#and then showed me a picture of the crab from Moana

[c-119]

I was drawing a Catalina and my friend thought it was a bare Furby. I’m going to hurtle myself into orbit goodbye

[pynkhues]

It’s officially ~spooky szn~ which means we need a brio Halloween fic, pleaaasee!! Like can you imagine Beth insisting on making costumes for all five kids?? Anyways, even if you don’t have time for this just want you to know that I love your writing and I look forward to any and all fic updates :)

Thank you so much! And haha, happy spooky season, anon. Hope you like it. :-) 

Set in The Centre and Circumference / Domestic Fic universe

“You know, I actually think it looks kind of cool,” Annie tells her, eyes on Beth’s blue-dyed fingers as Beth fiddles with her makeup palette, comparing the shades of skin toned foundation a few shades lighter than Annie’s own. “Like you’ve been finger banging one of those aliens from Avatar or something.”

And just - - god. Beth blanches before she can stop herself, stopping in her ministrations long enough to shoot Annie a look, before refocusing on the task at hand.

“Please never say that again,” Beth says, shaking her head as she throws a dash of grey face paint into her mixing palette with the foundation – gets it all thick and moonish. She tests it a little on her own hand before grabbing her make-up brush, lathering it up and starting on Annie’s face.

“Fine, sorry I’m trying to make your weird blue monster hands less terrifying.”

Rolling her eyes, Beth uses those weird blue monster hands to lay the first layer of ghoulish foundation on Annie’s face. It’s not like Beth isn’t used to it anyway – has dyed enough fabric in her time to know that dying your hands is just an unfortunate side effect. Still, she’s tried everything to get it off – all her tried and true measures, but nothing’s worked, so Beth has resigned herself to the fact that it’s just going to take time.

It’d all been worth it anyway – to see Marcus’ face light up as soon as his eyes had locked onto the Captain America costume. She feels like she’s spent the better part of the month making costumes – dying and sewing and cutting up fabrics, and sure, it’d been exhausting, but somehow not as exhausting as previous years, even with the extra one to make. And god, as weird as it is to think about, she’s pretty sure that that comes down to Rio more than anything else. The second he’d realised he couldn’t talk her out of making them from scratch herself, he’d been more helpful than she thinks even he’d realised – whether that was in organising dinner so she could work on them, or stopping by the craft store, or distracting the kids so she could work, or even just staying up with her, reading on the couch while Beth poured over her sewing machine, taking them both to bed when she stopped making any sense.

“All I’m saying is you could throw something together if you really wanted to come out with us,” Annie says, sucking in her lips when Beth does in instruction, twitching back when Beth paints the make-up hard over her mouth. And Beth knows she shouldn’t be annoyed by this – knows there’s no accusation there, no shame, more just a double check that Beth is really happy for Annie to take the kids trick or treating without her.

It’d become something of a tradition years ago – that Annie would show up and bundle all the kids together and take them out – her endless energy when candy was involved meaning they didn’t turn around until all the kids were dragging their feet, instead of after three or four houses when Beth’s own exhaustion from the lead-up would inevitably start begging her for bed. Annie was forever the Fun Aunt, and Beth was forever - - well, not the Boring Mom, but the Mom Mom. The mom you wanted making costumes, not the one you wanted tagging along to trick or treating and asking if you really needed that extra houseworth of candy, and honestly? Beth was pretty much fine with that.

Anyway, Annie had seemed extra keen this year.

(“With this new neighbourhood?” Annie had said with a scoff when she’d offered. “You know they’re handing out the good stuff, and Sadie deserves every opportunity to gorge on fancy candy as your kids do.”

“Sadie?” Beth asked, arching an eyebrow, and Annie had replied with a shit-eating grin.)

“I’m good,” Beth says now. “Seriously. I have a date with a glass of bourbon, a pizza and whatever spooky movie is playing on TV.”

“You know you don’t have to play Russian Roulette with basic cable anymore, you can actually like, choose your spooky movie now. It’s through this brand-new start-up – I think it’s called - - Netfilm - - no wait, Netflix, I think? Gotta tell you – I think those guys are onto something.”

Beth snorts, getting more make-up / facepaint onto her brush, and opening her mouth to reply, when Emma twirls back into the dining room, her golden dress billowing as she moves. She comes to a stop in front of Annie and Beth, who are sitting opposite each other on the same side of the dining room table – their chairs turned to face each other, the tools of Beth’s day – make-up, sewing kit, hot glue gun, curling iron, sprawled out across the table beside them.

“Mommy, I can’t find my tea set,” she says with a pout. “I want to take Mrs. Potts.”

Emma’s Belle costume from Beauty and the Beast had come together surprisingly well – or not surprising, Beth corrects herself, remembering Ruby’s words earlier that day (“What? Something you made looks amazing? Shocker. You gotta learn to own your talents, B, seriously.”). She’s good at this, after all, and she already had the fabric templates from Emma being Anna from Frozen last year (although Beth had added a few more layers to the Belle skirt to give it volume).

“I think it’s in the playroom, honey,” Beth says, and Emma darts out of the room in a puff of glitter hairspray and gold satin. Turning back to Annie, Beth grabs a small sponge, finds the bruise-purple eyeshadow she’d set aside earlier, only to blink at the look on her sister’s face.

“Okay, so, please remind me why we were robbing grocery stores when you can do that. That costume is - -” Annie kisses her fingers, and Beth grins, batting her hands away from her mouth.

“You’re going to smudge your make-up.”

Which wouldn’t be ideal, Beth thinks, shifting back in her seat. It’d be good to get the kids out of here – Annie’s the last one after all. Beth has already put the finishing touches on Kenny’s Hopper costume from Stranger Things (fake beard and all), Danny’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle one, and Jane’s, which was - - weird, to say the least. Or - - maybe not. The shiny-obsessed crab from Moana feels pretty on brand for her. Hell, she’d even put together Sadie’s - although deciding to go as Karl Marx meant it mostly only entailed getting him a suit which Annie had done, and finding the right wig and faux beard which fell strictly in Beth’s jurisdiction.

At the thought of Sadie, Beth glances out of the dining room, down into the living room, where he’s helping Danny play Jacks (Glenvale Elementary has a Retro Games Club, which is intensely sweet, but also makes Beth feel about a million years old. It’s not like she played Jacks, but she knew what it was.)

She’s pulled from her thoughts by the front door springing open, and she knows who it is from the delighted reactions on the kids’ faces more than anything else. Doesn’t see him though until he steps light-footed through the living room, carrying the seven plastic, pumpkin-head candy buckets and an enormous bag of ghost-shaped candies – each individually wrapped for any trick or treaters they might get tonight. She sighs in relief, mouthing a thank you as Rio spots her, tilting his chin up in acknowledgement. God, she can’t even believe she’d forgotten to pick them up in the stress of finishing the costumes.

Leaning down to fist bump Sadie, then Danny, Rio promptly gives Kenny the pumpkin buckets, directing him to pass them out to the other kids before they head out. Darting over into the dining room, Rio moves easily into Beth’s space, leaning down to give her a quick kiss that makes her blush despite herself, before glancing over at Annie, who’s zombie hillbilly look is almost complete.

“Thought you said your sister was wearin’ a costume?” Rio asks her, forehead furrowed in faux confusion, and Beth bites back a grin, rolls her eyes a little as Annie yanks out her prosthetic teeth to scoff.

“Funny,” Annie says with a snort, scowling over at Rio. “You should take that act on the - - wait. Was that a dad joke?”

Her jaw briefly hangs open, and Rio huffs out a laugh, adjusting his grip on the bag of candy in his arms and heading into the kitchen, away from them. It’s enough to make Annie surge up in her seat, briefly checking the kids aren’t listening before whisper yelling:  

“Don’t give up your day job as violent gangleader, I think your career in comedy is lacking!”

Rio just waves an arm out at her, jogging over to where Marcus and Jane are sprawled out on the kitchen floor, colouring in an enormous haunted house picture Beth had picked up from the PTA. They grin as they see him, and Rio ruffles Marcus’ perfectly quaffed Captain America hair just to make his son gasp, and then immediately starts laughing as he gets his first real look at Jane’s blinged out crab costume. Red cheeked and outraged at Rio’s response, Jane opens her mouth to yell, but then Rio’s swinging her up into his arms, rocking her around, making her cackle like a little lunatic, and just - -

Beth exhales happily, turns back to Annie only to pause.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Annie says, then shrugs, smiling. “Your face. Weirdo.”

“What?” Beth repeats, rubbing at her cheek, like there might be something on it, but she knows whatever Annie saw wasn’t - - well. Beth blushes, dips the sponge back in the bruise coloured eyeshadow and finishes the last one off. “I think I’m done, anyway, so you should probably get the kids out of here.”

“Sure sure,” Annie says knowingly, and when Beth squints at her, she adds: “So you can bone daddy over there.”

“Annie,” Beth groans, a bright flush finding her cheeks as Annie leaps to her feet, grabbing the vanity mirror off the table to check out Beth’s work.

“Not bad, not bad,” Annie says, shoving her prosthetic teeth back in and grinning at Beth in a way that just makes her shake her head, not quite able to hide the affection in her grin. With her messy hair and her pallid skin and her buck teeth and her flannel shirt - - she sort of has the zombie hillbilly look down.

“To the streets, my pretties,” Annie calls, and the kids seem to materialise around her like she’s summoned them, a bustle of energy and attention and joy, and Beth’s grin only falters when Annie leans down and adds: “I’ll text you when we’re on our way back so you can, y’know, hide your shame.”

With that, they’re all out the door and into the bustle of the night.

Beth huffs out a breath, briefly collapsing back into her seat at the dining room table, furiously swiping at her face, the exhaustion of the last few weeks finally catching up to her. Still, it had felt too good, giving them all what they wanted – her four and Marcus and Sadie and Annie too – making them feel so good. She can’t bite back her grin, can’t help but feel the worth in it, even as she leans forwards to start to bundle up her make-up and her craft supplies to pack away.

Only she’s interrupted when Rio suddenly leans over the table in front of her, his body bent as he eyes her off, lips twisted into a soft, barely-there grin. Beth raises an eyebrow at him, her fingers curling around her make-up brush again,

“Sorry, did you want me to do you too?” she asks, brandishing the brush in his face, and Rio rolls his eyes, but grins, pinching the brush from her fingers, grabbing a tissue from her collection to wipe off the last of the make-up. He makes neat, easy work of it and - - right, Beth reminds herself. Sisters.

“You gonna chill now?” he asks her, and it takes Beth a minute to process the words, to lean back in her seat, looking up at him, but then - - she nods, leaning back into her chair at the dining room table, folding her arms over her chest. She looks a little wistfully at the door, that contentedness she’d felt seeing them out of it warming in her belly all over again. But then again - - she wrinkles her nose. 

“At this time of year? Maybe for a week,” she says, her voice dry. “Thanksgiving is just around the corner, after all, and then there’s Christmas, and New Year’s too.”

She’d already found at least four new recipes she wanted to try too – experiments alongside old favourites. The menu for both Thanksgiving and Christmas already half-set in her head.  

“Thanksgivin’, we gonna go to my sister’s place.”

The words are enough to jerk Beth out of her own thoughts, to blink up at Rio, surprise evident in her look, and Rio stares back at her, then away, twirling the make-up brush in his hand.

“Carmen’s always wantin’ to host it, but she’s usually workin’ at the hospital. She got it off this year. Wanted to let her do her thing. Only found out yesterday.”

Beth turns the thought over in her head. It’s not that she’s adverse to it, rather - - she’s just not used to it. Annie’s never wanted to host, and Thanksgiving is the only holiday that Stan’s parents insist on, meaning Beth hasn’t had a Thanksgiving with Ruby since her and Stan were married. And after Dean’s dad died - - well, the expectation was that he’d host it, as the eldest son, and Dean hosting it always meant Beth hosting it, but - - but she’s not married to Dean anymore, she’s with Rio, and all the rules are out the window.

She looks back at Rio, who seems almost a little uncertain, like this wasn’t how he planned on broaching this with her, like maybe he expects a fight, and in the end - -

Well.

“We still have to take something,” Beth says, and Rio’s gaze darts up towards her, filled with a look that he gives her too often – something between amused and annoyed, before it gives way to something that’s just - - just deep and warm, and Beth can’t even begin to explain the feeling it unlocks in her own chest. But then Rio’s flicking the tip of her nose with the end of her make-up brush, and Beth rolls her eyes, going to grab it off him, but he holds it steadily out of her grip.

“I’m givin’ you a cap then, mami. One dessert, one side.”

“There are seven of us,” Beth counters easily. “Plus, Annie’ll need to come, so eight – maybe even nine if she has Sadie too.”

“Then Annie can go buy that nasty ass pasta salad she always does and bring that too.”

“Your son loves that nasty ass pasta salad.”

“He does, and if you don’t think I hold that against your sister, you kiddin’ yourself, darlin’.”

And Beth just laughs, wrinkling her nose, because the pasta salad really is awful, so she figures it’s fair, and her reaction is enough to make Rio boop her nose again with her make-up brush.

“One dessert, one side,” he repeats, dropping the brush back into her make-up bag before flicking off her hot glue gun and her curling iron. “That’s an order.”

And - - well, Beth arches an eyebrow at that, folding back into her seat, staring up at him, still mostly amused.

“An order?”

“Mmm,” he hums, pushing her crafting gear and make-up palettes aside before planting his ass on the table in front of her, kicking his legs out briefly like she’s seen Marcus do, before he’s knitting his hands together in front of him, dipping his head. “It’s a thing bosses do, yeah? Delegatin’. I know you’re allergic to it or somethin’, but - -”

“Last I checked, you weren’t the boss of me,” Beth interrupts, tone a lot less amused now, and Rio just laughs, the sound easy and lyrical in a way that makes her heart leap and also tells her that he fundamentally disagrees with that statement, and Beth rolls her eyes, opening her mouth to tell him all the ways he isn’t, when Rio smacks his hands down on his knees and looks over at her.

“So in all this craftin’ and knittin’ and stitchin’, you get yourself a costume?”

And just - - what? Beth blinks, head reeling back as she eyes Rio off. They’d had only the briefest conversations about Halloween – one that mostly revolved around the kids, or Annie (hell, she’d been surprised by the visible pleasure he’d taken in the prospect of Annie taking Marcus as a part of the Boland kid tradition, but then - - Marcus seems a little more enamoured with Annie than she thinks Rio’s realised). Still, she’d figured it wasn’t really his thing, and she’d been glad for it, particularly since Dean had always insisted on the goofiest, most embarrassing ways of celebrating it.

“I don’t really do costumes,” she says slowly, and Rio arches an eyebrow at her, before pointedly looking behind himself at the stacks of fabric offcuts and the make-up and her sewing kit.

“I mean, for me,” she replies. “Honestly, I just always run out of time, and I can’t exactly just run out and buy something. Nothing ever fits.”

He lowers his gaze to her chest then, reaches out, hooks a finger in the top of her blouse in a way that makes her breath catch. He tilts his head from side-to-side, considering.

“Worse things than a shirt that don’t fit.”

And well – that’s enough to make Beth laugh out loud, her hand finding his wrist, pushing it out of her top.

“I’m not talking about sexy, tight things, I mean like - - buttons that won’t do up and like - - too much fabric in places, and not enough in others and - - okay, you are not hearing me at all.”

Because he’s not, if the hot, amused look on his face is anything to go by, and it figures, she thinks. Guys really don’t get the intricacies of how much women’s clothing has never seen a woman’s body. She hits his leg, and he laughs, head back, and her gaze travels his throat, the long line of his neck, and she really must be tired because all she can think about is how much she wants to lick it.

She shakes her head, cringing a little at herself, before she looks away from him, out across the dining room, towards the kitchen, where Jane and Marcus’ colouring in is still sprawled out across the floor.

“Did you want to dress up?” she asks Rio tentatively, because maybe he does, maybe she assumed too much, but then he barks on a laugh, and Beth jerks her head back around to look at him, wrinkled nose and all.

“Fuck no.”

“You just said - -”

“Wanna see you in a costume. Well,” he laughs hoarsely in a way that pools hot and low in her. “Want to get you into one to get you outta one.”

He hums a little, considering, and it really is incredible, she thinks, a little hysterically, how easily he seems to be able to undress her in every sense of the word.

“Nurse Elizabeth,” he drawls. “You could give me a bath.”

And god - - that pulls her out of any reverie. She knows him sick now, knows him fevered, knows exactly the kind of patient he is, and just - -  

“You would hate that,” Beth says, laughing, and he huffs out a breath, but agrees all the same.

“Hmm,” he tries instead. “Maybe a witch then, huh? Or a librarian?”

Beth snorts, looking up at him, and immediately regretting it. There’s a heat in his look that she’s too used to – but - - there’s something else too, something she can’t place, something that runs deeper, and she shifts a little in her seat, electricity bolting from her knee when he knocks it with his calf.

“Mermaid or some shit.”

“You are not creative with costumes,” she says, trying to lower her temperature, and Rio hums in agreement. The next thing she knows, he’s tugging her up by the arm, and Beth lets herself be tugged, lets him move her between his legs, lets him brush her hair back, lets him unbutton her blouse to her belly button, pull it open enough to press a kiss against the top of her chest.

“Panty model,” he decides, and Beth scoffs – a sound which quickly turns into a gasp when Rio bites the curve of her breast. “Centrefold.”

“You’d hate that too,” she breathes, and Rio laughs.

“Mmm, don’t want nobody else lookin’ at you,” he agrees, and Beth shivers when his hands slip around her back, unhooking her bra with a practiced ease. “Then shit, it’s just pretend, ain’t it? We ain’t us.”

“I like being us though,” Beth breathes, and Rio exhales against her breast.

“Me too, ma. Don’t mean I don’t want to see you in some sea shell bra though, huh?”

And that’s enough to make Beth laugh, to rock against him as he unbuttons her shirt the rest of the way, slips it off her shoulders, and pulls off her bra. He makes a sound in his throat which is just - - so pleased, and it makes Beth keen before she even realises she’s doing it, makes her breathless, makes her shift a little closer, and then he’s sucking a hickey into her breast, his hands groping at her ass, pulling her closer - - so close that his half-hard cock digs into her lower belly, and her own nails are scratching through his short hair, her panties soaking, and god, she thinks, this isn’t fair, how quickly they get here, how much this - -

A yelp suddenly pulls her from her thoughts, and Beth’s head jerks around to find Annie standing in the doorway, her eyes wide and her lips broken into a sort of mortified grin. Beth jerks backwards, covering herself, before changing her mind and throwing herself at Rio instead, poking her head up over his shoulder, using him as a human shield.

“Is this a haunted house, because this is certainly straight out of my nightmares,” Annie says, with a half laugh, and Beth scowls at her.

“What are you doing back here?!” she hisses, and Annie rolls her eyes, striding into the living room and plucking an orange pumpkin bucket off the coffee table.

“Relax, sis, I just forgot my candy collector, not to be confused with your vagina, or like - - gangfriend’s mouth right now, apparently.”

“Annie.”

“I’m going, I’m going, jeez, I thought you were supposed to lighten up when you were getting some on the regular.”

“Ain’t you babysittin’?” Rio asks sharply, hand at Beth’s back, pulling her safely into his chest, and Annie huffs out a breath.

“Yes, sir, I have briefly tagged Sadie in, but I’m going straight back. Right now, in fact. So. Anyway, enjoy your - - this.”

Annie steps back, and Beth glances up at her, her blush only deepening when Annie offers her a pointed thumbs up before disappearing back out the front door. Briefly, Beth hears the chatter of her children, of Marcus and Sadie too – buzzing with excitement still for the night and just - -  

“Oh my god,” Beth says with a groan, burying her face back in Rio’s shoulder, feeling him shift beneath her, before suddenly leaning back, heaving her up off her feet, on top of him on the table.

“Don’t stress,” he tells her, settling her weight on top of him, his fingers gliding over her thighs, briefly squeezing her ass, and Beth just laughs emptily, cringing, because god, Annie will never forget this, and there’s no way she won’t immediately tell Ruby - - hell, she’s probably already texted her.

“I - -”

“No,” Rio says beneath her, kissing her. “Nuh-uh.”

He kisses her again, longer this time, harder, and when it breaks, Beth blinks down at him, her cheeks still flushed, his hand warm now on her back.

“I will stress about it after.”

“I know,” Rio tells her, letting her push up off his chest, folding her arms across her own as she straddles him lightly.

“I can never sit with Annie at this table again.”  

“Don’t think about it too much.”

“I  - - ”  

“Elizabeth.”

Beth stops, looks down at him – at the length of him, his handsome face, his tapered torso. Her blush briefly deepens, the heat in her resparking.  

“We got maybe an hour and a half til they get back.”

She blinks, surprised, almost flails an arm out to gesture but then remembers that her arms are the only things covering her (and god – her hands are still so fucking blue). She shakes her head instead.  

“That’s a lot of time.”

Making a noise in the back of his throat like he disagrees, Rio lowers his hands, settling them on her hips. He nudges up against her, his cock shifting against her cunt through both their jeans, and really - - it shouldn’t be legal – how much she wants him.

“You ain’t got no costume,” he drawls after a moment. “But you can try me on if you want.”

And well - - that’s enough to make Beth snort. She looks down at him, wrinkling her nose, and Rio just gives her a shit eating grin in reply.

“That was bad,” she tells him, and he hums in agreement, before surging up and closing the distance between them.

“Yeah, but shit, ma. Works for us.”

And well, she thinks, pressing her lips hard against his.

He’s not wrong.

[subukunojess]

Chrysalis (Moana)

I cannot believe this is happening, but I am finally finished with a small one-shot for the Moana Spring Break Exchange! @moana-party It took me a long while, but I finished it to the best of my ability. Granted this is short and I probably suck compared to my fellow writers, but I tried. 

Here was my prompt:

Tamatoa discovers a cave that he can fit in filled with a variety of different colored crystals growing from the walls and ground that are glowing almost magically.

@white-fire-the-dragon this is for you! I want to thank you for being my friend, roleplaying with you is really fun, and you draw amazing pictures as well. This might be a different take on your version of Tamatoa. ( @crystal-tama), but I had fun with this.

Without further ado, here is the one shot! When this gets approved, I’ll put this on DeviantArt, AO3, and FanFiction when I get the chance. Enjoy!

Chrysalis

For one week, he laid on his back.

Stuck.

For one week, he called for help.

No one came.

For one week, monsters cleaned his collection bare.

Left him to rot with no treasure to his name.

For one week, Tamatoa couldn't take it anymore.

The giant crustacean took matters in his own claws surviving. He spent most of his time wiggling and moving inch by inch. His only meals were the few smaller monsters who assumed they had an advantage over him, only to be proven wrong. Eventually, the monstrous crab managed to move himself towards a couple of large trees and rock formations that were closet to the geysers. He struggled and heaved, but with great effort, he righted his body back up on his dactyls. After stumbling a little and regaining his balance, he huffed, puffed, and exclaimed his first few words in a while towards the ceiling:

"Thank you for your help! I appreciate it!" Tamatoa sneered angrily. Ungrateful beings not able to help him in dire need. He then scowled at the thought of the infamous 'You're Welcome' response that Maui would give whenever the chance was free. Left a sour taste in his mouth. Another huff and the fifty-foot crab took off.

Tamatoa's immediate thought was to get all of HIS treasure back. However, he didn't have the energy and he doubt that the monsters he stole from before would fall for the same tricks twice. No, he needed time to strategize his comeback. He then thought about holing himself back up in his shell home for a while, even walking a few steps towards the towering structure. But he stopped. He has been out for a long time, so no doubt that another monster would instantly move in to claim his home for their own. And most importantly, the crab was admittedly ashamed. A former King of Lalotai reduced to the bare minimum didn't deserve a luxurious home!

He turned to check on the current state of his shell: a pale, yet brownish gold color. No shine to it. Just dreadfully dull.

So, Tamatoa went past the large shell that touched the watery ceiling and went in search of a temporary new home. Just until he got his strength back.

As he trudged along the landscape, what brought him on his back in the first place replayed constantly in a dreadful mantra: Waking up to find a human pest wearing his treasure. Putting on a show. Almost having dinner twice. Beating up Maui to a pulp while dancing, might he add! And then the pest manages to trick him... with an algae-covered barnacle! The dignity! The worst part of it all was that Maui and his little human were probably celebrating with the power of creation at their disposal, also most likely laughing at the Great Tamatoa's defeat. He snarled and cursed under his breath. Once he returned back on top, he'll personally wipe those grins off their faces.

It took until the moon started to rise on the surface to find a decent place. Nights in Lalotai weren't really a notable difference; just the blue water and atmosphere turning into a darker purple and the bioluminescence of both the creatures and plants faintly glowing. Dashes of faint pink light danced across antennae as Tamatoa spotted a cave in a giant rock formation big enough for the behemoth. All the other caves and shells were either preoccupied or too small. Guess this would have to do.

Before he entered the cave, Tamatoa waved his antennae around the entrance. No recent monster scents. Whoever had lived here probably left or died. After a bit of more inspection, he was satisfied and made his way inside, continuing to survey the interior. So far, it was a typical cave with the occasional coral, algae, plenty of sand, and a couple of stalagmites and stalactites. Even though it was temporary, Tamatoa figured he would have to make some adjustments here and there. His bioluminescence gradually glowed brighter as he went deeper into the cave, seeing a light up ahead. When he entered the opening, Tamatoa stopped and his mouth hung open.

Spread all over the walls, ground, and parts of the ceiling were several crystals, each one a different color. Most were the size of an average human. Others were smaller up to the normal size of crystals, very tiny for the crab's standards. A few of them were up to half his height or took up most of his claw. There were a few crystals in the tunnel, but most of the crystals were sitting in a large and spacious area. To top it off, there was a skylight of water just like his home with fish swimming above him. A shelter, food source, and a treasure trove of crystals. It was too good to be true.

It wasn't gold in the slightest, but after being on your back for a week, staring at dark water all day and night, you'd accept any type of shine at this point.

Tamatoa immediately grabbed the nearest crystal that caught his eye: a yellow one that almost sparkled like gold.

Its beauty revived and perked up his greed. Oh, he wanted his hoard back so badly! After admiring it for a while, he placed it on his shell and grabbed another crystal; a dark blue one with a particular glimmer this time. He held it up above his head and closed one eye to inspect it better, only to see something in the background. He moved his claw and saw a large tendril of water coming out of the skylight as if it were waiting for him.

Tamatoa almost dropped the crystal at the sight, causing the tendril to falter until he caught the jewel again. Confusion and fearful surprise turned into curiosity as he slowly moved the tip of the crystal towards him.

Carefully, the tendril followed the movements of the crystal, entering Tamatoa's mouth as fish swam right through the small current and falling onto his tongue. He pulled the tendril back slowly and swallowed the fish down.

This couldn't be magic, right? Not that Tamatoa was afraid of it. Rather he was neutral of it, seeing the benefits and possible setbacks. But the possibility of finding magical items in Lalotai of all places was rare and overlooked. Was his mind playing tricks on him?

What about the first crystal? Tamatoa angled his eyestalks to see that his shell, which only had one crystal upon it, was now glimmering with a sparkle almost like his former shell. Maybe just a polish away from becoming perfect. Perhaps this was a hallucination or wishful thinking. For the final test, he placed down the blue crystal and picked up a dark violet one. Upon being picked up, a dark purple mist emerged from the crystal and spread out all over the cave, surrounding the crystals and crab into darkness. Tamatoa's bioluminescence now kicked into gear with bright blue and pink lights.

Now the crustacean was convinced. Most of these crystals had magic and they reacted to him surprisingly well.

Blink. Blink. Blink.

.... opportunity and luck called~

Tamatoa started laughing, his glowing magenta eyes, the crystal in his claw, and the remaining crystals surrounding him being the only source of light in the darkness. With such an array of gems filled with power at his disposal, it almost made the heart of Te Fiti look like a plain piece of stone!

He was so ready for round two.

[pengychan]

Te Rerenga Wairua - Ch. 18

Title: Te Rerenga Wairua Summary: Found by the gods drifting at sea, Maui always assumed he had been thrown in it to drown. When that assumption is challenged, there is only one way to find closure: speaking to his long-departed family. But it’s never a smooth sail to the Underworld, and he’ll need help from a friend - plus a token that fell in the claws of an old enemy long ago. Characters: Maui, Moana, Tamatoa Rating: K Prologue and links to all chapters up so far here.

A/N: Well, this chapter got long. But I couldn’t find a good place to split it, so here’s the whole thing - I guess it makes up for the epilogue, since it will be rather short!

***

Taranga had known something was wrong from the very start, when the pain had struck - sudden, agonizing, and all too soon.

She’d brought five children into the world already, four sons and a daughter, and she had come to known the pain of the delivery all too well. But her children had been healthy, all of them born at the ninth month. This time, the pain had come at the beginning of the seventh. It was far too early; from the instant the midwife had come into her home, after her children were ushered outside to play before they could realize anything was wrong, her grim expression had told her as much.

“My baby,” she’d managed to plead, but the woman had shaken her head.

“You have five little ones already, and you can have others. It is you I need to save,” she had said, and save her she did. The pain had ended, but she’d hardly taken notice. All she could do was staring a at the unmoving child, listen to the deafening silence that was never broken by a single wail. The midwife had tried to revive him, but of course it had been for naught. You cannot revive a stillborn. Only the gods can, and the gods were not answering to her prayers.

“Don’t take him away,” was all Taranga said after a long time, causing the woman to pause.

“He should be buried, dear.”

“I’ll do it by my own hand. I need some time with him. Please.”

She nodded, and placed down the child. She’d cleaned him, wrapped in a blanket. It had been the baby blanket of all of Taranga’s children, from Mua down to Roto, and now it was a shroud. The thought should have pained her, but instead it left her cold, as though she was someplace beyond pain. Even physically, she hardly felt any; nothing compared to previous childbirths, because the baby she’d delivered was so much tinier.

“I’ll have someone look after your children for a while longer. Do you wish us to tell them…?”

“Please,” Taranga said, closing her eyes. She didn’t think she would be able to hold it together if she had to tell the children that the baby brother - or sister, Hina always said pointedly to her brothers’ amusement - they’d all be waiting for had arrived too early, and was now gone before his time even started. Taha would probably try to keep a stiff upper lip, the little warrior, but Pae would certainly burst crying, and before long they all would be sobbing. She couldn’t bear to listen to their crying now: it would only remind her of the wails she should have heard that day, and never would.  

I’ll have to tell Ira-Whaki, when he returns.

Thinking of her husband was even worse. Big, strong and a boy at heart, he’d been even more delighted than any of his children to know he was to be a father again. He’d laughed, gifted her a golden hairpin he’d fashioned with his own hands, and left for a voyage with a smile as wide as the horizon, promising he would be back on time to welcome his newest child into the world.

But that child had arrived too early, and his father would return too late.

We didn’t even get to give him a name.

Somehow, it was that thought that got her to finally sit up, and take the still body of her child in her arms. For a moment she stared down at him, hoping against hope to see him moving, to hear him sucking in a breath and wail, but of course none of it happened. Her youngest son never breathed, and he would never have a name. There would be no point to it now; what good is a name if no one ever calls you by it?

Voices outside her home snapped her from her thoughts, causing her to look up. She could hear the voices of children and, higher than them all, Hina’s protests that she hadn’t lost her bracelet of glass beads at the beach, that someone must have stolen it. She was still unaware that she had lost more than a bracelet that day, but soon she and her brothers would be told, and Taranga didn’t want to be there when it happened: she wouldn’t be able to give them any comfort. Not before she got a chance to mourn, not before her child was buried at sea as it was custom, so that his soul could find its way to the Underworld. Then, perhaps, she could be there for her living children without shattering.

So Taranga stood, kissed her stillborn son once, and went alone to do what had to be done. It would be only much later, while running a hand through what remained of her hair, that she’d realize she had forgotten the golden hairpin her husband had gifted her in the sand. She found she couldn’t bring herself to care; it was but a reminder of the child she had lost, and she had no use for it.

For the rest of her life - which would be long and overall happy, with five children to watch grow into adulthood and more grandchildren than she could look after on her own - she’d keep her hair shorn. And, for much of her existence after death, she would look for her lost boy across the Underworld.

She never found him, but never truly stopped trying.

***

“Look at the claws! Hey, can you uproot trees with these?”

“What kind of question is that? Sure I can. Several at once.”

“This is sooo cool!”

“Of course it is. Everything about me is– hey! Keep your hands out of my eye, will you? And quit yanking my antennae! Have human kids always been this nosy?”

“Is this real gold?”

“When did you climb– well, of course it is! No cheap knockoffs on my shell. Wait, are you trying to bite it? What’s wrong with you, kid?”

“Just checking it’s real gold!”

“I told you it is. Keep your teeth off my stuff!”

“Oh! Oh! I have a question! Why are you so big?”

“I eat a lot.”

“A lot of what?”

“Curious human kids with curly hair and a missing front tooth.”

“I don’t believe you!”

“Me neither!”

“You’re totally bluffing!”

“Moana said you wouldn’t raise a pincer on us!”

“Oh, did she? Great. There goes my reputation.”

“What reputation? I never heard of you before. Only of Maui.”

“… Don’t push your luck, kid. There’s a lot of stuff you never heard– what have you got there?”

“A pearl! I found it this morning! Do you want it?”

“What?”

“Moana said you like these things.”

“… What’s the catch?”

“Huh?”

“What, you’re just giving it out for free like– oh! Oh. That’s a present, right? Of course it is. Who wouldn’t want to give me presents?”

“Do you like it?”

“Well, it’s not a bad find for a beginner. Give it here.”

“Can put it up on your shell?”

“If you insist–”

“Hey! You’re missing a leg! Why are you missing a leg?”

“A megalodon ate it.”

“Cool!”

“I didn’t think it was cool at a–”

“How did that go?”

“How big is a megalodon?”

“Is it bigger than a wale?”

“Is it bigger than you?”

“Is it bigger or smaller than–”

The rest of the sentence was covered by Maui’s chuckle. “Well, who’d have guessed? They hit it off right away,” he muttered before taking another bite out of the coconut. He seemed to have absolutely no trouble chewing the entire thing, shell and all, which had fascinated all  the children in the village the first time they’d met - but now their attention was entirely taken by the talking, giant crab monster currently sprawled on the sand. Maui didn’t seem to mind at all, and was observing the scene from some distance away. “Then again, he’s got their undivided attention. Of course he loves that.”

Moana supposed that the introduction had gone as well as they could have possibly hoped. A couple of people had dropped unconscious when he’d first come out of the water, but that had been about it. Her people had trusted her word enough not to panic and Tamatoa, to be fair, had done his best to look as nonthreatening as possible by immediately resting down on the sand. He still towered over everyone, obviously enough, but she supposed it was the thought that counted.

The kids were not supposed to be part of the picture at all, and their parents had all told them to stay behind in the village, but of course that had stopped precisely none of them. That had caused some concern from the adults when they’d suddenly appeared to check out the novelty - more than a few were still eyeing Tamatoa’s claws worriedly - but, overall, they seemed to be coming to terms with his presence quickly enough. Not quite as quickly as their children, but still pretty fast all things considered.

“It went pretty well,” Moana conceded, with no small amount of relief.

Beside her, her mother frowned slightly. “What does he eat?” she asked, causing Maui to shrug.

“Fish, mostly.”

“Mostly?”

“Oh, and a bit of this and a bit of that. He’s kind of a scavenger, not really picky. No need to worry about that - he’s pretty good at catching his own food.”

Tui gave a sigh of relief. “Oh, good. We usually offer food to any guests, but… well,” he said, gesturing towards Tamatoa. “He probably eats more than all of us.”

Moana shrugged. “Don’t worry about that. If you want to get him anything, just pick something shiny. You can’t go wrong with–”

“All right, all right, just be quiet a moment!” Tamatoa’s voice cut her off. “If you shut up I’ll tell you just what happened - in song form!”

Oh. Oh no.

“Nope. I’m not listening to this one,” Maui declared, and stood, reaching for his hook. “Ladies and gentlemen, it’s been great to see you all again, but Moana and I have some sudden, urgent business on the other side of the island. Be back later. Enjoy the show for us, okay? And even if you don’t, for Tagaloa’s sake, tell him you loved it.”

“Wha–” Moana’s father began, but he had no time to say anything more before Maui shifted into his hawk form, grabbed Moana, and flew off quick as lighting.

As much as she disliked flying, Moana had absolutely no complaints this time.

***

“Do you think it’s safe to go back? He can’t be still singing, can he?”

“He could very well be, and you know it. By the way, are you ever gonna stop following us?”

Stretched out in the low waters, the setting sun making his scales look an even deeper red than usual, Pilifeai shrugged. “Well, I don’t have much else to do. Lalotai gets rather dull after a thousand years or two.”

“So what, you just decided you’re going to hang around? Last time you decided to bother humans–”

With a sigh, the giant lizard rolled on his back. He seemed to be enjoying the last rays of sun immensely. “Yes, yes. They had their ancestors chase me all the way back to Lalotai because I apparently wasn’t such a great neighbour.”

Maui raised an eyebrow. “Apparently?” he repeated. “You ate all of the fish and refused to scram when asked to.”

“Oh, was I asked to leave now? And here I thought they tried to skewer me with pathetic little spears. And it’s not like the fish in the sea belonged to them,” Pilifeai pointed out, but sighed at Maui’s glare. “I know, I know. I won’t cause problems this time around. I’m not looking forward to get my tail kicked by the dead again. Or a demigod with a horrible temper, or a human who happens to be able to shrink me at will, or a giant idiot crab who apparently decided the tiny humans are his pets from now on.”

Moana let out a small laugh, finally sitting up on the sand. “It looks more like they decided he’s their giant pet from now on.”

“To anybody but the idiot crab, yes. Let him keep the delusion.”

“Fair enough,” Maui said, only to frown when a cloud suddenly passed in front of the setting sun. It was beautiful to see - the cloud itself looked like it was aflame, the shades of orange starting to give in to the growing darkness of the evening - but it was a reminder than they’d been there for several hours. He sighed, and stood. “Well, maybe it’s time to get back. He’ll have probably stopped singing by now. Should we take the risk?”

Moana nodded and opened her mouth to agree, but words died in her throat the moment the her gaze fell on the sea. Without the rays of the sun making its surface shimmer, the ocean looked darker - and thus it was easy to spot something moving towards the shore, something that shone of an otherworldly light, leaving a trail in its wake. Moana knew what it was, because she’d seen it before, and she knew why it was there.

“Moana? Hello? I said, should we take the ri–” Maui began, only to trail off with a yelp when Moana wordlessly grabbed him by the ear and made him turn towards the ocean. “Ow! What was that abo–” he began, but then he turned his gaze to the sea, and his voice faded into silence. “Ah,” he finally said, and Moana let go of him. He stood straight, rubbing his ear and saying nothing more: he just watched along with her as the shimmering form reached the shore, until something that looked like fine mist rose from the waves and then took on a different shape - until a woman stood on the sand some distance away, like Gramma Tala had once stood on Moana’s boat. She turned to look at them, her expression impossible to see from that far away, and Maui’s fishhook fell from his slackened grip.

“Well,” Moana said, her voice very quiet, “I’ll leave the two of you alone.”

Maui didn’t reply, but she hadn’t really expected him to. She just watched him begin to walk up to the woman - very slowly, so much unlike his usual strides - and then turned to Pilifeai, who was squinting at the woman as though trying his best to see her face.

“I hope you’re not even thinking of eavesdropping this one.”

“Well, after coming this far–”

“Iti haere.”

“Wha– Oh, you are a pain, you know?” Pilifeai grumbled. Moana shrugged, picking him up and settling him down on her shoulder.

“You’re staying like this tonight,” she informed, turning away and starting what was going to be a fairly long walk back to the fledgling village. If Maui’s mother had come now it was likely Tamatoa’s would as well soon, and she wasn’t going to let Pilifeai intrude into that one, either. “Behave and I might turn you back your full size in the morning.”

“You know I can swim like this too, right? What keeps me from going the moment you turn–”

“And risk becoming some big fish’s dinner? Or a bird’s? I am pretty sure I have seen hawks around here,” Moana pointed out, causing Pilifeai to fall silent for a few moments as he tried to think of a retort. He clearly couldn’t think of anything, and he finally sighed.

“I loathe you.”

“No, you don’t. Just stick with me tonight, and you’ll be safe.”

“How about I bite off one of your ears?”

“Go ahead. I heard that roasted lizard is delicious.”

Pilifeai sighed, and settled down across her shoulders. “Ah well. It was worth a try,” he muttered. Moana chuckled and, before going around a bend, she turned to give just one glance back.

“Aww, look at that. They’re hugging,” Pilifeai said, and Moana smiled. There was lump in her throat and her vision was getting a bit blurry, but it didn’t feel bad at all.

“Well. That started out pretty well,” she said, and had to reach out to wipe her eyes before she turned back and resumed walking. “That hug was a long time coming.”

Pilifeai sniffled.

“… Sand in your eyes?” Moana guessed, but she had to wipe her own eyes again even as she grinned, causing the lizard to snort out a laugh.

“And in yours as well. I won’t tell if you don’t tell.”

“You’ve got yourself a deal.”

***

Maui had prepared a short speech for that moment.

Well, maybe not quite a speech, but he’d definitely been thinking up scenarios, and had had a few words in mind to tell his mother, when they were finally face to face. He had rehearsed them in his mind, over and over.

Except that now he didn’t remember a single word. It was hard to remember much of anything with his brain seemingly frozen, unable to process anything but the woman only a few steps from him. To be completely fair, he wasn’t the only one: she was doing exactly the same, just staring at him with wide eyes and not saying a single word. There was a light breeze, but it didn’t seem to touch her, her translucent clothes not moving with it. Somewhere by them the ocean waves still rolled, but they sounded so far away.

Without thinking, Maui brought a hand up to his hair and took the hairpin. He held it out on his palm, so that she could see it - it is me, you see, it’s really me - and her gaze paused on it for a few moments before looking back up at his face. Her eyes moved across his features, as though she was trying to find anything she’d recognize, but how could she? Last time she’d seen him, he’d been a baby… and not entirely formed to boot.

I don’t look like her.

The thought stung, just a little. There really was no resemblance he could see, aside from maybe something about the eye shape. She was taller than most women he’d met, but her frame was so slim it was hard to believe she’d carried him at any point in life, baby or not, and her features were a lot less marked than his own. Maui’s eyes moved from her face to her hair, which was short, uncannily so. Had they never grown back after she cut it to mourn him? No, that was ridiculous, growing was what hair did. Had she kept it short by choice? Had it been because of him, for him? Had she–

“This is where I came to lay you to rest.”

Her voice was quiet, as though coming from a mile away. Maui recoiled, and realized only then that she had turned her gaze to the rolling waves. She stared at them for a few more moments, as though seeing something he could not, and Maui finally found his voice.

“… It is?” he asked, looking around as though hoping to see a village that must have stood near that spot, a long time ago. It was odd to think that, some five thousand years earlier, his motionless body had been brought on those shores to be left to the sea, with Tamatoa watching on, still small enough to go unnoticed. Had he not stolen the hairpin that day, had Maui never met him, he would have never known the truth… and neither would his mother.

“Yes. Or at least, I thought I was laying you to rest. I thought I would never see you again. And then, when the end of my life neared, I thought I finally would. But you weren’t there,” she spoke again, a shaky quality to her voice that made Maui turn back to her. There were tears in her eyes, translucent as the rest of her was, but she was beginning to smile. “But here you are again. Here of all places. All grown up, a demigod, and… oh gods, you look so much like your father!”

Looking back, the statement shouldn’t have surprised him that much; most kids resemble at least one of their parents. But it was unexpected enough for Maui to be taken aback, and so was what she did next - she closed the distance between them and threw her arms around his neck.

“I looked for you for so long,” she choked out, and Maui held her back without thinking. It didn’t feel like holding onto someone of flesh and blood, but she wasn’t incorporeal either, and it was a lot more than what he’d thought he could have. For most of his life, he’d tried his best to keep himself from even wondering what a mother’s embrace would feel like.

“I’m sorry,” Maui heard himself saying. His own voice sounded alien to him, hoarse, and there was no blaming sand in his eyes for that. “I didn’t know– I just assumed you had… since I was left at sea…”

Taranga’s arms tightened their grip, her face resting against his shoulder. “Never, I could have never. We were so eager to welcome you. You were so wanted.”

Something in Maui’s chest, a weight that had always been there - no matter how hard he tried to ignore it, no matter the lessons learned and the knowledge that he was worthy, whether or not those who had brought him into the world could see it - melted away, the familiar ache turning into something else he couldn’t quite define. How do you even begin to call the absence of an ache that used to be such a fundamental part of you, the very core of everything he’d ever tried to be? Maui didn’t know. And at the moment, he found that he really didn’t care.

You were so wanted.

“I know it now,” he found himself saying. “A crab told me. The one who stole your hairpin.”

The sound that left her could have been a sob, or a laugh, or both. She finally pulled back - it took Maui some effort to force himself to let go - and reached to take his face in her hands. “You’ll have to tell me all that happened, because the Manaia’s explanation was quite confusing,” she said, and smiled again, thumbs brushing over Maui’s cheeks. He leaned into the touch without thinking. “Along with everything else you’ve been up to. I’d heard of you, can you believed it?” she added, and laughed. It sounded much deeper than he’d have expected from someone so slim. “So many people coming to the Underworld talking about this great hero, this Maui, and it was you. My little littlest boy, not so little anymore.”

Maui gave a somewhat sheepish grin. “Well, hope you have some spare time, because there is a lot to tell. Some of the stuff I did wasn’t… well, I didn’t really think it all the way through. But overall– wait,” he cut himself off, blinking down at her, the moment what he’d just heard sank in. “Your littlest boy? Do I have siblings?”

Taranga smiled up at him again. No, wait, that wasn’t a smile at all - that was a grin. Suddenly, Maui could see some resemblance all right. “You have five.”

“Five?”

The grin became somewhat sheepish. “Mua, Taha, Pae, Roto and Hina. I asked them to stay behind, because I figured that… well, seeing us all at once might be overwhelming.”

Maui, who’d already started to grin himself, felt a pang of disappointment at the words. “Ah,” said. “I… would like to meet them too, sometime. Maybe next time–”

“Well, that’s good to know,” his mother cut him off, turning to glance at the sea with a raised eyebrow. “Because as usual, they didn’t listen to me at all.”

“… Huh?”

Maui followed her gaze. The sun was almost entirely gone now, the sky beginning to darken, and he could see something approaching fast - five of them, really. They could have passed off as normal sharks, if not for the otherworldly glow around each of them and the translucent trails they left behind. They were coming straight at them - it seemed to Maui that a couple of them were making a point of cutting in in front of the others - and it only took moments before one of them reached land, its form shifting and a man’s voice shouting in victory.

“First! As usual. Is it me or you guys are getting slower with each passing century? It felt like racing with old ladies.”

“You cheated, you lump of stupid!”

“Ho-oh, the old lady is a sore loser!”

“You kept cutting us off!”

“Like you didn’t, Pae. And you still came, what, fourth? Ah well. At least you weren’t dead last. Hey, Roto. Took you a while. Did you get lost on the way?”

“Taha, are we really going to start this aga–”

“All right, get out of the way, all of you. I’ve had to look at your mugs for thousands of years. I’ve got a new brother to get sick and tired of, if you don’t min–”

“I was under the impression I’d asked the lot of you not to come,” Tarange spoke out, and there was an edge to her voice that very nearly caused Maui to cringe. There was something downright scary there, and he found himself thinking he wasn’t really looking forward to ever being on the receiving end of it.

Those who were on the receiving end - four men, all of them almost as broad as himself, and a woman who was taller than at least two of them - immediately fell silent and turned to them, moving as one like trained dolphins.

“Well–”

“We were about to stay behind, but then Mua said–”

“Hey! Don’t go blaming me! We were all in this!”

There was a groan, and the woman - Hina, was that how his sister was called? - rolled her eyes. “Really?” she muttered, and took a step forward. “You can’t have expected us to really stay behind, Ma. Not for one moment. We’ve sort of been waiting to meet this baby brother for some five thousand of years,” she pointed out, and looked straight at Maui for the first time. The others were staring at him too, now, and while Maui was used to undivided attention, it was enough to make him uncomfortable now. So he reacted to it in the only way he knew: with cockyness.

“Well, was I worth the wait?” he asked, spreading his arms with a grin - never mind how much of him sort of dreaded a negative answer. He inwardly hoped that they wouldn’t notice Mini Maui sobbing away on his chest, with Mini Moana patting his back, and that they’d rather focus on the epic feats depicted on his skin. However, Hina seemed to notice none of it. She stared at him in the eye and raised an eyebrow, but a smile was already tugging at the corners of her mouth.

“I’d been hoping for a baby sister, really. But a shape shifter, demigod of wind and the sea, hero of Men and whatnot?” Her face split in a grin. “I’d say that’s the next best thing.”

Later, Maui wouldn’t be sure which one of them had reached for him first; there was a blur of motion and a moment later he’d found himself on the sand, all breath knocked out of him, tackled by what felt like five dozen people instead of just five amongst gales of laughter.

“Oof!”

“Look at this! We looked for you across the Underworld, and you were up here all along!”

“Pulling off the stuff of legends!”

“And getting all the girls, I bet!”

“You left me behind as the youngest brother! The butt of all jokes! That should have been you, you know!”

“Haha! Good look making him the butt of all jokes now! Tagaloa, look at you!”

“Hey, what was that about you lifting the sky?”

“And slowing down the sun?”

“You’re gonna have to tell us everything!”

“And Taha thought he was so great because he got a whale once!”

“Well, it was a big whale!”

“Wait until we tell everybody about this!”

“If you think there’s a lot of us now, wait until you meet everyone else!”

“Yeah, there’s our grandmother wanting to meet you, and then our kids, and their kids, and their kids–”

“There was also a guy called Vailele and his wife, I think she’s my great grandkid or something, and they told us to tell you they said hi…”

“Like, half the Underworld wanted to come see you!”

The tackle had long since turned into a messy group hug, and by the time Maui let go of them they were all covered in sand, half-laughing and half-crying while pretending the latter was only caused by the sand. Standing a few feet away, Taranga shook her head - not without reaching to wipe her eyes as well first. “Kids,” she muttered, and then frowned. “… By the way, where’s your father?” she asked, only to get a few confused look.

“Wait, wasn’t dad with you?”

“We assumed he was with you.”

“No, I assumed he was with you.”

“See, so you were expecting us to turn up!”

“All right, but where’s dad?”

“… Huh, do you think that may be him?”

Pae’s question caused all of them to glance out and sea, which was now almost completely dark. And, in that darkness, Maui could just see something translucent moving in circles, then turning north, then going back and lingering for a few moments before turning west and start swimming again… towards another island.

Behind Maui, there was a collective groan.

“Yep,” Hina muttered. “His sense of direction still sucks.”

Taranga sighed. “Roto, be a dear and go fetch your father before he becomes lost.”

“Uugh, why does it always have to be me? Can’t someone else–” he began, but Hina smacked him in the chest suddenly, and with enough strength to throw him back into the sea with a yelp. His form returned to the likeness of a shark the moment he touched water.

“You heard the boss. Go get dad.”

The shark went without further arguments - though he did raise more splashes than necessary with his tail in their general direction - and Mua looked at Maui with a grin. “The old man’s gonna have a heart attack when he sees you,” he said. Maui raised and eyebrow.

“Can that actually happen after you’re dead?” he asked, doing his best to ignore how his heart was beating somewhere in his throat at the thought of seeing his father as well - someone who looked so much like him, if what his mother had said was true.

Unaware of his thoughts, his siblings shrugged. “We can find out,” Taha muttered, glaring himself a glare from their mother.

“I’d rather you don’t,” she muttered, but her voice was drowned out by Pae’s.

“Hey, shouldn’t there be a magical fishhook? Everyone always mentioned you had one.”

“Right! Is it true that you can shapeshift with it?”

Maui laughed. “Oh, you bet it is!” he exclaimed, turning back the way he’d come. The hook was exactly where he’d dropped it. “Give me a second to pick it up, and I’ll show you!”

Over the centuries and millennia, Maui had impressed thousands of humans with his feats; but he had been aware, deep down, that the ones he had truly wanted to impress were far beyond his reach. Now they were there, at the end of a long road that had led him right back where his life had begun, and he knew that he didn’t need to impress any of them. They had come so far to meet him again, and they would have done so even if he were not, well. Maui.

Still, he was Maui… and he may as well treat his family to a little show, after going almost literally through hell and back in order to find them.

So he went to pick up his hook and turned back to them, and to the two silvery beings that were heading back towards the beach. When he lifted it above his head, he could feel himself thrumming with energy in a way he never had, a weightlessness in his chest he’d never felt. He held onto his hook - still an extension of himself, no longer his crutch - more tightly, and smirked.

It’s Maui time.

***

“All right, all right, here’s the deal: I do it one more time, and then that’s it. Then lot of you goes to bed before your parents here have an aneurysm, because I’m not gonna be held responsible for that. Deal?”

“Deal!”

“Hey, you in the back! I saw you crossing your fingers! No crossing!”

“C’mon!”

“Look! No crossing!”

“Just do the thing! Pretty please?”

Ah well, Tamatoa supposed that he should relent, since his adoring public was asking so nicely. He grinned, and turned on his bioluminescence. It was a moonless night, and it easily outshone the few fires on the shore, getting some pretty loud cheering out of the kids. Humans sure were easy to impress - no wonder Maui got their adoration in no time at all. Had he known how that would turn out, he’d have followed his example way earlier.

“All right, that was it. Enough for the day,” Tamatoa said, and turned off his bioluminescence, causing a disappointed groan and a few protests before they gave in began following the adults back to the village. Truth be told he could have kept that up all night, except that he hadn’t seen Maui and Moana anywhere for a while and was wondering where they had gone. They hadn’t even heard his song, and that was a shame because it was great, if he said so himself. Humans had loved it, nodding so fast when he’d asked that for a moment he’d wondered if it would be possible for their heads to fall off their necks.

The adults hadn’t asked for him to sing again, but the kids had wanted to hear it two more times and even tried to sing along with questionable results, so he supposed humans got shy as they aged. It was the only explanation he could think of. Moana was probably an exception. But really, where had she disappeared to? Maybe he should go looking for–

“Hey,” Moana’s voice rang out suddenly, causing him to recoil. He hadn’t heard her coming at all, and he had to squint a bit to see her in the faint light of the fires on the shore.

“Human! Here you are! I was wondering where you went. You missed– wait, is that Pilifeai on your shoulder? And where’s Maui? Has he gone off again without even saying goodbye? Because that would be really rude and–”

“He hasn’t gone anywhere. At least I don’t think so,” Moana cut him off. “It’s just… his mother came to find him. I figured I should give them some time alone.”

“Oh,” Tamatoa muttered. Taken as he’d been with the tiny humans - he couldn’t remember ever having that much company in his life, really - he’d completely forgotten what both he and Maui had been waiting for. He instinctively turned back, were the profile of a cliff was barely visible in the dark. Long ago, it had been much higher than that… until a good chunk of it had collapsed on his mother, of course.

Once again, Moana seemed to guess exactly what was going through his mind. “That’s where she died, isn’t it?”

“… Yeah. Right by the cave we lived in.”

“What are you doing still here, then? She could show up any moment, and it’s a long way from the Underworld. It would be rather rude of you to make her wait,” Pilifeai muttered, and Tamatoa had to admit he kind of had a point.

“Right,” he said, but he didn’t move. He turned back to the human, trying to ignore the stab of nervousness. “What if she’s not coming?”

She tilted her head on one side, clearly taken aback. “What? Why wouldn’t she?”

“Because… because… I don’t know. What if she doesn’t show up?”

“Then she misses out. But I’m sure she’ll know better. If she came here all the way from Lalotai when she was alive for your sake, then–”

“But she could have come earlier, right? And Gran, too. Your grandmother came back for you. Why didn’t they? They knew where I was. I stayed here for a long time,” Tamatoa asked, but of course he knew that the human couldn’t possibly have an answer to that. He would have to ask his mother when she showed up. If she showed up. How long should he wait before he decided she just was not going to–

“Tamatoa! Look!”

He turned just in time to see exactly what she was pointing at: there was something out at sea, something translucent moving beneath the surface and heading straight where the entrance to the cave was. It disappeared from sight only moments later, hidden by one of the sides of the cliff, but it was enough for him to guess exactly what was it he’d just seen.

“Well,” Pilifeai spoke up the next moment, still sprawled across Moana’s shoulders. “Looks like you’ve got a visitor after all, you dense crustacean. Go and ask her. And possibly let me know what she said, because I’m dying to know more and the human here is a complete spoilsport.”

“Oh, am I?”

“I stand by what they said.”

“Looks like someone is going to stay this size for a while longer.”

“Uuugh. I hate you. And what are you staring at, crab? Are you going or not? Because–”

“Moana? Are you there?”

A man’s voice rang out, causing Moana to turn and Pilifeai to immediately hide under her hair. If he squinted, Tamatoa could see the shadow of someone standing not too far away from one of the fires.

“Coming, dad,” she called back, and reached to give Tamatoa’s pincer a pat. “Come on, just go. Don’t make her wait.”

“But…” Tamatoa paused, unable to voice the thought that had crossed his mind - what if she doesn’t like what she sees? - but of course Moana guessed exactly what he was thinking. She always did. He was starting to wonder if it was magic, or if he was just that predictable.

“No buts. I’m sure she’ll be so happy to see you.”

“I… well, of course she’ll be happy to see me! Who wouldn’t right?” Tamatoa muttered, huffing. “I was just… nevermind. I’m going. I’ll uh… see you in the morning,” he added quickly, and turned back to walk into the ocean before he lost his nerve.

He still remembered the way to his old cave very well, so much so that he needed no light to guide him as he walked across the ocean floor towards it. And it wasn’t a very long walk either but, for some reason, it seemed to stretch on for a long time.

***

“He just kept singing! We thought it would never end! Please, tell me this is not something he does all the time!”

Moana tried to ignore the way Pilifeai was snickering while hidden beneath her hair - she would need to have a very convincing talk with him later, to make sure he wouldn’t report that conversation to Tamatoa - and smiled a little sheepishly.

“Well, no all the time,” she said a bit tentatively. “Just… often, if given the chance. But if it helps, it’s easy to distract him. If he’s about to sing, diverting his attention on something else usually works. Show him something shiny, talk to him about something else entirely. He’d probably like that. He hasn’t had much company until now.”

Her father gave a long sigh of relief. “Oh, thank the gods,” he muttered. Beside him, her mother looked equally relieved. “I’ll let the others know. I don’t think we can withstand another day like this.”

“Oh, come on! I can’t have been that bad!” Moana said, getting a deadpan look from her mother.

“The children kept going on singing for hours after he stopped. Hours.”

“… Ah. Well, they’re kids. You know,” she said, inwardly thankful Maui had taken her to the other side of the island the moment Tamatoa had announced he’d start singing. Speaking of Maui, Moana though, he still wasn’t back. Was he still with his mother, or had she left? Maybe he needed some time on his own. And maybe so would Tamatoa, after it was all said and do–

“Well. I suppose the fact he saved your life is a good reason to be patient… if that is indeed what happened,” her father’s voice rang out, causing Moana to cringe. She’d almost forgotten how she hadn’t told them all the details of the journey to her people, and now she got a distinct feeling Tamatoa had done just that. In song form.

“Right. About that, there were… a couple of close calls,” she admitted, fervently hoping Tamatoa hadn’t gone into too much detail.

Fat chance.

“You actually went and threw a rock at the goddess of Death?”

Among other things, Moana thought, but she knew better than saying as much aloud. “I had sort of ran out of options to catch her attention. But all went well,” she added quickly, causing her father to groan and her mother to sigh before she reached to take her hand.

“Moana. Do you think you can just… stay with us on the island for a time? Maybe a few turns of the moon without getting involved with deranged deities?” she asked, a hopeful note in her voice. In the flickering light of the fire they were sitting around, Moana really noticed for the first time how tired she looked, like she hadn’t gotten a full night of sleep in a while.

But of course she hadn’t: despite Moana’s efforts to sugarcoat it, it had been clear that the journey she was getting into could be very dangerous, because at sea any shift of the weather can become deadly. Of course they had worried for her: that was what parents do. How many times had they looked out at sea, hoping to see her boat at the horizon?

Trying to ignore a slight pang of guilt, Moana smiled and held back her hand. “Of course. I love being here with all of you. I’m sorry I ran off again so quickly. I missed you a lot.”

“Oh, dear. We missed you too, so much.”

“Awww!”

“… What was that?”

“What was what?” Moana asked innocently, casually reaching back to give Pilifeai a sharp poke through her hair. The lizard was smart enough to mute the resulting yelp.

“I thought I heard–”

“I didn’t hear a thing. Dad, tell me how things have been going! I have yet to see so much of this new island. How are you getting on with the harvest?”

“Rather well, actually! We found this spot just east from here that was perfect. I’ll show you first thing in the morning. Actually, I’d like to hear your opinion on this…”

***

“If you want my opinion–”

“But I don’t want your opinion! I have never in my life or death asked for your opinion! Why are you so obsessed with giving it anyway?”

“There’s no need to be rude. I’m sure he’ll be here, sooner or later. Unless he forgot where the Manaia told him to wait, or forgot where this island even is, or is stuck somewhere because he saw something shiny and his attention span is what it is. I would put none of it past him.”

“Sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of my son holding off Hine-Nui-Te-Po. And remind me again which one of you went to have a stroll on an undersea volcano.”

“Hmph. Now that was uncalled for - that volcano had been inactive for so long I had no idea it was even one. And before you get too smug, may I remind you…“

Whatever his grandmother said next was lost to Tamatoa, because he was not listening, not really. Standing in shallow water, shrouded in darkness, he could only stare at the departed spirits of his mother and grandmother, bickering only steps away from the entrance of the cave he’d been brought up in.

Otherworldly spirit glow thing aside, his grandmother - had she just invited herself over? But of course she had, it was the sort of thing she’d do - was everything like he remembered her: even more massive than himself, her shell darker than his own and mottled with black, looking all the world like she’d been cut out of stone. What he couldn’t tear his eyes from, however, was his mother.

He had very vague memories of her; it had been so long. If he focused, he remembered vaguely her bioluminescence in the dark, the occasional nudge from her antennae, and little else. Now he could tell that yes, she was smaller than he was now, her skin and shell several shades lighter. Her pincers were entirely missing, the skin heavily scarred where her arms should have been - if that could be called skin, really, because he wasn’t really sure what spirits were made of. They made ripples in the water as they moved, though, so he supposed they had to be sort of corporeal. Maybe he should ask.

He would have, if only he could make himself speak. Instead, he took a hesitant step forward - and one of his legs slipped on an unstable boulder beneath the water, causing him to stagger for a moment and raise splashes of water.

“… And besides I didn’t see you making it to my ag– huh? Who’s there?”

His grandmother suddenly turned in his direction, eyes narrowing to see through the dark, causing Tamatoa to inwardly cringe. For one absurd moment, it felt like he’d been caught with his pincers in the clam jar all over again.

“I know someone is there!” she spoke up again, and took a couple of steps forward. “Tamatoa? Is that you?”

Tamatoa opened his mouth to croak a ‘yes’, but he stopped himself just on time, frowning. Wait a moment, he thought, that wasn’t right. He was supposed to make a cool entry, wasn’t he? Something impressive. Why had he just rushed to the meeting point without thinking? He could at least have come up with something to say, or maybe even a musical number. Really, just showing up like that would make a really bad first impression. He had to think of something impressive to say or do, and he couldn’t think of anything to say, so he did the only thing he could think of on the spot: he turned on his bioluminescence.

In the moonless night it seemed even brighter than usual; it was enough to make them pause and stare, which made him feel just a touch smug. Alright, maybe a bit more than a touch. Except that his mother spoke after a moment, and the smugness disappeared because yes, the light show was great and all, but he still had no idea what to say.

“… Tamatoa?” she called out, taking a few steps towards him.

All right, all right. Don’t panic. Play it cool.

“Yeah. I mean, of course! Who else could it be? I am… the only one left, right? Unless some other dead crab is out and about, I guess, but I never saw any around, so while it’s not technically impossible… huh. I mean. Yeah. That’d be me,” he babbled, mentally kicking himself for sounding like a complete idiot. Then his mother stopped in front of him, and it took him a conscious effort not to step back.

What if she doesn’t like what she sees?

I’m sure she’ll be so happy to see you.

For a few, unnerving moments, she just stared; she had to look up to him, but somehow Tamatoa still felt really, really small. Then her antennae were touching his face - the touch was really odd, sort of corporeal and sort of not, but definitely there - and the wide-eyed look faded into a grin that looked oddly familiar.

“Oh, look at you!” she exclaimed, sounding absolutely delighted, and took a few steps back. “You’re a lot bigger than your father ever was!”

“That might be because you ate that idiot when he was half his age. Like most most males who actually mated,” Tupuna’s voice rang out somewhere behind her, but she seemed to take absolutely no notice: she was already circling Tamatoa, as though to properly size him up. She paused for a moment, and frowned.

“What happened to your leg?”

“Ah. That, er… that was lost in battle. But I won in the end! Absolutely!” he added quickly, and the grin was back on his mother’s face like it had never faded. She turned to look at his grandmother, her face the very picture of smugness. That, too, looked eerily familiar. 

“Hah! So much for being a runt, huh, mother?”

There was a sigh, and Tamatoa turned to see Tupuna approaching. Her glow turned the water around her to molten silver. “Fine, fine. I get it. I was wrong,” she conceded, and turned to look at him before uttering the closest thing to a compliment she was capable to think up. “I have to admit, you did get quite a bit bigger than I thought you ever would.”

“And look at the pincers - he could grind every single crab I’ve met to dust!”

“I, er… thanks? I mean - of course I could!” Tamatoa immediately corrected himself, and grinned. With the sense of wonder fading, he found he really liked how that meeting was going. “Shame there aren’t any around for me to show it, but I’ve been keeping myself busy. You know, slowing down the sun, beating up the occasional monster, the occasional demon, a goddess, things like that. I usually do that on Tuesdays, but–”

“All right, enough. Don’t go too far, Tinytoa,” his grandmother cut him off, and sneered at his offended look. “Oooh, look at that. You still pout like you used to.”

“I’m not pouting! And… and I’m not tiny! Come on!”

“Hah! And you still say the same thing, too. But this old lady is still bigger than you are, you know,” she pointed out, flicking her antennae at him like she used to in life. “Plus, I am your grandmother. I get to call you whatever I want.”

“But–”

“No buts. Don’t talk back to your grandmother, kid.”

“I am five thousand years old!”

“Cute. We’ll talk about this again when you’re past fifteen-thousand.”

“Mom!”

“Oh, stop teasing him,” his mother muttered, rolling her eyes. “Keep that for Ngaire, Ngaio and just about everyone else.”

“Hmm. Fair enough. Shame we didn’t bump into them on our way out, because I’d have loved to have a few words with them before leaving.”

… Wait. Tamatoa had heard those names before. “What, you mean those two old hags I met at Manawa-Tane?” he asked, causing Tīaka to snort.

“Yes, them. They sauntered down in the Underworld, pleasant as eels stuck between one’s teeth, talking complete nonsense about how I should have tried for another clutch. I can’t wait to mention to them what you’ve–”

“So it was nonsense, right?”

Tamatoa had blurted out the question without thinking, and found himself trying to shrink a little when both of them paused and turned to look at him, blinking as though they had just heard him speaking in a foreign language. “I-I mean… what they said about, you know…” Tamatoa paused, making a vague gesture with his claw. ���How you should have, uh, discarded me and… that I was kind of a waste? I mean, of course I know they were absolutely wrong, you know, never doubted it for a moment! But I was wondering, if you agree… well. You agree, right? That it wasn’t true at all?”

For a moment, Tīaka just stared at him in silence. Finally, her eyes narrowed. “Is that precisely what they said?”

“Uh… yes. They also called you an idiot.”

“… They’re dead.”

Tupuna snorted. “Of course they’re dead. We all are.”

“You know what I mean,” her daughter said drily, and looked back at Tamatoa. “Wait. You didn’t believe that, did you?”

“Wha– nooo, absolutely not!” Tamatoa immediately protested, trying to ignore the unpleasant feeling that she could read the truth on his face, clear as day. “I know I’m absolutely amazing, so why should I believe them?” he added, and grinned, pointing at himself with a bioluminescent claw. “They were probably just jealous of all this magnificence.”

His grandmother sighed. “Oh gods, he does take after his father. Your looks and his brains,” she muttered, earning himself an unimpressed look from her daughter. Still, it was on Tamatoa that Tīaka turned her attention to, taking a few steps closer.

“All right. I want you to listen now and listen well, because I’m only going to say this once,” she said, and something about her stare seemed to glue Tamatoa on the spot. For the second time in minutes he felt very, very small. “I am dead, our entire species is gone - but you are here and I’m not even remotely sorry. My only regret is that I was unable to save your siblings as well. That is all. If I could go back to having no claws and just one hatched egg, I’d do everything I have done all over aga– no, scratch that. I probably wouldn’t have gone out on a stroll that day if I’d known a cliff would crash down on me. But as far as you’re concerned, there is nothing I would change. Is that clear?”

Tamatoa opened his mouth, but for a moment he was unable to speak. His eyes turned towards his grandmother, who shrugged. “What she said,” she muttered curtly. That was probably as far as she’d go with reassurances, but it was already a lot more than Tamatoa would have expected from the old battle axe, and he supposed it would do. He looked back at his mother and swallowed a couple of times before he could croak an answer.

“Crystal,” he replied, and his mother’s expression melted in a grin.

“Great,” she said, one antenna ficking at his own. “With that out of the way, we have a lot to catch up with. What have you been up to?”

Well, now that was going to take a while to get through. Good thing, Tamatoa thought, that he was really good at talking about himself for hours on end.

And he did talk for hours, through the entire night right until dawn, trying his best to recall all of his coolest moments and maybe exaggerate a detail or two. His grandmother hardly interrupted him - nothing short of a miracle, really - while his mother listened to each word with rapt attention, just the kind of attention he liked.

It would be only later, when both of them had left to return to the Underworld with the promise to visit again, that Tamatoa realized something: taken as they were by him, neither of them seemed to have even noticed the gold embedded in his shell.

***

[Back to Chapter 17]

[On to Epilogue]

[fallen-gravity]

Kaikunāne

Brother.

Hey, @distractibledingo, remember the other night when I joked about turning this thread with @peri-plumz into a full length story, because “LOOK AT THIS, LOOK AT ALL THIS FLUFF, IT CALLS ME?”

...Whoops.

A short summary: 

Maui considers Moana as part of the family. She knows he does. He’s been calling her little sister almost every day since they were 15.

She also knows that his family holds a lot of cookouts, because she’s been to a bunch of them.

Which is why it really puts Maui off that she starts getting uncomfortable when he starts describing the next one she’s going to as the family cookout.

@peri-plumz @distractibledingo @sliceoflove @crab-child @leradny @renee-niels

Almost every time there’s a long weekend coming up, Maui’s dad makes plans to have a cookout at some point during that weekend.

The first time, Maui’s family had a cookout, it was for the end of the school year. Summer was starting, and Dad made a big deal about getting all this food together and making sure the grill worked and borrowing everyone’s phones to check the weather app for the week over and over again to make sure it wasn’t going to be raining the day he insisted on having it. The entire house, as a matter of fact, was filled to the brim with ingredients and scattered cookbooks two weeks before the school year even ended.

The second time, he held one when Te Fiti came home for spring break. She was busy with school, and didn’t have a lot of time to come home during the schoolyear, so Dad put together a smaller barbecue. He still planned it weeks ahead of time, and he still kept begging Maui to check the weather app because are you sure it’s just going to be cloudy are you sure those little cloud pictures aren’t supposed to represent rain, and every time the phone rang or someone’s phone buzzed when they got a text he’d rush over and ask them who it was from just to make sure it wasn’t Te Fiti contacting him to say that she couldn’t make it after all.

Once Maui got into high school, and Punga and Tinirau went off to college, he’d host one every time they both decided to come home on the same weekend. Whether they always planned to come home together or they both just happened to start feeling homesick at the same time, Maui’s not sure, but he always used to joke and blame it on their “twin telepathy” that forced one to always feel the exact same way as the other. Because they came home relatively often, Dad had less and less time to panic over things like the weather or planning out just exactly what food he’d have to prepare and how many portions of it he’d have to make.

And once Maui entered college, Dad joked about holding one every time there was a three day weekend just to get everyone to come home and spend time with him. Later in the schoolyear, when he decided to host one for a long weekend just because there happened to be a holiday on Monday, he’d apparently completely forgotten that he made that joke at all until Maui pointed it out to him.

And just like that, it became a small tradition for the Tangaroa family. Every time there’d be a long weekend, whether for a holiday or not, Dad would host a cookout. No longer would he fuss over making sure everyone was sure they were able to come home, because the cookouts soon became the thing to look forward to on a long weekend. The weather stopped becoming a problem, too, and each time it would rain or become too cold in the winter to hold a barbecue outside he’d just shrug his shoulders and prepare everything inside instead.

Once Maui became good friends with Moana, he started inviting her to tag along. Each time he knew she’d be going home that weekend, he’d ask her just to come home with him, because they lived in the same hometown anyway, and stay at his place until the barbecue was over. Sometimes she’d stay for entire weekend, if the barbecue was on a Monday, and other times she’d just stay the night and go home the next if Dad was holding it on a Saturday. But every time Maui offered Moana to come along, she’d always accept it and tag along, and seeing her at the barbecue became such a regular occurrence to everyone else that sometimes if Punga ran into her on campus he’d tell her about the one coming up before Maui even had a chance to see her.

She got along with everyone in the family well, so everyone loved having her around. She’d mess with Maui or get messed with by Punga or sometimes she’d even help Dad on the grill if he needed the extra hand. It was a family cookout, and eventually Moana stopped being “Maui’s best friend” who showed up to the cookouts whenever she could to the “little sister” of the family who they’d all miss if something in her schedule prevented her from showing up.

Whether the cookouts were directly responsible for his entire family beginning to view Moana as one of their own, or just because she’s known them since her and Maui’s freshman year in high school, Maui’s not sure, but he’d been calling her “little sister” ever since sophomore year. It started off as a nickname he’d use to mock her, because even if she does like to rub in his face that she’s a few days older than him, she’s still eleven inches shorter than him so it doesn’t count. But eventually the name just stuck, because he eventually found himself seeing her as his second sister. And by midway through junior year in high school, he caught Punga slipping up and calling her little sister when she wasn’t even in the room to hear him say it

Either way, it’s clear to Maui that he’s not the sole member in his family who views Moana as one of their own.

He and Moana are sitting in her living room joking and laughing when his phone buzzes with a text notification. They’d decided that this weekend that he would spend the night at her place, just to make up for all of those times she claimed he “kept her from seeing her parents”.  And if Maui’s going to be completely honest with himself, the change is nice, because as much as he likes going home for the weekend, dragging Moana back to his place every weekend when he hasn’t been to hers in months was starting to get old very quickly.

Not to mention that, just as his siblings seemed to change around Moana their senior year in high school, Maui noticed a similar kind of change in Tui and Sina’s change in behavior towards him.

A few weeks before graduation, when he and Moana were studying for finals, Sina came by and offered the two of them something to eat while they worked. But when Sina had approached the two of them and had asked “Is there anything you want, sweetie?” Maui had been surprised when he glanced up from his book and saw that Sina was directing her question at him.

At the time Maui had just brushed off the incident as something that happens to everyone, and maybe Sina just called all of Moana’s friends sweetie, and it didn’t really hit him until he got home that night just why she probably called him that at all. Moana’s an only child, the only child Sina and Tui ever had, so it wouldn’t surprise Maui to find out that because he spent so much time around Moana that they started viewing him as an honorary son. And that thought makes him laugh, because if his dad’s nickname for Moana is anything to go by then he clearly views her as his honorary daughter, so it would really only be fair for Moana’s parents to see him the same way.

Maui’s phone buzzes again, pulling him from his thoughts, and he opens the phone just to prevent the notification sound from going off again in another minute, but then before he can close the messaging app he sees that the text is coming in from “Professor Whale” and he stops. If he tried to ignore the notifications and open the message just to get his phone to stop buzzing, Dad would just start messaging him even more.

The text reads “I’ll see you tomorrow!!!!” surrounded on both sides by two separate whale emojis, and Maui’s about to just respond with a quick “ok” and go back to talking to Moana when another text comes in. It reads, “Is Junior still coming?” with a big grinning emoji attached to the end.

Rolling his eyes, Maui sends a quick “i’ll ask her” back before clicking his phone off and turning to face Moana beside him.

“Hey, Mo?”

“Hm?”

“I know I’ve probably asked you this a hundred times already this week, but now Dad’s insisting on hearing your confirmation himself. You’re coming to the family cookout tomorrow afternoon, right?” he asks jokingly, and Maui’s all about ready to open his phone back up and respond with a quick yes to his Dad’s text when the smile suddenly drops from Moana’s face.

But just as quickly, she catches herself, and she’s smiling again like it never slipped off of her face at all.

“Aw, is that tomorrow?” she asks, like she didn’t already know that from the constant reminders he’s been giving her all week, and her voice sounds stiff, like she’s trying to convince him she sounds shocked by the information even though he knows she’s really not. “I just realized I can’t come this time. I’m...busy with something else.”

Maui frowns. “You sure?” he asks, and snorts, gesturing vaguely around the living room that’s completely empty save for the two of them. “You don’t look very busy to me” he jokes, but it doesn’t seem to do anything to wipe the uncomfortable frown off of Moana’s face.

“Yeah”, she deadpans, and the cheer in her voice from earlier is gone. “It’s kind of last minute. There’s just a few things I need to catch up on, you know?”

Maui blinks. “I mean, sure, if you’ve actually got stuff going on, but…” he trails off, and shakes his head. “Are you okay?”

Moana snorts, and shifts in her seat so she’s not facing him anymore. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. It’s just a lot of last minute homework I gotta catch up on, is all.” and then, quieter, and in a more sheepish tone, “...besides, I wouldn’t want to ruin any of your family’s fun or anything”.

...She what?

“Nahh,” Maui waves a dismissive hand, trying to make himself sound as neutral and joking as he possibly can. “It really wouldn’t be the same without you there” he says, and can’t help but grin because it’s technically true. It really wouldn’t be the same without her. There had been a few cookouts in the past where she hadn’t been able to attend for one reason or another, and the cookout just wasn’t as lively or bursting with activity without her presence there.

But instead of stopping to consider his words like he expected, Moana just snorts and waves a dismissive hand of her own. “Pfft, sure. It wouldn’t be the same without me” she mocks his voice, and shakes her head. “I appreciate that, but this is your family we’re talking about”

Moana’s hard emphasis on your family hurts more than Maui’s willing to admit, and barely catches himself on time to prevent a frown spreading to his face. “Huh?” he asks instead, pretending to sound confused by her statement. “It’s true. We’d miss you if you couldn’t show”. He snorts. “I mean, it’s not like Dad’ll cancel just because you can’t come this one time, but we’d definitely notice if you were gone. We’ve had a few without you, like when you were vacationing with your parents for spring break, and it was….incredibly boring without you there. Even Dad made a comment on it, and he was the one hosting the cookout”.

Maui grins, but when he turns to look at Moana she’s still frowning like she doesn’t believe him. Maui sighs quietly, and after waiting a short pause for her to respond to no avail he begins to speak again.

‘You’re...like an additional member of the family to us, Moana. All of us.” He says, and sparing a quick glance over at the phone sitting on the table beside the couch, he huffs in amusement. “Here, I can prove it. I ever tell you what Dad calls you behind your back?”

Moana sighs. “I...I know. I love you guys, I really do, but sometimes I feel like…” she trails off, waving a hand in the air to drop the subject, but then blinks in confusion once his last sentence registers and she seems to realize who he’s talking about.

“Professor T?” she asks, clearly eager to change the subject. “No, I don’t think so. What does he call me?”

But instead of answering her question immediately, Maui’s too caught up on the sentence she never finished. He shuffles closer to her on the couch, and rests his arm against the headrest so he can fully face her comfortably.

“Aw, no, backtrack a little bit. You know you can tell me anything if you think something’s up with my family, right? They love you to pieces, Moana. I know Punga likes to mess with you a lot when you visit, but I doubt he’s trying to pull anything when he’s calling you little sister to your face or to me when you’re not around to hear him say it. He calls you that because that’s how he sees you. That’s how all of us see you”

Maui pauses. “Well, almost all of us. You wanna know what Dad calls you when he thinks you’re not around to hear him say it? He calls you Moana Jr. Pretty sure I even overheard him say it to a colleague when I passed his office on the way to class once. I asked him about it later, and he tried to cover himself up by claiming it was so people wouldn’t think he was talking about himself in the third person or something”.

Maui laughs, and he picks up his phone and waves it around in demonstration. “But I never call him by his first name, and he just texted me asking about you using that nickname, so I have...other theories as to why he actually does it”.

Moana finally smiles, and she’s shaking her head and laughing, and Maui really can’t help but to smile in response.

“Really? Moana Jr.? That’s sweet of him” Moana says, but then she shifts again, and her bright, amused smile fades into one that’s small and almost closed off. “And...I know. You don’t need to lecture me. Punga…” she trails off shortly, and that amused smile returns to her face as she elbows him the ribs, “and you, obviously…” she continues, and Maui can’t help but to roll his eyes in amusement and chuckle softly at her gesture. “Have really always been the older brothers I never got to have”. And she smiles, and she looks like she’s going to say something else, but then she pauses, and backtracks, like she’s just now realizing what she just said.

...Come to think of it, isn’t the phrase supposed to be “the brothers she never had?” Where’s “never got to” coming from?

“What?” Maui asks, blinking at her in confusion. What do you mean you never got to have older brothers? You’re an only child, right? I thought Tui and Sina were only looking to have one kid”.

But his question only seems to have made things worse, because there Moana goes again, frowning, and she’s uncomfortably playing with her hair, and for a long moment Maui thinks she’s not going to respond until she sighs out a small puff of air.

“I...wasn’t the only kid my parents had, actually. I had an older brother, but he died when he was only a few weeks old. And...this next part is going to sound weird, but believe it or not...I was actually born a twin. My brother, he didn’t...make it. I was born 70 seconds after he was, and my parents were terrified I was going to turn out the same way as him, but…” she trails off, gesturing vaguely with her arm towards herself with a sad smile spreading to her face. “Here I am”

“Punga and Tinirau,” Moana continues. Sometimes when I’m watching them, even if they don’t seem very close, it makes me wonder, you know, what it would’ve been like if…” she trails off, and between one blink in the next Moana is staring past him with an expression of longing weighing heavily on her.

…Oh.

Oh.

Frowning, Maui winds an arm around her and places a hand on her shoulder as a means of wordless support. He wants to help her, he wants to say something to support her, but the words just aren’t coming to him right now so for the moment he hopes she’s okay with him just kind of leaning towards her and literally offering his shoulder to cry on if she needs it.

Then, a short pause, as the words do actually come to him.

“That’s...so awful, Moana, I’m so sorry your family had to go through that”.

He frowns.

“I kind of get where you’re coming from with Punga and Tinirau, though. For a few years when I was really little, I felt really isolated from my siblings. I knew they loved me, and it’s not like they didn’t actively show me they did, but…” he trails off, momentarily, and shakes his head at himself before he continues on.  “I felt different from all of them because I wasn’t born into their family. Mom and Dad brought me home after everyone else was already born, so some part of me figured that I’d never be able to get as close to them as they were each other, because they brought me in last.”

He pauses to glance over at Moana beside him, and then at her living room around them, and Maui laughs.

“But the part I’m not understanding is...you’re wondering what it would be like if you ever got to have a twin brother like you don’t already have one?” He grins, and it’s wide enough that his tooth gap is visible through his lips. Before she can ask what he means, he retrieves his arm back from around her shoulder and shifts again until his full body is turned to face her.

“I’m sitting right in front of you, aren’t I?” Maui asks, and his grin softens inadvertently as he continues on. “If you’re telling me you the way Punga and Tinirau behave around each other don’t remind you of anyone else, that would really shock me, because I can think of another pair like that off the top of my head and they’re sitting on this very couch as we speak.”

His grin grows wider still.

“You and I were born a week apart from each other to the day, Moana. I think that’s about the closest to actual biological twins you can get”.

Moana’s silent for a moment, like she’s really thinking about what he says, and her small smile up at him is the only and far-too quick warning he has before she launches herself toward him, wrapping her arms around him in a hug, yanking him towards her into a tight embrace in one swift, wordless movement.

“And I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way” she murmurs into his shoulder, and Maui, finally blinking away the last of the shock from her gesture, winds her arms around her and holds her close to reciprocate her hug.

“Me too”. He says, but then pauses when he realizes how insensitive that could come across coming from him. “I-I mean, not the part about your brothers. It’s...I’m not saying I would’ve wanted things to turn out exactly the same if it could’ve been prevented, because I’m sure they would’ve been really cool if I ever got to meet them, and-”

He cuts himself off abruptly when he realizes he’s rambling.

“Nevermind. I wouldn’t have wanted things to turn out any differently either”

Moana laughs, and whacks him gently in the shoulder without pulling away. “Pfft, it’s fine, bro, I know what you mean” she says, and Maui snorts a laugh in response.

“Good”. Maui says, and then as an afterthought, “So, you are coming to the family cookout tomorrow, right? I think I overheard Dad on the phone with Te Fiti the other day who said she was coming home for this one, too” He grins down at her. “It’s really been a long time since we’ve had our entire family together”

Moana grins, and once they finally pull away from their hug she nudges him in the shoulder with her elbow. “What are you talking about? Of course I’m coming. It’s our family, isn’t it?” she says, and jumps up from the couch, gesturing with her head towards the front door.

“Speaking of which, actually, you think we can head over there now?” Moana grins. “It’s awfully quiet in here without my other brothers”.

[imalittleoutthere]

Everyone Gets Sick Sometimes

@puccafangirl I wrote this little story for you inspired by your sick Tamatoa picture 😊I hope you like it! Chapter 1: "Come on, babe! Let's get going!" Tamatoa called, "That treasure won't collect itself!" He stood in the entrance to his cave, snapping his claws impatiently. Mollie, who's back was currently to him, looked up from her sketchbook when she heard the sound of his voice. Instead of being deep and mysterious and as utterly sexy as usual, it sounded a bit tired and raspy. She turned around, "Tama? Are you alr-" she stopped when she caught sight of him. Tamatoa looked tired and flushed, maybe even a bit dizzy. A look of surprise and concern came onto her face. "Look, babe, I know I'm dazzling, but you can gaze at me all you want later," he smiled in his usual cocky manner, but it looked like he was trying to hide physical discomfort behind it. Mollie wasn't buying that, "Are you sure you're feeling up to treasure hunting?" "O-of course!" Tamatoa stuttered defiantly, even though he felt awful. His head hurt, he felt hot and cold at the same time, his throats felt like it had a tiny monster scratching at the back of it, and all he wanted to do was sleep for the rest of the day. However, he loved treasure-hunting almost as much as he loved free food, and...okay, he didn't want to look weak in front of Mollie. She was the best thing to happen to him since finding that genie lamp. But would he admit any of this? No! The great Tamatoa was NOT going to have anyone thinking he'd gone soft! He shook his head as though trying to clear it, "I'm the picture of health, Mollie! Don't be ridiculous!" He stood up straight with his head held high. This didn't last for long, though. A wave of nausea and dizziness swept over him as his eyes widened briefly before displaying a look of exhaustion. Mollie folded her arms and looked at him with a loving "I-don't-think-so" sort of expression. She said nothing. She didn't have to. Seeing her sweet face looking at him so knowingly, Tamatoa melted inside and knew he couldn't fight it. He hung his head and walked over to the place in his cave where he slept. Flopping down dramatically with classic Tamatoa flair, he moaned, "Good gods, babe, I think I'm dying!" Mollie smiled and shook her head. He could be such a diva sometimes! She walked over to him and compassionately put her hand on his face, "You'll be alright, love. I'll take care of you," she kissed his cheek, "Now how can I help you feel better?" "Get me something shiny?" He asked weakly with a bit of a sheepish smile. Hey, it was worth a shot! "Tama, come on now..." "I don't knooowwwww..." he groaned, "I can't remember the last time I got sick. Probably because Tamatoa doesn't get sick!" He banged his claw on the ground, "Why's this happening to me?" Tamatoa looked over at Mollie, "Why's this happening to me, babe? What did I do to deserve this?" He squeezed his eyelids shut, trying to hold back tears. Mollie, her hand still on his face, rested her head on Tamatoa's cheek and started stroking his face with her other hand, "Shhh, it's okay. You're going to be fine," Mollie spoke softly and tenderly to her crustacean companion, "Why don't you take a little nap? I'm sure I can come up with something! You just relax. Your body needs it." Tamatoa whimpered and put his head down. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply. Mollie took this as her cue to leave. As she got up, Tamatoa lightly grabbed at her ankle, "Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?" He asked, almost in a whisper. Mollie smiled, "Of course," she sat down by the crab and watched him rest. Chapter 2: Normally, a human walking around Lalotai by themselves would not last even two minutes. However, nearly everyone in the realm of monsters knew who Mollie was and how special she was to Lalotai's most powerful resident, so the other monsters did her no harm. She could walk about the realm in peace. Her walk didn't feel very peaceful, though; her brain hard at work trying to come up with something for a sick crab. "Do I have ANY idea what to do? No!" Mollie muttered to herself as she wandered through the plants and rocks. She chuckled dryly, "I guess this is more evidence that school really doesn't prepare you for the real world!" THUMP! Something hit the ground loudly behind her. Mollie turned around, eyes filled with fear. Thankfully, that feeling went away as she identified the source of that noise. It was none other than Tamatoa's old friend, Maui, the shape-shifting demigod. Mollie sighed with relief, and smiled, "Hi Maui!" "Hey there, Mollie!" He grinned. Then, with a curious look, asked, "Why're you out here all by yourself? Where's old crab cakes at?" Mollie's face fell, "He's sick, and I have no idea what to do or what to get him or-ahhh!!!" Mollie nearly pulled her hair out in frustration. "Hey, no need to panic, kiddo!" Maui put a friendly hand on her shoulder, "You could probably find something to help the big guy at Kim & Kinoki's." Mollie raised an eyebrow, "Who now?" "Kim & Kinoki's. It's a shop for medicinal herbs and tinctures and such. I get my seaweed from there! Come on, I'll show you where it's at!" He motioned with his arm for Mollie to follow. Catching up with Maui, she eyed him suspiciously, "Seaweed?" Mollie was surprised to hear such a thing from the demigod. "Hey, being Maui, shapeshifter, demigod of the wind and sea, hero of man, gets stressful." He shrugged it off, then nervously added, "Don't tell Moana!" Mollie chuckled and shook her head as the two continued walking. About 10 minutes later, they were standing in front of a sunken ship with a massive hole in it, which appeared to be the doorway. Above said doorway was a sign that with the name Maui mentioned on it. "Well, here we are! Kim & Kinoki's!" Maui said, and Mollie followed him into the strange shop. Upon entering, Mollie was greeted with what can only be described as an assault to her olfactory sense. The herb and fish smell was overwhelming! Aside from that, though, the little shop was very interesting. Shelves lined with vials and jars of different colored spices, liquids, and powders. They even sold preserved monster body parts, such as tentacles, fangs, and what Mollie sincerely hoped were two eyeballs suspended in a jar of liquid. "We'll be right with you!" Called a female voice. It came from a little room behind the cash register, as Mollie noticed. The two continued casually browsing for about a minute or so when a two-headed water nymph came out of the little room. The creature was light blue and traditionally feminine with delicate-looking wings. One head had a short, dark blue a-line haircut and calm grey eyes, while the other head had tousled yellow hair, sharp teeth and eyes that were completely white. Mollie gasped upon seeing her. The two heads gasped as well. "What's a human doing in Lalotai?" The yellow-haired one asked loudly to no one in particular. Her blue haired sister gave her a stern look, "Don't be rude, Kinoki! She's probably terrified enough as it is!" She turned to Mollie and Maui smiling, "Forgive her. She doesn't always think before she speaks. Anyway, welcome to Kim & Kinoki's! I'm Kim, and this idiot," she poked the yellow haired head, who growled and snapped at her finger, "is Kinoki. Can we help you find anything? And nice to see you, Maui. You want your usual?" "Not today, thanks. I'm just helping Miss Mollie here find some medicine for her sick crab boyfriend. Got anything that might help the big guy?" Both Kim and Kinoki's eyes widened. "Ohhhh my gods it all makes sense now," Kinoki's said, staring at Mollie in awe. Mollie blushed, "What do you mean?" She asked shyly. "You're Tamatoa's human girl?" Kim asked, still in awe. Mollie's blushed deepened at the mention of her sweetheart's name. She nodded shyly. "HolyshrimpIamsosorryforbeinganasspleasedontbeangrypleasedont-" Kim clamped her hand over Kinoki's mouth and stopped her fearful rambling, "I'm sorry if we've made you uncomfortable Mollie." Kim said, blushing a bit. She took her hand off of her sister's mouth, "Anyway, what's ailing Tamatoa?" "Well," Mollie stammered, "It kinda seems like he has the flu, but I don't know if crabs can get the flu, because that's a human virus, and," Mollie got flustered, "I just, I hate seeing him like this and not knowing what to do and-" Mollie was cut off as the sisters approached. Kim put her hand on Mollie's cheek in a motherly sort of way, "Darling, I know exactly what he needs. Wait here," The sisters disappeared into their little room. After several minutes of shuffling, sizzling, and popping sounds, the pair came back out, "All done!" Kinoki grinned, showing her pointy teeth. Kim held a large jar of thick gold liquid, "This mixture of gold and Venus Death Trap leaves should have him feeling much better! Though I need to warn you," she said as she set the jar on the counter, "Most crabs have trouble taking it. The idea of ingesting gold is often troubling for their kind." "Yeah, like remember that one red crab that owns the burger joint a few hours from here?" Kinoki asked Kim, "He just about had an aneurysm at the thought of that!" Kim smiled and shook her head at that memory, "Poor guy...anyway, I hope this helps!" She handed Mollie the jar, "And don't hesitate to return for any other needs you might have!" "Wait, don't I owe you some money?" Mollie asked. "This one's on us," Kim smiled warmly. "Mostly because we have a healthy fear of Tamatoa!" Kinoki grinned awkwardly. Mollie laughed, "Well, thank you! This means a lot!" "No problem!" Kim said, "You guy's have a great day!" Chapter 3 "Alright, so how're we gonna do this?" Maui asked on the way back to Tamatoa's cave. Mollie blinked in surprise. She looked up at Maui, "We?" "Trust me, Mollie," Maui chuckled, "This is gonna be a job that requires a demigod! Tamatoa is pretty stubborn!" Mollie laughed, "You don't have to tell me twice about that!" The two of them were deep in thought for the next few minutes of their walk, trying to come up with a way to get Tamatoa to take his medicine. "You know," Maui said finally, " We could always try to put it in some sort of capsule or funnel and when he's not looking, shove it up his-" "MAUI!" Mollie shouted at him, blushing furiously, "TOO FAR!" Maui put his hands up, "Okay, okay, we won't do that! But honestly, do you have a better idea?" "Bat our eyelashes and hope for the best?" "Come on, Mollie." "Alright, alright," she sighed, "What else can we do?" Maui's face lit up, "What if we used berry juice to dye it purple?" Mollie smiled, "Sounds like a good plan! Now, where can we find some berries?" Soon enough, the two arrived at Tamatoa's lair with their newly-colored medication. "This is definitely going to work," Maui said with determination, "Now let's go fix that crab!" Tamatoa was still sleeping when Mollie and Maui entered. Mollie gave the jar to Maui, "Let me wake him up." She knelt down in front of Tamatoa's face and began rubbing his cheek, "Tama, wake up," she said softly, "I'm back with some medicine." Tamatoa let out a whimpering moan and opened his eyes, "Alright then, babe," he said weakly, "Let's have it," he pushed himself up a bit. Maui walked over now, holding the jar of purple liquid, "Here you go, buddy! Drink up!" Tamatoa looked over at Maui with surprise, "What are you doing here? And what is that mess?" "It's your medicine, silly!" Mollie kissed Tamatoa's cheek. "I know that much already," Tamatoa rolled his eyes, "But what's in it? It looks-" he paused, eyeballing the viscous liquid. Then his eyes widened, "I'm not drinking that! There's gold in it! That would be just...just blasphemous!" Maui stared at Tamatoa in awe and frustration, "How the hell did you figure that out?" "If there's anything I know about, you little semi-Demi-mini-god, it's gold." Maui cursed under his breath. "Language, babe," Tamatoa said cheekily. Maui gave him the finger. "Tama," Mollie piped up, "It'll make you feel better. Then we can go collect all the gold you want! So will you please take it?" "No." "Tama-" "I'm not drinking gold! What a waste!" "It's not a waste if it cures your sickness!" "If I can't wear it or collect it, it's a waste!" "Okay, that's it!" Maui stood up, "No more Mr. Nicegod! Listen, crab cakes, if you don't drink this, it's going up your-" "Can we not go there?" Mollie put her hand up. She looked at her sweetheart, who was beginning to look worn out even by his own stubbornness, "Will you take it for me?" She batted her eyelashes and smiled up at him. Tamatoa's mask of determination began to fade. He sighed and squeezed his eyes shut, "Bring it here," he said as though awaiting a shot. Maui gave him the jar, and Tamatoa reluctantly drank its contents. What, you thought there was gonna be some sort of chase and fight? This is fluff, not action! When he had finished the medicine, Tamatoa looked over at Mollie in annoyance, "The things I do for you." Mollie laughed. She gave her drama queen a hug on his face. "Well, I'll let you two love birds do...whatever it is you do. Get well soon, you big lug!" He turned around and headed out. "Thank you, Maui!" Mollie called after him. Maui turned around, "You're welcome," he said with a wink. Then he was off. Tamatoa sighed and closed his eyes. "Getting sleepy again?" Mollie asked. He nodded. "Want me to stay here with you?" Tamatoa opened one eye, "Could you?" He asked hopefully. Then he blushed, "And would you, erm, would you lie on my neck? It...feels nice when you...do that..." Mollie giggled, "Of course!" Tamatoa smiled weakly and picked her up, gently placing her on the back of his neck. Mollie curled up and closed her eyes. Soon, the two were sound asleep.

[agnesmontague]

picture this: 

you’re me. you’re in the theatre, watching moana for the first time. you’re already kind of overwhelmed by emotion after “we know the way” because damn, you could almost feel the ocean wind blowing on your face. maui is a lot of fun and although you’re more than a little concerned about accurate polynesian representation (you’ll be sure to look up discourse later, surely there’s plenty of it), you’re still having a good time.

then the crab shows up. oh, okay. he seems like a typical goofy villain who’ll be easily defeated by a show of wits on moana’s part, the comical relief. he loves to talk about himself? who’d have guessed, he’s completely decked out in bling. oh, he’s gonna do it in song form? that’s fine, another musical number is always g-

then he starts singing, and then you realize. 

shit. he has a really goddamn nice voice.

now this is entirely unfair, because the song itself is built to sound a bit seductive in the first place. later you’ll find out after an obsessive googling session that it was a david bowie homage, which will lessen your shame a little bit, but only a little bit. for now you’re sitting there utterly and completely confused because why is this happening, this sparkling crab motherfucker has no business sounding so... so... your brain refuses to choke out the word as the song continues in its glorious splendor, then comes to a halt as maui grabs his hook off the crab’s back. no, no, no! that was too short, even just for a quick musical number! that can’t be the full song, can it...? but maui’s struggling to revert back to his bird form, moana’s in trouble, tamatoa’s looming over maui with a grin on his face--

then,

“well, well, well;

little maui’s having trouble with his look,

you little semi-demi-minigod...”

your heart gives a leap into your throat. was that a growl you detected in his voice? why are you reacting to this????? you’re just happy that there’s more song, right??? oh my god, is the crab actually throwing maui around??? look at maui, he’s being demolished, someone please help him, oh holy god, this is so dark, why am i enjoying this, now the crab is a neon disco ball and his face is a glowing pattern like dr facilier, he’s going to eat maui and moana, why is his voice so low and- and- wh-

by now your heart is hammering out a steady 120 bpm and even when the song is over, none of it fades from your mind. for the rest of the film an image is imprinted in the back of your head, and it’s one of the crab dragging maui across the floor in time with the music. you know you’re going to look up clips of this song for hours afterward. you don’t know who the voice actor is yet, but you sure as shit are going to find out. and even as you exit the theatre there’s a heavy heat in your face emanating from the shame you’re feeling that you can’t bring yourself to explain. that was weird. really, really weird. you haven’t felt this excited and shaken since you were a kid and just had your first rollercoaster ride. except that rollercoaster didn’t make you feel like a goddamn filthy sinner afterward.

at some point in the future, like now, when you’re on tumblr after your first class and figure there’s nothing left to lose anymore, you will admit not just to yourself but to your 1700-odd followers that maybe, just maybe, you were attracted to tamatoa the crab (thanks to the splendid work of jemaine clement, who you now follow on twitter because reasons). there’s no real point in denying it anyway. besides, this is the internet. you know you’re not alone in this at all.

[dragonkeeper19600]

I think you guys ought to know, when I was drawing my picture of Tamatoa last week, my dad came up to me and asked me what I was drawing.

Now, keep in mind, my dad has seen Moana. I went with him to the theater; I know for a fact he’s seen this movie.

So, I told him, “I’m drawing the crab from Moana.”

And he just kind of blinked and went, “What crab?”

He was dead serious. I showed him the picture I was working on. The line art was finished (and pretty good, if I do say so myself). All that was left to do was color it. 

He looked at it and said, “Uh, still doesn’t ring a bell.”

So I showed him the freaking screen cap from the movie I had been using as a reference.

His face was totally blank. “I have no memory of that,” he said.

Thankfully, after a couple of seconds of staring at that frame, it finally came back to him (”Oh, right! With all the shiny stuff on him!”), but it was just hilarious to me that Tamatoa is a character who prides himself on being beautiful and awesome, and the idea that he just totally failed to leave any kind of impression whatsoever on someone would probably keep him up at night.

[zabchan]

Legacy: the Legend of Honu

Chapter One: Stories

There are three stories that the Waialiki family hold sacred, one for each member of Honu’s family. (illustrations beneath the cut!)

His dad’s favorite, either to hear or to tell, is how the legendary chief Moana sailed across the great ocean to deliver Maui, demigod of the wind and sea, and restored the heart of Te Fiti. Dad gets super into the telling, especially during the fight scenes, waving a branch around, bowling over imaginary kakamora or fending off the deadly fireballs of Te Ka with a near-perfect imitation of a hawk’s screech. His dad’s rendition of the greedy crab Tamatoa singing to his hoard of shiny objects is a crowd favorite, the song stuck in Honu’s brain for weeks afterwards. It’s a long story, and Dad doesn’t break it out unless it’s a special occasion or he wants to show off…which is pretty much all the time, but he keeps recitals limited to feast days at least. Mom tells it ok, but she tends to focus on the ocean and how it came to choose Moana, citing the great chief’s compassion for a baby turtle being harassed by crows, and how showing kindness to even the smallest among us can lead to big things. Mom is always trying to put extra lessons into stories, while his dad is all about the big magical showdowns and explosions.

 It’s best when Honu’s parents tell it together, with a practiced ease of cooperation and easy banter. Its hilarious when Mom joins in mid-telling and voices Maui, forcing Dad to continue the story from Moana’s perspective. But their best rendition is when Mom handles the narration, describing the dark, traitorous wonders of Lolotai, the chaotic, bizarre and deadly ships of the kakamora, the glorious blooming rebirth of Te Fiti, using her arms and hands to carve the images in the air and make the words come alive. Dad is the best at doing all the voices and sound effects, by far. He also makes up songs at each major story point; and here is often when Mom joins in, her rich alto twining through his father’s warm baritone like a canoe through the waves.

Aside from his favorite epic, Dad delights in recounting all the Maui stories, from ‘How Maui Stole Fire’, told in the depths of stormy season, when the gift is the most appreciated as the village huddles in their fales, to ‘The Invention of the Coconut’ at harvest, when he can be surrounded by heaps and heaps of the patron crop, punctuating the tale with sounds of cracking the husks in his massive fists.

Honu’s mom likes to tell Maui stories too, but with a twist. She always prefers the ones that reveal some aspect of Maui’s humanity: his generosity, his bravery, the heart among the heroics. So her favorite story is how the great Maui humbled himself for the love of a human woman, how he gave up his hook and his immortal life to be with her and her people, to savor each day as it came and love like there was no tomorrow. Honu pretended he was bored by the story when he was younger, but secretly he wished that someday he could find someone to love as much as that. to give up so much of yourself but still consider it a price well paid; wow.

(He thinks he might see it sometimes in the way his dad looks at his mom, or the way his mom smiles at the whole village when they return from sailing lessons. Whether it be for love, for family, or community the thought that something or someone is worth giving up eternity for, that’s the real lesson Honu learns.)

And then there was Honu’s favorite story; not least because it was about himself. When Honu was little he’d ask for this story nearly three times a day, sometimes right after having been told it the first time.

The day Honu was born, his father was out hunting sea turtle, whose meat and blood are rich in iron and perfect food for pregnant women and new mothers. As the village champion was aiming the killing blow he thought he heard his wife’s cries of labor from the shore. It made him jerk and miss his shot. The spear flew from his hand and scratched a long mark across the turtle’s shell. Honu’s father raced back to the island, swimming the last ten feet himself, and bursting into the birthing hut dripping wet in his clothes. (Which is a terribly rude thing to do in the presence of the chief; some might have demanded his head for the insult, but of course grandfather would never be so petty.) He arrived in time to hold his wife’s hand during the final push to birth his firstborn son.  They gave the child the name of Honu, meaning turtle, in honor of how his first act in this world was to save the sea creature. It is said that the turtle saved that day grew to an enormous size and became a legend on the island, identified by the long scratch mark on its shell.  It is also said that when it appears, it gifts the island with extra hauls of deepwater fish, tuna and marlin and sturgeon, (all Honu’s favorites), and chases away all the stinging jellyfish (Honu’s decidedly least favorite).

The blotchy pink scar on his leg twitches when Honu hears that part of the story, and he cannot help but wince at the memory of the week-long fever, nausea and burning agony that resulted from half a second’s brush from the purple tendrils.

The turtle story is Grandpa’s favorite too, and while Honu loves his parents dearly, Grandpa Tui is special.  Grandpa Tui tells him stories of their ancestors; of the meanings in the patterns on his skin, on how this uncle invented a new way to catch fish, or how that great-grandmother painted the tapas in their fale. Tui teaches Honu the pride of the craftsman, of a job well done, of carving a lasting legacy with your own two hands.

Grandma Sina teaches Honu how to be quiet. Not in a bad “be quiet I’m trying to sleep” way, but the patient, kind, listening way. To still your heart and mind and be open to the sound of the breeze, of the growing things, the earth beneath your fingers. How, when you are quiet, other people tend to talk more to fill the silence and often let something slip they didn’t mean to. And when they do you smile, and stay calm, and ponder these things and in the silence find wisdom. Wisdom, hiding in plain view, hiding in the quiet places and the attentive ear.

So, unlike his loud and boisterous father or his chatty instructive mother, he grows up to be a thoughtful, quiet young man who smiles and loves to listen. He tends not to speak until all else is quiet, and on Motunui that is rarer than most people give credit for. That isn’t to say he doesn’t love people and being around them. In fact, Honu tends to feel drained and empty when he’s separated too long from people, but he’s happiest when he can be in a big crowd and not say anything, just listen to their chatter and stories while he works on yet another project, be it whittling or weaving or mending nets.

He is learning boatbuilding from his father and from studying the canoes of his ancestors. He learns to sail and wayfind as a matter of course, the son of two master wayfinders on the island of wayfinders descended from- you get the idea. But mostly what this inspires in him how to make better, stronger boats with more decoration and more design and functionality. He learns of different types of tree and their virtues, of the nature of waves and how they crash over a deck and just how much water it takes to sink a canoe…and in the process learns a deep and profound respect of the sea and her moods. When all you have between you and the deepest, darkest fathoms is a bundle of sticks held together by some tar and rope; you learn how much you need to be able to trust and rely on your boatmaker. His people have boats that have lasted over a thousand years. His dream is to make one to last a thousand more. One he can proudly sail a family of his own on one day, discovering new islands, new treasures and new materials to fuel his endless list of projects.

Honu is a craftsman. He speaks more through his work than his words. Honu loves his people’s way of decorating even the smallest objects, the ones where you wouldn’t think decorations would matter, like fishhooks. His hands are always itching to carve or paint or inlay something, and it’s rare to see him without a tool in hand. fortunately he inherits some decent artistic talent from his dad, although his dad’s sense of taste is more questionable. The story of how, when his dad met his mom, Dad had been working on a giant statue of himself in a cave covered in hand carved pictures (also of himself) is another family favorite, albeit not in the top 3.

and then there came the day when Honu learned not only were the stories all true…his mom and dad not only shared names with the two famous heroes…they were the heroes of the legends.

And they weren’t the only things from the stories that turned out to be true, as Honu was soon to learn…quite violently.

(whether or not I continue this story depends greatly on the amount of support and interest i get so please, dont hesitate to send me your feedback!) 

[junker-town]

I went to Disney on Ice and witnessed the evolution of the Disney Princess

I also maybe cried.

BROOKLYN — A tiny princess is wailing inside a giant plastic teacup. Her mother leans against it with one arm akimbo, mirroring the handle, and beams into the camera. The photographer waves a rattle behind the lens in a futile attempt to coax a smile out of the miserable toddler.

Zoom out, and you’ll see a sea of miniature royals, all pale pinks, blues, and yellows. Disney On Ice’s Dare to Dream show is about to start, and Barclay’s Center is packed for 11 a.m. on a Thursday. The entire pre- and elementary-school age population of New York seems to have skipped school to “celebrate what’s possible as five Disney heroines spark the courage inside us all.” Disney tells us we’re here “to find our inner hero.”

My seat is next to a woman named Tyra Brooks and her daughter Sanaa. It’s Sanaa’s third birthday, so Brooks and her husband, who live in Brooklyn, took the day off work to be here. Sanaa is obsessed with Moana, the lead character from the movie by the same name. On my other side sit Stacy Cruz, 27, and her little brother Wyatt, 9, who’s been begging to go to the show since he saw ads for it on TV. Cruz monitored tickets until she found these, which, at $15, she could afford. Wyatt skipped school in Manhattan, and Cruz took the day off from her two jobs nannying and working in retail. In front of me, Natalie Nunez from Queens and her daughters Melinda and Evelyn, who are four and nine, cheer as the lights dim.

Our master of ceremonies is a relentlessly positive woman on skates in a purple figure-skating dress and a blazer. She seems adamant that nothing has ever gone wrong that can't be made right. Happily Ever After is a destination, and this woman is on a mission to make sure we all end up there.

She announces Minnie and Mickey, and the place erupts. These kids scream for the two famous mice the way teens would react to Harry Styles, or whoever the Cool Teen Celebrity Du Jour is. Melinda, the four-year-old ballerina in front of me, grips the armrests of her seat, sways her torso back and forth, and shakes her head so violently that I think there’s a chance she’ll launch herself out of her chair.

Minnie and Mickey leave, and the Beauty and the Beast segment of the show begins. Gaston, the blow-hard who always made me uncomfortable as a child, shows up. He declares himself a handsome hero. None of these kids give a shit about him, but they go nuts when Belle glides out onto the ice holding a book.

You know the rest of the story; at the end, Gaston falls off the set in dramatic fashion, the Beast takes off his Beast costume under a cloud of dry ice and turns into a handsome man, and Belle finds true love. She closes her books and glides around with her prince to a love song that sounds like a Belinda Carlisle B-side and definitely wasn’t in the original movie.

The kids get a real kick out of the lifts and spins that these skaters are doing. Most of the performers were professional figure skaters; some Disney On Ice dancers have been Olympians. The actual athleticism on display here is impressive, beautiful.

Charlotte Wilder with a shakily-held iPhone

Cinderella’s story begins. She does her thing, and eventually the clock strikes 12. She skates away, thanks to the arbitrary curfew her asshole Fairy Godmother set. Our friendly MC — who’s been hovering at the edge of the rink while interjecting life lessons throughout the show — skates around to see if the glass slipper fits any little girls in the front row. It doesn’t. It also doesn’t fit the Ugly Stepsisters.

Did you know that in the Grimms’ Brother’s version, the Stepsisters cut off their heels so the shoe would fit? My mom used to read me the original fairy tales, peeling back the layer of frosting with which Disney coats these mostly-terrible stories. I loved them. They terrified me, but I was fascinated by the vivid descriptions, like the ones of the sisters’ mutilated feet bleeding all over the glass shoe. I couldn’t believe women would hurt themselves like that to be beautiful or loved. Or both.

Cinderella gets her prince. They dance around to another song that sounds a little bit like off-brand Tina Turner.

“No matter how mean, mean, mean everyone was, she was able to rise above bullying and bickering to be kind and hopeful,” says our MC. “She found her happily ever after, plus a cute new pair of shoes.”

“That’s bullshit!” I want to yell to the children around me. “Don’t just roll over when someone’s a dick! Stand up for yourselves! Buy your own shoes!” But I stay quiet.

We move on to Rapunzel from Tangled, a movie that came out after my childhood and which I haven’t seen. Rapunzel is still pretty damsel-in-distress-y, but she does whack a dude on the head with a frying pan in the first scene, which the kids (and I) get a total kick out of. There's also a horse comprised of two people — one for the front legs and one for the back legs. I’m not sure how they can see anything.

“There's a horse with two people and it's working?” Cruz marvels beside me. “Pretty cool.”

Rapunzel is sassier than Belle and Cinderella, but the story still ends with her skating off into the sunset with a prince.

It’s intermission. I leave my seat and pass a guy hawking lemonade and sno-cones instead of the usual beers Barclay’s sells. The floor is sticky with various forms of spilled sugar. I wait in line behind tens of princesses to use the bathroom, then go buy some cotton candy. The man asks if I want one with or without a crown. I say with, but it’s too small to fit my head, so I go back to my seat and give it to Melinda. It falls over her eyes and she giggles. Her mom takes it and puts it on.

Someone starts a chant — Elsa! Elsa! Elsa! — as the lights go down, and, indeed, here comes Elsa from Frozen. I haven’t seen this movie either (I should babysit more, or, like, have a child if I want to stay up to date), but I think the gist is that Elsa’s pissed at her sister for wanting to marry someone she’s only known for one day. In retaliation, Elsa turns all of Norway or wherever into a hellish winterscape using her magical powers. Then disappears and her sister has to find her.

It’s finally time for “Let It Go”, the hit song from Frozen which I somehow know all the words to. The crowd of children is singing along almost louder than Elsa is through her mic. Melinda and even little three-year-old Sanaa beside me know all the words.

Let it go, let it go That perfect girl is gone Here I stand!

Frozen’s abridged version ends and the MC spews a message about how truly loving someone means sacrificing everything you have for them, which, I mean, let’s all relax here, okay? Then Moana skates onto the stage and the screaming is more intense than it’s been for the whole show. I haven’t seen Moana either, but Google tells me it’s about a Polynesian girl whose grandmother has tasked her with saving her island and finding herself. The kids sing along to every word and dance in their seats. They — okay, I — take particular delight in a massive, sprawling crab with a sparkly shell whose costume seems impossible to skate in.

Charlotte Wilder

Sorry this picture is so shitty, but it was the best I could do

We meet a dude named Maui, who is not Moana’s love interest. I don’t think she has one, as far as I can tell. She’s just a determined girl who’s scared of the responsibility placed on her but willing to rise to the challenge. She overcomes her self-doubt as she sails around the ice rink on her motorized boat. Kids are screaming, “I AM MOANA!” as she sings, “I am Moana!” There are fireworks inside Barclays when she finally saves her island.

But hold on. I have to take you back to the first part of the show for a second, when Belle comes out and floats around the outer edge of the rink. She flips through the pages of her book, ignoring Gaston (and his puffed out chest) as he tells her he’s going to marry her. She begins to sing: “I want so much more than they have plaaaanned.”

Children are cheering, reaching toward the stage, and I, a full-grown woman, break down into sobs. I’m crying because these shows are money-grabs designed to make you feel. They are operations that strike at the core of your being with surgical precision: Turn the lights down here, crescendo up to a chorus and strike a soaring note there, insert a key change, spin some spotlights, make the heroines reach toward the sky with longing. Each element must’ve been focus-grouped and tested within a billion-dollar inch of its life to tug at specific ventricles of your heart. I am powerless against Disney’s execution of this emotional warfare.

But I’m also crying because I’m looking at all these little girls around me — earnest, excited, hopeful — and I want them to have more than anyone has planned for them. I want them to glide off into the bright lights with a prince the way Belle does, if that’s what they truly desire. But I also want them to throw an encyclopedia at the Beast’s head and start their own bookstore, if that’s what they’d prefer. I want all the Gastons of the world — because I know they’ll meet more than a few of them — to be taken down before they encounter them. I want this world to be more fair than it currently is.

And it must be said that Disney is, in its own way, changing.

Whether it’s because feminism sells these days, or because it’s what Disney thinks is The Right Message, the company seems to be Leaning In. The 30 minute cliff-notes of stories, and the order in which Disney On Ice chose to present them — from oldest to most recent— made Dare to Dream feel like a trip through the brand’s feminist awakening. We started with women whose only rewards are finding men, then moved on to a woman whose primary complication is her relationship with her sister, and ended with a girl who literally saves her entire people with the help of her badass grandmother.

“She persevered and never lost sight of herself,” says the cheerful MC of Moana, after praising Cinderella’s ability to land a man and new footwear an hour earlier. “That's what inner strength is all about. Be yourself!”

The princesses come out to take a bow. The kids give all of them, especially Moana, big cheers, but save the biggest for Mickey and Minnie. Then the skaters disappear. Melinda is clapping. Sanaa grins. So do their mothers. They’re in the Happily Ever After for a moment. But then the lights come up.

[creepykingdom]

Disney’s Aulani Hawaii Resort: Trip Report

Trip Report By Grant Duvall / Pictures by Brittany Duvall

In September, Brittany and I decided to join my family on our annual trip to a random state.  This time was Hawaii, so you know we couldn't miss the chance to check out Aulani, the Hawaiian Disney resort!  I will say right off the back that while we typically look for inexpensive ways to check out theme parks, there is no cheap and easy way to do Aulani.  Flights from Los Angeles to Hawaii roundtrip on a good rate are around $600 a person, and you will be paying $25 a bag each way.  A night in the off season (we went in September) was over $500.  I understand that if you stay for multiple nights that the rate does lower, however, with so much to do in Hawaii it seems like a waste to spend that kind of cash when most everything can be seen in  a 30-40 hour period.  To make the most of your stay, I suggest getting there early and staying late the next day, as while you need to check out by 11, they will hold your bags so you can continue to enjoy your stay until 10 at night.  This does take the sting off of the total cost.  Also, if you are traveling with kids, you can arrange (for a crazy fee I'm sure) Moana to meet you at the airport and take you to the resort, which is about a 20-30 minute drive from the airport.  Speaking of transportation, if you park a rental car on property, expect to pay a $37 parking fee.  This rate is good for your whole trip, however, as we were only there for one night it felt like a royal rip off.  Anyway, now that I have the legwork out of the way, on to the actual review!

We arrived at around 11, and were pleasantly surprised to find our room ready even though check in wasn't until 2.  They also upgraded our room for free, which was awesome!  They gave us a balcony which wasn't originally paid for, and seeing a Hawaiian sunset is pure magic.  The room was spacious and the tub was huge with an overhead shower that comes from the ceiling onto your body, which was a nice experience.  The bed was comfy, and there were Disney touches (Disney cartoons on the tv, towels folded like Mickey) but it didn't feel overly Disney such as Art of Animation.  Also shocking: we were some of the few non Asians on property!  Turns out, Aulani (and Hawaii in general) is a popular vacation/honeymoon spot for the Japanese and South Koreans.  Most signs are in Japanese as well as English (as well as local business signs on the whole island), and it was nice being able to talk about Tokyo Disney with people from there.

The hotel itself is very reminiscent of the Polynesian/Animal Kingdom Lodge.  This was a new build for Disney (as opposed to them taking over other hotels) and shares a lot of the same architecture choices as Animal Kingdom Lodge.  There are huge vaulted ceilings, very pointy roofs, and several waterfalls throughout.  There's no part of the hotel that isn't extremely well decorated.  Also, everything gets charged to your room like Magic Bands, but I'll get to that at the very end.  

There are a few entertainment options throughout the resort.  Several swimming pools line the property, as well as a really nice beach for snorkeling.  There's a saltwater swimming pool where you can snorkel with fish, however, that's around $40 for the day from what I saw, and being that we were planning on snorkeling through Hawaii, it didn't seem to make sense.  It was a milder version of Discovery Cove in Orlando.  The main swimming pool centers around a giant rock sculpture with several animals carved into it (much like the Tree of Life at Animal Kingdom), with a really nice lazy river that takes you through caves and waterfalls, and a couple of nice but short waterslides.  This is the main attraction and it's perfect for relaxing.  We spend a couple hours in the lazy river and loved it.  Throughout the whole resort, including the lazy river, you can look for Menehunes, which are basically Hawaiian leprechauns that if found could be good or bad (allegedly Stitch is based on the Menehune legend).  The Menehunes are stone statues that hide everywhere, including elevators, and can be a challenge to find.  There are hundreds of them.  We sadly missed the pool party as it only runs certain days, and Goofy gets into the water and hangs out with everyone.  Also missed due to being the wrong day was the luau, where Disney characters dance and you get traditional Hawaiian fire dancing, a feast with roasted pig, etc.  At night, around the fire pit, a man named Uncle tells Hawaiian legends.  Of course, it wouldn't be a Disney resort without night time movies, so they do have those.  The entertainment changes daily, and one thing we did see was  a surfing demonstration for kids featuring Chip and Dale.  It was cute, but definitely not geared toward me!

Aulani has several characters you can meet, and all are wearing unique garb.  We met Stitch, Goofy, Pluto, Chip and Dale who go by Kipe  and Kala there, Shellie Mae (who isn't normally in North America) Mickey, Minnie, and Donald.  Daisy shows up rarely but we didn't see her.  Typical character lines, where you line up, they sign your book and you get a photo.  I will say they were incredibly energetic, almost moreso than over here in Florida!

Dining is great.  We did the Menehune Mischief show for one dinner, which had Stitch and other characters trying to find Menehunes.  This was in the main buffet, where the food was very fancy and top notch (all you can eat prime rib, Jonas crabs, snow crab, typical Hawaiian fare, and the usual Disney desserts), and they interacted with various objects in the dining room to trigger movement.  Stitch would be looking for a Menehune, and a bush would randomly throw a banana at him.  This was interesting as the show was working its way around the dining room, so each person got to see different scenes.  There was no real story, but it was entertaining.  Breakfast was also done at the buffet, which had a variety of Japanese and Hawaiian dishes as well as Mickey waffles.  We loved the Japanese food at the buffets in Tokyo Disney, and this was a welcome surprise!  Our other dinner was at 'Ama'Ama, which was billed as contemporary island cooking.  I ate snails cooked in bone marrow served in a bone, as well as a couple other snack type things.  This was ok, but didn't feel particularly Hawaiian or Disney.  The cost of this was as much as the prime rib buffet.

Ultimately, Aulani was a total blast, but was, between hotel, food for a few meals, parking, and a few souvenirs, over $1200.  The sticker shock was intense.  I supposed someone could do it cheaper, however, unless you bring your own food in and get a taxi (which you'd be paying for anyway), and not buy a single thing, you'd still be spending nearly $600.  It's a nice beginning or end to a Hawaiian trip, but I wouldn't recommend staying there for a week like many people we saw were doing, unless you have a ton of money to burn.  It was a great experience, the food was awesome, the pool was great, and the characters were wonderful.  It was a great rare opportunity that I recommend to anyone!

[survivormotunui]

First, let’s meet our judges!

DAISY! Representing Survivor: Mariana Trench

DREW! Representing Survivor: Burma

LOGAN! Representing Survivor: Hoenn

Now, let’s get to the boats.

“Our boat is used by those who go out to sea in search of great valuables. The boat itself is a very sturdy boat, as there is no deck to stand on. All passengers ride inside the boat’s cabin in order to protect themselves from storms, and looters. The boat with the power of Maui’s hook and the Heart of Te Fiti is able to morph into solid gold in times of danger SHINY. The boat quickly sinks to the bottom of the ocean if there is a storm or a rival ready to attack. Through the three purple port holes on each side of the boat emerge long crab claws that allow the boat to scuttle along the bottom of the ocean. At any time, the magic can be reversed and the boat can once again rise, either to attack a rival, or when the storm has passed. The great blue sea is no match for this stylish Tamatoa themed pirate ship!”

DAISY 17/30

Aesthetic - I think it's cute. it's not necessarily pretty but I don't think it has to be pretty to be aesethetically pleasing. 6/10 Reasoning - Maybe its just my ADHD brain, but I found your explanation a little hard to follow. Maybe it was too long or there was too much to explain, I think it could've been a little simpler. That being said, the reasoning isn't bad. 6/10 Practicality - I understand that there's magic in the movie, but I think when you know something is going to be judged based on practicality you should at least take that into consideration and have something more than "its just magic". It doesn't make much sense that a boat would be able to sink to the bottom of the ocean and everyone in it would be fine, and I think saying it's because of magic is a little flimsy. 5/10

DREW 27/30

Aesthetic - 9 Reasoning - 10 Practicality - 8 Honestly thank you all for embracing some Moana mythology, that felt like some shit that would happen in the world. She cute as fuck and y'all should be proud

LOGAN 24/30

aesthetic 6/10 Reasoning 8/10 Practicality 10/10

TOTAL: 68/90

“The boat of Te Fiti is used to deliver nature's bounties to all of Te Fiti's islands, spreading seeds and sharing the harvest among island communities. The boat is made from sturdy natural materials, and has abundant storage space for seedlings and loads of harvested crops. While not piloted by Te Fiti herself, the crops are graciously provided by Her.”

DAISY 21/30

Aesthetic - I think yours is the prettiest of the 3. I love the flag and the vines and flowers, and structurally it's just beautiful. 8/10 Reasoning - I think your reasoning makes sense, and ties into the aesthetic well. It seems like a very put together and well thought out idea. I like how everything ties into each other. 7/10 Practicality - I think saying "the boat is made from sturdy natural materials" maybe isn't specific enough, and it doesn't give me enough to judge off of. But again, I like how it ties into all the other decisions you made and it all has a cohesive theme. 6/10

DREW 24/30

Aesthetic - 8 Reasoning -7 Practicality - 9 It's a cute boat but Maui already killed an eel, buried its guts, sprouted a tree, now we got coconuts. Idk how needed this boat is in the world, but I like it

LOGAN 20/30

aesthetic 8/10 Reasoning 6/10 Practicality 6/10

TOTAL: 65/90

“We made our boat similar to the one Moana and her ancestors used in the movie. They use it to journey beyond to reef and find fish and resources they need. A big point of the movie is the connection between the people and the sea and how everything is intertwined and Grandma Tala's spirit becoming a stingray is something that shows that. During the movie she helps guide Moana so we added a stingray to help us and make sure we know the way!”

DAISY 10/30

Aesthetic - I think the fact that it's hand drawn may put you at a bit of a disadvantage compared to the other tribes. Also the proportions look a bit off, which makes it awkward and unstable looking. I also don't think it looks similar enough to the boat from the movie to claim it's "similar". Maybe "loosely based off" would've been a better way to put it. 4/10 Reasoning - I think you focused too much on the stingray, when it was really such a small part of the design and I didn't even notice it was there until you mentioned it. I actually had to search for it in the picture because it's so tiny. If you wanted to really incorporate it, it should've been part of the boat itself and more prominent, or bigger, or just not included as much in your reasoning. 4/10 Practicality - You really don't explain how the boat works at all other than the stingray, which again, isn't even part of your boat. I really don't know how to judge for this since all you did was explain how the boat ties into the story of the movie. Which is sweet and nice but doesn't fall into any of the categories you're being judged on. 2/10

DREW 18/30

Aesthetic - 5 Reasoning - 6 Practicality - 7 SHE HAND DRAWN THAT'S PRECIOUS. And I know it wasn't a requirement but putting the names of the people there was cute, I love a good flag challenge. And I'm sure the boat would function, but that's about it. There's nothing fancy about it, even the stingray isn't actually a part of the boat, she just there as the boat drifts by. I wanna give this more but Montison in their infinite wisdom didn't make effort a category so this is where we are

LOGAN 21/30

aesthetic 6/10 Reasoning 8/10 Practicality 7/10

TOTAL: 49/90

That means congratulations

and

you have won immunity!

For submitting for his tribe, congratulations

you have won an individual reward!

Unfortunately, Te Kā, you will be attending tribal council. Due to his boating accident, Ricky will not be casting a vote. The rest of your votes are due TUESDAY, JULY 11, 11PM EST/8PM PST

[spryfilm]

“Moana” (2016)

Animation

Running Time: 107 minutes

Directed by: Ron Clements & John Musker

Featuring: Auli’i Cravalho, Dwayne Johnson, Rachel House, Temuera Morrison, Jemaine Clement, Nicole Scherzinger and Alan Tudyk

Maui: “Do you know who Maui is? The greatest demigod that ever lived, who stopped the sun, who pulled up islands out of the sea, and battled monsters. Do you know why I know all this? That’s because, *I* am Maui!”

The latest in a long line of Disney Princess movies has arrived on DVD and Blu-ray, but unlike other Princesses this one has agency, she does not rely on a man, or is even interested in a man in that love story kind of way. If anything, she is an enabler of the leading muscle bound hero, but does not need him in any traditional way. In fact this film is more about brain than brawn!

“Moana” begins with a small pounamu stone that is the mystical heart of the goddess Te Fiti is stolen by the demigod Maui, who planned to give it to humanity as a gift. As Maui made his escape, he was attacked by the lava demon Te Kā, causing the heart to become lost in the ocean along with his magical fishhook.

A millennium later, young Moana Waialiki, daughter and heir of a chief on the small Polynesian island of Motunui, is chosen by the ocean to receive the heart. Her father, Chief Tui, insists the island provides everything the villagers need. But years later, fish become scarce and the island’s vegetation begins dying. Moana proposes going beyond the reef to find more fish. Tui rejects her request, as sailing beyond the reef is forbidden.

The film moves along at a brisk place and like most recent Disney Animation films it follows the trope of a road movie and borrows from others, this is definitely not a negative – one of my favourite parts could be lifted straight from last years “Mad Max: Fury Road” (2015) when Maui and Moana are attacked by sentient coconut pirates called Kakamora, who surround their boat and steal the heart, but Maui and Moana retrieve it. This for me was one of the more technically complex parts of the film and the director’s pull it off as well as George Miller ever could.

In fact the entire film (as you would expect from Disney) looks incredible, the animation is slick enough that at one point there are animations within animations within animations, that leave you forgetting that the main part of the film is for all intents and purposes a cartoon – my hat, as always goes off to the animators – and except for this years “The Jungle Book” (2016) has to be one the best animated films I have ever seen.

Another fantastic part of the film is the music composed by wunderkind, and I am sure soon to be EGOT winner Lin-Manuel Miranda (and Opetaia Foa’I and Mark Mancina) – his touch is all over the music and lyrics and he even sings on the soundtrack (now available). Without the great music leading the way this film would still be great, but with the music, it adds another layer to the movie and lets us experience the fantasy of Moana and Maui – as well as helping us feel for them as real life characters and by the end of “Moana” you will be humming the music for quite some time.

Except for the scene stealing Jemaine Clement and Disney’s good luck charm Alan Tudyk the movie is filled with new actors providing both their spoken and musical talents. The standout is of course Auli’i Cravalho as the voice of Moana, in her debut role, who matches her onscreen alter ego with a voice that is both strong and vulnerable, she matches up against her co-stars like she is the one with all the experience. Of course there is the one and only Dwayne Johnson, who has a voice made for Maui but maybe not the singing in a Disney film – he does have only one song so all is forgiven pretty quickly! Finally, in a film with many surprises Jemain Clement as a giant crab named Tamatoa with his Bowie like song really ups the ante of how Disney characters can behave and almost steals the show, until the brilliant and inventive ending, with a twist you might not see coming.

This is not only a film for the holidays but is undoubtedly one of the films of the year and one I must say should be considered at the Oscars for not only Animated Film of the Year, but also a best picture nod – this is one of the most original and groundbreaking (with it goes the term populist) films of the century. Not only is the film not a typical princess film but all of the characters are non-white, but has a cast that is non-white as well – remember this is the year when a Japanese animated film is voiced by all white actors and movie stars.

I recommend this to all and it has of course multiple re-watches in it, i would go and purchase the soundtrack as well!

Out NOW!

DVD/Blu-ray review: “Moana” (2016) "Moana" (2016) Animation Running Time: 107 minutes Directed by: Ron Clements & John Musker Featuring: Auli'i Cravalho, Dwayne Johnson, Rachel House, Temuera Morrison, Jemaine Clement, Nicole Scherzinger and Alan Tudyk…