#and then when i realize i do i feel so proud bc damn i can understand english

[nondualiber]

real useful things i've realized about loa while i was "resting" from tumblr & overconsumption:

• stop gaslighting yourself, make actual change instead. you know when you're not doing it right. if you spiral, get desperate, dwell in the old story... well, i've got some news. -- this might seem obvious but for me it wasn't. i was super desperate, giving like 1 step forward 50 steps back but i still played blind bc i thought that if i just said "oh no but my mindset doesn't matter" that would solve all my problems. damn

• WHAT WORKS FOR YOU. ik EVERYONE says this but omfg. i can NOT stress this enough. actually find what works for you. i used to think that my key (decide once n keep going with my day) was not a "correct" way to do it bc it made "no sense" or wtv, but now i've manifested a lot of things with that method & i'm so proud of myself for doing so :,,) wdym with "works for you"? whatever makes you confident enough to not spiral, to believe you actually have what you want, to not pay attention to the 3d & doesn't make manifesting feel like chore but something that comes naturally for you is the correct way to do it. trust your feelings, your intuition, yourSelf; they don't lie

• work on your manifesting concept, a.k.a trust in law. we talk a lot about "self" concept but not about "manifesting" concept. for me, i (kind of) believed i could manifest, i just didn't believe 100% in law. i still don't, but i've gotten considerably better!! my best tip to build trust in law was to start manifesting things that were "easier", more archivable, but not happening on a daily basis so i'd know if it was my manifestation turned reality

• stop consuming. not over-consuming but just consuming, literally. don't read neville, don't open tumblr, don't listen to edward nor any other coach! again, this one was obvious to everyone but me. trust me, you already know everything you need. "but i actually put in practice what i read!" yeah, but which one? you read 100 methods everyday. consuming is thinking from the 3d, and long-term it will demotivate you. trust me

• and last one, forget about deadlines. "when will i have it?" now. "where?" here. now and here. keep that mindset, and tbh in one week it'll be done

[luxaryllis]

hi!! if you're accepting requests rn could you pls write just pure angst of azul with a younger sibling who he was super close to before, but when their parents got divorced they grew distant bc the sibling went to live with their dad instead of with him and his mom. then a few years later sibling ends up attending nrc and azul recognizes them and is excited to talk to them again only to discover that they're not the same as before.

rlly loved your scared younger sibling fics. they gave me chest pains bc of how damn sad they were. keep up the good work :)

Brother Knows Best

Note: OMG!! What is this!? I, Lux, FINALLY finishing something and posting it?! Has a miracle truly happened?!

Anyway, I'll just write the sibling of this one as a year younger than Azul, and the sibling was also be an octopus merfolk. I'm going to mention the reader having interests in some stuff, so please don't get offended if it doesn't apply to you. You can always just replace the traits I put as a trait of yours!

And imma just use Ashengrotto as the family name, cuz idk if Ashengrotto was the last name of Azul's bio father, or step-father, or the maiden name of his mother.

Warning/s: Parents divorcing, Split custody, Angst, Spoilers to Azul's backstory and past, Spoilers to Azul's Ceremonial Robes vignettes, Reader is mentioned to have somewhat similar features to Azul (specific features aren't specified), Tell me if I missed anything

Full post under the cut!

-----

"Big brother! Why are you crying?" A slightly smaller mer-octopus swam closer with a concerned expression.

Azul, who was hiding in an octopus pot, looked up to his sweet and innocent little sibling. The 7-year-old boy's eyes soften, and Azul knew that it was only a matter of time before his baby sibling, [Name], would go through all the bullying and teasing as well.

But Azul didn't want that. He wanted [Name]'s cute smile to last forever. He wanted [Name] to not have to see and experience the horrors of simply being themself. He wanted to protect [Name] from everything and everyone who dared hurt them.

Azul's heart squeezed in his chest as he realizes that he can't. He can't protect [Name]. Azul couldn't even protect himself! He truly was... a weak, dumb, slow little octopus...

Tormented by his thoughts, Azul continued sobbing, hiding further into the octopus pot, hiding his chubby face from his little sibling.

"Don't look at me!!" Azul cries out, accidentally spitting out ink from his tentacles, staining the waters around them. The mess caused Azul to cry even more, the ugly black liquids reminding him of what the other kids told him.

[Name] frowns softly, they didn't know why their big brother was upset. The younger mer-octopus moves closer to the octo-pot, trying to coax their older brother to come out.

"Zul-ie.. what's wrong? I don't like seeing you sad..."

Upon receiving no response, the younger child purses their lips in a pout.

"Come onnn...! Mom and dad made dinner! They made fried chicken! Your favorite!!"

---

"Big brother!! Look, look! Wanna hear this song I learned on the piano?!"

Piano keys played a gorgeous melody under [Name]'s fingers, and Azul watched with wide eyes full of wonder and pride. Azul felt a small sense of envy in him, but he couldn't find it in himself to acknowledge the jealousy, because Azul was too proud of his younger sibling to do that.

And yet...

As [Name] learned more and more, Azul couldn't help but feel... left behind.

As though [Name] doesn't need him anymore.

But... but that isn't true right? [Name] needs Azul... right...?

As days and years pass by, nagging feelings of envy and worthlessness bubble up in Azul as he watches his sibling shine.

'I should be proud of them,' he thinks to himself as his mind wanders while he was studying.

---

'Mom and dad don't love each other anymore...'

Those were the thoughts in the two siblings' heads while they listened to their parents argue for what felt like the umpteenth time. And today, it seemed as though everyone in the house had finally had enough of the screams and shouts.

Around a month or so later, the Ashengrotto family were in court, for a divorce trial. It was a somewhat long process, but the judge's words hit the two children like a truck.

"Mrs. Ashengrotto is to be given custody over Azul Ashengrotto. Whilst Mr. Ashengrotto is to be given custody over [Name] Ashengrotto."

When the Ashengrotto family split up, Azul and [Name] were desperately trying to stay together. It went to the point that their parents had to pull the crying siblings apart because [Name] and their father had to leave.

"Big brother!!! NO!!"

"[Name]!!! Don't leave me please!!"

---

"DON'T LEAVE ME!!"

Azul wakes up with a start, sitting up from the bed with wide eyes and heavy breathing. His hair was frazzled in a bedhead, and he quickly looks around.

The Octavinelle Dorm Leader recognizes his dorm room, and breathes a sigh. Not one of relief, but one of exhaustion. Azul reaches to his bedside table and takes his glasses, putting them on as he checks the clock. 5 am.

Next to the clock, Azul sees the small picture he placed. A family picture of him, his mother, his father, and his younger sibling. It was taken before his parents had divorced. When they were all happy...

Azul stares at his younger sibling in the picture, yearning to see them again. He reaches out a bit, but stops himself and shakes his head. 'Now is not the time', he thinks to himself. He shakily stands up and starts getting ready for the welcoming ceremony of the new first years of NRC.

Azul leaves the room and passes by Jade and Floyd's shared room. The house-warden could hear Floyd's complaining through the door and he sighs, knocking on the door and speaking.

"Floyd, would you stop complaining? Jade and I have to get ready for the Welcoming Ceremony, and you and the others have to start preparing for the welcome party for our new first years."

Almost immediately, Floyd replies with a slight whiney tone. "Says the person who wasn't wrung out like a rag for some lotion! I can barely walk!!" Azul could almost hear the pout in Floyd's voice and sighs in exasperation, listening to Jade trying to calm his brother down.

Deciding to leave the twin eels alone, Azul starts to walk away and head to the Lounge to make sure the preparations are going smoothly. As he walked, his mind can't help but wander to thoughts like if he and his own younger sibling would have a similar dynamic to Jade and Floyd. Hm, or would their dynamic be more like Idia's and Ortho's? Likely not, perhaps.

These thoughts weighed in Azul's mind, and he feels himself shaking his head, trying to rid himself of those thoughts. He hasn't seen his younger sibling for a long time; but Azul certainly hopes that [Name] didn't have such a drastic change like he did.

For some reason, Azul couldn't bear the thought of his previously happy-go-lucky and outgoing [Name] to be anything else other than such a happy mer-octopus. It was wishful thinking, but what kind of older brother would he be if he didn't wish only the best for his younger sibling?

---

When the time came for the Welcoming Ceremony to begin, the Housewardens (exceot for Malleus Draconia, who likely didn't receive the invitation, Azul thinks) were all lined in a circle surrounding the mirror, waiting for students to be sorted into their own dorms.

As each student was being sorted to their dorms, Azul takes the time to look at each student that seemed to catch his attention. None seemed very relevant thus far, maybe a few people he could exploit here and there.

"Next student!"

A student dressed in the NRC Ceremonial Robes stepped out of the crowd of the unsorted first-years. Their hood was on and casting a shadow down their face as they walked towards the mirror.

"State thy name." The mirror said when the student stepped up.

Suddenly, the student spoke a name that ran a shiver down Azul's spine. A name that Azul never thought he would hear no matter how much he wished to hear.

"[Name] Ashengrotto."

Jade raised an eyebrow and turned to Azul curiously, and some other students who recognized the last name also snuck some glances to the Octavinelle Dormleader. Azul could vaguely hear Idia's voice through the floating tablet, saying things like, 'Plot twist?!', but he paid no heed to it.

Azul's eyes were wide, and his mouth was lightly agape in surprise. His younger sibling... studying in NRC?!?

Questions ran through Azul's head in that moment. How is his younger sibling doing? Do they still like to play the piano? Or perhaps they still continued collecting those sea shells? Did [Name] still want to be a singer when they grew up? Do they still enjoy chasing their tentacles like a dog liked chasing its tail? Do they still have that same smile they always did; the one that brightened any room they were in and made their eyes glimmer like the stars land-folk liked to gaze at?

The Dark Mirror spoke again, "The shape of they soul is..."

Azul was beside himself with worry and anticipation. What dorm would his younger sibling be sorted into?

'Octavinelle, Octavinelle, Octavinelle', Azul chanted in his head, hoping for the Dark Mirror to sort [Name] in the dorm he was in.

"... Octavinelle!"

It took almost everything in Azul not to let out a sigh of relief, but he was celebrating in his mind. Suddenly remembering that he was the Dorm Leader of Octavinelle, he stepped up and made himself known to his beloved younger sibling.

Azul mustered up an amicable smile (and those who knew him were rather surprised at how genuine Azul's smile looked), and spoke. "Welcome to Octavinelle, right this way please."

[Name], not having realized who the person underneathe the hood was, nodded and walked to the crowd of Octavinelle students, waiting for the Welcoming Ceremony to be over.

---

After a rather tiring Welcoming Ceremony, with an entire fire getting started by a racoon-cat-monster named Grim, all the students (save for that one student who couldn't get sorted to a dorm) were allowed to leave and go back to their respective dorms.

The Octavinelle first-years were granted a delicious meal and celebration, and were all briefed on their duties in the Mostro Lounge. The entire time, Azul kept sneaking glances at [Name], which wasn't really left unnoticed by the twins or by [Name] themself.

Azul eventually mustered up the courage to approach his younger sibling and struck up a conversation.

"[Name], it's very nice to see you..! I'm Azul, remember? Your older brother?" Azul's voice was one of slight anxiety, did [Name] eveb remember him? It has been a while since they last even heard from each other..

[Name] turns to look at Azul and nods a bit, smiling a little. "Ah, right. It's so nice to see you again, Zulie."

Being referred to his favorite childhood nickname made Azul smile softly, but he couldn't shake off the surprise at seeing the change of demeanor in [Name]. Back when they were younger, [Name] was much more outgoing and enthusiastic compared to this [Name], who seemed to want to curl up in a ball when someone else tried making conversation with them.

Not even their smile fully reached their eyes anymore. Just what had happened to his beloved younger sibling in the time he was gone?

Internally hoping that his younger sibling hadn't changed too much, Azul tried to continue the conversation. "Ah, do you.. still play the piano?"

[Name] shook their head and smiled a little sheepishly in reply. "Oh, no I don't anymore. Atleast, not as often as before. I still play it occasionally, but I don't exactly find it as fun now."

"What about collecting sea shells? Surely, you still find that enjoyable?"

"Dad and I lived in a more colder part of the ocean, and there weren't a lot of sea shells to collect. So, no, not really."

"Ahh, I see... what do you like doing nowadays, then, [Name]?"

"Oh, well..." [Name] then proceeds to tell their older brother of their interests; though most (if not all) the things the younger Ashengrotto listed were things Azul weren't very interested in.

Regardless, Azul nods in understanding, trying not to mind how much his sibling had changed.

The next few weeks after that, Azul had found it hard to approach [Name]. Why? Well, maybe it was because of the fact that his younger sibling had grown rather attached to the Ramshackle prefect and a certain trouble-making trio (Ace, Deuce, and Grim).

Azul had enough of it, seeing his younger sibling get roped into trouble from their group of friends. When [Name] had came back to the dorm with the Heartslabyul's dorm leader's collar on them, Azul had to pull his younger sibling aside to talk.

"[Name], may I ask exactly why you have Riddle's collar on you? What did your friends bring you into this time?" Azul asked [Name] as they spoke in Azul's office. Azul was looking at his beloved younger sibling with furrowed brows and a scrutinizing expression.

[Name] replied, "It's a.. long story, big brother. Yuu, Ace, Deuce, Grim, and I were at Heartslabyul's Unbirthday Party. Dorm Leader Rosehearts got mad at us and collared us and kicked us out of the party because a rule was broken.."

Azul sighs in disappointment and exasperation. He can't believe his younger sibling associated themself with such troublemakers.

"[Name], honestly, why do you even hang out with such people?! They're getting you into trouble!"

[Name] tries to defend themself, "They don't mean to! And I can't just stand by and watch as my friends suffer on their own!"

Azul starts to get a little frustrated. Can't they see, those group of 'friends' as [Name] calls them are terrible influences. It's only a matter of time before they start using [Name] for their own benefit, Azul is sure about that. After all, [Name] has always been rather straightforward in the way that they won't hesitate to help (such values were strange to see in a school like Night Raven College). And Azul knew what happened to people like that; they get exploited, wrung out like a rag, draining them out until there's nothing left to give.

If [Name]'s friends were anything like the other students of NRC (like how Azul would treat his 'clients'), it would be so, so much worse for [Name]. Oh, Azul could practically see it now; it'll start small, like helping out with homework or lending some money. Eventually, it'll be like his younger sibling got the life and kindness sucked out of them, leaving them burnt out like a poor, unfortunate soul!

And Azul can't and won't let his beloved younger sibling go through that. He won't let [Name] fall from grace so terribly like the people who've broken their end of the deal with him.

And that is what Azul tells [Name] (leaving out the parts that paint Azul as the scheming businessman he is, of course) in an effort and attempt to dissuade his sibling from staying friends with their troublemaking friends.

"Don't you see, my dear sibling? They're only using you and their troublemaking schemes would run your student record through the mud. They're getting you involved in so much drama and troubles, and as your older brother, I'd hate for you to be surrounded by such terrible influences," Azul says.

[Name] frowns a bit. Azul worded it as though they hadn't done anything wrong, which wasn't all that far from the truth, though. However, [Name] also knew that Azul was thinking that they were being dragged against their will to help out, which they weren't.

"Big brother... I'm helping out willingly, because I want to. Besides, they're my friends. Didn't the Sea Witch always help other people? We're Octavinelle students, we must always follow the Sea Witch's values."

[Name] replies. The facts about Octavinelle and the Sea Witch were things that the younger Ashengrotto used to try convincing Azul to let them go.

Azul clicks his tongue, his eyes narrowing as he pushes up his glasses that were starting to fall a bit. "Then perhaps you should try getting better, more behaved friends instead of the ones you have right now. What happened to the well-behaved [Name] I used to know?" Azul mutters under his breath, but [Name] could still hear Azul's words.

[Name] frowns at the last question. "What 'happened' is that life happened, Azul. Not everyone stays the same! I've changed!!"

Azul, however, has difficulty getting behind the thought, shaking his head in denial, "Then change back!! [Name], I want the old you! The one who'd listen and trust me without a second thought! The one who was dependent on me! The one who actually made me feel special!!"

That was the last straw for [Name]. They have grown tired of their older brother trying to keep them the same as they used to when they were a child. Can't Azul just let go of the past? "Well that [Name] is gone!! I'm independent now, Azul! I'm not a child! Stop treating me like one!"

[Name] shouts in a burst of anger, before their eyes widen, not having expected themself to actually blow up like that. Not necessarily regretting it, though, the young Ashengrotto quickly turns away and leaves Azul's office, ignoring their older brother's shouts for them to come back.

---

Azul breathes heavily as he falls to his knees, watching as his younger sibling walks away from him, closing the door behind them. The sight can't help but remind Azul of the time when he and [Name] were separated; just this time, [Name] was being pulled away by their 'friends' instead of their father.

Azul can't believe this!! Did [Name] really just walk away from him?! After everything Azul did in hopes of having his dearest sibling back?! How dare they!

How dare they change! How dare they change so much to the point Azul barely recognizes them! How dare they move on from the past so quickly, as if it didn't bother them! And how dare they even think of choosing their friends over him!

How dare they make him cry! How dare they say words that hurt far more than when those pesky merfolk would bully him!! How dare they leave him there, with tears falling down his eyes and with a heart aching for family!

How dare they, how dare they, how dare they!!

Azul takes a deep breath of resolution, his eyes narrowing behind the glint of his glasses. Never mind, then. He'll show them, he just knows it.

Azul calls the Leech twins over to the office, preparing to make a plan for the upcoming exam season, a list of specific names he wants them to target.

He'll show [Name]. He'll show them that he's right. That big brother knows best.

[kurishiri]

Jude chapter 2 silly but kinda detailed summary

꒰ ִ ֺ ⊹ @ notice ⊹ ֺ ִ ꒱ any pretty translation you may see in here may not be 100% accurate or contain creative liberties due to characterization or narrative flow purposes. this is a sort of summary as well. if you enjoy, though, please consider reblogging, but please don’t repost these or claim these as your own!

for some ungodly reason jude and ellis r in kates room the moment she woke up and judes not lookin very appy hes like how long r ya gon sleep for ya bloody pleb and ellis is like haaii gm kate 🌸✨✨ and then jude like “get ready in 3 seconds” while holdin her chin. again, for some reason lmao

ok turns out we goin to their other jobs at a company called raven co

and ellis tells kate they got shops overseas too (wow jude got a boomin business) and they sell stuff in a lotta places and allat jazz. anw some dude greets kate and the others and thinks that kate is ellis gf. kates like umm no and hes like so ur the boss’ gf?

then he gets judes boot before kate can reply and judes like

Jude: It’s all yappin’ with ya so early in the mornin’, I see.

J: If ya gonna yap useless things, how ‘bout ya use that mouth o’ yours to do a bit more o’ your job?

J: If ya want a pay cut though, that’s a separate matter.

turns out the dudes name is theodore walker. 21 y/o. employee. first impression: bright dude

so kate asks ellis what his role is and hes like “hmm lets see, being a guard, preparing for guests, confirming clients, brewing up a storm…” and kate here thinkin wait a damn minute i have a feeling i heard smth real violent just now and then is like do you do anything else and well ellis responds with more violent words with a 😊 face. kate is like i thought i got myself into an evil org then jude comes in like

Jude: Well this evil company’s boss got some work cut out for ya.

she gotta sort out these letters (a loott of letters…) and judes like “if ya worked as a letter carrier ya mustve had to sort out letters before gettin breakfast”

ok so apparently judes kate just blurts out things w/o thinkin 💀 bc this time shes like well if hes gonna make fun of me (jude calls her princess but /neg) then challenge accepted! and then is like “ok bet i will get this done ez pz 🍋 squeezy” and judes got that shit eatin grin on his face like “that ya will do by the time i get back”

they r indeed still in their enemies era. her only saving grace now is ellis’ kind smile. ellis to the rescue! ⛓️🫶✨

omg ellis is actually an angel here he helps kate when he can sorting out letters and hes like gj today kate. you managed to do sm on ur own, u should be proud of urself and kate is like hes so kind… (yes he is!)

ah yes we cant escape the ellis is sweet as jam™️ allegations here

kate asks ellis why he joined crown and tldr its bc vic reached out to jude and jude said ok

Kate: But did you have to get caught up in all this too…?

Ellis: But——he made a promise with me.

As he said this, Ellis’ eyes narrowed softly.

Kate: …A promise?

Ellis: I’m waiting for Jude to reach the happiest moment of his life.

E: And I need to be by his side to see that moment.

[ insert some lines im too lazy to tl here ]

Ellis: But, it seems that moment just doesn’t want to come. …It’s like Jude is always unhappy.

jude comes in the door like yall so damn annoyin and is like stop yappin bout she don’t need to know. but ellis is like but its her job as fairytale keeper. and kate is like “i have a question for u too jude! why do u have ellis by ur side?” jude responds like “none ya damn business” but one tinie push from ellis and jude lets out a resigned sigh and speaks on it and is like hes got physical strength and a good ability. cant let that sorta value slip by. that said his heads got some screws loose so

and kate is like omg! he answered me!!

(So Jude has Ellis by his side so he can use his abilities at his convenience,)

(and Ellis wants Jude to fulfill his wish, I guess?)

They kept one another by each other’s side to help realize what the other wants.

——If I were to put into words what their relationship would be, it would be ‘a contractual relationship.’

That was the day I had gotten my hands on valuable information on Jude for the first time.

ko-fi☕️ ┊ comms🤍

NOTE: i forgot to mention that i can take comms to tl judes main story chapters, avatar mission stories, and his side stories in full, as ciele, the one whos gonna tl his story, said that i could tl chapters from his story too. the turnaround time per chapter is usually around 1–2 days from the time i start it. (for jude it might be closer to 2 days.)

[johnwickb1tsch]

bittersweet ~ a yandere!John Wick x fem!reader sunshine/grump coffee shop AU... Part 16 all chapters

~AUTHOR'S WARNINGS: N$FW, SEXUAL CONTENT, COPIOUS SWEARING, TOXIC POSESSIVENESS , IF SOMEONE TREATS YOU LIKE THIS IN REAL LIFE RUN RUN RUN BC IT WILL NOT TURN OUT WELL U CANT FIX THEM~

-Aware that John Wick knows this city much better than you, you stick to the crowds. You manage to find your way to the Peggy Guggenheim collection, and you hang out there for hours, looking through the art works, but really only half seeing what is in front of you.

You are devastated.

You’ve had controlling boyfriends before, and it was not fun. They seem exciting at first, until the person you were before is eaten alive by their tantrums and their ridiculous expectations as they try to fit you into a box of their own making.

You can’t believe John turned out that way.

Or maybe you can. Maybe you have a fucking type, and you should have seen this coming.

You stay almost until closing, then grab a bite to eat before daring to wander the streets. You find a little walled in park, a courtyard filled with lush greenery and a tinkling fountain. By some miracle, there is only one other couple on a bench at the far end. You practically have the place to yourself, and you sit down on a wrought iron bench with a sigh and eat your sandwich.

You pull out your sketchbook afterwards to pass the time. Your doodling hand wanders, and perhaps its no surprise when you draw John Wick from memory, his proud lips and haunted eyes. There are tears running down your cheeks as you do so. When it gets too much, even though you’re in public, you hang your head and weep into your hands.

Darkness falls, and you know you should be getting back. The bench has long ceased to be comfortable, and yet it’s like you have grown into it, unable to move.

Even with your head down, when someone sits silently down beside you, you just know it’s John.

You do not look at him, and thankfully he does not try to touch you.

“It’s getting late, y/n. You shouldn’t be out here alone.”

“That’s none of your business.”

“Yes it is,” he insists, sounding almost tired about it. You hate it that your demeanor softens towards him, just a little.

“You broke my heart, Mr. Wick.”

“I was afraid I might.” He is sitting with his elbows on his knees, his hands clasped in front of him. “Would you let me make it up to you?” 

“I'm not sure that's a good idea.” 

“No?”

“No. I think you have a mean streak.” 

He had tried to warn you, you realize, in his way.

God, are you really such a fool?

“Doesn't everyone?” 

You make a sound between your teeth, and he nods like you have said something profound. 

“I'm not a nice man, y/n. But I would be good to you.”

“Like last night? I didn't like that.”

The corner of his mouth curves in a wicked smirk, and your heart skips a beat in your chest, damn him. Was the contrition all an act?

“Yes you did.”

“Not the last part.”

“Hmm. I tried to warn you.”

In the vaguest terms possible, maybe.

“My fanny.”

He raises an eyebrow to that, and you’re not sure why that little gesture wounds you like a knife to the heart all over again. Perhaps because he is beautiful, and even though you know he’s dangerous for you, you still want him so very much.  

You start to cry again, and try to get up from the bench. You need to get away from him, because you can’t think straight when he’s near.

“Y/n, wait.” He catches your wrist, and when you don’t really fight him, he pulls you down into his lap, and goddammit if this isn’t what you’d wanted all along. You feel small in his arms, cradled against his long torso and sheltered in the bend of his neck, even if in your hindbrain you know you are not actually safe at all. He strokes your hair until you quiet, and he kisses your temple like you are something precious.

How can this man be so sweet, just to turn on you?

“Why did you leave me, like that?”

You just do not understand. You could have had a lovely, fulfilling, mind-blowing if not vanilla night together. He’d laid all the groundwork like a master orchestrator, and you would have let him fuck you senseless. Fuck, you wouldn’t have even minded the tying up part, if he just hadn’t humiliated you.

“Because…” His lips ghost along the line of your jaw, and you fight not to squirm as his large hand slides up your thigh, his fingertips feather light on your skin. “Only good girls get to cum,” he says low in your ear, and you hate how it makes you ache between your legs, to hear him talk to you that way.

Outwardly, you do your best to keep your cool.

“And touching your hair made me a bad girl?”

“No.”

“Disobeying you did.”

“Yes.”

“That’s kinda fucked up.”

“Maybe.” He actually seems a little amused by you, which is not the reaction you were expecting. “I like to be in control. But you make me feel...unbalanced.”

“Me?” You sound incredulous. The thought that you could affect this powerful man in such a way seems absurd.

“Yes, you, kitten.”

The urge to demand he not call you that desiccates on your tongue. 

“So...what? You feel the need to take revenge for that?” 

“Maybe. I thought you knew the game we were playing, when you batted those big eyes up at me. Mr Wick, Sir, aren’t I a good girl?” His fingers dig into your thigh with the memory, and you can feel his growing erection beneath you. “But you’re just an innocent, aren’t you?”

“I wouldn’t say that.”

“You’re used to boys just eating out of the palm of your hand. But I am a man, with a man’s appetites, and a man’s desires.”

He was a little more than that, you reckoned.

“You want to control me.”

“That’s part of it.”

“Why?”

He smirks. “Maybe I had a rough childhood.”

You can’t tell if he’s joking or not.

“I want to take care of you.” He kisses your cheek again, and it is gentle and sweet and everything you had wanted from Mr. Wick, before this all went sideways. “I want you to be mine.”

You are not proud of the way those words unleash a fluttering swarm of butterflies in your belly, your breath quickening in your chest. You are proud when you manage to answer, “I don’t need taking care of.”

He just snorts lightly at that, as if it’s not even worth arguing over. “Come back to the hotel room with me. I promise I’ll finish what I started. With interest.” His hand slowly slides up your thigh, just beneath the skirt of your sundress, and you think you might die. You should not want this man, after what he did to you.

The ache between your legs suggests otherwise.

You give yourself some points, when you shake your head.

“No. I’m going back to my hostel.”

The shift in his demeanor gives you whiplash, a thunderhead of a frown pulling his handsome features. “Need to get back to your little friend Javi?” The jealousy in his tone hot as a brand. “Did he try to kiss you again?”

Your heart drops to your feet.

“How did you know he tried to kiss me?” you ask, your voice so small.

That was in Rome, after all.

What should have been obvious before comes crashing in, and you realize what a little fool you’ve been. That feeling that someone’s been watching you, and John’s so convenient and coincidental appearance outside the alley…

“Holy shit. You’ve been following me.”

“I’ve been protecting you.”

“Excuse me?”

“You have no idea what the world is really like, sweetheart. It’s a dangerous place.”

You frown at this.

“So…you think I’m stupid?”

“No, of course not.”

“You think I can’t take care of myself then.”

“I think I found you wandering around here like a lost little lamb. There are monsters here who would have gobbled a sweet little treat like you up in one bite.”

The fact that he sees you that way is more alarming than the thought of some unnamed threat in the shadows.

For some reason it makes you think of the men in the van back home—and how that van was found empty and on fire.

“How do you know about the monsters, John?”

“I just know.”

“You said you weren’t a cop. Were you FBI?”

He glares at you, which you take as a no.

“Interpol?”

You are met with silence, and you nod, mostly to yourself.

“You know about the monsters because you are one.” You think about those fierce looking Italian men with their scars and their bespoke suits. His previous words echo in your memory. Sono retirato.

“Were you in the mob?”

“Not…specifically.”

Then you remember he’d said he was from Belarus.

“Bratva, then.”

You should be terrified as you work all this out, trapped in the circle of this man’s arms, but you feel strangely numb about it all.

“My clever girl.” He sounds almost sad about it.

“Not clever enough,” you sigh.

You are not sure who is more surprised, you or him, when you burst to your feet. You actually manage to slip out of his grasp, though you only make it three steps before he captures your wrist again with a grip like an iron manacle. He gives you a dark look, annoyed that you would even try to play this game with him.

You remember what you learned in martial arts class a lifetime ago, pointing your thumb down towards the weak point of his grip and trying to jerk free. It’s worked before, with grabby men.

Not with John Wick, though.

“Stop.” Again, there’s that steely tone. The alpha voice one uses to reprimand a naughty dog. It only makes you angrier, and you struggle.

He pulls you hard against him, and you bite his hand. He doesn’t let you go, just adjusts his grip. “I didn’t want to do it this way,” he snarls low in your ear. “But you are so fucking stubborn.”

“Thank you.” You try to headbutt him behind you, but he ducks into the bend of your shoulder. You feel his chest trembling against your back, and only belatedly do you realize he is laughing at you.

“Enjoying this?”

“A little.”

“There’s no fucking way you can get me out of here without someone seeing. Let me go.”

He just sighs into your hair, like you’ve said something extremely naïve.

The arrival of newcomers into the park catches both of your attention. You lift your head, ready to ask for help, when you recognize the besuited tough guys from before.

Well, fuck.

“You've got some balls, showing your face around here, John Wick. Gianna d’Antonio’s son sends his greetings.”

“This isn’t a good time,” he snarls in return.

“Sorry, are you too busy fighting with your little girlfriend?”

He actually releases you then, pushing you to stand behind him. They are blocking the exit, so for now, you comply.

“You know how this will go,” John says, assuming a ready stance, his feet spread. He almost sounds regretful about it. “Do yourselves a favor, and leave.”

“Can’t do it, John,” says the one in the lead.

“For fuck’s sake,” curses John under his breath. The lead Italian makes a move, and John bursts into action. He is like a tornado of carnage upon them, throwing punches and breaking arms, cutting tendons and stabbing throats.

You are absolutely frozen as you watch all this unfold before you.

That is, until one of the thugs throws a knife at John, and you watch it bury in his chest. This is the thing that breaks your spell, and you run towards the fray with a scream, though who the fuck knows what you intend to do.

However, like he wasn’t just stabbed in the heart, John takes another attacker’s gun, pistol whipping him with it before shooting the knife thrower, then the last one standing. It cannot have been more than minute, before all of them are dead at his feet. He leans on his bent knees for a moment, catching his breath.

“John?” You hardly recognize your own voice as you rush to him, certain he’s taken a lethal blow and somehow fought through it with the surge of adrenaline. However, when you peel back his suit jacket you find no blood. He lets you look him over with frantic hands, maybe enjoying the fact that you don’t wish him dead, before pulling the still protruding knife from the breast of his jacket.

When he produces the little leather journal you’d gifted him from his inside pocket, now gravely marred with a puncture through the cover, you understand.

“Holy fuck.”

“You saved my life,” he says with an odd little smile down at you, as though all this is normal and what you just saw is totally ok.

Utterly horrified, you run.

“Y/n, wait!”

You throw yourself into the dark winding streets, taking any turn you can, trying to stay out of sight. Your feet fly beneath you; even in your shitty strappy sandals, it’s the fastest you’ve ever run.

It’s not fast enough.

When strong arms close around you, lifting you from the ground, you try to scream. A big hand clamps over your mouth, and you find yourself pressed hard into a stone wall. “Please, calm down,” he pants in your ear, out of breath from killing four people then running you down.

Your answer of, “Are you fucking kidding me?” is nothing but muffled syllables.  

“Goddammit,” he sighs behind you, rifling in his pocket for something as he pins you with his body. “This is not how I wanted this to go.”

Your pitiful plea of “Let me go,” is cut off by an evil-smelling cloth shoved into your nose.

[chanrizard]

I'm kinda grateful for div1 because they're a good scapegoat whenever one is needed. They protect the artists in a sense because like, if Jisung actually wasn't comfortable showing his tattoos, he can say it's div1 and then fan feelings won't be hurt! Other examples, dating ban, everyone knows idols do secretly date and such, and officially people say "the dating ban is gross! It's to sell creepy fans the idea of their idol being available!" But also the dating ban is a protective shield because if creepy fans come up to idols they can say sorry I don't date I'm not allowed. While secretly they do date but officially no. Other example, jyp artists can say "sorry we're not allowed to say anything political" and it's bc div1 is censoring them and then they don't get hate from either side, because normally people would say "silence is taking the side of the oppressors!" Etc but they can't bc it's not the artists it's div1. And the artists don't choose who to collab with, it's management! Stuff like this means idols don't get hated on for random stuff which I support. I think asking Hanji to show his body in the first place is invasive, puts him in an awkward spot and it's good that he has div1 to fall back on. It could also be that they're really the ones stopping him but in the case that it wasn't I'm grateful things were resolved this way

see but the thing is, he's not uncomfortable showing off his tattoos, he's not uncomfortable talking about them, he's never been uncomfortable showing his body either before when it's something he's worked hard on and he's proud of.

he said on a live their staff didn't want him to tell us he'd gotten tattooed, he told us he is not allowed to show them, he did it anyway and it was just a glimpse mind you, and the first thing he said after the fanmeeting was that he was promptly scolded for it.

why can't people take what he says -what all the members say really- at face value, what on earth could he possibly gain from lying about this, when all the kids have always been pretty straightforward all things considered and the profession they're in about what they can and cannot do, and when saying or doing something out of line gets them scolded, and when they know damn well how vicious their fans can be.

I believe changbin when he says the staff wasn't happy with him bulking up and eating healthy and told him to cut it out and he said fuck this. I believe seungmin and changbin when they say the staff doesn't want them to mention they drink sometimes, when other idols in their same company have never had this problem (see: nmixx's members getting drunk and no one batting an eye. so what's different? same company different management)

and about the political thing, again lily lives anyone?

Also what does the dating ban have to do with this they haven't mentioned that in years if ever?

As for the collabs i honestly think it's 50/50, i was talking about this with tay this morning and it's actually plausibile they got into That project with the best intentions and were super hyped and then they realized a couple of things, reevaluated some others, and decided that maybe it was a mistake. They've never mentioned that song again outside of the mandatory promo period and it was always in a very luckluster way.

And tbf nobody asked han to show his body, he brought it up on his own.

But the point of this whole thing, and i think we're missing it here, is it's his (their) choice to do so that's being taken away and for what.

They're being restricted on what they eat to the point they're starving for a photoshoot for fuck's sake, they've been telling lino he has to lose some weight when he's never given a damn before and was so happy to share his love for pudding on bubble and now it's a miseryfest of "ah i'm turning into a piggy" and dieting stuff from the last messages i saw. same with felix, i love him but i cannot tell you enough how uncomfortable it makes me when he starts talking about what he (didn't) eat in a day.

i'm sure there's some good people in div1 and they care for them, or the members wouldn't have defended them in the past, and there's people they're closer with like their personal managers, but i'm also sure lately they haven't been as happy with the staff as a whole as before

so no, i'm not all that grateful to the people managing them right now

[vsaintsin]

Writeblr Re-Intro

Yo! I'm V Saintsin. Or V or Vin or Saintsin or whatever you want to call me that sounds right on your tongue. I'm a self-proclaimed Social Media fumbler who got a late start to the party and has never quite figured it out. I hate how hipster and edgy it sounds to say "I'm bad at social media" but like I used to work with some people who actually managed the social media accounts for the business we worked for and there were rules and whatnot and damn, I think online media is just not my medium. That being said, here I am! Hah

I'm an author and general mess who's hoping to be the miracle man (somebody who makes a living writing silly little stories). I do use a pseudonym but please hear me out when I say I didn't realize how edgy it sounds, it just has some sentimental value to my personal life. I'm so sorry that I sound like I'm in my emo phase HAHA

About me -

He/Him Transguy from the American Midwest (arguably the south, depending on who you talk to, but the older people still say "Sodi-pop" and "ope").

I'm dysautonomic, bendy, permanently sleepy, and a survivor of Crappy Doctors Who Suck At Doctoring.

I like DnD, Pathfinder, Baldur's Gate 3, Cyberpunk, Dragon Age, and other things in that vein.

I do make art of my stories and characters (Tablet is currently not working so I'm in a dry spell).

My writing background is predominantly ancient, dusty RPs from as far back as the foopets days and fanfic writing on Quizilla - I am an old and wizened elder of the net.

My formal education was music performance and behavioral neuroscience, I don't really know how I got where I am.

This is not my first rodeo with tumblr but it is the first time I have anything to SAY instead of just lurking.

In the event of malfunction, you can put me outside for 5 minutes and I'll probably factory reset.

My existence as I know it hinges on a massive number of sticky notes plastered throughout my room.

What I'm lookin' for -

Idk, whatever? I'm down for most things. Did you write it? Cool, let me see. I'm not too bent on genre or anything, just fascinated by the art of storytelling.

A bit tentative with fanfiction but that's just because if it's not a fandom I'm familiar with I am rather clueless about what the hell is going on and if it's a fandom I am familiar with I HUNT DOWN THE DEEP LORE.

I like art a whole lot, including fanart. Also art advice, love seeing things from different perspectives and learning something new.

Mutuals, really, for any reason. Building better connections on here, getting to know people. I am hideously bad at this but I try.

What I write -

Science Fiction with heavy subjects that matter to me - trigger warnings on a story-by-story basis.

High Fantasy (eventually books I think?) characters and their backgrounds for DnD and Pathfinder - I have been tempted to share these to help people get ideas or just for free use?

Things that I delete because I have crippling imposter syndrome and publishing makes me nauseous (doin' it tho).

Stories that I hope will make people feel less alone or that people could relate to, stories that I wish I had when life was worse and I was reaching out for anything I could find to keep me afloat, stories that try to be critical of things that SUCK in a way that's any helpful.

Lots of curse words and cussing (that's just how people talk 'round here), dubious science, things that I hope might make you cry but in a good way though.

Character-Driven stories that revolve more around the development of the person and less around the plot itself if that makes sense.

I've put blurb things below for my primary project/series which features a grumpy, queer, 37-year old chain smoking Frenchman and his misadventures with life and love and unbridled rage. If any of that sounds cool stick around and hang out? (This part is a plug bc I did a thing and I'm proud of it) And if my books sounds interesting the first one is 99 cents on Kindle and you just need a phone and a free app to read it!

THE SECRET OF LIFE (Published) - Sci-Fi/Psychological Thriller, Bi M Lead, Lovers to Enemies, AI but the oldschool cool kind not the real world thing that's stealing our future

Carlisle-Trystan Antoinette is a mercenary on a hard road, navigating life and death itself in an infinite cycle started by powers above his understanding. He has one mission - warn The Dianican Space Station of the coming threat and put a stop to a war that would encapsulate the whole of the Sol System before it can ever begin. Unfortunately for Carlisle, reality is a tenuous thing, made up only by our understanding of it. At least, according to his Psychiatrist, who tells him that there is no war, that he was never a mercenary, and that what Carlisle is experiencing is a severe but manageable psychotic break. Stripped of his combat enhancements, his bio monitor, and everything he's every known, Carlisle has a decision to make. Does he give in to the thoughts and memories, so real that he can almost taste them, or does he live a life of comfort and ease, returning to a husband and daughter that he left behind?

TWs: Domestic and War Violence, suicide, rape, medical trauma, grief, drug use

THE SILENCE OF ANGELS (Due 2024, TSoL 2) - Betrayal and Rage, Learning how to love again slow-burn romantic subplot, Learning how to Dad, A general inability for any one thing to just go right

(Quick Rough Blurb that offers no spoilers for TSoL) Making connections isn't easy for somebody who's accustomed to burning bridges. Isolation has always been Carlisle's mantra for surviving his life. Playing a role comes second nature, pretending to be the man that everyone else wants to see in him. When an old friend is murdered Carlisle finds himself as the primary suspect with all evidence pointing to him so clearly that even he calls to question what he is capable of. Unwilling to believe that he could commit such a heinous crime, Carlisle sets off to find the truth of his friend's death - was Carlisle framed or does he truly have the capacity to bring such harm upon those he loves? Old and new bonds will be tested, faith broken, and the future of everyone called into question as lines are drawn and sides are picked.

TWs: Violence, mentions of SA, graphic character death, more grief, more death

I don't know what else to say... Later!

[yooniesim]

ok unfortunately for yall the dash made me have a thought so now I gotta ramble lol

but ya know. maybe it's bc I've had so much time away from here and all the bitching (/affectionate) but over the past couple years, I get less angry about this shit and more solution-minded. and I don't mean for the community as a whole (that's impossible lol) but in a sort of... personal circle/responsibility type of way. like what we can do among ourselves without the confrontation aspect bc, just being honest- from my perspective & experience, the anger and the bitching doesn't really accomplish shit. not to say it ain't justified, & it's important to raise awareness for sure, but i swear me & a lot of others that have been talking about this for a long time have just been barking in circles without anything budging one way or another. which leads to burnout/emotional exhaustion not just for the ppl in question but for followers/mutuals/friends. I spent far too long and waaaay too much mental energy thinking that being the loudest and the boldest would get something to change. but the scammers keep scamming and the shit just keeps going. and sure it's fun as hell to shoot the shit and pick and bitch and laugh with your mutuals. baby yall know I love a good simblr circlejerk. but ya know, when you sit down and think about it it's a lil depressing. and the ppl you're talking to/around are already Aware and eventually the anger wears off and they're just tired of hearing about it. you're preaching to the choir and everyone is just pissed and tired with no clear goal to work towards.

Part of that exhaustion is why i made @alwaysfreecc as a positive way to boost always free creators, without focusing on the paywallers. as well as always supporting alternate ways of getting paywalled cc. but I think it takes a lil more than just that. I think, like the post I just reblogged was saying, people need to learn how to make their own content too. I know there's a learning curve, but so many things paywallers make are outright easy to do yourself. Some aren't- there are paywall creators that put great effort into their content and make it worth your money- but a lot of them are. And that isn't to say you should make everything yourself, there's nothing wrong with supporting creators that make content you find interesting or wouldn't want to do yourself, but it can be really rewarding to learn how to make simple edits and recolors on your own. And, image editing and 3d modeling skills can also benefit you elsewhere in life! Whether professionally or when modding other games. Knowing how to make cc in sims helped me figure out how to make certain things for skyrim and fallout, for example. Hell, it's just plain FUN to figure out and do, and I think the community could always use more of that.

Also, sometimes it's freeing to just, stop using certain creators' content. Like, i used to be bitching yet downloading stuff off dhm and shit, out of spite mostly cos half the stuff I didn't even like. But since I cleared out a lot of paywallers' stuff, besides a few I think are worth it/doing things honestly, it just feels better. I don't even think about those mfs anymore until I see something about them on my dash and then I can barely remember who they are lol. You don't realize how much you really don't NEED any of that shit & how you were kinda just downloading it to be downloading it, until you toss it. AND it feels great to have mostly always free creators' content & support them. Liiike i feel proud of ppl i saw get started and are STILL FREE and making awesome stuff, it's exciting! even when I'm not playing the game, I see their posts and be like "dang I need to grab that when I update" or "man they've gotten so much better in so little time" or "wow I never thought of that idea/seen that before". Bc always free peeps get to be so damn creative bc they don't have deadlines or turning off their paying audience to worry about. Like it's so cool and positive and I love that.

idk, just. based on what I've experienced here, i feel like it's kinda time to focus less on what the assholes are doing now (aka the same exact thing they've been doing for years) and more on what to do to make our own personal experiences better. which I know a lot of us are doing! I just wish I personally had done it earlier lol so maybe someone else needs to hear that too. like toss these dummies to the curb and replace them is what I'm sayin. If not in the whole community but just your personal circle. raise awareness as needed sure but don't let em take any more of your energy. cos if you are petty like me (😂) it'll hurt em way more to cast em out than yell at em. all the ppl that have bitched at me yet still have my cc in their folders come to mind lmfao, cos personally that gives me more satisfaction than anything else so I know it's probably the same for the scammers! Like a "you hate me but you can't bear to not use my shit huh 😏" type of deal. Don't give em that sick pleasure! (/projecting) Just focus on you and yours and make some sick ass content for yourself, then share it to me thx 💅

[petitprincess1]

Do you feel like Jaz was rewriting in ep 2

I'm assuming you meant Jax from TADC, but no. This is the same exact shit that happened with Stella from Helluva and even Alastor from Hazbin. Ppl seen to get really shocked when assholes turn out to be assholes. The whole thing is stupid.

"Alastor was so silly in the Pilot!" Damn, I didn't know that being a silly goose absolved you from murder x3c The dude is a serial killer and radio personnel. Obviously, he is going to be incredibly charismatic, but don't forget that he is in Hell for a reason. Besides, Al still has silly moments in the show, but he never hid his true intentions. He is proud to be piece of shit.

"Stella was a victim of abuse!" You can really tell who has the power in an argument. The first time we see Stella, she's the one going apeshit and throwing things (people) at Stolas. Not only that but she doesn't even care for Via's presence, while Stolas noticed immediately. Hell, she's frowning in the Loo Loo Land portrait. Even Via knows that they argue a lot, considering she asked Stolas "are you two done yelling for today?" The one-time Stolas defends himself is at the end S2 EP1 and it was to catch Stella's hand, which she was shocked by. Her being able to strike him shows that this isn't the first time she has hit him, while knowing that he doesn't defend himself.

"Jax is a psychopath!" Yeah, Goose admitted this a while back, saying that the fandom will be divided when they see his true character. It's not their fault that you thought your headcanon was going to be true. Most shows already have a few episodes written before they launch production. Never forget that a Pilot is a proof of concept and not everything within it will remain canon. Not that that pertains to this, however. Jax was still an asshole in the Pilot. Literally mocking Pomni as she spiraled and constantly harming the characters, nor caring for their feelings.

TL;DR: Ppl need to realize that their headcanons are not actually canon and not to get lobotomies when these jerk characters are first introduced. Just bc you didn't view the character as a terrible person does not mean the writing is bad or retconned. You just stayed in your head a bit too long and now are throwing a tantrum when things didn't go your way.

[doodlegirl1998]

Listen...I detest spinner now thanks to hori's canon. No hate to anyone who likes him and yes you can fix spinner in fics and arts...but to me, I see him as a raving and fanatical fan of shig who ....honestly didn't give a fuck about spinner...it was so oneside.

Spinner hating Izu and calling him murder???

Spinner saying he could have saved shig???

And Izu takes all bc ofc he does ...he is the perfect victim.

This is MHA ...Izu gets nothing but pain and blame. Bk and shoto have fangirls ...Shoto I get it (even if we ignore the whole dabi's situation) but bk?

And Izu is saddle with that superficial bitch ??. (I know people can fix ochako in fics. She is a character...but god canon makes me detest her)

To sum up, spinner is an insane fan who thinks he and shig are besties since day 1 and will write his fanfic about shig meaning he will write his own version of shig...not how the real shig is bc no one knows...and blames Izu for this.

Im tired of this manga.

But it does make me realize how...I can do better. I was feeling a bit insecure about my writing ...it boost my confidence a lil.

Hi @mikeellee , 👋

Not much filled me with anger quite like watching Bakugou get fangirls for existing and being his detestable self - and Izuku getting none.

There's also Spinner venting his rage at Izuku for Shigaraki's death (Izuku, who tried his very best to save Shig). Spinner's rage should be at All For One - not Izuku. So this was pretty rage inducing as well - considering this is in the same chapter Bkg and Todoroki get fangirls, the contrast is jarring. - And a spit in the face for Izuku from Hori once again.

Izuku owes none of the LOV, not even Shig in canon, a damn thing. If Izuku had decided to kill him (which he didn't), he would have been justified because Shig was a country ending threat with decay and AFO who was not gonna back down!

There's also the fact that Spinner is a hypocrite, turning around and calling Shoji a mutant slur when he has apparently been discriminated against himself.

Spinner for the love of God, sit down and shut up.

Also, I suppose that's one good thing to come from the state of MHA's writing now. I'm glad you are feeling proud in your own writing - as you should.

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

HI. GOOD EVENIBG. WE SHOULD TALK ABT TIDALWAVE!!!! we should talk about tidalwave. im thinking about them so hard & also pingponging btwn nebulous Them Thoughts & nhw virion (trying so hard 2 work on this damn fic!!!)...... we r in the centrifuge together. idk what it is abt sunday nights what do they put in them. anyway. holds microphone up. tidalwave..............

👉 go here. go in the centrifuge.

GOD. man. I'm like. i don't even know what to SAY about them. I'm just Thinking About Them u know?!?!?!?! like. they're in my mind. whats betta than this. guys bein dudes.

idfk I guess I will talk about nhw bc that's the context I've been thinking abt them the most in lately. god. not 2 talk abt my own fic forever and ever but smth that I'm rlly proud of/rlly hits me is like... the Moment where mark realizes the extent of what happened to him? like. he looks down at his hand and realizes he basically just stabbed himself with claws he didn't realize he had and his hand is too big and is scales and the reason he hasn't been able to stand is because he has like 10 lbs of extra tail weight and I think that all hits him like a truck and just. takes the fight out of him for a second . and that's the ONLY reason he lets tide sit him back down and bandage his hand. he doesn't Really need that, the cuts are shallow and by the time he sits down they've stopped bleeding anyway but he still sits through it bc it gives them both something solid and physical to focus on that isn't the billion other terrible things going on. I never think of tidalwave as being soft that feels too out of character for either of them but like. this is the closest they get to that. to me. Just like a second of quiet where . they're not talking about things they should be talking about but there's some sort of physicality nonetheless.... man.

also bc i love 2 talk about the unethical human experimentation. I love love love love giving tide the entire range of reactions to overlords shit. he gets to see Marie who seems to have basically lost all of her humanity and behaves more like an animal. to Marlon who is unresponsive and shut off and needs to be in basically a glorified fish bowl to function. to Ollie who is completely there mentally and very willing to cooperate and seems to be dealing with everything okay... but he can't communicate because of freak bug mouth. and i think he absorbs all of this information and internalizes it and when he looks at mark he can't help but wonder where he falls on that range . Mark doesn't seem like he's lashing out like a scared animal backed into a corner (at least. no more than usual) but the physical changes are There and Obvious and sometimes when he gets worked up his voice sounds like an alligator hissing (these videos are extremely good btw) so it's like.... what else changed. tide doesn't even KNOW about his vision yet. (<< authors note here like. I do think marks mannerisms will be different. not in huge ways. but the sensitivity to cold affects him wayyy more than he lets on. makes it harder to do things. which is not great for a guy who needs to be doing things constantly or else he'll explode! which makes him irritated by things more easily. I feel like he will have more of a tendency to snap at things whereas before he'd be content to just fume about them in silence. like when u see a snake call coiled up with its head back and u know it could either strike really fast or it's just trying to threaten you. or how like alligators seem like they should be really slow but then they can death roll and lunge and snap their heads around really fast. sorry i need 2 make that man animalistic or ill die)

canon tidalwave i need 2 know desperately how they got tides powers back. i know the most likely thing is that like. the depowering was just a mental block tide had to get over . but in my heart they went on a roadtrip. bizly please. i know you said tidalwave would never get married but that's okay they dont have to. they're already divorced. give me the road trip.

[rrenzwrld]

april 22, 2022

something i made for a scraped armin ff that i never posted..

i’m sorry about the scraps BUT it’s just until i write something new bc i haven’t posted in a while

i’m sorry again yall😭but enjoy!! <3

[ Y/F/P : your favorite kind of pizza. ]

You had liked Armin Arlert since middle school. But this was before his glowup that sent quite a few girls his way. No matter how many dates he went on or how many girls he’s kissed in that time, you were always in his sights. The only thing holding him back was the courage to let you know how he felt. And because he waited so long, he had to share you with the gaze of other men. Other men who’d brag about your talents in bed or your appearance that particular day. He hated hearing them speak about you as if you were an object and he hated watching you allow that to happen.

Although your feelings for Armin were strong, you kept them to yourself. In your mind, he was far to perfect to be in a relationship with you. You fell in love with his eyes, his smile, his aura until you realized none of those things were for you. They were for the girls who you thought deserved him. The girls who were prettier, skinnier, outgoing, athletic. The girls who weren’t hidden in the shadows by people they were dating or messing with. The girls that someone would be proud of. And you thought that wasn’t you. The guys that you’ve had sexual relationships with never mentioned being in an actual relationship with you, only wanting sex and pleasure from you. But this was routine.

The small nap that you were supposed to be taking lasted longer than you expected and night had fallen before you knew it. You sat up and stretched before rubbing at your eyes and grabbing your phone off the nightstand, which was filled with missed calls and text messages from your friends. You called them all back to let them know you were alright before getting up to get yourself something to eat.

“Damn.. I need to go grocery shopping.” You cursed yourself as you rummaged through your pantry. You looked back at your phone ringing with a facetime call. You answered it and propped up the phone on the counter against a container of sugar close to the wall.

“Girl why the fuck didn’t you answer me? You supposed to be sick.” Reneé said angrily.

“I am. I just took a nap—“

“A nap that lasted 5 hours?” You hadn’t even noticed that you were sleeping for as long as 5 hours, but you felt a bit rejuvenated and better than earlier.

“Yeah.. but I’m fine now. Not dead.” You said as you went through your fridge.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“I’m hungry and I’m just now realizing that I haven’t went to the store. My pantry and shit bout dry as hell.”

“Well we can go to the store after class tomorrow. I need to go too that’s why I’ve been eating out— you want me to pick up a pizza?”

“Where you at?” You picked up the phone and walked into your room, turning on the lights.

“Jean’s… he’s gone now though. Something bout going to get beer or whatever. But who the fuck drinks beer?” You laughed at her comment.

“White folks.”

“You not wrong but… I’m coming over there and I’m bringing someone.”

“Jean?” You straightened up your room a bit, phone in hand as you talked, not really wanting to put it down anywhere.

“No you stupid bitch. Connie and Eren.” Your eyes widened, you didn’t have anything against either of them but you would have preferred if she’d come by herself.

“Why?”

“Because they wanna see how you were doing. They’re coming with Jean when he comes back so I’ll let you know.” You felt your whole mood shift.

“Okay.. well,” You sighed. “I’m gonna go so Jean won’t freak out when he sees you on the phone with somebody other than himself.”

“Girl bye. That nigga don’t own me. But I’ll see you later though. Bye~” Now that people were coming over, you actually had a reason to fix your house a bit, even if it was after 8pm.

“Yeeeerrrrr-“ Connie walked through the front door of your place with two boxes of pizza in his hands while Eren followed behind him with sodas and other things.

“Connie shut the fuck up, you know she got neighbors.”

“Shit, my bad..” Reneé rolled her eyes at him.

“Hey boo~” Reneé pulled you into a bone-crushing hug after you closed the door behind everyone and locking it. “You feeling okay?”

“Yeah, just hungry right now though,” You walked over to where Connie had sat the pizza down on the counter. “What kind you get?”

“Pepperoni and Y/F/P. Probably should’ve got another box because you know how that fat ass over there is..” She was referring to Connie, who had made himself comfortable on your couch.

“I know. But he’ll be alright. Eren!” You called.

“Yeah?” You looked at the bags he was sitting on the counter.

“What’s that? Sodas?”

He nodded. “And liquor—“

“Whoa who the fuck said we was drinking?” You looked at Reneé.

“He said he was buying it ‘just in case’. But you can just keep it here for some other time.” You sent a glare Eren’s way, receiving a wink from him in response.

“Y’all gonna eat or what?”

After everyone had eaten, none of you did much of anything other than being forced to watch movies with Reneé. Only you and Reneé seemed to be paying attention as Eren tapped away on his phone and Connie getting high out of his mind.

“Connie, you ain’t tell nobody you had weed.” Reneé eyed the boy, watching him take another hit of the blunt he held. His eyes were red and lidded as he sat in the black loveseat, knees spread apart in front of him.

“Was I supposed to?”

“Bitch..” Reneé mumbled as Connie softly laughed at her.

“Reneé.” Eren looked up from his phone.

“Yes, Yeager?”

“Lemme use your car.” She looked at him like he was crazy.

“Uh why?”

“I gotta go somewhere real quick. I’ll be right back. Promise.” Reneé rolled her eyes before hovering the keys over the palm of his hand.

“Where you going?” She snatched the keys back.

“Not you clocking him.” You commented.

“Right. Thought yall wasn’t fucking anymore.” Reneé and Eren directed their eyes at Connie.

“It’s my fucking car—“

“Reneé. You gonna give me the keys or not?” Eren’s hand was still held out. You didn’t know where he wanted to go in such a rush but it probably wasn’t your business. You continued to watch the movie.

“I’ll take you wherever you need to go. I don’t gotta hand my shit over to you just cause you ask. Bring ya’ ass.”

“Stop telling me what to do.” Eren mumbled as Reneé let Eren out in front of her.

“Y/n, I’ll be back.” She said as she closed the door behind her, leaving you with Connie.

[fatuismooches]

ITS 💌 ANON!! as per usual i come to you with a headcanon at ungodly hours of the night in my time. i’ve been playing too much honkai star rail…BUT!! fluff and angst combo again 🏃 ure the best :(( pls don’t follow my example and get proper rest !! thanks for always being cool hehe

Dottore making a medicine that actually does work!! you can move around like normal, no longer as tired, and ofcourse- Dottore is thrilled. He’s done it, he kisses them and he takes reader everywhere, every single place he wanted to- he checked everything, they were fine…until suddenly, they fainted and he basically finds out that the medicine could only make everything good for a short amount of time before putting reader in the most excruciating pain possible after, so sadly, zandik curses himself and gets back to work :(( he dosent care about the sacrifices, he dosent care what he has to give and what gets taken away as long as you don’t. He’s a committed man and he’s committed for until after life. Literally will reincarnate with you if he can because he will *not* let go.

TO THE FLUFF THOUGH! zandik taking atleast 1 hour everyday to do something that you like because he realizes that you miss him (and he misses you too). At first he was wary because he wanted to ensure that he could get you cured as soon as possible, but he couldn’t handle it if you were all sad and gloomy either. He didn’t want you to think of yourself as a burden and god forbid, you try to leave again (referring to that one ask where reader leaves bc they feel like a burden,, in feel like he’s be so damn scared…even if he won’t admit it). So reading you a book? sure, just be prepared for many side comments if it’s some cheesy romance novel or him reading a textbook. Drawing? hell, he’ll draw an anatomical heart with you holding it! Cuddling? he’ll wrap you up in his fluffy coat and hug you as much as you want.

- 💌 anon

AWW ILYY 💌 ANON!! Hehe I am trying my best to go to sleep earlier... it's a work in progress. Also i feel you on the HSR brainrot but I'm TBL 57, have no good artifacts since I haven't farmed, and stuck on the deer boss fight 💀 i gotta get on the grind soon 😫🫠 But you better get proper rest too!!! Or else- 💖💖

NOOO THE FLUFF GETS IMMEDIATELY WIPED AWAY TO ANGST- I can't imagine the sheer happiness you two would feel. Reader, of course, would be absolutely elated and very plainly show how delighted they are. You're running, hopping, Dottore even twirls you around and you do a pretty little spin as you fall back into his arms. You're so happy, you haven't smiled or laughed this much in ages. Dottore, as usual, doesn't show nearly as much emotion as you, but don't let that fool you. Internally, he's feeling something he has never felt before, so foreign that normally he'd be trying to get rid of it but this time he knows exactly why he's having this feeling. Thrilled, excited, proud, enthusiastic, words that could not even begin to fully describe this feeling. Centuries of work finally paid off, never to have to be repeated again. To see you so purely happy, makes him look forward to things going back to how they once were. Oh, how much fun you'd have joining him as his assistant again. The whole atmosphere and feelings of the clones in the lab are in sync for once.

Except... it all comes crashing down. Literally. When you collapse in his arms with ragged breaths, skin searing to the touch, actual tears begin to form from how badly it hurts. Immediately the mood from early deflates as he rushes to get you back to normal and ease your suffering </3 To have something he desires right in his hands, just to be snatched away from him with no warning is something he's never experienced before. He is a scholar, possibly one of the most intelligent beings in Teyvat. Such a thing shouldn't have happened to him. But it did, and he has to start over. He probably killed some people to blow off steam. No remorse. Just anger.

Sigh sigh I LOVE THIS SM. Normally, he'd scoff if it was any other activity. Especially when it's boring meetings. A whole hour? For nonsense? He finds it meaningless. His 24 hours are spent doing important things. Important things being research, experiments, notes... and you, of course. You're right, when Dottore has a goal or something he wants to reach, he just throws himself into it. No breaks, nothing, he just wants to make progress, progress, progress. Especially when it's you on the line. He'll refuse any and all contact. But he's come to realize your state deteriorates even more if your needs are not met by him. Not to mention the clones are sending messages to each other internally about how sad you are, which he decides he overhears way too frequently </3 So he knows he has to put a stop into it. (And yes, that ask was sad as hell, I still think about it 😭🥺)

Love how we agree he's a pro at drawing anatomical stuff hehe. You cut out the hearts he draws and put them on your walls or something ;( And also AHHHH THE FLUFFY COAT CUDDLING... No words can describe how much I love that scenario. It's so cute to think about both of you wearing it at the same time... you're on his lap, he's wearing the coat but it's swallowing your whole body up anyway since it's wrapped around, the fluff tickling your face!! <3 The book is in your hand, you both take turns reading it but Dottore interrupts whenever something dumb is said or done. Oh.. but you end up falling asleep since his voice is so relaxing and his chest is so comfy..

Ughhh eternal lovers with Dottore is hitting me right now ;( Especially when you talked about his commitment... hell yes this crazy doctor will not bat an eye at anyone else besides you it doesn't matter how long it's been. For you he has no limits. He always be intrigued and into this person who managed to worm their way into his cruel cold heart...

[rokurookajima]

8. What is your favorite line/section from claw machine?

23. What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet?

30. Have you noticed your style change over time?

for the ask game!!!

thank youuuu as always i am fucking YAPPING so let me just.. read more lmao 👼🏻

AAAA. what a question.. thank you for this one LMAO tho this is a hard choice to make..

so i am REALLY happy with all of chapter 2 - the scene of the two of them meeting back up for the first time in high school was one i really always wanted to write back in the day, and was never sure how exactly it should go, so when i finally TRIED here, it just came together so well and organically. that was one of the chapters i wrote in one sitting and was like damn ok girl go off.

ch 4 is probably my favorite overall but especially the first segment aka the first time they very much accidentally shared a bed (who does not love a ~waking up in a haze and realizing someone is beside you that you DO NOT expect to see~ it’s one of my favorite cold opens).

THEN FINALLY. ch 5 i am proud of myself for bc it was definitely the one i wrestled with the most, particularly the (what i would consider) pent-ultimate moment of the revealing conversation between wan and korra towards the end. i rewrote and rearranged that conversation SO many times bc it was intended to be very.. circular and not entirely productive, but that was way harder to write than i expected lmao. so i’ll give credit that that’s one of my favorites for actually managing to get it to where i was happy with it!!

and now i’m also curious to go through and pick out my favorite individual lines but i am NOT going to do that today. but i DO need to reread the entire thing at this point to get back in the zone and FINISH IT so.. i might do that for fun anyway. and i’m sorry i will always answer about this fic REGARDLESS and yap too much about it / metalbanders in general bc it’s my BABY :’)

23. What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet?

who doesn’t always have like .. 10. there’s a lot (probably more that i HAVE started in some way than haven’t tho so…) i really want to write something from raava’s pov leading up to harmonic convergence because… angst hehe. and ofc speaking of angst, i still very much need to write kat’s kiss fic prompt which was “to distract” - haven’t started but when i say i am choosing violence for it i mean i am choosing VIOLENCE

30. Have you noticed your style change over time?

ohhh yeah definitely. i wrote a lot (“a lot” in retrospect i think i wrote outlines & stared at blank pages WAY more but i really FELT LIKE i wrote a lot, i just very rarely produced anything complete) when i was like 12-17 and i feel like i kind of started writing more ~stylistically~ when i was 15, and it took shape from there (which was yes, i read fight club at 14, got obsessed with chuck palahniuk’s books and absorbed him straight into my veins). so i would say the style has changed just in the sense of growing / improving / solidifying into something more consistent. like there’s something on ao3 that i started in 2012 at 15 and last updated in 2020 at 23, and even though it’s clear the later chapters are definitely better written than the early ones, i think you can tell it’s still the same voice writing it which i think is cool!

one notable difference that i think is just funny is that 10 years ago i really abused parenthesis in prose, and as i aged it turned into em dashes instead. but i’ve always used A LOT of italics and semi-colons. another way i’ve noticed growth is that i feel like i write dialogue in a distinctive way that matches my own speech patterns (my bestie read a scene from my original novel and was like “i love that they talk exactly like us” lmao). i obsessively read my dialogue out loud to make sure it actually comes out naturally which i think has helped me a lot to get more consistent and organic, where i remember struggling pretty frequently with dialogue when i was younger and too often feeling like it lacked character in general, not to mention being IN CHARACTER for whoever was saying it… if that makes sense bc i am full full rambling

[bonesandthebees]

im alive (questionable) and im finally back (real) and gods does it feel great to finally read the new rose chapter

I did NOT realise just how MUCH I missed it but DAMN

the crimeboys bonding is going great and theyre doing good in their surviving, im so proud of them

poor phil has to deal with the one thing he cannot control and so he ofc focuses on what he can control, control freak

im enjoying reading about him A LOT, hes so intriguing to me, like yeah so far hes a good character id say, but we get a peak at what he could be capable of and are slowly learning where his priorities and loyalties and limits lie and oh gosh is it fun to watch

and ofc THE BIG MOMENT OF THE CHAPTER: friendly nicknames privileges

and like its a really important and sweet moment in itself and ive been excited for it ever since learning there will be different official names like nikanna and willum and oh did it NOT DISAPPOINT like yesssssss letsgo they are FRIENDS and they let the other call them by their NICKNAMES and it shows how much CLOSER to got and the TRUST and just AHSHSHJSDHBSBSHS YESSSSSSS

and it gets even BETTER bc thats not all, this is a recurring theme with you, whether its a fae name that carries power, a mermaid name that signals family like in last years mermay, knowing a name that reveals the secret identity in superhero aus coming with trust but also responsibility, official and personal names of royals like rose and stars showing friendship or in the other way loss of it, and in glass the reclaiming of self identity thru the reclaiming of name and letting go of a title (which btw the coolest and most genius work with narration ive ever read) you just keep on giving names value in your stories and especially the act of sharing them, the one close to you, with others as a sign of love, even just a little bit and it gets me EVERY SINGLE TIME and the fact its a recurring theme gives it even more meaning, makes it get to me even more

and like its something that happens even in real life in some ways but we often overlook just how much love is hidden in it and I love that it gets to shine like this in your stories

I know we talked about your love for giving names more meaning like this before but I just needed to scream about it again bc IT STILL GETS TO ME

it feels so good to have you back in my inbox (and my ao3 comments) with walls of text like this jiksvokrat

they're doing shockingly well!! shoutout to tommy's survival knowledge wilbur would've been dead by morning without him

I'm so glad you're enjoying the phil pov. I love showing his control issues and how his mind works. he's such a calculating character and I have so much fun writing him

I'm so glad you like my recurring thing with names. I really don't know where it came from, I never had this whole thing with names before I started writing mcyt fic. I think I just really liked it both when I wrote that first fae au fic so many years ago and then when I was writing clinic and there was obviously the whole secret identity thing going on that I just realized I liked the theme and decided to use it where I could.

I just think the act of sharing your name, your identity with someone else can be so vulnerable and full of trust!! I guess this translates to every day stuff as well. like when one of my childhood friends came out as trans to me I felt so happy when she trusted me with her new name and identity (I was one of the first people she came out to). or as a less intense example, part of why I like having an online nickname is that it feels strangely nice to have a name that you guys here can use that's me but also a bit separate from me, but then I have my real name which is reserved for the people I'm closest to (though of course most of my internet friends who know my real name still use bee for me which I don't mind at all). I guess it's kind of like having a public persona vs a private persona. idk, I guess I just really feel the importance of names so I like including it as a theme in my writing.

I'm just very glad you guys aren't getting sick of the whole name giving thing yet lol

[thegeminisage]

ok. it's fuckinggg star trek update time. last night even though we were gonna start voyager we once again did not start voyager so we watch "heart of stone" which is maybe the best and most evil thing that's ever happened to me. let's FUCKING get into it.

heart of stone:

we're doing the b-plot first because i need a moment to collect myself (just rewatched the confession bit)

i forget that i actually like nog so much. this show will do something like have him demand his date cut up his food for him or have quark try to record kira for the holosuite and i'll be like yeah no we have to keep being racist against ferengi but then nog will be like my dad's life sucks and i don't want that to me be me and i CAN fucking inventory that room in 5 hours, just try to stop me, and like. damn. alright.

i did like that sisko, despite brushing him off at first, walked it back and gave him a genuine fair chance. i also like that not even his BEST FRIEND took him seriously...jake is not exempt from ferengi racism either. like, from nog's pov it shows just how much of a struggle it'll be to even apply to the fucking academy

i'm also proud of him for doing a good job. AND proud of his dad for standing up for him. fuck quark! i'll get over it but i'm feeling v anti-quark lately

ok, the goods..........

going into this i know from vague spoilers that kira and odo are canon. and that it doesnt happen until like s5 or s6. so IMAGINE my shock when he is out here confessing in SEASON 3??? and she is CONFESSING BACK???

here is the thing. firstly, odo makes hands to touch people with. also, he will protect her from a cave-in with his goopy body.

secondly, I DIDN'T KNOW IT WASN'T KIRA. i was fully 100% invested in this. but i DID do a double-take when she said it back because her boyfriend died like LAST episode. i didn't realize anything was shady with HER bc i was lost in the sauce but ODO DID. odo KNOWS HER...................

i also felt like they did a good job with odovision. every time the camera was on her it was like oh this is how odo sees her aka the most beautiful woman who ever lived

ugh. "so now you know" and him literally fucking collapsing. and then it was for NOTHING i was so furious

hey, also, this lady manipulating him by 1. pretending to be kira 2. if she can perfectly imitate a humanoid and odo can't, that means when she looks like him she's looking like him on PURPOSE, not because she can't choose another form

anyway do you ever realize that the people you've been looking for your whole life are monsters and the people who love you deserve your loyalty and love more even if you don't always understand them even if you don't know how to be a part of them. do you ever meet a bajoran terrorist and have her change the meaning of your very name from "nothing" to "someone who is loved" im gonna fucking kerm

"she said something you would never say" AAAAAUGH and kira innocently going "oh what?" and he LIES!!!!! LYING LIAR WHO LIES im in agony i thought about it nonstop last night driving 1h+ to the fucking airport to pick up my brother

i feel like i had more articulate thoughts previously but they've all fled my brain because i'm rolling around on the floor like my clothes are on fire. i hate this show this is KILLING MEEE this is one seriously slow fucking burn

ANYWAY! TONIGHT! FOR REAL THIS TIME: VOYAGER! i'm actually glad we're leaving ds9 on this note for half a dozen voyager eps or so because then i get to live here for a few days. just basking. AGHGHGH

IMPORTANT EDIT: i nearly forgot about this but the conversation sisko and bashir had about the male ensign who is "budding" aka "pregnant with twins" and is getting a hatchling pond made for him and the babies. 10/10

[angelfevr]

❤️️❤️️❤️️ :3

i have multiple wips so i'll talk abt All of them

this may get long, so.

icdwd - aka i couldn't dance with death if i tried!! its a zero escape fic mostly exploring a potential (loveless) relationship between akane and mira. its abt a lot of things i realize i never rlly touched upon in my other works?? for context im aromantic and i like. Constantly talk abt it even to my allo friends esp abt the constant amatonormativity the world likes to throw at us. specfically how ppl feel pressured to be in a relationship. why? well, various reasons: to fit in, to be seen as "more mature" (aspecs tend to experience infantilization and this doubles if ur autistic), to be seen as human, bc u feel like itll make u whole, bc u dont realize theres another option!! ive always hced my favs as aro ever since i realized it, but i always used to focus on the ace part of my identity. so i never rlly got to write a fic that explores aromanticism, aside from a fic i wrote four years ago in which leorio and kurapika hxh r in a qpr

another thing is i have ocd and for that reason, i dont like to write abt sexual topics . but in this fic, ive been sorta delving into that (its literally nothing just a fade to black that immediately goes to like the character waking up in another character's bedroom) and idk i think it shows my growth in a way?? that im willing to finally write that stuff without my ocd trying to kill me??? idk its . smth

im also having a Lot of fun writing akane and miras dynamic. i think, with me hcing them as aro (akanes aroace and miras an aro lesbian), i feel itd stand out more compared to other mirakane fanworks and interpretations . like this isnt a relationship ur supposed to root for!!! its abusive, its messy, its Uncomfortable, gory, and both women have ulterior motives. idk i like writing abt two unabashedly flawed queer women and having them navigate a relationship when one has no experience while the other has experience but whose disability prevents them from connecting w others (akane has a similar struggle), idk!! its an interesting dynamic

queerpei - i like a lot of the descriptions i wrote. im so used to writing akane that its soooo weird writing in the headspace of anyone else. but junpeis introspection is fun, like he has a mind of his own... i have this experience when writing akane (im plural so. go figure) and even when writing diana

angelus custos - so im kinda in the planning stage for this one but . Wow. im so proud of myself and how far ive come with this project, and just in general?? i used to primarily be a fic writer until 2018, when i decided to dabble in making my own characters. its always been bittersweet, bc my friends (all artists, never writers) would tell me to just make ocs instead of fanfic and my 12-14 yr old self would always be upset by that. so my characters never rlly came into their own so to speak

until This Year. ive been watching this rlly awesome youtuber named local script man. he's a screenwriter but a lot of his advice can apply to writing as well. i dont remember which video it was, but he talked abt how a characters' motivations can serve as fuel for smth deeper, like an insecurity for example. which THEN can serve as a backstory. and idky but it all clicked in my head?? character work became so much easier when i applied this to my process. i no longer had trouble w coming up w things that seemed to come naturally to most. bc i Know im good at fleshing out characters, i just needed to know how to do it for original work, even tho ive had friends praise my characters in the past

but yeah thats prob the best part of the story rn . im still having trouble w what their voices would sound like, speech patterns and the like, but thatd prob come around when i actually write the damn thing lol

BtSoyT - the idea itself has me so excited!!! ive been watching some horror movies, specifically recs from my friend @zebatverse hehe, and idk i feel like ive been getting more inspo and knowing what i'd wanna do if i were to write horror . i have several other ideas besides this in my notebook but this is one i wanna write the most. i even made a moodboard for it ^_^