#and then you'd rather have a heart attack instead of apologising

[pharawee]

"But he hurt me so badly. I don't want to feel like this anymore."

[sehnsuchts-trunken]

ooooo wanna hear more about danger zone with bradley!!

ohhh that one!! it is SO old istg, it's been sitting in my drafts unfinished for like a year. and it sounds so fancy and spicy and smutty as well, but i literally named it that (temporarily) because it's about danger zone. the song.

anyway since it's probably never gonna see the light of day, here, have a way too long snippet!!

and keep in mind that this one's old and unedited. for your sanity and mine. thank you 🙃

She motioned towards the dance floor - overcrowded and entirely uninviting. You shook your head almost immediately. No, thank you. You'd rather stew here for the next three hours than 'get out there'. Penny sighed, but nodded. "Alright, honey. But drink that margarita, okay? And feel free to change the music, if you'd like something else." She put her phone down on the bar top beside you and smiled. You smiled back, if still a little weak. Penny only wanted the best for you. She was only helping you. Also, you really had not been feeling the music all that much, so... You had just grabbed Penny's phone and unlocked it when someone suddenly interrupted your stewing and (not) drinking. "Excuse me", he drawled, and you almost jumped off the bar stool with how hard you flinched. By god, did the universe want to kill you? Your heartbeat skyrocketed and you were sure that for just a quick second, you'd actually seen god. The man beside you let out a laugh. You were hardly breathing when you turned to him. The first thing you noticed was that he was huge, towering over you even on top of the bar stool. The second thing was that he was wearing one of those ridiculous, long out of fashion Hawaiian shirts, blue and green and yellow and so bright and colourful it almost blinded you. "I'm sorry", he said then, and the third thing you noticed was how deep his voice sounded. "I didn't want to give you a heart attack." You took a deep breath and swallowed and then made the mistake to actually look up at him. He was gorgeous. Soft, brown curls, sunglasses in his hair, eyes like melted chocolate and - And a fucking pornstache. Oh, no. No. No, no, no, no, no. No, definitely not. "Well, you did", you said, forcing yourself not to stare in disbelief at the monster above his mouth. This was the twenty-first century, goddamn, who grew a fucking moustache in this economy? And who had the right to look good with it? "Then I sincerely apologise", he said, somehow not put off by your comment at all, but instead now - smiling? "Usually, I try to make a better first impression."

[lukefics]

Hi! Can I request a fluffy/comfort Luke x Reader, where reader has just been going through a lot and Luke is there to have their back and make them feel better? Thanks!

The Storm Will Pass

Pairing: Luke Skywalker x GN! Reader

Summary: When the weight of the world becomes too much to bear, Luke is there to comfort you.

Warnings/Content: Mentions of blood/injury, minor bullying, alcohol, feelings of depression, strong language, angst ending in fluff, mutual pining.

A/N: my first request! be warned tho - it’s very long. also i apologise in advance for any unfamiliar slang, i’m scottish lmao. that being said i hope you enjoy, pls let me know what you think! <3

──────── ༻❁༺ ────────

It had felt like the entire universe had been against you recently - if such a thing was possible. It had been a busy couple of weeks for you and your rebel comrades, what with the Alliance moving its new base of operations to the ice planet of Hoth, you'd barely had a moment to breathe.

The transition to your new home, Echo Base, hadn’t been the most straightforward. Immediately upon arrival, there were issues; starfighters wouldn’t fire up due to the cold, equipment had gone missing in transit. Since then almost every day something had gone wrong, and as luck would have it - or rather lack thereof - today would be no different.

You were currently in the repair hangar perched on top of a Blue Squadron X-Wing trying to fix its faulty hyperdrive, your grey overalls and padded snow jacket covered in oil and grime. This was the third time this hyperdrive had packed in this week, and now the task of repairing it again had been assigned to you. You’d been at it all morning; removing parts, dismantling parts, putting them back together with your hypdrospanner or replacing them entirely, trying to get the ship back in full working order.

Your hands, which were gloveless as it was the only way you could reach and grab smaller components in tight spaces, were freezing which only made the job more difficult. Why High Command couldn't have chosen to establish their new headquarters on a planet with a tropical climate instead, you had no idea.

"You're still working on that hyperdrive, Y/L/N?" You looked down to the hangar floor to see the unimpressed face of the base’s Chief Technician glaring up at you.

You swallowed nervously and assured him, "I'm almost done, sir."

But that answer wasn't satisfactory, "Do you think if the Empire were to find this base they'd give us a fair chance and wait around until our ships were in working order before launching an attack? No - so get a move on!"

"Yes, sir." you nodded, your voice quiet and heart pounding.

Shaking his head as he stormed off, the older man left you to it. You sighed, returning to your work. Miserable git, you thought to yourself. He'd been getting on at you and the other technicians even more so than usual, probably because of the huge backlog of repairs yet to be done due to the missing equipment. Just a few days ago he'd called you 'useless' for being a minute late for your shift. You were exhausted from all the overtime you’d been doing recently, which was why you’d slept in, but that wasn’t a good enough excuse - he’d made that clear when he threatened you with disciplinary action if it happened again.

Knowing it'd only be a matter of time before he came back and gave you another earful, you quickened your pace, trying to get this hyperdrive fixed as soon as possible. However, just as you were going to install a new coupling, in your haste your hand grazed against the edge of some sharp metal inside the hyperdrive bay.

"Ah fuck!" you seethed as you dropped the coupling and clutched your injured hand, the gash across your palm beginning to bleed. Great, what next? Quickly grabbing a rag from inside your jacket pocket you crudely wrapped it around your hand, biting down hard on your bottom lip to stop yourself from emitting a very loud string of curse words, before climbing down the ship's ladder and going to find help.

Half an hour later you were sat on a bed in the base's med bay, your hand being tended to by one of the Alliance's medical droids. You zoned out on your boots and the sterile white floor beneath them as 2-1B finished stitching up your wound, occasionally wincing in pain when it hurt most. You couldn't believe you'd made such a rookie mistake. You were an experienced technician; in the Alliance long enough that you could probably take apart an X-Wing and put it back together with your eyes closed. You could only imagine the lecture you were going to receive from the Chief Techie about your carelessness, probably in the middle of the main hangar for everyone to witness.

But you could hardly focus on that. Sitting here, you could feel the exhaustion of the last few weeks washing over you, your mind drifting a million parsecs away. Being in the Alliance was always hard work - you had signed up for it - that wasn’t the problem. It was the frayed patience’s of your colleagues, the gruelling extra hours and being stuck on a frozen hellscape which didn’t help general morale one bit.

You were brought back to reality by 2-1B talking you through the aftercare of your wound and to return in a week to have your stitches removed. Thanking the medical droid for his aid, you hopped down from the bed and left the med bay, sighing quietly as you walked through Echo Base’s maze of underground tunnels.

༻❁༺

You couldn't return to duty until your hand had begun to heal so you retreated to your quarters for the rest of the evening. Your roommate was working a late shift which meant you had the room to yourself, a fact you were quite happy about as the last thing you wanted to do after today's events was socialise. You were laying there in your bunk reading a holobook absentmindedly when there was a knock at the door.

Getting out of your bunk and padding over to the entrance to your room, you worried about who it might be. Pressing the button to open it, the hydraulic door whooshed open to reveal your best friend Luke, still dressed in his orange flight suit, “Hey!”

Your eyes widened in both surprise and joy, “Luke!" you practically jumped into the boy’s arms, “I wasn’t expecting to see you till next week - when did you get back?”

“About five minutes ago. The mission was over sooner than planned.” Luke laughed, hugging you back. He was about to pull away but your arms around him didn’t loosen. You closed your eyes as an unexpected wave of emotions hit you, compelling you to hold him just that little bit longer. The pilot didn’t question it, he just rubbed your back comfortingly as the two of you continued to embrace.

Luke had been on a relief mission with his squadron to the Eriadu system for two weeks. It was always hard to watch him leave on long missions, being as close as you were, not knowing if you’d see him again. This time though, what with everything going on, it had been even harder, “I’m so glad you’re back.” you mumbled into his shoulder before finally letting him go.

“So am I,” Luke gave you that sweet smile which always made your heart flutter. However, his cheerful expression immediately changed to one of concern when he noticed your bandages, “Hold on, what happened to your hand?”

Taking your injured hand gently in his, you reassured him, “Oh, that? Stupid mistake while fixing an X-Wing today. Just a couple of stitches - I’ll live.”

“Still, must be painful,” Luke grimaced, “You sure you’re okay?”

You nodded, "It’s actually not that bad. Those medical droids patched me right up, and the painkillers I was given have been taking the edge off. If the pain gets worse, I can always take enough to completely knock myself out - then I won’t feel a thing.” you joked.

“Yeah, maybe don’t do that,” Luke chuckled, running his thumb over the back of your bandaged hand, his eyes softening, “I really missed you, Y/N.”

You pushed your emotions down into the pit of your stomach, giving him a wavering smile, “I missed you too.”

Carefully letting go of your hand, Luke gestured to the door, “The squad and some of the others on base are having a couple of drinks to celebrate the success of the mission. You’ll be joining us, right?”

Your smile had faltered almost completely, “I dunno, Luke. As much as I’d like to, I’m just not…feeling it tonight.”

You hoped your friend wouldn’t pick up that something else was wrong, but Luke knew you too well. He stepped forward again, “Are you sure there’s nothing else bothering you? You don’t seem…yourself?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Honest. I’m just tired…that-that’s all…” Before you could stop it from happening, a lone tear rolled down your cheek. Embarrassed, you quickly wiped it away and avoided eye contact with the boy in front of you.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” Luke moved closer, cupping your chin to encourage you to look up at him, the gentle act just making it harder not to completely fall apart.

“I’m-I’m sorry, I dunno where that came from," you managed to utter with a shaky voice as you waved your hand dismissively, "Just ignore me, I’m being an idiot.”

“No, you’re not. C’mon, sit down.” the pilot coaxed softly, bringing you over to the edge of your bed and sitting you down. You’d managed to stop more tears - for now. But the way Luke was looking at you, with those blue eyes filled with such care and concern, you knew you’d be struggling to keep them at bay. Sitting down beside you, he ran his hand up and down the side of your arm, “What’s going on?”

As much as you wanted to bottle it up and insist that you were fine, there wasn't much point. You knew that if you really didn’t want to go into detail, Luke would understand, but he was your best friend - he was the last person you'd want to lie to.

“It's nothing, it’s just…these last few weeks, as you know, have been so hectic. I think the stress is just getting to me a bit, that’s all.”

"You wanna talk about it? Only if you want to, of course." Luke asked. It never failed to amaze you just how kind the former farmboy was. His aunt, who he rarely talked about but from what you'd gathered from past conversations was like a mother to him, had done an outstanding job raising him, that was for sure.

You sighed quietly, “Well, the Chief Techie has been on my case, but that’s nothing new.”

Luke scoffed at the mention of his name, well aware of how he could be from the many stories you had told him, “Asshole.”

“Agreed,” you replied, “He’s been relentless recently. No matter what we do, or how fast we work, it’s not good enough for him. He had a go at me today for taking too long on a task. That’s how I made that mistake and injured myself - because I was rushing.” you looked down at your bandaged hand, “Still, I should have been more careful.”

“Are you being serious? Y/N, that’s not okay,” Luke stated, his voice stern, “I can mention this to Command, if you want?”

That brought an amused smile to your face, “Of course, I forget - you have the power to do that now, Commander Skywalker.” you emphasised the title of his new rank.

“I’m not looking for a power trip opportunity,” Luke rolled his eyes and nudged your arm, “I’m trying to look out for you.”

“I know you are, Luke,” you reached over and took his hand in your uninjured one, “And I’m grateful for that, but it’s not just him. I haven’t mentioned it before but…I’ve not been feeling like myself for a while now,” tears began to well in your eyes, “I’ve been trying to stay positive, brush it off as fatigue but, I dunno, I’ve just been feeling so…useless lately. Like I can’t do anything right. And after these last couple of weeks, I think I might be starting to believe it.”

Before you could stop it from happening, tears began to stream down your cheeks as you covered your mouth to silence a quiet sob.

“Hey, come here. Come here.” Luke said softly as he immediately moved closer and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into him. Letting the floodgates open, you cried into the pilot's chest. Luke rested his chin on top of your head as he held you tightly, one hand rubbing your shoulder; the other gently combing through your hair, "You're not useless, Y/N. I've never met anyone more knowledgeable and hard-working as you - and I'm not just saying that because you're my friend. Please don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

You couldn't even respond due to your outpour of emotions so you just closed your eyes and sank further into him, his body warmth which radiated against you welcoming against the cold air of Echo Base. He smelled faintly of hyperfuel and standard-issue soap, and you knew that if you weren’t so upset you’d probably be blushing furiously at your close proximity. Your feelings towards Luke had grown from that of friendship to something more a while ago, and while you suspected he might feel the same, neither of you had dared to make a move out of fear of ruining the relationship you already had. You were fond of the farmboy’s company and the bond you shared, it was too precious a thing to risk losing. But that didn’t stop your gaze from falling to his lips when he spoke to you, or your heart from skipping a beat when you made him laugh and your mind from wandering; lost in tender thoughts about what could be. After a while, your tears began to cease.

"I’m so sorry, Luke. You’ve been back all of ten minutes and you've already had to deal with this.” you managed to say between stuttered breaths, fearing you'd made a complete fool of yourself and your friend uncomfortable.

“Don’t be silly, there’s no need to apologise. If anyone should, it’s me,” You looked up at him confused, “I’m sorry you’ve been going through this, Y/N. I want you to know that if you need someone to talk to, vent to, or cry to,” he reached over and gently wiped away the last remaining tears away from your reddened cheeks, “No matter what, even if I’m away on a mission, I’ll be at the other end of that comlink as soon as I can. I’ll be there for you - always.”

You smiled gratefully, “Thank you, Luke.”

Smiling back, the pilot hesitated slightly before leaning in and placing a kiss on your forehead, the loving act surprising you as he’d never done anything like that before. You looked at each other for a moment after. Neither of you said anything because you didn’t know what to say, but luckily you didn’t have to - what could be read in your eyes said more than enough. The two of you would talk about it later as the sound of Luke’s said comlink interrupted the silence.

“That’s Wedge wondering where I am.” Luke said as he started getting up, “You sure you won’t come along, even just for a bit?”

You thought about it for a moment, now feeling a hundred times better than you did the first time he’d asked, “You know what? I will actually," you smiled and put on your boots, "Only if Han's there, though. Is the Falcon still here?"

"Yeah, it was there when I walked through the main hangar, I don't think him and Chewie are leaving till the morning," Luke gave you a curious look as he helped you put your heavy snow jacket on when he noticed you struggling one-handed, "Why?"

"Because I need cheering up and he's great entertainment after a few drinks," you explained, "It's like he has a complete personality transplant!"

Luke laughed at your comment as the hydraulic door opened and the two of you left your quarters, "Don't let him hear you say that."

"Can’t make any promises, but I’ll try my best." you chuckled as Luke nudged your arm amusedly again, the two of you walking through the frozen corridors of Echo Base to meet up with the rest of your rebel comrades.

[kittyymew]

Accidental Surprise

Story Summary- Levi walks in on you pleasuring yourself. You, the Reader, and Levi are not a couple in this scenario, however, both of you like each other romantically without each other's knowledge.

********

You groan as you enter your room after a long stressful day, plopping down on your bed. You were tired, annoyed, angry, and frustrated. Hell! Why wouldn't you be? Another failed mission, and the worst part of it all? You were blamed for the unforeseeable factor which caused the mission to fail. Well, at least there wasn't a single casualty. A rare occurrence.

"Urgh fucking great! Of course, it's my fault! I mean yeah I controlled the titans who made us break our formation!" You let out in an exasperated tone, sitting up on your bed as you start undressing out of that stupid, uncomfortable uniform, tossing it all in a corner.

""Y/N! WhAt aRe yOu dOiNg WhY aRe tHeRe sO mAny tItAns? WhY DiDn'T YoU TeLL uS thErE aRe gOinG To Be sO mAnY aBnoRmALs iN oUr wAy?!"", you mock Levi's words as you get up from your bed and make your way over to the closet to get a change of clothes. He's been like this, blaming you for the most irrelevant things, ever since you were assigned a squad leader yourself. You tried ignoring his condescending remarks, illogical arguments, and wrongfully placed blames in the beginning but it's getting more and more unbearable with every mission you go on.

"Um... I don't know... MAYBE THE FACT THAT THERE WAS NO WAY I WOULD'VE KNOWN!" You yell out in the empty room.

"I can not believe I used to like-like him. Who am I kidding? I still like that stupid ass head! URRRGH WHY DID I HAD TO HAVE FEELINGS FOR HIM OUT OF ALL PEOPLE?!", you shriek out in an irritated tone, opening your closet door with such force that a box tumbles down from the top shelf, spilling its contents on the ground.

You sigh, closing your eyes and massaging your temples in an attempt to calm yourself down. You glance down at the box that had just tumbled out of your closet, seeing a pair of cuffs and a collar that had fallen out of the box. "Oop," you think as you realize it was your sex-toy box that had fallen out of your closet.

"Oh... I forgot I even had these things..." You mumble, bending down to pick up the items and the box, making your way back to your bed and emptying all the contents on the mattress. The collars, handcuffs, vibrators, dildos, butt plugs, ropes, etc. You had bought most of these items when you were with your ex.

Amidst the breakup and you gaining more responsibilities in the scouts, it's been a little over a year since you've used any of the items inside the box. Hell, you barely have any time to pleasure yourself with your fingers, let alone have sex with someone or have the luxury of using all these toys on yourself.

You pick up the pretty pink coloured wand-type vibrator, pressing down on the power button, the vibrator buzzing to life. You didn't think it was even charged. Well, at least you hadn't ran out of luck... yet. You turn it back off, biting down on your bottom lip, contemplating whether you should use it on yourself right now or not.

You quickly get up and get rid of your panties, climbing back on your bed as you crawl to the center, propping the pillows against the headboard, turning around and leaning back on it, spreading your legs.

Your mind automatically travels back to the one person you've liked for so long. As creepy or weird as it may feel, you can't help it. How his lips might feel against yours, or his hand wrapped around your throat, his fingers tangled in your hair tugging on it, or how his fingers would feel inside you... or even better his d-

*SIGH*

Taking a deep breath to relax, you trail your fingertips down your chest, stopping at your nipples to gently squeeze and tug on them.

"Maybe this is how his fingers would feel..."

You bite back a small moan at the sensation, it's been a while since the (Y/N/C) buds received any attention.

You take your sweet time to rile yourself up, switching between squeezing your boobs and pinching and tugging on your nipples. Your mind clouding up with all kinds of inappropriate thoughts and you can already feel the heat pooling between your legs by just stimulating your nipples and by the thoughts of how Levi would fuck you...

You keep your left hand on your left boob and trail your right hand down until your fingers touch slick folds, your fingers rubbing up and down, spreading your arousal. A small, almost inaudible whimper falls off your lips as your fingers finally connect with your throbbing clit.

In the blink of an eye, your fingers are moving in a circular motion over your clit, applying just enough pressure to have you squirming and moaning. It's been so long, even the slightest touch has you going crazy.

You begrudgingly disconnect your fingers with your clit, just for a few moments until your fingers were replaced with the head of your wand vibrator, your other hand spreading your folds as you press down the vibrating head against your clit. You throw your head back, moaning loudly as pleasure spreads through your body like wildfire.

"O-oh... fuuck..."

You moan out as you apply more pressure, moving the vibrator up and down your clit slightly, the movement combined with the intense vibration causing your toes to curl and your eyes to roll at the back of your head in pleasure.

Sliding your fingers down towards your entrance, you push a finger inside your wet cunt that slides in with ease, and curl it upwards in a come hither motion, with your walls clenching around your finger as the tip rubs against your g-spot and the vibrator's sweet assault on your clit, it doesn't take long to feel the knot in your lower stomach tighten.

Throwing your head back in pleasure, small moans and whimpers fall off your lips, quickly adding in another finger inside, plunging them as deep as they can go, the tips rubbing against that sweet spot inside your tight pussy, as you draw your orgasm closer and closer with each thrust and movement of your fingers against your g-spot, combined with the intense vibration against your swollen clit.

"Fuck fuck fuck... oh... god... L-Leviii fuck...!"

You scream out in pleasure, applying more pressure on your clit with the vibrator, your fingers halting their thrusting movement as your cunt clenches around them, your lower stomach fluttering, your toes curling and back arching, as the euphoric sensation takes over your mind and body.

Pulling your fingers out of your throbbing pussy and turning the vibrator off, you try to catch your breath, still coming down from the high of the orgasm you just had.

"I- uh... *ahem*..."  Your head snaps up towards the direction of the door, the moment you heard someone clear their throat, and there he stood in your doorway, in all his red-faced glory, your soul leaving your body when you see his face.

It takes a moment for your brain to register, but you snap out of it when you see Levi take the tiniest step forward.

"FUCKING SHIT! LEVI WHAT THE HELL?!"

You yell as you jump up to cover yourself with the blanket and hastily trying to hide the multiple sex toys that were splattered all over your bed.

"I- uh...." Levi opens and closes his mouth, failing to realise that he's gawking at your naked figure. He averts his gaze only after you pull the blanket up to your chest and awkwardly try to hide his hard-on. He quickly turns around, his mind finally processes the situation, but not before you catch a glimpse of his situation down there.

"I just... came here to apologise for how I had been acting towards you over the past few weeks Y/N," Levi says, trying to make everything less.. awkward?

You just stare at the back of his head. You're way too embarrassed to even breathe at this point. How long was he standing there? How the hell did you not hear him come in? How did you even forget to lock the door before your genius self decided to masturbate?

Levi breaks the silence when you don't say anything. "Y/N...? I'm sorry the door was open and I-..."

"How long were you standing there for?" You ask.

You'd much rather die of a heart attack or something at this moment instead of having to face him. It'd be much easier than having to go through this.

"A while I guess...." He replies, scratching the back of his head.

*bonk*

You throw the first thing that you could reach. It was a purple dildo.

"Hey, Ow!" He mumbles, rubbing the spot where the dildo just hit him.

"AND YOU JUST STOOD THERE WATCHING ME INSTEAD OF LEAVING OR AT LEAST SAYING SOMETHING?!?!" You yell at him, throwing a pillow at his head this time.

"Well, you did moan my name brat!" Levi sasses in response when the pillow hits him.

"Stop throwing things at me brat!" Levi says, turning around on his feet to face you with a glare until he catches the sight of the purple dildo lying near his feet. He bends down to pick it up and smirks at you.

"Or I can just remind you whose name you were just moaning..." He says as he dangles your purple dildo in front of him

"LEVI!" You yell at him again, moving forward and attacking him by throwing everything that is within range at him.

"OKAY SORRY! SORRY!!!" Levi laughs as he dodges everything that's plunged in his direction and he's on the bed in front of you, holding your wrists down.

Your breath hitches in your throat at the close proximity between the two of you and you freeze up.

"I never said I was complaining about it. If anything it's nice to know that you think of me when you touch yourself. Because it just means that I wouldn't have to worry about you liking me back when I ask you out tomorrow" Levi says, letting go of your wrists and booping your nose with his stupid cocky grin before turning around and leaving your room.

"What just... happened..."

You think to yourself as you're left alone in your room, dumbfounded, to say the least.

[writingsfromstarfleet]

James T. Kirk - Reckless

♫ - Son of a Lovin’ Man - Buchanan Brothers

For  @ihascat5​ on Wattpad, I hope this is what you wanted! Thank you lot for reading! Hugs! ♡

The 'T' in James T. Kirk stood for 'Trouble.' Or perhaps 'Tearaway.' Or perhaps 'terribly and irrevocably irresponsible resulting in possibly dying each time he leaves the ship.' It seemed to be any of the three options on any given away mission.

Working in medical aboard the Enterprise, you had met your fair share of injury and disease, it came with the job and with the visitation of new worlds and cultures. Some planets were filled with poisonous animals and plants and you had to deal with the repercussions of it. Sometimes, races were hostile towards new visitors and attacked away teams. What was going to greet yourself and Bones on any day was always a mystery, and you had come to hate the sound of the door opening.

Each time there was talk of beaming down to a new planet, your eyes met Jim's and he just looked down. You hated him going, and he hated that you worried so much when he left, though a small part of his heart warmed at your concern. Each time he would say, 'I'll be fine', and each time you believe him. Not always did he come back unharmed, sometimes a scratch, sometimes a life threatening wound. He was your friend, he was your captain, and more recently you had come to realise a truth you had kept in denial for so long; he was the man you loved.

Sitting at Bones' desk, you were writing away, keeping watch over the med bay whilst he was away with the captain and Spock. Your head was pulled from your work by the dreaded sound, the last sound you wanted to hear in that moment, because it could only mean one thing. The away team was due to arrive back, for certain one of them was injured. Your heart stopped.

"Jim?" your voice came out scared and shocked, as you stared at the state the man was in. He was bleeding around his middle, and Spock and Bones were propping him up, almost dragging him to a bed. Jim could barely walk and he was barely conscious to accompany it. Tearing away from your thoughts, you began to help Bones with Jim, Spock having gone off to the bridge to take charge.

An hour or so of stress, you found yourself sat silently beside Jim's bed, Bones tending to the rest of the paperwork after declining your request to do so.

"I don't think you're in the right mind to carry on working, darlin'. Stay with him." Bones had said, a gentle and caring squeeze to your shoulder before leaving you be.

You found yourself sat very silently, Jim's hand held by yours delicately as though it may shatter at any moment. You'd seen him in some states before, but never had he come this close to death. It was Bones who was responsible for him still being here, and you had a lot to thank the good doctor for. You played with his fingers, entwining your own with his. Looking up, you brushed a stray strand of hair back into place from his forehead, a sad smile gracing your face as your attention focused once more down at your interlocked hands.

"Why do you always have to be so reckless?" You whispered, more so to yourself, a question you felt you just needed to vocalise. You sighed. "Why is it always you?"

"Part of my job" Jim's voice was hoarse and quiet, though he managed a somewhat airy chuckle afterwards, clearly finding humour in the fact he had nearly died not two hours ago.

"Jim.." you trailed off, brows raised in surprise; you hadn't expected him to wake so soon, Bones said he would be out for a fair few hours.

"Y/N, what happened?" He seemed genuinely confused, and you let his hand go, missing the feeling already.

"You," you started, voice dripping with contempt. "You, yet again, almost died on that mission. Why does it always have to be you? Why do you consistently put yourself in harms way?"

"What did I do? I just-"

"What you always do!" You cut him off, standing up and facing away from him. Hearing him struggle to sit up, you spun back round and pushed him back down. "No, stay there. You need rest."

"I need to know why you're so mad, that's what I need to know." Jim's voice was a little higher, a little louder, but still somewhat gentle; he never could find a reason to be mad at you.

"You need to rest first, Captain." Captain, you never called him that. He was always Jim, never was he addressed as Captain. He knew something was wrong.

"I need to know why it's such an issue for me to end up here, you don't fret over other people that land themselves in here, not to this extent. So quite clearly there's something wrong here."

"Yes, I don't love those people." What you said did not register in your brain at first, until you saw Jim's eyes widen and his mouth open slightly. Only then did you realise exactly what you had said. Backtracking, you decided, was useless. Instead, you tried to apologise.

"I, uh, well, I just.. umm.."

"Y/N," Jim cut you off, voice now soft. He held out his hand as far as he could. "Sit down."

Cautiously and rather embarrassed, you sat down again and tried to look anywhere but Jim's eyes. Ultimately, you had failed. As you looked up, your eyes met his and he smiled at you. Despite the anxiety and awkwardness you felt, you never could resist smiling back at him; Jim's smile was infectious. Jim chuckled.

"Are you alright?" His question wasn't unkind, though delivered through a series of small laughs. He could see you were anxious.

"Well, I, I don't.. I.. Look, I'm sor-"

Your words were cut short as Jim pulled you closer, and ignored all the pain in his torso to sit up and engulf you in a hug. With nowhere else to put your hands, you moved to the edge of the bed and wrapped your arms around his neck.

"No apology necessary."

Pulling back, you looked into Jim's eyes and saw them twinkle, their usual charm accompanied by a loving glint. You caught him looking down at your lips briefly, and stopped him with a finger to his own before he had the chance to kiss you.

"Do you promise you'll think more about your own safety and possibly consider coming back unharmed every once in a while? I don't know what I'd do if I lost you, Jim. You're always so reckless, so blasé about the idea of danger, I fear one day Mr Spock will return alone."

He smiled at you, appreciating just how much you cared, taking your hand in his while the other rested on your knee.

"I promise I'll always come back to you, Y/N. Always."

And then he kissed you.