#and then the places to put the characters were either

[desisailormoon]

Since she is on my mind atm…Persephone!

1.) so her appearance kind of came first because she was based off my Reverse of Arcadia avatar! And originally her name was Esther but I stopped resonating with it at one point. She also started being vaguely inspired by YooA from Oh My Girl in my mind and now she has detracted from that a lot since, but I can't remove her from Seph either. Her character and plot came to be from that game and Oh My Girl’s “Closer” <3

2.) not quite!

3.) I liked the name Esther at the time because of Orphan LOL, but when the name stopped sounding right my dear friend Anx picked out Persephone for me and it suits her perfectly! Her last name Caelum was picked in reference to her Sanctuary of the Sky deck but that name may not be her actual family game…(shall get back to you on that)

4.) growing up in a disaster torn area means the Satellite is one big graveyard, also learning to fend for herself as a girl growing up in it all while having a lonely childhood. That being said with her being able to grow plants and create art lets her breathe life into the most barren places.

5.) nothing too significant but her color palette is very earthy and warm.

6.) her eyes are big, brown doe eyes! She kinda looks like a fawn that was turned into a human and that theme of innocence (or projected innocence) comes up a lot for her. As a dark Signer, her eyes are black and red.

7.) she only stands at 5 feet. I am struggling to put it into words but her looking so unassuming in delicate actually works against her in the area she’s in and the conflicts she deals with.

8.) a lot. May have accidentally poured too much. the desire to return to something you can't. loving people even if they don't love you back at large. wanting to prove yourself and live in a world that puts a target on your back.

9.) not intentionally! but I've accepted how much I've poured into her.

10.) honestly it kind of wrote itself—I didn’t intentionally tailor her to Kiryu, but it worked out in the end! And in another universe, she is in, and she ended up bagging my friend’s OC Rei! <3

11.) nope! also wrote itself! our bi/pan queen <3

12.) trying to balance her duality, and transferring her most positive traits into negative/villainy for her dark signer self in a way that feels true to her without feeling forced or edgy.

13.) honestly that's a WIP because I'm not too sure myself LOL

14.) Seph is like if a female character in a shounen became aware of her place in stories like these and actively fought it.

15.) Seph being a gremlin never fails to make me laugh, anything with her being teasing or a troublemaker.

16.) anything involving Seph’s inner child, healing it through the twins or West and Nico, her relationship to Martha always make me emotional. Or anytime she realizes how loved she remained after her memory loss.

17.) element I regret? Not quite. Sometimes I feel like she should have more of a plant deck rather than her sanctuary deck but I still think they suit her.

18.) boy…she has been on my mind lots. I think the layers and implications of what it meant for her to be a female duel gang member were in my face during a recent wip. and damn.

19.) just one? Well lemme do a lil more:

- post Crashtown and well, post canon Seph takes over Barbara’s flower shop and it turns into a metaphysical shop as well. she also reads people’s decks and even channels monster cards!

- Seph would love animals in general, but bats and ball pythons are animals she adores even if others may be scared of them.

- one of Seph’s first crushes was a girl in the Satellite. She fell asleep on her shoulder once and ended up astral projecting to the spirit world! They could have dated but it scared that girl so bad she stopped seeing Seph 💔

- Seph used to be a huge Misty fangirl! With what little internet access she had, she would draw a lot of her photo shoots and watch interviews. When she would talk about seeing people’s fortunes with her faces, she wanted to meet her one day in hopes they would understand each other over having strange abilities.

- Seph likes to hang around cemeteries. She would draw spirits and leave flowers because the dead were much kinder to her and she didn't want the spirits to feel lonely, too. She longed to find people that would tend to her grave when she passes.

Questions About Creating Your OCs

‘Cause sometimes the stories of how OCs come to be are just as interesting as the OCs, themselves. Tell me how your virtual kids came into the world.

What was the first element of your OC that you remember considering (name, appearance, backstory, etc.)? 

Did you design them with any other characters/OCs from their universe in mind? 

How did you choose their name? 

In developing their backstory, what elements of the world they live in played the most influential parts? 

Is there any significance behind their hair color? 

Is there any significance behind their eye color? 

Is there any significance behind their height? 

What (if anything) do you relate to within their character/story? 

Are they based off of you, in some way? 

If they have an LI, how much of their character is tailored to be compatible to that person? 

Did you know what the OC’s sexuality would be at the time of their creation? 

What have you found to be most difficult about creating art for your OC (any form of art: writing, drawing, edits, etc.)? 

How far past the canon events that take place in their world have you extended their story, if at all? 

If you had to narrow it down to 2 things that you MUST keep in mind while working with your OC, what would those things be? 

What is something about your OC can make you laugh? 

What is something about your OC can make you cry? 

Is there some element you regret adding to your OC or their story? 

What is the most recent thing you’ve discovered about your OC? 

What is your favorite fact about your OC?

[blueberrypancakesworld]

John Walker - In a Relationship

John Walker x fem!reader

warning : kissing, hurt/comfort, fluff, mention of war, weapons, no use of Y/n

info : Finally! I saw the movie and omg I loved it, get ready for a lot of fics about sexy traumatized characters. Plus my fav John Walker that taco shield owner and now enjoy reading :)

masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

John Walker got a second chance after losing those closest to him and being dropped by the system that had wanted to make him great. But just because his wife was no longer in his life and he seemingly had nothing left, the opportunity with the Thunderbolts was all the greater...and on top of that, you, as his girlfriend, gave him hope for something wonderful.

°Walker may be superhumanly strong, but his heart is in the right place, especially when it comes to you. He would never drag you into one of his missions, never expose you to the danger and the past he had lived through. “You are more important than any mission, you won't get hurt like I did, I promise,” he told you whenever you offered to come with him, and he meant it.

°He was so grateful and wanted to show you his gratitude as often as he could for being there for him even in his darkest times. That you didn't see him as a 'dime store' Captain America, but as the soldier and savior of people he always wanted to be. “Never, John, the costume yes, but you no, you are my dutiful, handsome U.S. agent,” she said, John replied with a smile of flattery and truth.

°Those were words of love and respect, and they were rewarded every time with a kiss on the cheek while his rough, large hand rested on your hip to pull you closer to him.

°During the time you got to know each other, it was difficult for him to 'learn' what it meant to no longer be needed. His fear was understandable and his anger sometimes uncontrollable, but no matter how long and how often he disappeared to train to clear his mind, you waited for him, helped him with his training, and above all, it was he who said “Thank you...thank you for all this, sweetheart” every time. During training, he was the one who kissed you and couldn't have been happier when you kissed him back.

°In general, you quickly noticed that after John turned his back on the government, he could be very protective. Whether it was a call to check on you or a message after every mission when he came back to you, “Just one more mission, sweetheart, I'll be back soon. I love you,” he recorded the voice message before putting on his helmet to go on another “official” mission and somehow find that meaning he had almost achieved.

°You were waiting for him, he had someone waiting for him again, someone who believed in him, and that alone was worth continuing for.

°One of the most beautiful sights for the agent was seeing you cleaning your weapons. As cliché and stupid as it might be, he loved your knowledge, he knew you weren't helpless and could defend yourself, but this sight of beauty and lethality made his heart beat a little faster. “My dear weapon nymph,” he commented as he leaned against the doorframe. Your embarrassed smile spoke volumes, and John, as always, either cleaned his weapons or simply kissed you on the head and let you continue.

°When it came to leisure activities as a couple, it always depended on the missions and the time they had in between. Before Thunderbolts, it was rather difficult to find time for each other, but now, in the new team, there was suddenly more time and more understanding.

°Even Bob found tips in a dating book for his friend to give them some new ideas. “Trust me, just let your soft side out.” John heard his girlfriend say as he looked at the unpainted ceramic bowl. He had never been an artistic person, but seeing how beautifully she painted the bowl, he wanted to give it his best shot.

°In contrast to the colorful bowls that were displayed as souvenirs on the shelf, John insisted on playing football with you and the others as a team, which quickly became not only fun but also a battle for “Title and honor,” as Alexei put it, with John scoring every point like a god.

°In the end, he even lifted you up and carried you across the field. “Only the football queen gets that from her king,” he whispered before gently spinning you around and giving you another rewarding kiss. It was something none of you ever got enough of, because a kiss was simple but just as symbolic.

°Intimate yet brief, quick yet full of emotion, it was all the more important to John to always show you that he still loved you after everything.

°After all, he was still human. He may have been a super soldier, but he was only human. That's why his mind wasn't invulnerable and his nightmares about Afghanistan and what the terrorists had done sometimes kept him awake. “A former Captain America, a super soldier, and an agent, and yet I have this weakness,” he murmured, full of guilt and remorse, as he sat next to her in bed and hated himself.

°Your touch calmed him, allowing him to forget the war and the past. He focused on the present, on what he had, and especially when he had you right there with him.

°As you discovered, it was the little gestures and the things you did without thinking that John appreciated. Your hand on his, a kiss on his temple, a hug, or just leaning on him in bed when his mind was tormenting him. John knew he wasn't perfect, but he had learned enough in the last few months to become better, and with your love and his hope and effort, he would manage to improve himself and, above all, be the best boyfriend he could be to you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@egotisticaleverything , @brisselfshipping , @hoebrowsalad , @littlebean2905 , @lilbit32 , @neska334 , @lillycore , @crimsonkingart

[moneyonthesideee]

Dating Tommy Miller Pre-Outbreak Headcanons

Pairing: Tommy Miller x Reader

Word Count: 419 Words, 2195 Characters

The Last of Us Masterlist

He was never really the dating type. Even when he first met you, he’d liked you but never really expected it to go anywhere.

He met you when he’d been dropping off his niece, Sarah, to school, which was the same school your younger brother attended.

He liked your presence and he enjoyed hanging out with you, and before he knew it, he was going out for lunch and sometimes dinner with you, nothing fancy, but still. He hadn’t realised he asked you out until after you were already dating.

Sarah had taught him how to use Snapchat, and he’d send you snaps, albeit he called them ‘little videos,’ while he was at work. Sometimes it’d be him sitting in his pickup having lunch and chatting to the camera. Sometimes it’d be him holding up a peace sign on the construction site.

He’s great with kids. Whenever he came over to your place, for dinner or to pick you up, he’d make sure to get a little something for your brother, anything from a toy car to a little snack.

He thinks you’re so smart for having a job that isn’t what you call ‘sheer labour,’ like his job. You could never do his job either, but he somehow thinks you’re a genius, because once or twice you threw in big words that he didn’t get the meaning of. 

A date isn't an extravagant dinner at a fancy restaurant for the two of you. Some days, he’d come over to your place and you’d put on music on the radio and cook dinner for the two of you and your little brother while dancing all around the kitchen, and then the three of you would sit down to watch a movie while having dinner. Some days, he’d take you on late night drives in his pickup.

When he first met you, settling down and marriage had been the funniest little ideas to him, but fast forward two years of dating, the idea no longer seemed as ridiculous to him.

He starts saving up some money to get a nice ring for you. He knows you’d be overjoyed at a simple one, but he wants to give you something a little special. He even considers making a reservation at an expensive restaurant for once, but then decides a quiet late night date in his pickup under the stars would be much more personal to the two of you.

The Outbreak hits before he ever gets around to buying that ring.

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

Lemme know what you think of these headcanons. I'm always open to constructive criticism.

This is my first post on this blog, and I'd really appreciate any feedback, and I wanna hear what y'all thought of it.

Love y'all ♥︎

Toodles ♥︎

Vi ♥︎

[kittiesandkillers]

Please please ramble about Robin how much you want

Honey, you've got a big storm coming.

I love how Pc constantly puts Robin first. I love how they always just let us do most of the hard work for them, wether they realize it or not.

I love that Pc has to save Robin from the docks by trading places with them, showing how we're willing to make sacrifices for them but more often than not, they're unwilling to do the same. How, even if we don't save them, they never openly blame us for it. Instead, we're their shoulder to cry on. And how we're the one who has to take them to the hospital to get their wounds treated, cause they won't do it for themself.

I love how Robin can find out about Pc working at the brothel. How they'll be upset about it and beg us to find a different way to pay their debt. But sex work pays well, and it's not like they're offering up any alternate solutions. Nor do they decide to lift the financial burden by getting a real job. They don't even put their foot down on the matter if we refuse to find a different line of work. They just unhappily accept that we have turned to sex work, something that we might not have even done in the first place if not to pay off their debt, without once lifting a finger to change things.

I love how the Pc is constantly putting Robin into situations that make them uncomfortable, but how they rarely voice their discomfort unless they're at full confidence. How they're afraid that it'll upset us if they establish boundaries. They don't want to upset us because we're all they have, we always have been. But how are we supposed to know that we're pushing their boundaries when they refuse to voice them?

Love that the Pc can sabotage Robin's Lemonade stand, causing an argument between the two of them. That we can finally tell them that we want them to get a real job during said argument. How they feel betrayed and for once, stay upset about it instead of hiding how they really feel about the situation. I'm glad that both parties have a valid reason to be upset. No, we shouldn't have sabotaged their 'business' because they want them to go get a real job instead, but we're not wrong for feeling like they're not pulling their own weight either when we're the one paying rent and they're not, and yeah, they have every right to feel betrayed when their best friend/lover decides that they'd rather use underhanded tactics instead of trying to talk things out like mature adults.

I love Robin attacking Pc in a drug fueled stupor. How they're crying and apologizing during the whole thing. The pain when our character's trust in them is broken. When we say the, 'not you too,' line. Because they were the only person that we trusted never to hurt us. I love how after the fact, they're so distraught if we can't find it in ourselves to IMMEDIATELY forgive them. Almost like they think that we can just instantly recover from such a traumatic event just because they said that they 'didn't mean to hurt us.'

I love how, if Robin and Pc end up at the underground brothel together, we can try to protect them like we usually do, but how we may finally have to put ourself first when push comes to shove. How they get mad at us for not protecting them like we promised we would, only for them to break down crying moments later. Are their tears genuine? Did they cry because they realized that they were putting too much pressure on us, or were they crying because they're afraid that they'll lose their one defender if they voice their true, more selfish, feelings?

Sooo, yeah. Lots of angst with this character. Sorry if this was borderline incoherent, I had to start the whole thing over cause I lost my connection half way in.

[loki-zen]

There are lots of examples of when the creators of a thing are like, we want to do middle-of-the-road eye candy, but also, we like to front that we're better than that? so here's a flimsy excuse for why Actiongirl McBadass has to look like / would totally choose to dress like that, that is frankly more insulting than if we'd just said yes we know it's unrealistic but sex sells ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

But, Buffy the Vampire Slayer actually isn't that. Sure, it's an American TV show so you definitely have the whole nondiagetic makeup, all women with a BMI over 19 were banished in the Purge thing going on, but on this one occasion, they actually did write a character who would go out to fight vampires in kitten heels and lipgloss.

Not "because being so sexy is distracting to her enemies" or some bs, but because she's desperately trying to cling to a sense of self that her destiny is at odds with, and that's an important source of conflict and point of interest for her as a character, especially early on in the show.

And while we can absolutely critique the hell out of the image she's attached to*, it makes perfect sense that she's attached to it. She kinda won the lottery looks-wise especially given her time and place, and she will have gotten attached to the idea of everything her society told her that could mean for her - being the Ideal American Girl, the cheerleader! - and the fate she's been handed is so dismal, and she's so young. And it's not like (as with a lot of the examples I would criticise) she chose this life either, which makes a big difference imo. In real life, a woman who is in an Actiongirl role due to say her career choice comes preselected for willingness to put her hair in a fucking ponytail so she can fucking see who she is fighting.

Anyway Buffy is good. I mean it's not in all the ways it's not, but also, it is.

*just off the top of my head - there are the racist undertones of the idealisation of the Blonde as the "All-American" ideal of feminine beauty, the normcore elevation of blandness, the misogyny of how everyone agrees she's got to not intimidate men physically or intellectually, the very fact that it's incompatible with dressing sensibly for physical activity or defending oneself, the class stuff around the clothing side of it, the way this image of femininity is at least partially built on tearing other women down as falling short in one direction or another - too weird, too ethnic, too slutty, too prudish, too smart, too tacky,etc etc....

[medievalharlot]

Make Up, Make Out 彡 Jason Hochberg x f!reader

Find my masterlist here!

Pairing: Jason x f!reader

Synopsis: After moving you got asked to be counselor at Pineway, unfornately you weren't really what Jason was expecting to stumble upon in the head counselor bunk..

Wordcount: 4,7k

Tags: Enemies to lovers, slight angst, comfort, fluff, reader is homesick, plot strays away from the movie (no killing here I want my boy to be happy at camp)

A/N: I have been wanting to write for Jason since forever. Unfortunately I STILL have not finished Hell Of a Summer because i have been busy but I couldn't help writing for him. Shoutout to @yearsbecomingcool for helping me with this idea! Jason might be a little ooc, but please enjoy!

Something about you annoyed him. Jason couldn’t put his finger on what it was, but you rubbed him the wrong way completely. The way you dressed, the way you talked and the way the kids seemed to prefer you over him. It was true that you had a certain charm to you that Jason did not have, and maybe that was what annoyed him so much. Even for him, it felt out of character to dislike someone this much. Especially at camp Pineway of all places. He never had an issue with any of the people here. The two of you just seemed to clash. Every team game turned into a competition between you. So far you had won every single game. You had defeated him at badminton, the yearly relay race, tug of war and countless games of dodgeball. The real problem here? The two of you were co head counselors..

This was going to be his year, Jason could feel it. John and Kathy had asked him specifically this year! Besides, even if he gave an emotional goodbye-speech last year, he couldn’t stay away from this place. Most of the people here he had already met, either as counselor or as campers. It truly felt incredible to be back. Claire, Demi, Ezra, he was happy to see some familiar faces. There were some new faces as well, but he was sure it was going to be fun. His summer’s at Pineway were some of his best memories. While everyone was getting to know each other and getting settled, Jason decided to head up to the bunk of John and Kathy.

“John, Kathy, where are thou.” He laughed as he knocked on the door. No reply, odd. Jason peeked his head around the door. “Here’s Jason-” He cut himself off when he saw you. You were leaning over the desk slightly, reading some notes they left behind. Jason didn’t remember ever seeing you at camp Pineway, he definitely would have remembered you. Why were you in the bunk of John and Kathy? First time counselors weren’t supposed to come here. You were tucking a hair behind your ear when you looked up at him. Jason glanced you up and down. He couldn’t deny you were quite attractive. You had stunning eyes, your hair sat effortlessly good, you were wearing a black and red flannel with jean shorts that seem to fit you just right. But the first thing he noticed about you now that he got a good look at you was the way you smiled, it radiated a certain positivity.

“You must be Jason, right?” You spoke and took a few steps forward. “I am Y/N.” With that same smile you offered him your hand to shake. He was about to ask why you were in the headbunk, but you already answered his question before he could ask it. “I will be your co head-counselor this year.”

A bit confused he shook your hand. “My co head-counselor?” He asked you as he watched you. “But you’re a first year?” It sounded a bit sassier than he wanted it to sound.

“Yeah?” You raised a brow as you crossed your arms. “But this isn’t my first rodeo, have been doing this since I was eighteen actually. I just happened to move here this year, and after talking to John and Kathy they asked if I wanted to help you with counseling this year.”

Jason took another good look at you, you were probably a bit younger than he was. John and Kathy asked you specifically to help him? That stung a little. He thought that they wanted him to finally be head-counselor. “Well do you know where they are right now?”

You shook your head. “On this note they said they had to run some errands and that they expect us to get the party started.” The sticky note was on the table between another pile of papers. Before he could read what it said you were already out of the bunk and making your way to the group of counselors that were waiting in the mess hall.

Jason followed behind you, taking a few big steps to be ahead of you. “I’ll handle this, I’ve known this group for a while.” He told you as he started fumbling with a few cards in his hands. With an amused smirk on your face you watched him with crossed arms.

It went about as well as you expected. Jason tried to do an awkward magic trick and nobody really seemd to listen to him. The attempt was sweet, but you liked cutting to the chase. “Okay so, hi new face here. I am Y/N and together with Jason I will be head counselor. this year I already have a few years of counseling under my belt at camp Twin Creeks but my parents moved here, so camp Pineway it is!”

Jason looked affronted when you interrupted him. Didn’t you see he was trying to do a thing here? This was his chance to set a good impression and you made him blow it! He got pulled out of his thoughts when you looked at him to continue the introduction. “Yes uh- John and Kathy will come later! So they asked me.” He then looked at you. “Us. To start the party for them!” Jason chuckled a bit.

You had already grabbed a plastic basket, always a step ahead. “You guys know the drill, phones in the basket.” The basket got passed around, a bunch of groans of discontempt filled the hall. “Give those fried dopamine receptors a rest! If I catch any of you with your phones, it’s mine.” You looked at the basket with phones as you sat down on the table.

“Let’s get fucked up!”

“Let's get effed up, but let's also remember, the camp has very strict policies against partying. So just no drinking, no smoking, and most importantly, no Game of Thrones spoilers.” Jason’s protests fell on deaf ears. It was just you, Jason and an awkward silence left in the hall.

You patted him on the back. He didn’t like that. “Losen up a little Jason, I rather know what they are drinking than them doing it behind my back. I won’t say no to a beer either.” With a jump you got off the table. “And Game of Thrones ended in like 2018? Don’t tell me you still haven’t finished it.” Before he could even reply you were already outside.

That day started a rivalry between the two of you. Every activity was a chance to show off and Jason did have quite the competitive streak. That night you two already managed to have a drinking competition. Jason had sworn he was not going to drink or break any rules but when you told him you would outdrink him, he was dead set on beating you. It ended with Jason falling asleep against Claire’s shoulder after he had one too many.

He never regretted anything more that morning. With a pounding headache and a dry throat he made his way to the mess hall. The rest of the counselors cheered him on when he walked in, making him smile a little. Jason planned on making ammends with you tho, he couldn’t keep behaving like this. But when he saw you making breakfast for the rest of the crew, something he always enjoyed doing, wearing his ‘kiss the cook’ apron those plans went out the window.

Softly groaning he sat down next to Claire somewhere in the front. She couldn’t help but laugh at the display. “I never thought I would live to see the day goody two shoes Jason Hochberg hungover at camp.” She offered him a glass of water.

“She challenged me!” Jason said defensively while he pointed at you. “She shouldn’t be head-counselor if she encourages people to break rules.”

Claire quickly shoved his arm down. “Don’t point at her, it’s rude.” She turned to her plate again, taking a bite of her toast. “I think she is nice. She helped me unpack last night after we brought you to bed.” Of course his best friend liked his new found rival. “And she makes a delicious fried egg, you got competition Jason.” She grinned while taking another bite.

Just as he was about to protest, you walked out of the kitchen with two plates. He watched you sit down and placing one of the plates infront of him. “I was surprised at how much a guy like you could drink in such a short amount of time.” You chuckled as you took a bite of your own food. “Eat, it’ll help. We need to go over the activites for next week.”

It had really set the tone for the rest of the camp. Jason was always bickering with you and Claire was trying to mediate between the two of you. When the campers arrived the rivalry continued. Who could gather the most firewood first, who’s assigned group could clean up faster, who could finish the dishes faster. Every activity was a competition, and damn you were good at everything. He truly found you a stuck up perfectionist that is always showing off and you found Jason an awkward wimp that couldn’t read the room. Like House Lannister and House Stark, as Jason would put it, the two of you clashed.

He disliked your bratty remarks, your smart ideas, the way a room lit up when you smiled, your beautiful hair and the way that even despite all of it you made the heat rise to his cheeks. It made him even more frustrated. A girl like you would never give him a chance.

But you had wanted to give him a chance. The first thing you noticed about him was his dorky smile that unfortunately dropped as soon as he saw you. You hated to admit that you thought he was cute. His attitude towards you when you first met hurt. It hurt even more to see him behaving so warm towards everyone, but so doubting and cold towards you. Why did he have to question everything you did as if you haven’t been doing this since you were eighteen? Of course you were going to give him snide remarks if he kept doing that.

Ezra was the only one that saw right through the two of you. He called you ‘The real life straight version of Elphaba and Galinda’. Whenever he brought up the topic it was the only time you and Jason agreed. You two loathed each other, and would continue to do so..

After a few days, John and Kathy finally called in. Apparently they had some mold and water issues at their new home that was going to take the summer to fix. So it was just you and Jason running the camp. You almost regretted going. Even before you got here you missed your home and your friends. You had hoped that Camp Pineway would cure your homesickness but your rivalry with Jason only made it worse. He was supposed to be your buddy yet he acted like you spat in his coffee each morning.

Now the two of you were also in charge of a bunch of kids and you were running out of supplies. Jason wasn’t sure what to do, John and Kathy usually ran the errands. Claire insisted that it would be fine if the two of you went to the store, she and the other camp counselors had got it covered. Jason knew the way to the storeand you knew what to get. She had also secretly hoped that without the campers and the other counselors around the two of you would make up.

Jason had already taken the drivers seat in the worn down truck, not that you wanted to drive that scrap of metal anyway. With a hard swing you loudly closed the door.

“It’s going to break like that you know, old Betty has seen many Pineway years and it would be a shame to break in on your first year.” Jason had to start the car a few times before it started, the soft rumbling of the motor alerting everyone you were leaving.

“Sorry, not everyone has an emotional attachment to a piece of metal. Are you going to kiss and caress it too like those other weird car freaks?” You retorted and crossed your arms as he drove away from the camp.

“I am not a car freak.”

“You are into Game of Thrones tho.”

“So are you?”

“That’s different.”

Jason frowned. “How is it any different from me?” He looked at you. Did you really just straight up call him weird? He knew you thought he was, it made him quite insecure, but he never thought you would say it like that. You were truly just another bully like at highschool.

“Because I read the books first, before watching the show.” It was almost in a teasing tone. You hated when people insisted they were a better fan for reading the books, but pissing Jason off was just too fun.

“How is that different?” He scoffed, eyes returning to the road. For a moment it was silent. “What is your favorite character then?” Jason eventually asked, it didn’t hurt to ask about something he liked. Besides, he was curious what kind of fan you were.

To you, it felt more like a trick question but there was no shame in answering truthfully. “Sansa Stark. Yours?” It was the first time you sounded genuinely interested in what he had to say. You were quite interested in what he thought about the show. Being a nerd and being into nerdy stuff had always been a big part of your personality, but thus far you had not found someone to talk to about your interests.

Jason nodded, he couldn’t really argue with your character choice. “Tyrion Lannister. He’s quite funny.”

“It has been a while since I watched tho.” You spoke, placing an elbow on the car door. “I used to watch it with one of my best friends.” There was a sadness to your voice.

“When did you move?” Jason turned his head for a moment to look at you. Even if he disliked you, he understood how it might make you feel sad.

“A few weeks before camp. It’s a wonder John and Kathy hired me, but apparently my previous co-counselors really sang my praises.”

Jason looked at the road again. He couldn’t lie, you were a good campleader. The kids really seemed to like you and you were always creative in your activity ideas. The scavenger hunt you set out was brilliant, both the campers and counselors really enjoyed it. At the campfire after the hunt nobody could seem to shut up about it.

Even the shy kids seemed to blossom whenever you connected with them. Jason noticed you sitting with one of the shy girl’s before while a group of boys was pulling him along to teach them how to use the bow and arrow, you were really taking the time for her. The next time he saw the girl she was laughing and smiling with another girl. He could really applaud your ability to make camp special for everyone. Too bad you were always sassmouthing him..

“Do you like it here?” Jason dared to ask.

“Yeah, it’s fine.” He could hear the lump in your throat. Did you really did not like it here? He regretted the way he acted towards you now, he hadn’t noticed you were feeling awful. The rest of the carride was silent. Not an awkward silence tho, it was comfortable to sit in. You watched the trees slowly turning into buildings again as you got closer to the store.

When you got back Claire was happy to see you hadn’t ripped each other’s heads off. It felt like the two of you had a truce. She watched as Jason helped you with the groceries, there was no witty remark or protest coming from you this time. Instead, you held the door to the mess hall open for him. Both of you didn’t say a thing as you helped each other, almost as if you didn’t want to acknowledge it.

She approached Jason after you stayed in the kitchen to start on dinner. He was setting the tables, passing around paper plates and plastic forks for the kids to eat from as soon as it was served. Claire sat down on one of the tables. “Did you two make out or something? You didn’t argue about who’s making dinner.” She grinned.

Jason looked up at her, still holding a pile of paper plates. “What? No, never!” He might have a little bit of empathy for your situation but he would never make out with you, you still called him weird inexplicitly. Besides, he didn’t have the guts to do that. “I think she doesn’t really like it here. When I asked she said it was fine but it didn’t really sound like it.” He admitted.

“Oh.. Well she covers it up really well then.”Claire raised her eyebrows. “Never seen someone put this much energy into something they did not like.” She watched Jason knit his brows, there was clearly something on his mind bothering him.

Jason sat down next to her with a sigh. “I just..” He started and then scratched the back of his neck. “I just feel bad about how I have been acting towards her. I mean she did call me weird-”

“You weren’t exactly mister perfect either, you basically doubted her ability to be counselor from the moment she got here Jason.” Claire interrupted him, reminding this whole ordeal wasn’t just one sided.

“I know I know.” He looked ahead for a moment. “I guess I was just a little dissapointed John and Kathy didn’t just pick me specifically to be counselor. Not that they made a bad decision to ask Y/N to join us. Don’t think I have ever seen the campers this excited, she really has a talent for this. It’s admirable.” Jason had a soft smile on his face as he thought about the way you sang to the kids at last night’s bonfire. “She probably expected to make new friends this summer and I acted like a total asshole.”

Claire watched as Jason burried his face into his hands with a groan. “Yeah you pretty much have been.” She chuckled and patted his back when he let out another groan. “But it’s never too late to make up?”

That night Jason couldn’t sleep. While staring at the ceiling he could not help thinking about you. He couldn’t believe he was really blinded by his own feelings to see how amazing you actually were. You had a real talent for counseling, you were extremely creative and your smile. Your lovely smile. He could feel his cheeks get red by the idea of you smiling at him, hugging him, kissing him. A warm feeling spread through his body at the thought.

His wandering mind got interrupted when he heard a soft knock on the door. The campers were supposed to be asleep a long while ago, so something had to be up. He quickly got off his bed and opened the door. The shy girl, her name was Taylor, stood infront of him in tears. Quickly he let her into his bunk.

As she sat on his bed she told him in tears that she felt sick. She couldn’t find your bunk or the bunk of the nurses so she went to his bunk instead. The bunk of head counselor was the only one that was yellow, easy to spot in the dark. Jason tried to calm her, but she only seemed to get more upset. He knew that you would be able to calm her down, so after he felt her forehead to confirm her fever he decided to take her to your bunk.

He had walked the road to your bunk several times before throughout the years, yet he couldn’t help but feel nervous. Your lights were already off so he was probably waking you up. Softly, he knocked on your door while shooting a weak smile at Taylor. You opened the door quite quickly to his surprise. So you had been awake.

“Jason? What’s wrong?” You asked but he could hear your broken voice. Had you been crying? “Taylor are you alright sweetheart?” Before Jason could ask anything about it you led them into your bunk. You turned on the light, it was interesting to see how you decided to decorate your bunk. It was also suprisingly neat compared to his bunk. Jason’s was always a mess within days.

“She probably has a fever.” Jason turned to you. “I couldn’t get her to calm down, I thought maybe you could?” He whispered softly as he stood next to you. The sound of his voice so intimately in your ear sent shivers down your spine.

“Poor thing.” You brushed her hair from her burning forehead with your hand as you looked at Jason. He had already been looking at you the entire time with those dreamy blue eyes. It made you pause for a moment. The way he looked at you with genuine admiration and kindness made the feelings from the first day that you have been pushing away bubble right up again.

You shook your head, trying to collect your thoughts. “We should get her some medication, I think I have some Advil in my backpack.” You pointed at your bag on the chair. Taylor’s sobs got slightly harder so you decided to sit down with her on your bed. While Jason was getting the Advil you softly rubbed her back, asking her about her day as you tried to ease her mind.

As soon as she took the Advil you quietly took her back to her bunk trying to not wake up the rest of the kids. Jason watched you by the door as you sat by her bed, brushed your finger along her temple as you waited for her to fall asleep. It didn’t take long, the campers did have a busy day and without her fever and anxiety keeping her up she fell asleep quite fast. After waiting a little while you got up and walked to him.

“Can’t imagine what seven-year-old would have done if I got a fever at my first summer camp, poor girl.” You said as soon as the two of you got outside.

“Sorry I woke you up.” Jason felt like he had to apologize, even though he knew you weren’t sleeping. It was a first step in trying to make ammends.

“It’s fine.” You said, you hadn’t expected him to apologise. “I couldn’t really sleep anyway, crickets kept me up.” It was a lie, you had been up crying. You looked at the bonfire, it was still slowly dying out. “Might aswell enjoy the little bit of heat from the fire.” You stopped, waiting for him to also join you.

He did, he sat down next to you. Silently you watched the embers of the fire burn out as the night got chillier. You had forgat to bring a sweater so you tried to rub your arms warm. Jason noticed and he offered his zip-up hoodie, which you gladly took. The soft cotton still smelled like him, you softly snuggled into the fabric.

“I’m sorry for-” Jason broke the comfortable silence, not sure how to start. “I am sorry for acting like a douchebag. You’re a very capable counselor and I have been acting awfull towards you.” He started rambling, Jason never could quite tell when it was time to shut up.

“I haven’t been very nice to you either. I think I might be just as awkward and weird as you are.” You had your eyes stuck on the campfire as you were trying to avoid his gaze.. “Guess I just hadn’t expected you to question me, but I don’t blame you. It’s probably odd to share your position with a stranger without questioning their abilities to do said job.”

Jason frowned as he continued to look at you. “No, I mean it. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin camp for you. I never want someone to feel out of place at Pineway of all places!” He made a grand gesture. It was clear he loved this place.

You pulled your knees to your chest, resting your head on top of them. “It’s not entirely your fault, Jason.” A sigh left your lip. “I have been feeling quite homesick. Yes Pineway is fun, but it’s not like home.” You sniffed as you could feel the tears stinging in your eyes.

Even in the dark Jason could notice the tears in your eyes, the hurt in your voice. He gently placed a hand on your shoulder. “You’ve been doing amazing tho, I have never seen a summer this full of activities. And you manage to do it without John and Kathy. That’s impressive. Don’t know how this year would have turned out without you here.” He gave your shoulder a squeeze.

His nice words only spurred on your tears. You placed your forehead against the top of your knees as you sobbed. “I am just so scared that nobody actually likes me here, even after camp. I don’t have any friends and my new room is so ugly too. They’ll never like me at my new school because I am a big loser after all.” All your worries came pouring out.

Jason watched you ramble on. Without hesitating he pulled you into a hug, resting his chin on top of your head. He held you close in silence, his warmth was comforting. It surprised you for a moment before you leaning your head against his chest as you softly cried. He surprised you even more when he placed a kiss on your head. “You’re way cooler than you think, and if they don’t see that at your new school they’re fools.” He muttered softly. You pulled away, looking him in the eye. Those beautifull blue eyes.

“I’m sorry did I go to far?-”

You couldn’t help but lean in and place your lips on his. With your hands holding onto his shirt you pulled him closer. His one hand was placed next to you on the bench, the other reaching to cup your cheek. He softly stroked it in a comforting manner with his thumb, wiping away your tears.

It was a perfect moment, yet twenty-four hours ago you would never have thought you would kiss Jason. Both of you were inexperienced but you didn’t really care. When you pulled away eventually you stared at each other for a moment.

“That was the first time someone kissed me.” Jason look down a bit embarassed before looking at you again.

“That was the first time I kissed someone too.” You admitted as well, feeling a little less ashamed knowing it was his first kiss too.

You stared at him for a moment longer before a ray of light hit the grass, had the two of you been sitting out here for so long that the sun was already rising? You grabbed his wrist to look at his watch, it was 5AM. It would take another three hours before the rest of the camp would wake up.

“I have always wanted to watch the sunrise.” You said as you leaned against his shoulder, hugging his arm.

Jason blushed slightly at your affectionate gesture. “Glad to scrape it off your camp bucketlist with you.” He placed his arm around your shoulders as he held you close, resting the side of his head on top of yours. He could care less about the teasing remarks he would get from Claire or the rest of the counselors about his little crush. Right now, he was here enjoying the sunset with the girl he turned out to not hate as much as he thought he would.

[kallmemeimei]

Moments I can see happens in Deadtired’s life: Before they dated

It’s a bit more descriptive from the previous one idk why

—————

Those neon green eyes which were usually cheerful and bright, now held inexplicable darkness. Phantom’s usual easy-going character was nowhere to be seen. Instead, a man who reminded Tim of an icy jagged mountain peak, cold, sharp and unfathomable, stood in his place.

“You keep provoking me again and again… Hey, Tim, I know I’m usually too lazy to bother with things but i’m still a man.”

Perhaps because Phantom usually either had a lazy or cheerful smile on his face, which made him look easy to get along with, Tim only found out now that when Phantom puts away the smile on his face and stared at Tim expressionlessly, the hair-raising feeling that made him tense immediately prevailed.

The slightly heavier breath swept across his cheek and neck, and lowered, raspy voice was filled with intimidation. The young CEO who always had plans and schemes in his head was put in a rare position where his mind was coming in blank and stood frozen against the wall, even holding his breath unconsciously due to nervousness.

Confident azure blue eyes no longer held the daringness it had before, but was replaced by a cute and docile look, reminding others of a cute deer. Phantom seemed to be quite satisfied with the current Tim, and despite being expressionless still, Phantom returned to his previously friendly demeanour. The previously ice melted to show warmth again.

“Don’t challenge my patience with yourself again, okay?”

“……Yeah.”

Completely suppressed by the other party’s momentum, Tim subconsciously nodded, only breathing a sigh of relief once Phantom phased out of the room.

“What’s up with him?”

Tim’s back that was still pressed up against the wall, gradually slid down until he reached the carpeted floor due to his weak legs. He covered his face with his hands, but through the gaps between his fingers and his exposed ears, it’s still obvious that his face was bright red.

“He usually acts so silly and dumb... Why is he being handsome all of the sudden…”

Meanwhile, as the target of Tim’s criticisms, Danny just casually nodded and greeted the other members of the Wayne family whenever he came across them. Except for noticing the fact that Phantom’s ears were slightly green, no one would have ever thought what this ghost had done before.

Danny, who maxed out his acting talent stat for a short moment, returned to the guest room he was staying in for now and closed the door. Then he instantly squatted down and suddenly covered his face with his hands, his whole body exuding the feeling of, “it’s over, it’s over,””the bats are going to kill me,””i’m so embarrassed,””please let me permanently die now.”

“Holy shit. I actually said that??? Ancients, what gave me the guts to say that??? Fuck. Does Tim hate me now??? I think I just unconsciously used my aura as king… No, no, no, I should go find Clockwork and convince him to let me travel to the past so I can punch myself!!!”

The coward who had completely entered self-destructive mode had already started blabbing nonsensical things, but just when his shame was starting to overwhelm him, the expression of Tim, who had pinned against the wall by him before, began to unconsciously emerge from his mind.

Blue eyes, widened by shock, looked like a calm lake that suddenly had stones thrown into it under a clear sky. His slightly trembling lashes made him appear fragile, and it made Danny feel like a small, soft animal’s fur was brushing itself against his heart. His pale lips were reddened by how much he was pressing them tightly, subconsciously catching Danny’s attention.

And... remembering the heat from the feeling of his ear being gently bitten by Tim earlier, which hadn't completely dissipated yet.

—Ahhh, you can't escape, Danny.

——Just admit it, Tim.

The fingers covering their faces almost sunk into their skin, but this action didn't help reduce the blush on their faces. Although they were in two completely different places, Tim and Danny surprisingly had the same actions, both covered their reddened cheeks with their hands, squatted on the ground and tried to curl up.

——You've fallen for him! (x2)

[daughterofheartshaven]

So, The Story and the Engine. Here are my thoughts

Okay that's a great opening, and some real discussion about our first fully nonwhite main cast in the show's history. Love to see it.

I also love the emotional maturity shown by Belinda here. Like she wants to get home but also is okay with the Doctor having a moment of healing

The setting is so, so wonderful. The Doctor having a community here means so much to me. Like, this is not what my community looks like, but it is such an authentic community and that's beautiful.

The concept of something being powered by stories is also a really clever one, and I like how it is implemented here

The story about Belinda made me cry - like that was above and beyond for her, but also worth it. Also if we're gonna have a random Mrs Flood, I appreciate how they put her here as opposed to tacking her on at the end.

The imagery of the barbershop on the spider is so, so good. I really wish the spider hadn't been in the trailers; that would have been such a cool thing to be surprised by. Even so, it's another really powerful image.

I have no idea why Belinda sees Poppy from space babies (I didn't recognize her but I see that others worked this out), but I am... intrigued. Also why did her causing a mess not get followed up on? Feels like either a scene was cut or we're gonna circle back around to that

To me at least, the religious aspects of this story feel very ambiguous, and I like that. The Barber has been spreading stories, and he is going to kill those stories. The Doctor has been in places and had experiences that were meaningful because of those stories. Are the gods those stories are about real? They can be. They can not be. This isn't about the gods, it's about the stories. And I really like that - I would have been very frustrated if I felt like the episode came down hard in either direction.

relatedly, Abena is clearly something. But at the same time, she acts like a person. Not a god. I don't think she's a deluded human. Maybe she's a god. Maybe she's something else entirely. Like I said, ambiguity.

unrelatedly, but the existence of a Big Finish character called the Barber-Surgeon is really throwing me off as I type this.

Okay the Fugitive Doctor's cameo... like. fine. whatever. I don't like the character and her place in the lore, and I don't like her showing up here, but her appearance is basically inoffensive.

That being said, the Doctor remembering something Fugitive did doesn't make sense with what we know with the position the tv show has taken. I'll probably have my own take on that whole situation from the perspective of my headcanons later

Okay the story of people weaving maps into hair - that was so, so well done. I might have cried here too, I don't remember.

I loved the camerawork while Doc and Belinda were in the maze

The actual engine is... just wonderful to look at. Visually, this story is fascinating and I love it.

"I'm born. I die. I'm born." Damn, Gatwa is good at his job

I love that the past lives on the screens went out of order. And they started on what might be the most important moment in all of Doctor Who for me - that crucial moment in Tomb of the Cybermen that I understand the Doctor by - and I did start crying again.

Doctor Who often has the Doctor try to save the villain and fail, and it usually feels like it's just the writers trying to make the Doctor have the moral high ground cheaply. So to see him actually save the villain, and to talk about forgiveness with both him and the man who betrayed his trust, is such a powerful move.

For a story that doesn't really focus on her, Belinda has so much emotional maturity. She tries to help. She tries to de-escalate the situation. She gets out when it's time to get out. This story may be the one I return to understand Belinda in future - I really, really like her here.

And there are still consequences. Abena leaving the Barber behind. Just because he will try to be better doesn't change what he did.

The ending is very quiet and contemplative, and I like that.

The Robot Revolution is probably still my favorite episode with Gatwa, but The Story and the Engine is now, in my opinion, his best.

[aizawashuichi]

Near isn’t shown to have any resentment towards Linda and Roger during or after them giving his and Mello’s facial composites to Light, and Roger even becomes Watari after the Kira case. So, I feel like it’s safe to assume that what they did wasn’t as bad as it’s presented, and the only reason in my opinion is because Near instructed them to do that. Just the fact that he then lets Roger to become his right hand tells me that he does trust him, otherwise it would be out of character to get someone that betrayed him (and Mello) to work so closely to him, able to compromise L’s identity.

But even if Near didn’t tell them anything, let’s look it from Roger’s perspective. He watched this genius child grow and become this undefeated beast, a synonym of stability (sort of). As long as L was alive, nobody could take over the world. After he died, that was possible, and it was scary to think that this person with this incredible power to kill people at distance was now free to act as they pleased.

The only contact we know he and L had was through the periodic press of a button to signal that he was still alive. I don’t think they (Watari included) had any regular calls, because otherwise, they wouldn’t need this system set in place (which makes me wonder why they didn’t talk anymore. In my Roger x Watari headcanon, it’s because their relationship grew cold after Watari chose L over him, which made him also hate children more than before, but canonically, we aren’t given any reason as to why Roger is no longer – or has never been – part of L’s actual work).

So, Roger didn’t know anything about the case, other than what was reported on the news, he knew very little about Kira, and had no clue who L thought Kira could be. He could only imagine it was someone who was physically close to him, as to know what L looked like (not because of the Death Note, since he didn’t know about it, but just to pinpoint who the detective was and target him), so I think he guessed they had to be someone in the NPA/Japanese Task Force (those that are working to “catch” Kira and/or have access to his computer in order to emulate him) that took over his role. He knows L enough to understand that he wouldn’t go out of his way to let a lot of people know his identity, only a handful, in strictly extraordinary circumstances, as this one. And this is something I don’t understand on Light’s part.

When learning from Aizawa and Matsuda that Roger knows that L is dead, why didn’t he find him a threat? It seems a bit odd that he wouldn’t question how he knows that and if L told him other stuff about the case, including his main suspect, but that’s irrelevant here.

In any case, I believe (correct me if I’m wrong) that when Aizawa and Matsuda showed up to Wammy’s, they presented themselves as people connected to the Kira case in some way or another, as to be credible and justify their sudden appearance, but even if they didn’t, they are still Japanese. Roger didn’t know L’s whereabouts directly from him, but surely the news reported what L did in Kanto after it happened, and that’s why he knows he was killed by Kira. That, or L would actually report where he is, when moving for a case.

Without any instruction from Near, I think his actions are somewhat justifiable: his position was extremely risky, because he could be in front of a possible Kira, that could kill him or the kids (to threaten him or whatever). As much as he hated kids, I don’t think he was insensitive to the possibility of a mass murder. A mass murder which nobody would find out about unless either Near failed to get in contact with him or someone passed by that place.

In his eyes, in this scenario, putting up any kind of resistance meant only the worst, so he did what he could to ensure his and the kids’ safety, which I think Near could see as understandable.

In my opinion, though, they were in constant contact or, at least, Near asked Roger to be updated in case Mello came back there or if someone showed up, asking him information about them, and he gave him some instructions or warnings just in case.

Near, at this point in the timeline, didn’t know Light directly nor he knew what he looked like, so he could only relate to him what he knew regarding the method of killing and instruct him on how to act, if someone went there.

I seriously think that whatever happened at the Wammy’s House that day was orchestrated in advance to go in a certain way, because it was Near who decided to tell Light about the Wammy’s House, which he wouldn’t do if he knew that there was ACTUAL information that could get Kira to kill them.

It’s hard for me to believe that Roger didn’t know the kids’ names, because surely, he should have the documents that assess their existence into this world. They didn’t spawn out of the blue in the orphanage and if Watari went to look for them or if someone sent them to the Wammy’s, they had to have a birth certificates, medical record, etc. with them. And when Roger took Wammy’s place as the head, he had access to them. Watari couldn’t be the only one in their possess, because otherwise e.g. they couldn’t even go to the emergency room if they needed to. I don’t know why Matsuda and Aizawa didn’t question this part, but to me Roger hid all these documents somewhere, so if they searched Watari’s (now his) office, they wouldn’t be able to find anything.

In the end, I think Roger gave them what they asked for, but without revealing too much, so that he could convince them he was being truthful and collaborative, when he wasn’t (at least, in part), thanks to Near’s help that told him what information he could give out.

I don’t know how much of a stretch is to say that it was all Near’s plan to get a hold of Mello, but we know that Near wants Kira to approach him in some way and giving him information he has decided prior on if it was detrimental or not is the best way. Maybe he contacted Roger as a preventive measure, but then decided he could use that for his own gain.

About Linda, I think she was at the Wammy’s at this moment, because they didn’t say Roger provided them with her contact, so it wouldn’t be hard to tell her what to do. Not sure about this, but giving them their facial composite wasn’t seen as something dangerous, because he didn’t know about the eyes. It just helped Roger to seem collaborative.

[fanficmanic]

I've finally watched 8x16 and 8x17

Just to be safe cause I don't want anyone coming at me with pitchforks and fire - spoiler alert for 8x16 and 8x17

Oh, and probably long post ahead - be warned. I need to let this off my chest and vent.

For 8a, I didn't watch any of the episodes live. I didn't have a source for that at the time, and I always kept an eye on here to sort of give myself a heads-up of what happened in each episode. Then 8b came and I found a website to watch live - which is 12 pm Friday where I live, meaning the episode airs while I'm at work.

Still, I kept watching each episode live, and put in live reactions, and went nuts over predictions and obsessed over possibilities.

Then March 31 happened, and nothing was the same again.

A week later, I went on vacation (still in that vacation as I type this - got 5 more days), where episodes air at 3 am local time. I watched 14 the day after cause I was jet lagged and couldn't wake up for it, then I watched 15 live and cried so hard to the point that I woke up my husband and he freaked out. When I explained what was going on, he just hugged me and asked if I wanted him to stay up with me to vent (this is important for another point I will be making below). I'm kinda glad that all of this was happening while I was busy seeing friends who I haven't seen in years, cause otherwise, I would've driven myself insane during that one week hiatus before 16.

Still, I couldn't find it in me to wake up for 16 and watch live. I wanted to, I really did, but I just couldn't do it. Then I read all the negative feedback and I was like, nope. Not doing this. So I found a clip of the funeral, watched that, and called it a day. This, for someone like me who hasn't gotten so hyper-focused on a tv show in years, is so OOC. I still didn't watch it, even after 17 aired, which I didn't watch live either (not for lack of wanting, but the website I use is blocked where I am currently).

This morning, I woke up to an insane amount of posts here about 17 - and my fandom bestie whose opinion I treasure the most (looking at you @cathcer1984) said that I have to watch it. So, I downloaded 16 & 17, and only was able to watch them now.

Here are my thoughts on 16 (better late than never, I suppose):

No matter what Gerrard does, and no matter how he acts, he'll always be an asshole to me.

Hen and Chim were phenomenal. Their acting was out of this world, and the makeup department deserves awards cause it felt like Chim had aged 10 years.

Buck, who has a chronic case of abandonment issues-itis, was clearly barely holding himself together. He was putting on a strong mask because Bobby told him that they'll need him, and he'd die before disappointing Bobby even through the great beyond.

Eddie only being there for a few minutes pissed me off, but man did he do an excellent job. That single tear that trickled down his face when they saluted Bobby broke me.

Athena's dealing with her grief by working the dead child's case was so in character that I wasn't even upset.

Even though I had watched the funeral scene last week (and cried), I still cried again - and once more, my husband just hugged me and wiped away my tears.

I'm kinda conflicted about Bobby being buried next to his first wife and kids. I mean, it's a beautiful move and very emotional, but that doesn't give people a place to visit him and talk to him. I'm also kinda pissed that Buck, Eddie, Hen, and Chimney didn't get on that plane with Athena, May, and Harry.

Now, like I said, I woke up today to insane posts around here, and I was so confused that at one point I thought I'd be watching Buck and Eddie throwing fists at each other.

However, now that I've watched the episode, I'm starting to wonder if I'm watching the same show as everyone else is - particularly those who are calling Eddie abusive.

Again, the acting was phenomenal, the cases were typical 9-1-1, and the team work at the end kinda showed that the team might still be grieving, but they still work together seamlessly.

The talk that Eddie had with Hen and Karen proved to me that they actually don't know what Bobby told Buck - that they'd need him. I don't think they'd be annoyed by it if they did. On the contrary, I think they'd be working on helping him unburden himself from the heavy load Bobby (unintentionally) put on him.

As for that kitchen scene, I honestly think it was incredible. The acting OS and RG pulled was crazy, and I could feel their grief and anger and helplessness as if it was my own. Again, I don't think Eddie knows what Bobby told Buck - he's still not over the fact that he wasn't there with the rest when the worst happened. And he's lashing lashing out - justifiably so. And this brings me back to what I was saying about my husband earlier.

See, the thing is, we all know that Eddie was brought up to the notion that showing any sign of emotion is weakness. He's repressed and feeling guilty on top of mourning someone who has literally saved his life. In all the past seasons, we've only ever seen him cry when he had that meltdown - and he did that behind a locked door that Buck had to break down. We actively saw him hold back his emotions and become completely stoic: when Shannon died; when he thought Chris was dead during the tsunami (even if it was for a few minutes); when Buck was struck by lightning, during Bobby's funeral, and so on. Yet, we see him try to hold back his tears when he's talking to Buck in the kitchen after pointing that menacing finger at him (can you hear the irony?).

This brings me to what I mentioned about my husband earlier. My husband and I have been together for almost 16 years - married for 14. We've been through so many different things that have caused us immense pain and resulted in one of us lashing out at the other. Our most recent issue is related to my health, which has been going on for about 3 years now, and if you ask anyone who knows me, they'd tell you that I'm ok - managing but ok. They never see my frustration and my pain and my tears, only my husband does, because he's my safe space. I know I can vent and express my frustration in whichever way I find helpful at the time, and that he'll always hold me, help me up, and support me.

This is what's going on with Eddie. He said that he couldn't cry when he received the news because he didn't want to freak out his kid. We saw him with his clenched jaw during the funeral. Still, maybe on an unconscious level, he knew that, standing there in front of Buck in his old kitchen, he's safe to let go of everything that's been eating at him regarding Bobby's death.

On a not-so-different note, Chimney punched Buck and everyone is a-ok with him (even though it's been years since), yet, here we have people calling Eddie abusive and toxic.

Then we've got Buck, who has a chronic case of abandonment issue-itis, and who (even before Bobby died) always wants to help his family and fix things. He's going around rating people's grief so that he can figure out how to help them - it's the only way he know how to do things. But he can see that they don't need him, not the way Bobby said they would, and he ends up in a confessional booth trying to contact Bobby (may I suggest a Ouija board next time?).

But even though Eddie lashed out at Buck, and even though Buck called Eddie a jerk after reading his note, Eddie (who can barely afford anything by being an uber driver) flew his son over to cheer Buck up, and Buck - the man with a heart bigger than the universe - accepted that with the good faith that it is because Eddie gave him what he needs (his family) without him having to ask for it. Because Eddie saw that Buck was trying to help everyone BUT himself, and he stepped up to do that.

Was Buck making everything about him again? Maybe, but then again this is the same person who has had to spend his entire childhood working on getting his parent's attention. Nothing makes sense about grief - like Karen said: you're grieving, fair can go fuck itself (she didn't say that, but she might as well have).

Anyway - if you've gotten this far, I thank you for reading my rambles and venting. I needed to get this off my chest because I've been feeling like I want to scream at my phone all day after reading all the different posts. Like I said in an earlier post - the amount of people I've unfollowed after the last two episodes is a lot.

[cheesybadgers]

Now I'm finally back home after being away all weekend, some thoughts on 8x17....firstly, I will say, this felt SO much more like an old school 9-1-1 episode and that's precisely what has been missing for a while now. There were a lot of positives about the episode, not least of all Eddie actually got to be the main focus of a storyline again, hallelujah ❤️

I will get to the Buddie of it all shortly, but re: Eddie's storyline, whilst obviously there were some improvements compared to the last few episodes, and the flashback was welcomed (whether it was always intended to be included, or whether it was added in last minute as a response to the backlash about the severe lack of Eddie for several episodes, who knows? But at least it was there), I'm still having difficulty getting my head around why they're making the whole 'Is he returning to LA or taking the job in El Paso?' dilemma into such a big plot point. Like the whole "Ooh was it a Freudian slip that you said LA was your home rather than El Paso?"...well no, because LA being his home was never in doubt in the first place 😭 He never had some great burning desire to leave LA for El Paso. It was a last resort to mend the rift with his son, who was the one who chose to move there to stay with his grandparents because of the whole Kim situation. Chris went so Eddie followed out of desperation to maintain a relationship with his child; he didn't go because he actively wanted to leave the 118 and start a new life in Texas ("I don't like this any more than you do"). The fact Eddie successfully arranged a last minute trip for Chris (and Pepa) to cheer Buck up, and that their interactions once they were all together were all entirely positive, can only lead us to assume the rift has definitely been mended now, plus it was explicitly shown in El Paso Chris wasn't having a great time with his grandparents anyway and had already moved back in with Eddie. So what are we even doing here? Put that damn fixer-up house back on the market lol.

As I said somewhere above, I get this could all be part of Eddie still denying himself joy and not facing up to his (extremely non-straight) feelings for his best friend, because moving back to LA with Chris/re-joining the 118/finally getting his mouth on Buck are the things he wants, but it's been dragged out so long now, and the original reason for Chris wanting to move to El Paso in the first place has been completely dropped from the storyline, that all narrative coherence and character motivations have been lost in the mix. Yet they're still running with the notion that Eddie is torn between LA and El Paso when that was never the root of the original conflict between Eddie and Chris in the first place. Their conflict has been resolved (even if it was off screen for the most part), so there's literally no other plot reason for them to remain in El Paso at this point. Even if this was supposed to be about Eddie still denying himself joy, that was addressed effectively in Confessions...then the whole storyline was just parked and the season went off on different tangents.

Now, in fairness, 8x17 went some way to pick that thread back up again, and I am expecting more to be resolved in the season finale with Eddie and Chris deciding to move back to LA and Eddie re-joining the 118 (this is why I think it has to be either Hen or Chim for Captain so Eddie can take one of their places with maybe Ravi in Eddie's old spot)...and hopefully, there will finally be some solid movement on the Buddie of it all in light of the emergency at the end of 8x17. But it's all been so convoluted and so much has happened off screen, that there's only going to be so much they can do in the final episode.

Now, to the Buddie of it all...oh man, their argument was definitely the highlight of the episode for me, along with the reunion of the Buckley Diaz family ❤️ I liked the way it all tied together with the rest of the episode (getting stuck in bad habits and learning to break the cycle/embracing change even if it's painful and scary/Eddie not 'drinking the water' this time by coming back and facing the music with Buck rather than running away/the importance of found family) and was more character-focused than yet another big disaster.

Their fight was so raw and oozing with tension and an excellent portrayal of two people grappling with the messy, ugliness of grief (and not gonna lie, the cinematography and direction was very queer indie film, which is so unlike 9-1-1 but I approve). Of course they took it out on each other, because that's what you do with the people closest to you (I actually liked that Eddie pointed out Buck wasn't the only one to lose Bobby, because my fear was the writers were going to frame Eddie as coming back to LA to support Buck and not honour how important Bobby was to Eddie as well). Neither was the wronged party or the villain (don't even get me started on the disingenuous hysteria over the finger-pointing in certain parts of the fandom...I'm not entertaining it tbh), they just didn't know how to communicate their feelings properly, especially in light of the fact the boundaries of their relationship are so blurred and undefined. They can't ask for the level of support from each other that they want/need because the nature of their relationship is still the elephant in the room.

Which is why I think the elephant has to finally be addressed in some capacity in 8x18, particularly in light of the big emergency. Not to mention the sudden influx of Ryan/Oliver interviews that appear to be happening over the next week or so, which of course, could mean nothing...

Depending on how it plays out with Eddie snapping back into firefighter mode to help in the aftermath (and possibly save Buck), I may be able to appreciate Eddie's absence from the two-parter more than I did before (although I still wouldn't like the execution of it). Because he's already carrying enough guilt from not being there to save Bobby - and going back further than that, his team in the army - he wouldn't be able to stand by from the sidelines and let that happen again, especially if Buck was the one in danger. So, if that's the thing that spurs him into action, and ultimately triggers a Buddie feelings realisation/declaration, at least that writing choice will have served a major purpose, even if it wasn't much fun to watch play out week by week.

And this is all without addressing the possibility Bobby isn't even actually dead, but I've rambled enough about that theory already 😂

This is obviously not meant with any disrespect to Ravi, but Eddie - an actual army veteran - going against direct orders from a US army Colonel to save his team, given a lot of his PTSD stems from not being able to save his team in Afghanistan, would have absolutely SLAPPED.

[cerealmonster15]

He really pulled a WE HAVE FOOD AT HOME on epel lol

[megamagimugi]

He's-a Gone

Luigi time! To suffer, that is.

(CW: character death)

This is obviously a sort of comlementary piece to I Was-a Too Late. But it's more than just that as it also illustrates a certain fun, dark what-if idea I had. Please keep reading if you're intrigued!

Lore:

Luigi's Mansion, the first game. Everything goes the same as in canon until the final boss fight, when Luigi defeats King Boo in his Bowser costume. After King Boo comes out and Luigi intends to suck him in, the villain laughs and reveals the truth: Mario's painting was an illusion, so was everything Madame Clairvoya saw. All just to mess with Luigi. Meanwhile the real Mario wasn't just captured by the Boos, he was immediately killed by them on their King's orders. The only physical thing that's left of him in this realm is the five items Luigi found - hidden by the Boos for Luigi to find, another part of King Boo's sick game.

Luigi is able to finish the fight despite his shock and grief, fueled by the anger King Boo never expected from him. After getting out of the painting the plumber discovers that it is indeed empty, no Mario or anyone else in the portrait.

Heartbroken and guit-ridden, Luigi goes back to Professor E. Gadd's lab and gives him back the Poltergust 3000. He doesn't even want to stay long enough to see what is going to happen to the ghosts. Of course the Professor tries to offer some semblance of comfort, but we all know it's not his forte.

So Luigi leaves, only taking Mario's five items with him. He notices that the mansion has disapeared without a trace. The reality of it all finally hits him, and he practically collapses onto a nearby tree's large root protruding from the ground, putting down the precious items around himself, only leaving the matching red hat and the letter in his hands. He should have known something was off. After all, the Mario he saw in the painting was wearing his hat and both gloves.

Looking at all these items, to his growing horror he can't help but imagine what exactly might have happened to his brother and what his last moments might have been like. He hugs the hat to his chest and rereads Mario's note several times, knowing that the brief warning was his brother's last words to him.

Luigi can do nothing but cry for the beloved brother he couldn't save, desperately wishing it was his warm, living and breathing body pressed to his chest rather than just a couple of his belongings.

But Mario is truly gone, apparently having met such a horrific fate that not even a single part of his body is left in the physical world.

[Good night]

…I'll leave the rest up to your imagination ;) Sorry if I got carried away with my description. Occasionally even I enjoy being a little dramatic, though I'm no writer whatsoever.

Yeah, I'm not apologizing for making this one - I was nicer to Luigi than to his bro, at least here the Mushroom Kingdom and everyone in it (except for Mario lol) is still okay!

But alas,

You can no longer play as Mario (warning: this is a video with sound)

Rest in spaghetti, funny wahoo man.

EDIT 2025: my best friend and spiritual twin @silenzahra wrote an amazing fanfic Without him based on this piece and idea, as well as this drawing of Mario also by me❤️💚 I highly recommend it, it's an amazingly written story!

@federthenotsogreat I'm tagging you because you said you wanted more Mario art like I Was-a Too Late, thought you might like this one too!

@drones-of-innocence Also tagging you because you were interested in my idea.

Additionally: @silenzahra (remember, no rush) @c-lavanda @jell-o101 @stripetkattelalala54-gf

@luigixfanxayjay @itsavee4117

And you @giddlygoat just because you have a Luigi's Mansion AU and I thought you might appreciate this... Also because I'm a fan 👉👈

[atinycelery]

Anime-onlys being mad at character(s) because they've got limited info about said character(s) and the character(s) did something wrong to another character or simply not being in the same wavelength with the characters they like more onscreen :

Manga readers who have read the manga many times for years before the anime release, have had discussions and lots of analysis, have had more contents about the characters and now can read nuances behind the characters actions :

I'm gonna kill you 😠

[gmbbulldog]

TLDR: having that combined sheet for passives is awesome when it isn't too much to manage. It's especially useful during prep. But everyone's specific abilities are fun for narrative and role-playing reasons, (and for when the party is split up.) Also challenges that resolve around single skill checks are typically kind of lame because they don't usually matter in the greater challenge of how a party manages resources over the course of an adventure, and should therefore be used only when there is a consequence for failure and the party may want to invest resources in guaranteeing success.

I have a party stats spreadsheet where I used to clearly see the passive skill scores of everyone in the party and dole out info or provide checkless opportunities to situations accordingly.

Now, I have a party of six, formerly seven, and my current campaign functions within an adventurer’s guild, such that my players can swap between characters between quests. Keeping this spreadsheet updated as people leveled up and took feats and made more characters became a bit too much of a chore.

Still, for a short while, I found this invaluable in terms of prep. Knowing where the baselines were for my party let me plot out in advance who would have certain knowledge and options at every given stage of a quest. It could be right there in my notes. "Looking over the body, Dr. Ettle would recognize that it was infested by some sort of arcane fungus."

I honestly really recommend it if you have a party that doesn't have 20+ rotating characters spread across five or more players. But it also helped highlight when rolled checks matter. When it's not clear how long a task will take and there's a race against a clock. When knowing all the facts could open up new solutions to an immediate problem. When failure to succeed will be met with punishment. These are moments where the players are invested in success, so much so that they might invest resources like inspiration, a flash of genius, or a limited spell, potion, or item that will contextually lower the DC to ensure that success. Everything else is just scenery and shenanigans.

Sure, it's fun to know who saw the secret door first, but if the party has to find it to progress and they’re not in a hurry, the check doesn't actually matter. If there's no guard patrol to catch you trying to break in, it really doesn't matter how high you roll to unlock the door. It just determines if your party gets hungry while they wait. Either you can get it sooner or later, or you definitely can't, and you need to find another way in. If your character could go back to a library and find the answers to an unknown symbol's significance with no penalty to the party, it's just fun roleplay if your character knows what's up from the get go. And putting checks in these places can be fun. There can be really good roleplay opportunities here. But if it matters and they have all the time they could possibly need, you might as well assume they rolled a twenty and got the best answer they could have. Because a challenge isn't just a challenge in D&D, it's part of a broader test of how you manage your resources. If it won't potentially cost you resources to succeed on a challenge, then you're not really engaging with that core element of the game.

Adding in my old party stats sheet if looking at it would help. Ignore the extra stuff since we stopped using this around level 6.

When you think about it, do players actually need individual character sheets when they're in the exploration/problem solving phase of an adventure?

The whole idea of having an adventuring party is to have a group with a diverse set of skills that can address an equally diverse array of problems. Every time you come up against a locked door, it's going to be the rogue with expertise who's going to try and open (unless something unusual his happening), the same goes for the barbarian moving the heavy thing, the wizard making knowledge checks. Obviously keeping track of individual debuffs/resources is important but lots of things are likewise shared by the group.

part of my brain was half way through imagining some kind of commingled party sheet that would contain the best of everyone's stats, while the other half was questioning whether it was even good game design to have challenges that were so clearly solvable by one kind of skillcheck.

Anyway, just an idle thought, figure I'd throw it out into the aether and see if y'all had commentary.

[ahalliance]

how do i turn qantoine’s spontaneous marriage proposal to qetoiles into evidence of his early-days fear of qfrench drifing away and keeping secrets from one another