#the only explanation that would make sense for me is that she ran away and went where no one could find her

[queencvbra]

I am. So so scared about that they're doing with Tory this season lol.

[eunoiaflow3r]

jealousy, jealousy - harry potter x reader

requests open!!

• warning(s): fluff mostly lol, harry pov, not proofread fr

• word count: 1.2k

• request(ed): “can you please write a jealous harry potter when his girlfriend starts hanging out with cedric?”

• summary: the request lol

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Every Friday after classes, Harry, you, Ron, and Hermione would find a quiet place to watch a movie on the projector Ron had snuck in. It was a tradition the four of you had come up with after finally each falling into your respective couples. You and Harry were first - you both knew you liked each other but never said anything. After a heated argument one day in the library (mostly you were frustrated he wasn’t being safe and smart with his life after an encounter with you-know-who) and he kissed you right in the middle of your rant. You two had been together ever since. Ron and Hermione finally admitted their feelings shortly after.

Tonight, you were late. Only by a few minutes, but enough to have Harry wondering where you were and how you were doing. What he didn’t expect to see or hear was your giggling followed by a deep voice coming his way. His head turned quickly to find you walking towards the group with Cedric Diggory at your side. Harry furrowed his brows and looked to Hermione and Ron in confusion. They didn’t look as worried as he was, but still offered no kind of relieving explanation. Once you reached them, he watched as you said goodbye and walked over to lean down and kiss Harry on the cheek. Cedric waved to the group before heading forward someplace else.

Harry cleared his throat. “Erm was that Diggory over there?”

“Yeah, it was,” you start, “I ran into him and we were talking about the Transfiguration assignment before we realized we were heading the exact same way.”

“Oh, hm, alright.”

And that was the end of that. Harry didn’t press any further. He didn’t see the need and he wasn’t the type. He was just glad you were at his side now and he could enjoy the movie with you.

The next day at breakfast, Harry listened to how worried you were about passing two of your classes. He tried to tell you everything would be alright but he could hardly get a word in. He didn’t mind though. He liked listening to you even if half of it wasn’t really making any sense.

“Y/N!”

Both Harry and your head turn to the noise. It was Cedric Diggory heading your way, papers in hand.

“Hello Potter.” Cedric says smiling.

“Diggory.” He nods politely.

“Y/N, here are those notes that I promised you. I was able to find them in my things from last yea I had buried.”

“Oh my God thank you!” Harry watches you exclaim. “You’re a life saver!”

Harry rolls his eyes as Cedric walks away. He’s even more surprised when you jump out of your seat.

“I have to go study these Harry, I’ll see you later.”

Unfortunately for him, later wasn’t until the night where he was finally able to see you holed up in your room, Diggory’s notes in hand. Like the good boyfriend he is, Harry brought your favorite snacks because he knew you’d want them and wasn’t sure if you had eaten or not. You told him all about what you had learned and understood now that you had the notes, and he stroked your hair and listened until you fell asleep on his chest. For some reason, even though nothing was wrong, every time you mentioned Cedric and his oh so helpful notes there was a little ball of fire simmering in Harry’s chest. Tonight he would ignore it, but he wasn’t sure for how much longer he would be able to do that.

“Do you think this Diggory thing is weird?” Harry asks Ron during a Wizard’s Chess game the next day. You and Hermione were off in the library looking for a next good read. Harry and Ron weren’t as interested in doing that.

“What Cedric? What thing?”

“Well, I don’t know. First he walks her to us on Friday and now he’s giving her notes?”

Ron stuffs his face with toast before answering, mouth full. “Well, I don’t know, sounds innocent enough to me, she’s been really stressing about that class.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

After the match, Harry and Ron make their way to the library and see you and Hermione side by side by side looking looking at a book that was thick enough that your foot could probably break if it was accidentally dropped. Unfortunately, Cedric was right in between the two of you.

“This is amazing.” You gleam. Harry watched as you smiled ear to ear looking at the pages in front of you. It didn’t help the ball of fire that Cedric was smiling too.

“Hey guys.” Hermion says. You look up and when you spot Harry you make your way over to him.

“How was chess?” you ask as you kiss him gently on the lips.

Harry kisses you back while still keeping his eye on Cedric. He notices that Cedric’s eyes haven’t left you. “Ron won. What’s going on here?”

“Y/N and I were looking for a really good fantasy book about this Herbologist and Cedric helped us find something even better since we couldn’t find the copy we were looking for. Guess it was already checked out.”

“Hmm.” Harry says.

“What’s wrong?” You ask.

Harry shakes his head as if to say nothing.

Cedric greets the boys and then bids you all goodbye. Harry thought that still his eyes lingered on you for a little too long, but nothing in your response to him gave Harry any pause. You weren’t giving Diggory any extra attention that gave any problem but still he couldn’t quite get the flames to calm down.

Harry held your hand as he walked you to your dorm. He was quiet almost the whole time and let you talk about the book Cedric had introduced you to. To be honest, and he hated, it sounded like a really good book. And Harry hated that. He knows it’s innocent and nothing is technically wrong, but still he was upset because Cedric lately has seemed to be able to help you with so many things.

“Harry?” You ask.

“Hm?” Before he knew it you had already reached your dorm, but he was lost in thought.

“What’s wrong? Honestly this time..” You ask.

“Nothing.” He says. “Nothing’s wrong.”

“Harry, you’re lying.”

Harry wanted to deny and argue, but he knew that you knew him better than that and would beat the answer out of him sooner or later.

“I just, you know, Diggory has been doing a lot for you lately and the way he was looking at you today was just..ya’know I -”

“Harry, are you jealous?”

Harry’s cheeks turned a shade of pink that made you smile.

Harry leaned into you as you cupped on of your hands onto the side of his face and the other ran through his hair.

“Harry, I only have eyes for you. You don’t ever need to worry.”

You press your lips against his and he kisses back with fervor. He liked that your lips tasted like cherries for some reason and he savored it while his hands wrapped around your waist. He got butterflies when you moaned as he gently bit your lip. He loves the feeling of you against him and he just wanted to get closer and be able to be in this moment with you forever.

“That’s good to hear.” He says when you finally break away. He could feel heat in his cheeks almost hotter than the moment the two of you just shared.

“Jealousy is not a good look on you Potter. I prefer flushed instead.”

[suugarbabe]

okay but firefighter! mattheo is stuck in my head and i can’t stop thinking about him saving your cat in a tree.

firefighter!mattheo x paramedic!enzo x reader who just wants their cat to be saved

an: funnily enough @musingsofahufflepuff and I have been yapping about this concept quite frequently so enjoy lovie!

Enzo pulled the Aid Car into the bay, trying (and failing) to hide the hint of smile on his face, “I cannot believe that woman actually threw a vase at you.” Mattheo ran a hand through his curls, fluffing and tugging as he spoke, “Yeah, well she was aiming for her husband behind me. Really didn’t want me to patch him up I s’pose.”

“Lunch is on me then, how’s that?” Enzo leans back in his seat, ready for Matty to declare where to go when a new alert tone sounds overhead.

Aid Car 96, wounded civilian on side of road

They both listen to the address that follows. “That’s just a couple blocks away,” Matty’s face now serious as Enzo shifts the aid car into gear, navigating the roads quickly to get to their next patient.

As they pull up to the area, they notice someone lying on the ground, clutching their arm. Enzo shifts the ambulance in park before they both jump out, running to the back to grab the necessary bags.

“I’ll take lead this round, just stay close incase I need you,” Enzo gave brief direction and he and Matty made their way to the injured civilian. As they got closer, Enzo couldn’t help but feel like he recognized them somehow.

Enzo set his bag on the ground not too far from where the person was laying, and now that he was kneeling right next to them, he realized it was you. The person from the elevator. “Well, what do we have here, hmm?”

You groaned when you realized a paramedic was now next to you, turning your head slightly to yell at the older woman behind you, “Really Carol? You called 911? I told you just gimme a minute to lie here and then I’d be fine!” You go to sit up, but Enzo is quick to stop you with gentle hands on your shoulders.

“Woah, hold on there, let’s not move just yet,” he can’t help but grin slightly at your rolling eyes; you comply nonetheless. His hands run along the side and back of your neck, fingertips putting light pressure in their exploration, “Any neck pain? How did you end up here on the ground like this?”

“They fell out of the tree! That’s why I called, they were on that higher branch and then just fell right on the sidewalk on their shoulder and started groaning,” Your neighbor answered for you, much to your annoyance.

Enzo must have sensed your frustration, “Erm, thank you ma’am but please give us some room, yeah?” Your neighbor nodded before backing away, but her explanation made a lightbulb go off in your head.

“My cat! Oh, god. You guys have to go get him, he ran up the tree and he hasn’t come down. I think he’s afraid of heights. Please, you have to get him,” you went to push yourself up off the ground, wincing slightly.

Enzo helped you sit up but shook his head, “Your cat is fine, they usually come down on their own.”

Your eyes only widened at this, “Do not tell me what my cat would usually do. He’s an indoor cat! Can’t he go get it? Please, you have to try!” You pointed at Mattheo.

Enzo noticed your chest starting to rise and fall more rapidly, panic obviously starting to set in.

He turned to look behind at Mattheo, making eye contact with his partner. Matty nodded, “Er, yeah. Yeah, okay I can go do that. I’m, erm, a great climber. Don’t worry, babe.” He gave an encouraging smile before walking towards the tree.

“Be careful! He doesn’t really like men he’s not used to!” your trying to peer around Enzo to give Matty more direction.

Enzo then holds your chin in his hand as he holds a flashlight in the other, “Eyes on me, please.”

Your eyes flick to his, strong and focused stare as he flashes light before you, “So…are you always so accident prone or you just having a hard month, love.”

You groan slightly, “So you do recognize me, then…” You’re pouting slightly out of the embarrassment of the situation. Enzo shifts his hand from your chin and lightly grabs your face, giving it a playful squeeze.

“Oh come now, none of that. It’s okay, I’m more than happy to take care of you,” Enzo’s smile was teasing, causing heat to rise to your cheeks.

He’s then moving on to your shoulder, gently feeling along your back and collarbone, “Scapula seems good, clavicle too..let’s see about..” He grabs hold of your wrist, his other hand cupping your shoulder as he slightly rotates your arm.

You feel pain immediately, not able to stop your verbal outburst, “Fucking hell, Enzo! Ow, ow!”

He gently moves your arm to a neutral position, your forearm now across your stomach, “Hold your arm still, just like this, okay? I have to grab a sling.”

As Enzo turns to look in his bag, a loud thunk of boots can be heard on the pavement. Both you and Enzo look over to see Matty holding a pretty orange cat, Matt’s webbing still tied around his thighs and hanging off the tree.

You almost gawk at the scene, your normally fiesty pet basically purring and nuzzling further into Matty’s embrace. A shit eating grin plasters itself on his face before he looks over to the two of you, “I think he likes me.”

Enzo rolls his eyes at the scene, grumbling under his breath as he maneuvers the sling over your head before settling your arm securely inside, “Well, at least he followed protocol - woah, hey where do you think you’re going?”

As soon as your arm is being held in place, you’re using your good arm to push up off the ground and hurrying over to where Mattheo stood, “Oh, look at you, my sweet boy I was so worried about you!”

Mattheo smiles almost proudly, “It was nothing, I’ve went up plenty of trees in my time.”

You stared at him incredulously, both eyebrows raised. Mattheo then cleared his throat awkwardly, “You, erm, meant the cat didn’t you..”

“Obviously,” You go to scoop your pet from his grasp, but Enzo is quick to intervene. He grabs your cat carefully, walking over to your neighbor and handing him over.

You’re ready to argue, starting to walk over there before Enzo holds up his hands, “Hey..hey, okay. I asked your neighbor to watch your fur son for a few hours because you have to come with us.”

You scoffed, “No I don’t, I’m fine! You gave me this sling!” You go to hold your arm out but immediately halt once you feel pain shooting through your shoulder again.

The pain must have been obvious, as even Mattheo was trying to convince you. “You really should come with us..would be better for you to get checked out at the hospital, just to make sure there’s not anything seriously wrong.”

He’s really pulling out all the stops to convince you, using his softest, sweetest tone and making his brown eyes stare at you like a puppy.

“Ugh, fine!” You turn on your heel sharply, all but stomping towards where the ambulance was parked.

Mattheo crossed his arms over his chest, turning to Enzo slightly, “You know, I think they might like me.”

Enzo snorted, bending down to gather his bag, “You’re delusional, Riddle.” Enzo stood, hoisting the bag over his shoulder, “It’s very clear that they like me better.” He then gave a condescending pat to Matty’s cheek before turning and following you.

[harzilla]

For the long sibling au, what if Yuu was like a bastard child like it's Leona's mum, but the mum had an affair with a magicless human? So on top of having no beastman features and no magic, they were born they also look nothing like either of Leona and Falena's parents, making it obvious Yuu is an affair baby (affair baby yuu has more similar features to their bio dad). The royalty court wanting to cover this up basically (Kifaji had no idea of this of course) yoinks baby Yuu from their crib and somehow magics up a portal and throws them to earth in hopes they'll never be seen again.

- 🐐

Ohh that is really interesting and potentially very angsty. This came to me a lot easier then I thought.

Tw: angst, infant "death", lots of shitty adults in general.

So imagine for whatever reason, the queen falls pregnant with another man's child. The bedroom affairs of the royal family are kept incredibly hush hush. But the queen ends up pregnant. Perhaps the only three who know are the king, the queen, and the affair partner. Of course Farena and Leona are clueless. Leona is around four years old. Not yet the cynic he is now, so he's genuinely excited. All they know is their mother is going to have a baby and they're going to have a new little brother or sister.

The queen eventually giving birth and labor goes poorly. The queen survives but she's very weak, has to be carefully monitored to ensure she recovers. The baby is alive, taken to be checked over and cleaned up, but it's a shock that it's a child that is free of any beastman features.

The council is quickly informed and they're in an uproar. There's no way the public can know about this child. This would cause a scandal. Destroy the reputation of the queen, bring a mark of disgrace to the Kingscholar line. There's no way a bastard child can be allowed to stay in the palace.

So the council comes up with a plan.

They'll get rid of it and lie.

They, without the Queen's knowledge they go to the king and whisper into the King's ear. The child isn't yours, your majesty. What will the people think? This would shake the people's trust in her highness, in you. She's so terribly weak right now, just imagine what this could do to her. You know what you must do, right?

So the king decides to put his family first and orders they get rid of the baby. The lie is simple, the queen is to be told the baby died shortly after birth. Complications from the labor and such. The public are told that the third Kingscholar child had returned to their ancestors. Maybe the king isn't completely heartless and uses a very ancient spell known only to a select few.

The baby is whisked away by a magic spell that sends it to a place where it should never be able to return to the Sunset Savannah.

So the little baby ends up in our world. Baby who soon gets placed up for adoption. Baby who grows up and on the outside they look like every other kid. But they're just not right. Their senses are noticably sharper then others. Even as they got older and ran blood work, nobody could figure it out. No DNA matches came up when they searched. The closest explanation is the doctors think Yuu has some kind of genetic mutation. Yuu's family is a blank slate.

Yuu grows up to get into a bunch of fights. Their adoptive parents scolding them for getting into a fight. Yuu points out that the other person insulted them by saying that they were trash and it was no wonder their bio parents got rid of them. Just growing up to be very physical towards their bullies.

Yuu eventually ends up in Twisted Wonderland. All of 16 years old, they're sarcastic, snide. They don't exactly have the best opinion of others. But they gradually warm up to the idea of people here might actually care about them.

Eventually it's figured out that Yuu isn't fully human and actually has some beastman DNA. Yuu at first thinks this is impossible, because beastman don't exist back home. But the DNA test proves that Yuu has beastman ancestry, even pegging it as lion beastman. Narrowing it down to sunset savannah(DNA records for the royal family are not available to the public.)

Eventually Yuu heads to the Sunset Savannah with Leona during cloud calling. Hoping they can track down somebody from their bio family. Leona originally planned not to bring them but they wormed their way in like they always do. Leona already has his suspicions about Yuu and he uses the royal family database to compare his and Yuu's DNA. He's shocked because he thought Yuu might just be a distant relative but they're actually a close enough match to be half siblings. He might only have a very vague memory but he's never forgotten how his mother mourned her third child.

Leona's father is ill, his health degrading. But Leona still manages to get the truth out of him. Leona has always hated how complicit his Father has been in keeping the status quo.

It's Yuu who takes it the worst. Being told that the royal family and Kingscholar line will always come first. They had to get rid of them because otherwise they could have potentially been a threat to the legitimate children and their future heirs.

It's enough to finally break the facade of will power and confidence Yuu has used to survive in Twisted Wonderland. They've been through so much. They always felt like an outsider no matter where they were. They finally had felt like maybe they were building some kind of life here. It wasn't until they became close with Ace and Deuce that they felt like somebody actually had their back for once in their life.

But this? The absolute look of disgust Leona had that day towards his father and the council will never be forgotten by those who witnessed the tragic spectacle.

[volklana]

I Gave You All

Title Comes From This Song:

Request from @whitedarkmoonflower :

Hi! I hope you are doing well? I love your Sihtric fics, they are so full of life and emotions, and so naturally flowing. 💖💖💖

I'm struggling a bit myself and I really, really need something angsty with my beloved Sihtric. Would you consider writing something where he's getting home from a battle and some rumors reach him that his wife hasn't been faithful to him?

And when he gets back he sees something that makes him believe these rumors, but it has some innocent explanation, he just doesn't want to listen and he's angry and accusative and pushes her away and she leaves upset for his mistrust and not letting her explain. And they both are heartbroken.

And then he finds out that nothing was actually as he thought and he desperately wants her back. The ending is up to you. I'm fine with everything.

Warnings: Mention of the word whore in a derogatory manner.

A/N : I really hope that I did your idea justice and hopefully this brings you some comfort sweetheart xxx

Blood dripped down Sihtric’s face and fell warm and sticky onto his forearm although he could not tell if it was his own or some fallen Dane’s just yet.

He was trying to force the air into his battle drunk lungs, chest rising and falling rapidly as sound began to flood his senses once more, and the vague recognition that someone was calling his name pulled him back to where he stood beaten and sore on the bloody battle field.

Finan was before him in an instant, worried eyes searching his face before he was pulled flush against his friend’s chest as he repeated "Thank god. Oh thank god.”

It was true, Sihtric had come but a hair’s width away from death, he had slipped and gone down, forcing him to fight for his life as blow after blow pummeled down on top of him and only by the grace of the gods, his opponent had slipped on blood or mud, it didn’t matter but Sihtric had managed to scramble the upper hand and fought tooth and nail before managing to wrangle his dagger free and drove it up under the jaw of his opponent and watched the light leave his eyes.

Finan grasped Sihtric by the face with both hands.

“What happened?” he demanded and Sihtric swallowed thickly.

“He said her name,” he rasped horsley, “He said her name and it threw me off center.”

Finan looked puzzled for a moment before Sihtric continued “He says that she is a whore and there is another man humping my wife.” 

His stomach twisted and he was hurling all its contents upon the ground as Finan ran a worried hand through his hair.

Sihtric rode in silence. Just this morning his heart had been pining for you. He had imagined the softness of your hands against his hardened skin, the swell of your breast when you reached up to wrap your arms around him and the comfort of your embrace, but now he felt shame and rage at having left you for so long that you would go looking for solace in the arms of another man.

Beocca had added salt to his wounds when he teased “I hear your wife has returned to her old profession,” and after a pause he added “Humping for coin,” as if Sihtric wasn’t all too familiar with what your old profession was.

He had drawn out to strike the priest but Uhtred had intervened before any of his blows could land.

It was no secret that Sihtric had married an alehouse whore, but nobody had ever seen the broken woman that Sihtric had fallen in love with. The one who cried at his tenderness. The one who begged him to return to her time and time again. The one who begged him to take her away from the alehouse where men could pay to hurt her and own her body for the night, and the one who had shown him nothing but love and acceptance and faithfulness from the moment he made her his wife. You had never wanted that life for yourself and Sihtric was the only man to ever see you beyond a quick hump, and he was certain you were the only person in the world who had ever seen him for who he truly was. Would you really have returned to that world willingly? The logical parts of Sihtric’s brain wanted to dismiss the rumours, but the seeds of doubt had been sown and now he felt hollow. 

They stopped for the night to allow the horses to rest and Finan arrived back to the table with a round of ales. 

“Sihtric, she has never so much as looked at another man in the years since you wed,” Uhtred tried to reassure but he knew his words were falling on deaf ears, despite Osferth and Finan’s agreement. 

Sihtric merely sat sullen, staring at his drink.

“Where is the Sihtric who begged me to allow him to marry his love? He would not have crumbled now by the words of a few others.”

“It is different now,” Sihtric sighed, taking a long gulp of his ale.

“Sihtric,” Finan tried softly “I have never seen y/n look at anyone the way she looks at you. It is like you are the only person that matters in any room she is in, and you know this. You don’t want to listen to us now but I know that you know this.”

Sihtric’s heart fluttered because he wanted to believe Finan, he wanted to believe you, but deep inside he had always carried a burning fear that he was never enough for you.

He had enough of Uhtred and Finan trying to placate him, so with his drink in hand he made his way toward the one person he believed would be honest with him, Beocca.

“Sihtric,” he sighed “I said what I said in jest. To tease. I don’t believe a word of it so I assumed you would not either.”

“I need to know what’s being said,” Sihtric sighed, collapsing down opposite him and Beocca eyed him suspiciously.

“What good will it do to listen to idle gossip?” 

“I need to know!” Sihtric urged.

Beocca sighed a long, drawn out sigh before he nodded and began, “She has been seen with the blacksmith's son.”

“Where?” Sihtric demanded, and Beocca took an intake of break.

“Both going into his quarters and- and in your home.”

Sihtric looked crestfallen and then absolutely furious, as he contemplated that you might have had another man in the home he had provided for you.

“I do believe that there is a reasonable explanation,” Beocca offered and Sihtric spat, “Yes, that my wife is a whore.” 

The ride back to Winchester usually filled Sihtric’s heart with excitement but this time he wished the ride would never end. 

His heart was broken, so much so that last night he felt like he would die, silent tears and violent sobs wracked him in the room he shared with Finan but if the Irishman heard he at least pretended that he didn’t, and for this Sihtric was grateful.

Usually, Sihtric would be stopping and swooping to pick up every wild flower that he deemed perfect to put into the bouquet he would present sheepishly to you when he swooped you up into his arms- but not today.

He paused at the door, not ready to face the storm that was waiting inside, but then his heart sank to his toes, pressing his ear to the door he could hear you laughing softly inside. 

He pressed his forehead against the cool wood of the door, his palms resting against the rough grain either side of his head and he shook, listening to your beautiful voice inside blissfully unaware that he was coming in to blow your whole life apart and then red hot fury overtook him when he heard the voice of a man. He turned on his heel and made his way to the alehouse where he drank until he was almost stupid and by the time he returned home the sun had set and his home was silent. 

“Sihtric!” you exclaimed voice full of surprise and joy as you ran to greet him,throwing your arms around him and placing a kiss against his temple, glee slowly slipping from your expression as he went rigid in your arms, and refused to kiss you back, and the unmistakable scent of ale filled your senses.

“What is it my love? Are you hurt?” you asked slowly, taking a step back to examine his hardened expression.

“Is it true?” he asked, face and voice devoid of any emotion “You and the blacksmith’s son, is it true?”

“The blacksmith’s son?” you questioned as your heart began to thump in your chest. 

“Is it true that after everything I have given you, you are humping the blacksmith's son for coin, here, under my roof. The very roof I put over your head.”

“Sihtric,” you cried, taking a step toward him, only to have him step away from you, “Months…Months you’ve been gone. Leaving me here alone and this is what you return and accuse me of? This is your opinion of me?”

“It is what half the men believe. You have been seen. I cannot  believe that if you were to return to your old ways, you would do so with such little care for me, for us.”

“Return to my old ways?” you shrieked “Because no matter what fine dresses I wear, or how much I show you that I love you and only you, underneath it all I will only ever be an alehouse whore to you is it?” 

“I took you from that life,” Sihtric spat, “I gave you everything, all I asked in return was that you loved me, that you kept your vows to me.”

“And I have,” you cried but he refused to meet your gaze so you turned on your heel, and began rummaging through a cupboard in the kitchen before returning with a leather pouch, in your shaking hands.

“You wanted to know what I was doing with Eadwyn, here. I wanted it to be a surprise,” tears were in your eyes as you thrusted the pouch into his hands “I had it made so that you would always have a piece of us wherever you went, but now…now it is tainted.” 

Sihtric opened the pouch to find a silver dagger inside, the blade was forged in steel with a sharp, tapering edge, that almost gleamed in the light. The hilt of the dagger was inlaid with intricate, interwoven patterns and embedded in the decorative pommel was a red gem that Sihtric would have recognised anywhere. It had been his wedding present to you, a beautiful necklace that you had worn on the day you made your vows.

Sihtric’s eyes were glazed with tears as he looked at you trying to form words but coming up short. 

“How did you afford this?” he gasped, and you laughed spitefully.

“I did not hump him,” you spat. “You want to know why he has been coming here at night? In exchange for him making this for you, I have been teaching him to read. He comes here after working in the forge all day and I teach him to read. He wishes to be a commander in Alfred’s fleet, and the king will not allow anyone unable to read to do so.”

“Y/n?” he cried mismatched eyes searching your own ones desperately.

But you put your hands up to prevent him taking another step towards you.

“You think you saved me, Sihtric Kjartansson? But I chose you. You think you were the first to profess love to me? To wish to take my hand in marriage, you were not. But. I. Chose. You. I gave you all. All the best parts of me. All the parts I saved only for you, because I loved you, I wanted to be loved by you, but now you have ripped my heart out and I have nothing left to give you.”

He tried to take another step toward you but you ducked past him storming out the door and slamming it closed behind you. 

It was well past midnight when you found yourself pounding on the door of the nunnery, tears streaming down your face, as Hild scooped you into your embrace and pulled you to her in an all encompassing hug.

You cried yourself to sleep on the tiny straw bed and it felt like a darkness had swallowed you whole. 

For weeks now Sihtric had been going out of his mind. Weight was dropping from his bones because he simply could not eat. Sleep was a concept he simply could not remember and despite never having felt so drained in all his life he could not rest.

Finan and Uhtred had tried their best to pull him from his sadness but he simply could not speak. He had completely retreated within, somewhere that his friends could not find him and pluck him from.

Osferth would never tell his friends this but there was a night where he physically held Sihtric in his arms after he arrived to find him crumpled over in pain on the floor. He was falling apart without you and it was all his own doing.

He didn’t even give you the chance to explain.

He had already made his mind up before he even asked you for an explanation.

And he would never forget the wild look in your eyes as you fell out of love with him.

Osferth burst into the alehouse where Sihtric was sipping on a tankard of ale with Finan and Uhtred, a piece of parchment in hand.

“She is with Hild,” he announced and Sihtric was rising quicker than a bolt of lightning, “Ready the horses,” he commanded and his friends were also springing into action.

Hild stood firm, arms folded across her chest, refusing to move aside and Sihtric rounded on her tears pooling in his eyes “Please. Please Hild I have to try make this right. I have to try.”

She reluctantly moved aside and sighed “She is in the orchard.”

Sihtric spotted you before you saw him, you looked utterly worn out. The skin around your eyes was red from crying and his stomach churned with the guilt that he had put the tears in your eyes. 

“Y/n,” he tried weakly and you dropped the apron of apples you had gathered in shock, face contorting in pain when you saw him before you.

“How can I ever begin to make up for this y/n?” he begged and you shook your head as a single tear slipped down your cheek.

“I don’t think you can Sihtric,” you cried and he gasped a sob.

“Don’t say that. Please don’t say that.”

“Can’t you see what you’ve done?” you cried “You reduced me to nothing but a whore in your mind and heart because of some stupid lies and speculation. You didn’t even offer me the grace to explain myself because you have already decided that I can never be anything more than my past. How can I ever forget that? I can accept being a whore to everyone else Sihtric but for all these years I always believed I was more to you.”

“I let my insecurities lead my judgement,” he cried “All this time I could never believe that someone as beautiful as you chose me. I have always thought you deserved better than I could ever give, I was too blinded by my own fears and shortcomings to think clearly. But for all of that I am here before you begging you to love me again. I can’t be without you, life is unbearable without you.”

“You’ve shattered my heart, Sihtric. I don’t know if I can allow myself to love again, it is too painful, I won't live the rest of my life knowing you think I cannot be trusted when all I have ever done is be a faithful wife to you.” 

Sihtric shook his head wildly, grasping your hands, heart breaking when you snatched them back.

“I will do whatever it takes to prove to you that I am not this man who has hurt you, mistreated you and made you cry. I love you more than anything on this earth. Allow me to rebuild our trust, because I will never doubt you another day again as long as there is breath in my lungs. And maybe..Maybe in time you could find your way to love me again.”

“I never stopped loving you,” you whispered “It is you who abandoned me.”

Sihtric had enough of distance and pulled you to him in a crushing embrace, relieved when you allowed him to scoop you closer, your head falling upon his shoulder as he wrapped his fingers up in your hair. 

Your tears felt warm as they fell on his forearms and he buried his nose in the crook of your neck, inhaling that all familiar scent of home.

“Can you love me again?” he pleaded in a soft whisper against your skin, and you nodded gently in his arms.

“I will never doubt you another day of my life,” he promised, pressing a kiss to your hair, and then cupping your face in his hands he rested his forehead against yours “I promise to never take you or our love for granted again.” he vowed and you nodded in his hands.

“Believe me when I say, you are the only man I have ever loved, and I will never leave you for another. I am yours and I give you all, there is no room for another.”

Sihtric had to accept the fact that he had to believe what you were telling him now, he had allowed his insecurities to pull you apart once before. But never again.

The weight of both of your pasts would slowly ease. There would surely be more challenges to come and times where love would be tested and strained But never again would your trust in one another waver or the commitment and vows you made to one another. 

And with Sihtric in your arms sleeping soundly you could finally release the heaviness you had been carrying since you had left Winchester in disgrace of your past, and your husband’s accusations. 

Tagging: @canyonmoon-2@sihtricfedaraaahvicius@whitedarkmoonflower@shamrockqueen@thenameswinter99@foxyanon@acdassenza@thatawkwardlittlefangirl @gemini-mama

[cosmichorrorsarestillnicerthanme]

Seeing How Your Body Works-Furina X Vamp! Reader

@melodic-haze , seeing as you liked the first one of this little anthology, here is the second part.

Next up, I am thinking March 7th

Warnings: Non-Sexual Nudity and intimacy

“Are you sure about this?” Furina asked in a whisper as she straddled your waist and put her hands on the side of your face, the bed moving slightly under the two of you.

“Of course I am milady. I’ve seen all of you, it's only fair you see all of me.” you muttered, your eyes looking directly into hers.

Furina leaned down, bracing her hands on your bare shoulders, and whispered “Thank you, my love.”

Then, she leaned back, and the both of you could see everything.

It was Furina’s idea.

To keep everything “Equal” as she said.

You were the only one who needed to be exposed as she examined you.

But she insisted.

And so, here the both of you were.

Not a single piece of clothing on either of you.

Furina, holding herself upright on your midsection, legs spread and knees on both sides of your torso as her breasts slowly rose and fell in tandem with her breath and she looked you in your eyes with a deep trust and fondness.

Slowly, she dragged her hands up your chest and to your throat before placing her fingers on the underside of your jaw.

Wordlessly, you opened your mouth and Furina could feel the muscles under her fingers tense as your fangs came into view, glistening in the pale light of the moon and the stars.

Gently, Furina removed her hands and placed them on the side of your face once more slowly bringing them down your jaw to where her index finger could easily into your mouth to feel the fang.

It felt like any other tooth, but then she ran her finger up the edge and then, she put the slightest amount of pressure onto the tooth, causing it to slice through her perfect skin with ease.

Your entire body twitched in response and your pupils narrowed as your irises began to glow.

Furina was undeterred.

She trusted you completely.

She knew that, if you so wished, you could split her open before she could do a single thing at this distance.

Her death would be a foregone conclusion.

Unbothered by this thought, she continued to admire your body.

She could already feel her finger going numb and a rather pleasurable tingling begin to radiate from the wound.

“A vampire’s Toxin numbs the wound and causes the nerves to activate, sending signals to the brain that cause it to release high amounts of endorphins.” Furina recited the explanation you gave her before all of this began.

You nodded your head slowly, careful not to move the placement of her bleeding finger which was still in your mouth, the sweet taste of her blood making it hell to fight the urge to wrap your tongue around the wound and taste what little bit of her you could.

Just the few drops that had slid down your throat made you feel like you had downed twenty cups of tea filled with sugar, electricity was running through your veins but in the same moment, you could feel the want to think slowly fade away and a sense of calm overtake you, your limbs going limp upon the bed.

Are you sure Furina isn’t the one with the semi-paralytic toxin in her blood?

If she did, you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

Especially not when you were shaken out of your stupor by her removing her now longer bleeding finger from your tongue that you had wrapped around the wound without thinking.

Embarrassment turned your face red as you looked to the side.

“If just a few drops of me could do that to you, I could only wonder what would happen if you decided to go straight for the source!” Furina said rather pridefully as she forced you to look her in the eye by gently turning your head towards her, a grin on her face and a faint blush on her face.

Then, Furina removed her hand from your chin and placed both of hers on your shoulders as she slowly lowered her body, laying flat against you with her ear on your chest, directly over your heart.

Like any living being, your heart did beat.

However, it was slow.

Much slower than it should be.

For every three beats of her heart, your’s beats once.

And that is where Furina laid there, listening to your heartbeat, listening to your breath.

Her skin felt like it was burning you, but it was not an unpleasant burn.

Your cold skin was making her want to do nothing but close her eyes and let the cold devour her.

She was more than willing to let it.

Purely because she knew she could find you inside of it.

And that is how the two of you spent the night.

By the time morning came, neither of you could tell where Furina began and you ended.

For the entire night, there was nothing beyond the space the two of you occupied.

No requirements, no laws, nothing.

There was just you, and her.

Holding each other close, bare skin on bare skin, basking in the wondrous feeling you both felt from the other.

[desperateknot]

Swap Ishqueg/LCB Queequeg AU.

Hex Nail E.G.O Queequeg

Splash art:

Sprites (Awakening & Corrosion):

Awakening: An embrace. Is all. it would take.

Corrosion: Just...hug me. Please. 

Corrosion attack animation idea:

Reasoning:

This makes a lot of sense...but only for me. Look, if you don't already agree with a few headcanons that I already have for Queequeg, this won't make that much sense. Those headcanons are based on canon, though, so maybe you'll be convinced?

Envy => Middle. Hex Nail = Envy => Hex Nail is fitting for someone who is related to the Middle. Even in a gameplay perspective, this will give her more Envy Resonance which is especially useful for her. Queequeg also already has themes of Envy? If Heathcliff is John Envy then Queequeg is Joan Envy. She was jealous of an Abnormality.

Bleed: Hex Nail is a Bleed EGO, which I think would synergise well with her canon counterpart? I'm not sure though.

The playroom:

I'm very invested in the idea of making the Middle an abusive family that Queequeg escaped (sort of). It will connect to her childhood, hence the playroom. More than that, though, is the way she prominently lacking agency in her entire life. More about it here: https://www.tumblr.com/desperateknot/767952971855167488/queequegs-lack-of-autonomy-features-or-bugs?source=share.

In any case, there are 2 character archetypes that often portrayed as lacking in autonomy: the helpless maiden and the child. It would be quite difficult to portray Queequeg as a helpless maiden, so I usually go with the imagery of a child to portray her, especially in the context of her relation to the Middle. Infantilisation is also a common tactic in abusive households as well. I think, merely the act of Queequeg running from the Middle is her maturing and making choices for herself. If I ever write a fic about Queequeg's times in the Middle (which I am), I will write it to be something like a coming of age story, but it's the City, so.

By the by, if you look really closely, you can see the shadow on the splash art is a crib, and her raising her arms so can be interpreted as asking for a hug or asking to be lifted out of the crib (because she has grown).

Nails: We use nails to pin things down. Similarly, the Middle does want to pin her down.

Ragged Doll imagery: My favourite interpretation of Queequeg is her being a disgraced golden child of the Middle. She was loved and respected there, hence a pretty doll for show. But at the same time, she ran away, got punished, beaten and tortured for it, hence a ragged doll.

Affection:

In my interpretation, one of Queequeg's core theme is affection, not necessarily romantic, just affection in general. It is because one of her source material is The Little Mermaid by Hans Christian Andersen. Explanation here: https://www.tumblr.com/desperateknot/767685243953201152/limbus-companys-queequeg-is-based-on-the-little?source=share And affection is really one core theme of The Little Mermaid.

Other than that, Queequeg already stated her motivation for all the atrocities she committed under the Middle is because she wanted respect, which we could argue is also a type of affection. The Middle is quite um...affectionate with each other, anyways?

How does this relate to Hex Nail and the Hurting Teddy Bear? The Hurting Teddy Bear wants to be loved and hugged too, and it became jealous when it sees other people getting affection that won't be extended to itself.

And, at the risk of spoiling my own fic, my version of Swap Queequeg believes attaining others' affection and approval is the only way to atone (if you think hard enough about it, it makes sense I promise).

By the way, the background of the splash art are toys but they have been messed with or destroyed in some ways. Teddy bear is torn apart, blocks got knocked over, jigsaw puzzle got unsolved. She has ruined everything. Would you still hug her?

Hurting Teddy Bear's Abnormality log (written by Rodya):

On the first log, Rodya said this about the Hurting Teddy Bear: And it's got the gall to ask us for hugs… like, who'd wanna hug this thing? I do think Queequeg initially thought of herself as disgusting (maggot) and not worthy of other people's affection, too, but then, her opinion on herself probably shifted a little bit.

On the final log, when the Sinners finally successfully pacify the Abno, Rodya expressed some genuinely affection for it, which would parallel her dynamic with Queequeg in my AU specifically.

Personal notes:

I'm really curious as to, after reading all of my thought process behind Hex Nail Queequeg, what do everyone think is the reason behind the bloodied dress.

And uh...right. It should have been Dieci, shouldn't it? I promised.

I swear that I drew Dieci Queequeg a long while ago, but I didn't like how it looks and the 2 pieces are both stagnating (in truth, I didn't like how Hex Nail turns out too much either, but they are still miles better than Dieci), so I switched to Hex Nail first. I will return to Dieci later.

[anonymous-spooks]

WHAT IF LIU WAS HOMICIDAL?!

Okay, I’ve been hopping around in the Creepypasta multiverse for a while, and I have a teeny tiny Swap AU thing.

Remember when I asked what it would be like if Liu and Jeff swapped places? I got an idea. Maybe it doesn’t make sense at all to you (it’s fair, most of you guys had been in the fandom longer), so here goes nothing:

So, we could keep the beginning of the OG Woods story:

The family moved to a new home, and the brothers had trouble adjusting.

If we’re going with the route that Jeff is like the black sheep of the family, then it makes sense that he’d have the most trouble settling in. So of course he and his parents (especially the mother) would fight.

Thus we spotlight Liu as the “golden child.”

Liu would most definitely get more attention from his family than Jeff does. He’s smart and knows exactly what he wants. Jeff still looks out for Liu, wanting to protect him because he cares about him and knows that his parents will get very upset if anything were to happen to him.

They run into the bullies on the bus, who were bothering Liu. Jeff tells them to back off, but they didn’t listen. So they fought, with Liu begging Jeff to stop.

After the confrontation, the brothers returned home, and the police arrived about the incident. And they want to arrest Jeff.

Jeff was ready to comply until Liu stepped in and framed himself as the suspect. Jeff had gone through a lot of trouble to keep Liu safe. So he wants to return the favor. The parents were very upset with this and suspected Jeff to have somehow manipulated Liu into turning himself in.

I don’t remember exactly how long Liu was in prison for. Probably for a few months until his parents were able to bail him out. So perhaps he was sitting with his thoughts. For a bit too long.

His parents were able to give him the details. The bullies came back at the party and fought Jeff in the bathroom. I think the bleach that caused the fire probably had some flammable product mixed in on accident that day; that’s the only justification I have. The bullies were injured and got away; Jeff recovered but was badly burned.

As Jeff was recovering in the hospital, only Liu stood by his side. His parents never really cared. Jeff was all healed up after a year or so, looking completely different. The parents were unsettled, but Liu sees nothing wrong. His brother is okay.

It was night. Liu woke up to use the bathroom, where he ran into his disturbed mother, who was keeping an eye on Jeff’s sleeping figure hidden in the blankets.

She was rather appalled to see how her son turned out. But when she looked down at Liu, she gave him a smile and patted his head.

“Why do you hate my brother?” He asked.

It was a simple question.

“Why not love him the same as you love me?”

He just wanted an explanation.

“He proved time and time again that he’d do anything to keep me safe, because he knows what would happen if your prized son had one small scratch on him!”

So why wouldn’t she answer?

“If Jeff’s the one who turned himself in, wouldn’t you bail him out as you did with me?!”

He was raising his voice.

“Liu, be quiet! We are not going to discuss this! Now go back to bed; it’s late.”

She rushed down to head back to her bedroom, but Liu wasn’t going to just forget it. In blazing anger, he walked to the kitchen and grabbed the biggest knife from the cupboard. He snuck into his parents’ room and closed the door.

…

Jeff was shaken awake, and he got out of the blanket and gasped. He calmed a bit after realizing it’s Liu, with a calm expression.

“Oh, thank gawd... Why are you bleeding?”

“It’s not mine. Now get up.”

Jeff was confused the entire time as Liu led him outside the house. The family’s asleep; why wasn’t Liu quiet?

“Liu, what happened?”

“You did so much for me, Jeff. You put yourself in front of me just to keep me safe.”

Liu put his hand on Jeff’s shoulder and smiled.

“I want to show my gratitude. Help you return the favor.”

So Liu pulled out his knife from his pocket, startling Jeff. He widened his eyes in shock, seeing blood on the blade.

“I know where Randy lives. How about we pay him a visit?”

…..

Well, that just happened. Again, this is my take on the swap (kinda?). Let me know your thoughts or how you might change it.

[brie-annwyl]

Angst because it’d sun to feel every once in a while

Bruce has never known a day of peace since he took in Dick as his ward, not because he’s a father now and it led to him adopting multiple other little hellians. Because all of his children love to prank and spite him. Dick (surprisingly) was the most tame out of them all, only occasionally hiding things from Bruce or using nerf guns against him at the most inconvenient times (galas especially).

Jason after living on the streets for a few years picked up on how to be EXTREMELY quiet and how to hide well. Without any pattern or explanation Jason would just randomly disappear from the manor, sometimes to make it more interesting he would stage it like he ran away or that someone took him. Bruce believes Jason wanted to give him a heart attack before 50. Jason always tried to get Dick to join in on the little pranks but with Dick and Bruce not having a good relationship, he never got the chance to. (Jason staging “running away” and “kidnappings” were the reason Bruce wasn’t immediately freaked out when Jason wasn’t in the manor when he went to Ethiopia. He just thought Jason was pranking him.)

Tim is in for a rude awakening when he tries to prank Bruce. It’s been a while since he became Robin, him and Dick are incredibly close and he’s started staying at the manor more often than not. Bruce ruffles his hair and laughs at his jokes, they even had a movie night the other day! So when Dick subtly mentions how he used to prank Bruce and that Jason followed in his footsteps, he feels like it’s a right of passage for Robins to do so. Tim accidentally brings back an old memory of Jason by doing a prank like Jason would do, Bruce just freezes when he sees Tim and leaves the room. Tim doesn’t prank him after that. (Bruce immediately realizes his mistake after Tim never tries to participate in pranks again but is too socially inept to fix things.)

Damian thinks pranks are ridiculous and stupid. He never attempted one until Dick pranked Bruce one day a few months after he came back from the time bs. It’s the first time Damian watches Bruce wheeze, he pulls Dick into a tight embrace and kisses his forehead and it fills Damian with an ache he’s never felt before. So, he researches pranks he can try and asks Jon for assistance. In the end he tries something small, he puts saran wrap on the entrance to the kitchen in the evening. Bruce absolutely eats shit but laughs all the same when he sees Damian giggling from the dinner table. (Tim pretends not to notice the commotion from his tablet. There’s a lump caught in his throat throughout all of dinner.)

Steph only pranked Bruce whilst on patrol as Robin. She hasn’t done it since and rationalizes the pain she feels by saying “every Robin does it” instead of “all his kids do it.”

Duke? He will help others pull off their own pranks, he never makes one of his own. He doesn’t feel as though it’s his place (even though he lives there and Bruce loves him all the same. Sometimes he can’t believe it)

Cass blames her pranks on others, she wants to be included with her brothers but doesn’t know what Bruce’s reaction to her pranks would be if he knew they were her own (he does know, he sees her set them up but still acts as through he doesn’t see them)

Jason re-enters the family with a prank, he hides in Bruce’s study whilst he waits for him to get home. He cannot honestly say what he hopes to achieve in doing this, he just wants a sense of normalcy that he had when he was little he misses his dad and just wants a hug again (touch starved Jason is canon you will not tell me otherwise). The prank worked, Bruce got scared but upon realizing it was Jason he immediately pulls him into a hug and kisses his forehead. Jason melts completely and stays for dinner that night upon Bruce’s request.

Tim watched on from afar as they all prank Bruce. A privilege he doesn’t believe he deserves. It’s noticed by everyone but no one knows why he doesn’t except for Bruce, the one person who is physically incapable of being emotionally vulnerable. So Tim watched on as his siblings get forehead kisses and full belly laughs and he’ll give them half smiles and thumbs up as he escapes to another room (most likely the cave) so he can bury his sadness for another day.

[carulenes]

I have so many scattered thoughts re: Blade, Jingliu, and Dan Heng and the entirety of the HCQ after Clouds Leave No Trace

This is gonna probably be long as hell since I haven’t stopped thinking abt it for two days straight and will contain spoilers for the new HCQ quest in 1.4 as well as references to other leaks, this is mostly just a jumble of a bunch of theories and ramblings to get my thoughts out, some of which I already had and others that started to jump out during the quest. obv other ppl may have come up with similar conclusions and i obv might not be right myself but based on the narrative presented to us up until now, these are what I feel make the most sense. TLDR at the end.

Dan Heng vs “running away”

I find it fascinating, and frankly disingenuous, that that both Jingliu and Blade consistently frame DH’s explanations of no longer being Dan Feng and only containing fragments of his memories as "trying to run from his past". I’ve also seen some in the fandom claim that DH’s position on the matter shouldn’t be trusted as he’s an “unreliable narrator”, which could be true, but it’s a stance I disagree with as it goes against the structure of DH’s narrative as it’s been set up since the beginning of the game.

From day one until the present, Dan Heng is shown to be fully willing to atone for the sins of his past:

The moment he was allowed to move freely aboard the Luofu after having quietly accepted exile for crimes he shouldn’t have had to pay for, he decided of his own volition to seek out the current high elder and make amends with both the Xianzhou and his past in general, even when doing so made him a target for even more suffering:

Narratively speaking, he never once backs away from the punishment considered owed to Dan Feng's actions.

Dan Heng, the result of a forced rebirth process that was then manipulated to leave him with combat prowess and broken memories he neither wanted or should have possessed to begin with, was escorted away from the only homeland he knew, after being held in prison for crimes he legally should not have been judged by from the moment of his birth, with only the few possessions his previous incarnation had possessed, forced to jump from spaceship to spaceship without even recognizing the destination. The only reason he ever ran at all is due to the ages spent fighting for his life against an enemy he didn't recognize and never truly recognized him, one that refused to die no matter how many times they fought. One who caused unmatched destruction in his hunt for Dan Heng, fully willing to destroy anyone and anything in the way of his goal— a shadow of his past:

This is why personally (emphasis on personally) I believe that the longing in question from the leak regarding Dan Heng polishing his spear is in reference to the Luofu, as to me, it makes sense that he would long for and think of the homeland he never got to witness thoroughly with his own eyes and could only experience in books while caring for the weapon he uses to keep himself and others safe from the force of destruction that trails him:

In fact, it isn't until after Dan Heng joins the Astral Express that he begins to fight back against the assertion that he must eternally suffer for the past; this is because this is when he finally has something other than himself to protect. We are directly shown this in his animated short, when the memory of the other members of the Express crew serve as the motivation to spur Dan Heng out of the internal conflict he was drowning in, and also as his prime reason for going to meet with the others in the HCQ aboard the Luofu:

This is likely possible largely due both to the fact that Vidyadhara cannot succumb to mara, as well as the fact that he doesn't have the same specific memories as the others, and so he is not shackled to the same chains that now bind Blade and Jingliu.

———

Blade and Jingliu

In Blade’s youth, Jingliu describes him as someone who was “defiant” in a way she claimed not to like. I find this fascinating given that the two are so incredibly similar at present, which I feel is due in part to Blade’s unwavering respect for her even after the pain she caused him, both because of who she is as the former Sword Champion and the amount of Abundance abominations she alone had been able to slay, as well as the pain she inflicted giving him new purpose, a choice to give him a “second chance” despite at one point having wished to leave him to his misery as a fate worse than death, as described in her character story.

Both Blade and Jingliu experienced great suffering in their childhoods

Blade's swordsmanship ability comes directly from Jingliu’s tutelage

His personal oath comes directly from Jingliu, as she forced it into his psyche over and over through death and rebirth in order to force him to remember:

They both took on deals through which they are able to have access to suppression for their mara:

And both are fighting towards goals that are implied to, at least currently, be impossible (following who I believe to be extremely suspicious individuals):

Also, both are equally stubborn, seen both through their refusal to take no as an answer to Dan Heng's wishes to no longer associate with them and through their refusal to listen to anything that may trigger or directly refute their perceptions of reality:

But most importantly:

Blade and Jingliu both became mara-struck very quickly after Baiheng’s death.

It's repeatedly mentioned that mara is linked to to the artificially stretched lifespans of Xianzhou natives, but also that a fundamental aspect of the affliction is tied to the accumulation of painful memories. Given that vast scope of the destruction that occurred during this bane, and the extreme closeness both Jingliu and Blade had to the deceased and beloved Baiheng (in addition to the trauma of being transmuted into another species entirely, in Blade's case), it's no surprise that both of them are affected so deeply. Additionally, a common treatment for mara is avoiding accessing painful memories or suppressing/removing them entirely.

As Blade himself states that the effects of mara affliction are unique to the individual, I can't make a sweeping judgement of the symptoms all the mara-struck; the specific manifestations of Jingliu and Blade's afflictions, however, can be related to the concept of complicated grief:

We see these symptoms heavily within Jingliu, who literally wears a blindfold to avoid seeing anything that can trigger painful memories, has a voiceline describing how she can't remember many details of the time she and Baiheng spent together, speaks how she's plagued with nightmares about Baiheng, and she refuses to not only prohibit herself from forgetting the pain of what happened to her that day, but also the remaining members of the HCQ.

Similar observations can be made for Blade; he notably speaks very little and withdraws from most social situations, not wanting to take part in “annoying conversations.” His particular form of mara affliction is, by his own admission, unusual and devoid of any real emotion. The few moments of reprieve are spent either thinking too much or not thinking of anything at all. When his mara strikes, though, he shuts down, going completely numb and lashing out at whatever's in his way- not unlike certain displays of trauma responses in real life. He asks directly, “Why does someone like her have to be buried, burned to ash, and eventually forgotten...? Why!?” And given Yingxing being quoted saying directly during this quest that he doesn't wish for an overly long life, and Blade's intense suicidal ideations in the present, it's not a far reach to suggest that he also wishes that he died with her or in her stead.

And both are unable to find purpose in a life without her:

Blade and Jingliu both accuse Dan Heng of being unwilling to accept the past, but both of them are quite literally and physically unable to do so themselves— Dan Heng was even the only one to have spent extended time in the Shackling Prison, even though he should not have had to due to his rebirth, while both Blade and Jingliu were both wanted criminals who managed to escape. They both walk carrying the pain of the past through the present because they feel empty without it. And, unlike Dan Heng, neither one of them have a future that they feel can look forward to.

On that note, Jing Yuan, the only member of the HCQ who is capable of succumbing to mara and yet hasn't, is also the only member to directly acknowledge Dan Heng's autonomy and existence. This extends to Dan Feng as well, as both Blade and Jingliu most often refer to both Dan Heng and Dan Feng interchangeably with the title of Imbibitor Lunae, rather than their names.

The only ones to continue to deny Dan Heng's existence and rebirth are those who are unable to leave the past behind, such as the mirage echoes forever tied to Scalegorge Waterscape, as well as Blade and Jingliu, forever tied to their own suffering.

[Side note: This is exactly why I believe HYV decided to have 1.3 end with an entire questline based around the showing the process of accepting death and healthy grieving: to act as a direct juxtaposition to Blade and Jingliu, who both are unable to engage in the process themselves.] ————

Yingxing and Dan Feng/Blade and Dan Heng

Yingxing the Furnace Master and High Elder Dan Feng were very close. They were good friends, yes, but they were also bad for each other, according to Kafka:

Which would be easy enough on its to write off as her own interpretation of a story she’s heard but doesn’t know enough to understand. But Jingliu, the living member of the HCQ most affected by their actions, shows agreement with her assessment, pointing out that she’d found it strange “to see someone so arrogant get along with someone so proud.”

These specific traits are mentioned and attributed to them multiple times— the arrogant craftsman and the proud high elder. The reason for this is also stated by Kafka: “Together, they did something bad— something terrible. It led to horrific consequences.”

The emphasis that they did it together, almost directly after stating that the pair were bad for one another (which was a conscious choice to have her say, as her statements of their shared mistake and Blade's memory loss would have sufficed on their own), is important not simply because they both made and adhered to the plan; it’s important because it implies that it was directly because it took the two of them specifically to create the chaos and unrest that took place and not anyone else. This isn’t a condemnation of either of them as individuals, but Jingliu herself points out that even the smartest people can make extremely ill-advised decisions in the heat of the moment.

If Yingxing hadn’t arrogantly believed himself alone capable of handling and utilizing the remains of the very Emanator it took a plethora of combatants including the entire HCQ to take down (likely leading to the loss in the usability of his hands as a result):

If Dan Feng hadn’t proudly believed his “salvation” more righteous than the autonomy of those mortals he sought to save, "letting" them continue living as though the right to withhold the honor of dying for a cause they believed in was his alone, while also seeming to blindly believe himself incapable of being deceived or misunderstanding something:

None of the resulting fallout would have happened.

Only one with powers like those of the High Elder of the Vidyadhara could have attempted what Dan Feng did, and only an outworlder who has experienced the allure of immortality and experienced the fear of not having enough time would be willing to assist, given the Xianzhou’s stance on acts regarding immortality.

Furnace Master and High Elder, filled with blind confidence in themselves, blind confidence in each other, enabling each other (Yingxing calling out to Dan Feng and implying that they had to be the ones to make a choice, Dan Feng being moved by his human heart’s words and his own exhaustion with watching the deaths of those around him) to make a dangerous choice at a critical moment when their close companion is in mortal peril (more accurately already dead but they couldn’t accept that), and make the decision to ignore the autonomy of everyone involved. They had no contingency plan because they were sure that, with each other, that it would work. Because of this, they both share the blame, their noble intentions not enough to outweigh their unforgivable sin.

Jing Yuan is noted to have “always understood the price better than any of [the HCQ], yet he never spoke up, never did anything”, but anyone who has had the experience of trying to tell an arrogant or prideful person that they’re wrong or making a mistake knows that that’s an uphill battle on its own. Add in that it would be two against one (one of whom he already canonically bickered with constantly throughout their companionship), asking two of the most stubborn people he knew to give up on their desire to save the beloved (for Yingxing, Baiheng; for Dan Feng, his people), the two that were closer to each other than he was with either of them (not to imply that the HCQ weren’t all very close to each other because they definitely were but in obv differing ways) right in the middle of a high stress situation where there’s no time for arguing, and what remains is Jing Yuan with no options but to watch as disaster unfolded before him and everyone else, knowing that their minds were already made up.

Yingxing never wanted to be immortal or to see Baiheng suffering, but his own hubris helped lead to both.

Dan Feng never wanted to endure the sight of meaningless death, and yet directly caused it due to his pride, believing he had the right to play god and interfere with the natural process of death, or to consider that he may be wrong.

They were good friends who were bad for each other, and good people who made an exceedingly bad decision.

In the present, it’s been over 700 years since the last meeting of the High-Cloud Quintet, meaning Yingxing and Dan Feng have been essentially dead for roughly 7x the length of the HCQ’s entire existence. Their new identities, Blade and Dan Heng are clearly meant to parallel each other, but as opposing forces going in different directions, given Blade’s unwavering desire to die, and Dan Heng’s unwavering desire to live and to protect those he cares for. Both were put through immense suffering that, in the same vein, provided the means of “freedom” for them— Blade, through the sword; Dan Heng, through banishment. And both have found new colleagues to consider allies, though even the two groups are opposed to one another.

At this point in time, they’re enemies in all respects, and the chances of any reconciliation between them in my opinion is VERY slim for multiple reasons not limited to how much time has already passed at this point:

1) Dan Heng does not trust Blade at all and actively considers him one of the biggest threats to both his own and his companions’ safety, with good reason. The only way this could feasibly change is if Blade were to stop hunting him, which likely would not happen because

2) Blade is wholly devoted to Elio’s predictions for him, which Dan Heng’s existence would be paradoxical to. One of Blade’s wishes is to kill Imbibitor Lunae specifically in revenge, and he doesn’t (or can't) accept Dan Heng’s existence; if what Dan Heng claims about his identity is true, then that could only mean the future Elio promised must be false, which would strip him of the only purpose he has left in this world, leaving him as an empty, undying husk. This matter is also complicated by the fact that

3) There is still no cure for the mara that afflicts Blade, which would be the only avenue through which Blade could even begin to consider accepting Dan Heng and potentially reconciling. Both he and Jingliu were able to discover methods of having it suppressed, but both were temporary fixes: Jingliu notes that her time is beginning to run out, and Kafka had to use alternate means to reduce the potency of the mara within Blade after it violently flared up after merely being on the Xianzhou, which is likely the only reason the meeting between the HCQ could even take place with his attendance. On top of this, there’s also the fact that

4) Blade’s feelings for Dan Feng are likely very complex as well. Deep down, there’s clearly still some fondness there in the way Blade looks back on the time spent with Dan Feng, but he’s also one of the people he deeply resents and wants to see dead, which I believe could be due to his belief that it’s Dan Feng’s fault that Baiheng died. There is a choice-dependent voiceline from Baiheng deep within Dan Heng's memories that calls out to him to save them from the starskiff, but we know that it crashed. He tried to invoke the Transmutation Arcaneum, but it failed, instead turning Baiheng into a half-dragon monstrosity whose wails of pain echoed all around them. And then, though he wasn’t the one to deal the final blow, he might as well have by giving the location of the dragon’s weak spot to Jingliu. To top everything off, everything ended with Blade within an immortal body, one that leaves him in constant pain, particularly during the healing process after “death”.

From his perspective, it’s easy to see just why Blade could place the blame of Baiheng’s burial and the near destruction of the Luofu solely on Dan Feng, accusing Dan Feng alone of being the one to stubbornly adhere to the plan; it’s also easy to point out Blade’s hypocrisy given his role as Dan Feng’s accomplice. There are multiple potential reasons for this in my opinion: his brain, afflicted by both mara and prior memory loss (though he never forgets Dan Feng’s eyes or “how cruelty burst out from beneath the mirror-like emerald calmness”); his arrogance, leading him to absolve himself of any guilt or wrongdoing because he believes himself incapable of failing; the current youth-like quality of his mind, reduced to immaturely (by which I purely mean the dictionary definition of having/showing emotional development of someone younger) craving nothing but revenge while simultaneously absolving responsibility by saying “He did it! Not me!”. Also, considering Jingliu’s dialogue to Dan Feng where she says to him “If your death can return everything to how it was, I would do it,” and the many ways Blade already emulates Jingliu, it isn’t too difficult to consider that he may have taken that duty on himself out of grief and longing.

Along with these reasons, the narrative emphasizes that even almost a millennium after Yingxing and Dan Feng’s deaths, destruction follows in their wake whenever their new lives cross paths. Dan Heng learned this quickly, hence his fervent desire to keep distance and his relative uncertainty of anywhere that could possibly be safe for him, though he also learned rather quickly that this was futile. Blade was always able to find him, entire spaceships destroyed in his unshakable desire to kill him. On the Xianzhou, not only was Dan Heng dragged into a fight with Blade, but so too was Yanqing. This cycle of destruction is implied to have been so constant for Dan Heng that it’s likely the entire reason he never feels safe or feels unable to confide in anyone so as to not risk putting them in danger.

----

The Destruction Trio

Imbibitor Lunae, Blade, and Jingliu all being on the path of destruction is no coincidence given their histories. The three “sinners” all shared a key trait: being able to cope with death and painful losses. Both Yingxing and Dan Feng viewed her as arrogant and proud, respectfully, which was another commonality between them. This leads all three of them to not only become the orchestrators of their own self-destruction, but the destruction of those around them as well: Dan Feng witnessing countless deaths and being forced to be reborn as another; Yingxing’s loss of his gift and creative abilities as well as the transformation into the immortal Blade who only sees himself as a weapon; Jingliu’s abandonment of her sacred oath and everyone she killed during her time under the influence of the mara poisoning her mind. Only Dan Heng walks a different path, as he is the only one to have directly stated that he accepts the past that happened but refuses to let it stain his bright future.

The three of them are also intrinsically linked in their pain. Dan Feng and Yingxing's mistake led directly to Jingliu's suffering; Jingliu's treatment of Blade led to his becoming a living weapon and catching the eye of the Stellaron Hunters, and also to him being able to inflict similar suffering to Dan Heng by hunting him constantly. Blade and Jingliu both are of the mind that this is inevitable and inescapable, but only Dan Heng is in a position to be able and willing to question whether he really does have to continue feeling that pain.

While it's still very early on in HSR's lifespan making it difficult to make any real concrete theories, for now I predict that Jingliu will die in her attempt to kill the Abundance, and I also believe her to be aware of this deep down, as she likely sees this as a way for her to atone and find her peace. It also makes most sense for Blade to die at some point as well, considering his parallels to Jingliu, his current character and the fact that while Yingxing used to fear not having enough time in life when he was young, he came to accept his mortality in his elder years after the full life he lived with the HCQ; it could even possibly be in defense of Dan Heng, which could provide a full-circle end to their cycle and their story, a form of closure that no other broken pair has seemed to get so far. Their respective character stories, while directly representing their current struggles, can also be viewed as allusions to their fates as well, with Blade's referring to his death and Dan Heng's highlighting him seeing the dawn of a new day. I also think it could be feasible for the discovery of a method to remove Blade's mara and for him to grow content with the Blade of today, even with powers he doesn't want, similar to Dan Heng accepting that Imbibitor Lunae's powers will always be a part of him; a "miraculous cure" sort of ending could be very clunky if not handled well in my opinion, though.

----

The Reunion

Though it's phrased in a metaphorical way, I feel pretty sure that not only did we just see the reunion alluded to by the PoWC bracer, but also that this is another remnant of Jingliu’s influence that some part of Blade’s subconscious must have clung to:

Note the usage of “should”, a term with many meanings but the most applicable being “expressing a conjecture or hope,” rather than something like “will”, which would indicate future tense or an inevitable event.

Jingliu’s splash art alone shows her pouring out a cup of alcohol

In Jingliu’s character story, Baiheng is said to have brought Jingliu “divine nectar from the other side of the universe”

At the beginning of the companion quest, in the Seat of Divine Foresight, she mentions wanting to have a glass of wine and reminisce with old friends

She is the one to bring the jade flask that Blade handcrafted himself for her when she releases the starskiff in her memory

When the remaining quartet reach Scalegorge Waterscape, she directly mentions that she never believed the 4 of them, with their many grudges and all friendship lost, would gather again and specifically quantifies the hundreds of years that have passed

She does this twice more, mentioning the seven centuries and how they all did this 700 hundred years ago

She is the one to point out that, in the past, they all promised to meet together again for a drink no matter what happened

She says that she believed “those joyful days would flow indefinitely before us” which also fits within the imagery of drinking

There are multiple visual nods to drinking in her flashbacks as well: there’s the quintet having a toast, as well as Jingliu pouring out the alcohol once again while Yingxing sips off to the side, which symbolically is a good representation of the way she poured so much of herself into Blade (whether intentionally or unintentionally) that so much of him resembles her now, down to the bow on the back of his clothes (and even their similar splash arts). There’s also a glimpse of Yingxing and Jing Yuan drinking together. Because both of them were children when they each met Jingliu for the first time, it makes sense that Jingliu and the others were likely the ones to teach the pair to drink once they each came of age.

Jingliu mentions that they will likely never all meet again, and bids farewell to the HCQ.

Finally, at the very end of the quest, she directly says:

Blade mentions alcohol only once, when he says, "The miraculous thing is that in my brief moment of death... all the pain went away... like when we drank to drown our sorrows." In Jingliu's case, we know that she was affected in much the same way as Blade, becoming more confident and boastful under the effects of drinking, mentioning that the nightmares and pain from her childhood memories were no longer so terrifying. For both of them, alcohol is another form of suppression of pain, not unlike substance abuse seen in real life, which grieving individuals are at higher risk of falling victim to.

While it’s possible this wasn’t the reunion that alluded to and they could technically all reunite once more in the future, the sheer number of references to the contents of the backstory mentioned in the bracer lead me to believe that this isn’t the case, as well as Jingliu stating herself that this would likely be their final meeting before she pays her own ultimate price. Not to mention the fact that very specific circumstances had to be in play for Jingliu/Luocha, the Stellaron Hunters, and the Astral Express to all end up on Jing Yuan’s doorstep at the same time. Specificity like that is rarely duplicated, particularly in HSR’s canon, which features many characters with formerly close bonds being separated for whatever reason with no closure to their relationship. The four of them even getting one reunion was a blessing in itself, even though none of them felt particularly happy about it afterwards.

TLDR: Dan Heng is accused of running from his past, but he is the only one of the three "sinners" capable and willing to do so; Jingliu and Blade are heavy parallels of each other and share the same pains of complicated grief; Yingxing and Dan Feng together (and Blade and Dan Heng by association) bring out the worst in each other and represent a cycle of destruction that neither of them are currently able to escape from; the reunion mentioned by the bracer was likely Jingliu's idea that Blade also began to internalize and we likely just watched it occur; Dan Feng, Blade, and Jingliu were all incapable of handling death and loss and this inability is what lead to the three of them causing so much pain and destruction for themselves, each other, and everyone around them.

[punkassfrance]

Sierra Nevada - Chapter XIII - Ellie/Abby

Chapter XIII: For Once In My Life (Work length ~2.2k) This work is rated M for canon-typical violence and gore. Please look here for a full list of warnings for the series, specific warnings will be provided at the start of each chapter. This chapter contains: graphic descriptions of injury, wounds, and a near-death experience (all in memory.) Previous Chapter - Full Series - Next Chapter

Ellie

“Good times for a change…”

Ellie’s not sure what to make of what just happened.

Abby was just staring off into the wall, minding her business, when Ellie spaced out. Things she’d noticed before stood out to her for one shining moment. The brunette streaks in Abby’s dirty blonde hair, the little scars on her face and arms, the freckles dusted across her cheeks. She didn’t even realize how creepy the staring must have been until she looked away, analyzing the wood grain in the cabinets. Then it hit her. Something hit her.

Abby’s…

She didn’t mean to run off without any kind of explanation, but she couldn’t bring herself to say anything more than a half-assed goodnight. She’s not even sure what she would say. Sorry? Knock it off? Fuck you? All of the above and more?

Curled on her side with a fleece blanket tossed over her, Ellie huffs and stares into the depths of the poster on her ceiling. She doesn’t know what the movie is, she just liked it when she found it. It’s almost comforting now, gazing into the design with bleary eyes as her high brain tries to make sense of what just happened.

She doesn’t want to admit any of it even to herself, but it’s only natural, she supposes. Abby’s objectively attractive, and Ellie hasn’t seen another person for at least a year before she and Lev showed up. They may have a complicated past, but Ellie’s not made of stone. It’s fine, it’s fine. There’s nothing to worry about.

She’d pushed a tape into her cassette player before laying down, one from the previous owner’s collection. It seems they had good taste at least, The Smiths playing just loud enough to halfway drown out her thoughts.

Abby killed Joel. There’s no denying that. No changing it. No fixing it.

“So, for once in my life, let me get what I want…”

I destroyed her life too.

“…lord knows it would be the first time.”

Fuck, we were both just kids.

She’s spent a lot of nights like this. Staring up at her ceiling intoxicated, wondering what went wrong, deciding who to blame, cursing God, debating if he’s up there at all. She never reaches a solid conclusion. Abby’s a returning guest to these hours-long spirals of hers. If anything, she’s one of the most frequent topics.

It occurs to her that Abby has been a lot of things to Ellie over the last few years. She’s been a wolf, a target, a victim, an enemy, a nuisance, a reluctant ally, and now…what? Ellie doesn’t even know what to call her now. Now she’s just a person. Not even just a person. She’s a girl.

Lev will be healed soon. He has to be. She won’t kick them out a moment before he’s ready—Lev doesn’t deserve to suffer Ellie’s crisis. He’s suffered enough at her hands already. When he’s recovered and they can run off to wherever the hell they were going, Ellie can freak out about this all she wants. She can get back to her miserable life, get back to drinking herself to death and wishing things were different.

What would I even do if things were different? Who could I have been?

Ellie closes her eyes, squeezing them shut as the song fades out.

Who could we have been?

-

Abby

Abby scratches at a mysterious stain on the sheets as Lev snores quietly beside her. It’s mildly annoying, but the confirmation that he’s alive is reassuring. The high is still there, still making it hard to focus on any one train of thought, but she keeps coming back to the same things.

It occurred to her to check up on Ellie after she ran out—Abby’s not sure why she didn’t. The door slammed shut down the hallway and she knew Ellie was in her room, somewhere Abby’s never been invited, somewhere she’s a little nervous to venture into. It felt like Ellie didn’t want company anyway. Abby knows she’s a little less than mentally stable, who isn’t, but it’s hard to say what freaked her out this time. At least she didn’t try to pick a fight about it, whatever it was—Abby would have been in no state to make any kind of argument.

Still, she wonders. Maybe worries a little. Ellie’s been so much less hostile in the last few weeks. She’s not stupid enough to think Ellie’s completely over the things they’d gone through, the things Abby had done, but she’s been kind enough to at least warrant a little concern when she’s upset.

Abby sighs and rolls onto her back, squinting up at the ceiling as Lev mumbles softly in his sleep. He’s doing a lot better, it seems. Abby doesn’t know where the two of them would be without Ellie’s help. She’d taken them in, sewn him up, kept him fed and warm, even gone with Abby to get medications when she didn’t have to. The way things happened between her and Ellie were…regrettable, but she’s going to owe Ellie on some level for the rest of her life for the things she’s done to save Lev.

Thinking back, she realizes Ellie never answered her question. Abby has no idea how long she’s been living alone out here, how long she’s been in this self-inflicted exile. It’s been a little more than a year since Abby left her behind on the beach, has she been alone this entire time? Someone cared for her before, Abby knows that, but how long has it been? She said she hadn’t seen Dina in “a while”, which is vague enough to make Abby wonder.

Still. She can’t shake the look on Ellie’s face as she spaced out, the face she saw when Abby turned her head and caught Ellie watching her. It was almost confused, like she was putting pieces together, but the puzzle didn’t make any sense. Then her eyes went wide and she bailed with a pathetic excuse. Abby doesn’t know what to make of it.

Studying the pattern in the plastered ceiling, the memory itches at Abby. She can’t shake the feeling that something’s wrong, that this is something Abby should check on, that Ellie needs someone to check on her. She knows Ellie just well enough to know she’d never ask for someone to make sure she’s okay.

Maybe she just got emotional about Dina. Abby doesn’t know the details of the breakup, but from the few details she’s heard, it couldn’t have been good. They had a child together, after all. What happened? What could have driven away someone who went to Seattle with Ellie after mere weeks of dating?

She’s not sure, but the curiosity is getting to her. There’s a lot of unanswered questions about Ellie, actually. One especially has lingered on her mind since she looked back at Ellie sitting in the water, disappearing into the fog.

Why did she let me go?

She was so sure it was over, on the beach. The water was filling her lungs, sounds from the depths of the ocean clanging around her head. That was supposed to be it. She remembers exactly what her last thoughts were, or what they were meant to be. Lev might have been able to get to safety, maybe the Fireflies would have found him, maybe not. Maybe he’d have died there in the boat, wondering what happened to Abby. The ocean would carry her body away eventually, morbid fodder for the depths. It wouldn’t have been the worst imaginable way to go. It would have certainly been better than being infected, or hung and gutted, or cooked in the California sun with Lev dying just feet away from her.

It was salty. The salt lingered in every wheezing breath for weeks after Santa Barbara, every word raspy and pained. She’d coughed up blood once or twice, but not enough to warrant serious concern. What would she have been able to do about it even if it was serious?

The bruises. God, the bruises. The cuts across her body and arms were bad enough, stinging with every movement, but the bruises lingered on her neck for a month at least. Intact mirrors are hard to find on the road, something that once annoyed her, but after that she couldn’t be more grateful. She’d only seen a few reflections in still water and broken glass, but when she got up the courage to look, she’d wanted to throw up. An impression of Ellie’s hands, lingering with her. The dark purple ring around her throat turned every color of the rainbow within a matter of days, hurting like hell the entire time it took to heal. Lev tried to tell her it wasn’t that bad, but his eyes flickered down every time they spoke, and the look on his face told her everything she needed to know.

Abby’s hand shifts under the covers, reaching up to touch her neck.

Ellie did that. Ellie hunted her down, chased her across the country twice. She wasn’t in good shape on the beach either. Her tank top was bloody, cuts across her face and body, hand covering what looked like a stab wound on her side. Abby can’t pretend to know what Ellie went through to get there. She doesn’t even know if she can bring herself to ask. But Abby knows what’s out there, and she knew the haunted face that looked up at her from the sand. Knew it by heart from still water and broken glass.

And then Ellie let her go.

It’s lingered in the back of her mind for months. At a certain point, she just accepted that she’d never get an answer. What was she going to do, hunt Ellie down just to psychoanalyze her? Why didn’t you kill me and do you want another shot at it? She had no choice but to focus on herself and Lev. It slipped into the back of her mind. The further she got from it, the longer her hair got, the more time passed, it got easier to forget about. It became something she only wondered about on nights like this. Alone, Lev asleep, too late for her to be awake. Usually, it’s after she wakes up from a nightmare, a shot for shot recall of that day on the beach.

But now Ellie’s here. Just down the hall. This time, she seems a lot less hellbent on murder. No, this time she’s welcomed them into her home, taken care of Lev, tossed a blanket over Abby in the cold. Ellie’s not out for blood this time. She’s even stopped looking at Abby like she’s the Antichrist.

Huffing and closing her eyes, Abby resolves to fall asleep before she hears a weak voice beside her.

”Abby…?”

She turns her head, lifting a hand to rest on Lev’s pillow. “Yeah?”

“Are you awake?”

“No. You’re talking to yourself.”

Lev is silent for a moment. She thinks she can see him smiling in the dark through the faint moonlight, but she can’t be sure.

“…are you and Ellie okay?”

Abby hesitates. “Yeah, we’re fine kiddo. Ellie cracked a rib but she’ll be alright.”

“Is she mad?”

“Why would she be mad…?”

Lev shrugs, turning to stare up at the ceiling before he tries to shift closer to Abby. She meets him halfway, turning onto her side and wrapping an arm over him.

“She got hurt getting medicine for me. I’d understand if she’s upset about it.”

“No, no. She’s glad she went.” Abby pauses, pressing her lips together as she debates what she’s about to say. “She didn’t have to go. She wanted to come with me.”

Lev is quiet. She can’t see his face all that well, but she wouldn’t be able to read his emotions even if she could. He never makes that easy on her.

“I know you and her didn’t have the best start, but I like her. She’s—”

“…kind of an asshole sometimes.”

“Yeah, but she’s done a lot for us.” Lev turns his head to face Abby. “…I think you both deserve to forgive each other.”

Abby tries not to rush into a response. Her immediate instinct is to snap, insist that Ellie’s done too much, that neither of them are worth saving, that this isn’t even Lev’s business. Guilt hits her at the last thought. Ellie said it herself; Abby made him a part of this.

But maybe he’s right. They’d done so much to each other. Ellie had ruined Abby’s life, but looking around at the prison Ellie’s made for herself, it’s hard to say Abby didn’t do the same. It’s hard not to feel guilty about her part in the way things went down. Guilt weighs on her shoulders about a lot of things, but Ellie has always lingered in the back of her mind as one of her biggest regrets. The image of Ellie on the beach, sobbing into the water and fading into the fog never quite left her.

“…it’s not really up to me.”

“Half of it is.”

Abby closes her eyes, exhaling. He might be right, but she doesn’t need to admit that.

“It’s not something you have to worry about. Go back to sleep.”

“Only if you do.”

She smiles, nodding against the pillow. “Fine.”

Lev inches closer to her, tucking his head under her chin as they doze off.

"Please, please, please let me get what I want" is just too Ellie-coded for me to resist. Hope you enjoyed the chapter!! So much is just around the corner…

Thank you to @plum98 for the forest divider! Feel free to say hi or drop your thoughts in my askbox, check out my AO3 or my about me if you're interested!

Series Taglist: @a-little-bit-of-everybody

[helloalycia]

𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐀𝐃𝐌𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐑 [𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄] // 𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐘 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐁𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐃

summary: with everything left in limbo between you and Lucy Gray, there's no chance to talk about it because reaping day is finally upon you.

warning/s: usual warnings that come with the Hunger Games, such as death and violence and all that jazz. Also cheating, again.

author's note: and this is the final part! it was a fun one to write so i hope you all enjoyed it! kinda have an idea for another lucy gray one but whether it’s fully thought out is another thing, so stay tuned! 😂

one / two / masterlist / wattpad

As if things weren't bad enough lately, the Hunger Games reaping day was finally upon us. Every year I tried so hard to forget it existed, knowing the results would be inevitable and I should just make the most of my life without worrying about it, and every year I found myself growing scared the few days leading up to it, mainly because it meant it was one year closer to Y/S/N being old enough to have her name in the mix.

My parents, Y/S/N and I were approaching the square where the reaping took place, neither of us saying a word, but I could see their fear in their eyes. Y/S/N was holding my hand, trembling slightly, and I hated that there was nothing I could do to put her at ease.

My eyes raked over the residents of District 12, all getting in line as the peacekeepers kept guard, and then Y/S/N tugged at my hand, making me look down at her with concern. She nodded to the left of me, where the Covey were getting ready to line up. Barb Azure was the eldest at nineteen, so gave them all a big squeeze with Maude Ivory before leaving them to go. I caught her gaze and she gave me a sad smile, nodding reassuringly, and I did the same. Maude Ivory seemed to spot Y/S/N and lifted her hand in a slow wave. I noticed the only person who was missing from their group was Lucy Gray. Where was she?

"Why don't you go stand with Maude Ivory?" I encouraged Y/S/N with my best attempt at a smile. "Her and Barb Azure are probably lonely."

Y/S/N glanced at our parents, who seemed to understand what I was doing and nodded with approval.

"Good luck, Y/N," Y/S/N mumbled as she hugged me tightly once more, and I almost didn't let go.

After she ran to join the others, I gave both my parents a final hug, pretending I couldn't notice the tears in their eyes, and watched as they joined the rest of the crowd at the back, made up of those either too young or too old to take part.

As I turned to find my place in line, Lucy Gray suddenly appeared, startling me. I hadn't seen her since a few days ago when she kissed me, and it had ended so awkwardly that I still wasn't sure what to think. But right now, it was the last thing on my mind.

"Just wanted to see you before it starts," she said kindly, and my heart warmed at her words.

"How are you feeling?" I asked her, noticing the frown on her lips, and it looked like something more than just everyone's usual fear of the Games.

She sighed, looking down at her fumbling hands, before avoiding the question and instead saying, "I'm sorry about the other day, Y/N. I really am."

I lifted my brows slightly, not expecting her to bring it up, especially not now.

"Thanks for everything," she continued, a tight smile on her lips. "For being there for me."

"What?" I asked, because she wasn't making any sense. "Lucy Gray, I–"

She hugged me suddenly, arms wrapping around my shoulders briefly, but long enough for me to smell the spritz of an old floral perfume on her neck and make my head go cloudy. Leaning back, she kissed my cheek before I could react, and gave me a knowing look as my skin warmed where her lips just were.

"Remember to stay away from Billy Taupe and Mayfair," she reminded me sternly. "You promised, remember?"

I furrowed my brows, searching her eyes for some sort of explanation to why she was acting so strangely. "Lucy Gray–"

"In line, both of you, now," a peacekeeper interrupted, pushing between us and shoving me slightly to the others.

I tried to look at Lucy Gray once more, but she offered me a slight smile before joining her line. I told myself I'd have to talk to her afterwards, but then as the reaping took place, I realised why she'd been so confusing.

She was to represent District Twelve in the Hunger Games.

I could hardly believe it, not when the mayor called her name out on the stage, not when she threw a snake down Mayfair's dress, not when she sang her song of defiance, and not when they whisked her away, never to be seen again.

She knew she was going to be chosen. I wasn't sure how, but she'd figured it out, already prepared to go out with a bang, in typical Lucy Gray fashion.

It wasn't fair. All because Mayfair held a pathetic grudge, she'd made sure Lucy Gray paid the price – it had to be that, otherwise what was the need for the snake? And now I was never going to see her again. After everything, I couldn't talk to her, hear her voice, see her pretty little smile, ever again.

Why?

I was hurting, still in disbelief but knowing the Covey were even worse for wear, definitely unable to accept that their sister was truly gone. Unfortunately, I had to work that evening, but the Covey weren't performing tonight. There was nothing to celebrate, and even the Hob itself was emptier than usual, nobody quite in the mood to remember the stolen life of another.

Instead, the Covey were sat at a table in the corner, saying nothing and looking distraught. I wasn't sure what to do to make them feel better because how could they? All I knew how to do was be a waitress, so Miles let me bring them some fruity, non-alcoholic drinks on the house, a rarity and a treat, but one they definitely needed right now.

"Hey, guys," I said, tray in hand as I approached their table. Setting it down, I began to share out the drinks one by one.

"We can't afford that," Barb Azure mumbled, and neither of them touched it.

"It's my treat," I said sympathetically. "Thought it might make you feel a bit better."

"How are we supposed to feel better when she's gone?!" Maude Ivory snapped in a broken voice, before jumping off her seat and walking away.

I swallowed hard, suddenly feeling stupid as I looked to the others. "Sorry, I– she's right. I didn't mean it like–"

"Don't, it's okay," Tam Amber cut me off with an apologetic glance. "We're just missin' her. It's hit Maude Ivory hard."

I pressed my lips together, nodding sadly.

"Thanks, Y/N, we appreciate it," Barb Azure added, offering a small smile, before taking a sip.

"If you need anything, just let me know," I told them earnestly. "I'll be here for you."

They nodded, and I reluctantly left them to it, knowing they probably wanted some space.

There had never been a winner from District 12, and I hated that that's all I kept thinking as I thought about Lucy Gray in the Games. She could still win, there was a chance she could, but she was a performer, not a fighter. Her chances were slim. There, but slim.

We couldn't watch the Games, the Covey and I – nobody in District 12 could. The reception was simply terrible, no matter how hard we tried to tune in. There was one evening however, when Y/S/N and I were at the Covey's home. We'd been visiting them often the past few days, both to cheer Y/S/N up and to simply be there for them, but this night was different. Tam Amber had been able to get some signal on their small TV, using a lot of tinfoil and taking advantage of the clear night.

"It's on! It's on!" Maude Ivory shouted, pointing at the screen. "Don't move!"

Tam Amber held his position on the antenna, tilting his head to get a good look at the screen. Clerk Carmine turned up the volume and I wasn't sure what we were watching at first, unfamiliar with the Hunger Games as we rarely had access to it. And then I noticed the expensive clothing, the bright lights, the witty presenter – it was in the Capitol. Some sort of interviews were taking place between the tributes. A girl from District 11 was finishing up her interview and we all watched with slight amazement, rarely seeing anything like it.

A spotlight shone onstage and the audience fell quiet. It was quiet, before the familiar sound of a guitar strumming sounded, and to everyone's disbelief, Lucy Gray walked out into the centre of the stage.

"Lucy Gray!" everyone said with realisation.

It was her! It was really her! Only a few days had passed since she'd been stolen away, but it felt like forever without her energetic presence alongside us. My heart was beating exceptionally fast as I studied her. She was wearing the same dress she wore on reaping day, but it looked as if it had been cleaned, ironed and made brighter – a white dress with vibrant rainbow ruffles at the bottom, only the brightest for someone who loved colour. Her lips were painted red, eyes dusted blue, and she looked as well as could be, though a little slimmer. I wondered if they were feeding her, concerned it could hinder her in the Games.

Her voice started soft, gradually growing strong as she sung about herself and a mystery lover, whom everyone soon realised was Billy Taupe. And as she finished her hauntingly beautiful song – "Too bad I'm the bet that you lost in the reaping. Now what will you do when I go to my grave?" – we realised she'd only confirmed our suspicions of it being because of him and Mayfair that Lucy Gray was chosen as a tribute.

"It's their fault," Clerk Carmine said what everyone was thinking, upset as it dawned on him what kind of brother he had. "He let this happen."

Y/S/N wrapped an arm around his shoulder comfortingly as we all watched the screen, the cutaways to the audience cheering after her performance. And then as we were all savouring the sight of Lucy Gray for a little longer, the signal cut out.

"Sorry," Tam Amber said with a sigh, stopping his stretching and sighing. "It's not gonna work."

"It's fine, thank you," Barb Azure told him.

Nobody spoke for a moment, the sound of the static the only thing to fill the room. If it was interviews today, then the Hunger Games would officially begin tomorrow.

She'd be fighting for her life tomorrow, and there was nothing we could do about it.

The Games ended yesterday, that's what rumours around town were saying, but nobody knew for sure since nobody could watch them, and so nobody knew who'd won either. I was trying not to think about it, unsure whether to believe it they'd truly ended or not. For all I knew, they could have still been going on, or they could have ended days ago. Either way, the last thing I wanted to imagine was Lucy Gray battered or bloodied or bruised.

Instead, I tried to distract myself with the job at hand – working. In particular, throwing some old beer crates out back in the bins as Miles had asked me to. I was on the third one, carrying it from the backdoor of the Hob and to the bins next to it when I felt someone's presence behind me. Curious, I turned around and my jaw dropped, the crate almost slipping from my grasp.

It was Lucy Gray.

"Hey, darlin', what's with the long face?" she asked, tilting her head and smiling playfully.

I blinked, certain I was imagining this – it wouldn't have been the first time she'd infiltrated my dreams. But when she didn't disappear, I found my voice.

"You're back," I said hesitantly, afraid I'd be mistaken. "You're here. You're– how? How are you here?"

"Why, I won the Hunger Games, of course," she said like it was nothing, an easy accomplishment, which we both knew it wasn't. "Turns out I wasn't finished here after all."

Her statement was so insane that I couldn't help but let out a quiet snicker, tears filling my eyes when I accepted that she was finally home. She'd done the impossible – she'd won.

Setting down the crate, I swallowed the lump in my throat before approaching her suddenly, pulling her in for a hug. She was here, she was real, she was home.

Her arms wrapped around me, squeezing me tightly, head tucking into my shoulder and curly brown hair blinding me. Every part of me was ignited by her touch, unable to believe she was actually here.

I wanted to say so much to her, and yet nothing came to mind because I was too overwhelmed with her presence, my senses invaded by her scent, her warmth, her touch. Just when I tried to pull back to truly look at her, she pulled me closer, tighter, and I couldn't do anything other than let her embrace me a little longer.

After a moment, I pulled back, eyes scanning her worriedly. She looked a little tired, circles under her eyes covered by makeup, and her hands were tougher than usual – I felt them through my shirt – no doubt a result of what she'd endured in the arena. But she was alive, and that was all I could have asked for.

"When?" I asked, voice embarrassingly thick with emotion. "When did you get back?"

"Midday," she answered, brown eyes bright as they flickered between mine with focus. "I went straight home after they sent me here on a train. Reunited with the family. Counted my lucky stars."

I smiled a little, still in disbelief, and hung onto her every word.

"Then I wanted to come 'n' see you," she continued lightheartedly, though there was some truth to it. "See if you'd forgotten about me."

I began to laugh, wiping away my stray tears. "I could never, Lucy Gray. Nobody could."

She smiled appreciatively, before looking down at her hands, long eyelashes casting a shadow across her face as she blinked. I could have watched her for a while, merely existing, glad that she was back, but she needed more than just another admirer right now.

"I won't ask you what it was like over there," I said gently, making her look up again. "I can imagine you don't wanna talk about it. But if you do, well... I'm here."

She exhaled through her nose, smile widening. "You haven't changed a bit, have you?"

I didn't know what to say, suddenly embarassed under her stare, and she chuckled at my reaction.

Clearing my throat, I changed the subject and pointed over my shoulder to the Hob. "Are you staying tonight?"

Her eyes flickered over to it, lighting up excitedly. "I might perform a few songs, why not?"

At this, I suppressed the urge to smile and admitted, "That would be nice. I missed hearing your voice. I– I missed you."

Her eyes fell back to mine, smile faltering a moment. "Even after how we left things?"

Our last encounter before the reaping came to mind, and I nodded honestly. "Especially after that."

She hummed, smile fading completely, and I wondered if she was thinking about it too.

"I've been so worried," I admitted, my heart beating a little quicker in my chest with each word I spoke. "We all have. But the TVs didn't work and the peacekeepers wouldn't tell us anything."

"I didn't mean to worry you," she said sweetly, taking my hand and squeezing it. "The Covey said you and Y/S/N checked in with them whilst I was gone. You didn't have to do that."

"Of course I did," I said, placing my other hand on hers and taking it between mine.

She glanced at her hand, making me realise I was still holding it, and I let go gently.

"I should go home and get ready," she said with a nod. "But I'll see you in a few hours, Y/N."

"Can't wait." 

Her smile widened and she turned to leave, my eyes unable to look away from her retreating figure for fear she'd only be a dream.

As promised though, she returned to the Hob a few hours later, and by then, word had spread fast about her victory and return. The Hob was bustling with people, all unable to believe Lucy Gray was finally back. Even Mayfair and Billy Taupe were there, mainly in disbelief that she'd survived, but I tried not to focus on them since they didn't matter anymore. They couldn't do a thing anymore.

The Covey hadn't performed since Lucy Gray left, so everyone was in for a real treat when they kicked off with her introduction. Spirits were high, drinks were flowing and I couldn't have been happier than when I saw Lucy Gray back onstage, where she belonged.

We'd left things in a strange place, but it all seemed so futile now. My heart was full of adoration for the Covey girl, and maybe it was time I just started listening to it instead of overcomplicating everything. 

It was a long evening, and by the time I'd finally finished cleaning up with Miles, we both left and waved goodbye to one another, my feet hurting from standing on them for so long. Only, as I was about to start my walk back to the Seam, I spotted Lucy Gray waiting outside, startling me.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she said between a laugh. "I didn't mean to scare you."

Hand to my chest as I regained composure, I said, "No, it's fine. It's... what are you still doing here? It's been half an hour."

When her and the Covey had finished performing for the evening, it had been too busy for me to spare a moment to say goodbye to them, so I'd just assumed Lucy Gray had gone home with them.

"I was waiting for you," she said simply, and I instantly felt bad.

"If I'd known, I would have hurried," I said, stepping towards her.

"It's okay, I didn't want you to rush," she assured me, before shrugging. "I missed you. It's been too long and I just wanted to walk you home."

My expression softened at her words, a warmth spreading in my chest. "You don't need to," I told her.

"I want to."

I pressed my lips together, exhaling quietly, before nodding and readjusting the strap of my bag on my shoulder. She flashed me a stunning smile before joining my side and leading the way.

"You did great tonight," I said to her, glancing over and trying to ignore the flutter in my chest at her profile. "Your songs, your spirit – everything."

Her smile grew. "Thank you, that means a lot. I guess I just really missed performin'. It's not the same as singin' for the Capitol."

"Tam Amber managed to get signal one night," I said without thinking. "The night of the interviews. We just about caught yours. Your song."

She sighed, her smile fading into more of a grimace as she remembered, and I felt bad for bringing it up.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to remind you," I quickly said, frowning. "I– never mind that."

"It's not so easy bein' back after everything," she admitted, looking to me, before stopping walking all of a sudden, I stopped too, and then she continued, "but I've realised a lot of things."

I furrowed my brows slightly. "Like what?"

She clenched her jaw, before her dark eyes met mine with conviction. "I didn't kiss you because you were Billy Taupe's replacement."

Surprised she'd bought it up, I asked, "What?"

She didn't dare look away as she answered, "Back before the reaping. When I kissed you at the bonfire. It– it wasn't me confusin' my feelings or usin' you, and I'm sorry if I made you feel that way."

I wasn't sure what to say at first, unable to make sense of what she was admitting. Because if that was the case, then that meant she liked me, and how could that be?

"It's okay," I said slowly, heart rate beginning to speed up as she held my gaze. "It's history now."

"I don't want it to be," she said desperately. "I missed you so much, Y/S/N. I was there and– and all I was thinkin' about was the Covey, your sister and you. All of you, and how I had to get back to you all." She swallowed hard, stepping closer. "With you, I need to clear the air. Because after everything, I've learnt that life is too short and too tender to let things slip by. And I've fallen for you, Y/N. Deeply. And you just– you need to know that that's why I kissed you. Nothin' more, nothin' less."

Frozen in place, I hoped she couldn't hear my heart hammering in my chest, or feel the shivers on my skin from the warmth emanating from hers. She was stood so close, enough for me to make out the tears pooling in her eyes, and I didn't know what to do. This whole time, she liked me. I wasn't a fool for thinking so – Billy Taupe had been wrong. All this time, I'd had a chance and it was almost ruined because of my own stupidity and insecurities.

"What are you thinkin'?" she asked between a halfhearted chuckle, a tear slipping from her eyes. "You're stuck in your head again, darlin'."

"I'm sorry, I–"

"Don't be sorry," she said, taking a step back, and she'd misinterpreted where I was going with this.

"No, I mean, I–" I began, but the words were lost on my tongue, and the more she looked disappointed, the stupider I felt. "I didn't know, Lucy Gray. I didn't expect it. Billy Taupe, he–"

Another of her tears fell, and I groaned quietly to myself, shaking my head. Why would I have ever listened to him in the first place?

"I'm sorry," I repeated, meeting her gaze with the utmost sincerity and guilt. "I should have never listened to the likes of him."

It was her turn to be confused. "What do you mean?"

"I let him get in my head," I admitted, cheeks heating with embarrassment. "He convinced me that you were using me as a replacement for him. That you only liked me because–" I stopped myself, it sounding stupid when I said it aloud, especially to the girl in question. "It was stupid. You would never do such a thing, I should've never listened to him."

She frowned, trying to find my eyes, but I was too embarrassed to look at her. "That sounds like him. I'm sorry he did that."

"No, I'm sorry," I said, shaking my head and getting stuck in my own head again. "I ruined this, and then you left, and all I kept thinking about was how I let you go, and if you didn't come back then–" I paused, frowning to myself, before finally lifting my eyes to meet hers. "I've always liked you, Lucy Gray, but so does everyone else. And I didn't wanna be just another Lucy Gray admirer. But you saying this– meaning this– it's just– you're just– it– you can't–"

She began to smile, nodding. "I get it."

I stopped talking, flustered and embarrassed and unsure what else to say or do, because after so long, the girl I liked actually liked me back.

She stepped toward, hand lifting to my cheek and cupping it gently, and I practically held my breath as her glassy eyes met mine. Then, she looked down to my lips and leaned in, kissing me.

Unlike last time, I let myself enjoy it, closing my eyes and kissing her back. Her lips were soft, sweet like her lip balm, and fit perfectly against mine. This couldn't be real, she couldn't be real. After everything that happened, she was here and I was getting a second chance. How?

After a moment, we both pulled away for air, though she didn't let go of my face just yet, nor I with my hands on her waist. I opened my eyes, submerged in pools of brown, and forgot how to speak, lips tingling where hers just were.

"I've wanted to do that for so long," she said quietly, thumb tracing my lips gently, and sending shivers all over my body. "I thought I ruined it, the last time. Lost you for good."

I shook my head. "I don't think you ever could, Lucy Gray."

A smile formed on her face, and then a laugh escaped her lips, and she looked at me once more, making me feel like the most important person in the world.

She kissed me again, and I wondered what I'd done to be so lucky.

[muses-with-afp]

In terms of Bleachy things that I am never not thinking about given my particular sort of brainrot, it would have to be Chapter 179, Confession in the Twilight. Today, I want to overthink long and hard about assumptions fandom often makes about Hisana. Some of these assumptions are not well-supported by the canon. Other of these assumptions likely stem from material added by the anime and/or the movie Fade to Black.

Because I'm sort of "meh" on the supplementary material from the anime and pretty "blah" on the Bleach movies overall, I will stick to the manga. (I am also a simple creature with only two brain cells to rub together now-a-days so... there's that, too.) I am sure there are more assumptions one could pick apart and torture to death, but for the sake of brevity (I write cackling because when am I ever brief?) below are my top three.

1. Assumption One: Hisana had no spiritual power/pressure

This one is odd to me because we, the audience, do not have a whole lot of evidence to base this assumption off of. Byakuya never says anything of this sort to Rukia during the confession:

Although, it is possible that Hisana was spiritually weak, and what made it difficult for her to survive was taking care of a baby with significant spiritual pressure/power. This explanation is entirely possible, but, based on the English translation, it is not the only interpretation one could draw.

Honing in on the"[b]ut it was hard for her to survive there while caring for you..." bit, this could suggest that Hisana, in fact, needed more than vibes and water to survive herself. We get a sense in Bleach that siblings often have similar capacities in terms of spiritual power and pressure, and we know Rukia is spiritually gifted. Accordingly, one could make the leap that Hisana, too, had some spiritual capacity. Now, I think the case for sibling similarities in spiritual talents is probably strongest for the souls born in SS since they presumably are most "genetically" related (or whatever concept passes for "genetic" relationships in SS), one assumes. This, of course, also assumes you buy the idea that Hisana and Rukia were just ordinary souls who passed from the WOTL to SS. KT, however, has thrown a wrench into this explanation by suggesting that Rukia is a secret... eighth thing/potential hybrid. (At least, I think we are up to eight soul "ecotypes" now .... Maybe it's nine if we add in the lore from Burn the Witch.) Perhaps this secret variation/hybrid is specific to Rukia, or maybe it applies to both sisters equally.

Other evidence that could support Hisana as having some spiritual capacity (beyond being a spiritual dandelion) includes:

According to Renji, the only way to escape Inuzuri was to attend the Academy/become a shinigami. It's possible that Renji was speaking only in terms of "legality" (i.e., the only legal way to leave your assigned district/town/placement is to gain admittance to the Academy) since we know Kenpachi and crew exist. Could Hisana have gotten out of Inuzuri using the Academy loophole? Sure! Why not? Was Hisana a bloody tank like Kenpachi and fought her way out of the city? Maybe but probably not, since she felt driven to abandon her sister, which doesn't seem very warlord-like of her. Maybe Hisana never actually left Inuzuri after the abandonment. The "[a]bandoned you and ran" (emphasis mine) part of the story makes it sound like she left the city, but maybe she just ran away from Rukia and went to another part of Inuzuri or the district.

Rukia somehow managed to survive (i.e., maybe it wasn't the demands (or just the demands) of a spiritually needy baby that drove Hisana to abandon her). We don't know much/anything about the period of Rukia's life between the abandonment and meeting Renji, so it's hard to say how needy she was as a soul baby.

Hisana hung out with/lived with Byakuya, who we know (a) has a metric ton of spiritual power and pressure, and (b) lives in a city full of similarly situated souls. Canonically, weaker souls seem greatly affected by the spiritual pressure of the more spiritually capable souls in Bleach, which could suggest that she had enough to withstand living in Seireitei and being married to someone with a lot of the stuff.

Depending on whether you think Rukia is anywhere near the ballpark in terms of her age vis-à-vis Ichigo (150 years, by the way), Hisana's life span would have been about 100 years in SS, which isn't particularly short. It seems that souls with some spiritual power/pressure tend to live longer than souls without it.

As Byakuya continues with his confession to Rukia, he says that Hisana "searched for [Rukia] almost every day for the next five years." If you take this literally, it sounds like Hisana went out into the slums regularly, which is pretty far away from Kuchiki manor. Without some sort of fast travel option (the Kuchiki are rich so maybe one exists...), it seems that she would have needed to learn a pretty good flash-step to make that trek anyway feasible. Although, it is possible that Byakuya meant Hisana searched for Rukia in a more abstract sense since, as a noble, she would finally have resources (beyond her physically trekking out there) to conduct a search. It could also be both.

2. Assumption Two: Hisana was (or was not) doing XYZ before marriage

This assumption likely piggybacks off the one above. Since we are given no indication as to what Hisana was doing before marriage, if you assume she was a spiritually weak being, it makes sense for the years between abandonment and marriage to be full of scrounging and hiding from scary beings/thugs/monsters/take-your-pick. And, true, the reckless noble/prince taking an unwashed but kindly peasant girl as a wife is an oldie goldie in terms of romance tropes.

But, as noted above, Hisana could have been literally anything. Shinigami? Sure! Secret agent/informant? Why not!? In CFYOW, Yourichi gets pretty annoyed at Tokinada for speaking ill of Hisana. It's possible that she's irritated with him because he's trying to goad Byakuya into an altercation and is using Byakuya's dead wife as the ammo (which, yeah, is a pretty gross thing to do). Alternatively, there could be a personal connection between the two women (which may provide further color on Rukia being chosen as a vessel for the orb, don't mind me just out here speculating). We know the higher districts are rough, and, at least according to Renji, Inuzuri is full of criminals and bastards of all stripes. Hisana could've been a crime lord, a lackey to a crime lord, a thief, a prostitute, a hustling gambler, a bookie, basically anything. The vagueness is glorious!!!

3. Assumption Three: Hisana died of ghost consumption a respiratory illness

This assumption likely arises from the anime (although forgive me if I'm wrong about this since it has been a while since I've watched the anime) and Fade to Black, which has a scene where Hisana has a coughing fit. The manga, however, gives no indication:

All Byakuya says is he "lost his wife." To what? Who knows?! Be more specific, Byakuya!

We also don't get a whole lot of evidence to indicate what killed her during the confession scene.

Hisana isn't sweating, and her futon is white as is the bit of clothing we see, so it doesn't look like she's necessarily suffered a physical attack/assault. She's also, notably, not coughing....

For reference, below are Byakuya's bludgeoned panels because we have a lot of parallels between her deathbed request and Byakuya's confession to Rukia:

To be fair, Byakuya's blanket and pad aren't bloody either, but his captain's coat sure is, and, goodness, is he sweaty! Although, perhaps Byakuya's memory of Hisana strips away the gory and gruesome bits (e.g., blood, sweat, coughing, gasping, gurgling death rattles, anguished groaning, etc.) since... well... no one actually dies pretty.

Based on the manga retelling of Hisana's expiration, the cause of death was... literally anything. Okay, I kid. I kid.

Sort of.

Maybe her COD wasn't literally anything. She was at least in a bed ready for death and had enough time to call upon her husband. (Although, so is Byakuya here, and he was stabbed like thirty minutes ago and is giving similar sorts of vibes to poor Rukia.) My guess is that whatever Hisana had, she succumbed to it over a period of time, which rules out causes of death that come fast, but a lot of deaths aren't immediate (unfortunately). Maybe she sustained internal injuries that took her, which would parallel nicely with Byakuya in these panels. Maybe she had "beautiful wife consumption," which is an oldie goldie trope for doomed lovers. Maybe she had whatever soul flu or illness afflicted Byakuya's dad. Maybe she had some sort of soul cancer. If you're doing the math (or a version of the math since time in Bleach is wobbly), Byakuya and Hisana married a year or so after WWII. It's not a pleasant thought, but cancer (leukemia and solid) rates went up five+ years later for obvious reasons, and perhaps this is an abstract/unconscious nod to that of sorts.

But, who can say??? Not me, that's for damn sure!

From a practical story-telling perspective, I imagine that KT leaves a lot of wiggle room around this period to avoid caging himself in for whatever reveal he had/has in store regarding Rukia's backstory/heritage/why Urahara picked her to put the orb into/etc.

[noonaishere]

Music of the Heart [J.YH] - one hundred and seven | the biggest idiot

Yunho walked into the apartment and let the door slam behind him. Byeol ran over, mrrp-ing with excitement and Yunho leaned down to pet her. 

“Hi, buddy.”

She appeared affronted that he only gave her two pets, but before she could lodge a formal complaint (re: smacking the shit out of his ankles), he walked away. She would remember that.

Yunho dragged his body over to the couch, dropping the handle of his duffle bag and letting it fall to the floor, and then flopped onto the couch with a beleaguered sigh. He draped an arm over his face to block out the ceiling light.

San emerged from his room. “Hey, how was the trip?”

Yunho groaned.

“That doesn’t sound good.”

Yunho groaned what sounded like an agreement.

San raised an eyebrow and sat in the nearby chair. “Uh… you okay?”

Yunho sighed and took his arm off his face and folded his hands on his stomach. “I told her the truth.” 

San’s eyebrows ticked up. “The truth?”

Yunho nodded.

He waited while no explanation came. “Am… I supposed to know what that is?”

Yunho sighed and mashed his hands into his face, something in between a mental reset and a mild punishment.

“What was the truth?” 

He sighed again. “I ratted out her bass lessons to her parents when we were teenagers because I didn’t want her to leave.” 

“...I’m sorry, what?” 

“I know, I’m an idiot.” 

“You’re the biggest idiot!” 

“I know! Thank you!” 

“What the fuck, Yunho?!”

“I KNOW!”

The yelling wasn’t out of anger: on San’s side it was out of shock and disbelief, and on Yunho’s side it was out of frustration and acceptance. Perturbed by the noise, Byeol came over and hit San on his ankle. He picked her up and held her on his lap as he pet her. 

The volume decreased as quickly as it had increased, and they sat in silence as San mulled over the new information and Yunho slipped into despondency, sighing several times at his own thoughts.

“So… what are you going to do?” San asked, finally.

“I don’t know. She said she can never forgive me.”

“Well… it sounds like you ruined her life, so I’m not surprised. Even if it was only for a few years.”

“She and I were eighteen. You and I are twenty-five now, San.” 

“...So more than a few years.”

Yunho knew it was a joke to lighten the mood, but he couldn’t laugh.

Struck by whatever feline impulse, Byeol wriggled in San’s arms and he kissed her on the head and set her on the floor. She scampered away like there were demons present.

San chuckled at her and checked to see if Yunho saw it at all. He didn’t, his arm was over his face again.

“So, um… can you tell me what the fuck happened? I don’t know all the context.”

He picked his arm up and sighed.

Yunho explained how he and t/n met, how they were friends their whole childhood, and how they made a plan to leave their town to come to Seoul so she could escape her parents and he could become an actor. 

“I first knew I loved her sometime in high school but I never told her because I was her only friend and I didn’t want to make it weird if she didn’t like me back.”

San nodded.

“And that night when we were saying goodbye after her mom grilled me… I shouldn’t have mentioned the bass.”

“If her mom is as much of a tyrant as it sounds, I’m surprised the thought even came to you.”

“Yeah… I loved her and I didn’t want her to leave me, and I said the dumbest thing I could have said.”

San nodded.

“It’s like… I knew her mom was bad-- she always told me she was… but I didn’t think she’d do something like that.”

Yunho stepped in between t/n’s mom and his own. “Don’t yell at my mom!” 

His voice was louder than even he was expecting, and he felt a strange sense of terror course through him: he had just yelled at an adult, and not only was that adult his best friend’s mom, but she was terrifying. She was in his house, making demands and barking orders as if she owned the place, and while his initial inclination was to try and help t/n lie her way out of it, when she turned on his mom, he couldn’t stop himself from defending her.

Mrs. t/l/n glared at him. He’d seen her angry before, though that was normally accompanied by her dragging t/n away by the wrist, this was different. This was scary. He wished his dad were home and not at work. He was glad he was taller than her. He felt like if he was closer to her height, she might have hit him by now. He had to look down to look at her; he wondered if that made her think twice before physically lashing out.

“Sweetie.” His mom said, reaching out to his arm from behind him and squeezing it. She didn’t want the confrontation to turn physical. 

Truthfully, neither did he, so he stared back at Mrs. t/l/n.

She grabbed the bass and its accessories. “We’re going.” And left the room.

“Mom! What are you doing!” T/n yelled, following her out.

Yunho turned as she left the room and exhaled all the tension he had been holding inside. His mom went to touch his face to check on him, but he shook his head and the two of them followed them out.

They stopped on the stoop and watched the scene.

T/n’s mom grabbed her arm and dragged her to the passenger side as she protested, shoving her through the car door and slamming it behind her. She got in the driver side and slammed that door too after getting in. Then she started the car and pulled away. As they left, Yunho could see t/n turn around to look at him and his mom. 

He wished he could run after her, throw himself in front of the car to make them stop, anything. His mom must have known, because she held onto his arm. They stood like that until they couldn’t see the car anymore.

“Sweetheart…” his mom said. 

He turned to her.

“Sweetheart, you’re crying.” 

He reached up to check as she reached up to wipe his tears away. He hadn’t even noticed his vision begin to blur, he was so focused on watching t/n as she receded into he darkness and his thoughts of going after her.

“I’m sorry, mom.”

“Why are you apologizing? That was Mrs. t/l/n’s fault, not yours.”

“No, it was. It was my fault. I lied to you and dad.”

“I can’t believe you lied in front of your mom like that.”

“She forgave me when I explained the situation. Then my dad came home from work and I apologized to my parents for lying about the bass, but they said they kind of thought it was t/n’s anyway because they rarely saw me playing it.”

“They forgave you? Just like that?”

“They knew her mom well enough. And they both… I mean, if you grow up like t/n did, with parents who refuse to let you be who you want to be, you’re going to end up lying to them.”

“Yeah… I guess that’s right.”

“My mom’s parents were pretty strict too, so I think she always understood her.”

San nodded.

“And… knew she needed some semblance of a happy home life. Even if it was only part-time.”

San nodded again.

“Then the next day at school she told me her mom made her watch while she sold her bass, and she was under house arrest for the rest of the school year. And… it was all my fault.”

San didn’t say anything.

“I went to her house the day after graduation, hoping that I could talk to her and apologize and I’d buy her a new bass with my money and we’d go to Seoul together and start over… and I get to her house and her brother tells me that she’s gone missing, and when their mom went to the pawn shop she sold the bass to, t/n had been there and sold the violin and got the bass back.”

“Wow,” San said.

Yunho looked at him. 

He was genuinely impressed. “What a badass.”

Yunho couldn’t help but exhale a small laugh. “Yeah…”

“Most people would kill for that kind of determination.”

“Yeah… it surprised me at first.”

“Why’s that?”

Byeol jumped onto the back of the couch and sat, loaf-shaped, as she viewed her two human roommates. Yunho reached a finger up to her, she sniffed it and went back to passively observing them.

“The t/n I knew for so long was this sad, angry kid who wasn’t allowed to do what she wanted, was barely allowed to have fun, and just seemed like she hated everything… but really it was because her parents made her world so small and suffocating, and that was what she hated.”

“You’re saying…” San thought for a few seconds. “You didn’t know what she would be like if she wasn’t being held down?”

“I guess so.”

“And it scared you?”

He didn’t say anything.

“Yunho?”

He sighed. “Yeah. I guess it scared me. I didn’t know she could be so driven.”

“Well, if she saw the bass as a way out, of course she’d run towards it with everything she had.”

He nodded.

Yunho’s phone rang, but before he could answer it, Byeol jumped onto his stomach, knocking the air out of him. He coughed as she jumped to the floor and headed into San’s room.

San watched her leave. “Retribution is swift when it’s on four legs and filled with tuna.”

“I suppose I deserved that.”

“Probably.”

He pulled out his phone and looked at who was calling. “It’s Mingi.”

“Talk to him. Maybe he can help your current state.” San stood and left for his room.

Yunho answered the phone. “What’s up?”

  previous | main cast | masterlist | next

a/n: WHAT a mess. At least Byeol has her head on straight.

Send an ask or leave a comment if you want to be added to the tag list! 🎵 Any comments, reblogs, or asks are appreciated! I love talking with you guys and seeing what you’re saying about the chapters, it keeps me going 🥰

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[ellieluvr420]

Eye for an Eye Pt.6

MASTERLIST (and information about Palestine) Please read!

SYNOPSIS: Your body yearned for the touch of your girlfriend, the warm embrace that calmed your mind but you couldn't give in, the anger you harboured for her at disappearing with her group for three months without any warning, explanation or even a mention of when she would be back stopped you in your tracks any time you got close to giving in. You loved Abby so much but looking at her made you sick, you couldn't push the feelings down no matter how much you craved for things to go back to what they once were. You hadn't planned this but the anguish in those green eyes mirrored yours and sucked you in before you could think twice about the repercussions of your actions. You made your bed when you made the deal with the auburn-haired stranger, eventually you'd have to lie in it.

MDNI smut!!!!

I want to quickly stress that this is a darker fic and there will be a lot of darker, possibly triggering themes to do with mental health throughout so take that as a warning. I likely won't do warnings for each part because part of this fic for me is that you don't know what's going to happen until you read it so please do not read if you find graphic descriptions of mental illness and topics surrounding that triggering (this includes suicide, be warned). But if you do read, thank you so much, this story is really important to me and I appreciate any interaction whatsoever!

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧    

The only sound you could hear on your walk back to the stadium from the theatre was your heartbeat thumping in your ears, your entire body was throbbing and tingling, you had just told Ellie everything, the sense of doom slowly caging you in like dark clouds do to signal a storm is on its way. You should be grateful really, no screams and moans of infected, no humvees coming to search for the missing traitor, but you’d take anything over this mind-bending silence. There’s nothing to ground you, nothing to keep you in reality. You try and keep yourself calm but you’re on your own, there was no one keeping you in check, no one to remind that you exist and that you’re alive, just you and the Seattle roads that rain was bouncing off the surface of. 

When did it start to rain? 

You hadn’t noticed the torrential onslaught, soaking you to the bone, sending painful chills through your body, you hadn’t noticed the way it dropped off your eyelashes and ran down your cheeks, maybe that same path had been numbed from all the tears you had shed. 

I don’t remember turning down here. Why did I turn down here? Fuck. 

Alarm bells sounded in your mind as you backtracked to the main road, you just needed to make it to the stadium, you tried to breathe, shaky inhales and exhales racking your body, inflating and deflating your chest. Your thoughts swam and collided together, shrieking and crying, you just needed to get back to the stadium. 

Five things I can see 

Rain, an overturned car, a tree, my hands, the stadium. Okay not long now. 

Four things I can hear 

My heartbeat, my breathing, the rain, a runner crying. Oh that’s... comforting. 

Three things I can touch 

My jeans, my hair, the ground. I don’t remember falling over, fuck my knee hurts. Focus. 

Two things I can smell 

Blood, and the rain. I think I’ve said the rain too much. 

One thing I can taste 

Abby’s lips. Fuck, when the fuck did I get back here? I’m kissing her. 

Your eyes snapped open as you jumped away from Abby’s sleeping form, you had pecked her but you had no idea how long you’ve been here, you’re in pyjamas and there’s no blood on you so you must’ve showered but the last thing you remember is smelling the rain mixing with the moss and grass that had overtaken the city and now you were laying in Abby’s bed, kissing her sweet lips that had tormented you with their silence for all too long. You forced yourself back into the bed and pressed your hands over your lips to muffle the sobs that you could no longer control. You could barely breathe, panic taking you in its grasp and caressing your skin, setting it on fire as you tried desperately not to wake your sleeping girlfriend. 

You had no idea how long you’ve cried but when you finally work up the courage to spare a glance over your shoulder, Abby is sleeping peacefully beside you, you brush a stray hair from her face and will yourself to go to sleep, to forget for just awhile the nightmare that encompasses you in consciousness. 

The exhaustion took over and eventually you succumbed to a restless sleep, only then did Abby crack her eyes open and peer over at you with a confused look. She had stirred as you entered the room but she was still too tired to move, she felt your lips press to hers and as soon as they were there, they were gone as you ripped yourself away, gasping and sobbing until you slept. She had woken up once before and noted your absence from the room but that had to have been hours ago so hearing you come back only confused her more, she was going to ask but the way you had reacted to kissing her stopped her dead in her tracks and now she lay awake contemplating whether she should ask or if she’d just end up pushing you further away. 

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧    

Abby sat with Manny in the canteen, she had left you asleep in the room in need of some space to clear her head, she had been so in her head recently with the deaths of her friends that she was starting to wonder if she had imagined you going back to normal around her, that she had dreamt it up to provide some solace but that didn’t feel right. She needed reassurance and she felt wrong asking for it from you. 

“Manny, does she seem okay to you?” 

“Hm? Oh, well you two seem fine, you know she isn’t really talking to the group again yet but from what I’ve seen you look the gross lovebirds you were before. Why do you ask?” 

“I don’t know, it’s just been a lot and I think I said something the other day when she was comforting me about... you know.” Neither of them could bare to say their late friends' names. “I’m scared she’s gonna pull away from me again.” Manny opened his mouth to reply but a shadow looming over the table stopping him. 

“Hey Melon, you okay?” Manny greeted her with a smile that she was yet to return. There were bags under her eyes and a permanent frown etched into her features. Her eyes were glassy and bloodshot and only made Abby’s nerves spike. 

“I need you guys to follow me.” She doesn’t wait, she just starts walking, leaving Abby and Manny to share dumbfounded looks as they followed in silence. “I’m not supposed to be showing you this so you cannot tell anyone.” Her voice was foreboding as she led them down to the morgue, rows upon rows of body bags, the stench was suffocating as they all coughed into their arms. 

“Why are we down here Mel?” Abby said still covering her mouth and nose with her sleeve. 

“I’m really sorry guys.” She unzipped the bag to show them Nora’s mangled corpse, it was hard to even tell it was a person at first, but the look in Mel’s eyes left no room for denial. 

“Oh my god.” Manny breathed as he gagged. 

Abby could barely feel her feet on the ground, her vision blurred and her ears rang, she couldn’t get enough air into her lungs as the world span and she stumbled out of the room that felt like it was collapsing in on her. She just kept walking and walking until she had no idea what quiet corridor she had stumbled into and collapsed against the wall, the tears fell and fell, waves cascading from her eyes, swelling her lips and making it hard to breathe, she felt sick as she clutched onto her stomach and tried to force her brain to calm before she had a full blown panic attack. She tried to focus on anything other than Nora’s lifeless body, her patrol schedules, the routes, you, your strange behaviour last night... Where had you gone last night? Something twisted in her gut and she was moving quicker and quicker towards Rocky’s office. She needed to see the patrol assignments. 

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧  

“Hey babe!” Your voice called throughout Abby’s room as you heard the door open and close. She watched as you emerged from the bathroom with just a towel wrapped around you, slinking over to her with a dark look in your eyes. “You weren’t here when I woke up, was gonna come look for you in a second.” Abby went to speak but she was frozen as you looped your arms around her neck and pulled her into an earth-shattering kiss. All her focus went to your lips caressing hers, the feel of your tongue lapping at hers, the way your body pressed itself into every ounce of space between you until there was none left. Her arms hooked round your waist as she sighed into the kiss, completely transfixed by you. 

Her brows furrowed as one of your hands left its place around her neck and shuffled between your bodies but her eyes snapped open at the sound of your towel dropping, leaving you completely bare in front of her hungry eyes that devoured you more with every second.  

“Strip.” Your voice was sultry, dark, it only drew her in further as she complied with your command, each step she took closer to you as she tried to rid herself of her clothing, you took a step back with a giggle. She frowned and rushed more, almost tripping over as she kicked her cargos off. She lunged at you and you let her sweep you off your feet, wrapping your legs round her waist and squeezing. She caught your lips in a fiery kiss once again, a hand coming to rest on the back of your head as she walked you down the steps of her room towards her bed, she felt your fingers snake around her neck and squeeze enough to make blood rush in her head, eliciting a guttural groan from deep inside her. 

It was a mess of breathy moans into each other’s lips, the clashing of teeth and tongue, the grabbing and clawing, the marking of soft skin, it was all the pent-up emotions releasing and floating into the space around you. For Abby, this was comfort, this was a reconciliation, one that she desperately needed. For you, it was a distraction, from Ellie, from all that you had done, for you, it was a goodbye.  

She lowered you down onto her bed, immediately climbing on top of you and pressing a thigh to your cunt as you lifted yours that was sandwiched between her thighs to press against her core. A symphony of gasps and groans filled the room as you each felt the friction igniting sparks within you. Abby bit down on your bottom lip as you gripped her hair at her scalp and yanked.  

“Fuck I needed this so bad, I love you babe, I’ve missed you.” Abby’s voice was a distant echo in the furthest corner of your brain as you chased your high, each grinding in motion with each other as your body’s tangled closer and closer together. You caught her lips in a fiery kiss so you didn’t have to speak, didn’t have to tell her you loved her back, that lie might break your subconscious altogether. You moaned into her mouth letting her muffle your sounds as you both inched towards your release. 

Your bodies tensed and spasmed as all your nerves felt like they were on fire and with a couple harsh thrusts of your clit against her toned thigh, the muscles rippling under the skin, you came undone, arching your back and clawing at hers as a string of profanities fell from your lips. Abby followed almost immediately after with a whimper before her body relaxed and she collapsed all of her weight on you. 

It had been rushed and passionate but all it did was confirm the loss of your feelings for her. Her fingers squeezing at your waist felt like knives, her breath on your chest felt ice cold and her weight on your body could have been a boulder crushing and suffocating you. All of the things you had loved about sex with her, loved about after sex with her, only made you hate her more. 

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧    

The day was quiet, you and Abby lounging together as Abby reads while you listen to endless records, music had always grounded you, given you something to focus on. 

“What are you reading?” You pressed. It was getting easier to act normal around her, it was easier to pretend when you knew it would be over soon. Good memories, that’s all you wanted to think about until you both laid to rest. 

“Medea, it’s a Greek tragedy. This wife goes kinda crazy because her husband ditched her for a younger woman. It’s a lot but it’s really good.” 

“You’re such a nerd.” She gasps and clutches her chest in feigned hurt. “Hey I never said it was a bad thing.” You both laughed and though there was a sadness in her eyes though she seemed normal with you, everything was going to plan. 

The day went on like this until you both turned in for the night as you and Abby both had patrol the next morning. You fell asleep with Abby’s arm over your waist as her back was pressed to your front. 

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧    

You were in the theatre, standing on the stage, silence enveloping the large room until hands came to wrap around your waist and a sharp chin found its place on your shoulder as the figure swayed you while pressing soft kisses to your neck. 

“I missed you.” They hummed into your skin. 

“I missed you too Ellie.” She spun you to face her and the smile creeping across her features was ethereal, a smile you wished you could see more of. Her lips were soft and warm as you each lowered yourselves to the ground, her pressing her weight into you as you wrapped your legs around her waist. The kiss was slow and sweet, an exploration, until she pulled away and it was no longer Ellie gazing down at you lovingly, it was Abby glaring at you with a fire in your eyes. 

“How could you do this to me?” She growled and you were frozen, completely paralysed with fear. “I fucking loved you, you traitorous bitch, I’ll kill you for what you’ve done.” Her voice was now a scream as her hands wrapped around your throat and squeezed. She looked into your eyes and smiled as you felt her adjust her grip and within seconds you felt your neck shatter to pieces as she broke it like she would a twig, your body went numb and your surroundings faded to nothing. 

“Babe, wake up! You’re having a nightmare.” You could hear screaming, distant and quiet as hands shook you until your eyes flew open. “Hey it wasn’t real, it was a dream, you’re okay, you’re safe.” Abby’s calm voice sounded above you as you felt her arms wrap you in their grip, tears beginning to fall as what you had dreamt of dawned on you. 

I just need this feeling to end. 

“What happened babe?” Her sweet voice tickled your forehead where her lips rested. 

“I can’t even remember, fuck, thanks for waking me up.” The lie slipped out so easily, it was getting too easy to lie. You sniffled and cuddled into her desperately trying to push the dream out of your mind and make your lie the truth.  

a/n: Hi sorry for the hiatus but I am back and friends never pt23 is on its way also, I kinda hate this chapter and I'm sorry it's shorter but it's a bit of a filler chapter to move the story along so I apologise, hope you enjoyed anyway and see you in the next one!

tags: @emiliabby @liasxeatt @kawaiibreadbouquet-blog @tphmnv @a-little-bit-of-everybody @chrry1ovr @bready101 @euphternal @elliestwofingers @angelsrotation @drippyop

[sergeantsporks]

Dadrius Week 2024 Day 4: Separated/Free Space

“Darius is hiding something.”

Luz dumped Hunter’s bag on the floor of Eda’s spare room. “You don’t waste any time, do ya?”

“I know he is,” Hunter insisted, “He has to be.”

“He has to be?”

“Well, if he isn’t then—then—” Hunter gulped. “Then he’s mad at me.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I know he said him sending me away had nothing to do with me, and he wasn’t upset, but… I don’t know, I feel like maybe…”

“So, Darius is hiding something,” Luz interrupted firmly, “You think we can weasel it out of Eda?”

Hunter gave her a grateful smile. He didn’t like the alternative—and he couldn’t believe that Darius would send him away just for his health, not like this, where it wouldn’t make any difference. Surely he didn’t think Hunter was going to get mopey about it? It wasn’t like Darius had wanted to hurt him. And sure, he knew that had been Belos’ excuse, too, but this time, it was true.

Hunter shook himself, clearing away the uneasy thoughts. “Would he have even told her?”

“I mean, I don’t think Eda would just accept a call from Darius saying ‘hey, I’m leaving an extra kid with you, don’t ask why.’ Not that she’s not okay with you being here, but she’d for sure want an explanation.” Luz peered out the window, and sighed. “Which is probably why she’s booking it for town before we can ask her.”

“What?!” Hunter jumped up. “We need to—ooogh—” He sat back down, blinking hard and waiting for the wave of dizziness to pass. “Stood up too fast.”

“Yeah, I’m thinking you don’t need to be chasing anyone down, Mr. Blood Loss. You’re good.”

Hunter glared at his duffel bag. This was hardly the first time he’d dealt with losing too much blood, but it had been so long, he’d forgotten all the little things it stopped him from doing. He’d forgotten the dizzy spells, and the weakness, and most of all, he just did not remember the loss ever making him quite so tired. “What do we do? Wait for her to come back?”

“Wait for who?” Amity thumped in from the door, Ghost winding around her ankles. “I didn’t think I was that late.”

“Amity, hey!” Luz gave her a quick peck on the cheek. “We were going to interrogate Eda. Hunter thinks Darius is hiding something from him, and she has a clue.”

“You think it has something to do with why he visited my dad earlier? He was really annoyed about Darius disrupting his work. Complained about it all through lunch.”

Hunter sat up ramrod straight. “He visited Alador? He said he had an appointment with Steve! Why would he visit Alador? And why would he hide that from me?”

Luz wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. “Maybe he wanted you out of the house for a few days so he could have a romantic rendezvous with Amity’s dad.”

Hunter threw a pillow at her. “Serious theories only.” He scratched absently at the outside of his sling—his forearm itched. Had something gotten into the sling? “Doesn’t Viney work with your dad sometimes? Maybe she knows something.”

“Better let me message,” Luz volunteered, “You’re a slow enough typer with both hands.”

Hunter crinkled his nose at her, but surrendered his Penstagram scroll. “It just doesn’t make sense. What would have him running scared?”

“He said it was ‘for your health’, right?” Amity asked, “Maybe someone threatened you—that would be for your health, wouldn’t it?”

A chill ran down Hunter’s spine. He wasn’t ever helpless—and he could always teleport away from any danger if it came to that—but he was certainly more vulnerable right now than usual. If someone had threatened him… “No, that doesn’t add up, either. If someone threatened my life, wouldn’t Darius keep me closer than usual? Some things, I don’t think he’d trust to anyone, even to Eda.”

“Well—maybe the other way around, then. Someone threatened his life, and he wants to keep you safe and out of the way in case they try to carry out their threat.”

Okay, that Hunter could picture Darius doing. It was still a terrible idea—he’d be isolating himself, and negating the possibility of Hunter being able to actually help—but he could imagine it happening. In fact, he could imagine it happening so easily it made anger turn his gut. Darius wanted him to get the chance at a normal childhood, but that didn’t mean he needed to be treated like—well—someone who was actually a normal child.

“Maybe that’s where Eda went,” Luz suggested, “To help him defend himself.”

Hunter shook his head helplessly. “If he’s in danger, then he needs me!”

“I don’t want to be mean,” Amity started, “But… you’re not exactly very helpful right now. You’d just be someone else for him to worry about.”

“We need to figure out who’s threatening him,” Hunter continued, ignoring her, “Stop them at their base.”

“Uh-huh,” Luz agreed absently, “Uh… look at this and tell me it’s normal for Viney?”

She held the Penstagram scroll where Hunter could see the conversation.

Hey, Viney, you didn’t happen to see Darius today at your work-study, did you?

Viney’s reply was short, only four words: Don’t worry about it.

Claws of dread closed around Hunter’s throat. “That’s…”

“Suspicious,” Luz agreed, “Do you think someone’s threatening Viney, too? But why wouldn’t they threaten Amity’s dad?”

Hunter felt sick. “Because no one threatened Viney—Darius asked her to keep his secret. He didn’t think to ask Alador, because Alador doesn’t interact directly with me—or maybe he thought Alador would assume it applied to him as well—so Alador told Amity, and Amity told me.”

“Sounds like my dad,” Amity agreed, “So… do we think Viney’s a dead end, or do we think we can squeeze some information out of her?”

Hunter and Luz laughed at the same time. “Not Viney,” Luz told Amity, “We’d have better luck with a brick wall. Do you think your dad would catch on and clam up if you asked him more questions, or do you think he’d talk?”

Hunter stared out the window, Amity’s voice fading into a muted background. Darius was in trouble. He had to be. Hunter couldn’t accept that Darius wanted to be separated, that he wanted Hunter out of his life. Maybe a year ago, when they’d first started testing this arrangement out, he would have been insecure enough to immediately believe Darius was trying to get rid of him. Now? Sure, he’d thought about it. He’d entertained the idea that Darius might want a break from him. But he knew Darius wouldn’t leave him here forever. And now, Hunter was almost certain that Darius had to be in danger. He knew, deep down in his heart, in the space that used to believe Darius wanted him gone, that it was the truth.

“Hunter?”

Hunter’s head snapped up. “Mm?”

Luz crouched down next to him, her face pinched up in concern. “Are you feeling okay? You glazed over.”

Hunter rubbed his eyes. Maybe Darius was right to keep him out of the way. The worry and the occasional twinges of pain from his torn arm were the only things keeping him awake. “Yeah. I’m fine.”

Xxx

Darius pushed open the door to his house with a sigh. Even just knowing Hunter was gone made the whole place seem… empty. He hadn’t realized how much the kid filled the space until he kicked off his shoes and noted the empty space where Hunter’s perpetually muddy boots usually sat.

It’s not forever, he told himself, In a few days, he’ll be back. We won’t be separated for long.

His Penstagram notification pinged, and Darius picked it up. Alador. That hadn’t taken long. Darius snickered a little at the thought of Alador working at his problem tirelessly, even though he’d said it wasn’t his first priority.

Did a full analysis on that gem Steve brought. Viney’s correct: all three spells are still active. Including the mind-control spell. Find someone you trust to keep an eye on you, or come here where we can put you under observation until we figure out a way to reverse it. The spell’s definitely been weakened by the gem’s destruction, but it’s still there. Some other information we got out of it: it’s remarkably similar to the Collector’s puppetification spell, but definitely not their magic: it’s from this realm and this planet, but it’s not quite like the magic of our island, either. Finally, the draining spell activation is spread through direct contact with the gem. Anyone with a sigil who touches it will have their sigil activated in the same low-level way yours is. It’s siphoning the magic off somewhere, but we haven’t figured out the exact location just yet. If I had to guess, whoever slapped the gem on you was looking to infect as much of the isles as possible.

Darius frowned. That couldn’t be the only explanation for their motive. He wasn’t exactly a low-profile target; eyes were on him at all times. Sure, he saw a lot of people, and he could overpower most if necessary, but people would figure out something was wrong. Using an ordinary citizen, or someone who owned some kind of popular business would make more sense. And he’d been out in the middle of the woods—prime ambushing territory to be sure, but not exactly somewhere he’d have immediate access to other people. Maybe they’d wanted to get complete control over him while he was isolated in the woods?

But more importantly… had Hunter touched the gem with his bare hand? Darius tried to think back, tried to remember if Hunter had been wearing gloves or not, but all he could picture was the blood and Hunter’s pale face.

Would the draining spell even affect him? He didn’t have magic—would it just block his ability to teleport? Or would it be even worse for him, somehow? Darius growled to himself. He wished Hunter were here so that he could just ask about the gloves. Maybe he could go to Eda’s and make sure Hunter was alright—but if the mind-control spell was still active, then Hunter wasn’t safe from him.

No. No, he needed to check on Hunter. Keeping this conspiracy from hurting him was his top priority, and he couldn’t trust Hunter not to play off any symptoms he had as not a big deal. They never should have separated.

Check on Hunter, go to Alador, lock myself in a magic-proof cell until this is figured out.

Easy as fairy pie.