#and then they don't even really need to temper anyone bc they already have the faith of so many without having to manipulate them for it

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

anyway. wol concept i am trying to decide whether to make two different chars or one. also whether or not to put them in my light party

[roobylavender]

8, 9, 10, 16 🔥

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

(i've already said this but i can't think of anything else to say) i simply don't think anyone can read a large chunk of bat canon and come away from it thinking that bruce practices relationship celibacy out of some moral superiority about his work. he desperately craves love and often loses track of his priorities bc of it. relationship celibacy is merely a consequence of the fact that he constantly falls in love with women who are ultimately either too intimidated by the life or too independent to entertain settling down with him

9. worst part of canon

i genuinely think making bruce into a reactionary abuser had one of the worst domino effects on canon as a whole like you've already listened to me go into the details on this but can you imagine how everything might have gone differently if bruce as he existed in the early 80s was maintained.. we were effectively robbed of an entire universe of new ideas that had to suffer nonexistent secondary status bc entrapping the robins within the specter of bruce's abuse and their inability to be free of gotham was more important than exploring their own personal identities and scope

10. worst part of fanon

i'm cheating a bit on this bc it derives from canon as well but i honestly really hate the big brother / eldest daughter dick shtick personally.. i do like his rapport with tim during the knightfall era admittedly but writing that to be dick's primary role wrt the batfam as a whole so severely undercuts the life he tries to make for himself with the titans and i simply think it's nonsensical to vest him with responsibility (in the sense of this is my pseudo sibling and hence it's my job to look out for them) for people he doesn't know nor has any relationship to beyond providing a legacy suit or legend to look up to. like i get it found family is fun but is it really necessary? dick leaves that house well before anyone else even enters it. he curates an entire life for himself in another city. and i get that writers progressively bring dick back to create this tension between dick and bruce that highlights the latter's moral failings but i don't think it's really conducive to either of them growing long term. dick is stuck in the role of babysitter and held accountable to people he should realistically hold no accountability to bc they are not his children (not to mention this is done while peddling a heavily revisionist version of his personality where his stringency, short temper, and high expectations of others are subdued into an occasionally snarky demeanor) while bruce is forced to recognize his flaws by virtue of comparison rather than on his own as if he's not an adult with a brain who literally makes it a point to overanalyze everything about his life and that of others. he's more than aware of his failures as a parent and there's no need to set up a comparison with dick to explore the extent of those failures or bruce's inability to adequately address them. but also, on another completely remote point that has nothing to do with either character's growth, to me a dick who's physically distanced from the other robins and batgirls is way more interesting bc it adds to the haunting of the manor and of bruce as a person. dick is someone who should come off as this larger than life figure who managed to get everything right and stick around for ten years without so much as a blip (at least that's how it looks to them; obv we know there's more to the story) before he suddenly vanished from the landscape of gotham entirely. all of this is here bc dick was here first. yes he wants to escape and be someone else but there will never be anyone to surpass him like ever. even when he’s away from the manor for years on end the ghost of his presence will haunt the halls and will haunt bruce’s heart, and ofc bruce will never love anyone else less bc each love is different, but there is something about dick that is impenetrable, set in stone, eternal. and that should be felt whether he's out of the city or on the rare occasions he's in it. like he's dragging in ghosts no one but bruce has ever heard of but they still manage to set everyone on edge

16. you can’t understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc.)

idrg tim being gay personally. like i'm happy for him but it's not a reading that ever clicked to me and i honestly have no thoughts on his sexuality at all

🔥 choose violence ask game 🔥

[rotisseries]

elio is symbolized as like more of a object of desire. and something to taint/something oliver is afraid of tainting. like oliver obviously likes him (not at all obvious at first tbh) but there's this whole scene where elio's father is looking at some sculptures with oliver and oliver goes "these are all incredibly sensual." and elios father says black blah Hellenistic period, "muscles are firm. look at his stomach for example. not a straight body in these statues they're all curved. sometimes impossibly curved. and so nonchalant. hence their ageless ambiguity. as if they're daring you to desire them." and they had already kissed by then, but oliver kept pulling away because he's looking at this like it's bad (like i'm kinda neutral on the age gap it's not as big of a thing as it's made out to be. just larger implications lmao) and he says "and we've been good. we haven't done anything to be ashamed of. and that's a good thing. i wanna be good." it's like. elio is like his temptation. like it doesn't really seem that way overall but. BIG PICTURE... with all the fruit motif & talk of goodness and desire. well. he even tells elio "do you know how happy i am we slept together?" "i don't know" "of course you don't know...i don't want you to regret anything. and i hate the thought that maybe i may have messed you up or...i don't want either one of us to pay for this" like there's some sort of divine punishment coming his way. or that elio feels like bad now. and it's largely around being queer than the age gap is how i read it tbh. idk what period it is but they don't have mobile phones and they just have radios and landlines it seems.  and later oliver talks about how elio is lucky for his accepting parents. that his dad would have shipped him off to a camp. so elio saying "i'm -i'm not gonna tell anyone" was less a. i'm 17 and ur an adult than. we had gay sex last night. yk? it's just like the whole thing pushing and pulling it kills me bc i feel like elio was more. um. sexually involved yk as a teenager and oliver more genuinely liked him which is where i think people are like hmm. but. when ur a teenager. sometimes u show it through. sexuality. but like. that's the problem but it's not really a problem. i'm babbling rn. oh and the apricot scene. really been chewing it up in my brain. got nothing lmao. it's not like. it wasn't like super weird. teenagers are gonna shit like that but people are like :(( he threw a temper tantrum. bruh it was like a 2 minute scene and he cried for like 2 seconds and wiped his tears and apologized and it was just like. too much lmao bc he was sad that oliver was leaving like that's all. like he said i don't want you to leave or whatever. oliver was not making fun of him or anything elio was just like. embarrassed 😭. like ok u can call it immature but . idk. i wrote an essay damn.  yeah that's like my iffys. like it wasn't bad really i just have a brain and know that it wasn't exactly hm healthy. 

i feel like i missed stuff but. um. u can ask questions 😭? i could be reading it wrong. was not as bad as some ppl made it out to me. but like elio is distinctly a 17 yr old. i'm not saying the gap is good by any means the movie however wasn't Bad. this is fiction not real life blah blah i understand that fiction chan give me biases tho. i feel the need to disclaim that for some reason. i'm not an english professor im just some gay teen on the internet who watched this too late at night.

akajdjfks ok. I don't really have any questions but if you do have more to say feel free

[l0stfoster]

Casper gives me the chance to oc talk so I’m gonna get funny and throw my cards in too. The art is quick and shitty I had to make a reference for someone.

Technically I've got 3 ocs, the other two just haven't been drawn but to put it playing; Soc and Greaser, secret relationship bc they're gay and different social classes. They act like they hate each other but makeout behind the bleachers /silly I'll draw them in the future and elaborate FOR NOW THOUGH!! SAM!! Lots of shit below the cut, he's the equivalent of my self-insert.

- His full name is Sam Kaiser; their grandfather (dad's side) is German (and their mom's side is Polish) but he and his parents were born in America, so he's pretty disconnected from his heritage bc his parents don't care enough about it. He was 19 during '67 - He's got an 18-year-old brother and a 26-year-old sister. Her brother's been drafted to Vietnam (which he wanted, as he had always been interested in the military ) while his sister took off to New York for college and made it big. - Born in Tulsa, when Sam and their brother were 13 and 12 their parents had a messy divorce. His father took full custody of the kids because their mother wanted nothing to do with them. Their father's pretty shit and all he really does is just pay the house bills and buy himself food or booze, he ignores them unless he needs something or if they aren't listening to him. Their older sister was looked at once for custody consideration when their father got himself into a bit of trouble but turned that shit down fast. Sam still hasn't gotten over that, it was also the last time he'd heard from her. - He/She pronouns both because nobody can figure out what the hell he was born as besides his parents, but she also doesn't know that they/them is an option. Being transgender in the 60's was already looked at negatively; god knows any other kind of gender identity was NOT something they've probably even known about. - Deeply values their freedom and acts out against their father, because although he's pretty neglectful, he still tries to hold an iron fist over him. His piercings (and tattoos) are a part of the ways he chooses to rebel and separate himself. Still wears his dad's dog tags, despite that, because he still loves his father. - Greaser, their father works with the same roofing company as Darry does but on a different team. Sam does a lot of job hopping as he's disabled and can't keep a solid job. Very financially insecure. - Wanted to go to college but their scholarship wasn't enough and couldn't justify going. He wanted to be an astronaut :( You bet your ass this mf cried watching the moon landing in 1969

- I like to imagine Sam and Darry are on friendly terms since they've both had the experience of missing out on college and a chance to escape Tulsa; and Sam also thoroughly respects Darry for stepping up, since she knows how heartbreaking it is to have family refuse you like you're nothing. (I've shipped them before bc I'm cringe and free fuck you /silly) - He's not really part of any specific Greaser gang, he just sort of shows up sometimes and lingers before dipping again. Their brother was popular amongst both socs and greasers (he's just really charming) and Sam was, sort of jealous; but they liked their alone time. They only met the gang through school and other general mischief. Huge klepto, would go on stealing sprees with Two where Sam would distract and Two would take. - While his brother and father are smart with cars, he's very car-stupid. Gave Steve a heart attack because she pulled up with a VERY flat tire and insisted that it wasn't too bad (he should've crashed on the way there) - Got the nickname "Park" because he hates being home, so he'll usually end up at the park if he doesn't want to be around anyone. Usually, he'll either be there in silence or with a little journal. - Resting bitch face galore. He's not very confrontational but has a temper and gets into fights a lot because he runs his mouth and doesn't know when to shut up. He carries a switch his brother bought him but hasn't dared to bring it out in a fight yet. - Throws himself into crime and other shit of the sort as a way to break out of the expectations people have set for him. His sister successfully left Tulsa and made it big while his brother's in the military-- has the middle child stereotype and authority figures always expected him to follow after his siblings. - Sam hates drinking due to their father but has slowly begun taking it up as a way to cope with the social pressures and his own issues. Smokes as well, but tries to do that less due to valuing their lung capacity (He likes to run) - Just a little side fun fact. If he exists in Cursed au he'd either be a Harpy (likely an owl) or invisibility. Thought about shapeshifting but it'd be funny bc the mf only ever uses it for convenience, like getting taller to reach a shelf. - Also in Cursed he'd end up being friendly with Paul bc fuck you I love Paul and so Sam can too /silly

Sorry if any of this is all over the place my brain is fried rn.

Starting a reblog game: RB w/ your own outsiders OC!

if enough folks do, I’ll draw them together or something lol, it’ll be fun!

So these are blatant self inserts for my sister and me

(Info & backstories under the cut because I’ve put waaaay too much thought into this)

and again, pls do reblog/tag me w/ your own Outsiders original/self insert characters! (Drawings and/or written descriptions!) Making OCs was one of my favorite things to do as a kid, so I figured it’d be fun to bring it back here lol

(And to reiterate- if enough of ya’ll do this I’ll draw ‘em all together like a greaser-sona gang! So don’t be shy ok??)

-got sent to Tulsa from Seattle in 1961 at ages 13 and 11 to live with their mildly neglectful uncle, due to their mother getting cancer and being unable to properly care for them. Their father was lost at sea when they were little, so they had no one else to go to.

-in Tulsa they go by their mother’s surname, Biondi, instead of their father’s, because interracial marriage isn’t legalized in Oklahoma until ‘67. They try to pass as just Italian. This works better for Naomi, who takes more after their mother than their father in looks.

-Naomi is good friends w/ Ponyboy- she relates to him a lot, from the dislike of fighting to the love for sunsets (legit Ponyboy reminds me of my sister so much irl) (She’s also low-key got a crush on him and Sodapop which is pretty funny)

-Jesse is closer to Two-Bit, Dally, Steve, and Soda. And he really likes fights. They’re exciting and make him feel tough. When he stops to think about it it does make him a little uneasy how much he’s grown to like them, but usually he just ignores that

-Naomi disapproves of crime. Jesse used to oppose it too, but the more time he spends without good role models and parental figures, the more his morels loosen. Tries hard to be a good example for Naomi though

-Jesse met the gang through Sodapop originally- they were thirteen and some Socs were jumping Soda, and Jesse jumped in and helped him out. Soda explained to him what the deal with Socs and greasers is, because there’s no greasers up North

-Naomi met the gang separately through being classmates with Ponyboy. They were working together on a school project, one with him writing and her drawing

-So Jess and Naomi spent a solid few months hanging out with different members of the same gang, completely unaware they had the same group. They eventually end up running into each other at the Curtis house, and both are totally shocked. Two-Bit, who knew the whole time, nearly died laughing

-Naomi is friends with both Socs and greasers, because she isn’t really either- she’s financially a greaser, but she has a crazy high GPA for someone who has ADHD and dyslexia in the 60s, and besides that, she just doesn’t like what she sees as pointless rivalry

-Jess loves pointless rivalry. At least until people start getting hurt. Then he starts to get angry.

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

s2ep15 zombizou

*looks into the camera like i'm on the office after the episode ends*

this was a lot, i don't even know where to start and how to formulate my thoughts.

i think i'll start with ms. bustier tho. i think i understand the intent behind her character--are at least the montage of what her character is supposed to demonstrate--but i think they really beefed the landing there. like it's all well and good to think positive thoughts and be kind to your fellow man or whatever, but if the other person is absolutely unwilling to actually try to be kind, i don't think you need to go out of your way to be nice to them.

setting a good example only goes so far. and for some, it won't be enough. they need to understand in a meaningful way how their actions and words may hurt others. and giving them brownie points for sometimes doing the right thing or owning up to their mistakes won't change them. esp if they go back to being mean all the time to others.

and i think the way chloe's character is written is just confused. she does constant heel-face turns, and because this show episodic, she never grows out of it or learns anything from it. she learns nothing from despair bear and she's learned nothing here. you can't expect me to take this character apologizing twice only for her to go back to being just as mean and racist as she was before.

back to bustier tho, i think it's the wrong message to give to people that "she let herself get overtaken by negative emotions" and also for ladybug to correct her and tell it's all hawkmoth's fault. like no! sometimes we do just act like assholes when we're in a bad mood! there's not necessarily wrong with that insofar that's a pretty normal experience to have. obviously we have to learn to temper it and not take it out on others, and we won't always succeed, but that's just fucking life. you apologize and try to do better. and the ppl who love you will give you grace.

as i mentioned before, i think this show could've done something really great with the whole set-up of how akumas take over and work. bc again, showing kids that anyone, at any point, can feel very strong negative emotions. and bc of that, they may act very mean toward others. that doesn't mean they're right to do it, but that also doesn't mean they were wrong for feeling that way. again, insofar as it's a very human and normal experience to feel strong negative emotions. and as long as you have a coping technique that doesn't rely on taking it out on others, it's okay to process and work through those feelings. it's okay to feel that, even if you know it's irrational. bc that's just what feelings are! they're irrational!! it's lizard brain!

i don't know what else i can say about chloe that i haven't already said. but i will say that i fundamentally disagree that bustier didn't punish chloe in some way for defacing a classmate's property. teaching her it's okay to do that will get her into trouble later on in life. that's just not an okay thing to do to anyone's personal property.

additionally, i really hated that people kept saving chloe. that they were forced by the writers to "set a good example" when it's going to do nothing to actually change chloe or her behavior. she's never going to introspect and she's always going to be mean. there's no point and their sacrifices mean nothing. she literally insults kim and rose as they're trying to help her. her sacrifice to save ladybug from chat noir is hollow.

speaking of, yet another instance of chat noir getting brainwashed to help hawkmoth. at least his cataclysm was useful this time, i guess.

i also really wish they had actually done something with everyone talking about how much they believed in and trusted ladybug to save them. this could've been really good narratively, as far as building her up only for her to fail in some way.

this would've been a really good episode where she fails and then has a moment of introspection and gets a new yo-yo and some new powers to defeat this akuma (or new villain if they hadn't been cowards and actually thought past hakmoth).

but no, she saves the day. like always. without the help of chat noir bc he's like half-lamp at this point.

but anyway, the injustice of what happened to marinette and then the narrative forcing her into a weird lesson about "setting a good example" will always piss me off. the whole thing is unfair. and chloe still gets a miraculous for it.

can't believe they really left bustier and chloe on the very top of the effiel tower. do they even know how to get down from there? tho at least chloe couldn't cause harm up there i guess.

[allbeendonebefore]

Omg thanks so much, I’m so happy i sent that ask bc it’s already helping me and giving me ideas to flesh out this fic better. i need to stop being so shy ><

and i agree with everything you’ve said. i also tend to feel like matt leans on oliver a lot which leads to ollie taking the fall and brunt of most things + taking on more than he should, since he knows ollie will pick up his slack.

but i would absolutely love to hear more if you can, please. i find ollie’s and ralph’s relationship really intriguing + i love when they can just. chill and be friends and worry about shit later

oh you bet, thanks for asking! it's stuff i like to think about and its nice to talk to someone about it (and normally i don't bite, save for when I lose sleep/am travelling and am feeling paranoid about strangers asking for personal info, sorry anon from last week! but dms also are ok for things like that because then i feel more like im having a conversation and less like im performing for an invisible audience)

and yeah ol hits close to home for me so when i'm not drawing him Silly or using him as a strawman which is most of the time (sorry), he tends to be a reflection of my own anxieties about being Professional and being Forced into the Leadership Role but Also Not Delegating it because he Doesn't Trust Anyone Else etc etc, and he tends to also be a projection of the anxieties of simultaneously defining what being Canadian is and having to embody that while also realizing that its kind of milquetoast or built on sand and arbitrary and completely made up and Not the universal unifying magic bullet it is supposed to be but what the fuck else is he supposed to do, which is a theme that i have been mulling over.... well, since i was like, nine and left the country.

likewise bert hits close to home for me because..... home, so when i write him its usually expressing a frustration at the way things are/have been, and kind of satirizing the State of Things. It is difficult for me to not make him a complete wreck and I tend to focus on his toxic sides because it's Very Personal for me, but I don't want my vent comics to be like, the only version of him out there either? it's also hard for me because i feel like simultaneously i am the person who is the first to point out his faults and flaws because i can't escape them, but i'm also the person who is trying to love him unironically without shame through gritted teeth, hahaha...

so i mean even if everything i say rings true or doesn't, it's not the be all end all of their characterization, what i say is just more filtered through Me and My Experiences and I fully acknowledge that and you're also welcome to take things in another direction. lord knows i am in my own very specific rut right now that contributes to a lot of blocks i have. [and my authority on Albertanness has to be tempered with other Albertans, remember that time all the albertans got angry at me for the song i used on the i am alberta video LOL]

i don't have anything specific to say at the moment on this and i am putting off a lot of things i should be doing but uh, check back, i am thinking about it and i'm happy to help / offer suggestions / test hypotheses. :)

[jiangwanyin]

slamming doors is so therapeutic why on earth did i ever start repressing my anger

[chuuyrr]

really curious about this, so is it okay to request how the ada will take care of baby scarlet witch reader throwing a tantrum, just crying in a fit and refusing to listen to anyone? LMAO then they run into the port mafia and they're so desperate to get her to calm down that they ask them for help but still didn't work... then to everybody's surprise, akutagawa volunteered to try and BABY SCARLET WITCH READER STOPS CRYING?!?!?!

i just headcannon that akutagawa knows how to deal with children's temper tantrums bcs gin used to do it when they were really little (until she stopped bcs she eventually finds out they already have it tough at the slums)

i know tanizaki also has a younger sister so he SHOULD know how to also deal with tantrums but i dont really think naomi ever threw one😃 she'd be too obedient to him YKWIM???😭

also, this request is just an excuse to see the ada and port mafia act like parents trying to pacify a toddler AHAHAHHAHSWSHWWHS

scarlet witch! baby fushiguro! reader throws a trantrum while being in bungo stray dog's world

jujutsu kaisen x reader x bungou stray dogs

masterlist of the series

╰➤ CW(s): fluff/comfort, crack-ish/ooc (kind of like bsd wan)

╰➤ PAIRING(s): platonic! bungou stray dogs x child! reader

before you read: hi, in case you're new, you're megumi's younger half-sibling, and while you don't have cursed energy, you do have scarlet witch's powers and abilities! aside from that, as a special scarlet witch variant, you also have the ability to travel across the multiverse. how chaotic! furthermore, like your half-brother megumi, you are being cared for by gojo satoru, who also serves as your adoptive father. for more info, please see the masterlist.

the armed detective agency had no idea what had gotten into you. you were a bubbly, always smiling, and well-behaved child in general, but this one time you were with them, you had a tantrum, and it wasn't just a tantrum—you were crying your eyes out and nothing was working. you were being difficult by refusing to listen to anyone or anything.

"oi, dazai! do something! [name] had been crying all day while you were away!" kunikida exclaimed in a panic, nearly strangling the newly arrived messy haired brunet who had been on a mission as he grabbed him by the collar and pointed to your tiny sobbing figure, "you're her dazai-nii, aren't you?"

"oh, my goodness! [name]-chan!" dazai's eyes widened as he scurried towards you with open arms, "now, now, my sweet little belladonna! come to dazai-nii, yeah? i'm here now, no need for tears." he approached you while cooing, which usually stops your tears in an instant.

"no! no! no!" you cried out, swatting dazai away as you proceeded to cry harder, "go away!"

when his usual approach didn't work this time, dazai literally froze on the spot, his face betrayed and mortified. he takes a deep breath in, his eyes widening. his ego shattered.

"BELLADONNA?!" dazai gasped sharply as his knees buckled to the floor in betrayal as he clutched his chest in pain. it always works.

atsushi held his head in stress as he repeatedly glanced at dazai and you, "EHH?! BUT HOW?!"

"i think we should try a different approach." junichiro suggested, sweatdropping.

"um, i know! look at what i have, [name]!" yosano exclaimed at you, drawing everyone's attention to her as she pulled out a scalpel and waved it in the air, "it's a scalpel. it's a sharp instrument used for surgery and cutting!"

"with all due respect, yosano-sensei, i don't think you should be saying that to a child!" kunikida pointed out, to which the others vigorously nodded in agreement as you cried even harder at the sight of her scalpel, "she's like six or seven!"

"i know! i know!" ranpo exclaimed, raising his hands in the air. everyone watched as he grabbed a bunch of snacks and walked towards you, and to everyone's surprise, he offered you his snacks, something he doesn't usually do.

"RANPO-SAN IS SHARING HIS SNACKS?!" atsushi pointed out the obvious, eyes widening.

"now, now, [name]-chan. here, you can have any snack you want," ranpo said softly, waving the snacks he had for you to choose from. "i even have candy and chocolate here," he added.

you shook your head as you declined, causing ranpo to open his eyes wide, mouth agape in shock. ranpo, like dazai, appeared completely defeated.

kyouka motioned over to atsushi, who nodded his head repeatedly, "we'll buy you crepes and boiled tofu."

"i'll tell you all about cows, [name]-chan!" Kenji suggested next, smiling, but you just kept crying.

"we'll get the president," naomi said as she hurried outside the office with kirako, as everyone else panicked.

"tanizaki-kun, please do something! what do you do when naomi throws a tantrum when she was younger?" atsushi asked, turning to face junichiro.

"about that.. naomi never threw any tantrums as a kid..." junichiro scratched the nape of his neck.

"of course naomi wouldn't," atsushi slapped his face, knowing how obedient she was to her beloved brother.

"[name]-chan, you loooove your dazai-nii!" dazai tried again, reaching out to you, but you kept swatting his hands away as he struggled to pick you up in his arms and cradle you, "pleaseee stop crying! it's okay! everything will be fine!"

"kunikida-kun! how about you do something?! read [name]-chan one of your ideals!" dazai sighed deeply at kunikida, who stiffened before rummaging through his book, "surely you must have something for tantrums! anything!"

"i-i.. don't.." kunikida fumbled his words as he paled and pushed his glasses, "i don't have anything that can stop a child's tantrum.."

eventually, naomi and kirako returned with the armed detective agency's boss, fukuzawa yukichi. as soon as he walked into the office, he found a struggling and desperate dazai cradling you, a very stressed out kunikida, a very sad ranpo who's eating the snacks you refused, kenji who's still trying his best to cheer you up with information about cows, atsushi who's waving a balloon and kyouka with a crepe, and finally a yosano who's waving her butterfly clip.

"boss!" "president!"

everyone cried out in desperation to fukuzawa, sprinting up to him in an instant with you.

fukuzawa sighed deeply before turning towards you who was still crying and swatting dazai away, "oh, my." shaking his head, he trotted towards you and outstretched his hands to grab and carry you in his arms instead of dazai.

everyone held their breath as you paused for a brief moment, sniffling and looking into fukuzawa's eyes with a tearful puffy gaze as he gently wiped at your face.

his lips graced into a smile, thinking you had finally calmed down with the others, but then you burst out crying again, this time releasing a pulsivating red energy from your hands. your emotions were amplifying your chaos magic.

"even the president didn't work?!" atsushi exclaimed, gulping as fukuzawa lost his cool and struggled like them, cradling you and patting your back in an attempt to calm you down.

fukuzawa exhaled sharply as he handed you back to dazai, having lost all hope. he gave you and everyone a long sigh before clearing his throat. they had no other options, and they were running out of time. it was only a matter of time before your chaos magic went haywire as a result of your tantrum, and they couldn't stand seeing you like this, a crying mess.

"get the car. we're going to port mafia's headquarters, now and fast." fukuzawa said, drawing gasps, surprised looks, and small screams from everyone in the office.

mori was holding a meeting with his executives back at the port mafia when one of his subordinates barges in and tells them all in a frantic that the armed detective agency is right outside.

as the armed detective agency bursted inside, all of the port mafia members were lined up, ready for the worst case scenario, but before shit went down for both organizations, your crying caught their attention.

"isn't that the kid with the witch ability?" tachihara pointed out, his eyes widening at you.

"chibi?" chuuya blinked, his hard gaze softening as he saw your tiny figure, crying and squirming in dazai's grip as he tried to quiet you by cradling you in his arms.

"fukuzawa-dono, would you mind explaining what is the meaning of this?" mori sighed deeply, looking and motioning over at you and the armed detective agency members.

"our kid won't stop crying," fukuzawa sighed softly, avoiding eye contact with the port mafia boss for a split second, "and we know for a fact that [name] is close to one of your executives. we need your help in calming her down."

"tch, stupid armed detective agency motherfuckers. if you ask me, i'd say chibi had finally gotten sick with all of you," chuuya scoffed for a second before smirking and trotting towards you to take you away from dazai. "come on, kiddo," chuuya said as he took you away from dazai, who was staring at him.

"no!" you clenched your tiny fists, squirming as you threw weak punches onto chuuya's back while he held you in his arms, "no! no! no!"

it wasn't just the armed detective agency that was sweating with that. the port mafia was sweating as well. chuuya didn't work either.

"see, even [name]-chan doesn't like you!" dazai exclaimed happily, a smug look on his face indicating that he wasn't the only one you were like this to, "you were saying, nakahara chuuya-kun?"

"shut up, you vagabond! it's not like she stopped crying because of you and your stupid comrades either!" chuuya retorted, a nerve protruding from his temple as he pointed at dazai and held you with his free arm.

mori pinched the bridge of his known before glancing down at elise, "elise, be a dear and help chuuya-kun calm [name]-chan down."

"nope," was all elise said with a smile and two hands on her hip, causing mori to sweat drop.

"anyone?" mori sighed deeply in defeat and then glanced at his other subordinates, specifically hirotsu, gin, tachihara, koyou, higuchi, motojiro, and akutagawa.

"s-sorry boss, but i'm not so good with kids!" higuchi immediately dipped her head in a bow.

hirotsu's response followed next, "me neither."

someone had easily beaten them to it before koyou could raise her hand and volunteer alongside motojiro.

"i can."

all eyes were drawn to the one and only port mafia's black-fanged hellhound, akutagawa. everyone had stopped panicking about your crying and were staring at him with wide eyes. when the pale raven haired boy began to make his way towards you, atsushi appeared to have stopped breathing.

"what the hell? do you even know how to handle children, akutagawa?!" atsushi remarked, but was quickly silenced by a hard glare from him.

everyone looked expectantly at akutagawa, with fukuzawa looking a little nervous when he extended his arms towards you. chuuya swallowed hard for a brief moment before passing you to akutagawa, who embraced you. when you looked at him with puffy red eyes, you were still crying. akutagawa sighed, closed his eyes, and activated his rashomon.

the armed detective agency stiffened and drew their weapons, with the exception of dazai, who was simply staring, but were stopped when mori raised his hand as a sign to stop them from intervening as he stared at akutagawa.

to everyone's surprise, his rashomon had morphed into a less terrifying monstrosity. you lifted your gaze to a shadowy beast, which morphed into shadowy cats and bunnies instead. akutagawa cleared his throat before opening his eyes, watching you as you gazed at the animals he had fashioned from rashomon with interest, and unexpectedly, you had stopped crying and squirming in his hold.

"[name]-chan stopped crying.." ranpo's eyes opened once again as pointed out the obvious.

"a-amazing, senpai!" higuchi gasped in astonishment, "she really did stop!"

"see? you guys got nothing on my boy, akutagawa!" chuckled chuuya, folding his arms across his chest.

"that's impossible! h-how?" atsushi inquired, blinking profusely as he observed you staring at akutagawa with tearful red eyes that were no longer crying, distracted by the animals he created using rashomon, even going so far as akutagawa allowing you to touch and pet them.

"back in the day, my sister used to have tantrums like the brat," akutagawa explained, clearing his throat with a small cough as he drew you closer to his chest.

everyone's gaze was drawn to gin, who immediately turned away in embarrassment, a blush visible behind the mask that shielded the lower half of her face.

your chaos magic had tapped into the memory that akutagawa was referring to as you continued to pet and ground yourself with akutagawa's rashomon.

a small scene of a young akutagawa was played out in front of your eyes. he was with gin, who was roughly your age. gin was throwing a fit and crying her heart out the same way you did. he, too, used rashomon to create shadow-like animals, the same ability that had slaughtered and shed blood in the past. your heart broke a little when you realized that both of them used to live in the slums and how difficult it was for them just to have each other and no one else.

you couldn't help but see megumi in akutagawa. both of them had a tough and quiet exterior, but their hearts were the same on the inside, at least that's how you see and feel about it.

after witnessing the memory, you snuggled against akutagawa. you wrapped your tiny arms around his neck as you muffled your face onto his shoulder, which he sighed deeply at but then proceeded to comfort you by rubbing shapes on your back as he carried you.

"good job, akutagawa," mori exclaimed with a closed-eye smile, acknowledging his subordinate's efforts before turning to face fukuzawa and the rest of the armed detective agency, "but, it looks like you owe port mafia this time."

"a very good job indeed, akutagawa," dazai shook his head, softly chuckling as he ran his fingers through his hair, relieved to see you calm while atsushi and the others were still reeling from the shock of akutagawa's ability to stop you crying almost effortlessly.

akutagawa's eyes widened for a split second at his ex mentor's praise before he nodded and turned away, patting and rubbing shapes on your back with a small smirk on his lips as he gazed upon atsushi, "it was nothing."

[ author's notes ! hello anon, thanks for requesting! this was so much fun to write ngl hahaha sorry i haven’t been able to write anything lately. hope this makes up for my inactivity! it's also our semestral break so expect updates in a week! ]

[hungerpunch]

as the resident VB connoisseur I would love to know your opinion on his dynamic with Guanyu. I see a lot of hero worship, soft dom/sub potential there. In general its nice to see someone so openly in awe of valtteri

anon plsss i read this and put it in my mental soup pot to stew for several hours, considering it. i really like guanyu and, you're right, he's been so openly complimentary of valtteri. from the outside looking in, it looks like vb is doing a good job of balancing the fact that they are innately competitors with being a mentor. it seems to me that while socializing on the grid is not necessarily a priority for valtteri, it is important to him to actively help cultivate a positive environment for guanyu. i respect that bc i feel similarly in my daily life: my circle is small, but it's small so that i can put all my energy into tending it very well. i can't imagine how nervous/scared guanyu was entering the f1 arena for the first time, i can only imagine how scared i would be, and separately and apart from my love & appreciation of vb, i'm extremely grateful that his new team and teammate have been welcoming. i hope that despite all the DNFs and inconsistency w/ alfa romeo's cars, he'll be able to look back and say that his rookie year was a good experience.

sorry i'm getting away from the point.

i think their dynamic deserves much inspection bc it is so multi-layered. on the surface, they seem to fit well bc they are both relatively calm, even-tempered, respectful, and focused on their jobs. but underneath that we know that they are really goofy, as evidenced by their respective social media, and i think they probably understand each other's sense of humor. we know they each have interests besides racing that they are passionate about and though those interests are different, differences tend to serve as complements in a healthy relationship.

one moment that has stuck with me since seeing it was during the pitstop podcast when guanyu admitted he's already thought about where he would take valtteri to eat if they visited shanghai. like he's already daydreamed about showing vb around his city ;_; bc he likes vb and wants to spend time n share experiences with him. that's so cute bro.

taking their dynamic into a dom/sub space is a new consideration for me! i'll put it under a cut

i think when i start considering relationships from a bdsm perspective, i generally find that i take a kernel of something to serve as the core. if i were gonna do that with these two, it would be this:

the fact that guanyu posted this on both twitter & weibo, and captioned it differently on weibo in his first language... don't even talk to me. he's not ready to be vulnerable where vb could see and understand it but he's gotta speak his truth somehow!!! haven't we all been there with a crush? extremely relatable, babe.

and maybe that's the heart of it! guanyu didn't know what to expect, meeting valtteri, besides perhaps professional courtesy. he didn't expect to be seen, considered, and treated so equally! he didn't expect valtteri to notice how nervous he was before his first f1 race and to take time out to calm him down. and we all know that the recipe for imprinting on someone is to: a) be removed of your usual comforts and support b) experience a high intensity of pressure c) that someone shows you an unexpected kindness when you really need it. i feel like we've all been there, about to break down in tears because a random stranger was nice to us on a bad day. you really feel that shit hit, right? like idk you but i'm more grateful for you than anyone else in this world right now.

and that was just their beginning. now, valtteri's been a lighthouse in the storm for many many months. a calming touch point after frantic races, poor results. always there with a word of comfort, to pump him back up after he's been deflated, always a big hand on his shoulder or patting his back. the first time guanyu curls in and turns the gesture into a hug instead, he's sort of shocked at himself, but even more shocked at how valtteri reciprocates the hug without hesitation.

guanyu feels like he'll remember that first hug for the rest of his life. wants it all the time, the feeling of valtteri's chest against his, wrapped in his arms. on bad days, dreams about it ending with a forehead kiss. on worse days, hamstrung by homesickness and the pressure of his first year, dreams about it ending with a mouth kiss. it's not an instant physical attraction, but a gradual one, where one day guanyu realizes he's staring at the patch of grey whiskers in valtteri's beard while he talks and identifies that the itch he feels is the urge to touch it. he feels guilty and embarrassed by that, tries not to think about it too much, but it's undeniably baked into his brain. how he thinks of valtteri as a guiding hand, a steady presence, a calming voice of reason. qualities that he wants to consume, that he wants to embody, that he wants to be submerged in.

and i think of valtteri as such a competent, focused soft dom. he sees guanyu responding to his advice, engaging with his questions, turning shy at valtteri's praise. he knows, he's familiar with the type of person who has all the makings of greatness but is still too young to realize their own power, too young to feel much besides lost. and feeling lost is never nice. valtteri knows. he wants to make him feel better.

idk where i'm ultimately going with this but i think the image i'm conjuring in my mind is of a late night, after a race that yielded mediocre results, they've met up for a drink. in a dark bar. guanyu has expressed frustration, insecurity. the bar is emptying out. it's late. the bartender abandons his post to fetch more stock from the backroom and so, free of watchful eyes, valtteri dares to reach out, card his fingers through guanyu's silky-soft hair. "you're doing good," he says, lowly. guanyu sort of froze at the touch, and now his eyes drop from valtteri's. "i'm serious," valtteri continues. "you're doing a great job. everyone can see it."

and guanyu swallows hard, tries to fight his blush. because valtteri has said so little, but it means so much, and the truth is that he would follow that reassuring voice anywhere. especially to a bedroom.

[kyovtani]

𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 – 𝐤𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐢 𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮 (𝟐)

— pairing: Kyoutani Kentarou x female Reader

— genre: smut, angst, little bit of fluff to keep the balance; tattoo artist!kyoutani, inexperienced!reader, strangers to lovers!AU, SLOW BURN

— word count: 9.6k

— warnings: swearing, mentions of infidelity and violence, as well as the consumption of drugs and alcohol; smut: corruption kink, degradation and dumbification, dacryphilia, praising, spitting, (soft) dom!kyou, oral (m. receiving), fingering, dry humping, unprotected sex (dont do that kids), impreg kink, iwaoi say hi-

— (A/N: and here’s part two! thank you SO much for all the love you sent my way after i published the first part. ngl i was a little nervous bc i thought it was boring and not interesting at all but you guys easily pushed me out of that hole so thank you for everything. i love and appreciate you with my whole heart. all the love, zade xx)

[ part one ]

— summary: after fucking up, you make it your mission to get him back..(im so bad at this pls just- okay.)

"He's not picking up, Hana", you say, another soft cry falling from your lips before you bury your face in your pillow.

“Once in my fucking life a guy treats me good and the way I've always wanted to be treated and I had to fuck it up. Why the fuck am I like this, Hana? Why can I not enjoy one fucking good thing in my fucking mediocre life", the profanities keep coming just like the tears and the amount of frustration and anger rushing through your veins is nowhere near normal anymore.

"Calm down, love", Hana sighs and makes you sit up so she can look into your tear stained face as she tries her best to make sure her words actually find their way to your pain clouded mind, "at this point you shouldn't worry too much because you do know Kyoutani, don't you? He does lose his temper a lot, so give him the time he needs and then you'll show up at his doorstep, suck his cock and make up with him, yeah?", she explains calmly.

"If this hurts you so much, why the fuck did you even say he's just a friend, Y/N? I really don't understand", Hana mumbles and lets out another sigh, her hands caressing yours softly, managing to calm you down a little bit.

“You're right, I should just– give him some time and things will eventually fall into place", you reply after crying a little more and with an encouraging smile your best friend nods at you before she suggests a movie marathon to which you happily agree.

At least something to distract you from all the demons inside your head.

After changing into your pj's and doing your night time routine, you plop down onto the couch next to your bestie again, her eyes focused on the phone in her hand and knowing she's probably either sexting or inviting her new boyfriend has you shrugging at her lack of attention as you start looking for a good movie to begin the night with.

However, just when you're about to read the description of some kind of french rom-com, Hana puts her phone back into her lap and starts staring at you with her pretty eyes widened in shock.

"What's wrong?", you ask and turn to look at her, reaching for her hands but before you even get the chance to touch her, Hana unlocks her phone and holds it up for you to watch someone's instagram story.

The video begins with loud music, a crowd full of young college students whose faces definitely are familiar.

Everyone in the video is dancing, making out, smoking and just chatting in a random living room and every now and then there's someone yelling in the back – a typical college party.

However, just as the video is about to end, the camera shifts to a tall male leaning against the wall, obviously standing really close to the person who's filming and it takes you a full blown thirty seconds to realize who said male is.

Kyoutani Kentarou.

You stare at the phone for another minute, your throat dry and your head empty as a thick veil of tears slowly starts blurring your sight before you finally decide to pay attention to the username.

"He can't be fucking serious", you hiss, fisting the blanket beneath you, the urge to punch something or someone becoming unbearable, "what the fuck is he doing at a random college party with – Sora?"

"Y/N, don't–", "Whose party is that?", you interrupt your best friend, not giving a single fuck about her attempts to calm you down; not anymore. Hana gulps harshly and strictly avoids your gaze as she mumbles a name and you roll your eyes, asking her to speak up with an annoyed sigh.

"It's one of Yuuji’s frat parties", and as soon as your best friend says the name of your ex-boyfriend, a cold shiver of disgust runs down your spine and you can feel yourself getting lightheaded from all the emotions rushing through your overwhelmed body.

"Don't follow me if you're going to stop me from leaving, Hana", you say and stand up before quickly disappearing inside your room.

You have no idea how you manage to get dressed, your outfit consisting of a pair of jeans and a hoodie you can't even remember buying and you don't even wanna think about what your hair and face look like when you end up leaving the house with your keys and your phone.

After driving this route for over two years on an almost daily basis, it takes you less than ten minutes to arrive in front of the huge house your ex-boyfriend lives in.

The memories start finding their way back into your head way too fast, taking away your breath and numbing your whole body because even if you didn’t love Yuuji anymore, the bitter feeling of betrayal still manages to hit you in just the right way.

It takes you a lot of willpower to actually approach the house and eventually get in. And after being in between the crowds of drunk, stinky college students, you remember why you hate college parties so much.

"I – Wow”, a familiar voice manages to break through the loud music, your instant reaction just an annoyed eye roll, “you were the last person I expected to see at one of our frat parties", Yuuji says and comes to stand in front of you.

His blonde hair messily falling into his handsome face and from the way his whole face seems to be covered in the deepest shade of red – including his eyes – you know that he's probably higher than the stars and you can't help but sigh.

"I'm not here to party, Yuuji", you hiss, feeling the anger crawl up your spine again the longer you look at your ex, "my boyfriend is here and I have to talk to him."

"So you and that tattooed guy are actually a thing? Didn't think so since he, you know – showed up with another girl", Terushima mumbles and pulls out a cigarette from his pocket, a mischievous smile on his lips.

"Oh, shut the fuck up, Yuuji", you spit back and roll your eyes, taking in the way the pretty boy arches his brows up in pure shock at your rather new attitude, "go and get high or whatever you do to feel proud of yourself", are the last words you say to him before you walk away, your heart thrumming inside your throat.

Your eyes roam the huge crowd, desperately searching for the only face you wanna look at right now and you try to remember where they were standing in the video Sora had posted only to realize that you can't remember.

After all you only watched the video once, your whole attention laying on Kyoutani. And after almost fifteen minutes, you find yourself slowly giving up.

Maybe this was just not meant to happen or maybe Kyoutani has left already.

He probably left with Sora- something you can’t and won’t ever blame him for.

After all she's literally one of the prettiest and hottest girls you have ever seen – anyone who rejects her would be out of their mind (or not attracted to girls which isn't the case when it comes to Kyoutani).

You give it another ten minutes of desperately looking around before you let out a deep sigh which gets lost in the loudness and thick air of the party before you finally start making your way back to the front door.

You quickly walk back to your car, trying your best to ignore everyone around you, especially all the drunk guys who are currently about to get into a verbal fight over something totally random and the last thing you want to experience those threats becoming reality.

At some point you're scared they might even include you which is probably why you end up literally sprinting and even though you always park so far away from frat houses just because you've heard way too many stories of people getting their cars stolen during parties, but right now you just wished you would have listened to your gut feeling and parked in front of the fraternity like every normal person.

However, to your life long luck, you spot a tall figure standing a little too close to your vehicle just as you’re about to unlock it. You slow down your movements almost instantly upon seeing the stranger, yet your eyes still try to figure out if it's someone you know despite the darkness surrounding the two of you.

He has probably spotted you by now, after all you're still panting like crazy from speed walking down to where your car is and it takes you a full minute to realize how loud you're actually being.

"Y/N", the male suddenly says, his deep voice sending shivers down your spine and even though it could have been everyone, it sounds a tad bit too familiar to your ears which is probably why you end up approaching him slowly.

"It's me, Kyoutani", he adds and at the same moment the words leave his lips, you finally recognize his pretty features which seem extra beautiful underneath the bright moonlight.

And then realization hits you.

"How did you know–", "Hana called me and asked if I could make sure you got home even if I didn't want to talk to you. So, here I am. Get in the car so I can tell her I did my part of the job", he interrupts you quickly, obviously not having the intention to interact with you and the way his usually so tender-filled eyes and calming voice are nothing but ice-cold has a thick veil of tears blurring your sight.

Never ever did you think about the moment, where Kyoutani puts the cold mask on he loved to hide behind when he had first looked at you all those weeks ago.

And the longer he avoids your gaze, the heavier the burden on your chest becomes.

"I'm sorry, Tani", you whisper, your voice breaking at the end, easily giving away how much his cold demeanor has gotten to you.

“Of course you're not just a friend to me and I d-don't know why I introduced you like that, everything happened so quickly and I – panicked. It's not an excuse and does not justify my behavior but I just wanted you to know that you've always been more than just a friend to me", you continue, managing to keep talking upon realizing that Kyoutani won't interrupt you and the way he even listens to you with his eyes looking everywhere but yours is absolutely enough for you.

"What am I to you then, Y/N? Am I the guy you're casually fucking? Your booty call? Am I your second choice? Like what the fuck do you expect me to say? I know we never put a label to – this", he starts pointing at you and then himself, "but you knew I was serious about it, about you. So, I just don't understand why you would even think about considering me a friend. I told you that I am not one for that friends with benefits kinda shit and you agreed yet you did this and now I can't help but be convinced you just used me to get that Yuuji fucker.”

Kyoutani is angry and he doesn't even try to hide it as he spits out those words, the ones he’s probably been dying to say out loud for the past few days and you know he has every right to actually be mad at you, his words still hit you in a way you didn't expect them to.

"I'd never do that to you, Kentarou; I'd never use you like that, please believe me", you say quickly, a little surprised you're even able to form proper sentences.

“You m-mean so much to me and I just don't know how to put it into words. My heart hurt so much when I watched you type your number into Sora's phone but the demons in my head, they just kept talking over my heart and – I'm just really sorry, Kyou, I really am", you sigh and after realizing that he's not going to look at you, you finally manage to shift your gaze away from his pretty face.

"Go home, Y/N. It's been a long day for both of us and I think some more distance will help me get my mind straight", Kyoutani replies after a long, torturous beat of silence lingering in the cold air and even if it wasn’t the reply you had hoped to hear, you're glad he's at least not completely ending it.

"Okay b-but at least let me drive you home?", you ask softly, wiping away the few tears which had managed to escape and when you look up at the beautiful faced male in front of you, his eyes meet you for the first time since what feels like forever and you feel yourself melting away.

"I don't think that's a good idea, pretty girl", Kyoutani sighs, the soft pet name sending your mind into the sweetest haze of comfort just like that, "it's only been a few days but I am craving your touch and I just know I'm going to lose it and fuck you against the next best surface if we get into that car together, so I have to decline this offer", he adds and takes another step back, his lips stretching into a tiny smile and you can’t deny how much his words have you gotten you worked up, but you have no choice but to nod.

"Have a good night, baby", Kyoutani sighs and deep down you're hoping for a kiss, after all it's been way too long since you got to feel close to him but instead, he just lifts his hand up and starts waving at you and just as he is about to turn around, you find yourself reaching for his wrist. The fear and despair inside of you making you a little too brave for your personal liking but you know you can't just let him walk away like that.

"Please, Tani- Kyoutani", you whisper and let out a soft sigh of relief when he turns around to face you again, "I won't try anything, I just want to spend a little bit more time with you."

Kyoutani takes a deep breath, his dark eyes roaming your face and wandering down your body and even though it feels like he's literally devouring you alive, you enjoy his burning gazes regardless, a hidden part inside of you even craving them.

A solid minute passes by before he lets out a sigh and gives you a nod, his plump lips pressed into a thin line.

It takes you another deep breath and a couple of seconds to actually calm yourself down from the rollercoaster of emotions you've been through within the time span of an hour and as you sit there in your car, inhaling the cold air of the night, your mind starts replaying everything that went down, starting from the day you met Kyoutani, to your first and most recent kiss, as well as the encounter with Sora and your deep anger towards Yuuji.

The drive to Kyoutani's apartment passes by in a blur, way too fast for your liking and you can't help but pout when you pull up in front of the huge building, knowing very well that this will be the last interaction with the handsome tattoo artist for the upcoming few days and you can already feel tears pricking at the corners of your eyes.

He's been awfully quiet, not like you actually said anything but Kyoutani's silence was intense, boring into your soul and actually suffocating you to a point where the urge to just jump out of the car became overwhelming.

You know he's probably going through everything just like you, yet the feeling that his thoughts are more on the negative side just won't leave you alone and you hate the way your assumptions are being confirmed as soon as Kyoutani turns to look at you.

"I – love you, Y/N", he suddenly says, his voice soft and calm, yet still deep and the way it's filled with tenderness and the sweetest bit of longing makes the effect of those magical words even heavier.

Your lips part in shock, your head having a difficult time actually processing his confession and you can feel your whole body going into a standby mode.

"But you're not good for me."

You remember the way your heart broke into thousands of pieces when you found out the alleged love of your life was cheating on you without even batting an eye.

The pain was so intense and heavy, you didn't know how to deal with it and at some point you were convinced that your heart had stopped beating for a solid minute. It was bad, left you speechless and threw you into a hole of darkness you barely managed to escape from, yet still leaving you grateful for the experience.

You thought your first heartbreak would be able to prepare you for what's to come in the future, but what you went through as soon as those words had fallen past Kyoutani’s lips, can't be compared to anything you've ever felt before.

Your heart starts clenching as his words keep replaying inside of your head and your throat so is going absolutely dry from your desperate attempts to gasp for air as the feeling of being suffocated comes back.

Everything around you seems to disappear, your eyes still focused on Kyoutani's intense gaze as the feeling of emptiness starts filling up your whole body.

You easily lose track of time, your heart beat so slow and heavy and when the wave of reality crashes you yet again, an almost inaudible sob falls past your lips.

"B-But...", you can't get yourself to speak, the words getting stuck in your throat and soft cries the only thing filling the inside of your car.

And yet, there are so many things you want to tell him, so many things rushing through your mind at the highest speed, almost impossible to grasp them and actually put them into proper sentences.

"You have too much control over me. I lost myself trying to fit into the picture of a lover you need and deserve. But – I am not who I used to be anymore”, Kyoutani explains, nervously rubbing the sides of his pierced node with his thumb as he avoids looking in your direction at all costs.

“I am scared of losing what's obviously not mine. You make me feel weak and vulnerable and I just can't deal with it. You've become the center of my world, and I can't control how much it affects me. How much you affect me and – I hate it", he continued, his voice is still incredibly calm, yet a bittersweet tone of fear coating every single one of his words.

"B-But...", yet again, the whole of your vocabulary seems vanished, not one word to say as the knot in your throat tightens even further.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. I thought I could do it but – I am not meant to love and you deserve to be loved in the most special way possible”, he takes another quick break, letting out a sigh of exhaustion, “and that's why I'm letting you go. Please, don't hate me. Take care and – goodbye, my love.”

Those are his last words before he presses his lips against your forehead, making your head spin like crazy because of the contrast of his heartbreaking words and his soft kiss.

Kyoutani leaves without saying another word. He doesn't even look back once as he walks away and enters the apartment building, while you can't stop staring at the door with hot tears streaming down your cheeks and loud sobs filling the suffocating air surrounding you.

There you are, yet again.

Your eyes staring into the dark night as your body tries to cope with the intensity of pain you've thought you had overcome.

The constant breaking of your heart starts numbing every part of your body and you slowly start losing yourself in this certain kind of darkness.

Seconds turn into minutes and without even realizing, a whole hour has gone by with you staring into nothing.

Your mind plays games with you as it keeps replaying his words, his behavior, his kiss and the feeling of slowly but certainly going insane as you get out of the car a little too fast.

You tumble back, the sudden coldness hitting you right in the face and the mental as well as physical exhaustion has your body trembling.

And then it hits you.

The wave of anger, wrath, frustration and hatred literally wakes you up, pulls you back into reality and ends up taking over you completely.

Your eyes find the huge apartment building Kyoutani lives in, staring at it as if you could set it on fire and you know what you're about to do is a bad idea but your body acts before your mind can even get the chance to intervene.

And that's how you find yourself almost brutality slamming your fist against Kyoutani's door, your heart hammering against your rib cage way too fast for it to be still physically healthy and ten thousand different thoughts rushing through your chaotic mind.

"What the fuck is going – Y/N", Kyoutani looks at you with his pretty eyes slightly widened in shock, his lips parting as he struggles to keep his eyes on you and a disgusting feeling of shame and embarrassment starts filling you up.

You know this is pathetic, you are aware of how stupid you look standing in front of him like this but you just can't get yourself to actually care about it.

"Y/N, please don't-", "No, I listened to what you had to say and now I'm going to talk and you're going to listen to me. Before that I am not going anywhere because I deserve this", you cut him off, hands balled into fists as you try to stay calm but the more you think about his words in the car, the angrier you get.

"I–", Kyoutani sighs, his eyes nervously roaming your face and upon noticing the way you seem to shiver from the cold and your lack of clothing, he lets his conscience get the best of him, "alright, come in then.”

You follow him inside, the familiar scent of vanilla and Kyoutani's favorite febreeze scent filling your nose and you hate the way how comfortable you are.

After all you've been spending quite some time in this apartment; visiting him after your classes so he could bury his face between your legs and then offer you some homemade food, followed by a good old ghibli movie and lots of cuddles has become some kind of routine.

Oh, how you hate him for ruining all of those memories.

"Do you want something to drink? You're probably freezing", he offers, his voice filled with concern and you know he is right and you'd definitely give everything for a cup of tea and maybe some water, you still shove all of your body’s basic needs into the very back of your head and try to regain your composure.

"I – you – we", you take a deep breath, your mind struggling to put all of those racing thoughts into some kind of order, yet failing miserably.

But there's so much you want to say to him; so many things you want him to hear and now that you are actually standing in front of him, your body betrays you.

"You're a fucking coward, Kyoutani Kentarou", is the first thing you finally manage to let out, "and I hate you for leaving me like this. I fucking hate you.”

Deep down, you hate yourself for saying those words; the choice of words and the incredible heaviness they come with are usually not your way of expressing yourself yet you're not regretting them.

You don't know how this night is going to end, maybe this will be the last time you get to see Kyoutani or he'll eventually fuck you into oblivion and you finally end up together; but nevertheless you want your words to hurt him; you want them to wake him up just like his did to you.

"How dare you confess your love to me and tell me I basically ruined your life in the same breath when you're the one who's fucking all of this – us up. Yes, I’ve made a mistake and I've been regretting my choice of words for the past four days, even came to the point where I accepted your distance and decided to let go because I know how much my words hurt you. But us ending like this? Definitely not going to happen", Kyoutani stares at you with his pretty eyes focusing you attentively, barely blinking, not moving at all; he’s just listening to you.

"I just – don't understand how you can be this oblivious."

"Oblivious? Oblivious to what?", he asks, his voice a little deeper and raspier, sending goosebumps straight dow your spine as if your body needed to remind you the effect he has on you.

"Oblivious to everything. This is what love does to people, Kentarou. Of course you're going to feel weak and vulnerable because of me - because of the one you love. After all the point of being loved and loving someone else is showing those vulnerabilities and weakness to the person you trust the most because you know, or at least you hope, they won't take advantage of it.”

You take a deep breath, your mind slowing down as you ease yourself into his calming embrace and subconsciously losing yourself in the comfort it comes with.

“I'm yours. I've been yours since the very first day and we both know this, that's why you are so scared of losing me. And that's why my words hurt you so much”, you can tell that he’s already processing your words as much as he can; his habit of scratching the back of his head giving him away easily.

"You said you've lost yourself trying to fit into this picture of someone who I deserve but – you are the one who created that picture in the first place. Just because my first boyfriend was an alleged goody two shoes doesn't mean that you have to be like that too. Fuck that", you hiss, the thought of Kyoutani changing even the slightest bit about himself sending jolts of anger through your veins, "I don't care if you dropped out of college or that you have tattoos and piercings and bleach blonde hair. None of that matters to me because it's you, your kind heart and your pure soul I fell in love with.”

And suddenly - you can feel the burden on your shoulders disappear when those certain words leave your lips and the second Kyoutani raises his eyebrows in slight surprise before he locks eyes with you again has another breath of fresh air run through your suffocated lungs.

"Yes, I'm in love with you, Kyoutani Kentarou. Believe it or not, but for me, you're perfect just like this, with all your tiny habits and every single tattoo. There's nothing I'd change about you and I'm genuinely, truly sorry if I ever made you feel like you needed to change for me. You're a great guy and I guess that's why I ran back here after sitting in that car, crying for an hour because I couldn't stop thinking about the way you confessed your love to me”, you feel the thick veil of tears appear before they manage to block your sight, making the pretty face in front of you turn into bourry little pixels as your emotions overwhelm you.

“And yes, you are meant to be loved; maybe not meant to be loved by me but you deserve to be loved, do you hear me?"

You go up to him, closing some of the distance between the two of you before your finger darts out and poke his strong chest, trying to ease the tension after letting go of all those thoughts, "you deserve to love and to be loved because you're a good person. And I just – wanted to thank you for letting me into your life. Meeting you, getting to know the beautiful person you are has been one of the best things that has happened to me and I will cherish these memories forever."

And with those words you take a deep breath, let out another sigh, goving away your acceptance of defeat before you lift your head and prepare yourself to say your last goodbye no matter how painful it is.

"Take care, Kyoutani Kentarou and thank you, for everything", the words fall past your lips in the form of a whisper solely because you're too scared to break if you raised your volume just slightly.

You turn around and feel the first tear find its way down your cheek before you even get to walk away.

And just as you wrap your fingers around the doorknob, the sound of rushed footsteps approaching you makes you halt your movements.

"D-Don't go", Kyoutani suddenly says, his voice breaking when he comes to stand behind you, so close you can actually feel the warmth he's radiating, "I need you...so bad", he whispers into your ear, pressing his forehead against the back of your neck and it's like everything that happened tonight becomes irrelevant.

You turn around, not expecting Kyoutani to push you against the door with his whole body, yet still embracing him as much as you can.

With a soft sob, you start inhaling his unique scent, grazing his soft skin with your fingers and letting the warmth blossom inside of your chest after feeling his rapid heartbeat beneath your palm.

"Don't leave me, please", he cries, the tears running down his flushed cheeks despite his desperate attempts of holding back, "let's do this whole love thing.”

You stand there for what feels like an eternity, just hugging each other, taking in each other's presence and calming down from everything that has happened in such a short time. You finally calm down completely, Kyoutani's soft touches and tiny kisses give you the last bit of energy you needed and for the first time in almost three months, there's not one demon in your head trying to make you overthink something.

Because this feels perfect; there's literally no other word to describe the feeling of holding Kyoutani Kentarou and being held by him.

But nevertheless, you've been on a constant adrenaline rush for the past four hours and the exhaustion has been killing you, making you grow tired a lot faster than usual.

"What about moving this to your room, hm? I'd rather fall asleep with you in your bed than against the door; especially because I know the boys are out and will be coming home soon", you say softly, lifting Kyoutani's head from the crook of your neck and looking at him.

He sighs and gives you a soft kiss, giving you a nod in response before he gets himself to let go of you; his warmth leaving with him and it's almost disgusting how you literally crave his presence.

After Kyoutani makes you drink two glasses of water to avoid the dehydration of your body, he hands you one of his thick hoodies and leaves you to get ready in his bathroom.

You come back to the sight of him sitting against the headboard of his king sized bed, his oversized shirt revealing the perfect amount of collarbones and you enjoy the sight of his pretty skin and the dark lines covering most of it as well as the way his sweats hug his strong thighs in the best way possible.

And as you watch his eyes lazily roam your body, a hot jolt of arousal finds its way through your veins and right to your cunt.

"Don't look at me like that, sweet girl", Kyoutani suddenly groans and cocks his head to the side, his tongue poking out to wet his lips before he gulps harshly; his eyes never once leaving yours.

"B-But Tani...", you reply, approaching him with tiny steps become you come to stand right next to his tall figure, feeling yourself growing needier because of the way your body is craving his touch now more than ever.

“Baby…”, he replies and gulps harshly, knowing your body better than yourself after weeks of getting to know you in a way nobody has ever before.

"Please, Tani...please, fuck me. I need to feel you inside of me. I've been waiting for so long...", you plead, your fingers coming to graze his pretty lips as memories of all the times he had turned you into a crying mess with those lips.

Kyoutani is just as affected by the change in tension as you, the slight bulge in his grey sweatpants as well as the hunger burning in his eyes giving him away.

"You're such a pretty angel girl, aren’t you?", he whispers and sits up, pulling you closer to make you stand in between his legs as he starts caressing your hot cheeks with his fingers.

“Yet you're saying all those naughty things”, Kentarou chuckles deeply, “imagine how people would react if they knew what a cockhungry little slut you actually are", upon hearing those degrading names, your cunt starts clenching around nothing and a high pitched whimper escaped your throat.

"For you...", you whisper, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth the second Kyoutani starts placing open mouthed kisses on your neck.

Your fingers dig into his shoulders, pulling the material of his shirt a little too tightly.

"Of course, baby, you're mine after all and this sweet cunt", the sudden feeling of his palm pressing against the damped fabric of your panties has you gasping for air, "belongs to me, and me only", Kyoutani grunts, pulling the skin of your neck between his lips before he starts sucking gently as well as slowly moving his fingers against the lacey fabric between your legs.

"Yes, it's yours", you reply, after several weeks of being intimate with Kyoutani you've learned one thing and that's how much he loves hearing you say all those dirty and lewd things, "please fuck me."

"Patience, my love, patience. I am going to fuck you", Kentarou replies calmly and suddenly pushes you away, his hands disappearing from your body and when your lid flutter open because of the lack of touch, he shoots you one of his cocky smirks, "but let's not forget the whole friend situation, hm? What about you make it up to me before I fuck you like the little whore you are?"

His words have excitement rush through your blood, your head literally spinning just from the thought of finally getting to be on the giving end after weeks of him playing the selfless lover.

You nod eagerly, anticipation sparkling in your eyes as you watch him palm himself over his sweats before you get on your knees and wait for him to let go of his now fully erect cock.

However, the more seconds pass by like this, the more nervous you become because for some reason you suddenly remember that you've basically never sucked dick before.

Your head shoots up with slight panic written all over your face and of course Kyoutani notices your change in demeanor right away.

"What's wrong, angel?", he asks you and stops the movements of his hands.

"I don't know how to do it, Tani", you whisper, knowing there's no point in being shy about it, after all he happens to be the guy you've experienced your most firsts with.

"It's okay, baby, I'm going to help you”, Kyoutani replies and actually loses his composure for a second, “fuck baby, don't look at me like this when I'm literally about to fuck your throat", he hisses, throwing his head back as he grunts and his hips desperately bucking into the air.

Kyoutani takes another deep breath before he finally pushes his hand underneath the waistband of his sweats and with your eyes focused on his movements, you watch him pull out his hard length, a soft hiss falling past his plump lips when the coldness of the room grazes the slightly wet tip of his cock.

You gulp harshly, his impressive size in girth as well as length has your pussy throbbing like crazy, yet you can't help but wonder how the hell he's going to fit inside of you.

“Don't worry, baby, I know you're going to take all of my cock like the good girl you are", Kyoutani says after observing your facial expressions for some time.

"Give me your hand", he asks you softly, his voice still raspy and incredibly hoarse yet still soothing and you appreciate his attempts to calm himself down so you won't feel too nervous. With your heart slamming against your rib cage, you lift your hand up and are slightly overwhelmed at the sudden feeling of Kyoutani's warm spit pooling inside your palm. Without adding anything, he straightens himself and motions you to stroke his hard cock.

Not once do you stop looking at him as you wrap your fingers around the base of his impressive length and slowly start jerking him off.

Kyoutani cocks his head to the side, his bottom lip pulled in between his teeth and his eyes constantly fluttering close.

"Start with the tip, angel- just wrap your lips around it and start sucking, but be careful with your teeth, yeah baby?", he grunts, his hips thrusting into your fist every time the pace of your strokes slows down.

You give him yet another nod before look up at him one more time and do as he says.

The feeling of his cock between your lips is – different.

It feels like it's not supposed to be there, yet the salty taste of his precum coating your tongue has you sighing softly. Your tongue darts out, giving his tip a tiny kitten lick before you go back to sucking on it eagerly.

And while you seem to enjoy it a lot, Kyoutani is going absolutely crazy. You can see the way he's tensing his body as his grip in the bed sheets tightens and the vein on his neck pops out.

"F-Fuck, baby, just like that", he praises you "now try to take more of it in a-and use your hand for the rest", Kyoutani's voice is shaky, his eyes are nervously roaming your swollen lips and the string of spit connecting them to the tip of his cock.

Without giving it another thought, you take a deep breath and take more of him, trying your best to not graze his sensitive cock with your teeth and despite your initial struggle, you still enjoy the feeling of his cock on your tongue.

You subconsciously wrap your fingers around the part of his cock which you can't fit inside your mouth and suddenly it's like your body knows exactly what to do.

Kyoutani's moans grow louder and the soft thrusts of his hips become a little less controlled. You look up at him every now and then, trying your best to keep the steady rhythm as you bop your head.

And then he suddenly thrusts his length all the way to the back of your throat, your gag reflex just about to go off when he pulls back which is the moment you take notice of the tears streaming down your cheeks.

You give him a soft smile before going back to wrapping your lips around his tip, but you don't get very far.

Kyoutani pulls you back, his grip on the back of your neck not firm enough to hurt you.

"I promise I'm going to fuck your throat properly and even cum in your mouth the next time we do this but right now I just can't stop thinking about that tight cunt of yours", he says, helping you get up and almost instantly pulling you onto his lap; his wet cock rubbing against your panty covered core as Kyoutani pulls you in for a kiss.

It's sloppy and rushed, the way his tongue grazes over yours before he pulls it between his lips and starts sucking at it. Your hips start moving against his cock, your sensitive pussy craving some kind of friction as the arousal has your head spinning like crazy.

You start moaning and whimpering into his mouth when Kyoutani’s hips start meeting your desperate movements, applying the perfect amount of pressure onto your needy clit.

You feel the knot in the pit of your stomach tightening, the clenching of your cunt becoming worse the more you hump Kyoutani's cock like a woman starved.

But nothing prepares you for the feeling of one of his large digits entering you. Your hole start clenching around his finger Kyoutani pushes another one in, both digits buried inside of your little cunt.

"Such a good girl for me, aren't you, baby? I'm going to finger you nice and slow so you're ready for my cock. Now come on, my love; show me what a good whore you are and ride my fingers", Kyoutani encourages you, his hot breath fanning against the sensitive skin behind your ear and without missing a beat, your hips meet the skillful thrusts of his fingers.

Kyoutani continues to whisper naughty things into your ear, his other hand eventually wrapping around your throat as he makes sure you look into his eyes when you stumble over the edge.

Your high hits you hard and fast, the intensity knocking the breath out of your lungs and leaving you gasping for it; something you should be used to by now yet still can't believe is even possible.

He pushes you off of his lap softly, helps you get rid of his shirt as well as your ruined panties before he makes you lay down in the middle of his bed; eyes locking with yours when he also starts undressing.

"My pretty girl", Kyoutani sighs, his hand caressing the soft skin of your thighs, spanking you every now and then just because he's absolutely obsessed with the way your whole body tenses whenever his hand meets your skin.

“Look at me", he orders and almost instantly your head shoots up to meet his gaze, the sight of his naked body distracting you a lot more than you expected but after all this is the first time you get to see the rest of his tattoos; the ones you usually only get a tiny glimpse of depending on his outfit choice.

Kyoutani spreads your legs apart, his eyes never leaving yours even when he starts jerking off again and you can't hold back the soft whimpers and begs leaving your lips.

But also something about his flushed cheeks and swollen lips as well as his messy hair falling into his face has you incredibly turned on.

"We've never talked about this before but are you on the pill, baby?", he asks, pushing one of his thumbs into his mouth before he brings it down to your clit and starts rubbing soft circles into it, making you arch your back off of the mattress as you bury your face in the pillow to keep your noises down.

"N-No", you whisper, a deep sigh coming from Kyoutani and even though you know you shouldn’t do it, you stop him from bending over to the drawer of his nightstand, making him look at you in confusion.

“But I still want you to raw me, please...", you add and gulp harshly when his whole body seems to go into some kind of haze once the words leaveyour lips.

Kyoutani looks at you, his eyes darkening even more as he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth and lets out a loud moan of your name.

"I can't just raw you, baby", he presses through gritted teeth, his mask slowly falling apart the more you rub yourself against his cock, "you've never had sex without a condom and my pull out game is weak, even weaker when it comes to you because fuck – the thought of filling you up with my cum sounds so fucking good", Kyou groans when you scoot up a little, taking his length into your hand before you line him up with your entrance.

"B-But what if you get pregnant, sweet girl?", he sighs and tries to pull away, making you wrap your arms around his neck as you look into his pretty eyes.

"That will just show everyone around us how well you've fucked me", you whisper and elicit another deep moan from him, his whole body shaking slightly as he tries to hold himself back from just pounding into you.

"Such a cockhungry whore", he hisses and – finally – starts pushing his fat cock into your tiny cunt, the slight stretch making you both gasp for air.

“If that's what you want, then that’s what you get, you little slut. I'm going to fucking raw you and fill you up with all of my cum, make you my cumslut", Kyoutani grunts, pulling your bottom lip between his teeth before he harshly grabs your face and looks into your eyes as he buries more of himself inside of you.

"F-Fuck, you're big", you whimper, throwing your head back and trying your very best to stop clenching around his cock.

“We're almost there, baby- you got this, s-stop clenching", Kyoutani grunts against your parted lips. Without a warning, Kyoutani pushes the rest of his huge cock inside of you, bottoming out completely.

“F-Fuck...you’re so– tight”, Kentarou grunts, his fingers digging into the flesh of your hips as he buries his face in the crook of your neck, “it’s like you’ve never been fucked before.”

“S-So good...so fucking good, nngh-”, your little whimpers and whines are slurred, barely coherent as the feeling of being filled to the brim pushes you into a haze of pleasure.

You feel the pulsation of his cock against your spongy walls, his hands nervously roaming your body and groping one of your tits, as he obviously tries to calm himself down.

And then he finally starts moving.

A deep, guttural moan leaves the both of you when he pulls himself out of your tight hole, dragging his huge cock along the walls of your little cunt in the most delicious way possible before he almost brutally shoves himself back in again.

“Mhm, just like that, you little brat”, he grunts, sitting up on his knees as he pushes your legs further apart, his eyes focusing the way his fat cock stretches your hole just how he’s been imagining it all this time, “coming up to me and talking about having your little cunt rawed like some cumhungry little whore.”

You start nodding almost instantly at his words, your brain barely recognizing them, the only thing you can focus on being the way the tip of his cock grazes the entrance to your womb with every harsh, brutal thrust of his hips.

His thrusts find a steady rhythm, hard and so, so deep.

“Open your mouth”, Kyoutani grunts, a single drop of sweat finding its way down the center of his tattooed chest, the sight making you whimper and whine for him even louder as you part your lips as soon as you process his words.

“You know what? I’d rather have you say it”, he suddenly hisses, pulling his cock out of your spasming cunt before he presses your legs together and shoves himself back inside of you with one skilled thrust of his hips.

You have no idea at what point you start crying but by the time Kyoutani's moans and grunts start picking up their pace, you're a sobbing mess.

“S-Say wh-what?”, you sob, hiding your tear and spit stained face behind your hands, not daring to look up at him.

“I want you to ask for my spit and beg for my cum”, Kentarou’s voice grows raspier, the dominance seething through every single one of his words makes it so easy for you to fall even further into the hole of absolute submission, “and stop hiding yourself, angel girl..I wanna watch the way I’m fucking your brains out.”

A row of loud, high pitched whines and a combination of sobs and moans are the only thing you manage to respond with, your brain clouded with the feeling of his thick cock dragging along the spongy walls of your cunt.

And before you can even comprehend his next movement, you hear the loud sound of skin meeting skin followed by the delicious feeling of a sting sending jolts of pain through your body, something you’ve come to love after so many hours with the tattoo artist.

“I told you to ask and beg for it, angel girl..you’re making me wait”, Kentarou spits, never once halting the movements of his hips as he watches the way you start sobbing even more, your cunt spasming around his cock after his painful spank.

“Please...f-fuck, please spit in my mouth and my face and on my cunt- want it all”, you start brabbling, another row of incohrent begs following right afterwars as your hips sloppily meet his harsh thrusts, “I want you to stuff me full of your cum, too- please, Daddy, wanna be your little c-cumdumpster.”

“There you go..”, Kyoutani’s plump lips stretch into a big smile as his cock throbs at the sound of that one forbidden little word he’s come to love even more after hearing it from you only a handful of times.

He didn’t hesitate to tell you about how much it turns him on around two weeks after the two fo you had started dating and even though he never really expected you to use it, he was secretely hoping for you to overcome your shyness.

You had used it only twice before when the pleasure had gotten too much for your brain to handle and Kyoutani knew you’d stop holding yourself back as soon as you got a taste of his cock.

“What did you just call me, pretty girl?”, he cooes, giggling softly at the way you whimper and cry even harder, knowing oh so well what he wants to hear.

And for the first time you just can’t get yourself to argue with the little voice in the back of your head; the feeling of his cock stretching your tiny cunt making it so, so easy to just let go of all those doubts and worries.

“Please, Daddy”, you reply and look into his eyes, groping your own tits as you arch your back to feel him even deeper inside of you, “n-need your cum inside of me...please- want everyone to know who I belong to.”

You don’t really expect it, yet your pussy almost instantly start clenching around his cock when kyoutani harshly grabs your face, making you part your lips before he spits into your mouth.

The loud, lewd sound of it rings in your ears in the best way possible and acting like a literal aphrodisiac in combination with the delicious taste of his saliva coating the hot muscle of your tongue.

You hum softly before you swallow it all, a gentle sob escaing your lips before you look up at him again.

"Now go on, angel girl”, he growls, pushing his hand in between your legs to rub circles into your hardened clit, “I want you to cum for me. Be a good little dumpster for your Daddy and show me what only I can do to you.”

You can barely process his words, the lewdness just fueling the fire in the pit of your stomach as you lose yourself in the feeling of your upcoming high. But you still start nodding, cringing at the feeling your saliva dripping down your jawline.

And with one last thrust, you feel your high crashing down onto you with such heaviness, you're left absolutely breathless.

Your whole body is trembling as the waves of your orgasm hit you, a row of incoherent words leaving your lips before you stop trying and just start crying for your precious Daddy.

"That's my baby”, is the first thing your brain manages to process again, everything still a blurry mess and when you look at Kyou, you realize you’re still cumming.

Your cunt is almost painfully spasming around his big cock, your juices dripping down the sides of his length as he helps you ride out your orgasm.

“You’re such a good, good girl for Daddy, aren’t you? I'm so proud of you", Kyoutani praises you, his thrust a little sloppier than before and from the way he's digging his fingers into the skin of your waist, you can only assume that he's also quiet close, "you're also going to take all of Daddy’s cum, right, baby? We gotta make sure I fill you up nicely..."

You take a deep breath, your slightly overstimulated cunt sending shivers down your spine as your eyes focus on Kyoutani's parted lips.

"Please, Daddy...need you to fill me up with your cum", you encourage him and when you slowly push two of your fingers into his mouth, knowing how much he loves to suck on them no matter what situation you’re both in, you finally get to see his whole face crunch up in pleasure.

His body tenses up as his grip on your waist becomes firmer before he starts cumming inside of you with a deep, raspy moan; coating the walls in several shades of white with three thick spurts of his cum.

Kyoutani buries his face in the crook of your neck as he slowly calms down, loud breathing and rushed gasps for air the only thing to fill the inside of his empty room.

"I love you so much", he whispers and gives you a soft kiss, his cock still firmly buried inside of your sensitive cunt before he shoots you a soft smile; looking almost boyish with his glossy eyes and flushed cheeks.

"I love you, too, D-Daddy”, you whisper, gulping harshly as the words leave your lips, feeling yourself grow even smaller underneath his strong yet comforting gaze, “thank you for giving us a chance", you add and pull him into for another kiss.

"Kyoutani Kentarou, your favorite group of walking disappointments is back and better than ev - oh", Iwaizumi Hajime, Kyoutani's High School best friend, fellow tattoo aritst and roommate suddenly yells and almost brutally slams open the door, startling you to the last bone in your body.

Kyoutani is quick to cover you up with his body, his hand reaching for one of the blankets on the floor as he grunts in annoyance.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know–", "What is it, Iwa-Chan? Is he jerking off again? Kyoutani Kentarou you little piece of shit, just go and fuck that–", just like Iwaizumi, Oikawa – who also happens to be his best friend, felow tattoo artist and roommate – comes to stand in the doorway, bumping into his best friend before he finally spots the two of you.

"You're naked", he points out, closing his eyes almost instantly after realizing what he has just come to witness and despite the disgusting feeling of wanting to disappear and never come back again, you can't help but giggle at their shocked and slightly disgusted faces.

Kyoutani takes a deep breath and pulls out of you, still making sure to hide you behind his body before he hands you the blanket and lets his eyes shift to the door, looking at his best friends in pure disbelief.

"Kawa stop fucking staring and – can you two please fuck off?", he yells, pulling the boys back to reality and the way both of them shift to look at you only to blush from their necks to their ears has you chuckling softly.

This type of situation is nothing you’re not used to – unfortunately.

"Uhm – of course! Oh, my fucking God! So sorry, Kyou", Iwaizumi stutters and wraps his fingers around the doorknob, avoiding your eyes as much as he can before he pushes Oikawa away and then closes the door with another row of apologies.

Kyoutani just looks at you apologetically as he shakes his head and face palms himself, making the both of you burst into loud laughter.

And after taking a shower together and actually eating some late dinner with the boys, you fall asleep with Kyoutani's arms tightly wrapped around your waist, his face buried inside the crook of your neck and one last love confession.

And when those sweet words fall past his lips yet again, you realize – you're finally home.

[ banner source ]

[kishimotomasashi]

For the meme thing, Hashirama <3 (or madara if you'd prefer)

Pick a character I am likely to have Feelings/Opinions about and I will give and explain the top five ideas/concepts/etc that I believe are essential to accurately depicting them.

Choosing Madara bc I don't think I have a solid grasp on Hashirama, much (also I'm sorry for answering this WEEKS late):

1) I was thinking of talking about what I think are his some of his core traits separately (caution, power, control) but I've decided to group them together because they're all derived from his relationship with violence and how it's shaped him as he grew up.

In a world where it's almost a miracle to grow past 20 and where he's already lost three of his siblings at a very young age, he's always going to be on his guard, always watching his back, because it's easy to be caught unawares and to lose your life or someone close to you's unexpectedly in his line of work. He's always observing, double-checking, making sure, questioning. And not even just on the battlefield! Even when he's given his "trust" to Hashirama and agreed to the alliance and to build their new village, he's still not 100% on board, he's still taking mental notes, preparing himself for and predicting outcomes; this is almost too good to be true, is this really going to work, is this really going to last, is this really the answer? Pretty fitting, really, that one of the first things we learn about him is that he's always watching his back.

And of course, he often turns to power. It's the only thing he knows, in their lives driven by violence, that actually, indisputably works. Growing powerful and winning battles, being feared for your strength and intimidating others into submission, those not only keep you alive but keep you thriving. Only those with the necessary strength can move anything around. Power is quick, easy and dependable, always.

Both of these tie into the need for control, because to be able to predict and expect where anyone might attack and to have the strength and ability to actually deal with it is to always turn the situation in your favour. He'll always make sure he has full control over a situation in the end, especially when in the end he feels that he has no one left to trust but himself.

All of this is fundamentally tied to having grown up a child soldier and having seen nothing else but violence even into his early adulthood. He was raised on it, and honestly can't see a way out of it.

2) He needs tangible proof that something works and/or is possible before he'll go along with it. He's not going to be convinced into agreeing to something he's certain is doomed to fail, and it'll take a whole lot to get him on board with something he doesn't see having a 100% success rate either. Ties into the caution thing a bit, but he's a planner. A good one? Arguable, but even if things don't go entirely as he's laid them out in his head, he generally gets the job done that way. And is it really "taking risks" if you're confidently powerful enough to offset the consequences of them?

3) He has a bit of a temper. You could call it a short-fuse when he was a child, but that's something you train yourself out of as you grow and as an adult you'd expect him less to fly off at you for sneaking up on him unexpectedly. His anger isn't any less difficult to deal with, though, it just comes less in immediate bursts and more in long brooding periods that are difficult to shake him out of without aggravating him more. He'll get over it... at some point.

4) This is true for every Uchiha character we see honestly but it's always important to point out that love and the loss of it are an important part of shaping who he is. They tie into a lot of his feelings of guilt, and duty for his clan.

That he wasn't able to protect his other three brothers that died always weighs on his mind, so that amplifies the protectiveness he has over Izuna, his last remaining sibling. Tying into point 2, it's why he chooses his brother and his allegiance to his clan over Hashirama, no matter how badly he would have wanted to stay friends with him; because, to him, it was the safer choice. He would rather stick to his own side and focus on protecting all he can rather than wade into the uncertain and face risks he couldn't control.

His insistence, also, that the Uchiha would be better off not in Konoha and his fear that the Senju would come to oppress them is heightened in part I think by Izuna's death and the fact that he came to agree to a ceasefire only after being defeated by Hashirama and that members of his clan were defecting. When Izuna's gone, all he has left is his clan and the fact that he's their leader and that their future rests on him. Inevitably, he's going to be more suspicious (and he wasn't entirely off on that either).

5) I think I've said everything that's important so to close it off. I just think you Get Him more if you acknowledge that he's gay.

[scandalsavagefanfic]

Hello! I am a huge fan of ur writing. I've loved everything I've read of yours. I've read alot of what you've posted, except for a couple of the tags that are squicky for me (so I'm very thankful you tag very thoroughly). No judgement for the squick, it's just not for me. & when I'm having a bad day, I usually just go thru ur ao3 and find something to reread. I think about Therapy's Bruce & Jason every damn day. While I obvs appreciate ur darker more "problematic" content (I really vibe with some of the themes you write about bc of my own trauma, & so it's very cathartic to read about in a fictional setting), I am truly a sucker for ur more happy content. The Happily Ever After verse also lives in my head rent free. Idk more wholesome stuff just seems more special when you write it. Anyways. I would die for you. But the point of this ask is cause I'm curious as to why you don't like Urban Legends? I'm sorry if you already talked about it here or on twitter and I missed it. I was just wondering because I really enjoy your take on things and would love to hear why you dislike it. I've been enjoying it so far personally, but I am always open to DC comics criticism.

Aw thank you so much! I'm so flattered by everything you just said. You're so sweet ❤❤❤❤❤

I haven't talked about Urban Legends here or twitter (I haven't been very active in either place lately. Just a lot going on and no energy 😔) but I'm happy to do it here.

Before I start though, I just want to add a standard disclaimer and make it clear that if you like it, there's nothing wrong with that and you don't have to let me ruin it for you lol. Like what you like.

That said, since you asked...

I said this when I was talking about it on discord, that there is a difference between hope and expectation. I always hope that a new story centered on Jason (or anyone really, but things have been especially egregious for Jay for 15 years) will be good or at least treat the character with a minimal level of respect (to be honest, the bar is super fucking low). But my expectations always temper my hope, to keep it from getting unrealistic. Because my expectations are based on experience.

The long history of Jason Todd, since even before his resurrection, has been one of retroactively trying to make him "a bad seed" in order to absolve Bruce of any responsibility in his death.

I don't even expect DC or their writers to start honoring the fact that Jason was not an angry, reckless Robin (and less of the later than Dick or Tim and definitely Damian). There plenty of ways that retcon can be folded into his history and be compelling and sympathetic. And if they're going to stick with that retcon, I'm only asking that they do it in one of those compelling and sympathetic ways because Jason was 15 when he died, heroically, in one of the most selfless acts in comics, to save a woman who literally handed him over to be brutally murdered. He was 12 when Bruce plucked him off the streets, he'd been homeless and fending for himself for at least two years. I personally think that Jason's story hits harder for him and Bruce if their original, canon relationship, of Jason as starry-eyed and eager to learn and absolutely devoted to Bruce and Bruce to Jason, is preserved. But Jason's origins does leave room for a meaningful interpretation of him as angry and frustrated at the lack of meaningful results of Bruce's methods.

And that's really where my irritation at stories like Batman: Urban Legends, Cheer and Batman The Adventure Continues has it's roots.

Every time one of these stories comes out, I think (or hope, rather) that this will be the one that remembers and respects the origins of the Jason and the Red Hood, that takes into account the changed sensibilities of comics readers in the 30 years since Jason's death and the subtle, 20 year, retroactive campaign to make him the "bad Robin". The "born bad" trope is played out and literally no one likes the message it implies. That some kids are just bad eggs and there's nothing parents or the adults around them can do. Especially when it's played as the kid's fault. If Jason's time as Robin is going to be characterized by anger, then it should be rooted in anger at the social injustices he witnessed as he grew up in an impoverished, crime-ridden, area and the horrors he faced raising himself when every day was a battle for survival. There are topical, meaningful, stories to tell with that backdrop.

But those are never the stories we get.

⚠⚠ Spoilers for Batman: Urban Legends, Cheer ⚠⚠

I'm particularly disappointed in Urban Legends because for the first issue, it looked like that was the kind of story we were going to get. I was put off by the first flashback of Jason being mesmerized by Bruce's guns, and I got that feeling in my gut that it was a bad sign. Jason depicted as impatient and overconfident and the scene with the guns is heavy-handed foreshadowing that got my spidey-sense tingling. I had a inkling then (in the first three pages) of how this story was going to play out, but it was early and I could still see many narrative paths that could lead to a satisfying story. My concerns were soothed somewhat and the little flame of my hope fanned, with the flashback of Alfred scolding Bruce, with Barbara's concern for Jason. A bit of worry returned with the way Jason ruthlessly pursued an addict who didn't appear to be a dealer and with the ending of the issue. The stuff with the addict sat wrong with me but the ending was tempered some by how despicable Tyler's dad was written. The scene was clearly set so that the reader could sympathize with Jason's decision and the scene with the addict could be brushed aside as a side-effect of comics over-the-top need for constant action, so I still held hope.

Issue 2 made me uncomfortable and it's where my hope starts to take a backseat to my expectations. I can dismiss Jason's self-deprecating internal monologue as unreliable narration, except that the flashback reinforces his thought process to explicitly show that it's not unreliable narration, and should be taken at face value. Jason faces physical abuse at the hands of his mother's drug dealer and when the flashback continues later, Jason kills the drug dealer. To be clear, this is a pre-Bruce Jason. His mom is still alive. He's like... 10. He kills this guy for shoving his head into a wall and implying Jason's mother paid for her drugs with sex. This is a scene that serves a single purpose. To show that Jason has always been prone to violence.

In the spirit of full disclosure, there is the small chance the drug dealer might not be dead. But the story obviously wants the reader to think he is, and it hasn't done anything to change that yet.

Starlin already did this story with The Diplomat’s Son in 1988 and he did it infinitely better. AND that’s still technically canon. So now I’m supposed to believe that Jason lost his cool bad enough to kill two douche bags before his sweet 16? Like it’s totally normal for abused kids raised in poverty, who’ve led hard and heartbreaking lives to just... haul off and kill people? That’s bullshit, and when taken with the Jason in the third issue, who is little more than an idiot thug, this story is really doubling down on some fucked up stereotypes.

Which brings us to the most recent issue. I went into this installment with very low expectations. I thought this story was going to be about Jason, through this experience with Tyler, a young boy with a similar background to Jason's, coming to the realization that Bruce's way is the best way and that Bruce did his best by Jason.

That would be annoying (in no small part because it takes increasingly absurd levels of plot armor to keep Bruce's no kill rule relevant, let alone irrefutably right). But I can probably live with that, if only because maybe if Jason officially falls back into line with the Bats crusade, maybe I'll get stories that treat him with respect, stories that don't relegate him to comic relief, dumb brute, or a background body with no lines in a story about the Joker burning Gotham (like Jason would just fucking stand there quietly for that).

And that may still be where the story is going, Jason realizing Bruce is right.

But holy shit do I not have the right words to describe how fucking insulting and gross issue three is.

From start to finish--including the flashback--Jason is written as cruel and fucking stupid. Like straight up dumb.

The entire issue is Bruce explaining the fucking basics to Jason like it's his first day. And Jason flies off the fucking handle and terrorizes a doctor he knows isn't a part of making the Cheerdrops, beats the shit out of some random addicts, and finally, when he can't accomplish anything on his own because he's a dumb brute he calls Barbara for help and rushes in with no information where he's promptly incapacitated and must now wait to be rescued by Batman.

This panel is the least of the issues sins but I can’t screenshot the entire story but it’s representative of the tone for the whole issue (and retroactively tainted the prior two issues).

This is beyond insulting. The only conclusions Jason comes to in this issue are the ones Bruce leads him to by talking to him like he can’t make the simplest connections. And like... in this story Jason can’t make the simplest connections.

This (and the Jason throughout the entirety of this issue) is a far cry from the Jason we fell in love with in Under the Red Hood, who was competent and strategic and intelligent enough to seize control of Gotham’s underworld from Black Mask (who’s no fucking slouch, he’s the first and only person to unify organized crime in Gotham) AND elude and manipulate Bruce until the time and place of his choosing.

This is a far cry from even the Red Hood and the Outlaws Jason who is competent enough to fight the League of Shadows and Ra’s al Ghul (among very dangerous and skilled others) and smart enough to create antidotes for mind control nanotech viruses.

As he should be, by the way. Jason Todd is one of the best, most comprehensively trained fighters in DC’s stable of non powered vigilantes. He’s not irrational or hot headed. He’s pragmatic, tactically minded, and patient. He’s a detective. Right now. Has been since he was 12. Bruce doesn’t have to make him one because he already is. 

Jason is not a stupid thug who uses his fists because his brain doesn’t work. And I can’t tell you how so very exhausted I am by this narrative. 

This is actually the most egregious example of Jason’s skills and intelligence being not just undermined but dismissed entirely. Even Morrison’s Jason had some degree of competency. 

The one, single redeeming factor of this story is the art. It’s beautiful. And Marcus To is a godsend he seems to be one of only a couple of artists who remember that Jason was a child when he was Robin and I’m literally only buying this book because of him. 

Anyway, I’m sorry. I didn’t want that to come out so... um... passionately lol. I’m just very very tired. My intention with this isn’t to ruin it for you, if you like it, that’s fine. 

But this issue shot this story to the top of my "Vehemently Despise” list. 1) Batman: Urban Legends (Cheer), 2) Battle for the Cowl/Morrison’s Batman and Robin, 3) Batman The Adventure Continues.

I hope the next issues somehow salvage this dumpster fire. But I’m not expecting it.

(Damnit. That sounded harsh again. To reiterate, I’m not trying to judge anyone who enjoys it, I just personally hate it and you asked me why lol 😅)

[theweasleysredhair]

CHLOE MY LOVE! congrats on 4.6k -- honestly not sure how you don't have a million more followers because your blog and your writing is freaking brilliant! so happy to have formed a genuine friendship with you :') brb getting emotional. anyway! for your event, could you write a little something with my love george with a few different prompts? is that allowed? 3 and 8 from angst, 10 from fluff? who's surprised, i'm all fluff, congrats again my darling you deserve it all x

thank you so so much angel!! 💕 of course i decided i had to do a fake dating drabble for you erica, i got v carried away with it too so hope you like a super long drabble that turned into practically a whole fic - enjoy! ❤️

theweasleysredhair’s 4.6k follower event!

~~

3. “I told you not to fall in love with me.”

8. “I can’t pretend anymore.”

10. “Because I love you.”

~~~

Character: George Weasley

Word Count: 1884

WARNING: there’s no ‘read more’ bc i’m on mobile and couldn’t get it to work hahaha i apologise

Taglist: @dreamer821 @gracemayhateyou @criminalyetminimal @firewhisky-kisses @obsessedwithrandomthings @angelinathebook @iprobablyshipit91 @potterverseimagine @slytherineheir @kpopgirlbtssvt @rexorangecouny @wand3ringr0s3 @ickle-ronniekins @sehunasbitch @cryingforcrystalpepsi @kashishwrites @girl-next-door-writes @susceptible-but-siriusexual @crissdanvers @besitos-41 @heart-of-tempered-steel @andineversawyoucoming @mytreec | message or send an ask to be added/removed!

Disclaimer: Gif isn’t mine, credit goes to whoever made it

~*~

PLEASE DO NOT REPOST MY WORK! REBLOGS ARE ABSOLUTELY FINE! <3

+ + + + +

“I need you to date me.”

In shock, you dropped too many of the porcupine quills into your potion, making the liquid turn a nasty shade of green and sizzle as it practically exploded across the table. You sighed frustratedly, grabbing your wand and cleaning up the potion before turning to the person who spoke - one half of the Weasley twins and one of your best friends, George Weasley - who apparently found your reaction extremely amusing.

“I beg your pardon?” You asked, crossing your arms over your chest. The hint of a smile was still etched onto his face as he leaned forward, “I need you to date me.”

You felt yourself grow warm at the thought, “You’re joking, right?” “For once, I am not,” he shook his head, “I um, I told this girl I couldn’t go to the Yule Ball with her because I had a girlfriend who I’m going with instead. Except, I don’t have a girlfriend. So you can see my dilemma.”

“This may be a stupid question but... if you don’t have a girlfriend, why did you tell her you do?” You raised an eyebrow, half curious, half amused.

“I didn’t want to be rude and just tell her no because she was really sweet. So now I need to find someone to date me, and I thought of you,” he explained with a shrug, playing with some of the potion ingredients you’d left at the end of your table.

“There are so many other girls you could have-“

“I don’t want anyone else, I want you,” he said almost desperately, before sighing downheartedly, “C’mon, it wouldn’t be so bad, and it wouldn’t have to be for long! Just until the Yule Ball. It’s not like we’d have to pretend that much! I spend most of my free time with you as it is.”

“How do you know I don’t already have a date, huh?” You asked, beginning to start your potion all over again before Snape got the chance to scold you.

George’s face dropped and his jaw clenched, “What do you mean? Who asked you?”

“Well, no one. But my point was, what if they had?”

“Then you’d tell them you’ve been given a better option - me - and that they were never good enough for you. You know, the truth,” he nodded triumphantly, running a hand through his hair.

You shook your head at him with a smile, glancing up at him before your gaze travelled back to your potion.

“So what do you say?”

You pondered it for a moment, before replying, “Fine.”

George broke out into a large grin, wrapping his arms around you and very nearly swinging you around the room in excitement, “Darling, you are the best! I owe you big time!”

“Yes, you do. Now, do we have any rules we need to discuss?”

“Like what?”

“Like, I don’t know, a backstory, how we got together, how far we’d go with PDA - I vote not too far if I’m honest,” you said nervously, toying with the hem of your jumper.

“Well I vote the opposite, I think we should have lots of PDA constantly, all the time!”

“George,” you said warningly, though you couldn’t help the way your lips curved into a smile.

“Fine,” he dragged out the last syllable, “I can only think of one rule. A very important rule that I’m sure you might have a hard time not breaking.”

“Go on?”

“Whatever you do, don’t fall in love with me!” His eyes widened dramatically as he pointed at you. “No chance of that happening, don’t you worry,” you laughed, stirring the potion.

“Well that was rude of you,” he said in mock hurt, a hand on his heart as he pouted at you. You cracked a smile and shook your head, “Oh be quiet will you, and pass me the rest of those porcupine quills, I have to finish redoing this potion that you made me ruin.”

“Nagging me already,” George mumbled, “We really are a couple.”

***

You realised pretty quickly that you were wrong about there being no chance of falling for George. So very wrong. Turns out the chances of falling for George Weasley were 100%, because somewhere between being his friend and being more, you fell head over heels in love with him.

If you were honest with yourself, you’d had feelings for him before the whole fake-dating, but figured you’d mistaken them for feelings of strong friendship.

Now you knew - you didn’t want to be his friend, you wanted him to snog you against a wall as he whispered sweet nothings in your ear.

And all of this was because of one simple kiss. You hadn’t expected it, didn’t know it was going to happen. All you knew was that one minute you were walking down the hallway with George’s arm around your shoulder - not even for show, really, he just walked with you like that anyway - and the next, your back was against a pillar, your eyes widening as you stared up at George, feeling yourself growing warm.

“W-What’s going on?” You stammered out, heart pounding as you lost yourself in his brown eyes, suddenly getting the urge to run your hand through his ginger hair and pull him by his tie down into a kiss.

“She’s watching,” he murmured, nodding subtly down to the end of the hallway. You couldn’t see anyone, but took his word for it as you figured you were just overwhelmingly flustered from the proximity.

And suddenly you realised what position you were in: his hands either side of your head, trapping you between his chest and the pillar, your own chest barely an inch away from him and his legs brushing against your own.

Your breath hitched in your mouth, noticing how his eyes flickered from your eyes down to your mouth before moving back up again. Your lips parted a little, chin tilting ever-so-slightly upwards as you waited to see what he’d do.

“You’re so beautiful, you know that?” He murmured, and suddenly his lips were on yours, pulling you into a desperate kiss, him cupping your cheek to bring you closer, his other hand sliding down the pillar to grab your waist.

This wasn’t a kiss from someone who was just a friend. This was a kiss that made your toes curl, set your skin on fire and made you want more - so much more.

And in that moment you realised you loved him. You didn’t want to go back to being George’s friend, not when you knew how his lips felt against yours, how his hands felt holding your waist.

He’d finally pulled away for air, still pressing shorter kisses to your lips as you both breathed heavily, and you dragged a hand through his hair, just how you’d imagined.

You knew, right then, that you were in love with him. All of a sudden, and very very full on.

After that, you suddenly noticed and admired everything about him, from the way he laughed to the way he bit his lip as he glanced your way.

And the thought of breaking this whole dating thing off - something that you’d both planned to happen the day after the Yule Ball - made you feel sick to your stomach. The thought of never kissing him again made you want to scream.

You couldn’t imagine going back to being friends. Not when you’d had a taster of what it was like to be George Weasley’s girlfriend.

You argued with yourself, one half of you wanting to end it with him now in order to save yourself further heartbreak, and the other half wanting to continue for as long as possible. It was all you could think about, from the moment you woke up in the morning to the moment you went to sleep at night. And you decided you couldn’t keep going like this, it wasn’t fair to you.

You couldn’t keep pretending you weren’t in love with the ginger boy.

And so, when you found yourself sat in his common room late one night two weeks after that first fateful kiss, sharing one of the red plush couches with him, his leg pressed next to yours and your heart racing, the rest of the students already in their dorms, you decided to be honest with him.

“George?”

“Yes?” George waited for your reply, however at the silence, he looked up curiously, finding you chewing on your lip in thought.

“Are you okay, love?” He asked, concern seeping into his voice as he looked at you, noticing how restless you appeared, how lost in thought.

“I um.. yes? I mean no,” you frowned, “I mean- I don’t know.”

He shifted, his body tilting towards yours and he grabbed your hands in his, bringing them up to his lips so he could press a kiss to you knuckles, “What’s wrong, what’s going on?”

“I can’t pretend anymore, Georgie,” you whispered, afraid if you spoke any louder your voice would fail you.

“What do you mean, you can’t pretend? You’re scaring me, princess, please tell me what’s going on in that mind of yours,” he frowned, hating the idea of anything even remotely bothering you.

“I can’t pretend to be your girlfriend anymore.”

And suddenly George felt like he’d been winded, a pain in his chest he could only liken to heartbreak, if he was to be so dramatic.

“What?” His voice was small, especially in the silent room. He wanted to know why. Had he done something wrong? Made you feel uncomfortable at one point? He’d hate himself if he had.

“I can’t pretend because- because I fell in love with you,” you breathed out, lips trembling as you stared at your clasped hands, “This isn’t pretend for me anymore, this is real! And it’s scary, and I don’t know what to do about it.”

There was a silence and you couldn’t bring yourself to look up at him, not wanting to see the look on his face as he tried to come up with, you presumed, a way to reject you.

“You wanna know why I asked you to be my fake girlfriend?” He asked suddenly, squeezing your hands and waiting for you to nod slightly at him, before continuing, “Because I wanted a reason to ask you to the Yule Ball without being rejected. Because I wanted to spend even more time with you, to have a glimpse at what it would be like to date you. Because-because I love you.”

Your felt your heart skip a beat as you finally looked up at him, meeting his eyes as he smiled at you.

“You love me?” You whispered.

“Always have, I reckon.”

You couldn’t help the grin that spread across your face as you allowed him to pull you closer to him, “Well I guess it’s definitely a good job I fell for you, huh?”

He grinned cheekily, biting his lip as he replied jokingly, “Well, I don’t know really, I mean, I thought I told you not to fall in love with me.”

“Yeah, well,” you spoke, letting a soft smile creep onto your face,

“As it turns out, I just couldn’t help myself.”

[cursed-saphire-hart]

Ok I know you've acknowledged it, and I know in your au Tord acknowledges it, but its been on my mind for a little and I have no idea where else to say it. But Doomed Timeline Tord (and I guess Happy family Tord Before Tobi fixed things) is not a good father. I know its been said but I've never seen anyone here bring up the fact that even he knows it, but makes no attempt to change. I can understand that losing Anya fucked him up badly, especially considering that now he has a son as the living reminder of just how badly he messed up, but that doesn't justify or excuse the fact that (it seems) he isn't trying. And don't even get me started on the stuff where he not only emotionally neglects but physically abuses Tobi (I don't know if this is canon but I'm hoping its not)

Im not gonna get into how mad I am at him though because we all know that Anya will have Hell hath no fury when Tord dies

This has been on my mind for a bit but for some reason of all things the haircut ask really hit me hard

And finally someone dropped it hot and hard. I have literally been waiting for someone to point it out and solidify it in text bc i was too lazy to get the ball rolling down a hill.

Here's a tangent to read.

Doomed Timeline Tord is basically just mentally stuck. He never makes attempts to change or make things better since thats what people with control issues do. If they feel like they lost control once in their life, they'll make attempts at taking back control.

He's had alotta times where he'd rather make things worst, bc things can ALWAYS be worst, instead if try to make things better with a chance he'll fail.

The best way Tord can do that in his current life is control his son to an unhealthy degree, from who he interacts with, his friends, his interests and even who he'll marry. (a.k.a keeping Tobi from having romantic relationships)

No Tord doesn't physically abuse Tobi, he does how ever hold very high expectations that Tobi exhausts himself to reach. Which is why having his friends to pick him up is so important to have. Also leading to other issues with relationships and venting/coping methods.

I'll be the first to confirm Tord and Anya are NOT a healthy couple, and I've said it before when accused of romantacizing that kinda relationship (im not, im just acknowledging they exist and in a dystopia that's the most likely outcome for two already unstable characters) Tord has control issues and a temper, while Anya is mentally broken and emotionally unstable, both needing therapy for their issues but never receiving it.

To that extent, in my friends version of my au, Delaine or Jenny would have been healthier options to balance out Tord, meanwhile, for Anya, Albert or Jenny would have been much healthier relationships, emotionally and mentally.

Even in Happy Timeline, Tord still isn't a great father but at least makes attempts to be better for his wife and kids.

When I wrote each short fic or anwsered a question, I was showcasing things from Tords P.O.V technically. Tord knows he fucked up and fucked up BADLY, but he doesn't WANT to change. In his own head, he knows he's not a hero uniting the world, he isn't disillusioned, he's just an asshole stuck in a mental state he built himself, and bc he's literally the top of the latter, no one has the power or authority to smack him the fuck out of it.

The only one crazy enough to give him a much needed right hook is dead, and his son is too scared to be a disappointment to try.

In every sense of the word, Tord isnt a good father in this au, and thats to drive home just how messed up the dystopian world is, and how much Tobi needs his friends. And literally the only way he would have been CLOSE to being one is if he never was Red Leader to start with.

I really should put this all in a video someday.

[notfeelingthyaster]

Imagine (based on the incomplete fanfic Son of the Underworld) (Son of Hades! Percy AU) (5/5) or (5/10)

Hey so, this is the last part of PJO - I follow into HOO, so before you read this, check on the masterpost - and read the warnings before proceeding :)) Good reading!

Annabeth comes to him, at the end of his fifteenth birthday party, and shows her Daedalus laptop. There's a document open in it, and it's labeled Achilles' Curse.

Percy doesn't read it - he hates reading, in any way or form or language - but she does, out loud.

"I'll think about it"

They have a year. Most of them, even those who aren't year-rounders, are going back to camp, to draw battle plans and stock on the armory.

He feels kinda selfish - for a whole five seconds before he remembers he'll probably die next summer, so he just shrugs it off - Percy deserves this year.

They all leave to go back to camp. Nico seems conflicted over something - but Perseus doesn't question it, there's enough bad blood between them.

Paola is really cool - and Sally really loves her. It's kind of bizarre at first, to see his Mom dating his teacher - and of a subject he hates - but Paola is calm and well-tempered and she laughs at his stupid ass jokes.

He visits Persephone afterward - and it really feels like he has three moms to fulfill his lack of a father - well, he is absolutely grateful for the women in his life.

Percy isn't truly in good terms with his father. The man doesn't really seem to care much for him as a person - he is much more of a trophy son.

Perseus loathes being a trophy son, but at least he has someone to help with his powers - not something a lot of half-bloods can claim.

So he goes back to school with Rachel, and they pretend everything is normal. He tells her about his quests - all three of them. He thinks she understands him better now.

He opens up to her. Tells her about Annabeth - the adrenaline-fueled kiss - and Rachel stops talking with him for a week.

She apologizes when she comes back. She needed to figure some things up - firstly, the redhead tells him she is probably asexual - and maybe aromantic too, but she is not certain because the internet wasn't really clear about that.

Then Rachel confesses that she is not jealous of him in a romantic way - she is envious of his friendship with Annabeth. Percy is her first genuine friend that really appreciates her.

This is the first grudge Perseus lets go for real before it even takes place - Rachel didn't leave him because of teenage drama, she ignored him out of confusion. Everyone is allowed space - he knows this better than anyone.

They don't kiss anymore. Not because Rachel doesn't like it - no, she is all for it - but because Percy is starting to think kisses should mean something - he is saving them.

They kiss once - when Rachel father calls for the first time this year - not to ask about her, but to tell Rachel he found this amazing all-girls school. To Percy, kisses mean comfort.

They cuddle a lot, though. These past few years of fear have made Percy very touch-starved.

It's sophomore year - and Percy is in five AP classes: Macroeconomics&Microeconomics, Statistics, Calculus AB, Physics 1, and Comparative Government and Politics.

He is planning on taking both AP Computer Science classes, Psychology, Physics 2, and Calculus BC next year; leaving only Electricity&Magnetism, Mechanics, Chemistry, and World History for his senior year.

If he lives, he is working on a tight schedule here. He doesn't know what he wants yet - and if he is in constant danger, it's already pretty lucky he can do high school - but probably something with Math.

Rachel says fourteen AP courses are ambitious - that he'll burn out. But math comes to him easily enough - it's in his blood.

She is also overworking: She is taking AP Environmental Studies, Art History, Drawing, 2-D Art and Design, and English Literature and Composition.

They complete each other. Rachel is planning on taking as many Art, History, and English courses as she can - he is taking as many Physics, Math, and Science as he can handle.

(She is also going to take on Japanese studies for some reason - probably for her GPA, but Perseus just teases her that she is getting too invested in anime)

Perseus doesn't care about languages anymore - the only languages that matter to him are C++ and JavaScript now.

They study together, they take naps together, they climb to the roof together, they flee school to visit Sally together - he is the Pinky to her Brain, the Scooby to her Shaggy, the Lois Lane to her Superman, the Robin to her Batman.

They look like troublemakers - They are honor roll students, but she is always with ripped pants dirty with paint, and he is always full of flowers everywhere, even in his muddy converses - a cliche to kill all cliches.

They're both nerds - he is the classic one, all polo shirts now, the first chair for every number-related class - and she is the artsy one - there's a brush behind her ear and her hair is so messy that half the time it covers her face.

Paola gifts him a pair of cheap frames without lenses once - saying it adds to the aesthetic - he totally uses them.

Persephone just makes him flower-crowns, and giggles when he matches them with his polo shirts.

When winter comes, he goes back to his hoodies and sweaters and gloves - to find out he doesn't miss them a lot.

Rachel introduces him to polaroids - and they look eerily pretty in the winter, her hair looking like blood spilling over the snow - and he loves it.

If he survives - he can feel Rachel slapping him - when he survives, his college credits will be remarkable. The idea of doing SATs makes him want to cry - reading always does - but he'll get somewhere good - he knows it. Perhaps Stanford. Or NYU. Or the dream of his life, MIT.

He is living his life to the fullest - he starts reading comic books, he gets really (really) into Tony Stark once Iron Man 1 comes out (even if he has to kill at least three monsters just to go to the movies), he plants trees and Rachel starts teaching him how to play her ukulele - but half his mind is still on the upcoming war.

Christmas vacation comes - and he goes to visit Camp Half-Blood, before heading back to his mom. It's quite memorable, if only by the fact that Nico Di Angelo freaking betrays him.

He tells Percy to come to the Winter Solstice with him. Most of the campers are not going - the war effort is in an all-time high - but Percy has never gone before. Hades will be there - it'll be great!

Perseus should absolutely be less surprised with the outcome - seeing that Nico is inviting him in Cabin 1, post-dinner, and they don't even stop to talk to Chiron about it.

But Percy goes. Because Percy wants to make amends.

There's no time to really talk to anyone. They travel in Blackjack for the Empire State Building - and it's fine.

They go up to Olympus, Nico shows him everything in the god's land, the temples are a work of art, if not kind of old, and the meeting is kind of okay, even if the gods are squabbling children.

Then the gods leave, and Perseus thinks they're leaving too.

"My father needs a word with you"

Perseus feels the betrayal claw on him. There are no shadows in the white hall, there's no way for him to escape. Nico looks apologetic - Percy wants to clock him in the face.

"He promised to tell me more about my mother" Nico pleads "He will tell me more about where I've come from. Please, Percy."

Nico is cute. He is, for a soon-to-be fourteen-year-old. But his pretty face and exquisite white eyes don't make him any less of a freaking liar. All his handsome male straight friends betray him - it's a worrying pattern now.

He muses for a second that they also all have a crush on Annabeth - gods, the blonde attract the worst types.

It's double-crossing - Percy ends up in an all-white cell that burns his retinas without any weapons because Zeus wants praise in the middle of this freaking war - doesn't matter if a hundred demigods die, if he only has the glory.

Nico ends up with barely any information - Zeus didn't promise anything. The god of the skies is a lying-ass motherfucker - literally.

And Zeus justifies it - He says Perseus is a criminal because he awakened Typhon. So Hephaestus issues a quest so he can save a hundred demigods, he destroys a powerful titan weapon of doom, and he is the villain? Sure, Jan.

Perseus writes this grudge in his heart - that's where trust will take you. To a cell. Betrayed by a "friend". Again.

He flinches when Nico comes into his cell, pins him to the wall and promptly begins to try and strangle him. He wants to melt in the boy's shadow - to go and never give him a chance to explain - but he looks so guilty Percy waits for his repentance.

The son of Zeus saves him, but Perseus is still pissed off. The god of thunder has threatened to kill him off at least two times now, what is to say he wouldn't have killed off Percy for the sake of glory?

He half hopes Zeus had killed him off. The war is close, too close - Nico wouldn't be the Prophecy's child. There would be no child. Olympus would fall - and Percy would have seen it all from his very comfortable couch in Elysium.

He wants Kronos gone - but he kind of wants Olympus to fall with the Titan.

Nico flies him down to the Earth - the elevator is monitored. Zeus has left, like many others - not to bother with the war effort against his main enemy, but to go to the human world mess with people.

Some gods are doing something - He has heard from Annabeth that Artemis is leading the widest hunt ever, with her brother by her side; Hermes (with Hephaestus help) is delivering Celestial Bronze, other metals, old schematics and a whole lot of fuel to Camp Half-Blood every few weeks; Poseidon is fighting his own war, in the ocean; Dionysus is at Camp - and this time, he is really helpful with the battle formations; Demeter is on the Underworld - Chiron seems to think his father is preparing for war, but Percy sorely doubts it.

Percy is taking some people with him to Sally's Christmas dinner. Just Annabeth, Clarisse, Rachel, Connor, Travis, and Charles - people who don't have a present family to celebrate it with.

Grover is coordinating the dryads up in San Francisco with his second cousin, Gleeson Hedge - they are the first to fall if anything goes wrong in Mt. Othrys.

"I think you should stay." He tells Nico.

"You don't trust me anymore." It's not actually a question.

Percy doesn't trust the boy. Not at all - it's the third time he does something shady to achieve his ends based on emotional turmoil. But he is a good person - it's just his father's cursed temper and his grief.

"It's not that. You're needed for the war effort."

Both of them know it's a lie. Percy doesn't care - he deserves to be bitter a little longer.

Percy goes back home. Christmas is amazing - even if Rachel asks him where Nico is because he is talking about making amends with the boy for a while now.

He goes visit Persephone - but she is occupied, so he wanders through the Underworld after Bianca di Angelo - someone he, for some reason, never been able to reach. It's a pointless endeavor by now.

He finds her. Or else, he finds a shadow of her - she is blocked from his view. Bianca doesn't talk to him - they weren't close - but she guides him to a girl.

Her name is Hazel Levesque.

She seems lost - like most ghosts - but something in Percy calls for her. It's the color of her skin and the sparkle in her golden eyes - Hazel remembers him of himself.

He promises to visit more - even though he doesn't think she'll remember it - and leaves to go back to the surface - he will finish the sophomore year.

And Percy does. After a very distressing break, he is doing his best. His grades drop a little in English because he can barely focus - half his mind is on the war and Nico's betrayal and Hazel Levesque's golden eyes.

Miraculously, his GPA doesn't fall - he still is taking a ridiculous amount of AP classes, and barely has time to breathe - dark circles grow under his eyes, and he looks like a mess - but now he is a Junior.

That's why, as soon as the year ends, Rachel takes him on a road trip with Connor. They go all the way to Boston, then Portland, Quebec, Montreal, Ottawa, Syracuse, Baltimore, and Filadelfia, before going back to NY.

They are stopped five times by the police - because Percy is black, and it's Rachel driving the Camaro, because she has a learner's permit and Connor is, somehow, an approved license holder.

They are on a pier, enjoying the view of the beach. They did the last week alone because Connor wanted to go check on one of his cousins - at least, that's what he said, with an over-exaggerated wink that both Percy and Rachel ignored for the sake of their sanity.

She tells him about Clarion Ladies Academy - but that her father is at least mildly happy with her GPA this year, even if he disapproves of her Art focused AP classes. Percy thinks Mr. Dare would love him, with his APs on Economics and Politics, if only he was rich. And white.

This time, when Charles Beckendorf arrives in a Pegasus to tell him it's time, Rachel doesn't kiss him - she justs hugs him and makes him promise to call her.

Perseus doesn't go to the Andromeda Ship - he is needed in Camp. He is useless on the water - but they do need him to improve battle strategy.

Charles Beckendorf is dead. Thalia is the one to tell them - she was in her father's palace helping with a monster under her Lady's orders - he went on the mission alone.

Percy talks briefly with Beckendorf's ghost - is his worst developed power, and he can barely hold the "seance" for more than a few minutes. He does it with only Nico di Angelo for witness - the others are the way to close to the situation.

There's a spy passing information to Luke.

They look at him. Doesn't matter how much he does, he is always the first suspect - he is a son of Hades. He was friends with a lot of people on the other side. He was gone for a year and a half, who knows where.

Perseus wants to say that he has helped to save their asses four times now - that without him in the Labyrinth, they would all be dead right now - and that Charles was basically his older brother.

Then he points out he wasn't even here - he had no idea of any plans of anything - and he told him about the spy, so he is not the freaking spy, go point fingers at each other instead of him.

When they start yelling, he stops them - this is not the time, he was just angry at their accusations. They have to burn Charles shroud. Silena is inconsolable - Percy is not very far from it, but he is not a public crier. The last time he cried in public, Luke was dead on a cliff.

Percy speeds up the line for Elysium to Beckendorf - his brother deserves it.

They read the prophecy together - Perseus already read it last summer, he doesn't even care anymore. They look at him anxiously - no one has forgotten that he abhors most of the gods.

Clarisse and Michael Yew fight, but Lee Fletcher - with a mechanical arm built by Beckendorf himself, still re-learning how to shoot arrows and forever incapable of playing the guitar again (but the keyboard is not ruled out yet) - stops them: They can share the chariot. The war is more important - is not the time for petty fights.

Chiron shows them Typhon - and Perseus has a sliver of hope that they can destroy Kronos and be free of the gods at the same time - It's a horrible hope, because he loves Persephone and some of them are even okay sometimes, but he really wants Zeus to go to Tartarus for at least a century, so Perseus doesn't meet him again in this life.

But he also wants the gods to win, because there's a lot of dead people - innocents, people who have nothing to do with this war.

He dreams of Rachel. Rachel is painting Luke - and Percy wakes up crying, for the boy the gods took away.

Annabeth takes him aside and reminds him of Achilles' Curse. He is off to May Castellan's house - the last place Luke has been - for it's his best and only chance, its what Annie thinks. And she is scarcely wrong.

Perseus hates the gods. They wrecked a family - and for what? May Castellan - forever waiting for a son that will never come back, haunted by visions of his future, plates of burned cookies everywhere.

Perseus doesn't pity her - he rages against the gods, who brought madness upon this woman and then left her to it. Where was Apollo, the god of health? Dionysus, who is supposed to control mental health? Artemis, whose job is to protect women?

Hestia is kind - but she is still a goddess. She could've prevented this - but she hides in her hearth and abstains - and that's enabling. Hestia enables the other gods to do as they please, even when she is the oldest. She says they ignore her - oh well, she ignores them right back! He has no time for the laments of another all-powerful being.

So he goes to his mother and asks for her blessing. Then, just to be sure, he asks Persephone's too.

He thinks about his anchor - where does he want it to be in his body. He doesn't want somewhere in his back - where he can't see it - or in his gut - where anyone can stick a sword. He settles for the bottom of his back - where he can at least touch it and it's well protected by armor - and dives.

Perseus hates water - and he has an uncanny fear of drowning. He feels pain - everywhere, horrible pain.

His vision now doesn't have Annabeth's face - the blonde is his link to the demigod world, Persephone is his link to the Underworld and his mom is his link to childhood - but the person who grounds him is Rachel.

He is stronger. He feel his powers at his fingertips - Perseus feels the Underworld as a whole, and it's overwhelming.

Green flames explode from his hands. Flowers made of shadows curve around his ankles - he has been training since he was 12, but now his body can sustain all of his power. This is all his.

He goes meet with his father - Perseus manipulates him. He tells Hades he'll be the hero, but the god himself can be praised for more than being his father. That he should join the battle against Typhon - That's his chance of proving himself. Also, there's less paperwork for him if there are fewer dead people.

His father is amused with his blatant bribing, but he thinks about it, Percy can tell. In a way or another, he excuses himself and goes back to the surface where he is needed.

Persephone stalls him. She asks him to stay, just for this night. He can go back in the morning - he sleeps, and dreams of Rachel again, drawing in the sand. In greek.

He is scared for her - she is having demigod dreams, but she is mortal. Something is wrong.

Typhon is getting worse - and Kronos draws closer to NYC. It's time - he calls for Blackjack and leaves - Mrs. O'Leary, who has become more or less of a mother to his own hellhound, follows. Persephone promises to convince Hades.

They have about sixty campers able to fight heading for the Empire State Building, and five healers. The ones too young to lift a sword or string a bow stayed back at Camp with Argus - fifteen children between 5 and 9 years old.

Percy knows he looks different - he looks just like his father. He has gained a godly aura - he has no scars anymore, no imperfections. Perseus looms over all of them - he went from 5'7'' to 6'2'' - it's a weird view, from up there. It's still strange when they look at him with a mix of fear and admiration.

Perseus Jackson is officially their leader. He hates Olympus - but he will give his life to defend every single one of his demigods.

The vision Hestia shows him just makes him want to tear this throne room with his bare hands - Luke was a kid. He was a kid - and the gods corrupted him. Thalia was a kid - and the gods took her life, twice. Annabeth is still a kid - they all are - and she is here planning battle strategies.

Annabeth missed an extra year of formal education - while Percy is a Junior, Annabeth barely qualifies for a Freshman - because the gods took this from her too.

Percy rages. The ground of Olympus trembles beneath him - he wants to kill something.

Then Hermes appears - like this whole war is not his fault in the first place, the literal bastard - just to relay a message from Athena that gives them a plan that Annabeth was already putting into works and tells Percy to stay away from Annabeth.

Like she cares. Like Athena has ever, ever, done anything for Annabeth.

Perseus can't punch Athena, so he punches the messager (also, because he freaking guilt trips both of them about Luke). He has nothing to lose - he is going to die by the end of the day anyway, and they need him too much.

He has punched a god before - Ares, in a desert in the middle of Los Angeles - but this time, it's satisfactory. He feels good after it.

Hermes seems strangely resigned - He feels guilty about Luke too, but Perseus doesn't think it's enough. It'll never be enough, not while the gods leave their children to rot in a cabin of rejects and May Castellan bakes cookies for a son that will never come back.

Hermes leaves, ashamed. It's only fair, Perseus thinks. They all should be ashamed.

They see the city asleep - the prophecy is in the works.

Perseus executes their strategy - every cabin is covering a tunnel, with the exception of Dionysus, because Pollux is with the Demeter kids, and the Hecate kids stay behind to use spells to overlook the city. Lincoln Tunnel is getting covered by Ares - who, this time around, is actively participating.

The undetermined who didn't desert are with Hermes - and the minor god's children are divided by specialty - most Hypnos and Morpheus children follow him directly, but the two sons of Iris go with the Apollo Cabin.

Annabeth executes Plan 23, automatons, mounting on Mrs. O'Leary (who has strict orders to take Annabeth anywhere she wants without stopping to play around) - she doesn't need his help with this, and Percy has a tunnel to defend.

That left the rivers uncovered - until Thalia appears, with magical sand money, and made the rivers cooperate.

The hunters join the Aphrodite kids - who are half a dozen children between 11 and 19 - the oldest being Silena Beauregard, who uses a crossbow that looks exactly like her immortal half-brother's one.

His bridge is completely covered on skeletons - but no monster comes, even if he hears explosions. He leaves an English Lieutenant from the Battle of Yorktown in command of the bridge - with Tyene, the oldest daughter of Morpheus, to be in alert and don't let Clovis sleep through the battle. Because he did it before - and while it is funny, it can't happen right now.

Perseus mounts Blackjack - and go see where the noise is coming from. It's the Williamsburg Bridge - where are most of Apollo's Cabin.

They fight - and Percy almost cries when he sees Luke, who is not Luke anymore. Luke, who is a puppet controlled by Kronos.

Perseus kills the Minotaur and the weight of his stone spikes collapse the bridge - and Michael Yew dies. This time around, the bridge falls silently into shadows, and he doesn't bother about searching for the corpse - he saw the boy falling, and his screams will haunt all of them, forever.

This time around, Annabeth is not there to protect him - Ethan also doesn't try to kill him. The Son of Nemesis doesn't leave Kronos side for a second - but there's regret in his eyes.

After the bloodlust is gone, Perseus collapses - Will has to bride carry him back. Overuse of his powers - he summoned skeletons and produced shadows, melted enemy swords (with the bonus of incapacitating them without killing), and sprouted stone spikes everywhere - there's even a vine or ten that he used to hold his friends from falling.

Perseus doesn't sleep quickly enough to not hear the yell of anguish that comes from Lee Fletcher - the pain of losing a brother and not being able to fight beside him.

But he does sleep - and he dreams. He dreams of Hades killing Maria Di Angelo, not Hera, like Zeus told Nico. He dreams of Zeus cursing the Oracle - and he seethes, because he also sees what happened to May Castellan.

He keeps getting angrier and angrier at the gods - it's building inside of him. But his friends are still here, still fragile. He can't let them suffer more.

Perseus wakes up, checks on everyone - most everyone is either injured and/or exhausted, but he checks on every camper. He knows all of their names, their ages, their cabins. - and promises to sit up to talk with Thalia and Nico - war makes him prone to peace - and promptly goes back to sleep.

He dreams of Rachel. He wants to scream for her not to come: but she'll anyway.

Perseus dreams of a boy. He is his age - maybe a little younger. His hair is blonde and his skin is whiter - but Percy glances at his eyes, and there are waves in them.

There's a girl by his side - she is familiar to Percy, somehow. They're climbing a mountain.

The dream ends and Percy can't make heads or tails of it. He asks Thalia if she has a brother, but she says that she doesn't, looking wistful.

Prometheus is tempting - but he knows there's no Luke anymore, there's only Kronos. And the gods are horrible, vile and immature - but they never killed any of Percy's friends. Some of them died for the gods - but never by their hands, so for now, Perseus would toe the line.

He does want to punch Hermes again. He takes the Pythos - if everything goes wrong, he will not hesitate in going down for the sake of his friends - but there have been six deaths, and it's enough.

"Was it worth it?" He asks Ethan.

"Alabaster is alive" And it's all the answer Percy needs.

He dreams of Ethan and Alabaster. Alabaster is alive, yes, but he is missing half a leg - courtesy of Clarisse herself. Luke - Kronos - is indifferent, and Ethan curses the daughter of Ares - "The sword that took from us will take from you"

He contains Hyperion with his shadows. Then he helps Grover (who was half asleep, because of Morpheus) to make the Titan into a tree. It's a pomegranate tree - then he sets hellish fire to it and sacrifices it to Hades and Persephone.

A pig is in the sky - this time around, Annabeth and her frightening army of automatons kill it with Nico's help.

Perseus laughs - because Annabeth has about two hundred automatons under her command, Martin Luther King and Alexander Hamilton leading the charge with a giant bull being ridden by the Mad Hatter behind them.

It's weird to see historic figures Percy admires - like Jane Bolin, Sylvia Mendez, or Abraham Lincoln - fighting alongside people he downright despises - Thomas Jefferson and the goatfucker, herpes-ridden, Colombus. His Comparative Government teacher would have a field day.

Annabeth and Nico's pair up is amazing - They fight alongside like they have been doing it all life.

Nico is a force of nature, flying and commanding the winds to do his bidding - His eyes shine in the midst of the stormy clouds. His specialty is weather manipulation - he hasn't had much success with direct energy or electric discharges.

Annabeth has her mother's tenacity for war - and her clever mind for strategies. It's clear in her eyes - she is racking the weaker points of the Clazmonian Sow in her mind and destroying it. The automatons hold the pig in place - and she makes bacon of it.

Hercules couldn't do it. Nico and Annabeth can, because they have the power and the mind.

Perseus is still fighting off monsters - but they're too widespread, so they retreat to the doors of the Empire State Building.

Percy does a mental tally: of sixty-two campers, six are confirmed dead, twenty are injured and nine are out of commission on exhaustion. There should be 27 orange shirts here - but there's only twenty.

Percy wonders if the seven missing are injured, or dead, or under a pile of rubble somewhere with no one to help them. Is there someone being slowly eaten by monsters? Is there someone alone and injured and abandoned? He doesn't know.

He prays that those seven deserted them - at least that means they probably are alive and well.

Perseus looks at Phoebe's grief-stricken face, and he knows it's not probable - she had almost three dozen hunters with her, and now there's barely fifteen still fighting, Thalia nowhere to be seen.

They prepare for their last standing - Percy keeps conjuring skeletons, but they're no match for the sheer strength of the hyperborean giants. Nico is shoulder to shoulder with the Stoll brothers against a group of telkhines - Clarisse is bringing down a whole giant by herself.

After the Party Ponies save them - Chiron leads the charge against his own father, and Perseus is so proud of his mentor he can't even put in words how much - he goes to sleep. Fighting gets him tired quickly, and they'll come back.

He dreams of Dionysus. Perseus is not fond of any god who is not Persephone, but Dionysus is mostly okay sometimes. He seems to care about his children.

Perseus couldn't care less about the Western Civilization - but he'll care for Pollux. It's one of his demigods, after all, and Underworld people are possessive of theirs (i.e. Hades and Persephone).

He dreams of Thalia, in her father's palace, begging Poseidon to leave the underwater war and help with the invasion - His wife is none too happy with the presence of his immortal bastard daughter.

He wakes up to Rachel's helicopter falling - how is Rachel even awake, is a mistery.

The improbable pair Nico and Annabeth strike again: The girl knows how to fly helicopters, and the boy can fly himself. They save the redhead and the pilot - everything is fine.

"You're not the hero"

"Why did you risk yourself to tell me something I already know?"

Rachel doesn't explain - she can't. But she has a vision that says that he is not the hero. The hero of what? Perseus has no idea. But there's no way any of his cousins is dying for this stupid prophecy.

Suddenly, there's a drakon there. Rachel has another prophecy - Perseus fears she will walk the path that led May Castellan to destruction - that only a child of Ares will be able to kill it.

Bad news: All children of Ares are otherwise out of battle.

Clarisse is resting after a nasty concussion - and her brothers and Apollo's children are fighting yet again because Lee Fletcher is in no condition to stop them and Michael Yew is dead. Ares' side refuses to fight without the chariot - which Cabin 7 has hidden somewhere.

The best they can do is fend the drakon off until a miracle occurs. And it does: Clarisse, in full armor, manages to lead her brothers into battle.

Clarisse is dead. Something shatters inside of Perseus - and he leaves the drakon for the Ares' children to solve - he can't kill it anyway - and starts to vaporize the army behind it.

He is so caught up in bloodlust, that he almost misses Clarisse slaying a dragon. Clarisse, who has no armor. Clarisse, who is alive.

Ethan's curse rang true - Clarisse's weapon took something from her.

Silena is a traitor. She is also dead - which makes her a martyr, and probably going to reunite with her boyfriend in Elysium.

He remembers how easy is to fall for Luke's charm - he was - is - still in love with the guy. Percy thought the son of Hermes could do no wrong - and he wonders how much of his rage against the gods sprout from his influence.

Something evil inside of Perseus's mind tells him she deserved it. It tells Perseus that better her than Clarisse - but he shuts it down, and concentrates on his shining red friends.

He hates Ares. But he might just have an okay side if he can produce such a magnificent daughter.

Silena is the Patroclus to Clarisse's Achilles, and the Drakon is Hector - and the daughter of Ares is sure to parade its dead body.

It's the first time they feel like they are winning. It doesn't last - but as he hugs Clarisse tightly, he thinks he might cry of relief.

Clarisse looks tough - but she is a wonderful human being. She loves Silena with her whole heart - even more than she loves Chris, her best friend. Silena might've been in love with Charles - but she and Clarisse? They are soulmates.

The damned Pythos is following Perseus - and he is done with it. He knows where hope will survive best. Rachel wants him to give it to Hestia - but he owns the fire goddess nothing.

She has never interfered, not once, to help the dozens of demigods with no family that is abandoned in Cabin 11, and he won't forgive her for it.

He sacrifices hope to Persephone because that's what spring is. Spring is the hope of a new life. Maybe, Perseus thinks, it'll convince his father to come.

They go down to make their final stand against the forces of Kronos. There's not a lot of them - but they're not getting through those doors.

Well, his father doesn't come. But Poseidon does, with his whole army, Tyson and Thalia behind him, and the scales seem to turn.

And then Kronos cuts the barrier. Perseus can see his Mom (why is his Mom here with a handgun?!) and Poseidon fighting against the monsters under the eyes of extremely confused mortals.

Some are trying to break the barrier - but it's futile. Kronos has corraled them like sheep for the slaughter.

It's just him, Grover, Annabeth and Nico, fighting against Kronos vanguard - which is big, but not as strong as they are.

Kronos passes him without resistance - Ethan follows, but there's anger in his eyes - not for Percy, but for the monster he is leashed to. Alabaster is not there.

As soon as Kronos powers stop working on them, the four follow the titan - and some things never change, no matter the universe.

This time, it's Nico who falls because of Hera - it's her curse over all of her husband's bastards.

Ethan takes one look at Perseus, and they don't even need to fight. They have been friends for longer than they have been enemies - and they both loathe the gods, but Kronos is as much of an all-powerful controller being as any of the Olympians.

They battle against Kronos - Perseus has only his ax against his scyther - a true Underworld fight.

Ethan dies. And Perseus bloodlust consumes him - it clouds his eyes and he can only keep fighting.

"If... if we've had cabins... and they had thrones"

It's true, and more than ever, Perseus wishes Kronos wasn't such a bastard. He wouldn't bother killing the gods - but the titan is a way worse option.

"LUKE, PLEASE" It's Annabeth. He doesn't have her faith - she didn't saw his transformation. But he tries anyway because he loves Luke just as much as he hates Kronos.

"Luke, remember our summer" But his words are caught up in his throat when the titan throws him against the wall.

But the amalgamation of his friend and an all-powerful being looks confused, so props for his genius best friend.

Kronos shows them a rainbow message of Typhon - and that's where Perseus it's pretty sure he starts liking his father.

Because the Lord of the Dead opens up the earth and gets out in a black chariot guided by skeletal horses like a king. By his right side, is Persephone, in armor battle as a queen should be. By his left, is Demeter, who looks every single bit like the matron she is supposed to be.

Behind him, a hundred thousand dead roars. Charon is mounting Cerberus - and literal hell is unleashed upon the Father of Monsters.

The gods strike down Typhon, sending him back to be locked away - this time, in the depths of Tartarus instead of Mount Etna.

Kronos gets mad. Utterly, undoubtedly mad. He talks about burning Luke's body. Then he hurts Annabeth and breaks two promises in one fell swoop.

"Luke.... remember family" It's what Annabeth utters, but Perseus, already certain of their own demise, is crying now.

"That summer Luke, you promised to never hurt her again. You remember it? YOU PROMISED LUKE!!"

Annabeth's promise was already broken - he had hurt her, all those years ago, in Mt. Othrys. But the promise he made to Percy - that he would never hurt her again - is new and broken, in the river Styx no less.

Luke regains his own body, for a minute, and Perseus runs to him like a man in a desert with no water.

"Please, please tell me there's a way to undo this, Luke, please, please"

"There isn't one, Percy" And it's the first time he hears Luke call him Percy, Percy and not Perseus, in his own voice, in two years. Percy cries.

"We... we don't have much time, hellebore. Give me Annabeth's dagger. Before he... before he takes back"

Luke calls him hellebore and it makes him start crying all over again. He gives him the dagger - and Luke kills himself, taking Kronos out with him.

Luke doesn't need to ask if Percy has ever loved him - Percy kept loving Luke, one-sided as it was, even when Kronos was there.

He still crying over Luke's body when the gods arrive. Luke is dead. Ethan is dead. Silena is dead. Michael Yew is dead. Charles is dead.

He lost three of his best friends in two days. Ethan is dead. Luke is dead. Luke is dead.

Perseus can't stop crying. They take Luke's body away - but he can't stop. Annabeth explains what happened to the gods - most of it, anyway. Apollo says he is in shock - his father says he is a hero.

Perseus doesn't feel like a hero. Was this all worth it? Was it worth it the pain and the death and the suffering?

Persephone touches him - and he has no tears to cry anymore. She can't hug him here, but she'll do so later.

He stares at the walls, listening to his friends being awarded - compensated by their siblings and friends' deaths - with a blank stare. Perseus wants his mom.

They call for him. He raised his head but doesn't bother getting up. He just saved their asses - for the fifth time in a roll. He deserves to grieve.

They offer him immortality. A place between the gods.

He laughs. Zeus looks murderous, but he can't stop laughing.

"My apologies, but I have to refuse," he says. But in his mind, he is thinking about how could they even think he might want to sit between them and be an all-powerful being, be another god ignoring his children and messing with mortal lives while thousands die for him.

"Promise me, on the river Styx, that you'll give me the wish that I want."

They promise him, that if it's within their capabilities, they shall grant him his wish.

"I wish for every child at the age of twelve to be claimed. I wish for cabins in Camp Half-Blood, for every single minor god, and my own father. I wish for Calypso to be free, and to the demigods from the opposite side of this war to be given amnesty. It's not their fault. It's not any of our faults."

"You dare to-" Zeus begins, but Percy is really tired of Zeus.

"We fought your war, we won your battles. We, the unclaimed and rejected stowaways of Cabin 11. We, the children of minor and Underworld gods. We deserve respect. Just like my father deserves a throne, just like the minor gods deserve justice."

"Don't you fear us?" Athena asks, something weird shining in her eyes.

"I thought I would be dead today. At least if I die now, I'm dying for something I believe in."

It stays unsaid that he doesn't believe in them. The other demigods look at him worried - but he is not afraid of the gods.

They grant his wish. Some of them aren't happy with it, but they have to do it. He meets Calypso at the front gates of Olympus - and her smile can brighten the pits of Tartarus. He sees Alabaster talking with Lou Ellen - they are both crying.

He thinks it's the end - it's not. Thalia tells him Rachel left for Camp in her Pegasus - and his father has lift the curse, the Prophecy is gone, but he fears for his best friend.

Perseus is too tired for shadow travel - he does it anyway. He flickers, but anyway, he is too late.

It works. Rachel - his best friend - is the new Oracle. Someone jokes they can't be together anymore and Rachel lifts an eyebrow.

"We never were. Didn't you see the last few hours?" Well, he did out himself. Mostly - they might say it's just friendship, and he will hate the way they twist it. Luke wasn't a villain, and Perseus isn't a pure hero with a heart of gold.

Perseus is healing from lost love - and Annabeth is too. His crush on her was only a crush, he thinks - She is his best friend first and foremost. They cry together at the bonfire that burns away the shrouds of 43 demigods - from both sides - and 16 hunters of Artemis. Their souls all rest in Elysium now.

Alabaster comes back to Camp and helps his siblings to build the new Cabin for Hecate, full of spelled blocks and magic chimneys. Clovis and Tyene have their hands full with their own cabins - it doesn't help they keep getting sidetracked with naps.

Somehow, Nico, Thalia, and his bond over helping construct Cabin 13 - They are both way too invested in the goth vibe, mostly because Cabin 1 looks like a temple, and Cabin 3 looks like a beach cabin. And both of them are so over it.

Perseus doesn't want a goth cabin - he is fighting against the aesthetic for years - but sometimes, there are no arguments. His Cabin is made of black marble, and there are skulls everywhere, with torches shining with green fire. Outside, at least. Inside, it looks like Persephone's garden, with input from the queen herself. It's ready just shy of the end of summer vacation.

Rachel tells the next Great Prophecy. Perseus isn't such a positive person to think it won't affect him - he hopes at least it'll wait until he is done with High School.

That night, he dreams of the blonde boy again - it's his first night without nightmares since the battle. He has a scar in his lip, and his green eyes pierce Percy's soul. Perseus wonders if they'll ever meet, wonders if this boy is one of the Seven of the Prophecy.

But alas, Perseus lets it go. The summer is over - he is sixteen, somehow. He is alive and going to go back to his mortal life and his junior year, and grief. Not everything is fine - but eventually, it will be.

It's not the end. Not yet.

[violetromanoff-banner]

Violet Romanoff-Banner ch 1

Ships: Brutasha, Peter Parker X OC

TW: cursing

Based on: https://clichefangoddess.tumblr.com/post/182565158922/child-of-infamous-international-spy-natasha

Tagging @clichefangoddess bc she helped by reading it first (^‿^✿)

So uh, this is it:

Natasha Romanoff was 24 when she learnt she was pregnant with her daughter. It had come completely unexpected to both her and Dr. Bruce Banner, who she knew was the father. But she knew she was keeping her daughter, regardless of what anyone said. They could tell her she wasn't going to be a good mom or that she's “just not one of those maternal people”, but she didn't have to listen, so she'd curse out anyone who gave her crap and ignore them.

She knew Bruce was scared. Hell deep down, very deep down, she was scared too. So not long before the baby came she went up to him and told him straight, "Right Bruce, I can tell you're scared about this, but you don't have to stay here for this baby. I can handle her alone if I have to, but I need to know before she comes." She had her arms crossed. She was taking no shit at this point. Her top priorities were her and her daughter.

Bruce responded by pulling her into a quick kiss. He pulled away briefly to promise, "Nat, I'm here for you and our daughter always." And of course he had intended to keep that promise. But sometimes your raging alter-ego blasts you into space in a blind rage and keeps you there for years and it gets difficult to keep up your promises.

So Natasha was left to raise her daughter with only the help of Uncle Tony and Uncle Steve since Thor had disappeared into space too.

Within weeks of the little girl, Violet, being born it was obvious the radiation from her father's genetics had been passed down to her.

Tony was the first to notice. "Uhhh Nat! Either your kid has inherited her dad's temper issues or she's sick as hell!"

After hearing that Natasha had sprinted into the room, because she was eager to try and get back on her feet. "Oh Violet," Natasha had smiled softly. She was being more emotional than Tony had ever seen her as she picked up her daughter, carefully cradling her. It stung that her daughter was so much like the man she'd fallen in love with already. Tears rolled down her face and Tony looked more confused then ever because what the fuck? Natasha Romanoff, spy, ex assassin is crying. In front of him. Because her child has inherited traits of her lost boyfriend.

A seven year old Violet ran through the tower to find her mom, covered in mud with grass and twigs in her hair. When she got to her mom's room, she heard the quiet sniffles and her mom's voice, quiet and tearful saying, "Bruce, I need you to come back. Your daughter needs to see you, please..."

Violet hesitated to knock so instead went to her Uncle Steve, "Uncle Stevie?" She said and sat on a bench beside Steve as he finished attacking a punchbag and sat beside her, ruffling her hair.

"Yeah Vi?"

"Who's Bruce?" Violet couldn't help her obliviousness. All she knew was her Mom was upset and it was all because of this Bruce guy.

Of course Steve was taken aback by this, he didn't expect Violet to even know who Bruce was. After all, he left when she was only little. "He's a special guy to your mom." He said quietly. A sad expression crossed his face, his eyebrows knitting together.

"She was speaking to him and crying, did he do something wrong?" Violet asked, her blue eyes shining with curiosity. She didn't know anything about him, but she wanted to. She wanted to generally just know anything she could.

"He-well," Steve tried to figure out what to say before he said, "Well it's your Mom's story to tell kid," He shook his head and ruffled her hair, "Now go get cleaned up, ok kiddo?"

Violet nodded and went to get cleaned up.

Over the years Natasha and her daughter had made memories. Violet may not have always got along with her family, but she loved them all and they'd tried to give her the best life she could have.

When Violet turned 16, her father had just come back into her life, although at first she didn't know it. All she knew about Dr. Banner was he was someone special to her mom, he had her breathtaking anger issues and that he seemed to leave a gap in the Avengers. So, of course the first time she met him she was curious to know anything else about him.

Unfortunately she met him in a way that made her want to punch him.

"Ms. Romanoff?" F.R.I.D.A.Y.s voice rang out over the gyms speakers and Natasha paused, mid-way through a long training session of which she was releasing all of her rage onto a punchbag, a strategy she'd learnt from Steve.

"Yes F.R.I.D.A.Y?" She asked breathlessly, ripping the boxing gloves off her hands.

"There's a guest waiting for you in the doorway of the tower." F.R.I.D.A.Y. informed her.

Natasha never really had any guests, so she was obviously suspicious. She slips her pocket knife into the pocket of her shorts and walked down to the doorway.

She froze when she saw Bruce there. He was skinnier than when she last saw him, his shirt was ripped and baggy. "Nat..." He said softly, looking at her with his big brown eyes clouding with tears. He was biting his lip.

"Bruce." She said, unsure what to say. After all, what do you say to your boyfriend who's been gone for years and left you to raise your daughter because his alter ego blasted himself into space using a jet.

"Nat....Nat I'm so sorry for-for everything, for disappearing, for being gone so long, for just everything..." His voice trailed off and Natasha stepped a little closer, grabbing one of Bruce's hands.

"Where were you? Why-?" Natasha cut herself off, taking a deep shaky breath, "Why did you leave me? Why did you leave us...? You promised..."

"I was in space, stuck as the other guy and when I came back Thor brought me here. I-I missed you guys so so much and I understand-I understand if you don't want me back. I understand if none of you guys want me back." He said quietly, a few tears falling down his cheeks.

Natasha stepped closer, putting her hand on Bruce's cheek and wiping his tears with her thumb gently, "I love you, Bruce, and I'm so glad that you're back." She kissed Bruce quickly.

"Uh Mom? Who is that?" Violet asked, looking at her father.

Natasha pulled away at once, "Violet this is-uh-this is Dr. Bruce Banner-"

Violet cut her off, "Why were you kissing my mom?"

Bruce looked flustered, his cheeks were bright red as he bit the edge of his lip. His voice came out in a quiet, scared whisper, "Is that-? Is that her?" He asked nervously.

"Yeah that's her, that's Violet." Natasha said softly.

Violet's eyebrows knitted together as she frowned, confused, "What's going on here?" She asked, a flicker of green appearing in her blue eyes, because she was scared. Scared of who that guy was. Scared he was going to replace her father, because although her father had not been in her life, he held a special place in her heart still as she was always told be her mom that her father was the "bravest guy she ever knew" and that he always fought for her mom. She didn't want that replaced by the guy who got back and instantly kissed her mom.

Bruce saw the green in her eyes and panicked, luckily Natasha saw it too, "Nat, Nat can she-does she-?" He went into panicked ramblings trying to ask if she could "Hulk-out" too.

"Yep," Nat cut him off, stepping closer to Violet, "Vi, it's ok, ok?" Violet nodded and Natasha said, "Violet this is Dr. Bruce Banner, he's your dad."

With that last statement Violet froze, after all, what do you say to your dad who left when you were a little kid and has never had any contact with you? She was shaking, with tears threatening to spill from her dark green eyes. "I-I'm going for a walk," Violet said, walking past them and out of the tower. She wiped the tears from her eyes and walked to...well she wasn't really sure yet, so she just walked, trying to process all of the information, the dots she should've connected. She realised that she should've caught on sooner, cursing at herself for not realising. Suddenly, a cloth went over her mouth and nose, an arm wrapped around her to stop her from falling as her whole world went black.