#and then she of course walks it back by going 'i just don't want one of these fuckers to kill me'
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˚ ༘♡ ·˚꒰Power bottom Reader/needy service top Vi꒱ ₊˚ˑ༄
Vi would practically beg to fuck you, to eat you out or so much as look at you. She would do whatever it takes for your attention. Anything you give her, she gets off on.
Vi who packs and has a very thick, girthy packer that is shown off perfectly whenever she wears grey sweats. She would confidently walk around with you, her smile dashing as she exudes dominance. But little does anyone know, deep down she is nothing but a whiny, needy girl who has to beg to touch you.
"Please, please, please," Vi pants, her lips on your stomach. You straddle her lap, your cunt brushing against the swell on her boxers, leaving a wet patch there. Your eyes admire the state your partner is in -- desperately pouting in the nude, her pierced nipples and musculature in full display, along with her happy trail running beyond her belly button. "Hmph- Y/N. Need you- badly-"
"That's not how we ask for permission to touch, is it?" You remind her, eyebrows shooting up. But you know Vi is far too hazy by now to formulate a proper thought. She stupidly begins thrusting her hips in no apparent direction, stroking your pussy folds, so wet for her already, with her packer. "You need to use your words if you want it, sweetheart. Won't you be a good girl for me? I know you can do it, baby. Come on, just for me."
"Wan' touch," Vi pants. There are tears running down her flushed cheeks as she tries to rub her legs together to find some relief, but you don't let her. "Please, can I touch? I'll- I'll make you feel better, promise."
You sink down on her lap further, letting out an exaggerated moan at the feeling on her cock flicking upon your clit. "Is that so?"
"Yes. Yes!" Vi almost excitedly swears. Her hands shake as they sit on your waist, her lips coming to rest in the valley between your breasts. "Please?"
"Go on, sweetheart. Make me feel good."
Her tongue feels hot on your pussy. Vi by no means is patient, flicking it roughly, slurping your juices that she deems a delicacy. As you lay back with Vi down between your legs, she takes the opportunity to hump the mattress, her packer feeling warm against her with her friction.
Her lips make out with your lower ones, fighting for a dominance she cannot uphold. She spends hours simply licking and sucking on your cunt, worshipping its surface glossy with a mixture of your fluids and her saliva. The tip of her tongue drifts inside, fucking your hole as per your orders. At first Vi is shy, unsure, but as you tug at her hair, she understands your need for her to go faster.
Even after you cum, Vi is forced into continuing. "Good girl," you tell her, your voice husky as you admire the sight of your partner desperately eating your pussy. "Such a good girl, baby. The best."
When she eventually moves upwards, holding herself up above you with a proud smile, albeit soft, you cup her face. Vi's chin is drenched in cum that oozes downwards. She licks her lips, sitting atop you, her packer nudging you, before shyly speaking.
"Did I do well?" Vi wonders.
You know how badly she requires validation -- it gets her off, makes her feel worthy of your attention. "Of course, sweetheart. You did so, so well for me."
#arcane vi x reader#vi imagines#vi smut#vi x reader#vi x fem reader#vi x you#vi x y/n#arcane vi x you
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Many thoughts
“Better now that I’m taking you back to our place,” he said. There was that spring in his step again, like he was allowed to be happy since he knew you were really okay after walking home alone.
His happiness very much depends on her, and little too much if you ask me 🥴
When someone like Bucky had the kind of money he did, you imagined he’d drop just about anything to spend time with you and it wouldn’t make a dent in his pocketbook. Even if he lost everything tomorrow, it would be the same. Somehow you’d come first.
For sure
“Steve insisted on talking to you about that double date.” Bucky playfully rolled his eyes and refused to let his friend take the bags from his hands. He really didn’t want anyone else carrying your things or opening doors for you. “He’s stubborn, but you get used to it after a while.” ��I’m stubborn?” Steve chuckled. “Pot meet kettle.”
Lol for real
“Well, we can talk about how excited Bucky is that you’re spending the night,” Steve teased. “I think she knows,” Bucky smirked, your cheeks hot. Did the whole gang feed into his delusion of what would happen if you stayed over?
I'm sure they do 🫠
“She’s fine, she’s fine,” Bucky assured you, cupping your cheeks. “She’s okay. I didn’t mean to scare you.” “For now, she is,” Steve muttered under his breath.
Geez 🥴
“We still don’t know the angle.” Bucky’s jaw clenched. “He could be doing it to show that can get to people close to you.” “Like you with Addison and Brady?” you asked. Nick was Brady’s boss now, and it was clear that it wasn’t a coincidence.
Nice call out lol
“How about I find a way to relax and still go out tomorrow?” you suggested. “You’re really determined to go. And here I thought Steve and I were the stubborn ones,” he smirked, guiding you into the penthouse. “Why don’t you take a seat in the living room and I’ll put your stuff in the bedroom?”
She sure is and she should stay like that!
“Because you like being near me,” he said, your eyes rounding. “You slept beside me last night and you want to experience that again. Either that or being near me makes you feel safer than you want to admit.” You scoffed. “No, that’s…” You shook your head. “I mean, no. That’s just-” He gently smiled. “It's okay to admit. It'll be our secret.”
Oop👀
You tried not to choke up. It felt romantic, but you appreciated how thoughtful it was. “I…” You had to clear your throat. “I brought pajamas.” “I know, but I wanted to surprise you,” he smiled. “They’re your size and I think you’ll like them.”
That is actually very thoughtful
Bucky’s eyebrows pinched. “Of course I won’t. This is your relaxing time,” he promised, kissing your forehead again as you breathed easier. “And like I said, I have a few things to do.” You felt a little sheepish at his expression. “I’m sorry. I just…” “Nothing to apologize for. I don't blame you for double checking.” He patted your backside with a gentle hand. “Just enjoy your time.”
I mean is brought this distrust on himself 🤷🏻♀️
“Bucky, you didn’t have to-” “I don't have to do anything, but I wanted to. Do you like it?”
That's the spirit 🤭
“This is all thoughtful, but aren't I supposed to be making it up to you?” He frowned a little at your expression. “You being here is more than enough.” His fingers barely grazed your cheek. “Are you okay?”
👀
You avoided his gaze when you opened your eyes. “That’s all you want?” you asked. He hadn’t dragged you to bed once you arrived, but he also didn’t say that he didn’t want something. He ran a thumb over your bottom lip. “Well, I won’t lie to you. I want you, but I'm not pushing you. This is the first time you came to me willingly, and I want to cherish it.” You shivered at his touch. “Yeah, I did come here willingly,” you said. Sort of.
True...
“Stay home with me tomorrow,” he whispered, sitting up with you in his lap still. “We don’t have to go anywhere. We can spend the whole day together.” “No,” you said firmly. You were going out with your friends and that was final. “Send Ray or someone to watch over me. I’ll be back before you know it.”
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
You tensed and tried to push yourself up, but he grabbed you and situated you over one of his massive thighs. He had a firm hold on you and it made your heart pound. “I don't want you to be scared. I'll take such good care of you.” “I just… I’m not…” If he took you to bed, there’d be no turning back, and you had to maintain some control. “You’re not ready for that,” he stated, his eyes still dark. Shaking your head, it worried you how he’d take it. But he suddenly started moving you over his thigh, hard and slow. “Okay, Kotyonok. I won't put my tongue or fingers in you just yet, but I still want to make you feel good.”
I totally get that she wants to have at least a little bit control..
“That’s my good girl,” he praised, rocking you over his thigh again and sitting up, desperately pressing his lips to your neck. “You'll never have to beg for anything you want. Just ask or tell me and it's yours.”
😮💨😮💨😮💨
And breathing hard, you surprised both of you by leaning in and kissing him. He let out a deep moan, kissing you back with everything he had as he held you closer. You were still shaking from your orgasm, and you could blame that for the reason why you kissed him. And he behaved, not letting his hands wander as his tongue moved with yours.
Ohh 👀
His smile confused you. “But… you didn’t…” you trailed off. He was hard in his pants, and you hadn’t gotten him off. You selfishly got yourself off on his thigh with his encouragement. “That doesn't matter,” he assured you, kissing the tip of your nose. “You trusted me enough to make you feel good.”
Ngl that's kinda hot 🤭
He tucked your head under his chin and wrapped one of the blankets around you. “I know you're still a bit scared and you don’t want to trust me, and that’s okay. It’s scary to let someone like me in after everything.”
That's actually really sweet 🥹
He rubbed your back and you noticed how relaxed he was. He was content to just hold you. Like an actual couple. Exactly what he wanted. And if he noticed a tear streaming down your cheek when you eventually fell asleep in his arms, he thoughtfully kept that to himself.
Uff what an ending 🥴
Hold You Tight: Part 17
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Pairing: Club Owner!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Fic Summary: The owner of The 107th wants you to be his girl whether you like it or not.
Part 16 | Series Masterlist | Part 18
Chapter Word Count: Over 5.9k
Chapter Summary: You take a step further in your relationship with Bucky.
Chapter Warnings: DARK AU, dubcon elements, dirty talk, thigh riding, tension, kissing, reference to stalking, inner turmoil, manipulation, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?), more warnings to come.
A/N: More Hold You Tight! Thank you for sticking with me! Bucky edit by the beautiful @nixakimbo ❤️ Beta read by the lovely @whisperlullaby but any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-graphics . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
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You tried to occupy yourself as you waited for Bucky to pick you up. You made sure you had your outfit for tomorrow and sent Addison a text to confirm when and where you were meeting. God, what if Bucky insisted on dropping you off? He likely would. There was no way he’d let you head over on your own, unless Ray or someone dropped you off.
“What am I doing?” you muttered.
Staring at yourself in the mirror, you frowned. You had changed out of your work clothes and into something more comfortable. He would think you looked sexy no matter what you wore, even if you didn’t try. What was he going to expect or demand from you? There was no way you’d go through the entire evening in his home without him touching you or something.
You weren’t sure if the anticipation was worse or knowing he’d probably make your body enjoy whatever he’d do to you, and use that as a weapon against you.
The knock on your door made you jump. Had two hours passed already? You checked the peephole and saw Bucky on the other side, shifting from one foot to the other. At least he didn’t break his way inside like he could’ve easily done.
“Hi.” You slowly opened the door to let him in. “I-”
Bucky had you against the wall before you could finish, his lips insistently pressing against yours. The kiss only lasted seconds, but it felt like hours when he pulled away. “Don’t walk home alone again,” he whispered with a brief flash of fear in his eyes.
You nodded after a moment. The conversation from earlier was still on his mind, clearly. “I won’t.”
“You look beautiful by the way.” Taking a breath, he ran both hands through his hair and straightened up. He looked like his normal self again, and you knew it. No matter what he’d find you attractive. “Is this everything?” he asked, picking up the overnight bag and garment bag that you had left by the door.
“Yeah, it should be,” you said, making sure you had your phone and purse, too.
“Was the rest of your day okay?” he asked, watching carefully as you locked the door.
“It was fine,” you replied. You were so busy thinking about Bucky that you hadn’t thought much about Clark. “Was yours?”
“Better now that I’m taking you back to our place,” he said. There was that spring in his step again, like he was allowed to be happy since he knew you were really okay after walking home alone.
“You don’t have to go to the club tonight?” you asked.
“Only if there’s an emergency. There’s no special event tonight, no reason to make an appearance, and my staff knows how to take care of the place,” he assured you. “Time with you is much more important than that.”
When someone like Bucky had the kind of money he did, you imagined he’d drop just about anything to spend time with you and it wouldn’t make a dent in his pocketbook. Even if he lost everything tomorrow, it would be the same. Somehow you’d come first.
Once you were outside, you were surprised to find Steve standing by Bucky’s car instead of Ray. “Hi,” the blonde smiled with a row of perfect teeth.
“Hi,” you replied, stepping a bit closer to Bucky. Steve was his best friend, but you still didn’t know him well. What you did know was that he had his own woman he was stalking.
“Steve insisted on talking to you about that double date.” Bucky playfully rolled his eyes and refused to let his friend take the bags from his hands. He really didn’t want anyone else carrying your things or opening doors for you. “He’s stubborn, but you get used to it after a while.”
“I’m stubborn?” Steve chuckled. “Pot meet kettle.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Bucky smiled, helping you into the car.
The interaction between the two of them was so natural and easy. You imagined that in another life they were decent men who fought for others instead of trapping them. “So, what exactly did you want to talk about?” you asked once you took off.
“Well, we can talk about how excited Bucky is that you’re spending the night,” Steve teased.
“I think she knows,” Bucky smirked, your cheeks hot. Did the whole gang feed into his delusion of what would happen if you stayed over?
“Did you want to talk about the double date?” you asked, hoping the topic switch would help.
“Well, my girl likes art and Bucky mentioned how you sometimes like to relax with a glass of wine,” Steve began, smiling at you in the mirror. “So, I was thinking, we could do one of those wine and painting classes. Just the four of us.”
“But if you didn’t want to do a painting, they do something similar with pottery where everyone can pick their own piece to paint,” Bucky said, slipping an arm over your shoulders.
“Dinner before the painting, too. It would be really nice for you two to talk,” Steve continued, tapping a finger on the steering wheel. “She’s a sweet girl with a big heart, but she doesn’t have many friends nearby like you do.”
“I mean, I’m fine with painting a canvas or pottery. I think we should let her choose since art is one of her passions.” Your heart went out to the girl. Was that why Steve set his sights on her? Did he feel like he was rescuing her in some sense? “And does she have a preference on wine? White or red? Sweet or dry? Maybe I can pick a bottle for her while I’m at the vineyard tomorrow.”
Steve glanced at you again in the mirror, impressed. “That’s very considerate of you,” he said, sharing a quick look with Bucky, too. “And she likes sparkling sweet wine.”
“I have a very considerate girl,” Bucky boasted, kissing your temple. “You really are thoughtful.”
“I try to be,” you whispered, not wanting to make a big deal out of it. “I’m sure Bucky will give me the details once it’s set up,” you said, not finding it in you to argue since you were outnumbered.
“He will,” Steve smiled, clearing his throat. “And now that we have that out of the way…”
“Really, punk?” Bucky asked, tightening his hand on our shoulder.
You sat up a little. All the warmth had left his voice, and he tensed up beside you. “What’s going on?”
“Tell her, Buck,” Steve urged.
You held your breath. Was this about earlier in the day when Ray spoke with Bucky? “Yes, please, tell me.”
Bucky’s jaw clenched. “Mrs. Crandle wasn’t at work today, was she?” he asked as if he already knew the answer.
“No, she…” Your eyes widened. Kate said she called out for some business reason. “Oh, my god. Is she okay?”
“She’s fine, she’s fine,” Bucky assured you, cupping your cheeks. “She’s okay. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“For now, she is,” Steve muttered under his breath.
“Just shut up and drive,” Bucky ordered when you gasped. “The reason she was suddenly out of work today was because of Zemo.”
Your heart sank. What the hell would Zemo want with Mrs. Crandle? “What do you mean?”
“From what we’ve gathered, he met up with her to tell her that she won an all expenses paid trip to a flower expo. She was shocked since she didn’t remember even entering the contest, but he told her someone anonymously registered her,” he explained. “He asked questions about some of her employees in case she wanted to bring anyone from her shop along and your name came up.”
“But why?” you asked. Why would Zemo make a contest just to talk to your boss?
“We still don’t know the angle.” Bucky’s jaw clenched. “He could be doing it to show that can get to people close to you.”
“Like you with Addison and Brady?” you asked. Nick was Brady’s boss now, and it was clear that it wasn’t a coincidence.
“Bucky doesn’t have his hand in the shop out of respect for you, and Zemo knows that,” Steve chimed in before Bucky could argue. “So it’s possible that he may be trying to butter Mrs. Crandle up before he makes an offer, whether it’s to offer some kind of protection or to buy out her shop completely.”
The thought of Zemo owning the shop where you worked or having his hand in it made your stomach turn. “She loves her shop, and she’s honest when it comes to business. She wouldn’t want someone stepping in or buying it,” you said, your breathing a bit heavier. “Is she in danger? Is something going to happen to her because of me?”
If something happened to Mrs. Crandle, you’d never forgive yourself.
“It isn’t because of you, Kotyonok. It’s his actions,” Bucky answered. Just like Bucky’s actions put you in the line of fire. “I hesitated telling you because we still need answers, but she’s safe. We also have someone keeping an eye on her, just to exercise caution.”
You exhaled. If Zemo was trying to scare you, it was working. “Please, don’t keep me in the dark,” you said. Even if it scared you, you had to know. “And Mrs. Crandle is one of the most harmless people in the city and the shop is all she has. If he-”
“We won’t let anything happen to her,” Bucky promised. It was a lot to promise. “And I’m sorry I didn’t say something this morning. I just wanted you to have a normal day.”
You understood part of Bucky’s reasoning. Telling you even when she wasn't in immediate danger would've thrown your whole day off. But what was a normal day now? “We deal with ups and downs every day. So just tell me next time something’s going on, especially if it involves someone important to me.” Ignorance isn't bliss in the world Bucky lived in.
He regarded you with a soft smile. “I will.”
You stayed quiet for the remainder of the ride while Bucky and Steve discussed dinner options for the double date night. It would’ve been endearing with how excited they were, had it not been for the fact that you and Steve’s girl didn’t exactly have a choice. What was going to happen at Thor’s party?
And what about your loved ones? Were they safe? You thought being by Bucky’s side would keep them safe from his wrath, but what if Zemo went after them? You had to trust that Bucky and his men wouldn't allow that to happen.
“You two have fun tonight,” Steve winked. “Try not to get too handsy, jerk.”
“What?” you asked, your throat dry once you realized you were at Bucky’s place. God, you were really there. There was no backing out.
“Just get in your car and go, punk,” Bucky chuckled, helping you out and grabbing your things. “He really is excited for you and his girl to become friends.”
“I’ll bet,” you said, giving Steve a small wave for his benefit.
You counted the number of steps from the car to the elevator. This was similar to when he brought you here the first time because you didn’t know what to expect. You weren’t sure if it was better or worse though knowing what you knew now.
“Where’s Ray?” you asked.
“He’s busy,” Bucky answered cryptically, sweeping his gaze over you. “You seem nervous. If you’d rather skip your day out tomorrow, I can help you find a few ways to relax.”
“How about I find a way to relax and still go out tomorrow?” you suggested.
“You’re really determined to go. And here I thought Steve and I were the stubborn ones,” he smirked, guiding you into the penthouse. “Why don’t you take a seat in the living room and I’ll put your stuff in the bedroom?”
“Okay,” you breathed, hoping he didn’t notice you trembling as you walked through the place. It felt warmer than the last time you were there, more like the temperature that you kept at your place. And as dangerous as Bucky was, you somehow felt safe being there. Someone like Zemo wasn’t going to get in there. Clark wouldn’t either.
Rubbing your arms, you took a seat on the sofa. It was a beautiful room, but nothing like your living room. It wasn't just the difference in size, but you noticed once again that there were no nicknacks or homey touches. Maybe you could add a pop or color or even some flowers to… Oh, God. You were really thinking of how you’d decorate the place.
“You still look nervous,” Bucky said once he joined you, giving you absolutely no space as he took a seat. “You don’t have to be.”
“I’m not nervous,” you lied, biting your lip. “Okay, I am a little.”
He hummed. “Were you expecting me to drag you to bed?”
You nodded slowly. He behaved himself in the car with Steve there, but now the two of you were alone and you had no idea where Ray was. There was nothing to stop him from taking what he thought belonged to him.
“You thought sex would make it up to me because you walked home alone?”
“No,” you said immediately. You shouldn’t have to give him sex to say you’re sorry, especially when he had a much longer list of things he needed to apologize for. “I just thought this was a natural step in a relationship, you know? Spending the night together.”
A natural step would’ve been him staying at your place, too, but he was certain you would live at his place. And having him in your space, it didn’t feel the same. It was something you wanted to keep sacred.
“It is a natural step, but I don’t think you offered to stay here to make it up to me.”
His statement surprised you. That was part of the reason. If you made it up to him, he wouldn’t object to you going out with your friends. You weren’t going to bring up Clark or that the thought of being alone at your place made you nervous. “Then why else do you think I’m here?” you asked.
“Because you like being near me,” he said, your eyes rounding. “You slept beside me last night and you want to experience that again. Either that or being near me makes you feel safer than you want to admit.”
You scoffed. “No, that’s…” You shook your head. “I mean, no. That’s just-”
He gently smiled. “It's okay to admit. It'll be our secret.”
You shook your head again. Admitting that being in his arms wasn’t terrible and that his place did feel safer than yours at the moment would give him another win. “I'm not admitting anything.”
The smile on his face widened. “Is it because I'm right and you don't want me to be right?”
“Maybe this was a bad idea,” you said, standing and crossing your arms. “I should just go.”
“No, no, no. I’ll stop teasing. Please stay,” he nearly begged, getting to his feet, too. “How about I run you a bath and you can relax?”
“...A bath?” you asked. It wasn’t fair. He knew how much you loved taking baths.
He nodded. “A warm bath and a glass of wine, too.”
You uncrossed your arms, avoiding his hopeful gaze. It was a bit of a rough day, on top of a rough week. You deserved to relax. “Okay, that actually sounds really nice.”
He smiled and offered his hand. “I have bath bombs or salts if you want those, too. Anything to help you relax.”
“You have bath bombs?” you asked, your curiosity peaked. “What kind?”
“I have honeysuckle, lavender, vanilla,” he smiled softly. Each scent sounded like something that would help make the stress leave your body. “Let me show you.”
You let him lead the way you were pretty sure most of your apartment could fit inside the luxurious bathroom. The inviting tub almost made you burst into happy tears. It was nothing like your builder's grade tub. This was an honest to goodness clawfoot tub of your dreams.
“You like it?” Bucky smiled.
Blinking, you remembered Bucky saying how he wanted to fuck you in his tub. Would it be tonight? “I love it,” you admitted.
His smile stretched from ear to ear. “I’ll grab a tray and I can bring you a book if you want. Or you can just relax and enjoy your wine.”
“Well.” You thought it over. “I wouldn’t mind a book.”
Bucky nodded and brought the bath bombs out for you to choose from before he ushered you into the bedroom. “Why don't you stay here and pick one out while I'll get everything else you need?”
“Okay,” you said, holding your breath as you stared at the king sized bed. You avoided looking at it when he led you into the bathroom, but now you couldn’t help yourself. That was the bed he expected you to sleep with him in… the bed he’d fuck you and make love to you in. The satin sheets were a dark promise that he’d get everything he wanted and more.
Shaking your head, you carefully picked up each bath bomb and gave them a sniff. Each one smelled better than the last, and your eyes nearly rolled back at the one you selected. You wondered if he had these before you met or if he bought them specifically for you to have available.
Bucky came back after a minute and took your hand, guiding you back into the bathroom. “I’ve got everything all set.” The tub was steaming, candles were lit, and there was a generous glass of wine waiting on the tray with a book. “There's a robe on the back of the door, and I'll make sure fresh pajamas are ready for when you get out.”
You tried not to choke up. It felt romantic, but you appreciated how thoughtful it was. “I…” You had to clear your throat. “I brought pajamas.”
“I know, but I wanted to surprise you,” he smiled. “They’re your size and I think you’ll like them.”
“Thanks.” What other clothes did he have waiting for you? “What will you do while I'm in the tub?”
“I have a couple of calls to make.” He kissed your forehead. “And there's something else I want to set up for you.”
You shook your head. “I think this is more than enough,” you said honestly. He didn’t have to go to the trouble of setting this up. “But…” You fidgeted a little. “You promise you won’t just… barge in, right?”
This was still his home. He could easily make an excuse to go into his bathroom for whatever reason. And being naked in the bathtub, you’d be more vulnerable than normal.
Bucky’s eyebrows pinched. “Of course I won’t. This is your relaxing time,” he promised, kissing your forehead again as you breathed easier. “And like I said, I have a few things to do.”
You felt a little sheepish at his expression. “I’m sorry. I just…”
“Nothing to apologize for. I don't blame you for double checking.” He patted your backside with a gentle hand. “Just enjoy your time.”
With a small smile, he shut the door behind him. You waited a full minute after hearing his footsteps fade before you undressed and added the bath bomb to the tub. The scent brought a smile to your face before you tested the water temperature with your hand. It felt perfect, evident by your sigh once you got in.
You took your time sipping your wine as you began to read. Was this really going to be your bathroom now? Would you relax here after a rough shift or just because you felt like it? How many nights would Bucky insist on joining you?
But the man was, surprisingly, true to his word. He hadn’t disturbed you once. Even after you finished your glass and added more warm water to the tub, he didn’t knock or barge in. Even when you grudgingly got out of the tub and dried off before you pulled the plush robe on, he wasn’t sitting there waiting. Was he actually respecting your boundaries?
Peeking out into the bedroom, Bucky had laid out a pair of soft pajamas like he promised and was still nowhere to be seen. You were still quick to change so he couldn’t sneak a look at you. But where was he?
You thought of calling out when you went to search for him since the lights were dimmed all over the penthouse. Your fingers touched one of the walls. Would he ever hang a picture of his mom up or was it too painful?
Tiptoeing over to the balcony when you saw the door open, you spotted Bucky reading a book, too, and sipping whiskey from a tumbler. He looked completely at ease, lost in his own lonely world, and you weren’t sure if you should disturb him. Turning around, you wondered where you should go. Maybe you could curl up on the couch or something before he could-
“All finished in the bath?”
You froze and turned back toward him, his hair gently blowing in the breeze. “Yeah, sorry. I didn't know what to do when I was done, so I was going to wander around.”
He downed the rest of his glass and smiled. “You're welcome to wander, except into the den which is being redone.” He offered his hand again when he stood. “Did you enjoy your bath?”
“I did. That bath bomb was incredible,” you said. There was no reason to lie. “So was the wine.”
You gulped a little. Oh, god. You didn’t see him pour the glass. Why did you accept that from him? He could’ve put something in it. No, he wouldn’t. He wanted you to want him without that sort of influence.
“I'll get you more. The bath bomb and the wine.” he smiled, leading you back to the living room where he had pillows and blankets set up.
“Bucky, you didn’t have to-”
“I don't have to do anything, but I wanted to. Do you like it?”
You looked at the lush blankets and fluffy pillows. Like the bathroom, it looked like a dream. Looking back at him, you smiled softly at his once again hopeful expression. He carried himself with such confidence and didn't seem to care if he impressed others except for you. “I do. Thank you.”
He smiled, too, his whole face bright. “I thought it would be another good way to relax.”
The memory of Clark walking you home popped in your mind for some reason before you pushed it away. “This is all thoughtful, but aren't I supposed to be making it up to you?”
He frowned a little at your expression. “You being here is more than enough.” His fingers barely grazed your cheek. “Are you okay?”
You blinked and nodded. “I’m fine.”
Bucky considered you and you couldn’t help but fidget again when he pinned you with his gaze. “Is something wrong?” he asked.
You bit the inside of your cheek and closed your eyes. “I just don't understand why you’re doing all of this.”
He could’ve been manipulating you again, but it actually seemed like he was trying to be a doting boyfriend without expecting anything in return. Your guard was down enough for him to worm his way in, and you all too easily accepted the kind gestures. Why were you making it easy for him?
“You mean setting up the blankets and pillows? I thought we could lay together and watch a movie. Or talk.” His fingers touched your cheek again. “Whatever you want.”
You avoided his gaze when you opened your eyes. “That’s all you want?” you asked. He hadn’t dragged you to bed once you arrived, but he also didn’t say that he didn’t want something.
He ran a thumb over your bottom lip. “Well, I won’t lie to you. I want you, but I'm not pushing you. This is the first time you came to me willingly, and I want to cherish it.”
You shivered at his touch. “Yeah, I did come here willingly,” you said. Sort of.
“And how do you feel being here compared to the first time?”
“Better,” you admitted. You weren’t completely terrified this time, and you also felt like you had some control over. Maybe not much, but some.
“Good. Now, shall we?”
You nodded and allowed Bucky to help you settle into the comfort of the pillows. He pulled you close, but it wasn’t as suffocating as it had been before. This felt more gentle. More… right.
It should’ve felt wrong.
The room was so quiet and all you could hear for a minute was the gentle sound of his breathing and his heart beating. “What's your favorite color?” you asked. “I don't think you've told me.”
You weren’t sure if you had taken the time to ask because, well, it hadn’t been a real relationship in your eyes. But you needed to know him. Call it acceptance or ammunition. Maybe both.
“Blue,” he answered, his hand absentmindedly moving along your side.
“And your birthday?”
“March 10th.”
“Wait, you're a Pisces?” you smiled a little. “That explains so much.”
He smiled down at you and chuckled. “Oh, does it now?”
You laughed lightly. “Well, yeah. I mean, you’re just… you know…” He raised an eyebrow and waited for you to finish. “Emotional.”
“I can't argue with that,” he smiled, leaning in a bit. “Does it explain anything else?”
“Well, you're…” You were a little distracted as he kept rubbing your side. “Intense. Passionate. You want to be close to the person you fall for.”
He fit that to a tee.
His darkened eyes made you lose your breath. “I can’t argue with that either,” he whispered, pulling you close without hesitation and fusing your mouths together.
Bucky held you tight and rolled you over so you were on top of him, his hands skimming your thighs as he made you straddle him. A small sound escaped when he brushed against you, your heart pounding in your ears. “Bucky-”
“Stay home with me tomorrow,” he whispered, sitting up with you in his lap still. “We don’t have to go anywhere. We can spend the whole day together.”
“No,” you said firmly. You were going out with your friends and that was final. “Send Ray or someone to watch over me. I’ll be back before you know it.”
“Please?” he asked, thrusting his hips up. “I’ll make it worth your while if you skip.”
Natasha’s words crossed your mind, reminding you that you had power. But a sinking feeling washed over you because that power had to come from your body, right? You shouldn’t be expected to give him sex, but you could give him something to hold him over. Pushing the dread away, you could hate yourself later for it. “You can spend time with me when I get back,” you offered, grinding your hips against his. “I’ll be all yours.”
The sickening feeling you expected when he moaned didn’t come. “You promise?” he murmured.
“Mmhmm,” you hummed, grinding your hips again. “You can even drop me off at Addison’s, and I’ll let you know when I get back to my place. I promise.”
“Okay, Kotyonok,” he groaned, his hands grabbing your waist. Your triumph didn’t last long. “Keep doing that and I’ll pay for all the bottles of wine you want, too.”
“You don’t have to-”
“Let me touch you. Please, just let me make you feel good,” he half begged, half demanding between kissing you again. He truly hungered for you. “I'll make you feel amazing if you just let me touch you.”
You took a deep, shaky breath. How far would he take it if he touched you? No, you had to stay in control. “You are touching me.”
“Let me take you to bed. I'll eat your pussy so good you'll cry.”
You tensed and tried to push yourself up, but he grabbed you and situated you over one of his massive thighs. He had a firm hold on you and it made your heart pound. “I don't want you to be scared. I'll take such good care of you.”
“I just… I’m not…” If he took you to bed, there’d be no turning back, and you had to maintain some control.
“You’re not ready for that,” he stated, his eyes still dark. Shaking your head, it worried you how he’d take it. But he suddenly started moving you over his thigh, hard and slow. “Okay, Kotyonok. I won't put my tongue or fingers in you just yet, but I still want to make you feel good.”
You made a small sound, trying to get your body to relax. You had never ridden anyone’s thigh before and you hadn’t pictured it like this. But the blissful look on his face, he looked like he was in heaven.
“You have no idea how beautiful you are, do you? Especially like this,” he praised.
“I…” you whimpered. “I’m not-”
“Yes, you are,” he growled, tightening his grip. “And you deserve to feel good. My girl deserves whatever she wants.”
Your hands flew to his shoulders when he flexed his thigh, sending an unexpected shock through your entire body. “Oh, my God,” you whispered before you could stop yourself.
“That felt good, right?” he asked, watching you with lidded eyes. “You want me to keep going? Make you come all over my pants?”
You whimpered when he held you still, unsure it was his dirty talk or the slight edging that had you trembling. “Bucky…”
“Tell me, Kotyonok,” he ordered, licking his lips and relaxing back into the blankets and pillows. “Tell me you want me to keep going and I will.”
You looked deep into his eyes. There was so much fire in them and it was burning for you. Your breath caught as he flexed his thigh again and you found yourself nodding. “Please, Bucky. Keep going.”
He shook his head. “That’s not what I said,” he whispered, sliding his tongue along your lips. “Tell me.”
You swallowed hard, your core throbbing. “I want you to keep going,” you breathed.
“That’s my good girl,” he praised, rocking you over his thigh again and sitting up, desperately pressing his lips to your neck. “You'll never have to beg for anything you want. Just ask or tell me and it's yours.”
Your eyes burned with unshed tears as your nails dug into his shoulders, feeling his thigh getting wetter beneath you. “Please…” you whispered, unsure of what exactly you were asking for. Mercy? To be put out of your misery? You could ask for anything except for freedom.
“Still begging when you don't have to.” He chuckled affectionately. “You’re so sweet.”
The pleasure building inside you was bittersweet. Sexual acts were, in your eyes, something to bring you closer together. What would he want next? What would you want next?
“Fucking yourself on my thigh. Wait ‘til you fuck yourself on my cock,” he gruffly spoke, your walls clenching around nothing when he lightly nipped over your pulse. “Just let go if you want. Make a mess for me.”
You were breathless from how close you were. “Do… that again,” you said, unable to let yourself feel embarrassed in the moment.
Bucky nipped your neck again and smiled when you moaned. “Fuck, that’s my beautiful girl. Doing so good for me, telling me what you want,” he said gruffly, dragging you faster along his thigh. “Now I want you to come for me.”
Your mouth fell open when he rocked you faster and bit down once more, hard enough that something inside you snapped. It didn’t just snap, you shattered. You saw stars. You couldn't stop it.
“There you go. Coming just for me,” he smiled, burying his face in your neck. “Fuck, you got my thigh all wet. Just ride it out. Good girl.”
Your face burned and you wanted to hide once you slowed down, but he wouldn’t let you when he lifted his head. He looked so happy, like a cat who got the cream. Your release dripped from your pussy and soaked your pajamas and his pants. You let him get you off.
And breathing hard, you surprised both of you by leaning in and kissing him.
He let out a deep moan, kissing you back with everything he had as he held you closer. You were still shaking from your orgasm, and you could blame that for the reason why you kissed him. And he behaved, not letting his hands wander as his tongue moved with yours.
He kept his mouth close to yours when you pulled back. The orgasm surprisingly helped you relax, but it worried you, too. Had you pushed too far with what you just did? Would he want more? You couldn’t let him in, and you weren’t ready to let yourself fall for him after everything. Not yet.
“Um, thanks,” you said, unsure of what to say to break the tension.
“Thank you,” he smiled.
His smile confused you. “But… you didn’t…” you trailed off. He was hard in his pants, and you hadn’t gotten him off. You selfishly got yourself off on his thigh with his encouragement.
“That doesn't matter,” he assured you, kissing the tip of your nose. “You trusted me enough to make you feel good.”
Your jaw dropped slightly. “But that’s… No. I…” You just wanted a bit of time with your friends, it wasn’t about trust. Was it? How could you trust this man?
He tucked your head under his chin and wrapped one of the blankets around you. “I know you're still a bit scared and you don’t want to trust me, and that’s okay. It’s scary to let someone like me in after everything.”
You shut your eyes to hold back tears. He had scared you from the moment you met, but you wouldn’t say you were completely scared of him right now. Not really. You didn’t know how you felt.
That was what scared you.
“Will someone keep an eye on my place while I’m out tomorrow?” you asked curiously, hoping the question didn't sound weird. You just didn't want Clark snooping around, and you didn't want Bucky worked up if you mentioned him.
“I have safety measures in place,” he replied. “Do you feel safe here?” he asked above a whisper.
“Yes,” you replied. You felt safe and in danger all at once. It was a strange feeling.
“Good,” he whispered. “Hey. Maybe you can spend the night tomorrow, too? We’ll do a movie night.”
“Maybe,” you whispered, your heart finally starting to slow to a steady rate. “And pizza.”
“Pizza and a movie? It’s a date,” he smiled. “We can talk about redecorating the place, too. Make it a real home for us.”
“A real home,” you whispered, knowing full well you were home for Bucky.
He rubbed your back and you noticed how relaxed he was. He was content to just hold you. Like an actual couple. Exactly what he wanted.
And if he noticed a tear streaming down your cheek when you eventually fell asleep in his arms, he thoughtfully kept that to himself.
So, that happened. It could've been... worse? He's wearing his girl down, isn't he? How are things going to be in the morning? Will he leave you be when you're with your friends? Love and thanks for reading! ❤️
Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
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I feel like as a reader and someone who grew up poor, Jason doesn't really pay attention to was he uses as a bookmark. Of course he has a handful of those, birthday and christmas presents, or simply gifts from when Bruce first found out the kid loved reading and wanted him to feel at home. And since the man is rich and emotionally constipated, he bought Jason really expensive bookmarks, like one made in China with a really detailed dragon carved into the wood, or another one embedded with little diamonds from France. Jason doesn't really understand, because a paper would be enough, you know ? There was only one bookmark Jason had truly felt overjoyed to have : one that belong to Jane Austen. Needless to say, Bruce had almost cried when Jason hugged him tight, smiling like he was trying to rival the sun. (When Jason died, Bruce framed the bookmark and put it in one of his desk drawers. When Jason came back, and they were on better terms, he went to his son place and put back the bookmark. When Jason came home, he found a birthday gift awfully wrapped up on his bed. If he cried while holding the bookmark, no one needed to know.)
Back to the point, Jason doesn't really care about what he uses, as long as he doesn't lose his page (although he almost gutted Tim when the boy folded the corner of his book. Instead he shook him like a puppet, telling him about how disrespectfull he was towards books and writers.).
---
Tim, pocking his head in the kitchen, where Alfred is busy cooking and Jason is reading : Has anyone seen my budget report ? I left it on the table in the library this morning, and I can't find it.
Jason, not looking up, shrugging : No one cares about your reports Timbers, no someone would have move it.
Tim leaves, sighing. Later, when Jason goes to close his book and reach for the paper he was using, he realises he was holding said report. Alfred raises an eyebrow. He must have taken it when he picked up the book in the library.
---
Damian, barging the cave, clearly annoyed : Todd !
Jason, repairing his bike : What, demon brat.
Damian : Tell me this instance if you have taken my sketchbook.
Jason, looking up : Why the fuck would I have your sketchbook gremlin ? Your dog is more likely to have run off with it.
Damian stomps back into the manor grumbling about Titus being more polite that Tood could ever be. Jason decides to ignore him. Later, when he's done with his bike and picks up his current book for some well deserved reading time, something falls with a thud when he opens it. Apparently he was the one with the sketchbook and used it as a bookmark. He didn't even realised. He'll have to find a way to give it back without the baby demon knowing.
---
Jason and Cass are sitting on the couch when he remembers he left his phone in his room and is expecting some informations. He looks around for something that could keep the book open, finding nothing.
Cass is staring at him, signing : Looking for something ?
Jason stares at her hand for a few seconds, before shrugging. He takes her left hand, the closest one and put it on his book : Don't move just a sec, i gotta go get something.
Cass stares at his back incredulously. When he comes back and take back his book, she just shakes her head, a fond smile on her lips.
---
Bruce, walking into the living room where the kids are playing : Does anyone have 20 bucks I can borrow ?
Jason, snorting : Aren't you, like, the richest man in the country ?
Bruce : I need to pick up something and they don't take card. There was an issue with the bank so no money can be withdrawn. I put a 20$ bill in the kitchen but I can't find it.
Dick, standing up, taking his wallet : I've got you. You owe me now though.
Bruce, slightly smiling : Sure chum.
When Jason get back to his place in the next morning and drops on his bed, he pulls out the book Tim had recommended a few days ago (although nobody can know he's reading it). A 20$ bill slips on his bed when he opens the book. He takes it, putting it his back pocket.
Jason, grinning : It's sad he didn't even try to find it. It would have so satisfying to watch the great Batman look for a bill hidden in a book.
---
Jason is helping Alfred bring the groceries to the kitchen, because no one in the godforsaken rich family should be trusted with food or anything to do with cooking.
Duke, shouting from the library : Why is there a dictionary open in the middle of the library ? On another book ?
Jason, who hadn't had the time to look for a proper bookmark : It's so I don't lose my page.
Duke, still shouting : Why a dictionary though ?
Jason ignores him. He doesn't have to explain himself.
---
Dick, at Jason's door : Hey little wing, have you seen my blue swe-
Jason, looking at his phone on his bed : What ?
Dick : You're the one who had it all this time. Seriously Jay, why don't you just ask- Why is there an open book underneath ?
Jason, shoting up : Don't touch that ! You're gonna make me lose my page.
Dick, blinking : Don't you have like thousand of bookmarks ?
Jason : Shut up.
---
When Stephanie breaks in Jason's apartment, he is grumbling about babysitting while bringing his med kit. She reaches his couch and suddenly she's laughing so hard she ends up wheezing on the floor. Jason doesn't understand why, until she stands back up slowly, taking her phone out to take a picture. Jason doesn't know if she's laughing at the book mark that is in fact a mug, or at the mug itself. It's clearly holding on for dear life, put down in between the pages, absolutly not stable. He then receives a text on the children Batman kidnapped 's groupchat, seeing a picture of a mug with Batman's signature bat symbol and the inscription 'this mug survives longer than Robins' (actually, Tim has a matching one with the inscription 'bats don't kill... coffee might', but no one needs to know that.).
#got this idea after seeing my friend use money as a bookmark#batfam#batman#jason todd#red hood#batfamily#batkids
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Trust in me
Risk
What have you done?
Lower, lower, and stop in front of the playtime care, walking beside Harley in silence when you both walk by the toys, they cower or hiss. Kneeling down to their level to get a better look at the children, you hold one of the smaller critters. That was when Catnap came to view, he leaned in with a head tilt, you rubbed a hand over his head with careful poise, leaning into your hand the giant toy breathed out, Red...smoke...
"Enough." Harley orders and you both split apart, so the follow continues, "Who is that?"
"Theodore." It was quiet but he was prideful and held no remorse while you stared at each toy with a sad gaze, it was beside you. Any other time you held a gaze of firm animosity for every scientist who mistreated the toys. Scolding, yelling, even demonstrating the pain the toys experienced. But this is beyond you, Mommy and Huggy were easy access to your kind words and gentle touch. But these toys, these children, are out of reach.
Out of your hands, "Earth to my dear partner."
"Oh, sorry I was just spacing out."
"You seem to be doing that often." You both go silent knowing that this would wedge a rift if no one spoke, so you get ready to plead, but he cuts you off. "Listen, just because you cater to that bleeding heart of yours doesn't mean it'll save you from this moral veil you hide behind. You aren't the only one who had their moral compass challenged, and you will not be the last. I'm doing this because these orphans deserve better, I'm giving them better. Elliot didn't understand but you will soon enough."
He walks further ahead while your unshed tears begin to slide down your face, "......"
The walk was quieter than ever, the fight, flight, freeze or fawn triggers were rising in the head. All you can think of was, "Stop wallowing" or "Huggy is being patient for you." He was, wasn't he?
What have you done?
You first met Huggy, it was frightening, what happened to this toy? "What did you do?"
"We were training him; he's shown signs of complete obedience and respect.."
"Are you daft!? Damn it, he's practically seething!" You open the cell, bringing in a basket filled with fruits. "What are you doing!?"
Eddie tried to open the cell, but you continued your job, placing the basket down, holding Huggy's paw and then feeding the bigger toy. "You, okay?" He was quiet...
Unblinking, unmoving, he ate the apple, then the fruits after, and afterwards the giant toy was showing you his scars, so you wrap a bandage around them. "....."
It was irritating, to see these toys, above, below...
How much lower does this go?
That memory was so far behind, Eddie was furious, and you simply didn't care. Now that you know the truth, how dare he show signs of fury!? You're no better, the sinking feeling and the idea to manipulate Harley to be gentler. How stupid.
"Ya know, Elliot has a daughter. Poppy....she's further up, you and Poppy didn't meet yet, but I don't plan to let you both meet." Sawyer's words cut deep, he knew you well enough to know that if Poppy had any chance to whisper any form of the truth, you'd lose your mind.
What have you done?
That suspicion reaching your eyes, it made Harley shudder with excitement, he adores the reactions. The nights spent together, the breakfasts, or times you'd visit his place just to cook him some food or sometimes give him a loving break.
Spoiled is what he is, and he didn't even realize how badly this was hurting you and him both.
When you both went back up, the critters crawled up and you knelt down, hugging one of them. It was then Harley realized something, he noticed your gentle demeanor, somber smile, the way you cradled this critter...
"You're pregnant."
You try to avoid giving an obvious reaction, but the way his hands held your face, his fingers move to the back of your ears. He was searching for a pulse; you blink then chuckle out weakly. "Of course not, silly! I just really wanted to adopt Quinn, He's very sweet. Precious too."
He hums in thought, "Stella told me."
That made it skip two beats, and he was back to his calm apathetic demeanor. "So, when did you plan to tell me?"
"I...I don't know." You turn ahead as if that would even matter.
"You should have told me."
"Why?" Harley sighs as if he was tired of hearing you question his nuance, he suddenly snaps.
"Because it makes you more sentimental, your bleeding heart is already interrupting my handwork, because that simply means you're having our child, and it most of all means you are being a threat to yourself and this unborn life." You wince at each word, ignoring the rising tears that you blink away.
"I wouldn't have to put myself at risk if you weren't actively lying and manipulating me. But who am I kidding, I'm no better, those toys, those children. They were looking up to us, to Elliot. I'm not perfect but my worst mistake was letting you into my heart." The train stops, and you both go your separate ways.
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
TW//bleeding, miscarriage, adoption plans, signs of depression (If you or a loved one is experiencing anything like this, seek help or call a trusted adult/loved one/ take the chance to therapy)
You were so stupid, it's all your fault, yes, your fault.
The metal floors clank with fury while you march past Stella, Leith, more scientists, Stella notices your angry tears and she follows.
"Hey- Hey!" She holds your face, while you sniffle weakly. "....Did..."
The woman looks at your stomach, then you while those unshed tears fall once more. "Oh..." She hugs you close, "It's okay."
"No, it's not..."
When you reach the door, her door....
"Poppy."
You open the door.
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
Walking inside this playhouse, you see the doll. "Poppy."
She turns with her giant doll-like eyes, staring in fear of being hurt again, but you merely kneel down and hug her close. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
Poppy didn't know what to say, are you a friend? Did Ollie....no.
You continue hugging her.
She told you everything, Elliot, Harley, Quinn, all these children...Ollie.
The stress was enough to create such a dark mindset, in the back of your mind you weren't any better.
Rich noticed the signs carefully placing a hand on your shoulder, "Hey, um...try not to let this place get to you."
"It's fine Rich, you don't have to comfort me. Especially with the privileges I have compared to you, yea." It was true but so what!? Rich knew that, yet he still cared, the idea was simply that you were grieving.
"Ya know, I loved that boy. Quinn, I cherished him as if he were my own. Then I stupidly...." You look at the cameras, letting more tears cascade down.
No amount of comfort could save you, even with how stressful things were getting.
Prototype acknowledged that the third time you visit him, "liFE gROwS wItHin....YOu, aRe not Happy?"
"No, I'm not..." His hand holds yours; a twisted form of comfort arises, he wasn't one of them and yet...his voice, Harley's voice.
You found comfort in them, ".....Catnap, in one of the files I read, he mentioned a further...down..."
"tHe pRIsOn..."
The prison, your eyes widen...No, no no..
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
Prototype knew what he was doing, surely you didn't.
Harley slams his fist down, "What have you done!?" He shouts, "What did you tell them!?"
Prototype chuckles darkly at Harley's anger, thriving off his agony even if it meant you were the one suffering. To Prototype you were indeed, no different than the rest, which is why you needed to find out the hard way.
You stare at this creature, files on the side, holding your stomach while Yarnaby breathes heavily through his cell. Unable to recognize you, Quinn, could not see the person who was so excited to take him in. Share the sweet life of home with Harley, what a stupid naive dream!
As you move further, you see Doey, and your mind races back to things you brushed off. "Experiment 1322 A and B.." Then to the accident, you were here long enough to acknowledge the dough incident. "Jack.." What of his parents?
Doey looks at you in confusion while you feel sweat beads going down your face, sensing your stress he begins to knock on the window, as if to warn the scientist. But no avail, suddenly you were on the ground, cradling your now shaking form.
Scientists only stopped when you were on the ground, the immediate thought was to call Stella.
You feel something...pain...contraption, Stella was beside you, once more hugging your feeble form. She breathes heavily, "How far- Hey. How far along was it!?"
"......T-Two months." Stelle sweats, while she anxiously orders for you to be taken to a lab.
Hours would pass, and she was on the floor weeping, sniffling with self-loathing. She had this chance to send you to the hospital, hell frame Harley or give up the evidence...but Lieth remains on her mind, his words. Their miracle working goal...
Now all she could remember was the blood curdling screams of anguish you let out; they filled the room. Her ears keep ringing as they start to turn into cries and then voices of another scientist trying to comfort you. Whispers upon rumors fill the prison and laboratory.
"Why would he do that?"
"What was even going on in their head?"
They blamed him, then you, then they'd call you ignorant or naive..
Privileged, Stella remembered when you tried so hard to protect that sweet bliss of hers. Keeping a smile, even sugarcoating Harley's words while she was a bit offended by his remarks. She remembered when you placed a yellow daisy in her vase, she enjoyed those a lot.
Her mind then went to Harley's when he placed that Tuberose, that Poppy flower, you tried so hard to protect her, and she failed you.
Harley had to cover this up, he sat beside the medical examination bed, while you say nothing. "I- didn't expect you to.."
"Be so naive?"
He sighs with regret of spilling out those words, "You didn't expect me to want to adopt Quinn?"
Harley merely covers his face while you list out more things that contradicted his work, for you to acknowledge your own flaws merely simply made it worse.
"I love you." Harley weakly responds, now holding your hand. "I should've just transferred or-"
"Fired me? Or baby trap me?" No not that that was cruel and just, uncalled for. It would be disgusting; he's seen cases like those. So, have you and for you to say that it made him want to cringe at the idea.
"I don't hate you Harley, I'm just disappointed in myself for falling for the facade I made up about you."
Harley stays silent when he realizes his perspective didn't match yours, his...you...
he failed; you were his failed experiment. He'd have to live with that forever.
When he left, Stella came in and hugged your hand to her head with sadness. You both were silent; it was a sad comfortable silence.
One week later and a Peony was resting in your vase, Stella's had a Yellow Carnation and Harley's had a butterfly weed.
Things were tense as they should be, Leith expected this but to find out the reason. He was disappointed rather than snarky about the incident, so he placed a white rose in the vase. You look at him while he walks away.
To him you were the one scientist he despised, not because of envy, or hatred, or disdain, but because he knew someone of your caliber and heart would get torn apart by Harley. Whether Harley wanted to or not, that was what made Leith, and you clash, he was usually bemused with your interaction with the toys.
He just wishes he could have stopped you in time.
#ppt harley sawyer#ppt2#ppt 3#ppt#ppt chapter 4#harley sawyer poppy playtime#harley sawyer x reader#harley sawyer#slight stella greyber x reader#leith pierre#kissy missy#doey the doughman#yarnaby mention#quinn poppy playtime#stella greyber#poppy playtime x reader#poppy playtime#poppy poppy playtime#huggy wuggy#tw miscarriage#reader is gn
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Foster Care (KerstinCasparijXRuthBrownXTeenReader)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/7edad33d776f49e4b1042c6fc8bcf98a/04a3d1b58409af8d-52/s540x810/57d7d261dda963c8b4f31a14f8b4ad089edbd918.jpg)
Warning: talks about foster care and slight trauma mentioned.
A/N: i hope you like this. It is a bit short but it won't be the last time writing about them.
Summary: Kerstin and Ruth take you in when you make your Manchester City Debut and they find Out you are living in a Foster group Home. you are not feeling well so they step up.
You had moved in with Kerstin and Ruth around three months ago. You made your Manchester City Debut for the Senior Team around five months ago. As soon as they found out that you lived in a Foster group Home they applied to Foster you and are planning on adopting you.
They really made you feel so loved. Something you never really had experienced in your life. So this was nice.
They were really caring and protective of you. You realized that once again when you woke up in the middle of the night, coughing like crazy. So you dragged yourself to the kitchen to make yourself a tea.
Ruth heard you and went to check on you.
"y/n, darling is everything okay?" She asked. Looking quite concerned when she noticed the sweat on your forehead and the glassy eyes.
"yes, just wanted to make myself a tea." You answered . "Maybe i am getting sick!" You added. She gently placed her hand on your forehead.
"you are burning up, Angel! I think you already are pretty sick. get back to bed please. I will make you some tea!" She told you and offered you a sympathic smile.
Before you could say something, Kerstin walked over.
"is everything okay?" She asked.
"y/n is sick. She has a fever." Ruth explained. Kerstin frowned softly.
"oh kiddo, i am sorry to hear that! Anything i can do?" Kerstin wanted to know.
"can you go with me and tuck me in?" You asked, biting down on your bottom lip.
Kerstin offered her hand to you, which you gladly took.
"yes of course!"she told you, smiling at you.
She then walked you back to bed. You got into bed and cuddled up to your Manchester City pillow.
"Can you lay with me until i am back to sleep, please?"
You asked her and she nodded her head softly. "Of course liefje." Kerstin laid next to you and you cuddled up to her. At the age of 15 right now was the first time you felt like you have found your place, where you could show weakness and be vulnerable. Kerstin held you and gently rubbed your back, you were coughing softly.
"Thank you!" You whispered out.
Ruth walked into your room 10 minutes later to found you asleep, you weren't the only one though. Kerstin was also asleep. Holding you protectively in her arms. Ruth smiled to herself. Placing the Cup of the on your nightstand and taking a picture of the two of you all cuddled up. She thought it was very cute. She went back to bed so you could get some rest. You made it until 5am before waking up from coughing so much. Kerstin was woken up by that as well. She helped you sit up and rub your back. Ruth walked into your room as well.
"Oh sweetie, it's okay. We are here!" Kerstin answered.
"thank you!" You slowly calmed down from that coughing fit.
"i will stay home with you today! Gonna call work to let them know i won't be coming in!" Ruth said, sitting down on the bed as well. Checking your fever again. "you are still burning up!" She stated and frowned softly.
"you don't have to stay home for me! I know your Job is important!" You said softly.
"you are way more important, lovely." Ruth told you.
"i can also stay home if you want." Kerstin offered.
"No, it's okay. The Team needs you. Both of us missing out on practice and most likely the Game won't help anyone." You said softly. "Oh what about my homework?" You added.
"i will tell Viv to ask Helene to take your homework with her so i can grab it from Viv." Kerstin replied. Helene was Viv's and Beth's adoptive daughter and also your best friend. She also played for Manchester City and was a year older then you.
"thank you." You answered. Ruth gave you some meds and then you went back to sleep while she was cooking some soup for you to eat later and Kerstin getting ready for early morning practice.
You almost slept through the entire day. You ate some soup, took a bath and cuddled with Ruth.
It was 6pm when Kerstin came back Home from another round of practice and you had some Family cuddles. Slowly starting to feel better.
"thank you for everything Mama & Mom." You whispered out before drifting off to sleep. The two couldn't help but smile and tear up a little when you said that. Knowing that you felt Safe enough to call them your moms was a big thing. They couldn't wait until the Adoption was finalized. And neither could you.
#woso x reader#woso request#kerstin casparij x ruth brown x teen reader#Manchester City women x reader
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All righty, here we go, diving into more of the angsty love triangle!! *rubs hands together* 😈
However, it wasn't enough to block out the sounds that were coming from your bedroom or the subtle knocking of your headboard against the metal wall between his and your room that grew louder and louder every passing minute.
Oooh my God, poor Dean. 🫣 This is literally torture for him! lol
When you'd agreed to move to the bunker Dean had insisted you live in the bedroom next to his. It meant that if there was a problem in the middle of the night, Dean would be the first to hear you scream and the first to protect you.
I had a feeling this was why he insisted on her living in the room next to his, our big protective man, but now it's coming back to bite him in the ass. 💀
He remembered how soft you felt under him, how you clung to his body as if he was the only thing grounding you to earth, how natural it felt to be there protecting you, how you sighed when he pushed your hair back from your face, and how all the soft parts of you seemed to fit perfectly against all of the hardened muscles of him.
He'd lost so many things in his life and he knew that he couldn't lose you, not without losing a piece of himself.
Sobbbiiiiiingggg -- oh Dean. 😭😭
It made Dean feel like someone had ripped at his insides with a pickaxe seeing you hurt and listening to the whimper of pain that passed through your lips. He knew that he went too far when you broke his nose, but damnit, Dean just wanted you to be safe! And you never listened to what he told you because you were just so damn stubborn and always got on Dean's last nerve.
God Dean! You can only bury your emotions under assholery and anger for so long. He can hate the fact that she's a hunter and want more for her, but he has to accept that it's her choice, and he can support her and be honest with her rather than succumbing to his assholery. 🥲🥲
But of course, his "I'm not worthy" mentality crops up as well. 🙃 Makes you want to throttle him (if in more than one way lmao)!!
The thought that he was suffering so much while trying to find her when she was in another world is also heartbreakingly on-brand for him. He'd so be tearing through every piece of lore and resource to try and get her back. 😭
"That better be a way for use to get rid of the walking Trojan ad." Dean huffs, throwing himself into the chair across from his brother. Please let them be using protection. The last thing I want is to be stuck here to raise super baby. I had enough problems with Jack.
💀💀💀 Come on now, Dean, don't be petty. 🤣
"Just listen to me for a minute." Sam points at him with the pen. "She might be stubborn and sarcastic on the outside, but she's not callous or emotionless. She hides what she's feeling deep down, just like you do. And I think that she likes Ben because he doesn't hurt her and he makes her feel wanted." But I do want her.
TELL HIM, SAM. SHAKE HIM UNTIL HIS GREEN EYES ROLL INTO HIS HEAD -- make him see how he's acting!! lol
Your eyes trace the way his dark hair has fallen into his face and over the pillow, and you reach up to push some of the strands back from his face. But with it comes the ghost of how you wanted to do the same thing to Dean earlier, that your fingertips had itched to feel his brownish golden hair in your hands.
Gahhh pain. so very pain, even though it hurts so good. 😭😭😭
Dean kissed like he wanted you to understand and that he wished to understand himself. Dean's kiss was passionate, filled with enough emotion that it left you breathless. Ben was never afraid to take what he wanted but Dean, he was almost asking, trying to let you understand, and trying to listen to what you wanted.
"I-" He swallows. "I'm sorry. I didn't know how much I hurt you. All I wanted was for you to be safe and to talk to me the way you talk to Sam." His voice is quiet, just a soft rumble, but you can hear a tremor on the edge of his words. "I didn't mean to make you hate me."
Omggg finally!! Finally Dean's being honest about how he feels without being a dick about it. 😪
But he didn't, he never did. And in the kiss is something else, years of emotions the two of you pushed down, years of being frenemies of almost losing each other, years of ignoring what was developing between the two of you, and years of watching the other fall for the wrong person.
Ughhh such soul-rendering description, and the spice here is oh so delicious. ❤️🔥❤️🔥
But I have to point out that the reading is having a DAY loll. Two beefcakes in one night?? 😏
(Also, I'm afraid of how Ben is gonna take this. 😬)
"Don't do me any favors sweetheart, we had fun." Ben shrugs. "That's all this was."
Oh sure, pretend she meant nothing to you to spare your deep-down man feelings. 🙄
"Stupid, fucking piece of shit!" Ben growled at the computer monitor in front of him that had a bright red ERROR message splayed across it.
LMAOO Ben vs. Technology -- I think we all know who's winning. 🤣
And Ben secretly liking therapy just so he just has someone to vent to for an hour? Be still my heart, honestly. 😭
The version of you Ben knew from Dean's universe flashed through Ben's mind again. She was more confident and outgoing, but you looked a little shy, hiding back in the cardigan and using the iPad in your hands as a welcome distraction to looking Ben in the eyes and like a shield. He thought it was cute.
OMGGGGG I'M WEEAAAAK -- and he's already clocking IT girl's cuteness, I'm dead. 😂💞 The way he's already starting to like her better? I see what you did there. 😉
"To the ends of the Earth doll." Ben winks and watches the flush of your cheeks deepen to a crimson and hears the way your heart buckles and jumps when he does.
ahaha you charmer, you. 😂 A swoon-worthy line, even if we do know how sleazy this man can be lol. She really has no idea what she's getting into with this guy, but I love to imagine that with this nicely wrapped up ending! 💕💕
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Part 3: Why Is It A Big Deal?
Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Dean Winchester xf!reader
POV: Dean POV, Reader POV, Soldier Boy/Ben POV
Summary: Dean's in for a rude awakening when he finds out exactly what you did when you got stranded in another universe.
Tropes: Fluff, Frenemies (Dean and the Reader), Enemies to Lovers, Awkward Situation, Multiverse Problems, ANGST, Crossover
Word Count: 12.4K (I PROMISE I DIDN'T MEAN TO)
Listen While You Read: Treat You Better By Shawn Mendes
Warnings: I'm gonna label this 18+ just to be sure. There is some swearing, Making Out, Sexual Innuendo, References to Sex, Jealousy, A little homophobia (it’s Soldier Boy), Feelings, Angst, Self Deprecating Thoughts? References to Past Sex (it happens quite a bit). Soldier Boy Being Soldier Boy (Everyone knows he’s a warning). Dean Winchester Being Dean Winchester.
Note: This is told from Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is no use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!
Internal monologue is in italics and is in first person
A/N: It's finally here! I have loved the return to this universe more than words can describe. Each of the POV's are crazy in their own way. And again, don't forget to read the fic "Stranded" by @justagirlinafandomworld that inspired me to write this series in the first place! ENJOY!
Series Masterlist
Masterlist
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Dean POV
Dean leaned back on his bed at the bunker and jammed the pillow further down around his ears over his headphones. He was listening to a mixtape that he had burned forever ago, chosen because it had the loudest drum solos blaring through his Walkman. However, it wasn't enough to block out the sounds that were coming from your bedroom or the subtle knocking of your headboard against the metal wall between his and your room that grew louder and louder every passing minute.
Dean had tried his best to get Sam on his side when he proposed the idea that Ben didn't have to come back to the bunker and instead should be sent be sent back to wherever the hell he came from right then and there, but Cas was still out doing whatever it was he was doing, which meant that Ben was going to stick around for a little longer.
And it meant that Ben was finally getting his wish… you.
Dean's teeth gritted together when he heard another moan over the sound of the cymbals and felt a white hot spike of something in the pit of his stomach burn through his body.
When you'd agreed to move to the bunker Dean had insisted you live in the bedroom next to his. It meant that if there was a problem in the middle of the night, Dean would be the first to hear you scream and the first to protect you. But other than the time you stubbed your toe and Dean kicked down the door when he heard you yell with his gun drawn, there hadn't been an emergent situation that required his help.
Right now he was regretting the decision to have you live next door wholeheartedly, because it meant that he was having a front row seat to everything Ben and you were doing in your bedroom.
Dean sighed, his eyes squeezed shut, as he tried not to imagine what was happening, but he kept having flashes skate across his mind. He didn't want to see what it looked like or sounded like to have Ben's name tumbling from your lips, all Dean wanted was to hear you say his name like that and to be the one making you fall apart beneath him.
Not some asshole from another universe.
The image of you laying under him back at the school came back to him in a wave, pushing away the revulsion momentarily. He remembered how soft you felt under him, how you clung to his body as if he was the only thing grounding you to earth, how natural it felt to be there protecting you, how you sighed when he pushed your hair back from your face, and how all the soft parts of you seemed to fit perfectly against all of the hardened muscles of him.
He hadn't even made love to you and you laying there on top of you felt more intimate than any experience he'd had in his life. Dean wanted to exist in that moment with you a little longer, to savor those last few seconds of you staring up at him as if he was the only person in the world.
The memory of Ben kissing you after followed. Dean remembered the way Ben's lips roughly took from you and the way he held on to your face and it snapped Dean out of it. It hurt him more that you let Ben kiss you after Dean had been the one to save you.
Fuck.
His teeth gritted hard together so tight that he heard them grind. He hated watching you with Ben, hated watching Ben do the one thing that Dean had wanted to do for years. And Dean also hated the way that Ben treated you, as if you were something to be possessed and showed off, as if you weren't smart or anything more than just beautiful.
Dean had known from the first moment he saw you in Ellen's bar years ago that you were the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen in his entire life. You were funny, kind, sarcastic, and had a hard edge that you'd developed after years of being a hunter, but there was something else, a softer side of you that you didn't let everyone see, something hidden beneath it all that you only allowed yourself to have whenever Sam was around, but never with Dean.
It made him hate his brother a little bit, seeing how effortlessly the two of you had developed a friendship, while Dean had to practically Heimlich you to talk to him.
Dean wanted to see that side of you so badly. He wanted you to smile at him the soft way you smiled at Sam, and wanted you to laugh at his jokes or tease him playfully about his hair or about what he was wearing that day the way he'd seen you with his brother.
He tried to find reasons to be in the same room as you, drifting to sit nearby while you read or watched a movie. You always seemed different then. Your body was relaxed, open, with just a hint of a smile curving on the edge of your lips that made Dean want to stare at you for the rest of his life.
He tried to make you laugh whenever he could and tried his best to impress you, but each time he did you'd only roll your eyes and make a sarcastic comment. You didn't like him, Dean knew that, but he wished you did.
Sure he was maybe a little harsh on you sometimes, but Dean didn't want anything to happen to you, he was trying to protect you, because he knew the moment he stopped caring so much would be the moment he lost you.
He'd lost so many things in his life and he knew that he couldn't lose you, not without losing a piece of himself.
He hadn't felt like this about anyone else ever, and he didn't know what to do with his feelings. Bottling them up only seemed to hurt him more, but whenever something happened on a hunt or you tried to split away from him and Sam, he panicked and said things that he shouldn't instead of the three little words that he'd been wanting to say to you for years.
That's what happened a few weeks ago on a hunt, when you went into a house alone and faced a poltergeist that threw you across the room and into a glass cabinet. Dean had stood there yelling at you trying to tell you how stupid it had been for you to go in alone, while biting back what he really wanted to say- that he couldn't lose you. He couldn't lose you because looking at you was like watching the fireflies along a misty road at dusk, each one lighting a path in the darkness that showed him the way.
Yes he was angry, but all Dean saw was the bloody ripped sleeve of your shirt, and the way your face had contorted in pain when Sam picked you up and helped you back to the car. It made Dean feel like someone had ripped at his insides with a pickaxe seeing you hurt and listening to the whimper of pain that passed through your lips. He knew that he went too far when you broke his nose, but damnit, Dean just wanted you to be safe! And you never listened to what he told you because you were just so damn stubborn and always got on Dean's last nerve.
The truth was he hated that this was your life, hated that you were a hunter and each day you put yourself in danger, because he believed you deserved more. You deserved a normal life with someone who loved you, maybe a few kids, a dog, and a life far from the world that Dean and you knew so well.
Of course the thought of you with anyone else made Dean want to put his fist through a wall. The problem was even though Dean wanted you, he believed that you deserved better than him. You deserved the white picket fence and suburbia, not a darkened bunker underground with a man who wasn't sure he still had anything good left.
It was the reason why he didn't want to tell you how he felt, that, and Dean believed you absolutely hated him and hated being around him in the first place. It's why he buried it beneath the surface for so long.
However, when he was looking at you Dean often forgot the things that happened to him. You made him want to keep getting back up to fight if not for anyone else, for you.
But then Ben had shown up.
When you'd gotten dragged to another universe, Dean had tried everything in his power to get you back. He'd screamed and prayed for Cas so loud and so many times he went hoarse, he'd looked through almost every book he knew of to find the spell to bring you back to no avail, tried several rituals that promised results but gave him nothing, looked at his computer screen for so long that it made him cross-eyed, and drank coffee so strong it made his heart race.
But all Dean knew was that you were somewhere else alone, where he couldn't get to you or protect you, and it made him sick. He hated the thought of you alone trying to fight your way to survival in a place like the Endverse. When Cas finally came five days later and helped Dean bring you back, Dean had been so happy to see you that he'd almost hugged you, but instead he'd made an off-brand joke and you'd run into Sam's arms for a hug that made his chest tight.
Dean thought that he was having a nightmare when he saw Ben, a man who looked so much like himself, stride into the motel room confidently and kiss you. Dean was waiting for you to push him away, to tell him to fuck off, but you didn't, you liked it. And judging by the sounds Dean was hearing through the wall he could see that you wanted Ben.
All it did was piss Dean off that another version of himself got to have you and he didn't. Not when he'd known you longer and you'd only known Ben for five days.
Five fucking days. She's known that asshole for five days and she likes him. She's known you for years and she can't even stand to be in the same room with you.
The thought made Dean's heart clench in his chest. He didn't understand what Ben had that he didn’t have, he was him after all as Dean kept saying over and over to you. But Dean knew that deep down the real thing he was telling you over and over was not that Ben was him, but rather was asking the question: "why not me?"
Does she really hate me that much that she can't stand the thought of being with me? That she can stand to be with someone who looks exactly like me, but can't stay in a room with me for more than ten seconds?
Dean gets out of bed, stomps out the door, and down the hallway towards the library to try and escape the sounds coming from your room. They vibrate down the hall after him, like a flock of seagulls, mocking him all the way and doing little to ease the anger and jealousy swirling beneath his skin.
Sam is sitting in a chair with a large volume in front of him and a piece of notebook paper scribbling furiously when Dean enters the library, but he doesn't appear surprised to see his brother.
"That better be a way for use to get rid of the walking Trojan ad." Dean huffs, throwing himself into the chair across from his brother.
Please let them be using protection. The last thing I want is to be stuck here to raise super baby. I had enough problems with Jack.
Sam gives him a sympathetic look, and pushes his long hair back behind his ears. "Sorry. I'm researching a case in Kentucky, but Cas said that he'd be back in a few hours-"
"He said that ages ago! I want that asshole gone now." Dean's hand tightens on the arm of the chair, so tight that his knuckles are white. He was happy that the library seemed to be far enough away from your room to escape the noise, but he knew it was happening, which didn’t help at all. "I don’t understand what she sees in that dick."
Sam hesitates for a moment, tapping his pen against the notebook paper.
"Just spit it out Sammy." Dean sighs.
"He might be an asshole to you, but not to her." He replies simply.
"What the fuck does that mean?"
"Well you're kinda…" Sam shrugs and leans back into his chair trying to find the words.
"I'm kinda what?"
"You’re kinda a dick to her." He finishes. "She's getting fed up with it. The other day she told me that she's been thinking about moving out and going back on her own. I've been trying to talk her out of it-"
Dean's blood ran cold. He hated the thought of you leaving again, it meant that he wouldn't know where you were or if you were alive and he wouldn't be able to make sure you were prepared for a hunt or at least be there to have your back if something went wrong- because let's face it, something always went wrong. "What? What the hell are you taking about?! Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because she hasn't made up her mind."
"But why?"
"Because ever since the first time we’ve been going on hunts with her, you’ve been rude and-"
Dean interrupts his brother with a shout. "What? Do you expect me to hold her fucking hand? We’ve seen experienced hunters get killed out there with one simple mistake! And she’s just some amateur-"
"Dean, she's not an amateur." Sam sighs as if he can't understand why Dean was being so difficult.
He was. Sam was used to it whenever the subject of you came up in front of Dean, but honestly his brother's stubborn attitude when it came to you was annoying him.
"She is!" Dean snaps back wishing that he had a beer.
"No, she’s not." Sam shakes his head. "She’s been doing this just as long as we have. You know who her mom was and you know that her mom was just as hard on her as our dad was on you-"
At the mention of their father, Dean can feel his jaw tighten, memories flashing across his mind that he wanted to forget. The cold feeling of disapproval begins to creep up his spine to his shoulders, but Dean shakes it off. "That doesn’t matter."
"I think it does."
"What does that mean?"
"Well, Dean you keep saying that he’s you, but I'm starting to think that she's you."
"You need to stop using all those hair products Sammy, they're messing with your head-" Dean scoffs.
"Just listen to me for a minute." Sam points at him with the pen. "She might be stubborn and sarcastic on the outside, but she's not callous or emotionless. She hides what she's feeling deep down, just like you do. And I think that she likes Ben because he doesn't hurt her and he makes her feel wanted."
But I do want her.
The thought rises before Dean could stop it and he wonders if you'd spent all these years thinking that he didn't want you around when it was all he thought about. Every decision he made was to try and protect you, to put you first, and the thought that you didn't see that hurt him.
"I'd never hurt her-" Dean's voice comes out a little softer and more broken than he meant it to, catching slightly on the words.
Sam shakes his head. "Not physically. But the two of you have been doing this for years and I think that she's sick of you treating her the way you do and then she met Ben. She met another version of you who appreciates her. I know that you’re a little jealous-"
"I am not jealous!" Dean says on instinct, but Sam knows the truth, he's always known the truth, and Dean knows it too.
Sam rolls his eyes at his brother. "You should talk to her. Take Ben out of it and talk to her the way you talk to other people."
"I talk to her like I talk to other people." Dean grumbles as he gets up out of his chair intent on going to the kitchen to get a beer or something stronger to take the edge off.
"No you don't. So go talk to her." Sam waves a hand in Dean's direction before his gaze drops back down to the book.
"She's kinda preoccupied." Dean mutters under his breath and the image of you and Ben tangled up in your bed makes him flinch.
Sam looks up at his brother again, sympathy flashing in his eyes. "Dean-"
"Just leave me alone Sammy."
And with that he turns and makes his way towards the kitchen, hoping that he won't be able to hear Ben and you, and wishing that you hadn't met Ben in the first place.
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Reader POV
Ben mutters something in his sleep, rolling his body towards yours so close that his muscular right arm brushes against your bare shoulder. He was laying on his stomach, his face pressed into one of your many pillows, snoring softly, and taking up most of your bed.
It wasn't hard to. The full sized bed was hardly big enough for you, let alone two people, especially not someone as tall and broad as Ben. Which became more obvious when you noticed that Ben's feet were hanging off the end.
You sigh, laying on your back and staring up at the cracks in your ceiling, unable to fall asleep. You followed each one with your eyes, tracing the shapes they made like someone watching the clouds on a hill bathed in sunlight. You'd thought that after everything Ben and you did for the past two hours you'd be able to fall asleep as easily as he did, but you couldn't because your mind was awake and roaming everywhere it could.
It wasn't that you hadn't had a good time with Ben or hadn't wanted to have sex with him. Ben didn't force you into anything. You wanted to have sex with him. You had missed him and it had been a while for you, and you liked Ben. The problem was that now, after, there was an odd feeling stirring in the pit of your stomach, something that felt surprisingly like guilt.
I have nothing to be guilty about.
You chide yourself, hands curling and uncurling on the edge of the blanket the longer you stared up at the ceiling. But it was still there, bubbling up beneath the surface. Your mind kept slipping back into the memory of Dean and you in the broken auditorium.
Each time you closed your eyes you were back in Dean's arms, looking up at him while he pushed your hair out of your face and asked you if you were alright, his eyes filled with something that looked suspiciously like worry. He'd never acted gentle or caring like that before with you and you still felt odd from everything that happened.
Fuck. What is happening to me? I just spent the last two hours with Ben, I shouldn’t be thinking about anyone else but-
You sigh again and shut your eyes, but it just brings the image back to haunt you.
You hadn't had any thoughts like this about Dean, not ever, and you didn't know why now. You'd spent years thinking that he was a big jerk who hated you, but the Dean you saw earlier today was far from that.
In the past, Dean had your back a few times, but it hadn't been like earlier. He'd never held you close, covered you with his body as if he didn't care what happened to himself as long as you were safe, and he'd never brushed your hair away with such tenderness it made your heart flutter in your chest.
No. Dean has been a total dick from the moment I met him, he hates me, he-
The thought stutters to a stop when the hurt and jealousy in Dean's eyes when you kissed Ben comes flashing back through your mind.
Does he? Or did I just interpret that wrong? Maybe it was just the hatred he had towards Ben flaring but… why does he hate Ben? He has no reason to.
But despite everything that Dean had done to you over the years, you didn't hate him.
Even though he tap danced on your last nerve whenever he opened his mouth and often made you feel stupid you couldn't, not when you saw the way he cared so much for other people. Dean Winchester was selfless, he always put other people first and was willing to sacrifice himself if it meant someone else got to be happy and got to live.
You glance at the man lying in the bed next to you. Ben was handsome and strong. He possessed some of the qualities of Dean that you found attractive, but he treated you differently. It was what drew you to him when you got trapped in Ben's reality, not just that he looked like Dean, but that Ben joked with you, teased you, and he seemed to generally care about you.
Dean didn't act that way with you. At least, you'd never seen Dean act that way before today. Today was different than any other day and you wished that it hadn't been.
Ben mutters something else, and this time he leans more towards you, his arm coming up around your waist to hold you against his side. The warmth and weight of it was familiar, but it made the feeling of guilt grow larger in your stomach.
Why is this happening? I didn’t feel guilty the last time I had sex with him.
Your eyes trace the way his dark hair has fallen into his face and over the pillow, and you reach up to push some of the strands back from his face. But with it comes the ghost of how you wanted to do the same thing to Dean earlier, that your fingertips had itched to feel his brownish golden hair in your hands.
Before he'd drifted off Ben had asked you to come with him when Cas sent him back to where he was from, said that he wanted you there with him. You had an inkling that it was the first time that Ben had asked something so serious from a woman. But you weren't convinced that it was because Ben wanted to have a relationship, rather that he didn't want to be alone.
You'd be lying if you said you weren't considering it. Ben was kinder to you, gentle (in his own way), and he seemed to appreciate having you around. But there was something holding you back.
At first you thought it was Sam. He was your best friend and you didn't want to abandon him, but there was another feeling, an ache deep down that you didn't know the cause of. Other than Sam there really wasn't anything in this universe that would hold you back from going with Ben, but obviously there was, you just couldn't figure out what.
Sure Ben's reality was fucked up… yours was too. Demons and Angels duking it out for supremacy while other creatures hid under beds and in the dark to kill people or worse wasn’t ideal either. But you weren't sure what your life could look like there. There wasn't anything to hunt which meant you'd probably be dealing with supes instead and the thought wasn’t appealing. You weren't sure that you belonged in his world.
Maybe I should have asked him to stay with me?
The thought made you bite the inside of your cheek. You'd been thinking about moving out of the bunker. Yes it was the only permanent home you'd ever known, but Dean was getting on your nerves and you thought that maybe you should get a little bit of distance from him. Moving out and Ben staying meant that he could come with you on hunts, but you weren't sure that was the solution either. Ben was strong and brave, but you weren't sure that he had the precision or the delicate side you needed when approaching a hunt to do well here.
It was these thoughts that were keeping you awake and you decide to get some water to clear them.
You slowly begin to slip out from under the covers, gently moving Ben's arm off of you as slowly as you can as to not wake him before you make your way to your dresser to find a clean pair of panties and an oversized t-shirt. Ben sighs and shifts in the bed, the sheets pulling down just a little bit so you can admire the expanse of his freckled muscular back.
You'd seen Dean shirtless before once. He had come running out of his room with his gun drawn when you'd stubbed your toe on your bedside table and yelled. He hadn't put on a shirt before coming into your room, just aggressively kicked down the door wearing only a pair of hotdog pajama pants that you did mock him relentlessly for afterward. You didn't know why he'd looked so frantic when you yelled. It was just a toe after all. There wasn't anything for him to be worried about. Sam had showed up maybe ten minutes later rubbing the sleep from his eyes not worried at all.
But you'd remembered how Dean had looked shirtless. Sometimes the thought came flying into your mind at the most inopportune times, when Dean pissed you off and stuck his face so close to yours that you could feel his breath against your lips and the warmth of his skin through he air. The thought of him shirtless with his pajama pants hung so low on his hips that you could see every single hard defined muscle of his abdomen including the ones that made smart girls like you stupid.
You slipped on the clothes, but stop before you open the door to cast one more glance at Ben.
Although you knew that Ben and your relationship was more physical, there was a part of you that believed it could grow into something more if you went with him, something that you'd been wanting for a little while. Not just Ben specifically, but with someone.
Yes you were lonely, and Ben lessened the ache whenever he was around, but sometimes you wanted more than this and being a hunter didn’t help at all.
You never met anyone or tried to have a real relationship with anyone in a long time. The last permanent boyfriend you'd had wasn't a hunter, but someone you'd met in a bar after a hunt with Dean and Sam. It lasted Four months. Four months of you missing anniversaries, dates, and his birthday. He'd accused you of cheating on him with Sam and you'd found him in bed with his work partner when you'd tried to surprise him one weekend. You hadn't been surprised. Surprising was when the guy had tried to follow after you and both Dean and Sam had blocked his path and told him to "get lost." That was putting it nicely.
Sam had to hold Dean back from breaking the guy's arm when he shouted over the two of them at you that you "weren't worth the trouble." You didn’t understand why Dean was also just as pissed at the idea of the guy cheating on you as Sam.
You shake off the thought and tiptoe out of the room in the direction of the kitchen.
The bunker was silent, the metal floors cool beneath your bare feet as you walked down the desolate hallways. You glance at Dean's closed door for a moment as you pass and the feeling in the pit of your stomach tightens. A flash of the emotions on his face when you kissed Ben in the car and at the school flickers through your mind and you clench your jaw.
What the hell is wrong with me?
When you enter the kitchen you realize that you're not alone. Dean is leaning over the metal table his large hands braced on the top, his back to you, and his head bowed. A bottle of expensive whiskey sits on the counter in front of him next to a glass with the maple colored liquid inside. But the weird thing was that this wasn't the usual stuff Dean drank. This was the bottle that he had Sam hide from him for emergencies, the stuff that you'd only seen Dean drink when he was really upset and nothing else would cut it.
But what?
He turns when he hears you walk in.
You watch his eyes darken slightly as they skate over what you're wearing making your cheeks flush. You didn’t think he was still awake. If you had, you would have wore more than your favorite Metallica t-shirt that was worn soft from years of wear. Dean's gaze catches on the end of it where it hits mid-thigh, lingering a second too long, and makes something spark in your chest.
"Sorry. I was just getting some water." You clear your throat awkwardly.
"Romeo didn't get it for you?" Dean frowns as if the thought of Ben is an annoyance to him.
"No, he's asleep." You shake your head. "I thought you were asleep too-"
"Kinda hard to be sweetheart when the two of you are shooting a porno in the room next door to mine."
You feel your cheeks flush an even brighter pink. You didn't know that Ben and you were being that loud. The bed was a little squeaky, but you hadn't worried about the sound. The icky feeling in the pit of your stomach is back, the guilt rising in a wave the more you realize how much Dean heard.
Again? Why am I guilty? Ben and I had fun, he didn't force me to do anything. I wanted to have sex with him but-
"I'm sorry. I didn't know we were being that loud." You shake off the feeling and move around Dean to get a glass from one of the shelves.
"Guess he was making up for lost time huh? All those lonely months away from you fucking other women were hard I guess." Dean's words bite through the air and made your own temper flare up.
"He's not cheating on me. We weren't exclusive-"
"But you haven't been with anyone since you came back from his world."
Your hand freezes around the glass you reached for on the shelf. Why did he notice that? And why does he care?
The flicker of emotion in Dean's eyes when you kissed Ben in the auditorium comes roaring back, jealousy and hurt. It makes the guilt worse.
You let out a breath to calm the anger that wishes to bite back at Dean's comment. "Look, I know that you don't like him, but Ben isn't a bad person and even though it's not any of your business, we had fun."
You don't know why you felt the need to justify what you'd done with, but the words are out of your mouth before you can stop them. Standing here in front of Dean felt awkward, and it never had before. And it wasn't just because of what you were wearing, there was something else charging the air between the two of you. You were expecting a giant purple elephant to appear in the corner.
Dean chuckles, his eyes dark. "Did you now?"
"Yes." You reply, but you can't hold his gaze, not when he's looking at you like that.
Dean takes a long swig from the glass in front of him, his lips curling on the edges in a cruel smirk. This was the Dean you saw more often, the one that made you feel like a failure and a bother, but it was the first time that you longed to see the soft Dean who protected you from the fallen debris.
"I could hear just how much fun the two of you were having sweetheart." He continues. "But the man who isn’t a bad person toasted a woman that he slept with without batting an eye. Imagine what he'd do to you."
"A woman who was going to kill me." You say to defend Ben. "And he wouldn't hurt me."
Dean's eyes flick down to your thighs, his gaze hardening. "What do you call those?"
You glance down at the place where your shirt meets your thighs and notice the bruises. There were five on each leg and each was a perfect imprint of Ben's fingertips. They didn't hurt and you certainly hadn't felt or noticed them before Dean pointed them out.
But you knew that Ben would never hurt you. He wasn't like that.
Sure he killed that woman today, but she was crazy and she was trying to kill me and-
"He didn't it on purpose. He's stronger than us and sometimes-"
"Don't you dare make excuses for that asshole." Dean growls eyes flashing. "I don't care if he didn't do it on purpose, he still did it. He knows how strong he is and if he can't control himself he shouldn't be sleeping with you!"
"You're being ridiculous!" Ice clinks against the sides of your glass as you make your way back towards the sink.
"No, I'm not. And I want him gone!"
"Oh really?" You snark while placing the glass under the running water in the sink. "I had no idea. You've been so calm and collected since the moment Ben showed up."
Dean opens his mouth to respond, but instead huffs out a breath and pours himself another glass. The amber colored liquid splashes against the sides of the cup as Dean violently picks it up to take another drink.
An uncomfortable silence settles over the kitchen.
The water is cold, but you can't feel it when you take a sip, and you still can't quite look at Dean.
If he really is jealous, why can't he just come out and say it? Why is he being so stubborn and nitpicking someone else?
You sigh quietly to yourself and take another sip of water. The guilt was building again, prickling beneath your skin and bringing an uncomfortable sensation in the pit of your stomach the longer you stand there.
Why am I guilty? Dean being jealous has nothing to do with me and everything to do with him!
You think about going back to your room and being done with it, but you can't something is keeping you in that kitchen with Dean just as something is keeping him there with you.
"He-um-" You swallow. "He asked me to back with him to his universe."
Dean's entire body tenses as he explodes. "What? Are you fucking kidding me!?"
"No I-"
"Are you seriously considering that?" He demands looking at you like you're crazy.
"Yes. I am." You answer him honestly. There's something hidden beneath the surface that makes you want to tell Dean this. You're not sure if it's morbid curiosity or if it's something else, something that you can't quite place, but you want Dean to tell you what he thinks.
"But why?! You've known that asshole for five days!" Dean snaps back, but you can hear something in his voice, almost as if he's holding himself back from saying something else.
Dean please just say it! Don't keep it in!
"He's not an asshole, he's just rough around the edges." You shrug continuing to make excuses for Ben and thinking about the bruises on your thighs.
"Oh please." Dean rolls his eyes so far into the back of his head you wonder how they didn't get stuck on his brain. "If I took a piece of tree bark and ran it along his arm, he'd make it smooth."
"But-"
"Sam told me that you were unhappy here, but I didn't think you would throw your entire life away to be with that asshole!"
His words make you hesitate for a moment in surprise.
Sam told him that I was thinking about leaving? Why did he tell Dean that?
"What life Dean?" You shout, throwing your arms out to gesture to the entire room. "I don't have anything here! I can't keep a relationship because I let people down. I don't know who my dad is because he walked out on my mom as soon as he found out she was pregnant. My mom died four years ago. I go to bed every night wishing for something else to happen but-" Frustrated tears were burning in your eyes now.
You didn't want to cry in front of him, but the urge to was overpowering everything else, the emotions you tried to keep down for so long beginning to curl and reform from the dark recessive parts of your mind where you buried them the night you met Dean Winchester.
"You deserve better than that asshole!" Dean shouts over you taking another step in your direction.
"Oh and what do you think I deserve Dean? Are you saying that I deserve someone like you?
Dean grits his teeth in frustration, anger blazing behind his eyes. "No I-" He finds his words. “I can’t believe you slept with him.”
"Oh good! That dinosaur. Falling back on something familiar, what a typical Dean Winchester move!" You gesture wildly with your hands sloshing water onto the floor. "I don’t understand why you’re so upset about it. We’re both consenting adults. He didn’t force me to do anything.”
You put down the cup to avoid throwing the glass at him.
“I just don’t see why you did it!” He towers over you, his body pulled taunt with his own anger and frustration.
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“You shouldn’t be sleeping around with people like him!”
Is he out of his MIND?!
"Why not?" You demand, fists curling into balls at your sides because you know that it's not safe to put them anywhere else. The anger that was flaring in your chest was starting to rival how you felt the last time that Dean and you had an argument and you broke his nose. And it had just finished healing a few days ago.
"Because he treats you like a piece of meat!" Dean shouts it so loud you can hear the frying pans hanging in the kitchen clink together
"Do you even hear yourself? I have seen you in bars picking up women after a hunt-"
You had. Countless times. The bravado Dean had when the three of you were still floating on the adrenaline that was pumping through from a hunt you'd seen first hand in the bars where Sam and you sat at a one of the high top tables watching him weave through the crowds with the sound of classic rock blaring over the crackly speakers. You watched Dean find another woman for the night, saw how he tried his best lines and got what he wanted while you sat in the motel room next to his trying to read beside a sleeping Sam and avoid the noises coming from next door.
"This is different!" He fumes.
"How is it different Dean? I want to know!"
Is it different because he's jealous? Or did I just imagine that?
You didn't think that you did.
Dean's face is bright red with the force of his anger and you're sure yours must be too given how it feels like it's on fire.
"He's always touching you or kissing you, putting his fucking hands on you!" Dean's jaw is clenched tight. "I've never heard him give you one compliment other than how you look-"
You laugh in his face, but it comes out crueler than you meant it to. "In contrast to how many compliments you give me? Because I don't think there's been any of those."
"I compliment you." He huffs back.
"Oh really?" You scoff. "When?"
Dean is quiet for a minute. His eyes drag over you again, but this time the sweep of them bring a heat vibrating against your skin and your throat gets tight. "I like your shirt."
"HA!" You shout triumphant holding up a finger. "That's looks based."
"You didn't let me finish!" He scrambles. "I like your shirt because I like that band too and you have okay taste in music."
"Oh wooowwww. I have "okay taste in music" let me just swoon right here." You wave your hand back and forth. "Fuck you. I have awesome taste in music!"
"That's not what I-"
"And who is it that should I be sleeping around with? You?!" You roll your eyes trying to take a step away from him, but he moves to intercept you.
His fists are clenched so tightly at his sides that his knuckles are white. “I didn’t say that! Don’t put words in my mouth.”
His green eyes darken as he stares down at you, the fluorescent lights above the two of you catching the familiar hard lines of his face. Even though Dean looked like Ben, he still looked like himself in his own way. The familiar crows feet that graced under his eyes, the subtle tilt of his head, the rough stubble that pebbled over his chin and cheeks, the soft freckles, and the green eyes that you always found on you. There was a small scar just barely visible on the bridge of his nose and a few flecked on the edges of his face that made him more handsome.
You'd noticed how handsome he was in the past, but never like this. You'd never looked at Dean as other than someone who annoyed you. And yes he was annoying you now, but there was something else that you could feel threatening to explode, something you buried deep down and refused to unearth.
“I’m not putting words in your mouth Dean, I’m trying to figure out why this is such a big deal to you!”
Why is it a big deal?
“It just is!"
"Why? Because you're jealous?!" You hadn't meant to say it, but Dean's body goes taunt again.
"I am not jealous. I just don’t want you sleeping with him!”
“I think you are! And you’re not my dad Dean. You don’t get to decide who I sleep with!” You'd had enough of hearing him yell at you, of hearing him bitch about something that wasn't any of his business.
Who does he think he is? We're not together.
“That’s not what this is about-“
“Then what is it about Dean?! Why are you so hung up on something that is none of your business?!”
"It is my business!"
"How? How is it your business? Because you think that Ben is you somehow?"
"He is me!" Dean roars again and you wished he would stop saying it, because it was snagging on something in your chest.
A lie that you told yourself when you first started sleeping with Ben. You knew it. That you liked Ben because he looked like Dean and he appreciated you, that he didn't make you feel stupid, or ugly or not worth his time.
"No, he's not!" You shout back shaking off the feelings for what you hope is the final time. “Why do you care so much about this?!”
“Because I-“ Dean shouts, eyes narrowed at you. “Because I just do!”
“WHY?” You poke your finger into his chest. “I don’t care who you think you are. You don’t get to tell me who I can and cannot sleep with!"
“I’m not trying to!”
“Yes you are! And I am so sick of your bullshit Winchester. This is none of your business. None of this is. It's my life! So why don't you just take your unneeded opinion and-"
The rest of your sentence evaporates into thin air as Dean grabs your shoulders so tight you're sure they're be bruises and pulls you in for a searing kiss.
Your body is frozen in shock, the warmth of his lips against yours holding a softness that you'd never known.
Everything about this kiss is different than the ones you'd share with Ben. You knew better than to compare them, but Ben kissed like he meant to devour you. He wasn't hesitant or afraid to take what he wanted when he kissed you, but Dean?
Dean kissed like he wanted you to understand and that he wished to understand himself. Dean's kiss was passionate, filled with enough emotion that it left you breathless. Ben was never afraid to take what he wanted but Dean, he was almost asking, trying to let you understand, and trying to listen to what you wanted.
But just as he deepens the kiss you push him away and slap him across the face. The sharp sound rings through the kitchen and for a moment all you can do is stare at him shocked while the red mark on his face forms.
"What the hell was that for?" Dean shouts, but the emotion in his eyes wasn't anger, it was hurt.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" You shout back still out of breath. The ghost of his lips presses against yours and the taste of the whiskey remains on the tip of your tongue.
"I thought that-" He clears his throat, eyes widening.
"Thought what?"
"That you wanted me to-"
"To what? Kiss me?" The frustration was building again, because yes it had felt good to kiss him, but you hated that he was doing this now. That after years of him hating you, now when you had the possibility of being happy Dean was making this harder for you.
"Well-"
"No." You poke your finger into his chest, and this time you can't hold back the tears. They slip from your eyes, hot against your skin, as you feel every emotion that you'd kept bottled up beginning to surge up in a wave. "You don't get to do this Dean. Not now. Not after years of you treating me like shit."
Dean sighs and reaches for you, but you pull back from him. Hurt flashes in his eyes again and you can feel your own in the center of your chest. "I didn't-"
"Yes, you did. Damn it Dean, I'm not some shiny toy the two of you can fight over."
"That's not what I'm doing!"
"Then why now?" You ask in a half sob.
Dean pauses. "What?"
"Why after years of you hating me-"
"I never hated you." Dean's voice is more of a whisper than anything else.
"Oh bullshit. Yes you do!" You raise your hand to scrub at your cheeks, the tears falling quicker now.
It was the first time that you'd allowed yourself to cry in front of him, and you were fighting the urge to run back to your room. Ben was still there and you didn't know how the hell you were going to explain to you why you were crying.
"Will you just shut your damn mouth for five seconds and let me talk!?" He snaps running his hand through his hair, frustrated.
"Don't you dare tell me to shut up."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm going to break your nose again if you do!"
"You need to because I'm trying to explain-"
"Explain what? Explain that you've completely lost your mind? Explain that all the years of you undermining me, making me feel like a burden, teasing me, yelling at me, making me feel like I was stupid, and driving me absolutely insane, has just been you trying to say that you love me?!"
You hadn't meant to shout that at him. Hadn't meant to say the word love, but now it was there hovering in the air between the two of you. Dean's eyes are locked with yours and you don't think he's taken a breath since you spoke.
Because love was a little word, only four letters, but why did it always seem so heavy? How could one word have the same weight as a loaded gun? How could something so small cause so much pain and so much hurt?
"Yes." Dean looks down at the ground, not able to meet your eyes. He looks ashamed and you can't find the words to fill the silence.
Because Dean Winchester was in love with you. The man who you'd always thought hated you, who you thought wished that you were never around, and who you thought believed you to be an annoyance.
Holy shit.
"I-" He swallows. "I'm sorry. I didn't know how much I hurt you. All I wanted was for you to be safe and to talk to me the way you talk to Sam." His voice is quiet, just a soft rumble, but you can hear a tremor on the edge of his words. "I didn't mean to make you hate me."
The words strike you right in the center of your chest and it shocks you so much that you stop crying. You'd seen different sides of Dean before. Seen him angry, happy, annoyed, frustrated, sad… but Dean Winchester had never looked broken around you, not like this, and certainly not over you. Whenever something went wrong Dean would isolate himself from you in his room with a bottle of something to numb the pain. It made you feel like someone was gutting out your insides with a pitchfork.
The silence grows between the two of you again, and his head is still bowed and looking down at the floor in shame.
You exhale softly, controlled by something that you're not sure, and reach out towards Dean's face.
He flinches back from you, eyes rimmed red, looking at you suspiciously as if he believes you're going to break his nose. In hindsight, you supposed it was a reasonable fear to have since you'd done it in the past.
"What are you doing?" He asks, voice cracking. Dean's green eyes have dimmed, looking more like an aged jade pot that's sat outside in the sun for too long.
"Please shut up." You sniffle, the end of your mouth twitching into a smile, before you place your hands on the sides of Dean's face and pull him down to you.
The kiss is quick, only a brush of your lips against his to give yourself a taste and when it's done you pull back letting your hands fall to your sides. You're not sure why you did that. Maybe it's because Dean admitted to loving you and he looks like a lost puppy, but-
Dean steps forward into the space, his hands reaching towards your face, and you flinch.
“What are you-“
“Please shut up.” Dean murmurs, echoing the words you'd whispered to him moments ago.
His hands are rough and warm against your cheeks. Worn from years of carrying a gun in his hand and hard work he never shied away from. But they’re nothing but gentle against your skin as he pulls your face to his.
You could be standing on the surface of the sun and not feel as hot as you do now. A volcano could erupt and bathe you in lava and you would just scoff at it like it was a normal day, because kissing Dean feels infinite. It's all consuming. The scrub of his five o'clock shadow against your cheeks, the slide of his hands down your arms that bring goosebumps in their wake, the smell of his shampoo that you always catch when you walk into the bathroom, the nudge of his nose into your cheek, and the soft supple welcome of his lips that draw the breath from your lungs all take you somewhere otherworldly.
You couldn't stop. It was a compulsion, like magnets, like it was something you wanted to do for so long but buried it deep down to avoid the inevitable. Fueled by the belief that Dean would push you away, because Dean Winchester hated you.
But he didn't, he never did. And in the kiss is something else, years of emotions the two of you pushed down, years of being frenemies of almost losing each other, years of ignoring what was developing between the two of you, and years of watching the other fall for the wrong person.
Dean moans softly into your mouth and picks you up, his muscular arms fitting under your legs to place you on the counter, not pulling away at all and stepping into the space between them to fit himself closer to you. Your hands come to the back of his head, tangling in the short strands at the nape of his neck, shuffling your nails through his hair in a way that makes Dean shudder and pull you tighter to his chest.
Dean pulls back from you out of breath, but rests his forehead against yours, as if any further is too far from you and he doesn't wish to ever let you go.
"I don't hate you Dean." You whisper before he can say anything. "I can't. And I was only with Ben because I thought that this could never happen because you hated me-"
Dean's lips fall against yours taking your next words with it. "I don't hate you. I never did."
"Then why?"
He sighs. "I hated that you were a hunter, that this was your life, that you'd been doing this for so long with no one helping you."
"I'm okay."
"I know that, but I-" Dean hesitates. "I shouldn't have done what I did, but I didn't think that you'd want this-"
"This?"
"Me." Dean closes his eyes leaning further against you, almost as if he can’t hold himself up.
"Why?" Your grip on the back of his neck tightens.
"Because I'm-" He tries to find the word. "I'm not perfect. I'm a jealous asshole. I've done terrible things, made you cry.” He sighs. “You deserve better."
You kiss him softly. "There is no one better. I'm not looking for perfect, I'm looking for human. There's nothing wrong with making a mistake and being imperfect. The imperfections are what make you, you." Your fingers curl into the hair at the nape of his neck. "Dean, you're not a bad person. You are the most selfless man I have ever met. And maybe you've messed up a few times, but I have too. Do you think I'm a bad person for the things I've done?"
There was a list of them that seemed to grow longer each day and it was difficult not to dwell on the things of the past. But standing here with Dean, watching the weight settle on his shoulders, while he told you that he didn't think he was enough for you made you throw it all away.
"No.”
“Do you think that I’m not deserving of love?”
“No. But-"
You shush him. "Then don’t talk that way about the man I love."
Dean's eyes widen, but you watch the end of his lips twitch into a smile. "You love me?"
"Yeah." You whisper. "I think I always have, but I was afraid because you were-"
His mouth falls over yours so fast you don’t have time to finish the thought. "I love you too."
Your heart flutters in your chest with his words.
"Kinda hard not to." His thumbs stroke along your hip bone over the soft t-shirt sending electricity dancing along your spine.
You smirk. "You're right. I am pretty great."
"I think the word you're looking for is high maintenance." Dean smirks back at you.
"Aww… That means I'm out of your league and you're lucky to have me in your life." You giggle with a smile.
"I am." He murmurs, nudging his nose forward into yours moving in for another kiss.
Someone clears their throat from the other side of the room drawing your eye. Ben is leaning against the doorway dressed in his suit, watching where you're wrapped up in Dean's arms.
Any warm feelings you were having standing there with Dean immediately evaporate and the guilt comes roaring back. You'd forgotten that Ben was still here and you felt bad for him. You didn't want him to think that you used him.
"Ben I-" You begin to stutter, but he only shakes his head at you.
"You don't gotta explain anything doll, I know what this was." Ben smirks, but you see something flicker in his gaze for just a second before its gone. "And I'm man enough to admit when I'm beat. Even if I don't like it."
"But-" You try to say again.
Oh this is so awkward.
"Don't do me any favors sweetheart, we had fun." Ben shrugs. "That's all this was."
Cas walks into the room with Sam at his heels, who looks much too smug when he spies where Dean has you on the counter. You push Dean back and stand up, while Dean shoots daggers with his gaze leveled at Sam.
Sam isn't phased, but chooses not to say anything.
Ben rolls himself off the doorway and walks confidently to where Dean and you are standing, extending his hand towards Dean. "You take care of her." Ben's eyes flick to you for a second before focusing more on Dean. "She's special."
The hand of guilt on your throat tightens just a little more, because somewhere you wondered if Ben really was as aloof as he seemed or if he had started to care about you a little more than he let on.
"I will." Dean's smile is forced, and you see him squeeze Ben's hand a little tighter as he does. It only makes Ben smirk wider.
Cas begins to write the symbol on the floor taking care with each intricate detail to open the portal, but you stop him at the last minute.
"Wait." You take a step forward and hug Ben tightly. "Thank you."
"You're thanking me for fucking you?" Ben snorts throwing a smug look in Dean's direction that makes Dean bristle. "Guess I am a gift."
"Shut up." Your cheeks blaze bright red and you hear Dean growl something under his breath. "No, just thank you. For being here."
Ben hesitates. He raises his hand to your cheek, fingers tracing along your skin before he brushes away some of your hair. It was a gentle gesture from him, one that you weren't accustomed to. The emotion in his eyes shifts to something else, but he hides it with a smirk. "You're welcome sweetheart."
"Maybe you'll meet the me from your reality." You say, because you're not sure what else you can say, not when Ben is looking at you like that.
The entire situation was again reaching soap opera proportions and there was only so much you could take before you drove your car off a cliff.
The truth was, you did like Ben. You thought he was attractive, bold, strong, but there was always something a little gentle that lurked under the surface he never let anyone else see.
But you loved Dean. He understood what it was like to be a hunter, understood what it was like to not be able to live up to someone's expectations, and he loved you. You couldn't see a life with Ben, but you could see one with Dean. Ben didn't belong in your world and you didn't belong in his.
Ben's smirk twitches. "Maybe. But she won't be the same as you doll."
Dean clears his throat and steps forward to pull you back into his chest possessively. "I think your ride's leaving." You don't have to look up into his face to know he's frowning.
Ben chuckles. "You know what kid? You're alright." His eyes flick back to yours. "You give me a call if you get bored with him."
"She won't." Dean snaps. “And don’t call me kid.”
Ben only laughs at him and steps closer to Cas as he begins to finish the ritual and when the portal finally opens, Ben goes through without looking back.
And you don’t feel guilty anymore, because you knew that Ben understood.
"Finally." Dean breathes a sigh of relief that makes you snort, dropping his head to your shoulder. It was so casual that you had to remind yourself that Dean loved you and you loved him.
Sam clears his throat. "Hey Cas will you help me with something in the library-"
"What do you have to do in the library?" Cas frowns at him confused.
"Just something come on-"
"But why-"
"CAS!" Sam shouts casting an obvious look in the direction of where Dean and you are standing.
Cas looks at the two of you. "Are they coming with us to the library?"
Sam huffs out a frustrated breath and grabs Cas by the back of his trench coat to drag him out of the kitchen so Dean and you can have a few moments alone.
You snort at the confused look on Cas's face when Sam drags him out, before you turn your body in his arms to look up into Dean's handsome face. "Do you have any idea how ridiculous it is to be jealous of yourself?"
"I thought he wasn't me?" Dean smirks, his eyebrow arching with his tease. His fingers are resting resolutely on your hips, thumbs softly trailing in circles.
"He is a little bit." You admit defeated. "But don't look so smug Winchester."
"I think I'm allowed to be a little bit." His smirk grows and he leans his face down to yours. Instead of feeling angry at the appearance of his smirk it only makes you smile.
Standing here in the aftermath made you see Dean in a different light, made your heart buckle and jump in your chest the longer you stood there in the kitchen basking in the warmth that began to bloom in your chest.
"Maybe…" You gently touch the front of his buffalo print flannel, smoothing the fabric beneath your fingertips. It looked good on him, very little looked bad on Dean.
"Do you regret staying with me?" He mutters.
"What?" You glance back up to see his face and notice that he's not smiling, he's frowning at you, and his eyes aren't as bright.
Dean clears his throat. "Well you seemed like you were really going to miss him and-"
He doesn't get to finish his sentence. You throw your arms around his neck and pull him back down to you, putting you everything you have into the kiss, hoping that Dean can feel how you have no regrets staying with him, that all you want is him.
"Dean Winchester." You breathe, moving your hands to cup his cheeks so he can't look away from you. "I do not regret staying with you, because I love you." You pull him as close to you as you can, his warm hands splayed over your back. "This is where I belong." You kiss him on the tip of his nose. "And this is where you belong. With me."
Dean's eyes warm the longer you hold his gaze. "I'm starting to believe you."
"Anything that I can do to convince you?"
"I can think of a few things…"
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Ben/Soldier Boy POV
"Stupid, fucking piece of shit!" Ben growled at the computer monitor in front of him that had a bright red ERROR message splayed across it.
It had been two days since he'd left your reality, and he was trying his best to shove away the disappointment at the fact that you hadn't decided to come back with him. It wasn't that Ben wanted more than what the two of you had, it was that he liked having someone to talk to or try to talk to, and you were a good listener.
He didn’t like opening up to people, but there was something about you. He could trust you and Ben hadn't found anyone he could trust since he got back from Russia.
Ben also wasn't about to admit that he was lonely, he had plenty of women who were eager to warm his bed, but there was something about you that always made him feel different. He wasn't sure what that was exactly.
He'd also be lying if he said that he had wanted to explore it a little more if you'd come with him to his reality. The thought of you staying with him for an extended period of time in his apartment hadn't been unwelcome. Ben had never allowed other women to stay more than a day, but you… Ben would have let you stay as long as you wanted to.
Fuck.
He knew that he wasn't in love with you, but Ben knew he liked having you around. He liked being friends with you and he liked fucking you.
And yes he was disappointed that you had chosen Dean instead of him, but at the same time Ben didn't blame you. You had a history with Dean and when you'd been forced into Ben's reality, you'd talked to him a lot about Dean. Ben knew that you liked Dean more than you cared to admit.
But there was still an unwelcome feeling in the pit of his stomach that Ben wasn't accustomed to.
Ben huffed out a breath to push away the thoughts, while looking at what was left of the keyboard on his desk. The keys were scattered across the wooden top like bits of confetti, broken easily underneath his large fingertips when he'd tried to write an email
When he'd come back from Russia, Ben had taken a job working for the Department of Supe Affairs, but he was "grounded" due to the "anger issues" that he swore he didn't have, and because he didn't listen to Butcher whenever he gave him an order.
I don't need to follow orders. I'm Soldier Boy! I should be giving the orders!
Basically it meant that he was stuck on a desk indefinitely until Annie January, the new department head, released him. She'd also ordered that Ben go to company mandated therapy sessions once a week. He'd refused to go, but after Annie threatened him with termination of his contract, which meant that Ben would have gone back to being someone who "looked like someone who used to be famous," he'd gone to therapy.
And he refuses to admit this to anyone… but he liked it. Someone who was paid to listen to him bitch for a whole hour about whatever pissed him off and actually kept their trap shut was just what he needed.
Sometimes it reminded him of when he would talk to you, but there were still things that he refused to tell anyone and some of those things he had told you.
Ben ran his hand through his hair frustrated at his predicament. He would have liked to go into the field and take out some of his frustration on another supe, but Annie refused to give.
Ben didn't like listening to women, but even he had to admit Annie had a set of brass balls and he respected her for it. She didn’t take shit from anyone and especially didn't listen to Ben's bitching over why he should be in the field instead of being chained to a desk.
"Oi you all right mate?" Butcher calls and Ben can hear the shit eating grin without looking up from his computer screen.
The error message was still displayed in bright red letters, mocking him.
Ben knows that Butcher doesn't give a shit, and is probably about to start teasing him about his inability to adapt to modern day technology.
It wouldn't be the first time.
"Don't you have something better to do? Like fucking that little bitch that Annie is ploughing?" Ben spits back, clicking on the mouse but all it does is bring up another error message in another language.
"Oh mon ami, that doesn't look good." Frenchie walks by to stare at the computer screen that has now gone slightly fuzzy.
"I don’t think that's going to fix it mate." Butcher laughs. " But I called IT."
"I don’t need any of those four-eyed fucks helping me!" Ben snaps turning to narrow his eyes at Butcher.
He's holding a white cup of tea, wearing his usual long trench coat and Hawaiian shirt, with the shit eating grin that Ben knew Butcher was going to have when he looked up.
The last thing Ben needed was some nerd telling him everything that he did wrong. He was already on a first name basis with the director of the IT department, who was a little weasel of a man and who no longer picked up the phone when Ben called to yell at him.
"I think you're gonna want to listen to this particular four eyed fuck. She's new." Butcher gloats. "But don’t say I never did anything for you Soldier Boy."
"What the fuck does that mean?" Ben shouts at Butcher's back, but he's already gone.
Ben turns back to the error message that has begun to flash an even brighter red and now has a countdown.
"Fuck, fuck fuck-" Ben growled and to remedy the situation he puts his fist through the computer screen. It makes a high pitched electrical popping sound, showering his desk in sparks, while the overhead lights flicker, before the screen goes completely black.
Ben was not stupid, but he was a little slow when it came to modern day technology. He was doing better than he had initially, but it was taking him a longer time to understand using his desktop computer at work than his cell phone.
"Hi, I'm from IT. Mr. Butcher called and said that you might need a little help." The voice was small and tentative, coming from somewhere on Ben's left.
"I don't need any help. Especially not from a fucking four-" Ben started to growl, but then he looked up and the words died in his throat.
Because the person standing next to his desk was you.
This version of you looked different. Ben was used to seeing someone in old band t-shirts, worn blue jeans, and flannel shirts, someone who carried themselves confidently and had a hardness surrounding their outer exterior that simply said "don't fuck with me."
But this version of you was softer and a little gentle. Your hair was longer and pushed back from your face by a simple black headband, you were wearing dark framed glasses, an oversized cardigan sweater that covered a simple pair of blue jeans, a striped blouse, and a pair of dark blue converse. The converse made Ben smile. He hadn't seen anyone wearing Chuck Taylors in a little while and it was a welcome sight, something from the past that he actually recognized.
The version of you Ben knew from Dean's universe flashed through Ben's mind again. She was more confident and outgoing, but you looked a little shy, hiding back in the cardigan and using the iPad in your hands as a welcome distraction to looking Ben in the eyes and like a shield.
He thought it was cute.
As much as Ben liked the version of you he knew who didn't shy away from anything, Ben found himself smiling at this one. You were definitely more soft spoken and a little less confident, but Ben could see a sweetness and sincerity in your eyes that he hadn't come across since he came back to the US.
It was the thing that always made him trust the other version of you, the part of him that made him want to tell the other version of you things that he hadn't told other people.
"I'm sorry." You say, even though you have nothing to be sorry about. "I-"
"No. I'm sorry." Ben clears his throat awkwardly and for the first time in a long time he feels nervous. He wasn't sure why that was, not to mention he never apologized to anyone, ever, but he didn't want to scare you away.
"It's okay." You give him a soft smile. "Computers can be frustrating, but sometimes it’s better not to put your fist through the screen."
Ben chuckles. "Probably not my best work."
You shake your head, a wider smile on your face, the motion of it sending the smell of your perfume over him, something floral and a little old fashioned. You look at the remnants of the computer and bite the inside of your cheek deep in thought.
Ben found himself tracing the furrow of your brows and the scrunch of your nose. You were beautiful in every reality to him.
"Well, Mr. Soldier Boy I don't think-"
"Please call me Ben." He interrupts.
Ben wondered if you were this shy all the time and if you'd be just as shy if he took you to bed. He wanted to find out.
Ben had slept with many women in his lifetime and he was usually drawn to women who were more confident and outgoing, sure of themselves, but there was something about your shy attitude that Ben found attractive.
"Ben." You say it in the soft voice of yours, cheeks flushed a little bit as if you're embarrassed to say it. "I don't think that there's anything I can do for this." Your hand waves over the computer. "But I can go talk to my boss and tell him you need another one."
"I'll go with you." Ben stood up.
He didn’t want to let you out of his sight, not when a part of him worried that you weren’t really there or you would evaporate into nothing before his very eyes.
"Oh, it's okay. You don't have to-" You stammer, shaking your head, and not quite looking at him as if making eye contact was a little harder for you.
"I want to." Ben smiles at you. He hears your heart beat quicken and can hear the small intake of breath you have when he smiles. "He's an asshole and I don't want him to chew you out for something I did." Ben explains.
It was partly true. The guy was an asshole. Not to mention, Butcher had said it was your first day and Ben wasn’t going to stand by and have the head of the IT department screaming at you when you had done nothing wrong.
"Oh." You clear your throat, cheeks blushing that cute pink color that makes Ben smile wider. "Well if you'll just follow me."
He hadn’t met someone like you in a long time. And even though he liked the other version of you, Ben was starting to like this one more.
"To the ends of the Earth doll." Ben winks and watches the flush of your cheeks deepen to a crimson and hears the way your heart buckles and jumps when he does.
And the longer he stands there watching you blush, Ben begins to feel an odd feeling flicker in the pit of his stomach racing up into his chest that he’d never felt before and for the first time in a long time Ben was curious to see where it could lead.
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A/N: Alright we made it to the end and everyone got a happy ending! Thank you again everyone for all the love and support while I was writing this mini-series 💗
Reveal of the Poll:
🥫: Meeting the reader from Ben's Universe in a grocery store.
💻: Meeting the reader from Ben's Universe in the IT department.
Personally I liked the IT more, and the problem is now I really like the shy reader with Ben. They are so cute and now I'm hyperfixated on Ben with a shy reader so we'll see where that goes 🤣
Thank you so much for reading! As always likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated, but are not required. I love hearing what y'all think!
Taglist For It's Not A Big Deal:
@roseblue373 @mrsjenniferwinchester @livya99 @zepskies
@winchesterwild78 @ladykitana90 @spnfamily-j2 @whyyouegg
@suckitands33 @pizzagirlxnsfwx @s0uz4s @schinug @just-levyy
@xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @minas-fantasies @ladysparkles78
@mochminnie @peachhiz
@impala67stellawinchester @nancymcl @lunaleah @lightdancingwords @kamisobsessed
@justwhisperingfantasies @lunaleah @kamisobsessed @kmc1989 @djudy99
@chriszgirl92
@toxicfataldestiny @im-bili @anniebannanie0315 @jays-bonnie-on-the-side @schinug
@shara-ne @gaida-511 @xxmusic13luverxx @bakugotypecrashout @n-o-p-e-never
@thoughtfullyfurryangel @youroldfashioned
@marvelgeeka @myceliumsunshine @hobby27
@funkenniffler
#why is it a big deal?#supernatural#spn#dean winchester x reader#dean winchester x you#dean winchester x female reader#soldier boy x female reader#soldier boy x you#soldier boy x reader#soldier boy#dean winchester#jensen ackles#sam winchester#dean x you#dean x reader#supernatural fanfiction#It's Not A Big Deal#lovely mutuals#zepskies reads
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Ginny Weasley should die.
Thank you for the prompt anon! 😊 I hope you like it.
Death's cup
"Ginny Weasley should die."
Harry looked up from his newspaper and thought about his wife upstairs. 50 years old. Not quite in her quidditch years anymore but not old enough to die of natural causes, or so Harry would think. He did not want to let her go.
He looked at death. He seemed familiar. "Ah. Interesting that you tell me this. I thought you wielded your scythe on your own time, sir."
He stood up from the table and Death was yet still taller than him by almost more than a head.
Death moved uneasily. His face was hardly visible under his hood. "I do, but you... are the Master of Death and I will not take your wife away unannounced."
"I don't have the Elder Wand. The Stone is lost to time. The cloak belongs to James."
Death nodded. "You do not lose the title until someone else brings the items together. James is a special one. He hides from Death just as well as his father. There were some close calls under that cloak."
Though the thought of his son dying prickled as much as thinking about Ginny dying did, he only nodded. "He has no clue what it used to be like."
"He grew up safe thanks to the efforts of the generation before him," Death said. "I need to go and start on my day. I will be back in a few moments."
And just like that, Death walked out of his back door and soared straight up into the sky.
Harry had not even moved from his spot when James appeared by the same back door and knocked before entering.
"Morning dad, here's the cloak like you asked." His son put the cloak down on the table. "Mum still asleep?"
He nodded, dumbfounded but didn't reveal that he had never asked for the cloak. "Sleeping in."
"Alright. I'll see you two for dinner, yeah?"
Harry nodded again, trying not to think of the horrible possibility of Ginny not making it to dinner. "Of course," he said around the lump in his throat.
His son walked to the door again but Harry stopped him. James turned around to look at him.
"With or without that cloak, you're not invincible. Don't forget that," Harry said.
James offered him a lop-sided smile. "Is this another lesson from you where you take the cloak away from me to prove something?"
"No. Just a reminder."
"Because I am getting married soon and then I want to give you some of those grandkid-things mum dreams about." James hugged him.
Harry hugged him back. "Don't tell her that or she'll bug you about it until you bring her one."
"Merlin," his son let out with a chuckle. "I know it. I thought Al was going to beat me to it, to be fair." James released him and stepped back.
"He might still," Harry mused out loud.
James nodded in agreement. "Alright, see you tonight, dad!"
Harry waved absent-mindedly, his fingers of his other hand already wrapping around the cloak.
As soon as James had disapparated, he walked upstairs and into the master bed room. Ginny was sleeping soundly.
He tried not to think too hard about losing her but his arms shook as he draped the cloak over her. She did not stir.
"I love you, Gin," he said just in case and then he walked back downstairs.
He had just poured himself another cup of coffee when Death descended the stairs and walked back into the kitchen.
"The oddest thing just happened," Death said with an air of innocence, holding a list. "It says Ginny Weasley, bedroom, but I could not find her."
"That is odd," he agreed, the knot around his heart loosening a little. "Coffee?"
"Oh. Yes, thank you."
Harry poured Death a cup and handed it to him.
The skeletal hand wrapped around the ear of the cup. Both of them leaned against the counter as Death took a sip. A bit of steam escaped from the ear holes in his hood as he drank.
He seemed to leisurely read the list to see what was ahead for the day.
"Sir Barkington?" Harry inquired as he couldn't help but glance at the list.
"Yes," Death said. "Elderly dog. One of my favourites. It's such a joy to see them escape their old body with their achey joints and bad eyesight and see them chase around like a young puppy once more. It gets me every time."
Harry smiled. "That does sound rather nice." He looked at the name still at the top of his list. "Isn't it rather odd that my wife should be listed as 'Ginny Weasley' when she's been a Potter for thirty years?"
The cup of coffee hesitated in front of Death's mouth as his eyes slipped down. "That is odd."
"So?" Harry asked.
Death grumbled. "I wonder if the stupid fragmented souls messed with my list. Can't move on, can't go back. Trying to defy nature and now I have to pass those sorry excuses for a soul every morning on my commute!"
Harry's eyebrows rose. "If one was previously occupying a diary, it would know my wife's name rather well."
"Ah." Death's gaze fell on the list again. "That may very well be it. I'll need to investigate." He set the cup of coffee down on the counter and a quil appeared in his hand. He crossed Ginny's name off the list. "One way or another, consider her off the hook. I'll talk to her in another century or so." He rolled up the list and tucked it in the pocket of his cloak. "I'll see you soon."
Harry swallowed.
"Just kidding!" Death said, opening the door and stepping outside. "That never gets old! But you will. Live a long life, Harry. I will meet you again when it's time." He waved and then soared off once more.
Harry walked up the door and closed it. He returned to his coffee and took another sip.
"Why was the cloak on me?" She held it in her hands. She looked so very alive with tousled long hair and her night dress wrapped around her form.
"If I told you Death was looking for you, would you believe me?"
She snorted a laugh and picked up the cup of coffee from the counter. "No." She took a sip and promptly spat it out. "That tastes like death!"
"Told you he was here," Harry mumbled under his breath. "I'll get you a new one."
She playfully pushed him out of the way with her hip. "I'll make myself one. You clearly can't be trusted around the coffee machine anymore."
He laughed and took hold of her, kissing her eagerly.
"On second thought..." she said as she slipped her hand down his back. "Why don't you come back upstairs with me..."
"The counter is right there..." Harry offered.
She laughed. "I am not twenty anymore."
"No, you're not," he said happily, his hand caressing the curve of her hip. "But you get better every year."
"My joints don't," she said against his lips.
He pulled her up against him. "Oh, alright. And I'll make you a proper cup in a bit."
She dragged him upstairs, Death's cup forgotten.
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from my family line
It's funny how as a young child you cannot wait to grow up. You cannot wait to make your own rules. You can go to bed when you want, eat all the sweets in the world and make your own way. Then suddenly you are an adult, and you can do all those things, and you don't. You do not particularly know when you made that transition from innocent child to haunted adult. Maybe it was when you were thrown out of your house after your father saw you kissing a girl. He did not stop to console you after your best friend pushed you off her calling you a freak. He wasn’t swayed when you were crying at him to comfort you. He just handed you your kit bag and said you were no daughter of his and you left with a black eye.
Looking back, you don’t really understand why this bothered you so much. Growing up, you never had a stable childhood. Your mother (if you could still call her that) killed herself when you were 7. There was no conversation and no hug goodbye, I mean she did not even leave a note. You used to get sad thinking about it but now you just feel anger. Anger that she left in such a cowardly way and anger that she left you alone with your father. Your father was a cruel man whose mood could change quicker than the weather. On the most part he left you alone. He let you do whatever you wanted if you stayed out of his way, but if you mix alcohol into that equation then the situation quickly became unpredictable. You could not count the number of times you had ‘walked into a door’ or ‘fallen down the stairs’. That was one of the benefits of playing a contact sport like football, you always had an excuse ready if one of your teachers doubted you. Football has been the one constant in your life, the one thing that gave you stability and happiness if you are being completely honest. You quickly realised you had talent when you were in primary school. You were quick to sign up to any free clubs at school, either before or after the school day. It was a win-win situation as it kept you out of your house in a safe and clean environment and it did not cost anything. Thinking back now, you owe everything to that after-school football program for the opportunities you have been given in your life. It was the coaches who recognised your talent in football and sent you to a local academy. You loved your time there and, in all honesty, it was the last time you were consistently happy. You had a nutritious breakfast and lunch provided for you every day. There was always hot water for showers and of course the facilities for you to improve your football was great. You had hoped to stay there until you were 21 so you would have the necessary qualifications for a job, but it did not work out that way. Nothing in your life ever worked out the way you wanted it to, and you were naive to believe that.
That about brings you to the present moment as you stand in front of the Arsenal training ground. Your hand clenched around your bag strap as you try and fail to hide your nerves. You wonder how you are good enough for any of this. You wonder what the scout saw in you to have requested you join the team at arsenal. Even going as far as to buy you out at the academy so you had no choice but to go. You know you should be grateful for this opportunity. There are so many players who would jump at the chance to play for a top team in the league. Just as you began to spiral further into a pit of self-doubt, the door to the training grounds opens and you are met with a woman you have come to know as Renee Slegers closely followed by the scout who first took notice of you.
‘Dylan? We are so thrilled to have you join us here at Arsenal. Come in out the cold, you must be freezing’ she says with a friendly smile.
hey everyone, this is my first fic i have written so please let me know what you guys think of it and if you want more or something else requested. :)
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one year later, still yours
sum: sure, I used to be a regular here but I haven't been here in over a year and you still remember my order.
tw: unrequited feelings - both ends. percy's a sarcastic ass.
ive been pumping out fics heheh, also i love using logan lerman as percy bc hes jus so percy n hes so scrumptious and i wanna eat his face and his biceps and every bulging muscle on his ripped body ugh.
it was a slow day in general. you've been working at a local coffee shop near your house for two years now and your favorite regular that you've grown romantic feelings for is gone and been gone. you know that he only came in to buy drinks for his mom, but you also knew that he loved eating blue food dye, and if there was a blue drink he'd make starbucks even more rich. yet, you haven't seen him or his mother. you figure he'd started buying from a local coffee shop that's closer to his house and plus its still a small business that helps.
it sucks though because you had grown feelings for this boy. his name was Percy Jackson. you would always spell it wrong just to tick him off. 'persy jakeson' 'pansy jackson' 'perry the platypus'. a few that you have put over the year he was here. he would come in every saturday at the same time with the same order for him and his mom.
"medium caramel macchiato with extra caramel drizzle, a blue sugar cookie, and a small hot chocolate to go! puh-lease!" is exactly how percy would say it. his mom got the caramel macchiato and he got the blue sugar cookies and hot chocolate. you remembered the order and the cute face though after two months of him ordering at your shift. you made sure that if you guys were open that saturday at 8:35 that you were there for that shift.
you hear someone coming in, even though it was slow you were still working. "hi, welcome in! how are you?" you attempt to sound nice. don't know how well it's working yet. you haven't looked up. you were wiping the counters down. you look at the time.
saturday, 8:35 AM.
you look up immediately. it's him. you smile, "been a while, hm? thought you found somewhere else to get.... a medium caramel macchiato with extra caramel drizzle, blue sugar cookie, and a small hot chocolate all to go?"
he scoffs, "psh, never. you're the only one. my mom just stopped drinking coffee so i didn't have a good enough reason to go to the local coffee shop with the cute barista without telling my mom about the cute barista. 'we have blue sugar cookies and hot chocolate for free at home Perseus' blah blah blah. i have to admit though, the pillsbury dough boy with blue frosting and blue sprinkles is a lot better than your guys' cookies. might run you for your money."
you laugh, "so she tried to keep us apart? what is this, Romeo and Juliet?"
he laughs with you, "i'm surprised you remembered the order."
"you're a regular, of course i remember," you say incredulously, "you want the cookie and small hot chocolate but no macchiato?"
"yeah thats fine.. but [insert reader's name], sure, i used to be a regular here but i haven't been here in over a year and you still remember my order. thinking about me?" he says with a smug smile plastered on his stupid pretty face.
his stupid pretty face with some black hair falling into his long dark eyelashes and his gorgeous sea green eyes and his pretty pink full lips that you just wanna kiss and nibble on 'til there red and peeling.
"so am i right or completely far off?" he questions with a shit eating grin.
"think you have completely lost it, perry the platypus." you sigh, with your own stupid smile on your face.
he rolled his eyes and laughed, "oh we're bringing that name back? okay, okay. just know I'll get my revenge."
"ooh menacing," you say sarcastically as you hand him his hot chocolate and bag of his treat, "i left a little note under the coffee sleeve for you."
"oh i'll be sure to throw it away before i get to read it." he says sassily with a big goofy smile as he walked out.
you smiled and laughed at his shenanigans.
he got outside and got in his car. he immediately moved the sleeve, which he doesn't even know why you still put it if you make it directly for him to drink immediately - not too hot but not cold.
he lifts up the sleeve and sees you did write something. at first all he sees is a smiley face, he then turns the cup and sees what you've written in full. your number.
(123) 456-7890
©️ silentstyx please do not copy, repost, or translate any of my work with out my permission. thank you!
#kate unfiltered . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁#kate writes 𓂃🖊#percy jackson & the olympians#pjo#HoO#heroes of olypmus#percy jackson#perseus jackson#sally jackson#percy jackson & the olympians x reader#pjo x reader#HoO x reader#heroes of olympus x reader#percy jackson x reader#reader x percy jackson#perseus jackson x reader#reader x perseus jackson#sally jackson x reader
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Widows rest
My take on a Black widow! Reader x Batman and Batfam but with a slight twist, reader doesn't know the Bats but they seem to know them...
Warning: contains avengers infinity war spoilers, black widow spoilers, poor writing, possible ooc,
Part 13: dinner and a movie?
🔹🔹🔹
“Hello.” an unknown voice calls out to you from the library doorway, you quickly turn and spot a redhead in a wheelchair holding the door open with one arm.
“Hi there, are you one of the befores?”you watch as she wheels herself into the room, the door falling shut with a quiet thud as the carpet crunches softly beneath the wheels. “The befores?” She tilts her head, glasses slipping down her nose a bit before she nudges them back up.
“The people I apparently knew before the attack.”
She pauses at that, before nodding her head. “Yeah, I'm a before. I'm Barbara Gordon, nice to meet you again. Please call me Barb.” She holds her hand out for a handshake which you give, her hold unsurprisingly firm.
“Like wise, I'd introduce myself but that'd be foolish.” You drop down on the couch behind you after the introduction, lightly wincing for a moment. “Funny, are you in pain?” she puts the brakes on her wheelchair beside the couch and pulls a lemonade out, watching you curiously through her lashes.
You shrug before answering, she likes to stare you note. “Physical therapy is a bitch.” You also fell on your side earlier while trying to hold a plank, but that's for you alone to know.
She snorts at that, “oh, trust me I know exactly how much of a bitch it is.” She mutters under her breath, when you glance at her with furrowed brows she elaborates. “Spinal injury, long story.” You nod your head with a small wince, you've had enough of those types of injuries in your life.
“noted, well Miss Barb can I ask what you're here for? Not to be rude, I just don't remember much yet.” You go straight for the point, she seems relaxed but you don't miss how she watches your every move, head quickly turning towards you when you reach for the book you'd been reading when she came in. She's on edge around you.
“Dick invited me over for the movie.” She says casually before taking a loud sip of her drink, the memory of the overly touchy young man nearly makes you roll your eyes, of course he's here-wait… “what movie?” Barb smiles something devious, looking amused with herself for a moment before replying.
“oops, guess Bruce didn't tell you yet. Just between you and me he wants everyone to have dinner and watch movies with him in the cinema room, you included.”
….. What? You give her an incredulous look at that revelation, her expression and body language showing she's serious. “…alright, is this something the family does often…?”
She nods, still looking amused at spilling the tea before anyone else could. She leans closer to whisper conspiratorially to you. “Mhmm, usually it's Duke or Alfred pushing it but I think your man wants an excuse to spend time with you. Just treat him like a boy with a crush, yeah?” “…okay?”
She pats your shoulder almost patronizingly before taking the brakes off and rolling herself towards the door, calling to you over her shoulder as she goes. “I'll see you in a bit, operater!” The door slams loudly behind her.
🔹🔹🔹
dinners awkward, as soon as you’d walked in barb gave you a knowing grin before turning back to her conversation with cass and an unknown blonde girl. the blonde, upon seeing you, hopped up out of her chair and approached you.
“howdy partner.” they winked and gave you finger guns, looking you up and down with exaggerated scrutiny while starting to circle you.
you watch them with confusion, you’re guessing they’re one of the kids friends…
“…hi, we’ve met i’m assuming….?” “yep! call me stephie!” they nod with a smile and loop their arm through yours and pulling you with her towards the table, sitting you between her and dick, great.
the rest of the dinner was spent between two very chatty young people, by the end you understand captain rogers complaints about slang.
you tried to slip away after dinner, you even had the perfect excuse too. you were tired after physical therapy and wanted to crash early, but then you were cornered by bruce of all people.
“….hey, are you busy?” his voice is soft as he approaches you, he leans against the wall with forced casualness and crosses his arms loosely.
you shift slightly as you glance down the hallway and then look back at him, “i was just heading to bed, why?” barbs words echo in your head as he rubs at the back of his neck, is he still nervous around you?
“me and the kids were dogpiling in the screenroom….you wanna come sit in for a bit?” he smiles at you, though you can tell it’s forced. you glance down the hall again, he could invite his affair partner if he wants someone cuddly. you open your mouth to reject the invite when he speaks up again. “you don’t have to watch a whole film, i just think it’d be good for you to be around loved ones right now. maybe you’ll remember something?….” that’s practically a beg, you’re surprised he’s not on his knees for you right now.
just say no, your attempts at blending in won’t suffer if you’re too tired to play dollhouse. “……a few minutes won’t hurt.” why did you agree. but before you can backtrack he exhales and grabs your wrist to lead you, you’re so fucked…
you’re lead through the large house until you reach some kind of home theater room, barb and the two girls are again talking on one of the couches while tim leans against the stephie girl, damian is sitting in the floor with a large dog curled up trying to pretend it’s a lapdog, and dick is watching jason and duke bicker over something in the center of the room.
when bruce drags you in all eyes turn to you, there’s a moment of silence where you’re just awkwardly staring at each other before bruce clears his throat and pulls you further in the room to one of the couches.
“what’s the verdict, who’s picking this time?” bruce glances around as he speaks, his eyes landing on a scowling duke and a smug jason. “i want to watch the godfather again.” duke cuts in before jason or anyone else can. “dude, that was your pick at halloween. we’re not watching it again.” jason rolls his eyes as he walks over to you. “it’s a great movie!” duke calls out defensively as he follows jason.
“how about we watch something more light tonight?” dick tries to mediate, damian scowls up at him from the floor. “no, i’d rather watch the godfather again than sit through one of your disney movies.” dick looks offended at damian’s scoffing retort.
bruce sighs as the bickering morphs before your eyes, “come on let’s play nice, i thought you all had something picked out already?” “i just wanted to watch lord of the rings.” jason crosses his arms as he speaks, stephie rolls her eyes and speaks up from her spot on one of the couches. “you can’t just watch one of those though, we’re not sitting here for nine hours jay.” “you wanted to watch the barbie movie collection at christmas shut your mouth about long movie runs stephanie.”
you drop your head back against the couch while they bicker, bruce slowly sits down next to you at a respectful distance and drapes a blanket over your lap. it feels like he’s trying to keep you there. barb looks over at you with an amused smirk on her face, pointedly glancing between you two before turning back to her conversation.
“enough fighting guys, just pick something please.” bruce pinches his brow, clearly fed up. no wonder he’s going grey.
“how about we let master wayne decide? they should feel included yes?” a voice speaks up behind you all, alfred walking in the room with a sly look in his eyes. you bet he knows you don’t want to be here, he looks too smug as he sets down a tray of snacks and drinks.
the kids all exchange glances and turn to look at you, bruce shifts beside you and turns his head to speak quietly to you. “you don’t have to answer, i know you don’t know any of these movies so i can just pull rank on the kids.” you turn your head to also speak quietly, “it’s fine, i’ll manage somehow.” you glance at duke. “let’s watch the godfather.” you speak loud enough to be heard over the quiet bickering still happening.
duke throws his hands up in victory, “yes! suck it jay.” he quickly dodges the tossed pillow and goes to fiddle with the projector, looks like you’re resigned to sit here for a few hours.
🔹🔹🔹
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#dc x y/n#dc x reader#batman x reader#batfamily x reader#batman fanfiction#bruce wayne x reader#batfam x reader#bruce wayne x gn!reader#bruce wayne x y/n#black widow reader
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Terrifier is a Masterpiece
I just don't understand how some people say that Terrifier is just gore with no plot. Literally: "Tell me you haven't watched Terrifier without telling me you haven't watched Terrifier."
What's my favorite horror franchise? Terrifier. What's my favorite fantasy franchise? Terrifier. What's my favorite drama franchise? Terrifier. What's my favorite comedy franchise? Terrifier.
The amount of emotions this saga evokes in me is ineffable.
-----------------------------SPOILERS-----------------------------------
1º- I've felt horrified by some of Art's kills, I've screamed and writhed in pain.
2º - I've felt euphoric watching Sienna resurrect in the Clown Café, or when she fought against Vicky and Art. I truly felt the strength of her character in my heart, as if I were fighting side by side with her. She is an angel who can walk through hell without burning her wings.
3º - I've cried and been shattered by many of its scenes—Tara's raw death, the conversation between Art and the Cat Lady, Sienna's mother's death, the scene where Sienna hallucinates with Brooke...
4º - And of course, I couldn't help but laugh at Art and his bizarre sense of humor—you really grow fond of the character.
When I watched it for the first time, I thought it was going to be just another generic slasher, a cheap slaughter, with no soul... I couldn't have been more wrong.
I can honestly say that thanks to Terrifier, I've fallen back in love not only with horror, but also with superhero movies (from my perspective, both were going through a dark time).
I can truly feel all the care, love, and soul that Damien Leone, David Howard Thornton, and Lauren LaVera have poured into this franchise. They are true legends, rising from the smallest beginnings.
With all this, what I want to say is: Terrifier may have some flaws, but if there's one thing it's not lacking, it's heart.
#damien leone#david howard thornton#lauren lavera#terrifier#terrifier 2#terrifier 3#art the clown#sienna shaw#horror movies#slashers#love horror#horror lover#slasher fandom#80s horror#slasher movies#horror film
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Oiiioii vidoca, vim te pedir algo bem foffinho com o Ollie
To meio pra baixo esses dias pq não consegui entrar na faculdade e eu só queria o Ollie aqui me consolando, mas como não temos, eu me contento lendo o que você escreve perfeitamente
Beijocas❤️
Oii, querida!!! Sinto muito por não ter conseguido, espero que essa história conforte seu coraçãozinho❤️
DAWN WITH SNACKS
Ollie Bearman X Academic!fem!reader
Summary: When they are both exhausted from the day and forget to eat dinner, what makes Ollie take his girlfriend for a late-night stroll with snacks.
Words: 2.8K+
Warnings: Mentions of fast food stores, cute couple, childhood best friends to lovers, mentions of songs and romantic.
Author: English is not my first language, so apologies for any spelling, grammar and slang mistakes that may be in the story. And you can request stories on my profile. ❤️🇧🇷
MASTERLIST
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The day had been tiring for both of them. Y/n spent hours at college, dealing with tests, activities and demanding practical training for the Physical Education course. Every muscle in her body seemed to protest with every step she took towards the apartment.
On the other hand, Ollie had an equally exhausting day, spending hours with his fitness trainer, dedicating himself to the maximum to be ready for the return of racing.
When Y/n finally opened the front door, it was already night. The apartment was silent, lit only by the soft light of the television. Ollie was already on the couch, showered, wearing a comfortable sweatshirt. As soon as he saw her, he gave a tired smile.
"Finally home." He commented, extending his hand to her.
Yin dropped her backpack near the door and walked over to him, throwing herself onto the couch and laying on her boyfriend's lap, letting out a long sigh. Ollie chuckled softly, running his hand through her hair, giving it a light caress.
"Tough day?" He asked, his voice calm.
"You have no idea." Y/n murmured, closing her eyes as she enjoyed the affection. "Biomechanics test first thing in the morning, then a group project that almost made me pull my hair out, and to top it off, practical weightlifting training. I swear my arms will never work again."
Ollie let out a low chuckle, his fingers sliding gently across her scalp.
"So at least now you understand how I feel after resistance training." He joked.
"I don't know... I think I'd still rather run than lift weights for hours." Y/n grumbled, snuggling deeper into his lap. "What about you? How was your day?"
"Basically being tortured by my fitness coach," Ollie said, feigning drama. "Sprints, weight training, reaction drills... and all this with him saying, 'You'll thank me for this at the next race.'"
Y/n opened one eye, looking at him with a lazy smile. "And you will?"
"Maybe." Ollie laughed. "But right now I just want to be like this with you."
They stayed there for a while, talking and enjoying each other's company. Ollie's caress of her hair almost made her fall asleep right there. But eventually, Y/n forced herself to get up.
"I'm going to take a shower before I fall asleep here." She said, stretching.
"Good idea." Ollie agreed, though his expression made it clear he didn't want her to leave his side.
Y/n chuckled softly and headed to her room, grabbing a comfortable pair of sweatpants before heading to the shower. The hot water helped relax her tired muscles, and when she returned to the living room, with her hair down and dressed in her sweatsuit, she found Ollie still on the couch, now holding the TV remote.
"Come here." He called, making room beside him and pulling back the blanket.
Y/n smiled and settled next to her boyfriend, laying her head on his chest and hugging his waist. He wrapped one arm around her, while his other hand browsed through the movies on the screen.
"How about The Princess Diaries?" He suggested, already knowing the answer.
"Again?" Y/n looked up at him with an arched eyebrow, but a smile played on her lips.
"It's your favorite." Ollie shrugged. "And I like seeing you happy."
She laughed, squeezing him into a hug. "You're such a cute boyfriend, Bearman."
"I know." He replied, smugly, which made Y/n roll her eyes.
The film began, and at first, they watched it attentively, commenting on the scenes they already knew by heart. But as time passed, the story on the screen took a back seat and the conversation between them took over.
"So, what are we going to do the weekend before the race?" Y/n asked, playing with the hem of his hoodie.
"We could go out to dinner somewhere special," Ollie suggested. "Or maybe we could make it a day just for us, no commitments, no schedules... just relaxing."
"I like that idea." She murmured. "Maybe a picnic? I'll bring the snacks, you bring your date."
"Deal." He smiled. "But only if you promise not to complain when I steal your dessert."
"No way!" Y/n laughed. "If you touch my chocolate, I revoke your right to pet me."
Ollie feigned a shocked look. "That would be cruel."
"Exactly." She said, smiling mischievously.
He chuckled, pulling her closer and kissing the top of her head. "Okay, no stealing your chocolate. But only because I like you so much."
"Great choice." Y/n replied, snuggling closer to him.
Hours had passed, and they were still on the couch, snuggled up against each other, talking about everything and nothing at the same time. The movie had already ended minutes ago, but neither of them bothered to turn off the TV.
"Did you know that otters hold hands while they sleep so they don't get lost in the water?" Ollie suddenly said, his voice calm as his fingers gently slid through Y/n's hair.
Y/n lifted her head to look at him with a smile. "Really? That's so cute."
"Yes," he confirmed. "And if an otter loses its mate, it grieves much like humans do."
She frowned, feigning a hurt look. "Why do you tell me such sad things before bed?"
Ollie laughed. "You're the one who started asking random trivia questions!"
She rolled her eyes, but smiled and snuggled back into him. A comfortable silence filled the room until Y/n murmured,
"I am hungry."
Ollie sighed, seeming to realize that he was too. "Now that you mention it... me too."
Y/n stood up slowly, grabbing her cell phone from the coffee table in the living room. "We can order something, like pizza or a burger."
Ollie raised an eyebrow, looking at the clock on the wall. "At this time? I think our favorite restaurants are already closed."
Y/n frowned and looked at her phone screen. "Oh, shit, it's late anyway..." She sighed and threw her phone on the couch. "But I don't have the energy to cook either."
Ollie thought for a second before shrugging. "We can go out and try to find an open drive-thru."
Y/n laughed at the suggestion. "Do you have any idea what you're talking about? Two athletes, one of whom is a health student, going out in the middle of the night to buy fast food? It seems wrong."
Ollie rolled his eyes playfully. "Okay, if you want I can drop you off at home and eat alone."
"No way." She replied, laughing.
He then held out his hand to her. "Then come on, let's go before I change my mind."
Y/n smiled and put on her slippers, heading to the door. "I'll wear sweatpants."
Ollie laughed. "I'll just put a sweatshirt over my pajamas."
Y/n laughed as he disappeared down the hallway, heading to his room. When he came back, he was wearing a dark green hoodie and plaid sweatpants, clearly something he would wear to bed.
She looked at him and let out a low laugh. “You really didn’t put any effort into looking presentable.”
Ollie held up the car keys with a smile. "And do you mind?"
"Not at all." She replied, still laughing.
With that, they left the apartment, ready for their little nighttime adventure in search of food.
Ollie held Y/n's hand as they walked through the building's parking lot, their steps slow and carefree. The night air was cool, and the city around them seemed to be asleep, the silence broken only by the distant sound of a few cars in the distance.
"Okay, we need to decide what we're going to eat before we go driving around aimlessly." Ollie said, shaking her hand lightly.
"Hmm... burger and fries sound like a great idea." Y/n suggested.
"I agree. But what if we find a place that has milkshakes too?" He arched an eyebrow.
"Perfect!" She smiled. "But only if you don't let me mix strawberry milkshake with chicken nuggets again. Bad experience."
Ollie laughed. "I warned you, but you wouldn't listen. Now you've learned your lesson."
She rolled her eyes, laughing, as he unlocked the car with the button on the key fob. They each got in on their own side, and Ollie started the engine, pulling out of the parking lot with no clear destination in mind, hoping to find an open drive-thru.
The city streets were quiet at that time. The streetlights illuminated the dark asphalt, and few people walked along the sidewalks. There was almost no movement, which made the walk even more pleasant. The silence of the early morning brought a sense of calm, contrasting with the hustle and bustle of the day they had.
Y/n was talking about something when suddenly the car radio started playing Wannabe by the Spice Girls.
Her eyes widened and without hesitation, she turned up the volume.
"Oh, not that song!!" Ollie exclaimed, laughing.
"That song YES!" Y/n replied excitedly.
He shook his head, still laughing. "I can't believe this song haunts me. You've embarrassed me enough with it."
"It wasn't embarrassment, it was free entertainment!" Y/n replied, laughing. "Have you already forgotten when I played that song on the speaker in the garage?"
Ollie let out a loud laugh, remembering the scene. "How could I forget? I was trying to concentrate and all of a sudden I hear 'IF YOU WANNA BE MY LOVER' blasting through the speakers!"
Y/n laughed.
"I was trying to get you excited for the race!"
Then, she started singing the song loudly, acting it out exaggeratedly while looking at him and making dramatic gestures.
"I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want" Y/n sings loudly. "Now it's your turn, sing, love!"
Ollie laughed and shook his head. "No way. This moment is all yours."
"Coward." She joked, but continued singing enthusiastically until the song ended. When another song came on the radio, Y/n turned the volume down and turned to him with a mischievous smile.
"I want this song at our wedding. Instead of the bride and groom's waltz, we'll dance Wannabe at the reception."
Ollie laughed out loud, nearly missing the turn. "Do you really want our wedding to be remembered like this?"
"Obviously! It's going to be iconic!"
He looked at her with a smile and shook his head. "Okay, but only if I can wear a plaid suit to go with this madness."
Y/n laughed, throwing her head back. "Deal!"
The love between the two was evident in every look, in every joke and even in the silliest moments. Since childhood, they had loved each other purely and truly, and they would continue to do so until the end of time.
After driving aimlessly for a few minutes, Ollie finally spotted an open McDonald's. He immediately turned the car into the drive-thru and smiled in satisfaction.
"I should get a prize for finding food at this hour," he joked as he stopped in line.
"Congratulations, Bearman, your trophy will be... a snack and chips." Y/n laughed, clapping exaggeratedly.
When it was their turn to order, Y/n stared at the illuminated menu for a few seconds, undecided.
"Hmm... I think I'll have a Big Mac... or a McChicken... no, wait, maybe nuggets..."
Ollie lightly banged his head on the steering wheel, laughing. "For God's sake, Y/n, are you choosing your last meal of your life?"
"This takes some thought, okay?" She countered, still studying the menu.
"Reflection?! It's McDonald's, not a five-star restaurant!"
"Do you want nuggets? Because I can change to nuggets." Y/n asked, completely ignoring his impatient tone.
"I want you to decide before morning!" Ollie joked, rolling his eyes.
She laughed and finally made the request. Ollie ordered his soon after, and within minutes they had bags of food in hand. He drove into the parking lot and parked in a quiet corner, while soft music played from the playlist they had created together.
Y/n opened the bag of fries and, without hesitation, began stealing from Ollie's tray.
"Hey!" The pilot glared at her, feigning indignation. "That's theft of private property!"
She shrugged, popping another potato into her mouth. "You should know that sharing food with me is a lifetime contract."
Ollie grabbed a potato from her tray in response. "So that's how it is? Taking justice into your own hands?"
"Exactly."
Ollie laughed and took some more of her potatoes, teasing her.
"That's not exactly an athlete's diet." Y/n commented, looking at the snack in his hands.
"We burn it all tomorrow in training, so technically this is... strategic refueling."
She laughed and they continued eating, while the conversation flowed naturally.
"Have you ever stopped to think that maybe penguins see humans as strange beings who can't swim well?" Y/n said suddenly.
Ollie stared at her for a moment and then laughed. "Is that what goes through your head while eating a burger?"
"Yes. And another thing, how do fish drink water?"
He arched an eyebrow. "Y/n, for God's sake..."
"No, seriously! They're already in the water, but do they need to drink?"
Ollie thought for a moment and shrugged. "I don't know... maybe they do? Or maybe they absorb it through the skin?"
"That makes sense... wait, do you have dehydrated fish?"
He laughed. "If they do, I hope they find a water McDonald's to solve the problem."
They continued talking about random theories, mixed with childhood memories and inside jokes. Time passed without them noticing, and soon the snacks were gone.
Now, with the empty packages, they sat there in the car, enjoying the calm of the night. The comfortable silence between them was filled only by the soft music from the playlist, as they exchanged knowing looks and discreet smiles.
They didn't need big moments to feel happy together. Just each other's company was enough.
When the next song started playing, Ollie recognized the first few chords immediately. Talking To The Moon, by Bruno Mars. A smile appeared on his face, and he raised the volume a little, turning to Y/n.
"You know... that song made me realize that I was in love with you years ago." He said, his voice soft, full of affection. "Every time I heard it, I remembered you..."
Y/n blinked a few times in surprise before smiling. "Why that song?"
Ollie sighed lightly, as if he was reliving that moment.
"Because whenever I was away, traveling to races, you found a way to text me, to ask how I was doing, even with the time difference and your crazy schedule. You always made sure to be there, to support me, even when the whole world seemed too busy to care."
Y/n blushed slightly, lowering her head and playing with the hem of her sweatshirt.
"I'm so lucky to have you in my life." Ollie continued, his eyes fixed on her. "And dating my childhood best friend? That's the best gift I could ever ask for."
Y/n looked up at him, her eyes shining with tenderness. Without saying anything, she smiled and leaned in slightly, her lips meeting his in a sweet, lingering kiss. Ollie brought a hand to her face, deepening the kiss with affection, feeling the comfortable warmth of that moment.
When they pulled away, he smiled and placed a kiss on her cheek, while Y/n leaned back against the car seat again, letting out a yawn.
"See? You're too old to be out this late." Ollie laughed.
"Hey, I'm only 20!" She retorted, rolling her eyes but laughing.
On the way back, the atmosphere in the car was calm, a comfortable silence filled with low music and the good tiredness after a fun night.
Y/n put her feet up on the dashboard and sighed. "That was one of the simplest, but also one of the most wonderful moments we've ever had together."
Ollie smiled, agreeing. "Sometimes impromptu nights are the best."
As soon as they entered the apartment, Y/n let out another yawn and practically threw herself on the couch.
"I could sleep easy here right now," she murmured, burying her face in the pillow.
Ollie locked the door and laughed, approaching her. Without warning, he lay on top of her back, making Y/n let out a little cry of protest.
"OLIVER! Get off me!" She laughed, trying to push him away.
"No, it's comfortable here." He teased, but soon rolled to the side, pulling her into a hug.
Y/n snuggled against his chest, feeling the warmth of Ollie's body.
"You know what? I could sleep here easily too," he said, his voice already a little sleepy.
"So that's what we're going to do." Y/n muttered, closing her eyes for a moment.
Ollie got up quickly, turned off the lights in the apartment and went back to the couch, arranging the blankets for the two of them. As soon as they lay down again, he hugged her from behind, fitting his face in the crook of her neck.
"Good night, my walking insomnia." He whispered, smiling.
Y/n chuckled softly. "Good evening, my favorite pilot."
Little by little, the silence of the night enveloped them both, until they finally fell asleep, cuddled together on the couch, as if that moment were the most natural thing in the world. And maybe it was. After all, they didn't need anything other than each other to feel at home.
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#fanfiction#y/n#romance#imagines#lovers#one shot#formula 1#formula one#fem reader#ollie bearman x female reader#ollie bearman x y/n#ollie bearman x reader#ollie bearman#imagines ollie bearman
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🐶🦷
"I should leave you there all night like that; you look so goddamn good..."
Vidal laughed, tossing her hair back over her shoulder as she gripped Agnes' chin. She was standing above the detective, looking down at her. Agnes was on all fours on the floor in the bedroom; the leash attached to the loop on her collar, the other end looped around the bed post. Vidal made sure she kept it a short leash.
Agnes looked up at Vidal, the only thing she could do. She could feel the short carpet not doing any good for her knees; the palms of her hands as flat as they could be on the ground. She was in perfect table top position with her head pointed upwards. She could feel the tips of Vidal's nails digging into her jaw, the side of her neck.
"Are you gonna be a good girl for me? I hope so...I can see that collar digging into your neck...is it getting too tight?"
Vidal whispered down to Agnes; her fingers gripping tighter until she could feel Agnes' teeth through her cheeks. She knew if she let go Agnes would be a moaning mess right now. She didn't want that, not yet. Her gaze drifted past Agnes' face; catching sight of the detective's hips moving slightly side to side. Vidal smiled with her teeth and looked back down into Agnes' face.
"Why are you so impatient? Don't you want me to savor this? Don't you want Mommy to have a good time?"
Agnes closed her eyes shut, trying to fight off the sensation coursing through her. The burning in her knees, her wrists. The heat and wetness between her legs. Vidal's nails still digging into her face, her neck. And the heavy reminder of the collar and chain leash she was attached to. Her head was swimming; overstimulation was never an issue for her but now...
"Awww, don't be sad my pretty, handsome boy..."
Vidal roughly let go of Agnes' face, nails dragging across her skin. Agnes let out a loud breath as she let her head rest down, hanging there as she burned holes into the floor with her gaze.
She had to bite her tongue, keep herself in check. This was about obedience, Vidal said, this was about stopping those wandering hands. Agnes had to stay put and she'd get her reward. She had to be good, had to be mindful of the collar and leash at her neck. Being a bad boy meant you didn't get a reward at the end; a treat.
"...you've been so good, being so patient. How about you help me out now..."
Vidal walked all of three steps to the bed post, unwrapping the leash. She held it taught in her grasp, the same hand that was just clutching Agnes' face. She gave one, two tugs and watched the end of the leash tug at the collar. She could see the skin reddening underneath on Agnes' neck; hopefully a bruise will bloom there.
She yanked on the leash until Agnes had to move her neck, her head. She shifted slightly so that she was once again facing Vidal; her gaze traveling back up to the agent.
"Open your mouth and keep it open..."
Vidal spoke. Agnes did as she was told. She opened up her mouth, letting her jaw get heavy.
"I still can't believe you bit me and drew blood...maybe I should have gotten you that muzzle..."
And Agnes slipped up, fucked up then and there. She let out a slight, desperate moan. Her eyes widened in horror at the realization of what had just come out of her own mouth and she watched Vidal do the same.
"And there you go again...you really can't help yourself, huh?"
And she tugged the leash hard enough to almost make Agnes topple forward; catching herself on her forearms. Vidal smirked, licking her lips at the sight below her.
"Do you wanna be Mommy's pretty boy? Maybe this'll keep your mouth occupied; keep that biting in check because you wouldn't dare..."
And Agnes watched as Vidal used her free hand to insert two fingers up inside of her already wet and waiting cunt. She fucked herself with her fingers; holding Agnes' gaze with her own until she could see the quiver of Agnes' jaw. She pulled her fingers out of herself, coated with a slick sheen. The leash held tight in her hand, she yanked Agnes close enough until her mouth was parallel to her hand, her fingers. She put her two fingers into Agnes mouth,
"Close it, Baby."
And Agnes did.
"Suck on them now, Baby."
And Agnes did.
"Open your mouth and let go."
But Agnes didn't open her mouth. Her eyes dug into Vidal's, those blues turning dark with something Vidal had seen many times before.
"Open your mouth and let go. Now."
Vidal stared at Agnes' mouth and watched, stared. Not a muscle was moved, not even an inkling of letting go. Vidal basically hissed against her teeth as she pulled her hand, her fingers out of Agnes' mouth. A trail of saliva strung between them until it broke; the rest of it on Agnes' chin.
Agnes was the one smiling now as she looked up at the agent; the power shifting silently between them even though Agnes was the one on the collar end of the leash. She watched Vidal flinch slightly at the realization, the leading end of the leash slightly loosening for the first time in her hand.
you dangle on the leash of your own longing; your need grows teeth
#Marvel#Agatha All Along#Butch!Agatha#Agnes O'Connor#Detective Agnes O'Connor#Agnes of Westview#Agent Vidal#Rio Vidal#Writing#Writing prompts#HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#Anyway! Enjoy!
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The Night We Met Pt.1
First FanFic if there's anything that should fix or work on please tell me I need the criticism
Damian Wayne x Fem reader
This is based off of my DCU DR... if you don't believe in shifting keep it to yourself cause I could careless I wrote this for fun. Reader is based off of me cause I love me. Reader, Damian and most of the people they interact with are in the 10th grade unless said other wise.
CW: slow burn like REALLY slow, swearing, reader has ADHD because I have ADHD, Split POV?
"Today is going to be a great day."
You stare at your reflection in your dorm bathroom mirror, leaning onto the sink to inspect your face. No glaringly red pimples—well, except for that one. Without hesitation, you pop it.
"I know I shouldn't, but I can't help it," you complain to yourself, grabbing a pimple patch and slapping it on.
With an approving nod to yourself, you back away, rush out of the bathroom, and immediately trip over a pile of clothes. You barely catch yourself before face-planting.
"Shit ok, note to self put these away before they actually kill me."
You shake it off, grab your backpack and cheer bag, and speed out of your dorm, locking the door behind you. As you make your way to the school building, you slip one AirPod into your ear and adjust your bags.
"Good morning!" you chirp, greeting every person you pass.
"You're late," a voice says the moment you reach the school stairs.
You scoff. "Nope, I’m right on time, actually."
Alex, one of your best friends since you transferred in the middle of ninth grade, rolls her eyes. The rest of your crew—Mia, Terra (yes, that Terra, the one who’s supposed to be dead), and Brinley—are already there, chatting about their schedules. After a few minutes of catching up, you all head inside to drop off your stuff before class starts. The last thing you need is to be late—especially since detention means suspension from the cheer squad.
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Damian Wayne hated school.
It was inefficient, mind-numbingly dull, and filled with people he had zero interest in interacting with... well that's what he told his father. But here he was black backpack strapped tightly on, security lock in place (only he and Alfred knew the combination), wearing the standard Gotham Public uniform in blue, white, and black. In his hands, a single sheet of paper listed his dorm and locker number, along with his class schedule on the back.
After several frustrating minutes, he finally located his locker. Right next to the bathroom.
"This is disgustingly unacceptable."
He scowled, reluctantly opening it and arranging his belongings inside. He grabbed his massive binder capable of holding twelve six-subject notebooks along with his sketchbook and pencil case.
BANG!
A locker slammed shut next to him, the noise so sudden and aggressive that Damian whipped around, fully prepared to fight.
Instead, he found himself face-to-face with you.
"Are you new here?" you asked casually, balancing an absurd number of things—an oversized laptop that clearly wasn’t for schoolwork, a bag stuffed with library books, and a tiny, overstuffed backpack that was one bad tug away from falling apart.
But the thing that really made him frown?
That obnoxiously colorful pencil case sitting on top of your stack.
He scowled on instinct. You were chaotic. Loud. Distracting. He already disliked you.
"We have the same classes!" You say looking at his schedule over his shoulder "Cool. I'll show you around come on," already walking off without waiting for a response.
Damian blinked. Is she just assuming I'm going to follow her?
A part of him wanted to ignore you. Another part, the one that always sought information and efficiency, decided it was the most logical course of action. With an irritated sigh, he shut his locker and followed.
You lead him through the hallways, weaving through students while Damian silently trails behind.
“This is the cafeteria. The food is actually pretty good for a public school, but oh my goodness, whatever you do DO NOT try the mystery meat unless you wanna meet God early.”
Damian barely listens. He’s too distracted by the fact that ‘mystery meat’ even exists in a place meant for education and the absurd number of people who stop to talk to you.
Everywhere you go, someone waves says hi, or stops to chat. People throw out gossip, random compliments, and even inside jokes.
You know everyone.
It’s exhausting just watching you socialize.
Damian, used to go unnoticed unless he wanted to be seen, and he found it deeply irritating. He didn't like unnecessary attention. He didn't like small talk. And he definitely didn't like how effortlessly you commanded every room you walked into.
As you continue to weave through the crowded room, students keep stopping you some to say hi, some to ask questions, and a few just to gossip for the hell of it. Damian watches, mildly horrified, as you effortlessly jump from conversation to conversation.
"Anywho," you continue, not missing a beat, "the library is on the third floor, but I swear its haunted, so if you hear whispering, just keep it moving."
Damian raises an eyebrow and scoffs. "There is no such thing as ghosts."
You stop and turn to look at him with the most offended look you could possibly muster. "Says the guy who has classes with me, meaning he takes Advanced Mythology AND Paranormal Studies. Boom."
He opens his mouth to argue but then immediately shuts it.
"Touche," he says after clicking his tongue in annoyance.
You grin before turning on your heels to continue the rapid tour. Makeing sure that the tour ends right outside of your first-hour class.
By the time the first bell rings, Damian has already learned several things: You are absurdly social, you have way too much energy for one person, you talk with your hands, aggressively. (He nearly got smacked twice already, you are completely, utterly, and unapologetically YOU.
And for reasons he can’t quite explain yet,
But, it doesn't annoy him as much as he thought it would.
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it took me 2 days to write this mainly because I was crocheting and working on my script buuuuut I'll try to make the next parts in about the same time span unless I get grounded 😶
#Spotify#damian wayne x reader#fanfic#damian al ghul#damian wayne#batman#reality shifting#shifting#first fic#dc shifting#dc fanfic#batfam x reader
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"DO IT"
Soooo I wrote a new fic with Sergei 🖤🥵😭☝🧎♀️
I hope you like it!
Sergei had been watching you for a while now, without you noticing his presence.
That morning, while he was training in the forest where his small house was, he smelled you. A scent he had never detected in that place before, so of course he had to go check what was going on.
The last time he had caught a scent different from the usual ones, he had come across several poachers, who had killed several rhinos to remove their horns and sell them to the highest bidder. Obviously he had to kill them, thus getting rid of the problem.
He was perched on one of the huge trees in the forest, his magnified gaze never leaving you, who were a few meters away.
He watched as you looked at the plants, the ground, the small animals like ants and flies, and he realized that you were not there to cause any harm, so he should leave, since he had nothing to fix there.
Instead he found himself looking at you curiously. It was then that he saw you quickly moving away from where you were. He turned his head to see what the threat was, colliding with the huge figure of a bear.
Without wasting time, the hunter slid skillfully between the branches of the trees, to let himself fall in the middle of the animal's path. You ran for several minutes, until you heard a dull thud behind you.
You turned around thinking that perhaps the predator had accidentally crashed into one of the trees. Instead, you found him.
A dark-skinned man with broad shoulders stood in front of the bear.
You opened your eyes wide, thinking that he was crazy, that if he didn't move away he was going to kill him, but the animal didn't do any of that, on the contrary, it stared at you as if it wasn't watching a human, but an animal of its own species.
-Go away –he ordered, his hoarse and authoritative voice sending shivers through your body- she is not food –he indicated, gesturing with his head towards where you were- I am sure you can find your dinner elsewhere
The bear let out a growl that almost sounded like an assent.
To your amazement, you saw how the animal turned around to walk away as quickly as it had appeared. Only when it was several meters away, the man turned to you.
His blue eyes stared into yours with such intensity that you felt your legs turn to butter. He watched you for a moment, before sketching a kind smile.
-Are you okay? –he asked, you nodded shyly-
-I'm still scared, but at least I have all my body parts left –you laughed nervously- What are you doing here? –you asked, holding his gaze-
-I live here –he answered-
-In the middle of the forest? -You pressed, he shook his head negatively-
-I have a house, on that hill -he pointed to a spot behind your head- this forest is my home -he explained while asking- What are you doing here? –he said- this isn't a safe place for you to walk around alone
-I know- you sighed tiredly- I came to explore the fauna of this area- you explained- they told me that there was a huge variety of wild animals here, so here I am- you said- that's what I do
-You're a zoologist- he murmured, you nodded-
-One who should go back to the city to look for a place where she can sleep for a modest price- you looked up at the sky- in a few hours it will get dark, and as much as I love animals I don't want to be devoured by any
-I won't let you walk around the forest in the dark by yourself- he answered firmly- come with me
You froze in place, before pulling your hair into a ponytail. A gesture that Sergei found fucking adorable.
He forced himself to remain serious as you looked at him, weighing your options, which were quite few.
-Okay - you said, nodding in his direction
He watched you for a moment, before nodding for you to follow. You tried not to notice how the muscles in his back contracted and relaxed with each step he took, failing miserably.
When you reached the hill, you were barely able to breathe, and he looked like he had just gone out for a simple walk. He opened the door and let you in first. You were greeted by a mixture of smells: leather, wood and wet earth.
You looked with fascination at the glass windows and the large sofa he had placed in front of them.
-Make yourself comfortable - he offered, looking at you delicately - I'll light the fireplace.
-Thank you - you murmured, sitting on the sofa
The man threw a couple of logs into the fireplace and after knocking two stones together, the fire began to burn them.
He sat on the couch at a safe distance, while he focused on the flames, how the tongues of fire were slowly devouring the wood.
You stared at him for a moment, his blue eyes shining in the dim light of the fire.
He noticed you looking at him and tilted his head towards you, who quickly placed it on the fireplace.
He gave you a half-smile, before breaking the silence that surrounded you.
-So your job is to put yourself in mortal danger in front of a wild animal to study it and say that all the effort and risks taken have been in favor of science?
-That's one way of looking at it – you said, laughing lightly, you fixed your gaze on him –And what do you do?
-I hunt –he answered very seriously-
-And what do you hunt? –you asked curiously-
-People –he murmured before adding- bad people –he pointed out- when I saw you before I thought you were coming to kill me –he smiled- in the end it turns out that you are not a murderer
-Why would someone want to kill you? –you questioned, he stared at you-
-The ecosystem works like this –he began to explain- the smaller animals try to rebel against the strongest predator, the one that is higher on the food chain –he whispered- sometimes you have to remind the sheep that they cannot kill the lion
You pressed your lips tightly together and shifted restlessly on the couch. Sergei watched as your pulse pounded hard in your neck, and the way your pupils had dilated.
-And what happens…? –you asked trying to speak clearly- What happens if the sheep join forces with the rest of the small animals? An alliance like that could defeat the lion
“The lion is the king of the jungle,” he said. “If the little ones don’t know how to behave and recognize his authority, he has to stop them and remind them who’s in charge,” he said, a shiver running down your spine.
“I suppose you’re the lion in this story,” you said, he nodded slowly.
“Yes,” he said, looking at you intently. He approached you quickly, with the agility of a panther and the stealth of a fox. “And you’re the sheep I’m going to eat.”
He raised his hand to your cheek, his rough, masculine fingers running down your cheek, before tracing the curve of your lower lip.
“Tell me your name, dorogoy.” His voice was hoarser when he spoke in Russian, which didn’t help your condition in the slightest. He knew how much he had affected you, as the skin on your arms had gotten goosebumps when he said it.
It took you a moment to remember your name. His closeness, the heat radiating from his body, his hoarse voice and his damn bright eyes were to blame for your sudden amnesia.
-Cristel – you whispered as you felt his hands go down to the waistband of your green camouflage pants-
-Cristel – he tasted in his mouth – it's a dragotsennyy, dorogoy (beautiful, darling) name
-What's yours? –you asked, biting your lower lip as he slid his hands around the waistband of your pants, slowly pulling them down, creating a pile on the floor-
-If I told you, I'd have to kill you –he said in a baka voice- and I'm having too much fun with you to do that, prekrasnyy (beautiful) –he whispered, holding your chin between his thumb and index finger so you'd look at him- I'll tell you –he agreed- but first you have to promise me that you won't tell anyone-
-I promise –you answered, totally consumed by the sensations that were going through you at that moment-
-Good girl –he growled, getting closer to your ear- Sergei –he whispered- that's my name
-Sergei! –you squealed when you felt his fingers slip under the waistband of your panties-
-You're already so wet for me, dorogoy –he growled, sliding a couple of fingers inside you with ease- God, your smell –he murmured- is driving me crazy
-Sergei… -you moaned when he began to push his fingers in and out repeatedly- please…
-Please what? –he demanded to know-
-You… -you gasped- I need you… I… please… -you begged again-
He brought your lips together, his mouth covering yours fiercely, as if he were thirsty and your lips were the jug from which he should drink.
He caught you between his strong arms, imprisoning you against the sofa, careful not to crush you with his weight.
You brought your hands to his hair, pulling at the wavy locks, eliciting several grunts from him.
Within seconds he was inside you.
No one had ever stretched you like he had, and that simple fact made you even more excited
-You're so tight, dorogoy –he murmured, pushing his hips against you, making you dig your nails into his shoulders- I can feel you tightening around me –he growled- fuck, you're taking me so well
-I'm going to cum –you warned, feeling the familiar pressure in your lower abdomen- please… -you threw your head back, but he held your neck firmly, without squeezing, just so you knew he was there
The feel of his fingers around your windpipe made you lose your mind
-I know, prekrasnyy (beautiful) do it –he ordered- cum for me
You both did it at the same time.
Then he pulled you towards him, making you rest your head on his chest.
He kneaded your hair until you fell asleep without realizing it. He smiled and placed a kiss on the top of your head, thinking that he couldn't have thought of a better way to end the day than with you.
#aaron taylor johnson#kraven the hunter#sergei kravinoff x fem!reader#sergei kravinoff#writters on tumblr#writterscommunity#my story#byvoice
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Bae Bae
Felix Volturi x fem reader
Summary: A gift to him Warnings: A slight mention of death but its not deep, my inner thoughts come through😁 A/N: I know I haven't posted a ton lately, ill do a separate post about that but the way I had a sudden inspiration for this one was like being on cloud 9. I wasen't sure if I wanted to post this today but i thought hey I need to keep you darlings feed🫶🏼. The song inspiration for this one was "Bae Bae" by Big Bang.....Enjoy💙(Demetri will be next) Word Count:1924
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Everything seemed dark, I would look at the stars at night and wonder why they did not shine for me? Everyone always talked about how bright the stars are, how they alone are a source of light in the dark sky. And the worst part was people would compare the stars to their loved ones. Love, a word I avoid in my life. As I live my life day by day, I would see endless people in love, with their significant other, their special person, their other half. You can say I did envy that, yet I was reminded that I don't have anyone.
Did I crave that feeling for affection and love? To love someone and to get the feeling in return? To learn to depend on someone and to not be so independent? Of course I did, I would have to be heartless not to have that craving. Still I have my days where I don't want to be with people, I don't want to be out in the world. I want to be contemplating my existence in life, what is it that I need to do to get out of this weird haze?
So what do I do? I sit by a cute little cafe. I find myself going more often than I would like to admit, sketching on my notepad drawing anything that my little mind comes up with. Words sometimes do not work for me but drawing is like a nice cup of coffee, currently what im drinking as I sketch. There are not even perfect sketches, it looks like a child drew them but I like to think it's abstract art. It has no deep meaning, its only significance is my mind.
More recently my drawings have been more specific, I seem to define my lines more, it has more specific outcomes. I have been focusing more on what I want to draw, and I can proudly say I know what it is. I find myself delicately drawing my scenery, I might draw what my table contains, a cup of coffee, books, sometimes a pastry that feeds my sweet tooth. I have even grown bold to draw people, ones that might be sitting outside of the cafe or ones that just stand around.
But I don't draw faces, no I have not had the patience for that quiet yet. The young lady who works at the cafe sometimes comes by the table I have claimed, to ask me what I am drawing.
“My mind”
She looks at me with a confused look but gives me a small smile as she walks away to help another customer. She asks me that question every time I come by, and everytime I give her the same response. How has she not gotten tired of asking that? I sometimes grow tired at work repeating the same old lines of ‘would you like a receipt’ or my favorite one where I have to force a smile when deep down i'm so tired and down in the dumps and say “have a great day”. It sounds hypocritical to me because I'm telling someone else to have a good day when I can't seem to have one myself.
I get a lot of customers who have a certain someone in their life, which seems fitting since I do work at a flower shop. They rush in trying to find the ‘perfect’ flowers to give them, they usually go for the roses but there are ones who want to ‘spice’ it up.
Back to my current state I was sketching a strangely gorgeous man. I always see him when I come to this cafe and always in the same spot. I think he has been my sudden inspiration to want to draw more specific things. He sits by the shade, leaning back on his chair that seems a bit small for the big man he is but he gently reads a book. He seems like a fan of Edgar Allan Poe because he is currently reading a book with just his short stories. I have that book, my version is filled with annotations and sticky notes filled with reactions on certain parts I catch myself re-reading.
This man has such a stoic and blank face that makes me wonder how he can keep a straight face while reading Poe’s stories. Maybe he has read it more times than I have because I still find myself doing faces in certain parts.
I focus more of my energy on his posture, he has one leg crossed over his knee and his left elbow rests on the table since he is sitting by the table and not forward holding the book. I never knew someone could look so elegant sitting down in a casual posture. The way sometimes the air would blow some of his dark locks out of his face only to go back resting on his forehead leaves me mesmerized.
He is in his own world like I find myself, and that intrigues me. Strangely though he never orders anything to consume while he is there, the same young lady who talks to me goes up to him. I have never actually managed to hear his voice but he does give her a small smile just like she does.
I started to feel a bit…irritated when he gives her that smile. Why should I feel that irritation? I don't know him, or his name, or even heard his voice and yet I can feel that green eyed monster creep in slowly. Is this behavior normal? Why should I feel like this? We are not together, he is not mine, nor am I his. I don't even know what his favorite color is. My wild guess would be black because he seems to wear those colors the most. But that is just making assumptions, I wear a lot of black too and yet my nails are a bright pink that has a nice shimmer to it, that's my favorite color.
As I'm about to finish the sketch of his broad shoulders, he's gone. My eyebrows furrow as I do a quick skim of my surroundings. He moves fast.
“You have quite the talent, little flower”
My eyes popped open as I felt my back stiffen and the pencil I had in hand fall to the ground. That voice…deep with richness, made my tired eyes fill with awareness and energy. I turn slightly to meet with the man I've had my focus on this afternoon looking at me with an amused look. That emotion sure does fit him perfectly, he was made to be smiling. As I gaze up at him, any function of knowing how to be a human flew out. He walked around my table to sit in front of me, my gaze never leaving him as he moved.
“What? Surprised I'm talking to you after weeks of never doing so?”
I nod, which makes him chuckle at my lack of words. How can I even when the man I have unfortunately fallen for is talking to me for the very first time?
“I was working up the courage to talk to you for a while now, but your beauty intimidated me”
My beauty? Oh what a charmer he is. I have never been called beautiful before, never been complimented before, not even my own parents have. None of that mattered after this handcrafted handsome species of a man has flattered me with his words.
“Your quite the charmer, I thought you were going to be cold and stoic”
His cute smile turned into a smirk. “Well, am I not full of surprises today?”
“What gave you the sudden courage to talk to me?”
“I've been catching your eye every once in a while and then you would furiously be in your sketchbook, I thought for sure you were interested in me, am I wrong?”
So he’s been watching me in return, yes I'm mortified that he's noticed I've been noticing him but at the same time I'm more intrigued in how he managed to spot my eyes on him when he was deeply engrossed in his book.
“How did you manage to catch my eyes?”
“How can I not catch your eyes? The sun gives you a little spotlight that makes you look like a fallen angel while it also accentuates each of your facial gestures, you almost made it impossible for me to focus on my daily reading”
“You almost sound like a stalker”
“Well sue me for liking a lady”
I smile at his comment. “You like me?”
“You have no idea little flower how lovestruck you have me, you are a natural beauty, inside and out”
I felt my cheeks heat up with warmth as I feel like a fish out of water trying to understand how this man, who I don't even know his name yet, has a way with words. At this moment it feels like if we have known each other for years now, the way I can talk to him with such comfort for days, if time will permit me, is so abnormal for me. I have never been “a people person”, I tend to be a bit more of an introvert and it takes me a while to grow comfortable with people. But right now, with him, that is a whole other story.
“Care to give me a name? I need to know the name of the man who is wooing me”
“Felix, and your’s little flower?”
“Y/N”
“What a beautiful name”
I look at Felix for anticipation as he looks up from my journal. I just finished writing my first short story and I based it on us. It was meant as a gift for Valentine's day but my excitement got the best of me. I wanted to focus more on my perspective of how I felt when I met him and what my thoughts were before I met him too. I haven't told him yet only snips but I knew from the start I wanted to do this for him.
He finally speaks which eases my nerves a bit.“You know how you say you are not good with words”
“Yes?”
“My flower, you have such a way with words, I love reading your inner thoughts because I might not be able to actually read yours, reading this makes me feel I am able to”
I wanted to cry but I kept myself together, Felix…what can I say about him…he knows what to say to make me feel like i'm the only breathing soul, he treats me like the center of his universe. I always say to myself what did I did in my past life that life decided to give me a sweet loving man like Felix as a reward. I must have died the most gruesome way or suffered tremendously if it means I got such a happy life now with this giant.
“So you like it then”
“I love it”
He crushes me into a deep hug as I bury my face into his chest, now that we are the same temperature, me and Felix don't have to wear sweaters when we hug. I can feel his warmth that always leaves me craving for more.
You’re a natural beauty, so unique, so unique. My perfect dear, be my muse. We’re so comfortable together….My body wraps around yours so perfectly…I'm drunk with your scent, getting hazy again. Don't get plucked away, please.
Lyrics from 'Bae Bae' by Big Bang
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