#and then seeing all sorts of Consequences. getting found out + her boy's reputation fucking down the stairs + she's a teenager and

[leatherbookmark]

"I know why you want to return to our world, Meggie! You just miss your boyfriend! But we haven't seen everything of this beautiful world yet!" Mr Mortimer sir your wife was enslaved for working as a scribe disguised as a man. In this world women are punished for learning their fathers' craft and your thirteen years old daughter would be already married if she was born in this world. I know the books are very pretty but Mo your wife is pregnant. I don't think they have c-sections here :(

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 4/2/2024

in which i try to clean two different boxes with varying success

new people: hello! the tuesdaypost is a weekly roundup of stuff i've been listening, reading, watching, playing, and making. it is NOT a recommendation series, although i sometimes dabble in critique. when im firing on all cylinders i ask "what is the core concept of this? does it succeed in what i think it's trying to do and what it says it's doing?is it well-made but i dislike it/beautiful but not for me? why? what parts Really Work?"

if you are into purity culture, yelling at other people about the problematic media they consume, or are under 18 i am going to have very little patience for you.

listening

now that i live in houston i am legally obliged to loop the new beyonce album 24/7. there is absolutely truly nobody fucking doing it like her. every song is a multimedia art piece. goddamn do i miss the album as a tool to convey a specific concept/listening order/flow. sometimes (chappell roan most recently comes to mind, although it does feel unfair to compare anyone to beyonce) every individual song is pretty good but the listening experience if you sit down and listen all the way through the album is unpleasant and choppy. not so here. NEVER here.

my favorite like Dance Number is YA YA (it samples nancy sinatra's boots! and the beach boys' good vibrations! wildly different tones despite coming out a year apart!)

the one that goes on four different character/tone playlists is BODYGUARD.

great early roundup of influences, samples, and collaborators. delighted to see five fingers for marseilles listed, a rocky but underrated south african neo-western free on tubi rn for americans

-

reading

also very texas-relevant with the recent pornhub lawsuits! pornhub and sex tech (among other things) have been samantha cole's beat for almost ten years. i trust her to report sensitively and not for like. shock clicks

this site has a free paywall (sign up with your email for a link to the full article) so bots have a harder time scraping articles: this is a journalist-founded site with only the four founders running it and writing articles. while annoying i do think this is a reasonable measure

The platform still has problems, but after years of critical reporting and a litany of legal and reputational consequences, Pornhub is now more heavily moderated than any other porn platform, and most major social media platforms, for that matter. A growing list of age verification laws has put Pornhub in a position where it is compelled to block access to its site in seven states and counting. In theory, these laws are designed to prevent children from being able to access pornography online. In reality, what is going to happen is that children are going to end up on pornographic sites that don’t care what the law says, and where some of the most harmful content that exists online is actively promoted to them.

she's also got a new limited series podcast with CBC about the rise and fall of pornhub, which was fascinating and kept me company during an extremely early morning drive

-

watching

i'm lukewarm about this one but i spend a lot of time getting there, much like this movie

ive been watching a lot of frankly dogshit thrillers, which has made me wonder: what's the deal with supervillans? where did they come from? and thence arrived at the prototypical film Dr Mabuse the Gambler (1922, dir. Lang). the four and a half hour cut on Kanopy is two normal-length movies superglued together, which makes sense as a streaming product but it is sort of a terrifying runtime and took me three days to get through.

sometimes, as we know, i get a real bee in my bonnet about visiting the early versions of things. dr mabuse is the blueprint for every james bond and mission impossible villain, or really any shadowy supervillain with power over [INDUSTRY] or [THE MARKET]. it is a four and a half hour long cat and mouse game through lavish, eccentric sets between mabuse and prosecutor wenk. it has some trouble sustaining itself bc it is four and a half hours long but does deliver on the cat and mouse aspects. this letterboxed review has interesting things to say about the political climate of 1922 germany and how lang subverts the formula of the pulp serial.

really the film opens with mabuse yelling at his cocaine-addicted assistant, but the film properly gets going with mabuse's henchmen stealing a trade agreement (nothing really carbon dates a movie more than a missing trade agreement. vanishingly few post-early-30s movies have missing trade agreements as plot points) and then he crashes the stock market. for fun and profit.

however. i think every time you see an evil man who is a banker or stockbroker or generally uses money as power you have to interrogate whether it's antisemitic. the answer here is "maybe" but i'm not sure if intent matters when contemporary nazi critics were eager to hold mabuse up as "this is the typical jewish criminal". (sorry about the link directly to wikipedia, it's been touch finding online sources for this section). mabuse is not specifically jewish, but there are certainly elements of stereotype. i am still not good at being presented with "this movie has a shadowy behind the scenes figure manipulating the government and all the money ever" and going "hey wait a minute".

after that tremendous glaring caveat, for which i read more contemporary reviews and reviews in general than i ever read for movies in these posts, is it good? eh. a contemporary VARIETY review remarked (and i largely agree)

The direction of Fritz Lang has moments – but Lang somewhat negates his good technical effects by twenty forty-word captions of a ludicrous unconciseness.

the night scenes are particularly well done, and imo are better than many modern night scenes--other contemporary reviews remarked

In this film the techniques of the film camera (Carl Hoffmann’s brilliant photography) are brought to perfection. The problem of how to film lit-up streets at night has been solved for the first time. It is unbelievably impressive to see the glaring lights of speeding cars flash through the night or the rapid passing of an elevated train of the initially blurred, then gradually focussed glimpse through a pair of opera glasses on to the variety stage, the nuances of light and shade—these things alone prove the value of film documentary.

look at this shit! filmed from within the cars! in 1922!!!

this film asks you to believe hypnotism is real and really effective, so i don't think it's that big of a leap when it asks you to believe in ghosts. i don't understand that quibble from contemporary viewers. there are several on screen suicides with like. specific methods. which is not currently regarded as good filmmaking practice. im curious to know what contemporary audiences thought but couldn't immediately turn anything up, and wading through masters’ theses on cinematic suicide is a little beyond my current mental health.

if i were a more content-minded woman this would turn into a clickbait video essay about the antisemitic origins of every supervillan. however i am unqualified and untalented at video editing and i'm sure there are forty theses on this already. this movie is a hard sell to anyone jewish or employed. it is also a stunning example of cutting-edge film technology and part of the genesis of the modern supervillan. Fritz Lang films tend to fall in the category of “movies i am happy to see once and feel no need to revisit”.

-

playing

playing what is effectively the same game three times back to back (breath of the wild, tears of the kingdom, genshin impact) has sort of burned me out on open world games with a focus on battle skill progression and stumbling across little puzzles in the overworld. i have to get itch.io up and running on this pc and find the most linear jankiest possible one-sitting indie thing. or several of them. i might try the solo ttrpg Gentleman Bandit i seem to have acquired in one of the giant charity bundles

brief breath of the wild update bc i don't want to pull screenshots off my switch: i have gotten to the boss fight for the gerudo and goron regions, have not completed them bc my focus in this game is NOT hearts, and am in the middle of the zora temple. despite the quality of life improvements and new regions in totk i think i prefer botw: progression is a bit easier, there are fewer mmo-style hub quests and repeatable quests. things like the stable photos are cute but very repetitive, so are the sign bracing puzzles, and the sky crystal quests for sky shrines feel VERY samey. also dislike how the CLEAR OUT: [REGION] quests with the monster suppression squads reset at the blood moon.

anyway! to genshin! there was an exceptionally fun little event with a surprisingly involved management sim tacked onto the game??? you make and sell potions fulfilling different requirements, and can eventually stock travelling merchants all over the continent. the actual act of making the potions was this block-filling 1010! style thing (screenshot from polygon)

the new region, a port town and tea-growing area called Chenyu Vale, is maybe the prettiest one in the game so far? it's the one that feels the most picturesque and Designed, like this is one huge mansion garden studded with follies. they also added background chatter and noise in the cities and towns, which really startled me and makes them feels much more lived in! this is a fun trick to avoid putting in a thousand NPCs and making everyone's framerate crash. the less stuff in your game, the less shit can go wrong.

also pulled for and got chiyori, a geo-aligned seamstress (and sometime spy???) swordswoman who has what i can only call domme voice

-

making

ok now we'll talk about boxes. i was rearranging my kitchen, as unemployed women are known to do, and noticed this recipe box i picked up back in mass was disgusting. the finish is starting to fail but it was genuinely grody and last summer i packed my kitchen in a blind panic inside an hour and did not have time to address it. i have never seen a recipe box at an estate sale before or since and it made me desperately sad.

it was full of a lot of stuff.

i went at it with a somewhat inadvisable combination of things: wood soap didn't budge it, so i dampened a paper towel in vinegar and wiped it down in the vain hope it would do something. the thing that worked, and would be inadvisable for anything veneered or less densely textured, was baking soda paste and the scrubby side of a sponge. it still smells Very musty even after 48h of loose baking soda inside with several changes, but that might be partly the recipe cards' fault. i would like to refinish this at some point but i don't have polyurethane on hand and the fun little project budget is empty until further notice/i get a job.

the hinge did rust a bit despite my best efforts but that has since been lightly steel wooled and oiled. a well loved object! it's possible the lady who died just fucking sucked and that's why literally her entire estate including many other things families usually keep was on sale, but i would like to think perhaps she simply had no other family? a well loved/used object even if all the recipes are for semi-horrifying fifties new england recipes.

the other box, pre-acids but post-washing: this topp trading card box with seven episode one packets of cards was intact with the original seal. i have verified it was not worth much more than the $5 i paid for it with the trading card obsessed man in my best friend's husband's friendgroup. i bought this three months ago but the man was unavailable to open it until uhhh last week. some sort of liquid got inside it at some point and it was super corroded. i was going to store embroidery floss in here but even with all my powers (barkeepers friend. brasso.) i cannot completely remove the corrosion. it's not corroded Through but it looks bad and feels rough. so it goes. it'll probably hold the tiedown straps in my car bc that plastic bucket is rapidly failing

[mypoisonedvine]

Can u pls write something like dark!reader x steve rogers high school AU , where R is rich spoil brat & she always had a crush on steve but she always bully him by calling him skinny and all and Then yrs later, time changes her family discarded her from will and she becomes poor and need job, got hired for PA by dark ceo!steve rogers who she bullied her all school lifee😈😈

okay this is a lot for a headcanon but I don’t have time to do a whole oneshot BUT I also really like it so we’re gonna just make a longass headcanon here we gooooo

warnings for heavy dub con, choking, slapping, degradation (by steve), bullying (by the reader), abortion mention, brief mention of/implied assault.

“heyo pipsqueak” you called out to get steve’s attention, laughing when he frowned.  “looks like you grew a whole inch over summer, be sure to have your mom draw a line in pencil on the doorframe.”

he just rolled his eyes and got back to chatting with his friend.  not friends, friend, cause he only had one: bucky, who snarled at you as well.

“pick on someone your own size, if you can find somebody with as big a head as you,” bucky shot back, making you scoff.

“you know, it’s a shame you hang out with this deformed freak, you could’ve been popular.  you’ve got the looks for it.”

“I’d rather keep my brains, thanks,” bucky explained as you walked away with your posse of fellow popular kids.

you didn’t used to be so mean to steve.  it was sort of a comedy of errors, really.  you two had been friends in elementary school-- you, him, and bucky were the rambunctious trio up until middle school.  

things change for boys and girls in middle school.  guys just get along with each other and don’t think about it much.  girls, though... girls need to be sharp.  it’s eat or be eaten.  and you wanted to eat.

you were lucky that you developed early.  it meant that girls respected you and boys feared you-- not just for your attractive features but for the fact that you loomed a foot over most of them.

you started to take advantage of it.  and by the time you realized you had feelings for your best friend steve, it was already too late-- he was at the bottom of the food chain and you were at the top.  

you told your new girl friends that you wanted to take steve to the sadie hawkins.  they laughed at you.  for a moment, you felt what it was like to be outcast and you never wanted to feel it again.  so, you told steve and bucky that you’d grown apart.  and you were happy to just be former friends...

it was steve that started it.  he called you out.  he told you that you were nothing like who he used to know-- you had become vapid and cold and narcissistic.

“you’re so busy worrying about what other people think, you never take the time to think for yourself.”  that was what he said.  and it fucking hurt.

“saw you talking to your boyfriend steve the dweeb,” your friend tanya announced at lunch just a few minutes after that conversation.  and you were angry, and hurt, and truly friendless despite being surrounded by other popular girls.  so you said some things you could never take back.

“steve?  as if.  did you know he still sleeps with a security blanket?  and he has his friend bucky fight for him every week cause if he took a punch he’d crumble to dust?”

and so, mortal enemies were formed.  it only got worse in high school, as you fought to secure your title at the top while steve and bucky’s presence filled your heart with guilt and your gut with anger.

if only you’d known how quickly you could fall from your high horse.

it started when you dated tanya’s ex, brock.  she was made so she spread a rumor that you would fuck any guy on the football team, even all of them at once.

apparently, a lot of people believed it since tanya had been your sidekick since 6th grade.

two football players believed it.  and when you wouldn’t follow through on it, you got yourself a black eye.

that meant you missed school for a week because you couldn’t possibly show up looking like that.  tanya told everyone it was because you got grounded and sent away to church camp after your parents caught you in bed with one of the neighbors.  so now your reputation was ‘sleeps with football players and old men.’

only brock had been there for you.... but it turned out he had motives of his own.  you had originally planned to wait until college, but brock was clearly wanting something in return for putting up with dating pariah #1... so you let him take your virginity.

the condom broke.  when you dashed to the trash can to hurl in the middle of history class, you knew something was wrong.  (and lost that many more social points in the process.)

brock dumped you the second he found out you were pregnant.  didn’t even help you pay for the abortion.  he got back together with tanya and told her the real reason for your ‘medical absence’.  and that was the last straw for the former homecoming queen.

the humiliation drove you to some.... poor choices, for the next few years.  you tried not to think about them now, but it was hard not to when their consequences were staring you right in the face: no money, no job, nearly homeless, and desperate.

over a hundred job applications later, only one had called you back and scheduled an interview.  and you only needed one.

so there you were, waiting in the chilly lobby area while the receptionist typed away and chomped her gum, tapping your toes and glancing out the window occasionally.

you were surprised when you had been told your interview would be on the 51st floor.  you sort of assumed it would just be some random manager interviewing you, not somebody important enough to have a waiting room like this, or a view like this.

when a man stepped out from the nearby hallway, your eyes went wide.  he was tall, and handsome, and obviously muscular underneath the exquisite suit.  you suddenly felt underdressed in your hand-me-down business clothes.

then he called your name.  and you realized he was going to interview you.

you stood up and nodded.  “you can follow me to my office,” he instructed with a smile, leading you down the hall to the corner office.  you were in awe of the grandiosity of it all.  you were dumbfounded when you saw CEO on the door.

“there must have been a mistake,” you explained as he shut the door behind you.  “I... I’m just interviewing for an entry-level position.”

“no, there’s no mistake,” he shook his head, “I have you exactly where I want you.  take a seat.”

he circled his desk and sat on the other side of it, resting his elbows on the desk and giving you an oddly smug smile.  an awkward silence was finally broken when he realized, “you must not remember me.”

“I... have we met?” 

“I don’t blame you, I look pretty different,” he shrugged.  “I must’ve grown a whole inch this summer.”

you gave him a confused look before realization dawned on you, along with shame, and fear.

“oh... oh my god, Steve?!” you squawked.  he just grinned.  “you look... you look...”

“taller?”

sexy.

“you look great!” you said aloud instead.

“yeah,” he agreed, “wish I could say the same for you.”

you swallowed dryly.  “so that’s what you want,” you sighed, “to get back at me.  I understand.  I deserve it...”

“I don’t want revenge,” he denied.  “I’m just sorry to see you haven’t been... thriving, since high school.  your job history--” he scanned your resume briefly-- “well, you don’t have one.  have you been slumming it all this time?”

“without my parents’ money?  yeah,” you admitted.  

“surprised you applied here, instead of turning tricks on 5th and Columbus.”

your back straightened and your eyes went wide at that comment.

“I mean, you’re already dressed for it,” he smirked.

you stood up and crossed your arms.  “if you’re just going to insult me, then I’ll leave now.  I’m sorry for everything I did to you, steve,” you announced, voice shaky with oncoming tears.

“can you really afford to leave?” he pressed.  “if you have a chance at a job?”

that, unfortunately, got your attention.  “you... you might actually offer me something?”

“I will offer you something,” he corrected, “if you just sit down and listen.”

you relented, returning to your seat.  you could stand a lot more insults if there was money on the line.

“to be honest, there’s no way I can hire you for the position you applied for,” he sighed.  “you’re just underqualified.  but I think I can create a position for you.”

you liked the sound of that.  “what kind of position?”

“well, that’s tricky, seeing as you don’t have any skills,” he frowned, “except one.  so that’s the one I plan on using.”

the look in his eyes made it all too clear what he was referring to, but as you shrunk into the leather chair he went ahead and clarified.

“I’ll pay you whatever salary you saw in the ad.  but you won’t be doing data analysis or office management or anything like that.  all you’ll be doing is spreading your legs for me whenever I fucking want.”

fear shot up your spine; his eyes were devouring you, pinning you to the chair, and you tried to process that.  “I--”

“before you say anything,” he interrupted immediately, “let’s just be perfectly clear that this might be your only shot at a real job.  what I’m offering has better pay than stripping, and better benefits than hooking.  and unless you have any education or experience I don’t know about, you’re totally fucked.”

“seems like I’m fucked either way,” you mumbled, making him laugh.

“see, you’ve still got that sharp tongue,” he grinned.  “can’t wait to put it to better use.”

maybe it was just desperation for cash.  maybe it was because he was good-looking and you could do a lot worse.  maybe it was because, on some level, you felt like you deserved his punishment after how horribly you’d treated him.

“I’ll do it,” you sighed.  “when do I start?”

he stood up and reached across the desk to grab your neck, glaring at you.  “right now.”

his free hand was already fumbling with his belt, the one on your throat guiding you downwards.  “on your knees,” he instructed, and you slipped out of the chair and onto the floor.

he let go of your neck and you figured he was going to come to you, but instead he stood still and demanded: “crawl.”

debasing as it was, you crawled on your knees to his side of the desk, and he laughed at you bitterly.  when you reached his feet and popped back up, you gasped at the sight of his hard cock right in front of your face. it was bigger than your face.  and it was dripping precum.

“don’t get so bug-eyed, you can handle it,” he grinned.  “if your mouth’s as big as I remember...”

you didn’t want to hear any more.  you just wanted to get this over with, so you quickly took his head between your lips and started to suck.  you were shocked when he slapped you, hard enough to knock his length from your mouth and to make you reach up and clutch your stinging cheek.

“fucking whore,” he grimaced, “did I say you could put it in your mouth?  god, you’re so fucking desperate.  just open your fucking mouth and I’ll show you what I want, okay?”

you nodded and stammered an apology, looking up at him with watery eyes and an open mouth.  he swiped the latest drop of precum on your tongue before gliding his cock over it, grabbing your hair to keep you steady as he pushed himself to the back of your throat.

“fuck, that’s better,” he sighed.  “so much better when you just do what you’re told.  I remember how you used to be so cruel with this mouth.  now you’re being so welcoming...”

you just sat there and let him use your mouth, trying not to gag when he hit your throat.

“look up at me,” he instructed, “yeah, that’s it.  can’t have you forgetting who’s doing this to you, now can we?”

that went on for a bit longer until mascara-stained tears streaked your face, which he seemed rather proud of.

“damn, wouldn’t mind having you swallow my come right now,” he admitted, “but I have bigger plans.  get up, bend over my desk.”

you coughed briefly when he pulled out, but did as you were told.  he instantly yanked your skirt up over your ass and spanked you several times roughly, making you sob and whine.

“wanna see this ass all bruised up in the shape of my hand,” he explained.  “so we can both remember how hard I fucked you.”

he tore your panties like they were paper, chuckling when he found you already wet.

“dripping already, just from choking on my cock?  poor baby...”

you spread your legs slightly, though you were sure nothing was going to adequately prepare you for his size.

“you figured out how to use birth control since graduating, right?” he asked, and you nodded quickly.  “good.  cause I’m not using a condom,” he continued as he let his cock glide over your folds, groaning slightly, “and there’s no way in hell I’m pulling out.”

he pushed forward in one brutal stroke, making you cry out loudly.  you really hoped these rooms were mostly soundproof.

“shit, you’re tight,” he hissed, already pulling back and thrusting back in.  “clearly you recovered from your years of slutting it up in high school.”

“that-- that wasn’t true,” you defended.

“oh, just shut up,” he growled.

he fucked you fast and deep, his hips pushing yours into the edge of his desk with each thrust.  his hands pinned you down at your shoulders, another reminder that you were entirely at his mercy.

“fuck, this is just what you needed... somebody to put you in your place.  makes sense that it should be me, since you hated me so much.”

“I didn’t h-hate you,” you hiccuped. 

“yeah, you wanted me, didn’t you?”

“always,” you admitted.

“wanted my fat fuckin’ cock to tear up your pussy?  is that it?”

“yes,” you moaned, “yes, steve, wanted to be yours.”

“even when I was skinny and short?”

“even when you hated me,” you added.

he growled slightly and you felt your walls tighten around him suddenly.  he chuckled, clearly aware that you were enjoying this.

“you want more, baby?  want me to fuck you harder?”

“whatever you want,” you answered instead.  “just use me however you want.”

he moaned and leaned down to cage your body in with his.  “fuck, baby... you’re taking this better than I thought you would.  such a good girl for me, huh?  such a good little slut.  want me to use you, baby?  take all my anger out on you?”

“yes,” you whispered, sobbing when he began to fuck you more brutally than you thought possible.  but it felt good.  so good that your legs were shaking, so good that you felt even better when he tugged your hair.

“yeah, gonna come on my cock, aren’t you?” 

you nodded and bit your lip.

“m’ close too,” he admitted, “you’re gonna be so full of my come, it’s gonna be dripping down your legs when you walk out of here...”

your orgasm made your body shake and your eyes roll back.

“fuck, I can feel you coming,” he groaned, “fuck, just like that-- fuck!”

you felt his warmth fill you as his cock flexed against your walls.  you were busy trying to catch your breath when he slumped down on top of you and pushed the air from your lungs.

“damn... didn’t think I was gonna come that fast,” he sighed.  “see what you do to me?  fuck, I knew this was a good idea.”

sure, it felt good, but you were sure he was only going to get rougher and meaner the longer this went on.  you couldn’t imagine how you were going to get out of here without somebody noticing your wrinkled clothes, messed-up hair and, as he’d pointed out himself, come all over your thighs.

“guess I’ll see you at 8am tomorrow, huh?” he chuckled, giving you an unexpected peck on the cheek.  you couldn’t answer, though, interrupted by the phone on his desk ringing.  “oh, sorry, gotta get this.”

he reached for the phone and picked it up, bringing to his ear all without pulling out of you or even lifting his body from on top of yours.

“bucky, hey,” steve grinned as he spoke into the phone, looking down at you and stroking your hair, “you’re not gonna believe who I ran into today...”

[julyarchives]

Don’t You Hear Me Howling? || (M) || 01

Finding out you are a female Alpha sparkled some rivalry inside your pack, and resulted in you losing your best friend and your life turning upsidedown, so leaving for college was the fresh start you needed. Years later, you are about to finish your degree and suddenly this past comes back to mess with your head.

→ Pairing: Yeo One x Female Reader | Kino x Female Reader

→ Genre: Smut; A/B/O AU; Omegaverse; College AU.

→ Words:  3.4K

→ Contains: Mentions of Alcohool; Power Play; Hair Pulling.

→ A/n: Hey guys! So this is our new multi-chaptered story! We have never written this kind of AU before, so please be kind if you spot any mistakes and feel free to educate us. This story will follow cisgender real-life anatomy (a.k.a. it won’t have knotting, mpreg and changes of those sorts). This took us out of our comfort zone and we enjoyed writing it so much that we couldn’t wait any longer to share it with you guys. We hope you all like it as much as we do!

→ Index: 01 • 02 • 03 • 04  • 05  • 06  • 07  • 08

Changgu and you have been friends since before you could remember. You grew up in the same pack, Changgu being the firstborn of the alpha. It was obvious to everyone that he was going to be Alpha as well, the next one to take over the pack when his dad steps down. You two grew up as best friends, and the consequence of being brought up together with an alpha-to-be is that you end up getting some of his personality traits. You were very stubborn and territorial, often getting into trouble for feeling jealous when someone tried to approach your friends. But it was all brushed off as you just mirroring your friend.

Changgu got his first heat at the age of 15, and everyone celebrated the fact that his scent was very much dominant. Everyone started treating him differently, even your other friends in common, but to you, he was the same old Changgu, and one more time your lack of responsiveness was just “she just didn’t get her heat yet, I bet she’s going to change in a few years. I swear, those two will end up marrying”

You heard that since you were a child, and for a while you let yourself believe that. He was your best friend in the world, so why not? You would be his omega, fine, he’s always treated you nicely, so it wasn’t the worst idea.  You two remained friends, even though he was becoming a different person each day, cockier and sometimes even rude, growling and bossing everyone around. You were the only one that never took his shit, but he never seemed to mind that

Until the day of your first heat. It was all the pack would talk about. You were in your senior year, and when everyone realized that your scent was much stronger than Changgu’s it was a shock. It took a while for you to believe that you were really an Alpha, and to understand what that meant for Changgu. He was actually a Beta, that’s why everyone assumed he was an Alpha when you didn’t have your scent. It explains his personality and yours being so similar. It explains everything. 

At first, you didn’t think it was that big of a deal for your friendship, but Changgu suddenly started hating you. You two had plans to go to college together and even live together at some point, but after he found out he wasn’t the Alpha, he redirected his frustration towards you. As an Alpha, you could hold him back sometimes, stopping him from being the worst dickhead. But sometimes you just let it go for the sake of the friendship. He wasn’t willing to do the same.

Once you two moved out to college, it was the breaking point. He stopped talking to you at all, barely acknowledging your presence when you two came across each other in the hall.

Eventually, you just gave up and accepted you weren’t friends anymore. He found his omega friends where he could be the dominant one, and the fact that he provoked heat in them gave him quite a reputation on campus. You were fine, though, have moved on with your life, and last year to graduate as a chemical engineer, developing a research thesis on the studies of blockers and those types of hormones.  

This thesis was so important for you because it's a pioneer one in blockers for female Alphas, using plant based hormones to help block scents but not body growth, actually helping with it, so females can not be jeopardized by smaller body structure than males. Your life was hard because of that condition, that's why changing that for future Alpha Women meant so much to you, and nothing could stop you from achieving your biggest goal in life.

All of that didn’t stop you from developing certain anger towards him for abandoning you just for some stupid hierarchy shit. 

It was a particularly shitty day. All your lab experiments went wrong, and you got so out of control when a girl tried to help that you actually lost it and growled so loud that caused everyone in the room to stop immediately what they were doing and lower their heads towards you.

You just sighed, holding back all your instincts, and left everything behind. Rushing through the way to your apartment, you stumbled onto Wooseok

“Wow, (y/n), what is going on? I could feel chills all the way across the yard” He held onto your shoulders, towering his 1.9m over you.

Another growl escaped your lips, his touch was not doing you any good. He just released you, holding his own hand behind his back and muttering an apology. Wooseok is an omega from your pack, one of the friends you used to have in common with Changgu. You guys never lost touch, especially because he was a very submissive omega. But overall, a good friend.

“Everything is going to shit today, I got caught in the rain, my experiments went wrong, I frightened everyone in the lab and I’m pretty sure I’m getting my rut soon, so help me God if anyone else fucking touches me I will have a fit.”

“Oh, I see.” He twisted his lips “Let’s throw a party, my frat house is always down for a rager. You can find a nice unmarked person to have your fun with, and getting wasted as a bonus”

“That’s why you are my favorite omega” you reached up above you and patted his hair, and his reaction was smirk proud of himself “see you tonight.”.

Wooseok’s frat was huge. He lived with about 9 other boys, and they were known for having the best parties, so you had high hopes for tonight. The place was already crowded and the music loud. You quickly looked around searching for your friend, with no problem finding him, given his height.

“Hey, you made it!” he said when you approached, and introduced you to his group of friend “guys, this is my Alpha (y/n)”

One guy chuckled, you looked directly at him

“She’s your Alpha?” he asked, condescendingly, eyeing you up and down.

Your smile quickly faded.

“Got a problem with that?” You lifted one brow, crossing your arms in front of your chest

“Nothing, your just…” He looked at Wooseok, then at you “short.”

Alphas are usually the tallest of the pack. You weren’t. Being a female Alpha was already difficult, harder to be respected, and your height has always been a reason to be discredited of your position, you always took shit for that. You hated it.

Your blood boiled, everyone around you could feel it, it was easily noticed how everyone flinched. Your eyes were fixated on the boy, ready to jump at his throat. How could he be so disrespectful to an Alpha?

“Shouldn’t have said that, man” Wooseok said immediately

You growled hand curled into fists. You started to move to go against the boy, but a hand caught your wrist. 

Changgu was looking at you seriously, a very concentrated frown, though not a mad one, just focused. You two didn’t exchange words, just stared at each other for a while. As your Beta, the influence he has on you due to your connection is undeniable. With just that look, he meant “I got this”. And you trusted him.

The stupid boy had his head lowered still, he knew he fucked up. Everyone was paying attention to what happened, your scent probably stronger than ever. Changgu released you.

“C’mon, get away from here. And learn to have some respect” He smacked the boy in the back of the head. 

You were now calming down, and feeling embarrassed for causing a scene right when you arrived. You turned to Wooseok, who was watching you attentively.

“Get me to the booze, would ya?” You asked, and he just nodded and obeyed.

Arriving at the kitchen, Wooseok passed you a can of beer.

“I’m sorry for him, he was a jerk” he said, starting the conversation

“It’s alright, I’m used to it, honestly. Just lost my head because of everything today, I told you.”

“I know. I’m sorry”

“Yeah, it’s ok.” You took a long sip. Staring straightforwardly, you continued, not daring to look at Wooseok for the next sentence. “Didn’t know Changgu was going to be here”

“You didn’t? He moved in this semester.” He said carefully., knowing your history. “I was hoping you two wouldn’t stumble onto each other, it is a big party, it had a chance of happening.”

“Lucky me, my Beta senses my every feeling like a radar” you said with irony.

“At least he stopped you from committing a homicide in my house” your friend joked.

“Shut up” you punched his arm lightly.

Encountering Changgu was something else entirely. This was the most he acknowledged you in years. You do understand, though, that it was a natural reaction, very instinctive. No matter how much time you spend apart, if you two are near enough, he will sense every strong feeling of yours and act as your right arm. 

You hated that he was looking good. He recently dyed his hair a pale blond, his cut-out black tank top displaying his strong arms were very sexy, his piercing dark eyes staring directly at you, knowing your every feeling. God, you bet the sex would be amazing, and…

“Erm, y/n,” Wooseok shifted “You horny very out loud” 

“Oh,” you adjusted yourself “Sorry” you laughed.

The downside to being an alpha about to get your rut is that everyone around you gets horny. Even without you want to.

“I’ll fix that, let me introduce you to someone” 

Wooseok guided you to the crowd. Your eyes immediately found Changgu’s again. You couldn’t keep off of each other’s now. Years without any kind of contact were replaced by his touch and all the mental talk you just had. Now the bond grew stronger. It was inevitable to find each other no matter where, and it was pissing you off. You wouldn’t be the one to cave in, not at all. He was the one who put distance between the two of you, so he will be the one to change that if he wants.

Wooseok moved out of the way, letting one of his friends stop in front of you.

“y/n, this is Kino. Kino, this is y/n, the one I talked about earlier today.”

“It’s nice to meet you, y/n” he smiled at you, reaching his hand respectfully.

He was cute. He seemed young and cheerful, yet his eyes hovering you all over showed his intentions were beyond cheerful.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Kino” You dragged his name, sounding good on your lips.

He smelled like fresh strawberries, the scent filling up your nostrils very intoxicatingly. He was in heat. Just what you needed exactly. You had to remember to thank Wooseok later.

“I’ll leave you guys to it” Your friend excused himself, probably overwhelmed with the number of pheromones in the air.

“So, I’ve never been with a female alpha before. This should be fun” He grinned, his flirty personality enticing you

“Well, I guess there’s a first time for everything” You winked at him.

“Better not waste time, then” He reached for your hand, which you gladly allowed him to, and he guided you away from the crowd.

As you approached the empty hallway that led to the bedrooms, you stopped and backed Kino against the wall.

“Your scent is driving me crazy” You said in a low seductive voice, pressing your body against his.

His immediate reaction was to hold your waist and pull you closer, Hips rubbing together so you could feel his bulge through his jeans

“I could say just the same.” was the last thing he said before closing the distance between you two.

He kissed you hard and hungry, contrasting with his soft lips. His hands immediately slither inside your shirt, his warm touch burning trails against the skin of your back. Your nails lightly grazing against his neck, using your palms to cup his face and dominantly guide him to kiss you as you pleased. He was more than compliant.

“Shall we move this to the bedroom?” you said between pants. He looked amazing with his hair messy from the way you grabbed him, and lips in a pretty shade of pink, plump and swollen.

He just nodded, chest rising up and down fast.

This time you took his hand and pulled him to the nearest door you could find, luckily it led to a bedroom. 

“Sit.” you ordered shortly and he quickly obeyed. 

He sat at the edge of the bed, legs spread, leaning back supporting himself on his arms. He looked absolutely gorgeous, his eyes following your every move as you walked towards him and stood in between his knees.

He sat up, hands reaching under your shirt and pushing it up oh so slowly, taking his time feeling you. He looked at you with lust in his eyes. After he discarded your top, he planted slow wet kisses across your stomach, his hand working on the buttons of your jeans. He took the chance to take in your alpha scent, that’s when you say his pupil dilating, taking over almost his whole iris.

“You’re so gorgeous” he said, tugging your pants down. You caressed the top of his head, running your fingers through his hair.

“undress” you commanded him again.

When both of you were left naked, you straddled him, kissing him passionately as he grabbed your ass, grinding you against his bulge. You pushed him to lay down, not wasting time to sink down on his dick. Both of you couldn’t handle waiting any longer. You started riding him and he immediately started moaning and groaning high pitched in a small voice that turned you on even more. He carved his nails on your thighs as you kept the fast pace. 

He started rocking his hips up, following your movements, getting deeper inside of you, and hitting just the right spot to make you scream.

“Fuck, baby, keep doing just like that” you told him in between moans

Kino moaned louder at the pet name. You opened a smug smile.

“Like being called that, huh?” you ask and he nodded, moaning your name “like being my baby boy?”

He muttered a few curse words and your name repeatedly.

“That’s right, baby, keep being loud for me. Sounds so good” You kept encouraging him.

He looked fucked out already below you. His sweaty hair sticking to his forehead, a blush spreading across his cheeks, and his mouth hanging open.

You leaned down, not stopping moving your hips, to kiss him again, you just couldn’t resist. The harder you kissed him, the closer you got to your high. The arousal pooling in your core the harder he thrust into you. Soon like that you were coming hard and loud, and you thanked the loud music, otherwise, everyone would have heard you. Kino fucked hard, just the way you like it, and it got you exactly what you needed, obeying your every order like a good omega.

But he wasn’t done yet. 

You got off of him, laying in the bed on all fours and he soon was inside you again, taking you from behind with loud skin-to-skin sounds, his moaning getting louder and louder. 

“Pull my hair, Kino” you managed to say.

He quickly grabbed it in a make-do ponytail, pulling it so it hurt how you wanted, making you hiss in pleasure. But it got him too confident.

“Fuck, y/n, it feels so good like that” he said and followed with a light slap on your ass.

It got you snarling.

 "Oh no, don't think you're in charge.” you warned “Hit me again and we're done, baby boy"

He muttered a quick apology between gasps. 

Being put back in his place, Kino was working his hips enthusiastically now, while you backed it up against him. He definitely knew what he was doing. He took you by surprise when he reached below you for your clit, rubbing it in circular motions in sync with his thrusts. You buried your head in a pillow, muffling the high-pitched grunts leaving your throat due to the overstimulation, but you were loving every second of it. Kinos thrusts started to become more sloppy and faster, indicating he was about to cum. You both reached your high at the same time, the pheromones boosting it, making it the most intense orgasm you had in a long time. Curses and names being thrown around by the both of you, his hands digging in your hips while yours twisted the sheets around. 

Kino collapsed by your side at the same time you laid down on your back. He approached and kissed you again, this time not so urgent, but rather slow and sensual. His hand now patted your side softly, causing small goosebumps to rise on your skin. He kissed down your neck and buried his nose on your hair, taking in your scent 

“You did good…” you started teasing “baby boy”

Kino grinned, proud of himself.

“You were pretty amazing yourself.” he answered, biting his lip.

You hugged him closer, letting him cuddle you and enjoying the way he smelled as well. Strawberries will never be the same, you chuckled to yourself. You knew that for an omega, being with an Alpha was overwhelming, so you knew, that, even if the sex wasn’t the kinkiest, the aftercare was necessary.

You took the opportunity to get to know each other better. You learned that he is a dance major, which explained the flawless hip work, and he was 2 years younger than you, which was a first for you. Nevertheless, he was good company. After exchanging your numbers, agreeing to repeat the latest activity would be good both for your rut and his heat, and a quick makeout session, you both got dressed and headed back to the party due to the need for beverages.

The party was still at its high point, everyone was drunk and dancing like no one was watching. Kino and you earn a few lingering looks for showing up smelling so strongly like pheromones and sex. But you didn’t care, you were used to it. You two found a good spot on the dance floor and you told him to stay there, so you would get drinks for them.

Back at the kitchen, you quickly grabbed a pair of red cups with a blue vodka that god knows what flavor it was. When you were heading out, someone blocked your way purposefully.

“What do you want, Changgu?” You lifted your head, staring at him face-to-face, Alpha and Beta matching heights.

“So I am left to clean up your mess while you go around and fuck the first guy you see in front of you?”

You thanked whatever bigger force that the kitchen was empty, you didn’t want to cause another scene, but Changgu was getting on your nerves.

“Oh that’s so sweet, you think that was about you?” You spilled ironically.

“Just get your shit together before I have to rescue your ass for you to grind it on someone else” He said, trying to get the upper hand.

“I don’t know if you forgot, but I’m still your fucking Alpha, so back the fuck off before talking to me like that. I didn’t need you to come to rescue me of anything, I’m pretty sure I can handle myself. And finally,...” you looked at him up and down “Why do you care who I grind on? Upset it’s not on you?” 

He curled his hands in fists, staring at you with that same frown, only this time you knew he was pissed. You got closer and whispered at him.

“Next time, all you have to do is ask, sweetheart.” You bit your lips into a grin.

You backed out to stare at him again when you saw Kino approaching.

“Y/n!” he called you, Changgu immediately snapped his head to look at him, fuming. “Is everything okay?” He stared between you and Changgu, defensive mode ready to fight in case needed.

“Don’t worry, baby” You said to Kino, but actually staring at your Beta, who was gritting his teeth at you “Changgu was just leaving.”

You walked past him, bumping your shoulders on the way, and heading back to the dancefloor with Kino.

[sapphicwhxre]

tiny pansy rant, cut short so it’s *hopefully* not too long:

i. wanted. to. see. her. change! and in my opinion the reason she never got the chance was because jkr used her character to make fun of people she disliked :/

pretty much all the other noteable slytherins had some sort of redemption arc,, and yeah they’re still mostly problematic people but they got chances: snape, draco, narcissa, regulus, slughorn, leta and technically andromeda? you get the point i just—

like miss ma’am decided to make pansy,, the like slytherin stereotype? and have her want to betray harry? she was seventeen ffs, not bellatrix lestrange. she was in the middle of a war? in my personal opinion i don’t think that she wanted to hand harry over out of cruelty like. it’s possible? but maybe she was just scared? also don’t we know that pansy was terrified at the thought of like. voldemort coming to hogwarts? again: everyone expects all of the children in harry potter to be these selfless brave individuals,, they’re kids :( yes ik it’s ya fantasy but cmon. they were supposed to be stressed about the N.E.W.T exams not the upheaval of their society?

and don’t get me wrong i know that she was. not a good person. she was a bitchy teenage bully who was taught hateful views. but i wanted to see her change even a little– even draco marries someone who presumably teaches him how to treat people equally? like. there was so much room for change: she was a prefect, she was capable of some kindness seeing as she liked draco, or alternatively, we could’ve seen her break away from draco and potentially stop hating harry/all his friends quite so much or develop her own opinions. or maybe her group of friends that she used for validation throughout her school years was uprooted during the war and she had to learn that independency? or her pointing out harry could’ve been turned into trying to be selfless, like she thought they’d be safe that way, or she returned later fighting with reinforcements to show she was on Hogwarts’ side. jkr is always like "well they technically came back to fight, if you squint » but that’s not enough. also? let’s say we did get a glimpse of her during the actual battle: there could’ve been anything, the smallest scene, that showed some sort of support or reconciliation or something between her and hermione, considering how hermione was often pansy’s target. everybody wants to see forgiveness between draco and harry because of minor events/details (i dislike drarry but that’s besides the point), but imagine what could’ve changed with some semblance of apology or assistance from pansy to hermione. there were so many chances for r*wling to give her a smallest redemption

but instead we got her characterized as evil and a stupid, cowardly traitor. she the only person we ever see her care for marries her friends younger sister. she’s the written depiction of jkr’s bitterness and her arc is jkr’s vengeance.

also, another reason that i’m so mad she got nothing is because of the whole slytherin=evil thing. she’s made into a stereotype of a “slytherin”— cruel, selfish, shallow, ugly, and asinine. (also i could rant about slytherin forever, but can we just mention that jkr consistently refers to slytherins as physically ugly and just how fucked up that is? i– wtf). but anyway: to give pansy a chance to change is to give the slytherin house a chance to change its reputation. trying to justify that the slytherin house got its redemption because of the actions of ppl like snape or regulus, etc isn’t possible. because all of those “slytherin heroes” were described again and again as being “different from all the other slytherins”. they set themselves apart by being decent. they weren’t normal slytherins, no, they were set apart, they were brave and smart and kind— not evil. there’s no redemption to be found there. i wish jkr would just fucking say that being sorted into slytherin was being made into a villain. she dodged around it with rhetorical questions and pointing out how not All of them are bad,, and then will go on to mock the other slytherins and talk about how the heroes were Not Like The Other Snakes... again: there’s no redemption of slytherin as a house, as a quality, as a concept there. it’s just the redemption of an individual.

in pansy, however, we could’ve found so much more. like i said, she’s The Average Slytherin: not a hero, not a villain like voldemort. she’s made out to be a depiction of the typical slytherin student, one without a “destiny”, so to speak. and so to give her the chance, to see her change, to have her redefine herself? that would be a starting point for restoring slytherin as a whole (obviously not the best way, and the real best thing to do would be not to make an entire house be the bad guys in the first place, but–) to have someone who’s the figurehead of slytherin (like actually a figurehead,, girl is a even a prefect) show remorse and growth gives the entire house the seed of redemption. it would mean that after over a thousand years there could be peace between the houses. obviously not the only factor in reconciliation but still so important.

and not to just continue to heap on my own issues with it, but look. i know that there are so many other ways to introduce “mundane” antagonists without making them a symbol of anything. pansy could’ve been a bitch without representing slytherin. also pansy doesn’t have to break character and become kind for amends to be made. they don’t even have to be fully made, just started. but jkr chose to:

a.) go with bullying as a minor antagonistic element

b.) create and develop a character around that theme

c.) make this character only based on her own negative personal experiences

d.) turn that character into a representation of a much larger group of people

e.) deny that character any final moment that could begin to make amends for her actions and instead, chooses to make her “defining” moment an act of evil and cowardice

f.) either neglects the character or chooses plot points that would humiliate the character in all the glimpses of the future we are shown (ex. how dracos marriage is)

g.) openly mocks and insults the character repeatedly and never directly comes out and proves she didn’t write slytherins as evil

h.) to the best of my knowledge, ignores that pansy personifing slytherin, whether intentionally or unintentionally, and then characterizing both as “bad” and not giving them a chance to grow, is a summary of her thoughts on slytherin ls and is a possible interpretation of the text (i mean her opinions are already TRASH)

i. ignores the consequences of this or the possible effect it has on her entire fanbase and doesn’t seek to remedy it

but yeah, jkr, it was such a good idea to base a character off of your loathesone memories, take your anger out on her, and that choose to have that character partially represent a large percentage of your fanbase. thank you sooooo much. i really appreciate it!

summary:

I. Pansy— deserved an opportunity to have some character development. everyone else’s mistakes get overlooked to some degree save hers. had so many places to draw inspiration/opportunity from. could’ve progressed other ideas in the book and the analysis of her house while still remaining a “dislikable” character

II. Writing— from a “technical?” aspect, Pansy is underdeveloped and stagnant, used for personal reasons instead of as a plot device. perpetuates the slytherin=bad idea via a sloppy and repetitive characterization and emblem. there are ways around this that weren’t used.

III. I have no qualifications to be saying any of this lmao. Am I reading to much into it, knowing that Rowling tends to be shitty with writing details? Am I being dramatic and repetitive? probably!

IV. Fuck JKR (for everything. she’s an awful person)

anyways this has been: my mini-rant on pansy and her analysis,,, and i am terribly sorry,, i offer my apologies in advance for randomly dumping this into your inbox. it’s long and opinionated and there’s no real reason behind it! i just thought of it and then thought about it some more and then. here we are

ilysm mwah <3 should’ve definitely done something more productive but shh😭 rat brain hours

this is everything, you're completely right. i don't have much to add but i agree all the way. and people give pansy so much shit for the harry thing but she seemed genuinely scared of voldemort coming back and i really think that she believed he would leave them alone if they gave him up. from her perspective, it's either her and the people she cares about get to live or this guy that she not only isn't close to but probably sees as the bad guy considering she dated/was best friends with draco and witnessed their rivalry from his side. did she make the best decisions? no, not at all but i see her reasons and i don't think it makes her this antichrist that jkr makes her out to be. she pulled the “he's just a boy” with draco and had people sympathise with him when he did so so much worse than pansy did so why doesn't that apply to her? she's a kid. they all are. i love harry, ron, and hermione SO MUCH but jkr really said fuck everyone who isn't them ─ especially any girl who isn't her precious hermione. she projected her own pettiness onto fictional characters who are CHILDREN and proceeded to get upset when people connected to and loved other people that she herself made. creating such an underdeveloped character and expecting people to hate her just because she imagined her as her bully is beyond immature and ridiculous. anyways. jkr take a fucking chill pill and leave my girl alone.

[sleeperswakewriting]

Have you ever read the rivetra fic "in all of the lives we are" on fanfiction net? Because I did and parts of it are canon in my head. What I really want to ask is :can you too please bless us with a canonverse reincarnation fic?

I haven't read it but I bookmarked it to read later! Thank you for the rec, anon! I have a canonverse reincarnation fic that I scrapped when I first got back into writing. I plan on writing one in the future with a lot more depth, but I'll share this draft since I don't plan on going back to this fic in particular. Warning, meh writing ahead 😅

“And then my soul saw you and it kind of went, "Oh, there you are. I've been looking for you.”

— Iain Thomas, I Wrote This For You

Childhood; where threads begin, or were they there all along?

The world is a cruel place, is the mantra Levi murmured to himself over and over again.

Kenny left him when he was 10 and after giving the police the run around, he found himself in a group home for children with disturbed conduct, also known as, the leftovers in the system. The leftovers that even foster care didn’t want to look twice at because everyone in this shitty place was just as fucked up as the last kid.

Mom, why did you have to die and leave me with Uncle Kenny? Did you know he was a gang leader? Or maybe you knew being part of a gang was better than this hellhole.

He wasn’t stupid, he knew his mother was a whore, and if the feds ever found out he was living in a brothel they would’ve taken him in an instant. So maybe it was luck that he had the amount of time with her that he did.

He still remembered how she desperately tried to shield him from her work, locking him in the closet when he was small, and when he got bigger, hiding underneath the bed and saying very sternly Levi, my love, you can’t make a sound or else mommy is going to get in trouble. Remember to cover your ears, just like we practiced.

And then when she died, it didn’t come suddenly. It was coughing in the middle of the night, him begging her to please let him find a doctor and he didn’t care about the consequences, he just wanted them to be together, but his mother shook her head and insisted she would be fine.

She wasn’t, of course, and Kenny both saved and damned him. He learned how to fend for himself, beat men twice his size, and take their wallet while they were recovering from his blows. He learned how to use a knife threaten people, and while his size threw people off, he used that to his advantage.

Even though he didn’t have his knives here, he knew how to fight hand to hand, and he was itching to land a blow to the next kid who tried to steal his dinner. It was his third month into the group home, and he was on his “last warning” as the head said, and next stop was juvie. He didn’t care, his life was at the end of the line and he was only 11.

“Hey, dip shit. Gimme your cookie.” Levi glanced at the boy who suddenly appeared, some new comer who clearly didn’t know his reputation. The boy was older and bigger than him, he guessed around 13 or 14, but he didn’t care. He ignored him and took a stab at the stale meatloaf.

“Did you fucking hear me? I said give me the goddamn cookie.” Levi sighed at the idiocy of this place, he knew what it was like to starve and despite the shit he gave this place, he couldn’t complain about the three (shitty) meals they got a day and the roof over his head. The company was much to be desired and that’s what usually got him into trouble.

“Tch. Go bother someone else, I’m not interested,” he said cooly, and the boy’s face grew red. Levi balled his left fist under the table, ready to throw a punch the minute he got too close to him.

“You little fucker—“ The boy began, but before Levi could take a swing at him, his shirt collar was pulled back by a smirking brown haired boy.

“Hey, hey, Matty, you don’t want to pick on him. Didn’t you hear that he landed Sam in the hospital last month?” Immediately the boy called Matty paled and backed off instantly.

“This little guy did that? Respect, Sam was a piece of shit anyway,” he muttered the last sentence and waved Levi away.

Levi shrugged and returned to his dinner, not paying the newcomer any mind but the boy took it upon himself to sit across from him, grinning. “You’re welcome,” he said, biting into his apple. “The name’s Furlan. You’re Levi, right?”

“Didn’t ask for your help,” Levi quipped, looking up at the eerily jolly boy, narrowing his eyes. “Since you know my reputation, you might not want to stick around.”

Furlan laughed, and Levi a twinge of irritation as he continued talking instead of walking away like everyone else did. “I don’t think you’re that scary, Levi. From what I heard, you don’t start fights, right? I think the guys think you’re an easy target since you’re…Well, don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re really short. Even though everyone’s afraid of you, I think, if they’re like me, they’re really just impressed that someone around here isn’t afraid to fight the bullies.”

Levi didn’t say anything to that, he was just trying to survive into the next fucking day, and didn’t think of himself as some sort of savior. But, if Farlan believed in him, maybe he wasn’t so fucked up as he thought.

He sighed, giving the boy a once over as he knew the step he was about to take. To be vulnerable. To give a shit about someone else for the first time in forever.

“So, what brought you here?” He said, as if he said those words before, the words rolling naturally off of his tongue not from an 11 year old, but someone who’s carried the weight of a lifetime.

And just like that, the threads intertwined again.

ii. Adolescence; where threads cross over but never touch

“First day of senior year, Eld! I have a good feeling about this—we’re going to ace our SATs, get into the same college, and we’re going to see the world!” Petra exclaimed, swinging her backpack as they walked to school. Eld chuckled, and flicked Petra’s forehead.

“See the world, huh? With what money? I don’t remember you applying to jobs with me and Gunther over the summer, and now you’re broke.”

Petra huffed and took a playful swipe at Eld’s shoulder. “You know I was helping my dad with his business over the summer. Oruo can vouch for me, he stopped by a couple times to help us—for free, no less!” Petra smiled, thinking about the laborious, but fruitful summer that her family had thanks to everyone’s hard work. Her dad’s hardware business was small compared to the big box stores, but their customers appreciated the charm and personalized customer care that the Ral’s offered. “He’s really grown up, hasn’t he? In grade school he wouldn’t be caught doing something without recognition, and I don’t even know if he mentioned to you two that he was helping out Fridays and Saturdays.”

“Hmm, yeah I guess you could say that,” Eld mused, shaking his head internally at Petra’s obliviousness. She, along with him, were usually the perceptive ones in their little friend group, but he supposed being childhood friends blinded her to certain things, like Oluo’s long time crush on her. Sure, he flirted with her, but he flirted with everyone, and it wasn’t until their sophomore year of high school that he started wanting to seriously date only Petra, but she took his advances as one of a matured best friend and less as a guy in love with his best friend. Eld wondered how involved he should get, maybe doing Oluo a favor and dropping a few hints to Petra that Oluo was a great guy despite his arrogance, and he has come along way since their freshman year.

But, the blond knew that Petra’s feelings for Oluo would remain as best friends, and after her most recent breakup with some guy who seemed like a short stint for junior prom and as a member of the girl’s soccer team, she couldn’t very well go alone…well, it wasn’t a surprise they parted ways shortly after prom.

She confided in Eld that she wanted to start college fresh and with new opportunities, and she would be damned if she let a guy decide her future. It wasn’t like she was going to turn down a date from a cute guy, but she wanted to be very clear that it wouldn’t be more than a few casual dates. Besides, she said to Eld and Gunther, one hazy summer evening when they were eating ice cream at the county fair, who needs a significant other when they all had each other? They then raucously toasted with their popsicles in the air to their future, wherever it took them, and love be damned!

[veliseraptor]

Hey Lise, I was wondering if you could maybe just give me a quick and dirty synopsis of The Untamed characters? I really like your fics and wanna read them, but I have NO idea who anyone is hahaha

I was gonna like. Link to someone else’s rundown of this, but then I decided it might be fun to write my own, which was a mistake. But I make all kinds of mistakes! So unsurprising.

This is going to, by virtue of being a character overview, contain spoilers, so if you think you’re gonna want to watch and want to avoid spoilers then watch out for that. This is also broken down by sect because that makes it easier.

The degree to which I explain the plot here varies wildly and I’m not actually sure how coherent it is. If you want a more detailed rundown that has pictures and shit and also other information, see here; also some of these characters have more than one name, which I’ve noted where the usage of multiple names is likely to pop up in fic.

This is very much QUICK and DIRTY and NOT COMPREHENSIVE, just to underline that a few times. It’s also show focused rather than novel focused, because that’s most of the canon I’m working with. I have also not translated titles here (Hanguang-jun, Zewu-jun etc.) because they just sound better untranslated.

THE JIANG SECT

Wei Wuxian: Also known as Wei Ying or (if you’re nasty) the Yiling Patriarch. One of the two main characters of the show. He died (killed himself) in disgrace, universally reviled as evil, but it’s okay, he got better. Or rather, his soul got swapped into the body of a man named Mo Xuanyu, whose life really sucked and who almost never gets acknowledged by the narrative. Sunshine boy on the outside, but it’s complicated. 

Sort of invented necromancy, or at least perfected it. Will kill you with his magic ghost flute, but mostly only if you deserve it. Mostly. Self-sacrificing to a fault due to basement level self-worth and a tendency to believe that he can handle things other people can’t. Swapped out his ability to do magic to keep his brother alive via nonconsensual surgery. This had a lot of somewhat unexpected consequences, it turns out. Got thrown into a very bad place called the Burial Mounds and came out with new powers and a whole new pile of trauma.

Rescues the Wen remnants from being killed in a prison camp after the war against the Wen Sect; this is not a popular move. Founds a commune with them in the aforementioned Burial Grounds. Also raises Wen Ning from the not-dead. 

Adopted older brother (ish) to Jiang Cheng and younger brother to Jiang Yanli, adopted father to Lan Sizhui, eventual husband to Lan Wangji (at least according to novel canon and many, many post-canon fics).

Jiang Cheng: Also known as Jiang Wanyin, but only if he’s being a little bitch. He technically has a title (Sandu Shengshou) but I don’t remember if it’s ever actually used in the show. The youngest of the triad of Yunmeng Siblings (Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng, and Jiang Yanli), and possibly the most dysfunctional. Expresses all his feelings as anger, and he has a lot of feelings. Abandonment issues and inferiority complex the size of the lake that he grew up on. His entire family died and it fucked him up pretty bad, along with all the other terrible shit that happened. 100% Slytherin especially in terms of “protect my own people first and probably nobody else second.” 

Adopted younger brother to Wei Wuxian, biological younger brother to Jiang Yanli. Uncle to Jin Ling (see below). 

Jiang Yanli: I’ll take “oldest daughter who doubled as parent figure” for 500, Alex. Jiang Yanli is relatively quiet and mild-mannered but she loves her brothers very much and will throw down for them in a pinch. Tends to wilt in the face of people treating her poorly; not very good at standing up for herself. A professional at taking care of other people and not herself (Wei Wuxian and she have this in common!). She dies and it really does a number on her siblings.

Oldest sister of Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng, wife of Jin Zixuan, mother of Jin Ling.

Jiang Fengmian & Yu Ziyuan: Parents of Jiang Yanli and Jiang Cheng and source of the above’s dysfunction, in a lot of ways. Jiang Fengmian plays favorites (with his adopted son Wei Wuxian) and takes out his feelings about his wife (complicated) by ignoring Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli. Madame Yu is straight up abusive; physically of Wei Wuxian, emotionally of everyone else. In her first appearance she walks into dinner and specifically targets everyone’s weak spots, demolishing three children emotionally in about two minutes, then leaves.

This family! It’s a disaster.

THE LAN SECT

Lan Wangji: Also known as Lan Zhan or Hanguang-jun. The other main character. Has a reputation for being very upright and righteous and rule-abiding; is that, sort of, but also kind of a socially awkward, deeply lonely boy who is trying to be a good person and thinks he can get there by following the right rules. Eventually figures out that’s not how it works. Doesn’t make friends easily but when he loves someone it is with all 500% of his heart. 

His circle of people is very small, though. It’s kind of just two: his brother and Wei Wuxian. That’s all! Lan Wangji could use some friends, maybe.

He’s good! Also learns to rebel when appropriate, and “appropriate” especially involves things having to do with Wei Wuxian, for whom he will do just about anything, at least after he comes back from the dead. Before that it’s a little harder. 

Younger brother of Lan Xichen, nephew of Lan Qiren, adopted father of Lan Sizhui, eventual husband to Wei Wuxian (see above).

Lan Xichen: Also known as Zewu-jun. He does have a birth name (everyone does!) but it doesn’t get used in canon. Also parented his younger brother (there’s a lot of sibling parents in this show!). Is the peacemaker, does not like conflict, diplomatic to a fault. Noticed how everyone else is very quick to jump to conclusions and decided he has to take all of the giving of the benefit of the doubt and good faith and “let’s wait and see and not jump to murder” because no one else is going to.

People in fandom give him a lot of shit for being stupid but he is not! He is just conflict-averse and cautious and inclined to reserve judgment on people. It just turns out that he happens to place his faith in the wrong person, which is to say Jin Guangyao. It does not work out. He ends up getting tricked/manipulated into killing Jin Guangyao by Nie Huaisang, and is about to stay and die with him when Jin Guangyao surprise pushes him away and thus saves his life. 

At least one of the Lan brothers gets a happy ending!

Older brother of Lan Wangji, nephew of Lan Qiren, sworn brother/boyfriend of Jin Guangyao and Nie Mingjue.

Lan Qiren: Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen’s uncle who essentially raised them due to family dysfunction involving a mother who was basically on house arrest (because she killed someone??? not sure what happened there, information minimal) and their father seems to have been absent, and both died before series start. Rigid and hidebound, very much not a Wei Wuxian fan, very strict with both the Lan brothers and sometimes that involves corporal punishment and yelling.

There are no good parents or parent figures in this series.

Uncle to Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen.

Lan Sizhui: Also known as A-Yuan / Wen Yuan. Originally a Wen kid, first adopted by Wei Wuxian when he founded the commune with the Wen remnants, then adopted by Lan Wangji when everyone in his family was killed and also Wei Wuxian. Grew up a Lan with no memory of his past. Lan Sizhui has two dads.

Cousin/brother (??) to Wen Ning and Wen Qing, adopted son of Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian.

Lan Jingyi: Sassmaster extraordinaire; the Lan kid who gets to say everything the rest of the Lans are holding back. Of the younger generation quartet formed by him, Lan Sizhui, Ouyang Zizhen, and Jin Ling. If a Lan kid in a scene is sassing someone, it’s Jingyi.

THE NIE SECT

Nie Mingjue: Also known as Chifeng-zun. Very strong opinions about right and wrong with not a whole lot of room for nuance. Formidable warrior. Anger issues, also daddy issues but we don’t get into those as much. Not exactly the friendliest of fellows but it’s not completely his fault, he’s being gradually poisoned by the malevolence of his own weapon. It’s a thing. Dies as a result of being poisoned by evil music courtesy of Jin Guangyao.

Sworn brother/boyfriend to Lan Xichen and Jin Guangyao. Older brother of Nie Huaisang.

Nie Huaisang: Mastermind (sort of) of questionable morality, sometimes in order to get revenge for the murder of your older brother you have to wait ten years while building up a reputation as someone utterly useless, then get your old best friend resurrected as part of a series of dominoes meant to demolish your brother’s murderer’s entire life and reputation. Loves art and fans, not a fan of losing his mind to violent sabers as is traditional for the Nie Sect. Smarter than he wants you to think he is, and also just really good at winging it.

Younger brother of Nie Mingjue.

THE JIN SECT

Jin Guangshan: The actual worst. Sect Leader for the first half of the show. Should’ve been kicked down several sets of stairs; the world would’ve been a better place.

Father of Jin Zixuan, Jin Guangyao, Mo Xuanyu, and too many other bastards to list. Possibly Jin Zixun? I’m not clear on that.

Jin Zixuan: Disaster Straight. He comes off as aloof and arrogant but partly this is because he’s just really bad at interacting with people and incredibly awkward. Eventually marries Jiang Yanli after failing to express his feelings for 26 episodes. Shortly thereafter ends up dying when he’s fisted by Wen Ning (through the chest, you filthy animal). 

Husband of Jiang Yanli, father of Jin Ling.

Jin Zixun: The other actual worst. When Jin Zixun is having fun no one else is, and when Jin Zixun is not having fun no one else is either. Just generally a tool. As far as I can tell has no redeeming qualities. His ambush of Wei Wuxian provokes the rolling disaster that results ultimately in the deaths of (in order) Jin Zixuan, Wen Qing, Jiang Yanli, and Wei Wuxian. 

Cousin of Jin Zixuan.

Jin Guangyao: Also known as Meng Yao and Lianfang-zun, the former before he gets promoted by his absolute bastard of a dad. He’s complicated! A good boy, also responsible for a lot of the bad things that happen, with varying degrees of culpability depending on who you ask. Son of a (in everyone’s words, ever) prostitute, and he’s really got a problem with it. Made some valid points but also got possibly too much revenge on people who hurt him, including some preemptive revenge on people who might have. Does a lot of murder but mostly via other people or evil music. Gets kicked down the stairs twice, which if you ask me is a pretty good reason to be kinda worked up about things.

His hat is very silly and I will not pretend otherwise.

Dies at the end and it’s real sad, if you ask me. Incredibly gay for Lan Xichen, and who can blame him? 

Son of Jin Guangshan, half brother of Jin Zixuan, sworn brother/boyfriend of Lan Xichen and Nie Mingjue. 

Jin Ling: Part of the quartet of juniors including Lan Sizhui, Lan Jingyi, and Ouyang Zizhen. A mess of a child. (Half)-raised by Jiang Cheng and it shows. Spoiled brat but also just like. Brimming with loneliness and desperation for someone’s approval. 

Son of Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan, grandson of Jin Guangshan, nephew of Jiang Cheng and Jin Guangyao (and Wei Wuxian, and Mo Xuanyu, and too many other bastards to name, he’s got a lot of uncles). 

Mianmian / Luo Qingyang: Mostly known as Mianmian, which is her nickname. She’s technically a servant but Jin Zixuan is her best friend. Ditches the Jin Sect when they start being jackasses about Wei Wuxian in a seriously epic mic drop moment. Actually lives to the end of the show which makes one female character!

THE WEN SECT

Wen Ruohan: The first Big Bad of the show. Pursuing world domination by the power of the Yin Iron, aka evil metal that lets you control corpses. It doesn’t go well for him. 

Dies at the hands of Jin Guangyao - going, at the time, by Meng Yao.

Father of Wen Xu and Wen Chao.

Wen Xu: The oldest son of Wen Ruohan; he barely appears but he does exist. Or did, he doesn’t make it very long.

Wen Chao: Absolute worm of a human being. Like Draco Malfoy in early Harry Potter, but with more killing people. Dies an absolutely horrifying death courtesy of Wei Wuxian, but he did throw Wei Wuxian into a place he was supposed to horribly die in, so I don’t feel that bad for him. 

Younger son of Wen Ruohan.

Wen Qing: Incredibly gifted physician, can probably fix anything, including transferring a golden core from one person to another which no one has ever done before. (That’s how Wei Wuxian’s ended up in Jiang Cheng.) Starts out as determinedly loyal to Wen Ruohan basically to protect Wen Ning and keep him safe, but keeps ending up helping our protagonists basically against her better judgment. This does not earn her any points with the Wens, and being a Wen does not earn her any points with anyone else. 

Ends up getting swept up by Wei Wuxian when he finds her destitute in the street and they charge off to save her brother together. Subsequently lives in the Burial Mounds commune up until things go to shit and she goes to give herself up with Wen Ning in the hopes of mitigating damage after Jin Zixuan dies. She is executed.

Has a non-thing with Jiang Cheng because they’re very alike in ways that mean that, under the circumstances, they keep missing each other.

Older sister of Wen Ning, sister/cousin (??) of Lan Sizhui, adopted older sister of Wei Wuxian, sort of.

Wen Ning: Also known as Wen Qionglin, but like, once in canon. So you probably won’t see it much. Neither he nor his sister are actually related to Wen Ruohan - they’re from a branch of the family but serve him. Wen Ning doesn’t get to have a lot of nice things. He saves Wei Wuxian’s life (after Wei Wuxian saves his), and (along with Wen Qing) helps get Jiang Cheng out when he was captured by the Wens and protects Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng, and Jiang Yanli after their family and sect are killed. 

After the Sunshot Campaign he is killed by Jin cultivators (or almost, it’s complicated) but brought back to unlife by Wei Wuxian. Unfortunately this makes him vulnerable to control to make him do things like, say, kill Jin Zixuan and Jin Zixun. He and Wen Qing go to be presumably executed in an attempt to mitigate the damage to Wei Wuxian/maybe?? save his life; Wen Ning gets kept in a dungeon for sixteen years and comes back when Wei Wuxian does. 

Younger brother of Wen Qing. brother/cousin (??) of Lan Sizhui, adopted younger brother of Wei Wuxian, sort of.

Wen Zhuliu: Mysterious assassin/bodyguard of the Wens, we know almost nothing about his backstory save that he owes them some kind of debt and he and Yu Ziyuan seem to have some kind of history. The main thing is that he’s capable of destroying the golden core of cultivators, aka rendering them an ordinary person devoid of special powers, forever. Gets killed by Jiang Cheng, whose golden core he destroyed. 

Various Wen Remnants: You don’t get a lot of individual characterization from these folks - basically they are the remains of the Wen Sect after the Wen Sect is defeated in the war (called the Sunshot Campaign) that forms the arc of the first part of the show. Pretty much everyone wants them dead. Wei Wuxian rescues them and takes them off to the Burial Mounds, where no one else wants to go, and builds a commune with them, which works for a while until it doesn’t anymore.

They all die. It’s bad.

YI CITY CREW

These got long because I felt like I had to explain more about plot stuff.

Xue Yang: The gremlin! Will cheerfully murder just about anyone at the drop of a hat, he doesn’t really need a reason. Driven initially by a revenge quest for the guy who crushed his finger when he was seven; he kills his whole family, which is a reasonable response when you think of your own life as worth significantly more than anyone else’s. Subsequently and also during fixated on Xiao Xingchen. Kind of a genius?? but he’s pretty low key about it.

Really involved with the plot in a lot of weird ways. Introduced Wen Ruohan to the Yin Iron and taught him how it functioned-ish, worked with Jin Guangyao for a while on necromancy stuff, after the inevitable betrayal ended up getting picked up by a now blind Xiao Xingchen (more on that later) and a-Qing, and lived with them in domestic semi-bliss for three years while also tricking Xiao Xingchen into murdering a lot of people, up to and including his sort-of-ex-boyfriend Song Lan. Turned Song Lan into a zombie, sort of. Fell apart when Xiao Xingchen died (killed himself, on account of Xue Yang demolishing his entire life, whoops) and spent the next decade or so trying to bring him back from the dead.

Dies messily, as you might guess, and I’m still sad about it.

Xiao Xingchen: Grew up on a secret mountain isolated from the rest of society, came down from the secret mountain to help make the world a better place, it really does not work out for him. Travels around for a while being best friends/boyfriends with Song Lan, getting poetry written about him; unfortunately then he and Xue Yang run into each other which is widely regarded as a bad move. Things get messy, Xiao Xingchen ends up with his eyes in Song Lan’s head and blind, he adopts a teenage con artist (see below) and rescues Xue Yang (who he doesn’t know is Xue Yang). 

Three years of domestic bliss (sort of) ensue, with the wrinkle that while Xiao Xingchen’s sword Shuanghua can sense corpses so he can still hunt things, it has a glitch where sometimes the corpses it senses are in fact living people that Xue Yang has poisoned and cut out their tongues. Whoops. 

After he kills Song Lan (whoops), Xiao Xingchen finds out from a-Qing who he’s been living with and, uh, is upset about it. Xue Yang drops the bomb of “oh yeah so you’ve been killing people this whole time and also! yeah! killed Song Lan too! eyyyy” upon which Xiao Xingchen, his entire world wrecked, kills himself and shatters his soul.

He ends the series basically fragments of soul in a little pouch being carried around by Song Lan. When I put it that way it sounds kinda funny but it’s really not.

A-Qing: Teenage con-artist who pretends to be blind and adopts Xiao Xingchen after stealing his money (he notices, but he also just gives it to her). Knew Xue Yang was bad news but didn’t know how bad. Smart cookie. Xue Yang blinds her and cuts out her tongue (he just loves doing that) after she tells on him to Xiao Xingchen; she gets her revenge by leading Wei Wuxian & co. to figuring out what’s going on, and ultimately enabling the first mortal-wounding of Xue Yang. 

Unfortunately, also dies.

Song Lan: Also known as Song Zichen, rarely. A Daoist priest (I think that’s right?) and “rogue cultivator” (in the sense that he’s not affiliated with any sect). He is definitely affiliated with Xiao Xingchen. “Affiliated with.”

Ends up getting caught in the vortex of Xue Yang when his entire temple-family is killed and he’s blinded; says some harsh things and a guilty Xiao Xingchen trades out his eyes to pay him back for being the cause of Xue Yang targeting his temple, then vanishes. Song Lan spends the next long time trying to track him down, eventually finds him in mid-domestic bliss (sort of) with Xue Yang (yikes), promptly attempts to kill Xue Yang, ends up getting his tongue cut out and himself corpse-poisoned and killed by Xiao Xingchen, who thinks he is a random evil corpse instead of his best friend/ex-boyfriend. Xue Yang turns him into a zombie controlled by him. He gets better (from the control, he’s still a zombie).

Literally the only one of the Yi City Crew to make it out alive and he’s not technically alive.

MISCELLANEOUS OTHERS

Ouyang Zizhen: Part of the juniors quartet with Jin Ling, Lan Sizhui, and Lan Jingyi. A budding romantic. Very good, has the misfortune of having Sect Leader Ouyang as a dad, but at least it’s not Sect Leader Yao (see below).

Su She: Due to a confluence of factors having to do with jealousy but also class/rigid hierarchy issues, ends up as Jin Guangyao’s right hand henchman. He’s very loyal when you’re actually nice to him. Really doesn’t like Lan Wangji. 

Sect Leader Yao: Mostly just there to have really bad opinions all of the time.

[jennifcrs]

* scarlett leithold, cisfemale + she/her  | you know jennifer cohen, right? they’re twenty four, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, seven years? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to body by megan thee stallion like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that dancing like everyone’s watching, freshly tousled blonde hair, writing on a mirror in lipstick thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is july 5th, so they’re a cancer, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( lyndsay, 24, est, she/her ) (pinterest)

(abortion; tw) (pregnancy; tw)

background (tw; abortion)

jen was mostly raised by her mother in small town in new jersey. she had a pretty normal childhood but never felt like she got the attention she needed from her parents. following their bitter divorce, her mom had a revolving door of boyfriends in and out of the apartment and her dad was preoccupied with his new family.

eventually she started to look for that attention and acceptance elsewhere. she dove headfirst into the social scene at her school–started cheerleading, going to parties, dating–and she quickly realized that attention really wasn’t that hard to come by. in fact, it was pretty easy. especially from the guys

she’d always been boy-crazy but the awakening of her sexuality in high school showed her just how addictive it could be to feel desired. she began thriving on sexual attention, dressing provocatively and acting the part for her dose of validation

but the more her reputation grew, the more validation she seemed to need. it became a vicious cycle, and not one without its consequences.

getting pregnant was hardly the biggest deal–it wasn’t the 50s and she’d been an accident herself–but she there was no way in hell she was having a kid. her mother went with her to planned parenthood and it was sorted out quickly, but not before the ‘friends’ she’d confided in made sure everyone knew.

the punishment hardly seemed to fit the crime, but the ensuing scandal was enough for her to move in with her dad that she barely knew and his family down in north carolina. she only had one year left of school anyway.

she’s had a bit of a chip on her shoulder ever since. after graduation she stayed in the area for college and with her self-worth in tatters she fell right back into the pattern of letting people’s expectations and her own craving for acceptance control her.

she often felt like her behavior was completely out of her control, that she couldn’t stop herself from the choices that brought her instant gratification, especially where sex was concerned. even knowing she wake up with regret, she couldn’t bring herself to stop indulging

her grades weren’t great and her friendships, of which there were many, were surface at best–she drove most people away–but she survived despite the terrible decisions along the way.

though she planned to move back north, perhaps working in nyc one day, she’d gotten comfortable enough and found a job that paid well enough to keep her from making the leap.

she’d started as an intern and worked her way up in corporate event planning for a prestigious firm. she tries not to think about whether or not she got the job based on merit or… connections. but regardless, she’s good at what she does and doesn’t hate schmoozing with the wealthy at cocktail parties.

still, she’s restless and looking for more, which has perhaps kept her from outgrowing her lust for drama.

personality

jenny is deeply insecure and most of her life revolves around seeking acceptance and validation.

never says no 

she is extremely flirtatious and would never turn down a hookup.

she’s a lot of fun and definitely knows how to ensure everyone is having a good time. There isn’t a person she wouldn’t talk to. Extroverted to the extreme.

A huge gossip. She’s nosy and likes knowing everyone’s business, but she also likes passing that information along. Isn’t the best at keeping secrets but CAN. Sometimes.

She can be a little short-tempered and defensive. If you poke at something she’s touchy about, she turns feral. Can also be a little confrontational.

Sometimes she grapples with needing to feel in control and can be prone to starting petty arguments or stirring up trouble to sate that. she tests boundaries and provokes reactions.

would also never miss an event–you can find her in the middle of the dance floor making sure all eyes are on her, at bottomless brunch most sundays, or even at a local poetry reading if she heard enough buzz about it

She can be pretty selfish and inconsiderate of others

She can be self-destructive. She has a tendency to push people away and test boundaries.

tldr;

24 year old slutty lil cancer from nj who moved her senior year of hs to NC, currently works in event planning, and is the life of the party, lives for validation, has self-destructive tendencies and is starting to realize she might be more fucked than she though. great for a fun time, working on the rest. 

Feel free to message me for plots! I’m open to and eager for anything you think might work for our characters! Otherwise, I love exploring chemistry and seeing what happens!

[raysofcrosby]

LITTLE DO YOU KNOW PT. 9

"𝘐 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘩𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘢 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘺 𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘴, 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘵 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘬𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘵 𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦." ━ 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐚𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐨𝐧, 𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫

gif credit (x)

series masterlist

requested: yes | no

warnings: cussing and angst, but nothing else tbh.

word count: 5,294 [of un-proofread material lol sorry]

authors note: HI EVERYONE!!! First off, I just want to wish you all a Happy Holiday season! I honestly didn’t think i was going to get anything out, but work has been extremely stressful and i needed to write and voila, part 9 lmfao. there’s only three more parts of the series left and i can’t believe it’s almost over! thank you to anyone who’s reblogged, liked, sent in a message, written in their tags or even took the time to read any part of this series– i love you all. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you all! I hope you all have an amazing day and enjoy part 9!

Avoiding Jamie and Tyler after the shitshow that took place in Tyler's house Friday night, was your number one priority. Thankfully, the Stars were out of town in Nashville and weren't due to come back to Dallas until early Sunday morning. You weren't sure if Tyler still wanted you to watch the dogs, so the next morning after everything happened, you took an uber to his place. When you walked inside to feed the dogs and take them on their walk, they were nowhere to be found. You walked around the house, whistling and even going as far as to squeaking Gerry's favorite toy– but no sound of paws against the floor or the jingling of their collars. When you went to leave, the front door opened and John walked in, holding onto the three dogs' leashes. He looked surprised to see you and the moment the two of you made eye contact, you realized that he knew.

And it was obvious that your dog sitting services were no longer needed, so you rushed back to campus and practically locked yourself in a library study room, throwing yourself into studying for your last final.

If you thought back on it hard enough, you weren't sure if that was the final straw that jutted the metaphorical knife deeper into your stomach or what happened Sunday night when Big Rig came over. You had once again, spent the entire day throwing yourself into studying for your finals and by the time you returned back to your dorm room, Kennedy was ordering dinner in for her and Big Rig.

You hadn't meant to completely shut her out, but you honestly felt a little embarrassed at how everything came crumbling down. Tyler had yet to reach out, he pretty much fired you from taking care of the dogs, you're pretty sure that your brother pretty much disowned you...and Kennedy, though not as straight-forward, had warned you of it all. The last thing you wanted to do was feel worse than you did now...though that logic isn't working, because well, you were feeling pretty shitty.

Kennedy was your best friend for a reason and she knew better than anyone that when you were ready to talk about it all, you would. So, unfortunately for her, but lucky for you, she was dealing with your sadness with grace– aka by not complaining when you had your playlist blasting through your headphones or not commenting on how you were watching the notebook one too many a time.

By the time Big Rig had arrived at your dorm, you had shut off your computer for the night, buried yourself beneath the covers, rolled yourself towards the wall and had been trying to fall asleep for almost an hour. You thought that you'd be able to eventually fall asleep, maybe while they were just going to watch Criminal Minds and eat some dinner, but the moment that their hushed whispers grew a little louder, there was no hope.

"How is she doing?" He asked, talking softly as he kicked his shoes off onto the floor and hopped onto her bed, his tall and heavy frame causing it to buckle beneath him.

"Honestly? Not so good. " Kennedy sighed and you could feel her gaze lingering on your back. "Neither Jamie or Tyler have talked to her. She's been either spending all her time studying, blasting sad breakup songs, skimming through The Notebook or sleeping."

"Oh shit...The Notebook?"

Kennedy was silent but climbed onto her bed as Big Rig shifted and unloaded the delivery bag. "I even called her mom earlier, just to give her a heads up before she came home for Christmas in case she notices that two of her kids aren't talking. And then right after, Jordie reached out to me because Y/N wasn't answering him and neither was Jamie. So, I filled him in too."

You couldn't even be angry at her for the fact that she told both your mom and Jordie about what had happened. Firstly, the two of them already had some sort of clue as to what was going on between you and Tyler. Secondly, once again, she was just being your best friend and looking out for your best interest– plus now you didn't have to have that awkward conversation once you went home.

"Yeah, Jamie's uh..." Big Rig cleared his throat and you could tell that he was either trying to avoid talking about something or just trying to figure out how to say it.

"Was it bad yesterday?"

"Horrible," he sighed and shifted on the bed again, probably lying back. "Everyone knows."

"Everyone knows?" She asked, the confusion in her voice evident. "As in...they know about Y/N and Tyler?"

"They know everything."

"Jesus Christ! Is Jamie that fucking petty and pissed that he went and blabbered about it to the whole team?" She caught her voice elevating and stopped, placing their food off to the side. "I'm going to kill him. What an asshole and to do that to his own–"

"It wasn't Jamie."

"Then who–"

"Well, I mean, Bish was with Jamie when he...walked in on the two of them, so Jamie told Bish– but he already kind of had a feeling because Jamie said something about it." Big Rig cleared his throat again. "But no, it was some fan account on Instagram for wags, I guess?"

"Explain, now."

You heard him sigh and you contemplated making it known that you were wide awake, but you had to admit to yourself that you were a little bit interested.

"So it some small fan account for wags of the team, I guess. Anyway, so they make a post and they have pictures of Y/N and Tyler from nights we all went to the bar, to pictures of him picking her up from A.B.C. and even his Halloween party. It was like... spam of almost 10 pictures and you can see how close they are and it's not hard to guess that they have something going on."

"Okay, and how does this tie into the whole team finding out?"

"Everyone got tagged in it. Players, girlfriends, wives, I think even Tyler's family and Y/N too. By the time the plane took off, it was kind of common knowledge."

Your heart was racing against your chest and it felt like it could explode at any minute. Everyone on the team and their significant others knew, which meant the coaches and training staff probably knew. How the hell were you supposed to show your face in the locker room tomorrow without wanting to just disappear into thin air?

"Shit, this is pretty much Worst-case scenario. How is she supposed to walk into a room and treat them all for their weak bones when they all know about her and Tyler?" Kennedy sighed her gaze on you.

"I mean...I don't think anyone judges her for it, because she's still Y/N to them, you know?"

"It doesn't matter, J. Even if she's still just Y/N, they'll still probably look at her and think– 'oh wow, she's been boning our teammate. there's another notch on the belt.' And I know they're your friends, but with Tyler's reputation and all males sharing the same brain– you can't tell me that it's not true."

Big Rig was silent for a few moments before deciding to speak again. "The game was even worse. He and Tyler are barely speaking, the tension between them on the ice was obvious as hell. Add in the confusion with Montgomery being fired and the Instagram was the cherry on top of a Sunday that nobody wants."

"Was it that bad? The two of them?"

"A few of the guys and I were talking on the plane ride back and we're all afraid that something is going to happen at practice or in the middle of a game or something and the tension between them with just make the two of them implode."

"And that would be another worst-case scenario come true," Kennedy sighed again. "God, this is such a mess."

That was all you were able to stand before you sat yourself up and turned towards the two of them. You took in their shocked appearances and you knew that they had thought you were asleep and that if you weren't they wouldn't have had this entire conversation with you in the room.

"I'm sorry," you said, your bottom lip starting to tremble no matter how hard you tried to fight it. "It's all my fault that everything is so messed up because I'm just some stupid little girl with a stupid crush and I ruined a friendship and your team chemistry."

Kennedy looked at Big Rig and got up off of her bed and walked over to your bed. "This is in no way, shape or form your fault, Y/N. I want you to get that through your head right now. " She grabbed one of your hands and tugged on it, causing you to look at her. "Tyler is a big boy, he knew what he was doing and he knew the consequences of his actions. So you are not going to put the full blame on yourself."

"She's right," Big Rig spoke up, sitting up in her bed. "Besides, I don't think that they hate each other. I just think that Jamie is probably a little bit embarrassed because he feels like everyone knew what was going on and he didn't. Especially since Jordie and Bish both had their suspicions about it."

"See?" Kennedy smiled, squeezing your hand again. "Your big brother is just letting his itty bitty man pride get in the way of his common sense."

"He probably also thinks that Tyler was taking advantage of you," he cleared his throat, and his cheeks turned a hint of pink at his insinuation of yours and Tyler's relationship. "Especially since he's older and that Jamie trusted him to be like a brother to you whenever he wasn't around."

As comforting as they tried to make their words, they did nothing but only make you feel worse and that you were responsible for everything that had happened. You sniffled and shook your head, looking at the two of them. "I don't think I can finish the internship, not when everybody knows."

Kennedy was about to say something, only to be cut off by the sound of Big Rig's feet thumping against the floor. He had hopped off of the bed and nudged Kennedy to the side, standing in front of you. He tilted your chin up and made you look at him, seriousness written all over his face. "Absolutely fucking not. You are not going to let some tatted doofus make you quit, okay? This is your dream and as your second best friend, I'll be damned if I let you quit, got it?"

"Got it." You smiled and nodded as Kennedy reached in and wiped a tear from your cheek.

Big Rig smiled and patted the side of your cheek. "Good, now come eat some of this food with us."

❒❒❒❒

It turns out that your little bonding night with Big Rig and Kennedy was exactly what you needed. It wasn't a magical cure to fix everything, but it made you fall asleep a little easier that night. And when you woke up the next morning, you were ready to take on your last final just before you'd head off to the arena for the game. When you sat down to take your final, you felt confident in yourself and slightly more relaxed and at ease than you had been the last two days. However, that all changed the moment your Physiology and Anatomy final was placed in front of you and the time to take your test began. It was smooth sailing up until halfway through when you came upon a question that brought out a memory from your many study sessions with Tyler.

For this particular question, you had to identify and label abdominopelvic quadrants, then their divisions, as well as the planes of the body. And the moment you stared at the outlined body and the lines waiting to be filled and identified, your eyes brimmed with tears at the memory of Tyler.

How when you walked into his house that afternoon and ready to study, he was already making the two of you lunch– 'brain food for my brainiac!' And when it came time to label the quadrants and planes, you realized you had forgotten the sheet your professor had given you, at your dorm. Tyler, being as brazen as he was, stood up off of the couch, took off his shirt, held out his arms to his sides, looked at you with a crooked, goofy grin and said, 'go ahead, paint on me like one of your french boys.' And when you corrected him on what the actual movie quote was supposed to be, he just stuck his tongue out at you and said, 'turn me into a masterpiece.' And it took every bit of self-restraint that you had in your body to refrain from telling him that he already was.

When you wrapped up your final and started to make your way to your dorm room to meet Big Rig so the two of you could head to the arena, your next big dilemma crossed your mind: all of the dorms were closing in two days and you had nowhere to stay. You were originally supposed to stay with Jamie and Katie at his place until the two of you were going to fly home together, but you doubt that's an option anymore. But that was another problem for another day and you weren't going to worry about it until later because your only important issue today, would be how you would carry on in the training room today.

When it came time to enter the training room, Big Rig offered to walk in with you, but you told him that if you were going to do this, you would do it yourself and then you ushered him off towards the locker room. You expected your feet to move towards the door and open it before walking inside, but the longer you stared at it, the more frozen you were. You could hear the muffled voices mingling together on the other side of the door, which only made your heart race and the knot in your stomach tangle and tightens. The locker room door opened behind you and you froze, hoping that it wasn't Jamie or Tyler.

"You're still standing here?"

You turned to look at Big Rig, who was now dressed down from his suit and wearing some shorts and a shirt. "You act like I've been standing here for ten minutes."

"Try five, Y/N." He sighed and walked ahead of you, pushing the door halfway open and turning to you, nodding his head towards the door. "Come on, if there's one person who's one-hundred percent on your side, it's me."

You wanted to run into him and hug him tight, but you settled with thanking the Universe for sending Jamie Oleksiak your way before you followed him into the training room. As expected, the immediate conversation stalls, but only for a short second before it picks back up again. And if you weren't so focused on noticing any kind of difference, you might not have noticed that it paused at all. One thing that was extremely obvious though, was the way that all of the boys were looking at you. Sure, they were friendly, that's their character– but you could still see it in every pair of eyes, the fact that they knew about you and Tyler.

And you couldn't help but feel like they were judging you for it.

Klinger was the first one to come up to you while you were preparing Big Rig for his stretches, and you just had an overwhelming urge to hug the swede, but you resisted. "How did your final go, Y/N?" He asked, stopping by and leaning against the table Big Rig was sitting on.

It felt like things might ease back into normality, just based on his normal question and the conversations going on around you– it was like a weight off of your shoulders. "I bet that you aced it," Big Rig said, poking at you with his foot. "You're the genius Benn after all. You and Jenny must have the brains because I don't know what Jordie and Jamie got."

Right, when you went to reply, the door opened and on instinct, you turned to see who walked in. When you saw it was Jamie, it was as if every eye in the room was focused on the two of you. Jamie didn't bother to look your way, making his way over to the cabinet to grab some ibuprofen. "How did your final go?" He asked, his back turned to you and his voice void of any emotion.

"I think I did pretty good," you replied, feeling awkward as he kept his back to you before turning away and walking over towards another table, not even bothering to reply. You turned your attention to Klinger and gave him a small smile. "Thank you for asking, Klinger." You spoke softly.

He gave you a nod and patted your shoulder before going off back into the locker room. Everything felt fine and the awkward tension eased slightly as you went on helping Big Rig with his stretches. Sure, because of Jamie's presence, there was still a slight stir on tension as if everyone was expecting the two of you to implode right then and there– but it wasn't anything that couldn't be easily ignored. However, when the door opened again, this time Tyler walked through and it was like the air was sucked out of the room.

You felt yourself freeze as you went to adjust the band around Big Rig's foot and he tapped his foot against your hand, causing you to look at him. He took a deep breath and then breathed out slowly before nodding his head. You nodded back, still feeling everyone's eyes switching between focusing on you and focusing on Tyler. After you adjusted the band, you went over to your desk, instinctively picking up athletic tape before sitting down in your chair, waiting for someone else to ask for help.

"Hey, John, how long do you think you'll be?" Tyler asked, barely brushing by Jamie to grab a heating pad before pacing it onto his shoulder.

"What do you want done?" John replied, looking up from a separate cabinet.

"My ankles?"

"Give me two and I can help."

Tyler nodded, adjusting the heating pad before walking right back out of the locker room, not even bothering to look in your direction. You were crushed and fighting like hell not to have it show on your face as you sat in your chair, gripping the athletic tape tightly. Soon, tapping your foot against the floor became another way to prevent yourself from giving in to your emotions and before you knew it, Bishop was calling for your attention at Big Rig's table as he hopped off. "Yeah?"

"Can you come over for a second? I need you to help me tape my thumb for me real quick." You walked over, your supplies already in hand and stood in front of the goalie. "How are you doing?"

"Good, especially now that classes are done," you smiled, exhaling lightly. "Now I get to relax...sort of."

"No, Y/N," he said, looking around the room before leaning in closer. "How are you really doing?" The way he raised an eyebrow slightly, gave you a hint as to what he was asking.

You were slightly embarrassed that he was asking you, but at least he wasn't being so blunt and loud about it. "Embarrassed, sad," your eyes lingered away from taping his thumb and over to your brother, who had a focused and zoned in look on his face. "Is disowned too dramatic?"

He laughs lightly, but his lack of answer lets you know that your feelings are completely valid. "I'm sorry by the way," you apologized, cutting the athletic tape. "For making things awkward around here."

"They're grown men, they'll figure it out," he shrugged, watching as you finished taping his thumb. "Don't worry about that, worry about you."

"Do you think I made a mistake?" You asked as he hopped off of the table.

He looks like he wants to say yes, or maybe you're just overthinking it. He shrugs his shoulders and gives you a half-smile. "Is it a mistake if it makes you happy?"

His reply lingered in your mind as you watched him leave the room before returning to your chair. You placed your supplies onto the desk and spun yourself around to face the wall, thinking about what he said and for once, not feeling all too guilty about your decision.

❒❒❒❒

You've never been happier at the fact that you had to stay in the training room during a game. You took solace in the quiet as the muffled music, announcements and cheers were on the other side of the door. Normally, you'd spend this time studying, but since you were done with all of your finals...you had nothing to do but play on your phone, make sure that the training room was clean and of course help any player who came in with something John sent them back to you for.

The game wasn't going so well the second period was almost over and Dallas was down 2-0. Kennedy was sitting with Katie and sending you updates on how Big Rig was doing, but other than that, you were too busy watching random videos on youtube. You're watching one of those astrological card reading videos when you hear the announcers muffled voices yelling about a hit, a fight and then bickering. By the time you were fully able to focus and take out the one headphone, they were done announcing it and the crowd was roaring– a mix of boos and cheers, you couldn't tell. Right when you went to go back to your video, a text message from Kennedy popped up.

"j took a high stick to the face, ty went to go fight the guy who kept trying to go back after j."

"j and ty arguing...it looks ugly."

You clicked on the message, ready to reply and ask for a more specific update when the locker room door swings open violently and Tyler walks in with a pissed look all over his face and blood on his jersey. You weren't sure if it was trainer mode, friend mode or that your feelings were coming into play, but you left your phone on your desk and ran over to him. "Holy shit, Tyler are you okay?"

He looked as if he was mumbling to himself, the anger still evident on his face as he ignored your question. "I'm just going to take your helmet off for you," you said, reaching up to grab his helmet. "Just to make sure the blood isn't coming from–"

As if he snapped back into focus, he stumbled back, looking at you. "Don't touch me!"

You were startled at how loud and angry he sounded. You've never seen him this angry outside of a hockey game, so seeing it first hand right now, was terrifying. But you needed to do your job, so you weren't backing down. "No, I need to check to make sure that your head isn’t bleeding, Tyler. So just let me–"

"Just– don't!" He said, this time glaring at you, the anger on his face still there, but the look in his eyes softening the moment they took in the slight fear on your face. "God, you're acting like...like," he waved his hand in the air as if the words he was looking for were there to catch. "Like some obsessed hook up!"

Your jaw dropped and as if he just understood the words that left his mouth, the anger started to fade off of his face and for a moment, he looked like he might apologize.

The door swung open again, this time Jamie walking in and stopping just a little into the room. His eyes took in just how close the two of you were standing together and he scoffed. "Of fucking course."

Tyler spun around and pointed at Jamie. "Oh shut the fuck up, Jamie. I stood up for your ass just now."

"You think fighting Draisaitl is sticking up for me when you're the reason why he made that fucking comment?" Jamie yelled, his voice getting deeper, something that always happened whenever he got angry. "You wouldn't have to 'stand up for me' if you were focused and knew where to pass the damn puck instead of daydreaming about getting laid!"

"Guys, stop!" You said, trying to move past Tyler to get in between the two grown men, a huge sense of deja vu washing over you. "Jamie, are you okay?"

"Oh, now you seem to care what I think? Where was this before you started sleeping with my best friend?" And there it was, the aggression pointing towards you– the real reason why he was probably upset anyway.

"I asked if you were okay, not for your fucking opinion column, Jamie." You sniped, reaching up and taking off his helmet before tossing it onto a table and going towards where the suture kit was kept so you could pull it out for whoever was coming in to stitch him up. "You have a cut on your forehead.”

"I am focused on this game, so fuck you, Jamie!"

"Really?" Jamie scoffed, shaking his head. "So you're not focused on the fact that you're gonna go home with Maisy and probably get laid tonight?"

You froze, just as you turned back with the suture kit and glue in hand– that one name sending you into a small panic. You looked to Tyler before looking at Jamie, who was just shaking his head. "Oh Y/N, you didn't know? Maisy's here. You know who Maisy is, you remember?"

Tyler shook his head. "What are you–"

"Don't even play coy, Seguin. Katie texted me before the game and said she bumped into Maisy, who coincidentally is sitting in the same seats that you got her last year."

At this point, you felt like you were going to be sick. You had asked Tyler about Maisy and he told you everything. How yeah, she was one of his main hook-ups last season, that he cut it off completely in the summer, it was never super serious and that they haven't talked since.

But Maisy was here in the same seats Tyler gave her last season and Tyler wasn't arguing back...so maybe he didn't tell you everything.

"Why is that, Tyler?" Jamie asked, raising his eyebrows. "Why is Maisy here? Did you get what you wanted from my little sister so you went back to–"

Tyler lunged at Jamie just as Craig walked into the room. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! What the hell is going on?" He asked, looking at you as the two fuming hockey players stood apart from one another.

Jamie and Tyler say nothing, only moving onto opposite tables as Craig points Jamie to sit down. "Y/N, can you help Tyler with gluing that cut? It shouldn't be too much."

It felt like your entire body was throbbing as you stood there, still trying to take in the information that Jamie just shared. You looked at Jamie who was fuming and glaring at Tyler. And when you looked at Tyler, his anger was written all over his face, but there was something else mixed in that you couldn't quite pinpoint. When you finally looked at Craig, you shook your head. "I think I'm going to be sick."

You pushed the kit into his chest before running out of the training room and down the hallway, finding the nearest restroom. When you locked yourself inside of a stall, you hunched over the toilet, the tears falling from your eyes and into the toilet bowl as the sobs wrecked you. Everything seemed like it would be okay, but what had just happened in the game tonight and in the training room– proved otherwise. There's no way you'd be able to complete this internship in one piece. You went to reach for your phone to text Kennedy, but only then did you realize that it was sitting on your desk.

There's no way you'd be able to go back into that room with Jamie and Tyler being there together– you wouldn't survive. And it turns out, bathrooms make pretty good hiding spots.

By the time you had deemed the coast to be clear, you made your way back into the training room once the third period started and you knew no one would be in it. When you walked into the empty room, you sent Kennedy a text, asking her to meet you in the hall after the game and then you spent the rest of your time wishing that the game would just end.

The Stars lost 2-1 and Tyler scored a goal in the third. Once upon a time, not too long ago, Tyler would've joked that he scored that goal for you– 'his number one fan beside his mom'– but now you couldn't help but let your mind wander over into if he ever told Maisy the same.

As promised, Kennedy met you in the hallway with Katie by her side. Katie was explaining all of last season of the Maisy and Tyler saga to you and Kennedy, but you wanted no part of it, so you zoned yourself out, staring at the end of the tunnel, wondering if you'd see her walk down this way. By the time both Jamie and Big Rig came out of the locker room, there was still no sign of Maisy and you couldn't help but wonder if she was waiting out there for Tyler or even if at all.

"Y/N, are you coming home with us?" Katie asked, giving you a friendly smile and ignoring the glare in her direction that was coming from your brother.

You weren't ignoring it though and though it was there, you knew how to read your brother and beneath that glare were hints of sadness. But you didn't care, you were still angry at him for the stunt he pulled in the training room and sad at the fact that up until today, he hadn't bothered to talk to you– and even then, it was aggressive. You looked at Big Rig and nodded your head in his direction. "No, they're just going to drop me off before they go to his place."

Your walk from the hallway and through security and parking to Big Rig's car felt like a blur as Kennedy and Big Rig were focused on their conversation. As you got into the back of the car, you leaned forward between the passenger and driver's seats. "I sent my mentor an email during the game tonight and I have a meeting with her on Thursday to talk about the required hours of my internship and see if I've met them yet."

Kennedy turned back to face you so fast, you were sure she was going to have whiplash. Big Rig, as clueless as ever, looked between you and Kennedy. "What does that mean?"

Kennedy kept looking at you, raising an eyebrow and you just nodded. She sighed and turned to Big Rig. "It means she's done being your trainer."

[hargrove-mayfields]

Through the Lonely Throng

It’s impossible to sleep at night with so much noise.

The woods in Hawkins are filled with it, and from his window in the white house at 5280 Cherry Lane, Billy Hargrove can hear every last screeching katydid and snapping branch and the leaves rustling so loud when the wind blew.

Things were so much different back home in San Francisco, where the sounds of the night were distant and more like white noise. Then he could hear distant cars, their tires smooth on pavement, and the sounds of the ocean if he listened hard enough. He missed that more than anything.

Indiana was so much more, suffocating. The noise overwhelmed him in a way the bustling city life of Cali never had, and he knew that didn’t make a whole lot of sense. But it did to him, in a city that was actually made up of more than middle of nowhere neighborhoods and a few corner stores, he had his room to breathe. There was freedom in having somewhere to hide.

There used to be places to go when he couldn’t stand to be alone or when he needed to be, there was always an escape. He supposed that was why they moved here, so his father could keep better tabs on him, so he wouldn’t have the liberty he did in a developed city.

Now in Hawkins, he was just stuck, all the time, nowhere to go but back home again. Every single day was the same old thing without anything to do, and it was wearing down on him. He missed the life he used to have, missed his friends and the distractions and his fucking mom. Indiana was the last place on earth he wanted to be.

Everytime Billy thought there might be a silver lining, anything at all to look forward to, his hopes were shattered again like glass when you dropped it, only he never seemed to hit the ground. Constantly in a downward spiral since he’d stepped foot in this shithole town, his life had gotten so far out of his own control.

He’d already done so many things he regretted, but the thing was, he felt like he’d been watching from the backseat as it happened. The isolation and torment of the new way he’d been forced to live was breaking him down piece by piece, and everyday he became more and more like his dear old dad.

Staring out the window by his bed, a plume of smoke drifting up towards the twinkling stars from a cigarette between his fingers, he felt so, so uneasy. With himself, for all that he’d done, and the people he’d hurt, with his father, for uprooting him and putting him in this tiny box, deliberately bringing out the nastiest parts of his temper, and fucking Hawkins, for keeping him cornered and taking away everything he ever held dear.

The tears on his cheeks weren’t a surprise, he’d always been a stupidly emotional person, no matter how tough he tried to be. His momma told him that meant he was strong, that any boy who wasn’t afraid to show his emotions was very brave. Look where that got him.

Speaking of his momma, she’d been on his mind a lot lately. The idea that, had she not just drove off without him he wouldn’t be here now, it haunted him. He could’ve been happy, if she’d chosen him, chosen her baby over a life of freedom. She’d said once over the phone that she’d come back when he was older, that you couldn’t run fast enough with an eight year old, but that she wouldn’t forget him.

There’s a few months left until his eighteenth birthday, and he hasn’t heard a word from her since.

So much for dreams of a dramatic rescue, for the hope that his mom would come back for him and swoop him away from the arms of his abuser. Tough shit, kid.

Even if she had stayed, he knows in his heart things wouldn’t be any different. Except for maybe that Neil probably would’ve murdered the both of them by now if complacent little Susan hadn’t come along. Maria Hargrove was a fighter. Susan Mayfield took whatever was coming without complaint. Funny how he hated them both anyways.

Sometimes he thinks about how they’re victims too, how not everything that happens is their fault, but then he remembers the look on his mother’s face as she walked out the front door for the last time, or the way Susan would ignore him when he was injured, going about her day, picking up dishes and folding laundry while he lay on the floor with boot shaped bruises up and down his body. Of his mother’s tone of voice when she picked up the phone after she abandoned her son, or the way Susan would inform on what he’d been doing no matter the consequence just to stay in good graces with her husband.

Like hell did those women deserve it, but did he either?

Was it fair that, since he was just eight years old, he’d been being beaten and battered and abused in every way by anyone and everyone who got close to him? Did the fact that Maria got hit a few times make it okay to subject her son to the daily torture he faces just for existing? Does Susan’s fear excuse turning a blind eye to what she knows her husband does behind closed doors?

But does his own hurt make it okay to bully his step-sister and her friends? No, it doesn’t.

His excuse is that he’s scared.

Scared for Susan, as much as he hates to admit it, that one day Neil will get bored of beating him up and move on to his dainty little wife. Woman like her wouldn’t be able to take his punches, and if she couldn’t stand up for her step son, she definitely wouldn’t stand up for herself.

He’s scared for his friend Tommy, because he’s been seen spending too much time around him, and his dad is getting suspicious. Thinks that just because they hang around each other there must be something going on. Whether it was just regular teenagers up to no good or an accusation of queer shit, either would set his father off, and Tommy would be the target if they didn’t distance themselves a little.

And he’s scared for the Sinclair kid, because Neil has made it very clear that nothing good will come of Max hanging out with him. Billy’s kind of caught in the middle on that one, he doesn’t want Max to think he's the dickhead when his dad is, but he wants her to just keep her distance, be a little more cautious so something bad won’t happen.

Back in California, he’d had a black friend in kindergarten, and as soon as he found out, Neil called the school and had his classes switched just because they’d been too young to get a beating for it. Lucas was fourteen, and if eight was old enough for his own flesh and blood, then that was good enough for Neil to lash out. But they were just rebellious teenagers with no concept of real world consequences, and they were going to get themselves killed.

More than anything, he was scared for Max. He can tell she doesn’t really know what’s happening around her. Susan does her very best to shield her daughter from Neils rage, and that means not telling her about it at all or letting her see it. On Neil’s bad days, Max would still come home talking a mile a minute, pushing him over the edge to a violent fit that his son would have to face, and she’d be none the wiser.

At first, it’d pissed Billy off that she could go home free so often, but by now the fact that she was completely blind to it scared him that one day, she’d be next. Just a few weeks ago he’d had to step into the middle of an argument between his father and step-sister, and got a split in his eyebrow so bad it still hadn’t healed. It was only a matter of time before he didn’t catch it in enough time, and Max’s little safety bubble would pop forever.

But doing his best to keep all of them safe meant doing his worst, and he hated it. What choice did he have when he had to keep Max and Lucas separated and the target on Susan’s back small? How could he do that other than to be strong and mean and just like Neil?

Because, if he had a mean streak himself, that’d threaten his big bad dad, and he’d get his ass beat. Coming home wasted and making a scene, he’d get his ass beat. A call from the school or a concerned parent about that rowdy boy down on Cherry, and he’d get his ass beat. Wash rinse repeat.

Be the worst Billy he could be, and Neil would take it out on him, not on Max who holds hands with black boys, or Tommy who doesn’t even know his best friend’s a queer and just wants to have a friend, or Susan who didn’t know what she was signing up for when she said I do.

Still, making that choice, deciding to take the worst of his father's rage for everyone else and still not seeing an ounce of empathy or concern thrown his way put a bitter taste in his mouth. At this point it was like, why even bother keeping up the sacrifice? Nobody appreciates all the pain he goes through to protect them, why not just be good?

Because it wasn’t just for them.

If Neil knew his son wasn’t manly and brave and cocky and cool like everyone thought he was, Billy was sure he’d already be six feet under. The act had saved his ass on more than one occasion, when tears fell from his eyes and accusations of being a dainty fairy started to fly, the leather jackets and the metalhead music and the fucking cologne on his balls kept Neil from going too far. It was a counterbalance sort of thing, because he could think of nothing else that would stop his dad from lashing out at everyone around him.

He knows how he acts is wrong, but he doesn’t know what else to do, what else could stop Neil. Unless somebody would just grow a pair and put Neils sorry ass in prison, then things wouldn’t have to be this way.

But it was that way, the cops didn’t believe Billy when he was 10 and innocent, let alone now that he’s just some washed up trouble maker, and Neil kept up a pristine reputation among the communities they lived in, so nothing was done about it.

Everyday the line between who he actually was and who he needed to be to survive and to protect those around him from that monster got blurrier and blurrier.

So here he was, listening to the dumb katydids in the trees keeping him awake, chain smoking and reflecting on his choices, some of the most recent and very poor ones sticking out in his mind's eye.

On Halloween, he’d almost killed a bunch of kids just to scare Max. Every night he thought about what would’ve happened if she hadn’t been quick enough pulling the wheel. Getting beat up by your daddy doesn’t excuse that, even if in his head he was just trying to teach Max a lesson.

Then he’d broken her skateboard for talking to Lucas behind his back. That had actually been an accident, but he was still threatening to do it when it broke and he was still screaming at her. For trying to protect her from Neil, he sure did treat her just the same way his father did him.

The icing on the cake was that the same night, he’d lost his cool and totally scared the hell out of everyone. Max is pissed about the skateboard and sneaks out of her room in the middle of the night, he doesn’t notice because she’s like 13, she doesn’t need a babysitter, Neil and Susan find out before he does, and there’s bruises on his back and a sore spot on his cheek and he can’t find the little twerp for the life of him. All her friends' parents have a different answer for where the kids are, and when he finally finds them they’re under the supervision of a random teenager unrelated to any of them in a strangers house.

Now, when they moved here, Susan had been concerned about the area, she’d heard trafficking was bad in the Midwest compared to their sunny California, but Neil had told her it’d be fine. As Billy pushed his way into that house that night, he was pretty damn sure it wasn’t. One of the kids that was supposed to be there was missing, the one who’s house they were in, is just, gone, and he can only think the worst. His thirteen year old sister is being prostituted or some shit and he’s kind of freaking out, and he turns it around on Lucas.

Lucas, who hadn’t done anything wrong but be a kid, but who had been warned about hanging out with Max, and had now gotten her involved in some kiddie porn thing, and Neil was going to kill him and he’s fucking terrified. Then he’s in a fucking fist fight with Steve Harrington, who he’d thought was just the somewhat dopey leader of the basketball team, but was apparently leading whatever the fuck this operation is and lying to him about it.

He wins the fight and he almost kills Steve, thinks he has every reason to if his suspicions are correct, but Max picks up some random syringe, which, again, he’s convinced would only be necessary if they were drugging and selling out these kids, and fucking stabs him with it. He doesn’t remember anything else, but he knows Max has gotten a lot cockier around him and the other kids hated him like, a thousand times more.

There’s still the creeping feeling in the back of his mind that there’s something else going on, but he didn’t want to be like that again. He’d already known he’d crossed the line to being too much like Neil, but that night had really cemented it in his head, and he regretted all of it. A thousand different things could’ve played out, and he’s pretty sure that because of him, the worst of all possible scenarios had occurred, and he wished he could go back.

But he couldn’t, so he tried to apologize, but Max wouldn’t hear it. He’d been halfway through saying he was sorry when she’d opened the car door and stomped away, slamming it shut in his face. That was fair, he deserved that, but he wished so desperately that there was something he could do.

He guessed his problem was just, keeping doing what he knew was wrong until it was too late, and then not knowing how to like, change from that. Just apologizing meant nothing at this point and he knew it, but he hadn’t meant for this to go on for so long. Which also meant he sure as hell didn’t know how to fix it.

It made him feel hopeless, being caught between so many different expectations, especially when he realized that he had set most of them for himself. He was a monster of his own making, and he would have to own up to that before anyone would forgive him.

——

Things never really work out for Billy.

The instant things start to look better, Neil would do something that set his son back to the start of it, and he’d screw things up with Max and her friends all over again like clockwork.

It felt like he would always be trapped alone with the quaintness of Indiana, locked up in the confines of his bedroom, unable to break the cycle of abuse.

He never expects that statement to be as true as it is.

Glass shatters, he panics, tires squeal, he loses control, broken ribs, he can’t breathe. In and out, he can’t remember, chemical burns, his face and his throat and his chest burn like fire, fades to black, what did he do? It hurts, he’s sorry, burning heat, he didn't do it, it hurts. Gun fire, he floors it, fireworks, he wants it to end, seven feet, he was happy, blood on the tiles, he’s not gonna make it.

Billy Hargrove dies on the Fourth of July, 1985.

He doesn’t get the chance to move on, doesn’t get to prove his father wrong, or ever have the chance to live his own life.

There’s no turn around in his young life to get back on the right path and leave behind his trauma, to be better than what his abuser did to him. He’ll never see his mom, or his home or his sister ever again.

He doesn’t have the chance to make it up to Lucas or Susan or Steve or Tommy or Max. Or to escape the mindset he’d been raised into so he could be free and safe and happy again.

Billy’s last words are an apology to his sister. He chokes on his own blood, or maybe not his own, he’s not sure, and he goes out of this world at only 18 years old, a monster of his own making.

[goldinavonlea]

I wonder if Gilbert ever told Mary who the girl he was referring to was. If he did, did she mean for him to be careful and make sure he loves her and it’s not just a crush or just in general marry the person you love without thinking of anyone in particular. And once planting season starts, who is going to look after Delphine. I mean I’m assuming both Bash and Gil will be busy with farm work to be able to look after her while they work. Poor Delphine 😭😭😭

I mean I would assume he’d mentioned a little more about her and Mary is, knowing as she does that she’s not going to be around to be a fussy big sister and vet any women he brings home for him, giving him the guidance she considers most important, particularly off the back of the conversation they’ve just had about Bash: Mary married the love of her life, and she wants the same for Gilbert.

Also, having had a child so young and it clearly not having worked out with the father, Mary is well aware of the consequences of falling into a relationship with someone who isn’t your Life Mate out of loneliness or the desire to have Someone, even if they’re not The One. It’s obviously a very different dynamic in today’s world, but back then it just wasn’t The Done Thing to just... try it out with someone, see how it goes, and if it’s not what you’re looking for nbd: fun fact I’ve only learned since watching this show, but I was looking up some stuff about courting gifts (read: I was fantasising about The Ultimate Dream which is a pretty boy giving me a pretty ribbon god I love a ribbon) and discovered that a significant part of the significance of physical gifts in courtship was that they could be held as evidence in a court of law if you deemed someone to have broken a promise to you. I’m not exactly certain under what circumstances you could have taken someone to court, what exactly constituted a ‘promise’ that was considered legally binding, but you could get up on the docket with a ribbon and an engraving of your face and be like ‘See? Evidence of his intentions towards me’. That is the level to which courtships were Not Fucking Around in the byegones, so naturally Mary is going to be cautious when her 18 year old baby brother in law wanders home with a pretty flower humming to himself over a girl he’s only just met—especially after he’s evidently been pining over someone else the whole time she’s known him, there are no flies on Mary, she knows. You sort of only had one shot proper shot at the whole Romance Thing—if you jumped in too soon and then wanted to back out you’d have a hell of a time doing so, and probably completely screw the reputation of yourself and the other person involved in the process, which would make both of your lives very difficult indeed.

As for who’s going to look after Delie (it’s adorable that they call her that and also essential that, like Anne, it’s spelled with an E: girl’s a baby not a New York sandwitch) during busy times on the farm, I’m not especially concerned—Marilla would, Anne would, Mrs Lynde would if it was a truly desperate situation though I personally would not hand a child of mine over to Rachel unless it was life or death, I imagine Miss Stacy would if it were harvest and school was out, perhaps the Barrys might now.

What DOES worry me is what happens when Gilbert goes off to Queens, and Bash is now facing down the prospect of single parenting a child and running a farm on his own all year round. The question of who looks after Delie THEN as a more permanent issue, as well as who’ll help Bash out, nags at me continually.

I don’t think from the way they’re talking about it that Queens is quite the same as it was in the books (which is to say, a teaching academy), since it always seems phrased with Gilbert like he’ll be going straight from Avonlea to med school, Diana saying she’d have a degree if she were allowed to attend Queens etc. In the books as I understand it, you go to Queens to get your teaching cert, then go on to Redmond from there to do your actual degree (Med for Gilbert, English for Anne). It seems to me that they’re sort of shuffling the concept of Redmond into Queens, with Queens as Med School for Gilbert, and Anne studying her BA in English.

But if that were not the case, what might have been Quite The Thing To See would have been a reversal of roles between them regarding teaching positions: if Mary’s died but Matthew lives (which I’m big time hoping for I mean frankly I wouldn’t have asked for this as a trade because I was sort of prepared as much as I could be for losing Matthew, but since they’ve already taken Mary off us they Absofuckinglutely cannot have Matthew too I will bare knuckle fight Moira myself), we might have seen Gilbert spending the year at Queens getting his teaching cert worrying about Bash struggling with everything on his own, and then him getting a teaching position in White Sands (? I think?) and Anne getting the Avonlea school (opposite to how it goes in the books) with Anne rather than Gilbert approaching the board to request a swap, so that Gilbert could be at home with Bash to help out (rather than Anne getting to be in Avonlea to support Marilla after Matthew’s death).

I think I’d quite have liked that.

As it is (as I said, with Queens I am fairly sure not being a teaching academy in AWAE), I really am not sure how Bash is going to go about handling it all on his own. Maybe Matthew renewing his offer to help Gilbert with the land but to Bash, with Bash Jerry and Matthew working both farms together while Marilla minds Delie during the day? That might work really well actually—Bash could go back to Green Gables after the day of farming, have dinner with them (so he’s not having to juggle a full day of farm work then having to cook and mind Delie), then head home to spend the evening treasuring his daughter. Though I hate the idea of him living in the house without another adult for company, missing Mary. I’m still hoping that Elijah is going to turn it around and step up in the wake of Mary’s death, so maybe he and Bash will manage to form a ragtag unit to run it all together (though still with Marilla’s help I’d imagine: she’s so besotted with Delphine and I’m not sure Bash could be carting Delie around the farm with him all day.

Although that being said I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what women did for like... thousands of years, farming and agriculture were traditionally the realm of women as well as childcare while men hunted (I read somewhere once that they’d done studies on really old remains and found that due to the hard graft of agricultural labour the average woman from x time period (and quite probably x broad geographical area) would have been more jacked than the average olympian today which is So Very Cool anyway) so they must have just touted their kids about with them, although this was probably in a time of much greater communal living and the whole ‘it takes a village’ thing so they probably had some gals minding the tots whilst others farmed etc etc anyway ANYWAY

Anyway yes, the prospect of how Bash is going to manage as a single parent and sole individual working that farm worries at me too (although... honestly I’ve never seen all that much evidence of what they’re actually getting up to I mean they... fix border fences I guess but other than that... mainly seem to hang out in the barn whacking the shit out of waggon wheels? Aren’t they an orchard? Like surely there’s no way in HELL an orchard large enough to sustain a living could be harvested by one or even two people? You know what actually how DOES that work I have questions now what kind of opperation are these people running anyway ANYWAY I have Can’t Shut Up Disease and I apologise)

[lokisgame]

A Generous Donation [1]

A/N: Teacher-Mulder AU on a dare from twitter

Once upon a time there was a young assistant professor at Harvard named Fox Mulder. A handsome and exceptionally intelligent man, passing genetical muster in every possible way, who one rainy, November day found himself in dire need of cash. He turned to his friends for council, since they, being as broke as he was, were no good for money. “You’re a fine specimen of the male animal,” said Langly opening his fifth beer that evening, “there’s a market for that.” “I don't have time,” Mulder began but Byers cut him off. “Not like that." Langly grinned and wiggled his eyebrows. "A sperm bank." “What?” “Donate.” Langly said mater of factly, while Mulders’ jaw landed on the table. “I did.” “Then they’re not too picky.” “Fuck off," he bristled, "I finished MIT, top of my class.” “Right, no.” Mulder said, with uncharacteristic finality, but the idea stuck. 

20 years later, standing in the middle of the auditorium, he looked at a striking red-head, sticking out among sea of young faces. “Logically I would have to say no,” she said, sticking her chin out defiantly, “energy requirements of intergalactic travel,” “Mom, c’mon that was a rhetorical question,” said William under his breath, slight blush barely noticeable on his warm complexion, so unlike her and yet. “It’s okay William,” Mulder said, sitting on the edge of the desk at the centre of the room, and turned back to the woman, huge smile on his face. “Conventional wisdom, very practical," he said and spoke to the room in general. "It’s practicality that got us to the moon, and one day will get us beyond our solar system. Dreamers would get nowhere without the skeptics keeping them in line and making them work to achieve their dreams.” Her forehead smoothed and she smiled back. “Perhaps the technology is unimaginable to us now, but one day we might think of space travel they way we think about flight. Thank you, mrs. Scully” “Miss,” the woman corrected him, still smiling, “I was never married.” “That explains the practical part.” Mulder said and addressed the rest of the class. “You managed to sidetrack me, as usual.” They laughed and he grinned at them, “but since this is our first class this year, I’ll let it slide. That’s it for today, go bother someone else.” He waved his hand and the room started to clear out, laughs and friendly smiles sent his way as people passed him by. With the corner of his eye, he saw William linger behind with his mom. “Questions, Will?” He asked the boy when they approached, but his eyes were on the blue ones of the petite, elegant woman next to him. “I didn’t mean to ruin your lecture,” she said, before Will spoke up. “Will kept going on and on about this course all summer.” “You didn’t ruin anything, we’re always open to discussion around here.” Mulder grinned, and leaned back on the desk again, “you have a great kid, miss Scully.” “I’m standing here,” Will said, obviously embarrassed. “You brought your mom to school,” Mulder laughed, “bare the consequences like a man.” Scully laughed, and patted his arm. “It was my idea, a dare, sort of,” she said, turning back to Mulder, “I didn’t think you’d notice, and then I got carried away.” “Good thing you have a cool mom,” he said to the boy, “your reputation will recover.” "Can we go now?" Will said to his mother, eager to get out. "We could have lunch," she said, looking Mulder in the eye. "People do tend to eat around this time." "Would you like to have lunch?" She said and Will turned on his heel. "I'm going, bye, see you next week, professor." "Have a good one, Will." Mulder said, never looking away from his mom. The doors opened, swung shut, he smiled. "So, about that lunch." "About those aliens," she said and grinned back.

[spartanguard]

always pass on what you have learned

so @optomisticgirl found this twitter thread and told me I had to write Captain Cobra in the same situation. It took a little bit but here it is: 1.9k of Captain Cobra/dad!Killian fluff. slightly canon-divergent (Henry hasn’t left yet when Hope is a baby, but he IS an adult—so if you don’t like reading about him doing adult things, even just in passing, back away).

summary: Henry had a visitor last night. she hasn’t left yet and it’s morning. will Emma notice? or will they hide away and make a break for it? Killian is eagerly watching (with his sidekick, baby Hope) to find out.

It was a testament to Killian’s well-honed captain’s eye that he was able to pick out the slight anomaly in the usual prim order, despite the early hour and his sleep-deprived state.

He’d just hit the bottom of the stairs with his teething infant daughter on his hip—who had decided that 4 am was the perfect time to wake up wailing and that 8 am was when she wanted breakfast—when he noticed the unfamiliar pair of shoes sitting at the end of the row of boots and sneakers in the foyer. They weren’t Emma’s style, and certainly were too large for Hope; that left only one option:

“Well, darling. It seems as though your brother’s lady friend spent the night.” Hope babbled back at him in response, green eyes wide. “It looks like today will be more interesting than we thought.”

Henry wasn’t necessarily in trouble or anything; the lad was 18—nearly a man grown. And he’d endured enough lectures from both his mothers on the many modern contraceptives that he would have that end of things covered (and if not, then he was old enough—and had a strong enough support system—that he’d be able to deal with the consequences). Emma would probably be displeased, but she knew she couldn’t stop him. And honestly, they couldn’t say much given that they’d surely done worse—Hope being the evidence of their late-night activities.

So Killian’s curiosity was just that: who on earth had Henry been fucking last night? He hadn’t dated anyone since breaking up with Violet last year. And would she get out past Emma’s notice?

(“Fucking” seemed a crude term to use, but Killian had no other words to describe the sounds coming from Henry’s bedroom as he rocked Hope back to sleep earlier. Lovemaking, it was not.)

He’d just started feeding Hope her favorite squash purée when the stairs creaked, making him pause with the spoon midair. It was too early for Henry to be up on average, but if he was trying to sneak someone out, then maybe…

But it was Emma who blearily shuffled into view, eyes barely open but feet moving on instinct toward the Keurig. “You gonna stare at me or you gonna feed her?” she quipped, as Hope protested the delay in her meal.

“Both,” he replied easily, complying with his daughter’s demands and never missing a moment to ogle his beautiful wife. In the relative silence that followed, the only noises heard were the gurgling of the coffee contraption and Hope’s happy smacking of her mouth as she ate.

No sounds came from the room above, even once the smell of pancakes and bacon filled the house.

“His loss,” Emma concluded with a shrug as she wiped the last bit of syrup off her plate with what was left of her small pancake mountain. She savored her final bite, setting her fork down and leaning back in her chair. “Well, I was going to start working on laundry and cleaning the bathrooms, if you wanna clean this up and keep this one occupied?”

“Sounds perfect.” Hope might be slowly munching on her puffed cereal right now, but once she was loosed, it was a full-time job keeping her from climbing and crawling into places she wasn’t meant to go. Emma had put up some magical barriers, but if the occasional sparks they saw in their baby’s hands were any clue, it was just a matter of time until those became useless.

And he was also extra intrigued to see what Henry and his friend would do now—or if Emma would find them first.

Once the kitchen was cleaned and the puffs devoured (and subsequently cleaned off the floor, where they of course had been stepped on), Killian was keeping Hope occupied in the living room with some toys, trying to get the 11-month-old to take her first steps. Alas, it wasn’t meant to happen for her today, but he did finally hear movement coming from Henry’s room—the creak of the floorboards as two individuals made their way around the space; he had a decent idea of what they were doing.

He could also hear Emma cleaning the bathroom in the next room over. And could see their visitor’s shoes still by the door.

“What do you think, little one?” he asked Hope, pulling her up to standing as she tried to crawl into his lap. “Will your mum discover your brother and his friend, or the other way around?”

Hope’s responding gibberish was as much an answer as he expected—and, oddly, seemed to fit the scenario.

“It seems we’re in agreement, love.”

Nothing developed, though, by the time Emma finished upstairs and then went down to the (now finished) basement to handle laundry. If anyone wanted to make a move, now would be the perfect time; they had a 10-minute window while Emma folded the clean wash.

Killian was reading to Hope from a giant stack of books (mostly from Belle, of course) when finally, footsteps alighted on the stairway. He tried to maintain his focus on the story while watching to see who came down from the corner of his eye—especially since the steps were far too light to be Henry’s.

He had to rein in his gasp when he saw Ava—Henry’s best friend—hop off the landing into the foyer, grab her shoes, then tiptoe back up, not casting a glance his way but clearly trying to avoid being seen. The sound of rushing water from the bathroom shortly followed, to no surprise; it was past 11 am, and no one had a bladder that strong.

His amusement at the whole situation was quickly turning to wonder: why would Henry feel the need to hide a relationship with his best friend? It wasn’t as though she was a stranger; in fact, she was one of Hope’s favorite people. Of all the ways the lad had managed to get in trouble over the years, this was far from anything awful.

Just as he was considering sending Hope after them—neither teen could say no to her adorable face—Emma came back up from the basement and continued on up. The waiting game would continue, though he had to assume it couldn’t go much longer; they were no doubt starving, but far too intelligent to get back to what they’d been doing last night.

By this point in the day, he could only assume the kids were waiting for Emma’s usual afternoon nap with Hope. (She never intended to fall asleep when she put the babe down; but no one begrudged her the rest. Nursing was hard.) That’s what he’d have done, at least; but he also had never quite been in this situation. Before he turned pirate, he was too focused on the Navy to pay much attention to the fairer sex; after, it only helped his reputation to be caught leaving.

Not much later, Emma came to retrieve a drowsy babe from Killian. “Someone’s definitely ready for a nap,” she assessed, scooping the littlest Swan-Jones into her arms. “I’ll be back down soon.”

“Take your time,” he said as he stood to give her a quick kiss, knowing full well neither of them would be seen again for a couple hours.

Silence settled on the downstairs soon, and Killian set about cleaning up the mess of toys in the living room before turning his attentions to the rest of the downstairs—and keeping out an ear for any other happenings.

He was dusting the frames that hung above the fireplace when two careful sets of steps made their way down the stairs. There they were. But he remained focused on the task at hand, letting them slip out seemingly unnoticed. They were good kids, they weren’t doing anything bad—they were just being ridiculous.

In his peripheral vision, he saw the door quietly swing open and Ava creep out. Once she was out of sight, he turned his head and managed to catch Henry’s eye, who evidently was watching to make sure they weren’t seen.

Henry paused as they stared at each other and gulped, which just made Killian smirk. And give him a wink. Henry gave an awkward nod—both knowing they’d chat later—and followed his (girl?)friend out.

Several hours later, Emma was upstairs giving Hope a bath while Killian prepped dinner for the adults when Henry returned. (Emma had been a little bummed that Henry left without saying goodbye, adding that “he should have just invited Ava over”; Killian held his tongue.)

“Smells good,” Henry commented as he entered the kitchen and made a beeline for the fridge. “New recipe?”

“Sort of; still trying to replicate my mother’s,” Killian replied as he stirred the sauce, to go with the pasta that was cooking on the next burner. “Should be done in a few. I’d imagine you’re rather starved after the day you’ve had.”

He glanced at Henry from the corner of his eye; the lad had stopped in the middle of opening his can of soda and was turning a color that matched the tomatoes in the pot.

Henry gulped. “Am I...am I in trouble?” he stammered out.

“No,” Killian answered casually; there was no sense in torturing the boy.

“Does Mom know?” he continued, still visibly nervous (but he at least finished popping the tab on his can).

“Does she need to?” Killian tossed back. “I was always under the impression you and Ava were just friends.”

“We are...I think...I’m not sure.” Henry took a sip of his drink and leaned against the adjacent counter. Killian silently looked over at him, letting him continue. “We’re just kind of fooling around, I guess. Like, we like each other, but with her going to UMaine in the fall and me leaving, we don’t really want to get super involved. Does that make any sense?”

“Aye, it does; that’s tricky.” Killian remembered a similar feeling on the outset of things with Milah—but was pretty sure Henry didn’t want to hear the sordid details of his relationship with his grandmother. (They talked about her, obviously, but Henry mainly wondered what she was like, and Killian was more than happy to oblige.) “Just...try to make sure no one’s heart gets broken. And make sure you’re being safe.”

Henry’s blush had been fading, but then it returned in full force. “We are,” he insisted. “Wait—you heard us?”

“Much to learn, you have, young padawan.”

The Star Wars reference drew a chuckle from Henry, but he quickly tossed back, “Yeah, well, it’s not like you’re a Jedi Master at being quiet either.”

“On the contrary, Master Henry—I don’t let anyone hear anything I don’t wish them to,” he countered with a wink.

“Eww! Seriously? Come on, Killian!”

Killian was laughing quietly at the reaction when Emma joined them. “‘Come on, Killian’ what? That smells good,” she added, echoing her son.

“Oh, nothing—he’s just trying to make me lose my dinner before I even eat it.”

Emma playfully swatted Killian’s shoulder. “Be nice! Especially since Prince Henry has finally graced us with his presence.”

The conversation fell into banter and discussions of plans for the week ahead, as normal as ever. No reference was made to the previous night by either man, and Emma still seemed oblivious; Killian and Henry were fine to leave it that way, and it was never mentioned again.

But Killian did notice that Henry used a bit more discretion with visitors from then on.

And he may have been a bit on the loud side when he and Emma made love that night. It was only fair.

thanks for reading! tagging @kat2609 @thesschesthair @fergus80 @xpumpkindumplingx @shipsxahoy @mryddinwilt @cocohook38 @annytecture @wingedlioness @fairytalesandtimetravel @word-bug @pirateherokillian @bleebug @its-imperator-furiosa @queen-mabs-revenge @flipperbrain @sherlockianwhovian @laschatzi @ive-always-been-a-pirate @nfbagelperson @stubble-sandwich​ @killian-whump​ @lenfaz @phiralovesloki @athenascarlet @kmomof4 @ilovemesomekillianjones @whimsicallyenchantedrose @snowbellewells 

[anagentinwriting]

To Catch a Thief - Final Part

Summary: Being an FBI field agent was your dream job but having been stuck behind a desk for most of your career you’ve almost given up. Fortunately, a series of robberies with minimal evidence forces you to assist a team in the field to help solve the case. But when the only thing left behind is a series of song lyrics, will you be able to find the perp? Or will the number of obstacles and lack of evidence keep you from solving the case?

Pairing: Peter Quill x Reader

Word Count: 3584

Warnings: Fluff, language

To Catch a Thief Masterlist / Main Masterlist

After handing in the evidence box, you headed to Trash Panda. The team and a few other agents were already waiting for you to have celebratory drinks for a case closed.  As the night wore on, you did what you do best, put on a face for everyone and try to sort out your feelings. Peter was working the bar tonight, and you caught him gawking at you a few times. You sent a wink his way forcing a blush to his face.

Tonight, you saw Peter differently. You knew how he felt about you, yet you didn’t know how you were feeling about him. Peter’s the guy with a reputation of bringing home random girls and never getting serious. Why would he want to settle and get serious with you?

The guys at your table left to go play pool leaving you with Gamora and Mantis. “What’s going on with you tonight?” Gamora asked, reaching over and squeezing your forearm. “You’re so quiet tonight.”

“Hmmm…..it’s nothing.” Your eyes flash to hers before taking a sip of your beer.

“You are lying,” Mantis said as you shot her a hard glare. “It’s my job. What’s bothering you?”

“It’s stupid,” you answered picking at the label on the beer bottle.

“I’m good at being stupid,” Mantis replied, Gamora agreed then stopped when she realized what came out of her mouth. You shake your head glancing in Peters direction seeing him talking to a group of women.

“It’s about Peter, isn’t it?”

Your head snapped to Gamora. “I saw the disk of you and Kraglin debriefing him, but it felt more like you were interrogating him.”

“Shit, Kraglin didn’t throw it away. Damn it,” Gamora cursed under her breath. “I’m sorry we should’ve told you.  We were just looking out for you.” She paused tilting her head as she realized something. “That’s it, isn’t it.” You narrowed your eyes at her. “You’re freaking out because Peter’s falling in love with you and you don’t know what to think.”

“That’s ridiculous. We haven’t even talked about our feelings towards each other and here you are making accusations about how I feel about him.”

“I sense you care very deeply about him and he does for you too. Right now, Peter's uncomfortable with those women around him, especially since they’re blocking his view of you. And you're jealous of all those women around your boyfriend,” Mantis explained.

“Um...okay... but to clarify he’s not my boyfriend. Sure, we’ve hooked up, but he can do whomever he wants whenever. Ah….I should get going. I forgot I have to do something tomorrow morning.” You put on your jacket and walked past Gamora as she grabbed your arm.

“Hey, if you’re afraid of getting hurt. Talk to the one guy that knows Peter best. Yondu.”

You walked into the field office first thing Monday morning with a good feeling. It was the start of a new week, which meant a new case for the team. All weekend you avoided Peter hoping to get your feelings sorted out, but instead, it turned into binging every romantic comedy and thinking about anything other than your feelings. Your only focus was on the two people falling in love on the television screen. If only love was that easy to figure out?

You waved at a smiling Luis and went straight to Yondus office. You decided to take Gamora's advice and talk to Yondu. If anyone was going to tell you the truth about Peter, it was him.

You knocked, hearing him yell to come in, and stepped inside. “Hey, Yondu. Sorry to disturb you but I’m here for some advice,” you said, taking a seat across from him.

“What does this pertain to?” Yondu raised his eyebrows crossing his arms across his chest.

“Personal matters.”

“You know, I don’t like hearing about my agent's personal lives. I especially don’t like hearing about their problems,” he huffed. “But considering things and how I view my agents as friends and some as family, including you, I’ll hear what you have to say.”

“Damn Yondu, I didn’t know you were so sensitive. What one do you consider me as?” Luis asked through the phone sitting on Yondus desk.

“How many times have I told you, boy, to stop putting yourself through my phone and listening to my conversations. Some of them are very personal.”

“Sorry sorry sorry, but for real though am I part of Yondu family or Yondu friends.”

Yondu stared at the phone shaking his head. “Family, but it might change if you don’t get off the line.”

“Yes! You know I had this a feeling I was, but now that you said it I feel like we reached a new level.” Yondu shook his head, letting out a loud sigh.  “Sorry, I’m sorry, continue on with your personal conversation that I will not be listening to. Hanging up now.” Luis goes offline. "Yes," Luis shouted loud enough from the main lobby for you to hear him Yondu's office.

Yondu grunted, “I’m going to regret telling him that.” You cracked a small smile. “Now about Peter?”

“How do you know it’s about him?”

“Call it a hunch.” You covered your hands over your face shaking your head. “It’s okay. Peter’s like a son to me, but I want you to know I can’t tell you everything. It’s not my place, but I can try to help in any way I can.”

“I guess…. I guess I’m here because I want some insight on what Peter is like in someone else's eyes. I want your honest opinion about him.”

“It shouldn’t matter how I feel about him. It’s about your feelings towards him.”

“Feelings? Get real, Yondu,” you scoffed, making Yondu tilt his head not believing you. “Fine, yes I may or may not have feelings for Peter Quill. They are just conflicting with each other at the moment, and I don’t know what to believe. One side is saying go for it while the other side is saying runaway so you don’t get hurt.” Yondu smirked, shaking his head as if he knew something you didn’t.

“Well, I met him at a tragic point in his life when he was 10 years old, but you already know that.” You nodded. “From that day forward, I kept a close eye on him, but back then, he never got into much trouble. His mama raised a polite boy, but a few years later he came back on my radar again. This time he got caught stealing food from a gas station, and the owner pressed charges against him even though Peter returned the food.

After this, Peter went through a troubled phase. He’d get into fights at school when the other kids teased him for being scrawny or how he didn’t have a father. I mean, these kids were terrible. They went as far as saying no one wanted him, not even his dad, or how Meredith gave herself cancer to get away from him. It was a tough time for him, especially with his mom still recovering.”

“Wow! I had no idea. He never shared any of that with me,” you said, staring hard at the nameplate on Yondu’s desk.

“It’s tough to talk about the past when you’d rather forget it,” Yondu said as you gave him a knowing nod. “Peter has a big heart and cares about the people in his life including you. He might come off as a womanizer, dick, a-hole, or whatever, but I can promise you he’ll never hurt you.  He’s a sensitive guy that wears his emotions on his sleeve. This gets him in trouble a lot because he acts before thinking through with the consequences. In some situations, his emotions take over, and he can’t hold them down, so he lashes out and does something stupid. Like, I read in your report about him pushing you out of the way to save you from the bullet, but he ended up getting shot in the process.” He shook his head, making you crack a half smile.

“He’s a good boy, but he gets lost sometimes when he doesn’t want to give up on those he cares about. Right now, he doesn’t want to give up on you or you to give up on him. Many people have let him down in the past, like his jackass of a father, and you know what that feels like.

“But, you should know Peter isn’t the only one that cares about you.  Me, Gamora, Kraglin, Luis, and many more care about you, too. We will always help you if you’re having a problem or if you want to talk. We aren’t going anywhere, and we don’t take you for granted. I know you have trust issues, but you can rely on us to be there when you need us. Give it time with Quill. I know you might run away to escape your feelings. Hell, you might feel like you're not good enough for him or this job because your mother was the same way.”

“You.....you knew my mother?” Your eyes snapped up to his.

“I never told you this, but we were in the same Quantico graduating class. She was a strong headed woman that didn’t like to take other people’s crap,” he chuckled. “Anyways, there was a time at Quantico when she wanted to quit and run away because she didn’t think she was good enough. Then, she started dating your father and finally believed in herself. That’s what people do who care about you, they bring you up, and make you believe you’re capable of anything.

When I found out you were her daughter, I knew you’d be a hard worker and push your limits. You’re exactly like her but running away isn’t the answer. No matter how messy life gets, I want you to know there are people who do care about you.”

There was more to Yondu than you realized. He wore this cocky, arrogant attitude to cover up how much he cared. He was looking out for you in all this; everyone was. You were too focused on the case to notice you were building relationships.

“Thanks. Um...I think I got what I needed,” You nodded, standing up.

“Your welcome. If you need anything my door is always open,” He grinned, showing off all his ugly teeth. “And for god sacks, Luis get off the fucking line.”

“You know what I don’t even regret hearing all that. It was beautiful, you know like those donuts with red white and blue sprinkles in the break room.”

“See you Yondu.”

“Bye kid.” He waved as you left his office.

Yondu was right you needed to stop running. You ran from your horrible foster parents once you were old enough. You ran when you found out your high school boyfriend was cheating on you with your best friend.  You ran when your foster sister was stealing money from your secret stash. And you broke up with your boyfriend at Quantico because you weren’t ready for a big time commitment.

You run when things get hard, you always have, but maybe it was time to stop running. You finally made friends who will be there through thick and thin.  It was a strange feeling, but it was a good feeling. You finally had what you always wanted, a family, and right now, you were pushing away the one person you truly cared about.

You walked past Peter’s door wondering if he was at home.  You haven’t returned any of his texts or calls all weekend, but you needed to talk to him after speaking with Yondu. You unlocked your door and switched on the light as you flipped through your mail. A figure moved in the corner of your eye making you drop your mail and pull your gun from your holster. You pointed your gun at the figure only to realize it was Peter.

“Peter, what the fuck?” You shouted, lowering the gun and setting it on the table. “You scared the crap out of me. I could’ve shot you. How did you even get in here?” You stared at him in disbelief. He sat on the other side of the island wearing a gray t-shirt stretching across his pecs. His shirt sleeve sat high enough to show the small scar on his bicep where he took the bullet. He was sporting a few day's scruff making him look dirtier; This type of look on the man always distracted you.

“Sorry, but this isn’t the first time I picked your lock,” he winked.  “Among other things I’ve entered.” You sighed, shaking your head at his childish ways.

“What are you doing here?”

“I have some good news.” You stayed silent waiting for him to continue. “My mom’s cancer is gone, and when I say it’s gone, it’s obliterated.” He insinuated an explosion with his hands. “It’s crazy! Before we left Wakanda and after we got back she was feeling and looking better.  Then, she went to the doctor, and he did some scans, but he couldn’t find anything. The tumor in her head was gone. He said it was a miracle.”

“That’s great, Peter. I’m happy for you and your mom,” you smiled, moving around the island to take the seat next to him. You were generally happy for him. He still had time with her, and he wouldn’t have to say goodbye to the only family he had left.

“This is going to sound insane, but I have a feeling it was the Infinity Stones. When they were glowing it felt like something was happening, or does that sound ridiculous?”

“It’s not crazy at all. I felt something that day, too,” you replied, placing your hand on his thigh. He glanced down at your hand, and you quickly pulled it back to your lap. “Many legends say the Infinity Stones have magical attributes. Valkyrie believed they only caused destruction, but T’Challa mentioned they can perform miracles, too.”

“I guess, I should be happy I had to hunt down those stones then,” he huffed, eyeing you up and down. You remained quiet not knowing how to say what you wanted to say to him. “Can we talk about the elephant in the room?”

“What elephant in the room?”

“The one where you have been dodging me all weekend. You didn’t even say goodbye when you left Trash Panda the other night, and you haven’t returned any of my messages. Did I say or do something to offend you?”

“No, it’s nothing like that at all. It’s...it’s hard to explain?”

“I got nowhere to be tonight but here.”

You gulped down the frog in your throat wringing your hands together. It was now or never; face your fears or run away from them. “Whenever things get hard in my life, I run thinking it will solve all my problems. It doesn’t, but it makes me feel better or at least I make myself believe it does.”

You bit your lip trying to decide where to go with this. “I don’t like to get close to people. You know this, I’ve told you this. It’s kind of my way to protect myself. A defense mechanism if you will.” Peter nodded. “Whatever this is--” you pointed at Peter then to you “--scares the shit out of me. I don’t know whether to run from it or dive in head first to see where this thing goes.”

“I’m scared, too.” Your head snapped up at his words. “I must admit, my feelings for you started the day you banged on my door wearing your robe and bunny slippers,” he chuckled, running a hand through his hair. “I didn’t know where this new friendship would lead, but I found myself caring about you. The more I learned about you, the more I fell for you.

You know in the movies, where one character takes the big step in showing how much the other character means to them. Whether it’s a big romantic gesture, saving their life, or realizing they have always had this unspoken thing between them. I have always wanted that, but I never knew when it was going to happen. If it was ever going to happen.  Sure in movies it can happen anywhere, but in reality, you don’t know. The characters on the screen can show us what it looks like to fall in love, but to experience it firsthand is a whole different story. Truth is, I never experienced what love felt like until I met you,” Peter confessed with his eyes never leaving yours.

The nerves in your body fired in every direction making your stomach tingle and twist into never-ending knots. Your palms started to sweat as your face flushed pink. You knew how he felt about you, but him telling you directly brought a whole different feeling to you. What were you scared of? A broken heart, the unknown, or how your life would unravel if this ended badly. This was you, always thinking about the awful things that could happen, but never taking the chance to see what could happen. You needed to stop worrying and take the plunge head first into the deep end.

Peter makes you happy. When your life got stressful he kept you sane and helped you get things off your mind. He could make you crack a smile, even if he told you the lamest joke you ever heard. He was there for you when you needed him, and it was starting to feel like he always would be. He saved your life and risked his own to protect you. You cared about him and wanted to be there for him like he has been there for you. For the first time in a long time, you started to remember what it felt like to be loved.

“Earth to YN?”

You snapped out of your trance. “Sorry, lost in my head.” You cleared your throat continuing. “You’re insufferable. An adult child that listens to the same songs over and over again, and sings them obnoxiously loud. A guy who still believes the greatest movie in history is Footloose even though it never was. And for some reason, you think all problems can be solved with a dance-off.” Peter frowned at his hands in his lap. “It’s insane how these little things make you so god damn irresistible.” Peter tilted his head up as you continued.

“The only love I’ve ever seen was from my parents. My dad always looked at my mom like it was the first time they met. He was always so cutesy towards her and constantly doing things to make her feel loved. I never thought someone would give me those same feelings my dad gave my mom every day until I met you. I’m in love with you Peter.” You peeked up at him, but before you could continue, his lips collided with yours.

At first, you’re taken by surprise, but you closed your eyes sliding your hands up his chest to his neck deepening the kiss. His hands rest on your waist pulling you closer to him forcing you off your stool to stand between his legs. His lips were soft against making a moan escape the back of your throat as his tongue slid into your mouth. You pulled away resting your forehead against his and stared at him unable to keep the smile off your face. When he opened his eyes, and all you saw was love.

“What’s the plan now? Are you going to run from this or are you going to dive in headfirst with me?” Peter asked, standing up and resting his hands on your hips pulling you towards him. “Whatever you choose just know that I am holding onto you tight so it will be harder for you to escape.”

“If I do run--” he pulled you tighter to his body, making you shake your head “--I think I would be running from one of the best things that has ever happened to me." You leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the lips. “And it would be a mistake to not give this unspoken thing between us a shot.”

He smirked, clenching the back of his jaw. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted, sweetheart.” He leaned down and faintly brushed his lips across yours. “What do you feel like doing now?” He asked, licking his lips waiting for an answer.

“You think I am going to put out on our first date?” You asked with pursed lips. “I know who you are, Peter Quill! And I am not some starry-eyed girl here to succumb to your pelvic sorcery!”

“Wow, pelvic sorcery, huh? Didn’t know I was that good with my wand? Or did I?” He wiggled his eyebrows at you making you roll your eyes. “So, what’s next? Something bad, something good, a bit of both?” He nudged his hips against yours making you bit your cheek to keep from smiling.

“Bit of both,” you replied, pulling your bottom lip into your mouth.  

“I think that’s doable.” He flashed you a playful smile unable to break his gaze from your taunting lips. In one swift movement, he lifted you onto his shoulder forcing a squeal out of you, and you slapped him on the ass. You both laughed as he carried you to the bedroom.

AN: And we have reached the end! Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed my first series as much as I liked writing it!

[asagi-s-garden]

Ok but listen, can we talk for a second about how both Joey and Kaiba are intimately familiar with abuse and are Not Putting Up With That Shit?

Has it yet to be properly discussed that they're both very aware of the signs and signals and whenever they see even the smallest red flag they are ON IT to tell the potential victim that hey, you know, this is probably a bad thing and here's why and here's what you do?

Has it been addressed yet that they're both willing to go to war for someone who's in an abusive relationship and no- it doesn't matter who it is, no, it doesn't matter if they know them or not, no, it doesn't matter what the relationship is or who it's with or what the consequences might be- IF SETO KAIBA OR JOEY WHEELER FINDS OUT THAT YOU'RE ABUSING SOMEONE YOU ARE DEADER THAN DEAD THE END

And they have no idea, initially, about this ... quality that they share, maybe they have suspicions in the back of their minds because they can spot the signs pretty easily but honestly their own stubbornness and biases about eachother makes it hard to see deeper than what they let on the surface so they're mostly oblivious to it until one day they end up helping the same person, maybe Joey's neighbor happens to have started an internship with Kaiba Corp or something, and Joey knows what her boyfreind is doing to her and trust him, BELIEVE him, the guy is going to be ground beef by Friday but the biggest thing is getting her out right now, maybe she's not financially independent enough to leave or something, anyway, so he goes to see her at work to make sure she's ok and sees Kaiba talking to her AND SHE'S CRYING OH HELL NO WHAT DID RICH BOY SAY NOW?!

He stomps over, being hot-headed as usual, and starts to tell Kaiba off, when the girl quickly interrupts and says that she was crying from joy because Kaiba is advancing her pay so she can get her own apartment and he set her up with a driver and two of his bodyguards for the day so she can pack up and leave and Joey is just a little.... wut.....

She leaves, it's just the two hot-heads now, and this parachute of awkward silence between them, before Joey- in leu of apology- "Sooooo...... how'd ya' know?"

Kaiba's eyes roll all the way into the back of his head

"I'm not an idiot, that's how,"

"No no for real,"

Kaiba has work to do, he doesn't have time for this

"I know how to pick up on the signs, now drop it," and then a pause

"How did YOU know?"

Because the girl was very soft-spoken and kept to herself, always wore alot of make up, Kaiba isn't a psychologist or anything by ANY means but he's pretty sure that most people wouldn't know from a few random conversations with her so maybe Joey walked in on something he shouldn't have or-

"Yeah well... I can pick up on signs too,"

...

Oh

.....

Oh

Kaiba definitely puts the peices together first because he's a little more aware of it than Joey is, in the way of purposely trying to read people rather than stumbling upon information about them, and he sort of... stacks up all of the information he has about Joey in his head for a minute, forces himself to take a critical look instead of leaning on his biases and-

oh

And it's silent for way too long and Joey still never apologized for stomping up to Kaiba and calling him a "filthy spoiled dick-weasel who GETS OFF ON MAKING PEOPLE CRY FOR SOME REASON-" and he's not exactly going to apologize but

"That was uh..... pretty nice.... what ya' did..."

That's enough of an apology

"No, it wasn't nice, it was basic human decency, believe it or not, I AM capable of that,"

Ok yeah sure the amount of money and personal resources Kaiba just threw at the girl- who's name, Joey is pretty sure, Kaiba doesn't even know- is barely a drop in the bucket to someone as rich as Seto Kaiba but it still extends beyond "basic human decency", not that Joey is ever going to say that, but it does make him think

Kaiba isn't easy to read in the traditional sense but he's someone who always has a deeply explicit reason for everything he says and does, he's not frivelrous with his actions, Joey had finally come to learn that after he found out that Kaiba made huge donations to orphanages, at first he just thought "Eh, tax break" but then he found out and his opinion kind of... you know... shifted...

(It hits him, finally, about seven hours later when he's trying to sleep, as to why Kaiba might have taken such personal interest in this entire thing, and he lays awake for the rest of the night because of it)

So anyway yeah the thing is that Joey and Kaiba don't agree on much but this? This Very VERY Important Thing? They are in absolutely harmony over this, down the bones, they agree about everything, wich Joey finds out the next day when he goes to check on his neighbor at work again and runs into Kaiba a second time and they ... sorta.... talk

Not personally, not about their issues, but Kaiba is sour because the jackass responsible for this entire incident has skipped town and Joey is like "Ugh that's the WORST like as if it ain't hard enough to get these losers arrested...." and Kaiba just kinda snorts at that, because yeah, ok, "arrested", yeah that's what Kaiba was going to have done

And look, Joey has put his gang days behind him and he tries VERY. FUCKING. HARD. to keep his temper and his violent impulses in check 98% of the time but there IS that 2% when he'll happily go off and that 2% comes down to: 1% = When his freinds' lives/well-beings are threatened and 1% = When abusive pricks need to be taught a lesson

So, you know, Joey is kinda in agreement with what Kaiba is not-so-subtlely implying

And that's how these two idiots end up secretly becoming a protective force for abuse victims in Domino

Joey is usually the one who finds them, Kaiba is usually the one who has the problem "handled" (he insists that when he has a group of trained bodyguards at his disposal it's just stupid for Joey to go alone and exacerbate the problem, it isn't AT ALL about wanting to protect Joey's reputation and well-being) and they both pick up different ends of helping people get out of the situation, Kaiba takes care of the financial/practical end, Joey takes care of the emotional/personal end, and sometimes acts as back up when they go to pack up and move out even though there are usually atleast two Kaiba Corp bodyguards there (on exceedingly rare occassions Kaiba goes along but that's EXCEEDINGLY rare and Joey has yet to work out what makes those particular incidents special enough that Kaiba just has to go watch over it himself)

(Hint: It always involves kids)

So they become this, essentially, vigilante duo that no one really knows about except for people in these situations who spread the word to others in the same environment and eventually people actually start seeking them out, usually Joey because he's the approachable one

Joey likes to call it their "side business"

Kaiba refuses to call it their "side business"

(Joey kinda wants to have business cards made)

(Kaiba absolutely refuses to have business cards made)

Did I mention that about two or three months into all of this Joey ends up having a Bad Night and shows up the next morning more on edge and desperate to find someone to help than usual and Kaiba- because he's not a fucking moron- knows exactly what happened? And that, wile he keeps Joey busy with someone they're helping, he sends his two best men to Joey's apartment to clean it out, and two more to find a Pretty Nice apartment that may be closer to Kaiba Corp to put down a year's rent on and move Joey's stuff into?

Did I mention that when Joey shows up later that night exhausted from his two jobs and his side project but needs to pick up his keys- wich mysteriously vanished and he just assumes he dropped them at KC that morning- and Kaiba gives him .. wait these aren't his keys??????? And that Kaiba personally accompanies him to his new apartment because he "wants to make sure he's getting his money's worth" and absolutely neither of them acknowledge that Joey is on the brink of tears the entire time?

And did I ALSO mention that Kaiba "clears" the gambling debt (and by "clears" I mean "pays what's actually owed to the people it's actually owed to and has the loan sharks/gangs/con artists/etc promptly put in their places) and pays a very personal visit to Joey's father after leaving Joey in his new apartment that night?

Joey absolutely does not thank Kaiba for anything because thanking him means acknowledging it and he's not ready for that and frankly neither is Kaiba, but that's alright because Kaiba feels a somewhat concerning amount of personal satisfaction from this and doesn't really need verbal gratitude anyway

A few months into it their "project" has blossomed into an actual thing, and it's stil something that 95% of the city knows nothing about, it's still something that only people who are in-the-know are at all aware of, even Yugi and the others have absolutely no fucking clue, and no, for the millionth time, they are NOT. PRINTING. BUSINESS CARDS. It's by ZERO means anything official in ANY kind of way and if proper authorities- police, social workers, psychologists- ever ask they both deny it within inches of their lives because A. That is NOT a road either of them want to travel down, thank you, and B. It's private

It's private

Despite the fact that their good deeds have turned into some bizzare side job, it's still a very private and personal part of their lives that they don't want anyone knowing about except for the people they're helping, it's no one else's business, plain and simple

But anyway, this thing has kinda.. you know... started growing past what Joey can handle when you consider that he's still working two jobs and trying to have something resembling a personal life, and Kaiba's attention is divided in a way that it really shouldn't be because wile, yes, his mind is still mostly on Kaiba Corp, this is starting to take up more mental space than he's prepared to give and figuring out what to do everytime someone comes to him now is becoming a stress that he doesn't quite know how to handle

There's an obvious solution here and thank God Kaiba's logical mind beats out his emotional pettiness for once and he sees it sooner rather than later

By the time six months pass after that initial run-in with eachother, Joey has a very unofficial, confidential job at Kaiba Corp, absolutely no one knows what it is, not even Yugi- wich kind of scares Yugi a little bit- but Joey is ... really really happy?? And definitely well compensated

He has almost complete control over this .... thing... they started together with full access to Kaiba's resources, Kaiba started a bank account solely for this project that Joey has full access to and he very rarely feels the need to run anything by Kaiba anymore so Kaiba's head is once again cleared for mostly business, although he does check in on occassion when he can afford a moment and an inch of room in his mind, and Joey does have times where something is so intense that he isn't sure what to do and he just .. can't... and he and Kaiba work it out together

And it's ... kinda weirdly good? For both of them? They feel better, individually, and they come to develop alot more respect and trust and appreciation for eachother and work together much better and don't get me wrong, every single dueling tournament, it's the same: Insults fly and reckless dueling happens but over the years it goes from truly nasty cutting insults to something that's almost fond and amused- somewhere off to the sidelines Yugi and the others are afraid the world is ending but you know- (they never do find out what Joey's job is by the way and it drives each and every one of them absolutely crazy, conspiracy theories rise, someone poses that Joey has become Kaiba's personal hitman and although it was just a joke at first, the longer things stretch on, the more concerningly realistic that starts to look)- and just... things are good

They really never talk about their own experiences but they come to find alot of healing in what they're doing and alot of healing in connecting to eachother in this way without needing to talk about it

One day, a few years into it, one of their mutual freinds starts showing signs, and if you thought Joey and Kaiba were a force to be reckoned with when dealing with total strangers?

Let's just say that every vigilante duo you could possibly think of are put to shame from what blossoms during THAT occurance

[sabraeal]

Family, Duty, Honor

He’s been to a thousand places -- the shadows of Asshai, the great Dothraki Sea, the pits of Astapor, between the legs of the Titan, and even, once, skirted the edge of the corpse-city Stygai. He’s seen all of what this world has to offer; its highest luxuries and its darkest despairs, but still, still --

There is no greater fucking misery than the Riverlands in autumn.

They’ve trudged across every bloody inch of it to get here; it’d been Summer when they’d left Oldtown, the heat oppressive and sultry, the way he’d been used to in Braavos. Miss had wilted; he’d laughed and asked if she had caught some of the North from Miss Kiki.

By the seven, how long ago that feels.

Water pours from the heavens in great gouts, irregular and unpredictable as a drunk’s belly; one moment the skies are merely gray, clouds growing thick and dark, and the next he can hardly see an inch in front of him for the rain. It’s as if the damned Drowned God of the isles has stormed his way into the heavens to harangue the Seven, only to have a bit too much on the way. Maybe that’s why for as sodden as his priests are, every one of them is as dry as a bone once a bottle’s brought out.

Stranger’s prick, what he wouldn’t give to be dry. No matter how long the skies hold, the ground never dries. Every river ford is swollen, soaked like a whore’s cunt, and by the time they lead the horses over the last bridge, Obi’s ready to turn right back around, war be damned. He’d fly into the arms of Izana Targaryen himself if it meant dry clothes and a meal not cooked over a campfire’s flame.

A knee brushes his, the other mount dancing too close, and his breath catches in his chest. No he wouldn’t. He might play mumblepeg with his own life, but his mistress’s --

Never.

Her hands tighten on her reigns, breath stilled, and without even looking he knows -- she’s seen them. The towers of Riverrun.

“That’s it,” she breathes, at last. “The home of my father.”

His hand clenches, the squealing of his gloves lost in the downpour. He hadn’t been privy to most of that conversation in the twilight of Dorne, not of enough consequence to merit a seat with the lost heir of Tully and a Targaryen prince, but --

But the way Mukaze had spoken of it, he’d say it was more his prison. Just looking at those walls, at the way the Red Fork traps them on their isle – he could see it. See how a man would chafe, even in his silks.

“My family,” she breathes, so light a normal man would have missed it, would have thought it a sigh of the wind.

“Careful, Miss.” Dread knots itself in his chest as he stares at the gates. “These aren’t your grandparents.” These aren’t your people.

“I know that,” she minces crossly, “but blood means something to these people. High houses go to war over family.”

They also go to war with family, but he knows that thought won’t be welcome. Not now, not when she knows all too well what may happen between brothers.

Instead he tugs on his reigns, nudging his knee into hers. “When you’re ready, Miss.”

She takes a deep, gasping breath, like a man about to be submerged, and says, “Ready.”

All it takes is a flash of that Tully red to get them in the doors. Obi would disparage the security, save that it only seems to increase the wariness of the fish swimming next to them; the goofy, gaping maws of their helms swivel their way far too often to express ease. Spears and swords are held with white knuckles, their pale fish-faces held tense.

It’s been a long time since there’s been a Tully besides Lord Harmund behind these walls. Obi can’t help but think that’s by design.

The doors to the audience chamber swing open before them, and the great Lord Tully, lord of the Riverlands, sits hunched upon his throne. His hair might have been Tully red once, but winter and war had worn it gray. His eyes as well, though sharp, have washed from river-blue to the icy hue of its rapids. Everything about him is withered, worn, weary.

“Come closer,” he calls, his voice still strong, though reedy, as all these riverfolk. “I’d see the girl who claims to be my heir. The hair alone won’t do,” he tells them with a weak laugh.

Miss hesitates only for a step, and then she strides across the hall as if she owns it, as if she were born to it. He can only follow along in her wake, dragged as ever by her undertow.

“Ah,” Harmund sighs when she comes closer, his eyes fixed to her face. “I see it. You’re so like Joyeuse.”

Miss stares up at him, eyes watery, the ghost of her mother between them. The mother this man would have married, had Mukaze not spirited her away, and married her in some sept in Dorne.

“Bread and salt,” he blurts out, earning a glare from his Miss. “You haven’t yet offered us bread and salt.”

Harmund stares at him steadily, mouth pulled thin. “Of course,” he says, “bread and salt and all of Riverrun’s hospitality. My niece has returned home!”

Tully’s heir his mistress may be, but Obi is still just some skulk from Braavos, wearing a face from Asshai. When the lord invites her into his study for private conference, he’s not included in the invitation. The fish at the door make it clear enough, flopping their hands at him and telling him to wave his steel elsewhere. They don’t want a rough like him near their lord, or his lady heir either.

He can’t help the first, but they’ll gasp their last if they think they can take his miss from him.

They aren’t done until late; he tries waiting in her rooms, then his, but they don’t think to bring mercenaries up dinner, not even when they serve the heir. It’s dark when he sneaks to the larder, pouring himself a bowl of stew and taking a thick hunk of bread. He leaves the cheese; it’s made from cow, he knows, and the last thing he needs is to be spending a night in the garderobe. Not here, where despite Miss’s insistence, they’re surrounded by strangers and maybe even enemies.

She finds him, of course, tucked neatly into the hay loft, stolen prizes across his lap and half in his belly.

“There you are,” she laughs. It strikes him that it’s the first time he’s heard it since the war broke out.

He lifts his hands, bread still clutched in his palm. “Here I am.”

“I’ve been trying to find you,” she says, tucking herself into his corner, shoulders resting against his. The moon filters in softly, and for a moment, it’s just like late nights in Oldtown, summer burning hot even so far north. “I talked to my uncle.”

He grunts, dipping his bread into his trencher.

“It went well,” she tells him, almost reproachful. “I told him what had happened, what – what I found. I know Tully hasn’t picked sides, but I think he’ll do it. I think he’ll fight for Zen.”

If only he was as convinced as his miss that was the right choice.

“What’s wrong?” Her shoulder nudges into him. “You’ve been tense the whole time we’re here. Nothing has happened.”

“I don’t like this place,” he admits, grudgingly. “I don’t like the guards, and I don’t like being separated from you, and I don’t like this lord uncle of yours or the way he looks at you.”

“The way he looks at me?” She recoils. “Obi --?”

“He looks at you like you are your mother,” he presses. Her mouth hangs open. “I don’t think it’s occurred to him that you aren’t Joyeuse Arryn. That he can’t just do to you what –“

Voices shout from outside, followed by laughter and they both hush. It wouldn’t do for the heir to Tully to be found in the hayloft with her bodyguard.

“It’s misery out there,” Harmund croaks, shaking himself out as he walks in. He’s much haler than that day in the throne room had made him think, and it only makes Obi trust him less. It doesn’t help that the lords that he keeps with him, his closest confidants, are a hand full of Freys and a Blackwood.

“Fuck autumn,” crows a Frey, and all of them laugh. “At least it’s brought you a sweet bounty, my lord.”

“Aye, it has,” Harmund says, subdued.

“What will you do with her?” the Blackwood asks. “She’s a sweet thing. I hear the Tyrells have a boy, though he’s got himself some sort of reputation with the women…”

Miss stiffens beside him. She hadn’t thought of this, he knows. They could send her to Raj, try to cement alliances. He doesn’t have to tell her it would be good for Master.

“We’ve got plenty of boys at the Twins!” another Frey laughs. “She could have her pick.”

“Aye,” the Blackwood coughs, “as long as she likes a stoat for a husband.”

“I’m not marrying her off.”

Miss eases against him, her head dropping to his shoulder in relief.

“Not to any other house,” he uncle continues. “She’s heir to Tully. I won’t have her hand it off to some husband. I’ll marry her myself. Get a boy on her. Can’t afford to be weak with a woman heir in times like these.”

“Ah, so the sweet bounty is for his lordship,” a Frey laughs. “Not one to share?”

Miss is so stiff next to him, rigid, not even daring to breathe.

“It’ll be done when I return,” Harmund says, swinging himself up on his mount. “The septon’s already preparing. With my king’s permission, I’ll be a married man.”

She doesn’t dare to breathe until they’ve left, but still she sits, unmoving, staring out into the air.

“Miss --?”

With a sob she bolts for the ladder, scrambling down it so fast that he’s hardly stood before she’s out of the barn.

Damn. Damn. He sits back down, dipping bread into his stew. He knows better to give chase when she’d rather not be found.

He lingers over his meal, in no rush to lock himself away in Harmund’s keep, where the man is here or not. There’s no use searching it for Shirayuki; he might have, what seems ages ago, back when they were both in Wistal and the vipers seemed particularly deadly, but --

But he knows her better now. She’ll find him when she’s ready.

It’s sooner than he thinks; he’s only just slipped into his own rooms when he sees her small form perched on his bed, back hunched in misery. Oh, what he wouldn’t give for fate to be kinder, if only for her.

“You were right,” she sighs, voice still thick with sobs. She’s sounds wrung-out, ill-used. Obi can’t say he doesn’t feel the same.

“I wish I wasn’t,” he tells her, coming to sit on the bed, legs stretched up behind her. “If it helps any.”

“No,” she admits, “but I have a plan.”

His heart seizes. He’s known too many of her plans.

“He can’t marry me if I’m already married.”

It takes all he has not to leap off this bed. “Miss –“

“We’ll tell him it happened in Oldtown,” she decides, “a secret visit. Hid from his brother, since he knew he wouldn’t approve.”

“Oh.” His heart eases, even as it aches. “You mean Master.”

“Yes.” She stares at him with a question in her eyes, but doesn’t ask. “We’ll say he got a child on me. Another secret tryst. That way he’ll be sure to throw in with Zen’s armies.”

“Miss --” he shakes his head – “you can’t – it will be obvious in a few months that there’s no babe. And then –“

His words still with one soft hand laid on his chest.

“That’s why,” she says, suddenly too close, “there will have to be a babe.”