#and then today i was running around doing chores and stuff and once again. did Too Much.

[fatcowboys]

I keep forgetting that I'm still not at a full two weeks out from surgery and keep doing Too Much sir calm down you didn't leave your house for a week and a half you just bc you're not in constant pain doesnt mean you can start going on long adventures yet!!! take a minute damn!!!

[ciggrx]

Threads of the fate

Pairing-: Sukuna x F!reader.

Summary-: you are childhood friends with the village's chief's son while being a poor maiden. How will it go for you? Is it a happy ending?

It's evening. The sun is setting, the cold air is flowing through her hair as she looks at the beautiful orange sky with a grim expression. She looked at the crowd, her eyes looking for someone, the hc-nette smiles weakly as she sees the pink-nette running towards her, the gaurds hold him back as he screamed her name as the gaurd secure the rope around her neck as she gets on the stool with her hands behind her back. She looks at the sky once again. What a beautiful day it was.

___________________________________________

Once again the hc-nette is out in the streets of her village, she sees a group of kids around her age [13] trying to bully a guy with pink hair, he seemed a bit older and a bit taller [15]. Her eyes shining as she runs up to the pink haired guy. Pink is her favourite colour.

"Excuse me!" She goes up to them.

"You shouldn't say stuff about someone! Father says otherwise a big curse will eat you." The hc-nette scolded the kids who were trying to bully the pink-nette. The kids continued.

"He's a monster! Yeah!"

"He's going to kill us all one day!"

"Father says to stay away from him!"

"He ate his twin in the Womb!"

"He's not all that! He's just strong! He's a nice guy!" The hc-nette argued as the pink-nette puts a hand on her shoulder shooting the kids a glare as they run off.

The pink-nette glared at them as he turned to her.

"It's getting dark go home." He pointed a finger at her as he gently pushed her towards her hut, retiring to his house. He was the son of the village's chief.

She shrugged knowing it was the right thing to do since she is defenceless without a jujutsu in this world and went home. She pouted. He's like this all the time. Pushing her away.

__________

That didn't stop her from approaching the chief son every damn day.

"Hi!" She said as she sat under the cherry blossoms tree where he was studying.

"What are you doing?" She peaked into his notebook. Even though she didn't understand what was written. Reading and writing were preserved for the higher ones in the community and mostly men. She did know how to dance and do the other household chores though.

"Reading." He replied coldy. His brown eyes stuck on the book.

"What are you reading?" She asked, her father knew how to read. He used to  narrate her stories before he passed away in a battle with a especially strong curse.

"A story." He replied again with the same stoic expression on his face.

The Hc-nette sat their with staring at him, his eyes glued to the book in front of him.

...

The hc-nette got up and tugged on his sleeve.

"Let's play" she said tugging on his sleeve, again.

No reply. Rude. The hc-nette sighed as he attempted to pull his sleeve out of her grip, she ended up falling beside him again.

"Ow.." she grumble as he smirked.

Once again she sat with him staring as he sighed deeply and started to read out loud,  as she happily listened to him.

.

.

.

.

"Thanks for today." She said.

"What do you mean?" He asked with the same stoic expression on his face as he placed his book down.

"You know..you read me the story." She said with a smile as she got up, happy that he talked to her.

"I-i wasn't reading it for you. I was just.."

"Just?" She tilted her head to the side, innocently.

"Just practicing my pronounciation." He makes up and excuse as she laughs.

"Let's have a picnic here tomorrow! Let me pay you back for today!" She said excitedly.

"I'll see"

"Yay! See you tomorrow!"

"What? I said I'll see-"

The hc-nette ran off towards her hut, leaving him confused, he blinked twice before collecting his books, getting up and going back to his house.

The hc-nette pouted as she went home to her mother who will probably be mad, she didn't get any chores done today, but oh well.

___________________________________________

"Mother I'm sorry! It won't happen again.." she apologized looking at the floor as her, clenching her kimono, tears in her eyes as her heart beat in her ears. She felt nauseous.

Her mother "Hana" glared at her. The hc-nette crawled back in fear as her mother took a cheap metal rod she had heated up and walked to her.

There were screams. Blood curling screams..

___________________________________________

Time flies by. The hc-nette is already 20 and Sukuna is 23. She's grown into a beautiful woman and so has he grown into a handsome male. His jujutsu got stronger over the years. The villagers see him as a threat.

"You're late." He said as he leans against the tree they're usually under.

The hc-nette giggled sheepishly as she sat beside him.

"Yeah, my bad the food took a while to make." She replied setting the nicely packed lunchbox on the ground and starting to unwrap it as he eyes her up and down with his piercing brown eyes, his hand proped up on his knee.

"Yeah. The food. Sure, Princess." He mocked. Rolling His eyes.

"What's up with your tone, tuna?"

"I told you not to call me that" he grumbled popping a rice ball into his mouth, humming at the taste.

"And i told you not to call me 'Princess' but you do." She replied.

"Yeah, cause you are delicate and fragile like one."

"I'm not! And i call you 'tuna' because it rhymes. Sukuna..kuna..tuna!" She argued. While stuffing her face with food.

"And you look like a squirrel right now. Should i call you that?"

"Hmph" she looked away as he chuckled, deeply, before turning serious again as he glared at her.

"Be honest. Why are you late?" He asked, seriously.

"I-i told you the cooking took a longer than i expected-" she was cut off by his roughly grabbing her and pulling her kimono off her shoulder, shamelessly.

"Sukuna!" She yelled as he glared at the thin burnt lines on her back and let's her go.

"How many times, have i told you to let me take care of that wench?" He asked, pinning her to the tree.

"It's my mum I can't let her get punished-" she replied, her face red with embarrassment.

"Foolish girl." He grumble reaching to touch her wounds, sending a shiver down her spine as he heals her using his reversed cursed technique and pull away.

The hc-nette quickly turns around, fixed herself and her clothes.

She shyly sat on back under the tree as they ate.

"kuna. Don't you get mad when people call you a threat?"

He shook his head, while chewing on the food.

"Why not?"

"Cause they're not wrong." He said with a shrug.

"Ehhh.. Yes they are"

"No they're not."

"Oh so you are going to eat us all, huh?"

"Yeah definitely." He laughed.

She stared at him fully awake that he is capable of doing that.

"But you'll spare me, right?" She asked.

"Hmm no"

"No?" She said, offended.

"No I'll save you for the dessert."

"Dessert? Human meat as dessert? You're weird"

"I know." He said.

"And who will be the first one you eat?"

"Uhh.. probably that wench"

"My mother?"

"You know any other wenches?"

"Uhh me?"

He looked at her like she grew another head.

"You're not a wench"

"I mean..a low class or working class servant is a wench. I fall in both categories."

"You're not a wench, since I don't hang out with wenches."

"Ahh"

She nodded as she ate her food..her eyes suddenly light up as she pulled another box out.

"Kuna! Kuna! I made something sweet for the first time. Try it!"

Sukuna smirked as he leaned down to try it. He was confident in her cooking. He had tasted a lot of great things. Even though her cooking never was perfect he enjoyed eating what she cooked the most while sitting with her and under this specific tree, it felt like home. Not that he'd ever admit it out loud.

As he leaned down to try the Mochi. It didn't look perfect, the filling was spilling out as he popped it in his mouth.

He chewed it. She stared at him with hopeful eyes.

..

...

....

And spat it out.

"Princess, what the fuck?"

"Why? Is it that bad?" She pouted

"Tf is it salty for?"

"Salty?"

She took a bite of one and...spat it out.

"Ew." She gaged.

"I think i accidentally put salt in here instead of sugar.." she fake cried as she washed her mouth with some water from the lake.

"Are you trying to kill me?"

"What? So weak you'll die from salty mochi?"

He held a finger to her face and she bit it.

"Fuck! You're a lunatic."  He groaned.

Before she could reply a voice comes from the village.

"It's a special garde! Run!"

Hey! Hope you had a wonderful day/night. Please like if you guys liked it and tell me if there are any mistakes since English is not my first language.

If you wanna be added to the taglist of the series please tell! Love you!

Next Chapter-:

[soccerwag]

Kylian fluff where he suspects that you’re pregnant before you even do, and then you take the test and you actually are

Yes, yes and yes.

Baby on board

Summary: Kylian has been observing you recently since you’ve been acting off. He connects your reactions to how his brothers wife acted when she was pregnant which leads him to believe you’re pregnant as well.

Warnings: nothing just pure fluff🥳

…………………………………………………………………………….

Recently you haven’t been yourself. You’ve been nauseous and tired and slightly moody. You had assumed that you were sick. Unreality that wouldn’t have been a far off thought since coworkers at your job have recently called out due to similar symptoms you’ve been having. It has been frustrating you though. There is so much that needs to be done around you and kylians house that hasn’t been because you’ve been sick.

“Babyyyyy.” You whine out for Kylian. He had told you to sit down and rest and that he’d handle the house chores for today since he’s had the day off. You’ve been trying to rest but you’ve been up and down to the bathroom due to the urge to throw up.

“Oui? Is everything ok.” He asked, concern lingering in his voice.

“Oui, Pouvez-vous m'apporter la poubelle ? J'ai l'impression que je vais encore vomir mais je suis trop fatiguée pour bouger.” (Yes, can you bring me the trash, I feel like I’m going to vomit again but I am too tired to move.) I said to him.

I could see the concern in his eyes. I hated making him worry, especially on one of his only days off.

“Of course my love, do you need anything else? A pillow or a blanket?” He asked, wanting to make sure I was as comfortable as possible.

“No I’m fine, thank you though love.” I reassured him before he went off to get the trash.

Little did I know Kylian had been talking to his older brother recently about my symptoms. His brother had told him that all my symptoms correlate back to pregnancy and that his wife had the exact same symptoms.

When Kylian came back with the trash can he did something that caught me off guard.

Kylian walked over and got on his knees before laying his head on my stomach.

I laughed at him before asking him what he was doing.

“What are you doing silly.” I said, rubbing his head.

He didn’t say anything to me but I heard him whisper things, I’m assuming to my belly but a few things caught my attention.

“maman et papa t'aiment petit, maman ne le sait pas encore mais papa si. Je suis tellement excité de vous rencontrer.” (Mom and dad love you little one, mom doesn’t know it yet but dad does. I’m so excited to meet you.) Kylian whispered while rubbing my belly.

“Kylian what the heck.” I said confused.

Once again he said nothing.

“I’ll be back my love, I need to run to the store for a few things.” Kylian said before kissing my forehead and leaving.

While he was gone, his words never left my head. Why was he talking to my belly as if I had a baby in there? I mean Kylian talks a lot about wanting to be a dad but I didn’t know he had become delusional.

I finally managed to go to sleep and I took a nap until Kylian got back.

————————————————————————

I woke up to the sound of the front door being unlocked.

“Honey I’m back.” He said walking to me with a huge grin on his face.

“I want to show you what I got but first let’s go to the bathroom, I’m sure you have to pee by now.” He said before grabbing my hand and pulling me off the sofa.

He was right I did have to pee but I don’t understand why he was so eager to take me to use the restroom.

When we got to the bathroom he pulled a box out of the bag of stuff he had gotten.

Pregnancy tests…

“What are those for?” I asked. I knew of course what they were used for but I’m not pregnant. I surely can’t be right?

“Take them, I have a theory.” He said handing me the tests.

I took them and owed on them before setting them of the counter, the whole time Kylian watching me with a content expression.

“Now we wait 15 minutes.” He said. How did he know that? Has he already read the box.

After 15 minutes me and him went back into the bathroom to look. The second I saw the results tears started to form in the brim of my eyes.

“Oh my god….I’m pregnant.” I said before looking up and Kylian. His smile never left his face an he engulfed me into a hug which I gladly accepted.

“I knew it.” He said before pampering kisses around my face.

“But how? How did you know.” I asked still confused.

“I had been talking to my older brother about your symptoms and he’s the one that brought up the idea due to the fact your symptoms were much like my sister in laws.” He said with a huge smile. All I could do was smile back.

“Now here let me show you what else I bought.” He said before revealing the rest.

It was baby clothes. They were all so cute but what was cuter was his reaction to them. He held them up to my belly talking to my stomach and saying how cute the outfits were going to look on him or her.

“Now we have a baby on board.” He said before giving me the most loving kiss I’ve ever felt. All I could do was smile and kiss him back with happy tears in my eyes.

[luvely-stories]

Casual Cook

+.｡ﾟ:;｡+ﾟ+｡::ﾟ｡:.ﾟ｡+｡+.｡ﾟ:;｡+ﾟ+｡::ﾟ｡:.ﾟ｡+:;｡+ﾟ+｡:

You sigh as you look at the pantry, looking through all that it had to offer.

Today you were going to surprise your husband Nanami with a lovely meal, at least you’d try to make it one. Nanami usually did all the cooking for a reason.

It’s not like you were a bad cook per say, you were just painfully mediocre. Nanami liked cooking anyways and you would always take care of cleaning the kitchen afterwards so it felt pretty even.

But lately he’d been coming home much later, and much more tired. You felt terrible seeing him make dinner when he looked like he was on the verge of falling asleep, so today it was your turn!

You frown as you look at the window then back at the pantry. It was getting pretty cold, maybe Kento would like a soup? Yeah, you could do soup!

You smile as you go over to the stove, turning it on and putting a pot on top of it. Pulling out your phone you search up soup recipes. You sadly weren’t as wise as your husband who seemed to know the recipe of everything off the top of his head so alas, you had to go to google.

You smiled as you found a good recipe for potato soup and started grabbing what you needed. As you started to chop up the onion and garlic, your phone started ringing.

You look over to see your husbands name on the phone with a heart next to it. You pick up the phone and place it between your ears and your shoulders as you keep chopping your vegetables.

“Hi honey! What’s up?”

You ask happily, putting the cut vegetables in the pot alongside some butter.

“Hi dear, I’m so sorry I’m caught up with some stuff and…I’m gonna be home late again.”

He sighed softly, clearly disappointed in being late again. It was times like these where you wish you could just teleport through the phone and hold him close.

“I’ll take care of dinner and everything just…I’m so so sorry. After this I’ll be back to a normal schedule I swear.”

You could hear his hand running over his face, clearly stressed. You frown as you start to stir the pot.

“It’s fine Ken honest! We all have to put in a little overtime once in a while.”

You said understandingly. You start to chop the potatoes as you continue to comfort your overworked husband.

“Just do what you have to and come home. That’s all I want.”

“God you’re too kind.”

You giggle at the compliment before saying goodbye and hanging up. Lately you think he’s the one being “too kind”, trying to take care of you while he’s struggling to keep his eyes open. God that man could be stubborn sometimes, but you loved him regardless.

As your potato’s simmer, you try to clean up a bit around the house. You wanted to get as much done as possible. As you continue your chores you can’t help reminisce on how many times Kento had helped you when you were low. This is the least he deserved.

+.｡ﾟ:;｡+ﾟ+｡::ﾟ｡:.ﾟ｡+｡+.｡ﾟ:;｡+ﾟ+｡::ﾟ｡:.ﾟ｡+:;｡+ﾟ+｡:

You smiled contently as you looked at the table, all filled with food neatly placed. It what honestly a simple meal all things considered. It was just main potato soup alongside some of Kentos favorite bread that you ended up buying, lord knows you didn’t trust yourself to make it as good as the bakery did. Still, you felt proud of yourself.

With time still on your side you decided to finish cleaning up the kitchen to make sure Kento didn’t find anything he could do. As you finished doing the dishes, you heard your door unlock.

“Welcome home!”

You smile brightly as you hold your husband close. Despite his exhaustion he can’t help but smile as he puts his head in the crook of your neck, closing his eyes and just resting there for a couple moments.

“Hi dear, how’ve you been?”

He asks, looking down at you with loving exhaustion. You kiss him gently before jerking your head over at the table.

“Busy, but it was worth it.”

Nanami furrowed his brows as he looked at the table, his eyes widened as he looked at the dining table before looking at you.

“Though I’m a mediocre cook so be warned.”

You giggle as you pull your husband to the dining table, a big smiling coming onto his face.

“No, no thank you dear. This is perfect.”

He says with a sigh of relief as he sits down across from you. As you all talk, Nanami seemed to enjoy the soup. A little part of you worried he was just pretending to because he was grateful for the meal. As you stare down at your soup, you sigh.

“Moment of truth.”

You think to yourself nervously as you bring the spoon to your lips. Your eyes widen slightly as you take another spoonful and smile proudly at your soup.

Hey, you weren’t half bad!

[lucy-sky]

Loving You Easy (Shane Walsh x f!Reader)

Scandalous Sunday prompt - being caught

My last story for @bernthirst-events​‘s Bernthirst Palooza, woohooo! I did it :DD

Sometimes a little bit of music can bring miracles into your life. Even in the middle of a zombie apocalypse.

Warnings: flirting and sort of mutual pining; ALMOST smut

A/N: this is a request from my dear friend @skvatnavle​ - I’m not sure if that’s exactly what you expected, but that’s what I came up with :) Hope it’s fine and you enjoy it.

Words: 1709; AO3 link if you prefer reading there.

When you noticed this little thing during another supply run, you could hardly believe your eyes, even though there was nothing extraordinary about it. Just a little MP3-player with small earbuds. As you pick it up from the dirty floor, you were wondering how it ended up here. Maybe some of the customers dropped it as they escaped the store, panic stricken, someone kicked it and it stayed there behind the counter until you found it. Or maybe the device used to belong to the cashier, and they listened to it during the dull night shift hours when there wasn’t much work to do. This thing had a history you’d never learn, but you couldn’t have left it there. So you put it into your pocket before answering Shane’s voice calling for you.

Later at night, lying on your bed, you put on the earbuds and press the play button on the little device. The screen lightens up, but only to show you the low battery sign before going dark again. You sigh. What did you expect? This thing was covered in dust, it’s been lying there for… Months? And of course there are no new batteries among your supplies at the moment. You got up and checked the drawers in your room, also with no success. Shit. Oh, wait a second. What if Shane got some during today’s run? Asking won’t hurt, right?

Walking out into the corridor, you glance at the door of his room, relieved to to notice the light pouring from the chink at the doorstep. So you tap gently on the door, before gingerly opening it and looking inside.

“Hey, Walsh,” you ask quietly. “You awake?”

“Hey,” he yawns, putting aside the book he was reading. “What’s up, darlin’?”

There were times you used to hate him calling you “darlin’” or “princess” or “sweetheart”, but at some point you got used to these nicknames, as well as you got used to him. He can be an asshole sometimes, but he has never hurt you in any way possible, plus the smug bastard is pretty attractive, you have to admit. You know the reality you live in is not the best place for flirting. You also know the man had history with Lori, and probably with Andrea as well, but somehow it doesn’t repulse you. You all are only human after all, trying to survive in your own ways.

“I was just wondering, did you grab any batteries today?”

“I think so, yeah,” Shane gives you a curious look. “What’s that?”

“Could I uh… Borrow a couple? My flashlight is dying, so…”

“Right. Okay, sure,” he sits down, reaching for his backpack, fishes a set of batteries out of it. “There ya go.”

“Thanks, Walsh,” you smile. “I owe you for those.”

“‘S okay. You keep trippin’ on stuff in the daylight, I don’t want you to break your neck in the dark,” he chuckles.

“Oh fuck you, Walsh,” you huff.

“Good night to you too, sweetheart!”

You don’t know exactly why you lied to him about that flashlight. Somehow the MP3-player didn’t seem like an… important enough reason. Walsh would definitely make even more fun of you if he knew what you really need those batteries for.

The next day you’re in charge of washing the dishes after the dinner. The farmhouse is empty - everyone went out to do their chores. A perfect opportunity to turn on the music.

Once you switch the player on, you instantly realize how much you’ve missed it. Not some song or band in particular - just music. Any music in general.

♫ “No makeup on and shining so bright

My old sweatshirt never fit so right

Dancing around to the radio

Humming the words that you don't know” ♫

Zac Brown sings this cheesy love song in your ears, and if you close your eyes, it’s somehow so easy to imagine that none of this has happened. No walkers, no deaths, no goddamn end of the world - it was just a really long nightmare, and now you’re in your kitchen again, humming to familiar tunes from the radio. 

Smiling to yourself, you start working, swaying to the music and singing to yourself as you’re done with another bowl. Too lost in the music, you almost drop the plates you’re holding as your back bumps into someone. Swiftly turning around, you meet familiar brown eyes and a cheeky smirk.

“Shane, what the fuck? You scared the shit out of me!” you groan, pushing him in the chest.

“So that’s why you needed those batteries, huh?” he raises his eyebrows, clearly amused. “I knew it’s not the goddamn flashlight!”

“Yeah, so what?” your cheeks start to burn, but you refuse to admit your embarrassment. “I deserve a little something that makes me feel happy and alive, and I’m not gonna apologize for that!”

“Whoa, easy, darlin’,” Shane chuckles, raising his hands in a surrender gesture. “Didn’t say you should apologize for anything, did I? I actually really enjoyed seeing you dancing like that.”

“Oh, so you enjoyed it, yeah?” you smirk back at him. “Well, you know what? It’s not some kind of a show for you, Walsh. C’mon. Join me.”

With this you take one of the earbuds off and hand it to him.

“Hate to disappoint you, sweetheart, but I-I’m not really a good dancer.”

“I don’t give a shit. You already saw me being silly, now it’s your turn.”

“Alright,” he nods, stepping closer and putting the earbud on. You press play and Zac Brown’s voice continues singing his song.

♫ “You make loving you easy

You make loving you all I wanna do

Every little smile and every little touch

Reminds me how just how much it all makes

Loving you easy” ♫

“Come on, man, relax. Feel the rhythm!” you encourage playfully, grabbing his hand. “It’s easy, right?”

You both move a bit awkwardly at first, but then the magic happens. Shane’s free hand finds your waist, pulling you closer as you sway to the music together. There’s something so intimate about sharing a pair of earbuds and dancing around the kitchen like that, something way too romantic for this whole setting, this new reality. Romantic, but also the closer he gets the more your cheeks flush, and your heart beats a little faster when your eyes meet.

“See, you’re not that bad,” you say, trying to play it cool, to not give away how flustered you really are.

“Yeah, you think?” his voice is a little raspy, it somehow gives you shivers. “You know what, sweetheart?”

“What?” you breathe out as his thumb gently reaches your chin, tilting your face up.

“You still owe me for those batteries, remember?”

“I remember you said it’s fine.”

“Changed my mind, I guess,” he chuckles softly and leans in. The touch of his lips is unexpectedly tender at first, but as you open up to him, the kiss becomes deeper, way more heated and passionate. You let out a quiet moan as his tongue slips past your parted lips, shamelessly exploring your mouth. You respond with equal eagerness, your hand reaching the back of his neck as you gently nip on his lower lip. It’s been so long since the last time you had a make-out session like that, it was somewhere in previous life, and now you can’t get enough. Neither of you can. 

The earbuds already fell out of your ears, your sighs and barely heard moans the only music left. Shane keeps gently pushing you until your butt hits the cabinet next to the sink, and he urges you to sit on it. His lips are already trailing down the curve of your neck, warm breath tickling your skin, while his hand squeezes your bare thigh - you mentally thank the summer heat that made you wear a light dress today. But when his fingers find a way under the skirt of the said dress, it suddenly hits you.

“Shane�� Shane! W-wait…” you whisper frantically, pushing him away. He pulls back frowning, dark eyes examining your face.

“I uh… Don’t think it’s a good idea. Someone can walk in,” you tell him in a shaky voice, heart still racing.

“Nah, c’mon, sweetheart… No one’s around,” he leans in again, pressing a kiss against the side of your neck, then right under your ear. “I know you want that as much as I do…” 

You shiver as his fingers reach your underwear, pressing against your already shamelessly wet center.

“I can feel it.”

Your eyes flutter shut as he carefully strokes you through the fabric of your underwear, his lips back on your neck - shit, he’s gonna give you a hickey if he keeps going like that… But damn, it feels too good. So you surrender. You let those curious digits get under the crotch of your panties, dip between your folds, find a little throbbing bud there. Your toes curl in pleasure when he touches you where you need it the most, your head spinning. In the heat of a moment you blindly reach between his legs, palming him through his jeans, causing him to groan into the crook of your neck.

“Hey, y/n!”

You’re quick to push Shane away the moment you hear Beth’s voice.

“You need any help with those di-” she stumbles, surprised to see someone else with you in the room.

“No, um… Shane’s already helping me,” you reply, quickly grabbing the nearest pyramid of plates and shoving it in the man’s hands. “Thank you, Beth.”

“Oh… Okay,” she gives you a slightly awkward smile, “See you later than.”

“Uh-huh,” you nod, smiling back. 

As she leaves, you finally glance at Shane, and his baffled expression makes you snort a laugh.

“Oh, you find it funny, do ya?” He tries to sound angry, but his voice cracks with laughter as well.

“I told you it's a bad idea,” you shrug innocently. “Guess you’re helping me finish the dishes now, Walsh.”

“Yes, ma’am. But hey, you still owe me though.”

“Okay,” you grab him by the shirt and pull him into another passionate kiss.

“Come get the rest in my room tonight,” you smirk as you pull back.

“Got it, darlin’,” he grins, licking his lips.

Thank you for reading!

additional tag: @munsonownsmyass​

[moonlight-tmd]

So i've talked about how Bee has ADHD. I also mentioned him having depression in another distant post. Today i will expand on the thought-

Bee did not have a happy life before he met his friends. He was neglected and abused as a Sparkling and never had anyone to care for him which resulted in him basically growing up on the streets and having to teach himself to write, read and all that stuff. He didn't grow big because of malnutrition, which made him into a minibot- which was basically an error in the manufacturing that the gov't incorporated as another frame type.

Bee has a lot of sparklinghood trauma from what i've told. Even as a tiny bitty still in the carequarters, he had thoughts about how would it feel like if he was just gone. No one wanted him so he just kept thinking while staring into the heating forge while doing his chores. He ended up running away and growing up homeless. He tried to land jobs but failed cuz he was defected and basically had no emotions. Until one bar let him work and the owner caught onto the little bot's behavior. He was the one that got him an appointment and a place to stay at cuz Bee told him he didn't have any. So Bee got his emotions "unlocked" and finally got the chance to live somewhat normal life. But not for long because the bar was shut down for some reason and he ended up applying in the higher academy with military program. He met Bulkhead then and they became friends.

It was somewhat of a relief from the constant suffering on his mind, he actually got better. Then he met his other friends and Sari, life was good... but then, he started spiralling down again. Wasp was back and Sentinel has come to Earth seemingly to keep tormenting him. On top of that Decepticons also made his life a pain with their lines...

I know that i said Prowl is the unpaid therapist of the group and he is. But stuff like personal trauma is not the stuff he gets to hear, Bee only comes to him when he needs serious advice. I actually think Arcee would be the one to diagnose Bee with depression.

After she got saved from 'cons trying to reprogram her she sticks with team prime for a while, which gives her opportunity to interact with the others. She was a former teacher and had a degree to be a trehapist at her academy, even tho she mostly interacted with older sparklings she knew what to look for if one had something going on. And that's exactly what she saw when she was around Bee; the way he carried himself sometimes just told her something was up with him. And so she offered to talk with him in private, then she brought up something being off with him and if he wanted to talk about it. He didn't at first but got persuaded with her kind words and the fact she was a professional like Ratchet.

... Arcee could not have gotten a diagnosis so fast in her entire career.

The longer Bee spoke the more trauma and issues were uncovered. And those issues ran so deep it became a serious mental issue right there. Arcee took notes and later presented them to Ratchet who outright felt stupid for not noticing it faster. They both had Bee sit in medbay and talk with them after that. Bee felt so bad for letting his issues weight onto them but Arcee was quick to comfort him and tell him it's okay to ask for help.

So, on top of the ADHD meds he was prescribed when Ratchet discovered he had ADHD, he was also given antidepressants. Since the cybertronian time is a bit different from earth i say he had to take the pills every 3 earth days. Given that Ratchet made him set a repetitive reminder in his system it also made him take the ADHD meds that he often forgot to take.

He also was given free therapy appointment with Arcee when she left back on Cybertron. They'd have a video call once every 2 weeks or something and go over things that happened. It helps.

I imagine a scenario where someone catches him taking all the meds and they're very worried cuz Bee nor Ratchet told them about needing to take meds. And Bee is assuring them that he's fine.

"Look, I'm okay- that's what these are for! They help me feel better. There's nothing to worry about!" Bee says with the most assuring tone one have. He also tells them to not talk about it cuz he doesn't want everyone knowing he has issues like that.

[cookeybg]

Unexpected Cohabitation a JonDami fic - Chapter 11

Title: Unexpected Cohabitation

Main Characters: Jonathan Kent and Damian Wayne (some of the others show up too, the list is too long)

Eventual relationship: Jonathan Kent/Damian Wayne (my fave)

Stuff to know: No capes, reverse robins, high school AU, no smut, no Brucie Wayne, I know nothing about sports but it will show up, (aaand I think that's it, will add more if it comes up)

Word Count: 1,147

[Here's my table of contents]

Part 3 - Chapter 11

Jon mucked up the last of the manure into the wheelbarrow, his strength had increased in the last three weeks he had been joining Damian in his chores. He refused to think of it as blackmail enforced labor and thought of it as helping, he was after all staying at his house for free. He stopped to rest against the shovel, his eyes catching on the only other human in the room. Damian joined him every morning, wearing the same type of hoodie and shorts he always did, that he was always able to keep pristine due to the fact that he never lifted a finger. He lounged on the bench located near the exit, his back resting against the saddle he used on Lady, engrossed in his phone. That in itself was strange, mainly because he couldn’t hear the sounds of the Cheese Viking’s game he was obsessed with. Not once had he commented on how slow Jon was, or what he was doing wrong, or that he should smile and think of the chores as training, that it built character. Damian sometimes sounded like an old man. Instead, he smiled and snorted at whatever or more likely whoever he was distracted with. “Should I take this to the compost bin?” A stupid question, he had been taking the manure to the compost bin every morning. Instead of Damian giving him a response, Alfred the cat meowed at him from atop a barrel. Jon had found out no less than ten cats lived in or around the manor, though he only ever saw one or two at a time. He hadn’t met all of them and just knew of them because Dick liked to talk. The orange cat, Ginger, tended to stalk the halls indoors while Alfred liked to mysteriously pop up, much like his namesake. Jon let the shovel fall noisily to the ground. “Oops.” Jon said carelessly. He ignored Damian’s glare, lifted the wheelbarrow by the handles and rolled it out of the barn towards the compost area. He could hear Damian follow him silently. He tipped the contents into the bin, when done he walked back into the barn to sit on the wooden bench. He took off the rubber work boots that he had been provided, for his chores, and replaced them with the ratty sneakers he wore to go on runs with Damian. When he stepped out he saw Damian leaning against the post of the corral’s exit, still on his phone. Jon frowned at the sight. He approached casually, his hands in the front pocket of his own hoodie. “All done.” Jon shrugged. Damian hummed and nodded in response. “So, are we going on a run or…” Jon huffed, waving his hand towards the offending phone, “you too busy?” Damian looked up at him through long black lashes, his green eyes looking a bit lighter in the morning sun. “Tt, it took you long enough.” “Well, if I had help, it would be much quicker!” “Didn’t you live in a farm or something, Corncob?” “No, I help at my Maw and Paw’s farm.” “Then why are you so slow?” Damian started stretching. “What had so much of you attention, anyways?” Jon pictured white hair and a black cardigan. Damian raised an eyebrow and bent at the waist to touch his toes. “I mean you normally talk to me, but you might as well not have been here today.” Jon huffed. “Aw, lonely?” Jon sputtered a denial, his cheeks warming up. Damian smirked and ran off leaving Jon to catch up.

The rest of the day had been uneventful. The only highlight of the day was meeting Jay at Journalism club during lunch, they had type up some of the article they were writing together and promised to meet up again after baseball practice to finish up. Jon stood stretching his legs out after the brutal run Coach put the whole team through, daydreaming about asking Jay out to eat somewhere, when his absent gaze caught the color white. He stopped short narrowing his eyes at the girl sitting under the shade of an old tree next to the bleachers. She was focused on her phone, one foot crossed over the other, back against the tree. Jon wandered over to get a closer look, his water bottle conveniently in the same direction. She was wearing a white crop top, which was seemed to be against school dress code, a black bomber jacket, black ripped skinny jeans and white high tops. The girl seemed to like to match. “Jon.” Damian’s voice startled him, nearly making him drop his water bottle. “What?” Jon whipped around to face him, slightly embarrassed at being caught. “I’ve been looking for you since lunch.” Damian put a hand on his hip, a frown on his face. “Oh sorry I was doing something for journalism.” Jon said. “I wont be home for dinner,” he lowered his voice, “Could you please make sure Bat-cow and Lady are in the barn and lock it up for me?” “Where are you going?” Jon tried not to look in the direction of Damian’s possible girlfriend. “Tt. It’s not really something I need to report to you,” Damian lifted a finger to stop Jon from arguing, “but, since you will be doing this favor for me…I’m going out with Colin and -“ “Damian!” The girl at the tree walked up to them, “are you done with practice yet?” Jon felt instantly annoyed at being interrupted, but he watched the tall girl stop a bit too close to Damian. “Yes, I just need to change.” Damian told her, then turned to Jon, “So, will you?” “Hi, I’m Jon!” Jon abruptly turned to girl, smiling the bright smile everyone seemed to like and extending his hand for her to shake. “Hi, I’m Nika.” She smiled back shaking his hand. “Jon-“ Damian bristled beside him. “Did you just transfer or…?” Jon kept smiling, ignoring Damian. “No, just visiting Gotham.” Nika said. “Oh? For how long?” Jon feigned curiosity. “For a bit,” Nika smirked, “Damian’s been making it a blast.” “Jon-“ Damian tried again. “He’s showing me around town again tonight.” Nika purred grabbing Damian’s hand. Jon stared at their hands, at their intertwined fingers, for some reason his heart squeezed. He then snapped his head up, his smile much more forced. “I gotta go, it was nice meeting you!” Jon turned, quickly walking away. “Jon-“ Damian caught up with him, he was headed in the same direction after all. “Yes!” Jon continued walking, “I’ll make sure the girls are safe and sound, go have fun with your girlfriend!” Damian stopped walking beside him. All he heard from him was a disgruntled “tt.” Jon ignored it, he did not look back. All he wanted top do was shower and leave. He couldn’t wait to hangout with Jay.

Not sure about this chapter but get ready for a bit of angst in the next one. Medical drama!

[bellalampwickrossi]

Western Disney AU: At the Stables by friend Levi

Being in the Wild West only meant adventure, or that's what someone would assume. Gunslingers and all sorts, but not in this little town. The folk there were far too friendly, though that never stopped chaos from brewing.

The sun peeked in through the windows and onto Lampwick's drooling face, snoring away without worries. Suddenly, a little girl barged in with an irritated expression. He was supposed to get up earlier to help his sister with the chores while their mother was busy. Unfortunately, he had no plans of getting up any time soon.

"Hey! Lampwick!" she yelled.

He jolted awake and looked around in alarm.

"Huh..? Is there school today?" he'd yawn.

"No, you big oaf! You were meant to be getting the groceries by now!"

He'd scratch his head before snapping his fingers.

"My bad! I totally forgot!"

Rushing to get dressed, he ran around to get some bread for his breakfast and a basket to place all the shopping. Before anyone could complain, he was already out the door. On his way to town, he recognised some familiar faces that were already up and about. The townsfolk tended to their business in the distance, but he easily got sidetracked, changing course to stop by the horses at the stable nearby. He couldn’t resist the urge to bother them.

Waiting for him on his path was a pretty girl from the native tribe that they often did trades with. She glanced around as she kicked a pebble, huffing impatiently as if she was waiting for someone. He was surprised she was wandering about like this, but was pleased to see her.

"Tigerlily! Great day for mischief, right?" he called out with a snicker.

She rolled her eyes and shook her head with a giggle.

"You on your way to bother the horses again? One of these days they're gonna knock you out!" she exclaimed back.

He approached her, grinning as he usually does.

"What're you doing around here? Did ya miss me or something?"

Her cheeks turned slightly pink at the comment, rolling her eyes despite the fact he was right. But she wasn't going to admit that. He'd tease her for the rest of her life.

“In your dreams!” she’d scoff. “I’m only here to wait for Peter and then I’m going to pick up a few things for my dad. The usual checkup on our trades and stuff.”

He cocked his head to the side and crossed his arms with a playful chuckle.

“How heartbreaking. Thought you actually wanted to see me.”

“If you keep saying that, I’ll assume that you’re the one who’s seeking me out.”

He’d raise his hands to surrender, running out of retorts to throw her way.

“Fine fine. I’ll stop teasing ya.”

The pair shared a familiar warm smile with each other. They had been friends for a while, when Lampwick’s mother, Carina, would visit the friends she had made as a saloon girl in the past. The two troublemakers would often mess around and crack jokes, often bothering the adults around them with their antics.

“Anyways, where is Peter? Doesn’t he come to look at the stables around this time?” Lampwick inquired.

“He asked me to get him a wooden practice gun, and I was hoping to see him to discuss more details about it. But I’m getting bored sticking around here”, Tigerlily would sigh before the auburn haired boy nudges her.

“Let’s go have some fun! We can put our duties on hold for a little bit. Nobody will know!”

“Hmmm… I don’t know… You said that last time and my dad ended up lecturing me for an entire hour once I got back home.”

“Come on! We can get groceries for me and do your trade stuff while we roam around. I’ve been itching to do something entertaining”, he grinned, which was enough to sway her into playing along with his plan.

“Alright, you’ve got me convinced. What type of shenanigans did you have in mind?”

He’d wrap his arm around Tigerlily, making her heart skip a beat from the sudden closeness. Of course, he was too oblivious to notice how flustered she was, and she was rather good at pretending she wasn’t.

He started dragging her to the stable of one of the most ferocious horses… Tinkerbell. She was infamous for her stubbornness, driving away any potential buyers. Despite that, it was said this Arabian mare could run so fast it was like she could fly, much like a fairy. Though she had often thrown her riders off her back whenever she was irritated, making her rather dangerous. Tigerlily’s eyes widened in disbelief and looked at him with a mix of concern and intrigue.

“Isn’t this that horse that Peter wanted to get for himself?” she asked.

“It is in fact that horse. I’ve no interest in getting one as you already know. But… We can have a bit of a bet while nobody is looking.”

“What sort of bet?”

He’d check the area and his surroundings, to ensure they won’t be caught. He knew he’d get grounded if his mother found out about this. In the corner was a block of hay to feed the horses, and he hastily took two handfuls of it before placing some in Tigerlily’s hand.

“I bet Tinkerbell will accept my hay!” he exclaimed.

She smirked at his cockiness and held her head high.

“I see how it is. Well, I bet she’ll accept mine first!”

“Oh really? Then how about this. Loser has to eat hay like a horse.”

“You’re on!”

The two fist bumped to solidify this deal before turning back to the uninterested mare. Lampwick fearlessly stepped forward with a confident beaming smile and shoved the clump of dried grass towards her snout. Tinkerbell snorted and sniffed him, but she didn’t dare take a bite. It’s as if she knew he was up to no good. She simply turned her back on him, swishing her tail around almost sassily.

“Doesn’t look like your smile charmed her at all”, Tigerlily teased.

That simple statement was enough to fuel his competitive behaviour. He stuck his hand into her stable, trying desperately to get her attention.

“Hello!? C’mon, Tinkerbell! Don’t be like this! I don’t wanna eat this straw!” he begged.

All the ruckus aggravated her, causing her to neigh loudly which alarmed them. She spun around and snapped at Lampwick, causing him to yelp and fall onto his behind. He groaned in pain as his companion howled with laughter.

“Haha very funny”, he scowled.

Feeling gratified, what worry Tigerlily had washed away. She calmly and carefully presented the hay to an upset Tinkerbell, awaiting what she’d do. At first, the mare was sceptical, glaring at the petite native girl. But she sensed her sincerity, and she was rather peckish. She slowly extended her neck and took a nibble of the hay, then she turned her back to them again. Lampwick’s mouth went agape, unable to process the fact he just lost.

“What!? How!?”

Tigerlily cackled and clapped in amusement. She dumped the hay onto his lap and crossed her arms.

“Eat up. You must be hungry.”

He grimaced, reluctantly picking up a strand and let it hover in front of his lips. He closed his eyes shut and took a deep breath, shoving it in his mouth and swallowing as fast as he could. The taste was ghastly, like the driest leaves in the world with a strong aftertaste of soil. It made him gag, and the regret had him wishing he just left for the groceries.

The End

[lemonflowercat]

it's complicated: ch.01

i got stuck in freeze mode today, and i think it's because yesterday was a "fail day". i don't think i know very well how to regulate emotions that are associated with failure. anyway, although i did none of the things on my 75 soft list, i did get other things done - meal prep, laundry, some chores. i also watched a decent movie. ate 2 decent meals and then, a fight with A + luteal phase exhaustion made me cave into fast food. the highlight of my day was, while waiting at the ENT for A, this lady who was there to get her daughter checked, turned to me and handed me her business card. she kindly informed me that she was a health and fitness coach who has a big group of women she conducts "online fitness classes" for on Zoom, and said i should definitely join because, i quote, "you will look beautiful if you lose weight." it was kinda sad but mostly funny. i couldn't even be angry because i feel like we're from different generations and different worlds altogether, i just felt sorry for her and all the women in her class for believing that their beauty/worth was tied to a number on a scale. --- which is still something i find myself believing in on my lowest days. <sigh>

on a tangent,

i've started this new thing of noting what triggers the i'm-not-in-control-around-food feelings and it's interesting. so far i've noted

sleep deprivation

restless but not doing anything (doomscrolling doesn't count as doing something), typically on PMS and freeze mode days

strong sadness or frustration

anger directed at myself

feeling like a failure

when relaxation kicks in after something exhausting

not eating enough filling stuff through the day

waking up from an afternoon nap after a small lunch

eating out

having foods that i like but typically come under "bad" around the house

for sure these are pretty run of the mill reasons, and you'd think i'd have been aware of them already - but i wasn't! actually noting down these triggers has made me realise that a good chunk of them are practical problems - which makes me feel like less of a crazy person. for instance,

sleep deprivation

not eating enough filling stuff through the day

waking up from an afternoon nap after a small lunch

some of them are emotional, and i think this comes from the unhealthy ways i learnt to regulate my emotions through childhood.

restless but not doing anything (doomscrolling doesn't count as doing something), typically on PMS and freeze mode days

strong sadness or frustration

anger directed at myself

feeling like a failure

when relaxation kicks in after something exhausting

and then there are some things that are a reflection of the way my parents have been about food

eating out

having foods that i like but typically come under "bad" around the house

noting down all of this makes it easier for me to find solutions - especially the practical reasons that drive my binge sessions. i can also empathize with myself now! - i can finally turn off that mean voice in my head that berates me and my "fat girl" food choices. kinda also makes me feel less like a victim, and more of just a person to whom life's happening, y'know?

next steps from here will be 1. continue noting triggers 2. work out solutions for the ones identified

step 2 is easy for the practical ones.

sleep deprivation: a. of course, try not to miss out on sleep too often in a week. like once a week should be good. b. if i haven't slept too late (like say before 2 am), wake up at 8 am latest because then my cycle doesn't get too fucked up, my brain isn't as groggy, and my day still feels almost normal. b. often i'm too exhausted to cook so maybe have easy filling meal ideas at hand? c. it's cool to just eat whatever i want anyway

not eating enough filling stuff through the day a. again something that only happens if i'm too exhausted to cook, so having easy filling meal ideas at hand is the way to go. b. literally, just order in something nice and filling and wholesome if i can't cook - i deserve it

waking up from an afternoon nap after a small lunch eat a fruit or a toast with something, can swap out afternoon tea for a no-milk one to maintain calorie count.

problem solving for the other categories are just...well, things i'm still learning about myself and reading about. there's lots of figuring out wise-lemonflowercat is still working her way through. two things that i might have something for though:

restless but not doing anything (doomscrolling doesn't count as doing something), typically on PMS and freeze-mode days now this one -is a hard one. and i have big days of this coming up since i've hit PMS season. here's a rule i'm making for myself this PMS season, and i'm hoping to stick with this whenever i go into freeze modes: no media consumption when PMSing/freeze mode-ing. i don't want to call this a "rule", it's more of advice wise-lemonflowercat has for everyday-lemonflowercat: media consumption/hanging out on the internet is a slippery slope for me when vulnerable (PMS, freeze mode), because i get too easily sucked into doomscrolling or binge watching - both of which leave me feeling drained, my brain feels disgusting and body feels like a potato. so i actively want to make sure to either read or self-express (write, make art) instead. one movie/day - preferrable in the night - is a-ok.

feeling like a failure - have multiple restart points through the day. the "failure-feeling" or "i'm-a-loser-feeling" is one that often greets me on 1. the morning after a typical "fail day" 2. as the day progresses and things don't go as planned 3. when i get stuck in freeze mode i'm in the process of getting better at self-talking myself through the morning ones, and by far it's the easiest because it's still the start of a new day. but the other 2 have been where i crash and burn, often zombie-ing through the day, waiting for it to be night time just so it can be morning - the only time my brain considers appropriate for a fresh start. i want to give myself more "fresh start" points through the day. it's going to look something like x -> fresh start, where x is an activity that really clears my mind. ideal times are, 1. around 11 am 2. around 4-4.30 pm and 'x' can be, 1. MOVEMENT like i am still always surprised at how it can really flip my mood around! cardio works best - walks, runs, or even just a 20min session of HIIT. sometimes these require more motivation than i have at hand, and i find yoga, pilates easier to do. but every . time. i finish a sesh and i feel like a brand new person again. 2. meditate+breathwork is a bit of a hit and miss. it has worked more times than not though, especially when coupled with 3. a good long shower. with scented candles, peppy music, maybe a pre-shower face/hair mask, moisturising after - basically, just really showering love on my body. 4. a science-y podcast: this works for me because i'm such a nerd, ig. i love weird facts, discussions really get my brain going and just listening to all the amazing things people are doing out there is a real motivator for me to get on and do my shit too! 5. journalling 6. watching "productivity guru" videos ahahaha, no but like really. i have a few go to people, and i just turn on the video in the background and it's like someone is giving me the talk i needed to hear. also a hit miss - honestly, a miss more often, because it's easy to get sucked into doomscrolling from here. i think this whole strategy works great to combat that all-or-nothing mindset of needing a day to be perfect top to bottom. it's really sad the amount of grief i give myself over a couple of wasted hours, and i really do hope i'm able to teach myself to turn a day around at any point.

i wonder if there are people to whom all of this seems blatantly obvious. i guess i'm just not a person these things come naturally to, and i have to actually teach myself to be this way. i think this is what self-love and self-parenting are about, really.

[blahandwhatever]

Most of my time since Christmas has been split between work and sleep and chilling, glad to have the big hurdle behind me, enjoying my own cozy-at-home version of the holidays. Played my new game. Finished decorating my tree a little too late, but good enough to enjoy for at least a few weeks. Didn't have as much of a mess to deal with at home as I had the past two years, maybe because there wasn't as much of a focus on shopping - for gifts, outfits, and home stuff - to derail my regular chores (which, to be fair, I've also gotten a bit better at).

Did some fussing over money and expenses, tired of being strained there. Got my first paycheck from my new job, but it was very small. The next one will also be smaller than I hoped due to things slowing down over the holidays. With other jobs also slowing down this month - and studies too - there was barely any improvement.

I got some cash for Christmas, finally learned I could actually get that into my online bank account by doing a PayPal cash deposit at a store like Walgreens and then transferring that to my bank, did that, and used the money toward rent and groceries.

Got a belated gift card from a job and used it to stock up on a few cosmetics I'd run out of, leaving me with more of the 'oh, this decidedly does do something for my skin' experiences that it's easy to forget after doing the same routine for years. I've seen a fair amount of the 'skincare is a scam' sort of sentiment lately, and I'm sorry, but no (at least not all of it).

Tomorrow I have a phone call (with an agency?) about a higher-paying job (hopefully that actual job and not just their jobs in general?), but I'm not getting my hopes up.

I've applied for jobs very, very little lately.

Once again, I failed to go to Chicago in December. I really wanted to but really didn't feel like it anytime in the past week and also really needed the $10-$15 I would've had to use for parking (not to mention gas). Oh well - I'll probably go in January, and it should still be good.

The Nielsen Neuro labs in Chicago have shut down, so that era is over.

This weekend I relaxed and cleared various things away - clothes piles, mail piles, post-it note piles, dead leaves/flowers on the balcony I should've swept in the fall - to start the new year on the right foot.

My mother called, asked if I had plans for today, said she had the day off. I'd never been interested in visiting again a week after the holidays, but at least she didn't suggest a sleepover this time, and, given how she can't spend the day with my father now, I agreed to go for dinner. It wasn't a particularly friendly invitation, and she spent most of the phone call complaining about my brother, who had had a surgical procedure and hadn't planned or communicated things as she thought he should have. I listened mostly patiently but felt tired of this.

Today I woke up very tired, though I thought I'd slept enough. Might have been recuperating from my period. Managed to get going and get there at a reasonable time. The forecast had predicted a sunny day, but it was just another gray one. Much as I sometimes bemoaned my inability to get out before dark in previous years, winter with neither sun nor snow isn't usually much of a sight to behold in the daylight.

We had dinner, which was okay for a while. My father was home and came down to exchange Happy-New-Years. I had sent him a text earlier, and he'd texted back. Had hoped not to see him. He asked if I'd heard from my brother, who was staying with friends. I said we'd exchanged Happy New Years. He said, somewhat petulantly, that my brother hadn't texted him. I clarified that I'd texted him first. He walked back upstairs bitching about my brother being a spoiled brat who didn't know he was supposed to text his parents. It was an attitude I'd dealt with myself too many times, spending most of my life tiptoeing around this man's ego, temper, and toxic family rule minefield. But in some ways, at least as a parent, he'd become better in recent years, so this was somewhat unexpected. I sat there still and silent for a while, too full to keep eating, thinking about how much I hated my father.

Soon enough, the conversation with my mother dried up, and she said, somewhat petulantly, that if I didn't have anything to talk to her about, she was going to go watch her TV show. Went upstairs and left me alone in the kitchen with my coffee and pie.

I felt a little guilty but also tired of being made to feel guilty all my life for not having enough to say. By someone who, for her part, cannot learn to ever enjoy a loved one's company in silence, and rarely takes me up on offers to do things besides just sitting and talking.

She returned after a while, and I questioned her attitude, and she once again acted like the victim. Said nobody cares about her or thinks about her feelings, among other things. Said she didn't like feeling like my spending time with her was forced. Said maybe we needed space from each other like I'd sometimes asked for myself. I just felt so tired and done.

I bothered responding only a little, and then I got going. I cried a little in the car. Back home, I texted my father about his earlier commentary on my brother. Reminded him, again, to stop taking out his childhood neglect and trauma on the wrong people. I hope he doesn't respond. Aside from Christmas, we haven't really talked since things between him and my mother were more dramatic.

Didn't manage to get anything else done that I was supposed to today - too tired and out of it. I'll do my real end-of-year reflections another day.

Whenever I see a 'What do you want to leave behind in [insert year]' type of thing, the #1 answer is always my family's bullshit. I know that will never completely end, and I'll never actually want to cut them off completely. But I am forever seeking an ever more lasting state of psychological immunity, of being above it all, along with occasional nips in the buds of some of the toxicity. History is the evolution of the consciousness of freedom (from your parents, in many cases).

[browzerhistory]

tips for beginning artists from someone who's been drawing since he could first pick up a crayon:

1. anything worth doing is worth doing poorly

scared the drawing you want to make will turn out ugly? nervous you won't do the angle/character/lighting/etc justice? do it anyway. do it scared. do it weird, do it anatomically incorrect, do it uncolored, but whatever you do, draw that thing. it's better to get the idea out on paper/canvas/etc than to leave it in your brain to eventually fade away. if you still really love the concept, you can come back to it later with better skills, and if you end up disliking it, well, now that you've drawn it you don't have to ever again!

2. get a little silly with it

experiment with your art. go to a color palette generator and make something with the first thing you get. make ocs with complicated designs and weird backstories. change things about your style just to see how they look. the more things you try out, the more things you'll find out you like (or dislike), and your art will start to really feel like yours. i'm not sure if the Youth of Today get as hung up over not having an art style as i used to, but if you do, there's only one way to get it: fuck around and find out.

3. always cheat

listen. there are many people who will tell you that tracing a reference or color picking from a photo or whatever is cheating. those people are lying to you. obviously there are limits (like don't trace/recolor art and post it without credit), but the vast majority of the time, tracing and taking inspiration from other people's art is how you get better.

(one way to stop yourself from plateauing is to trace a reference, then try drawing it by hand. you can also try breaking down a pose into basic shapes/lines; if this seems confusing, just pretend you're making hitboxes for it video game style.)

4. take a goddamn break

if drawing is starting to feel more like a chore than a hobby, or if you feel like you've run out of good ideas, stop for a couple days. pursue another hobby, eat good food, observe local flora and fauna. even if you love drawing with all your heart and think you'll never get enough of it, your brain needs a refresher every now and then to come up with new cool stuff to draw. trying to push past burnout will most likely just ruin the fun of it for you.

5. make a mary sue oc immediately

there's way too much hate on mary sue characters, especially when so many stories introduce protagonists by going "what if there was a guy. and he was the Specialest Guy Ever." having a character who's sexy and smart and powerful is not only fun, but good for the soul, and nobody gets hurt when you make one. plus, it's hard to overstate how good it is to have a character you love to draw in lots of different outfits, poses, and situations.

6. your art is good because you made it

now this one will probably be controversial, since a lot of artist memes are about feeling self conscious about or straight-up hating your own art. but you've gotta find pride in what you make. you've gotta look at your drawings and say, "this fucks actually and i did an amazing job." for me, even if i don't like how a drawing turned out, i try to find at least one thing i really like about it, like the shading or colors or emotion. making self-deprecating jokes stops being ironic the more you do it, and the same applies to jokingly tearing your own art apart.

7. keep your old art

a very good poster once said that throwing away/deleting your old art is like walking up a staircase and smashing every stair behind you. even if you're very high up, you won't see it because it looks like you're just on the first step.

personally, i have sketchbooks going back to early 2018, when i first started regularly using them, and i keep some of my first ever digital pieces in an archive on my tablet, but i get that that sort of record keeping isn't possible for a lot of people. the gist of this advice is just to have some reminder of where you've been, so you can look forward to where you're going.

8. make furry characters

beyond the obvious (you're probably a furry and it's nice to be able to draw your fursona), doing furry art is also a great way to find community in art. whether you do commissions, comics, or just draw yourself for fun, furry art is a wonderful method of self-expression that has the added bonus of being basically limitless. my main fursona is a bug, my secondary one is a gastropod. follow your dreams.

there may be more i add to this list later, but these are the main ones i can come up with. obligatory disclaimer that i'm just one guy with one experience; this advice might not work for everyone; etc etc. i've just tried to base this off of what i wish i knew when i started getting into art seriously.

[hangonimevolving]

The Super

Im so happy and relieve that both we, and Ajima and Thatha, are settled into our new-to-us homes. Of course, being settled in hasn’t meant that all house-related work is over. Maintaining a home can sometimes feel like a job in itself - not only all the cleaning and chores, but also the handyman visits, trips to home improvement stores to buy stuff, and replacing/repairing things as needed. This weekend, I’ve felt like the Super of our two houses, fixing issues and overseeing work.

A month ago, I accompanied Ajima and Thatha to Home Depot to shop for new kitchen appliances. The old microwave in their house worked fine, except that the handle had fallen off, and Ajima had cleverly rigged it back up again…with a rope of medical tape from their first aid cabinet.

Yep…. Not the classiest look. She was also interested in replacing their gargantuan side-by-side refrigerator and freezer with a more modern and functional French-door style fridge and undercounted freezer drawer - better for the layout of their kitchen, and her mobility issues. I figured at that point, we also just get them a new range/oven and dishwasher, so everything would match and we could take advantage of “buy 3 get one free” sales.

We ordered everything at the end of April, but the delivery and install date happened to be today, and Ajima and Thatha had a planned trip to DC to visit my sister Rithers and her kids H2O and NiNi…so I told them never to fear, their Super would personally attend to the appliance situation at their home. And so I did. It took a few hours of me sitting around, with a little bit of floor sweeping, fridge shelf cleaning, and replacement of refrigerated items once the time came - but in the end, I think their newly refreshed kitchen is looking rather spiffy and more functional now!

Back at my own home front - an unwelcome issue awaited me as I pulled into the driveway right after helping Ajima and Thatha’s home improvement. I got out of the car to discover this unwelcome sight, with an accompanying (PIERCING) sound:

This is the control box to our sewage liftgate pump. What is a sewage liftgate pump? Yeah, a short 2-ish years ago, I had no idea either. I had to do a lot of reading and educating myself when we bought this house. Basically, it’s a system where the house has its sewage line that ordinarily connects to a city sewer line, but here, the home’s sewer line goes down to a holding tank at a deeper level than where the city sewer line runs….then, the liftgate pump lifts the wastewater up within that holding tank to an elevation where it can appropriately connect to the city sewer line. Its like, if a regular house with a city sewer line and a house with a septic tank had a baby, it would be a sewer liftgate system. It’s like an elevator for poop-water. Gross. And weird. But true. Here, a picture (don’t worry, it’s just a drawing schematic, not an actual picture).

Note: this is not my original artwork; I’ve shamelessly stolen it from the website of some sewer liftgate servicer in an entirely different part of the country than where I live. I’ve left their business name and info on the image as a way of citing them…and thanking them for doing a job that I would never want to do in a zillion years.

Anyway. So - I call the utility company, and they say most likely, our pump is failing, and they put me on the list as first appointment for replacement in the morning. In the meantime, they caution, please be mindful of your water usage, take short showers, and maybe don’t do laundry today. And call if our toilets simply stop flushing at any point.

Ummm. That’s absolutely not reassuring, I tell them - but they insist that there is usually a lot of reserve in the tank so showering/toilet usage and ordinary water usage for washing hands, etc should be okay. I am nervous, but I also do appreciate that they’re giving me first appointment. So I thank them and hang up.

And then…..I decide that as payment for my Super services rendered….we are gonna go right back to Ajima and Thatha’s house tonight for our showers.

[chinahatbeach]

Thoughts for Today

Brr….. a beautiful morning but it’s very cold outside. Bug killin’ weather is what I call it. The snow is very pretty on the rooftops and on the yard. I will need to unthaw the chicken water and calm the girls down. They won’t be able to run around the yard today with all this snow. That makes them cranky. I need to snow shovel the chicken run for them. Chores.

Once again, people got caught off guard with the snow storm in Portland and many spent a night in their cars. Stuck on a freeway isn’t fun. I saw one reporter last night who needed to pee, was hungry, and wanted off the freeway. Geez……..these city folks aren’t very durable. I would have pee’d by my car if I had to go. I don’t care what people think. Mama needs to go, she goes.

And as for food and water, I carry a variety of items. I have canned tuna (with a pull top lid), a spork, tonic water, cheese & meat, and many other items to sustain me. Oh, toilet paper too.

Funny thing is that I only travel between St. Helens and Scappoose for work. Monday, I travel to Sauvie Island but if the roads are bad, I stay home. I haven’t heard much traffic happening outside. I’ll stay home until later today. I have no where to go with this stuff outside.

I remember going to school in this type of weather. I walked a fourth of a mile to the bus stop. They rarely closed school. We were prepared. Now, people aren’t prepared. “Oh, I need milk and bread!” Hello… do you shop daily? Are you not ready for any type of weather or how about an earthquake?

I remember back in 2008 when we had the good snowstorm. Patrick was home from college and it did get boring not being able to go here or there…… so, backpacks were used and we walked to the grocery store. We bought milk, potatoes, and items that we were low on only because milk does run out after a few days. Most of the grocery shopping was a way to get outside and get some exercise. Oh, for fun, we removed all the snow on our driveway one day. And we removed it with square edge type shovels. Yes, I did buy a snow shovel….. got it for $1 at an estate sale in the summer of 2017.

Well, the snow will melt and people will go about their normal ways. Meanwhile, I’ll see local folks act like it’s horrible to be stuck home for a day or two. I’m excited to be stuck home. The candles are lit, the coffee is hot, I have conveniences that make me happy, and I have time to enjoy the easy part of life….

Take time to be happy with what you have. Be of Good Cheer……..

And that’s the way it is………..

[twistedmusings]

How the dorm leaders react when they catch you kissing someone from their dorm [Part 2]

A/N: AND HERE IT IS! Oh my god I still can't believe I managed to get this done! I actually stayed on task! Honestly these three were probably my favourite from the original post, I've had far too much fun writing these bois.

And what can I say? Playfully flirty MC is a good MC u wu

Warnings: Heavy smooching, possessive talk, and the reader just really pushing the dorm leader's buttons~

Part 1 here!

“How dare you...?”

Vil was more than happy to be coming back to Pomefiore with all the stuff that had happened today. Classes were more annoying than usual, he had to chase Leona down to tell him to get his work done and there had been some problems in the modeling studio that caused the lights to be brighter than usual and now he had a headache that only a nap could fix.

Thing was, if he wanted to keep his schedule as tight as possible he would need to stay awake for...another 6 hours.

One good thing was waiting for him though. Rook had greeted him at the entrance and let him know that the Ramshackle prefect was in the dorm today as per his request.

Good.

This would keep him awake. He remembers promising you a lesson in proper skincare in order to remedy whatever you did once you woke up in the morning. Deep in the back of his head he remembers you telling him that you just splash cold water on your face but he preferred to think that you at least put some sort of moisturizer. Maybe.

He rushes to his room to freshen up and makes sure that he has the materials he needs. Vil had decided that his own brand of face cleansing products would be a good start for your skin. The tingles in his fingertips went ignored as he thought of you thinking about him in the morning. It wasn’t that sort of thing at all, he reminded himself. Dorm leaders were supposed to help each other out, despite how often they were at each other’s throats, and he was just fulfilling his role not just as a dorm leader but as a...friend.

Vil takes one last look at the mirror and makes his way down the row of rooms in Pomefiore to reach the Lounge, only to stop when he sees you being pulled into one of the many rooms by what was clearly a Pomefiore’s students hand.

Wait what?

It’s almost alarming how quickly he approaches the door and puts his foot in it, choosing to stay quiet as he sees that the two people in the room didn’t even bother to wonder why the door hadn’t closed all the way. The student was pressing kisses against your lips in small intervals, choosing instead to talk as you run your hands up the expensive purple robe and taking in the little designs.

“I had a new lip scrub I wanted you to try out.”

“Really? Then why aren’t we in the bathroom?"

“That’s rather forward for a dorm leader. Is everyone in Ramshackle this daring?”

Vil couldn’t even pinpoint the student’s name. That was your first offense. The only thing he remembers about him is the man’s caramel brown hair and how it contrasted beautifully against his dark skin. After that, nothing could pop into his head that would make that student even remotely interesting for you to be hanging off of him like that! Of all the people to be with, it just had to be a nameless potato, didn’t it?

The hairs at the back of his head stand up as the potato hands you what he believes to be the best lip scrub in the business, which only makes the alarms in Vil’s head go off even louder. That brand wasn’t even known for doing lip scrubs! In fact, they once put out a three in one shampoo/conditioner and the fact that the student even had that brand in the dorms and you just blatantly accepting it was your second offense.

And as much as he wanted to focus on that being the thing that truly bothered him, he felt the alarms deafening him as he saw the potato’s hands wrap around your waist as he kissed you again, your lips parting to let him inside.

He shouldn’t be looking at this, he should be leaving and just leave you to your own devices. The lesson wasn’t important, you weren’t that important to him--

Amethyst eyes widen when you tilt your head as the student starts kissing down your neck, already choosing one spot to make his own as he licks and nips at the skin while you dig your fingers into his robe.

Vil didn’t really know how to describe the sudden surge of energy that caused him to fling the door open and grab the student by the back of his robe and pull him backwards, eyes glaring at you the entire time as you whisper his name, as if suddenly remembering that you had a previous engagement before this whole ‘sticking your tongue down a Pomefiore student’s throat’’ business.

“Prefect. My room. Now.”

You put your hands up and walk out of the room without looking at him, Vil letting go of the student’s robes and walking out after you. He didn’t even need to tell him that he was in trouble, the student would realize it soon enough once Rook delivered the chores that needed to be done by tonight.

A list only that student would be getting instead of the entire dorm.

Vil closes the door of his room and turns the lock rather harshly, looking back at you sitting at the edge of his bed still staring at the window. You weren’t trying to defend yourself, you weren’t even looking at him.

“I hate to be kept waiting, Prefect. Not just that, it is extremely rude to keep someone waiting just so you can fraternize with someone in my dorm.”

No answer. He grabs his desk chair and sits down so he can face you directly.

“What made you go and pick that potato?”

“Why would that be any of your business Vil-senpai?”

It was very much his business, if you asked him. He would have been okay if it was Epel or even Rook that you had picked to make out with but he wasn’t just going to stand around and watch as one of the student’s whose name he didn’t even know threw all of his work out of the window! So he asked the question again, this time getting a chuckle as an answer which only served to upset him even more.

“Out of anyone in my dorm you could have picked, you had to go with someone who offers you such a low quality brand of lip scrub?”

“That is your problem with this? What he offered me? Me and him just started hanging out, we know nothing about each other! I just wanted to change that.”

His headache was coming back again.

Vil put hard work into everything he did. That was his work ethic and people be damned if they thought it was too much. Maybe they couldn’t handle it but they still respected it, respected his craft and the work he put into it.

So why do you, of all of his recent projects, disrespect him so blatantly?

It was clear you weren’t ready yet, Vil wasn’t done working with you yet. After doing something like this, and right inside his dorm, he knew that you had just taken all of the careful brushes and strokes he had decorated your canvas with…

And burnt it right in front of his eyes.

Which is why he didn’t necessarily feel any guilt when he grabbed your cheeks and pulled his own lipstick out of his back pocket, ignoring your protests.

“Quiet.”

He applies the shade quickly and before you have any chance to protest, pushes his lips against yours.

The kiss is anything but sweet. It’s almost punishing. Vil was reminding you that you were a work in progress. He still had so much left to teach you, so much left to work with you and if you kept rushing things you were going to make him mad. Once he was done with you, you could go about your pitiful little life and kiss whoever you wanted and he wouldn’t even bat an eyelash.

A hand grasps at his wrists as you press his palms on your cheeks, your tongue gently pressing against his lips so you could slip inside--

Nevermind. This sort of impatient kissing would also have to go.

He pulls away and pushes you onto the mattress, your eyes hazy with eagerness and confusion as Vil removes his jacket and gloves and leans down to trap you below him.

“Were you this greedy with him? Did he also get this treatment from you? No, don’t answer. I fear I’ll only get angrier if you do. Now be an obedient little potato and stay still, the first thing I’ll fix is that messy kissing of yours.”

“ :( “

Snacks runs had to be the most annoying and heart pounding of his usual daily life quests. If waking up was a struggle enough, especially when no special loot such as new anime or manga was available, it was hard to complete such basic tasks without some sort of incentive.

Although Idia guessed that not dying of starvation was enough of an incentive.

He walks down the corridor of his own dorm, humming a quiet tune to himself as he looks down at all the snacks he had acquired. Which, score! They even had a limited edition chip flavor that came with the card of one of his favourite idols! It took everything in his power to not just spend all of his money on more than one bag but he had such a good day today that he knew his gacha pull luck just had to be good.

The door to a room behind him opens, Idia quickly picking up his pace and hiding behind a corner as he looks at who it could be. He isn't against anyone in his dorm but...he didn't have the means to engage in any conversation that wasn't about his current FPS game or Gakemo so--

"Thank you for the help! I thought my phone was beyond repair!"

His hands tighten around the chips pressed tight to his chest, eyes wide in surprise as he sees you stepping out of the room.

Of all people...why were you here so late?

The student laughs as he scratches the back of his head, handing you back your phone and looking away.

“No--No problem! I...I honestly didn’t think you would come to me for help. I integrated the newest magical technology on it as well as voice activated features and a--a brand new messaging app that sends messages faster!”

Idia clicked his tongue as he heard the student speak. Look at him showing off. You didn’t know that he was taking advantage of your naive mind! You didn’t know anything about magic so, of course, all those features would sound fancy!

When it was literally taking your phone and just downloading some fancy new apps on it!

Yet there you were, marveling down at it as if you had just gotten the latest version.

Well maybe he shouldn’t complain too much, even from here he could see your smile. A part of him worried that all this luck he was suddenly getting would affect the luck he would get on his chip bag but...you were worth it.

Such a rare event shouldn’t be left unnoticed.

Maybe...maybe if he stayed here you could walk by and he could open up the ‘bumping into each other late at night’ event?

“So how can I repay you? Do you need anything done?”

Idia tunes back into the conversation as he frowns, looking back at the two of you as the student looks at every single corner of the ceiling instead of looking at you.

Payment? The guy had just downloaded a couple of apps that wasn’t good enough reason to offer some sort of payment. He frowns and taps his foot impatiently as the guy stutters out a few excuses before finally giving you an answer.

“A ki--A kiss? Would that be alright?”

The Ignihyde dorm leader almost falls down as he hears that, retreating further into his corner as he glared daggers at the guy who had just dared to ask for such a bold request.

A k--kis--kiss? A kiss...from you?

This guy was starting to piss him off! He should just be content staring at you! You were a SSR character all on your own! That guy should be happy he even got to talk to you at all and shouldn’t ask for more than he was given! He already rolled for such a life changing event why would he even want more!

His eyes soften when he sees you mull it over. It was okay, you could reject him. Such a guy wouldn’t even be worthy of a kiss from you so you so all you had to do was say no! Go on, [Y/N], just reject hi--

Idia can feel his heart breaking as his muscles stop working, dropping all of his stuff on the floor with a thud as the sound echoes. Yet it went ignored, the other two people in the hallway too busy with their own activities.

When...when had you even kissed him? Idia only remembers you putting your phone away and the moment he blinked you had already pressed your lips against that other guy--!

He should be leaving, why isn’t he moving?

The student’s hand goes to your waist as you deepen it, his face turning a deep shade of red as you pull away and tap his lips.

“Was that your first kiss?”

“...y--yes..”

You were smiling and giving him such a rare, almost ultimately rare item and Idia didn’t know how long he could stare until he combusted.

So all he could do was turn around…

And run as fast as he could.

He ignored the familiar voice calling out his name, footsteps quickly following him as he started to run out of breath.

Making a poor otaku like him run, even now you were still being so cruel to him!

Idia’s door slides open as he bursts inside, ready to bury himself in his bed and never come out again--!

Only to stop when he hears you hiss in pain.

Blue eyes turn around to see your foot jammed into his doorway, not allowing the electric door to slide closed. A part of him wants to immediately go to you and ask if you were alright but he stops himself as the image of your kiss flashes through his mind again.

“[Y/N]-shi! W--What--!”

You rub at your foot and sigh, walking in with a confused look as Idia presses his back against his bookshelf. He knew it. If a SSR character could be brought to real life, this is the sort of power they would have over him.

The kind of aura you were emitting was enough for him to want to get on his knees, but he chose to remain strong.

“I was calling out to you…didn’t you hear me?”

Idia turns his head and looks at the floor, the pain still raw and emotionally taxing than what he was used to. Disappointment was one thing but heartbreak was a complete other monster!

“Shouldn’t--Shouldn’t you be with your boyfriend?”

He spits the word out, annoyed that a guy from his dorm could unlock...no...could get someone like you. You were open to every single activity Idia gave you, you gave him good feedback and didn’t get scared when you two disagreed on something. Every manga he gave you, you read and every anime he told you to watch, you would watch it.

You were receptive, you were attentive, you were what Idia wanted in a real life friend!

He hadn’t dared hope for more!

That still didn’t mean he couldn’t fantasize when he was all by himself.

“Boyfriend…?”

You tilt your head in confusion before chuckling as you realized what had happened.

“Oh so you saw that.”

Is that all you were going to say?! You had just taken his heart and crushed it into tiny little pieces and you were just going to talk about what a pervert he was being!

Someone just KO him now, like right now!

“Yes...I saw. So what? You were just ki-kissi--doing that thing from everyone to see! So you should just go back to him instead of bullying me in my own room!”

Please just leave, he wanted to cry in peace.

Yet you stubbornly remain, just like the first time he met you.

“Idia I don’t know what crazy assumptions you are making but that guy isn’t my boyfriend.”

You put up one finger.

“He fixed my phone…”

Another one follows after.

“And he asked for a kiss for payment. Simple as that. You shouldn’t act like you caught us doing something major. It was just a kis---”

Large hands land on your shoulders as Idia now stands in front of you, head hung low as he mutters something to himself.

“Just a kiss….just a kiss.”

You jump as he gets close to your face, eyes staring at you pleadingly as he cupped your face.

“JUST A KISS? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU ARE? AN EXTRA RARE CHARACTER SUCH AS YOURSELF SHOULDN’T BE GIVING OUT SUCH RARE ITEMS LIKE THAT!”

He shakes you back and forth.

“IF YOUR KISS WAS JUST NORMAL THEN EVEN I...I COULD--”

Idia’s eyes fall on your lips, the rush of adrenaline mixed in with his built up desire for you all culminating in two choices popping up in his head. And for the first time, he knew that hesitation was not an option.

So he dives in.

His lips met yours roughly, not really moving them or anything but just pressing them against you. You put your hands gently on his chest but he takes it as a protest, which only causes him to push them onto yours even more.

This was...disastrous.

He had never kissed anyone before. How in the world did he think that he would be able to kiss you? Ah, maybe this was a dream? Right! He had just dreamed all of this up and you didn’t really force your way into his room to confront him!

His hair flares up when you cup his face, pushing him away slightly and tilting him in such a way that your lips would meet in a much softer fashion. He looks down and sees you closing your eyes, following in your footsteps and melting inside your kiss.

You both pull away slowly, Idia opening his eyes and blushing when he sees you licking your lips and sending him a teasing grin.

A rare sight...made only for him.

“I feel like I just spent all my stamina on this one event...so I don’t want to go unrewarded. Can we go further? I want to go further. What option do I have to pick for you to do that again, [Y/N]?”

“Don’t touch them.”

“YOUNG MASTER! WHERE ARE YOU!”

Malleus sighs as he looks on at the Diasmonia students gathered around the outskirts of the school, smiling as he sees Sebek directing them each and every way. Sebek really didn’t give up, did he? One of his classes had been canceled and he was eager to see the gargoyles around Ramshackle in a much better light but he figured Sebek would cause up a stir when he didn’t find him in his classroom.

As much as he appreciated him, Sebek didn’t have to walk him to every single class.

He sighs and goes deeper into the woods behind Ramshackle, the small broken path there leading him down a familiar terrain.

This is where he usually walked with you, after all.

Seeing this place in bright light was so very different. Instead of it being illuminated by his lights, the sun peeked out from over the trees and provided a sunny trail instead of the usual moonlight. He took a deep breath as he breathed in the smell of flowers all around, all of them growing wildly around him and defying any human to try and tame them.

His fingers trace some of the thorns he found on some of them, the flowers attracted to his touch and moving closer to his hands as a small vine wrapped around his finger.

All with his magic’s help after all.

This was his safe space. Malleus would come here during his first and second year and lose himself in the wilderness. In here no one would fear him. Here every single thing was responsive to his touches and even dared to touch back. Some of the wild rose bushes also reminded him of him, Malleus adding a bit more thorns around the flowers as in to emulate the very home he missed.

In this lonely place, he flourished.

But it wasn’t so lonely now, was it?

His third year had brought one big surprise. A human. A child of man who did not know who he was or what he was capable of. They looked at him as if he was just any other stranger roaming around their dorm and not the next ruler of the Valley of Thorns.

And Malleus, being the very curious person he is, found himself pulled to your inattentiveness.

He had dropped many hints that he was eager to get to know you more, relishing in the fact that you two were starting to get closer. And while he had hoped to keep his identity a secret a bit longer, he found it almost unbearable for you to not know who he was.

If you were so open with who you were, then he should show you the same kind of respect.

How wonderful that you were now on a first name basis with each other.

Malleus could walk over to Ramshackle dorm now and knock on your door without hesitation, smiling as he sees your excitement at just what places you two would discover in the dead of night.

Bummer you couldn’t be with him now.

He had seen you come out of your dorm and ask Sebek if he needed any help, to which the fae replied rather rudely that no human could ever track down his young master, so he was a bit reluctant to discover any more places without you by his side.

These walks were something you two did together, after all.

So he remained at this spot, touching everything and anything that would strike his fancy while going deeper and deeper into a small clearing you two had found. A large tree decorated its middle, the leaves falling gently upon the ground as the sun shone down on the large pond that provided this part of the forest with the water it needed to balance out the sun’s gentle rays.

“Shhhh, don’t make too much noise.”

Malleus stops as he hears your voice, his head immediately turning towards the sound as he hears rustling behind him. He smiles and turns to where he thought you were coming from only to be struck by a sudden idea--and immediately hiding among the trees and bushes so you couldn’t see him.

Would you be surprised to find him here?

He hoped so. Malleus had the habit of appearing to you suddenly so this wouldn’t be breaking any traditions between you two. If he played his cards right, you might join him on a walk all the way to the edge of the island.

“Prefect do you know where you are going?”

“I do! I’ve been here so many times. Now come on!”

Another person’s voice. No...he had heard that voice before.

Malleus retreats back into his hiding spot as he sees you rush by, holding by the hand a Diasmonia student as he rushes to follow you. You smile and turn around, still holding his hand while the other looked on in amazement at where you had led him.

“Prefect...this is…”

“Like it? Me and Malleus found it a while ago. This is how we know we are close to the edge of the forest.”

The Diasmonia dorm leader smiles as he watches you show the student around, pointing out different sights and sounds as the other watched on in amazement. That student probably had never gone anywhere this secret and while Malleus was glad you were showing off the place you two shared…

There was a feeling deep inside his chest that flared up angrily as he caught the student looking at you more than his surroundings.

Green eyes watch as the student’s hand clenches and unclenches, seemingly working up the courage to do something as you continue speaking. Which was rather rude, in Malleus’s opinion. You were explaining some wonderful things about the flora here and he was just staring at you without engaging in the conversation.

And how did you two know each other? Malleus had never mentioned you in Diasmonia except to Silver and Lilia, had he known you before him?

Malleus hands grip the tree bark tighter as the student takes your hand, stopping your explanation as he gets you to focus your attention on him.

What--?

“I’ve been eager to find some time alone with you.”

The student clears his throat before pulling you by the hand gently, your surprised look turning into one of playfulness as you follow along with his movements. He leads you to the edge of the pond, spinning you around as you allow him to position you in such a way that you are now closer to him than before.

Which only makes the angry feeling in Malleus’s gut flare up even more.

“Have you now? What for?”

An answer Malleus wanted to know as well.

Blushing, the student smiles and leads you into a dance with no music which only served to make you laugh and make Malleus’s fingers dig deep into the wood of the poor tree.

In the dragon fae’s eyes, you two are dancing for hours without caring about who was around. Why had he even brought you here? This student was part of Sebek’s surveillance crew and yet here he was not doing his job. But he wasn’t the one who brought you here…

You were.

Your actions were lost on Malleus as the dance finishes up, the student dipping you low before bringing you up.

“So you brought me here to dance? Who knew Diasmonia students were so charming.”

Malleus didn’t like the way you were smiling, nor how your hands rested on the student’s shoulders. He hadn’t seen this side of you before, you were playing along with this student and his motives.

Had you always been so playful? Malleus had only seen you during the night and whenever you two spoke it was a conversation worthy of two friends sharing experiences together.

But not this...never this…

“Well, not just a dance. I’ve wanted to state my intentions outright.”

The tree starts to crack slowly as Malleus can feel more thorns growing out of the rose bushes around him.

“Ever since you arrived, you have been an enigma to me. You are always so helpful even to those who do not seek your aid. Even now, you didn’t have to help me search for our Young Master."

He wasn’t searching for anyone, he was too close to you for Malleus’s liking and he needed to learn how to respect your boundaries.

“Yet you still offered me your help...and I…I want to...”

The student was leaning closer as his hands slid down to your waist, Malleus staring as you started to tilt your head as you placed your hands on his chest while his lips were dead set on meeting yours--!

Your face is tilted up as cold lips meet yours, your mouth opening in a surprised gasp as the hold the student had on you was no longer shy and timid but angry and possessive. These lips were pulling you in closer and closer, greedily eating each and every sound you were making as the air was slowly stolen from your lungs.

A string of saliva is left hanging as you two separate, your eyes fluttering open as you think of something to say to such a ravishing kiss.

Only for them to open wide in surprise as you see who you had really kissed.

“Malleus!?”

You turn to look behind the fae’s back, the Diasmonia student looking at his Young Master in mild panic and surprise while Malleus presses you close against his chest, clearly hiding you from view.

Right before the student even had a chance to taste your lips, Malleus had rushed out of his hiding place and pulled him away by the collar of his shirt.

For a dragon to watch on as something that was his was so close to be taken away, the surprise must have gotten to him.

“Go tell Sebek to head back to Diasmonia and call off his search. I will be there by nightfall.”

The student tries to stutter out a response but Malleus glares back as he keeps you pressed firmly against him.

“Now.”

You watch the student leave in a hurry, following the broken path you had led him in with. Your eyes peek up to look at Malleus but the dorm leader waits until the sound of footsteps is long gone before tilting your face up again and leaning down to press his lips against yours in another rough and dominating kiss.

Hands push you forward as your back collides with the huge tree in the clearing, Malleus making sure that the back of your head meets the bark gently as his lips never parted from yours. You wrap your arms around him as best as you could and let out an involuntary squeak when the fae decides to pick you up so that you could pull him in even closer.

He is the one to pull away first, hands firmly on your bottom as you wrap your legs around his waist to support yourself.

“Malleus--”

The fae presses another kiss to your lips, effectively silencing you so that all your attention would be on him.

“Don’t ever bring someone else into this place, child of man. Do I make myself clear? This place is our haven and I will not have someone else come steal both it and you away from me. Well, even if you don’t understand, I’ll make sure to explain it to you thoroughly. Now...kiss me again.”

[venelona]

‘Songfell’ appreciation post

Hello hello! I do a lot of art for this fanfic called ‘Songfell’, which is one of my favourite fanfics I’ve ever read. Today it’s author’s birthday!! Happy birthday @ikustioa!! Like I did with ‘The World, Upside Down’, today I just wanna list all of the things (well, all the things I can put in the worlds beyond plain AAAAAA. And a lot of AAAAAAA in general, because I want to properly fangirl over every moment) I love about this fanfic chapter-by-chapter all the way to chapter 21, which is by now the last one.

You haven’t read it? Then give it a try! It’s amazing! This most is 80% me quoting amazing and witty writing, it’s a sin not to give it a shot. You can also watch dramatic reading videos narrated by amazing people and full of wonderful illustrations here (you can try watching the trailer first!), and check out @songfell-ut​. And I want to say big thanks to @dale-the-human​ , without you we’d never had these amazing videos and I’d never befriend you, Ikky, Sharky and more wonderful people involved in this fun project.

❗❕SPOILERS FOR THE WHOLE FANFIC UP TO CHAPTER 21!❕❗

❗❕INCLUDES A LOT OF INNUENDOS AND MATURE THEMES MENTIONED❕❗

and now, without further adue:

All the things I love about ‘Songfell’ (this post around 16k words long!!)

(quotes from the fanfic are put into ‘this’)

Chapter 1

- Its based on a comic and gives me hope that one day someone writes an amazing story based on some piece of my work (some people wrote stuff, and i adore it all, reread it too much and yearn for more)

- Since its based on a comic, let's once again appreciate @lostmypotatoes​ for creating it. I was so hyped when it first dropped, and i still love it to this day even without attachment of songfell

- despite only being 21 chapter for now, it’s HUGE. Like a big big pizza, made from 200k words. That’s amazing, and you, Ikky, should be super duper proud of yourself.

- lights coming from witchlights. What is it? I do not know. But this is world of magic, and its cool.

- Frisk is badass

- The fact how BIG Sans is in this story. It’s hella fun! A bit problematic when it comes to art, but very fun and different!

- Sans contemplating all the various ways he would like to kill humans today

And then just like that it goes to

- 'Sans was not quite so confident now. In fact, his first impulse was to run away screaming.'

- 'Once upon a time, he'd tormented his brother with stories about a bad little skeleton who went out alone after dark, or talked to strangers, or didn't do his big brother's chores for him...'

- '...and just touching them [barriers] would kill you.' or give your hand a funny face, you never know

- 'He might still be afraid, but every fiber of his being wanted that woman dead on the floor. ' just remove word 'dead' and that sentence would describe next 20 chapters pretty good

- Sans thinking she is boned only to take peek at her soul and realize that he is the one who is boned

- 'A merry little chorus of Shiiiiit shit shit shit rang in his head...'

- The way Sans tricks Frisk into the Barrier and distracts her. He's one cunning cookie

- Sans still loving Kris despite all the shit humans had done in his life

- Frisk patting gaster blaster

- 'His first reaction was horrified indignation; he might be about to vaporize her, but for crap's sake, he wasn't being inappropriate.'

- I love that Frisk uses songs/hums as way to express her magic

- First thing Frisk says after being almost killed by a giant monster is telling guards not to kill that giant monster

- For some reason being High Priestess comes with the biggest human made bed in existence and i love it

- Sans being so suspicious of human he didn't eat anything despite starving for god knows how long

- ' "Can I have another fork? Don't want your germs" '

- the science of germs reached... wherever the time period they are in

- 'She was almost panting now, gripping the fork like a trident. Sans was staring at her like she'd grown another head.'

- 'On impulse, the priestess knelt, looking up at him and hoping the effect wasn't spoiled by the dirty fork.'

- The fact that Frisk is ballsy enough to ask not just some monster, but a giant killing machine boss monster to be her apprentice

- Frisk may look and act calm and collected but she still has to overpower her fear and by extension her instinct to protect herself 

- 'She was going to forge a lasting bond between their worlds and hand him a kitchen utensil like a normal person or die trying.'

- Sans being picky about forks only to down his food without one instead

- The fact that Frisk can take off her veil without disturbing her hairdress. I imagine it like people pulling cloth off the table without disturbing stuff on it. Description confirms it 👌

- 'And as High Priestess, if she wanted to use her sacred veil to dry a mostly-clean fork in order to please a giant monster who was intimidating her and somehow also being a complete snot, then who was going to stop her?' Yes, I will quote all those juxtaposition moments, because it completely aligness with my sense of humour and one of the reason I love Ikky's writing. Prepare to see sooo many quotes because I can’t help it I adore them all

- The moment Frisk pulls off her veil and turns to Sans, capturing his heartu. Epic. I’m not surprised a few people drew it, but let me pride myself in drawing it first, and it being first songfell fanart. I may sound pathetic but I don't care! I was first! Bite me!

- Everything about Sans' reaction

- Frisk sticking food into Sans' mouth after she flustered him

- Sans showing his tongue and Frisk's reaction

- Sans just wanting to know Frisk's actual name

- Sans asking where's the bathroom

- Them exchanging puns. Always warms my heart

- '...but then she had to give him food and say things that made sense, and things that made even more sense...'

- Sans never understanding human men's fascination with ladies but being absolutely stunned by Frisk. Y E S. I'm living it

- 'Why did she have to like puns, too?' One of my most favorite lines in the whole fanfic. I think back to it sometimes.

- 'This was bad. It had gotten very complicated, very fast.' SANS IS A MESS ALREADY I LOVE IT SO MUCH

- Sans thinking earlier how monsters come in all shapes in sizes and then getting distracted by her 'nice rack'

- 'He didn't want to, it was a bad idea, and he said, "No," in his mind.

She smiled, tilting her head.

"Yeah," Sans said out loud.' This. I adore this moment. Best end of a chapter there can be. I always feel so light inside when I read it, and it makes me extremely happy

Chapter 2

- Sans putting glow from his eyes out to be sneaky

- Frisk expertly tricking child into taking medicine and Sans acknowledging it

- Sans offering to kill someone for her and its only chapter 2

- ' "The first day, after being flagrantly mind-controlled into agreeing to stay..." '

- Out of all monsters to pick as apprentice Frisk not only picked a giant killing machine boss monster, but a skeleton who can't smell and has minimal sense of touch

- Sans being disappointed that she wears the veil most of the time

- 'She was obviously pleased that he cared enough to take notes, though not in a smug or irritating way; it just made her happy, and that made him...not unhappy.'

- I, too think that Sans taking notes is cute

- '...the nature of his blue magic, even if was getting more red than blue these days.'

- Image of giant Sans reading tiny books

- 'Sans put the book down and tapped his own face, and she got the hint, rubbing her cheek with the back of her hand.'

- ' "'Natural' father?" he queried. "What, do some humans have unnatural kids?" '

- ' Sans' eyes narrowed. "What is it with humans an' explodin' stuff by accident?" ' AH THE IRONY

- Imagining next High Priestess getting the room and seeing the bed and wondering what the heck happened to the bedpost

- 'It'd been easy to tell himself that he could always bust out of here if he needed to, or that the lady would let him send a message or even go have a quick visit before coming back here, but...' the way Sans just trying to reassure himself :<

- 'He didn't slam the doors shut behind her, but it was pretty close.'

- His whole outburst in general. He's sitting there, anxious about Kris, then his brother, and Frisk touches the nerve of how he came to be a boss monster. Damn.

- The box! What's in the box??

- ' "...you're putting a tiny bit of yourself into it. You have to make sure that it's a good bit."

"Pretty sure all my bits are bad by now," Sans remarked.'

- HE WANTS TO COME BACK AFTER HE WARNS HIS BROTHER

- 'Wait. Come back? What the hell was he thinking? Why would he choose to be locked up by any human? No matter how pretty, and gutsy, and sweet and melodic and...

Crap.' y e s

- He already thinking about bringing her with him. Like a pet. s a n s

- Gaster named himself Serif. Discreet, G, discreet

- ' "I am very pleased to see you again, Sans the skeleton." ' a g a i n 

- I'm not big Gaster fan, but I do like Gaster as a character in Songfell. He gives a lot of answers but still leaves so many questions... and you still quite not sure which side he is on and his motives, which is intriguing. And after rereading this whole thing, I love Gaster.

- I love every time we see the babble of Frisk's teachings to Sans.

- The tidbit about Frisk paying extra to make sure her food aint tampered with

- Sans asking about the shirt and Frisk's matter-of-fact answer

- "He acknowledged her smartassery with a respectful nod."

- ' "Hm." He scratched the side of his head. "What am I payin' you for my food?"

Frisk laughed, shaking out the other leg. "The pleasure of your company."  ' this just makes me smile :)

- Sans eating his food without her probing it because of money reasons

- Sans waiting for Frisk to bite on food before making a pun

- '  "Dunno why I keep wantin' to go t'bed, all I've done is read 'n catnap," ' me, every day

- Sans awkwardly apologizing for trying to kill her and saying he won't do it again- my heart <3

- bookmark dispute. Absolutely adorable

- '...she argued, trying to take it back. He held it over his head, roughly a mile out of reach.'

- Sans wanting to be honest with how much money he is earning

- ' He'd had a lot of second thoughts last night about bashing his way out of here, due in small part to the new outfit and the possibility of bringing food to the Underground, but mostly because she was working her brain-magic on him again, being attractive and kind and easy to talk to like the terrible, sadistic person she was...not.'

- Papyrus

- Undyne being there for Papyrus, and their friendship in this whole fanfic. So good.

- 'He wasn't worried about giving himself away: as an accomplished bullshitter, he knew he was behaving perfectly normally. '

- 'and after the usual stab of curiosity as to what she looked like outside of clothes' one word - usual

- ' "... I'm trusting you to behave." Was he imagining a weird little inflection there? No, she looked totally wonderful.' FORESHADOWING

- 'No, she looked totally wonderful. ...Normal. She looked totally normal.'

- Sans being sad he'd never see her again

Chapter 3

- Sans maybe wants to escape but also no need to destroy more than necessary and cause more trouble. Even if what's necessary is a giant hole

- Sans pitying Frisk that her apprentice escaping. Yeah Sans, too bad

- 'Maybe he'd get a music box or something in her honor.' I can't-

- Sans reflecting on how Frisk treated him like a friend and it being a reason to leave immediately

- 'Shit fuck shit shit shiiiiiiit fuckity fuck SHIT rang in his head as the satchel hit the floor.'

- Them whispering each other's names

- the scene of her punching him. SO powerful. Her wordlessly motioning down and him - a giant skeleton monster - kneeling and her just punching him with her dainty hand with all her strength and in even voice telling him how they gonna pretend his escape attempt didn't happen - just. Muah.

- Frisk being in such RAGE when she explains to him how she got back, and the BETRAYAL that still seeps into her words because she feels she wasn't good enough for him to stay and something is wrong with her. Just. AH

- ' "... I caught my lying, backstabbing apprentice trying to break his word because he was apparently too bored with me to waste time learning crucial information for the survival of his entire race! The end!" ' D: ITS NOT YOU FRISKY ITS NOT YOU-

- ' "Do you have any idea how angry I am that he was right, and I was right to listen?" ' SHE JUST WANTED TO BELIEVE IN HIM

- Frisk throwing brooch on the ground like a boss

- Sans quickly getting Frisk to the bathroom. And calling her m'lady

- Sans worrying if its gonna be too cold/drafty for Frisk now

- Frisk being too done with this shit that she accepts that Sans gonna leave, and her being offended when he doesn't

- Sans trying to steady her and her avoiding it

- Sans being insulted she gave up on stopping him just like that

- 'The boss monster wracked his brain for a witty yet conciliatory opener, but what came out was "You're not boring." ' One of my most favorite moments.

- let me be proud that i got to draw it for the video and that it is a preview for said video

- Sans being scared of exposing his feelings but feeling like he owns that to her aaaa-

- 'Sans dimly recalled that humans didn't feel as much pain when they were scared or excited, and that it could catch up to them pretty fast. It also occurred to him that it was a bad idea for a small human to hit a thick-headed skeleton with her bare hand.'

- Frisk angrily shutting him up when he inquires about her healing skills

- Sans asking Frisk to let him see her hand and her giving him a vial at first. I just like this moment

- '...it helped to think about how badly he wanted it to work, not only to help her, but to prove that he was capable of fixing things as well as destroying them.' hhhhhh saaaaaans :<

- 'Frisk smiled at him for a moment, and he couldn't not smile back.' d o r k

- Frisk being excited to meet Papyrus, and feeling like he is an 'old friend'

- ' "One thing at a time, Sans. First, we're going to bed."

"We're what now?" '

- 'he couldn't even muster a semi-joke about her joining him in bed.'

- ' "I'm not going to eat you, no matter how short-sighted and dishonorable you've been."

"You're not gonna let that go, are ya?" he mumbled.

"You have no idea. We haven't even talked about repairing the wall yet." '

- If you think I am including too much quotes in this post sue me. I love how witty the writing is, I can't help it, it's just my cup of tea

- 'The skeleton brushed himself off, reasoning that the Underground could be a weird place, but it wasn't quite random-snow-bed weird. '

- ' "WHAT IS THIS, SANS? HAVE YOU BECOME TOO LAZY TO STAY SOLID?" he accused him from the ground.

"It's a dream, bro. This happens every damn time," ' AWWW PAPPYYYY precious skeleboi

- Sans calling Papyrus a racist

- just, all Papyrus' dialogue. Every word that leaves his magnificent and attractive mouth

- They made puppets that had sleepovers, that's freaking adorable

- 'Papyrus nodded, evidently impressed by her sincerity. "I AM IMPRESSED BY YOUR SINCERITY, HUMAN." '

- Frisk offering Sans to leave and him saying what the heck lady

- Sans immediately maneuvering Frisk out of danger

- Assassin mocking Frisk's name, and the fact how despicable he comes out to be in just short time we see him, even aside being yanno, a professional killer

- The 'what's that? oh nothin' segment. I love you, Sans

- Sans' theatrics in general. Love it.

- Sans' tone deafness before he realizes that maaaybe he should comfort just attacked woman

- Frisk, despite being a very powerful badass lady, being affected by the fact that she was almost murdered. She ain't invincible and she has emotions

- 'She bit her lip, a habit Sans had noticed and been distracted by several times already.'

- Sans fixing the wall with the power of boners

- No, really - him melting when she thanks him and leans into his hand and him getting this rush of magic he isn't quite sure how to deal with for a second- ahhhhh

- '  "Welp, I need a break from life." '

- 'He wasn't ready to admit to himself how badly the whole attack had scared him, much less to her.' HHHHHHHH

- Frisk's own theatrics about assassin falling outta the window and Sans being charmed by it

- 'The skeleton shrugged, holding his hands out. "Okay, that's enough. I think I love ya. Where do I sign up to kill people for you?" '

- he told her he loves her. in a joke-y way but we all know.

- 'The priestess laughed. "I bet you say that to every girl you try to escape from." '

- Sans pointing out Frisk's 'dirt' being an odd swear

- ' "Follow me."

And, of course, he did.' Ikky why are you so good at ending chapters, even before they all turned into cliffhangers

Chapter 4

- 'Nodnodnod'

- 'Frisk folded her hands and walked as briskly away as her tight gown would allow, clearing her throat to stop Sans from waving bye-bye in the guard's face.'

- ' "I dare you to try it in these shoes, too." Frisk picked up her skirt enough to reveal her high-heeled slippers.

"Hell, no. I'm not payin' for those in my size." '

- Sans staring a tad bit too long at her legs

- Frisk reflecting on Sans' actions. The seeds of affection have been planted

- The way Frisk denies the thoughts of him liking her

- The letter basket foreshadowing

- 'She made the mistake of glancing at Sans, who opened his own mouth and did an impression of the shocked humans that nearly broke her.'

- '..she learned quickly not to look at him during the readings, because he kept making faces and forcing her to bite the insides of her cheeks.' d o r k s. I love them so much

- The deliberate lie about how long Sans was staying

- Sans pulling out his vocabulary to stick it up to humans

- Sans expecting her to sing. Hhh <3

- ' Sans stepped up beside her, trying not to walk too fast. "Atta girl," he said amiably. "That shit is boring."

The priestess bit her cheek again. "That's no way to speak of a holy ritual," she scolded him.

"Well, I'd rather get a hol-y in my head than hafta do that every day."'

- Frisk pitying that 'she is wasting her acting only on one person'

- 'Sans was loudly silent'

- ' "Fancy," remarked Sans.

"Very kind of you, sir." ' THE FACT THAT THE DUDE ANSWERED- love it

- kings in these types of stories usually written the same way, so seeing a king that is somewhat friendly and not intimidated at all by the giant monster was quite a surprise for me

- ' The exalted lady has instructed me in the rudiments of phytological science, with the ultimate goal of sustainable agricultural improvements. I like the part where it bubbles." ' s a n s. I love sans.

- Sans, unprompted, asking the king and the cardinal to reduse Frisk's church time while she teaches him

- Frisk making a pun so Sans relaxes whilst in the barrier

- 'The Cardinal looked at Sans, who didn't know why he was being looked at.'

- 'Frisk and Sans were most of the way back to her room before the skeleton said, "What the crap."

"You were wonderful, Sans. Thank you so much." The priestess smiled at him, earning another scowl and mumble.' PFFFFT that contrast- amazing

- ' "...I pay too much attention to where Church funds are going, and he likes for his minions to be able to steal freely. He doesn't seem to know that Mathilda is just as scrupulous as I am, and better at math." '

- Sans' delayed reaction on Frisk's saying she gotta get hitched to quit being High Priestess, and then his actual reaction Frisk is very confused about

- The moments of uncomfortables between Sans and Frisk, and how change of topic leaves this heavy feeling in the air

- The lessons blabber. Yes, I said it before, but listening to Frisk tutor Sans and him being engaged is very entertaining to me

- Sans purposefully sighing loud enough to spook the guard into leaving Frisk alone

- ' "Did I mention yer job sucks?" '

- Sans being tickled off even at the mention of marriage

- 'Not very deep down, he felt as irritated as he had when she'd mentioned marriage on the way here, with some bonus aggravation at wasting his feelings on something that he didn't even care about because it was none of his business and he didn't care.'

- Sans saltily advising Frisk to marry guys she can ignore or get killed off. I absolutely love his bitterness

- ' "What are pals for?"

That got him a real smile, one of the ones that made him forget thinking. ' HHHHH makes me smile too :')

- ' "'Salutations, honored lady. I humbly request blah blah the honor of blah blah blah eternal gratitude blah your hand in marriage'?!" '

- Sans' rampage of opening every proposal letter to make sure they are all proposals

- Sans' dismissal of her blabber about how long she's been getting proposals. I really love this scene, Sans is so bitter and Frisk is oblivious to the true reason and i am LIVING IT

- ' Good fer you." Sans shifted around and thumped his elbow on the table, startling her silent. "Let's get back t'savin' the world." The skeleton flipped the nearest book to a random page. "Here, this looks crucial to the survival of my entire race. It's...what the hell's an 'oral contraceptive'?" '

- 'High Priestess offered to take him for a walk, but Sans had already had his fill of non-Frisk humans for the day...' i love that implication

- '[in bathroom] He actually fell asleep for a bit, until Frisk had to bang on the door and threaten to come in and drag him out. His indifference to the idea – pointing out that skeletons didn't have any private parts – only got him in further trouble.'

- ' "Want me t'check under your bed for monsters? Or assassins, or whatever?"

Frisk paused mid-rub. "Would you?" she mumbled, cheeks pink.

It was so cute that Sans had to cover himself with a big, emphatic gesture that carried him to his feet.' yes its so cute!! And again shows that Frisk has fears

- ' "Night, kiddo." He went back to his room, shut off the light, and lay down, bemused at himself for calling her that. "If she's a kid, you're a real sicko," he mumbled out loud... '

- '..he mumbled out loud, and fell asleep wondering again what a contraceptive was.' THAT TONE CHANGE SKSHSKJWS it always catches me off guard I can't-

- 'The High Priestess' rooms were luxurious enough to have adequate space for him, but as weirdly satisfying as it was to play with plants and cauldrons, and as much as he enjoyed the view across the table, he had to admit it was good to stretch his legbones.'

- ' "You almost gave me and this poor man a heart attack-" '

- Sans asking if humans need to screw that much

- Sans asking if humans need to screw that much out of nowhere and Frisk's reaction to it

- Sans' reaction to her reaction

- their following conversation about reproduction

- ' "Heyyy, din-din," he said brightly, rushing to open it and scaring the life out of the poor woman pushing the trolley.'

- ' "...when they parted for the night, he had to admit that it was kind of funny—each of them obviously wanted to ask the other more stuff, but wasn't going to be the one to bring it back up. Maybe tomorrow, he told himself, not believing a word of it.'

- Sans' dream

Chapter 5

- First chapter I had to wait for because when I initially read Songfell it was only 4 chapters in and it HOOKED me so hard you don't even know. Before I actually got to talk to Ikky and roughly know when chapters gonna come out I'd refresh the fanfic page sooo often in hopes of update on this fanfic specifically. Yeah you can say it didn't take long for it to become one of my most favorite fanfics

- 'What he could not handle was having a really wonderful dream like that, only to wake up wifeless, childless, and absolutely certain he'd remain that way for the rest of his unnatural life.' 

- Sans feeling taunted when seeing Frisk read one of the proposal letters

- ' "Good...morning," she said. "Are you all right?"

"F'fn m'rg," he muttered.

"I see." '

- Dr. Serif opening door from outside with his magic

- Sans being absolutely antagonistic towards him

- Gaster's persuading word for Sans being 'boo'

- 'He was still reeling from what he'd seen, and only vaguely aware that he had to say something leaving-related.'

- Sans being so shocked he ignored Frisk's pun and SHE WAS SO DISCOURAGED, MY HEAAART- its like he left her high-five hanging, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

- Gaster being overly excited to meet Sans in his monster form and finally getting to question him and unleash his own knowledge in return

- Sans being weirded out by Gaster using Frisk's name

- Sans being absolutely enchanted by Frisk's singing without even realising its her

- Sans not noticing he started CRYING

- The way Gaster hands him a handkerchief

- 'Technically, she knew she should keep her veil on, but the prospect made her want to eat the damn thing.'

- Frisk thinking that Sans is rubbing off on her already

- Gaster pointing out to Frisk that Sans have missed her

- Gaster's multiple comments across the fic where he brings one up to other in the romantic light. Whether he wants to mess with them or wants them to end up together i find it infinitely amusing

- As I mentioned before, Gaster is a weirdo with questionable motives, but the moments of him being weirdly 'pretend social tone-deafness' are all golden

- Gaster being all HINT HINT at the fact that it was Frisk's singing, and Sans' realization

- 'His obvious disbelief made her want to dunk her head in the water pitcher, and perhaps also throw it at him.'

- 'The skeleton grumble-shrugged.'

- Gaster being flabbergastered after hearing Sans didn't mind Frisk's barrier

- i love the fact that sans isn't perfect. Like, we know it by design, he is quite an ass, but sometimes he is such an idiot. Not in an infuriating way, its always justifiable and makes sense story and character-wise. You watch it unfold before your eyes and want to stop it so badly and shout at the screen 'no, Sans, stop, you dumbass!'. 

- ' And that was how Frisk learned an interesting fact about skeletons: they didn't have ears, but when faced with a completely unexpected and shrill sound – not just being shouted at – they still instinctively tried to cover the sides of their head, and at least one of them also yelled, "What the fuckin' crap was that for?!" '

- Their argument. I love every bit of it.

- 'Frisk stood in the middle of the table, her pulse racing, not sure whether to cry or step down and then cry.'

- 'Damn him. The bedroom was an upset woman's native habitat, and he had stolen it. There was the couch, but it wasn't the same.'

- Frisk's musings after their fight

- The fact for how long Frisk is oblivious to Sans' feelings towards her and the things he does/wants to subject him in relation to her proposals/suitors. Her blindness combined with determination to ignore all the signs she did notice is immense

- '...he'd probably thought he was complimenting her in some backhanded, childish fashion, but leave it to Sans to turn being "perfect" into an insult.'

- '...he'd have company in the evenings, not to mention nights and mornings in bed, which there was no shame in looking forward to!' and there isn't! 

- Frisk getting so upset she even considers sending him away because she thought they were friends and trusted him and into him but he went and hurt her like that with his words and i just hhhhhhhh-

- Sans still being angry when he hears her whistle but instantly hurrying to her in worry when he sees how distressed she is-

- The way Sans apologizes to her. HHHHHHH he tells her he wishes she liked to sing aaaaaa

- the fact that that's what breaks Frisk into crying

- 'Sans scratched the back of his skull, glancing at the windows – still too small to jump out-' SANS PLEASE-

- ' "...I was on the way to becomin' my bee-yootiful new self." ' the way he said this

- ' "If I was a lady boss monster, I could handle someone else's magic and make a little Sans, no problem, but no." ' make a little Sans-

- their conversation after Sans' boss monster story

- Frisk building a pillow fort to sleep in

- 'When she sniffled again – in a residual kind of way – Sans remembered the handkerchief, and wished he hadn't used so much of it. It was her fault, having that kind of voice out of nowhere.' just, awww <3

Chapter 6

- Sans and Frisk's chess dispute. D o r k s <3

- ' "...Do you have any questions?"

Sans opened his box and scowled at the short, neatly coiled chain therein. "Why's it smaller than yours?"

"I meant any good questions. If not, then do as I say." ' sans comparing chains

- Sans' 'quiet' reaction to his chain

- Frisk missing their 'slumber parties' 

- Frisk wondering if Luke likes puns and what she wonders next

- Frisk wondering about skeleton's kissing and reproduction capabilities despite herself >:3

- Back when I read this the first time I was surprised and warned about future d-ck jokes and I love them and the tone this fanfic has haha

- Sans being endeared how gentle Sans' touch is

- Sans helping her to put her earring on without second thoughts

- Frisk's 'ow' sounds in the middle of her speech

- ' "... I should've washed it last night, but I had too many letters to send out." Something in Sans' expression made her add, "I haven't even touched any of the proposals." ' y e s s s 

- 'Frisk hadn't expected any compliments, as such, and she wasn't very dressed up, but was tired enough to still be annoyed.' awww she wants a compliment-

- 'Frisk said, knowing he'd take the hint to get out his tongue, and trying in vain to avoid more tongue-related thoughts.'

- 'Lord Owen watched her, and Sans watched him a little, but mostly watched Frisk, who whistled at the parrot until she was out of breath.'

- Frisk playing with the bird

- ' "... Go get yer stuff on, but keep the door open so I can tell ya what's goin' on."

This was not the most polite suggestion she'd ever heard, but time was indeed wearing on, and curiosity was already outweighing her sense of dread, so she listened through the cracked door as she undressed.'

- The noise Sans makes when he sees her ceremonial dress and his reaction

- 'Sans had lived through a lot of crap, including a bone-shredding magical catastrophe, multiple fights for his life and those of others, and enough emotional turmoil to kill most people, human or monster. But somehow, he couldn't think of anything worse than having tea-time with that smug, perfect piece of shit with his smug, perfect hair and perfect courtesy and perfect lots of money and modesty and kindness and nice family she liked who also liked her and cutesy pets that made Frisk laugh and he kept touching her for no damn reason.'

- 'One woman admired how Her Eminence had tamed that horrible skeleton monster, but wondered about the propriety of a pretty young woman keeping a male of any kind in her living quarters, and her husband murmured that it didn't count if the monster wasn't capable of male-specific activities. His wife shushed him, but in a laughing way, and Sans looked around in vain for something he'd be allowed to kill.' i love people's continual dismissal of Sans because he is a skeleton with presumably no male parts

- Sans pondering about whisking Frisk away into the Underground

- Sans being disappointed he missed Frisk's song

- Sans complaining about his body

- ' "-it feels like the air is attackin' me-" '

- 'Sans could have killed himself. He'd done it again, talking about how she could have died as though it was no big deal.'

- THE HUG!!!

- everything about the hug

- Sans being confused about the weird new personal sensation

- Ikky's comment

- Chain of Ikky's comments

Chapter 7

- Sans trolling captain of the guard

- ' "Didn't think I'd get t'walk ya down the aisle today."

"You do know that a girl's father does that for her, not the groom?" she murmured back, and Sans looked so chagrined that she snrrked again. ' she knows he wants to be the groom, she knows~

- children flocking Sans

- them being comfy with each other when they get home

- Frisk being happy that Sans would definitely come back after sent underground

- Frisk may be good with words but she makes wrong choices sometimes too. Like comparing monsters to Luke's birds-

- Sans being menacing

- Sans pulling flower out of her hair and turning it into ash- i love this air of real danger

- Frisk thinking back to their hug aaaaa-

- Frisk saying she doesn't want to see Lord Owen again and Sans being too late faking his disinterest-

- Frisk pinpointing things that bother her in him. Yes, girl, just because he is perfect on paper doesn't mean he has to be perfect for you!!

- Sans asking her to come Underground with him. AND THE WAY HE PHRASES IT, MY HEART-

- Frisk crying after overflow of emotions

- Them being at the door at the same time and Sans almost knocking on her face

- Sans trying to make excuses about inviting her to 'slumber party' again and het flat out saying she missed him a a a a a a a a a a -

- 'Sans turned an interesting shade, and muttered a general denial of missing anybody, which she ignored.'

- Sans' continual want to 'grab' her even when he doesn't realize what he wants by that yet 

- Sans calming himself down by thinking he can just kill whatever prick wants to marry Frisk

Chapter 8

- The fact that this chapter came out TWO DAYS after previous one. I know its small but back when I was first reading it it was like an early Christmas present

- drunk dude asking Frisk where's her ring after she said she is waiting for her husband

- Sans not being able to hide his emotions much on his human face

- 'It would have been funny if she hadn't felt so guilty.'

- Sans subjecting himself to this human experience in the first place so he and Frisk can hang out on the festival more safely <3

- the callback of sans going from complaining about germs on a fork to him wanting to finish her drink

- The alley scene kdbahskdbs poor Frisk

- Pet names

- ' "I'm...I'm fine." It was as lying a lie as he'd ever heard, but Frisk did look better.'

- ' "...Can I please have a caramel apple?"

Sans would have given her the entire display case – the entire store – if she wanted.' awww <3

- Them wandering around the festivals is just... cute, so so cute, i love it

- 'She did seem better, so he allowed her to walk, ignoring the little whine in his SOUL that wanted her closer.' hhhhhhhng

- 'The otherworldly voice was very matter-of-fact. "More detail, more money." There was an impressive pause. "Tra la la," it added helpfully.'

- Fortune teller low-key trolling Frisk

- The future-telling scene is so powerful. And despite us knowing Frisk's entire future now, story is still interesting! You wanna see how it'll play out and be there! That's just a sign of a wonderful story

- Sans' absolute overreaction and ferryman's 'im so done' reaction to his antics

Chapter 9

- 'Sans and Frisk did not have a slumber party that night.' such a powerful opening to the chapter

- 'She'd put it aside until she could talk to Sans without wanting to pull his arm off and slap him with it.'

- We know what's in the box! But have to think what's in the orb in the box now!!

- Frisk's reflection on her possible future and what she thinks about both choices, totally understandable

- Frisk's reaction to drunk and naked Sans

- ' "How d'ya say this? It's human. How do you human. Please." ' wheeze yes, Frisk, please

- Frisk mouthing 'help' to Dr. Serif

- ' "Sans," said the doctor, "where are your clothes?"

The skeleton blinked at him, sockets still wide orange. "Off," he said, as though the sorcerer was being stupid.' 

- Sans' lack of filter whilst drunk

- '  "I saw the kid once, and I could tell it hates my guts." The boss monster took a moment to indicate that he didn't have guts, ha ha, but Gaster was unamused.'

- Sans getting distracted by thinking about smell of Frisk's hair

- Gaster apologizing about causing Sans' flashback

- Sans having a favorite song and wanting to ask Frisk to sing it and pondering if Gaster knew if its his favorite-

- The backstory of Sans. I'm not big fan of 'this character came from another world' idea, but when it's done right its so so good!

- Gaster talking how pain can manifest into an actual sleep paralysis demon and Sans thinking he is talking about him

- Gaster quiz of 'which AU Sans are you?'

- Gaster's insistent asking about Underlust in particular 

- Sans' reactions to Gaster's weird kinky questions and the fact that he has enough when Gaster hits the nerve

- Sans being smug about how Frisk gonna go with him to the Underground

- The fact that Frisk opened her makeshift safe and showed the box right after Gaster was musing how it's the only missing puzzle piece- 

- Frisk's 'don't even think about it'. She is so done. I love her.

- Gaster's realization that it's memories

- 'Why would you need to carve something like that out of someone's head, and how would getting it back make the difference between a future of "stupid perfect husband she didn't even like" and "monsters going free" plus "having sex sometime soon"?' one of my most favorite lines ever. I live it. I love you Ikky

- Sans being creeped out by Gaster despite his size or power

- 'But before Sans could even start feeling things about that, much less sort through them, the doctor half-smiled. "None of them, however, involved a boss monster." He stood, and walked to the door. "I'm sorry." He slipped out, leaving Sans to stare up at the wallpaper ceiling.' HHHHHH SO GOOD - SANS' HOPE AND INNER TURMOIL AND GASTER BEING SORRY HE DOESN'T KNOW THE ANSWER AAAAAAAAA

Chapter 10

- 'Sans didn't like the idea – in fact, he completely hated it – but he was in the mood to think before he spoke, and the more he did, the more it made sense.'

- Sans melting when Frisk says 'please' to him

- Frisk lashing out at Sans and leaving him speechless

- Sans irritatingly wondering how much magic Gaster got from him

- Frisk going a tad bit overboard with her harshness on Sans and his reaction hhhhh

- Frisk being disappointed she doesn't have a good reason to reject Luke

- Frisk having to stop herself from dumping all proposals into the fire in her bitterness

- Frisk missing Sans. All of it. Her thinking of more puns and forgetting he is gone for a second and, just.... my heart

- Frisk not being apposed to Sans cuddling her in bed. And if he does more than cuddling.

- 'Frisk actually had to remind herself that Sans was a skeleton, only for her self to remind her that there were approximately two hundred creative ways around that particular deficit.'

- 'This was ridiculous. It had only been a few hours, and she was still furious with him, but she missed Sans so much that she could barely function.' I adore this line my shipping heart melts every time

- Guards eavesdropping on Frisk and Owen

- Frisk's nothingness at hugging Luke. Heheheeee

- 'At least she had eliminated any remaining doubt: Luke could offer her pleasant company, and that was all. Not warmth, or real companionship, or gentleness, laughter, intellectual stimulation, literal attraction...'  I love how she goes on because we know who she is thinking about >:3

- Frisk thinking back on the girl talk in the St Brigits

- ' It was probably also why everyone had to undergo a comprehensive sexual education course when they turned fourteen, and of course, the girls who could tell penis jokes for literal hours on end felt quite differently about the matter when an eighty-year-old priestess was passing out textbooks with full-color drawings and scientific labels.'

- Frisk going at it a lot when she got privacy. Go girl 👌'she wouldn't have been given those parts if she wasn't meant to use them.'

- Frisk thinking about taking her teleportation barrier in case Sans comes back >:3

- 'fecking knock'

- You can feel how tired Frisk is in this chapter :<

- Frisk being tempted into teleporting to Sans

- Frisk's brief fear that Sans won't come back

- Frisk's hope she can dream for Sans. LISTEN I LOVE HOW IT'S ONLY BEEN A DAY AND SHE IS MISSING HIM

- The dream, heehee

- 'Frisk was not afraid. She was done. She got out of bed with an ache in her groin and murderous resolve in her heart, moving silently through the bedroom and the dark workroom.'

- Gaster being confused about Frisk's truth spell

- Gaster slow-clapping

- Gaster succumbing to his curiousity

- Frisk complaining Gaster woke her up from a very good dream ;3

- '  "As is so often the case, every attempt I make only compounds the problem, and yet I cannot seem to stop." ' relatable

- ' "I made another well-intentioned mistake." 

- Frisk and Gaster's conversation

- Frisk blushing when Gaster tells her she decreases Sans' LOVE

- GASTER BEING SO DONE WITH FRISK'S DENIAL AND OUTRIGHT SAYING SANS IS IN LOVE WITH HER AAAAAAAAAAA

- 'Frisk had specifically been taught not to do what she did next'

- Frisk snapping at him after his spiel

- 'As she approached, Frisk heard a familiar chuckle, but not in a familiar way. This was not a skeleton pleased with his own stupid puns or laughing at her rage when he beat her at chess five times in a row. This was someone standing amidst a pile of broken human corpses, surveying his handiwork and enjoying it.' hell yes, that's blood freezing

- Frisk being afraid for a second that in reality Sans isn't the skeleton she came to know and a killer instead, bit quickly realising he is both

- Frisk reaching out to him with her hands and him reaching back only to realize his hands are covered in blood a a a a a a

- ' "Ya don't wanna see this!"

"No, I don't. But I wanted to see you," she said.' MY HEART-

- 'Frisk smiled. "Thank you. That means a lot to me."

Sans made his usual noises, which just made her smile wider.' Sans noises- so cute-

- 'The skeleton's eyes were fully alight. "Yer kiddin'. Ya haven't even done anythin'!"

There was the tiniest pause, and lest he add "...Right?" and force her to kill him, Frisk said, "Right." ' pfffft

- SANS SINCERELY TRYING TO SUPPORT HER HHHHH

- I love this whole conversation. After they were on edge and snapped at each other and got separated they meet up and just calmly talk and its so good-

- Frisk's absolute determination to hug Sans

- the hug. THE HUG. THE HUG!!!!

- Sans asking Frisk what she uses to smell so good

- '"Whaddya do with yer hair?" he muttered.

It was...not what she'd expected him to say. "Can you elaborate, please?" she muttered back.'

- Frisk spotting blood while she is hugging Sans but not even thinking of letting him go aaaaaaaaaaaa-

- Frisk feeling secure and Sans playing with her hair and ahdbbdjsjsbnd i love it all

- 'Sans had the oddest look on his face. It reminded her of when she'd cleaned the fork for him at their first face-to-face meeting in the bedroom.'

- Sans not letting her go until she ducked out of his hands hhhhhhh

- 'This time, after only five or so minutes, the doors banged open, and one guard dropped his halberd.'

- Gaster's theatrics

- Guards gossiping

Chapter 11

- This chapter is just a rollercoaster of emotions 

- Asriel being friggin adorable

- 'He [Sans] tried to stand up, but the floor wouldn't stay still: it dumped him right off his feet. "Fu' you, too," he told it.'

- Sans trying to close the door and Gaster losing his patience

- Gaster always being salty at Sans' foul mouth

- ' "I would call you names, but as I did not figure it out, either, I will call you only one: idiot." ' Gaster really grew on me while I was rereading pffft

- Sans' drunk experiments. I mean, it was one way to find out...

- 'As for what had been working, damn. He still loathed humans, but this explained a lot'

- First thing Sans asking Gaster after he said Frisk opened the box is about Frisk's well being aaaaa-

- Sans trying to think how he can stay closer to Frisk in her 'future', hhhh my booooy

- Sans, despite being a killer, getting uncomfortable about Gaster's questions about killing out of enjoyment

- ' "What am I s'posed t'do?! Sit down everyone I see carryin' a buncha chains an' explain that it hurts our feelin's when they're mean to us?" '

- ' "If I have to put literally everything in a Frisk-centric context to get through to you, I will," he [Gaster] said testily.' PFFFFT-

- HIM THINKING BACK ABOUT THEIR SHARED DREAM HHHHH he needs those hugs so badly

- '...Damn. What if he enjoyed killing stuff so much because it was the only thing he was good for anymore? If he could somehow stop, what would he have left?' SAAAANS QOQ

- And just like that this emotional moment comes down to 'And why was he getting aroused again?!' Thaaaat's Songfell

- 'Was it her fault that his deep-down, germ-sized hope of somehow fitting into her second fortune had been crushed like it deserved?' HE HOPED-

- 'Stupid Gaster. If he hadn't given Sans that stupid chain, the idea of fathering her kid would never have been so cruelly plausible.... In the same vein, the chain hadn't given him brand-new powers of smell or touch or boners, just shown him how he could've done it at any time' have i told you i love you Ikky and your jokes are absolutely hilarious

- Sans still pondering about details of smex

- Sans being determined to Be Frisk's friend, hhhhhhh

- ' ".. I don't know about you, but I'm freezing my ass off." ' (c) Gaster 

I can't-

- 'That did it. No matter how crappy and torn-up he felt, Sans vowed he wasn't going to do anything to make her life harder. He wouldn't kill that Owen guy; he could help deliver stuff, make sure no one tried to murder her before the wedding...' HE CARES ABOUT HER SO MUCH I JUST HHHHHH-

- Sans wishing he'd never stayed in the cell before berating himself for these thoughts

- Sans' reaction to new bookmarks and her handwriting

- alfalfalfafalfa

- This wait for Sans and Frisk to meet again. Back when I was reading it the first time I wanted them to meet so so haaaard it was tearing me apart inside

- 'Sans shrugged, put a bookmark in like God intended, and set it aside.' I'm not sure of Sans believes in God but he does hold strong belief in bookmarks

- Sans' haste to get back from the meeting because of how badly he wants to see Frisk

- 'He still hated the idea, but there was no reason it couldn't work, maybe, eventually...in the other future where she'd opened the box.'  THIS TOYING WITH OUR HEARTS-

- Sans fixing the table dent <3

- 'It occurred to him for the first time that she probably didn't have clothes on, and he immediately decided to think about something else. Oh, look, there was the folder Gaster had been reading the whole afternoon.'

- The bathroom scene. All of it. The song, Sans getting in there and just kneeling and nuzzling her like a cat and just relishing the feeling of her and that his only intention was to be near her hhhhhh-

- The fact that Frisk purposefully LURED him in-

- The fact that the song is MLP song-

- 'Sans remained sitting on the side of bed by the opposite wall, staring at the cold fireplace, awaiting his doom.'

- Sans being disappointed he hasn't gotten a better look at her

- Sans reflecting on the fact that it's weird for a lonely woman to lure in a male into the bathroom

- 'Still, here she was. And it turned out that his tiny, squishy, beaten-up hope, the idea that he could somehow cram himself into a bigger role in her life than "pet project," wasn't as dead as he'd thought. It was resurging, and so was the now-familiar urge to grab her, except this time, he knew exactly what he was supposed to do with it. He knew that she'd missed him and had just admitted to enticing him in while she was naked, and—' i love this entire paragraph. Y e s. Especially last sentence it's hilarious-

- Him forgetting everything and almost reaching out for her only to stop hHhHhHh

- ' "...You really scared me when you didn't come home yesterday."

Come home? Was she trying to fucking kill him?' Home <3

- 'Why were they talking about this depressing shit instead of hugging some more? ...Probably because he couldn't trust himself right now to stop at hugging.' I love Sans

- Sans stopping for a second to admire the colour of her eyes

- Sans siphoning negative energy so his brother and other monsters wouldn't get affected by it hhh my boy-

- Frisk saying she'll come back with him SHE'LL COME BACK WITH HIM- 

- The fact she says it after seeing Sans at his worst and hearing what he told her in that conversation

- Sans saying he shouldn't go because he wants to protect her from Asgore aaaa-

- ' He sat down and poked at his food. It didn't look that great anymore, but he might as well be miserable, not miserable and hungry.'

- Kris wondering if he should bow to monster royals awwww

- Sans saltily asking about what's the rush with the wedding prep

- Frisk just putting Sans to sleep when he wouldn't stop with the questions

- 'There was no more hugging, or talking about feelings, or any of the things he'd grown to expect.'

- 'He couldn't force her to act happier now that her decision was made, but it sucked that he'd advised her to pick something and stop being miserable, and she'd picked something, and now they were both miserable.'

- Sans being sad and salty that his quiet days with Frisk are no more

- Sans' realisation of reproduction process

- 'As himself, the process took a lot of concentration, and he got weirded out if he looked down at it too long, but—'

- 'He was a monster, and monsters weren't designed to waste their time or magic playing with themselves.'

- ' He couldn't stop thinking about holding her again, and he didn't think it was that disingenuous to want to point out to her how much better she'd feel if she'd opened up to him again. And then sex.' s A N S

- "By all means, you can have him [Kris]. I know you both love surprises." THE FORESHADOWING-

- 'Watching her scribble her way through the pre-written letters and the documents necessary for the deposits on each monster, Sans had to reflect on the amount of time and forethought all of this had required, and congratulated himself on not going off on her for being so little fun the past few days. Granted, it was a pretty low bar, but he'd stumbled all the way over it! Even if she was going to marry some other schlub, he, Sans the skeleton, had been a helper, and he hadn't had to kill a single person to do it!' ...... sans

- Sans thinking about Owen and the 'wedding' like an asshat and wishing he'll choke on his way back pffft

- 'He'd had trouble focusing around her before, and now Sans found himself crunching his femurs together to help remind him that no.'

- Sans getting entertained while he calculates the food he wants to bring and the prices

- New clothes! And slippers, too!

- 'Aaargh, she smelled great and she was being ludicrously generous—oh, good, she was going into the office now to let him try the new stuff on. '

- 'The black-and-red ensemble was warm and comfortable, it had great pockets, it looked cool, and he was never taking it off.' y e s

- 'It was stupid and dumb of him to be so pleased that they matched, but, they matched.' THEY MATCH THEY MATCH-

- 'Frisk took a dainty spoonful of soup and, under the table, kicked Sans in the tibia.'

- 'From the King's stiffened back and tightened mouth, Sans guessed that it was one of those polite little conversational bitch-slaps humans were so good at.'

- Gaius is cute

- ' "Oh, nothin'. I'm just tryin' ta figure out what's wrong with my ears. It sure sounded ta me like you told His Majesty that ya don't care if my Majesty wants to rip your heart out 'n eat it." '

- Frisk's determination to go Underground and how she just sprinkled that to Sans

- SHEEE OPEEENED THE BOX SHE OOOPENED THE BOX

- Sans' reaction to her saying that

- Sans piecing together that Frisk has been buying gifts for everyone

- 'Frisk shut her eyes. She opened them. "We don't give Papyrus enough credit," she commented. "He figured it out before I did, and you still don't—" ' YES CREDIT TO PAPYRUS!!!

- Frisk being Kris, and this revelation not being hella obvious from the start

- the 'stripes'

- the whole sequence, man. The arguing, the flashback, the realisation and Sans' reflection on it, and the comfort, just- its all so good

- ' "NYEH HEH! WELL DONE, BROTHER! (PSST! HUMAN! LET'S HIT HIM WITH THE SPECIAL ATTACK NEXT!)" '

- ' "ACK! YOU ARE WET, HUMAN! SANS! PLEASE ASSIST KRIS BEFORE HE MELTS!"

"I'm gonna melt?!" ' dorks, i love them

- Kris' unnerving reaction to stripes and Sans hugging the poor kid :<

- ' "c'mon, kiddo. let's go tell pap your skin melted."

"Okay!" Back on familiar ground, Kris hopped up and down. "Can we tell Toriel my skin melted?"

"haaa ha ha ha no." '

- 'And Sans had never, ever told anyone about the "stripes." ' word stripes is so unnerving in this context, too...

- ' "So...Kris, huh?"

"That's me." ' THIS EXCHANGE- AAAAAAAAAA

- 'Her head drooped, leaving a long curve of neck and shoulder that the stupider parts of him couldn't stop staring at.'

- Sans' protective instinct kicking in and him realizing the one of the fortune aspects

- Frisk begging Sans to go home

- Sans sweeping Frisk into his overcoat

- Sans calling her 'kitten'

- 'This wasn't fair! He already loved her so much, and now this? What was he supposed to do?'

- ' The bones of his face itched where the red kept trickling down, but the sky could have started falling, and he wouldn't have moved before she was ready.' HHHHHHHHH

- i got the most hilarious answer to my comment I've ever seen. I remember laughing out loud on that one

Chapter 12

- Asgore calling Kris his new hat

- Asgore being cute

- Frisk feeling safe under Sans' coat <3

- Frisk playing with the fur for a moment. Such a cute detail

- ' “The lady and I became more intimately acquainted in your absence,” said Gaster.

“Doctor,” Frisk called warningly. ' w h e e z e

- Sans' reaction to learning Gaster broke in while he was away

- how many times Gaster slaps Sans

- Frisk's smart political decisions of getting good buzz around the town while she is Underground

- ' “And my ‘innumerable’ family. I hope the monsters will fit that description.”

“Damn straight,” commented Sans, which made her flush again. ' thisss makes me smile

- ' Gaster nodded, and she was almost certain that he waited for her to take a sip of milk before he asked, “Have you selected a father for your child?” ' Gaster is the biggest troll in this story and i both hate and love it

- ' “I am acting purely to further Her Eminence’s goal of peace between the human and monster races,” Gaster lied with his stupid lying face.'

- Sans telling Gaster about conclusions he came while thinking about himself and Frisk together

- Gaster quickly getting outta dodge

- Sans calling Frisk 'kitten'

- Frisk's reaction to seeing he broke the table is asking him if he was alright-

- Sans hugging her so he can fix the table and he does and hhhhh-

- Her laying against him and him playing with her hair <3

- 'Oh, well. At least they matched again.' THEY! ARE! MATCHING!

- 'To his disgruntlement, Sans was conscripted to make toys fly around – though he drew the line at the actual children begging to be flung across the room – while Frisk distributed the pastries they’d brought and the boss monster contemplated his life choices. '

- 'He contented himself with the fact that Frisk seemed pretty happy, though he wasn’t a big fan of how many kids were coughing on her.'

- more slumber parties!

- 'Two of the past three mornings, he’d woken up with her curled up in her blanket against his side, and his SOUL had damn near melted.' hhhhhhhhhhHHH-

- 'Her sudden proximity could have been a problem, but on close self-examination, Sans found he’d rather punch himself in the spectral junk than take advantage of her emotional vulnerability.'

- Sans being ashamed he doesn't have much patience with humans

- 'what a nice skeleton' moment

- 'As usual, every time he started to recover, she snrrked and got him going again. When the priestess had almost caught her breath, Sans retaliated with “What a nice skeleton” in his best old-lady voice and nearly killed her.' DORKS!!!! I love them

- The confident way Frisk speaks to the King

- 'Frisk had long since made up her mind how to “prepare” her apprentice, but she had no intention to discuss it with the King yet.' Heeehehe~

- 'She might be planning to reject him [Owen] in the most overt way possible and embarrass him in front of the entire kingdom, but that was no reason to be impolite, was it?'

- Sans taking care of sick Frisk

- ' "Tori would love to have some more,” Sans remarked. “Meat, eggs, and somethin’ ta fuss over.” ' cute

- 'Sans chuckled. That rumbling sound had always raised the hairs on the back of her neck, but lately, it did it in a good way. '

- FRISK BEING NERVOUS ABOUT MEETING MONSTERS AGAIN, HONEY PLEASE QwQ

- Frisk liking his nickname for her

- Dream 2: the Sequel

- 'She could remember standing by his house in Snowdin as a child, holding his hand and smiling up at him, sensing how unhappy he was behind his lackadaisical exterior and how hard he was working to hide it. He hadn’t deserved to feel that way back then, and he didn’t need a demon to help him torment himself now!' D: saaaaans

- Sans' trying to shake her off but Frisk determined to hug him till he hugs back hhhh <3

- Emotional moment, and next second Frisk thinking about how she gonna get shaked up in couple of months. Thaaaaat's Songfell

- 'Strange: they’d spent enough time together to be used to platonic physical contact, but it felt so intimate for him to let her touch him between the bones of his hands that she didn’t know what to do with herself.'

- Them washing tears off together, and Sans smearing more right after they're done

-' “I wasn’t—” There was a slightly stupid pause as he tried to formulate a denial of having been upset. She just looked at him, and he switched tactics, protesting-'

- 'The young woman sighed and rubbed her eyes, unaware that Sans had looked up, or that his entire world had instantly become fixated on the front of her robe.'

- Sans being set off. He feels so dangerous again! Kinda hot and dangerous

- Frisk LICKING LIPS IN THAT MOMENT, GIIIRL YOU-

- 'And a small part of her, an urge that steadily grew as his breath washed over her and his fingers brushed her cheek, actually wondered what would happen if she didn’t stop him. Hadn’t she wanted this for a long time, no matter how much she enjoyed his friendship?' 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

- The way Frisk distracts him and calms him down. ' “Come on,” she said, trying to sound old. “Be a nice skeleton.” ' JSVJAAVJA-

- Sans' ashamed reaction to his outburst

- Frisk finally reflecting on how stupid of a denial she was in.  all of it. 

- Frisk thinking of all the times she led him on and how much she must've put him through

- 'Even worse was the realization that she hadn’t really believed it, and yet was operating on the half-conscious assumption that he was hers if she wanted him—stupid and presumptuous, not a good combination.' 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

- ' “We’re going to bring those monsters back to the Underground ourselves, and I will stay for ten days as their first official human visitor in thirteen years, and if my father doesn’t like it, I will cordially invite him to go fuck himself. He’s certainly had enough practice.” '

- Frisk's rage after the letter

- How determined Frisk is to finally talk to Sans about feelings™

- The talk about the dream 

- 'If she wanted to talk about this—' and what proceeds, I love how bitter and salty Sans is, poor boy

- Sans realising they are not ready 'yet'

- 'The last of Sans’ resistance crumbled as he placed his massive hand on hers, trapping it against his cheek. She’d won. If she wanted him to think he was great and not a giant, psychotic, poisonous piece of shit, he’d do it. If she wanted to wait till they were Underground and then let him have her, he wasn’t going to argue anymore. If she wanted him to tear his own head off and eat it…' y e s, everything about this

- The chain in the comments we made

Chapter 13

- Frisk's change of plans

- 'As her personal guard, and her…whatever the hell they were now-'

- Sans insisting Frisk ride the wagon with warm monsters to stay warm

- Monsters getting excited and relieved when they saw Sans, awww

- Sans forcing Frisk onto bed. To sleep

- 'The boss monster emitted a loud, sustained fake snore, cut short by her pillow landing on his face.'

- Sans scaring horses

- ' “I am trusting you, Frisk, to bring back favorable news, and prove that this mission is any better than a child’s tantrum over not getting her way.”

“I wonder that Your Majesty has ever spent enough time with a child to see one,” ' OOOOOO THE BUUUUURN

- ' “I know you’ve got a lotta different tricks.” Snort. “Any chance ya have somethin’ that’ll pull the wagons for us?”

“Yes. You.” '

- 'Sans didn’t have time to admire how the cold air had turned her cheeks red, or be really irritated at how the men had all gawked at her without her veil, but he did it anyway...'

- Sans being salty about being a horse and making neigh sound

- Sans worried more about Frisk wasting her energy on a barrier than being in a barrier aaaaa-

- 'Sans bundled her under his coat and sat down against the wheel, folding her into the crook of his arm while he summoned up heat and softness, everything a skeleton usually couldn’t offer.' AWWWWWW

- Nonconcencual (half-concencual?) magic transfer

- ' “You know who her dad is, right?”

The pale-haired stranger blinked again. “Duke Whatshisface?” '

- 'According to everything Sans had seen, only the Cardinal or the King could go over her head; therefore, while Duke Whatshisass was in charge of doling the monsters out to new owners...' pfffft

- 'In a weird way, this was the push he needed to be a little less miserable about not deserving her and a bit more smug that she’d picked him over the zillion guys desperate to snag an illegitimate princess. At this point, she transcended the concept of anyone deserving her. He still thought he sucked, but so what? If he hadn’t imagined what she’d said the other night, then…' pffft yes be smug be proud 

- Sans running away from the camp once he gets attacked

- Frisk freaking pouring water at Undyne pffffff-

- Undyne. She's a delight

- Monster's reaction to Undyne! Yesss!

- ' He was pulling one wagon, and Undyne was pulling the other one alongside him; all it’d taken to get her going was a hint that she couldn’t do it.'

- Frisk and Undyne chatting

- Undyne calling Frisk Sans' 'sugar mama'

- Sans being thankful Frisk and Undyne dont hate each other for no reason but then being salty they hate on him instead pffft

- Sans sounding proud when saying how he tried to kill Frisk and nothing worked

- Both Sans and Frisk being confused when Undyne asks about Sans going back with Frisk because they both don't even question it aaaa-

- Frisk's excitment about being back Underground

- 'Sure, Papyrus kept nattering about how Sans and a mysterious human had told him they were going to come back to the Underground soon and everything would be all right, but…Papyrus.' PAPYRUS IS THE BEST OK-

- Monsters welcoming Kris back

- Papyrus and Sans meeting again

- Papyrus stress-cleaning :< poor Pap

- rock-candy shards instead of sprinkles

- Frisk asking Undyne about magic transaction and Undyne waggling her brows at her

- 'Frisk had the sudden, idiotic, schoolgirl-ish urge to giggle—did the good magic come out of the top half of his body, while the evil stuff came out of the other thing?' pffft Frisk is a dork

- Everyone almost panicking at Frisk being High Priestess and Toriel comes and welcomes ger back and AaAaAaAa- i wanna cry

- 'And with as much grace and ceremony as if the old house was a marble palace, the boss monster went inside...'

Chapter 14

- 'She [Alphys] allowed him to pluck the cobalt sphere from her grasp and skittered away with a speed that hurt his feelings a little.' Awww Sans-

- '...what would happen if he found out Sans had fallen for her [Frisk] like a ton of bricks?' y e s

- Sans mentioning Toriel to distract Asgore

- '... the King set the cup and saucer down so hard that it sloshed all over the table. Sans had never seen him spill his tea before.' nice detail

- ' “What else have you s-seen her do that m-most humans can’t?”

“Be a good person" '

- 'Sans nodded as calmly as he could, clamping his jaws shut as the truth spell urged him to say something about wanting to give her a lot more magic on purpose.' PFFFFT-

- Alphys immediately realising Sans is in love with Frisk

- 'When he failed to immediately deny it, the scientist’s face nearly split in triumphant glee.'

- Sans losing LV when he is around Frisk <3

- 'He didn’t bother accusing her of blackmail: it was blackmail.'

- Frisk sidetracking and talking to Toriel and Undyne about her personal life

- ' She also planned to never ask Toriel whether she thought a run-of-the-mill contraceptive would be sufficient against a boss monster’s magic.'

- 'Frisk couldn’t help grinning. “Did you burn it down, or wreck it?”

“It was a training exercise that got too awesome,” the Captain said proudly. “I regret nothing!" '

- Frisk wanting to say she doesn't want to stay far from Sans-

- 'Frisk was too tired to sleep.'

- Frisk not being able to sleep without Sans there AAAAAAAAAAA- notmyfavfanfictropeever

- 'Just for fun, Frisk tried saying it to herself: I gave him homework to do before he can have sex with me. It...didn't sound better in her head.'

- Sans coming to see her and misreading her reaction aaaa-

- Them both agreeing to a room-bed idea

- ' "I'd be okay, 'cept ya went an' got me used to eatin' every day, so..."

"I'm not sorry." ' <3

- Them being all cuddly n stuff awawawww

- 'That was the second time he'd called her that [sweetheart]. Frisk's heart was in her throat. There was no wine or home-ground advantage here; she had to jump right in.'

- ' "I mean, what happens if we do it 'n I don't kill ya? Then what?"

It was a reasonable question, and she'd just been telling herself they needed to talk about it. Now that she had to answer, though, her mind was a roaring blank. "...Then...that would be...good?" ' pfffft yes-

- Frisk snapping at him

- ' "Here's a better question: are you really that insecure? Do you honestly believe that the only reason anyone could ever love you was because they had to?!" ' YES, QUEEN, TELL HIM!!!

- Sans' reaction to her confession, hehehehhe

- Sans roaring when she asks if she should find someone else

- ' "I'm not doing any of this because a fortune told me to. It just helped me figure out how to get what I already wanted." ' Y E S

- Frisk timidly asking Sans to say something <3 so cute

- SANS IS SO INSECURE HHHHHHHH

- 'His hand slipped away. Her chest hurt so much that she wanted to cry again.' hhhhng-

- '...He hadn't gotten up yet. Could he tell that she didn't mean the calm, logical things she'd said, and how much she wanted him to stay?' HHHHHHNG----- i love this moment

- Frisk realising Sans shrunk by touching him

- hand kiss

- everything about the scene. yes. yes. yes. my shipping heart is soaring, every damn time

- ' "You've done so much for me and for the other monsters—would it kill you to do something for your sake?"

A long pause, ending on a shaky sigh. "Can I start with yer sake, maybe work up to mine?" ' AHHHHHH

- kiss kiss fall in love~

- Sans asking if she really meant she'd go find someone else- aaa-

- 'The moment her mouth was free, she emitted a steady stream of "Waitwaitwaitwait!"s that brought him up short.'

- ' "...That's why the answer is 'no' for at least four or five more days, and then there's Asgore and destiny blah blah. Understood?" '

- Sans asking again if she wants him to leave for forever

- Sans telling her ofc he still likes her despite her telling him to wait dhjsvshss those two are such dorks istg

- 'Now that the mood was officially gone, her neck was starting to feel distinctly chewed-upon-'

- Frisk's heart dropping for a second when she thought Sans gonna leave aaaaa-

- Undyne's reaction to Frisk's bitemarks and her slow realisation

- Undyne's reaction to Frisk and Sans >:3

Chapter 15

- Mettaton being an automaton

- Kris launching to the stage to try and spare Mettaton embarrassment

- Sans being confused about what happened when he woke up

- 'Then he blinked, grabbed a handful of his shirt, and jammed it into his nasal bone, inhaling so deeply that he almost sucked the material up into his skull.'

- Sans thinking he can never eat another apple again without feeling twitchy

- Sans wanting real bad to see Frisk again awawawww

- 'The giant skeleton stared at the ceiling, fighting the urge to rub his face in his shirt like a damn cat.' y es 

- Sans being content he is home with his brother and Frisk :')

- 'Then, picking up at a random point where his mind had left off, he wondered whether his body felt as awful to Frisk as hers felt good to him. Was it like making out with a coat rack?' pffft-

- Papyrus' note. I love Papyrus

- Undyne and Papyrus arguing in the letter skbsjebsvs dorks

- 'Sans obediently picked up a fork, then realized no one was around, folded the stack in half, and shoved it down his throat.'

- Sans thinking back to the fork incident

- 'He could just wait a few more minutes for his magic to regenerate. It wasn't like he'd die if he didn't see her right this second. Right?

He glanced at the fork again.

A moment later, he was closing the front door behind him, shuffling through the snow with his hands in his pockets.' MY HEART I CANNOT EVEN-  AAAAAAA weak weak i am so weak for this

- Ice Wolf almost throwing Frisk's boxes into water for transportation

- Papyrus still having doubts about Sans really being back pffft

- Papyrus insisting that Sans stays in line

- 'And just like that, for one second, Sans was so irritated that he wanted to pick his brother up by the spine and toss him aside. It took far too long to remind himself that he loved Papyrus more than life itself, his brother was just being himself, and Sans shouldn't pick him up by the friggin' spine!'

- 'But someone finally moved aside, and his SOUL leapt like an excited little dog at the sight of its favorite human.' awwww

- 'Then he looked at Frisk, who was smiling at him, and he immediately forgot what he was mad about. He tried to think of something witty: "Uh." Shuffle. "Hi." ' pffft sans <3

- Everybody, especially Undyne, ganging up on Sans while he pathetically tries to deny he isn't madly in love with Frisk

- The way Sans loses track of his thoughts and starts thinking about Frisk, my shipping heart melts every time, he is such a doofus-

- Frisk teasing Sans with the fork lmao-

- SANS SAYING FRISK SNORES LMFAO-

- Frisk and Gerson pretend-flirting

- Sans being surprised at what Gerson told him about boss monsters while Undyne and Frisk are shocked in the background

- ' "Poor Toriel wouldn't look me in the eye for a month afterwards!" ' pffft-

- Gerson is a very cool dude. he’s kinda like Gaster but you are 100% sure he is good

- Papyrus calling Frisk 'KRISK'

- mudslide

- Papyrus and Undyne talking about ring puzzle ksbsjshsj i love them

- Toriel thanking Frisk for being a good friend to Sans awww

- ' "Who knows? Maybe he found a lady friend," Undyne said absently, flicking the metal discs to test their sturdiness.

"That's not a nice thing to say, Undyne," Toriel reproved her.

For half an irate second, Frisk thought Toriel was angry on her behalf.' pffft-

- Papyrus' reaction to Frisk buying him pasta <3

- ' "Hey, would you look at that, Pap! You haven't made spaghetti in years! What have you done?" Undyne said through gritted teeth, ending with a glare at Frisk.' PFFFT

- ' "Do you know where Sans is?" demanded Frisk, who was still recovering from the shock of going to take out the garbage and encountering Mettaton instead.'

- Sans getting drunk and forgetting how to teleport home and going all the way to Hotland from Grillby's-

- Sans pawning sewing the demon child on mudslides

- 'Shit! Where was Alphys? Where was Frisk?!

...Right. She was in Snowdin. Okay.

Where was Snowdin?!'

- 'No, better stay where he was for now, safe in his room, listening to them have fun as Undyne brought the presents in, and not feeling jealous or lonely at all.' Sans, the ten foot tsundere

- 'Mettaton went first, because he was Mettaton.'

- Frisk's self sacrifice to save Mettaton's silk from spaghetti

- ' "COME DOWNSTAIRS AND SAY HELLO TO OUR GUESTS. AND SPAGHETTI!! THE GREATEST GUEST OF ALL!!" '

- Frisk trolling Sans about his 'lump' comment earlier oh my god-

- '..and it occurred to him much later that if she’d come downstairs wearing something really fancy or weird, he’d have been fine. But she wasn’t, and he wasn’t.'

- Papyrus having spare set of Sans' clothes 

- Sans feeling nostalgic about his old clothing

- Sans slowly melting after seeing Frisk's legs

- Everyone's awkward reaction to Sans' obvious foot fetish LMAO especially Alphys

- Toriel being ready to perform queen duties in place of Asgore

- Asgore slamming door in Toriel's face holy shit

- The way Sans tells Toriel he is in love with the human AHHHHHHHHHH

Chapter 16

- Papyrus saying he doesn't deserve pie aaaaa-

- Asriel. I love him :<

- 'She’d be better off going straight to Asgore and announcing that she and Sans were planning to create the world’s first human-monster hybrid! She might as well, the way Sans was behaving…'

- Frisk wanting to be taken care of for at least one day

- Asriel's tail

- Alphys being glad Undyne is doing her 'evil laugh' awwww <3

- 'That was Frisk’s cue to say that she didn’t need anything, being here with everyone was gift enough…but she didn’t, because it would be fun to go shopping, dang it.' You go, queen!

- All the gift-exchanging

- Frisk mixing up the fact that it's Undyne who can play music and not Toriel

- 'She gave her toothiest grin. “So, basically, you and Sans are—”

“Perfect,” Toriel said briskly, striding back into the living room and setting down a huge stack of linens.' they are, they are

- Frisk finally reflecting on all those times Sans stared at her funny/didn't leave her >:3

- Frisk being a bit down while thinking that maybe Sans only likes her because his soul tells him she is his 'only option'

- Alphys saying she expected humans to have more imagination when Frisk said everybody discarded possibility of anything between her and Sans just because he is a skeleton LMAO

- Undyne saying she'd conceive her and Alphys' kid in the garbage dump

- Girls gossiping at their slumber party

- Frisk being salty she has to hide her and Sans' relationship at all

- Dream: The Complete Trilogy

- ' “That’s cheating,” she whispered furiously.

Sans chuckled. “not if i’m doin’ it with my wife.” '

- science of alarm clocks reached Frisk's dreams

- Sans' instincts to take Frisk back with him to his home

- 'His bullshitting reflex saved him'

- 'And so it was that Sans found himself committed to the biggest solo grocery run imaginable, all because of a sex dream.'

- 'Papyrus was two-thirds ecstatic and one-third fretful.'

- Frisk waking up and for a second confusing her dream-life with her real one

- Frisk thinking Sans might be avoiding her because of their dream but he wants the absolute opposite-

- How TENSE conversation with Toriel is

- ' Undyne looked up solemnly. “Frisk, I just wanted to saaaHAHAHAHAHA!” '

- Imagining that conversation back now knowing what Frisk has on her face

- 'SHARKY WUZ HERE' <3 <3 <3

- All ladies being dorks

- The sheer size of denial of Toriel not even imagining Sans could've meant Frisk

- Sans thinking about Frisk on a loop

- 'All these stupid, tiny, essential details—was this what Frisk’s life was like, running around arranging crap for everyone? No wonder she was so damn tired all the time! It was like being pinched to death!'

- Sans's reaction to hearing about miscegenation. 'fucking' crime

- Sans and Frisk FINALLY having a chance to have calm conversation with just the two of them and its immediately the cutest thing ever <3

- How excited Frisk is when she tells him about her day

- Frisk needing to prepare herself for Sans' human form because its not the same

- Sans wondering if they can smush in the dream without danger

- ' “So, no offense, sweetheart, but…why are we talkin’ right now instead of makin’ out?”

“Because Undyne saw what I did to her face, and she’s hitting me with a p—” '

- Asriel apologizing D:

Chapter 17

- Kris wondering why humans called Underground a mudhole while it is so pretty

- 'tearful reunion'. Chara's such a drama queen

- How believable of a scumbag Chara is. She is absolutely terrible but sadly in the realistic way you can imagine person being

- Asgore seeing her death glare towards Frisk

- '  “IS SOMEONE THERE? SOMEONE WITH EXTREMELY BAD TASTE?” ' Pfffft-

- whoopie cussion. Never gets old

- skelebrother's banter

- Sans musing how Frisk's bed spoiled him for life

- Sans messing with a couple in another room pffft

- 'There wasn’t much to do as he ate but people-watch, which would have been kind of neat if the people in question weren’t humans.'

- Sans comparing other human ladies to Frisk

- 'It made him wonder yet again if Frisk’s SOUL was the real reason he’d been so drawn to her; the first time he’d seen it, he was scared shitless, and then he wanted to rip it out for strictly non-romantic purposes.' PFFFFFFFT-

- Sans being content with reason he fell in love with Frisk because she's Frisk <3

- 'This street seemed much dingier, with fewer people around; it smelled weird, too, like horse pee and desperation.'

- Sans being happy about no witnesses around

- Sans unwillingly comparing the goons that attacked him and back when Frisk first trapped him in the barrier

- 'Now Sans could see Frisk snarling up at him in all her tiny, furious glory.'

- Sans ignoring Gaster for a good while because he thought he only imagined his voice pffft

- ' “Ya gonna tell me why you’re here, or what?”

“What.” '

- Sans being weirded out by Gaster's mind magic

- 'Meanwhile, Sans was not that surprised to find out there was a formal guild for murderers. Humans were such fucking scumbags.'

- Gaster asking what miscegenation is

- 'He heard the familiar sound of someone ignoring a pun'

- Sans enjoying the fact that Gaster is salty cuz Sans and Frisk got up and left

- Gaster wanting Sans to pick a pseudonym for his human form

- 'Why did human bodies use the same damn tube for breathing and eating?'

- Gaster's magical orb thingies

- Gaster playing Cheshire cat

- Gaster freaking murdering the poachers like it's nothing and then vanishing, like, god damn-

- Aaaasgooooooreeeee

- Undyne shutting Sans up about Frisk before he even asks

- Undyne's reaction to Sans' puns

- how menacing freaking Chara is

- Sans not even thinking about teleporting when he hears Frisk's voice outside

- bubbles

- musical bubbles

- 'Undyne coordinated the assault, directing her troops to surround the enemy and attack as a unit, ignoring Papyrus’ protests of being muuuurdered and that she could not have his pirate-ship bed once he was dust, because for the hundredth time even if she did have an eyepatch that did not mean she deserved to be a pirate more than him.' this is absolutely hilarious

- '...and gray boots that reminded him of the fact that she had feet.'

- Sans getting extra flustered about Frisk's choker

- Sans proudly telling Toriel how responsible Frisk is and how much she did and keeps doing

- Undyne jumping straight to balcony to help Frisk

- Sans being jealous of Frisk being mothered

- Sans making same joke Frisk made

- Frisk, Sans and Tori killing themselves with puns

- People being surprise how gentle Sans unwrapped his gift

- Frisk's gift to Sans

- Sans' reaction, both inside and outside. Dork.

- Papyrus' comment. I love Papyrus

- Everyone trolling Sans for his piss pour reaction

- 'The priestess frowned at him. He hated it when she did that, especially when he deserved it.'

- Toriel and Sans arguing

- Poor Tori. As much as I disagree with some of her points of view, she went through so much grief and she only wants what's best, or at least believes in that

- ' “Uh…” Sans ducked his head, scuffing his slipper over the burned floor tiles. “Tell you the truth, she’s kinda the one courtin’ me.”

“Sans!” the goat monster scolded him. “You’ve found a woman with enough magic, strength of mind, and good taste to fall in love with you, and you’re letting her do all the work?”

The skeleton scratched his neck vertebrae. “…Yeah?” '

- Tori and Sans parting like good old friends they are

Chapter 18

- this is the chapter where honky-ponky-hanki-panki happens

- the fact how much talk of 'the incident' that happens in this chapter have been before this chapter got released, like, the hype

- spider named Alphonse

- Kris so willing to help he lets a thousand of spiders hitch a ride, like, even if you aren't afraid of spiders, that's, just... damn

- 'For someone without any lips, the monster could slurp her tea quite loudly.'

- muffet knew and grillby knew

- Frisk being irritated at her younger self for being 'racist' towards spiders

- 'he took one look, bowed so deeply that he almost fell over, and walked ahead of them to harass the seated monsters out of their way.'

- 'Mettaton had gotten up to greet Toriel, and was bowing her into his seat; Sans was impressed with his manners until the automaton turned and shooed Alphys out of her chair so he could take it.'

- Sans absolutely melting in this chapter over Frisk

- Sans epicly failing at conversation

- 'Sans nodded his thanks to Undyne; she stared at him, then drew her thumb across her throat to indicate that he was dead. He shrugged, agreeing that that was fair.'

- Sans being jealous that Undyne can swing her arm around Alphys

- Frisk's questions about mudslide

- 'The skeleton tried to hide his sudden jubilation. She was telling him she’d have her own room, which meant some damn privacy at last! He’d have a chance to tell her things and apologize for being stupid about the chessboard, and then…choker, and—'

- Mettaton calling Sans out on his sock fetish-

- Sans' gigantic freudian slip. The magnitude of it. Just.... wow

- Sans' instincts telling him to back off Frisk in fear, no matter how much he loves her

- the TWIST. Not farfetched but so so good

- The whole argument scene, man. It feels like every word character says is needles and you gotta breath them in. More terrifying with each passing second

- ' “Food, presents, bubbles—I already gave you everything I have. If you don’t want me anymore, then…” ' way to tear my heart right outta my chest

- Sans reaching out to Frisk despite frying his hand aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

- 'Sans. Her chest gave a happy little shiver as she saw him looking down at her. He was standing nearby, giving her a strained smile and…and touching—the barrier—' HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

- Frisk being so horrified with herself she didn't want Sans near her but him embrassing her I can't I can't-

- The flashbacks, all worrying, especially after such tense scene

- Frisk's shame of her actions and her fears of being rejected D':

- Sans removing Frisk's earrings so she can sleep peacefully

- Frisk breaking because of that fact QoQ my heartu-

- Sans comforting Frisk QwQ you can gather from everything i said already buy i love their relationship so much

- 'It was important to explain to him that nothing was fine and it was absolutely correct for her to be crying, but she was crying too hard to get the words out.'

- 'The boss monster made a sound deep in his chest, and she answered him with one that made him squeeze her tighter.' <3

- Them exchanging their feelings via magic

- 'He didn’t think she was worthless, or dangerous, or that she needed to do a single thing to deserve forgiveness. His hand didn’t even hurt anymore. …Much.

Even if it did, he still loved her.' here goes my heart-

- Frisk immediately asking Sans to show his hand

- '  “It ain’t that bad. Looks kinda like a frowny face. See?” '

- Sans saying he can still move his fingers and two fused fingers don't count

- Frisk's speel how she doesn't want to go

- ' “Any questions?”

Frisk thought about it as she sniffled. “Yes. Why couldn’t you have been this sweet when I gave you the stupid chessboard?” ' pffft, always makes me smile

- Them bantering about the chess board

- 'How could he make her want to hug and slap him so badly?'

- 'There was food, and she was starving, but he was right here, too; she didn’t know which she wanted more at the moment.' i approve

- Frisk repeatedly coming onto Sans

- The puns

- Sans slipping out the l-word <3

- Frisk going at it in Sans' coat

- Frisk intentionally leaving bathroom door open and purposefully humming Sans' favorite song lol such a tease~

- Frisk immediately throwing envelope aside in favour of more fun things

- Their conversation and Frisk's reassurance <3

- honk-ponk-hank-pank

- the moment where sans listens to her heart beat hhhhh im weak for those

- 'Sans showed no signs of life besides his breathing for several minutes. She was starting to worry a little when he moved his head enough to say, “M’rm.”

The young woman blinked. “Beg pardon?” '

- 'Sans rose up on his elbow and shakily leaned in to lick her neck again.'

Chapter 19

- Sans being on edge about Kris and then immediately going to 'protect this kid at all costs'

- 'some of the monsters were literally made of teeth, but the kid never even broke a sweat!'

- 'When the ferry pulled up to the dock, he watched in amusement as the child bounded off and promptly faceplanted in the snow.'

- 'given the choice between “magical spy” or “nice kid,” Sans was willing to believe that Pap had found a friend after all.'

- ' "PLEASE COME BACK TOMORROW FOR MORE FRIENDSHIP!” '

- Sans being offended that out of all monsters Kris met he might be afraid of him

- 'Son of a— “gotcha,” the skeleton muttered.'

- Sans being uncomfortable at seeing how much joy the prospect of food brings Kris

- Sans being so mad and just wanting to go back to Frisk he purposefully ignored the information that Asriel RETURNED FROM THE DEAD  to give him

- Sans calling Frisk his wife :')

- Sans making a damn ghost blush

- 'Besides, if Frisk ever found out he’d ditched Asriel because he was too horny to pay attention, she’d snap his head off and drop-kick it into the river.'

- 'Though he stood tall and noble in the doorway, cerulean light outlining his otherwordly form, Asriel was squirming like an embarrassed teenager'

- Sans feeling more and more protective even when he heard Frisk did the barrier thing on purpose and it wasn't demon kid influence

- 'She’d just told him that she’d rather have his child than be the literal Queen, then wanted to consummate their relationship, and damn, had they ever…but the accident was the biggest thing on her mind now? It kind of stung to think she’d moved on that quickly.' oh my god Sans-

- Asriel desperate warnings. He just wants things to work out...

- Asriel congratulating them :)

- 'His wife. He had called her that, hadn’t he?' i l i v e for this segment

- Sans thinking about everything and instantly stopping when he spots Frisk and starts to think of nothing but Frisk-

- 'Regrettably, Frisk had put clothes back on'

- Just how enamored Sans is. I love it

- 'Sans knew distantly that he wasn’t supposed to spend the entire morning watching his mate do absolutely nothing, but it wasn’t his fault that every non-thing she did was amazing.'

- 'Was she okay? Could he kill something to make it better?'

- This whole morning scene

- Frisk calming him with a song and Sans' adorable sloppy way of saying it wasn't necessary

- Sans being salty how faster she checked off smex off her to do list pftt

- Sans thinking back to their night and his feels-

- Sans bemused by her vague to do list

- Frisk calling him 'love' and him embrassing her and popping the question and I can't I love this so much i love this story so much

Chapter 20

- God knows what kind of friend Mathilda is but I love that she told Frisk just how she should treat the proposal she got and that’s not how courting should be. That's a good friend move

- Frisk feeling giddy someone proposed to her because its her first somewhat-romantic thing

- Frisk being excited that in the future she can pick exactly who she wants to marry

- Frisk being salty all proposal letters are similar by-the-book letters

- the drinking games girls invented

- Frisk reflecting on all of the proposals she ever got and Sans' words

- 'She couldn’t believe he was stupid enough to even ask.

Didn’t he realize she’d already picked him?' AHHHHHHHHH always makes me feel soooo happy 

- Sans realising what he did and acting like a deer in the highlights

- Sans panicking when she pulled away a tiniest bit aaaa-

- 'The skeleton sounded cranky and noncommittal, but his thumb was unconsciously stroking the back of her hand, which was very distracting.'

- Frisk planniiing their futuuure hoouuuuse

- Sans in disbelief about her accepting him as her husband- his voice shaking- hhhhhHHHH everything about this moment

- Frisk amusing herself just how big he is in comparison to her

- Frisk wanting to bone him again as well~

- Sans losing it for a second when thinking about the damage he did

- ' “Don’t do that again,” he muttered, angry and tender.'

- ' “All right. From now on, I’ll try to communicate instead of getting carried away. I promise.”

The boss monster gave a melancholy sigh. “An’ I’ll do my best not to go at ya like I’m tenderizin’ meat.” '

- Them exchanging thoughts back and forth through the connection

- Sans shaming her for the 'smells' she left on his coat

- The revelation that Frisk was imagining them going at it with Sans not resizing his full body and only his new bone-

- ' "That seemed like the most important part,” she mumbled.'

- Sans calling it 'winky'

- Frisk's reaction to him calling it that

- 'It was no good: she couldn’t talk anymore. And when she started to recover, she made the mistake of glancing up at Sans, who also seemed to have calmed down…till he raised his hand and wiggled his little finger at her.' god i love this moment xD

- 'Grandiose declarations of love and defiance of societal conventions aside, she had to figure out what to actually say to everyone.'

- Sans hiding Frisk in his coat

- ' "What did I tell ya? Big damn fight over who’s the most sorry. Eh? Eh?”

“Yes, dear,” Frisk said tartly, enjoying his now-red face.'

- Pap and Undyne's reaction to Frisk and Sans' revelation. Their joy, just, all of it

- 'She [Undyne] made as if to give Sans a congratulatory punch in the ribs, thought better of it, and seized Papyrus instead in a gleeful headlock.'

- ' "Pfft! Don’t be such a human!” The Royal Guard Captain released Papyrus and made a show of sniffing her hands. “See? I just touched you for a second, and it’s all over me now! I’ve gotta take a bath later!” '

- The way Sans and Frisk exchange looks when they both realize Frisk is knocked up. I love this moment. Just plain 'huh'

- Frisk's firmness when she says she wants a boy

- ' “There’s nothing wrong with looking like a monster,” she rebuked him. “Some of us like skeletons, remember?” ' First of all, yes, second of all, you don't even begin to imagine how many of us like skeletons-

- Undyne calling out Toriel

- The tender moment Frisk and Sans exchange before going in. Hhhhhh ITS SO GOOD-

- my comment hitting Dale like a brick

Chapter 21

- 'Wherever they were, it smelled like important humans'

- 'This time, the Queen snorted so loudly that the cluster of monsters and humans looked askance; Asriel rolled his eyes and muttered something about being sick of puns already.'

- "My own dust and magic disrespecting me in front of our guests-" is a very weird sounding saying but i find it amusing

- ' "Say good night, Sans.”

“good night, sans,” he said promptly.'

- 'Even in a fairy tale, she didn’t matter.' this line hurts-

- Frisk being confused after Toriel kissing her and her misreading it as overstep of the boundaries nuuuu-

-  Sans' comment about having no pie

- Sans letting Frisk arrange herself against him and his challenging glare <3

- The fact that Sans acts like a cat this entire chapter. Lovesick fool. I love him.

- Toriel laughing at her stupidity and the way that it only makes Frisk angrier

- The fact that Sans is cuddling a bomb

- Frisk calming down because she worries about Sans

- Papyrus acting like he is in school jdvsjsvsuw

- Sans purring

- PAPYRUS SAYING HE'D NEVER BETRAY HIS FAMILY AAAAAAAA

- ' "BUT NO! YOU CALLED ME A RACIST! THE GREAT PAPYRUS DEMANDS EMOTIONAL RECOMPENSE!” '

- Sans gesturing at Frisk's boobs to show he is not to blame

- Frisk apologizing on Sans' behalf

- 'These were her friends, her Sans, Toriel…'

- Frisk being sad Chara denied her even her birthday day

- 'Frisk stopped to work some moisture back into her mouth, noting with melancholy amusement that Papyrus and Undyne were leaning over the table, almost literally hanging on every word.'

- Frisk casually calling Sans 'dear'

- The fact the King timed his visit with birth of his child so he wouldn't need to see Asgore

- Sans nestling Frisk

- The fact how much there's to read and we are only this deep into the story. So many more mysteries and problems to solve, and I can't wait to see it all

And that’s… That’s what I love. With all of my heart.

Thank you for writing this wonderful work, thank you for sharing it, and thank you for being an amazing friend 💖✨ Happy birthday, Ikky!

[starshapedkookie]

Southpaw

pairing: jungkook x female reader (ft. a little sprinkle of namjoon)

genre: childhood friends to lovers, boxer jungkook, college/frat au

includes: swearing, angst, mentions of blood and violence, pining, smut (public/private, unprotected sex, hair pulling, jungkook is big guys, duh), alcohol, smoking weed, jungkook seems like an asshole but he’s really not, OC having a crisis every two seconds, some fluff here and there as well, also this takes place over many months just saying if time gets confusing

premise: Knowing Jeon Jungkook for the better part of your life, you thought you knew everything about him. Well, that was before you two disappeared from each other’s lives at least. When Jungkook suddenly finds himself buying you a coffee to rekindle your friendship, it leads to much more than you bargained for.

word count: 30k (she’s a monster sorry guys) 

quick note: this is my first story back in a year(?) give or take some weeks!! kind of nervous to post & not sure if my writing has declined in anyway but nonetheless here is the beast that has been sitting on my computer since April 2019!! quick disclaimer I don’t know much about boxing so if I get stuff wrong - I apologize!! please enjoy & let me know what you think ❤️happy 7 years BTS!

recommended songs for reading: pray (JRY, RuthAnne), mushroom chocolate (6lack, quin), hallucinate (dua lipa), wus good/curious (partynextdoor)

_____

The evening was slow—after all, it was only a Wednesday. You had just finished serving a table of two—a young man and young woman—presumably on a midweek date. You didn’t recognize either of them which wasn’t surprising considering the campus grossed about 20,000 people. You began to wipe down tables out of boredom, glancing at the clock every two minutes hoping it would jump to when your shift was over in forty-five minutes. Thankfully, you didn’t have much work to do when you got home, but you are wishing to get in bed before 10:30 to get a full eight hours of sleep for your lectures tomorrow—something you had not had in about two months. Most days, like today, you were running on five hours of sleep and five cups of coffee. It wasn’t healthy, you knew that much, but it’s how you had to live your life. Your schedule was too demanding to hit the snooze button multiple times. You had shit to do—and getting your degree was the top priority.

“Y/N,” your coworker, Mark, called your name from behind of the counter.

“Yeah?” You respond.

“Will you come help me clean this out?” He asks you and you nod diligently.

“Of course,” you say, dropping your current task of wiping already clean tables. Mark was the one student that worked here you could stand to be around. He was very much like you in the sense that school came before anything—he too was on a full academic scholarship. He worked here before you, but he made you feel the most comfortable out of everyone. You would consider him a close friend at this point.

The espresso machine was a pain in the ass to clean and did call for two people most of the time. Besides, you would rather smell the remnants of coffee beans than the harsh chemicals of bleach gliding across a table.

“You have much work to do after your shift?” He asks you.

“No, thank god,” you shake your head, “I got most of my shit done between my classes today. You?”

“I have to write a ten page paper by midnight,” he sighs, “And guess how many pages I have started.”

You give him a short glance, “I’m gonna take a wild guess and say zero.”

“Damn right,” he smiles. A short silence between you two ensues before he speaks again, “Oh! Did I tell you I’m graduating early?”

“What? Really?” You look at him and an excited grin plays on his face. “When?”

“Yeah, I spoke to my advisor this afternoon and turns out, the classes I’m taking this semester is all I need for my degree,” he speaks with a relieved tone.

“Wow, that’s awesome,” you say genuinely, “I wish that was me,” you give out a small chuckle.

“I’m just glad I don’t have to keep stressing over this hell-hole,” he laughs, “The sooner I get out of here, the better.”

“I feel you on that,” you say, “I’m proud of you nonetheless, you’ve worked your ass off dealing with this scholarship.”

He gives you a small smile in return but it’s broken by the bell ringing from the door, signaling a new customer has decided to come in. Your eyes break from Mark’s and glance over to the door, your head doing a double take.

Your mouth goes dry when you see them—more specifically—him. 

No, it wasn’t the first time you’ve seen him, but you couldn’t remember the last time you had seen him outside of a frat party on the weekends. And truly, it was your first time getting a good look at him in awhile. You felt nervous—though you had no reason to be nervous. You had known him since long before your days as university students, but since you weren’t plastered in this scenario, looking at him seemed more like a chore than ever.

“You want me to get their table?” Mark asks you and you look back at him.

“No, I got it,” you say, throwing down the cleaning cloth, wiping your hands on your apron.

The small group of boys are too busy in their own conversation to see you approaching them. You clear your throat before grabbing some menus off of the podium.

“Hey guys, welcome,” your voice breaks their conversation. The three men your age turn to you all at once and a small smile erupts from one of them.

“Y/N? I didn’t know you worked here?” Taehyung—another person you knew all too well—smiles and speaks brightly

“Yup,” you say simply, “Just been here a little over a month,” you explain pressing the best smile you can muster up. “C’mon, I’ll get you seated and get your order in.”

You lead them towards the back of the small restaurant, seating them in a booth. As they follow you from behind, you can feel their eyes burning into your back and you feel like screaming at the top of your lungs. They sit down and you pass out the menus.

“What would you guys like to drink?” You ask, putting a hand on your hip.

“I’ll take a coke,” Hobi—you remember his name easily as you see him around in a few of your classes.

“Coke as well,” Taehyung says.

“Jungkook?” His name rolls off your tongue and it sounds foreign. You couldn’t remember the last time you had said it, let alone to his face. His brown eyes meet yours and he clears his throat.

“I’ll just take a water,” he finally speaks, his gaze breaking just as fast as it met yours.

“I’ll get those right out,” a grimace spreads on your face and you turn on your heels to fulfill their drink orders. You hadn’t expected the encounter to be so awkward and have so much tension—but what did you expect?

Your relationship with Jeon Jungkook was a strange one to say the least. You had known him longer than anyone you associated with—you meet each other at the tender age of eight in elementary school. You remember that day so vividly.

You had been assigned a seat right beside of him the first day of school. He kept his eyes away from you. Being the energetic child you were, you were expecting him to introduce himself but—he never did. It actually took being in school a whole week to get him to talk to you. You nudged his arm with your elbow and his eyes meet yours for the first time. You smiled at him, “I like your shirt,” to which he responded a small, “Thank you.��� He picked at his nails and you smiled at him again, “I’m Y/N,” though he would already know that sitting beside of you. “I’m Jungkook,” he spoke again with a shy smile. That day would change both of your lives—all thanks to you and your mouth that couldn’t shut the hell up.

Four years later, at the age of twelve, Jungkook was your best friend. For four years, he was the one person you had came to all about your problems—he as well. The two of you would complain equally about school, he would complain about his older brother picking on him, you would complain about your younger sister bothering you nonstop—the two of you were more alike in more ways than you could imagine. Despite getting older and more different, you and Jungkook shared the same friend group. You had met a girl named Kim Jennie during a pre-algebra class and Jungkook had met a lively kid named Kim Taehyung—no they weren’t related but you often joked about it. It was nice having another close friend instead of just having Jungkook—especially a girl. You and Jennie had more in common than you and Jungkook and Jungkook and Taehyung and more in common than you two. But—the four of you clicked and you spent nearly everyday with each other.

At sixteen, a lot of stuff had changed. Yes, you, Jungkook, Taehyung, and Jennie had all remained best friends, but high school was definitely not the same as middle school. You and Jennie joined the tennis team, Jungkook and Taehyung joined the soccer team—Jungkook also joining the baseball team—which kept the four of you more separated than you would have liked. The four of you all sat together at lunch each day, but as each day passed, something felt different with Jungkook. And then, halfway through your second year of high school, the news broke that Jungkook had a girlfriend—a cute girl named Yuna—who was actually older than him by a year. You felt indifferent about it. He didn’t speak to you as much as he used to and he would ditch you, Jennie and Taehyung to hang out with her. It didn’t bother Jennie or Taehyung as much as it bothered you—but then again—you had known him since you were eight and it felt weird not being Jungkook’s number one girl. You hated to say it—but you were jealous and you had no idea why.

Two years had passed, the four of you all eighteen and fully legal now. It was the end of your last year of high school and you could not be more ready to leave. Growing up through high school together, the thought of all of you going to the same university was a dream. The four of you were excited to move on to new things. Jungkook and Yuna had broken up a few months prior, not being able to work through the distance of her being away at college. Jungkook soon started molding back to how he was before—texting you throughout the day, complaining, just being Jungkook—you were happy, happier than when he was with Yuna. It was May when you had received the news that you had been offered a full ride academic scholarship. You cried and cried tears of joy—finally busting your ass for so long had paid off. Jungkook was so proud of you, though he didn’t outwardly show it, the way he looked at you when you had told him was all you needed. Taehyung suggested it—a small celebration of sorts for you—a.k.a. the four of you getting absolutely plastered in his basement. Taehyung had managed to steal some alcohol from his parents and before the four of you knew it, beers had been downed and half a bottle of tequila had been drank. You were laying on the floor, giggling at everything Jennie did, dancing around the room with a bottle of vodka in hand. Jungkook had laid down beside of you, his eyes boring deep onto you. You crane your neck and give him a small smile, not realizing how little space was between the two of you. Jungkook supports himself on an elbow and it was then you had realized how handsome Jungkook had actually become. He spent so long away from you when he was dating Yuna, you didn’t realize how much he had grown into his features. That night—was singlehandedly the best and worst night of your life.

You had no idea what came over you, but you stood up throwing out your hand for Jungkook to take. He grabbed it with no hesitation, him towering over you as your chests touched and it was the closest the two of you had ever been. Jungkook had looked over to Jennie and Taehyung, still drinking and acting stupid, before grabbing your hand and pulling you into the closest bathroom and shutting the door. Your heart was beating out of your chest and you grip his shirt tightly. The next few moments are a blur—Jungkook kisses you—actually kisses you. He gripped your waist tightly, pushing you against the door. A small whine emitted from your lips as he pulled away and you couldn’t believe this was actually happening. He kissed you again, pulling your thigh up to rest in his hand. This was wrong—so wrong in so many ways. But neither of you stopped until a bang from the other side of the door broke the steamy makeup session.

That night changed everything between you two. Neither of you talked about it ever again. Despite being so drunk to the point of blacking out—you remember every detail—and so did he. That summer, you and Jungkook grew apart. And it was the worst thing to ever happen to you.

Now, at twenty-one, almost through university, you had interacted with Jungkook only a handful of times. You had studied together a few times your freshman year, but after your first year, you could count on your hands how many times you had seen each other. Most of the time, only seeing him at parties with other girls hanging off of him. It was painful to see. Even after 3 years of a drunken kiss in Taehyung’s bathroom, it hurt more than ever to see Jungkook with other girls—but at the same time you didn’t care. You had moved on and so did he. You two were now strangers but your life was good—you didn’t need him like you used to think. And he seemingly didn’t either.

“Y/N? Earth to Y/N?” Mark nudged you out of your obnoxiously long reverie and you jumped out of your skin. “Are you okay?” He asks.

You look down and realize that you haven’t taken the three of them their drinks, the ice now watering them down to shit.

“Y-yeah, I’m just tired is all,” you begin to pour out the drinks to get new ones before Mark stops you.

“Here, I’ll handle them,” he says, “You can go home early, it’s fine,” he smiles.

“A-are you sure?” You ask him, not wanting to leave him by himself.

“Yeah, it’s about closing time anyways. Just head out, I’ll close,” he nods with a smile and you can’t help but to throw you arms around him.

“Jesus, thank you. I promise I’ll make it up to you one day,” you tell him pulling away. You wash your hands quickly and throw off your apron.

“Get home safe,” he says and you tell him the same before grabbing your bag. You glance one last time to the table in the back and unexpectedly, Jungkook is staring at you. It makes your breathing hitch and you turn around on your heel quickly, not wanting to linger on his gaze longer than you need to.

_____

The weekend comes slower than you would like, but it’s Friday which means one thing—time to go out and get a much needed dose of social life. You and Jennie had found yourself at the Beta Tau Sigma crush party at their fraternity house that evening.

“Here you go, m’lady,” Namjoon comes into your peripheral vision, handing you a drink he specially made just for you.

“Thanks,” you give him a small smile. You take a huge gulp without hesitation—you trusted Namjoon with your life. Not only was he on academic scholarship too, he was also the president of this fraternity which meant if he didn’t act straight—he would face serious consequences. The mix of brains, being ridiculously handsome, and being in a fraternity was a recipe for disaster—he was your type—bonafide. You were his type too which is maybe why the two of you clicked so well, particularly in bed.

“My feet are fucking killing me,” you groan glancing down at your heels, rolling your eyes in the back of your head. Namjoon throws an arm over your shoulder, pulling you closer to him.

“At least you look hot as fuck,” he lips brush against your ear and you give him a glare.

“Isn’t hot kind of a degrading term in today’s world?” You press.

He narrows his eyes at you, “Fine—you look beautiful, cute, sexy—is that better?”

“Much better,” you nod playfully and Namjoon gets bold—pulling you even closer to him for a small peck on your lips. Eyes linger on the two of you but you couldn’t care. So many girls would love to be in your position and you feel lucky to have captivated Namjoon at least for now. Besides, he was good at fucking and you needed stress relief, as did he.

Unsuspecting, Jungkook waltzed his way into the room and he immediately stops when he sees the sight of you and his older brother Namjoon. He had heard rumors about the two of you, which he brushed off—you would never go after someone like Namjoon—oh who is he kidding? You and Namjoon are the same person and it kills Jungkook inwardly. The way Namjoon is nuzzled into your neck and the way you're smiling, giggling to every word he says, makes him feel uncomfortable. You looked so different at parties than how he saw you a few days ago at your work. Your legs looked sexy as fuck in your short black dress, your hair flowed down beautifully as opposed to being thrown up, the way red lipstick painted your mouth made him semi hard. Jesus, how after all this time, does he still think about you like this?

Your eyes break away from Namjoon and your smile falls when they meet a familiar set of doe eyes from across the room. Your breath hitches and Jungkook looks so handsome you want to die. His dark hair is slightly parted, his button up is undone at the top, and his legs fulfill his pants better than any guy here. He downs two shots, not breaking his gaze from you. You feel intimidated by his gaze and presence, despite having seen him at these things multiple times. The only difference is that now—he’s giving you some attention that you weren’t ready for.

Your gaze breaks away from each other when a group of loud boys—including Taehyung as well as Kai, another brother within the fraternity—come rushing into the room, hauling a keg in tow.

“Hyung! Come on,” Taehyung teases drunkenly as they set down the keg. There are many hyung’s for Taehyung in the room to not have specified which one he was talking about, until he deadpans on Namjoon. “Namjoon-hyung, come on!”

Namjoon begins to shake his head in protest, “I’d rather not,” he puts his hands up, keeping his distance from Taehyung, “Gotta keep an eye on this one tonight,” he nudges you and Taehyung’s eyes widen when her realizes it’s actually you, standing beside of his older brother.

“Y/N! Hey! What’s up! Didn’t expect to see you here, especially with this one again,” he narrows his eyes to Namjoon.

“Hi Taehyung,” you give him a small smile.

“Do a keg stand with me?” His eyes bulge out like a puppy dog and your own widens in shock at the question.

“Oh no,” you protest, looking up at Namjoon, “Last time I did a keg stand was freshman year and I said never again,” you explain to him. He gives you a pout.

“Fuck,” Taehyung says, “Well who is gonna do this shit with me then?” He sounds impatient and frustrated.

“Get Jungkook too—he’s been looking over in this direction for too long, give ‘em something to do,” Namjoon says and you look up at him. Did he notice Jungkook looking at you? Shit.

“Hell yeah, that little shit will definitely do it,” Taheyung smirks and yells for Jungkook to come over. Jungkook is preoccupied with a girl before Taehyung breaks his mojo from across the room. Jungkook sees Taehyung and you standing together and he furrows his eyebrows. He excuses himself from his pussy date for the night and saunters his way over towards your direction. You keep your eyes anywhere but Jungkook as he approaches you.

“Hey hyung,” Jungkook greets Namjoon, “Y/N,” he says slowly and you tense up. “What do you want Taehyung?” He spits out. He’s clearly buzzed as the attitude coming off of his tongue is stronger than usual.

“Do this fucking keg stand with me pussy,” Taehyung presses and Jungkook scrunches his nose.

“Fuck no,” Jungkook responds and Taehyung rolls his eyes.

“Come onnnn,” he drags out, begging his life long best friend to do it.

“Absolutely not, I’ve done it once and I said never again,” Jungkook says and your eyes nearly pop out of your head. Taehyung looks at you and Jungkook and shakes his head.

“I swear you two are the same person in a different body, it’s weird,” Taehyung says, “Your loss,” and Taehyung is soon leaving your side to find someone else to do his proposition.

Jungkook is left standing in front of you and Namjoon in an awkward silence.

“Don’t forget, you’re on clean up duty Jeon,” Namjoon raises an eyebrow at the younger man.

Jungkook groans, “Fine, whatever hyung,” his words run together as he gives you a final glance, “See you later Y/N,” is the last thing he says before he walks away to find the girl he was smooching up prior.

Namjoon gives you a weird look before you are furrowing eyebrows at him, “What?” You ask.

“What’s up with you two?” He asks motioning over to Jungkook.

“What do you mean?” You gulp down your drink hoping to hide the nervousness in your tone.

“Didn’t you two use to be like, best friends or some shit?” He asks.

You shrug your shoulders, “Yeah, when we were kids,” you chuckle.

Namjoon doesn’t seemed convinced, “I remember you two hanging out a lot during Jungkook's freshman year here, what happened?”

You shrug once again, “People grow apart,” you answer simply, not wanting to go in detail how one kiss basically ruined whatever your friendship was with him. Namjoon suddenly smiles, a dimple showing in his left cheek.

“You know he talks about how hot you are? Not all of the time, but I’ve heard it before,” he laughs and you freeze in your spot.

“What are you trying to prove by interrogating me Joon?” You say with some attitude. That was the least thing you expected to come out of his mouth.

“Hey, I’m just asking questions!” He defends himself, “I just didn’t know if something happened between you two—like you dated or something and shit got weird, I don’t know… just curious,” he chuckles a bit.

You eyes widen and you feel yourself getting warm, “Oh no, we never dated or…anything like that…” you trail off. “We’ve just grown apart, we’re too different now.”

Namjoon raises an eyebrow at you, “According to Taehyung you two are the same person.”

You glare at him, “Get me another drink,” you shove your cup into his hand and see laughs at you before sauntering away for a few seconds. He comes back with a full glass and you down half of it in a few seconds.

“Ew,” you scrunch up your nose. Nice, you think to yourself.

“Maybe you should talk to him? I’m sure having an old friend is nice every once in awhile,” Namjoon continues, clearly interested in your history with Jungkook.

“I have Jennie,” you answer, “Besides, conversation goes both ways. If he really wanted to be friends again, he could talk to me.” You knew that answer was stupid. Jungkook didn’t even speak to you when you were younger. You were the one that initiated the friendship, not him, and you knew that.

“Whatever you say space cowboy,” Namjoon draws out and you give him a glare.

“Did you just quote Kacey Musgraves?” You ask with a small smile on your face.

“Fuck yeah I did,” he smirks, “She’s a gay icon are you kidding me, I’m obsessed with her.”

“Joonie, you’re not even gay,” you laugh.

“So? I love anyone who supports gay rights! Don’t discriminate my quotes!” He defends himself and you cannot help but laugh at him.

“Let’s go dance,” you grab his hand and pull him out of the kitchen onto the main dance floor. Namjoon was perhaps one of the more attractive people you’ve met here in your four years. He oozed sex appeal and charisma, which is why anytime he wanted to hang out or take you to a party—you obliged. If it meant getting in his bed at the end of the night, wearing the heels was worth it.

Namjoon puts his hands on your waist and the two of you dance to music in the crowded dance floor. Namjoon grabs a bottle of liquor from one of his other brothers who you have never met before and the two of you share a nice gulp of the cheap—but very strong—vodka.

You haven’t had too much to drink but you know if you drink anymore, you will not make it back to your apartment. You push the bottle away from you and turn to face Namjoon. His brown eyes stare into yours with a glassy, tipsy appearance, and he smirks at you.

“What?” You question him as his grip gets tighter on you.

“I wasn’t lying when I said you looked hot,” he says smoothly and you roll your eyes yet again.

“How sweet,” you grumble, biting down on your bottom lip. Without a warning, he leans in and pecks your lips gently. The alcohol in your veins surges through you as you lean back in and close the gap. Even in your heels, you still have to crane your neck some to fully reach his stature. His hands grip your waist tightly and you tug at his light brown locks, pulling him impossibly closer to you.

He presses himself into you a little bit harder and you can tell he wants you, his hands gripping one at your waist and the other one in your hair. Everything around you goes blank was it only feels like the two of you in the room together. Unfortunately, your moment is ruined when someone bumps into the two of you, knocking you apart. Namjoon steadies you and he glares at the two girls that ran into you.

“You want to get out of here?” Namjoon says into your ear, his breath fanning over your neck sending chills down you body.

“Yeah,” you nod a little too excitedly and he grabs your hand pulling you away from everyone. Namjoon is taking you up the stairs before someone calls out your name.

“Y/N!” You turn around in Namjoon’s grip to find Jennie holding onto the railing of the stairs, swaying back and forth drunkenly.

“Oh god,” you mutter.

“Is she okay?” Namjoon asks as he follows behind you back down the stairs. No, in fact, she looks terrible.

“Jennie, what’s up? I thought you were with Suzy?” You ask her and her face scowls.

“I was, but then… he showed up,” Jennie says, knowing exactly who she is talking about, “And he brought another girl with him! Y/N, what’s wrong with me? Am I not good enough for him?” Jennie is rambling as tears began to flow down her face. You look at Namjoon as he assesses the situation.

“I-I can get an Uber for her, if you’d like?” Namjoon offers and you nod.

“Please?” You beg and Namjoon grabs your hand squeezing it reassuringly before walking away to get the car.

“Jennie, come on, snap out of it,” you tell her and she continues to sob in your arms.

“Y/N, I don’t get it, I love him and he says he loves me but he does this shit all of the time,” she rambles.

“I know, I know,” you try to calm her down, “Jennie your drunk right now, but you’re so much better than him. I know you don’t realize it, but you are—“

“He makes me feel like shit,” Jennie sighs and you cradle your friend. Unfortunately, Jennie doesn’t have the best taste in men and she finds herself stuck in toxic situations she can’t get out of. You wish you could help more then you do but when Jennie is drunk, it’s hard to get anything through to her.

“Come on, let’s go to the bathroom,” you pull her up before she starts fighting you.

“I don’t need to use the bathroom though,” she pouts.

“Well, you might, let’s go,” you manage to hold her up and get to a bathroom in a hallway that isn’t too crowded. You reach for the handle only to be disappointed that it’s locked. Great.

You beat on the door with your free hand, “Hurry up in there! I have a crisis hanging off of my arm!”

“Hey, don’t call me that you bitch,” Jennie frowns and you roll your eyes, knowing she won’t remember any of this in the morning. You beat on the door again and again and again and finally, someone unlocks it and opens it fully.

The sight makes your eyes widen and your body heat up on fire. In front of you stands Jungkook against the counter zipping up his pants and the girl he was with earlier standing from her knees, wiping her mouth with a smirk. She leaves the bathroom, leaving you standing there with Jennie alone. When his eyes meet yours, his face goes ghostly pale. His mouth parts open and he feels like crawling into a hole to die.

“Y/N, Jennie?” Is all that comes from his mouth.

“Move Jungkook,” you say sternly and he moves to make room for you two in the bathroom.

“Uh, do you need any—“

“Leave Jungkook, I don’t need any help,” you say frustrated at the sight you just witnessed. You don’t know why you felt angry at him. You knew that he slept around like most fraternity boys—but to see him after getting sucked off in a bathroom—was new territory. Not only did it bring up the memory of you and him back in Taehyung’s bathroom all those years ago, it made you physically sick to know that you were just a pawn for him then. Who are you trying to kid? You were nothing to him. Once he figured out what his dick was used for, that’s all he cared about. Christ, you say to yourself, fuck him.

Jungkook leaves the two of you alone and within seconds, Jennie is over the toilet hurling her entire stomach up. You hold her hair back as she heaves into the toilet, trying not to gag yourself.

“Y/N,” she mumbles, “I don’t feel good.”

“I know, just keep it in the toilet please,” you say looking away at the sight.

Thankfully, Namjoon appears at the door. “The Uber is here,” he announces.

“Come on, we’re going to get you home,” you tell her, wiping her mouth with some toilet paper.

“Home?” She asks, “Thank god.”

Namjoon grabs her other side as the two of you carry her outside into the fresh air. You have to admit, the fresh air as sobered you up slightly. You spot the car waiting up front and Namjoon opens the door for Jennie.

“Thank you so much,” you tell Namjoon as he helps Jennie into the car.

“It’s seriously not a problem,” he smiles, “You should go with her,” he suggests and you feel your heart drop.

“A-are you sure?” You ask, subtle disappointment in your tone.

“Yeah, it’s fine—we’ll pick up another time,” he gives you a wink and you smile back.

“Okay, thanks again.”

You load into the back of the Uber with Jennie and you just pray that she doesn’t hurl in the car, for the sake of you and the Uber driver’s car. You were not about to pay the $200 fee for puke in the backseat. 

_____

The next morning comes all too quickly in your deep sleep. When you wake up, you are not expecting Jennie to be in your bed with you. You had nearly forgotten she refused to sleep in her own bed last night, therefore you having to give in to her wishes of sleeping with you. Thankfully, you don’t feel like you have too bad of a hangover. For Jennie though, you know she will probably be in bed all day with a bottle of Tylenol at her bedside.

You check your phone and your eyes nearly burst from your head. It’s 1:07 PM.

“Fuck,” you groan to yourself. You did not need to sleep this late considering you absolutely needed to study for your exams on Monday. Not only was it an exam—it was your midterm exams in your human sciences and financial analytics classes, two classes that were kicking your ass. The longer you laid in your bed, meant the longer you were losing time to cram in your studying. You swig the sheets and blankets off of you to find yourself still in your party dress from last night. You grab a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt from your wardrobe before heading to the bathroom.

Your appearance makes you shudder when you seeing yourself in the mirror. You didn’t even take off your makeup, mascara and lipstick stains spread out on your face. Now it was time to really pray that you wouldn’t breakout from the old layer of foundation on your face. You grab a makeup wipe to get the gunk off of yourself before you step into an insanely hot shower.

You manage to shower quickly, scrubbing your body and face off of any stench left of you from last night. You step out, moisturizing each crevice that you can reach before you throw on your clothes. You feel 200% better now that you have showered and you can hear footsteps coming down from the hallway. Jennie appears at the bathroom door rubbing her eyes harshly.

“Good morning sleepyhead,” you comment and she stretches out her limbs, her dress hiked up far up her legs where her underwear is showing.

“Ugh!” She groans loudly, “My head is pounding. What the fuck happened last night?”

“There’s some medicine out in the kitchen,” you say as you follow her out into your living room and kitchen area. She goes immediately to the medicine cabinet and downs two pills with ease.

“Where are you going?” She asks as you began to gather up your school work into your book-bag.

“I have to study,” you tell her and she closes her eyes again, the sun being too harsh for the light.

“It’s Saturday Y/N,” she says obviously.

“I know,” you zip up your bag, throwing it over your shoulder, “But I have two midterms Monday—I can’t make below a B or I can get in trouble with the dean,” you explain and she nods, her sleepy gaze staring at you.

“Well, have fun. I’ll be here—dying,” she grins and you salute her off, leaving your shared apartment to go to the campus library.

The library is only about a ten minute walk and thankfully, not many students are flocking to the location on a Saturday afternoon. You assume that everyone is either hungover like Jennie or just don’t give a shit enough to come out and study.

You grab a coffee from the small coffee shop outside the library before you go in, sit down, and get to work on your studying. You turn on your classical music radio as you take out out your printed slides, notes, and textbooks. As strange as it is to say, as much as you hated studying—it’s where you felt the most comfortable. You knew you were smart and you knew school was your strongest trait—everyone knew that about you.

You go through each chapter of your human sciences class, writing and rewriting notes on new sheets of a paper. You make flashcards as you go along. You answer the obnoxiously long quiz questions at the end of your textbook as you go along. 

Thankfully, you haven’t had any distractions and before you know it, it’s been nearly two hours since you first sat down. Your coffee is now cold but you don’t care as you need the caffeine to keep you going. You are about to pull out all of your analytics material before suddenly, a coffee cup in placed on the table in front of you. You look at the source and look back down until you look up again. 

“Jungkook?” You ask pulling out one of your earbuds. His face is tired, the bags underneath his eyes prominent. He’s wearing a gray tracksuit, his hair messy underneath his somewhat contained beanie.

“H-hi,” he says simply, “Can I sit?” He asks referring to the chair across from you. You nod as he slings his backpack off and into the floor as he plops down in the chair.

“Hi,” you speak lowly. There’s tension between the two of you. It’s uncomfortable. You hate it, almost as much as you hate the sight you saw last night. “What’s up?” The question is simple, but forced.

He shrugs, “I dragged myself out to study despite my busting headache,” he says scratching the back of his neck.

“Jungkook in the library? To study? Did I hear that right?” You ask and he laughs slightly.

“Yup, unfortunately you did,” he answers before letting out a sigh. “I uh, got you this,” he slides the coffee cup over to you and you furrow your brows. You face heats up. Why would he buy you a coffee? The time Jungkook bought you something was a card and flowers the evening of your high school graduation, why the hell would he buy you a coffee?

“Thanks,” you laugh awkwardly grabbing the cup from him. You take a sip from the cup and realize it’s exactly how you like it. Three creams, an espresso shot, and a dash of vanilla flavoring. “How’d you know this is what I like?” You ask.

“Uh, you told me a few years back,” he says shy, his gaze ripping away from you. “I assumed it was the same, thank god,” he laughs trying to lighten up the mood.

“Thanks,” you repeat, unsure of what to say.

“Uh, how’s Jennie this morning?” He asks you with a genuine concern. You look from him, not being able to hold his gaze without burning up.

“She’s fine,” you say, keeping your eyes on your notes and hands in front of you.

“That’s good,” he says awkwardly. His leg is bouncing uncontrollably underneath the table and he feels like he needs to throw up.

“Why did you buy me this?” You ask him. He wants something, you can feel it.

“Um, no reason, I-I just saw you h-here and I know how much you love coffee,” he stumbles over his words and you meet his gaze again, before giving him a glare.

“Hm,” you mumble.

“Listen Y/N,” he starts, sounding more clear of his words, “I know we don’t really have a relationship anymore but, I-I just wanted to apologize to you about… the bathroom… last night,” he sighs and he hangs his head down for a second.

Your expression is blank and you shrug your shoulders with a small head shake, “Don’t worry about it.”

He nods slowly before a silence falls between you two.

“Listen, um I really have to get back to studying for my midterm tomorrow. Thank you again for the coffee,” you say with a small smile, trying your best to be cordial with him.

He nods getting ready to stand up but he stops abruptly, “What are you doing this week?”

The question catches you off guard.

“Oh, um,” your mouth is dry and it’s hard to find the words, “Probably studying, working, I don’t know,” you shrug again.

“Well uh, I was wondering if you wanted to meet up?” He bits his lip nervously, “We haven’t hung out in awhile, I thought maybe we could catch up?”

Awhile would be an understatement. The boy and you exchange another glance before you begin to nod hesitantly.

“Sure,” you answer simply.

“Cool,” he responds, “You still have the same number?” He asks. The question is weird. How is it that your best friend of so many years has to ask if your number is the same?

“Yeah,” you nod. He nods too, saying a quick goodbye before you watch as his built frame disappears into another corridor of the library, your eyes lingering a little too long on his built frame. What the hell was that?

_____

On Monday, both of your exams go a lot better than you were expecting them to. Your human sciences exam had already been graded and you made a 94 which in turn meant you were over the moon. Now you could only hope for that in analytics.

You know sat across from Jennie at one of your campus’s sandwich shops eating a late lunch.

“I don’t even know why you stress so much about your grades Y/N,” Jennie says, “You always end up with an A.”

“Jennie, I worry because if I don’t get A’s I can get kicked out of the honors program, you know this,” you say with pointed eyes, “Besides, I made a B in that business statistics class I had my freshman year, I’m still pissed about that!”

“Boohoo, I got a C minus in that class,” Jennie rolls her eyes, “All I’m saying is, you just need to loosen up. I know school is stressful but I know that you have to be going crazy.”

“I am going crazy Jennie,” you whine, “I’m just glad we don’t have much longer,” you sigh heavily.

“You and me both,” she adds, “I’m sorry I interrupted your stress relief the other night,” she says.

“What?”

She laughs, “You almost got dicked down by Namjoon and I ruined it,” she pouts and you giggle at her.

“It’s fine,” you shake your head, “He said we could pick it up another time.”

“Good, his fine piece of ass is something you gotta keep,” she smirks. Suddenly, your phone makes a ding on the table and you grab it quickly. Your eyes widen slightly when you see the text message.

[3:32 PM Jeon Jungkook] hey do you still want to do something this week?

“Who is that?” Jennie asks you.

“Uh, nobody,” you shake your head putting the phone back down.

“It most definitely is not nobody—your eyes are huge,” she points out. Dammit.

“Um,” you start, “Well last week at work, Jungkook, Taehyung, and their friend Hobi came in later at night,” you tell her, “And it was awkward and then I saw Jungkook at the party on Saturday.”

“We see him all the time at the parties we go,” she shrugs.

“I know, but then he came up to me in the library the other day…and bought me a coffee,” you finish.

Jennie’s eyes widen. “What?”

“I know right,” you say.

“Wonder what he wants from you?” She purses her lips.

“He asked if he wanted to go out this week,” you shrug, “He said we haven’t in awhile and he wanted to ‘catch up’,” you say.

Jennie’s eyebrows furrow. “Hm,” she mumbles, “Well are you going to?”

“I don’t know,” you tell her honestly, “I think I’ve seen enough of him to last me awhile.”

Jennie grimaces at you, “Come on Y/N,” she says, “You and Jungkook used to be inseparable, I don’t even know what the fuck happened to you two.”

“We just grew apart Jennie,” you tell her.

“Friendships like you and Jungkook don’t just ‘grow apart’,” she uses air quotes.

“Believe what you want,” you mutter, picking at your food suddenly not feeling too hungry.

“Why wouldn’t you go? There’s nothing stopping you is there?” She presses.

“Not exactly, but… I don’t know if it’s a good idea,” you mumble.

“Y/N, he’s your oldest friend,” she says, “You’ve known him longer than anyone else here, I know that you miss him as your friend,” she goes on.

“I don’t know Jennie, we’re not the same people we used to be. We’re not compatible as friends anymore, it’s weird.”

“How can it already be weirder than it is now? It’s weird as fuck that you two grew up together and don’t speak to each other anymore. I’d say go, just hangout, who knows what might happen,” she reasons and you cannot help but agree with her.

You don’t say anything else as you pull your phone back out.

[3:38 PM Me] Yeah I’m free tonight if you want to do something!

_____

Jungkook picks you up at seven on the dot. You feel nervousness settling in your stomach and you suddenly care about your appearance. When you open the door of your apartment and welcome him in, you have to tell yourself to keep your mouth closed.

He’s dressed in a sweatshirt and ripped jeans but he looks…so good? You hope you aren’t overdressed in your dress and denim jacket and he smiles when he meets your gaze.

“Hey,” he greets you and you welcome him into your apartment—a place he has never been.

“Hi,” you say grabbing your keys from the kitchen. “Jennie!” You shout and she emerges from the laundry room

“Yeah?” She stops dead in her tracks when she sees Jungkook. “Oh, hey Jungkook.”

“Hi,” he smiles.

“I’ll be back later,” you tell her, “What are you doing tonight?”

“I have to write a report and I guess I’m going to do your laundry since you’re lazier than shit,” she presses. You throw up your middle finger and turn to Jungkook.

“You ready?”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

_____

“Where are we going?” You ask him as you make your way outside, keeping a relative distance between you and him.

“You hungry?” Jungkook proposes, almost with a playful tone.

“Mhm,” you mumble, looking down at the ground as you walk. This was weird… so fucking weird. The last time you and Jungkook had hung out was around two and a half years ago—not even shitting. You wonder if he still liked the same things, had the same hobbies, ate the same food, but you were completely unsure of yourself in this circumstance. The nervousness hasn’t settled in your stomach and your mind wonders if he’s nervous too.

“Alright, c’mon,” he says and you meet his gaze before he changes direction with you in tow.

It’s not even a five minute walk—mind you, in silence—until we reach the place Jungkook had led you to.

“Really Jungkook?” You raise an eyebrow at him as you step into your all too familiar work place.

“What?” He laughs, “The food is good,” he continues.

“I’m starting to think you brought me here for my employee discount,” you press to him and he tilts his head.

“You have an employee discount?” He repeats, “Good to know,” he chuckles and in turn, you return a small laugh, feeling a little more comfortable.

Mark isn’t working tonight, but unfortunately, a girl named Kyla is and you absolutely despise her. Her biggest personality trait is just being a bitch—a bitch for no reason! Sure, you can have your bitchy moments but you’re not going to be a bitch to someone unless they deserve it.

“Y/N… Jungkook,” Kyla says slowly, looking between the two of you. “Just sit wherever you like,” she says. The restaurant is free real estate as you two are the only ones here.

You choose a booth, sliding in on one side, Jungkook on the other.

“Do you know her?” You ask Jungkook once she walks away from your table.

Jungkook looks pale, “I’ve met her, once or twice,” he says and it’s all the confirmation you need to understand that means he’s fucked her once or twice.

You don’t say anything else as you look through the menu, already knowing exactly what you want.

“When did you start working here?” Jungkook asks you.

“Oh, about a month ago,” you say. He already knows that. I guess you and Jungkook are really too that point, huh? Small, dull, repetitive conversation?

“How did your exams go?” He asks, chewing on his bottom lip. He’s nervous—you can sense it.

“Better than I thought,” you answer honestly.

“Hm, let me guess—you thought you did terrible but ended up getting an A,” he reads you perfectly.

“Hey! I don’t think like that,” you say even thought you know that is a fat lie.

“Come on Y/N, you’ve been that way since we were fourteen. Lying sends you to hell you know,” he raises an eyebrow at you and you look away from him to suppress your laugh.

“Fine. I got a 94 on one of them, I don’t know about the other one yet,” you tell him.

“See, you’re a genius,” he says and you shake your head.

“Most definitely not,” you say.

“I was always so envious of you growing up, you just sat there in school and you just… got it,” he says remembering back to your younger days, “All of us were jealous of you,” he adds.

“I can guarantee nobody was jealous of me Jungkook,” you give him a grimace, “We all were stupid in our own ways, maybe you more than anyone else,” you decide to pick on him since you’re feeling more relaxed as the conversation keeps going.

“Hey, no need to shit on me like that,” he gives you a pout.

Your phone suddenly vibrates against the table. It’s probably Jennie, you think to yourself as you flip the phone over. To your surprise, it’s not Jennie—It’s Namjoon.

[7:28 PM Kim Namjoon] hope you had a good day

[7:29 PM Kim Namjoon] mine would be a lot better if you were sitting on my cock right now

Your eyes widen and you flip the phone back over with a slam to the table. Jungkook looks at you curiously.

“Whose that?” He asks.

You want to lie, but Jungkook can tell when you’re lying. “Just Namjoon,” you tell him, “He was asking about some homework.”

Jungkook nods slowly before chewing on his bottom lip again, “You and hyung are good friends?”

Your face drops and you don’t say anything.

“I’m just asking since I’ve seen you guys together at our parties,” he adds while clearing his throat.

“Yeah, we’re friends,” is all that comes from your mouth. Jungkook’s eyes are hard to read but you can tell he knows you’re not saying what you’re actually thinking. What he wants you to do is be honest with him and tell him that yeah, you and Namjoon fuck from time to time, but of course, he doesn’t get that answer.

About twenty minutes later, Kyla is bringing your food.Your stomach growls as the scent of the food comes into your nostrils. The two of you begin eating, keeping some small talk between the two of you.

“Are you still a business major?” You ask him as you chow down on your French fries loaded with ketchup.

Jungkook scrunches his face up, “Hell no,” he shakes his head.

You stop your chewing momentarily, “Oh,” is all you can muster. “I’m sure that went over well with your father.”

Jungkook gives you a short glance, a smirk across his face, “It went as well as you can imagine.”

Growing up, Jungkook was expected to go to college, get a business degree of some kind and him and his older brother were to takeover his father’s company by the time he was 30—you would know, Jungkook would secretly complain to you about nonstop as teenagers.

“What are majoring in now?”

“Photography and film,” he answers boldly.

“Oh, wow,” you tell him, “That’s a big move.”

“I’d rather die than being forced to do something I don’t want to do, that’s no way to live life,” he munches on his burger, his eyes looking straight into yours.

“How’s Taehyung?” You ask him.

“He’s good,” he laughs a little bit, “Would you believe it if I told you he has a girlfriend?” He cocks his head slightly.

“Taehyung? And a girlfriend?” You say in disbelief. “You’re kidding, right?”

“Nope,” he chuckles, “It’s weird though, he won’t introduce me to her, hell he won’t even tell me her name.”

You furrow your eyebrows, “That is weird,” you pause, “Maybe he thinks you’ll steal her,” you smirk jokingly. 

Jungkook shakes his head, “Taehyung’s got more game than I do, trust me,” he says with a laugh. 

“I’m assuming you don’t have a girlfriend?” You ask him nervously, biting down on your bottom lip.

Jungkook stops eating and rolls his tongue on the inside of his cheek, “No, I haven’t dated anyone since Yuna really.”

The confession surprises you and you somewhat don’t believe him.

“Why not?” You press.

He shrugs, “Just haven’t found anyone I like I guess, like, really like, you know?”

You nod understandingly. Before Namjoon (whom you aren’t even dating) you had dated this guy for awhile and he was nice but you were bored as fuck in that relationship. Thankfully, you moved on from that onto better things.

Once the two of you finish your meals, Jungkook pays before you can protest and you leave the restaurant around 8:30 PM. You shove your hands into your jacket and walk along beside of Jungkook, lazily kicking rocks when you come across them.

“So, what did I do to deserve a free meal and a coffee from Jeon Jungkook in the span of two days?” You look up at him and he glances down to you quickly.

“I said I wanted to catch up, how else was I supposed to do that?” He smirks and you hit his arm playfully.

You don’t say anything so he continues.

“I don’t know, it’s just when I saw you last week working, I hadn’t seen you in so long… let alone speak to you,” he pauses, “It made me realize that I miss our friendship, I missed us…” he trails off, looking straight ahead.

“Why didn’t you reach out sooner?” You ask him seriously.

Jungkook hesitates some, “You could have reached out too, the phone works both ways” his words are unexpected, harsh. And they somewhat hurt.

You don’t say anything again, feeling a sting in your chest.

“I didn’t mean it like that Y/N,” Jungkook say, stopping his path to stand in front of you, “It’s just… we haven’t spoken in so long. I feel like you’re a completely different person ever since we got here to university. I don’t know what happened—“

“You don’t know what happened?” Your tone is sharp. “Are you stupid Jungkook?”

He looks taken aback, “W-what?”

“When we were eighteen and you fucking kissed me that’s what happened and that’s when shit changed Jungkook, don’t act like you don’t know,” you sound angry to which, you are. Talking about this gets you riled up.

Jungkook lowers his head, “We should have talked about that, I know but—“

“But what Jungkook? It ruined our friendship and you know it.”

“I ruined it?” He now sounds pissed off. “What ruined our friendship was you acting like I didn’t exist once we got here to college. You blew me off and blew me off time and time again,” he runs a hand through his hair, “I tried to maintain this friendship and you know it. If that stupid, fucking, drunken kiss bothered you that bad, you should have been a big girl and told me.”

You feel frustrated and you feel tears are threatening to spill out of you. You want to comeback with something, but you know he’s right. He did try and you were the one to put distance between you both.

“I-I,” you start but no words come out. “I’m sorry Jungkook. It’s just when we got here, things got more complicated and more stressful, and I couldn’t afford distractions—“

“So I’m a distraction now?”

“What? No, no, I didn’t mean it like that,” you shake your head in protest.

“So, hanging out at fraternity houses every weekend, getting hammered with Jennie every weekend, smoking pot once in awhile, and fucking Namjoon isn’t a distraction? But your best friend of fourteen years is a distraction?” Jungkook’s words come out in a frenzy and you feel slightly attacked.

“Excuse me what? Jungkook no—“ you stop yourself from speaking. You know he’s right but that doesn’t give him a right to attack you like that. “So, what’s your excuse then for not being the bigger person than, huh? Getting sucked off too many times in a bathroom and you realized you don’t need my attention anymore? Huh?”

Jungkook’s eyes darken and you can tell he’s pissed off.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” He asks you.

“Jungkook, you’re my oldest friend—“

“You don’t treat me like it—“

“Well neither do you,” you back go back and forth with each other. You’re frustrated. Angry. Sad.

Jungkook is fighting a battle in his head. “I’m sorry okay,” he says, “I think we both can admit we’ve acted shitty to each other.”

You look away from him staring aimlessly at your lap, “I’m sorry too, I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Neither should have I,” he says. “I just wish you had told me about that stupid kiss, we could have talked through it Y/N. I wasn’t thinking back then.”

“Why did you kiss me?”

Jungkook’s eyes look panicked and he scratches the back of his neck.

“I had a stupid little crush on you at the time okay? And alcohol doesn’t help, it only intensified my feelings.”

“What?” Your mouth drops agape at the confession.

“I know, stupid right,” he shakes his head, “Fuck I wished we had discussed this sooner because this is so embarrassing,” he laughs while shaking his head.

You’re in disbelief. Jungkook liked you? How did you not know? It makes your insides tingle at the thought, but you know you shouldn’t get excited so you drown out the feeling deep within you. 

“Well, that was years ago,” you tell him, “All we can do now is look ahead,” your breath is uneven and shaky.

“You’re right,” he mutters, “I really am sorry Y/N, I-I just want you as a friend again—“

“I forgive you Jungkook. And I’m sorry too.”

What Jungkook does next is unexpected but all too familiar. He grabs your chin and squeezes it in his hand. You swat him away with a laugh as he pulls you in by an arm. You oblige his movements and rest your head on his shoulder as the two of you keep walking. There’s something oddly intimate about this gesture. And the whole atmosphere has changed but you like it—it feels… like home.

“Can I ask you something?” You mumble.

“You just did,” he laughs and his chest rumbles underneath you.

“Shut the fuck up,” you lean up from him with a smile, “Namjoon said you talk about me a lot…?” You trail off your question. You could be sneaky if you really wanted to be.

“He did?” Jungkook panics. Fucking Namjoon, he thinks to himself. “W-what did he say?” He stumbles on his words.

“Just stuff,” you respond hesitantly, “He may or may not have said that you called me hot.” Jungkook freezes beside of you.

“Fucking hell, I’m gonna kill hyung,” he mutters underneath his breath, “Look I’m sorry okay—I was really drunk and I saw you at one of our parties in this short ass dress and fuck, yeah I said you were hot—I’m sorry okay? I know that’s so fucking weird jeez, I’m sorry—“

“Jungkook it’s fine,” you laugh interrupting his rambling. “It’s not weird, I just wanted to know whether or not Namjoon was feeding me shit.”

“You don’t think it’s weird?” He asks and you can sense that he is very embarrassed. “I told you, I’m not good with my alcohol.”

You shake your head, “I mean, you’re pretty hot too if I say so myself,” the words tumble from your mouth and you actually want to crawl in a hole and die. Did you just say that?! Jungkook looks at you as you turn your face away from him. Fuck, he thinks to himself. He glances down your body and notices the cleavage coming through your dress and the way you hair is pulled to one side. Fuck, he thinks again, yeah, stupid little crush three years ago my ass.

“Can I tell you something?” His voice his quiet, serious.

“Of course,” you look up at him with a concern face.

“You can’t tell anyone—not even Jennie,” he says, his voice low. You give him a confused look, but nod anyways.

“What’s wrong?” You ask him. He bits at his lip, feeling uneasy.

He takes in a deep breath before exhaling, “When I changed my major a few months back, my parents threatened to cut me off—“

“Whoa, what?”

“And they’re still threatening to if I don’t get my shit straight.”

“Jungkook, I don’t get what you’re saying? Have you done something?” You ask him, feeling already too uneasy about where this conversation is going.

“No, I haven’t done anything—that’s the problem. I haven’t proved to them that I’m worthy for them to keep paying for my school. I haven’t proved to them that I can get a job somewhere. My grades aren’t proving anything to them.”

“What are you gonna do if they cut you off? You can’t pay for this shit-hole by yourself—they know that.” You notice the way his jaw is grinding and his breathing is shaking.

“Please don’t get mad at me,” he mumbles quietly. Oh god. “Recently I started taking up, um… boxing,” he says, unsure of his words.

“…Okay?” You say slowly.

“I’ve been fighting, like underground fighting,” you almost don’t hear him, but then you do, and you want to laugh in his face—but he’s being serious.

“Fighting? Jungkook what the fuck?!” You push yourself away from the comfort of his side, “Are you crazy?!”

“I’m getting paid for the fights—if I win at least,” he tries to sound reasonable but to you, you want to scream at him in anger.

“Jungkook, are you fucking kidding me? You’re fighting? Instead of finding a real job?”

“Y/N you don’t understand—I make thousands of dollars for one fight—it’s my best chance right now.”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” you shake your head, pulling your hands through your hair in frustration, you cannot believe this man right now.

“What are you going to do about school then? Huh?” You press him.

“I-I was hoping you would help me, at least try to tutor me,” he says hesitantly and your stomach drops. You don’t say anything for a moment, unsure if you want to scream or cry at him.

“So this is the reason why you wanted to rekindle our friendship, so I could be your fucking tutor?”

“What no—“

“Are you fucking kidding me Jungkook? I cannot believe you right now,” your voice is getting louder by the minute. You start to walk away from him back to your apartment by yourself, unable to even look at him right now.

“Wait—no, please Y/N,” Jungkook runs to you, grabbing your hand and pulls you back to him, “I know this is all bad timing but I really did miss having you as a friend and you’re the only person, I could tell this to, at least for now,” he quickly explains.

“What, so you want me to help you through school while you get the shit knocked out of you for money?” You ask him, “Jungkook I don’t want to see you go through that, you have to find another option,” your eyes are pleading with him. His grip moves from your hand to your waist which causes your heart to race irregularly.

“Y/N, please I know it’s not the best but it really is my best option. I need someone there for me and I need that person to be you,” his face is too close for comfort and you back away from him a few inches.

“Jungkook, I don’t know,” you shake your head.

“Please, Y/N, I’m begging you,” he says again.

“Have you told anyone?” You ask him.

“Aside from you, only Taehyung knows—and Yoongi, he was the one to introduce me to it.” Yoongi—a name you’re not familiar with.

“Fucking hell Jungkook,” you lean your head back, trying to contain your emotions.

“Please you can’t tell anyone Y/N, I can get in serious trouble by obtaining money this way.”

“Yeah because it’s fucking illegal,” you spit at him. You find his hand to grip a little too tightly and you want to scream at Jungkook. How could he be so stupid? And how were you going to let him be so stupid?

“I’ll help you with school Jungkook, but the fighting… I don’t know,” you tell him, “You know I’m not going to be okay with that.”

“If you makes you feel any better, I haven’t lost. The most I’ve walked away with is a few scraps and bruises on my arms,” he tries to lighten up your mood but it doesn’t work. “I promise I won’t get hurt, I know what I’m doing,” he nudges you trying to loosen you up some. He hands end up grabbing yours, intertwining them tightly.

“Don’t make me promises you can’t keep Jungkook,” you tell him and his face falls again. Both of you look at your intertwined hands. “At least promise me you’ll be careful,” you plead him.

“Of course. I promise,” he says giving your hand a squeeze. Without warning, he pulls you into a tight embrace, his arms wrapping around your waist tightly. Your hands snake up against his neck and pull him close to you as well.

His scent is all too familiar and it scares you that you’ve missed out on him growing into the handsome adult he is now. And now, you have to fear for his wellbeing. Fuck. Jungkook pulls away from you and your faces meet a little too close for comfort. His nose brushes against yours, his eyes burning holes into you.

“I’d trust you with my life Y/N,” he speaks again, “And I’m trusting you with this.”

Your breath hitches as his nose brushes yours again. Fuck, you think to yourself. You bite your lip, knowing that you wold absolutely die for this boy and it takes all of you to grip his shirt and push him away from you. You feel less suffocated once your space is empty and Jungkook’s hand stays in yours as he walks you home. It’s a good thing, you think, that you’ve had a stupid little crush on him too or you would most definitely not do this shit for him.

_____

“So,” Jennie says slowly, “How was it?”

You hadn’t even walked into your apartment five feet before Jennie is rushing questions onto you.

“Um,” you pause, taking the time to take off your shoes, “It went... well,” you say, unsure of your words. Did it go well? You weren’t sure considering the two of you were in an argument nearly the whole way home.

“Well?” Jennie asks, curiosity dripping in her tone, “I need more details than that. What’d you do? What did you guys talk about?”

“Um, we just kind of caught up on things,” you knew you had to tread your words lightly. “It felt pretty normal.” You add at the last second, giving her a weak smile. She narrows her eyes at you.

“That’s it?” She somewhat frowned.

“What did you want me to say?” You give her a laugh as you begin to walk back towards your room and undress into your sleepwear. She follows your footsteps closely.

“I don’t know! I was just expecting more, more from you! You seem awfully quiet,” she says plopping down on your bed that she is oh-so accustomed to.

You look through your drawers and pull out a big t-shirt and slip it over your head. You turn to Jennie and give her another pathetic attempt of a smile.

“It’s just weird okay,” you tell her, climbing onto your bed with her, “This was the first time we’ve actually hung out by ourselves in years and I don’t know, it was good, like we picked up where we left off you know?” You knew that was a complete lie but you needed to get Jennie off your case or you were afraid you would let your worries slip.

She lets out a sigh, “I guess so. I do think about high school sometimes and we really had it good… the four of us,” she smiles fondly thinking back to simpler times.

“Yeah… we did,” you agree staring up at your ceiling.

“How’s Taehyung by the way? Did Jungkook mention him?”

You give a glance at Jennie and she’s looking at her overgrown nails. “He’s good, Jungkook said he had a girlfriend which surprised me.”

“Hm,” Jennie shrugged, “Interesting.”

You furrowed your eyebrows while looking at her. “Interesting?” You found her answer odd but she brushes it off.

“Yeah, well I have homework to do that isn’t gonna do itself unfortunately,” she stands up from your bed, “See you in the morning, goodnight.” She throws you a quick wink before she leaves, shutting your bedroom door behind of her.

You let out a sigh of relief when she leaves. As happy as you were that you and Jungkook reconnected some tonight, the uneasiness in the pit of your stomach was keeping you from focusing on the good. You couldn’t believe what Jungkook had gotten himself into. Boxing? For money? You knew Jungkook never had much common sense but this takes it to another level. You now knew one of his deepest secrets and not only could that seriously backfire on you if something went wrong. He said he trusted you with his fucking life for Christ’s sake. Who says that to someone they’ve barely spoken to in two years? Someone who is desperate, you think.

You grab a book from your nightstand for one of your classes and flip to your last read page, trying to rid your mind of Jungkook getting the shit beat out of him. And as much as you read your book and your eyelids fall sleepy, you manage to barely sleep that night, as images of your old friend are burned into your brain.

_____

It wasn’t long after your first meetup with Jungkook that he started asking for tutoring help. Jungkook knew your schedule was busy and he didn’t want to pressure you into anything, but the more you were around Jungkook, the more desperate you were to help him. You have known him for so long and despite all your differences, he truly was and will always be one of your best friends. And best friends helped each other. Right?

“Hey—sorry I’m late,” you meet Jungkook in the back of the fourth floor of the library after your last class of the day. “I had a question about my lecture—“

“Y/N it’s fine,” Jungkook says softly, not looking up from his paper, “Don’t worry about it.”

You set down beside of him and begin to take your belongings out of your backpack and you notice Jungkook has already begun some work himself.

“How was classes today?” You ask him opening up your laptop. You give him a glance and he’s focused on the problem in front of him.

“It was alright, I slept through my first one at ten—“

“What’s that?” You ask as you let your eyes focus a little too close on his face. A cut lined across his jaw and up towards his left ear and you felt yourself begin to panic.  “Jungkook what—“

“Don’t worry about it,” he’s being cold and distant and you don’t like it. You look down his arms and onto his hands and notice some cuts and bruises there too. That’s when it hits you.

“Jungkook did you have a fight recently?” You keep your voice low so no one else could hear. He visibly tenses up beside of you and he adjusts his beanie on his to try and cover his ear area.

“Yeah,” he says simply, his eyes not looking at you one time, still focusing on the paper ahead.

“Jungkook,” your tone is deep and not happy, but you suppose there isn’t much you can do in this situation. Curiosity got the best of you and you ask, “What happened?”

“Let’s not talk about that okay?” He turns to you fully and you inwardly gasp, seeing that his right eye is half blacked behind his glasses. You feel sick to your stomach and your mouth parts. Again, you don’t say anything and just give him a nod.

The rest of the tutoring session with him goes smoothly and Jungkook has significantly picked up his understanding of his classes in a short amount of time, but in the back of your mind you wanted to scream. Scream at him. How could he be doing this to himself? He first told you he was fine. He sure doesn’t look fine. It’s getting close to 7 o’clock when you tell him you have to go get ready for your shift at the diner in an hour.

“We can pick up again whenever you need to,” you tell, “And text me if you have any questions.”

“What are you doing this weekend?” Jungkook completely ignores your sentences and you turn to him, trying not to stare at the faint of blue under his eye.

“Um, I have another shift tomorrow that starts at 7,” you tell him.

“Can you get off?” He asks almost nervously as the two of you begin to leave the library.

You chuckle, “Probably not, why?”

“Well, Taehyung and I are having a small get together at our apartment and I wanted to know if you and Jennie wanted to come?”

He sounds genuine and you know it could be fun and a little different from the chaotic frat scene that you’re used to.

“Sure, I’m sure Jennie will be down,” you give him a smile to which he returns one for the first time tonight. “If I can’t get off work I’ll just come after my shift.”

“Sounds good,” he says and you are about to part ways before he grabs your arm to stop you, “Thanks again Y/N, for helping me out,” there’s a glimmer in his eyes.

“No problem, it’s what a friend would do right?” You give him your best smile although it feels weird saying that. His face drops in the slightest way.

“Yeah…” he trails off, his hand trailing down your arm before letting go, “See you soon?”

You give him a nod, “See you soon.”

_____

Your shift at the diner tonight was being particularly slow for a Tuesday and you found yourself aimlessly making lattes for yourself every thirty minutes. You were slightly jacked from the caffeine but you knew you would need it once you went home to finish off the load of your homework for the night. Bedtime as of right now was looking to be 3 AM, possibly 4. Mark is once again working with you tonight which makes it all the more bearable, but the more you stand behind the counter, sipping your coffee, the more you realize you do not want to waste tomorrow night working.

“Hey, Mark,” you say and he looks up from his book.

“What’s up?” He asks, his eyes focussing on you.

“Would you care…. to possibly… take my shifts this weekend?” You ask slowly, dancing around the topic. His eyebrows furrow and you could tell that is not what he wanted to hear from you.

“I mean… I don’t care to, but can I ask why?”

Shit. You couldn’t say it was to go to a small party. That would be an automatic no.

“Well, I’ve been tutoring someone recently and it's taken away from my own study time, so I really need all weekend to catch up on all my shit,” you say smoothly. Not a complete lie, but he didn’t need to know you would be catching up on your “shit” tonight and not this weekend.

“Yeah, sure whatever,” he waves his hand off, “Just be sure to tell our manager before you leave.”

“Right… thanks Mark.”

“That means you owe me a shift in the future,” he says pointedly.

“Yeah, yeah, read your fucking book.”

_____

Friday was a blur. You went to sleep around 3:45 AM. Had to wake up at 7 AM for your 8 AM lecture, dragged your feet to your other classes, barely had time to eat anything, only consuming coffee to suppress your appetite in the afternoon, and now that you were home you couldn’t wait to lay in your bed for a few hours.

Jennie didn’t have classes on Friday’s—fuck her—so she had been chilling all day when you burst through the door exhausted.

“You look horrible,” she said as soon as you flopped down on the couch beside of her.

“You don’t have to tell me that,” you groan covering your eyes.

“Well you better get rested up before tonight,” she says.

“What’s tonight?” You mumble, nearly drifting off to sleep right then and there.

“Jungkook invited us to his apartment, that’s what you said last night,” she gave you a funny look before shaking her head.

Shit. You had forgotten about that throughout your drowsy state all day.

“Yeah, right,” you pause, looking at her through the crack of your arm, “Wake me up at 7 to get ready.” You stand up planning on taking the fattest nap of your life.

“I-I captain!” Jennie says sarcastically and it’s the last thing you hear before passing out on your bed, not even bothering to put a blanket over you.

_____

Jungkook and Taehyung’s apartment isn’t far from yours. You wouldn’t say the exterior is nicer than yours, but the abundance of buildings shows that their community is much larger than the one you and Jennie share.

“This is right?” Jennie asks as you knock on the door heavily.

“Yeah,” you say, faintly hearing music from the other side of the door.

The door swings open and to your surprise, it’s Taehyung.

“Jennie, Y/N!” He smiles widely at the two of you before ushering you in. “It’s been wayyyy too long! You guys want a drink?”

You take a second to look around their apartment, not seeing Jungkook anywhere. There’s about two dozen people here, some playing pong, others sitting around the living area. You knew Taehyung was feeling a little drunk despite it being only 9 from the way he grabs a couple cups, the entire tower of them falling over.

“How have you guys been?!” Taehyung pours some cheap tequila into your red solo cups and hands them over.

“Good, what about you?” Jennie smiles to him and Taehyung pours another shot for himself.

“Fucking great,” he says before putting his cup out. The three of you bump cups and down the tequila, a familiar burn hitting you instantly. It’s oddly reminiscent, the three of you drinking alcohol like there are no problems with the world.

“Where’s Jungkook?” You ask, giving another glance around the apartment, only recognizing some of his frat brothers, but him still not to be found.

“He went to get more alcohol and some other things,” Taehyung says, pouring another shot for the two of you. “I heard the two of you finally got over your bullshit?”

You furrow your eyebrows and Jennie laughs. “W-what?” You have to laugh too, “Bullshit?”

“You know, how the two of you acted like neither of you existed? God it was so annoying hearing that little bitch talk about you constantly,” he rolls his eyes dramatically and Jennie eyes you suspiciously.

“Uh, yeah—“ you were unsure of what to say, “Heard you have a girlfriend now?” You change the subject quickly and Jennie raises her eyebrows at Taehyung.

“Really?” Jennie says almost passively. Taehyung doesn’t glance at you, only looking to Jennie.

“Yeah,” he says, “C’mon, drink your shit. The night is young and you guys need to catch up!”

“Or you need to slow down?” You offer and only giggles again. You down another shot and at this pace, you’ll be passed out by 11, Jennie by 10. You’ve always handle your alcohol better than her, but a shot every two minutes will do anyone in.

The three of you talk aimlessly, somewhat of an unresolved tension between Jennie and Taehyung that is impossible to avoid until you get some more alcohol in you. You’re about four shots of Jose Cuervo in and sipping on some type of seltzer when your phone buzzes in your hand.

[9:46 PM Namjoon] hey, wrud tonight

[9:46 PM You] at a friend’s place tonight, wbu

Your eyes are having trouble to focus as the alcohol begins to settle in your system. You remember vividly how you barely had any food today and you know you should stop drinking otherwise you might puke everywhere.

[9:48 PM Namjoon] damn, missing you. I believe you still owe me a rain check

You laugh at your phone.

[9:48 PM You] soon, I promise lol

“Jungkook! Fuck yes my brother!”

You instantly look up from your phone and see Jungkook walking through the front door, a case of beer in one hand and a brown bag in the other. He smiles as he sets down the case and bag of liquor as his brothers crowd around him to grab a can.

Do you go up to him? Yes, are you, stupid? But shouldn’t he look for you? What are you twelve?

Your internal monologue is interrupted when Taehyung pulls you over to Jungkook with a small push.  

“Hey Y/N,” Jungkook smiles, grabbing a beer for himself. He’s wearing a hat to cover his forehead.

“Hi,” you smile and he gives you a small, somewhat awkward hug.

“Glad you could make it,” he says, the bruises on his face from the other day already looking a lot better.

“I was not going to spend my Friday night at the restaurant,” you laugh, trying intensely to focus on his face and not zone in and out as you tend to do drunkenly.

“Jennie here?” He asks.

“Yeah, she’s uh,” you pause, actually not knowing where she went. “Oh, she’s playing pong with Taehyung.”

“Come on then,” he reaches out his hand, “Let’s play with them.”

“Jungkook I’m terrible, you know that—“

“I never said you were good, but for old times sake?” His brown eyes bore into yours and you give in, nodding your head and settling your hand into his. His hands are warm—always have been. Slightly rough and calloused but smooth—what the fuck, stop it!

The four of you, girls verses boys, start a new game of pong and you’re sure Jennie is just as bad as you. That’s evident when Jungkook and Taehyung lob four in, one after another. You’re lucky you get one in their cups. Jennie, too drunk at this point, can’t even throw straight. The whole sight is very funny as the four of you laugh like you’re the only ones in the room.

“Come on Y/N!” Taehyung yells, “I knew you were ass but really?!”

“Me! What about her!” You defend yourself as Jennie throws a ball at Jungkook’s head.

“At least Y/N can aim!” Jungkook laughs, defending you as well, rubbing his head from the plastic impact.

The game ends with Jungkook calling island and you don’t even care at this point. Pong was and never will be your favorite. Flip cup was your speciality and even Taehyung knew that. You find yourself sitting with Jungkook on their couch, legs tucked underneath you, watching at Taehyung and Jennie take on another round of pong with Jackson—a fraternity brother—and his long time girlfriend—Mina, maybe?

“Are you even drunk right now?” You deadpan Jungkook with your eyes and he gives you a small smile.

“Nah,” he says, “You are though,” he says pointedly drinking from his beer.

“Hey—“ you point, “Only a little,” you whisper close to his ear and he laughs at you again. “You sir, need to drink.”

Jungkook shakes his head before standing up, your eyes following up his jeans to his t-shirt clad chest. Has he always looked like this? You grab onto his extended hand and he leads you away from everyone and your heart rate quickens. Where are you going? What’s he doing?

To your relief, he takes to the small outside balcony, sliding the door nearly closed as you step out. There’s two other people out here smoking cigarettes that greet you and Jungkook curiously. You have seen these boys before, but you know they don’t recognize you. They obviously think you’re some random girl Jungkook has invited but—if they only knew.

The fresh air feels nice, but you can feel a chill running down your spine and you watch Jungkook’s frame go to a dark corner of the balcony, bending down to pick something off the ground.

“What are you doing?” You ask him and he turns back to you and you send some interesting paraphernalia in his hands.

“Not in a drinking mood tonight,” he says, his eyes leaving yours before focusing on the small glass bowl in his hands. He starts to pack it and you’re watching his every move closely. You never knew Jungkook to be a stoner, but the way he packs it quickly and begins to light it, tells you otherwise. He inhales through the end of the bowl deeply, exhaling once, before quickly taking another hit.

“Goddamn,” you laugh and he starts to cough a little bit, a small laugh coming from him.

Jungkook begins to walk back to the corner before you grab his shirt to pull him back.

“You heard of sharing is caring?” You say and he shakes his head.

“No, you’re drunk, you don’t need—“

“I want too,” you say. You hadn’t smoked in awhile, but you knew you could trust Jungkook. “Come on, I’m fine.”

Jungkook hesitates a little before he holds out the bowl. You take it and hold is securely between your lips. He lights the underside and you inhale deeply. The balcony begins to smell like weed, but it doesn’t bother you, it never has. You exhale and give him a small smile. He puts the illegal substances away and stands beside of you on the balcony.

“Alright, that will be five dollars,” he says and you turn to him, your mouth agape.

“Five dollars a hit? Kiss my ass,” you say and you suddenly begin to feel the effects of the marijuana, which makes you giggle a little too long.

“How was your day?” Jungkook asks you and you nearly feel like you could fall asleep.

“Exhausting,” you mumble, “I got like four hours of sleep last night and one of my professors had the audacity to tell me that my answer was wrong on my homework when literally five other people had the same answer and got it right. And then I had coffee as my meals and had a busting headache until I took the longest nap of my fucking life—“

“Slow down,” Jungkook interjects with a laugh, “Too much information that I’m not processing right now.”

You let out an “ugh” before saying, “I’ve had better days for sure.” You leave it at that. “What about you?”

He smiles before turning to you completely, “I’ve had better days, better weeks for sure.” He almost sounds annoyed now, like something is deeply bothering him.

You let a pause presume between the two of you, unsure of what to say. You know you shouldn’t bring it up, but you can’t help it. The bruises on his face, the cuts on his hands—you needed to know what happened to him. Despite your intoxicated state, you could form sentences and think pretty clearly and you weren’t letting Jungkook out of your sight without explaining himself.

“Jungkook,” you say in a whisper, looking around to see if the other guys had left. They had. “Are you gonna tell me what happened to your face?”

He looks down, almost embarrassed. “There was a fight on Tuesday,” he stops when you furrow your eyebrows at him.

“Tuesday?!” You half whisper, “What the hell are you doing fighting on a Tuesday? Jungkook you said—“

“It wasn’t an official fight Y/N,” he interrupts you, “I was fucking jumped with one of my friends,” he says and your eyes widen. You feel your head spinning and your mouth goes dry. From the weed, alcohol, or the conversation? You’re not sure.

“What?” You ask, worry filling your tone, “Jungkook what the fuck! You said you had this under control.”

“Keep your voice down!” He scolds, “I do have it under control, although you can’t really control when you get jumped.”

“W-why? Who would want—“

“His name is Eric. I beat him at the last real fight and I guess he’s a sore fucking loser. He wants a rematch and everything, said he was injured before the fight, so he sent some pussies to jump my friend Jimin and I.”

The information being taken in wasn’t something you wanted to hear. Was this stupid underground boxing that serious? And how stupid could Jungkook be to continue to do this?

“Well you’re not gonna fight him again,” you pause. He doesn’t look at you. “Are you?”

“There’s a lot of money on the line,” he says.

“Jungkook you’ve got to be joking.”

“I’m not Y/N,” he turns to you again, his body now closer than before. His knuckles gripping the railing are pale and cracked. “If I win this fight, I won’t need anymore money before the end of the year. Hell, I’ll probably even have some left over.”

“Okay? And?”

“Then I can be done with fighting,” he sounds genuine but insincere  at the same time. This greatly improves your posture and you feel your heartbeat calming down.

“B-but I figured you would need more money? Your parents Jungkook?” You stumble over some of your words.

“Y/N you don’t understand the money within these things, it’s insane. Trust me, I’ll be set with money for awhile. I just have to win that fight…”

You want to protest him. Tell him he shouldn’t do it, that he should find a normal job, get away from that stuff—but you stay silent. Jungkook always will be as stubborn as you and he seems to have made up his mind about this fighting stuff awhile ago. At the end of the day, whatever happens to him, isn’t necessarily your business.

“You know I’ll never agree with this,” you shake your head, looking down at Jungkook’s hands. They’ve relaxed against the railing and time has slowed down significantly. Every blink of your eyes seem to last 5 seconds and Jungkook could say the same thing.

“I know,” Jungkook steps towards you, overlapping one of his hands with yours, “But like I said, I trust you and you should trust me,” he almost sounds desperate. “Look at me,” he whispers and you slowly turn your head up. Your noses are nearly touching and you can smell him, your vision clouding in the dark.

“Do you trust me?” He asks quietly, licking his lips and you swallow, trying to find your breath.

You nod your head slowly, “Yes.”

You don’t know who leans in first, but when your lips meet, it’s like a siren goes off. The scene feels all too familiar. His lips are soft and they feel just like you remember. He’s gentle with you, his left hand holding your waist to pull you towards him, your bodies flush together. One of your hands finds their way to his hair and you pull him down closer to you. This feels good, really good—but isn’t this wrong? You two have just rekindled your relationship and you two didn’t even last four weeks before you two are snogging—the very reason your friendship became weird in the first place all those years ago.

You try to pull away, “Jungkook—“ he closes the gap once again and it’s like a drug—touch is like heroin in your veins. Both of you are hungry—hungry for each other. You’re not sure when, but you find yourself backed into the wall of the dark-side of the balcony. The door isn’t in view so anyone inside couldn’t see what was going on right now thank god.

“Y/N,” the groan sends your body into overdrive and he begins to trail his lips down your neck and you’ve pulled him so close to you there is barely room to breathe. It’s gotta be the alcohol—or the weed—or just Jungkook—but you’ve never wanted anyone more in your life. You squeeze your thighs together to find some unrelieved friction and Jungkook senses what you’re doing. He stops you, forcing is own leg between your crotch and you subtly moan.

“Fuck, shh,” Jungkook scolds and it makes you laugh as you check if anyone is coming to the door.

“Jungkook,” you whisper and he closes the gap between you again, covering your mouth gently and you genuinely feel butterflies in your stomach. Jungkook’s hand trails from your waist down to the front of you jeans and you pull away suddenly, “Jungkook w-what are you doing?!”

“Do you want me to do this?” He sounds mischievous as he pops open the button to your pants and you can safely say you never thought you would be in this situation with Jeon Jungkook of all people, but you are not about to stop him.

You kiss him this time, pulling on his hair, eliciting another delicious groan from him. His hand makes it way to your center and you shiver in the cold, his hands warm against your underwear. He rubs you through the material, once, twice, three times before he moves aside the fabric—the wetness covering his fingers instantly. You look towards the door again nervous that someone might walk out here and see the two of you compromised—you would die. Especially if it was Taehyung or Jennie.

“Quiet, alright?” Jungkook whispers and you nod biting your lip as he enters a finger into you. You close your eyes, mouth falling open. Your breathing picks up as he enters a second digit. His fingers are long and calloused as you noticed before but it feels so good. He brings one of your legs around his waist so he can get deeper into your center and a small, squeaky moan escapes from your mouth. Jungkook shuts you up by kissing you again and he begins to move his fingers in and out, curling them in all the right places, sending you into a silent mess.

You and Jungkook shouldn’t be doing this—not here, not right now, not ever. But you’re not doing anything to stop it. Neither is he. Is this suppose to be happening then? No—definitely yes. Wait, what? Your brain is so foggy you can’t even think straight.

Jungkook has added a third finger and it’s becoming harder and harder to stay quiet. Jungkook’s face in the crook of your neck, your neck in his—it’s all a little too intimate but it’s hot and heavy and it feels so good. Jungkook begins to use his thumb to find your clit, which he does with no problem—rubbing there and still moving in and out of you. Goddamn, he knows what he is doing.

“Jungkook, I’m gonna—“

“Shh,” he says, “Bite me, anywhere,” he says and you do as he says, your teeth clamping down onto his shoulder as you feel yourself falling off the edge. Your orgasm comes in a huge wave and it’s one of the best you’ve had in a long time—your body is shaking and you whimper into his shoulder, trying to keep as quiet as possible. Jungkook lets you finish before he pulls his hand out of your pants, letting your leg drop. You two stare at each other for a couple seconds, unsure of what to do now. You knew that Jungkook was hard in his pants but you weren’t sure if he wanted you to do anything about it. Should you ask? No that’s fucking weird. Well it’s fucking weird you just let your best friend of a billion years to give you one of the best orgasms of your life.

“Um,” he speaks first, “We should go back inside,” he says.

You nod, “Yeah, we should.”

You follow closely behind him as he slides the door open and you step back into the much warmer apartment.

“Y/N! Jungkook! What were you guys doing?!” Jennie pops out of nowhere until she steps back, “Fuck never mind, I can smell it,” she laughs, her eyes looking between the two of you. “What’s wrong with you two? Are you fighting again? Jesus fucking—“

“No, we’re fine, just high,” Jungkook gives her a reassuring smile and she nods absentmindedly. She is very drunk and then two of you might have to go home sooner than later.

“I need to call an Uber,” you say grabbing your phone from your pocket.

“I can drive you guys if you want,” Jungkook offers and you narrow your eyes at him.

“Absolutely not, you’re high.” You say pulling up the app on your phone.

“I’ve driven high before it’s not—“

“Jungkook, no,” you somewhat snap at him. This kid really knows how to grind your gears. “Thanks for inviting us, I just don’t want Jennie to do something she regrets tomorrow morning.” You try your best to lighten to mood but it’s not helping. As much progress as you and Jungkook had made the past few weeks, that all feels gone now. There’s heaviness with you and him and you hate it.

“Just let me know when you make it home?” Jungkook’s eyes are hard to read. He looks worried, anxious, high obviously, and other potential obscurities.

“I will, I promise,” you give him a smile and he returns one weakly. You look over your shoulder to find Jennie practically draping herself all over Taehyung. Fuck. “Jennie! Come on! We’re leaving,” you stomp over to the two of them and Taehyung doesn’t seemed bothered by Jennie throwing herself at him at all. If anything, they both seem to like it. “Jennie, quit, he has a girlfriend. Taehyung, you have a girlfriend,” you narrow at the both of them.

Taehyung laughs very drunkenly, “You’re right, come on Jen,” Taehyung pushes her away slightly and she stumbles over her feet.

“Our Uber is almost here,” you tell her and she nods.

“Sounds good,” she gives you a thumbs up. 

“Help me walk her Tae?” You ask and he nods.

As you and Taehyung have Jennie up around your shoulders, you look around the apartment to find Jungkook to tell him bye, but he’s nowhere to be seen.

_____

It had been exactly one week since you’ve seen Jungkook. Since he was fist deep into your vagina, pleasuring you with at least 20 people in the room next to you. It has also been the last time you spoke to him. He didn’t reach out for any tutoring this week which was odd—as the two of you set a schedule for it a few weeks back. You were worried. You knew you should reach out to him and talk about what happened—but something was holding you back. You didn’t want to talk over the phone. It had to be done in person and it just had to be done. You didn’t want to lose Jungkook a second time to another drunken mistake.

Mistake? Since when was it a mistake? Was it a mistake?

You had no idea.

It’s why you’ve found yourself at Jungkook’s apartment a week later, waiting for someone to open the door. You wait patiently and no one answers the door. You’re about to give up when a voice startles you.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?”

Taehyung appears to your left and you jump.

“Shit Taehyung,” you hold a hand over your chest, “I’m sorry, I-I was just wondering if Jungkook was home?”

Taehyung adjusts his backpack. He must be getting back from class. “He’s probably at the gym.”

You nod slowly, “Alright, thank you.”

“No problem,” he says and you’re about to walk away and he stops you again, “Everything okay?”

You open your mouth and close it again, “Not sure,” you tell him honestly. He nods without another word, seeming to understand where you’re coming from.

If your assumptions were right, Jungkook would be at a gym about ten minutes from campus, one he frequented as a freshman all that time ago. You wanted everything to be okay, but now, you were sure you have done fucked it up once again.

The gym isn’t crowded and you don’t recognize any cars to be Jungkook’s so your mood begins to dampen as you walk towards the front door. The bell rings and you probably look like an idiot walking in with jeans and sandals, but your eyes ignore the stares as you try to find Jungkook. You walk through the gym towards the back, your neck craning each direction to find him. It smells of sweat and grit, something you haven’t done too much of lately. You’re about to give up until you reach the back, where a cracked door leads into another section of the gym. You open the crack slowly and the sounds of grunting and hard hits fill the room. You stop in your place as your eyes land on Jungkook, downing boxing gloves, a pair of shorts, and nothing else. You gulp.

He’s hitting a heavy bag hard and fast, his movements halting only for a split second before he strikes again. He’s dripping in sweat and you gulp again. Should you interrupt? He’s definitely not expecting you therefore you probably shouldn’t barge in but you’re already here, so what are you supposed to do?

“Come on Jungkook,” another man’s voice comes into play. You’ve never seen this guy with mint colored hair. “Throw a southpaw, let’s go!” 

Jungkook’s stance quickly changes and he’s throwing his right arm and then uppercutting his left arm with all of his weight. 

“Nice Jungkook,” the voice says again. Jungkook steps back with a smile on his face, looking behind him. 

“Hey,” a different voice yells over and you stop to see who it is. A guy slightly shorter than Jungkook appears in the crack of the door, a wide smile across his face.

“Good news, fight is set,” the guy smiles, although his smile reads less than enthusiastic. You notice some bruising along this guys arms, a large scrap on the side of his face. This has to be Jimin, the other guy that was jumped with Jungkook. 

“When is it?” Jungkook breathes heavily, his hair sticking to his forehead as he tries to push it back through his gloves.

“October thirteenth,” Jimin says, “A Friday.”

Jungkook laughs, “A fucking Friday the thirteenth? How cheesy could they get?”

You swallow harshly. October 13th was a less than three weeks away. You’re sure they are talking about the fight with the guy named Eric that Jungkook mentioned.

“I know right,” the nameless guy says, “But I’m sure you’ll kick his ass once again, waste of your time.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice Jimin,” Jungkook sounds annoyed and you’re starting to wonder if you should have came here at all. 

“Come on, let’s do some more sets,” the other guy says says, patting Jungkook on the shoulder.

You take in a deep breath, hoping that this doesn’t backfire. You take your chance and open the door to the room as if you just showed up. Jungkook, Jimin, and the third guy turns to you.

“Y/N?” Jungkook asks, looking confused, “What are you doing here?”

You glance around the room awkwardly, “Uh, I-uh, went to your apartment to see you if you were a-and Taehyung said you were here, so,” you sound like a babbling idiot.

Jungkook’s eyes soften and it’s hard to not stare below his neck, but somehow you manage.

“Jimin, Yoongi this is Y/N,” Jungkook formally introduces you, “She’s a friend.” A friend. That hurt more than it should have.

“Hi,” Jimin gives you a sweet smile and he seems like a person Jungkook would automatically gravitate towards. Yoongi stays quiet. He’s definitely not someone you would strike as Jungkook’s friend. 

“Sorry if I’m interrupting—I didn’t know…” you trail off, feeling more than awkward in this situation.

“No worries,” Jimin shakes his head, “We were almost done anyways.”

Jungkook’s eyes haven’t met yours since you’ve walked in. He’s staring at Jimin and knowing Jungkook, he’s going to try and leave as soon as he can.

“Wanna meet again tomorrow?” Jimin asks towards Jungkook as he packs up his bag on the floor.

“Yeah, sure,” Jungkook mutters, staring aimlessly at the ceiling. “I’m gonna stay here for a little longer though.”

“Alright,” Jimin says, “It was nice to meet you Y/N.”

You smile to him, “You too.”

Jimin and Yoongi leave the room and the silence is suffocating. You cross your arms around your chest feeling vulnerable and insecure. You look at Jungkook and he’s staring at you now. He looks away from you before turning back to the bag, lining up to strike it again.

“Jungkook,” your voice interrupts his chance to punch. He pauses with one more glance to your frame. You begin to walk closer to him wanting to get this over and done with. “What’s wrong with you?” You ask.

Jungkook looks down, “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he mutters and you nearly jump out of your body when he begins to strike the bag in quick, calculated motions. The bag moves backwards with each punch and his face tenses up, his mind clearly on one thing and one thing only. You exhale deeply, trying to stay calm. If that’s the way he’s going to play—you won’t keep your cool for long.

“Jungkook, stop,” you raise your voice over his movements and he suddenly quits, looking up at you again. “Don’t do this right now,” you say stepping closer to him again.

“What do you want Y/N, I’m busy alright,” he scoffs, stepping away from the bag, turning fully to you. You wish he didn’t look good drenched in sweat but it was hard to stay focused when he was looking like that.

“You know exactly what I want. You haven’t spoken to me in a fucking week Jungkook,” your words are fiery despite your cool demeanor.

“Is that really that big of an issue? We barely spoke for two years until recently,” he sounds annoyed, but also timid—you can sense something is bothering him.

You frown, “Yeah until recently because I thought we moved past that.”

He doesn’t say anything. And that’s what boils your blood. Tears are threatening to spill from your eyes—not from sadness, but frustration.  

“So is that it? I let you finger fuck me and now I don’t mean anything to you anymore?” Your words are seething and once you say this, Jungkook’s face softens that slightest bit.

“What? No Y/N—“

“Then what the fuck is wrong with you? What have I done?!” It takes all of you not to breakdown right there. You just got Jungkook back. You couldn’t lose him a second time.

“Y/N listen,” Jungkook takes off his boxing gloves, throwing them in the floor, “You haven’t done anything alright. It’s just—complicated,” he shakes his head, stepping closer to you. He tries to grab one of your hands but you pull away from him.

“No, no you don’t get to do that,” you say, “What happened to communicating Jungkook? Wasn’t that our issue all that time ago?”

He looks down and back up. You really wish he would put a shirt on. “I know, I know…” he wanders off, “If I could tell you I would, but I’m just under a lot of stress right now and—“

“Then tell me what’s wrong,” you don’t want to interrupt him, but you feel like you two are going in an endless circle. Jungkook steps towards you once again and this time you don’t back away from him.

“Look, I’m sorry alright. I shouldn’t have cut you off this past week—I just thought it would clear my head,” he says. With hesitation, he grabs your wrists gently, “That was stupid I get that okay? I’m sorry, especially after… what happened,” he says and you can tell he means it. Jungkook is a genuine person, you can’t argue that.

Your face warms up and you feel almost embarrassed. Were you overreacting?

“I just don’t understand,” you mutter, “I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions but Jungkook, you’re worrying me. I don’t know what’s going on with us and this whole boxing thing is keeping me awake at night.”

He intertwines your fingers together and it’s comforting. Comfort you’ve been missing ever since a week ago. “Y/N, please just trust me okay? If I can get through these next few weeks I’m set and I promise you don’t have to worry about me anymore.”

“How can you promise that?” You look up fully at him and you’re a lot closer than moments ago.

“I don’t to make promises I can’t keep.”

You sure hoped he was right.

_____

Two weeks have gone by since your talk with Jungkook in the gym. He had resumed talking to you normally, although there was still something off about him. Then again, there was something off with you too. The intimate situation the two of you found yourself in a few weeks back, still hadn’t been fully discussed and it bothered you like no other. It bothered you because you couldn’t stop thinking about it. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t want it to happen again—or even further. Fuck, you shouldn’t be thinking about Jungkook like this. But don’t you have a right to? Jesus you were so confused. It’s why you have found yourself at Beta Tau Sigma once again on a Saturday night, Jennie already lost in tow somewhere, and you’re standing with Namjoon. Even though your mind was clouded with Jungkook, Namjoon was good company at keeping you distracted.

“What’s up with you lately?” Namjoon asks handing you another drink. You furrow your brows before taking a sip. Your face scrunches up at the taste—not the best.

“What do you mean?” You ask.

Namjoon gives you a straight smile, “Don’t play stupid,” he says. You don’t even try to make up a lie. Namjoon is too smart for that.

“I don’t know, Joon,” you sigh, “I’ve just been going through a lot lately I guess,” you mutter over the loud music.

“I get it,” he says, “Wanna talk about it?”

You’re about to answer him when you suddenly spot a familiar head of dark brown hair across the room. It’s Jungkook and he’s with a girl—you recognize her from somewhere. She’s standing in front of him and he’s smirking down at her and says something that makes her laugh. Then you know where you’ve seen her before—the bathroom girl. Fuck her, you don’t even realize you roll your eyes.

Namjoon laughs, “Whoa, what was that for?” He raises an eyebrow at you.

“W-what?” You look back to him and he follows where your eyes had been.

“Looking at Jungkook, eh?” He smirks, “Something going on between you two?”

You shake your head immediately, “No. Absolutely not.”

You didn’t know if that was a lie or not. Sure, Jungkook and you may have swapped some bodily fluids recently, but nothing else. You were also keeping a secret of his, one that if Namjoon found out about—would have him kicked out of the frat faster than he could blink. You glance back over to Jungkook one more time and find his eyes scanning the room. They land on you within 5 seconds and he shifts uncomfortably in front of bathroom girl.

“You sure?” Namjoon finds this situation funny. You don’t.

“Shut up,” you push on his chest slightly and he grabs your hand, pulling you towards him.

“Oh I can make you shut up,” he mumbles and you laugh as he closes the distance between the two of you. Namjoon’s lips are always soft and plump but that doesn’t mean he is always the most gentle. Namjoon is rough and sometimes—it’s just what you need. Jungkook’s lips on—

You pull away quickly from him. What the fuck?

“You okay?” He asks with concern.

You nod your head, “Yeah, I, just uh need some air,” you say. It was true—your head was now spinning and the alcohol wasn’t helping. You couldn’t believe you thought of Jungkook when kissing Namjoon.

“Alright, I’ll be by the bar.”

You leave Namjoon’s side and push your way through the hoards of people and loud music. You spot a door towards the back of the kitchen and use that as your opportunity. The air is cool but crisp. Just what you needed. There’s quite a few people outside surrounding a large bonfire keeping warm. You relax against the porch railings, staring aimlessly at the ground beneath you. You pour your drink out, knowing you don’t need to drink anymore of it. You nearly shit yourself when a voice comes up directly behind you.

“Y/N.”

You whip around, clutching your chest. “Jesus Christ Jungkook,” you say. His hands are stuffed in the pockets of his jeans, a large flannel and sweatshirt covering his torso. He approaches you hastily and you don’t take your eyes off of his.

“I didn’t know you were coming tonight,” he says, obviously trying to make small talk.

“I didn’t either until Namjoon asked me this evening,” you say and you instantly regret bringing up his name. Jungkook stiffens.

“Still good friends with him I see,” he bites his lip nervously, looking over to the bonfire. You squint your eyes at him. He sounds off and annoyed.

“I see you’re still friends with bathroom girl,” you shoot back. You’re not even drunk, barely tipsy, but the thought of Jungkook being annoyed at you and Namjoon nearly sends you. At least you know Namjoon well—the only Jungkook knows about that girl is her fucking mouth.

“Gotta an issue with that?” He runs his tongue against his mouth and he looks at your from the side.

You turn to him and this feels all too familiar. “Yeah, actually I do.”

“Well, I have an issue kissing Namjoon in front of me—are we even?” He cocks his head to the side and you’ve never felt more annoyed yet turned on at the same time.

“Whatever,” you brush him off running a hand through your hair, turning back to your front staring at the fire. “Last time I checked I don’t take orders from you.”

“I know,” he says and you feel him push his body against your side. Your breathing instantly picks up and you bite the inside of your cheek to steady yourself. One of Jungkook’s hands finds its way to your shoulder, trailing it down to your elbow, then pushing it through the crack of your arm to settle on your waist.

“Jungkook,” you say quietly, not wanting to bring any attention to the two of you. Jungkook’s head leans down, his temple brushing against yours. His hand rubs gentle circles on your waist and you inhale his scent deeply. Fuck. “Jungkook… are you drunk?”

He shakes his head, “No, are you?” You believe him. He doesn’t smell like alcohol nor does he seem tipsy.

“No,” you say. Jungkook pulls you impossibly closer to him and your throat feels like its closing up.

“Can I kiss you?” Jungkook asks and you turn your head up, your noses brushing together. What? When has he ever been this upfront? You hesitate to answer but soon nod slowly—just once—you needed to feel it again—just once again. He closes the gap between you and you nearly melt into him. One of your hands grabs his face gently, pulling him down to you. Your own hands find their way to his fluffy hair, entangling into the locks. He presses himself into you and you feel your heart beating out of your chest. You let out a small whine when he pulls on your lip with his teeth and it shakes you back to reality.

You pull away from him—your entire body on fire. He’s got you trapped against the railing and you don’t trust the old wood to support your weight much longer.

“Jungkook,” you whisper and you feel something hard pressing into your front and your throat goes dry.

“Come home with me,” he says, “Please.” Desperation. That’s what laces his tone and you’re sure your heart left from your chest. But—you know this isn’t a good idea. Blame it on being sober, but you’re not sure you should go there with Jungkook. Not right now at least. Your head was spinning and as much as you wanted to—you couldn’t.

“Jungkook,” your eyes focus on his chest, watching your hands grip his shirt gently. “I—We can’t, we shouldn’t,” you bite your lip nervously.

“Please Y/N,” he nuzzles his forehead into yours, his grip on your getting tighter, “I need you, please—“

“Jungkook, no,” you push him off of you carefully and he looks hurt and confused. “I’m sorry, I—I want to but—“

“But what?” Once again, he looks sad and maybe a little angry now? “II’m not Namjoon? Is that it?”

You shake your head, not able to find a good answer in your head. His hands drop from your side and so does your stomach. Without another glance at your frame, Jungkook walks away, pulling at the roots of his hair.

You get home alone that night. Fuck. You think you really may have messed up this time. No, Jungkook wasn’t Namjoon but Namjoon could never be Jungkook. The history the two of you have... god you were so confused. You’re not sure you’ve ever felt gravity pull you to someone more since recently, that someone being Jungkook. As confused as your feelings were, you cry some in your bed. You don’t sleep that night, worried that whatever wedge is driving itself between you and Jungkook again—won’t be fixable this time.

_____

Jungkook, maybe much not to your surprise, cuts you off again the next week. You haven’t spoken or seen him since the party. Since he wanted you to go home with him and you nearly did, but thankfully you used your head some. You missed seeing his face dearly and missed his smile even more. When did things get so complicated with you and him? Ever since fucking graduation in high school—nothing has been the same. It’s been years and years and it’s something you’ve never gotten over. The more you think about it, the obvious reasons begin to show. Maybe Jungkook means more to you than you thought? Maybe he wasn’t just supposed to be your best friend? What if you two had been destined for something else all this time? Or maybe you weren’t meant to be friends at all?

Your thoughts are interrupted when a familiar face walks into your shift at the diner. Taehyung is by himself, his backpack thrown lazily over one of his shoulders. He looks tired, but just like you, getting through the day. His eyes meet yours and give him a small smile.

“Sit wherever,” you tell him and he decides to sit along the bar, sitting across from where you stand.

“Good evening,” he gives you a small smile, running a hand over his face.

“Hey Tae,” you breathe out, handing him a menu. He holds up his hand, not wanting it.

“Just get me a latte, extra espresso please,” he says and you nod.

“Coming right up.”

It doesn’t even take you a minute to make lattes now. The process has become so familiar it’s become second nature. Mainly due to your own obsession with lattes and your determination to perfect them yourself. You top the mug off with some foam before sliding it over to Taehyung. He doesn’t wait for it to cool before taking a big gulp.

“Rough day?” You ask, leaning forward on your elbows.

“You don’t even know,” he grumbles, “I had a quiz in my hardest class today that I didn’t know about, therefore didn’t study for,” he pauses, “I had to pick up all the slack on a group project that’s due on Saturday and then I have had to deal with Jungkook’s dumbass all week and he was at his worst this morning,” he rolls his eyes.

The mention of Jungkook makes your heart flutter yet stomach feel nauseated, “What’s wrong with Jungkook?”

Taehyung raises an eyebrow at you, “Don’t you know?”

“Um… he hasn’t talked to me in a week,” you look down at your hands, your mouth dry.

“Jesus fuck,” Taehyung groans, “No wonder he’s been in such a fucking mood. What did he do?”

You weren’t sure how to go about your answer. Um, yeah, so like Jungkook wanted me to go home with him to have sex and I did too and I didn’t and I don’t know why. Sounds great.

“It wasn’t him. It was me,” you pause, “He asked me to go home with him.”

Taehyung’s eyes widen slightly, a small smirk on his face, “Did you?”

You shake your head, “No, I couldn’t bring myself to. I wanted to but…” you trail off, slightly embarrassed to be telling Taehyung this.

“Goddammit,” he nearly laughs, “No wonder he’s pissy. Between you and tomorrow, kid’s got his work cut out.” You pick up Taehyung joking around but you still furrow your eyebrows.

“What’s tomorrow?” You ask.

“The 13th. Did he not tell you?” Fuck. His fight. Without talking to Jungkook everyday, you had forgotten about the fight.

“He mentioned it.”

“Are you going?” The question catches you off guard.

“What, oh no,” you shake your head, “No, he didn’t ask and I don’t think that’s something I wanna see anyways.”

“Trust me, he wants you there,” he says, “He’s just being a dick.”

“He’s got a funny way of showing it,” you snap. “Every time something happens between us… he shuts me off. I don’t fucking get it.”

“Y/N he does this to everyone when he’s stressed,” Taehyung pauses, “Especially since, you know,” he shrugs. The fights.

You nod, “I get it,” you slump, “It’s still frustrating.”

“You don’t have to tell me that—at least you don’t live with him,” he gives you a laugh and you send a smile in return.

“How do you feel about it?” You ask him genuinely, “The boxing I mean…”

Taehyung squints his eyes briefly, “I think it’s stupid personally,” this answer warms your heart until he continues, “But if I was as good as Jungkook I would probably do it too. The money in these things are insane.”

You raise your eyebrows, “So I’ve heard.”

Taehyung nods before he gets a text on his phone. He reads it before smiling.

“Your girlfriend?” You probe curiously.

He clears his throat, “Uh, yeah,” he responds quickly before turning his phone over. “So, what exactly is going on between you two?”

“Uh, what do you mean?” You laugh sarcastically.

Taehyung deadpans his face, “You know what I mean. I know you guys have this weird chemistry, it’s obvious. Plus he hasn’t shut up about you since you started tutoring him. Y/N this, Y/N that… it’s disgusting.”

Did Jungkook really talk about you?

“Ask him, not me because I don’t even fucking know. I could tell you what Kim Namjoon and I are before I could define mine and Jungkook’s relationship.” You let out a laugh and other eye roll.

“I’m assuming you and hyung are… what do they say? Friends with…?”

“Yeah yeah whatever you wanna call it,” you swat your hand slightly embarrassed.

“Jungkook hates it you know,” he says, switching tones. “You and Namjoon.”

You slightly snort, “And why is that?” You could tell Jungkook didn’t like seeing you with Namjoon, even before last weekend after he voiced it.

“Because he knows Namjoon is the type of guy you’ve always wanted, not him.” This takes you completely off guard.

“Why would Jungkook care about that?” You furrow.

Taehyung shrugs, staying silent this time. You weren’t stupid—you knew what Taehyung was implying by saying what he said. It makes your stomach drop. Maybe Jungkook felt more for you than he supposed to as well?

“So are you gonna come tomorrow?” He asks.

“No Taehyung,” you say, “I don’t want to see Jungkook get the shit beat out of him.”

“Jungkook won’t get the shit beat out of him, I can promise you that.”

You eyes glance over to the door as a small group of people walk into the diner. You don’t say anything else to Taehyung as you walk over to greet them. You seat them and make your way back to Taehyung, but you can’t chat much longer as you now have a table to tend to.

“Listen Y/N,” Taehyung stops you before you can walk back over with menus for the group, “If you wanna come, just text me. Like I said Jungkook wants you there, whether he’s said so or not. Also, another latte please, you’re slacking woman.”

You swat him with the menus before walking away from him. Goddamn, these next 24 hours were going to be hell.

_____

You couldn’t remember the last time you were ever this nervous for someone aside from yourself in a very long time. You remember how nervous you were in high school when you got injured and Jennie had to double with a girl on the bench of the tennis team. You remember being nervous for your parents when you left for college. And now, you don’t ever recall a moment in your life where you have been this nervous for Jeon Jungkook of all people.

It was Friday at 3:43 PM and you day was slow but painless, and you had no official plans set for the evening. Taehyung had texted you, wondering if you wanted to hitch a ride along with him to the match. You had yet to answer him. His text mocking you from your screen and you wanted to pretend that you knew nothing of the boxing match but that was impossible.

[You 3:59 PM] What time should I be ready

You send the message before you could regret it and delete it. Jennie has yet to be home from going to the store and you would need a good, yet believable excuse for your absence tonight.

[Taehyung 4:00 PM] i’ll pick you up around 8

[You 4:00 PM] Sounds good. Have you spoken to Jungkook today?

[Taehyung 4:02 PM] no he’s been quiet all day. have you?

[You 4:02 PM] Nope

You don’t receive another text from him and you slump down on your couch. It had been nearing two full weeks since Jungkook had spoken to you. You felt like all of this was your fault, sending him mixed signals and unsure of your own feelings for him. From the secretive finger fuck to the gentle kiss you shared last week, Jungkook was on your mind 24/7—aside from taking exams of course—but he was all you could think about lately. Growing up, you obviously loved Jungkook and was practically glued to his hip, but even then you don’t recall thinking about him every single fucking second.

You pull at the roots of your hair and let out a frustrated groan. Maybe you should reach out? After all, without your initiation of friendship all those years ago, you wouldn’t be here now.

You pick up your phone and find Jungkook’s contact and before you can stop yourself, you tap the call button. Your hands are clammy and you know he probably won’t answer, but it’s worth a try. The line rings for about thirty seconds before it goes dead. That dumbass doesn’t even have voicemail set up.

Pissed off even more, you slam your phone against the coffee table and let out an exasperated ‘fuck’ before going to your room to take a nap. Fuck Jeon Jungkook, is the last thought you have before you drift off into sleep.

_____

Taehyung picked you up at 8:02, though you told Jennie it was Namjoon who picked you up and the two of you were having a night in. You think she believed it but left her before she could ask anymore questions.

“I just don’t fucking get it Taehyung, one second he’s fine and another he’s like a child throwing a fit,” you filled Taehyung in on how you tried to call him but to no avail.

“You don’t have to tell me how he is Y/N, I fucking live with the guy,” he groans from his drivers seat. “I just think he’s going through a lot right now… with school, his parents, the boxing, you… he’s never handle stress that well you know that.”

You let out a sigh, leaning against the window, “It’s just so frustrating trying to help him only to get cut off like this…”

Taehyung looks at you with an eyeful glance though you don’t notice. “Y/N, in his eyes you’ve cut him off too, you do realize that right?”

You furrow your eyebrows. “What? No I haven’t?”

“Come on the little brat can’t keep his mouth shut. I know what happened with you two a couple weeks ago,” he says. You don’t say anything, cheeks getting warm. “And the weeks before that on our fucking balcony—“

“Okay what then Tae!” You interrupt him, too embarrassed by the memory.

“Jungkook is trying Y/N,” he says with a hint of a smirk, “He thinks you’re rejecting him,” Taehyung says matter-of-factly.

“Rejecting? C’mon Taehyung you know that I—“

“I know that you and Jungkook like each other, even though neither one of you have said anything, Jennie says it too.”

You narrow your eyebrows at your friend. “I don’t know what I think about Jungkook okay?” You’re being honest. You know you like Jungkook… but you’re scared of what that entails for the future. You want Jungkook in your future, you just don’t know what the right path is.

Taehyung doesn’t say anything else as he pulls his car into a fairly full parking garage. It’s dimly lit and slightly freaks you out. Taehyung had to drive to the other side of the city to get here and you don’t recognize the neighborhood around.

“Stay close to me, alright?” Taehyung opened your door for you and you nod without any argument. You follow Taehyung out of the parking garage into the chilly air and you huddle by his side. The two of you walk down a couple streets before he turns down a dark, dimly lit alleyway.

“Taehyung what the fuck,” you whisper and come to a halt. His brown eyes bleed into yours despite the darkness and he takes your hand into his.

“It’s okay,” he says reassuringly, “I promise.”

You nod reluctantly and the you continue to walk down the alley, coming to a stop at the end where you spot the familiar face of Min Yoongi. He’s standing down a small flight of stairs beneath you two and he greets Taehyung with a stiff smile.

“Taehyung, what’s up,” he says, his eyes immediately looking over at you, “Y/N?”

You tighten your grip around Taehyung’s hand, Yoongi’s stare quite intimidating.

“She should be on Jungkook’s list.”

You stay quiet knowing Taehyung doing the talking is the best strategy. Yoongi looks down at a clipboard—old fashioned but effective you guess—before nodding.

“You guys are good. Hurry and find a seat, there’s a lot of people down here tonight.”  

“You got it,”  Taehyung gives him a small smile before you drag behind him down the stairs and enter through a heavy door. You already hear plenty of commotion as you enter a huge space a few feet from the door. Your eyes look around and you could see nearly a hundred people just in your line of sight.

“Holy shit,” Taehyung says.

“What?” You get nervous by his tone.

“I’ve never seen this many people here, goddamn.”

“Why are there so many people here?” You spot a large boxing ring, dead center of the room and your mouth goes dry.

“I guess people like rematches?” Taehyung raises an eyebrow at you.

“Where’s Jungkook?” You ask, noticing how some eyes are staring at you, making you shift uncomfortably in your boots.

“Probably in the locker rooms… wanna see him?” He asks.

You bite your lip. “Does he wanna see us?” You hope Taehyung says yes. It’s killing you inside not being able to see him, hear him.

“Guess we’ll find out, c’mon,” he smirks and you follow him closely. As you look around, you do notice people you somewhat recognize. Whether it’s from walking around on campus or some of your classes, all these faces are not too unfamiliar. Taehyung takes you away from the crowd of people, through another set of doors and down another hallway. With this much walking and standing, you would have worn something other than booties. You enter the “locker room” area and you suddenly feel queasy. What if Jungkook is mad that you’re here? What if he doesn’t want to see you after all? What if—

“Y/N?” Your thoughts are broken by a honey-like voice and you focus in on the source. Jungkook sits a few feet away from you and Taehyung, back leaning against a wall. He looks confused, but also pleasantly surprised. “What are you doing here?” He gets up and does the unexpected—he embraces you in a tight hug. You return it without a second though, holding him close to you. He pulls away from you after a few moments and gives Taehyung a small hug too.

“Hey,” you say shyly.

“How are you feeling?” Taehyung asks his friend and Jungkook shrugs.

“I’m alright.” Jungkook looks at you again. “I didn’t think you’d ever come to one of these,” he laughs awkwardly.

“Me either,” you say with no expression. As much as you wanted to be happy—you couldn’t. You were pissed at Jungkook for ignoring you and you were pissed that Jungkook was about to fight. You eye his frame, a white t shirt and navy sweatpants hang low on his hips. He looks calm, too calm for your liking.

“Will you give us a minute?” Jungkook suddenly turns to Taehyung and he nods glancing at you.

“I’ll get some seats.”

Taehyung leaves you and Jungkook alone and you nearly feel like crying. What the fuck is this mess?

“Y/N listen to me,” Jungkook says stepping towards you, “I’m so sorry about thess past two weeks. I-I’ve been a dick for no fucking reason and it’s not fair to you.”

You don’t say anything as you stand there with your arms crossed over your chest.

“Fuck I know I’m idiot and there’s no excuse… I’ve just been so stressed lately and you’re the best fucking part of my day—“

“Well why don’t you fucking act like it Jungkook? I’m sick of something happening between us and you acting like a I don’t exist for god knows what reason,” you raise your voice slightly.

“Y/N I,” he pauses, his hands finding their way to your shoulders, “I haven’t been honest with you and,” he pauses again and you feel your heart speed up. What’s he talking about? “I just wanna say—“

“Jungkook, you got five minutes,” the two of you turn to Park Jimin who seemed to come in at the wrong time.

“Fuck,” he says, “We’ll talk after okay?”

You nod hesitantly and before you can push yourself away from him, Jungkook places a kiss on your forehead and it makes your insides melt. Fuck, you meet his brown eyes, biting your lip nervously. 

A revelation springs into your mind; you think you might love him. He pulls you in for another hug, though this is one much shorter as Jimin is ushering you out of the locker room in the blink of an eye.

As much as you wanted to be mad at Jungkook, those thoughts had quickly subsided and replaced with butterflies and nausea. Did you really love Jungkook? You always have, but the feeling in the pit of your heart is pulling you to a different type of love. You cared about him, sometimes even more than yourself. You’ve always wanted the best for him, even if that meant sacrificing your feelings in the process. Now you were stuck between a rock in a hard place, much like you were back in high school when you had a crush on Jungkook. Fuck. And now you have to watch him fight someone like dogs,  

You shake yourself from your thoughts, as loud music flows through your ears and you look around for Taehyung. Luckily, his ashy hair color is easy to spot amongst the crowd and you push yourself to him, squeezing in between bodies and their chatter.

“My bet’s on Jeon,” a voice says.

“Fuck no, Eric isn’t gonna let the same guy beat him twice.”

You try to ignore the snide comments about Jungkook and when you get to Taehyung, he greets you with a smile.

“Hey, everything good?” He asks.

You lick you dry lips, “I don’t know,” you say honestly. Taehyung’s eyes drop and he nods. 

Suddenly, all the lights go out in the venue and a roar of screams and cheers fills the void. You stay still, pressing your body close to Taehyung. It’s not that you feel unsafe, but this environment—it wasn’t for you at all. You heart rate quickens when a man, give a few years on your age, gets into the boxing ring before you, the crowd cheering even louder for him. He bumps a microphone with his palm before bringing it to his mouth.

“Welcome, welcome!” He beams with a smile, “What an outstanding turnout we have tonight! You guys choose a good one to watch because tonight is the rematch of two of the best fighters I’ve seen in a long time…”

“Let’s give a welcome to our first fighter, weighing in at 148 pounds, 5 foot 11, Jeon Jungkook!”

Being an underground fighting ring, there isn’t a posse escorting Jungkook to the ring. He’s got Jimin by his left side, Min Yoongi on the right. Jungkook is shirtless, wearing only a pair of navy shorts, black and white boxing gloves on his hands. He enters the ring with cheers and you inhale and exhale deeply. You look up at Taehyung and he gives you a nod of reassurance to calm down. Jungkook jumps around in place a few times, shaking his arms and shoulders out. From your seat, you can’t read his eyes or facial expression—but he looks calm and unnerved.

“Coming in next, weighing in at 145 pounds, 6 feet tall, Kim Eric!”

Jungkook’s opponent walks in next, three guys surrounding him. He walks slow and steady, his bare chest tattooed beautifully, his boxing gloves a dark red. He enters the ring to cheers and this Eric guy’s gaze doesn’t leave Jungkook’s body one time. Jungkook hasn’t spared one glance at the guy and you find yourself somewhat smiling. Jungkook has always been a cocky-fuck when it’s come to sports which would usually annoy you, but here right now—he looked hot as fuck standing there as if he had no care in the world. Jungkook stands on the left corner of the ring, sitting on a small stool as Jimin and Yoongi talk to him. Jungkook nods, absorbing their information. Eric and his guys do the same.

Suddenly, both men stand and Jimin is putting a mouth guard in Jungkook’s mouth and with one last nod, he finally looks over at Eric, who has already made his way to the center of the ring with the announcer. Jungkook stalks over slowly, his eyes dark and hungry.

“Alright guys, I want a clean fight. No kicking, no cheap shots. If you get knocked down, I give you ten seconds to get up. You look me in the eyes and say you’re good before anymore fighting happens alright. We go for five rounds, unless more is needed. A knockout wins. Touch gloves.”

Jungkook sticks out his gloves for Eric but Eric only stares at him, ignoring the sign of solidarity.

“Fuck you,” Eric says to Jungkook and sends a chill down your spine. Jungkook rolls his eyes, backing away from him, but stays silent.

“Alright… ready… fight!”

Time slows as a bell rings loudly, the cheers get even louder, and you find yourself gripping Taehyung’s arm for support. Jungkook starts to move around the ring slowly, but Eric isn’t having that—immediately rushing to Jungkook to get a few jabs in. Jungkook manages to dodge them perfectly before Eric can corner him. Jungkook keeps his gloves high and never looks away from Eric. Eric comes after Jungkook again, jabbing once—twice—the third time hitting Jungkook square in the face.

“Shit,” you breathe out, eyes widening.

This time, Jungkook comes for Eric, his jabs coming quick and calculated, landing Eric in the body once. Jungkook jabs again and hits him in the face. Eric moves around quickly, Jungkook not quick to follow him. Eric comes after him again, Jungkook blocking his jabs, but missing at the end, leading to Jungkook getting hit in the face once again as well as a body shot.

Eric is coming in hot, throwing punches and jabs left and right, making Jungkook dance around to dodge them. After a few moments, Jungkook begins to fight back, landing Eric square in the face twice. You notice that Jungkook must have busted Eric’s lip as blood now protrudes from his mouth. This seems to send Eric into overdrive and attacks Jungkook quick and fast. You cover your mouth when Eric has Jungkook trapped against the rope, landing body punches after body punches.

“Alright!! Enough, break it up!!” The announcer gets Eric off of Jungkook and Eric starts to laugh in a very showman's way. Jungkook is breathing heavy and he tilts his head—a habit of his that comes out when he’s frustrated or angry. This seems to be both.

Jungkook and Eric continue to throw jabs at one another. Within a few seconds, the whole fight seems to change as Eric manages to slip past one of Jungkook’s blocks and lands him straight on the cheekbone. Jungkook’s body almost freezes before he falls back on the floor and you gasp at the sight.

“Fuck! Taehyung—“

“He’s fine, he’s fine,” he says but his eyes never met yours.

The announcer is on the floor with Jungkook counting down from ten and Jungkook finally sits up when he reaches the number four.

“You good son?” The guy asks Jungkook.

He nods, “Yeah, let’s go.”

Jungkook gets up and walks around, stretching his neck around, waiting for the ref to announce the second round.

“That’s what you get motherfucker,” Eric says walking past him to his corner. Again, Jungkook says nothing before sitting down. Jimin takes out his mouth guard and lets Jungkook drink some water.

“Why is Jungkook letting him hit him like that?!” You ask Taehyung, looking up to him, “He’s getting his ass kicked!”

Taehyung shakes his head, “Jungkook’s smart Y/N… he’s trying to run Eric’s energy out. If Eric keeps swinging the way he right now, he’ll be passed out on his own soon.”

The second round commences and this time, it’s Jungkook who comes out fast. Jungkook soon has Eric trapped against the rope, landing jab after jab. The ref intervenes and lets them get some air. Jungkook’s skin is sweaty and red hot and you don’t think you’ve ever seen him look as mad as he does right now.

Eric counters quickly, catching up with Jungkook again, landing punch after punch. Jungkook escapes but Eric sticks out a foot, causing Jungkook to trip. The whole crowd—yourself included—start to yell at the action. The referee pulls Eric back and points his finger at him. You can’t hear what he’s saying, but you know it’s a scolding by the way his mouth is moving quickly. You look over at Jungkook who shakes his head disapprovingly. He’s talking to Jimin as Yoongi cares to a cut on Jungkook’s eyebrow.

“He’s a fucking asshole,” you make out Jungkook saying.

The third round starts and it seems both Eric and Jungkook are equally fighting this time. Jungkook’s combinations are cleaner than Eric’s, anyone can see that, but the way Eric keeps landing in on Jungkook—makes you feel like this isn’t going to end well for him.

“Come on Jungkook!” You find yourself yelling in the chaos, your whole body shaking as Jungkook dances around the ring to get away from Eric. Eric has him trapped again, but with Jungkook’s strength, gets Eric off of him to turn the tables. There’s sweat and blood coming off both fighters and it’s got to be the most horrifying thing you’ve ever seen.

“Come on you little bitch,” Eric spits at Jungkook, “Is that all you’ve fucking got?”

Jungkook says nothing again, jabbing when he needs to.

“Fucking hell why won’t you speak to me you fucker?” Eric speaks again.

“I don’t have shit to say to you,” Jungkook finally retorts back. “You lost my respect when you sent those pussies to jump Park and I.”

Eric swings hard and Jungkook ducks, barely missing it by an inch. Eric is tired, Jungkook too, but Jungkook can see a weakness in him now.

“Come on it was all in good fun,” he says with a smirk, “You know what else would be good fun?”

Jungkook doesn’t say anything.

“Kicking your ass,” he pauses and before Jungkook can do anything else, Eric swings down hard, landing on Jungkook’s body knocking the breath out of him. Jungkook stumbles backwards, holding his stomach, he lands again on the ground with a clunk. Eric stands over him, before taking out his mouthpiece, “And stealing your bitch you invited tonight.”

“Goddammit,” you mutter watching the scene unfold in front of you. No one knows what they’re saying to each other over the noise and you honestly couldn’t care. You just want Jungkook to get up and finish this shit.

Jungkook stands up, though with a visible wince in his face. He’s breathing heavy and is filled with pure rage. The fourth bell rings and it doesn’t take long for Jungkook to attack him. Jungkook is fast and furious, landing punch after punch and you’ve never been happier for someone to get their ass kicked. Jungkook lands a punch straight across the face, causing Eric to stumble backwards. Even though you know nothing about boxing, Eric looks exhausted where Jungkook looks ready for more. With everything left in Eric, he starts coming after Jungkook. Jungkook blocks until he can’t block no more, but something in Jungkook’s stance changes. Jungkook steps forward, his right hand landing straight on Eric’s face cause his form to break. Jungkook steps quickly again, his left hand bringing an uppercut to Eric’s jaw.

The room nearly falls silent as Eric loses balance, going down straight on his back and head. When he hits the ground, the room erupts in a roar so loud it nearly deafens you.

“Holy shit!” Taehyung exclaims. The ref is down on the ground, counting down from 10, and then it’s at 5 and then 3 and then—

“Ladies and gentlemen, Jeon Jungkook wins this rematch!” The ref grabs Jungkook’s hand and holds it up over his head and you find yourself jumping up and down, pulling Taehyung down for a hug.

“Taehyung oh my fucking god!” You exclaim. He smiles brightly at you.

“I told you, he knows what he’s doing,” he says and you nod. You couldn’t deny it now—as stupid as Jungkook was for getting involved in this, his talent for the sport was extraordinary. “Come on, let’s get to his locker room,” Taehyung pulls you by your hand and you make your way back to where you were earlier.

Jungkook hasn’t arrived yet, but you find Yoongi already in there, setting out a first aid kit.

“Hey guys,” he says, “Great fight, huh?”

“Yeah, it was brilliant,” Taehyung says. The door opening catches your attention and Jungkook walks through with Jimin.  Your eyes instantly meet and you can’t even stop yourself from running to him and throwing your arms around him. He exhales deeply with a sharp wince, returning your bone crushing grip with his own.

“Alright lovebirds, he needs to get fixed up,” Yoongi’s voice interrupts you two. You hesitantly let him go and he sits down in front of Yoongi, sitting forward on his knees. He’s still breathing heavy, dripping sweat everywhere.

“Fucking hell Jungkook, since when do you box southpaw?” Taehyung pushes his shoulder slightly and Jungkook only laughs as Yoongi wipes away the blood on his eyebrow.

“I’ve been working on it for awhile,” he says, “Just never had the right time to use it… until tonight at least,” he says giving you a glance. “Eric is all talk, no bite. I can’t fucking stand him.”

“Well, I don’t think you’ll be boxing him again anytime soon,” Jimin says, “He’s embarrassed himself twice now.”

“Yeah, agreed,” Yoongi chimes in, placing one of those bandaids that pull the skin together like stitches above Jungkook’s eyebrow. “No one will want to box you now knowing you can southpaw.”

Jungkook looks at you and you furrow your eyebrows at him. He said he wasn’t going to fight after this, but the way they are talking—it sounds as if he is.

“Well, I think my boxing career is probably over after tonight,” Jungkook speaks up as if he could read your mind. He tears his eyes away from you as the others look confused.

“What?!”

“Why?”

“Jungkook c’mon!”

“Guys,” he breathes out, “I made a promise, okay? Besides, I have enough money now, I don’t need anything else.”

Your features soften as you listen to his words. His promise was to you. A smile grows on your face as you watch his body calm down from his intensified state. Once Yoongi is finished, he packs everything up. The five of you talk amongst yourselves before Taehyung turns to you.

“You ready to go home?” He asks.

“I can take you home,” Jungkook says before you can answer.

“Okay,” you give him a small smile that he returns.

“Okay then, I’m gonna head out, I won’t be home tonight Jungkook,” he says.

“I know I know, at your girlfriends,” Jungkook swats his hand and Taehyung flips him off before leaving.

Jungkook stands up throwing on a shirt and slipping into Birkenstocks. “Come on,” he says to you, holding out his head. You gladly take it and it feels more like home than home ever has.

_____

“Fuck Jungkook, how much money is this?” You ask him as he hands you a white envelope as he unbuckles himself in the driver seat. The envelope is thick and you peak out of curiosity, your jaw dropping.

“I told you,” he says snatching it back from you, “As much food as I’ve bought you lately, hopefully this will last.”

You swat at his sarcastic comment before letting out a laugh. Instead of going home, you asked Jungkook to go anywhere but there. You’re parked outside of his apartment complex, which was fine with you. The two of you needed to talk. Not much talking goes on as a silence falls between you two.

“Y/N.”

“Jungkook.”

The two of you laugh as you speak at the same time.

“You first,” you say, turning your body to face him fully.

He takes a deep breath before speaking, “I know I said it earlier but I really am sorry about this past week. There’s not an excuse that justifies me acting like a complete dick to you, especially when you’ve been nothing but nice to me.”

You stay quiet, unsure of what to say.

“And when I said you’re the best part of my day… I fucking mean it. I’m sorry for coming onto you like I have, I just,” he doesn’t finish, his eyes looking everywhere but you.

“Jungkook,” you get his attention again, reaching over the console to grab his hand, “Don’t apologize for that. Yeah, you’ve been a dick each time something happens between us but that’s the apology I care about.”

“I just don’t know how to say it,” he mutters, caressing your hand gently.

“So you’re really not going to box anymore?” you inquire. Jungkook was good, more than good... it couldn’t be easy giving up on that. 

He shakes his head, “No. I told you I didn’t want you worrying about me anymore. I keep my promises,” his smile his sweet and you swear your feel yourself melting more and more into his touch. 

“Jungkook,” you let out a deep sigh, “I didn’t realize how much I needed you in my life until we became friends again. You know almost everything about me and I don’t want anyone else to ever take your place…”

It’s hanging there by a thread—the words on your tongue—and you’re not sure you can say them and they feel constricting—but you know you have to and—

“I love you,” the words come from your mouth and you feel like you could puke. “I don’t know when or why, but I’m in love with you Jungkook. You’re all I think about anymore and I don’t want anyone else when you’re right here.”

Jungkook parts his mouth, staring at you with a look you can’t read. Fuck, you fucked this up for sure.

“Shit—I know that was so rushed and stupid. Fuck I’m an idiot—“

“Y/N,” Jungkook’s voice interrupts you and you try to hide within your own body from embarrassment. With your hand of yours in his, he pulls on it, forcing you closer to him. You look at him wide eyed before he presses his lips against yours firmly. As usual, his lips feel so good and you melt into him. This is good right? What the hell is going on? You pull away from him after a few moments, an unsure look on your face.

He nuzzles his nose against your own before speaking, “I’ve wanted to tell you that since the night of our graduation.”

“Really?” You ask as you feel your palms sweat, heart racing.

He nods, “I’ve been in love with you for god knows how long now.”

A smile creeps upon your face and you let out a sigh of relief. Jungkook watches you with interest, tucking some of your hair behind your ear.

“I can take you home whenever,” he says quietly.

You’re quick to shake your head,  “No, it’s okay… I can stay, if you want,” your voice trails off and you suddenly feel shy under his gaze.

You don’t notice how Jungkook bites his lip but he does say, “Yeah. Of course.”

_____

Jungkook’s apartment is how you remember it, though a lot quieter without Taehyung here. You’re sure the reason Jungkook’s apartment is spotless is because of him. He has always been clean and organized and Taehyung… well he was Taehyung.

“I’m gonna get in the shower, my room is in here if you wanna chill,” Jungkook says and you give him a small nod. He rids his shirt before he even closes the bathroom door and it makes you gulp. This is new territory for the both of you. The two of you just admitted your love for one another and you’re about to spend the night with Jungkook? And not in a friend way? Jesus Christ you could be tripping.

You walk into Jungkook’s room and it smells just like him. His bed is neatly made and his desk is sprawled with two computer monitors and some notebooks from school. His walls are decorated as you’d expect—a Korean flag hanging, a ‘Saturday’s Are For The Boys’ flag—typical—and a few Beta Tae Sigma plaques scattered. What catches your eye is a wall of neatly lined photos taped to the wall. You look around at all of them with a smile. Most of them are Jungkook and his frat brothers, Taehyung, a few of his older brother, there’s even a picture of you, him, Taehyung, and Jennie from high school. One that catches your eye the most is one of just you and him. It’s an old picture but the memories from that day flood your mind. It was from your first week of freshman year here at university. Both of your smiles are wide and you two are hugging each other’s frames closely. Jennie took the picture you remember. It makes you smile to yourself, butterflies entering in your stomach. Did you love Jungkook then and didn’t know it? The way you’re looking at him in the picture would say so.

You suddenly feel an urge to be close to him again. You’ve never been a ballsy person but as you look back at the bathroom door that’s closed, your desire to be touched again by Jungkook again overwhelms your senses. Closing your eyes briefly, you don’t need much more convincing before your stripping yourself of your jacket and shoes. You kick off your jeans and sweater, leaving you only in your undergarments. You tip toe to the bathroom, grabbing the handle, opening it easy.

The shower water is loud and there’s steam in the small quarters. Jungkook is humming to himself as you start to take off the rest of your clothing. With a deep breath, you grab the shower curtain, pulling it back. Jungkook’s back is facing you but he hears you instantly.

“Shit Y/N you scar—“ he stops mid sentence as he takes in your naked frame getting in the shower too.

“Hi,” you mumble meeting his eye contact.  

“H-hey,” he nearly chokes on his own air, trying to keep his eyes up from your breasts.

“Scooch,” you smirk at him to move to get underneath the water too. He does as you say watching you curiously. You’re in the process of wetting your hair when his chest is pressed firmly against your back.

“This wasn’t expected,” he says into your ear, his hands moving to grip your waist from behind.

“You’re the one that wanted me to go home with you,” you say giving him an innocent glance over your shoulder. He laughs biting his lip, pressing them against the skin behind of your ear. You lean into the physical contact, feeling almost all of your stress go away instantly.

You spin around to look at him fully as it’s a frenzy whose mouth collides with whose. He leans down to grasp your lips in their entirety, pulling you closer to him than you ever have been. He pulls you away from the water so it doesn’t get in your face as he presses you against the shower wall. His tongue dips in and out of your mouth, his hands free roaming over your breasts and down to your ass, whatever he likes within the moment. Your hands grip his dark locks as he moves his mouth from your mouth, to your neck, down to your chest. He waste no time taking your right nipple in his mouth and you exhale deeply at the feeling.

You pull his face back to yours, kissing him again not able to get enough of his lips. His hands trail down from your ass to the front of your thighs, getting closer and closer to your wet center.

“Is this okay?” He asks as his fingers rub slowly back forth between your entrance. You can barely speak as his touch is setting you on fire but you manage to nod.

“Yes, please, Jungkook,” you say. He enters one finger, then another stretching you out nicely. Fuck you forgot how good this felt with him.

“Fuck you’re so wet,” he breathes heavily and you glance down at his hardening cock. Your mouth waters at the sight. Jungkook lifts one of your legs and starts to take his fingers in and out of you slowly and agonizing. He fingers you deep and rough and you can already feel a climax coming.

“Shit,” you croak out as Jungkook rubs one of your nipples, kissing your neck. There’s a pain at the back of your head at his force pushing you against the wall but it’s easy to ignore when it feels so good below your waist. “Jungkook, I’m gonna come,” you say as the snap inside of you is about to break.

“Come on baby,” his voice is deep and groggy. As if on cue, you feel your climax wash over you and you’re not shy to be loud. You know no one is here so it doesn’t bother you one bit. Jungkook kisses you against feverishly as he pulls his fingers from you. You feel impossibly empty but you know what you want to do and you’re not near anywhere tired. Your hands travel down to his front, grasping his hard dick in your hands. God, he’s so big.

“Oh fuck,” Jungkook seethes through his teeth as you pull on the sensitive skin, all the way from his pubic hair down to the tip. He places a hand beside of your head, leaning forward against your forehead. His eyes are shut tightly and you lick your lips, wanting to take him in your mouth.

You push him away from you slightly and move down to your knees, your face front and center with his beautiful dick. You take no time to put him in your mouth which causes Jungkook to groan loudly.

“Y/N,” he says looking down at you. He’s never seen a better sight. You make sure to keep eye contact as you bob your head up and down his shaft. While one of Jungkook’s hands stays against the wall, his other grips your hair, fisting it into a makeshift ponytail. “Oh fuck—He pulls on your hair and it only makes you want to please him more. Your left hand go to his balls, the right helping you up and down his length. He pulls your hair again and you take as much of him as you can. His tip reaches the back of your throat and you gag around his length and Jungkook thinks he could actually cry. Watching you through half open lids, he decides this isn’t how he is going to come—not tonight at least.

He grabs your hair and pulls you away from him and you’re slightly confused when he brings you to your feet.

“Come on, I need to be inside of you,” he says and you nod eagerly as he turns off the shower. He leads you out of the bathroom in a frenzy, pulling up into his bedroom. You shut the door behind you and he pins you against it, kissing you hard and deep.

Both of you are dripping wet but neither of you care to dry off as he carries you to his bed. You settle on his lap as his hands rest on your waist tightly. Your hands grip his face just as tight but you’re careful not to touch his injury above his brow. You couldn’t believe he was just fighting two hours ago—that seemed like forever ago compared to now. A lot can change in a short period of time and it makes you slightly chuckle against his mouth.  

“What?” He breaks the kiss asking you with a hazy grin.

You shake your head, “Nothing,” you smile pushing his hair from his forehead. You liked seeing it. “I love you,” you repeat. And you probably won’t stop, ever.

“I love you too,” he says, “So much.”

“Let me ride you,” you whisper in his ear and his eyes light up like a child. “Are you clean?” You ask him. 

He nods quickly, “You?” You nod in response and both of you feel excited and anxious. 

You rub your hand against his length again and you hold it up as you adjust yourself to sit on him. As soon as his tip enters you, a shiver runs down your spine. As you sink yourself lower, groans come from both of your mouths, a deep moan erupting from you when you bottom out.

“Oh my god,” you breathe in and out to control yourself.

“Ride me baby,” he says and you start to move your hips against his. He fills up every inch of you and it feels so good. Your hips lift away from his and he chases them with his own thrusts. He kisses your neck as you throw your head back, your hands digging into his shoulders for leverage.  

“Fuck Jungkook,” you say seeing stars in your eyes, “You feel so good,” you whine.

“You have no idea,” he says against your sticky skin, one of his hands bruising into your waist helping you ride him in a fluid motion. “Goddammit,” he says.

As you grind against him, your clit rubs against his pubic hair, sending your toes curling. He senses that you’ve found your sweet spot against him and places his thumb there instead to rub the sensitive bud.

You feel yourself inching closer and closer to a second climax when Jungkook stalls your motion.

“Lay on your stomach,” he breathes and you do as he says climbing off of him quickly. He doesn’t even give you time to get there all the way before he’s grabbing your hips to pull your ass to him. He slides right into you and you nearly scream into his mattress. Your hands grip the sheets as he fucks you deeper from behind. He smacks your ass once, twice sending a loud whine from your mouth.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you mutter trying to focus on Jungkook’s whines and small ministrations from his mouth. He reaches forward, rubbing your clit again and you want to die and go to heaven at the feeling. Neither of you try to be quiet anymore as you feel the second orgasm coming over you. You clench and unclench around Jungkook’s length as he stalls his thrusts to feel the action.

“Come inside of me,” you say, knowing both of you are clean and you have an IUD.

“Jesus,” he breathes, picking up his pace again chasing after his own high. As the sensitivity becomes too much, Jungkook finally lets go, coming deep inside of you. He holds your hips close against him, trying to deepen his climax as far as possible. The hot cum inside of you feels good and you moan at the feeling.

When Jungkook finishes completely in you, he pulls out with a sigh. You collapse against the bed, completely spent. Jungkook finds a clean rag in his pile of clean laundry and is quick to clean yourself and him up. You feel like you can barely move as Jungkook joins you in his bed. He turns you over to face him and he kisses you gently which you return happily.

“I love you,” he says for the third time tonight, kissing your nose.

“I love you too,” you entangling your legs together. The room is silent apart from your breathing and you’re about to go to sleep when he nudges you with his hand.  

“Come on,” he says.

“What?” You ask.

“Let’s actually take a shower now since someone wouldn’t let me,” he eyes you with accusation.

You squint at him before flipping him off. “Fuck off.”

_____

The next morning you wake up with Jungkook hugging you from behind, his face nuzzeled in your hair. You have no clue what the time may be, but you since it’s early by the way the birds chirp out the window. You stretch out your arms as best as you could and try to move your legs, but it doesn’t work since Jungkook’s heavy legs are tangled with your own. You’re tempted to fall back asleep but when Jungkook moves behind you, you turn to see his ruckus. You’re met with his brown eyes and you jump slightly, not expecting to see him awake. Both of you let out the faintest of laughs, not saying anything.

Jungkook leans over and kisses your lips, “Good morning.” His voice is groggy and he shuts his eyes again as you fully turn your body to his.

“Good morning,” you respond, watching the way his chest rises and falls gently. “How’d you sleep?”

“Hmm, really good,” he mumbles. You are about to join him in closing your eyes again until a loud rumble comes from your belly. Jungkook laughs.

“Hungry much?”

“Starving,” you groan, “I didn’t eat dinner last night.”

“Why not?”

“I was too nervous before your match… I thought I would yak if I ate,” you answer. Stupid, you know, but it was your train of thought last night.

He opens his eyes again, “Let’s go to the diner for breakfast… employee discount.”

You glare at him, “Is that all I am to you? A fucking employee discount,” you say saracastically.

“And my girlfriend if that helps?” He raises an eyebrow. Your cheeks heat up and you smile.

“Welllll, since my boyfriend is rich now and gets a discount, I’m assuming he’s paying.”

He smirks, “Obviously.”

“Will you take me to my place so I can change? And then we’ll go?”

He nods, his hand caressing the side of your body, “As much as I wanna stay in bed, I could really go for pancakes right now.”

“Waffles are superior,” you remark.

He frowns with a disgusted face, “Get the fuck out of my bed you heathen.”

_____

Jungkook insisted on coming up to your apartment with you because he didn’t want to wait in the car, but you know he just wants to see you change in front of him. Boys are all the fucking same.

As you fumbled with the key, the door opens and whatever Jungkook is saying to you is suddenly drowned out when you see—

“Jennie?”

“Taehyung?”

The names leave yours and Jungkook’s mouth as you watch the scene in front of you. Jennie is sitting on the counter, Taehyung in between her legs with a coffee cup in hand. Could be worse but what the fuck is going on?!

“Shit,” Jennie says pushing away Taehyung. “Hey guys,” she smiles awkwardly. You and Jungkook look at each other confused before Jungkook speaks.

“Uh, Taehyung?” He asks and Taehyung is. as red as a tomato.

“Oh fuck,” Jennie mutters shaking her head. She looks at Taehyung for backup.

Taehyung pinches his nose before speaking, “Um… we’re dating.”

You and Jungkook have the same reaction as your mouth drops.

“Jennie is your secret girlfriend?” Jungkook asks.

“Surprise,” Jennie smiles again looking at you.

You look at Jungkook and shake your head at the four of you. What a fucking cliché.

The four of you go to breakfast together that morning and it’s like old times, just with a sprinkle of something new. As long as the four of you have known each other, you’ve always had each other’s backs. Even now, with you and Jungkook and Jennie and Taehyung—you know that would never change from here on out. Turns out, Jennie just thought her and Taehyung were friends with benefits, while Taehyung was telling everyone he had a girlfriend because he was that smitten with her. The four of you laugh at the situation at hand and you couldn’t believe everyone was back together... like this. As Jungkook’s pancakes and your waffles arrive, Jungkook’s beaming smile lighting the whole room you think to yourself—this is how it’s supposed to be.