#and then write ‘no changes’ at the top of the document’ just so the guy would stop bitching

[adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy]

Drea full rundown of how's work

Now that I’ve been here almost 2 weeks, I’ve started getting the hang of it!! I get rotated around different clinics and some of them are way more busy than others (like the one I was at today was super slow, we got like 13 ppl in total the whole day, while the one I was at yesterday we saw 70 people and it was hectic asf 😭)

But tbh they aren’t paying me enough for what they make me do 💀 like I thought it was just a receptionist job where I talk about the plans and packages the clinic sells but tell me why they have me doing metrics and cleaning the entire fucking clinic on my own 🫥 i essentially run everything while the doctor just chills in the back room and only comes out to adjust people

So aside from making sure every patient has updated paperwork, having to do metrics reports, payment plans, making all the calls every day, and scanning all the shit into the system, I’m also sweeping, vacuuming, mopping, and disinfecting the whole clinic. And they only have one front desk person at any given clinic at a time so I have to jump back and forth between essentially being a maid and a receptionist 💀 like I’ll be cleaning and someone comes in so I have to stop and run to the front to get them checked in and then wait for them to leave to keep cleaning 😭 all of this…for $13 an hour. CAN U BELIEVE!!!!!

But it’s so difficult to find a job rn so I don’t really have a choice 🔪

[deansbeer]

kari yaps. another dean blurb comin' ur way! 'cause i'm having WAY too much fun with writing 'em !!! originally, when this was sitting in my drafts, it was supposed t'be a full fic, but it wasn't coming out like i wanted it to, so i made it a blurb :p

warning(s) fluffy fluff fluff | implied shower sex | dean 'n his lil camera | reading gettin' a lil emotional. ୨୧

📖 JACKLES library.

DEAN WINCHESTER was never really a 'stuff' guy. his life was all about function over form, about practicality, especially when it came to hunting. but one day, on a whim—or maybe because he'd been thinking about it longer than he wanted to admit—he bought a camera. not just any camera, either, but a $5000, top-of-the-line DSLR that he told himself he'd use to take pictures of all the places he and sam traveled to when they were on hunts. you know, a way to document the life he lived beyond the blood and gore, something to look back on that wasn't just a blur of monster and mayhem.

he didn't tell you about it at first. the camera just kind of appeared one day, tucked inside his duffle, and when you asked him about it, he looked a little embarrassed. "just thought it'd be nice to take some pictures of the scenery," he said with a shrug, like it wasn't a big deal. and maybe to him, it wasn't. at least, not in the way you thought.

but instead of snapping pictures of the rundown motels and backroads they traveled for work, dean found himself using the camera for something else entirely.

it wasn't until the two of you went on a mini-vacation, a week-long stay at a beach resort that you'd been talking about for years, that he really started to use it. you love the beach—always have. there's something about the sound of the waves, the feel of the sand beneath your feet, the salty breeze tangling in your hair, that makes you feel calm. and dean, well, he loves seeing you that way. relaxed, happy, at peace. so while you were busy soaking in the sun, or wading into the water, or just staring off into the distance with that little smile on your face, he was busy capturing it all.

you didn't know, of course. dean was sneaky like that. he didn't make a big show of it, didn't tell you to 'pose' or 'smile.' he just… watched you, quietly, through the lens, snapping photos of you when you weren't paying attention. and when you finally did notice him with the camera, he'd flash you that cocky grin of his and say something like, "just taking pictures of the view."

a few days later, after one of those long, lazy showers you and dean sometimes took together (the kind that weren't just about getting clean, if you know what i mean), that you stumbled upon a little secret of his. he stayed back in the bathroom, washing off a little longer, and you were sitting on the edge of the bed, feeling that post-shower glow, when you noticed a small album tucked underneath a pile of clothes in his black duffle.

curious, you pulled it out, flipping through the pages, and your breath caught in your throat. it wasn't just pictures of random places he'd been on hunts. it was you. photo after photo of you. at the beach, of course, but also in moments you didn't even realize he'd been watching—laughing, lost in thought, maybe even sleeping. and the pictures weren't just good; they were stunning. like, they looked like something out of a magazine, the kind of photos you'd see in a vogue or some fancy travel magazine.

you couldn't believe he'd taken them.

before he could catch you snooping, you quickly put the album back where you found it, heart racing a little, and changed into your pajamas, trying to act like nothing had happened. but the pictures stayed on your mind, even as you and dean curled up in bed and ordered some room service to cap off the night.

after that, you never mentioned it to him. you didn't want to make a big deal out of it, though you kind of wanted to. instead, you found yourself sneaking the camera for your own little adventures. when dean was out or distracted, you'd pull it from his bag and take a few selfies, figuring out how to use the thing. at first, it was a little tricky—those cameras are no joke—but with a little patience, you got the hang of it. you never did anything scandalous, just some cute pictures of yourself, and then you'd put it back in its place before dean could notice it was gone.

and he never did. at least, not until one night in your shared apartment. you were in the kitchen, snacking on some chocolate-covered strawberries dean had picked up on his way home from a hunt (because, in his words, they reminded him of you), and you were nose-deep in a romance novel you'd been dying to read. you heard him walking down the hallway, but you didn't think much of it. you were too wrapped up in your book and your snack, the perfect cozy day in.

what you didn't realize was that dean had found out about your little secret. he'd been going through the camera, checking out some new shots he'd taken, when he stumbled upon your selfies. not just the recent ones, either—he found all of them.

so when he came into the kitchen, camera in hand, he wasn't mad. in fact, he had this look on his face—kind of amused, kind of in awe. "so, you've been stealing my camera, huh?" he asked, a grin tugging at the corners of his lips.

you looked up at him, mouth full of strawberry, and gave him your cheekiest smile. "maybe," you said.

he didn't mind, though. if anything, he seemed impressed that you'd managed to sneak past him without him noticing. but later that same night, as you were getting ready for bed, you noticed something on his bedside table—a second album, smaller than the one you'd found before.

curiosity piqued again, you opened it up, and what you saw made your heart melt. dean had taken all the photos from the other album and added more—your selfies, the pictures he'd taken of you, everything. but this time, he'd decorated the pages with little stickers and captions in his messy, but endearing, handwriting. things like 'my beautiful girl,' 'my little mermaid,' 'my baby going for a swim.'

tears welled up in your eyes as you flipped through the pages, overwhelmed by how sweet and thoughtful it all was.

before you could even process it fully, you felt dean's arms wrap around you from behind, his bare chest warm against your back. you turned around in his embrace, wrapping your arms around his neck and peppering kisses all over his face. "you really did all this for me?" you asked softly.

he nodded, his expression soft and sincere. "yeah, baby. wanted somethin' to remember you by when i'm out on hunts. somethin' special."

he even told you that he kept one of your selfies in his wallet, and that he loved showing it off to anyone who'd listen—sam, other hunters, whoever. "you're my girl," he said, pride in his voice.

and you couldn't help but smile wide, knowing that, no matter where the road took him, DEAN WINCHESTER was always thinking of you.

… his pretty girl.

[xlatiwritesx]

hi there hope you're having a great day! it's my first time requesting in general and was wondering if i can request lando norris imagine? after both him and the reader decided to hard launch on social media, he brought her to the race for the 1st time and fans absolutely adore her in general. hope this makes sense thank you sm! (reader is a very private person in general)

Mine, Not Theirs | LN4

A/N: sorry if it took me long, but thank you for this request, Anon! This is so cute 😞❤️‍🩹. I hope you like it!!

Genera: Fluff

Words: 1.9K

Pairing: Lando Norris x Fem!Reader

…

"OH MY GODDDDD"

"So she is the one"

"Now we know the reason behind all the smiles during this season's races"

You smiled at all the comments left under Lando's post. You were sat on your hotel room’s bed, hugging your knees and smiling like an idiot at your phone for the past hour.

"Had I known you'd be smiling like this, I would've hard launched us sooner" you heard him speak, but your eyes kept staring at your picture that he posted. The picture that sent the internet into a spiral.

It was simple, you kissing Lando where you assumed his lips would be under his helmet, holding the sides of it. It was all loud and clear. Your smile on your exposed face, his name and number on the helmet. His McLaren suit. It was all out for the world to see, and it made your heart twist in the happiest ways.

"Hey, so" Lando walked closer to you, resting down on the edge of the bed and finally having your attention.

"Now that the whole world knows, I want you to come to races with me, starting with tomorrow’s" he confessed. Your smile slowly faded and you looked away from him.

He knew proposing such a thing when you've just publicized your relationship wouldn't be easy for you. You weren't the most outgoing or the best at dealing with all the press and fame that came from being with someone like Lando.

You looked back at him and saw him already losing hope. You had to try. He deserved at least that. He's been nothing but respectful and supportive of your wishes to keep your relationship private, but now things changed. You wanted to try for him just like he did for you.

"Okay" you said simply, not tearing your eyes from him to watch his reaction. He looked at you blankly.

"Wait, really?" A smile broke on his face. You nodded.

"Like 'hey guys this is the love of my life joining me for today's race' okay?" He asked again, carefully. You laughed and nodded again to reassure him.

"Yes!" He punched the air and you stood up, still laughing.

"Finally" he spread his arms, looking up at the ceiling.

After enjoying Lando's little celebration, you ran to your suitcase. You had to find something to wear. This was the first time anyone would see you. Not to mention the entire world.

A dress? Pants and a shirt? Classy? Casual?

You sat in the pile of your clothes, finding something suitable. Your eyes landed on a white top. Denim mini skirt. You narrowed your eyes. Smiled.

"These two with Lando’s McLaren bumper jacket" you announced to no one but yourself.

The next day, you started getting ready for the race. You curled your hair, did your light make up to perfection, and put on the outfit you picked out the night before.

You got in the car with Lando who was fully aware of your nerves ever since you woke up. He held your hand and that was enough to boost your confidence.

When you reached the circuit, your heart began beating at a dangerous speed. Lando's hand tightened around yours and he looked at you before getting out of the car. You could already see the many reporters there to document everyone's arrival. Your breath got heavier.

"Hey. Eyes on me, okay?" Lando whispered softly. You looked into his eyes and relaxed a little.

"No matter what anyone writes on those stupid platforms, you're mine, not theirs, okay? I'm proud you're the one I'm brining to today's race" he reassured you, hoping it would make you feel even more relaxed. He knew what it was like to be under the spotlight and having his every move scrutinized. It can get hard at times.

You smiled and looked down. He kissed your cheek before opening the car door, the commotion outside no longer muffled.

"Let's go" he ushered and you followed. Still holding his hand.

Even though it was very much light out, the camera flashes were still blinding. You kept your head down because it would've been overwhelming to look straight ahead. You held on to Lando's hand as he lead you to the paddock.

Once inside, you finally look up at the many faces there. Drivers, their families, managers, friends, girlfriends.

Some smiled. Some scrutinized. One Aussie accent cheered.

"Hey!" He greeted excitedly, opening his arms wide to give you a hug. You quickly let go of Lando's hand and hug Oscar.

"It's finally good to see you here" he said excitedly when you pull away. You smiled at him, eternally grateful for making you feel so welcome.

"Thanks, Oscar" you replied shyly. You could feel Lando beaming next to you.

"He goes crazy when you're not around. All he talks about is you. Hopefully he won’t be so annoying today since you’re here" he lowers his voice, playfully punching his teammates arm next to you. You laugh.

Oscar starts talking to Lando about the track and what to be expected. Lando wraps an arm around your waist and you listen to them talk.

It's a miracle that you were actually into the races and Formula 1 in general. You wouldn't have lasted too long with Lando if you weren't. It was his career after all, so naturally it was what he talked about most.

“Okay. We gotta get to the cars now. Shit’s about to get serious” Oscar clapped. Lando nodded and looked at you.

“You’ll be good here? Or you want to watch the race in the garage?” He asked you gently. You looked around at the drivers leaving, all their friends and family choosing to stay at the paddock. You turned to him and smiled.

“I’ll be fine around here. Maybe get to know some new people” you told him and he nodded letting go of your hand to hold your face and kiss you cheek.

You blushed as he walked away, turning to wave at you one last time.

“Take care, Lan!” You yelled and he turned to face you, walking backwards for a few steps.

“Anything for you, my love!” He shouted back, causing people to look. Your heart raced, but your eyes were only on him as he turned back around to continue walking next to Oscar.

You sigh, hoping people would actually be nice. Walking around the paddock, you feel someone tap your shoulder. You turn quickly, faced with a girl a little too pretty.

“First time around here?” She asks. You smile and nod.

“Great! I get to show you around!” She says excitedly, pulling your arm and walking inside.

You’re welcomed by about 5 more faces around a table. People your age. Girls. You felt overwhelmed by their stares, but you promised to give this whole thing a chance.

“We’ve got a McLaren girlfriend everyone!” She announces and everyone starts cheering. You laugh at how silly it seemed, yet so sweet.

“I’m Lily by the way, your co-McLaren-girlfriend” she finally introduces herself. Your smile widens, feeling a sense of belonging somehow.

Lily guides you to the table with five chairs already occupied, you and her filling the sixth and seventh spots. Everyone seemed to be your age. Maybe one or two years younger or older.

“First race nerves?” Another girl asked, taking a sip from her glass. You nodded, still smiling.

“We were all there. It all seems intimidating at first, the cameras, the questions, the race itself!” Another one continued. You frowned a little, nodding along.

You realized you hadn’t said a single word. You really weren’t the best at small talk, but you owed it to them to at least say a yes or no.

“I’m Y/N, by the way” you said finally and they all smiled, acknowledging that new piece of information.

“You should he added to our group chat. We find each other every race day, catch up and have some free food, you know” Lily nudged you and you laughed a little. You hand her your phone, allowing her to do whatever.

When she hands it back to you, you see that you’ve been added to a group chat titled “the gas station ⚡️”. You frown in confusion and look up at them.

“The gas station?” You raise a brow and some of them laugh.

“We give them fuel, now don’t we girls?” One of them raised her brow and you just covered your face and laughed. A little too hard.

“We’ve got the same sense of humor. We’ll go a long way” a girl on your right patted your back as you collected yourself.

“Ugh” you sigh, finally able to hold in your laughter.

When the race starts, you come completely undone. Screaming with everyone and hugging anyone around when necessary. Lando finishes with P-3 and you couldn’t wait to celebrate that with him at the podium.

“You get to celebrate on the podium!” Some of the girls scream and it was just then that you realize how amazing this whole experience has been.

These girls have never met you in their lives, your boyfriend just won against all their boyfriends and they had every reason to be full of themselves, but they were nothing but sweet and lovely to you, making you feel so welcome and for the first time ever since you started dating Lando, you find someone who’d be as excited for him as you. Because they know what’s it like to watch the love of your life win at something he’s passionate about.

“Go go go!” They push you out so you could get to the podium for celebration.

You all get to the track to celebrate with your significant others. You spot a pretty face and curly hair in the crowd. For once, you really don’t care that everyone’s watching. That this could be on live television. You just run, jumping in his arms. He holds you tightly, spinning you around as his sweet laughter fills your ears, muting any other possible sound around you.

When Lando finally puts you down, you basically scream in his face.

“P-3, Lan! That was amazing!” He laughs at your reaction and you laugh with him.

“I knew you were here. I couldn’t let you down” he says and you hug him tightly. He hugs you back.

“You’re my everything. I do this for you” he says, only loud enough for you to hear. You close your eyes, praying your heart won’t explode from pure happiness and content.

Had you just known how amazing everyone would be, you would’ve come sooner. Had you known how much it meant to Lando, you would’ve come even sooner.

You pull away and kiss him, making up for all the time you spent feeling nervous. For not shouting about this from the rooftops. For staying behind on all the fun and welcoming, lovely souls you you met today.

“It seems that today’s race gets a fairytale ending for Lando Norris and his girlfriend Y/N Y/L/N”

[flippinpancakes64]

This may be a weird request, but can you do The Cullens x Cat like! Reader, the reader just scratches at random things? And just very grumpy.

The Cullens with a Cat-Like! Reader

Hello! As a cat owner myself I feel pretty prepared to answer this so hopefully it’s good

Also, I’m going to be moving into my dorm room soon! I’m so excited and kinda scared too, but what that means for you guys here is that I might not be able to write as much. I’ll be sure to keep you all updated though!

Thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoy!

Edward:

He doesn’t immediately connect your behavior to a cat

He hasn’t been around too many of them tbh

The first time he tried to give you a hug and you batted him away, he was shocked

Just sort of stood there like 😟

He thinks it’s cute when you’re grumpy though

He likes to just sit next to you and smile until you give in and cuddle with him

And you can scratch him all you like, if you want

It’ll hurt you more than it hurts him so go for it

Alice:

She’s vaguely cat-like in her own regard

Graceful, quiet, beautiful

She got all the good parts I guess

She’s definitely the first one to call you a grumpy kitty

It happens when you’re a little annoyed and she comes in for a kiss only for you to twist your head away

She giggles and calls you her grump cat

She learns your limits pretty quick

But she still pushes you a little ❤️

And as long as you don’t scratch at her clothes she doesn’t care

Jasper:

In public you would think he’s more cat-like

Quiet, reserved, on edge

But in private he is a golden retriever

He loves to cuddle, thrives on your attention, and just wants you to be happy

You two are opposites

But he can tell when you’re just being annoying/having fun versus when you’re actually upset

And he’s really good at respecting your boundaries

If you don’t want to cuddle, don’t worry he can go do something else

And as far as scratching at things, you do you

Rosalie:

Cat girl

She doesn’t like to be smothered all of the time

And sometimes she wants to be inside of your skin

And she’s very vocal about when she wants her space

If you’re too close, she pushes you away

And if she wants attention she is all over you

So you two compliment each other perfectly

It’s pretty great actually

Only she doesn’t scratch

Unless she’s pissed at something

Then she might to break a tree or two

Two peas in the cat tree over here

Emmett:

Complete opposite

If Jasper is half golden retriever this man is pure-bred

He wants to cuddle, he wants kisses, he needs to be around you 24/7

He doesn’t care if you’re grumpy

He thinks it’s kinda funny actually

He loves when he lifts you up into a hug and you just hang there with a frown on your face

He acts fake offended when you scratch him tho

“What’d I do to deserve that, grumpy?”

Esme:

She gets a little hurt sometimes

When she comes in for a hug and you push her away

Or bat away her face when she comes in for a kiss

Or if you scratch at her arm

And when you’re grumpy even thought you don’t seem to have a reason

But then sometimes you come right up to her and hold her so tight

And other times you just come up next to her and latch onto her

She’s getting whiplash

Just more confused than anything

Her first thought is that she did something to upset you

Please be nice to her :(

Carlisle:

He doesn’t take anything personally

He doesn’t want to change anything about you or make you feel bad for the way that you are

So he doesn’t care if you push him away or turn your face from him

That’s just how you are

Same deal if you go from wanting seemingly nothing to do with him to all of a sudden sitting in his lap

He also doesn’t care if you scratch shit

He only cares if it’s really important stuff

Like documents he needs or vintage items that are one of a kind

Vampire! Bella:

She has some of these traits as well

She doesn’t like to be smothered all of the time

And other times she likes to lay on top of you

So you are both pretty similar in that regard

Only difference is the scratching really

And even then she doesn’t really mind

In fact, once you started doing it, she started scratching stuff too

Yall have fun outside scratching the trees

And if Bella knocks a couple of them over… that’s for you two to know the forest rangers to never find out

[night-dazai]

I keep giving myself baby fever

Hear me out.

Bsd men got a breeding kink-

BSD MEN BREEDING KINK : 

Hey, I feel like this is not so complete cause this is the first time I am writing about breeding kink, forgive me if there are mistakes and point them out so I can correct them on later works. Thank you for the request cause it is a wonderful one

I also did not check this for spelling and grammar errors

Dazai : 

To this man he has never kept his hands off you and never will.

One day as he was mindless watching some reels he saw a few baby reels “What will y/n’s kid with me look like “ his mind thought and thats the end of you . 

Every night senseless fucking you raw “Bella..want a kid..” he would plead. 

But deep down he felt he does not deserve one, but once he has tried fucking you raw . yep. no changing his mind he wants a kid .

He wants to see you belly bulge with his kid , but makes sure you also agree to it . 

He feels sacred some nights thinking of what can happen if he has a lot of weakness cause one of them is you , all precious people near him all dead yet you are here to hold his hand at every step . 

And let him fuck your cunt till it leaks cum “ you look soo lovely like this darling , like a painting “ he says licking the mixture “one more pleasee “ he asks with his doe eyes. 

The moment the pregnancy is confirmed, yep he is shocked

"Its like a pea " he says looking the documents, man becomes so overprotective makes sure you are always with someone from the agency and nerve alone .

He loves to lay his head on your tummy and talk to the baby " baby , it has been 178 days since you are in you mom's tummy hows it in there ?" " Baby your dad is being bullied bu your mom " he would also complain to it .

Boy is overjoyed he first runs to tell Oda " I am starting my own family " his voice breaks as the gentle breeze makes his hair sway he keeps talking to him while you holding his form falling down.

He knows how dangerous it is for you and the baby now and his mind just starts planning everything from birth to every single thing to do to keep the baby safe.

Chuuya : 

Boy , now first step its you who brings up this topic , to him he is blessed enough to feel human due to your presence but he is a man who is never overly greedy. 

A kid ? his kid ? when you tell him this you see wet eyes and trembling hands “ but its dangerous i am dangerous “ he says . 

It takes a lot more time than Dazai to convince this redhead, but once he is conceived he is the most sweetest guy . 

He would treat you like its the first time you are having sex , being all sweet and making sure you feel alright. 

All the rough sex is out of the window (unless you beg for it )

He cums inside and uses his thick fingers to pump it back in “Now now be a good girl “ he would whisper sweet things into your ears . 

One day he would suddenly come home with tons of baby clothes and toys and posters “ chu what is this ?” you asked confused “ i liked it bought it “ he says happily smiling like a kid . 

Big rich has its perks, he gets you regularly checked up , men make sure your health if on top it, and no one in the mafia is allowed near you .

He is like a guard dog barking at anyone trying to even look at your direction,and night after night of sweet love once pregnancy is confirmed.

He cries, he cries in front of everyone in his office (well you tell him in his office with the scanned images ) . 

Good luck with more pampering 

Kunikida: 

This man , has everything planned from the moment he sleeps eats and takes a bath , maye even even he breathes. 

But sex, family, and lifelong partner are also in his book . 

I am sure he will find it hard to find a person who fits all his ideals and you might be someone who fits 2 or 3 of them (or even none)

You guys having sex is also scheduled in his book as a relaxing time (call caps )

He is a top , gentle, sweet , always wears and condom and all okay good fine . 

You were someone who wanted some spicy and thats how one day when he comes home all stressed you give him your present. 

A tight red lingerie, lifting your breasts a bit a cut leaving your sweet buds open and you holding your legs wide open saying “ welcome “. 

He snaps, there is no way he is holding back from this treat , his rthurs hard and pace fast , he becomes all grabby. 

As he feels his dick twitching he realises he ahs no condom “ shit “ he mumbles and try to pull out “ stay “ you say pulling his neck and kissing him while the other hand pushes his dick back deeper . 

The man relases inside you feeling something new , his eyes wide chest heaving he looks down seeing his cum drip down your tighs on the sheets.

Licking his cum mixed with yours “ it felt nice right ?” you ask trying to get up and wash when a hand stops you . 

“More “ he says tone very firm he is going back in , he is too out of it , his mind seeing images of a mini you running around the house 

Seeing your belly big, he lost it and you knew it cause his eyes looked soo lust full “ sure babe” 

After all the steamy stuff is over man is weight down with his thoughts, keeps saying sorry while you are smiling at him “ its fine “.

“Of course it is not” he says , his job is not extremely dangerous but alos not very safe , he does not ever want to see anyone die . 

You were strong to protect yourself but what about a kid ? his mind is too messed when you kiss his hands.

“ It will all be fine relax ,we can take care “ and that when it hits him “ you want a baby ?” his voice trembles he asks while you nod shyly. 

Good luck cause once it is decided every night you guys have to RELAX and the next day, you better ask for a long vacation if you are working cause this man is going to work overtime on you .

Once it is confirmed that you are pregnant " from now on all your lazy schedule is out of the roof " he says sternly.

Makes you eat health food, and makes you do yoga for fitness you can whine and cry but you are doing them " no more fooling around its time for you to eat your vitamin tablets "

He will try his best to spend more and more time with you guys and read books as to "what to tell a baby while it's in the stomach " he looks like a ring master telling the baby moral value stories but you can see the affection and nervous this man is hiding.

[daisynik7]

Résumé

Pairing: Eren x f!reader

Rating: Explicit - MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Word Count: ~2.7k

cw: porn without plot, implications of cheating, office sex, boss x employee power dynamic, potentially corrupt business practices, sexually explicit content/smut – PIV sex (doggy, cowgirl), cunnilingus, fingering, sex without a condom, dirty talk, degrading language, lingerie

Summary: Today is your anniversary and unfortunately, your husband forgot. Luckily, there’s a potential new hire you’re interviewing who will surely appreciate the special lingerie you’re wearing. Author’s Notes: This is partially inspired by this incredible soundgasm I listened to (listener discretion is advised, put your headphones on before you listen!), but I changed up a few details. Reblogs and/or comments are ALWAYS appreciated! Hearing directly from you is highly encouraging and keeps me motivated to keep writing! Thank you for reading! Divider created by @/saradika!

There’s a knock on your door. You sit at the desk in your office, glancing at the bottom left corner of the computer screen, checking the time: 12:05 PM. He’s late. The potential new hire you’re interviewing today was supposed to arrive by noon. If you weren’t already in a bad mood, you’d dismiss it. 

Today is your wedding anniversary. Half the day has passed, and your husband still has not mentioned anything about it. At this rate, you’d bet money that he forgot. He’s messaging you like normal, no indication that he remembers this special occasion. You could be the bigger person and gently remind him. In his defense, he’s been stressed at his job, and sure, it’s easy for things to slip in his jumbled mind. But your wedding anniversary? How could he forget that? 

A second knock comes. You refocus your attention to work, burying your marital dilemma in the back of your mind. “Come in,” you respond, patting flat any wrinkles on your blouse.

In comes a handsome man, brunette hair tied into a fashionably messy bun, outfitted in a dark suit and tie, a light pink dress shirt underneath. He flashes you a smile, still holding the handle, closing the door. “Sorry I’m late. No one was out there to assist me, so I got a little lost finding your office.”

You clear your throat, shuffling the stack of papers in front of you, momentarily taken aback by his striking appearance. “I sent everyone to lunch, so it’s just you and me in here.”

“I see.” The grin remains on his face as he reaches into his backpack, passing you a sheet of paper. “Here’s my résumé.” He takes a seat in the sofa chair facing you, setting his bag on the floor next to him. 

You scan the document quickly, starting from the top, reading aloud the first couple of lines. Your mind keeps wandering to your husband, so you fail to retain any of the information shared on that piece of paper. At the end, you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose.

“Are you alright?” he asks, leaning forward in his seat.

“I’m just…I’m a little distracted right now. My mind is all over the place and I didn’t prepare for this interview. I’m so sorry.”

“That’s okay. We all have stuff we’re dealing with. Do you want to talk about it?” He looks at you with concern in his eyes. More emotion than what your husband has given you all day. At least this guy sees you. 

You lay his résumé to the side, setting your palms flat on the surface. “Well, I’m not sure how appropriate it is for me to tell you this.”

He smirks. “Hey, I won’t say a word. Everything said in here is between you and me…boss.” 

You raise a brow at him. “Promise to keep it a secret?” He nods, miming a key locking his mouth shut and tossing it over his shoulder. 

“Well, my no-good husband forgot that today is our anniversary.”

His eyes widen, surprised. “Wow. Really?”

“Yup.”

Scoffing, he replies, “What an asshole. How could he forget that?”

“You tell me.” You relax into the seat, feeling more at ease with him listening to you with intrigue. “You want to know what the worst part is?”

“Tell me.”

“I’m wearing something special for him right now, and I won’t even be able to show it off.”

The bump in his throat bobs, swallowing hard. “Something special?”

“Mm-hm,” you hum, propping your elbow on the desk, knuckles tucked under your chin. “How awful, right?”

He sinks back into the chair, crossing his ankle over his knee. You do your best not to glance at his crotch, prominently displayed in this position. “Very. That prick doesn’t deserve to see you in that.”

You gaze at each other, the sexual tension thick and heavy in the air. Before you get carried away, you snap out of it and retrieve his résumé, clearing your throat. “Anyways, you’re definitely qualified for the job, based on your skills and previous experience.”

“That’s nice to hear.”

“Are there any other skills you have that you didn’t include here?”

He smirks. “I have quite a few, but it wouldn’t be appropriate to list them on a formal document.”

“Oh?” You eye him curiously. “Can you tell me one of them?”

He thinks for a couple of seconds, choosing his words carefully. “I’m really good at appreciating people.”

This catches you off guard. You weren’t expecting an answer like this. “Appreciating…? Can you elaborate?”

He strokes his chin, contemplating before explaining, “Well, for example, I know that I can truly appreciate that special something you’re wearing. More than your lousy husband can.” There’s a wicked smirk forming at his lips. 

You give him a small laugh, amused by his response. “Oh yeah?”

He shifts in his seat, biting his lower lip, nodding. “If I was your husband, I’d fucking worship you.”

You squeeze your thighs together, pussy throbbing between your legs, aroused. Heat rushes into your cheeks, flustered by this sudden turn of events. This is bad. Very, very bad. You’re married and today is your anniversary, the last thing you should ever do is cheat on your husband with this random stranger. Especially one that you’re interviewing to hire. You’re better than this. 

On the other hand, he hasn’t bothered to call you today to wish you a happy anniversary. Based on this, it doesn’t seem like he cares about the sanctity of marriage, so why should you? You have this man before you, actually willing to appreciate you. And, with the office empty, who would know if you stepped into the dark side just this once?

With your decision made, you stand up, stepping towards him, leaning against the front of your desk. He watches you attentively, waiting in anticipation for you to make the first move. You start to undo the top button of your blouse, asking, “Do you really think you can keep this a secret, Eren?”

The sound of his name on your sultry lips has his cock twitching beneath his slacks, aching to be touched. “I definitely can,” he answers, gulping down the spit collecting in his salivating mouth.

You slide your skirt down, slowly revealing your sheer thong, outlined in black lace, embroidered with a delicate floral pattern across the mesh fabric. His eyes are carnal at the sight, watching your little strip tease intently. Twirling to reveal the backside, you turn your head to see his reaction. He bites his fist, gaze focused on your bare ass, the string of lingerie nestled between your cheeks.

He curses under his breath, running his fingers through his hair, nervous and excited. “You’ve been wearing this all day?”

You unbutton the rest of your top, matching bra gradually coming into view. “All day long. It was supposed to be a surprise for my husband, but I guess it’ll be a special treat for you instead.”

“Lucky me.” He licks his lips when you shrug your top off, lingerie on full display now. His expression is hazy with lust, eyeing you up and down repeatedly, letting this image of you sink into his brain, cock strained inside his pants, desperate for release. He can’t take it anymore; he needs you. 

“Sit there and spread your legs for me,” he demands, getting up from his chair to tower over you. Following his command, you hop on, ass pressed to the smooth laminate, thighs splayed for him. “I’m going to give you what you deserve.”

He bends down, grazing his lips on the embroidered flowers. Chuckling, he tips his chin up to peer at you. “You’re such a fucking slut, wearing this to the office. What would your employees say if they find out about this?”

You smirk at him, tugging his hair with your fist, shoving him closer to your pussy. “They won’t. This is our little secret, remember?”

His laughter vibrates against you as he sucks on your clit through your panties, the fabric thin enough to feel him on you. “Whatever you say, boss.” He laps at your bud until your underwear is wet with his drool, shiny with your cum. With his thumb, he teases your entrance, slipping past the thin string of your thong. 

“Fuck, Eren,” you swear, throwing your head back. 

“I love it when you say my name,” he muffles, fingers now gripping your panties to the side, eating you out sloppily. He pulls off to dribble his thick saliva on you, latching on again to smear it on your clit. His thumb is pressed to your entrance, prodding into your slippery cunt ever-so-slightly. You climax, his lips puckered tight on your puffy bud, suckling relentlessly until his thumb is coated in your cum. 

“Look at this creamy pussy. All for me.” He runs his tongue along your sticky mess, collecting it in his mouth to swallow. You lower your legs, draping them over the edge of the table, weak and unsteady from the intense orgasm. He straightens up to kiss you, lips glossy with your cum. After a few more clumsy kisses, he peels off your lingerie, rolling it over your skin until it’s coiled in on itself down at your ankles, bunching it in his fist. “These are all ruined now. Your husband will never see these. It’s for me and only me.” He places it in his pocket, then sits on the sofa chair, patting his thighs, beckoning you to sit. Before you do, he quickly unbuckles his belt and unzips, letting his pants drop around his ankles as he whips his hard dick out.

You step towards him, straddling his lap, nodding, “Only for you.”

He cups your cheek, thumb gently brushing your skin. “Forget about him. Focus on me. It’s our day now, isn’t it?”

The low growl in his voice has you mesmerized. “Yes. Oh god, yes.” It’s all so wrong, but in this moment, you don’t care. All you can think about is being bounced on his cock, milking him until you’re stuffed full of his load. So much that it spills and stains the cushions, a constant reminder of the obscenities that are about to occur in this office.

“You’re so fucking wet for me,” he says, glancing at your arousal. “Bet your husband never ate you out like that. Has he ever fucked you in this office before?”

Desperate to feel more of him, you grind your hips, eagerly watching his pretty cock ooze with precum from the tip. “Never.” You reach behind you to unclasp your bra, revealing your breasts to him. 

“Fuck, so I’m really the first to christen it. Already putting me to work, huh?” Fingers wrapped around his shaft, he taps the head of his cock on your clit, laughing when you whine from the contact. He rubs it across your swollen bud, his other hand fondling your tits, thumb caressing your peaked nipples. 

“Oh fuck,” you groan, gripping his shoulders to lift yourself onto him. “I want it, Eren. Give it to me.”

“So eager, can’t even wait,” he grunts, lowering you onto him, cursing when your pussy squeezes his length. “Fuck.”

You ride him slowly, his hands grasping your waist, guiding you lazily while you do most of the work. He fits perfectly inside your wet cunt, gliding in smoothly with each bounce, hitting your sweet spot deeper and deeper. Your tongue hangs out of your mouth, drool leaking from the corners of your lips, fucked-out and in total bliss.

“My new boss is being such a slut for me. Is this what you expect when you hire me? For me to fuck you stupid every day until you’re leaking from all your holes? You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” He skims your lips with his thumb, wiping away your spit. 

“Fuck, Eren! Yes, I want that!” you cry out, the chair creaking beneath you as you spring up and down. 

“I bet your husband doesn’t know how much of a fucking whore you are. You nasty slut.” He pulls you closer to him, mouth hot on your ear. “He doesn’t deserve you. Doesn’t deserve this gorgeous fucking pussy.” He holds you snug, thrusting his hips up in tandem with you. You come like this, cradled in his arms, coating his cock in your slick. You catch your breath, relaxing on top of him. 

Nuzzling his nose on your cheek, he asks, “Are you okay?”

You smile, giggling softly. “Yeah.”

“Good. Because I’m not done with you yet.”

Soon, you’re bent over your desk, being pounded by him from behind. His and your moans echoing off the walls of your office, along with the wet slaps of his pelvis smacking your ass. “Fuck! Right there!”

“You’re so fucking bad, cheating on your husband with me. Letting me fuck this unfaithful pussy,” he growls, slamming his hips against you. “If he were me, I’d fuck you so good you wouldn’t even think about anyone else. Make it so that you’re addicted to this cock. Can’t go a single day without it balls deep inside you.”

He continues to spit filth at you, firing backshot after backshot until you orgasm again, this time with him, spilling every last drop of his load inside you. He slowly pulls out, moaning when he sees his warm cum gush from your slit. “God, that was amazing,” he says, grabbing the tissue box next to your computer, wiping the mess dripping down your legs. 

You’re too exhausted to respond coherently, crumpled on the desk, listening to him pick up all the discarded clothing scattered on the carpet. When he’s done changing into his professional attire, he slides his hands around your waist, carefully hoisting you up into a standing position with him behind you. “You okay, sweetie?”

You crane your neck to kiss him, smiling. “Mm-hm.”

He offers to put on your clothes, first the bra, then the blouse, one sleeve at a time. Squatting down to help you step into your skirt, he slaps your ass playfully. You have no choice but to go commando, your ruined panties still in his pocket. The two of you look at each other, giggling at your glazed expressions from the aftermath of sex. You reach towards him, fixing his collar. He flips his wrist, checking the time on his watch. “I should probably head out now. It’ll take me a while to get to the other side of the building.”

“Yeah, and you know how Levi gets.” You wrap your arms around your husband’s shoulders, giving him a smooch on the cheek. “You’ll never hear the end of it if you’re late for the interview.”

“I’ll blame you then,” he smirks. “Besides, I’m a shoo-in.”

“Don’t be so cocky! Levi isn’t going to hire you just because you’re friends.”

“But you’d hire me, right?”

“Absolutely not. You’re a fucking menace.” And you mean this whole-heartedly. After all, this was his idea. Once he found out that he got a job interview at your company, under a separate department run by your mutual friend, he came up with this fantasy of you, his sexy boss wife, being fucked by him, the potential new hire, during the interview. And when it just so happened to be scheduled on the day of your wedding anniversary, he couldn’t help himself, adding the element of cheating into his twisted, dark role-play of his. You give yourself some credit, though: The lingerie really was a special surprise for him, which worked exactly the way you wanted it to.

He feigns a shocked expression. “I can’t believe my own wife wouldn’t hire me! How rude!” He pulls you into a hug, kissing you along your neck. “Maybe you need another good fuck to change your mind.”

You laugh, shoving him off. “Get out of here! Seriously, you’re going to be late.”

“Okay, okay. I’m leaving. I’ll call you when it’s done,” he says, kissing you on the forehead. “And don’t forget we have reservations at six tonight.” 

“I remember. I love you! Good luck,” you tell him, tucking a stray strand of hair behind his ear.

He gazes at you, smiling. “I love you, too. And happy anniversary.”

[iizzeee]

Guys, I am begging you. Please please please please please PLEASE do NOT vote 3rd party, or not vote at all.

I get it. I really do. Biden’s handling of Israel has been, not gonna mince words, dogshit. Abominable. Unspeakably bad.

But we cannot afford to protest like this.

We don’t need Biden as president. We do need to keep Trump out of office. And to those who respond “well, I don’t want just the lesser of two evils,” please, for the love of god, grow the fuck up.

For one, why wouldn’t you want the lesser of two evils. It is, by definition, LESS EVIL.

“Why can’t we just have no evil, why isn’t that an option.” I really wish it was. Just as much as you. But it’s not. These are our cards, and we have to play our hand to the best of our ability.

Which brings us to two.

Trump is more evil. Like, so much more evil. We’re comparing apples and oranges here guys.

I understand that a lot of you might doubt that. The largest demographic of people advocating for third party or non-votes are in the 18-26 range. New voters, with one or no elections under their belt.

So they don’t remember.

Most of us (I myself fall under this age range) don’t remember 2016. The election, that is. They don’t remember how so many people protested Hillary vs Trump by going 3rd party or writing in joke votes, because they saw the two as equally bad. And Trump won.

Half of us don’t remember the Trump presidency. We’ve heard he was a weird, bad, bigoted president, but don’t fully grasp the scope of how bad.

So off the top of my head, here are some highlights of real things Donald Trump did while he held office.

- threw toilet paper at hurricane victims like he was trying to shoot a 3-pointer

- fired the man investigating him for election fraud

- called African countries ���shitholes”

- appointed members of the Supreme Court who would go on to overturn roe v wade

- stole classified documents from the white house to hide at his resort

- tried to instate a Muslim Ban

- incited a insurrection to try and keep himself in office, and maybe hang his VP if there was time

- looked directly at an eclipse. Like no glasses, full on.

- fueled covid conspiracies. Also told people to “drink bleach” to fight the virus

- withdrew us from the Paris Climate Accord

- cofefe. Remember that? What a fun, normal thing for the president to tweet at 2am.

- employed literal white supremacists

- called Nazi’s “very fine people”

- got endorsed by the KKK, and refused to condemn David Duke

And that’s just what I can remember right now.

So if you’re angry at Biden about Palestine, please please please do not think for a fucking second Trump would be better. He would almost certainly actively be worse. He would give Netanyahu the green light. If you think Biden has used a loose leash, at least it’s some kind of leash. Trump would be all in. Full chips, flying to the Middle East to send in the bombs himself.

If you’re still hesitant, consider this last plea.

Things are bad. These shouldn’t be the only two choice we have, but they are. You can’t look at the menu, which is offering either bland soup someone spit in or actual rat poison and go “could I have some steak”.

You can order the soup and live to write a one-star review on Yelp, maybe call health inspections on the restaurant or contact the owners and say “you guys know your menu has only two options and they’re both dogshit. If you don’t add more, you’ll be unemployed soon.”

Or you can order rat poison and die.

If we elect Donald Trump in the fall, we will be eating rat poison. He has repeatedly said himself to be in favor of a dictatorship. He quotes Hitler. If he is put in office, the change we all want and so critically need will not be fucking POSSIBLE. Because with Biden, it’ll be hard, and tedious, and long, and exhausting, but at least it will be goddamn possible.

So, come November, please don’t order the rat poison.

Please just eat your shitty ass soup so we can live to get really angry about it.

Please.

[alwayscorvus]

"Morning hun" - Mortefi short

"Morning hun" - Mortefi short

malereader x Mortefi, fluff; warning! 18+/21+ topics hinted;

Just a quick short about daily life with Mortefi. He can be completely out of character. Because premiere is on Wednesday. And I'm just so excited that I want to write something about wuwa. But at the same time I don't want any spoilers sooo…. this is a results of reading 3 sentences from official website and looking at his appearance.

There he was. Sitting on a bed leaning against the headboard. He was wearing a loose white shirt. Unbuttoned, with sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Your shirt.

The one you had worn during yesterday's official event, from which you and Mortefi had left earlier than you should.

Man must have been troubled by a morning chill.

Mortefi's red hairs, were slightly messy. On top of his nose, you could see a reading glasses. With thin frames, typical for any scientist. He furrowed his eyebrows gently. With focused gaze he stared urgently at the screen of a laptop on top of his lap. Out of the corner of your eye, you caught a glimpse of a thing that was occupying man's attention at such an early hour. You managed to spot a document of some sort and a few open windows with research that you couldn't really understand. However, bright screen hurt your still sleepy eyes enough for you to quickly return to looking at you partner.

If you could even call him that.

You shifted slightly on his bed. Careful not to let go of your lying position.

You approached Mortefi and kissed him gently on his exposed forearm. His skin was pleasantly warm.

-Morning hun -you greeted in a husky voice to which he only nodded.

That was exactly your problem. Or rather, yours only. Officially, your relationship was titled as "friends with benefits". Or at least that's how it all started.

Mortefi, born in an upper class, couldn't initiante "inappropriate" contacts with anyone other than his future spouse. And even after abandoning family obligations, as a great genius and scientific research, he had neither a time nor desire for such things.

Years later, however, he began to lose concentration and felt frustrated. His scores dropped. And that silly friend of his, gave him an idea of finding another type of "friend". And in fact, Mortefi just agreed to this.

Two of you were never particularly close. But Mortefi felt a sense of trust in you. You gave off a strange kind of aura that implied that you were a proper one for this “task.” And it's not that Mortefi even liked guys. He just wasn't looking for an emotional experience, but rather a quick and stress-relieving one. And the first person that came to his mind was you. You were sort of larger than the rest, bulkier, taller. It gave an illusion of responsibility and protectiveness. After all, Mortefi couldn't give himself into an arms of just anyone. And at the same time he didn't want to play a role where he had to do all the work. He had enough duties on his mind.

Despite this, you acted almost like a couple. Your meetings didn't end only after finalizing one activity, you spent more time with each other. You addressed each other with cliche nicknames. You took care of each other. You made favors for each other. And you attended almost all important meetings together. Even though you majored in two different fields.

Mortefi, however, was probably not ready to give you both a second label. Or he didn't even think about it at all. Anyway, why would he? You were his. He was yours. He took it for granted.

You planned to change that in the future, but you still had plenty of time to do so.

You reached out your free hand (the one not crushed under your head) and placed it gently on man's chest. Slowly making your way down to red crystalline peeking out from under a white, sloppily wrapped bandages. Petite, pretty, like little feathers. Or almost petals like. They always fascinated you and puzzled. But you never had a courage to ask. You weren't afraid of his reaction. You just didn't want to pry into his private matters.

You carefully touched a gorgeous crystalline. After a longer contact, they seemed sharp and began to burn. However, it wasn't unpleasant. You remembered that from previous occasions.

You liked it. Like everything about Mortefi.

However, you moved your hand away, because although man didn't say anything. His face began to dangerously match a color of his hair.

-Mortefi

Man hummed at your call, giving a sign that he is listening.

-Are you up for breakfast?

Mortefi nodded vigorously and began tapping with his fingers faster on a keyboard. As if he had found some new solution to his problem.

-Something specific?

-Coffee - he replied casually, to which you snorted.

-Coffee is not a breakfast

Right corner of his mouth gently lifted up.

-I'll eat whatever you eat

You pushed yourself off the mattress with both hands, moving to a sitting position. Out of a corner of his eye, Mortefi glanced at your flexing muscles. Exactly the same like when you do push-ups.

But he didn't let it show and kept on working.

-I better do something good

With a smile, you kissed him briefly on the lips and headed to the bathroom.

[nztsume]

• waiting for the big twenty-five •

homelander x you

{“Only one more year till the big 25. Aren’t you excited?”

This piqued at his curiosity. “What’s the big 25?”

“It’s when your brain finishes developing.”, you replied, remembering the information from back in the day, when you were still trying to get your Psychology’s degree. “Your frontal cortex- the one in charge of your personality and all- it stops growing at around 25 years old.}

Even if you’re just kind of a glorified baby-sitter, you just want to see him happy - instead, you accidentally make him worse.

read on ao3

------

Hi yall!!! The voices won and I finally ended up starting to write the young homelander fic of my dreams where we find out how he ended up being the deranged insecure insane man we know and love!!

In this one, you're Madelyn Stilwell's niece who works at Vought- and have striken an unexpected soft spot for the company’s latest investment- this insecure, shy but sweet young hero called Homelander.

Enjoy!

• 1 •

July, 2005

Every single day, at exactly 5.30 a.m., Homelander was to be awoken by the smell of coffee on his kitchen table. The coffee had to be fresh, beans grinded that same morning, no sugar, no milk, no exceptions. To accompany it, he was to have his pills: two of creatin– for muscle growth, three of protein- to feed them, a weight gainer– so he would stop being so lanky, and an extra dose of vitamin D, to fight those pesky pimples guys his age still got sometimes. All of them should be in a small container, so he could swallow them at once with his first gulp.

Next to his coffee and his pills, he was to have a folder with any relevant document for the day- interviewer’s questions and the answers he was to give, profiles of important people he would meet, scripts for any ad he was to film. All of that, including his schedule for the day- except that was to be read to him by you. This is how Maddie had told you it had to be done, and how you’d done it since day one.

You looked at your wrist watch, holding his coffee on your hand- piping hot, just how you knew he liked it-  and you yawned, watching the thinnest clock hand go round it, as the last minute before you could walk into his apartment went by. 

Finally, it was 5.25, and you could already walk in- so you did. 

You weren’t exactly his maid- he had several of those, but none of them were to do anything to his apartment whenever he was around. He wasn’t to have much contact with the normal civilians, the normies- as Maddie called them. You preferred to reserve your opinions at that- your aunt had changed a lot since she had started working here. 

What you were was Maddie’s secretary- and Maddie was Mr. Edgar’s secretary- or something. There was a fancier title for that, but you couldn’t recall it. All you knew was that she was aiming for vice-CEO or something, as it was the only thing she talked about whenever she dragged you to a bar after office hours, and insisted on drinking glass after glass of whisky.

As you finished setting things up, you appreciated the result- his cup of coffee, his pills, his documents and ah, a special surprise. One big, obscene chocolate cupcake, the kind where the chocolate topping is so rich that it spills and drips all over, with one beautiful strawberry on top, and next to it, one single candle. You weren’t sure if chocolate was his favorite, but you knew he had a bit of a sweet tooth- so he’d appreciate it, at least some. 

Finally, you took out your red lighter and lit the candle- and less than twenty seconds later, you looked up- and there he was. 

"Good morning, John.”, you put the lighter back on your blazer’s pocket, smiling at him. 

He blinked- eyes still not fully alert, as he scratched them. They were boring holes into the chocolate cupcake, and you couldn’t help to smirk a little- you knew he’d be interested in it. 

“Is that for me?”, he asked, surprised, almost like a child- and you laughed. Ever since you’d met him, about five or six months ago now, you’d felt like he was younger than his actual age- there was something about the way he stood in the middle of his own massive penthouse, like a kid lost in a big, elegant furniture showroom. Alone, quiet and shy, even when wearing his own super suit. It didn’t help that it was actually way too big for one person, with its tall, tall roofs, marble everything and sleek furniture- much less for an overworked twenty-something with no time for a social life.  

“Of course.”, you assured him. “It’s your birthday after all, right? Happy 24th!”

He pressed his lips awkwardly, trying to contain a smile- but that didn’t work, as he let out a laugh, and finally came to the kitchen island, almost a skip on his step. You couldn’t help to be glad- finally this kid was getting some happiness in him.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re welcome.”, you said, sarcastically, as he went to town on the cupcake, taking big bites out of it. He stopped for a second mid-bite, mouth full of chocolate, to look at you with a smile- and there was a gleeful glint in his eyes. Actually, that was enough of a thank for you. Anything that made that perpetual sadness that he always seemed to hold go away, even for just a few minutes, was worth it. You laughed at him. “Okay- just go for it. But don’t forget your pills!” 

“I can’t believe it- this tastes so good!”, he finally said, after taking another bite- in less than thirty seconds he had eaten half of it. Unbelievable! “Best birthday gift ever!”

“Oh- shush.”, you crossed your arms, leaning back against the counter, watching him take a big gulp of coffee. “Just wait until you see what Maddie has gotten you- it’ll blow your mind.”

“I don’t think it’ll be better than having chocolate as breakfast.”- he set the last bite of the cupcake aside, finally taking the pill container, and eyeing them with disgust. You sighed- perhaps if they let the kid eat his breakfast he wouldn’t need those nasty pills- it wasn’t like he wasn’t going to burn it off in the training center literally thirty minutes later. You didn’t know much about supe genetics, but they couldn’t be too different from normal people’s, right?

You yawned again, this time covering your mouth to the side, as you let him have the rest of the cupcake and his coffee. You liked to give him some minutes of silence so he could enjoy it properly- you knew that that’s how you liked it when you had yours.

This morning in particular, you just wished you had gotten to drink your coffee alone- but your fiance was just arriving from a shift at the E.R., and you had to deal with his graphic description of a dick that had been cut in half by a broken wine glass. You were still trying to forget about it. At least you lived close enough to Vought- just a ten minute subway trip away - so you didn’t have to wake up much earlier than that. It was just lucky you knew how to do your make-up on the move, another time-saving skill you’d learnt in your college years. 

You heard him drinking the last of his coffee- doing that big slurp noise he always did, and you finally decided to take the document with his schedule- ready to tell him about his day. 

He was tired -he always was, but today he seemed particularly so, even behind the hint of a smile the cupcake had left him with. You could tell by his posture under those cheesy button up burgundy silk pajamas, shoulders too slumped, hips rested against the counter. You weren’t surprised- according to Maddie, ever since they’d debuted him close to two years ago to the public, he’d been worked non-stop. It was only time until he broke, you thought- but you could never say it to her. Your aunt had always been too good at pushing people further than they could reach, and too good at seeing only ahead of her; John was just another one of her subjects. 

“Alright”, you finally said, seeing the subtle move of his shoulders straightening at your voice, “Ready to hear about your day, birthday boy?”

He groaned in response, the hint of his smile completely being wiped away, “I guess…”

You pressed a smile for him, but mentally frowned reading over his schedule- he was packed, of course. “What’s that? Not excited about being 24?”, they’d even put an interview right after his birthday celebration- his 1 hour long birthday celebration. They as in Maddie and Mr. Edgar. “Only one more year till the big 25. Aren’t you excited?”

This piqued at his curiosity. “What’s the big 25?”

“It’s when your brain finishes developing.”, you replied, remembering the information from back in the day, when you were still trying to get your Psychology’s degree. “Your frontal cortex- the one in charge of your personality and all- it stops growing at around 25 years old. So you get only one more year of acting like a dumbass without people holding it against you.”, you added that last one joke to make him laugh- it worked. He wasn’t used to people throwing curse words around him. “Congrats!” 

“Just one more year, huh?”, he said, more seriously than you expected. “That’s kind of sad.”

“No way- it’s great.” you shook your head, “After 25… it’s like your brain rewires. You’re not embarrassed anymore, you get some self-esteem back from when you were a kid.”, you couldn’t help but smile to yourself, remembering how stupidly shy you were back when you were his age. It wasn’t that long ago, really, just four years- but it felt like another lifetime, somehow. “10 out of 10, if you ask me. Anyway–”, you gave one more sigh, before turning your attention back to him, “Let me tell you about your day. So- it officially starts at 9.10 where you- oh. I didn’t know this. You’re getting a new suit!”

His eyebrows rose, “I thought that wasn’t until September.” 

“Hmm, maybe they wanted to launch it at today’s park inauguration for your birthday- which is at around 11.30, by the way. So you get your suit fitted and all, then it’s an one hour drive, and then the inauguration. After that, lunch, and after…”, she frowned. “You have to have tea with- with Margaret Pataki and her friends ...?” , no way they were making the kid spend his birthday with a bunch of rich old ladies that wanted to get in his pants. You couldn’t believe Maddie. What in the world could have they offered your aunt to get the privilege of The Homelander’ s time on his birthday? Unbelievable.  You huffed. “Well… too bad you have your weekly marketing meeting. You’ll have to miss it.”

“I thought that wasn’t until Thursday.”, he frowned, but there was a hint of relief behind his confusion. 

“It’s not-”, you shot a look at him, “But you should get to rest for a couple hours on your birthday, don’t ya?”, you winked at him- and then moved on, before he could protest any further. Better not to think about it too much, or you’d get extremely mad at your aunt. “And then… your birthday celebration!”

“You’re coming, right?”

You looked up from the paper, surprised at his sudden intensity as he cut you off. You found those crystal blue eyes boring at you- like you were another cupcake, expectating of your reply.

“ ‘Course.”, you simply smiled- surprisingly secretly pleased. You liked him- he was a nice guy, behind all the pizzazz that Vought put him through in front of the cameras. Perhaps too nice, in your opinion- there was some trauma somewhere in there, you could tell. But you didn’t weren’t close enough to him to recommend therapy or something, although you had suggested it to Maddie… who obviously shrieked at the thought of their golden child going to the shrink. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world, Johnny.” 

“Thank god-”, he sighed, rolling his eyes in sass, “If I have to deal with Stan or Madelyn or any of the other old farts there by myself, I’ll laser my own foot.” 

This made you laugh. It always surprised you whenever he showed a bit of bite, as it seemed like whenever he was with Maddie or Edgar, he seemed like the best behaved pupil in the boarding school- and whenever he was in front of the public, he was an absolute boy-scout. “Oh- come on. I’m sure Noir’s gonna be there too. I’m not your only friend here, you know?” She hoped so, at least. John seemed to like Black Noir, although his presence in the Vought building was far and apart, since they hadn’t officially re-debuted him under the company’s name yet.

He shot you one last skeptical look before taking the folder with the rest of the documents- this was your dismissal, and you took it. It was ten to six, and he had to be in the training center soon. 

“Anyway- I’ll take my leave. Maddie’s probably sent me my tasks for the day already.”, you heard a low distracted hum coming from him, already walking to the door. Before you left, you peeked at him one last time, before saying: “Happy birthday.”

He looked up just as you waved, and there was a hint of a smile in his face- good. You smiled back, and finally, slammed the door closed.

 

-

 

When you worked at Vought- more specifically, in their superhero division, every single day felt like standing in the middle of the sea during a storm- wave after wave of issues and tasks coming at you, suffocating you at times. Truth be told, you weren’t supposed to be working there- you were far too unqualified, both emotionally and academically. 

When your aunt Maddie had found out about your mother’s disease, she, of course, had refused to help her. She had always been resentful at how resentful your mom had been of her, at how she had chosen a professional life path while your mom chose to have you at just seventeen, dropping out of school to form a family. Just your average sisters’ feud, splashed with just a bit of new wave feminism and abandonment issues. However, knowing you had dropped out of college, Maddie was kind enough to offer you a job in her workplace- none other than Vought Enterprises. Big shot shit. 

She had told you that she wouldn’t make any promises, she wouldn’t work with you, and she wouldn’t slide you in with the big supes, where she worked. She had hustled her ass off to be where she was- she wouldn’t let your wormy little self run on the path she had so laboriously paved. You were okay with that- any corporation job would pay more than what you were doing in the dingy bar downtown where you’d been working since you dropped off college. Besides, you knew your aunt had never been all there- the love-hate she always showed you wasn’t personal, it was just a thing she did.

It didn’t help that you weren’t even more than seven years younger than her, so a lot of your childhood memories involved playing with her teen self. She was more a cousin than an aunt, to be fair. So there were a lot of things you could easily let slide- her insane mood swings was one of them. You knew she meant well- behind all of her power plays and degradation.

Either way, that didn’t end up happening- you working for a less important division, like pharmacy. As soon as she suggested Mr. Edgar to give you a job he was into the idea- he liked to keep things between family. And in hindsight, it was understandable. The things that happened behind the scenes for supes weren’t half as glamorous or exciting as they seemed to be on camera.

This morning had been particularly busy, the waves of work slowly turning into a tsunami, as Homelander’s birthday was a top priority for the entire department. He was the star, after all- had been for almost three years now. He was Vought’s face and voice, their personality. The bright eyed, all-american, charming, strongest to ever exist superhero. America turned into the shape of a man. Everything they’d ever dreamed, they were training into this twenty-something-year-old. Any excuse to celebrate him was good enough for them- because it was as if they were celebrating Vought itself.

That’s why you’d been running all over New York the entire morning. The tailor had managed to mismeasure John’s shoulders, somehow, and they needed two more of the handmade eagle feather golden shapes that went… well, you didn’t know where they went. You had only gotten the gist of it, along with a brown envelope to take to the goldsmith- any goldsmith that would get them done before 11.30 a.m., when Homelander was supposed to debut his new suit to the world, to mark a new era or something.

Luckily, it was 11 sharp as you ran through Vought’s main hall’s doors, and 11.04 as you knocked the costume division’s door on the 45th floor. You were breathless, knowing that he had to be on the other side of the city, to Fort Lee in less than half an hour- although seeing how tight they were, he was probably going to fly to the inauguration. The city council had granted him his very own children’s park after he’d saved a school bus from sinking into the Hudson a month ago, and they had chosen to inaugurate it the very day of his birthday. As if he had nothing else to do on that day.

Maddie opened the door, blonde waves all over the place, breath ragged. You knew the signs, she had been yelling at someone- and you were lucky it wasn’t you. You saw a flash of dark blue somewhere in the background and you knew it was John- and your curiosity was piqued. Would the new suit be too different? At least it seemed they’d keep his colors. 

“Where are they?”, your aunt demanded.

Wordlessly, you took out a fancy necklace case out of the bag you were holding, “I had to find a different place- our goldsmith was taking too long to decide whether he could do them or in time or not.”, you explained, as she snatched it off your hands and opened to inspect them. While she did that, you subtly went on your tippy-toes, trying to catch the new suit without her knowing. “I think they look just like the mold-so…” 

“Perfect.”, she concluded, slamming it closed, and she took one look at you, with those severe eyes of hers. “Go to the 72th. They need help with the party.” 

After that, she slammed the door on your face. Oh well- you’d see it later, hopefully. 

 

—

 

The 72th was a mess- as it always was, since it was the floor where most Vought only parties were held, the ones no outsiders should know about. Before, you would have thought that that meant something sexual- perhaps some sort of massive over the top superhero and congressmen orgy, the kind conspiracy theorists would talk about- but soon you found out it was not the case. Rather- it was the kind of party where millionaires would get drunk and discuss whether bombing another South Asian country would make them profits or not. You didn’t know which of the two types of parties were worse.

This time, though, at least the purpose of the preparations was much more innocent- just a small party for every person in Homelander’s life to celebrate him and his birthday. It was kind of impressive so many people showed up, in your opinion. It was the 4th of July, after all- most everyone would choose to celebrate it with their families at the park- or even just watch the fireworks from their TV at home. Instead, about twenty or more people were there, running around with you- decorating, inflating balloons, making every cookie in the dish look beautiful and photogenic. All for him- everyone wanted him to be pleased. You were sure that as long as he was allowed to eat enough of them, he’d be just as happy. 

One thing you ended up noticing about the attendees was the variety, or more like, the lack of thereof. Most people there were some of Vought’s scientists, the ones you only knew of by their pictures on the Vought’s Best wall. You wondered what they had to do with Homelander, or if they were there just for protocol. Maybe these were the kind of people Edgar wanted him to surround himself with. Important people- people who did good for humanity. 

And no, no Black Noir to be found.

Interestingly enough, even they were helping with the organization. Perhaps they were close, you wouldn’t know. You didn’t know much about John’s past aside from what you’d figured out by yourself- and what the public knew. 

Either way, he was about to arrive, and you were to get Maddie’s gift ready for him. The box was a bit too big for it- but it needed the space, you guessed. You just wondered if the box was necessary at all. 

Somebody heard the elevator sound starting to ding up- and began shushing everyone, as they started crowding around the room, hiding the big table with the cake and different foods that they had set up in the middle of the room behind them. You, of course, didn’t want to steal any spotlight from someone who could actually be important to him, so you placed yourself to the side, excited for him to arrive. You knew he was going to love this; he loved attention- even affection, as much as he tried to hide it.

The elevator finally dinged on their floor, and the doors opened, and-...

“Happy birthday!”, everyone shouted- only for Maddie to come out, her heels clicking as she saw on her that particular face she made when she scolded someone- her words drowned by their scream. Everyone made a confused noise- wasn’t it supposed to be…?

Then- a massive spot of blue walked in- a young man with wide shoulders, an unhesitant stroll and perfectly coiffed blonde hair- clad in an imposing red and blue suit. Homelander.

You began singing Happy Birthday- loudly, completely drowning everyone’s confusion and whatever Maddie was nagging the young supe about- and everyone was super quick to join. And you had the pleasure to see John’s face go from a slight frown to a bright expression- as everyone sang for him- claps and even stomps to go with it. 

But… there was something off in his smile as he started recognizing the faces around him. You saw his eyes go through every person in the room with a strange restraint- like he was holding back something. Then- they fell on you, and they stayed there, somehow, it seemed that it made that off feeling fade off. You clapped and sang more excitedly.

“Happy birthday, dear… John-Homelan-Johnny !”, everyone laughed, as nobody quite knew how to address him, “Happy birthday to you!” 

You saw him laugh- eyes looking around in surprise at the decorations. Everything was red, white and blue- with lots of golden details, that had been your touch. They were the expensive kind, but anyone could tell they weren’t set by professionals. You thought it added a homey touch that he’d enjoy- and he did, as he quite didn’t know what to do with himself, with his hands, as everyone clapped and whistled for him. 

“Oh-!”, he finally said, “Thank you- thank you, guys!”, he was trying to play it cool, calming them awkwardly. 

After that, the short event officially started. The attendees started mingling amongst each other, coming up in groups at times to talk to John, who seemed more interested on whatever was going on on the food table. You had caught him eyeing it from time to time whenever he was left alone for a second or two, as if he was deciding whether he could have a treat or not .

Meanwhile, you were busy guarding Maddie’s gift- which was secretly the only reason you were here at all. Not by your own volition, of course- you’d obviously come to John’s party if it was up to you. But… somehow, you felt that without your aunt’s express invitation it would have created problems for you. Sometimes it felt like Maddie got insanely possessive of the kid- as if anyone could come and snatch him away from under her management and steal her progress doing that. You didn’t quite know- all you really knew is that whenever you made a small observation, offered a small detail you’d noticed about him, she responded incredibly bad.

It wasn’t too bad, though. At least you were saving yourself from awkward conversations with strangers- plus, sometimes John caught your eyes and smiled at you. He had even tried to make his way to you a couple times, always interrupted by a new group of people who called for his attention.

He looked good in his new suit, you had to admit. A far cry from the leotardish one-piece he had before- that only worked to accentuate his still teensy physique, still too skinny and lanky for what he was supposed to be Edgar’s final vision of him- this new suit was magnificent. It looked like it was a two piece, for once- which he was probably thankful for- held by a strong golden (gold?) belt, and a high collar, covering just enough of his neck to draw attention to the slight v line it formed. He had some padding, she knew that- but it was just enough, not to transform his actual size, but to accentuate it. He looked more mature, more secure in his skin, and it showed - even if just a little bit.

Either way, you could hear her gift getting more and more agitated by the minute- so it was a relief when you heard her voice loud, commanding everyone’s attention.

“Let’s open your gifts, John.” Maddie said, coming up from behind and slapping a hand on his shoulder, making him jump a little. 

The party moved to the gifts table, where a small pile laid. You dutifully took the box you’d been guarding on the corner of the room and started walking it by it with a bit of difficulty, mostly because it kept moving all over the surface- but also because it was making your nose itch.

By the time you had gotten there, John had already started opening some of his gifts. Someone got him an insanely expensive wine you knew he wasn’t even going to try, and someone else a piece of pottery. It was hard to make someone like him a gift- what could you even get someone who could have anything? Not that John ever asked for anything, though. But he could- and everyone was aware of that. Vought made sure they were.

As soon as Maddie saw you with the box, she took it from your hands and walked up to him- and the second he turned to it, his face illuminated. 

“A dog?!”, he took it from her almost immediately, sitting on the floor with it on his lap- hands fighting to open the wrapping as soon as he was settled. 

“Oh John!”, Maddie scoffed, annoyed, “You spoiled it for everyone else!”

He didn’t seem to hear her though- entranced on the unwrapping, and you couldn’t help to hold your hands together on your chest, excited with anticipation. You were sure he was going to love it.

And as soon as the little guy jumped from inside the box- you know he did.

“Oh, lord!”, he exclaimed, as the small dog started barking and twisting in his grasp- as excited to see him as he was, its tiny tail wagging so hard it was moving its entire little body with it. “Oh, my god!”

The dog, a small Jack Russel with a big, brown spot over one of his eyes, barked excitedly, and you were sure you could see John’s eyes shining with tears, sat on the floor while everyone else aww’d at them. You could tell that- for once- he had forgotten about the people around him, as he let the puppy jump on his legs, on his chest, licking his face, sat back on his hands, as if he was stopping himself from squeezing the little thing. He was happy, so happy , and the dog was too.

“I can’t believe it!”, he gasped, again, as he finally decided he needed to pet it, getting rid of the thick gloves that his new suit had, grabbing it with both hands. The puppy barked at him, tongue out, and a laugh escaped from his mouth. “You’re the cutest thing I’ve seen in my life !”

The puppy wriggled its way out of his grasp, and jumped at his face again, licking him- and everyone aww’d once again and clapped. You finally unglued your eyes from the adorable scene to your aunt- and she looked incredibly pleased with herself. You would be too, this was probably the first time you’ve seen him actively elated.

Suddenly, she was startled by something- and you saw her hand going to her blazer’s pocket, picking her cellphone in a second. As she walked away with it, you took a step closer to him- and he turned to you.

“Did you know about this!?”, he asked, incredulous, fighting against the dog’s excited licks, “I can’t believe it!”

You couldn’t help the smile on your lips as you saw him. “Obviously. I went to pick him with her!” you crossed your arms over your chest- still remembering the horrors of the testing lab you’d gone get the poor dog from. It had been a month ago, and the dog had stayed with Maddie until now, “He was not the youngest puppy in the uh- adoption center but…”

“Shush, he’s perfect.”, he interrupted you, holding it to his chest, and turning to you, “What’s his name?”

“I’m not sure actually-”, you turned towards where your aunt had left- and you saw her smiling into the phone, a small skip on her step- and you knew that body language. She was sucking up to someone on the other end of the line. “We could ask Maddie if she named him when she comes back.”

But as you said that, Maddie actually came back- almost running in the short steps her heels allowed.

“Let's get this over with”, she whispered to you, as she walked by you taking over the center of the small round that Had formed around him, “Hey, everyone! Let's cut the cake!”

Everyone agreed happily- but you frowned, running to follow her as she went to the food table, already starting to make space for it. You knew that this was supposed to come at the end of the party, but not even half an hour had gone by yet- what was she doing?

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw John's eyes shoot from you to her to Edgar, as he as well tried to figure out what was going on.

“Maddie-”

“Seems like his birthday interview got delayed a couple hours”, she whispered to you excitedly, almost like a secret, “Guess who'll get to make up for his fatal mistake of not seeing Mrs. Pataki and her friends!”

A sense of disgust immediately took over your stomach, as you realized why she was so happy. She was making John spend time with those women after all- she was going to get him to butter them up for Vought On his own fucking birthday. 

“Go help with the cake.”

You felt sick.

Behind you, you heard John approach and Madelyn’s arm immediately shoot to get a hold of his forearm and guide him to the center of the table, the dog still in his arms.

Suddenly, a lot of things started happening simultaneously. Edgar was on the scene now, - a cameraman that you’d seen wandering about the event next to him - finally caring about this party at all, as he seemed to be giving him directions about how to encapsulate the happy event. 

Maddie, on the other hand, stood next to Homelander- whose eyes seemed far, as he heard whatever she was telling him, his lips pressing in some sort of emotion you didn’t have time to figure out, eyes looking far away from the scene unfolding. You got closer, as you started fixing the cake decorations, and got to hear some of it.

“And you'll show off your fucking new suit and tell her ‘ You like it, Margie?’ like she's the woman of your dreams, okay? She needs to go home and tell Pataki that Vought's doing great things while she considers divorcing his ass. You need to make up for the time you made her lose, John.” she was instructing right next to his ear, and he seemed more out of it by the second, “You'll be so fucking sorry to her she won't doubt for a second that you made a honest mistake with your schedule.” 

People started gathering as well- their loud chatter surrounding them like a massive beehive, buzzing so close to the table it was even starting to make you dizzy and desperate, as you fought to make one of the star decorations stay up. One of the scientists came up to you with a lighter, offering to turn the single candle on and you nodded, mindlessly as your focus kept shifting to him, and the way his gaze dissociated more and more- and you were actually worried now. You’d never seen him like this, not this badly. 

“Homelander!”, Edgar called, his serious nasal voice adding a new layer to the buzz, just like the scientist's lighter he couldn't get lit on. “Move one step to the left and turn a little, the lighting's bad there!”

“Seriously - apologize like a fucking dog, you hear?”

“Fuck”, you cursed under your breath- snatching the lighter yourself and trying- getting to turn on.

The camera started snapping- and it added another layer. A group laughed loudly in the background. Edgar kept giving needless instruction. The dog started wriggling, running out of his grasp. Madelyn kept barking into his ear.

“You'll lick her feet- and…”

And you could almost hear it before it happened. 

“Madelyn, I fucking GET it !”

The loud high sound- the sound his lasers made.

The crowd gasped, shocked- but more importantly, the dog started fucking screaming in pain.

“Oh- no!”

Someone screamed- and all hell broke loose. John ran from the table to the side- where his laser had left a dark, charred line that ended with… with the poor puppy laying on the floor, bleeding and crying. You ran after him.

“Oh no- no, no, no, no…”, he was on his knees, and you fell next to him as he whispered the words to himself, holding the poor thing as it wriggled, its loud shrieks vibrating in your ears. His hands were starting to get covered in blood, and its fur was so bloody- flesh so mangled you couldn't make sense of any of it. “No- please !”

You were speechless, shocked, and the blood was draining from your face by the second. “It was an accident!”, you were immediate to comfort him, but his eyes were glued to the animal- unable to think, to do anything, “It was an accident, John, and-and…”

You looked around- but nobody thought like you- nobody else was stepping up to comfort him. Instead, everyone stared in… fright , taking fearful steps away from the scene like he was a monster- and that made you so insanely mad.

“I-I killed him!”, he exclaimed in horror. “Oh, God, I fucking killed him!”

“ No, you didn't! ”, your hands went to his shoulders, shaking him a little as his eyes filled up with tears- and your heart was going a mile a minute, “He's crying ! He's still alive!”

“N-no, no, I-”

“John!”, Maddie’s voice shouted- and you looked up to see her walking to you, angry, as she got out of her shock, “What the hell was that?! Are you insane?! Are you retarded ?!”

He turned slightly to her, eyes full of tears and remorse and pain- and you couldn't take it anymore.

You stood up like a spring and took a step between them.

“Madelyn!”, you looked at her in the eyes, heart still drumming, “ Are you fucking serious?!”

You saw her eyes widen and her mouth fall open.

She started sputtering your name, visibly shaken. You'd never ever had spoken like this to her. She was always the one that was right, the one whose decisions just weren't questioned.

“Y-you stay out of this!”, she finally managed, and tried to push you to the side- but you slapped her hand away.

“No, I won't! Not this fucking time, Aunt Maddie.” you stood your ground, stomping a foot.

There was a rage in you burning- and you instantly realized this wasn't just about this, right now. This was a rage that had been slowly burning- building up these last six months as you'd witnessed how they treated this kid, how they exploited every single second of his time. How tight his leash was. How simply sad and alone he looked all the time.

It had been burning since your mother had been diagnosed with that heart condition- and how ironically heartless her sister had been to her. How she'd offered you the job the same way someone offers leftovers to a starving stray dog, and how you had to swallow your dignity and take them.

It had been burning, you'd even say, after the first day Maddie had started this fucking job, and how she blew you off when you went to her apartment with a cake you'd made her to celebrate it- saying she had coworkers over and she couldn't deal with a child like you here, too, as if they were too important for you to even see them.

She growled your name one last time, “You're about to lose your job.”

“Then fucking do it, Maddie.”, you hissed back, feeling venom in your voice, “Fire me. Fire me! Who wants to work in a company that depends on how much they can exploit some twenty-year-old, anyway? Oh, but the second he makes one mistake you all look at him like he's a monster, right?!”

You couldn't help to turn around, including everyone in your rant now- every single person that was important in John’s life, who was looking at him like he was going to laser them next. Him, who was still holding onto the crying puppy, hands drenched in his blood.

“Don't look at him like that! God- look at him ! He didn't do it on purpose! You all pushed him to do it!”

You felt frustration building in you- as your eyes started to burn as well, angry. No, you couldn't let yourself cry, you needed to speak up!

You saw Maddie about to say something else when someone took a step forward- Mr. Edgar.

“Okay, okay everyone…” he had his hands raised up, voice infuriatingly calming and imposing. “Let’s calm down. You-”, he pointed at a random woman, who jumped at his calling, “Take the dog to the fifteenth, there must be a vet somewhere there.”

The woman quickly stepped forward- a middle aged with a messy bun hanging off of her head- arms in front of her, ready to take the still wailing dog from John while putting the most distance from him she could. Your eyes followed the movement as he extended the creature to her- his hands still shaking. For some reason, as this happened, you felt absolutely insane- like you were some schizoid character In a movie, and everyone else was just watching your crazy rants unfold. 

“And you- miss… Stilwell?”, he continued, turning to you- and as you shook your head (you didn't share your aunt’s last name, thank you ), he held a hand up, like he didn't actually care about that, “Why don't you take Homelander here home? He's still a bit shaken.”

And you're the only one here not afraid of his lasers, seemed to be the tacit rest of his request. 

At that, you stood straighter, facing him as a bitter bile pooled in your throat - desperate to keep jawing off about all you've been keeping, seeing these last months, about every single thing that they'd knowingly been doing to him- but you held back for him. Edgar was right, he needed to get away from this,  he needed some peace- and perhaps not to have to spend his birthday with some old lady who would be pawing at him all night. 

You swallowed it and nodded at him, chest still out and shoulders squared, like you were a shield and shot one last look at Maddie.

She was boring holes into you- mouth in a thin line, dark blue eyes unblinking in anger, hands fisted to her sides. You knew that look, your mother had been the end of it one too many times. But unlike her, you did not relent- and Maddie should better get used to it.

Then, you simply turned, falling to a kneel once again, as you grabbed his shoulder. His eyes were on you as well, those clear blue eyes, still watery, still shaking. His hands were drenched in blood, as was the rest of his new suit- he looked so small in that moment, so scared.

“John?”, you let your voice fall into a soft tone. At your call, his eyes tuned into an emotion you couldn't quite decipher- aside from intense gratefulness, “Let’s go home.”

[keeheauxtales]

S.I.S. (Self-Indulgent Series) | VOL. 1

“I’ll take a ‘me espresso,’ please?”🔞

☕️

MDNI

"I'm working late, 'cause I'm a singer Oh, he looks so cute wrapped 'round my finger." – "Espresso" | Sabrina Carpenter

pairing: barista!Keeho (soft dom switch vibes as per the usual) x musician!reader (fem-bodied switch vibes as per the usual!)

synopsis: after your routine weekly performance — and after Stephen’s regular shift — ends, feelings arise between the both of you that can’t be fixed with coffee… but can create similar lingering effects.

word count: ~3.5k

warnings + themes: [semi-]public sex, unprotected sex (y'all already know: wrap it irl), fingering, oral (f+m receiving), squirting, pussy slapping, multitasking (it'll make sense later), multiple orgasms (fem receiving), cum play, dirty talkin' for days, voice kink?

author's notes: Sabrina's smash hit is probably gonna be in the top ten of my Spotify Wrapped this year, and then FNC sends these boys to work a café? this is gonna be fun (and long)! lol I'm writing Keeho as a non-idol here (that might become kinda obvious), and will be using 'Stephen.' also this actually has a bit of a plot with a backstory? a rarity! there might just be a "Secret Sauce" reference if you squint.

🎧 Listen to FLO's entire Access All Areas: Unlocked album (even while reading this hehe)

"thank you all so much for listening and vibing with me!" you excitedly address your small, yet seemingly attentive crowd of customers as they either converse with others at their table, or type away on their laptops, among other things. the gig is a two hour acoustic set with a break in the middle, and you do an incredible job of adding a subtle soundtrack to the ambience of the café. "and don't forget to tip your baristas and cashiers; they work twice as hard as me, and deserve your support!"

you peer at the handsome barista with short black hair and a face that could end the entire modeling industry if he so chose, sporting a pair of specs that you could almost tell were merely for accessory. Stephen looks up from the shop's ordering screen over at you, as if to give a silent 'thank you' for the acknowledgment. like it was the first time you ever did it (you give a similar speech every week).

you had been going to this particular spot as solely a customer for over a year before the owner took heed to the covers you posted on your socials. she figured your soft, jazzy renditions of popular tunes such as Sabrina Carpenter's "Espresso" and Tyla's "Water" would be a nice change of pace from the constant Spotify mixes that normally go through their speakers — and she was right! there could be statistics that documented the uprising of foot-tapping and head-bopping that took place whenever you performed, if ever that was possible.

the person who seemed to enjoy you the most was that aforementioned fine ass barista. one thing about Stephen is that the guy can sing his damn self, and he'd inadvertently let anyone around him know it too! only hired a month after you technically, you grew to like him and his aura – and love his voice. if he unintentionally belted a few little ad-libs during an instrumental break, you'd intentionally loop that break a little longer until he'd stop himself.

unofficial collaborations were a frequent occurrence between you two, and today wasn't any different. you decided to try something you don't do often, and played a song completely instrumental. you follow each other on Instagram, and he mentioned how much he loves the British girl group FLO in his story. he even put "Walk Like This" as his Song Of The Day note before his shift. so after you mentioned to whoever was listening that you're still learning the lyrics to the song as it had just come out, you opted to do a fingerstyle version of "Bending My Rules."

you know who already knew all the lyrics – and the ad-libs – though? Stephen, and as incognito as he could possibly be, he was sangin'! you couldn't help smiling from ear to ear, feeling heat course your face (and maybe somewhere else much further south) as you hear a faint voice coasting through the song like he wrote it. he never leaves from behind the counter, yet each note that leaves his lips and seems to reach your ear only is smoother than the butter that compliments the shop's bestselling croissants.

in a rare occasion of him being a part of the later shift, Stephen clocks out for the night when you're done playing, and is able to actually talk to you for much longer than he normally would. a routine all on its own, he approaches you to talk about the set you just completed, every other sentence accompanied with a compliment on just how talented you are. and every single one of those compliments is reciprocated back from you to him, and today, he's blushing while receiving them!

"you learn songs so fast!" Stephen exclaims with a chuckle as he helps you pack your equipment. "that FLO song literally just dropped."

"I could say the exact same thing to you, Mr. 🎶 Are you coming over~ 🎶," you retaliate flirtatiously, copying the run from the record.

"ooh, okay!" Stephen playfully commends your vocal ability on a song you're 'still learning.' several minutes later, your equipment is packed and being wheeled by Stephen to your car that's parked in an alley on the side of the building. even when the conversation takes a turn after he manages to throw in a couple compliments in regard to your outfit (a classic fall ensemble that includes a leather mini skirt), the song is still clearly in his head as he periodically vamps on the line "🎶 I don't want nobody, nobody like I want you 🎶" from the chorus and bridge. you couldn't help but wonder if this was subliminal messaging, and by the time your hands brush against his while guiding your microphone stand into the back of your vehicle, you found your answer in his hooded eyes.

you were already internally grateful that was the last item you needed to load, and now even more so as you lock eyes with the man next to you. both of you took the hint as you secured your car to ensure safety. entering back inside the café, Stephen takes you by the hand to one of the gender-neutral restrooms that's for the staff. after locking the door behind him, he places you atop the counter.

licking his lips while looking down at you a bit shyly, he caresses your thighs before beginning to push them open, eyes asking for permission. you confirm by helping to lower your bottoms and undergarments to your ankles. "god, you're so wet," is the first and last thing out of Stephen's mouth before his lips meet yours.

instantly melting into his firm kisses, you wrap your arms around Stephen's broad shoulders as one of his large hands land on your neck, fingers softly gliding over the skin in contrast to the way his tongue invites itself into your mouth. with absolutely no protest, you open your mouth, a moan slipping out before even more moans are muffled by the evident hunger of your colleague.

you both are in such a heated rush that you barely have it in one another to briefly explain to each other how you two really got here in the first place. even if neither of your nether regions bothered to care at this particular moment, Stephen helps you discard his apron before he speaks. “I’ve been wanting a morsel of this since I first saw you in this damn café,” he confesses in between longing kisses between your lips and around your neck.

"fuck, me too…" you exhale in response, eyes fluttering and struggling to remain open against his advances. you then registered how this was the closest his handsome self and gorgeous voice has ever been to you, and almost would take this over your weekly check, you were so entranced by it all.

"yeah?" Stephen quizzes as he plants kisses further and further down your body. "have you been wanting to taste me as bad as I've been wanting to taste you?"

by the time he's finished asking this, his glasses are off on the other side of the counter, and his face is eye level with your dripping cunt. your charisma that you display with an instrument in front of you practically never ceases to remain — even when it's someone as attractive (and attracted) as Stephen beneath you. "you're the top flavor I've been dying to try, but it's never on the menu," you reply with a smirk, before shooting him a playful gaze.

Stephen smiles right back at you with his eyebrows raised, biting his lip as he attempts to come up with a witty enough comeback. however, with the clear opportunity sitting right in front of him, he opts to stick his tongue out, giving a teasing lick that sends goosebumps all over your body as a moan forces itself from the back of your throat.

your head bumps against the mirror behind you when Stephen's tongue is willingly trapped between your walls, going every direction but back out. his lips join in, kissing and sucking on your folds, and soon after, his hands grip roughly on your inner thighs to keep your legs open so that he doesn't need to stop… because there's only one thing that will stop him, and he'll go for hours if that's how long it takes for him to receive it.

you're whimpering now, in part because your remaining brain cell reminds you that your impatient, horny asses are still very much in each other's workplace. but also because you can't believe a guy this sweet could be so fucking filthy in anyone's heat, let alone yours. the moans and groans he manages in between licks of varying speeds and intensive slurps send you into some sort of astral projection.

no matter how hard he was trying, your legs shook to a point where they were forcing themselves to close. while Stephen wasn't wanting that, he was too preoccupied to grip his hands on them any tighter. in fact, the hold was loosening to a soft touch that served as a contrast to the way he was devouring you like he hadn't eaten all day.

"you're gonna make me cum, Steph, holy shit!" you exclaim at almost a whisper, fingers wedged in black strands of hair below you. you were slightly startled when he finally let up with a resounding pop, his mouth coated with your juices. that sight alone would've finished you right then and there, but you were secretly determined to hang on a little while longer.

"good," Stephen growls, staring up at you with such salacious eyes that bore into your glassy-eyed gaze. before anything else could be said, you're blankly staring at him as he takes two of his fingers and places them on his lips. acting as a type of lip balm of sorts, he traces those two fingers around his lips before they enter his mouth. you can't help but moan as he moans around them, sucking on them for a brief moment. before you knew it, they were gradually entering your cavern, and by the time the tips brushed against the cervix, that cavern was clenching around the entire length of his fingers.

"oh fuck, right there!" you spit out, hands still in Stephen's hair as you push his head forward. with your eyes squeezed shut, you feel his tongue lick your pussy again, this time collaborating with the ever-increasing pace of his fingers thrusting in and out. he sneaks in a couple more sucks on your folds before you feel heat pooling between your legs. "oh god, I'm cumming… fuck!" you announce mere seconds before sporadically thrusting upward.

while gasping in the midst of oncoming dizziness, you hear gushing along with loud, muffled moaning while still feeling Stephen in several ways. you soon realize that you had squirted all over him, and just like that you felt another orgasm rounding the corner. you feel a hand on the small of your arched back, vibrating as you become deprived of Stephen's mouth and fingers.

you both let some obscene exclamations slip from your lips at one another as Stephen raises himself up from the ground. you get one button undone from his shirt before you taste yourself. he's able to shove his tongue even deeper in your mouth than before while both of your hands meet to undo the belt of his slacks. it's messy, it's nasty, but it's somehow cathartic – even as saliva begins to escape from your mouth.

for a moment, heavy breathing is the only other sound heard in the restroom as pants fall to the floor. "I could pay rent in that pussy if you wanted me to, I fucking swear!" Stephen affirms, making you both chuckle as he pulls his drawers down to join his pants. you remain seated on the counter, frozen and wide-eyed as his hard cock pops out.

there's a short second where you wanna slap the smirk off his face at your initial reaction to his long dick greeting you. yet you wanted it inside you so bad that your hands gravitate to it, and Stephen lets you, his moans low while feeling you get acquainted.

one of his hands are placed on the mirror next to you, and the other joins both of yours around his cock to guide it to your entrance. he bends down to give a couple of kitty licks and wet kisses to your neck, all while the tip of his dick is slapped against your now soaked pussy repeatedly. he continues this until you're calling out his name.

"Steph…"

yet nothing changes, except he inches a bit more of his length atop your cunny, watching juices splash from it.

"Stephen."

he still doesn't proceed any further, smirking at you quite wickedly.

"Stephen! please! fuck me!" you beg, volume be damned.

"louder…" Stephen commands before his lips land on your earlobe, "I want you to be heard on the other side of this door."

"fuck me, Steph, please!!" there's precum dripping from him by this point, and you may or may not have started creaming by the time he bottoms out inside your cunt.

"yes, baby…" Stephen moans out as you clench around him, "let me know how much you've been wanting this dick inside you."

"s-so fucking much," you groan as you feel him finally move, your pussy barely able to handle the thickness.

"so tight," Stephen confirms as he works to increase his speed bit by bit.

"you're so big," you're finally able to tell him in between kisses along his neck.

"yet you're taking me so damn well," Stephen encourages as he continues to drive and pound into you, causing your moans to get louder. "good girl, let everyone know how good you're taking this dick."

"yeah, S-steph, don't fucking stop!" it drove you crazy how much hearing him talk like this was turning you on, and he seemed to grasp that (or he was just on one at this point).

you had no idea how, but not only had the volume of the music increased, but an even more recent version of "Bending My Rules" had begun playing that featured an artist you liked (DIXSON), and guess who even knew that verse well? the guy whose cock was repeatedly hitting your clit.

completely unprovoked, Stephen ran with the synchronic situation as he choked out some of the lyrics in your ear. "🎶 I'm thinkin' 'bout you…… Fiendin' for you…… Yeah, I'm talkin' 'bout you. 🎶"

this song already had significant meaning for the both of you by now, but the both of you could hardly take your moans becoming accidental ad-libs to Stephen's solo performance. you know all too well about letting a singer have their moment, but that bundle of nerves was back in the pit of your stomach just ready to burst.

"f-fuck… h-have I ever… t-told you… just h-how p-perfect you sound, S-steph?" you ask him, staggering over half of those words.

as if on cue, DIXSON's verse started, and Stephen became the feature artist yet again.

"🎵 Girl, you're fucking perfect / Now make me nervous / You give me new purpose / It's more than lip service with you / Mm, we can do this shit too… I'm speakin' a new language with you / Can it just be us two? / If that's okay with you. 🎵"

in between each line being delivered, Stephen drilled incredibly ponderous thrusts into you (as singing while operating any instrument does take practice), and by the end of the bridge, your walls were clenching again at the same time that his dick began throbbing.

"I'm getting close, babygirl," Stephen whines, his forehead perspiring against yours.

"me… too… harder…" you whimper beneath him in time with each jab his cock gives, repeating your last word for emphasis. "harder… harder… fuck me harder, baby!"

before you began begging, Stephen had already begun picking up his pace. however, hearing you call him 'baby' for the first time set him completely the fuck off. his dick fucked into you harder, faster, and even a little deeper. before you could even try and warn him like before, he kisses you just as deeply, not easing up on that pussy for a moment.

his lips were to be a perfect muting device for the clamorous sounds you were preparing to let out. you could only think to yourself, oh god, here we fucking go again, before squirting around Stephen's cock, your cream covering it.

"mmm… oh my god, (y/n), I'm gonna cum…" Stephen proclaims, pulling out and getting the chance to actually see you squirt some more onto the floor before him. "shit… I wanna cum in your mouth."

"and… I want you to cum in my mouth, but I don't think I can move?" you reveal to Stephen, reminding him of just how fucked out (and fucked up) he had gotten you. he reaches underneath you to lift you off of the vanity, but you tell him to wait. he – as patiently as possible – awaits your next move, which was to put his glasses back on for him.

you both smile as he resumes adjusting your position to over by the toilet. you were feeling like the world's biggest whore as Stephen sat down on the bowl, mouth gaping as you wait for his permission to proceed… which he gives you by plopping the tip on your tongue.

you stick your tongue out a bit further, gulping before taking as much of him in your mouth as possible. you strain to keep your eyes open so you can peep his reactions to your hard work, and Stephen does not disappoint. "fuck, fuck, fuck…" he spits out as you moan around his length, receiving evidence of your release all over him, and he clocks that fact as well. "you get to taste yourself too… it's good, isn't it, babe?"

"mmhmm!" you reply before taking in even more of Stephen, feeling the tip brush against the back of your throat. fighting the battle (and losing), you gag around him in an effort to adjust to his girth. seeing the struggle get kinda real down there for you spurred him on, and you eyeballing how he's intently observing you through those circular frames made your legs weaker than they already had been.

if you wanted me to bust again, you could've just said so, you think as Stephen unbuttons the rest of his shirt and discards it by the sink. you moan at the sight of the sweat glistening his skin before dragging one of your hands along it. the other hand begins to stroke his dick with more momentum than either one of you thought you had at this point.

Stephen groans your name before he starts teasing you with something you said earlier. "you said… I had the 'top flavor,' right, doll?"

you both giggle before you answer, "I did," nodding up at him with a grin while your wrapped hand continues moving.

"are you ready to taste it?" he asks, voice beginning to tremble as he threads a hand in your hair.

"I've been ready, babe…" you claim with a seductive wink, placing your tongue right underneath the tip before he could think to maneuver your head himself.

"fuck! here it is…" Stephen pants, his eyes shut before the majority of his load of cum lands directly in your mouth, with a few drops landing along your face. you swallowed a portion before gesturing with your fingers for him to lean closer to you. still panting and recovering, he leans forward.

with the little strength you had recovered, you get on your knees, placing one of your hands on his thighs for support before kissing him. hushed moans of varying degrees leave the both of you as you deliver a helping of his seed in his mouth.

it's still messy, it's definitely nasty, but it's damn stimulating – more than any coffee bean could be.

epilogue

after helping Stephen clean up the restroom, and him leaving to check on the shop before closing it up for the night, you're both back in your car… well, kinda. you're almost completely in the driver's seat, with a leg resting outside.

Stephen? he's completely outside next to that leg, on his knees, planting some final kisses for the night. he started on the inner skin of your thighs, journeying up your stomach, and even giving your breasts some love. you let a couple moans slip from your lips as he bites some hickeys into your neck, and those kisses of each other's lips have not lost their intensity in the slightest, the both of you taking turns biting each other’s bottom lips.

"fuck, Stephen," you breathe out, "go home before we end up doing this at my place."

"that sounds like a good idea for the near future," he notes, standing up with your help before leaning down toward you in your seated position. "speaking of, so I'll see you next week?" he asks, planting one more kiss on a knuckle on your hand, firmly dragging said hand along your clothed pussy lips before letting go completely.

"ahh shit…" you start and trail off before turning on your car's ignition, "you'll see me tomorrow if you're working."

"yeah, I'm working tomorrow," Stephen verifies with a smirk and a kiss on your cheek before whispering in your ear, "and I'll have that double shot of espresso ready for you as soon as I see you."

[professorcalculusstanaccount]

hi! loving your art. I was watching your awesome stories/gifs and I was wondering: how did Chang develop his feelings for Tintin? Did he discover them before or after him? How did he react and why? (English is not my first language so if you see a grammatical mistake, I'm sorry. Also, sorry if so many questions made you feel like you were in a philosophy exam)

Thank you so much! As a contrast to the rest of the Marlinspike team I'm writing Chang as someone who makes friends and develops crushes pretty easily!

I imagine he's had a crush on Tintin for some time, possibly from when they first met. He's been at the mercy of his circumstances for most of his life until that point - Tintin basically makes him feel capable of doing stuff.

He's pretty heartbroken after the Blue Lotus. Tintin doesn't contact him for years. Chang is struggling to adjust to his new family and is failing at school, having missed out on a good education for a few years prior. Until Tibet he feels pretty hopeless, he will never live up to the time when he took down a drug ring.

His near death experience in Tibet shakes him out of this rut. He starts to travel and take up hobbies like dance and photography. Didi trains him in some basic martial arts. Tintin makes an effort to actually stay in touch this time. Chang has some abandonment issues as he's frequently lost people throughout his life, so he's someone who's willing to give people second chances, even if they've hurt him badly. Chang thinks he's well over his crush on Tintin when he comes around to Belgium for his studies, but falls for him again very quickly!

Unlike Tintin, Chang is a lot more comfortable with who he is. He's used to being the odd one out and has generally low expectations for himself, so just goes with the flow.

Below I talk a little with how I'm going about writing him and the historical context surrounding this, cw for mentions of racism (sinophobia) and queerphobia:

I'm writing Chang as bi, I thought it would be interesting to explore as Asian men were perceived differently in the 30s compared to today. While Asian men in the West are currently heavily desexualised in the early 20th century they were stereotyped as predatory and deviant. In London a lot of Chinese immigrants were male dockworkers, so when they married white women there was a lot of fearmongering about predatory and disloyal Chinese men.

A lot of depictions of Asian men in Western media reflected these stereotypes (and often used queercoding to push the idea of Asian men being animalistic seducers - General Henry Chang in Shanghai Express (1932) was written to be bisexual while posing as a threat to the white leads). Some examples off the top of my head include Hishuru Tori from The Cheat (1915) and The Mask of Fu Manchu (1932). Novels frequently depicted Chinese drug lords with borderline supernatural powers in manipulation.

On the other hand I've noticed how fans frequently depict Chang as someone who's submissive, demure and soft, which ignores how ridiculously brave and proactive he is in canon (stealing documents from police officers, charging into a man immediately after getting shot at by a machine gun, I could go on!). It's a common example of Fandom Racism (not accusing anyone specifically, it's just a trend I've noticed.)

When writing Chang I'm kinda reckoning with two different eras. From a contemporary angle I'm writing him as a love interest, which as an Asian guy I rarely see in media today. I also gotta consider his own time and context, how he would navigate being a queer Chinese guy, and how that would affect his relationship with others and himself.

[stickthroughthephases]

Bi-Han headcanons from the top layer of my brain

He's just my little guy, a little rough but he's basically harmless

Cannot cook (freestyle wise), BUT he can chop like nobody’s business and he can also be very thorough because of his perfectionist tendencies so if you give him a recipe you will have an edible meal 

Not a huge inside pet person, but I think if you were to bring in a pet he wouldn’t be opposed to it, he just doesn’t see any reason to engage with the pet 

You don’t go shopping together very often as most of the supplies come in bulk month by month or for dairy, weekly. He likes to accompany you when you go which is why he schedules a day off, finds visiting town useful to understand how everything is working in the area and if there are any local threats 

Most meals he eats alone or with his brothers, because of a tight self-imposed schedule but once he has a partner, he makes an effort to have at least one proper meal which usually ends up being dinner, especially if they aren’t a morning person

As I’ve mentioned here, I’m not entirely sure these guys have a meticulous hair care routine but if their partner offers, Bi-han would have no problem letting them handle his hair (you have to build up to that because of this post)

If his partner is free for the day, and he is just doing paperwork or sitting somewhere, he would like to have them nearby, if you read to him or talk his ear off it makes him feel good because he has issues

Issues include not having enough quality time with family and he realizes how lonely it’s made him even if he tried to hide it so he makes up for it in subtle ways like eating with his partner or just having their presence a few feet apart

I don’t think he would like to shower together, I think showers are very standard for him to simply get clean and exit and by having another person it takes more time so…solo showers…unless…

Slow writer, he likes his writing, for official documents at least, to be legible and pristine so he takes his sweet time writing. Sektor got him a computer but he didn’t like that so they compromised on a typewriter and Bi-han built speed and now writing documents doesn’t take five million years

He has a GREAT memory, not photogenic but damn near close, however, you best hope you don’t do something offensive to him, he can forgive but he’ll never forget

His bun is too tight, and he gets headaches but refuses to change up the style because it's the only one that gets the job done (if it’s really bad you might just catch him with his hair down in his office, near the end of the day whilst he meditates or trains)

*You know that scene from Modern Family when Jay gets Gloria fluffy slippers and she becomes nice, yeah that’s Bi-han, he’s a bit more mellow and pleasant to be around when his hair is down which is…not a lot but still*

If you guys like these, should I write headcanons for someone other than Bi-Han...?

[goaskangel]

bookie!

journalist!reader x business-man!hakari

cw...NSFW, slight manipulation, mention of intox, use of "mister" "sir" "doll", dumification, degradation, all the usual smut stuff LOL

word count...4.8k

a/n...this is my first fic ive posted publicly EEEK lowk nervy but i've read like 2 good hakari fics on this mf website and i js figured i might as well do it myself. my writing here IS NOT MY BEST, i plan to indulge into how i usually write. smut is a little harder for me to write so be patient AND NICE PLZ. mdni!please understand what kind of media you are consuming and be smart about it.

just the way hakari presented himself, it felt as if even if you didn’t suspect anything from him, it was obvious he was a secretive and cocky man. from how he dressed with his constant change between pimpy-fur coats and vulgar tanks with his ever-changing colored hair between purples, blacks, and blondes, it was no surprise he must’ve lied his way to the top. 

and even with this assumption, you couldn’t deny the offer of living with him and your company's team. not necessarily living with him but staying in a private luxury hotel, and sure, maybe your job here wasn’t very important as a journalist but your boss insisted on you attending. 

what kind of moron would pass on the opportunity of possibly breaking through one of japan’s wealthiest and slyest business men anyway?

something about interviews but mostly projects, maybe even a documentary went in your ear and out the other when your boss spoke to you about the expectations on this “trip.”

after being stuck on a reserved bus, you finally manage to push through and make it to a not very deserted place. matter of fact it was right in front of a busy street in the busiest city. you stretched your legs, cracked a few fingers, and headed to the entrance of the tall—what seemed to be marbled—hotel. if you could even call it that. seemed like a resort more than anything. you were told your bags full of equipment for work and clothes for the three day project would be handled by security. the front of the building were two big guards protecting any outsiders. pretty confidential for just a few days. it stays on brand with hakari’s whole attitude, a whole ass hotel in the city only allowing a few people with specific identification. 

inside it looked like everybody from every corporate office in town had been messily dragged in.  heavy steel tables were set randomly with even heavier bags and briefcases on top, open with papers and documents spilling out. 

the man himself was sitting at one of the sturdy desks, his head down.

before you noticed that he decided to go purple, left his black blazer on the shoulders of the chair he sat on, you watched as his hand shook carefully on a paper given to him by the lady standing nearby. 

his hot pink eyes dart back and forth across the page. you assume he was looking for another place to sign because he handed it right back to her after examining. hakari returns back to a binded notebook, the pen still in his fingers. he scribbles words down vigorously. part of you wonders what he’s got going on. another part wonders where your room will be. 

you observe the rest of the lobby. you glance at your boss finally coming through security, the dumb, happy guy starts a conversation with almost everyone as he came. he calls hakari over as if they’ve known each other since the dawn of time, and he follows. they greet one another and you go blank on the rest until your name is called. quickly, you turn to face the men again and walk towards them.

"if the interview goes well—which i'm sure it will—perhaps the documentary could follow up.” your boss explains, still turnt to hakari.

“mhm oh yeah man i’m sure of it, yep.” he agrees, mooning. his white button up hugging him perfectly. 

scrunched up sleeves, pen marks on his forearms. a few buttons undone from the neck. 

“this young lady right here is the foundation of the writing department.”

“oh yeah. so i’ve read.” 

he reaches a hand out, “took you a while to say hi.” 

“you seemed busy, signing shit n’ whatnot.” you smile politely and firmly shake his hand. he cheeses a toothy grin, blue and silver gems shine back at you. 

“pardon her words, man. you know how writers are—can write page upon pages yet their mind goes blank when they have a chance to speak—hah.” your boss shines his own nervous smile. 

“ya, know what they say about business men, can talk for hours and hours, spill what seems to be almost everything, and still have secrets.” he darts his eyes to yours before closing and laughing richly with the older man. 

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

you spend the rest of the night cozying up into your hotel room and lazily journaling down ideas, even scraping up an idea against hakari. you stretch your arms after tossing your notebook shut, you glance over at the alarm on the desk,

11:24 P.M. 

it would be a good time to grab a snack, now that everyone should be asleep. at least you hope so as you walk out in casual clothes. 

you toss the room’s card from hand to hand and pass quiet rooms until turning left to the snack bar. you were told earlier that food would be available for the company whenever, so you figured it must be open now too, with all the staff asleep or at their posts. 

there was an incredible aroma of columbian brew with a dash of vanilla dancing with something hot, something fresh out of the oven. you’re greeted with his strong back. shaped tightly, almost too tight, was a simple white tank. on caramel skin, his wide shoulders flexed as he took a small spoon into his mug, tossing sugar packets and singles of liquid creamers into a trash bin. but it doesn’t really phase you. what were the chances of somebody being here? let alone hakari. it’s ironic and mostly awkward. 

you could’ve left but the pastry before you was calling your name. how awkward could it really be?

you walk towards the counter he was just at, he who was walking back to a two-chaired table. 

“it’s almost midnight.” he speaks and you freeze as if you’ve been caught. obviously, you haven’t, so you quickly grabbed a floral napkin and the pastry. 

“writers stay up late, i know that. but they’re usually alone.”

“well how was i supposed to know somebody else was gonna be up? it is almost midnight.”

“you’re the one writing stories about me and talking shit, i’d assume you’d know everything about me.” he grins as he pulls a chair out, sitting in it and slowly stirring his coffee. steam swirls up from the cup. “take a seat.” 

you walk to him and pull the other chair out, sitting quietly. you break apart the food in your hands and eat it piece by piece, examining the table subtly. 

he’d been sitting there for a while; papers closed a binder with a few pens spilt around. an empty chip bag, a few crumbs near the bottom of the coffee cup, his hands warming up around it. 

his hands were nice.

you swallow casually and look back at him. “you read my stuff? which one of your little employees do you have search for works written about you, huh?” 

“i find ‘em myself, ‘nd you're lucky i don’t report them. can’t have nasty stuff circulating around me, whether if it’s true or not.” 

“—or should i call them workers instead?” you ignore him. 

“your writing is admirable.” 

something about that made you lose track of what you were saying. 

you lay back in your chair and mumble an okay. 

you watch as he takes a sip of his sugared coffee, the steam cupping his face gently and flowing up. 

“so when do you sleep?” 

“i’ll go in a couple,” he says, cracking his knuckles. “schedule’s got all fucked ever since i got here. my manager—and don’t tell her i said this—doesn’t understand the concept of time, or maybe she’s fucking with me. how can i get three hours of paperwork done, meetings between each pile, ‘nd make phone calls back to back, but can’t stay up late?” 

“damn, you’ve even got your sleep schedule sorted?” 

“gotta sneak out here like some goddamn teenager. it’s no big deal, she’s knocked out at 10. jus’ gotta keep kissing her ass and thank her for taking such good care of me. she won’t suspect a thing.” 

you giggle at the irony, “might as well be your girlfriend.” 

“god, more like my mom.” you can see the outline of his tongue grazing his teeth as he grins. probably feeling the gems on his smile, you cross your legs at the view. 

funny and handsome. 

speaking of closing your thighs—you remember you have to get back to your room. 

“we’ve got just three days,” you say as you stand from your chair, “i’m sure we’ll have to work our asses off tomorrow.” hakari looks up at you.

“hmm nobody tell you wha’s happening either?” 

you shake your head and carefully bite the inside of your lip. 

“m’kay. have a good rest of your night, then.” he nods back down and sips his coffee. his tone indicated he practically knew you weren’t sleeping immediately. to enjoy the rest of your night. 

“yeah, i’ll make sure of it. goodnight.” 

as happy as you were to receive a half-vacation, half-business trip at a hotel – the benefits of not having to wake up early just to drive almost an hour to work everyday, the entire company just being outside, your hands would not suffice. you thought to yourself earlier, how great it’d be to stay in a nice, cool room and wind down from a long day. keeping dirty fantasies in your head and just when you thought the tight, small circles on your heat could master an orgasm. but the thought of him kept interrupting. 

a hand crawling up your neck and the other circling underneath your panties. closing your eyes as you concentrated on silver-haired men kissing your breasts, guys who stunk of cigarettes and coffee making out with your clit, god anybody willing to run their hands on your body. you jolt at the sudden twitch of your cunt, your back arching slightly. you groan. the man you’ve been practically stalking and have to work with is now appearing in your head while you masturbate. you switch the bedside lamp off and take off-white sheets over yourself. 

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

on the second day, you pass new people while walking down narrow hallways. each person looking more tired than the one before. you notice just how many people could fill up the lobby and snack bar. as enticing the syrup from breakfast smelled, you keep your distance from everybody else. carefully, you lick the inner of your lips and taste the lipgloss you applied earlier. 

now popping your lips, backing up slowly, still examining the room until you feel what seems to be a pillar or wall behind you. 

“hey… you got a light?” behind you. tall, peeping over you – was that a fur coat? hakari watches everybody else almost as intently as you were. 

you stutter before reaching into your coat’s pocket, “yeah.” he takes it and quickly lights the now-appeared-cigarette of his mouth. 

“a smoke for breakfast? that can’t be healthy.” you cross your arms as he flips the lighter in the air. 

“it wouldn’t have been, hun, we had breakfast this morning already. don't you remember?” he exhales smoke that passes your jaw, making you shudder. 

“here, sounds like you need it.” he says the last part through his teeth, pinching the end of the cig and lowering it to your mouth. you glare to your side and lean in to wrap your lips around it, inhaling. you pull away and spew smoke out much more discreetly. he takes another, blowing it out, licking his lips, “tastes like bubblegum.” 

after set-ups and mic-checks in steel stools and numerous questions, you’re sitting in front of a laid-back hakari. his legs man-spread and his hands fixing his hair every other second. a very specific rage comes back to you. the same anger that you felt staying up to post blogs about complicated, but evident-filled, theories and what you truly think is the truth about the man sitting in front of you. the feeling is nostalgic. your nerves are overfilled with different emotions – since when could a man controlling so many industries, controlling so many people and still handle an underground fight club while acting like a semi-normal person? but normal people don’t wear fur-fucking-coats on the regular, let alone keep illegal ranges where people fight like bears just to be bet on like horses. 

two cups of steaming coffee are placed in the high-wooden table between you and hakari. 

“this part of the interview will be audio-presented. the second part will be videotaped.” the host of the section stands above the recorder, the rest of the crew standing around or still finishing breakfast. “etiquette for the tape is pretty simple – ‘ms and mr’ is usually set and the rest is self-explanitory.” 

you nod kindly and look at the man, meeting his eyes, ones that perhaps never left you. 

easy, almost-boring questions are asked but it hadn’t prepared you for what was going to come. the questions slowly make less and less connection and stay focused on hakari. “ethicality is mentioned within businesses and is no exception to your work, ms l/n.” before being asked the repetitive question, the topic being how many times can we make hakari look like a god in one tape, you interrupt the host. 

“morals are nowhere to be found in such work. there’s – again – no sense.” now slouched, hakari responds, “tell me, when searching for a job that pays well, were you interested in the pay or how many hours you had to work? ‘s there something you w’na say about being able to survive or how comfortable you are?” 

“sometimes it just boggles me to think about how one person needs more than one business. is it for fun, mister?”

“is what for fun, girl?” 

“is being a con-man to violent people and making them believe knocking each other’s teeth out will help for fun?” 

the host stutters and gets shushed, “well, you’re very right. that wouldn’t be ethical at all.” he smiles very faintly. too faintly for you to lash out and not make it seem like you’re crazy. 

“untruthful about being a bookie and fight-promoter. does gachinko ring a bell?”

“any more questions? how about all my employees' salaries? wanna know my salary? how’s about ‘you busy after this?’” 

the recorder falls off the foldable table after being shaken, “for the love of god.” your boss yells and stops. scrunching his fat nose and pinching the bridge. “that was the fourth time. i just… you know what, we’ll continue tomorrow morning. kinji you’ve got a meeting we’ve, i’ve, been trying to hold off but it seems like everybody’s in the mood for a break.” he walks to the exit of the lobby, followed by some of his crew. hakari gets up, exhaling and cracking his fingers and wrists. 

“almost as good as your writing. but writers always gotta fuck up while speaking.” he picks up the recorder from the ground and tosses it to the full cups of coffee. 

“are they going to post it?” 

he shakes his head. 

“then what?” 

“might do it all again tomorrow. a little more strict, too. it’s not like it was a bad tape either. just like you know, i can’t let shit spread around about me. i would never allow it.”  

you scoff and watch him walk off, cursing under your breath.

it’s the evening when he comes back, bringing a few drunk men through the guards. you nod your head back and forth between your open laptop and the men that find their wobbly way to the lounge's couches. you tune out their slurred talk and how hakari’s joking gets belly-laughs from them. he cackles with them, clapping his hands bluntly. he sighs, tears in his eyes, as he walks past the random suitcases and desks spread-about. 

you type away at your slightly dull keys, clumsily taking your gel-pen and drabbling a note down. 

“workin’ hard, i see.” you feel a heavy hand land on your left shoulder and glance over to the other side of the desk, hakari’s ringed-fingers tapping away at the steel. 

“what’re you writing down…” he mumbles and leans over obnoxiously. you lean back in your chair, looking at him looking at your notes. 

“god, are you drunk? didn’t you just have a meeting?” 

“drunk? nah, i don’t get drunk.” 

“i can smell the whiskey from your breath.” 

“ah-ha, you knew i drank whiskey, huh. looks like even an overworked girl like you knows how to have fun, too.” he looks at you with literal joy in his pupils. face tampered with blush while smiling like a hyena. “anyway,” he stands back up, the grip on your shoulder falling to your bare-arm. “even your handwriting is nice.” 

“uh-huh…” you press your thighs together, feeling the cold metal of his jewelry on your skin. his hand so big compared to your arm. part of you hopes his long gaze is down your blouse. 

it is.

“ya look good.” he speaks through the rasp in his throat but all you hear is a mutter, he gives your arm a squeeze before patting it and walking toward the corridor of rooms. 

you let out a shaky sigh and feel yourself burn up, staring at your yellow-notepad. hakari strides to his room, the last room of the hallway, stretching his arms. he takes a gold card out and shoves it into the slot. 

he lets out a serene moan when his back hits the bed. tossing his keys, phone, and whatever junk out of his pockets onto the nightstand. his large coat following. he groans and kicks off his shoes. something still bothering him. he reaches his hands down to his belt and unravels it, throwing it down. unbuttoning and zipping to comfort the ache below his stomach.

god, how hard could a guy get from one conversation? his slit brows raise as he grins, taking his weeping cock and holding the base.

thinking about all the things you’d say, 

you’re so vulgar. not enough action recently, huh? what stress’ll do to ya…

“yeah, baby, stress.” he takes his other hand and taps the underside of his cock in his palm. closing his eyes and imagining your sweet self between his legs, those same tits in his view. your pink tongue lolling out for him. “finally shut that smart-ass mouth up… use her for something fuckin’ useful.” he groans, stroking himself. 

what makes him throb is how dumb you’d gotten when his hands were on you. how fucking sweet and quiet you went when his fingers stroked your arm, weren’t you exposing him just a couple of hours ago? what a desperate girl. he swears out as he jerks spurts of come onto his clothed shirt. “yeah, hmph god, yeah, that’s good..” he pants like a dog, eyes going heavy. 

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

another day passes and you haven’t come. guilt swats your hand away everytime you try, anyway. you start to get sick of the syrup and eggs roaming the air. you sit at the same spot from last evening and observe the room.

half of your company is eating breakfast or still passed out on the couch. the others, probably asleep or dealing with tech. your boss walks towards you and places a cup of coffee down in front of you. 

“we oughta work on you, huh? hah!” he stirs wood in his own cup. 

“you’re not hungover? i’m surprised you’re up this early.” 

“gotta stay professional, ya know…i only had one shot. maybe a couple. this coffee’s really good, drink some.”

“right because drinks on the second day of a work-trip is highly professional.”

“hey, come on.” he frowns and drinks a sip of his obviously too hot roast. “where is everybody? hell, where’s kinji?” he drifts off to a new group of people near the snackbar. 

the lobby fills again with the occasional technical difficulty, yet no hakari to be found. you wish you could throw it off and be so disconnected that you didn’t even realize the star wasn’t here like some of your colleagues, but you kept your eyes on that same corridor. the loud bitch from the room on the tallest floor went through your ear and out the other. you didn’t even realize the fly that was constantly buzzing had been trying to get your attention. 

“do you know where kinji is?” she was beautiful but still his assistant, loud and fussy like a bad mom. if she didn’t know where he was, how were you supposed to know? you put on a concerned look with a little smile, “might be in his room.” you get up and begin walking to the hallway, how the hell did they not check his fucking room? you swear your eyes roll so far to the back of your head, that if you didn’t have ears to hear the bitch’s loud heels clacking, you could’ve seen her behind you. you turn to the last door on the right and knock, remembering how many men had to carry luggage upon luggage inside. 

“hello? mister, we’re waiting on you.” you knock faster than time. “hakari?” the door swings open and your hand is met with another. before you can say anything, he shushes you and looks around, pulling you into his room and says, “give me a’minute. take a seat.” he leaves. by seat he probably refers to his bed, the entire room cluttered by stuff. you sit on the edge of his bed and sigh, taking a moment to collect what just happened.  

he was shirtless. the bathroom door being open and light on explains why, he’d taken a shower. the mirror was still foggy and the towel hung on the door’s hanger. there was a faint smell of vanilla and something floral. you would’ve been pissed to be in a messy room like this but you figured it was better than being out with everybody else. 

the door opens again and a calm hakari walks in, closing the door and locking it. 

his hair is damp but you only notice how he’s clothed in a towel. one that hangs low at his hips. 

“everybody’s waiting, and you’re not even dressed yet.” 

“s’fine, y/n. i bought us some time. these people, they’ll listen to whatever i say.” he says with a smile, and you look back at him with confusion.

“but the interview…?” your mouth drops gently when his hand comes to hold your face. 

he sighs and looks up and away. your legs are shut and you swallow the sudden pool of saliva in your mouth as your eyes are fixated on his sharp, shaved jawline and how his adam’s apple flexes as he speaks. “this job’s real tough, i know it is, ‘nd you want a break. doesn’t everyone?” he looks back down at you, his eyes filled with what seems to be.. lust? you furrow your eyebrows and nod slowly. he carefully puts some hair behind your ear and leans down to whisper against your skin, “w’na be a good girl and take some of that stress away from the both of us?” he kisses a part of your jaw, “my good girl?” 

oh god. 

did you write half of your career on this greedy man just for him to be licking your ear? leading a hand to your button-up and slowly undoing the pearly clasps? 

his hand now on your bare leg, going up and up your mid-pencil skirt. you feel yourself get dizzy from the thought of him feeling your lacy panties, holding a hand on his strong shoulder, his skin slightly wet. did you wear them on purpose? you can’t think. he stands back up, his hand slithering and rubbing the back of your neck. breathing heavily, you start to undo the rest of your shirt’s buttons. “yeah, there ya go.” he encourages you until your laced bra is exposed. 

he hooks a finger on the side of your panties and tugs them off, you reach under your skirt and tug the other side. he takes both sides and peels away, “mhhm, always liked a matching set.” your skin burns at embarrassment, not from what he said but how wet the middle of your core was and how drenched the crotch of your panties were. 

“a lil’ kissin’ got you this soaked, huh? you want this? ain’t you just sweet, doll.” he throws it to the corner of the bed and hums when you nod. “s’quiet when you’re needy.” hakari pushes two fingers at your lips just when you thought you could finally say something. “open.” he demands gently and grins when you comply. they find their way to the middle of your mouth and you can’t help but suck softly. “mhm that’s good, suck ‘em good. cost about’a milli’ each, heh.” he takes them out and pushes you slowly onto your back, spreading your legs, holding one up with a burly arm. 

“fuck.” is the only thing you manage to let out when he bunches your skirt up to your waist.

“be quiet f’me now.” he spits a glob onto his two fingers and presses them to your clit. you gasp at the content. 

“so wet.” he mumbles.

circling tight, slippery rounds on your aching bud. the guilty friction you’ve been craving finally went through. a sudden warmth and pleasure take over your pelvis. heat rises to your upper body, your hands slightly shaking and your ears burning, god, what were you doing? you watch and feel his dirty mastered hand bring you shame. your entire career faltered just for your fulfillment, the guilt so heavy, it makes you moan out. 

“huuh, mister – shit, i need it.” you speak whispers breathlessly. 

“yeah? you need it, baby?” he brings his focus to your pathetic expression, pushing and curling two fingers into your cunt. you moan out and watch, feel, as his fingers pump in and out of you. his hands are skilled as they break you open little by little. “sweet girl with a needy cunt, must’ve hit the fuckin’ jackpot.” your clit throbbing as you watch him grope himself and ease his own ache through the white towel. 

“c’mon, please sir.” you tap the side of his waist with your heeled foot. 

“patience, girl.” he pulls his fingers out and pats your vulva a few times before pulling your body close to his. his hand finally, finally pulling down the towel. the thing that kept distracting you from nights of sleep now dripping pre just above your heat. he gives himself a couple of strokes, long and heavy as your body begged, driving yourself closer ‘til your ass was almost off the bed. 

“shh shh.” he rubs his wet tip against your folds as you start begging quietly, your slits sloppily kissing. he groans when your cunt flutters, pushing himself into the first tight muscle.

you writhe at the sudden burn, making you mewl ever-so quietly. 

“be a good girl f’me.” he presses a hand on your lower stomach in comfort before moving his hips forward with no intent of stopping until he’s bottomed out. you moan long whines and grind your body down to try and get more, the stretch already burning. “fuck, goddamn it.” the warmth you bring him is unmatched, all he can think about is how hot you feel.

“fuck me – wan’ more.” you clench down and get a moan out of him. his hands hold down onto your plush thighs as he rocks back and forth into you, your folds swallowing him whole everytime. your throat burns at the way you choke out whimpers, drool seeping from the sides of your plump lips. “what’s your company g’na think of you now, hmm? director of the – fuckin’ writing department– their smart girl’s gotta fuck it all up cause she couldn’t resist some cock.” his hips start to fasten and he keeps a tight grip on your legs, your pretty, fucked out, face stays red. “‘s okay, pretty. you ain’t gotta say nothing, jus’ take it like the dumb girl you are and i’ll forget about all the mean little things you said, mhm?” 

“uh-huh.” your head’s spinning from the grinding he’s now doing, the underside of his cock rubbing back and forth and back and forth on the rough spot inside of you. your thighs tremble as you feel yourself getting close. you get louder and hiccup about how good it is.

“ya – yesyesyes please awh fuck,” your hands groping at the back of your neck and the hard nipples of your breast as you arch your back off of the white sheets, “coming – oh god kin’ i’m gonna come, come. thank you thank you…!” the hard waves of heat and fuzziness take up what seems to be your entire body as you cream all over the base of his cock, hakari still pumping himself inside, riding your release out. “god, fuck, baby. stay still.” eagerly, he takes his hard-on out and jerks himself above your mound before coming straight, hot lines of cum onto your stomach. 

he pants, “you wanna talk to me about my morals?”

“jesus fuck. shut the fuck up.” 

[calciumdeficientt]

Hey, Bif headcanons *slides a 503737494 dollar note* keep the change man

Gee thanks! I can’t wait to *checks smudged writing on hand* buy aguaburdy with this!

BIF TAYLOR HEADCANONS

Bif Bif he’s our man he’s our man who… cannot tan. It’s really sad, all the other preps can lounge freely in the sun and get various levels of luxurious tan while Bif… he just burns. If he doesnt apply countless coats of factor 50 suncream every hour or so he will go from milky white, to red, and then to blistered. There is no tan to be seen. Under the right conditions he does develop a smattering of cute little freckles but he never actually tans.

Bif prides himself on his boxing, in fact for a long while he put all his eggs in one basket and focused purely on the noble art. But he also plays a mean game of basketball, given his imposing stature. He doesn’t play often because there’s little to no preps that would even consider touching a basketball, let alone playing with it. He’s been told its improper for him to play more modern sports like basketball, so he doesnt bother with it much. He can only thrash Justin in a shootout so much before he actually feels bad for the guy.

He has to get all his pants tailor made. Not even out of a desire for them to be bespoke, they’ve got perfectly decent pairs of trousers at aquaberry, its more out of necessity. Bif’s height is oddly distributed, he’s got far more leg than torso, so most pants in his waist size when pulled up become capris. He had growth spurt after growth spurt as a kid so he’s no stranger to having things tailored (if you’ll excuse the pun), but now he’s a little older he does feel mildly left out when the other guys go out to buy their schoolwear and he can only purchase the top half of all his outfits.

Bif has a frequent flier card for rhinoplasty, he’s had countless nose jobs but just can’t seem to stop getting pounded in the face and wasting another 10 grand of his father’s money. Between surgeries, Bif does his best to draw attention away from his nose, not that anyone can really see that high anyway. It’s usually crooked, often tilted to the left but dependent on who he was last fighting it can sometimes skew right.

Derby wont be seen with him until he gets his nose fixed AGAIN so Bryce takes over as right hand man and Bif can get some much needed rest. He’s a very tired young man, especially as he spends most of his time following Derby around like a lapdog. And from all the boxing too, he trains seven days a week, often for up to nine hours a day. All that and school is enough to tire anyone out.

He has a shrine of his own achievements in his room at Harrington house, he doesn’t need to keep them, they’re also displayed at glass jaw, where he spends most of his time anyway. But he feels he has to keep them in his room to remind him that he is not, in fact, a failure and has accomplished many great things. Hanging around a guy as effortlessly self assured as Derby Harrington puts a lot of pressure on you, this is doubled by the fact that Bif has been the title holder for so long, he can’t relax, he can’t seem sure of his position, or he’ll lose it.

Collector and documenter of all things rap, well maybe not all things but he has a catalogue of a good few artists. His interest is mostly in the rap scene of the late 80’s to early 90’s with artists like The Notorious BIG, Ice Cube, Eminem and MF Doom as staples of his collection. He wish the preps weren’t quite so snobby about music, Bif genuinely believes that if they just tried to listen to some of the artists that they might genuinely really enjoy it. It’s all just poetry… often, violent poetry. Like war poetry, y’know?

Bif all likes to collect watches, they’re so effortlessly classy to him, and they can really elevate an outfit. It’s not often he gets to wear his watches, he’s fighting and training so often that he sometimes forgets to put one on in the few hours he has spare before he’s back in the ring. But for special events like parties, galas and other such fancy gatherings, he takes a good amount of time (heheh get it) to search for the perfect timepiece to go with his suit. The one he wears most often is a white gold rolex that Derby bought him for. Christmas when he was a Freshman, a ‘welcome to bullworth’ gift, if you will. They’d been tots together but up until then no one had really ever taught him to appreciate watches in the way Derby had.

[prettyyoungandbored]

Be Careful

Pairing: Johnny Knoxville x Reader

Warnings: language, slight fluff, female reader, idk

Author’s Note: I have no business writing this, but I did. So yeah.

NOT MY GIF

The alarm clock read 1:15 A.M. as Y/N exhaled softly.

Her eyes darted back to the television where some black and white movie played. She was half paying attention to it, her mind elsewhere and eyes mostly shifting between the clock and her cell phone.

She was invited to go to the bar with the guys, but she declined, exhausted from spending the day organizing their medical records. She shouldn’t have offered, but considering how frequent the trips to the hospital were, she figured it would be useful for each of them to have a binder that contained important medical documents in the event of an emergency.

Jeff was beyond thankful for it and she was happy to help considering Johnny wouldn’t let her do any stunts lately.

Even though Johnny was a pro at what he did, she still worried. Going through his medical binder was a kick in the stomach for her. His was the most personal considering he was her fiancé. She often worried when she got calls from the guys if it was going to be that “one call.” When they called “action” and she watched Johnny begin, she said a mental prayer begging for him to make it out alive.

The door opened and Johnny appeared, smiling.

“Hey there, cutie,” he greeted her, before bending down to untie his red converse. “Thought you’d be asleep.”

“I tried but just couldn’t seem to keep them closed,” she said, reaching over to turn the light on for him. “Did you guys have fun?”

“Sure did,” he replied, throwing off his jacket and tossing it onto the chair in the corner. “You know how it is. I wish I could say you didn’t miss much, but we spent the night helping get Tyler the PA laid.”

She cracked a smile. “It’s the least you boys could do considering you made him mud wrestle Bam.”

He laughed. “That was the logic.”

He pulled down his jeans before crawling into bed beside her in his boxers and graphic tee. He propped his elbow up, resting his cheek against the palm of his hand.

“I really did miss you tonight,” he said, using his other hand to tuck her hair behind her ear. “I was a little bummed you didn’t come out with us.”

“I know.” She exhaled. “Honestly, I just needed to decompress.”

“Seemed like you were having an off day,” he noted. “You wanna talk about it?”

“I know you know what you’re doing and I trust you,” she said. “It’s important to me that you know that. It’s just, going through your medical records was a hard pill for me to swallow. I get worried that one prank will be one that either kills you or leaves you with some permanent injury or that these injuries eventually…”

She paused, realizing how pathetic she sounded. She closed her eyes. “I’m sorry. I-.”

“Don’t apologize for that,” he said. “I’m fucking serious. Don’t.”

“No but-.”

“No - hey, look at me. Open your eyes and look at me.”

She opened her eyes to find him smiling at her. The same smile that made her weak in the knees when she first saw it.

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” he said. “I know it’s a lot for you, and I can’t thank you enough for standing by me and putting up with this shit even when it’s hard to deal with.”

“It’s not that I deal with it. It’s just me getting worried because I love you.” She gave him a small smile. “I told you I’m not going anywhere and I meant it. No amount of concussions or broken limbs or any other injuries is gonna change that. All I ask that you be careful, ok?”

“I will,” he promised, kissing the top of her head. “But only because I think you’re cute.”

She snorted. “That’s the only reason, huh?”

He nodded. “Pretty much. It’s really the only reason I’m marrying you.”

She rolled her eyes. “Then I guess it’s ok for me to say I’m only marrying you because the sex is great.”

He shrugged. “Works for me. Now, c’mere.”

He pulled her body under his, peppering her face with quick kisses. “Just one more week then you and I head off to Vegas.”

“Having second thoughts?”

“Never. I’m all in, baby.” He pulled his head back for a sec. “Are you?”

“Not a chance, Clapp. I’m in it for the long haul.” She paused. “Unless, of course, I decide to marry the Elvis impersonator instead. I’ll figure it once we get there.”

[accio-victuuri]

MY RECENT READS ( April - August 2023 ) 📚

a mix of manhua/manhwa/danmei novels. i’ve also been on an omegaverse binge so you’ll see a couple of those on here. this is my way of documenting what i’ve read and sharing it to anyone who is probably looking for their next read.

I have linked the actual source of where i read them so you can look up the summary & reviews and see if it’s something you like. Please mind the tags and warnings too. ^^

===============

MANHWA/MANHUA

===============

Limited Run ( Seasons 1 & 2 ) - sometimes i’m just in the mood for some toxic relationship with good smut and this hits the spot. tho the MC (Yeon-Oh) is really put in an ugly situation, and really just wants to have a better life and escape. It’s not his fault. The power imbalance is definitely there and like 99.9% of people reading it is there for the smut.

Love Shuttle ( Seasons 1-3 ) - I am very late to this story cause when I started reading this was always at the top of people’s rec lists — especially for omegaverse and now i know why. I love a younger alpha x older omega dynamic so I’m happy with that then add in the enemies to lovers trope. The characters are likable and the story progresses well. Usually for omegaverse, there’s always some angst going on but this felt enjoyable to me. Totally a good read.

Omega Complex ( Completed ) - I AM ABSOLUTELY OBSESSED WITH THIS STORY. I have read it multiple times and it’s marked as completed, but the extras are not. If I were to pick my ideal omegaverse story and art it would be this. Again. Older Omega x Younger Alpha. This one is they started as childhood friends who became estranged because of “circumstances” and met up again in college. The school setting itself and supporting characters are well done too. Most stories have fleshed out supporting characters only if they will be a second couple or something, but this does not use that ploy.

There are misunderstandings but i’m okay with that. I know people are stupid and bad at communication in real life so i don’t really get readers who complain about it. Maybe if it’s too much or doesn’t serve a purpose. It’s necessary in this one tho.

THE SMUT IS GORGEOUS. No. Really. How can you describe smut as gorgeous? Well. Read it and you will find out. 👀

BUT THE BEST THING IS I AM INVESTED WITH THE PAIRING. I love them so much. 😭😭😭 from childhood friends to going to school together and all + grown ups.

Their aesthetic also kinda reminds me of the GG & WYB. so yeah.

Cheeky Habits of my Rabbits - what happens when you combine absolute cuteness and smut? This. I love it. It shouldn’t work, the premise is weird, but it’s a great read! hilarious too. Neungso is the most precious bunny!!!!

The Pizza Delivery Man & the Golden Palace ( on Hiatus ) - How do I even begin to describe this without foaming in the mouth. I wish the hiatus will be over and we will know more and see how the story progresses. It looks like a simple premise, MC is a pizza delivery guy who is struggling and he forms a relationship with a rich regular from the “golden palace”. BUT NOOOO. The writing is special. The way the ML’s struggle with his anxiety/trauma and how MC’s simple kindness helped him is so romantic.

Especially the scene when they first met in the rain and the MC offered his umbrella. You never know what people are going through, so it’s best to be kind. It was such a small gesture but it changed both of their lives.

It’s a story of how love can heal. 😌

Plus the MC — Woo Won is one of my favorite leads ever. He is so gentle and kind even if the world is treating him badly, he still makes a conscious decision to be good. He deserves all the love and success! ML ( Seo-An) better spoil him well! 😤

Their problems don’t magically disappear, it’s just easier to exist because you have someone standing beside you. 🤍🤍🤍

The New Recruit ( completed ) - a solid office romance. if you’re into that then pick this up! there’s no toxic power imbalance going on or abuse. I like how MC is someone who started his career a bit late, so he is older than his peers and still a newbie. A perfect read over the weekend.

Mr. Y & Mr. J - I can’t find the link to the completed version I read so sorry for that. Anyway, this one is with theme of “regression” is I think the right time. Where the MC dies and lives again years prior. So they get a second chance at life. The setting is also entertainment industry which i personally enjoy so there was no way i won’t like it.

Salad Days ( Season 1 ) - Something I AM VERY LATE to. I think everyone and their mom have read this so I won’t go into details. I loved the first season and will definitely go back to finish the rest. The pairing is so OTP material 💟

The side characters in the MC’s life, his friends, are so precious too!

Dawn of the Dragon ( Season 1 ) - Fantasy / Smut. That’s all I can remember. What I really wanna know tho is the backstory of the Dragon and who was his mate from the past. I have a feeling the MC is some sort of reincarnation of that person.

Raising Beta (completed) - A very short read. It’s fucked up. LOL. Basically the MC is a beta and the ML who is obsessed with him turns him into an Omega. not only that, he did a lot of other things all in the name of “love” and as a reader you are there to watch it and you can’t do anything to help the MC. It’s definitely an experience to read this. It reminds me of something Kai Bi Qiu might write so maybe that’s why I enjoyed it more than i should. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Hyacinth (completed) - Awwww this one is sweet and makes me all somft. I have re-read this too cause it’s pretty short and the art is beautiful. The MC’s focus on how many meals he has shared with ML was a nice addition and added to the romance.

Plus their little family of three is so cute! XIAO YI IS THE BEST KID. 🥹🥹🥹

How to snag an Alpha ( Completed ) - All I can say is that it’s super funny and the MC is definitely a character. I got so much secondhand embarrassment from the shit he pulls but he ended up getting the Alpha so i think it’s worth it! 😂

Sweet not Sugar ( Season 1 ) - I found this when searching for “green flag” alphas and well this satisfied that. I love the MC here so i’m happy that he gets to be with someone who doesn’t treat him like trash. The MC is at a point in his life where he thinks everyone is out to abuse him in some way so meeting ML unsettles him.

LEE DAN! You deserve to be loved! No matter what happened to you in the past 🥹🥹🥹

December ( Season 1 ) - This is one that I actively check to see if it’s updated cause I’m so invested with the pairing. It should be the usual omegaverse trope but add in the backstory, somehow makes it special. They both meet years ago and MC who is an omega “awakened” the ML into being an Alpha. ML then looks for this mystery person and when he finds him, he will do everything to keep him.

I’m doing a very bad summary i know, i promise it’s not boring. There are other issues discussed in the story, like how horrible omegas are treated. I looooove it when the Alpha goes feral and violent in certain moments too but when it comes to his Omega he is somft.

Their library dates too!!!! 😍😍😍😍

Who’s baby is it? ( Ongoing 200 + chapters ) - My comfort read! I swear. The plot was initially straightforward then it went in a bizarre direction but i still like it. It’s still not finished even with all the chapters and I imagine they can still stretch it to last forever 😂😂😂

My fave would definitely be the children! Rourou!!!! I initially picked this up cause I wanted a story with a cute kid. and i got what i wanted.

+ Entertainment industry setting <3

My Delicious Dream Boy ( Completed ) - The kind of supernatural read that still manages to be fun and light. The MC here is funny without even trying. He only wants to have friends and experience “college life” after years of having to stay at home because of his sickness. The plot could have easily gone dark but it focused more on relationships and the pairing’s growth as individuals — which was so much better for me. Definitely a favorite and reread material.

Affectionately ( Completed ) - This could have been more fleshed out cause there is more story to tell but what can i do.. It is what it is…

It features cute animals cause the MC is supposedly gifted in interacting with them and the ML is the complete opposite. They also work at a cafe together. I chose to read this cause I wanted fluff and it did not disappoint.

My favorite glasses holder ( Completed ) - the MC and his love for men with glasses 😂😂😂 ML is a grumpy kitty and works so well with MC’s bright personality. I didn’t expect to enjoy it as much as i do. After this, I have craved for more modern setting stories.

===============

DANMEI NOVELS

===============

Deer Fei Fei - an adorable story of the MC who is in the entertainment industry and his “senior” who he idolizes. if you are into a fanboy getting his idol trope they give it a try. It’s also really short with 32 chapters only 💕

Transmigrated and forced to do Business - my guilty pleasure is when the MC transmigrates in the book where they are supposed to be the villain but they don’t want that. So they do everything the can to be on the good side of the book’s protagonist and well… we all know what happens after.

Have you ever met such a cold author? - Fanboy reader who writes fanfics meets his favorite author. That’s it. I was sold with the premise and it did deliver. ☺️

Bu Wang - I started the Manhua and wanted more so I MTL-d it over at gonzicp so I don’t have the proper english translation. I was just craving for a merman type of story and this popped up. It was nice! How the ML became so devoted to him and chased MC when he left AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!

Stars run to him - I have to take Knoxt ( website ) for this cause i swear i was only browsing completed novels and I randomly clicked on this. It’s what i love about Knoxt, there are translated works there that are not as popular. Absolute gems that deserve more audience.

This is a perfect example. 💕

DON’T LET THE SUMMARY FOOL YOU. I enjoy myself some fake dating for sure, but this is so much more than that. Especially that clue in there : “Gu Zhongyi has loved him for many years…” I don’t think I’ve ever read something like this and that’s why it stuck with me. It would have been so confusing but it was written very well and seeing it all unfold is a treat. Definitely a classic.

It seems there is light - Such a pure story. I swear. A great story about first love and two people who care for each other. It may be boring to some, depending on the headspace you’re in, but please give it a try.

-END.