#and then there's jiang cheng my love absolutely sobbing SO OFTEN | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

robininthelabyrinth · 5 years ago

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I need to know what u think of an AU where JC is the one who dies (sacrificing his life to save WWX) instead of JYL, he’s not as angry with WWX bc JYL is still alive so when he sees his brother about to get murdered he just steps in front of him while JYL and WWX see :) I don’t even know what I want u to do with this? Give me some headcanons? Is it a prompt? Idk I just want u to to see what u make of this (I promise JC is my fav but my mind likes to make me suffer :p)

It wasn’t a matter of conscious thought when Jiang Cheng threw himself between that cultivator’s sword and Wei Wuxian’s unguarded back, all his defenses down in the face of Jiang Yanli’s pleading, same as always; it was just instinct. Wei Wuxian was always the troublemaker, the crazy one, and Jiang Cheng always the one being dragged along; he’d long ago learned to spend all his time watching his shixiong’s back, keeping him away from dogs, away from angry shopkeepers, away from any harm. It was instinct, just as it had been the day he’d thrown himself out into the street to distract the Wens, and he’d always justified that instinct because he knew that Wei Wuxian would do the same for him.

Though – he didn’t know that anymore, not after everything that happened recently. Wei Wuxian had made him all the promises in the world, to stand by his side through wind and lightning, and he’d seemed to have no issue abandoning those promises, picking the remnants of the Wen sect over the remnants of the Jiang sect without a moment’s hesitation and not even the courtesy of an explanation.

The Yiling Patriarch was all but a stranger to him, and Jiang Cheng still didn’t understand why.

So it was probably stupid of him to react as if the person being stabbed at was Wei Wuxian, not the Yiling Patriarch – stupid of him to give up his life for someone who didn’t care about him nearly as much as Jiang Cheng cared for him.

But that’s why it wasn’t a thought. It was instinct.

He heard someone scream “Jiang Cheng!” as if their heart were breaking, and he thought for a moment that it was Wei Wuxian again, the one who loved him best. Wei Wuxian, not the Yiling Patriarch, who threw him to the dogs over and over again, put his sect at risk of utter destruction a second time over, just to indulge himself and his bizarre fixation on saving the Wens at the expense of everyone else. Who didn’t care about their duty to their sect, to their parents - who didn’t care about him at all.

Jiang Cheng’s heart hurt. It was probably just the sword that’d just been driven through it, though.

Hands grasped at his clothing, pulling him back; his sister’s face had lost all blood, and Wei Wuxian looked as if his world had ended – he wasn’t sure why. Jiang Yanli had her son to care for, a new life in Lanling that she refused to abandon even if Jin Zixuan was now gone; Wei Wuxian had his Wens, his new cultivation – perhaps it was some little regret, far too late, for the Jiang sect that would now come to grief, leaderless, the end of their family line and the disappointment of their ancestors. Jiang Cheng’s final and most absolute failure.

Jiang Cheng looked at them both, the ones he loved the most and who had left him without a single glance backwards, and found with his last breath that he had nothing to say to them.

He closed his eyes so they wouldn’t have to.

The battlefield was full of corpses, and Jiang Yanli didn’t care about a single one of them.

“Do you think he can be brought back, the way Wen Ning was?” she asked, holding the corpse in her arms as if it were still the baby brother she sang songs to as a child, the little crybaby who was so fierce on the outside and so soft on the inside. She had been able to lie to herself with Jin Zixuan’s body – he almost looked as though he were sleeping, head on the pillow beside her own – but Jiang Cheng had never slept well in his life, his brow always furrowed as if he was worrying about something even in his dreams, and the blank peace on his face was so wrong that she couldn’t bear to look at him.

She wasn’t asking Wei Wuxian.

Wei Wuxian had only stopped the massacre when Lan Wangji, of all unlikely people, had bodily tackled him; everyone had always said that the Second Jade was like oil and water with her A-Xian, but he’d unexpectedly taken their side in this battle and was even now letting a barely-conscious Wei Wuxian sob Jiang Cheng’s name into his collar. He looked silently at her, his gaze a quiet reminder that her question was inappropriate – one Ghost General had already been enough to cause all of this tragedy, and certainly no one would ever accept another as a sect leader.

She looked steadily back at him, indicating in return that she didn’t give a damn about the standing of the Jiang sect if it meant she wouldn’t have to bury her baby brother.

Lan Wangji hesitated, looking down at Wei Wuxian. “You cannot stay at Yiling,” he finally said. “After this…”

They’d killed people from virtually every sect; no matter who had sympathized with Wei Wuxian before this or how much they felt he was wronged, they would have no choice but to raise up arms against him.

Jiang Yanli understood. They would be fugitives, condemned by all. She didn’t care. “Will you help us?”

He nodded and stood, Wei Wuxian cradled as gently in his arms as she held Jiang Cheng in hers.

“Will you come with us?” she asked. Anyone who loved her brother enough to defy his sect, to stain his untainted blade with the blood of his own kin, deserved a chance to court him properly, if she hadn’t misunderstood his intentions; she didn’t think she had, not with the expression so clear on his silent face.

“I will help you,” he said, and that wasn’t an answer, wasn’t the one she wanted, but it would have to do for now. “Let us go.”

It was Jin Zixuan who figured it out, oddly enough. Perhaps it was because he was an outsider, looking at the situation without affection to blur his eyes.

“You gave him your golden core,” he said, less than a week into his resurrection – Lan Wangji had been very efficient in his help, not only finding a new place to hide Jiang Yanli and the remaining Wens but also returning to Lanling to steal Jin Zixuan’s corpse and little Jin Ling before returning to his own sect at the first sign that Wei Wuxian would awaken from his coma. He hadn’t sent word since that time, whether from regret or other reasons; their only consolation was that there was no news of his death. “That’s why you couldn’t do anything other than demonic cultivation – is that right?”

Wei Wuxian looked at him through blood-red eyes. “Get lost,” he said; the phrase made up the majority of his vocabulary, these days, and because he refused to curse his shijie he mostly ended up not talking to her at all.

“Wen Qing was a famous doctor – she could have figured out a way to do it, and that would explain why you felt so indebted to them,” Jin Zixuan continued. “You never told him because you didn’t want to burden him. But instead you left him without any reason, any explanation: he must have felt that you abandoned him because you didn’t want him.”

“Get lost!”

“You broke his heart,” he said, and looked down at Jiang Cheng’s body – still perfectly preserved, but unmoving. The resurrection spell had already failed three times. “No wonder he doesn’t want to return.”

“I did it for him!” Wei Wuxian screamed, tears of blood dripping down his cheeks. “He didn’t – he wouldn’t – he has to come back!”

Jin Zixuan said nothing.

They ended up back in Yunmeng, rather unexpectedly; the new leadership of the Lotus Pier, a distant branch cousin who’d survived the massacre because he’d been night-hunting elsewhere, had all but begged Jiang Yanli to return. Against all odds her reputation had survived the massacre at the Nightless City; the loving wife, sister, and shijie that nearly sacrificed herself to save what lives she could and to banish the dreadful Yiling Patriarch who was never seen again from that day forth – she was very nearly regarded as an incarnation of the goddess of mercy.

She had no idea where that ridiculous notion came from, but it did mean that she could live in Lotus Pier again, with Jin Ling by her side – she’d told Jin Guangshan to name someone else as his heir, or at minimum as regent; the Jiang sect needed her and her son more. It wouldn’t have worked if Jin Zixuan hadn’t snuck into his mother’s room to convince Madam Jin to throw her support behind it; officially he was still in his tomb, since Lan Wangji had been very subtle, but in fact he lived within shouting distance of the Lotus Pier, spending his days playing with his son.

They all did, actually, the whole lot of them resettled into a tiny adjacent water town populated largely by civilians that relied on the Jiang sect for their prosperity. As long as Wei Wuxian never did anything, which he didn’t, the illusion that he was gone for good in a cloud of self-destruction after his terrible massacre could be maintained; no one expected they could possibly be so daring as to simply go home after all of it.

Lan Wangji was in seclusion, they were eventually told; Wei Wuxian hadn’t believed it for one second, smuggling himself into Gusu to check – he’d come back unconscious, slung over Jin Zixuan’s shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

“Struck by the discipline whip,” her husband, the fierce corpse that wasn’t fierce at all, said, and didn’t comment when she instinctively reached out to touch Jiang Cheng’s body, to trace the scar he had; she often spent her days next to the bed that preserved his corpse. “Many times; his body is ruined. It will take years for him to heal – the Lan sect saying he was in seclusion was their way of saving face. Wei Wuxian wants to bring him back to the Lotus Pier to hide him.”

Jiang Yanli rubbed her face, thinking not for the first time that the world would be an easier place if only her two brothers weren’t so stubborn. One who wouldn’t wake up, his spiritual consciousness all in pieces; the other who wouldn’t give up – “The Lan sect wouldn’t accept that.”

“He wasn’t planning on asking. That’s why I knocked him out. Anyway, they’re distracted with the Xue Yang matter now – my father’s still insisting on protecting him, and the Nie sect gets angrier about it by the day; without the Jiang sect, there’s only the Lan to play peacemaker, stop there from being another war.”

Jiang Yanli, who was very nice but also very much not the goddess of mercy, tilted her head to the side; something of her mother was in her eyes. “A war would be a good cover, though, or at least the rumblings of one. If we were going to steal Lan Wangji away from his sect, that is.”

He kissed her forehead. “I’ll sneak into Lanling to talk to my mother, maybe see if I can follow Xue Yang and see what he’s up to. You go talk to the Nie.”

Jiang Yanli’s visit to the Unclean Realm turned out to be more fruitful than anyone had expected. The moment she walked into Nie Mingjue’s receiving room, her Jiang sect bell rang so hard that it shattered, which it definitely hadn’t done during the war – they both stared at it wordlessly for a while.

Eventually, he cleared his throat, averting his eyes. “You know my family history,” he offered as an explanation, embarrassment at the public revelation of his problem already turning to anger but suppressed by his strict adherence to etiquette.

“That’s no family history,” she said, bemused, as she crouched down to poke at the pieces. “The silver bell of the Jiang sect can steady focus and calm the mind, and the ones made for the family are the strongest by far; it would only shatter like this in the effort to resist a spiritual poison…how are you feeling now, Sect Leader Nie?”

He considered for a long moment, and his face grew black with rage. “Better. I feel – like my mind has been filled with fog, and a clear breeze has blown it clear.”

She smiled up at him. “Perhaps you should visit Yunmeng.”

He scowled, and she realized he must know about Wei Wuxian’s presence, though she wasn’t sure how; despite that, in the end, after a roaring argument with Nie Huaisang in another room, he agreed to go, even if the idea of staying willfully blind clearly pained him to the core.

Jiang Yanli quietly approved of his decision to put family over principle.

When they put their mind to it, the Nie sect had an underrated talent for saying ‘I don’t know’ to just about everything. Neither brother blinked an eye at the Wen sect remnants that still teetered every time they went on a boat, very clearly not Yunmeng locals; they politely greeted Jin Zixuan as if he’d only been gone a while and not murdered; much to his older brother’s very evident irritation, Nie Huaisang even leapt over to give Wei Wuxian an enthusiastic hug while Nie Mingjue was still talking with Jin Zixuan about what it meant that Jin Guangshan had hidden away the still intact Wen Ning, who Jin Zixuan had found in a hidden part of Koi Tower during his most recent visit and immediately liberated.

“Definitely a case of spiritual poisoning,” Wei Wuxian said after a short examination, and the most reliable doctor they had left in the Jiang sect concurred. “The silver bell can help a little –”

They’d already shattered seven of them, but Nie Mingjue had actually cracked a smile for the first time in months, to hear a sobbingly relieved Nie Huaisang tell it.

“–but it can only help so much; that technique is really only meant for acute cases. And you really need to figure out what was doing the poisoning; there’s no point in curing you if you’re only going to get poisoned again.”

“A matter for a later time,” Nie Mingjue, who clearly had some suspicions that made him look as though he’d been stabbed in the back, said. “Now that we know it’s a poisoning, and my mind is clearer, I can take some action myself – the Nie have plenty of techniques to stabilize the spirit.”

Wei Wuxian’s smile was full of self-hatred, as it always was these days. “I don’t suppose any of those are designed to work on the dead.”

“Actually,” Nie Huaisang said. “Several are. Why do you ask?”

Jiang Cheng opened his eyes.

#mdzs #jiang cheng #wei wuxian #jiang yanli #lan wangji #nie mingjue #nie huaisang #jin zixuan #my fic #my fics #congrats!#you get a full ficlet #this one just wouldn't stop writing

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puppy-phum · 4 years ago

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for the character ask...OUR FAV BOY LIU SANG

(*´∇｀*)/💖

i had to come answer this one bc!! my son!!!! aaaaaaahhhh!!!!!! so thank you sob now i can talk about my second sour grape boy,,, wait. ok well, hissy kitten ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ spot the difference (you can’t)

give me a character

(placing this one under a cut too bc oh boy. i have things to say about liu sang)

How I feel about this character

Good lord. I feel so many ways about Liu Sang. He is absolutely amazing but he also just drives me insane every day. No other character has ever given me such headaches, he must be proud. Finally someone suffers as much as him (because I bet those ears cause him a permanent migraine). I feel sorry for him. I’ll take this pain gladly if it helps him in any way.

But well. As simply as with Jiang Cheng, I do love Liu Sang. I shouldn’t really be surprised (at this point) that I fell in love with him but back when I was watching Reboot, he hit me like a truck. Which,,, he probably drove that truck himself, judging from the way he was handling the car chase with Jiang Zisuan. Just ruthlessly drove me over. I never stood a chance, not in front of that arrogance and stubbornness and enormous puppy eyes.

And with all of himself, good and bad, he makes me feel so many things. One of those, probably the strongest one, is protectiveness. He needs someone to protect him from himself because he has a nasty self-destruction streak going. Boy has not known love since he was born. He has gone through way too much to try handle it alone. I can’t even remember how old he is supposed to be in Reboot (maybe 29?), but that is way too many years of fighting a battle he was never supposed to win. But he pulled through. Cynical and prickly and absolutely terrified of any human contact but he fucking pulled through. I want to fight some battles for him now. He deserves to rest. He deserves some peace and quiet and unconditional care. I want to tell him that he doesn’t deserve all the pain he’s going through, all the pain he himself is putting his body through because he thinks he can only be used as a punching bag. I want to tell him he deserves friends. I want to tell him that it’s okay to trust people again. I want to... just protect him. And maybe this is why – because of all this fragile mess I’ve discovered from inside of him while trying to figure out who he is – I struggle so much with writing him. I feel like I’m bringing up things no one is supposed to see. I feel like I’m pulling out words from him like teeth. But at the same time, I know he’s desperate to tell these things.

So I struggle because I love him. Willingly. But oh boy does he annoy me sometimes, under all that protectiveness and fondness I have for him.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

I am quite sure at this point that I don’t really ship Liu Sang with anyone. No one clicks with him in my head so well that I could feel myself slipping into the proper shipping territory. But I haven’t minded any of the ships I’ve seen for him, not Pingxiesang (which makes me super soft) or him with Kanjian (which is so sweet) or even @kholran’s pool noodle Risang (which is very interesting and I will read your fic, friend, when I am out of my Pingxie pit! I just need to feed these beasts first). I am mostly just very intrigued by all these ships people come up with because it really plays to my wish to just explore his dynamic with every other character that is available for him.

But to put it simply: Not one perfect match exists for him yet in my head. Let’s give boy some time to figure out freindships first.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Well, this one I love because! This is what he is all about for me, somehow. So I will mention three: Xiaoge, Bai Haotian, and Pangzi.

First, like I already mentioned in my Xiaoge answer, I adore Liu Sang’s dynamic with his ouxiang. They are both so damn awkward. I feel like I’m following a train wreck happening in slow motion any time I see them interact but instead of death and flames and screeching metal, it’s. surprisingly soft and sweet? They are both very tentative when it comes to people so they somehow get each other? Even if Liu Sang is a mess when it comes to Xiaoge which I totally get because I have once in my life met a person I consider a celebrity and who I look up to a lot and I was just shaking. And giggling. And acting dumbly. So I don’t blame Liu Sang for any of that; I’m actually quite proud that he’s keeping his cool so well and despite the rough start, manages to be a huge asset to his ouxiang. I am so happy that he gets to have this budding friendship with Xiaoge because they both need it.

Then! Bai Haotian. I’ve been thinking about them a lot lately and the more I rewatch some of their scenes together, the more I notice that they really develop a bond during Reboot. They are in a very similar position: brought in because of their idols, young, sometimes overlooked, struggling, and usually falling behind. And oh, definitely in need of some saving and with tragic backstories. They could be such amazing friends, and I think they come to trust and care for each other during their trip to Thunder City. Bai Haotian is so caring by nature and then Liu Sang is just right there. And Bai Haotian is so lowkey about her care; she doesn’t push if people don’t want her to, which works so well for Liu Sang. She’s there when needed. She doesn’t ask too much. She knows how it feels to look up to one of the members of the Iron Triangle and then curl your own life around them. (She also knows how it feels to have a crush on that same member and then notice that crush will never lead you anywhere, though I guess Bai Haotian comes to realize that during their trip instead of years before but well, details.) She doesn’t judge Liu Sang and somehow Liu Sang comes to rely on her a lot.

And last but not least (never the least!): Pangzi. God I adore these two to bits. Their banter is just *chef’s kiss* and when I look at them, all I can think about is a big dog trying to pat a hissing kitten with its paw. Which then turns to the kitten play fighting the dog’s big paw. And then getting tired. And falling asleep. While the huge dog just curls its body around the kitten to keep it warm, and maybe the kitten swats at the dog slightly for show but actually it enjoys it. Because it’s nice and soft and very warm. So yes, I love it how Pangzi and Liu Sang start off as enemies but come to care for each other. I cry about the peanut scene every day. Yes please adopt this poor stray kitten, he deserves a loving home ;; Give him food and a blanket and maybe he will hiss a little less (Pangzi also gives great hugs and Liu Sang deserves a dozen. For starters.)

My unpopular opinion about this character

Once again I am at a loss with this. I don’t really know what this fandom thinks about Liu Sang? I feel like our tiny Liu Sang hyping corner here on tumblr is very much unified with the opinions. We all love him a lot and want the best for him, case closed. So maybe I’ll just talk about my hypersensitivity headcanon for him? Let me do that for fun haha

So, I know he’s sensitive to sounds. Understandable, with his skills. And I feel bad for him for that because it must be horrible at times (we get introduced to him through him vomiting because he can’t handle a train station with all the noise, christ) but I also somehow relate to that. I get sensitive to sounds sometimes too. A simple click of my mouse can be annoying at times. I require absolute silence quite often, and this intensifies if my emotions are on the negative side. So, somehow I’m taking things from that. Touch hurts when he’s feeling bad about himself. Noises annoy him when he’s angry or scared. Lights look too bright or he feels like he can’t focus his gaze when he’s sad or panicking. Smells and tastes are intensified when he’s stressed. I dunno, just simple little things. Him feeling through his senses. Him just generally being sensitive with his feelings because this world is a demanding place and pushes you into feeling things. And I feel like a lot about him is already tied to his hearing so why not his feelings too? I’ve read so many nice takes on him which somehow support this so I feel like this just fits right in.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

Liu Sang joins the final celebration!! Him just disappearing doesn’t make sense at all!!!! Let him get hugs!!! Let him be happy!!!! Oh my god. I was so mad about that and still am because no way did he just leave and not join his new friends for this final evening!!! Dammit. No matter how much he feels like he doesn’t belong and like he’s just “a hired talent” among them, he’s not that dull!! He got those damn peanuts and some hugs and shoulder pats from people, he was there saving the day, he managed to create bonds!!! And god, knowing Wu Xie, he would never allow Liu Sang to think that lowly of himself!!!! He would be there to offer Liu Sang the world if he wants it!! Gaaaahhhh

So yeah, give Liu Sang his moment with his new family or I am throwing something, for fuck’s sakes

thank you again for sending me these asks ♥ i’ll answer the rest during these next few days! you’re amazing!!

#i would give him my right arm #or my lungs #if he asked #so here take my blabberings #also gonna tag this as #liu sang #bc i know ppl out there love him #and we like to see each other blabber lol

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gusu-emilu · 4 years ago

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33: How Do You Feel About Lan Qiren, 5: Biggest WTF moment, 15: Any Ship You Like Besides WangXian, 24: _____ has a ______ kink : ) You might notice a general trend here

From this ask game

33. How do you feel about Lan Qiren?

My actual answer:

Would 100% blow in his eye. His day-to-day attire and superhero costume are both excellent. He’s a little caught up on the rules, but a nice rugged lawless man called Wen Ruohan can help him with that. He’s at his finest and most elegant when pages from Nie Huaisang’s porn book are stuck to his back

My actual actual answer:

He’s okay. I think he’s a little stressed, and he has good reason to be, given how his brother turned out and how he was probably unprepared to take on so much responsibility all of a sudden. He’s doing his best. Even though he falls over quite often. He cares a lot about his clan and his nephews, tries to keep things orderly and stable, and I respect that. A bit of a stick in the mud, but he’s fun to make fun of, and I think he’d be an interesting character to explore more pre-canon regarding his relationships with his family members.

5. Biggest WTF moment

This isn’t a very entertaining answer, but I have two very similar moments.

First of all, I’m still caught up on how Meng Yao got stabbed in the gut by Wen Zhuliu to save Nie Mingjue, and then after that he was fine. Just fine! Waltzing around and making puppy dog eyes at Da-Ge and being all sentimental with Huaisang! Like, dude! You should be dying!! I’m very bothered by this lmao

Second is in Guanyin Temple when Xichen stabs Guangyao and they’re having their cursed soulmate sobbing crisis, and then also when Guangyao pushes him out of the way when they are about to die together. Okay A-Yao. Okay, I get it. You’re a drama queen and you have some complex for getting stabbed and pushing people out of the way at the same time as you’re carrying out your evil plans. That scene was just absolute whiplash. A-Yao is wild, man

15. Any ship you like besides Wangxian

My actual answer: Wen Chao x his plumber. With some Bingchen (Lan Xichen x Liebing) on the side

My actual actual answer: Chengning 😍

24. _____ has a _____ kink

My actual answer:

Xue Yang has a vegetable kink. Daozhang is his big white radish! He loves chopping sexy vegetables (and cute fruit) in the kitchen for Daozhang.

My actual actual answer:

*throws hands on table* JIANG CHENG HAS A PRAISE KINK

(it’s funny I’m saying this because in the fic I’m currently writing this is the opposite of what happens lol. next time. in the next fic.)

Thanks for the ask!

#ask game #emilu talks

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rosethornewrites · 4 years ago

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Fic: the thing with feathers, ch. 15

Additional Tags: Transmigration, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It, Illnesses, Family, Scars, Memory Loss, Angst, Crying, Music, Nosebleed, Fear, Recovery, Nightmares, Sharing a Bed, Flirting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Good Parent Yú Zǐyuān, Referenced Sexual Slavery, Blood and Gore, Monsters, Sexual Tension, betrothal

Summary: Wangji speaks for himself. Wei Ying wakes. Communication ensues.

Notes: I might be wrong on this, but when I rewatched The Untamed with my mom, it seemed the town was named Lotus Pier and the sect grounds and Jiang home were named Lotus Cove, which is why I’ve been differentiating the two here. Even though yuanfen is often associated with the red thread, it isn’t always associated with romance. It’s not even fate, really, as that implies a higher power. It’s simply fateful coincidence and often simply associated with good or bad luck. In this case, it’s a potential relationship—whether friendship or more, Lan Wangji isn’t really thinking about right now. He just believes that his second meeting with Wei Wuxian means they are meant to have import in each other’s lives, and he wants very badly to protect him.

AO3 link

Chapter 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14

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Wangji felt like he had been in a daze since Wei Ying had abruptly gotten a nosebleed and panicked when he was talking to an older Jiang disciple. When he had tried to take his friend to the healer, he insisted on being taken to Madam Yu instead.

As improbable as it seemed, Wei Ying’s vision of a monster yao had apparently been correct, the adults had informed him when they returned. And it put him in danger.

He was disappointed to have missed the practical lesson shufu had given on the proper disposal of yao corpses, but he would rather be at Wei Ying’s side.

Wei Ying was still unconscious, and Wangji was aware of the conversations happening around him despite the daze, as they tried to determine how best to protect him—if he truly had precognitive visions, Madam Yu argued, he would be seen as an asset to acquire by certain other clans.

Madam Yu’s arguments regarding his protection made sense, particularly official adoption, and though shufu was balking and displeased with her second idea, it too was truly logical, could throw off any suspicion from the Sun that saw all, could protect Wei—or rather, Jiang Ying.

And what if Wei Ying’s dream of being cast into Luanzang Gang… What if that was a premonition? The place was warded and managed by the Wen sect, after all. If they wanted him and could not have him, would that be the result?

If he could do anything to prevent that from coming to pass, he would.

Shufu was turning angry colors, seeming to be too overcome to speak properly, starting and stopping and sputtering when Madam Yu countered his half-formed objections, completely unruffled.

“I agree,” he said firmly—during a pause, so as not to interrupt.

“Wangji!”

Shufu looked outraged, and Wangji wondered if he had been expected to stay silent on the matter. Madam Yu, on the other hand, looked pleased.

“I want to help him,” Wangji insisted. “I wish to help prevent his nightmare from coming to pass.”

He could see from the stricken look on the adults’ faces that they knew what he was referring to. Wangji was glad he didn’t have to elaborate further, and that they understood the gravity of his concern. For a moment, there was dead silence as they digested the idea, but he was also unsurprised when his uncle spoke again against the idea of betrothal.

“You’re too young to—”

“A-Li has been betrothed since she was a toddler,” Madam Yu cut in swiftly, what little patience she had spent. “I only hope her betrothed doesn’t grow to become as egregious a pig as his father. I trust my sworn sister will do her best with him.”

Wangji couldn’t help but gape, unused to gossip in general and absolutely shocked to hear such words about a major sect leader.

“A-Ying is kind and intelligent,” she continued, unfazed. “Don’t tell me you disapprove of him because the mother he doesn’t even remember once shaved your beard off as you slept.”

The statement seemed to hang in the air. Shufu was turning an alarming color, and Wangji couldn’t help contemplating what he would look like without his beard.

All told, it was probably for the better that they were interrupted by Wei Ying waking, though the fact that he woke with a scream and immediately started sobbing was more than a little upsetting. It took time for the Jiangs to calm him down, for Madam Yu to assure him no one died, that he had done the right thing telling her so they could take down the yao without anyone being hurt.

“Perhaps you should tell us what you ‘saw,’” shufu said once Wei Ying was calm.

“It was big, and like a dragon, but not like a dragon,” Wei Ying started. “Like a snake, maybe?”

He remembered only that about the creature. His san-shixiong had grabbed him and Jiang Wanyin, propelled them to shore with a burst of spiritual energy, and had been promptly eaten by the yao.

“It bit him in half,” Wei Ying said, his voice trembling. “And then it started killing the others.”

He lapsed into silence, his jaw trembling.

“I ordered the disciples out of the water,” Madam Yu told him. “Your shushu and I battled it with Jinzhu and Yinzhu on the river. San-shixiong is fine, as is everyone else.”

She patted him on the shoulder, clearly trying to comfort him.

“You did the right thing, A-Ying,” she said. “You kept them safe. Now we need to keep you safe.”

Wei Ying blinked, his eyes darting as he processed that.

“Because I saw,” he said eventually. “People will want that.”

Madam Yu nodded, looking pleased that he understood.

“I’m sorry for bringing trouble, shenshen.”

The smile disappeared, her face tight and downcast for a moment. Wei Ying’s words hurt her, but Wangji didn’t understand how.

“A-Ying, you can trust that your shushu and I will handle any trouble. You are not at fault.”

The boy nodded, but still looked uncertain, as though he wasn’t sure whether to believe it wasn’t his fault.

Jiang Fengmian seemed to sense that, and patted Wei Ying’s head.

“A-Ying, we decided the best way to protect you is to officially adopt you into the Jiang clan.”

“As our son,” Madam Yu added. “And A-Lian as our daughter.”

“It won’t be unfilial?” Wei Ying asks softly after a moment. “My mama and baba… Would they be mad at me?”

The Jiangs looked startled at the question, but Wangji understood.

Shufu almost fulfilled the role of a father for him, but his true father was still alive, though he’d never met him that he could remember. So to refer to shufu as such would be unfilial; even if his father was dead, it could be unfilial.

“Your father,” Sect leader Jiang started hoarsely, and had to clear his throat before continuing. “Your father was my sworn brother, and I loved him as though he was my blood brother.”

“If you would be more comfortable continuing to refer to us as shenshen and shushu, rather than a-niang and a-die, you may,” Madam Yu told him. “Legally you would be our son, to protect you, but we wouldn’t be replacing your mama and baba.”

Wei Ying nodded, biting his lip.

“It’s just… I forgot them—everything about them. I don’t want them to be hungry ghosts.”

Yu Ziyuan gathered him to her, and he let out a soft sob.

Wangji couldn’t imagine forgetting his mother, who had been one of the brighter points of his life until her death. Wei Ying, as a homeless orphan in Yiling, had smiled so much like her. Back then, he could remember his parents. Now they were lost to the void where his memories once were.

“You didn’t lose your memory on purpose,” Jiang Yanli offered softly. “I’m sure they wouldn’t blame you for that.”

“They will not be hungry, A-Ying,” Madam Yu murmured to him. “Their tablets are in the ancestral hall for you to leave offerings and burn joss paper whenever you wish. We are not replacing them. Fengmian and I can tell you stories of them, if you wish. And Lan Qiren was acquainted with your mother and may be willing to share stories as well.”

“The stories may help you remember,” Wangji added.

“Maybe a-die and a-niang can draw them, too,” Jiang Cheng said. “I bet that would help.”

Wei Ying sniffled and nodded, his nose running as he seemed to fight the urge to cry. Wangji pulled a cloth from his sleeve and handed it to him and received a watery smile.

That seemed to remind Yu Ziyuan of the other part of the plan.

“It’s possible this is just the effect of the resentful energy still in your mind,” she said. “Learning the songs of the Lan and further help from them might make it fade. To avoid suspicion about why you will spend time in Gusu, you will be betrothed to Lan-er-gongzi.”

“When you are older it can be dissolved,” shufu added.

Wangji watched for Wei Ying’s reaction, feeling oddly uncertain—after all, it was an unusual arrangement, and he might not welcome it—but when Wei Ying turned to him, it seemed like his own uncertainty was reflected back.

“I don’t want to prevent you from meeting your fated one, Lan Zhan,” he said softly. “You don’t have to if you’re uncomfortable.”

“I already agreed. Our meeting again was yuanfen, and I wish to help protect you,” he assured him. “It is no burden.”

He knew Wei Ying often saw himself as a burden, or at least referred to himself as one. He always seemed conscious of how much he was relying on others, always seemed to try to make up for it. Wangji wanted him to know he was not a burden, not trouble, not anything other than worthy of protection.

“You’ll let me know if it is?” Wei Ying asked solemnly. “Like Lan-xiansheng said, we can dissolve it later.”

“It will not be a burden,” Wangji insisted. “But if I am wrong, I will tell you. But you also must tell me.”

Wei Ying smiled, strangely wistful.

“Ah, Lan Zhan. You’re so good.”

“W—Jiang Ying is also good.”

It was hard not to think of him as Wei Ying, but Wangji would do his best to adjust. His friend looked startled at the name, then smiled almost bashfully.

“You can call me A-Ying,” he said softly. “If it’s easier.”

Wangji knew friends often referred to each other, and he nodded, happy that he considered them close.

“Then you may call me A-Zhan,” he said.

No one aside from occasionally xiongzhang called him so informally, but he thought it would be acceptable if it was A-Ying.

Shufu, he noticed, watched their exchange, stroking his beard thoughtfully.

“Madam Yu’s idea is that the two of you will act as second in command to both sects, according to the betrothal contract,” Lan Qiren says. “Half of the year in Yunmeng, half in Gusu.”

“Thus you will have an excuse to receive further treatment in Gusu and to learn more musical cultivation that may help,” Madam Yu added.

Jiang Fengmian reached forward, patting A-Ying’s arm.

“We will negotiate the terms, but only if you’re okay with it, A-Ying,” he said. “People may say rude things.”

A-Ying seemed surprised to be asked, but he nodded.

“I know people might be weird since it’s a cutsleeve betrothal, but people find something to be weird about all the time. I’m fine with it if A-Zhan is.”

“I am,” Lan Zhan said.

“Excellent,” Madam Yu said, looking pleased. “We will discuss this with your uncle and draw up terms. But first we will perform the adoption rites and announce you and A-Lian as Jiang.”

Wangji understood she meant letters would later be sent out to the rest of the gentry later about their betrothal. Though he preferred not to be the object of gossip, he understood the betrothal announcement would concretely ally Gusu Lan and Yunmeng Jiang and serve as protection for A-Ying. He would manage somehow.

A soft knock on the door prevented any further conversation, and Madam Yu dispelled the silencing talisman. She opened the door to reveal a servant, and the scent of food wafted in, making his mouth water. It was long past dinner now.

The servant bowed.

“Madam Yu, the townspeople learned of the yao. Some witnessed the battle. The businesses came together and delivered food as thanks. We are serving the disciples as well.”

Several more servants entered the room, efficiently clearing the table and setting up far more communal dishes than normal. It was clear that the food was from both restaurants and the Lotus Cove kitchen, and so the array was much more varied than most meals. He did notice that there were far fewer dishes from the Jiang kitchens, and realized the yao attack had likely even interrupted dinner preparations by the servants, making the gift from the townspeople all the more apt and appreciated.

Sect Leader Jiang murmured about reimbursing the restaurants to the ranking servant who had knocked, and the rest of the Jiangs moved to the table while he did. Wangji offered a hand to A-Ying to help him out of bed, and they went together.

Many of the dishes were heavy with spice, but Jiang Yanli was already putting together a bowl of rice and lesser-spiced dishes, which she handed to him with a smile. Xiongzhang and shufu were filling their own bowls in a similar manner, while A-Ying filled his with a base of noodles almost fiery-looking with spice and other dishes that were tinted red, orange, and yellow with spice, then settled on a cushion a little away from the table.

Aside from the sound of utensils on porcelain, the room was unusually silent, everyone focused on eating after so much energy was expended on the yao. Where normally the Jiangs chattered during supper, the meal was almost as quiet as those in Gusu. It felt odd, as Wangji had become accustomed to listening to the conversations around him, even if he didn’t participate in them.

Wangji settled beside him to eat, quietly considering what should be done to make A-Ying comfortable in his visits to Gusu, and the first thing on his list was acquiring spices and spicy condiments from the Lotus Pier market. His friend would find the fare at Cloud Recesses entirely too bland, but he wanted him to enjoy Gusu as much as he had come to enjoy Yunmeng.

Perhaps he should ask Jiang Yanli to teach him recipes, as well.

Mind set, he focused on eating, taking comfort in the warmth of his friend beside him.

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drwcn · 5 years ago

Text

haha this kid has it hard. There is not a single functional romance in this entire family. None. I wrote a little something :) I do take prompts, I just might not be very timely to respond, depending on my inspiration reserve and work schedule/exams etc. Again, btsf!verse (or post btsf!verse if you will, that’s where my brain is at these days), but can be read independently. Hope you don’t mind.

Warning: this is a fluff piece but a servant gets slapped in this. she is a minor, a trope frequently scene in historical dramas and traditional households.

When Jin Ling was seven years old, he developed his first crush. In the many years to come, he would develop many crushes - pretty girls, tall boys - but his first crush was on one of Jinlintai’s servant’s daughter, an older girl with shiny braids and soft dark eyes. And because he liked her, he found all sorts of reasons to see her (read: pester, command, annoy).

Jin Ling was a menace, and xiao-Rui had up until this point in time tolerated his behaviour, but this last straw was the one that finally broke the camel’s back.

Clack!

Jin Ling didn’t know the right vocabulary for it yet, but an older him would reflect on this as the moment he “fucked up”. The yin’er congee splattered across the marble floor and up the hem of his brocade robes, staining it. Beside the upturned cherry-wood tray, the jade bowl and ivory spoon laid in pieces.

Oops.

Jin Ling wouldn’t have panicked, because truly this was no big deal. He was sure the kitchen had lots of other bowls and could whip up another congee in no time. But then xiao-Rui slowly knelt down, curled up into a ball and began to cry.

Jin Ling felt all the calm instantly evaporate from his small seven year old body. Oh no! Crying girl?! What to do, what to do, what to do????

What did father do when mother cried??? Ah heck, what was he thinking? Mother didn’t cry. Crying was beneath Mother.

“What’s going on here?” A harsh voice echoed from down the hall. Jin Ling blinked, surprised. Nobody here ever dared use that tone of voice with him. At Lotus Pier maybe, he and his little sister Jiang Rao would get reprimanded for being particularly naughty, but that was usually their mother and she never needed to raise her voice to put the fear of immortals in them. Jin Ling swallowed nervously, looking over his shoulder, praying that Jiang Yanli didn’t somehow magically transport herself from Yunmeng to appear behind him.

She didn’t. Thank the gods.

From spring to fall of every year, Jin Ling spent his time at Lanling under the care of his uncle Lianfang-zun who he would one day succeed. After several months, Jin Ling had come to realize that his Uncle A-Yao was itching to spoil him due to having no children of his own. This meant outside of his daily lessons in cultivation and etiquette (sprinkled with just a little bit of politics), Jin Ling was allowed to run wild, something he was rarely allowed to do at his a-niang’s Lotus Pier unless his a-die championed on his behalf. Jiang Yanli was a gentle mother, sweet, soft-spoken, and loving. But everyone under the sun with half a brain knew Sect Master Jiang was a woman made out of diamond, forged by the war, beautiful and unbreakable. Up against her, even with his father and his two uncles backing him up, Jin Ling had no chance.

The voice that called out belonged to an older woman, a momo, neatly attired in pale orange and earth brown - servant’s colours - with her grey streaked hair tightly coiffed back into a severe bun. She walked briskly, back straight and face grim, until she came all the way up to them and their mess. [momo - an older female servant]

Once she saw who he was, she quickly relaxed her posture and curtsied deeply, “shizi*, shao-gongzi*, I apologize on behalf of the servants for not tending to your needs that you must trouble yourself to come down to the lower units. What may I do for you? What has this undisciplined yatou done to upset you?” [1)shizi = heir, 2)shao-gongzi = young master, 3)yatou = girlie, referring to a young girl, or a servant girl].

Jin Ling blinked, much confused. Surely, he was the one causing the upset. He certainly wasn’t the one crying.

“Uh....”

“Oh no, you stupid girl, that’s Qin-zhangshi’s yin’er congee and her favourite bowl!” The momo yelled angrily. [zhangshi 长事 - head of staff]

Qin-zhangshi? Oh yes, that was his aunt Qin Su, Jinlintai’s Head of Staff who handled all the internal affairs. This would be the duty of the Lady of Lanling if his uncle A-Yao had had a wife, but he didn’t, hence the burdening of his only sister to rise to the task.

“Zhao-momo, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to -” xiao-Rui squeaked as Zhang-momo pulled her up by the ear. A second later, a loud clap was heard and she cried out in pain. Zhao-momo had slapped her soundly across the cheek, leaving red to bloom where her hand had been.

That jostled Jin Ling out of his trance. “Hey!” He exclaimed, using all the power of his seven-year-old barely-cultivated body to shove the momo out of the way.

After that he barely remembered what he did.

Qin Su was having an exceptionally good day. Jinlintai for once was running like a well-oiled machine, so much so that she felt in the mood to call for a bowl of yin’er congee as a mid-afternoon snack. It was one of her favourite treats...but it was taking a rather longer time than usual to get here.

Before she could ring to see what was the hold up, the door to her study burst open, revealing her seven-year-old nephew, a servant girl he dragged by the hand, and a flustered Zhao-momo, the supervisor of the kitchen staff.

The front of Jin Ling’s robe was ruined by a large patch of food stain - congee from the looks of it. The girl, sobbing, had clearly been struck, and Zhao momo....

Qin Su took one long hard look at the situation and was instantly reminded of what Jin Zixuan had been like at this age. As Qin Cangye’s daughter, she had crossed path with him frequently all her life. She wasn’t quite sure how Meng Yao might’ve behaved at seven, and xiao-Yu had always been too timid for a Jin, but this...this had Zixuan’s bullshit all over it. Though, Qin Su internally rolled her eyes, even without his father, Jin Ling had plenty of bad examples to learn from:

Jiang Cheng, for one, never outgrew awkward, not with the way he still stared at Wen Qing every cultivation conference. At least it was difficult for most people to discern between his deathly stare of murder and his thirsty stare of sexual frustration.

Wei Wuxian and Hanguang-jun, as saccharine and grossly in love as they were now, only learned to communicate after one of them faked their death for a year.

xiao-Yu visited Qinghe every month and stayed for most of it. Qin Su never asked him what he did there, and frankly she didn’t want to know.

As for a-Yao, if Zewu-jun didn’t do more than play his goddamn instruments and talk about philosophy every time he invited A-Yao to Cloud Recesses, Qin Su was afraid her poor brother would soon physically combust.

Thus, with the full fondness of a doting aunt and the exasperation and wisdom of a woman who once almost married her own brother, Qin Su said, “A-Ling, my sweet dear, that is not how you treat a lady, and certainly not how you treat a lady you like.” Jin Ling dropped the girl’s hand like a hot potato. “San-gugu! I don’t - that’s not - I mean - I -” [san-gugu = third auntie] While she left the boy sputtering, Qin Su turned to the older servant. “Zhao-momo, you may return to your duties. You’re an efficient supervisor; I’ve always liked that about you, but if I hear of you hitting another one of the girls again, you and I will have words, am I clear?” “Yes, Qin-zhangshi. Of course, of course.” Zhao-momo backed out the room and fled. Softening her tone, Qin Su waved the girl over. “Come, child, come closer and let me take a look. My, you are pretty one. Now, now no more tears, or you’ll redden those lovely eyes. Oh geez,” she clicked her tongue as she tilted the girl’s face to examine it. “It’s a bit swollen. Luoti,” She looked to her handmaid. “Bring her down to get some ice and ah...some cream. For the inflammation.” “Yes, ma’am. Come on, xiao-Rui.”

“Thank you Qin-zhangshi! Thank you Qin-zhangshi!” Luoti led xiao-Rui away, shutting the door behind them with a click. Jin Ling, shame-faced and embarrassed, stood before his only aunt with his head bowed low. “Gugu...you’re not - you’re not going to tell a-niang on me are you?” His uncle never tattled. If Jin Ling did anything wrong, Uncle A-Yao would give him a stern talking to that would often turn to a long boring lecture. But then after, Uncle A-Yao would simply have a word with his a-die, and his a-die would just give him another Jin-styled talking to and then brush the whole thing under the rug so his a-niang would never find out. (She still does though, more than half the time, like goddamn magic.) Now his gugu, his gugu was the best, the absolute best, and he’s yet to receive any kind of reprimand from her.

Well there’s a first time for everything - as his da-jiujiu would say.

Qin Su rose from her dais, came up to him and lifted his down-turned chin so he could look her. “A-Ling. Are you going to tell me what happened?” “Uhm....” “Hm?” “Will you tell mother? I promised her I would be good.” And I haven’t been.

“Of course I will. She is your mother and deserves to know about your well-being. But, remember this: honesty will grant you forgiveness, but dishonesty will only see to punishment. Your a-niang has always been fair with you and your sister, hasn’t she?”

The boy visibly sagged. “I was bothering xiao-Rui. And I made her drop her tray. The congee spilled everywhere and the bowl broke,” confessed Jin Ling.

“And why did you do that?”

“Because...”

“Because?”

Jin Ling grumbled something incoherent.

Qin Su sighed. Taking his hand, she said, “Let’s get you changed, my love. And then after, you and I will have a long talk. Don’t worry, it’s not one of your Uncle A-Yao’s boring lectures. If you’re good, maybe we can go to town and I’ll let you pick out an apology gift for poor xiao-Rui. How does that sound?”

Jin Ling nodded fervently, his smile wide.

Qin Su chuckled, thinking that while her generation may have been thoroughly fucked over by the circumstances of their youth, there was no need to continue that tradition. Not when the times have been so peaceful. Tonight, she will write to her lovely sister-in-law who will surely have a good laugh over her son’s antics.

#cql #the untamed #qin su #jin ling #jin rulan #peaceful times #btsf #post btsf #corie prompt replies #corie fics #character fic

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enbyleighlines · 5 years ago

Note

Modern au drabble prompt - some sort of family celebration with the 'jin' sibs? I really liked the idea of them getting to grow up together in this version (no im not still crying over how they all ended in canon sssshhhhhh)

Absolutely! I would be delighted to write about the Jin siblings!

I also am always crying over how they ended up in canon! I just want good things for all of them! Jin Zixuan, especially, deserves all the love

I hope you enjoy this little Jin sib drabble~

—

Tonight, the Ouyang-Meng-Luo-Mo family is hosting a graduation celebration. More specifically, they’re celebrating Mo Hou earning a two-year university degree. At age 16, she had gotten pregnant, dropped out of high school, and got kicked out of her home, only to be taken in by her abusive older half-sister.

Now, seven years later, Mo Hou is celebrating her triumph over all the tragedies of her past. It involves a lot of wine and karaoke, and other things that thirteen-year-old Jin Zixuan doesn’t quite understand the appeal of.

This is why he is hunkered in the next room over, with his three siblings, and the three Jiang siblings.

They’re attempting to play a game of monopoly. It’s a little hard to concentrate, though, with all the whooping and hollering going on in the living room.

Still, there’s something comforting about the routine. The seven of them have become their own entity over the course of the last three years, like a street gang of child hooligans, but for the suburbs.

Jin Zixuan is the leader, although he’s only the second oldest. Jiang Yanli, who is the actual oldest, allows him to be in charge, because she has a crush on him.

Third oldest is Wei Wuxian, Jiang Yanli’s adoptive brother. Only five days younger is Jiang Cheng, Jiang Yanli’s brother by blood. Both of the boys are twelve, the same age as Meng Yao, Jin Zixuan’s first half-brother.

Second youngest is eleven year old Qin Su, Jin Zixuan’s half-sister. And last is little Mo Xuanyu, Jin Zixuan’s second half- brother, who is only nine.

Jiang Yanli is keeping track of the rules and the paper money.

Jin Zixuan is winning. It’s not like he has tough competition. Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng are playing as one team, and they keep making risky decisions that come back to bite them in the butt. Meng Yao and Qin Su make up another team, and they’re not taking any risks at all.

Mo Xuanyu is also technically on Jin Zixuan’s team, but he isn’t contributing anything to the game. He just silently clings to Jin Zixuan’s side like a baby koala.

After being sent to jail for a third time, Jiang Cheng loses his infamous temper. He attempts to throw his team’s stack of money down at the board, which only causes it to scatter every which way. “This game sucks,” he snaps, “Let’s play something else!”

“A-Cheng,” Jiang Yanli chastises, “There’s no reason to make a mess.”

“You’re such a sore loser,” Jin Zixuan says to Jiang Cheng, and then to Jiang Yanli, “You baby him too much.”

Both Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian bristle at that, equally offended.

Qin Su is already moving to tidy up the mess of papers. She hums as she works, a habit of stress masquerading as ditziness. “It’s okay,” she assures everyone, “It’s just a game. I was getting bored, anyway.”

“Always playing the peacemaker, A-Su,” Meng Yao teases, but he moves to help her sort the paper bills.

But Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian, ever the spoiled little brats, aren’t mollified.

“You think Jiejie babies us too much?” Jiang Cheng asks, in a low, threatening tone. “Or do you just not understand how being an older sibling works?”

“Jiang Cheng!” Yanli gasps.

Hot blood fills Jin Zixuan’s face. Unexpectedly, Jiang Cheng has hit something of a sore spot for him. He finds himself standing up.

Mo Xuanyu retreats, pressing closer to Meng Yao.

“That’s real mature,” Jin Zixuan says, “making fun of my family situation.” He feels the beginning of tears prickle his eyes, but he blinks them away. “How dare you.”

“A-Cheng, apologize!”

Jiang Cheng does not apologize. He gets to his own feet. “I wasn’t making fun of your family situation,” he doubles down, “I’m saying that you don’t know anything about being an oldest sibling!”

“Jiang Cheng has a point,” Wei Wuxian puts in, always coming to his adoptive brother’s side, “If Jiejie babies us, it’s only because she loves us!”

“Okay, okay, that’s enough,” Jiang Yanli desperately tries to calm everyone down.

“Are you saying I don’t love my siblings?” The words leave Jin Zixuan’s mouth before he can think them through. “Just— just because I don’t treat them like babies?”

“What’s going on in there?”

That comes from Yu Ziyuan, the Jiang siblings’s mother. She’s standing in the doorway, glowering in at all of them. Her rage does not discriminate between innocent and guilty, does not give a damn about “who started it”.

Everyone falls silent under her watchful eyes.

The silence is Yu Ziyuan’s desired reaction. She quirks a small, satisfied smile and says, “Good. That’s what I like to hear.” And then she leaves to rejoin the party.

But Jin Zixuan is still hurting. He gives the monopoly board a kick and rushes off down the hall towards his room.

Once there, he slams the door and throws himself onto his bed. He can’t stop the floodgates this time. Tears and snot gush liberally from his face as he sobs as hard as he can without making noise.

He can’t let the Jiang brothers hear him. They’ll never stop teasing him if they find out he’s crying like a baby.

It’s not his fault, he thinks to himself. He’s only been an oldest sibling for four years. Before then, he was an only child. Why should he know how being a sibling works?

But even to himself, it just sounds like a lame excuse. Meng Yao, Qin Su, and Mo Xuanyu are all in the same boat, but they all act like they’ve been siblings since birth. They like each other. They already have nicknames for each other, like A-Su, Yu-er, Er-gege, and A-jie.

Jin Zixuan presses his palms to his eyes and heaves noiseless, wet breaths into his bed sheets.

Maybe Jiang Cheng is right, he thinks. Maybe he isn’t meant to be an oldest sibling. Maybe he doesn’t know what that means. Maybe... maybe his siblings don’t even like him.

Jin Zixuan is only barely calming down when, ten minutes later, there is a tentative knock at his door.

Oh great, Jin Zixuan thinks. That must be Jiang Yanli.

She’s such a silly girl, with such an annoying, obvious crush. It gives Jin Zixuan second-hand embarrassment whenever he talks to her. It’s the last thing he needs.

But then a voice speaks through the door, and it’s not Jiang Yanli’s voice.

“Zixuan? Zixuan, can we come in?”

The voice belongs to Meng Yao, of all people. And... did he say ‘we’?

“Who’s we?” Jin Zixuan demands.

“Me, and A-Su, and Yu-er,” Meng Yao replies, “Just us three.”

His three siblings. Jin Zixuan hurriedly wipes his face dry on a pillow, and then tosses the soiled pillow aside. He sits on the edge of the bed, and steels his expression. “Come in.”

Meng Yao opens the door, and Qin Su and Mo Xuanyu rush forward. They both leap up onto Jin Zixuan’s bed, and huddle up close on either side, sandwiching him.

“You’re not a bad Da-gege,” Qin Su speaks first, “Jiang Cheng was wrong to say you’re a bad big sibling.”

Jin Zixuan freezes at the term. Qin Su usually only ever uses it at her mother’s insistence. Usually, he’s just plain old Jin Zixuan to her. Maybe ‘Zixuan’ by itself, if he’s lucky.

The sudden fear that Qin Su is being inauthentic crawls up Jin Zixuan’s spine. He pushes her away, but softly. “Since when do you call me ‘Da-gege’?”

Meng Yao heaves a great big sigh. “See, this is what Jiang Cheng meant.”

Jin Zixuan freezes. Meng Yao is usually so polite, that this sudden accusation throws him off guard. “What did you say?”

“I said Jiang Cheng was right,” Meng Yao repeats in no uncertain terms, “You don’t know how to be the oldest sibling. Your Meimei just called you Da-gege, and you push her away.”

“She didn’t mean it,” Jin Zixuan accuses.

“Yes, I did!” Qin Su actually sounds angry for once. “It’s just... you always look so mad when I call you that!”

“Me, too.” That comes from little Mo Xuanyu, who, even at the age of nine, rarely speaks. He’s a strange boy, even stranger than the ever-cheerful Qin Su or the eerily intelligent Meng Yao.

“Huh?” Jin Zixuan asks dumbly.

“I want you call you Da-gege,” Mo Xuanyu answers, mumbling as per usual.

“You... want to call me Da-gege?” Jin Zixuan looks from Mo Xuanyu to Qin Su. It sounds too good to be true. Surely they were just saying it to avoid angering their mothers, who are always afraid of being seen as a broken family.

But Meng Yao shares a different way of looking at things. “Why wouldn’t they?” He asks, “Aren’t you our Da-gege?”

Jin Zixuan scowls, but he doesn’t reply. He feels like he’s been put in his place, and he doesn’t like it. At the same time, though, he feels... happy. He’s happy to think that maybe his siblings actually DO like him.

“You can call me A-Su, if you want,” Qin Su adds, “or... at least call me Meimei!”

That last request hits Jin Zixuan like an electric shock. He stares at Qin Su. A thought enters his head for the first time. All this time, he’s been afraid that his siblings secretly don’t like him. Is it possible that they have been having the same doubts about him?

Jin Zixuan takes in a deep breath, and forces himself not to tear up again. “Okay,” he says, “I’ll... I’ll call you A-Su from now on.”

“And me!” Mo Xuanyu pleads, grabbing onto his arm and tugging. “Call me Yu-er!”

“Okay,” Jin Zixuan says, dazed, “Yu-er.”

Mo Xuanyu beams, showing off his missing front teeth. He lost them a couple of days ago after running into a tree, playing tag with Qin Su. It somehow makes him look more like himself, in a weird way.

“And you can call me whatever you want to call me,” Meng Yao pipes in, “I would like to call you Da-ge, myself.”

Jin Zixuan watches Meng Yao, taken aback. But he is often confused by the things that Meng Yao says. They are exactly one year apart in age, as they share the same birthday. But Meng Yao seems older, somehow, like he was meant to be born first.

“You should call him A-Yao,” Qin Su suggests, “That’s what his Mama calls him.”

“Only if he wants to,” Meng Yao insists.

Jin Zixuan is speechless for a moment. His throat is tightening, making it harder to breathe. He wants to say: Yes, of course I want to! But that would be childish, and Jin Zixuan is the oldest. He has to be a good example.

“I’ll call you A-Yao from now on,” Jin Zixuan decides.

Meng Yao smiles and nods his head once, in a strangely formal sort of way. “I would like that very much, Da-ge,” he replies.

Man, his siblings are so weird! Jin Zixuan looks from one to the other.

A-Yao acts so stiff, like he’s got the personality of an old man, wise beyond his years. A-Su is too quirky, too joyful, like she’s afraid the world will end if she allows herself to be sad for even a second. And little Yu-er is weirdly quiet, but clumsy, like he’s still learning how to walk.

Jin Zixuan isn’t mature enough yet to realize that their oddities come from trauma. He just knows that they’re strange, but they’re his, and he loves them.

So he gathers Qin Su and Mo Xuanyu closer, just for a moment, just to indulge in a quick thank-you hug.

And Meng Yao surprises Jin Zixuan yet again by stepping forward, and putting his arms around all of them. He buries his face into Qin Su’s hair, avoiding eye contact as he squeezes them all affectionately.

It’s not until later that Jin Zixuan figures out that Jiang Yanli encouraged his siblings to come and talk with him. That she always saw through his prideful outer skin, to the insecurities hidden below. She’s the one who explained to his siblings that they needed to make their thoughts and feelings obvious, in order to get them through his thick skull.

By that point, Jin Zixuan is in love with her. But that doesn’t happen until much later.

#asks #anon #anonymous #mo dao zu shi #drabbles #leigh’s writing #mdzs modern au

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