#and then they do. of course. and cas feels strong again and sam feels useful again but then they’re both empty. again. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

caplanbuckybarnes · 1 month ago

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Celestial Stars & Candy Apple Eyes (Castiel) (Dean)

Request: CanI request a Dean x Reader x Castiel (no Destiel) fic? Reader has been hunting with Sam and Dean for a long time (like since the events of early S1) and met Cas when Dean, Bobby and her went to the Barn (S4 E1). She had a Crush on Dean since the beginning and they kissed right before he died (end of S3) but they never talked about that again after he came back. And when she met Cas, she instantly felt a strong connection and also developed a Crush on him. So now she is conflicted, thinking both dont like her like that (Since Cas is an Angel and Dean doesn't talk about the kiss). The Fic could be right around S6, so Dean was with Lisa for a year which made Reader even more convinced that Dean didnt like her. And Cas hadn't contacted her in a while. But Dean, Sam and Reader started hunting again and called Cas a few times. During their interactions, the two boys realize how they feel and get jealous of the other for being close to Reader (or something like calling her petnames). Idk if all of that makes sense but thats the general Idea I had^^" @storytellers-randomshortstorys

A/N: you'd requested this back in April 2024, and I couldn't for the life of me think of what to do with it. SOrry for the lateness!

Summary: You're torn between man & angel, and cannot handle the jealousy anymore.

WC: 995

Warnings: jealousy, reader loves both dean & Castiel, pining

Read on ao3!

The Impala’s engine hummed a low, steady rhythm as the three of you drove through the dark backroads of Ohio. You were wedged in the backseat, your head resting against the window. Dean was behind the wheel, Sam in the passenger seat flipping through a case file.

The silence wasn’t awkward, but it wasn’t entirely comfortable either. You felt it keenly, especially every time you glanced at Dean. Things had been weird since he came back from Hell. Not outright bad, just... unspoken. That kiss before his deal ran out was a moment you couldn’t forget. But he never brought it up after he returned, especially not with Lisa in the picture for a whole year.

And Cas—well, Cas was another layer of confusion entirely. He wasn’t here often, but when he was, you couldn’t help but feel the pull toward him. The two of you had this... connection. Like you understood each other without needing to say much. He wasn’t human, but he made you feel seen in ways no one else did.

“You good back there?” Dean’s voice cut through your thoughts, rough but edged with concern.

“Yeah,” you lied, offering a small smile.

Sam looked back at you over his shoulder. “We should call Cas for this. If that witch really managed to pull off a binding spell like this, we’ll need more firepower.”

Dean grunted in reluctant agreement. “Fine, but he better not be off doing Heaven’s dirty work again.”

You rolled your eyes but stayed quiet. Dean always acted like he didn’t trust Cas, but you knew better. He was just too stubborn to admit he cared about the angel.

Later, at the motel, you all regrouped in the cramped room. Dean called Cas, who appeared with the usual flutter of wings.

“Hello,” Cas said, his gravelly voice sending an involuntary shiver down your spine. His eyes found yours immediately, lingering a beat longer than you expected. “Y/N.”

“Cas,” you replied, unable to stop the smile tugging at your lips.

Dean huffed. “Yeah, yeah, great reunion. You got anything for us, Feathers?”

Cas ignored the jab and got right to work explaining the spell you’d be facing. But as the conversation went on, you noticed something odd. Dean kept glaring at Cas every time the angel spoke directly to you, and Cas—well, he wasn’t much for subtlety. Every time Dean called you sweetheart or kiddo, Cas’s jaw tightened just slightly.

Sam noticed too, of course. He wasn’t oblivious. He shot you a look that said, You seeing this?

You were trying not to.

By the time you were setting up for the hunt that night, the tension was palpable. Dean was unusually snippy, barking orders with more edge than usual. Cas stayed unnervingly silent, only breaking it to answer your questions.

At one point, you felt Dean’s hand on your shoulder as he guided you to a safer position near the abandoned barn. His fingers lingered longer than they should have, and when you looked up at him, his green eyes softened. “Be careful, okay?” he murmured.

Your heart twisted. “I always am.”

From a few feet away, Cas’s eyes bore into the scene. He stepped closer as Dean walked away, his presence like a calm yet electric storm.

“Dean seems... protective of you,” Cas remarked, his voice low.

You shrugged, unsure how to respond. “It’s just Dean being Dean.”

Cas tilted his head, studying you in that way that always made you feel like he was looking straight through to your soul. “I don’t believe that’s all it is. He cares for you. Greatly.”

You froze. “What?”

He stepped closer, his gaze intense but not unkind. “And you care for him. But you also...” His voice faltered, rare for him. “You also care for me.”

Your throat felt dry. “Cas, I—”

Before you could finish, a loud crash from the barn interrupted, followed by Dean shouting for backup. You cursed under your breath and ran toward the noise, Cas right on your heels.

The fight with the witch was chaotic, but you managed to come out mostly unscathed. By the time it was over, the adrenaline had your heart racing.

Dean was pacing, muttering curses under his breath. When he saw you, he rushed over, his hands gripping your arms as he scanned for injuries. “You okay?”

“Yeah, Dean, I’m fine.”

“You sure? Because you scared the hell out of me back there.”

You opened your mouth to respond, but Cas’s voice cut in. “She handled herself well. She always does.”

Dean turned to glare at Cas, his grip on you tightening slightly. “Yeah, I know that, angel. But she’s not bulletproof, is she?”

“And you think I don’t know that?” Cas shot back, stepping closer.

You stepped between them, exasperated. “Guys, seriously? This is not the time.”

They both looked at you, their frustration melting into something softer. Something vulnerable.

Dean sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Look, Y/N. I—I care about you, okay? More than I should, probably. And I know I’ve been a dick about it, but—”

Cas interrupted, his voice calm but firm. “Dean, stop. She doesn’t need your guilt. She needs to know the truth.”

Dean glared at him, but Cas ignored it, turning his full attention to you. “Y/N, I’ve felt this connection with you since the moment we met. I don’t fully understand it, but I know it’s real. And I know you feel it too.”

Your breath hitched. This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t be happening.

“Y/N,” Dean said softly, stepping closer. “I don’t want to screw this up. I care about you. A lot.”

You stared at them, your heart pounding as you tried to process their words.

“I... I need time,” you finally said, your voice trembling. “I care about both of you, but I can’t just... choose like this.”

They both nodded, reluctantly stepping back. The hunt was over, but the battle in your heart had just begun.

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narrynukezankielover · 5 months ago

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At this point in Ep 23 (Do You Believe In Miracles) I hate The Metatron because he tried to get the angels to not just go against Cas but to think that Cas is the bad guy and that he’s the hero but now he’s using Cas and Deans love for each other against them. He knew Dean was hesitating and that by telling Dean that Cas and Gadriel were in jail and their plan didn’t work was going to make Dean pissed off enough to attack him which he did.

At first I thought this look was because The Metatron just said this was all for Dean Winchester. You drape yourself in the flag of heaven but ultimately it was all for one man. I thought Cas was shy from The Metatron saying out load his feelings for Dean but then it clicked into my head he’s looking at the speaker. Cas is embarrassed that his feelings for Dean just got announced over the speaker and all the angels heard it.

I’m guessing since Dean was still alive when The Metatron left that he knew if he told Cas that Dean was dead (which he wasn’t at this point) that Cas would be in shock (which clearly he was) and he wouldn’t be able to think straight.

I love this scene in season 10 ep 1. Cas said I miss him to Sam and Sams reaction was just yeah. This makes me wonder how many times in the four months that Dean was gone has Cas said that to Sam. They both miss Dean but in different ways. Cas misses him like a boyfriend. He misses protecting each other, caring for each other, their special moments. Sam misses Dean like a brother. He wants Dean to not be hurt or to hurt anyone else.

At the end of this scene Cas looks soooo depressed and lost. I’m actually about halfway through season 10 and I know Cas said that angels can find people that pray to them, they can feel pinning or if someone wants to tell them something. This makes sense for this scene because not only can Cas not find Dean but he can’t feel him either. In the next episode when Sam tells him that Dean is a demon it’s like it clicks into Cas head that’s why I couldn’t feel him. He’s depressed that Dean is gone, that he probably for the first time since they met he can’t feel Dean, his stolen grace is making him sick, he’s not as strong as he was and Sam doesn’t want his help. He feels useless. Which is why I think he went with Hannah so quickly. She wanted his help and needed his help.

The other thing is I thought at first it was weird that Cas isn’t staying at the bunker but I think he didn’t feel comfortable staying there without Dean and Sam probably didn’t ask him to. I know Cas hasn’t told Sam how sick he actually is and maybe if Sam knew that he would ask him to stay at the bunker but he doesn’t.

I’m just adding this because I asked for more shirtless Cas scenes and I got it.

Also Hannah irritates me though. She constantly flirts with Cas, telling him that Dean and Sam are bad influences on him and wondering why Sam would ask for Cas help when he’s as sick as he is. She was the one that told Cas not to loose it over one man and she heard what The Metatron said over the speakers so she knows Cas loves Dean but she’s choosing to ignore it. Yes Sam asked for Cas help which I think he would do even if he knew how sick Cas is because he knows how bad Cas wants Dean back.

In ep 3 (Soul Survivor) of course Cas would control Dean with a hug. I love it.

When Sam was putting the needle of blood in Deans arm Cas couldn’t even watch. Cas is looking to the side. He can’t handle watching Dean having to go through this.

Then in the second picture Cas is finally happy again to have Dean as a human. This is adorable.

Dean has been human for a few minutes and he’s already flirting with Cas. Telling him he looks good.

Dean tells Cas I’m happy you’re here man. To me this feels like Dean is still feeling guilty for telling Cas to leave the bunker when he was human (even though that wasn’t Deans fault and Cas understands that) and he’s happy that when he needed Cas Cas was there for him.

This is just another gay scene that Dean is a part of. The guy told Dean to get on his knees and Dean said I’m flattered.

#castiel #cockles #dean x castiel #destiel #deancas

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noxemma · 4 months ago

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Chapter 5 (finally) for my Hot Summer Art challenge fic

Time to wrap up the case so they can get on with the vacation!

Tags, Rating, Word Count, AO3 link, etc. at the bottom

Beside Your Side

Fic Summary: Dean convinces Sam to look into a potential case where people are going missing from a New Jersey beach town. Of course, they have to bring Cas and Eileen along, just in case it's not a monster. Dean is excited to get the case over quickly and enjoy a well-earned vacation with the people he loves the most. Nothing ever seems to go the way Dean plans it though, and this case is no exception.

Chapter 5: Monsters in Unexpected Places

Dean

“No, no, no!” Dean hisses, shifting himself off Cas’ chest so he can reach the floor where he’s pretty sure he tossed his phone before falling into bed.

Dammit! Where did I put it? Dean flails his hand wildly, desperate to silence the incessant buzzing that’s threatening to ruin his perfect evening. His fingers finally close around his phone, his very dead phone. Shit, it must be coming from Cas’!

Dean shimmies back toward the middle of the bed, props himself up on his hand, and is just reaching across the sleeping angel’s body to silence the phone that's responsibly plugged in on the nightstand when blue eyes flash open and fixate on him. Dean freezes, face no more than a few inches away.

“Dean,” Cas’ murmurs happily, voice barely more than a rumble as his hand automatically finds the small of Dean’s back. The combination of the husky word, shining blue eyes, and the warm hand pressing into him send shockwaves through Dean’s body and blood racing toward his dick.

Dean is too shocked to even attempt to hide his arousal. Not that he could even if he tried since Cas tightens his grip on Dean’s back, closing the slight distance that had remained between their lower halves. Dean feels his erection press into Cas hip and barely manages to stifle a moan, his nerve endings sparking with long awaited pleasure. He opens his mouth to explain or apologize or beg but he's too transfixed by the way Cas’ lip part ever so slightly and his eyes go wide. He forgets about the ringing phone, the case, everything. His whole world condenses to searching blue eyes and the intense urge to lower his head and finally find out what Cas’ lips taste like.

“Cas?” The plea is more breath than sound and Dean darts his eyes up to meet Cas’. Cas doesn’t reply, just tilts his head slightly, his breath nearly as ragged as Dean’s, his eyes zeroed in on the way Dean licks his lips before trying again. “I- Can we-? Would you mind if I-?”

“Dean!”

The door to their room bursts open as Sam charges in. Dean tumbles backward toward “his” side of the bed and tries to pretend he wasn’t just about to kiss his best friend. The act would be easier to maintain if Cas’ hand hadn’t gotten trapped underneath him in his not-so-strategic retreat. It's his own fault that strong fingers are now cupped firmly against his ass cheek.

“You’ll never believe what we just found …”

Sam starts talking but Dean can’t focus on what he’s saying, too horrified by the obvious tent growing beneath the blankets. He quickly turns on his side, which is his second mistake. The movement causes Cas’ hand to slide across his ass and settle low on his hip, so close to his straining cock that Dean has a hard time remembering how to breathe. His heart beats arrhythmically and he stares at Sam without seeing him at all.

“It’s been the same with at least one of the other victims. Though this one was missing for over three weeks. And, just in case we weren’t sure that they were alive and trapped in sand, every time a missing person was found, their statue would vanish. So, whatever’s doing this, they’re not trying to kill. We should head down to the police station and try to talk with him. Maybe he’ll be able to tell us what it is that we’re up against,” Sam finishes excitedly, oblivious to the tension and electricity zinging between the men on the bed.

Sam looks at Dean expectantly, but Dean has not processed a single word his little brother has uttered. His mouth opens to say something, anything, as Sam’s gaze narrows and he starts looking a little more closely at Dean’s flushed face.

Thankfully, Cas’ phone begins buzzing again, saving them all from the embarrassment Sam’s scrutiny would surely bring.

“I should, um, I should get this,” Cas says, carefully pulling his arm free from beneath Dean to grab his phone and slide out of the bed and around Sam.

The emptiness feels wrong, and Dean has to tamp down the desperate need to grab Cas and pull him back down. However illogical it may be, his brain is screaming to wrap the angel in his arms and never get up from the bed again.

We weren’t fighting. Nothing was trying to kill us. We finally had peace together. Dean manages to bite back the petulant whine he wants to let out, barely. He wants to shout and curse, anything to verbalize his frustration at being so close to getting the thing he’s longed for, only for it to be pulled away. Again.

“Dean, are you sick?” Sam accuses leaning toward him, forcing Dean’s eyes away from Cas’ retreating form.

“Wha- What?” Dean squeaks, bunching more of the blankets around his groin, though, with the way he’s currently arranged, there’s no way Sam should be able to tell how inappropriately hard he is.

“Dude, your face is red, like you’ve got a fever. All that time in the cold and the rain, maybe you caught something. Do you feel okay?”

“Uh…”

No. I do not feel okay! We almost kissed. I almost kissed Cas! And he … didn’t look like he was going to stop me. He looked like, maybe, he wanted to kiss me too? Dean’s not sure if he’s breathing or not as his brain finally catches up on reviewing his moment with Cas.

“… don’t look good, Dean. I really think we should take you to the hospital.” Dean hears, finally tuning back in to Sam’s rambling.

“Hospital? No, I’m fine. Probably just hot from being bundled up for, what time is it? Six? Like ten hours?” Dean dismisses Sam’s concerns. “Now what were you saying earlier when you burst in rudely?”

“Sorry,” Sam ducks his head as he apologizes, but Dean knows he doesn’t mean it. “Eileen and I just found out that one of the missing tourists was found this afternoon. Alive. He’s at the police station now giving his statement.”

“Okay, so you want to head down and talk to him before the police convince him he’s crazy or hallucinating or he decides to leave, right?”

“Exactly, so-”

“Dean. That was Natalie. Bradley just showed up on her doorstep,” Cas informs them, stepping back into the room.

Dean sucks in a breath, trying to calm down his runaway pulse. Cas’ hair is mussed, sticking up in every direction, his scruff is a touch longer than yesterday, his shirt is half tucked into his pants. He looks like he slept deeply.

Or like he was just fucked, Dean’s brain supplies unhelpfully.

His mind gets flooded with visions of Cas tangled up in sheets, face flushed, Dean’s hands gripping his hair and forcing the angel to meet his eyes so he can see how they glow with when Cas comes.

Whoa, glow with grace? Where did that fantasy come from?

Like what you read? You can find the whole fic here on AO3

Rating: Explicit

Chapters: 5/? (hopefully 9 😂)

Chapter Word Count: ~6,250

Tags: Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Case Fic, Established Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Beach Case, Cannon when convenient, Mutual Pining, Idiots in Love, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con (Dean and background characters), Non-Consensual Touching (Not between Dean and Cas), Hurt/Comfort, I promise it's not as dark as it sounds, Fluff, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, clueless Sam Winchester, Chick-Flick Moments, Cannon typical misunderstandings, Angst?, One day I'll learn how to tag, WIP, JackieDeeArt's Hot Summer Art 2024 (Supernatural), Hot Summer Art, Greek Mythology if you Squint, No Beta, Everyone is bad with words, Except Eileen who is the only emotionally stable person for miles, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Angel Grace Dysfunction, Poor Coping Mechanisms, There was only one bed

#hotsummerart #interrupting moose #wrapping up the case #let's get on to the vacation part 😂#destiel wip #destiel fic #supernatural #spn #destiel #deancas #dean winchester #castiel #fanfiction #beach fic #case fic

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deancasbigbang · 1 year ago

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Title: The Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes

Author: oracle

Artist: parhelion_ava

Rating: Mature

Pairings: Dean Winchester/Castiel, Dean Winchester/Ruby, Castiel/Daphne

Length: 65000

Warnings: No Archive Warning Apply

Tags: Depictions of Drug Use, Hospitals, Implied/Referenced Overdose, Unrequited But Actually Requited Love, College/University, Out of Body Experiences, Very Slow Burn

Posting Date: November 1, 2023

Summary: Dean Winchester has known he was in love with his best friend for a long time. He never planned on saying anything, at least, not until friends and family convinced him otherwise. Only the confession doesn't go as planned: Cas rejects him. Distraught and hurt, he heads to a bar to drink his sorrows away, and upon meeting a woman named Ruby, enters a whole new world. Now battling his broken heart and new substance dependance, he needs to decide what is more important: his (still ever-present and strong) feelings for Cas, or his new found "freedom" with Ruby.

Excerpt: Dean laughed to himself. “Don’t get all teary on me Sammy, you’re an ugly crier and no one wants to see that.” Sam, of course, didn’t respond but kept looking at him. “I’ll just stay here until you wake up.” His eyes geared up. “It’s the least I can do.” “How sweet.” said a new voice. Dean turned around, startled. He wasn’t prepared for a new voice. He noticed Sam didn’t turn around, so it must have been a visitor for him. He turned to look at the girl who was about his age. She had long dark hair, and a pale face. She was wearing hospital scrubs. “Nice to see you again Dean.” “Hey, you’re the surgery girl I saw earlier.” Dean pointed to her. “What are you doing here?” She laughed. “I’m sorry I confused you earlier.” She held out her hand. “I guess now is a time for introductions. I’m Tessa. I’m a reaper” “A reaper? Like to ferry me to another plane?” Tessa nodded and shook his hand. “Nice to meet you, I guess. You already know who I am.” She nodded. “I do.” “So why are you here then?” Dean said. “To shepherd me to the other side?” Tessa looked at his body. “You’re at a crossroads Dean. You have two choices. I can take you to whatever afterlife is awaiting you.” She paused, then gestured to his body. “Or you can get shoved back into this body. You might not remember this time though.” Dean raised an eyebrow. “Since when do people get choices?” “Since you are special. You’re in a trance-like state now. Think very carefully Dean. You only have one choice.” “How long do I have to choose?” Tessa looked contemplative and said, “How about this. You tell me how you ended up here and by the time the story is over I want your decision.” Dean shrugged. “Why would you care?” Tessa raised an eyebrow, and shrugged as well. “I don’t, but I do want something to pass the time.” That got a laugh out of him. Dean nodded, and said, “Whatever. So let me spin you my tale of woe.” Tessa nodded. “Alright, so who is this?” She gestured to Sam. “My little brother. He feels partially responsible for what happened. Which is true to an extent. I mean, it wasn’t his fault entirely, but he definitely didn’t do anything to help. I can’t be too hard on him though, he did try his best. He’s only a kid And some of the things were just a bout of bad luck for me.” Tessa nodded. “Well that’s it, isn’t it? You can try your best, but it just isn’t enough sometimes. Bad things just…happen.” Dean nodded. “Yeah.” A moment went by. He looked at Sam and took. deep breath. “They do.”

DCBB 2023 Posting Schedule

#dcbb 2023 #fic preview #2023 promo #deancas #destiel

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zacharyleigh316 · 1 year ago

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Pumpkin Eater

Suptober Prompt: Days 2 & 3 - Pumpkin Patch, Inspired | Pumpkin Eater | 1.4K | M | Read on Ao3 (or below cut)

It's no news that Sam Winchester hates Halloween, so when a hunt leaves them caked in wet, stringy squash guts, whilst standing in the remains of what used to be a glorious patch of pumpkins, he's reasonably upset. So what if Dean feels a little inspired to egg him on? Maybe he shouldn't make it so easy…

“I really hate Halloween…” Sam groaned, faced scrunched up in disgust as he painstakingly peeled pumpkin guts off of himself.

He took a whiff of his flannel, soiled and freshly wet, and gagged, before sliding the garment off his shoulders.

“What,” Dean grinned, similarly covered, but not as moody as his little brother, “bathing in the insides of the great pumpkin king not your kind of party?”

Sam snorted and rolled his eyes. “Funny, Dean.”

“I dunno, I think we have enough left of this guy to make a couple of pies. What do you think, Cas?”

Cas narrowed his eyes, glancing around the pumpkin patch they desecrated for their hunt, which had only concluded moments ago, and was, ultimately, the reason they all decided to .

The monster they had been fighting, go figure, was ‘haunting’ the victim’s farm, and bringing the resident jack-o-lanterns to life–as if puppets weren’t already terrifying without being hordes of man eating gourds–which in turn terrorized the locals, making this your run of the mill Halloween Town–yes, Dean made that joke, no, nobody thought it was funny (except him, of course).

Just as Dean had the pleasure of putting the band Smashing Pumpkins to shame, by doing just that; except these were angry, possessed pumpkins, who, much to Dean’s chagrin, could care less about the music scene.

“Maybe take some of the seeds home, roast ‘em.” He suggested with an easy smile.

“I don’t think it’s wise to use these pumpkins for baking, Dean.” Cas replied, regarding Dean curiously.

Dean opened his mouth to retort, but Sam cut off the reply.

“If I hear someone say the word pumpkin, or anything related to what just happened here, again, I swear to god I will end you.”

“You just said it though.”

Sam snapped a glare over at his brother, before storming off with a muttered, “I’ll go tell the owners the place is safe now,” leaving Dean and Cas standing in the field littered with the corpses of pumpkins.

“Well isn’t he just awfully cheery today,” Dean said sarcastically with a snort, watching his brother leave.

Once Sam was out of sight, he turned back to the carnage, and shook his head, letting out a disappointed sigh. “Damn, if only we didn’t smash all of them though. Could’ve taken a couple pumpkins home with us. Jack would’ve loved to carve them.”

Cas smiled and walked over to Dean, reaching up to pick some guts and seeds from his hair. “That would be nice, yes. How very thoughtful of you, Dean.”

Dean chuckled, brushing some chunks off the angel’s trench coat. “Naw, just thinking about what Sammy and I used to do, y’know, when it was just the two of us slumming it in motels, waiting for dad to come back.”

“Sam seems to have a very strong hatred for Halloween…”

Dean rolled his eyes, wiping off his machete with the bottom of his shirt. “He didn’t always. He used to love it. We even went trick-or-treating around the motel rooms. Dad woulda killed us, but it was worth the smile on that kid’s face. Guess I was inspired.”

“Well, I think you’re right, Dean. Jack would love to do all that, regardless of Sam’s opinion. And maybe not from this one, but I’m sure we can find another pumpkin patch, perhaps closer to the bunker, and take them there instead.”

Cas looked around once more at the sad, smattered remains of this pumpkin patch, and let out a sigh himself. “Though hopefully we don’t have to destroy that one too.”

“I might not share the same reservations as Sam, Cas, but if we had to go through this again, I think I’d start hating Halloween too.”

The two of them started walking back, side by side along the path, Dean grimacing at the squelching of pumpkin beneath their boots.

“It really is a friggin shame that all the pumpkins ended up being collateral damage.”

Castiel hummed, frowning down at the aftermath, at what had become of the poor man’s farm.

“But it’s monster free now, so.” Dean shrugged, and Cas turned his attention toward the hunter, the small smile returning to his face.

“And that he, and the townspeople, are now safe.”

Dean beamed back at Castiel, green eyes twinkling with mirth. “Yeah, ‘course, Cas. That too.”

When they made their way back to the farmhouse, Sam was waiting for them out front, standing on the porch with his arms crossed, looking ever the soggy sourpuss, the bitchface still prominent on his face.

“Hope you didn’t talk to the guy lookin’ like that Sammy, like someone pissed in your wheaties.”

“Whatever, Dean. I just want to get home and take a shower. It’s going to take forever to get this stuff out, let alone the smell.”

“You mean to tell me you don’t want to smell like a yankee candle? Not a pumpkin spice bitch, Sammy?” Dean smirked, his cocky expression only growing at the umpteenth glare Sam sent him that afternoon, and the—albeit gentle—nudge to his shoulder Cas gave from beside him, which was meant to be chastising.

“I hate you.” His brother muttered, fleeing into the impala.

Dean laughed, turning to Cas with a wink. The angel only rolled his eyes.

“You shouldn’t tease him so much.”

“Aw, come on man, ‘m only having a little fun!”

“Yes, well, now he’s pissed off at you whilst in the car covered in pumpkin, getting it all over the upholstery.” Castiel said pointedly, looking smug now, especially as the color drained from Dean’s face and his laughter stopped.

“Fuckin’ hell Sammy, I’ll kill you if you do anything to Baby!” Dean snapped, hurrying after his brother.

Cas chuckled and followed closely after, at his own measly pace. When he got to the impala, the Winchester brothers were arguing, as they do. He slipped into the backseat, quietly amused by their antics, though, technically, this time he was at fault, having instigated it…but that was not of import.

“We’re all covered in it Dean! What do you want me to do, sit on the roof?”

Sam’s nostrils flared at his brother’s contemplative look, “Dean, I’m not doing that!”

“Well-“

“No, Dean-“

“You suggested-“

“I said no, Dean!”

“And I’m just saying-“

“I don’t want to hear it.”

Dean threw his hands up placatingly, and turned the impala on, grinning as she purred to life.

“Just don’t rub it in. All the gunk.” He said as an afterthought, earning a huff from Sam.

He wasn’t going to stop being in a pissy mood anytime soon, not that Dean was really helping matters either.

“We should probably shower too, Dean, after Sam does. It does get rather unpleasant after a while.”

Dean met Cas’ eyes in the rearview mirror and smirked. “Sure thing, sweetheart.”

Cas looked back with a fond smile, only interrupted by Sam’s groan.

“At least wait until I’m gone, please.”

“What, are you homophobic now too, Sammy? Along with being allergic to anything Halloween?” Dean’s tone was teasing, and it got the desired reaction out of Sam.

Was he purposely poking the bear as much as he could? Absolutely hell yes, he was, and loving every minute of it. Sam was his baby brother after all; he made it easy.

“Ugh, dude, our entire lives are Halloween. It’s Halloween everyday for us. Pardon me if I’m a little sick of it by now.”

Sam shook his head. “And I can’t decide if the unresolved sexual tension was worse, or the resolved sexual tension is, seeing as I’ve had to witness, and experience, both firsthand!”

“Don’t hate the player, Samantha.” Dean joked, and Sam grimaced.

“We all know what ‘showering’ really means to you, Dean. Walking in on you is literally the worst. Talk about a jump scare.”

Dean laughed. “Just getting in the spirit, right Cas?”

“It appears we’re only aiding in Sam’s distaste of Halloween, though, Sam, I assure you, we don’t only have sex during the spooky season.”

“Yeah, hear that Sam? We ‘don’t only have sex during the spooky season’.” Dean parroted, shoulders shaking with laughter.

Sam groaned again, and buried his red face in his hands. “I take it all back. I’d rather be back in the pumpkin patch fighting an army of squash than having this conversation.”

Dean grinned. “Happy Halloween.”

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castieldelamancha · 2 years ago

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Sam's constant rambling about the case, the victims, the monster and the salad he is going to get for dinner is just a distant white noise in the background.

Dean is going to regret not paying attention once he has to ask Sam to repeat all of this later on, because he isn't really eager to get a bitchface and a lecture. But, oh well.

He just can't help being distracted by the sight in front of him.

Sitting at the table, facing Sam but focused intently on Dean's laptop, Cas listens closely, nimble fingers moving across the keyboard as he nods along to whatever Sam is saying. He looks otherworldly, sitting there by the window, the weak sunlight that fights to shine through stormy, heavy, gray clouds, framing his handsome profile and surrounding him with a glowy halo, a distant echo of the one he has lost forever; his hair a mess, the sleeves of the flannel he is wearing rolled up to his elbows, showing his strong forearms and the last tattoo he got just a couple days ago. A bird in flight, full of movement and freedom.

Dean bought the flannel for him, green, because it suits him. Green because Cas once said it's his favorite color.

Dean nods along when Sam asks if he wants a sandwich before leaving to get their dinner.

Castiel stops typing, as soon as the door closes, but his eyes remain focused on the screen before him.

"I thought you said staring was a rude thing to do, Dean." There is no real heat or annoyance behind his words, if only there is a hint of amusement in his voice, a spark of mirth in his beautiful blue eyes, a subtle smirk on his lips.

Dean huffs, cheeks heated, the tips of his ears turning red too. "I was just thinking," he replies, lamely, " I'm sure you've listened enough for the both of us anyway." He adds.

Castiel hums nonchalantly at the last part, "you were listening, right?" Dean asks, frantically. "Because if I have to ask him again I won't hear the end of it."

"Yes, of course, unless you want to know about the salad, I stopped listening there."

Dean laughs quietly.

"I can't divide my attention between more than one task as well as I used to," Castiel continues, "I guessed it was best to put my abilities to use on our investigation, not on helping Sam decide what kind of tomatoes are better to go with a certain type of cheese, like that would make a difference." Castiel rolls his eyes.

Now Dean's laughter is louder, filling the room and making Castiel smile lovingly at him.

"Okay, okay, good."

"What were you thinking about?" Castiel's tone is now curious, he sighs tiredly and closes the laptop, rubbing his eyes. He gets up and stretches with his eyes closed, breathing deeply in that yoga style way he has learned on his own and that he has taught Dean about too, to help him cope with his late night nightmares. Effective, yeah, but not as much as simply turning around and letting Cas' arms surround him.

Dean watches him, enthralled, from where he is sitting at the edge of the creaking old bed and raises his arm, offering his hand to Cas, wordlessly asking him to come closer.

Castiel steps closer, taking Dean's hand with his and letting him pull him even closer, until he is standing between his legs, looking down at him.

Castiel's free hand closes over his cheek, he bends down, pressing a lingering kiss to his forehead, peace and warm wash over him.

"This,"Dean whispers, "I was thinking about this." This closeness, this simple touches, this easy intimacy. He feels Castiel's smile against his forehead and a grin graces his own lips.

#destiel #vanessa writes ✨#ficlet #fluff #right in front of sammy's hypothetical salad :(#human!cas

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adidegmez · 6 months ago

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spn s4 spoilers

spn s4 ep1(lazarus rising)

well, Dean is not in hell. ı watched the first 3 seasons as fast as I could. so that I could see cas. I know him from clips I see on the internet. and I was looking forward to meeting him and seeing his relationship with the Winchesters. ıt is already funny.

Dean thinks he doesn't deserve saving. he deserves the best always. he deserves every good thing in the world.

spn s4 ep3(in the beginning)

wow. mary is a hunter. mary's parents are hunters. john was kind. this ep broke my heart. dean and Mary's conversation🥹. Dean's reactions are very funny when Cas suddenly comes to Dean. I love it. well yellow-eyed demon returned. but not in the way I thought he would. mary made a deal. and she didn't even talk about it with John. why? I know she wanted a family blah blah blah she could've prepared them for what going to happen. sam and Dean are hunters because of her. john turned the way he did because of her. She could've done something but she didn't as far as ı know for now. ıdk what she could've done but still, I don't think what she did was okay.

spn s4 ep4(metamorphosis)

I wish I could just say Dean was right. if only it was that simple but both Dean and Sam were right. sam is saving people I hope he won't lose himself. and Dean is worried about his little brother as always. sam lied to Dean and he doesn't know why he lied to him either.

spn s4 ep6(yellow fever)

Dean… even when he is scared he is so cute. and he is trying to be brave for his brother. I love him so much. this ep was so funny. ilovehim ilovehim ilovehim… dean is right they are insane but that's why I love them they are still doing this job to save people. eye of the tiger bts was perfect I love Jensen Ackles so much.

spn s4 ep7(it's the great pumpkin, sam winchester)

Did I mention I love Dean? Of course, I did. and I'll say it again and again. well, again both Dean and Sam are right. I thought angels would be different. sam tried to do things Dean's way. I hope Dean knows that. cas is kinda good. I like him. dean has so much on him and I hope he can handle it and will be alright.

spn s4 ep8(wishful thinking)

Dean remembers everything. I am gonna cry now thx. I thought he remembered parts of it not all of it. 40 years in hell�� I can see the pain in his eyes. I love Dean I love Jensen. he is so strong he is trying to hide this but we can see it.

spn s4 ep10(heaven and hell)

I wish I couldn't feel anything, Sammy. I wish I couldn't feel a damn thing. dean

spn s4 ep14(sex and violence)

I love Bobby. he saved the Winchesters again.

spn s4 ep16(on the head of a pin)

dark Dean. I am scared a little bit. Sam, what are you doing? heaven is right to be afraid of Sam. he is dangerous. He wants to do the right thing but idk it feels wrong. Ruby scares me. I like her but I am not entirely sure she is good. sometimes I wonder why is she helping the Winchesters. I know she said her reasons but idk. I don't like Uriel. I like Anna. Now, I hate Uriel. but he is kinda right humans suck(not all of them of course but most). bad things always happen to Dean. I hate it. It's you Dean you're going to save everyone. you will.

spn s4 ep17(it's a terrible life)

It would be terrible if Winchester's life were like this. they don't know each other. they're living normal lives. I knew the website was ghostfacers'. well, they were useful. Zachariah is right. I like him. being a hunter is in Winchesters blood. they are meant to be like this.

spn s4 ep18(the monster at the end of this book) I need those books. cas I love you. Zachariah why? they should know what is going to happen.

spn s4 ep19&20(jump the shark&the rapture) well, I finally met Adam. I saw him on the internet earlier and I saw people hating John. I don't hate him, yet. Dean and Sam don't hate him. yes, Dean and Sam deserved a normal life but Mary died they are not normal Sam has demon blood in him. They would probably be dead if John didn't raise them the way he did. yes, John could've done better. he could've been there for them. instead, he was obsessed with revenge. But in the end, he gave up his desire for revenge and prioritized his sons. and I still love him for it. I hope he won't do anything bad in next season. he did try to give a normal life to Adam and I think it was nice of him to try.

poor Jimmy. Sam's demon blood obsession is getting out of hand. he looked like a vampire. I hope he will get better. I am glad Bobby and Dean got him. hopefully, they'll be able to help him. Why is Cas acting rude to Dean?

spn s4 ep 21(when the levee breaks) I don't want to hate Sam but he is pushing my limits. he almost killed Dean. spn s4 ep 22(lucifer rising) at least Sam knows he is wrong. angels are corrupt too. Cas I love you. you're doing the right thing. sam became a demon, amazing. ruby what, why? yes, sam. ruby is dead but in the end, lucifer is free. apocalypse is no one's fault but some of the angels. it's not Dean's fault or Sam's it's some of the angels. it is not looking good.

#supernatural #dean winchester #sam winchester #bobby singer #castiel #ruby #anna

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nescaveckwriter · 1 year ago

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Paintbrushes And Romance 🥰🐞 - Part 14

Dean x Fem/Reader

Part 14🥰🐞

A/N: This might be triggering for people suffering from PTSD!💓 Side Note: thank you all so much for the support. Much love, my bugsies 🥰🐞

Warnings: hospital scenes, trigger warnings, sadness, violence, swearing, PTSD triggers, suicidal tendencies, drug use,🥹

......

The tear stained note, was short, when Cas read it, "Sorry Mom, I need some space, will call I promise, Love you" , shaking his head in disbelief.

In a soft low voice, Cas told Dean he could enter the house.

The broken ceramic pieces still scattered all over the open plan kitchen, Dean searching for her, the look in his eyes took Cas by surprise, it was filled with hurt, fear, sadness and guilt. He just handed Dean the note, he expected his best friend to have one if his outbursts of anger, but instead, all Dean did was crumble up the note, looked at him with bloodshot eyes, saying, I've lost her again Cas, his voice was low, barely audible but shaking.

Of course he tried explaining to best of his knowledge, that she didn't really mean to say all those things, it was merely because she was suffering from depression and the trauma but of course his friend didn't really believe a single word he spoke.

Eversince that day, he would check on Dean occasionally, finding out how he has been doing, he'll always get the same answer, just fine, never been better.

One night about 2 months since she left, he went by Dean's house, he just had a feeling he should check on him, walking up to the door, he could see the image of the once strong man, sitting at the table, bottle of whiskey, nearly finished, what looked like photos scattered out in front of him, the chain with the diamond ring in his one hand, but what really scared him was the gun in Dean's right hand, he didn't knock, he just barched in, making Dean look up from where he sat.

Not a single word was uttered at that moment, He just took the weapon out of Dean's grip, tossed it to the side away from them, begging him to talk to him. The only words that ran over his whiskey lips, was that he was tired, he misses her, and he tried searching for her, but she withdrew all her money at a gas station two towns over, and well as for her phone, she threw it in the closest trash can, she only called back home about three times from a damn payphone, Caroline said when they spoke her words seemed few and sort of slurred. I reviewed the cameras man, you should've seen her, his eyes filled with sadness, the body he came to know like the back of his hand was now only skin and bones, she seemed high Cas! Like she's using, she's doing drugs because of me.

Dean stood up, running his hands over his face. I did this Cas. If only I caught the bastard sooner. That night was the breaking point for Dean, and if he didn't show up, Sam would've lost a brother and their parents a son.

He explained to Dean that what very few people knew, is that its not just the trauma victim, but their loved ones that also get affected by it. He didn't leave his sight that night, promising Dean that he is there for him every step of the way and that they will get through this.

Its been almost a year now, and Dean has gotten better, he has healthier coping mechanisms for the dark days, and when those doesn't seem to work like it should, he throws himself into work, and taking care of Bobby, making sure he gets to physical therapy. Of course every know and then he sees Dean subconsciously play with the chain around his neck, still keeping his eyes and ears open for a clue of where she might be, hoping she'll just show up one day, and say she's sorry, and he knows for a fact Dean will take her back in a heartbeat. He knows that it isn't either of their faults that this messed them up so badly but, it still breaks his heart that all of this happened to two of the most generous, loving people he knows.

...

Its been three months since she left, the images replaying over and over. What am I even searching for, what was even the real reason why I left, fumbling in her handbag for some of the painkillers she bought by some sketchy looking dude at the corner, the only way of making the images of every damn thing disappear is by getting high, is it wrong? Hell yeah I know it is wrong. But really do I even care anymore.

More coffee comes a deep voice, looking up you can tell the man had gone through hardships in life but the smile on his face met his eyes. Yeah, thanks you said, your voice doesn't sound the same anymore, its gotten slower and well it sounded like you had given up on life. He just nodded and refilled your cup. Something to eat, the voice came out a little sweeter than before.

No thanks, you didn't really felt like eating, everything made you nauseous. How did I get to this point, a junkie who can't wait for her next fix, who's living out of her car, driving from one town to the next. Maybe it was a wrong decision to drive off that day, thinking back to the first time you felt high, you were about to towns over, tired off driving and crying, and in all honesty the pain in your leg was driving you crazy, busy searching through your bag, seeing the antidepressants and opioids the doctor and your psychologist gave you, with clear instructions on how to take them, you just took some, washing it down with an energy drink you bought at the fill up station. And that combination felt amazing.

For the first time the images in your mind weren't so scary, and you felt good, real good. Early morning came and the effects wore off, you made a promise to yourself that you won't do again. After you freshened up you might've took some more, for the pain of course, just saying that to make yourself feel better, that day was also the last time you spoke to your mom, just stating your okay and she shouldn't worry and you loved her. You could tell she was concerned and crying on the end of the line. But there was nothing you could say to make her feel better. If there was you would've tried it yourself. You just hang up the payphone, throwing your cellphone in a trashcan close by, you knew Dean had the resources to trace your phone, and you weren't ready to be found.

Over these past few weeks the using got more, wanting to feel the effects for longer, you started popping pills more than once a day, and before you knew it, the pill bottles were empty, and it ain't exactly over the counter drugs, so you drove around searching for someone who sold them, at first you were scared but know your just desperate. Taking any pills you can get that will do the trick.

The guy who sold this last batch to you, told you to take one, and it will make you feel good, and at first you did, but that didn't just quite cut it, so you took another two, swallowing it down with your black coffee.

After a while you started to feel Nauseous, walking as fast as you can to the bathroom, not really seeing how the man from the diner that refilled your coffee were watching you, after closing the door behind you, you could tell something wasn't right, everything started to look it was swimming before your eyes, you felt like you were burning up, sweat coming from your forehead, your legs felt weak and just gave in underneath you, you felt your head hitting against the basin and then the floor, your body started to shake violently and then it all went dark...

#spotify #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester x reader #jared padalecki #jensen ackles x reader #sam and dean #benny lafitte #castiel spn #dean winchester imagine #eileen leahy

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postmodernmulticoloredcloak · 1 year ago

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Heyo!

How do you think Castiel and Dean would react to meeting Steve and Bucky and vice versa? Who would get along with who? Who relates to who better? For the purposes of the ask please pretend neithers gayness has been REDACTED

Oooh hello there! What an interesting question! For the sake of this answer, I will put Steve and Bucky into a universe that's closer to the spn universe than the mcu universe, because putting Dean and Sam in a universe with aliens and stuff feels too much (I also don't care about the mcu universe as a whole). So Steve and Bucky's story is kinda the same but just without the whole non-earth side of the mcu lol.

Sooo... Dean would WORSHIP Captain America and the Howling Commandoes! American heroes that fought against the nazis? I also imagine that when Dean grew up - the 80s - a lot of, you know, 80s-style badly made animated series, campy action movies, figurines and toys about the Howling Commandoes would ba made, and those would be totally up Dean's alley (not Sam, who would tease Dean for being so obsessed with something that Sam would see as cringey lol).

I'm not saying that Captain America would be Dean's first crush, but like. Super strong warrior type with blue eyes? I mean.

I also assume that pop culture between 1945 and when Steve was found and came back would totally hide/erase any hints of queerness that sources about Steve and Bucky's lives might suggest, but Dean is a smart bean and would se the subtext and the unspoken eroticism of the whole devotion between brothers in arms. So he wouldn't be exactly surprised when Steve's queerness would come to light...

Cas would be jealous. Trying to hide it but not succeeding much. He would warm up to Steve eventually, I guess, but it would take him a moment :p

On the other side, I think that Steve and Bucky would warm up to Dean faster than to Cas (who is kind of an acquired taste... well, he doesn't wear his heart on his sleeve like Dean does, and it takes time to get to know the real him). Dean would be familiar with 30s-40s pop culture and army culture due to his crush special interest in the era, so Steve and Bucky would find him funny and likeable albeit a little starstruck/with rose-tinted glasses about those times he's learnt so much about through cinema and tv (see Dean meeting Eliot Ness), but Dean would be so earnest about it that they would just find it adorable. (For the sake of this argument I'm assuming they meet in circumstances where they'd be able to genuinely connect and not be hindered by emotional baggage.)

If they really got to bond and open up with each other, then Cas and Bucky would relate so much to each other. Both brainwashed and manipulated and used by the villains, both broken through the brainwashing thanks to their love for an American boy with a giant heart and little sense of self-preservation and determination to sell... Of course this would happen only after they'd see the other as worthy of trusting with their emotional vulnerability.

Basically if the circumstances of their encounter allow for really getting to know each other and opening up to one another, they would all adore each other, in slightly different ways depending on the way each would connect to another.

Technically Sam would have potential to connect to Steve and Bucky too, but if both couples are open about their being a couple, then Sam would simply be the straight brother of one of the guys lol. Then again, if Sam hangs out with them also with Eileen, then Steve and Bucky would adore Eileen (who doesn't) so Sam would get a chance to hang out with the group too. But I think that Steve and Bucky would vibe more with the queer dudes, it feels more realistic lol.

You all are welcome to share your thoughts on the matter!!

#anon #destiel #stucky

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shallowrambles · 2 years ago

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Dear diary, notes for tomorrow - interesting things to think about />>

When Cas found out his superiors were letting the seals fall, there are immediate implcations for the Dean mission in Hell being purposely botched; i.e. potentially, angels put forth bad intel to ground soldiers; potentially, did someone let the first blood get shed for The prized Destiny fight?

Need to rewatch and pay attention to if angels submitted to the prize fight idea before Dean shed blood, or simply went along with it after that fact. Michael sounded very convinced that the fight had to happen if I recall...

Either way, Cas might be suspicious they were letting it happen all along. It motivated him enough to determine that the angelic war was a war of aggression and manipulation on humans, and that in turn motivated him to break rank and try to get a message to the humans. That's a full on moral injury; "my cause is corrupt; my superiors are acting wrongly" injury

Then he got tortured. :(

////

And later in Chuck's house>>> Raphael killing Cas = personal betrayal to him? He knew he would die but maybe he was surprised a little bit, hurt, even (vengeful?) Could this have set up a personal thing with Raphael. It seemed personal in 5x03. I like the idea of Cas being closer to Raphael and it representing a more hurtful breach. (i don't think it's a new idea in fandom; i just like it)

////

Why was Raphael so demoralized. "We just want it to be over." Why so despondant, nihilistic, depressed?" Why was he so rearin' to pick up the apocalypse again? Is he just nihilistic? Similar to AU Michael? Or lost without his brothers. It's a life without meaning, immortality without reprieve...

Metatron changes only when he almost dies, right before he meets up with Chuck. It was the almost-dying, mercy, and miracle of being alive that renewed him to the point he stood up to Chuck.

////

After the end of season 5, Cas went to Heaven to be like a "sheriff." That looked callous to Dean BUT Cas was concerned about the chaos...worried

He snapped into mission mode immediately but kept the details mostly private.

He then became ashamed of the angels for wanting to go after the humans again. Frustrated.

////

And due to what he went through in seasons 4-5, he's got that weighty moral injury telling his brain to be mistrustful of superiors and angels. Of course, he's feeling like he is partially home, and partially in enemy territory. Of course that sets him up to distrust his angelic soldiers, even the ones going up against Raphael with him!

The fallout of this is why Cas needs constant reassurance from his soldiers, and it's why he needs allegiance to feel comfortable.

His "family" operated in this all-or-nothing fashion. To Cas, this is what support looks like. To Cas, this is the type of power his distant father wielded. Loving punishment. Ruthlessness punctuated with gentleness.

////

And I think about this one a lot:

Would he have started a civil war without Crowley or submitted to / died heroically against Raphael?

CROWLEY What are you planning to do about Raphael?

CASTIEL What can I do besides submit or die?

CROWLEY Submit or die? What are you, French? How about resist?

CASTIEL I'm not strong enough, and you know it.

CROWLEY Ah, not on your own, you're not. But you're not on your own, are you? There's a lot of angels swooning over you. "God's favorite." Buddy boy, you've got what they call sex appeal.

CASTIEL Thank you. Get to the point.

CROWLEY Angels need leaders, so be one. Gather your army and kick the candy out of each and every angel that shows up for Raphael.

CASTIEL Are you proposing that I start a civil war in heaven?

CROWLEY Ding! Ding! Ding! Tell him what he's won, Vanna.

///

CASTIEL This is pointless. Your plan would take months, and I need help now.

///

CROWLEY Everything you've worked for -- everything that Sam and Dean have worked for -- gone. You can save us, Castiel. God chose you to save us. And I think...Deep down...You know that.

CASTIEL I wish I could say I was clean of pride at that moment...

INT. KEN LAY'S HEAVEN

CASTIEL Or the next. (Castiel uses the power of the souls to remove Raphael from the room.) There will be no Apocalypse. And let it be known -- you're either with Raphael or you're with me. And so went the long road of good intentions...The road that brought me here.

///

Cas's inability to trust his own rebel angels is interesting, but it does make sense and it results in a sort of wild, tragic (and often well founded) paranoia.

I just. Hmmmmm these problems existed in Cas way, way before The Winchesters. He's a morally injured soldier at this point, and it shows.

#interesting things to ponder #moral injury

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shallowseeker · 1 year ago

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To tack onto the above, Sam expresses his frustration on the phone with Cas being gone again. And Sam's in rare form, reaching out to other family members for support, telling Dean he's wrong and why etc.

Cas was gone to look for Amara, and then he was gone chasing wild leads: "I'd sequestered myself in the archives of the Basilica of Guadeloupe chasing down the rumor of a spell so powerful it could, quote, 'wound God Himself.' But it turns out it was just that -- a rumor. I just-- I don't know what else to do."

This whole scene calls to mind a different a few different conversations for me, when Sam's family members were sick. First, we had Faith:

There's also Prophet & Loss, where he was willing to reach out to others, like Cas here but was still so knee-deep in the lore, he told Cas to keep fruitlessly looking:

...

So all in all in UNITY, despite all the madness, we have Sam with his head screwed on a little straighter than usual, even if he's haunted in the end by analysis-paralysis.

At least he's reaching out and at least Cas, unlike John, is available. This time he's insisting Cas "get home" instead of chasing down leads.

Sam's actually the healthy/strong one in Unity for once, the one that's not so far down the rabbit hole that he's lost his way. He tries to lend that strength to everyone else but is waylaid by trying to talk the issues to death, not acting in time to protect Jack.

"Sacrificing your life for a cause takes a lot of courage. I still think it's wrong, though."

Dean is lost. "Sam...we have to do this, it's in the book!" This is one of the only times Dean's been so in the wrong, and although Sam argues with him, he does not move to protect Jack. He stays behind, "to look for another way" and Jack walks right out that door. Sam perhaps didn't go far enough besides trying argumentation...and logicking the issue.

SAM: Come on, blindly following orders, lying to Amara, sending her to her death? Does any of this feel right to you?! DEAN: It doesn't matter how we feel! Somebody's gotta be the grownup here. SAM: Somebody has to keep fighting for Jack! DEAN: He knows what he signed up for!

(I would have loved to see Sam struggle more with this. Sequel, I am begging you to make Sam's son Sam to the power of 5000.)

///

Changing gears to the tragedy of JACK.

Last thing. Brothers go to war together, but sons go to war in their father's stead. That's the whole tragic thing with Jack. That's why, "at least it isn't us this time." That's why, "thank you."

Dean is betraying everyone around him to "save the world." For the cause. He's as lost imho as existential-crises-spin season 4-Cas. He "doesn't know what's right or wrong anymore." What's passing or failing.

And remember: hen he himself was willing to become a sacrifical bomb, he was rewarded with the emergence of his mother!

And deep down, he is pretty horrified. We get that in tiny doses.

But like, season 6 Cas and his civil war and subsequent revenge on Heaven, "he can't turn back now." He's already come this far.

IMHO, Dean is going through a lot of the same things that Cas and Sam have already gone through in the course of the series. We remember: Sam was willing to shoot Dean in vintage SPN (Dean left the gun unloaded), he and Cas both were willing to let Dean become a suicide-bomb against Amara. Godstiel tore down Sam's wall and gleefully said nostalgia wouldn't prevent him from killing Dean and Sam. Sam sacrificed Rowena pretty freshly just a few eps ago.

But as a heart character, Dean's almost never been willing to sacrifice other people--he pretty much sticks to sacrificing himsef--so this sticks out as a contrast. Dean's not supposed to choose wrong, not like Sam and Cas and others so often do. For that reason, some people view it as harder to forgive.

But people let you down. They're human. They lose their way, even Dean.

///

He's "not Sam, he's not Cas."

He's like Dean.

He is becoming, narratively, season 11-Dean as we speak. A hero. A bomb.

A father's duty; work and family and protection and--

Some things I keep thinking about:

And also:

It's too big. It's too big for everyone. These expectations. Work, provide stability, provide food/water/shelter, protect, preparation, take on the world, uphold the world.

It's too big for Dean. He's not strong enough.

Cas isn't strong enough.

But Cas's expectations got heavier and heavier. He was supposed to succeed where Henry failed. Where John failed. Kelly chose him. Dean chose him.

Cas was supposed to protect them, to protect Mary. And--

When Cas became a Father, he--

No one real can escape letting you down.

#oh we are DEEP in the henry john cas jack dean sam hours tonight #freeform journaling

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marchtothefuckingsea · 3 years ago

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They'll Never Hurt You Again - Castiel

Hi!! I've got another character x injured!reader. I'm a sucker for these. I've watched supernatural a bit, but haven't gotten into Cas's parts too much yet, so he might be out of character, I'm not really sure sorry :( Hope you enjoy!

No usage of y/n. (I try not to use it in most of my fics.)

Castiel x Gender Neutral Reader

Word count: 5.7k (I swear I cannot write a fic under 5k words anymore LMAO)

Warnings: Severe injury, past abuse/trauma implicated (doesn't go into too much detail), blood, canon violence, angst, fluff towards the end.

Summary: Reader has a bad past with angels and doesn't trust Cas, too bad he's the only one that can care for them when they're badly injured.

"Cas! Come meet someone!"

Dean called into the empty room. If I hadn't been hunting with them for the past couple of months, I would've thought he was insane.

Sam stood off in the corner of the room, arms crossed in front of his chest. He glanced over at me with a smile. "What's going through your head?"

I shrugged. "Nervous, I guess."

I hadn't had a great past with angels. I had been held and tortured for information on a certain demon I had made a truce with for a hunt. Of course, if i had revealed any information on his whereabouts, I would've been slaughtered by him.

Up until then, I had believed that angels were, at the very least, a little less violent than their fallen counterparts. I was very, very wrong. I had met demons with more kindness in their blackened hearts.

Even sometimes now, my nightmares were plagued of the things I had endured during my stay in heaven.

Needless to say, I did not trust angels at all. Their lack of emotions, their cruelty, their utter lack of humanity, despite their 'job' of maintaining human souls.

I didn't care if Sam and Dean trusted him.

"Hey you've known us for awhile now, right? You know we wouldn't purposely put you in danger. He's on our side." Neither of them knew of my past experiences with the angels, but they sensed my anxiety that was a bit more than being nervous to meet someone new.

I had been hunting on my own for years before meeting the Winchesters, occasionally working with others on bigger hunts, but mostly on my own. I had become pretty experienced and after teaming up with them on a demon hunt, we had parted ways. We eventually ran into each other again on the same salt and burn, and they invited me to join them. I agreed, I was looking forward to taking on bigger hunts with them instead of sticking to the safer simple ones on my own.

I heard an unfamiliar flutter of wings and glanced over to Dean, nervously taking a couple of steps back.

"What is it?" A deep voice asked. Castiel.

"Meet our newest addition to the family!"

I hated the way his eyes glanced me over quickly. Calculating.

"Family?" I heard confusion in his voice.

"Well, not literally but they're basically like a sibling to us! They're officially part of the team!"

"Hello." His voice was flat.

"Hi Castiel." I hated the tension in my voice. I was on edge, ready to flee at any moment. I couldn't help it even if I wanted to.

He turned back to Sam and Dean. "Is that all?"

"Yeah I just figured you'd wanna meet them since they'll be with us on hunts a lot more now-"

"I have matters to attend to in heaven."

"Alright, see you Cas." With a flutter of wings, he was gone.

"Well." I breathed out a sigh of relief, trying to shake some of the tension from my body. I loosened my grip on the blade hidden under my jacket.

"If you don't need me then, I'll keep working on that case yeah? I think I'm pretty close to a lead."

"I think I'll join you." Sam pushed himself off the wall and headed my way.

"I'll join you guys in a bit."

The brothers were off on a case for the next week or two, while I stayed behind doing more research. I had a strong feeling they were rushing into this way too quick and not thinking it through enough, it seemed way too easy.

Multiple deaths in a single small city that appeared to share the same trait; all the victims had been drained of their blood. Seemed like a simple vamp case, but I had noticed a few other things that didn't quite match up with the previous cases I had been on.

The victims' chests had been ripped open and their hearts pulverized. Sam and Dean written it off as some sadistic vamp but I wasn't believing it. There were no other signs of a vampire anywhere. The 'bite marks' were oddly shaped and much too clean for vampire, and the victims also showed no sign of the anticoagulant in their systems like vampires usually left traces of. It wasn't adding up.

They, of course, had brushed me off, calling me a worry wart. I had nothing against them for it. Maybe I was being a bit too cautious but after hunting alone throughout the majority of my career, with no backup, I had learned to be extra cautious when approaching something different. I examined all the details because I had no room for errors or fuck-ups.

Flipping through the musty pages of the book, I hunched over the table, concentrating. I'll admit I had barely slept since the guys had left, trying to get any new info I could before they rushed in and got themselves hurt. I was running purely on caffeine and adrenaline as I put together more and more pieces of information.

I was too concentrated on staying awake to hear the fluttering of wings as the angel appeared in the room.

His voice jolted me awake. "Where are they?" He asked harshly. I stumbled out of my chair, taking multiple steps backwards, in the opposite direction of Castiel.

"Sam and Dean." He repeated.

"They're on a hunt. I thought you knew where they were all the time?" He huffed, clearly annoyed. "Want me to forward a message to them or something?"

"No." With a flutter of wings, he was gone again. It took me a few minutes to calm down, on the verge of a panic attack. The way he had snuck up on me, I hadn't even realized. I was half asleep.

After a couple more hours, I had put together an entirely new creature. It was some sort of ghost that could move around freely, as long as it had enough energy. That energy having to come from people in the form of blood. It had to killed like a normal ghost, not a vampire. Damn it! They had taken the completely wrong equipment.

And we still had to find the body! I rung Dean's cell, praying for him to pick up. It rung twice then, "Hey what's up?"

"God damnit Dean it's not a vamp!"

"What do you mean?"

"It's some sort of ghost. It gets its energy to stay in this realm with the living by taking energy from people. Their blood."

"What the hell are you talking about? I've never heard anything more ridiculous in my entire life!"

"Dean where the hell are you? You're breaking up just- I'll catch up to you guys okay? You brought the wrong equipment with you. I'll text you my findings and you tell me I'm wrong." I hung up, letting out a frustrated sigh.

Checking on Sam and Dean's location on my phone, I saw how close they were to the town and let out another sigh. I had counted on getting a couple hours of rest tonight. In the past week they had been gone I had maybe slept two or three times, a couple of hours at most. I was utterly exhausted but I had to get to them as soon as possible. They had no idea what they were walking into, and from what I had pieced together, this was a pretty nasty and particularly violent spirit. If they didn't have the right things they could get seriously hurt.

If I left now, I could make it to the hotel they were staying in by noon, but I knew they would be long gone and checked out by then. If nothing else, I could definitely catch up to them on the site of the case. If I kept driving non-stop, by the time they stopped for lunch that would buy me enough time to catch up to them somewhere along the way. I had to leave now.

Tossing the equipment into the back of my car, I chugged down another inky black cup of coffee and filled up a thermos for the road. It was 9 PM. This was going to be a long night.

Once I could start to see the sun coming up over the horizon, I stepped on the gas a bit harder as my heart started to pound harder against my chest. They had hit the road earlier than I anticipated, and it was going to be close.

By some miracle, I managed to catch up to them at a dingy diner a couple towns before the town where the case was. I barely parked my car before I jumped out, jogging to the entry door of the diner.

As I stepped in, my eyes scanned all the booths, finally landing on Sam and Dean's familiar faces. I jogged over to their table, leaning onto it for support once I got there. I was an exhausted, achey mess. I had spent the past few days hunched over countless books in the library, and the times I wasn't I was leant over a laptop with my face just a bit too close to the screen.

"Guys," I panted. "You have no fucking clue what you're walking into. Here, look," I opened the book out on the table to the page I had dog-eared, pointing at a picture of some horrific creature. Sam slid over in the booth, allowing me to take a seat beside him. As I did I glanced at him gratefully before pulling out my notes and other things I had printed and launching into the details of the cases and what they had missed.

"Shit you've been hard at work huh?" Dean sounded impressed. Then he glanced up at me, seemingly taking in my face for the first time since I arrived. "Have you gotten any sleep at all?"

"A few hours."

"You need to rest before we take on this case then we can't have you-"

"Dean, I'm fine. Since I ran out of coffee halfway here, I've been running purely on adrenaline. I don't think I'll be able to calm down any time soon." Dean opened his mouth to, most likely, argue what I said when the waitress came up to our table.

"What can I get for you?"

"Uhh," Dean quickly flipped through the menu. "I'll take an omelet?"

"What do you want for-"

"Just a plain omelet."

"Alright, and you?" She glanced at Sam and I.

"A couple pancakes." She quickly scribbled it down on her pad before glancing at me with a smile on her face.

"Uhm, just a coffee? And, uh," I quickly glanced at the front of Sam's menu. "a blueberry muffin. Thanks."

"Your food will be right out!" She smiled and walked off.

"I have a feeling you've had way too much coffee already." Sam looked at me with a disappointed frown. "I'll be fine. We'll get this case done and over with then I'll rest. I just don't think I can until we get done with this." It was worrying me.

After we ate our food, Sam and Dean hopped in the Impala and I got in my car.

"See you there sweetheart." Dean waved.

I followed close behind them, parking next to them in the lot of the place where we figured the body could be. I stumbled out of my car, my legs almost giving out on me. I was starting to have second thoughts about joining them on this hunt, but my fear of one of them getting hurt and not being there to help them was outweighing my logical thoughts.

They walked over to my car to pull out the equipment I had brought, tucking and clipping everything into its respective place, getting their weapons at the ready. We weren't entirely sure if this was even the place-an old, run down and long abandoned hotel- but this was the only spot we could come up with after tracing the trail of victims back.

Dean insisted on heading in first, I followed close behind and Sam brought up the rear. We were all at the ready for any signs of a vicious, bloodsucking spirit.

After a few more twists and turns, we entered into an open lobby. At one point it was probably a nice place, but not now. The wooden floors were battered and filthy, the rug in the middle of the room beat to all hell. The couches surrounding it were torn and missing cushions, the blinds and curtains falling to the floor and the ones that hadn't yet were hanging crooked on the wall. The once grand fireplace was covered in a thick layer of soot and dust. It was a mess and looked all too well like somewhere this spirit's body would be hidden.

I crept into the room behind Dean, the floorboards creaking noisily under our feet. The sound made me flinch, as if the ghost couldn't already tell we were there, noise or not.

Dean motioned with his hand for us to split up. I opened my mouth to protest, to say that that was a horrible idea, this thing was dangerous, when a wave of chilly air brushed over me and suddenly I was thrown across the room and hit an empty bookshelf with a sickening crack.

Black spots danced heartily across my vision and I groaned, instinctively pressing a hand to my ribs. I felt around for a moment and decided that at least one was broken. The rest seemed intact, but would definitely bruise.

As I blinked away the spottiness in my eyes, I heard Sam struggling with something. I swept my eyes around the room and saw him backed up against the wall holding up a chair leg, obviously struggling against some invisible force. As I focused my eyes on it more, I could see an almost transparent-blue figure pushing the chair leg back at him, trying to crush his throat with it.

I struggled to my feet, leaning against the wall for support, trying to get to Sam before Dean did. He was across the room dodging flying books and china, I didn't think he would be coming to Sam's aid any time soon.

I grasped the hilt of the knife in my belt as I drew closer. It was a special knife that could cut into spirits. It couldn't kill or banish them, I still had to get rid of them the traditional way, but it certainly got them off of my case long enough to catch my breath when I needed to.

I sliced into the spirit and it vanished with a ghostly shriek, but then I realized the objects hadn't stopped flying at Dean. I hastily glanced back at Sam to make sure he was alright. He gave me a nod and I took off towards Dean to pull him out of the mess. I got hit in the ribs by a flying book in the process, to which I barely held back a cry of pain. It hit me right in the broken rib. I grit my teeth and dragged Dean out of the whirlwind of dangerous flying things.

"There's- there's two," I gasped. "What the fuck do we do now??"

"Same plan," Dean ground out, patting his sides to feel for injuries. "They both seem pretty strong here, so both their bodies must be here. We just need to find them."

"Right." Sam. "But where do we even begin?"

"They're going to beat the shit out of us before we can even find one of them."

"With any luck they'll both be in the same place."

"Since when have we ever been lucky?"

"They've got a point."

I ran my hand through my hair. "Alright so, assuming they're not going to be in plain sight, and taking into account the age of this building, I say there's got to be a basement around here somewhere. They're most likely down there. Either that or buried somewhere on the property but I'd like to not think about that scenario."

"So we stick to the ground floor?"

"Exactly. And probably around the common areas; lobby, kitchen, laundry, that sort of thing. I seriously doubt there's going to be a way down to the basement in any of the rooms." I paused. "And no splitting up this time yeah?"

"After that? Definitely not." Sam huffed. "Not a chance."

"Look I underestimated I just thought we could be more effecient," Dean started.

"'s not your fault Dean. No one could have guessed there was two of them." I tried to hide the sudden slur to my words. My adrenaline was fading from all this standing around and discussing. I needed to get moving and get into action again, else I'd crash, and this would not be a good place for that to happen.

"You alright? You sound funky?"

"Funky? Really? I'm fine. Just got the wind knocked out of me." I was thankful they didn't hear my ribs break, or they would've ended the hunt right then and there. We couldn't afford that, we had to finish them off now.

We scoured the lobby, moving onto the kitchen and finally the laundry.

"Fuck," I cursed under my breath. "Where the hell are they??" The pain was really starting to set in now, I was feeling lightheaded and had to take breaths in short, sharp pants. We trudged back to the kitchen.

"Wait- wait a second. Let me rest."

I saw nothing but concern in Sam's eyes. "You sure you're alright?"

"Fine, maybe I bruised some ribs. I'm good. It hurts like hell but it's nothing major." He didn't look like he believed me. He opened his mouth to speak again, when everything felt like it was going in slow motion to me.

One second, everything had been fine. The place was a mess, knives and silverware scattered everywhere, like people had left in a panic. We had little to no interference from the ghosts, which led me to believe we weren't close at all to finding their bodies.

The next, a knife had sharply jolted up into the air off of a nearby cutting board, and whizzed through the air, straight for Sam's back. I didn't have any time to think. "Sam!" I yelled out, jumping forward despite the pain in my ribs and shoving him out of the way. We both fell to the ground, catching our breath. He was the first to sit up, hunching over me protectively and glancing around for more attacks.

I groaned, forcing myself into a sitting position, before I collapsed into him. My breath was ragged and wet.

"Hey! Hey hey hey! Dean, they're bleeding! They're fucking bleeding!" Sam held me gently against his chest with one arm, his other pressing into the wound painfully. I weakly tried to push his hand away, "'m fine."

"There's more of your blood on me than in your body! You're not fine!"

"Dean. Dean!" Dean, who was standing wide-eyed with shock, quickly snapped back to action. "Dean call Cas."

"Right! Right, okay."

"Sam wait," I mumbled. "Sam." He glanced down at me.

"Not Castiel."

"Look I know you guys don't get along but you're actually going to die if we don't get someone to heal you right away-"

"No. I don't trust him."

"If this is something to do with him being a supernatural being I can assure you we trust him, he wouldn't hurt someone on our team."

"No." I insisted. My vision was growing blurry. "Sam please just-"

"I'm sorry sweetheart. We have to. There's no other choice, he'll get you back to the bunker and heal you, it'll be fine okay? If he does anything to you to make you uncomfortable or you feel in any danger at all, just call us we'll drop everything and come and protect you-" He was cut off by a flutter of wings.

"How can I help you?" At the sound of his monotone voice, I weakly struggled against Sam's gentle hold, whining at the pain. Dots appeared in my vision. "Sam," I mumbled.

"It's okay, shh. You're going to be fine." He started rocking me back and forth while I heard Dean hastily explain to Castiel what had happened.

I heard heavy footsteps make their way over to us. They weren't Dean's.

I started gasping, panic filling all of my senses. With a newfound strength, I struggled out of Sam's hold, skittering across the floor and stopping only when the wall had hit my back.

Through my blurry vision I could make out Sam rising from the floor with Castiel close behind him. "No, no." I mumbled. Panic filled my lungs instead of the oxygen I was so desperately trying to grab onto with my short, painful gasps.

A coughing fit overtook me and I doubled over onto my hands and knees. The coughs rattled my entire body and made waves of pain rush through my abdomen. Sam dropped to his knees next to me, rubbing my back and trying to support me.

"Sam! Sam I need some help over here! God damnit! Sam!" Dean's voice called from somewhere in another room. I could feel the hesitation in his body movements, my own mind hesitating. I was torn between begging him to stay, not to leave me alone with the angel, or allowing him to go help Dean. He made the decision for me.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry. Trust Cas for us okay? Hang in there." He pressed a quick, gentle kiss to my head, and I heard his quick steps fade off to help Dean.

As he left, I quickly scrambled to right myself as I saw unfamiliar boots approaching me. "Stay away." I mumbled, my voice filled with poorly masked pain.

He ignored me, kneeling down next to me as my breaths quickened in panic. Another coughing fit overtook me and I doubled over again. This one was worse. I tasted blood in my mouth and I felt like I was about to collapse.

"Calm down."

An arm crossed in front of my chest, gently offering support. I scrambled away, but couldn't go much further as my back hit the wall and the coughs worsened. My arms gave out and I fell weakly into Castiel's arm, still attempting to support some of my weight with my own arms. I didn't have the energy to fight anymore. He gently supported me as more coughs wracked my body. Even though I was face down, it still felt like I was drowning in my own blood, each short gasp was only half filled with air, the rest with blood.

"Shhh. It's okay, it's okay." He said softly, a tone I had never heard in an angel's voice.

As the coughing fit subsided, I fully collapsed into his arms. I took short, quick gasps to try and get more air into my lungs, to make the black dots in my vision fade. I was shaking. Cold. Fear.

As I heard a crash, and some faint cursing, he pulled me into his chest. I struggled against him, it did nothing. Pain washed through me and I let out a low whine.

"I'm not going to hurt you. You're safe with me." I was barely aware of the tingling sensation dancing over me as the scenery changed into the bunker.

Once I had realized, I panicked even more. Sam and Dean weren't here. They couldn't protect me and I was in no state to protect myself. As I came to the realization, I also realized I was in the angel's arms. Adrenaline pumped through my veins.

I shoved my hands against his chest suddenly. He didn't expect it and I was dropped to the floor. I gasped out a cry of pain, shoving myself up and somehow, hastily forcing myself up to my feet. I leaned against the wall, my angel blade pointed at Castiel with a shaky hand. "Get away from me." I panted.

Swaying on my feet, I shuffled along the wall, slowly inching towards my room. As my legs gave out beneath me, I dropped my angel blade to the floor with a clatter, clutching onto the doorframe for dear life.

Castiel took this as a moment of weakness to move in on me. He approached with slow and deliberate steps. "It's okay," he said soothingly. "I won't hurt you."

I swayed on my feet, my resolve weakening. If I didn't allow him to help me, I would die. Simple as that. I had been going for far too long, it was a miracle, really. I should've passed out, died, a long time ago. I was lucky to have made it this far but my luck was just about out.

I hunched over, clutching my middle as another wave of pain washed through me, I whined. I gave up. "Okay." I whispered. I slid down the wall, sitting on the floor, before my legs gave out. He knelt beside me and I took a shaky breath. All my instincts were telling me to flee, to get away at all costs, but I was fighting against them.

I felt so vulnerable as my mind started flashing back to my time with the angels. My captors. I squeezed my eyes shut and I couldn't stop the tremors that shook me. My breath was starting to come in quick pants again.

"Breathe." His deep voice instructed. I jerked away, not realizing he was so close. He didn't move, didn't react.

Perhaps that's what scared me the most about him. Even more so than the angels that had captured and tortured me before. He acted so cold, just like them. But there were also times where he seemed so- so human. It was terrifying. Unpredictable.

My head started to loll to the side, the adrenaline fading, taking my energy along with it.

Through my increasingly blurry vision, I saw him raise his hand, it was glowing, and I weakly flinched away. "No- no grace-"

He tilted his head to the side, questioning. "No," I gasped again.

I knew their grace could heal, save lives. But it could also cause immense pain, and that was all I had ever experienced from it. "I'm going to pick you up then, alright?" He asked. I was starting to drift off again as he slid his arms under me, trying his best not to shift my ribs. I sucked in a pained breath, my eyes fluttering shut.

As soon as he laid me on the bed and pulled away, I noticed how warm he was. I struggled to stay awake.

He returned a few moments later with the heavily equipped first aid kit that was kept in the bathroom.

I was fading fast when he gently prodded me awake. I struggled to open my eyes. I couldn't.

I faded completely.

The last thing I remembered somewhat clearly was Castiel picking me up and carrying me to the bed.

As I stirred, stretching out my limbs and testing for damage, I felt a bit stronger than I had when I was last awake, but tiredness was still weighing across me like an uncomfortable blanket.

I felt my side where I had been slashed with the knife, it had fresh bandages, and my ribs were wrapped snugly in gauze as well.

"Sam? Dean?" I croaked out. My voice was hoarse, scratchy. It felt like I hadn't used it in years.

I was suddenly aware of my thirst, how dry my mouth was. I struggled to prop myself up on my forearms to attempt to get up.

Somehow, I managed. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed, hissing as I did so, the movement jarring my ribs painfully.

I stumbled over to the door, leaning against it to catch my breath before I tugged it open.

Considering my state, I actually made it quite far before my legs gave out and I collapsed onto the cool floor of the kitchen. I groaned, feeling my stitches pull.

I forced myself up, coughing. When I pulled back my hand, I didn't see any blood. That was good, although I could taste something metallic in the back of my throat.

I heard heavy, quiet footsteps drawing nearer. Castiel.

"Are you okay?" His voice sounded worried. "You shouldn't have gotten up." He knelt down next to me.

"I was thirsty." My voice was hoarse, confirming what I said was true.

"I apologize, I stepped out of the bunker for a moment to-"

"It's okay. Thank you Castiel."

"For what?" He cocked his head to the side. I'd never admit it, but it was very endearing.

"Taking care of me, not letting me die. All that. You didn't have to."

"Of course I did."

"You didn't have to." I insisted. "I appreciate it." My voice cracked, reminding both of us what I had came in here for.

"You need food and water."

"That wouldn't be a bad idea, I guess."

He stood up, leaning down to offer me his hand. I cautiously took it, pulling myself up. As soon as I did though, spots filled my vision and I was thrown off balance. I stumbled, trying to catch myself before I fell, but I didn't have to. Castiel had caught me by the waist, I flinched away both from the foreign contact and the pain, but it was better than hitting the hard floor again.

He supported me for a few moments while I regained my balance, and I tried to go over to the sink to get some water. He gently steered me away, his arm still around me in case I lost my balance again.

"I need water-"

"You need to rest. I'll get it."

I opened my mouth the protest but decided against it. He was right. I could barely stand on my own.

When he came back, he was carrying a glass of water and a bowl with, presumably, steaming soup in it.

He sat down on the chair by my bed, setting the water down on the nightstand, and handing me the soup.

"Eat first." I took the bowl from him, inhaling it's tantalizing smell. I wasn't even going to question how he knew how to cook, assuming Sam or Dean had, at some point, taught him how to use "human machines".

"Thanks Castiel."

"Cas."

"What?"

"You can call me Cas." He said with a small smile on his face. A tiny smile made its way onto my features as well.

He watched on silently as I ate my soup, it wasn't awkward. It was a surprisingly comforting silence, something I never thought I would be able to feel around the angel.

As much as I hated to break the silence, a question popped into my mind. "How long was I out?"

He frowned. "Three days." He hesitated before continuing, "I had to use my grace on you, I am sorry."

I was silent. "If I hadn't, I highly doubt you would have lived, your injuries were too severe. I only healed the life-threatening injuries, nothing more."

"It was against your wishes, I know. I couldn't let you die though," he trailed off.

I was hesitant. I understood his reasoning but it scared me. The nervousness returned, thinking about how I was, still am, so vulnerable around this supernatural being. One that his brothers and sisters hadn't been so kind to me.

"It's okay." I whispered. "I forgive you. I understand, you did what you had to do. Thank you Cas, thank you for not letting me die."

The remaining soup in the bowl had gone cold. I reached over to set it down on the nightstand and picked up the glass of water, bringing it to my chapped lips. I sighed contentedly.

I noticed his frown had deepened as he stared at me. "Why were you so scared of me?" The dreaded question. I hesitated for a long while, trying to come up with some excuse or something that wouldn't offend him. I couldn't. I would tell him the truth.

"I haven't exactly had the best encounters with angels." His head tilted to the side, indicating he was listening. "They captured me, tortured me for information that I couldn't even give. Either way, whether I gave up up or not, I would be dead. Either by the being I had betrayed, or the angels for not giving them the info they wanted. They tortured me, then healed me to repeat the process all over again." Pain blossomed in my chest as the memories returned, and I had to push my tears down.

"At some point I managed to snag an angel blade and make my way out. Long story short, I guess, the only experiences I've had with your kind have not been the best. In all my years of hunting, dealing with vengeful spirits, even demons, I've never came across any as hateful as the angels." I took a shaky breath. Being this honest with him could have consequences, I wasn't sure how he would react and it worried me. I still couldn't defend myself.

"I'm sorry," I added. "it's nothing against you. I know I can trust you now it's just-"

He moved onto the edge of the bed, gently putting his finger against my lips, silencing me. "It's okay. I get it. I don't blame you." His eyes held mine. They were so blue. "Now you have someone on your side strong enough to fight them for you." A tiny smile graced his lips. "They'll never hurt you again."

"I know, thank you. Thank you so much Cas." I added with a small smile, "I wish I had known you were this nice before."

He hesitantly reached for me, and when I didn't flinch or make a move to get away from him, he gently pulled me into a hug, mindful of my still-healing injuries.

His hand rubbed soothing circles on my back as he leaned back against the pillows, holding me against his chest. I hummed contentedly, allowing my eyes to flutter shut. He was so warm.

"Sleep." He murmured. I felt it more in his chest than I heard it.

"They'll never hurt you again." He repeated softly.

548 notes · View notes

stratiotis-nth · 3 years ago

Text

“Get your own damn clothes, Cas! My closet ain’t a Goodwill!”

“No, I don’t think I will. Sam’s clothes are too big and new clothes smell suspicious.” Cas’ eyes were closed serenely, completing unaffected by Dean’s flustered outburst. He was leaning back in his chair, holding coffee in his hands and ignoring Dean’s pink cheeks and half-crazed look in his eyes.

Jack watched them in dismay and amusement. The two of them had been like this since Jack rescued Cas from the Empty and turned him human. Bickering back and forth and over and under, from breakfast to dinner.

“They’re my clothes.”

“And quite comfortable, thank you.”

“I swear on Jesus’ resurrected asshole, Cas—“

“I like your clothes.” Cas suddenly cut in, and Jack watched as he turned wide, sad eyes on Dean—a complete one-eighty to the nonchalant dickery a moment ago. “Does it really bother you that much that I do?”

Jack looked over to Dean, who had clammed up the moment Cas turned the puppy eyes at him. His green eyes bulged slightly as they stared at Cas, completely at a loss for words.

I am beginning to believe there’s no hope for them. Amara’s voice floated in Jack’s head, sounding amused. Have they always been like this?

Yes. Jack replied, watching Dean fumble and Cas stare fondly.

Poor dears. Stumbling around each other like bats in a cave.

I have faith they’ll figure it out. Jack said confidently. You once found Dean by following Cas’ love for him, didn’t you? There’s hope for them yet.

Ah, yes. Amara hummed lightly. I did do that, didn’t I? Worked a charm too. It was so strong then. Are you sure the years haven’t weather it away?

Yes. Jack replied, watching as Dean rubbed the back of his neck and ducked his gaze, mumbling an embarrassed, “‘Course not, Cas. Just surprised me, that’s all.”

I can hear their inner thoughts, Amara. Cas’ love for him is stronger and brighter than it’s ever been, and Dean’s…figuring it out. I can hear him falling for him more every day. Jack smiled when Cas smiled at Dean, who licked his lips nervously and hightailed it out of the library, undoubtedly to recover in his room.

Does it sound nice? Amara asked, sounding almost wistful. Hearing him fall in love?

Jack’s amused grin on Dean’s behalf faded into a softer, private one.

It as turbulent as water crashing down a fall, but as gentle as sunbeams falling to earth. They replied. It actually fits him very well. Chaotic but gentle.

Castiel is worthy of that love. Amara said, but Jack could sense a kind of loneliness aching in the back of their head where Amara resided. It wasn’t because she wanted Dean—no it was more complicated than that. She just wanted someone.

I’m sorry, Amara. Jack said. That you were alone for so long.

They could feel Amara smile gently.

I’m not very lonely anymore, dear. She said fondly. You make very good company. I’m glad it was you who took me in.

I’m glad too. Jack replied, just as Dean’s voice echoed down the halls.

“Cas! You’re using my shampoo, you dick!”

Jack glanced over to find Cas with his eyes closed again, leaning back in his chair and not moving a muscle. But they could see a smile tugging at his lips.

Watching them bicker is quickly becoming my new favorite thing to do. Amara commented.

It’s only a little painful to watch. Jack agreed, and the two omnipotent bystanders sat back to observe two idiots fight because they loved each other.

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deansfreckless · 3 years ago

Text

little ((bad)) something i wrote because insanity y’know. also I miss them.

“Cas, am I old?” Dean asks one day, looking towards the mirror, arms slouched along the sides, strays of grey hair muffled.

Cas - lying on the bed, bare torso, messy hair on top of his head - turns and looks at him questioningly.

Dean glances back at Cas through the mirror.

“What’s the matter?" Cas asks.

Dean’s firm lips hold a breath before answering. He lightly sighs, scratches his nape nervously and snorts “It’s— Nothing, ‘s just..nothing.”

“Dean” Cas says like he always does - fond, serious, apprehensive, loving- when Dean acts like that and Cas gets out of the bed, bedsheets slowly tracing and abandoning his body and hugs him from behind- bare torso, warm against dean - and places a soft kiss on the shoulder.

He glances at the mirror. Sees dean staring at his reflection.

“You are beautiful, Dean” Cas says. Plain and simple just because it’s true, just because he can say those things to Dean, just because Dean deserves to hear them. And Dean full on freezes. And Cas’ heart breaks a little.

When dean speaks again, his voice comes out in a rasp “’M turning 50 this year, Cas”

“That’s how birthdays work, Dean”

Dean elbows him softly but his voice is filled with a hint of laughter “You are spending too much time with Sam. Can’t handle two sarcastic-pain-in-the-ass nerds”

Cas huffs a laughter and kisses dean on the cheek. Dean’s body warm and soft against the cold air that fills the room.

“You turning 50 doesn’t determine your beauty, Dean. Or whatever it is you are concerned about now”

“Not concerned just— yeah, whatever”Dean snorts, still staring at his reflection. His right hand follows the outlines of his appearance, a grimace holding his lips.

“It’s just...My belly. Always had defined abs, you know and now it’s all soft”

Cas looks at him for a while, light sighs filling the room. Dean seems to tighten from his gaze.

“I love your belly, Dean” Cas slowly murmurs, locking eyes with the other man’s reflection. “I like putting my head there at night when we read in silence or when you put a movie on. One of those movies you love so much. I like to plant kisses there, seeing you blush under my displays of affection”

Dean remains silent for a moment, then: “I don’t blush”

Cas rolls his eyes, a gesture he has learned from watching human behavior and that finds pretty useful when dealing with the winchesters. A smile tugs his lips.

He kisses Dean’s collarbone -once, twice- and feels Dean leaning in the embrace.

“My hair.. I-“

Cas doesn’t miss a beat: “Few and little grey hairs at your sides, on the top and back of your head. I have them too and I think they suit you. It seems to mark your stay on earth, Dean. When a new one grows it’s like a confirm you are here and you are okay. That we are okay, are we, Dean?”

Cas knows the answer. Has known for a long time now.

It’s in the way they look at each other at night, intimate and vulnerable, fingers intertwined and legs dangling from the bed.

It’s in the mornings and the silence they mutually share, in the walk towards the kitchen, sometimes alone founding the other already there, cup of coffee in their hands and another ready for them to drink; sometimes together, grumpy and slightly tired and so in love.

It’s in Dean’s ever so green eyes looking at him with ease, in their fights from time to time that leave them angry and sad and confused, hands still holding the other’s, it’s in the nightmares and the caring and the memories and the hope. it’s in everything they are and in nothing less than that.

“Of course we are, dumbass” Dean says, rolling his eyes. Then:”My-“

“Dean” Cas states "Turn around”

And Dean does. And Cas kisses him while he talks-every part he can reach.

“You have little crinkles forming at your eyes when you smile now. I love them, I love seeing them because I love seeing you smile and laugh and grin just like you do. I like your softness, your hair, your belly, the freckles that seem to have increased, your strays of grey hair. I love the scars you have that are healing. I hate that you have them, that you had to go through such sufference, but you have them and it’s okay, Dean. It’s okay to have them and to be reminded of how strong you were. Of how strong you are. I love everything about what makes you feel older in a way because to me, it’s a sign that this, all of this, is real, that this is happening, that you are aging and living your life just like you deserve to, that you are safe and, hopefully, happy and serene. And that you feel loved- There’s nothing I want more than that, I hope you know it. And more, more than anything, Dean, your soul is beautiful. Pure light shining and glowing every time I look at you, and I know you are judging yourself from just your physicality- It’s something humans tend to do, but oh, dean if they.. if you could just see how incredible and pure and clean and wonderful you really are.... if you could just see yourself once, just once from my perspective, see how I see you, how I perceive you. I will spend everyday I get to have on this planet telling you just how beautiful you are, Dean, until you can finally realize the beauty you hold into your heart. You are beautiful, Dean. Still and always. Absolutely ethereal and I am so deeply in love with you”

If Dean sheds some tears, that’s nobody’s business, but Cas holds him tightly then and there and talks to him, softly traces his body murmuring praises and Dean breaks and breaks and breaks. But he is with Cas. He is safe. He can let himself break.

“Dean.. I- Me growing older, it’s okay for you isn’t it?”Cas asks at some point. Silence stretching between them.

“There was never one, there’s no one and there will never be one I’d rather growing older with than you, Cas”

“Plus" Dean adds, grinning “I love your grey hair. Makes you look like a dilf.”

“Dean”

#deancas #destiel fic #destiel #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural #dean winchester #castiel #misha collins #jensen ackles #cockles #jenmish #spnfandom #spn #fanfic #otp #imagine your otp #castiel winchester

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