#and then she says stuff then backtracks | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

asahicore · 2 years ago

Text

all i see is gold - pjs (m)

this work contains smut - minors please do not interact

pairing. jay x fem!reader

synopsis. Pretending to be your number one's rival girlfriend to please his parents isn't how you would usually spend a Thursday night, but you really owe Jay a big one this time. You'd sworn this was just a one-time thing - and yet when his parents ask you to come again, the word 'yes' is out before you can stop it. Before you know it and much to your dismay, your feelings for Jay start to change, and you're in too deep to backtrack.

genre. college au, academic rivals to lovers, fake dating au, rich rich millionaire ceo's son jay x poor ass scholarship part-time job reader

warnings. heeseung is a mega asshole sorry to this man, slight violence like the girls are fighting, these two are pathetically in love w each other it's laughable actually, rich people being annoying slightly and also y/n's friends having way too much knowledge about fanfiction tropes... i like my fourth walls broken

word count. 27.1k

a/n. hi sisters user asahicore is back with another repost because she can't be asked to come up with anything original... sorry! i did add a new scene to this fic for.. character development. hope you guys enjoy it, as always let me know your thoughts otherwise i will find you and hold you at gunpoint, have fun love you stay healthy keep slaying bye bye!

“Actually, I think what you just said is complete bull.”

Jay rolled his eyes for the thousandth time in an hour and a few sniggers were heard around the room.

Your tutor sighed and, in an exhausted tone, asked you to “keep it polite, please. This is still a classroom setting.”

“Right, sorry.” You cleared your throat and sat up straighter. “I completely disagree with your statement, Jongseong. Just because a movie has young teenage girls as its target audience doesn’t mean it is completely insipid and has no value, like you’re insinuating. If you look at Mean Girls, for example-”

Jay scoffed. “Oh please, you’re not actually going to use Mean Gir-”

“Ah, would you look at the time? Class is over,” your tutor interrupted. “You can all go home and ponder the riveting discussion Jay and Y/N led today.”

You were pretty sure you heard a general sigh of relief from your classmates. After all, you couldn’t really blame them: it was only the first tutorial of the semester for that course and Jay and you were already at each other’s throats, having something to say about every idea the other put forward, no matter how small.

“Oh, and Jay, I do have to side with Y/N here. There’s a surprising amount of things that can be said about that film,” your tutor admitted with an apologetic smile. You, however, were harboring a triumphant expression. Nothing better than having the tutor agree with you against Jay.

As you packed your stuff away, mentally patting yourself on the back, Jay approached you, looking visibly annoyed. “Seriously, Y/N? Symbolism in Modern Cinema? Since where do you even care about movies?”

You gasped dramatically and put your hand over your heart, feigning shock. “Why, I’m offended that you think you’re the only one who’s allowed to love cinema, Jongseong.”

“Yeah, it’s my thing!” he whined like a child, and you gave him a look that hopefully made him reflect on what he’d just said.

You started walking out of the room and he followed, a step behind you. “I mean, there’s no way you didn’t know I was taking this class. Are you like, obsessed with me or something?”

“Yes, Jongseong, that’s exactly the case. I’m sooooo obsessed with you, I took this class just to see you.”

You were obviously joking, but he looked at you with a smirk and said, “I wouldn’t put it past you. I wouldn’t put it past anyone, to be honest; I mean I am the most good-looking, smartest, richest guy on camp- Ouch! That hurts!”

You had just punched him in the shoulder, not wanting to listen to his self-indulgent ramblings. “Get your head out of your ass, Park. I just thought it would be an interesting class. Why are you even taking it, anyway? I don’t think a cinema course is gonna teach you much on how to run daddy’s company,” you asked him, a smirk teasing your lips.

He rolled his eyes (you thought they might stay stuck at the back of his head, with how often he did that) and took a tone one might use to speak to a child. “You see, Y/N, I also major in Visual Studies. I’m not a single honors Econ major like you. Loser.”

He’d added the last word with a playful smile on his face, purposefully trying to rile you up. You were about to reply with an equally petty remark when you heard your name being called out.

“Y/N! Wait up!”

You could recognize that voice anywhere. Your heart started beating a thousand times a minute and you felt your hands get clammy. As you turned around, you forced a relaxed smile and told yourself to stay calm, but as soon as you made eye contact with the boy, all rational thought left your brain.

“H-hi, Heeseung.” You heard Jay snort behind you but were too entranced by Heeseung’s presence to tell him off.

Clearly enjoying your nervousness, Heeseung smiled at you and bent down so that he came directly face to face with you. “It was nice seeing you last Friday. You should come to our parties more often, not many people can set fire to the dance floor like you did.”

Your cheeks had already turned bright red when he’d called your name, but now you probably looked as crimson as a fire extinguisher. Over the weekend, you’d tried so hard to forget about that party where you had gotten black-out drunk and made a fool of yourself on the dance floor. Sure, you’d had a lot of fun, but when you remembered that Heeseung literally lived in the frat house that had hosted the pre-start of term gathering, you’d felt so embarrassed and wanted to never have to face him ever again. Yet here he was, and he had obviously seen you.

“O-oh, right, haha. Um, I was pretty drunk, but, yeah, um, it was f-fun.” You cringed at yourself. Where was the Y/N that had torn down Jay’s every argument just moments prior? You were usually self-assured and confident, but whenever you were around Heeseung, you didn’t know how to act.

Heeseung stood up straighter and patted your head. You thanked yourself for having washed your hair that morning. He chuckled and said, “That’s good to hear. Guess I’ll see you around, then?”

“Yeah!” you replied with a tad too much enthusiasm.

“Great.” As he walked past you, you didn’t need to turn around to see the nasty looks exchanged between Heeseung and Jay.

“Jongseong.”

“Heeseung.”

The venom with which they had spat the other’s name would’ve sent a chill down your spine any other time, but right now, you were too busy mooning over what had just happened. Like many girls on campus, you’d had a crush on him since freshman year; but unlike most, you’d never actually tried to do anything about it. Realistically, you could probably bag him - Heeseung could be seen with a different girl at every party and didn’t seem to be too picky about who he finished the night with. But you also couldn’t stand the idea of being just another drunk fuck to him. So, you’d never revealed your feelings to him, although he could most definitely see the effect he had on you.

As soon as he was out of earshot, Jay burst into laughter. You turned around and looked at him, arms crossed, waiting for him to be done with an impatient look on your face. When he finally caught his breath, he had tears pooling at his eyes and was holding onto his belly.

“H-hi, Heeseung,” he breathed, trying to imitate you by making his voice higher in pitch but laughing too hard for it to come out properly.

“There’s nothing funny about this, Jongseong.”

“Oh, but there is, Y/N. And you know what the worst part is? You could do so, so much better than that guy. I mean, he’s a Business major, for fuck’s sake.”

“And what’s wrong with that?” you asked hotly, starting to get defensive.

“You’re studying Econ, Y/N. Dating a Business major, that’s like, the highest betrayal possible.”

You rolled your eyes at his stupid values and started walking towards the exit of the building, bumping into his shoulder on the way. He started following you again and added, “It’s not even just about that, Y/N. You know his reputation, he’s clearly bad news. There’s no point in liking a guy like that.”

Because you knew how much he hated it, you always made sure to call him Jongseong instead of Jay. But right now, you didn’t feel like joking around. You turned around abruptly, Jay almost bumping into you, and looked at him pointedly. “Look, Jay, I know you and Heeseung have this weird competition between the two of you of whose dad can make more money. But that doesn’t give you the right to tell me I shouldn’t like him.” And with a mumble, you added, “I can’t help liking him, okay?”

You went on your way again and Jay caught up with you so that the two of you were now walking side by side. Sighing, he said, “Whatever. When he inevitably hurts you, though, I’ll say I told you so.”

—

After flipping off Jay as your way of saying goodbye, you joined your friends in the cafeteria. You told them about your encounter with Heeseung, and as much as they wanted to support you, they couldn’t help but think your behavior at the party on Friday was hilarious.

“I wasn’t gonna show this to anyone, but I can’t hold it in anymore…” Sunoo said, pulling out his phone.

It wasn’t hard to guess what he might be hiding in there, so you quickly protested, “It’s been three days, Sunoo. I’m sure you can hold in whatever it is longer than that.”

He looked at you with a sheepish smile and said, as if he didn’t have a choice but to show everyone, “It’s so funny though.”

Sieun and Keeho were urging him to show them, so you just hung your head as Sunoo pressed play. You didn’t even need to look at the video to know what it was: even in his drunken state, Sunoo had had the foresight to film you as you danced like there was no tomorrow, knowing this was a special occasion. Your friends tried to reassure you that you didn’t look that bad and you just seemed to be having fun, but the sniggers they tried to hold back in vain told you otherwise.

Keeho seemed to take pity on you when seeing your defeated expression. “Y/N, I promise you it’s not that bad. You were very obviously drunk, and so was everyone else. If anybody remembers this, they’re probably thinking that you were fucking awesome. Can’t you see how everyone is cheering you on in the video?”

With an exasperated sigh, you replied, “I don’t care that everybody saw me. I care that Heeseung did. I only started drinking that much because I thought it’d help me relax and talk to him. I didn’t think I’d go wild on the dance floor.”

Your friends exchanged a look and immediately burst into laughter. You wanted to get mad at them, but even you had to admit the whole situation was pretty funny. You let them make as much fun of you as their hearts desired, then, to change the subject, told them about the tutorial you had in the morning with Jay and how much fun it had been arguing with him.

Sieun was looking at you thoughtfully, until she said, “You know, I think it’s…” she paused for a second, trying to find the right word, “interesting, how much effort you put into getting into the same class as Jay when you could’ve directed that energy towards getting into one of Heeseung’s class.”

The sudden statement took you aback. “Well, I wouldn’t say I put that much effort into it…” you stammered in an attempt to defend yourself.

“Y/N,” Keeho started, an accusatory tone to his words, “you literally asked Jake to tell you what courses he was taking this semester and when his tutorials were, and when you somehow managed to be enrolled in a class that’s supposed to be reserved for Visual Studies students, you emailed the tutor to make sure you’d be in the same group as Jay. I’d say that requires some effort.”

You huffed, mildly offended. “I- Well- I just thought it’d be fun to argue with him about something else than economics, you know. There’s only so much to say about that.” Your friends didn’t look very convinced. “Plus, there are no classes that Heeseung’s taking that seemed interesting, and even if they were and I managed to get into them, I just would’ve stuttered trying to answer easy questions. At least if I’m in a class with Jay, I know it’ll be fun.”

After that last sentence, Sieun looked at you like you had proven her point. What a smartass, you thought. What was she even trying to prove?

“Is no one gonna say it?” Sunoo asked, bewildered, looking around at your friends. “It sounds like you like him, Y/N.”

Oh.

Your automatic response was to go, “Pfffft,” but when Sieun and Keeho didn’t disagree with Sunoo, you looked at them, wide-eyed. “Are you guys serious? I don’t like Park Jongseong, that’s ridiculous.”

Sure, you liked arguing with Jay, that wasn’t a secret. That didn’t mean you liked him, or anything like that. Just the thought made you shiver. Dating Jay had never even occurred to you; as soon as you’d met, you had taken on a rival-like relationship, arguing about everything and anything. Sure, he was smart, and not too bad-looking, and he was really rich, and when he wanted he could actually be quite nice - but that was not the point! Most of the time, he was just annoying and argued with you for no reason other than to rile you up, and had the most unreasonable opinions you’d ever heard. He took his wealth for granted and sometimes came across as so privileged it made you want to puke.

Sieun took your hands in hers and tried to convince you with her eyes, her eyebrows furrowing slightly. “But think about it, Y/N. It’s the enemies to lovers trope!”

You snatched your hands out from her grip and gave her a pointed look. “This isn’t Wattpad, Sieun, this is real life. And Jay and I aren’t enemies, we’re merely rivals.”

“Even better!” she exclaimed.

“I completely agree with Sieun,” Sunoo said. “Y/N, you’re such a rivals to lovers type of gal.” You rolled your eyes, but Keeho was fervently nodding his head in agreement.

“By the way, did you guys hear about his parents’ company throwing a fundraiser?” Keeho said. This piqued your interest, but after your friends’ accusations, you couldn’t look too excited about anything Jay-related, so you nonchalantly asked him to go on. “It’s for some charity, they’ve invited all the big names, and apparently it’s gonna be huge so they need some people to waiter. I’m thinking of applying. It pays really well and it’s gonna be so fancy. It’s not like I’ve got much else to do that night anyway.”

“When is it?” you asked, still trying not to sound too interested.

“Friday in two weeks.”

“Well, if it’s a Friday, I’ll be getting wasted, so count me out,” Sunoo replied.

“I’d come, but the idea of serving rich people as they give out ten thousand dollars when they could give a million and it wouldn’t even affect them in the slightest, not to mention having to do it with a smile on my face, makes my skin crawl, so no thanks,” Sieun said. She wasn’t wrong, but this was also Jay’s parents you were talking about. Not only would Jay be there, and your presence would surely piss him off, but his dad’s company was one of the top of the country and being introduced to their world, maybe even getting to know some people there, even just as a waitress, could really benefit you in the long-term. You’d never admit it to him, but you’d been dreaming of working there ever since you’d first heard of it. Nothing might come out of this, but it was worth trying.

“What about you, Y/N? You in?”

You looked at Keeho and said, “Yeah, let’s do it.”

—

The next time you saw Jay was for your Economics of Cities and Regions lecture a couple days later. As appropriate of the top students, you two always sat at the very front row along with only a few other brave students. Keeho was always bugging you to sit with him at the back, but you liked being able to look the professor in the eye so they could see how much attention you were paying to them. You listened carefully to the whole lecture, and when it ended, you turned to Jay and called his name in a sickly sweet voice, smiling as warmly as you could. He turned to you with a horrified look on his face.

“Please never do that again.”

Your smile instantly dropped. You should’ve known there was no point trying to be nice to him. “So, I’ve heard about your dad’s firm’s fundraiser…”

Before you could even finish your sentence, he interrupted you. “No. No way. You’re not working there. Nope. Not happening.”

“What? Why not?”

“Because this is an important night for me to make myself known as the CEO in line and I can’t have you distracting me.”

You didn’t question why he considered you a distraction and just pressed further. “C’mon! I promise I won’t be in your way.” He looked at you as if to say I don’t believe you. “I need the money.”

“Then get a part-time job.”

“I already have one! And it doesn’t pay very well.”

He looked at you and crossed his arms over his chest. No, you didn’t notice how his shirt tightened around his biceps. Shut up. Exasperated, he asked, “Do you even know what this fundraiser is for?”

That hadn’t even crossed your mind. Why did you need to know what it was for? All you needed was to work there and make some money. You just shrugged “No.”

He rolled his eyes at you. “You’re unbelievable. It’s to help students in need of scholarships. You know how my parents sometimes pay for students’ tuition fees? Well,” he sighed, and started to pack up his stuff. “This is to encourage CEOs of other companies to do the same. They’ve invited a few students to talk about why scholarships are important for them.”

Interesting, you thought. It’d have been nice to be one of those students, but being a waitress was already good enough. You’d have to be quicker to get the role next time. “I’ll be part of the waitering team, so I won’t embarrass you, don’t worry.”

After a beat, Jay asked, “Why are you even telling me this? I can say no all I want, I’m not the one deciding on the staff. I’d just really, really appreciate it if you didn’t come.”

You eyed him for a second until realization hit you. Right. It wasn’t like Jay had any say in this, so why were you trying to get him to agree? It had just seemed natural to you that you’d talk to him about this.

You shook your head and said, “Well, I’m gonna go anyway. I just thought I should let you know. That way you know you’re gonna need to bring your best game to impress me.”

You noticed Keeho waving his arm impatiently at you, waiting for you to leave the lecture theater. Jay watched you walk away, and he couldn’t stop the smile spreading on his face.

—

“So… Y/N will probably be working at the fundraiser,” Jay said, looking down at his notes. As on most days, Jake and Sunghoon were over at his place, half-studying, half-messing around.

The two boys in front of him groaned in unison. He raised his head and added defensively, “What? I’ve barely said anything yet.”

“Yeah, but you’re talking about Y/N. Again,” Jake said, as if stating the obvious.

“You know, I’m actually surprised he’s managed to not mention her for that long. It’s been what, fifteen minutes since we got here?” Sunghoon half-joked.

Used to his friends’ teasing, Jay ignored them and continued. “On any other occasion, I’d be more than happy to have her around” - cue another groan from Jake and Sunghoon - “but I really have to impress my parents and all the guests that evening. If I don’t, I’m gonna have to work twice as hard.”

Indulging his friend’s rant, Jake asked, “What’s wrong with her being there? She’s not gonna go around and tell everyone you’re a little shit as she hands them champagne glasses.”

Jay rolled his eyes. “No, of course not, but I’m gonna be hyper-aware of her presence and I don’t want it to distract me.” A third groan. “Plus, I don’t like the idea of her being there as a waitress. She should be with the students who talk to the guests, she deserves it more than anybody I know.”

After a beat, Sunghoon, with gracious subtlety and tact as always, added, “You know, if you had just manned up and asked her out in freshman year when you still had the chance, maybe you could’ve taken her to the fundraiser as your girlfriend and not have her go there as a waitress. Just saying.”

“It’s 2022, Sunghoon, nobody says things like ‘man up’ anymore.”

“You dumbass, is that all you’re hearing from what I just said-”

“What I think Sunghoon is trying to say,” Jake cut in, “is that this could have been avoided had you had the guts to tell her how you feel. But rest assured, my friend, it can still happen. No such thing as too late.”

“You always say that, but how the fuck am I supposed to ask her out when she’s only ever seen me as her rival? Plus, she’s head over heels for that prick.”

Sensing that Sunghoon was getting ready to deliver another one of his punchlines, Jake quickly replied. “Who cares about Heeseung? It wouldn’t be hard to make her see what an asshole he is. And once that’s done, you can just give her the Park charm,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Sunghoon fake gagged at the thought of his friend trying to flirt, and even Jay had to admit he hated how Jake had formulated his sentence. “That’s all I do though. As soon as we met, we got into arguing, and that’s just how we communicate now. She wants competition, so I give her competition. I don’t know what else to do.”

His friends sighed, unsure what to tell him after having had the same conversation hundreds of times. “Did you ask her why she took that cinema course? I thought it was weird she asked me for all that info. She wanted me to keep hush-hush about it, too,” Jake asked.

Jay thought for a second, then answered, “I did ask her if she was obsessed with me.” A fourth, deserved, groan. “She just said she thought the class seemed interesting. She didn’t even know I was a double major, by the way.”

Jake and Sunghoon chuckled, both thinking but not daring to say that, indeed, no one knew Jay also majored in Visual Studies. The three boys continued chatting for a while until they fell into silence and finally started getting some work done.

Jay managed to get you out of his head for a couple hours, but when his friends left and he was alone, his thoughts immediately drifted back to you. When the two of you first met in freshman year, you had become instant rivals, both top of your class, and always disagreeing on everything. He hadn’t minded the dynamic at first: he thought your ideas and the conversations that stemmed from them were always interesting, and he had a lot of respect for you. He wanted to know why you thought that way or what made you say certain things, and soon enough he wanted to know everything about you. He’d noticed things like how you chewed on your pen when you were in deep reflection, or how you’d look intently at anyone who was talking, as if you were making mental bullet points of their arguments only to break them down afterwards. When he finally realized his feelings for you (not without help from Jake and Sunghoon, who thought he couldn’t get any more obvious), he felt like your rivalry-almost-turned-friendship had gone too far, and you’d think he was stupid for liking you. It didn’t help that your confident attitude always broke down in front of his arch nemesis Lee Heeseung, making it painfully clear that you had a crush on him.

That night, he kept tossing and turning in his bed, trying to fall asleep. He hated the idea of you having to be there as a waitress, handing out drinks and mini toasts to entitled guests who probably wouldn’t even look at you. There had to be a few strings he could pull, right?

—

In all twenty years of your life, you had never been to a place like this. As soon as you’d entered the lobby of the building in which the fundraiser took place, you’d been overwhelmed by the sheer extravagance of the room. Every surface was shiny marble, the ceilings were at least fifteen meters high and the whole place was lit up by tiny wall lamps. You were almost scared to see what the actual ballroom would look like.

The fundraiser started at 8:00 p.m. but the staff had been advised to come earlier to prepare everything. You went further in, and now that you had somehow acclimated to your surroundings, you noticed how busy everyone was. People were running around, going from the kitchen to the back room to the main hall in quick strides. You tried getting one woman’s attention, hoping she could direct you to where you were supposed to go.

“Sorry, hi, where do the wai-”

She stopped dead in her tracks and barely looked at you as she whipped out a sheet of paper from her blouse pocket and asked for your name.

“Um, Y/N-”

She checked something off and looked up at you and smiled. “Great, follow me.” You had no time to ask anything else before she swiveled on her heels again and marched towards another room, you in tow behind her. “We’ve got a script ready for you. You just need to learn it in time for tonight and then use your charm on the guests. Oh, and don’t worry about your outfit and all that, we’ve got it covered. Good luck!” And with that, she was off.

Script? Outfit? What was all this about? You panic-texted Keeho, telling him some lady had dragged you somewhere and told you to learn a whole script. When he didn’t answer after five minutes, you assumed he must be busy helping out, but it made you panic even more. You looked around the room and noticed a girl you thought you recognized from one of your classes. You walked up to her, and after saying hi, asked her what the hell was going on here.

She looked at you a bit oddly, as if it didn’t make sense you didn’t know where you were, but clarified things nonetheless. “Basically, the six of us are going to be wearing these tags so that the guests know who we are, and we’re gonna give them a pity story about how we’re so poor but also so smart and able to change the world if only they give us money. That’s what the script is for, it just makes it a bit nicer.” Right, that’s what Jay had told you. But why were you here when you had signed up to be a waitress? It was what you had wished for, but it made no sense whatsoever.

Registering your still confused expression, the girl went on, “They’re also gonna give us nice outfits and make us look more presentable. But not too much, you know, cause a thousand dollar gown wouldn’t really fit with the scholarship kid aesthetic.” You laughed with her. You had to admit the whole situation was a bit ridiculous, but if it could help you out, you would take it. You had needed to take out a loan when you started studying, and the enormous debt you would be in as soon as you stepped out of college already stressed you out.

You learned your script, which was actually just more like detailed examples of the things you should say and what direction your conversations with the guests should take, until somebody called out your name, telling you it was time to get you ready. You were led to another room which was full of clothing racks holding fancy dresses and suits. Your immediate thought was that the clothes in this one room were probably worth more than your entire house.

You could only admire the room for a few moments before a stylist threw a dress in your arms and practically pushed you into a dressing room. You took a good look at black dress before putting it on. It wasn’t overly fancy; the girl you had talked to was right, it wouldn’t make sense for you to look like you were the richest person there. With its modest cleavage and mid-thigh length, it was what you assumed to be formal enough for this type of event, and surprisingly fit you like a glove. It made you look put-together and accentuated your features in the subtlest way.

When you walked out of the dressing room, the stylist eyed you up and down, adjusting the dress here and there, then stepped back and mumbled absent-mindedly, as if thinking out loud, “Wow, he does have good taste.”

You didn’t have the time to ask her what she meant as she had already turned away, looking for jewelry to finish off your outfit. The earrings, necklace and ring she gave you weren’t huge 20 carat diamonds, but you’d never worn such delicate jewelry before, you were almost too scared to move with them on you in fear of breaking them. The stylist, however, didn’t seem too fussed, and as soon as she was done, said, “Well, that’s all for me. Off you go to hair and makeup now!”

Hair and makeup? You were going to get your hair and makeup done by professionals? You felt like a celebrity. Your whole life, your mom had cut your hair, and you bought your makeup at the drugstore.

While they didn’t make you look like a Hunger Games Capitol citizen, when they were done with you, the reflection that looked back at you in the mirror was uncanny. You were still you, there was no doubt about that, but you looked like a perfect version of yourself, which only makeup expertly applied could create. Although they’d never seen you before, the makeup artist had managed to accentuate or make disappear lines you had never noticed on your face before, and the hair stylist had done your hair in a simple but very flattering manner, letting it cascade naturally down your shoulders.

The stylists let you admire yourself for a few moments, knowing you probably weren’t used to such pampering, but soon ushered you out to the ballroom; the fundraiser was just about to start, and you needed to be there for the beginning of it. You were made to sit at a table with the other students at the front, close to the stage. An organizer came to see you and explained how the evening was going to go down. Most of the evening would be spent standing, chatting to the guests and persuading them to donate, except when the main course was served. There was no fixed seating chart, so you could go with whomever invited you to sit with them. All in all, your goal was to be as likable as possible, and get guests to understand why scholarships were important without sounding desperate, just like the script indicated.

Tapping your foot nervously, you watched as more people trickled in, each looking richer than the previous. Soon enough, the whole room was seated, and a man you recognized as Jay’s dad arrived on the stage, welcomed by polite applause. You listened intently to his welcome speech, and you could see Jay’s presence and charisma in him; every word of his seemed to be thought out and to have purpose. He did a spectacular job at kicking off the fundraiser, and you were clapping enthusiastically when he was done, not expecting what he was about to do.

With an extended hand, he pointed at you and the five students you were sitting with. “Of course, this wouldn’t be possible without these six brilliant students whom we have the honor of welcoming tonight. Would you all come up on stage with me?” he asked warmly, although you knew it wasn’t really a question. You all looked at each other bemusedly, but you didn’t have much of a choice, so you all got up and walked up the stairs to the stage.

You hadn’t realized how many people were attending until you were standing right in front of them. The bright spots lighting the stage made it hard to distinguish anyone’s face in the crowd, which only made your position more intimidating to you. Thankfully, you didn’t have to introduce yourself; Jay’s dad did it for you, and after a few minutes, you were free to walk off the stage and start mingling with the guests. Whew.

As soon as the six of you stepped off the stage, guests started approaching you, engaging you in conversation right away. You were a bit taken aback, but remembering you needed to be perfect tonight, you put on the most genuine smile you could muster. Them coming to you was better than having to chase after them.

An hour and a half passed, and you had been engrossed in so many conversations that you hadn’t noticed so much time had already gone. The only time your attention had been pulled out was when Keeho came to your group, offering you toasts of caviar and bubbly champagne, and discreetly (or at least as discreetly as Keeho could be, which wasn’t very) gave you a wide-eyed look, which you returned. You had no idea why you weren’t working like him either.

When somebody announced the main course would soon be served, a lot of guests went to sit down, so you were now stuck with the most pretentious man you had ever talked to. All the other guests, no matter how rich or famous or successful they were, had managed to stay somewhat humble and not flaunt how much higher they were in society than you, but it seemed that it was all this man knew how to do. You knew you needed to stay polite even in front of scum like him, but it was hard giving him your undivided attention when he was going on and on about basic economic principles you had learned in your first year of college. Your eyes started drifting around the room, until they fell on a certain someone.

Lee Heeseung was here. Of course he was; his parents, although they were rivals to the Park family, were still huge names in your country’s economy, and they couldn’t not be here tonight. Heeseung’s presence wasn’t required, but you imagined it couldn’t hurt his image to be seen by many adults at a gathering like this one. He was standing by the bar, talking to a girl who was clearly trying to flirt with him, but he didn’t seem to be into her. You hadn’t meant to stare, but his eyes soon met yours. You immediately felt heat rise to your cheeks. He didn’t break eye contact, even when he replied to whatever the girl was saying. His eyes started drifting down from your face to your body, as if he was undressing you with his gaze. You opened your mouth and let out a small gasp at the sheer indecency of the way he was looking at you. The sound you made made you snap out of your daze, and you turned your attention back to the man in front of you, who hadn’t even noticed you weren’t listening to him anymore, so enthralled he was by his own conversation.

You excused yourself, not wanting to be in Heeseung’s sight anymore. You weren’t sure what to make of the interaction - you loved the idea of Heeseung paying so much attention to you, but there was something about the setting and the fact that he was talking with another girl the whole time which made you a bit uncomfortable. Disheveled, you sat down at the nearest table, not paying much attention to who was there.

“Everything alright, miss Y/N?”

That voice was too familiar. Of course, you just had to sit next to Jay’s dad, a.k.a. one of the richest CEOs in the country, a.k.a. the man behind this fundraiser. You changed your expression from distressed to spirited, not wanting him to think you weren’t handling tonight well. Before you could say anything to reassure him, he added, “Not easy, is it, entertaining so many people? I’m sure you’ll get used to it.”

Relief immediately washed over you. You looked down and said, “It hasn’t been too bad, just depends on the person you’re talking to.”

He chuckled. “I thought I saw you talking to CEO Jung. Or rather, CEO Jung talking at you. Sorry about him, he’s just the kind of person you have to learn to deal with.”

You continued talking to Mr Park, and he even invited you to stay at his table when the main course was served. He was surprisingly easy to converse with; he intently listened to you, even though he probably met infinitely more interesting people than you every day, and bounced off of your words naturally. You wondered how such an easy-going man could give birth to an argumentative boy like Jay.

You suddenly wondered where Jay was. You hadn’t seen him all evening, and he wasn’t sitting at his dad’s table either. You assumed he’d be busy with other people, but you couldn’t help being curious about his whereabouts. Not wanting to look around the room searching for him and appear disinterested in his dad, you just asked him directly if he knew where his son was.

Mr Park quirked an eyebrow and asked, “Oh, you know my son?”

“Yes, we’ve had a lot of classes together since freshman year,” you explained.

He seemed deep in thought for a second, until he started slowly nodding his head as if he’d just figured something out. “Of course, you’re Y/N. I knew that name was familiar.”

Why would your name be familiar to Jay’s dad? “Oh, did Jay mention me or some-”

Before you could finish your sentence, Mr Park said, “Ah, there he is,” gaze directed behind your shoulder. And indeed, as you turned around, you saw Jay coming towards your table.

“Dad, mind if I steal Y/N for a second?”

“She’s all yours,” he replied, sending a wink his son’s way. You looked at Jay and he seemed just as confused about his dad’s words as you. But then his eyes found yours and he motioned for you to get up and follow him with a tilt of his head.

“It was really nice talking to you, Mr Park, thank you so much for your time.”

“Of course. It was lovely meeting you, Y/N. I’m sure we’ll see each other soon enough,” he said with a knowing smile.

You didn’t even try figuring out what he meant, and just walked with Jay as he took you to a quieter area of the ballroom. Most people had finished eating and had stood up again, so you’d needed to weave through them, and Jay put a hand on your lower back to guide you better. You ignored the warmth that spread on your skin where he touched you, blaming it on the glasses of champagne you’d had.

When you’d reached a spot where you could talk easily, he turned towards you with a smirk. “I can’t believe you’re already charming your way up to my dad. You’re definitely ambitious, Y/N.”

You rolled your eyes but then remembered where you were and thought it might be best to not give in to Jay’s taunts here, so you kept your voice low when you replied. “I didn’t even do it on purpose. I just sat there, and he happened to already be at the table.”

His smirk only grew wider. “Right.” Then he stepped back a bit, and took a good look at you. Unlike Heeseung’s gaze earlier, the way Jay looked at you in that moment, like you were the only thing worth looking at in this beautiful ballroom, made butterflies erupt in your stomach. God, you really had had too much champagne. “I knew that dress would look good on you.”

You should’ve been flustered by the compliment, but you were too confused by Jay’s words: how could he have known about this? Why did he make it sound like he had chosen the dress? The stylist’s words from earlier suddenly pop up in your mind: “he does have good taste.” There was also the fact that you had applied to work as a waitress tonight but ended up as one of the scholarship students. Slowly, things started piecing together in your mind, and you looked up at the well-dressed, smirking boy in front of you in disbelief.

“Jay. Did you do this?”

“Do what?” he said, an innocent tone to his voice, but a mischievous look in his eyes.

Your eyes widened and you lightly slapped his arm. “You did! I- You- Ugh. Thanks, I guess,” you muttered, looking down at your shoes. You were beyond grateful, but your ego stopped you from being too showy about it.

He smiled at you, and you ignored how much you loved it. “It was no big deal. Just had to change your name from the waitering group to the student reps. Took me two seconds,” he said, following your gaze down, bashfully admitting to helping you out.

“Why’d you do it?”

Because you’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met and the world should know about it, was his immediate thought. But of course, he’d never say that out loud, so he opted for, “I just felt bad for you, really. I know you like to think of us as rivals, so I thought the least I could do was to put us on equal footing tonight.”

Although you had a feeling he wasn’t telling you everything, you weren’t going to press any further. You chatted for a bit longer, the both of you enjoying a relaxed conversation after hours on being on your best behavior, and your ability of talking normally to Jay and not wanting to claw his eyes out surprised you, not to mention the fact that you were… enjoying yourself.

“Anyway, I’m doing the closing speech soon. I’m gonna be awesome, so look closely, yeah?” You knew he wanted to look cool, but you thought he sounded like an excited kid who was about to put on a show for his family. How cute, you thought, and immediately chased that thought away from your brain. That damn champagne must’ve been laced with something.

You both went back into the crowd, and quickly your name was called out by someone you had talked to earlier who wanted to introduce you to someone else. You quickly waved goodbye at Jay, a smile on your face. If anybody had seen him, they would’ve noticed how his cheeks fired up and how he waved excitedly back at you.

And indeed, he had been seen.

His dad had been talking with one of his business partners, but tried to keep some of his attention on you and Jay. He couldn’t help but be curious as to why his son, who had previously never expressed any romantic interest in anyone, was suddenly making sure you attended the fundraiser as a student rep and not a waitress, and why he’d even gone the extra mile and chosen your dress for you. He hadn’t missed the way his son’s face lit up when he was talking to you, and how his gaze lingered on you as you walked away. But he also hadn’t missed how you’d followed Jay without hesitation, and how relaxed you’d looked talking to him. He thought the both of you acted as if it was just you two in a room full to the brim with people. When his wife joined him at the table, he’d told her about their son’s unusual behavior, and she said that she had noticed him looking around as if searching for someone a few times during the evening. They exchanged a knowing smile.

Heeseung had also noticed Jay leading you away from the crowd, and had intently watched your interaction, not even trying to make the girl he was talking to think he was still paying attention to her. He knew you had a crush on him; you couldn’t make it any more obvious. But he also knew how comfortable, how yourself you were around Jay; he’d seen the two of you banter around campus, always arguing about something, whether it was the new law that was being put into place or whether pineapple belongs on pizza or not. Heeseung wasn’t stupid, he’d seen enough rom-coms to know that the girl always ended up with the friend she joked around with and not the hot popular guy that made her feel nervous.

Jay and him had been rivals since he could remember, and not rivals like you and Jay, but proper rivals, who actually had to fight for something. Well, technically, it was their fathers who were competing as CEOs of some of the top firms in the country, but since they were bound to take their place at some point, it had felt like their competition as well. Nothing was off-limits when it came to their rivalry, and you were most definitely not an exception, not to Heeseung. He couldn’t stand seeing Jay have something he didn’t. At that moment, he made up his mind.

Heeseung had to have you.

But before that, Jay needed to give his closing speech. As soon as he’d stepped on the stage, the chatter started to quiet down, and everyone turned their attention to him. Much like you earlier, he hadn’t realized how bright the lights were when standing onstage. He could only see over a hundred people staring right at him, and his confident demeanor from moments ago crumbled at his feet. He scanned the crowd for your face, desperately needing something, or rather someone, to anchor him. When his eyes finally found yours, he felt strength regaining his body. His mother followed his gaze and found you looking right at her son, sending a reassuring smile and thumbs-up his way.

Jay’s speech went very smoothly, and everybody congratulated him for it as they left the room.

—

Back home after a stressful but rewarding evening, all Jay wanted to do was take a shower and pass out in bed. But his parents had other plans.

“So…” started his mother, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

“So?” Jay asked, already fearing whatever his mom was about to say.

“Y/N’s a nice girl,” she simply stated, hoping Jay’s reaction would give her more to go on.

And oh boy did it. He immediately started blushing and stuttering at the sudden mention of your name. He knew you’d spoken with his father at the fundraiser, but he hadn’t thought his mom would bring you up.

“Y-Y/N? Yeah, I guess. But what about her?” he said, looking away and trying to sound uninterested, but blatantly failing.

His parents exchanged a look. “C’mon, son,” his dad picked up, “you don’t need to hide something like that from us. We’re very happy that you’ve found a nice girlfriend like Y/N.”

A nice… girlfriend? Had Jay heard that correctly? His parents thought you two were… dating?

As he stared at them wide-eyed and mouth agape, they just chuckled softly at him. “It’s okay, Jay, really. She made a dazzling impression on all of the guests tonight, and on us. She’s exactly the kind of person you should be dating, so don’t worry about us getting in your way of anything. We approve of your relationship.”

Jay started laughing in disbelief, and his parents just took it as a sign of his relief. If only they knew. “Right,” he said between chuckles, “thanks, guys.”

Why he didn’t deny what his parents were saying was beyond him. A part of him didn’t want to disappoint them by telling them the truth - his mother had always urged him to get a girlfriend, saying he wouldn’t have the time for dating later on in his career, that he should enjoy his college years as much as he could. Another part of him loved the idea of dating you, and it hurt him too much to shatter that thought.

So he just nodded along, saying he was glad they liked you.

“We really did,” said his father. “In fact, you should bring her over for dinner sometime this week. It’d be nice getting to know her in a less formal setting, don’t you think? Ask her what she likes, I’ll ask the chef to cook it specially for her.”

“S-sure,” Jay said, already panicking - he’d either have to come up with an excuse as to why you couldn’t come to dinner, or with ways to convince you to be his pretend-girlfriend for a night. If he actually did ask you, he’d have to be very careful about it, otherwise it’d end up with you trying to pull his hair out.

What the hell had he gotten himself into?

—

At 10:43 a.m. the next day, you were waiting for Jay in front of the library. Right when you were about to turn your bedside lamp off, you’d received a text from him, asking to meet. Apparently, there was something he needed to tell you, and whatever it was, you were absolutely dreading it. Jay always had a lot of things to say, but he’d never felt the need before to warn you in advance that he needed to tell you something. Those kinds of messages were never very pleasant, and even less so when they came from Park Jongseong. Rereading the messages, you really couldn’t figure out what was so important that required you to take a break from your weekly Saturday morning study sessions.

00:44 archnemesis: Hey Y/N

00:44 archnemesis: Are you still up?

00:44 you: do NOT fuckboy text me jongseong

00:44 archnemesis: Sorry

00:45 you: go away im trying to sleep

00:45 archnemesis: Not trying hard enough obviously

00:45 you: shut up

00:45 you: what do u want

00:45 archnemesis: I need to tell you something.

00:45 archnemesis: Can we meet up tomorrow morning?

00:46 you: wtf

00:46 you: what is it ???

00:47 you: cant u just tell me now??

00:49 you: jay ???

00:49 archnemesis: Um.

00:49 archnemesis: I’ll tell you tomorrow!

00:49 archnemesis: :D

0:49 archnemesis: library 10:45?

0:50 you: ughhhhh

00:50 you: yeah whatever

00:50 you: this better be worth it istg

00:51 archnemesis: Good night Y/N <3

00:51 you: EWWWW

You’d stayed awake for a while after that, trying to figure out whatever it was he needed to tell you, but the only thing you were sure about was that it had something to do with the fundraiser, since he’d texted you after it. Had he finally realized how superior in every aspect you were to him and would finally bow down to you? That seemed pretty unlikely. Did one of the guests there really like you and had spontaneously decided to pay for your studies and offer you an internship at their company? Were they impressed by your intellect and wanted you to become their kids’ private tutor? Possible. Or even better, maybe it was Jay’s parents whose attention you had particularly caught, and they wanted to reward you in some way. Maybe they thought you were amazing and that you’d be a perfect girlfriend for their son, and Jay, ever the daddy’s boy, would now shower you with gifts and attention in order to capture your heart.

Ha, as if, you thought, laughing to yourself. It was a lot less funny when Jay told you about the little misunderstanding.

You were sitting at the library café with Jay, who’d wanted to postpone delivering the news as much as possible and had bribed you with the promise of free hot coffee. Well, free for you, at least. Not that a coffee would create much of a dent in his bank account. After five minutes of chit-chatting, you were getting annoyed with him and didn’t understand why he was being so uncharacteristically awkward and asked him to cut straight to the chase. When he told you his parents thought you were his girlfriend and wanted to have you over for dinner this week, it took all you had to not spit the coffee right in his face. Not only was it ridiculous, it was practically exactly what you had imagined.

“Are you kidding me, Jongseong? I can barely pretend to be your friend, how the hell am I gonna pretend to be your girlfriend?”

Your words were like bullets piercing right through his body, but he had to ignore the pain, telling himself you were just shocked by the sudden news. “I’m sorry, Y/N, I just- I panicked, and I didn’t know how to tell them the truth. They seemed so happy,” he said, head hung low. You knew he was genuinely sorry, because he’d almost never actually said those words to you, so he had to mean them. The only other time you could think of was when he’d dropped his water bottle all over your laptop. The next day, he’d offered you a brand new MacBook with all of his notes already downloaded on it.

You sighed, unsure what to make of the whole situation. At any other time, your first reaction would’ve been to flip Jay off and tell him to get out of his own mess, but you felt like you owed him after what he’d done for you at the fundraiser. Even though he made it seem like no big deal, it still meant a lot to you that you’d gotten to spend the evening making yourself known to the guests and not serving them smoked salmon toasts, and that was all thanks to him.

“I guess I do owe you one, Jongseong.” His head snapped up and he looked at you with the most hopeful eyes you’d ever seen. “But before you get carried away,” you warned, “this is a one-time thing. Find an excuse, say we broke up or whatever. Fake dating is like, the most predictable trope ever,” you said, remembering all the heated discussions you’d had on the topic with Sieun.

But Jay paid no attention to that last sentence - he leapt up from his chair and came over to your side, engulfing you in a surprisingly warm hug. He muttered thank you over and over into your hair before realizing hugging wasn’t something you guys did and he might have just made things way worse. To his relief, when he took a sudden step back, you didn’t look upset at all, but rather amused at his sudden burst of excitement.

He returned to his seat and cleared his throat. “Right. Thanks a lot, Y/N. My dad likes to have family dinners on Thursdays, so it’ll probably be then. I’ll, uh, I’ll take you there, so don’t worry about that.”

You chuckled at him. “You know I’ll never let you live this down, right?”

He sighed and shook his head, saying, “I know. But I’d rather have that than disappoint my parents, to be honest.” He smiled at you as if to take away some of the gravity of what he’d just said. You thought it wasn’t something he wanted to delve into, so you took a sip of your coffee and brought up the topic of this week’s tutorial for your cinema class, knowing it was a surefire way to start an argument with him.

—

On Monday at lunch, you were sitting at the cafeteria with your friends. Keeho was telling them how fancy you’d looked and how you’d managed to charm everyone.

“I feel like I should be jealous, but what you did looked a lot more tiring than what I did, to be honest. When you’re a waiter at that kind of event, those rich people don’t even register your presence, so they just say the wildest shit in front of you. Apparently, CEO Cha is having an affair with CEO Liu’s wife, whoever they are.”

You chuckled at your friend, feeling even more thankful towards Jay that you didn’t have to spend your evening like that. The four of you continued chatting, which mainly consisted of complaining about how you already had so much work only two weeks into the semester. You were intently listening to the niche topic Sieun was learning about in her Bio class when someone dropped a bag on the table right next to your tray. The letters ‘Gucci’ were written on it in the iconic but simple font.

Your gaze went from the bag to the person holding it, and of course, it was none other than Park Jongseong himself.

“Hey, Y/N. Hey, guys,” he said, giving your friends a simple nod. They all replied with a confused hi. You were just staring at Jay, wondering what he was doing here.

“I got you something for Thursday night,” he explained. “Gotta wow the parents, you know?” he added with a wink.

“Uh-huh” was your very clever reply. You could feel your friends’ gaze ping-ponging between you and Jay.

Jay looked around the table, an awkward silence spreading between everyone. He cleared his throat. “Well, let me know if it fits or not. See you around.” And with that, he was gone as quickly as he’d arrived. You turned back to your friends, and their confused faces echoed your own.

“What are you waiting for?” Sunoo nudged your arm. “Take a look inside!”

You took the bag on your lap and pulled out a magnificent green satin dress that was a lot more elegant than the one you’d worn at the fundraiser. You guessed Jay really did want for you to make a good impression on his parents. It seemed to be quite long and to not show too much skin, which you appreciated. You could only hope it would look as good on you as it did seeing it like this.

As soon as you’d taken it out, you’d heard your friends gasp.

“Oh.”

“My.”

“God,” they’d said in turn, obviously mesmerized by the gift.

You handed the dress to Sieun, who clearly wanted to admire it up close, and looked into the bag in case there was anything else. You were maybe hoping for a pair of earrings or a necklace, but it was wishful thinking. Instead, you found a sticky note signed Jay, which read, Wear the accessories and shoes from last week. I can’t spoil you too much just yet.

You hadn’t even noticed Sunoo was reading the note over your shoulder until he put his hand over yours in what seemed to be a confidential manner and said, with all the seriousness in the world, “Y/N, be honest with us. Is Park Jay your sugar daddy?”

Sieun and Keeho’s head snapped up and they stared at you expectantly. “What the hell? Why is that the first place your mind goes to?” you said, almost laughing in disbelief.

Bewildered, Sunoo replied, “How can it not? The wink, the Gucci gift, the note? It screams sugar daddy!”

“Wait - didn’t he say something about his parents? I’m not an expert, but I don’t think meeting the folks is sugar daddy etiquette,” Keeho mused, taking this way too seriously.

You took a deep breath. There was no point in not telling your friends what had happened, so you explained the events of the past few days to them, from Jay changing your role at the fundraiser, to his parents thinking you were dating, to dinner with them on Thursday.

When you were done bringing them up to date, they all looked at you with incredulous looks. After a moment, Sieun broke the silence: “Y/N, you’ve become a real walking rom-com. I’m so proud of you.”

Keeho was tearing his bread apart, throwing chunks into his mouth. “I don’t know. Fake dating is kinda boring, to be honest.” Sieun let out an offended gasp and Sunoo nodded in agreement.

“We’re not gonna be fake dating. Just for this one evening, I’ll pretend to be his girlfriend, and it’ll be over as quickly as it started,” you said, hoping that’d be the end of this conversation, but your friends wouldn’t back down so easily.

“Y/N, that’s literally the whole concept of fake dating. You’ll think it’s only that one time, and before you know it, you’ll be married with three children, and it won’t be fake anymore,” Sieun warned, but you just shook your head and laughed, stealing Keeho’s other piece of bread from his tray.

“You guys are blowing this way out of proportion.”

“And you’ll be blowing something else soon…” Sunoo muttered, just loud enough for your table to hear. You let out an offended gasp but Keeho and Sieun just burst into laughter.

“Sunoo!”

“What?!” he replied, imitating your outraged tone but sporting an amused smile. “Your whole rivalry thing is too cute, I can’t take it seriously. You won’t admit it to yourself, but you clearly like Jay a lot more than you do Heeseung,” he said with a shrug, as if it was all so obvious. You tried to find support in Keeho or Sieun’s eyes, but they avoided your gaze, guilty expressions on their faces.

“Guys, come on, you can’t be serious. Jongseong and I are just- we’re just-” Rivals? Friends? Soon-to-be fake boyfriend and girlfriend? Who knew anymore. You took a deep breath. “It’s not like that.”

“Whatever you say,” Sunoo sighed, but to your relief that was the end of the conversation. Your friends quickly moved on to another topic, but their words gnawed at the back of your mind like rabid bunnies. Either they were completely insane, or you had gravely misjudged Jay this whole time.

—

When Jay rang your doorbell at 7:00 p.m. sharp on Thursday, you were just done applying a thin layer of gloss on your lips. That morning, he’d texted you to ask for your address and tell you to be ready at seven. You took a good look at yourself in the mirror and headed down the stairs to get the door, but your mother had beat you to it.

Not used to keeping secrets from her, you’d told her everything. She’d looked at you curiously the whole time, a slight smirk on her face as if she knew something you didn’t. And sure enough, when you were finished talking, she’d said, “I knew there was something between you and that Jay boy. You talk way too much about him.”

Not her too, you thought, but you didn’t need to encourage her delusions by telling her your friends thought the same, so you’d tried to defend yourself. “Mom! I just told you, I’m only pretending, I’m not actually his girlfriend. If I did like him, you’d be the first to know.”

She looked at you with a knowing smile that moms loved to wear. “I do know. You’re the one who doesn’t.” You’d dismissed her with a roll of your eyes. Everybody around me’s going crazy, you thought.

When she opened the door, it revealed a very smartly-dressed Jay (but when was he not?), bouquet in hand. He immediately handed them to her and introduced himself.

“Nice to meet you, Mrs Kim. I’m-”

“Jay, I know. Y/N’s mentioned you.”

“Has she?” he asked, a genuine grin blooming on his lips. You ignored how the glint of surprise and - hopefulness? - in his eyes tug at your heartstrings.

“Just once or twice, and never positively,” you interrupted, appearing next to your mom. Taking your appearance in, she nodded at you approvingly, but Jay just stood there, mouth agape, seemingly transfixed by you. He only snapped out of his daze when you called out his name.

“You ready to go?” you asked, and hoped that the heat that had traveled to your face was hidden by your makeup.

“Uh, yeah, yeah. Let’s go. It was nice meeting you, Mrs Kim.”

“You too, Jay. Thanks for the flowers. I hope Y/N will be a good fake girlfriend to you tonight.”

“Oh, you told her?” Jay asked you, looking somewhat disappointed.

“I wasn’t gonna lie to my mom about my boyfriend,” you said, nudging him out of the door. “Bye, mom!”

You ignored her reply (“Don’t have too much fun!”) and walked speedily towards Jay’s car, which looked far too expensive for this neighborhood. As you got closer, he took a few quick steps in front of you and opened the passenger door for you. You rolled your eyes, not wanting to let on how the gesture made your stomach flip. “No need to go that far, Jongseong. Don’t try to woo me.”

He hurried to the driver’s seat, looked at you with a grin and said, “Might as well get into character now.” His gaze lingered on you for a second too long, and you started feeling self-conscious when his eyes moved up and down over your body. When you coughed, he suddenly turned his attention back to the front and gulped, then started the car. He looked taken aback himself, as if he hadn’t even noticed he was staring at you. After a few seconds of silence, he said, “I really do have good fashion taste.”

Although he was technically complimenting himself, you caught yourself hoping he also meant you looked good in the dress he’d chosen for you. “You could have included shoes and jewelry, you know. I wouldn’t have taken it the wrong way,” you said with a playful tone.

“Sounds like you’re already getting used to a lavish lifestyle,” he retorted, making you smile sheepishly.

“I’m just not used to dressing up nicely like this. It’s nice,” you said truthfully. You weren’t sure where the honesty was coming from, but something about being in a car with Jay made you feel like you could say anything - it felt safe, like whatever you could tell him would stay between the two of you. What happens in Jay’s car, stays in Jay’s car, or something along those lines.

Jay wanted to tell you that if you gave him a chance, you could do this anytime you wanted. He’d buy you all the dresses you could dream of, and give you a taste of his world, which he so often found bland and shallow, but that he was sure you could light up in the blink of an eye. But he couldn’t say that, so instead, he said, “Yeah, I noticed. I don’t think anything you’ve ever done or said offended me more than that one time you showed up to class wearing a ‘where the hell have you been, loca?’ t-shirt.”

“Shut up, that shirt is amazing!”

“Maybe, but the movie it’s quoting is an absolute trashfire of a film, if you can even call it that,” he claimed, knowing it’d get a reaction out of you.

“Don’t talk shit about Twilight, Jongseong, or I’ll mess tonight up and your parents will think you’re dating a psycho.”

He turned to you with a smirk. “I’d like to see you try.”

You’d always known Jay was a confident man. It’s obvious in the way he holds his head high whenever he enters a room, or how he manages to stay calm and collected during an argument with someone who’s practically shouting at him (you, usually). And while he was always self-assured during your debates, seeing him act like this to practically flirt - could you describe it like that? - with you rendered you speechless. And you hated being speechless.

So you crossed your arms with a hmph and looked out the window, turning away so he couldn’t catch your fluttered state.

You finally arrived at his parents’ house after a half-an-hour drive (“You live so far away, do you seriously drive to campus and back everyday?” “Yes, Jay, not all of us can live in a three-bedroom flat in the middle of the city”). As soon as you walked in, his mother greeted you with a warm hug, telling you how pretty you looked, and his father clasped your hand tightly, the lines around his eyes showing as he smiled at you. By the looks of it, you wouldn’t need to do much for them to like you.

You could tell Mr Park was a businessman by the way he didn’t beat around the bush when talking to you. As soon as you’d sat down in the (or at least one of the) living rooms for drinks and small appetizers, he asked, “So, Y/N, tell us about yourself.”

Having anticipated such a question, you started, “Well, I’m an Econ major-”

“Yes, but I know there’s more to you than just academics,” Jay’s dad interrupted with a well-intentioned smile.

You looked at Jay, hoping he could help you out. He just looked back at you as if he was waiting for your answer as much as his dad was. “Right. Um. Where should I begin?” you said with an awkward chuckle. You felt a bit put on the spot, but there was only genuine curiosity in all three pairs of eyes looking at you, so you felt comfortable enough to go on.

“I’ve always lived here. Or, technically, in the suburbs. Since I spend most of my time either studying, working at my part-time job or commuting back and forth between school and home, I don’t have much time for hobbies. I just use my free time to spend time with my friends or my family.” You looked at the three people in front of you, wondering if you’d said enough. After a beat, you added, “Sorry, was that too depressing?”

Mr and Mrs Park chuckled at you, and he instantly reassured you, saying, “No, no, not at all. Tell us about your family.”

You were expecting that one too. “Well, it’s just my mother, my little sister and me. But she’s at boarding school right now, so I only see her during the holidays.”

“Boarding school - that’s pretty impressive,” commented Jay’s mom.

You smiled fondly at the thought of your little sister. “Yeah, she’s a smart cookie. Got there on a scholarship and everything. She likes it most of the time but she does complain about how the people there are all-”

You stopped yourself before your tongue could slip up and potentially offend Jay’s parents. But to your surprise, they smiled and, in turn, said, “Rich and self-centered?”

“Little kids who think they run the place when they’re only fourteen?”

A chuckle escaped you, not expecting them to share that kind of opinion with you and your sister. An amused tone in your voice, you nodded your head and said, “Yeah, exactly.”

“Yeah, I know all about those. Your boyfriend here might have been born into wealth,” he started, and you tried not to choke on your drink at Jay being referred to as your boyfriend, “but my father’s company, the one I’m in charge of now, only started being successful when I was in high school. My dad worked his way up from the ground, so he and I both know what it’s like to not be well-off. I’ve tried to not turn Jay into one of those rich kids who think they’ll rule the world just cause they have money, and… well, I hope I did a good job.”

You looked at Jay with a grin. He looked right back at you as if to say, I dare you to tell my dad he’s wrong. If this was anyone else in any other situation, you definitely would’ve told them Jay is one of the most privileged people you’ve ever met. You thought for another second - yes, Jay was definitely privileged, but there was a sort of innocence about him. He’d never used his wealth to make you feel inferior to him or anything of the sort. When he’d bought you that MacBook, it was to apologize, not to show off. It was as normal for him to have his meals cooked and laundry washed as it was for you to sigh in defeat every time the price of milk went up, even by just a cent or two.

So, still looking at him, you replied, “Yeah, I’d say you did a pretty good job.”

The way Jay’s eyes looked in that moment, fond and soft, made you want to never look away. But you didn’t want to make it awkward, so you turned back to his parents, who were watching the two of you with affection. Maybe Jay and you were a little bit too good at this whole fake-dating thing.

A maid came into the room to announce dinner was ready, and you all headed to the dining room. When plates of your favorite food arrived, you looked at Jay, astonishment written all over your face.

“How did you know?”

“You might’ve mentioned it here and there…” he sheepishly answered, knowing fully well that he’d gotten the information from a tweet you’d made eight months ago.

As conversation picked up again and you exchanged with his parents over a bunch of different topics, from childhood memories to that weird new Netflix show that’s strangely addicting, you tried to ignore Jay’s stare that was burning into the side of your face.

“What about your dad?” he suddenly asked, catching everybody in the room off guard. Noticing your confused look, he continued, “Earlier. You said it was just you, your sister and your mom. What about your dad?”

His mom furrowed her eyebrows at him and said, “Jongseong, leave her be. If she hasn’t told you, she probably doesn’t want to talk about it.”

You took a deep breath. “No, it’s alright. I don’t mind talking about it, I just don’t usually bring it up cause it makes people think of me differently? Like they start to pity me just because my dad’s out of the picture, when, really, it hasn’t affected me that much. I’ve never known him, my mom has always raised the two of us on her own.” You looked down at your hands. You hadn’t even realized you’d been fiddling your fingers. “It just seems too cliché, the poor girl who lives in the suburbs and is on a scholarship and doesn’t have a dad and redeems herself by having good grades. Which is why I like to usually keep it to myself.”

You looked back up at them and were relieved when you found understanding and not pity in their eyes. If there was one thing you didn’t want to happen, was for them to think you were leeching off of Jay or trying to get his money. Even though you weren’t actually dating, it would’ve still damaged your ego if they had seen you that way.

A few hours later, dessert was finished, and you could tell everyone was starting to tire (or had had too many glasses of wine) by the way the conversation was starting to make less and less sense. Jay was looking at the three of you in amusement, stone cold sober, as he knew he’d have to drive you home later.

“Well, Y/N, son, we’re not going to hold you hostage here any longer. You still have classes tomorrow,” Jay’s dad said.

His parents led the two of you to the door as you gathered your coat and bag. “It was so lovely getting to know you more, Y/N. You truly are a sweet girl, and we can tell you’re making our Jay very happy,” his mother said, pulling you into a hug.

“You better treat her well, son,” said Mr Park. Jay looked over at you, and there was something in his eyes you couldn’t quite explain; all you knew was that it sent shivers straight down your spine. “I will,” he simply said, but with so much honesty, it made you wonder if he actually did mean it.

“Oh, and Y/N, there’s an event this Saturday. It won’t be as fun as ours last week, but I’m sure you could find a way to enjoy it. Plus, it wouldn’t hurt for people to see what a nice, hardworking girlfriend Jay has,” his father said, beaming down at you.

Jay and you exchanged a look, and the panic at the sudden invitation made you say, “Yes, I’d love to attend!” instead of finding a palatable excuse.

You exchanged final goodbyes with his parents, and as soon as you were in the car, you let out a hearty groan.

“My God, what’s wrong with me? Why did I have to say yes to that?”

Jay started the car. “I’m surprised too. If you had given me three seconds, I could’ve come up with an excuse for you. But I mean, I’m not gonna complain.”

You turned your head towards him, a pout on your face. “What do you mean?”

Jay kept his eyes straight on the road as he answered. “Well, like he said, it won’t be a bad look for me to have you on my arm. As much as it pains me to admit, you’re charming and intelligent, and,” he glanced quickly towards you, “I have good fashion taste, so you don’t look like an absolute fool in that department either.”

You snorted at his coyness. “Just say I’m pretty and move on, Jongseong.”

“Is that what I said, though?” he asked, a devilish grin on his face.

You gasped dramatically, trying to appear as offended as possible. “Your dad literally just told you to treat me well, I’ll have you know.”

“They really fell for it, didn’t they?,” he said with a sigh. “I have to say, you did a pretty good job tonight. Almost got me wondering if you’re not used to being people’s fake date for the night.”

“Yeah, it’s my side job actually.” You smiled at each other, and when the eye contact lasted a second too long, you both quickly turned your head to the road. “So, what’s Saturday night about?” you asked, wanting to break the silence.

“Oh, it’s probably just another boring event where the grown-ups go to socialize and flaunt their wealth or their children’s prowess.”

“Wow, look at you being all critical. I thought you lived and breathed that kind of stuff.”

“I like it when it has a purpose. Like a fundraiser, or a company opening, or whatever. But this is just another excuse for people to show themselves off. You don’t have to come, you know. I can probably find a way out for you.”

Once again, without thinking, you immediately answered, “I’ll come.”

Jay glanced at you quickly, an eyebrow raised. “Wh- Really?”

You shrugged, trying to stay casual. “I mean, I don’t have anything on Saturdays. Might as well keep you company. Turns out you’re not always insufferable.” You’d lowered your voice for that last sentence, only half-heartedly admitting it. But of course, Jay wasn’t going to let you go with it.

“Huh? What was that? I don’t think I heard you,” he teased, leaning slightly towards you.

You gently nudged his shoulder, saying, “Shut up, you heard me. Just because I tolerate you slightly more doesn’t mean you’ve stopped being my number one rival.”

You’d never seen Jay smile that much. You sometimes caught glimpses of it when he was with his friends, but with you, he usually had an arrogant smirk, so seeing his genuine grin made your heart swell with joy you couldn’t explain.

“Of course not. I wouldn’t assume anything else.”

He dropped you off at your house and made sure you were inside before driving away. When you told your mom about your night, she watched you with a smile, that knowing glint in her eyes still there. When she tried hinting at you having feelings for the boy, you’d gotten off your chair and shouted good night! before heading to bed.

—

Saturday quickly rolled around the corner, and you were in your room with Sieun, trying on the two dresses Jay had given you to pick from. “They’re both good, I just wanted to see if you’d choose the best one,” he’d said. This time, he’d also included a new pair of shoes and a set of matching jewelry. Your friends kept teasing you about him being your sugar daddy (“you can’t deny it anymore, Y/N”), and you had to admit you were starting to feel a bit like that, even though you weren’t really giving him any sugar. He was just spoiling you like it was his day job.

He was right; both dresses were gorgeous. They were both black, but one of them was body-fitting with an open back, while the other cinched in at the waist and had puffy sleeves. You couldn’t deny that you looked good in the first one; Sieun had let out the loudest gap when she’d seen you in it. But you both agreed that it was on the riskier side, and it was probably more appropriate to wear the second dress.

You were laying on your bed, talking about this and that. It’d been a while since it was just the two of you, and it was nice catching up with her.

“So…” she’d started, an impish tone to her voice. You knew immediately what she wanted to talk about and let out a loud groan, but that didn’t deter her. “Wanna tell me about Jay?”

It was obvious what she was trying to get at, but you weren’t going to give her what she wanted. “Well, he’s rich and has a huge house. Not surprising. He drives well. He’s not half as annoying when he’s in front of his parents. Probably not trying to be as much of a smartass. He seems to think he’s all that. He-”

“Okay, okay, I get it!” she said, laughing. “What I mean is, has anything changed between you two? Have you finally come to your senses about the boy?”

You thought about it for a second. Something had definitely shifted in your perception of Jay. You felt it in the pit of your stomach every time he smiled at you. But it was scary: this wasn’t you and Jay. You and Jay argued, and riled each other up, and got on each other’s nerves. You didn’t crack jokes so you’d hear the other laugh, or agree without thinking when they asked you for a favor. It was confusing, so instead of voicing out those concerns, you lied. “No. Not really.”

But your friend wasn’t buying it. “C’mon. The guy buys you dresses, gets your mom flowers, drives you to his parents’ for dinner. I know it’s not for realsies, and you’ve got integrity or whatever, but you can’t completely be indifferent to it, Y/N. Even you’ve got to admit Jay’s hot.”

You laughed at your friend’s reasoning. “Fine. Maybe he’s not just someone to beat anymore. I guess that’s what fake dating will do to you. But that doesn’t mean I have to say he’s hot.”

She turned to fully face you. “Not even when he’s all dressed up? Or when he hands you a bag that has contents worth thousands?”

Her eyes were telling you that you had to agree with her. You tried to suppress a smile, still not wanting to admit anything. Just because you and Jay had been rivals since you’d met didn’t mean you went blind every time you saw him. Of course, you knew how attractive he was. But you had conditioned yourself to never see him that way, so letting on that you didn’t think he was completely repulsive felt like betraying yourself.

Sieun laughed at your reaction. “C’mon! Say it!”

You pursed your lips together, suppressing a smile, and shook your head. The tilt to Sieun’s head and the devilish glint in her eyes told you your friend was up to no good - and indeed, a second later, she was on you, tickling your sides and asking you to “say it! Say it!”

“Fine, fine!” you said between breathless giggles. She finally relented. “I think Jay’s hot.”

“Do you, now?”

The sudden male voice made you and Sieun shriek. You sat up in your bed and found its owner - sure enough, Jay was standing in your doorway, leaning against the wall and clearly liking what he’d just heard. Your mother soon appeared behind him, explaining that he’d knocked and she let him in, telling him to go up to your room. She mouthed sorry and quickly scurried down the hall.

“I’m not sure why it took you so long, but I’m glad you’ve finally opened your eyes, Y/N.”

Sieun’s eyes were going back and forth between the two of you, until she stood up and said, “Well, I guess that’s my cue to go. Have fun you two, and tell me all about it on Monday, Y/N!”

Before you could protest, she had already left your room, sending Jay a wink as she passed by him. It was silent for a few seconds as you sat there in embarrassment, cursing the Gods for your awful timing. He walked in and sat down at the edge of your bed, comfortable and keeping his distance at once. The sentence there’s something perfect about him flashed in your mind but you were quick to brush it away. “So, which dress did you choose?”

“The one with the puffy sleeves,” you replied, unable to look him in the eye.

He tutted, shaking his head disapprovingly. “Wrong choice.” You rolled your eyes. “Show me?”

This made you look at him. His smile was taunting, but his eyes were soft. With the way he looked right now, you thought he could ask you anything and you’d say yes. You hadn’t imagined that him sitting on your bed would make you stammer like a schoolgirl in front of her teacher crush, but here you were, almost rendered speechless by the mere sight of him. The fact that he was manspreading and leaning back on his hands, the top buttons of his shirt undone and his trousers stretching against his thighs, wasn’t particularly helping. More shyly than you intended, you told him to turn around and close his eyes, then quickly put the dress on. You were thankful for its lack of zipper - you don’t know if you could have handled Jay zipping your dress up for you.

“Okay. You can turn around now.”

This was already the third time Jay was seeing you all dressed up, but his gaze managed to make the heat rise to your cheeks every time. The corners of his lips rose slightly. “Wrong choice,” he repeated, “but you still look really good, Y/N.”

You couldn’t stop the smile spreading on your face as you coyly replied, tugging at the hem of your dress, “Why thank you, Jay.”

“You gonna be ready to go soon?” he asked, checking the time on his phone.

“Yeah, just need to put on jewelry and shoes, and I’m good. Sieun did my makeup for me earlier.” You put on the thin silver earrings and ring Jay had gotten for you and checked your reflection in the mirror. You put a hand to your collarbone, thinking the area looked a bit empty without a necklace.

“Should I wear the necklace from last time? It looks a bit weird without anything right now,” you asked Jay, keeping your gaze on the mirror.

“Um, I’ve got something, actually. I forgot to give it to you with the rest of the things.” He fished a small box out of his bag and got up to stand behind you. He took out the necklace and put it around your neck, asking you to hold your hair up. You complied, looking at his reflection in the mirror. His hands slightly brushed the back of your neck as he locked the necklace, and you had to keep yourself from visibly shivering at his touch. This was infinitely worse (or better) than him zipping up your dress.

He absent-mindedly let his hands slide along your shoulders until they came to a halt on the sides of your arms. His eyes met yours in the mirror, and with a smile, he said, “All done.”

—

Nothing, not even the fundraiser of the previous week, could’ve prepared you for how lavish this party was. Whereas the fundraiser has been in an 18th century ballroom, in the old part of your city where most of the architecture was traditional, this event was taking place in the newer, richer part of the city where skyscrapers constituted most of the area. You were at the top of one of those skyscrapers, and from the huge windows that made up two of the four walls of the spacious room, you could see the whole city laid out right in front of you, as if it was yours to take. If having money meant seeing this everyday, you thought you could understand why rich people got addicted to it.

As Jay and his dad had warned, the atmosphere that evening was very different from that of the fundraiser. Instead of gathering for a cause, this just felt like an excuse to get drunk and eat tiny, tiny appetizers that probably cost a hundred dollars each, all while looking rich and fashionable. The room was quite dark, only the moon outside and the small LED lamps on every table bringing light in. You’d never seen such an impressive collection of alcohol (to be fair, you’d only ever been to frat parties where most of the alcohol was cheap beer and dodgy brands of vodka), and you were really going to have to restrain yourself from trying out every cocktail the barman offered. Although most of the people there were in their forties to sixties, and the younger people were only there thanks to their parents, the dress code wasn’t as formal as you’d have imagined it to be, and Jay’s assessment of your dress as the “wrong choice” now made more sense. The women wore dresses that showed quite some skin, or didn’t leave much to the imagination, and the men had left their suit blazer behind and hadn’t buttoned their shirt all the way up.

It was all a bit mind-boggling at first, but you soon got used to it, and Jay’s warm hand on your lower back reassured you. At first, the two of you walked around together, talking to different people, and hoping you were making your “relationship” clear to them. You were glad Heeseung or anyone that would’ve recognized you wasn’t there: you could handle pretending to be Jay’s girlfriend in front of his parents and other random people, but in front of the whole school, that would’ve been a whole other level of fake dating.

Watching people slowly slip into a drunk state as the hours passed was just about the only source of entertainment you got that night. The two cocktails you’d tried out were way too strong to your liking, so you didn’t feel like drinking anymore, and Jay couldn’t because he was driving you home later on. When most guests were beyond the point of being able to hold a coherent conversation, you and Jay took it as your cue to leave. You found his parents among the crowd to tell them goodbye, and you could tell they weren’t completely sober by the way they kept telling you you were amazing and made you promise three times you’d attend more of these events. Guess you couldn’t back out now.

And indeed, as weeks passed, it became a normal thing for you to accompany Jay every time he had an event to attend. Your wardrobe was going to burst from all the outfits he kept buying you, but you weren’t going to complain. Jake and Sunghoon, as sons of CEOs of smaller but still important companies, were sometimes present. They usually ditched these types of events, and you couldn’t blame them, but they still made the effort from time to time. You were already friends with Jake before; the two of you had lived in the same dorm building and kept finding each other in the study room late at night, then started to bond over insolvable questions and watered-down instant coffee. Sunghoon, on the other hand, you hadn’t had many chances to talk to, and you couldn’t lie, judging by his appearance alone, you had first thought he was even more self-centered than Jay. But after talking to him for just a minute, you found that that cold facade quickly broke down and he was easy to talk to and very funny - in his own way, but funny nonetheless.

Heeseung wasn’t always at these events, but whenever he was, you couldn’t miss him. He always garnered attention, especially from the female guests, but he always kept his eyes trained on you. In all your three years of liking him, he’d barely spoken a word to you, so why the sudden interest? Usually, you’d have craved his attention; but for some reason, at those parties, you felt indifferent towards it. You hated how he was always with a different girl and never approached you, yet wasn’t trying to keep his glances towards you discreet at all. Jay noticed it too, and a couple times you’d even had to stop him from going up to Heeseung and asking him what the hell he wanted.

Since you didn’t have money to bedazzle people with, you always tried to make a good impression with your conversation and intellect, but some nights you just weren’t up to it and spent most of the time laughing with Jake and Sunghoon, as Jay was often too busy talking to someone else. Tonight was one of those nights; half an hour into the party, an important businessman approached Jay and started talking to him, completely ignoring you. He always ended up apologizing later on, but you didn’t reproach him for it - you knew he had a reputation to uphold and that these events were important for him. Plus, it wasn’t like he owed you anything - you weren’t his girlfriend after all, even if the line between real and fake had started to blur more and more often as of late.

Feeling out of place, you looked around the room and found Jake and Sunghoon at the bar, six shots lined up in front of them. You had never gotten drunk at any of these events, not wanting to risk embarrassing Jay or his parents, but tonight seemed like it was gonna be the most boring one as of yet. So you gestured to Jay that you were leaving and joined the two boys.

“Room for one more?” you asked when you reached them. They turned around and smiled at you; this was clearly not their first drink of the night.

“Of course!” replied Jake excitedly, beaming at you. You could tell he already had a few drinks in his system. Without further ado, you each took a shot glass in your hand, clinked them and brought them to your lips, dipping your heads back. The burning of the alcohol as it glided down your throat was both repulsive and intoxicating, and you were soon reaching for the second one. The boys cheered you on and quickly mirrored you.

Although you’d promised Jay you’d always be on your best behavior, as the evening went on, you never refused a drink that the servers approached you with or the boys offered you. Without Jay to make snide remarks about the snouty guests with, the evening was a lot less fun, so you couldn’t help but down every glass of alcohol that came near you; since Jake and Sunghoon were doing the exact same thing, none of you were realizing exactly how drunk you three were getting. At least, you weren’t going around the room, mumbling drunkenly to everyone; you were staying at a table in the corner, mumbling drunkenly to each other.

Jay was observing you from afar, trying not to worry and stay focus on the conversation (no matter how mind-numbing) he was having; but when he saw you almost fall out of your chair and burst into laughter right away instead of regaining your senses, he thought it was time to come check on you. He couldn’t help but feel guilty for having left you alone for most of the night, and he knew Jake and Sunghoon never stayed sober through these events, but in his defense, he didn’t think any of you would go that far.

He took a seat in the chair next to you, leaning close to you so you could hear him over the music and chatter of the guests. He asked you how you felt, and you gave him a lopsided smile in response. “Me? I feel great. This place is awesome once you’ve had-” you hiccuped, “a few drinks.”

Jay sighed but had an affectionate look on his face. “Right. I think it’s time to get you home.” He saw you open your mouth in what was probably going to be protest, so before you could say anything, he added, “And don’t even argue with me. I’m taking you home, let me just go let my parents know first. You two figure it out on your own,” he told Jake and Sunghoon, who had already started to doze off on their chairs.

He got up and headed towards his parents, and you watched him walk away with a pout on your face. Your vision was blurry from the alcohol and you could barely make out any faces, but you waved in what you hoped was the general direction of his parents.

“She just keeps getting better, doesn’t she? Even when she’s drunk, she doesn’t embarrass herself,” said Mr Park when Jay announced your departure. “I’m glad you have her, son.” Jay was glad for the dimness of the room, which meant his dad wouldn’t notice how hard he was blushing. Even if it was all an act, thanks to his parents, he had gotten closer to you than he thought he ever would.

He bid goodbye to his parents and a few other guests, including Jake’s and Sunghoon’s parents, making them aware of their kids’ state, then went back to get you. The trek to the car wasn’t the easiest as tiredness had started to hit you and your body grew heavier against your will. You fell asleep as soon as your head hit the back of the passenger seat and Jay couldn’t help but think you were the cutest thing in the world. He then realized how far gone he must be to think you still looked precious in your current state.

The car ride was silent, your quiet snores and the soft chatter of the radio the only sounds filling up the space. Jay thought you were dead asleep as you didn’t wake up when he fished your keys out of your bag and carried you bridal style out of the car and to the door, but really, you just didn’t wanna have to walk. When he got to the door, though, you thought it would’ve been unfair to make him struggle that much, so you opened your eyes and quietly told him to let you on the ground. He walked you to your room, tucked you in bed and even got a wet wipe to take your makeup off for you.

As he gently swiped it over your eyes, trying not to hurt you, your drunken state got the best of you and you asked, voice barely over a whisper, “Why are you doing all this?”

He didn’t say anything for a minute, and you thought he might not have heard you, until he replied, “Because I want to.” You were too tired to press the matter any further, although you desperately wanted to. You’d have to wait until you were sober - if you’d have the courage to bring the subject up then.

When he was done and got up from your bed, the sudden absence of his presence around you made you panic, so you called out, “Jay?”

“Yeah?” he said, and you hoped you weren’t imagining how expectant he’d sounded.

“Will you stay?”

Your eyes were too heavy to even open, so you couldn’t see his reaction. After a second that felt like an eternity, he answered, “Of course.”

You heard him steal a pillow and lay down on the carpeted floor next to your bed. Maybe it was the remnants of alcohol in your system, or the fact that spending so much time together, especially as his girlfriend - fake girlfriend - had made you see him in a new light, or the fact that you felt like your whole world would collapse if you didn’t have him next to you at that moment, or all three of those things. All you knew was that something beyond your control made you whisper “come here” in the quiet of your room, and, when he got under the covers with you but kept his distance, made you wrap your arms around him and cling onto his shirt as if he would disappear.

You slept like a baby that night, but Jay barely got a wink of sleep, the sound of his own heart beating uncontrollably keeping him awake.

—

You woke up that Sunday morning with a ringing headache, an upset stomach and a thirst you knew you wouldn’t be able to quench no matter how much water you drank. Your bed was empty, and the only thing that reminded you Jay sleeping overnight wasn’t a fever dream was his scent lingering on your pillow. The pang in your heart at his absence was hard to ignore - you were definitely curious about what it’d be like to wake up in Jay’s arms.

The busy chatter coming from the kitchen forced you out of your bed, although you would’ve rather stayed there all day. As soon as you opened your bedroom door, the smell of pancakes and sizzling bacon attacked your nose, and you hurried downstairs.

The sight of Jay cooking breakfast for you and your mother alone was enough to cure your hangover. You sneakily watched from the staircase as he expertly flipped pancakes and cooked eggs at the same time, all while holding a conversation with your mom. You walked into the kitchen and poured yourself a cup of coffee before taking a seat next to your mom, trying to but failing to suppress a smile. “I didn’t know you were also a housewife, Jongseong,” you said, voice still groggy with sleep.

“I thought it was the least I could do after making you attend such an awful event,” he answered, and you had the suspicion he was only being nice because your mom was there, even though she knew you two weren’t actually dating.

He kept that energy all throughout breakfast, making your mom laugh, and you watched him play his charm on her, glad you didn’t need to participate in the conversation. Any mom would be lucky to have him as a step-son, you caught yourself thinking.

Your mother hugged him when he left, and turned to you with a smile as soon as she’d closed the door. “Y/N, there’s no way in hell you don’t wanna date that boy. Hell, if he wasn’t half my age, I probably would.”

You took a cold water bottle from the fridge and said, “We’re not talking about this,” then headed up the stairs to your room. You ignored her calling after you and laid down in bed. Last night had given you a lot to think about.

—

You never got as drunk as that night again, not wanting to repeat that situation. Your relationship with Jay had already changed so much in so little time, but now, there was a lingering tension that always kept you on edge, and it wasn’t due to the constant arguing. It was due to the way you couldn’t get his scent on your sheets out of your head and the way he couldn’t forget how you had held onto him that night. You two had always said whatever was on your mind to each other, especially if it was something that would annoy the other, but now unspoken words constantly lingered between the two of you.

Your friends saw right through you; even though you tried to play it cool, it was painfully obvious that Jay was much more than just competition to you now. You hadn’t told them about the time he’d slept over and made you breakfast, knowing you’d never hear the end of it; but they didn’t need to know about that to see something had changed. It was clear in the way you talked about him, which had gone from irritated to excited, or how you never mentioned Heeseung anymore. One time, you’d even said “dating Jay” instead of “fake-dating,” and Sunoo had immediately picked up on it.

“That-that’s what I meant!” you’d exclaimed defensively, but they’d all looked at you with teasing smiles.

Jay hadn’t been very discreet when he’d given you bags of designer clothes all over campus, like in the cafeteria, in a random hallway, or in a lecture hall, and given his immense popularity (you know, being handsome and rich and all that), a few rumors about you two dating were being spread around. But they hadn’t really blown up, since the both of you always denied them whenever someone asked you if they were true, because you didn’t need to keep the pretense at uni.

The pretense - because that’s all it was, of course. Play pretend. Fake dating, keyword fake. But everything with Jay felt too real - the laughter in his car on the way to and fro the events, the smiles you exchanged from across the room, his hand brushing against yours when you sit next to each other during lectures. It wasn’t enough to have his arm around your waist once or twice a week, and it drove you crazy that you had him in bed right next to you but that you’d let him go. You needed to have him close, and for it to be real.

It was a sunny March afternoon when you realized this. Your week was surprisingly unbusy - along with the preparation for your lectures and tutorials, you only had two small online quizzes to complete, and all your bigger deadlines were so far away that even you didn’t see the point in starting on them already. So, armed with your favorite book and plenty of snacks, you’d decided to head to the park next to campus and spend a relaxing afternoon in the sun. It went as planned for about an hour, when an all too familiar voice called out your name - a voice that used to make you sigh in annoyance and roll your eyes automatically, but that now made your heart skip a beat in nervousness, you realized with some alarm.

“Hey! What are you doing here?” He sat down next to you on your picnic blanket, beaming at you like you were his good old friend he’d just run into. He had a professional-looking camera with him, something you’d never seen him carry around. You were so taken aback by his excitement at seeing you that no words formed in your mind, and you just raised your book and waved it stupidly.

Jay chuckled when he saw what you were reading. “Twilight, of course. And that’s the last one, isn’t it?” He shook his head in mock-disappointment at you. “I can’t believe you would put yourself through the torture of reading four of those books, Y/N.”

You just mumbled something about them being fun to read, turning your gaze back to the cover of the book you were holding. What the hell was wrong with you?! Usually, you’d be quick to shoot an answer back at Jay, either defending yourself or attacking him on one of his own weird preferences (you’ll never forget the day they had corn at the cafeteria and Jay had scarfed down at least five cobs in one sitting). But right now, Jay’s presence next to you turned your insides to liquid and rendered you unable to think properly. You hated it.

But then you noticed something on the book cover - “Jay, how do you know this is the last one?” From the corner of your eye, you saw Jay’s head snap up while you turned the book in your hands. “There’s no number on it.”

“O-oh,” he started, and judging from the growing blush on his face, you knew you’d caught him. This brought some of your usual confidence back to you. “Isn’t it common knowledge that Breaking Dawn is the last book in the series?”

You giggled at that. “Absolutely not.” His guilty expression only made you want to press further, and you added, “That’s something you’d only know if you’d watched all the movies and made the effort to remember the separate titles.”

He looked away, letting out a small hum as he found sudden interest in his camera. You were still smiling at him in disbelief. “Jongseong, have you seen all five Twilight movies?”

He furrowed his eyebrows and kept avoiding your gaze. “Pffft. No.”

“Jongseong.”

At the sound of his name, he abruptly turned his head in your direction, and his glare only made you smile even more. “You’ve actually seen all five movies, I can’t believe this,” you said, almost laughing. Jay’s eyes softened slightly, just enough for you to notice. He turned his attention back to his camera, but he was smiling down at it as he spoke this time.

“It’s just that you’ve mentioned them so often, I thought I should check at least the first one out. Turns out they’re pretty addictive,” he admitted sheepishly.

“So you watched them for me?” you asked, and your voice was more admirative than you’d had intended it to be - you wanted to tease him, not let him know that what he’d just said actually touched you.

“I watched them for… research purposes,” he conceded. Your eyes met. Your cheeks were starting to hurt from all the intense smiling this conversation was bringing you, but you couldn’t help it. This time, you were the one to look away.

“Research purposes, of course.” A short silence ensued, the sort of silence you should’ve been used to with Jay by now but that always made you feel giddy - the sort that’s awkward in a lighthearted way, the sort where you’re repeating all the words that have just been said in your head and committing them to memory. The sort where you hope the other is feeling all the things you’re feeling.

You broke it first. “What about you, what are you doing here?”

Jay raised his head, looking like he’d just remembered he had come here for another purpose than just talking to you. “Right. I have a project for this elective I’m taking, so I need to film some stuff and I thought it’d be nice to do it here,” he explained, shrugging.

“Sounds cool,” you said, and you hoped he knew you actually meant it. He looked at you again, and he seemed surprised. “Tell me more,” you added, and from the way his features lit up, you could tell you had said the right thing. You positioned yourself more comfortably on the blanket as you listened to him.

“Oh, well, our professor’s a bit of a romantic so the project is all about finding beauty in the small things, the happiness around us, love…”

Your gazes locked the moment he said that word, but it only lasted a second. Jay was quick to clear his throat and go back to his explanation, but it took you a few more seconds until you could focus on his words again. When you snapped out of it, he was showing you some films he’d already taken. They were all very short, just three or four seconds long, but a peacefulness emitted from each of them. An encouraging message scribbled into a lecture hall table, a cat laying on a windowsill, enjoying the sun, an old couple walking slowly hand-in-hand, teenage girls celebrating a birthday at an ice cream parlor, the metro passing quickly through the frame as the sunset paints the sky orange in the background. All beautiful moments that make up life, but that you never take the time to fully appreciate.

“This… this is beautiful, Jay,” you breathe, mesmerized by what he’d manage to capture.

“Yeah? Not too cheesy?” he asked, a small smile on his lips.

“Not at all. I think your professor will love this, you completely grasped the subject.”

He let out a shaky breath of relief, his smile getting wider. “Nice,” he said under his breath. Then he suddenly turned his head to look at you, an intensity in his gaze you hadn’t expected. “Would you mind if I took a video of you? Add you to the film?”

“W-what, like here? Right now?”

“Yeah,” Jay said, and when he smiled at you like that, who were you to say no?

“Okay, sure.” You tried to shrug, play it cool, but something about Jay looking at you through his lens and adding a video of you to all those beautiful ones he’d just shown you made your heartbeat speed dangerously.

“Great,” he beamed. “Just read your book. Pretend I’m not here,” he instructed. As if you could be anything less than hyper-aware of his presence, you thought.

Thankfully, the video was shot in just a few minutes as Jay searched for the best angle to take it from. Before you knew it, he was already back next to you, mirroring your position on the blanket as he laid on his stomach. You tried to ignore how his shoulder brushed against yours as he leaned on his forearms, showing you the video. You had to admit, it looked really nice - from this angle, the sun shone down on you perfectly, and you could see the wind blowing through the tree leaves in the background. It fit perfectly with the other videos.

“Beautiful,” Jay whispered, looking at the film with nothing but fondness in his eyes.

You didn’t linger on his words too long, just took the chance to tease him: “Are you complimenting me or your videography skills?”

The look in his eyes didn’t change as he turned his head and gazed down at you. “You, of course.”

A smirk tugged the corners of his lips up as he took in your flustered expression, your incoherent mumbles. “Whatever,” you mumbled when you regained the ability to speak.

Another comfortable silence settled between the two of you as Jay busied himself with his camera while you read the same paragraph over and over, unable to concentrate on the words. You desperately wanted to say something, but had no idea what, so you were grateful when Jay broke the silence.

“Just need to edit this all together on my laptop, and then I’m all done. Thanks for your help, Y/N.”

“I didn’t do anything, though,” you said with a small smile. His compliment from earlier was still ringing in your ears.

“But you did. I think that shot of you will end the film perfectly.”

Sure, Jay had gotten nicer and nicer to you as time passed - but today, he was really laying it on thick. He was making it hard to breathe properly. All you could do to save yourself was change the subject.

“So, this is for the Visual Studies part of your degree, right?”

For the second time today, Jay’s expression went from surprise to delight - you remembered, he thought. “It is, yeah,” he replied, with a wide grin he couldn’t control. He seemed to hesitate for a bit, as if deliberating whether he should say whatever it was he wanted to say or not. You were happy to see he opted for telling you. “If it was up to me, it’s the only thing I’d have done.”

You studied him for a bit. With just this simple sentence, you realized Jay’s life wasn’t as simple as you’d always imagined it to be. “But it’s not up to you, I’m guessing.”

He smiled sadly, and you had to resist the urge to take him in your arms. All these things you had been feeling for him, they weren’t supposed to be there, and you were getting really tired of fighting them back.

“It isn’t, no.” He turned over to lay on his back, and you imitated him, so that you were now both staring up at the sky. He sighed before speaking again. “My father isn’t a particularly conservative man, but he does like tradition. He wants to keep the company in the family, and as his only child, I’m the one the responsibility falls upon. He’s never even asked me if this was what I wanted to do, just assumed I’d be happy with it.”

In your three years of knowing Jay, you’d thought how unfair it was that he wouldn’t have to go through the hoops of job applications and job interviews. He already had a top position waiting for him as soon as he got out of college. But now you realized that he was completely trapped in the position - all of the decisions you’d taken academics- and career-wise had been your own, while Jay’s had been chosen for him in advance.

“I picked up photography as a hobby to get away from it all and ended up really falling in love with it. I have control over my camera even if I have zero control over anything else in my life,” he explained with a defeated chuckle.

You let your head fall to the side and looked at him. “I had no idea about any of this.”

Jay met your eyes and smiled. The sun was right behind you, so he had to shield his eyes from it to look at you. “Of course not. I never mentioned it.”

“I feel like I should’ve known, for some reason.”

His smile got wider. You looked away. “Why?”

“Just ‘cause. Maybe I would’ve gone easier on you if I knew you were also struggling.”

“I wouldn’t have let you.” He bumped your shoulder with his, making you let out a chuckle.

A beat passed before you spoke again. “Guess we both have a lot of pressure on our shoulders, huh? Even if they’re different kinds.”

“Guess we do.”

“Then we’re more similar than I’d thought,” you said, and looked at him again.

“Guess we are.”

A smile bloomed on your lips, and Jay’s eyes drifted down to it. That simple action made you panic, and you suddenly sat up. He didn’t have time to ask if everything’s alright, you were already throwing your stuff back in your bag and mumbling something about the time and having to go. You stood, and turned to Jay before scurrying off. “I’ll see you around.”

Jay chuckled, slightly confused, but let you go. It wasn’t until he left himself that he’d realized you’d left without your picnic blanket.

—

After that afternoon, you tried to pretend nothing happened, and that you hadn’t run away just because of Jay glancing down at your lips. You were already getting worked up over things you shouldn’t even be thinking about when it came to him - you didn’t need to have Jay kissing you on your mind.

Thankfully, Jay didn’t bother you about it, and you got back into your routine of arguing by class and pretending to be a couple by night. Everything was fine.

That is, until Mr Park happened.

You had waited all week, hell, all month for this: Jay’s dad was about to give a special talk for the School of Business on how to get a company started and efficiently run it, but most importantly, he would announce how to apply for a summer internship at his firm. You’d made sure to get there early so you could get a good seat. He noticed you when you walked in the amphitheater, and motioned to you to come see him.

“Y/N! Lovely to see you, thanks for coming,” he greeted, beaming down at you. It always surprised you just how similar his smile was to his son’s.

“Of course, Mr Park! I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“Come and see me after the talk, yeah? There’s something I want to tell you.”

God, what was it with Park father and son to announce things like that? Why not just say it straight away? You kept those thoughts to yourself and nodded, then sat down at a seat in the front.

You listened intently the whole time and took down rigorous notes. When it was over, you had to wait another twenty minutes as people asked him questions, until he finally announced that was all he had time for today. You headed down towards the stage, and complimented him on his talk. Most people in the room had started trickling out, but there were still a few students waiting at the doors, hoping to catch him before he left.

“Oh, thank you, thank you,” he said with a chuckle, before taking a deep breath. “I realize now what I said earlier might have made you nervous, but don’t worry, you’re not in trouble.”

You released a breath you didn’t know you were holding. Good. “I just wanted to thank you for being such a good girlfriend to Jay. I’ve always been proud of him, but I know he has a lot on his shoulders, so it’s nice to see that he has someone like you to rely on.”

You smiled at Mr Park, saying it was nothing, but you felt guilty. He truly believed in you and Jay, when the two of you were only pretending. Even though it didn’t always feel that way anymore.

“Oh, and for the internship, I’m sure you’ll understand that it wouldn’t look too good if I gave it to you. But don’t worry, I’ll put in a good word for you wherever you decide to apply.”

A second passed. Then another, and another, until your lack of answer was becoming weird, and you had to say something. “Oh. Right. Of course, I understand,” you replied, hoping the disappointment in your voice wasn’t too obvious. You exchanged a few more words until you said you needed to get back to studying.

As you turned around to exit the room, you noticed everybody who had been waiting for Mr Park was staring right at you, wide-eyed. You tried to ignore them and get to the doors, but a girl stopped you. “So the rumors are true, you really are dating Jay?”

You’d never seen her in your life and were a bit shocked that a stranger could demand information about your love life, but you nonetheless shook your head and started to say, “What? No.”

“Why are you lying? We just heard everything,” said another voice.

“Yeah, it doesn’t matter anyway, just don’t lie.”

You turned your gaze away from the students to look behind you at Mr Park. Or more precisely, at the lecturer mic wrapped around his waist. From where you were, you could make out a tiny red light on the mic, signaling it was still on.

Crap.

—

As soon as you were outside, you called Jay. He picked up after a few rings, groaning, “What? I’m at the library.” Ah, there was the Jay you knew.

“I’ll be here in two, come outside.”

“But-”

“Right now,” you said sharply and hung up.

Jay had wanted to scold you for disturbing him like that, but as soon as he saw you, eyebrows furrowed and biting your lip nervously, worry overcame him. “Hey. You okay?” he asked gently, placing his hands on your forearms.

“Yeah. I’m fine, but, um, everybody knows. »

He looked at you questioningly, and when you wouldn’t explain further, he asked, “Knows what?”

“You. Me. That we’re dating. Well, they think we’re dating.”

“What? How do they know?”

“Your dad. We talked after his presentation, and he thanked me for being a good girlfriend, except his mic was on. So everybody heard. And you know how gossip travels here, so everybody’ll know by tonight,” you said, sighing in exasperation.

Jay thought for a while. “Well, who cares if they know? We don’t have to change the way we act with each other. That’d be more suspicious, if anything. We’ll just have to not deny it when people ask if we’re dating.”

Your frustration got the best of you and you scoffed, giving Jay a harsher look than you wanted to. His hands left your forearms. “How far is this gonna go, Jay?! How much longer do we have to-” You realized how loud your voice was, and switched to whisper-shouting instead of just shouting. “To pretend? I can let you parade me around those CEOs and whatnot, but I don’t wanna have to keep the charade up on campus, too.”

Jay’s law locked. He looked like you’d just punched him. But he didn’t say anything, so you dropped it. “Anyway, that’s not even the bad part. Your dad told me I wouldn’t get the internship. And it’s fine, I guess I can get one somewhere else. But I wasn’t expecting it, and I was really looking forward to working at your dad’s firm.”

Again, he was silent for a small while, until he muttered, “Right.”

You looked up at him, and he was avoiding your gaze. Why wasn’t he surprised, or angry? Why wasn’t he reacting?

“Did… did you know?” you asked, unable to keep your voice from shaking.

Nothing.

“Jay. Did you know?” you repeated, tone harsher, more impatient.

“Um. Yeah, I knew,” he mumbled. He still wouldn’t look you in the eye.

You shut your eyes for a few seconds, trying to grasp the situation. “Wh- you knew? And you didn’t say anything?”

“Sorry,” he said, eyes trained on his shoes.

“Sorry? That’s it?” You shook your head in disbelief. You almost wanted to laugh. “How long have you known?”

“Since the beginning, really. My dad’s not the type to do favors, and he wants to keep up that image. So if you’re my girlfriend, he wouldn’t give you the internship.”

You couldn’t say anything. Not getting the internship was one thing. You could get over it. But Jay knowing from the start and keeping it from you, that was what really hurt you. You could feel tears forming in your eyes, but you walked away before Jay could see just how much he’d upset you.

“Y/N!” he called after you. He grabbed your wrist, making you stop in your tracks and turn around. The sight of you, teary eyes and staring at him with fury in your eyes, and knowing he was the reason behind it, made him indescribably angry at himself.

“Whatever it is you have to say, I don’t wanna hear it, Jongseong.” He tightened his grip on your wrist before you could snatch it away from him.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I didn’t know you wanted that internship. If I did-”

“If you did? Then what? You wouldn’t have asked me to be your pretend girlfriend? You would’ve let me have a chance at the internship?” You shook your head. “Of course not. So save it.”

You managed to get out of his grip and continued walking away, ignoring him as he called out your name again. When you were a few meters away, you turned around and said, venom only in your voice, “I hope you realize how selfish you are, Jay.”

That’s when his heart broke.

—

Jay had been right when he said people wouldn’t care about the two of you ‘dating.’ However, the people who did care, your friends, were more confused than anything: you had gone from bickering non stop, to denying couple rumors, to not talking to each other. It’d been a week since your argument with Jay, and you still didn’t want to hear him out. You didn’t want to have anything to do with him: you straight-up ignored him every time he tried to get you to talk to him, had blocked his number and shut down your friends and mom whenever they mentioned him.

You missed him; you missed his stupid arguments, and his stupid jokes, and his stupid face, and how it had started to feel like he genuinely cared for you. Or at least, that’s what he’d made you think. And he’d made you think it so well, that you thought you might have been starting to genuinely care for him as well. Which only made his betrayal a hundred times worse.

You’d decided to drown your sorrows in textbooks, and spent most of your time at the library. On Thursday, you were searching for the week’s essential reading in the Econ section, and as you took out the book in question, you saw a pair of eyes staring right at you. You tried not to shriek but you felt like your soul had left your body. You’d barely had time to gather your spirits when the culprit had come round to your side of the bookshelf, and of course, it was none other than Lee Heeseung. God, you thought, could that boy get any weirder?

“Trouble in paradise, or so I’ve heard?” he asked in lieu of a normal greeting. Whatever happened to hello?

“That’s none of your business, Heeseung,” you replied curtly, opening the book.

He tried not to be taken too aback by your attitude. He was used to stammering and blushing Y/N, not you-better-not-give-me-any-shit Y/N. He wouldn’t say he disliked the change.

“I’m not sure why you thought dating a guy like Jay was a good idea in the first place, anyway. You could do a lot better, you know,” he said, and you couldn’t help but chuckle at the irony of it all. When you didn’t answer, he went on. “You know, we’ve missed you at the frat parties. I know you’ve been going to all those boring company events, but don’t you think it’d be more fun to let loose with us? Tomorrow night?”

This made you look up at him. He had that gaze again, the one you’d seen all those times, and you remembered why you’d liked him for so long. Something about his eyes, about the way he was waiting for you to say yes, made you reply, “I’ll think about it.” You returned his smile and headed back to your seat. You did think going to his party would be fun, and you definitely needed some of that right now.

Plus, you had the perfect dress for the occasion.

—

So here you were, standing in front of the frat house’s door, Sieun, Sunoo and Keeho at your sides, in the tight black dress Jay had given you but you hadn’t chosen for that one event. They were all used to this kind of party, but you’d only been a few times, and although they’d all hyped you up for it, you suddenly felt yourself deflate.

“Guys, what if I just embarrass myself like last time? I don’t think I could live with that-”

“Nope! We’re not having this conversation again!” Sieun exclaimed, already pushing you inside. “You look hot as fuck, and tonight you’re gonna have so much fun and forget all about Jay.”

Keeho and Sunoo gave her a stern look. “Sorry,” she quickly apologized, but you barely heard her over the bass of the booming music. It was 11 p.m. and the party was well into motion. People were drunkenly dancing on the designated dance floor, and you tried to not conjure up memories of that last party. There were people everywhere you looked: on the staircase, in the backyard, in the kitchen.

Your friends and you headed first to the mini-bar and shot down some vodka for liquid courage. As you started chatting, trying to see who was there, Heeseung approached you.

“Y/N! You came! And you look really good,” he said, taking in your figure. He pulled you into a hug which you returned warmly. The vodka was already having its effects on you, apparently.

“Can I get you guys a drink?” he asked you and Sieun. Keeho and Sunoo had already disappeared to the dance floor.

“Sure,” you said, smiling up at Heeseung.

Sieun looked between the two of you, and said, “Actually, I’ll join the others. Come dance with us soon, Y/N!” And like that, she was gone, giving you no time to protest. She thought she was being slick, that one.

You and Heeseung chuckled. He got you a red cup and you watched him as he expertly poured different juices and liquors in it. “So, what made you decide to come?” he asked, handing you your drink. You took a sip of it and nodded approvingly.

“I just needed a good party. To let loose, like you said. Plus, who am I to deny an invitation from the great Lee Heeseung?”

Neither of you was sure where all the confidence was coming from. As soon as you’d said that, you looked down at your cup and smiled shyly. Heeseung looked at you curiously, but he couldn’t help but grin as well. You chatted a bit more, drinking one, two, three cups of the heavenly concoction Heeseung made for you.

“Wanna dance?” he suddenly offered, extending his hand. Right at that moment, you saw Jay enter the house with Jake and Sunghoon. You saw him look around the room until his eyes zeroed in on you and the boy in front of you. Perfect, you thought. You smiled at Heeseung and took his hand, letting him lead you to the dance floor.

Somebody had dimmed down the lights and Lost in the Fire by The Weeknd was playing loudly, creating a sensual atmosphere in the whole room. Your body started swaying to the music, and you were thankful for the alcohol in your system, ridding your mind of any negative or self-conscious thought; you were just enjoying yourself, exactly like you’d wanted to do tonight.

You were getting lost in the music, when a pair of hands on the sides of your waist brought you back to reality. Heeseung got so close to you, you could feel his lips on your ear as they moved to whisper, “Having fun, princess?”

You nodded fervently, leaning your head back on his shoulder, closing whatever gap there was between your two bodies. His hands traveled from your waist to your hips and you could feel his broad chest against your back as you two moved to the rhythm of the music. From where you were, you had a view of the living room. Jay was sitting there, a girl sitting so close she might as well have been on his lap, but he was staring right at you. You knew never hooked up with random girls at parties, so he had to be doing this to get a reaction out of you. You hated that it worked, that it only made the fire in you burn harder - so as a response, you started grinding your ass against Heeseung.

When the girl actually sat on Jay’s lap, you couldn’t look anymore, so you turned around and put your arms around Heeseung’s neck and faced him. His eyes had glossed over and he was looking at you with a hunger you’d never seen before. Well, that wasn’t true - you’d seen him look at other girls that way, and you always knew what happened after that, but you chased the thought out of your mind, forgetting all about that promise you’d made to yourself of never becoming another one of his drunk fucks. Now that his attention was on you and you only, you felt yourself wanting more. His hands traveled further down your body as he grabbed at your ass, bringing your hips closer to his. He bent down to press wet kisses up your neck until he reached your ear.

“Wanna take this upstairs?” he asked. It sent shivers down your spine, but you couldn’t tell whether they were good shivers or not. You willed away your hesitation, smiling at him as he took your hand once again, this time leading you to what you assumed was his bedroom. As you walked up the stairs, you scanned the room and sure enough, found Jay sitting on a couch, staring right at you. You thought the beer can in his hand might explode, he was holding it so tight. Feeling you slow down, Heeseung tugged at your hand, and you detached your gaze from Jay’s, trying to drown out the feeling of guilt that was creeping up inside you.

As soon as he’d closed the door behind you, Heeseung wasted no time in pressing you up against the wall and kissing you hungrily. You hadn’t been kissed many times before, and surely not with such energy, but you were sure it was supposed to feel better. Heeseung was in no measure a bad kisser, he seemed to have the technique down to a T and kept a perfect rhythm. But you felt no fireworks, no butterflies, no light-headedness you’d always hoped would come with a good kiss. There was just no passion to it.

After a few minutes of making out, when you were starting to hope he’d get on with it, he said, breath irregular, “What would Jay say if he saw this, huh? Probably hates the idea of me kissing his precious girlfriend, don’t you think?”

The mention of Jay hit you like a ton of bricks. “Wh-what?” you stammered, not letting Heeseung kiss you when he leaned in again.

“Jay? Your boyfriend?” he repeated, looking at you bemusedly.

You chuckled once. Then twice. Then you just started laughing. “Oh, Jay? We’re not actually dating,” you revealed, your filter completely gone because of all the alcohol.

“What?” Heeseung took a sudden step back from you. His confused gaze had turned cold.

“We’re not dating, I said. It’s all fake, it was to make his parents happy,” you explained, yourself confused by Heeseung’s sudden attitude change.

It was his turn to laugh. “Wow. That’s impressive. You managed to fool me.” His smile dropped. “Now get the fuck out.”

“Excuse me?” you said, crossing your arms over your chest. Who the hell did this guy think he was?

“You heard me. Get the fuck out. There’s no point in fucking you if you’re not Jay’s girlfriend. You’re just a random loser.”

You stared at him for a few seconds, until you started laughing. It only seemed to make him angry. “What the fuck are you laughing about? I told you to get out.”

You sighed amusedly as if Heeseung was just joking around. “I just think it’s funny that you won’t fuck me because I’m not actually Jay’s girlfriend, when that’s not stopped you from getting with a different girl every single weekend. Whore,” you said, adding that last part in a whisper. You didn’t actually care that Heeseung slept around, not anymore, at least, but you wanted to get a reaction from him after the way he’d treated you.

But perhaps you went too far, because Heeseung’s eyes turned even angrier, and he pushed one of your shoulders harshly, making you almost hit the wall. “I’ll tell you one last time. Get out, you pathetic little bitch.”

Just at that moment, the door burst open, revealing a very angry Jay.

“What the fuck did you just call her?” he growled, heading straight for Heeseung and grabbing him by the collar. The other boy didn’t seem fazed, a smile back on his face, as if this whole situation was funny.

“Aw, Jongseong is mad I’m not being nice to his little fake girlfriend?” You guessed Jay must’ve looked confused, because Heeseung continued, “Yeah, she told me. To be fair, I should’ve known even you wouldn’t date a fucking beggar like her.”

You weren’t quick enough to stop Jay from bringing his fist up to Heeseung’s nose. You swore you heard something crack. But as soon as you saw him get ready for another punch, you ran to him and held his arm, shouting, “He’s not worth it, Jay!” and God, you almost wanted him to punch you because of how cliché that had sounded, but you truly thought Heeseung wasn’t worth losing any energy over.

Your voice seemed to make Jay snap out of his fury, and he looked at you, worry written all over his face. However, that only lasted a second, as his expression then shifted to something you’d never seen on his face before, and he grabbed your wrist, leading you out of the room. The commotion had gathered some attention, and you left the house under a bunch of people’s curious looks and chatter.

What was it with men grabbing you and leading you wherever tonight? You were tired of it, so as soon as you’d reached the front yard, you got your wrist out of his grasp, and demanded to know where he thought he was taking you. He grabbed your wrist again, and said, “To my place. We need to talk.”

The tone in his voice told you it was better not to test him, so you got in his car. Jay was always a safe driver, but this time, he sped through the whole city, even burning some red lights, reaching his apartment on the other side of town in a matter of minutes. You quickly texted your friends your whereabouts so they wouldn’t have to worry. The whole car ride had been silent but you could feel him fuming next to you, and you had no idea what to expect when you entered his apartment.

His place was exactly like you’d imagined it: modern, spacious, and way more organized that any other university student’s flat would be, but also had a lot of personal touches. It was very Jay, and if it hadn’t been for the tension between the two of you, you’d have immediately felt at ease there.

Jay walked through the dark apartment to the kitchen, where he turned on a single light. You followed him, unsure what else to do. He leaned against his hands on the island counter, head hung low, and you went to stand on the other side of the counter, waiting for his next move. When his head snapped up and he peered straight at you, you could barely decipher the look in his eyes, but thought it contained a mixture of jealousy, anger, and… hunger. He’d never looked at you that way before, and his gaze itself created a ball in the pit of your stomach. You told yourself it really wasn’t the moment, but you couldn’t help but feel desperately attracted to him.

“What the fuck were you doing with Heeseung?” he asked, finally breaking the silence.

You scoffed. “What the fuck were you doing with that random girl?”

“I wanted to make you jealous.” He hadn’t hesitated a second before answering, and his confidence destabilized you. You’d guessed that had been his plan, but hearing him say it made you feel weirdly shy. “Now answer me. What the fuck were you doing with Heeseung?”

You couldn’t hold eye contact anymore, so you looked down at the counter, and replied, “I um, I was drunk, and I… I wanted to make you jealous too, I guess.” You looked back up at him, wanting to gauge his reaction. He was now wearing a smug look, like he’d won something over you. He slowly walked over to your side of the counter, and when he reached you, he put his hands on the counter on each side of you, making you lean back against it. You gulped at the way he towered over you

“And why did you want to make me jealous?” He was so close to you now that when he uttered those words, voice barely over a whisper, you felt his breath fan over your face. As much as you tried to keep eye contact, your gaze fell down to his lips, and you saw him smirk. He caught your chin between his index finger and thumb, nudging your head up. “Eyes up here, doll.”

Your eyes met his again. He was looking at you so intently, you thought your knees might buckle under you. He cocked an eyebrow, patiently waiting for your reply. “Because I…”

It was so obvious, but you hadn’t been able to bring yourself to say it, or even let yourself think it, before. But it needed to be put out there, once and for all. There was no point in fighting it anymore. “Because I like you, Jongseong.”

To your surprise, his smirk turned into a cheeky grin. It made some of the tension dissipate, but not enough for you to breathe properly again. “I like you too, Y/N.” You sighed out of relief at his words and mirrored his smile.

“Can I kiss you?” he said, the thumb that had been holding your chin caressing your bottom lip.

“I thought you’d never ask,” you breathed, and he leaned in, your lips meeting delicately. It stayed that way for a few minutes, until the pent-up feelings that had been threatening to come out finally did, and hunger and passion took over the kiss. Jay was kissing you like a man starved, and all you could do was return everything he was giving you. This was nothing like you’d imagined it; it was infinitely better. Talk about fireworks, or butterflies, or light-headedness, you felt like you were on another plane of existence, like a kiss that felt this good and was this freeing wasn’t humanly possible.

Your hands slipped under his shirt and the sudden contact of your cold hands against his warm skin made him shiver. You were glad to see you had as much effect on him as he had on you. Never breaking the kiss, he led you to his bedroom and sat down on his bed, gesturing for you to straddle his lap. Your dress rode up your calves a little bit, and he used this opportunity to pull it further up until it bundled up around your hips, leaving your lower half almost naked. You could feel how hard he was getting underneath your clothed core, and as the kiss grew needier, you started grinding against him, getting the both of you off. When you heard him groan against your lips, something snapped in you, and you wanted to hear that sound over and over, so you doubled down on your actions.

His hands, which had been resting on your ass, came up to the nape of your neck, and he grabbed you by the hair, exposing your neck to him. He started pressing down eager kisses along your jawline, throat, and collarbones. When he found a spot in the crook of your neck you particularly liked, he started attacking it like crazy, sucking at the skin and turning you into a moaning mess. One of his hands came to cup your breast and he was very glad to find you were not wearing a bra. Your nipple had hardened through the fabric, and he started playing with it. That, as well the feeling of him in your neck and against your core, was overwhelming, and you felt like you were about to pass out because of how good it all felt. You didn’t know what to do with your hands so you alternated between running them over his arms and tugging at his hair.

As your lips met again, teeth almost clashing because of the intensity, you started unbuttoning his shirt. When it was off, you couldn’t not stare at him. You’d had an idea already, but you still couldn’t believe how toned his arms, chest and abs were. You thought to yourself, God, he’s so hot, and hadn’t realized you’d actually said it out loud until he jokingly said, “Yeah?”, looking up at you with the biggest smile. His hands ran over your calves, your thighs and your ass, sending shivers along the way, and he said, “You’re not too bad yourself, doll.” He kissed you with much more gentleness than before. “In fact, you’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever laid eyes on.”

You kissed him so he wouldn’t see the blush spreading on your face. He put his hand on your lower back, and guided you down on the bed until you were laying on your back, him hovering over you. He pulled your dress all the way up, helping you get rid of it. You were now left in only panties in front of him, and you would’ve imagined that to be intimidating, but his gaze was truly making you feel like a goddess. Nonetheless, you didn’t want to be the only one naked, so you tucked your fingers under his trousers’ waistband, gesturing for him to take them off. He chuckled but immediately obliged, getting rid of them in a matter of seconds. You had an even better view of his now fully-hard cock, and its size made you gulp. Your mind was quickly off of that, though, as he started trailing kisses all the way down to your breasts, taking one of your nipples in his mouth as his hand came up to the other. Your back arched at the sensation, and you only wanted more, more, more. Your fingers tugged at his hair and you breathed out his name between moans.

After a few minutes, he traveled further down your body, until he was face to face with your dripping core. He hooked his fingers under your panties, looking up at you and asking you if this was okay. You nodded impatiently and he chuckled at your reaction. How could you be so cute even in this moment? He took your panties off excruciatingly slowly. You wanted to take your time, but you also wanted him where you needed him the most.

You did feel a bit shy when he stared at your sex with the utmost wonder, musing to himself, “So pretty.” He slid a finger between your folds, making you moan in relief and pleasure, and added, “So wet, too.”

You had lifted your body onto your forearms so you could take a good look at him. He peered up at you and, with a small smile, asked gently, “Tell me if it feels good, okay?”

“Okay,” you replied, nodding fervently.

Without wasting another second, he licked a stripe up your core, making you moan again, louder this time. He took that as confirmation to go on and continued exploring your pussy with his tongue. You practically screamed out in pleasure when he found your clit, and by the time he started sucking on it, your thighs were shaking like crazy. You didn’t have any strength left in your body and your forearms gave out under you, so you just lied down on your back, fingers still tangled in and pulling his hair. You hadn’t been able to actually tell him it felt good, but you were sure he understood that much.

One of his fingers, and then a second, entered you, filling you up. “Shit, doll, you’re so tight. How are you gonna handle my cock?”

He curled his fingers inside you and they hit a certain spot that made you see stars, and you were coming all over his fingers and tongue in a matter of seconds, screaming out his name and a string of blasphemies. You had to physically lift his head from your core, telling him it was too much, otherwise he would’ve kept going. He gave you a sheepish smile and you couldn’t believe the boy grinning at you was the same one who’d just said and done all those lewd things to you. He pressed a small kiss on your inner thigh, then lay down next to you on the bed, taking in your flushed cheeks and blown-over eyes. He couldn’t believe he got to have you like this, in your most vulnerable state, all to himself.

When you’d calmed down from your high, you managed to say, “That was amazing, Jay.”

He let out a soft chuckle and kissed your forehead, then trapped your lips with his own. You could taste yourself on his tongue, but you didn’t mind. After a few minutes of lazily making out, you threw your leg over his to position yourself over his hips, and started pressing feather-like kisses down his neck. He’d made you feel so good, and you intended to return the favor.

You felt him sigh at your touch, but before you could go too far down, he stopped you by bringing his hands to both sides of your face, making you look up at him.

“Did I do something wrong?” you immediately asked, worry laced in your voice.

“No, no. God, no, you’re perfect.” he replied. “I just… I still feel so guilty for what I did, and I feel like I don’t deserve you right now.”

“Jay…”

He hid his face in the crook of your neck and held your waist tightly. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. You’re right, I was being selfish. I should’ve known you wanted that internship, and I knew you wouldn’t get it if my dad thought we were dating, but… I’ve wanted to be with you for such a long time, and when I had the chance to have you, even if it was just pretend, even if it meant lying to you, I couldn’t bring myself to not take that chance. I’m so sorry.”

You had completely forgotten the events of that week, and of that night. Your argument with Jay and Heeseung’s words seemed light-years away. “How long have you liked me?” you couldn’t help but ask. You should’ve been surprised by Jay’s confession, but for some reason, it made sense - what didn’t make sense was how you hadn’t noticed it, or how you’d thought it wasn’t possible that you might like him, too.

“Since we met,” he admitted shyly. “I would’ve told you, but you seemed to enjoy arguing with me so much, I was scared you’d just make fun of me.”

Since you’d met… so, three years? And he’d never said anything? “To be honest, I probably would’ve made fun of you at first,” you agreed light-heartedly. “But I also think it would’ve made me realize what an amazing person you are earlier. I’m sorry it took me so long.”

“That’s okay. I would’ve waited my whole life if it meant I could have you at the end.” Butterflies erupted all over your stomach at his words. You kissed him like you’d stop breathing if you didn’t.

Now that Jay had gotten what he wanted to say off his chest, you’d hoped you could continue your previous actions, and started pressing kisses down his neck, but he soon stopped you again.

“I’m getting the feeling you don’t want me to go down on you,” you said, half-joking.

He grinned and closed his eyes, as if fighting himself back. “I do, I promise you, I do.” When he opened his eyes again, they were full of affection. “But we’ve got so much time for that later. I just want to feel you around me right now. Would that be okay?” he asked, voice soft.

Your core pulsed at the thought of Jay inside you, and you nodded, breath growing erratic again. Jay gently lay you on your back, and took off his black boxers so that the two of you were finally completely naked, revealing his throbbing cock. He was right, how were you going to handle it? He rummaged around in his bedside drawer for a condom, and put it on with nervous hands.

He lined his tip at your entrance, pressing soft kisses all over your face and neck before pushing in as if to get you to relax. He kissed you gently on the lips. “Tell me if it hurts, and I’ll stop right away.”

He waited for you to nod again, and finally entered you. It immediately stretched you out like never before. The sound of you taking a sharp breath in made Jay stop in his tracks. You wrapped your hands around his biceps for support, then, letting out a deep sigh, told him to go on. He pushed in inch by inch until he finally bottomed out. You both let out a hearty moan at the feeling. It was so perfect.

He didn’t move for a few minutes, letting you adjust to his size. You had your eyes closed and were focused on relaxing, until all at once the pain of the stretch turned into pleasure, and you breathed out, “Please, move.” He obeyed and started rocking in and out of you, making you feel each inch of his length inside you. The sensation was intoxicating. You couldn’t stop any of the moans escaping your throat, and Jay took that as a green light to go gradually faster. Your bodies were moving at the exact same pace and you thought the two of you molded together perfectly, as if this was what you had been meant to do your whole life. His fingers were tightly gripping your hips as he thrusted into you harder and harder, making you moan so loud you were practically screaming in pleasure.

“You feel so fucking good, Y/N,” he said, throwing his head back and letting out a deep moan himself. Your hands roamed all over his body, unable to stay in one place at a time. He suddenly changed the angle of his hips and started hitting that spot inside you he had found earlier with his fingers, making your mind go hay-wire.

“Fuck, right there, Jay!” you screamed out, as he brought your hips down to his faster than you thought was humanly possible. Soon, you were coming again, and the feeling of you clenching down around him made him shoot his release into the condom. He fell on top of you, unable to carry his weight on his arms anymore. He only had enough strength to pull out and discard the condom, before nestling his head between your breasts. Tiredness seeped through your bones, and you both fell asleep in seconds, completely naked and arms around each other.

Jay woke up a few hours later, a cramp in his arm because of how you were laying down on it - the two of you had apparently switched positions at some point during the night. He softly pulled his arm away, trying not to wake you up. He checked his phone; it was 4:29 a.m. He looked down at you, admiring how soft you looked when you were sleeping. He still couldn’t believe his luck, it all felt like a dream to him. But then you shifted slightly, letting out a small whimper, probably because of a dream, and Jay knew this was happening for sure. He hugged you tightly, breathing in the scent of your hair, and, knowing you were fast asleep, murmured, “I love you.”

—

The sunlight peeking through the curtains and hitting your face softly was what woke you up the next morning. You were relieved to feel Jay’s arms around your waist as he hugged you from behind. You gently turned around, curious about what he looked like in the morning.

As expected, he was perfect.

You observed him for a while until his eyes fluttered open. “Good morning, handsome,” you whispered, pushing away the hair that had fallen in front of his eyes.

“Good morning,” he replied, smiling sleepily. “Creep.”

Quietly, you gasped dramatically and said, “Is a girl a creep for looking at her boyfriend as he sleeps in the morning?”

He cocked an eyebrow. “Boyfriend, huh?” he teased.

You grinned at him. “Yeah.”

“Well,” he said, returning your grin and tightening his grip around your waist, “my girlfriend can look at me all she wants.”

You’d technically been dating Jay for over three months now, but knowing it was finally real and not just pretend made you giddy. You buried your face in the crook of his neck and kissed him there, trying to hide your shy smile.

He took your head and lifted it to place a delicate kiss on your lips, which you returned like it was second nature. When you pulled away, you jokingly said, “Mh. Morning breath,” but Jay’s eyes opened wide and he immediately put his hand over his mouth, asking, “Seriously?”

You laughed at him and pulled his hands down, going back in for a kiss. It soon escalated, and you were reminded of the fact that neither of you had clothes on when you could feel Jay’s hardness pressing against your thigh. He apologized shyly, but you told him it was fine, and that you’d take care of it.

This time, when you two made love, it was much slower and light-hearted than the previous night, as if the two of you had finally realized that you had all the time in the world and could enjoy every single second. It was the perfect thing to wake up to.

You two lazied in bed, alternating between slowly making out and daydreaming together, until his stomach rumbled loudly and you really needed to pee. When you joined him in the kitchen, he was heating up waffles on the stove. You hooked your arms around his waist, pressing your chest to his back, and he hummed softly.

“Jay?” you whispered, lips just millimeters away from his ear.

“Yes, doll?”

“I love you too.”

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#enhypen x reader #jay x reader #enhypen smut #jay smut #enhypen fluff #jay fluff #enhypen angst #jay angst #enhypen fanfiction #jay fanfiction #enhypen imagines #jay imagines #enhypen scenarios #jay scenarios

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makoodles · 2 years ago

Text

ミdaddy issues

part one | part two

🍓pairing: recom!miles quaritch x human fem reader

🍓tags: nsfw, interspecies relationship, temporarily one-sided attraction, second-hand embarrassment, vaginal sex, oral sex, (v brief) anal fingering, dirty talk (it's quaritch, come on)

🍓word count: 14k (there's literally nothing i could say to excuse this)

masterlist

Miles Quaritch is the kind of man whose reputation precedes him.

Everyone has heard of him. His ruthlessness and his skill are legendary, his authority absolute. The army guys talk about him like he’s the stuff of myth, the scientists talk about him like he’s the biggest bastard to ever walk the earth. Even before he had returned to life as a recombinant, he was positively infamous. Now though, his return has raised his reputation to near mythological status.

But it’s not just his name and reputation that is known around Bridgehead City. Recently, your crush on him has become equally as infamous.

It’s not your fault. It's not like you’re trying to make it obvious. The man is just so damn fine, blue or not. In the beginning, all you do is appreciate his form from a distance. It’s not like you see him all that often, anyway, so your admiration is mostly contained to quick glances in corridors and across the mess hall, whenever you spot him talking with his squad or walking with any of the higher ups.

It’s perfectly innocent! There’s nothing wrong with having a little crush on someone that will never notice you, after all.

The problem is that your crush, while innocuous, isn’t exactly subtle.

“Quaritch, huh?” It’s Anjali that asks, an older, pretty microbiologist with a sometimes off-puttingly blunt manner.

You pause, but don’t look up from the microscope you’ve been peering into. For a moment, you consider denying it. But what’s the point? If she’s asking, that means that she’s already noticed your shy, flustered glances in the colonel’s direction.

“Yeah,” You sigh, a little defeated. “I guess.”

Because you’re so focused on the plant specimen you’re studying, you don’t notice the way all the others in the lab start looking over, clearly eavesdropping. If you had, you might have backtracked – maybe you would have downplayed your embarrassing little crush.

“He’s just...” You fiddle with the glass slide beneath the lens, still fighting not to make eye-contact with Anjali. “He’s very handsome, isn’t he?”

Anjali snorts. She’s an older lady, with her grey-streaked hair scraped back into a severe bun, accentuating her harsh appearance. She’s working on her own report one desk over from you, but you can still see the way that she’s peering over her glasses at you.

“Is he?” She asks archly. “I wouldn’t know. I can’t see around his enormous sense of entitlement.”

You laugh a little awkwardly, and duck your head back down. God, you don’t know how else you expected that conversation to go. Everyone knows that Quaritch’s overzealous attempts to exert control over Pandora was what caused the whole war and resulted in the human population being forced off-planet all those years ago. Damn, you know that too!

But it’s not as though you like him as a person or anything! He’s not even really the same man as the one that did all that. Your fascination with him is really just… aesthetic appreciation.

“I just think he’s attractive, you know?” You mumble, embarrassed. “I don’t know what he was like as a human, but… I don’t know. There’s something about the- the height, and the muscles-”

“Oh, spare me.” Anjali mumbles sourly.

“You asked!” You snap, mortified. “I’m just saying-!”

That’s when another voice cuts in.

“He could break you in half with his pinkie finger.” Dr. Geiszler points out from a desk behind you. He’s not even trying to pretend that he’s not listening in, leaning right over his workspace as he eavesdrops.

Your eyes widen a little, and for the first time you realise that nearly everyone else in the laboratory has been listening in the whole time. Your face grows hot with humiliation, and you shrink a little in your stool. Oh fuck, why did they all look so interested?

Geiszler watches your reaction, and then his face slackens in an expression of realisation. “Oh shit, you’re into that.”

You genuinely can’t think of anything more humiliating right now. They’re all looking at you as though you’ve just grown an additional head.

“Oh, fuck off!” You say reflexively, scowling at them all. “You can’t pretend like you haven’t ever thought that the Na’vi are sexy!”

Anjali looks as though she’s just sucked on a lemon, but several other scientists start shiftily avoiding eye contact.

Geiszler just snorts. “That’s different. We’re not talking about just any Na’vi here, we’re talking about Quaritch!”

“He’s old enough to be your father.” Anjali points out, clearly disapproving. “Maybe even your grandfather.”

“So?” You say without thinking, before realising that this isn’t really an argument that you want to get into. “I mean- Not in his current body! No, fuck, I don’t mean- fuck. Look, can we just forget about this? Pretend I never said anything!”

Mercifully, they go silent at that, though you can still hear the faint sound of someone snickering in the back of the lab. They may not say anything more, but you’re all too aware that they’re still looking at each other and smirking. Laughing at you.

You hunch your shoulders and keep doing your work. You wouldn’t feel embarrassed or guilty over something as stupid as a harmless little crush that you can’t control. You wouldn’t.

Bridgehead really isn’t all that big, so you see the colonel semi-regularly. It’s always from a distance, but it’s still enough to give you a good look at those long legs, those big muscles, and that lithe, narrow waist. If you’re truthful with yourself, you go out of your way to organise your paths crossing.

You’re not even a fully-qualified scientist just yet. You don’t actually have an official title – you’re more like an intern. You work under the highly decorated scholars in xenobotany, running tasks and projects for them as part of your doctorate degree. You had been allowed out here to Pandora as part of your degree, in order to get the experience you needed to qualify, and it has treated you well so far. The whole internship position means that you have a little bit more freedom with regards your schedule, which works just perfectly for you.

So, yeah. What started out as innocent admiration has turned a little… stalkery. You’re willing to admit that. But it’s harmless!

So what if you know Colonel Quaritch’s schedule off by heart? So what if you linger around the areas that you know he frequents at opportune moments, like just after his workouts or drills? It doesn’t really matter if your eyes linger around his big biceps and his sculpted chest, especially when his deep blue skin is all heat-flushed and sweaty, right? And it surely doesn’t matter if you wander past the Recombinant areas of the base far more frequently than you need to, right? It’s not as if anyone is going to notice.

It doesn’t really matter how much you stare, because the colonel is utterly oblivious to your attention. He never notices you, not even once. And that’s fine too, you tell yourself. It makes it easier, in fact! You can admire him all you want if he never looks at you, after all.

It gets a little bit more challenging to hide where your attention is straying when other people start to figure it out.

It’s like your little crush is an inside joke in the science department. The scientists on base tend to be pretty good at minding their own business (mostly because they’re usually so damn focused on their own work and little projects), but in this case you’ve become an endless source of amusement for them.

You can see the way the entire xenobiology department giggle together when you perk up at dinnertime as soon as the Recombinant soldiers enter the mess hall, and you know that they’re nudging each other when your attention strays to the Colonel as he eats. He’s got such sharp teeth, and your eyes fixate on him as he licks the sorry excuse for food he’s been served off his canines.

When you start dressing up a little bit more, the science guys start sharing smirks. It’s a little bit humiliating, but honestly you think you’re starting to lose your sense of shame. You start wearing tight little pencil skirts and thin blouses, under the guise of professionalism, and you start to do your makeup a little bit heavier too. Quaritch never so much as bats an eyelid in your direction.

“Not that I’m complaining, per se,” Geiszler drawls one afternoon, leaning lazily against the worktop as you painstakingly organise tissue samples. “But aren’t you trying a little too hard?”

“Shut up.” You grumble, chewing on your stick lip-glossed lower lip. “It’s just a skirt.”

“Right.” He drawls, eyes trailing down over the length of your body as you shift on your uncomfortable little stool. “And the makeup?”

“It’s not breaking any uniform protocols.” You say simply, scratching just under your eye.

Geiszler sniffs, amused. “Is it true you’ve been following around the xenobiologists when they go to check on the recoms?”

You peer very closely at the tissue sample in your hands, a little more closely than entirely necessary. “Maybe.”

“Jesus.” He lets out a short, disbelieving sort of laugh. “Fuck. Why? D’you get off on being ignored or something?”

That’s a little crass, and you raise your head to scowl at him. He really doesn’t need to rub it in like that – it’s pretty damn obvious that your crush is unrequited. It’s cruel to point it out like that.

“It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t notice,” You mutter, aggravated. “I’m just- I just like looking, that’s all.”

Geiszler snorts again, but he appears to be somewhat sympathetic now. “Right. Just looking.”

Finally, you tear your attention away from the samples so you can scowl at him. “What do you want, Dr. Geiszler?”

“I want to put you out of your misery.” He replies simply, leaving his elbows against the worktop and smirking at you. “Recoms are being sent out tomorrow. Just a small run – Ardmore wants to put those new bodies to the test before she sends them out after Sully.”

“Why are you telling me this?” You ask as though you’re not hanging onto every damn word.

“They’re heading to the lowlands, at the base of the mountains,” Geiszler levels you with a significant look. “You know what that means, right?”

You perk up instantly at that, your eyes growing wide.

“Panopyra.” You breathe.

Your entire damn doctoral dissertation is centred around the unusual, jellyfish-like plants that grow on other Pandoran plants. It hovers somewhere between plant, animal, and fungi, having evolved a primitive sort of nervous system. It grows a cuplike body that collects water from dew and fog and condenses it down into a thick, syrupy sort of liquid. That liquid is then collected by the native Na’vi for use in their healing drinks. It is that medicinal property that fascinates you so much.

“Yeah, I thought that might get your attention.” Geiszler grins. “You’ve run out of the samples you’ve been using, right? You’re not gonna be able to write any more of your thesis without more specimens.”

“Yes,” You breathe, your brain already scrambling to think of all the things you need to do. “I need- oh, I need some cuttings of the sensory tissue, and I need a lot more samples of the internal liquid. The stems, too-”

“Right, right,” Geiszler interrupts, nodding. “The problem is, it’s just the Recoms being sent out. They’re not bringing any of the science team.”

Your shoulders sag a little at that. How are you meant to get a proper sample if there’s no one qualified to take samples going on their reconnaissance trip?

As if he knows exactly what you’re thinking, Geiszler’s smile turns a little sly. “If you want those samples, you’re gonna have to ask the big man in charge of the mission to bring some back for you. And you’re gonna have to ask real nicely.”

Colonel Quaritch’s office is empty when you call at it, and so you’re forced to go searching for him.

You find the recoms in the little recreation room just off the hangar designated for soldier use – Na’vi-sized beanbags had been thrown into it as an afterthought for the recom soldiers, and it’s almost comical to walk in and find so many of them sprawled across the squishy chairs. Some of them have instead decided to squeeze them into the regular armchairs, with one Na’vi-sized body occupying an entire sofa. They’re playing poker of all things; they’ve been provided with a set of over-sized playing cards and everything.

They’re a rowdy bunch, shouting and roaring with laughter, and so they don’t immediately spot you when you edge your way into the room. For a moment, you think that the colonel isn’t here. But then you take another look, and you spot him.

Quaritch is standing to the side, his spine taut and his shoulders back and straight. It’s a very formal position just for watching his squad relax, but there’s a certain softness to his expression as he watches them that you’ve never seen from him before. Your heart skips a beat; this is the most unguarded that you’ve ever seen him, and your eyes fixate on his face eagerly as you try to drink in all the details.

It’s Fike that notices you first.

“Aw, man,” He groans, tilting his head back dramatically before gesturing at you with his cards. “Not another checkup. We told the other doc, if something feels wrong we’ll tell you-”

“Ah, no.” You’re beginning to get flustered. Fike’s exclamation has drawn the attention of the other recoms, and all of a sudden you feel as though you’ve been placed under a spotlight. “I’m- I’m not actually a doctor!”

There’s a very brief pause, and then one of the female soldiers sits up from her beanbag to squint at you. You think this one is Walker.

“Why are you here all the time, then?” She asks. “Weren’t you here for our checkup yesterday?”

Oh. They had noticed. Embarrassed heat is beginning to build in your cheeks, and you can’t help but dart a quick look over at where Quaritch is still leaning against the wall. For the first time ever, he’s looking right at you. The realisation sends little jolts of electricity racing up your spine. His expression is entirely neutral, almost bored, but that doesn’t matter. He’s seeing you.

“I was just, um, shadowing the xenobiologists,” You say quickly, “For my internship.”

One of the other recoms turns to another and mouths 'internship’, and they both start to snicker. You pretend not to notice.

“And what does the intern want with us?” Fike asks, already having turned back to his cards.

It’s terribly embarrassing having to stand here and have these 9-foot-tall soldiers basically look you up and down before disregarding your entire existence. But you’re here now, and you have to push through.

“I’d..” You begin, before your throat goes dry and you have to clear your throat before trying again. “Could I please speak to the colonel?”

All the snickering and whispering dies down for a moment as the recoms look at you before swinging their heads around to look at their superior officer. There’s a moment of silence, but then the subtle sniggers start right back up again.

“So polite,” one of them whispers, and you feel yourself burn with embarrassment. But it doesn’t matter how many of them are sharing smirks or whispers, because Colonel Quaritch has pushed himself off the wall and is beginning to step towards you.

Oh god, he’s so big. You have to actually tilt your head back just to look at his face as he comes to a stop in front of you, and you begin to fidget nervously with your fingers. Up close, he seems so much bigger. Every movement has the skin around his muscles flexing, and you have to work hard not to stare like an absolute moron.

He doesn’t crouch or bend down to make it easier for you to talk to him. Instead he just raises a brow, clearly waiting for you to speak.

“I, um- hello,” You start off clumsily, growing flustered under the weight of his intense, golden gaze. God, does he even realise how intimidating that is? “I was wondering if- I mean, I heard that you’re being sent out into the Pandoran lowlands tomorrow, and I was wondering if you might be able to bring me back something-”

God, you sound like such an idiot. There’s no way he doesn’t notice the way your voice trembles, or how you can’t quite meet his eyes, or how you keep stumbling over your words, but he just watches you evenly with no expression on his handsome face.

You fumble for the datapad that you brought with you, tapping clumsily at the screen before holding it up for him. His eyes dart to the photograph that’s being displayed, but he still doesn’t speak.

“This is panopyra.” You say, and your voice grows a little stronger. This, at least, is something you feel comfortable talking about. “It’s a plant that’s displaying characteristics of a new line of evolution toward a primitive nervous system. My entire dissertation is focused around my research into this plant, and I really need some samples. The body of it is hollow, and it collects a liquid inside-”

Finally, Quaritch speaks.

“We ain’t bein’ sent out to do gardening.” His voice is deep and rumbly, edged with that Southern drawl. It has a hint of danger, even when he’s not actually threatening anything.

“I know!” You say hastily. “I know that. I just thought- I thought that maybe if you happened to see one, you might be able to take a sample of the liquid inside of it and, um… and bring it back.”

You end up trailing off a little pathetically, feeling overpowered by his intense stare. God, he looks so unimpressed with you right now. You bite your glossy lip and try not to shrink into yourself entirely.

At last, Quaritch sighs and holds out his hand. “Give me that thing.”

You hand over the datapad at once, your eyes growing wide at the possibility of him actually accepting. Asking for this favour had served the dual purpose of fulfilling your work needs and getting to talk to him, but you hadn’t actually expected him to agree.

He squints at the photograph on the screen, and swipes lazily through the mass amounts of text accompanying. “I ain’t reading all that shit. Give me the run-down on it.”

You had actually written ‘all that shit’, but no matter.

“It grows similar to a fungus, so you’ll likely find it attached to trees or other plants,” You rush to explain, excitement beginning to bubble up into your chest. “You won’t be able to take an actual sample of the tissue without damaging it, so forget about that. What I really would like is a sample of the fluid that collects inside the cup on top, see?”

His eyes follow you as you reach up on your toes to point out what you’re referring to in the photograph, and his ears flick back in acknowledgement.

“It poisonous?”

You hesitate a moment. “...No.”

Quaritch shoots you a look of obvious disbelief. “You wanna try that again?”

“It’s not poisonous.” You say, a little bit more convincingly this time. “But it does have a sort of defence system. Just… don’t touch the little tendrils.”

Quaritch’s face is set in stern disapproval, but he isn’t saying no.

“I’ll provide you with the instruments you need,” You continue, starting to bounce a little on your toes at the prospect of him agreeing. You really need these samples. “Oh, I’d be so grateful!”

There’s a muffled sound from somewhere over your shoulder, where the rest of the recoms are no doubt watching and listening with great interest, but you don’t turn. Quaritch’s gaze flickers only momentarily towards them, and they silence instantly. God, he’s so effortlessly commanding.

When he looks back to you, he just sighs through his nose and hands you back the datapad. “Fine. Send me the details.”

For a moment, you just stare at him. It takes a beat to register that he’s just agreed, and then a wide, beaming grin begins to grow across your face.

“Thank you-!” You start to squeal, but he cuts you off with a quick wave of his hand.

“Cut that out,” He grumbles, already beginning to scowl as he steps back. “Never let it be said by Ardmore that I was unco-operative with the goddamned science department, yeah?”

You’re not willing to press your luck any further than you already have. You just nod, a little frantic, before sending him one last smile and scurrying your way out of the room. The laughter from the rec room follows you all the way up the corridor, but you don’t care – you’re getting your samples and you just had your first conversation with Quaritch. He looked at you, he spoke to you. He knows you exist!

You’re smiling to yourself the entire way back to the lab, flushed with the pleasure of your success.

For the next couple of days, you’re waiting on tenterhooks for the recoms return.

You still work away on your projects and your research, but you’re hyper-attuned to everyone that comes and goes from the lab. It’s not as though you’re really expecting the recoms to come into the lab, but you’re listening desperately for any news of their return.

The day before they’re due to arrive back to base, Geiszler comes to irritate you at your desk.

“Go away.” You grumble before he can say a word.

“Oh, come on!” He laughs. “I come bearing gifts!”

That catches your attention, and you raise your head from your work to squint at him. He’s standing there with a stupid sort of grin on his face, the kind that makes you uneasy, and his hands are tucked behind his back.

“What?” You ask suspiciously.

With a flourish, Geiszler pulls his arms out from behind his back. When you see what’s in his hands, you nearly scream.

“Oh my god, what the fuck is wrong with you-!” You hiss, whirling around to look frantically over your shoulders.

Mercifully, there’s no one around to witness the enormous blue dildo in his hands as he offers it up to you.

Geiszler is laughing, as though this is just the funniest shit he could have imagined. “Oh, the look on your face-!”

“Get that away from me!” You hiss, scandalised. “Oh my god, you do realise that I could report you for workplace sexual harassment-”

“But you won’t, because we made this specially for you-”

“We?” You hiss in disbelief. “Who the fuck is we?”

Geiszler waves that away as though it’s unimportant. “Me and some of the other guys in xeno. Look, it gets boring in the lab. We thought this was funny. It’s a Na’vi dildo, to scale. You’re welcome.”

“You are such an asshole.” You snap, mortified. “God, what is wrong with you!”

Geiszler just snorts, and places the big dildo on your desk, right in the middle of your papers. It’s almost comically large, made with bright blue silicone and featuring a prominent, squishy head. It’s even ribbed down the underside, with bumps that admittedly look rather attractive. Your face burns at the sight of it.

“Do you have any idea how hard it was to get that 3D-printed-”

“Take it back!” You pick it up and try to push it at him, but he’s already backing away with his hands up in the air. The stupid prick is laughing at you.

“Nu-uh! It’s all yours!” He’s already backing away, all sniggers. “You can imagine the colonel-”

“Oh, you freak! That is so invasive-!” You nearly drop the dildo entirely, both horrified and mortified.

Oh my god, it was to scale. This was the size of what the colonel was packing? It feels as though the silicone is burning in your hand, and you feel horribly hot and prickly. Oh, this was such an invasion of the colonel’s privacy. Whether it was the standard size of a Na’vi cock or not, the idea of using it while imagining Quaritch over you has you flushed and embarrassed.

Geiszler is still laughing when he ducks out of the lab, leaving you alone and absolutely humiliated.

After that, you avoid the lab. You know that the scientists all think that your crush on Quaritch is just one big joke, and you really don’t want to see them all smirking and sniggering when they see you, and you really don’t want to have to field any sly comments about the stupid dildo.

You’ve been too mortified to even look at it too closely, so you take it and hide it away under a load of papers in a separate work area that’s usually used as storage. You’ve been hiding away in this separate little work room for days now; you can’t do any important experiments here, but it’s as good a place as any to work on your dissertation and at least you can be alone here.

You’re in this little work area, typing furiously, when the door slides open behind you with a hiss.

“Geiszler, if you’re here just to harass me again, I will fuck you up.” You bite out without turning, your shoulders turning tense as you glare at your monitor.

There’s a moment of silence, and you hope that he’s taken the hint to go away and leave you alone.

“I’m not sure I appreciate that tone, girl.”

You turn so quickly that you nearly overbalance right off your chair, eyes wide and horrified. The workroom that you’ve practically claimed for yourself is small, with low ceilings designed for human use – that means that Quaritch has had to duck down to fit through the door, and remains standing hunched and visibly irritated, with one hand lifted against the ceiling so he doesn’t hit his head.

“Oh-!” You scramble to get off your chair and fix your skirt, tugging it down straight as you hope and pray that your hair looks alright. “Sir, I- I didn’t realise that you were back!”

Quaritch just grunts. He does not look particularly happy, but he sets a large sample container on one of the empty desk spaces. Inside, it’s filled with a clear liquid that could easily be mistaken for water, but you know better.

“Oh!” You gasp, jolting forward to take a better look. “Oh, such a big sample! This is amazing, thank you!”

Quaritch says nothing, his big alien face impossible to read.

“It better be worth it.” Another voice cuts in, and you jolt in surprise at the realisation that there’s another big blue figure ducking in through the door after Quaritch.

You pause, uncertain in the face of this newcomer and already nervous from Quaritch’s overbearing presence. Oh, god. He’s brought company. Why has he brought company? Another blue head appears over the shoulder of the first soldier, and your eyes dart between them. You’ve spent enough time watching the Colonel to recognise them as Corporal Wainfleet and Private Fike, though you don’t have so much as a passing acquaintance with them.

“I thought you said they were harmless.” Fike grumbles, before raising his hands up to show you rather brutal looking purple bruises along the backs of his hands. “Fucking look at this.”

“Oh.” You breathe, wincing. “No, I said they weren’t poisonous. I did tell you to watch out for the tendrils. The defence system is really quite amazing-”

“Oh yeah, it felt fucking amazing when it was stinging the ever-loving shit out of me.” Fike interrupts, though he appears to have lost interest in speaking to you in favour of peering curiously around the work room.

You can imagine that the place looks fairly dismal; you hadn’t been expecting visitors, so your research is scattered everywhere. Coloured sketches and photographs of cross-sections of the panopyra plant are stuck up on the walls all over, not just around your own desk. You’ve taken advantage of the desks that are never in use, piling your notes and research high all over the place. Writing your dissertation is exhausting work, after all – there is just so much to learn from these plants, so much potential.

“Well, I think that it is worth it.” You say, stepping towards the counter that Quaritch had placed your sample on and reaching eagerly for the beaker. “It’s difficult to get samples like this – there are so few excursions into the jungle these days. But one this size might actually be enough to fuel my research for the next two months at least! I might actually be able to finish my dissertation at last-”

No one is listening to you, you’re quite certain, but you don’t let that deter you as you babble away, raising the beaker to your eye level so that you can examine it. The liquid inside is pure and uncontaminated – the perfect specimen.

“Whoa,” Wainfleet is peering at the sketches on the wall. “You’re really into these weird little plants, huh?”

“They’re the whole reason I’m here on Pandora.” You say matter-of-factly, placing the beaker back down on the desk. “Everything I’m doing here, all my research, is all centred around them.”

It’s the most you’ve ever said in the presence of the recoms, and you find yourself mentally patting yourself on the back. You really are intelligent and driven, though you’re sure that the recoms would never have guessed it based on how moronically you act around Colonel Quaritch. They seem quite surprised to discover that you have actual interests other than their beefy commanding officer.

Fike and Wainfleet both poke around the work room curiously, snickering with each other as they peer blindly into microscopes and push around enormous reference books like big kids.

“Hey, careful with that!” You say reproachfully, though they pay you no mind.

Quaritch himself is still standing silently, taking in the room with alert but judgemental eyes. He doesn’t seem all that impressed by your work, but then again it’s almost impossible to read him. He makes no effort to chide his underlings at all, and they continue messing about unchecked.

“Took us a while to find you.” Quaritch speaks suddenly, and your attention is drawn to him immediately, a swoop of excitement juddering through you at the fact that he’s speaking to you. “You’re not in the lab with the rest of the science pukes.”

Your silly excitement at being on the receiving end of his attention dims a little at that. Science pukes? Seriously? You’ve worked damn hard for this degree!

“That’s not nice.” You say, then mentally curse yourself. It’s not quite the scathing reproach you had intended – it comes out a little wobbly and uncertain. God, why do you have to come across as such a sad little wet blanket whenever you’re in front of him?

“Not nice?” Quaritch repeats, sounding partially amused and partially disbelieving. “And when have I ever been known for bein’ nice, sweetheart?”

Good lord, he’s terrifying. You don’t normally have a difficult time standing up for yourself, but something about being on the receiving end of that bright yellow stare makes your stomach twist. You don’t know if it's fear or arousal, and you also don't know which would be worse.

“I just mean-” You start, trying hard to keep your voice strong and confident. “That calling people names isn’t nice.”

Calling people names isn’t nice. Fucking hell, you sound like a goddamn five-year-old. What is even happening to you? You swear you’re not normally like this. Has your brain just rotted thanks to all the stupid ogling of his big biceps you’ve been doing? You’re mortified.

“Jesus Christ.” Wainfleet’s voice calls out from somewhere behind you. “What the fuck is this?”

For a moment, you’re desperately relieved that they’ve called attention away from you. Quaritch is looking at you with scathing disbelief for that calling people names comment, and you’re quite sure that whatever he was going to say in response to that would be so biting that you’d wish you were dead.

But then you turn to look at Wainfleet, and you actually do wish that you were dead.

Because in his hand, looking almost regular sized against his much larger body, is that stupid, evil giant blue Na’vi dildo that Geiszler had given you last week. You had stuffed it behind a whole load of old papers on an unused desk and forgotten about it – it was just your fucking luck that these gormless blue bastards would unearth it accidentally as they poked around.

Mortification erupts through your body, so overwhelming that it roots you to the spot. No way. No way. No way.

“Holy fuck!” Fike bursts out laughing, and holds his hands up. “Give that here!”

Nothing can describe the sheer humiliation that sears through you when Wainfleet tosses the dildo to Fike. You just stand there frozen, watching the two enormous Na’vi soldiers throw a huge silicone dick between them in the middle of your workspace.

“Damn, the little intern’s a freak!” Fike says in mock approval, his voice dripping in amusement.

He makes a show of holding the dildo up to the light and peering at it, faux-admiring the bumps and ridges along the shaft.

“No, that’s not-” You start, and your voice cracks. “That’s not mine-”

You go entirely ignored as the two soldiers roar boisterously.

“Damn, you think of the Colonel when you use this?” Wainfleet asks, cackling as Fike throws it back to him. “Is this why you follow him around everywhere? You want the real thing?”

The humiliation is so intense that it’s actually difficult to breathe around it, stifling and choking. You glance at Quaritch, hoping that by some miracle he’s gone temporarily blind and deaf and has missed this entire exchange so far. The idea of him knowing that you’ve been following him around is shocking, and you feel yourself shrinking.

Quaritch has just pressed his lips together. As you watch, he gives a deep sigh through his nose.

Your stomach quivers with mortification. Oh my god. He knew already – how long has he been aware of your crush?

“No,” You choke out, your skin burning hot. “No, I don’t- I don’t use that, it was given to me as a joke-”

Quaritch is still so difficult to read, but even still he looks as though he would rather be literally anywhere else right now. His gaze flickers briefly over your face, which is all contorted in mortification as you just barely bite back tears, and he rolls his eyes with a sigh.

“Alright, that’s enough-” Quaritch starts, but it’s too late.

Wainfleet has just reached out and smacked Fike around the head with the dildo, laughing as he did so, and Fike stumbles back with a playful roar as he tries to escape the silicone cock. He throws his arms out to catch his balance, but his big hands splay across one of the work tables and knock some of your reference books to the floor.

But it’s not just the books he knocks into. His hand smacks into that precious beaker full of panopyra liquid, and you let out a startled shout as the force of the blow of his hand breaks the glass container, the liquid inside showering all over the desk with all your papers.

Everyone goes silent, as though the sound of breaking glass signals some kind of change in the atmosphere.

You let out a sound that’s positively wounded, jerking forward to the destroyed sample. You needed this specimen so badly – it was supposed to inform the research that you needed to finish your dissertation. How long would you have to wait for another sample like this one? You’ve been working on this research for years, and you were so damn close to the end. So damn close to being qualified, to stepping up the ladder and being taken seriously by your peers rather than just being seen as an intern.

“Shit.” One of the recoms mutter; you don’t bother looking up to see if it’s Wainfleet or Fike. “Didn’t mean to-”

Your eyes trace over the mess of broken glass, but then you realise what the sample has broken on and you feel your stomach drop to your feet.

“No!” You shriek, launching yourself forward.

The recoms all jerk in surprise at your shout, but you pay them no mind. It’s like they’re invisible to you now. All you can see is the way that your papers, your precious research, is being soaked through and destroyed by the liquid that has spilled all over the desk.

“No, no, no, no.” You breathe to yourself, biting hard at the inside of your cheek to keep from crying as you struggle to pick up your research, shaking it out in an attempt to get the worst of the wetness off.

It’s too late. Your research, all your painstakingly-taken hand-written notes, tears like wet tissue-paper in your hands.

You raise your head to look at the three recoms in your workspace, still clutching your destroyed research to your chest. You must look crazed, breathing heavily with wide and wild eyes, because Wainfleet and Fike share a wincing look with each other.

Awkwardly, Wainfleet reaches out and places the large dildo on the counter next to the ruins of your work. Everyone in the room struggles not to look at it.

Quaritch’s jaw is clenched hard, his ears pinned back against the sides of his head. He appears to be holding himself back from shouting, though you’re not sure at who. Slowly, he turns his head to look at his two subordinates, who are now standing with their heads ducked as they try not to make eye contact.

With trembling hands, you drop your ruined research back down on the counter. Your mortification is swiftly being overtaken by pure rage.

How fucking dare they? It would be one thing for them to mock you about your crush (that apparently Quaritch was already fucking aware of) but it’s entirely another for them to humiliate you by parading around with that stupid fucking dildo that you’ve never even properly touched. And then to go and destroy your sample, the one that you’ve waited so long for and that you needed so desperately for your dissertation? And to destroy a chunk of your existing research too?

“Get out.” You whisper, your fingers shaking as you pluck at the ruins of your papers.

Quaritch sighs through his nose. “Look, we’ll get you another sample of the damn thing. There’s no need to-”

“Get out!” You raise your voice for real, whipping your head up to shout at them. “God, you assholes! Get out!”

Fike laughs nervously, glancing towards Quaritch. That only sets you off even more. They have the audacity to follow their commanding officer into your workspace and mess around, ruining things, and now they’re not going to listen to you after destroying your work? God, they look down on you so much it’s sickening. They’re not even listening to you after humiliating you so soundly, choosing instead to look towards Quaritch as if his opinion matters so much more than yours.

Your rage is only fuelled by your earlier embarrassment, your face flushed with heat as you glare at them. Oh, you’re furious. You can’t remember ever being so humiliated and livid in your life.

“I want you fucking out!” You roar, and when they don’t move you reach for a reference book on the table beside you and launch it at them. “You’ve fucking ruined it-”

Wainfleet ducks to avoid the book that soars over his head, but you’re already reaching for another one. He throws his hands up in a gesture of surrender, but you’re so blinded by rage that you barely even see it.

“Oi!” Quaritch lets out a shout and steps forward with his hands outstretched as if to physically stop you. “Enough! You’ll be written up for assault if you keep this up-”

You let out an inarticulate noise of fury as you throw a second book, this one bouncing harmlessly off Fike’s shoulder. “I’ll be written up for murder if you don’t get the fuck out of here-”

Wainfleet lets out a sound that sounds like a nervous giggle that’s been choked back. You can imagine that it’s a little bit of a shock for them to see you go from shy and mild-mannered to absolutely fucking insane, but your crush on Quaritch really had made you act like a total idiot around them. You feel so stupid about it now – you had become so enamoured with someone who totally ignored your existence, shrinking into yourself like a goddamn wallflower because you were so shy around him.

But Quaritch is looking at you, for possibly one of the first times ever. Not just looking at you, but seeing you.

When you grab at a microscope to throw, heavy and metal and definitely capable of doing some damage, Quaritch lets out a sharp hiss and steps forward with a single hand outstretched towards you as though to physically restrain you.

“Get out.” He says without looking at his soldiers.

Wainfleet and Fike share a look with each other before practically scrambling to leave. They can’t seem to leave fast enough, though you have no doubt that they’re snickering together as they go.

“You too.” You grit out, fists clenched around the microscope as though it’s a weapon. “I want you gone too.”

Despite your obvious anger, Quaritch makes no move to leave. His big honey-coloured eyes trace over the broken glass on your desk, your ruined research, your big teary eyes. You probably look like a mess; you’re practically sweating from all the embarrassment, your hair is in disarray, your eyes are all swollen from the angry tears that are threatening to spill over.

“You need to calm down, darlin’.” He says, his voice low and a little bit rumbly. Ordinarily that might make you melt, but as it is you just feel as though he’s being condescending. “It’s just some goddamn plant water. You’ll get more on the next run.”

“Oh, fuck off.” You snap without thinking, your chest still heaving with poorly stifled emotion. “It’s not just about the sample and you know it.”

Quaritch’s golden eyes cut towards the big dildo on the counter, and you feel your temper flare all over again.

“It’s not about that either!” You snap, embarrassed and defensive. “This research is my life! Without it, there’s no point to me even being here on Pandora. Your fucking knuckleheads have just destroyed months worth of work. Do you have any idea how much harder I have to work than the fucking men out there?”

You gesture towards the door to the main laboratory, where you’re sure they’ve walked past all the overwhelmingly male scientists working away. No doubt they can hear the shouting, but no one has been brave enough to come looking to see what’s wrong.

Quaritch’s expression doesn’t so much as twitch as he watches you rage, and he doesn’t interrupt.

“Do you have any idea how difficult it is just to claw my way up to equal standing with them? They laugh at me enough already, that’s why they gave me that stupid thing-” You wave at the dildo without looking at it. “Just because they knew that I liked you. They laugh at me for having a stupid crush on you, and I… I’m so sick of people looking at me like I’m just pathetic, because I work so hard! And now you’re here, and you’ve just ruined my work-”

Quaritch lets you rant until you run yourself dry. You’re breathing heavily, exhausted and furious and so fucking sick of the sight of him.

“Look, kid.” He says at last, when you pause for breath. “You’re sweet. Pretty. Smart, clearly. But I ain’t looking for anything like that. I need to focus on this mission-”

“Oh, what the fuck.” You breathe, staring at him in total disbelief. “Is that the only part you fucking heard? I have a crush on you, that’s it! All I wanted was for you to look my way, and it took a giant fucking dildo for you to actually acknowledge that you knew about how I felt? You’re such a dick-”

“Hey,” He barks, stepping forward. He’s so huge, his bulk alone throwing you into shadow as he looms over you. “Watch your mouth-”

“No!” You snap, although your voice is a little thin. He really is an intimidating bastard. “No, you don’t get to tell me what to do! God, I am so sick of men thinking they can tell me what to do-”

Quaritch’s chest erupts in a little rumbling snarl, and you have to fight not to flinch away from him. He’s like a beast, lip all curled up over his fangs as he growls at you for your attitude.

“So what, your solution is to hide away in this miserable little room?” He demands, stepping forward just so he can look down his nose at you. “Some of those dickless little science guys were mean to you, so you’re gonna lock yourself away like this?”

“It’s not-”

“What’s the point in dressing up all pretty in those little skirts with all that makeup if you’re hiding away in here, huh?” He continues, insistent as he keeps pushing forward until you start to back up. “Maybe that’s why they don’t take you seriously. You need to stand up for-”

“That’s for you!” You shout, temper flaring up all over again. “I do that for you, because I thought you might look at me!”

Quaritch pauses at that, blinking as though you’ve just taken him by surprise. It infuriates you; how could he be so stupid, especially when he has known about your crush all this time. It’s not like it was subtle.

Suddenly, you feel absolutely exhausted. It’s like every ounce of your energy has been leached out of you, and you turn your head and sigh. The amount of emotions that have washed through you in such a short space of time has left you feeling drained and drawn, and you just want to be left alone now.

“I don’t want to look at you anymore.” You say tiredly, turning away from him and burying your face in your hands. “Just get out. Go away.”

There’s a long pause, but mercifully Quaritch doesn’t try to argue any further. You’re still turned away and facing the wall, so you hardly hear his quiet footsteps as he turns on his heel and marches out of the room. The door whooshes closed behind him, leaving you alone and hunched in the middle of the room.

In hindsight, you may have overreacted with the recoms a little bit.

You had been careful to back up some of the most important points of your research to your hard drive, so you hadn’t truly lost as much information as you had initially feared. It’s more of an inconvenience than a tragedy, really. The loss of the sample does sting quite a bit, but you’ll get more. It just might take another couple of months – the wait is frustrating, but there’s nothing you can do about that.

All you can do is try to recoup some of the notes that you’ve lost, and struggle to write more based on the samples that you’ve already studied. It’s very difficult to come up with any new material when you don’t actually have anything to work with, but all you can do is your best, as usual.

Geiszler creeps into the small workroom a few days later.

For several days after the incident with the recoms, none of your colleagues have dared to say a word to you. You’re sure they had heard the shouting, the glass shattering, the sound of you throwing books. If they had somehow missed all that, then they surely would have noticed the recoms that had stalked from the workroom, all agitated and pent up from the argument. Yet none of them have even asked you if you were okay.

“Still avoiding us, huh?” Geiszler asks, his question accompanied with a nervous laugh.

“Fuck off.” You bite out without looking away from your computer screen.

“Ouch.” Geiszler mutters. “I suppose I might deserve that.”

You can hear him approaching, but you still refuse to turn around. You just keep stubbornly working away, acting as though you’re too busy to spare him any attention. Unfortunately, Geiszler doesn’t let your inattention sway him; he just settles in a stool nearby, fidgeting with his fingers.

“I, uh… heard about that little blow up you had with the Colonel.” He says, clearly a little awkward. “I wanted to apologise. Upon reflection, the, uh… the dildo thing might have been a little inappropriate.”

You fight the urge to sigh. God, what did you do to deserve being surrounded with morons like this?

“Yeah, no shit.” You mutter, finally looking up to glare at him. “Why are you here? All I want is to be left alone.”

Geiszler, to your gratification, looks positively shame-faced. He’s looking down at his hands as he twiddles his thumbs, sighing.

“Wanted to apologise, I guess.” He mutters, shrugging.

“Yeah, well, whatever.” You mutter, finally abandoning your attempts to appear busy as you turn to him. “Plenty more Na’vi on Pandora, right?”

A nervous giggle bubbles out of his chest, as though he’s not certain if he’s allowed to laugh or not.

“Yeah, yeah, right.” He says, starting to grin. “And, uh… are you.. Are you strictly Na’vi-sexual, or are you-”

You burst out laughing, turning to look at him in disbelief. “Na’vi-sexual? There’s no way you just fucking asked me that.”

There’s a bizarre sort of blush on his face, but he laughs along with you anyway. “Right, right. Well, you can’t blame me for wondering, right? With your crush, I mean.”

Your smile fades, and you look back down at your work scattered all over the desk.

“I don’t want to talk about that, actually.” You murmur, “I think I’ve made enough of a fool of myself as is.”

Geiszler nods awkwardly, looking distinctly guilty.

“Yeah. You, um,” He breaks off, scratching uncomfortably at the back of his neck. “You look nice.”

You just raise a sardonic eyebrow at him. You’ve gone without makeup today, and you know that going bare-faced makes you look younger, but who were you kidding with all that makeup, anyway? You’ve abandoned the sleek pencil skirts and pretty blouses, too. Under your lab coat you wear a simple sort of sundress, one that stops just below the knees. No heels, either, just sneakers.

“Yeah, well.” You shrug a shoulder lazily. “No one to impress.”

Geiszler’s smile twists as he nods again. “Sure, sure. Um… look, I was wondering-”

You never do get to know what it is that Geiszler is wondering. The sound of the door to the workroom hissing open cuts him off, and he falls silent as the two of you look to see who has just encroached into your space.

The sight of Quaritch’s big blue form ducking in and then straightening up has the two of you stiffening, staring at him in disbelief.

You’re absolutely rooted to the spot at the sight of him, but when he turns to look at you, you whirl around and immediately feign being busy. You grab blindly at papers and datapads, and peer unseeingly at your computer screen as you try to look preoccupied. What is he doing here?

Geiszler, meanwhile, doesn’t even try to pretend that he’s not gawking stupidly.

Quaritch glances his way, and his expression drops into a sneer. “What’re you looking at? Get outta here.”

Irritatingly, Geiszler scrambles to do just that. He sends one last glance towards you before practically fleeing from the room, nervously ducking around Quaritch’s imposingly large figure.

Your eyes bulge a little now that you’re left alone with him, and your eyes dart around frantically around the room in search of something to do. Why is he here? Why the fuck has he come back? It’s been days since your embarrassing breakdown in front of him, and you’ve been blissfully unaware of him since. You’ve basically just locked yourself up in this room, working on your research. You’ve even taken meals here – it’s a much more productive use of your time than wandering around the base after Quaritch in the hopes of catching a good glimpse of his ass in his camo.

Fighting to resist the urge to look his way, you tap urgently at the datapad in your hand.

“Do you need something, Colonel?” You ask icily, your attention focused down on your pad. “I’m very busy.”

There’s a momentary silence, but you’re not willing to look up to see his expression.

“Was that one of the cockless little deadbeats that’s been giving you a hard time?”

Giving you a hard time. God, it sounds as though you’re a bullied little kid. How embarrassing.

“He’s the one that gave me the dildo.” You say simply, tapping on the datapad screen. “But he’s not so bad, I guess. Just a bit of an idiot. That doesn’t answer my question.”

The next pause is much longer.

“Haven’t seen you around.” Quaritch drawls, his voice slow and even. “Couldn’t get away from you, before.”

Oh my god, this man is just determined to humiliate you.

Pursing your lips, you turn and march towards the specimen fridge in the corner of the room. It’s really just a mini fridge; a low, hip-high box that contains various biological specimens, and you kneel down and stick your head inside in an attempt to look busy.

“Not like there was any need to come see you.” You call out simply, your voice slightly muffled from inside the fridge. “You made yourself pretty clear, before.”

“Oh?” His voice is closer, though his steps are so light that you can’t hear him approach. “About what?”

“About me.” You snap, though you keep your head firmly buried in the fridge. It’s so much easier to talk to him when you can’t see his face. “Just go back to ignoring me, please.”

There’s another long pause, and you keep staring blankly at the bright white wall of the mini fridge. But then a touch comes to your hip, and you jolt in surprise.

Quaritch’s hand is big and hot, the heat of it searing through the fabric of your labcoat and your sundress. It engulfs your whole damn hip, curving around towards your lower stomach.

“What’s with the change in clothes, sweetheart?” His voice has dropped an octave, rumbling into you as you feel him shuffle closer. “I thought all those little skirts were for me.”

Your fingers clench around the door of the fridge. What the fuck is he doing? All that time you had spent dressed up, made up, simpering like a damn idiot at him, he had barely even given you a sideways glance. But now, after screaming and crying at him like a lunatic, he’s making a pass at you while you’re wearing a simple dress with no makeup. What the fuck?

“I’m not trying to impress you.” You say simply – you feel braver inside the fridge.

“No?” His thumb strokes over your thigh, and you feel the hem of your dress hitch higher. “Well, I like this little number. Better than the others, maybe.”

You swallow thickly, staring blankly at one of the little labeled test tubes beside your face. You don’t answer, but you don’t protest either. Quaritch seems to take your lack of response as encouragement, because his whole hand drifts from your hip to just under your dress. You jerk as you feel the skirt being flipped up over your ass – but you still don’t pull away.

“Hey, kid,” He murmurs, his voice soft and a little condescending. “I gotta question for you.”

His hands are moving slowly, as though waiting to see if you’re going to kick out or try to stop him any way. You know you probably should (where is your goddamn self-respect), but for some reason you allow the touch to travel all the way up your thighs.

Your belly tightens, heat flooding between your legs. Oh god, why aren’t you stopping this? You’re already embarrassed enough about the show of yourself you’ve made in front of him – this is surely going to make it worse by making you seem like a total slut. But then again, you’ve been desperate for him since you first locked eyes on him. Maybe you are a slut.

“What?” You breathe, your voice trembling a little as his big fingers leave red-hot trails over the bare skin on the back of your legs. A large palm strokes over the inside of your thigh, the soft calluses tickling your sensitive skin.

“That dildo. You ever use it?”

The question startles you enough that you jolt, the top of your head smacking into the top of the fridge.

“What?”

He chuckles, and then you feel those big fingers curl around your cotton panties. “You coming outta there?”

“No,” You blurt, grabbing at the sides of the mini fridge. “No, I’m very busy.”

There’s a sharp tug to your underwear, and you gasp as you feel him pull the back of your panties up so that they’re wedged right up between your ass cheeks, the fabric stretched taut and tight over your cunt. You’re admittedly wetter than you’d like to be, and you feel your cheeks burn at the thought of him noticing.

And yet, you still don’t pull away. If anything, you’re holding your breath, waiting to see what the fuck he’s going to do next.

When you feel warm breath on your exposed ass cheek, you nearly choke. Oh my god, how closely is he looking at you right now? Is his face pressed right up between your legs? It sure fucking feels like it.

“Answer the question.”

You swallow thickly. “I, um.. I don’t-”

His hand twists, and you gasp as your panties are pulled up further. The message is clear – tell the truth.

“Once,” You choke out, mortified. “Just once! I just- I threw it out after, I didn’t-”

You don’t even have time to fully process the fact that you’ve just admitted that. It had been a moment of total weakness, your decision to smuggle that stupid dildo back to your room. Or maybe it had been morbid curiosity – you just wanted to know if you would be able to take it. You had binned it straight after, mortified by your own weakness.

There’s a sharp pain on the soft pudge of your ass, as though he’s just nipped at you there. Your thighs twitch together, horrified by the little electric zap of arousal that jolts between your legs.

“Could you take it?” He wonders, and you can hear a grin in his voice.

Holy shit, is this happening? Are you dead? Hallucinating? Have you just lost your goddamn mind?

Emboldened by the fact that he can’t see your face where you’ve stuffed your head and shoulders into the fridge, you mumble, “Pervert.”

Two hands grip at your hips, and you let out a wheezing, startled gasp when you feel a wide, rough tongue lick a stripe across your pussy through your panties. His spit soaks through the delicate fabric, making it cling to your already sticky cunt.

“Whatcha say?” He mumbles, his muffled words vibrating against your clit. He sounds smug, the bastard.

Your thighs clench around his face, but he just reaches up and pushes them back open again with no effort.

“What are you doing?” You gasp out, dropping your forehead down onto the tray of the fridge and making the sample test tubes clink together dangerously.

He huffs a short laugh and pulls his head back to nip right at the juncture of your ass and thigh, making you jolt away from his mouth. “What, you don’t like it? Want me to stop?”

“No!” You blurt, reaching back to try and grab at his head to keep him in place.

He knocks your hand aside, but you can feel him laughing. “Get your head out of that goddamn fridge then, before I drag you out.”

You feel like staying inside the mini-fridge just on principle, but you can’t bear the thought of him pulling his mouth away from you. Not when he’s finally started to touch you, after so long of you yearning for it.

Slowly, you pull your head out. No sooner have you started to move then Quaritch uses his grip on your hips to pull you out. You let out a startled sound as his big hands grab at you and flip you, throwing you on your back in front of him. The display of casual strength is unexpected and very, very attractive, and your legs spread eagerly before he even moves to open them himself.

When you actually get a look at him, it nearly bowls you right over. His pupils are so blown that they’re swallowing his irises, leaving just a thin ring of gold around the edge. His ears are held high and alert, and his mouth is quirked in that infuriatingly cocky little grin right now.

Fuck, he’s just as horny as you are. The realisation is shocking.

“Fuck, all this for me, baby?” He asks, hooking his fingers into your panties and tugging them right off with no effort.

You don’t put up a single ounce of fight, arching your back with an excited gasp as you’re left exposed in front of him with your dress all hiked up around your waist.

He lets out a soft groan as he reaches a finger out and drags it through the folds of your cunt, clearly marvelling at the wetness that has collected there. That same finger slips inside of you and you moan, wanting more, wanting to roll up into it, wanting the ache inside of you filled to the brim.

“Look at you, kid, all sexed up like this.” He says, pulling that finger out and admiring the glistening slick on his hand.

“You’re just a-” You gasp, heaving for breath as you struggle to regain yourself. “A dirty old man!”

That makes him laugh, a low groan of a sound that makes your eye twitch. Holy fuck, does he like being called names?

“Oh yeah?” He rumbles, sounding delighted. He doesn’t wait for you to answer before he’s licking at you again.

He flattens his tongue and guides it up, sliding across your slit before enveloping your clit in his mouth and sucking. You’re arching into his mouth, breathlessly stuttering his name as your hips twitch. His hands on your hips are so big and so strong, holding you so firmly in place as his mouth devours you.

The flat of his tongue is rough and textured like a cat’s, and you let out a low gasping sound as it catches against your clit. Two of his fingers push into you as his tongue works over your clit, as thick and meaty as a well-hung cock. He must feel the flutter of your cunt around his fingers, because he growls low, his powerful form all but vibrating with tension.

Oh god, he’s so big. You had known that, of course, but it’s so different having him all up in your space like this, your legs thrown over the bulge of his biceps as his big head worms its way between your legs, licking insistently at you. The bulk of him is enormous, simmering sexuality about to boil over - it’s insanely arousing to you, the sheer energy of him sending your head spinning.

The onslaught of sensation from the wet heat of his mouth has your head dropping back to the floor, staring up at the ceiling as your eyes go wide. You’ve never felt anything like this before, and as much as you don’t want to give Quaritch the satisfaction of knowing that he affects you like this, you can't help the way your back bows as he licks and sucks at you.

He grins against you when he feels you shiver against his mouth. When your thighs clench closed around his head he groans softly against you. Embarrassed, your legs spring back apart, but Quaritch reaches up and grabs at your thighs to prevent them from spreading too wide.

“Squeeze if you want to.” He grunts, before devoting all his attention to licking and sucking at you once more. He tugs encouragingly at your thighs, and when you wrap them tentatively around his head he gives an appreciative little hum.

You shiver, chest heaving. When he wraps his lips around your clit and sucks, his textured tongue rasping over the bead of nerves, a strong white current washes over you and you arch into his mouth as you come.

You can’t speak, can’t think. The feeling is too overwhelming, too all-consuming before the come down eventually starts and words are coming out, your body shaking.

“Oh fuck, god – oh my god,” you sob, slapping your hand over your mouth, biting down at your palm. “Quaritch– please, shit.”

You jerk your hips up, partially in an attempt to escape from the relentless stroking of his rough tongue over your oversensitive clit, but Quaritch moves with them. He’s basically on his knees following your cunt like a dog as you try to twitch away, using his huge hands on your ass to keep you pulled tight against his mouth.

He goes on licking at your clit and the swollen puffiness of your cunt, and when the rough texture catching against your most sensitive spot gets too much for you, you have to push at his head. He pulls back just slightly, but then continues to lick at the insides of your thighs, as if to lap up every last glimmer of your slickness.

Your head rolls on your neck, all boneless and loose as you wheeze for breath. Jesus Christ, you’ve just come so hard you can’t feel your toes. Colonel Quaritch has just eaten your pussy so goddamn good that you nearly blacked out. What the fuck?

Your cunt is still pulsing with the aftershocks of your orgasm when you feel Quaritch’s big fingers pressing inside of you, testing the stretch and slickness.

“You never answered me,” He murmurs, his tone almost conversational despite the huskiness of his voice. “And I hate repeating myself. So tell me; could you take that dildo?”

“Yes,” You sob, twisting your body around as his thumb rolls over your too-sensitive clit. “Yes, I could take it.”

“Yeah?” He says and it comes out on a purr, the vibrations rumbling in between your legs. “Think you could take me?”

You hardly have any idea how you’ve gotten into this position, but you’ve been imagining this for months now. You’re not stupid enough to throw away this chance.

“Why don’t you come and see?” You breathe, leaning back and arching your back boldly. You can hardly believe your own bravery, but maybe your own horniness is just making you stupid.

But Quaritch laughs, as though he finds you stupidly amusing, and his hands drop to his belt. You watch with wide, eager eyes as he flicks open his cargos and pushes them down and oh! There it is.

You push yourself up to get a better look, mouth falling open a little bit as you get a look at his cock. It’s big and blue and ridged, just like the dildo, but you hardly think it’s fair to compare the two. Quaritch’s cock is real, and looks velvety soft to the touch with a prominent, purplish head. Opalescent precum is beading at the tip, tinged slightly blue and glowing a little bit, what the fuck? He’s so hard that it looks a little painful as it strains against his stomach, though he’s still grinning so slyly that you would never guess.

You want to touch, but you don’t get the chance. His big paws for hands close around your hips and flip you again so that you’re on your hands and knees once more – he seems to like you in this position, because his hands grope insistently at the soft flesh of your ass as he grinds his hips into yours, the thick hardness of his cock rutting against the inside of your thighs.

He’s rough with you by human standards, but never enough to hurt. Just enough to send a little thrill up your spine when he pulls your hips into his, the thick ridge of his cockhead beginning to prod at the entrance of your cunt. It’s hot and large, but your mind feels like liquid, too drunk on all the pleasure he’s given you so far to deny more.

You choke weakly, but you don’t try to wriggle away. You can do this, you can take him. He’s prepared you well, you’re relaxed and so wet, and you had managed to take that dildo inside you, if only for a brief time. You try to stop tensing and relax yourself as you take shaky breaths.

Quaritch pushes his cock in a little further, almost unbearably slow. You feel yourself being stretched open, small stings of pain shooting through you as you drop your forehead to the ground and grunt. One of his big thumbs strokes over the small of your back, the motion soothing and unexpectedly sweet as he slips another inch inside.

“Oh, fuck.” You squeak, eyes wide.

You can feel little bumps and ridges squeezing their way inside as he penetrates you, your lungs seizing up. Quiet cries and gasps fall out of your mouth as you adjust to the feeling of his cock filling you up. No human had ever given you this overwhelming sensation before, the feeling of being impossibly stretched open beyond belief. Not even that stupid goddamn dildo had come close to this.

Every time you think the length of his textured cock has finally ended, he’ll push a little more of himself in. You keep your eyes tightly closed as you continue panting heavily. He’s going incredibly slow too, careful and deliberate in his movements. You had stupidly thought that you would adjust quickly, but it feels as though you’re just barely hanging in there.

Then, finally, Quaritch pauses. It’s a mercy, because your breaths are coming in wheezing pants now as you clench up around his cock, tightening up around the intrusion in flutters. You must be tight to the point of causing pain, but he just lets out a rumbly sort of groan against your back. His hands tense around your middle, impossibly long fingers holding you in place.

Right as you begin to accept the size of him, he uses that grip on your waist to pull you away from his cock and then back down onto him again. It knocks the wind right out of you. You gulp wildly for air, soundlessly. You can’t even cry out, you’re so stunned.

“Fuck,” Quaritch moans. “Like wet velvet, honey. Well done.”

Before you can process or even think, Quaritch pulls out and then pushes back into you, again and again. Every bump drags against your walls and snags on every sensitive part of you. It feels like you had never been fucked before this, the sweet, dull pain and overwhelming sensations of Quaritch looming over your body ruining you.

He huffs and growls as he begins to thrust up into you, no longer slow and careful. Each time he pistons his hips, it’s powerful and keeps you from taking deep breaths. The way his body presses into yours, the way every part of you touches his burning skin, is intoxicating.

His need, his hunger borders on bestial. His wet breath condenses against your skin as he ruts into you fervently, destroying your thoughts. You’re totally at his mercy, whimpering pathetically and whining.

It’s all too much, his size, his pace, his sharp teeth nipping the back of your neck and shoulders. He’s like a wild animal, his hard cock burying itself inside you over and over again. It’s the first time that you really begin to appreciate that Quaritch isn’t human anymore – it extends far beyond his looks and into his behaviour and instincts as well. There’s no reprieve; you can only accept his intense pace.

Unbelievably, your abdomen is tensing again, reeling up tighter and tighter. You’re on the brink of coming again, but it feels like it’s impossible. You’ve never been so pleased by a partner before, hardly ever able to come at the hands of someone else, and you’ve never come so quickly twice in succession before. You feel like you’ll die if you come again, it was too much. Everything was too much.

“Come on, mama, let me see that back arch.” Quaritch mutters to you, his voice thick and growling as his big hand settles across your shoulderblades and pushes you down.

All you can do is obey, shivering as his big hand keeps your upper body pinned to the floor, his other hand using its grip on your waist to pull your ass up higher so that he can pound into you at a better angle.

“I’m going to-” You gasp, your thighs trembling as you sob against the floor. “Oh, god, oh fuck, oh shit, I’m going to-”

“Gonna cream on me?” Quaritch grunts, his pace taking the air out of you. “Go ahead, kid. Go on. This is what you’ve been wanting, isn’t it?”

His hips slam into your ass with every thrust, every drag of his cock working those ridges against the sensitive nerves inside of you. You can feel him twitch inside of you, a sure sign that he’s approaching his own release. The thought makes you moan as the strength behind his hips sends you skidding forward on every thrust before getting yanked back by his hands.

Your lashes are all clumped together from tears, your mouth hanging open stupidly – not only are his thrusts knocking the air from you, it feels as though they’re knocking the thoughts from you too. It feels as though he’s giving fucked stupid an entirely new meaning. Your entire world has narrowed down to the sensation of his cock rutting between your legs, his balls grinding against your clit. Your release is winding up in your belly, and you feel your eyes roll and toes curl as it approaches.

“You been watching me, wanting this. If I’d known what a little spitfire you were, maybe I would have given it to you sooner-”

He rocks into you, his pace now rough and deliberate as he claims you in short, fast strokes. Your little workroom is filled with the unmistakable sound of slapping flesh, his hips snapping against your ass with every feral grunt. He has you pinned so firmly beneath him, every thrust feeling as though it’s punching right up into your chest. It aches, and that ache spreads throughout your pelvis, your belly. It’s warm and sweet as syrup. It feels like he's going to break you in half. You think you might want him to break you in half.

“Look at you go.” Quaritch mumbles, seemingly to himself, and then you feel the broad expanse of his hand slap against the soft flesh of your ass. It seems like he just wants to watch it jiggle as he ruts you like an animal.

He leans forward, his sharp teeth grazing the shell of your ear as he murmurs to you.“This is what that limp-dicked bitch from earlier wanted with you, you know. Bet he imagined you just like this, all stretched out and wanting on that dildo he gave you. Little pervert. He wouldn’t know what to do with you. Think he’s outside listening? I bet all those cockless motherfuckers are listening right now, trying to imagine what you look like. Let them hear you, honey. Go on.”

It’s too much for you. Your elbows give out, your face smushing against the floor as Quaritch uses his grip on your hips to pull your ass back against him, his huge torso plastering itself against your back. His cock is spearing into you so deep that you feel as though you’re going to feel him inside you like this forever, feel the ghost of his cock plowing into you long after he’s gone. You feel every ridge, every vein, every throb.

“Oh god, oh fuck, shit, please!” You wheeze, shuddering as he fucks you into the floor. “I need to come, I need to come-”

You’re cut off from your babbling when one of Quaritch’s big, thick thumbs hooks into your mouth and presses down on your tongue. You moan, closing your eyes and sucking desperately at his stupid blue finger.

“Fuck, you’re hungry for it, ain’tcha.” Quaritch snickers, but he sounds breathless and a little disbelieving. “And here I was thinkin’ you were such a shy little thing.”

Just as suddenly as his finger had pushed its way into your mouth it’s removed, and you almost whine at the loss of it. But then, to your shock, you feel the spit-slick pad of his thumb stroking over the exposed rim of your asshole. He presses inside, the blunt thickness of his fat thumb wiggling inside as your whole body clenches around the intrusion hard.

With an overwhelmed scream, your entire body pulses like a heartbeat and your vision goes white. Your orgasm rocks through you like fire, as relentless and merciless as Quaritch’s rocking hips as he continues to fuck you through the quivers of your release.

“There you go,” He coos at you like you’re a goddamn animal. “Oh fuck, you needed this, didn’t you?”

Choked moans and hitched breaths bubble out of your mouth uncontrollably. It’s like he’s just been waiting for you to come, because now he loses that edge of controlled restraint that he’d managed to maintain. His thrusting is sloppy, uneven – he’s unmistakably nearing his own finish.

“That’s what I’m talkin’ about, darlin’.” He snarls. “Look at you gushin’ all over my cock.”

You yelp as he buries himself deep inside of you one last time, a rumbling snarl tearing its way out of his throat. You can feel the ridge of his pubic bone against your ass, his muscular thighs bracketing your own. He is rooted to the hilt, burrowing as far as possible, and you choke at the sensation of impossible fullness.

Quaritch hisses like an animal when he comes, and you squeal at the feeling of his hot come splashing inside of you then overflowing. It’s so hot that it feels as though it’s burning, but Quaritch just keeps going, the squelching shamefully loud in the quiet of the room.

Soon you’re forced to reach back and slap at his hip, gasping for breath and whimpering under the onslaught of his spent cock rubbing so insistently at your hypersensitive sex.

“Enough, fuck! Enough!” You wheeze, your forehead dropping down against the floor in surrender.

There’s a pause, and then Quaritch stops moving, his slowly softening cock buried deep inside and staying there. The heavy weight of him feels good, and you go lax on the floor as his big hands hold you up so lazily. Your chest is still heaving as you try to regulate your breathing, and Quaritch makes a couple of condescending cooing sounds to keep you quiet as he rolls you over beneath him.

“Ow, fuck.” You breathe when he pulls out of you, leaving you awfully empty and clenching around nothing as you feel the wet dribble of his come spill out of you.

He pauses, glances down at your cunt. You can imagine you look nothing short of ruined right now, but Quaritch seems to be immensely satisfied at whatever he sees. He chortles a soft laugh, and reaches down to stroke his fingers through the sticky mess he’s left between your legs.

Your head lolls on your shoulders as you swat at him, grumbling at the electric shiver that the oversensitivity sends through you. He just snickers at your weak attempt to smack his hands away, unphased, and closes his hands around your waist before bodily picking you up to hold you against his chest.

You groan, unhappy to be moved. “Jesus Christ, gimme a minute.”

He ignores you, snorting another quiet laugh before standing with you, unbothered by the way you hang limp in his arms as he carries you towards one of the desks. His breathing is slightly laboured, and he practically drops you on the surface of the desk as he reaches for the respirator that he seemed to have abandoned when he first came in. His determination to fuck you through atmosphere that he struggles to breathe in is admirable; the Na’vi may be able to breathe oxygenated air for up to an hour, but it can be a challenge and that’s without strenuous physical activity.

Still, you can’t help but snicker yourself.

“What's wrong, old man?” You crow at him, grinning as you lay splayed out and exhausted on the desk below him. “Out of breath?”

Quaritch takes deep breaths from the respirator, clearly trying to regulate his body again after so long without proper air, but he still manages to choke a faintly disbelieving laugh.

“You used to be so sweet.” He mutters, slapping lightly at your thigh. It’s not a harsh smack, just enough to have you jolting a little under him. “What the hell happened, huh?”

“You didn’t look twice at me when I was sweet.” You grumble, reaching down to push the skirt of your dress back down self-consciously. “So don’t go acting like you’re disappointed.”

Quaritch snorts. Respirator abandoned, he leans down and nips at your shoulder, grinning against your bared skin as you jerk and cry out ow, fuck.

“Mm, I like a bit of fire.” He mutters, allowing the respirator to hang down around his neck as he licks over the little bite mark he’s left. “But you’re wrong about me looking. I can’t say I didn’t like those little skirts.”

“Oh.” You breathe, starting to smile. “Okay.” A little flustered now, you start to push yourself up into a sitting position, embarrassed about your spread legs. “Um… where’s my underwear?”

Quaritch grunts as though he doesn’t care for the question in the least. “D’you need them?”

“Yes!”

That big, stupid smug grin again. You’d dearly love to smack it off his face, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t still send butterflies fluttering in your stomach. He doesn’t make any effort to seek out your lost panties, but you can’t be too irritated with him when he keeps nipping so insistently at the base of your neck, leaving hot twinges of pain-pleasure in the wake of his mouth.

“Asshole.” You say, though without any heat. Your eyes slide closed, enjoying his rough tongue against your collarbones. “Hey. You never told me why you came looking for me, anyway. Was it just to laugh at me?”

Finally, Quaritch raises his head. This close, you allow your eyes to trace over his face; his features are so alien, big and bold and more expressive than he intends. His ears twitch, and you fight back a smile at the sight. Sweet.

“Brought you more of that damned plant water.” He grunts. “It’s on your desk.”

Your eyes widen, and you immediately try to sit up, pushing roughly at his chest. “What?”

Quaritch allows you to push him away, though it’s not without an irritated sort of groan. Still though, he doesn’t look annoyed as he steps back to allow you to scramble off the counter he’s had you propped up on. If anything, his swishing tail reveals his sense of satisfaction.

Your knees nearly buckle when you hop down on the floor, but Quaritch’s enormous hand wraps around your elbow and keeps you upright. You don’t pause to try and regain your balance – you’re too busy trying to stagger over to your own messy workspace, your eyes wide and fixated on the sight of a sample beaker perched atop your desk.

“No way. No fucking way-!” You crow, your face splitting into an irrepressible grin. “Holy fuck!”

If possible, this sample is even bigger than the one that Wainfleet and Fike had smashed all over your notes. You take it in with disbelief, your hands reaching for it eagerly.

“A sample this size will let me do all the tests I need for my dissertation and more,” You breathe, awed. “I can- oh, wow. I’m going to finish my whole thesis. I’m going to get my motherfucking PhD.”

Quaritch’s mouth quirks, clearly amused by your foul mouth. He leans back against one of the spare desks just so he can watch you fuss over the sample he’s brought.

“Do I get something in return?” He asks, and you can feel his big golden eyes dropping down over the length of your legs. His gaze feels even more heated now, as though knowing exactly what’s under your dress has lit some sort of fire in him.

You snort, stepping over to the sample fridge with the beaker clasped very carefully in your hands.

“You certainly do not.” You say archly, hoping to maintain an aura of aloofness as you tug the fridge door open and place your precious sample carefully inside. “As far as I’m concerned, this sample can be considered reparations. If you bring me a sample of panopyra sensory tissue, however… then we can talk about rewards.”

You half wonder if maybe that was too bold, but Quaritch’s next chuckle holds an edge of heated delight. It seems like he wasn’t lying about liking a little fire. You’re so distracted by the careful tucking away of your sample that you jolt when you feel huge blue hands coming to land at your waist, tightening over your hipbones.

When he leans in to murmur in your ear, you shudder helplessly at the rumble of his chest.

“Sounds good to me, sweetheart,” He mumbles, a hand reaching to stroke boldly over the curve of your ass. “And maybe next time we can get going without you wearing this damn fridge as a hat.”

#no one look at me i'm so serious #miles quaritch #na'vi quaritch #quaritch x reader #recom quaritch #recom quaritch x reader #quaritch x human reader #avatar x reader #avatar way of water #awow #avatar 2 #na'vi x human #terato

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demonpiratehuntress · 1 year ago

Text

period pain

OPLA!Zoro x F!Reader

A/N: This is the Zoro period one-shot I mentioned in my previous post.

"Luffy, if you take a single thing off my plate I will stuff you in a fucking blender."

An inhuman growl left your lips as you shot a withering glare at your captain, pulling your plate closer to you. The younger boy looked taken aback by your threat, his hand retracting slowly in slight fear. Usopp and Sanji stared at you with their jaws dropped, Zoro raised an eyebrow, and Nami looked unfazed.

"What are you guys looking at?" You snapped, turning your glare on the rest of them.

They all looked away, mumbling apologies, except Zoro. You rolled your eyes, grumbling something about him being so stubborn and tough. He would have said something about it, but his feelings for you stopped him. He's seen you angry, but this was something else. And he'd rather not risk saying something regrettable to you while you were clearly bothered by something.

"(Name), can you please..." Usopp gulped, "Pass me the salt."

You practically threw the salt shaker in the poor guy's hands, your deathly glare not leaving your face. You ate your food aggressively, attacking it like it was the reason for your anger. The rest of the crew sat in silence, even Luffy not wanting to aggravate you more - and that was saying a lot. Nami was trying her hardest not to laugh, which confused the boys, who didn't understand why such a situation would be funny. But she knew what it was.

"You guys are idiots," she snorted when you'd left the table.

"And why's that?" Zoro asked, folding his arms over his chest. "Do you know what's wrong?"

"It's so obvious," she confirmed, then backtracked, "Oh, wait. You guys really don't know?"

Their blank, clueless expressions made Nami sigh.

A little while later, you hobbled into the kitchen for dinner. But this time you weren't mad, you were groaning and clutching your stomach tightly, earning concerned glances all around. But because of earlier, everyone was too afraid to say a word. Except Zoro.

"Go back to your room."

"W-what?" Your eyes widened, then glossed over with tears.

He instantly cursed himself and his monotonous voice. He hadn't meant it to sound harsh or anything, but from the way you looked at him he knew you had taken it the wrong way. And when the tears actually fell, guilt ripped through him and he felt an unusual pain in his chest.

"Zoro-" Nami started.

"No, it's okay," you said quietly, turning around, only to feel that familiar feeling of something wet down south.

"You're bleeding!"

Embarrassment washed through you and you instantly turned back around, trying to cover it, but the blood soaked the front of your shorts as well. You instantly regretted wearing such light-coloured shorts, but you hadn't expected your period for another two days. But now, seeing them all staring, you felt humiliated and ashamed, and the tears fell faster.

"Someone get her a damn blanket," Nami practically growled at the gobsmacked men, before coming over and helping you to the counter.

You refused to look at the green-haired swordsman, but you soon realised he was no longer in the room. You internally groaned, then began crying even more because you felt as if you had disgusted him. Nami tried to comfort you, but you barely heard her as you felt the sadness of impending rejection mixing with your already unstable emotions.

What happened next was beyond anything you could have imagined.

You felt a blanket being draped across your shoulders, seconds before you were lifted into a pair of familiar, strong arms. You quickly covered your tear-stained face with the blanket, not wanting to meet his eyes as he carried you to your room.

"Don't do that."

"What?" You choked out, your voice still weak and soft.

"Don't hide," Zoro clarified. "I want to see your face."

"Why?" You slowly removed the blanket from your face.

"You're pretty."

Your heart hammered in your chest when you heard that, sadness immediately dissipating. You couldn't believe what you had just heard, but it made your heart swell knowing he really thought that. You felt your cheeks heat up, and the familiar feeling of butterflies that you always got around him.

"I'm crying. And bleeding."

"Nami told us what's wrong," he looked down at you, and his eyes gleamed with concern, "It's natural."

Before you could say anything else, he set you down. In a hammock. With a start, you realised he'd brought you to his room instead. You opened your mouth to say something, but he was already walking away to his closet. Your words died in your throat when he pulled out his own clothes and offered them to you.

"Change. I'll wait outside."

He started towards the door, but you stopped him, sniffing, "Thank you."

He felt his own heart swell when he saw how happy his actions had made you, and it sparked some hope in him that maybe you felt the same way. Not knowing what to say, and also wanting to hide his oncoming blush, he just nodded and quickly exited to let you change. You looked down at his clothes, your own blush dusting your cheeks. As you changed into them, you realised you'd need underwear.

"Z-Zoro?" You called, blushing harder.

He was in the room in less than a second, his eyes widening when he saw you pants-less but with the blanket covering your lower half. He coughed, trying hard not to blush, "Yeah?"

"I need...underwear," you said quietly, feeling more embarrassment come on.

"Oh."

You started to get up, thinking you'd rather get it yourself since he was clearly uncomfortable, but he stopped you, "Stay. I'll ask Nami to bring it for you." Then he reached down to grab your bloodstained clothes, and your eyes widened.

"No! You don't have to-"

"(Name)," he sighed, looking up at you, "Shut up and let me take care of you."

You would have probably burst into tears again if anyone else had told you to shut up, but the words that followed it were enough to comfort you and make you relax back into the hammock. You bit your lip, flustered and embarrassed but feeling much better already knowing he was going to - and he wanted to - take care of you.

A while later, you were dressed in his clothes and relaxing in his hammock, your heart thundering as you looked around his room. He hadn't decorated, being the simple man he was, but just the fact that it was his brought you more comfort. You felt calmer here, like the room itself was reducing your stress and pain. Your cramps had subsided, but that was because of the hot soup that Zoro had brought you which he had aggressively demanded Sanji make. The man in question had disappeared somewhere, but came in just as you were starting to wonder where.

"How you feeling?"

"Better," you admitted. "Thanks to you."

He sat down next to you on a chair he'd brought in, "Stop thanking me."

"But-" You were cut off by another wave of cramps, groaning loudly and curling up into a ball.

He shot up again, "What? What's wrong?"

"More...cramps..." You managed to get out, whining and whimpering in pain.

"Should I get more soup?"

"N-No, just..." You blushed at the idea you had, wondering if he would really do it. "Could you...maybe lie down with me?"

Instantly his cheeks warmed up. Unlike many people would think, Zoro was easily flustered by requests like that coming from you. He'd long dreamed of laying with you in his hammock, you on his chest with his arms around you, but he hadn't ever expected it to really happen. His heart was beating faster than it usually did, as always when he was around you, but he happily obliged despite his nervousness in doing so. You shifted to give him space, letting him slip onto the hammock beside you.

"You might not be comfortable with it, and it's totally okay if you, arent, but-" You groaned in pain, then continued, "Can you please put your hand here?" You placed a hand over the spot, and he almost choked on air when he realised how far down it was. You saw his expression, and your eyes widened, "I-I'm sorry, you don't-"

His warm hand settled over that spot before you finished, "I want to help."

You blushed, "Well...your hand might help better inside."

His eyes widened, but he slowly slipped his hand in and settled it over that same spot, and was about to ask if that was right when he looked at your face and saw you visibly relax. That gave him his answer. When he started rubbing slowly, the pained look on your face completely disappeared.

"That feels really good."

He smiled, then guided your head to his chest as he slowly relaxed as well. You closed your eyes, mumbling something about how you never knew such peace existed during your period. Another unusual bout of pride swelled in his chest, knowing he could help without words, because those were not his strong suit.

"Can I kiss you?"

He was surprised to hear you ask, and looked down to see your eyes on his lips. He leaned in without saying anything and captured your lips with his own, kissing you slowly and softly. The kiss was much gentler than you expected it to be, but you weren't complaining because his lips were soft and warm, and you leaned into him even more, deepening the kiss. The butterflies in your stomach fluttered around wildly, but this time you didn't try to calm them because you loved the way he made you feel. He pulled away too soon, but pressed a soft kiss to your forehead.

"You should sleep. You look tired."

"I am tired," you complained, "But I don't want to sleep. What if I wake up and you're gone? And I'm in my own bed, and this was all a dream?"

He chuckled, finding it adorable how sleepy you sounded, "I promise I'll be here when you wake up. You and I are both staying right here."

"Okay."

That 'okay' was so innocent and childlike, making you much cuter to him. You yawned once, before closing your eyes again and getting comfortable on his broad chest. He held you close, and you fell asleep knowing you had the best caretaker watching over you.

#zoro x reader #one piece live action #opla #opla zoro #roronoa zoro #opla zoro x reader

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hugmekenobi · 3 months ago

Text

Forever

A Bad Batch Post S3 Oneshot

Gif by @barissoffee

Hunter x femaleJedi!reader

Summary: Just when you think your fresh start can officially begin, the past still finds a way to haunt you

Warnings: No (Y/N), me adding one actual personal characteristic (sorry if you aren't arachnophobic), reader has hair long enough to hold, light PDA (kissing), mentions of scars, SMUT (shower sex with non-explicit descriptions of oral m&f receiving, handjob, fingering, making out, dirty talk,hints of praise kink), suggestive dialogue, reader wears a sundress, swearing, hints of Tech/Phee, just stick with me on the Lyra explanation please, mentions of food and drinks/alcohol, drink and general tampering for the sake of poisoning, me making up medical things, descriptions of illness (vomiting, fever, bodily pain), mentions of medical testing/needles and injections, concerned bad batch family, brief dark/protective Hunter, injury (cuts, blaster shots, broken nose/nosebleeds) and torture descriptions with further mentions of pain and blood, a certain lizard makes an unwelcomed appearance, big on the overall fluff and loving vibes but also big on angst and hurt/comfort, references to death and torture, near-character death, fluff and happy ending don't worry

<Previous Oneshot (not totally necessary to read but helpful for build up)

Masterlist for S1,S2 and S3

Word Count: 24.9K (don't look at me lol)

Rating: 18+

Author's note: This is a crazy ride jam-packed with fav tropes of mine, so I can only apologise for the emotional whiplash, but blame my dream because that is where this entire concept came from! Hope it was worth the wait!

The day of the party everyone had been eager awaiting had finally arrived. It was being done in your and the rest of the Batch’s honour and was serving as a combined official welcome to Pabu/congratulations on making it through everything alive type of thing but regardless of the slightly elaborate purpose, the island was all a buzz with excitement and preparations.

You and Hunter were meandering away from the busy colonnade. Your offer to help with the last of the party set up had been politely declined so instead the two of you had opted to join the others at the beach.

“Hey!”

You turned in surprise at the familiar voice and you saw the woman running off her ship and towards you. “Oh hey! What-” Your question was cut off with a huff of air as you were brought into a tight hug.

“Let me see-” Lyra stepped back from you and grabbed your hands excitedly but stopped short as she held them.

“See what?” You looked at her, utterly perplexed by her behaviour.

Hunter resisted the urge to clamp his hand over Lyra’s mouth but there’d be no believable way to explain that away, so he just had to stand there and cross his fingers that you didn’t pressure Lyra for further elaboration.

Lyra realised her mistake and backtracked quickly. “You. Let me see you. It’s been far too long.” She dropped your hands and just walked around you, analysing your form. “Yup, I still got it. Both of you are looking pretty sharp in my stuff if I do say so myself. So, I bet the rest of your lot do to.”

“Stop that.” You twisted your head around and waved her away with a fond yet bemused grin. “Why are you acting so weird? Better yet why are you here? Not that I’m not happy to see you.” You added hastily but you were a second too late.

Lyra placed her hand over her heart in faux offence. “Wow, months with no word and then only sporadic comm channel conversations and this is how I’m greeted? I told you I would visit. Speaking of, I brought more samples of my work.” She gestured to the two cases by her feet. “Top one is yours, the second is to be divided between the rest of your crew. But to answer your question, I’m here for the party.”

You titled your head at her. Your last call had been before the party had been decided so you didn’t know how she knew about it. “The party? Who invited you?” You asked quizzically.

Lyra shot a nervous glance to the man at your side. She’d already almost blown it; she didn’t want to risk doing it again. “Uh, Hunter did actually.”

You glanced at Hunter curiously. “You did?”

Hunter maintained a sense of calm as he answered, “Well, technically it was through Echo, but I put them in contact. Also, a lot of people were asking about our clothes. Figured it couldn’t hurt to see if Shep needed someone like her here. Today felt like the perfect time.” That part was a genuine truth. He hadn’t thought much of the situation on Christophsis in the short time he’d been there- well, what he had thought wasn’t in any way positive-, and you’d always expressed interest in figuring out a way to get Lyra out of there and somewhere better. He was killing two birds with one stone here.

“Yeah, a party and a job opportunity away from Imperial bullshit was too good to pass up.” Lyra confirmed with a grin.

You smiled broadly. “Oh okay! That’d be pretty great actually! So, Christophsis hasn’t improved since I left?”

“Just kept getting worse.” Lyra said plainly. “Got decent enough business to buy that condemned ship but it’s still pretty awful there. I definitely would not miss it.”

You shot her a sympathetic look before you clapped your hands together, “Well, I better go get Shep and officially introduce you two!” You wandered away to go find the man that was busying about the area making sure things were on schedule for tonight.

Hunter waited until you were out of earshot. He placed his hands on his hips and stared at Lyra. “That was subtle.” He deadpanned.

Lyra cringed. “I’m sorry! The transmission from Echo was pretty dodgy. I couldn’t quite hear him. I just heard ‘Hunter, party, Pabu’ so I though this party was to celebrate what had happened, not as a lead up to what’s going to happen.”

Hunter heaved a weary, stressed sigh. This was beginning to become the best yet somehow worst kept secret on Pabu. He was just grateful that the one person who he really didn’t want to know still appeared to have no idea. How that was possible, he really didn’t understand since it seemed to have spread from the need-to-know people to what felt like every citizen of the island, but he didn’t want to question it too much in case he jinxed it. Each time he passed someone by, and they shot him that knowing smile, he felt a flare of panic that you would notice and start to question him but so far, you just took it as standard practice from the naturally friendly disposition of the people here. He was almost there, he just needed everyone around him to keep it together. He straightened up and signalled to Lyra to act natural as you approached them once more.

“Lyra, this is Shep. The best mayor of Pabu and overall, pretty incredible man. Shep, this is my friend Lyra.”

“Nice to meet you.” Lyra stuck her hand out with a friendly grin and nodded to you. “She’s always spoken highly of you.”

“We’ve all grown very fond of her and the rest of the family.” Shep smiled and shook her hand in return. “It’s nice to officially meet you too! You’re joining us for our little shindig? And Hunter also tells me you’re looking to live and employ yourself here?”

“Yup! Can’t keep me from a good party. And yes, if you have the space for me, I’d love to talk to you about it more!” Lyra said cheerily. “Anything I can do to help with setting up in the meantime?”

“I’m sure there’s something. It always gets chaotic in the final stages.” Shep said, sweeping his arm in front of him to guide her in the direction he was going.

“Hang on, you said-” You started to argue.

“Go enjoy your day, we’ll see you later tonight!” Shep said dismissively.

“Your cases!” Hunter called after the fading figures.

“They’re yours!” Lyra tossed over her shoulder. “Although, I’d wait until you’re alone to open yours!” She said to you specifically.

You let out a small groan. Your mind immediately entered panic mode and started jumping between every experimental or bold combination of clothing that she felt the need to put you in. She’d been on point so far, but you knew there had to be a catch at some point.

“We can take a slight detour before heading to the beach, right? It’s only a couple minutes out the way.” Hunter double checked with you.

“Yeah def-” You didn’t even get a chance to finish your sentence or pick up a box before someone swept in and addressed Hunter.

“Don’t worry, Hunter. I’m heading past your house anyway to grab some supplies we need up here. I can drop them off. You guys can carry on with your day.”

“Thanks Kyan.” Hunter said as the fisherman picked up the boxes.

“Yes, thank you so much!” You echoed as he left. “Why is everyone being so nice?” You mused as you saw him head in the direction of your home. “We’re basically passing our house anyway; we could’ve done it.”

“They’re always nice here.” Hunter said nonchalantly, hoping you wouldn’t sense his nerves increasing. He snaked an arm around your waist and guided you down the winding path.

“I guess.” You mirrored his gesture as you strolled towards the beach. “This just feels different, like they all know something we don’t.”

“I wouldn’t think too much about it.” Hunter advised. Two more hours. Only two more hours to go before the secret would finally be out in the open.

You and Hunter stood on an outcrop of rocks just overlooking the sea and you called over to the group of people and dog sitting on the beach. “How was the swim?”

“Amazing! You really should go for one too. The water is so nice!” Omega encouraged as she lounged on a towel, letting the warm sun dry her off. Her and Batcher had been the only one to actually enter the water, the others had only decided to get their feet wet.

“I’m good. We don’t have long before the party and I’d rather-” You sensed the threat a second to late. With a yelp, you were shoved over the edge and entered the water with a splash.

You came to the surface to the sounds of laughter from the bystanders on the beach- even the dog was barking in a way that sounded like a laugh. You glared up at the clone staring down at you with a smug grin on his face. “You mother-”

“So… how’s the water?” Hunter taunted.

Two could play this game. “Yeah, it’s great actually, you’re really missing out.” With that, you raised your hand and with a tug of the Force, Hunter swiftly tumbled into the water too.

His aggrieved shout before he hit the water was music to your ears.

“Okay, I should’ve seen that coming.” Hunter admitted through a short series of coughs as he reappeared from below the depths.

Your plan of revenge had instantly backfired given just how perfect he looked right now. Your breath hitched as you saw the way his wet hair fell around his shoulders and framed his profile as well as the way droplets of water dripped down his face. He was a sight to behold. You reached up and stroked some of his damp fringe just behind his bandana. You’re beautiful.

Hunter gulped at the compliment. It had never been a word he’d apply to himself; he didn’t really view himself in that light, it was only ever you. Yet you said it to him with such sincere feeling, he knew you meant it.

You kissed him softly before you made to swim for shore, but you didn’t get very far.

In one short stroke, Hunter reached you and kissed you fiercely.

You tangled your fingers in his damp locks with a pleasure filled sigh as you matched his strokes.

Hunter could taste the salt on your lips, and he could feel the way your body pressed against him as you grew more eager, it only spurred him on further.

The few disgruntled and offended shouts as well as a ship flying overhead caused you both to hastily pull apart.

“It’s Echo!” Omega yelled happily, wriggling out of the protective hand Wrecker had placed over her eyes- it wasn’t like she had no idea what was going on. Not waiting on the rest of them, she and Batcher dashed back towards where his ship was going to land.

“Um, so-” Hunter began awkwardly. He used to be more careful about the public displays of affection, especially around his family, but it would appear that feeling free, relaxed and in love could be quite a distraction when it wanted to be.

Should everything go to plan, they were taking her anyway, but the confirmation felt necessary. “Yes, we’ll take her tonight.” Crosshair said, shaking his head in the direction of the two of you but a smile was on his face.

“Ha! The gang’s all back!” Wrecker cheered, slapping Tech’s shoulder as he, Tech and Crosshair followed the young girl. “I can’t wait for this thing to get started!”

“Yes, this party should be quite the reunion.” Tech remarked simply as he walked and finished making the finishing touches to the repairs to his goggles.

“Echo’s taking a break from the clone rebellion for a party?” You furrowed your brow as you reached the sand and half-heartedly wrung out the edges of your top.

Hunter shrugged as he wiped some water off his face. The fact that his brother was indeed making an appearance meant a lot, but he couldn’t very well act like that in front of you. “It’s supposed to be quite the party.”

You huffed out a laugh. “Right.”

“Plus, he was right there with us, so it be a shame if he didn’t make an appearance.”

You inclined your head in acceptance of that. You then took proper notice of the way his soaked clothes clung to his toned body, emphasising very muscle. Despite the chill of the water, your blood ran hot as intense longing overcame you. You turned away from him and attempted to regain control of yourself.

Hunter noticed the way you swiftly stopped looking at him and he knew you were fighting to regain control the same way he was but, quite frankly, he didn’t want to. He came up behind you and draped his arms around your front.

You exhaled happily and leaned back against him.

“How about a shower?” He crooned in your ear as he brushed his lips just behind your ear.

You nodded dumbly as he gently nipped at your earlobe. Control was overrated.

You let out a squeal as the door you were pressed up against opened suddenly and you stumbled backwards- if it weren’t for the strong hands gripping your hips, you would’ve fallen straight down. Your kisses with Hunter were a passionate and frenzied mess of tongue and teeth as he backed you down the hallway, muscle memory guiding the way since neither of you wanted to pull apart, not even to catch your breath.

A trail of wet clothes marked the way through to the refresher.

A gasp left your mouth as the first cold spray of water hit you, a gasp that Hunter took full advantage off as he kissed you deeply, swallowing your groans of pleasure.

The water soon turned warm, but goosebumps still graced your skin as you were pushed up against the cool wall tiles. You leaned your head back as Hunter removed his lips from yours and began biting and kissing along your neck. “W-wait.” You managed to say breathlessly. He had always been the one to cater to your needs and you wanted nothing more than to be the one to do that for him first. He so rarely put himself first both in everyday life and in this particular regard and it was something you wanted to change.

Hunter immediately stopped and braced his hands on either side of your head, his breathing heavy as he waited until you were comfortable to carry on. Or not.

You nearly lost it at the sight of the man in front of you. Beautiful had been an understatement. He looked positively ethereal as his hair was wet and loose around his shoulders, the pieces of fringe at the front just demanding your touch. Water cascaded down his toned back and his usual caring brown eyes were nearly black with lust yet there was a slight crinkle in his brow to indicate that he was happy to wait until he knew you were okay with proceeding which only added to your desire. You inhaled deeply and pressed a seductive kiss to his mouth before you trailed your lips down his neck, kissing the hollow of his throat. You then gently pushed him away from you in order to change positions, so that he was the one against the tiles now.

Hunter looked at you questioningly but any words he was about to speak became a hoarse groan as he felt you reach down and wrap your hand around him. He tipped his head back against the tiles as you moved your hand.

You ignored the feeling of the water on your back and fixed your focus entirely on him as you kept your touches teasing, relishing each groan that left his throat. Look at me.

Hunter was all too willing to follow your instructions, but he saw you getting ready to kneel and he caught your elbow. He swallowed harshly as he rasped through the haze of pleasure you were granting him, “Y-you don’t have to. L- let me-”

You shook your head to silence his protests and paused what you were currently doing. You pressed soft, doting kisses up his thighs, before making your way up his ribs and affectionately kissing the jagged scar left by the wild reeks all those years ago and then you carried on downwards once more as you formed a path of kisses to his abdomen before you moved lower still.

“You’re always the one to give. I want you to take.” You encouraged as you licked a slow, sensual stripe along the length of him.

Hunter’s head fell back against the shower wall and a choked moan left his throat.

You stopped and tutted. You rose to your full height and grabbed the back of his neck, so he was forced to look at you once more. You needed him to watch so he knew just how much you wanted to do this for him. Keep your eyes on me. Do you think you can manage that?

Hunter just about managed to nod. He was utterly enraptured by the sight of you. Your eyes were bright and laced with longing, your heavy breaths came from lips already swollen from the kisses you’d shared and there was an overall desire that radiated from you that he was completely captivated by.

You smirked and kissed him deeply. Good boy.

“Fuck.” Hunter breathed as he watched you go to your knees once more but even as you nodded up at him, he still found himself not wanting to take full advantage of the situation. He sought purchase against the shower walls as he fought with the primal urge within him to do what you were asking of him.

This particular scenario that you were invoking was new territory for him- you knew he would still be hesitant- so you began with that you knew would make him lose his mind and remove all doubt from his brain. You needed him to stop overthinking it and to stop being concerned with your pleasure needs for the moment.

You needed him only thinking about himself and the pleasure he wanted from you.

With his eyes still looking at you, Hunter’s hands slipped against the slick tiles as he fought against the impulse to tangle his fingers in your wet hair as each frustratingly slow and light touch had him losing his mind. Your name left his mouth in a cracked whisper as he pleaded, “P-please.”

Please what? You replied innocently. You looked up at him as you carried on, keeping your pace slow and your ministrations featherlight.

The alluring glint in your eyes had him swallowing hard as he searched for his voice. “I need- fuck- I need more…” He made a move to drop one of his hands but stopped. “Sweetheart, I-”

You only need to take. You reminded as you placed light kisses along him.

At your words and as the instinctual need for release finally took over, Hunter found himself fisting your hair and guiding your mouth down the length of him.

You groaned appreciatively at the action.

Hunter released a choked gasp as the vibrations from your throat only added to the sensation that he was getting utterly lost in. And he was continuing to follow your instructions and he could understand why you’d laid them out. Watching your eyes flutter shut in pleasure as you accepted him made him close to finishing right then and there and he had gain control quickly or this would be over too soon.

You were compliant to his every move, making sure every response you gave him was what he wanted. His own moans and the broken praise emitting from his lips for you as he grew more and more caught up in finding gratification drove you on as he claimed your throat in the way you had been waiting for him to do.

His gruff sighs made your own simmering arousal burn red hot in your veins.

This was exactly what you wanted.

You wanted him incoherent.

You wanted him to let go.

You wanted him to focus on himself.

The release Hunter was chasing arrived faster than he’d anticipated but he couldn’t bring himself to pull away from you. you felt too good. The best he could do was attempt a hoarse, stammered warning, “I’m gonna- oh fuck-” He kept looking at you and a new longing took a hold of him, the one he had before this began. “I want to taste y– I need to tou- fuck you’re doing so well-” But he still couldn’t stop despite him meaning the words he was blabbering. “I’m- wait-”

You already knew he was nearing his climax by the way his hips stuttered but you didn’t want him to hold back. You clasped his free hand in encouragement and kept yourself right where you were. It’s okay, I want it.

That was all he needed. With a loud and hoarse shout, Hunter reached that sweet moment of ecstasy.

You stayed strong, only stopping when he demandingly pulled you to your feet and before you could even process what had happened, your back was to the shower wall once more, Hunter’s body pressed tight up against yours as his lips crashed into yours.

Hunter could taste the remnants of his release on your tongue, and it prompted him to hold the hinge of your jaw to tip your head back as he licked into your mouth. A deep growl sounding from him as he did so.

You welcomed his kiss and matched his intensity as you pawed at his muscled back as if you could somehow remove every inch of offensive space between you.

Hunter finally pulled away for air, but he raised your arms above your head and pressed your wrists into the wall.

It was hard to imagine that not 30 seconds ago, you had reduced this man to a tongue-tied, purely desire driven mess. Yet now the positions had rapidly switched.

Hunter licked the water away from your neck, smiling against your skin as he felt your pulse quicken at the action. He kept one hand entrapping your wrists, but he slowly brought his other hand down, his fingertips steadily descending down your arm. “Do you know why I so rarely let you do that for me?”

You shook your head; you didn’t trust that actual words would exit your lips. Goosebumps graced your body at his touch.

“Because as talented as you are at that and as grateful as I am for you allowing me to do that…” He nuzzled his nose against the side of yours before he kissed the corner of your mouth, pulling away ever so slightly as you turned your head to kiss him properly.

The roguish, teasing grin on his face made your breath catch in your throat. Your desire grew more intense as his already low, smoky voice somehow went an octave lower and his seductive words sounded more like a deep growl as he spoke to you, and it made you weak at the knees. Your chest heaved as each yearning breath left your lungs as you watched him.

He caressed your cheek. “There’s something else that also brings me that much pleasure…” He kissed along your jaw before he carried on with his plan.

You could only observe him, the sight of his lust-fuelled gaze and the way he was suddenly so in control made your want for him burn that much hotter.

Hunter then rested his hand just at the hollow of your throat, feeling a shuddering breath leave you as you swallowed, he glanced up at your face which was watching him with both heightened curiosity and desperation as you waited for him to touch you were he knew you needed him to.

He trailed his fingers sensually down the rest of your torso before moving them tenderly up the inside of your thighs, a hint of delight flowing through him as he already felt how ready you were for him already and it was all from what had just transpired– he was yet to do anything. “Because when I touch you here…” He murmured as he ever so slightly rubbed that sensitive spot between your legs, delighting in the gasp that sounded from your lips. “I can watch you fall apart…”

A whimper sounded from your throat.

“And when I kiss you here…” He stopped his movements for the most part, instead just tenderly rubbing faint circles with his thumb as he mouthed his way down your body.

Your breathing was leaving you in short, sharp pants.

“I can watch you fall apart on my tongue.” With that, he lifted your leg onto his shoulder before his mouth joined where his fingers were. An eager moan came from his own lips as he finally got to taste you and for the moment, he wanted to savour this. You were a craving- an addiction- that he couldn’t get enough of. He was in no rush, and he draw this out for as long as you both could handle it.

His name fell from your lips through a raspy groan. He knew your body so damn well and that was both a blessing and a curse. He was barely giving you enough to gain any form of satisfaction but yet it was just enough to drive you crazy with need. You scrambled for a grip on the slippery tiles as desperate cries sounded from you. One hand fumbled against the small shelf as a particularly wicked curl of his fingers made a jolt of pleasure rush through you and various shower supplies came tumbling down with an unnecessarily loud crash but neither of you paid them any attention, instead you merely clamped that hand over your mouth to quiet yourself.

“You know I want to hear you, sweetheart.” Hunter crooned as he stopped what he was doing. The demand needed to be met before he would continue.

You nodded, through a pleasure induced daze as you removed your hand. You had to keep reminding yourself that you had a place of your own now and you could be as free as you wanted to be, there was no risk of being overheard or interrupted but it was a habit that was still proving difficult to break.

As he finally showed willing to bring you closer to the point of release, your mewls of pleasure left you without restraint.

Hunter hummed out his approval as he put his mouth back on you and began moving his fingers once more, and this time, he wasn’t drawing anything out.

He wanted to watch you come.

He angled his eyes up as he found that spot that he knew would have you finding your release in no time. He let out his own appreciative sigh as he saw the way your eyes flickered shut, as he saw the way your brow furrowed, and your lips parted in sweet relief as those special breathy sighs exited from them, signally that you were close.

You arched your back as you went tumbling towards that blissful climax and you finished with a strangled groan, your hands tangling in Hunter’s soaked hair to ground yourself as he worked you through it.

Hunter made sure you were back to being steady on your feet before he prompted you to face the wall so he could press loving, accepting kisses to the scars on your back. “I love you... so much.” He nearly found himself following that up with the question, but he stopped himself. Too much had been planned and he knew exactly how he wanted to do it. He wasn’t about to ruin it with getting too caught up in this wonderful moment.

“I love you too.” You replied softly.

Hunter placed one last kiss between your shoulder blades before he gathered up the fallen shower products that had scattered around his feet.

You braced your forehead on the cool tiles to gather yourself once more. For a moment the only sounds were the steady of jets of shower water and Hunter placing the items back on their shelf,

“Okay… so… now we need to do the actual showering part.” You said breathlessly as you finally turned around and brushed back his fringe pieces.

Hunter chuckled and nodded his agreement. “We have a party to get to after all.”

“Hey, I have a question.” You asked casually as you appreciatively watched Hunter get dressed. You had made no such moves yet and were instead lounging on your bed still in your bathrobe.

“What’s that?” Hunter asked as he finished buttoning his shirt.

“How important is it that we attend this party?”

A wave of panic hit him, and he had to rely on old training to keep his voice steady. “Is everything okay?” Even with his fast-acting composure, he could tell his voice was strained but if you noticed, you didn’t call on it since you carried on as normal in your response.

“Well, no. After that display in the shower, I find myself not quite wanting to be so social.”

Hunter held back his sigh of relief. This was something he could handle just fine. It wasn’t your fault that you were looking to cause a bit of trouble, he was just glad that there wasn’t a more serious reason to your original question because that would make the rest of this evening rather tricky. “Given the fact that they’re having it in our honour, I’d say it’s pretty important that we go.”

You shuffled to the end of the bed and sat up. You caught his hand as he walked by you. “But there are five other honouree people that are going…”

“Sweetheart…” He really had to figure out how to navigate this without giving anything away.

“Now let’s see…” You feigned pondering as you went through the options in your head and rubbed your thumb along his hand. “We’ve already done the bed, the shower, the table, the couch and the counter…”

Hunter’s attempt at swallowing was interrupted as various memories flashed through his head, some highlights being your thighs wrapped around his head, you straddling his lap and his handprints imprinting on the glass of the kitchen cabinets. It was true that he had been rather insatiable lately and you had been all too willing and happy to match his enthusiasm but now was the time for self-control. He released a choked cough as he attempted to steady himself.

“But I don’t believe we’ve done a wall yet...” You said coyly as you started to pull down the arm of your bathrobe to expose more of your clavicle. You also spread your legs a little wider, so the fabric hitched up your thighs as you nodded to the dresser behind him. “Or the bureau…”

Hunter released a guttural, unrestrained groan before he kissed you. Hard. But just as you threaded your fingers in his hair and made to pull him on top of you, he found himself once more. He had to act now, or he’d never want to leave here. He stepped away and stopped your hand that was continuing to lower the shoulder of your robe, but he couldn’t help but notice the few remaining water droplets on your neck that were calling to be kissed away.

“Hunter…” You pretended to pout as you gently yanked on the loose ends of his shirt, so he was forced to come and stand between your legs.

Hunter pushed down on your shoulders and your arms above your head. “Go.” A chaste kiss to your lips. “Get.” Another quick kiss. “Dressed.” He placed one final brief kiss to your mouth before he readjusted the shoulder of your dressing gown.

“The robe has to come off to do that though.” You whispered as you placed a tender kiss to his mouth.

Hunter huffed out a laugh as he stood tall once more. He quickly walked out the room before you had the chance to accidentally ruin everything he had put together. “Don’t take too long!” He called back to you.

You released a heavy, grounding sigh before you sat up and hopped off the bed and your eyes caught sight of the case. With apprehensive curiosity, you strolled over to the new package that Lyra had gifted you, bracing yourself for what was going to be revealed.

You unclasped the lock, but you were pleasantly surprised by what was inside. It was a variety of sundresses, each one a similar design but in a variety of colours. They were a new thing for you to try but you figured a party could call for doing something different, plus you couldn’t wait to see Hunter’s reaction to something like this.

You picked out a red dress and was unsurprised to see that it fit you just right. You had a rummage through the rest of the box to see if there was anything else or if it was just those dresses, but you regretted that immediately.

A horrified, strangled breath left you as you saw the three sets of lace lingerie. A red, a black and a white set were all folded neatly at the bottom of the box. You held up the red set and recognised the design immediately. You muttered a series of curse words to yourself before your eyes caught sight of a small black silk bag and the items in there left you frozen in shock. This was something you would have to keep well hidden. You slammed the lid shut and shoved it to the back of the shared closest.

You quietly walked down the short hallway towards the front room which served as an open planned area with a kitchen and living space. You leaned against the wall and a smile graced your face as you watched the domestic scene with fond affection- Hunter had just finished gathering and hanging up your sodden beach clothes and was proceeding to put away some dry dishes. It made your heart soar that he had settled into the domesticity of the island and the routine here so well, it made making a life with him here all the more appealing.

As much as you enjoyed watching him, and as much as you would enjoy just staying in, you knew he wanted to go to the party, and you knew you would have a good time once you were there. You just wanted a little bit more fun first. “Zip me up?”

Hunter half-turned from where he was putting away a plate, but he forgot how to both breathe and operate as a functioning human as he saw you. The dish slipped out of his hands and smashed against the ground.

You smirked. That had gone even better than you’d expected. “Hmm, that’s an interesting technique. Sure, it saves space but I’m not sure how sustainable it is in the long run.”

Hunter struggled to find his voice. He bent down to gather the broken pieces and throw them away to try to buy himself some recovery time, but it didn’t help. All he could do was stare at you. The red sundress you were wearing complimented you perfectly and it showed off your body to the best degree. You were, to put it mildly, simply stunning and suddenly, his entire operation for this evening didn’t seem that important anymore.

You whistled and waved your hand in an attempt to bring his attention back. “Hey, Hunter, my zip?” With that, you turned around and waited.

Hunter wasn’t sure how he willed his feet to move but he soon found himself behind you.

His knuckles grazed your skin as he slowly brought the zip up your body and attached the small clasp at the top. His jaw was clenched tight as he caught a whiff of the body wash and lotion you had used, and it was getting harder and harder to find the willpower to step away from you. He had a plan. He’d had this plan for weeks yet one look at you in this dress and he was seriously considering throwing it all out the window and to hell with the consequences of it. “You look beautiful.” He said through a deep exhale. Just one more hour. He only had to make it one more hour.

“Thank you.” You said quietly as you too worked on calming yourself.

You turned to face him. “You look pretty good too.” You complimented as you gave him an appraising look up and down– in your attempts to distract him, you’d failed to properly take him in before. He wasn’t quite wearing a suit- it would be too hot for that tonight- but the lightweight formal black button-down shirt and matching black bottoms fit his frame handsomely, and to make himself even more appealing, he had rolled the sleeves up to his forearms. “New one of Lyra’s?” You guessed as you smoothed down the front of your dress.

Hunter nodded. He didn’t offer too much detail because much of what was in his box consisted of proper suits for him and his brothers that he hoped would be useful in the near future.

“Gotta hand it to her, she knows what she’d doing.” You mused before you loosened your shoulders and linked your arm through Hunter’s elbow. “Come on, we’ve got a celebration to get to.”

Night had fallen but the area on the colonnade was all lit up by the warm orange glow of a vast number of lanterns. The party was in full swing. Food and drinks were already flowing, and the music was getting many people up and dancing.

A playful wolf-whistle greeted you and Hunter as the two of you entered the scene.

“Damn, I am too good. What a fine-looking couple you two are.”

Evidently, by the cheery and slightly lopsided way Lyra walked over to you, she had been hitting the punch pretty hard already.

“Having a good time?” You asked with a laugh.

“Very! This party is fantastic! Everyone here is so nice! And I got the job!!”

“Lyra, that’s awesome!” You hugged her tightly.

“Congrats.” Hunter offered mildly but sincerely.

“So, better get used to having me around. And that’s just as well cause you’ll need me to des-” She quickly cut herself off. It would appear that alcohol only aided the inability to keep a secret.

“Want a drink?” Hunter asked you swiftly before you could follow up on her comment.

You nodded. “I just gotta talk to Lyra about something.”

Hunter couldn’t very well insist you join him, but he only hoped what you needed to talk about wasn’t close to what would hopefully unfold tonight. He squeezed your hand before he hastily walked towards the drinks stand.

You faced Lyra once more after he was a suitable distance away. “Now, I’m happy for you but also rather irritated with you.”

“Why?” Lyra asked innocently as she brought the cup to her lips to hide her grin.

You didn’t believe her lack of awareness for an instant. “You put those in that case? What were you thinking?” You hissed.

“Why not? You were willing to before everything went to shit. I remembered the design and everything! And you have more options now!”

You shook your head. “I was feeling brave back then, that feeling has since passed.”

Lyra scoffed, “Please, with the way the two of you are, I’m surprised you haven’t done something like that already.”

“You’ve got a retired clone sergeant and a retired ex-Jedi living on a tropical island, things aren’t exactly crazy around here. I’ve lost my bold and brave streak.” You didn’t think she needed to know what had had gone on in the shower and the times before her arrival because that would only aid her argument if you were being perfectly honest.

Lyra merely rolled her eyes. “It’s not a battlefield. It’s a totally great way to switch things up, especially now that you’re in a secure living situation and you would both feel and looking fucking sexy. Plus, I bet you he would drop to his knees and do whatever you wanted if he saw you in one.”

“I will never- hey.” You relaxed quickly and cleared your throat as Hunter rejoined you.

“Did I interrupt something?” Hunter asked with a glance between the two of you as he passed you your drink.

Lyra angled herself towards him. “Hunter, let me ask you a question. If she had certain-”

“You interrupted nothing.” You interjected sharply.

“Um okay.” Hunter didn’t press the matter of whatever it was the two of you were debating. “Come on, the others are over there.” He pointed to where the bulk of the dancing and partying was taking place.

“Just think about it!” Lyra implored.

You glared at her as Hunter led you away.

Lyra simply grinned and raised her glass in your direction. “Enjoy the party!”

The time was drawing near, and Hunter was just confirming with Shep that everything was set for when he got back when Hunter noticed you and Crosshair sitting and chatting, but you were also swaying to the beat of the music. He bade Shep farewell before he approached you.

The party was still going full swing and after you had the chance to catch up with Echo, you and Crosshair had retired to a seat on the side to people watch. The two of you sat in comfortable silence as you casually observed the goings on around you. There was a healthy split between the people by the food and drink area and on the dancefloor. Wrecker was enthusiastically dancing with Omega and Lyana and Phee, Tech and Echo were engaged in a pleasant conversation a few metres away and Hunter was chatting to Shep by the bar.

“So, you’re really sure about him?” Crosshair asked, breaking the silence first.

You frowned in utter confusion as you angled your head to face him. “What kind of a question is that?”

Crosshair shrugged. “Just checking.”

“You’re leaving that a bit late down the road are you not?” You were baffled by his sudden interest in the status of your relationship.

“Well, I haven’t been here for all of it. Trust me, I’m for grateful for that than I’m not. You two can be pretty sickening.” He added cheekily.

You rolled your eyes at his true Crosshair mannerisms. “So, is this your bizarre way of being a protective brother?”

“I’m looking out for both of you. He has some pretty annoying habits you know. I’d hate for you to be stuck with him before you fully knew what you were getting into.”

You snorted. “I’m all good, thanks Crosshair.”

Crosshair waited a beat of silence before his voice turned more serious. “Just don’t hurt him, alright? He’s been hurt enough already, we all have, the cycle has to end at some point.”

Your gaze softened. “I won’t ever hurt him.” You squeezed his left hand in reassurance before the two of you went back to relaxed quiet and you saw Hunter making his way towards you.

The music turned slow and that caused a brief dispersal of the dance floor, which included Wrecker, Lyana and Omega to depart.

Hunter reached you and held out his hand in invitation. “Come on.”

You looked at his extended hand, then at his face to see that he was totally serious. “Since when can you dance?” You asked, completely taken aback.

Hunter, nodded to Crosshair. “Back when we were first getting success as a squad, we thought it would be a way to impress anyone that came into 79s when we had leave from the war.”

You directed your question to both of them. “Did it work?”

Crosshair smirked as he said, “It worked for one of us.”

You laughed as you glanced to Hunter and said with a teasing lilt to your voice, “If you’re that bad at it, I don’t know if I want to.”

Hunter sighed. “Hey, I wasn’t bad, I had options, I just had a bad habit of failing to follow through.”

Crosshair continued to goad him. “Is that how you’re remembering it?”

Hunter’s voice went more defensive than he would’ve liked as he addressed his brother. “What about that red head who kept coming to our table the night we were celebrating the win at Boz Pity. She kept talking to me, remember that?”

“I remember who she left with.” Crosshair replied smugly.

You, having enjoyed watching their brotherly spat, took Hunter’s hand to stop the dispute going any further. “I will say, dance lessons were not really on the teaching agenda for Jedi, especially during the war, I don’t know-”

Hunter pulled you to your feet. “I promise to not let you trip.”

You reluctantly complied. “And if I stand on your toes?”

Hunter just led you to where the other people were dancing. “I won’t even react. And it’s slow music, I doubt you could inflict much damage.”

“You underestimate me.” You mumbled nervously.

“You’re too tense.” Hunter observed as he watched the way your eyes were fixed firmly on the ground.

“This is how your feet will continue to have feeling.” You grunted as you kept an intense focus on your movements. Even though the two of you were mostly slowly moving in beat to the soft music, your grip on his hand was tight and the one on his shoulder was digging into him.

Hunter released a low chuckle. “Here. Try this.” He adjusted the stance, so your arms were around the back of his neck and his coiled around your waist, so the front of your body was close to his. Now, the two of you pretty much stayed put and just enjoying the moment of being in each other’s company.

“I find it hard to believe you never followed through.” You uttered in quiet disbelief. The two of you weren’t moving from your spot all that much but the secure way he held you and the aura of calm confidence he projected was making it hard to think straight.

“It never felt right.”

You hummed out a pleased sigh as you placed your head in the crook of his neck.

“I guess I was just waiting for you.” Hunter added softly as he rested his head against yours.

You removed your head from the crook of his neck, and you saw the heartfelt meaning behind his eyes. You leaned up to kiss him and for a minute, the entire buzz of the party faded away and it was just you and him sharing in a loving moment together.

As music the music came to a stop, Hunter whispered in your ear, “Want to get outta here?”

You nodded silently and intertwined his hand in yours.

Hunter took a deep breath as he led you away.

Ten minutes left.

The rest of them had gathered to watch the two of you leave.

“Let’s go!” Omega gasped eagerly.

“Hold on, kid.” Echo caught her arm as she went to dash after them. “Five-minute head start, remember?”

“Right, right.” Omega agreed as she recalled the particular details of the plan.

“Technically, only Echo should be the one going.” Tech reminded.

“Yeah, Tech, I don’t really think that was ever going to happen.” Echo replied simply.

“Damn right! We’re all getting to see this!” Wrecker argued.

Echo raised his eyebrows in Tech’s direction. “See. And you were never going to stay because you kept talking about recording it anyway.” He pointed out.

“My phrase was merely pointing out that we are all ignoring a part of the plan Hunter quite specifically told the rest of us not to get involved with.” Tech responded.

“We’re not big on following orders.” Omega said with a shrug.

“If you’re all done debating what is a pointless argument because we were all always going to watch, it’s time to go.” Crosshair drawled.

“Uh, Hunter, home is that way?” You pointed in the direction he was currently walking in the opposite direction of.

“How about a beach walk first?” Hunter offered.

You gave him a surprised smile but nodded your agreement.

It didn’t matter how much reassurance he’d received in the recent weeks that you would say yes. His heart was damn near pounding out his chest the closer the two of you got to the sight and his mind started to spiral. What if you said no? What if you hated the very idea? He should’ve spoken to you about this first but wait, there was something to be said for knowing when it felt right wasn’t there? But maybe he should’ve-

“Your palm is sweaty.” You stopped and got him to face you. “And it’s not just cause of that that I can tell that you’re nervous.”

Great, so much careful planning and keeping you away from people that were far too eager to give you hints and his own usually steady nerves were about to give it all away. He had done everything right so far yet now he was a sweaty mess.

“Hunter, is everything okay?”

“Everything-” Dammit his voice came out all cracked. He cleared his throat and started again. “Everything is fine, I promise.” He started to guide you again. “If you just follow me a little bit further…”

“Follow you to what? Why are you being so…” Your voice trailed off and released an awed gasp as you saw the scene ahead of you. A small section of the beach was set up with a canopy and illuminated in a warm glow by strings of lights and a short carpet led the way inside. “What occasion have I forgotten and how quickly can I make it up to you?” You said as you started to panic.

Hunter was quick to reassure you. “You haven’t forgotten anything, and I think we stopped keeping track of things like that a long time ago.”

“Well, aren’t we the romantic pair.” You said dryly as you looked on in wonder at the fairy lights around you before the two of you came to a stop at the end of the walkway and stood in front of a

“I think we do alright.” Right on queue, the puck began to play the video Tech had put together, courtesy of Hunter’s guidance.

Your throat clogged with emotion at the display in front of you. The montage was starting right from the moment you had made yourself known to the squad and to when you’d first met Hunter and it was clear something transpired between the two of you. Something that you both would dismiss or shove away for a long time.

Hunter heard the footsteps and there were more than what he had ordered. “I’ll be right back.” He kissed your temple. “Keep watching.” He instructed as he saw you getting ready to question what was going on.

You couldn’t understand why he was leaving but you couldn’t tear your eyes away from the images. It seemed it was progressing to show a mix of how your relationship had transpired over the years. From every emotionally charged yet pushed aside moment, to every squabble and every time the rest of the team trapped the two of you somewhere to talk as well as the infuriating times each of them attempted to convince either of you to do something about your feelings. It showed the highs and lows of everything that had happened since Kaller too and it reminded you of just how much you’d all endured and survived.

It was a strange thing to watch, to see how obvious your feelings were yet you knew you’d waited so long before acting on them. It was so evident that the two of you were always drawn together and it would always be that way, the love radiated through, and it was something that had continued to this day.

“You’re not supposed to be here.” Hunter hissed as he herded his brothers and Omega behind some rocks. Keeping this secret was hard enough and he was almost there but the appearance of his supportive and rather determined family might be the final thing that gave everything away before he had the chance to even ask you yet.

“But Echo was always allowed to-” Omega started to protest quietly.

“I needed him here.” Hunter couldn’t risk receiving this item until the last minute since he wasn’t sure he’d be able to hide it well enough from you and the last thing he wanted was you to find it accidentally before he had the chance to do things how he wanted.

“Here it is.” Echo handed said item over to him.

“Thank you.” Hunter said appreciatively as he took the small velvet encased box. “But how hard did you try telling this lot not to come down?”

“Eh, not very.” Echo admitted simply. “Come on, Hunter. We all wanted to be here to watch this.”

Hunter did know that, and he wasn’t truly upset, he actually really appreciated everything they’d all helped with. “Alright, alright. Just keep quiet, please?”

Everyone nodded.

Hunter knew they were never going to follow that, but he didn’t have time to push the matter.

“Better get going. By my calculations, the video should be finishing in the next minute.” Tech informed him.

The video came to an end, and you couldn’t believe Hunter missed sharing this with you. You sensed him approach but as you turned to question why he’d left, your breath caught in your throat, and you forgot how to form words as you saw him down on one knee and presenting a ring to you.

Hunter had rehearsed this so many times, yet his adrenaline was pumping like crazy, but he was determined to see this through to its proper end. He wasn’t about to ruin it because he got jittery. He took a deep, grounding breath before he started to speak. He kept his voice low and though he spoke quietly, he filled each word with intense and sincere meaning.

“I spent so much of the war doing what was asked of me. Winning each battle, completing each mission and that was easy for me, it was comfortable, I knew what I was doing, what my responsibilities were but I was also running on autopilot. I kept moving, doing what needed to be done, it was a routine that I didn’t see myself really breaking f-from. Un-”

He paused to settle his own emotions that rising in his chest and throat. “Until you. You came into my life, and I’d never known I’d been living in a galaxy of grey until I met you and you, with your fire and your strength, brought the colour I’d been missing. You could probably tell from that holo, but everything changed that day and I’ve never been more grateful for it. I knew from the second we met on Devaron that I was hooked. I was yours and I never wanted you to leave. I love you.” He said fiercely. “I love all of you. I love your kindness. I love your mind. I love your courage. I even love your stubbornness, no matter how much stress it causes me. I love how, no matter what, you don’t stop fighting. I love having you by my side, even if you’re arguing with me. I love how you’re always ready to face whatever is sent your way, unless it’s a spider and then you’re more than happy to surrender the room.” He added, the corner of his mouth twitching to hide his teasing grin before he carried on, “I love how you are with Omega. I love how well you fit in with my brothers. I love you in a way I’d never seen myself capable of, yet you make it so easy to do. We’ve been through so much; I’ve nearly lost you more times than I care to count but it also told me something…”

He allowed himself a second to breathe before he went into the final part, “I want it all with you. I know we’ve already got the home, the kid and the dog, and you’ve got the crazy in-laws.” He smiled as you let out a choked but genuine laugh at that. “I want to take the final step with you which is why I’m down on one knee and asking you this question...” He inhaled as he finally asked, “Will you marry me?” He finished and waited anxiously. He really hoped the silent tears running down your face were happy ones.

“Wrecker, get in the back, I need to record this, and I cannot see past you.” Tech demanded in a hushed whisper as the four of them watched from behind a cluster of rocks.

“Did she say yes? I can’t hear anything.” Wrecker asked, his voice rising slightly in distress. He didn’t want to miss any of this.

Crosshair spoke up next, “I see tears so it could go either way.”

Omega slapped his arm. “I’m sure they’re happy tears.”

“Here’s an idea… why don’t we wait to see it all play out first before we start talking about it?” Echo suggested sensibly.

His family were quite possibly the least subtle people on the planet. Hunter still hadn’t heard your answer yet, but he could hear them no problem. He waved a hand behind him to signal at them to shut up.

A happy sob mixed with laughter echoed from your lips as you looked past him saw the group of people further down the beach keenly looking on.

You brought your eyes back to Hunter. You had so many things you wanted to say, so many affirmations you wanted to give yet the first dumb thing that left your mouth was an answer in the form of a question, “Are you sure?”

Hunter chuckled as he placed the ring on your finger, the stones dazzling under the moon and fairy light. “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”

You flexed your hand as you admired the stunning ring. The design of the silver band was simple with a white round cluster diamond in the centre but what really got to you was the two smaller blue diamonds on either side of it. Their shade was exactly like that of your old lightsaber. Your words left you in a frantic state of joy. “It’s beautiful- You got- how- I mean-” You couldn’t find the words. Instead, you just fell to your knees in front of him and kissed him fervently. I love you; I love you; I love you.

Hunter cradled your face in his hands as he pulled away for a short moment to respond, “I love you too.”

Feeling a bit more collected, you pressed your forehead against his. And I meant to say that I am yours too. I may not have realised it then, but I was yours on Devaron. I saw you, spoke to you and I’d never experienced a feeling like that before. I’d spent so much time doubting if I’d made the right choice by leaving the Order, if I was wrong for believing what I did, but then I met this squad. You retreated a couple inches to look Hunter directly in his brown eyes which were filled with emotion, and you added even more devotion to your tone. And I met you and suddenly I finally realised what I’d been missing. So, yes. Yes, I would love to marry you.

Hunter grinned adoringly at you before he kissed you again. Both of you smiling hard as you kissed one another in short, passionate bursts.

A series of whoops and gleeful cries interrupted your moment and the two of you got to your feet just as Wrecker bounded over and picked the two of you up, squeezing tightly.

“Congratulations!!” Wrecker bellowed as he put you down again.

“I’m so happy for you!” Omega cried as she and Batcher went next. She wrapped her arms around both your waists and the dog took turns jumping up on the two of you. “Let me see the ring!” Omega requested enthusiastically as she pulled away from you both. “Ah it’s so pretty!”

“About time.” Echo said kindly with Crosshair nodding in agreement.

“Indeed.” Tech concurred as he too smiled at you both.

“You all knew?” You asked as you wiped away a few remaining tears with your uncaptured hand.

“You think Hunter could pull this off by himself?” Crosshair said with a mocking scoff in his brother’s direction, but he gave you both a genuine and pleased smile.

“Look, I had the ideas and I just needed help with the logistics of everything.” Hunter still felt the need to clarify.

“So, all of this…” You trailed off and gestured to the stunning set up that had been arranged.

“Yeah, they all helped me out.” Hunter told you. “And it wasn’t like I’d be able to keep it from them anyway.”

“All of you helped?” You repeated again. What had you done to deserve finding such a perfect family?

“I obviously put together the video and I was recording this moment.” Tech stated, adjusting his goggles. “It’s just as well I back everything up or the Marauder getting destroyed would’ve proven to be more problematic than it already was.”

“And Omega and I set this up!” Wrecker boasted proudly.

“And I helped with the ring.” Echo said. “Hunter laid out the design and I knew a guy who knew a guy who owed him a favour.”

“And you?” You asked Crosshair with a smile.

Crosshair feigned an aggrieved sigh.

“You were too late in claiming the set-up job.” Tech recalled. “And Echo and I had very clear responsibilities, you were just too slow.”

“Yes, Crosshair, unfortunately, had the worst job out of all of them.” Hunter revealed.

“Oh?” You regarded Crosshair curiously.

“I had to listen to him panic over and over again about every single detail and doubt in his head over this whole thing. Didn’t matter that we all knew you were going to say yes, he was a nervous wreck. It was up to me to keep him sane.” Crosshair told you. He truly hadn’t minded, and it had offered more opportunities for him to hone his skills since he was a hand down.

You looked at the man who was usually so put together and who had never let even the most daunting of chaotic war battles phase him. “Seriously?”

Hunter nodded and awkwardly rubbed his hand along the side of his neck. “Yeah, he was the one I needed to knock some sense into me, sometimes literally I might add.” He said with a pointed look in Crosshair’s direction.

“That way worked the best.” Crosshair said with a nonchalant shrug.

Hunter turned to you again, “And it still wasn’t enough. Believe it or not, I didn’t want to start sweating beforehand.”

You laughed before you addressed all of them. “Thank you. All of you. This was absolutely perfect! I’m so grateful!”

Another group hugged happened before Wrecker and Omega excitedly bounced on soles of their feet.

“Come on, the party’s just getting started!” Wrecker urged.

“Wait, I thought-” You broke off and looked to Hunter.

Hunter gave you a knowing grin. “You didn’t think the people of Pabu were going to let this go uncelebrated, did you?”

You inhaled sharply. “This party…”

“Is also serving as a congratulations on getting engaged.” Tech confirmed as he walked past you. “Hunter and Shep thought the whole thing through.”

“It’s a good thing you said yes or that would’ve been really awkward.” Echo commented with a smile as he too headed back up.

Well, that explained why Hunter was so dismissive of the change in attitudes the two of you had received in recent times as well as his caginess towards certain phrases or questions you asked. And Lyra’s sudden appearance as well as her ‘gifts’ checked out a bit more too. You stared at Hunter, incredibly impressed. “You somehow managed to plan this entire thing and I had no idea?”

Hunter nodded. “A lot of kind people live around us, but the price of their assistance was that they’re terrible at secret keeping and also made my life a living hell.” Hunter kidded before he kissed you once more and led you back the way you came, the delightful cold metal of your ring pressing against his fingers.

The walk back up to the colonnade was filled with cheers and celebratory whistles as the two of you reappeared. Much of the party remained the same except now a huge congratulations banner was on display.

Shep came over to you and hugged you. “Congratulations!”

“Thank you, Shep. For all of it. This is amazing!” You returned his warm embrace.

Shep parted and shook Hunter’s hand. “Everything go well?”

“Very. Thank you for all your help. I couldn’t have done it without you.” Hunter said gratefully.

“I’m just glad you finally did it. We were all losing hope that it wasn’t going to happen.”

“They were?” You nudged Hunter’s shoulder playfully.

“After we recovered from Tantiss, I was apparently still moving too slowly.” Hunter said lightly.

“We need not dwell on such things now. Please, enjoy the celebrations!” Shep waved goodbye as he went to make the rounds once more.

“Incoming.” Hunter warned you.

“What-” You were nearly tackled by the woman who had clattered into your side.

“About damn time!”

“That seems to be the general consensus.” You said as you steadied yourself against Lyra’s eager hug.

“Let me see!” Lyra took your hand and gasped in admiration. “Oh, it’s gorgeous!” She then looked to Hunter. “You did good, well done!” She swivelled her attention back to you. “And you! You are going to get the best wedding dress ever! I have so many designs in mind already!”

“Can’t wait for that.” You said and you meant it but that didn’t stop the wary laugh you emitted either.

“My drink is empty, but we will talk more!” With that, she hurried away.

“I’m never going to be able to keep up with her on anything.” You commented as you watched her go, a soft smile on your face.

“Rather you than me. I’m all set.” Hunter said smugly.

Your response was interrupted by an approaching Rodian.

“Courtesy of Phee.”

You and Hunter took the cocktails from the tray the rather timid new island resident offered and looked into each other’s eyes as you clinked glasses. The two of you too caught up in the bliss of the moment to notice that your cinnamon sugar-rimmed glass had tracings of a white powder mixed in amongst it.

The next morning

To say you felt like hell would be an understatement. You awakened with a deep groan and rolled over onto your front.

Hunter woke up to the sound and saw that you were awake, but you were face down in your pillow. “And how are you feeling this morning?” He quipped.

You groaned again. “I am going to say this with all the love I can possibly muster… fuck off.” The threat lost some weight since your voice was muffled by the presence of the pillow.

“I didn’t think Jedi could get hungover.” Hunter said, a teasing lilt to his voice.

“Yes well, I was always making waves one way or another and here is another prime example of that. How many of those damn Phee cocktails did I drink?”

“I only saw you drink one, but the party ran late, and we weren’t together the entire time, but you were with Lyra a bunch, so I figured you were going her pace. You were pretty out of it when we were heading home, you fell asleep instantly.”

The entire evening post that one cocktail was a total blur, so you just had to accept that. The deep pain and nausea you were experiencing just had to be the effects of a first and truly awful hangover. “I’m so sorry. I really didn’t plan on that at all.”

Hunter shushed your unnecessarily apology and placed light kisses along your shoulders and down your spine. “What do you need?”

“A lobotomy and a new stomach.” You grunted.

“Naturally… and if I can’t get that arranged?”

You angled your head to face him and rubbed your thumb along his cheek affectionately. “I just need a few hours alone to sleep it off, I’ll be okay.”

Hunter got out of bed and quietly got dressed. “I’ll see what I can find to help. I’ll be back in an hour.” He lightly squeezed your shoulder

You watched him leave and let that concern you’d been feeling take hold. You felt absolutely exhausted and though you’d never been hungover before, something about this felt different but you couldn’t think of what or why that would be.

You pushed it to the back of your mind for now and focused on sleeping and feeling better. You had a future to plan, you weren’t about to let this throw a wrench in things.

Hunter had been waylaid by more people who he didn’t have the time to both thank and accept their congratulations from so he was later than he’d told you but the minute he entered the house, he knew something was wrong and it wasn’t because he was late.

That was when he heard the sounds of someone- well it would only be you- graphically vomiting. He dumped the supplies he’d gathered and hustled to the open refresher door where you were hunched over the toilet.

“Sweetheart, how long have you been like this?” Hunter asked, his concern evident as he rushed in and took over holding your hair just as you finished throwing up.

“Uh, when did you leave?” You rasped through sore, heavy breaths as you righted yourself but still remained slouched against small gap between the toilet and the shower.

“An hour and a half ago.” Hunter said quietly as he sat down next to you and stroked your knee in a soft, consoling gesture.

“Oh good, I got to sleep for thirty minutes.” You said wryly through gritted teeth. “Then I guess it’s been pretty much every ten minutes.”

Hunter got to his feet and ran a washcloth under some cold water for you before he dabbed it against your clammy forehead and the back of your neck. “You should get back to bed.” He said tenderly.

“I tried earlier but leaving the bathroom floor isn’t an opti-” You stopped short before you held your head over the toilet bowl and the whole process began again. “Any time you want to take this off, say the word.” You mumbled as you pitifully waved your left hand in Hunter’s direction before another ugly wretch sounded from you and your body heaved as somehow more vomit left your system.

“Enough of that.” Hunter soothed as he gathered your hair again. “I think we need to go see Dalia.”

You managed to shake your head just as the last of your stomach contents dispensed from your system. She was someone people go to with an actual injury or medical problem and this was certainly not that. This was just you not being able to handle your alcohol... it had to be.

“Then how about Tech?” Hunter compromised quietly as he rubbed delicate circles on your back.

You resisted the urge to wince at the action that usual would bring you comfort but instead was only sharpening the thankfully now dulling ache in your limbs. “No, no. I’m-” You sat back once more and shakily got to your feet. “I think I just hurled my entire insides out which seems to have helped.” You accepted the water from him, and you had to make a conscious effort to drink slowly since your parched and sore throat welcomed the cool liquid. The nausea and general bodily pain were less, and you didn’t want to make a fuss, especially after all that had been done for you the night before. “I’m feeling better.” You said but as you went to step out the refresher, you immediately became lightheaded and swayed violently on your feet.

“Sweetheart, please.” Hunter implored as he caught your shoulders. He’d seen hangovers but this seemed more serious than your typical post drinking consequences and it was worrying him.

“Okay, we can start with Tech.” You conceded as the room finally came back into focus.

“I’ll comm him.”

“No, I want to walk. I don’t think being cooped up is doing me any favours.” You said as firmly as you could convey.

Even in your weakened state, Hunter could tell that was a point he wasn’t going to win an argument on. He gently placed his arm around you as you gingerly made your way to the door.

From afar, the Rodian and Twilek watched through macrobinoculars as their target left her home with her joined up with the rest of the clones.

“How is she out and about?” The rodian remarked in astonishment.

The twilek sighed in aggravation. “Remember what the boss said, she’s a fighter and she’s strong. You clearly got the dose wrong. She’s able to be out here cause she had to have thrown it all up.”

“But the boss also wants her alive, I gave the amount I was sure would leave her vulnerable but wouldn’t kill her.”

“Well, we can’t take her whilst she’s surrounded by that group anyway, and even if we get her alone, she needs to be fully incapacitated for us to even have a shot...”

“What are you saying?” The rodian asked nervously. He’d never been as sure or as excited about this job as his twilek partner was, but the money was too good to pass up. But there was a new kind of sociopathic gleam in the twilek’s eyes that unnerved him.

“I’m saying we up the dose until her body can’t fight it.” Life here was slow and the satisfaction he’d glean from watching you and the people around you hopelessly attempt to figure out and fight what was wrong with you was an opportunity too tempting to ignore.

To the rodian, that sounded awfully risky. Both for them and their target. This stuff was extremely lethal even in a small amount. Plus, the longer they lingered, the higher the chance that they’d be discovered. And he knew his poisons- this one was one of his own inventions too- which was how he also knew it was particularly volatile when given in large quantities. The build-up of symptoms was designed to make the recipient so agonised and weakened that they’d wish for a death that would never arrive but that was when administered at regular intervals of the same low quantity– death didn’t have to be the end result, the torture was what one would buy this poison for. But, if they went with this strategy, every deadly symptom would hit you all at once and he knew you’d never survive that which wasn’t useful to their specific remit. However, the twilek had been put in charge and he wasn’t someone he wanted to be on the bad side of. “The boss won’t be happy…”

The twilek dismissed that without skipping a beat, “So, we won’t tell her yet. We just need to get the Jedi to the boss alive for the premium cut of the deal. After that, who the hell cares how she ends up.” His voice wavered in an attempt to stay level-headed with the rodian. This whole poisoning method was so tiresome- he much preferred a straight fight- but they’d been warned off that with this whole squad. Hence why he was stuck with this jittery rodian who had gotten into this line of work through offering his services and using his skills as an apothecary for what sensitive people would deem immoral uses and gains. But even he had to admit, a Jedi was easier to apprehend if they couldn’t fight back and everyone here was so stupidly trusting, it made getting access to you almost too easy. The trickiest and most time-consuming part would be getting you alone but from their brief, he knew that time would arrive sooner or later, he just needed to be patient.

3 weeks later

You finished dry-heaving and risked a glance in the mirror above the sink as you slowly went upright as it became clear nothing was coming up. You regretted that decision immediately.

You barely recognised the person staring back at you.

Your clothes stuck to you uncomfortably. The fever was a new addition as of last week and your hair was slick with sweat, and you wiped away the drops slowly sliding down your temples.

Your face was sunken and devoid of all life.

Dark circles were under your eyes, so dark that they could’ve been mistaken for bruises. There was no light behind them at all, no sign of that lively spark that had once been a constant part of you.

It was as if all your fire and vibrancy had evaporated.

You looked like a shell of a human being.

To top it all off, you noticed spots of blood at the corners of your mouth and in the saliva that you’d hacked up, but you put that down to the strain your throat had been put through. Cleaning up, you took one last strengthening breath but even that was proving to be more effort than you’d expected. You then heard a quiet knock on the other side of the door

You opened the refresher door to see Hunter standing waiting with his now standard worried expression on his face and your flask of water. He’d stopped offering you food in the early stages when it became clear you couldn’t hold it down and even water appeared to be a struggle.

You rejoined the group of people in the living room who were all here to supposedly help you plan the ceremony but all you got was the sea of nervous and concerned expressions from your squad- and that included Echo who had planned to leave once you were feeling better, but that day was yet to arrive- and Dalia. “I’m fine.” You exhaled wearily as you sat down. You thought just flinging yourself into what should’ve been a good distraction would aid in your recovery but, aside from the reduction in vomiting, things weren’t looking that much improved. In fact, you’d probably admit they’d gotten worse. You realised there were two faces missing. “Where are Shep and Lyra?” You asked, your voice strained and hoarse. You rubbed your arms because, despite the humid day, you felt goosebumps rise on your skin.

Wrecker placed a blanket around your shoulders.

“They didn’t think discussing flower arrangements was a smart use of your energy.” Crosshair remarked in a clipped tone, but it came from a place of care. He, like the rest of them, was growing more and more disturbed as your condition continued to deplete.

You lacked the gumption to argue with him so instead you just nodded in acknowledgement that you’d heard him.

Hunter noted you still hadn’t drunk from the water he’d handed you. He tapped the cup to prompt you to do so. “If you would just lie down...”

You did it for him but even water tasted wrong as it went down your throat and it really didn’t sit well. “Remember that stubbornness you love?” You said through a grimace. Plus, sleep pretty much eluded you these days.

“This is one of those times where it drives me crazy.” Hunter muttered fretfully.

“If I just sit around, I’ll go insane. I-” You lost energy halfway through your attempted to explain your reasoning. Instead, you readied yourself for the medical questions from Tech and Dalia- the town healer- that were sure to come your way now.

“Your fever is getting worse.” Tech observed as he took your vitals.

“Bacta won’t do you any good anymore. You’re just burning it off.” Dalia said as she confirmed Tech’s words.

“And I checked with AZ, his recent round of tests came up with nothing.” Omega said defeatedly, patting Batcher in an attempt to quell her worries.

“So, what else can you do?” Hunter asked Dalia and Tech anxiously. It really felt like they were running out of options. He saw you hunch over in pain, and he didn’t need to touch you to feel the heat radiating off you. He instinctively reached out to offer you some semblance of physical comfort, but he knew that hurt you now, so he stopped himself.

Tech started first, “We can test for-”

You straightened up and once the room stopped spinning, put on a brave face. “Look, we ruled everything out. It’s just stress, Tech. Besides, I’m not even throwing up anymore, it’s just dry heaving so that’s progress.” You said, attempting for levity but you were too exhausted to convey it.

“I’ve seen you stressed; your symptoms were not of this format nor this severe.”

“So, it’s a different type of stress.” You said tiredly as you forced yourself to stay upright.

“And your pain?” Dalia asked as she took examined you as best she could in this particular circumstance. Your medical case was infuriating, one because she liked you and hated seeing you in this state, and two, because she hated not knowing how to help you. Everything she had attempted had proven useless. She knew your ailments but had no idea what was causing them. Your pain wasn’t localised, and no pain killers were working. All she knew for sure was that you were incredibly dehydrated and sleep-deprived, your entire body ached, you couldn’t stomach anything, and you had a fever that was reaching near dangerous levels. How you still functioning had to be due to your special abilities, but it was also a testament to your sheer strength and force of will.

The pain was getting harder and harder to ignore. “Well…” You nervously fidgeted with your ring.

“It’s worse?” Dalia and Hunter said together in the same troubled tone.

“Let’s just say the sedatives you’ve given me to sleep are losing their effectiveness.” You mumbled.

“I can give you a stronger dose.” Dalia offered. It wasn’t a suggestion she liked giving but she was running out of ideas.

“I’m not spending my time half awake and barely alive.” The irony of the comment given your present condition was not lost on you though. “I still get a few hours with what you’ve already provided. It’ll do.” Although, saying you got even a few hours was also a generous statement.

“You can’t be serious.” Echo couldn’t help but protest, voice rising in concern. “A few hours aren’t enough to-”

“Echo…” Hunter warned. He’d already gone down this path with you and it was something you’d never budge on.

Dalia heaved a sigh as she finished up and took a fresh blood sample for comparison to previous ones. She readied to leave. “Look, me being here throwing useless suggestions your way isn’t helping either. Best I can advise is slow down. I’m going to run through your labs again.” With that, Dalia got to her feet and headed for the door.

“Thanks for coming by.” You said to her, your voice heavy with effort it took to sound somewhat normal.

“For the record, that was not convincing.” Crosshair told you as he took your water canteen to refill it since Hunter was seeing Dalia out. “Why didn’t you take the damn sedatives?”

“If Hunter can’t even get me to do that, what makes you think you can?” You pointed out as you curled in on yourself. You also knew they truly wouldn’t make a difference.

You were growing more and more aware of the reality of your situation, and it wasn’t anything that could be prevented.

Hunter caught Dalia’s arm just before she exited. “Dalia, she physically can’t go on like this for much longer. And it’s not just because she’s refusing to ease up. There are days where I can convince her to just stay in bed, but it’s not helping.” He whispered, doing his best to keep his voice level as his worries threatened to overcome him.

“Hunter, I’m sorry. I’m looking into everything, I promise.” Dalia said in a quiet voice. “Tech and I even checked for poisons, but nothing came up. But I’m not going to stop, I swear it.”

Hunter sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I know, Dalia. Thank you.” Hunter said sincerely before he shut the door and took a calming breath as he turned around and filled him with both sadness but gratitude. All of them were doing what they could do support you.

He watched as Wrecker and Omega delicately fussed with your blanket, Tech continued to study furiously on his datapad for anything that might correlate to what was causing your illness, and even Crosshair was making sure you were drinking water regularly. But then, he saw that recognisable look in your eyes, and he saw Echo help you to your feet before you staggered to the refresher, and he exhaled shakily as he got control over his own deep anxieties over your condition.

He followed you to the refresher again, ignoring the fretful looks his family were sending both his and each other’s way.

You hadn’t managed to lock him out this time, so he was able to enter, shut the door and collect the hair falling forward around your face. Every miserable effort your body put you through in an attempt to rid you of whatever it was that was causing this sickness only exacerbated the strain on your worn out and frail form. He kept trying to not fixate on it because they were all working on figuring this out and he had to believe that someone would find something… because he knew you were running out of time.

You finished up and exhaled a shuddering breath, “It hurts, Hunter. Everything just hurts.” You admitted, your voice racked with agony. You only wanted it to stop. You needed it to stop.

Hunter’s chest tightened. “We’re going to find out what this is.” He promised. He reached for you but hesitated.

The need to be held by him overpowered the subsequent discomfort and you folded into his embrace and let the silent defeated tears finally fall.

“I really hate this, you know.” Hunter griped worriedly as he got ready to leave you at the door and spend the night with his brother’s and Omega. Somehow him saying you needed to get to sleep had turned into you sleeping here by yourself. Despite the fact that they’d all wanted to spend the night here; you’d gotten them to agree to leave you alone. How you’d managed to do that, he had absolutely no idea.

You knew he did but with all your tossing and turning in your feverish delirium, he wasn’t getting much rest either and you hated that more than you hated your own sickness. You raised your hand, your arm feeling unnaturally heavy, and placed it on his chest to quell his fears but even that simple action sent a sharp pain through your limbs.

Hunter noticed your efforts to conceal your discomfort and what you’d said in the refresher was still plaguing his head. How could you expect him to leave you like this. “Please let me stay, I really don’t mind-”

“Hunter, you haven’t had a solid night’s sleep since the night of the party. There’s no sense in us both suffering here.” You just about managed to give him a smile of reassurance. “It’s just one night and you’re only a few houses down. If I need anything, I’ll get you on the comm, I promise.”

“I won’t sleep any better away from you. I-”

“But here you have no choice. I need to know you at least had the option.” You insisted as you fought against the urge to slump into his arms. Your entire body felt like lead.

“But-”

“I’ll see you in the morning.” You said with finality before your voice softened. “I’m only asking you do this for one night. Just one night where I don’t have to worry about you.”

“Worry about me?” Hunter repeated with combined fondness and exasperation. At least that sounded more like you. “Sweetheart, the only person that anyone needs to worry about is you and that should include you.”

“What if I promise to spend all my time tonight worrying only about myself?” You offered, a hint of your old spark coming through before it was squashed by another bout of pain settling in your muscles. Your jaw clenched in an attempt to keep your groan contained. You thumb fiddled with your ring in an attempt to distract yourself.

Hunter picked up on that too but not wanting to put you under the strain of further deliberation, released a long, drawn-out breath and managed a stiff and reluctant nod of consent to this idea.

“Thank you.” You whispered. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Hunter replied as he caressed your fingertips with his own. It was the closest to an affection gesture that he could offer you now.

“Batcher is going to stay with you.” Omega said with a slightly nervous smile as she patted the hound farewell. “Just in case.” She knelt down in front of the dog and stroked the underside of her chin. “Look after her, Batcher.”

Batcher gave her an affirmative bark in reply before she came and sat by your side.

“Thanks kid.” You waved as she and the others departed but Hunter still lingered. “Go.” You ordered with a half-smile.

With one final look in your direction, Hunter finally forced himself to leave.

You shut the door and braced your forehead against it as a fresh wave of dizziness and pain coursed through your body. You felt a wet nose nuzzle against your hand with a quiet whine. You opened your eyes to see Batcher looking up at you with an intense, concerned stare. “I’m alright, girl.” You winced as you pushed yourself away. You were employing the strategy that if you told yourself that enough times, maybe one day it would prove to be true.

You debated the effort of going all the way to your bed, but your body gave up halfway there, so you decided on the convenience of the couch, Batcher curled up on the floor beside you.

Hours had passed. You weren’t sleeping but you were working on attempting to trick your body into thinking it could by keeping your eyes shut.

The sound of barking caused you to finally give up and open them which you did, and you were greeted by the sight of Batcher snarling at the dark shape looming over you and watched as it reacted quickly to the attacking hound and the stun blast took Batcher out before she had the chance to inflict any damage.

To say you reacted sluggishly would be an understatement. You could barely will your body to move out of the way of the threat. Your eyes finally quickly adjusted, you realised it was a male twilek and he was currently sticking a need filled with a clear liquid into your thigh.

You finally slapped his hand away but not before the needle pierced your skin.

You shot to your feet, stumbling slightly as you recovered from the head rush that hit you as a result.

You immediately felt faint.

A fresh wave of intense pain tore its way through your body and the nausea and overall weakness that overwhelmed you was scarily familiar.

It was then you realised what he’d just infected you with was in fact the source your sickness. But what you couldn’t understand was how it didn’t show up on any of the scans and tests you’d undertaken. Even though at the time you’d thought it rather unnecessary, you had been checked multiple times for poisons in your blood, yet this got missed and that was deeply concerning in its own right.

The other concern was, judging by how feeble and breathless you became, this was finally the one that your body couldn’t fight against, and you didn’t know how much longer you could hold out. If you could just get to your comm…

“You’ve got a very protective group. I thought they’d never leave. Thank you for finally sending them away.” The twilek said, utterly unphased by being discovered. He stalked around the couch and placed himself between you and the front door.

“How did you get-” You then remembered the open window in your bedroom.

“It’s funny how little people care about the security of their homes and personal effects here. You were basically inviting all of this.” He twirled his blaster with arrogant nonchalance. He saw the way you were clutching your side like you could brace yourself against the pain coursing through your veins and your knees buckled but you caught yourself against the coffee table the move seeing the cup of water fall to the ground, cracking with the impact. “Now, let me see, I’ve been hearing enough about how this poison works to remember some of the effects. Let me guess…” He tapped the tip of his blaster against his chin as he listed them off as you pitifully worked on getting to your feet, “Constant nausea, insomnia, fever, dizzy spells and extreme bodily pain. None of which standard medical can defeat. I’m sure I missed some but those are definitely the highlights. Does that sound about right?” He taunted.

You forced yourself to stand tall. Your eyes darted to your comm link on the kitchen counter.

“I wouldn’t…” The twilek warned in irritation as he stalked towards you.

You didn’t listen. You channelled whatever energy you had left and landed kick to his stomach- the action causing you more pain than it did him- and made a dash towards it.

Just as you grabbed it, you felt a brutally take hold of the back of your neck and smack your head against the edge of the counter. Blood poured from the fresh cut on your forehead, and you collapsed to the floor with a pained cry and cups and plates came smashing to the ground around you.

You shook away the black spots encroaching on your vision and attempted to crawl along the floor to your discarded comm device, sharp pieces of debris cutting into your palms, your body screaming in agony with the effort.

“I gotta give you credit.” He picked at his cuticles. “You lasted longer than I thought you would but I’m sick of this place so if you don’t mind, I’m going to speed this along.”

You felt a knee on your back and the butt of a blaster smack against your temple, turning your world black.

“Did you have to beat her like that? The poison has clearly been working. One stun blast and she’d be done.” The rodian chastised as he saw the twilek unceremoniously dump your freshly bruised body on the floor of the ship. He swivelled in the pilot’s chair and turned the ship on.

“The bitch still put up a fight. Besides, you had your fun with your little concoction. I needed mine. Now, hold on, we’re not leaving just yet.”

“Why the hell not?”

“Give me two minutes.” With that, the twilek took off the engagement ring and departed the ship.

“You didn’t use that final vial, did you?” The rodian called after him but he got no answer.

The following morning

Hunter roused from his restless slumber. It had been a mildly better night but not one he’d be looking to repeat.

He tidied his section of the floor he’d been given- it was a tight squeeze with all six of them here- and put away his sleep mat and spoke to his family who were all gathered in the kitchen, nursing cups of caf. “I’m heading back to check on her.”

“We’ll join you momentarily.” Tech said, his sights fixed firmly on his datapad.

Hunter nodded but as he opened the door, his blood ran cold as he saw what was on the doorstep. He kneeled down to pick it up and a new type of panic sat heavy in his chest.

“Hunter?” Echo had been the one to call over, but they’d all noticed the change in his posture.

Hunter’s head snapped in the direction of the sound of frantic, worried barks and he saw Batcher come sprinting around the corner. He started running, the rest of his squad following close behind.

The front room set the scene for Hunter in brief yet terrifying detail.

The floor was a mess of broken glass and smears of blood.

Your comm lay abandoned on the ground.

And you were nowhere to be found.

Hunter couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t best the tightening in his chest and the fear taking root in his heart. All he could hear was a high-pitched droning in his ears and it took everything in him not to succumb to the terror he was experiencing as he realised you had been taken from him. Again.

Around him, his brothers already started analysing the scene.

“The Empire-” Wrecker began to ask.

“Rex and I have been monitoring them and they have no idea where any of you are. This isn’t them.” Echo disagreed.

“It’s not their style either.” Crosshair stated.

“It is highly possible that a bounty hunter infiltrated this place in. Technically, I believe the price on her head would still stand.” Tech theorised.

“But who would know where we are?” Omega asked him.

“It would be best to consider past interactions and any new people you came across post Eriadu as well as those we already know who can tie us here. Now, naturally that should include Phee and Lyra. They may have accidentally-”

“Tech, no one on this island would ever give her or any of you up.” Echo argued.

Frustrations between all of them started to rise. They were going in circles and they knew your condition only made things that much more urgent.

“I’m very well aware of that fact but the truth is we need to think practically here. Someone knows where we are, and that knowledge has been used against us. Someone with enough skills to what I assume is poison her enough to take her out, and to elude all of us and take advantage of the very foundations of this place. Surely, there is someone that fits that profile.”

“There are too many.” Crosshair countered.

“There’s not way of knowing for sure.” Wrecker agreed with Crosshair. “And she needs us now.”

“Well, we need to start somewhere.” Tech said logically though he had to make an active effort to keep his own anxieties in check.

Meanwhile, Hunter carefully held your engagement ring and remembered the happiness and hope it was supposed to represent. How was that a little over a month ago, there had been so much excitement and joy in his life, and it had been so quickly overturned by pain and suffering. This was supposed to be a new life, a new beginning. You were supposed to be safe here, the threat of Hemlock and the Empire was over. Yet somehow, the past had come back to inflict more damage. Who could possibly have anything to gain from claiming that bounty? Who did they know that was that heartless, that calculated but would use a method so cowardly. And most importantly, knew they were here. Who could’ve- Hunter snapped out of it and pocketed your ring. He interrupted the steady stream of voices, “It’s Cid.”

All of them looked at him in bewilderment as he said that name.

“The Trandoshan from Ord Mantell?” Crosshair double checked since he’d never actually met her, he only knew the name through stories, but he knew that her name had nothing positive to go with it.

Hunter nodded.

“How do you know?” Wrecker asked.

“Because everyone else wouldn’t do this.”

“But wouldn’t we be aware of her presence here?” Tech pointed out.

“Lyra wouldn’t sell us out and neither would Phee. But there’s another link between us and Phee, and that’s Cid. You’re talking about bounty hunters, and we know she doesn’t do her own dirty work. It was her who told, same way she was the one that told the Empire we were here, and now she’s doing it again.” Hunter said, his voice eerily calm. “Tech, how much of the party did you record?”

“All of it.” Tech responded and, already anticipating Hunter’s next question, he pulled up the footage.

All of the gathered round as Tech brought up the recording of the party, increasing the playback speed as the evening unfolded.

Hunter, swallowing harshly as he made himself ignore all the tender moments with you that made that evening feel so perfect, anxiously scanned the flashing scenes in front of his eyes, looking for that first instance where you got infected and where this plan all started. “There!”

Tech paused the video feed.

“Dammit.” Hunter clenched his hands into fists. How had he missed that? How had he let you down that badly? “Dammit.” He hissed again under his breath before he departed and made for Shep’s.

“What did we miss?” Echo asked as the rest of them as they all stared at the frozen image of the rodian with the drink.

There was silence for a few minutes as they all peered at the screen.

Tech inhaled sharply as he next spotted the subtle difference. “The white powder…”

They all ran after their brother.

Shep heard an insistent pounding on his door and opened it to see Hunter standing there, breathing hard and there was a panic behind his eyes that he couldn’t hide and to Shep, that only meant one thing. “Is she-”

Hunter wasn’t even going to let him finish that thought. “The rodian from the engagement party. Who is he?” He questioned sharply.

“The rodian?” Shep repeated in confusion. This was the last thing he expected to hear.

“The rodian at the party.” Hunter repeated hurriedly. “He gave us our drink once we got back from the beach. He had yellow skin, quiet demeanour. He was new to the island; I didn’t recognise him.”

Shep recovered quickly. “Yes, yes.” He recalled the one Hunter was referring to. “He arrived with a twilek. They were quiet, mostly kept to themselves.”

“Were?” Hunter repeated and he felt his squad approach from behind.

Shep pointed down the road, “I checked on the temporary housing we provided them to see how they were feeling about the move, but they are no longer there. What does this-” Shep was only met with the sights on all of them racing for that house.

Hunter took in the front room. From the clothes left behind and the general disarray in the living space, it was obvious that they’d left in a hurry. He then noticed a puck for long range communications had also been forgotten about and that was the first time he felt a flicker of hope. “Tech.”

“I’m on it.” Tech confirmed as he began working on hacking into the system to trace where the communications went.

Hunter and the others continued to search the house and that was when Hunter spotted an old wanted poster of you nailed to the wall with a knife through your face. Hunter tore it down and curled one into a tight ball in a flash of rage before he composed himself continued searching the area for any sign of where they’d gone.

“Hunter.” Omega called over as she opened a cabinet just above the sink.

Hunter walked over to where the young girl was and took in what she had found.

There was a vast array of discarded and empty vials inside the cupboard which were accompanied by a series of instructions for powder ingestion or liquid injection. Underneath the untidy scrawl, was also a list of symptoms that would accompany each dosage but what caused the fear he was working on supressing to spike was that it seemed to be that their plan had consisted of giving you the second-most lethal one.

But there was no name of the mixture, no list of ingredients to go off of or any signs of a cure. It only served to confirm that what you had been experiencing was a cruel, carefully maintained poisoning.

“I’ve got the location.” Tech announced as he brought up the coordinates to Asusto.

Hunter memorised the number and he knew he’d be able to track you once he landed. Next, he barked out orders like he’d done for most of his life. “Tech, you start getting what you can from these instructions. You thought it was a poison before, do what you can to narrow the list down. Omega, you help him. I’ll confirm what they did once I find them and get the antidote. The rest of you, help Dalia get ready for our return.” With that order, he turned on his heels and ran for home.

He entered the bedroom and started preparations to leave all the while doing his best to not let each reminder of you in here to distract him. You needed him focused, not frantic with worry. He reached under the bed and pulled out the case of depleted armour that he’d never thought he’d have to put on again. It wasn’t even a complete set anymore, and it was still scratched and worn down, but it had to do. He grabbed his blaster and vibroblade and got ready to leave.

As he left, he saw that Wrecker, Echo and Crosshair had returned and were all stood there, blasters in hand and in whatever armour they’d had post Tantiss. “No.” He said immediately.

“Dalia can handle setting up herself. You’re not doing this alone. You need us as backup.” Echo reasoned.

“I can’t ask that of you.” Hunter said with a firm shake of his head. This was supposed to be behind them, he wouldn’t inflict this another fight on them.

“You’re not asking, and neither are we. We’re going with you.” Crosshair said definitively.

“Yeah, you mess with one of us, you get all of us!” Wrecker said in agreement.

“I already told Rex and he ordered me to stay here. You’re not doing this alone.” Echo added. “My ship is ready whenever you are.”

Hunter dipped his head in thanks before he led the way out.

Your head was pounding.

The cuts on your palms stung.

Everything around you sounded fuzzy- it almost sounded like you were underwater- and from what your semi-conscious self could tell, you appeared to be in some sort of basement. You weren’t cuffed or chained but that was probably because your captors realised you were hardly able to keep your eyes open, let alone plan an attack to get out of here. You could make out their blurry shapes just ahead of you, and you strained to hear why the rodian was in such a state. As you did so, you felt something wet dripping down your face, and you guess the damp basement had a leak somewhere.

“Shitshitshit, this is why I told you not to give her that last dosage!” The rodian cried in a frantic panic.

You felt a coarse fabric scrape under your nose, and you saw the crimson stain of blood as it was pulled away… so, clearly, it wasn’t a leaky roof. You had no doubt that signified the end for you- it was now only a matter of when- but your current disjointed thought process had you worrying more about the fact that the comforting presence of the ring on your left hand was no longer there.

“You wanted her to be an easy grab, I made sure of it.”

“I don’t have an antidote prepared!

“So, make one.” The twilek said with no concern whatsoever.

“With what ingredients? This was never the plan!”

“She’ll be dead before we even leave this room and if the boss doesn’t kill us, the client sure as fuck will!”

“She was as good as dead anyway; I only sped it along.”

“You-”

“How long?” You croaked, interrupting their argument.

The twilek ignored you but the rodian, wringing his hands anxiously, said, “About two hours.”

“Ah.” You said plainly. “Guess you mistimed that one huh?” You winced as you curled into the fetal position as if it could ease the agony coursing through every fibre in your body.

“Just keep your mouth shut.” The twilek ordered as the both of you as they waited for their boss to show up.

You had been in and out of consciousness but came around to the sound of the rodian babbling to himself about how everything had gone to shit, and they were seconds away from getting killed. You clued in to the sounds of a door opening and footsteps descending to the basement.

You feebly raised your head and you saw the face you wished you’d never see again. “You bitch. You fucking bitch.” You seethed weakly. The last bouts of your cognitive abilities put it together: Ord Mantell, the Empire on Pabu and now these bounty hunters being able to find you… it all fell into place. “Betraying us twice wasn’t enough for you?”

Cid didn’t let your words bother her. “Money is money and you’re worth a lot of money.”

You attempted to sit up but the best you could manage was propping yourself up on your forearms. “I hate to break it to you, but the person in the Empire who wanted me is very much dead.”

“Who said it was the Empire?” Cid said coolly.

A new type of panic set in but you were distracted by the warm, wet liquid sliding down your face and on to your lips, the iron tang of it burning your tongue.

Cid then noticed the blood steadily dripping from your nostrils. She whirled on the two goons she’d hired. “That’s not supposed to appear until the last stage, how much did you give her?!”

The rodian just glanced to the twilek.

The twilek shrugged. “Look, boss, you told us to use the poison however we saw fit. She needed a hell of a lot more of it in her system, why do you think we took so long?”

“She’s no good to me or the client if she’s dead!” Cid said angrily. “How long has she got?”

A beat of silence.

“About an hour.” The rodian informed her nervously.

Cid cursed under her breath. “We don’t meet the client until midnight!”

“Just push the meeting to now. Get her to the client alive and take the cash and get outta there.” The twilek suggested calmly.

“They’d know something was up. And we’d never get away with it with how she looks like now!”

“You try what they gave me and see how good you look at the end of it.” You muttered in offence, a new type of delirium taking hold of you.

Cid paid you no attention. “What about the antidote?” She asked the rodian sharply. “This is your poison; you must know how to counter it?”

“Aw Cid, I knew you still cared.” You said hoarsely, and everything around you started to move in and out of focus, each haggard breath leaving you acted like a sick form of countdown.

“The ingredients don’t exist here, and I never brought them. It wasn’t supposed to get to this point.” The rodian admitted.

Cid tossed her hands in the air, her own nerves steadily rising. “You idiots! This deal was for a fit Jedi slave, and you’ve given me someone that isn’t going to last the next hour! How-” Her tirade was cut short by the sound of an explosion above them, dust descending from the ceiling with the impact.

“Do you know the great thing about having a family?” You said with a cold laugh. You forced yourself to sit up. You may be fighting a losing battle but one thing you still knew was who the cause of that explosion. You’d sense them anywhere. “We look out for one another.” You glowered at the twilek, “That ‘protective bunch’ are about to become your living hell.”

The twilek only glared at you.

“If they’ve found us, it’s because you left a way for them to track our communications!” Cid said angrily.

“Don’t look at me, he’s the one who was responsible for packing up.” The twilek said dismissively, readying his blaster for the fight he’d finally been waiting for.

“Well, he was the one that taunted them with the ring!” The rodian said in a panic as the thudding of footsteps drew closer.

“Ring?” Cid repeated, her stomach dropping to her feet in fear. She glanced to your depleted form, and the realisation of just what precisely had developed between you and dark and broody since Ord Mantell cemented her fate. She’d royally messed this up.

“You guys are fucked.” You said dazedly as you slouched against the wall and more blood spilled from your nostrils, staining your hands and the ground below.

The door at the top of the basement stairs crashed open and smoke engulfed the room.

Three precise shots fired through the smoke.

Cid raised her arms in instant surrender as the smoke dissipated and she saw the state of her hired bounty hunters. The twilek’s blaster had been shot out his hands and he was bleeding from a shot to just below the abdomen whilst the rodian took a hit to his shoulder. Both of them were now sprawled on the floor. She muttered an uneasy curse as she realised what was in store for her.

The effort of breathing and opening your eyes after each blink got tougher to maintain but you recognised the familiar tender touch under your chin from the man in kneeling in front of you. “Hunter.” You said, your voice barely sounding above a whisper. Your eyes flickered open as you took him in.

Hunter wiped away the blood from your face, but it just kept coming, the sight of it heightening his persistent rising panic but he pushed it away. It wouldn’t help you if he let you see how ruined with worry, he was. “We’re getting you out of here, I promise.” He started to lift you to your feet, uttering soft words of comfort and reassurance as you went with him but each rasp and pained whimper from you only fuelled his anger further. “Hold on. Just hold on.” He begged you quietly.

“I’ve got her, Hunter.” Wrecker offered softly as he came to your side and took over. “Hang in there.” He said to you, his gruff voice choking up with emotion as he took your weight and saw the way your face was drained of all life, the blood standing out too brightly against your skin.

Hunter waited until Wrecker was properly supporting you before he turned on the three adversaries. He ignored Cid for the moment, he’d deal with her last. Right now, his priority was getting your cure and for that, he needed the two hunters.

He did a quick scan of the two males, the twilek was gritting his teeth against the pain and his face was a cruel mask of indifference but the rodian was a mewling mess and his heart was pounding so loudly, Hunter had heard it from upstairs which meant that the rodian was his way in.

“Tell me what you did to her.” His voice quiet with lethal softness as he stalked towards him.

But the rodian said nothing.

“Fine.” With that, he stabbed the rodian just above the knee and angled to tip of the blade towards his kneecap and pushed. He also clamped his other hand down on the open shoulder wound and paid no attention to the miserable screams that emitted from the rodian.

Crosshair and Wrecker made no move to stop it either. Wrecker kept you propped up while Crosshair kept his rifle trained on the twilek and Echo guarded Cid.

“Fuck! Oh fuck, no!” The rodian yelled as he writhed in an attempt to get away from the blade, but each movement only caused the blade to twist further into his joint.

“What did you do?” Hunter demanded again through the cries of pain. With both hands, he pressed harder.

The rodian spoke through the pain in a rapid, terrified manner, “I’ll tell you everything! I- shit, just don’t do that anymore! It’s called Ghost. I c- created it. We put the powder in her water flask and coated her pain pills in it and spiked her sedatives with the liquid form! It- ow fuck- it can’t be picked up on any medical scans and it’s got no taste or smell but it’s fatal when used excessively. Its main use is torture and incapacitation but for that, it needs to be used precisely. That’s all we wanted to do with her! I swear! But what I calculated for her didn’t work so we upped the dose, but it was too much too quickly. I don’t know how she’s still going.”

Wrecker, Crosshair and Echo had to fight to keep their expressions neutral, but that information shook them all to their core. They’d helped this plan along and the thought left them repulsed.

The horror Hunter felt at the fact that they’d all inadvertently been contributing to your declining health threatened to engulf him. He caught himself easing up on the rodian in the pure gut-wrenching shock of it all, but he gathered himself swiftly. “But there’s a cure.” Hunter insisted, angling his blade further towards the knee.

The rodian yelped in agony. “Yes, there’s- ah fuck- there’s- a- an- an antitode!”

“Shut up!” The twilek hissed command earning him a rifle butt to his face. His nose cracked and blood poured down.

“No way! This shit wasn’t what I signed up for!”

Hunter eased up on his pressure slightly to lure him into revealing more.

“Here, take it, take it.” The rodian winced as he reached into his inside vest pocket and took the piece of paper out- it had been the one critical piece of information he had the wits to remember to remove when they’d left the island- but now he wanted it as far away from him as possible. He felt momentarily relief as the man removed his vice-like grip on his shoulder but that was swiftly replaced by fear as he saw a blaster pointed at his face. “No, please don’t! I promise I won’t tell-”

Hunter killed the rodian with a shot to the forehead. “Get that to information to Tech.” He ordered Echo sharply who took the paper with a nod and swiftly left the room.

Hunter fired two shots into Cid’s knees as she attempted to slip away once Echo departed.

Cid crashed to the ground, hissing in pain.

Your slumped form addressed the other hunter who was still alive. “You two were slipping poison into my system for 3 weeks… didn’t you have anything better to do with your lives?”

“It worked, didn’t it?”

You, still delirious, mimed applause. “Yup, it did. Extra points for you. Although you’re 30 seconds away from death and I still have a good hour so who’s the real winner here?”

The twilek saw the tattooed solider stalking darkly towards him. He wasn’t going to die begging for his life like his rodian counterpart, he’d done something others could only dream of. “And you’re more than three hours away from Pabu. We beat you, you’re as good as-”

Hunter silenced his words with a single shot of his blaster.

You felt your legs completely give out with the effort it took to remain vertical.

Wrecker, unfortunately had to ignore your moans of since he was left with no choice but to strengthen the grip that he had on you. He didn’t even need to have Hunter’s enhanced senses to see how grave your situation was now. He could barely feel your breaths leaving your body and each time he wiped away the blood, more continued to pour down.

Hunter heard your weak cries of protest, and he turned his attention to the pathetic excuse of an individual crawling on her front away from him, blood streaking the floor from the wounds in her knees. No matter how much he wanted to make this hurt, you were the priority here. He caught up with her is a couple steps, stamped down on her back before he roughly turned her around and replaced his foot harshly on her chest.

Cid couldn’t run. She couldn’t fight. But she knew fine well what was in store for her. “Look, bandana, it was just a bad business deal, okay? I didn’t know they were doing to use so much. You’ve got the antidote, just take it and get her the help she needs.” She said tightly through the pain.

Her words filled him with pure disgust, and he couldn’t stand to hear them anymore. With her out of the picture, it would finally all be over. The constant threat of her wouldn’t plague them anymore.

“You betrayed us three times. You don’t get a fourth.” Hunter said, his voice steely with quiet and controlled rage.

“It wasn’t personal, it was a business deal. I’m sure-”

Hunter cut her off with a shot to her face. He holstered his blaster.

“Move out.” He directed as he came to your opposite side and aided Wrecker in keeping you upright so you wouldn’t choke on the blood gushing from your nose.

Wrecker passed you fully off to Hunter as you all entered the ship, and he joined his two other brothers in the cockpit.

Hunter laid you down carefully on the cot, angling your head so you wouldn’t gag on the blood continuing to flow from your nose. He held one cloth over your nose in what he knew was a futile attempt to stem the blood flow before he also grabbed a cold cloth and dabbed at your forehead. Your skin was on fire, your clothes soaked through with sweat and even blinking seemed to be a monumental effort for you. “Hold on. It’s just a little bit longer, okay?” Hunter told you, his voice quivering as he helplessly watched you. It seemed like even breathing was a burden for you now.

You couldn’t even nod. Another shallow breath shuddered through you.

Echo had gotten the ship into hyperspace and Tech back on comms. “Tech, we’re heading back. Did you get anything more on the poison?”

“Unfortunately, not more than what you’ve already told me given that it was not on any official record. But I read through what we uncovered in the home. One thing to be thankful for is that, if the instructions we’d already found are accurate, there’s still time. The final stage involved bleeding from bodily orifices. If-”

“She’s bleeding from her nose.” Crosshair interrupted.

Tech’s eyes flashed with alarm. “When did that start?” He asked, his voice grave.

“Can’t be certain but she was bleeding before we got there.” Echo told him, his own nerves rising as he saw Tech’s expression.

“Tech?” Wrecker prompted; he hated the prolonged silence as Tech glanced at his datapad. “What does that mean for her?”

“Omega and I have gathered most of what is needed for the antidote here, but we’re taking Phee’s ship to go to the neighbouring planet to get the final plants required.” Tech said instead.

“That’s not an answer.” Crosshair said, his voice tense.

“The answer wouldn’t do any of you any good. Just get her to Dalia the second you land. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

As he disappeared. Echo, Wrecker and Crosshair looked down the hallway to where Hunter was crouched by your side.

“We can’t have been too late, we can’t have been.” Wrecker fretted.

“She’s survived this long. She can do it.” Echo said but it was more to convince himself than anyone else.

“I don’t know how much she has left to give.” Crosshair said, his own worries seeping through as he watched your chest barely rise.

You were already living for longer than you were supposed to but none of them knew how much more of that you could sustain.

Hunter had heard the words from the cockpit, but he refused to let them resonate. “I’ve got it.” He said gently as he saw you attempting to take the rapidly growing blood-stained fabric off your face. He removed it, threw it away and made to grab a new one but your gravelly voice stopped him.

“H-Hu-Hunter.”

“Don’t- don’t try to talk.” Hunter advised, swallowing thickly. “Save your energy.”

You didn’t listen and just about managed to make your eyes focus on him. “I- I hav- have to tell you-” You gasped through pained breaths.

“Tell me when you’re better.” Hunter instructed, hoping he sounded like himself even as he felt his own distress rise in his chest, in his throat. He couldn’t stand this, but he needed to stay strong for you.

“I’m not-” You broke off with a sharp, hurt whimper. “I- I’m not getting better.” You could feel your body giving up with every ineffective, weighed down breath.

“Yes. You are.” Hunter took your hand and pressed your fingers to his lips.

“I-I want you- t-to-know that- that I love you.”

“Stop-” Hunter his voice growing hoarser and more wrecked with emotion with every passing second.

“I- I want you-you to move on- I want you to-to live.”

Hunter stroked hair back from your burning brow. “I can’t do that without you.” He whispered but he could from the distant look in your eyes tell that his words weren’t landing as the fever had ultimately taken its deadly grip.

“I- I would’ve married you.”

“You still will.” Hunter said as firmly as he could manage but it required pushing away more doubt than he cared to admit.

“I…” But you trailed off as you finally welcomed what you had been resisting for so long.

“Keep your eyes open. Please.” Hunter pleaded, his voice breaking as he saw you take one deep, crackling breath as you slowly blinked.

You wanted to. You wanted to so badly, but you felt like the end would be the only thing to give you any semblance of relief. Your eyes flickered shut and darkness took over.

Hunter hung his head and held your hand tightly, and he could only watch your signs of life slowly fade away. “Stay with me.” He begged your unconscious form through a strangled breath as he hoped some part of you would register his words.

Your pulse was thready at best, your breathing ragged and shallow.

Your entire body was shutting down and there was nothing Hunter could do to stop it.

Thanks to Tech’s efforts, Dalia’s home had extended and doubled into a well-functioning medical centre with enough beds and equipment to cope with whatever came her or the island’s way. It had felt a bit excessive, but it was better to be safe than sorry, and today, that was good thing.

“Put her here!” Dalia ordered as Echo slammed open the door for Hunter and Wrecker to hurry through, your body hanging weightlessly between their arms. “AZ, prep her and check her vitals.”

“Where’s Tech?” Hunter asked urgently as he placed you on the hospital bed.

“I don’t know. He should’ve been back by now.” Dalia said as she got a cooling blanket for you as AZ worked on stopping the bleeding before she gathered up the part of the cure that was already made up. She’d barely finished her sentence when Tech came sprinting through the door.

Tech stopped short when he saw the perilous state you were in but recovered quickly. He handed the final components over before he made to depart but stopped as he realised that his brother was making no move to do so.

“Hunter-” Tech tried to reach and take a hold of his arm, but Hunter shook him off.

Wrecker made to do the same but got the same result.

“Hunter, you need to leave.” Dalia insisted as she busied about prepping the antidote whilst AZ continued doing what he could to stabilise you.

“I can’t.” He croaked; his voice barely audible as he stared at your practically lifeless body. He needed to know that you’d be okay, he couldn’t leave you like this.

“If you want her to live, you need to let me work and I can’t do that with you here.” Dalia said bluntly. She cared for all of them and hated seeing this happen but there wasn’t time to be gentle, you were barely hanging on and your health outweighed politeness.

Tech nodded to Wrecker to leave first before he turned his attention to his unmoving older brother. Tech understood Hunter’s reluctance and he too found himself not wanting to leave until he knew you were at least stable, but he was just about clear-headed enough to realise their presence was a hindrance. “Come on, Hunter.” Tech tried again and this time, Hunter let him take a hold of his upper arm to guide him out.

Hunter could barely move his feet- Tech was doing most of the work for him. He saw the concerned faces of his squad staring past him into the room but as he turned around to get one last look at you, the door shut.

The door shut on him but not before he heard it.

He heard the sound that was going to haunt him for the rest of his days. The low drone of the machine chilled his body to the bone and his knees collapsed out from under him. If it wasn’t for Wrecker’s firm grip on his shoulders, he would’ve just crumpled to the floor.

Hunter wasn’t a medical expert, but he knew what a flatline sounded like.

What was complete devastation was soon replaced by raw, unbridled desperation. It swallowed him whole as he thrashed against Wrecker’s grip on him in his fight to re-enter that door.

“Hunter, stop, stop.” Omega managed to dart in front of him and take a hold of his hands. “You’ve done all you can. Fighting won’t help her or you.” She did her best to soothe him or at least get him to stop struggling against Wrecker’s hold.

The best Hunter could do was let her words and touch stop his insistence to get back to you, but he was practically hyperventilating. Cid had put them through a lot, but this had affected him in a different, more visceral way. The cruelty of everything she’d planned out and attempted to execute cut him to his core. “I did this.” He said in quiet horror and that admission opened the dam.

Once Hunter eased up, Wrecker released his hold, but he remained close by just in case. “This wasn’t your fault.”

Hunter lost all emotional control. “I should have stopped this!”

They’d all been anticipating this and knew Hunter needed them now. He’d kept it together for as long as he physically could but what they felt when they heard that flatline, he would be feeling ten times over.

“No, you couldn’t have. None of us knew what this was.” Tech reminded him.

Hunter’s panic and anger were leaving him unrestrained now. He couldn’t stop. “I watched her drink from that glass the night of the party, and I didn’t notice! I just watched it happen and did nothing! What good am I if my mutation can’t even protect the people around me!”

“It was impossible to trace. There was a reason your enhanced senses couldn’t detect this; it was inherently designed against them.” Tech emphasised.

He couldn’t handle the logic right now. It didn’t matter. All he knew was what had happened to get you here and what’d he’d failed to protect you from. “I was killing her, Tech! Every day I gave her that damn flask, forced her to take those injections and painkillers, I was killing her!”

“No. The poison was.” Echo interjected.

“Which I was only helping along! Cid might as well have hired me for the fucking job! She kept telling me that she didn’t want them but took them because she was doing it for me!”

“Hunter, you didn’t know.” Omega tried again but the clone only shook his head in harsh self-deprecating dismissal of her words.

“I should have! I-”

“And if you’re going to blame yourself for doing what you naturally thought was the only way to help her, then blame all of us because every single one of us did that.” Crosshair said bluntly but he was only speaking as frankly as he was because he knew his brother would never assign that blame to them and he needed Hunter to hear how ridiculous and pointless it was to put something like this on himself.

That felt like a punch to the gut, and it took the remaining fight out of him. But he welcomed it. The last thing he’d do would be and he could hear your voice in his head telling him to see the bigger picture here. “I know you’d never-” He broke off and tried again. “That wasn’t what I meant. I know it wasn’t your fault.”

“And it’s not yours.” Wrecker echoed again as he moved to now rest a solid, calming hand on his brother’s shoulder like he’d done in the months post the disaster of Ord Mantell.

Hunter took a deep, grounding breath, before he nodded to Wrecker to indicate that he wasn’t going to do anything foolish. He stayed standing whilst his family sat in the waiting area chairs.

Now, all they could do was wait.

Hunter was on step 864 when he ceased his nervous pacing a half second before the door finally opened.

The others all got out of their chairs once they “How is her condition?” Tech questioned the healer.

Dalia inhaled deeply. “She’s alive.”

Hunter couldn’t help but think there was a silent ‘for now’ that was in amongst Dalia’s tone. He’d been all too aware of what was happening behind that closed door. The announcement hardly brought him solace. There was only a slight easing to his churning stomach and frantic heartbeat as he waited for her to get to the crux of what she had to say.

“Can we see her?” Wrecker inquired.

Dalia hesitated before replying, “I would wait.”

“Why?” Crosshair asked warily.

“She flatlined three times but we got her back. However, she’s not awake yet.”

Hunter choked on a breath as she confirmed what he feared he’d heard again throughout the day.

“Not awake?” Echo repeated.

“But she will wake up, right?” Omega asked anxiously. “You gave her the cure, so she’ll be okay, won’t she?”

Dalia slowly elaborated on what she meant, “It’s possible that with the toil the poison took on her and with the amount of strain on her body... well, I just don’t know if she’ll wake up. AZ and I going to monitor her for changes, but I’d suggest going home until you hear from me.”

“That’s not happening.” Hunter rasped, but there was no mistaking the intensity behind his words.

“Hunter-” Dalia started.

“We’re staying here.” Crosshair said, backing up Hunter’s statement with his brothers nodding their agreement too.

“I don’t know how long it’ll be before we know anything more.” Dalia said truthfully.

“We’ll wait.” Tech said firmly.

Seeing that she wasn’t going to change their minds, and she didn’t really expect to anyway, Dalia bowed her head. “Very well.” She said before she walked back into the room.

The hours ticked by painfully slowly.

Then the hours turned into the next day.

And the next.

Shep, Lyra and Phee had periodically come by both to check in and to bring food and blankets since it was obvious that none of them would leave until they knew your fate.

“Any updates, brown eyes?” Phee asked, laying a caring hand on Tech’s shoulder.

Tech rested his hand on top of hers. “It’s still touch and go.”

“And how’s he?” Lyra inquired with a nod in Hunter’s direction but all she got were a series of uneasy looks.

“As far as we’re aware, he hasn’t slept or eaten.” Echo said worriedly.

“Nothing? Can I bring something else? He should eat something.” Shep offered.

“We’ve tried. He won’t take anything.” Wrecker replied, voice rough with tiredness and emotion.

“I’ve got it.” Omega said as she came over and took two of the prepackaged meals.

“I brought you some food.” Omega said delicately as she approached Hunter who looked utterly exhausted.

“I’m not hungry.” Hunter said gruffly.

“Eat.” Omega ordered more insistently this time.

“Omega…” Hunter just shook his head.

“She’s going to make it. And you’ll need your strength to see her once she’s up. You know it’s true. So, eat.” She instructed again.

Hunter took the plate with a tired sigh and allowed the young girl to rest her head against his shoulder as the two of them ate and sat in the closest thing to relaxed silence he’d experienced since coming back.

Nightfall had arrived on the third day and there was still no word.

The others had all been in and out of restless naps as they waited.

The only thing keeping Hunter mildly calm was the young girl whose head was currently resting in his lap as she slept. Her soft, regular sleepy sighs allowed him some form of meditative relief as he sat there waiting for news. He adjusted the blanket as it slipped down her shoulders.

Another 15 minutes passed before Hunter heard signs of life making for the door. And his head snapped up as Dalia and AZ walked into the waiting area.

The rest of them instantly got to their feet.

Hunter gently roused Omega from his lap as they both stood, and he could hear his own anxious heartbeat in his ears.

Until now, AZ had been the one to give them sporadic updates. If Dalia was out here, that only meant one of two things…

“She’s awake.” Dalia said through a weary but delighted sigh.

Hunter braced his elbows against his knees. He covered his face with his hands and inhaled and exhaled shakily as he resisted the urge to release a relieved sob.

There was a collective breath realised as they all heard her say those words.

“Thank you, Dalia.” Hunter just about managed to say as the crushing weight of his stress and worries lifted from his shoulders, and he felt strangely disconnected from every other sensation in his body as he fully comprehended that you were safe… that you were alive.

“She’s asking for you.” Dalia said, squeezing his shoulder.

As Hunter steadily walked towards the door, some part of him felt like maybe this was all a cruel dream and he’d wake up back in that waiting area to find that you were gone. That thought soon vanished as he saw you gingerly sitting up in the hospital bed.

“Hey.” You said with a real but still weak and tired smile as you saw him standing there.

A strangled yet elated noise left his lips as he heard you speak.

“Yeah, I know I don’t look too hot right now.” You said with faint tracings of humour. But as you fully took him in, you realised that wasn’t what you needed to do.

He wasn’t ready for that yet. Everything to too fresh, too intense for him to let this become something to joke about. He caught sight of you old, bloodstained clothing and all the emotions he’d been suppressing came to a head. “I never should’ve left you.”

“You weren’t to know.” You said as you realised you didn’t need to put on that front you had been prepared to maintain. You allowed your voice to soften, and you relaxed further into the bed as you no longer felt the need to act like you could just jump out of the cot. “But you got me out and back here in time.”

“No, I didn’t.” Hunter said with self-directed frustration. “You died.”

Dalia had filled you in on what had happened, but you didn’t know the extent to which he’d been around for that but now your own tears threatened to spill from your eyes as you realised what he’d had to go through. You knew how you’d be if you’d been in his position and it was something you could hardly bare to imagine so, for him to have witnessed what he did, it was no wonder you could sense his fear tearing him apart. “Hunter-”

“It’s a rare thing for me to feel as helpless as I have these past weeks, especially on that ship departing Asusto. It was a new kind of terror. I’ve always known at least something to do, but I couldn’t do anything to help cure you. Taking care of Cid was the last thing I could do for you and for the safety of this family.” He inhaled shakily, “But then I had to watch the poison destroy you and I couldn’t do anything.” Tears were running down his face, but he didn’t care. “You knew you were going to die, you told me as much on the ship. You told me to live, to move on. I heard each flatline. I heard you get ripped away from me time and time again, and I couldn’t take it. Each time I thought you wouldn’t fight your way back, a part of me died out there and if Dalia had come out there to tell us you were gone, that part of me wouldn’t ever come back. I’d exist but I wouldn’t live. Don’t ask me to move on because I can’t, I love you with all I have. You’re the other half of me and if you are ever taken from me like that again, that half goes with you.” He finished with a breath that was half exhale, half sob.

You wiped away a few of your own tears at his words. “Come here.” You whispered as you reached for him- for your other half- and moved to the other side of the narrow cot. “And it’s not going to hurt me.” You added in reassurance since you knew that’s where his concerns would instantly go.

Hunter swallowed through the lump in his throat and finally moved towards you and shifted into the bed.

You kissed away the salty tears on his cheeks and rested his head on your chest. You felt a little pressure at the action, but it was nothing you couldn’t handle. “Hear that? I’m still here.”

Hunter closed his eyes as he listened to the thudding that emitted from your chest. It still wasn’t as strong as it usually was, but it was there, and it was steady and that’s what mattered.

You delicately stroked your hands through his hair as you rested there. You focused on his warmth, his weight on your chest, and you’d never felt more content. You felt your spark coming back with each breath and so long as he was still with you, everything else now would fall into place.

Upon hearing rising voices and footsteps, Hunter had just sat back down in the chair by your bedside, when Dalia re-entered with AZ whirring behind her.

“What the status?” You asked the healer as you also heard the faint sounds of protests behind the shut door.

“With you or the insistent group outside?”

You chuckled quietly, “Why don’t we start with me?”

“I want you to stay here for at least a week. We need to get you rehydrated and start reintroducing food into your system and I want to give you one more dose of the antidote to make sure all the poison is out of your body. Does that sound acceptable? Bearing in mind that I know how you are, but I will really only take one answer.”

You laughed at that, “Yes, that sounds good, Doc.”

“Now, there is a rather eager group of people out there and I don’t know how much longer they’re prepared to listen to me telling them not yet. Can-” She got cut off by the door opening.

“The answer was not very.” Echo said apologetically as they all entered.

“Oh, for goodness sake…” Dalia muttered.

“Five minutes?” You requested with delicate politeness.

“Okay, fine but I draw the line at the dog.” Dalia said with a roll of her eyes as Batcher went of her hind legs and placed her front paws on the bed by your feet.

Omega whistled and hustled Batcher out of the room before she rejoined her brothers.

“Five minutes.” Dalia reminded you as she and AZ made to give you privacy.

“Dalia, I don’t even know how to thank you. I-” You began to say as the healer walked away.

“Don’t waste your precious time now.” Dalia said but she bowed her head in acknowledgment of your words before she shut the door.

“And I also believe I owe you all a rather large thank you.” You said appreciatively.

“Don’t mention it.” Echo stated with a smile as he gave you a happy squeeze.

“Just don’t scare us like that again.” Wrecker implored as he took his turn.

“Trust me, that will not be something I am looking to re-experience.” You said agreeably.

“I should hope not.” Hunter muttered as he kept a tender yet secure hold of your free hand, his fingers finding a natural place resting on your pulse as a way to ground himself in this moment and remind himself that it was real.

Tech studied the screens next to you and tapped at his datapad. “Your condition has stabilised considerably. I would agree with Dalia’s recommendation for a course of-”

“Hey, no staring at my vitals or talking about my health until you give me hug.” You just about managed to hold your arm open expectantly but it was a rather pitiful attempt since you were still feeling pretty weak, but the resultant pathetic appearance probably aided your request.

“Very well.” Tech said through a sigh, but his brief embrace was heartfelt and warm.

“You know, if you wanted out of the engagement, there are easier ways to go about it.” Crosshair quipped as he came in last, but the relief was evident in his face.

“Ha ha.” You drawled sarcastically as you accepted his hug too.

“How are you feeling?” Omega asked and she placed her arms around you.

“Exhausted and still a little sore but alive which seems to be a bit of a surprise.” You said lightly.

“A bit?” Echo repeated with a shake of his head.

“Keeping you on your toes, Echo. That’s me.” You kidded.

There was a combined reaction of eyerolls and heads shaking in disbelief.

“And hey, we gotta find the silver-linings of this whole thing eventually. If you guys hadn’t left me that night, I wouldn’t have gotten the antidote. We’d never have figured it out.” You reminded them, absentmindedly stroking your thumb along the back of Hunter’s hand.

“I knew you were going to say that.” Hunter murmured, the tracings of a smile in his tone.

At that, you angled yourself to face Hunter once more. “I’m also really hoping you have something of mine?” You asked quietly as they all stood around the bottom of the bed.

Hunter kissed your forehead and finally allowed a proper smile as he reached into his pocket and pulled out the ring. “Do you want the speech again? Cause I have a few amendments.”

“Tell me tomorrow.” You said with a loving grin in his direction.

Hunter gently took your left-hand in his. “You know this is forever, right?” He murmured.

“I do.” You breathed in joyous relief as the ring slid back onto your finger.

Hunter pressed his forehead against yours in and nuzzled into the side of your face as he kissed your cheek.

All of you silently absorbed the moment that finally, finally your new lives could begin.

Next Oneshot>

Taglist: @noeasyisnoisy, @andreaaxy, @notgonnaedit, @moonychicky, @arctrooper69, @dizzy-9906 , @nightmonkeysstuff , @allthingsimagines , @thegreymarveljedi , @jellybeanstacey0519 , @callsign-denmark , @superbookishhufflepuff , @qvnthesia , @justsomerandompersonintheworld

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lynnimini · 3 months ago

Text

₊⊹ 𝘮𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯 ₊⊹

description: fluff ⋆ oneshot

In which y/n meets and gets to know her little crush outside of the company elevator

pairings: myung jaehyun x afabidol!reader

words: 2.6k

warnings: mentions of stray kids’s bang chan, han jisung, kim seungmin, and lee felix ⋆ mentions of riize’s lee sohee ⋆ mentions of zerobaseone’s sung hanbin ⋆ mentions of bts’s jeon jungkook

when jaehyun was told you would be a guest MC with him at mcountdown, he was elated. the boy was basically bouncing out of his seat and thanking the lord for hanbin and sohee having schedules.

you two had only stopped to say quick and polite greetings to one another at the hybe building elevator, but that was the extent of your interactions. jaehyun was really curious about you. partly because you debuted around the same time as boynextdoor, but mainly because he found you extremely talented (and beautiful) and wanted to get to know you better.

you had just reached your greenroom when jaehyun came bouncing up to you like a puppy to start talking to you.

"hi y/n, how are you today? it's nice to see you again and work with you today!"

jaehyun was barely hiding his excitement, making you laugh softly at how enthusiastic he was.

"it's nice to see you jaehyun, and i'm doing well. i'm excited to be able to work with you today!"

you shot him a bright smile and were quickly ushered away by your manager and makeup artist before you could even ask how jaehyun was doing in return. not that jaehyun minded. he was just glad he got to talk to you.

"what if he thinks i'm super rude now. he debuted before me, i should've been politer"

you groaned and complained to your makeup artist who just giggled and kept doing your makeup.

"well you were trying too hard to be cool when you knew we had to hurry. you're going on live with him soon anyways, just be yourself"

she teased as you hid your face in your hands, earning you an earful of scolding as to why you shouldn't do that ever again and mess up your makeup.

you and your makeup artist were basically like sisters. it was no secret to her that you found jaehyun cute and funny, leading to tons of teasing the moment you found out you'd be doing daechinso live and mcountdown hosting with him.

"don't make your cute little crush obvious on live, but just be yourself. you'll do great. this is a good experience for you"

she said earnestly, giving you a gentle side hug while you nodded and went to the couch with jaehyun and the other staff for daechinso live.

you and jaehyun exchanged glances and smiles before turning your attention to the staff who told you what to do.

"it's all simple stuff. we just talk casually together with the guest. you'll do great"

jaehyun shot you a sweet smile back in response to your nervous one, patting your shoulder lightly to calm your nerves.

"i don't know why i'm so nervous. i watch daechinso live all the time"

you admitted as you took deep breaths to calm down. for being an idol, you were still very nervous on camera and with other people. jaehyun perked up at the mention of you watching live often.

"you do? why haven't you ever guest starred on it?"

he asked and you shrugged.

"i haven't gone on mcountdown with my other members in a while so i haven't had an excuse to come down"

jaehyun nodded in understanding before the corners of his lips curved up into a small smile.

"what should our unit name be?"

you turned to him in surprise. unit names were mainly for idols who were already super close. the two of you being in the same company didn't necessarily mean you guys were close, so you were confused. seeing your surprise, jaehyun backtracked and rushed to explain what he meant.

"the unit name for me, hanbin, and sohee is shine meongddocat. since we're hosting, we need a unit name for us"

he explained hastily and started second guessing his, what he thought was risky, question in his attempt to get closer to you. you let out a small "ohh" of realization and smiled. you glanced at the array of costumes on the table you and jaehyun would have to wear during the live.

"if we wear these we can be tanghulu"

you joked as you held out a strawberry hat to him. jaehyun laughed and put it on while you put on a matching strawberry hat.

tons of different idols walked by and you tried to hide the fact that you were so amazed at seeing all of them. unbeknownst to you, jaehyun smiled at the way your eyes lit up when seeing idols you both looked up to since you were kids. it seemed unreal to jaehyun at first too. you two had only been dreaming to get to where they were, and now you were finally here.

"who are we having with us today?”

you whispered to jaehyun while the staff got ready to start the live.

"i don't know. it's a surprise to us too"

jaehyun laughed and shrugged, sitting close to you in case you guys had to squeeze a lot of people on the couch.

suddenly, bang chan, han, felix, and seungmin of stray kids walked in and introduced themselves. upon seeing them, you and jaehyun bowed over and over together in unison until they laughed and told you two it was okay. it was even more embarrassing when you guys remembered you two were dressed as strawberries bowing profusely.

the live started and showed the five of you standing up around the little coffee table and the couch, introducing yourselves.

before sitting down, jaehyun subtly nudged you to sit on the end of the couch rather than be squished between everyone. a soft smile spread to the corners of your lips, grateful for how considerate jaehyun was.

the six of you went back and forth, exchanging comments and jokes about your careers, experiences, and just overall having fun. jaehyun noticed you fiddling with the flip sequin pillow, unconsciously swiping back and forth between his face and the normal design. he thought it was endearing how you were so nervous playing with the pillow.

“so, i heard you’re a main rapper and a main vocalist, is that right?”

chan asked you two and you both nodded in fear, knowing where this was going. felix let out small laughs when he saw your guys’ faces.

“i think we should do freestyle rapping between you two. i’ve seen you rap before. i’m confident you can rap better than our jisung”

chan said mischievously as he gestured between han and jaehyun. you froze and looked at jaehyun as he looked at han in pure adoration and fear, shaking his head in refusal to chan’s comment. this was NOT part of the script but jaehyun was so awestruck he didn’t care.

“okay staff-nim drop the beat”

jaehyun summoned his swagginess and put on a pair of sunglasses. he looked ridiculously adorable as a strawberry with sunglasses on but he still ate regardless.

“i think he lost”

seungmin laughed, gesturing to his own member who looked betrayed while the rest of his members agreed. again, jaehyun adamantly refused to accept his supposed win and bowed repeatedly to han.

“and for miss main vocal, pick a song and seungmin will duet with you. i get a lot of comments on instagram live saying they want to see you two specifically duet”

felix added and you thought for a moment.

“should we sing jungkook’s standing next to you?

you glanced back and forth between seungmin and jaehyun, who had a wide smile on his face at the mention of his role model’s song. seungmin nodded and the staff started the music, jaehyun adding adlibs every now and then.

you and seungmin duetted, singing all the high notes together to showcase your guys’ vocals. you watched the others on the couch whistle and smile at how well you both did harmonizing together. jaehyun did the dance for standing next to you while you guys sang.

“that was great, as expected from two amazing vocalists”

jaehyun praised and clapped as did the other members who especially praised your vocals on such a hard song.

you continued to talk to the members about their fanbase, knowing how much most idols loved their fans to death. you yourself would know because you’d be nothing without fans.

in the middle of talking, you felt jaehyun silently lay a blanket over your lap as custom to cover your legs from the camera. though you couldn't show it, you were really happy jaehyun thought of the little things he could do to make you feel comfortable.

after live was over, you both chatted with everyone a little bit more before they had to go back to the greenroom. when they left, you and jaehyun smiled at each other, high fiving to celebrate your first successful live on mcountdown.

"thank you for everything today jaehyun. you helped me get through everything and you were so kind the entire way"

you thanked him earnestly. jaehyun smiled softly and waved his hands in denial.

"it was all you and your personality that made everything work. take some credit"

he praised and you blushed with a happy smile. you were surprised the live went so well, and you knew it was mostly thanks to jaehyun. nevertheless, you loved how he was so humble and sweet towards you.

"so are we meeting up later?"

he suddenly asked as you stood up to go back to the green room.

"are we?"

you were genuinely confused, sitting back down to talk. you hadn't made any plans with jaehyun that you remembered. jaehyun's eyes widened as he internally smacked himself over and over for forgetting.

"i'm so sorry i always go out to get food with hanbin and sohee after live"

he apologized profusely, which you thought was adorable.

"i wouldn't mind going out if you'd have me"

you admitted, a slight shake in your voice. you were worried about being rejected by jaehyun only to receive the opposite reaction.

"i'd love to! pick a place to eat and let me know okay? i'll come to your greenroom after recording the show"

jaehyun smiled and extended his hand out to you, helping you off the couch. you smiled and said your goodbyes before going back to your greenroom and picking a place to eat.

"it's okay for us to go somewhere to eat right? as long as we cover up a lot?"

you asked as your makeup artist touched up your makeup and she paused, thinking for a moment.

"i think it's okay. just don't be too close with him to the public eye"

she warned and you nodded, practically beaming at the thought of you getting to go out and eat with jaehyun. you had such a good time doing live that you just knew it would be an even better time as normal people just talking.

you decided on a pasta place with a private booth so you and jaehyun could eat comfortably without being seen or suspected by other people.

"how am i even supposed to contact him when i didn't get his number"

you groaned and tossed your phone on the couch. you glanced at your greenroom's TV and saw jaehyun smiling widely while talking to onedoors. you found yourself smiling along with him. jaehyun's smile is just that contagious.

as if your complaints were heard, a knock on your door caused you to eagerly jump up to go answer it.

"hey, i just finished recording"

jaehyun said with his usual wide smile. you laughed and invited him in to your greenroom so you could show him the place you found.

"i was craving pasta so i hope what i chose was okay"

you laughed nervously as you pulled the place up on your phone. jaehyun nodded furiously in reassurance, eliciting soft laughs from you seeing how silly he was.

"there's a private booth here so no one could suddenly recognize us"

jaehyun nodded and texted his manager.

"we can go together since we just did live. ready?"

you smiled and nodded, accepting his hand which pulled you up and out the door.

you two thankfully escaped through the back door so that fans weren't swarming and crowding around you guys, safely getting in the car and going to the place.

you and jaehyun sat in your respective seats, taking a nap together because doing live and recordings sucked so much energy out of you two. the manager had to darken the windows because it would be a little chaotic if people saw you and jaehyun leaning on each other to sleep.

jaehyun woke up as the car slowed down and saw you sleeping on his shoulder. he couldn't smile or show how happy he was since the manager was watching. he was afraid that the manager would prevent you guys from seeing each other if he knew about jaehyun's little crush.

nevertheless, jaehyun was screaming on the inside and was happy to let you keep sleeping until the manager found a parking spot.

you felt jaehyun nudge your shoulder a bit to wake you up and you rubbed the sleep out of your eyes, lifting your head from jaehyun’s shoulder. you didn’t seem to realize you were sleeping on jaehyun’s shoulder because of how sleepy you were, but jaehyun found it endearing all the same.

“it’s not very busy right now so let’s just hurry in”

jaehyun said as the manager hurriedly gestured for you two to rush inside. jaehyun left the car first to avoid any scandals and you left five minutes later to join jaehyun at the private booth you’d reserved.

“i haven’t had pasta in so long. you chose a great place”

jaehyun gushed, basking in the smell of pasta and bread from outside the door separating you from the rest of the restaurant. you giggled at how jaehyun’s stomach slightly rumbled, as did yours.

“so, how did you like doing live on mcountdown?”

jaehyun asked as he slowly started picking at his food, wanting to prolong your guys’ little dinner date for as long as he could without coming off as suspicious.

“it was really fun! i’ve liked stray kids for such a long time, and i’m happy you were so kind and energetic the entire time”

you said happily, making jaehyun smile and nod.

“i always see you in the elevator and you always came off as so shy, so i didn’t expect you to be so expressive on live today”

jaehyun admitted and you burst out laughing, making him pause abruptly when going to pick up a piece of bread.

“that was because of you! it felt like a dream seeing one of my seniors in the elevator with me so i was kind of shy when talking to you. not to mention you’re always talking to leehan when we’re there”

you giggled and jaehyun’s jaw dropped, forgetting about the piece of bread he just dropped on his plate.

“please don’t be shy. let’s get closer and talk more instead of leaving it up to seeing each other briefly in the elevator. i really want to get to know you”

jaehyun insisted, holding his pinky out to you. you wrapped yours around his, smiling softly in the process. you didn’t miss the hopeful glimmer in his eyes when you did.

“i promise i won’t be a stranger when we next meet. can i speak informally to you then?”

“yes, please do. even our woonhak doesn’t speak to us formally, so you shouldn’t have to either”

jaehyun deadpanned, making you laugh as you two continued eating. it was a comfortable night of eating with your little crush and getting to know each other better. jaehyun really was as sweet as he came off today, and he thought your personality was even lovelier than the fleeting glances of you he saw in the elevator.

just like that, you two got closer to being the tiniest bit more than friends, one small step at a time :)

#boynextdoor #han taesan #kim leehan #kim woonhak #lee riwoo #myung jaehyun #park sungho #bnd #bnd x reader #boynextdoor x reader #boynextdoor x y/n #taesan #leehan #woonhak #riwoo #jaehyun #jaehyun x reader #boynextdoor sungho #myungjae x reader

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pit-and-the-pen · 6 months ago

Text

I'll Crawl Home to Her- Chapter 2

Sorry this update took a little longer, I had some personal stuff going on and my work schedule was pretty packed this week.

Also, this is a fix-it fic. It'll be following the events of the whole series so buckle in y'all. Also also, I shit on Tamlin a lot in these next chapters but it has a purpose I promise!

Chapter warnings: Warnings: Mention of abuse/ trauma, one comment about weight in terms of said said abuse , minor blood

WC: 9.6K

Read the previous parts here

[prologue] [chapter 1]

Next Part [here]

“Rhys is the most handsome High Lord.” I read line after line of similar words. I rolled my eyes at my brother's antics.

“He’s sure laying it on thick.” I say as I sat down next to Feyre. She looks up from her writing and gives me a guarded laugh.

“At least I’m entertaining.” She huffs out.

“I can help you too, if you want. Give you a break from him.” She raises her eyebrow at me, studying me with a look that made me want to sink in on myself.

“Why?” She asks sharply

I willed my temper down. “Because despite what Tamlin might tell you, we’re not evil,” I spit out at her, she doesn’t flinch even slightly at the venom in my voice. “And you’re going to be here once a month for the foreseeable future. I’d like us to at least tolerate each other. Plus, it would piss off my brother.” Her eyes shone with mischief.

“You should have started with that.” And that was that. I pushed Rhys’ papers to the side and picked out a few books that had been my favorite. The plots are interesting enough to make up for the basic words used. Feyre caught on fairly easily. She could recognize almost all of the basic words but struggled to read them out loud. Not fully understanding how the sounds mashed together. We sat and read, and then when that got to be too much for her we just started talking. It was nothing deep, not really gossip either. Just casual words thrown back and forth until she asks out of the blue. “What’s the deal with Tamlin and Rhys?” I froze into stillness only fae possessed. Sensing my discomfort she backtracked. “You don’t have to tell me. I shouldn’t have asked.” Her voice held a little edge of fear. I forced my shoulders to relax.

“No, you have every right to ask. It’s…complicated. You’re walking into centuries old distrust and unfortunately, are caught in the middle.” It wasn’t fair to her to be caught in all of this old shit. That was our baggage and I could see it was affecting her but she pressed on.

“But why do they hate each other so much?”

“I’m not the best person to ask.” She narrowed her eyes at my non-answer. I sighed. “We’ve both done some terrible things to each other's courts, the wounds run deep and that’s all I’ll tell you.”

“Why?” She would not let up.

“Because you love Tamlin. And I don’t want you to think I’m trying to ruin whatever picture you have of him.” That really seemed to pique her curiosity.

“You had a different experience with him?” It felt like she had punched me in the stomach. No. That’s the problem, I had the exact same experience with him and I ended up just as broken as I can see you’re becoming.

“That’s not a story for today.” I tried to keep the shake out of my voice and maybe it was that, or the fear I know I couldn’t keep off of my face that made her drop the subject with a small, “okay”.

It was lunch time before we decided to take a break. “Do you want to eat here or go out with the others?”

“Rhys will just pull me out if I don’t.”

“My brother can fuck off. What do you want to do?” I saw a ghost of a smile twitch across her face. So we ate in the library. I left only long enough to stack up two plates full of food. Rhys took in the amount of food I was grabbing,

“Hungry today?” I only stuck my tongue out at him and walked back out of the room.

Rhys joined us a little after lunch. If he was surprised to still see me in here, he didn’t let it show. I didn’t leave until Feyre told me she was okay with me doing so.

It was probably overkill to be so protective of her, Rhys was the last person who would ever try to hurt her or anything like that but she was still uneasy around him. She hid it well with the sheer disdain she showed him but I could tell from the rigidness of her shoulders and that slight edge in her voice. But there was also something else there that I couldn’t put my finger on.

Feyre had stayed in the library long after their meeting. I found her hunched over another book, finger slowly tracing over the words. She hardly looked up as I placed another plate of food in front of her and went to walk out of the room. She didn’t call after me and I was okay with that. Scared she might start another round of questions.

I didn’t see much of her after that. So I traveled back and forth between Velaris. Spending half my time at the manor and the other half actually doing my job as researcher. I really didn’t have to work but it gave me something to fill up my days. Before Amarantha I spent most of my time helping Cassian manage the Illyrians, from the background of course. Being the High Lords sister did not save me from their views on females. So I only showed up when necessary, Azriel and Cassian always following behind me. They learned fast enough to keep their tongues in check if they wanted to keep them in their mouths.

Currently I was looking at old maps of Prythian. Combining through records for landscapes and t river patterns. Where the boundaries have shifted over time. And then came the daunting task of trying to pick out recountings of the old war. Figuring out who does best with what court. Prepping for the outcome we were all dreading, another war with Hybern.

“I don’t understand what you’re trying to get from these books.” Cassian said, absently flipping through the large leather bound book I had just placed to the side.

“Anything. Weakness, strengths, strategies, gods, anything.” I said leaning back. I knew I had to take a break, when I closed my eyes I could still see the words swirling in the blackness behind my eyelids. I took a deep breath and went to look at the giant map I had covered my desk with. Pins and markers to recount every movement during the last war.

“Do you really think that it’s going to help?” I know he wasn’t trying to be rude. His voice was soft when he asked and my shoulders sunk in slightly.

“I don’t know. But if it does…” He nodded in understanding. Azriel knocked lightly on the door, making both Cas and I jump. He had learned to knock now after he had to dodge out of the way of the book I had launched at him last week. I still haven't reaccustomed myself to how quiet his footsteps could be. A skill I had once prided myself on, I had even been able to pick up on those silent footsteps and find him before he wanted to be seen.

“Just wanted to remind you two to eat.” He looked at the books strewn across the table, taking note of the one Cassian was still flipping through, playing with truly. “I know how you can get when you’re focused. Time for food.” He smiled at the shy look I gave him from being called out. Many times he had to drag me out of my office when I really got into something. His smile made me think he was remembering those times too.

“If we go, will you two stop making eyes at each other?” Cassian spoke up, making me break away from Azriel’s stare.

“We were not.” I responded, trying to tame the blush in my cheeks. Get it together. I told myself as I forced myself to turn to Cas. His eye roll was the only answer I got. Azriel had already started walking down the hall and I slapped Cassian on the arm.

“You’re so annoying sometimes Cas.”

“And you love me for it.” He gave me a loud, wet peck on the cheek and gave a full head-thrown-back laugh when I made a big show of wiping it off.

I didn't return to the other house that night. Opting to stay with my friends. One of whom, Cassian, had gone into the wine cellar and returned with his arms almost full of the expensive bottles. I just laughed as he shot me a wink. I blew him a kiss back as I settled down on the couch besides Mor.

We didn’t bother getting glasses, passing the bottles around while we talked about absolutely nothing, acting like we had during our teenage years. It was later in the night before Rhys appeared in the living room. He took one look at all of us and rolled his eyes before he swiped the bottle out of my hand and brought it to his lips.

Mor and I were fully supporting each other's weight on the couch, I couldn’t tell who was leaning against who more but our giggles started to get louder and more frequent. She whispered to me so quietly I had to strain to hear her. “Stop staring at him.” And we fell into another fit of giggles.

She was right though, everytime Azriel talked I could feel how my eyes stayed locked on him. Reminding myself to breathe when he pulled the bottle to his lips. I pushed off of Mor and went to stand up, wobbling slightly as my feet touched the ground. Azriel made a move like he was going to catch me if I took a face first dive on the carpet but when I steadied myself, he moved back. It happened so fast I wonder if I imagined it.

“I think it’s bedtime.” I said, mouth feeling mushy as the words came out. Mor laughed again and I turned to face her and gave her a rude gesture. I offered that same hand to pull her up to her feet and she pouted before taking it. Everyone seemed to get the hint that it was late so all of us in our various drunken states started the climb up the stairs to our rooms. Good nights thrown through the hallways, Cassian all but screaming it to make sure Mor and I heard him. The sound made us flinch before laughing again as I closed the door to my room.

---------------------

Before I knew it Feyre’s week was officially up. She had demanded to be brought back home and I fought down the biting comments I wanted to make as Rhys agreed. I stepped besides the pair and she looked over to me for a brief second before pretending that neither of us existed.

“You don’t have to come with me. Rhys spoke into my mind and replied with a shake of my head. I could do this for Feyre. Despite every part of my body screaming at me for bringing her back to the Spring court, if she could be brave then so could I. He sighed at my stubbornness but knew that there was no changing my mind.

We weren’t going far. Simply dropping her at the border of spring and summer and making sure she got into the manor. I could manage that. Yet as we were getting ready to winnow in, I felt my hands go clammy. I remember me saying I’ll never go back there willingly.

The smell was the first thing that hit me. The overwhelming floral scent. I could smell the roses from the outside of the manor this far away, their sheer number coating the air with a smell that threatened to suffocate me on the spot.

“Goodbye, Feyre.” She had already started walking before he finished speaking, not sparing so much as a glance back to us. So we stood and watched her retreating figure until those wooden doors closed behind her. That was that.

We didn’t return to Hewn city, instead winnowing outside the townhome.

Rhys didn’t stay to greet our friends. Instead, he all but ran up the stairs to either go to his study or his room. Everyone gave me a tentative look before I shrugged and sprawled out on the couch besides Azriel.

He didn’t try to pull away from me. Instead, he lifted his hands from their spot on his lap. His way of telling me I could place my legs up so I didn’t have to sit awkwardly to avoid his wings. I did and I ignored how happy that little gesture made me. Over the last few weeks he seemed to be able to handle being around me again.

Cassian started rapid firing questions at me. What is she like? She threw what at Rhys? Anything for scraps of what their brother's mate was actually like. Sure they had gotten the story of her trials but this was different, getting to know who she actually was. Cassian seemed pleased to know she was still just as head strong. “Maybe someone will finally humble him a little.” He chuckled

Rhys spoke up as he entered the room. “Who’s humbling who?” He picked at an invisible piece of lint on his shoulder. The only sign of how upset sending Feyre back had made him.

Cassian didn’t answer but instead asked “Did she really throw a shoe at you?” He laughed when Rhys shot me a dirty look. Answering the question for him. “I want to meet her.” Cassian said and I swore he was almost pouting.

Rhys sighed, “And have you scare her off.” Cassian looked hurt so Rhys added, “Let her get more adjusted to me before we add all of this into the mix. Besides, she cannot see Velaris. Not when…” not when she came back to Tamlin. Not when she could still spill every little secret of ours to one of our biggest enemies.

Cas looked like he wanted to argue but only said “Princess gets to see her.”

“Because I have a winning personality.” I smiled at him and he launched one of the small pillows from his chair at me. I managed to deflect it but as it bounced off my arm it hit Azriel square in the face. I bit down my laughter at his faux outraged face. He threw it back and before I knew it, they were yelling at each other, well Cas was yelling and Azriel was trying his hardest not to laugh.Sensing a fight was emanate, I pushed off of Azriel and spoke loudly over the two Illyrian males.

“Outside if you’re going to fight.” Even Armen, who had stalked into the room around as Rhys laughed at that.

Cassian turned to me, his temper still flaring. “We’re not dogs.”

“Last time you both fought in the house, I was cleaning up glass for a week.” I raised an eyebrow at him, challenging him to say otherwise.

Azriel spared Cassian from having to respond. “C’mon.” He said, pulling Cassian to what I could only assume was the training ring.

“I forgot how much you look like Rhys when you get bossy.” Cassian said as he was pulled from the room. And my responding gesture made the rest of the room go up in laughs. Rhys followed them out. Probably needing to get rid of his own tension and Armen had snuck back into the research room.

I didn’t have it in me to just stare at maps all day long, regardless of knowing how much I needed to. So I just stayed in the living room, a random book from the shelf pulled onto my lap.

Rhys came back first, hair only slightly disheveled, wings out proudly. “Once I get out of the bath, it’s time for your training.” I huffed and he could sense I was about to argue with him. “Cassian and Azriel told me you can’t use your powers.” Traitors. “So we’re going to figure out what the hel is wrong.”

Less than an hour later I was sitting in Rhys’ study. A small candle flickering in front of me, taunting me to snuff it out. I pulled and pulled for any of the small dark tendrils to do so but found nothing. Sweat was beginning to form on my brow with how hard I was concentrating.

Rhys huffed in frustration at my lack of progress. “It was easier teaching Feyre to read.”

“Then by all means, go back to that. I’d love to see her throw another shoe at you.” I bit back at him and he just rolled his eyes.

“Try again.” He went right back to business, ignoring my statement. I really did try. I Have been trying. That rich darkness that normally lingered under my skin seemed like it was hidden behind a wall. Just out of my grasp, so close I could almost taste it, almost touch it. I yelped as I reached out towards it. Pain flickering through my body as if it had burned me. Rhys’ hand on my shoulder snapped me out of whatever had happened. Sweat broke across my skin and I flinched as I felt my magic fight against the wall inside my head.

“What’s happening?” I spoke to my brother. He just stared at me before I felt a phantom knock at my mental shields. I forced them open and almost screamed at the pain that flooded through me. I knew the moment he found it. Felt that sickening thread of magic that never released when the spell broke for the other high lords. Rhys’ presence in my head retreated and we could only look at each other. No words to be found between us.

“Fuck.” The first word he uttered and I somehow found it in myself to laugh.

“That bad?”

“Good news is there’s not a physical block. No magic stopping you.” So why did he still look like death froze over? “Bad news, you’re the block.”

“Go on?”

“I don’t fully know but it looks like your magic is being tied up by your own magic.”

“So, you’re saying. I’m the problem?”

“I’ve been saying that your whole life but yes, especially in this case.” He teased, trying to lighten the new tension in the air. I bite

“Well then that simply means you’re going to be stuck with me a lot more. That or I go to Helion.” He rolled his eyes at the mention of the other high lord, one who has been trying for the last few centuries to get me into his bed.

“Maybe.” shit. It must be serious if he’s actually willing to let Helion help. “Let’s hope it doesn’t come down to that.” He says solemnly and points back to the candle. I stare at him for a moment before sighing and trying to cover the light again.

We sit as I try again and again and again. Nothing besides a small puff of black smoke to let us know that I’m even trying. Right as I’m about to say something I see Rhys flinch and his eyes flare with anger. Only not at me, his eyes look far away as that anger homes in on whatever must have made his shoulders tense.

I see his eyes come back into focus and I don’t even have to ask before he’s spilling. “He hurt her.” I don’t need him to say who. “I can tell it’s nothing serious but I got nothing but pure fear from her.” Rhys had already explained that the bargain amplified the usual effects of the mating bond. That he could sometimes get whiffs of any strong emotion from Feyre. Fear, anger, mostly fear but as her nightmares have started to fade I haven't heard much about it. My stomach curls and I try to will my hands to not shake as my mind drifts to the endless possibilities of what could have happened.

“It’ll be okay. She’s strong.” The words felt wrong in my mouth and Rhys said the very thing I had been thinking.

“You were strong.”

“Well you can’t very well march in there and get her.” I saw the look on his face. “You can’t, we can’t. And she still doesn’t want us. Unless it feels like that first time…” He shook his head. So not as bad. Still bad, still awful enough for her to send fear down the bond but not bad enough that Rhys could only hear her screaming for someone to get her out of there. So we both let it go, ignored the thoughts that told every part of us to go help this girl from whatever Tamlin was inflicting. But even I knew that Tamlin’s anger comes from his love. That anger so wrapped in fear that something will happen that he almost wills those incidents into existence.

We spend hours trying to break whatever block is in my head until I’m grumpy and all but biting his head off at every little comment he makes. He bites right back at me and I know there's no point in this anymore, both of us too on edge to do anything productive. Throwing his hands up in surrender he doesn’t stop me as I storm out of his study. I run head first into Azriel on my way to my room, his hands resting on my arms so I don’t topple over.

“Training went that well.” He says with a small chuckle. The noise sends a low growl from my throat and he takes his hands off of me. “We’ll figure this out.” He says and I continue my path to my room, not staying long enough to see the concern in his eyes.

I was still grumpy by the time that dinner rolled around but I managed to pull myself out of bed. My head is pounding from the strain and whatever Rhys did inside my mind. I throw on the first thing I find, still in my thin nightgown I pulled on after my bath, and head down to dinner. I don’t say much and not even Cassian tries to cheer me up, all he does is remind me that I’m joining them for training in the morning. I don’t respond with anything other than stabbing the chicken on my plate with extra force.

---------------------

I struck the center of the dummy and looked over for Cassian for any semblance of approval. He gave me a bored look and I stomped over to the stupid thing and pulled all three of the daggers out of it. Cas wanted me to get back up to snuff with long range before he put a sword in my hand again. I had never needed the sword that I kept strapped to my back on the missions I would accompany Azriel on, always having my powers to stop anyone from getting that close in the first place. Between Azriel shadows and my blanket of darkness, very rarely did we ever need anything more than truth teller.

I grunted in frustration as the sharp metal flew through my fingers time after time, all of them hitting the center of the target.

“Fuck this Cas, I did the warm ups, I did the exercises. Let me fight.” I needed to do something more than this. If I couldn’t use my powers, if they never came back, I needed to be useful. In no world would I just sit around and let my friends risk death while I sat around playing with my maps. Cassian must have heard the desperation in my voice because he agreed.

We circled each other and I got a rare glimpse of Cassian with no restraint. This was the war general that scared people just by being on the battlefield. I tried not to let the frision of fear show as he surveyed every inch of me, seemingly reading my body language like I was screaming my next moves at him. I didn’t stand a chance. His fist made contact with my nose before I could turn out of the way and I fell to the ground. My hand went up and when I pulled it back, my fingers were sticky with my blood. Cassian was instantly in front of me, mumbling out apologies. I held up my hand to stop him from talking.

“Cassian.” A stern voice called out as I ran my hand along my nose again, feeling for any breaks. “What did you do to her?” Azriel’s voice was full of concern as he knelt besides Cassian.

“Alright bat brains. I’m not dying,” I started to stand up and they both reached out their hands to help me up, I swatted them away and brushed off the dust on my pants. “It’s not the first time I’ve been too slow before, and it’s not going to be the last.” They both stared at me and I rolled my eyes. “C’mon. I still have to beat you Cas.” He shook his head laughing and Azriel shot him a glare.

Cassian, never one to back down from a challenge, and never one to miss an opportunity to piss off Azriel, agreed to go back into the ring with me. He coached me through it this time, slowing down his punches to explain how to predict them and block them. All things that I knew but just needed more practice. By the end of the hour I was covered in sweat but I was able to block him without his guidance. Azriel didn’t leave either, hanging back to watch, adding his own little tips and tricks to help me get some advantage over Cassian but I still couldn’t get him to budge an inch.

“Do you want to get in with her then?” Cassian shouted to Azriel as he continued to assist me from the side lines. I made a motion for Cassian to stop as I tried to catch my breath. Placing my hands on my knees and sucking in screaming breaths.

“I think I’m done.” I panted out.

“If you wanted me to make you breathless princess, all you had to do was ask.” He winked and tossed a canteen full of water over to me. I drank half of it in one long gulp and forced myself to stand up straight. My muscles were already crying out in protest. Tomorrow was going to suck for sure.

The three of us walked back up to the house, laughing and joking and I felt proud of the progress I was making. Even if the dried blood still on my hands might have suggested otherwise.

---------------------

A month went by so fast, I had to tick off the days to make sure I was right.I woke up to Rhys preparing to collect Feyre from the spring court again. Rhys didn’t ask me to go with him this time, after that last flood of emotions he knew he would have a hard time containing himself let alone both of us.

I was already waiting at the house for when they got back, ready to play mediator if need be. They had barely materialized before my brother was fussing over Feyre. The two bickered back and forth but from the way she looked over herself, I knew even she could hear the worry in his voice. She had lost more weight since the last time she had been here. The shadows under her eyes creeped back onto her pale skin. “Eat breakfast with me.” He said and I shifted from my place in the living room. Mor was somewhere in the house after her visit to the Court of Nightmares yesterday. Probably still decompressing with the bottle of wine she took with her to bed.

I gave Feyre a small smile and she didn’t return it, but she didn’t glare at me either. It’s a step at least. The female in front of me gave a heavy sigh after weighing Rhys offer. The growl I heard come from her stomach seemed to make the decision for her. I didn’t follow them, if she had wanted me to I would have been able to tell. So I stayed close enough that I could swoop in and save her from my brother's overprotectiveness if need be. The glimpses of their conversation I caught weren’t the best but I stilled completely as I caught,

“I was tortured, beaten and fucked until only I could tell myself who I was, what I was protecting. Please- help me keep that from happening again. To Prythian.” My heart ached at the words. He had had it so much worse than I did, regardless of what people might believe. I could see it on his face during some of his bad days, the scars of what Amarantha did to him. I didn’t listen to her response as I walked to my room.

I found Feyre the next day as I had the last time, hunched over the table with more lines from Rhys to read. She was copying them in better handwriting than she had before. When I approached she didn’t so much as look up at me. I called her name gently and still nothing. So I took that as my sign to let her be. Rhys had gotten called to the war camps later that day.

“Just look after her please. I know she’s fine but let me know if either of you need anything.” He blabbered as I all but pushed him out the door.

“We’ll be fine, you overprotective mother hen.” His face fell slightly and I couldn’t stand that look on his face. “I’ll let you know if she needs anything, okay? Now go be a High Lord.” I saw a hint of a smile as he winnowed out of the house.

I tried to stay out of her way. Whatever bit of goodwill she had allowed me last time seemingly disappeared. So I kept bringing her books when she ran out of the ones Rhys had given her, brought her food and left her to her own devices. Today, she didn’t give me a glare as I sat down in the armchair on her left. I opened my own book without giving her a second glance. The small hmph she made was the only indication she had even noticed my presence. She didn’t want to talk and quite frankly, neither did I, perfectly content with getting lost in our own books.

It was around midday and the sun was just starting to peek through the heavy curtains of the library when I felt Rhys appear in the room. In his hands were trays of food which he presented to Feyre. A small thank you left her lips and I wanted to smack that smug look on Rhys face as he teased her. But then I saw his face get serious and I suddenly felt very much like I was intruding on a private moment. “Tell me how I can help you.” His voice was scratchy and I knew he was trying to hold back tears, to keep the conversation casual enough that she wouldn’t shut him out again. I truly did try to tune them out but these were the same things I had been wanting to say to her all week but couldn’t find the strength.

“If you fall apart then the bitch wins. All of that is for nothing and she wins.” Rhys said plainly and Feyre flinched before going back to her book. I could tell that she was talking to him in her mind. My eyes grew wide when I saw that slight layer of frost cover the book cover. Rhys barely had time to dodge said book as it was thrown right at his head. It bounced harmlessly to the floor and I stifled a laugh. The laugh died in my throat when I saw the flicker of flames in her palms and I tried to reach my mind out to Rhys, he all but threw me out.

Feyre and Rhys left later that day. I didn’t offer to come with, didn’t want to come with. Just like last time when Rhys returned to Velaris, he stalked to his office and hid out for the rest of the evening. I only got close enough to the door to leave a plate of food outside before retreating back to my side of the house. His emotions pouring through the door were enough to give me a headache, the way it felt like I was walking into a brick wall. I didn’t try to talk to him for the rest of the day. Instead choosing to pull my attention back to the map in my study.

I had been neglecting it to focus on Feyre and Rhys but I knew it’s just because I wasn’t getting anywhere. No matter how many books I read, I couldn’t think of anything that would help us win this war. Not without all seven courts working together and I knew Hel would freeze over before that ever happened.

So I read until my eyes became blurry and heavy. My head had gotten so heavy like the words were getting stuck and wouldn’t leave. When I felt my eyes starting to close and knocking on the door jostled me awake. I saw the shadows before I saw him, too tired to notice that they had time to take in my current state and report back to Az.

“You should take a break.” He said as he went to pull up a chair at the table I was sitting at.

“I can’t take a break when I haven’t found anything yet.” I whined at him. “I’m supposed to be good at this, I am good at this. Or at least I was.” I slumped in my chair and I saw that familiar look of concern flash through his warm amber eyes. He sat there, I could almost see the gears in his brain turning, his shadows starting to swirl around the floor like soothing waves. I stared at them and felt my mind calm slightly. He sighed and leaned back in his chair, wings flapping behind him.

We just sat there in silence for a few moments and then he stood up suddenly. My eyes tracked the movement, following his arm as he extended a hand to me. It was like my brain short circuited at the gesture. He had to clear his throat before I snapped out of it and I timidly placed my hand in his. He led me out of my office and I felt his shadows on my heels. “Where are we going?” I laughed at how ridiculous this must look, one of the fiercest Illyrian warriors towing someone behind him like an excited kid.

“Just be quiet. You’ll know when we get there.” His own voice full of an almost giddy excitement. So I let him pull me along. All the way outside until it clicked. There was a little patch of grass beside the Sidra that I loved to sit by when the weather was just starting to turn warm. Our little group used to spend free days out on that field, just soaking in the warmth. He gave me a proud smirk when we finally reached that stretch of grass. “Now, you’re going to sit and just enjoy being out here.”

“Is that an order?” I teased and he didn’t miss a beat.

“If that means you’ll actually do it, then yes.” I sat and looked out over the river. The lights and sounds of the city walk could just trickle in, becoming a lovely hum in the back of my mind. I patted the spot next to me and Azriel sat beside me. I curled my knees up to my chest and rested my chin on top of them. Just looking at the city I loved so much. We didn’t talk, Azriel was always good for that. He knew when I needed the quiet. The sound of the small waves helped clear my head and after a while I felt my shoulders sink down, the tension lightening. It was still there of course but became more manageable as I could smell the water and Azriel’s pine and fresh air scent. It wrapped its way around me and held me like my favorite blanket.

“Thank you.” I said, breaking the comfortable silence. We didn’t look at each other, still staring out at the city just ahead.

“Of course. Anything for you,” He cleared his throat, “For one of my friends.” I bit down the string at that little word. I fought the urge to put some distance between us at the feeling that flooded me. The cruel reminder of just exactly how he saw me. So I just pulled my legs in tighter and ignored all the thoughts of him that began to take over.

We didn’t head back to the house until sundown. The pair of us walked under the flickering faelights that lined the streets. It still blows my mind how much the city changed while I was gone. I told him that much. And he shrugged off the tiny complement.

“Rhys and I will never be able to thank you enough for how much you all did while we were…gone.” My voice felt tight as I finished, “You kept our home safe when we couldn’t.” He turned to look at me and went to say something but stopped himself. His face looked slightly pained, in that concerned way he always managed. He shook his head slightly.

“You did more than we ever could. You and Rhys gave us a chance to have something to protect in the first place.” In his words, I was pulled back to that night when it had all gone to shit. How Cassian and Azriel were out dealing with the camps and how I couldn’t convince Rhys not to go so I insisted that I come along. I had to beg him to let me come with him and he still wasn’t happy about it. We walked right into a trap and before most of his power had been ripped away from him he wiped the memory of Velaris from everyone who was under the mountain and let our friends know what was happening, how they couldn’t come after us without leaving Velaris unguarded.

Azriel’s small nudge to my shoulder pulled me back to the present and his eyes asked the question before he needed to.

“I’m okay.” But I felt how my arms had wrapped around myself but he didn’t say anything about it, letting me have my space. We reached the house again and I could hear Cassian and Mor’s voices floating down the hallway. The sound alone plastered a smile on my face. Azriel followed behind me as I rounded the corner and Cassian all but cheered when he saw me. “There you are princess, we went to pull you out of your study but it seems someone beat us to it.” He gave me a small wink and I laughed at the joke behind it. I shook my head as I sat down next to Mor who was already pouring me a glass of wine.

Rhys spoke to me across the table, “I peaked in and saw the map, tomorrow if you’re up for it I want all of us to go over it.” I nodded and he smiled at me. And we all ate and joked and I left the love I felt for the people in the room washed over me like the waves in the Sidra.

---------------------

“So if it comes down to war. Who do we have?” Rhys turned to Cassian and myself. We were all sitting around the map I had been working on, face grim as I explained the various markings.

“The Illyrians don’t have a choice. The court of nightmares should. We kept up pretty well with Dawn and Day. Winter…” His voice trailed off. I still remember Kallias’ face as the news broke of the attack on Winter. The thousands of babes dead by Amarantha’s hand. The pure loathing his face held as he looked at Rhys.

“I can talk to them.” I had always liked Kallias. And from the little bit I’ve heard since our return home, he finally married Viviane after being friends since childhood. Viviane was sweet and her, Mor and I had been known to get ourselves in trouble when together. If she would listen, Winter would come around.

“Autumn and Spring are lost causes.” Cassian sighed beside me, slumping down in his chair.

“Tamlin is delusional enough to think it would keep him safe.” And keep Feyre safe. But I didn’t say that outloud. “Beron is…well Beron. Unless we think we can pursue one of the brothers to take him out of the equation, I think it’s better to not plan for them.”

“Summer?” Rhys asked pointedly ignoring Cas’ words on the other seasonal courts.

“Tarquin is new and young. He’ll side with the majority. But I think I could talk to him and at least see where his loyalties lie.” I had only talked to the new high lord a few times during our time under the mountain. He seemed nice enough, one of the few people who was even willing to talk to me at all. No fear of the role I had been forced into and hoped he would side with us. Hoped his newness wouldn’t scare him into the easy choice.”

“I don’t like the idea of having two courts fighting against us.” Azriel finally spoke up. I had almost forgotten he was in the room but his shadow currently sitting at my feet should have been reminder enough. “Hybern has the armies he needs and if he has the cauldron….”

“So what do you suggest?” My brother asked, head in his hands.

“We talk to them. Let them know that we won’t win this if we’re not unified. Remind them that we fought a war once to avoid this very thing and some courts were on the wrong side of history then and would be now.” I spoke plainly, it was the only answer. If it had been anyone else the idea would have been shot down. But Rhys just let out a heavy breath and nodded.

“We’ll wait until we’re sure. Some courts will refuse to believe there will be a war until it’s staring them in the face.” The tone in Rhys’ voice letting us know this meeting was over. We all stayed in the room, the same exhausted look sat on our faces. “Good work.” Rhys said to me as he studied the map again. “You got all of this from books?” I had been too young to remember most of the war, let alone fight in it. But at least someone had thought it smart to recount all of it in very exact detail, I just managed to translate to current day Prythian. Rhys was silently nodding to himself as he really studied the map. The others slowly filter out of the room, leaving Rhys and I alone studying the map.

“And these?” He pointed to the orange marks I had drawn all over.

“Trade agreement routes, the thicker the line, the more movement there is through that path. They would be the most vulnerable areas since people know them so well. They’re also normally the quickest way between courts.” I pointed out more of the lines and pins. I had so much marked off, down to what ways the rivers flowed and where their currents changed. Rhys just drank in all the information I threw at him, only nodding along to the explanations. I was about to start on another part of the map before I saw his face freeze.

Rhys had completely stilled besides me. That all-too-familiar far-away look on his. When I raised my eyebrow at him, “What is it? Is it…” He didn’t wait for me to finish, instead he let me into his mind and I almost flinched at whatever feeling Feyre was sending him. The crushing agony and pure terror. It was a feeling I knew all too well. These weren't the few stray glimpses Feyre had sent him while they were separated. This was the very thing all of us were holding our breath for, hoping it never happened.

“Rhys we can’t just ignore it this time.” I spoke, already leaving the table. His hand wrapped around my wrist, making me pause.

“If you storm in there, Tamlin has every right to declare a war.”

“And we’ll have every right to kill his sorry ass. Something that we could have done decades ago.” I spit back at my brother.

“Please.” His voice shook with fear. Scared for Feyre and maybe for me. I put my hands up in surrender. I couldn’t argue against the tone in his voice.

“So how do you want to do this then?” I asked him and we started planning.

In less than 10 minutes Mor had winnowed right on the border of spring and summer. Rhys had insisted that she come along to help. Her status would help blanket us from any repercussions. Plus her powers would come in handy if any of the guards found us. So her and I snuck into that manor I had sworn I would never see again. Do it for Feyre. Be brave for her. I said to myself as my own terror rose to a fever pitch.

I could see the darkness already pouring out of the house. My anger quickly turned into fear. What did he do to her? The voice in my head screamed. Rhys had already broken the wards and whatever was locking her inside the house. Mor knocked out the guards before they could spot us. When we finally entered the house my blood ran cold. Sitting in a ball of inky darkness was Feyre. Her screams pierced something deep inside of me. I looked around and locked eyes with Alis. Her eyes wide as she took in my face.

“He locked her in the house. I tried to…Please just keep her safe.” Was all the older fae had said to me.

My heart warmed at the concern in her voice. The same concern she had once shown me. I nodded and walked towards Feyre. Whatever darkness she was wielding seemed to only be for her and as I shook her shoulder, gently saying her name they retreated slightly. I looked over to Mor who only gave me a small nod. Taking her cue, I picked up the shaking female and was startled by how light she felt. Mor spoke up from beside me. “Your guards are going to have a hell of a headache when they wake up.”

Alis nodded in understanding and I added. “Don’t tell him where we took her. Please.” And for a second I felt just as broken as the female in my arms. I knew she would tell him, and would have to tell him but a small part of me wished she wouldn’t. But that was unfair to expect of her. It reminded me too much of the same hope I had when I left. Face sunken in and heart broken as I begged her to not tell Tamlin I was leaving. No one was there to help me and I’ll be damned if Feyre ever felt that pain. I didn’t say another word as Mor winnowed us right in front of the border. It felt like I could finally breathe again as the scent shifted to ripe fruit and salt water that marked us as safe. Marked us in summer. Feyre shifted in my arms and mumbled something softly.

Mor soothed a hand through her hair. “You’re free.”

Rhys quickly scoped Feyre from my arms without so much as a word. He looked at Mor and I

“We did everything by the book.” Rhys nodded before I felt the air whoosh around my ears and I knew we had made it home. Rhys deftly climbed the stairs to take Feyre to her room and I just stood staring at my brother back. I blocked out the memories that began to rise to the surface. The scar on my arm prickled and when my other hand raised to scratch at the angry white lines that trailed down my forearm, Mors hand wrapped against mine. Grounding me in the present.

“She’s free.” She repeated to me.

“Thank the mother.” I responded as I started to climb the stairs suddenly bone tired.

Feyre didn’t emerge from her room that night or the next morning. More than once I found myself standing outside her door, hand held up to knock but some part of my brain told me not to. Rhys hasn't left her side the whole time she was asleep. Whatever magic she had used in the house had exhausted her and I felt my heart pang for her. How alone she must have felt, how scared she must have been to be locked in that house. I remember my simple panic the first time I went to the basement of the townhouse. How it transported me back to under the mountain, I couldn’t imagine how it felt to be locked away again.

When I finally did see her, she seemed to have gotten a little color back. Enough so that she was able to argue with Rhys again. I didn’t linger this time to hear the fight, letting them duke it out in private. But as Rhys turned the corner, I knew something that happened. Something important.

”We’re going home.”

If someone had told me two months ago that Feyre would be standing in the living room of our home in Velaris I would have probably keeled over laughing. But here we were, Feyre’s eyes flickering from spot to spot in the house. I couldn’t get a read on her face but before I could even process that, I heard a pounding on the door. Cassian’s voice filtering through the wood, already complaining. Rhys shot me a look that said deal with them please. He tried to hide it but I could tell he was waiting for Feyre’s reaction to her surroundings. A hint of anything to gauge how she was feeling. He needed her to like this place like he needed to breathe. So I excused myself from the room and slipped out the front door.

”Are you serious Cas?”

”I want to meet her. She’s right there, my brothers m-” I cut him off, blocking both him and Azriel from trying to peek into the house. They could easily push right past me but stayed a healthy distance.

”Do not finish that sentence. Do you want all of Velaris to know?” I whispered screamed at him and he rolled his eyes.

”I promise you drama queen, no one’s up this early. I don’t want to be up this early.”

After a few minutes of us bickering back and forth, Rhys opened the door and said to us, “Are you all just going to stand there?”

Cassian all but trampled me trying to get in the house. I laughed when I saw his crestfallen face as he noticed Feyre was no longer in the room. “She was here right?” He spoke to the room.

”Maybe she’s scared of your good looks Cas, can’t have her falling in love with the wrong Illyrian bastard now can we?” I shot Rhys a wink and he growled lightly.

”She’ll meet you when she’s ready.” Was all he said before he rangled all of us into the dining room.

Feyre slept for the rest of the morning. She came down the stairs dressed in Night Court clothes and I felt my breath catch in my throat. The way they seemed to compliment her well enough and I had to bite my tongue to prevent me from pointing that out. Rhys met her at the door and shot me a vulgar gesture at my sugary sweet, “Be safe kids.” That I called out from my spot on the couch. I sat on the couch until the sun started to set. I had just got to the good part and debated even going to the dinner at all but I was dying to see how Feyre would handle our crazy family. If she had any chance at surviving here, she needed to like them or they would drive her crazy. Although from Cassian’s earlier words that might be the case either way. So I groaned and pulled myself off the couch, pulling on the first thing that I saw and winnowed with Mor to the front steps of the house.

Azriel and Cassian were waiting to fly us up. Cassian wrapped his arm around Mor’s waist and Azriel did the same to me. I hardly felt my feet leave the ground before he was already placing me down in front of the door. I had not had the heart to come here since I’ve been home. Too many memories for me to want to come alone and Mor grabbed my hand as she pulled me through the threshold. We had just settled in before I heard the faint trails of Rhys and Feyre voices outside the door. I couldn’t stop the two males from bounding to the door, they flung it open to reveal a very annoyed looking Rhys. I held my breath as she stood in the doorway, eyes searching for something and she landed on me. She squared her shoulders but Cassian was already speaking.

”I promise we won't bite.”

Last I heard, Cassian, no one has taken you up on that offer.” And I laughed as Feyre’s face blanched. I didn’t miss the way the female's eyes raked over the Illyrians as they stepped into the light. I tried not the bristle as her eyes lingered on Azriel just a fraction longer than I would have liked. Rhys introduced the two and it was Feyres response to one of his questions that made me feel a frision of pride.

”How the hell did you manage to survive this long without anyone killing you?” She would fit right in and Cassian’s booming laugh told me that very same thing. Armen had appeared almost out of thin air as we all made our way to the table.

Feyre was slowly filled in about how the three brothers had met. Her eyes flickered to me during the story.

”Where do you fit into all of this, besides being his sister.” She quickly added. Everyone seemed to be waiting for me to answer.

”I mean there's not much else to it besides that. He got stuck with them so I did too. I nearly knocked Cassian's teeth in the first time I met him and I’ve been stuck with them ever since.” I stuck my tongue out at Cassian who rolled his eyes.

”You mean you broke your fist trying to, princess. I had to nurse you back to health and you were helpless but to fall for my charm.” Now it was my turn to roll my eyes and I fought the urge to throw my bread across the table at him. If it wasn't for Feyre I would have. The rest of the stories and tales flowed out and, much to Feyre’s credit, she didn’t falter in the slightest. She interjected at the perfect moments, making jokes that had everyone roaring with laughter. Then the tables were turned onto her and Cassian was asking her about her life. After she had finished she turned to Rhys.

’I accept your offer- to work with you.” And I wanted to scream and cheer. I felt no such joy from Rhys as he started.

”Good because we start tomorrow. Hybern is starting this war and he’s going to bring back Jurian to help him.” I felt a shiver run down my back. Rhys had neglected to tell me that part. In an instant the lighthearted conversation was thrown to the side and Cassian launched into full general mode.

I tried my best to keep up with this new bit of information, how it would throw a wrench into any attempts of a plan. I missed the conversation that followed, mind already trying to figure out the adjustments I would need to make to the map in my office. Armen managed to snap me out of my thinking.

”The Bone Carver might indeed be willing to talk to her.” She pointed a finger at Feyre and I went to argue against the ancient female. Rhy had beaten me to it.

”Your choice, always your choice, Feyre.” and I tried to keep the fear off my face as she answered.

”How bad could it be.” Cassians’ answer had her face pale as a ghost and it was clear dinner was over at that moment. The others reduced to arguing over the semantics and who would be doing what in preparation for their journey to the prison. My eyes suddenly felt very heavy at the sounds of their voices. Azriel’s gentle hand on my shoulder was the sign that the arguing had stopped at all. I didn’t need to be asked a second time and as he flew me back down to the ground below Velaris, I wondered if all of us would make it through the war a second time.

Next Chapter: Here

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