#and then the manager came out of his office for once and happened to see the ticket and was like ‘hey you ring this in? the hell are you

[whitenoisefanfiction]

Did I just write a Hannibal/Squid Game crossover reincarnation short fic? Yes, yes I did. Why? Because reasons.

I can't help it that the Front Man reminds me so much of Dr Lecter and Gi-hun is so Will Graham coded (even if I didn't get around to bringing Gi-hun into this story yet)

So this was written fast with absolutly no chill or spell and grammar check and is terribly OOC. Now I am posting it here because I cannot think of a title to post it on AO3. Fic titles are my mortal enemy.

Read if you dare.

-----

If asked, Hwang In-ho would tell anyone that he didn't believe in reincarnation. In fact, if asked later in his life if he believed, he would have probably had the one asking beaten, if not shot. As the Front Man in charge of the Games which had an international reach and money beyond anyone's wildest dreams, he needed to be practical, smart and could not be fooled by silly superstitions. But in private, it was a different matter.

In-ho did believe in reincarnation. In fact, he was sure he himself was the product of such a practice. 

It had happened suddenly, the realisation he had lived before. When the first dreams came, all the way back in 2015. 

They had started the very night he had received Oh Il-nam’s offer to rejoin the Games, not as a competitor this time, but as the Games Master. The one pulling the strings.

In-ho had initially been disgusted by the offer. Despite his loss, he had still been a man of principles and even though he now had blood on his hands, the blood of his fellow competitors from his own game, he still tried to cling to that one small shred of goodness he believed was within him. Tried to ignore the rush of power he had felt at the game's conclusion only a few short months prior, knowing he was the lone survivor and winner.

He had taken the offered business card, the armed guards at the old man's back the only reason he had maintained a polite composure and hadn't lashed out after being cornered. They had managed to locate him in the dark streets of Seoul while he had been walking aimlessly, his life a mess now that his one goal, to keep his wife alive, had failed. In-ho knew then, he hadn’t escaped. They knew where he was. He was still in hell. 

In-ho had tried not to hear the old man's subtle comments about his eyes being those of a killer, of being a man with a peculiar experience. Rejected the offer and ignored the way the old man laughed at the answer, stating that he would be allowed a few days to reconsider. 

“You have been here before.” The old man had said as a parting comment. “I am curious what you will do with your second chance.”

In-ho had ignored the statement at the time, brushing it off as similar to the unusual comments the man had made when they had first met during the games, back when he had appeared to be a frail older contestant, unlikely to survive the trials they faced. 

In-ho had taken some pity on him, back in the games, fooled by the mask. He hadn’t exactly been kind, snapping and pushing the old man when he realised danger was near but he had tried to protect the man at least a little. He couldn’t be a police officer if he had turned his back on someone asking for help.

And that seemed to have been his curse. The reason Il-nam seemed to favour him, enough to make such an offer. 

Head spinning from the confrontation, In-ho had made his way home, card shoved hurriedly into his pocket, only to be taken out again once he stumbled through the door so it could be thrown on the table. 

In-ho had pointedly ignored it. If he was being watched, he didn’t want to give them the satisfaction of seeing him contemplate their insane offer. 

Instead, he had curled up on his too large bed, ignoring his phone which rang constantly as his brother desperately called him and tried to think of anything except for the memory of the fearful eyes looking up at him, the other competitor who had tried so hard to kill him. Tried to think of anything except the strange feeling of pleasure as he felt his attacker's life slip away under his hands. Of the blood money in his bank account, untouched, tainted. 

The dream hadn't felt right either. Instead of slipping slowly into sleep, it had come on suddenly. One moment, In-ho was laying on the cold bed, wishing for everything to change and the next, he was slowly rising from a chair at the sound of footsteps. Standing, In-ho turned to look at his surroundings. A small, sparsely furnished room, more like a cell than a home. But the strange thing was the wall. One of them seemed to be made of glass. He was inside it, like he was on display. An animal, turning tricks for an audience.  

The footsteps drew near and then a man stepped out of the shadows and into view.

He was a westerner, so like the tourists who crowded the streets of Seoul. He was dressed in a shirt and jeans. Comfortable, yet cheap clothing. His dark curls hung limply over his face, partly hiding his eyes and yet, In-ho could feel them on him.

There was something about this man. Sometimes that made In-ho’s cheat ache but he didn't know why. Without thinking, In-ho stepped towards the glass which separated him from the man. 

He noticed how the man trembled slightly, like a frightened rabbit before he caught himself, tensing up and ready to fight. A prey animal suddenly turned predator. 

“Hello Will.” A voice said. 

In-ho heard the voice. He felt it slip from his own throat and yet, it was not his voice. Not his language.

In-ho knew only a little bit of English. He had picked it up over the years but he had never been even close to fluent and would never resort to it as a first language. So why had he said those words in English? Why had he addressed the westerner in that manner? 

The man didn't seem surprised by the greeting, unlike In-ho. Instead, his gaze finally met In-ho's, and In-ho found himself gazing at the most intense stare he had ever seen. 

A mixture of emotions rushed through his body, In-ho struggling to identify them all. Joy, longing, amusement, lust. All of them crashed down on him. And in the man's eyes, he recognised a similar storm. The man was just as caught up in his emotions. 

This man, whoever he was, was important. Important enough that In-ho knew he would kill for this man. Had killed for him. A measly human life was nothing if it meant having this man's gaze on him always.

The man hesitated for a moment before breaking his gaze. 

“Hannibal” He replied, also in English and the tone was music to In-ho's ears. And In-ho remembered the sharp feeling of hot blood on his hands. Of fresh meat between his teeth. A satisfaction of knowing a pig had been slaughtered and there was a game afoot.

In-ho woke with a gasp, his mind whirling.

What had that dream been?

In-ho didn't know, but rather than feel disgusted, he felt intrigued. Why was the feeling of blood, of death, suddenly so attractive? Why did he suddenly feel like he could gain the man's attention, if only he was creative enough?

In-ho didn't know what was happening to him but the ghost of those feelings clung to him like a second skin. The desire, not just to kill, but to impress. To show his true colours. 

In-ho caught himself? What was he thinking? He had just escaped hell and lost his beloved wife and child. He may have been dismissed from his employment but he was still a law abiding man, a former officer of the law. He had seen death close up and never felt anything but revulsion and pity. He had lived through hell, fighting his way out with his bare hands and never experienced a single moment of joy in it. Why now, did the idea of murder excite him? 

And why has that dream felt so real? So right? 

Had it even been a dream or had he seen something otherworldly?

In-ho knew something had shifted inside him. A small part had changed and was continuing to change, as if his soul had taken on something new.

The man with the intense gaze. In-ho wanted, no, needed to find him. To somehow speak to him and understand him. 

But how could he do that? He was a poor man in Korea. Yes, he had just won billions but he had no connections, no ability to find one westerner. He had no idea where these men had even been when this conversation took place. And more to the point, why was he suddenly assuming these men, who had been figments of a dream, were real?

How was he supposed to find out? 

And yet, he did have a contact available. Someone who had vast powers and could maybe give him answers. He wasn’t ignorant of that. But to do that was to possibly sell his soul to the devil. 

Glancing over at the table where he had dumped the card, he thought for a long time about what he could do. 

Days passed as he contemplated his next move, hidden away in his home. He ignored Jun-ho’s arrival, his little brother frantically knocking at the locked door and shouting his name until the brat was finally asked to leave by the landlord. He ignored the phone calls from his peers and friends, trying to find out if he was ok. Ignored his desire to eat or sleep as he replayed the dream in his mind, becoming more and more convinced it was more than a dream.

Finally, on the third day of his self imposed lockdown, he cracked. 

Rising to his feet, he grabbed the card and his phone, carefully dialing the number. 

He hadn’t managed to get any words out when the call was picked up, the voice on the other end stating a time and place before hanging up again. 

It should have been enough to make In-ho wary, but the fatigue of the last few days had left him mentally drained. Instead, he had gathered his coat and the card and left his apartment, making his way to the location. 

A limo had been waiting for him, the masked pink guards outside. One of them had nodded before opening the door to the vehicle for him, indicating for him to climb in. 

In-ho had done so without protest, slipping into the luxurious vehicle. 

As he had guessed, Il-nam had been seated in the vehicle already, looking calm and relaxed, compared to In-ho’s frazzled mind. The old man had smiled, a deceptively warm smile but In-ho wasn’t fooled. 

“What do you mean, I have been here before?” He asked, ignoring the slight to his elder by failing to wait for a proper greeting or address in honorifics. Il-nam hadn’t seemed offended, and even gave an amused smile at In-ho’s behaviour. 

“I mean what I said. You have been here before.”

“Of course I have. It’s Seoul. I grew up here.” In-ho snapped back. 

The old man chuckled, shaking his head slightly. 

“You deliberately mis-understand. I mean you have walked this earth before. A different face. A  different life but the same person.”

In-ho frowned. Although he wanted answers, he wanted them straight, not riddles for Il-nam’s amusement. 

“You are reborn. I saw it in the games. You were a husk then. An empty house waiting for its owner to move in and make it a home. But now, when I look at you…” The man stared deep into In-ho’s eyes. “Hello new friend. I hope you are enjoying your stay here.”

In-ho frowned. 

“You are insane.” He stated, reaching for the door. As much as he wanted answers, wanted help to find the westerner who had haunted his dreams, he was not going to put up with this, being made into a joke for the old man. He was no longer in the game and did not have to continue to amuse him. 

“If I am insane, then please answer this one last question before you decide to depart.” Il-nam said. 

In-ho growled under his breath before turning back to the man, feeling a sudden urge to kill him with his bare hands.

“Fine. And after, you will leave me alone. Never contact me again or ask me to work for you.” He replied, hand still resting on the handle of the door. 

Il-nam nodded. 

“I have been looking into you. Researching your history, even before you joined my games. You were born and raised in Korea, have never even left the country before. No real experiences of other cultures. So tell me, why have you been speaking fluent French to me this whole time?”

In-ho froze. Quickly, he replayed the conversation in his head. 

Il-nam hadn’t been lying. But how? In-ho have never learnt French. Never even had a desire to. And yet, somehow he knew it. Knew it well enough that he had been able to slip into it without trying. 

“I can imagine you are very confused, friend. The old part of you trying to understand this new person you are becoming. Two separate people merging into one.” Il-nam said, sliding forward on his seat to better gaze at the younger man. “I want to help you. All I ask is you help me in return. And maybe we can find out who you used to be.”

In-ho had been reluctant at first, unsure about joining forces with the man who had put him through hell but with no other options to get answers, he had finally agreed and entered a world which was both familiar, terrifying and thrilling. 

Il-nam had explained the concept. It had been something he had studied over his lifetime, and if he wasn’t lying, something he had been studying over multiple lifetimes. When someone died with unfinished business, they could take on a new body to continue their work. In-ho had been somewhat familiar with the concept. Reincarnation was a fairly common belief in some parts of the country, especially amongst the elderly. But he had always thought it required someone to be reborn into a new infant body. He was an adult, in his early 40s. How could he have gone so long and not known this until now? But Il-nam laughed when he had said as much, explaining that reincarnation required a compatible mind and body, not an age limit.

In-ho had reluctantly accepted the explanation as he continued to explore the idea in between his work, learning how to run the games as per their deal. And to his surprise, he found himself enjoying the work. Having the power of life and death over the lesser pigs. The dregs of society who delighted in harming and abusing each other for small gain. Not worth the title of humans.   

The dreams had continued, In-ho and his new mentor working to decipher the information and link it to reality in between planning the next games. And the more they learnt, the more In-ho found himself agreeing. He had been someone else once. 

The name the westerner had called him had been the first clue. 

‘Hannibal’ 

It was not a common name in the English speaking world, In-ho had learnt. But there were a few known namesakes. And it wasn’t enough for him to discover who Il-nam thought he was.

The next time a dream had happened, a few days after he had arrived in his new home, thanks to Il-nam’s instructions, In-ho was a little more prepared to take notice of his surroundings. Again, the westerners had been there, but this time they were in a vast, decorative office space. In-ho had gotten used to opulence in the short time he had been Il-nam’s protege but this room, although expensive, was more refined. He had found himself sitting in a comfortable chair, the seat opposite taken by the westerner with the sharp gaze. 

Leaning in the chair, In-ho found himself handing a notebook to the man. 

“I want you to draw me a clock.” He said in English. The other man, looking haggard, had complied before handing the paper back. The resulting mess on the page, a confusing jumble of squiggles. 

In-ho could feel himself smiling as he closed the book, hiding the page away. 

“What is your professional diagnosis, Doctor Lecter?” The other man asked. “Am I still fit for duty?”

“I already told Uncle Jack you were.” In-ho replied, crossing his leg over his knee. In his peripheries, he could see that he was wearing high quality and therefore, expensive trousers. Something he was still getting used to, back in the waking world. 

“When you rubber stamped me earlier?” The man asked, raising an eyebrow in question. There was a slight air of mockery in his voice, despite the fatigue. 

In-ho couldn’t stop his lips turning up in a small smirk. 

“I do not remember risking my profession for such an underhanded action.” He stated.

“Of course. Plausible deniability.” The man muttered. 

“Or maybe just helping a friend.” In-ho suggested. 

The man glanced in his general direction but didn’t meet his eyes. After a moment, he shook his head, as if dislodging a thought. 

Somewhere in the distance, an alarm sounded, breaking the silence.

In-ho couldn’t stop the sigh escaping his throat. 

“I am afraid we are out of time Will.” he said, reluctantly rising to his feet. 

The man followed the action, rising from his own seat and collecting his worn old jacket from the ground beside him. 

“Same time next week?” he asked, glancing in In-ho’s direction as he draped the coat over his arm. 

“If you wish. You know you are always welcome to come to my home for dinner or even just for a friendly talk off the record.” In-ho said. He stepped forward, casually moving close enough to be what he considered within the other man's personal space but not close enough that the other man could call him out without potentially causing offence. 

A sour scent reached his nose. A sickly smell. It was coming from the other man. 

“I don’t think that would be appropriate, Doctor Lecter.” The other man stated, standing stiffly, not moving away but his body language showing he was not entirely comfortable with the close presence. 

“Nevertheless, the offer is there. Unless Jack Crawford calls for me to assist you again at a scene, we won’t meet again until our next session.”

“Yeah, no offence but that would mean no one died and I happen to think that's a good thing.” The man bit back, a little bit of fire in his voice. It was surprisingly thrilling to hear. 

In-ho felt his lips press together to cover an amused smile. 

“Of course. I won’t keep you any longer. Until next time, stay safe Will.”

“Bye Hannibal.” The man said before striding out the door, not looking back as it closed behind him. 

In-ho stood still for a long moment, watching the door before he turned and grabbed the notebook off the chair where he had left it. He opened the page to the drawing and gazed at it for a moment before tearing the page out. 

Walking towards an elaborate desk, he opened a draw and pulled out a folder, slipping the paper inside to join a growing stack of similar images before returning the folder to the draw and locking it. He then glanced at the desk and a rolodex full of cards. 

Opening it, he pulled out a card from the collection and slipped it in his pocket before he turned and walked towards the door. 

In-ho awoke just as the door swung open, jolting upwards on the comfortable bed in the suite he had been provided by Il-nam. 

Immediately, he rose to his feet and made his way to the small office area in the corner where an expensive laptop was set up, trying to hang on to the memories. 

He had a name now. Something he could use to try and find out more. 

Opening up a search bar, he carefully typed on the unfamiliar keyboard. 

‘Doctor Lecter’

Pressing the enter key, he was almost immediately bombarded with hundreds of websites. 

He had been deep in research a few hours later when Il-nam had arrived at his door, the old man annoyed he had ignored the summons for dinner. 

The other man's annoyance had disappeared as soon as he had noticed the screen displaying a photograph and the pile of hurriedly handwritten notes.

“Oh, you found yourself.” He said, a hint of glee in his voice In-ho wasn’t sure he liked. 

“Maybe.” In-ho said reluctantly. He was struggling to find anything to discredit his theory. The information he had gathered on a Doctor Hannibal Lecter, which should have alarmed him, seemed far too familiar. 

In-ho had grown up with a younger brother and yet, reading up the Doctor’s history, he suddenly had memories of a sister he had never had. He remembered her murder, the terror of that night as a helpless child tried to survive. 

He had never been outside of Korea and yet, he remembered the snow covered forests of Lithuania. The beautiful architecture of Paris and the wild wooded areas of America. 

He remembered the deaths. The rude salesmen and solicitors, more pigs than humans. He remembers the artistry, the passion in the kill. And instead of feeling disgusted or sick, he felt pride in it. He remembered the rich, complex taste of the flesh, cooked to perfection and served to his favored guests. 

He remembered a man. Broken and twisted and so full of potential. A challenge turned into a fascination and then slowly twisting into a deep love. 

His research had corroborated all his feelings, as he read up on the man he now knew he had once been. 

Hannibal Lecter. An infamous cannibal serial killer to some. An artist to others. Declared dead in late 2015, after falling off a cliff while on the run. The very night In-ho had his first dream. 

And the other man.

In-ho had found that there was a name commonly connected to Lecters. An FBI agent who, according to several articles, had made a deal with the devil to catch other killers. 

William Graham. 

In-ho didn’t even need to click on the linked pictures the site offered to know this was his western man. The one with the fascinating stare. 

In-ho had immediately checked and felt his heart sink as he read of Will’s fate. 

Dead. The same day as Hannibal. 

The article he had read had painted it as a murder suicide. The FBI agent destroying two serial killers before throwing himself to his own death. 

Another article said that Will had been Hannibal's lover and they had thrown themselves off the cliff as some sort of final joining of souls. In-ho had felt something deep in his chest after reading that. Something almost like regret. 

So, the man of his dreams was dead. And he…

Who was he?

Was he Hwang In-ho, an indebted game maker and apprentice to a rich man or was he Hannibal Lecter, a notorious serial killer back from the dead?

Was he both? Neither? Or something in between?

Il-nam had watched him in silence and In-ho could guess, the man knew some of his confusion. The old man had mentioned his own struggles with a similar experience as a reincarnated soul. 

"Have you figured out your purpose? The reason you are back?" The other man finally asked. 

In-ho glanced at the screen once more and the image of Hannibal, of himself, on it. 

Will was dead by his own hand. The one person who had fascinated him enough to sacrifice his life for. There was no return unless Will had also been reincarnated and that seemed unlikely. If there was a god, which he doubted, they would never be so kind as to allow him to be rejoined with the other.

But there was a purpose. He had dedicated so much of his life previous to creating art through the punishment of those who offended society. 

The games may not have the personal touch of Lecter’s work but they were still a way to get the message across. Still a way to control and take out his anger on the world. For Misha, his little sister. For Will, his beloved. 

In-ho didn’t know what his purpose was, or how he would ever join these two separate pieces of himself together but until he figured it out, he could find a purpose. 

Being In-ho, the Front Man of the games seemed like as good a start as any.

----

Yes, I know I have a problem. It's called 'I can't stop writing every random thought that comes to my head' hence why I made this blog, so I can write random stuff that may or may not make it to my actual fic account.

[youngwonhui]

✦ live on my knees, make you see | ch. 2

*•. member: choi seungcheol x afab reader

*•. summary: your life goes on, and it leads you to more and more interweaving encounters. Things progresses between you and Seungcheol. More rollercoaster to ensues.

*•. genre: angst, strangers to lovers; kinda, corporate and family drama, life and misunderstanding happened in general

*•. wc: 9963

*•. warnings: unintentionally introducing corporate drama. no, i am not projecting. maybe.

*•. cross posted in AO3

chapter 1 | chapter 2

Shrinking.

That’s the feeling that has been eating your nerve for the past week.

Your team or your new boss never question you when you took a week to work remotely from your house instead of going to the office. A general concern from your team, but nothing that you couldn’t handle with a few excuses of feeling mildly unwell.

Which isn’t exactly wrong.

But the underlying feeling of being a coward doesn’t sit well beneath your skin. Getting you restless even when you’re lying down your bed, safe under the cover. Your thought runs to the unexpected meeting at Seungcheol’s front door.

You remember when your mom caught you once in middle school. Skipping class and spending time in a PC room. Unfortunately she had caught on your investigative mission of looking around the internet For your so called ‘father’.

It resulted in hours of your mother’s scolding. Back then it meant nothing. But eventually you realize that half of her anger wasn’t so much because of you, but because of the fact that you just unearthed. How your father is posting a photo of him and a little boy. Proudly captioned with somewhere along the line of a special day at school with said little boy.

Back then, or now, you can always recognize the bright brown eyes and high cheekbones. How he grown out of a curly hair and braces. If you have any conscience, you would be ashamed of stalking a stranger on the internet. But your anger, it stained your heart and then dried with animosity for years.

For now, obliviousness and daily routine will be your medicine.

As you took another step that morning, finally coming back to the office, wind gets impossibly brisk with every movement you make. Looking down to your feet, you didn’t manage to notice the familiar figure waiting for you by the entrance of the building. Disheveled as ever, tuft of dark brown curls making its way out of the tied hoodie.

“Y/n.”

Looking up, the sight of a visibly sleepy Seungcheol welcomes you. His lips stretch into a lazy smile as he makes his way to you. Dimple carving deeper the closer he came to you. Gulping down the words you wanted to make, you simply accept a cup of warm coffee thrusted to you. Another cup perched in Seungcheol’s grip.

“If you’re not too busy after work, do you want to come up later?” The man in front of you paused, a little unsure in his words but he immediately nodded lightly. More to himself rather than to convince you. Both of you know that you give each other enough respect to do anything you wanted to do. Or in this case, you’re free to say no to his offer.

The long curl that escaped the hoodie has made its way to his barely opened eyes. The warmth of familiarity hits your chilling bone.

How most of your morning spent bumping into Seungcheol like this. After he spend ungodly hours in his studio or apartment. Then, only when the day finally breaks and a glimpse of sunlight finally shown its way past the horizon, only then Seungcheol would finally steps outside to fresh air.

Unfortunately you can only remain silent, unable to offer him a word to cheer up his barely starting day. Fingers gripping the cup rather tightly as you rearrange your thought.

Noticing this, Seungcheol’s free hand enveloped yours. Warmth emanating yours as you sigh defeatedly. With one last caress from Seungcheol’s thumb, he retracted with a murmur of time. Somewhere along the line of not wanting you to be late for work. He turned to the door with a little wave and a lazy smile. You follow suit and climbing up the stairs a few steps behind. Until you arrived at your floor and Seungcheol turned around to you.

“I mean it when i’m inviting you Y/n, so please knock on my door. It’s only me and no one else. If that thought bring you peace.”

\\

There were cards and flower on your desk. Mixes of ‘welcome back’ and ‘get well soon’ written in various colours and fonts. Smiling as you accept it all. Somehow you’re not surprise they—your team, even ordered a cake just to commemorate the occasion.

You had vehemently refused to put on a cone hat, but you enjoy the greeting despite the overly doting attention you had been given. You thanked them more for the work that has been cut out for you. Working a little overtime to research and oversee on-site materials that you could have missed from working remotely. So you dedicated each extra slices of cake for the three.

At the end of the day, you tried waited for everyone to leave. But none of your team wanted you to spend extra time of doing any work. You tried to assure them that you wouldn’t, but they were adamant, resulting in you blurting out that you’re going to see a friend instead.

“If i see you typing on your comp—” It was time to clock out, and you barely lift up your head to notice three pair of eyes are looking at you who still has your butt planted to your chair.

“Are you threatening me Jisun?” You chuckled, making a show to cross your arm.

“Well, you pull this kind of things often. We just don’t wanna leave until you leave.” Soyeon’s reply making you sigh in frustration. A smidge of adoration for them.

“We just want to make sure you’re not overworking yourself again.” Chan simply stated.

“Well, i am not? I’m gonna just go and see my friend and not spend any time working on anything at all.” You raise your hand in defeat. The three in front of you shares glances with meaningful silent discussion. You can still sense the doubt between them. “If you guys have to know, my friend is in this building too. That’s why i’m staying and not rushing out.”

“Then we should escort you to them.” Chan suggested, met with series of nod in approval by his friends.

“Absolutely not.”

The finality of your word eventually makes its effect moments later. When you’re closing every folder and turning your desktop off. Shouldering the bag you bring, as you ushered your team out of the room and eventually the office. True to their nature, the three-left climbing down the stairs with curious whispers.

Presumably planning a coup if they eventually make their mind to it.

There’s always the option of going home. Walking out of the building to convince them further that you wouldn’t overwork as they claim.

Yet the other choice weighs down your heart. Images flashes in your mind. Of messy, curly, and sleepy figure in most of your commute. Always within reach but seemingly far away. Although you have yourself partly to blame about that.

Heaving out a breath, you knocked at the familiar door.

Rendering a smile in your face when the door opened to a sight of Seungcheol. Not much different than this morning, only less fatigue and questionably fluffier. Somehow.

He welcomes you as always, Kkuma trotting in tow. Little paws trying its best to catch up as Seungcheol lead you to the familiar open space. Where his living room and kitchen connected as one, situated in polar opposite.

You catch the faint melody flowing through one of the speakers Seungcheol has installed in various spot of the place. Also noticing the clean state of his apartment. As if Hansol was never here at all. Opening the door to you, resulting in the shattering of your living bubble into the reality.

“Have you eaten? I ha—”

“Hansol and me— he’s my half-brother.”

At the sudden confession, Seungcheol looks up to you. Catching the air you didn’t spend. Looking back straight to Seungcheol as if you’re gauging for his response. Or simply looking for encouragement. Strengthen the bone to support you from where you stood now.

“His father have me before he went to New York and then Hansol was born. I know his father knew about my existence, but i didn’t know that Hansol does too. So, imagine my surprise when i see him opening your apartment door.”

There’s a box full of your baby pictures, hidden by the dark corner of your closet. One picture stood out. Of you, barely opening your eyes as you’re being held by a man you never felt like a father. Your mother didn’t delegate it to you, but you kept it anyway. Like an unspoken open secret.

You wished that apathy is all you felt towards those pictures. But it was otherwise back then.

Barely entering middle school and deep in a childish dispute with your mother, you opened those boxes and simply enthralled by the notion of a ‘father’. Who left you and your mother. Barely months after you breathe the air in this earth.

He left after knowing you.

And that was the spark, of your hidden obsession towards your father’s new family, the family he didn’t abandon. A new partner, a boy, and a little girl. Such perfect family.

It goes on years and years, those obsessions. Until your mother fell sick.

The thought of old memories pricked your eyes. Regrets of mistakes you could never set undone. Clenching your fist tightly to keep your proper composure, you look back at Seungcheol who remained silent. Your eyes boring into his calm composure, clad in an oversized white T-shirt and beige jogger.

“My question remained, Y/n.” Seungcheol paused before pulling a plate on the rack. “Have you eaten?”

“I haven’t but—”

“Then let’s eat. I have to shamefully admit i spend some hours on this seaweed soup but it only ended up being mediocre. At least it had plenty of meat in it. And that’s a win.” You let out a mix of laughter and exasperated sigh at Seungcheol’s proposition.

“Are you not gonna ask me anything?”

You had make a stride towards him. Now only separated by the marble countertop of Seungcheol’s kitchen island. Leaning to the surface, Seungcheol raises his brow at your question. A rebuttal that jolts your heartbeat by a split second.

“Do. You. Want. To. Try. My. Seaweed. Soup?” The emphasize on each and every word while being uttered in such deadpanned face, you can’t help the chuckle that escaped your lips. Looking away to prevent you from focusing too much on the dimple that formed on Seungcheol’s cheeks by now.

Then, you could only give in.

Sat on the dining table that couldn’t be describe by other word than ‘familiar’ and ‘cozy’. Although perched on a quite small table, you admit that you enjoy the proximity of sitting closer to share foods with Seungcheol. Other than when you can’t be bothered and just sat sprawled by the floor with pizza box by your side. That was one night after you helped Seungcheol to bathe Kkuma.

With one bowl of warm rice and more than enough portion of seaweed soup, you sat and kept the silence. You feel like you’ve said what you need and now it’s just up to Seungcheol. Although you had an inkling that it doesn’t have to be up to him.

It never was in the first place. Clarifying your situation to Seungcheol. You could’ve goes on without doing so. Yet there’s a part of your mind where it knows that the fact you just blurt out to Seungcheol lightened the weight in both of your heart and head.

“Are you gonna offer me dessert too?”

Seungcheol looks up to your suggestion, lips tugged to a smile. Cheeks fallen deeper into his dimple. Brown curls down to his eyes but you know he raises his eyebrow. It’s like a subconscious habit for him.

“Sure, what do you want?”

Seungcheol gestures you to follow him, eventually leading you to his fridge. You stood close to the open door, flinching a little from the flowing cold air. It brought you closer to Seungcheol’s side. His one arm still gripping the fridge door handle tightly.

“Don’t judge me, but i just love to stock up on many sweets. Ice cream, cheesecake, cookie dough, pastry, you name it.” Seungcheol admitted bashfully, averting his eyes up and down his fully packed fridge shelves. Strangely you can’t avert yours from his side profile. The proximity allows you to notice how long his lashes actually are.

“You want to bake some cookie?”

Your eventual suggestion earns a slow nod of approval from Seungcheol before he leans closer to you and reaching for the pre-packaged cookie dough.

It shouldn’t surprise you that Seungcheol are not well versed in baking. Based on how he’s making rounds around the space of his kitchen, only looking for utensils and finding ways to pre-heat his oven. So to cut back time, you delegate him to assist you instead.

Mixing chocolate chips and rolling out the dough evenly only took you less than thirty minutes. Seungcheol could only exclaimed in amazement beside you as you eventually slid the tray of dough into the oven.

“Why am i not surprised that you’re good at baking.” Seungcheol started, placing a timer on the top of the counter as you both wait for the cookie.

“You can’t barely call it baking compared to when i used to do a part-time at a bakery.” You chuckled, wiping some grease in your hand with a towel. Setting it aside before settling beside Seungcheol. Leaning against the counter overlooking directly to the warm oven. “But i’ll take that as a compliment.”

Silence easily weaves its way between the two of you. Soft clicking of the timer, as well as pitter patter of Kkuma walking around the apartment.

“Don’t you want to ask me anything about Hansol?” You eventually said. Looking ahead to the orange light inside the oven instead of the man beside you. The heat from his gaze felt warm on your cheek.

“Do you want talk about Hansol?” There’s a low vibration rushing down your from your nape each time Seungcheol speak. “I feel like i’m not in a position to interrogate you regarding your private matter. From where i stood what i’m able to do is invite you to dinner, accompany you to drink some beer, watch a movie, or listen when you want to talk.”

You can feel the rigid muscle on your face, brows furrowed over some jumbled thought of everything that has anything to do with Hansol. Days has passed since meeting him up close, yet your feeling still can’t make itself clear in your mind. Rendering you lost and somewhat helpless. In the end you only feels pathetic for yourself as you try to force yourself to sleep every night.

“It was always me and my mom. We understand each other, rely on each other. Even though i was a young and stupid kid. She accepted her fate to raise me alone, and i always admire her for being able to make me understand how it came to be like this.” You paused, smiling to yourself at the memories of your mother. “She also understands my anger, my spite, as well as my sadness. So— i am sorry if i couldn’t tell you anything right now Seungcheol.”

The man beside you shifted on his feet before positioning himself in front of you. He placed his palms on your arms, holding you steady. Something you didn’t know you needed, even though you’re staying in one spot.

“Then we can just bake cookies.” Seungcheol whispers, resulting to a wet chuckle from you.

“You’re taking your position very seriously huh? What’s next, you’re gonna make me watch the rom-com movie you forgot to finish?” There’s a feeling of relief that Seungcheol didn’t retract his hold. You’ve grown to enjoy the warmth from his palms.

“Well, i happened to fall asleep last night while watching ‘How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days’.”

Harmonious laughter follows to fill the room. Above the droning noises, Seungcheol bowed his head a little in abashed. Fully proving how you’ve managed to read his habit like he’s an open book. You raise your eyebrow in reply, Seungcheol fixes his eyes back to you as he lowers his hand. Regretfully so.

But thankfully he didn’t move away.

There’s a sweet scent wafting in the air. Weaving in between the two of you. A signal that the cookies are almost done baking. Freshly filled with laughter and spurred by the smile that seems like it hasn’t left Seungcheol’s face, your curiosity gets the best of you.

“Have you been waiting for me every morning?”

From this proximity, it allows you to see how Seungcheol’s eyes dance around in surprise. Eventually his gaze returns back to you, a certain confidence lodged in his frame. Wetting his lips once, Seungcheol chuckled in defeat.

“Maybe i am, if i’m not too caught up in the studio.” You blink at his answer, a jolt of surprise running in your brain. “How could i not? After seeing you run away from me like that.”

“I was not running away from you. You know that.” A nod of understanding came as Seungcheol reply. You found yourself small in recollection of that night.

“I do, but with the state you were that night.” A paused, as Seungcheol sigh deeply. “How could i not worry? and then i found out you’re not coming to work the next day? I care about you too much to not do anything and sit on my hand.”

You were waiting. For anything, any signs that Seungcheol is just joking. Or some elaborate explanation of how he only ‘cares’ as a friend. But you’re only met with Seungcheol’s face as it remain in its somewhat default setting. A soft smile and attentive dark brown eyes, almost obstructed by his brown curls.

Desperation must’ve written itself in your face, even you could feel it. The words dies in your tongue though. Fear creeps up your thought over some word Seungcheol has nonchalantly uttered. You want to curse him for that, but you found yourself swayed in the thought of being a person that he cares about.

The loud ring from the timer sends your shoulder flinching. Immediately halting the long thread of thoughts in your mind. Reaching out behind you, Seungcheol moves closer to turn off the timer. He didn’t hesitate to smile sweetly at you before putting the quiet timer back to the counter and then left you to make a beeline to the oven.

Oh, yeah. Cookies.

\\

You almost bumped to a person when you look up from your phone as you’re replying to an urgent email that find you since the break of dawn.

Quick steps fumbling on the sidewalk as you tries to stabilize both your bearing and the person you almost bumped into. Sadly some contents of your bags flown out in the process.

“I am so sorry, I didn’t look at where i am going!” Frantic voice filled your ears before you crouch down the ground to pick up any fallen objects that you recognized as yours. The remaining already picked up quickly by the other person.

You notice the long flowing brown hair with accented small braids as it’s adorned by colourful ribbon. She’s quite young, much younger than you when you managed to look closely at her face as you both stood up after finishing to pick the the fallen objects.

While rearranging the contents of her bag with one hand, you notice her other one that’s gripping her phone tight as showing her screen displaying a map. You don’t know what came over you. Seeing that you never seen the girl around this time of day, while said girl is holding a map to some direction, you have a hunch that the girl is probably lost.

“Do you need help with directions?” You offered, quickly pointing to the map in her phone.

“Oh my god, i would say no because I don’t wanna inconvenience you more. But i am so lost. I think i’ve been circling around these block three times.” The girl exclaimed, a hint of annoyance painting her voice.

You make a quick queries of where she headed and to your unexpected surprise, she showed you the address to your office building.

“Oh? I’m actually going there now.”

“Oh my god. Are you for real?”

With a quick nod, you offer her to join you in your commute. The girl jumped a little as she gleefully agrees and immediately following your footsteps.

You make a quick apology when you realize you have to answer some email as you walk. Not being able to entertain the girl of some conversation. You should be wary of stranger, or at least paid some attention to your surroundings when you’re walking with one. But your guts telling you the girl is harmless.

She walks with her eyes wandering to anything that caught her attention. Your own eyes couldn't help to wander to her. How some of her feature, although hidden under the long flowing curls of brown reminded you of someone. The thought dies down on the tip of your tongue once you realize you've arrived.

“We’re here, do you need help findi—”

“Sofia!”

The two of you turned to the source of voice.

There was a rush as the girl beside you hurried to leave your spot and skips away in a gleeful shriek. As you turn to where the girl was going, nothing could prepare you for the sight of the other person.

The familiar brown eyes and high cheekbones.

“Hansol, i spend the whole hours walking around the street—”

The girl— Sofia’s words are quickly cut as Hansol lands his eyes to you. Even from far away, you can see the Hansol clenches his jaw tightly. As seem in resolute, he dragged Sofia by her elbow and make his way to you.

The fear that knocks you out almost a week ago strangely doesn't find you. Standing still as you held your phone in hand. You thank any nearby god that you still has strength left to do so. Who knows what else you would do in this situation.

��Ouch, dude what the hell—” Sofia muttered in annoyance.

“I— thanks for helping her. We will be going.” Bowing his head rigidly, Hansol breezed past you with Sofia in tow.

They leave shuffling away as Hansol managed to keep his hold on Sofia who put less effort on her struggle. Yet managed to turn her head back to you and wave with a smile.

“I don't know who you are but thank you for your help!”

Subconsciously you found yourself waving back. Despite your stunned thoughts from the whilrwind of interaction between Hansol and the girl— Sofia. And you.

Blinking the thought to pushed it away. You went to work like nothing happened.

Finishing task after task like nothing is bothering your mind.

And when the clock strike at 6PM, when majority of the office already leave or in the middle of getting ready to leave, your mind tuned back to those thought. Back to the surprising meeting from this morning.

Subconsciously you found yourself knocking at Seungcheol’s door. Pack of beer in your hand.

Strange to think that your muddled mind brought you here. To a place that you don't even know until a few months ago. Through some coincidence at that. The thought of many late night snacks and quick banter of conversation every time you bumped into Seungcheol has never failed to bring a whisper of smile on your face.

You wouldn't dare to admit it from time to time. But as your deep rooted habit remain a baleful shadow in your mind, you boxed that thought and feeling and wrapped it in the most beautiful ribbon. Easy in your mind so you wouldn't dare to delve deeper into it.

“Well hello Y/n.”

But it was so easy.

To swim into his dark brown eyes, framed under his strong brow. Nestled above his ever so raised cheeks that slope into his dimples every time he smiles.

“Hi there, wanna help me drink this up?” Raising the pack in your hand, Seungcheol is quick to take it off of you when he realizes what you bring.

With a slight tilt of his head, Seungcheol urges you to go in. Complying felt easy on your step. Smiling when you spot a white fluff coming in fast from across the room once you set yourself inside. Among the space you felt comfortable and in peace.

Unsurprisingly, Seungcheol already has a spread of little bites on his coffee table. Surrounding a legal pad and his ipad. As usual, there’s a flow of music through the speaker. Lulling you deeper into the warmth of the space.

Turning to a smiling Seungcheol, beers already set to the table before he looks back to you. The coziness are inviting you to spill your thoughts. To empty your day to him, in words uttered with the background of whatever music Seungcheol has put on. While Kkuma is somewhere dozing or strutting away her energy around the place.

Talking about everything but not the one you had been stored away, Seungcheol noticed the slight strain in your brow as you gaze at the can of beer you’ve been nursing for the past thirty minutes. A slight nudge on your arm took your attention from it and into Seungcheol. His gaze questioning.

“You talk about even the littlest thing about today. But why do you look like you still have so many more to tell me.” His voice are never demanding. Low rumble in your proximity as he’s always softly easing you to your thoughts.

“I think i met Hansol’s sister today.” The silence from Seungcheol are urging you to continue. Inhaling deeper with a hint of smile, you put down your beer to face the man beside you. “I remember when i was looking into Hansol’s dad, that he’s having a babygirl. A baby sister for Hansol. I remember i was so angry. I don’t quite understand why back then, heck i even denied to everyone around me that i was angry. Masking it all like a prideful kid. What a shame. Because if i just admit those anger, i think the grudge wouldn’t be eating me up like this. Making me live my days working like a dog as if i wasn’t enough for anything.”

Your voice has tapered to silence, the amount of alcohol you had consumed doesn’t quite helping your situation now. Spilling old and dried thought into someone like Seungcheol.

Wordlessly, Seungcheol slid his hand to yours. A light squeeze is enough to give you all the assurance in the world. That he’s listening.

“After knowing Hansol has a baby sister, i tried to forget about their existence. I stopped digging around and keeping tab on the family of a man that abandoned me. I lived, but like i said, i feel like i live as a corpse. Even when my mom fell ill, when she had to move to a care facility with our distant relative in Daegu because i can’t really took care of her and she wouldn’t want me to stop going to college here. Even then, i still think about them. I always thought that i would never meet them. That i could never discern his face among the crowds and we would live passing through each other without truly knowing each other. Yet here i am, bumping into both of them, and Hansol are probably thinks that i was a weirdo or a creep.”

A raised eyebrow from Seungcheol earned a chuckle from you. He know the reality of your last sentence. That even though years had passed, you still could recognize Hansol—and even his sister just from a single abrupt meeting.

The lack of sobriety in your part lets you feel a little loose. Letting out airy laughs without fully paying attention to the decreasing gap between you and Seungcheol. Sitting sprawled above his soft rug and leaning against his sofa. A crushed cans of beer put aside, your sole excuse just so you can come knocking to Seungcheol’s door and then spilling years of buried down secrets.

“You know, we all imagined all sorts of things in our life. And the funny thing is, seems like the universe are always listening to those, but they only listen. So that they could do things so out of your way that makes you think what you’re dreaming is useless. At least that’s what i always thought after failing to do everything that i wanted. A little silly thought to comfort me rather than blaming it in other people and then fall deeper into baseless hate.” Seungcheol giggles, his shoulder shaking as his hand remain on yours. Thumb caressing lightly in nonchalant.

Maybe you were much more lacking in sobriety than you thought you were. Maybe it’s the slight rumble of Seungcheol’s laughs and deep voice that you could feel whenever he’s near. Nonetheless, there’s something pulling you. An invisible force—first in your mind. As you circle around another thought you wrapped away, acting like you don’t even see it. Back to a few nights ago, spent together in the kitchen and with sweet smell of cookies.

Acting like you don’t know what came over you was easy. But actually doing what your mind told you to do is giving you such rush that rivalling the height that alcohol brings. And sweeter, even.

Your free hand traveled to cup Seungcheol’s cheek. With a surge, you plant your lips to his. Soft as you can feel the cherry lipbalm Seungcheol often applies. With your eyes closed you savour the air that has left your lungs and now filled with a deeper substance that bring a jolt to your heart with every second.

It was a peck on any other level, you’re somewhat didn’t dare to do more than that after feeling the body beside you froze as you continue your ministration. The audible little gasp from Seungcheol proven further to you that maybe a peck is enough for you. Enough that you didn’t cross any line to push him away.

You didn’t dare to utter any words. Simply pulling away slowly as your eyelids flutter open to the sight of Seungcheol, his face is a perfect example of soft steel. Strangely enough you think Seungcheol can read your mind. Because the moment you’re about to burst out of where you sat and scramble out of his apartment, Seungcheol has had his grip on your elbow. His palm felt burning on your skin.

“I can’t let you go home like this.”

His whisper anchors you to remain where you are. Buzzing with a newfound excitement when Seungcheol wouldn’t move even a millimeter away from your lips. A smirk on his lips accompanied his words while his free hand had traveled to hold your nape.

The burning hold he had on your elbow loosened but the sensation remain.

“I was so surprised, i thought the beer was mixed with something. Causing a hallucination of you actually kissing me.” Seungcheol’s warm breath washes down your lips. You can’t control yourself to remain unaffected as you bit your lower lip. Your eyes searches his.

“Well you can’t barely called that a kiss, Seungcheol.” You taunt.

“That’s true, here let me show you then.” He smiles.

Was all that you heard before you can feel his smile on your lips. The hand on your nape pulls you closer as you wrap yours around his, burrowing your fingers to the curly strand that earned you a satisfied hums from Seungcheol. His lips are still chasing yours with a small tugs to your freshly bitten lower lips. It sends your toes quite literally curling into Seungcheol’s expensive carpet.

There was barely any moment Seungcheol would let you pull away. No matter how breathless you both feels. The way you both melting into each other’s touch felt too good to end so soon. Not when you’re close enough to feel each other’s heartbeat in such proximity.

The months long since you’ve been meeting him, you felt like it sets so many things afoot. A roller coaster that you would never thought to happened. Your whole life have not been a flat ground so to say, yet the things that happened since the day you accidentally set yourself in front of Seungcheol’s apartment felt like it has to happened whether you like it or not.

That include meeting Seungcheol.

You had to admit that you’ve been avoiding the feeling you got. Each meeting setting off more surprising warmth in your heart. From the little smile Seungcheol gave you as he offers you a piece of gum each time after you’re done smoking to the time where he looks down from his window as if he’s a modern day rapunzel.

Unknowingly a chuckle had escaped your lips, bouncing off straight to Seungcheol’s face. Eyes half lidded as his long wisps of his eyelashes grazes his cheeks. He can’t help to mirror the delight on your features. You leaned into the thumb that has traveled to your cheek. Rough calloused surface caressing softly with as much care in the world.

“What’s so funny? Y/n?”

Despite his light grumble as you shift in your seat, inadvertently creating a few inches gaps between you two, Seungcheol kept his gaze to your lips. Curved into a smile, a rose blush painted on each end.

“Nothing,” a pause as you took a deep needed breath. Your muddled thought eventually settled throughout your long winded day. “I don’t know why, i just feel happy. Despite what happened today.”

Without a beat, Seungcheol pulls you into a hug. One that neither bone-crushing or halfhearted. Enough to make you feel the warmth of his chest, clad the soft materials of his T-shirt. Reveling the scent of his cologne due to the proximity, you let out a content sigh.

“It doesn’t matter what happened today, you deserve it otherwise. To feel happy.” Seungcheol whispers to the crown of your head, in return, catching the faint mix of coconut and a hint of floral from your hair products.

There’s a faint crackle from the speaker far away. Whatever song or playlist Seungcheol has put on might have ended. None of you really paid attention to it though. Time flows perfectly fine to slip into the bubble you both had created. Enough with each other presence.

The perfect mixture of warmth and happiness.

It flows through your vein. Seemingly connected to Seungcheol with every whispers and caresses he gave you. Nobody care that Kkuma has trotted closer and dozed off by the end of the sofa, nor that time has gone past midnight and you fell deeply asleep in Seungcheol’s embrace.

\\

Waking up hungover on a wednesday wasn’t really included in your weekly plan. Yet here you are, a dull ring reverberating throughout your cranial cavity. It certainly doesn’t invite any good memories from college. Not that you’re often passed out drunk on someone else’s sofa often.

Now that you think about it…

Forcing your heavy eyelids to open, you’re cringing from the bursting sunlight that welcomes you. Your free hand immediately flew to cover your face. But to no avail, the heat is worsening your already bad headache. Slowly being aware, you eventually realize the weight in your other hand. Hanging free from the edge of the sofa you laid on.

Nervously turning your head to your side, the sight welcomes you like the morning sun of fall. Such warmth unexpectedly coming through the fallen leaves and chilling breeze. How could it not when you had spotted Seungcheol laying down on the carpeted floor right by the sofa, his one hand tightly holding on to yours as he lay on his side. Curly bangs falling over his eyes, perfectly framing his squished sleeping face.

You thought you were going crazy as you manage to not tear your eyes off of the sight. Pink plump lips slightly ajar as he breathes, and the cheek who carved into a dimple when he smiles has turn into a full curve. Much resembling a bun.

A helpless laugh unknowingly went past your lips. Uncaring of the headache you’re experiencing. Wincing, you took a deep calming breath before continuing to glance at Seungcheol’s sleeping figure. Until a soft pressure applied to your hand quickly steal your attention.

“Why don’t you take a picture? It’ll last longer.”

Your eyes immediately widened, a slight blush went up your cheek at the thought of being found out.

Seungcheol pries one of his eyes open, looking up to you despite the glaring sunlight. He continues to play with your intertwined hand as he laughs drily. Seemingly in the same situation of hangover as you.

“I would take a picture, but my hand is occupied.” You laugh lightly, inciting the same response from Seungcheol. “Why are you down there though?”

“Why? Am i too far? Do you miss me already?” Seungcheol mumbles through his signature smirk.

“Well, your sofa is big enough for the two of us. So, my question remains.”

A quick flash of smile from Seungcheol and within second he’s sat up from where he lay. Messy curl nest of hair leaning over you. Close enough until you can spot the places where he had missed during shaving. Deep inside, you're trying to fight how fond you are of him.

“Unfortunately i snore in my sleep. Although yes, i do want to hold you close, i don't want to wake you up with such unpleasantness. So i’d rather sleep down here— which surprisingly is comfy enough, rather than disturbing your sleep. How is it? Does that answer your question yet?”

Biting your lower lip to hold back a smile, Seungcheol rests his head promptly near your arms. Softly mumbling how he's got to give Kkuma her breakfast. And incidentally, your stomach rumbled just after he finished his words. Fixating his gaze back to you, Seungcheol can't help the teasing smrk painted on his face.

“Would you look at that. Now i got two princesses to feed.”

A melodic deep timbre of laughter flowing through the room. You thought of how nice it is to be woken up like this. But for now, you still hid your face under your palm to mask the embarrassment.

\\

The sweater Seungcheol has offered you to change into felt impossibly soft. Added bonus point that it smells like him a little. Taking a warm shower after notifying your boss that you’ll be late, then Seungcheol already stood in his kitchen. Preparing the breakfast he had ordered. In a new set of clothes and a damp hair.

“How's your head? The shower helps right? I got some light porridge for breakfast.”

Even in a white T-shirt and beige pants, Seungcheol looks stunning. You steel yourself to brought up the words you want to say. Almost spending an hour in his bathroom, you had been filling it with some thinking. About last night and your feelings. How the flashing images of the kiss you share sends enough butterfly on your stomach that you had to grip the cold marble counter for it.

So midway through finishing your bowl of porridge and a side of warm tea, you called for Seungcheol's attention. The man by your side immediately raises his head, Kkuma dozing comfortably on his lap. Like a permanent accessory.

“About last night,” Seungcheol has his eyes focused on you, as you're trying to find the right words to say. “I might be drunk and might not be in the right state of mind. But i would be lying if i say that kissing you was a mistake. Because, I think i like you. And i don’t want you to think that the kiss was just, you know. A one time thing. Or worse, a mistake.”

The inside of your stomach would like to vacate its vessel. And it’s not caused by the hangover. The way Seungcheol continues to stare at you is as if you’ve grown a third ear.

For what feels like a decade, Seungcheol broke the silence with a big heave of the breath he’s been unknowingly holding. One hand flew up to cover the big smile that blooms. Bigger than the feeling of relief as if a two ton weight has been lifted from your shoulder.

“You think you like me?” Seungcheol has this teasing tone in his words, you can only bite your lower lip to prevent the big grin that’s fighting to come out. “Well this is awkward because I am quite sure I like you. What are we going to do with this?”

Kkuma whines softly when she's placed down to the chair. Now vacated as Seungcheol already stood and step closer to you. Your eyes trained to Seungcheol’s every move, you tried your best to held back the racing heartbeat. Possibly loud enough for Seungcheol to hear now that he's towering over you. Toned arms caging you to your seat.

His eyes inviting you to recreate your last night’s activity.

“You know I have to go to work right?” You murmured.

“I know. You wouldn’t missed work for anything. That far, i do know.”

A lazy smile blooms on Seungcheol’s face, he raises his hand to caress the hair that has fallen to your face. You shamefully fixated your eyes to his hand—fingers. Knowing that Seungcheol has his own eyes to you.

The event last night truly unlocking a whole new level of push and pull between the two of you. And you don’t know if you’ll survive through it. You might not be strong enough to resist the man in front of you.

With a chuckle, Seungcheol picked up your empty bowl and making his way to the sink. Picking up his along the way. Of course he didn’t forget to flash you a cheeky smile along the way.

You follow his steps, making beeline to the sink and get yourself comfortable leaning on the counter beside Seungcheol. Small little footsteps can be heard following you. Seungcheol laughs when he spotted Kkuma right after you. Muttering how he almost feels jealous.

“You know? Hansol recently talks to me about you.” Seeing the calmness in your stead, Seungcheol continues, “he also tells me about you. Your relationship with him. Even last night he texted me. It seems like he wants to ask me more about you. But he beats around the bush.”

As you sighed with a pout, Seungcheol only shrugged lightly to you. Finishing on the last dishes to rinse.

“I’m not telling this to bother you. I’m only telling you because, well I don’t want to keep secret from you.”

“Even after years, i still don’t know what to feel. About Hansol. He’s like someone far away that doesn’t even know i exist, yet i harbored too many resentments on him. Undeservedly. Sometimes i feel angry, another time it’s jealousy. At other time i felt happy when i saw the picture of his graduation. Imagine my surprise when i saw him on your doorstep. And then him, calling my name.” Seeing the apologetic look on Seungcheol’s eyes, you immediately shot him down. The words died before it went past his lips.

“Hansol, he just came back from the US. He’s been there to help produce an album. For almost two years.”

“Has he lived here long?”

“Well i met him when he’s already in the same studio as i was. That was when i’m on the last years of college. Then we got closer as we signed to the same music company.” You merely nodded at the new knowledge. Adding it to a box named Hansol by the corner of your mind. Completely oblivious to the look Seungcheol is sending you. A fine mixture of fondness and nostalgia.

“That…s great. I guess,” you huffed exasperatedly. Once again lost in your own leaping thought. Reminding you of why swimming deep into your work is your choice to drowned out any conflicting thoughts from your past.

The hand resting on the counter are quickly held by Seungcheol. A form of reassurance you have found both comforting and revving up your heartbeat. Unnecessarily at times.

“I said it last night. And I will say it again. Your feelings are valid. No matter how small you feel. Or confused you are. I am happy to be around and be a constant reminder and help you to feel better about yourself. Because you are. Much better than how much you give yourself credits for. Believe me.”

It took you years to quit your obsession with your half-brother. Validating your mood swings that plagued your young years. Regrets and mistakes in memories of your mother. Long long time to found yourself where you are now. Grounded and for a moment that it's worth, Seungcheol’s word brings you peace. It sets you free.

\\

A new sight welcomes you. In a form of Seungcheol, comfortably clad in a big varsity jacket and as cuddly as he could. He welcomes you when you dragged your feet out from the office.

Among the mass of people trying to get home, you smiled as you feel your steps went lighter as you make your way to him. As if you’re pulled to him.

“Hi there, have any plan for tonight?”

“As a matter of fact, i do. With my soft duvet and blackout shades.”

A pout instantly appeared on Seungcheol’s face upon your reply. A sight you found delightful each time you see it.

“How about i offer you better plan? The night is still young.” On extended hand, Seungcheol smiles to lure you.

It took you no time to take it in yours.

Seungcheol took no time to drag you off into the night. On a sunset car ride. To a place he explained as his workplace. He jokingly warns you not to freak out if you see any celebrities. But your reply only sends Seungcheol further into your charm.

“Don’t worry i don’t pay attention to any celebrities. I only got my eyes on you.”

Seungcheol almost forgot that the two of you are currently on an elevator in his agency building. He could just trap you between the metal wall and kiss you to his heart’s content.

Unfortunately he found a sliver of restraint.

His hand never left yours as you traveled through long white hallway. There are faint rhythmical thumps can be heard on each door you both walk passed. Eventually you arrived at a door, plastered with big decal stickers spelled ‘S.Coups’.

His studio welcomes you, as clean yet as homely as you had imagined. Quite big as to accomodate the recording equipments and a few shelves filled with trinkets. The studio does feel like another home for Seungcheol. Maybe that’s why you felt a sense of the same coziness you felt from his apartment.

Seungcheol invites you to join him on the couch, patting the empty space beside him. You waste no time to abandon your bag to the floor and snuggle close to him. Seungcheol already has his arms around yours. Going through netflix to browse anything interesting to watch on the big widescreen projected across the studio.

“I have a feeling you sometimes spend a night here.” You muttered against the soft wooly materials of Seungcheol’s jacket. The softness reminded you of something you own.

“Night? Try days.” You can feel Seungcheol’s chest rumbled as he chuckles out his answer. He then continues, “speaking of spending days here. I have to warn you just in case. Hansol has been sleeping in his studio for a few days. The pipe in his old apartment suddenly burst. A few days after he came back from US.”

“Is he— alright?”

“Don’t worry, he’s built like a tank. He only needs place to stay while his apartment is getting fixed. That’s why he’s at my house that day.” Seungcheol cupped your chin to turn your face to him. “I just don’t want you to be surprised just in case we bumped into him. Wouldn’t want you to run off from me.”

“When have i—”

Your cheeky smile is quickly wiped when Seungcheol brought your face closer to his and planted a kiss on your lips. Quickly, you reply with the same fervor as your own hand traveled up to his jacket’s lapel and found your anchor there. Seungcheol pulls you closer— bringing you in for another kiss, breathing in your little gasp as Seungcheol easily positioned you to straddle him. Good thing that you have tight hold to him.

You haven’t cared to admit, but the hold he has on you is escalating at an astronomical rate it almosy flungs you up to the stratosphere. It got you fixated on Seungcheol’s every move and admire each flex of his face muscle that forms his dimple.

Ok maybe not only his face muscle.

You took the time to admire his other muscles altogether. Running your hand along his broad shoulder, you didn’t hesitate to bunch the fabric of his T-shirt and give it a tug. Seungcheol is quick to respond with a groan as he chases your lips further. You took a deep breath, willing your body be closer to him, impossibly. Melding your torso as you moved your hands to circle around Seungcheol’s neck when he begins to take off his jacket.

The heat escalade around the two of you.

Until his phone vibrate by the small coffee table. Quiet buzz can be heard behind you.

“Seungcheol, you have a call.” You whispered slowly, lips barely leaving each other. The man in front of you huffed with a smirk. His hold never falters, growing warmer with every second.

“I am aware of that.” Seungcheol replies, hurried words as he still chasing your lips. Equally whispering, his deep voice hums across your lips.

“What if it’s something important?”

“More than this?”

Sometimes, you hate being levelheaded.

You obviously dislike pulling away from Seungcheol’s lips. The sentiment mirrored by Seungcheol. Swiftly reaching out behind your back to his phone, the device still buzzing in your grip as you handed it to Seungcheol.

When the man under you groans, you begin to regret your decision. You hate it more that Seungcheol is too observant of your reaction. You shamefully biting your lower lip, staring intently as Seungcheol eventually accepts the call on his phone. His gaze boring to yours, his hand freely roamed the small of your back.

You have to admit that none of the conversation registered to your ears. So when Seungcheol ended his calls and readjust his hold to you, who still conveniently straddling his lap, you instinctively loop your arm around his neck.

“I have to meet the CEO now.” When your eyes rounded in surprise. Eventually discerning his words, Seungcheol only chuckles before pecking your lips. “I hope you’re happy. For making me take that call.”

“Wait, do you actually have to go?”

“Don’t miss me too much dear. I’ll try to be quick.”

Seungcheol leaves you no time to register the term of endearment he just addressed you with. It took you with the same surprise as he maneuvers easily to flip you around. Your yelp followed by the thud as you landed on your back against the sofa. Seungcheol still grinning devilishly. He leaves you with a quick peck and letting you know to his mini fridge in case you feel like snacking.

When the door clicking close, you slumped into the sofa. Feeling childish at the amount of regret you developed for letting Seungcheol take that call. Quickly brushing away the thought, you rose from the sofa and decided to take a closer look around the studio.

The big shelf stood on one side of the wall are full of little trinkets that’s best described as a look inside Seungcheol’s life. Picture frames, old baseball, and many signed memorabilia from possibly the biggest star that you could have imagined. Yet you’re oblivious to them.

It brought a smile to your face when you can spot Seungcheol smiling in almost all of the picture you see. With Kkuma, his friends, family, and much more of him in a new light that you’ve never seen before. One picture caught your attention, Seungcheol are clad in the same varsity jacket, arm slung to what seems to look like a younger Hansol, with longer tuft of messy brown hair and braces. There’s two other people in the picture but your eyes fixated on the two.

Just how long they’ve been known each other? If you had continued your attention towards Hansol, would you have known about Seungcheol back then?

The sound of the studio door unlocking caught your attention.

You were ecstatic to welcomes Seungcheol back but the door opens to another person.

“Seungcheol hyung, can i have some of—”

In retrospect, it’s a good thing that Seungcheol actually warned you earlier. Because right now, Hansol stood right there, just a mere meters before you. Without looking in the mirror you’re convinced that the look in both of your face are the same. Like a fish gasping for air.

Eventually Hansol snapped out of his stupor, shaking his head before averting his eyes. With both of his hands clenched, Hansol about to pivoted on his feet and hurried to make his way out of the studio. But not before you called out to him. Your mouth ran faster before you could pull the brake. But no use crying over spilled milk.

“I— i’m sorry if i make you uncomfortable that day. I heard that you were crashing at Seungcheol’s place and well— i just feel like i need to say sorry to you.” Throughout your words, Hansol went visibly rigid. A frown has settled in his face as time goes by, but you continue on to voice your words. “Also, i hope your sister are okay that day. She was wandering around and i—”

“Please— stop,” Hansol voice is small. Almost sound so choked up it surprises even himself. “Please just, stop. Please.”

When you took an instinctive step towards Hansol, the man staggers backward before eventually leaves the room in such hurries. You could never forgot the face he made as he left. It burns the same as the memories of your young. But unlike the smiles that you followed.

After Hansol left, you feel like you could count the seconds but at the same time, your mind couldn’t tear itself off of the image of Hansol. Leaving you with such pain visible in his frame. Eventually you were so lost in your thought that you didn’t even hear Seungcheol returning to the studio in grins.

Instantly the sight brought a small smile to your face. Seungcheol doesn’t waste any time to cuddle you on the sofa. Getting himself comfortable as he lay snug in your arms. You can’t help the giggle that escaped your lips as you do the same. Shifting in your seat to accommodate Seungcheol’s big frame to fit your hold. It doesn’t surprise you that he enjoys being a little spoon.

The frequent appearance of pout on his lips are one of the sign.

“What were you doing while i was gone?” Seungcheol starts, his fingers are making quick to the remote. Still in a mission to search a movie to watch on netflix.

“Hmm, not much. Hansol came here.” To this, Seungcheol immediately straighten up from your hold. A pair of confused and widened eyes scanning your face for answer. You smiles at his reaction. “He left almost immediately though. Not before looking like he’s somewhat in pain.”

Seungcheol hands quickly cups your head and hugs you close. Leaning into his touch felt like the most natural thing to do. Letting the warmth envelope you whole while at the same time calming your thought and lifted up your mood.

“Do you need me to talk to him?” Seungcheol voiced out, instantly you shook your head.

“No. I will talk to him myself if there’s a problem. I’m just more worried and confused. We just met and Hansol looks at me like that.”

Sensing your somewhat unsettled mood, Seungcheol determined to make you feel better. He flashes a grin to your questioning gaze as he suddenly vacate his spot. Opening the hidden drawer under his big desk, Seungcheol came back to your side with abundant of snacks in his hold.

A familiar sight of your favourite coffee bun immediately caught your attention. Eyes widening in surprise upon the sight of the rare treats.

“How did you have these! I love this.” You exclaimed. Seungcheol beside you are busy opening what looks to be a melon bread and a few more spread of pastries on to the table.

“Oh, now i know what to watch.” Seungcheol exclaimed, grinning at the sight of you munching lightly on your indulgent treat. “Nanny McPhee, how about that?”

“Now are you spoiling me? Favourite treat and then movie?”

“I know. Aren’t i just the best, huh?” You tried to maintain a straight face as Seungcheol playfully winks at you. Yet you can’t help to reply back by frowning at him.

As the movie starts you can feel yourself getting calmer. Your previously distraught mind is now filled with warmth and playful smile from Seungcheol. While the man has his eyes forward, you carefully scan him. A wisp of smile on your face to the sight you have familiarize enough in your heart. Each time Seungcheol has managed to surprise you with encouraging words to validate your feelings, as well as every little acts that sets your heartbeat faster.

“You know, i noticed that we used to go to the same college. I saw your old photo with varsity jacket. The same one you wore today. I just realized that.” You pointed out, eyes focusing as the opening narration begins to fade with whimsical music. “I might not be an avid almamater, but I have a varsity scarf myself. I love them.”

Wordlessly, Seungcheol took you to his arms. Another attempt to cuddle comfortably and let the familiar movie lulls the both of you deeper into the house full of children wrecking havoc. He’s heard you mentioned this movie a few times. At first denying that it was your favourite comfort movie. But as times passed and Seungcheol pointed out you begin to admit so. With a sheepish grin and endless teasing in that afternoon.

With his eyes forward as he tries to immerse himself with the colourful old english countryside, Seungcheol’s thought remain on your words. His memories flow like the quiet river. He decided that to let it remain untouched.

“Well i used to go there, but i never graduated sadly. I think i enjoyed too many free time that i have, going in and out the studio as i like and getting rewarded for things i used to do just for my hobby.” Seungcheol’s admittance is followed by a wisp of smile, somehow you can feel it entirety on your mind.

“But don’t you love it now?” Seungcheol fears you can feel the thump in his heart so he stutters out a laugh. Looking up to him, you smiles before kissing him softly. Humming along the now softer thrum in his vein as he capture your lips in reply.

“I’ve grown to,” Seungcheol only pulls back enough far enough. Half lidded as he kept his lips hovering above yours. “All the culmination of it, is what makes me here now. With you.”

\\

prev chapter || next chapter

[mossyscavern]

How in Primus?!

_______________

It was just a normal day on cybertron…

Battling in an on going war, gathering supplies, desperately trying to fight the decepticons while gathering the energy needed to explore for another source…

yeah that one is a little bit more difficult to manage, but it’s all for peace.

Optimus Prime has just finished his duties and was about to enjoy his break.. when he heard hurried ped steps trudging towards him before they stopped as the door opened to reveal his weapons expert.

“Can I have a word with you prime?” Ironhide asked. “Of course ironhide, did something happen?” Optimus wondered. Ironhide shook his helm.

“Not exactly… uh, we’re on an ongoing war right?”

“That is exactly right.”

“And megatron, Y’know? The enemy… hates autobots right?”

“As far as I know… where are you going with this?”

The weapons specialist took a deep inhale, most likely from stress of the situation. Optimus has a feeling it has something to do with-. “Is this about bumblebee?” The prime asked, placing his data pad down.

“YES! It- just-… HOW?!” Was all the weapon specialist got out. “How what?”

“HOW?! Can our sweet, hardworking little minibot with a huge spark made of solid gold, bumblebee… be related to THE TYRANT OF CYBERTRON?!!?!!!?” “Ironhide shouts, not believing every word he himself said.

“That one was already complicated on its own, but as far as I can tell megatron cares very deeply about his heirs.” Optimus told him, going back to his data pad where he had left off.

“… is cliffjumper his too?!!??!” Ironhide asked, slightly concerned. “Hide, I ain’t related to the warlord.“ Cliffjumper chimes in, a cube of Energon in his servo.

“Not even related to the yellow sunshine either… maybe in a different universe.” He adds, drinking from his cube. “Why are you calm about this?!” Asked the weapon specialist.

“Honestly? I wasn’t at first. But after some time it sort of settled, you’re not the only one who freaked out and asked Optimus about it.”

Ironhide oh’d at the information, turned to Optimus who nods in confirmation. “Right… I think I need to lie down.” Ironhide says before leaving optimus’ office.

Once ironhide left, bumblebee came by, waved hi to cliffjumper and saw ironhide walking away. Words weren’t needed once he saw the weapons specialist slowly walking. “… he questioned how I’m related to megatron?”

“Yep.”

“… I still don’t understand how he keeps forgetting that, we’re not even related… but I still see him as family and he did found me when I was only a sparkling-.”

“Ok bumblebee, we get it. You don’t have to retell me the whole thing again.”

_______________

I… forgot to mention something.

This is also different interpretations of the whole ‘megatron as bumblebee’s mom/dad’ thing. There are some I’m doing where bumblebee knows megatron when he was only a sparkling. Some that are when he’s actually related to megatron..

It also sometimes has megatron mourning his lost sparkling-. And the last one is just soft moments where megatron contemplates on adopting him because of how sweet he is.

What they have in common? is that megatron cares deeply in these scenarios. That and with how confusing the whole thing is… sorry.

[moteldogs]

oh so when I’m mouthy it’s all fun and games but when my woman coworkers backtalk they get in trouble. ok

[coldilikeit]

Isekai reader x Batfam (Neglected au)

Female reader

Chapter 8- The REAL beloved princess

_____________________________

"This is so fucking bullshit" someone says as she storms out her used to be office, this someone got fired from her job after management found out she was stealing from the company

She's frustratingly fondling with the keys of her car and drives off in a pissed off state, "What's so good about them anyway.. I was top of my class you assholes! It was just a couple hundred thousand dollars, I needed vacation money!" She yelled

What she didn't notice was the light turning red meaning all cars should stop, then she crashes and hits a teenage girl, she swerved out to run away from the scene but her frantic driving makes her hit a pole and she dies

Then she wakes up as a 9 year old girl, she wakes up as "Viviana"

She's a little socialite and influencer who bullies people poorer than her, once a scandal about her was shown after she was seen throwing her leftovers at a homeless person's head

She's the daughter of a famous whore model and an unknown dad, her mom slept with one of the guests at fashion week and had her

Life was good for Viviana, vacations, designer bags and clothes, private school

When Viviana was 10, at one of her lavish birthday parties an earthquake happened, she was about to get crushed under the debris but a screen popped up

Welcome Reader! To the favorite child au!

Your story goes as someone who lives a normal life, but then when your mother dies, you find out you're the daughter of none other than Bruce Wayne! Aka Batman, the family immediately loves you and you become the most cherished person in the Manor!

After that Viviana's life changed, she was then actively trying to poison her mother so she can start the story of her being loved

She was given missions that gave her points and superpowers as rewards,

So far she has

Super strength, Lazer eyes, and infinity bag (a bag that has whatever she needs or wants at the moment)

At first Viviana didn't want to become a vigilante like the system was telling her to be, but then the opportunity came when she was transferred to Gotham prep, there was a school shooting and her brothers were watching, of course she had to show off

She apprehended the bastards and was praised by the school

Soon she was appearing alongside the bats, She was then given a love meter by her system to see how much they loved her, so far she's at 30%

There was one problem, that one girl

(Name) Wayne.

She wasn't part of the original family!?

Then her system informed her that she was another reincarnated person, but she reincarnated as the "neglected" one

How pitiful, Viviana laughed to herself

The problem is that bitch (Name) made the family love her... She had years with them!? It wasn't fair!

They were even throwing a gala for her birthday, the last straw for Viviana was when Bruce, the man who's supposed to love her most and declare her as the favorite child, danced with the bitch he's supposed to hate!

She couldn't wait and introduced herself right then and there, it was really unfortunate that her mom had died due to the Joker's attack

Why are her brothers smiling at her!? Why are her sisters adoring her!? This wasn't how it's supposed to go! She's the beloved daughter!

Viviana vows to make that change.

The party ended abruptly and now the family find themselves in a private room

Duke leans on the sofa "So you're that protagonist vigilante right?" He looked wary of the new girl

Viviana looked shocked "How did you!?-" Duke laughed recalling a memory, he looked at (Name) "Someone once told me 'A new vigilante appears, Bruce gets a new kid, it's not rocket science' huh (Name)?"

"we'll have to verify the DNA test you handed me" Bruce coughs "Until then you'll stay in a guest room-"

"Master bedroom." Says (Name), the system informed you that his girl is another reincarnated person! You've never thought you'd meet anyone back in your old world! Maybe you and her can help each other with missions and stuff!

Everyone looks at you "What? If she does end up becoming our sister are you going to treat her like how I was first treated? Make her feel welcome" you smiled, you found out that she was reincarnated as the "beloved" one of the Bat family, and her mission is opposite to yours, make everyone love her, you'll help her with that, and maybe she'll help you too

____________________________

Bruce feels tired, he had just made you feel part of the family after years of neglect, he feels like you were finally opening up to them and now you guys can be one happy family

Then Viviana comes.

"Maybe I should just fuck infertile women", he groans, the door opens and comes in the devil "Viviana... Why are you up? It's so late?"

She smiled "I saw how stressed you were at the family meeting earlier... I made you some tea" she said, Bruce falters "How... Thoughtful of you, thank you Viviana"

Bruce smelled the aroma, a sweet scent, he doesn't like sweets but it's fine, it was from his daughter, he took a sip... He was surprised it wasn't sweet at all, it was a bit bitter with a tangy taste, it wasn't a good tea, but who is he to complain?

Reader- um I mean... Protagonist! His love meter is going up in an alarming rate! What happened?

"I told you to not mess up on what you call me..." Viviana angrily whispered, I mean, she was the protagonist, so she doesn't see a problem on why the system shouldn't call her that

Viviana relaxed in an armchair near her father's desk "You know... My tea has a special ingredient... First it's him then the others... And then the entirety of Gotham..." She whispered

But protagonist... Using a love potion to up your love meter is considered cheating... If you get caught, or the love potion wears off, we'll both get in trouble! I suggest you get their affection the natural way!

"I hope you have a goodnight Father..." Viviana smiled then left the room

Protagonist! Bruce is still a vigilante! A scary one at that, if he finds out about this your love meter might plummet!

"it won't. Don't worry, I won't let it happen" she looked at her stats

Super strength- 6/20

Lazer eyes- 8/20

"System why aren't you doing anything to make this go up!?" She growled

You're the one who's supposed to make that go up on your own! By fighting villains! With every criminal you rehabilitate or put in jail, your stats go up, so far you've only managed to out the school shooters and some muggers

"powers aren't that important anyway... What matters is that girl, who does she think she is!? She was even trying to show her influence in the family by changing their minds and making me sleep in a Master bedroom!"

She was probably only trying to help you... She's been informed of your mission by her system

"Screw that! She's just scared that I'll take her place, so she's being kind to me to make herself stay! I'm going to take everything from her, those warm gazes, the gifts... They were mine in the first place!"

____________________________

Look who I met on an outing!

_____________________________

@jellyedkazoo @vanilliona @shyenemyperson @popboomcha @plsfckmedxddy @devotedlyshamelessdetective @dorkatron-2000 @yuyuzi-ling @sweetsugerskull @butratherbutrather @yu-reiii @clementinesyummy @lfiee @iamapotatoe @type-ink @unknownloner1345 @randomlyappearingartist @justatimidcreator

[beloveds-embrace]

Hello! Thank you for feeding us the angstier timeline of the dukedom au!! I live for angst

You don’t have to entertain this thought ofc, the angst and how good you write for my brain worms worming. I just can’t stop thinking about what would’ve happened if König wasn’t there and instead the duchess had to suffer all on her own

(Or better yet, if he was there but ended up also leaving the duchess for someone else or was killed protecting the duchess)

Reader having to endure everything on her own which eventually leads her to falling terribly ill and in the olden times we all know how a simple cold could turn into more and yield deadly results

The stress combined with the overall lack of appetite (and the food not cooked well at times to add to that… more angst (: ) as well as other factors rendered the reader terribly ill

Maybe she fell into a body of water and had to save herself, or maybe she was caught up in a rainy storm on a walk with no one offering her warm clothing or a cover up until she eventually managed to get back that leads to pneumonia

Maybe she gets injured but hides it until the blood loss gets to her and infection sets in

Just so many options and flavours of angst

Anyway, thank you for sharing your writing with us! Agin, you don’t have to engage with this, so please don’t feel pressured!! I’m just having many thoughts and am currently going feral /pos

WAITTT WAIT I LOVE THIS

Because imagine clinging to König, to your one singular source of comfort in a manor that has no room for you, and in the end, he leaves as well.

You had been telling yourself that you had been simply more imaginative lately; König was simply busy, he wasn’t growing more and more distant! The way he looks at you now compard to before hasn’t changed. At all. His responses were in hums and nods, noncommittal but that’s okay, sometimes you did not feel like speaking- like existing- either.

Until he stands in your office, the light from the windows reflecting off his armour. You had been happy to see him, a smile on your lips to be in the company of the only one who didn’t seem to despise you.

When he tells you that he will not be doing this anymore, it feels, for a very split second, like your heart shatters into a thousand tiny pieces. You can feel the shattering of each, single piece.

Better place. He says, pity in his eyes but no regret. He pauses for a second. I wish… the best for you.

König leaves you like that; staring after his back in abject horror. Every step he takes echoes in your ears, until you are left alone in your office, hands trembling, and your ears ringing.

After that day, everything practically crumbled. You crumbled.

Without him, the weight of your isolation became unbearable. The disdain of the household grew sharper once it became known your only solace was no longer there, the whispers more cutting. Meals came cold, uneaten. Sleep eluded you, and the constant stress gnawed away at your strength.

One fateful day, you went outside in a desperate bid to escape the suffocation. The air was crisp, the sky gray with the promise of rain, and yet you still did not turn back. You wandered farther than you intended, your steps aimless even as the first drops began to fall.

The storm came quickly afterwards, drenching you to the bone. Your thin cloak offered little protection, and the chill seeped deep into your skin. By the time you returned, trembling and soaked, no one was waiting to help you. No fire had been lit in your chambers; no warm blanket was offered, and no company was given.

The fever began that very night, burning through you with a strength that left you bedridden. Days passed in a haze of pain and delirium. The wound you had hidden- an injury from your fall in the storm- festered, the infection spreading rapidly through your weakened body. You hadn’t the strength to call for help, nor the faith that anyone would come even if you did hoarse out your voice in your attempts.

Only when your condition worsened and you really, truly disappeared out of view, the household finally took notice. Whispers swirled, faint echoes beyond the fog of your fading consciousness, and everyone became alert of your absence, meals returned untouched and maids reporting it’s weeks since they’d helped you with anything.

John sat in his study, nursing a glass of whiskey as the fire crackled in the hearth. He told himself your absence didn’t matter- that you were retreating because you’d finally realized the truth. But when he closed his eyes, he saw your face as it had been on your wedding day- hopeful, trusting, and unaware of the coldness that would greet you.

Simon found himself pacing the halls around your room more often than usual. He would glance toward your chambers but never step inside, convincing himself it wasn’t his concern. And yet, something about the silence unsettled him.

Johnny had begun to notice the meals sent to your chambers were left untouched, the plates returned barely touched or sometimes not taken at all. He hadn’t cared at first, dismissing it as you sulking because no one was giving you attention. But now the thought lingered- had you even been eating at all?

Even Kyle, with his sharp tongue and sharper gaze, felt the unease creeping in. He found himself hesitating when passing your door, his usual indifference cracking as guilt gnawed at him.

In the end, it’s Kyle who couldn’t stand the silence anymore. He stepped into your room, telling himself it was simply to prove to himself that you were fine and just- sulking.

The sight stopped him cold.

The room was dim, the curtains drawn, and the air heavy with the faint, sour scent of illness. You lay motionless on the bed, your body shockingly frail, your skin damp with fever. Your hair clung to your forehead, and your breathing was shallow, each breath rattling in your chest.

You didn’t even notice him. Not even when he turned around and barked sharply for John, for a doctor now. You didn’t notice him at all. Not him, not John or Simon or Johnny when they appear while the maids run to get the doctor.

(Kyle will never tell anyone how utterly sick he felt upon seeing the dried tear-tracks on your face. The unfinished, rotten meals near the bed. The tear spots on your pillows. He will never, ever forget today. He doubts any of the others will be able to do so, either.)

[nadvs]

the act of unravelling (part four)

pairing rafe cameron x pogue! female reader

rating mature 18+

summary you never expected you’d get tangled up with a kook, least of all, rafe cameron. one night, you make a life-altering decision to get revenge on someone you both despise. after you vow to keep what happened a secret, your relationship begins to twist into something more.

tags very dark! violence, homicide, drug and alcohol use, parental neglect, mental illness, s/a, trauma. no smut.

< prev

You sit in your manager’s office, facing the bay window that overlooks the vast golf course. Your fingers are interlaced in an effort to hide the way your hands are trembling.

When Detective Brading asked for the space as you meekly followed him into the office, your boss shot you an unsettled glance, then agreed and left the room.

It throws you into a chilling realization. Everyone will give you that same condemning look when they find out the truth. You can’t imagine why else a cop unexpectedly came to your workplace and dragged you away – he must know what you’ve done.

The confidence you had last night that you’d get away with this crumbles when the door slams shut, making you flinch. Detective Brading expels a deep sigh. Why doesn’t he just arrest you and get it over with?

“Every second in a missing person’s case is precious,” the detective tells you. He sits on the edge of the desk instead of in the chair behind it, staring down at you. If he’s trying to scare you, it’s working.

Missing. At least that means they haven’t found Porter’s body.

“I hate to disrupt you like this at work.” His words mismatch his tone. “But I think you can help us.”

“How?” you ask.

“You said you were with Rafe for a couple hours the night Porter went missing,” he says. “Do you know where he went after he dropped you off?”

“Home,” you answer quickly.

“And you’re sure about that?”

“I’m…” You can’t be too defensive. It’ll raise red flags. “Pretty sure.”

The detective sighs again, as if you’re disappointing him with every word you say.

You glance at the framed photos of your boss and his family on the wall. He lives such a comfortable, normal life. You lost your chance at normalcy the second you told Rafe to pull the trigger.

“I’m sure it’s hard to hear this about a friend of yours, but we think he played a role in Porter’s disappearance,” he says. “And we need to ask you to talk to him about that night.”

“Me?”

“Yes. We’d have you wearing a wire.”

“What?” you say, floored. “Why me? We haven’t been hanging out that long. I don’t think he’d trust me enough to tell me anything.”

You hope you didn’t just discredit yourself or Rafe. But if they try to get one of Rafe’s other friends to trick him into a confession, you know for a fact that he wouldn't admit a thing. But you? You’re the only person he’d openly talk to about what really happened.

Your body is tight with anxiety. Maybe that’s why they’re asking you to do it. They think you know something and Rafe slipping up in a conversation with you is their meticulous way of proving it.

“I shouldn’t share this, but his other friends don’t believe that he’s entirely innocent,” Brading says. “You’re the only one we spoke to who does. And I think Rafe knows that you’re in his corner. I can tell you’re a good kid. Do the right thing and help us find Porter.”

You don’t buy it. You can’t ignore the instinct telling you that Brading is suspicious of you, too. He’s manipulating you. And for once, it feels good to be underestimated.

If you refuse to help, it could work against you. But if you agree, and you find a way to warn Rafe that you’re being listened to, that’d help your case. And his.

“I’d have eyes on you the entire time,” the detective explains. “He’s out on the golf course now. He came alone. Act like it’s just another day at work. Strike up conversation. See if he can open up about what he did after he dropped you off that night.”

“You want me to do this now?” you stutter.

“Like I said, every second is precious,” he says. “I know you’re caught off guard, but he’ll be, too. It’ll work to our advantage. I’d be in your ear, telling you what to say. You can handle this.”

This is a trick. It has to be. He cornered you because he suspects you, and now, he’s trying to outsmart you.

You mentally run through the possibilities. You can’t contact Rafe to warn him. But you could type a note out on your phone and find a way to flash it to him inconspicuously.

You’ll figure it out. And if you can’t, you’ll back out and say you couldn’t handle the pressure.

“Okay,” you agree. “I can do it.”

“Good.”

“I just need a second. Can I go to the restroom?”

“Yes. I have to ask you to leave your phone. We can’t take any risks.”

He assumes you’ll give Rafe a head’s up. Now you’re sure you’re a suspect, too. You try to look understanding as you hand him your phone.

·········

You’re seconds away from a panic attack as you pace around the private restroom, trying to figure out how the hell you can tip Rafe off. Maybe you should just back out.

Then, it comes to you.

The logbook tucked in your backpocket. The one Rafe teased you about and called your diary just last week. It’s your way out.

You uncap the pen hooked onto the book, open to an empty page, and write: wearing a wire. act innocent.

·········

Rafe lines up his club behind the white ball, his shoulders tight. He can’t shake off what happened last night.

You’re afraid of him. You pulled him in and pressed your lips against his, but then you shoved him away when he tried to hold you. And after you promised you wouldn’t screw him over, you left abruptly and took away the warmth he’s spent his whole life craving.

You’re supposed to have each other’s backs. He owes you and he wants to protect you, but you act like he’s a wild animal you can’t trust won’t bite you. He doesn’t know how to prove that you don’t need to be scared of him.

And it’s not just you expecting the worst of him. The way his own friends have been acting around him, shifty and tense, is pissing him off. He is guilty, but the fact that they have no faith in him digs a hole into his already overwhelming loneliness.

He’s out here on his own because he desperately needs to clear his head. He desperately needs to see you.

You drive the cart over the paved pathway to where Brading told you Rafe is. Your heart is racing, terrified this will go terribly wrong.

“You can still hear me clearly?” Brading says in your ear.

“Yes,” you say quietly. The earpiece he gave you is tiny and unnoticeable. The logbook you placed beside you after you drove off is the only chance you have of warning Rafe.

“Remember, act natural. Bring up Porter when it feels right,” Brading says. “Looks like he spotted you.”

You pull up to Rafe as he places a club in the bag hanging off the back of his cart. You remind yourself over and over that you have to speak about Porter in the present tense.

You can’t believe you’re here. Life twisted and turned and things you never imagined possible are your reality now.

There’s a genuinity in Rafe’s smile when your eyes meet his, the complete opposite of the pompous smirk you’ve seen over the years you’ve known him. If your heart wasn’t already pounding from adrenaline, it would be from the way he’s looking at you.

“Finally,” he says. “I was getting thirsty.”

“Don’t tell me you want a beer this early in the morning,” you sigh tensely, staying seated as you look over your shoulder to the cooler packed in the back. Brading is yards away, parked in a cart and posing as a golfer taking a break. Your breath is shaky.

“I’m kidding,” Rafe says, a little softer. He steps forward, hand on the roof of your cart, leaning closer to you. His eyes search your face. You’ve been aching to see him again. You wonder if he feels the same. “You mad at me or something?”

“Ask him why he’s alone,” the detective instructs you, jerking you out of your small moment of joy.

“I’m always mad at you,” you joke. “How come you’re alone out here? You’re always with your friends.”

“They’ve been pissing me off lately,” he mutters.

“Why?” Brading says. You plead with your eyes that Rafe just look down at your note, but he speaks before you can repeat the detective’s word.

“Why’d you run out last night?” His gaze trails down to your lips, his voice low. “Thought we were having a good time.”

It’s embarrassing to know you’re being listened to. And nerve-wracking that now the detective knows you’re more than just friends. Anyone could tell from Rafe’s suggestive tone that something happened.

You did suddenly leave the closet you’d led him to last night. Kissing him got to be overwhelming. But you can see in his gaze that it wasn’t just an impulsive, passion-filled makeout at a party. It meant something to him. And it’s a relief, because it meant something to you, too.

The chemistry you felt with him was always returned. It was just contained. Watered down. And now, whatever this is could end before it even begins. He could say one thing and get you both into trouble.

You regret agreeing to this. You need to get Rafe’s attention on the open book beside you before it’s too late.

“We were. I had to get back to my friends,” you say. “Why are yours pissing you off?”

“You know,” he says, glancing to the side. “They’re always lookin’ at me like I’m guilty.”

You can hear your pulse. You keep your eyes on Rafe, discreetly tapping on the page. He doesn’t notice. He doesn't follow your silent instructions.

“Are you?” Brading says. You repeat the two words, your throat dry.

Rafe’s brows furrow in confusion. He looks at you again. A tense silence blankets you.

“I wouldn’t tell anyone,” you say. “Not even my diary.”

Your heart lifts in all-consuming relief when Rafe catches your meaning. He looks down at the logbook and realization washes over his face.

You’re safe. The man in your ear isn’t going to discover a thing.

“What, you agree with them?” Rafe asks. His tone is casual, but his Adam’s apple bobs with a nervous swallow. Your eyes are locked knowingly, enveloped in the comfort that he knows to play along now.

“Tell him no,” Brading says.

“No,” you half-laugh. “I’m just saying, if there is something about that night that you didn’t tell me, you can trust that it’ll stay between us.”

“I was with you.”

“Ask him what he did after,” Brading instructs.

“Not all night,” you reply, cocking your head. “Where’d you go after you dropped me off?”

“Home. You know that,” he replies. “Even you’re doubting me now? Come on.”

“No,” you repeat. You reach for his hand, eyes trained on him. “I’m sorry. I just meant to say… if something happened, I wouldn’t judge you for it. You trust me, right?”

Rafe’s body buzzes at your touch. He does. He completely trusts you and it’s such a new, comforting feeling and he wishes you felt it for him, too.

“I do,” he says.

“You’d tell me?”

“I would.”

You nod reassuringly.

“I don’t know where Porter is,” Rafe says. “And I wish people would stop looking at me like I did something to him. I’m so sick of everyone expecting the worst of me.”

You’re not sure where his lie ends and the truth begins, but his fixed gaze is heavy with sincerity.

“We’re not getting anywhere with him,” Brading mutters. “End the conversation and meet me back at the office.”

“I don’t expect the worst of you,” you tell him.

His shoulders relax and you can tell your words did something to him. You nod again, a small, relieved smile pulling on your lips.

“I should get back to work,” you say. “You sure you don’t want anything to drink?”

“You’re just fishing for a tip now,” Rafe replies, smirking.

“Guilty.”

You both share a soft chuckle, the twisted joke behind your word choice not lost on either of you.

·········

The detective is tense when you see him again, a minor crack in his confident demeanor. It’s clear he thought he was going to catch you – both of you – today.

You thought you’d clear your and Rafe’s name through the monitored conversation, but Brading just looks angry now.

“You didn’t mention your relationship is more than friendly,” he says, arms crossed as he stands across from you in your boss’s office. He didn’t even care to sit down this time.

“Sorry. I didn’t know you needed to know that.”

“I need to know everything. You were withholding information,” he tells you. “And there’s something else you’re not telling me.”

The facade he was putting on has faded. He’s on edge and direct about the fact that he doesn’t trust a word out of your mouth.

“There isn’t,” you reply.

“Listen,” Brading says, his voice heavy and terse. “Porter’s family brought me into this because I’ve had a long, successful career of putting away scumbags like your boyfriend. I know your type. I know you’re covering for him. And you’re just making it worse for yourself by not telling me what you know.”

You don’t respond, staring at him blankly, your heart drumming in fear.

“I could make things easier for you if you just admit it,” he says. “A judge is likely to be lenient when someone helps with an investigation. I’d vouch for you.”

He’s intimidating. But you won’t give in. You never will.

“I don’t know anything,” you state.

His lips close into a firm line as he steps past you.

“I’ll see you soon,” Brading threatens before he opens the door.

·········

The lip of the sun still clings onto the ocean horizon as Rafe drives south. He was relieved when you texted him to come over tonight. He needs to see you. And he needs to talk about what happened this morning.

You answer your front door and Rafe takes in your gentle gaze and he swears that the pull he always felt towards you is a thousand times stronger because for once, you actually seem glad to see him.

“We can go to my room,” you say. You’ve been anxious to meet with him. You can’t control your impulse and you don’t see any reason to.

You press your cheek against his chest and wrap your arms around him the moment your bedroom door shuts behind you. His heart is thudding against your ear, his body hard and warm.

Rafe hesitantly cups your arms, not sure if you’ll push him away like you did last night.

“He just showed up at my work,” you say in a nervous rush, “and I thought if he heard you say you didn’t do anything, he’d back off, but then he said he knows I’m hiding something. He’s onto us. I don’t think we should talk to him without a lawyer. I can’t afford one. You have to help me pay for one.”

Rafe realizes you’re trembling beneath him. He doesn’t give a fuck that the man who scared you like this is a cop; if he was in front of him right now, he’d punch him.

“I will,” he says. “That was smart. The note.”

“I was so worried you wouldn’t see it.” You pull back, craning your neck to meet his eyes. “I know it was risky. You did a good job.”

He nods, gazing down at you. He’s not used to people telling him he did something right.

It’s unreal to be here, standing in your bedroom, past the guard you’ve forced him to stay behind for so long. It’s intimate seeing where you live, where you sleep, where you exist.

“He told me a judge would go easy on me if I helped with the case,” you admit, “but I have your back. And I don’t expect the worst of you, okay? I know you have my back, too.”

“You trust me?” Rafe asks, a hint of surprise in his deep voice. His hands drag down your arms, stopping at your wrists.

You wriggle against him, a subconscious test that you’re not trapped. He immediately releases you.

It makes his chest ache to know you expect him to harm you.

“I won’t hurt you,” he says.

Your body betrays you. Tears surface, hot and fast. The fresh wound lodges against your heart.

“It’s not…” You step back, knees wobbling. Your legs are suddenly desperate to rest and can’t hold you up any longer. “It’s not personal.”

You step away, sitting at the edge of your bed, head in your hands. You’ve barely been keeping it together, trying to outrun the shadow of pain that’s been haunting you. There’s no limit to what you’d give to forget what happened.

You brush your hands off your face when you hear the floorboards creak. Rafe leans in front of you, crouched at your feet. You watch his hands ghost over your calves.

It throws you for a loop, seeing him on your floor like this. For so long, all you assumed about him was that he thought he was above you. Now, he’s on his knees for you.

“Hey.” He says it in the same way he did after the gun went off. He doesn’t have to tell you to look at him. You know that’s what he wants.

You meet his eyes, and when you see the genuine concern swimming in the deep blue, all the strings hardly keeping you together unravel.

“It wasn’t about money,” you utter tearfully.

“What?”

“It wasn’t ever about money. He didn’t rip me off.” Your sobs start to come out as gasps. “He hurt me.”

Rafe’s veins turn to ice. He frantically searches your face for an explanation because no, it can’t be what he’s thinking.

“I passed out while he…” You shake your head, tears rolling over your cheeks as you shut your eyes. “It’s like my mind couldn’t take what he was doing to my body and I passed out. And then you came in…”

His breaths grow shallow. That’s why you were as angry as you were. Why you cried as hard as you did. Why you tense up and shove him away when he holds you.

When Rafe pushed Porter in that room, he never would have expected you’d be there, bearing the pain of something that fractured you. He’s furious, disgusted, in disbelief.

He sees now that you meant when you said you don’t regret killing him. The empty look on your face was never guilt. It was fear. Trauma.

“I know I shouldn’t have gone upstairs alone,” you whisper, eyes still closed. “I didn’t think–”

“Stop,” he says softly. His hands rest on your face, palms gently cupping your wet cheeks. Of all the things you thought you knew about him, you would’ve never expected him to be so tender. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

It settles your coiled heart hearing him dismiss the nauseating, intrusive thoughts you’ve had blaming yourself for what happened. You finally open your eyes to look at him again.

His eyes are glossy. He knows now and he’s looking at you with so much sympathy that your chest stutters with your gasps, stomach somehow twisting in both pain and relief.

For once, Rafe doesn’t say the first thing that pops into his head – that if he knew what Porter had done, he would have made him suffer, he would have tortured him, instead of shooting a single, life-ending bullet. Because there’s no point. You saved his life that night and he wishes he could’ve saved yours, but all he can do right now is tell you what he will do instead of what he would have done.

“I’m never going to let anyone hurt you again,” he murmurs. “I swear on my life. You’ll always be safe with me.”

He’s hesitant to startle you with his touch, but thankfully, you lean over and wrap your arms atop his shoulders and it’s so gratifying to know you’re using him to ground yourself.

Rafe holds you like he can’t get close enough. Because he can’t. Nothing he does now can take back what happened to you but everything he does moving forward will be to make sure you never experience a horror like that again.

His life is no longer a cycle of numbing thrills. He has a real reason to keep going now.

You inhale the comforting smell of his neck, your cheek pressed against his. You curl into him as you shake through your sobs.

“Nobody else knows,” you admit, voice muffled against his skin. “I didn’t think I’d tell.”

Even after what you’d done together, a bond that didn’t exist between you before digs its roots into you both. He’s holding you with softness you didn’t know he was capable of, after making a promise so sincere that you felt it in your core.

“You’re safe,” he whispers. And for the first time since that terrifying night, you feel it.

·········

It’s been five days since Brading accosted you at work. Even though he hasn’t bothered you since, and there haven’t been any public updates on the investigation, you’re on edge knowing that you and Rafe are suspects.

Since then, when you’re not working or hanging out with your friends, you’re with Rafe.

You still haven’t told the guys. You don’t know how you could possibly prove to them how good of a man Rafe actually is when you can’t tell them a single detail of what’s happened between you. You’d rather not have to explain yourself to them. Not yet.

Rafe doesn’t pester you about being your secret. As long as he’s something to you.

It’s dusk and you’re sitting on the quiet beach with him, cocooned in comfort and curled up on the sand, the setting sun playing across his handsome face.

Since your conversation in your bedroom, you haven’t spoken about the night that tied you two together.

But you have been speaking to each other like never before, holding onto the playfulness that always existed beneath your banter, allowing yourselves to talk and joke and kiss with no inhibitions. Except he doesn’t dare hold you without asking if he can first.

Tonight, as you sit side-by-side in the clouded orange and pink glow, Rafe feels a smile on his face, a real one, after not smiling for so many years. Being with you is the first time in a long time that he feels vaguely normal.

“It’s too bad,” you say, gazing at his dimples.

“What is?�� Rafe rasps.

“That you’ve been keeping this smile from me for so long,” you say with a glint in your eyes. “Why were you so dedicated to hating me?”

“You hated me,” he scoffs with a smirk.

“You started it. All that Pogue/Kook crap.” You meant it as a joke, but Rafe’s smile fades. He looks ahead at the crashing waves. You hit a nerve.

“What?” you ask softly.

Rafe is consumed by his own emotions. He’s a victim to how demanding and overwhelming they can be. He’s been like that for most of his life.

Being with you has cleared some of the fog in his head. He knows now that he was desperate for some form of connection and that’s why he bought into the idea that being part of a group meant something.

If he had nothing of substance to him, nothing lovable, at least he had wealth in common with a social circle he always felt disjointed from. It was a ridiculous substitute for a sense of belonging.

“I was jealous,” he finally admits.

“Jealous?” you echo.

His jaw tenses. He can’t look at you.

“You’ve seen it yourself,” Rafe mutters. “When shit hit the fan, nobody backed me up. Nobody checks up on me. Nobody gives a damn. I don’t have any real friends. And you called your friends family. I don’t have that. I don’t have anybody. It’s why I sell coke. It’s pathetic, but at least I have something worth…”

He doesn’t finish his sentence. The man who you thought had everything never did. He was in pain, lonely, selling drugs because at least it gave people something to like about him.

“Rafe,” you say quietly. He meets your gaze. You wish you could unsee the hurt in his eyes. “You have me. I care about you so much.”

You look at him in all the ways he’d always secretly hoped you would. The years of longing for you – the girl who always has a retort, who always keeps him on his toes, who always looks so frustratingly beautiful – all those daydreams don’t come close to how it actually feels to have you like this.

He wonders if you have any idea of all the ways you can break him.

“Yeah?” is all he can mumble, his throat tight.

You nod, finding his hand and pulling it to your chest. He’s not sure if you meant to press him up against where he can feel your pulse, but he feels the rhythmic thudding coming from beneath your skin, and God, is it insane that he feels like he lives for your heartbeat?

He thought he was fine living an empty life. But he’s gotten a taste of being wrapped up in you and he doesn’t want to lose it. Ever.

“You keep me safe,” you say softly. “Let me do the same for you in my own way, alright?”

He nods, blinking away tears. Your heart breaks and you lean forward, losing yourself in his kiss. His lips are soft and gentle, pushing against yours with a soft fragility.

“Are you okay?” you whisper against his cheek. He hasn’t been okay in so long. But this is the closest to it he’s ever gotten. He doesn’t want to hide you. He wants everyone to see you chose him.

“Do you want to go to that bonfire tonight?” he asks.

There’s a party at the beach you spoke at a couple of weeks ago, back when Rafe stopped you after you bought a joint from Porter.

“Together?” you ask. He nods, uncertainty pinching his face. You can tell he’s expecting you to say no. As if you’re ashamed of him.

You’re almost sure your friends won’t be there. They asked you to hang out at Pope’s tonight and you declined and said you’d stay home. They probably won’t be at the bonfire.

Either way, you’re willing to take the risk. Rafe is worth it.

·········

Gossip spreads like weeds. You can tell by how people stare at you when you arrive with Rafe that his name has been in everyone’s mouths, whispering conspiracies about what he did to Porter. You know your name will start to come up in those conversations, too.

“So, it’s true,” one of his buddies says when he sees you cupping Rafe’s bicep as you join the group, the bonfire crackling. “You’re really messing with a Pogue.”

“That’ll be the last time you call her that, got it?” Rafe says sharply. His friend scoffs a laugh, putting his hands up in feigned surrender, his beer bottle sloshing.

Rafe leans to mumble in your ear, “Do you want a drink?”

“Yeah,” you say, eager to take the edge off.

You swallow the bitterness of the drink Rafe picks up for you, staring ahead at the ocean, thinking about how somewhere in the vast expanse, Porter’s body is lying at the bottom.

“Man, it’s weird just… continuing to live life, isn’t it?”

You look up to see a man standing beside you. He’s a friend of the person you killed. You recognize him from the day at the club when Porter called you over. You still get shivers remembering his smile.

“What do you mean?” you mumble.

“Porter. He’s just gone,” he continues. There’s a slur in his words. He’s drunk. “He’s gotta be… you know. There’s no other explanation.”

You tighten your grip on Rafe’s arm, but he doesn’t notice, lost in conversation with one of his buddies.

“Yeah,” you offer. “It’s sad.”

“He told me he liked you,” he says with a raised brow. “He had a huge crush on you.”

You can taste bile on your tongue. You look up at Rafe, whose attention is on your conversation now. His stare is hard, his nostrils flared in anger.

“I didn’t know,” you say simply.

“Really?” he laughs. “He said you were playing hard to get.”

His vile words make your breath hitch.

The flame in Rafe rises so fast that within two seconds, he swings a punch. And suddenly, he’s leaning over, knuckles ramming into the idiot’s face as he lies on the sand, unleashing the rage of what happened to you and the urge to take your pain away.

He could kill him.

Rafe feels hands at the crooks of his shoulders pulling him back. He struggles to get on his feet, his friends’ words overlapping as they try to calm him down. He’s breathless, looking up to meet your eyes, taking in how completely lost and anguished you look.

He roughly pushes his friends off as he stumbles towards you, his shaking hands resting on your shoulders.

“Let’s go,” he says to you, looking at you like you’re the only one here.

“You’re such an asshole!” the guy on the ground shouts.

Rafe ignores him, his hand on the small of your back as he leads you away from the crowd. You’re trembling, thrown back to that night, thrown back to being called a tease, thrown back to being held down.

You reach the parking lot, not nearly far enough from the loud crowd, still hearing the crackling of the fire, when your knees buckle.

Your heart is pounding so hard that you’re afraid it’s going to give out. But Rafe holds you up as you stand between parked cars, looking at you with desperation.

“Baby, it’s okay,” he whispers. “You’re okay.”

You find strength as you pull your arms up around his shoulders. He holds you tightly, firm and still against your shaking body.

You’re slowly finding peace.

Then you hear JJ’s voice mutter, “What the hell?”

You pull back, spotting him a few feet away with Pope and John B getting out of the car, looking at you with an expression you can only describe as appalled. You don’t have words. You open your mouth, but nothing comes out.

Blistering sirens reverberate through you. They get so loud so fast that you don’t realize you’ve lost contact with Rafe until a police car jolts to a stop a few feet away from you.

This has to be a nightmare.

Detective Brading swings open the door, followed by another cop, rushing towards you and Rafe. He’s carrying handcuffs. You might lose consciousness.

“Knew this day was coming, didn’t you?” Brading says before he grips Rafe’s wrist, pushing him up against the nearest car.

Rafe struggles, but Brading slams him against the hood of the car so hard that you hear the thud of his skull against the metal.

“Stop! You can’t hurt him like that!” you cry. The other police officer steps in front of you, pushing you back. You expect him to handcuff you, too. He doesn’t.

You look around you in terrified desperation as if someone can help. The crowd has quickly come closer, watching in awe, as if you and Rafe’s lives aren’t being pulled apart for everyone to see.

You meet Rafe’s frightened gaze as the side of his face presses against the car. Brading flatly recites his rights, handcuffing him, ignoring you as you beg that he tell you why he’s being arrested, that he stop hurting him.

Rafe doesn’t say a word until you whimper in pain and plead to the officer keeping you back to stop holding so tight. He tries to charge forward, demanding he take his hands off of you, earning him another rough push against the car.

Brading hauls him away and you try to follow, but the other officer keeps you back, gripping you so hard that it reminds you of Porter all over again.

“You want to get arrested, too?” he mutters. Your muscles give in, losing tension. You still don’t understand why Rafe’s being arrested and you’re not.

“No. Sorry. I’ll stop,” you say weakly. “Where’s he being taken?”

The officer doesn’t believe you at first, but eventually, he loosens his grip.

“The county jail,” he says, looking past your shoulder as the car door shuts.

Then, they leave, and you’re in front of the crowd, in front of your friends, frozen and speechless.

·········

Your mouth is dry as you wait in the lobby of the quiet jail. They won’t give you any information. Nothing about what the charge is, how long Rafe will be here, if he’ll be given bail. It’s been an hour.

You hold JJ’s car keys in your shaking hands. You were frantic when you begged him to lend you his car, promising you’d take care of it.

He confusedly agreed and you left immediately, not exchanging any other words, following the police car just in case the officer lied to you about where they were going.

Your phone is dead and your connection to the outside world is dead with it.

Your stomach drops when you spot Brading exit through a door behind the processing desk.

“What’s happening?” you ask. “Where is he? Is he okay?”

He stiffly cuts through the lobby, pushing open the front door, letting it swing behind him. You grunt as the door hits your palms.

“I suggest you go home,” Brading mutters as you trail him into the dark parking lot. “I can charge you for assault against a police officer if you don’t stop harassing me.”

“Please. I just want to know,” you plead. “Nobody will tell me anything.”

You’re sure he’s getting a power trip out of this. You didn’t tell him what he wanted to know. Now, he won’t tell you.

“Please,” you repeat, feeling utterly powerless. The detective stops abruptly, facing you, his face in a scowl.

“I’m ordering you to go home,” he says sharply.

“Brading?” someone calls behind him.

Within a matter of seconds, you hear something you never thought you’d hear again. The single and unmistakable blow of a gunshot.

·········

You’re in disbelief, staring ahead at the stranger sitting in your living room as her gaze travels between you and your parents. The woman introduced herself as an agent, flashing a shiny badge before she came inside.

Last night, you gave the cops a statement about what had happened in the parking lot. A man was out there, agitated and waiting for Brading. He shot him and looked you dead in the eyes before another man shouted for him to get down on the ground.

He drove away, tires screeching, as the officer who’d rushed out of the jail shot at the car. You remember dropping to the cold concrete, being interrogated by a detective, and eventually being ordered to go home and not tell a soul what you’d seen.

You’re still terrified, unable to accept what your life has become and how the domino effect you’ve been thrust into could be so vicious.

“Detective Brading is in critical condition,” the woman says, “but he was able to identify the man who shot him.”

“What about Rafe?” you ask. “Is he okay?”

“I’m sorry. I don’t know who that is.”

You sniffle your tears, shaking your head in disbelief. You still haven’t been given any updates on him.

“I’m here because the man from last night,” she continues, “is part of a family that has dangerous affiliations. Brading has a history of putting away high-profile criminals, and he arrested the shooter’s brother. His brother recently passed away in prison and… he tracked Brading down to make him pay. He’s still at large. According to your statement, he saw you, is that right?”

You nod anxiously, waiting for her to get to her point. By now, you have enough trauma to last you ten lifetimes.

Then, she tells you that for you and your parents’ safety, you’ll need to be put into witness protection and that you’ll be relocated and given new identities immediately.

When you ask what you’re supposed to say to the people you’re leaving behind, she’s eerily calm as she tells you, “Nothing. I’m sorry, but there’s no way you can contact anyone you know. Everyone will be under the impression that you’ve died.”

·········

You consumed Rafe’s thoughts as he sat in the county jail cell. He didn’t focus on how suffocating the room was, or how badly his wrists burned from the handcuffs, or what his future was going to look like.

He thought about you, how completely and deliberately you were in his corner, how all the embarrassment of being arrested in front of all those people was erased when you yelled in his defense.

The only voice in the crowd standing up for him, while everyone else watched, was yours. He has never cared about someone more than himself. You changed that.

That’s why when he receives the news that you passed away in an accident, he snaps.

next >

note sorry for the drama… now i can finally share that this inspired this part of the story 🤭

if you want notifications on when i post my fics, follow @xorafe-library and turn on notifications 💘

[redskull199987]

Plzz write fnaf Michael x femreader! It starts like a fluff and then smut👀

Lucky

Mike Schmidt x fem!reader Request Word Count:2.4k Warnings:Angst to Fluff to Smut, this got way angstier than i thought SOWWWY- but I promise, fluff ensues, Smut ensues, so MDNI/18+, Movie Spoilers Summary:After you finally return from work, a few surprises await you at home…

Masterlist

Your day had been slow. Agonizingly slow. Time seemed to go by extra slow today and by the time you finally left your office, it had felt like you had spent a week there, instead of a day. But as you slowly made your way towards your car, your mood lightened, as you remembered what would await you at home.

Your loving Boyfriend and his even sweeter little sister. 

The little family you had built over the years always managed to put a smile on your face and especially after the whole drama at that Pizza Plex, you were even more grateful for what you had.

You slightly shook your head, trying to avoid thinking of those memories. The things you had seen, while Mike and You tried to save his sister from the dead children. You hoped that they got what they wanted…and that the Monster who created them had gotten what he deserved.

Your mind was about to wander back to the memory of the springlocks violently stabbing into his chest, as a knock on your car window quite literally pulled you out of your thoughts.

A quiet gasp left your lips, as you looked outside to see who had knocked. Much to your relief, it was only your coworker, who wanted to wish you a good night. You quickly uttered your goodbyes, before finally starting the car and making your way back home.

By the time you arrived, the sun had long since disappeared behind the horizon. You quickly parked your car next to Mike´s before moving towards the entrance. 

You didn't bother turning on the lights in the hallway, as you dropped your bag to the floor and kicked off your shoes.

Before you could call out for Mike and Abby, you heard someone running towards you and as you realized what was happening, you quickly duck away, stumbling backwards.

Just in time to avoid being hit by the bat that was swung into your direction.

“Mike!! It's me!! It's just me!!”, You quickly yelled and reached for the lightswitch.

As the hallway was suddenly illuminated by the dim gleam of the ceiling light, you could make out the figure of Mike in front of you. He was breathing heavily. With the bat still in his hand, he was towering over you. He just looked at you for one more second, before finally realizing what was happening. He quickly dropped the bat, a hand flying to his face, covering his mouth in disbelief of what he had just done.

“I´m sorry…”, he mumbled, dropping to his knees,”I'm so sorry. I thought…I thought it was..that it was o-one of t-them..”

Your heart broke at the sight in front of you. You quickly pulled Mike into your arms:”It's okay, Mike. I´m alright. They're gone now. They're gone.”

You gently kissed his temple, as you saw that he tried to suppress his tears. You knew that he was having a hard time dealing with the gruesome events. It had left scars on him. Both physically and mentally.

“I´m sorry..”, he muttered once more, pulling you closer to him. You only kissed his forehead again and mumbled sweet nothings into his ear until he had calmed down again.

You gently cupped your boyfriend´s face and gave him a soft smile. To your delight, he returned the smile and leaned forward to quickly peck your lips.

The sweet moment was interrupted as the voice of Abby grabbed your attention. The young girl came running into the hallway, calling out both of your names. Your smile got even bigger as she quickly came over to you, giving you a short hug, before starting to ramble about what she had drawn today and that she wanted to show you all her artworks. You happily nodded at everything that she said. 

“Alright Abbs.”, Mike suddenly said, interrupting his sister and affectionately patting her head,”You can show her tomorrow. It's time for bed now.”

The little girl pouted for a moment and turned back to you:”But I wanna stay up and play with you.”

You gave her a mischievous smile:”I tell you something. If you promise me to go to bed now, I will play and draw with you tomorrow the entire day. And I'll make your favorite Dinner, hm?”

Abby´s face lit up in anticipation. She quickly nodded and said good Night to you and Mike, before disappearing into her room.

Mike only looked at you with admiration,”How do you alway do that?”, he asked, as the two of you also made your way to your shared bedroom.

“It´s a secret”, You grinned and let yourself fall down on the bed. A satisfied groan left your lips, as you finally felt the stress from work dissolve into nothing but hot air.

You watched how Mike pulled his Hoodie over his head and throwing it to the side. Now only left in his T-Shirt, he flopped down beside you, propping his head up on his arm and looking down at you. He didn't say anything for a few seconds, just looking you up and down, before he slowly lifted his hand and gently grasped your cheek. You gasped quietly, as he suddenly leaned forward and connected your lips in a sweet and tender kiss. It only lasted for a few seconds before he pulled back again. You looked up at him and saw that his eyes were closed, as he leaned his forehead against yours.

Finally, Mike opened his mouth to say something, but after a few seconds of silence, he closed it again and he opened his eyes. You looked at his dark orbs and almost lost yourself in all the emotions, he was trying to convey only with his gaze.

“It's okay.”, you affirmed, “I know. You don't have to say anything, Mike.”

The boy only smiled at you and it was a genuine smile. One, that you rarely got to see.

Without another word, Mike suddenly sat up, pulling you with him and into his lap. You gasped loudly at the sudden change of position, which gave Mike the chance to put his mouth back onto yours.

This kiss was different. It was passionate, hungry even. He groaned lowly as he pulled your body tighter against his. Your hands pressing up against his chest, while he explored your Body with his.

“Mike..”, you warned him, as he started to kiss your jaw, your skin burning like fire everytime his lips touched you.

“Your sister…”, You mumbled again, but you and him both knew that it was already too late, that you were already at his mercy, the gaze of yours just as hungry as his.

“We'll be quiet.”, he finally answered, as he pushed you off his lap and onto the mattress. You watched how he now also pulled his Shirt over his head, before leaning down to kiss you again. You moaned against his lips, as you felt his cold hands wander under your sweater. He squeezed your hips tenderly, while making it his mission to let you drown in his kisses. As he finally parted to help you out of your clothes, you immediately missed the feeling of his lips pressing against yours.

Quickly you pulled your sweater over your head, discarding it on the floor. Mike only admired you for a few seconds, his gaze wandering all over your Body and you felt heat rising to your cheeks.

“Don't look at me like that.”, you mumbled and gently put your hand over his eyes.

Mike only chuckled at your antics,”Like what?”, he asked, acting all innocent and letting your hand remain on top of his eyes.

After a few seconds of Silence, you slowly pulled your hand back and his eyes went back to look at you.

“Like that.”, You croaked, looking away from him.

“But why?”, Mike teased, pulling you closer to his body by your hips,”I love what I am seeing.”

Upon hearing his words, you looked back up at him. his eyes held no ounce of doubt. He was a hundred percent sure.

“I love you too, Mike”, You smiled and quickly pecked his lips. Mike only returned the smile,”May I?”, he asked, mentioning towards your bra.

You quickly nodded and mere seconds later, your bra joined the heap of clothing that was already on the floor.

Mike´s lips quickly latched onto your breast, as his hand gave the same attention to the other. With a moan, your head lolled back in pleasure.

“You like that, hm?”, Mike mumbled, as he pushed you back down on the bed. You weren't able to form a coherent sentence anymore, so you just nodded.

“Please, let me have you.”, he urged, his hands wandering to the hem of your pants,”Let me make you feel good.”

“Mike please..”, You finally pressed out,”I need you..Need you inside of me.”

That was all the confirmation he needed, before finally pulling your pants down, alongside your panties.

He slowly pushed your thighs apart and started to kiss up the inside of your calves, but never quite touching you where you desperately needed him.

“Mike please.”, You whined again, while trying to keep your voice down. But your eyes widened in surprise and you tried to suppress the loud moan that made it´s way up your throat, as Mike suddenly pushed two fingers inside you without a warning. His tongue joined mere seconds after, as he ate you out like a man starved.

Your hand wandered to Mike´s hair and you gently pulled and pushed at his head as he was working you closer to your release. You could already feel that coil form inside you and after only a few more seconds, it snapped and with a suppressed moan, you came against his mouth.

As your heavy breathing started to slow down again, Mike finally looked back up at you, the desire in his eyes bigger than ever. He quickly latched his lips on yours again and you could taste yourself on him as he kissed you hungrily.

Your hands now wandered towards his sweats and as you grabbed his already hard member through his pants. He groaned lowly, closing his eyes in pleasure.

Quickly, you pulled down his pants, leaving him now also bare in front of you. Without a second thought, you grabbed his length and gave him a few experimental pumps. That seemed to do the trick on him and you watched how Mike´s brows furrowed, as he melted against your touch.

“Wanna be inside you..”,he mumbled against the skin of your shoulder. With anticipation, you lined him up with your entrance and looked back up at him. Mike was looking at you questioningly. And as soon as you gave him a small nod, he finally pushed inside of you.

You grabbed onto his biceps, as the pain slowly dissolved into pleasure. Mike slowly started moving in and out of you, grabbing your hips tightly. You suppressed a moan by sinking your teeth into his shoulder. Not to pierce the skin, but hard enough to leave a mark.

You could hear Mike mumbling incoherent words into your ear, as he picked up his pace, desperately trying to push you over the edge again.

“Mike..”, You moaned, feeling yourself coming closer and closer to the sweet sweet relief and as you looked back into his eyes and saw the adoration that he had for you, you were done for it. You clenched around him and came all over his cock. Mike followed soon after, continuing to fuck you through your orgasm.His thrusts got slower and sloppier and he finally pulled out of you, his breath still heavy against your skin. He quickly kissed your temple, before getting up. After a minute, he returned with a damp cloth and a water bottle. With a smile still on his face, he gently cleaned you both up, before slipping back into bed with you.

You chuckled, as he nuzzled his head into your neck, his stubble tickling your skin. You wrapped your arms around him and pulled his body closer to yours. His warmth engulfing you fully.

“Good Night, Mike.”, you smiled and gently kissed his cheek.

“Night.”, he replied with a yawn.

It didn't go unnoticed by you, that he didn't use his pills to fall asleep today. Or the recording of nature sounds. He didn't even look up at the Poster of Nebraska, that was now hanging over his bed again.

Looking at your beloved one last time, you smiled once more before finally closing your eyes and letting sweet sleep engulf you.

Bonus:

“Mike!?”

“Miiiike!?”

“Miiiiiike!?!?”

Your eyes snapped open and within a second, you were sitting up on the bed. Your gaze wandered to the door, where loud knocks and shouts were being heard. After a few seconds of trying to understand in which century you had woken up in, you realized where you were and the events of last night returned to you.

“Mike?”, You mumbled quietly and tapped your boyfriend's shoulder, who was laying next to you,”Mike??”

With a groan, he finally looked up at you and before you had the chance to say something, he tumbled off the bed due to leaving too much over the edge.

You couldn't suppress the chuckle that left your lips as you leaned down to check on Mike.

“Morning.”, You smiled, as you realized that he was fine. You quickly leaned down to peck his lips, which immediately seemed to wake him up more.

“Miiiiike!?!”

Your sweet moment was interrupted, as you heard Abby banging against the door again.

Mike let out an annoyed groan before getting up and putting his pants back on.

“In a minute, Abbs!”, he yelled back and the banging on the door finally stopped.

“We have a lot to do today.”, you said as you finally got up too and started to get dressed.

Mike only looked at you in confusion:”What do you mean?”

“Remember how I made Abby go to sleep yesterday?”, you chuckled and softly kissed his cheek before walking to the door. Pushing the handle down, you were immediately greeted by the sight of Abby who grabbed your hand and pulled you towards her room to show you her drawings.

Mike could only look after you with a tender smile on his face. How had he gotten so lucky?

[getosbigballsack]

Random thought! - Husband Gojo x Wife Reader-chan #inside the diary

Hear me out! Gojo read your thoughts in your diary and came to realize that he was a terrible husband to you.

He knew he was a good lay, hence the reason he managed to knock you up three times. But as of lately, he came to realize that you weren't interested in having sex with him.

At first, he thought it was just because you were too tired, having to take care of the kids while he works, all day by yourself (in which he understands, and he praises you for being such a wonderful mother).

But that wasn't the case. He just happened to come home early from work while you were out shopping with the kids, and he got a hold of your diary.

Interestingly, he took it upon himself to skim through the pages of your book, just to see what's inside your little head. Nothing out of the ordinary, just little notes and reminders to yourself about the task you had to complete and a few words of encouragement here and there.

He usually doesn't read through your thoughts, always thinking that if you had an issue you'd come and talk to him, so he was about to put your diary back where he found it because he didn't want to pry further into your thoughts, but that's until one page in particular caught his eye.

I find it difficult to enjoy sex with my husband nowadays and I don't know why?

Words in blue handwriting are written beautifully on the paper. He kept on reading, and as he continued to move further down the line, he felt his heart break.

It’s just me, but I don't think I'm attractive enough to have sex with my husband.

I wanted to suggest the last time we had sex [that was a month ago], but I didn't wanna ruin the moment for him because he looked like he was having fun.

Satoru came home today and wanted to have sex. I told him no. He never forced himself on me. He only kissed me goodnight and left to go sleep in the guest room. I know he was upset but did he really have to leave?

It's been 2 months, and Satoru hasn't tried touching me since that night. Am I not worthy of loving anymore? He doesn't even buy me flowers anymore or take me out on dates.

He doesn't compliment me anymore, doesn't tell me that I'm beautiful. He doesn’t even call me baby girl, doll or even honey.

No more I love you, only kisses to the forehead and peck on the lips before he leaves for work in the morning.

He comes home late, I'm always alone with the kids, no more family dinners, no more kitchen, bedroom, and bathroom conversations. No more late-night kisses, no more holding me tightly in his arms while he sleeps.

Does he not want me anymore?

Sometimes I wanna visit his office with the children but I’m afraid that he’ll find my presence a bit annoying. I feel lonely without him here with me.

I should've said yes that night and spread my legs for him,

That's my duty as his wife.

To have fulfilled all my husband's needs without complaint.

But it hurts to have sex, I'm just not in the mood. I'm too tired, I just need my husband to hold me, but he's not there.

I can't complain, he's the reason I don't have to work.

But is it so bad to ask my husband to love me without having the need to touch me?

The last entry to your diary reads.

I'm going to do it today, bare the pain and have sex with my husband, just so that I can feel his love once again. 

Now he knows the real reason you won’t have intercourse with him, or let's say the reason you don’t enjoy having sex with him. You feel as though he doesn’t love you anymore, and he needs to fix that. So, until he can figure out a way to prove to you just how much he loves you, he’ll have to deprive himself of your warm loving touch. 

Later in the day when you came home with the kids, you saw your husband cooking up a storm in the kitchen. “Hey baby girl, want something to eat? It’s been a while hasn’t it.” too stunned to even say a word, you just watched as your kids, ages 3, 4 and 6 ran over to their dad and engulfed him in a big hug. He giggled and stopped whatever he was doing to bend to his children’s height and kissed every single of them on their cheeks. “Hey boys. Did you all take your mom out shopping today?” Oh, that’s right you’re a boy mom. You managed to pop three boys, all of them came out looking just like their dad, especially your eldest son. 

The boys chatted away with their dad until he excused himself and walked over to you and wrapped his arms tightly around your body. You're in a state of shock, unable to move for a moment until he whispers, “can I get a hug back?” and you did give him a hug. 

“Welcome home, have a seat, dinner’s almost ready. I cooked vegetable curry today, I know it’s your favourite,” and indeed it is your favourite. For the rest of the day, he spent time in the kitchen cooking while chatting with his kids, not without taking small glances at you. You all ate dinner together, got the kids ready for bed when night falls, before preparing for bed yourselves. 

You remembered that you wrote in your diary that you were about to try and have sex with your husband, all for the sake of feeling his love again, but that didn’t happen. Instead, you found your husband already waiting for you on the bed, fully dressed in pjs, a cup of your favourite tea in his hand and a warm loving smile on his face. 

He immediately started up a conversation with you, asking you about your day and your trip to the shopping centre. You had no clue what was going on inside your husband’s head, but it’s been a while since he last sat down and had small conversations like these, and you weren’t about to miss this opportunity. 

So with a smile on your face, you told everything that happened today and even the fact that you had to buy a bag of grapes you had no intentions of buying, but you did so because your 3 year old son stole and ate a few while you picked up a bag of oranges. The conversation went all a while until he sighed. 

“Y/N,” he whispered in a serious tone. “We need to talk. I was going to wait until tomorrow, but I can’t bear the fact that my wife would be going to bed with doubts about our relationship and my love for you.”

You swallow thickly and rest your now empty cup against the nightstand before turning to face your husband fully. He reached his hand out for you, and you gently placed your left hand in his. He wrapped his large hand around your finger and gently pulled you until you were straddling his lips. You swallowed that thick lump yet again, before whispering, “So what is it that we need to talk about.”

“Why do you always refuse to communicate your feelings with me?” he asked as he let go of your hand and wrapped both hands around your waist and rested his head up against your chest. “I know I haven’t been a good husband to you these past few months, but I don’t want you to think that I don’t love you or that you’re not worthy of loving.”

“I don’t understand what you mean.”

He sighed heavily before taking a deep breath. “I found your diary in the living room when I got home, and I read through your notes.” Your body tensed up in his lap, your mind immediately racing towards negative thoughts. Is he angry? Why did you have to carelessly leave your diary out in the open for him to see. 

“Oh!”

“I’m sorry for reading through your diary, but I’m happy that I did because my wife won’t communicate with me,” he said with a frustrated sigh. 

You frowned, “Would you have listened even if I tried?”

“I would’ve dropped everything and listened to whatever it is that you have to say. I know it's my duty to ensure that my wife is living her best happy life, and that it’s also my responsibility to take care of your wellbeing, but I can’t always know what's going on with you if you don’t communicate with me.” 

Communication on your end has always been a big issue in your relationship with your husband. It bothered him and he’d hope that after a while you would’ve grown out of your bad habit, but he guess he’s wrong, because here you are now after 8 years of being a relationship total and that includes the four years of marriage, and 3 kids later, you still struggling to figure out a way to communicate your feelings with him. 

“I broke my heart when I read that you thought that as my wife, your duty is to only provide for me sexually or even the fact that you don’t think that you’re attractive enough to have sex with me. What hurts me the most is that you have so many doubts about my love for you. Y/N you know that I love you right?”

“I do,” your voice trembled slightly as you answered. 

“Then why are you doubting my feelings for you? I apologise for leaving you to sleep in the guest room that night, it was wrong of me to be upset all because you told me no.” There was a moment of silence, you figured he was waiting for a response in which you never gave.

“I know I don’t say this as much as I need to, but I love you. I LOVE YOU so very much. I love you as my best friend, my wife and I love you even more as the mother of my children.” Tears started to obstruct your vision as you stared off at your wedding portrait that was above your bed and listened as your husband poured his hurt out to you. 

“I need you to stop thinking that you are not worthy of loving because you are more than worthy. You’re an amazing woman, an amazing wife, and an amazing mother to our children. Just the fact that you're a mother makes you worthy of loving.” 

“Satoru… I- I,” you stuttered, trying to formulate the words inside your mouth, but even if you did, what are you going to say to your husband? You had not one clue. 

“I’m not a mind reader Y/N, so you need to start communicating your feelings with me, because if you don’t tell me, I’m not going to always know,” he said to you as he snuggled his head against your chest. 

“I- I’ll do better.” 

“I’m happy to hear that, and I promise to show you just how much I love you and do whatever it is to ensure that my wife is happy, because your happiness means the most to me. I’ll get you those flowers you want, and I’ll try my best to buy you loads of flowers in the future. And about visiting my office.”

“Yes?” you said. 

“I would love for you to pop up at my office one day with the kids and surprise me. My workers have been dying to meet my beautiful wife and children. And about the late-night work meetings. I can’t promise you that there won’t be any more late-night meetings, but I'll do my best to get home as early as I can to be with you and the kids. I don’t want you to feel as though I’ve abandoned you with the kids. I’ll take a few days off from work too and take the ends out. You’re right we barely have family time.”

“Thank you,” you said smiling as you allowed those tears to run down your cheeks. 

“I’ll do better as your husband. It wasn't my intention to not cuddle and hold you tightly while we sleep. Baby you know you can always smack me in the head or do that cute silly little thing you do and crawl underneath my arms if you want to cuddle with me,” he said to you, and you let out a small giggle. 

He chuckled too as he removed one hand from around your waist to cradle your cheek. “Lastly, this is about our sex life. If I make you feel physical pain, or uncomfortable at any time during intercourse you need to let me know because the last thing I want to do is hurt you. In your diary you said that you wanted to suggest the last time we had sex. I want you to tell me what it is.”

Your face heated up immediately, why would he have to bring that up now. Couldn’t he have waited until a better time. But nonetheless despite the obvious look of embarrassment on your face you whispered, “I was wondering if… if…”

“Yes?” 

“I was wondering if we could try something outside the usual vanilla sex,” you said to him, and he cocked his eyebrow towards you. “It’s not that I don’t enjoy vanilla sex, I love having vanilla sex with you and you know how to be rough when you need to be. But I thought it would be nice if we could do something different.” 

“What do you suggest?” he asked with a sunning grin on his face. 

“Maybe we could try using some sex toys.” 

“Sex toys heh?” he said, and you quickly covered up your face with your hands. “I’m open, I don’t mind getting a few sex toys here and there for us to use. I can order us a few online on another day.”

“Ok…”

“Good girl. I love you.” he whispered as he kissed your lips. "I promise I'll be a better husband for you."

“I love you too, Satoru.”

[unabashegirl]

Camping — oneshot

Harry and Y/N were friends in college until that day. Now they are being forced to face one another...

Author's note: this one shot was posted on Patreon a long time ago. Happy that you all have a chance to read it!

check out my patreon and get access to this week new one shot (y/n's bff dad) and much more :)

warning: smut

word count: 4.8K

masterlist

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"I can’t believe you’re making me do this," she said as April tossed her backpack into the back of her car. "This feels like kidnapping."

"Stop being so dramatic and get in the car," April replied, a big smile on her face. You and April had been best friends since college, bonding over the ridiculous workload assigned to your class each week. You were opposites: you loved city life, running water, and comfort, while April thrived on nature, adventure, and challenges. She adored plants and meticulously cared for the ones she had at home. In contrast, April had once gifted you a cactus, which you managed to kill.

"I got us muffins and coffee from that place you love," April said.

"Is this your way of bribing me into going?" you asked, reaching for the bag of treats. "I know this is Mark’s idea." April just shrugged as she started driving.

"Aren’t you tired of the city? This will be good for you! All you do is work, sleep, watch The Office, work out, and repeat," April said, giggling as you stopped chewing.

"Leave The Office out of this," you warned. It had been your favorite show since high school, your comfort show, always playing in your apartment. You even tried to get others hooked on it. "I’ve seen you laugh."

"Listen, there’s something I need to tell you," April said, turning down the music.

"Did Mark propose?" you asked immediately, knowing they were endgame. The three of you had met in college and stayed close ever since.

"No," April replied.

"You’re pregnant then?!"

"Shut up!" April interrupted. "Harry is coming. Mark invited him, and I had no say in it," she blurted out, like ripping off a band-aid.

"Oh! Let me out. I am not going," you said, instantly annoyed at the mention of his name. "I thought Mark and he weren’t friends anymore."

"He just came back from America. He called Mark a few weeks ago, and they had drinks and dinner together. Apparently, he’s changed and is more mature." You rolled your eyes as you finished eating your muffin. Your appetite was gone, and you felt suddenly nervous. "You have to let go of that grudge against him!"

"It’s not a grudge, April. The man ghosted me after we had sex. That was all he was after. Him leaving was the best thing that could have happened to all of us," you said. You had fallen for his charm, and after much convincing, you finally gave in during your senior year.

"You’ve moved on, and so has he. I’m just asking you to be polite, babe," April insisted. "I just want us to have a good time."

You sighed, leaning back in your seat as the cityscape blurred past. "Fine. But if he starts anything, I'm not holding back."

April laughed, patting your leg. "That's the spirit. Just remember, we're here to relax and have fun."

The rest of the drive was filled with casual chatter and music, the tension slowly easing. As you neared your destination, a clearing in the woods where you would set up camp, you couldn't help but appreciate the serene beauty of the place. The stress of city life began to melt away, replaced by a reluctant sense of peace.

April parked the car and you both got out, stretching your legs and taking in the fresh air. "It’s gorgeous out here," you admitted begrudgingly.

"See? Told you it would be worth it," April said, grinning.

Mark emerged from behind the car, waving. "Hey, you two! Glad you made it. I'm surprised you managed to convince Y/N,” he said, wrapping his arms around April.

“It took a lot,” April giggled as Mark kissed her cheek. “Muffins and coffee.”

“I can still go back,” you said, throwing your backpack over your shoulder. “How long is this hike going to take?” you asked, walking up to Mark and giving him a friendly side hug.

“About thirty minutes. Is that fine or are you going to melt?” he teased, grinning.

April slapped his chest playfully before opening the trunk to get the rest of the stuff out. “Where’s your friend, anyway? Or is he still the unpunctual asshole he always was?”

“M’ right here” Harry said as he emerged from the trail that they were going to take to the campsite. You abstained from saying anything surprised at his appearance. He had kept his good looks. He had even gotten more attractive with more age. However, you would never admit it aloud.

April turned to look at you with her eyes widen opened. You gave her the same look, letting her know that you agreed. Harry wore tiny black shorts that left little to imagination. His legs seemed to never end and his thighs were inked. His grey shirt was tight enough sculpt his chest and his pectorals. His curls were tucked under his basketball cap and his eyes hidden away by some aviator sunglasses.

“You were saying, Y/N? I didn’t catch the last part” Harry asked you, with a small smirk. “Are you still a yapping bitch?”

“Just that we should start the hike” You responded, looking straight at him. You weren’t the same quiet and shy girl you were in college. You had matured and life experiences had shaped you. You were more outgoing and vocal about your opinions.

“I thought so” you heard him say as you turned your back towards him.

As you all gathered the camping gear, the anticipation of the weekend settled in. The woods were peaceful, with the sun filtering through the trees, casting dappled shadows on the ground. Birds chirped in the distance, and the fresh scent of pine filled the air.

Mark led the way, carrying the heavier equipment with Harry, while April and you followed. Despite your reservations, the beauty of the surroundings began to work its magic, and you found yourself relaxing a bit.

After a short walk, you reached the designated camping spot, a small clearing by a bubbling brook. It was picturesque, almost like a scene from a nature magazine. You couldn’t help but admit, if only to yourself, that it was a nice change from the city’s hustle and bustle.

"That was more than thirty minutes," you complained, dropping to the ground to rest your legs. "You're lucky the view was pretty." Mark and April laughed, while Harry remained silent, just watching you.

"Let's set up camp," Mark said, and he and April began unloading the gear. You took the opportunity to pull out the speaker and connect your phone.

As you selected a playlist, music filled the air, blending with the natural sounds of the forest. You watched as Mark and April worked together seamlessly, their laughter and chatter a comforting background noise. Harry joined in, helping with the heavier items, his actions precise and deliberate. You couldn’t help but feel a simmering resentment toward him, remembering the night that had led up to the hate that you had grown towards him.

You glanced around, taking in the beauty of the campsite. Tall trees encircled the clearing, their leaves rustling in the soft breeze. The nearby brook added a soothing melody to the scene, and the late afternoon sun cast a warm, golden glow over everything.

Harry approached, handing you a bottle of water. "You looked like you could use this," he said, his tone neutral.

"Thanks," you replied curtly, accepting the bottle but avoiding eye contact. His gesture did little to ease the tension between you.

With the tents set up and the campsite organized, the four of you gathered around the fire pit. Mark expertly built a fire, and soon the flames were crackling as the sun descended behind the trees, providing warmth and a focal point for the group.

"How was America?" Mark asked Harry as he handed him a beer. "Did you enjoy living there?"

"It was nice for a while," Harry replied, taking a sip. "But it got lonely after a bit. I'm actually happy to be back."

"Marketing, right?" April asked, earning a quick nod from Harry.

You listened quietly, not fully trusting his cheerful demeanor. It was hard to forget the history between you.

"Well, we're glad to have you back," Mark said, clinking his beer bottle against Harry’s. "It’s like old times again."

April smiled, trying to lighten the mood. "Yeah, just with more responsibilities and less reckless behavior."

"Speak for yourself," Mark joked, earning a playful nudge from April.

Harry chuckled, but his eyes kept drifting toward you. You avoided his gaze, focusing on the fire instead.

Mark instantly got up from his spot, his eyes twinkled mischievously as he took off his jacket and shirt.

April raised an eyebrow, “What are you doing?!”

“I’m going for a swim” he said, grinning widely as he took of his pants along with his boxers.

You burst out laughing, shaking your head as you covered your eyes not wanting to look at your best friend’s boyfriend privates.

“A swim? It’s pretty late, Mark.” April said as Mark used his hands to cover himself.

“Why not?” Mark said, standing up and stretching. “We’re out here in the middle of nowhere, no one around for miles. It’ll be fun.” He wanted to cut the tension. He wanted for everyone to have fun and it was a way to get everyone out of the funk especially the both of you. “Oh, it’s fucking cold” He said as he ran towards the lake.

April rolled her eyes but smiled. “You’re crazy, you know that?” she yelled after him as she got up from her spot.

“That’s why you love me,” Mark quipped, winking at her.

You bit your lip, considering it. The idea was wild and spontaneous, something you wouldn’t normally do. But maybe that’s what made it appealing.

“Alright,” you said, surprising yourself. “I’m in. But if anyone mentions this to anyone back home, I’m denying everything.” as you started stripping. You couldn’t see Harry, but you could feel Harry’s stare on you.

April laughed. “This should be interesting. Okay, I’m in too.”

Mark clapped his hands together. “Harry?” He yelled as he splashed water. The water was surprisingly warmer than expected.

As soon as your pants came off, you sprinted towards the water, not wanting to give anyone a chance to inspect your body. April followed right behind you, and before you knew it, both of you were submerged in the cool, refreshing water.

The initial shock of the cold water took your breath away, but it quickly turned invigorating. You surfaced, laughing and pushing your wet hair out of your face. April emerged beside you, her laughter echoing across the lake.

"This is crazy!" she shouted, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

Harry was right behind, diving into the water with loud splashes. The four of you swam around, the thrill of the spontaneous adventure making everyone giddy.

"Not your worst idea, Mark," you admitted, floating on your back and gazing up at the starry sky. "This is lovely." Mark grinned, splashing water at you.

“Things haven’t changed at much. We still let you convince us into doing shit” said, his tone lighter than it had been all evening.

For a while, you all floated and swam, the cool water refreshing and the company surprisingly pleasant. The tension and animosity seemed to wash away with the gentle waves.

The atmosphere grew quieter as April nestled closer to Mark, the two of them wrapped up in each other's presence, sharing quiet moments and exchanging soft words. The only sounds breaking the silence were the faint music playing in the background and the gentle crackling of the fire.

You glanced over at April and Mark, their closeness evident in the way they leaned into each other, their whispered conversations carrying an intimacy that made you smile despite yourself. It was a rare sight, seeing them so openly affectionate, and you couldn't help but feel a pang of envy mixed with genuine happiness for them.

Harry saw opposite you, lost in his thoughts as he stared at the sky. The events of the evening seemed to have softened his demeanor, his usual guarded expression replaced by a contemplative look. For once, the animosity between you felt less palpable, overshadowed by the camaraderie of the evening.

The music played softly in the background, a soothing backdrop to the quiet moments shared among friends. The night air was cool against your skin, but the warmth of the water and the company kept you comfortable.

"It's good to see you again, pup," Harry spoke up suddenly, his voice breaking the peaceful silence. The old nickname tugged at your emotions. He had called you that since college, back when you both shared dreams and aspirations.

You looked at him, caught off guard by his unexpected warmth. "Yeah," you replied softly.

"I heard you landed your dream job," he continued, glancing at you with a hint of a smile. You nodded, trying to conceal your own smile. "A reporter for BBC News. I remember how you used to talk about it non-stop. Proud of you."

“Thanks. How is your mom and Gemma?" you asked, recalling that final year of uni when Harry had invited you to his family home. It had been Easter weekend, a time when you got to meet the two women who made Harry’s world turn.

Harry's face softened at the mention of his family. "They're doing well," he replied, a hint of fondness in his voice. "Mom's as busy as ever, and Gemma is a mum now”

"Wait, what?!" You were taken aback, genuinely surprised by the news. It was unexpected, and you hadn't seen it coming.

Harry chuckled softly at your surprised reaction, his eyes reflecting a mix of amusement and pride. "Yeah, she had a baby girl a few months ago," he explained, his voice tinged with happiness. "It's been quite the adjustment, but she's doing great."

You couldn't help but smile at the thought of Gemma as a mother. "That's amazing," you replied genuinely. "Congratulations to her."

As you processed this new information, you felt a twinge of nostalgia for the times you had spent with Harry and his family. It seemed like another lifetime ago, yet the memories were still vivid in your mind. Despite the distance that had grown between you, moments like these reminded you of the bonds that once connected you.

"Listen, Y/N..." Harry began, but he was swiftly cut off by Mark and April.

"We're heading out. We are starving!" Mark called out, trailing after April as they exited.

Harry paused, his words hanging in the air as Mark and April hurriedly headed towards the campsite. You exchanged a glance with Harry, both of you momentarily sidelined by the interruption.

“I’ll see you out there” You said, trying to sound casual despite the awkwardness of the moment. Deep down, you wondered what Harry had wanted to say—whether it was something about the past or the tentative future you both seemed to be tiptoeing around. However, you didn’t want to stay behind. You weren’t skeptical about giving him a chance to explain himself.

Carefully, you swam back to shore and climbed out of the water. Attempting to regain your composure and stride confidently back to camp, you couldn't help but feel you'd failed miserably, especially with the chilly air gnawing at you.

Everyone changed into comfortable clothes while Mark prepared hot dogs for dinner.

"Did you bring your sleeping bag?" April asked, emerging from her tent.

"Yeah, I think so. It was in the hall by the door," you replied, brushing your hair. As you watched April search for it, a feeling of panic began to creep in. You mentally retraced your steps, recalling the things you had taken out of the trunk.

"No way," you muttered under your breath, frantically rummaging through your belongings. "I thought we grabbed everything!"

"What’s wrong? What are you looking for?" Harry asked, wanting to help.

"I think I left my sleeping bag at home," you sighed, realizing it was going to be a tough night. You had brought your tent, but sleeping on the bare ground wasn’t part of the plan.

Harry frowned, considering the situation. "we'll figure something out," he said, his voice reassuring.

Mark, overhearing the conversation, turned from the campfire where he was tending to the hot dogs. "I brought an extra blanket. It's not a sleeping bag, but it should help.”

"Thanks, Mark," you said, grateful for the gesture. Still, the thought of an uncomfortable night's sleep loomed over you.

April emerged triumphantly with a blanket. "Here, hopefully this makes it more comfortable," she said.

You took the blanket from her, managing a small smile. This trip was definitely not going as you had expected—it seemed like one thing after another.

"Hot dogs are ready!" Mark announced cheerfully as he handed everyone their plate and they gathered around the fire.

“Remember the last time we went camping?” April asked as she swallowed a bite of her hot dog.

“Wasn’t that the time that Mark though there was a bear attacking us?” Harry smirked, taking a bite of his hot dog. “What animal was it?”

“It was a racoon” You joined in, the memory making you chuckle.

“In my defense it was SO loud! It made a lot of noise” Mark laughed, shaking his head. “It was bloody big”.

"Was that before or after you tried to scare it away by singing 'Eye of the Tiger' at the top of your lungs?” April busted out laughing.

“He was so off-key. I am surprised the racoon put up a fight”

“I was just trying to protect us!” Mark threw up his hands in mock indignation.

Everyone busted into laughter again, the tension had melted away in the shared amusement. For a moment, it felt like old times, with jokes and stories like in college.

Later, as you settled into your tent with the borrowed blanket, you couldn’t help but think about all the conversations that you had with your friends. Harry's earlier attempt to talk still lingered in your mind, and you knew that the conversation was far from over.

Just as you were about to drift off, you heard a soft knock on the tent flap. "Hey, you still awake?" It was Harry’s voice.

You sat up, your heart beating a little faster. "Yeah, what’s going on?"

Harry unzipped the tent entrance and peeked in, holding a sleeping bag. "I thought you might need this."

"You brought an extra one?" you asked, suspicion creeping into your voice.

"Yeah," he replied, but his eyes betrayed him. You knew Harry too well to be fooled.

"You're lying," you said, stopping him just as he turned to leave. "You can’t fool me. I know you, Harry Styles. I know this is your sleeping bag."

He paused, a sheepish smile tugging at his lips. "So, what if it is?"

"That I’m not taking your sleeping bag from you," you insisted, handing it back to him. "Thank you, though."

He hesitated, the flickering firelight casting shadows across his face. "Let's share it then," he suggested softly.

You blinked, taken aback by his offer. You were nervous. The though of you sharing such a tight space and being in such proximity made your heart beat faster and the palms of your hands sweaty.

“Are you sure?” You asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Yeah,” he said firmly, stepping into the tent. “It’s cold, and I don’t want you to be uncomfortable”.

With a nod, you scooted over to make room. Harry stretched out the sleeping back and unzipped it for both of you. As you both settled into the sleeping bag, the proximity was comforting, but unsettling at the same time. The warmth of his body next to yours was a stark contrast to the chilly night air. You both shared a pillow and the blanket that April had giving you.

His scent enveloped you — a mix of pine, musk and a hint of the campfire smoke. His warmth radiated through the thin layers of the fabric, soothing the chill of the night air. The gently rise and fall of his chest against your back created a rhythmic presence. His arm draped lightly over your side and the sensation of his body pressed against yours brought an unexpected sense of nostalgia.

“Are you confortable?” He whispered as if sharing. secret, as if what you were doing was somehow forbidden.

You nodded slight, feeling the wright of his questions. “I am” you whispered back, the darkness amplifying the intimacy of the moment.

The silence that followed was filled with the soft sounds of the forest and the distant crackle of the campfire outside.

“Thank you” you murmured, your voice barely audible.

“No problem” he replied softly, his words brushing against the back of your neck, sending a shiver down your spine.

You closed your eyes, allowing yourself to sink into the moment. There was still something in the air. Something unspoken.

“Remember that night?” Harry whispered after a while, his voice a gently murmur in the quiet night. Referring to the night of passion that they had shared back in uni. The night that had stayed with you ever since.

“Every second of it” you replied, your voice tinged with a mixture of longing and hurt. Memories flooding back, vivid and bittersweet. You could still recall the feel of his lips, the way his touch had ignited a fire within you. “Why did you never call or text back?”

Harry sighed softly, his warm breath against your neck. “I was a coward,” he admitted, his voice thick with regret. “I was scared of what I felt for you, of how much you meant to me. I didn’t know how to handle it, so I ran”

His words hung in the air, heavy with unspoken emotions. You turn slightly to look at him, your eyes searching his for the truth. In the dim light of the tent, you could see raw vulnerability that he rarely showed.

“I thought I wasn’t good enough for you” You admitted, “I resented you for it” Tears welled up in your eyes, a mixture of relief and sorrow.

“I am wrong. I was so wrong. I missed you” he confessed. Harry reached out, gently brushing a tear from your cheek.

The air between you grew thick with unspoken words and lingering emotions. His eyes locked onto yours, his gaze intense and unwavering. You could feel yourself drawing closer, every inch of space between you crackling with tension. The warmth of his body, the gently rise and fall of his chest and the soft brush of his breath against your skin all conspired to lure you to him.

He hesitated, his eyes flicking down to your lips, and you felt like your breath hitch, the moment stretching into an eternity. The desire to close the gap, to feel the familiar yet thrilling sensation of his kiss, was overwhelming and every fiber of you yearned for that kiss that would final bridge all those years of resentment.

Harry’s gaze was intense, his eyes searching yours as if trying to decipher your every thought. His hand trembled slightly as he reached out, cupping your cheek with a tenderness that spoke volumes.

With a deep breath, Harry leaned in slowly, closing the miniscule gap between you. His lips brushed against yours with a feather light touch, tentative yet filled with longing. His lips were warm and soft, fitting against yours as if they had always belonged there.

A soft sigh escaped Harry’s lips, a mixture of relief. His hand moved from your cheek to the nape of your neck, pulling you closer. The kiss deepened, each movement a silent confession of years of yearning and regret.

Lost in the moment, you ran your fingers through his hair, savoring the texture and the closeness it brough. His touch sent sparks through your body, awakening every nerve ending with a delicious ache between your legs that only he could take care of.

“Let me have you” His breath mingling with yours as he whispered, “I want you so bad” His hand took yours, guiding it to him, making you feel the intensity of his longing and the very evident erection that he had grown for her. His words hung in the air, heavy with desire.

You nodded slowly, your breath hitching in your throat. "Yes," you whispered, your voice trembling with anticipation. "I want you too.” You didn’t think much about it. Your mind was too clouded.

Harry closed the distance between you, his lips capturing yours in a kiss both tender and urgent. He used the kiss to roll you to your side with your back towards him. Harry pulled off the sweater off your body and pull the straps of your bralette off your shoulders, exposing more skin for his lips to capture.

Harry hands came down to your pants as his lips trailed down to your neck, each kiss a lingering, deliberate caress that sent shivers down your spine. As his mouth found the sensitive spot just below your ear, he paused, letting his lips brush lightly over your pulse point before his right hand found its way into your underwear.

“Try to stay quiet, yeah?” As his fingers started playing with you, touching your most intimate spots. His knee came between your legs, spreading them more and allowing him to explore more of you.

Harry left arm went under her head, for you to rest your head against his bicep while he had his way with you. You bit your lips, arching your hips towards his hand just as his fingers entered you. A rush of pleasure coursed through you, mingling with a cascade of nerves that made your heart race.

“God. You are so wet, pup” He groaned as he tried his best to contain himself. Harry left hand came down to cover your mouth as your moans got louder. “You are doing so good, baby”, he mumbled, his arms tightening around you.

“For the love of fuck” you gasped as you came undone on his fingers. It was hot, you were both still nuzzled in the sleeping bag. Just as you unzipped the sleeping bag and sat up, you caught Harry sucking the same two fingers that had been in you a second ago.

“Come here” Harry commanded as he slipped off his joggers and boxers. It was a sight that she hoped to never forget. The muscles of his abdomen flexed proof that he spent his diligent time at the gym. His erection stood tall and proudly inviting you to ride him.

You slipped off your pants and underwear. Harry hands gripped your waist tightly and guided you down on to him. The pleasure was instant as he stretched you out. Harry’s fingers gripped you tightly, holding you still for a second as you both adjusted to the sensation.

His chest rose and fell with rapid breaths as his head was thrown back.

“Show me how much you missed me” You said to him which only ignited the fire within him. His hands guided your hips, as you both tried to find the perfect rhythm to drive you off the edge.

“Look at you. So fuckin’ perfect just f’me” Your words only ignited the fire within him, a spark that quickly grew into an all-consuming blaze.

His hands firmly guided your hips, every movement deliberate and driven by an intense desire to bring you both to the peak of ecstasy. The sensation of his strong hands on your skin, the way he moved with you, sent waves of pleasure rippling through your body. You both sought the perfect rhythm, each thrust and shift in sync, the friction and pressure building with every passing second.

“Oh, baby… you are so tight” he moaned, Harry’s grip tightened on your waist, his fingernails digging into your skin. Your thrust and grinding became sloppier and soon enough both of you were moaning. You clenched around him as Harry lifted his hips from the ground as you both came undone.

You laid down on his chest with him still in you. It was comforting, having him in you. Harry’s hands came up and brushed your sweaty hair back.

“You aren’t going to disappear now, are you?” You asked as he drew patterns on your sweaty back.

“I am not going anywhere”.

[flwrstqr]

— HOW TO LOSE A GUY IN 10 DAYS (LHS - 이희승)

SYNOPSIS ! an advice writer, you, starts on a bold new project for an article aiming to explain how to drive a man away in just 10 days. your editor is supports, so you set out to find a suitable man for her experiment. meanwhile, executive heeseung is equally confident in his ability to make any woman fall in love with him within 10 days. when you and heeseung cross paths, things slightly go off plan.

THE CAST heeseung x writer! fem reader

GENRE s2l, fluff, comedy, romance

WORD COUNT 5k+

WARNINGS parties, kissing, small grammar errors, yn kind of playing with heeseung at first, swearing, angst, crying

DANi NOTEZ hii this is for my liz's new event!!! this i based the rom com, how to lose a guy in 10 days. i kind of changed up scenes but the main idea and plot is based on the iconic 2000s movie. i've been writing this for abt 2-3 days? i thought it was good enough for liz' event so here i am. anyways i hope u enjoy it ><

BEING A WRITER HAS BEEN YOUR NUMBER ONE GOAL EVER SINCE HIGH SCHOOL. Now, at age 23, you were finally standing at the gates of the biggest magazine company ever. The sight alone sent chills down your spine, filling you with exhilaration.

Taking a deep breath, you pushed open the doors and stepped inside. The bustling activity, the hum of the printer, and the aroma of bitter coffee greeted you. You made your way to the elevator and anxiously pressed the button for the 17th floor.

Upon arrival, you awkwardly walked into the office. Your heart was pounding, and your knees were slightly shaking. You approached the manager's office and opened the door, finding yourself sitting in front of your section's main manager.

"YN LN?" the woman asked.

"Yes, ma'am," you replied stiffly, nerves evident in your voice.

"Welcome to our magazine company," she greeted, shaking your sweaty hand.

"Thank you," you responded with your usual sweet smile.

"Well, why don't you get to work?" she laughed. Your eyes widened, and you quickly stammered an apology, rushing to find your new desk and start brainstorming ideas.

For nearly two hours, you gazed out the window, feeling empty. No ideas were coming to you. It always seemed that the best ideas came at the worst times, and now, when you needed them most, your mind was blank.

"YN, just think…" you whispered to yourself, running your fingers through your hair. You glanced around the office, hoping for inspiration. Your eyes settled on a young man and woman engaged in a flirtatious conversation. Watching them smile and laugh together made you wonder if they were a couple or just interested in each other. (happy couples really did give you an ick.)

Then, it happened. The perfect idea. An idea that could possibly get you promoted and shake the whole world.

Quickly scribbling on your paper, the title snapped into your mind: "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days."

YOU MIGHT BE WONDERING, how do you even lose a guy in 10 days? Easy—just find a guy and drive him away by doing stereotypical “girl things.” Sounds like a piece of cake, right?

“YN, that is one of the BEST ideas I’ve ever heard!” your editor, Yeseo, exclaims.

“Really?” you ask, eagerly smiling.

“It’s perfect! It would catch everyone’s attention!” Yeseo explains, her eyes lighting up as she imagines the situation.

“So, how are you going to write this?” Yeseo raises an eyebrow.

“I’ll try it out myself and document my experiences. That way, it’s more authentic,” you shrug.

“That sounds great. Just journal your experiences each day,” Yeseo nods, agreeing with your plan. “I’m so excited to see the final product, YN. Email me once you’re finished, and we’ll get it published within weeks.”

You give her a quick smile before leaving her office, ready to start your new adventure.

PARTIES. USUALLY ONE OF THE THINGS YOU ABSOLUTELY HATED. The noise of couples kissing, people screaming, and music blasting through the speakers was just not your thing. The way sweaty bodies brush against each other as they chug alcohol. Parties are truly the thing you hate the most.

“So you’re telling me your new article for the magazine is about how to get a boy to dump you in 10 days?” Karina raised her eyebrow.

“In other words, yes,” you smiled. “I mean, what’s the worst that can happen?”

“Possibly it not working,” Giselle interjected.

“Well, it will. I’ve planned the whole thing,” you grinned with a hint of pride. “My editor was impressed. I’m sure it’ll work.”

“If you say so,” Karina laughed at your confidence.

“So basically, YN will get a boyfriend before me?” Ningning asked, shocked.

“Well, he’s not gonna be my boyfriend. He’s more like a test,” you replied uncertainty. As you continued to explain your plan, you felt a gaze fixed on you from across the room.

A FEW MINUTES BEFORE

“I bet you can’t get a girlfriend,” Jake joked.

“I can,” Heeseung rolled his eyes.

“Wanna bet on it, then?” Jake's eyes glinted with playfulness.

“Deal,” Heeseung confirmed.

“If you get that girl over there as your girlfriend, then I’ll give you a thousand dollars.” Jake smirked, pointing at you across the room.

“Her?” Heeseung raised his eyebrow as he checked you out. You were pretty to his eyes, though he wasn’t sure if he had the courage to approach you.

“Yup, her,” Jake grinned.

“Deal, I’ll have her in my arms within a day,” Heeseung winked before walking over to ask for your number.

NOW

“No way my plan will fail–” your voice stopped as Heeseung approached, tapping your shoulder lightly.

“Hi,” he greeted you with a welcoming smile.

“Uh, hi?” you replied, confused.

“You’re kind of cute. Can I get your number?” Heeseung asked, the words not quite rolling off his tongue as he had never done this before.

Your cheeks burned slightly as you stared. “Sure?” He was quite cute, with his sweet smile and perfectly styled hair. You gave him your number, and he mentioned he would text you later before walking off.

“YN, you know what that means?” Giselle raised her eyebrow.

“Huh?” you looked confused.

“You can use him as your test,” Winter recalled. Your eyes then widened. Perfect! He would be the perfect subject for your new article. Now, how were you going to make him yours?

YOU SIT ON YOUR BED, staring at your phone, debating whether to text Heeseung first. Your fingers hover over the keyboard, a mixture of nervousness and excitement bubbling inside you. Finally, you take a deep breath and type out a message.

YN: Hi, it’s YN. We met at the party earlier, you asked for my number. :)

You hit send and immediately feel a rush of anxiety. What if he doesn’t respond? What if he thinks you’re weird? You try to distract yourself by scrolling through social media, but the minutes feel like hours. Suddenly, your phone buzzes.

Heeseung: Hey, of course I remember. How's your night going? 

YN: It’s going good, just relaxing now. How about you?

Heeseung: Same here. Just got home. That party was a bit too much for me, tbh

You smile, feeling a little more at ease.

YN: Agreed, not rlly a party person lmao

Heeseung: Really? Me neither. I actually prefer a quiet night with some good music.

YN: Same, what kind of music do you like?

Heeseung: I listen to a lot like R&B and indie ig

YN: oh rlly? Same w me 

Heeseung: oh that’s cool

Heeseung: also wanna meet up one day?

YN: That would be amazing. I’m totally up for it.

Heeseung: Cool, it’s a date then. :)

You can’t help but smile at his message, feeling a flutter of excitement.

YN: Sounds like a plan.

Heeseung: It’s getting late. I should probably get some sleep. But I’m glad we got to talk tonight.

YN: Me too. Sleep well, Heeseung. Talk to you tomorrow?

Heeseung: Definitely. Goodnight, YN. :)

You set your phone down, a smile still on your face. This might just be the start of something interesting.

YOU TAKE A DEEP BREATH, smoothing out your outfit one last time before stepping into the restaurant. Heeseung is already there, waiting at a table near the window. He spots you and waves, a warm smile spreading across his face. You give a small smile back. 

“Hi,” you greet him as you sit down.

“Hey,” he replies, “You look great.”

“Thanks, you too.”

The waiter comes over to take your orders, and there’s a moment of awkward silence as you both look at the menus.

“So, uh, do you come here often?” Heeseung asks, attempting to break the ice.

“Actually, it’s my first time,” you admit.

“I see,” Heeseung awkwardly laughs. 

AFTER DINNER, you both step outside into the cool evening air, feeling more comfortable in each other’s presence.

“That was really nice,” Heeseung says, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

“Yeah, it was,” you agree, feeling a sense of relief that the awkwardness from earlier has faded.

You walk side by side down the quiet street, enjoying the peaceful atmosphere.

“Do you live far from here?” Heeseung asks, breaking the silence.

“Not too far. Just a few blocks away,” you reply, glancing at him.

“Oh I see,” he says, smiling.

As you continued walking, the two of you began to chatter off. The conversation flows effortlessly, and you find yourself laughing at his jokes and sharing your own stories.

“Did you see the sunset earlier?” Heeseung asks, pointing to the sky, which is now painted with shades of orange and pink.

“Yeah, it was beautiful,” you say, smiling at the sight.

“I had a really good time tonight,” Heeseung says, looking at you with a soft smile.

“Me too,” you reply, feeling a warmth spread through you.

As you reach your street, you both come to a stop.

“Well, I guess this is where we part ways,” Heeseung says, looking a little reluctant to leave.

“Yeah,” you say, feeling a twinge of disappointment.

“Thanks for tonight, YN. I had a great time,” he says, stepping closer to you, “Maybe another time we can hang out again.” 

“Thank you too, Heeseung. That sounds great,” you reply, feeling a rush of happiness.

 YOU DECIDE IT'S TIME TO PUT YOUR PLAN INTO ACTION. You’ve thought through every detail, determined to see if your article concept works in real life. Step one: find an ugly dog and some hideous clothes. You’ve got the perfect ideas in mind.

You meet Heeseung outside his apartment, holding a small, scruffy dog with a face only its owner could love. You flash him a bright smile as he opens the door.

“Surprise!” you exclaim. “I got us a dog!”

Heeseung’s eyes widen as he takes in the sight of the dog. “Uh, wow, YN. That’s…unexpected.”

“Isn’t he adorable?” you gush, ignoring the bewilderment on Heeseung’s face. “I named him Snuggles.”

“Snuggles, huh?” Heeseung says, trying to muster enthusiasm. “Yeah, he’s…something.”

You place Snuggles in Heeseung’s arms, watching as the dog licks his face with an enthusiastic, slobbery tongue. Heeseung grimaces slightly but manages a strained smile.

“Let’s take him for a walk,” you suggest brightly, grabbing a garishly colored leash from your bag.

Later that evening, you bring out the next part of your plan: an outfit so hideous that it should be impossible for Heeseung to bear. You hand him a neon green tracksuit with orange polka dots and a pair of mismatched shoes.

“I thought we could match!” you say, revealing your identical outfit. “Isn’t it fun?”

Heeseung looks at the clothes, then back at you, clearly unsure how to respond. “Wow, YN. This is…unique.”

“You don’t like it?” you ask, pouting slightly.

“No, no, it’s great,” he says quickly. “I’ll just, uh, go change.”

When he returns, you both look like you’ve stepped out of a bad 80s workout video. You can’t help but laugh at the absurdity, but Heeseung seems to be struggling to keep a straight face.

“Let’s go grab dinner,” you say, linking your arm with his. “I made reservations at that fancy restaurant downtown.”

At the restaurant, the two of you turn heads as you walk in, dressed in your eye-searing outfits. The hostess tries to maintain her professionalism as she leads you to your table, but you can see the corners of her mouth twitching.

Throughout dinner, you do your best to be as irritating as possible. You chew with your mouth open, talk loudly, and insist on ordering the strangest items on the menu.

“Are you sure you want the pizza?” Heeseung asks, a note of disbelief in his voice.

“Absolutely,” you reply, grinning. “And I think you should try it too!”

Heeseung hesitates but eventually nods. “Sure, why not?” 

Here you were, sitting on your bed as you write your story. Typing away and zoning out, it had to be working right? He obviously would be over you by next week. All you needed was one more shove to drive him away soon as possible. Just 5 more days..

YOU PUSH YOUR CART THROUGH the aisles of the grocery store, scanning the shelves for the items on your list. As you reach for a box of cereal, you hear a familiar voice behind you.

“YN?”

You turn to see Heeseung approaching, a smile lighting up his face. “Oh, hi Heeseung,” you say with a smile.

“Nice to see you here,” he says, falling into step beside you.

“Yeah, I just needed to grab a few things,” you reply, feeling a bit flustered by his presence.

Heeseung nods, and for a moment, there’s an awkward silence as you both continue browsing. Suddenly, you realize you can’t reach the item you need on the top shelf.

“Um, Heeseung, do you think you could help me with something?” you ask, feeling a bit embarrassed.

“Of course, what do you need?” he replies, stepping closer.

“I just need to grab that box up there,” you say, pointing to the top shelf.

“Sure thing,” Heeseung says, reaching up to grab the box.

But as he stretches, you accidentally bump into him, causing him to lose his balance. In a split second, you reach out to steady him, but instead, you end up stumbling backward, crashing to the ground on top of him. Your face merely inches from each other. 

“I’m sorry about that!” you exclaim, your face burning with embarrassment.

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it,” he says, his cheeks also flushed as he helps you up.

“Um, we should probably get up,” you say, feeling flustered.

“Yeah, definitely,” Heeseung agrees, scrambling to his feet.

You both straighten your clothes and try to regain your composure, but the awkwardness lingers in the air.

“Well, um, thanks for trying to help,” you say, feeling a bit embarrassed.

“Anytime,” Heeseung replies with a sheepish smile. You exchange a quick awkward glance before awkwardly walking back to do your own things.

YOU AND HEESEUNG STEP INTO THE DIMLY LIT MOVIE THEATER, the smell of popcorn filling the air. You’ve been looking forward to this night out, hoping it will help end your plan to drive him away. As you settle into your seats, the lights dim, and the movie begins.

The film is a romantic comedy, and as the story unfolds, you find yourself getting lost in the plot. But when the characters share a kiss on screen, you feel a sudden tension between you and Heeseung.

You glance at him out of the corner of your eye, and you can see that he’s watching you, his expression unreadable. You both look away awkwardly, feeling a flush of embarrassment.

As the movie progresses, the tension between you only grows. You can feel Heeseung’s eyes on you, and you struggle to focus on the screen, your heart pounding in your chest.

Suddenly, as another kiss happens, Heeseung leans in closer to you. You freeze, unsure of what to do. Is he going to kiss you? But then, almost as if on cue, Heeseung leans in closer, his lips hovering just inches from yours. His breath mingles with yours, his warm exhales tickling your skin as he leans in, his lips drawing closer to yours. You can feel the gentle brush of his breath against your mouth, sending shivers down your spine. 

Your heart pounds in your chest as you feel the warmth of his breath against your skin. And then, in a heartbeat, he closes the gap between you, his lips pressing softly against yours. It’s a gentle kiss, but hesitant at first, but soon it deepens. You can’t help but respond, your hands finding their way to his shoulders.

You melt into the kiss, losing yourself in the sensation of his lips against yours.  When you finally pull away, your heart is racing, and your mind is buzzing with emotions. You meet Heeseung’s gaze, and you can see the same uncertainty reflected in his eyes.

“Wow,” he whispers, his voice barely audible over the sound of the movie.

“Yeah,” you murmur, at a loss for words.

As the movie comes to an end, you both sit in silence, the weight of what just happened hanging in the air. But despite the awkwardness, you can’t shake the feeling that something has shifted between you.

As you leave the theater, you can’t help but replay the kiss in your mind, feeling a sense of warmth and longing that you can’t ignore. And as you walk hand in hand with Heeseung, you realize with a start that maybe, just maybe, you’re falling in love.

AS YOU LIE IN BED THAT NIGHT, the events of the evening replay in your mind. The gentle touch of Heeseung's lips against yours, the warmth of his embrace—it all stuck in your head. 

You stare up at the ceiling, think to yourself.  Love? It's a word you're not ready to utter, a feeling too intense to comprehend. You try to push the thought aside. 

You roll onto your side, pulling the covers tighter around you. You couldn’t be in love? All that effort you put in to get rid of him. It was your 8th day, just two more days. You couldn’t do it anymore. As you drift off to sleep, the question echoes in your mind. Are you falling in love with Heeseung? 

THE REALIZATION HITS YOU like a ton of bricks, leaving you feeling breathless. Could it be true? Are you actually falling in love with Heeseung?

The thought consumes you as you go about your day. By the time evening arrives, you can't shake the feeling that you needed to end it.

Summoning every ounce of courage, you pick up your phone and dial your editor's number. When she answers, you get yourself together for the conversation ahead.

"Hey, it's me," you begin, "I need to talk to you about the article."

There's a pause on the other end of the line, and you can almost hear the curiosity in her voice as she responds. "Sure, what's up?"

"I… I can't write it," you admit, the words feeling like a confession. "I just don't feel right about it anymore."

There's a moment of silence before your editor speaks again, her tone firm."No, you're writing it," she says, leaving no room for argument.

"But—" you start to protest, but she cuts you off before you can continue.

"No buts," she insists. "We've already agreed on the topic, and you're the best person for the job. I expect to see the first draft on my desk by the end of the week."

You sigh, feeling defeated. It's clear that your editor isn't going to budge on this issue, and you know that arguing further would be a waste.

"Okay," you say reluctantly, resigning yourself to the task at hand. "I'll get it done."

AS YOU SIT ON YOUR COUCH, trying to make sense of everything that's happened, until you hear Heeseung pick up a call. 

“ Heeseung!" Jake's voice crackles through the phone, filled with excitement. "So, have you sealed the deal yet? Win YN over?"

Your heart skips a beat at the mention of your name and you instinctively lean in closer, eager to hear his response. But as you listen, the color drains from your face, and a cold dread settles in the pit of your stomach.

"The bet that I could get YN in 10 days?," Heeseung's voice comes through the phone, his words cutting through the air, "I thought I could, but…" 

Your heart shatters. Your knees started to shake. How could you have been so blind? How could you have let yourself fall for someone who was playing a game with your feelings?

Before you can hear the rest of his sentence, you leave the room silently. "I thought I could, but…" The words replay in your head.As the reality sinks in, you realize that you may have just broken your own heart, listening in on a conversation that was never meant for your ears.  He played with you. He was using you. You feel like a fool, blindsided by the truth that's been staring you in the face all along. 

You walk yourself to the nearest taxi before coming back to your empty apartment. You lie on bed, your palms on your eyes, sobbing quietly. Why should you care? I mean he was just an experiment — right? 

THE MORNING SUNLIGHT FILTERS through the curtains as you sit on your bed, thoughts rushing through your mind. The wounds from last night were still raw, as you feel tired and sick. You kew what you have to do. You began to type your last paragraph of the article before submitting it to your editor. 

With the article sent, you feel a mix of anxiety and relief. You know the revised piece is honest and raw, reflecting your own experience. But there’s one more thing you need to do to truly move forward.

To: Editor Yeseo

Subject: Resignation Letter

Dear Yeseo,

I am writing to formally resign from my position as a writer, effective immediately. I appreciate the opportunities I have had here and the support from the team, but I must prioritize my well-being at this time.

Thank you for your understanding.

Sincerely, YN

You hit send, feeling an overwhelming amount of pain. Being a writer had been your dream job, but now, it feels like a chapter you need to close. As you sit in your now-quiet apartment, you feel a pang of sadness. The memories of the past few weeks with Heeseung linger, but you push them aside. 

You start with your closet, pulling out clothes and sorting them into piles: keep, donate, and toss. You take down the photos and posters from the walls, each one a reminder of the life you’re leaving behind.

Next, you move to the kitchen, packing up dishes, utensils, and small appliances. You wrap everything carefully, methodically, as if each item represents a piece of your heart that you’re trying to protect. 

Your phone buzzes with messages from Heeseung, but you ignore them. Making them be left on delivered. You move to the living room, packing up books, DVDs, and mementos. You’re not just packing up your belongings; you’re packing up your old life, preparing to move on and start new.

IN HIS DIMLY LIT APARTMENT, Heeseung sits on the edge of his bed, the glow of his laptop screen casting shadows across his face. His heart pounds in his chest as he opens the email attachment—a document titled "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days—And Fall in Love in the Process" by [Your Name].

As the page loads, he takes a deep breath, steeling himself for what he's about to read. The cursor hovers over the first paragraph, and with a trembling hand, he begins to scroll down. 

Heeseung sits at his desk, his heart pounding in his chest as he reads the article that has just landed in his inbox. With each word, his emotions spiral into a whirlwind of confusion and disbelief.

"When I set out to write this article..."

He reads the opening sentence, his brow furrowing in confusion. What article is this? And why does it sound so familiar?

As he continues to read, the pieces start to fall into place. The description of the article, the unexpected turn of events—it's all too familiar, too painful to ignore.

"I met someone who was supposed to be just a test subject..."

Heeseung's breath catches in his throat as he realizes what he's reading. This is about him. About the bet, about the article he overheard, about everything.

He reads on, his heart pounding louder with each passing sentence:

When I set out to write this article, the plan was simple: follow a set of steps to make a guy dump me in ten days. It was supposed to be a fun, light-hearted challenge—a piece to entertain our readers. But life, as it often does, had other plans.

I met someone who was supposed to be just a test subject. But as the days went by, something unexpected happened. The more I tried to push him away, the closer we became. Every awkward moment, every forced argument, every silly plan to drive him away only brought us closer together.

I found myself laughing at his jokes, looking forward to our time together, and, against all odds, feeling a connection I hadn't anticipated. What started as a challenge turned into a journey of discovery—not just about him, but about myself.

I realized that love isn't something you can plan or control. It sneaks up on you when you least expect it, breaking down the walls you've carefully built around your heart. And sometimes, the person you're trying to lose ends up being the one you can't imagine living without.

So, dear readers, this isn't the article I set out to write. It's not about foolproof ways to make a guy dump you. Instead, it's a story about how, in the process of trying to push someone away, I found myself falling in love. It's messy, it's unexpected, and it's beautiful.

Life has a funny way of turning our plans upside down. And sometimes, the best stories are the ones we never meant to write.

He closes the magazine, his mind spinning with thoughts of you. He knows he needs to find you, to talk to you, to tell you how he feels. He can't let this opportunity slip away, can't let the chance to be with you slip through his fingers.

With a sense of determination, Heeseung rises from his seat, his heart pounding in his chest. He knows he has to find you, to tell you how he feels, to see if maybe, just maybe, you feel the same way too.

HEESEUNG'S HEART RACES AS HE RUSHES THROUGH THE STREETS, his mind consumed with thoughts of you. He knows he needs to find you, to talk to you, to tell you everything.

As he rounds the corner, he sees your apartment building looming ahead. His steps quicken, his breath coming in short, ragged gasps. He's so close now, so close to finally telling you how he feels.

But as he reaches your building, his heart sinks at the sight before him. He sees movers loading boxes into a truck parked outside, and he realizes with a sinking feeling that you're moving away.

Heeseung's chest tightens with panic, his mind racing as he searches for a solution. He can't let you slip away, can't let this chance to be with you slip through his fingers. He rushes toward the building, his thoughts jumbled all up. 

As he bursts through the door, he sees you standing in the hallway, a suitcase at your feet, tears streaming down your face. His heart breaks at the sight of your sadness, and he knows he needs to act fast.

"Y/N!" he calls out, his voice echoing through the empty hallway. You turn to face him, your eyes widening in surprise at the sight of him standing there.

"Heeseung?" you whisper, your voice trembling with emotion. "What are you doing here?"

Heeseung takes a deep breath, steeling himself for what he's about to say. "I need to talk to you," he says, his voice filled with urgency. "There's something I need to tell you, something I should have told you a long time ago."

He steps closer to you, his eyes never leaving yours. "I was part of the bet," he admits, his voice barely above a whisper. "But it was never about winning a thousand dollars or proving anything to Jake. It was about proving something to myself—to prove that I could be the kind of guy who deserves someone like you."

Tears well up in your eyes as you listen to his confession, your heart aching with a mix of sadness and hope. "Heeseung…" you whisper, reaching out to touch his hand.

But Heeseung doesn't wait for you to say anything more. With a surge of courage, he leans in and presses his lips to yours, pouring all of his love and longing into the kiss. 

As Heeseung's lips meet yours in that soft, tender kiss, his hands gently find their way to your waist, pulling you closer to him.

You feel the heat of his body against yours, the closeness intensifying the sensation of his lips moving against yours. His touch is gentle yet possessive, his fingers tracing patterns on your skin as if memorizing every curve of your body.

You pull away, staring and laughing for a moment. 

"I love you," you whisper softly. 

"I love you more," he smiles back, quietly leaning his forehead against yours to quickly catch his lips on yours again. Maybe writing that article wasn't so bad after all.

[artificial-transmutations]

Give in to the Midnight Grind

Milo could hear the thumbing bass from inside his patrol car, as he parked in front of the seedy club. It was hardly the first time the neighbors complained about the excessive noise, but it was the first time for Milo to be sent here, and also his first time going alone.

Usually, young officers like Milo - or Miles Dawson, as it read on his uniform - didn't go anywhere alone, but as it happened, his designated partner for the evening had called in sick. Milo had volunteered to go by himself, since he wanted to prove that he could be trusted to go solo. And, asking a club to turn down the music was hardly a dangerous task.

He checked his uniform again in the patrol car's rear mirror and adjusted his collar one final time. It was important to look professional, after all.

Once he was satisfied with the result, Milo exited the car and locked it before approaching the club entrance.

"The Midnight Grind" was hardly one of the most prestigious clubs in town, and the rundown facade certainly didn't do it any favors. However, that didn't seem to stop the long line of people wanting to enter. The long line of men, Milo corrected himself. Either the nightclub was very bad at attracting female customers or it was a gay club. Considering the provocative name and the leather-clad bouncer, Milo strongly suspected the latter.

Of course, gay nightclubs weren't illegal, and Milo didn't plan on causing any trouble. It was a bit uncomfortable for him, since he was straight, but then again, Milo wasn't here to party, he was only here to tell them to keep the volume down.

When he approached the bouncer, he put on his most winning smile and nodded to the burly bald man with the many tattoos.

"Good evening, Sir. I would like to speak to the management of this establishment."

The bouncer shot him a scrutinizing look and then looked back to his patrol car. Milo had expected his uniform to be enough proof for his official capacity, but perhaps, it wasn't entirely unusual for patrons to show up in a similar outfit.

"Badge." The bouncer grumbled in a voice so deep that it sounded like rocks grinding against each other.

"Oh, of course. One second."

Milo was a bit embarrassed that he hadn't thought of showing his ID earlier and brought out his official badge, still shiny and new. He showed it to the bouncer, who studied it carefully, before nodding and stepping aside, mumbling something into his radio.

"They will send someone to the entrance. Wait here."

"Thank you, sir."

Milo felt uneasy due to the looks of the men waiting in line, but none of them seemed to be particularly hostile, so Milo just smiled politely. A few of the men even seemed to check him out and one or two even winked, which Milo chose to ignore.

Finally, after several awkward minutes, another guy came out. This one was a bit younger, but also dressed in a skintight leather harness, a pair of tight jeans and combat boots. Milo's eyes wandered across his exposed skin, the tattooed chest and the piercings, but the guy didn't seem to notice and smiled widely.

"Officer? My name is Adam. The boss will see you now. Follow me."

Milo felt relief wash over him and was grateful that he could finally escape the hungry looks of the people in the queue, as he followed the young man.

Inside, the music was even louder, and Milo found himself surrounded by half-naked bodies, dancing, drinking and occasionally even making out. It was a bit of an uncomfortable sight for him, but at least the music drowned out any moaning or panting. Still, Milo considered it the best idea to just look straight ahead, avoiding any eye contact.

Adam led him to a set of stairs that went up and to a small balcony overlooking the dance floor. There, a muscular man with a neatly trimmed beard, a full sleeve tattoo and a tight black shirt was sitting on a comfortable looking sofa, smoking a cigar. His legs were spread wide, and he was clearly wearing a pair of skin-tight leather pants that did a very bad job of hiding his bulge. Well, they probably weren't designed to *hide* anything.

Adam said something, but Milo couldn't understand what was being said, so Adam repeated himself.

"The boss will see you now, Officer."

The "boss" regarded Milo from head to toe, which didn't help him feel more comfortable. To escape the situation, Milo began to speak, loud enough to be heard over the blaring and thumbing music.

"Good evening, Sir. I am Milo - I mean, Miles Dawson, Officer, actually, from the city police force and..."

Damn, he needed more routine for that, Milo thought as he stumbled over his words, but the muscular man cut him off.

"It's okay, Officer Milo. Sit down."

Milo didn't feel too comfortable being addressed by his nickname, especially not by this man, but at least he called him 'officer'. Milo gladly sat down opposite of the other man, who took another drag of his cigar.

"Thank you. What is your name, Sir?"

"You can call me 'boss'. Everyone does."

That of course wasn't according to protocol, but again, Milo didn't want to cause any trouble. In his opinion, the police were there to be as kind and helpful as possible, servants of the public more than anything else.

"Alright, Mr. ...Boss. I am here on behalf of the city police because..."

"Would you like something to drink?"

The boss asked and blew a cloud of smoke right into Milo's face, who tried to avoid breathing in the thick smoke and coughing.

"Uhm, no, thank you. I'm on duty."

"A little bit of alcohol won't hurt you, officer. But have it your way. A virgin cocktail, then?"

Again, Milo didn't want to be rude and simply nodded, smiling. If there was no alcohol involved, it wasn't against the rules.

The boss snapped his fingers, and a half-naked waiter came with a large and colorful drink, putting it down in front of Milo. The straw was formed like an erect penis. Of course. But under no circumstances, Milo wanted to come off as homophobic, so he took a small sip from the obscene straw before clearing his voice.

"Anyway, as I said, the city police were contacted by the neighbors because the music here is very loud. Now, I'm not trying to cause any trouble. We all know how it is when you have a party and have some fun, but I have to ask you to tone it just a bit."

Surprisingly enough, the boss nodded.

"I understand, Officer. Of course, we don't want to cause trouble either. I guess we got carried away a bit, some music is best enjoyed loudly. But whom am I telling that? I see you found a liking to the music as well."

Milo followed his gaze to his own leg and was surprised to see it bobbing to the rhythm. When did that happen? He didn't remember deciding to do that.

"Ah, yes, it's very catchy."

Embarrassed by his lack of control, he took another big sip from the sweet drink.

"Isn't it? But as it happens, we might have to close early today, anyway."

"Why is that?", Milo asked, before he could stop himself.

The boss shrugged his shoulder. "We're short staffed. The flu. Our stripper for today called in sick."

Milo's gaze wandered over the dancing crowd and stopped at the exclusively male dancers in the cages slightly above the dance floor, moving their sweaty bodies to the beat of the music while wearing only skimpy glittering underwear.

"Do you like what you see?" asked the boss, as he took another drag from his cigar.

"What? Oh, no, haha. I mean, sure, you have a great establam... a great club."

Damn, Milo's thoughts felt like they were moving through cotton candy, probably because of the bad air in here. A bit of ventila... a few fans wouldn't hurt, especially since the boss was still smoking his cigar.

"I see, I'm just asking because of your massive boner." The boss said casually.

Milo looked down, and indeed, a prominent tent was visible in his trousers, stretching the fabric uncomfortably.

"Shit, I'm sorry. I... I have no idea how that happened."

"Relax Milo. I'm not judging. If you like the show, feel free to watch some more."

The voice of the boss sounded reassuring, and Milo took another sip, as his eyes returned to the dancers. They did look pretty hot, he had to admit, and for a moment or two, Milo let his mind wander. What would it be like to dance on a pole like that? To show his body, to flaunt his muscles and to show off his cock and his ass, to grind on a pole like he was riding a dick...

Wait, what was he thinking? He wasn't like that at all! He wasn't a dancer, and he wasn't gay. He wiped the sweat from his brow.

"Are you alright, Milo?" asked the boss, still with a smirk on his face and the cigar in his mouth.

"If you feel uncomfortable, you can take off that jacket of yours, if you like."

Something about this felt wrong, but the boss was right. It was awfully hot. So, he took off his jacket, which helped a bit. Still, his mouth felt dry, so he drank some more cocktail.

"You should also loosen that tie. Don't want you to feel constrained."

Again, Milo did as the boss suggested, feeling more comfortable with every step of the process. The tie had really been a bit too tight. He was just about to unbutton his shirt, when the boss interrupted.

"Wait a moment, man. Finish your drink and follow me."

"Where to?", Milo asked, but the boss was already getting up and walking towards the other end of the balcony, to a door.

"Just relax. You are going to like it."

The boss was right, Milo was thinking too much. And thinking was hard, even harder than his cock was right now. Milo finished his cocktail and got up. The bulge was very prominent in his pants, bigger than Milo ever remembered seeing. For a moment, he looked for a way to hide it, but since nothing came to his foggy mind and the boss was already waiting for him, Milo decided not to care. After all, most of the guys in this club were probably hard, down on the dance floor.

The door led to a small stairway, going down and a narrow corridor after that. Milo had to duck when passing the doorframe, which confused him even more, but he couldn't really tell why. The music was even louder here, and the boss stopped in front of a glittering curtain.

"There, you can take your shirt off out there." He said and gave Milo a thumbs up.

Out there? Confused, Milo stumbled through the curtain into a sea of bright light. For a moment, the music stopped, and Milo was able to hear the voice of the boss coming from all the speakers.

"Give a warm welcome to tonight's star! Here is Macho Dawgson for you, "The Meat" himself. And there's a reason he is called that way..."

After that, a new, driving beat set in and the confusion in Macho's head cleared somewhat. What was he doing again...? Right, he wanted to get out of his shirt.

The uniform shirt was awfully tight, as Macho unbuttoned one button after the other. His body was still moving to the beat, beyond his control, but he didn't mind.

Finally, the shirt came off, and Macho twirled it around his finger for a while before throwing it into the bright light, where cheering sounds reacted to it.

For a split second, Macho looked down on himself. Was that really him? He was way fitter than he used to be, like he visited the gym regularly.

But why did that surprise him, really? He basically lived in the gym, all paid for by the boss. Again, the confusion cleared up some more and Macho started moving to the beat again, thrusting his hips and flaunting his muscles.

The crowd cheered. Of course they did. Macho could hardly keep himself from snorting. He was their fucking god, their idol, the perfect specimen of a man, and they knew it. All those fat, or skinny or otherwise pathetic dudes down there worshipped him, and they better should.

The music got faster and louder, and the dancing crowd was cheering and whistling. Macho felt their hungry eyes on his body, his abs, his pecs, his arms, his crotch. Yeah, there was a reason why they called him "The meat", and that reason was bulging out his uniform pants proudly. But before he got to the main course, he wanted to tease those losers some more.

Macho turned around and let his impressive back muscles work. Of course, he knew that his ass also was a sight to behold, but it was just for teasing. Macho was, of course, a top through and through. After the show, he would be surrounded by willing cocksuckers, who offered every hole in their bodies, begging to be bred, and Macho would make sure three or four of them got their reward tonight.

He ripped open the zipper and wiggled his ass until the pants were hanging low on his hips, and the tight underwear underneath revealed his ass crack. Yeah, Macho knew what he was doing. That's what he lived for: Gym, sex and dancing. He was a god, and he fucking knew it.

Time for the finale. Macho swirled around again and, with a strong motion, ripped off the fake police pants, revealing his stuffed-to-the-brim underwear that shadowed every other man's equipment. Other strippers often wore prosthetics to look bigger, but Macho didn't need that. The bulge in his shorts highlighted his dick and balls in a way that promised only one thing: Size.

The crowd went wild, and the music reached a climax. With a final roar, Macho pulled on his underwear now, ripping it apart and letting his giant meat spring free, enjoying the admiration and jealousy that branded against the stage.

Fuck yeah. Macho loved his job.

If you enjoyed the story and want to support my writing, check out my tip jar! There are also a few more versions of Miles/Macho!

[mattsmunchkin]

bed chem

paige bueckers X south carolina!reader

contains: smut, draft paige, use of y/n, cussing, lots of plot (i hate smut w/o it)

word count: 2.7k

a/n: this is my first time writing smut so please bear with me and give me feedback because i am unfortunately a virgin. this also would've been out sooner but college is beating my ass so this took over 4 days to write.

you check yourself out in the bathroom mirror as your makeup artist adds some finishing touches. you're dressed in a long sheer dress with your undergarments slightly visible. the dress is skintight and hugs your curves in all the right ways. your hair is pulled back in a slick low ponytail with your long curls draping along your exposed back.

with one last look and approval from your fashion team, you're heading out the door and down to your limo outside.

to say you're nervous would be an understatement. you're projected to be the top pick, but with caitlin clark right on your neck in stats, tonight could go anywhere.

obviously, you would be happy with whatever pick you got, but once the mock draft came out a few months ago, it's all that you could think about. not to mention, social media has been non-stop sharing their opinions about who they think should get the top spot.

"how you feeling, l/n?" your manager, morgan, asks from beside you.

"ready to get tonight over with." you laugh nervously.

"tonight is supposed to be fun. no matter what happens." she grabs your hand and squeezes it. you give her a small smile.

"i know. i'm just ready to be back on the court." you look out the window at the passing lights of new york city. how have you never visited this place before?

"that makes two of us," she lets go of your hand as she leans her head back with a sigh, "this offseason has been beating my ass. i don't think i can spend another day sitting in an office."

"sounds like i need to scout for a new manager." you tease as she lightly punches you in the arm. you two share a laugh as the car pulls up to the venue.

the entrance is lined with paparazzi who anxiously wait for the next attendee to arrive. you take one last deep breath and shake the nerves as you step out of the door that was held open for you. you thank the man as you follow morgan towards the entrance of the building. she steps aside as you stand in front of the cameras and pose for some pictures.

as you begin to walk away you hear commotion from behind you. you turn and see a woman dressed in a full white louis vuitton suit posing confidently for the cameras as they shout multiple commands and compliments.

"who is that?" you ask morgan who is on her phone trying to figure out where to go. she follows your line of vision.

"paige bueckers. she's a red shirt senior guard at connecticut and projected to be the number one pick in next year's draft. she's a powerhouse." she goes back to her phone as she takes a call.

you're not sure how you haven't noticed her before. south carolina played uconn, right? you suddenly can't think straight as the woman 10 feet in front of you has captivated your thoughts without even trying.

lost in a trance, you didn't even realize that she's now standing in front of you.

"hey beautiful." she stares down at you with a smirk on her face. her eyes stealing a quick glance at your body.

"hi." you smile up at her as you stare into her blue eyes. a blush creeping onto your face, the chemistry between you almost instant.

"i'm paige." she extends her hand towards you. you're taken aback by the formality, but your hand quickly meets hers.

"i'm y/n."

"the gamecock?" she asks, earning a nod from you. "i've heard a lot about you." your hands disconnect as she puts hers into her pockets.

"oh yeah? like what?" you smirk, crossing your arms.

before she can answer, morgan is calling your name saying that the ceremony is about to start. you glance back at paige who is also being called by her team. you two share another look before going your separate ways.

once in your seat, your nerves start to hit you all at once. mixed with the flooding thoughts of the woman you met not even 5 minutes ago, you're not sure how long you'll be able to sit through this.

opening remarks are through and the indiana fever takes the stage to make the first-round pick. you take a glance around the room and see paige seated a few rows back in the crowd. she winks at you before bringing her attention back to the stage.

"with the first overall pick in the 2024 wnba draft, the indiana fever select y/n l/n from the university of south carolina!"

cheers erupt around you as a smile takes over your face. you instantly pull morgan into a hug before making your way onto the stage to take a picture with the fever jersey.

you thank the woman on stage and wave at the crowd as you head back to your seat.

the rest of the night drags on as they go through the rest of the draftees. you and paige steal frequent glances throughout the ceremony as tensions grow between the two of you.

you were absolutely captivated by her at first glance and with the smirks and winks she's sending your way so frequently, you could feel the desire between your legs growing by the minute.

afterwards, you are outside on the carpet once again as the media broadcasters interview the stars of the night. you are bombarded with questions ranging from growing up playing basketball to what you're looking forward to the most as a part of the fever.

during one of your interviews, you feel a hand brush against your waist as someone passes behind you. you look and see paige smirking back at you before she turns and walks out of the venue. you bring your attention back to the interviewer and pray you don't look as flustered as you feel.

before you know it, you're back into the limo you arrived in. you let out a long-awaited breath you didn't know you were holding.

"you haven't even been a part of the team for a whole day and season tickets are already sold out." morgan says with a grin on her face. you smile and shake your head.

"you think that would make me feel better." you lean your head back and close your eyes.

"remember, you don't have to prove yourself to anyone. you earned your spot. all you have to do is keep doing what you've been doing the past 4 years." she reassures, placing a hand on your bouncing knee.

you flash her a small smile before returning your gaze to the city lights outside.

the rest of the ride is silent as your social battery died a little too early in the night for your liking. you were ready to get back to the hotel and take a long shower to...debrief.

once you've said your goodbyes to morgan and your team, you walk to your room as fast as your feet can take you. you close the door behind you and lean against it with a sigh. your phone buzzes with a notification from instagram.

kamoreaarnold wants to send you a message!

your brows furrow at the unfamiliar name. you click the notification and open the chat.

KK Arnold

hey girly pop! i gotta question for you

You

do i know you?

KK Arnold

don't worry abt it

yk my girl paige?

You

what abt her

KK Arnold

so basically she's like obsessed with you and wanted me to ask you for your number

You

oh?

why didn't she ask me herself?

KK Arnold

she scared

so is that a yes?

You

yes

*your number*

you send your number to this kk girl and get ready to get in the shower. you glance at yourself in the mirror and look over tonight's outfit. trying to convince yourself that you're no longer a gamecock.

before you can let your emotions get the best of you, you open tiktok to distract yourself. you scroll mindlessly until a video pops up that makes your eyes go wide.

an edit of paige somehow made its way to your for you page consisting of multiple clips of her from tonight. you watch the clips flash on your screen to 'so anxious' by ginuwine. you feel like the wind got knocked out of you at the way she was so confident in front of a camera. it's like she knows the affect she has on people.

as if it was planned, a call from a random number takes over the screen. you smirk with the hope of a certain person being on the other side and quickly collect yourself before answering.

"hello?"

"hey pretty girl." you hear the same intoxicating voice from earlier, only this time it's low and husky.

"hi paige." you say sweetly. you bring your legs closer together at the instant effect she had on you from purely her voice.

"how you feeling? about getting drafted and what not."

"oh i'm feeling great! just ready to be back on the court and stuff." you curse yourself at your awkwardness. you barely know this woman and all of a sudden, she has your thoughts in a knot.

"oh yeah?" you can hear the smirk in her voice. the two words making your head spin.

"mhm" seems to be the only thing you can push out right now.

your thoughts are everywhere at once and you can't seem to focus on whatever paige is talking about. you curse yourself for how easily you're allowing yourself to be enthralled by her at such a high level. you keep picturing her lips and how she would wet them with her tongue every so often. you can only imagine how soft they are and how good they would feel-

"y/n?" her voice brings you back to reality as your eyes shoot open. you realize you didn't hear a single thing she had said.

"yeah! sorry, i uh...what were you saying?" you pinch the bridge of your nose. why are you fumbling this woman so hard right now?

"what y'thinking about, baby?" the pet name rolling off her tongue effortlessly fills your head with sinful thoughts. you can hear the smirk that never seems to leave her face and the hushed tone in her voice.

"can you come over?" the question leaves your mouth before you can detest, and you hope it doesn't backfire. you couldn't spend another moment separate from this woman.

"i'll be there in 10." she responds almost immediately. she hangs up before you can respond. your mind starts to race as you think about having paige bueckers in your hotel room, all to yourself.

the next 10 minutes could not have come any slower. you spent them pacing your room and only thinking about her hands all over your body. how her lips would feel. her breath on your neck and down your body.

God, you hoped she was still in that damn suit.

you hear a knock on your door and immediately jump up from your seat on the bed and walk towards the door. with a deep breath you open the door and are met with the same paige you met on the red carpet 3 hours ago.

her lips are immediately on yours in a heated kiss. her hands set on your waist pulling you closer as yours find their way to her neck. your lips move together harmoniously, as if they've done this a million times before.

a muffled groan escapes her lips when your teeth sink into her bottom lip, her grip on your waist tightening. she moves her hands to your backside signaling you to jump to which you oblige.

she carries you over to the bed and sets you down, the kiss never faltering. her lips make their way to assault your neck as your breathless moans fill the room. it's music to her ears. your hands have been roaming her body when they tug at her top.

"take it off." you breathe out. she smirks before leaning up and tugging the top off, leaving her bare. you lean up to kiss her stomach as your tongue runs up her abs not breaking eye contact.

"fuck baby." she croaks out. she reaches behind you and begins taking your dress off. you lay back down as you lift your hips to allow her to completely strip you. her eyes roam your naked body, taking you in. "you're so beautiful."

her lips reattach with yours. her hands play with her belt buckle, undoing it and sliding her pants off. you wrap your legs around her waist and pull her closer to you.

"need you." you say between kisses. you buck your hips forward needing to feel something.

"you want me?" she reattaches her mouth to your neck, leaving more marks. you hum a response. your mind is fogged with anticipation and desire. "use your words baby."

"yes, fuck, yes i need you paige." she removes her lips from your neck and looks into your eyes with a lust-filled gaze.

"ride my face."

you're taken aback by her words. she lays down next to you and you waste no time crawling on top of her. you hover over her before her hands grab your ass and bring you to her mouth.

you moan out at the sudden contact. your hand snaps to her head and tugs at her hair, earning a muffled moan from her that vibrates against your core. her tongue runs through your folds and circles your bundle of nerves.

"fuck paige," you grind your hips on her tongue as you two hold eye contact, "so good baby."

you lean back onto your hand as your other makes its way to her work on her core. your fingers work in quick circles as she moans out, throwing her head back before reattaching to you. her tongue slides into you while her nose slightly rubs against your clit as she does so.

you bring your fingers to your mouth, sucking on them before returning them to enter her. you curl them while moving them in and out as your thumb rubs her bundle of nerves.

"holy shit y/n," she removes her mouth as she moans before replacing it with her own fingers. quickly rubbing your core as your pace quickens with hers. you're both a breathless, moaning mess. your eyes squeeze shut with your mouth agape as the knot in your stomach builds. "you're so beautiful baby," she husks before returning her mouth to your heat.

how can she talk so sweet when doing such bad things?

the way her constant moans would vibrate against you and mixed with her mouth moving in ways you could only imagine, you weren't gonna last long at all.

"m' close paige." you moan as your pace in her quickens to a speed you didn't know you were capable of. her mouth somehow finds a way to match as she hums against you, signaling that she was too.

after a few more quick thrusts, the knot in your stomach snaps as the two of you moan out loud whines and profanities, not caring about people hearing. you work each other through your highs before pulling your fingers out and bringing them to your mouth. you suck them while maintaining eye contact with the breathless girl under you who kisses your core before pulling away from you, her face glistening from your orgasm.

you move off of her and plop down next to her as you both catch your breath. she wraps her arm around your waist and pulls you in. she pulls the covers over the two of you as you share a kiss, this one gentle and sweet. you pull away and rest your head on your hand as her fingers run through your hair.

"that was so much better than i imagined." you lightly laugh as your legs intertwine with paige's.

"you imagined it before?" she asks in a teasing tone. you lightly slap her arm as she lets out a laugh.

"don't make it weird." you wrap your arm around her as you lay your head on her chest as sleep threatens to take over your body. there's a moment of silence between you.

"i hope you know this wasn't a one-time thing." she speaks up, vulnerability lacing her voice. you smile against her.

"well i look forward to the next time then." her arms tighten around your waist as she pulls you closer. she places a kiss on the top of your head.

"goodnight beautiful."

"goodnight p."

[kbstanny]

Treatment (Zayne/Reader)

✿ Fandom: Love and Deepspace

✿ Pairing: M/F

✿ Tag: NSFW

✿ Mentions: smut, mild injury mentions

✿ Word count: 5,051

✿ Summary: She had no choice but to see Dr. Zayne for treatment after a Wanderer left her injured, but his cure for her anguish wasn't quite what she had in mind.

✿ A/N: Hey! This my first fic on this website, and it's on a game I only started playing a week ago 😭

Because I'm a new player, I don't really know the world or the story very well, so if there are inaccuracies then you know why. However, I've also avoided specific plot details for this very reason.

I hope you enjoy!

Damned Knave.

She tightly gripped the gash on her thigh, limping her way down the dark deserted path. She'd received reports of disturbances down at the old munitions factory and had gone to investigate. Wanderers had been sighted after hours, so she'd gone late into the evening, and solo, as her ever-elusive partner had been unavailable. She'd handled herself fine, but a rather tricky Knave had managed to cut right through the top of her thigh.

Once she eventually hobbled her way to a street lamp, she could investigate her injuries properly. Shakily, she removed her blood-stained hands from the wound, then hummed — It didn't look too severe. The gash was long, but not so deep, stretching from her inner thigh up toward her hip. The blood made things a lot nastier than they needed to be, and the pain was bearable, at least for now. She'd hail a taxi and treat the damage at home, and if it didn't feel much better by morning, she'd consult her physician. But Dr. Zayne was a last resort.

Once morning came, she did not feel better.

The pain woke her up before her alarm did. It stung intensely, and the surrounding skin was hot and numb. Clearly rubbing alcohol, a cocktail of painkillers and gauze wasn't going to cut it. Carefully, she unwrapped the bandage to take a look at her injury — it still didn't seem too bad. Inflamed, a little gnarly, but far from incapacitating. Just painful. But she'd faced foes much fiercer than some stupid Herte Knave, and obtained injuries far more gruesome. For now, she'd suck it up. She had a job to do.

—

"Oh my god!" Tara gasped. "When did that happen?" Her friend asked her, leaning in to the picture on her phone. She'd snapped the pic before getting ready for work this morning, thinking it would be a funny story to tell to Tara at the office. But her friend's reaction was a little more alarmed than she'd anticipated.

"Last night, at the factory. There were some serious beasts down there, but you wanna know caused that? A Knave of all things." She chuckled, shaking her head. Tara didn't look so amused.

"Aren't you hurt? Have you been to the doctor?"

"It's just a scratch, Tara, I'll be fine."

"That is not just a scratch! That needs stitches!—"

"What needs stitches?"

Captain Jenna approached the two, her arms folded tightly across her chest. She had a scrutinising look in her eye, one that said 'Why are you chatting and not working?' It reminded her of her old teachers.

The hunters were silent, looking between each other. She shot Tara a warning look, but Tara ignored it, turning the phone to face Jenna. "This does."

Jenna leaned in, her eyebrows raising, breaking her steely expression. "Why yes, it does... Is this you?" She looked to her, and she sighed softly, a little embarrassed.

"Yes, but I feel fine. I promise. If I didn't, I'd take the day off."

"Have you had it treated?" Jenna cut to the chase.

"...No." She admitted, and Jenna sighed.

"Well go. At once. That could easily get infected." The captain straightened up, her tone commanding. There was no room for negotiation. "Honestly, I thought you'd have more sense than to leave an injury like that unattended." With that, Jenna walked away. She waited until her captain was out of sight before standing and addressing Tara.

"Did you really have to snitch on me?" Though she already knew she would — anything to impress Jenna. Tara gave a sheepish look.

"Well I had to do something! I'm only looking out for you." But she pat Tara's shoulder, shaking her head and smiling.

"I know, I know, you're right... as usual. I really shouldn't ignore it. Thanks Tara." Tara gave a knowing smile.

"I am usually right! Now go and see Zayne. He might be a little scary but he knows what he's doing." They both chuckled at that.

Tara knew what her friend was hesitant to admit: It wasn't that she was ignorant of the risks of open wounds, nor was she a particularly nervous patient. She just didn't want to see Zayne.

Not because the doctor was in any way cruel or unpleasant, he wasn't even scary as such. But the doctor was so cold, and the icy chill of his eyes permeated her core with a mere glance her way. Zayne had been an old forgotten friend, a dear one, but now he was a figurehead for her ailments. All that time they'd spent together as children seemed meaningless now. They couldn't have drifted further apart. Zayne was a bad omen, and a sign her past had been well and truly shattered.

But that was only half of the reason. The other reason, the more embarrassing one, was that she found Zayne stupidly attractive. Not only because he had the face of an angel and a body carved from marble, but for his work ethic, his dedication, his intelligence. And of course, she couldn't help but feel sentimental toward him over the time they'd spent together as kids. She yearned to reconnect with him. He had a potent effect on her. When she was near him, his mere presence was enough to suck the words out of her mouth, to reduce her to a shrinking violet with no resolve. Like a silly teenager with a crush. And that wasn't like her at all. She hated not having control.

She wasn't certain whether the feeling was mutual. There was something about the way that he looked at her, on occasion, that made her heart flare up. Sometimes she thought he had a tenderness to his tone that he just couldn't have used with everyone, but maybe that was wishful thinking? His concern for her health and wellbeing seemed obsessive, too. Never had her previous physicians been so zealous, but Zayne was a renowned surgeon. Perhaps it was just a sign he was good at his job, and nothing more? She didn't know, and she didn't like thinking about it.

With a deep breath, she rapped on the door to his office. With any luck, he'd be busy, and she'd be forced to return to HQ and schedule an appointment the long way.

"Come in." He answered — Damn.

She walked inside, standing by the door with her hands behind her back. Zayne was busy typing away at his computer, and he hadn't even spared her a glance. She hadn't realised she'd been quiet until Zayne spoke up again.

"Can I help you?"

She snapped out of her daze. "Yes, if you're not too busy. I injured myself while dealing with a Wanderer. I was hoping you could take a look."

It was upon hearing her voice that Zayne decided his patient was more interesting than his computer, and he turned to face her, scrutinising her slightly crooked form, and the way she carried her weight. He thought for a moment or two.

"Your left thigh." How did he know that? She looked down, but her injury was completely concealed, and no blood had seeped through her clothes.

"Yes, how did you—"

"What happened exactly? Take a seat." She nodded, heading to sit down on the chair opposite the doctor, but he shook his head.

"Not there. On the examination table."

"Right."

As she sat down, Zayne quickly punched one final sentence into the keyboard, before turning to face her, waiting for her answer.

"It happened yesterday. A Wanderer, as I said." She clarified, and Zayne hummed.

"So the Wanderer attacked you directly? You didn't sustain this injury through any other means during the battle?" She shook her head. Zayne made a note of this on his computer.

"And do you have any other injuries?" She told him no again.

"Alright. I need to examine you, if that's okay."

She nodded, looking down to where her legs were outstretched on the table, before coming to an awkward realisation: She was wearing pants. She couldn't just pull her skirt up, she'd have to strip the item off entirely.

"Yes, of course." She began to fiddle with the button to her pants, before Zayne stiffened, taking the curtain that surrounded the table.

"Tell me when you're ready." With that, he shut the curtain around her. She released a sigh of relief, grateful for the privacy, though she felt a little stupid for not closing it herself. She wasn't sure how she'd compose herself having to undress in front of him.

Once her pants were off, she came to a second mortifying realisation: Her underwear. The item was black and lacy, made from sheer mesh, hardly concealing her delicate areas. The type you'd wear for a lover, and not at all the sort of thing you'd wear to work. But she'd washed all of her more practical undies yesterday, and thanks to one pesky Knave, hadn't found the time to dry them before morning. If she'd known she'd be stripping down in Zayne's office for an examination, she would have stopped off at the shops on her way to work to buy something cheap and appropriate. Hell, she probably would have bought boxer shorts.

"Shit." She hissed under her breath.

What would Zayne think of her? Surely he'd think it was deliberate. She'd approached him for treatment, and she just so happened to be wearing semi-transparent lingerie? There was no way he'd find that coincidental. He'd think she was some sort of pervert. Was it too late to get out of here?

"Are you alright? Or are you struggling to get changed?" Zayne asked from the other side of the curtain. Her chest felt tight — how long had she been sat there worrying?

"No, I'm fine. I'm ready now." She panicked, blurting out the words despite herself, cursing internally as Zayne pulled back the curtain. The doctor said nothing as his eyes drank in the sight of her, nor did his expression give anything away — Not that she'd know, she avoided his gaze like the plague, staring intently at the floor. But despite his composure, Zayne certainly noticed her indelicate attire. And despite his healing instincts, and the rather prominent gash on her thigh, her panties were the very first thing that held his attention.

Zayne sat beside the bed, on the side of her injured leg, leaning in close to the cut. He took a long look at it, reticent as ever, before finally meeting her gaze.

"What time did this happen yesterday?"

"In the evening."

"And you didn't think to call me when it did?" Zayne pressed. Her words were trapped in her throat for a moment, before she finally pushed them out.

"Well... no. It was late, and it didn't seem so bad at the time."

"It's never too late to check yourself in to a hospital." Zayne stated the obvious. "Whether I was available or not, you should have had this seen to immediately." His tone was stern, his stare unwavering. She said nothing. "When something like this happens, you need to call me, no matter how late it is. I'm your primary care physician, it's what I'm here for. And if I can't see to you personally, I can find someone who can."

"I understand. I will do, next time."

"You really ought to take your health more seriously. You have a duty, as a hunter, to protect people. Lives depend on you. And you can't protect anybody if you can't take adequate care of yourself. Being anything less than thorough with your wellbeing is selfish, and neglectful of your duties." His words made her brows furrow, a mixture of annoyance and shame, but she still didn't respond.

"Injuries sustained through Wanderer attacks are more susceptible to infections. Some are serious, and fast-acting, as you should well know. I cannot stress enough the importance of getting wounds like these seen to as soon as possible—"

"I know, Doctor." She interrupted, a little snappy. "I told you already. I will next time, and I'm here now, aren't I?" But did she have any right to be annoyed with his tone? Deep down she knew she didn't, that she was only being stubborn, but she couldn't help herself.

"Please don't be so reckless next time." Zayne asked her, his tone softer, his eyes so tender she couldn't stand to look at them anymore. She couldn't take it when he scolded her.

The doctor sighed softly through his nose.

"This will need sutures, but I'll need to clean the wound and check for signs of infection first, which requires a physical examination. Is that alright?" His words nearly made her melt.

"That's fine." She composed herself well enough for an answer.

Zayne brought a gloved hand to her thigh, and although the gesture was purely clinical, she couldn't help the heat that rushed to the spot between her legs. His hands were cool, and his touch gentle, so gentle that if she closed her eyes and pictured a different context, it could've been a loving caress. Zayne pressed his fingers firmly against her thigh.

"Does that hurt?"

"No." She answered honestly. Zayne repeated the motion to the space surrounding her injury, his fingers travelling in a small circle, starting from the bottom of the cut, until they creeped inwards. Zayne gently pulled at her thigh, widening her legs as he continued his examination. She was trying her best not to react.

She cast her gaze downwards, to the fingers between her legs, and her heart dropped. From this angle, under the stark white lights, she was clearly exposed. Nothing was left to the imagination. She was so embarrassed she nearly screamed, looking to Zayne to try and gauge his reaction — but she couldn't. He was too focused on the task at hand.

Her breath became shaky as she observed the way he prodded at her, how his fingers crept ever-closer to her arousal. Just one budge in the opposite direction and those tough, broad hands would be swept over her cunt. Imagining how his fingertips would tickle the mesh of her panties was enough to make her wet.

She heard her name in the recesses of her mind, and then again. Only the second time did she realise it was coming from Zayne's lips.

She snapped back to reality, looking back at him with eyes wider than intended. He stared back at her with a cutting gaze.

"I asked you whether it hurt, where I was touching you." He repeated. She opened her mouth to speak, but it was a few moments before she could cough the words out.

"No— no, sorry. I was a million miles away." She chuckled sheepishly.

Zayne looked back at her, giving nothing away. How exciting, he thought, that he could tell exactly what was going through her mind, yet she didn't have a clue what he was thinking? Zayne was extraordinarily good at hiding his emotions, but his patient? Not so much.

She was embarrassed, that much was clear. Whether the lingerie was a wardrobe malfunction or a bold decision she quickly came to regret, he wasn't sure.

What was also clear was that she liked it — what he declined to express was that he did too.

How could he not? If it were anybody else, he wouldn't give such scandalous attire a second thought. As a doctor, he was indiscriminate; a body was just a body. He'd seen the hidden corners of countless beautiful women and it never swayed his commitment to his work or hindered his professionalism — not once. But she was different. Surely, despite how reserved he was, she could tell that she was different? That this tension between them was all but ordinary?

"I don't believe you have an infection, but I'd like to see you in a week for observation. If anything changes, let me know immediately." He told her, his tone as stoic as ever. Yet his hand lingered at her inner thigh, so close to her cunt she was sure he could feel the heat through his gloves. Eventually, he did move his hand. Despite his feelings, there was a more pressing matter at hand.

Zayne then proceeded with the usual cleaning and dressing procedures, and she suppressed a hiss as he swabbed the wound with antiseptic. During this entire exchange, she'd been uncharacteristically quiet, whereas Zayne was as quiet as usual. The silence was unbearable, she wasn't sure she could ever recall a time where she'd felt so awkward that it hurt. Her body was so tense, and her lust swelled so needily that she couldn't suppress the words that left her mouth next.

"I'm sorry about the underwear." She blurted, her apology cutting through the tension like a hot knife through butter. But it didn't take long for the searing metal to scorch her skin — she regretted the words almost the moment she'd said them.

Zayne paused, placing down the suture needle he was prepping before staring straight back at her. There was a hint of mirth behind his eyes, that came into fruition through a small, teasing smile.

"Don't apologise." His tone was gentle and neutral.

Did he say that so things wouldn't be uncomfortable, or because he liked the look of them?

"I didn't wear these because I knew you'd see them, all my other pairs hadn't dried. And I wasn't even going to see you in the first place, I only did because Jenna told me to!" She couldn't help but explain herself, a grimace on her face, but Zayne remained quiet as he brought the needle to the cut.

The anaesthetic numbed the pain. She felt uncomfortable again, with Zayne's sudden silence. She wondered whether he'd respond at all, whether she'd made things too awkward, but Zayne was simply mulling over the best thing to say.

"You don't usually wear lingerie to work, then?" He enquired, meeting her gaze once he'd pulled the stitch through. She chuckled bashfully, dipping her head.

"No. Never. They've been irritating me all day." Zayne hummed at this, continuing with his sutures. "Why, would you prefer it if I did?"

She wasn't sure where such boldness had come from. Likely it was that her lips below were talking for the ones above, despite how twisted up she felt inside. Yet again, she quickly regretted her pitiful attempt at flirting, until Zayne seemed to bite.

He met her eyes again, his smile wider now. He loved seeing her so playful. "I'm not sure I can come up with an answer that's both professional and true."

Her desire burned at his words, so brightly that she swore she could feel a hole forming in her chest. She clenched, unwittingly, never had she been so eager to feel him. A Cheshire-cat smile stretched across her face, the type of smile that she was sure made her look silly, yet Zayne found it endearing.

She began to laugh, though at first it was deep in the pit of her stomach, and Zayne continued with his work. But she couldn't help her laughter, the swell of emotions overtaking her. Embarrassed, yet immensely satisfied. How unexpected that things were beginning to work out for her?

Zayne finished the sutures, gathering fresh gauze as he began to dress the wound, amused by her reaction. "Do you truly find me that funny?" He asked in a level tone, and her laughter died down so that she could respond.

"Zayne, you are the furthest thing from funny." Though she didn't elaborate, as there was no need. Her belly full of butterflies was clear without words. The doctor hummed and finished dressing the wound.

She watched him as quiet settled over them again, but this time it wasn't an awkward silence. Instead, it was charged with sexual tension. Zayne stopped looking at her thigh in favour of the warmth between her legs. He stared, unabashedly, and the look on his face struck a bolt of fresh arousal through her heart.

He took his gloves off, then slowly, he reached over, tracing his fingertip over the lacy edge of her underwear. "Why do you have underwear like this anyway? Do you have a partner?" He asked her. She thought he sounded almost a little possessive, but it was clear another man in the picture wouldn't stop him anyways. His eyes flitted up to hers.

Her face felt hot at the question. Goosebumps prickled up across her skin in an instant, her cunt twitching from the subtle contact. "No."

"No?" He tested, taking his finger directly over her heat, stroking it up and down over the thin mesh of her panties. He could feel her wetness soaking through, and the way she twitched under his touch. "Then I'm right to assume that these are only for me?" There was a mischievous glint in his eye, one that she mirrored.

"That's right."

Her answer pleased him. She spread her legs a little wider, resisting the urge to moan despite the fact he'd hardly touched her. Zayne slipped his fingers beneath her underwear, finally feeling her properly. The sensation made her gasp.

He merely trailed his touch along the length of her cunt, between her folds, sticky with her slick. He was teasing her, taking his precious time as he lapped up the look on her face.

"You're already so wet."

His voice was collected. He was completely in control, while the woman at the end of his fingers was quickly unravelling by the second. She said nothing, releasing a shaky breath. Zayne stood, sitting opposite her on the table.

He took his fingers from the lips below to the ones above, tracing them gently, before taking hold of her jaw. He pulled her forward, and their lips collided in a greedy kiss. She poured her desire into him, clasping him tightly, pulling him closer, her eyes clenched shut as he expelled the tension from her form.

Yet Zayne, as always, appeared composed. He parried her hungry affections effortlessly, his grip on her jaw becoming firm. Zayne led the charge, as he guided her lips against his, eventually setting their pace. She slowed down to appreciate him, but before long the kiss was broken. Zayne pulled away with a soft smile, his lips a little puffy as he pressed them chastely to her cheek.

He brought his fingers to her lips again. "Suck them for me." His command was gentle without losing its timbre, and she obeyed, sucking on the digits without question, briefly, until he pulled them out of her mouth. Zayne brought his wetted fingers back to her cunt, pulling her underwear to one side and sticking his fingers firmly against her.

She huffed at the sensation. His fingers were still a little cold, warmer now thanks to her mouth. She clenched, feeling empty, needing him inside of her.

Zayne rolled his fingers over her clit, and not too slowly, which took her by surprise. She moaned already, widening her legs for him. He wore a focused expression, lust sparking beneath his pointed gaze.

He sat more comfortably between her legs, taking her thigh, before inserting a finger into her cunt. She whined, though she was wet enough to offer no resistance. He pushed it deep inside of her in one, smooth motion.

She clenched tightly with her core, as if to hold on to him, wanting to keep him inside of her, sighing as he pulled his finger out, only for him to add a second.

This was a tighter fit. She moaned, trying to keep her voice down, angling her hips up to feel him better. Zayne slowly began to pump both his fingers, up deep inside of her then down to the tips. The friction of her walls against him was marvellous.

"You feel wonderful." He told her, his eyes locked on hers, fixed on every micromovement. Everything about her, from the sound of her voice, the small parting in her lips, the sight of her so uninhibited before him — it was poetry in motion. This woman, as capable and stubborn as she was, was helpless at his touch.

I do feel wonderful, she thought, scoffing at Zayne's compliment. She felt blissful, like a ball of a thousand knots had at once been untied, releasing a deep strain she'd been harbouring in her stomach. Ever since she'd reunited with Dr. Zayne, those ties had knotted. Every time she'd seen him, the palpable tension between them had grown and grown. Until now.

Zayne sat up straight, then hoisted her up, taking his fingers out briefly to pull her panties off entirely, carelessly discarding the item on the floor. It was only a momentary distraction — soon Zayne's fingers slipped past her walls yet again, though this time he was positioned beside her, his other arm hooked around her waist, holding her close.

He pumped his fingers faster, his motions mechanical, his rhythm never wavering, and she struggled to contain the sound of her mewls.

"Shh. You need to be quieter." He hushed her, gently. "As much as I love hearing you, the walls here aren't so thick." He managed a chuckle, dipping his head to her neck, pressing a short trail of kisses down its length. This made her shiver

"That's— that's the wrong way to get me to be quiet." She scolded, playfully, matching his smile. Her words were breathy and choppy from her efforts to conceal her pleasure.

"Noted." Zayne turned her head toward his, then caught her lips in another kiss, one more frenzied than the first. Zayne used his lips to muffle the noises coming out of hers, eating every moan and whine she poured into him. He pushed his fingers as deep as they could reach inside of her, stroking her walls with a beckoning motion. Meanwhile, he played with her clit with his thumb, breaking their kiss to observe her reactions.

She looked divine. Her lips were wet and inflamed, dripping with saliva, her hair tousled, her expression languid. And he could see how she tried so hard to keep quiet for him, how her whimpers bubbled in her mouth, how hard she breathed through her nose. She felt she must have looked silly, but Zayne didn't think so at all.

"So you can do what you're told?" He teased, sounding more playful than she'd ever heard him. She huffed at this, far too wound up to retort.

He suddenly began to pump his fingers again, faster than before, which took her time to adjust to. She gasped, but caught most of the sound in her mouth, her eyes fluttering shut.

She could feel her climax swelling. It couldn't be far away. Her body felt tight and hot, her face clenched with the torment of having to keep quiet. She held his hand, leaning into him, her movements becoming fidgety as she tried to channel her stimulation. Again, she clenched at Zayne's fingers, bucking her hips to take more of them. Seeing her so desperate for him was so exciting.

"You're doing so well." He didn't tease her anymore, cooing into her ear. His husky tone was enough to make her moan again, that one slipping right past her defences, ringing loud and clear. Oops.

She bit her lips, flashing Zayne an apologetic look, though he didn't seem to mind, nor did he slow down. Another pang of pleasure rippled through her, and at that she knew it was time.

"Zayne— I'm close—" She just about choked the words out, her hand coming to clamp her mouth shut. Somehow, in the heat of things, she'd forgotten she had that option.

He sped up a final time, his fingers flashing in and out of her with a series of thick squelches. Zayne fingered her like a machine, one clever in its design — to be so quick and accurate without being brutal. She felt her whole body tense, a flush of great heat washing over her, choking out her gasps as she buried her head in Zayne's shoulder. Then, at once, she reached her release.

Her body quickly went lax, the heat and strain fizzing out of her, skin tingling. It took her a few good gasps to regain her composure, eyes slowly opening. When she looked down, the light sheet on the table had been soaked through with her release, her legs glistening with sweat. Slowly, Zayne pulled his fingers out of her, earning a whine from the weary woman. He brought those fingers to his lips, sucking away her juices.

He sent her a smile, pulling her against his chest. "Did you like that?" Surely the answer was obvious, and she sent him a look that spoke a thousand words. His smile deepened. "I'm glad."

"I hope I wasn't too loud..." She mused, looking to Zayne, who leaned in to press a soft kiss to her temple. A delicate gesture that made her heart stir.

"You were. But don't worry about it." She scoffed at that, too tired to do anything but listen to him. Before she could return the favour and get Zayne off, she needed a few minutes to gather herself.

But Zayne didn't seem the least bit concerned about his own satisfaction — seeing her hit ecstasy was all he needed. He rubbed at her inner thigh, the one that wasn't injured, giving her a slightly regretful look.

"I have an appointment in twenty minutes, so unfortunately you're going to have to leave soon." The words weighed heavy on her chest, even though she knew that was stupid, nodding at Zayne with a cheeky smile.

"That's not a problem, I can make it quick." She reached over to the tent in Zayne's crotch, but he took her hand, moving it away.

"I can sort myself out." He assured her. She couldn't help but feel a little rejected. Sensing this, he stroked her cheek.

"You can make it up to me another time." They both smiled at that, staring at each other for what felt like hours.

"I'll never avoid making an appointment again."

They probably would have kept staring if it weren't for the startling knock at the door, and the concerned voice of one of the nurses that followed.

"Doctor Zayne? Is everything alright in there? I heard a lot of noise!"

[yoonieper]

For the Birds— Part 5 | JJK

I want you to stay even though you don’t want me.

♡ Pairing: Jungkook x Reader (feat. Yuri) 

♡ Genre: angst, smut, future fluff!, this chapter is pretty much pWITHp (can be read alone)~

♡ Rated: T for Tension

♡ Series Warnings: Lots of smut (not always healthy), cheating, discussions of depression, this series includes Jk in a pretty toxic environment, degradation (not the sexy kind), manipulation, and overall Jk being in an emotionally abusive situation!

♡ Chapter Warnings: spicyyyy, Jk is a bit of a dick, Y/n stands up for herself, major tension, emotions are flowing, slightly subby Jungkook makes a bit of an appearance, thigh riding (m ;D), masturbation (f), public(ish) sex, hand job, protected sex (be smart friends <3)

♡ Word Count: 17.5k

♡ Summary: As the son of the CEO at Golden Tech, a marriage was arranged in the name of business. Jungkook really tried to make the most of his situation and be the best husband he could be, but no matter how much he tried, his wife just doesn’t seem to want him. Then you… you came into his life and his eyes couldn’t help but wander.

♡ Now Playing: Somebody Else by Maxine Ashley— see masterlist for playlist! 

♡ Beta: Thank you so much to @mellowladyanchor for reading this part for me! If you’re interested in betaing a future part, dm me! If you're interested in becoming a permanent beta for this series please first click here and refer to 'details about the job' section for more details and dm for any questions you might have! Betas get early access to chapters, so if you're free to help out and can't wait for next chapter, consider joining the team!!!

♡ Author’s Note: Sorry for the delay friends! The end of last month was a bit hectic for me and then I got sick delaying me even more :') This might happen a lot more often where the schedule I have on the masterlist might diverge from when I can actually get the chapter out because college has started for me once again, so things in my life might get in the way a little more often of editing and ultimately publishing 😭 Thank you all so much for waiting, your patience, and I hope you all enjoy this different type of chapter :D Anyway, this is The Office Sexcapades Part 1 ;)

No reposting, modifying. Translating is not allowed unless given explicit permission. Thank you so much : D

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After you and Jungkook parted ways, you thought things had finally changed between you two. Maybe not entirely, but you wanted to believe you had turned over a new leaf in your relationship. You thought you had extinguished, or at least simmered, the animosity you felt for each other and something strange but new had started to take its place. You honestly didn’t mind it.

You had left the storage room with a dopey smile plastered on your face and a weird pep in your step as you made your way back to your desk. The man you hated only a month ago had managed to send you to another dimension and you still hadn’t come back yet. You felt high in the best way possible and there was some part of you that didn’t want to leave his side when you both agreed you probably had been gone too long. You even gave him a hug before you left the room, Jungkook mumbling a sweet “thank you” into your hair before you pulled away to leave.

It was all still a bit weird, but you wanted to think that this was all the confirmation you needed that things had truly changed between you two. Was it complicated? Yes, this shift was the result of an affair, which wasn’t a solid foundation whatsoever, but the change in your relationship wasn’t entirely bad. At least you didn’t hate each other anymore. 

However, you were in for a shock when you came into work on Monday.

THUNK

The first thing you were greeted with was Director Son being back (yay!). However, before you could even process his return, he was setting a mountain of paperwork on your desk. The size of the stack was far beyond a reasonable workload. It was so tall, even your coworkers could easily see it through the window of your office without needing to crane their necks over their computer screens. 

After you paid your respects and welcomed Director Son back, you finally asked what the pile of paperwork on your desk was all about because it just had to be a joke or a prank. You were ready for someone to jump out with a phone in hand laughing hysterically at the face you made that was now recorded for everyone to see.

“Beats me, I just got back today. All I know is that it comes straight from Director Jeon,” he had sighed in sympathy. You scanned the faces of the rest of the team who were standing outside your office. No one was stifling a laugh, trying their absolute hardest to make this as believable as possible. Instead, they sent you worried glances and sympathetic looks as they quietly gasped at the outrageous amount of paperwork. 

When Taehyung arrived at the office, he came up to you during the chaos of it all. “Woah? What did you do to piss him off this time?” He chuckled lightly, but you could hear the undertone of concern. 

For a second, you tried to rack your brain to see if you could remember if Jungkook had mentioned he would be sending you a lot of work on Monday, anything he said that could have possibly rationalized this. You came up with nothing. 

The details from Friday had been ingrained into your memory at the highest definition. You were practically still experiencing it first hand— every sight, sound, touch, and taste from that day. The chance of you forgetting him telling you about a workload of this magnitude was next to none. The moments you spent with him especially were vibrant; the clarity was irrefutably against the possibility of it simply having slipped your mind. At no point on Friday had he mentioned anything to you about work, or even sent you a text over the weekend to let you know what you’d find on your desk on Monday. He’d completely blindsided you.

Knowing Jeon Jungkook, there was only one reason he would assign you this much work without warning. Mr. Jeon Jungkook, Head Director Jeon, Director Jeon, or what he had urged you to call him so casually, Jungkook, was pissed off, and there was no doubt in your mind that his anger was directed at you.  

As Taehyung waited for your answer, you had to stop yourself from instantly bursting into tears. It was not just because you knew you would be stuck at the office all night because of how much work you had to do, but also because after everything you shared together, he was suddenly being a dick to you… again?

Why? What could you have possibly done to him to make him hate you again with so much vigor that he would assign you this mountain of paperwork in the middle of the chaos of Q4? Had Friday meant nothing after all? Were you just another hole he used to take out his sexual frustration from his marriage? Had those sad, round, sweet eyes and pleas been nothing but a lure to get you to agree to the affair? In any normal situation, you would have never gone along with it in a billion years. Maybe he had seen right through your guise and did whatever was necessary to get his dick wet. Maybe he was through with you, the allure was gone, the fantasy was broken, and he wanted nothing more than to punish you for your stupidity and believing his silly act. Or maybe it wasn’t so complicated. Maybe it was simply your fault for thinking things had changed between you two. 

You had to resist marching straight to his office to give him a piece of your mind, but you didn’t have the energy, time, or desire to create a scene. Instead, you took a few deep breaths, headed to the bathroom to quickly dry your watery eyes, and marched out ready to tackle the workload.

It took you all night and well into the early morning hours to get everything done. It was tedious, detailed, and you knew Jungkook purposely gave it to you in paper form to make it that much more challenging to complete. In your peripheral vision throughout the night, you saw your coworkers say their goodbyes before leaving for their lives outside the office. You even saw Jungkook himself, normally someone who stayed far beyond a reasonable time, pass by and head down the hall to the elevators before you were even halfway done. 

The office had turned dark and your eyes were strained from staring at your computer screen and the tiny font on the papers for far too long, but you saw him. You heard the sound of his fancy dress shoes clicking against the tile first, and even though you tried not to look up, you noticed him pass by through the window. You heard his pace slow down, probably just wanting to see you and relish in your suffering. You felt his eyes linger on your form, but you didn’t dare make eye contact. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. You kept your eyes on your work as his footsteps faded into the distance. You truly felt done with him.

Over the next few days, Jungkook would hardly look at you during the rare occasions you’d be near each other. It wasn’t like you had grown close anyway, but whenever you were in the same room you’d normally make a little small talk to ease the tension. But now Jungkook wouldn’t even spare a glance in your direction. He was avoiding you like the plague, so you did the same.

Also, even though it wasn’t as much as Monday, Jungkook kept choosing to be a dick to you and personally assigned you more work than reasonable every day. You had no time to confront him, but you didn’t want to anyway. For whatever reason, he wanted to be mean and avoid you instead of having some type of adult conversation. You couldn’t deal with people like that. It made it easy to want nothing more than to forget Jeon Jungkook even existed.

Maybe you really had been fooled. Jungkook had played you for the sap you were and manipulated you into sleeping with him. But as angry as you were, you couldn't find yourself able to believe that. Even though you were avoiding him, you still paid close attention anytime you were in the same room. The dark cloud continuously storming over him that you had noticed before raged with even more ferocity, still following him around no matter where he was or who he was with. The blank look behind his eyes grew worse with each day that passed. You were honestly confused how no one else had noticed. 

Things hadn’t changed. If anything, they might have only gotten worse than before. You tried your best to restrain your emotions instead of immediately believing the first theory your mind conjured up. Maybe you just wanted to believe that he hadn’t used you, but you truly wanted to hope there had been more to Jungkook’s vulnerability than just a front he used to get to you.

It took a while, but eventually you settled on the most likely outcome and assumed that he was taking whatever feelings he had about the affair out on you for some reason. You had no idea why you had to suffer for a choice he made twice despite your warnings, but it just proved to you that at the end of the day, he really was a dick. 

Whatever the reason, you really just didn’t want to deal with him anymore. What happened happened. It was in the past, you couldn’t take it back now, and he had to realize that. You didn’t mind pretending nothing happened because right now you just wanted to forget it all—  forget Jeon Jungkook, forget last week, and honestly, fuck him.

•────•──────────•────•

Jungkook was a horrible person. The certainty of that truth became painfully obvious as the days passed. He knew how he was treating you wasn’t right, yet he was still awful to you anyway. He just couldn’t be any more pathetic.

Ironically, Jungkook wasn’t even mad at you. Far from it actually— he wanted you so much that it was the very thought of you that pissed him off far beyond a concerning degree. He made an executive decision that despite what he said to you in his office, he needed to listen to his conscience and stop the affair before things got worse. How was he ever going to make things right with Yuri if he was sleeping with you? It didn’t make any sense and he knew that. He knew he needed to end this here and now. After you left, Jungkook had sat in the darkness of the storage room crying over the thought that he was making things worse for him and Yuri and he was a terrible husband. But despite everything, he still couldn’t bring himself to regret doing it. He was just awful, horrible, and truly pathetic. 

Jungkook was so eager to fix things with Yuri, but when has an affair ever been the answer or led to anything good? How was he ever going to repair their relationship if he was spending his time fucking you on the side? He would just look like the biggest hypocrite of the century. 

Jungkook didn’t hate you per se, but he hated the failure that you represented. It was cruel, he was cruel, after everything you did for him, to repay you with an unreasonable amount of work in an already busy time. It just wasn’t fair to you. You probably hated him now. And he almost wanted that to be true. It was just another way to ensure he would stay away from you and get back to what should be his priority: the marriage he was fucking up.

Jungkook had hoped it would be easy to move on if he kept you away. The stars even aligned to allow him the opportunity to focus on his wife and put the affair in the past. Yuri had come home early one evening when Jungkook had happened to be home as well.  They talked and even shared a meal by candlelight together that their chef had prepared. Sure, things were a little awkward and they only really spoke about work. Anytime Jungkook tried to bring up another topic, Yuri seemed disinterested. However, they did briefly discuss the upcoming annual holiday celebration that their families always held together and shared which of their favorite dishes they were looking forward to having, which was nice.

It was good, though. At the very least, she was tolerating his presence, and that was better than the disdain she usually had in her eyes whenever she looked at him. 

Jungkook went to bed in better spirits than he had been over the past few days. He was able to easily fall asleep, though he would have preferred doing so with Yuri in his arms. He knew not to try it and ruin their good evening. He slept through the night and would have likely missed his alarm if Yuri hadn’t woken him up. His tired eyes strained to see her straddled over his lap. The sun had barely come up, but he could see the look in her eyes as she stared down at him. It made him hot in an instant.

“Touch me.” She had whispered right in his ear. It was a command, one that ignited a flame all too quickly. He felt wanted, maybe even needed, as he hastily flipped her onto her back while he began eating her out. 

He was truly a horrible person. The whole time he pleasured Yuri, all he could think about was you in the storage room. The way you gripped his hair and all the pretty sounds you made with each swipe of his tongue. He missed you…

But Yuri was also so pretty, she always was, and when he finally brought her over the edge, his cock pleaded for her in his shorts. It had been so long, but he knew better than to push it. And he was right as always. The minute he got off her, she went to shower and he left him stuck alone in their room.

He missed the way you pulled him close after you finished. How you reached into his pants, touched him, and pleaded for more. He missed how you felt around him, how you held him in your arms while he cried. He really missed you. Jungkook had to fight every urge in his body to stop himself from reaching into his shorts for relief.

He wanted to be good for Yuri. He had to be. He kept telling himself that, but like the hypocrite he was, he finally went to the store to pick up condoms on his way to work. It wasn’t because he was preparing for when Yuri would let him go all the way, no, they were for you. He put them in one of his drawers in his desk, hidden underneath some papers, but not too out of reach in case of emergency. You probably didn’t want anything to do with him anymore, but he got the condoms anyway. 

As much as Jungkook had tried to push you away, he never stopped wanting you. Each time you’d pass each other, which was rare because he made sure to avoid you, you grabbed his attention. He thought his feelings would pass, but as the days went by, they only got more intense. His body ached to have you all over again, and as much as he wanted to tough it out, wait for Yuri, and hopefully put the affair behind him, he was weak. So weak, that despite all of his intentions, he texted you to meet him at the storage room again with the emoji you had both discussed beforehand.

Jungkook [1:32pm]: 📦 3:15

He’d been shy about it. He spent days fighting between his urge to text you and to also resist the temptation and focus on Yuri. Like she always said though, he was weak, and ultimately caved despite his efforts. 

He worried he would come off as needy and desperate, especially because of how he’d treated you, but it wasn’t far from the truth. What if he was texting too soon? What was too soon? You probably hated him, what was he thinking?!

He didn’t think you’d show up. Part of him didn’t want you to, hoping his efforts had paid off and you were done with him. But the other half of him was relieved when he heard your two knocks followed by another two knocks. 

A wave of guilt hit him the minute he opened the door and saw you looked less than pleased to see him. He knew he deserved it. He deserved you never even looking in his direction again, but somehow here you were. You hadn’t deserved any of his anger. Your presence both infuriated him and calmed his spiked nerves. It wasn’t fair to you. He was cruel.

“What?” You barked. You were mad. You had every right to be.

Jungkook felt the tears start welling up in his eyes at his conflicted emotions. He felt bad, despite his resentment of you. He truly felt bad because he knew you didn’t deserve his anger. It was he who begged to have you again despite all his concerns. This situation you both found yourself in now was all his fault. 

“Did you just bring me here to give me more work? I don’t have much time thanks to you.” You were angry, but he could still hear the hurt in your voice. He hurt you. He couldn’t stop hurting anyone who got near him…

Jungkook just stared at you with an almost dazed expression. He seemed out of it, even more so than normal. Maybe any other day you would have actually been concerned, but you didn’t want to see him, not now, or really ever again. You just came because apparently he was finally willing to speak to you again, so you thought it would be the perfect time to end whatever was happening between you two. Not that anything really even had begun in the first place. It should have ended after the first time. It should have never even started. This was a huge mistake that you knew would follow you for the rest of your lifetime.

He didn’t say anything back, just continued to stare at you. You couldn’t see him very well, but you were getting tired of his silence. Part of you thought agreeing to his request to meet would give you some concrete answers as to why he might be upset at you. What could you have possibly done to make him so mad when you hadn’t spoken since the last time you were in this room together? It seemed all he wanted to do was stare at you in confusion, and you really didn’t have time for that.

“Director Jeo— Jungkook, look, I don’t really want to be around you, so if you don’t have anything to say then—” You were ready to turn around, leave, and be done with this situation, done with him, but of course just as you were reaching for the door, you felt a hand on your wrist stopping you in your tracks. 

“Don’t— Don’t you see how hard I’m trying to do that?!” His voice was shaky, but you could still hear the agitation. You finally turned around and at this angle you could see the shininess in his eyes. 

Jungkook suddenly had your back against the wall, his arms by your side, effectively caging you in. However, he maintained enough distance between you two to stop short of being intimidating. If you wanted to, you could easily push past him.

“I’m trying to keep you as far away as possible, but you’re making it so—,” he buried his head in your shoulder, “—so fucking hard.” There was a bite to his words, an edge that told you he really was angry with you. 

Fuck him.

“I want to be a good husband— I want to be good to my wife. I don’t want to betray her any more than I already have, but—” One of his hands came down to settle on your waist. So softly, he was always so gentle. You hated the way your body tingled at his touch. 

“You’re making this so hard—” It felt wrong, but having you in front of him felt right all at the same time. He needed you, painfully so. 

“Look at me.” Your words were harsh as you roughly grabbed his hair and pulled him off of your shoulder. Jungkook was certainly not prepared for your aggression, and how it embarrassingly went straight to his achy length. His cheeks burned as he stared down at you.

“I get you have shit going on, but what you’re not going to do is have the issues in your life interfere with my career. You’re making my life hell, and do you know how that makes me look in front of my team?” You finally released all the pent-up rage you’ve felt through the years working for him and you enjoyed the shocked look on his face as he processed your words. He needed to hear them. 

“And you have the nerve to call me back in here after the bullshit you’ve put me through? You made me think things had changed, but you’re still just as petty as you’ve always been. You’re actually ridiculous.” Your anger was justified, so justified that Jungkook was tempted to just break down and cry. You were right and even worse, it was pathetic how he started to feel the strain of his pants growing tighter at the same time. Just a sad, sad human being.

Your hand then rose, and Jungkook watched as you sadistically toyed with the collar of his shirt before running your fingers down the line of his buttons, playing and pulling them lightly. Your finger finally made it to where he had his shirt tucked into his pants, then to his belt buckle, and then you suddenly cupped his growing bulge.

“Fuck!” He was way too loud, but he truly wasn’t expecting that. Tears immediately fell from his eyes, a chaotic storm of emotions swirled around in his head. He felt guilty, he was also frustrated, but more than anything, he just wanted you to touch him. As embarrassing and shameful as it was, he rocked into your hand, wanting more friction so badly. Your grip tightened, squeezing him so he felt your anger in the most pleasurable sense possible, along with the pain he more than deserved. 

“I’m sorry!” he cried, tears slipping down his cheeks. 

“Don’t apologize. You know you meant what you did. If you want this to continue, you’re not going to pull that shit and try and act like nothing happened. You’re the one who begged for my help. If you’re done with this, just fucking say it. Got it?” you spat. Gone was the unconditional sweetness you’d shown him until this point despite how horribly he had treated you over the years. He had almost thought it wasn’t possible to make you mad, how it was the only way you tolerated him at all, but that clearly wasn’t the case. He fucked up and he took in every word you spat at him. 

Jungkook hurriedly nodded. 

“As for this…” You squeezed him once again, making Jungkook silently cry out. He wasn’t sure if it was out of pleasure or pain at this point. “If you want to get off so badly, you’re going to have to work for it.” You eventually said, moving your hand away, making Jungkook whine at the loss of contact.  

You then propped your leg up against the wall and pulled him a little closer by his waist so he was gliding right across your thigh. Jungkook moaned at the sensation and pushed you further into the wall. He was embarrassed how easily you riled him up and his cheeks burned at the intimate position. What were you doing?

“Y/n…” he groaned, confused as to what this was, but you were quick to guide him. Your hands returned to his waist and you pulled him forward before pushing him back and bringing him closer again.

Oh.

It was an odd position, but one you quickly figured out he didn’t hate. You wished you could see his expression better, but the darkness didn’t hide everything. With your hands as a guide, you pushed and pulled him in a steady rhythm. His rugged breathing grew more labored and the whines he tried his best to suppress grew more pained and filled with need.

“Isn’t this what you wanted?” you chuckled darkly.

“What are you doing— oh!” he hurried out, but was cut off by a groan as you started to speed up the pace a little. 

“Mmm, you know exactly what I’m doing. You loved getting off on my thigh when we were together before. Isn’t this what you wanted after all? Isn’t that the only reason you called me in here?” If you could see his face, you would have seen how badly his cheeks were burning. His eyes were watery all over again at the accusation and the compromising position. 

It was true; it was all true. He didn’t bring you here to apologize. That would be a lie. Even though he knew how wrong it was, he still wasn’t sorry. He needed to push you away, he just had to, because if not—

“Oh!” You sped up the pace just a little more and a moan embarrassingly slipped from his lips at the change. He was so weak. 

“Say it. Why did you ask me to come here?” You had to repeat your question to let him know that it wasn’t rhetorical. You wanted an answer. 

He stumbled like it was a hard question to answer, but he knew the answer exactly. It was just the shame of it all that made it hard to tell you.

“Say it or I’ll leave,” you almost cooed, teasing as you lifted your thigh up a little further, making him cry out. You knew what you were doing. He wanted you so badly, he didn’t want you to go.

“I bought condoms— I have one in my back pocket,” He hurried out even faster— embarrassed, ashamed, and mortified at how it looked. But there was no further elaboration needed. He only brought you here to use them. He was horrible, selfish… the list went on, really.

You chuckled lightly to yourself. “Thank you for being honest, but not today—”

“But—” Jungkook rushed out, and pushed into your thigh a little faster all on his own. He didn’t want you to leave, he really didn’t.

“But nothing. Like I said, if you want anything you’re going to have to get yourself off just like this. You wanted to be mean, so we’re not fucking today and I’m not letting you touch me. This is the most you’re getting, so take it or leave it.” 

The familiar hostility was different with you than it was with Yuri. He’d found himself in this same situation more often than not, but with Yuri, it came with an overwhelming dread that he wasn’t good enough for her. But with you… Maybe he had issues— no, he definitely did— but all he could focus on was that you had given him a way out. You didn’t curse his very existence and tell him to stay as far away from him as possible. You didn’t scream or yell. You were calm and slightly sultry in the way you spoke. You were mad at him, just like Yuri had been, but he didn’t understand why you didn’t scream at him too. You had more than every reason to. Your punishment was cruel, but it was far kinder than what he deserved. 

It didn’t make sense, but in the haze of it all, all he could focus on was his desire to have you. For once, he didn’t want to think. He was always in his head too much these days.

Jungkook didn’t realize you were expecting an answer, but you didn’t need one as he responded by hurrying his pace across your thigh, a light moan falling from his lips as he finally relaxed and let go.

“Please—” he groaned into your shoulder. “I’ll take anything.” It was desperate and sad, more than sad, but he didn’t have the energy anymore to even try and pretend he wasn’t at his wits end. 

Jungkook didn’t see the way that you smiled at his words. Instead, all he felt was the way you gently pulled him off of your shoulder and lightly pressed a kiss on his damp cheek. The affection made him whine, wanting to meet your lips more than anything, to drown in you like he had been thinking of doing ever since you left the storage room last time. But you gave him no such relief as you pulled away and slowly lowered your thigh down.

Jungkook felt like he was seconds away from crying. He had agreed to play your game, so why were you pulling away? It didn’t make any sense, and as soon as you moved away he felt himself start to lose it at the thought of needing to take care of the problem you had caused all on his own. 

However, that wasn’t your plan. Instead, in the darkness, you brought your hand up to gently tuck his hair behind his ears. You wanted to see him better. Even if you were furious with him, he was still such a pretty boy. 

Jungkook wasn’t touched much, that much was obvious, so a gesture so soft went straight down to his pleading cock that was already straining in his pants. He pushed you further into the wall, his hands on your waist eager to feel and touch you. He wanted to fuck you just like this, against the wall, as you stared into each other’s eyes. The sounds he knew you would make, he wanted you—

“Mmmm, don’t get too eager,” you quickly reminded him.

“I’ll be good.” He had to be.

“You better be. Just because I’m letting you do this doesn’t mean I’m not still mad at you.” Your voice was soft and calm, almost infuriatingly so. 

“Likewise.” His tone was pained, but gritty and challenging, as if you didn’t hold all the power in the situation and could easily walk away whenever you pleased. But he was being honest— he was mad, just maybe not directly at you. But seeing you lit a fire underneath him so hot that just being here with you could melt him in seconds. Nothing about your effect on him had changed or would change. Maybe he’d eventually grow stronger to resist you again like he had over the last few years, but right now he was spiraling and he knew that. Just for a second, he wanted relief. 

You definitely weren’t expecting the attitude, but you had said you didn’t want him to lie. You tried your best to ignore the way your heart reacted knowing without a doubt now that he was mad at you. Did you feel hurt? Pain? Maybe something else entirely?

Whatever it was, you did your best not to show it and the darkness of the storage room offered further aid to conceal your wavering emotions. If he wanted to be like that, so could you.

Instead of responding with something sassy, you grabbed his hand and squinting your way through the darkness, you were able to guide him over to a table— the same table he snatched your soul on nearly a week ago. How things had changed so quickly, or rather, maybe nothing had changed at all. You could just see everything for what it was now.

You hopped up on the table and before Jungkook could question it, you pulled him close so he was nestled between your legs and the distance between you almost disappeared. You lightly ran your hands down his sides, basking in his soft sighs as your hands settled on his waist. 

“And what could I have possibly done to you to make you so upset at me?” you chuckled darkly. You knew the answer, but you just wanted to hear him say it. 

You didn’t hesitate to move him so he was straddled over your thigh. It was ironic really, his words said one thing but he was so quick to submit to you. Jungkook groaned, not even needing your help to get things started as he steadily moved himself across your thigh. 

The darkness didn’t help whatsoever with seeing what you knew would be such a glorious sight, but with the light peeking in from underneath the door, you could still make out the faint outline of his sharp features and his disgruntled expression. Your admiration was interrupted when you suddenly felt his hand lightly cup your cheek and he brought you close to rest his forehead against yours. 

“You exist.” 

You could barely hear him. It was so delicate, hardly over a whisper, but the way his voice wavered made his pain obvious. Deep down, you knew that probably wasn’t a lie or an exaggeration to get under your skin. It was clear he meant what he said, but instead of storming out like you probably should have, a wave of conflicting emotions hit you all at once and kept you in your place. 

It quickly made you remember the very reason you found yourself in this position in the first place. Jungkook wasn’t ok, and whatever he was battling with was eating him up inside and clearly winning. It was awful to watch and you couldn’t imagine what he must be going through. As hurtful as his words sounded, you found you couldn’t pull away from his soft touch. 

You let him kiss you. You had no desire to stop him anyway. He did it so well. His kisses reminded you of a fire— at times a fireplace you would sit and enjoy with a good book, and other times it was ash, the aftermath of a warzone when all that was left was destruction. This time, however, the fire was a blazing fury of passion, still burning brightly, but the aftermath seemed inevitable. While it was clear he wasn’t nearly as mad at you as you were at him, you could feel the anger he kept subdued in the way he hurriedly pulled you close. If the situation had been different, you would have thought it was a little hot. 

You finally snapped yourself out of your daze and pulled away. 

“What did I say about touching?” you reminded him, and it was almost startling how quickly he dropped his hand.

“Sorry— I’ll be good—” he mumbled as his attention turned from your face down to where your bodies met. Jungkook’s face burned. As much as his body was pleading for more, he couldn’t deny he somewhat enjoyed this punishment. The position was a little embarrassing, but as your hands started pulling and pushing him, he couldn’t say he hated the way you were handling him. It reminded him of the times that Yuri would sit in his lap and pin him down. A punishment that only made the ache worse in every possible way. Just the thought of it made Jungkook chase a little faster into the feeling of it all and pull you a little closer.

“Oh— fuck.” Jungkook practically whined at the quickening pace. The friction was good and he really didn’t need much of it to get off. Yuri had given him less in the past and he had made it work. It didn’t take very long for him to become putty in your hands. He had already been on edge before you even got here, so now—

“Y/n, please— can I— fuck—” Jungkook was struggling. He needed to be good, but he also wanted more. This position made him think back to the last time you both were in this storage room, how good it felt to be inside you— how good it would feel to do it again. It was painful how much he wanted to.

Somehow, you were able to understand his pleas. “I told you this is all you’re getting.” You were stern, but not in the same way Yuri would have been. As angry as he was at the situation, his punishment was deserved— in fact, he deserved worse. The fact you were letting him do anything at all was a testament to how kind and forgiving you were. The realization just made him feel even worse. And he couldn’t stop begging for more…

“I’m sorry.”

Jungkook was quiet after that, instead doing his best to silently get as far as he could. The whole situation made his insides feel like a flurry of butterflies, which had more than a small effect on his cock. Wound up from Yuri’s lack of affection, wound up from thinking of you despite how hard he tried not to, and wound up from the sweet, sweet pleasure from your thigh— it was enough to quickly turn him into a mess. You seemed to notice that he was starting to struggle. 

You stopped helping him, instead letting your hands fall behind you as you watched him struggle in the dark. Maybe he’d grown tired, or maybe he was too caught up in thinking about what it felt like to be inside you, but he just needed more. 

“Fuck, I don’t think I can… I’m close, but— Y/n, please—” he cried, his eyes watery. It wasn’t enough and he was honestly terrified you’d leave him at any moment. He knew Yuri would have by now. She always hated his begging and you probably did too. You probably hated him completely. He was pathetic.

Before he could embarrass himself any further, you took it upon yourself to put him out of his misery. You brought his face closer, pressing a languid kiss right on his lips. It was messy— Jungkook being so eager at the slightest touch, but it was nice. As much as you didn’t want to admit it, you were enjoying seeing him like this a little too much. So eager that he’d do anything, even ride your thigh, for the opportunity to get off. It was cute, and saying it was a little hot as well would be an understatement.  

As your kisses trailed down his neck, you bathed in his soft sighs of pleasure and tiny moans and pleas for more.

“Oh— oh—” he whined. It felt too good. 

You didn’t plan to go any further. You thought you could be content with just watching him get off and call it a day so he could learn not to pull that shit again, but your limitation was turning into a punishment for you as well. Here in his arms, it was so easy to remember what he did to you the last time you both found yourselves in the storage room. How nice his fingers had felt inside you, the skilled work of his tongue, and you had been daydreaming about the orgasm he gave you since the minute you parted ways.

Your body was hot, and unbeknownst to Jungkook, who was trying his very best to keep his hands down, you made quick work of pulling your skirt up and pulling your drenched panties to the side. He didn’t notice something had changed until you moaned into the kiss, sending a whole new wave of need over his entire body.

Jungkook instantly pulled away and from the soft glow of the light creeping in from underneath the door, he saw your hooded eyes before turning his gaze downward and seeing what was happening between your legs. It was dark, and even though Jungkook had pretty good eyesight, it was still difficult to see the way your free hand had slipped between your legs. It was easy to hear, however. You had to be soaked…

The thought alone nearly made him rut into you until he came, but instead, he quickly tried to compose himself and groaned lightly before looking back into your eyes. Your gaze was haunting in the way he knew it would follow him despite how much he wanted it to go away. The way the light reflected off your shining eyes, the slight smile on your face as you peered into his bewildered gaze— confused, yet eager for more.

“You like what you see?” you lightly chuckled, teasing. Oh, the ache.

“I—I could help you,” he stammered, begging. He would do anything. This was a curse disguised as a blessing.

“Mmm, you’d really want that? I thought you said my existence bothered you,” you laughed breathlessly. You were pleasing yourself well; he could see it from the look on your face.

Jungkook wanted to blurt out that he didn’t mean it like that, but he couldn’t. That would be a lie. Nothing you did had ever bothered him besides the very fact that you existed. You made his life complicated, and he knew that wasn’t necessarily your fault. It was more on him than you, but—

You laughed again when he didn’t respond.

“Just sit there and be a good boy. Watching you is nice. Don’t cum until I finish,” you sighed so sweetly. The nickname was unexpected, but well-received apparently with how he suddenly discovered the newfound energy to speed up his pace. He could see the vague outline of your hand speeding up between your legs, seemingly trying to match his pace, and he wished he hadn’t turned off the lights. You looked so pretty like this, even in the dark… imagine…

Jungkook was a mess, a ferocious battle occurring in his head the longer he watched. He wanted nothing more than to be good for you. He didn’t want to disappoint you, he had to be good. But there was also a side of him that wanted to push your hand aside, help you out, and serve you in the very way he knew he should. If Yuri could see him now, she would be more than disappointed, letting you take care of yourself when that was meant to be his job. Your wish to pleasure yourself was harder not to interfere with than he could have thought.

He had already struggled before when the friction was nice, but not enough. And sitting here now, watching you and hearing your soft sighs and moans, made the ache so painful he needed to slow himself down in order to obey you. He had to be good. He couldn’t let you down too.

He just couldn’t stop himself from helping out a little, though— an occasional kiss when your whines pleaded for a little more, or moving his lips downward to lightly suck across your delicate skin. Jungkook was worried you’d stop him since he wasn't entirely following your orders, but you never did. Maybe you were too out of it to notice, or too out of it to care, or maybe you even liked his little touches. It was a little silly to think about. 

It wasn’t long, though, before he started to notice some of the signs he recognized from the last time that you both were here that you were close. Your whines grew more desperate and hurried and it made him chase into you faster. He wanted to finish you off and make you make a mess all over his fingers. He wanted to ruin you.

“Y/n…” It was just your name, but it was his last-ditch attempt at asking you to let him help you. What he was met with wasn’t the rejection that he was expecting, or even something drastic like you grabbing his hand to replace your own. No, instead you pulled him into a hurried kiss. You both were chasing the euphoria of pleasure too blindly to care about remaining civil. It was messy, and Jungkook found himself enjoying the chaos of it all: tongues exploring every nook they could, teeth occasionally clashing, wet, hot need and desperation in the way you moved your mouth against his. 

It wasn’t any surprise that as your whines grew more needy, so did his own desperation. He had to stop himself from speeding up and finishing too quickly. Instead, he kept his pace as steady as he could while he watched your pleasure unfold right before his eyes, the way your hand sped up and the look on your face growing more pained by the minute—

“Oh—oh—Ju—“ You didn’t get to finish your sentence, and he wished you had, but the sight of you was even better than he could have imagined. With the way your mouth fell open and your eyes fluttered closed as you worked yourself through your orgasm, Jungkook nearly came right along with you. It was honestly a miracle he didn’t. He hadn’t needed much, but it was far more than he required to have him hurtling toward the edge. It took everything in him to stop himself from giving in. He wanted to be good for you— he had to be.

As you steadily came down, Jungkook tried his best to slow himself down. He watched you, wide-eyed, waiting for your next order, thinking maybe you had changed your mind and wanted to leave.

“Okay… You can finish now,” you whispered, clearly out of breath. Jungkook’s body didn’t allow for a moment of hesitation as he immediately got back to work. Now with your permission, he felt crazed as he pulled you into another messy kiss, his body working faster than his mind so that he could hardly keep up. He pressed into you firmly, the unsteadiness of the table apparent with how it squeaked with each move he made. He was close— so, so close.

“Where? Where should I—” Jungkook hurried, realizing any moment might spell disaster. He was hoping for some type of direction from you, his mind so out of it that he couldn’t think up a reasonable solution other than to ruin his pants.  

“Figure it out yourself,” you sighed, your eyes finally back on him, and Jungkook couldn’t help but whine realizing he was dealing with an even bigger emergency than he had thought only seconds ago.

For a second, he just continued as is, gliding across your thigh with no intention of stopping at any point. But finally, finally, he remembered the condom in his back pocket. Right!

Jungkook probably looked like a mess straining to reach in his back pocket while he also tried to keep his pace up and kiss you any chance he could. It was a struggle and many times he considered giving up, but finally he was able to pull it out and slam it on the table beside you. 

Pants— now somehow he just needs to get his pants off…

Jungkook wanted to be good, but he was losing it. He hopped off your thigh and lifted you off the table to flip you around, your hands gripping the table firmly while your ass was pressed right where he was desperate to feel you. Jungkook had to practically tear himself away from your warmth to somehow get his belt loose, a horrendous struggle of need as he kept pressing into you, making it that much more difficult to take it off. 

It was a vicious cycle of Jungkook making a little progress with his belt before the need to feel you became too great and he would consider giving up altogether, before thinking about the consequences and trying his hardest to get his belt loose and his zipper down.

Jungkook was nearing failure. He was only seconds away from giving in when finally his belt came undone and he could pull himself out, desperate to feel you. Jungkook should have pulled away so he could put the condom on, but instead he found himself pushing your skirt up and sliding between your thighs, rubbing himself along the soaked fabric of your panties, bringing himself closer to his breaking point. The condom was in his hand, ready to be opened so he could finally, finally have you, and then—

“Fuccccck!” Jungkook cried into your shoulder, tears slipping down his cheeks as his orgasm washed over him in a flush. It was humiliating and the embarrassment immediately made his cheeks burn as he steadily rocked into you, each wave washing away his problems before bringing new ones to the surface. It had happened so fast… and as nice as it felt, he couldn't help but feel ashamed that this was happening all over again. 

It didn’t take long after the heat of his emotions died down to discover the mess he made on the table. The streak of light pouring in was enough to see where it glistened. Jungkook quickly turned on the lights, feeling relieved that by some miracle nothing had gotten on your clothes. It was also lucky that you happened to be in a supply closet so you had easy access to paper towels to clean things up. 

Honestly, Jungkook was expecting you to leave, but you stayed and watched him try to straighten himself out while you simultaneously tried to fix yourself. You weren’t wearing bright lipstick today, so luckily it wasn’t smeared everywhere. And while things had gotten a little wild, your hair wasn’t in too bad of a condition and was relatively easy to smooth out.

Neither of you said a word, just working in silence until finally the time came for you both to leave. You gave him a slight smile before opening the door, which was more than he deserved, to be honest. 

After you left, the guilt washed over him all over again. He had said he wouldn’t do this again, but—

As much as he was beating himself up about it, he knew deep down that he would eventually seek you out again.

•────•──────────•────•

“Hyung, I told you I can’t,” Jungkook groaned as he stared at his dinner, which was surely cold by now. 

“All I heard was a no. You didn’t give me a legitimate reason why you couldn’t come with me,” Jimin pointed out, making Jungkook sigh for the billionth time.

Jimin had called him at an hour far too late for any type of decent conversation. Jungkook had gotten home late and had been staring despondently at Yuri’s empty chair and uneaten dinner for the last twenty minutes. His mood was down and his eyes had grown watery the longer he let his mind wander, when suddenly his phone rang.

Jimin had called to invite him to a concert that was happening in Itaewon that he was convinced Jungkook needed to go to.

“Hyung, I’m busy! Everyone’s busy right now!” It came off far more charged than he intended.

“That didn't stop you in the past! We used to have a billion things to do for work, but you’d always drag me out with you to concerts like this, saying the experience would be worth it,” Jimin reminisced.

“That was a very different time. I have a billion more responsibilities now. I don’t have time to just go out anymore,” Jungkook grumbled. 

“But all you ever do is go to work and then go home. I think it would be good for you to get out of your routine and do something different for a change. I mean, when was the last time we hung out outside of the office?” 

Jungkook wanted to have a rebuttal. It was on the tip of his tongue, but silence hung in the air as he tried to think about it. He couldn’t remember the last time… 

“That’s because I’m busy. I’ve been trying to tell you this over and over, but you’re not listening,” Jungkook rolled his eyes, wondering why they were still having this conversation. A “no” should have been the end of it. 

“I am listening. I just thought this would be something you’d want to go to. If you weren’t playing, you used any of your free time to try and be at a concert like this,” Jimin recounted. 

Normally, an invitation to an indie concert was like cheese in a mouse trap for Jungkook. No matter the obstacle, Jungkook would try and go. There was even one time Jungkook had been sick in bed all week, but he had tickets to a concert where one of his favorite bands was playing. Jungkook hadn’t yet fully recovered, but he pushed through and still managed to attend. He always spoke fondly of the memory, even though his fever returned afterwards from pushing himself so hard, causing him to be bedridden for another week.

“I told you that that was a different time. I don’t understand why we need to keep going in circles around this,” Jungkook groaned once again. His patience was being tested. It was hard enough being at home alone right now and the last thing he needed was for Jimin to try and drag him out, adding more to his already full plate. 

“And I told you it’s because you haven’t yet given me a legitimate reason why you can’t go,” Jimin retorted. And the cycle continued.

Jungkook had to stop himself from saying something he knew he shouldn’t, taking a couple of deep breaths before continuing. 

“I don’t want to go, okay! Listen to me carefully, I. do. not. want. to. go. to. this. concert. with. you.” Jungkook made sure to articulate each word carefully. It seemed like his attempt to calm down wasn’t enough as it sounded far meaner than he wanted. 

For the first time, the line was silent.

“Jungkook, I’m just trying to help you. I don’t think it’s healthy that all you ever do is go to work and go home. I thought this would be a fun thing for us to do together, a change in your routine you really might need.” Jungkook could hear the hurt in Jimin’s voice, but it didn’t quell his growing anger. 

“I do not want to go! Leave me alone! We’ve been talking for forty minutes now about this stupid fucking concert after I’ve explicitly told you no several times!” Jungkook finally snapped. 

“Jungkook—” Jimin tried to reply. But he had enough and hung up the phone.

Jungkook sighed and tried to return to his dinner. The call had no reason to go on for as long as it did. All Jimin had to do was take no for an answer and there would be no hard feelings. So why did he just have to keep pushing? To help? The last thing that would help him was forcing him to go somewhere he didn’t want to. Sure, in the past Jungkook would have appreciated the offer. It had normally been Jungkook dragging Jimin to concerts instead of the other way around. College-aged Jungkook would have never believed Jimin was the one who was trying to get him to go to a concert of all things. 

Suddenly, in the darkness of the apartment, Jungkook found himself staring into the abyss, realizing how much he had changed. He had to change. No one was the same person they were in college. He had ten times more responsibilities than he had then. He had a wife, he was director of an entire department… he had no time for anything. College Jungkook had been a very different person and Jimin had to accept that. 

But still, the longer he looked into the abyss, his eyes grew more watery. Had he really changed that much? 

From his seat in the dining area he could see out into the living room where the guitar Jimin had gifted him still sat on the wall. Not once had he gotten the opportunity to play it and he didn’t think he ever would. He had more things to think about other than just himself now. He didn’t want to make Yuri unhappy. He didn’t want to make anyone unhappy. Yet why was that the only thing he seemed to do these days? Jimin was just trying to be nice. Jungkook used to love going to concerts, so of course Jimin would try to invite him. He didn’t want to be mean, so why had he been so mean to him?

His dinner became the last thing on his mind as tears quickly filled his eyes and spilled onto his cheeks. Pathetic, pathetic, you’re so pathetic.

A cry filled the silence of the apartment and Jungkook desperately wished Jimin were here with him. 

•────•──────────•────•

Yuri had done it again. 

Despite how much Jungkook insisted and pleaded, she went against his wishes no matter how much he asked her not to. For some reason, Yuri loved making his life difficult. 

Had he truly been so horrible that a simple ask wasn’t even worth considering? That might have been it— he’d been nothing but horrible to her. Maybe she had stopped caring about anything he had to say now. He wouldn’t blame her… 

But was it so wrong to ask her not to lead him on if she didn’t want to do anything further with him? Was it really that much of an unreasonable ask? Not once— but twice in one day Jungkook had found his face flushed, thinking he could finally make love to his wife properly, but then she’d abruptly pull away, degrade him for being so “needy,” then storm off, leaving Jungkook a helpless mess as he cried. Was it so bad that he just wanted a little bit of space for the time being? 

Maybe it was. He was her husband so they should be close, but a little break couldn’t be too bad? Why did she always make it so hard when it didn’t need to be? One minute she was cold, wanting him as far away as possible, and the next she’d lure Jungkook to the point of relaxation, ready to love her, before ripping it away abruptly.

Jungkook had simply invited her to join him on the couch and cuddle. His intentions had been pure, but not even five minutes after she sat down, Yuri was on him not even five minutes after she sat down. He’d gone along with it, trying his best not to disappoint her, but he’d pushed too far when he pulled on the waistband of her shorts and that had been enough to set her off. 

What made it worse was that he knew by now that if he hadn’t been spending his time with you, venting his frustration, that he surely would have ruined things even earlier by now. It was almost a miracle Yuri hadn’t suspected anything considering how jumpy he had been before he broke down in his office in front of you. Though it didn’t even help that much— if anything, his time with you only made him want to be with Yuri in the same way even more.

Maybe it was his guilt— or rather, the lack of guilt he felt about the affair that made him desperate to make up for it in some shape or form. He had been sneaking away with you to the storage room for some time now and not once had he ever regretted it. If anything, any time he made his way there he was excited, knowing he’d feel sweet bliss in the moment. 

Once it was over though, he felt nothing. It was frightening. When he was with you it was the only time he could chase any type of feeling. He didn’t know what it was exactly, but it felt better than feeling nothing. Alone with you in the storage room, the world around him drowned out so easily. It was only for a few minutes, but it was enough. 

The next day, Jungkook did the only thing he knew how to do these days and texted you. He never understood why you answered each and every time. He hoped that the first experience would have been enough to dissuade you, but at the same time he was thankful to you for being with him, even though he didn’t show it. Your relationship was complicated, sour, maybe even a little toxic considering the circumstances it was founded in. 

“Why— why— why?!” Jungkook cried as quietly as he could as he held onto you. You both had gotten into another heated argument. Most of the time you would try not to talk to each other aside from Jungkook’s occasional check-ins that it was ok to proceed when he wanted more. This time though, with Yuri on his mind and emotions all over the place, Jungkook couldn’t help but spout a few words as soon as you walked in the room. It seemed he was taking all the bottled-up anger he shielded from Yuri and directing it onto you.

Basically, he’d questioned why you kept doing this to him. They were the words he wanted to say to Yuri, but he meant them all the same to you too. He was trying to be a decent husband and you were pulling him down further into the hole of irredeemability. Yuri already hated him. He wanted to make it work, he had to make it work. So many people were counting on him to be a good husband. How was he ever going to win her heart if you existed? Why, why were you doing this to him?!

As expected, you didn’t take his ranting very well. Jungkook was basically questioning the very nature of your existence and for some reason he thought that your presence was simply enough to force him into doing the wrong thing. It was outrageous, he knew that, and he hated what he said the minute the words left his mouth, but instead of apologizing and admitting he wasn’t having a good day, he doubled down. It was awful. He wanted you to leave. He wanted you to stay even more despite his harsh words. For some reason, you chose the latter. He didn’t understand why, but it didn’t take much time until he had you pinned against one of the shelves. 

A flurry of anger, lust, and a need that spread faster than a wildfire. You both had hardly engaged in any foreplay before he hurriedly stuffed his cock inside of you. Immediately, he burst into tears— his building emotions overflowing and spilling from his eyes. He didn’t know whether they were angry tears or sad tears. He didn’t know why he cried all the time these days. It was so bad. 

“Why are you doing this to me?!” Jungkook sobbed into your shoulder, thrusting harder as he grew close. 

“Fu—fuck you,” you spat back at him. 

“What does it look like I’m doing? Am I not good enough?” he questioned sadly. He didn’t need you to answer, he already knew what you would say. If Jungkook was good enough, he wouldn’t be here right now. He would be in his wife’s arms instead. He would be happy, she would be happy if he was good enough.  

“Fuck you, Jungkook, fuck y—“ you cursed at him as your profanity morphed into a whine. His punishing pace never faltered. 

“Shut up— please.” Not now, not when all he could picture was his wife’s disappointed face. 

Jungkook switched up his pace to long, languid strokes. The tears kept spilling from his eyes. He always got extra sappy when he was close; Yuri pointed it out all the time. 

“Why does she hate me so much? Why am I never good enough for her? Why—” He was upset, yet he knew he had no right to be. He was the one making her miserable. Things would be so much easier if he was just a little better. 

You didn’t say anything back and he was glad you didn’t. Any judgment would have been enough to send him off the edge. Instead, you just listened silently to his saddened cries as he fucked all of his frustration into you. 

Your feelings for Jungkook were complicated, but the sex was good. Very good, actually. The passion was so explosive whenever you were in a room together alone. Sometimes that passion manifested as anger, other times it was lust, and sometimes it was both, like in this case. 

It was clear Jungkook was struggling, and as much as your instincts were telling you to stay far away from him, you feared what would happen if you didn’t keep coming back. Each time the sex got better despite Jungkook seeming visibly worse. He was literally having a breakdown right now and it wasn’t even the first time it had happened. 

You tried your best to keep your emotions under control, not wanting to set him off in any way, but he was harsh towards you, and even harsher towards himself.

“Just want her to— why can’t— fuck— why doesn’t she want me?!” 

You didn’t want to pry, but his pleas already had a picture of his wife forming in your mind. 

“I— I told you— told you to please go easy on me until you’re ready, but you— you don’t want to listen to me. You never do.” His voice was hoarse and pained. These were deep, dark thoughts that he didn’t even know he had until they left his mouth. He felt sick when they did.

All you could see were the faint labels on the boxes in front of you, but for a moment you were tempted to turn around and look at him. He sounded so sad.

“Yuri— please—” he cried, holding you a little tighter.

You could only imagine he was thinking about his wife at that moment. It was a strange experience hearing another woman’s name come out of his mouth while he was inside of you. Initially, you just wanted to turn around and slap him and tell him that you were right here, but you had to remind yourself that it was his wife after all— of course that’s who he was thinking about.

“Please— please— please— oh-pl—” He was close. Really, really close. 

Jungkook’s sobs morphed into pained whines the closer he grew to the end. His thrusts grew sloppier with each moan and you helped out a little by tightening yourself around him, something you had learned was a catalyst to quickly finishing him off. The first time, you were a little too eager when he put it inside of you and he probably didn't even last a minute longer after that. And just like back then, the moment you squeezed around him he was practically putty in your hands. 

After a couple of more thrusts, he stilled inside you completely before pumping the condom full of his cum. He had nearly forgotten to put it on earlier— the heat of the moment making him act a little too hastily. His grip on your waist tightened, and for a moment it sounded like he had stopped crying. For a second, you wanted to believe that you had given him a little relief from whatever hell he seemed to be going through. 

Jungkook didn’t move for a while. Instead, he stayed close, thrusting lightly as he sobbed into your shoulder, mumbling things you couldn’t even make out anymore. You didn’t stop him, nor did you say anything. You just let him cry.

Things seemed to be particularly bad today. You had tried your best to piece it all together from the random words he slipped out. You knew it had to do with Yuri and something that she had done to him, but he never got more specific than that. Seeing how poorly he was reacting, you could only imagine how terrible it was.

He was shaking. You could feel the trembling of the hand he had on your waist, and even though he’d grown quiet, you could feel your blouse dampening with each second that passed. 

You felt the urge to ask him if he was ok again, even though you already knew the answer. You were about to ask, when suddenly Jungkook pulled away. You hadn’t been prepared for the coolness of the room without his warmth. 

You vaguely saw his silhouette move around in the darkness. You figured he was throwing away the condom, but then you watched him go over to the same table he’d often taken you on to grab the box of tissues you had pulled out of storage. You heard him blow his nose before you faintly saw him wipe his eyes and tear-stained cheeks. 

“I’m sorry— sorry— I— ummm…” Jungkook took a deep breath, his voice wavering a little too much, nearly cracking in the process. “You can hop up on the table.” 

You tried not to look too shocked despite the fact that he probably couldn’t see you anyway. You honestly hadn’t expected him to still be in the mood for that today, seeing how upset he was. But no matter how heated the moments could get between you two, Jungkook was always nice enough to help you out afterward in more desperate times like this when you didn’t finish along with him.

“You sure? You don’t really seem like you’re doing ok,” you asked hesitantly, walking over to him.

“Yeah, I want to be useful for something.” He almost sounded like he was about to burst into tears again.

“We don’t have to if you don’t—”

“I do— I want to… please—” He didn’t even let you finish before he grabbed your hand and pulled you close. You had the consuming urge to pull him into a hug or kiss his cheeks to make him feel better, or at least get a smile out of him. You resisted though, and jumped up on the table before letting your heels fall to the floor. You had nearly stabbed him in the back one time, so now you always made it a point to take them off whenever you were in this position. 

You watched with curious eyes as he dropped to his knees right in front of you. You could still see the shininess in his eyes as he looked up at you. What could he have possibly done to make Yuri so upset? You had every reason to be upset at him, yet you still couldn’t find it in you to hold onto any ill feelings or hatred. Things were just complicated at the moment. 

Jungkook proceeded to be sweet to you like he always was, leaving soft gentle kisses across your skin before you had to grip onto his hair as he sent you to another dimension once again.

•────•──────────•────•

“Y/n, what’s been going on between you and Director Jeon?” Solmi asked you out of the blue one day, causing you to nearly choke on your rice.

You had only just arrived at the table to join her and Taehyung for a late lunch. They were both nearly finished already, but lucky for you, you had brought the leftovers you wanted to finish off for lunch today. By the time you made it to the cafeteria, the lunch line had already closed. 

You told them you had been with Jungkook, which wasn’t technically a lie. They thought he had held you up because of a meeting you had mentioned in which Jungkook had emailed you wanting to meet up to discuss budget planning, specifically to get your input about salaries for the department. That had not been a lie either.

Jungkook and you had met earlier for actual work purposes to go over some important information. Director Son was out of the office for a big meeting over at another company— so you’d stepped in to fill his place. It was just that although you both had finished shortly before lunch, a lot of tension had started to build between you over the course of your meeting. No arguments were had,  but anytime you’d get deep into the numbers, he would stare at you with this strange look in his eyes.You had no idea why, as you were just discussing business, but you were so used to that look by now that you knew what it meant he wanted. 

You were just about to leave when you felt his hand close around your wrist. You turned and looked behind you and caught his sparkling eyes peering into yours as he so quietly and shyly asked if he could have just a little more of your time. 

That’s how you both ended up sneaking away to the storage room as the time ticked away into your lunch break. You had both tried to be quick— Jungkook insisting he would work fast, but that didn’t deter him from giving you two orgasms with his tongue before sending you into a third with his cock. You were still buzzing, your knees a little weak, as you hurried downstairs to meet your friends who were waiting for you. 

You tried to keep calm at her question. “Wha-What do you mean?” You nearly choked as you tried to stuff kimchi in your mouth so you didn’t have to answer. 

“We used to be down here at least once a week hearing you rant about how awful Jeon Jungkook was,” she said, imitating your voice during the last part. “But then it stopped and you guys seem closer now. Do you not hate him anymore?” she asked bluntly. Solmi had always been that way.

“Uhhh—” you stumbled, at a loss for words. “We’re not that close, really. My new position just requires us to work together more often. Do I still hate him? It’s umm— it’s complicated.” Technically another honest answer— that wasn’t a simple question anymore.

“Complicated?” Taehyung repeated, his cheeks full of rice. 

“Yeah. It was easier to hate him when he was just a mysterious figure that I hardly ever saw in person, but now… since we’ve started working a little more closely together and we’ve had some time one-on-one… I don’t know how to describe it other than it’s complicated. He’s a weird dude, and I will never forgive him for all the work he’s assigned me over the years, but… he’s also a busy guy and seems like he has a lot on his plate. He’s not so bad when you get to know him a little more personally. Again, it’s just complicated,” you sighed as you played with your food. Again, you hadn’t lied. Despite everything, you just couldn’t really hate the guy anymore, but that didn’t stop you from thinking he could be a major dick sometimes. 

“Really?” Solmi inquired after your long winded answer. 

You nodded steadily. 

“Does this mean you’re not president of the Jungkook hate club anymore?” she followed up quickly, and Taehyung joined her in her laughter. You found it a little funny too. 

“I think it’s time I retire. I’m sure there’s someone who hates him more than me now,” you smiled, but for a second, Jungkook’s words echoed in your head as you thought about his wife.

“Wahhh, I never thought I’d see the day you retire from something,” Taehyung said seriously, looking over at Solmi.

You playfully rolled your eyes, knowing full well what he was referring to. On one of the dates you went on, you told him you never thought you’d ever retire, your ambition making it too difficult for you to settle down.

“If you don’t hate him anymore, then I won’t feel bad bringing up the fact I think his eyes are really pretty,” Solmi said so quickly, you nearly didn’t catch it. 

You gasped at her words before you rolled your eyes again. You couldn’t even say anything back. You thought they were pretty too. Deep down, you knew you always had for some reason. 

•────•──────────•────•

You needed a car. That had become apparent long before you started working at Golden Tech, but it was only recently that it had started to become detrimental to your career. 

Your new position had you moving around the city a lot more often than your last one did. It wasn’t too uncommon for you to need to join Director Son in meetings with other companies, or venture out on your own to get across town. The amount of times you’ve had to deal with the challenges of relying on public transportation to get to meetings was insane. 

You finally decided enough was enough the first time you accompanied Director Son to a meeting and he offered to let you ride in the car with him. In comparison to the bus or subway, it was practically night and day, finally confirming how much easier it would be to just suck it up and get your own car. There was no stress of needing to run to the bus stop so you could make it back to work on time. Aside from the slight traffic you ran into, it was much smoother sailing compared to the times you’d gone on your own. 

Funnily enough, aside from the fact that cars and gas were expensive, you had only gotten your license just last year. Taehyung had actually been the one to teach you after you confessed to him late one late night about feeling a little insecure that you were in your mid-20s and you didn’t know how to drive. Your ambitious nature had gotten you a job at Golden Tech and the Associate Director position all within the span of just two years, but it was also what prevented you from doing certain things, like getting your license. You were always too busy with school to take the time to learn. Plus, you had moved away from home for college and going back home to Busan for driving lessons from your family during your busy schedule was impossible— or well, it just wasn’t going to happen. 

Taehyung had been kind enough to meet up on your free weekends to teach you. Once you finally passed your test, you met up with Tae to celebrate, and that’s when your friendship got complicated. He kissed you, you kissed him back, he asked you out, and suddenly you were in a “secret” relationship and going on dates as often as you could. 

But that had been over a year ago now. You had your license, but never got a car because you never found the time to start that process. Plus, you were making do with public transportation so you found no need for the extra expense. But ever since Director Son drove you to that meeting, you’d been considering it. Your income was sufficient now and you finally felt like you were ready to become a car owner. You hoped it would be a nice Christmas or New Year's gift to yourself for the great year you had had. Right now, though, you were just in the research stage and still dealing with the struggles of public transportation.

This was all to say that when Jungkook told you about a meeting he needed you and Director Son to attend with him, you ran into an issue. You somehow let it slip that it would be a little difficult to make it there in time since rush hour would be occurring at the time. The subway wasn’t a good option since it could get so crowded, making it impossible to get out of the station, and the closest bus stop to the company was ten minutes away, which with traffic meant you’d end up running minutes late. You’d already tried that route before and had had to call the company on a crowded subway to tell them that you were going to be late.

And that was how Jeon Jungkook offered to give you a ride. 

“I’ll drive you. We’re going to the same place anyway. It'll be fine.” His words were nice, yet he had a bit of an attitude. You weren’t fighting, but this was just how things always were between you two. 

It was easy to guess why you were hesitant. Being alone in a car with Jeon Jungkook wasn’t something you really wanted to do. So much so, that you actually told him you’d ask Taehyung to give you a ride first before agreeing to his proposition. You had thought you were doing him a favor by saving him from the awkwardness of the ride, but for some reason his attitude changed completely as soon as you mentioned that. 

You honestly had no idea what had happened, but suddenly he was insisting it would be no trouble. He emphasized that you were going to the same place and that it would be too much unnecessary work for Taehyung since he wasn’t going to the meeting. Somehow, Jungkook convinced you to feel guilty about asking Taehyung, and that was exactly why you ended up walking down to the garage with him on the day of the meeting.

You were both silent as you walked. It had been that way since you left his office earlier. It felt like that day all over again. And just like that day, you were greeted with Jungkook’s fancy ass Mercedes. 

Now that you had been doing a little research into cars, as you got in, you were in for another reality check on how rich he was. Not only did he own a Mercedes, but you knew some of the features you saw were crazy expensive to add on— you know, you had checked after liking Jungkook’s car so much. 

You couldn’t deny how sexy the car looked with its sleek black interior and the pretty lights that added a subtle ambiance, a little color to cut through all the blackness. It was hot, and you had to stop yourself from fawning as you looked around at the lavishness of it all. 

Not in front of him. 

But once again, just like last time, your eyes couldn’t help but to drift over to him as Jungkook started up the vehicle. He had one hand on the wheel as he pulled out, his pretty hair sitting right at his shoulders, the waves making him look ethereal. It was ridiculous how someone this good looking could even exist. 

As enthralled as you were by his beauty, the serious expression he wore concerned you and made you worried he was annoyed with having you there. It didn't make any sense since he was the one who insisted on you driving with him. You had tried to save yourselves the trouble by at least wanting to ask Taehyung if he was free, but noooo, he wanted to make things complicated. 

Instead of dwelling on it too much, you just turned your attention out the window to admire the sights and to stop thinking about Jungkook.

You had thought it would be a relatively short drive, even though the company you both were headed to was on the opposite side of the city. Director Son had actually gotten there earlier in the day, having a meeting on his own before the one you and Jungkook would join started. If he hadn’t had to arrive early, you probably would have asked him for a ride instead. 

You really hadn’t expected the ride to take that long, but once again, you were reminded that rush hour didn’t just apply to public transportation. The traffic was almost immediate as you pulled out of the garage. Luckily for you, Jungkook had insisted on leaving early, probably having better foresight and expecting the traffic, but even you could tell that traffic was particularly bad.

You wondered if it was normal, but as you looked over at Jungkook, you saw his face grow more disgruntled each minute you only moved up a little bit. Of course it was just your luck that for some reason, traffic was especially bad today.

To make the ride even more uncomfortable, the mood in the car was tense. Jungkook seemed to have some type of problem. He hadn’t said anything to you yet, but you were terrified that at any moment he would be back to playing the blame game. Maybe he wanted to bring you along just to torment you? Maybe you should have just lied and said Taehyung had already agreed to drive you? Anything to take back getting in this fucking car. 

In a desperate attempt to keep the car ride civil, you asked Jungkook if you could turn on the radio. You were a little surprised he agreed and even told you where to go on the touch screen. As the poppy chorus of the latest idol songs filled the car, it made things a little less awkward. You were focused on trying to stop yourself from singing along and keeping Jungkook out of sight, out of mind. As long as you kept your attention focused out the window, all would be fine. Before you knew it, you’d be at the company and you’d be free from this claustrophobic hell. 

But then it was your fault that you made the horrible mistake of turning your head too much, letting you see Jungkook’s displeased expression out of the corner of your eye, his eyes burning a hole into the car in front of you. 

Was it the traffic that had him so pissed? You knew being the driver would make the situation even more annoying. Hopefully it wasn’t you, or else you really would have to jump out of the car to avoid his bitching when you had a meeting to worry about.

You didn’t know what came over you. Maybe you were willing to do anything to save the car ride from turning into a fight, so you let your body act first before your mind could catch up to stop you. All of a sudden, you rested your hand on his thigh. You felt your cheeks warm up as you watched Jungkook look down at it, and then over at you. 

You wondered if he was going to say something. He looked like he was about to, but ultimately he never did. Instead, he turned his attention to fixate back on the car in front of you. 

You honestly had no idea where you were going with this. You had initially acted without thinking, but as time passed, you subtly started to run your hand up and down his thigh to try and calm him down. It wasn’t anything too crazy, but it was enough to make Jungkook look down and then over at you again. 

“I can stop if you want me to.” You finally looked over to meet his eyes. You both knew where it would go if you continued, so you thought it best to ask him if he was comfortable. You didn’t know how you had gotten yourself here, you kept telling yourself, ignoring the way you had been daydreaming about how good he looked driving. 

Jungkook looked at you for a moment and you were keen to notice the way his grip on the steering wheel tightened each time your hand moved a little higher up his thigh, and the subtle way he bit his lip the longer he stared. You hated to admit it was a little hot.

“You’re fine— you can keep going,” he nervously coughed as he turned back to the road.

He was embarrassed, still not quite used to how starkly different things were with you than with Yuri. She would never do something like this for him, let alone let him rest his hand on her thigh. He had tried once, one of the few times she had ridden in his car. He got the idea after watching a movie where the guy did it with his girlfriend. Jungkook’s cheeks flushed and he got butterflies anytime there’d be a scene of them in the car, causing him to bury himself in the blanket he’d wrapped himself with. He figured he would try it out with Yuri one day, but it didn’t go well… nothing he ever did went well. 

He was still getting used to how often you two were meeting up in the storage room. He’d only bought a small box of condoms, figuring just like with Yuri, anything more would be a waste. But weirdly enough, he was already needing to plan his next trip to the store when he realized you were nearing the end of the box. Jungkook would have been shocked if you hadn’t let him have you with less than a week in between, but you never once turned down his shameless begging, even after only a day. He could hardly keep up and he still felt guilty anytime he’d ask you. 

When he invited you to drive with him, he definitely wasn’t prepared for you to flip things around. His intentions hadn’t been impure whatsoever, he truly thought it made more sense then you needing to run off with Taehyung, right? Why should you ask Taehyung when you both were going to the same place and he had room in his car? It didn’t make any sense for you to go with Taehyung— unless, well, unless you had wanted a chance to be alone with him because you—

His mind had been racing with that thought when suddenly, he felt your hand on his thigh. It instantly took him out of his spiral, and when you started moving— Jungkook had to press his index finger between his lips to stop himself from moaning out. You started off with subtle movements, but when you noticed the way he shifted slightly to meet your hand anytime you moved up his thigh, you stopped. Your hand stayed right where his pants continued to grow tighter.

Jungkook was far too weak and sensitive to stay calm. The frustrations from this ridiculous traffic, the stress of making it to the meeting on time, and your hand on his thigh made the frustration so intense he needed to seek you out for refuge like he always seemed to do these days. 

He was hard before you even made it to the next stoplight. 

His face was warm, embarrassed because he wasn’t sure if this is what you had intended when you started, but surely you had realized the effect of your hand by now. 

He was so pathetic. He wasn’t even entirely sure whether or not he wanted to start crying or pleading for more. 

More, he wanted more. As you both sat in traffic, his mind was wandering off to imaging so many things he wanted to do. He wanted to ask for you to touch him more. He could undo his belt and zipper, and oh— he also wanted to feel you. He wanted to feel your mouth again— it had been a while since that day in his office. The very thought was enough to get him flushed in the face as it grew more and more difficult to focus. 

Every time his eyes glanced down and he’d see what you were doing, it just got worse. Part of him was absolutely terrified that someone could see what was happening if they happened to look through the window, but the other half didn’t care and wanted you to finish what you had started. 

It got especially bad when you finally seemed to notice the problem you had made, your fingers tracing over the very obvious outline in his slacks. He felt tears well up in his eyes. You hadn’t been doing enough to make him cum, but he almost wished you had been because the teasing was unbearable. He was tempted to say fuck it, and plead for you to touch him the proper way so he could feel your soft hands all over his skin, and maybe—

Jungkook had to quickly slam the brakes, realizing he had spaced out so much that he didn’t realize the car in front of him had stopped already. You both lurched forward, only slightly, but enough for his embarrassment to get even worse. 

“So-sorry!” he quickly apologized, his face somehow growing even hotter. 

“It’s fine. Did you need me to stop?” you asked, a bit of concern in your voice. 

Jungkook thought about it, and as much as he knew you should, he couldn’t find it in himself to actually wish you would. He had no shame. Jungkook shook his head no, not having enough confidence to tell you honestly that he loved the feeling of your hand and that the thought of stopping now made him want to scream.

He heard you chuckle slightly. “Just make sure to keep your eyes on the road, okay?” 

Right. If he was already this much of a mess from you touching him over his clothes, going further might cause you to actually crash. He kept reminding himself that, but the longer you both sat in traffic, the harder it grew not to beg you to finish him off. You wound him up so easily—

Luckily for him, right as things got to the point where he was seriously about to beg you to touch him more, you finally came to the area that had apparently caused the traffic jam. You were right— it was an accident. Nothing too disastrous, it just seemed like a pretty bad fender bender. Police officers had been steadily directing traffic while officials were trying to clear the scene. The minute after you made it past them, it was smooth sailing. 

It didn’t take too long afterward for you both to finally pull up to the company— apparently, they were one of the suppliers for Golden Tech. You, Jungkook, and Director Son had come to discuss terms for their services for next year. 

Jungkook pulled up to the gate that led into the garage where a security guard stopped you. You quickly removed your hand from Jungkook’s thigh, and for a second, he reached for you to put it back again. 

You pointed at the security guard. Right. 

Jungkook rolled down the window. 

“Oh! I thought it was you! Good afternoon, Director Jeon!” the security guard smiled and bowed. 

“Hi!” Jungkook tried to smile back, but all he was thinking about was your hand.

“Dae-Jung isn’t driving you today? I almost didn’t recognize you,” he laughed, looking past Jungkook and peering at you in the passenger seat. 

“No— I’m working late today, so I’m driving myself.” It was true. He was staying late today to meet all the deadlines he needed to. But he also knew you would be joining him today. Maybe there had been some part of him that knew things would get heated, maybe some part that had hoped they would. 

“I see. We were told to expect you for a meeting. Would you like for us to send someone down to park your car?” The security guard was very animated, in a good way. His energy was infectious and he seemed really sweet. If things were different, Jungkook might have taken him up on his offer considering how long you both were stuck in traffic. He could only imagine the meeting was probably about to start. 

“There’s no need. I can do it myself. Thank you for the offer though.” Jungkook tried to maintain a smile to appear not too rude, but he needed you. 

“Alright, just find someplace to park. A team member will be at the entrance to escort you to the meeting room.” And with that, the security guard went inside the little building to lift the arm up and allow you to drive through.

You were honestly a little confused why Jungkook didn’t take him up on the offer considering the time. Maybe he hadn’t noticed? Luckily, when you made it in, there just so happened to be a spot available close to the door right at the entrance. 

Once he parked, you were ready to jump out and start running when you suddenly felt a hand on yours. You turned to see Jungkook’s shiny eyes looking at you. Right, you almost forgot… 

“We still have fifteen minutes left— I would just need like, two minutes— but, uh, you don’t have to— we, um—” Jungkook was beyond flustered, having to ask. You really should run so you could meet Director Son before the meeting started, but there was no way he’d be able to go up there and face all those people feeling like this. 

You sighed. This was technically your fault. “You don’t think there would be any time to sneak off once we make it inside?” you asked, wondering if maybe you and Jungkook could find a bathroom before the meeting started… maybe? Then again, that didn't sound very smart.

Jungkook shook his head. 

Instead of contemplating it anymore, you just decided to roll with it. “Alright, get your belt off, let’s make this quick,” you sighed as you shifted to get in a better position. 

Jungkook didn’t need to be told twice as you watched him frantically tug off his belt and undo his zipper before looking back up at you with pleading eyes. Huh? He could have at least taken himself out first. But you didn’t say anything, not really having time to fight him, so you reached over the console and did the job yourself. 

At first, you were just going through the motions, trying your best to be quick about this. You weren’t even thinking about it too much until you felt his precum leak onto your palm. Oh?

“That really worked you up, huh?” You were honestly a little baffled, truly amazed at how sensitive he was. You knew you had been teasing him, but you didn’t expect him to get this turned on by just your hand on his thigh. 

“Please…” he moaned, his voice wavering slightly, making you look up and see how flushed he was. This was serious, even more than you originally had thought. 

You watched him carefully as you steadily began pumping his length, occasionally running your finger across the tip. The way his eyebrows furrowed when you seemed to hit a sensitive spot, the way he bit his lip, and the cute way he didn’t know what to do with his hands so he was just clutching anything within range… These little details had been lost in the darkness of the storage room before.

You began slowly and would have kept things going like that for a bit longer, but you both had places to be and not much time left. You quickly took your hand back, spit in it to give you some extra glide, and got back to work, hoping it would make things happen quicker. 

“Oh— oh! Oh…” Jungkook groaned, letting his head fall back. You could tell he was trying to hold back, but he was a little louder than what he usually was in the storage room. You hated to admit it, but his moans were really just as pretty as he was. You tried your best to stay focused on the task at hand and ignore the way your panties were dampening by the second. You had a meeting to go to…

You distracted yourself by keeping your eyes on the time and making sure your technique was supreme so it would go as fast as possible— twisting your wrist with each upward stroke, making sure to prioritize the tip, the little things. And just like Jungkook promised, it was only a few seconds after the clock ticked for a second time that things got serious.

“Close!” he hurried out. 

Alright— you were making ok time. Maybe thirty more—

“Wait— ughh, wait! Where do I…?” Jungkook hurried out quickly. It just dawned on you again exactly where you were. 

“Umm, do you have condoms with you?” you questioned, but Jungkook quickly shook his head. He had tears in his eyes. He honestly thought this was going to be it, that you were just going to stop and tell him to suck it up and get over it. That’s what Yuri would have done.

“Ok, we only have one option then. Hurry up and move your seat back a little.” Jungkook was confused, but followed your words anyway since there was no time to question it. As soon as he moved back, you maneuvered yourself to lean over the console and came face-to-face with his length, grasping it between your fingers. 

“What are you— oh, oh fuck…” Jungkook whined as you took him into your mouth. You tried to be gentle so you wouldn’t ruin your makeup, but you planned to make this quick. Luckily for you, with Jungkook being as sensitive and as close to the edge as he was, that wouldn’t be a very difficult task to accomplish. 

You were only able to get a couple strokes in before his hand quickly flew up to gently hold your head down— he was always so gentle— and you felt him cum down your throat. His noises turned into a mess of expletives, whines, and pretty, pretty moans as you steadily helped him through it. He came fast, hard, and was shaking slightly by the time you pulled off of him. 

That was… 

He probably looked like a mess. His hands had been running through his hair again. He had tried so hard to make it look nice, you’d even helped him out a little earlier when he complained that he didn’t know what to do with it after he’d messed with it all morning. You had been so soft in the way you concentrated on moving all his curls in the right place. Jungkook’s face had burned and his heart nearly raced out of his chest.

“You ok?” you eventually asked when you noticed he seemed kind of dazed.

That finally brought him back, realizing the time was still ticking. “Yeah s-sorry!” Jungkook stumbled, grabbing the things he needed. 

“Don’t apologize… 9 minutes…” You looked over at the clock, but then hurriedly brought out your phone to look in the camera and fix whatever had gotten out of place from your activities. Luckily, it wasn’t too bad. Just a quick reapplication of your lipstick and fixing your hair up a bit and you’d pretty much be good. 

“Thank you by the way…” Jungkook said so softly. His face was a little red, you noticed. It was one of the few moments you had these days when the tension dissipated and you were reminded of the shy boy who started blushing if you looked at him for too long. 

“It was my fault—” You stared intently at your camera as you reapplied your lipstick. “It wasn’t fair to just leave you hanging like that,” you said plainly. 

As soon as you were both done, you hurriedly got out, but then you quickly stopped him from heading to the door. “Let me just—”

Jungkook watched with wide eyes and a warm face as you worked to fix his hair once again. It wasn’t much, you really didn’t have the time to be standing here, yet you still…

“Alright, that’s all I can do— it looked so good before we left. But, huh, somehow you still look great— the messy look suits you,” you say nonchalantly as you continue speed walking. Jungkook had to hurry to catch up to you, dazed from the compliment, your intoxicating sweet scent, and the look in your eyes. 

Oh…

Part of him was tempted to say something, but he was too flustered for anything reasonable to come out.

“By the way, Jungkook, do you have any car recommendations?” you asked randomly as you both started to pick up the pace. You didn’t even need to turn behind you to feel Jungkook’s confused gaze.

“You seem like you have a good taste in cars and I was looking for— you know what, nevermind, we only have five minutes. We’ll finish this conversation later, just run!” You grab onto his hand and despite being in heels, you begin to book it. If only you could see the flushed look on Jungkook’s face as he trailed behind you. 

This wasn’t a situation you were unfamiliar with. There had been multiple meetings where you’d had to runfrom the subway station or bus stop to make it in somewhat reasonable time. How ironic was it? You thought going by car would be much quicker, but somehow you found yourself in the same situation all over again. Seriously, just your luck. 

“I’ll take care of you when we get back!” Jungkook called out from behind you. You didn’t turn around to reveal the smile on your face to him. Of course, he always needed to keep things even. Instead of responding, you just ran a little faster. 

You were going to be late at this point!

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[mxigo]

i remember everything (wish i didn't, but i do) | part 2

SERIES SYNOPSIS: logan saved the timeline, but the consequence is that he doesn't remember anything after 1973. now back in 2023, he has missed 50 years of history. including any history of your relationship with him.

WARNINGS: 18+, angst, swearing

WORD COUNT: 2.02k

MINORS & AGE-LESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT. YOU WILL BE BLOCKED. YOUR AGE MUST BE SOMEWHERE IN YOUR BIO OR YOUR BYF.

SERIES MASTERLIST | NEXT CHAPTER

The next few hours were a blur. After falling apart on the bathroom floor, you somehow were able to get yourself into the shower, albeit the water was scorching hot, and you once again ended up on the floor. It was only when the room became so hot that you couldn’t breathe did you finally shut the water off and uncurl from around yourself.

You still didn’t feel the same after changing into some lounge clothes, lying on his side of the bed and staring out into nothingness. The room felt too dark, too empty, too hollow. Even though all of his belongings were still here, it was now just your room.

Another stuttering breath left you as you realize that it felt like he died instead of just forgetting you, but he might as well have.

How were you going to explain this to anyone? Oh yeah, this Logan wasn’t the Logan that you’d come to love wholly and completely with every fiber of your being. He wasn’t the Logan that you’ve just spent the past four years with. He wasn’t the one that held you during your darkest moments, or let you shine during your brightest. He wasn’t the one that still managed to make every day a surprise.

And he won’t be ever again.

A gentle knock on your door pulled you out of your stupor. You don’t answer, but the door opened anyways. A soft shadow blurred out the hallway lights, but you didn’t have to turn around to be able to guess who it was.

You still didn’t say anything as she entered your room and shut the door behind her. Even though your back was to her, you could still see the look of pity on her face as she slowly approached you, settling at the edge of the mattress by your feet.

A hand came up and rested itself on your calf. “I’m sorry about what’s happened to Logan. I can’t even begin to imagine the kind of pain that you’re going through right now, Halo.”

“Please, Jean, I just wanna be alone,” you begged, pulling the sheets tighter around yourself.

A beat passed before she spoke again.

“I know, but friends don’t let friends wallow in misery. Besides, there’s a frozen strawberry margarita and queso from Louie’s with your name on it in the kitchen.”

A watery laugh left you, some tears making their escape as you finally sat up, wiping them away. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, Jean.”

“Probably rot away in here until the end of time.”

“Probably,” you sighed, peeling away the sheets.

It was late, so you didn’t bother changing out of your lounge clothes just to go the kitchen. The two of you didn’t run into anyone on the way down thankfully. The lights were on, and sure enough, a to-go back from Louie’s sat on the kitchen counter with your name sharpened on the side of it.

You wasted no time settling into a stool and diving into the bag, pulling out the margarita and the still hot styrofoam cup of queso, along with a brown bag of tortilla chips. Despite not actually being there with Logan, you guess this would have to suffice as your after-mission treat.

Jean had chosen the stool next to you, occasionally picking a chip out of the bag to snack on. It was quiet for a few moments while you slurped down your frozen drink before you broke the silence.

“So…Did you see him yet?”

Jean’s eyes snapped over to you, surprised that you brought him up.

“I did. He had just woken up and came into the professor’s office. He was looking around like everything was new, like he was surprised to be where he was. He still looks the same, obviously, but it’s like he holds himself completely differently now. It’s hard to explain without seeing him.”

You hummed in acknowledgement, bringing a cheesy chip to your mouth. Jean looked at you for a moment, a look passing over her face before it disappeared, deciding to redirect her focus to the outside. You were about to ask another question before you heard heavy footsteps coming down the hallway, and like a cruel joke, Logan walked past the doorway.

Speak of the devil.

He stopped dead in his tracks once he realized the kitchen wasn’t empty, back tracking just a couple steps to stand in the doorway. He was dressed in his signature leather jacket and t-shirt, holding the keys to his bike in one hand. You assumed that he just came back from a bike ride.

You brave yourself to meet his eyes, but instead of them looking back, they’re looking just next to you. Confused, you look to your right and realize that Jean’s looking right back, unblinking with a look on her face.

“Jean.”

“Logan.”

It had completely escaped you how this Logan’s Jean had been dead for years, and since he had never met you, of course his feelings for Jean had never waned after all this time. He was looking at her like he used to look at you.

Your margarita suddenly soured in your mouth, and the rest of your meal became completely unappetizing. Instantly your stomach began to roil, and all your once hidden feelings of inferiority began to rear their ugly heads. It’s only once you pushed the cup away and abandoned it to leave did Logan turn his attention towards you, meeting your eyes. It’s almost comical how fast you turned breathless and mindless, unable to think about a damn thing to say to him, but what could you say?

You mumbled a thanks to Jean before high tailing it towards the only entrance in and out of the kitchen where Logan was still standing. You kept your eyes trained on the floor while you walked, but in a moment of weakness, you let your eyes flick up to him. You expected him to still be staring at Jean, but it startled you to find that he was looking down at you with an indiscernible look on his face as you all but pushed past him.

If Jean called out to you, you didn’t hear it, focusing only on getting back up to your room to wallow in grief again. You were so stupid to think that this Logan would look passed Jean as he had in the past. She died before he ever could. So now that she was here, and he had her, of course he would overlook you and look towards her.

You never had a chance.

~

Logan watched as you fled all the way down the hall before disappearing around a corner, and he still listened as you flew up the stairs before letting your bedroom door snick shut. He let his eyes drop to the floor as he thought about your face just then in the kitchen, completely frozen at the sight of him. Your wide eyes were frozen on him like you saw a ghost, and he guessed that you sort of did.

He's brought back to reality as he heard Jean sigh, getting up from her seat in the kitchen. She picked up the leftover food before throwing them into the bag and throwing all of it away, brushing her hands on her pants. He still stood in the doorway as she approached and had no choice but to stop in front of him.

“Do you really have no memory of who she is?” she asked, letting her eyes drift up to his.

Wordlessly, Logan shook his head, dropping his eyeline to the ground. “No, but I know that I should.”

“Yeah. Listen, Logan, I know that things are drastically different for you now, and that you probably feel like you’re just floating with nowhere to go, but Halo was probably the one person that you let yourself truly attach to. And there’s a reason for that.”

Then she left, leaving Logan speechless alone in the kitchen.  He shook his head and sighed, rubbing his face as he continued his way up to his room. This was a mess. Everything was a mess. This entire day was spent trying to figure out what his place was in this new present, and he had been left with little to no answers. Sure, he still had mostly the same relationships with people with just small variances in them, but two of the biggest were completely different to him. It was still a punch to the gut every time he saw Jean, completely taken away by seeing her in the flesh when he had only seen her in his dreams. And you…he had no clue how to navigate.

While he made no outright effort to find you, he still kept an open eye wherever he went in case he did see you. He was curious to the kind of person that could have made him forget about pursuing Jean, especially since she was still alive here. You were much different than Jean, at least from what it looked like, and damn it he wanted to know more.

He had just made it to the stairwell when he heard one of the back doors slammed shut, rattling the walls. It was late and a school night, so there was really only one guess to who was going outside at this time. It took only a single look up the stairs before Logan decided to follow, dropping his keys into his pocket.

As soon as he took his first step outside, he already picked up your scent, leading out into the forest that lined the back part of the school’s property. It wasn’t hard to follow where you had been, and it didn’t take long before he came to the other edge of the forest. When he broke through the tree line, he was taken aback by the sight of a large lake spanning at least a couple of miles. The rocky shore was stunning, and the surface of the lake was so still it was almost eerie.

His head snapped to his right when a sniffle broke the serenity, finding you with your arms wrapped around your legs, staring out at the lake, but not really seeing. In the moonlight, he could see twin tear tracks on your splotchy red cheeks.

Taking a quick breath, he searched for the words that he could say to you as he approached, but you beat him to it.

“She was right,” you mumbled when he was near enough. Your eyes were still staring into nothing across the water.

He stopped just ten feet from you, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jacket.

“Who was right about what?”

“Jean. She was right about how even though you’re physically still our Logan, it’s like there’s a stranger wearing your skin.”

You picked up a rock next to you, taking a cursory glance at it before skipping it across the lake, breaking the glass surface.

“I feel like I’m wearing someone else,” he answered, keeping his eye on the last of the ripples.

Your head turned slightly to let your eyes look up at him.

“Even though I’m technically still the same person, everyone is slightly different. Their pasts are different, so they’re not the same from the people that I knew. It’s difficult gauging people because I already expect one thing, but then a curveball is thrown at me, and I don’t know what to do with it. But you, on the other hand,” he paused, letting his eyes drop to meet yours, “are someone completely new.”

You broke contact first, dropping your eyes back to the stony shore.

“God’s greatest joke,” is all you said before pushing yourself up.

You shoved your hands in your pockets and started the walk back to the mansion wordlessly, but Logan was just a handful of feet behind you the entire time. He didn’t bother making conversation, thank God, you thought, only keeping his distance as your shadow until you were safely in your room for the night.

taglist: @facelessfionna (if I didn't tag you, it's because you are either underage, or there is no age posted on your profile)