#and then singing that stupid m to the b song while you scribble it out

[ghostjelliess]

Incurred/acquired dyslexia (i.e. from trauma/concussion) isn't just spelling words wonky when you're tired and not being able to process an uninterrupted string of numbers that surpasses three digits. It's also regularly, and without realizing it, calling ramekins as macrames because the consonant weight feels like the same word in your brain-mouth until one day you can't think of either word and you ask your fiance and then both go look it up, only to realize your fiance now calls the ramekin a macrame. Now you have to explain how that's your bad, the plants hanging in the window things are macrame, sorry for being mean about it that one time.

[art-by-rozzai]

band au headcannons? more likely than u think

tbh i just love found family tropes and band tropes and platonic lamp is the shit

SO

HERE WE GO FOLKS

it’s the schools fault really. it starts as some stupid music theory project where virgil is forced to make friends once again, and do all of the work yet get none of the credit. the requirements seem simple enough-find three-four different instruments and write a song about something you all have felt before

when patton hart, the one of the only kids who’s ever made an attempt to talk to him, asks virgil to join his group of three, virgil decides he’s got nothing to lose and agrees.

virgil plays keyboard/piano and sings. his voice is really good, sounds a lot like tyler joseph from twenty øne piløts. (remember that lmao) his keyboard is his life-the only thing that’s able to help him through his anxiety is music. it’s a lifeline for him. virgil’s keyboard is plain black when the band starts, but when they start to become more mainstream, logan and roman buy virgil a purple piano and paint on a lightning theme. he loves it.

patton plays drums. he started playing because of his fidgeting-he was always tapping his fingers on something and decide to make the best of it!! his drums are a light blue set. (later, clouds are painted on them by roman and virge). playing music is one of his favorite things, but he wishes he had people to play with. his solo group is missing something-so, he starts by asking logan croft, straight a student, validictorian and the band’s best bassist. lo says he might as well, and types his number into patton’s phone before offering a small smile and heading to his next class. then, he talks to roman prince-an incredible gutairist and singer, the lead in almost ever school musical.

logan plays bass. (and cello, but that’s not as important for the story lmao) he likes bass because while it doesn’t stand out the most, it’s crucial to carrying the melody of the song. his bass is decorated completely in a space theme-stars and galaxies line up the sides and the strings have been replaced from black to white. roman and patton worked together to create it and gave it to him for his 15th birthday present. it’s the only gift he’s cried over receiving

roman plays gutair/uke. he also sings a lot, but doesn’t like it as much unless it’s for the school play, where he isn’t worrying about playing an instrument at the same time. the double tasking can screw up his playing a lot. he learned uke first, after obsessing over dodie clark videos. he plays a tenor uke that he decorated with disney stickers, usually on covers because it’s sounds really good with his voice. he plays acoustic and electric gutair, but he seriously prefers acoustic. he decorated his light wood gutair with hand drawn roses in different shades of red. it’s his prized possession.

so now these three friends and one acquaintance are partners! (yay!!) patton sends them all a text to meet at his house on friday, and bring instruments and a smile. virgil shows up ten minutes late (not enough to be rude but enough to not seem too excited) and carries in his keyboard. he takes a seat next to logan, who is sprawled across the couch scribbling into a notebook.

after a few games of never have i ever to get to know one and other more (patton insisted) the four began to work. they discuss topics to write about and suddenly find themselves having a really deep conversation about life and death and feeling meaningless

and they relaize that maybe they have more in common then they thought.

so they start writing. and playing. and writing. and playing. it takes three sessions before they write their first song-it’s called taxi cab. (listen to the tøp song bcuz it’s that but add in bass and a bit of uke)

when the project is turned in, they get an a, and virgil is surprisingly upset he won’t see these friends again. until patton starts inviting him to hang out with them more. and suddenly he feels like he didn’t have a life before patton, logan and roman. everything is going great-he gets to bake and laugh with patton, read and stargaze with logan and watch movies and complain about drama with roman. life is perfect.

until roman suggests they put the song on his yt channel and things start to get crazy. after much arguing, virgil agrees on one condition-they’re faces must be blocked out. romans cool with it, deciding to create a cool thumbnail and simply play the audio. they decide to name the band “sander’s sides” after their highschool, sanders high and the fact they’re all different sides that all come together in the end. the video goes viral overnight.

virgil is panicking. this was just supposed to be some easy project that was over immdiatly and now he’s on the trending page??? this is insane roman i swear to god-

virgil’s not the only one freaking out-logan is terrified. people have never seen him in this way-vunerable and showing a side of himself he doesn’t like that much. if anyone finds out one of the members is him-logan doesn’t know what he’d do. still, the comments are flooded with love for all four members. people are obsessed with this group.

so after some convincing from patton, the group starts writing together more often. they post frequently on youtube, constantly creating more and hanging out together. then they drop their first album, simply called “sander’s sides”, which the fans nickname “self titled”

the album gets insanely popular very quickly. part of the hype is the mystery of who the band mates were-only the friend’s family members and the schools band teacher know. it’s the middle of lunch when lo gets the call from his mother to turn on the radio and he nearly faints. they’re on the radio!!! people everywhere are listening to them!!!

everyone is talking about who the sides could be. fans have started to call themselves the “fanders”

patton lovesssss fan interaction-so he suggests they start responding to fanart/mail! they each are allowed to run one account-patt starts a band snapchat, logan takes twitter, roman creates a band insta and virgil sets up the tumblr account. they all enjoy responding to fan work, especially answering questions that the fans have.

most noteably-w h a t a r e u r n a m e s ?

but logan and virgil insist they dont tell anyone-what if people they know in real life find out that they’re in the secret famous band

that’s when fans decide to use nicknames-

whoever is running the tumblr account constantly makes self deprecating jokes and complains about mental health? anxiety!

the insta runner is very proud of his aesthetic and ability to create stunning pictures of each member without revealing their identity? creativity!

the snapchat runner is the biggest sweetheart ever and constantly send fans inspiring messages and reminders to drink water? morality! (most of the fanders end up just calling him dad tho.)

the twitter runner is the most responsible, is always up to date on politics and sends helpful advice to fanders who need help being adults? logic!!

i’m gonna finish this tmrw but enjoy for now lmao lmao

(check out that kinda similar band idea that idk the name of but can b found when u search “sanders sides lamp headcannons”)

[ourhappylies]

Connor Murphy Fluff Alphabet (DEH) 🌻

A = Attractive what do they find attractive about the other?

He adores how sweet you are to him, even though everyone else treats him like garbage. When you showed up as the “new kid” he was particularly standoffish every time you would ask him for directions or a pencil, but the first time you found him in one of his moods and stayed even when he yelled and cried and told you to leave, he knew you were just as sweet as you were acting and you weren’t going to be like everyone else and leave him in the dust.

B = Baby do they want a family? why/why not?

Connor doesn’t really want children, at least children of his own, but he would definitely consider adopting later on in life. He’s terrified of someone else having to suffer through their teenage years like he had to, and so he doesn’t want to risk passing down the multitude of mental illness and pain to someone he loves more than anything.

C = Cuddle how do they cuddle?

Connor doesn’t have a specific way he cuddles, he just has to feel close to you. He absolutely adores being near you and he adores the way your heart beats just a tiny bit faster around him. You make him feel safe, and there’s nothing he loves more in the world than cuddling with you while you both sleep, no matter what position you two end up in.

D = Dates what are dates with them like?

Dates with Connor are always something to remember. He particularly loves abandoned places, places only you two can find, a safe space for both of you to be completely honest with each other. Sometimes he’ll go before your date to set up the little area you’ll share, whether that be with lights, flowers, or anything else he thinks might possible cheer you up.

E = Everything you are my ____ (e.g my life, my world…)

He always stays up later than you do, and he’ll stare at you while you sleep, grinning like a madman. “You’re the reason I’m even still here, you’re my life,” he murmurs to you in the dark of night, a secret he’d only tell you years later when he wasn’t experiencing constant suicidal thoughts.

F = Feelings when did they know they were falling in love?

He knew he was falling in love after one of his angry mood swings, the first one you saw and the one you refused to leave his side for. He would try to avoid you for a while, too afraid you were too far out of his league until Jared asked you how you and Connor were doing, forcing you to confront him.

G = Gentle are they gentle? If so, how?

He tries to be. He always apologizes for himself and how his illnesses effect not only him but you. He buys you gifts for almost every date, and he shows you a side of him no one else ever gets to see, the side of him scribbled in the backs of notebooks and margins on homework, the side of him tht just wants to be loved.

H = Hand/Hold how do they like to hold hands?

Connor laces his fingers with yours, it gives him something to focus on and something to squeeze if someone starts to piss him off so he doesn’t hurt himself and you can get him out of the situation.

I = Impression first impression/s

His first impression of you honestly wasn’t very nice, he thought you were just faking being sweet, and he thought you would turn on him just as quick as everyone else as soon as you got the hang of things, but when you were still talking to him weeks into the school year, he reconsidered that impression.

J = Joker are they into pulling pranks?

He knows what it’s like to live in fear, and he doesn’t want you experiencing that even for an instant, so he usually doesn’t pull pranks, plus he’s always anxious you’ll get so pissed at him that you’ll leave him and he’s too worried he’ll cross that line to pull pranks.

K = Kisses how do they kiss?

Kisses with him are always passionate and sweet, albeit a little short. If you want more that a soft quick kiss, you’ll have to hold his face there to show him how much you do want him and do love him, and aren’t simply kissing him because he’s your boyfriend.

L = Love who says I love you first?

You have to say it first, because Connor is too anxious that you’ll leave him if he gets too serious. You’ll say it casually, and watch the dumbstruck look on Connor’s face for a moment before realizing what you say and quickly going to apologize and leave before Connor pulls you into one of those rare long kisses.

M = Memory their favourite moment together

His favourite memory is when he brought you to a wedding within.. somewhere in his family, Connor honestly didn’t know. You dragged him to the dance floor, dancing with him most of the night and sharing secrets, giggles, and kisses. He remembers that night like it was yesterday, down to exactly how your hair looked and the way you smiled at him.

N = Nickel do they spoil? do they buy the person they love everything?

Connor comes from money, so it’s not surprising that he’s used to just about everything material he could ever want. He’ll lie to his parents about things he wants just to give them to you, or agree to actually participate in therapy for an allowance just so he can buy you gifts, because he loves seeing how happy they make you.

O = Orange what colour reminds them of their other half?

The colour yellow reminds him of you. It’s such a vibrant colour and he thinks it matches your personality perfectly. Plus his anti-depressants are yellow and that and you are the only two things that seem to make him happy anymore.

P = Petnames what pet names do they use?

Connor loves stupid nicknames, because he loves hearing your laugh. From “Boobear” to “His favourite weeaboo”, he’ll call you anything to make you smile, especially when you’re mad at him for something, or at least giving him the silent treatment.

Q = Quaint what is their favourite non-modern thing?

Connor loves bookstores and he adores the fifties aesthetic. He takes you on milkshake dates more often than anything else, and he’ll dance with you in his room after to the old vinyls he has on his newest favourite thing: his record player. 

R = Rainy Day what do they like to do on a rainy day?

He loves to facetime you or just snuggle in your bed with you on rainy days. They are some of the only days he’s able to sleep, and he loves spending that time next to you. He enjoys having you read to him or just sit with him, playing with his hair, because it helps him fall, and stay, asleep.

S = Sad how do they cheer themselves/each other up

Connor will cheer himself up with videos and pictures he’s taken of you since the two of you met. He loves snapping pictures of you driving or off guard pictures with flowers or snow in your hair, and he loves taking videos of the presents he gives you, no matter how much whining you do at the start of them he loves and cherishes those videos with his whole heart. He always tries to cheer you up with being extra touchy, because that’s what helps him cheer up. He’ll set up cute dates and bring your favourite food and lots of gifts. He loves spending money on you, despite your protests, so he always does it to cheer you up.

T = Talking what do they love to talk about?

He loves talking about books and music. He loves exploring themes with you and he loves telling you his interpretations of things as he loves to hear exactly where you do and don’t agree. Connor has a very analytical mind, but this has in fact started numerous fights since Connor doesn’t particularly like his opinions challenged, as he usually feels that they are instead being dismissed.

U = Unencumbered What helps them relax?

If he’s paranoid, you have to sit with him and touch him and whisper to him, it’s the only way he’ll even begin to believe you love him. If he’s anxious or angry it’s better to keep your distance unless he approaches you looking for your compassion and loving touches. Talking to him and showing him you aren’t leaving is the easiest way to get Connor to relax around you.

V = Vaunt what do they like to show off? What are they proud of?

Connor likes to show off his art, he’s proud of how well he can draw and write. He loves drawing and writing, especially with you as his muse.

W = Wedding when, how, where do they propose?

Connor proposes when it’s just you and him. He proposes during one of your many late night adventures, this one ghost hunting. He leaves clues all night with fake EVPs asking things vaguely about marriage and staging a wedding dress at the end of the hallway (albeit on a vacuum cleaner).

X = Xylophone What’s their song?

All About Your Heart by Mindy Gledhill. He always imagines you singing it to him, and you’re the one person that makes him such a sap. He loves you and he loves singing the song for you softly to help you sleep.

Y = You the ___ to my ___ (e.g the cookies to my milk, the macaroni to my cheese)

“You are the icing on my cake-“ you’d started singing on day, not expecting Connor to come back with the same song, “You are the smile I can’t erase..” He always sings back now, and ever since then he can’t stop saying it.

Z = Zebra if they wanted a pet, what pet would they get?

Connor has always wanted a pet hamster. He wants someone up at night as late as he is, and something that won’t judge him no matter how much he talks about you.

[writeyouin]

Hey! Can i have a Charles x reader one shot based on Epilogue by The Antlers please ? (^^) Oh and the song is originally about cancer (sort of), but can you make it about the reader being suicidal instead ? I understand if it's too much of a triggering topic though

CharlesXavier X Reader – Epilogue

A/N – Her you go reader, a veryinteresting song indeed so thanks for sharing.

Warnings – Trigger Warning – Suicidal Reader. Depression

Rating – M

Charles shook you repeatedly, disbelieving what his senses were showing him. You weren’t dead, you couldn’t be. Yet, as your eyes rolled lifelessly back into your head, there was no denying it. The longer Charles stared, the worse the scene got; he began noticing new things, like the rest of the horrific scene was just catching up. The empty pill bottle was unscrewed on the bedside table, some of the contents strewn on the bed next to you. Dry vomit and spittle clung to your cheeks, remnants of the horrible decisions past. A notepad with a hastily scribbled message, it’s only word, “Sorry,” was next to your abnormally pale palm. How could this have happened? How could he have missed all the signs? Unable to do anything else, he clung to you, feeling your cold seep into him, and let out an anguished, monstrous howl.

With a sickening jolt, Charles woke up, the scent of sweat and fear clinging to him as a painful reminder of the nightmare past. Was it a nightmare? He looked at you, holding himself back from shaking you again lest he wake you. Yes, you were most certainly alive; alive, and dreaming sweet dreams that he would never know. From the day the two of you became a couple, he’d promised never to use his mutation on you; a sign of a healthy, trusting relationship. Despite that promise, he longed to read you now, for how else could he handle the horrible sights which would probably haunt him for the rest of his life. He didn’t however, instead he settled for resting his arm over you, calmed until he could talk to you in the morning.

At the first sight of your smiling face the next morning, Charles was relieved; he didn’t know what had brought on the nightmare but he became quickly reassured that it would never happen again.

“Are you okay?” You asked upon pouring him a coffee over breakfast in the unusually quiet kitchen.

“Hmm?” He moaned blearily, having an unpleasant flashback of the night before.

“You look tired, something wrong?”

“Oh it’s- it’s nothing.”

He stopped, memorising the curve of your face and the way you smelt, using everything he could to reassure himself you weren’t going to disappear.

“Charles,” You grabbed his hand over the breakfast counter, “You’re looking at me weird, if something’s wrong, you can tell me. Don’t get wrapped up in other people’s problems today, just tell me yours.”

Charles sighed, he should’ve known he couldn’t hide things from you, one of the things he loved most about you was your perception. “It’s silly really, I uh, had a nightmare and it keeps coming back to me, that’s all.”

“A nightmare? What about?”

“Oh you know… It was, well… I can’t remember all the details but I’d lost something dear to me and I suppose it’s still bothering me.”

“Aww, sweetheart. You know, I’ll bet I know why it’s really bothering you.”

Charles swallowed uncomfortably, watching you closely as you rounded the table towards him.

“You’re so used to being in control of your own mind that this scared you a little. Don’t worry though, nothing’s going to happen okay? You’ve got this school, you’ve got Hank, you’ve got your abilities.”

“And you.” He added, a little forcefully.

“Yeah… and me.” You brushed off the awkward pause in your speech by kissing the top of Charles’ head before taking his coffee cup away, humming a distracted tune as you washed up.

In the coming months, much like the nightmare, Charles begun to notice little things he hadn’t before, or rather, the little things he noticed before were no longer there. It had started with singing, or the lack thereof. Where you used to sing little ditties whilst washing dishes or cleaning up, you didn’t anymore. Then there was a drop in your usual activities; where you used to find enjoyment, it seemed there was none. After that it was your overall appearance which you were taking less care of than usual. Finally, Charles could no longer sit idly by and watch as you neglected to eat or sleep on a regular basis. However, no matter how often he tried to broach the subject, you would give him your all knowing smile and put his suspicions down to paranoia or over-tiredness. Fear for you is what drove him to his final decision, when you next slept, he would break his promise and look into your mind.

Charles watched calmly as you drifted off to sleep, his mind in turmoil over what he was about to do. He was disgusted with himself but the memory of your corpse spurred him on to what was undoubtedly a necessary evil. Gently, he stroked your temple with his thumb, closing his eyes and submerging himself within your deepest thoughts. Here, while you were sleeping, Charles saw worlds upon worlds, all comprised of the things you loved; each new item presented itself on a new level, he felt almost like Alice, falling down the rabbit hole.

On one level was memories of him such as, the day you both met and your first date, as well as other more menial days in the background.

Another level provided such items representing you hobbies. Then there were islands with your family, imagination, highly valued traits. Upon closer inspection Charles notice that all the islands were behind locked gates, yet still functioning in the subconscious. Then, on the very bottom level, a full length mirror with no glass stood tall, two versions of you stood on either side. One was the very you which Charles loved, colourful and full of life. The other was pale and clammy, she was reaching for the first you with a look that practically screamed for help. Charles wanted desperately to hug that version of you, to find out all that was wrong and fix it; he would reshape the entire universe if it would help you recover from whatever was wrong.

Reluctantly, Charles withdrew from your mind, resolving to search further when you awoke; he’d gleamed all he could from your subconscious, for now there was nothing left to do but wait.

Charles fought not to cry as you aimlessly paced the lake for the third time that morning. Where you would’ve normally picked a spot to read a book or tried (and failed) to skim a stone across the lake’s glassy surface, you simply paced instead. In all his years, he’d seen everything the human mind could throw at him, depression was no different; he’d simply never imagined it would happen to someone so close to him before. Deep down, he knew the real you was in there, attempting to rekindle your old passions to fix the wounds inside. However, without talking to someone or asking for help, even from a stranger, the ongoing battle would be much harder and probably the road to losing you altogether. After much consideration, he realised that his initial nightmare had been your cry for help, whether you knew it or not.

Gathering up all his strength, he approached you, inviting you to sit with him.

“Hey sweetheart, good day?” You asked, sitting on the grass next to him.

“Yes well… (Y/N), we need to talk about something important and I need you to be honest with me.”

“Okay, whatever you want, what’s up?”

“You… You haven’t been well lately and I need you to tell me what’s wrong. You can take all the time you need but please, please talk to me.”

“Is this about the weight loss?” You laughed breezily. “Because if it is-”

Charles slipped into your mind again while you joked on. He gasped as intense emotions hit him like a freight train. Behind your easy smile was tortured, agonised screaming. Fury and self-loathing consumed your waking thoughts, yelling their profanities into the abyss.

“You hate yourself.” Charles whispered, silencing you. “Worthless. Stupid. Not good enough.”

You winced as Charles quoted every bad thought you’d ever had, it sliced in a new way you’d never thought possible. You had thought that the numbness had finally taken over but with each word Charles spoke, the depression bore down stronger than ever before.

“B-Broken-” Charles shuddered, tears now streaming from his eyes unchecked. “You don’t believe I could ever love somebody as damaged as you.”

You cried. It wasn’t sobbing or wailing. You never choked or faltered. You simply cried; fat, silent tears rolled down your cheeks, one after the other.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered.

Charles grabbed hold of you, hugging your waist tightly. He’d never meant to make you apologise, he just wanted to help you; to heal you. “No, don’t ever be sorry for this. I love you with all my heart (Y/N) and we’re going to help you, one way or another.”

“How?”

“It’s a long road ahead and it will be the hardest thing you’ve ever done but you don’t have to face it alone. Please, promise me, you’ll let me help you.”

Charles’ plea rang in your ears, waking something within you that you’d thought was lost, a small spark, tiny though it was; the desire to live. You wrapped your arms tightly around him, surrendering to the overwhelming waves of sadness, fear and pain you’d kept locked up.

“Okay.” You croaked. “H-help me.”