenma in the beginning of the series - and johann makes him someone who uses his agency, he renders him human !

So 9 years later, when tenma finds out that the trigger of his humanity is actually the very negation of what is human, it goes ‘bam’ in his brain. We can understand why ! During this 9 years, he had the time to inhabit his new role of “a person with an agency” - he seems so calm, so confident and happy. Hes not the guy who knew that everything was wrong but just followed orders and closed his eyes anymore, he has a personhood and uses his newfound humanity to make the world a better place. He has a sense of purpose and realizes what it is that life is worth living (okay im projecting here lmao). Above all, he thinks that the choice he made (to become a person) is ultimately absolutely good. But then he meet johan for a second time, and actually realizes -wait, so me becoming a person can causes bad things ? was i wrong ? should i have stayed how i was before ?

And then we enter what is the core of Monster : we just follow someone who struggles to define what is being human. Before, like i said, tenma wasnt using his personhood. After johann triggers him to become a person, he basically lives a morally ideal life -save people, be a good person, no headaches of ‘what should i do’. The people who could have forced him to make actual difficult choices (his corrupt chief ) were conveniently dead. Then he met adult-johan, and bam ! so many contradictions. suddenly the answer is not that clear anymore. Then he realizes than with personhood comes the obligation to make dubious moral choices. Because for each choice we make, there are negatives consequences and positives ones, and we have to judge when the positives outcomes prevails on the negatives ones without ever being sure. And i think tenma chasing johan is him refusing this existing situation, is him trying to run away from the negatives consequences of becoming a person. Its him on a quest to know if getting access to personhood is absolutely good, a quest to know if his reason of living is legitimate. He cant think that there are not absolutely good choice, that sometimes the good choice can be to kill someone - or to save them, depending on the situation. There isnt absolute anymore : no real monsters, no real good person. We’re just human who struggles to do what we can. Once you have an agency, you have to take decisions. So for tenma, who basically have never taken decisions to construct himself as a person, his johann-hunting is basically that : hes chasing after his own definition of humanity. Whether he would have choose to kill johan or not, at the end, the manga completed the mission : theres no good choice, only choice you think are the best at one point. If he had chosen to kill johan, he would have chosen to kill someone ; if he had chosen to not kill him, he would have chosen to let someone else die. Whats better ? I am not sure. Personally, i think that if i could kill certain people i would do it, while knowing that this people are humans like me, just raised in different circumstances, because my ideas and my buddies’ lives are worth more than the life of the ones who threatens us : thats my answer of humanity. We alas dont get to see tenma’s answer… but anw. Thats my personal interpretation of what johann makes tenma do lol.

For Johann, the reason for his obsession with tenma is even less clear for me. Why johann wants tenma to understand him, to see him, so badly ? What makes tenma so special ? Johan seems to have a daddy complex, because tenma not the first middle-age man to have the dubious pleasure to be the object of johan desire to show “his” world to someone else. General wolf and schuwald both had to loose everything that was dear to them until they only have johann who then betray them deeply. But these two dont seem to catch the “scenery of the doomsday” so dear to johann ; and yet johann appears to be convinced that tenma can (and so that tenma is the one who should kill him). Why is that ? Why tenma is so different than wolfe and schuwald ?

I have numerous ideas but not one that convinced me too much. The first one would be how their first encounter resonates with them both and had the same effect of ‘triggering their humanity’. I already explained why i think johann is tenma’s personhood trigger. I also think tenma is johann’ trigger to humanity. Its kind of simple : tenma is the first one to show him that human could be good. Tenma saves him and risk his career without ulterior motives (or at least material motives, because like i said there were many philosophical and psychological stakes for tenma). For johann, who never knew that humans could be like that because his childhood environment was kind of,,not good, and who is still young enough to be impressionable, it could be enough to be interested in what tenma has to offer if he were to play with him. That plus the fact that he has deep parental issues and tenma is, like he said, a “second father” to him, so maybe he acts like a child would with his dad (in his twisted way), or rather with his god -tenma who creates him, tenma who destroys him. But i think its too emotional for johann.

Other idea : johann, being this prodigy, understand exactly what is tenma situation while saving him and his philosophical questions -lets keep in mind that tenma talks to johan often whil the boy is in a coma. He understands that tenma chooses ultimately *personhood* over everything that could make his life easy. And tenma’s answer is exactly the opposite of johann's way of seeing life, since johann chooses again and again to negate humanity. So he wants to destroy tenma’s philosophy, destroy tenma sense of what is being human : he creates the perfect life for tenma, wait for tenma to be really at ease with his situation, then slowly destroy everything until tenma would be forced to recognize the superiority of johann’ response. I really think johann is prepared to die just to win his mind game with tenma lmao, he’s that much of a sore loser.

Other theory, who dont necessarily conflicts with the others ones, its that johann didnt plan to make tenma this important in his life. He at first intended to do to tenma the same thing he had done to schuwald and wolfe, with maybe more sentiments knowing tenma was his second father and everything. But what changed his plan was tenma reactions. I dont think johann thought that tenma will go all lone ranger in the arizona forest to train to become a killer spy lmao, and when he saw that, he was like ‘oh funny’ (lets keep in mind that during the first half of the series, while he still thinks he was the one in the red rose mansion, johann is basically just playing a nihilistic game and dont put that much valor into anything). Maybe he became attached to him (whatever sort of attachment you headcanon), which was kind of a novelty to him since he didnt have any feelings toward anyone until then -his sister was himself and he was his sister, i dont think johann ever understand that nina was her own person until the end so feelings toward his sister doesnt count- and he was unsettled enough to want to keep tenma at hand. Like each time i see the schuwald arc im lmfao, when johan is all like little devilish smiles and sidelong glances each time he knows (how? no idea, he must have super powers at this point really) tenma is watching him like how much of an act it is ?? theres no reason for johann to do this ‘hihi cant catch me hellooo ;D ;D’ except being a drama queen. Which he is. so yea i cant help but wonder why he is acting this funny towards tenma lol

Or maybe johann never succeeded in negating his own humanity and ultimately couldnt bear to truly erase his own existence at the end, so he wanted someone to remember him to have a chance to live at least once -because johann understood that what makes us be is to make other people witness your existence. Tenma was the ideal candidate he stumbled upon -his sister being out of play since she was himself so not a true external witness and everyone else being too,, afraid of him or too under his charm to do anything.

AAAh so many ideas !! what is sure is that tenma is johann most important person and conversely. And since they met so infrequently the fandom has a highway to imagine other interactions. please people imagine other johan/tenma interactions. please im dying i dont understand these russian fics at all

So anyway sorry for this loooong ass post that nobody is going to read !! i just,,,,,,,,,,love monster,,,,,,,,,so much

[meggannn]

LOL YOUR ROOMMATE?? I can't stop laughing omg

god did i ever share the full story of what happened with my housemate last year? i think i bitched about her a little bit but here’s the full write-up of my six months with that housemate. unedited and probably full of errors and discrepancies sorry cause im going off entirely from memory

i’ve now moved out of this apartment, but i was there for a year with three other girls. two of them i got along with fine, and we introduced ourselves to each other before we moved in because that’s common courtesy to see if we get along right? but basically before any of us could talk or interview candidates for the last spot in the apartment, this girl, i’m making up a name and calling her emily, this random girl named emily basically came in and signed on for the spot on the lease without talking to any of us. uh, okay? so we eventually all get in a group chat and talk and introduce ourselves and plan to move in. day one:  emily moved in before me and i moved in a few hours later. i walk in and see the kitchen and she’s already covered the fridge with magnets and pictures and paper clippings featuring…. herself. like, a few of them had her friends, but most of the pictures were of her. basically. am i crazy or is that fucking weird? so from the get-go she just seemed……. if not privileged (which i also knew she was later), then definitely some sort of weird type of entitled but i couldn’t tell if it was maybe just cultural differences? (she was russian but had grown up in the states. idk)

anyway. she had this boyfriend who would come over occasionally, it was no problem since we didn’t talk and just waved hi to each other occasionally. but from the first week she and another housemate who lived on the far end of the apartment were both having trouble sleeping because someone else on the floor was blaring their tv loudly all hours of the night in the room next door. after several weeks of not being able to sleep through the night, they’d pretty much had enough and managed to track down whose apartment it was, and it turned out to be this elderly black woman’s apartment. i don’t really know if the woman understood why they were so upset because i think she might have been going slightly senile as well, so i think maybe the tv, or the volume, was something she wasn’t entirely aware she was doing? but the other housemate, i’ll call her veronica (who is more chill but was still upset) understood that this was probably not a fight they wanted to pick. veronica noticed that the elderly woman had a middle-aged male visitor, who looked like family, come visit the woman a few times a week and take care of her/take out the trash etc, so veronica decided to wait until she saw the visitor again to talk to him about lowering the volume or turning the tv off, or maybe getting his relative headphones or something. but emily, like….. kept pushing it every single night. every single night for the first month or so she’d stomp across the floor and rap on the door loud enough to wake up the entire floor (the walls were thin and it wasn’t a big building). and most of the time the woman didn’t respond, but there was one notable time someone else got fed up enough to wake up at 2am and yell at emily (deservedly so) for waking up the whole hall. all of which i heard very clearly because my room was next to the main door to out apt.

things escalated when i overheard emily talking to her friend on the phone about the situation and then she mentioned that in retaliation, she went over in the middle of the night and put vaseline on the woman’s door handle. i was kind of stunned and disgusted that a grown ass adult (she’s at least a few years older than me, i’d guess late 20′s/early 30′s?) would do something like that???? but anyway a few nights later iirc, once again in the middle of the night, i was woken up by a shouting match down the hall because apparently the male relative had come back to check in on who he said was his mother, and HE WAS PISSED, UNDERSTANDABLY SO, AT FINDING MY ROOMMATE IN THE MIDDLE OF PUTTING VASELINE ON THE FLOOR CREVICE UNDER THE DOOR. LIKE. THAT’S NOT JUST PETTY BUT REAL FUCKING DANGEROUS TO DO TO AN ELDERLY WOMAN. he basically shouted at her and she kept talking about how she can’t sleep for months because of the noise, and whatever, but she stomped back to our apartment and they had this argument loudly at the door (remember, my room was right next to the front door). i listened to it for a couple minutes wondering if she would like, acknowledge what she did was wrong? and it became clear that she was so focused on the noise she wasn’t listening to this dude, so i came out and i tried to be a voice of reason. the guy was understandably really pissed that she would do something like that and i apologized for her and said she was wrong to do that (she had stomped off back to her room meanwhile) and he seemed grateful to talk to someone who wasn’t batshit crazy in the meantime so he mentioned that he had grown up in this building all his life before moving out so it hurt to see someone treat his mother this way who had lived here for 50 years or something. and after that i was just thinking like, jesus, this is so not the kind of fight you want to have with a family like this as a white woman in a gentrified apartment complex. like at some point you need to realize this is not your fucking place and if you must settle things, do it civilly or just dip out entirely.

i think emily eventually apologized and he accepted and they found out that the tv wasn’t even coming from the woman’s room at all, but from someone on the floor above who THEY also had had problems with for months.

veronica was away on a trip i think during this climax, but before, while it was still escalating, i was talking with veronica and veronica mentioned she and emily had bitched about the noise to each other often, but veronica said she drew the line when emily basically started making her complaints race-themed ever since she found out the elderly woman was black. etc the complaints turned from “it’s too loud” to “this neighborhood is so ghetto” and “that’s what black ppl are like” and stuff like that. veronica wasn’t cool with that, so she planned on handling any other complaints herself directly so she could resolve things like a normal person, but ever since veronica mentioned that i knew emily was a pos

emily also complained about people partying/drinking on the street outside till ~11pm, which imo isn’t too unreasonable, like normal people do, and basically being too loud or whatever. on some level i get it cause she had to go to sleep early to go to work early, but also at some point i was just wondering how she functioned as a human being in the real world

ANYWAY THE STORY I TELL AT PARTIES IS THIS ONE, THE ONE IN WHICH SHE LEAVES (i will try to keep this as short as possible while still giving you all the details you need to understand just how fucking weird it was):

in early november, emily group messaged everyone asking if her boyfriend could come live with us. to her credit she said she wouldn’t do it unless everyone was ok, and she waited to hear back from all of us. i was out of town at the time but i remember being really put off by this idea and i was going to say no, when i noticed that my two other housemates had ALREADY said yes in the chat. just like that. i was stunned. what? like, no follow-up questions or “we dont even really know him” or “how is this gonna work”? were they fucking insane?

i messaged her privately saying i really wasn’t comfortable with it, for xyz reasons. among those being 1) rent, because nowhere did she offer to split the rent five ways instead of four (they were basically going to split her room between them, which, no). 2) fridge/living space, which was small enough with four people to one apartment as it is, and 3) just overall “i dont fucking know him” atmosphere. she messaged back saying she understood, and i got to asking why this was so important to her to do now, because she mentioned she wanted to do it “asap” if we’d said yes.

and this is where my “no” turned into “hell fucking no.” she told me this:

in response to my question of if she’d want to put him on the lease, she said no, she wouldn��t want her boyfriend on the lease in case “something happens so she could just tell him to leave” (raising my question: what, exactly, do you expect to happen? maybe the landlord, who lives in the building, finding out someone’s living here illegally? bc THAT WOULD DO IT FOR ME)

she was marrying him in december which is why she wanted it to happen “soon” so they wouldnt be living apart. i asked why she couldnt just wait until the lease was up to do all this, to which she said:

her boyfriend’s green card (he was russian) had expired so he was now paying month to month and that’s when i realized, oh. bitch he’s using you for a green card marriage and you’re trying to inconvenience all of us instead of owning your life like an adult, or something

at some point during the conversation she like tried to bribe me with a couple hundred extra dollars per month “to cover the cost of the extra utlities/wifi/inconvenience,” which i politely declined. this was when i said basically “look i never got the sense you particularly liked living here (massive understatement) and i think that it’d work out best if you moved out, which you’re clearly already planning to do”

and she did start looking immediately. at some point while she was looking i overheard her talking to veronica mentioning that he was a huge fan of putin and she’d asked him to like, politely, stop?, lmao because she didn’t like his entire yknow politics, and he basically said “i’m sorry, i can’t betray my personal/national identity, i just really believe in putin” or whatever the fuck and i thought to myself, this bitch is marrying him anyway for some godforsaken reason

i don’t know why i hoped that she would be any more considerate moving out than when she moved in, but somehow i was still surprised when the sublet she picked out was someone she never introduced us to or mentioned before, she literally just said “hey here’s your new housemate and when she’s moving in” and dropped us a phone number and facebook page.

one last thing: while emily was moving out, veronica mentioned to me that she was really pleased i stood up to her because she felt massively uncomfortable with the situation too. i asked why she didn’t say something, and she said she talked to emily privately airing out her problems, and emily had managed to talk her into accepting that sort-of bribe privately off message, and emily told her ‘just say yes’ in the chat, so she did and was kind of kicking herself for it after. (our other housemate was off doing fuck knows what at this point; she was gone for weeks on end leaving us to take care of her guinea pigs for her with little to no warning.)

but then, veronica says, the big thing that astounds her is that this wasn’t even the same boyfriend who she’d had when she’d moved in. six months had passed by this point. SHE HAD BEEN DATING GREEN CARD GUY FOR LIKE, THREE MONTHS WHEN SHE DROPPED THIS ON US

and then she moved to fucking harlem, one of the yknow most diverse neighborhoods in the city known particularly for its black heritage, so i guess have fun honey

(her replacement somehow turned out to be just as bad as she was, so you can imagine why i was eager for my lease to end in may)

[dead-thorin]

everything im gonna write is gonna be concerning but it be like that and its really not concerning

for like months now i haven’t been ok. And like it’s gotten worse with the holidays and ive been so fucking angry and tired lol. like at first i was like its fine its ok, then i was like its the hormones it happens, then its the stress of finals and work but like its really not like i legit just dont want to be alive anymore im really tired of it. Like idk how to convey just how much i dont care anymore to be alive

1) I feel so fucking isolated here like i have friends but a majority of them are cis. And like the trans people i know? most of them on T are non binary which like valid, but they dont get the full extent. And like their families support them lmao and theres one person i could talk to but he doesnt seem to want to socialize much so i always feel awful thinking about hitting him up

and like i feel like my friends dont like me and i know thats not the case but also maybe it is!!! who fucking knows anymore!!!! i dont have time to talk to them bc im so busy at work and then i get home and immediately have to do more work and by the time im free this week theyll be home for break so like!!! fuck i guess!!! i saw one of my friends who i havent been able to see all semester and she said shed hit me up today and she hasnt and i know its cause she and another friend have to study and theyve been busy but in my mind its still “she fucking hates u!!! doesnt matter that she was so excited to see u and would definitely have no qualms in telling u to fuck off she hates u!!!”

2) no one listens to me lol like people listen to me when i rant, which is really helpful and i really appreciate and love that they do that bc emotional labor, but like in groups? i talk and people interrupt or dont hear what i say or disregard it and im like k. OR THEY THINK IM FUCKING JOKING LIKE THIS LEGIT IS SUCH A PROBLEM AND IVE HAD IT HAPPEN WITH SEVERAL PPL AND IDK WHAT TO DO. Like i physically say “im really not joking dont do that” AND THEY STILL THINK IM JOKING

and whenever i talk to people and they give me advice or just listen they do at least one thing. They either mention medicine, which again, valid, but i dont want to go back on medicine right now. But then they fucking push that shit and demand reasons why i dont want to like fuck u i dont have to explain shit to u i just dont want to. And/or it turns into me educating them and im just like great! i managed to do labor in this trying time! nice!

3) I cant talk to my therapist bc shell become concerned lol. i told her how i went to the labor looking for a book about the pros and cons of committing suicide and researched it and i had to talk for 10 minutes afterwards about the steps i was taking to help combat it but like i was legit scared to tell her in case she made me go into inpatient care lmao and this brings me to pt 4

4) theres like nothing here LMAOOOOOOO like no books at either library about stopping suicidal thoughts or helping depression or about family estrangement. I had to order books from different libraries to get something and theres a few that i got from the Libby app but like wtf lmao and theres no events during christmas and every volunteer thing? either i gotta fill out an application and do training which who knows how long thatll take or i need a car. Like there legit isnt anything here i did so much looking lmao like i have my hobbies but that wont make me leave the house

i talked to a professor about this shit too and he understands and stuff and told me to hit him up during break if i feel isolated but like I FEEL SO FUCKING GUILTY FOR EVEN BREATHING LMAO LIKE WHAT hes got shit to do too and i know he has research going on so like doubt it

5) im gonna die alone at this pt and i know thats mad dramatic and also probably false but im like so conflicted about everything i feel with my gender and dating

like every time i like a man im like wow if i was a girl, this wouldnt be a problem and like being cis has more privileges than being trans but i know last time i dated in the closet it wasnt a good time SO

and every time i like a girl, im like she prob wont see me as a man or will be disappointed in my body or transition

and like no matter who im interested in, the same thought is always “they prob dont see me as a man and will misgender me, even unintentionally” like i know people who dont even know my birth name and have known my pronouns as he/him AND THEY STILL GET IT WRONG LIKE WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO EVEN DO ANYMORE TATTOO IT ON MY FUCKING FOREHEAD 

theres a guy i currently like, whos so sweet like theres one incident that happened that i had me thinking damn.... hope hes into guys and single..... and like its kept me up thinking “oh man hes definitely str8 this fucking sucks if i was a girl i would probably have a shot” but like every time i toy with the idea of detransitioning (not in a serious way, but just like casually thinking of a scenario) my mind physically rejects it and is like “motherfucking do u wanna go back to THOSE shitty feelings??? really??? it was worse before!!” and i will definitely get over this crush, like im just lonely and its cuffing season, but it fucking sucks in the meantime like i feel like i cant date because im too nervous and scared to!!! im so scared they wont think im a man and i know thats not every person but like Jesus its enough that its a good possibility

6) this part is sad but i think i have to stop talking to my sister or at least give her limited info bc shes having her parents contact me through her and im not giving them shit so...

like she just texted asking when id be home and for the millionth time (BC NO ONE LISTENS TO ME) i said i wasnt going home, im never going home, stop asking and i know that its them asking her to ask me and they can honestly fuck themselves

like these are all problems that have solutions and i know the solutions but like im so tired of it lol im tired of having to deal with my family situation, im tired of being ignored and interrupted and not taken serious and having to explain my boundaries over and over and over again, im tired of not being able to talk to people for fear of getting hospitalized or interrupted or pushed onto meds, im tired of not having resources, im so tired of it all. Im so sick of being suicidal and not even being able to get out of bed and having to deal with being depressed and anxious and chronically ill fuck all of it

legitimately had to make a list of shit i could do over break so that i feel like i cant hurt myself until i finish it bc thats how my shit brain works. like i dont want to die but i also just dont want to deal with this anymore and i know itll get better in time but jesus fucking christ its been 8 damn years when does it actually get fully fucking good? its gotten better but more shit keeps coming up like yea i started hormones but now i dont have a fucking family anymore. 

Even if i didnt have this list i wouldnt do it bc 1) i dont want to do that to my closest friend and 2) im helping someone get out of an abusive situation. She has like no support, just one cousin whos there for her, but he doesnt have resources for her. Ive been listening to her and validating her and making sure she knows that a) this is the type of shit abusers do and b) shes not fucking crazy for thinking certain things!!! she really isnt and i get it so much so ive been gently giving her contacts from the beginning to help her and she finally left and is in a really delicate place. So like not exactly the best thing for me to suddenly be gone and id feel terrible if she had no one there for her

anyway this was a long post that can basically be summed up as i really want to fucking kill myself but i wont but also im suffering a lot

[garethito]

You know... I've been meaning to ask you about this for a while, and yesterday's tag thing that you did with those Bale gifs only like... fueled? My curiosity? Lol, if that makes sense. Could you like... relive? The Champions League final from this year for us? Like, your perspective on it? Or maybe even the actual whole day of the final? Sorry, God, I know this is weird, but I just love how you tell stories from your life! I have seen you do it with some other anons once!

First of all, THANK YOU SO MUCH for this like, you guys always send me such interesting questions and Im so??? and OMG no this is not weird stop this is such a wonderful question to ask!! And omg you liked how I told the stories to those anons that is so sweet thank you so muchhhhh ❤️❤️💝❤️💘💘💞💞💘

But also this is making me really emotional I dont think I will be able to write this without tearing up but here we go!!! I was at school today and we had a special day so we didnt make any classes, so I had time to formulate an answer to this, and to complete it at home 💞

Quick WARNING?? Yes I am perfectly aware of how crazy and overdramatic this whole story sounds, but the thing is that this is how I truly feel about this day in my life. So yeah lol. Football is basically my life!

I would like to start this by saying that the day of the 26th of May 2018 is the most important day of my entire life as a football fan. There is nothing that could even come close to this. Absolutely nothing. Never in my life have I cried like in that night. Never. Absolutely never. I have looked at my life as a person, at my hardest times, when I cried a lot, but not even that can even slightly compare to the amount of crying that I have done on that glorious day of May 7 months ago. When I say crying, though, I dont actually mean crying, no. I mean violently sobbing, screaming at the top of my lungs, shaking and feeling numb. But in the best way possible, the happiest tears that I ever shedded.

My actual perspective, like you said, though, starts from the 2nd of May, a day after our semi-final second leg against Bayern. From that day, until the 26th, my mind, my body, my soul only thought about the final. I could not even focus on the Clasico on the 6th, neither on the last La Liga match. I was so fucking nervous, words are not sufficient to describe….. At least once every 2-3 days I would go to the bathroom with severe stomach aches and sit there until I would try to calm myself down so that my grandmother wouldnt get worried. I thank God, the Universe, or whoever you think invented life for the fact that highschool had nothing special during that period, just a few tests, that I got the best grades on, because had there been something big, I would have surely failed. That was a nightmare. Just think about it. Horrible La Liga season, then those fucking shaky as fuck second leg matches against Juve AND Bayern. I was literally so pessimistic that I am scaring myself right now thinking about it. All these bad scenarios played through my head ”What if Zizou loses his job? What if this will be the start of our downfall? What if this is the last Champions League final we will play? What if, what if, what if….”. I always tried to tell my brain how stupid I was, that we are Real Madrid and that we will win, like we always do, that we are the best fucking team in the Universe and that nobody even comes close to being like us. But its like these voices in my head wouldnt stop, it was so scary.

Come 25th of May I was an actual lifeless corpse. No matter how much I tried to call my best friend, who was in Bulgaria at that time, and telling her that I cant take this anymore, and her telling me that its going to be okay like it always is, that she doesnt really know my team well but she knows we will win, no matter how much of that was happening, I couldnt fucking stop being nervous and constantly thinking about this match.

On the morning of the 26th I woke up with a severe headache at about 8:30-9 AM. The only things that I remember from that whole day are the constant empty feeling, the amount of times I listened to Hala Madrid Y Nada Mas and the amount of pictures, videos, promotional/support videos I saw and watched. I called my friend one last time and I told her that now I am optimistic, that we will win.

My whole emotional state was ruined, however, by Gareth not starting. I dont need to explain the whole February-May Gaz-Zizou situation because I think everyone knows it too well by now and what I fucking felt about it. I have never been so enraged in my entire life. After all he has done, still no place in the starting XI. Though, this is pretty much the only thing that has ever angered me about Zizou. I love that man too much, I dont think there will ever be a coach that will ever come close to him, a coach that I will ever love as much as I loved him, but this whole situation really, really angered me. As I said, not going to get into details, I think that is enough. Though, I tried to only focus on my hardly achieved positivity about the match. 

The match started and my emotional state reached its lowest point. I couldnt take it anymore, I felt impossibly sick from being so nervous, I got the most severe migraine ever, my eyes were literally about to pop out ugh again, remembering that gives me chills. Dani got injured, and I got angry again, because he didnt deserve it, the World Cup was literally about to start like God give this man a break!!!

Halftime at 0-0, my optimism grew, believe it or not. I felt like we will have more urgency in the second half and that we will win this.

The second half came, with me just desperately hoping for a goal. Because we were playing so well, we deserved a reward!! And it did come, with Benzemas goal, God I felt so relieved and happy. I have seen people saying that his goal was not good but? You literally take everything that is being offered to you in a Champions League final! He scored, he gave us a goal, we were 1-0 up, and I was literally screaming from joy, I was shaking so much and I was the proudest person alive. God, I love my team. Then, Liverpools equalizer came. I didnt think anything of it. I wouldnt get rid of my optimism. I was looking at my boys and I knew we would win.

And Oh My God, here we fucking go. 

Minute 61. Gareth comes on. I was so grateful that he at least got to play 30 minutes, I literally only wanted to see him. At that time, considering everything that was happening, I was already emotionally starting to prepare for his departure to another team. I was watching him in those moments, flashbacks through my mind of all the glorious times I got to see him, all of his goals, everything.

And then…

All of a sudden…

62:58

That moment. The moment in which my soul has definitely left my body. The most beautiful moment I have ever lived in watching football. The moment in which I was the proudest person alive. A moment I will never, ever, ever forget, for as long as I get to live. The moment I have literally seen history being made, right before my eyes. The moment in which I literally evaporated, left the Earth, idk how to explain this but I hope you understand me. My idol, that had suffered so much that season, scored a fucking bicycle kick in a FUCKING UCL FINAL. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. The happiest, most full of joy, best, most emotional moment. Ever. No exaggeration.

My perspective on this? Oh well, brace yourselves. If you think everything that I have written so far seems insane, get ready for this.

I was on my bed, watching the game, shaking. I saw the passes, beautiful passes, that ended up with Marcelo controling the ball (incredibly, as he always does, my Brazilian sunshine). I saw him swaying to the side, and then passing a high, aerial ball in the box. Gareth came up to meet it, with… a scissor kick. That he scored. I literally fucking exploded like there is no other word. I jumped off my fucking bed and I ran literally across the house and came back, making the most inhuman noises ever I swear. I came back to my bedroom and I collapsed on the floor and I literally started fucking bawling my eyes out, and even that seems like an understatement. Screaming at the top of my lungs, bawling my eyes out, literally all of it happening on the floor. My grandmother literally came in and she thought something happened to me, but then I just pointed to the screen and she understood lmao. And from that point onward I cannot say anything anymore, because I dont remember anything else but me on the floor, literally. After like 15 minutes I hardly even managed to get back on the bed, and guess what?

82:41

AGAIN. 

A

G

A

I

N

???? I dont know what to say anymore. Like he literally toyed with everyone that night, he didnt care about anything. Again, with a pass from Marcelo, he literally goes from FAR FAR FAR away and he shoots and… scores?? How much do you think my poor fragile self can handle? Like, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU SAY TO THAT?? Except for bawling your eyes out even more, if thats even possible? Its been 7 months and I still dont have words for what happened that night, like 2 goals ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? LIKE DO YOU UNDERSTAND I WAS LITERALLY DEAD LIKE ??? I LOST EVERY SINGLE BIT OF MY SANITY THAT NIGHT. 2 goals, 2 goals in 20 minutes, he was about to get a fucking hattrick. A fucking HATTRICK IN HALF AN HOUR, but Karius unfortunately stopped that shot.

The match ended and… I dont remember anything other than barely seeing the screen, I literally had a blurred vision.

We fucking won it. We DID IT. THE DECIMOTERCERA WAS OURS.

In the moment in which Sergio lifted it I… I dont have words, did I go into another Universe, did I ascend, did my soul leave my body I dont even know but what I do know is that I spent the rest of the night, up until like 6AM, crying my heart out. And this is what I mean by ”I have never cried so much in my entire life”. Like I have never spent a whole night crying.

I went to bed at like 6:30, woke up at like.. 10?? I think you can imagine how I woke up, I literally felt like I was going to die but I spent the rest of the day catching up on everything that happened the entire night.

And then, of course, the celebrations, Cibeles, Bernabeu… of course your sensitive girl bawled her eyes out again lol!

Every day ever since it happened, I have always been thinking about this day. About all of it. No point in counting how many times I rewatched the goals lol! But I think you can imagine haha 💘

So yeah, this is pretty much it DSLKFDKJFKDFJKDFK. The story about my best ever day of watching football I made it unecessarily long (Im so sorry). I think the only conclusion that I can get from this is Hala Madrid Y Gareth Y Nada Mas lol! 💘💘

[c-lamprey]

IVAN and/or ink queen

thank you nicky i love you 

i’ll do both bc why not

Full Name: Ivan Koruna (i suck at last names so this one’s still in the works lol)Gender and Sexuality: transmasc, he’s unsure about his sexuality and quite frankly so am i Pronouns: he/himEthnicity/Species: werebeast (previously human)Birthplace and Birthdate: a small unnamed village in the wyvern’s spine mountain range, according to his charahub page i at some point decided he was born on june 14th or whatever the equivalent of that is in the fucked up world he lives in. a gemini Guilty Pleasures: basically anything because he hates being happy but he likes violence and killing more than he wishes he didPhobias: intimacy both emotional and physical due to a mixture of trust issues, years of social isolation, and self hatred What They Would Be Famous For: killing some huge monster terrorizing a town or something. being a woods cryptidWhat They Would Get Arrested For: poaching, theft, murder, resisting arrest…ivan doesn’t care about or notice the lawOC You Ship Them With: i’d like to see him in a healthy relationship. i’d really like to. but ivan disagrees OC Most Likely To Murder Them: himself Favorite Movie/Book Genre: ivan barely consumes media but he has a soft spot for fairy tales/folk tales since he associates them with happier timesLeast Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: hmm….i think he’s the type of person who doesn’t like happy endings where everyone turns out okay because he doesn’t like, believe it can happen. he also probably hates sitcom-style interpersonal drama because he doesn’t, like, talk to people so it’s completely lost on himTalents and/or Powers:  he can turn into a big mutant four-armed cat creature. he also has really fast regenerative powers but the downside to those is that he’s hungry like, all the time. he’s a really good hunter and fighter in general, possibly because of thisWhy Someone Might Love Them: ivan is honest about how he feels about people so you’ll always know where you stand with him. he’s also very capable and independent and people admire that Why Someone Might Hate Them: he’s standoffish, turns to violence easily when pressed, extremely blunt and socially awkward, selfish, and suspicious of anyone and everyone. he makes it as hard as possible to be his friend and is deathly afraid to show affection to anyone. he also kills for money on occasion and he’s definitely made enemies that way How They Change: ivan used to be a normal kid living in a rural village, but unfortunately he got bitten by a strange dying creature while out in the woods and was driven off after transforming and accidentally mortally wounding his parents and several others. as a result he has all the emotional issues written above. while i don’t have anything planned yet really a way he could change in the future would be to learn to put his trust in someone again and like himself a little more but it would be a very hard road to get thereWhy You Love Them: he’s a fucking mess and fun to write

Full Name: Ink Queen Asaisis (she doesn’t give out her name to anyone though and just goes by title, because names have power and she will never relinquish any type of power)Gender and Sexuality: she chose her pronouns for the aesthetic; she doesn’t actually have any understanding of gender whatsoever. she’s interested in romance but also entirely for the aesthetic and the drama of it all not bc she actually gives a shit about anyonePronouns: she/herEthnicity/Species: immortal spirit of tar Birthplace and Birthdate: the Searing Badlands, October 9th exactly 100 years agoGuilty Pleasures: she doesn’t see the point in guilt, shame, remorse, or self-reflectionPhobias: waterWhat They Would Be Famous For: being a tyrannical ruler, murdering a bunch of people, being a giant tar monster that spits flesh-melting acidWhat They Would Get Arrested For: you can’t arrest the ink queen.OC You Ship Them With: i wouldnt wish that fate on anyoneOC Most Likely To Murder Them: i suppose it would be hrue the desert worm, her rival who lives in the desert nearby, but like….she’s immortal. if there’s a way to permanently kill her short of completely annihilating the searing badlands it hasn’t been found yetFavorite Movie/Book Genre: she’s not picky but she likes things with blood, gore, and drama the mostLeast Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: when the ridiculously powerful villain loses to the Power of Friendship™Talents and/or Powers: being a giant tar monster that spits flesh-melting acidWhy Someone Might Love Them: she can be pretty charismatic when she wants to be and she’s a very passionate and curious person. if you manage to catch her interest she could be an entertaining conversation partner. however…don’t bore herWhy Someone Might Hate Them: she’s a big stinky poisonous tar monster who tears people apart for fun. what else needs to be saidHow They Change: she’s perfect already why would you want to change her (lol)Why You Love Them: i love big vicious monsters

[onlyjihoons]

demon!jihoon

a/n; very much inspired by jihoon's demonic lenses he wore here?? and this prompt!i would also like to thank @hwinkinghwi for the demonic(?) moodboard hehe,,,happy early halloween!

jihoon is one of the most cunning demons

he would actually use his ungodly looks to his advantage to get his way

almost everything his goddamn face will make people give in/compromise

sometimes he uses his evil to help kids out

like, he sees a kid being bullied at a playground or something, he would give retribution by shoving sand down the bully's shirt??

(i have no idea how demons work so please spare me)

but other than that jihoon is pretty cynical

when he disguises himself as a mortal, he looks normal, until you look at his eyes,,,

theyre a light blue

they arent even contacts, like theyre just his eye colour

people just believe his lie that those are prescription contacts LOL

jihoon is being notorious for the senior who uses his looks to get through anything and everything

but not his grades lmao

so he's two years older than the kids taking their college entrance exam

basically he just wasted 2 years of his life in school

but he just wants to live off fellow demon!seongwoo,, so he just, doesnt study and goes to school

but seongwoo found out about it,, and made sure jihoon spends his legit last year in high school or jihoon would be ugly in his next life LOL

you're a senior in high school, trying to make the best out of your dying grades

you do know jihoon, but avoid communication as you're an angel

like legit,, angel

you were an angel thanks to your mother, who was involved in the heaven

and she wanted you to live a sin-free life as much as possible

ok now back to avoiding jihoon

why avoid communication?

for a simple reason;

you had a crush on him

and the rule of thumb your mother bestowed upon you was

"you can date anyone but demons"

and you were well aware jihoon was a demon, as your halo(which was invisible to the eyes of mortals) were blinking whenever jihoon would be near you

and you just didnt like the idea of dating a handsome asshole

fun fact: jihoon used to be an angel until he was involved in the 101, which made him evil

you knew jihoon relatively well due to the fact he used to be an angel

he was your childhood friend

always protecting you and looking out for you

your crush on him developed even before he became a demon, and didnt falter even when he wasnt a angel

but the both of you grew distant as your mother would warn you not to play with fire

you were taking a media studies elective as a subject and there was a coursework you had to do

which involved acting w a partner of the opposite gender

and to your luck, jihoon was the only student in the class who took media studies

not knowing anything between the both of you, your teacher assigned the both of you as partners LOL

to make things worse, the story was

romeo and juliet

how ironic lmaoooo

meaning, you had to kiss jihoon

or rather, jihoon had to kiss you

because your teacher chose the last scene, which had the least lines, for the both of you to "ensure your distinctions"

and the both of you just had to bite the bullet and take it because you'd want to graduate from school quickly and attempt to wash the sins of kissing jihoon away by doing more good things in college

while jihoon just wanted to get this thing done and over with

you told your mom about it, she was okay with it, but she still warned you not to fall for jihoon

though, your dad is a demonxangel

its a given that you and jihoon had to stay after school to run through the script

and every time you and jihoon renact the last scene, your breath hitches in your throat and you hiccup

or on days where you just burst out laughing and accidentally spit on jihoon

he actually wasnt that mad about it because 1. he knew how hard it was to keep one's composure in a kiss scene WITH THEIR CRUSH

2. he just thought you were cute

despite jihoon not kissing you for practices

which you were thankful for or else you cant sleep at night

until,,, the day of the assesment

everything went fairly smoothly, and the dreaded kiss of life was very soon approaching you

you thought jihoon wouldnt kiss you like he did in practices

bitch you thought

he kissed you on the lips and you were trying your best not to shoot your eyes open in shock

and of course,, the kiss of life received a standing ovation from the teachers who were really impressed

because most students dont actually kiss lmao

so you had to drag jihoon aside after yhe assesment and he had that stupid smile on his face

"cant you see i like you???"

you were stunned and also happy

but you had to keep your promis to your mom

"im sorry jihoon, i cant be your girlfriend"

boy he was shocked because he was never rejected

"why?"

"because," you bit your lip, contemplating wheter to tell jihoon

"because??"

"angels and demons cant be together," was all you said before leaving jihoon hanging

you and jihoon never talked until,,, halloween

which, you decided to go as yourself to your friend's halloween party at universal studios

you wore a plain white dress,, and wore a halo headband

pretty basic and simple but you really didnt care and just tried to dress nicely

apparently her parents rented the whole theme park for a private party lol

your friend was asking why you didnt bring jihoon along as your "plus one"

and you just shrugged,

"shit happened and we arent really talking anymore"

she got the hint immediately and stopped mentioning jihoon

meanwhile, jihoon was also dressed as himself

his hair was dyed a lighter blonde and wore a v neck black button up w ripped jeans,,,,,, and wore a choker on his neck too

basically all-black and looking good as heck

when he arrived every girl turned their heads and were shookt

like he barely needed to do anything to look THAT good

"a demon" was what he replied,, but he was laughing inside as people dont know his real identity

he was just enjoying the atmosphere of halloween where people dressed up and didnt care if their make up was shit,, its halloween anyway

he was just chilling and walking around w fellow demon!baejin when he saw someone carrying a girl in a white dress,,,

and that girl in a white dress seemed too familiar...

that when it clicked and he had to abandon baejin to save you

when he stopped the figure holding you, he ripped off its mask and revealed someone he wouldnt expect

lai guanlin

"guanlin, what are you doing?"

"i..i can explain--"

"explain what? drugging y/n and bringing her somewhere to hurt her?!" 

at this point jihoon was really really angry, his irises turned red

"who made you do this?”

“i can’t tell you--”

“im severing all ties with you if you dont tell me.”

“okay okay! seongwoo-hyung made me do it,, he just wanted to mess with you. nothing poisonous was fed to y/n! i swear!”

jihoon could only sigh and roll his eyes, as he motioned guanlin to come closer to him

and when he did, he twisted guanlin’s ear, making the younger groan in pain,,, while still holding onto you LOL

“help seongwoo-hyung again and not only your ears would be red,” jihoon snapped, as guanlin helped to load you on jihoon’s back

jihoon was contemplating where to bring you to,,, in this state where you were fast asleep

he decided to bring you back to your home

of course, with you on his back was pretty crazy

people were staring at him, thinking that he got a girl drunk lmao

but some people were noticing how cute he was and he’d just blush and try to hide his face??

meanwhile you were still sleeping, and jihoon made your head lean on his shoulder

and it was quite a scene bc a literal angel leaning on a literal demon’s shoulders??? p sadistic but cute at the same time

he knew the exact route to your house because it was almost like muscle memory,, he always came over to your house during the weekends when the both of you were childhood friends

when jihoon knocked on the door he was pretty nervous to how your mom would react

“y/n youre--jihoon?”

“sorry you have to see this, but y/n got drugged by someone... i saw her and i had to save her”

“ah, i see...” your mom was weirdly happy that no one but jihoon saved you??

“her room is the last bedroom to the right...” your mom pointed, “i think you should stay over, it’s quite late.”

“but i don’t have any clothes...” jihoon smiled nervously 

tbh how is he not tired after holding you for so long;)

“its fine! daniel has some clothes he cant wear anymore, you can use those.”

casually slips in olderbrother!daniel

jihoon was reminded of the times where your mom would take care of him p well, he was so touched that her heart didnt change over the years despite being a demon himself

“thank you mrs y/l/n, please rest early too!”

thats when your mom muttered something about him calling her mom

“excuse me?”

“yeah i will sleep soon, when daniel comes home.”

as jihoon entered your room, it was clean, and like a typical teenage girl’s room, with fairy lights and wall decorated with polariod pictures

after he settled you on your bed, he looked around your room and spotted a picture of the both of you amidst all the polariods

it was the both of you during your freshman year,, he took you to smoothie king because you were having a bad day

he smiled, but then sighed at the thought that your mother didnt allow you to date demons

but she was liking him so much she wanted yall to get married right there

all he could do was kiss your forehead and ruffle your hair

when he was about to leave he felt something tugging on his arm

“don’t go...” 

you were sleeptalking lmao

jihoon hence slept at the side on your bed, while holding your hand

the next morning, you woke up to a weight on your hand, and you saw a blonde head 

you were surprised so you screamed

and you woke jihoon in the process

“w-what”

“what are you doing here?”

“well...” jihoon scratched his head sheepishly 

“...”

“what-- y/n! i know im a demon but no, i would never do that”

“then?! what are you doing here, in my room, in your...outfit”

“because you told me to stay??” jihoon raised his eyebrows

shit he heard that, you cursed internally

“but thank you for saving me.” you blushed

“that’s it?” jihoon smirked, “no thank you kiss?”

“what?why?”

“because you are mine.”

shit i cringed so hard but smth jihoon would say tbh

“but my mom--”

he then interrupted your words with a kiss, which worked

“i can bet you my life saving that she is peeping at us right now,” jihoon whispered

and yes she was, peeking at the both of you and you could see her punching the air in victory

dating demon!jihoon is just like dating a huge fluffball

and takes revenges on your behalf if anyone dares to hurt/offend you

but sometimes hes hella r u d e 

like randomly flipping his hair and winking

and whenever he trips,,

“i think i fell for you”

like p l e a s e  s t o p

still has the innocence in him despite being a demon

like lighting up in front of candy

and buying you stuff in a non-evil way

your mother openly supports your relationship with jihoon

like 

“yes yall my son in law is jihoon,, isnt he handsome??”

and you had to shut her up everytime she starts talking about jihoon

sometimes you wonder if she forgot that youre her child and not jihoon

overall, a relationship most wouldn’t expect but still ship together