happyhell

[queencvbra]

I am. So so scared about that they're doing with Tory this season lol.

[volklana]

I Gave You All

Title Comes From This Song:

Request from @whitedarkmoonflower :

Hi! I hope you are doing well? I love your Sihtric fics, they are so full of life and emotions, and so naturally flowing. 💖💖💖

I'm struggling a bit myself and I really, really need something angsty with my beloved Sihtric. Would you consider writing something where he's getting home from a battle and some rumors reach him that his wife hasn't been faithful to him?

And when he gets back he sees something that makes him believe these rumors, but it has some innocent explanation, he just doesn't want to listen and he's angry and accusative and pushes her away and she leaves upset for his mistrust and not letting her explain. And they both are heartbroken.

And then he finds out that nothing was actually as he thought and he desperately wants her back. The ending is up to you. I'm fine with everything.

Warnings: Mention of the word whore in a derogatory manner.

A/N : I really hope that I did your idea justice and hopefully this brings you some comfort sweetheart xxx

Blood dripped down Sihtric’s face and fell warm and sticky onto his forearm although he could not tell if it was his own or some fallen Dane’s just yet.

He was trying to force the air into his battle drunk lungs, chest rising and falling rapidly as sound began to flood his senses once more, and the vague recognition that someone was calling his name pulled him back to where he stood beaten and sore on the bloody battle field.

Finan was before him in an instant, worried eyes searching his face before he was pulled flush against his friend’s chest as he repeated "Thank god. Oh thank god.”

It was true, Sihtric had come but a hair’s width away from death, he had slipped and gone down, forcing him to fight for his life as blow after blow pummeled down on top of him and only by the grace of the gods, his opponent had slipped on blood or mud, it didn’t matter but Sihtric had managed to scramble the upper hand and fought tooth and nail before managing to wrangle his dagger free and drove it up under the jaw of his opponent and watched the light leave his eyes.

Finan grasped Sihtric by the face with both hands.

“What happened?” he demanded and Sihtric swallowed thickly.

“He said her name,” he rasped horsley, “He said her name and it threw me off center.”

Finan looked puzzled for a moment before Sihtric continued “He says that she is a whore and there is another man humping my wife.” 

His stomach twisted and he was hurling all its contents upon the ground as Finan ran a worried hand through his hair.

Sihtric rode in silence. Just this morning his heart had been pining for you. He had imagined the softness of your hands against his hardened skin, the swell of your breast when you reached up to wrap your arms around him and the comfort of your embrace, but now he felt shame and rage at having left you for so long that you would go looking for solace in the arms of another man.

Beocca had added salt to his wounds when he teased “I hear your wife has returned to her old profession,” and after a pause he added “Humping for coin,” as if Sihtric wasn’t all too familiar with what your old profession was.

He had drawn out to strike the priest but Uhtred had intervened before any of his blows could land.

It was no secret that Sihtric had married an alehouse whore, but nobody had ever seen the broken woman that Sihtric had fallen in love with. The one who cried at his tenderness. The one who begged him to return to her time and time again. The one who begged him to take her away from the alehouse where men could pay to hurt her and own her body for the night, and the one who had shown him nothing but love and acceptance and faithfulness from the moment he made her his wife. You had never wanted that life for yourself and Sihtric was the only man to ever see you beyond a quick hump, and he was certain you were the only person in the world who had ever seen him for who he truly was. Would you really have returned to that world willingly? The logical parts of Sihtric’s brain wanted to dismiss the rumours, but the seeds of doubt had been sown and now he felt hollow. 

They stopped for the night to allow the horses to rest and Finan arrived back to the table with a round of ales. 

“Sihtric, she has never so much as looked at another man in the years since you wed,” Uhtred tried to reassure but he knew his words were falling on deaf ears, despite Osferth and Finan’s agreement. 

Sihtric merely sat sullen, staring at his drink.

“Where is the Sihtric who begged me to allow him to marry his love? He would not have crumbled now by the words of a few others.”

“It is different now,” Sihtric sighed, taking a long gulp of his ale.

“Sihtric,” Finan tried softly “I have never seen y/n look at anyone the way she looks at you. It is like you are the only person that matters in any room she is in, and you know this. You don’t want to listen to us now but I know that you know this.”

Sihtric’s heart fluttered because he wanted to believe Finan, he wanted to believe you, but deep inside he had always carried a burning fear that he was never enough for you.

He had enough of Uhtred and Finan trying to placate him, so with his drink in hand he made his way toward the one person he believed would be honest with him, Beocca.

“Sihtric,” he sighed “I said what I said in jest. To tease. I don’t believe a word of it so I assumed you would not either.”

“I need to know what’s being said,” Sihtric sighed, collapsing down opposite him and Beocca eyed him suspiciously.

“What good will it do to listen to idle gossip?” 

“I need to know!” Sihtric urged.

Beocca sighed a long, drawn out sigh before he nodded and began, “She has been seen with the blacksmith's son.”

“Where?” Sihtric demanded, and Beocca took an intake of break.

“Both going into his quarters and- and in your home.”

Sihtric looked crestfallen and then absolutely furious, as he contemplated that you might have had another man in the home he had provided for you.

“I do believe that there is a reasonable explanation,” Beocca offered and Sihtric spat, “Yes, that my wife is a whore.” 

The ride back to Winchester usually filled Sihtric’s heart with excitement but this time he wished the ride would never end. 

His heart was broken, so much so that last night he felt like he would die, silent tears and violent sobs wracked him in the room he shared with Finan but if the Irishman heard he at least pretended that he didn’t, and for this Sihtric was grateful.

Usually, Sihtric would be stopping and swooping to pick up every wild flower that he deemed perfect to put into the bouquet he would present sheepishly to you when he swooped you up into his arms- but not today.

He paused at the door, not ready to face the storm that was waiting inside, but then his heart sank to his toes, pressing his ear to the door he could hear you laughing softly inside. 

He pressed his forehead against the cool wood of the door, his palms resting against the rough grain either side of his head and he shook, listening to your beautiful voice inside blissfully unaware that he was coming in to blow your whole life apart and then red hot fury overtook him when he heard the voice of a man. He turned on his heel and made his way to the alehouse where he drank until he was almost stupid and by the time he returned home the sun had set and his home was silent. 

“Sihtric!” you exclaimed voice full of surprise and joy as you ran to greet him,throwing your arms around him and placing a kiss against his temple, glee slowly slipping from your expression as he went rigid in your arms, and refused to kiss you back, and the unmistakable scent of ale filled your senses.

“What is it my love? Are you hurt?” you asked slowly, taking a step back to examine his hardened expression.

“Is it true?” he asked, face and voice devoid of any emotion “You and the blacksmith’s son, is it true?”

“The blacksmith’s son?” you questioned as your heart began to thump in your chest. 

“Is it true that after everything I have given you, you are humping the blacksmith's son for coin, here, under my roof. The very roof I put over your head.”

“Sihtric,” you cried, taking a step toward him, only to have him step away from you, “Months…Months you’ve been gone. Leaving me here alone and this is what you return and accuse me of? This is your opinion of me?”

“It is what half the men believe. You have been seen. I cannot  believe that if you were to return to your old ways, you would do so with such little care for me, for us.”

“Return to my old ways?” you shrieked “Because no matter what fine dresses I wear, or how much I show you that I love you and only you, underneath it all I will only ever be an alehouse whore to you is it?” 

“I took you from that life,” Sihtric spat, “I gave you everything, all I asked in return was that you loved me, that you kept your vows to me.”

“And I have,” you cried but he refused to meet your gaze so you turned on your heel, and began rummaging through a cupboard in the kitchen before returning with a leather pouch, in your shaking hands.

“You wanted to know what I was doing with Eadwyn, here. I wanted it to be a surprise,” tears were in your eyes as you thrusted the pouch into his hands “I had it made so that you would always have a piece of us wherever you went, but now…now it is tainted.” 

Sihtric opened the pouch to find a silver dagger inside, the blade was forged in steel with a sharp, tapering edge, that almost gleamed in the light. The hilt of the dagger was inlaid with intricate, interwoven patterns and embedded in the decorative pommel was a red gem that Sihtric would have recognised anywhere. It had been his wedding present to you, a beautiful necklace that you had worn on the day you made your vows.

Sihtric’s eyes were glazed with tears as he looked at you trying to form words but coming up short. 

“How did you afford this?” he gasped, and you laughed spitefully.

“I did not hump him,” you spat. “You want to know why he has been coming here at night? In exchange for him making this for you, I have been teaching him to read. He comes here after working in the forge all day and I teach him to read. He wishes to be a commander in Alfred’s fleet, and the king will not allow anyone unable to read to do so.”

“Y/n?” he cried mismatched eyes searching your own ones desperately.

But you put your hands up to prevent him taking another step towards you.

“You think you saved me, Sihtric Kjartansson? But I chose you. You think you were the first to profess love to me? To wish to take my hand in marriage, you were not. But. I. Chose. You. I gave you all. All the best parts of me. All the parts I saved only for you, because I loved you, I wanted to be loved by you, but now you have ripped my heart out and I have nothing left to give you.”

He tried to take another step toward you but you ducked past him storming out the door and slamming it closed behind you. 

It was well past midnight when you found yourself pounding on the door of the nunnery, tears streaming down your face, as Hild scooped you into your embrace and pulled you to her in an all encompassing hug.

You cried yourself to sleep on the tiny straw bed and it felt like a darkness had swallowed you whole. 

For weeks now Sihtric had been going out of his mind. Weight was dropping from his bones because he simply could not eat. Sleep was a concept he simply could not remember and despite never having felt so drained in all his life he could not rest.

Finan and Uhtred had tried their best to pull him from his sadness but he simply could not speak. He had completely retreated within, somewhere that his friends could not find him and pluck him from.

Osferth would never tell his friends this but there was a night where he physically held Sihtric in his arms after he arrived to find him crumpled over in pain on the floor. He was falling apart without you and it was all his own doing.

He didn’t even give you the chance to explain.

He had already made his mind up before he even asked you for an explanation.

And he would never forget the wild look in your eyes as you fell out of love with him.

Osferth burst into the alehouse where Sihtric was sipping on a tankard of ale with Finan and Uhtred, a piece of parchment in hand.

“She is with Hild,” he announced and Sihtric was rising quicker than a bolt of lightning, “Ready the horses,” he commanded and his friends were also springing into action.

Hild stood firm, arms folded across her chest, refusing to move aside and Sihtric rounded on her tears pooling in his eyes “Please. Please Hild I have to try make this right. I have to try.”

She reluctantly moved aside and sighed “She is in the orchard.”

Sihtric spotted you before you saw him, you looked utterly worn out. The skin around your eyes was red from crying and his stomach churned with the guilt that he had put the tears in your eyes. 

“Y/n,” he tried weakly and you dropped the apron of apples you had gathered in shock, face contorting in pain when you saw him before you.

“How can I ever begin to make up for this y/n?” he begged and you shook your head as a single tear slipped down your cheek.

“I don’t think you can Sihtric,” you cried and he gasped a sob.

“Don’t say that. Please don’t say that.”

“Can’t you see what you’ve done?” you cried “You reduced me to nothing but a whore in your mind and heart because of some stupid lies and speculation. You didn’t even offer me the grace to explain myself because you have already decided that I can never be anything more than my past. How can I ever forget that? I can accept being a whore to everyone else Sihtric but for all these years I always believed I was more to you.”

“I let my insecurities lead my judgement,” he cried “All this time I could never believe that someone as beautiful as you chose me. I have always thought you deserved better than I could ever give, I was too blinded by my own fears and shortcomings to think clearly. But for all of that I am here before you begging you to love me again. I can’t be without you, life is unbearable without you.”

“You’ve shattered my heart, Sihtric. I don’t know if I can allow myself to love again, it is too painful, I won't live the rest of my life knowing you think I cannot be trusted when all I have ever done is be a faithful wife to you.” 

Sihtric shook his head wildly, grasping your hands, heart breaking when you snatched them back.

“I will do whatever it takes to prove to you that I am not this man who has hurt you, mistreated you and made you cry. I love you more than anything on this earth. Allow me to rebuild our trust, because I will never doubt you another day again as long as there is breath in my lungs. And maybe..Maybe in time you could find your way to love me again.”

“I never stopped loving you,” you whispered “It is you who abandoned me.”

Sihtric had enough of distance and pulled you to him in a crushing embrace, relieved when you allowed him to scoop you closer, your head falling upon his shoulder as he wrapped his fingers up in your hair. 

Your tears felt warm as they fell on his forearms and he buried his nose in the crook of your neck, inhaling that all familiar scent of home.

“Can you love me again?” he pleaded in a soft whisper against your skin, and you nodded gently in his arms.

“I will never doubt you another day of my life,” he promised, pressing a kiss to your hair, and then cupping your face in his hands he rested his forehead against yours “I promise to never take you or our love for granted again.” he vowed and you nodded in his hands.

“Believe me when I say, you are the only man I have ever loved, and I will never leave you for another. I am yours and I give you all, there is no room for another.”

Sihtric had to accept the fact that he had to believe what you were telling him now, he had allowed his insecurities to pull you apart once before. But never again.

The weight of both of your pasts would slowly ease. There would surely be more challenges to come and times where love would be tested and strained But never again would your trust in one another waver or the commitment and vows you made to one another. 

And with Sihtric in your arms sleeping soundly you could finally release the heaviness you had been carrying since you had left Winchester in disgrace of your past, and your husband’s accusations. 

Tagging: @canyonmoon-2@sihtricfedaraaahvicius@whitedarkmoonflower@shamrockqueen@thenameswinter99@foxyanon@acdassenza@thatawkwardlittlefangirl @gemini-mama

[brie-annwyl]

Angst because it’d sun to feel every once in a while

Bruce has never known a day of peace since he took in Dick as his ward, not because he’s a father now and it led to him adopting multiple other little hellians. Because all of his children love to prank and spite him. Dick (surprisingly) was the most tame out of them all, only occasionally hiding things from Bruce or using nerf guns against him at the most inconvenient times (galas especially).

Jason after living on the streets for a few years picked up on how to be EXTREMELY quiet and how to hide well. Without any pattern or explanation Jason would just randomly disappear from the manor, sometimes to make it more interesting he would stage it like he ran away or that someone took him. Bruce believes Jason wanted to give him a heart attack before 50. Jason always tried to get Dick to join in on the little pranks but with Dick and Bruce not having a good relationship, he never got the chance to. (Jason staging “running away” and “kidnappings” were the reason Bruce wasn’t immediately freaked out when Jason wasn’t in the manor when he went to Ethiopia. He just thought Jason was pranking him.)

Tim is in for a rude awakening when he tries to prank Bruce. It’s been a while since he became Robin, him and Dick are incredibly close and he’s started staying at the manor more often than not. Bruce ruffles his hair and laughs at his jokes, they even had a movie night the other day! So when Dick subtly mentions how he used to prank Bruce and that Jason followed in his footsteps, he feels like it’s a right of passage for Robins to do so. Tim accidentally brings back an old memory of Jason by doing a prank like Jason would do, Bruce just freezes when he sees Tim and leaves the room. Tim doesn’t prank him after that. (Bruce immediately realizes his mistake after Tim never tries to participate in pranks again but is too socially inept to fix things.)

Damian thinks pranks are ridiculous and stupid. He never attempted one until Dick pranked Bruce one day a few months after he came back from the time bs. It’s the first time Damian watches Bruce wheeze, he pulls Dick into a tight embrace and kisses his forehead and it fills Damian with an ache he’s never felt before. So, he researches pranks he can try and asks Jon for assistance. In the end he tries something small, he puts saran wrap on the entrance to the kitchen in the evening. Bruce absolutely eats shit but laughs all the same when he sees Damian giggling from the dinner table. (Tim pretends not to notice the commotion from his tablet. There’s a lump caught in his throat throughout all of dinner.)

Steph only pranked Bruce whilst on patrol as Robin. She hasn’t done it since and rationalizes the pain she feels by saying “every Robin does it” instead of “all his kids do it.”

Duke? He will help others pull off their own pranks, he never makes one of his own. He doesn’t feel as though it’s his place (even though he lives there and Bruce loves him all the same. Sometimes he can’t believe it)

Cass blames her pranks on others, she wants to be included with her brothers but doesn’t know what Bruce’s reaction to her pranks would be if he knew they were her own (he does know, he sees her set them up but still acts as through he doesn’t see them)

Jason re-enters the family with a prank, he hides in Bruce’s study whilst he waits for him to get home. He cannot honestly say what he hopes to achieve in doing this, he just wants a sense of normalcy that he had when he was little he misses his dad and just wants a hug again (touch starved Jason is canon you will not tell me otherwise). The prank worked, Bruce got scared but upon realizing it was Jason he immediately pulls him into a hug and kisses his forehead. Jason melts completely and stays for dinner that night upon Bruce’s request.

Tim watched on from afar as they all prank Bruce. A privilege he doesn’t believe he deserves. It’s noticed by everyone but no one knows why he doesn’t except for Bruce, the one person who is physically incapable of being emotionally vulnerable. So Tim watched on as his siblings get forehead kisses and full belly laughs and he’ll give them half smiles and thumbs up as he escapes to another room (most likely the cave) so he can bury his sadness for another day.

[carulenes]

I have so many scattered thoughts re: Blade, Jingliu, and Dan Heng and the entirety of the HCQ after Clouds Leave No Trace

This is gonna probably be long as hell since I haven’t stopped thinking abt it for two days straight and will contain spoilers for the new HCQ quest in 1.4 as well as references to other leaks, this is mostly just a jumble of a bunch of theories and ramblings to get my thoughts out, some of which I already had and others that started to jump out during the quest. obv other ppl may have come up with similar conclusions and i obv might not be right myself but based on the narrative presented to us up until now, these are what I feel make the most sense. TLDR at the end.

Dan Heng vs “running away”

I find it fascinating, and frankly disingenuous, that that both Jingliu and Blade consistently frame DH’s explanations of no longer being Dan Feng and only containing fragments of his memories as "trying to run from his past". I’ve also seen some in the fandom claim that DH’s position on the matter shouldn’t be trusted as he’s an “unreliable narrator”, which could be true, but it’s a stance I disagree with as it goes against the structure of DH’s narrative as it’s been set up since the beginning of the game.

From day one until the present, Dan Heng is shown to be fully willing to atone for the sins of his past:

The moment he was allowed to move freely aboard the Luofu after having quietly accepted exile for crimes he shouldn’t have had to pay for, he decided of his own volition to seek out the current high elder and make amends with both the Xianzhou and his past in general, even when doing so made him a target for even more suffering:

Narratively speaking, he never once backs away from the punishment considered owed to Dan Feng's actions.

Dan Heng, the result of a forced rebirth process that was then manipulated to leave him with combat prowess and broken memories he neither wanted or should have possessed to begin with, was escorted away from the only homeland he knew, after being held in prison for crimes he legally should not have been judged by from the moment of his birth, with only the few possessions his previous incarnation had possessed, forced to jump from spaceship to spaceship without even recognizing the destination. The only reason he ever ran at all is due to the ages spent fighting for his life against an enemy he didn't recognize and never truly recognized him, one that refused to die no matter how many times they fought. One who caused unmatched destruction in his hunt for Dan Heng, fully willing to destroy anyone and anything in the way of his goal— a shadow of his past:

This is why personally (emphasis on personally) I believe that the longing in question from the leak regarding Dan Heng polishing his spear is in reference to the Luofu, as to me, it makes sense that he would long for and think of the homeland he never got to witness thoroughly with his own eyes and could only experience in books while caring for the weapon he uses to keep himself and others safe from the force of destruction that trails him:

In fact, it isn't until after Dan Heng joins the Astral Express that he begins to fight back against the assertion that he must eternally suffer for the past; this is because this is when he finally has something other than himself to protect. We are directly shown this in his animated short, when the memory of the other members of the Express crew serve as the motivation to spur Dan Heng out of the internal conflict he was drowning in, and also as his prime reason for going to meet with the others in the HCQ aboard the Luofu:

This is likely possible largely due both to the fact that Vidyadhara cannot succumb to mara, as well as the fact that he doesn't have the same specific memories as the others, and so he is not shackled to the same chains that now bind Blade and Jingliu.

———

Blade and Jingliu

In Blade’s youth, Jingliu describes him as someone who was “defiant” in a way she claimed not to like. I find this fascinating given that the two are so incredibly similar at present, which I feel is due in part to Blade’s unwavering respect for her even after the pain she caused him, both because of who she is as the former Sword Champion and the amount of Abundance abominations she alone had been able to slay, as well as the pain she inflicted giving him new purpose, a choice to give him a “second chance” despite at one point having wished to leave him to his misery as a fate worse than death, as described in her character story.

Both Blade and Jingliu experienced great suffering in their childhoods

Blade's swordsmanship ability comes directly from Jingliu’s tutelage

His personal oath comes directly from Jingliu, as she forced it into his psyche over and over through death and rebirth in order to force him to remember:

They both took on deals through which they are able to have access to suppression for their mara:

And both are fighting towards goals that are implied to, at least currently, be impossible (following who I believe to be extremely suspicious individuals):

Also, both are equally stubborn, seen both through their refusal to take no as an answer to Dan Heng's wishes to no longer associate with them and through their refusal to listen to anything that may trigger or directly refute their perceptions of reality:

But most importantly:

Blade and Jingliu both became mara-struck very quickly after Baiheng’s death.

It's repeatedly mentioned that mara is linked to to the artificially stretched lifespans of Xianzhou natives, but also that a fundamental aspect of the affliction is tied to the accumulation of painful memories. Given that vast scope of the destruction that occurred during this bane, and the extreme closeness both Jingliu and Blade had to the deceased and beloved Baiheng (in addition to the trauma of being transmuted into another species entirely, in Blade's case), it's no surprise that both of them are affected so deeply. Additionally, a common treatment for mara is avoiding accessing painful memories or suppressing/removing them entirely.

As Blade himself states that the effects of mara affliction are unique to the individual, I can't make a sweeping judgement of the symptoms all the mara-struck; the specific manifestations of Jingliu and Blade's afflictions, however, can be related to the concept of complicated grief:

We see these symptoms heavily within Jingliu, who literally wears a blindfold to avoid seeing anything that can trigger painful memories, has a voiceline describing how she can't remember many details of the time she and Baiheng spent together, speaks how she's plagued with nightmares about Baiheng, and she refuses to not only prohibit herself from forgetting the pain of what happened to her that day, but also the remaining members of the HCQ.

Similar observations can be made for Blade; he notably speaks very little and withdraws from most social situations, not wanting to take part in “annoying conversations.” His particular form of mara affliction is, by his own admission, unusual and devoid of any real emotion. The few moments of reprieve are spent either thinking too much or not thinking of anything at all. When his mara strikes, though, he shuts down, going completely numb and lashing out at whatever's in his way- not unlike certain displays of trauma responses in real life. He asks directly, “Why does someone like her have to be buried, burned to ash, and eventually forgotten...? Why!?” And given Yingxing being quoted saying directly during this quest that he doesn't wish for an overly long life, and Blade's intense suicidal ideations in the present, it's not a far reach to suggest that he also wishes that he died with her or in her stead.

And both are unable to find purpose in a life without her:

Blade and Jingliu both accuse Dan Heng of being unwilling to accept the past, but both of them are quite literally and physically unable to do so themselves— Dan Heng was even the only one to have spent extended time in the Shackling Prison, even though he should not have had to due to his rebirth, while both Blade and Jingliu were both wanted criminals who managed to escape. They both walk carrying the pain of the past through the present because they feel empty without it. And, unlike Dan Heng, neither one of them have a future that they feel can look forward to.

On that note, Jing Yuan, the only member of the HCQ who is capable of succumbing to mara and yet hasn't, is also the only member to directly acknowledge Dan Heng's autonomy and existence. This extends to Dan Feng as well, as both Blade and Jingliu most often refer to both Dan Heng and Dan Feng interchangeably with the title of Imbibitor Lunae, rather than their names.

The only ones to continue to deny Dan Heng's existence and rebirth are those who are unable to leave the past behind, such as the mirage echoes forever tied to Scalegorge Waterscape, as well as Blade and Jingliu, forever tied to their own suffering.

[Side note: This is exactly why I believe HYV decided to have 1.3 end with an entire questline based around the showing the process of accepting death and healthy grieving: to act as a direct juxtaposition to Blade and Jingliu, who both are unable to engage in the process themselves.] ————

Yingxing and Dan Feng/Blade and Dan Heng

Yingxing the Furnace Master and High Elder Dan Feng were very close. They were good friends, yes, but they were also bad for each other, according to Kafka:

Which would be easy enough on its to write off as her own interpretation of a story she’s heard but doesn’t know enough to understand. But Jingliu, the living member of the HCQ most affected by their actions, shows agreement with her assessment, pointing out that she’d found it strange “to see someone so arrogant get along with someone so proud.”

These specific traits are mentioned and attributed to them multiple times— the arrogant craftsman and the proud high elder. The reason for this is also stated by Kafka: “Together, they did something bad— something terrible. It led to horrific consequences.”

The emphasis that they did it together, almost directly after stating that the pair were bad for one another (which was a conscious choice to have her say, as her statements of their shared mistake and Blade's memory loss would have sufficed on their own), is important not simply because they both made and adhered to the plan; it’s important because it implies that it was directly because it took the two of them specifically to create the chaos and unrest that took place and not anyone else. This isn’t a condemnation of either of them as individuals, but Jingliu herself points out that even the smartest people can make extremely ill-advised decisions in the heat of the moment.

If Yingxing hadn’t arrogantly believed himself alone capable of handling and utilizing the remains of the very Emanator it took a plethora of combatants including the entire HCQ to take down (likely leading to the loss in the usability of his hands as a result):

If Dan Feng hadn’t proudly believed his “salvation” more righteous than the autonomy of those mortals he sought to save, "letting" them continue living as though the right to withhold the honor of dying for a cause they believed in was his alone, while also seeming to blindly believe himself incapable of being deceived or misunderstanding something:

None of the resulting fallout would have happened.

Only one with powers like those of the High Elder of the Vidyadhara could have attempted what Dan Feng did, and only an outworlder who has experienced the allure of immortality and experienced the fear of not having enough time would be willing to assist, given the Xianzhou’s stance on acts regarding immortality.

Furnace Master and High Elder, filled with blind confidence in themselves, blind confidence in each other, enabling each other (Yingxing calling out to Dan Feng and implying that they had to be the ones to make a choice, Dan Feng being moved by his human heart’s words and his own exhaustion with watching the deaths of those around him) to make a dangerous choice at a critical moment when their close companion is in mortal peril (more accurately already dead but they couldn’t accept that), and make the decision to ignore the autonomy of everyone involved. They had no contingency plan because they were sure that, with each other, that it would work. Because of this, they both share the blame, their noble intentions not enough to outweigh their unforgivable sin.

Jing Yuan is noted to have “always understood the price better than any of [the HCQ], yet he never spoke up, never did anything”, but anyone who has had the experience of trying to tell an arrogant or prideful person that they’re wrong or making a mistake knows that that’s an uphill battle on its own. Add in that it would be two against one (one of whom he already canonically bickered with constantly throughout their companionship), asking two of the most stubborn people he knew to give up on their desire to save the beloved (for Yingxing, Baiheng; for Dan Feng, his people), the two that were closer to each other than he was with either of them (not to imply that the HCQ weren’t all very close to each other because they definitely were but in obv differing ways) right in the middle of a high stress situation where there’s no time for arguing, and what remains is Jing Yuan with no options but to watch as disaster unfolded before him and everyone else, knowing that their minds were already made up.

Yingxing never wanted to be immortal or to see Baiheng suffering, but his own hubris helped lead to both.

Dan Feng never wanted to endure the sight of meaningless death, and yet directly caused it due to his pride, believing he had the right to play god and interfere with the natural process of death, or to consider that he may be wrong.

They were good friends who were bad for each other, and good people who made an exceedingly bad decision.

In the present, it’s been over 700 years since the last meeting of the High-Cloud Quintet, meaning Yingxing and Dan Feng have been essentially dead for roughly 7x the length of the HCQ’s entire existence. Their new identities, Blade and Dan Heng are clearly meant to parallel each other, but as opposing forces going in different directions, given Blade’s unwavering desire to die, and Dan Heng’s unwavering desire to live and to protect those he cares for. Both were put through immense suffering that, in the same vein, provided the means of “freedom” for them— Blade, through the sword; Dan Heng, through banishment. And both have found new colleagues to consider allies, though even the two groups are opposed to one another.

At this point in time, they’re enemies in all respects, and the chances of any reconciliation between them in my opinion is VERY slim for multiple reasons not limited to how much time has already passed at this point:

1) Dan Heng does not trust Blade at all and actively considers him one of the biggest threats to both his own and his companions’ safety, with good reason. The only way this could feasibly change is if Blade were to stop hunting him, which likely would not happen because

2) Blade is wholly devoted to Elio’s predictions for him, which Dan Heng’s existence would be paradoxical to. One of Blade’s wishes is to kill Imbibitor Lunae specifically in revenge, and he doesn’t (or can't) accept Dan Heng’s existence; if what Dan Heng claims about his identity is true, then that could only mean the future Elio promised must be false, which would strip him of the only purpose he has left in this world, leaving him as an empty, undying husk. This matter is also complicated by the fact that

3) There is still no cure for the mara that afflicts Blade, which would be the only avenue through which Blade could even begin to consider accepting Dan Heng and potentially reconciling. Both he and Jingliu were able to discover methods of having it suppressed, but both were temporary fixes: Jingliu notes that her time is beginning to run out, and Kafka had to use alternate means to reduce the potency of the mara within Blade after it violently flared up after merely being on the Xianzhou, which is likely the only reason the meeting between the HCQ could even take place with his attendance. On top of this, there’s also the fact that

4) Blade’s feelings for Dan Feng are likely very complex as well. Deep down, there’s clearly still some fondness there in the way Blade looks back on the time spent with Dan Feng, but he’s also one of the people he deeply resents and wants to see dead, which I believe could be due to his belief that it’s Dan Feng’s fault that Baiheng died. There is a choice-dependent voiceline from Baiheng deep within Dan Heng's memories that calls out to him to save them from the starskiff, but we know that it crashed. He tried to invoke the Transmutation Arcaneum, but it failed, instead turning Baiheng into a half-dragon monstrosity whose wails of pain echoed all around them. And then, though he wasn’t the one to deal the final blow, he might as well have by giving the location of the dragon’s weak spot to Jingliu. To top everything off, everything ended with Blade within an immortal body, one that leaves him in constant pain, particularly during the healing process after “death”.

From his perspective, it’s easy to see just why Blade could place the blame of Baiheng’s burial and the near destruction of the Luofu solely on Dan Feng, accusing Dan Feng alone of being the one to stubbornly adhere to the plan; it’s also easy to point out Blade’s hypocrisy given his role as Dan Feng’s accomplice. There are multiple potential reasons for this in my opinion: his brain, afflicted by both mara and prior memory loss (though he never forgets Dan Feng’s eyes or “how cruelty burst out from beneath the mirror-like emerald calmness”); his arrogance, leading him to absolve himself of any guilt or wrongdoing because he believes himself incapable of failing; the current youth-like quality of his mind, reduced to immaturely (by which I purely mean the dictionary definition of having/showing emotional development of someone younger) craving nothing but revenge while simultaneously absolving responsibility by saying “He did it! Not me!”. Also, considering Jingliu’s dialogue to Dan Feng where she says to him “If your death can return everything to how it was, I would do it,” and the many ways Blade already emulates Jingliu, it isn’t too difficult to consider that he may have taken that duty on himself out of grief and longing.

Along with these reasons, the narrative emphasizes that even almost a millennium after Yingxing and Dan Feng’s deaths, destruction follows in their wake whenever their new lives cross paths. Dan Heng learned this quickly, hence his fervent desire to keep distance and his relative uncertainty of anywhere that could possibly be safe for him, though he also learned rather quickly that this was futile. Blade was always able to find him, entire spaceships destroyed in his unshakable desire to kill him. On the Xianzhou, not only was Dan Heng dragged into a fight with Blade, but so too was Yanqing. This cycle of destruction is implied to have been so constant for Dan Heng that it’s likely the entire reason he never feels safe or feels unable to confide in anyone so as to not risk putting them in danger.

----

The Destruction Trio

Imbibitor Lunae, Blade, and Jingliu all being on the path of destruction is no coincidence given their histories. The three “sinners” all shared a key trait: being able to cope with death and painful losses. Both Yingxing and Dan Feng viewed her as arrogant and proud, respectfully, which was another commonality between them. This leads all three of them to not only become the orchestrators of their own self-destruction, but the destruction of those around them as well: Dan Feng witnessing countless deaths and being forced to be reborn as another; Yingxing’s loss of his gift and creative abilities as well as the transformation into the immortal Blade who only sees himself as a weapon; Jingliu’s abandonment of her sacred oath and everyone she killed during her time under the influence of the mara poisoning her mind. Only Dan Heng walks a different path, as he is the only one to have directly stated that he accepts the past that happened but refuses to let it stain his bright future.

The three of them are also intrinsically linked in their pain. Dan Feng and Yingxing's mistake led directly to Jingliu's suffering; Jingliu's treatment of Blade led to his becoming a living weapon and catching the eye of the Stellaron Hunters, and also to him being able to inflict similar suffering to Dan Heng by hunting him constantly. Blade and Jingliu both are of the mind that this is inevitable and inescapable, but only Dan Heng is in a position to be able and willing to question whether he really does have to continue feeling that pain.

While it's still very early on in HSR's lifespan making it difficult to make any real concrete theories, for now I predict that Jingliu will die in her attempt to kill the Abundance, and I also believe her to be aware of this deep down, as she likely sees this as a way for her to atone and find her peace. It also makes most sense for Blade to die at some point as well, considering his parallels to Jingliu, his current character and the fact that while Yingxing used to fear not having enough time in life when he was young, he came to accept his mortality in his elder years after the full life he lived with the HCQ; it could even possibly be in defense of Dan Heng, which could provide a full-circle end to their cycle and their story, a form of closure that no other broken pair has seemed to get so far. Their respective character stories, while directly representing their current struggles, can also be viewed as allusions to their fates as well, with Blade's referring to his death and Dan Heng's highlighting him seeing the dawn of a new day. I also think it could be feasible for the discovery of a method to remove Blade's mara and for him to grow content with the Blade of today, even with powers he doesn't want, similar to Dan Heng accepting that Imbibitor Lunae's powers will always be a part of him; a "miraculous cure" sort of ending could be very clunky if not handled well in my opinion, though.

----

The Reunion

Though it's phrased in a metaphorical way, I feel pretty sure that not only did we just see the reunion alluded to by the PoWC bracer, but also that this is another remnant of Jingliu’s influence that some part of Blade’s subconscious must have clung to:

Note the usage of “should”, a term with many meanings but the most applicable being “expressing a conjecture or hope,” rather than something like “will”, which would indicate future tense or an inevitable event.

Jingliu’s splash art alone shows her pouring out a cup of alcohol

In Jingliu’s character story, Baiheng is said to have brought Jingliu “divine nectar from the other side of the universe”

At the beginning of the companion quest, in the Seat of Divine Foresight, she mentions wanting to have a glass of wine and reminisce with old friends

She is the one to bring the jade flask that Blade handcrafted himself for her when she releases the starskiff in her memory

When the remaining quartet reach Scalegorge Waterscape, she directly mentions that she never believed the 4 of them, with their many grudges and all friendship lost, would gather again and specifically quantifies the hundreds of years that have passed

She does this twice more, mentioning the seven centuries and how they all did this 700 hundred years ago

She is the one to point out that, in the past, they all promised to meet together again for a drink no matter what happened

She says that she believed “those joyful days would flow indefinitely before us” which also fits within the imagery of drinking

There are multiple visual nods to drinking in her flashbacks as well: there’s the quintet having a toast, as well as Jingliu pouring out the alcohol once again while Yingxing sips off to the side, which symbolically is a good representation of the way she poured so much of herself into Blade (whether intentionally or unintentionally) that so much of him resembles her now, down to the bow on the back of his clothes (and even their similar splash arts). There’s also a glimpse of Yingxing and Jing Yuan drinking together. Because both of them were children when they each met Jingliu for the first time, it makes sense that Jingliu and the others were likely the ones to teach the pair to drink once they each came of age.

Jingliu mentions that they will likely never all meet again, and bids farewell to the HCQ.

Finally, at the very end of the quest, she directly says:

Blade mentions alcohol only once, when he says, "The miraculous thing is that in my brief moment of death... all the pain went away... like when we drank to drown our sorrows." In Jingliu's case, we know that she was affected in much the same way as Blade, becoming more confident and boastful under the effects of drinking, mentioning that the nightmares and pain from her childhood memories were no longer so terrifying. For both of them, alcohol is another form of suppression of pain, not unlike substance abuse seen in real life, which grieving individuals are at higher risk of falling victim to.

While it’s possible this wasn’t the reunion that alluded to and they could technically all reunite once more in the future, the sheer number of references to the contents of the backstory mentioned in the bracer lead me to believe that this isn’t the case, as well as Jingliu stating herself that this would likely be their final meeting before she pays her own ultimate price. Not to mention the fact that very specific circumstances had to be in play for Jingliu/Luocha, the Stellaron Hunters, and the Astral Express to all end up on Jing Yuan’s doorstep at the same time. Specificity like that is rarely duplicated, particularly in HSR’s canon, which features many characters with formerly close bonds being separated for whatever reason with no closure to their relationship. The four of them even getting one reunion was a blessing in itself, even though none of them felt particularly happy about it afterwards.

TLDR: Dan Heng is accused of running from his past, but he is the only one of the three "sinners" capable and willing to do so; Jingliu and Blade are heavy parallels of each other and share the same pains of complicated grief; Yingxing and Dan Feng together (and Blade and Dan Heng by association) bring out the worst in each other and represent a cycle of destruction that neither of them are currently able to escape from; the reunion mentioned by the bracer was likely Jingliu's idea that Blade also began to internalize and we likely just watched it occur; Dan Feng, Blade, and Jingliu were all incapable of handling death and loss and this inability is what lead to the three of them causing so much pain and destruction for themselves, each other, and everyone around them.

[cosmichorrorsarestillnicerthanme]

Seeing How Your Body Works-Furina X Vamp! Reader

@melodic-haze , seeing as you liked the first one of this little anthology, here is the second part.

Next up, I am thinking March 7th

Warnings: Non-Sexual Nudity and intimacy

“Are you sure about this?” Furina asked in a whisper as she straddled your waist and put her hands on the side of your face, the bed moving slightly under the two of you.

“Of course I am milady. I’ve seen all of you, it's only fair you see all of me.” you muttered, your eyes looking directly into hers.

Furina leaned down, bracing her hands on your bare shoulders, and whispered “Thank you, my love.”

Then, she leaned back, and the both of you could see everything.

It was Furina’s idea.

To keep everything “Equal” as she said.

You were the only one who needed to be exposed as she examined you.

But she insisted.

And so, here the both of you were.

Not a single piece of clothing on either of you.

Furina, holding herself upright on your midsection, legs spread and knees on both sides of your torso as her breasts slowly rose and fell in tandem with her breath and she looked you in your eyes with a deep trust and fondness.

Slowly, she dragged her hands up your chest and to your throat before placing her fingers on the underside of your jaw.

Wordlessly, you opened your mouth and Furina could feel the muscles under her fingers tense as your fangs came into view, glistening in the pale light of the moon and the stars.

Gently, Furina removed her hands and placed them on the side of your face once more slowly bringing them down your jaw to where her index finger could easily into your mouth to feel the fang.

It felt like any other tooth, but then she ran her finger up the edge and then, she put the slightest amount of pressure onto the tooth, causing it to slice through her perfect skin with ease.

Your entire body twitched in response and your pupils narrowed as your irises began to glow.

Furina was undeterred.

She trusted you completely.

She knew that, if you so wished, you could split her open before she could do a single thing at this distance.

Her death would be a foregone conclusion.

Unbothered by this thought, she continued to admire your body.

She could already feel her finger going numb and a rather pleasurable tingling begin to radiate from the wound.

“A vampire’s Toxin numbs the wound and causes the nerves to activate, sending signals to the brain that cause it to release high amounts of endorphins.” Furina recited the explanation you gave her before all of this began.

You nodded your head slowly, careful not to move the placement of her bleeding finger which was still in your mouth, the sweet taste of her blood making it hell to fight the urge to wrap your tongue around the wound and taste what little bit of her you could.

Just the few drops that had slid down your throat made you feel like you had downed twenty cups of tea filled with sugar, electricity was running through your veins but in the same moment, you could feel the want to think slowly fade away and a sense of calm overtake you, your limbs going limp upon the bed.

Are you sure Furina isn’t the one with the semi-paralytic toxin in her blood?

If she did, you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

Especially not when you were shaken out of your stupor by her removing her now longer bleeding finger from your tongue that you had wrapped around the wound without thinking.

Embarrassment turned your face red as you looked to the side.

“If just a few drops of me could do that to you, I could only wonder what would happen if you decided to go straight for the source!” Furina said rather pridefully as she forced you to look her in the eye by gently turning your head towards her, a grin on her face and a faint blush on her face.

Then, Furina removed her hand from your chin and placed both of hers on your shoulders as she slowly lowered her body, laying flat against you with her ear on your chest, directly over your heart.

Like any living being, your heart did beat.

However, it was slow.

Much slower than it should be.

For every three beats of her heart, your’s beats once.

And that is where Furina laid there, listening to your heartbeat, listening to your breath.

Her skin felt like it was burning you, but it was not an unpleasant burn.

Your cold skin was making her want to do nothing but close her eyes and let the cold devour her.

She was more than willing to let it.

Purely because she knew she could find you inside of it.

And that is how the two of you spent the night.

By the time morning came, neither of you could tell where Furina began and you ended.

For the entire night, there was nothing beyond the space the two of you occupied.

No requirements, no laws, nothing.

There was just you, and her.

Holding each other close, bare skin on bare skin, basking in the wondrous feeling you both felt from the other.

[helloalycia]

𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐀𝐃𝐌𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐑 [𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄] // 𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐘 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐁𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐃

summary: with everything left in limbo between you and Lucy Gray, there's no chance to talk about it because reaping day is finally upon you.

warning/s: usual warnings that come with the Hunger Games, such as death and violence and all that jazz. Also cheating, again.

author's note: and this is the final part! it was a fun one to write so i hope you all enjoyed it! kinda have an idea for another lucy gray one but whether it’s fully thought out is another thing, so stay tuned! 😂

one / two / masterlist / wattpad

As if things weren't bad enough lately, the Hunger Games reaping day was finally upon us. Every year I tried so hard to forget it existed, knowing the results would be inevitable and I should just make the most of my life without worrying about it, and every year I found myself growing scared the few days leading up to it, mainly because it meant it was one year closer to Y/S/N being old enough to have her name in the mix.

My parents, Y/S/N and I were approaching the square where the reaping took place, neither of us saying a word, but I could see their fear in their eyes. Y/S/N was holding my hand, trembling slightly, and I hated that there was nothing I could do to put her at ease.

My eyes raked over the residents of District 12, all getting in line as the peacekeepers kept guard, and then Y/S/N tugged at my hand, making me look down at her with concern. She nodded to the left of me, where the Covey were getting ready to line up. Barb Azure was the eldest at nineteen, so gave them all a big squeeze with Maude Ivory before leaving them to go. I caught her gaze and she gave me a sad smile, nodding reassuringly, and I did the same. Maude Ivory seemed to spot Y/S/N and lifted her hand in a slow wave. I noticed the only person who was missing from their group was Lucy Gray. Where was she?

"Why don't you go stand with Maude Ivory?" I encouraged Y/S/N with my best attempt at a smile. "Her and Barb Azure are probably lonely."

Y/S/N glanced at our parents, who seemed to understand what I was doing and nodded with approval.

"Good luck, Y/N," Y/S/N mumbled as she hugged me tightly once more, and I almost didn't let go.

After she ran to join the others, I gave both my parents a final hug, pretending I couldn't notice the tears in their eyes, and watched as they joined the rest of the crowd at the back, made up of those either too young or too old to take part.

As I turned to find my place in line, Lucy Gray suddenly appeared, startling me. I hadn't seen her since a few days ago when she kissed me, and it had ended so awkwardly that I still wasn't sure what to think. But right now, it was the last thing on my mind.

"Just wanted to see you before it starts," she said kindly, and my heart warmed at her words.

"How are you feeling?" I asked her, noticing the frown on her lips, and it looked like something more than just everyone's usual fear of the Games.

She sighed, looking down at her fumbling hands, before avoiding the question and instead saying, "I'm sorry about the other day, Y/N. I really am."

I lifted my brows slightly, not expecting her to bring it up, especially not now.

"Thanks for everything," she continued, a tight smile on her lips. "For being there for me."

"What?" I asked, because she wasn't making any sense. "Lucy Gray, I–"

She hugged me suddenly, arms wrapping around my shoulders briefly, but long enough for me to smell the spritz of an old floral perfume on her neck and make my head go cloudy. Leaning back, she kissed my cheek before I could react, and gave me a knowing look as my skin warmed where her lips just were.

"Remember to stay away from Billy Taupe and Mayfair," she reminded me sternly. "You promised, remember?"

I furrowed my brows, searching her eyes for some sort of explanation to why she was acting so strangely. "Lucy Gray–"

"In line, both of you, now," a peacekeeper interrupted, pushing between us and shoving me slightly to the others.

I tried to look at Lucy Gray once more, but she offered me a slight smile before joining her line. I told myself I'd have to talk to her afterwards, but then as the reaping took place, I realised why she'd been so confusing.

She was to represent District Twelve in the Hunger Games.

I could hardly believe it, not when the mayor called her name out on the stage, not when she threw a snake down Mayfair's dress, not when she sang her song of defiance, and not when they whisked her away, never to be seen again.

She knew she was going to be chosen. I wasn't sure how, but she'd figured it out, already prepared to go out with a bang, in typical Lucy Gray fashion.

It wasn't fair. All because Mayfair held a pathetic grudge, she'd made sure Lucy Gray paid the price – it had to be that, otherwise what was the need for the snake? And now I was never going to see her again. After everything, I couldn't talk to her, hear her voice, see her pretty little smile, ever again.

Why?

I was hurting, still in disbelief but knowing the Covey were even worse for wear, definitely unable to accept that their sister was truly gone. Unfortunately, I had to work that evening, but the Covey weren't performing tonight. There was nothing to celebrate, and even the Hob itself was emptier than usual, nobody quite in the mood to remember the stolen life of another.

Instead, the Covey were sat at a table in the corner, saying nothing and looking distraught. I wasn't sure what to do to make them feel better because how could they? All I knew how to do was be a waitress, so Miles let me bring them some fruity, non-alcoholic drinks on the house, a rarity and a treat, but one they definitely needed right now.

"Hey, guys," I said, tray in hand as I approached their table. Setting it down, I began to share out the drinks one by one.

"We can't afford that," Barb Azure mumbled, and neither of them touched it.

"It's my treat," I said sympathetically. "Thought it might make you feel a bit better."

"How are we supposed to feel better when she's gone?!" Maude Ivory snapped in a broken voice, before jumping off her seat and walking away.

I swallowed hard, suddenly feeling stupid as I looked to the others. "Sorry, I– she's right. I didn't mean it like–"

"Don't, it's okay," Tam Amber cut me off with an apologetic glance. "We're just missin' her. It's hit Maude Ivory hard."

I pressed my lips together, nodding sadly.

"Thanks, Y/N, we appreciate it," Barb Azure added, offering a small smile, before taking a sip.

"If you need anything, just let me know," I told them earnestly. "I'll be here for you."

They nodded, and I reluctantly left them to it, knowing they probably wanted some space.

There had never been a winner from District 12, and I hated that that's all I kept thinking as I thought about Lucy Gray in the Games. She could still win, there was a chance she could, but she was a performer, not a fighter. Her chances were slim. There, but slim.

We couldn't watch the Games, the Covey and I – nobody in District 12 could. The reception was simply terrible, no matter how hard we tried to tune in. There was one evening however, when Y/S/N and I were at the Covey's home. We'd been visiting them often the past few days, both to cheer Y/S/N up and to simply be there for them, but this night was different. Tam Amber had been able to get some signal on their small TV, using a lot of tinfoil and taking advantage of the clear night.

"It's on! It's on!" Maude Ivory shouted, pointing at the screen. "Don't move!"

Tam Amber held his position on the antenna, tilting his head to get a good look at the screen. Clerk Carmine turned up the volume and I wasn't sure what we were watching at first, unfamiliar with the Hunger Games as we rarely had access to it. And then I noticed the expensive clothing, the bright lights, the witty presenter – it was in the Capitol. Some sort of interviews were taking place between the tributes. A girl from District 11 was finishing up her interview and we all watched with slight amazement, rarely seeing anything like it.

A spotlight shone onstage and the audience fell quiet. It was quiet, before the familiar sound of a guitar strumming sounded, and to everyone's disbelief, Lucy Gray walked out into the centre of the stage.

"Lucy Gray!" everyone said with realisation.

It was her! It was really her! Only a few days had passed since she'd been stolen away, but it felt like forever without her energetic presence alongside us. My heart was beating exceptionally fast as I studied her. She was wearing the same dress she wore on reaping day, but it looked as if it had been cleaned, ironed and made brighter – a white dress with vibrant rainbow ruffles at the bottom, only the brightest for someone who loved colour. Her lips were painted red, eyes dusted blue, and she looked as well as could be, though a little slimmer. I wondered if they were feeding her, concerned it could hinder her in the Games.

Her voice started soft, gradually growing strong as she sung about herself and a mystery lover, whom everyone soon realised was Billy Taupe. And as she finished her hauntingly beautiful song – "Too bad I'm the bet that you lost in the reaping. Now what will you do when I go to my grave?" – we realised she'd only confirmed our suspicions of it being because of him and Mayfair that Lucy Gray was chosen as a tribute.

"It's their fault," Clerk Carmine said what everyone was thinking, upset as it dawned on him what kind of brother he had. "He let this happen."

Y/S/N wrapped an arm around his shoulder comfortingly as we all watched the screen, the cutaways to the audience cheering after her performance. And then as we were all savouring the sight of Lucy Gray for a little longer, the signal cut out.

"Sorry," Tam Amber said with a sigh, stopping his stretching and sighing. "It's not gonna work."

"It's fine, thank you," Barb Azure told him.

Nobody spoke for a moment, the sound of the static the only thing to fill the room. If it was interviews today, then the Hunger Games would officially begin tomorrow.

She'd be fighting for her life tomorrow, and there was nothing we could do about it.

The Games ended yesterday, that's what rumours around town were saying, but nobody knew for sure since nobody could watch them, and so nobody knew who'd won either. I was trying not to think about it, unsure whether to believe it they'd truly ended or not. For all I knew, they could have still been going on, or they could have ended days ago. Either way, the last thing I wanted to imagine was Lucy Gray battered or bloodied or bruised.

Instead, I tried to distract myself with the job at hand – working. In particular, throwing some old beer crates out back in the bins as Miles had asked me to. I was on the third one, carrying it from the backdoor of the Hob and to the bins next to it when I felt someone's presence behind me. Curious, I turned around and my jaw dropped, the crate almost slipping from my grasp.

It was Lucy Gray.

"Hey, darlin', what's with the long face?" she asked, tilting her head and smiling playfully.

I blinked, certain I was imagining this – it wouldn't have been the first time she'd infiltrated my dreams. But when she didn't disappear, I found my voice.

"You're back," I said hesitantly, afraid I'd be mistaken. "You're here. You're– how? How are you here?"

"Why, I won the Hunger Games, of course," she said like it was nothing, an easy accomplishment, which we both knew it wasn't. "Turns out I wasn't finished here after all."

Her statement was so insane that I couldn't help but let out a quiet snicker, tears filling my eyes when I accepted that she was finally home. She'd done the impossible – she'd won.

Setting down the crate, I swallowed the lump in my throat before approaching her suddenly, pulling her in for a hug. She was here, she was real, she was home.

Her arms wrapped around me, squeezing me tightly, head tucking into my shoulder and curly brown hair blinding me. Every part of me was ignited by her touch, unable to believe she was actually here.

I wanted to say so much to her, and yet nothing came to mind because I was too overwhelmed with her presence, my senses invaded by her scent, her warmth, her touch. Just when I tried to pull back to truly look at her, she pulled me closer, tighter, and I couldn't do anything other than let her embrace me a little longer.

After a moment, I pulled back, eyes scanning her worriedly. She looked a little tired, circles under her eyes covered by makeup, and her hands were tougher than usual – I felt them through my shirt – no doubt a result of what she'd endured in the arena. But she was alive, and that was all I could have asked for.

"When?" I asked, voice embarrassingly thick with emotion. "When did you get back?"

"Midday," she answered, brown eyes bright as they flickered between mine with focus. "I went straight home after they sent me here on a train. Reunited with the family. Counted my lucky stars."

I smiled a little, still in disbelief, and hung onto her every word.

"Then I wanted to come 'n' see you," she continued lightheartedly, though there was some truth to it. "See if you'd forgotten about me."

I began to laugh, wiping away my stray tears. "I could never, Lucy Gray. Nobody could."

She smiled appreciatively, before looking down at her hands, long eyelashes casting a shadow across her face as she blinked. I could have watched her for a while, merely existing, glad that she was back, but she needed more than just another admirer right now.

"I won't ask you what it was like over there," I said gently, making her look up again. "I can imagine you don't wanna talk about it. But if you do, well... I'm here."

She exhaled through her nose, smile widening. "You haven't changed a bit, have you?"

I didn't know what to say, suddenly embarassed under her stare, and she chuckled at my reaction.

Clearing my throat, I changed the subject and pointed over my shoulder to the Hob. "Are you staying tonight?"

Her eyes flickered over to it, lighting up excitedly. "I might perform a few songs, why not?"

At this, I suppressed the urge to smile and admitted, "That would be nice. I missed hearing your voice. I– I missed you."

Her eyes fell back to mine, smile faltering a moment. "Even after how we left things?"

Our last encounter before the reaping came to mind, and I nodded honestly. "Especially after that."

She hummed, smile fading completely, and I wondered if she was thinking about it too.

"I've been so worried," I admitted, my heart beating a little quicker in my chest with each word I spoke. "We all have. But the TVs didn't work and the peacekeepers wouldn't tell us anything."

"I didn't mean to worry you," she said sweetly, taking my hand and squeezing it. "The Covey said you and Y/S/N checked in with them whilst I was gone. You didn't have to do that."

"Of course I did," I said, placing my other hand on hers and taking it between mine.

She glanced at her hand, making me realise I was still holding it, and I let go gently.

"I should go home and get ready," she said with a nod. "But I'll see you in a few hours, Y/N."

"Can't wait." 

Her smile widened and she turned to leave, my eyes unable to look away from her retreating figure for fear she'd only be a dream.

As promised though, she returned to the Hob a few hours later, and by then, word had spread fast about her victory and return. The Hob was bustling with people, all unable to believe Lucy Gray was finally back. Even Mayfair and Billy Taupe were there, mainly in disbelief that she'd survived, but I tried not to focus on them since they didn't matter anymore. They couldn't do a thing anymore.

The Covey hadn't performed since Lucy Gray left, so everyone was in for a real treat when they kicked off with her introduction. Spirits were high, drinks were flowing and I couldn't have been happier than when I saw Lucy Gray back onstage, where she belonged.

We'd left things in a strange place, but it all seemed so futile now. My heart was full of adoration for the Covey girl, and maybe it was time I just started listening to it instead of overcomplicating everything. 

It was a long evening, and by the time I'd finally finished cleaning up with Miles, we both left and waved goodbye to one another, my feet hurting from standing on them for so long. Only, as I was about to start my walk back to the Seam, I spotted Lucy Gray waiting outside, startling me.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she said between a laugh. "I didn't mean to scare you."

Hand to my chest as I regained composure, I said, "No, it's fine. It's... what are you still doing here? It's been half an hour."

When her and the Covey had finished performing for the evening, it had been too busy for me to spare a moment to say goodbye to them, so I'd just assumed Lucy Gray had gone home with them.

"I was waiting for you," she said simply, and I instantly felt bad.

"If I'd known, I would have hurried," I said, stepping towards her.

"It's okay, I didn't want you to rush," she assured me, before shrugging. "I missed you. It's been too long and I just wanted to walk you home."

My expression softened at her words, a warmth spreading in my chest. "You don't need to," I told her.

"I want to."

I pressed my lips together, exhaling quietly, before nodding and readjusting the strap of my bag on my shoulder. She flashed me a stunning smile before joining my side and leading the way.

"You did great tonight," I said to her, glancing over and trying to ignore the flutter in my chest at her profile. "Your songs, your spirit – everything."

Her smile grew. "Thank you, that means a lot. I guess I just really missed performin'. It's not the same as singin' for the Capitol."

"Tam Amber managed to get signal one night," I said without thinking. "The night of the interviews. We just about caught yours. Your song."

She sighed, her smile fading into more of a grimace as she remembered, and I felt bad for bringing it up.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to remind you," I quickly said, frowning. "I– never mind that."

"It's not so easy bein' back after everything," she admitted, looking to me, before stopping walking all of a sudden, I stopped too, and then she continued, "but I've realised a lot of things."

I furrowed my brows slightly. "Like what?"

She clenched her jaw, before her dark eyes met mine with conviction. "I didn't kiss you because you were Billy Taupe's replacement."

Surprised she'd bought it up, I asked, "What?"

She didn't dare look away as she answered, "Back before the reaping. When I kissed you at the bonfire. It– it wasn't me confusin' my feelings or usin' you, and I'm sorry if I made you feel that way."

I wasn't sure what to say at first, unable to make sense of what she was admitting. Because if that was the case, then that meant she liked me, and how could that be?

"It's okay," I said slowly, heart rate beginning to speed up as she held my gaze. "It's history now."

"I don't want it to be," she said desperately. "I missed you so much, Y/S/N. I was there and– and all I was thinkin' about was the Covey, your sister and you. All of you, and how I had to get back to you all." She swallowed hard, stepping closer. "With you, I need to clear the air. Because after everything, I've learnt that life is too short and too tender to let things slip by. And I've fallen for you, Y/N. Deeply. And you just– you need to know that that's why I kissed you. Nothin' more, nothin' less."

Frozen in place, I hoped she couldn't hear my heart hammering in my chest, or feel the shivers on my skin from the warmth emanating from hers. She was stood so close, enough for me to make out the tears pooling in her eyes, and I didn't know what to do. This whole time, she liked me. I wasn't a fool for thinking so – Billy Taupe had been wrong. All this time, I'd had a chance and it was almost ruined because of my own stupidity and insecurities.

"What are you thinkin'?" she asked between a halfhearted chuckle, a tear slipping from her eyes. "You're stuck in your head again, darlin'."

"I'm sorry, I–"

"Don't be sorry," she said, taking a step back, and she'd misinterpreted where I was going with this.

"No, I mean, I–" I began, but the words were lost on my tongue, and the more she looked disappointed, the stupider I felt. "I didn't know, Lucy Gray. I didn't expect it. Billy Taupe, he–"

Another of her tears fell, and I groaned quietly to myself, shaking my head. Why would I have ever listened to him in the first place?

"I'm sorry," I repeated, meeting her gaze with the utmost sincerity and guilt. "I should have never listened to the likes of him."

It was her turn to be confused. "What do you mean?"

"I let him get in my head," I admitted, cheeks heating with embarrassment. "He convinced me that you were using me as a replacement for him. That you only liked me because–" I stopped myself, it sounding stupid when I said it aloud, especially to the girl in question. "It was stupid. You would never do such a thing, I should've never listened to him."

She frowned, trying to find my eyes, but I was too embarrassed to look at her. "That sounds like him. I'm sorry he did that."

"No, I'm sorry," I said, shaking my head and getting stuck in my own head again. "I ruined this, and then you left, and all I kept thinking about was how I let you go, and if you didn't come back then–" I paused, frowning to myself, before finally lifting my eyes to meet hers. "I've always liked you, Lucy Gray, but so does everyone else. And I didn't wanna be just another Lucy Gray admirer. But you saying this– meaning this– it's just– you're just– it– you can't–"

She began to smile, nodding. "I get it."

I stopped talking, flustered and embarrassed and unsure what else to say or do, because after so long, the girl I liked actually liked me back.

She stepped toward, hand lifting to my cheek and cupping it gently, and I practically held my breath as her glassy eyes met mine. Then, she looked down to my lips and leaned in, kissing me.

Unlike last time, I let myself enjoy it, closing my eyes and kissing her back. Her lips were soft, sweet like her lip balm, and fit perfectly against mine. This couldn't be real, she couldn't be real. After everything that happened, she was here and I was getting a second chance. How?

After a moment, we both pulled away for air, though she didn't let go of my face just yet, nor I with my hands on her waist. I opened my eyes, submerged in pools of brown, and forgot how to speak, lips tingling where hers just were.

"I've wanted to do that for so long," she said quietly, thumb tracing my lips gently, and sending shivers all over my body. "I thought I ruined it, the last time. Lost you for good."

I shook my head. "I don't think you ever could, Lucy Gray."

A smile formed on her face, and then a laugh escaped her lips, and she looked at me once more, making me feel like the most important person in the world.

She kissed me again, and I wondered what I'd done to be so lucky.

[muses-with-afp]

In terms of Bleachy things that I am never not thinking about given my particular sort of brainrot, it would have to be Chapter 179, Confession in the Twilight. Today, I want to overthink long and hard about assumptions fandom often makes about Hisana. Some of these assumptions are not well-supported by the canon. Other of these assumptions likely stem from material added by the anime and/or the movie Fade to Black.

Because I'm sort of "meh" on the supplementary material from the anime and pretty "blah" on the Bleach movies overall, I will stick to the manga. (I am also a simple creature with only two brain cells to rub together now-a-days so... there's that, too.) I am sure there are more assumptions one could pick apart and torture to death, but for the sake of brevity (I write cackling because when am I ever brief?) below are my top three.

1. Assumption One: Hisana had no spiritual power/pressure

This one is odd to me because we, the audience, do not have a whole lot of evidence to base this assumption off of. Byakuya never says anything of this sort to Rukia during the confession:

Although, it is possible that Hisana was spiritually weak, and what made it difficult for her to survive was taking care of a baby with significant spiritual pressure/power. This explanation is entirely possible, but, based on the English translation, it is not the only interpretation one could draw.

Honing in on the"[b]ut it was hard for her to survive there while caring for you..." bit, this could suggest that Hisana, in fact, needed more than vibes and water to survive herself. We get a sense in Bleach that siblings often have similar capacities in terms of spiritual power and pressure, and we know Rukia is spiritually gifted. Accordingly, one could make the leap that Hisana, too, had some spiritual capacity. Now, I think the case for sibling similarities in spiritual talents is probably strongest for the souls born in SS since they presumably are most "genetically" related (or whatever concept passes for "genetic" relationships in SS), one assumes. This, of course, also assumes you buy the idea that Hisana and Rukia were just ordinary souls who passed from the WOTL to SS. KT, however, has thrown a wrench into this explanation by suggesting that Rukia is a secret... eighth thing/potential hybrid. (At least, I think we are up to eight soul "ecotypes" now .... Maybe it's nine if we add in the lore from Burn the Witch.) Perhaps this secret variation/hybrid is specific to Rukia, or maybe it applies to both sisters equally.

Other evidence that could support Hisana as having some spiritual capacity (beyond being a spiritual dandelion) includes:

According to Renji, the only way to escape Inuzuri was to attend the Academy/become a shinigami. It's possible that Renji was speaking only in terms of "legality" (i.e., the only legal way to leave your assigned district/town/placement is to gain admittance to the Academy) since we know Kenpachi and crew exist. Could Hisana have gotten out of Inuzuri using the Academy loophole? Sure! Why not? Was Hisana a bloody tank like Kenpachi and fought her way out of the city? Maybe but probably not, since she felt driven to abandon her sister, which doesn't seem very warlord-like of her. Maybe Hisana never actually left Inuzuri after the abandonment. The "[a]bandoned you and ran" (emphasis mine) part of the story makes it sound like she left the city, but maybe she just ran away from Rukia and went to another part of Inuzuri or the district.

Rukia somehow managed to survive (i.e., maybe it wasn't the demands (or just the demands) of a spiritually needy baby that drove Hisana to abandon her). We don't know much/anything about the period of Rukia's life between the abandonment and meeting Renji, so it's hard to say how needy she was as a soul baby.

Hisana hung out with/lived with Byakuya, who we know (a) has a metric ton of spiritual power and pressure, and (b) lives in a city full of similarly situated souls. Canonically, weaker souls seem greatly affected by the spiritual pressure of the more spiritually capable souls in Bleach, which could suggest that she had enough to withstand living in Seireitei and being married to someone with a lot of the stuff.

Depending on whether you think Rukia is anywhere near the ballpark in terms of her age vis-à-vis Ichigo (150 years, by the way), Hisana's life span would have been about 100 years in SS, which isn't particularly short. It seems that souls with some spiritual power/pressure tend to live longer than souls without it.

As Byakuya continues with his confession to Rukia, he says that Hisana "searched for [Rukia] almost every day for the next five years." If you take this literally, it sounds like Hisana went out into the slums regularly, which is pretty far away from Kuchiki manor. Without some sort of fast travel option (the Kuchiki are rich so maybe one exists...), it seems that she would have needed to learn a pretty good flash-step to make that trek anyway feasible. Although, it is possible that Byakuya meant Hisana searched for Rukia in a more abstract sense since, as a noble, she would finally have resources (beyond her physically trekking out there) to conduct a search. It could also be both.

2. Assumption Two: Hisana was (or was not) doing XYZ before marriage

This assumption likely piggybacks off the one above. Since we are given no indication as to what Hisana was doing before marriage, if you assume she was a spiritually weak being, it makes sense for the years between abandonment and marriage to be full of scrounging and hiding from scary beings/thugs/monsters/take-your-pick. And, true, the reckless noble/prince taking an unwashed but kindly peasant girl as a wife is an oldie goldie in terms of romance tropes.

But, as noted above, Hisana could have been literally anything. Shinigami? Sure! Secret agent/informant? Why not!? In CFYOW, Yourichi gets pretty annoyed at Tokinada for speaking ill of Hisana. It's possible that she's irritated with him because he's trying to goad Byakuya into an altercation and is using Byakuya's dead wife as the ammo (which, yeah, is a pretty gross thing to do). Alternatively, there could be a personal connection between the two women (which may provide further color on Rukia being chosen as a vessel for the orb, don't mind me just out here speculating). We know the higher districts are rough, and, at least according to Renji, Inuzuri is full of criminals and bastards of all stripes. Hisana could've been a crime lord, a lackey to a crime lord, a thief, a prostitute, a hustling gambler, a bookie, basically anything. The vagueness is glorious!!!

3. Assumption Three: Hisana died of ghost consumption a respiratory illness

This assumption likely arises from the anime (although forgive me if I'm wrong about this since it has been a while since I've watched the anime) and Fade to Black, which has a scene where Hisana has a coughing fit. The manga, however, gives no indication:

All Byakuya says is he "lost his wife." To what? Who knows?! Be more specific, Byakuya!

We also don't get a whole lot of evidence to indicate what killed her during the confession scene.

Hisana isn't sweating, and her futon is white as is the bit of clothing we see, so it doesn't look like she's necessarily suffered a physical attack/assault. She's also, notably, not coughing....

For reference, below are Byakuya's bludgeoned panels because we have a lot of parallels between her deathbed request and Byakuya's confession to Rukia:

To be fair, Byakuya's blanket and pad aren't bloody either, but his captain's coat sure is, and, goodness, is he sweaty! Although, perhaps Byakuya's memory of Hisana strips away the gory and gruesome bits (e.g., blood, sweat, coughing, gasping, gurgling death rattles, anguished groaning, etc.) since... well... no one actually dies pretty.

Based on the manga retelling of Hisana's expiration, the cause of death was... literally anything. Okay, I kid. I kid.

Sort of.

Maybe her COD wasn't literally anything. She was at least in a bed ready for death and had enough time to call upon her husband. (Although, so is Byakuya here, and he was stabbed like thirty minutes ago and is giving similar sorts of vibes to poor Rukia.) My guess is that whatever Hisana had, she succumbed to it over a period of time, which rules out causes of death that come fast, but a lot of deaths aren't immediate (unfortunately). Maybe she sustained internal injuries that took her, which would parallel nicely with Byakuya in these panels. Maybe she had "beautiful wife consumption," which is an oldie goldie trope for doomed lovers. Maybe she had whatever soul flu or illness afflicted Byakuya's dad. Maybe she had some sort of soul cancer. If you're doing the math (or a version of the math since time in Bleach is wobbly), Byakuya and Hisana married a year or so after WWII. It's not a pleasant thought, but cancer (leukemia and solid) rates went up five+ years later for obvious reasons, and perhaps this is an abstract/unconscious nod to that of sorts.

But, who can say??? Not me, that's for damn sure!

From a practical story-telling perspective, I imagine that KT leaves a lot of wiggle room around this period to avoid caging himself in for whatever reveal he had/has in store regarding Rukia's backstory/heritage/why Urahara picked her to put the orb into/etc.

[dulcewrites]

Fool Me Once (part 9)

Summary: you feel your grasp on your passions slip as a new person takes the Iron Throne (wc: 4.3k)

A/N: GUYSSS we are getting into the home stretch :(. I plan on having one more part after this, then a little epilogue/explanation what explains what happens during the actual war and the aftermath. Can’t thank y’all enough for all the support I have received since starting this series. It started as a one off and has turned into something else. sorry this took so long, I had some creativity issues going on. BUT I hope to get part 10 and the small epilogue out very soon.

Also check out my new alys x aemond x oc fic that explains how I actually see aemond and alys lmao

Fmo masterlist

Drowned in Love

When you were young, you loved the water. Your father said it was the Riverlands in you. Your family home was situated near the Bay of Crabs. There was a river that ran from the Bay near the castle.

Your mother used to chastise you for playing too close to the water in your nice dresses. One of the worst punishments you ever got came after you went into the water without her wishes. At the time, you could not swim. All she saw was hair bobbing in the water, your blue dress floating out around you.

Perhaps it was practice for when you are older, and now you must keep your head above water. Everyday.

You lie in bed, eyes tracing the dark swirls in the on the ceiling. Hair damp, hands shaking, only thing on your mind the sound of waves crashing the shore. A loud, urgent knock on the door makes you jump. There is no panic in the way you slowly up and walk towards the door.

Quinton is standing there, chewing on his lip. He takes in your sedated disposition with furrowed brow.

“Are you ok?”

“I am fine,” you lean, leisurely against doorway.

He winced slightly, before looking down the hallway to see if anyone is around. He takes your hand, and you fight back a flitch. You worry he can sense the difference in them. Or maybe that is in your head. Like a lot of things these days.

“King Viserys… he’s dead.”

You blink once, then twice before a giggle comes out of your mouth. Quinton gives you a slightly mortified look. It only makes you laugh again.

Dead. Viserys dead.

Your stomach churns as the giggles don’t stop. You stop as the bile works it’s way up your throat. It is not long before you are running towards the chamber pot in your room, dry heaving what little is on your stomach into it.

A hand follows on your back.

“It’s ok,” Quinton whispers. “You much be in shock.”

Yeah…. Shock.

By the time you compose yourself and get ready. When you get to the Great Hall. Rhaenyra is sitting in a chair, rubbing a hand on her temples. All her children standing around her.

Daemon is standing near window of the hall, Dark Sister unsheathed.

Rhaenyra looks up through her hands, and when she spots you, she stands Jace tries to follow her, but she reassured him she is fine.

“I need to speak with you.”

She does not wait for you to answer, just continues to walk out of the hall. As you turn to follow her, Daemon turns from the window making eye contact you. You don’t think you have ever seen his eyes that dull. You nod in acknowledgement before leaving.

Rhaenyra’s pacing around the room only makes your anxiety spike more. The wine you poured yourself not helping. You want to go hug your kids. You want to be far away from this place… from these people.

The natural response should be to comfort her; she has just lost her father. You had thought her husband would be the one to do it but the moment letter made it’s way to painted table, Daemon left the room. Rhaenyra reaching out just to be rejected.

“Rhaenyra, you really should not be exhausting yourself in this condition.”

She asked you to come to her study with her, and since then has done nothing but pace and mutter things to herself. Your eyes go her bulging belly. The maester had told her to be careful this time around. This would be her sixth child, the third in the last five years. Stress never bodes well for a woman with child.

“I want you to advise me once I am named Queen,” she finally turns to you suddenly.

You can’t help yourself, you let out a bark of laughter. No matter how much you feel for Rhaenyra at times, she will always prove herself to be a typical Targaryen. Self-serving to a fault. Delirious with her own thoughts.

“You do not even need to have a title,” she replies. “Just an ally to keep an eye on certain things for me.”

Your eyes go to the red liquid in your goblet; it reminds you of the color of fresh blood. A bile finds its way up your throat. Blinking away tears, you look up shaking your head.

“You will be Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. You will have no shortage of political allies. Ones much more capable than me.”

“Who said anything about politicking,” Rhaenyra rebuts. She sighs, putting her hand on her stomach. You see beads of sweat on her forehead.

Otto had told you to stay close to Rhaenyra while at Dragonstone. She may pretend to walk alone in the world, but she will cling to any partnership she can forge. You can’t help but think about what he is doing right now, and what he would tell you to do. Pre Viserys passing, he would probably tell you to oblige her. The closer the better. Now that the throne is in reaching distance for both Rhaenyra and Aegon, you wonder if his answer would be the same.

“You mean keeping an eye on Aegon, on my husband.”

The word husband leaves a wretched taste on your tongue. Rhaenyra gives you a look, panic in her iris eyes. “I am sure they have been waiting for this moment.”

Though you told Otto the best course of action would be to wait it out, the realm shows their disdain for Rhaenyra and vice versa. You know better than to fully trust that will happen. For all you know, he could be crowning Aegon right now. You pray for their sakes nothing of the sort has come to fruition.

“You really think if I knew about some grand plan to usurp you that I would be foolish enough to come here,” you roll your eyes. “Where could you essentially hold my children and I hostage? Aegon has no desire for the crown. Your father’s treatment diminish that want years ago,” Rhaenyra’s eyes darken, and you throw your hand up in defense. “And Aemond… he wants a lot of things; does not mean he will get them.”

“But… if I chose to agree,” Rhaenyra’s resolve perks up. You want to say something about it being a very strong but, though you are sure it would not help in this moment. “There needs to be honestly, about everything, Princess. Me to you and you to me.”

She eyes the cracked door to the study before going over to shut it. Rhaenyra leans against the door.

“I think we have much in common.” Outside of being women and mothers, you can’t seem to find many similarities. “Sometimes you find yourself in positions… in positions with people you thought you could trust. Decisions are made. People get hurt. It all blurs together till you get what you think you wanted.”

“What is your point, Rhaenyra?”

It’s the talking in riddles, the lying, that you are so sick of.

“My point is, you and your children will be safe under my yoke. I can promise you that. The same way my children are a priority for me. I don’t know if anyone else around you can promise you that.”

Your eyes go from her to outside the window in the study. The beach waves crashing in the back.

No one is ever safe in this family.

— — —

“I do not see why the whip in necessary.”

The dragonkeepers exchange a look. You know they probably do not want you here, but someone needs to advocate for Daella.

You watch from the rocks as another dragonkeeper and Daella wait on the flat grassy area near the castle.

“It is only to assert dominance. He has already sees her as his rider. He just needs to understand that he should keep his attention on her,” the male dragonkeeper says in a low voice. “It has been years. Subservience is something that may need to be relearned.”

Dragons and subservience. The thought makes you want to snort with laughter. It makes you feel like the crazy one, thinking that messing with dragons will blow up in everyone’s faces. A long dynasty built off the beasts should be enough proof it can happen. But you have since learned that Targaryens and everyone else live in two different universes.

While everyone else can see the dangers, they welcome them, accept them as the risk because it is in their blood.

Rhaenyra’s return to King’s Landing is as somber as it was expected to be.

But she is not the only one with a solemn disposition. By the time the ship that carried everyone docked, and dragons that followed close him scurry away, you can see the tense looks on the faces of those that greet you to.

Alicent, Daeron, and Helaena are there once the carriages stop, the feelings unintelligible because of the stoic nature of their faces. Daeron and Helaena rush over to you.

“I told you to be discreet,” you say softly but pull Daeron into a hug.

You see out of the corner of your eye, Alicent and Rhaenyra reaching out to each other. Daemon makes no effort to be greeted or greet anyone else. You hear him say something to guard about seeing his brother’s body.

Helaena grabs your hand and gives it a squeeze, and you squeeze hers back. A part of you does not want to face Aemond yet, but he just lost his father. Despite it all, your heart does hurt for him.

Daella insisted on showing people her new dragon. Alicent included, who gave you a sympathetic look while her granddaughter pulled away by her dress. You ask for Quinton to accompany them to the dragon pit.

With Alaric in your arms, you try to maneuver into your apartments. You find Aemond sitting and reading a book. He just stares at you for a second before getting up. His attention focused on Alaric. You watch as he murmurs to him.

“I don’t think he liked Dragonstone very much,” you try to break the silence in the room. “We can cross that off the list of places to take them when they are older.”

Aemond just hums, not paying you any mind.

“Aemond, if you want to talk ab-“

The look he gives you makes you stop in your tracks.

“There is nothing to talk about,” he says coldly.

You swallow thickly. You can’t help but feel pathetic whenever you try with him. Like a puppy that keeps coming back to get kicked. Things have gotten so bad that you can’t even get out that if he wants to mourn his father, you will be a shoulder for him. You know he is hurt, but how he manages to always take that coldness out on you is getting tired. It’s been tired.

“Where’s Daella,” he brushes past the conversation you tried to start.

“With her aunt in the dragon pit.”

He hands Alaric back to you and leaves the room to go to the pit you assume. When the door closes, your bottom lip trembles a bit. Alaric looks up at you with big curious eyes.

You hug him closer to you as you look around the room. A place that was once home feeling more foreign by the day.

The trip to the dragon pit was met with mixed results. Daella seemed excited to tell anyone who would listen about Vermithor. Aemond understood. He was sure he talked his mother’s ear off once he claimed Vhagar.

Things seem to be going well till Daeron stormed in, fire in his eyes.

Gods forbid your wife wants to comfort you. What a poor life you must have. I thought I told you fix it.

A part of Aemond wanted to come clean and say there was no fixing it. He fucked up, you hate him. It is easier to just stay out of each other’s way till one of you can find an out.

What did she do to you to make you act this way. You’re better than that, or so I thought.

Guilt sat deep in his stomach after Daeron said it.

With Daeron’s plea in the back of his head. Aemond finds you in the bath. He can still see the steam coming up from the water; your head leaned back, arms extended and laying on each side. He notices the goblet in your hand. You have been doing that a lot since having Alaric… drinking.

He watches as lean your head up slowly at the sound of him coming in. You roll your eyes at the sight of him. Another thing he notices you doing a lot. Sometimes it’s rolling of the eyes, other times it is loud sigh. As if merely seeing him exhausted you.

It should make him be more conscious around you. Pick his words carefully.

“You shouldn’t drown in your cups,” he knows as soon as the words come out, they were not the right choice.

Your normally bright and clear eyes are blurry and wild. Stray hairs fall from the pile of hair on the top of your head.

“Thank you, father,” you reply sarcastically. He watches you down the rest of your wine, before leaning over to refill it with the large pitcher next to the tub. His eye trails along the birthmark that runs its away across your ribs. It strangely used to be his favorite physical attribute of yours; a part only he has seen.

You would be surprised how well a simple apology works.

His mother’s words play in his head. She used to say it to him and Aegon when they fought Taking a deep breath, he pulls the chair from the corner of the room to near the tub.

“What are you going,” you asked with a frown.

“I think we should talk.”

“I do not want to talk with you,” you groan, closing your eyes again.

“But you sai-“

“I changed my mind,” you sink lower into the tub. “I want to be left alone.”

Aemond doesn’t budge, just stares, mouth twisted into a scowl. He watches you shift uncomfortably until your eyes shoot open.

“Are you just going to sit there and stare?”

“I said I want to talk,” he repeats.

“Fuck you,” you spit out. “I told you to get out.”

“I am trying to apologize.”

You just stare at him for a moment before letting out a bark of laughter.

“Apologize,” you mock. “Whatever for, husband? The cheating, the lying, or just your overall need to be a cunt to me?”

Aemond’s jaw clenches before he tries to reply but you cut him off.

“Now you want to speak on your terms too. After everything you have done to me. You know for someone who resents his father so much that you cannot even come to grips with mentioning his death, you act a lot like him. You watched your mother waste away because of the way he treated her, and you learned nothing. That is not a mistake Aemond, that is a choice. You chose to behave that way, and - and,” your voice breaks. “I have no idea why. I woke up one day alone. Your body was here but everything else was gone. I married you; I gave you children; I bit my tongue like I told to… and it still wasn’t enough for you. The sickest part is that I would have forgiven you if you just showed an ounce of remorse before. So, no Aemond. I don’t want to talk it out with you.”

Your eyes go to water. “I want you out.”

Aemond sits there shocked before getting up and leaving. You sink lower into the tub, till you are submerged. The heat of the water tickles your face. A slight weight lifted on your chest let the calmness of the water take over.

Rhaenyra is crowned in a small ceremony in the throne room. By the time Viserys body was burned and the smoke reached the skies, her coronation was one of planned.

As you look around, you try to find a happy face. Despite the mistakes along the way or the prejudice some may have, Rhaenyra still has supporters in the Realm. Even with this fact, there is not a genuine smile on anyone’s face.

It is all placations to the tense atmosphere that has entered King’s Landing.

Alicent stood on the either side of you. None of the other Hightower children attended the ceremony. Aemond and you have not spoken since the argument the other day. He spends most of his days riding with Daella which you guess is better alternative to what else he could be doing.

“Queen Rhaenyra Targaryen, First Of Her Name, Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar and the First Men, Lady of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm!”

Daemon stands behind his wife, face in deep thought. Rhaenyra’s eyes are red, and distant as her father’s crown is lowered onto her head. Otto is on the other side of her.

You think of the conversation you had with her in the dead of night.

“Why in Seven Hells would I keep Otto Hightower on as hand?”

“Because you and I both know he is good at his job. Despite what you may think of him, he has served each ruler before you well.”

“He married Alicent to my father.”

“Which if recounts are true, you unfairly blamed on her.”

There was silence before Rhaenyra sighed. “I guess having him near is better than far. Corlys is not going to be happy about this.”

As chants for long live with the queen begin, your mind drifts to Aegon. He had been avoiding you since you got back. In fact, he had been tucked away from everyone since.

It could be out a self-survival. There were already whispers about when and how he would take the crown from his sister. Daemon seemed to take it as a personal affront more than Rhaenyra has.

Once the ceremony is over, Otto makes eye contact with you. The meetings had become tedious to hide. With both Rhaenyra and with Otto and rest of the green council.

As people begin to filter out of the hall, Otto walks slowly as you stay behind. He walks you to his study.

“I have to say, I am impressed by how quickly our new Queen has taken a liking to you,” he seems more pleased with himself than you. “And now I have good news for you.”

He pulls out a cloak. The purple shade of it is so deep that it almost looks black. You recognize it well. It’s Aemond’s

“That little problem you had has been taken care of, and I thought you would want this back.”

The familiar flush of heat on the face, and watery mouth you get before you feel like you need to throw up comes over you. You shake your head in confusion.

“This was found… on the body.”

Your breath quickens. “Oh, um well thank you for taking it care of it.”

You know you probably look crazy as you all but run back towards your chambers. The cloak was long forgotten in Otto’s study despite his calls after you. Aemond looks up startled by the desk in the corner when you burst through the door. The two of you haven’t truly spoken since the argument nights ago.

Frantically, you go to the drawer where you unpacked your dresses from the trip. You go to the drawer where you know Aemond keeps his blades.

“What are you doing? What happened?”

When you find the blade you gave him for your anniversary, you drop to your knees. This makes no sense.

Your mind drifts back to pushing her head under the water till she stopped fighting. You tried not to think about it. The nightmares were enough. If that wasn’t her… then who was it? Did that even happen?

You flitch when you feel a hand on your shoulder. Aemond had crouched down to your level with a confused look on his face. He just looks at you before shaking his head.

“Aegon and I have been talking,” your brows furrow skeptically as his voice grows soft. Since when did him and Aegon… talk? His hand goes to brush a hair from your face. “We think it might be best for the children to leave with Daeron when it goes back to Oldtown.”

“What?”

“It is not safe here. Not while Rhaenyra is Queen.”

“Aegon has a reason to send his kids. They could be in line, and in danger, if anything were to happen. We have no reason to.”

“I think we should consider it.”

You scoff. Now suddently he wants to care for his kids. “You can do whatever you want with the children… when I am long dead and buried.”

You swat his hand away, before getting up. You give the blade in the drawer one last look before leaving.

It had been moons since Queen Rhaenyra, First of Her Name had been crowned. After a short period of peace following the death of King Viserys the Peaceful, King’s Landing was alight with gossip and strife.

Some claimed that Prince Aegon, quick to anger, had spent those months plotting his rise power in spite of his sister. Others claimed that it was the Dowager Queen Alicent that had been planning her son to take the throne behind Rhaenyra’s back.

Most of the drivel was salacious and untrue in nature. But all that was trampled and forgotten once news of a prophet spreading the word against Targaryen dynasty reaches the Red Keep.

Slanderous remarks against Queen Rhaenyra gaining traction. It is said that the comments anger the Queen so much that she took it out on one of her ladies in waiting.

It is now said that these sermons were only the beginning of young Queen’s demise.

The sun streaming in through the window is what wakes it up. You sit up slowly, taking in the nice weather outside. But then it hits you. Alaric wakes you up.

At almost the same time every morning, his cries or coos wake you up. You rush over to the crib to find it empty. You notice Aemond is not in the room either, and then with a throat you call out for help.

As ladies scurry out of your room after getting you dressed, you let out flurry of expletives that Quinton wonders if they are just native to where you are from. Some of them sayings he has never heard before.

He tries to keep up with you as you all but run to the kids’ sleeping quarters. When you don’t find Daella in there, you slowly turn around face stoic, and cold.

Quinton watches as you throw your head back and let out a piercing screaming. Almost animalistic. He knows you probably frightened the guard tell who she is with. But he doesn’t understand… most in this castle wouldn’t.

“I’m going to kill him,” you mutter. You give him a crazed look. “I’m going to choke him to death and feed him back to his own dragon.”

Quinton never thought love would be considered an ugly thing, especially not the love between a mother and her child. A man and wife. But it manifests itself in an ugly way as he watching you kneel over, putting your hands on your knees. You let out an ugly sob, a shattering breath raking out of you.

He puts a hand on your shoulder, and as if a trance was broken, you instantly stand up. You straighten your dress out and walk out as if nothing just happened.

It is not until Aemond returns later that evening that something uglier replaces the panic.

———

Aemond was expecting fireworks. Tears for sure, maybe some shouting, but nothing out of the ordinary for what your relationship has become.

What he wasn’t expecting was the way you flew across the room at him by the time the door closes.

“You fucking bastard.”

Aemond recognizes the look, he’s seen it in his dreams. Aemond tends to think people let the pretty face fool them. He often wonders what would happen if he just left you in room with people you didn’t like. Whereas other people hesitate, when brought to the certain point, you would not.

You begin to hurl curses at him. “You have a lot of nerve coming back.”

“They are with their uncle, away from here. Somewhere safe.”

“Nowhere is fucking safe, Aemond. Not in this family. Not with the father they have,” you hiss. “Incompetent, thinks he’s smarter than he actually is, nothing in that head of yours.”

That’s when the first push is landed.

“Otto was right, you’re a rouge.. a liability. Always have been. Aegon always said you’d eventually do something stupid…. again!”

Aemond laughs, teeth blared in a way that makes your shiver. He’s enjoying this.

“Is that what you and my brother talk about behind closed doors? Huh, I would have assumed you two would’ve been doing more… interesting things.”

Aemond watches as something switches in your eyes at the implication. Your eyes go to the blade on his waist. Aemond raises a light brow.

Do it.

“Be careful, Aemond,” you keep your voice low. “I worry you underestimate me, and what I willing to do for them. If something happens to, I will make you sure you end up like -“

Before you can finish, scared and frantic knocks at the door interrupt you. You shoot him one last glare before going to the door. You find a breathless Jace standing there.

“My mother asked for you,” his eyes seem far away. “The - the babe is coming.”

You look at him in shock, before a sinking feeling settles in your stomach.

Her term still has a month left.

Taglist: @florent1s @floraroselaughter @afro-hispwriter @snh96@holy-minseok @voniikg @evienorville @tremendouswolfsaladranch @crispmarshmallow @strawbrryquinn @widemiffyhappy @msmarvel-19 @dc-marvel-girl96 @xkennobi @fanfics4ever@hydrationqueensworld @lyra689 @blazzlynch @httyd-marauders@bregarc @b00kdiary @grey-water-colors @mercedesdecorazon@flowerpotmage @bstorn @poisonedsultana @papery-maniac @its-sam-allgood @yu3kkii @hvx @leoramage @neenieweenie@stargaryenx @rey26 @lazypinkpig @blackravena @s0urmarvel@elleclairez @rebelfleur22 @inpraizeof @luvremlu @clora95@blacpiink @let-love-bleeds-red @iwanttohitmyself @alastorhazbin@kitkat-writes-stuff @carrielle @aloneatpeace @ensolleildelune@landlockedmermaid77 @deadunicorn59

[ellieluvr420]

Eye for an Eye Pt.6

MASTERLIST (and information about Palestine) Please read!

SYNOPSIS: Your body yearned for the touch of your girlfriend, the warm embrace that calmed your mind but you couldn't give in, the anger you harboured for her at disappearing with her group for three months without any warning, explanation or even a mention of when she would be back stopped you in your tracks any time you got close to giving in. You loved Abby so much but looking at her made you sick, you couldn't push the feelings down no matter how much you craved for things to go back to what they once were. You hadn't planned this but the anguish in those green eyes mirrored yours and sucked you in before you could think twice about the repercussions of your actions. You made your bed when you made the deal with the auburn-haired stranger, eventually you'd have to lie in it.

MDNI smut!!!!

I want to quickly stress that this is a darker fic and there will be a lot of darker, possibly triggering themes to do with mental health throughout so take that as a warning. I likely won't do warnings for each part because part of this fic for me is that you don't know what's going to happen until you read it so please do not read if you find graphic descriptions of mental illness and topics surrounding that triggering (this includes suicide, be warned). But if you do read, thank you so much, this story is really important to me and I appreciate any interaction whatsoever!

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧    

The only sound you could hear on your walk back to the stadium from the theatre was your heartbeat thumping in your ears, your entire body was throbbing and tingling, you had just told Ellie everything, the sense of doom slowly caging you in like dark clouds do to signal a storm is on its way. You should be grateful really, no screams and moans of infected, no humvees coming to search for the missing traitor, but you’d take anything over this mind-bending silence. There’s nothing to ground you, nothing to keep you in reality. You try and keep yourself calm but you’re on your own, there was no one keeping you in check, no one to remind that you exist and that you’re alive, just you and the Seattle roads that rain was bouncing off the surface of. 

When did it start to rain? 

You hadn’t noticed the torrential onslaught, soaking you to the bone, sending painful chills through your body, you hadn’t noticed the way it dropped off your eyelashes and ran down your cheeks, maybe that same path had been numbed from all the tears you had shed. 

I don’t remember turning down here. Why did I turn down here? Fuck. 

Alarm bells sounded in your mind as you backtracked to the main road, you just needed to make it to the stadium, you tried to breathe, shaky inhales and exhales racking your body, inflating and deflating your chest. Your thoughts swam and collided together, shrieking and crying, you just needed to get back to the stadium. 

Five things I can see 

Rain, an overturned car, a tree, my hands, the stadium. Okay not long now. 

Four things I can hear 

My heartbeat, my breathing, the rain, a runner crying. Oh that’s... comforting. 

Three things I can touch 

My jeans, my hair, the ground. I don’t remember falling over, fuck my knee hurts. Focus. 

Two things I can smell 

Blood, and the rain. I think I’ve said the rain too much. 

One thing I can taste 

Abby’s lips. Fuck, when the fuck did I get back here? I’m kissing her. 

Your eyes snapped open as you jumped away from Abby’s sleeping form, you had pecked her but you had no idea how long you’ve been here, you’re in pyjamas and there’s no blood on you so you must’ve showered but the last thing you remember is smelling the rain mixing with the moss and grass that had overtaken the city and now you were laying in Abby’s bed, kissing her sweet lips that had tormented you with their silence for all too long. You forced yourself back into the bed and pressed your hands over your lips to muffle the sobs that you could no longer control. You could barely breathe, panic taking you in its grasp and caressing your skin, setting it on fire as you tried desperately not to wake your sleeping girlfriend. 

You had no idea how long you’ve cried but when you finally work up the courage to spare a glance over your shoulder, Abby is sleeping peacefully beside you, you brush a stray hair from her face and will yourself to go to sleep, to forget for just awhile the nightmare that encompasses you in consciousness. 

The exhaustion took over and eventually you succumbed to a restless sleep, only then did Abby crack her eyes open and peer over at you with a confused look. She had stirred as you entered the room but she was still too tired to move, she felt your lips press to hers and as soon as they were there, they were gone as you ripped yourself away, gasping and sobbing until you slept. She had woken up once before and noted your absence from the room but that had to have been hours ago so hearing you come back only confused her more, she was going to ask but the way you had reacted to kissing her stopped her dead in her tracks and now she lay awake contemplating whether she should ask or if she’d just end up pushing you further away. 

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧    

Abby sat with Manny in the canteen, she had left you asleep in the room in need of some space to clear her head, she had been so in her head recently with the deaths of her friends that she was starting to wonder if she had imagined you going back to normal around her, that she had dreamt it up to provide some solace but that didn’t feel right. She needed reassurance and she felt wrong asking for it from you. 

“Manny, does she seem okay to you?” 

“Hm? Oh, well you two seem fine, you know she isn’t really talking to the group again yet but from what I’ve seen you look the gross lovebirds you were before. Why do you ask?” 

“I don’t know, it’s just been a lot and I think I said something the other day when she was comforting me about... you know.” Neither of them could bare to say their late friends' names. “I’m scared she’s gonna pull away from me again.” Manny opened his mouth to reply but a shadow looming over the table stopping him. 

“Hey Melon, you okay?” Manny greeted her with a smile that she was yet to return. There were bags under her eyes and a permanent frown etched into her features. Her eyes were glassy and bloodshot and only made Abby’s nerves spike. 

“I need you guys to follow me.” She doesn’t wait, she just starts walking, leaving Abby and Manny to share dumbfounded looks as they followed in silence. “I’m not supposed to be showing you this so you cannot tell anyone.” Her voice was foreboding as she led them down to the morgue, rows upon rows of body bags, the stench was suffocating as they all coughed into their arms. 

“Why are we down here Mel?” Abby said still covering her mouth and nose with her sleeve. 

“I’m really sorry guys.” She unzipped the bag to show them Nora’s mangled corpse, it was hard to even tell it was a person at first, but the look in Mel’s eyes left no room for denial. 

“Oh my god.” Manny breathed as he gagged. 

Abby could barely feel her feet on the ground, her vision blurred and her ears rang, she couldn’t get enough air into her lungs as the world span and she stumbled out of the room that felt like it was collapsing in on her. She just kept walking and walking until she had no idea what quiet corridor she had stumbled into and collapsed against the wall, the tears fell and fell, waves cascading from her eyes, swelling her lips and making it hard to breathe, she felt sick as she clutched onto her stomach and tried to force her brain to calm before she had a full blown panic attack. She tried to focus on anything other than Nora’s lifeless body, her patrol schedules, the routes, you, your strange behaviour last night... Where had you gone last night? Something twisted in her gut and she was moving quicker and quicker towards Rocky’s office. She needed to see the patrol assignments. 

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧  

“Hey babe!” Your voice called throughout Abby’s room as you heard the door open and close. She watched as you emerged from the bathroom with just a towel wrapped around you, slinking over to her with a dark look in your eyes. “You weren’t here when I woke up, was gonna come look for you in a second.” Abby went to speak but she was frozen as you looped your arms around her neck and pulled her into an earth-shattering kiss. All her focus went to your lips caressing hers, the feel of your tongue lapping at hers, the way your body pressed itself into every ounce of space between you until there was none left. Her arms hooked round your waist as she sighed into the kiss, completely transfixed by you. 

Her brows furrowed as one of your hands left its place around her neck and shuffled between your bodies but her eyes snapped open at the sound of your towel dropping, leaving you completely bare in front of her hungry eyes that devoured you more with every second.  

“Strip.” Your voice was sultry, dark, it only drew her in further as she complied with your command, each step she took closer to you as she tried to rid herself of her clothing, you took a step back with a giggle. She frowned and rushed more, almost tripping over as she kicked her cargos off. She lunged at you and you let her sweep you off your feet, wrapping your legs round her waist and squeezing. She caught your lips in a fiery kiss once again, a hand coming to rest on the back of your head as she walked you down the steps of her room towards her bed, she felt your fingers snake around her neck and squeeze enough to make blood rush in her head, eliciting a guttural groan from deep inside her. 

It was a mess of breathy moans into each other’s lips, the clashing of teeth and tongue, the grabbing and clawing, the marking of soft skin, it was all the pent-up emotions releasing and floating into the space around you. For Abby, this was comfort, this was a reconciliation, one that she desperately needed. For you, it was a distraction, from Ellie, from all that you had done, for you, it was a goodbye.  

She lowered you down onto her bed, immediately climbing on top of you and pressing a thigh to your cunt as you lifted yours that was sandwiched between her thighs to press against her core. A symphony of gasps and groans filled the room as you each felt the friction igniting sparks within you. Abby bit down on your bottom lip as you gripped her hair at her scalp and yanked.  

“Fuck I needed this so bad, I love you babe, I’ve missed you.” Abby’s voice was a distant echo in the furthest corner of your brain as you chased your high, each grinding in motion with each other as your body’s tangled closer and closer together. You caught her lips in a fiery kiss so you didn’t have to speak, didn’t have to tell her you loved her back, that lie might break your subconscious altogether. You moaned into her mouth letting her muffle your sounds as you both inched towards your release. 

Your bodies tensed and spasmed as all your nerves felt like they were on fire and with a couple harsh thrusts of your clit against her toned thigh, the muscles rippling under the skin, you came undone, arching your back and clawing at hers as a string of profanities fell from your lips. Abby followed almost immediately after with a whimper before her body relaxed and she collapsed all of her weight on you. 

It had been rushed and passionate but all it did was confirm the loss of your feelings for her. Her fingers squeezing at your waist felt like knives, her breath on your chest felt ice cold and her weight on your body could have been a boulder crushing and suffocating you. All of the things you had loved about sex with her, loved about after sex with her, only made you hate her more. 

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧    

The day was quiet, you and Abby lounging together as Abby reads while you listen to endless records, music had always grounded you, given you something to focus on. 

“What are you reading?” You pressed. It was getting easier to act normal around her, it was easier to pretend when you knew it would be over soon. Good memories, that’s all you wanted to think about until you both laid to rest. 

“Medea, it’s a Greek tragedy. This wife goes kinda crazy because her husband ditched her for a younger woman. It’s a lot but it’s really good.” 

“You’re such a nerd.” She gasps and clutches her chest in feigned hurt. “Hey I never said it was a bad thing.” You both laughed and though there was a sadness in her eyes though she seemed normal with you, everything was going to plan. 

The day went on like this until you both turned in for the night as you and Abby both had patrol the next morning. You fell asleep with Abby’s arm over your waist as her back was pressed to your front. 

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧    

You were in the theatre, standing on the stage, silence enveloping the large room until hands came to wrap around your waist and a sharp chin found its place on your shoulder as the figure swayed you while pressing soft kisses to your neck. 

“I missed you.” They hummed into your skin. 

“I missed you too Ellie.” She spun you to face her and the smile creeping across her features was ethereal, a smile you wished you could see more of. Her lips were soft and warm as you each lowered yourselves to the ground, her pressing her weight into you as you wrapped your legs around her waist. The kiss was slow and sweet, an exploration, until she pulled away and it was no longer Ellie gazing down at you lovingly, it was Abby glaring at you with a fire in your eyes. 

“How could you do this to me?” She growled and you were frozen, completely paralysed with fear. ��I fucking loved you, you traitorous bitch, I’ll kill you for what you’ve done.” Her voice was now a scream as her hands wrapped around your throat and squeezed. She looked into your eyes and smiled as you felt her adjust her grip and within seconds you felt your neck shatter to pieces as she broke it like she would a twig, your body went numb and your surroundings faded to nothing. 

“Babe, wake up! You’re having a nightmare.” You could hear screaming, distant and quiet as hands shook you until your eyes flew open. “Hey it wasn’t real, it was a dream, you’re okay, you’re safe.” Abby’s calm voice sounded above you as you felt her arms wrap you in their grip, tears beginning to fall as what you had dreamt of dawned on you. 

I just need this feeling to end. 

“What happened babe?” Her sweet voice tickled your forehead where her lips rested. 

“I can’t even remember, fuck, thanks for waking me up.” The lie slipped out so easily, it was getting too easy to lie. You sniffled and cuddled into her desperately trying to push the dream out of your mind and make your lie the truth.  

a/n: Hi sorry for the hiatus but I am back and friends never pt23 is on its way also, I kinda hate this chapter and I'm sorry it's shorter but it's a bit of a filler chapter to move the story along so I apologise, hope you enjoyed anyway and see you in the next one!

tags: @emiliabby @liasxeatt @kawaiibreadbouquet-blog @tphmnv @a-little-bit-of-everybody @chrry1ovr @bready101 @euphternal @elliestwofingers @angelsrotation @drippyop

[sergeantsporks]

Dadrius Week 2024 Day 4: Separated/Free Space

“Darius is hiding something.”

Luz dumped Hunter’s bag on the floor of Eda’s spare room. “You don’t waste any time, do ya?”

“I know he is,” Hunter insisted, “He has to be.”

“He has to be?”

“Well, if he isn’t then—then—” Hunter gulped. “Then he’s mad at me.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I know he said him sending me away had nothing to do with me, and he wasn’t upset, but… I don’t know, I feel like maybe…”

“So, Darius is hiding something,” Luz interrupted firmly, “You think we can weasel it out of Eda?”

Hunter gave her a grateful smile. He didn’t like the alternative—and he couldn’t believe that Darius would send him away just for his health, not like this, where it wouldn’t make any difference. Surely he didn’t think Hunter was going to get mopey about it? It wasn’t like Darius had wanted to hurt him. And sure, he knew that had been Belos’ excuse, too, but this time, it was true.

Hunter shook himself, clearing away the uneasy thoughts. “Would he have even told her?”

“I mean, I don’t think Eda would just accept a call from Darius saying ‘hey, I’m leaving an extra kid with you, don’t ask why.’ Not that she’s not okay with you being here, but she’d for sure want an explanation.” Luz peered out the window, and sighed. “Which is probably why she’s booking it for town before we can ask her.”

“What?!” Hunter jumped up. “We need to—ooogh—” He sat back down, blinking hard and waiting for the wave of dizziness to pass. “Stood up too fast.”

“Yeah, I’m thinking you don’t need to be chasing anyone down, Mr. Blood Loss. You’re good.”

Hunter glared at his duffel bag. This was hardly the first time he’d dealt with losing too much blood, but it had been so long, he’d forgotten all the little things it stopped him from doing. He’d forgotten the dizzy spells, and the weakness, and most of all, he just did not remember the loss ever making him quite so tired. “What do we do? Wait for her to come back?”

“Wait for who?” Amity thumped in from the door, Ghost winding around her ankles. “I didn’t think I was that late.”

“Amity, hey!” Luz gave her a quick peck on the cheek. “We were going to interrogate Eda. Hunter thinks Darius is hiding something from him, and she has a clue.”

“You think it has something to do with why he visited my dad earlier? He was really annoyed about Darius disrupting his work. Complained about it all through lunch.”

Hunter sat up ramrod straight. “He visited Alador? He said he had an appointment with Steve! Why would he visit Alador? And why would he hide that from me?”

Luz wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. “Maybe he wanted you out of the house for a few days so he could have a romantic rendezvous with Amity’s dad.”

Hunter threw a pillow at her. “Serious theories only.” He scratched absently at the outside of his sling—his forearm itched. Had something gotten into the sling? “Doesn’t Viney work with your dad sometimes? Maybe she knows something.”

“Better let me message,” Luz volunteered, “You’re a slow enough typer with both hands.”

Hunter crinkled his nose at her, but surrendered his Penstagram scroll. “It just doesn’t make sense. What would have him running scared?”

“He said it was ‘for your health’, right?” Amity asked, “Maybe someone threatened you—that would be for your health, wouldn’t it?”

A chill ran down Hunter’s spine. He wasn’t ever helpless—and he could always teleport away from any danger if it came to that—but he was certainly more vulnerable right now than usual. If someone had threatened him… “No, that doesn’t add up, either. If someone threatened my life, wouldn’t Darius keep me closer than usual? Some things, I don’t think he’d trust to anyone, even to Eda.”

“Well—maybe the other way around, then. Someone threatened his life, and he wants to keep you safe and out of the way in case they try to carry out their threat.”

Okay, that Hunter could picture Darius doing. It was still a terrible idea—he’d be isolating himself, and negating the possibility of Hunter being able to actually help—but he could imagine it happening. In fact, he could imagine it happening so easily it made anger turn his gut. Darius wanted him to get the chance at a normal childhood, but that didn’t mean he needed to be treated like—well—someone who was actually a normal child.

“Maybe that’s where Eda went,” Luz suggested, “To help him defend himself.”

Hunter shook his head helplessly. “If he’s in danger, then he needs me!”

“I don’t want to be mean,” Amity started, “But… you’re not exactly very helpful right now. You’d just be someone else for him to worry about.”

“We need to figure out who’s threatening him,” Hunter continued, ignoring her, “Stop them at their base.”

“Uh-huh,” Luz agreed absently, “Uh… look at this and tell me it’s normal for Viney?”

She held the Penstagram scroll where Hunter could see the conversation.

Hey, Viney, you didn’t happen to see Darius today at your work-study, did you?

Viney’s reply was short, only four words: Don’t worry about it.

Claws of dread closed around Hunter’s throat. “That’s…”

“Suspicious,” Luz agreed, “Do you think someone’s threatening Viney, too? But why wouldn’t they threaten Amity’s dad?”

Hunter felt sick. “Because no one threatened Viney—Darius asked her to keep his secret. He didn’t think to ask Alador, because Alador doesn’t interact directly with me—or maybe he thought Alador would assume it applied to him as well—so Alador told Amity, and Amity told me.”

“Sounds like my dad,” Amity agreed, “So… do we think Viney’s a dead end, or do we think we can squeeze some information out of her?”

Hunter and Luz laughed at the same time. “Not Viney,” Luz told Amity, “We’d have better luck with a brick wall. Do you think your dad would catch on and clam up if you asked him more questions, or do you think he’d talk?”

Hunter stared out the window, Amity’s voice fading into a muted background. Darius was in trouble. He had to be. Hunter couldn’t accept that Darius wanted to be separated, that he wanted Hunter out of his life. Maybe a year ago, when they’d first started testing this arrangement out, he would have been insecure enough to immediately believe Darius was trying to get rid of him. Now? Sure, he’d thought about it. He’d entertained the idea that Darius might want a break from him. But he knew Darius wouldn’t leave him here forever. And now, Hunter was almost certain that Darius had to be in danger. He knew, deep down in his heart, in the space that used to believe Darius wanted him gone, that it was the truth.

“Hunter?”

Hunter’s head snapped up. “Mm?”

Luz crouched down next to him, her face pinched up in concern. “Are you feeling okay? You glazed over.”

Hunter rubbed his eyes. Maybe Darius was right to keep him out of the way. The worry and the occasional twinges of pain from his torn arm were the only things keeping him awake. “Yeah. I’m fine.”

Xxx

Darius pushed open the door to his house with a sigh. Even just knowing Hunter was gone made the whole place seem… empty. He hadn’t realized how much the kid filled the space until he kicked off his shoes and noted the empty space where Hunter’s perpetually muddy boots usually sat.

It’s not forever, he told himself, In a few days, he’ll be back. We won’t be separated for long.

His Penstagram notification pinged, and Darius picked it up. Alador. That hadn’t taken long. Darius snickered a little at the thought of Alador working at his problem tirelessly, even though he’d said it wasn’t his first priority.

Did a full analysis on that gem Steve brought. Viney’s correct: all three spells are still active. Including the mind-control spell. Find someone you trust to keep an eye on you, or come here where we can put you under observation until we figure out a way to reverse it. The spell’s definitely been weakened by the gem’s destruction, but it’s still there. Some other information we got out of it: it’s remarkably similar to the Collector’s puppetification spell, but definitely not their magic: it’s from this realm and this planet, but it’s not quite like the magic of our island, either. Finally, the draining spell activation is spread through direct contact with the gem. Anyone with a sigil who touches it will have their sigil activated in the same low-level way yours is. It’s siphoning the magic off somewhere, but we haven’t figured out the exact location just yet. If I had to guess, whoever slapped the gem on you was looking to infect as much of the isles as possible.

Darius frowned. That couldn’t be the only explanation for their motive. He wasn’t exactly a low-profile target; eyes were on him at all times. Sure, he saw a lot of people, and he could overpower most if necessary, but people would figure out something was wrong. Using an ordinary citizen, or someone who owned some kind of popular business would make more sense. And he’d been out in the middle of the woods—prime ambushing territory to be sure, but not exactly somewhere he’d have immediate access to other people. Maybe they’d wanted to get complete control over him while he was isolated in the woods?

But more importantly… had Hunter touched the gem with his bare hand? Darius tried to think back, tried to remember if Hunter had been wearing gloves or not, but all he could picture was the blood and Hunter’s pale face.

Would the draining spell even affect him? He didn’t have magic—would it just block his ability to teleport? Or would it be even worse for him, somehow? Darius growled to himself. He wished Hunter were here so that he could just ask about the gloves. Maybe he could go to Eda’s and make sure Hunter was alright—but if the mind-control spell was still active, then Hunter wasn’t safe from him.

No. No, he needed to check on Hunter. Keeping this conspiracy from hurting him was his top priority, and he couldn’t trust Hunter not to play off any symptoms he had as not a big deal. They never should have separated.

Check on Hunter, go to Alador, lock myself in a magic-proof cell until this is figured out.

Easy as fairy pie.

[coeurcanelle]

☆Baby,the stars shine bright☆pt6

pt5

inspired by the 'kamikaze girls',♡ always had unconditional love for lolita fashion and nothing else but when she met ellie,an auburn haired girl whos part of a gang with a dad's fashion sense ,her love for clothes begins to compete with her growing feelings for ellie

strangers to friends to lovers,love-hate friendship,opposite aesthetics,early 2000s

wlw,fluff

wc:8k

loud scream was heard all around the house, immediately waking up Ellie. The bed was empty beside her, and you were nowhere to be seen in her room, so she ran to search for you.

Mars ran away from the bathroom door, using the chairs in the living room as her hiding spot. Ellie's eyes drifted from her cat to the bathroom door. She approached it, turning the doorknob while imagining the worst.

There she found you.

"wat's wrong with you? don't tell me you got jumpscared by a spider or something."

Mixed emotions washed over her: relief and confusion. She hated waking up to clock alarms, but your screaming was by far the worst. She was even more puzzled seeing you standing next to the large mirror, holding the same bonnet you wore yesterday.

"it's worse than that," your voice filled with sorrow, making Ellie furrow her eyebrows in confusion. Only her fear of spiders could make her scream like that. But when you clearly showed her the small holes in your bonnet, she didn't need any clearer explanation for your reaction.

Your ears quickly turned red when you saw Ellie raising one eyebrow at you; you might have overreacted. "sorry, but if you think about it, it's not entirely my fault."

Ellie scoffed. How was she to blame?

It was you who fell on your own that night you both left the casino. If you didn’t call her the names you did, she wouldn’t have chased after you. She didn't need to lift a finger to make you regret your words, not when gravity became your worst enemy at that moment.

"you're such a drama queen. Just get a new one. Besides, what's done is done. At least next time you'll watch your mouth before calling me stupid names." Her hand still reached to grab your bonnet, wanting to know if it was that badly messed up for you to react so negatively.

"you sure don't get anything in fashion. It was a limited edition, dumbass." You handed the accessory to her. Since it had gotten into a mediocre state, its worth was now reduced to nothing to you. It would finally meet its destined fate and be thrown in the trash.

Carefully, Ellie inspected your item and even tried to slide her fingers through the small holes.

"well, you're definitely not a smartass for wearing this AND trying to annoy the shit out of me." Her fingers swiftly passed through the holes; she wiggled them at you, doing a good job of pissing you off.

It was just morning, and you could already feel grumpiness sticking with you all day.

You snatched your bonnet out of Ellie's hands, earning a smug grin from her that you couldn't snatch away from her face. "you're so fucking immature."

All you wanted to do was to go home and start all of this over, wishing for a miracle and hoping to find the exact same bonnet in any nearby shops.

"you can't call me that too." Ellie crossed her arms and blocked the way out of the bathroom so you couldn't leave, even if you truly didn't want to.

You were for sure overreacting, and Ellie wasn't going to let you be all grumpy to her, not when she thought of a solution to help you and not when both of you spent a dreamlike night yesterday.

The clock was ticking 9 am, signaling it was her breakfast time, but the only thing she needed at the moment was that smile of yours to make a comeback.

So she suggested: '"you know what, I'll let that slide because you're-your hat's cute."

"bonnet" you corrected.

"whatever. Just give it to me. I don't know anyone around who can do it for free, so I'll try to fix it up."Her words were anything but convincing to you. "plus, embroidery is like stitching someone up except with fabric. I'm sure I can do this with my eyes closed." she sounded more confident until she saw reluctance reappearing on your face at the last sentence.

"It's fine"*you're going to mess it up even more* you carefully didn't add.

Ellie wanted to help, and she started to get desperate. Fashion wasn't something she was particularly interested in, but she was certainly interested in you.

The way your face would beam at the sight of Lolita dresses, the way you'd work hard (scam) to get money for the sole purpose of upgrading your wardrobe, and the way you looked in the clothes you liked didn't go unnoticed by Ellie,in fact,there was nothing else she liked more than seeing you happy.

It was at this moment she also realized your connection was so strong she started to match your emotions too, and the last thing she wanted right now was to feel sad because you did.

"just give me one chance," she said, letting herself get carried away by the waves of love and affection. It was undoubted that she would do anything for you. "and if it doesn't look fashionable enough, you can lock me in your basement and leave me dying of hunger and boredom."

Your lips curved into a smile at the inside joke. "you're lucky I'm not as unhinged as you", after debating whether or not you should let Ellie fix your bonnet, you reluctantly gave it to her to put an end to her persistence, but not without lessening your worries.

Ellie was thankful that you trusted her, and now that your bonnet's future was placed in her hands, with hope and determination, she would give it to you all fixed up to thank you back.

"damn, you can't take a joke, can you? I don't even have a basement and even if I did— i mean..do you see me doing this kind of stuff? thats just fucking crazy. What kind of psycho would do that just for getting scammed?"Her tone was exaggeratedly bewildered as if it was something morally unthinkable, as if she didn't joke about it last night.

"It doesn't sound that unbelievable since you did think about it." Your arms crossed and you straightened your back. You recalled Ellie's serious face from last night and how she easily sent shivers down your spine. Your opinion today hasn't changed; you still found her kinda hot. "trust me, those psychos think exactly like you. They're just a little more deranged."

A sigh escaped her lips as she inspected your item, using her imagination to figure out how to sew the small holes. But if you kept teasing her, she would start to reconsider helping you.

"you can play this spot-the-difference game and all you want. You could do the same with your hat and Joel's socks once I'm done fixing it."

Yesterday, when you passed through the kitchen, the open windows offered a view of the small garden outside. The hung-up clothes slightly moved back and forth with the wind, and a few holey socks were strongly attached to the cord.

Now you know who they belonged to.

"please don't."

☆°☆•°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°

With eyebrows pulled together, focused eyes, and gentle yet ineffective movements, Ellie’s determination wasn’t enough against her lack of experience. Many things that looked easy often revealed themselves to be the complete opposite.

Some stitches were too tight while others were too loose; Ellie had difficulty hand-sewing up the hole.

You both had left Joel's house to head to your own, not expecting to see your dad bringing people into the house too. It turned out he had finally found a job—something that wasn’t drastically different from what he used to do before but made him satisfied. However, you never imagined he’d once find money through being a fortune teller. But only a scammer like him didn’t mind looking absurd while predicting obvious events that eventually occur in everyone’s life.

You had led Ellie to your room at the end of the corridor and now you were sitting at the edge of your bed, with your face resting in the palm of your hand when you weren’t leaning over your desk, taking a closer look at what she was doing.

If it wasn’t for her kindness and how adorable she looked, you would have definitely taken back your bonnet already, not letting her continue her terrible job at pushing the thread in and out.

Since it was her first time doing something like this, she judged the uneven stitches to be fine, while you grimaced at the sight of them.

After finishing one hole, Ellie turned to you and held the bonnet up to you expectantly.

Your lips pressed into a thin line quickly formed an embarrassed smile.

You didn’t know what to say.

“is my work so good it got you speechless, or you don’t wanna say anything because you envy my skills?” Her grin was cocky despite her awful work. You had to do something about it (both her cockiness and her work).

“I’ll give it a 2/10 for effort and also because it’s your first try.” Your bluntness instantly made her cocky grin disappear, her lips pressed into a thin line instead.

“never meaner... and why not 3?” Ellie asked for justification. She had spent a hot minute trying to copy what you had shown her, but she couldn’t even get through the basics.

You wanted to laugh at her desperation. “maybe you’re right, I should reconsider...” You pretended to think as you put your finger on your chin, not surprising Ellie with your comeback, “1/10.”

“alright, for effort or first try?” she asked as if your answer was going to have life-changing consequences.

“whatever helps you sleep at night,” you shrugged your shoulders and tried to think of what to do with your ruined accessory. Now that Ellie had tried to help, you didn’t want it to end its life in the trash. “I’ll do it myself, I can’t stand seeing my bonnet like this.”

“then sit,” she didn’t fail to make you roll your eyes at her, smirking in return.

After giving it some thought—something Ellie is highly unlikely to do—you carefully removed the thread Ellie had stitched on the hole, throwing away 30 minutes of hard work and determination.

You told her you had another idea when you heard her dramatic gasp, and all she could do was trust the process.

As your hands were busy hand-sewing, your mind brought you back to a memory that still felt like a vivid dream.

The scent of Ellie on her clothes that you were wearing, her playing the melody of your favorite song, and her strong arms embracing you.

You slightly shook your head.

No.

One thing was in fact from a vivid dream.

At least you still got to wear her clothes, get her to play your favorite song for you, and even gaze at the stars while your heartbeats rhythmically synced.

However, you couldn’t ignore the painful pang in your chest when you remembered her embracing you with affection was just a dream.

You wanted her to hold you like this in real life too.

Once again, you shook your head to arrange your thoughts.

You were so crazy about her that the lines between imagination and reality uncontrollably started to blur!

Then 1... 2, and soon 5 petals were meticulously sewn around the hole. You had never thought of doing something so original before; maybe it was because you felt Ellie’s attentive gaze on you.

You made sewing look so easy while she struggled to get one stitch right.

Thoughts like "maybe if I'm better at this, I could make her like me more" resurfaced in Ellie’s head again.

At first, it was envy, but her admiration for you made her gradually seek approval from you, which wasn’t any easier.

Her mind was still filled with the newfound memories of yesterday: how good you looked in her clothes, the way your eyes would sparkle under the moonlight, and the sound of your uncontrollable laughter when she’d tell you something stupid. This was the recipe for making her heart melt. Words weren’t enough to perfectly describe how happy she felt, knowing she was the reason behind your bright smile.

One night wasn’t enough to satisfy her; she wanted to spend as much time with you as possible.

Maybe tonight you could hopefully recreate yesterday again, even better?

Caught staring at you, Ellie snapped her thoughts away and drifted her eyes away from you.

You had noticed Ellie’s devotion to proving herself to you, but you were against it, believing this whole comparing thing was pointless when you liked her just the way she was.

“there are about 2 holes left,” you stated, reaching your hand out for Ellie to grab your bonnet. “here, take the needle. I’ll teach you how to make flower petals instead.”

Ellie’s hand didn’t budge, and you saw the hesitation in her eyes. “bet you could do this with your eyes closed after some time,” you added before taking her hand to place your unfinished accessory in it.

She scoffed as her eyes glanced at what she was holding, the pressure to be successful coming back “I don’t think you actually want me to do that.”

“hey, you might be slow, but you’ll get the hang of it at some point,” you reassured her.

You always believed that humans were gifted with potential; they just tended to limit themselves.

Plus, it wouldn’t hurt to have something handmade from the girl you liked. “Also, my hands are getting sore.”

“so, you’re basically using me? didnt know you were like this” she exclaimed with a smirk.

“you literally begged to help me.”

"omg, I literally didn’t... why’d you—I wasn’t even that desperate.”

And the teasing went on and on until she started to turn her attention back to your bonnet.

☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°

Once again, getting attention was something you were used to by now. You've seen so few people wearing lolita clothes that you could count them on one hand, so it was a normal reaction for people to curiously stare at you. Hence, you brushed it off when you felt the employee from your favorite clothing shop's eyes on you.

"maybe it's been a while since she last had a customer," you thought.

Totally lost in your own world, you shuffled through the stunning dresses crafted with luxurious fabrics and adorned with intricate lace, pearls, and embroidery details that were to die for.

Since Joel didn't want to spend his time shopping at the convenience store, he had sent you and Ellie with a list of things that mostly consisted of food. But after you were done with the task Joel had given you, you couldn’t wait any longer to visit the Baby, the Stars Shine Bright shop nearby, which you judged to be the best shop to ever exist in the world.

After taking a quick look at their newest collection in their showcases, you didn't waste a single second and stepped in.

Ellie aimlessly followed you around, carrying the plastic bag containing your groceries with one hand and holding yours with the other, languidly dragging her feet.

After finding your happiness, you headed towards the cashier. Faint dimples appeared on both sides of her cheeks as she smiled, enlightened to see you again. You dropped Ellie's hand as you paid for a brand new white headband, and the same employee from earlier approached you, as pleasant as the cashier, but her staring started to make you self-conscious.

"is there anything else you need, miss?" she asked, her eyes not leaving your bonnet. You readjusted it a bit nervously.

"that will be all for today, thank you" you returned an awkward smile. The employee felt sorry for her persistent gaze, but she needed to take a closer look at your accessory.

"is this bonnet purchased from here?" The employee thought it was strongly similar to one bonnet from their previous collection, except it didn't have embroidered flower petals adorning it.

She received a silent response with a positive nod from you, and you suddenly became shy.

The employee rapidly called another worker, "regina, come here, you have to look at this!"

In just a span of seconds, you became the center of attention of the whole place. Everyone was looking and pointing at the details on your bonnet, still sitting at the top of your head.

They were women with taste, and you hoped the surprise painting their faces didn't mean something about the retouches looking horrendous.

A feeling of reassurance washed over you when they started to praise you.

"beautiful, beautiful!"

"did you make this yourself? You truly are talented!"

"i wish I was this creative and knew how to do embroidery as well," they all exclaimed enthusiastically as their eyes shifted from your creation to your face repeatedly, admiring your bonnet like it was a piece of art displayed in a far-famed museum.

You were far from accustomed to getting praises, and Ellie wondered why they were all acting so excited over an accessory.

But when you told them she had helped you fix your bonnet up, all eyes turned to her, flattering her with praises as well.

One of the employees managed to get the boss out of his office upstairs, leading him to you.

It felt like time instantly stopped.

You couldn't believe what was happening.

The CEO of your favorite clothing brand, walking up to you?

It must be a dream, right?

You were too busy trying to distinguish your imagination from reality to react when he asked if he could take a closer look, suggesting you hand your bonnet to him.

Your legs suddenly felt heavy, and your vision started to darken though you had your eyes open.

You weren't here.

"wow, this is beyond wonderf-" The man didn't even have time to compliment your work before you helplessly fainted on the floor.

Alarm bells went off in Ellie’s mind. Standing beside you, she rushed down to catch your head before it could harshly hit the 'white tile,' blaming your sudden unconscious state on the tall man.

"what a reaction for a burst of joy," she sighed as she slightly shook you in an attempt to bring you back to her.

☆°☆°☆°☆•°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°

It didn't take long to wake up, but wake up from what? Because right now, you could literally say you're living a dream.

Ellie's heart returned to its normal pace. "are you alright?" she softly asked, brushing a strand of your hair behind your ear to see your awakened face more clearly.

"yeah." The realization that you had fainted in front of everyone, especially the CEO of your favorite shop, made you extremely embarrassed. After a moment, you slowly stood up, cleared your throat, and turned to the girl who had just saved your life. "you?"

Your unnecessary concern for Ellie elicited a light chuckle from her. "thanks for asking, but you're the one who nearly passed out here."

The whole room was filled with awkward and short laughs. The feeling of embarrassment flashed across your face once again, and you refused to look ahead and meet the eyes of the man who had created the source of your happiness.

Your fixed bonnet was still held by his hands. His eyes darted from you to it, with many questions eager for answers popping into his mind.

Curiosity bubbled up inside him as he wondered how one's mind could go that far and how you and your friend had created such a wonderful replica of what you had just imagined. His mind was like bubbles of curiosity ready to explode.

He carefully approached you and Ellie, offering you praise and asking various questions.

Ellie's eyes never left your face, studying every single feature as you did your best to answer as clearly as possible. Her heart swelled uncontrollably with warmth when you'd mention her helping you a lot.

After what seemed like a lifetime to Ellie, he finished interviewing you both.

He just needed one thing from you.

The sight of his hopeful and impatient eyes made your heart burn with anticipation. You tried to control your breathing, which quickened its pace, refusing to succumb to the menacing fainting.

"with an imagination and talent like yours, it would be regretful for it to go to waste," he stated, reaching out to return your item. But he didn't hand it to you when your hands nervously grabbed for it. "I wish to hire you as an embroiderer. What do you think?"

Your mind was flooded with racing thoughts about working here.

It seemed like the ideal workplace, but was it truly your ideal job?

"I just love wearing cute clothes, not necessarily making them," you confessed after a moment of silence. The female employees exchanged glances, curiosity on their faces as they wondered why such a talented person would pass up such a fortunate opportunity.

Refusing to let this be your final words, Ellie gently touched your shoulder, encouraging you to step out of your comfort zone. "are you serious? Do you realize i know how to do embroidery thanks to you? me...someone who couldn't even hold a needle without shaking and pricking my finger" Ellie took your hand, squeezing it as she urged, "this is your chance, dont fuck it up"

Refusing wasn’t an option when such a suggestion came from the CEO of your all-time favorite brand, but hearing the desperation in Ellie’s voice made you accept right away.

Working in your favorite place, surrounded by stunning dresses and accessories, and earning money from it was literally a dream job. To you, it wasn't as if he was asking you for something but rather offering you a present. You told him you could work from 8 to 6, Monday to Friday.

His eyebrows furrowed in refusal, and he thoughtfully reduced the amount of work hours since you were currently on summer break.

And just like that, you left the shop with the same smile you entered with, except it was slightly wider and brighter than usual. The realization that this dream-like moment was indeed a reality would hit you later.

You walked down the streets with ellie,both of you not knowing where to go and just mindlessly following each other.

"uh, where exactly are we going right now?" Ellie questioned, her eyes squinting at the bright sunlight directly assaulting her face.

"I don't know. I was following you." You stopped mid-track and tried to put your mind on pause. The scenes from earlier replayed in your head non-stop.

"don't freak out, but I kinda don't have a sense of direction when it comes to wandering in places I don't know." A tired sigh escaped from Ellie's mouth. When she turned around, she couldn't even recognize where you both had come from.

But this place wasn't more unrecognizable than you. It felt like your soul had left your body since you passed out, that it had stayed in 'Baby, the Stars Shine Bright,' and that you were now working on autopilot.

Ellie's eyes fell on the white summer houses around you. With such little details to distinguish them from one another, they all looked awfully similar.

Silence reigned over the avenue, unlike your mind, which was anything but quiet at this moment. "ellie," she directly shifted her gaze from the houses to you, more worried about your overwhelmed state than the fact that you were lost. "god is real."

Pure confusion replaced her worry in a split second. "what the fuck are you on? I told you, you should never try smoking."

"listen, I'm serious." Your hands found their way to her shoulders, an attempt to make her carefully listen to you. "I received his blessings, and since I'm blessed and you're my friend, it means you can be too."

If she wasn't sober right now, maybe she would have taken you a little bit more seriously.

"friend?" Her voice carried genuine surprise; she realized she forgot to ask you what you both were after last night.

"so I would be cursed if I happened to be your girlfriend?" She tried to hide her genuine surprise with sarcasm and get a possible hint from you.

Her delusional side convinced her you were her soon-to-be girlfriend, that you followed her around because you loved her, and that your love language was annoying her,secretly liking the way she looks when you succeeded.

"what? no, I mean—my point is..." Ellie's heart felt less heavy seeing you avoiding eye contact suddenly, her lips curving into a proud smile knowing the effects she had on you. "I'll help you find the founder of your gang. I can also sew your gang's name on your jacket sleeve."

At first, she didn't know why. But the pieces of the puzzle started to connect together as she realized she was your only friend.

"you don't have to look for some designer to do it for you," you continued.

It was like playing baseball with her being good at throwing the ball and you not knowing how to properly catch it.

When Ellie was openly affectionate to you, you didn't know how to receive it.

Ellie smiled a bit. "Are you sure you don't mind doing it? I mean...no pressure, okay?"

How could you know how to receive love when you didn't even know what it was to begin with?

Your parents separated when you hadn't even hit puberty, and no amount of romance novels could make up for the lack of experience of a strong and passionate bond between people in love.

For this reason, you never truly knew what that feeling was.

To make things worse, whenever you felt yourself falling for something close to love, you would unforgivingly push it and the person involved away.

Even though your mom had cheated on your father, she was still the one who had welcomed you to this world. The guilt has never left you when you chose to live with your dad over your mom, although he was a good and loving person.

You couldn't put a face onto the word 'love,' and it gradually became meaningless to you, an unfamiliar word you'd come across when flipping pages in a dictionary. But as time went by, you had rediscovered it and put clothes onto it that were also the definition of your happiness.

"I want to do it for you," you smiled back.

But if all of this was in a book, Ellie would be the major plot twist. Her definition of happiness was short and precise: you.

Ellie reached her hand out to take yours, giving it a gentle squeeze. " 'kay, if you're in, you have to promise me something."

Love hurts when one-sided. If her definition of happiness was you, she had to change your definition of happiness and add herself in it too.

If you've never learned how to receive affection, that's okay. She'd proudly volunteer to teach you and only you.

"promise me," her eyes bore into yours expectantly, "that you'll never leave me."

Because, from you, she's learned that it wasn't impossible for love to go with happiness and that pain could step out of their business.

At least, that's how she felt about you.

"of course, I promise." You stuck out your pinkie, but to your surprise, Ellie didn't.

Instead, she wrapped her arms around you before pulling you into her embrace.

Your warm hearts beat faster in sync by the second, exploding in affection.

Except Ellie's heart missed a beat when you hugged her back. She never knew she needed it until now.

Her hair smelled like vanilla, and her body felt so warm against yours.

Both of you stayed like that for God knows how long. You had lost the notion of time, and it was the least of your concerns at this moment.

Her arms were over your shoulder, a sign that she deeply trusted you.

Pulling you out of your reverie, a red Suzuki Wagon drove past the both of you. Your arms stayed on hers for a little longer, an unspoken and double-meaning promise that you'd never let her go even if she did.

It seemed the car came from the same place you both were, meaning you weren't totally lost.

So after turning on your heels, both of you started to walk your way out of the unknown avenue, hand in hand.

In the end, everything turned out fine, and you soon found your way back to Tokyo.

This time,despite the comfortable silence it was ellies mind who couldnt keep quiet.

Her giddy smile not leaving her face ever since she wrapped her arms around you,as well as the warmth in her heart.

For how long will she able to keep her feelings locked in her heart?

Though your hug meant an unbreakable promise bonding you two,she hoped it also meant something more.

She cleared her throat,when you both stopped at the train station,it was surprisingly sparse of people for such a busy time.

"so like...you have a thing for tall guys or...?"

The sight of the tall man holding your bonnet in admiration and you fainting right after this flashed before your eyes"oh my god shut up"you retorted,rolling your eyes at her whose eyes shortly sparkled with hope.

☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°

This time, despite the comfortable silence, it was Ellie’s mind that couldn’t keep quiet. Her giddy smile hadn’t left her face ever since she wrapped her arms around you, and warmth filled her heart.

For how long would she be able to keep her feelings locked away?

Though your hug symbolized an unbreakable promise bonding you two, she hoped it also meant something more.

She cleared her throat as you both stopped at the train station, surprisingly sparse of people for such a busy time. “so like… do you have a thing for tall guys or…?”

The sight of the tall man holding your bonnet in admiration, and you fainting right after, flashed before your eyes. “oh my god, shut up,” you retorted, rolling your eyes at her, whose eyes shortly sparkled with hope.

☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°

“…but still… you’ve never fainted like that when you first saw me.”

After stopping at Joel’s to drop off what you had bought before, both you and Ellie returned to your house, which was quieter than usual.

Your empty schedule became busy in the blink of an eye. With a brand new simple white dress needing final touches and the famous gang name to sew in under three days, there wasn’t a single second to waste. Not to mention that traveling across the country to find the mysterious gang founder was also on your ambitious list.

“why would I?”

Turning your attention away from the jacket sleeve, your eyes shifted to Ellie instead.

“maybe 'cause I carry a tremendous amount of swagger like nobody else can in this world,” her voice sarcastically filled with confidence. She said this like it was an obvious fact, and you couldn’t really disagree.

Someone who clearly doesn’t know what they’re doing but lets themselves be guided by adrenaline and curiosity. Someone who doesn’t mind taking risks as if their life could be restarted by passing a video game checkpoint. Someone who didn’t mind getting lost in the most unknown places as long as it was with you.

As much as you tried to think, no words could perfectly describe Ellie’s unequaled aura.

But you weren’t going to let her know that, not when you liked teasing her so much. “you’re still not the CEO of Baby, the Stars Shine Bright.”

“you’re right,” she started before looking away, gathering inspiration from her heart. “But I’m the CEO of making you smile.” You proved her point as your lips immediately curved into one, as if her words put a spell on you.

“It shines brighter than any star too,” she added with a playful wink, mentally cheering for having the courage to compliment you. It was a small, yet hopefully significant, step forward in what you both had.

Her words flew straight to your heart, coloring it red because of the blood but also because of your newborn love.

The transition from liking to loving Ellie had started the night you spent stargazing with her.

And now you could no longer carelessly brush off her flirtiness, not anymore.

Her compliments were seriously starting to make you feel things.

Ellie’s eyes didn’t miss yours trying to push away the effects she had on you.

“did you train yourself in the mirror say this one too?” you asked.

It seemed you dodged Cupid’s bow again. “why? Is it a crime to be a natural flirt?”

“It’s far from natural; it almost sounded scripted.” your voice dripping with sarcasm as usual

The truth is if you followed her, borrowing the path of truth, you’d end up either literally confessing your feelings or shyly stammering on your words and making her childish smirk come back.

And above all, teasing was more fun.

“your reaction didn’t seem like it followed a script though,” a soft chuckle followed her words. Before you could turn back your attention to the dress in front of you, she reached her hands out of her pockets to direct your turning chair towards her. “I think you just can’t flirt back, so you talk shit. Just admit I’m a smooth talker and you like it. It doesn’t hurt.”

There was a small gap between you, and when you turned to look at Ellie’s face, her kissable lips formed a smirk and her eyebrows waggled together.

Her sudden proximity made time stop, and the soft music playing in the background faded as you felt your heartbeat getting louder.

An unfamiliar feeling bubbled up in your stomach, something that seemed ready to explode as her gaze on you intensified.

Your body reacted before your mind, and her chest met your hand. Ellie understood she would cross the line if she leaned closer.

You kept her eyes on hers. "it does.it hurts my ego and pride." Ellie obviously understood your sarcasm—not because it's part of your nature, but because she also paints her buried feelings with jokes.

She took a few steps back before you could add another layer of satire, her eyes not leaving yours even when they looked away from hers.

"but objectively speaking, you're charming with your words."The honesty contrasting with your previous words made her snicker.

Today, at 5:36 pm, an hour when she usually lets herself be consumed by boredom, a new memory was engraved in her mind, and she wouldn't forget to write it down in her journal once back home.

Her heart would swell with joy as she'd quoe you calling her charming. Her stomach would birth butterflies as she'd remember this compliment coming from a pretty face.

But with a closed mouth to keep quiet and not make Joel think she'd gone crazy. Even though that was kind of the case.

"shut up, that's nothing but objective." Ellie scratched the back of her head, being the one avoiding eye contact now that your eyes peered at hers.

"don't your friends think the same when you flirt like that?" A natural flirter, smart and beautiful, kicking ass to do justice—to you, Ellie was an all-in-one, and you wouldn't be surprised to learn that she made other girls feel special too.

That you were just, hopefully not, one of her other friends.

"I don't flirt with them."

Whether it was the truth or a lie, a part of you wanted to believe her anyway. Maybe that was another effect, a result of her irresistible charm.

☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°

Overthinking was one of your worst habits, controlling your mind and replaying your most embarrassing conversations on a loop.

The best way you could have replied to Ellie complimenting your smile could have been simply thanking her and returning the compliment.

WHY DID YOU NOT THINK ABOUT THIS EARLIER?

You wanted to hide your face in your hands as unanswered 'whys' and 'hows' progressively took over your mind.

It felt like losing the 'Who Wants to Be a Millionaire' game over the most evident and unmistakable question.

Except you weren't losing money but Ellie's interest, but that's just what you thought.

Suddenly, the same girl you've been thinking about spoke up again. Ellie's voice was a remedy to your overthinking; it was seemingly curious since a hint of interest influenced her tone. "do you ever look at guys and get... i dont know, like you find them so attractive you want to hug and everything... maybe ki-'

With a swift move, you pulled one thread out of Ellie's jacket sleeve. The details on the dress were unfinished; switching up between sewing the jacket sleeve and the dress so you could finish them both by your deadline was much smarter and also because doing repetitive things bored you.

After hearing her words and the mention of men, you stopped sewing for a second. "ew, why?'

"just asking"she snickered when your first reaction was disgust.

He appeared again. The man selling most of the clothes you had in your closet. The same man who praised your job at embroidery and who now wanted you to work with him. You physically shook your head to mentally shake the thoughts of him away.

"I'm not into him, okay? It just felt like meeting a celebrity; it's hard to control your emotions,"you clarified. You loved his work, not him.

"but in general? does it ever... happen? Idk how to make it not sound weird" Ellie started to fidget with her fingers, her black nails painted by you. Her mind took her back to yesterday again when she'd admire you whenever your sparkling eyes were fixated on the moon, wishing you were thinking about her too.

"it sounds weird no matter how you put it. But no, I guess puberty came late to me."

" 'mkay."

Before turning your attention back to her jacket sleeve, you caught Ellie nodding, putting her hands back in her pockets casually, turning her face away to forcefully stop her lips from forming a smile.

For the first time in her life, she believed in luck.

"you?" The initial of Ellie's gang name started to take form as you repeatedly pulled the golden yellow thread in and out of the fabric.

"ew, no, I'm not interested either. Just thinking about it grosses me out."Her brutally honest answer made you chuckle softly; you weren't that much different after all.

"really? Even if I was a man?"you joked.

"yeah, plus you couldn't even get to wear those dresses and stuff. Just seeing you wearing formal clothes to fit in with everyone else would feel weird."

She tried to imagine you wearing casual clothes or anything not extravagant in general, and you laughed at her unpleasant expression.

"that's funny to think I'd finally look normal for some people,"you said between laughs, and Ellie joined you in your laughter.

Now that you think about it, it was a pretty rare occurrence for you to wear something other than lolita clothes.

You paused and put the needle down before turning to Ellie.

"do you want to see how I used to dress before? It doesn't look that weird, trust me."

After last night, the magical night you spent over at Ellie's, you can officially say things changed.

Your past self would definitely not recognize you now for trusting someone enough to have the courage to show a different version of yourself.

"my brain does that thing when it erases traumatic memories, so you're fine."you rolled your eyes at her teasing tone, her jokes getting more creative as time went by.

"that was backhanded, wasn't it?"

Ellie shrugged her shoulders as she smirked, her impatience growing stronger as she followed you out of your room.

"whatever helps you sleep at night.'"

In the corridor, you slid open a door, keeping the boxes of furniture inside, and tipped onto your toes to reach the medium cardboard box

The dust that had accumulated on top of it over the years, quickly flew away as you brushed it off, before opening what had been closed for God knows how long.

The "you" that was once buried to give birth to the "you" now resurfaced.

Ellie grabbed a few pictures before you could change your mind.

Smiling and chuckling at how different you looked compared to now, she carefully scanned all the pictures in front of her, noticing one thing that had never changed.

"I gotta say... you still look so fucking cute."

Your brain stopped functioning at her words.

Her eyes darted from the pictures to yours, not really expecting you to respond to her compliments, just admiring your flustered reaction.

You tried to think of a response that wouldn’t make you cringe when you overthought it later.

Those words, coming from someone infinitely prettier, whose eyes regarded you like you were a masterpiece belonging in a museum, whose arms made you feel like home, held significantly deeper and more impactful meaning. It was as if Ellie knew what she was doing to you and wanted your heart to explode just for her.

To her, it was just a matter of time before you completely let yourself fall for her, unaware that it was already the case.

"thanks,you’re cuter though," you smiled back at her.

But if time really isn't real, then she would learn to be patient, knowing you'd be timeless.

☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°

It was Ellie's turn to sleep over at your house.

Despite wanting to stay awake a little longer, both of you found yourselves surrendering to unconsciousness faster than last time.

Imaginations and dreams enveloped your restless minds, quieting them down.

The smell of breakfast was more effective than an alarm clock at waking you up.

Your body was as cold as the inside of a fridge since Ellie kept unconsciously pulling the covers over her.

After warming up with some tea and filling your stomach with fluffy pancakes, you and Ellie continued with your day separately.

After spending two full days with her, her sudden absence felt strange, but you decided to put this feeling aside and focus on your new job to avoid having a wallet as empty as Ellie’s absence.

Sewing fabrics here and there to train yourself before working on the actual dress and jacket sleeve.

Walking back and forth around your room thoughtfully.

You spent most of your time sighing in frustration, as creativity refused to show up at your door.

Staring at the unfinished project in front of you, without new ideas in mind, began to take an awful toll on you.

Roses, tulips, and other flowers floated in your thoughts.

If there was one thing you wished for right now, it would be for your imagination to be as abundant as the richness of nature.

So, you ventured closer to nature and away from your trapped thoughts, wandering aimlessly around the nearest park while trying to empty your mind and let creativity flow naturally.

After a while, with plenty of walking and silent contemplation, your watch ticked to 5 PM. It was almost evening, but the sun was still shining in the sky, illuminating the blue lake beside you.

Ellie once told you that the reason the sea looks blue is because of the reflection of the sky.

A few ducks flew above the water before landing.

Some ducks swam in another direction, leaving two of their companions alone. They didn’t seem to mind the others had left, focused on swimming their own path, just the two of them.

Eventually, you dragged your feet out of the park, leaving your energy behind. A place as energizing as nature had unexpectedly drained you because no matter what you did, you always thought of her.

Whether she was around or not, Ellie lived in your mind rent-free.

When you contemplated the sky,the moon wasn’t out yet, so you stole one last glance at the lake.

Maybe you shouldn’t give up now; doing so would mean your entire day would have gone to waste.

Not to mention,facing complaints instead of praises from the CEO of your favorite shop would surely tear your heart into pieces.

So you called her.

You took your phone and dialed her number, biting your lip in hope she would respond.

Desperation was overpowering you, and Ellie clearly noticed it.

“what’s wrong?” her voice slightly modified by her phone.

A moment of silence passed as you repeated in your head what you wanted to say.

"everything,” you look pitiful.

“nothing,” you're wasting her time.

“are you busy right now?” just go straight to the point.

“I miss you,” too honest.

Ellie patiently waited for you to speak up, leaning her arms on the railing of the bridge, eyes peering at the lake while inhaling deeply.

“I need your help.”

Her eyebrows instantly furrowed in worry; you usually tried to handle things on your own, and it was unusual for you to directly ask for her help. “where are you?”

You had been wandering away from the park for so long that you didn’t even realize where you were heading. The area you found yourself in was sparse of people, resembling an abandoned train station with overgrown herbs on the rails.

When you sat on a bench, you heard an engine roaring toward you.

Ellie saw you alone on the bench, and your face instantly beamed at the sight of her arrival.

She parked her motorcycle next to the entrance of the train station and carefully crossed the rails, making her way to you.

“I’m away for one day, and you’re already missing me?”

You didn’t even have the energy to roll your eyes at her cocky smile; her words were harshly true.

Suddenly, the temperature began to cool down, signaling that evening was approaching. Ellie locked eyes with you, intently listening as you ranted about your struggles with creativity. As an artist herself, she thought of creativity like a battery that often needed recharging.

The thing was, Ellie was your recharger. Talking with her and spending time together felt like a mental cleanse, refreshing your mind. Her absence felt so unfamiliar to both your heart and your brain.

Asking for her help made her smile blissfully, unable to describe how happy she felt to spend time with you again.

Without hesitation, she took your hand right after you finished your monologue, bringing you to a familiar place—the one holding your best memories. Among them, searching for your bag with Ellie was your favorite so far.

So far, because you believed the future held even more thrilling and joyful memories with her.

Most of the stores still had the "open" sign in their showcases, including "Baby, the Stars Shine Bright."

Unexpectedly, you refused to let your inspiration come from the clothing brand you were now working for.

"You said you're on a creativity block," Ellie said, her confused eyes meeting your self-assured ones.

The CEO of this brand had praised your work for its originality, something he had never seen before. "exactly, so we need to think outside the box."

To keep satisfying him and his expectations, you decided to remain on the same path, coming up with unimaginable and creative patterns.

The puzzles instantly assembled, forming a clear image of understanding in Ellie’s head, your words failing to prevent her from holding back her laughter.

You were picking up the same sarcasm as her.

"My jokes are better."

Clothing shop after clothing shop, going from bright to dark areas, and the excessive bright lighting contrasting with the dark hues of the blue sky outside, was overstimulating Ellie’s mind.

But she kept dragging her feet to follow you around.

You could tell her anything, and she would do it without a second thought.

So that’s what happened.

The faltering and desperate look in your eyes disappeared, replaced by bright sparkles and dilated pupils as you rummaged through the clothes.

Your imagination started to paint Ellie wearing the type of clothes you had grown fond of—clothes she would never dare to wear, not because they weren’t aesthetically pleasing, but because she thought she wouldn’t look good in them.

Yet here she was, looking at your cheeky smile as you scanned her in an extravagant lolita dress you pleaded her to try.

There was no doubt you felt immensely proud to make her wear lolita clothes.

To you, Ellie was still the cutest human being you’d ever seen; the lolita dresses only enhanced her cuteness, something she strongly disagreed with.

Sensing your eyes admiring her, adding makeup felt unnecessary with her naturally blushed cheeks.

A sudden urge to squish them in your hands settled in your core.

Ellie’s face reddened even more when her cold cheeks met your warm hands, unable to ignore the temptation.

"you’re so—" you started, but Ellie immediately cut you off, her gaze dropping to the floor, embarrassed.

"don't say it."

She knew what you were about to call her; it was the complete opposite of the image she wanted to project—a thick wall of intimidating and cold exterior she had spent years building.

Yet in just a few days, she’d allowed herself to let her guard down. This wall, carefully constructed to give her a good reputation among her acquaintances, felt totally useless around you.

"alright," you retreated your hands and let out a giggle.

It was like a fierce missile flying right at this thick wall, crumbling it down with such ease, allowing her to be cheeky, goofy, flirtatious, embarrassed, flustered, happy, and in love—allowing her to be who she truly was.

☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°

What is the common point in Ellie's loving smile, the stars at night, and her making you the happiest being on Earth?

It all puts sparkles in your eyes.

The inspiration you had difficulty finding found its way back to you like a lost pet, except it always came from one person and the things that made you think of her—which was a blessing when she was present but a curse in her absence.

So you desperately hoped this night would never end. It became a message the universe was now used to getting because when the clock ticks morning, that's when the magic ends.

And you wouldn't be peering at the horizon ahead of you anymore, sitting behind Ellie as she focused on driving across the city lights. Your mind filtering out her friends driving with you at midnight, only caring about the person you were holding in your arms, trying to bring her what she brought you: comfort.

To your surprise, this dreamlike feeling repeated itself again when you woke up with her in your arms once more. She wasn't listening to your heartbeat anymore, totally absorbed in whatever dreams she was in, so you decided to oversleep with her, hoping to appear in one of her dreams.

In one of her dreams, you and Ellie were traveling across the country on her motorcycle, often stopping at car stations when her gas was low and eating breakfast in local coffee shops working early in the morning.

Both of you were unstoppable, searching for the infamous founder of her gang, grabbing clues from door to door and heading to as many cities as you could.

Your world was so small until you hopped on Ellie's motorcycle and discovered new places, unfamiliar routes, and different types of vegetation.

Thinking back to the time you accepted to help Ellie, despite the bumpy and narrow path, today you didn't have any regrets.

Everything went smoothly. When exhaustion enveloped you, you would stay in a nearby hotel; when hunger crept its way into your stomach, you'd find a restaurant to fulfill your wishes; and when you needed more money for the road, you'd stop at the city casinos, always going for the pachinko machines.

But again, it was just a dream.

Refusing to let disappointment consume her as the alarm went off, Ellie quickly woke you up and got ready. The festival's date was approaching with big steps, and Ellie found the perfect partner to help her find Himeko.

Since the perfect partner was you, you threw away your usual routine for the next days, trying to make her dream come true.

Dreams and reality, when you're blessed with luck with many ups and rare downs, there's not a significant line separating dreams from reality. However, when reality turns to look somewhat closer to a nightmare than a dream, a dream is often an escape.

"Dream" is such a small word for its numerous meanings, but even if it can be a subjective term, both you and Ellie can agree that your current situation was progressively drifting away from the aspect of a dream.

"I can't," you said as your walk came to a halt, still holding Ellie's hand. If you could describe the word 'inseparable' in three words, you would say you and Ellie; however, it seemed circumstances were starting to change that.

"what? What do you mean?" She hoped she had heard it wrong, that the sound of engines and powerful winds had made her a bit deaf after traveling for two days.

"I can't go any further," you clarified, your eyes dropping to the floor.

"listen." Ellie's mind froze for a second; your expression was unreadable to her. You were just lacking a bit of sleep, tired, maybe a little demotivated, right? "we've come a long way, to Tokyo, down to Yokohama, just you and me alone. In just what, two days... we already have a clear destination, and it's not like people don't know her at all..."

She gently squeezed your hand, a gesture that always brought your eyes back to hers. "I'm sure we'll gather more clues on our way there. Just trust the process... trust me. I promise we'll find her soon enough."

Even when you tried to seek comfort in her words, your mind wasnt set on it, not after what happened in the last casino you stepped foot in. "I literally gambled all of my money away."

Noticing the exhaustion in your voice, Ellie reassured you, lifting your chin up to hers. Both of you had already talked about this. "You're not gonna be broke... I can lend you some, y'know it's not a problem."

You went silent, and Ellie concluded it as the end of the discussion.

She didn't want to stop here, not now, when you were midway to reach your destination, so close to finally make her dream come true.

But when you gently pushed her hand off your chin, she sensed this situation was more complicated than she had expected.

"you don't understand..."

It's when Ellie was brought closer to her dream that she would get pulled back into harsh reality, something closer to a nightmare now that she felt that you were going to break her promise.

[random-of-random]

The Pirate Queen

Chapter 6 - A Prisoner

Author’s Note: Thank you so much to every single person who reads this, who likes this, who comments on this story. You are wonderful! I hope it makes you smile!

It was as if something came over James Norrington. He grabbed one arm and then the other desperately looking for any brand she might have.

“What, exactly, are you hoping to find?” She asked and he didn’t looked up. His eyes just went over the same skin, trying to ignore how soft her arms felt. “The elusive ‘P’ that should be burned about here?” She pointed to her wrist. Finally he looked up at her. “No such luck, I’ve never been caught.”

“Well, you have now.” James said as he took a few steps back.

Alice clenched her jaw before speaking. “James we don’t have time for this, you need-“

“You will call me Commodore Norrington, ma’am.”

“James, Elizabeth has been taken.”

“What?” His jaw went slack as it seemed as if the air had been sucked out of the room.

“That’s why I ran down to the fort. I saw two of the men carry her away from her house.” James immediately started writing. “I didn’t see them take her in the ship but it’s the only explanation.”

“Wait here.” He said coldly as he walked out of his office. She distinctly heard the key click in the lock.

It was only about five minutes later when James walked back in. He closed the door behind him. The anger was coming off him in waves.

“Did you have anything to do with this?” He looked away from her and toward his desk, his voice calculated.

“Are you kidding me?” At that he turned quickly around. “James.. Commodore Norrington, I would never hurt Elizabeth.”

“I’m not in the habit of believing pirates.” He practically spit the word at her like venom.

“Well, I’m still the same woman who saved your life out there! The same one who told you about Elizabeth. The same woman you kissed.” It wasn’t the right thing to say, the hatred she saw in his eyes practically broke her heart on the spot. Well, what she thought was hatred. James didn’t have words for how he was feeling.

“I can not believe it’s a coincidence that you are here and another pirate ship shows up and attacks.”

“I was only here to find out what you know about me, my ships, and the people I care most about.”

It was if a spark ignited in his brain. “The red bow, the red dress…” it had look so familiar to him at the party, sticking out in such a particular way. The color was rarely, if ever, worn unless the party specifically called for it. “Sam Bellamy was known for wearing a red bandana and coat.”

Alice nodded. “He was my Captain.” She confirmed and James swore he felt his heart break further. “The first person I sailed under. That bow was made from that bandana. You can arrest me if you want, Commodore. String me up with the other bodies of pirates you have swinging.” As if thrown in the ocean, his fire cooled immediately. The thought of her hanging. His mind couldn’t even fathom it. “But if you want to catch up with the Pearl? You’ll need the entire Navy. Because it will take that many just to find them.”

A multitude of thoughts ran through his mind in an instant, but only one made sense. “Leave.”

“What?”

“Consider this me repaying you for saving me. Now go.” There was a million things she wanted to say, but nothing would come out. As she turned to go she heard him ask a question. “Was any of it real?”

“Most of it was real.” She answered truthfully. When she looked at him, he was staring down at his desk. “Every glance, every smile, every touch… Just the accent and the name were fake.” She didn’t wait for a response, she just left. She would never forget his look of betrayal or how cold he sounded when he spoke to her.

———————————-

Alice walked slowly back to the place she and her crew had been calling home. It was hours before dawn, but all of Port Royal was awake. They were checking on their neighbors and businesses, moving their dead, picking up the pieces of their homes. No one even seemed to glance twice at her as she walked though. Just as well, she thought.

She was almost to the door when it opened and Charlie walked out. He pulled Alice into his arms.

“We were worried about you, Captain.”

Alice pulled back. “I’m alright. How’s Edward?”

“He needs to rest, but the wound wasn’t deep. We should get him to the ship sooner rather than later, get him to the doc.” They walked into the house and Charlie let her to a sitting room where Edward was laid out on a couch. Giles was in a seat next to him.

“Good to see you, Captain.” He said with a tired grin.

“Rest, Edward.” She put her hand on his forehead and was relieved to see no fever had yet set in. “We will be leaving as early as we can.”

“What’s wrong?” Giles asked.

“Norrington knows who I am.” Edward tried to sit, but Alice kept her hand on his shoulder. “It’s alright. He let me leave. Payback for saving his life. Charlie, Giles tell the men to sleep and eat. We will leave shortly after dawn for the docks.”

“Aye, Captain.” Giles affirmed before he and Charlie headed back toward the study and the dining room.

“You get as much sleep as you can.” Alice said as she pulled a blanket halfway up Edward’s chest. “We’ll be back on the ship in no time.”

“Did you tell Norrington?” Edward asked.

“Tell him what?”

“That you’re in love with him.”

Alice let out a small laugh. “The second James Norrington found out I was a pirate was the same second he felt nothing but hatred for me.”

“I don’t believe that.” Edward refuted. “I saw the way he looked at you.”

“Maybe…” Alice sighed. “He used up the goodwill anything before tonight brought me by letting me go. He will try to chase is down soon enough.” She stood. “Now, get some sleep. We will wake you last thing before we go. You’ll need your strength for the journey.”

“Good night, Alice.”

“Good night, Edward.”

—————————

The docks were busy, to say the least, and the sun was high in the sky by the time they were ready to go. Though everything had gone without a hitch, getting all of their stuff down to the ship that would sail them to Tortuga. Everything was loaded, the men were on the ship. It was just Alice and Charlie still waiting to board. No one seemed to recognize Alice, not that she was expecting them to. In men’s clothes, that included Edward’s dark brown coat, and her hair down - no one would have guessed all of Port Royal was fawning over her as a noble less than two days before.

“Captain!” Edward called and he pointed up the docks. James Norrington along with his Lieutenant Groves and two soldiers Alice had not seen were walking toward them with a purpose.

“Stay on the ship, Edward.” Alice called immediately.

“Captain…” Charlie’s voice was low. “There aren’t any other soldiers around, we can fight our way out of this.”

“No.” Alice said quickly. “Keep yours hands visible and just stay calm.” As the men moved closer the two soldiers she didn’t know stayed behind as Norrington and Groves came within five feet of her.

“Lady Somers?” Groves asked after a moment.

“That’s not her name.” Norrington answered him before she could. His voice was almost emotionless. “She has been masquerading as a noble. She is actually… a pirate. An infamous one at that.” Groves looked from his Commodore back to Alice before his hand moved carefully to the hilt of his sword. “Alice the Enchantress is what they call her.”

“I always preferred Mad Alice.”

“My God, it can’t be true.” Groves said quietly, his eyes wide.

“Afraid it is.” Alice responded. “What can I do for you gentlemen?”

“You’re coming with us.” Norrington commanded and there was a shift in the tension around them.

“Is that so?” She asked as she raised her eyebrows.

“To help find Elizabeth.” Norrington added. “It’s either you come with us, or we will take you all to jail.” Charlie took a half a step forward. Norrington and Groves pulled their swords a small way out of their sheaths, and Alice put her hand on Charlie’s shoulder.

“Commodore, I don’t know what help you think I can be to you.”

“You’re a pirate.”

“Not all pirates think the same.” She explained, and James rolled his eyes. “Not only have I never met Captain Barbosa, but last night was the first time I ever saw the Black Pearl. If you want a pirate who can help you ask Jack Sparrow.”

“Jack Sparrow escaped.” Groves said quickly. “With Turner.”

“Who is ‘Turner’?” Alice asked.

“William Turner. He is the blacksmith’s apprentice.” Groves answered. Something in her brain pinged on the name, but she didn’t have time to analyze it. At that very moment all she knew was the safety of her crew was at stake. With that there was only one conclusion.

“Fine, I’ll go with you - on one condition.”

“You’re not in a place to be making demands of us.” Norrington reminded her.

“Captain, don’t do this.” Edward pleaded. “You can’t trust them.”

“Then trust me.” Alice said loudly to her men before turning to Norrington. “Just let my crew go. They are going to sail out on this ship, they are never coming back. Please.” Norrington took a moment to think it over before giving her a nod and she quickly turned to Charlie. “Get Edward to a doctor, take care of the man.” She ignored the protests from her crew already on the ship, “And tell Callahan to be careful with my ships.” They shared a nod before he joined the crew. They all took their hats off, bowing to their Captain. Alice bowed back before taking her place in between Norrington and Groves as they walked her toward the Fort.

“It’s funny…” Norrington said as they walked. “Pirates, for a moment, almost seemed civil.”

“They are.” Alice replied, looking straight ahead. “Much more so than the Royal Navy.”

—————————-

When they got to the Fort she was surprised when they locked her, once again, in Norrington’s office.

This time she didn’t bother to remain standing, she didn’t bother to pace, she sat down in the extra chair and just waited. Her thoughts drifted to her men. If they had gotten out of Port Royal safely. If Callahan was already waiting for her in Tortuga. She hoped Edward made it to a doctor in short time.

She couldn’t have known that Norrington had spent the night pacing in his office. His worry for Elizabeth Swann only surpassed by his anger and hurt at what Frances - no, Alice - had done. In his mind, she had used him, used all of them, to get her hands on the Navy’s own documents.

Another part of him was angry at himself for just how much he wanted to go after her, and not to arrest her. She had told him it was real, but could he even trust a pirate. He paced until Governor Swann barged into his office demanding answers.

When the door opened, Alice felt a jump of anxiety as Norrington walked in followed by Governor Swann.

“Governor Swann.” She acknowledged, but he acted as if she hadn’t said anything. The Governor seemed to be refusing to even look at her.

“You will be locked in quarters on the ship as we sail.” Norrington said, catching her attention. He was looking down at his desk, also refusing to make eye contact. “The men know you will be aboard, but they do not know why. They have been ordered not to speak to you. In fact the only ones you will speak to are Lieutenant Groves and myself.”

“So, I am your prisoner.” She remarked.

“As it should be!” Governor Swann finally spoke. His face was red and his eyes angry. “You are a pirate! You should not be given any leeway. Were it completely up to me you would be locked below deck!”

After his outburst the room seemed almost painfully quiet. Alice recognized his frustration and fear for his daughter, but his hatred for her seemed to almost outweigh it.

“Well, Governor, then I believe when they drop me from the gallows you should be the one to do it.” Her voice was calm and controlled and, by contrast, the Governor looked absolutely scandalized. “Might I remind the both of you that I have been nothing but kind. I held parties for you, fed you. Both of you, more so you - Governor - were fawning all over me.”

His voice raised. “That was before we knew you were a criminal!”

“I am less a criminal than those who trade in human beings - and they’re being paid by the Crown.”

Swann scoffed and immediately left the room without another word, slamming the door as he went.

Once again the silence hung thick, only stopped by the occasional scratching of the quill Norrington was using. Alice was normally good with silence. Now? She felt as if she would absolutely go mad if one of them didn’t speak shortly.

“Maybe you should wear a dress. Keep - keep up appearances.”

Alice stood. “Commodore, I’m going to be sequestered a room the entire time. Well, until the Navy and the Governor see fit to hang me. I think you could do the courtesy of not torturing me more?”

James’ eyes focused on her for a moment and she almost wanted to smirk, but she pushed it as far down as he could.

“Do you know anything about where the Pearl most often makes land.”

“Only a legend.”

“A legend?” Norrington asked annoyed.

“Listen, I warned you I had never seen that ship before. Most haven’t. The few who have are usually survivors. The legend is about an island. Isla De Muerta. No one knows where it is, and supposedly you can only get there if you have already been there. I haven’t.”

Norrington let out a breath he had been holding. “Someone will be along shortly to escort you to the ship.” Without another word he left and she heard another click of the lock. Sitting back down she put her head in her hands. Alice had no idea how she would even begin to get herself out of this situation.

[raygirlramblings]

oh look it’s another Captain Laserhawk discussion, who’d have thunk it.

This time I want to go into detail about something which has been bugging me for a while and which I’ve yet to get a decent explanation for. The eternal question of WHO WAS PHONE?

More specifically, who was it who messaged Rayman to direct him to seek out Bullfrog at the courthouse?

Spoilers and discussion under the cut:

So, the general consensus amongst fans and viewers falls into 2 camps of who the mysterious voice was. People seem to think it was either the board of Directors who control Rayman and Eden (who we will call The Templars here just because it fits in universe), and the other half say it was The Warden aka Sarah Fisher acting on her own volition without the knowledge of her fellow Templars. People base this seemingly on the fact the call seemed to come from the Directors based on the image we see on Rayman’s screen matching those from his precious conversations.

Personally, I think neither of these options make any sense.

Firstly the Templars. Their plan seems to be (from the view of people who assume the message is from them) is that it’s a trap to lure Rayman to Red so they can capture him. This is RIDICULOUS and such a convoluted and messy plan. If the Templars wanted to capture Rayman they didn’t need to lure him out of his apartment with some vague message. He was alone and vulnerable in his apartment wasting away on booze and cocaine. And you know FOR SURE Eden has cameras trained on their mascot boy at all times of the day. The idea they would need some ridiculous trap to capture him is ludicrous.

Moreover I don’t believe the Templars even knew where Rayman was going when he went to see Bullfrog. When Red arrives he says ‘I've been looking everywhere for you’. Why would he say this if luring Rayman to Bullfrog was the Templar’s plan? If it was their plan why wasn’t Red in the room with Bullfrog to capture Rayman immediately? They didn’t need to leave him to have some long, mind opening convo with Bullfrog; if anything that made things exponentially worse for them as it was the straw that broke Rayman enough to become Ramon and kill them all (which again, the Templars are SURPRISED BY).

So no, I don’t believe the ‘seek the frog’ message came from the Templars.

But what about Sarah Fisher?

Again we have to think what her motivation is for pointing Rayman in the direction of Bullfrog. What does she have to gain from doing this? Sarah wanted access to the Wasteland VR setup, and if Eden launches its attack on the Wasteland it could destroy that. She wanted to get to Marcus Holloway and seize control of the system.

Rayman does not factor into her plan in any way. Neither did Bullfrog. She had Laserhawk and that was part of her key to get to Holloway. Everyone else was expendable.

‘But maybe she wanted Rayman to take out the rest of the Templars!’

How would she be able to predict that?! She would have had to know EXACTLY what Bullfrog was going to say to Rayman, how it would affect Ray’s psyche, assume Red would blow his mission to capture Rayman, and assume Rayman had access to enough firepower and skill to get to the Templars and kill them. THERE WAS LITERALLY NO WAY SHE COULD PREDICT ANY OF THAT.

Hell, she got LUCKY that Dolph had a change of heart and attempted to return to the city to save Bullfrog, and in turn he ran into the army heading to the Wasteland and wrecked them all in spite of her attempts to sabotage his robot parts. If he had stayed in the VR beach paradise or had died being crushed by Red in his mech the army would have swarmed the facility and EVERYONE WOULD HAVE PROBABLY DIED.

Sarah’s plan is purely based on luck and the fact that Marcus showed mercy to her. The idea she was a puppet master for a completely random set of events surrounding her goal is ridiculous. Sure it worked out perfectly for her in the end as the only surviving Templar but I still refuse to believe she planned for that. Her ultimate end goal was the VR facility, not power over the Templars. Once she had the VR facility she would have found a way to take out her fellow Templars without Ramon's help.

So if it wasn’t Sarah Fisher or the Templars then WHO WAS PHONE?

Thankfully we have some suggestions which actually make sense in the grander scheme of the world, but they do rely on a little theory crafting which sets up for S2.

For me there are 3 possible people who could have been on that call posing as the Templars.

1 - Marcus Holloway

2 - Sam Fisher

3 - Alex Taylor

Marcus Holloway is an easy one. As a master Hacker who has been breaking into Eden’s systems for decades I can imagine he has some methods of getting into the systems and pretending to be whoever he wants to be. The only reason he didn't do it sooner is that Rayman was constantly protected by Eden so any attempts to get to him would have been pointless. But after his TV freakout and being replaced it's a perfect time for Marcus to get to him and try and undermine the Templar's control.

'Oh but how would Marcus know about any of what happened with Rayman if the Templars just replaced him?'.

How would Marcus know about anything that happened with Dolph, Alex, Sarah, the Ghosts or anything else the happened in Eden if he wasn't there? He's a master Hacker, we can assume he has ways.

But why? I'm assuming primarily because using Eden's own propaganda pawn to undermine them is wildly poetic to Marcus. Maybe there is some empathy for Rayman here but much like Sarah he had no idea to what lengths Rayman/Ramon's mental breakdown would go. It worked out for him in the end though with the Templars being massacred.

Sam Fisher relies a little more on speculation. In the post credits scene of the final episode we see Dolph chatting to Sam in a digital void. There is some suggestion that the world we are seeing is not real. A Matrix world with reset abilities. This would explain a lot of things which could easily have been deaths turning out to be fine (Red being a clear example, also Dolph being shot at point blank range by Alex and surviving).

If Sam does have some kind of 'overseer' position this gives him access to far more information than anyone else. He could foresee the only way out for Bullfrog being at Rayman/Ramon's hands as Dolph was too far away and everyone else was dead. A little bit of manipulation of Rayman's fragile psyche in this matrix world would be easy for someone with a birds eye view that Sam could have.

But this is PURE SPECULATION.

As is the idea that Alex Taylor is responsible...seeing as he's dead. But before he died he took over most of Pagan Min's men and their connections. Either he set up the plan to be enacted in the event of his death or he has some similar kind of setup Sam has. After all, Alex's opening of the dimension X portal allowing the Rabbids in is what lead to Rayman's freak out at Red on TV, leading to his replacement. Alex seems to have some grander picture in mind for Eden before his death, and as violent and ridiculous as it is it does tie into his desire for chaos. The shaking up of the entire Eden system seems to reach beyond just screwing with the populace. Much like Marcus, the concept of using Rayman against the Templars would be part of the complete chaos Alex is looking for. With the Templars dead there is a power vacuum.

I know this one is a bit of a stretch but to be brutally honest I'll accept Alex toying with things from beyond the grave before I accept that the Templars sent Rayman to Bullfrog in an attempt to contain him XD

So yeah, those are my ridiculously long thoughts regarding the WHO WAS PHONE mystery. You are welcome to wildly disagree with me or point out my lack of logic as you see fit XD Also point out if I missed some important plotpoint :3

Heck there's an argument to be made that the message came from someone we've not met yet, or another member of the Templars working alone, but we have nothing to confirm this yet. Hopefully if we get a season 2 all will be revealed!

[im-not-a-l0ser]

Spiderman Richie Draft

Okay, I think I should watch Yellowjacket before actually publishing it, so this is a draft. I did not beta read it, so...

This is the art, so... it doesn't come up, but idk, to get you excited! And here's some by @24-guy

Richie never told anyone. He usually thought he was delusional when using his abilities. 

Hell, when it first happened, he made a joke about it. 

They were in their biology class, where their teacher brought a spider in to ‘help display spider anatomy.’ Each small group would get to look at it and draw a half-assed spider based off of it. Next to the terrarium was a sheet of paper with all of the names, and explanations of what they were. Some kids had written some stupid and crude things on the paper, knowing that the teacher wouldn’t even look at it until the end of the day. 

“I dare you to stick your hand in there.”

Yeah, Richie was ‘lucky’ enough to be paired with Max. Apparently Reese was supposed to be there too, but she was absent.

“Max, I’m working,” Richie said back, trying his hardest not to elicit an angry response. Max looked over his shoulder to his paper.

“You got all the words on there,” He said. 

“I– It– Details!” Richie exclaimed, albeit still quietly. He pushed up his glasses anxiously.

“C’mon, Richie, don’t be such a baby,” Max said. He bumped his shoulder too hard to be considered a nudge, but too hard to be considered a shove. “I’ll keep you safe from the teacher.” Richie wasn’t looking, but Max was talking in that tone he did when he’d wink.

“Fine. For five seconds, okay?” Richie conceded. Max looked around and stood between the teacher’s eyeline and Richie. 

Richie opened the terrarium, carefully so as to not make a noise. He lowered his hand in, making sure to press his middle finger to the floor, so Max didn’t accuse him of ‘cheating’ or some shit. 

He counted quietly in his head. He felt the spider’s leg brush against his finger and tensed up. Rightly so, as the next thing he felt was the spider biting him. 

He ripped his hand out, looking at his hand. 

“It bit me,” Richie whisper-yelled to no one in particular. 

“Oh, shit, really?” Max pulled Richie’s hand away from where Richie was cradling it and looked at the spot where Richie’d been bit. 

The area was irritated, with two little marks oozing a tiny amount of blood.

“Hey, I’ll get you a bandaid, just a sec,” Max said. He ran off before Richie could say anything. 

It didn’t… hurt, per say, but it didn’t feel normal. The best way he could describe it was a throbbing feeling, but he knew that it wasn’t actually throbbing. 

Max came back with a bandaid in his hand and held it out to Richie. 

“Thanks,” Richie muttered, taking it. He opened the package and pushed it over the side of his hand— where he’d been bitten. 

“Sorry, dude,” Max said, closing the terrarium after checking the spider was still in there. 

“It’s… Fine,” Richie said reluctantly. “It doesn’t hurt that much. And hey, maybe I’ll be spiderman now,” He said with a little laugh. He turned back to his paper.

His hand was shaky, but picked up his pencil.

The rest of the period went by through awkward silence.

And that was it. 

Imagine Richie’s surprise when the next week, he woke up much… different. 

For one, he didn’t need his glasses anymore. Which was unfortunate; it was the only thing that really differenciated him from his brother Trevor. He even wore them for a few hours before just taking them off and tucking them into his bookbag, where he’d find them very broken a few months later.

He was much stronger now, even though he was still a twig. 

And the thing that threw him off the most was the stupid ‘spider senses.’ 

He was so used to fighting his instincts that he ignored them at first. He’d feel this intuition to leave a space, or take a different path, and he’d just ignore it. 

But every goddamn time that happened, he ran into Max Jagerman, or some other shitty thing happened. 

He only noticed during a football game, when the football somehow went way out of bounds, and he managed to catch it, even in his Zeke The Fighting Nighthawk costume. 

His hand still had a stupid scar on the side of his hand, just two nearly black dots. A constant reminder. 

He never told anyone. But still, he used his abilities in the day to day, for fun. 

He tested it out, whether he had Tobey Maguire web shooters, or if he was a comic-book/Andrew Garfield type person. Not that he would, or even knew how to, make web shooters.

To his surprise, and delight, he was a Tobey Maguire. You could even notice a slightly bigger bump on his wrist when he pulled his hand back.

That was probably the ability he used the most, at least on purpose. He’d use it for menial tasks, like grabbing things from afar.

A big part of him felt guilty. After all, with great power comes great responsibility, but Richie wouldn’t consider himself powerful.

Sure, he had powers, but he was still just a loser. 

Which, is why he agreed to do that prank. 

Granted, it’s also why he kept returning to the instinct to fight Max.

You see, Richie kept allowing himself to be pushed around, even though he knew that now he could beat Max in a fight. 

Unfortunately, as soon as Max entered the house, he got that feeling again. Ironically, like spiders crawling up his back and over his arms. 

But what was he supposed to do? Tell them ‘hey, we need to stop this, my spider superpowers say something is gonna go wrong’? Absolutely not. Especially not with Grace there. She would think he was possessed or something. 

When Max was afraid of Pete’s ghost, he encouraged it, like the fool he is. He hoped that maybe the intuition had to do with Max’s downfall, and not with the inevitable assault that would befall Pete, potentially Ruth, and maybe even himself, Steph and Grace. 

“This is awesome, Grace. It's working!” Richie said into his walkie-talkie

“I always knew you fuckers were real! I've been scared of you my whole life,” Max proclaimed. He regained his composure. “But it's time to stop running.” Richie’s eyes widened in shock as Max downed the beer in his hand, crushed it against his head and chucked it away. He put up his fists. “Float over here, ghost! I'm gonna kick your fucking ass!” He exclaimed, punching the air. 

“Uh, Grace, we got a problem,” Richie said nervously into the walkie. He knew he should’ve stopped this, something bad was going to happen. 

“What? Is he not buying it?” Grace asked.

“No, he thinks the ghost is real. He's just really fuckin' brave!” His comment came off a little more amiable than he intended.

“Uh, you can't fight me. I'm an ethereal being, so,” Pete said, a bit awkwardly, still waving his hands spookily.

“We'll see about that. I'm gonna make you say boo-hoo, bitch!” Max runs after Pete, who runs away fearfully.

“Yes!” Max exclaimed “I make the dead run in fear! I am Jagerman! I am a god! Go Nighthawks!” Richie swallowed. This could still be saved. 

“The ghost ran! Send in the skeleton!” Richie whispered into the walkie-talkie.

Ruth ran out, growling oddly, wagging her arms down.

“Oh shit! Oh fuck!” He exclaimed, pointing weakly, “I didn't think there'd be a skele'uhn here! I'm so fucking scared of skele'uhns!” He curled away to himself. “Maybe I should just run.” He turned, stepping away, as if he were talking to himself. “Where, Max? Back home so Dad can call you a little cuck? Can't even fight off one, lousy skele'uhn?!”

Richie’s eyes widened and his mouth pressed into a line. He wasn’t expecting that.

“No. I got no choice.” He turned to Ruth. 

Definitely explained why that feeling hadn’t gone away yet. Ruth was going to get hurt. 

“Hey, skele'uhn!” Despite not being able to see her face, Richie knew Ruth was panicking. She pointed to herself in question, as if there were another ‘skele'uhn’ here. “I got a bone to pick with you, bitch!” He yelled before running over. ”Come here!”

Richie scrambled for his walkie-talkie when he heard his best friend shriek in fear. 

A big part of him felt guilty. He knew he could help. But even still, he was afraid of getting hurt. 

“Grace, we gotta abort the plan! It's not working!” Richie exclaimed. 

“It's working for me. He's so violent!” Grace practically moaned back. Richie’s face morphed in disgust. 

Sure, okay, he could admit that Max being all strong and brave could be kind of attractive, but right now it was not, since Ruth was going to be hurt. 

“Max, stop!” Steph exclaimed, running out. Max shoved Ruth away, who squeaked.

“Steph, we can't have a party here. This place is hella haunted!” Max exclaimed. “Get behind me.” He took Steph’s arm and pulled her behind him, hovering his arms on either side of her. “I’ll protect you,” Max said, sounding very determined. 

Richie felt his camera lower as he watched, just as himself. This was the kind of rare moment that Richie treasured of Max. The kind of moment that reminded Richie that Max was a person, and he could be a good person if he wanted to, but for some reason he just…

And Richie realised. The feeling still hadn’t gone away. No, he had to remember that Max wasn’t a good person, and when he found out, he would hurt everyone. 

“No. No!” Steph exclaimed, moving out from behind him. “It's not real, stupid!” She exclaimed. Richie scrambled his camera back up, just as Pete ran out. “It's not a ghost. It's Peter Spankoffski.” She motioned to an awkward Pete. “This was all a prank, a trick to scare the shit out of you, 'cause you deserve it.” Steph explained, somewhat slowly.

Richie put his camera back down. This had gone downhill terribly. What was the point in continuing to film. Especially if they were all about to be beat up. 

Everyone emerged, staggardly.

“What?” Max asked finally.  “You're telling me you nerds put this whole thing together just for me?” He asked

Richie saw, out of the corner of his eye, Ruth look down in shame. Richie was awkwardly frozen. 

“Wow.” Max said. “I thought you guys hated me.” Richie was taken aback. What… “But thanks.” What??? ”This was really great.”

His smile was so warm and real. This wasn’t a trick or a ‘gatcha!’ or anything like that. He was being genuine.

But, it had to be! The feeling was still there. Richie was still on edge, he couldn’t relax, his skin tingled, telling him ‘something bad is going to happen, be prepared.’

“You're not pissed?” Pete asked, just as baffled as Richie was— if not more so. 

“Oh! Are you kidding?” Max asked. His smile actually made Richie sad. He almost never saw Max smile like this. Even after winning football games, there was a hint of sadness, a bit of disappointment in himself. This was so different from that. “No no, no, this is like the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.”

Well, that might just be the saddest fucking thing Richie’s ever heard in his goddamn life. 

Max ran up to the elevated floor in the room, where Pete once stood in his ghost/lin manuel miranda/homeless man get-up. 

“When the ghost came out and my heart was like…” Max mimicked an elevated heart rate. “Oh! And the skele’uhn.” He motioned over to Ruth, who had taken off her mask at this point. “Awh… That was really special.” Max did a little bow.

Richie watched as Ruth blushed and squirmed, utterly flattered. Richie kind of understood it, honestly. Max was just being so… cute! Even if it was all an act.

The longer this lasted, the worse that feeling got. Something bad is going to happen. Be prepared. 

“Ya know, maybe I had you guys figured all wrong. Ya know?” Max said, beginning to walk along the platform.

Something bad is going to happen. Be prepared. 

“I thought you were a bunch of nerds, but you guys throw one hell of a par—” 

There. The feeling came to its peak as Richie heard the boards break and Max began to fall. Richie dove forward, narrowly missing Max’s hand. Richie instinctively turned his hand over, launching webbing at Max’s torso. It wrapped around his ribs as the heavy floorboard broke through the remaining floors. 

“Max? Oh my god!” Steph exclaimed, rushing over.

She expected to look through a few floors and find Max at the bottom, but instead, she just looked through the one, with Max dangling between it and the next. 

“What…” Max breathed, bringing his hands to the web. 

Richie managed to stand up and began pulling Max up carefully. 

“Richie…” Pete said, confused. 

“I’m alive?” Max said as he was pulled close enough to grab. Richie gripped his tightly wrapped webbing and pulled him onto the floor, before stepping back a few steps, with everyone else following suit. “I’m alive!” He exclaimed, throwing his fists in the air. 

“Yeah,” Steph said. “But…” She ran her fingers along the web. “How?” She asked, looking at Richie. 

Richie looked back for a minute before turning to Max, utterly ignoring the question.

“Let me get that,” He said nervously, beginning to rip the ropes away. 

“Richie, what just happened?” Ruth asked.

“Oh, y’know,” Richie said, nervously palming the webs. “Found a rope, took action.” He tossed the webs away into a dusty corner. “Nothin’ special.” 

“Dude, are you kidding, that was awesome!” Max exclaimed, taking the explanation right away.

“Uh, no,” Steph said, “That stuff wasn’t rope. It was sticky. Why was the rope sticky, Richie?”

“I don’t know, it wasn’t my rope!” Richie responded defensively. 

“Okay, I think I know what happened,” Pete said, “And it’s going to sound really, really crazy.” Everyone looked at him, barring Richie. “... So I’m not going to say it, because you’ll all think I’m crazy.”

“I’ll say mine then,” Ruth said, “I think Richie’s spiderman.” 

“What?” Steph asked, disbelief and laughter apparent in her voice. “That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life.”

“Well, the rope was white and sticky; it’s either that or Richie jerked off in a corner earlier, and trust me, he is not an exhibitionist.”

“Why do you know that?” Steph asked, utterly baffled by the entire situation. 

“You didn’t throw cum rope at me, did you?” Max asked, looking slightly horrified.

“Absolutely not!” Richie exclaimed. “I-I mean, you heard Ruth, I am not an exhibitionist!” He said, as if that sounded more convincing. “I swear, I swear I did not.” 

“I don’t think that stuff was thick enough to be rope either,” Pete spoke up. “I, uh, I was going to say the same thing, actually. That is what it looked like.” 

“Hey, that’s funny!” Max exclaimed, “Since you got bit by that spider last year!” 

Richie froze, staring at Max with a shocked expression; his mouth pressed together awkwardly and his eyes wide.

“What?” Pete exclaimed

“Why didn’t you tell us!” Ruth exclaimed.

“I don’t know, you never asked!” Richie exclaimed in return. “You guys are jerks,” He said. He pointed at Grace. “And you! This wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for you, this is your fault! I knew this was a bad idea!” He exclaimed, throwing his hands up. “But of fucking course, I didn’t know why!”

“Wait, was it a spidey-sense thing?” Ruth asked excitedly. Richie silently groaned, looking up in annoyance. 

“Hang on,” Steph said, “We’re still not sure this is a thing.” She looked at Richie, arms crossed. “Prove it.” Richie took a breath.

“Okay, how about…” Richie started, “We get out of this death-house trap first.”

Everyone exchanged glances before deciding that he was probably right. And they left the house. Max was carrying his beer in his arms.

“Where are we gonna go then,” Steph said, leading them out the front door.

“Um, I have to get home,” Grace said, locking the door. She looked at them all. “It’s nearly 8:30. Which means I’ll hardly have enough time to get ready for bed by the time I get home.”

“Fine, leave then,” Steph said. Grace nodded, turned on heal and began to walk off. Max wrapped his hand around her forearm.

“Hey, wait,” He said. Grace gasped, slapping Max’s hand. “Right, whatever,” He said, pulling his hand away. “Can you… not tell people about this?” 

“Why not?” Grace asked.

“I would rather people not know that I almost died and some dweeb saved my life.” Richie hit Max in the back of the head, who let out a pained noise, like a hurt puppy. “It’s more about the death thing. I don’t want anyone to pity me.” 

“Fine,” Grace said before walking off again and hopping on her bike.

Richie had no idea if she was telling the truth or not. After all, he did have a camera tucked into his pocket that held literal footage of the majority of the night. 

“Well, I’d say we could go to mine, but my dad would be pissed if I brought over three guys and a girl with no warning,” Steph said, “So where else we got?” She looked at Max. “I’m assuming not yours either.” Max nodded.

“We could go to mine, but only if you guys are okay being lectured about abstinence by my uncle and his not-girlfriend,” Richie said. 

“Can’t go to mine, my parents just painted the living room and it’s all fumey. I’m staying at Pete’s.”

“Pete, do you think we could come over to yours?” Steph asked. Richie and Ruth eyed them humorously.

“Sure,” Pete responded, “But don’t get mad at me if my brother says something stupid.”

“You have a brother?” Steph asked, beginning to step toward her car. 

“Yeah, he’s like a grown man,” Pete said with a small laugh. 

“He looks so much like Pete, it’s insane!” Ruth exclaimed. 

“Eh, not too much,” Pete said with a shrug.

“Pete, you could use Ted’s ID as a fake. The only difference is this.” Richie put his finger under Pete’s nose. “Now you’re Ted.” Pete rolled his eyes, smiling slightly. This wasn’t the first time Richie had said this.

“C’mon, let’s go to Pete’s,” Steph said, tossing her keys from hand to hand. “Pete, you get shotgun, because I do not know how to get to your house.”

The car ride was mostly silent, the only talking was when Pete gave directions. 

They all filed awkwardly into his house, sitting in the living room. Ruth, Pete and Steph filled the couch, leaving Max to a separate chair, and Richie sitting on the armrest of the couch. 

“So… you guys wanna watch Dr Who or something?” Richie asked, trying desperately to change the subject.

“Ooh, yeah,” Ruth agreed, who seemed to have already forgotten. Maybe it was the close proximity to so many people. Either way, it worked in Richie’s favour.

“What’s Dr Who?” Max asked.

“It doesn’t matter,” Steph said, “You’re not changing the subject,” She said, pointing at Richie. She crossed her arms. “Prove it.”

“Prove what,” Richie said with a nervous laugh.

“The whole spiderman thing.”

“Okay, but see, I’m not technically Spiderman. Being spiderman would imply that I were Peter Parker, which I’m not, since he is a fictional—”

Richie got cut off when he got hit in the leg with a pen. He looked over to where Ruth was leaned over her legs, looking at Richie. Next to her was a table with a pencil cup sitting on it.

“Why did you do that?”

“I wanted to see if you had the tingle thing,” Ruth said innocently.

“I have the tingle thing, just not for things that don’t cause me danger.” Richie watched as she picked up another pen. “Do not stab me with that.”

“How did you—”

“I’ve known you for nine years, Ruth,” Richie said blatantly. 

“So you didn’t get the tingle thing?”

“No!” Richie exclaimed. “Jesus. Okay, uhhh…” He stood up from the couch. “Oh, okay.” 

He jumped with his hand up, bracing himself terribly for something he’d only done once or twice. 

It kind of reminded him of when you were a kid, jumping to grab the monkey bars. He opened his eyes, now dangling from the ceiling. 

“Whoa,” Max breathed. 

Ruth and Pete looked at him with stunned faces, but Steph still looked sceptical. 

“Hm,” She hummed. She leaned forward from her slouch against the couch, clasping her hands while her elbows rested on her knees. “Crawl around.”

“Crawl around?” Richie asked.

“Yeah, crawl around,” Steph said, sitting up again to cross her arms. 

“Why?”

“Because this is not enough.”

“This is plenty!” Richie exclaimed.

“Nope,” Steph said. 

“How do I stick to the ceiling?” Richie asked incredulously. 

“Do it,” Steph demanded. 

Richie sighed but hoisted himself up. So, uh, he hadn’t actually done this before.

“Hey, where’s your family?” Ruth asked. 

“Mom and Dad are probably in bed already,” Pete responded, “But Ted is either out drinking or in someone’s bed.” He snickered. “That includes his own.” 

“You know I’ve never actually done this before,” Richie said, his voice strained. “I feel awful right now.”

“Why don’t you get down then?” Max asked. 

“I’ve never done this before,” Richie repeated. “I don’t know how to get down.” Max sighed and stood up.

“Okay, c’mon,” He said, reaching up and pulling Richie down. He yelped as he landed, trapped between Max’s arms. Max put him down on the floor nearly immediately and took his seat again. 

“Yeah, thanks,” Richie said sarcastically, pulling himself off the floor. He dusted himself off and took his seat. 

“Does your brothers know?” Ruth asked. “About your powers?”

“Trevor does,” Richie said with a nod. “I mean, I had to explain why I suddenly lost the glasses and now people would be mixing us up way worse now, so.” He sighed. “He promised not to tell anyone if I talked to Rudolph for him.”

“Wait, seriously?” Ruth asked, cackling. 

“He has a lot of anxiety talking to people!” Richie exclaimed, “A monologue in front of dozens of dozens of people? Sure, yeah, no problem! Talking to the hot foreign exchange student? Suddenly he’s Shoko Komi.” He took a breath. “I just had to give him Trevor’s number, so that they could text, and then he’d feel more confident talking to him in person.”

“Man, I wish I had a twin to talk to people for me!” Ruth cried. 

“I don’t know how much that would help,” Pete said.

“How’ve we gotten off the topic that Richie is spider-man?” Steph asked, still in some disbelief. 

“Well, I mean,” Pete said, “It’s not that surprising. It makes some things make sense.” Steph stuttered nonsense in bewilderment.

“Fucking— Like what?”

“Well, I was watching him help his brother with some working-out stuff. And he is far more strong and coordinated than he used to be,” Pete said.

“If he’s so strong and coordinated, why hasn’t he stood up to Max yet?” Steph exclaimed, motioning somewhat wildly. Richie curled his knees into his body. 

“I dunno,” He muttered. “I-If I stood up to Max, there’d be so many consequences,” He said. “It’s like an ecosystem. If I stood up with Max, I’d either be destroyed, or I’d be brought up to their level, but the chances of Pete and Ruth rising up with me is low. I’m not going to leave them behind.”

“You encouraged me to leave you guys behind,” Pete said. 

“And you know how well that turned out,” Richie muttered. 

“Hm,” Max hummed. “Or you’re just not strong enough,” He said with a smirt. 

“Are you serious?” Richie asked. “Max.” His face was serious and deadpan. 

He stood up and walked to Max. 

“C’mon, stand up.” Max rolled his eyes, but stood up anyway. Richie gripped one of Max’s arms and lifted him up, much to everyone’s surprise

“Whoa, okay, okay! I get it, this is really uncomfortable, please put me down.”

Richie dropped him like Max had done many times before and returned to his seat.

“I’m fine with the life I live right now,” He said. “Sure, it’d be better if Max were… less bad. But what’s the point in living a life like that if Ruth and Pete can’t come with me? And Trevor, and PJ, and Rudy, and Reese? I’m not gonna do that.”

“Man,” Ruth breathed. “You’d make a great Spiderman.”

“Ruth, who am I going to fight? Seriously, jeez. There’s no hero if there’s no villain, and we don’t want a villain. If there’s suddenly a terror over Hatchetfield? Sure, whatever, I’ll stand up like a Sailor Guardian, but right now, there’s no need for me!”

Had they known better, maybe he would be a hero. But they didn’t. They didn’t know that Richie wasn’t the only special one in Hatchetfield.

[littlexscarletxwitch]

── ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎ 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗵𝗲𝗿

paring: florence pugh x fem!reader

tag(s): fluff-ish, angst-ish, sfw, shot blurb, best friend's sister kinda trope, enemies to lovers (but not so enemies), more like I like you but I act like I don't

warning(s): grammatical error, unedited, swearing (sorry not sorry), mentions of cheating, not proofread

word count: 1,880

note: writing a part 2 for 'I know you' wasn't in my plans, but shout out to @wh4tmouth for giving me the courage to do it. This's one for you, I hope you like it. Also, I've never been cheated on (not that I'm that great, is just I've never dated), but I'm aware that this is not how usually people deal with it, but I feel like Betty is just that sweet. Again, the tittle is shitty, I'm sorry for that. I'm not a native english speaker, so please let me know about any sort of mistake. Hope you guys enjoy! <3

requests are open! <3

part 1 | part 2

Betty could sense something was wrong. 

She didn't like being alone with Raffie, she could tell that your best friend didn't fully like her. She was wondering what could possibly be taking you so long? She knew about Florence. You told her everything about the blonde woman, well, not everything. She only knew that Florence didn’t seem to like you. But you never told her how you actually felt about her. 

“What’s taking them so long?” her anxiety was creeping, she knew something was going on. 

“I don’t know, they’re probably fighting about some stupid shit” still, Raffie's words didn’t reassure her. She felt the tension between Florence and you as soon as she stepped into the blonde’s house. She couldn’t tell exactly how you felt toward Raffie’s sister but she could sense that your feelings for her were strong, whatever kind of feelings they were. 

“Should we check on them?” Betty tried to hide her worry, it was probably nothing. As Raffie had said, you both were probably having a little argument. 

“Yeah, we should” without wasting another second the both of them went outside the restaurant to find out what you two were up to. Betty was right —something had happened.

You fucked up. You fucked up big time. You knew it the moment you heard your best friend calling out your name, you knew it the second you saw Betty’s glossy eyes. You weren’t sure if you felt guilty about getting caught or guilty about doing it to Betty. Yes, what you did was shitty, but you could have avoided the pain in Betty's eyes if she hadn’t come looking for you. Oh, sweet Betty. Sweet Betty who didn’t deserve anything of this. Sweet Betty who was so happy when you called her your girlfriend, even though the word just slipped out of your mouth. Sweet Betty who was looking at you, sadness written all over her face. 

“Betty, I–.”

“Don’t even try, Y/n. You’ve done enough” and with that she ran away from the three of you. 

Should you go after her? Will she let you explain yourself? But what was there to explain? That you felt sorry she had to witness you kissing another woman, after a few hours of calling her your girlfriend just so Florence would get a little bit jealous, but that you didn’t regret kissing her because you’d been dying to do that for the past two years? Yeah, that was the shittiest explanation ever. 

So, you let her go. Gave her space. You knew that she didn’t want to see you, but you still had to talk to her. You had to at least try to make things better. Betty deserved better.

[...]

You gave Betty three days to cool off. You figured she would still be mad but you owed her an apology, even though you knew that it wouldn’t make her feel better, it was the least you could do for her. You also had been avoiding Florence, you wanted nothing more to see her, feel her lips against yours one more time, and breathe her intoxicating scent. But you knew that first you had to make things right with Betty and Florence would only be a distraction. Not that she gave you another option, she was also avoiding you.

You asked Raffie to take you to Betty’s house. Raffie was also kinda mad at you. Well, she pretended she was, because what you did was a really shitty thing. But deep down she was glad that you and her sister had finally confessed to each other. She thought the tension would go away, but it actually became stronger. What a mess you two had made.

You knocked on Betty’s door. 

“Betty, it’s me. I know you don’t want to see me. Just please, let me apologize to you.”

“Just go away, Y/n.” Your eyes widened once she answered, you weren’t expecting anything from her, even if she was telling you to go away. She didn’t sound mad, she sounded hurt. All because of you. 

“I, I just, I’m so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you, Betty. It was really shitty of me, I understand that you don’t want to talk to me. I just wanted you to know that you deserve better than me, hell, you deserve the entire world. You were so sweet to me. And I just took it for granted, and for that I’m really sorry.” You were about to walk away when you heard the door creaking open. 

And there she was, her eyes were glossy and puffy. You cursed yourself for doing that to her. 

“I could tell from the moment I saw you with her that there was something going on. I was just too stupid to not realize sooner.”

“No, Betty, you're not stupid. Anyone would be lucky to have you, I just–”

“I know. You weren’t mine to lose.” Her voice broke.

“I’m really sorry, Betty.”

“I know you are.”

“Is there anything I can do? I know it won’t make it up to you. I just–.”

“No, it’s okay. I’ll be okay.”

“If it is any consolation, she’s avoiding me.” She chuckled at that, a small smile forming on your lips.

“It does make me feel a bit better, but not actually,” she seemed to think of her next words. “Just go with her okay? Don’t fucked that up, Y/n.” You couldn't understand how kind she was being, she had a heart of gold. Even if you were the one who broke it.

“Can I just–?” You stepped forward, she knew exactly what you were trying to say. 

You hugged her tightly, as if trying to put her back together, but you knew a hug wasn’t going to do the job. You felt her relaxed under your touch as she took a deep breath. 

“I am really sorry.” You whispered in her ear. You guessed she was probably done with you apologizing, still you felt her nodding. 

Once you two broke apart, you could tell she was a bit better. Betty knew you really meant every word you’d said. Still hurt like a bitch, but she knew it was for the best. 

“Just go, Y/n.” A tight smile formed on her lips. 

And with that you walked away, feeling a little less guilty than three days ago. Still you had work to do. You had to talk to a certain someone. 

“Okay, that went better than what I had expected,” Raffie said once you got in her car. “Should we get milkshakes? I feel like this was a win.”

“Not yet, I need to talk to your sister.” A sigh escaped from Raffie’s mouth.

“Okay, fine, but once you get your driver's license, you are the one driving me everywhere.” You laughed at that, even when you were a mess she could still make you laugh. You looked at her and she tried to be serious for a whole second, but once she glanced at you, she couldn’t hide her own smile anymore. 

[...]

“Florence!” You were knocking on her door nonstop. Your knuckles were starting to hurt, but you weren’t going to give up that easily. You knew you could just use Raffie’s spare key, but you wanted her to open the door, not break into her house. “I know you are in there, your car is here, and I can see your shadow through the window.” You were about to keep on knocking when she finally opened the goddamn door.

“Oh my god! Just stop, okay?” Even though it was clear she was angry, your heart skipped a beat once you saw her. She was mad at you for some unknown reason, you were mad about her being mad, but she still looked gorgeous. Especially since she was only wearing a big t-shirt covering her whole body and what you assumed were the shortest shorts ever made in history. 

“Hi,” she only moved away so you could come in. “Why have you been avoiding me, huh?” you said once you were inside. 

“Do you want a drink? I need a drink.” She made her way towards the kitchen and poured herself straight vodka. 

“Florence.”

“What? You were avoiding me too, I’m not stupid, Y/n.”

“Okay, fine, I was. I had to clear things up with Betty,” Florence rolled her eyes at the mention of her. “What’s your excuse?”

“Do you really want to know?” She raised her eyebrows at you. 

“Yes. Yes, I do.” You didn’t have any idea why she was so mad at you. 

“You left me. You left me and all that was going through your mind was her.” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing, a laugh escaped from your mouth. 

“Are you being serious right now?” You couldn't hold the grin forming on your face. 

“I’m dead serious, what are you laughing at?” You moved closer to her.

“I just can’t believe you, Florence Rose Pugh, are jealous.” You were now holding her by her waist. She tried to escape from your grasp but you wouldn’t let her go and after a few seconds she was done fighting. 

“I’m not jealous.” 

“Oh, yes you are. Do you wanna know how I know?” You didn’t let her answer. “Because you are frowning right now, which means you are mad, but your jaw is clenched which only confirms to me that you are, in fact, jealous. Your breathing is uneven, which tells me that I make you nervous. And you’re biting the inside of your left cheek, which you only do when you know the other person is right, but you don’t want to admit it out loud.”

She moved her eyes away from you, trying to hide the smile forming on her lips from you. 

“I know all of those things, because I know you.” 

Florence loved hearing you said that, it only meant that you paid attention to her as much as she paid attention to you. It meant that you were as crazy about her as she was about you. 

“Okay, this is when you kissed me to make me forget how mad I am–.”

Before she finished you connected your lips to hers. Her soft lips drove you mad, you could taste the vodka in her lips. But you didn’t mind at all, her whole presence was already intoxicating. You pressed her body against yours, a soft moan escaping from her lips. You wanted to feel every part of her. You were about to move your lips to her neck when you heard the door being opened.

“Ahh, why do I always have to find you two with your tongues in each other’s throat. Agh, disgusting, absolutely disgusting,” Your best friend faked a gag which made Florence laugh. “I’m guessing everything worked out just fine. But I still want my milkshake. Do you guys want to come or are you busy?” You rolled your eyes at her. 

“Let’s go. After driving me around the whole day the least I could do is pay for your damn milkshake.” You pecked Florence's lips promising her that you would be back after dealing with her little sister. After all, you two had to finish what Raffie had interrupted.

Likes, reblogs and comments are appreciated! <3

-M

[randomnameless]

With most of the Church characters, the commoner / noble starting classes feel like more of an aftertought than anything. Because in addition to Alois, Seteth & Flayn both have the noble class (? why ? they clearly aren't nobles ? Did they feel like they couldn't put "commoner" on the Nabateans ???)

I think the only case of discrepancy that could have a cool / interesting explanation is Petra having the commoner base class : her status as princess is not recognised by Adrestia, as she is a political hostage ?

Mercie too is a commoner, even if she was an Adrestian noble -

But given how she ran away from her dad and her adoptive one is not a noble it'd make sense that she would have been registered as a "commoner".

For Seteth'n'Flayn, maybe it's more or less to explain that they are "special people" in the Archbishop's immediate circle, thus more or less considered and seen as "nobles" rather than commoners, but fwiw, especially in the Church, it doesn't amount to a thing.

In the rest of Fodlan though, maybe due to their perceived link to Rhea, they are treated like nobles?

5 years later, and I still can't fathom how the game(s) completely elude the background of the Nabateans and their paperthin disguise to pretend to be common and totes regular "humans".

They don't have surnames, they don't have any "made-up" backstory like being born and raised in a remote church or whatever, hell Rhea's backstory - as the Archbishop! - isn't developed at all and we had to wait for Nopes to get confirmation that she periodically fakes her death to appoint a new persona as her successor, because her title isn't hereditary...

How did this even manage to work, idk - but then their horrible dyejob was enough to convince humans that the Saints were totally not the people with green hair and pointy ears Nemesis'n'pals butchered a few decades ago.

So it's just a big "idk" and/or another proof that the devs dgaf about Nabateans because even writing this down makes me realise that if you want to get a plausible enough backstory/background/cover story for them, you either need to rework Jeralt's entire story or write Fodlan people to be extremely gullible, but with the conspiracy theories going on in the game it isn't coherent :

Manu believesthe Monastery is set between the three countries for a ReAsOn - but won't comment on Rhea's eternal youth, or how she looks like the other Archbishops, only Hanneman muses on Seteth's age while inquisitive!Sylvain is only puzzled by the resemblance between Rhea and the blonde lady from his stepmom's painting (granted, he is at war so maybe coming up with weird theories isn't on his priority list).