#and then start crying as soon as the google doc loads | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sunnywritings · 4 years ago

Text

you’re amusing

request: n/a pairing: pirate!dream x reader genre: angst/fluff word count: 6k warnings: fighting, bloodshed(not graphic) summary: captainpuffy’s crew raids your island. :)

extra: i spent two days writing this and it turned out to be 14 pages on google docs- please- lmao. um anyways,, you can use my au if you’d like(just @ me if you do!!/credit me), feel free to ask questions and i’ll answer and give y’all the info i have on it! :) also this is NOT edited dsifds anyways!! (i dont usually add keep readings but this is so long im sorry please-) - - - - - - - - - -

winter was never kind to us, the only things that seemed to warm us all were the bread and pastries niki made, or the fire we’d have ever night. otherwise, the town was silent, not a peep from anyone simply trying to survive.

we were close, or at least some of us are. every now and then you’d here whispered talking, most now guarded and isolated from the first attack. tubbo and tommy were the two that spoke the most to each other, tommy commonly being seen entering and exiting tubbo’s florist shop, except not always with flowers.

he’d leave with weapons now, newly crafted and made swords or arrows, shields sometimes even. it wasn’t new but it was still shocking that this is what the town had come to. what used to be a lively, social town now filled with the cold, bitterness of a half victory.

wilbur hadn’t been seen for a couple of weeks, the only signs he was still in there were the fact patrols were still being sent out. tommy, techno, and purpled all wandering the island, weapons drawn and looking out for that one boat.

‘masked raiders’ is what they called them, the members rather than the ship. the title was earned when their raid leader had become recognizable for their white eye cover/bandana and mocking smile.

no, the ship itself was called ‘ethereal fury’. led by the infamous captain puffy. legends say it’s hundreds of years old, passed on to their family like an heirloom, yet no one knew who would lead it next.

you stared out over the waters, one leg over the cliff side and the other tucked up, elbow leaning against it and palm in hand. your bow sat beside you, the bundle of arrows scattered around messily. organization was never your strong suit, but aim was. tubbo had crafted you personalized throwing knives, your initials craved into the handle.

your hand clasped around one of the knives, running your thumb delicately over your initials. glancing up at the sky, you took note of the time, pressing a hand against the ground and standing. purpled would be home soon, and you needed to check him over for wounds. he was your brother, as reckless as he was, he never learned to take care of himself.

with a sigh you walked around, picking up the discarded arrows, sliding your bow over your back. the string pressed against your front, though it became an invisible, phantom of a feeling when you turned around, hearing noise from the waters.

around another island in the distance pulled a ship, not too far away from your home island. quickly you pulled a shrinkable scope from your pocket, an intention fundy had given you to test, looking around the boat for a symbol.

and there it was, the ram horns on the front of the ship. quickly a gasp left you, from your post you ran for the watchtower. the cliff was a watchpoint and practice area, one you commonly went to.

you rushed up the mossy watchtower stairs, almost stumbling. finally, you reached the bell, grabbing the string inside and frantically ringing the bell.

it’s noise rung out, hurting your ears, yet you continued to hit it and let the sharp sound fill the island. immediately you heard the upsurge from the side, hearing the draw gate start to close and defense barriers begin to set up. techno and tommy must’ve been closing in when you hit the bell, what ironically and unfortunately perfect timing.

the cold wind stung at your skin and face as you raced back down the stairs and to the cliffside. you kneeled, pulling your bow back out and drawing an arrow from your quill. your sight was aimed down at the ship, keeping a steady aim and stare on the offensive, and enemy raiders.

the ship began to slow, and you could see the cannon windows begin to open. steadying your grip on the arrow you aimed slightly up, breathing in before releasing the arrow, exhaling while you shut.

the arrow zoomed through the air, piercing directly into the opening of the cannon. the window immediately shut on that opening, and you took out another arrow, quickly changing positions to be further in the shrubbery. loading another arrow you aimed at the pirate ship again, watching them begin to dock. the moment you saw a sign of movement you fired the arrow, repeating your breathing process. it hit against the board that let them down, bouncing off and into the waters, though you had been inches away from hitting someone's foot.

you glanced up slightly from where you had been aiming, the white sticking out against the rest of the outfit. pain shot through your lungs at the aggressive and sharp inhale you took. the leader of the masked raider’s was staring directly up at the cliffside, though not at you, but rather at the watchtower.

quickly you rolled into the bushes, back against a tree while peering out at them. you saw two of the raiders jump out, one throwing a fireball at the wooden defenses and the other throwing two potions down. their swords gleamed, even from how far back you were. suddenly, you heard a familiar warping sound.

drawing your attention over, you watched a black and red hooded figure land, glancing over the town. they stood beside the watchtower, only about twenty feet away from you. slowly you leaned a hand down, grabbing a pebble. keeping it held firmly in your hands you reared your hand back, throwing it at the shrubbery on the other side of the watchtower.

that got their attention, and you got a good glimpse of their face. a half demon, black horns prominently protruding from their forehead and white eyes. you bit your tongue to prevent any noise, pulling a throwing knife out of its sheath. it was silent for a moment before the half demon began to walk over to investigate, sword drawn.

you had to block out the noises of the battle below in order to focus, inhaling softly and slowly. tunnel vision took its effect, and everything around you became noiseless, void while you zoned in on this half demon’s back. the knife flew from your hand, embedding yourself into their shoulder.

“agh!” the half demon shouted, flinching forward and dropping their sword before spinning around, growling. clearly they were angry, ripping the throwing knife from their shoulder and looking at it. their blood was white like their eyes, and while they seemed focused on the throwing knife you drew the dagger you had strapped to your thigh.

from where you were you could hear the half demon’s breathing, before their gaze flickered to the shrubbery you were in. your eyes met, and before you realized what you were doing, you had sprung out of the bushes, lunging at the half demon.

their grip on the knife changed, clasping tightly around your throwing knife. while you swung to the side in an attempt to hit them, they swiped at you. the knife clipped your shoulder, but you had managed to slash across their leg.

you rolled away, on your good shoulder, the adrenaline numbing the sting from the wound. the half demon took a step back to look at you, seemingly unfazed from the wound. they slowly took steps towards you, while you stood there, shifting your feet into a fighting stance.

suddenly they rushed at you, stabbing the knife down at you. your knife raised, meeting the knife in the middle. while you both struggled to push the other knife away, you rose a foot, kicking the half demon in the stomach. they flinched, gasping while being kicked back.

your throwing knife dropped, and while you quickly moved, ducking to pick it up, the half demon threw their own knife at you. it landed in your shoulder, which brought a gasp of pain from you.

glancing over, you saw the half demon running at you again, sword drawn, having picked it up when they were kicked away. you stared, rage now burning in your stomach. when they took several swipes at you, you managed to duck or back away from the strikes. when the barrage of hits ended you swung forward, slamming the handle of your knife into their head. the half demon got knocked down, and before they could get back up again, you slammed into their stomach. you hit the handle against their head once, twice, and finally three times before they were down for the count.

standing up you inhaled shakily, reaching a hand up and ripping out the knife. you gasped again, stifling a cry of pain by biting your lip. tears burned in your eyes before you rolled the half demon over, slowly taking all their weapons. you hesitated before grabbing the half demon by the back of the hood, dragging them over to the watchtower. you propped them up against a wall inside, leaving their practically emptied bag there.

new sword in hand, you walked out, the pain slowly returning from your dying adrenaline. returning to the cliffside over town, you stared down at the battle, panting softly. the battle reigned on, techno fighting the masked raider’s leader, tommy fighting the one that started the fire, and purpled fighting the one that splashed potions. from what you could see the battle was in the town’s favor, philza even shooting arrows down from above the town’s biggest building, the townhouse, where wilbur, fundy, and philza all lived.

with a sigh you readied yourself to go down the cliff, shaking out your arms, not without a spike of pain in your left one. slowly, you used your heels to ground you to the earth, sliding your way down without hurting yourself too badly. scrapes now littered your hands when you hit the ground, quickly running into the town.

the battle was louder now, metal clashing against metal and the sounds of the crackling fire. you ducked beside the bakery, peering inside for niki.

when you looked inside you saw her behind the counter, the traveler jack inside with her. they seemed to be talking, jack gesturing to the battle outside while niki shook her head. she saw you, pausing before waving. jack turned to look at you, scowling, which seemed to be his natural expression. you waved back before looking back at the battle, huffing.

the fire was spreading uncomfortably close to the townhouse, though philza seemed fine from above. it was fundy you were worried about, less than about purpled but still worried. the fox hybrid had been taught to fight, but hadn’t completed his training, and was even a few years older than purpled. he’d been babied for so long by wilbur that he hadn’t gotten the chance to train.

glancing around at the battle, you made sure all of them were distracted before running, sprinting across the open field. the clinking of the swords grew louder as you ran past them. unfortunately, the moment you got close to the townhouse, you heard the loud sound of cannon fire. the noise pierced the air, a ringing noise now sitting in your ears as you watched the cannon ball hit directly into the townhouse.

“no!” you screamed, voice cracking. the impact knocked you off your feet and threw the sword away from you, though you scrambled back up, you were forced to watch the townhouse crumble and fall. philza managed to swoop down with his wings. “phil, fundy’s still in there!” you shouted at the advisor, who paused with wide eyes.

“get him! i need to help techno!” he shouted back before dashing off, not even giving you a chance to rebuke. you exhaled heavily before running into the burning remains of the townhouse, roughly scrambling through while coughing from the smoke.

lifting the broken wood, “fundy! where are you!” you shouted, coughing afterwards. faintly you heard him call back, a weak ‘help!’ from within the rubble.

dashing over, you quickly began to remove the wood, ignoring the sting from the fire. it burnt your skin, licking at it to create new wounds while you simply continued to move. finally you found the fox hybrid, grabbing his hand and pulling him out. his fur was burnt slightly, tips singed. you put a hand on his head, forcing him to duck with you. “c’mon! this place is gonna collapse!” taking hold of his hand you rushed fundy out of the building, with him stumbling behind you.

when you both managed to get out, only a few moments later did the building groan, the rest finally collapsing. your hands shot to your knees, crouching while you coughed aggressively. fundy pat at your back, covering his own cough with an arm. “thank you.” his voice was hoarse, yet almost broken sounding. you glanced up at him, nodding before walking a little bit away. picking up the half demon’s sword, you handed it to fundy. “protect yourself.” even your voice was hoarse, strained from the smoke and coughing.

he nodded at you before both of you turned to the battle still raging on. ringing set in your ears again, the pain coming back like a tsunami. you winced, crying out in pain before collapsing to your knees. burn wounds littered across your hands and upper arm, the stab wound to your shoulder not doing any better from the ash that now rests atop it.

your breathing had become labored, shaky on top of that. fundy rummaged through a he had, taking out a healing potion. he kept a hand on your back, “tilt your head back.” you glanced over at him before doing as told. the fox hybrid pushed the bottle to your mouth, pouring half of it for you to drink. you gulped it down like it was water and you were going through a drought. leaning your head back forward, he drank the rest of the potion. “thank you.” you muttered, able to feel the energy returning to your body, watching the burn scars fade slightly and feel the stab wound stop bleeding and scab over.

he hummed, removing his hand quickly after that while discarding the bottle. “now let’s get back to this battle right?” fundy grinned, one of his fox ear’s flicking. you smiled back up at him, standing up and taking out your dagger. “we got some raiders to beat the shit out of.”

together, you rushed towards the battle, though fundy diverged from you, running to philza. you kept running straight, sprinting to where purpled was fighting, though his opponent’s back was to you.

just as you were above to slash at him you heard the call out, “george! behind you!” it came from the one tommy was fighting.

the one now known as ‘george’, spun around, swinging his sword. you ducked back, sword swiping over your stomach and head. you spun, pressing your hands off the ground and kicking him into the stomach, knocking him back towards purpled. while you landed your brother slashed george in the side, rearing a hand back and punching him square in the face while he was in shock.

his glasses crumbled to the floor, now broken, blood dripping down after it. he gasped, and while you moved around george to purpled’s side you could see why. george’s nose had been broken from purpled’s punch, and your brother still wasn’t letting up. purpled landed another punch into his gut, shoving george back again. the enemy raider let out a small fry of pain before punching back at purpled, hitting him in the shoulder.

it was slow motion when you watched the raider’s leader appear behind george, and as george ducked, the leader’s sword swung towards purpled. you dived forward, knocking purpled out of the way. the sword hit empty air while you stood back up, glaring at the masked raider. their head turned to stare at you before one of their hands rested on george’s shoulder. george glanced at the leader before running off into the battle.

you stared at the masked one, or the bandana, shifting the grip on your dagger. right now you really wished you hadn’t given fundy that sword. it was silence between you two before he bolted forward, swinging at you. you backed up, ducking and dodging his rapid swinging.

purpled shouted, “catch!” you glanced over only for a second, dropping the dragged and catching the sword, spinning on your foot and clashing your swords together. the clink rang out, the renowned, mocking smile forming on the leader’s expression.

you stared flatly, glaring before smiling. the masked leader paused when you smiled, quickly spinning around and hitting purpled’s dagger away. with his back turned, you slashed down it, cutting through his shirt and drawing blood.

the masked leader paused before aggressively swinging at him, pivoting and slashing the blade at you. you bounced his blade off, taking steps back while he took steps forward, making aggressive slashes at you.

the tip of his sword hit you every once in a while, making shallow cuts first to your arm and then one to your chest. finally something intervened, though it definitely wasn’t what you hoped for.

“stop the fighting or he’s fucking dead!” the fire started called, sword to someone’s neck. you and the masked raider both paused, looking over. fundy was beaten up, bleeding from his lip and nose, slashes made down his arms and a couple on his legs.

you gasped, “fundy-“ your voice started, but before you could move the masked raider’s sword was put in front of you like a wall. slowly you looked over at them, staring with wide eyes. purpled came to your side, weapon discarded and glaring up at the masked raider. “back up.” he commanded, but his demand fell upon deaf ears.

the masked raider continued to stare at you while one of his companions shouted, “drop your weapons and give up! one fucking arrow or knife comes at me and he’s gone!” the sword moved closer to fundy’s neck, who managed to hold his head back slightly, his eyes wide, mouth tightly closed, and arms drawn in.

“let him go-“ your voice was quiet at first, before your fist nestled around the grass below you, though it was practically dead. “let him go!” you shouted, voice breaking halfway through, tears finding their way to your eyes. “he’s just a teenager how the fuck can you do this! you’re threatening to kill us for what? greed! fucking satisfaction you sick fucks!” you continued to scream, even when the masked raider moved his sword closer to your neck.

tears spilled over your eyes, “if you’re gonna do it then fucking do it! but leave him alone! fuck off! we’re a small island! a fucking family that you made distrust each other from the first attack! what’re you gonna do? stab me?” you reached up, grabbing his sword and bringing it to your neck. your grip was tight enough to cut your hand, blood dripping down the blade. “do it then you fucking sick prick.” from behind the bandana you could feel them staring at you, as if actually contemplating it.

their sword dropped as they walked forward, crouching down and grabbing you by the collar of the shirt. they smiled, “drop the fox!” they called, holding an amused tone of voice. “we’re taking this one.” as they spoke they hoisted you up, lifting you slightly off the ground. you squirmed, and as much as you hated it you had to accept they were stronger than you.

“no you aren’t!” purpled shouted, swinging the sword you had discarded towards their arm. another sword intervened, but not by who either of you expected.

wilbur scowled at purpled, pushing your brother away. “stand down purpled.” he ordered. purpled opened his mouth to speak, but wilbur didn’t give him the chance. “you heard me.” he glared before looking over at the masked raider.

“leave.” was all he said, turning his back on the masked raider, walking across the burnt town-square and over to where fundy had been dropped.

the masked raider tossed you over his shoulder, where you wiggled, hitting at their back while cussing bitterly. the raider who had started the fire was handed a pouch of gold while wilbur took fundy, leading the fox hybrid away from the raider.

the raider whistled, “and thank you-“ the masked raider shouted after a moment, “sapnap! c’mon we don’t have time for this!” they called. ‘sapnap’ groaned, rolling his eyes before going along. “and see you all another time!” he mock bowed while the masked raider walked up the board.

you hit at their back with closed fists, wiggling. “let me go!” your voice echoed, screaming, though no one listened. no one in the town could look at you, the only ones who did make eye contact were purpled and techno, one who looked regretful and the other looked guilty. both were wounded, techno more so than purpled, before they were gone from your sight.

the board was hauled onto the ship when sapnap got back on, george and the half-demon getting their wounds tended to as you were set down. the masked raider set you down against a pole while the boat got moving. feeling the boat lurch forward, you moved with it, wincing when your head hit the back of the pole.

your eyes closed, biting your tongue before opening your eyes. when you opened them you saw the captain staring at you, ram horns decorated with gold jewelry. you yelped, trying to flinch back even further from the captain.

alas, that did nothing as she only grew closer. you shut your eyes tight, tucking your chin and grabbing onto your own wrist tightly. the feeling of a hand on your chin brought back all your fear, and it only worsened when you were forced to look up, opening your eyes out of shock. she stared down at you, studying your expression and how you reacted. you were forced to stare back, and your fear mixed with anger burned into your eyes and stomach, boiling like a geyser.

“good job dream, now we have leverage.” she hummed, smiling. “welcome to ethereal fury.” captain puffy stared down at you before letting go, simply taking a few steps back. her sword shifted as she moved, and with a snap of her fingers you were being picked up again, this time by strangers. ‘dream’ seemed to be the masked raider, who stood beside the captain.

the new people holding you were up some not out on the battlefield, you assumed they were behind the canons or simple helpers. one was a half endermen and the other looked more dead inside, and bored, than sapnap did behind dream.

“now i find it awfully impressive you managed to take down bad,” that sentence got the half endermen to tighten their grip on you, “but i’m not all that happy you did it to begin with.” puffy turned to look at you, unsheathing one of her daggers. “now you can either tell us everything about yourself and the island,” the tip of the dagger pressed against your lips, applying pressure on your lower one, “or you can decide to not speak at all.”

your jaw fell loose, and the light pressure applied to your mouth made it fall open slightly. the cold of the blade shot through your head, the metallic taste was a bitter reminder of what was happening. she removed the knife after a moment, to give you the opportunity to speak.

you looked up at her slowly, glaring. “your men tried to kill one of my friends,” your voice was low, words slow, “so frankly, you can suck my fucking dick.” a smile drew onto your face, “because at least mine is bigger than half your men’s.”

puffy stared back at you, and while the fear and loss of confidence dwelled in your stomach, you were determined to keep staring back.

finally, she laughed loudly as well. your expression and body slacked at the noise, eyes widening. “that’s a good one kid, a good one.” puffy leaned slightly down to look at you, smiling. “you’re amusing, so full of spite it seems.” she stood back up, sheathing the knife. “i like this one.”

dream rose a brow before scoffing, him and sapnap walking over to george and ‘bad’. “release them.” puffy ordered, which got everyone’s attention.

slowly you were let go, you stretching by rolling your arms, though you winced right after. your arm was still sore from where bad had stabbed you. hesitantly you glanced around, unsure of what to do now that you were let go, though puffy brought your attention back to her. “alright kid, now you’re not one of us so don’t get the wrong idea, but you’ll definitely have to stay in the cell for a couple of days.” those words brought your scowl back.

“well if your so-called dream hadn’t insisted on taking me you wouldn’t have to worry about me.” you grumbled. puffy laughed again, though it sounded more mocking this time.

puffy grabbed you by the wounded shoulder, tugging you over. her nails dug into your wound, which made you wince out of pain, biting your lip and whimpering slightly. she let up on her grip, though she still dragged you down into the bottom of the boat, through a staircase. down there was one guy cracking jokes and the other laughing. the one making jokes was in blue, a scar down one of his eyes, and the other was in a colorful outfit, goggles on top of his head and a book in hand.

you stared at them for a moment, and eventually they both looked over at you, pausing in their conversation. puffy continued to tug you forward, and as you passed them they both returned to conversation, though more hushed this time.

when you looked forward again you saw puffy pulling you towards a cell, which was quickly opened with one of her keys. you inhaled sharply when she pushed you inside, landing on your side.

you sat up as puffy spoke, “now if you behave for a little we might consider letting you join, or return to your companions.” she locked the door again, spinning the key. quickly you went to the bars, shaking them a couple of times. you knew it was futile, only the width of your arm could fit between those bars.

moving back in the cell you sat against the wall, sighing while tilting your head back. this was gonna be a long few days wasn’t it.

- - - - - - - - - -

you woke up to the sound of the cell door opening, jolting up. pain shot through your shoulder when you sat up, staring with wide eyes at the door. dream stood there, bandages and gauze in his hands. he stared at you before clearing his throat, “puffy sent me to clean your wounds.” the raider muttered, walking towards you.

before he could reach you your back had hit the wall, distrust dwelling in your stomach. dream’s posture was slack, relaxed and unafraid, clearly he didn’t take you as a threat for now. no words were spoken as you slowly turned, huffing while showing him your back first.

the sound of him sitting down was the only noise in the cell, besides hearing your own breathing. when he stopped moving the noise of his breathing became clear as well, and oddly your breaths had been in sync. you flinched when a rag touched your shoulder wound, clearly he had doused it in gauze to clean and disinfect it. he stopped moving for a moment, waiting before slowly wiping the rag down the cut. it wasn’t necessarily long, just a deep stab in your shoulder, which hurt like all hell.

after a moment of repetitive wipes to the wound, he removed the rag, using his other hand and tugging your sleeve down. you bit your lip to distract yourself, fidgeting with your hands. “lift your arm.” his voice was surprisingly soft, calm to an extent. you did as instructed, wincing, though all he did was begin to wrap the bandage around your shoulder. he lifted a hand, gently pulling your arm down after he’d looped the bandage around the front, pulling the rest down onto the flat of your wound.

he cut the bandage off, though his other hand stayed on your arm for a moment longer before he removed it. you shifted, turning around and holding your arms out. the gauze rag he had used was tainted with a light red, though he still used it to clean the shallow cuts to your arms. his hands moved slowly, and you watched him work, closely studying his expression, or lack thereof, and his hands.

when he finished bandaging your arms his head tilted to look you in the face. silence settled between you two, only the sound of your breathing filled the room.

“why’re you listening to puffy and helping me?” your voice came as a surprise to even yourself, having blurted out the words.

dream only stared back before a smile formed on his expression. “puffy was right. you are amusing.” his tongue clicked, raising a hand and pulling his bandana back. piercing, green eyes stared at you, bright somehow even in the darkness of the cell, a taunting, yet charming smile painting his face. “i’m glad i chose you over the fox.” dream’s words were practically purred out, voice filled with amusement. you couldn’t help the small blush that spread to your face, both from his eyes and sudden change in voice. “try and get some more sleep doll, we have a long couple of days to go.” he leaned towards you, grinning before patting the top of your head.

the bandana returned to cover his eyes after he gathered the gauze rag and bandages, walking out of the cell and locking it. you stared wide-eyed at the spot he once sat at and the cell door. a sharp breath left you, one you didn’t realize you were even holding. who the fuck was this raider? and who did dream think he was to do that to you? but most importantly, what did he mean?

- - - - - - - - - -

dream had visited you a couple more times over however long it had been. mainly he had been bringing you food and water, his excuse was always, ‘puffy sent me down to do this’. the more he used it the less you cared, you were tired of that excuse, you just wanted to know what he saw in you that had him coming back.

on the brighter side, you had met a few of the other crewmates. quackity and karl were the two you had passed before below deck, they seemed fun and even cracked jokes with you despite you being in a cell. they had made you laugh for the first time since you got here, it was refreshing too. you had also met ranboo, the half endermen, and punz, the one who had looked dead inside. though it was more you had heard his name was punz, from ranboo who had been coming down to check on some storage.

anytime you tried to ask how long you’d been down here you never got a certain answer, just an ‘uhhh’ and then a shrug, or being flat out ignored. at this rate you were tempted to shimmy out of the bars and see if there was a window you could jump out of. it felt like you could swim to shore with how long you had been cooped up in here.

you heard his footsteps again, he had come by enough for you to recognize them. turning, you looked at the cell door, focusing back in, seeing dream walking. something hopped in your stomach, seeing him carry a tray of food and a glass of water.

he opened the cell door again, “puffy had me-“ you interrupted him, “oh quit the fucking excuse, if you’re gonna bring me something at least tell me why you’re coming.” dream looked mildly shocked you had snapped at him, shoulders stiffening.

his jaw clenched while he set the food down, water beside it. you grabbed the food, picking up the bread and biting into it. cold as always, “well? you gonna talk or you gonna keep shoving your head into your ass?” you swoop your hand in a vague ‘get it going’ gesture.

dream paused again before laughing, sitting down. “i’ve always been interested in you. since that first raid we pulled on your island,” he started, while you slowly continued to eat, “when we lost and were retreating you didn't shout in victory like the other island protectors did. you turned around and helped the others of your island, checked on them, made sure they were fine, and began to help set up housing for those who had temporarily lost it from our cannonballs.” his words slowed considerably, pausing to breathe.

another smile formed on his expression, though not a mocking one, “something about you drew me in, something i can’t explain.” dream undid his bandana, resting it on one of his crossed legs. he leaned forward and towards you. his eyes scoured your expression, looking for something, which had developed a look of mild shock. you didn’t think he paid that much mind to you before they had taken you.

he leaned back, standing up and tying his bandana back on. dream offered a hand out, “your days in the cell are up.” a grin split across his expression when you took his hand, stumbling after pulling yourself up. “oh doll, you’re gonna love it here.”

dream led you out of the cell, careful to support you to avoid you falling or stumbling, even as you climbed the stairs. the daylight burned you eyes when you saw it again, squinting up at the clouds before glancing around. the crew had all gathered by the stairs, puffy in the front.

you paused to glance at dream, who was still grinning, before looking at puffy. she was smiling, taking strides towards you. the ram hybrid stared down at you for a moment, letting the silence ring out before she spoke.

“we want you to join ethereal fury.” puffy offered, “we all here believe you’d fit right in with us, training as a team, close as a family, and forming a bond with everyone here.” the ram hybrid hummed, finishing her small speech.

silence sat between you two again, the only noise was the waves rocking the boat. dream’s grip on your shoulder tightened slightly, but not as to intimidate you into joining, more of anticipation.

a small smile formed on your face, “sure.” why not try it? you’d probably return home eventually anyways, right? the crew burst out into cheers, karl running at you and pulling you into a hug, “welcome!” he shouted, shaking you slightly.

they were so trusting of you. but why? they’d barely known you, didn’t know if you’d say yes to joining. it made no sense to be this trustworthy.

dream pulled you away from karl, pulling you into a tight hug while quackity shouted something about getting the tequila and rum out. “welcome to the team, glad to have you here.” he shifted back slightly, using a hand to tilt your head up and kissing your forehead, smiling. a blush rapidly spread across your face, eyes widening slightly, and your posture and expression momentarily falling slack.

maybe this was the start of something new, a good new, and frankly? you couldn’t wait to see where it led.

121 notes · View notes

bakugotrashpanda · 4 years ago

Note

can u do a Dabi x Reader x Hawks lemon? reader walks on them making out and she they punish her for not asking before opening the door?

Interrupted

Dabi x Hawks x Reader Word Count: 1161

!!: 18+, sex

A/N: I did this on mobile and google docs has been a 🐝 with autocorrect so excuse any errors!

Dabi breaks the silence. “Didn’t anyone ever teach you to knock?”

Walking in on your two fuckbuddies with their tongues shoved down each other’s throats was not what you thought you would walk in on.

“I didn’t think-” you start.

“That’s right, you didn’t think. You interrupted.” Dabi pulls Hawks closer to him and sends you a seething glare. “Were you hoping to steal him away and have fun with him?”

“No,” you try to explain.

“Get on your knees,” Dabi says, not interested in your excuses. He stands and removes his belt. You eye the black leather cautiously. “Hands behind your back.”

Working quickly, Dabi forms the belt into restraints and cuffs your wrists. It’s tight enough that you can’t wiggle out of them, but doesn’t cut off your circulation.

“Hawks was about to suck on this when you came barging in,” Dabi smirks and pulls out his cock. A bead of precum glistens against the head. Dabi lazily pumps himself and smears it as he keeps talking. “You’ll do it now.” Knowing how he gets if you keep him waiting, you obediently open your mouth and take him in.

Your tongue swirls around the head of his cock, salty precum spreading across your tastebuds. Your head bobs shallowly as you slide him in and out. Not satisfied with the pace or how much dick you were taking, Dabi’s hand cups the back of your head and he pushes in deeper.

Warm metal rubs against your tongue as he thrusts in and out of your mouth.

“Just like that,” Dabi groans, pulling you further on his cock. Nose pressed against his skin, Dabi holds you there for a moment while you gag around him. Spit pools in your mouth and drips onto Dabi’s hips, but he doesn’t seem to mind – or notice.

Spots fill your vision as your breath runs out. You struggle against Dabi’s hold which only makes him

“Dabi,” Hawks warns.

“Fine,” Dabi snaps and pushes your head away. Sweet relief and oxygen flood your system. Hawks rubs his hands up and down your back while you cough and catch your breath.

“I wish you could see yourself right now,” Hawks murmurs and runs his thumbs across your cheeks. They’re suddenly cold and you realize tears leaked out at some point. “You’re breathtaking.”

Tears, spit, and a jaw that hangs open while you draw ragged breaths. And that’s what he considers breathtaking.

Hawks drops his pants and spits in his hand before fisting his dick a couple times. Dabi picks you up off the ground and holds you, your back against his chest. Warmth radiates off him, a kind of warmth that would be comforting on a cold day. The gesture is anything but caring though.

Thumbs hook into your pants and pull them off completely. Dabi holds onto your knees and spreads them. You’re left bare for Hawks to stare at.

Hawks ruts into you, his dick sliding against your entrance.

“This is what you wanted, isn’t it?” Dabi growls in your ear, “You wanted to be used by us?” You whimper but don’t reply. You know your arousal is evident, but you still have your pride. You won’t beg.

Hawks slides one lubed up finger inside and caresses your walls. His golden eyes hold a glimmer of mischief. He’s not going to give you what you want easily.

“You know where we would be,” Hawks says and adds a second finger.

“And you thought you could just stumble on us and get what you want?” Dabi goads you, “Not likely.” Hawks’ fingers hit a sweet spot inside you. Instinctively, you grind down on his hand to chase the fleeting feeling.

“I don’t think so,” Hawks pulls his hand away. Pinned against Dabi’s chest, there’s nothing you can do to relieve the ache deep inside.

“You don’t deserve it,” Dabi snarls, “Not until you say it.”

“S-Say what?” you stammer. Hawks teases your entrance just lightly enough to not ease your need.

“You know what,” Hawks smirks, “That you were hoping to find us, that you wanted to be here.” Hawks backs off again and you’re left empty, bare, and wanting.

“I wasn’t,” you argue.

“Oh well that’s a shame,” Dabi drawls, “You’re going to be stuck like this for a while then.”

The two men methodically tease you a while longer. So long in fact, that by the end of it, your nerves are on fire and you’re delirious. One hand managed to sneak free of the makeshift restraints and somehow wound through Dabi’s hair. A fine layer of lube and precum leaks from your entrance and covers Hawks’ rock-hard dick. The only sound is a broken whine coming from you.

“Fine!” you cry out when the teasing becomes too much. You could burst at any moment, but Hawks and Dabi know better than to give you what you want. “I was looking for you two! I wanted it! Now fuck me!”

Dabi scoot back on the bed and turns you over so you’re facing his stomach. Turquoise eyes meet yours.

“Unless you want to choke again, you know what I want,” Dabi says lowly. You nod and take his length into your mouth. You feel Hawks line himself up and press into you. He stretches and fills you in a way you crave and has you moaning around Dabi’s cock.

Dabi guides your head up and down roughly while Hawks fucks you from behind. You can feel your release building deep inside you. All the teasing from earlier leaves everyone’s fuses short.

Hawks’ dick hitting you in just the right spot has you coming quickly. Stars dance in your vision as you let the sensation wash over you. You’re vaguely aware of the two other cocks pumping in and out of you to chase their own release.

Hawks follows shortly from you clamping down on him, and shoots his load inside with a grunt. Dabi fucks up into your mouth, and soon the salty, bitter taste of his seed explodes into your mouth.

You lay on top of Dabi, ass in the air and cum dribbling out of you from both ends, while you catch your breath. The bed dips and Hawks tucks in next to Dabi, his hand tracing circles on your back.

With a groan, Dabi rolls you off him and onto Hawks. No time for niceties.

“Next time wait your turn,” Dabi says and removes the belt from your wrist. Tucking himself back into his pants, he turns and walks out of the room.

“Or don’t,” Hawks kisses your forehead gently once Dabi’s gone. He takes a seat behind you and holds you close. What Dabi lacks in aftercare, Hawks more than makes up for it.

Red wings effectively cut the two of you off from the rest of the world. “You rile him up in a way that makes everything more fun.”

“I try my best,” you say smugly.

#dabi x hawks x reader #sexy times #btp asks

174 notes · View notes

thirdtimesthecharmsworld · 4 years ago

Text

Umbrella Academy Fanfic

Preface: I’m a big fan of Dead Like Me, the 2003 tv show created by Bryan Fuller. This fanfiction I’ve written is pretty much a crossover between the two universes, but with my own original character instead. It’s a bit convoluted, story-wise, so I apologize in advance if you read this and it doesn’t make any sense. Also, I wrote this in the span of a month, and there are multiple parts. I’ve decided I can’t keep it locked it up in my Google Docs anymore so here you go.

PS: This is the first time I’m posting anything I’ve written on here, so I’d actually appreciate any constructive criticism anyone may have!

As many times as I’ve done this, the young ones never sit right with me. Their big doe eyes always seem to pierce my soul. If I even still have one.

There were surprised gasps at first. Then silence. The room we are gazing on is covered in blood. And after the scene I just witnessed, I wasn’t even sure how much of it was his. He looks so despaired. He was really just left in parts, chunks of a child strewn everywhere. I felt sick. After all these years, the bloody ones still got to me. And this one, a kid. I turn away, reaching out reflexively to grip at his shoulder. He looks up at me, I can see, in my peripheral vision. I close my eyes, feeling my stomach turn. And then they started wailing. Deep, shuddering breaths and sobbing cries. I don’t think they even knew they were doing it, the six kids standing there in the carnage. I don’t have to turn and look to know they were clutching at each other, wracked with emotions. And I can’t take it anymore.

The metal door swings on its hinges as I rush out. There is a bang behind me as it hits the wall, but the only thing I’m focused on is trying to control my breathing. The last time I’d seen anything so bloody was Mom. An image: her blonde hair soaked red, against the rocks, my tears soaking Sofer’s jacket as he held me. My stomach turns again, and I lean over, my hands on my bent knees. Everything swims in front of me, my eyes now brimming with tears. Panic set it. I couldn’t do anything back then either. I couldn’t save her. I couldn’t save him. I couldn’t save anyone, I couldn’t do anythi-

“Hello?” a timid voice behind me.

Oh, the kid. I’d forgotten about the kid. The images, the thoughts, the guilt I felt, leave my mind and I focus on the post-it note I feel burning a hole in my pocketbook. Of course I couldn’t save them, that wasn’t my job. My job is just to help them move on, go forward.

I draw a deep breath, almost losing it at the stench of the alleyway. I swipe my hand across my eyes as I turn around. Short black hair frames a delicate face. His school-boy attire seems unfitting for the ordeal I know he just went through. And he’s so small. Granted, I’m only a couple feet taller than him, but I can just see how small he is from the way he stands, so defeated, so confused, so innocent. I feel my eyes brimming with tears again, but offer a wavering smile I hope will comfort him.

“Hey, kid.” I utter. He just stares at me. I suck in a breath, the smile fading. Looking down at my shoes, I draw the courage to continue, “I know you have a shit-load of questions. But if it’s okay with you,” I look up, “I’d like to get out of here.” His brows furrow, and he turns to look through the door into the museum. I can faintly still hear the wails of his siblings, and I recognize that’s what he’s thinking of. But the bloody image flashes in my mind again, and I know that he understands, deep down, why he can’t go back there. Why he didn’t feel anything at the moment all that carnage took place. Why he’s numb now.

He turned, looked me in the eyes. He’s still hesitant, I can tell, but the understanding I knew he feels is there, just at the surface of his demeanor. He nods, and I walk forward. I gesture toward the opening of the alley, and we keep walking.

It doesn’t feel right to try and comfort him then, to try and explain that I understand what he feels. That, though I look 15, I know what it feels like to die.

We keep walking, police cars and ambulances passing us, until we reach the bookstore. Luckily, it wasn’t very far. He still hasn’t said anything by the time we reach the door, but I was expecting as much. I glance up at Cindy behind the cash register as I walk in. She nods, and comes to flip the sign at the front to CLOSED as we walk to the back. I grab the clothes and wet wipes I’d stored in the closet on my way to the table. Ben follows silently behind me.

I clear my throat, “So,” I started, “I guess I’ll ask you first. Do you have any pressing questions, or if you want me to jump right into it?”

He doesn’t look at me, just stares at the cup of tea in front of him. He looks even smaller with the big blanket covering him. I sigh, “Look, I-”. God, it’s a kid, I don’t know what to say to kids. And I haven’t even gotten a kid in a long time. I don’t even remember what I said to the last one. I look at him again. He is all bundled up in that blanket, blood still covering him. I’d offered the wipes but he didn’t reach out for them. I think he’s still in shock. Memories of my own death trickle in.

“It didn’t really hurt when I died.” I state.

He blinks. Finally, a response.

I continue, “I mean, mine wasn’t all that brutal, so of course it didn’t really hurt.” I look down at the sleeve of my sweater. “It was my birthday, actually. I’d just turned 16, which was the youngest age you had to be to get a job back then. Of course, Mom said she didn’t want me to do that. The people I was living with then were really nice, you know? It was the Great Depression, as you guys call it; so there wasn’t really much of a chance for food, much less money to buy food. But I-I remember wanting to help, to try and find a job or some food or something- anything really. I don’t know why I thought I could help. Like I said, I hadn’t eaten in a long time,” I chuckle. “Anyway, I went out in the night, so nobody’d ask questions. I figured I’d try to go into the city. I don’t even remember how I got there, to the city. I was just so tired. We lived a bit further out than everybody else, which was also why it was hard to find stuff. It took longer than I thought it would. I was so weak by the time I got there; so tired. It was so bright up close; all the lights and stuff. The smell was horrible, and the people I saw all looked sick. But I was determined to find something, some way to help my family. And then I smelled it. Food; it made my stomach growl like crazy. I looked up and I saw a line of people in front of a soup kitchen, and I saw people holding soup, and it looked so good. I stepped out into the street, to cross the road, and...and that was it. It was over...like that. And I wasn’t hungry anymore. I wasn’t tired, I wasn’t anything” I sniffle. “It was a car. It came barreling down the road, totally reckless. When I came to, Sofer was there. He told me what’d happened right away. He said that it was some guy with a pregnant wife in the backseat. Told me I was dead, and he was a reaper.”

oops, I guess that’s the end of the story. I look up at the kid across from me-saying his name felt too personal right now. He’s staring at me, and with dread I notice tears in his eyes. He is clutching the cup of tea in front of him. He looks a little scared, actually, and I feel bad all of a sudden. I didn’t mean to make him sad, I thought I was doing the right thing. God, I don’t know what to say to kids.

“Sorry,” I mutter, concern filling me as I lean closer to him, “I didn’t mean to scare you, kid, I just- I- God, I don’t know, I guess I thought it would help.” Speaking, obviously, wasn’t the right move, as all of a sudden the tears are rolling down his cheeks. “Shit,” I exclaim, reaching across the table to grab his hand, “I’m sorry. It’s okay, it- it’s okay, I mean, yeah, you died, but you’re okay now, right?” That also wasn’t the right thing to say, because he has started crying even harder. “Oh, no,” I scoop him up, holding him to my chest as I gently just sit down on the floor. “Oh, god, I’m sorry! Oh, I’m so sorry.” I can’t stop apologizing, I can’t stop hushing him, rocking back and forth with him in my arms. I am horrible at this. I am so, so bad at this. Why did Sofer have to leave me here alone? Now tears are pricking at my eyes, and I can’t stop thinking of all the people I’ve failed, all the people who took so long to get beyond the veil because of me. Me and my stupid emotions. I am full blown crying now. I still can’t stop apologizing, and tears silently stream down my face and soak the blanket Ben is wrapped in. Ben. Dammit, I made it personal.

It was a good 10 minutes at least until Cindy came to the back and saw us still on the floor. He’d stopped crying by then, worn himself out. We were just sitting there, staring off into the distance. I’d started brushing his hair subconsciously, and he didn’t stop me. He was definitely worn out. She helped me lead him to the cot in the guest room, and he laid down and closed his eyes. I didn’t have the heart to tell him he couldn’t really sleep; he was dead. I leave the door open a crack, figuring he’d realize soon enough and come back out. Cindy is staring at me when I turn from closing the door. I glare at her, “Not a word,” I mutter as I move to clean away the mugs on the table. In my peripheral, I can see her raise her hands in defense, “I didn’t say anything!” she exclaims. I roll my eyes, “Yeah, but you were thinking something, and that’s just as distracting.” I hear her sigh, “Look, it’s just that this is the second one this week, and it isn’t like you to do this more than once every couple of years, maybe.” Dammit, she has a point.

“Cindy, I just...I just don’t know what to do when it’s a kid,” I whisper, turning to face her. She looks sad, like she pities me. God, I hate it when she pities me.

“I know that, but the one earlier this week was, like 100.” I glare at her again, walking over to the sink with my mug bounty, “She was 95, okay? And anyway, I was only sad because I knew you wouldn’t let me keep her dog.” Cindy rolls her eyes, scoffing, “Yeah, no, that’s such a blatant lie, I’m even more concerned now. I fucking love dogs, okay, and you know that!” My head shoots up, eyes wide, “Cut it out with the cussing,” I hiss. She looks even more concerned, appalled even.

“The cussing?!” she exclaims. I lift my finger up to my lips, worried her volume will wake Ben. She doesn’t stop talking, but does lower her voice, glancing at the door to the bedroom, “The cussing? You’re worried about me fucking cussing now?”.

“Yeah, Cin,” I continue, taunting her with her most hated nickname, “I’m worried about you cussing now. It’s not my fault you’re always cursing like a-” I stop myself quickly and grimace at my mistake. There’s silence for a beat as I turn my head slowly to look at her, overly smiling apologetically. She’s pretty much livid now. There’s not usually much I can do when she’d livid. I open my mouth, “I’m sor-”. The sting of her slap on my back is something I’m used to, but I gasp in shock and let out a laugh. I continue apologizing, “I’m sorry De, I’m sorry!”. I laugh as she hits me two more times, not hard- never hard- but enough to get her point across.

“Low blow, man,” she mutters, coming closer to help me with the dishes. I chuckle a bit, “Well, it’s not like I finished the sentence,” I try to defend myself. She just glares at me, and we wash dishes for a couple more minutes. Cindy’s death was more brutal than mine. And being raped and killed by a sailor in the 40s left a bad taste in her mouth when it comes to certain phrases. In the quiet aftermath of our fight, I pucker my lips at something she said, “It was a chihuahua.” Cindy looks up at me. “The lady’s dog, it was a chihuahua, that’s why I knew you wouldn’t want to keep it,” I explain. She smiles, then furrows her brow, “You hate chihuahuas too, though. Why would you want to keep it?” Dammit, she’s got another point. Why would I want to keep some angry old dog that belonged to some old lady I don’t even know? I think of her face, all wrinkled, but full of comfort and love. Warmth. It reminds me of Mom, holding me tight. She was always so warm. It didn’t hurt when I died, but it sure as hell hurt when she did.

“Pen?” Cindy says softly. I’m pulled out of my stupor. I shake myself, look at her. That was a mistake. She looks so concerned, so sad for me. I feel warmth on my arm, and look down at her hand on my bicep. I sigh, turning to put the dishes I was holding in the sink, and then grabbing a dish towel to dry my hands. While Cindy dries hers too, I pull out my pocketbook and flip through to get to the right page. I peel the post-it off the page and hand it to Cindy. She grabs it daintily. Her face changes as she reads it, “Oh, Pen,” she whispers with remorse. I lower my head, leaning back against the counter, “Yeah,” I sigh.

Written on the post-it is a name, a time, and a place. The name, though, is why Cindy’s now looking at me like I’m going to start breaking down any second. Which I definitely would, if it weren’t for the fact that I just did that with Ben 5 minutes ago. The name reads, Margaret Selorde, and it’s been breaking my heart since Thursday.

“How is this even possible,” Cindy whispers. I chuckled sadly, “Margaret is a pretty popular name, D, I don’t know what you mean.” She looks up, tilting her head and furrowing her brow as if to say, “Yeah, dipshit, I know Margaret is a popular name.” I sigh at that look, “It’s actually her.” Cindy’s mouth drops in surprise, “Seriously?” she whispers, and I nod, thankful she didn’t point out that I just said “is”, and not “was”.

“Penny told me. Then she looked into it when she got the ledger,” I explain, “found some old records on it at the library. And texted me right away,” I smile. Cindy’s face says it all. Her eyebrows are pulled together and her eyes are watering. She doesn’t pity me, she’s heartbroken for me. Penny had to take the soul of my adopted sister, the only part of my family left.

I look back down at my shoes, tears pricking my eyes, “She recognized me, actually,” I sniffle, “Penny showed her a picture of me,” I chuckle, watery. I clear my throat and pick my head up, still not looking at Cindy, but rather a spot on the doorway across the room, “Penny said she-she said she always knew I ended up okay. She said she always had a feeling.” I pause, then look at

The door to the guest room creaks, and I whip my head around. Ben’s standing there, skin still covered in dried blood. He looks so small, so innocent, so- “Hey, kid,” Cindy says. I turn to look at her, trying to communicate with my eyes that talking to him might not be the best idea, because I still don’t know what’s going on in his mind. She ignores me, “Do you want something?” she asks. I look back at him, and remark again at the blood all over his clothes. He doesn’t say anything, but looks at me. It hurts, strikes me to the core-my soul, if I still have one. I feel the urge to explain Cindy’s presence, “She’s like me, and she’s my roommate,” I awkwardly explain. He looks back at Cindy, who smiles. The silence is deafening. I can’t stop looking at him, at the blood.

“Hey, if you want, you can use the bathroom over there,” I point to the door next to the guest room, “to, um, well, wash off.” God dammit, why am I so bad with kids? Ben looks, though, at the bathroom door, and then down at his hands. I feel bad again as his eyes begin to fill with tears all over again. He rushes to the bathroom in a flash, shutting the door tight behind him. I grimace at it all, and turn to face Cindy again. She looks appalled as she hands me back the post-it note, “What did you even say to him?” she whispers. I throw my hands up, making sure to keep the post-it secure in one of my hands, “I don’t know,” I whisper back fiercely, “I told you, I’m bad with kids!” Cindy chuckles, still looking concerned about him, “He was so small,” she insists quietly, “and bloody,” she wrinkles her nose. I sigh, remembering the carnage, “Yeah, it was brutal.” Cindy looks at me, all of a sudden very serious, “Did someone…” she trails off, making a throat-slitting gesture. I shake my head fervently, “No, no, no, no,” I reassure her, and she sighs, “He did it himself,” I explain. Her eyes are big as saucers, and she’s absolutely heartbroken, “He did it himself?!” I chuckle at her expression, surprised she got to that conclusion, “Oh my god, sit down, I’ll just explain it to you.”

#dead like me #the umbrella academy #fanfic

25 notes · View notes

rengokus-eyeliner · 5 years ago

Text

Rengoku x Shy Fem!Reader

I had this sitting in my google docs after being inspired to write some smut during Kinktober. It might not be the best “debut” fic, but I hope you enjoy!

NSFW

Tags: Public sex

“Aaaah! Open your mouth wide!” Kyoujurou holds a spoonful of his dish out towards you, motioning for you to take a bite, “It’s really good!”

You shake your head, blushing when you notice patrons of the restaurant turning their attention to your lover’s boisterous affections. He doesn’t waver- instead his grin widens at the pink dusting your cheeks and he holds the spoon out even closer to you. You begrudgingly take a bite, and his smile somehow grows even more radiant.

Kyoujurou had just returned from a two month-long mission following Oyakata-sama’s orders, and as a celebration for your reunion, he’d brought you out to one of his favourite restaurants. Of course, you were elated to see him return happy and healthy, but the time apart from him made you miss him in more ways than just emotionally.

For the past few days since he’s returned, you’d been trying to send him signals. Leaning into his touches a bit more and returning his kisses with more fervour sounded like a good idea, but Kyoujurou seemed clueless. You would’ve said it outright, but your words would get stuck in your throat and you’d clammer up, blushing furiously. Tonight however, you were determined to make it happen. Even if you had to overcome your fear of getting your words across to him.

“Ah! What would you like for dessert? Feel free to-” You grab onto Kyoujurou’s hand mid-wave to motion the waiter over. He tilts his head quizzically, staring down at you with those puppy dog eyes. “What is it, my love?”

You feel even more blood rushing to your face, and you let go of his hand to cling onto his haori. You lean to his ear and whisper.

“You...I want you.”

He stiffens up at those words, eyes widening. Have you said something wrong? Oh, you’ve made things awkward now-

“What would you like, sir?” The waiter comes over with an amiable smile on his face, ready to take Kyoujurou’s order. He’s surprised when he hands him the fee for your dinner, obviously expecting the frequent patron to have ordered more. “Oh, so soon? I hope you enjoyed your meal, come again!”

Kyoujurou wordlessly tugs you from your seat, graciously helping you down from the elevated tatami floor. Your heart’s racing in your chest, and you think your face must be crimson at this point. When the cool night air hits your face, he takes you by the hand and leads you to the empty park nearby.

“My love!”

“Y-Yes?!” You stutter when he suddenly whips around, taking both of your hands into his.

“I’m sorry I didn’t realize! You’re always rather shy, not that I mind. You’re very cute!” You blush even more. “But, I didn’t want to overwhelm you after being away for a while. Thank you for communicating with me.”

He captures your lips in a kiss. Chaste at first, but soon enough his hands have slid from your shoulders to your hips to pull you against him. You pull away, slightly skittish.

“Wait, here?”

“Do you mind? If you don’t want to, it’s fine.”

You shake your head. That small kiss had already gotten you all hot and bothered. You probably wouldn’t have made it home anyway. Kyoujurou smiles down at you, pressing his lips against yours once again. He sits you down onto the park bench, gently pulling apart the top of your yukata to expose your breasts. The chill in the air hits your chest, but the warmth of Kyoujurou’s hands make sure you don’t get too cold.

“Beautiful.” He whispers, drinking in the sight of your rosey cheeks, pert nipples and glowing skin. A brush of his finger against your nipple elicits a small whine from you, which urges him to lavish it with more attention.

Kyoujurou trails a line of kisses down your neck to your chest, taking a bud into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it and sucking onto it tenderly. He adores the sound of your moans, a welcome driving factor for him to work even harder to please you.

His free hand runs down the side of your body, squeezing onto the plush curves he missed so, so much. You couldn’t possibly fathom how much he thought of you during the two months he was gone. Every night he was almost driven wild by how badly he wanted to hold onto you. All he could do was cling onto his thoughts of you and try to ease up some of his pent-up longing. But now, he had the real thing in his arms, and it was infinitely better. He was sure he’d make it known to you soon.

Nudging your legs apart, Kyoujurou bends between them to pull apart your layers of clothing to admire your pussy, already wet and glistening from his attention. He drags a finger across your folds, savouring the sight of your slick oozing from your hole and your little yelp when he brushed against your clit. He immediately latches onto you, planting small kisses on your clit before taking the swollen bud into his mouth. Your legs are trembling, and he wraps his arms around your thighs, encouraging you to place them over his shoulders.

How soft your legs are, how intoxicating you smell and taste- it’s all too much for Kyoujurou after being apart from you for so long. He slides a finger into you, earning a buck of your hips and another needy moan. Gradually, his tongue presses harder against your clit and he adds another finger before speeding things up. Your thighs squeeze tighter around his head, and he moans into your pussy, the vibrations more than enough to tip you over the edge. He continues to eat you out through your orgasm, only stopping when you say you want to feel him inside you.

“I would love for you to be bold like this more often.” Kyoujurou licks your slick off his lips, chuckling when you smack his arm. “Spread your legs a little wider for me, my love.”

You do as he says, eyeing his pretty, hardened cock as he pulls it out and rubs the tip of it against your sopping entrance. Just the sight of it makes you salivate slightly, and you want to take his weighty cock into your mouth to taste him. For now though, you’d prefer for it to be somewhere else.

He rubs his length over your slick folds a few times before pushing into you, grunting at the sensation of your slick, warm core tightening around him. You sigh as he bottoms out, relishing the way it fills you up so perfectly. It’s heavenly, and Kyoujurou loves how you shake beneath him.

After a few rolls of his hips to get you adjusted, he starts to thrust into you, holding onto the head of the bench as leverage. Kyoujurou’s assaulted by the sight of your pretty face, your smell, and the feeling of you wrapped around his cock and he starts to wonder if he can even last more than a minute.

“Kyoujurou...I want you to cum inside me.”

At this rate he’s really not gonna last more than a minute. He’s determined to make you climax again though, the feeling of your walls clenching around him as you get lost in your own pleasure is indescribable. Kyoujurou brushes the pad of his finger across your clit and he quickens his pace, pounding against that sweet spot inside of you. He bends over to kiss your neck, taking in more of your scent until he’s giddy.

With one final thrust, your back arches off the bench and you cum hard, pleasure so intense you see spots dancing before your eyes. You cry out, covering your mouth in a pathetic attempt to conceal your moans. Clinging onto Kyoujurou even tighter when he growls lowly, spilling his load into you with a few more plunges of his hips. You savour the warmth of his cum inside of you and the hazy, dazed expression he has on his face.

His breathing is heavy and he leans down to pepper a few more chaste kisses across your face before pulling out of you slowly, marvelling at the sight of your fluids mixing together.

“Do you think anybody saw us?” You ask him as he wipes you down with his napkin and pulls your clothing back over your body, rubbing the parts of your body that are sore.

“I don’t think so. Besides, you felt so good even I wouldn’t have noticed if someone had caught us!”

Blushing furiously, you turn away, holding onto Kyoujurou’s hand as the both of you started to make your way home. His heart soars, and he promises that he’ll cuddle you once you’re back home to your futon.

#rengoku kyoujurou #rengoku kyoujurou x reader #rengoku x reader #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer imagine #kimetsu no yaiba imagine #kny x reader #smut #kny #kny imagines

1K notes · View notes

starryseo · 5 years ago

Note

hello! currently having trouble with new writing ideas.. how about the word nostalgia? (you could really do a lot with this word lol)

im sorry in advance bc this is so long but you were completely right, nostalgia is a great word. there are like 3 fic ideas below, so pls enjoy! :)

hiya! writers block is terrible, so i hope u get inspired by smth soon! what helps me get through is taking a couple of random tropes/ au's and trying to work a fic around it? and then just write notes abt basic things like what characters are you writing abt? how'd they all meet? if, for example, you write a college au, what courses are they doing? any extra-curriculars? what hobbies do they have? you dont even need to include them in your fic, but writing things down will make u feel a lot more productive and it'll help build your characters. note down any quirks, personality traits, plot points, dialogue you really want in the fic before you even start writing - i bulletpoint this stuff in a google docs with crappy english, loads of !!!!s and a bunch of "idk where this is happening but A goes and does xxx", but it really does motivate me to continue thinking of a plot and then eventually writing it out!

ANYWAY, with nostalgia! im gonna use changbin, but imagine whoever!

i initially thought of a fic where the changbin + reader were grey and old, maybe sitting around w the grandkids as they're full of energy, asking how you met. what was changbin like when he was younger? did you know him when he was a baby? did you fall in love with him instantly? maybe you're going through a photo album which spurs this on and you're recounting all the milestones you've hit together, from your disastrous first date to your 25th anniversary.

BUT THEN I THOUGHT (mainly bc i just read a 1940s bucky fic - i love him sm), imagine recounting your days with changbin who has been sent off to war, or maybe even just abroad for work. you're exchanging love letters and maybe you havent hit 25 years together but you remember your first dance with him in perfect clarity and you write down all your love to him and send it off. his reply is filled with him gushing abt how captivating you looked - he remembers everything you wore that day - and he's filling the pages with so much love for you. always ends his letters with, "forever yours, changbin"

BUT THEN I THOUGHT x2, instead of just recounting the good ol' days, imagine reliving them? im not just talking a time travel au, bc that is a whole new topic, but a fantasy au where you and your nemesis changbin have been turned into children. with no idea how to turn you back, chaos erupts bc the rest of skz are clueless and unprepared to deal with two kids constantly fighting. they keep you separated bc they can't physically get you to stop without hurting either of you and goddamn this is the fifth time you've snuck past felix--. jisung is crying in a corner, hyunjin is pulling out his own hair and chan is nowhere to be found. perfect.

11 notes · View notes

hnnnfdfds · 5 years ago

Text

Ah, I’m cleaning my files currently due to the loads of stuff I’m writing. Google docs don’t seem to really work for me sorting things out so I’m making document files for my work. And well, really, I found this. It’s totally OOC but I wrote this in 2017.

——

Ship: AkuAtsu

Summary: Atsushi refuses to talk, Akutagawa worries and Dazai leaves because that’s all he ever does.

——

Sunset colored eyes stared at the sky above them, seeking an answer to the current situation.

This shouldn’t have happened.

He could feel strong arms lifting him off the ground. They were shaking, a sign of fear or anxiety. Maybe even both.

“Man-tiger, don’t you dare to close your eyes, hear me?!” The voice was filled with so much panic, that it made him wonder if he was really in a serious condition. But as the person, who carried him started walking, he noticed how much his throat hurt. Ah, right, there was a deep wound.

He really got overboard this time, taking most of the hits that were reserved for Akutagawa.

“You idiot! What were you even thinking?!” I didn’t want to see you in pain.

Atsushi wanted to tell him that, upon hearing the desperation in his partner’s voice. But his throat hurt so much, and there was something gathering in there and suddenly he was coughing strongly – coughing blood.

“Don’t try to talk, idiot!” Was his partner’s reaction to that. It made Atsushi smile – he is worried, he cares.

“And now your smiling?! Are you trying to be like that suicidal bastard?! First distancing yourself from us, and now trying to kill yourself?!”

He would have continued to smile, maybe he would even have started to grin and try to tease his partner about worrying so much, but then he weakly lifted his head and saw Akutagawa’s grey eyes.

His partner’s, “Don’t do that!” Was ignored, as a horrible feeling settled in his stomach. So much pain…

And then he gasped, trying to talk and ignoring Akutagawa’s words.

“I’-I’m… s-sorry… R-Ryuu-chan…,” he said in between some coughs.

“Idiot,” his partner said, and something wet landed on his cheeks. “Don’t talk. How many times… Do I need to tell you?”

He was crying – and as the realization hit him, Atsushi wanted to kill himself.

—

“I’m okay,” he whispered, trying to look anywhere but at the person in front of him.

“You’re not.” Came the immediate response from his mentor, Dazai Osamu.

Atsushi wanted to argue, even shout – but he knew he would only hurt himself even more if he did so. He gripped the blanket that was covering him tighter, trying to calm himself down.

Dazai saw this and sighed.

“I’m sorry.”

Now Atsushi slowly looked up. For what? Was the unspoken question.

And his mentor only closed his cold and broken brown eyes, whispering something before he turned around and left the room.

For a half-hour, the young detective sat there, with wide eyes, wondering if that was only a fragment of his imagination. But then the door opened and Yosano walked in, asking him how he felt and he started crying, not noticing the doctor’s panicked look, as she left the room.

For everything. I’m sorry for turning you into me.

Once again, he wanted to die. The person who he admired, who he saw as an older brother – he left. And he wasn’t coming back. He wanted to scream, to call the others, to stand up and run after him, but he wouldn’t – couldn’t – reach Dazai. It was impossible, too late.

And then the door crashed open, and Akutagawa came in, trying to calm him down.

But his voice was far, far away and Atsushi couldn’t hear anything, see anything – everything was dark and suddenly his throat hurt, burned as much as the tears did - and he fainted right there.

As he woke up, the others told him, that he might never be able to fight anymore if that continued. But Atsushi didn’t want that, he still wanted to battle side-by-side with his partner and search for Dazai. So, he did the only thing he could think of – he stopped talking.

Dazai wasn’t anymore there, to hear him out and give advice. The others wouldn’t understand and he didn’t want to burden Akutagawa anymore. “Maybe.” He mused once. Maybe, that made him cruel.

No whisper left his mouth afterward, and while his health finally got better and he finally could fight again, everyone was worried.

Because even then he didn’t utter a word.

—

Two years passed and some things changed, while others didn’t.

Atsushi didn’t talk, but everyone got used to it. Akutagawa refused to leave his side and Atsushi also didn’t like being separated from his partner. He befriended Chuuya.

And they searched for his former mentor.

Atsushi still admired him, Akutagawa hated him even more, loathed him. Because it was clear to the mafia member, that his former mentor was the reason for Atsushi’s refusal to speak. So, he would search for him and find him, giving Atsushi the chance to speak.

And he found him and dragged him back to the agency from some goddamn bar. The amount of alcohol he drank would even stun Chuuya.

Then he waited for Atsushi’s reaction. Dazai did as well, he realized. Chuuya too and everyone, really.

But the boy only smiled and waved at his former mentor, before going back to eating some of the sweets he shared with Ranpo. And everyone blinked, surprised. Atsushi, of course, noticed, so he took his notebook and scribbled something on one of the pages.

Welcome back, Dazai-san.

It was simple, but somehow that calmed everyone down so they continued to pester Dazai, who still starred at Atsushi with wide eyes – until he noticed dark grey eyes glaring at him. Akutagawa didn’t want him anywhere near Atsushi, and maybe it was better soon.

Later Akutagawa and Atsushi were on their way to their apartment. But the mafia member didn’t notice the buildings they passed. He still was filled with disappointment from not getting to hear Atsushi’s voice – or that’s what he thought.

It was nothing above a whisper, and Akutagawa knew from the moment he heard the voice, it would be his last time hearing the voice, but he was still happy.

“Thank you, Ryuu-chan”

He realized upon hearing the voice, that Atsushi didn’t need to talk.

They would still be partners, battling side-by-side.

They would still be partners, never leaving each other’s side.

And maybe he knew, that Atsushi had similar thoughts.

#akuatsu #bsd #bungou stray dogs #shin soukoku #my stars

67 notes · View notes

juju-on-that-yeet · 5 years ago

Text

Unravel, Chapter 11/20

Work Summary: Antisepticeye has a plan to destroy Darkiplier, steal his power, and take over everything - and he might just succeed. What starts with Yandereplier going missing evolves into a messy web of betrayal and grief, of blood and tears, of old wounds and new faces. However this ends, Ego Inc. will never be the same again. Chapter Summary: The egos get new information from an unexpected outside source, compelling Dr. Iplier to reconsider his silence. Warnings: Mild blood and violence, intense emotions ;u;

Read on AO3

Enjoy!

A few days later, Yandere is well enough to be discharged from the clinic. As much as Dr. Iplier wants to keep him there, he knows Yandere has made a lot of recovery progress already, and Yandere himself is itching to leave. Dr. Iplier knows, too, that it’s mostly his own fear and concern over his boy that’s making him want to keep Yandere close, and not Yandere’s actual condition. Still, he can’t help but lecture Yandere as he’s preparing to discharge him, insisting that he be careful and take it easy until he’s fully healed.

“Oh, lay off, Doc!” chides Wilford, who poofed in a few minutes ago with the intent to hang out with Yandere for his first day out of the clinic. “He gets it, just let him go already.”

“I’ll be careful, Dad, I swear,” Yandere adds.

“Alright, alright,” Dr. Iplier sighs. “I just worry about you, kiddo.”

That’s an understatement if there ever was one. It’s not just Yandere’s physical injuries Dr. Iplier’s worried about; it’s his emotional hurt, too. After that first night, Yandere hasn’t slept for more than a few hours at a time without waking with a nightmare. Sometimes it’s about Dark, about how he must have felt to be torn apart, and Yandere will cry anew for him, weeping until he exhausts himself back to sleep. Sometimes it’s about Anti, about the mental and physical torture Yandere suffered under his control, and Yandere will wake screaming and begging for mercy, shaking in Dr. Iplier’s arms until Dr. Iplier manages to coax him back to sleep. Even now, standing before Dr. Iplier and begging to be discharged, there’s a sad, tired glaze to his eyes, a difference in the way he carries himself.

None of that has to be said. Yandere’s expression softens and he walks up to Dr. Iplier to hug him.

“I’ll be okay eventually, Dad,” Yandere murmurs, “I already feel a lot better.”

Dr. Iplier’s heart burns. He can’t help but think of the additional two weeks he let Yandere suffer as he tried to figure out what to do about Anti’s plan. Still, he hugs Yandere back, squeezing tight.

“Alright, sweet pea,” he says, kissing Yandere’s forehead, “I’ll let you go. Just–”

“Be careful, I know!” Yandere laughs, stepping out of the hug. “I got it, Dad. I promise I’ll go easy on myself.”

“Wilford!” calls a sudden new voice.

Everyone turns to see Silver Shepherd dashing into the room, skidding on the clinic tile and nearly crashing into a cart. He’s not winded thanks to his super-endurance, but he might as well be. He pants not with exertion, but with shock and urgency.

“What do you want?” Wilford asks, grumpy at his intrusion. Yandere and Dr. Iplier regard Silver much less critically.

Silver holds up a small gadget – not his phone but his communicator; about the same size as his phone but with a much stronger signal, meant only for talking to Jackie on patrols and connecting to police and fire stations and hospitals. Silver speaks before the others can intuit his reason for showing it.

“Jackieboy Man made contact. He wants to talk to us, all of us. As soon as possible.”

The quiet is stark. Dr. Iplier’s eyes go wide, as do Yandere’s. Wilford’s frown deepens.

“Come on, then,” he says brusquely, approaching Silver, “Let’s take it to the Googles, see if we can get–” He poofs himself and Silver away, presumably to the control room.

Dr. Iplier spares a moment of sympathy for Silver getting tossed through Wilford’s void with no warning, but it’s trifling, barely present under the apprehension. What news does Jackie have for the egos? Dr. Iplier can’t help but feel like things are about to get even worse than they already are. The look on Yandere’s face suggests he’s thinking the same.

“What’s Jackie-san going to tell us?” Yandere asks him, trembling just a little.

“I don’t know,” Dr. Iplier says, putting an arm around him, “But I bet we’ll find out.”

Sure enough, only a few minutes later the pair each get a ping on their phones for an urgent, immediate meeting.

~~~

Dr. Iplier and Yandere take their now-usual seats at the conference table, and the room fills quickly. People are talking amongst each other, but much more quietly and subdued than normal. One could choose a conversation to eavesdrop on if they so desired, as the other noise in the room is minimal. The wall past the end of the table has a flat-screen TV attached there, similar to the end of Markiplier TV, from what Dr. Iplier remembers. They don’t really use the TV much, but right now, the Googles are working on it via the panel next to it on the wall, fiddling with AV cables. At the other end of the cables is Silver’s communicator. Silver himself is standing close by, nervously wringing his hands. Yandere looks over and catches Chrome’s eye as he works, and Chrome only frowns deeper, something desperate in his eyes.

“Alright,” Wilford says, loud over the whispers of the others, in lieu of the usual gunshot, “The reason we’re all here is that Silver–” Silver lifts a hand in a slight wave, “–received a message from Jackie on his communicator.” The whispers quiet as the other egos absorb the knowledge. “The Googles are trying to connect the communicator to the TV so we can speak to Jackie as a group. Jackie himself has news he wants to share with all of us.”

“Got it,” Google says, just as the TV flickers to life. The screen is still mostly black, but with white around the edge, just as the face cam feed on Silver’s communicator currently is. Google nods to Silver, who presses a button on his communicator.

A loading circle appears in the center of the blackness. The room is so silent that Dr. Iplier can just barely hear Silver murmuring “C’mon Jackie, pick up, please pick up,” under his breath.

After what feels like days but is only twenty or so seconds, Jackie appears on the TV.

Nearly everyone gasps, and no wonder: Jackie looks awful. One eye is nearly swollen shut, the other is open but ringed black and purple. His nose is crooked like it’s been broken recently, his nostrils are crusted with blood. His lip is split, his neck is lined as red as his suit, like someone tried to garrote him. His hood is down revealing his green hair, messy and dull. His suit covers the bruises and cuts that must be on his shoulders and upper chest, but there are some tears that reveal jagged gashes underneath. The worst of it, though, is Jackie’s expression: Normally bright, happy, optimistic, now tired, worn, hollow. His injuries remind Dr. Iplier of Yandere’s before he healed, and his expression is far too close to the look in Yandere’s eyes now, the look of someone haunted.

Yandere must see it too, because Dr. Iplier feels him hide his face in Dr. Iplier’s shoulder. Dr. Iplier lets him, and takes his hand to squeeze comfortingly as Yandere starts to shiver.

“Hey, glad I could get a hold of Silver,” Jackie says, trying for a smile and wave. His accent is there, but the bounce and volume are gone. He doesn’t sound like the same person.

“I could say the same about you!” Silver exclaims. No one looks more upset by the sight of Jackie than Silver; even through his mask his distress is tangible. “I’ve been trying to reach you for days, and the others have been trying to talk to your brothers.”

“I suppose,” Wilford cuts in from the head of the table, putting both his hands on the tabletop, “That you’re here to give explanations to that?”

“Yeah,” Jackie says, sighing. “I needed to tell all of you, it’s too important for just Silver and Dark – well, Wilford.”

Damien is at the table, too, and his jaw tenses at the stumble.

“Look, I’ll just come out and say it.” Jackie heaves a shuddering breath, then seems to steel himself. “Anti’s taken the others.”

The whole room gasps again.

“What??” Bim is the one to shout, “Even–”

“He took Marvin first.” Jackie cuts him off. His eyes are full of pain. “I guess he knew Marvin would be the hardest to defeat, so he wanted to get him first while he had the element of surprise. He took JJ and Schneep next. He probably figured they’d go down easier since he’s puppeted them before. I mean, I guess he was right. He got them, too.” Jackie looks away then, starting to tremble. “I tried to keep Chase and Robbie safe, but Anti took them too before long.” He looks back at the others. There are tears in his eyes. “It only took him a few days to take them all from me. He didn’t need to recharge or recover from attacks. We’d break our backs driving him away and he’d be back a few hours later, fighting us just as hard as before. And the more of us he took, the less we could fight, because we can’t just hurt our brothers.” Jackie breathes in, rough. “I know Anti’s not done. He’s leaving me for last. He’s attacked a few times, as you can tell–” He gestures to his face, “–but I think he’s going easy on me. I think he wanted me to get in contact with you guys. He didn’t let us before, god knows we tried. He jammed our signals, even for my communicator.” His eyes glint. “It’s not luck that I’m talking to you guys now. Anti’s letting me. He wants me to talk to you, let you know about all the havoc he’s caused.”

“He’s sending a message,” Wilford muses.

“Exactly,” Jackie sighs. “And the thing about all this is…” Jackie shakes his head again, like he barely trusts his own memory. “Anti’s not normally this strong. If he always had the ability to do something like this, he wouldn’t have waited so long. But I know he didn’t. The way he controlled the others, how he made them fight…they weren’t mindless, but they didn’t have the normal level of free will his puppets have. They were somewhere weird in between. And I swear they were stronger. The thing that made Anti stronger made the others stronger, too.” His eyes go distant. “Chase was always scrappy, but he was never so fast. Schneep never had the knack for fighting at all, but he threw a scalpel from across the room and gave me this.” He points to a hole in his suit, a hole deep in his skin. “Robbie’s never really been able to control his strength or channel it into aggression, but he was like an animal with Anti controlling him. And Marvin’s magic is stronger, and I don’t know how many times JJ was able to reverse and fast-forward time as we fought…” He sighs again against the memories. “Point is, this isn’t typical. I had a hunch as to how Anti got so strong, and I think I’m right, considering Dark isn’t here.”

“Dark’s aura,” Wilford growls.

Jackie nods.

Everyone in the room is frozen with fear just imagining it all. The ones with a friend or two among the Septics are in tears. Dr. Iplier is horrified. Everything he feared about Anti using Dark’s power is coming to life and then some. Beside him, Yandere hasn’t lifted his head from Dr. Iplier’s shoulder, and his trembling has only increased. Dr. Iplier pulls Yandere into his lap and starts to quietly soothe him, trying to distract them both. Yandere whimpers into Dr. Iplier’s neck. His tears are warm on Dr. Iplier’s skin.

“Do you have any idea about what Anti’s plan is, or was?” Bim asks, crying but fighting to keep his voice steady. “We know he used a potion he stole from Marvin, and he took Yandere and kept him as a puppet for a long time. But he let Yandere go after he got Dark’s aura. It doesn’t make sense.”

“Of course it was a potion from Marvin,” Jackie mutters, suddenly bitter. “I told him a hundred times to stop making shit he didn’t need, but he always said he hid them–” The anger falls out of him in a sigh. “Of course Anti found it. He probably always knew where they were. As for Yandere…”

Jackie glances at Yandere, who doesn’t look up from Dr. Iplier’s neck. His gaze softens as he thinks. He probably remembers weeks ago, when Dark and Wilford questioned him about Yandere’s disappearance, before they knew for certain it was Anti’s doing.

“I can’t say why Anti took Yandere like that, but…” Jackie considers. “If he was able to get into Ego Inc. and kidnap Yandere, logic says that he should’ve been able to sneak in and use the potion on Dark himself without all that preamble. Anti’s just reckless enough to try it, but he’s smart, too. He probably knew that if he failed even once, he’d never get another chance. He had to be absolutely sure he could do it. And it couldn’t have been easy to get the drop on someone like Dark.”

“Dark was hurt when Anti took his aura,” Wilford says, subdued and sad. “He’d gotten in a fight with Infelix and got badly burned.”

“He must’ve been waiting for an opening like that,” Jackie continues. He pauses. “But wait, if Dark was hurt, he would’ve been in the clinic, right?”

“Dr. Iplier was there,” Host pipes up, “And The Host arrived soon after. The Host came too late to know exactly what happened, and Dr. Iplier was in shock and had no memory of what he saw. He still does not know what happened.”

Jackie looks toward Dr. Iplier. Even through the TV screen, Dr. Iplier can feel the burn of Jackie’s intense gaze.

“Really?” he asks, somewhere between desperation and disbelief.

“Really,” Dr. Iplier lies. It’s not the first time he’s told that lie, but it’s the hardest, speaking it to the face of someone who’s lost so much to Dr. Iplier’s decisions.

For only a moment, Jackie’s eyes narrow, and then he sighs and shakes his head. But Dr. Iplier’s heart pounds.

“He knows I’m lying.”

“The piece that doesn’t fit is Yandere,” Jackie muses, “There’s no reason to kidnap him unless he wanted a distraction, or…”

“Or…?” Wilford prompts.

“Or leverage.” Jackie finishes. “Leverage against Dark, or you, or someone else. With a plan this big, where one little slip-up would mean failure, Anti would’ve done whatever he had to do to increase his chance of success. Yandere has to fit somewhere in there. But I can’t say how, I don’t know enough.” Pain filters back into his expression. “All I know is that Anti has more power than he ever dreamed. He’s collecting puppets. He got all my brothers, and I know he won’t stop after he gets me. I’ve gotten some communication from other figments he’s attacked. I think he’s looking for the stronger ones, ones he can turn into puppets, and killing the weaker ones so they can’t band together and stop him.” He stares out at all of the egos. “You guys are the strongest figments around. Anti will come after you, and you have to be ready to face him. If you can’t stop him then nobody can.” He sighs, resigned. “I’m not strong enough to stop him, especially not when he has my brothers to use against me. I won’t hurt them. I can’t. They’ll defeat me and Anti will make me a puppet just like the rest of them. It has to be you.”

“Oh, we’ll stop him alright,” Wilford growls, eyes bright pink. “We’ll rip him to shreds.”

Jackie grins, bitter.

“Good.” His grin falls. “That’s all I have. I hope it was helpful, at least.”

“Very,” Wilford says with a nod.

“I’m so sorry, Jackie,” Silver says, quiet and somber. He’s probably crying under his mask. “We’ll stop him, and you’ll get your brothers back.”

Jackie smiles, sad and tired but genuine. His eyes shine with tears.

“Thanks, Silver,” Jackie whispers, as though suddenly too choked up to speak any louder. “Good luck, all of you.” His smile shakes and falls. “You’re going to need it.”

The call ends.

The TV screen goes black again.

“New rule,” Wilford says, eyes still pink with rage, “No one leaves this building. If Anti’s coming we absolutely cannot risk anyone getting hurt out there. We stay here and stay alert. The Googles–” He nods to them, “–will be monitoring the city through cameras, looking for any sign of Anti. If any of you see something, me or Host has to know.” He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “We still don’t have all the answers, but that doesn’t matter anymore. What’s important is stopping Anti. You’re all dismissed.”

The room bursts into flurries of muttering as the egos talk amongst themselves, but quietly, still in shock. Wilford storms away with Host following behind, leaving Dr. Iplier sitting in his chair with Yandere still in his lap.

“Did Anti just take me for fun?” Yandere whimpers. “Did he kidnap me and torture me just because he felt like it?? Was it just – just fucking set dressing for his actual plan!?”

“Oh, sweetheart,” Dr. Iplier murmurs, stroking his hair.

“I know why Anti took him, I know everything,” he can’t stop himself from thinking.

Dr. Iplier’s phone buzzes. He’s surprised, but he gets it out of his pocket – a feat with Yandere still in his lap – in case it’s important. And it must be, because it’s Jackie’s name that pops up on Dr. Iplier’s screen. He’s had Jackie’s number for a while, in case something happened to Silver while the pair were working together. He opens the message:

You know something they don’t. Whatever it is, you have to tell them. It could help them stop Anti, and even if it doesn’t, they deserve to know the truth.

Dr. Iplier’s heart sinks, because Jackie’s right. Knowing the truth may not help them fight Anti; knowing how Anti got Dark’s aura doesn’t matter for that. But it still matters to the egos. It matters to Yandere, to his recovery. It matters to Host, to the blind spot – in every sense of the phrase – in his visions. It matters to anyone who cares about either of them, anyone who fears being taken in the night and puppeted next. After all the secrecy and hiding, all the paranoia and guilt, it seems inevitable that Dr. Iplier would end up here.

“The question is, will you admit to what you’ve done, or will you hide the truth like a coward?” Anti had asked.

Dr. Iplier cannot be a coward any longer.

But it still takes him a few hours to gather up the strength to go to Wilford, to tell him that he has something important to say.

“Well, go ahead,” Wilford says.

“It…it has to be a meeting,” Dr. Iplier answers, voice shaking. “Everyone has to know.”

It must be the look on Dr. Iplier’s face, or the way he’s carrying himself, or something else about him that makes Wilford nod and send out the notification instead of scoffing at the idea of two meetings in a single day. Ordinarily that’d be strange, but nothing is strange anymore.

Well, not nothing.

The meeting room fills up, again. Wilford sits at the head, again. But Dr. Iplier doesn’t take up his usual seat between Yandere and Host. Instead, he stands at the end, and the other egos are bewildered by it. Dr. Iplier tries not to meet anyone’s eyes, but he can’t help but glance at his loved ones. Yandere is utterly confused, and Host is surprised not to sense Dr. Iplier beside him. Dr. Iplier’s heart is pounding harder than it ever has, he struggles not to hyperventilate. He has to stay in control. He has to turn on his doctor side. He has to be clinical, he has to speak simply, he cannot let emotion get in the way of this.

“We’re here again,” Wilford begins, addressing the room’s obvious question, “Because Doc has something we need to know.” He gestures to him.

Every eye in the room zeroes in on Dr. Iplier.

“Okay,” Dr. Iplier says, trying to keep his voice steady, “I just want to ask before I start that…that no one say anything until I’m done. Alright?”

Wilford shrugs.

“Sure,” he says. Some other egos nod, all continue to stare. Yandere and Host’s brows furrow.

It’s now or never.

Dr. Iplier takes a deep breath and begins.

“I should start from the beginning,” he says, quiet and slow. “A couple weeks after Yandere disappeared, Anti…Anti snuck into the clinic and grabbed me.” The others gasp. Dr. Iplier continues. “He teleported me to his cabin, the place where he was keeping Yan.” Dr. Iplier closes his eyes, remembering. “He showed Yan to me, but he put so much static in Yan’s head that he didn’t register anything around him, except for Anti’s voice. He told me how he could get into Ego Inc. just enough to condition Yandere, and during that storm, he came into the building through a lightning bolt and took Yan away. Anti taunted me, and told me everything. He showed me the same potion Yan saw, told me how he stole it from Marvin, told me how he planned to kill Dark and take his aura with it, and…and…” Dr. Iplier takes in a shaky breath. He can’t go back from this. He opens his eyes, but looks down at the table, unable to look the others in the eye. “And how he wanted me to be the one to use it.”

The room gasps again, and some start to murmur, until Wilford smacks a hand on the table to silence them. Dr. Iplier looks at him, avoiding the gaze of the others. Wilford gestures for him to continue. His expression is dangerous. Dr. Iplier shivers and directs his eyes to the table once more.

“He knew he only had one chance to give Dark the potion,” Dr. Iplier explains, “And Yandere was his means to that end. He knew he wouldn’t be able to sneak up on Dark. At first he thought he could make Yandere do it, but it seemed too risky. He knew no amount of brainwashing or possession could make Yandere hurt Dark, and he doubted he’d be able to hide Yandere’s brainwashing if he sent him back to us. So instead, he used Yan to get to me.” He tightens his fists against his sides, one beat, then relaxes. His hands start shaking. “He told me to take the potion and use it on Dark when I got an opportunity. If I refused, he’d kill Yan, as many times as it took for him to fade. If I told anyone, he’d do the same. If I got an opportunity and hesitated, he’d come and kill Dark himself, and then he’d kill Yan. But if I did it, he’d give Yan back. So he sent me back with the potion. For another two weeks I tried to think of a way out. I…I reasoned that Anti didn’t know for sure what the potion would do, he’d admitted that. I thought maybe it wouldn’t do what he wanted it to do to Dark. And that even if it worked, Anti could never take something as powerful as Dark’s aura for himself. And I didn’t–” His breath hitches, he struggles not to sob. “–I didn’t want to lose Yandere. I couldn’t forgive myself if I let him die. And I knew that even if we somehow managed to find that cabin and get him back, we wouldn’t be able to do it before Anti killed him, and we might’ve lost him forever.” Dr. Iplier shudders, tries to look up but can’t. “So I did it. After Dark got hurt in that fight with Infelix, I…I…injected him with the potion.”

The room gasps a third time, people start to shout, and this time, Wilford fires a round into the ceiling to quiet them. Dr. Iplier dares not look at him.

“It split him apart into Damien, Celine, the DA’s body, and his aura,” Dr. Iplier continues, remembering how Dark fell apart in front of him. “After it happened, Anti came with Yandere. He kept his promise, he released his control of him. Dark’s aura went right to him, he didn’t even have to take it by force. He said…” Dr. Iplier struggles to keep speaking. “He said I didn’t have to keep anything a secret anymore. That it didn’t matter now that he had what he wanted. But when Host came in I just…I froze. I couldn’t admit it. I thought, I feared, but I hoped he’d find out the whole thing by narrating, but he didn’t. And I just couldn’t make myself tell the truth. Not then, not after, not until now. Jackie took one look at me today and figured out I was lying. He didn’t know what I did, but he knew I was hiding something. He texted me after he signed off, he told me you all needed to know. And he’s right. You have to know. All of you. I’m sorry.” He still cannot lift his head, still cannot face what he’s done. Tears start falling, hitting the table one at a time. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

There’s a long beat of silence.

Then the room explodes.

Shouting, crying, screaming out, chairs tossed back, hands slammed on the table. Dr. Iplier finally, finally forces his gaze up to see chaos. Half the egos are arguing with each other, the other half are yelling at Dr. Iplier, all of them talking over each other.

“Dr. Iplier, why on earth did you–”

“You heard him, it was to protect Yandere!”

“But he killed Dark!”

“If it were my kid, I woulda done the same!”

“Letting Yandere die would have been regrettable; however, letting Dark die is already causing much more harm.”

“He should’ve told us, maybe we could’ve found Yandere!”

“Anti would have known, he would’ve killed him!”

“Would that have been any worse than this?”

“He killed one of us! How are we supposed to trust him now!?”

Their arguments go in circles, and they soon get too caught up in them to yell at Dr. Iplier anymore. Every ego is a part of it, even Eric and Oliver are raising their voices with the others, even the Jims are arguing furiously; CJ’s wide, angry signing just as volatile as his brother’s shouting. But Dr. Iplier can’t focus on any of them, there’s other people whose reactions matter more to him.

Wilford has his head buried in his hands, and Dr. Iplier can’t tell if he’s heaving with sobs or if he’s struggling not to completely lose his temper. Damien is making his way through the crowd to help him, his own face white, now that he knows for sure what happened in that blank spot of Dark’s memory, now that he knows what was happening right under Dark’s nose. Host is sitting ramrod straight in his chair, mouth open in shock, staring straight ahead of himself across the table, bandages darkening with blood, hands curled in tight fists. Worst of all, though, is Yandere, sitting hunched in his seat, staring into the middle distance, confused tears spilling down his cheeks, eyes redder than his hair. After a few moments, Dr. Iplier and Yandere’s eyes meet, and Yandere’s expression twists. He gets up and storms out of the room. Dr. Iplier follows him without a second thought, pushing through the crowd to the doorway. Most are so absorbed in their arguments that they barely notice.

“Yan!” he calls, making his way to the hall. “Yan, please!” He sees Yandere stop where he is, still facing away. Dr. Iplier runs to him, gasping with exertion or emotion or both. “Yan please, just hear–”

Yandere turns around and punches Dr. Iplier across the face in one smooth motion. Dr. Iplier is suddenly staring at the floor, struggling to stay upright. His jaw rattles with the force. His mouth fills with pain and something else. He spits a glob of blood and a tooth onto the floor.

“Yan,” he gasps.

“How could you??” Yandere cries, voice strained with tears. “You killed Yami! You killed my senpai! This whole time you held me and comforted me and you were the one who took him from me!!”

“I’m sorry I lied,” Dr. Iplier whispers, still in shock. His jaw throbs with pain, his chest throbs with hurt. “I’m so sorry I lied to you. And I’m sorry for what I did to Dark, you don’t know how sorry I am.”

“You’re still fucking lying!” Yandere screams, “If you were really fucking sorry you wouldn’t have killed him!!”

“I had no choice, don’t you see that!?” Dr. Iplier sobs, “If I didn’t do what Anti wanted he would’ve killed you!!”

“Then you should’ve let him!!” Yandere howls. “I’d rather be dead than live without Yami! How could you do this to me??”

“Son, please–” Dr. Iplier murmurs, aching, reaching out to wipe away Yandere’s tears.

“Stop,” Yandere chokes out, stepping back, away from Dr. Iplier’s hand, “Don’t say that now, just – not now, not now.” He turns and runs, crying the whole way down the hall.

Dr. Iplier stays rooted where he is, frozen, mouth open as every unsaid word congeals in his throat, burning as keen as his jaw. His heart was already broken after days of missing Yandere, days of watching him wake with nightmares, days of holding him as he cried, days of watching Yandere in pain, but now it’s positively shattered watching his – his – well, his nothing anymore, right? – run away from him.

As he stands there, two people – Chrome and Yancy – brush past him, running down the hall after Yandere to comfort him. They don’t give Dr. Iplier so much as a backwards glance. He has nothing left to do but turn and go back to the conference room, trudging through the doors. He can barely feel the tears still running down his face, his neck, off the end of his chin onto the door handle.

The room is still just as chaotic, but the chaos has shifted. On one side of the table, Wilford is storming up and down the length of it, one hand waving his gun in the air, the other buried in his hair, tight, almost pulling. His eyes are wild and pink, his face is stretched in an unnatural grin as he mutters to himself. Damien and Bim are following him as he goes, trying to talk to him, and the Jims are following Bim, watching silently with owlish eyes, unsure of what to do other than hold tight to each other’s hand. On the other side of the table, most of the other egos are giving Wilford a wide berth and gathered around something…someone else.

Dr. Iplier approaches to see The Host, and the pieces of his heart lurch in his chest. Host is curled over himself, hands tangled in his hair. Blood soaks through his bandages, runs down his cheek, dampens the front of his trench coat, puddles on the table, drips onto the floor. He’s already gone pale. He’s muttering so low and so fast that he’s impossible to understand, and he seems unable to stop.

“The blocks in his visions are gone,” Dr. Iplier realizes, “He can see all the futures he couldn’t before.”

Host mutters and mutters until his words catch and he coughs, pulling his hands out of his hair to brace against the table. The puddle on the table sloshes into his hands, into the cuffs of his trench coat, off the table and onto his pants, but Host doesn’t seem to notice. When the cough leaves him, he bows his head, trembling, panting. His teeth are red. When he speaks again, he’s finally audible, voice dark with premonition.

“The egos have hundreds of futures laid ahead of them now,” Host gasps, “All are suffering. Many are death. Reality is flayed open, no one is safe.”

He lifts his head and, even without eyes, stares straight at Dr. Iplier through the crowd of egos.

“Nothing will ever be the same.”

#dr. iplier #yandereplier #wilford warfstache #jackieboy man #markiplier fanfiction #markiplier #kristin says stuff #my writing #unravel #oof

3 notes · View notes

lenaisanerd · 6 years ago

Text

i know it’s expected that i be serene

When Clary texts Simon requesting Fullmetal Alchemist, he knows something's up. But Clary seems to be in denial, and so Simon dispenses the ultimate cure-all: Hanging out with her best friend. (ca. 3500 words)

tunes.

Read on AO3.

This story was co-written with my darling @raisehades. Please enjoy the hard-earned fruits of many late-night Google Docs comment battles.

Clary: can i come ober

Simon: Ofc

Are u okay?

Clary: yes i just want so talk and cuddle or something

Simon: Okay. Want me to set up anything?

Clary: fma? 2009?

Simon: I gotchu

Simon was slightly worried.

First of all, Clary wasn’t usually this reserved in her texting. Her lack of exclamation points coupled with the request for her favourite show could only mean one thing: his friend was way more down than she was letting on.

But he would deal with that when she brought it up because, well, he was also happy; Clary and him used to do this a lot – go over to each other’s (parent’s) place to hang out and watch something they both more or less enjoyed and maybe even talk about their lives and their feelings and- stuff.

But ever since the whole… half-angel manic pixie dream girl mom reveal (the HAMPDGMR) and everything that went down in consequence of the HAMPDGMR, they simply hadn’t done this sort of thing anymore. Sure, they hung out with all their other friends, at parties at Magnus’ loft or karaoke night at the Hunter’s Moon. And while that was fun, it was different when it was just the two of them.

Even during their brief dating stint, there wasn’t much they did that they’d done as friends. Simon had enjoyed what they’d done together, of course, but looking back it had been obvious that this wasn’t ideal for them.

Ideal was this: Lugging the connector cable for the TV into the vicinity of his laptop, powering both up and then loading a site with English subtitles of Hiromu Arakawa’s masterpiece Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood.

Also ideal: Clary bringing weird snacks with unpronounceable names from the Polish bodega down the street from their old high school. That store had become their first stop after class when they were younger and would sneak candy into movie theatres or curl up on the couch in Clary’s living room and watch Audrey Hepburn flicks with Dot. Simon was almost certain he would be able to eat some and keep them down by now.

Well, actually, in a perfect world, Simon would have loved to cook something for Clary (the food at the Institute was a far cry from what any sane person would call comfort food. Or edible). But one of the results of moving out of his mom’s place just after he’d become a bloodsucking creature of the night was that he owned basically no dishes, or pots, or kitchen utensils.

Even compiling his stuff with Maia’s (who had lived next to a Chinese restaurant for her entire adult life) yielded five plates, one bowl, two chipped mugs, and somehow a ridiculously large amount of cutlery. So cooking anything more than a bowl of cereal was out of the question until they got around to buying some usable stuff. Simon could already see himself and Maia filling their birthday and Christmas/Hanukkah wishlists with basic household items for years into the future. Ah, the joys of adulthood.

Still, this was almost the Saturday morning of his dreams. In the past year, Simon had come to understand that while moments of normalcy were few and far between, when one came along they had to hold on tight for as long as they could. Which was exactly what he was planning to do.

“I’m telling you, Polish Bodega lady has to be a Downworlder. We just have to find out what flavor she is.” Clary started on her new favourite topic as soon as Simon opened the door. She draped her damp jacket over the back of a kitchen chair to dry, dropped a plastic bag on the table, and re-tied her wet ponytail.

Simon started rummaging through the contents of the bag. “Okay, one: I don’t like “flavors”, at all, two: how do you know she’s not just a normal human being who just happens to own a windowless shop where she basically lives 24/7? Oooh, you brought those weird milk drops!”

Clary had her back turned to him while she stretched as far as she could to reach the plates and mugs on one of the high shelves above the sink, not quite managing it. “She never sleeps. Sometimes I come by that store when I’m on patrol, and she must be there all night. Every night. And every day, too. Either she never sleeps, or she has at least two clones.”

“Maybe she has an identical twin sister.” Simon took pity on her and handed her the dishes. Clary took them and ducked out under his arm from between the sink and his body in one fluid movement. Then she set to digging through the fridge for some soda for herself, and a bag of A+ for him, hugging the plates and mugs to her body with her free arm.

“I think I caught her staring at my runes. She definitely at least has the Sight.”

“Oh, so your angel-ninja sense is tingling? Tell me, is there a type of demon that loves to disguise itself as an old lady and watch reruns of Polish soap operas?”

“There’s only so many demons that can be terrorizing Manhattan bankers at a time, you know.”

Simon let out an undignified snort of laughter, of the kind that, had he been drinking at the time, would certainly have made him exhale his drink through his nose. Clary stuck her head over the fridge door grinning triumphantly. Then she emerged fully from its depths with a bottle of coke wedged horizontally under her chin, the plates under her arm, right hand holding the mugs, and left hand holding the blood bag. Standing up was a precarious balancing act, and Simon rushed over to take the bottle from between her chin and collarbone. After he snatched up the bags of sweets from the table they continued their procession into Simon’s bedroom.

Maia and him had moved in together just after New Year’s, into a tiny two-bedroom apartment in Fort Greene. They had decided against sharing a bedroom, though, mostly because of their sleep schedules. As Maia had put it, one partner strangling the other because a certain vampire keeps making noise all through the night while a certain werewolf is trying to sleep is not very conducive to a healthy relationship. Of course, they often spend the night together anyway, although those weren’t the nights when they did much sleeping.

“Come lie down, thought you wanted to cuddle,” Simon said, sitting down on the bed and patting the spot next to him. Clary flopped down and threw her legs over his. Balancing the snack plate carefully on her lap she fluffed the pillows behind her and finally settled down.

It was several skipped episodes, an entire bag o’ blood, and a good two thirds of the coke later when Simon got to find out why exactly Clary was in such urgent need for Comfort TV Time.

“Did you know jat Ling’s name doejn’t need the ng sound at all? It’sh Lin in Japanese and”, Simon swallowed the milk drops, “the Chinese translation both, so they just changed it for us for some reason.”

“You’re going to regret eating those,” Clary said with such a comical expression of distaste on her face that Simon couldn’t help but laugh out loud. She rolled her eyes. “Suit yourself. I won’t mop it up, though.”

Simon was still grinning when Clary reached forward to pause the episode on a rather unfortunate still of Major Louis Armstrong in motion.

“Do you think Izzy would like this,” she said, suddenly serious.

“Who wouldn’t like Fullmetal Alch- ”

“You’re right. Of course she would. Continue.”

Simon took her vague gesture towards the screen as a command to unpause. About half a minute later she piped up again, this time not even bothering with the pause button. “Her favourite character would have to be Mei-Chang.”

“Really?,” Simon indulged, reminding himself that he had in fact watched this episode several times in his life(un-life?) already and could live (hah) with not catching every subtitle, “I would have thought Olivier, Lan Fan… or maybe Riza? One of the really cool badass ladies.”

“Izzy may be a really cool badass but trust me, she loves little girls with a passion for science. Did I tell you about that dinner party at Magnus’ place? She was off in a corner with Madzie all evening, talking about chemistry or something. It was adorable.”

“Yes, I – I don’t know how I managed to forget. You’ve told me about it... several times now.” Simon was quite proud of his wallowing pause here.

Clary said, “Well.” and when Simon looked over to her she was visibly re-invested in subtitles. He suppressed a fond headshake and decided to let her have this one.

The next time they got through a good fifteen minutes during which Clary only noticeably stopped herself from interrupting twice and Simon started quietly wondering if eating those drops was a bad idea after all.

“Could we invite her to something like this?”

“Izzy, you mean?”

“Ah, yes. I just mean, like, we’ve hung out at the Hunter’s Moon and the Institute and stuff but I don’t know, would she like just… watching anime? Snacking?”

Simon really did put up with a lot, huh. “I don’t know, what do you think?”, he said in his least exasperated voice and leaned forward once again to press pause. He looked over to Clary, who was searching through one of the bags of candy for the last red one with the utmost concentration.

“I think she’s probably never been able to do something like this but that… she’d probably like to try. And I guess it depends on the show if she’d enjoy it. Her attention span is better than ours’ for sure, though. Maybe I’ll ask her.”

“Instead of me?! I’m hurt, Fray.” Simon placed a hand over his unbeating heart and pulled what he hoped to be the most devastating pout since Shrek’s puss in boots. He probably didn’t succeed in that.

Clary repaid his efforts by hitting his shoulder. He whined out an ooow and curled up to smoosh his head into Clary’s side. Her shirt muffled his sigh, and she recoiled from his breath, pushing him away with a giggle.

“Simon, stop that! You know I’m ticklish!”

Instead of letting up, Simon wrapped his arms around Clary’s waist.

“Zis vasn’t my decision.” Simon was using his best Bela Lugosi accent. Clary’s eyes widened in mock horror and the corner of her mouth twitched upward. “You brought zis on yourself. If Izzy is going to be your new best friend now, you must face...ze octopus!” His legs wrapped around Clary’s knees while she wriggled and squirmed and laughed.

“Hang on, what do you mean ‘my new best friend’? Simon Lewis, you’re not suddenly getting jealous, are you?” Clary asked when she had successfully freed herself from Simon’s grasp and they were both lying on their backs, looking at the ceiling.

“Pssh. No,” Simon lied. Clary had the decency to look slightly guilty. “Maybe you just have a crush on Izzy, ever thought about that?”

He had expected a pillow to the face for that tease, or another assault on his shoulder, or a bit of banter. What Simon had not expected was Clary suddenly looking all serious.

“Huh. You know, I’ve never considered that. Thanks, Simon,” she said, and Simon was quite proud of himself for being as good at identifying sarcasm as he was, but he really and truly couldn’t tell what Clary was thinking then. As his friend leant forward to unpause their series he decided she must just be a bit tired of antics for today. Understandable, really.

Yesterday’s summer storm had turned into persistent rain. It pitter-pattered against the fire escape and the windowsill, occasionally cutting through the sound coming from the TV’s speakers. During the peak of the heat wave, Maia and Simon had opened all the windows in the apartment to let in a breeze and had jammed whatever was handy at the time underneath to keep them from closing. There was a guitar foot rest wedged in the crack of Simon’s bedroom window.

“Simon?”

“Yeah?”

“I definitely have a crush on Izzy.”

The pause button had never been pressed so quickly. It would have been a world record, if world record judges liked to hang out on rickety fire escapes peering through windows to see if random teenagers performed laws-of-physics-defying feats from the comfort of their beds.

Simon lay back down, face to face with Clary. She seemed way more casual than what Simon thought was appropriate for the situation.

“So…Izzy. Isabelle. Really tall, beautiful, kinda scary. Terrible cook. We’re still talking about our Izzy here?”

“Yep.”

“Huh.” Simon let that sink in for a minute.

“And, uh. How long have you known?”

Clary let out a hollow chuckle. “Consciously? About 30 seconds.”

Simon sat up. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “Clary. I know you won’t like hearing it, but I’ve been your friend for over ten years, so I feel it is my duty to tell you this: You are such a dumbass.”

With a big sigh, Clary rolled over and buried her face in a pillow. Simon could barely make out her voice, but what she said sounded distinctly like a whine.

“What was that?”

Clary came up for air. ”I know.” Definitely whiny. With a very long vowel sound.

“I mean, you’re in so deep that I’m surprised you don’t need scuba gear yet.”

A groan.

Simon bumped her shoulder gently with his elbow. “Did I make you skip to the ‘wallowing in your own misery’ phase of having a crush?”

“No, it’s just...I can’t believe I never noticed.” Clary sat up, her legs crossed, facing Simon. “I only spent, oh, the last year with Izzy, every day. And– and looking back on some… things, it’s becoming really clear that I’ve had a crush on her for a while. And now I just feel like the biggest idiot in the world, and also what the fuck do I do now, Simon?” While she spoke Clary had let her head sink into her hands. Simon was of the opinion that they had just passed ‘wallowing’ and were well on their way to “breakdown”.

Simon leaned forward and, as gently as he could, pried Clary’s hands away from her face and held onto them for safekeeping.

“Hey, slow down, ‘cause this is bringing back really bad memories of pre-finals all-nighters.” This at least got a little smile out of Clary. “Now, can we back up just a bit to the ‘things’ you’re currently re-examining?”

Clary thought for a moment and then answered slowly, as though she was choosing her words with care. “Like, for example, why I love when she does my makeup. She’s really focused and just gets so close to my face and then she does that thing were she bites her lip and narrows her eyes, and sometimes I just want to lean forward and… kiss her?”

Immediately and seemingly instinctually, a grin tugged its way up the corner of Simon’s mouth. “Should I go get that scuba gear?” Clary rolled her eyes in response, but continued her recounting of Isabelle’s many virtues.

“And, uh, I always pick Izzy as a training partner, even though she does not go easy on me, because I kind of like when she kicks my ass.”

Simon only held in a dirty joke by viciously biting his own tongue. Clary was in distress. In distress.

His friend looked up at him from behind a strand of hair as if sensing his struggle but, judging by the nearly imperceptible untrackable movement of her eyebrows, refusing to acknowledge it. She headed on.

“Like, Izzy isn't really like anyone I've ever met before? And it's so - uh, exciting? Just to see her, like, do things her way. From the start she's made me feel like I belong, when, like, no one else really bothered to try?” Clary exhaled and shook her head. “I don't know. Maybe that's a bit much. I mean, what if we start dating and it immediately goes sideways? It’s just - we have too much history together. Maybe that doesn’t make any sense?”

Simon frowned. “No, I get it. She's really important to you.” He tilted his head to catch Clary’s gaze again. “And I know you’re really important to her. I don’t think one bad date could end your friendship. Also, you’ve known her for a year. If you want to call that ‘too much history’, I guess it might be, but when has that ever stopped you?”

Clary barked out a laugh. “Yeah, our relationship wasn’t exactly a success, though.”

“Okay, that’s fair, but Izzy isn’t me. And you aren’t the same you you were a year ago. Things are different.”

Clary looked ready to argue again, but kept quiet. Her body language was singularly vulnerable but her expression was more thoughtful than anything, brow furrowed tightly. She picked absently at her fingers which were still stained with oil paints, green and purple and gold. The rain continued its assault on the fire escape.

Eventually, after a long moment of silence, Clary stretched out on the bed next to Simon and, tugging at his shoulder, gently nudged him to lie down too. Clary tilted her head so it was lying against his shoulder and they lay there listening to the city they had been hearing their entire lives. But it was different now, wasn’t it? Simon had super vampire hearing and Clary had her angel ears and this wasn’t the city they had known anymore, because they knew what hid under the surface. But then, well, New York had never been the city they thought they knew. Simon had meant what he’d said: Clary had changed, and he had changed, and their old world felt lifetimes away. A year ago he would have said this was a bad thing. Today, he... wasn’t so sure.

“Should I tell her, do you think?”

“Hmm? What?”

“Izzy.”

“Oh.” Simon tried to get his train of thought off the existentialist detour track. “Uhh,” he said, intelligently, “I don’t know. Give me a sec.”

“Yeah, of course. Can you think while we watch?”

Simon nodded and Clary unpaused the episode. She propped her head up on her hand to get a more comfortable angle at the screen, and Simon’s eyes caught on the rune on her neck, right against the edge of her jawline. That was the first one, the healing rune that had seemed so out of place the night he’d found her by the church. By the Institute. Now, he couldn’t really imagine Clary without the runes, each a different part of her new life. There were the quick, simple ones Jace had drawn in the beginning, joined by the strong, decisive strokes of Isabelle and the slender script that indicated Alec, and of course Clary’s own hand, elegant and curving. Some for protection and some for strength, for courage and speed, fresh ones and older, darker marks. There was a story for every single one. A bit of experience. A battle won or lost.

He didn’t often dwell on this, but it sometimes occurred to Simon just how strong his best friend was. She had been through so, so much and come out on the other side a victor, maybe through luck, but also through sheer stubbornness. It was one of the things he loved (and sometimes loathed) about Clary. Simon was extraordinarily grateful that, even though both of them had lost a life, they had gained a new one, and one that had the other in it.

“Clary.”

She turned her head so she could look at him. One side of her face reflected the flickering lights of the TV. “Yes?”

“I think you should do what you think is best. Trust your gut. You’re gonna be fine.”

Clary looked disappointed. “That wasn’t much of an answer, oh great oracle,” she said.

“Well, that’s the only one you’re gonna get. This oracle is closed for the day,” Simon replied. He crossed his arms over his chest to emphasize his statement. Then, very quickly and stumbling over his words a little, he added: “I just really respect you and I think you’re really smart and have good judgement, and you can sort this out for yourself. Also if anything goes wrong this means you can’t blame me, so–” The rest of the sentence was cut off by Clary rushing to hug him. Her shoulder banged into his chin rather painfully. He would, of course, not have it any other way.

“Thank you, Simon. I love you.”

Simon smiled into Clary’s shoulder. “Love you too, Fray.”

#shadowhunters #shadowhunters fanfiction #clizzy #simon lewis #clary fray #brotp #shadowhunters writing #fanfuckery #finally got this posted on the tunglr as well

16 notes · View notes

lordvonthunderporkvi · 7 years ago

Text

so i decided to write down any thoughts i had while playing episode 3 in google docs and it ended up being 19 pages long whoops

i’m just gonna start off by saying that i am completely not ready for this episode like i can see you, mister eric stirpe, answering asks that say “that one choice made me cry for five minutes straight!” so i’m absolutely terrified and not ready but also unreasonably excited

come on download faster what are we waiting for

why did you restart the download i didn’t tell you to restart the download

hey look it’s FINALLY DONE

i’m actually shaking from excitement

Radar’s doing the narration I’m so proud of my bean

aww his sweet childlike wonder is leaking into his narration

“This game series adapts to the choices you make. The story is tailored by how you play.” yes i know let me play the episode already

oh crap i fell on my face

shut up mister warden you’re voiced by steve from blue’s clues

what’s this piston contraption above my head

well geEZ OKAY NO NEED TO GET HOMICIDAL MISTER WARDEN YOU’RE STILL VOICED BY STEVE FROM BLUE’S CLUES

wow okay Jesse sarcasm is on full blast

so are we like below bedrock or something

geez Jesse has gotten sassy in the past few weeks she’s having a sassy conversation with herself

Jesse turn down the sarcasm

i’m being chased by large henry oh joy

oh look it’s mister warden

wow okay Jesse i knew you were clumsy but i didn’t know you were so clumsy you tripped and somehow managed to flip onto your back

oh okay that’s big hank not large henry

okay so we’re bringing back the lightning from episode 6

aand my computer froze

and we’re back

okay i need to cool it with these notes i’m never going to get anywhere if i keep pausing the game every five seconds

the warden’s head is weird

Jesse you thought he wasn’t there and then he turned out to be Vos don’t even try

aww i was the admin’s favorite

wow okay i would say way to go Jack but you’re probably going to get probed now

and it’s froZEN AGAIN

I’m slowing down the notes so i can actually get through the game so there won’t be many notes now sorry

also Jack’s hair is described as “majestic” and i just

We need to get to the burrows

I DON’T LIKT HE SOUND OF THE “MUSH ROOM”

Oh wait it’s a play on “mushroom”

I dont’ want to go to your office mister warden

NO I CAN’T MAKE THIS CHOICE

OKAY FINE MISTER WARDEN NO NEED TO GET HOMICIDAL AGAIN LAST I CHECKED YOU WERE STILL VOICED BY STEVE FROM BLUE’S CLUES

OKAY GEEZ I’LL JOIN YOU ARE YOU HAPPY NOW

I’m so sorry radar

I FEEL SO BAD

Okay but i actually look really good in this uniform

RADAR OH MY NOTCH YOU ARE LITERALLY GOING TO MAKE ME CRY

Oxblood has wheat okay then

I REGRET EVERYTHING WHY DID I DECIDE TO WORK FOR THE WARDEN

Rob reminds me of Samuel from life is strange

Aww you’re welcome little painter

Brick only refers to himself in the third person

BRICK GOT SENT TO THE INSTITUTE FOR NARRATING EVERYTHING OH MY NOTCH

Yes tell me brick

Oh i bet it’s prisoner x

Oh it is

I’M SO SORRY MISTER TATTOOS I HATE BEING AN ASSOCIATE

IS HE GONNA FIRE ME

PLEASE FIRE ME

Oh it’s the sword

It’s my sword

NO IT’S MY SWORD

NO I HATE BEING AN ASSOCIATE FIRE ME FREAKING FIRE ME WARDEN

THE ADMIN IS HERE COME ON

Oh it’s just a recording

Oh shut up no you don’t

WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT PETRA

Radar i am so so sorry

PRISON RADAR

He’s still just a bean

PRISONER X HAS ESCAPED? HECK YEAH BUDDY RIGHT BEHIND YOU

Okay so I was salty about Anthony posting his playthrough early but I legit like his character ingame

Stop referring to yourself in the third person Radar that’s Brick’s thing

I feel like I’m in a horror game this is legit really unsettling

Who loves mooshrooms that much seriously

I saw you being impressive Jesse

HE’S CHEATING

HE’S A CHEATER

HAHA YES

Oh no is he gonna kill it

Oh okay just shear it

No way am i gonna shear it

Oh they’re applauding me

I HATE BEING AN ASSOCIATE

YES I GOT FIRED

NO WAIT PUT THAT MYCELIUM BACK

OH HEY WE’RE MOVING LOWER INTO THE PRIS- *ahem* sorry, “Sunshine Institute”

IT’S LLUNA

YES CAUSE ALL THE TROUBLE I WANT TO BE SENT TO MAXIMUM WiTH HER

Yes Jesse the “Zombiedespair Institute”

Just break the redstone jesse it really isn’t that hard to figure out

AWW FIST BUMPS WITH RADAR

That is suspicious what does the Admin want with all that zombie flesh

Come on stella help me out

Yeah good stella open up to me

Classic stella worried about zombie smell in her hair

Aww of course i’ll help you stella

OH NO PRISONER X ESCAPED AGAIN

Oh no wait it’s just a zombie wave

Frick come on i got the lever and there’s suddenly a conVENIENT ZOMBIE WAVE GREAT TIMING

YES WE GOT IT OPEN

ADMIN PLEASE PUT ME DOWN GO AWAY I HATE YOU

Just kidding i love you

Okay i’m legit about to scream from excitement the Admin is here

PUT

DOWN

YOU

PIECE

CRAP

JACK’S WORRIED ABOUT HIS HUSBAND AWW

PETRA

STOP

THAT

WHAT

ARE

YOU

DOING

PETRA

STOP

PLEASE

IT’S

YOUR

FRIEND

JESSE

STOP

PLEASE

YES JESSE SAVAGE GIVE HIM A TASTE OF HIS OWN MEDICINE

Aww the warden’s eating cake

NO NOT THE WARDEN PLEASE ADMIN NO

Aww mister warden thought the Admin was mad about the cake

Oh okay I thought he was dead he’s just a prisone- sorry, a “guest”

nonononononono

Petra

Please

It’s me

It’s me, Jesse

Don’t do it

You can fight him

Please

Ay i have a sword

I’m not going to use it of course

But cool i have a sword

I am not going to fight her

STOP

PLEASE

ADMIN, SIR, MIGHTY SIR

PLEASE

DON’T HURT HER

HURT ME

TORTURE ME

KILL ME

BUT FOR THE LOVE OF NOTCH

DON’T

TOUCH

HER

SHE DOESN’T WANT TO FIGHT ME BUT HE’S MAKING HER

NOT

GOING

FIGHT

HER

ADMIN

IF YOU’RE GOING TO KILL ME JUST DO IT

I AM NOT

FIGHTING

H E R

OH WE’RE MAKING A PLAN

GOOD PLANS ARE GOOD

I TRUST YOU PETRA

KILL HIM I WANT HIM DEAD

YES

NOO HE POOFED OUR SWORDS

OH SHUT UP GO SCREW A CHICKEN

wow i just said “go screw a chicken”

STOP

STRANGLING

“All I asked you to do is fight your friend to the death-” UM

Oh is he letting Petra go?

K thanks bye

“Guess I’ll just be my own friend now.” oh now i actually feel a little bit bad i’m sorry mister admin

“I’m gonna have LOADS of friends soon!” what mister Admin are you planNING TO ENSLAVE BEACONTOWN

NFONofhoiwahghjv’pJOIGEJAPI;GHIWAKGHKIVOKILDSFHPOWA

HE’S DISGUISED HIMSELF AS ME AND HE’S GONNA TRICK BEACONTOWN NO PLEASE ADMIN STOP I’LL BE YOUR FRIEND I’LL BE YOUR BEST FRIEND BUT PLEASE

DON’T

TOUCH

THEM

He’s his own champion wow

no stella pleASE-

FDHAOI;FJIFOEWHOIHAV

LET

HER

wait

Is she

Is she going to sacrifice herself

“Take care of Lluna for me…” stelLA

NO NOT LUKAS AXEL AND OLIVIA PLEASE

PLEASE

DON’T TOUCH THEM

PLEASE

P L E A S E

please

Stella

Stella you’re our only hope

please

Why are you apologizing Petra

Prisoner X please help us

llunaaaaa

Petra went to Narnia

Petra i would never give up on you you’re my best friend

Beacontown is worried about me they didn’t know if I was alive

crAP STACY AND STAMPY AND NELL AND BOB AND THE FANGIRL

LUKAS AXEL OLIVIA

I need Beacontown to be safe gosh stella please

Wow okay they are really careful about security in Prisoner X’s cell

NO PETRA JACK RADAR

Look at Jack and Nurm being married

It’s like season 1 episode 3 all over again

Kinda fitting actually

Aww i’ll catch you Nurm

Okay lluna is a boss

No traps? No tripwires? Levers? Motion sensors? Okay good

She’s in a straitjacket that’s .. unsettling

She’s got a gag on that’s arguably even worse

She’s actually insane holy crap

SIZZLE SIZZLE SIZZLE

Xara okay

Um maybe I got the idea that you knew how to escape because you’re a fricking legend up in the other levels

Who’s Romeo

What

The Admin’s name is Romeo

Okay sure whatever why not

So if he’s Romeo was Xara like his Juliet or something

I’m sensing a story

What the heck happened “Any enemy of Romeo is a friend of mine”

I haven’t even known her two minutes and I’m already in love with her

I bet she used to be his champion and they were like really close and then she did something by accident and he got mad and put her down there

I have to leave someone

nurm

lluna

I cant tdo this

I cant do this

No no no no no no no

No i’m actually crying

I think i have to leave nurm

But jack

Jack

Jcak

Nurm

Lluna

Will i be able to get them back though

I cant leave them

I cant leave lluna

I cant leave nurm

Nurm

Jack i’m so sorry

Wait what is she doing

shE LEFT ME BEHIND

XARA-

XARA WE WERE HAVING A MOMENT

XARA PLZ

Okay explosions, death, etc. etc.

Nurm i am so so sorry

I will get you back

I will get you back if I have to rip Beacontown to shreds in the process

I swear it

I’m so sorry

I’m so

Sorrry

She ripped off her straitjacket wow okay

Jack

Jaaaack

Jack I did a horrible thing

I’m so so so so so so so so sorry jack oh my notch

Stop with the “worth it” talk we’re having a we miss nurm moment and you’re getting fifth harmony stuck in my head

Can we take the warden with us

Don’t kill the warden please that would be very rude

Jack stop it we are not in a laughing mood

Aww Petra’s so excited about the weapons

frick i just remembered the admin’s name is Romeo

Okay Xara is actually really pretty wow

I am questioning my sexuality

Aww Oxblood and Geoff the mooshroom are back together

IT’S A “SUNSHINE INSTITUTE” MIRACLE RADAR DON’T DRAW ROMEO’S ATTENTION

aw hugz

Well dang Xara it would be nice to have you around in a big crowd

Are we not getting any armor?

Come on Xara give us time to get armor

Hey it’s Samuel- sorry, Rob

Shut up mister warden you’re still voiced by steve from blue’s clues

SHE WAS AN ADMIN?!

THERE WERE MORE THAN ONE

THAT’S WHY THE ADMIN HATES HER

H O L Y C R A P

W H E E Z E

XARA WAS AN ADMIN

I like you, mister warden, but I’m taking Xara with me and you’re not standing in my way. Nooo way. I don’t want to kill you but I will

HE’S ACTUALLY FREAKING INSANE

He’s dead

ROB

wow okay xara go on murdering people left and right

Actually i don’t care he was gonna kill us all

“IT’S COMPLICATED” MY BUTT

So that’s how she lived long enough to be an “old friend” of his

So basically Romeo de-opped Xara

Ahem- pitiful “Sunshine Institute”, Xara. Don’t attract his attention.

I hope I become an admin that would be cool

Yes I really trust her Jack she hates Romeo even more than we do and the enemy of my enemy is my friend you should know that you’re an adventurer

Be brave Radar make them taste your bravery

Wow those Romeo-zombies were surprisingly easy to take down

OOH SPIDER TENNIS FUN

“How many of these things are there?” All of them, Jack

DANG XARA JUST STAB THAT SPIDER WITH THE BACK OF YOUR ARROW

DANG XARA SHOOT THOSE SPIDERS YEAH

is it evident enough that I love Xara already

NONO LLUNA

Nevermind then why was I even worried in the first place

crAP I JUST REMEMBERED NURM

NUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMMMMM

k i’m good

Yes lluna you go spitting those zombies in the face

YES LLUNA JUMP ON THAT SPIDER YES

RADAR

YEAH FIST BUMPS

Yeah i made a shortcut that’s right

Yes she is crazy radar, yes she is

xaRA

XARA ARE WE LOST

XARA FIX THIS PLEASE

Shut your mouth jack she’s been locked up in a tnt room surrounded in lava wearing a straitjacket for notch knows how many years

SHUT UP JACK OH MY NOTCH

Ooh what’s the diamond spire for

Xara you little- get back here

crAP IT’S AN ADMIN GHAST

IT’S SUMMONING MORE ADMIN GHASTS

MORE GHASTS COME ON

THIS THING IS LITERAL NIGHTMARE FUEL WHAT THE HECK

Woah they’re all attacking the admin ghast

I’m gonna fall and die

YEAH JESSE WHOOP WHOOP

YES JESSE QUOTING JACK

THE IMPRESSION

Yes radar we should lend her a hand

Well that was the quickest choice i’ve ever made in a telltale game

LET’S GO FIND HER

Shut up jack

Oh there’s a spider on her back

It’s no problem Xara

A THIRD ADMIN?

Why was his name Fred

Ohhh he’s dead

How did Romeo beat two other Admins all on his own

ohhHHHH

WE’RE GOING BELOW BEDROCK

“We’re not at the bottom of the world! It only appears that way!” WHAT

Jack calm it she used to be a fricking admin she know what she’s doing

Okay bye Jack

Okay I see where he’s coming from but seriously she’s not an admin anymore

What stairs it’s too dark i can’t see any stairs

Oh now i see the stairs

Where are you going jesse follow xara even jack is doing it

FRICK THAT ENDERMAN SCARED ME

Is that it

THAT’S IT??

“You and 59.2% of players agreed to work for the Warden.” i still regret that decision

More players left lluna huh somehow i thought it would be the other way around

Well duh of course i helped xara

THE ORDER HALL

Hey look it’s Romeo the piece of crap himself

NO NOT THE AMULET

Wait what

Who the heck is that

Romeo you are not the gingerbread man

FRICK THE EYES

HOW IS THAT THE END

WHO IS THE TRANSFORMER GUY

WHERE ARE LUKAS AND AXEL AND OLIVIA AND STAMPY AND STACY AND NELL AND BOB AND THE FANGIRL

WHERE’S STELLA

WHAT’S SHE DOING IS SHE COMING UP WITH A PLAN

I NEED ANSWERS

30 notes · View notes

gold-from-straw · 7 years ago

Text

WIP meme

tagged by @gothyringwald ^_^

1) How many works in progress to do you currently have in progress?

Oooohh kay. My NaNo story, which is original, a fic I couldn’t resist starting for the @drarryexchange, a Fantastic Beasts/Harry Potter crossover which has turned into an epic, and two original books, one of which has been in the works on and off for a couple of years. I know exactly what’s going to happen next, and I still love the story, but I got...ahem...sidetracked...

Plus six million ideas that I cry over because I can’t write them all right now

2) Do you/would you write fan fiction?

I started just over a year ago and I’m addicted ^_^

3) Do you prefer paper books or ebooks?

paper, but ebooks have their place

4) When did you start writing?

I started keeping a diary at 6 and have done so pretty consistently since then. I’ve been writing stories since I was 14, used to write them on lined paper and SEW it together to hand round my friends at school lol! I still have most of them...I lost the very first one, someone took it to read and never gave it back lol. It was about a girl who lived sort of stowaway style on a dhow and rescued some other kidnapped children...she was kickass

5) Do you have someone you trust that you share your work with?

apart from fics which I stick on AO3?! Yeah, kinda - my friend’s an editor and bless her she read my entire first manuscript, printed it out and red-pencilled it, and then hassled me when I mentioned I might just give up on it! I published it as an ebook a couple of months ago ^_^ thank you JJ! My mum-in-law also offered to do any future ones cos she used to edit a magazine and is as much a book nerd as I am, so she’s getting an email with the next manuscript soon!

6) Where is your favourite place to write?

at the Pinto Lounge lol! Actually any cafe, but they’re friendly at that one particularly. But I’ll happily write anywhere, kids’ ballet lessons, kitchen table, bed, wherever I have my notebook and pen, or failing that, google docs or my Tablo app!

7) Favourite childhood book?

I grew up on the famous five, and then used to narrate my life from their point of view, like they were hiding behind the sofa observing me and trying to decide if I was interesting enough to come and play with. I was a weird child who grew up into a weird adult ;) As an older child/teen, the Dark Materials, Harry Potter and Terry Pratchett

8) Writing for fun or writing for publication?

Both? Both. Both is good. The publication gives me a quantifiable excuse for spending so much of my time and brain on writing, even though hubs tells me I don’t need an excuse - it makes me happy therefore I should do it

9) Pen and paper or computer?

both, I plan and do my first draft on paper (old diaries are the best, narrow ruled, loads of space, only 50p in WH Smith in August, really pretty covers - what’s not to like?) and then second (and third, fourth, etc) draft on the computer. It forces me to just get the first draft DOWN and then also forces me to completely re-draft it when I come to transcribe it onto the laptop

10) Have you ever taken any writing classes?

only my IGCSEs. And the extra poetry classes that Mr W started when he noticed some of us were enthusiastic

11) What inspires you to write?

Oh god...I don’t know?! Basically I write what I desperately want to read. If I don’t write it, I’ll be daydreaming it over and over and OVER again!

I don’t know who likes these things! Please tag yourself if you want to do it? Oh, I’ll put down @wanderingnork, @w3-4r3-th3-f1r3, and @rocknvaughn even though I’ve never interacted with them, but because they write fucking beautiful Humans fics and I need someone else to appreciate the pure gold that is that series! And I’m nosey, I want to see if they’re writing any more Elster stuff *rubs hands gleefully*

#writing about writing

2 notes · View notes

shinneth · 5 years ago

Text

Gem Ascension Tropes (General: F - K)

Refer to the initial post for details on this. Here’s the full version on Google Docs.

Face Your Fears: A good chunk of the main cast go through this at least once.

Lapis goes through this just by agreeing to be part of the rescue effort, as she’s terrified of returning to Homeworld and especially isn’t comfortable with possibly facing the Diamonds again. Commitment is another phobia of hers she learns to overcome, as is fusion.

Peridot’s also terrified of going back to Homeworld, though her case is downplayed due to her devotion to Steven. However, it is revealed in Act II via her Video Wills that Peridot also fears returning to Homeworld will jog unpleasant repressed memories that prove how awful Peridot once was as a Homeworld gem (which ends up coming true). Early on, it’s also shown that Peridot fears defining what Steven means to her; she overcomes that when she finally reunites with Steven in Chapter 5, although she’s very uncertain of what their relationship truly is until much later on in Act III. Peridot is constantly paranoid in Act I that she specifically will not come out of the mission alive, but learns to make peace with it while not giving up on avoiding that fate in any way she can. Act III brings a load of other fears, such as accepting her identity as a Diamond hybrid, her inability to fuse (even post-ascension), and accepting herself as a whole; even the tyrannical monster she once was.

Steven’s faced with accepting that not everybody can be saved every time, he can’t force a situation to work out for the best, he can’t always have things his way, and that his pacifistic nature may very well end up getting one or more of his friends killed… meaning his efforts in going out of his way to preserve all life is actually ending more lives than he’s saving.

Failure is the Only Option: Despite Sapphire’s efforts, her vision of how Act I will conclude will not budge on the detail that the last Crystal Gem to escape, regardless of who it is, will fall and ultimately be left behind on Homeworld. This makes Peridot’s goal of making sure No One Gets Left Behind impossible. Peridot tries to defy it and even insists on being the last to leave – so in a worst-case scenario, the failure she can best live down is one where she’s the one who gets abandoned. Despite her efforts, She Can’t Fight Fate, and she ends up being the only Crystal Gem to fail in her own rescue mission.

Family of Choice: The Crystal Gems were already this, but now the family roughly doubled in size by the time GA ends, with all of them living under the same roof.

Fantasy Sequence: The first half of Our Tomorrow is this. It was deliberately invoked as it’s soon explained that this sequence serves as Steven’s gift to Peridot for her 15th birthday – their individual takes on an almost identical dream they frequently have (featuring them as grown up and Happily Married with plenty of kids) combined to make a complete, fully-realized vision they can both enjoy and aim to make a reality one day.

The Farmer and the Viper: In Chapter 8 of Act III, Steven grants a defeated White Diamond an Energy Donation upon request. Even he knows this is a bad idea, but justifies it by acknowledging that the final second chance he’s granting White Diamond now won’t mean anything if she can’t survive Homeworld’s impending destruction. Of course, mere minutes later after being granted this mercy, White Diamond fires an attack straight at Steven and his friends while his back is turned using the very energy he gave her. Her efforts are thwarted by Peridot, who teases a Backstab Backfire in her Tranquil Fury, but refrains from shattering her in favor of savoring the abject horror she inflicted on a Diamond.

Flirting Under Fire: Peridot does this with Rainbow Quartz 2.0, of all people, in Chapter 6 of Act III, though she’s clearly addressing the Steven part of the fusion, as he is the one who initiates the flirting. They’re doing this as they’re battling White Diamond, no less.

Foreshadowing: There are loads of these instances… and several of them are surprisingly unintentional. It honestly warrants its own page.

From Bad to Worse: A common GA trope; Mood Whiplash often ensues when the situation seems to be going well, then takes a nasty turn, and not long after degenerates into a chaotic worst-case scenario. Chapter 4 of Act I is probably where this trend starts, as Peridot goes from being severely abused and traumatized to a very sinister and ominous Heroic Safe Mode before fully breaking down into a Heroic BSoD. The final battle in Act I also qualifies (starts out fine, then Lapis gets poofed, White Diamond enters the fray, kills Yellow and what’s left of Blue, and tops off with Peridot ending up Left for Dead), but no doubt this trope is best represented in Act III’s climax. Homeworld’s inevitable destruction is bad enough, and while the citizens are evacuated, White Diamond trounces the Crystal Gems in battle badly enough to recapture Peridot and make her a permanent hostage when they fuse to become Celadon Diamond. Celadon later destroys the Crystal Gems’ spaceship (which severely injures Greg and kills Pumpkin), and while Peridot finally frees herself from the fusion, Pumpkin’s death causes her to drop an Angst Nuke that only accelerates Homeworld’s destruction and shatters all of the planet’s establishments and modes of transportation, which dooms her allies to go down with the planet. Or, rather, it would have if Steven didn’t step up to help Peridot not only recover, but fulfill an ancient prophecy together that saves everyone.

The Future Will Be Better: Basically the Crystal Gems’ mission statement after the events of Gem Ascension.

Geodesic Cast: Minus Greg, every remaining member of the Crystal Gems who team up to rescue the old guard are characters who have previously been their enemy (or at least had one instance of a severe conflict that warranted being regarded as an antagonist). Greg himself is considered an Expy of Steven.Good Needs Evil: While Steven (as Pink 2.0) is trying to use Epiphany Therapy to heal a broken and grief-stricken Peridot (as Chartreuse), the latter asks about this trope. Steven’s response?

Pink Diamond 2.0: “Do you think you would’ve been so driven to better yourself if you didn’t have that dark past to constantly remind you to always keep going?

Group Hug: In Chapter 5 of Act III: after Peridot finishes expositing on what happened to her during the six days after she was Left for Dead up to the present day (including why/how she became Chartreuse Diamond and what she put them through in that persona), she tells everyone that despite sincerely regretting her actions, she would understand if they opted to not forgive her. Immediately after this, the Crystal Gems rush up to give her a huge, collective hug. Not only to let Peridot know she’s forgiven, but just how badly she was missed and how happy they are to finally have her back.

Growing Up Sucks: This one of GA’s prevalent themes, though it doesn’t take center stage until the post-GA stories where the cast faces the consequences of an End of an Age. Peridot and Steven, two of the youngest Crystal Gems, both face surviving in a world where they can’t avoid growing up too fast, and can’t avoid the overwhelming responsibility that falls primarily on their shoulders once the true Era 3 kicks off.

Gullible Lemmings: Homeworld gems in a nutshell, though they’re only directly helping the Big Bad after they’re pallified, for the most part. The mass of Era 2 Peridots in Act III play this straight, as they not only willfully play the role of decoys for Peridot to stall the Crystal Gems, but confirm they didn’t dare question White Diamond why Yellow, the Diamond who primarily rules over them, is suddenly nowhere to be found. Nor do they ask why they had to be stripped of their limb enhancers (done so to better resemble Hero Protagonist Peridot). Granted, it’s evident that at least for some of these gems, they acknowledge they were pretty much ordered to be this trope on pain of death by White Diamond.

Helpful Hallucination: Peridot’s idealized interpretation of Steven within her subconscious. While he was used (against his will) by White Diamond to fragment Peridot’s mind to make her bend to her will, he feels very bad about it and goes out of his way to care for the imprisoned part of Peridot in hopes of helping her recover. He’s useful in explaining Peridot’s situation to her, and later fills the real Steven in on what’s going on when the latter finally comes to mend her broken mind.

Heroic Second Wind: In Chapter 6, once the battle with White Diamond kicks off, it’s going a little too well for the Crystal Gems. Then they find outthey haven’t been fighting White Diamond at all, but rather one of her hundreds of proxies. This quickly shifts into a Curb-Stomp Battle in White’s favor, Steven and Peridot are kidnapped, and the remaining Crystal Gems are forced to make a tactical retreat to regroup and figure out another way around the White Diamond power. In Chapter 7, some important new details are brought to light that the Crystal Gems can take advantage of, so when they return and find Celadon Diamond as their new opponent, they’re able to make her look like a joke surprisingly easily.

History Repeats: Not outright said, but subtly implied in Chapter 8 of Act III when Peridot’s grief over Pumpkin’s death causes her to cry uncontrollably and set off an Angst Nuke that’s shredding apart the already-crumbling Homeworld. This is a reference to the various stories shared by Pearl, Lapis, Garnet, and Bismuth in Act II’s final chapter about the Unwitting Test Subject gems who preceded Peridot; all of them met a tragic end, and the one who best represented Peridot nearly committed genocide on a global level after finding out the Diamonds executed a friend she was very close to. There are definite parallels to Peridot and Fluorite in that regard, although this trope is ultimately averted when Steven (as Pink 2.0) consoles Peridot (who by this point shifted into Chartreuse) through Epiphany Therapy, which not only pacifies her without resorting to violence, but leads to the birth of the Diamond of Miracles

A more meta example (which has been vocalized In-Universe) is Act I’s premise being repeated in Act III. Sapphire mentions to Peridot if Steven isn’t the one left behind when they flee Homeworld, he’ll personally insist on making a return trip to Homeworld in the near future just to rescue them, even if he’s fully aware that he’s being baited into a trap by White Diamond, who no doubt will use her captive for that specific purpose. Peridot immediately realizes that can result in history repeating, only with a Role Swap between her and Steven/Garnet/Amethyst/Pearl/Connie… which Peridot can’t bring herself to condone. However, as her remaining on Homeworld is still the lesser of two evils, with the hope of actively changing her own fate in the end, Peridot sticks with her decision to be the one left behind if it comes to that. Sure enough, Peridot ends up being the only one who doesn’t escape Homeworld, resulting in this trope happening for Act III (with thankfully a divergent end result).

Holding Hands: Sphalerite and 5XF are notably doing this in the final chapter of This is Who I Am when they follow Garnet inside the beach house. Garnet takes notice to this, and quickly figures out these two are more than friends.

Homeworld Evacuation: Though unconventionally executed, this trope is not only played straight, but has very apropos naming. In Act III, the Crystal Gems are not only focused on saving Peridot (though she is a top priority), but also all of the Homeworld gems as it becomes apparent to everyone that Homeworld will soon cease to be. The planet itself is on borrowed time; by Chapter 5, after the Crystal Gems are fully reunited, Steven and Peridot find a way to combine their powers to poof and bubble every remaining gem left on Homeworld save for themselves and White Diamond, whether they’re healthy or pallid. Then, Peridot uses her ascended powers to transfer all of the bubbles directly to their residence on Earth. Most Homeworld gems aren’t even aware that their planet is on the verge of destruction, but are successfully evacuated nonetheless.

Hope Spot: Most famously done in the climax of Act I where Peridot is mere inches away from escaping Homeworld with her friends, only to trip at the last second and get shut out.

To a lesser degree, this also occurs in Chapter 2 of Act III when Peridot, trying her hardest to resist White Diamond’s influence (after being tortured for nearly a week), suddenly hears Steven’s voice in her moment of despair. She looks and actually sees Steven there, but in doing so, she took her focus off the blade she’s been holding off trying to slice her throat just a moment too long, which results in being Tricked to Death. On top of that, it wasn’t even the real Steven she heard and saw; that was her idealized interpretation of Steven that White ripped from her mind solely to invoke this, as she couldn’t get a Determinator to give in on her own merit.

I Got Bigger: Steven and Peridot get unusual variants of this trope. Steven’s growth was already confirmed stunted per canon, being a hybrid. His Plot-Relevant Age-Up in Act III makes his body mature to match his chronological age (14) and brings along all of the typical burdens such a body carries at that age. This is a growth that permanently sticks for Steven. Peridot also experiences a permanent growth spurt post-ascension (first shown in Chapter 4 of Act III), but hers is more downplayed and subverted since it’s little more than an aesthetic change. Still, she outgrows Amethyst (but due to Steven outgrowing her, Peridot remains the 3rd-shortest of the cast) while getting a more curvaceous body to appear more mature like her fellow gems. This is speculated later on in the post-GA stories as a side-effect from Peridot’s final desire before she conceded to ascend (which was her concern about having a body that wouldn’t make her look like a scrawny brat).

I Shall Taunt You: Peridot deliberately uses this tactic on White Diamond multiple times in Act III to rile her up. To lesser degrees, other gems take this approach with White, such as Amethyst, Connie, Pearl, and Lapis. Also played with by Lapis using a downplayed method of this strategy to keep Peridot in line during Act I. Steven also implements this tactic on Yellow Diamond in Act I.

In-Universe Catharsis: Best shown in Chapter 6 of Act III; during a battle with White Diamond, Peridot catches sight of White Diamond’s neck and is immediately reminded of the massive struggle a few chapters prior that Peridot, despite her valiant efforts and resilience, ultimately lost and ended up with a Slashed Throat. This didn’t kill her, obviously, but that moment was a Point of No Return for Peridot that led to Chartreuse Diamond’s existence, which has its own load of life-long consequences she never wanted to have to be burdened with. Even though it’s tactically pointless, Peridot’s overcome with a desire for revenge, which she does so by summoning a weapon similar to what White herself used and hacks away at her neck. While she hates having to shift into Chartreuse to actually do any damage, Peridot’s overcome with glee when she sees results and hears White’s agony… which only empowers Peridot’s obsession for vengeance. It’s so potent that Steven of all people can’t bring himself to talk Peridot down from her unhealthy behavior. In fact, Steven finds himself endorsing it (due to sharing Peridot’s PTSD as that specific moment felt through his Empathetic Healing triggered a Plot-Relevant Age-Up and similarly screwed with his own life permanently) – and when Peridot entices Steven to join her in the cathartic carnage, Steven actually takes her up on it. Thankfully, it’s relatively short-lived, but hindsight ensures this particular catharsis will be something Peridot and Steven will Never Live Down.

Individuality is Illegal: On Homeworld, of course, and Up to Eleven in the GA continuity. The lower a gem’s class, the more this was enforced.

The Infiltration: In order to pull off a Passive Rescue, Peridot and her group needed to covertly infiltrate Homeworld to reach their imprisoned friends. Since none of them are on a wanted list, there’s no need to resort to disguises; Peridot and the others simply keep to themselves and try their best not to draw attention as they traverse Homeworld. Peridot does later get limb enhancers in Chapter 4, but it’s only a temporary measure and necessary for entering her workstation so she can enact her plan to poof Yellow Pearl in order to get a Skeleton Key for Homeworld.

Internal Homage: Steven and Peridot’s brief romantic scene in Chapter 8 of Act I, where they unintentionally paraphrase their dialogue from their time together way back in Gem Drill (despite their setting and situation being nothing like the episode in question). Steven even hugs Peridot, though in a bit of a different way from before. He recites his “I love you, Peridot” line before kissing her, which makes for a symbolic Relationship Upgrade moment as it contrasts the platonic nature of the scene they’re referencing.

The final scene of This is Who I Am features Steven and Peridot sitting together on the roof of the beach house at nighttime with the moon in full view – a clear call-back to Bottled Up in terms of setting and scenario. Once again, this is deliberately invoked by Steven, who arranged this in an attempt to calm himself and Peridot down by reflecting on simpler times. It doesn’t exactly work as Steven intended it to, but nonetheless it ultimately plays out to the couple’s benefit. This time, it’s Peridot who deliberately recites a line from the previous time (“I like it here.”), and both end up falling asleep together on the roof once more (albeit with cushioning to make it more comfortable for Steven this time around).

Interquel: Gem Re:Ascension Act II ~ Peridot’s Final Logs was originally this when Gem Ascension first came out. The original Act I of Gem Ascension is merely the first two chapters of GA’s current Act I (combined as one chapter), while the original Act II was Chapters 3-8 (also condensed into a single chapter). Following the completion of the original Act II, Word of God made an entirely separate story called Peridot: The Final Logs, which comprised of all 8 chapters of the current GA Act II’s. It was explicitly called an interquel/side-story between Act II and III, and was strongly advised to be read before moving on to Gem Ascension Act III. Act III itself was not worked on until the interquel was completed. Since the interquel was originally a separate story, readers could easily bypass it and move straight on to Act III. When the series was reformatted, the interquel was promoted to become GA’s official Act II and is now properly part of the series (at least, it is in its AO3 incarnation).

Interspecies Romance: Downplayed with Steven and Peridot, as Steven is half-gem. Still, this is the only historical case of a relationship between a gem and a gem-human hybrid.

Until their fusion, Sphalerite, hooks up with 5XF in This is Who I Am. Sphalerite is only ¼ human compared to Steven’s ½, but the point stands

Intertwined Fingers: Steven and Peridot are doing this as early on as Chapter 5 of Act I while Peridot’s being healed. Her healed hand is interlocked with Steven’s, and nearly slips out of his grasp after her Love Confession before Steven invokes this trope to reassure Peridot that he’s not rejecting her.

Involuntary Battle to the Death: Steven and Peridot are forced into this scenario for the entirety of This is Who I Am Chapter 5 by a power-corrupted, partially-possessed 5XF.

Involuntary Shapeshifting: Contained in Act III where post-ascended Peridot and post-awakened Steven shift into Chartreuse Diamond and Pink Diamond 2.0 a few times unintentionally.

Istanbul (Not Constantinople): Following the naming convention of the canon setting Delmarva, Steven and Peridot (or Sphalerite and 5XF) travel to a few places like this across Earth throughout This is Who I Am.

Their first destination is never seen and only mentioned in Plans Change: Kenohten – a mash-up of Kentucky, Ohio, and Tennessee.

Chapters 1-2 take place in the everglades of Florgalina – a mash-up of Florida, Georgia, and North/South Carolina.

Chapter 6 takes place on Millennium Island, which is just another name for the real-life Caroline Island.

It Began with a Twist of Fate: Peridot wakes up after having been poofed during a major battle to learn a lot happened while she was out of commission, and now the majority of the Crystal Gems are in enough trouble on Homeworld that they’re sending an SOS to the few allies they left behind on Earth: herself, Lapis, Bismuth, and Greg. Suddenly, Peridot finds herself actually leading the Crystal Gems into what’s intended to be a Passive Rescue mission… and it somehow ends with the fall of the Diamond Authority, Homeworld’s destruction, a mass exodus of Homeworld gems immigrating to Earth, and Peridot learning the hard way just how little she knew about herself.about Homeworld as a functioning, habitable planet. Not only by White Diamond, but the Crystal Gems as well. Sure enough, Homeworld is entirely destroyed towards the end of GA, although plans are already set in motion for it to be reborn.

Jump Scare: White Diamond’s face. It happens a few times in Act I (Sapphire’s vision), once in Act II (Garnet replaying Sapphire’s vision), and once in Act III (what Peridot last sees before she’s forcibly summoned out from her gemstone). Basically, it’s the Slenderman effect with the static, the visual blips, and the noise that goes with it.

Kid Has a Point: In Chapter 8 of Act II, Connie and Amethyst (who, while being over 5,000 years old, is still considered fairly young by gem standards and emerged after the war ended) quickly figured out the most probable resolution of one of the darkest incidents of Homeworld history – an event that Pearl, Garnet, Lapis, and Bismuth are very knowledgeable about – that was a mystery in how it was resolved. Despite just learning about this legend moments ago, Connie and Amethyst both deduced the Lone Twin Massacre was caused by the Diamonds inadvertently and the one who finally defeated the Ax-Crazy Fluorite was none other than White Diamond.

Know When to Fold ‘Em: In theory, the Crystal Gems COULD have interrupted the forced fusion that would produce Celadon Diamond, but coming fresh off the losing end of a Curb-Stomp Battle and losing both Steven and Peridot to their enemy made it apparent that charging in immediately would only result in casualties, so they instead opted for a tactical retreat to form a new strategy. This ended up working greatly to everyone’s benefit.

Before this, they not only had to leave Peridot behind at the end of Act I due to circumstances beyond their control, but didn’t come back for her until six days later. The Crystal Gems begrudgingly acknowledged they needed to come into their next mission Crazy Prepared to ensure that no one is left behind next time.

0 notes

atlassianreleasenotes · 6 years ago

Text

Jira Software 8.0.0 Release Notes

We’re pleased to present Jira Software 8.0.

Highlights

Look and feel: Scrum and Kanban

Better email notifications

Significant backlogs load faster

Dropping Linked pages count to boost performance

New priority icons

New options in advanced search

Massive performance improvements

Faster indexing

REST API for issue type schemes

Smaller improvements to make your day

Bonus resources

Jira mobile app

Pre-upgrade planning page

Resolved issues

Interested in trying a shiny new version? Don't forget to renew your active software maintenance! Renew now.

Read the upgrade notes for important info about this release and see the full list of issues resolved.

Compatible applications

If you're looking for compatible Jira applications, look no further:

Jira Core 8.0 release notes

Jira Service Desk 4.0 release notes

Look and feel: Scrum and Kanban

We’ve started refreshing Jira’s UI some time ago, and Jira 8.0 brings another wave of changes in this area. This time, we’ve focused on improving the Scrum and Kanban boards and backlogs - these are one of the most commonly used views, and we always aim at making your time spent with Jira more enjoyable and productive.

At the same time, we’ve made sure that these changes don’t disrupt existing workflows or apps, or anything that you’re already accustomed to. Go ahead and try Jira 8.0 to see the changes for yourself, we’re pretty sure you'll enjoy them, just as we do!

Better email notifications

With every issue update sent in a separate email, email notifications can get overwhelming. Digging through a pile of emails first thing in the morning is never a good idea, that’s why we’ve embarked on a mission to make notifications smarter, and less chatty.

In Jira 8.0, you can batch events that occur close together, and receive them in a single summary email. Every email like that groups events that occurred in a single issue within the 10-minute window, and is very helpful when you’re doing any bulk updates, or when your teammates create issues and fill them in in one go. Here’s how a summary email looks:

Your Jira admin can enable this feature by going to (cogwheel) > System > Batching email notifications. Learn more

Significant backlogs load faster

Big backlogs can take time to load, and teams usually work with a small chunk of the issues at a time. Knowing this and striving to make backlogs render faster, we've changed the default to display only 100 issues (90 from the top and 10 from the bottom) from your backlog. The remaining issues can be displayed if you click Show all issues.

On top of this change, we've introduced a number of backend changes that resulted in faster initial loading. For example, when we tested a backlog of 10K issues, it loaded in 4 secs as opposed to 85 secs in earlier versions of Jira.

Dropping Linked pages count to boost performance

To significantly improve Jira performance, we've decided to drop the count of pages linked to epics and sprints. You can still track linked pages and see if there are multiple pages linked but the exact count in numbers is no longer there.

This change does wonders to Jira performance, so no count no cry in this case.

New priority icons

We’ve got a lot of feedback about our priority icons not being distinctive or accessible, and we have to agree with that. Finally, after countless hours of designing, user testing, and even looking for inspiration in Egyptian hieroglyphs, we’ve decided on a set of simple and clear icons that will make it easier to distinguish what needs to be done first. Here’s a comparison of old and new icons that you’ll be seeing around Jira:

New options in advanced search

Here are some new options that you can use when searching for issues with advanced search:

Find authors (updatedBy)

Search for issues that were updated by a specific user, within a specified time range. Whether you’re looking for issues updated in the last 8 hours, two months, or between June and September 2017 - we’ve got you covered. Learn more

Find link types (issueLinkType)

Search for issues that are linked with other issues by particular link types, like blocks or is duplicated by. This will help you quickly find any related blockers, duplicates, and other issues that affect your work. Learn more

Massive performance improvements

Because of the changes and improvements we’ve introduced, Jira 8.0 is significantly faster than the previous versions. It’s not only about faster indexing that you can read about below, but also the most commonly used views, like boards and backlogs.

Here are some sample results that we’ve observed when comparing Jira 8.0 to Jira 7.13 (2 million issues):

Viewing boards improved by 62% (Data Center: 60%)

Viewing backlogs improved by 87% (Data Center: 87%)

Searching with JQL improved by 33% (Data Center: 31%)

Browsing boards improved by 16% (Data Center: 22%)

We’ve also observed significant improvements (30 - 50%) when testing a typical action (mean of all actions that we run in our tests) in Jira containing different data sets (increased number of projects, issues, boards, workflows, and so on).

To see all results, go to Performance and scale testing.

Faster indexing

One of the big changes coming in Jira 8.0 is the upgrade of Lucene, Jira’s search-based subsystem engine. Though not visible at first glance like other user features, this change brings significant improvements to indexing, which makes it easier to administer and maintain your Jira instance. Here’s an overview of how this change affects indexing:

All of the following performance improvements are based on the Jira 8.0 vs Jira 7.6 comparison.

Reindexing Jira takes much less time Reindex duration is 71% faster (in our tests, a 3h reindex dropped to 53 minutes.) This means less time spent on reindexing after major configuration changes, and quicker upgrades.

Jira indexes are smaller, and easier to maintain Index size has shrunk by 48% (in our tests, the index size dropped from 19GB to 9.9GB.) This means a faster, more stable Jira that is easier to maintain and troubleshoot.

Jira performance is stable over time No need to reindex often, as performance stays consistent and doesn’t degrade with time.

Jira is more stable and predictable Memory issues that occurred with intensive search functions, like very complex JQLs, are nonexistent in our 8.0 tests.

For more detailed performance results, see Performance and scale testing.

REST API for issue type schemes

Jira 8.0 brings REST APIs to let you manage issue type schemes outside of the user interface. As a Jira admin, you can perform the following actions:

Create an issue type scheme and associate it with projects

Retrieve individual or all issue type schemes, together with the associated projects

Change or remove projects associated with a scheme

Delete issue type schemes

For more info, see Issue type schemes in Jira REST API docs.

Small improvements to make your day

4-byte characters

Jira now supports 4-byte characters with MySQL 5.7 and later. This means you can finally use all these emojis you’ve dreamed about! Here’s a guide that will help you connect Jira to a MySQL 5.7 database. You can find more details about this change in this suggestion.

Add-ons are now apps

We’re renaming add-ons to apps. This has already changed in our Universal Plugin Manager some time ago, and now Jira follows suit. This change shouldn’t really affect you, but we’re letting you know so you’re not surprised when seeing this new naming in the Jira administration and other pages.

Using sprints when your backlog isn't sorted by rank

The easiest way to move your issues from backlog to one of the sprints is by using drag & drop. This, however, doesn’t work for backlogs that aren’t sorted by rank, effectively making such backlogs very difficult to use. We’ve heard your feedback, and added a way to move your issues to a sprint by right-clicking them, and sending to any sprint you want. More details in this suggestion.

Bonus resources

Performance and scale testing

With every Jira release, we’re publishing a performance and scaling report that compares performance of the current Jira version with the previous one. The report also contains results of how various data dimensions (number of custom fields, issues, projects, and so on) affect Jira, so you can check which of these data dimensions should be limited to give best results when scaling Jira. You can get the report for Jira 8.0 here.

Security overview and advisories

We’ve created a document for system administrators who want to evaluate the security of the Jira application. The document answers a number of questions that commonly come up when customers ask us about the security of our product. It will also list any security advisories published for Jira 8.0. You can view it here.

Jira Software mobile app - soon to follow the 8.0 release

We’re excited to share that Jira 8.0 will come together with the Jira mobile app, currently in beta. You will be able to use the app to view your work on the go and stay up-to-date with anything that’s going on in your projects.

The app will be available for iOS and Android.

Look out for the app on Google Play and App Store.

Pre-upgrade planning page

Now you can plan your next upgrades with a tailored upgrade plan recommended for your instance. It will help you get upgrade-ready by highlighting the important steps you need to follow, populated with up-to-date information that’s specific to your instance and upgrade path.

The pre-upgrade planning page is available not only for Jira 8.0, but also earlier versions (7.4.3+). When you upgrade the Atlassian Troubleshooting and Support Tools app (you can do it from within Jira), this page will appear under (cogwheel) > Applications > Plan your upgrade.

Issues in Release

Fixed: Arrow toggle in issue detail view does not work

Fixed: Remove unnecessary check permission for project in findRapidViewsByProject

Suggestion: Boards - Unnecessary permission checks for issues

Suggestion: Backlog - Epic linked pages trigger extra DB queries

Suggestion: Boards - Subtasks trigger many extra DB queries

Suggestion: Kanban board - IssueIdCallback loads documents to get only id

Fixed: IE11: Kanplan backlog view fails to load due to JS error in EpicsInlineDialog

Fixed: Jira development panel goes out of sync with fecru

Fixed: More > Agile Board will not load ( spinning )

Suggestion: Allow Priority field to display the actual value rather than a colored arrow

Fixed: Scrollbar and its slider are being hidden by backlog and/or sprint header in JIRA 7.4.x

Fixed: Misaligned header on Kanban board

Suggestion: Allow the creation of a sprint when the backlog is sorted by something else than rank

Suggestion: Ability to use sprints when backlog not sorted by rank

Suggestion: Improve the way the Backlog is loaded for better performance and/or rendering of a large number of items

Fixed: Asynchronous cache replication queue - leaking file descriptor when queue file corrupted

Fixed: New line character in issue summary can break issue search detailed view

Fixed: Jira incorrectly sorts options from Select List custom fields with multiple contexts

Fixed: DefaultShareManager.isSharedWith performs user search 2x times

Fixed: Unknown RPC service: update_security_token

Fixed: Copying of SearchRequest performs user search

Fixed: Data Center - Reindex snapshot file fails to create if greater than 8GB

Fixed: The VerifyPopServerConnection resource was vulnerable to SSRF - CVE-2018-13404

Fixed: XSS in the two-dimensional filter statistics gadget on a Jira dashboard - CVE-2018-13403

Fixed: DC index copy does not clean up old files when Snappy archiver is used

Fixed: SQL for checking usages of version in custom fields is slow even if no version picker custom fields exist

Suggestion: Improve FieldCache memory utilisation for Jira instances with large Lucene

Fixed: Search via REST API might fail due to ClassCastException

Fixed: Upgrade Tomcat to the version 8.5.32

Suggestion: Webhook for Project Archive on JIRA Software

Fixed: Deprecate support for authenticating using os_username, os_password as url query parameters

Fixed: JQL input missing from saved filter

Fixed: CachingFieldScreenStore unnecessary flushes fieldScreenCache for create/remove operation

Suggestion: Favourite filters missing in Mobile browser view

Fixed: DC node reindex is run in 5s intervals instead of load-dependent intervals

Suggestion: Don’t log Jira events to STDOUT - catalina.out

Fixed: Adding .trigger-dialog class to dropdown item doesn’t open a dialog

Fixed: Issue view/create page freeze

Suggestion: Add Additional Logging Related to Index Snapshot Backup

Suggestion: Add additional logging related to index copy between nodes

Fixed: JIRA performance is impacted by slow queries pulling data from the customfieldvalue table

Fixed: Projects may be reverted to the default issue type scheme during the change due to race condition

Suggestion: As an JIRA Datacenter Administrator I want use default ehcache RMI port

Fixed: Two dimensional filter statistics gadget does not show empty values

Suggestion: Embed latest java critical security update (1.8.0.171 or higher) into the next JIRA (sub)version

Fixed: JIRA inefficiently populates fieldLayoutCache due to slow loading of FieldLayoutItems

Suggestion: Provide New look Of Atlassian Product For Server Hosting As Well

Fixed: Startup Parameter “upgrade.reindex.allowed” Not Taking Effect

Fixed: Remote Linking of Issues doesn’t reindex issues

Fixed: Index stops functioning because org.apache.lucene.store.AlreadyClosedException is not handled correctly

Suggestion: Add Multi-Column Index to JIRA Tables

Fixed: ‘entity_property’ table is slow with high number of rows and under high load

Fixed: JIRA Data Center will skip replication operations in case of index exception

Fixed: Improve database indexes for changeitem and changegroup tables.

Suggestion: CSV export should also include SLA field values

Fixed: Priority icons on new projects are not accessible for red-green colour blind users

Fixed: Two Dimensional Filter Statistics Gadget fails when YAxis is a Custom Field restricted to certain issue types

Fixed: Unable to remove user from Project Roles in project administration when the username starts with 0

Suggestion: The jQuery version used in JIRA needs to be updated

Fixed: MSSQL Selection in config.sh Broken (CLI)

Suggestion: Upgrade Lucene to version 7.3

Fixed: User Directory filter throws a 'value too long’ error when Filter exceeds 255 chars

Suggestion: Add support for 4 byte characters in MySQL connection

Fixed: xml view of custom field of multiversion picker type display version ID instead of version text

Fixed: Filter gadgets take several minutes to load after a field configuration context change

Suggestion: Ship JIRA with defaults that enable log rotation

Fixed: The xml for version picker customfield provides the version id instead of the version name

Suggestion: JQL function for showing all issues linked to any issue by a given issue link type

Suggestion: Ability to search for issues with blockers linked to them

Suggestion: Reduce JIRA email chatiness

Source

#jira #jirasoftware #jiraserver #atlassian #atlassianreleasenotes

0 notes

vxltrxn-imagines · 8 years ago

Text

The Voltrons- Heathers AU- KeithxReader

(A/N: Hey guys! Mod Pidge here! I’m so happy to be beginning this project. Some notes before we begin.

Yes, some characters will be majorly OOC. I tried to fit people as best as I saw fit and possible with their personalities, but due to the fact this is an AU following Heathers: The Musical some characters will have to be OOC. One primary example of this is Shiro as Heather Chandler. I chose Shiro as Heather because of the fact he is a natural born leader and a lot of people look up to him. Due to this, he will be bitchier and sassier than regular Shiro. I am editing and changing lines not only to fit the AU, but to try to fit lines the best way to characters too.

Not every scene will happen the same way as the musical, I am still trying to make this my own story as well. As such and because of reasons also stated above, some characters will have different thoughts and ambitions than their musical counterparts. The overall theme will be the same but some lines will be different (don't worry, “Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw” will be the same ;p)

As seen from the above note this is a MATURE SERIES. Heathers is a musical that deals with teen suicide, bullying, homophobia, gun violence, murder and a very mature scene featuring two characters having sex. While this is done in a comedic way throughout, it still isn’t meant for those who won’t be able to handle it.

I hope you all enjoy this series! If you have any questions or comments at any point feel free to send in any questions! I love getting asks <33

PS: Really sorry this first chapter took so long to write, given the fact that Beautiful is an 8 minute song it would naturally take longer to edit, plus I wanted to edit out the parts of her talking to the audience since it wouldn’t make sense in a story like this and had to find a way to replace those information moments. This first chapter alone is 9 pages in Google Docs)

Chapter 1- Beautiful (Y/N) sighed as she woke up. It was the first day of her senior year, and while many would be happy about this, she felt numb and normal. Why? Well, Garrison High wasn’t exactly the best high school. The kids there were just..cruel. (Y/N) walked to school and pulled out her diary as she sat on the stairs to write in it,

“September 1st, 1989. Dear Diary: I believe I'm a good person. Ya know, I think there's good in everyone, but here we are first day of senior year. I look around at all these kids I've known all my life and I ask myself: What happened?” She pondered as she looked up from her diary as kids were walking on, calling out insults to each other as the passed in the hallway,

“Freak! Slut! Burnout! Bug-eyes! Poser! Lard-ass!” They all yelled as (Y/N) shook her head and continued to write, trying her best to remain in her own little world,

“We were so tiny, happy and shiny, playing tag and getting chased.”

“Freak! Slut! Loser! Shortbus!” The yells of her fellow students once again distracted her as she continued writing,

“Singing and clapping, laughing and napping, baking cookies, eating paste.”

“Bull-dyke! Stuck-up! Hunchback!”

“Then we got bigger, That was the trigger, Like the Huns invading Rome” She was about to write more before someone rammed into her on the stairs, despite not being at fault she yelled out, “Sorry!” Before she stood up and started to write now, acting as if she was still writing in her head, “Welcome to my school, This ain't no high school: This is the Thunderdome. Hold your breath and count the days, we're graduating soon.”

“White trash!” Some kids yelled at her as she passed, causing her to sigh internally before continuing (A/N: Sorry if you’re not white I always just interrupted that line as being yelled at Veronica!)

“College will be paradise If I'm not dead by June!” She sighed, before changing her mood and smiling, “But I know, I know, life can be beautiful. I pray, I pray for a better way. If we changed back then, we could change again. We can be beautiful…” She was about to continue internally until she saw a popular shoving someone to the floor, “Just not today.” She finished before running to see the kid who was now on the floor,

“Hey, are you okay?” She asked, offering a hand to help him up, before he helped himself up and yelled in her face,

“Get away, nerd!!” “O-Oh. Okay..” She walked to the cafeteria upset, not understanding why no one around here ever accepted or wanted her help.

“Freak! Slut! Cripple! Homo! Homo! Homo!” The kids in the cafeteria were yelling, causing (Y/N) to roll her eyes at Homo being used as an insult, before she started writing in her diary again as she was waiting in the lunch line,

“Things will get better soon as my letter comes from Harvard, Duke, or Brown. Wake from this coma, take my diploma, then I can blow this town.” She shook her head softly as she continued, “Dream of my ivy-covered walls and smoky French cafes…” Again she was interrupted by someone bumping into her, only this time it was the popular linebacker, Ram Sweeney,

“Watch it!” He yelled at her as (Y/N) breathed through her nose, her anger getting to her more now, “Fight the urge to strike a match and send this dump ablaze!” She was ready to act like nothing happened, until Ram pushed her tray into the air,

“Ooooops.” He said with a smirk as he started to turn around and walk away, until (Y/N) called after him.

“Hey! Stop being such a huge dick!!” She yelled, causing Ram to turn back around and get up close and threateningly to her,

“What did you say to me skank!?” He yelled in her face, causing (Y/N) to flinch scared and back down, “N-Nothing!” “That’s what I thought!” He shoved her slightly again as he walked away and (Y/N) picked up her diary again,

“But I know, I know, I know... Life can be beautiful. I pray, I pray, I pray For a better way. We were kind before; we can be kind once more. We can be beautiful…” She continued before she felt a tap on her shoulder and turned around to see her best friend,

“Hunk! Hey!” She hugged him softly,

“We still on for food night?” He asked sofly “Yeah! You’re on recipe detail!” “Great! I found a new recipe for cake pops!” “Again? Haven’t you tried them all by now?” “What can I say? I’m a sucker for things on sticks” (Y/N) was about to giggle and respond before the quarterback and “smartest guy on the football team” came up to them and yelled,

“Hunk Garbagetruck!! Wide load!! Ha ha!” He yelled as he slammed poor Hunk’s tray on the ground, causing (Y/N) to snap,

“Hey! Pick that up right now!” She yelled “I'm sorry, are you actually talking to me?” He tilted his head intimidatingly,

“Yes, I am. I wanna know what gives you the right to pick on my friend? You're a high school has-been waiting to happen. A future gas station attendant!” (Y/N) responded without missing a beat but started to get more nervous as Kurt approached her more

“...You have a zit right there! Ha ha!” He walked off proudly as (Y/N) shook her head and started writing in her diary again

“Dear diary: why.... Why do they hate me? Why don't I fight back? Why does he act like such a creep? Why won't she date him? Why did he hit him? Why do I cry myself to sleep? Somebody hug us! Somebody fix us! Somebody save us! Send us a sign, God! Give us some hope here! Something to live for”

(Y/N) had finished just in time to see all the kids fawning as three people strutted into the room

“Ah! Shiro, Pidge, and Lance!” (Y/N) shook her head softly at everyone fawning as she sketched out a quick sketch of the three in her diary, and wrote down her thoughts about them as the kids continued fawning around her

“Then there's the Voltrons. They float above it all.”

“I love Shiro, Pidge, and Lance.”

“Lance McClaine. Made Head cheerleader despite being a male. His dad's loaded - he sells engagement rings.”

“I hate Shiro, Pidge, and Lance!”

“Pidge Gunderson. Runs the yearbook. No discernible personality, but her mom did pay for implants.”

“I want Shiro, Pidge, and Lance!”

“And Takashi Shirogane, The Almighty...He is a mythic bitch. They are solid Teflon - never bothered, never harassed. I would give anything to be like that..” She finished her writing as the bell rang, and she followed The Voltrons into the CoEd bathroom. She heard the sound of vomiting, and figured it was probably Pidge. The poor girl had bulimia, and hardly anyone seemed to actually care. (Y/N) hide behind a stall and started writing something as she listened into the conversation that was now happening,

“Grow up, Pidge. Bulimia is so '87.” Shiro called out as he worked on perfecting his eyeliner

“Maybe you should see a doctor, Pidge.” Lance said as he looked sympathetically towards the stall Pidge was in.

“Yeah, Lance. Maybe I should.” She replied weakly. As she replied, a teacher, Ms Allura, walked in,

“Ah, Shiro and Lance.” She started, as the sound of Pidge vomiting erupted again, “... and Pidge. Perhaps you didn't hear the bell over all the vomiting. You're late for class.” She called, as (Y/N) was silently grateful that she had been prepared for this situation, and was ready to come out when the time called for it,

“Pidge wasn't feeling well. We're helping her.” Shiro replied with his arms crossed, causing Allura to chuckle softly, not backing down,

“Not without a hall pass you're not. A week's detention.” She said causing the Voltrons to roll their eyes as Pidge emerged from the stall and (Y/N) came out from her hiding spot,

“Actually, Ms. Allura, all four of us are out on a hall pass. Yearbook committee.” She held out a piece of paper and Ms Allura took it to examine it,

“I see you're all listed. Hurry up and get where you're going.” She said as she started to hand back the hall pass to (Y/N) before Shiro intercepted it to examine it with the rest of the Voltrons behind him,

“This is an excellent forgery. Who are you?” He asked,

“U-Uh (Y/N) (L-L/N). I crave a boon.”

“What boon?” Shiro asked with his arms folded,

“Let me sit at your table at lunch. Just once. No talking necessary.

If people think you guys tolerate me, they'll leave me alone....” (Y/N) started as the Voltrons started to erupt in laughter and walk away before (Y/N) continued with something that grabbed their attention, “Before you answer, I also do report cards, permission slips and absence notes.”

“How about prescriptions?” Pidge asked, stepping out of her position from behind Shiro slightly.

“Shut up, Pidge!”

“Sorry, Shiro…” Pidge got back in her place as Shiro examined (Y/N) who was standing still in front of him, wondering why he was examining her so closely,

“For a greasy little nobody, you do have good bone structure.” He mused, as Lance stepped out of place to join in on it,

“And a symmetrical face. If I took a meat cleaver down the center of your skull,

I'd have matching halves. That's very important.” He said, patting (Y/N)’s back softly as he finished

“Of course, you could stand to lose a few pounds.” Pidge mused as she walked in a small circle around her. Shiro smirked and started singing softly,

“And ya know, ya know, ya know? This could be beautiful. Mascara, maybe some lip gloss, and we're on our way. Get this girl some blush; And Lance, I need your brush. Let's make her beautiful.”

“Let's make her beautiful” Pidge joined in before Lance did too,

“Let's make her beautiful.”

“Make her beautiful... Okay?” Shiro asked, but it wasn’t really a question, and (Y/N) nodded,

“Okay!”

A day passed, and it was now lunch again. Things were going as usual, everyone yelling and insulting and pushing each other, until Ms Allura made an observation,

“Who's that with Shiro?” Everyone’s heads snapped up as they all started watching the door anxiously to get a better look at this mysterious person,

“Whoa! Shiro, Pidge, Lance... And... someone! Shiro, Pidge, Lance... And a babe! Shiro, Pidge, Lance…” They all were confused and were about to state their confusion again until Hunk was able to recognize who this was,

“(Y/N)!?” He exclaimed, shocked that his best friend he’s known his entire life was now drop dead gorgeous. (Y/N) nodded towards him, before she burst into song out of happiness,

“And ya know, ya know, ya know life can be beautiful. You hope, you dream, you pray, and you get your way! Ask me how it feels looking like hell on wheels... My God, it's beautiful! I might be beautiful And when you're beautiful... It's a beautiful frickin' day!”

“Shiro! Pidge! Lance! (Y/N)! Shiro! Pidge! Lance! (Y/N)! (Y/N)! (Y/N)! (Y/N)! (Y/N)!” The kids around them all had started cheering, as (Y/N) was practically jumping up and down in joy. This was the start of a new day, and a new life. Maybe Senior Year wasn’t going to be all that bad.

#(holy hell this is so long)#Mod Pidge #Fic by Mod Pidge #AU by Mod Pidge #Heathers #Heathers Crossover #Shiro #Pidge #Lance #Hunk #Reader #x Reader #The Voltrons #Heathers AU #[ Keith x Reader ]

58 notes · View notes

onestowatch · 8 years ago

Text

Songs For Girls, John Mayer, & Fan Stories: A Q&A With LANY Before They Hit The Road

Pictured: Jake, Paul, Les in our studio office

Los Angeles-based trio LANY is following up their rookie years with some major moves this 2017. Friends Paul Jason Klein (lead vocals), Les Priest (keyboard and guitar) and Jake Goss (drums) will hit the road with John Mayer for seven arena shows in April, followed by a headlining U.S. tour through the end of May. The tour begins on April 24 in Sacramento, CA, and finds the band hitting markets outside of your typical big cities.

The trio has also announced their eagerly-awaited debut album, LANY, set for a June 30 release. If the band’s EPs are any indication, the album should be stellar. Fans who pre-order the album will be treated to the brand new song "Good Girls,” a catchy synth-driven track that offers some serious dreamy disco vibes. Pre-order the LANY record here.

When we sat down to interview LANY, we were happily surprised to discover just how humble the guys are, considering their massively growing and highly devoted fan base. Read below to get the scoop on the trio’s background, their life on tour, and what we can expect when they hit the stage on the second leg of the kinda tour. Tickets are available here.

OTW: Do you remember a specific moment when you had a lightbulb moment that music was your calling?

LANY (Paul): My mom put me in piano lessons at the age of 5, so I was classically trained all the way through high school for like 13 years. I didn’t want to do music because classical piano was not that fun--it was like a rule in the house. But then I got into high school, and I started writing songs about this girl I really liked, and I think that that was kind of when I realized, “Oh this is fun to write my own stuff.”

(Jake): For me it was that movie, That Thing You Do. When I was younger, I took piano lessons for a few years with my brother, but I stopped, but then I saw That Thing You Do, and I wanted to play drums and just be in bands. That kind of jumpstarted everything for me, that movie.

(Les): For me, I grew up in a very musical family but I never knew what my place was going to be in music. I knew I wanted to do something musical, but when I went to college, I was trying to do commercial voice and the school that we went to, Belmont, was like “You know, I don’t know if commercial voice is your thing, maybe you should try music production,” [Laughs] And I was like, alright.

OTW: You guys have toured with a bunch of people in the past--Troye Sivan, Halsey, about to go with John Mayer. How is the transition between being the opener and being the main act?

LANY (Paul): We spent like a year being a support act, and you kind of want to go out there and, you know, give it to them. Yeah! But then there’s no expectations when you’re a supporting act, so it’s kind of easy in that sense. You’re just like, “Let’s just go”--you’ve got nothing to lose almost.

And then you’re like “Oh, people spent money to see us, that’s a thing.” It changes the game; it changes the way of what you’re doing. You get way more thoughtful about your performance and even your production and how things feel when someone comes to a LANY show.

OTW: Do you think it’s given you more confidence on stage?

LANY (Paul): I don’t know if confidence is the word. It’s just a challenge, you know? And when you’re challenged, you grow and you become better. We brought three 6’x6’ LED screens to the last tour. That was awesome. Now it’s like, not necessarily like how can we top that but like, let’s do something different. How do we change it and evolve and bring something fun to this tour? It’s a very thought-provoking and challenging thing.

(Les): That’s the thing about headlining, there’s so many parts to it, and it is more work and all that and it’s a fun challenge. Opening is just like, “Okay we’ve got 30 minutes, let’s just go crush it.” But the headline stuff’s fun because there’s just so much that goes into it.

OTW: Can you give us a little visual description of what someone standing in the crowd will see on this next tour?

LANY (Paul): I can’t because we are in rehearsals right now, and we just loaded the lights into the rehearsal space yesterday to kind of figure out what we’re going to do. I do want there to be a little bit more mystery to the show, so when you’re playing in front of an 18-foot LED wall divided in three, it kind of illuminates everything and everyone, and it’s very much like, “Oh wow.” But now, I want there to be more shadows and more of a mysterious vibe.

youtube

OTW: Have you guys met John Mayer yet?

LANY (Paul): I mean I have, but not. It was a while ago and has absolutely nothing to do with this situation [laughs].

OTW: How do you imagine he’ll be like?

LANY (Paul): Jake has this funny joke that I am obsessed and in love with John Mayer but I also love Pino [Palladino] and his band. We are huge fans of everybody that’s going to be on that stage, so we joke about like if Steve walks by Jake and is like …[to Jake] you do it, it’s funnier!

(Jake): Steve’s the drummer. He’s one of the best drummers in the world. I’m going into it expecting that they’re never going to speak to me; they don’t have to. But I imagine if he comes up to me, and he’s like, “I just want you to know, find a new line of work. Because you suck.” And then I’ll just be like, “Thank you so much for taking time out of your day to speak to me.”

OTW: [Laughs] You’re preparing for that?

LANY (Jake): That’s pretty much it. Yeah, that’s how stoked we are to be there. Just being able to watch that level of talent.

(Paul): Being surrounded by that, I hope that we just pick up on stuff that we don’t even realize, even the way they walk and talk. I’m dead serious--these guys are the greatest to ever do it. I mean John Mayer is the best guitar player in pop music.

(Jake): I think we’ll be a different band after these 7 shows. It’s going to be crazy.

(Paul): So just to see how they talk and interact with each other and walk on stage, off stage, backstage, that kind of swagger--I hope that just rubs off on us, and we can learn and rise. You always rise or fall to what you’re surrounded by, so we’re going to be the worst in the room, and it’s going to be awesome!

OTW: Any funny or particular tour antics that each of you have? You can talk about each other.

LANY (Paul): Jake’s the comedian of the band.

(Paul): We don’t have anything that we do that regular dudes don’t. We’re funny. Oh yeah, we have a guy named Steve who kind of oversees our merch on tour, and he’s got this Google document that gives us every coffee shop pretty much in the world. So he’ll open it up, and we’ll be in like Oslo, Norway, and he’s like, “Alright, here are the top 5 coffee shops.”

(Les): Well, we’re all still asleep, but he’s texting us and he’s like, “When you guys wake up…”

(Paul): Like, I’m bringing my tennis racket on tour, and he likes to play tennis, so I’m like, “Do you have a tennis doc? So you can find the courts?”

youtube

OTW: [Laughs] Wow, amazing. In general, what would you say each band member’s role is--not musically, but in the group dynamic?

LANY (Paul): Jake’s the comedian.

(Jake): I just try to keep the smiles going. Keep the vibe high.

(Les): I probably worry the most, and stress the most; he will level me out.

(Paul): Les will level us out too. Les is really quiet.

(Jake): We also get sucked into passion and vision, and Les is just like, our wisdom grandfather.

OTW: Good balance!

LANY (Paul): He can also fix everything.

(Jake): if there’s anything wrong, we’re just like, go to Les, and he can handle it. We tried to unpack the van once without Les, and it was like we had to get four bands together, because we didn’t know how to do Tetris.

OTW: What has been the craziest fan experience you’ve had (on tour or in general)?

LANY (Jake): Last tour we’ve had people starting to jump on stage.

(Les): When we played Salt Lake this last time, we had some people take time lapse videos of people like rushing into the venue. I thought that was pretty wild; they were just like running over each other.

(Paul): It was fun man--we have some fun people that come to our shows. There is no trying to be pretentious or too cool for school. People just lose their minds at our shows. And it’s fun. Because we’re losing our minds with them, you know? Like we feed off each other.

(Jake): I remember one show, it was in Minneapolis, when Halsey came out, but…was there a barricade at that one?

(Paul): No, there wasn’t a barricade, and we’re playing on like a 2-foot stage. I would be playing “Made in Hollywood,” and people would just be ripping out their hair, like it was just…

(Jake): I remember we were playing “Made in Hollywood,” and this girl was just getting squashed, and she was crying. I was trying to get one of the security guards, and I was like “Can you help this girl?” Because she was hurting, and I stopped playing. It’s just crazy people are rushing the stage and people are getting hurt. It’s been wild.

OTW: Crazy teenage girls right?

LANY (Jake): No, these were like moms…

OTW: Really? [Laughs] Your debut album is coming out SOON--is it going to follow a certain theme or sound?

LANY (Paul): There’s no real theme--we didn’t set out and say, “Alright, here’s the concept and here’s chapter 1,” but it still all feels super cohesive. It’s pretty much like if you were just to open up a journal. If I were to have recorded a bunch of life experiences and emotions and ups and downs, that's what it would be.

OTW: Nice! Last question, which artists are on your Ones To Watch list?

LANY (Jake): There’s a band from L.A. called the Vulfpeck. A lot of is like soul, but they’re younger guys, just amazing musicians. We actually saw a few of them open for John Mayer at the Hotel Café. We’re just always excited when they release stuff.

(Paul): It’s funny because I feel like we’re Ones To Watch and I don’t know who I listen to that’s smaller than us. I love this kid named Matt DiMona. He remixed “Bad Bad Bad,” and he put out an EP last year that I just listened to death. Other that I just listen to these giants, like Frank Ocean, I love Bon Iver… oh yeah Jorja Smith. Who else? I love MUNA! We saw them play at The Teragram Ballroom.

#lany #john mayer #wolfpack #matt dimona #jorja smith #muna #pop #indie-pop #electro pop #tour #indie pop #indie

2 notes · View notes