#and then tlou happened and he shot up in the list
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tlou-obsessed · 5 months ago
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There's something so comforting to me about Pedro Pascal's later success in life. It gives me hope that even though I feel behind compared to my peers, there's still a chance for me. If you just keep going, and be stubborn, you might just get what you want.
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skoulsons · 2 years ago
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Talking about the sniper section bc it’s. My heart feels like that house.
First, BEAUTIFULLY DONE. absolutely perfect, every part of it. But rewatching, Joel never stops watching Ellie. Not for a second. He’s watching where she’s going and he’s watching behind her for infected. When she’s knocked to the ground after Joel shoots the one clicker, she spots an open window in a van. Joel is watching her and sees where she’s looking and knows exactly where she’s trying to go. You see his eyes move to the left to see the van. And she knows he’ll kill all of the infected in her way. Because she trusts him. And because he won’t let her die.
And once Ellie’s in the van, Joel’s fire ceases except for killing the ones behind it. He is only looking out for her. Anything gets close to that van, he’s there immediately. There’s a shot of him after the bloater surfaces of him just watching. Not firing, just observing the van. Watching for infected. Keeping her safe.
And then one comes up, a young girl in a BLUES CLUES SHIRT, and you see the panic immediately on his face. He goes from completely still to shaking. He fires and he misses. His reload even feels rushed. His breath is shaky, hitching even. His entire face is trembling. And then the clicker is in the car and he can’t see it anymore. He can’t protect her anymore. And it cuts again to him taking two quick, rushed, and paralyzing breaths. He adjusts his grip on the gun because his hands are sweating. And now he, much like she had to minutes prior, has to trust that she can and will get out of this, as much as he wants to be the one to save her from it
Then it cuts to Joel again when she’s outside the van.
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This is panic. Fear. This is not knowing what’s coming out of that van. If that clicker ate a hole in her neck and it’s the one escaping. The fear of not knowing her fate and if he just lost her again. Of not being able to protect her because he can’t see her through the windows of the van. The fear of so many uncertainties.
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And this is relief. His shoulders have even fallen back slightly, relaxing. When he sees she’s out and closed the door on the clicker. That she’s, in a weird, twisted way, safe again. Because he can protect her again. Because he can, and will, kill every infected in her path.
And then she’s on the ground and they can see each other again. Ellie looks over to Henry and Sam and sees them struggling under the car. She can’t leave them. She reaches for her shiv and she looks to Joel in the house.
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She’s determined. And he knows it. He can’t see them under the car, but he can guess what she’s saying. What she wants to do. What she’s asking him to do. To continue to protect her (like he’d ever stop), as dangerous and heart attack inducing as it will be for him to see her do this. And he makes a face that Pedro seems to make in every role he plays.
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This face. This face, to me, means a plethora of different things depending on his role. But in this context, it’s more of a ‘fine, I’ll do it. I’ve got you’ one. He even nods slightly. Really slightly. Deep down, he wants them safe, too. It’s dangerous down there. It’s full of infected. And he’d like nothing more than to get out of there with her in one piece. But Ellie has a big heart. She cares about Henry and Sam. And Joel knows that. He’s seen how she’s been with Sam. Laughing with him, reading with him, signing with him, playing soccer with him. How long has it been since she’s been able to do this with another kid? But Ellie’s asks him just a little more. I need to get to them. Protect me.
And he does, of course he does. He kills five(?) clickers that touch her or get in her path. And he’s no longer shaking. He’s as stable as ever in firing. He nails every single shot, killing every clicker in her way. Ellie gets to Henry and Sam, killing the clicker on Henry and stabbing the one on Sam while Joel finishes it off. And he watches for any more that come their way. And once he sees they’re in the clear, he leaves and meets up with them immediately
Main point being - protective dad Joel <3
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justagalwhowrites · 5 months ago
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Halcyon - Ch. 15: Right Now, You’re Still My Baby
You and Joel take care of Ellie and each other. A continuation of Halcyon from the prologue through Ch. 14, a modern no outbreak AU TLOU fic found on Tumblr here.
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Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader
Warnings: SMUT! Unprotected P in V sex. Childcare struggles. Modern No Outbreak AU, No use of Y/N, Slow burn, 18+ only, Minors DNI
Length: 5.5k
AO3 | Main Master List | Prologue | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter
Ellie’s sharp little cry woke you up. 
You’d slept soundly, more soundly than you had in weeks, your nose buried in Joel’s naked chest, his come slick on your thighs. 
Your eyes shot open at that realization, something that had been so overwhelming it had knocked you out before sending your heart racing now.
You’d slept with Joel. Your best friend Joel. The same man who had said it would have been better to sleep with anyone but you, the same man who needed space after you made each other come at the hotel in Dallas, the same man who had called just fucking kissing you a mistake. You’d slept with him, when your life was in complete shambles and you were desperate for what help you could find, you’d slept with Joel. 
“S’OK,” he said, his voice groggy, his large hands spreading wide on the bare skin of your back. He pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Stay here, I got ‘er. You need to rest.” 
He pulled himself from the tangle your limbs had made together, bed squeaking a little, and you heard him pause for a moment before padding out of the room. 
You rolled onto your back and stared up at Joel’s ceiling, a familiar sight in so many other contexts but not ones where you’d just fucked your best friend, right when you couldn’t afford to lose him. You couldn’t have him regret you, not now. 
It was still dark outside and you listened as Ellie fussed and then quieted, Joel already so much better with her than you had been. That was an incredibly low bar, you realized, but still. You wished you could be like that, have that natural instinct, be something that this child needed. He soothed her and you heard him leave her room on the monitor, leaving his room almost eerily silent.
You sat up, clutching the sheet to your naked chest and looking around to try and find something to put on in the dark. There was a discolored pile of fabric on the floor and you grabbed it, keeping the sheet tight to your skin as you reached for it even though there was no one there to look at your bare body, anyway. It was one of Joel’s oversized t-shirts and you pulled it on, feeling a little better now that you had something covering you up. 
What the fuck were you going to do now? You pulled your legs - still covered by the sheet - into your chest and gnawed on your lower lip. You couldn’t lose Joel right now, you couldn’t afford to lose Joel right now. You weren’t sure you’d ever be capable of losing him again - you’d barely survived it the first time, falling into bed with the first man who showed you a scrap of kindness and interest and look where that had landed you - but you really couldn’t do it now. 
It’s not that you’d blame him for regretting things with you. You knew there were things about yourself that were difficult and lord knew he’d dated plenty of better looking women. But fuck, if he could just regret it without pushing you away and saying how much he wished it hadn’t happened, at least for long enough for you to be able to figure out something for Ellie, then you could get through it. As long as it wasn’t permanent, it would be OK. 
“Alright sweet girl,” you heard Joel through the baby monitor, apparently back in the nursery he’d set up for your niece. “We’re gonna put you down and you’re gonna stay nice and quiet for me, alright? Think you’ve put your auntie through her paces plenty…” 
You heard him humming to her then and it took you a moment to place it as Sweet Child of Mine. The soft sound of him soothing her made you choke up. He was so good at this, built for it, it seemed, in ways you just weren’t. 
You heard the door close softly on the baby monitor and then the quiet click of his bedroom as he let himself back in. He tiptoed at first and then froze when he noticed you sitting up, watching him in the dark.  
“You should be sleeping,” he said quietly before crawling up the bed beside you. 
“Joel…” 
“You’re exhausted,” he said, draping his arm over your chest and gently nudging you onto your back. “I got her, she’s back down and it’s only about three, you need another four hours at least…” 
“But Ellie…” 
“She’s OK,” he said, lying down next to you, his arm still over you, just enough pressure to keep you from getting up. “She’s out. You need to sleep.”
You looked at him. He was on his side, his face so close to yours, close enough that your noses almost touched. You realized that he was still shirtless, his skin warm next to your own. 
“Joel,” you whispered again, like saying his name was going to somehow untangle this tension that had fallen between the two of you. His hand left your shoulder, tracing his fingers over his shirt that you’d put on, trailing up your neck before smoothing your hair back and cupping your cheek. 
“It can wait ’til the morning,” he said softly. You opened your mouth to argue but he moved closer, his forehead against yours and you could feel the cotton of his pajama pants against your bare legs. “It’s OK baby. I’ve got you.” 
Your eyes dropped to his lips before you could really help it, remembering how he tasted, how soft his mouth was on yours. 
“It’s OK baby,” he said again and you rolled onto your side so you were facing him, keenly aware that you were still naked from the waist down. His hand skimmed over your body, his palm shaping to your breast, arching over your curves before stopping at the bare skin of your hip. 
He waited for just a moment before kissed you, giving you a chance to pull away. You didn’t take it. Instead, you kissed him back. It was gentle at first, hesitant, like you were both afraid of what the other was going to do. It was Joel who broke the kiss, pulling away ever so slightly but still close enough that your bodies were aligned, that you were breathing the same air. 
“This OK?” He asked, a tremble in his voice. You just nodded quickly, breaths shaky, not sure you’d be able to string words together if you tried. 
“Good,” he said, his hand running down your thigh, around the back of your knee to hitch it up over his hip, pulling your bare center against him as you gasped. He was hard, you could feel the thick of him through his pants and your heart beat faster. He tugged his pants down just enough to free his cock, the silken softness of his skin against your most tender place making you moan. “‘Cause I need to be inside you one more time.” 
He pressed into you, his passage eased by the slick of your come and his from just hours earlier and you moaned at the stinging stretch as he buried himself to the root in you. Joel pressed his hand into the small of your back, holding you right where he seemed to want you as he ground his cock deep into you. The head of him tight to the most sensitive parts of your body made you pant and keen and he kissed you, so firm it was almost harsh, his beard scratching your skin as he fucked into you. 
Things were so much more intense with Joel than you were used to them being. It’s not as though you’d had many lovers in your life - you’d only ever slept with Joel and Gale - but you didn’t think sex could be that different between people. You’d always kind of assumed you’d gotten things mixed up in the memory of your first time with Joel. You’d never had sex before, after all, so of course things would have seemed intense. It had been your first time in a foreign land, the terrain eventually becoming familiar territory as you started sleeping with Gale. It was a memory, you thought, that needed to be taken with a healthy dose of skepticism because of its very nature. It couldn’t have been that way. But you knew now that you were wrong. It was that different with Joel, it had been that intense, it had felt that good, something about feeling him inside of you touching a part of your very being that had been dormant since that night when you were just a clumsy teenager.
It shocked you now, how suddenly desperate you became. He wasn’t nearly close enough, wasn’t fucking you nearly hard enough, there just wasn’t enough and you needed more. 
You clutched at him, needy and aching, rolling your hips into him, tongue delving into his mouth. He moaned into you and it made your cunt clench around him. His thrusts stuttered when it did and he pulled his mouth from yours, panting, his eyes ranging over your face. You pushed him onto his back, leg tight over his hip to keep him buried inside and you were straddling him, settling on top of him as your body adjusted to the way his filled it. 
“Oh fuck,” he breathed, his hands going to your thighs, his thick fingers splaying wide over you. You froze for a moment, breathless, looking down at him spread out below you. Your heart stuttered, terrified that he’d changed his mind. “Christ, love seein’ you in my fuckin’ clothes…” 
You groaned, starting to ride him. You moved slow at first, getting a feel for him. You hadn’t been on top in a long time - Gale preferred being in charge - and Joel’s cock was so thick and so long that you could feel so clearly just how deep he reached inside of you. It took you a moment to find your rhythm, to figure out just how to move on him so that he was filling you and not overwhelming you. 
“That’s it,” he whispered, his hands sliding up your legs, below where the shirt was pooling around your hips to your waist. You groaned at his touch, trying to push away the gnawing fear of Joel feeling you there and finding something he didn’t want as his fingers sank into the soft parts of you. You angled your hips so your clit was tight to the base of his stomach, grinding against his warm, soft skin, building your orgasm higher. “Feel so good baby, so fucking good…” 
You just moaned and closed your eyes as you rode him harder, faster. Feeling this good and being this aware that it was because of Joel felt dangerous. Some part of you, even now, in this moment, knew that it would be temporary. Or, at the very least, the feelings behind it one sided. Looking at his face - looking him in the eye - while you made yourself come on his cock might just be the end of you. You weren’t sure you’d be able to handle losing this with him after that. 
That didn’t keep you from moaning his name as your body drew tighter around him. He thrust up into you, meeting your every movement, his hands clinging to you the way your channel was clinging to him, too. 
“I’m gonna come,” you panted, barely even aware of what you were saying. “I’m gonna come, Joel, I’m gonna come, I…” 
“Good,” he sounded desperate, fucked out. “Want you to come, please come for me, need to feel you come…” 
Your hips stuttered and you bit your lip and buried your face in your shoulder as best you could to muffle your strangled cry as your pussy rippled and fluttered around his cock and he groaned with it, pressing his cock into you while pulling down on your waist. 
“Fuckin’ hell,” he panted as you came. One of his hands flew to your clit, rubbing you in tight little circles. “Christ, can feel you throbbing on me, so goddamn good baby.” 
“Why…” you panted for a moment, trying to get ahold of your thoughts again as your climax eased. “Why are you calling me that? I’m… fuck… I’m not your baby.” 
“Ain’t you?” He asked, still sounding breathless. The hand that had been working your clit went back to hold your waist. “At least for tonight?” 
You opened your eyes and looked down at him. Even in the dim haze from the streetlight outside his window he looked desperate, his eyes wide as he watched you closely. Your heart pounded in the cage of your chest. 
“OK,” you nodded, panting. “At least for tonight.” 
He swallowed hard enough that you could watch his throat move with it before he nodded and started guiding your hips over him again. Your second orgasm was already starting to build - so much faster than it ever had with Gale - when his hands left your skin to take hold of the hem of the shirt. You stilled for a moment, frowning down at him. 
“Lemme see you,” he said. “Want to look at my baby…” Your pussy tightened at his words and he groaned, closing his eyes for a moment. “Holy… fuck, please baby. Lemme see you.” 
You just nodded before helping him take the shirt off and he moaned, sitting up below you, making your hand fly to his shoulder as his arms went around your waist. He buried his face in your chest, kissing over your breast bone up to your throat, running his teeth over your skin to your chin and you moaned, arching your back into him. The feeling of his skin tight on yours, his mouth on your throat was making the heat inside you pool low and full. There was so much need inside you, so much aching pleasure it seemed almost too big for your body. Like if it built any more, it would burst out of your skin and you’d be lost to it. 
“Fuck, I’m gonna come,” he groaned, his lips at the hollow of your throat as you rode him. Your arms went around him, clutching his head against you and his hold on you tightened. “Want you to come with me, baby. Can feel it, you got one more right there, want you to give it to me. Gimme everything, baby, know you want to…” 
“Joel,” you whispered, riding him so hard the movements were getting sloppy. You could feel the wet of his come and yours dripping out of you, making a slick mess of your thighs and his stomach. 
“S’OK,” he said, pressing you tighter. “Just me, baby. S’OK. Give it all to me, just give in to it, want to feel you.” 
You couldn’t help but obey then, your orgasm this time even stronger than before, seeming to seize your whole being as you came undone around him. Joel thrust up into you twice more before holding himself deep and moaning into your chest and you could feel the heavy throb of his cock as he pumped you full of his come. 
When the aftershocks of your orgasm finally seemed to fade, you pulled back from him, just enough that you could look down and see his face, your stomachs still tight together, his cock still buried deep inside you. 
Your eyes searched his for a moment, as though there was some answer for you there. How did we end up here? What do we do now? Where do we go next? You didn’t think he knew any better than you did. 
Instead of answering your unspoken questions, he leaned forward - just enough that you could feel his cock move within you - and pressed his lips to your throat before pulling back again. 
“In the morning,” he said softly. “We can talk in the morning. Right now, you’re still my baby. Lemme take care of you.” 
You just nodded and let him carefully guide you onto the bed beside him, groaning a little as his cock left your body. He adjusted his pajama pants so his slick cock was covered and he went to the bathroom, coming back with a warm washcloth. He gently cleaned between your legs, panting a little as he did, before he grabbed the shirt you’d picked up off his floor. You put it back on while he found your panties and he helped you put those on, guiding each foot through a leg hole before guiding them up your calves, your thighs. He nudged you onto your back and you lifted your hips as he redressed you. You turned your head to watch him lay beside you, his eyes on you the way yours were on him. 
“I’ll get up with her next time she cries,” he said quietly. “Try to sleep if you can.” 
“But…” you frowned, but he cut you off. 
“I got it,” he said. “Told you. Lemme take care of you.” 
You swallowed, trying not to choke, and nodded he gently moved beside you, nudging you onto your side before pressing against the back of you, his legs curving against yours, his arm finding the perfect place to rest between your ribs and your hips. His breath was warm on your neck and he trailed his nose over your skin before pressing a kiss into your shoulder. 
“Get some rest, Goldie girl,” he said quietly in your ear. “I’ll take care of you.” 
“Thank you,” you whispered back. 
He squeezed you a little tighter. 
“Any time, baby.” 
***
Fuck. 
That was all Joel could really think as he slowly bounced Ellie in his kitchen as the sun rose, the sky all pink and orange, your infant niece a warm bundle in his arms. She was eating well, at least, making those tiny, fragile little baby sounds Joel had loved so much when Sarah was a newborn as she drank her bottle. 
He was fairly certain he’d managed to grab Ellie before she woke you up. He hadn’t really fallen back asleep after fucking you a second time - Jesus, what had he been fucking thinking? - he had more drifted in and out of consciousness as he held you in the dark. He had his arms around you, he could feel you breathing, he could smell your skin and you were warm and safe and close. It’s not like he wasn’t tired - he was - but his mind was so hung up on soaking up your presence he couldn’t seem to quiet it enough to sleep. 
So when Ellie started to fuss quietly in her crib about 6:30, he was awake to hear it. You were passed out, your whole body soft and relaxed, and he delicately, reluctantly pulled himself away from you to go take care of her, not bothering with a shirt in the hopes of getting to her before she started really wailing. He turned the baby monitor off when he got in the room before he changed her diaper and he hoped her crying jag as he cleaned her up was far enough away that you slept through it. He was so worried about her waking you that he scooped her into his chest before he put her onesie back on her and she calmed quickly, her skin on his. 
“Oh you like that, huh, baby girl?” He asked quietly, shifting his weight from foot to foot as she curled her little legs into her stomach against him. She cooed but didn’t fuss, settling into his chest. He smiled a little. Sarah had been big on the skin on skin thing at this age, too. “Alright, we can wait a bit. I don’t need a shirt too bad, do I?” 
He swayed with her for a little while, until it seemed like some change in the motion wouldn’t set her off and then he took her to the kitchen, making her a bottle and watching her as she ate, her big eyes watching him with an almost burning curiosity. 
“I know,” he said quietly to her. “I’m still the weird one, ain’t I? S’OK though. Your auntie is here, she’s got you, too. And I’m sure your mama will be back soon. She loves you so much baby girl, I know she does. We all do.” 
As Ellie finished the bottle, Joel grabbed a dish towel from the handle of the oven and threw it over his shoulder before tucking the baby against his shoulder. He bounced her gently and patted her back, waiting for the inevitable spit up and hoping this would settle her little stomach enough that she would sleep and so would you. 
“What am I gonna do, huh?” He asked her quietly, pacing the kitchen. It’s not like he was actually expecting an answer but he was still a little let down when none came. “Wish I was better at figuring this shit out. She deserves better than however I’m about to fuck up.” 
And he had royally fucked up this time, he was sure of that. He wasn’t sure how he kept ending up in bed with you - maybe you just needed a physical outlet but were too gun shy of casual sex to get it the way he usually did, maybe you just got swept up in things when he was an asshole who tried to make your relationship something you clearly didn’t want it to be - but he couldn’t keep doing this. It wasn’t fair to you.
“Dad?” Sarah yawned, frowning, as she came into the kitchen before her eyes went wide and she squealed. “Is that Ellie?” 
He shushed her, glancing back toward his bedroom. 
“Goldie’s still sleepin’,” he said quietly. “And this one is dozing off, gotta keep it down baby girl.” 
“Sorry,” she whispered, still looking excited. “Can I see her? She’s so little!” 
“Yeah, OK,” Joel said. “But you gotta do me a favor. In the room we set up for her is one of those bouncers… looks almost like a car seat but without so much plastic at the bottom. Can you bring me that? I’ll put her in that and you can look at her all you want while I make us breakfast, alright?” 
“Yeah!” She darted off, Joel hearing her feet pound on the first few steps of the stairs before she paused and then moved slowly, quietly, the rest of the way up. He shook his head a little, still swaying with the baby. He wondered how long it would be before Sarah started asking him for a baby sister again, something he was in no position to give her. It’s not like he was in a relationship and he was in no shape to go looking for one, especially not as hung up on you as he was. 
Sarah came back and put the bouncer in the middle of the kitchen table, sitting eagerly next to it, watching as Joel kept settling the baby. He had his back to her, working his way toward the opposite end of the kitchen, when she spoke. 
“Aunt Goldie!” She said, sounding about as happy to see you as she’d been to see Ellie. Joel turned around so fast that he almost tripped over his own feet, finding you standing in the entry to his kitchen in his shirt and his pajama pants, the legs too long on you. Your eyes were wide and on him and one of your arms was crossed protectively over the front of you as you watched him. Sarah didn’t seem to notice. “When did you get here! Why do you have Ellie? How are you? What’s…” 
“Alright, kiddo,” Joel cut her off, still watching you. “Let’s not give her a pop quiz first thing in the morning…” 
“It’s alright,” you said, finally tearing your eyes away from Joel to look at his daughter. “I came over pretty late last night. I’m giving Anna a break for a little while but babies are a lot of work and your dad was nice enough to offer to help with Ellie.” 
Sarah just nodded, not questioning any of it. 
“Can I help with her, too?” She asked. “I can hold her and feed her and I can learn how to change a diaper even though that sounds kind of gross but that’s OK and…” 
“Sure,” you laughed a little. “You can help. I think you’ll be really good at it, Ellie really likes you.” 
“She does?” Sarah’s face lit up. 
“Mhmm,” you said, sitting across from her at the table. “Remember when you held her at the hospital and she was all calm and relaxed? She likes you.” 
She beamed. 
“Cool.” 
“Alright,” Joel said, satisfied with how quiet Ellie seemed to be. “Think I can set her down, she’s been fed but the rest of us still need food. Scrambled eggs? Yeah?” 
“Yup,” Sarah nodded, settling further into the chair. 
He looked to you, brows raised. 
“Um,” you said, watching him. “Yeah, sure, that sounds good.” 
He nodded and put Ellie in the bouncer. Her little face scrunched in her sleep and he waited for a moment, ready to scoop her back up again, but she settled and he strapped her in, taking the spit up covered towel off his shoulder as he did. 
“Baby girl, do me a favor, go toss this in the laundry room and grab me a t-shirt,” he said, passing the towel to Sarah.
“Anything to get you to put clothes on,” she teased good naturedly, taking the towel and scampering off. 
You watched her go as Joel went to the fridge to get out the eggs and the bacon and the hashbrowns. 
“Joel,” you whispered as he set the carton of eggs on the counter. He looked over to you, your eyes wide, hair in disarray. “What are we…” 
“Sarah’s got a birthday party in a few hours,” he said, just as quietly. “Friend’s picking her up. We can talk then.” 
The deadline sat like a rock in his stomach the rest of the morning, his fate with you looming over his head as he made the three of you breakfast and did Sarah’s hair and showed you the angle he’d been holding Ellie at to take her bottle. When Sarah’s friend came to the door and she ran outside, Joel stood on his front stoop and waved goodbye as she got into the car for far longer than he needed to, afraid of what going back inside could mean. 
But, eventually, he couldn’t put it off any longer and he found you there, Ellie starting to fuss in your arms as you paced with her around the kitchen. 
“It’s OK,” you said, your voice thick as you tried to soothe her. “I know, it’s hard, but you’re OK and…” 
“Here,” Joel said, tugging his shirt up and over his head and draping it over the back of a chair. Your eyes went wide and he realized how he must look. “No, not… she likes the skin on skin stuff, guess it’s a thing with babies sometimes. Calms them down, here.” 
He held his hands out and you hesitated before passing her to him. He pulled her into his bare chest and she let out one little cry and then relaxed into him, her little, huffing breaths calming. He swayed with her, bouncing her rhythmically and you watched, arms crossed over your chest, an almost pained look on your face. 
“What’s goin’ on?” Joel asked quietly. 
“Why can’t I do that for her?” You asked, your eyes meeting his. “Why can’t I be that safe place for her when she needs it? I want to be, I’d do anything for her but…” 
“Take off your shirt,” he said. You opened your mouth to protest but he cut you off before you could. “The skin is helping her right now and… well, it’s not like I haven’t seen you, so…” 
“Right,” you said, wincing a little. But you obeyed all the same, taking your shirt off and putting it next to Joel’s on the back of the chair. He gently pulled Ellie away from his chest and held her out to you. You took her reverently and brought her to your chest as she started to squirm and fuss. She seemed confused for a moment when she touched your skin and your face fell but then she settled, cooing contentedly against you. You smiled in that way you had, slow and hesitant and then all at once as you watched her there, swaying with your niece as she took comfort in you.
“See?” Joel said. Watching you with a baby like this making him ache for you. He wanted to do this with you for a baby that looked like you and him together, wanted to make a family with you even though he knew that wanting that would only lead to heartache. “You can do it.” 
“Yeah,” you laughed quietly, looking at him with misty eyes. “That’s the first time I’ve done that, she’s never calmed like that for me so fast, it’s always been because she wore herself out and never because…” 
You trailed off, looking back down to Ellie, pressing a kiss into the soft tufts of hair on the crown of her head. Joel just watched you for a moment, humming to her, knowing just how soft your bare skin would be if he reached out and touched you in that moment. 
Instead, he ducked quickly into the living room and grabbed the throw blanket from the back of the couch.
“Here,” he said, and you looked up as he held the blanket toward you. “Want me to…” 
You frowned a little but looked back down at Ellie before you nodded. 
“Yeah,” you said, a twinge in your voice. “Thanks.” 
He draped the blanket carefully around you so he couldn’t see the parts of you he’d spent so much time touching the night before - parts he’d kill to touch again - as you soothed the baby in your arms until she calmed enough that she could be set down again. 
“Let’s put her back in the crib,” he said gently. “Then we won’t need to keep an eye on her and we can… we can talk.” 
You nodded and Joel led the way to the room he’d set up for Ellie. You slowly, carefully, lowered her into the crib and he turned the baby monitor on before the two of you backed out of the room as silently as you could. 
Joel led the way to his bedroom and you hovered by the door as he got the receiver to the baby monitor, the blanket tight around your body. He went to leave, to have this conversation somewhere else but you stayed where you were, your gaze locked on the bed that was still a mess from everything you’d done the night before. 
“What are we doing, Joel?” You asked quietly.
“Taking care of Ellie,” he said, even though he knew that wasn’t what you were talking about. 
“No,” you shook your head. “I mean what are we doing? You and me together, what are we doing? What did we do?” 
“Goldie…” 
“I’ve been seeing someone,” you said it like you were trying not to cry. “I have Ellie to take care of, I have to find Anna, I have a book I need to finish, I can’t… I can’t handle you disappearing on me right now, Joel, I can’t lose you, I can’t do it, please, I…” 
“Hey,” he said when your voice started to quiver, going to you and taking your face in his hand, making you look at him. “It’s OK, I’m not going anywhere and you’re not either, alright? We don’t… it… we…”
He closed his eyes for a moment. He couldn’t look at you and find the words he knew he needed to say. He took a deep breath and pressed on.
“I’m not goin’ anywhere,” he said again, opening his eyes and looking at you. “I… I know how you feel and… it’s alright, I’m OK with that, it doesn’t have to be weird. This can… it can just be something that happened and we move on, it can be something we do again and we just deal with it… it’s OK is what I’m saying. Nothing else has to change. You’re my best friend, I don’t want to lose you again. It doesn’t have to be like it was then, we can just… it’s different now. We can figure it out.” 
You looked at him for a moment, his heart thudding heavy in his chest as your eyes searched his. He wasn’t sure what answer you were looking for there but then, it didn’t really matter. He’d tell you whatever you wanted if it kept you close. 
“You and me, Goldie,” he said quietly. “We can figure it out.” 
Your eyes dropped to his lips for a moment, so fast he thought he might have imagined it, and then you nodded. 
“OK,” you said. “We can figure it out.” 
Next Chapter
A/N: So they kind of talked 😌
Look. I promise I have something in mind for these two that I think makes sense for the characters and their story, I swear I'm not dragging this out to be mean! I appreciate you sticking with the story, even as these two kind of tap dance around their feelings for a little while longer. Nearly two decades is just a long time to have stuff buried to just bring up and work through!
It is coming, though. Promise!
Thank you for reading! As always, feel free to yell at me in the comments or in my ask box. Love you!!
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hihomeghere · 1 year ago
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Hihomeghere Masterlist
I have a new masterlist! Check it out here!
Prompt list
The Umbrella Academy
Diego Hargreeves
Nightwing You try to keep Diego Hargreeves off your mind, especially after your break up. But after he breaks into your apartment begging you to patch him up. All the good and bad memories come flooding back.
Five Hargreeves
Wedding at the End of the World A reader insert for the episode Wedding at the End of the World. You and Five reminisce on your wedding/proposal before going to Luther and Sloanes wedding. You both go to the wedding with high hopes of a good evening.
Carousel Club After being dropped into 1963, you find work at the Carousel Club as a dancer. While following a tip where Luther could be, Five sees your routine. Overwhelmed by jealousy he sneaks into your dressing room.
Et tu, Brute? Based off a request, Five gets injured in a mission and you drop everything to make sure he's ok.
Insomniac Five has trouble sleeping and when he does sleep it's anything but peaceful. After a nightmare he craves your touch to remind him you're okay.
Tesoro Universe
Tesoro While working at the commission as a field agent you are assigned a new partner, Number Five.
Meet the Family Five finds a way to return to 2019, you both break your contract with the commission and you meet your in-laws for the first time.
One Bed After a failed mission with the commission, both you and Five find a hotel to rest in. The only problem is, you'll have to share a bed. (Can be read as a one-shot)
Unspoken thing Part 2 of One Bed, after that fateful night in the hotel room. Five has been avoiding you and now you're called into the Handler's office to take responsibility for the delay in exterminating the target.
Routine After the confession, Five and reader head back to a hotel room. Soft dom y/n. (Can be read as one-shot)
The Last of Us
Joel Miller
The Two C's Joel catches you smoking on your porch. Set in Jackson after the events of TLOU. Short and sweet
Red Dead Redemption 2
John Marston
Burning Love Set in the epilogue of RDR2. You stumble upon John in Blackwater after being alone for years. When he invites you to visit Beecher's Hope, will you be able to fight feelings that have been building ever since you were kids?
Gloves John goes crazy over you dressed up for a job, more specifically your white gloves
Arthur Morgan
Fakin' It After a botched robbery, Arthur and you take refuge in a hotel, hiding from the O'Driscolls outside your door. When they do decide to search for you two, how will you throw them off your track?
Fishing in the Dark You and Arthur have a private evening away from camp on the Dakota river.
Dreams Arthur starts having dreams of starting a family with you
My Eyes Only Arthur thinks you look like a work of art
Salt and Pepper Arthur notices his hair is starting to gray
Deserving 6. I won't let anything happen to you, I swear. 34. I think you're showing. 36. You're glowing. 41. The baby loves hearing you sing/speak. 83. Was that a kick?
Blue Ain't Your Color Loosely based on the song, Blue Ain't Your Color
Little Things Arthur returns from a successful job and wants nothing more than to bury himself in you
Charles Smith
Knight in Shining Armor 1. "Kiss me" "What-", 81. "Your heart is racing."
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staruus · 11 months ago
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₊⊹ 𝐒𝐘𝐏𝐍𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐒 a list of events and au's in your life with the best sorcerer from the past and the present
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SERIES 。༻✦ .  ⁺
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˖ ִֶָ𐀔 — APOCALYPSE
♡ GENRE: Fluff + Angst, TLOU au
♡ WARNINGS: Smut, smoking, mentions of drugs, violence, gore, cursing, death
SYPNOSIS. You and Satoru are one of the very few sole survivors of an apocalypse that broke out. After 5 years of surviving, you are sent to track down Satoru Gojo. You both are entwined by fate, names written in the stars. But that doesn't mean you both are fond of each other. What happens when the universe begins tangling your story with his?
˖ ִֶָ𐀔 — YOU
♡ GENRE: Fluff + Angst, stalker Gojo, YOU au, friends to lovers
♡ WARNINGS: Manipulation, stalking, murder, dark-ish themes, alcohol, smoking, usage of drugs (not the reader or Satoru), borderline obsessive behavior, gaslighting, smut, abuse? addiction, gore, depression, mentions of sexual harassment, cheating (not the reader or Satoru bc I've had ENOUGH with Satoru always being a cheater in fics.)der or Satoru bc I've had ENOUGH with Satoru always being a cheater in fics.)
SYPNOSIS. Satoru Gojo, who is perilously endearing and intensely fixated, will go to any lengths to immerse himself in the lives of those who captivate him. And he cannot help but fall in love with you the moment he sets eyes upon you. And he will do whatever it takes to ensure that his affection is returned. He'll weave his web, entwining souls unnamed, Intruding where he has no rightful claim.
˖ ִֶָ𐀔 — ONE OF YOUR GIRLS (soon !)
♡ GENRE: Fluff + Angst, college au
♡ WARNINGS: Smut, smoking, alcohol use, cursing
SYPNOSIS.You are offered a bet at a party. The bet was to make the playboy, Satoru Gojo, fall for you. You gladly accepted. But soon, you'll find out the universe has other plans for you rather than him being just a bet. You'll find out that after tugging on his heartstrings -- you'll get tangled up in them too.
˖ ִֶָ𐀔 — ECSTASY (soon !)
♡ GENRE: Fluff + crackfic, canon compliant
♡ WARNINGS: smoking, lovesick Gojo, very tiny bit of angst, gojo is a big simp
SYPNOSIS. You rejected Satoru many years ago. Since you didn't really see much in him. All you saw in him was a playboy who dated girls just to boost his own ego. But little did you know, he was willing to change for you. He wants you. He loves you. And he'll do anything for you. Even though he got rejected, his heart beats with hope, though once denied, still, the flames of passion won't subside.
˖ ִֶָ𐀔 — TWISTED HEARTS (soon !)
♡ GENRE: Angst + fluff, Hunger Games au
♡ WARNINGS: violence, cursing, suggestive content, violence, gore (?), death
SYPNOSIS. You were one of the unlucky few people who were chosen to be a tribute. Along with a classmate from school named Satoru Gojo. It was Satoru's idea that you should act like you're in love to get more sponsors. To act like fate was cruel to the both of you and sent you both to the Hunger Games and you have to watch your lover die. Even if it's by your own hands. Little did you know that it would no longer be an act.
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ONE SHOTS 。༻✦ .  ⁺
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ঌ ♡ ໒ — LOVE LETTERS (soon !)
♡ GENRE: fluff , lovesick Gojo, cannon compliant
♡ WARNINGS: small cursing, tiny bit of jealous Gojo
SYPNOSIS. Every day in your locker, you have been receiving love letters. With a small and expensive gift attached to them every time. But the person who sends those letters never reveals their name. Little did you know that it was your rival, Satoru Gojo sending those letters..
ঌ ♡ ໒ — CRAZY, STUPID, LOVE (soon !)
♡ GENRE: Angst to fluff, cannon compliant au
♡ WARNINGS: small cursing, jealous Gojo, frenemies to lovers, small amount of arguing, suggestive jokes, slight Suguru x reader
SYPNOSIS. Satoru Gojo, your "mortal" enemy. You both are just rivals, always teasing and poking at one another. Nothing too serious. Until one day, you start talking to Suguru Geto, Satoru's best friend. And Satoru can't help but feel jealous and possessive over you. Because, in his eyes, you're his. And his only. And he will do anything to ensure that.
ঌ ♡ ໒ — ABOUT TIME (soon !)
♡ GENRE: fluff, cannon compliant
♡ WARNINGS: small cursing, suggestive jokes, whiny/bratty Gojo, innocent/oblivious reader, Gojo needing his friends support
SYPNOSIS.You are so oblivious. Everyone knows Satoru has a crush on you. Everyone, except you. He gives you flowers, he gives you chocolates, necklaces, bracelets, and shares HIS FOOD with you. Yet you are still oblivious to all of it. You think he's just being nice. Meanwhile, Satoru is on the verge of pulling out his hair because you haven't gotten the hint yet. Until one day, he invites you to the roof.
ঌ ♡ ໒ —VALENTINES? (soon !)
♡ GENRE: fluff, cannon compliant
♡ WARNINGS: small cursing, suggestive jokes ?
SYPNOSIS. You and Satoru have known each other for a year or two. You both were mutual friends and started getting close to one another. You both developed feelings but kept it a secret from one another. Valentine's Day is approaching, and Satoru is planning on asking you out, while getting you the best gifts, of course.
ঌ ♡ ໒ — HONEY (soon !)
♡ GENRE: Smut, cannon compliant
♡ WARNINGS: smut, praising, oral (f receiving), small cursing, fingering, unprotected sex, Gojo being whipped for reader, p in v, breeding kink, dom Gojo, sub reader, established relationship
SYPNOSIS. Your husband is stressed due to the higher-ups always nitpicking him, so now, you take it upon yourself to relieve his stress.
ঌ ♡ ໒ — WOVEN SOULS (Soon !)
♡ GENRE: fluff, enemies to lovers, Fairy au
♡ WARNINGS: ssmall cursing, the fairies aren't tiny I promise, tiny bit of violence, drinking
SYPNOSIS. In a world full of fairies and ethereal gardens, there is you. You were doing your daily stroll around the woods until you were captured by a fairy hunter. And the fairy hunter is none other than Satoru Gojo.
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TAGLIST: 5/100
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dean-winchester-is-a-warrior · 11 months ago
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The Dangers of Hope Ch. 2
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Series Summary: When Y/N shows up at Camp Chitaqua with her little girl in tow, her bloodshot eyes leave no doubt that she's infected. Or is she? Everything Dean has come to know for certain over the last five hellish years, is about to be challenged.
Pairings/Characters in the series: Endverse!Dean x Reader, Emma (OFC), Castiel, Sam Winchester, Lucifer, Michael, Zachariah, Risa, Johnston (OMC), Patrick (OMC), Theresa (OFC),other survivors and soldiers.
Series Explicit 18 +/Warnings: Show level violence, some gore, angst, smut, fluff all the usual for a series of mine. ❤️ Endverse!Dean (that's a warning for his anger and callousness as well as his extreme hotness. 😁) Each chapter will have their own specific warnings.
Chapter Warnings: Not too much. A mention of recurring nightmares, some talk of fears.
Word Count: 4,240
A/N: So, I've had this idea for quite a while. Basically since I watched The Last of Us. I loved Pedro in the role of Joel, but I kept thinking how incredible Jensen would have been. Which then made me think of how amazing he was as Endverse!Dean which then led me to this idea. Lol! I've stolen the premise of Ellie's storyline from TLOU, but made her a grown up, a reader insert, and a love interest for Dean.
If you've never seen TLOU, don't worry - you don't need to have seen it to understand this story. 😊
I've taken some liberties with the Endverse in my story, changed a few things from canon, but kept lots of things too.
I sincerely hope you enjoy the story. It will be ten chapters and I will do my very best to post one chapter every weekend. ❤️
A/N 2: Thank you SO much to everyone who was so kind and gave such a lovely reception to the first chapter of the series. I hope you enjoy this new chapter too! ❤️
Series Master List || Tag Lists
The dividers used here were created by @saradika .
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The big, wide log cabin seemed so completely empty after Dean Winchester left, as though his presence alone was what had filled it.
The blue-eyed man - Castiel - ran after him quickly, shouting an order to a guard outside to let no one go in. 
So Y/N sat completely still, listening to the muffled sounds of camp life happening on the other side of the pine walls. Her exhausted brain was trying to comprehend what had happened, trying to piece it all together.
The first person she'd encountered had been the woman, Risa. She and another soldier had been guarding the border of the camp when Y/N and Emma finally stumbled out of the forest.
Y/N was fairly certain she would have been shot on site if Emma hadn't been there. Instead, their hesitation gave her the chance to swear up and down that, despite appearances, she wasn't a Croat.
The two soldiers had eye-balled each other and Risa had finally told the other guard to stay at the outpost. 
“The Boss is still out on the raid. I'm taking them to Castiel.”
She'd pulled the heavy chains and manacles out of the guard post shack, and brought Y/N, cuffed and bound, to see Castiel. She’d met with him in the big cabin, tying Y/N to the table and then explaining things to him. He'd seemed a bit out of it at first, but then seemed to sober up quickly when Risa explained the situation to him a second time. Then he examined Y/N and made her tell him the story again. His face got progressively more dumbstruck as she spoke.
When he was informed that the Boss was back, he'd told Risa to take Emma away somewhere safe while they all talked.
Now, in the big, lonely cabin Y/N had to shake her head. She’d been so certain, in the end, that she was going to die. But Dean had walked away and left her breathing.
Just another miracle that somehow kept her alive for one more day.
The evening wore on and the light began to disappear, leaving only a dusky blue twilight inside the cabin. She didn't like the night time and the dark. It was a fear that had started with the poltergeist when she was sixteen - when every time she turned off the light and closed her eyes, something evil emerged to cause her pain and terrorize her in the dark.
Before long, the very last of the twilight left the room, and unknown, unkind darkness loomed all around her, and she began to feel the panic rising. But suddenly, just before it could take hold completely, Dean strode through the door, carrying a bright lantern that banished the dark. She breathed a sigh of relief, thankful to see him in spite of everything.
He moved to stand directly in front of her, almost exactly where he stood when he’d elected not to shoot her. She looked up at him and gave a slight smile, not knowing what else she could do. Then she thought to ask the question foremost on her mind.
“Can I see Emma? I'd like her to know I'm safe.”
“No.” He said, shooting down the request without hesitation. He moved over to a metal folding chair that sat at the end of one of the tables and pointed at it.
“I'm gonna sit right here, all night, not sleeping. And if you so much as twitch? I promise I'll put you down.”
Y/N still couldn't help but appreciate the light he'd brought in for her, and the fact that she was still breathing, so she gave another half smile. “Okey dokey.”
He looked briefly taken aback by her response before his scowl returned. He plunked himself down on the chair and folded his arms across his chest, sitting up ramrod straight. It didn't look very comfortable.
But then, her spot on the hard floor, chained to the table, wasn't all that comfy either. But she decided she was grateful that the length of the chain allowed her to comfortably move her arms around. That was something.
She leaned back against the wide metal leg of the table and tried to relax. But soon her active mind was wandering and she stole a glance at Dean, wondering about how very different he was now. Of course twelve years was a long time in the best of circumstances. Twelve years spent fighting monsters and battling through an apocalypse was bound to change a person. 
As she stared at him he turned his head and caught her at it outright. She blushed slightly and decided to cover with a question. “Can I see Emma tomorrow?”
“No.” Dean said before going back to staring at the far wall.
His outright refusal was frustrating. But she worried that arguing with him might be considered “twitching”, so she kept her mouth closed.
The silence stretched out again and made Y/N antsy. She was used to Emma’s little-girl-babbling, her singing, and just her general five-year-old noisiness. The camp was mostly silent on the other side of the wall as well, only the crickets could be heard, playing their creaky songs.
Her eyes once again settled on the only interesting thing in the room, Dean. She tried to be less obvious about staring this time, but realized she’d failed when he spoke harshly without looking in her direction.
“Why are you staring at me?” His voice was full of annoyance.
“I’m not.” She said quickly and unconvincingly.
He finally looked at her and his face was cold and angry. She remembered that he used to have a really bright, beautiful smile. 
“Why can’t I see Emma?” She asked, aware she was probably pushing buttons she shouldn't.
Dean ignored her and slowly looked away again. Y/N huffed out an angry puff of air and despite her worries about riling him, decided to argue. “She’s my daughter. I just want to make sure she’s okay, and let her know that I’m okay too.”
He remained silent and Y/N’s voice became desperate. “Please!”
Dean swung his head back to look at her angrily. “Look, I’m probably going to end up shooting you. When that happens, do you want her to have to go through all of it again? Or worse, have her sitting in the room when you turn and I have to take you out?”
Y/N felt a lump form in her throat, but she shook her head. “No.” She said softly.
Dean lifted his hand and then dropped it, looking away again. “So okay. Then shut up about it.”
Y/N was only a little offended and sighed slowly. After being quiet for a minute she spoke with another frustrated sigh. 
“Okay, but do we just have to sit here? This is boring.” Her eyes lit up slightly. “We could play twenty questions.”
Dean looked back at her and his expression was finally registering as something other than angry or blank. He obviously thought she was nuts. 
She shrugged. “Just to pass the time.” When he just continued to stare, she shook her head. “No? How ‘bout the alphabet game?”
Dean’s perplexed expression fell back into his usual scowl but Y/N trudged on anyway. “The alphabet game is where you pick a subject, like countries of the world, or 80s action movies or something, and then go back and forth, each having to come up with something that matches the next letter. Like if I said ‘Action Jackson’, you’d say…’Beverly Hills Cop’, then I’d say-”
“Shut. Up.” Dean said succinctly. His mossy green eyes were dark, and quiet frustration oozed out of him.
Y/N slumped back against the table leg. “Sorry. I talk when I'm nervous, and when I’m bored. So, it’s a double whammy here. Hence the motor mouth.”
“Go to sleep.” Dean said in a clipped tone.
“I have too much adrenaline for sleep. I WAS almost shot today, after all.”
Dean’s jaw clenched before he looked away from her again and leaned back slightly in the chair. “If you don’t shut up and go to sleep I may change my mind about the ‘almost’ part.” 
Y/N bit her lip trying to suppress a giggle as exhaustion and adrenaline combined with her twisted sense of humor. The result was a loud snort that had Dean once again looking at her like she was nuts.
She smiled at him, wishing he’d smile back, and shared the movie quote that was tickling her funny bone. 
“Good night, Westley. Good work, sleep well. I’ll most likely kill you in the morning.”
When Dean just stared at her silently, she shook her head. “Princess Bride? No? It’s a classic.” 
She swore she saw his hand move towards the holster on his thigh and she raised her hands in surrender. “Okay. Sorry. I’ll be quiet now.”
Dean stared a while longer at her and she wondered if he really was contemplating shooting her, until he finally looked away and settled himself more comfortably in the chair.
She sighed. It was gonna be a long night.
***
Y/N was floating down a river in a little canoe. Emma was sitting across from her and talking to her, though she was still a baby. 
“We’re lost, Mommy.” She said and Y/N shook her head. She had to keep her baby safe and that included keeping her safe from the truth.
“No we’re okay, baby.” Y/N said as the river got choppy and sharp rocks jutted out, waiting for them around every bend. They careened straight towards one, and Y/N could do nothing to steer the canoe around it; the one oar she had was mostly turning her in circles. They smashed into the rocks and the boat began filling with water.
“Mommy, the water is coming up.” Said Baby Emma. “We’re gonna drown.”
“No, we won’t baby. I won’t let us.”
Y/N tried to scoop the water out with her hands, but it was just too fast. They were sinking. Y/N grabbed for Emma but the baby began to float away. 
“Emma!” Y/N called out to her daughter as she floated farther and farther away. But even though she was almost a mile away, Y/N could still hear her little voice right in her ear.
“You lost me, mommy. I can’t come back, I’m lost.”
“No! I didn’t!” Y/N cried out, jerking awake.
The cabin had sunshine pouring in through the east-facing windows. It was morning, she was alive, and so was Emma, she reassured herself, she was just out somewhere in the camp. Her recurring nightmare could be left in the shadows. She took a deep breath and looked over at Dean. He was staring intensely at her. She raised her hands.
“Sorry, not ‘twitching’, just a bad dream.”
Dean still didn’t blink. It was unnerving. “Did you really not sleep at all?” Y/N asked.
“Said I wouldn’t.”
Y/N took in his posture in the chair, straight and alert; he’d barely moved an inch all night. It made her smile and shake her head.
“Huh.”
Dean’s scowl was firmly in place. “What?” He questioned.
Y/N shrugged. “No, nothing. It’s just good to see that things haven’t changed much, after all.”
Dean scoffed. “Woman, everything in the world has changed.” He looked away from her. “And it just keeps changing every day.”
“Maybe,” Y/N conceded. “But yet here you are, all these years later, and you’re still protecting people.” 
His head swung back towards her and he seemed offended. “What the hell are you talking about?”
Y/N lifted a manacled wrist and gestured beyond the cabin. “You sat up all night, in what I can only assume to be the world’s most uncomfortable chair, to make sure that everyone in the camp was safe from a potential monster.” She shrugged again. “Because you’re still protecting people.”
“That is not what this is.” Dean said angrily, and Y/N raised an eyebrow.
“No?”
“No.” Dean reiterated. “I am the leader of this camp, and leaders do their own dirty work. If you turn, I’m gonna be the one to shoot you.”
“To save your soldiers having to do it.” Y/N said with a nod. 
“No!” Dean barked. It surprised her that he was so angry about what she was saying. It was obvious to her. The hunter she’d known may have turned into a soldier, may have gotten a little harder, but from everything she’d seen, he was still Dean Winchester underneath.
His face was a snarl now, though. “Look, I don’t want you thinking I’m some kind of benevolent nursemaid here.” Dean tried to explain. “Everyone in camp has jobs, has their roles. It’s how we’ve all survived so far. My role is to keep the camp guarded. And I do that so everyone else can perform their roles. It’s simply a matter of survival. If you turn into a Croat and start killing folks, that lowers our numbers, makes us all more vulnerable. That’s all this is. So don’t go thinking I’m some kind of bleeding heart. When the time comes, I will take you down.”
Y/N nodded slowly. “Okay.” She said calmly. She didn’t really believe a word of it. But she wouldn’t argue with his need to make her see him as deadly. 
“I mean it. I won’t hesitate.” Dean said coldly.
“But,” Y/N looked at him and gave a small smile, “you already did. Hesitate, I mean.”
Dean’s jaw ticked. “Are you taunting me?” His voice was low and very menacing. 
Y/N raised her hands, making the chains rattle. “No!” She denied vehemently. “I’m not taunting you, I’m thanking you. That hesitation saved my life.”
Dean’s glare was hot and angry. “Well, like I told you, things change real quick these days, so don’t tempt me.”
He turned away from her again and Y/N lowered her hands. His attitude was not what she’d expected. He honestly seemed insulted that she’d implied that he was a good man who made it his mission to keep people safe.
Silence descended again, until Y/N began shifting around, noisily rattling her chains. 
“Stay still.” Dean barked without looking at her.
“I can’t.” Y/N said, slightly embarrassed. “I…I have to…pee.”
Dean turned to look at her for a moment and then shrugged. “Go ahead.” 
Y/N’s face scrunched up in disgust. “Ew.” When Dean made no move to rectify the situation, she let out an annoyed huff. “Do you at least have a bucket?”
Dean continued to stare at her for a long time, before calling out. “Johnston!”
A thin man holding a rifle stepped in the door. He’d clearly been standing just outside. “Yes sir?”
“I need your help with the latrine.”
“Sir?” The young man’s face was confused and Y/N snorted out a laugh. 
Dean shot her a dirty look. “Shut up.” He ordered. She bit her lip to stifle her smile. 
He turned back to the soldier. “With her, Johnston.” He said, pointing at Y/N. “I need help taking her to the latrines. I’m gonna hold her chains, so I need you to keep a gun on her.”
“Oh!” The man was clearly very relieved. “Yes sir.”
Dean stood up and took a key from the inside pocket of his green canvas jacket, bending to unlock the padlock that kept Y/N attached to the table. He pulled her to her feet and she stumbled into him, her legs being slightly wobbly and asleep from her uncomfortable position.
“Sorry.” She said, suddenly shy as she stood so near him. She looked up into his face and was slightly mesmerized by his shining emerald eyes and the dusting of freckles on his cheeks. He really was remarkably beautiful, moreso today than when he’d come to save her all those years ago.
Dean just grunted and stepped back, holding her thick chains in his big hand easily. He took the lead, his long strides forcing her to jog along behind him or risk being dragged all the way.
The camp was still just waking up and she could smell coffee brewing around the campfires where people sat sleepily rubbing their eyes and then popping them wide open as the strange procession passed by them. She tried to smile at them, but the fear on their faces made her remember her bloodshot eyes, and she lowered her head. They probably thought their leader had gone crazy, dragging a Croat around on a leash.
After a few minutes of walking they reached a row of outhouses, plain but well built. Dean pointed to the one on the end of the row and Y/N went in. She stopped just inside the door, looking back at Dean.
“Are you going to let go of the chain?”
“No.”
She frowned and waved her hand at the wooden door. “I can’t close the door if the chain is in the way.”
Dean just shrugged in answer.
Y/N’s face was imploring. “Come on.”
Dean said nothing.
Y/N gritted her teeth. “Well could you at least look the other way?”
“No.”
Y/N rolled her eyes and let out a little growl of frustration. “For pete’s sake, I am in chains, and you’re holding on to them! Where the hell am I gonna go if you look away for a minute?”
Dean stared at her a moment longer before finally, begrudgingly, turning his head. 
“Thanks.” Y/N mumbled, trying to pull the door over as far as it would go with the chain stopping it. 
When she was finished, she came out with pink cheeks. There was no way both men hadn’t heard her peeing. There were definitely some real indignities involved in people thinking you were a monster.
When they got back to the cabin, Dean was locking Y/N back up to the table, crouched down beside her, when her stomach rumbled from hunger. He ignored it, double checking her manacles before walking out and leaving Johnston watching over her with his rifle.
A few minutes later though, a young girl, probably no more than thirteen, came in with a bowl of oatmeal and some canned oranges. She also had a cold glass of water on the tray and Y/N groaned out loud. She hadn’t realized how thirsty she was until she saw it there. Her groan seemed to startle the girl who was approaching Y/N with considerable trepidation.
Y/N tried smiling again, knowing there was nothing she could do to change her bloodshot eyes, but hoping she could still show kindness in them. 
“Hi.” She said softly. “My name is Y/N, what’s yours?”
“Theresa.” The girl said, as she came a little closer. “Boss told mom to make you some breakfast and she sent me to bring it.”
Y/N nodded. “Thank you so much. It smells delicious. Tell your mother I said thank you as well.”
Theresa nodded back and finally came up beside her to set the tray within reach on the floor. Then she scuttled away quickly and Y/N tucked into the food. The oatmeal was slightly stale and plain with nothing to go in it, but it was warm and filling and the oranges were sweet and juicy despite their slightly tinny taste. It was the best meal she’d had in well over a week and she was grateful to Dean, the man who didn’t care about anyone, for providing it for her.
She hoped Emma was eating well this morning too, and that she was somehow coping with everything. She closed her eyes and tried to send her daughter strength.
The next few days passed much in the same way. Dean would watch her every night, assuring her that he was watching for any signs she was turning. But a couple days in, she woke up in the night to see his head slumped onto his chest, exhaustion finally winning out over any remaining fears he had of her changing.
On her fifth morning, Dean was locking her back up to the table after a visit to the latrines (during which he now allowed her to take the chain in with her and shut the door), when he swore and grabbed onto her right hand. He pushed the manacle up further on her arm and examined her wrist where it had been rubbed raw on the underside.
“What the fuck? Why didn’t you tell me you were hurt?”
Y/N shrugged. “Didn’t hurt that much, and I figured you wouldn’t care, you know, if you were still figuring on shooting me.” She said with a teasing smile.
Dean gave her his usual dirty look. “Yeah well, I wouldn’t want you to die of sepsis before I get the chance.”
He called to Patrick whose turn it was to guard the cabin for that morning. When the red-headed man stepped inside, Dean told him to bring a first aid kit from the medical tent. When Patrick left, Dean pulled another key from inside his jacket and unlocked the manacle on Y/N’s right hand.
Her arm felt strange without the extra weight of the manacle and chain. Dean checked her other wrist, satisfied that she only had the one wound. When Patrick returned with the first aid kit, Dean began cleaning the raw spot on Y/N’s grubby skin. 
As he worked, Theresa came in with Y/N’s breakfast. She pulled up short when she saw Dean there, since he was usually gone by the time she came in. Y/N tried to encourage her forward. 
“Thank you, Theresa. Don’t worry, your boss is just fixing up a scratch on my wrist. You can still bring breakfast over.”
The girl hesitated before moving over to Y/N and setting the tray on the floor. “Have you seen Emma today?” Y/N asked. 
Most of the time, she tried desperately not to think about what her daughter was going through. If she were to dwell on it too long it would drive her mad. As it was, the nightmare of watching Emma float away from her, was coming two or three times a night now.
The girl looked afraid to answer with Dean there and kept glancing over at him, clearly nervous. “It’s okay.” Y/N reassured her again. “Please, how is she?” Y/N asked, aware that desperation laced her voice.
Theresa looked up at Y/N, her big brown eyes far too wise for a thirteen year old girl.
“Sad.” She said simply before standing and scurrying out of the room.
Y/N felt like a knife was twisting in her gut. She closed her eyes and tried to stop her tears from falling, but simply couldn’t. Two fat tears fell down her cheeks as she stared into her lap. Without saying anything, Dean tied a bandage around her injured wrist before tying more gauze around her uninjured left wrist, protecting it from the rough metal.
He cleaned up the first aid kit and left without a word. It was a few minutes before Y/N realized he hadn’t re-manacled her right wrist.
All that day it felt as though a heavy stone sat in her stomach. She barely touched her breakfast (an egg and some sliced fried potatoes) and didn’t have a bite of lunch. She felt terrible wasting the food and insisted Patrick eat it. It tasted like ash to her and she simply couldn’t swallow. All she could think about was Emma and how she was hurting.
Her ability to compartmentalize her pain and fear was breaking down as worry and heartbreak took over everything. 
That evening, Dean showed up earlier than usual. He walked right up to her and, kneeling beside her, unlocked her other manacle so that she was free of the chains at last. She gave him a quizzical look.
“What are you doing?”
Dean shrugged. “It’s been nearly a week that you’ve been here and almost two weeks since you got bit.” His usual scowl was highlighted by confusion in his green gaze. “I don’t know what the hell is going on here, but it seems increasingly unlikely that you’re gonna start foaming at the mouth any time soon, so…”
He stood up and moved away, nodding to someone outside. Risa stepped through the door and behind her, holding her hand, was Emma.
Y/N gave out a loud cry of surprise, too many emotions flooding her at once to articulate any actual words. She tried to leap to her feet, but ended up stumbling back to her knees as Emma launched herself at her.
“Mommy!” Emma’s tears and sobs soon choked anymore words out of her as well. 
Y/N wrapped her daughter up tightly in her arms. “Oh, baby, baby!” She buried her face in her daughter's long hair, squeezing her too hard, she knew, but she couldn’t help it. She’d been so terrified she’d never get a chance to hold her again, so she savored the moment briefly before turning her head to where Dean was standing by the door.
Her throat was choked, but she pushed the words out. “Thank you. Thank you.” It was all she could say.
Dean didn’t respond and just walked out the door.
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Jensen RPF and Any/All Characters: @lyarr24 @lacilou @deans-spinster-witch @globetrotter28 @suckitands33 @akshi8278 @evznackles @jackles010378 @impala67rollingthroughtown @krazykelly @candy-coated-misery0731 @envyaurora95 @spnwoman @deans-baby-momma
Dean Fics Only: @roonthelittlespoon920 @slamminmine @zepskies @deangirl96
Any/All Fics Regardless of Character or Fandom: @kazsrm67 @slut-for-evans-stan @sexyvixen7 @nancymcl @waywardcheshire
Everything Incl. Fan Edits: @k-slla @leigh70 @eevvvaa @kickingitwithkirk @foxyjwls007 @notinthislife50 @roseblue373 @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @avanatural @mrsjenniferwinchester @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone
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pedroscurls · 2 years ago
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Hi there! I’m J. Below the “keep reading” line is my ultimate masterlist for the stories I’ve written for Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Pedro Pascal characters! Please note that all stories at 18+ and this list is very long, so if there are any issues with any of the below links, please let me know! 
Happy reading!🫶
1️⃣ = One-shots || ✍ = Multi-chaptered stories / WIP (✍️✅ = complete)
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FRANKIE “CATFISH” MORALES (triple frontier)
1️⃣ Always Here For You: Frankie comforts you as you cope with your grief. (Francisco “Catfish” Morales x fem!Reader || part of the pedrostores 1k celebration)
✍✅ Chance Encounters: You’ve suddenly and tragically lost your best friend and can’t handle the grief. Until four strangers give you a glimmer of hope that things will (and can) get better. (ultimately a story about working through grief with the help of our four boys from Triple Frontier)
1️⃣ Hold My Hand: For years, you have been in love with Frankie. Everyone else saw it, except him, and you never had the courage to tell him how you truly felt. Instead, you stuck by his side even when it hurt. And after Colombia, he hadn’t been the same. You knew he had demons (being a veteran and all), but this… This was different. Would Frankie finally open his eyes and realize that the woman he was meant to be with had been right in front of him all along? (Francisco “Catfish” Morales x fem!Reader)
✍️✅ Third Time’s A Charm: There is history between you and Frankie. In fact, you have both broken up twice and yet, you still seem to find your way back to each other. Could this third chance be the last and final one? (Francisco “Catfish” Morales x fem!Reader)
JAVIER PEÑA (narcos)
1️⃣ All We Are: You and Javier have history and have been in this endless cycle for years, always trying to “one-up” each other, but what happens after a night of steamy, dirty sex that the truth finally comes out? (Javier Peña x fem!Reader)
1️⃣ Innocent Eyes: Javier and his partner, Steve Murphy, finally have one night off. So, when they go to a local bar to unwind, Javier certainly wasn’t expecting you to walk through the doors. (Javier Peña x fem!Reader)
JOEL MILLER (the last of us)
✍️✅ Always Been You: You and Joel have become best friends, but as the years pass, you both realize that the love you have for each other goes beyond just “best friends”. Will either of you have the courage to express your true feelings or will you both just remain secretly in love with each other? (no-outbreak!Joel Miller x fem!Reader)
✍️ Broken Souls: What happens when you realize love isn’t enough? And when years later, you meet again that all the pain and heartbreak comes rushing back… Like it never left. (Joel Miller x fem!Reader)
✍️ Dirty Little Secret: When your best friend and his fiancée, Sarah, have their belated engagement party (kicking off their pre-wedding parties), you meet the father of the bride and realize that he’s completely off limits. But you always did like older men, and Joel? Well, maybe he could be your dirty little secret. (age-gap, no-outbreak!Joel Miller x fem!Reader)
1️⃣ Guys Night Out: Tommy takes Joel to a strip club. (Joel Miller pre-apocalypse x fem!Reader)
1️⃣ In Case You Didn’t Know: Joel steps out of his comfort zone and puts his feelings into words the best way he knows how. (Joel Miller x fem!Reader)
✍️✅ One Drunken Night: Reader’s date stands her up, so she decides to stay at the bar anyway. Then, she meets Negan who unravels her entire world. All the while, trying to navigate her relationship with Joel. (Negan x fem!Reader, Joel Miller x fem!Reader, TLOU x TWD crossover)
✍️ The Teacher: You have been on your own for over a year and after Maria saves you and brings you to Jackson, you try and settle in, doing your best to contribute to the community. Though, it doesn’t help that your neighbor, Joel Miller, reminds you of a special person from before Outbreak day. (Joel Miller x fem!Reader)
MARCUS PIKE (the mentalist)
✍️ Second Chances: After Marcus moves to DC - alone - he’s determined to just focus on work. After a failed marriage followed with his failed relationship with Lisbon, Marcus believes that love just isn’t in the cards for him anymore. Until you move in next door. (Marcus Pike x fem!Reader)
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DENNY DUQUETTE (grey’s anatomy)
✍️✅ Dear Maisie: Maisie receives a letter. (Denny Duquette x fem!OC)
✍️✅ Love At First Sight?: Jess meets an unlikely stranger that changes her life forever. (Denny Duquette x fem!OC)
1️⃣ Our Confession: Denny has a confession to make. (Denny Duquette x fem!Reader)
1️⃣ Our Happy Ending: Denny and Izzie finally have their happy ending. (Denny Duquette x Izzie Stevens)
1️⃣ Our Own ‘Getaway’: Denny notices the change in your demeanor and despite being stuck in a hospital, he decides to comfort you in a way he only knows how. (Denny Duquette x fem!Reader)
1️⃣ Reassure Me: After being released from the hospital since his heart transplant, Denny feels a bit self-conscious with his new scar. (Denny Duquette x fem!Reader)
IKE EVANS (magic city)
✍️✅ Fatal Attraction: Diana is newly married to Ben Diamond, also known as The Butcher. However, after meeting Ike Evans, the charming older gentleman of the Miramar Playa, she can’t help but indulge in an intimate relationship with the man. Can she keep this a secret from her dangerous husband? (Ike Evans x fem!OC)
1️⃣ Fever: Ike’s entertainment manager hires a burlesque dancer that catches Ike’s attention. (Ike Evans x fem!OC)
1️⃣ Gender Reveal: Ike and Vera find out the gender of their baby. (Ike Evans x Vera Evans)
1️⃣ Playing with Fire: Your father stays in one of the suites at the Miramar Playa, and the hotel’s owner, caters to his every need. But, when you finally see what this man looks like, you cannot help but tease him every chance you could get. (Ike Evans x fem!Reader)
✍️✅ Sway With Me: Ike, a business professor and hotel owner of the Miramar Playa, meets an unexpected woman that catches his interest. (Ike Evans x fem!OC)
1️⃣ Your Secret’s Safe With Me: Ashton has a secret that only Ike knows. (Ike Evans x male!OC)
JASON CROUSE (the good wife)
1️⃣ I Won’t Give Up: Jason reminds his wife, Jen, just how important and loved she is. (Jason Crouse x OC)
1️⃣ Let Me Make it Up to You: Once at home, waiting for Jason, a burglar enters your home. (Jason Crouse x fem!Reader) 
1️⃣ Let’s Stargaze: After a long day at work, you decide to cook dinner for Jason and your son, Luke, while the two stargaze out in the backyard. (Jason Crouse x fem!Reader)
1️⃣ Not What It Seems: Deciding to bring Jason lunch, you weren’t expecting to witness when showing up to his office. (Jason Crouse x fem!Reader)
1️⃣ Old Friends: It’s been twenty years since Jason and [Y/N] have seen each other. (Jason Crouse x Reader)
✍️✅ Protect Me: Samantha, a freelance writer, moves to Chicago. She didn’t expect to be a victim of a stalker, but what happens when she seeks professional help from Alicia and Lucca? Then Jason Crouse, the private investigator, comes in and offers his help. (Jason Crouse x fem!OC)
1️⃣ Sunday Funday Surprise: Jason and his daughter, Susie, plan a surprise for Mother’s Day. (Jason Crouse x fem!OC)
1️⃣ Take A Bite: Jason introduces Alicia to something new. || part of jeffreydeanmorganrarechar/ladylorelitany‘s Red Velvet challenge. (Jason Crouse x Alicia Florrick)
1️⃣ Teasing is a Fun Game: After a few trysts with Jason, he shows up unexpectedly during your lecture and all you can think of are the intimate moments you two shared. (Jason Crouse x Reader)
1️⃣ The Newest Family Addition: Jason and Jen tell Susie the good news, but as the months progress and Jen’s baby bump begins to show, Susie becomes anxious that her parents will replace her. (Part 2 to Sunday Funday Surprise).  (Jason Crouse x fem!OC)
1️⃣ The Other Sister: You accidentally walk in your older sister, Alicia’s, apartment to find her newest affair naked on her bed. (Jason Crouse x fem!Reader)
1️⃣ You Are Mine: Jason reveals his jealous side. (Jason Crouse x Reader)
MAX (the resident)
1️⃣ Coffee Date: Since Max wasn’t going to make the first move, you take him by surprise and ask him out for coffee. (Max x fem!Reader)
1️⃣ Similar Personalities: Max needs some comforting and turns to you to make him feel better. What he didn’t expect was for you to find out his secret, and more than willing to partake in one of his fantasies. (Max x fem!Reader)
1️⃣ The Breakthrough: What if Juliet didn’t stop Max? Would that have changed everything? (Max x Juliet)
1️⃣ You’re Safe With Me: Max didn’t expect for you, the new tenant, to be newly divorced with two young children. However, the more time he spent with you, the more he realized that you had taken him out of the walls and shown him a world that he always knew he could live. (Max x fem!Reader)
NEGAN SMITH (the walking dead)
1️⃣ A Broken Facade: Negan gives Father Gabriel his confession. In doing so, a vivid memory enters his mind about the one person he failed to protect. || part of flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash writing challenge. (Negan x Lucille)
1️⃣ A Flood of Old Memories: While singing in the shower, Negan overhears the song that brings back old memories that he has tried to suppress for so long. (Negan x fem!Reader)
1️⃣ A Hands-On Demonstration: Negan shows you just how it’s like to be pleasured by a real man. (Negan x fem!Reader)
1️⃣ A Private Dance: As a new dancer, you try and familiarize yourself with the regulars, listening to the other women’s advice. However, your eye catches a man in a leather jacket sitting towards the back of the room. (Negan x fem!Reader)
1️⃣ A Proper Thank You: An underestimated, young Savior saves Negan’s life and he repays her the only way he knows how. (Negan x fem!OC)
1️⃣ An Unwanted Flashback: After Negan makes Carl face down onto the pavement, flashbacks from the Claimers enter the young boy’s mind and goes into a mental breakdown. (Negan x Carl)
1️⃣ Baby, I’m Back!: After his month-long supply run, you and Negan show each other just how much you missed one another. (Negan x fem!Reader)
1️⃣ Coach Negan: Coach Negan takes a liking to you and after he witnesses the bullying that you endure, he shows you just exactly how special you are. (Negan x fem!Reader)
✍️✅ Coach Negan: You always loved sports. Most specifically, basketball. After deciding to join the new season after a very embarrassing last season, you believe that you could change the team’s bad luck and bring them to the championships, but you weren’t expecting the team’s coach to be as good looking as him. It was going to be tougher than you planned. (Negan x fem!Reader)
1️⃣ Control: You and Negan have the same temperament, and when you both get into an argument, it is always a battle of power and control that ultimately leads to angry, rough, dominant sex. In this instance, who wins the argument? (Negan x fem!Reader
1️⃣ Goodbye My Lover: Negan knows what’s to come, but he can’t seem to come to terms with it. Lucille was the woman he loved, despite everything he had done || Inspired by “Here’s Negan” (Negan x Lucille)
1️⃣ Hurt Me: You finally have enough of Negan’s behavior towards you. (Negan x fem!Reader)
1️⃣ I Don’t Wanna Live Forever: Negan realizes the truth to the saying, “you never know what you have until you’ve lost it.” When you, one of his wives, decide to leave him, you wonder if you’ve made the right decision and Negan starts to question if he should have let you go in the first place. (Negan x fem!Reader)
1️⃣ I Know Your Secret: After a year from being accepted into The Sanctuary, you had become one of Negan’s top Saviors. During a night of fun with the rest of your fellow Saviors, Negan drops in and decides to tease you for hiding such an “important” secret. (Negan x fem!Reader)
1️⃣ I Truly Am Sorry: Witnessing your father’s death broke you and the one man that has been haunting your nightmares finally show up for the first pick-up. (Negan x fem!OC)
1️⃣ I Trust You: Negan asks Mary an important question that will change her entire life. (Negan x fem!OC)
1️⃣ It’s Over: Negan doesn’t understand that your affair with him is over. You, however, had enough and finally lose control || part of @embracetheapocalypsewithme‘s 400 Follower Negan Challenge. (Negan x fem!Reader)
✍️✅ Just the Three of Us: You meet Negan and Simon at a bachelor party and realize a hunger you never knew you had. What happens when you finally are able to have each of them and then suddenly, the world collapses? (Negan x fem!Reader x Simon)
1️⃣ Let Me Take Care of You: After sorting out the supplies from a successful run on a hot, summer’s day, you accidentally cut yourself after opening a box with your knife. Negan takes notice and decides to take care of it himself. (Negan x fem!Reader)
1️⃣ Let’s Make A Deal: After the deaths of Glenn and Abraham, Rick and the rest of the group have been on edge. Hannah didn’t know what she had gotten herself into when joining this group, but she was just about to find out what had everyone working their asses off. Negan shows up and offers her a deal that she cannot refuse. (Negan x fem!OC)
1️⃣ My Not-So Little Girl: Pre-apocalypse AU. Negan gives his daughter, Casey, advice on how to drive and it gets out of hand. || Part of flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash writing challenge. (Negan x fem!OC)
1️⃣ Now, What Do We Have Here?: You have been living in the Sanctuary for two months now and neither men showed any interest towards you. Though, it is a good thing that you’ve got a vivid imagination and after a long day at work, you decide to let out some steam. (Negan x fem!Reader x Simon)
✍️✅ One Drunken Night: Reader’s date stands her up, so she decides to stay at the bar anyway. Then, she meets Negan who unravels her entire world. All the while, trying to navigate her relationship with Joel. (Negan x fem!Reader, Joel Miller x fem!Reader, TLOU x TWD crossover)
1️⃣ Our First Night: Lara has a big crush on the leader of the Sanctuary, Negan. Tonight, though, she finds out just exactly how mutual the feelings are. (Negan x fem!OC)
1️⃣ Save Me: Rick and Shane receive a call about a domestic disturbance, but so did Negan and Simon. (Rick x Shane x fem!Reader x Negan x Simon)
1️⃣ Straight for the Castle: King Ezekiel’s daughter, “Princess” Ramona, has a plan to overthrow her father and take over the Kingdom. When her plan finally goes through, Negan shows up at the gates of the Kingdom while her father was on a supply run. (Negan x fem!OC)
1️⃣ Talk Dirty to Me: You can’t help but be attracted your leader, to your Savior, Negan. What happens when he brings you back to his office? Will it finally happen? (Negan x fem!OC)
✍️✅ The Moon: Luna, a shy and timid woman, encounters Negan who is the complete opposite. Negan tries to break her out of her shell, but will it work? It was going to be tough, especially since he reminds Luna of her late husband… And not in a good way. (Negan x fem!OC) 
1️⃣ The Physical: Going to the doctor’s have always been a big fear of yours and now that you were waiting for your doctor to enter the room, he walks in with a large grin and deep dimples || part of noodlescupcakes 1st Writing Challenge. (Negan x fem!Reader)
1️⃣ The Proposal: @a-girl-interupted​ requested: “I had an idea of a character with negan where she eventually becomes his/a wife and somehow he realizes how important it would be to her to have an actual proposal and wedding. We dont want to Negan too soft and the details are up to you but I would cry to see this” (Negan x fem!OC)
1️⃣ The Punishment: You hire a lawyer after being wrongfully accused of a crime. However, your lawyer, Negan, has a different way to punish you || pre-apocalypse AU. part of flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash‘s writing challenge. (Negan x fem!Reader)
1️⃣ Unknown Feelings: Negan takes notice of one of the new Saviors during their weekly game night with the rest of the guys. Though, what he doesn’t expect is the feelings that follow… (Negan x male!OC)
1️⃣ You Belong to Me: You didn’t realize what you were getting into after stealing the supplies. However, what you also didn’t expect was to be attracted by the man who ultimately had your fate in his hands. (Negan x fem!Reader)
1️⃣ You, Doll, Are Special: You and Negan finally give in to one another. (Negan x fem!Reader)
1️⃣ You’ve Got A Friend in Me: Negan realizes that Fat Joey has a sister. Little does he know, she’s also got a voice of an angel. (Negan x fem!OC)
THE COMEDIAN (watchmen)
1️⃣ A Double Life: Eddie secretly leads a double life, but as his wife, you think it’s time that he hangs up his costume as “The Comedian.” (The Comedian x fem!Reader)
1️⃣ Opposites Attract: Can the God of War and the Goddess of Love and Beauty – both opposite sides of the spectrum – find a way to meet in the middle? || part of jeffreydeanneganstrash 1k writing challenge. (The Comedian x fem!OC)
1️⃣ Unsteady: Eddie turns to you for some stress relief. (The Comedian x fem!Reader)
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corazondebeskar-reads · 1 year ago
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fic recs - Joel Miller (one-shots pt. 2)
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fic recs for one-shots starring Joel Miller.
Key: 🏴 = dark, 💕 = fluff, ⛓ = rough/bdsm elements, 💀 = dead dove do not eat
Mind the warnings, and please read responsibly. you control your own media consumption.
All Fic Recs | TLOU Fic Recs | Joel series | one-shots pt. 1
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fluff
💕 as natural as another leg around you in the bed frame by @tightjeansjavi
summary: Joel returns home to you after patrol injured, and hiding it from you.
catching by @softlyspector
summary: None of your partners had ever been able to make you come before. Joel changed that.
safe and sound by @joelsgreys
summary: Your daughter has a nightmare—her daddy makes it all better.
keep you warm by @alwaysmicado
summary: You reveal to Joel that you are carrying his child. He vows to keep you both safe and warm, always.
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no outbreak/AU
⛓ spend all your love making time by @haylzcyon
summary: You're everything Joel never knew he needed.
Lay Off The Flannels by @endlessthxxghts
summary: Joel gets handsy while your father temporarily steps away.
💕 Honey-Do by @kiwisbell
summary: It’s Sunday, chore day, and Joel has a honey-do list item of his own: get his girl pregnant.
freeze-thaw by @covetyou
summary: With your holiday plans ruined when a freak snow storm blows through town, you spend the fesitve period holed up with your partner, Joel Miller, learning exactly how warm you can keep each other in the snow.
Met the Devil Last Night by @pedgito
summary: i made a joke about wanting to screw dirt-covered joel even if he was deep in trenches of hell and...well, yeah. this is pure filth and nothing else. porn with minuscule plot, if you will.
⛓ diet mountain dew by @mochiduh
summary: your boyfriend has been cheating on you, but his uncaring, selfish, and very flirtatious father wants to make it up to you the best way he knows how...
⛓ In the Next Room by @atticrissfinch
summary: When the peace and quiet of your apartment is disturbed by the noisy escapades of the couple in the neighboring unit, you find yourself entranced by the mystery man on the other side of the wall. And when you stumble upon him on a dating app…well, it might just be fate.
walking through fire by @macfrog
summary: you’re neck-deep in a bout of seasonal depression. your boyfriend suggests an autumnal walk.
crystal by @ezrasbirdie
summary : Joel's live-in girlfriend is a little witchy. It takes some getting used to.
Sticky by @ezrasbirdie
summary: You send Joel a new toy to keep him occupied while you're away.
sundown by @bageldaddy
summary: you're used to being alone. that changes when joel moves into the trailer across from yours.
what happens after by @hellishjoel
summary: A string that pulled you out of all the wrong arms, right into that dive bar. And what happens after
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holiday themed
Saints and Sinners by @loquaciousferret (ft. bonus Javier Peña)
summary: The yearly Halloween rendezvous with your long-term no-strings lover Joel Miller is set to be shaken up when he invites a third- Javi Peña- to your hotel room.
need that charles dickens by @janaispunk
summary: “What do you say, have I been a good elf for Santa?”
“Am I Santa in that scenario?”
“Sure,” you grin mischievously, “if you come down my chimney.”
baubles by @covetyou
summary: Santa Joel fucks you with his balls. That's it.
photograph by @tightjeansjavi
summary: Ellie gifts Joel a present worth more than a million words.
Here cums Santa Claus by @softpascalito
summary: Jackson needs a Santa Claus - and Joel is the perfect fit. Getting to have you on his lap is just a bonus.
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squirming by @frannyzooey
summary: you share a sleeping bag with joel
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y2kas13 · 10 months ago
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Part two…
I think I may have perceived the Neil druckmann situation to be a little different than you did. Neil druckmann is from Israel and witnessed this brutality and genocide first hand, since Palestine and Israel have been fighting for many years! He said witnessing this caused a deep anger in him that he harnessed when writing tlou2…
I thought he was using art to make a comment on the situation. Like, he wanted to show that constant fighting over land and religion never leads to anything good. Literally, they showed that the constant fighting between the scars and WLF lead to the demise of both groups. As Shakespeare said, art holds a mirror to reality. Through art, we can make intentional choices that will evoke certain feelings in people. Because of all of the vengeance and violence they participated in, Abby and Ellie both lost everything. Could it be that this theme was missed by you? Art is meant to evoke visceral responses, so it kinda seems like he did his job with that. Also, he supplied financial support to both the Palestine and Israelis, so I’m not entirely sure how it was concluded that he hates Palestine. (I think what is happening oversees is absolutely disgusting, but I don’t see how Naughty Dog is perpetuating the war. Also, you never know what someone has been through or seen, so you really can’t condemn people for compartmentalizing in order to make it through. That is how/why some people are able to temporarily put the bad shit to the back of their mind for a few hours while they click some buttons on a controller.) What is the goal with not buying remastered tlou2? I want to help, but I don’t see how not purchasing a video game will make anything better. I want to understand. Remastered was auto-downloaded to my ps5, since I had it in my wishlist for a while. They already have my money for it, so might as well play it? They can’t benefit anymore from me playing it I don’t think…
while I can agree in the game you see how both side's actions are harmful to one another this isn't the case in real life. In Tlou its clear cut that no side is truly "evil" just the product of violence that isn't their own until they take on the violence but that's not the case in real life with Palestine and Isreal which is where I believe you are misconstruing what I'm trying to say. Palestine didn't do anything to Israel at least not in the same capacity as what Israel has done to them.
Tlou and Palestine/Israeli conflict are different in the sense that there is clear right and wrong, now am I going to sit here and say Palestine is completely 100% innocent no. But in this conflict yes. The people of Palestine shouldn't have to suffer because another nation wants to selfishly take what not there's and kill them to get it.
I am not claiming he hates Palestine but I don't think its fair for him to act like its some their both bad and good on both sides Israelis can walk free in their streets while Palestinians wonder if they will be shot down in there own to "be made an example of". it's not a fair nor accurate representation of the truth.
Not purchasing Tlou 2 shows that using real-world suffering for your profit and gain and not even doing them justice and being fair isn't right nor will be tolerated.
If you truly "want to help" and understand don't argue with me in my asks listing to the dozens of real Palestinians begging you to do what you can and if that means not buying a game then so be it. don't you think they want to be able to sit back and a play game.
I hope this cleared up for you and others why people like me are putting the pressure to not buy and boycott the game.
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peachyspaceslvt · 2 years ago
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Nine People You'd Like To Get To Know Better
thank you @raiphend for tagging me!! 💖
no pressure at all @sunflowergirl522 @sweeneygirl99 @bamiwijf @megplant @aaronperryjohnson @eefos @kpopgirlbtssvt @boguskudos @tresvagas
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➠ last song: The Show Must Go On - Queen ← my favorite band I love Freddie so much I have his name tattooed on my arm lmao
➠ last show/movie: The Shadow Riders with Tom Selleck and Sam Elliot, mostly because it just happened to be on this morning, but also because Sam Elliot's mustache is my guilty pleasure. Tom Selleck's is cool too.
➠ currently watching: The Last of Us on HBO, pretty much along with everyone else here I think. It's rare that I make myself sit down and start new shows, so the list of "gonna watch this at some point" is quite long lol
➠ currently reading: mostly been reading for Tangerine lately, and mainly one shots right now (shoving my long list of "marked for later" fics under the bed), the multi-chapter fics I've been reading are still ongoing so I just catch up on those whenever they get updates! Those are Only If For A Night by @legends-of-apex and Sophisticated by @tawus - highly recommended checking them out!
➠ current obsession: Bullet Train. Tangerine. Surprise. He still has me in a chokehold honestly I'm not sure when I'll escape but I'm having a blast and the fandom is so lovely so it's fine. Also Pedro Pascal as Joel in TLOU has been weaseling his way in recently. Still sort of fandom-related but on the creative side, I've been obsessed with working on this Tan x Reader long fic that I'm desperate to finish and get out before the fandom fizzles out lol - seriously spending my days like some little gremlin hunched over my computer 🤭
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tremendouskoalachild · 2 years ago
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recovering from jaw surgery and shouldn't be laughing or even smiling really, so this week's tlou episode was a great choice! i mean sobbing like a bitch is not ideal either but whatever
lemme just list the heartbreaking moments real quick (might as well be a synopsis of the episode hehehehe)
starting the episode by very pointedly not acknowledging tess's death except joel making a little shrine
the arcade game :(
the fact that many post-outbreak kids just have no clue what even happened
joel's recollection of outbreak day obv
open mass grave of lincoln's inhabitants. the nazis at least hid their warcrimes jesus christ
the transition from corpses in happy bright clothes to the mom and baby still wearing them probably mere hours before their deaths, getting on a transport to a safer place
happy music cutting off as bill eats dinner at a table with an empty chair. due to his interests my guy was probably alone his whole life pre-frank
the implications of a QZ being gone and frank being the sole survivor (presumably of a specific group heading in that direction but still)
everything about how frank gets upon seeing gourmet food/having a hot shower/playing the piano etc
THE KISS the tears the hesitancy the tenderness
young tess and joel, less beaten up. alive tess, period. joel referring to her as "mine", even if he can't name the relationship
ptsd/paranoia positivity
just the reminder that joel had a normal job pre-apocalypse
strawberries
"sorry for getting older faster than you" sad on its own, devastating on a rewatch
the caring expressed by both frank and bill in the gunshot wound scene
the realization of frank's condition through his paintings
"and we'll get married"
on the nature of daylight over shots of their home and sunlight through grass? just start playing the Up opening why don't you
it's the exact same meal and wine as their first meeting but now they're sitting side by side 😭😭😭
one last laugh together
bill's entire letter honestly: joel unable to even read it. ellie stumbling on tess' name. the implication for the future
joel presumably wearing frank's shirt
ellie all excited about being in a car
joel taking steps to protect ellie without any real incentive anymore
final shot through the bedroom window coupled with the song
the fact that i kept off discussions for spoilers and only found out about Annie Wersching (game Tess) dying of cancer today on reddit
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elbracco · 4 years ago
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LiS2 Fanfiction recommendation list - updated
I updated the ff list I made a few months ago. As before, if anyone has any suggestions to add, I’m all ears. I divided the stories into three categories (Post-ending, AUs and Missing Moments) and all the ffs on this list are either completed or still actively updated.
POST-ENDING
Blood Brothers: To Puerto Lobos - And Beyond! by SerratedCucumber, in progress. It starts as the brothers break into Mexico and follows them as they try to build a life for themselves. I swear that I hear Gonzalo and Roman every time that Sean or Daniel say something: the dialogue is that good. 11,000 words for now.
*
Lone Wolf: The One You Feed by zeldanerdster, in progress. This work follows the "Lone Wolf" path immediately after events unfold at the border. Following that, it will chronicle Daniel's experiences for as far as they take him in an effort to reconcile the various open-ended resolutions of Life is Strange 2. Because LW didn’t break our hearts enough. 20,500 words for now. Lone Superwolf by Dreamprism, in progress. The ff begins with Sean’s death at the border and aims to show how Daniel got from the car to the “six years later” scene. The fanfic is written from the perspective of Daniel Diaz, similar to how Sean shares his internal thoughts with the player throughout Life is Strange 2. 17,000 words for now.
*
Parting Ways: After by koldtbold, one-shot. Sean gets to Mexico, Daniel doesn’t. Sean has a lot to do and think about. What I love about this story is that there’s much bitter and little sweet, but like in the game there’s an undercurrent of optimism, a feeling that tomorrow can still turn into a better day. 6,000 words. When There’s Nowhere Else to Run, by Autumnyte, in progress. It begins right after Daniel yeets himself from the car and follows Sean as he tries to build a life for himself in Puerto Lobos. I told Autumnyte that this story feels like a blanket: it’s warm and comfortable. No matter what issues Sean has to deal with, there is a pervasive undertone of "tomorrow will be better" that I think really captures the spirit of the game. He is done running, and he can now start to look to the future with hope. 31,000 words for now.
*
Redemption:
The Bravest Wolf in the World by RoodAwakening, 2 chapters left. Ask anyone for reading suggestions, and they’ll inevitably point you to this story, for a reason. Sean finds out he can use his sketches to time-travel, much like Max did with her photos, prevents Esteban’s death, and has to deal with the consequences as he tries to navigate the new life he made for himself. Wonderful characters, a realistic depiction of trauma, and golden dialogue. I love this Sean, I love the people in his life, I love his interactions with all the characters. 160,000 words (!) for now. A Howl in the Night by Bracco, one-shot. Sean is in prison, and Daniel is free: it’s everything that Sean had wanted when he surrendered. That means he can be happy… right? 28,500 words. Tomorrow's Horizon by AlariOdonell, in progress. A mysterious stranger recruits a post-bay Max Caulfield with the promise to bring Chloe back to life and to right a few wrongs along the way, like those suffered by two brothers. I am very partial to this story because it ticks every box in my list of narrative kinks: a well-written OC, an incoming threat, superpowers, misfits teaming up, IC characters, action and fuzzy feelings... 52,000 words for now, updated bi-weekly. Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want by DarkJaden825698, one-shot. After his sentence, Sean reconnects with some old friends and says some things he didn't get to say when he had the chance. This story is a warm, fuzzy thing where everything goes well for a change. I may also be very partial to the title: that song is tied to some of my fondest memories, so extra points to the author. 4,000 words. Spirit Realm: Road to Redemption by Sombraguerrero, completed. Sean has served his sentence, abbreviated by a lack of success on the authorities' part to attain burden of proof on the supposed major crimes. The public has run out of patience and has allowed Sean and Daniel to try and pick up the pieces, with as much help as they can get along what is once again a rough road. 21,000 words. Stay Strange by DarkJaden825698, completed. Dr. Bright is assigned to Sean Diaz as his therapist in prison, and walks him through his trauma while trying to find him a lawyer to challenge his sentence. Crossover fic between LiS2 and The Bright Sessions podcast - you don’t know anything about the podcast? Me neither, and it’s not an issue. 32,000 words.
AUs
And All These Empty Streets by Riona, one-shot. After the apocalypse, Sean and Daniel have a run-in with Joel and Ellie from TLOU. I think that this is the story that made me realize how I love Sean and Daniel so much that I’m willing to read the weirdest AUs and crossovers so long. It flows really well and it feels natural. 2,000 words.
Riona has written a lot of stories that start from an unexpected premise and draw a little vignette. They are all different from each other and I loved them all. Check out her AO3 profile! Can you give me a hint by Idnis, completed. Teenage Daniel/Chris. If you like “mutual pining” and “dumb idiots in love”, this story will make your day. It’s just... fluffy and sweet and innocent, a tiny bit of teenage drama that Daniel and Chris deserve after everything they’ve been through. 22,500 words. Closer to the Heart by darkjaden825698, in progress. After the shooting, Sean waits for the police to arrive. He’s cleared of all charges and sent to live to Beaver Creek, where he must come to terms with what happened and rebuild a life for himself. A teen drama where nothing bad happens to the boys and they get to live normal lives? Hit me with it. 4,000 words. Double exposure by Riona, completed. It draws inspiration from *Your Name*: Max and Sean begin swapping bodies at random. If the premise doesn’t turn you away, it’s a beautiful bittersweet story about two people trying to help each other while their own worlds are falling apart. 11,000 words. Faithless by HollowK, in progress. Six years after the failed heist, Sean wakes up from his coma and has a brother to find. Exactly: oof. 6,500 words for now. I Took Both Roads, series by owlmug. AU where Esteban isn’t shot. Sean/Finn (with some Sean/Cassidy in the first story). It’s a coming of age story, and I really loved how the author mirrored some situations that are found in the game by giving them a new twist. I won’t lie, these stories hurt, because they made me think about what could have been. The characters are spot on, and the interactions of the Diaz family are golden. Bonus points for having Sean behave like a teenage brat at times, because the boy deserved to have temper tantrums and getting into fights with Esteban over stupid stuff. There are also a lot of beautiful images across the series, a lot of lines that feel raw and powerful, and a lot of healing. At times it’s like having a heart-to-heart with the author. Sometimes I felt that the sex scenes were too long, and some of them I found unnecessary, but that’s just my personal taste. I really liked all the four stories, but the last one is my favourite for sure because it follows Esteban’s point of view and it’s *chef’s kiss*.
 1.       A Way to Reappear (https://archiveofourown.org/works/19096837), 18,000 words. Sean’s POV
2.       A Piece of the Puzzle (https://archiveofourown.org/works/19386670), 26,000 words. Sean’s POV
3.       A Little left Behind (https://archiveofourown.org/works/19852561), 24,000 words. Finn’s POV
4.       (I’ve Been Going Through) a Change (https://archiveofourown.org/works/20562086), 28,000 words. Esteban’s POV.
If I Lay Here by owlmug, completed. Diverges from canon after episode 3. Sean and Finn try to track Daniel down. Sean/Finn, 46,500 words. I can repeat here most of what I wrote for the earlier series: wonderful characterization, beautiful imagery, touching themes, characters that find themselves along the way. Something that makes you go “Please, sir, can I have some more?” at the end of every chapter. i just don’t know how i’m doing (i’m so curious about you) by Larrymurphycansteponme, one-shot. Another High School AU, another wonderful coming of age story for Sean. I wish I could make it justice without repeating everything I said about owlmug’s series: spot-on characterization, a beautiful narrative about growing up and finding one’s way, wonderful imagery. It’s the story of what Sean deserved to have, and one of my favorite ever. 28,000 words.
MISSING MOMENTS
A Night With Misty Mice by That_one_internet_lover, completed. It follows Sean and Lyla’s concert night that is mentioned in his phone chat in ep.1. It’s the first fanfiction I read after my endgame heartbreak: it gave me all the happy Sean I wanted, and even a bit more. The dynamic between him and Lyla is exactly what I pictured from their interactions in the game, put into words by someone who knows what they’re doing. 10,000 words. Astray by Riona, one-shot. Daniel leaves Sean behind after the events of Wastelands. It’s probably more of an AU than a Missing Moment, since it was written before Faith came out and so it’s not entirely canon-compliant, but it’s still a very good window on Daniel’s state of mind after the heist. I’m eternally grateful to Riona for filling some of the gaps that the game left in the development of these wonderful characters. 1,500 words.  Fire and Floods by Riona, one-shot. Sean and Daniel go on the run, and this fic covers the first day of their journey. A spot-on dissection of Sean’s feelings after the shooting. 1,500 words. life is strange 2 poems by Spotsuns, an ongoing collection of one-shots. These stories have all the oooffness of the game. The stories in here hurt. In the good way, but they hurt nonetheless. Beautiful character studies, and some heavy-duty, post-ending feel unpacking. 11,000 words. Never Stop Shining by CorazonDesnudo, in progress. During his stay in Away, Sean receives a letter from Finn with an offer to help him and Daniel cross the border. It’s a chance to come to terms with a lot of things he didn’t really process before. 11,000 words for now. Torchbearers by Riona. Ep.1’s Sean and Daniel run into Max and Chloe among the ruins of Arcadia Bay. I can definitely see this story being a moment of quiet in the game. 2,600 words. What Remains of the Diaz Family by That_one_internet_lover, completed. Lyla sneaks into the Diaz household after the brothers have disappeared. Heartbreaking oofness ensues as Lyla walks through their memories and faces her own pain. 6500 words.
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mellow-em · 4 years ago
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Bedlam (Sam Drake)
CHAPTER 1: LEFT BEHIND
The life she had built in only a year had disintegrated, and she was set on her stubborn mindset of finding her purpose away from Jackson.
I DO NOT OWN ANY TLOU OR UNCHARTED CHARACTERS! ALL RIGHTS GO TO NAUGHTY DOG!
(This is a tlou x uncharted crossover. It’s set in tlou universe, but its a fic between an oc of mine, and Sam! I’m not sure how this is gonna turn out so please bear with me)
Prologue
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-ABOUT 3/4 YEARS LATER-
Nevada, U.S.
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The green inferno of the forest surrounding me was almost suffocating at this point, not to mention my lungs burning from the treacherous run I had to commit to in the boiling temperatures of Nevada not even a few moments ago.  
This trip was supposed to be a simple one to retrieve food, scope out the area, and return to the base I developed overtime. Though, I guess it was my fault to even consider it a non-lengthy adventure, with the infected still coursing through the entirety of the world.
It almost felt like my backpack was weighing on my entire body as I lazily slid myself down against the base of a tree to sit myself onto the foliage. As my  momentary vitality wore away, my limbs weakened with every passing second.
Running aimlessly for your life was the only thing that annoyed the hell out of me, mainly because it happens so often now.
It was mainly caused by the wide ranges of infected that have been circulating this area for weeks, all while trapping me within their circulation as I ventured further into the forest.
Since then, there had been little to no escape from their confinement in the middle of the woods. I would need to break for it sooner or later.
While I knew it was a huge risk, I couldn’t also risk dying from famine or another natural circumstance. Joel had always told me it was ridiculous of me to perceive death as a triumphant experience that needed to be commemorated and memorable.
But to me, if I died from a natural cause, I would feel as though it could be added to the list of wasted opportunities for something all the more grand.
The mind fog slowly engulfing me was blown away by a branch cracking not too far from where I was sitting.
My ears, along with my attention, perked up by the sudden noise.
Shit.
My hand slowly glided across the side of my hip, reaching for what I pray could be a good defense. I felt the slightest bit of relief when I grazed the handle of my switchblade.
The wooden handle was carved smoothly to encase the sharpened metal end; it was something beautifully valuable to me, as it was one of the things that I had left that reminded me of Jackson, and of my surrogate family.
The family I left behind.
There was another small detonation of what now sounded to be leaves crunched on the dirt. Whomever or whatever it was, it wasn’t moving quickly.
My mind first created the image of a clicker, though its grotesque voice wasn’t echoing throughout the trees. My thoughts began to charge as I began contemplating my next move.
As the noises got closer towards the trunk I hid myself behind, my breathing became ragged and unsteady. Growing more frantic, I discarded the knife idea, and reached for my revolver that was wedged into its holster.
Slowly pulling the gun out, my hands gripped it with a force that turned my knuckles into flaming snow. The heartbeat I carried within me scorched in my throat, creating a lump I very much needed to swallow.
I gulped down the blockage harshly, reverberating a sound too loud considering the condition of my surroundings. I cursed myself out in my head for it, knowing I’d have to turn the safety of the gun off not too long after.
I hoped intelligence of what was traveling closer to me was slim to none, mainly because anyone with an average IQ could probably recognise the sounds and cause a scene.
I suck in a cavernous breath, only to release it with a shaken state packaged alongside.
I close my eyes, and prepare for the worst, before raising from my stance on the ground.
My gun was firmly held in front of me, as if it were a barrier from all evil. I only took the time to stare at the culprit of the echoing commotions for a second, before pressing my fingers down on the trigger. 
A low pitched grunt reverberated through my ears, along with the blare of a gunshot. The figure jerked slightly from it’s position while doing so, creating a brief stumble. 
As I lowered the gun from it’s stern position in my hands, an overwhelming wave of tension froze my body in place. 
My thin eyebrows retracted from being furrowed from anger to worry, as did the slight wrinkles present on my features from years of age and affliction. 
The menace responsible for my frightened, yet threatening state wasn’t any form of the fungal infested beings that surrounded this forest.
It was a man.
His back was slightly turned, though I was able to take in a few of his features. His hair was a lighter brown, with the sun brightening its shade by a ton. It was fairly short, though it looked as though it had been neglected.
He held a navy blue long sleeve on his back, with dirt particles, along with sweat coating it altogether. It was fairly warm where we were, so it was apparent that he either wasn’t from here, or he didn’t know how to properly succumb to the weather. 
My eyes then traveled down to his lower back. It was drenched in a hauntingly beautiful shade of crimson. I could clearly hear the rapid breaths fuming from his mouth, almost in the form of a wheeze too. God what have I done.
As soon as I finally had the strength to take a step towards him, his breath hitches. He whips around to face me, giving me an opportunity to take in his face.
I noticed his shrewd blue eyes that were almost a shade of sapphire. Though, I was able to pinpoint multiple blotches of green and lighter hues of turquoise.
Overall though, his eyes were glossed over with sheer pain along with an obvious smudge of exhaustion. 
He held a small amount of stubble along the lines of his sharp jawline and chin. But again, it looked to be just as unkempt as the rest of him. He was a mess of course. But, courtesy of me, he was an even bigger disaster. 
 His face continued to contort in pain, much to my guilt and dismay. The unknown state of his physical trauma unnerved me to no end; I needed to look at the damage I’ve caused for myself. 
“Lift your shirt,” I simply croaked, with me then earning a look of defiance with a hint of panic.
“Why should I-”
“Christ do you wanna die out here?,” I questioned rhetorically, which surprisingly shut him up swiftly.
I knelt down towards the covered wound, though a strong tear was visible on his shirt. 
“Fuck, it shot straight through.” I mumbled to myself, with a string of curse words following after. 
I inspected the shredded fabric for a little longer before remembering the constraint that potential death was forcing him to endure. The pads of my fingertips grazed the shirt gently.
His eyes travel to my hands, watching my fingers place themselves on the hem of his shirt to lift it. 
My eyes widened slightly as I notice his shirt was snug on the wound, most likely making it impossible to lift it without more pain than normal. 
And with that action, a wave of anxiety visibly washes over him, “what is it?”
“Your shirt is stuck to it-.. this is gonna hurt”
“It’s okay I've had wors- oh crap,” his voice crumbled as he hissed the words out, his speech faltering due the pain. 
“Sorry- shit” I stop for a moment to gently life the shirt from the bloodstained skin of his lower abdomen before continuing to raise it any further. Once the shirt was detached from clinging to him, my fingers hoist the shirt upwards delicately, as the man still continues to wince in distress.
The whole mess on his stomach was the scene of a bloodbath; revealing the reason for the floods of ichor that canceled out the tones of his tanned skin.
It was something that definitely can create a burden, or even a grim fate for the poor bastard. A gaping hole surged through his abdomen, with blood now circling the gash.
“Holy fuck,” I breathed out. I rushed to turn away from his injury, with my gag reflex threatening me with my inspections continuing.
He was losing a lot of blood, and at this rate his injury would become infectious if nothing is done quickly. Or he could die right in front of me, and I couldn’t let my carelessness with a gun jeopardize someones life. 
I’m such a fucking idiot.
I let my backpack fall off my shoulders and onto the ground behind me, giving off minimal sound.
A few strands of short hair fell from behind my ears, eventually sticking to my face that happened to be drenched in sweat.
I unzipped my bag, and with no hesitation, I dove my hands in to reach for what I hoped would be exactly what I was looking for.
I felt around the entirety of the pack’s interior, with that sliver of hope deteriorating each time I touched an item. After a few moments of searching through, I could hear the man stumble slightly behind me.
As if on cue, I felt a roll of soft fabric brush the surface of my fingers, and I released a sigh of pure relief. I pull the roll of firm gauze from its original place in my bag, and turn to face the now whimpering man.
I could see tears threatening to form in his eyes as I looked at him, and my lips flatlined; he was in so much pain but he still attempted to hide it. 
His skin was getting to be dangerously pale, with his warm complexion draining with his blood.
I stand from the ground, carefully placing my free hand onto his broad shoulder. He jumped suddenly as I did so, but visibly relaxed as much as he could after a few moments.
“I need you to try and sit on this.” I bob my head towards the direction of a larger rock protruding from the ground beneath. It was covered in mud along with various patches of carpet-like moss, but it would have to do.
He hesitates, pushing me away from him slightly, “I’m gonna be fine I don’t need you to-”
“Not to be rude but shut the fuck up and sit, please” I gave him a pleading stare, hoping he would stop being so damn stubborn.
After taking the deepest of inhales to secure his oxygen, he maneuvers himself to sit on the rock. He remained stiff, still choking on his own projectile yelps of anguish, but he managed to get himself down onto the rock. 
“I’m gonna wrap this around you, alright?” I lean back down onto the ground, closer to his wounded midriff, with the medical wrapping clenched within both of my palms.
The man exchanged a look between my hands that held the gauze, and the expression draped across my face. He looked even more unsure of me now than when he glanced at me the first time after me shooting him, but in all honesty I wasn’t going to judge.
I continued to let him contemplate whether to bail or remain in my care for now, as frustrating as it was getting. I wasn’t usually the type of person to let my impatience tower over my empathy unless necessary, even though I had snapped at him once already.
It wasn’t until I heard the gruesome sounds of the undead not too far from us, that I didn’t wait for a single ounce of approval. No matter what, I wasn’t going to let him die in my sights if I have this chance to save him in front of me.
As I begin to hastily wrap the bandage around his injury, he unintentionally cries out in pain, unknowingly triggering the numbers of infected surrounding the forest.
Their moans of displeasure and sickening thirst for the suffering such as us grew closer, and I began to panic for the crippled human before me.
“Shit, shit, shit.”
“What is it-,” his confusion snapped into worry as soon as a whale of a runner erupts towards the east, “Oh crap.”
“They must've heard the commotion,” I muttered under my breath.
Once I finally wrap the injury to my satisfaction, I bring the roll to my mouth and tear the wrapping away from the roll itself as quickly as I could. While holding the gauze protection in place, I turn around to face my backpack once more.
With another minute passing by, the intense roars of clickers catches my attention now. My rapid breathing began to shake my body, and wrestle with my stomach. I needed to move much faster.
I drop the gauze from my hands in, and replace it with a roll of duct tape. With my mouth, I rip off a large strand of the structured adhesive, placing it over the bandage to hold it in place.
I unravel his now crinkled shirt, covering the work I had just done with one swift motion.
“We have to go. NOW.” I gesture for him to get up with urgency, in which he does so with minimal grace; stumbling slightly with a pained expression drenched on his entire being.
I grab my backpack, and throw it over my shoulders before allowing his arm to swing over my shoulders for support.
I did my best to solely sustain my focus on him as he got situated, annihilating the thoughts of dying in the hands of the infected.
“Get ready to haul ass, come on!”
He grunted in response as I began to trudge through the woodland forest with him fitted at my side.
This ominous feeling of anxiousness while pleading to save another created a sense of deja vu. I’ve been in this situation before, but with someone I once knew. Joel.
History was beginning to replicate, leaving my mind clouded with the thought of each event running its course fully with new people.
I let out an exasperated sigh, annoyed with my unfortunate timing for such conceptions. I needed to focus, not reminisce.
Another groan from behind me resulted in a complete snap back into reality.
While carrying the man’s force, heaves of air continued enter and escape his lips as he began to stumble on his feet slightly. The feeling of his weight was growing heavier, as he became much weaker.
“Shit, stay with me. We got this.” my attempts at reassurance did not prevail however, with his hyperventilation slowly progressing into drawn out sighs.
My grip onto his shoulder tightened, producing a sharpened soreness within my arm. My hold on him was overwhelming my strength, testing my limits as I pulled for him to move more quickly.
Wavering uncertainty of whether or not either of us were going to make it to my base camp alive, sat in the lap of my head. 
There wasn’t anything I could do about it until this heart-racing moment in time subsided; which seemed to not be ending soon enough.
No matter how much effort I put in, getting him to travel at a faster pace was absolutely no use.
He continued to fall in and out of his rush. I knew the swarm was inches from us at this point.
My blood ran cold as I felt a tug on my flesh. I swatted my arm away from the offender, succeeding as I place my arm at my side again. The pain electrified my system.
I felt the frigid sense of my own blood as it drew lines of red down my arm.
I didn’t bother to show any signs of torment, however; my face remained expressionless to keep the man attached to me from dismay.
While looking into the distance, I could see base camp in all its glory; a small, wooden dwelling that looked to be abandoned for years upon years.
To the naked eye, it wasn’t visible. A barricade held its own, as it was tall enough to keep unwanted guests away from the premises. It did its job well.
I look over to the man that unintentionally put his life in my hands. His eyelids were practically shut at this point.
He looked lifeless as he tripped over his own feet, trying to pry himself awake every few seconds.
The words ‘he's gonna die’ circled my brain, shoving me into a further state of panic. 
I shook my head to pin those inquiries to the back of my mind, however, knowing that we just needed to keep pushing. 
“Not much further now.” I mumble.
My heart was racing. My energy was running out, and so was his. But I couldn’t let either of us collapse. My urge for constant heroics weren’t going to fail me now.
An image of Ellie came into my mind.
Her youthful being appeared in the form of a mental photograph.
It felt idiotic, and possibly regrettable, but I needed to save this man, knowing the promise I made to her, and myself.
Find answers. Save who I can.
We were only a few feet from the gates now. We had gained some form of speed to rush ahead of the army of the infected, but I have no idea how.
Pure luck was gonna be my answer to that.
I rearranged our position so that he was now leaning against the barricade walls, as I rushed to open the gates.
“Okay come on big guy.”
He moaned back, reassuring me that he wasn’t quite dead yet. He returned to his place with his arm wrapped around my shoulders, as my other arm was around his.
It wasn’t long before I closed the gates, leaving the both of us alone within the partitions of my own property.  
All while the diseased few left in defeat, scouring within the depths of the forest to ignite another hunt for prey.
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wahbegan · 4 years ago
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Yes, call me a testicle-less softie bleeding heart centrist liberal milquetoastsexual, but I fundamentally really don’t like post-apocalyptic shit, because it’s just so unnecessarily fucking bleak. Specifically zombie apocalypse shit, but let’s be honest, the zombies could be replaced with radioactive spiders from Mars and the story would remain exactly the fucking same.
Now, I know this might turn a few heads, because you LOVE depressing shit, regular readers might say! You have a hard-on for Possum and Spec Ops and the ending of The Mist and Silent Hill 2 and SOMA and all sorts of horrible shit!!
Yes, I do, but the key to making your work of art depressing is to make it depressing in an incisive way. When I first read Rick Grimes say “WE are the walking dead!” in the comics at 15, I thought that was some mind-blowing commentary on the human condition type shit. Again, when I was 15. It’s really not. It’s entry level. Which is what zombie apocalypses are, entry level. 
Anyone wants to deal with moral complexity or protagonists doing shitty things or antagonists having good intentions, or a never-ending train of horrible shit happening to the protagonist, zombie apocalypse is the easy shortcut to it. But this is what it always ends up boiling down to: HUMANS ARE THE REAL MONSTERS WE WOULD ALL DO HORRIBLE THINGS IN THE RIGHT CIRCUMSTANCES
Yeah, everyone knows that. That’s a fact of life accepted by everyone on some level since the age of, idk, around 19 or so? It’s boring, it’s corny, it’s old hat. Zombie apocalypse shit becomes the emotional equivalent of torture porn, where everything is just so bleak and hopeless and depressing and everyone’s so horrible that the end result is you sympathize with no one and don’t care what happens to the world. The gut punch moments become non-effective because how many people can you brutally kill off before it’s just standard operating procedure?
Possum is a powerful fable about the effects of childhood sexual abuse, about how it warps the world. It presents a character who for most of the film up until the very end, you think might be guilty of the worst crime imaginable, but he’s so tortured and vulnerable and pathetic that you feel conflicted about him. It puts you in his headspace very effectively. It’s a legitimately uncomfortable movie, and the main characters’ suffering is cathartic. It has a point.
 The Mist film actually ends, in comparison to the short story, much better for humanity. Outside of this tiny story we’ve been following, it is a happy ending. But the protagonist is brutally punished for giving into despair and doing something monstrous but justified under the circumstances, the kind of shit zombie apocalypse media always espouses. He is immediately and relentlessly punished for it. There was a point. 
Spec Ops the Line only descends into exhaustingly horrible and depressing at the very end after beginning as a very safe American Military Hero story. It was making a point. About war, the mental state of soldiers, American foreign policy, about the fact that they make games out of it.
Silent Hill 2, you can see where i’m going with this. James Sunderland didn’t just suffer because the world is horrible and people are horrible and he was suffering for no reason. He suffered because actions have consequences and you can’t cross certain lines without doing permanent damage to yourself, to your mind. SOMA is about the definition of life, of consciousness, about what it means to BE, about the value of life and at what point, exactly, sustaining life is no longer the right thing to do.
There has to be a point. And it can’t just be relentlessly, all the time, nothing but tragedy. Shit like y’know The Walking Dead, The Road, The Last of Us, you just ask...why? What do these people have to offer me, what’s the take-away message? TLOU 2 i think i like better because it at least addresses the consequences of all the horrible shit and has a glimmer of hope and a “revenge cycles never end in blood, they just keep going, they have to end in reconciliation” sort of message, which is fairly basic but it’s something. 
Night of the Living Dead is a classic not because Ben gets brutally killed out of nowhere at the end. That’s the wrong message to take away from it. The WHY is the take-away. WHY was he shot? Because he was black. Because armed posses of survivalists going around capping zombies is, in fact, a stupid fucking idea. Because SOME people, as these works of fiction all prove, are chomping at the bit for an apocalypse so they can drop pretense and resort to baser instincts and start knocking off people they don’t get along with and go “fuck you, got mine”. Because the ones bragging about how well they’d survive the zombie apocalypse are the last people in the world to trust. Because the man that shot him didn’t care if he was a zombie or not, he knew he could get away with killing him and didn’t know him as a person, what the fuck does he care?
It’s the why. Why is this happening? What does this say about the world, and what can I do about it? A story whose thesis is that we’re all horrible and doomed and when society collapses we’ll all be different breeds of monster fucking and murdering and cannibalizing has nothing to offer me. I don’t care Like I said, emotional torture porn. It becomes almost laughable the way they just keep maiming and torturing and killing and expecting people to still care.
Kill List did with two blokes in a kitchen, a few minutes, and a hammer what none of the Saw or Hostel movies could do in terms of legitimately upsetting and disgusting me. Because it was grounded in reality, it was happening for a reason, and it wasn’t part of a just constant streaming barrage of gore. The tragedy in your work needs to be like that. Despair for despairs’ sake is the realm of teenagers and fools
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mrs-elijah-wood · 6 years ago
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Thanks to @jesterstrinket for tagging me! I’m tagging @oceanic-wasteland @featherfooted and whoever else wants to do it!!
Video Games ahoy!
Favorite game from the last five years:
Bloodborne, hands down. I bought it in 2016, I think, then couldn’t get past Father Gascoigne, so I put it down and didn’t play it again until spring of 2017. Oh boy am I glad I picked it up again. Bloodborne is one of my favorite games now, due in part to the combo of atmosphere, lore, and the challenge provided by the bosses. There���s not a single one that I don’t like (although shadow of yharnam could maybe creep into that list die forever shadow of yharnam). It’s the first game where I felt like i really earned the platinum trophy.
Most Nostalgic Game:
Probably Fallout New Vegas, with animal crossing wild world and the sims as close runners up. When it came out I remember watching my dad play it, and then the highlight of my sixth grade spring break was that he actually let me play it. When my little eleven year old self got scared at RepConn i played “forget you” by ceelo green on repeat.
Game That Deserves a Sequel:
Until Dawn!!! It was such a good game that I guess people didn’t play as much, but it’s one of the few straight up horror games my candy ass can play. Also Stardew Valley.
Game that deserves a remaster:
Ooh....fallout 3 and new vegas definitely. 
Favorite game series:
This one is really hard. I’ll give you my top six.
Fallout, Uncharted, Dark Souls, Borderlands, Dragon Age, and Mass Effect.
Favorite Genre:
RPGS BABEY
Least Favorite Genre:
Multiplayer Fighting Games
Favorite Song from a Game:
Probably Retrograde from Tales from the Borderlands for an actual song. But video game instrumentals are my SHIT. Here’s a couple of great songs from great games:
Ending Title from Metro 2033
Elizabeth’s Theme from Bioshock Infinite
Up the Spirit Cavern Walls from Ori and the Blind Forest
The entire uncharted soundtrack bc holy shit but specifically Reunion from Uncharted 2
Again the entire tlou, fallout, and skyrim soundtracks and so many more.
Favorite Character from a Game:
Um Ulysses from New Vegas of course do you even have to ask???
Favorite Ship from a Game:
Ulysses/Me also of course. Just kidding. This one is also hard...but I think I’m gonna have to go with Shepard and Garrus. 
Favorite Cutscene:
Basic but the intro/opening cutscene of New Vegas. Nothing more iconic than getting shot in the head.
Favorite Boss:
Gehrman, the First Hunter in bloodborne. Absolutely beautiful arena, music, and the fact that he’s fighting you to save you from his fate??? POETIC
First Console:
Either a gameboy or an original playstation...I don’t remember which one we had first.
Current Console(s):
PS4, Mac, and an old ass Xbox 360.
Console You Want:
Anything VR. Maybe Oculus Rift?
Place from a Game You’d Like to Visit:
ALL the places from uncharted, but mostly Libertalia from Uncharted 4. It was absolutely beautiful, apart from all the dead pirates. 
Place from a Game You’d Like to Live In:
PELICAN TOWN FROM STARDEW VALLEY 100%
Ridiculous Crossover that Would Never Happen:
Bloodborne Kart. Please from software.
Book that Would Make a Good Game:
Maybe The Canterbury Tales dating sim. jk jk jk. An Outlander video game would be lit as all get out.  
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