#and then when I get commissions I just hyper focus on it because I get anxious

[mzuul]

The realist struggle as an artist with ADHD is having 1 millions ideas to draw but then producing nothing because you’re constantly thinking of new ideas.

[writingquestionsanswered]

Hi, sorry if it has already been answered,

I love to write but I realised all my character are all on the spectrum, which is clearly because I, myself, am autistic and have ADHD

Do you know any tips so I can write a neurotypical character ?

They just seems so alien to me I don't even know how to start.

I like to write character that are far from the person that I am, as a challenge, and to be more understanding of difference, But I do get stuck on this one

Writing Neurotypical Characters as ND Writer

First and foremost, while I understand you don't want all of your characters to be on the spectrum, it's great that a lot of your characters are. ND readers love to see themselves represented in the characters they read about, especially when the writer is ND themselves.

Next: the thing about neurotypical people is that, like neurodivergent people, they're not just one thing. I can't say neurotypical people behave like this, this, and this, and never do this, that, or the other thing, because there's no standard for neurotypical brains, just like there's no standard for neurodivergent brains. Everyone is different. Neurotypical people can share some of the traits that make us ND, it's just that they don't have those traits in abundance like we do. For example, I have neurotypical friends who are bad a math, lousy at directions, and get overhwhelmed in loud crowded places, just like me. However, they don't experience any other ND traits, so they're not ND. They're just neurotypical people who happen to be bad at math, awful at finding their way around, and dislike crowded places.

I don't know if this is true for other ND people, but I know for myself, I was always hyper-aware of the ways I was different from everyone around me. I was self-conscious about the things I did that other kids didn't seem to do, so that difference was always obvious to me. It's possible that you've done this, too, so those differences are something you can focus on when creating your neurotypical characters.

Another thing you can do is make a list of the ND traits that make you you. Then, when you're creating/writing your characters, avoid giving any one character more than two or three of those traits. If you're not sure which of your traits fall into the ND category, you can look at lists of traits for autism and ADHD (or any other type of ND), make a list of the traits you exhibit (which are then more likely to find their way into your characters), and again, just make sure none of your characters individually exhibit more than two or three of those traits.

I hope that helps!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[veryfandomobsessed]

Finally, a blog introduction!

About Me!

Hi! You can call me DJ or VFO! I am a minor, older than 4 of course so please stay aware of that. The only Socials I have are just a Tumblr and a Discord. But if I ever do get more I will add it here! I love all types of animation, mostly cartoons and stuff but I will probably have a main focus on a show but that doesn't mean I don't still love the others. Something that I will also do is draw my persona, usually in response to an ask but it represents basically my reaction to things, and yes sometimes I will be lazy and not draw the glasses and sometimes I will so interpret it how you wanna. I am definitely a big music freak so if you wanna suggest anything I'm all ears! I am Latina but I do not know Spanish despite me taking it for 5+ years but currently I've been learning Japanese. I also love plenty of stuff in the ocean and anything that's ancient lookin. I'm pretty laid back but somehow also hyper and I could yap about a character or something specific for hours, but I can hold back. I can't really think of anything else to say about myself so..

About the blog!

I started this blog about 2 years ago and it has been quite the journey from where I started to where I am now, with posting nothing to actually starting to serve up the art that I brew up. This is quite a multi-fandom Art Blog that might focus more on one thing more than others so just a heads up. Enjoy your time here and request stuff when my requests are open! If my ask box says requests closed, it doesn't mean you can't ask me questions. Spam liking is fine, don't worry if your doing to much, it's silly to see!!! Maybe sometime in the future I might make another blog for whatever, specific art, an ask blog, anything along those lines, there will also be occasional reblogs from some of my folk, not folk, and chains.This account is SFW!!

My Art!

Noticeably I put "VFO" on all my pieces of art that I post, if any of it gets reposted or taken without credit please let me know! I work hard on some of the art I do. Adding to the requests things I am busy and don't always have the time or energy to draw them, so if I have time and energy to I will do them! I also might do commissions sooner or later when I figure out a good way to do it. I do both traditional and digital, I mainly use my finger on my phone to draw but I'm trying to do stuff more on a tablet and such! Everyday I'm doing more to improve my art and try to learn as much as I can. My art style ranges a lot but I do try and keep it consistent. sometimes it can look like an entirely different person drew it but whether I draw something cutesy one day and something intense the next day I swear it's still me,I'm just trying to find what style or thingy I'm more used to. Only occasionally there will be blood and stuff included in my art but I will always but a TW to make sure people have a heads up. I also typically use more lighter colors for my drawings but sometimes I will change it so the lines are harsher (ex: black instead of the usual brown I use). You are free to ask me for tips and tricks or questions you have about my art because I love helping and giving some creative ideas!

Thats it!

I hope you have a wonderful Day or Night wherever you may be! Or mid day! Or evening! Military time hour your at!!!

Extra info below:

Discord

To be able to contact my discord, you would have to be somebody who I've interacted with before and I know you're safe to chat with. you can send me your tag in asks WITHOUT being anonymous or in the Tumblr chat so it is clear and confirmed. it is completely my choice if I decide to add you or not.

If there is more info I can think about, I will add it in my next edit, this was made 7/31/24.

Recent Edit: none

[ur-friendly-nbhd-cardassian]

Hello there!

a little "about me" post

my art

♡ My AO3 ♡ My Ko-fi ♡ My Cara ♡ My Pillowfort ♡ My Wattpad ♡

I'm a very long-winded person and when I like doing something, I like doing A LOT of it. I have a lot of fandoms, I like pretty art and cats, I write and muse about stuff - it's all a huge mess if I put it in one place. So that's why I decided to split my obsessions into several neat piles, so people could have an easier time deciding whether to follow, ignore or block my stuff according to their preferences.

Order an OC commission on my Ko-fi ♡

Here are my blogs which you're free to explore and follow as you like:

» ur-friendly-nbhd-cardassian

The main blog where I shout into nothingness. But where I also post lots of Star Trek, mainly about Cardassians (bc I love them). I do not do Garashir, tho, look for that particular bit elsewhere (not bc I don't ship them, but bc I'm severely overfed to the point of having an allergic rection). My focus Cardassian is Damar, followed by Dukat. I'm super open to reblogging your OCs, though. My other favorite fandoms you might come across on this blog (which I don't post enough about to make a separate blog): Mass Effect, Discworld, Tolkien, Detroit: Become Human, Apex Legends, Marvel/DC, Hunger Games. I also ramble, post about writing in general, reblog some fitting memes and pets/animals, share my own photography, reblog art etc.

» pixie-in-a-moonlantern

The initiated already know: Baldur's Gate 3 brainrot blog. I post my OC screenshots, my own and reblogged fanfiction, reblog A LOT of blorbos (Halsin, Gortash, Raphael,..), whether it's art or headcanons. I do not have any VP tools, so my screens are only lightly edited to be prettier, and that's it. I prefer to avoid posting negative stuff, so it's just batshit obsession and thoughts.

» shaved-wampa

Diehard fans surely got the joke: Star Wars brainrot, and that goes for every conceivable piece of the fandom, even the bits you might not agree with - I don't discriminate. My all-time favorites are: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Bode Akuna. Yes, just the two, because I also have a huge pile of characters I love, but don't really focus on: Padmé, Ahsoka, Ventress, Plo Koon, Kit Fisto, Din Djarin, lil Grogu, Cody, infinite number of other Clones, ... soooo many. My top two are just the guys I actually write about. Bode's and Obi-Wan's fics are unfortunately on hold right now (sigh).

» cyber-vianne-77

As the name suggests, this is my Cyberpunk 2077 blog. I used to do a lot of virtual photography in that one - and yes, this time I mean real VP, though still no paid tools, just vanilla and free mods. I love Goro Takemura and ship my fem V with him heavily - wrote a dope fanfiction about them called 'Broken' (and following parts 'Gimme Danger' and 'Last Caress'). I reblog other cp77 vp (especially of Goro) and fanart. I don't currently play the game or shoot photos, but I have a large collection I plan to drizzle over the next few months, until I maybe decide to go back to cp77 for a while again and finally play Phantom Liberty that's been waiting for me for a long time now xD.

» sergeant-sassy

A mix of obsessions with one man in common: John Hopkins, a British actor :). Seen in Midsomer Murders and lately heard in various games as a voice actor. I've fallen for him for the first time 20 years ago - and he returned to me as Erend in Horizon games (Zero Dawn & Forbidden West). I love the games and its characters and take a lot of screenshots, too :). So it's a weird dump of Ereloy, Kotaloy (because Noshir) and Midsomer Murders :3

» goodness-all-around

My "assorted dopeness" reblogs. It's getting 0 attention so I just usually post shit to cardassian or to my private collection to avoid overflowing my main.

I will update the list if I happen to change things or add/remove blogs. Thanks for your attention and see you in the activity notifs! 💛

Bits of trivia: I'm Czech, cis woman (bi & poly and, frankly, hyper), 32, in a relationship, mom to a 5yo boy, a writer struggling to finish and publish her first original novel, drowning her sorrows in fanfic instead :). I got to most of my fandoms quite late in life, because where I live this info only started to properly flow in with the coming of the internet. I'm usually a casual fan, though when I hit a gold vein I can get a bit obsessed. I love writing fanfiction, which is mostly why I'm here on this site. I self-insert a lot (therapy writing) and usually ship us, with the rare occasion of finding a couple where I can identify with one of them (or mold them to my image because I like or even fancy them). I've spent my life believing I was hetero and discovered I'm not only once I (finally) was in a hetero relationship and had a kid, so... my ships are also hetero. It's a habit, not hating, I don't discredit any gay ships (maybe quietly to myself when they don't make any sense to me character-wise, lol). My AO3 account: XindiChick I usually try to write even the most niche of my ships in a way that doesn't require much knowledge of the original, so you're welcome to browse and read to your heart's content if you happen to like my style. I welcome any interactions, especially comments, because I don't get many.

I think it's something everyone should always be aware of, but I've also seen many people ignoring this unsaid rule:

HATERS NEED NOT INTERACT

- lest they get blocked. I'm not here to argue with you about why I like certain characters and why you think I shouldn't. Go simp for your own top picks on your own blogs and leave me alone. Same goes for any of my personal trivia I shared.

Also:

DISCLAIMER: My blogs are a safe space for everyone who doesn't go around hating on everyone else. I will block indiscriminantly assholes of every shape, color, faith, gender, orientation etc., just as I will happily interact with good people of any kind. Idc what your deal is, I just wanna enjoy being on this platform, so if you plan to rain on it, don't expect me to indulge you.

Icons by: @rpschtuff

By the way, a fun fact known only to people aware of my main fanfic novel, The Casualty, the Cardassian in my username was actually born Bajoran, but raised Cardassian, which is why she's a Cardassian in heart and spirit. She's your friendly reminder that not all Cardies are the same and as a nation have the capacity to be much better than how they were presented in the DS9, which is what she's trying to achieve.

[djsherriff-responses]

Hey hey! Stumbled across your Rayman/Reflux art and oh my God. You have no idea how happy I was to find out I wasn't the only one. I've been stuck in this hell for around 8 years now and the one time I shared it with my brother the ancient drawing ended up becoming a meme in the Rayman speedrun community lmao.

I will likely draw the two again soon since seeing all the art of Rayman on my desk has reawakened this ship from a dormant side of my brain. There's just so much potential! Generally I wish more people spoke about Reflux but it appears he gets often times forgotten.

8 years? You were ahead of the times

Thank this fanfic for existing because I wouldn’t be shipping them otherwise, it’s not only an interesting ship fic but has a unique take on Rayman lore with an intriguing plot (and also I may have been commissioned to do sketches for it)

I do not think I’ve seen the meme you’re talking about , though I’m also not into speed runs so that’s likely why

I think the reason there isn’t much Reflux or knaaren stuff is because most people found the knaarens scary and those people are cowards , thirsty people focus more on Betilla and her sisters , as well as the princesses

I’m currently hyper fixated on Laserhawk atm and I’m attempting a Laserfrog au, but I do look forward to seeing more Reflux art and such. I agree Reflux is an interesting character and I think you can pull some interesting stuff from him when you look past the “KH boss music” memes

Have these two having an awful wedding moment from my hades and Persephone au, as a treat

[rubberduckyrye]

You know no one noticed this when I talked about Adrian, the Ultimate Dilettante--but the word Dilettante is actually a bit of a rude title to give them.

It essentially means one who dabbles in skills and trades as hobbies, as an amateur, and never takes learning the skill seriously. It's not just a "Jack of all Trades" kind of thing--it is, very specifically, described as being amateurish in several fields.

Adrian being hyper intelligent and easily bored makes this talent of theirs, what amounts to being really "The Ultimate Amateur", is a very rude title and a slap in the face for them. They do try to master things, but they get so distracted and bored so fast that they can't keep focus.

That's why I sort of focused on talking about how Adrian feels like they don't belong in the professional world full of professionals and masters--because they are a Master of None. They are the jack of all trades--and while the full phrase is "Jack of all trades, master of none--but still better than a master of one", Adrian grew up to think otherwise.

No one asked Adrian to help them with things because they were always an amateur at it. Why pay a kid who doesn't fully know what they're doing to fix your toilet when you can hire a professional from just down the highway?

Why ask commission Adrian for artwork when you can instantly message people online who are better at art than them for higher quality products?

Why ask them to handle complex equipment? Why ask them to translate languages they barely speak?

There's a professional who can do the same right down the road. Or even better, right at your fingertips.

[changelingsandothernonsense]

Ok, I've sent a version of this question to @mareenavee for writerly stuff, but figured I'd adapt it to the arting process and then come pester youuuuuu. Though feel free to answer it in writing mode too, just pick whichever you want to ramble about more :> 1. What are the (art and/or) techniques you're most comfortable with? What comes easily and naturally and just flows (and how come?) 2. What's the stuff that requires lots and lots of redos and revisions? What challenges you as an artist? 3. What do you want to try your hand at, but haven't yet?

Yes, art process asks! We're doing that now!

What are the (art and/or) techniques you're most comfortable with? What comes easily and naturally and just flows (and how come?)

My comfort zone is portraits. Drawing people is easy (relatively speaking), and as much as I complain about it, I do enjoy and have become semi ok at faces and hands in general. I don't know if anything flows (I have poor hand-eye-coordination so it's a bit of an effort on my behalf to do anything precise but I'm clearly a masochist and choose to do precise work) sketches take like 3 hours and lineart takes 1-2 so yeah...slow. I think painting flows best if I'm listening to music, easier to zone out/hyper-focus enough to resist distraction. Skin and hair are the most relaxing to paint (even if I complain about it, I just kinda complain).

Digital is something I fell into because I had Photoshop loaded onto the home computer (ye old 2008 lounge room computer box) and traditional mediums were giving me eczema and/or making me dizzy and triggering headaches so I switched around age 15 and haven't really used many traditional mediums since... No wait, graphite, I'll use that but it's been a time. I am most comfortable with digital. Plus I hate the feeling of stuff on my hands, sensory issues apparently.

My painting technique is kinda similar to both oils and chalk pastels (pastels being my mum's medium, so I picked up a lot from that) like a weird hybrid between the two applied digitally I kinda just pulled from a lot of things and found what came easiest for my process.

What's the stuff that requires lots and lots of redos and revisions? What challenges you as an artist?

Oh boi, this is where I get called weird... (for personal work) I don't do working drawings or thumbnails or studies, I don't do warm-ups and I don't revise sketches. I have a crystal clear image that appears in my head of exactly how I want the finished piece to look, sometimes it's informed by a reference sometimes I have to make one that fits. I know exactly what I need to do to get it to look like that image. That includes lighting and colour that I add at the end, I paint cold and turn the heat up at the end. It's easier on my eyes. I do revisions when I'm doing commissions and professional art, it's a collaborative project and I'm creating someone's vision for them (which I also enjoy). I'll make edits within reason, there's a cut-off point that no one has ever reached but it's 3. I can create to a brief pretty well after 12 years of client work.

Challenges would be backgrounds and scenes, I'm working on those so that they are no longer challenges.

What do you want to try your hand at, but haven't yet?

I want to make something out of clay, a little Horus replica broach.

Like this Ptolemaic Falcon Faience Applique but with more Horus symbology. One day!

[pomellon]

For the ask game!

3. What ideas come from when you were little

11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what

25. Something your art has been compared to that you were NOT inspired by

26. What's a piece that got a wildly different interpretation from what you intended

3. A lot of my dragon stuff :D I've had dragon ocs and stories since I was like 7. Most of my early inspirations came from the original Spyro games, but my dragon art and lore have all grown with me since I was really little <3

11. Yeah I basically HAVE to listen to something while I'm drawing, specially when working on commissions, or I lose focus cuz I daydream about au stuff way too much.

A lot of the time it's youtube documentaries, shows, podcasts, or audio books. I'm currently listening to AC: The Golden City for like 4th time because that's where my hyper fixation is currently at XD;

25. Biggest one is probably anime in general and it used to bug the hell out of me. I did def get inspired by a lot of anime in me younger teens but after that I was just trying to find my own style and it used to irk me so much when people said it looked like anime. I find it a lil tiring when my cat stuff is instantly thought of as warrior cat related, but now days I honestly don't care much uwu

26. Oh boy. I made this commission a couple of years ago that I won't show here because because lets just say a lot of people saw it the wrong way. Even tho no one made a big fuzz about it both me and the commissioner had a chat about it and decided to delete the piece from both of our galleries just in case 😬

[rttnpnkpmpkn]

good day/evening OP! got a question if you don’t mind! how long have you been drawing art? and what keeps you motivated to draw? do you also do commissions? and do you ever feel tired or exhausted staying in one fandom?

thanks for answering! take your time and you don’t have to answer these if you’re not comfortable ☺️

((btw anon here is in early 20’s just to be clear ^^))

Good evening/day, Anon! And thanks for clarifying your age, as it really does mean a lot 🙏💖

No problem at all to answer these! For drawing, traditionally, it’s ever since I got my hands on my first set of crayons as a babby.

1) If it’s digitally, I started doing more of that when I bought my first surface pro tablet with the remaining art scholarship money at 18-19 years old back in 2015, I believe! Medibang was a game changer because I felt it was a good starter drawing software when I couldn’t afford Paint Tool Sai at the time (I eventually bought a license for Clip Studio instead because of a friend’s recommendation lol).

2) What motivates me to draw? I have many reasons. First one to spite a kindergarten classmate who said my drawing of a Pokémon wasn’t good xD (don’t remember which). Second, to tell stories because I couldn’t write a cohesive plotline. Third, it’s the cheapest entertainment I got lol.

I remember I tried to adapt excepts from the novels I read into comic form and they were pretty fun. Especially when I was inspired by the 39 Clues fanart in the wiki page at the time.

I think if people online made them look fun, it makes me wanna join in too, and that makes me forget that my skills suck~ Which is very important in having the motivation to draw. When focusing on quality, or perfectionism , I tend to be very harsh towards myself, which what leads to my occasional art blocks.

3) Ay I do commissions, but currently closed atm! I still have two more to go and thus, I promise myself not to reopen until I get them done!

You can find the list in my Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/rttnpnkpmpkn/commissions

I may have to increase the prices a bit to account for inflation, which is disappointing but every penny counts in this trying times sorry! qwq

4) It depends! While I can enjoy a content for as long as I can before I move on to the next, the main deciding factor is whether to be involved in a community.

Every fandom I came across as a lurker always seem to follow a pattern, so I’m very reserved in joining new communities socially.

I came for the experience, so I gotta make the most out of it before I do leave to find my next hyper fixation. I’m drawing until I can find my “finale” if that makes sense ^^;

Peeps can come and go in a fandom, but inspo strikes when no one asks!

For the particular fandom I’m in, It’s definitely a mixed bag, but I’ll focus on the positives!

I have many things to be grateful for as they’re the ones who got me out of an art rut for the past year and so. I learn so many new skills and life lessons from them, where I couldn’t imagine it being any different if I didn’t meet them otherwise. I met the nicest peeps who made me forget I’m not too fond of group chats, and were very nice and supportive in their own way!

I’m returning the favor for the inspo they brought me as it’s the least I can do ^^

Also, I never truly leave a fandom, I just wander around as a lurker until I find a reason to come back again. I don’t really make an account dedicated to a specific fandom, because they don’t usually last long, so I tend to sample from other places to make the candle last longer. It wasn’t obvious mostly because I was more of a lurker then and an OC artist xD

I began drawing lots of fanarts mainly because peeps made drawing pr0n for a stickman fun 🤣

Hope that answers your question, and thank you for your time! 🙇💖

[worgengel]

3, 4, 20, 25 art ask 👀

3. what song(s) do you listen to when you do art?

It depends on the piece! For more sketch work/less focused work, I usually listen to video game osts, or lighter music. For focus work/heavy detail work, I usually listen to metal/hyper music to keep me motivated to finish

4. how often do you draw?

I usually draw at least one thing a day. Be it just a quick study, or a mindless doodle. On days when I'm working on commissions, I draw throughout the day to keep from getting out of the groove (draw something every two-five hours or so). I made sure to take entire days off drawing when I've been drawing for days straight though, otherwise health issues happen lol. Most of the time though, I draw whenever I'm bored of other things.

20. how often do you get art block?

All the time. It usually comes around at least once a month, and I just gotta muscle through it while taking breaks here and there. Usually I do a ton of studies in order to 1. Improve my skills until the art block resolves itself 2. Since they're realistic, there's no worry of stylization. I've found the best cure for art block is having a hyperfixation that won't LET you mope about lmao. I think the best thing is to be kind to yourself during art block, and just remember that all art will be old art someday, and therefore whatever you drew before/didn't like was just another step to improvement

25. where in your house do you usually do art?

At my desk (for traditional work) and at the kitchen table for digital work. My desk is a bit too low to draw on my tablet comfortably, plus I have my supplies in my desk. I usually sit at the kitchen table and draw digitally because it's more comfortable there. Kills my tailbone though

[snowmuttgetsweird]

3/6/23 (technically- it's after midnight but for me it's still Sunday till I go to sleep and wake up again. Same thing with the last post- it was technically already Sunday, but for me it still felt like Saturday.)

The pot roast came out great. I didn't actually have a bowl myself cause I've noticed that overeating tends to exacerbate the panic attacks, and I was still pretty full from a late lunch, but I taste-tested it for seasoning and to make sure the veggies softened, and it was pretty dope. I just walked to a MeeTea and picked up a green milk tea with some sago instead- super yummy, very satisfying.

SALT YOUR MEAT AHEAD OF TIME. It makes a BIG difference- just salt it generously and put it on a plate in the fridge, uncovered, 24 hours in advance. It's just an old fashioned Campbell's Soup pot roast but little things like that can really elevate it. I'd really like to convince my roommate to let me deglaze the pan with some red wine after searing the outside of the chuck roast. He's not a big fan of wine flavors in cooking, but I'll try to win him over next time.

Oh, also my roomie and I cleaned up our apartment. We've been sitting on our Christmas tree and finally put it away today. It's one of those things that just gets away from you, but I decided we needed to ride that wave of productivity and just do it today, and we ended up cleaning the whole place. We both did our sheets, our towels, I cleaned the whole kitchen (almost exclusively my domain), reorganized our pantry, etc. Vacuumed and aired out the whole place. The weather was beautiful all day- chilly, but just BARELY warm enough to be t-shirt weather, about 50 F, with intermittent showers. I absolutely love dreary, overcast weather.

Also started a new book. I'm only through the prologue, but it's interesting so far: The Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson. Pmuch immediately establishes an interesting magic system that got me thinking again about a character I used to RP in a freeform chat with friends named Noland- a psychic whose powerset was grounded in fun comicbook-y pseudoscience. Maybe I'll talk about him here later? I get to pretend I know something about thermodynamics and stuff when I do, it's fun to talk about.

Oh, and on Friday I "finished" a big project I've been working on for a client that I kinda had to prioritize that was keeping me from really working on the other commissions I've taken, so I finally get to get back to work on those tomorrow. There's technically still more to do, but it's all back-burner stuff I don't have to prioritize over my usual workload. I'm actually pretty excited for that. It feels good to feel like I'm making progress. It really sucks feeling sorta "stuck" on just one project or piece and not really being able to step away and work at my own pace. It usually helps me a lot to jump around between jobs throughout the day, because I can say that I touched and made progress on multiple things, and one will inevitably capture my attention that day, and then I can hyper-focus on that one until it's just done. It makes me incredibly thankful for how patient the vast majority of my clients have been- I'm spoiled rotten that way.

Big batch of pot roast in the fridge, a new book (been a few months since I was actively working through a book), more good meals on the way, a clean apartment, good weather, even a slightly rekindled interest in one of my own OCs... Not to mention another panic attack free day...

Tax stuff aside, this has potential to be a good week. Feeling tired, but optimistic and hopeful. I think I'll try to start tomorrow morning with a short walk.

[jjkafterhours]

Btw I’m wondering did Toji and Y/N just get married right away? Like how did they meet and what got Y/N to marry Toji?

Megumama’s disappearance is mostly left ambiguous, you can either imagine that she had left because of Toji because of his rashness, or that her passing on was a consequence of Toji being too careless while going on with his jobs. It is up to the reader to decide whether they had separated before her demise, or whether her demise separated them. Although Toji had been trying to quit his habits, preferably taking up a different job; it paid well, and it was the only thing he was familiar with. When Megumama left, it broke him down and he rebounded back to his old ways, but he realised that he had Megumi to take care of.

So he remarries. 3 months later the woman hands him the divorce papers and signs away the rights to her daughter to him. He hadn’t fallen in love, mostly looking somewhere to leave Megumi safely then take off. But now he had two of them.

Toji was miserable. It was precisely because of this why they had fallen into poverty.

This was something which Toji was familiar with but now he had two more mouths to feed, and Tsumiki had to go to school. So after a few months he begins to work again, practically shaking Shiu when the man thought he needed a break. He did not know how to process his feelings, so he just left it at that and did what he could do best.

Toji was hyper-aware of the fact that his children needed somebody; so he decided to try, one final time. Tsumiki certainly could not go to the Zenins, but perhaps Megumi could. He wonders if he should just marry somebody with a shit-ton of money but too hare-brained to only focus on his looks; he knew there were people like that (some of them commissioned him, but he did not care, as long as the pay was good)

Then he met Y/N.

I won’t say that there were sparks when he first met her. He felt numb as before, but he did recognise the flushed look on her face, anxiously playing with her fingers. A schoolgirl crush. Hah.

Toji stuck around for some time. She wasn’t rich or anything particular, but perhaps that was fine. He mostly needed a parental figure; he could just earnt the money and wire it to her bank account or something. He cannot be a complete deadbeat dad (although that on the other hand wouldn’t be so bad, but- no.) to his children.

He marries her at the end of the year. There's no ceremony, you both had gone to the court and signed the papers. He had grudgingly offered to call one of the Zenin subordinates as a witness, but you did not mind one of your cousins taking that place. However, the way you lace your fingers though his felt strangely intimate.

Or maybe he was just imagining it.

He does what he is expected to do, attending to his family when he can. Sometimes the thoughts of his first wife overwhelms him, but he mostly keeps them at bay; he had new responsibilities now, and could not afford to not pay attention to his thoughts for long.

It takes him 6 months to properly know his wife, another 6 as he slowly begins to fall in love. He does not understand at first of course, thinking that it was relief that he felt from knowing that his children were safe.

A year is a long time, but it was not like nothing had happened in that span of time. He saw how she tenderly held both his children, her love guileless and true; before turning to him.

It was actually a night when he had returned from one of his jobs, late at night. It was a particularly difficult one, but he had managed with a couple of scratches. He sees you walking around the house, the kids asleep upstairs, mostly stopping to either dust away a corner, or rearrange a bunch of pots in the balcony.

He realizes that it’s not just that: you were waiting for him. Your gaze flickers to him, darting up and down to see any kind of injuries, and when you don’t, you offer him a quiet nod. The “schoolgirl crush” had mostly gone by then, your butterflies in your stomach slowly settling into a steady, warm feeling.

“You’re beautiful.” Toji says, then stops. What the fuck, he thinks, was he delirious?

“So are you.” You reply, then smile, seeing his flustered expression. “You’re a dork.”

“I’m not.”

“You are. You pretend to be this really big, grumpy man, but you’re adorable.”

Never in a hundred lifetimes did he think that somebody would describe him as adorable of all things. He knew he was intimidating, hell, even took advantage of it in queues, seedy looking places, his job. But you seemed to look at the Sorcerer Killer and only see a buttercup in its place.

“I’m not.” He mumbles, when you pull the side of his cheek.

“Why are you doing this?” He asks, as the pad of your thumb runs over his cheekbones.

“Hmm, just checking,” You grin when he gives you a puzzled look. “Still as handsome as ever.”

He immediately scowls, his ears going a brilliant red.

“Don’t say things like that.”

[fire-emblem-drabbles]

Matchup Commission: Petal Style Ok! It’s been a while since I’ve sent any matchup requests lol. Anyways! Id like this one to be with Hríd! I’m 18, INTP, Libra, and 5’2. I’m a cis (at least I think so?) bi girl. Usually I’m very easygoing to the point of being a bit lazy, but when I’m drawing or working on something I tend to hyper focus for hours on end until it’s done. It’s pretty self destructive but I can’t really be productive otherwise. Im pretty outgoing despite being VERY depressed and I love meeting new people! I’m a bit of a hopeless romantic and loyal to a fault. I consider myself very sex positive but I’m overall pretty vanilla, save for having a thing for praise and being tied up. My hobbies, besides fencing, are mostly art (visual and musical) related— I needle felt, embroider, draw, sing, sculpt, you name it! I just can’t paint. I was classically trained as a kid in piano and clarinet. I also like collecting perfumes (and my friends say that I can be a bit pretentious about it). My body is pretty frail from being unathletic as hell and having POTS, and I’m often very fatigued. This leads to me taking a LOT of naps and sleeping in whenever I can. I take great care of my appearance and how I dress! Either im too lazy to put on anything other than pajamas or I go the whole nine yards and decide I have to be the best looking person in the room. I like the finer things in life but I often worry that it makes me seem greedy or selfish. High fashion, classical art, orchestral performances, formal events, and fine jewelry are all things I’d love to have or go to often but I’m a broke college kid so I have to settle for viewing from a distance. My love languages are gifts and words of affirmation! I hope this was enough, thank you in advance <3

Okay first off, mood at the cis(?) because me too girl. Secondly I think you and Hrid are going to get on famously. Ohh, I can just see it now... (Third, special note: I'm doing this a little different then some match ups I have in the past but I think it will come out better!)

It's a cold, dark winters night... One where you would normally find yourself wanting to curl into bed and sleep or enjoy a simple hobby like felting or needling... But there's an impromptu performance the heroes are putting on in the music hall, and you don't want to miss it, or a chance to put on something nicer than your usual summoners cloak! So you dress yourself in something nice, but not too crazy, this is just for fun after all! But you can't help but indulge in your finer taste a little. Still, you're ready in record time and eager to dance and play with the heroes!

It's as you're making way to the lovely music, considering dancing a bit or even joining the heroes playing instruments that you're hit by a sudden bout of fatigue; you're wobbly in your heels for a second, arms out to support yourself on the nearby wall but someone comes in your aid. Vision still a little blurred as you support yourself in their arms, you mummer a thank you as you take in their sent. It's subtle, but they smell like pine and mint.

"Summoner, are you alright?" You blink once as you look up at him. As your eyes meet, something just... clicks. It's like meeting for the first time again as your heart starts pumping. He looks so concerned for you, blue eyes solely trained on yours... It's a look, you realize, you could easily get lost in.

For Hrid, though, this crush has been festering in him for far too long... He always admired you on a surface level, for what you did for him and his family but it wasn't until he got to know you more did he realize just to what extent that went to. He fell hard and fast for you, from how hard you pushed yourself for your work and passions, to even with your disabilities you still tried to enjoy yourself.

When you respond to him "I'm alright Hird, since you caught me." With a warm smile is that he knows he can't let you leave his arms without telling you how he feels. Everything just feels so perfect in this moment, he can't help but let the words tumble from his lips.

"I love you." His words are warm and soft and genuine, but in that moment Hrid realizes his mistake as your eyes widen.

Thankfully, it all ended up alright; you feel the same of course, and after some teasing on his behalf the night ended up even better then you could hope; with Hrid by your side.

As I said, this is admiration that turned into genuine love. Hrid, I think, is the kind of person that doesn't really go searching for a love or romance. If anything, it catches him off guard and he has a hard time coming to terms with it. He's just dense in that way, I suppose! With you though, he couldn't stop it...

You're quite opposite in that way, being a hopeless romantic yourself! Once Hrid realized his feeling though, knowing how you are, he wanted to make things sweet and romantic when he confessed to you... the fact that it happened on accident because he got so overwhelmed of his feelings for you still haunts him!

But when he gets to cuddle up with you on a day where you're particularly tired, or when he gets to indulge in fencing with you, or when you share your love of perfume or high fashion or jewerly with him with that sweet genuine smile on his face... There's nowhere he'd rather be then with you.

That said, he might try to coddle you. He just worries! Just remind him that, while you do appreciate his help that you're also more then capable of taking care of yourself. He just wants you to know that he can take care of you (he's the eldest and the only boy he feels like he has to take care of absolutely everyone he loves). Turn the tables and take care of him! His love languages are acts of service and quality time, so while he'll certainly learn yours to indulge you (the kind of guy to see something you like and buy it before really thinking about it) and treat him too!

All and all, I see this as the kind of relationship that's warm and soft. Communication shouldn't be an issue but the two of you may have troubles sharing your burdens with one another, so don't be afriad to talk about them! You may have to corner and catch Hrid off guard for him to do the same (this is mister "I can carry everyones burdens" after all) but he can't bare to lie or hide things from you.

[disco-tea]

Something I’m super curious about is Five’s personality and it’s development. I love current Five’s personality but clearly he couldn’t have consistently had this attitude since he landed in the apocalypse.

Like I know he had Delores but obviously he was sweet on her in his time in the apocalypse. So that reemergence in the roots of his abrasive childhood personality had to have really been perfected while at the commission. The commission where he also had the chance to gain a more deadly edge that affected his overall current attitude, alongside the focus on stopping the apocalypse he developed in those long decades.

I think it’s just super interesting to think about Five’s in between period of readjusting to socialization, before he’s settled into the comfortable hyper focused and almost manic state we know him as. A period where he had to have been getting used to talking with other people and dealing with them not being on the same page or being threats to his goal. A large shift from Delores I’m sure. (Sorry for the long rant but just wanted to hear your thoughts on the concept!)

Oh wow. Honestly Five’s personality is super interesting. There are so many layers and I think it’s apart of what makes him such an interesting character that so many people love.

For me, personally, I feel like at his core he is inherently a caring person capable of great amounts of love. But (much like Diego) his circumstances and interactions throughout his life have forced him to adopt a much more abrasive and defensive attitude. I think what we see of him as a kid is...well, a kid who is still very much developing and is just not in a good environment. He’s snippy, he’s brash, he’s still growing and learning and trying to figure himself out but he’s in this harsh atmosphere where there isn’t room for weakness or trial and error. He’s probably used to being yelled at and belittled and neglected and abused. (I mean seriously, how much negative behavior do you think the siblings learned straight from Reginald?) He’s severely lacking in warmth and love and support. So like...I can definitely see him being that way. That’s gotta be confusing for any 13 year old, especially one that deep down probably just wants to be loved.

Then there’s apocalypse Five...I feel like he’s just a MESS. There’s so much grief and trauma there. Such a desperation for human connection. I feel like he would be so desperate and in pain that a lot of his usual defense mechanisms would sort of take a backseat for a while. Just thinking about what it would’ve looked like if he had gotten back or been rescued while he was still in his teens...I think he still would’ve been very broken and just a huge wreck. I feel like there were probably moments where that side of him would come back a bit, like maybe when he was seriously struggling and starving and maybe he’d snap at Delores only to apologize profusely afterward and beg her not to leave him too.

Then on to the commission, it was probably incredibly jarring. To go from no human contact to suddenly being forced into yet another harsh and quite honestly insane environment filled to the brim with killers...oh and by the way you have to be a killer now too. I think...I don’t think Five felt a lot of relief when he got to the commission. I think it was better than the alternative and he saw it as his only chance to get back home. But I think it was very difficult and painful and he was very aware that they were all threats too (who would kill him if he ever stopped being useful) and he should never let his guard drop. That’s probably why he worked alone, not only because he didn’t trust them but also because he was so used to it by then. In my mind, I think he got there and clammed up and fell back on his old defense mechanisms, only now twisted by all those years of isolation and pain. I think he relearned what he needed to to get by but never really learned much more about socializing than what he knew at 13. And that’s the personality we’ve seen him settle into at the start of the series. He’s running on old software, he never got the update and there might also be a few bugs in the system.

He had never been in an environment where he could actually grow for any extended period of time. I do think he’s grown since then though. His siblings haven’t always reacted very well to his personality, but I think we’ve seen him open up a bit. Get more comfortable with the people he actually cares about and trusts. He’s tried to share, tried to ask for help. He’s apologized and listened and is just trying really hard. I really hope we see more of that and just get to see him finally grow and develop as a person.

[tundrainafrica]

Note: Instead of posting a meta or a fic today, allow me to take a quick break from that because I think I really need to appreciate some people here and the fandom overall.  

February 7, 2021. 

Today, I turned 24 and my boyfriend surprised me with a gift I think I’ll be taking to heart for a very long time. 

The story behind the gift was as precious (or even more precious) as the gift itself and I thought I’d share it since it turned out some content creators were involved in this gift and I very much want to express how much this gift has defined this day for me and will place my 24th birthday as one of those birthdays I don’t think I’ll ever forget. 

Apparently, I had casually dropped both my tumblr and my ao3 account during one of our conversations and somewhere around November he had started looking through my bookmarks, my posts on tumblr and some of my interactions with people in the fandom.

I should have seen it coming. It had started with my boyfriend suddenly asking about my hyperfixation with Levihan.

Sav? Shipping? Sav? Binge reading ships and meta posts? Sav? Gushing about a fictional ship?

And I remember gushing about this with my seemingly uninterested boyfriend a long night after explaining what was oddly the most out of character thing for someone like me. 

I was sharing with him my metas and hcs and maybe, I was dropping a few of my favorite quotes along the way and it turned out he was interested. Suddenly he was asking me about my favorite fics, my favorite scenes. Suddenly, he was rereading my favorite fics with me and a few times, he was quoting those same scenes. I did find out he was looking through my blog when I got a random message from a really sketchy tumblr telling me to open my facebook. 

I suspected a few times that he could be planning something. December passed with nothing and eventually he stopped asking so I clocked that as a fevered dream or unnecessary assuming on my end and didn’t think too much of it after. 

It turned out my boyfriend had messaged my favorite authors about their fics and he commissioned one of my favorite artists (if not my favorite) to draw a few photos and bound them into a Levihan Anthology 

And it feels fucking amazing to receive something like this. To get Levihan which helped me through the worst of 2020, bound forever as a book I can just open up and read anytime. And I guess tearing up at receiving such a gift had me thinking of a lot of things at once (which were always at the back of mind) but I thought of sharing now. 

The past year wasn’t easy. Actually. don’t think it’s an understatement to say this past year was dog shit. With the covid pandemic and all plans after that cancelled, I’m sure we can all agree we had our ups and downs. 

I had a lot of my own plans completely thrown out the window for numerous reasons. I had plans of going to law school part time while building a career. And, I got a job right after college to make these plans come true. In September the law school I got accepted to (after working so damn hard the past year to get accepted) denied my appeal for night classes. I decided to drop my enrollment to focus on my career. A week later, my job laid me off. 

And for once in my life, I wasn’t going anywhere. And I lived in a house where everyone was always doing something and as soon as I lost my job I was pressured to find another one. But as we all know, searching for a job during this pandemic isn’t easy. I was still reeling after having dropped my enrollment just to focus on my job only to lose that job the week after with no prior notice. Everyone around me was busy doing their own thing. I had no one to talk to and for a while, I was falling into this pit of depression. 

My days consisted of me hiding under the covers of my bed in between the few interviews I would take day to day. Around that time, I decided to binge watch Attack on Titan as well 

I was never one to get hyper fixated in ships. In fact, this was the first ship since Royai and Victuuri which I have been so passionate. And this is a whole new level of passion. I think this is the first time I’ve ever written so much in this small amount of time. It was slow going. Just like Levi and Hange’s relationship, my fixation with this ship was a slowburn. 

Those days alone, I was reading fanfiction by the bundle, I was scrolling through the Levihan tag like a simp, leaving kudos in ao3 on a throwaway account and just scrolling through random people’s tumblr accounts. 

What happened during the one month? And when I was alone, sad, lonely and stagnant with no one to talk to, when everyone around me was living their own lives, all I had alone in the bedroom was Levi and Hange’s stories to keep me company between interviews. 

And the meta analyses and headcanons I had about their relationship were teaching me things. They were teaching me that life was never about how quickly you progress or how far you go. Maybe the real winners in life are the ones who can build good relationships, build relationships so mutually satisfying they keep each other growing and in those few moments reading, headcanoning ships, I did realize, maybe even as stagnant as I was at that moment, my life wasn’t dogshit. 

No one’s life is dogshit for a few small bumps along the way. Sometimes it just is part of the process of growing, learning to get past the worse, learning to manage relationships. And maybe it’s these relationships which make life worth living. Maybe it’s these struggles depicted in these stories and the bounce back. Maybe it’s the love, the life, the emotions so carefully described and depicted in every single story which makes life, life. 

With every single fic I read and every single fan art I scrolled through. Levihan was teaching my things about love, loss and life. 

Sometimes, these fandoms are the things which can catch people before they fall too low into something. These works and stories authors and artists shared so generously were what pulled me out of this state and are what inspired me to explore this relationship for all the potential its worth and maybe share my own stories and headcanons which people may learn a thing or two from or maybe just find some comfort and hope in.  

And these inspirations eventually evolved to writing. Writing 10,000 words in a day in between three interviews? I never was a writer but somehow, I found myself spending hours exploring the themes of love, loss and life with our favorite pairing 

I didn’t start writing out of nowhere. I didn’t start making metas out of nowhere. I needed the right inspiration, the right content to get me into this point where I could continue writing, reading, meta-ing, appreciating, headcanoning and everything in between.

And I just wanted to express my gratefulness to every single person in the fandom who had made it possible for me to pull out of that blackhole. Fandoms are underrated and I believe there are so many lessons which can be learned from the right content and from the right people. 

To the people who so willingly went along with my boyfriend’s little project: 

@faerielleart​ I saved A LOT of your art and they’re sitting in my google photos under a folder called Levihan and maybe I did share a few of your photos (the cheeks one and the beast titan one and the les miserables) ones to my boyfriend unsolicited just to show him how beautiful Levihan can be. Thank you so much for these beautiful drawings.

@lizaloveslevihan​ You were one of the first people I talked with in this fandom and dreams really was one of those stories that fucked me up a little bit, had me make a few misses on the commute on the way home one day but maybe it did have me explore the angst genre a little more, maybe it did have me explore Levi’s character a little more. 

@ariadneamare​ YELLOW. OH GOD. You know those letters? The ones which Hange left Levi at the end of the story? I ended up copying and pasting them and sending them to my boyfriend right after reading and I remember talking to him about this. We might be facing that same type of story in the future and I guess that ended up becoming a lot of foundation of our discussion and I guess, it’s just proof that there is so much to learn from fanfiction. There’s just so much to explore and fanfiction as a genre just does not get the credit it deserves.

@fanmoose12​​ I was exploring your works even before I started this tumblr up again. Maybe it was even your works which got me building my own headcanons from Levihan and writing from there. And I think I did leave a few anonymous messages telling you how I started exploring other genres because of your fics. Your works got my out of my dark place, it got me exploring a lot of other genres and for that I’m eternally grateful.

And somehow, my boyfriend picked that all up from late night discussions and one-on-one metas. Surprisingly, he wasn’t just playing along to humor his girlfriend. He was exploring the themes of love, life, loss and Levihan right along with me. (And got spoiled about Hange’s death along the way… Oops.) 

And I am eternally grateful for that and I made sure to shower him with a lot of kisses after he kept me in the loop with what has been going on these past few months with his sudden interest in Levihan.

And this huge thank you goes out to all content creators (authors, artists, gif creators, shitposters alike). Sometimes you never know who’s thinking about your work, who’s shoehorning your works and quoting them to their best friends. Sometimes, you never will find out but your work had pulled someone out of a blackhole which they’ve been stuck in and sometimes you never know that your work has been that seemingly small thing that had taught them a lesson in love, life or relationships. Sometimes, that one work turned out to be an inspiration which got them writing and sharing their own stories or making their own drawings

And I guess, the point is, keep writing. Keep drawing. Keep sharing pouring your love, passion and emotions into works of art because you never really know whose heart you touched or whose life you changed.

I have a job now. I decided to push law school a few years back and maybe take the time to work on myself now and maybe spend the next months or maybe years writing metas and fanfictions. I was pulled out of my hole. I was inspired. I have my own stories to tell and I don’t think I would have been here if I hadn’t spent the last few months reading fic after fic, meta after meta, appreciating art after art, 

So anyway, I just wanted to share some pics of my favortie fics, immortalized in one anthology, all organized by my boyfriend. And I think he made some great decisions with these.

(Bookbinding credits to @mayerwien)

[carelesscreativity]

HorrorDust Freakout for Tyraxes: Commission for Ko-Fi

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

(SFW, Angst, Fluff)

Horror could tell something was wrong as soon as he arrived. He was momentarily weakened from gathering all of his starved magic for a shortcut back to Nightmare’s castle. If the giant swirling vortex of purple and red magic jutting out of the top of the castle was anything to go off of, things weren’t going well here. He could feel the raw magic, the power crackling in the air around him. In a way, it made his thinned bones ache, though it was doing nothing to affect his HP.

He had to get inside. He had to get inside and he had to get to HIM. He almost dropped his axe, the handle falling off his shoulder and almost slipping through his fingers. He caught it at the last second, shambling towards the castle doors. The blade of the axe dragged behind him, cutting through the ground, but he didn’t really care. He only had one thing in mind right then.

He shouldered open the doors, his thick frame making it easy. He had a lot of physical power for someone who’s bones looked like they would break in two. Killer was already in the common room, face twisted in worry as he stared up at the ceiling. Cross was there as well, seeming tense as he continued looking up too. The castle gave another rumble and dust rained down from the ceiling. How ironic.

Cross inhaled sharply. He’d been pacing back and forth, that stupidly long scarf of his brushing along the ground as he murmured to something no one else could see. Just like HIM. Horror furrowed his brow and continued forward, shifting his axe so the flat of the blade was being dragged along the ground. He’d been yelled at enough for tearing the carpet by dragging his weapon. “Hey, uh, I don’t think you wanna go up there right now.” Killer’s voice was in warning.

Horror twitched and glanced back at him. Killer was watching him with his empty eyesockets. “He’s not doing so hot right now.” Horror replied dryly that he could tell. His voice was raspy and strained, yet deep. He turned back and started making his way to the stairs again. He growled in frustration as Cross spoke his name next, in a much more worried, urgent tone.

“Horror!” The broken skeleton turned on the soldier with a sharp glare that made the other falter. “L-Listen, it’s REALLY bad right now. Even Boss is struggling to handle him right now. He’s been at it for almost two hours.” Cross gulped. “You’re GOING to get hurt and I don’t think...” He seemed to be trying to word what he wanted to say and Horror narrowed his eyelight at him. Killer cleared his throat, making them both jump.

He tossed his knife up and down as he sighed, sitting on the couch. “What that idiot’s tryin’ to say is that you ain’t built to take an attack like Dust’s. If he lashes out at you and the attack hits, you’d be fuckin’ dead.” Killer said bluntly. “Especially when he’s all riled up like this. He wouldn’t just dust ya, he’d fucking obliterate ya.” Horror stared at him and Killer gave a shrug. “I know you don’t like to hear that, but it’s the truth. And maybe some of us don’t want ya dead.”

Horror stared at them for a moment. Cross was avoiding his gaze and he could tell the other was thinking the same thing. That rubbed Horror the wrong way and he could practically be seen bristling. Deep down, he knew they were right. If he went up there and Dust had finally lost it enough to actually attack him, Horror would be dead in an instant. He wasn’t immortal. He wasn’t numb to pain or able to heal himself naturally.

But that didn’t mean he was weak. Horror was about to speak when the castle rumbled again. Dust screamed from above them. The sound was shrill and piercing, sounding as if it was being dragged from his throat. It was so loud that Horror could hear it clearly from downstairs and his soul twisted. He could hear everything in that noise. Fear, pain, anger and regret. Everything that made Dust who he was.

The power across the entire castle rippled, lightbulbs blowing themselves out and plunging the entire place into darkness. Horror was momentarily blinded before the secondary system came on. They were magic candles that lit themselves all across the castle. But even they were flickering under the power of Dust’s magic. Horror studied the other two in the room.

Cross had screwed his eyes shut and even Killer’s target soul faltered, seeming to lose its shape for a moment as he inhaled sharply. The scream kept going, Dust likely using all the air trapped in his nonexistent lungs. The sound seemed to shake the castle itself. Horror had to get to him. There was so much loss and grief in Dust’s voice. Horror twitched as he turned and started up the stairs.

There was the steady thump as his axe was dragged up every step. The sound finally stopped and Horror found that his hand had raised to the wound in his head. He was gripping it. He paused on the steps, his brow furrowed. He could almost imagine Dust reaching out and yanking his hand away, telling him to quit it. That he wasn’t supposed to be doing that anymore.

With that in mind, Horror managed to pull his hand away from his head, instead balling it into a fist and shoving it into his pocket. He continued to make his way up the stairs. Cross had said Nightmare was already up there, right? The boss must’ve been getting one HELL of a meal from Dust right then. Horror’s mind blanked completely and he paused in the stairs again. What was he doing?

It wasn’t until the castle gave another rumble that he remembered. He continued up, coming out onto the second floor. He could see Nightmare down the hall. He was definitely feeding, his sludge rippling. The wall in front of him had been ripped away into the vortex and Horror could faintly hear mindless babbling inside the whirlwind. It soon escalated into shrieking and Horror felt his soul twist again.

The spark of pain must’ve caught Nightmare’s attention because there was no way he would’ve heard Horror. He turned to look at the broken skeleton, seeming surprised, to say the least. He seemed to ask something, but Horror was already hyper fixated on something else. Through the sparse gaps in the whirlwind of magic, he could see HIM. He could see Dust and he began to shamble over. He wanted to see him. He wanted Dust to see him.

He dropped his axe, finally allowing the handle to fall through his fingers and hit the floor with a soft thump. He reached out towards the whirlwind with a shaking hand. He wondered if what Dust had told him that one night was true. That he would never allow his magic to hurt Horror. At worst, he figured he’d lose a hand and that was okay. It wasn’t his dominant one, so he could live without it. He blinked as a tentacle stopped him.

He looked over at Nightmare, who seemed perplexed and taken back. If anything, he probably didn’t think Horror was stupid enough to try something like that. He could barely hear the other over the roar and crackle of the magic, combined with Dust’s shrill yelling. Horror blinked and spoke in a quiet, hushed voice. He knew Nightmare would be able to tell what he was saying. “Boss, I need ya to trust me...” He managed.

Nightmare stared at him, unblinking for a moment. If Horror had the attention span to keep looking, he would’ve even thought that Nightmare was worried for him. The other finally pulled his tentacle back. He still stood close, absolutely about to step in if it didn’t work out. At this point, Horror wasn’t even sure it would. He mumbled a thank-you and turned back to the vortex. He kept stretching out his hand, shuffling a little closer.

The tips of his claw-like fingers touched the outer layers of the magic. He expected burning or sizzling. There was nothing but a faint tingling and he pushed his hand further in. He couldn’t believe it for a moment. He really didn’t. He stood there, arm halfway through the chaotic whirlwind of magic. He didn’t know what to do for a moment. There was a loud sizzling and a grumble from Nightmare as the magic sheared off the tip of his tentacle when he tried to touch the magic as well.

That meant it was only him. Dust hadn’t been kidding. Horror was momentarily awestruck and he refocused, beginning to fully push his way through. The rough part was getting his head through. The magic momentarily spilled into his skull and he was plagued with sudden visions of monsters in their last moments. Some crawling and most of them crying and begging for their lives. One of them was Papyrus, who seemed calm, still smiling as he dusted.

Horror made it into the eye of the whirlwind, red tears having erupted down his face. He stared at the trembling figure in the middle, who was shrieking and trying to explain himself to no one in particular. There were a lot of phantom monsters in the whirlwind’s walls. Horror could see them all. They were all talking at once, it seemed, but Horror didn’t hear anything but Dust. He could see red and purple magic crackling along the other’s bones.

That would be the difficult part. He could take it, but it depended on how fast he could bring Dust back. Horror wasn’t some weakling, LV.1 monster. Sure, he wasn’t LV.20 like Killer or Dust, but he had some extra HP under his belt. He wondered if Dust knew he was there already. The phantoms were all looking at Horror. Dust was shaking as he turned to face him, his body crackling and his eyes lit feverishly bright. He was breathing odd.

Horror stared at him with wide, teary eyes. “Dust?” He asked, his voice more confused than scared. Dust seemed to be struggling to focus on him. Had the other just called him Dust? Every monster around was chanting that his name was Sans. Sans, Sans, Sans. Not Dust. He furrowed his brow, his body trembling with unbridled magic for a moment. He kept forgetting that Horror was right in front of him, only to realize it all over again. Why was Horror crying? He didn’t like when Horror cried.

“H-Horror...” He managed in a wheezing, whispery voice. Horror took a step forward and Dust’s body immediately lit up, crackling in warning. “Don’t.” He inhaled shakily. The phantoms were still screaming. Papyrus was telling him to kill Horror. “H-He doesn’t have anything for us...” He tried to reason with the ghostly head, only to flinch as Papyrus’ ghoulish grin widened.

“Then he’s just in our way, brother.” Papyrus was right. Horror was in the way. Horror was the only thing keeping them back. Dust focused on him. Horror’s attention had been snagged by the phantoms again, his short attention span showing strong. He had his claw-like fingers nervously hooked together. He wasn’t scared of Dust. He was wary about everything AROUND Dust. He had his shoulders scrunched up and his eyes were wide. He was still crying. Dust didn’t like that. The hooded skeleton’s eyes were fixed on Horror’s hands.

Dust watched as his fingers unhooked and his eyes widened. He blinked as Horror reached up and began to tug at his head wound, seeming frightened. He only did that when he was overwhelmed or trying to remember something. Dust could tell which one it was. He immediately moved towards him, his body snapping into action as he ripped himself away from Papyrus, who hissed for him to come back. He couldn’t. Not when Horror was doing that. He wasn’t supposed to be doing that anymore.

Dust’s stained fingers reached out, taking Horror’s wrist and pulling his hand out of his head wound. Horror jumped and seemed to focus on him as well. “S-Sorry... keep forgettin’...” Horror mumbled quietly. Dust stared at him before seeming to realize that the voice were fading into the background. He was no longer concerned about them. He was concerned about Horror. He had his other hand on Horror’s opposite shoulder.

“You said you wouldn’t do that no more.” Dust said quietly in response, his voice a little strained, but still scolding. The phantoms had vanished from around them. Even Papyrus. Horror ducked his head, seeming slightly ashamed of himself as he apologized once more. Dust came to the realization that he was breathing heavy and his head was pounding. How much time had passed? He was becoming aware of his surroundings again. It seemed he’d blown out the entire wing of the castle.

He was brought back to attention as he felt Horror’s hand slip down into his. The broken skeleton pulled Dust’s stained hand to his cheek, twitching before weakly nuzzling into it. Dust took the opportunity to finally, FINALLY wipe away Horror’s tears. The other squirmed a litrle before pressing into his hand. He opened his eyes.

“Do ya feel better?” Horror asked, glancing up at him uncertainly. The whirlwind was already almost nonexistent. Dust stared at him before leaning forward a little. He hesitated, meeting Horror’s gaze before pressing their teeth together.

It took a moment to click in Horror’s mind, him only able to process the kiss once Dust had already pulled away. A faint heat rose to his cheeks and he ducked his head again, mumbling that that had felt nice. Dust’s fingers twitched against his cheek as he gave a quiet nod. “Did I hurt ya?” He asked, beginning to check over Horror for any signs of injury. The broken skeleton blinked and shook his head.

“Ya weren’t lyin’. Magic couldn’t hurt me.” Horror told him, seeming to give the tiniest hint of a smile. Dust felt heat rose to his own cheeks and his racing soul calmed down a bit. He didn’t know if he could live with himself if he had done anything harmful to Horror. Despite what Papyrus said, Dust didn’t see Horror being in his way as a bad thing.

They both blinked as someone cleared their throat. Nightmare was staring at them, seeming unamused. Dust became aware of just how much debris was around him as a dangling brick clattered to the floor and broke apart next to them. There was broken furniture and glass all around him. Not to mention he’d blown out the power.

Horror gave Dust’s hands a squeeze and the hooded skeleton squeezed back, only able to look around in dulled surprise. He spoke in his monotone, raspy voice. It was almost gone from screaming, but he was sure Nightmare could hear him just fine. “Hey, Boss...” He blinked and glanced back at the blown out wall in ceiling before turning back to see Nightmare’s tentacles flicking in agitation. “Guess... that was my fault, huh?”