#and then turn around and say good fight
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Natsu is so funny because he’ll beat the shit out of you especially if his family is in danger and then turn around and be like “my bad we should do this again sometime” no dude you just almost killed me.
#fairy tail#natsu dragneel#he’ll beat the shit out of you#and then turn around and say good fight#no bro#this is mainly about him vs dimaria#he really said sorry I was out of it back then and thought Lucy was dead#no wonder she left fighting behind#also him vs sting and rogue#what is his problem
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Drew a little comic today!
Viz, let Blake be a little shit to Raven in v10 and my life is yours.
Per usual, do not reupload without credit/permission. Thanks folks!
(My ko-fi, should you wish!)
#This whole page spawned from the idea of Blake as that one cat with a knife pointed at it#And real ones know that I would sell my fucking soul for Blake to tell Raven off in v10#ESPECIALLY after what we learn about Raven and Summer in v9#You're telling me Yang's NOT gonna be a bit of a mess when she's forced to be around Raven?#Plus you fucking know Raven would say some shit about how she and Blake aren't that different#“I don't care what you think of me - but you and I are more alike than you'd care to admit girl.”#Raven means that Blake leaves people she loves too#Blake decides it means its time to turn on the terrorist#That's it that's the comic#Blake would probably lose - with Raven's maiden powers and all - but she'd put up a damn good fight to prove her point#God I cannot wait to see the dynamics between Blake Yang and Raven#rwby#rwby fanart#bumbleby#blake belladonna#raven branwen#yang xiao long#temp tats art
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That “did Jonathan lie” poll proving that following subtext / non-explicit storytelling and forgetting entire canon events for the sake of headcanons is an issue across the whole entire fandom because W H A T
We literally see Steve RUN INTO JONATHAN before he WALKS OUT THE DOOR. He didn’t tell Jonathan a damn thing and they literally show us that? Plus Jonathan was already of the opinion that Steve and Nancy were happy /he had no chance because of seeing them dancing earlier + kissing at school—he was just trying to support what he THOUGHT Nancy wanted just like his brother does with Mike in S4. Be serious
#Steve and Nancy fight and then Steve storms out PAST JONATHAN#which is why Jonathan goes to check on Nancy????#if Steve asked Jonathan to do that he would have had to turn around and say something which makes NO sense#Jonathan literally went to Nancy of his own free will because he likes/cares for her#and then Steve found out secondhand and confronted her because he was hurt overall KALKZMSJNDD#GOOD LORD LMAO#also#why are people obsessed with making up shit that never happens on screen & then holding to it like it’s law j f c#the me tag#anti stancy#jancy#stranger things
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honestly as someone who has been in various fandoms for a long time now and who also watched campaigns 1 and 2 without really getting into cr fandom it isn’t Shocking but it is annoying how often people will look at the stories that cr tells and make absolute claims about the goodness of characters (goodness here meaning Moral goodness, not I Like This character and think it’s well made goodness, which is a separate post entirely). particularly regarding the gods and pc parents. and honestly like, typically in fandom i get annoyed by people bending over backwards to woobify characters who are active in their choice to be unkind and generally horrible but in the cr fandom it’s tended to be the opposite where like. a character is just. a human being (in the sense of being Average not in the sense of Fantasy Races) and huge swaths of the fandom act like that’s the most unforgivable thing someone can be. and maybe it is, but one of the most powerful things about fiction is that it tends to encourage people to expand their empathy and exercise their ability to forgive. because fictional characters, no matter how much people like to project onto them, tend not to cause anyone harm, so it’s easier to learn how to forgive and accept things you don’t understand without also villainizing them.
this is mostly prompted by the recent 4sd and the fact that matt’s response to what’s up with the dawnfather was a very insistent “He’s not bad!” and also seeing the online reaction to the mention that the matron would punish vax for saving keyleth that has taken the as usual completely bonkers tune that the raven queen (Who When Met With A Brother Asking A God To Kill Him In Favour Of His Sister, Gave Him A Job, and Later Extended His Natural Life To Help Protect The World And Have More Time With His Family And Allowed Him To Visit His Sister On Her Wedding Day) is a horrible evil abusive bitch of a god. like. can we grow up? can we understand the world and fiction that represents the multitudes of experiences found in it in shades of grey? is that too much to ask (i know it is).
but also specifically the like Extremely Adamant way that both matt and laura were like no no no no relvin isn’t Horirble he’s average. he’s not good he’s just. he’s A father, not a good or bad one. and on the surface it’s hilarious that they’re both so like. enthused to point out that he’s Average because typically when people respond to a claim of a characters badness with the level of immediacy they both did it’s a rebuttal of “no, this character is good actually.” but it was just to affirm that relvin did harm imogen, but not because there’s some aspect of his character that is inherently cruel or especially Bad. and like. yeah actually. yeah you should react like that to a claim that this average person who Has hurt someone, the way that nearly every single person has hurt someone in a way they cannot repair, with immediacy to say this person is a Person and thus imperfect and capable of great harm, but that isn’t some all encompassing judgment on their morality or capability to also do good or be fine.
anyway this is kinda just a rant post but also is just me saying i’m very grateful that when surrounded by a fandom that tends to paint characters as Good or Bad and even while using a game that can encourage that with its alignment system, cr has always told stories that see goodness as a persistent choice that might sometimes falter and that can be chosen even after a lifetime of Badness. i can’t remember exactly what the quote was so forgive me if it’s incorrect but when jester is talking to caleb after he claims he’s not a very good person and she says “good people do bad things sometimes. even bad people do good things.” that’s it! that’s one of the most consistent themes across campaigns. and yet.
#on fandom#cr tag#i just. maybe it’s the philosophy major in me but. good grief the shit some of y’all say about morality and then turn around and ignore#what you’ve just said. good grief#lately it’s specifically been the people who support liliana (i too love evil women) and act like she tripped and fell into her current#position. and then turn around and call relvin an abusive devil#like. sorry which one has been manipulating imogen. which one abonded her?#that’s besides the point. my point is. the words good and bad are meaningless.#the good placeism. is this character trying to be better today than they were yesterday#this is the imogen temult problem actually. like yes she Chooses to be good. but that is only a choice because we have Seen her be selfish#and cruel and manipulative. if i had to choose to call imogen good or bad i’d of course choose good. but that undermines so much of#what makes her ‘goodness’ actually compelling.#honestly same with fjord. like his character as a charismatic paladin who fights for Good™ is comtextualised by having seen his journey#like. otherwise he’d be boring.#like. if any cr main character was just Good or just Bad. i promise it would not be as popular as it is#critical role
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“why would elaena marry a dornishman when they’re nasty evil people who murdered her poor innocent brother daeron”
maybe because once elaena grew up she realized that there were better ways of bringing dorne into the realm than violent conquest, and that daeron got the death he deserved from not just a nobility that is valid for fearing subjugation from valyria but also a smallfolk sick and tired of these people showing up every few decades to set their principality on fire, and put aside any anti dornish sentiments she may or may not have harbored as a child to see the way her family had directly attributed to their suffering, eventually even falling in love with and marrying a dornish man??
also, considering daeron ii attempts a type of proto-reparations act in bringing dorne into the kingdom, it’s not out of the realm of possibility that someone as intelligent as elaena would recognize the inherent racism in the targaryen conquest of dorne and especially considering the very loud anti-dornish, deeply anti intellectual faction in the blackfyre rebellions, realized they wouldn’t be kind or understanding of an intelligent woman like herself and had no interest in herself or her daughters (of which she had four!!) getting shoved back into the maidenvault again?
like, daeron i is on some andrew jackson manifest destiny shit, and if it makes me an asshole for thinking “god i wish someone had merked jackson before he genocided & displaced my ancestors, good on the dornish for realizing you can’t negotiate with imperialists” than i am perfectly comfortable being considered an asshole right next to my girl elaena.
#everyone discoursing about the young dragon. listen. they should have tortured him before they killed him too.#anti daeron i targaryen#valyrianscrolls#anti house targaryen#idk just in case. clearly i’m not anti everyone i’m complimenting elaena & daeron ii#elaena targaryen#daeron the good#daeron ii targaryen#getting on my soap box#dorne#also when i say ‘my ancestors’ i mean that jackson passed the indian removal act specifically to remove my tribe (and several others) bc#white people in the midwest didn’t like that we wouldn’t leave.#my tribe managed to work somethjng out and only had to move a couple miles away from our homelands. others in our area were forcibly mkced#*moved. look up the potawatomi trail of death. they marched them thru illinois’ capital. dozens including children died.#also read about the fort dearborn massacre. and rising up from indian country which makes the argument that it wasn’t a massacre#but a battle bc white americans had been raiding potawatomi villages for weeks. so the potawatomi struck back and people to this day insist#it was a massacre just bc the potawatomi were better at fighting than the americans. nah.#u don’t get to wage a war of conquest on an innocent and indigenous population just to turn around and say they were mean for fighting back.#i’m sorry i woke up today and decided to choose violence. i’m in an awful mood aksjdjd
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cannot stop thinking about lupa and juno's reactions to jason's death. god did juno feel it when he died? did she hear his string get cut? did she wail loud enough that all of olympus heard it? what was it like realizing the boy she loved like a son was dead? was was it like watching his father not even shed a tear? was she the one to tell lupa? and on lupa's end, how angry do you think she was? this is her pup. her youngest pup. he was so young when he first started, when juno first gave him to her? he learned how to roughhouse with her packmates. he learned to fly with her! did she snap at juno? did she scream and curse and blame juno? did she howl mournfully?
#these are his moms!!!#not very good ones but his moms nonetheless!!#when he fought krios do you think he heard their voices in his head encouraging him#'victory or death jason' lupa says in head 'die like a roman or don't die at all.' jason picks up his sword again.#krios knock his sword out of his hand and jason bares his teeth. that's okay. he doesn't nned a weapon to fight#he wrestles krios to the floor and the titan's throat is bared and it would quick and simple to rip it out but he hesitates.#normal people dont do that. his head pounds. his lady's voice exhoes in his head 'go for the kill always my champion.'#jason leans down and clamps his teeth around krios' throat and rips it out. the titans gasps pathetically underneath him#it's not enough. he can already see the wound beginning to heal so he digs his fingers into the wound and starts pulling#the neck rips quickly once he gets started and he snaps the spine as he goes. finally with one last tug the head comes clean off.#he stands up from where he's kneeling over the body and picks up the head by its hair turning around to face the legion.#there is ichor staining his mouth golden. it drips onto his armor. he lifts the head up high. the legions stares at him in shock and awe.#they look terrified he notes absently. 'VICTORY FOR ROME!' he shouts and the campers explode into loud cheering.#sorry what the fuck was that#jason grace#juno pjo#lupa pjo#hoo#hera pjo
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I’m trying not to be a hater but that tiktok and comment section pissed me off so bad.
#the way the fics end in Bruce saying sorry and everyone coddling tim and tims like ‘well I was just a placeholder 🥺’#the fun part about tim is that he made grown ass decisions at a little ass age that literally everyone told him would turn out bad#and then it turned out bad and he knows he dug his own grave so he just has to pretty it up as best as he can#and if he could go back in time he would do that shit again BECAUSE HE LIKES IT! BECAUSE ITS EXCITING! BECAUSE HE WANTED TO BE ROBIN#that Robin is a job shit is a lie he told himself that literally nobody around but YALL the stupid ass audience believed#that’s like the crux of him I think#lying to himself to get the job done because he can’t let his emotions get in the way but unfortunately that’s not how it works#and when he realizes that he gets pissed at everyone else for not letting it work and himself for not making it work#he somehow thinks that he can remove this attitude as tim Drake when Robin is the crutch tim Drake leans on in adulthood#which is an issue because now everyone around him is moving and he’s still stuck at 14 knocking on dicks door and hoping that he’ll have to#make use of the suit he brought with him. not because he’s excited or anything but just in case#his friends and family died and came back Gotham gets destroyed every other day and rebuilt every other week everything keeps changing but#nothing is and he’s stuck in that cycle and maybe it’s his fault for not letting things rest but he refuses to accept that because he’s GOOD#as Robin he does excellent work and always has and nothing will change that not even a new Robin. his friends are all making names for#themselves and he’s still stuck under Bruce’s cape fighting a teenager to be robin.#THATS whats fun about tim#the writing is stuck rn I’ll give u that but the next move should be an acknowledgment of that#tim doesn’t wanna peak in high school so he has to move on but he doesn’t know how and matter of fact doesn’t know why! nothings been this#permanent before (<-LYING!)#but no whatever everyone hates him realizes they’re wrong and he leaves Gotham bc he deserves better but comes back bc he’s so nice. ok.
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So you know this party banter between Aveline and Carver?
Aveline: I don't like some of the people you've been associating with, Carver. Carver: Talk to my brother/sister. He/She's the one in charge.
If you're on the rivalry path with Aveline, she says:
Aveline: Who says I don't mean him/her too? This city's full of people who are dead set on ending badly. I don't want to see you end up the same way.
I just- Aveline, you- you're so- hhhhnnnngggggg
I always rival Aveline when I play a mage, and if you think Edgar Aristide Hawke, who practically raised Carver and Bethany after Malcolm died and Leandra became a distant mother in her grief, wouldn't stop dead in his tracks at Aveline heavily implying he's a bad influence on his brother and Carver shouldn't hang around him so much since apparently Ed's someone set on ending badly...? Absolutely not.
This is another case of me wishing Hawke had the option to jump in during party banter with different options, because Ed would've chewed Aveline out for that.
Oh, and then there's:
Carver: Would asking you to stop spying on me help in the least? Aveline: No.
Aveline...................stop it.
#da2#dragon age 2#carver hawke#aveline vallen#da2 hawke#edgar hawke#listen all of aveline and carver's party banter and their relationship and the fact that they're pretty much foils DRIVES ME CRAZY#in a good way but then i get party banter like this and i stop everything i'm doing just to scream#like ed and aveline are on fairly good terms in act 1 i mean the rivalry is there but it's not too bad it's more like they just butt heads#but after leandra's death the friendship just rots and deteriorates like by the end of act 3 ed is genuinely surprised aveline#didn't turn on him and side with the templars but i guess even aveline knows what's actually right#or maybe she just doesn't want to face ed in a fight sksksks hell ed AND carver in a fight so it's easier to side with him and the mages#but anyway aveline saying that when ed's in earshot is bold but also the fact that carver doesn't actually acknowledge it#like he doesn't agree or disagree he just changes the subject to be like 'can you stop spying on me PLEASE'#like he already has no privacy while living with gamlen and now he has no privacy when he's by himself because apparently aveline's spying#also i always max out carver's friendship so he and ed are on good terms they're the brothers hawke and carver loves him#even if he doesn't outright say it you know that's what he's really saying in the last straw#when he says that he's proud to call hawke brother/sister and that's gone unsaid for too long like............ screaming sobbing throwing u#like the carver and hawke dynamic on his friendship path is sooo good that i hear aveline say that and i'm immediately ready to throw hands#btw if you're on aveline's friendship path she says 'maybe but i know you get around' instead which...........gets around where aveline???#aveline my list of beef with you grows with every playthrough i hate you but also i love you but also i want to throw you in the ocean#until you get your head out of your ass like this is a case of her being a FASCINATING character but as a person? while i'm playing ed? ugh#my lady warrior hawke adored aveline but ed is ready to fight her 24/7 sksksk
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GODDD.
#marzivents#to preface. i am SLIGHTLY buzzed. as in i have had a single mimosa almost an hour ago#today there has been a… weird??? energy with the family??#my mom and dad are on two different frequencies today but like they’re managing so whatever#my brother and i have been normal i suppose#but we’ve been all together for a little bit to celebrate the new uear and such#clock hits 12. we celebrate. everybody has One mimosa. not a lot at all#that buzz hits me and i’m hanging out. i’m feeling good!#my brother says something or other and we start the motions of one of our go-to sibling disagreements you know the type#and my mother cuts me off says like ‘let’s all relax’ or whatever. i didn’t feel that angry but like?? sure? fine whatever#we stop and i move on. once again not a huge deal to me#then my dad does smth or other. my mom’s been razzing him all day so i decide alright i will also razz him. a little lighthearted teasing#it is NOTHING different from what i normally do. just slightly more frequent#and my dad goes ‘i can’t have an opinion on anything huh?’ and i- committed to the bit- go ‘no <3’ with a smile on my face#like i am simply wanting to fuck around!! the way you do with friends! that is all i am doing!#i get in some other thing with my brother for like .2 seconds before my mom tells us to ‘stop fighting’ again. alright cool#this sort of thing continues. and the air in the room becomes super tense for some goddamn reason???#eventually my dad heads to the garage and my brother follows. while they’re gone my mom tells me i need to cool it and i’m being aggressive#i???? huh???? what???#i was gonna turn to HER and crack a joke like ‘how do you get them to understand that loud doesn’t mean angry?’#because that’s an issue SHE has all the damn time! i was gonna turn to her and bond! but she says that before i can even start to#so my attempt to ease the remaining tension in the room is dead on arrival. in fact the room is even TENSER#maybe it was the champagne or smth but it just fucking got to me. i shut up and turn away and start trying to collect myself#i’m realizing two things. 1- my emotions are less in my control right now and i cannot collect myself here. 2- I Need To Fucking Scream#so i silently pack up and head to my room. my mom knows better and asks no questions#as i was typing this post my brother walks in. i shoo him out without words but he tries to ask questions so i just repeat until he gets it#i feel fucking insane. what the fuck did i DO???? i literally was just fucking razzing. i do that all the time#and sure. i was louder. and yeah it was probably slightly more razzing than i normally would. but i DO NOT FUCKING GET how those two things#would cause as MUCH of a reaction as they did!!! like. i . hello???#the rest is in the replies bc i am out of tags but i am not out of feelings
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Inept 8 year old boy dragon tries to save floating island is such a concept
#momo just tell him!!! you've done this before!!! yeahhh#'this roof ain't big enough for the both of us'#luffy just telling momo to throw him something too akdhakaj this is back to how he was with koby but it worked so...#just grow some balls man!!! if he can spit something so can you!! BITE HIM!!! AHEKAHQK HE DID IT!!!! YEAHHH!!!!#he drew blood omg.... hell yes..... just be careful he doesn't bite back#luffy's exposure therapy is so effective. worlds greatest psychologist i have been saying this.#also nekomamushi and inuarashi better not die. i am also saying this.#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1050#me as baby chopper crying. actually and for real.#i don't have any points to prove for this but sanji and zoro look married in wano. idk man. i can just feel it.#i remember several episodes ago i was complaining about the missmatch of the colors on luffy.... i forgor why the band is purple.... qjwjaj#the music.... slay#i might be getting the luffy worms again i feel so insane..... what do you mean the sky parted.... omg neko and inu.... KICK THEIR ASSES!!!!#luffy fighting kaido and he still has time to boss momo and yamato around ajdbaks and roast him too lmao#momo thinking about kinemon and kiku....#PEROSPERO AND JACK FINALLY!!!!!!!!! carrot omg..... pedro avenged ✔️ now fucking orichi.... how many heads does he have left.....#why is luffy turning supersayian aldjaksn#episode 1051#just saw trafalgay written on a comment and idk if its on purpose or a misspelling but thags so funny akshaksjaka#yamato and momo father-son bonding time <3 teaching him how to be a dragon... so sweet#also the race of people that could set themselves on fire on mariejoa??? kinda random dropping it in there but alas... ✍️✍️#zoro didn't want franky to help but there he goes.... out of onigashima... a good franky fart would have prevented that...#petition to rename coup de burst to franky fart. like why is it even in french. he is A YANKEE.#episode 1052#boy dragon sounds like boy genius. who wants to join my band
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when you're not that big of a fan of a movie on your first watch but then you keep thinking about it so now you've rewatched it a couple times and you've started to enjoy it a lot more
#txt#this is about fist fight 2017#not much for comedy movies on account of them trying too hard to be funny so it turns around to being terribly unfunny#but there's good moments in fist fight . and maybe im only saying this bc charlie day is in it
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I am. So so scared about that they're doing with Tory this season lol.
#⚡ ooc. ── ❝ 𝘖𝘩 𝘯𝘰 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘔𝘢𝘳𝘪. ❞#the thing is I do like a good corruption arc but she has already made so much progress and EARNED her face turn yknow?#it took her three whole seasons of changing and wanting to be a better person to get there. *that* didn't come out of nowhere.#and it wasn't just an act of necessity to get rid of silver and kim that is tory being who she is instead of this front of forced toughness#my mixed feelings mostly come from how absolutely convoluted some things are around her return to kreese#like for one I will say they did pick the only circumstance in which I could see breaking her enough to go back (her mom d*ing)#that is literally the ONLY thing that could have worked and been believable for me to put her in that headspace#where she's so desperate just to make sense of the world again that she's susceptible to kreese's influence again#I don't have a problem with THAT aspect. I like how that was done in the vacuum of things and that part is what works for me.#what I don't like is everything happening *around* that situation and there being some glaring things that have to be overlooked#to make it happen exactly as it did#for starters it makes no fucking sense to me at all that no one went to physically check on Tory when she ghosted everyone#and then NOBODY checked on her after that fight when something was clearly wrong with her???? absolutely not.#the only explanation that would make sense for me is that she ran away and went where no one could find her#but the show didn't give us anything like that. they just skipped time so they could have her turn be more shocking.#and I hated that so so so much#also the other major plothole for me is tory willingly working with kim again#kim is to her what silver is to daniel so I don't think even under this extreme mental duress that she would go back#bc kim literally traumatized her#she would go back to kreese yeah. I could believe that. but there is no way she wants to be around kim *at all*#that would be like having daniel forgive silver and go back to him just because he teaches good karate#I have feelings and obvs I'm gonna wait and see how this plays out but I'm genuinely worried#especially after seeing some stuff in the trailers / released screencaps that have me concerned about where they're taking it#which I won't talk about in this post bc potential spoilers but uh. I definitely have strong feelings about a couple of things.
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Hearing even the """leftist"""" english people talk about Malvinas makes me wanna throw up actually
You are not leftists, you are just colonization supporters who did a wacky paint job to show clean walls to the world
#how is your brain so rotten that you call yourself a leftist and then turn around and talk so lightly about this#and you don't even care what argentinians say about it like maybe listen to us for once#like really most people seem to only support decolonization in very specific cases and they feel so good about it too...#you're not fighting colonialism sweetheart you are it's healthy child
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FINALLY started titanfall 2, the movement will take a little getting used to but i'm pleased to find it's way easier to pull off than i thought it would be, the ghost runner is so helpful and i like the game's clever ways of giving you Cool Badass Moments very organically.
#ignore me#i'm very early in - sewage treatment plant section pre-cain fight#i got swarmed by the ticks and megaexploded for the first time and went 'ooo this is gonna be annoying. im gonna stop for a bit'#i'm having a bit of trouble orienting myself and keeping track of my surroundings but that's how i am in Every Game i get lost super easy#and the very minimal hud/quest tracker is nice and unobtrusive but also aids me in getting lost a bit#not too much though! i get turned around a little and then i figure it out#they're good at signposting your path pretty clearly with lighting & such so i can get back on track easy#a lot of the weapons feel VERY good to use too#probably my favorite moment so far is coming back from grabbing the first battery to find the imc guys around bt#and theyre talking about scrapping and selling him and i was sneaking up stealthy#and one of them says something like 'you'll say something different when the pilot has a gun to your head'#and i was like aha! my cue! and promptly landed a headshot on All Of Them in sequence which felt SO GOOD#so my review is 10000/10 good fucking game i'm bad at it but it's great#for context i have always been hesitant about platformers/games that require you to Be Creative about Movement#bc i was traumatized in my early years by fancy pants adventure 2 NO IM NOT KIDDING#I NEVER FIGURED OUT WALL JUMPS AND I FELT BAD ABOUT IT FOR AGES AND I DO STILL THINK ABOUT IT AND GET SAD
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really wish there was a tag that separated “I’m having Big Angry and/or Angsty Opinions about Star Wars” from “I’m goofing off with Star Wars I’m playing in the sandbox none of this is real so yes I will make my blorbo and this random glub shitto go on an adventure that makes no logical sense” posts because there’s too much of the former and not enough of the latter for my current mental state
#starlight personal#the good news is that I finally have another ketamine appt scheduled and it’s sooner than I thought they’d have an opening#the bad news is that the appointment is not tomorrow and we’re kinda at the end of my mental-emotional rope#now kids this is what we call: an inherent flaw in my treatment plan that cannot be removed#because pretty much in an ideal world I’d have ketamine appointments every 6 weeks but 1) expensive and probs can’t afford that#2) they don’t have enough availability for that to be realistic 3) can’t take off of work THAT frequently without consequences#4) I would probably start to doubt reality if I was tripping that frequently 5) I don’t think docs would allow it#treatment resistant depression and anxiety my beloathed if we could just chill that’d be great#treatment resistant PMDD my other beloathed someday I will do my damnedest to cut you out of my body#idk not to be too selfpitying on main but god it fucking sucks that I appear to be doomed to another cycle based mood thing#PMDD means I get two good weeks two bad weeks#ketamine being the only effective treatment for whatever my brain’s got going on means two good months followed by x bad months#until my next appointment#which like! two good months is better than no good months I am grateful that something helps#I just wish it was a more convenient help and it could be applied more consistently than my psych office provides#also wish I didn’t have to call them 3 times to get it scheduled but it is what it is#also also wish that I had fewer of the physical side effects of my anxiety and wouldn’t wake up puking the min things are rough#this is all to say: I want silly SW headcanons and droid headcanons and silly fic ideas and not Everyone is Always Suffering#but I’m also too lazy (I.e brain cannot make decisions rn) to search for new tags that may give me more silly#which means time to browse my bookmarks for good good comfort fics I have saved I suppose#(this is lowkey why i want to physically fight everyone i know who’s like ‘yeah meds would help but idk :/‘ like!!!!!!!!#bro it’s a privilege to have access to meds and it’s a privilege to have a body that doesn’t turn on you the min you take one!!!!#just try 10mg of zoloft I would kill for 10mg of zoloft to not make me entirely incapable of functioning!!!)#I don’t mean that - you have a right to take or not take medication and everyone’s reasons may be their own#I just had my body and have some rough feelings around treating my issues being so expensive and inconvenient#and then feeling guilty b/c I know I’m lucky that I can afford it and can take off of work for it when I need to#like I am pretty lucky to have something that works and to have a care team that helped me get here#so I don’t wanna be ungrateful or unappreciative of my own luck in this and the work that went into getting here#I’d just also like it if I could change the circumstances slightly#make treatment on the weekends an option - get my psych office to have more than 2 trip sitters so scheduling isn’t so bad
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the results of that "is fanfic a book" poll have shown me one thing and its that this site never graduated past that absolutely insufferable phase in 2013 where everyone acted like every book is the single most sacred thing on earth
#sorry rant incoming. you know like the people who got way too offended over dog earing or carving books for art or things like that?#that's what the notes section of that poll feel like. just way too many people (on both sides) putting way too much importance on Books.#like first you have the 'um ive read fanfic that was deep and beautiful and thematic so yes all fanfic is books' votes#which like. ok. ive also read really deep thematic screenplays but that doesnt make it a book its simply not. what a book is#then you have the honestly even worse 'um your reylo au isn't like the works of the masters its not REAL BOOKS' crowd#which like. yeah most actual published books are not as good as the 'works of the masters' whatever that means. so you have proven nothing#which brings us back to the absolute worst of all 'colleen hoover & co aren't books either' SOMEHOW#like. ok well i think her work is pretty bad but it was literally edited and published into literal books so#if you're going to decide that you get to be the arbiter of what books are Good Enough to count as Real Books well you've lost already.#because no that's not how any of this works. youre fighting one of the most famous Losing Battles in all of art discourse.#a book is just. a format that writing can be in its not some holy status you have to work to acheive#and to try and turn it into that is really stupid and self important i think because like again#who gets to decide what books are Real? what motivates them to make that choice? what biases are benefited from that?#i think its worth noting in conversations like this everyone wants to deny female romance authors the title of Real Book#(which yes a lot of those books are very shallow or badly written. many have outright offensive tropes)#but nobody mentions the equally shallow and offensive stuff by/for men. like william johnstone's shitty cowboy books for example.#no matter how you try to frame it youre going to lose the second you decide something has to fit your standards to be real art.#avpost#its very reminiscent for me of the conversation around modern art where people just want to say they know what is and isn't real art#based on like whatever standards they want. 'ugh its just dots it's not real art'. do u see where im coming from.#a book is just. a piece of writing that was edited and published in the form of a physical book. that's it. its a v literal if vague noun.#it can be something with a lot of depth and meaning. it can be shallow and hacky. it can be nonfiction entirely. its not a value statement#which can also be said about art as a whole some of it is very shallow and bad. some of it is extremely skilled and profound#anyway. no fanfic isn't inherently books but some fanfics have undergone editing & publishing and became books i think#and that doesnt mean that they're 'as good as' the classics by really skilled writers. but theyre still books#tbh a lot of the published fanfic books are worse than most nonbook fanfic. them being books isnt a statement of being more valuable.#its just a literal fact.#i think its interesting to discuss but i swear its not a huge deal whether fanfic is books the bigger deal to me is#the weird attitude popping up on both sides. which i think most people would also find stupid if their brains hadnt been like#totally ruined by an uninterrupted 5 years of insufferable-on-all-sides fanfic discourse that has ruled this website.
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