#and then put the rest of the jar with the other spices and things so it's not taking up so much counter space

[blujayonthewing]

heartbreaking: you found exactly the kind of thing you had a vague notion about wanting but it's a rare antique and costs One Thousand Dollars

[tteokdoroki]

*ੈ🌩️‧₊˚— after sickness, after health + sae itoshi.

૮˶ᵕ ༝ᵕ˶ა synopsis — your ex husband is a menace. married or not, you'll always belong to him.

⭑ warnings — please read + mdni ! characters aged up to 20s, smut, angst, divorce, custody battles, you have kids, cheating (with sae lol), manipulation, possesion, slight yandere if you squint, dub-con, tummy bulges, hold the moan, spit!kink, drunk sex, unprotected sex, toxic relationships, previously established relationships, mentions of arguments, ex husband + pro player!sae, fem!reader - not beta read !

⭑ words — 1.5K.

⭑ notes — hello... i was not meant to write this but,, i fear i cannot escape the bllk brain rot lmao !! sorry if he's ooc or too mean but i hope u like it ily guys mwah <3 - m.list ✩

oooo ex husband!sae is so annoying, jarring, he’s horrible.

the divorce is somewhat amicable. both of you pretend it is. you were young and in love but now you’re growing out of affectionate shoes that are too small for you now. it hurts. but you pretend.

ex husband!sae takes what’s his and you take what’s yours. sae doesn’t want what you have and what he gave you — being the big bread winner he was, you keep the house and the cars, the expensive wedding gifts his parents sent from abroad. pity presents, he calls them. he doesn’t want you to be out on your own.

the only thing you and ex husband!sae fight over are the kids — it’s a long and drawn out battle. very messy with tears on your end begging him to call it even and take the deal your lawyer offers up so that the public stops tearing you down. he likes that you’ve called him against the wishes of your lawyers, you’re coming to him as his ex-wife — pleading with him in that way that makes his lips quirk up in a cruel smile because it’s been so long since ex husband!sae heard you beg for him like that.

maybe the custody battle was only to drag you through the mud, make you hurt a little bit so you remember ex husband!sae for the rest of your life. the time you spend with kids is split down the middle.

ex husband!sae hears it from one of your little girls on the way back from their ballet class that mommy is seeing someone new. your other daughter likes him a lot, says he gets them ice cream on the weekends where you have them. and sure enough, your ex doesn’t like that, a weird and sick sense of possession curling around his heart and lungs because you’re not supposed to have been able to move on from sae. you’re only supposed to be happy with him.

ex husband!sae who invites himself over to dinner with your girls on the night he knows that your new boy toy will be there. a sense of pride washes over him as he takes in your expression when you open the front door to him; your eyes wide, pretty lips parted in a delicate ‘o’ — you look as though you might cry, asking him if he’s here for the girls and blinking quick when he says he wants to join the four of you for dinner. he watches the curve of your ass as you lead him inside, wanting to rip that little apron right off of you and make you his again in front of your boyfriend.

the kitchen is cramped with both men politely arguing over how to make the girls’ favourite dinner while they watch bluey out in the living room — paying no mind to the tension building down the hall. your boyfriend seems uncomfortable with how comfortable ex husband!sae is in your space. he knows where the spices are, how you like to wash the dishes as you go along, the way you set the dinner table. your stress runs high as sae flits through your home, after all he did live here once too.

your boyfriend puts his hand on your shoulder. sae smiles when you shrug him off.

the polite yet snide comments continue when your girls are seated for their meals. ex husband!sae makes it known that your current partner has no place at the table, that he could never have you because you’re too loyal to the routine and life that you know. you turn to the fancy bottle of red wine sae bought with him as stress relief.

you’re slightly tipsy when ex husband!sae puts your children to bed — he stops on the creaky stairs because he can hear you drunkenly argue with your boyfriend about tonight’s events and he can’t help but feel as if he’s won. your boyfriend doesn’t think that sae should be around, that he’s bad for you, for the girls too for picking fights in front of them. and like the loyal little thing you are, you defend your ex-husband because he’s a good father and he takes care of you. he always has.

sae only steps in when he sees you getting upset, crumbling under the weight of the evening, the stress of being a single mother with someone who doesn’t understand it the way your ex does. no one else should have the power to make you cry like the midfielder does. that’s sae’s job. the steps of the stairs groan under the weight of his footsteps as sae trudges down them — intervening when you flinch away from your boyfriend who’s raised his voice at you in an attempt to get you to see that ex husband!sae is bad for you.

you screw your eyes shut and clench your fists, not intoxicated enough to fail to gently remind your current partner. “please don’t yell at me.”

you sound so hurt by the argument and that only serves to piss sae off.

“i can take care of her from here,” ex husband!sae brushes past your boyfriend to pull your swaying frame into his chest — sweeping in like your knight in shining armour and ushering the man out of his house with a sick smirk. “i think you should leave.” your boyfriend says he’ll text you later on, no doubt, with the intention to smooth things over while he still feels threatened by your pro-football player ex. but you don’t find the time to respond when later does eventually come around.

because later that night, you give into your urges and succumb to familiarity where ex husband!sae has your knees pressed into your shoulders and your hot cunt wrapped around his shaft — milking him so good like you always have. like you’re meant to be. the midfielder shudders above you, listening out for the squelching symphony your sex sings for him as he fucks you nice and slow. sae fills you up until you can feel his cock in your lungs, dragging his milky pre along your walls as if it’s his signature on your body.

the older itoshi brother would be lying if he said he didn’t miss you, your body, your kisses. the way you dreamily echo his name like it’s a prayer every time he angles his cock to hit your sweet spots. you find his hands within the messy sheets, the slickness of your heat making it easier for sae to grind himself into you. he feels lightheaded with ecstasy, his grunts turning to deep rooted moans as he swoops down to kiss you with tongue — a poor attempt to silence your squeals since your girls are sleeping just down the hall.

the bed that you used to share betrays you, crying from underneath the languid push and pull of your bodies working together for orgasm. ex husband!sae is torn between capturing your teary face in the now and reminiscing all the times he’d fucked you or made love to you against these very sheets. the thought of your new boyfriend doing the same makes him hotter, makes him move faster — slurring and spitting his praises into your eager mouth as his balls clap against the curve of your ass and the crude mix of precum and your juices tie sae itoshi to you.

licking into his mouth, you lift a hand to curl into sae’s roots and tug hard in the way that he likes. “sae,” you mewl, breathless and bambi eyed. “feel s’fuckin’ good. hah! d-don’t stop, m-missed you!”

“don’t tell me what to do, ‘couldn’t stop even if you begged for it.” sweat beads on ex husband!sae’s forehead and he closes his eyes, hips stuttering even though they piston into yours. he can’t tell if you actually miss him or if it’s the sex that’s making you feel this way — and quite frankly, he’s in the same boat. he hooks your thighs over his shoulders and presses the entirety of his body over yours, putting all of his energy in to deep, long strokes that make you choke on your words and gush sweet and clear streams around the base of his throbbing cock.

“you feel me here, love?��� your ex husband!sae, asks, magenta hair flopping over his eyes — his hips flush against your puffy clit as your juices pearl along side it. he gives you a rough thrust, fucking you like it’s your wedding night all over again and he hasn’t made the last few months of your life a living hell. like he loves you. “c’mon baby, pay attention. can’t believe you’re so shameless, letting me have you like this again. do you feel me?” sae presses down on your tummy where his thick dick bulges, the sensation making the whites of your eyes visible as they roll back into your skull.

you nod, delirious with desire, pussy trapping your ex husband inside of you. “y-yes, sae! f-feel you!”

“good, because i belong here, sweetheart,” ex husband!sae coos, an evil spark haunting his aquamarine eyes. “i’m the only one who ever gets to fuck you here. because no matter what happens — you’ll always be mine and i’ll always be yours.”

[puzzled-pegasus]

wof headcanons but theyre oddly food and substance related for some reason

Although I understand why Tui didn't include very much info abt alchohol or drugs in a kids book there is an extreme lack of culinary related world building so here are some ideas I had while on this train of thought :)

SeaWings tend to be foodies and are generally given cooking classes in school. Which if you think about it, is rather important, because like 60 percent of the creatures in the ocean are poisonous and the rest have parasites and nasty germs so they need to know whats up when it comes to food safety.

SeaWings use a lot of citrus in their food and drinks and they also use it for fragrances and stuff they just really like it

SeaWing nobles commonly eat fugu and there have been assassinations where a chef was bribed to not properly take out the poison so the dragon eating it would die

SeaWings drink to taste. SkyWings drink to forget what century it is.

SkyWings typically eat their meat raw but on special occasions they will barbecue it and put some spices n stuff on it. They don't eat much else besides meat but they do like spicy things like peppers and they also like strong onion or garlic flavors. The little masochists. Anyway,

SkyWings don't really like sweet things and many of them can't even taste them so they're like wtf is a dessert

man do they love them some olives tho. Olives everywhere. In their drink. Out of the jar. On their meat. Oil on their scales. Oil in their hygiene products. They started trading them from the Sand and SeaWings millennia ago but theyve selectively bred ones that grow in the mountains

This one's more drugs than food but SkyWings will sometimes take some kind of stimulant before battle like a beserker so they're all fired up heheh

MudWings are excellent meal preparers and sibs like to all cook together so they'll make a big pot of stew or something

They like bread and desserts, they have easy access to sugar cane being along the east coast and they also use a lot of honey. They're re into canning stuff too, they have a lot of raspberries and blackberries and strawberries in their temperate forest areas and they grow them to make jam and wine and they use honey to make mead

basically they are Cottagecore(TM) and I love them

They also eat lots of freshwater fish and crawfish and whatnot

And they also eat a lot of tatoes

Vanilla grows in the swamps, they use that in their cakes

MudWings deserve some appreciation goddamnit their kingdom is biologically diverse and beautiful

SandWings have tequila because. Yknow. Cactus.

They eat a lot of bugs and lizards, they don't really need to eat every day so it's not a huge deal

they do like coconuts tho and they use coconut oil in a lot of their hygiene products as well as in their cooking

They deep fry a lot of shit. Idk where i got this but trust me. They love things with lots of fat in it bc they need all they can get

Really sticky sweet desserts and candy; enjoyers of those one lollipops with the mealworms or whatever tf in them

also canning stuff like bone broth is very important

pickled cactus as well

rhey probably have a festival when cactus fruit goes in season

what even is IceWing cuisine.

Well way up north where there's nothing but ice it's pretty bad and the dragons have to eat just plain ass meat and seafood, but down into the tundras there's some pretty good stuff like cinnamon, pines for tea, honey berries, and other foraging as well as more diversity of meats

They would probably eat sushi

All the other tribes like to make fun of them and rightfully so bc their food is so plain

they make good honey berry wine tho

Maube that's why theyre so damn grumpy

RainWings are expert foragers ofc but they don't really feel the need to prepare their food in any way

They are, however, in constant dire need of sodium because they get absolutely none from their fruit

So anything salty is wow

Maybe rhey have a place near the mud kingdom border where they can grow some asparagus for salt

they are also the only tribe besides Night that can eat chocolate but forgor 💀 how to make it so the NightWings and them have to re figure it out together

Salted dark chocolate bing bang boom instant delicacy

NightWings used to be able to cook really well, especially desserts and pastry, but they forgor while they were trying to not die on the volcano

[danieyells]

Hello! Thank you so much for posting the guys’ voicelines! If it’s not too much trouble, could I ask for Yuri’s and Ritsu’s? I’ve been especially curious about Yuri’s since reading his line at the beginning of the game if you choose him lol Again, thank you so much!!

(i posted ritsu's separately!)

no anon you may not study yuri. yuri studies you. how dare you. bad guinea pig! you get no experiment tonight!

the rest of you, however, may come appreciate the good doctor with me. You can come too studying anon i won't tell yuri

some of his lines really kinda subverted my expectations of his character? /affectionate) like i thought he would be quite different! not to say his profile is dishonest, but. . .idk lol i love him he's. . .he's special.

Hello: (the first time the game is opened after that character is set as home screen NPC. Only happens once per day, unless the character is switched out and back.)

"What are you dawdling for? Change out of those rags and report to my lab immediately!"

You've Got Mail: (whenever there's something in the inbox, usually Arena rewards)

"What madness is this? Why do you have unread messages!? Check them immediately! Research is a race against time!"

Default: (requires no affinity, has no time constraints)

"You should feel honored to be chosen as the test subject of Dr. Yuri Isami, genius and visionary!"

"Jiro! Jiro!! What on earth are you doing!?"

he calls for jiro the way a parent calls for their kid who's minding their business in another room--

"Lowbrow schools of thought with the gall to oppose my research will bear a mark of shame for generations to come. One day, the world will be forced to acknowledge me."

i realized this early on since i chose him in the pre-prologue so i always had access to him on the home screen but. since anomalies have to be kept secret from the world he kind of can't be acknowledged for what he does in the long run, can he? since he specifically works in anomalous medical sciences much of what he does and works with has to be kept only within the institute's understandings. . . .

"I always preserve the lives of my patients. I cannot make guarantees for any other parts of them, however."

sure you're a disembodied head in a jar but you are a living disembodied head in a jar! don't worry they'll get you a new body!!

"I ask their cooperation for the sake of the future of humanity, and this is what I get!? Jiro, how much do we have left in our research budget!?"

Affinity 1: (between 5am and 11am)

"What a bracing morning. Jiro, prepare my wake-up tonic."

is 'wake-up tonic' a fancy way of saying coffee or do you have some mixture of herbs and spices that wakes you up

Affinity 2: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Are you injured or ill? Oh dear, how unfortunate. I shall begin the experi— Ahem, the treatment, immediately."

the way he says this is so incredible but tumblr will not let me upload the video for some reason he is so hype to try putting strange things in you.

Affinity 3: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Jiro's not feeling well, you say? Very well. I shall test my latest formula on him."

Affinity 4: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Oh, it's you. And here I thought I had a patient. I am currently reviewing today's lessons, so please leave unless you're here for treatment."

he's very studious for a genius. not a lot of the ghouls actually go to class.

Affinity 5: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Wha... Wh-Where did you come from!? Th-Th-Th-This!? It is a medical journal! The Ace Doctor Wows Minds In Another World Thesis!"

MY GUY IS READING ISEKAI MANGA ABOUT DOCTORS AND PROJECTING do you think he reads like hentai about doctors and scientists too. probably not right he's too haughty to think about things like that before they happen

Affinity 6: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"The only blood I stain myself with is that atop the operating table. On missions, I have Jiro to fight in my stead."

it's okay to say you're just not much of a fighter lmao

Affinity 7: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Anomalous medical science is uncharted territory. Should I become its pioneer, all will bow before my intellect until the end of time... Ha ha... Ah ha ha ha ha!"

Affinity 8: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Hmph. We have no time to spare on your drivel. Hurry up, Jiro!"

Affinity 9: (between 8pm and 5am)

"It's about time for Jiro's check-up... Hm? Wake up, Jiro! I've discovered an abnormality already!"

Affinity 10: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Hmm, this case is somewhat complex... No, there's no need for my expertise here. Jiro, prepare to operate immediately."

'this is too complicated for a human but not too complicated to be jiro's problem!' disregard that jiro may be smarter than him. . . .

Affinity 11: (between 5am and 11am)

"Prepare the new formula, Jiro. A specimen has arrived. What? You're not here for treatment?"

listen sometimes you just wanna pay someone a visit! it's not my fault you live in a goddamn hospital.

Affinity 12: (between 11am and 4pm)

"I will soon be finished with today's lessons— then I shall return to the lab to confirm the status of my latest test subject."

this is between 11 and 4pm, so you're basically just hearing him talk about his plans for after school lmao just normal student things!!!

Affinity 13: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Why yes, I attended every lesson today, as always. All studies are linked, after all. Though it takes a mind such as mine to recognize that."

I DON'T THINK IT'S THAT HARD TO SEE THE LINK BETWEEN MEDICINE AND EVERYTHING. . .UNLESS YOU JUST DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ILLNESSES OR MEDICINE. . . .

Affinity 14: (between 5am and 11am)

"What is that slovenly visage, worm? Tell me, do you have an excuse for looking more emaciated than me when I spent all night researching? I didn't think so!"

would you like my laundry list of reasons i look tired yuri because i can get it

Affinity 15: (between 5am and 11am)

"I must personally administer Jiro's shots three times a day. The treatment is rather unique, you see."

'you see i use my peni--'

Affinity 16: (between 11am and 4pm)

"You have business with Jiro? Not before bringing it to me, you don't. He is merely my assistant—as house captain, it is I who possesses the authority."

no talking to his son assistant without going through him first! sorry anon who asked for an appointment with jiro yuri has to approve it

Affinity 17: (between 10pm and midnight)

"I'm busy with my experiments. Go back to your dorm and ready yourself for your next appointment. Jiro, see her home."

i feel like he doesn't want you to see what he does to his other test subjects. . .not because they die or anything, they always live, it's just a little gruesome to see. He's not as rough with you. And he needs to make sure you keep coming back. And he needs to make sure you get home safe, so he's sending Jiro with you.

Affinity 18: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Even harmful anomalies can have use as medicinal ingredients... This is the sort of immeasurable value my work provides."

isn't that common knowledge in the medical world though. . .i mean obviously getting the right balance is crucial but that's not an entirely new concept, 'let's use the harmful thing for something good'--

Affinity 19: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Don't forget that body of yours is a vital specimen! Is it not common knowledge that lack of sleep is the root of all illness!?"

DON'T YOU AND JIRO REGULARLY PULL ALL NIGHTERS IF NOT FOR DAYS AT A TIME?????? maybe yuri is just immune to illness. . . .

Affinity 20: (between 5am and 11am)

"Good morning, M... M... M... My,  what an adequate morning it is, no!? Hmph... Don't confuse me like that..."

IF YOU DIDN'T CHOOSE YURI IN THE PRE-PROLOGUE IT'S IMPORTANT TO KNOW. . .when Yuri jumps he says "goodbye, mama."

In Japanese it's somewhat more apparent that he's about to call you 'mama' in the voiceline. Maybe it's just my interpretation based on lines 23 and 24, but I think something happened to his mother where he failed to save her with surgery and at higher affinity he begins to project that need to save terminal/cursed patients' lives on you in particular. And he starts to think of you the way he thinks of his mother, but also as his favorite test subject. That or it's a loop/timeline thing and you're actually his mother--do you guys think he'd be able to be convinced into mommy kink shit he clearly has mommy issues it might help

Affinity 21: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Mark my words, I'll have those pompous, preening parasites at Frostheim kneeling before me..."

man they do not like frostheim here in mortkranken. the fact that this is so high up is like. . .i wonder if there's some serious beef here.

Affinity 22: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Jiro's gone!? ...So be it, then. I grant you the privilege of being my assistant for the day. Be grateful, worm."

jiro will come back when he needs his medication, it's fine! woohoo! do we get a nurse outfit!?

Affinity 23: (between 8pm and 5am)

"There is no life I can't save... There can't be... I am Yuri Isami...the genius visionary doctor..."

it sounds like he's downright scared to fail to save a life.

Affinity 24: (between 10pm and midnight)

"My next surgery must be a success... I... I cannot afford another failure..."

i am once again assuming his mother died on the operating table while he was trying to save or otherwise help her and he's extremely traumatized by it. on the other hand would he say 'goodbye mama' if she weren't still alive? maybe she's alive but she's in a coma or hospice or critical condition or something. and he's studying anomalous medicine to figure out how to save her.

Affinity 25(max): (no time constraints)

"You belong to me. I will never hand you over to another researcher... (gasp) N-N-N-No, you've misunderstood! I-I just...!"

i'm literally the doctor's favorite lab rat because i am so obedient and intelligent and-- he blushes in the second line--he meant it as a test subject/lab rat or assistant thing but he also accidentally said how he really felt at the same time. . . . But you're his, he will be the one to save you, when he stands atop the world as world renowned genius anomalous medical doctor yuri isami you will stand by him as his proudest subject who's helped him confirm many theories and save many others' lives and he will work so hard to keep you well you are his and he doesn't want anyone else to learn what he can learn from you--

Spring: (March-May) (between 5am and 11am)

"Struggling with pollen allergies? I have a new formula here developed in Mortkranken, shall I test it on you?"

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm! Hmm hmm hmm! Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm! Pa rum!"

so i don't know enough classical music to be able to tell what the songs he hums are, but if anyone wants to give it a shot i can try uploading the audios of him lol just lmk

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Which house's ghouls are out in the field at present? Oh my, I do hope they come back with some exciting injuries."

i wonder who his favorites to fix up are. . .on the one hand, he hates frostheim. so he might wanna be rougher with them or subject them to more unique experiments and make them admit his intelligence and skill. on the other hand obscuary must be the most interesting ones to work on since they're so unique?

(between 8pm and 5am)

"When did the cherry blossoms bloom...? The changing of the seasons seems rather superfluous when I am engaged in my research."

Summer: (June-August) (between 5am and 11am)

"Jiro, make a record of today's temperature. We need to take the changing climate into for illnesses particular to summer."

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Darkwick will provide me the materials I need for my research, provided they fall within our budget... But that is simply insufficient."

have you tried selling organs? taiga says it's very lucative. surely you have some lying around?

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Hmm...hmm...hmm...hmm... hmm hmm hmm hmm, Pa pa pa pa pa pa rum!"

(between 8pm and 5am)

"Why do you look so distressed? If the heat is proving too much for you, I can prescribe you something to lower your body temperature."

Autumn: (September-November) (between 5am and 11am)

"Why must a peerless genius such as myself be saddled with performing piddling health checks for the new students!? It's asinine!"

aren't you the only legitimate doctor in this place by your own admission!?

(between 11am and 4pm)

"A trip to admire the fall foliage? Why yes, I am interested. After all, I'm sure Jabberwock's mountains possess all sorts of undiscovered ingredients. Let's get going."

just make sure you ask towa before taking anything. . .he might not appreciate you messing with his plants. . . .

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Sports...? Hmph, such nonsense is entirely superfluous to my life. Why needlessly expend energy in such a manner?"

(between 8pm and 5am)

"Hmm hmm, hmm hmm, hmm hmm, hmm, hmm hmm hmm hmm hmmmm!"

Winter: (December-February) (between 5am and 11am)

"Freude! Schöner! Götter! Funke! Tochter aus Elyyyyyyysium!"

HE IS SINGING ODE TO JOY IN THE ORIGINAL GERMAN.

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Eureka! A new formula utilizing an anomalous plant that only grows in subzero temperatures has been discovered, by...! Jiro..."

c'mon yuri be proud of your vice captain!

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Our research budget for the new year is nearly spent... Come, Jiro! We're going to negotiate with the faculty!"

(between 8pm and 5am)

"I despise the snow. It brings nothing but revolting memories... There, we're done with today's checkup. Any other questions?"

. . .what happened between Yuri and Jin. I NEED TO KNOW.

His birthday: (September 14th)

"You...remembered my birthday!? Ahem... If you wish to give me a present, make it either a talented assistant or a useful test subject."

people don't remember his birthday much i assume. . .or they tend to stay away from him so much he just doesn't get much attention or appreciation.

Your birthday:

"I am here to celebrate your birthday. Do you feel honored? I've prepared a new formula for you. Let's continue this in the lab, shall we?"

your birthday present is being part of more experiments! aren't you honored???

New Years: (January 1st)

"Happy New Year. I am on my way to make my first shrine visit. You didn't think me the type? I-It's just a tradition!"

Valentine's Day: (February 14th)

"Hmm, my blood sugar was just starting to drop. I suppose you do have it in you to be considerate every now and then... Pardon? Valentine's Day? ...(gasp)"

oh he has never gotten valentine's day chocolates before has he. or at least not recently.

White Day: (March 13th)

"I suppose I can concede you have proven yourself useful in the lab, worm. ...This is a token of my gratitude."

he didn't blush when he got the gift but he did blush giving you one so. . .i'm taking it this isn't obligation chocolate.

April Fool's Day: (April 1st)

"Hmph, did you honestly think you could fool me? I won't fall for your cheap tricks. I've already been fooled by Jiro seven times today!"

comically jiro's says he doesn't remember pulling any tricks on yuri at all. . .so yuri may be assuming anything he dislikes or is inconvenienced by is a trick lol

Halloween: (October 31st)

"Trick or treat! I have coordinated the ultimate matching costumes for Jiro and I... Yes, perfect."

the fact that he wanted to match costumes with jiro is so cute. . .like he really has this goofy side that doesn't come out much, but it seems like he enjoys celebrations and relaxed things, he's just too busy to engage in them. he likes isekai manga and holiday traditions and costumes. . .then again there's coordination and order involved in a matching halloween costume. so maybe he just likes the order and structure of it all.

Christmas: (December 25th)

"Merry Christmas. You can hand me my present at your earliest convenience. You did prepare one for me, didn't you!?"

he's surprised you remembered his birthday and valentine's day but he expects a christmas gift???

Idle: (about 20 seconds without interacting with the game) (below 13 affinity)

"I am a very busy man, so if you don't require examination, then we're done here."

(13 affinity and above)

"Hmph. You really think yourself important enough to make a genius like myself wait around!?"

Absent: (logging in for the first time in 2 or more days?)

"Where on earth have you been, worm!? Next time you plan on taking an extended leave of absence, I expect you to inform me in advance!"

THERE WE GO. after yesterday where tumblr decided to freak out on me and just fuckin delete it all i'm glad it's out of the way today lol. I REALLY LOVE YURI HE REALLY FEELS SO. . .PATHETIC. he's the self-reinforcing type who really feels the need to hype up his own greatness and reinforce his authority while, as you get closer to him, letting you see how vulnerable he is and how scared he is of failure. and at first you're a specimen and a lab rat but after getting close enough he shoos you away from his experiments and you can even be his assistant(in jiro's absence) instead. . .his profile makes him sound very in control and aggressive but he doesn't really seem that way in his voicelines i guess? and here and there he's goofy and caring. . .he's kind of a loser(affectionate)!

one of my favorite characters lolol i am so looking forward to the mortkranken chapter because that's going to be so dramatic i bet. . . .

[suntoru]

𝚊𝚜 𝚜𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚝 𝚊𝚜 𝚌𝚘𝚝𝚝𝚘𝚗 𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚢 

⤷ feat. bakugo katsuki

synopsis: other people know bakugo katsuki as rude, arrogant, and bratty. but only you get the privilege of seeing his softer side during your amusement park date.

back to flufftober masterlist

⤷ he drives you there and takes you back home.

now, if you were any old friend of his, he wouldn’t have even bothered to take you anywhere, let alone drive you. but there’s something about you that makes him want to wrap you in a thousand blankets, tuck you into a blanket burrito, and protect you forever. he’ll make sure that you’re all buckled up and comfy before turning on the ignition and driving away. he’s very concentrated on driving, so you silently admire his side profile while humming to the song playing on the radio, slightly blushing at the way he puts his hand on your thigh. oh, and you and bakugo have a shared playlist you always listen to together &lt;;3

⤷ he pays for everything.

even if you insist that you pay for some of the things, he’ll just tell you to shut up and let him handle it. he buys you the ticket, cute keychains and snacks, and even matching headbands. but if you’re as stubborn as he is, you’ll soon notice that your wallet has mysteriously disappeared! you frantically look around while he’s just smirking, before you realize it wasn’t actually missing, and he promises it’s safely tucked away somewhere. you demand it back, but your ‘scary’ face looks more like a pout than a scowl, one that makes the tip of his ears turn pink.

⤷ he brings homemade food.

he says the food is ‘too expensive and tastes shitty’ even though he’s loaded, so he always makes two lunchboxes filled with homemade goodies. it’s an honour to be able to taste something made by katsuki himself, but he also tones down the spiciness for your ‘weak-ass taste buds’. but in reality, he normally dumps the entire jar of spice on his food :((( but if you coo and ask him if he made yours special, he’ll deny it and curse at you, even if he spent two hours making the onigiri look like a cute bear.

he’ll also let you indulge in a couple of snacks, just as long as you give him a taste.

⤷ he holds your hand in lines and on rides.

unlike the usual over-the-top pda displaying couple, he’ll keep it to a minimum and just hold your hand. pray for anyone who bumps or tries to bud either of you, because his loud ass voice explosions will get you kicked out of the park. during rides, he pretends like he doesn’t give a fuck, but he’ll try and subtly lead you to the rides he wants to go on. oh, and if you’re terrified of rollercoasters, he’d either go on the more mild ones, like the spinning teacups or the carousel, or he’d be a bitch and take you to one of the highest rollercoasters. don’t worry, he’s there so you can cling onto him.

⤷ he wins you all of the prizes.

near the end of the day, you’re finishing the last of your cotton candy when you suddenly let go of his hand a run over to a stall. you fork over some cash and start playing the game, with him looking at you confusedly. however, after multiple failed events, you sigh dejectedly and decide to give up. “katsu, let’s just-“ you’re interrupted by your boyfriend, who unlike you, is surprisingly good at the games. you watch in amazement as he manages to pop all the balloons with a dart, shoot through all the mini basketball hoops, and toss every ring onto a pin. he even helps you win some of the games! you go home with two large bags of stuffies, much to your delight.

+ bonus!

as the day ends, you intertwine your hands with his as you rest your head on his shoulder. “thanks for the day ‘suki, you’re as sweet as cotton candy.” you whisper sleepily. “tch, you dumbass, it wasn’t that special.” he grumbles, but there’s a very obvious blush on his face. there’s also a… smile?

[miscfandomwrites]

A/N: Based off a prompt of two people who don't work well together being forced to make breakfast together, expect one of them fucks something up. Also, I made some characters have food allergies. Because I can and it helps make them more relatable in my opinion. Anywho, I can make more of this if y'all like.

Pairing: Stephen Strange x Reader (tried to keep it non-discript as possible)

Warnings: langauge

Words: 700ish

Tagging: @tyler-t0t

~

“You’ve never learned how to cook?” 

“Well, I have, I just don’t mess with hot things or knives or anything that might damage my hands.” 

“Well, that’s a bit vain, but considering your job is messing with someone's very delicate brain, I think you can get a pass. This time.” 

“Oh, this time, huh? Thanks, I guess.” 

I grinned at him. “C’mon, it’s our turn to make breakfast today, we’re gonna go all out so I can show you how to cook.” 

I grabbed a pair of aprons from the side of the fridge, tossing one to him. “I’ll do prep and you can make everything, should be simple.”

I asked FRIDAY to open up a digital whiteboard, and jotted down the ideas I had for breakfast: 

Banana Bread (2 loaves)

Pancakes with and without blueberries

Quiche (3)

Breakfast potatoes (two sheets)

Scrambled eggs

Bacon

Breakfast sausage

Sourdough bread

“That doesn’t look ‘Simple to me’ “ Strange remarked, eyes widening at the list as he finished tying his apron. 

“This is nothing, I used to work in a summer camp kitchen. Besides, we’re feeding several super soldiers, a couple gods, and several others.” I told him as FRIDAY helped make the lists of everything I’d need, and thankfully I had woken up early to feed and start the sourdough bread so it’d be ready to put into the oven in about half an hour. 

Putting on some 2010 hits from when I was a bit younger, I started pulling out ingredients while Stephen got the bowls, pots, and pans ready for it. 

I quickly diced and chopped a variety of vegetables and prepped some quiche in some pre-crusted pans that I pulled from the freezer, popping them into the first oven while I monitored Stephen making the banana bread. 

“Is this literally it? No seasonings or add-ins?” He questioned as he poured the first bread mix into the greased pan. 

“I mean, you can add like cinnamon and nutmeg and stuff but Clint has a nut allergy so I don’t, and last week we found out Loki is allergic to cinnamon, so.” I told him as I parboiled some potatoes. 

He paused at that and turned to me, confused. “A god from another planet has an allergy?” 

“Yeah, not surprising if you think about it for a bit. Took me a little bit to think about it as well.” I replied, taking a sip of my coffee as I used a fork to poke a potato. 

He narrowed his eyes and stared off into space for a bit, something I usually did when I was trying to figure out something in my head. 

“I mean, he is from another planet after all, and I don’t suppose they have the same spices as we do, so that leaves a whole world of possibilities open for them.” He said slowly after a moment. 

I nodded, taking the potatoes off the heat and straining them into the colander in the sink. 

“Peter is allergic to food dyes. Which is why he’s in the kitchen so often making his own candy with his friends.” 

“So that explains the large jar of sugar on the counter then.” he motioned to it as he put the bowl and measuring spoons into the sink. 

“Oh that? I think it’s citric acid, but I’d ask him at breakfast before you go putting it into anything.” 

He stopped for a moment and sheepishly rubbed the back of his head, making me pause. 

“You put that into the banana bread, didn’t you?” 

“It looked like sugar! What else was I supposed to use?” He yelled at me. 

“I don’t know! Maybe the jar on the left of the sink with the label Plain Sugar on it!” I yelled back, heading over to the fruit bowl and yanking the rest of the bananas from it. 

“It’s fine, we’ll just keep them in the kitchen and hopefully no one will notice.” 

~ One hour later ~

Everyone had started coming from their various morning routines and piled into the kitchen, grabbing bowls of food and taking it into the dining room as I got the hot pitchers ready with both regular and decaf coffee, and pulling out the pitches of various juices and iced coffee, carrying them into the room as well. 

As we finally all sat down, I explained how Stephen helped make breakfast and pointed towards the banana bread, and soon enough everyone had a slice. 

“WHAT THE FUCK!?” came from Bucky, spitting out the slice on his plate. “WHY IS IT SOUR?” 

Welp, looks like people noticed.

[sharkbeneaththelotus]

Today's postypost is "I have not made anything in three days of light just implode"

No time like the right now, ah?

Zhang Qiling was fine.

He was in a big box food store, and he was, objectively, factually, uninjured.

However.

The shelf, aisle, department and street names were all correct, and there was a distinct lack of salted dried peaches and he was, by this point in what was feeling like an exceedingly long day, deeply wounded by this.

To the sides, hawthorn cakes and dried jujubes, above; little yellow and blue pill shaped things on packets of individual grilled squid, below; a superfluity of dried mango in a box that he could fit in. If he ducked his head.

But no dried peaches, let alone salt and spiced ones. The paper crumpling between his fingers had promised they would be here, with a little xx <3 at the bottom.

In the next aisle over, a child dutifully tried to pick up a bag of rice larger than it was, to audible amusement and much encouragement. Zhang Qiling could see the parental unit's hand on the handle, taking most of the weight until the rice was placed on the cart with great fanfare. The child received: one pat on the head.

Zhang Qiling reached up to tug his hood closer to his forehead. The lights were loud. Grating.

"Um, excuse me, thank you..." A cart of boxes said, to his left. The boxes were wheeling slowly down the aisle, accompanied by a human head. Possibly also the rest of the human. Zhang Qiling slipped between the boxes and the shelves, head ducked, so he didn't have to see.

"Um! Is there!" The human was not only a head. Oh good. "Is there something I can help you with?" It squeaked, in tones that were approaching 'sounds only a dog can hear'.

In a moment of ridiculous, fragile bravery, he held out The Paper, his thumb carefully over the xx<3, which was his and not for outsiders.

"Oh gosh, right, glad I was already restocking! Here, do you want two jars or two crates? It's cheaper per unit to get the whole crates--"

The tower of human-piloted boxes stopped, put it's breaks on with a deft gesture of a tiny foot, and began to dismantle itself. The tiny human appeared from behind the stack, beaming.

"Two. Crates?" He requested, a hand on a precariously balanced box.

The tiny human bobbed it's head and passed over a crate, labeled "24x400g". A second was unearthed from beneath a box of seaweed sheets.

"I'll take this to the counter for you--"

"No need." He lifted the first box to his shoulder, and boosted the other up on top of that.

"Oh! Okay! Great, good luck with your-- enjoy your purchase!"

He bobbed his head, sidled past the cart of boxes, and escaped.

[lovelytsunoda]

bump in the night // alex albon

summary: y/n hates being scared, so when alex freaks her out on movie night, he takes advantage of that. or, where alex pranks y/n until he really can’t explain why the lights suddenly went out

pairing: alex albon x female reader

warnings: alex being a prankster, very small itty bitty (oral) smut scene towards the end. fear of the dark, mentions of appendicitis and alex's recovery. 'daddy' is used in a joking and non-sexual context.

authors note: the cozy collection is almost complete and i'm actually getting so emotional??? unless i can pull more ideas out of a hat, it's just charles and george left and then i start planning for christmas

it was dark and windy outside, curtains drawn closed and windows shut, pumpkin scented candles burning on the coffee table. y/n and alex were curled up next to each other on the couch, a plush calvin klien blanket thrown over the duo, y/n's hand clutching on to alex's as she jumped.

the driver laughed under his breath as y/n elbowed him in the chest.

"i thought you said that this movie wasn't scary!"

"i didn't think that it was!" alex defended, rubbing at the sore spot on his ribs

"well, you were wrong!"

"you weren't unsettled when we watched silence of the lambs! how is this one scary?"

"because it just is!"

alex laughed, straightening on the couch before kissing the side of y/n's head and putting an arm around her shoulders as she rested her head on his well-built body. "let me protect you, sweetheart."

"jackass." she said softly, lacing alex's fingers with hers.

the movie finished half an hour later. alex said that he was going for a shower and y/n set about cleaning up the living room, trying to take her mind off the gory movie that had just finished.

she blew out the pumpkin spice candle, placing the glase bell-jar lid back over top of the wax before she folded the blanket, humming to herself as she tidied.

without warning, the room was plunged into darkness, the haolgen bulbs set back in the ceiling blinking out. the sudden descent into darkness caused the young woman to jump, hitting her knee on the corner of the coffee table as she yelped.

the lights came back on, and she saw alex standing by the switch, trying desperately not to laugh.

"alexander albon!" she shouted. "that was so not funny!"

his hair was damp. he had just gotten out of the shower. the idea had come to him while he was washing the last of the red dye out of his hair, when he thought about a way to bring in the halloween spirit.

"it was a little bit funny!"

y/n rolled her eyes. "i hit my knee on the table. it's gonna bruise like hell now."

"sorry, baby." alex said quietly, moving closer and pulling y/n into his arms. "how about you leave the rest of the tidying for the morning, and we go snuggle underneath the mountain of blankets waiting for us in the bedroom" he lowered his voice, whispering in y/n's ear. "and i'll protect you from all the things that go bump in the night."

_________

the next incident was three days later, she was working on a paper for her contract law class, earbuds in and effectively dead to the world. alex was out with patrick for his morning run and training session, trying to keep in shape for suzuka without over exerting himself or pulling any stitches from his operation.

y/n wouldn't be joining him due to her midterm exams.

she'd missed the last four races because of school, with an exception for her flight out to italy after he was admitted into surgery, frantically emailing her professors and calling it a 'family emergency'.

her fingers flew across the keyboard, laptop screen reflecting off her blue light glasses. she truly was in a world of her own.

which is where alex got that terrible, horrible, no good idea.

he had just come back from training with patrick, soaked in sweat and exhausted. and that's when he saw y/n: poking his head through the living room doorway to see her curled up under the blankets, lit candle on the table next to her.

how funny it would be, he thought, to sneak up on her?

and that's just what he did, creeping into the room on the tippy-top of his toes, devilish grin on his face.

she looked so peaceful like that. serene, almost, as she started at the screen, then at her notes and back, delicate fingers flying across the keyboard.

she was so concentrated, that when she felt the pressure on her shoulders, there was nothing she could do but scream, leaping out of the chair with enough effort that it fell over onto alex's socked feet, and y/n almost tumbling over the desk behind her as she turned to face her attacker, yanking out her airpods.

"alex? what the fuck!"

alex was lying on the ground, where he had fallen, startled, after she got up from her chair. he was laughing like mad, bringing his hands up to sheild his face as she playfully nudged him in the ribs with her foot.

"sorry, baby! it's just too easy!"

y/n rolled her eyes. "jokes on you, you're not getting laid tonight."

_________

"you taste so good, darling. i'm going to miss this while i'm gone."

y/n moaned, throwing her head back against the cabinets as she fought the urge to clench her thighs together around alex's head.

it was an unholy scene in the couple's kitchen: y/n was perched on the countertop, cable knit sweater bunched up over her hips, alex's warm, large hands keeping her thighs spread wide as he slowly licked at her sopping core.

there was no rush on either side, alex intent on making this moment last as long as possible before he was due to fly to japan. one of his least favorite parts of surgery recovery was being told that he couldn't participate in 'vigorous activity', sex falling under that category.

now that he had been medically cleared to race (because that was still a grey area in singapore), the driver was trying to make up for lost time.

"ah, alex!" y/n whined, running her fingers through his hair. "i need more. can you go a little faster, please."

he didn't pick up the pace, instead wasting no time in inserting two fingers, knuckle deep. y/n found herself clapping a hand over her mouth to stop herself from screaming in pleasure and concerning the neighbors.

"mhm, don't cover your mouth, babygirl. i want to hear every little sound that you make for me."

"oh god, alex!"

it wasn't long before she came on his fingers, breathing heavy and covered in a cold sweat as alex pressed a warm cloth to her thighs to clean her up.

"do you have to go to japan? can't you let nyck drive again, say something went wrong with your recovery?" y/n said quietly, her forehead resting against alex's, fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

"i wish i could, darling. i know you hate it when i leave."

she slid off the counter, pulling alex in for a hug and resting her head on his chest. "at least i have time off for texas."

"at least you'll be in texas. i'll call you every day, regardless of the time difference."

"i wouldn't expect anything less." y/n gently pulled away, picking up her jeans and panties from the tile floor. "i'm gonna go for a shower, and then maybe we curl up on the couch together and watch a not scary movie?"

alex chuckled, kissing her gently. "of course, my love. whatever you want."

"and could you clean the counters for me? you know, since it's your fault they got dirty in the first place?"

alex rolled his eyes, but the truth was that y/n had him wrapped so well around his finger that he would pretty much do anything for her.

y/n was in the shower, warm water cascading over her back as she ran her shampoo-covered fingers through her delicate strands of hair, cinnamon bun-scented soap bubbles dripping down her limbs.

alex was in the kitchen, lysoling the entire counter where the couple had their earlier escapades. for reasons alex couldn't explain, the kitchen had quickly become his favourite place to fuck. there was something about the simple domesticity of it all that really turned him on. for that reason, the kitchen was always fully stocked with lemon scented lysol.

the outage was sudden, the house plunged into total darkness with no explanation. alex dropped everything the moment that he heard y/n scream.

she hated the dark, she always had. so when her shower was plunged into darkness and she was momentarily unable to see her hands in front of her face, so couldn't stop the terror creeping in.

"alex!" she shouted stumlbing out of the shower and groping the tile wall for her plush bathrobe. "if this is some kind of foreplay for you, i swear to god!"

alex almost tripped ober his own feet as he charged up the stairs, pushing the bathroom door open. the shower was off, but the steam was still heavy in the air. he knew y/n was terrefied of the dark, that's why when he turned the light out to be funny, it was never for longer than half a minute.

never long enough for the terror to set in.

"y/n, sweetheart? i'm right here, everything is okay." he said, using his phone flashlight to find her in the cavernous bathroom. the navy blue paint on the walls only seemed to make the dark room feel smaller as he pulled his girlfriend into the safety of his warm embrace.

"it wasn't you, right? the lights, i mean."

"the ones in the kitchen won't turn on. i think its an outage."

"fuck." she wrapped her still-damp arms around alex, hiding her face in the side of his neck. she was starting to relax until she heard a crash come from downstairs.

"what the fuck was that?" alex asked, nerves on edge. "babe, stay here."

she shook her head. "please don't leave me alone up here."

"right, right. i'm sorry, just stay behind me, okay?"

they walked down the stairs together, y/n always one stair behind alex, fingers digging into his shoulders as the driver held his phone out, the small flashlight illuminating the kitchen as the couple walked towards the patio door.

"can you see anything?" y/n asked, voice shaky.

alex shook his head. "not yet."

anxiety was high as there was another sound coming from the living room, something that sounded like a candle jar falling onto the plush carpet. they both jumped, and y/n was sure that her nails were going to cut through the fabric of alex's t-shirt, leaving marks in his tanned skin.

two dark shapes padded across the lving room floor, darwing closer and closer to the couple as y/n tried not to freak out.

"alex, they're coming closer!"

the driver moved back quickly, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he tried to escape, shining his flashlight on the floor before he burst into laughter.

y/n, who had her eyes clamped shut, didn't see what alex saw. "what is it, why are you laughing?"

"babe, open your eyes. everything is okay. it's just the cats."

she opened her eyes and let out a massive sigh of relief as she looked down and saw the housecat snuggle up to her bare leg. she laughed to herself before she bent down and scooped gucci into her arms, holding the cat close and burying her nose in his fur.

"you gave mama quite a scare, little one." she said quietly, chuckling to herself as alex picked up horsey. "grab my laptop while we're down here, we can watch a dvd in bed."

alex grinned. "i think i have a copy of talladega nights lying around here somewhere."

"babe, i will do a lot of things for you, but subjecting myself to talladega nights is not one of them." smiling to herself, she turned back to the cat in her arms. "what's daddy like, hm guc?"

"well if you keep talking like that," alex hummed, sliding 'hocus pocus' off the dvd shelf. "we won't even make it past the opening credits."

"in your dreams, albon."

[ask-sebastian]

[a familiar tawny owl lands on your desk and drops down a large brown parcel. there is an orchid tied to the front and inside a small pot and soil for the bloom, as well as a collection of your favourite treats, a jar of fresh coffee grounds and a few beast treats]

Seb,

Its been a while and it feels strange to say I miss you when we're in the same house and share a common room, but with all the running around to catch up after my time off I haven't had much time to spare for my favourite people. I hope you've been taking care of yourself, I've put together a little care package for you so that I know you're eating something.

Hopefully things will calm down soon and we can meet and catch up. The kitten misses you (although, she's grown considerably since you last saw her) and will meow in indignation every time I try and take your scarf away from her so I can return it to you

PS; the treats are obviously for Nosey (but apparently are safe for human consumption as well). Please give the little ball of joy a kiss on the head from me.

Sebastian gave the orchid a contemplative look as he set it aside. He would need seek some advice on how to keep the flower alive in the dim chill of the Slytherin dorms from someone with better herbology skills than he possessed.

Before he could unpack the rest of the parcel, he felt a familiar clawing up his trouser leg. He shifted back in his chair just enough so Nosy could scramble up. Sebastian laughed quietly when Nosy immediately planted his hind paws on his lap and stretched up toward the box, nearly dragging it off the desk when he tried to peer down in.

"An impatient one today..." Sebastian wrapped an arm around his furry middle and gently pulled him back down, then leaned over and retrieved the pouch of beast treats from the parcel. He dangled it enticingly in front of the Nosy's snout, but instead of taking it eagerly, Nosy turned him, his snout lifted in what could only be described as an affronted tilt whilst he chittered and squeaked unhappily. A proper, huffy telling-off, if nifflers were capable of that sort of thing.

"Spoilt rotten..." he muttered without any real sense of irritation. He wrestled Nosy away from the box again as he pulled open the pouch with his teeth and dumped the contents in a small bowl next to Iris's perch. At least she was more easily appeased.

With a wriggling Nosy tucked under one arm, Sebastian finally reached into the small package of treats with his free hand and pulled out a fresh pasty. Nosy immediately made a wild flailing grab for it, but Sebastian held it just out of reach.

"Ah, ah, ah." Sebastian took a hearty bite, large enough that there was only half a pasty left, and sighed happily. Spiced apple. His favourite this time of year, and as tempting as it was to devour the whole thing, he instead held out the other half to Nosy, who did not hesitate swiping it from his hands. Finally appeased, the niffler settled happily into Sebastian's lap to enjoy his treat.

Sebastian patted him affectionately, dropping a couple kisses in his head just as the letter instructed, and penned his response.

It seems difficult to find time to slow down these days, but I do hope that my owl finds you well and that you are in good form. As always, I thank you for your generosity. The treats are delicious. (Nosy agrees.)

Sebastian glanced down. His lap was full of an excess of niffler and crumbs, but there was no holding back his smile.

I promise that I am taking care of myself--to the best of my ability at any rate. Decently watered, semi-regularly fed, and minimally well-rested. Before you protest, I shan't hear a word about it. There are just some things that will never change.

By the way, don't fret about attempting to return the scarf. It's been so long out of my possession I can hardly claim any sort of ownership now. Please accept it with my compliments.

Until we meet again, Sebastian

[levil0vesyou]

Oh hey, I realised I can just ask for advice!

(Note: This is (mostly) not ebegging (nothing wrong with ebegging, just wanna be clear) even if it may sound that way in the first section. Please keep reading. It's pretty long tho, sorry. I'll put it under a cut as I am planning to pin it but please, please read it, especially if we're mutuals. Reblogs are welcome, especially within the german blogosphere, but don't feel obligated.)

So as some of you know, my flatmate has locked me out of the kitchen because I didn't have money for groceries and thus kept eating his food. This includes the electric kettle, microwave and most cutlery but I did accidentally keep a spoon that I still have now. (I have a small bottle of dish soap so yes, I can reuse it as I do still have bathroom access.)

I have since received my first unemployment payment which, due to my previous (necessary) overconsumption is mostly gone again now. I have 20€ and change (cash so paypal and my other debtors can't seize it) left for the rest of the month (new unemployment payment should arrive on the 1st) but I'm struggling to make it stretch.

I've been trying to search up advice on this but couldn't find anything useful. If you have links or anything, that'd be awesome. Here's the key points:

I live in Germany so subject to the German costs of living. Because I also can't afford public transport fare, my store choice is pretty much limited to a small-ish Rewe nearby. There's also a Mäc Geiz and a pharmacy but ofc those aren't grocery stores.

I do not have food allergies but I am a vegetarian and unless I'm literally dying, this situation will not change that.

As mentioned I have no access to a kettle, a microwave, a stove, a fridge or any of that. I do have access to my popcorn machine (many years of trusty service, real mvp) but that's it. I have access to a spoon and a sharp knife. Not a chef's knife tho. I do not have access to spices.

My mental health is still very bad, I cannot leave the house some days and I don't think I'd be able to do anything elaborate. Thus, whatever I eat has to be easily (or not at all) prepared but not easily perishable.

At this point, my standards are very low. My current main thing is eating unheated canned food but I'm prepared to eat basically anything I can stomach (excluding meat, as mentioned) in any way that is possible for me. I'm eating unseasoned chickpeas out of a jar right now. They're actually pretty good. I also (under normal circumstances) sometimes eat dry pasta for funsies so that might give you an idea.

I eat a lot. Less at the moment but still above average. I need plenty of carbs or I will still be hungry after. Essentially, pretend I'm feeding two people here.

I keep craving salt. I'm usually decent at telling what foods my body needs by cravings so I've been eating many crisps since I no longer have a spice cabinet. But they're 'spensive. I've also been craving eggs but I have no way to indulge since afaik boiled eggs are only sold around Easter. Also fruit juice but I can eat some vitamin gummies I still have instead, that'll probably be fine.

As stated, the budget is 20€ for 1½ weeks. I do have a bit of food already, some Zwieback, a pack of Leibniz cookies, a small jar of applesauce, a (hopefully not too spicy) can of chili sin carne, stuff like that. Also some hardtack I made months ago and just now remembered, but not a lot of it and I have no way to soak it, tho I might be able to clean an empty can.

While I'm not hoping to inflict permanent damage on my body, I am willing to take a few more risks than I usually would. That said, I can barely handle one or two short grocery trips a week so foraging isn't a good option at the moment. Also, laundry situation is difficult rn so avoiding diarrhea would be awesome 👍

While I am unemployed and legally homeless (I just haven't left yet) I have no documentation for this at the moment. I mention this because some food banks and similar require such documentation. Also, again, I have a very low travel range rn (like... 200m. 500 on a good day) but if you know like some kind of... delivery food bank?? that exists in Bavaria (dm me for the city) that would be incredible.

No, I can't get a job. I literally just tried that (again) and have reached a personal new low as a result. There were some in-between steps (like that fucking clinic) but yea, that's not an option. No, not even home office. No, not even freelance.

This one might seem entitled but. I cannot keep eating the same thing. I do have my samefoods (tho I cannot cook pasta rn for obvious reasons) but especially lately, eating the same thing for more than two or three days in a row has been low key driving me insane. Might be because I've been mostly cut off from society for months, might be because my body is sick of it, who knows. But I need variety. Same thing twice a week is fine, but more than that is pushing it. I'm very sorry.

As stated, this is not an ebegging post and I want nobody to feel any kind of obligation but if we're mutuals and you have a German bank account (or Schengen and are willing to pay the fee) and you desperately want to, you may dm me about it. But you do not have to!!! And I literally only say this because I know what it feels like to be on the other end of this. No, paypal is not an option, I'm triple digits in the red there. Water droplet on a hot stone etc.

What I am looking for is advice, especially from people who have dealt with severe financial issues and/or homelessness/kitchenlessness before. I've been kitchenless before but I had a fridge, microwave and somewhat reasonable money then so it didn't really prepare me. You can either comment or reblog directly or you can dm me or send me an ask. Anon is enabled.

Either way, thank you so much for taking the time to read all this! I love you, may you have a good day <3

[charcuteriecrab]

what are you willing to sacrifice for peace? (Part 5)

a Resident Evil fanfiction

For @aussiepineapple1st

Rating: M (18+)

Contains: blood, strong language, description of injuries, gore (?), sex

Tags: pre-relationship chreon, post-vendetta, major character injury

Word Count: 3304

Part 5/7 Part 1 <- Previous | Next ->

NOTE: this chapter is NSFW and is only for those 18+

[An excerpt because of the 18+ content]

Chris watched as Leon went into the bathroom, clothes and products in hand. He was grateful that Claire had bought some things for them earlier—his apartment usually didn’t have food or basic hygiene products. Luckily, she had the chance to go to the grocery store before Leon was released and make sure they could survive for the next couple of weeks without going out. 

The bathroom door clicked shut, and Chris blinked, turning to the kitchen. Leon would be fine. If he needed anything, he would call. Chris was still concerned about his injuries, his stomach twinging uncomfortably as Leon left his line of sight, but all the man could do now was rest. Hopefully he would be okay enough by the time the DSO called on him. Fortunately, after pulling some strings at the BSAA, Chris was able to convince them to let him have this impromptu vacation so he could take care of Leon. He was fairly certain Rebecca had been the one to convince them.

Peeking into the pantry, he spotted a box of spaghetti noodles and some meat sauce sitting at the front. Spaghetti. That was easy. Chris was pretty sure Leon liked spaghetti—he seemed to have expressed interest in the different pasta dishes at one of Claire’s barbecues back in the day. The meal seemed like the best option for now. Grabbing a pot, he began to boil the water, putting some salt in before looking in the spice drawer. Luckily, he had some dried basil left from the last time he went shopping and he grabbed the small jar. He liked to add extra flavor to the food he made.

He heard the shower turn on, the water moving through the piping audible. Chris leaned against the counter, waiting for the noodles to finish cooking. He hoped Leon would like it. He was a little nervous about having the man live with him for the next month, not because he didn’t want him there—he definitely wanted him there—but because he wanted to make sure Leon felt comfortable. He wasn’t sure where exactly they stood with each other and he wasn't about to mess this up. Leon meant too much to him; he didn’t want to be too forward. Plus, Chris could tell that something was bothering the man, and he just wished Leon would talk to him. They had cleared up their feelings for each over the past month, sharing kisses and freely touching each other, but there was something in Leon’s eyes that made Chris think that the younger man didn’t believe Chris’ feelings were real, and that made his chest ache. He would have to prove it to him somehow. He wasn’t leaving—no matter what happened. He promised himself he would help Leon recover, physically and mentally.

The pot began to boil and Chris threw the noodles in, frowning as he imagined Leon in that bar again. If he hadn’t shown up when he did…he didn’t want to think about how much more the man would have drank—

How far he would have gone.

| Next-> |

[spooniechef]

Lasagne (1-2 spoons)

Another one that serves well for both your “batch cooking” needs and your “stick it in the oven for awhile without doing much else to it” needs is lasagne. I like lasagne but had never made it myself; gluten-free ready-meal lasagne exists but is too expensive, so I gave it up for awhile after discovering the gluten intolerance issue. Still, I was interested enough in trying to make my own that I asked for a baking dish for Christmas a couple of years ago, and is part of why I started getting into the concept of batch cooking to help save spoons in the first place. Lasagne’s hearty, has all the food groups you need, and keeps well in the freezer, so it seemed like a good way to start.

I’m going to start with some notes, because there’s a couple of different ways to approach lasagne sauces. You can just buy the stuff in jars, but while I recommend that for the white sauce (bechamel sauce is a pain in the ass), the red sauce in jars is never quite as good. So here’s a rough approximation of my recipe for bolognaise sauce, since it’s going to be a key component here.

Here’s what you’ll need:

1 packet ground beef (not too fatty, but not too lean either)

1 large onion, chopped

Spices to taste (I generally use paprika, chilli powder, celery salt, garlic pepper, and seasoned salt)

1/2 zucchini (or courgette if you live on my side of the Atlantic), quartered

1 packet button mushrooms, sliced

1 can / packet passatta (if you can’t find passatta, just get a can of chopped tomatoes and use a blender / hand mixer to get the right consistency)

2 tablespoons tomato puree

3-6 cloves garlic, minced

1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce

1 tablespoon steak sauce (A1 works best, but any barbecue sauce will do)

1 tablespoon soy sauce

1/2 teaspoon tabasco sauce

1 beef stock cube

Pepper, basil, oregano, sage, thyme to taste

Quick note on the herbs - I'm generally talking about fresh herbs in those situations. Another thing I did when I got my diagnosis was start an herb garden on my balcony and windowsills. I highly recommend it for the dedicated foodie - even those of us with limited spoons. I’ll go into why in another entry, and show just what can be accomplished with limited spoons and a north-facing apartment in a country famous for being overcast a lot. But for those who don’t have an herb garden, use about a half-teaspoon each of dried or a tablespoon or so of the mixed Italian herb blends you can buy and that should be fine.

Here’s what you do:

Spice the meat to taste; in a large, deep frying pan, cook the meat and onion until the beef is mostly browned and the onions are transparent

Add garlic, mushrooms and zucchini; heat for 1-2 minutes

Add everything else; stir thoroughly so everything is fully mixed

If you have one, put a lid on the pan; let simmer on medium-low heat for at least 20 minutes

The stock cube gives the sauce a nice bit of earthy richness, and the various sauces give it a bit of depth and kick - all of it acting as a complement to the beef. If you’re a vegetarian, just leave out the beef and the beef stock cube and use the entire courgette and another packet of button mushrooms.

This is good as a batch-cooking staple because it keeps well, freezes well, and can be used either just as a standalone pasta sauce, as the sauce for a pasta bake, or as the red sauce for a lasagne. Because it keeps so well, you don’t even have to decide on which right away. But for the sake of the rest of this post, lasagne.

Here’s what you’ll need:

1 can white sauce (otherwise known as bechamel; if you want to make it yourself, you’re a braver person than I am)

Red sauce (see above, or use your own variation, or just a jar of the store-bought stuff in a pinch)

Little bit of oil or butter

1 packet lasagne sheets

1 packet cheese (cheddar or mozarella) to top

This becomes a one-spoon recipe if your red and white sauces are pre-made, one way or the other. It’s a two-spoon recipe if you’re making bolognaise for it fresh on the day. I figure trying to make your own white sauce would bring it up to three spoons, which is why I don’t advise it.

Here’s what you do:

Preheat oven to about 355F (180C, 160C fan assist, gas mark 4)

Grease your baking dish on all sides and along the bottom (this will stop things sticking to the baking dish and make serving and cleaning easier)

Coat the bottom of the baking dish with a layer of the red sauce; cover with a layer of lasagne sheets; spread a layer of white sauce over that

Keep alternating red / noodle / white for about three layers (that should see you to the end of the jar of white sauce); make sure that the top layer is completely covered by the white sauce

Top the entire thing with a layer of cheese

Bake for 45 minutes or until the top is bubbling and lightly browned

Just one note this time, and it’s about the same as the one I gave about the chicken broccoli pasta bake - if you’re using dairy-free cheese, you probably won’t get the same bubbling and browning as you would with regular cheese. You should still take it out of the oven at about the 45 minute mark.

So there you go - two recipes for the (nonexistent) price of one - pasta sauce and lasagne. Depending on your preferred portion size, the lasagne should make 4-6 servings, and again, it keeps well and freezes well, so it’s good even if you only have yourself to cook for.

[moonstrider9904]

Castle Town

Chapter 3 of Night Personified

{series masterlist} | {next chapter} {previous chapter}

{crossposted to AO3} {join my taglist!} {crossposted to wattpad}

WitchHunter!Crosshair x Fem!Reader x Warlock!Maul

Chapter Summary: You and some of your fellow witches find yourselves at a social gathering, and as much as your mind lingers on the mysterious warlock from the forest, you end up joining hands with someone else.

Tags: Mature. Mentions of persecution and being hunted. Alcohol consumption.

Word count: 4.1k

Songs: my castle town

A/N: At long last, the next chapter is here! I am so sorry for the long-ass time between updates. Please know that, despite my focus on other projects, my love for this story never faded, and your comments and praise and excitement has helped keep that alive as well. I continue to be grateful for all your love and support. 

I cannot promise you that updates will be coming more regularly or frequently as things are still hectic. Please, accept this as a Samhain gift for now, and I hope to be writing on the regular again someday.

If you like, please consider reblogging!

Also, please enjoy this beautiful new banner made by the incredible @eloquentmoon whom I adore with all my heart!

Hiding in plain sight. That is what you thought you would be doing, what you hoped wouldn’t turn against you. If it did, it would be deadly.

“Not going will be more dangerous,” Ahsoka’s voice tore you from your trance. “With his sheer amount of cunning, he’ll know perfectly well who didn’t show up, and why.”

You managed to look away from the dress resting on your bed to meet Ahsoka’s blue eyes, your face rendered a question mark.

“He?” You asked.

She hesitated, as if she feared speaking. “The emperor. Who else?”

You gave a quick shake of your head, embarrassed to have forgotten such a key detail.

“Right,” you answered. “Sorry, it just feels as if it’s been so long since this began.”

“And yet, it’s only been a week,” Ahsoka spoke, her tone lowering again.

One week since it had begun—the realization hit you as well when, looking out at the dark window, you realized that night would mark the night of Samhain.

And you wouldn't be dancing with your fellow witches. You wouldn’t have your hands joined with them, you wouldn’t be chanting around the fire, making spell jars, cooking and baking and brewing with the season’s many spices that delighted your nostrils even in dreams.

You and Ahsoka let your gazes travel to the floor, both in heartbreak at the notion of a coven being forced apart.

“Hosting a ball at the height of the social season,” Ahsoka commented with a grim laugh. “Do you think he knows what we celebrate today?”

You absently looked at the fabric of your dress as you picked it up in your hands. “It’s disgusting to think we’re going to have to spend Samhain under his eye rather than in the forest with each other. Yes, I think he knows. I reckon he thinks he couldn’t have chosen a better day.”

“That wicked man,” Ahsoka said.

You gave a sad smile as you looked at your roommate; Ahsoka was already dressed with one of her finest gowns, one dark brown in color with lace-like patterns embroidered on the fabric with thread only a tone darker than the base, making it barely noticeable, but not less beautiful once it was noticed. You then looked at the dress in your hands again, one of a similar trim to Ahsoka’s but with a rich, burgundy fabric, excluding the lace patterns. Your gown seemed simple, at first, but its color would be what truly caught others’ gazes. Its skirt was not too frilly yet not too slim, it was a perfect A-line that would flatter you for the night, but your favorite detail was, by far, the deep red satin that lined the edges of the sleeves and the bust.

“At least we’ll look pretty,” Ahsoka grinned, though you didn’t know how much truth she held in her optimistic intention.

“Suppose so,” you answered. “I should put this on.”

“I’ll leave you to it,” Ahsoka said as she gave you a more sincere smile before leaving your room.

With a doubtful glance at the mirror, you began to undress, replacing the reliable old clothes you wore with the elegant ball gown. Though you were surprised at how much you liked the look of red on your skin, you couldn’t shake the thought of how many more things you would rather be doing on such an important night. This night, a Samhain night that happened to fall on a new moon, was supposed to mark the height of your power, the essence of being a witch.

And you would have to spend it fending for your life in the act of stepping into the Emperor’s castle. What a cruel irony, you told yourself, that even if the Emperor didn’t capture a witch, he would still inflict his own type of torment onto her by making her go if she didn’t want to raise any questions. That alone marked a victory for him, at least for that night.

Grooming your hair was not a task that took you very long, and you decided to simply add a little heirloom crowning the top of your head. A carefully woven golden tiara lined with artificial flowers and gemstones. It not only harmonized with your gown, but the flowers and gems made you think of herbs and crystals. It wasn’t obvious that it would be owned by a witch, but it would be enough for you for that night.

You and Ahsoka left the house together and walked in silence towards the castle. You decided against arriving separately—everyone knew you lived together, and not arriving that way would probably cause suspicion. As you arrived at the castle, you avoided eye contact with the royal guard, not that it wasn’t customary to do so, at least with the ceremonial guards who were armored and standing completely still. They were so still and fully covered in iron that you’d heard people around town speculating they were merely empty suits of armor.

You knew better than that. You knew the Emperor preferred his illusions of power different, but anything regarding military strength would never be a fake for him.

You began worrying, however, when you noticed figures between the armored members of the royal guard. People who were clothed differently wearing only partial sets of armor, mainly chest plates and shoulder pads, and who were dressed elegantly enough to partake in a soirée such as that one.

They’d be in the ballroom with you. The witch hunters themselves.

As you walked on, you tried your best to push the image of the silver-haired man out of your mind.

You and Ahsoka got in without a problem, and it felt like a good sign when you didn’t see too many pairs of eyes on you. It wasn’t a long way between the castle’s entrance and the ballroom, large and blindingly bright with the many chandeliers that dangled from the ceiling, their gleam enhanced by the diamond-like gems reflecting their light. At the other end of the rectangular room, across the center that already had some couples dancing, was the string band whose players were all dressed in the imperial color scheme. The melodies they played were beautiful, so much that a part of you felt it could dare to feel safe, as if you were in the ball of your dreams about to meet a charming prince.

But above the band, there was a balcony where three figures watched over the ball. The two guards flanking the sides were already ominous, but at the center was the Emperor himself, hooded and menacing.

You felt dread shower itself over you.

“Any chance the drinks are poisoned?” Ahsoka teased in an attempt to brighten the mood.

“He wouldn’t take such a big risk,” you answered. “How many people in this ballroom do you think want him dead?”

Ahsoka snickered. “Can’t be just the two of us.”

You walked shoulder to shoulder with Ahsoka through the sea of people that had gathered in front of the refreshments table—it appeared you wouldn’t be the only ones in need of a drink to get through the night. For a moment, you remembered you were at a social gathering when you felt the gazes of two men across the table on you, both looking at you with polite smiles, and one of them even raising their drink at you.

Even so, you couldn’t figure yourself less interested in them, and beside you, Ahsoka giggled.

“Right,” she said, flooded with sarcasm. “We’re here to find husbands, aren’t we?”

You gave her a playful eye roll when you finally reached for a drink for yourself, and without paying anyone any more attention, you and Ahsoka gracefully walked away.

“We’re here to prove a point,” you said.

“And what point is that?” She looked at you confidently.

Her smile seemed to spark something within you, a tiny gleam of will to fight back. Then, you met Ahsoka’s gaze and you returned her smile, fostering the little flame within you.

“That he can’t take our night,” you answered. “That we’re going to go back home tonight free as the birds in the forest, and he’ll be none the wiser, even with his little spectacle.”

“I like the sound of that,” said Ahsoka, clinking her cup with yours.

The two of you walked around the dance floor watching the couples there and briefly commenting as though it were any other occasion, and for a moment, nothing seemed wrong with the world. You could tell which couples were serious about their courtship and which ones weren’t just by the way they danced, but you particularly enjoyed looking at all the different gowns. Each one was exquisite and it reflected the personality of the person who wore it, and in little time, you gained a bit more love for your own gown and its rich red color.

Then, across the ballroom, you saw a familiar face. Fennec stood there wearing a deep orange gown that looked divine on her. Your features lit with a smile, and with your newfound confidence and sense of rebellion, you felt you’d walk across the floor and say hello to her. The conversation would certainly be merrier with someone else you knew, and it would take power from Palpatine if you were with another one of your kind.

But just as you began to move forward, an intangible force showering itself over you made you come to a stop, and a wave of cold coursed through you.

Don’t.

Your eyes widened the slightest bit in surprise, though you managed to control the rest of your body to not make your reaction as obvious.

You recognized that voice. Deep, smooth, sensuous, filling your senses as if he were standing right next to you, hovering over you the way he had at the forest when he spoke of chaos, of running away, of freedom. Slowly and with a serene expression, not daring to express the fear and delight you felt, you turned your body to face the window that led to the dark night.

Two yellow eyes watched you, but as soon as you blinked in disbelief, they were gone.

Was he really there? Was he watching you?

Why did you love the idea of him watching you so much?

“Look!” Ahsoka called with a brief little gasp. “The miss with whom the duke was dancing stepped on his toe!”

You grinned as you heard Ahsoka desperately try to hold in her laughed, and you had to do the same while watching a fully grown man with noble blood stumbling away from the dance floor wheezing in pain, leaving the young miss flustered on the dance floor, but not sorry in the slightest.

“You’d think a man of that rank and size would be able to handle more pain,” Ahsoka sneered.

Whispers and mumbles could be heard around you; everyone clearly talked about the same thing. It allowed some of your optimism to return, but you found yourself looking out the many large windows of the ballroom in search of the beautiful, haunting yellow eyes. You never found them, and you figured perhaps you’d be able to see them among the people gathered at the ball.

As the current song the band was playing drew nearer to its end, you looked around the crowd watching the dancing couples in search of Maul’s eyes. To your disdain, you didn’t find them there either, and instead you were left observing the people. Some were commoners, like you, but others were clearly of rank, like the duke whom you had a hunch had that toe step coming.

A few other faces called to you, such as the young and hopeful debutantes, or the widow who watched the dancing couples with a melancholic smile, or the man who’d tattooed half of his face as a skull and wore a red vest under his black coat—he called out to you the most. He had the same brown eyes you’d been thinking of earlier, the only ones capable of pushing those bright yellow irises out of your mind, but you’d been reluctant to dream of.

You still hadn’t apologized for hitting him with the branch.

The music ended and intelligible chatter filled the room. Just as your gaze was lost among the sea of people, you felt Ahsoka shifting next to you, her hand tugging at your sleeve just as you felt a new presence appearing next to you. You gave Ahsoka a quick look but she was already looking past you, and when you turned around to meet the new face, your heart made a leap.

Piercing brown eyes, one with a reticle tattoo over it, crowned by beautiful silver hair.

And you knew he meant you no harm, but a part of you still waited for the smooth voice to sound in your head, telling you to run away. Instead, it remained silent.

“May I?” The man then held his hand out to you, gesturing at the dance floor with his head low.

You looked over at Ahsoka, who already gazed at you with mischievous eyes that whispered get it. You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped you, and you found yourself looking at the archer again, who looked strikingly handsome in his black clothing topped by the chestplate of armor.

The armor reminded you what he was, but it didn’t stop you. To dance that night with one of the Emperor’s witch hunters, right in front of him, and getting out of there unharmed, it could be no bigger testament to the power you held, to the power you took from him and his henchmen. You felt pairs of eyes falling on you, those of people suddenly wondering if you would take the hand of the man proposing a dance to you.

You took it and followed him to the floor. His touch on your skin felt like a flame, a feeling enhanced when he held your hand out at his side, and his free hand went to your waist. You then took his shoulder, looking up at him, realizing just how much taller than you he was.

It was impossible not to smile.

The music began; a gentle and delicate tune on the piano to a tempo of three-quarters, perfect for a waltz. You and the archer bowed down as you held each other, and you rose to begin moving across the floor in tandem with the other couples who had joined.

You glided as if you’d known how to dance your entire life; he was great at leading you, his grip firm and tender on you, his gaze like a veil on your figure. The melody you danced to had a magical touch to it, one that seemed to isolate you from the rest of the couples on that floor and take you to a whole other realm.

Magical as it was, you were only brought back to the real world when you saw the pair of yellow eyes watching you outside one of the windows—or had you imagined them? Your attention was brought back to the archer almost as quickly as it had left him, though it seemed your little hiccup hadn’t escaped his observative gaze.

“What is it?” He asked, his voice a whisper of intimacy.

You felt heat rushing to your face. “N-Nothing.”

You had to find something else to focus on quickly, otherwise you’d come across as strange, or in the worst of cases, suspicious. It came to you as both a blessing and a curse when the archer smirked at you, amused; the confident, alluring curve of his lips made you shiver as you danced, and you were taken rather by surprise when he spun you delicately before holding you even closer to him, as the music in the background sounded like stars dropping on a lake.

“I…” your gaze fell on his cheekbone, causing you to chuckle nervously. “I’m sorry about that cut on your cheek. I’m afraid it looks as if it’ll leave a mark.”

To your surprise, he gave a smooth laugh. “I have many, don’t worry.”

Dancing with him softened your grip on reality, and sooner than you may have wanted, the beautiful piano melody drew to an end. You and the archer gave a final bow at each other before going your separate ways on the floor; you found your way towards Ahsoka, but it wasn’t without looking over your shoulder at him more than once.

“Something you want to tell me?” Ahsoka walked up to you, smiling. “You seemed pretty taken by your mystery man.”

You would have denied it, but the breathless laugh you let out gave you away. Had you been one of the young debutantes, you would have begun fanning yourself, possibly even fainted if only to let him heroically catch you.

“Will you dance with him again?” Ahsoka wiggled her brows at you.

“I’m not sure,” you giggled. “All I know is that it was wonderful.”

Ahsoka gave you an approving smile; she was never one to distrust you, and the previous week had only solidified that. Her cup had emptied while you were dancing with the archer, so she made her way back to the refreshments table with you following behind her.

As you did, you looked over your shoulder again, though this time, you didn’t find the archer with your gaze. You looked at one of the windows, hoping perhaps you’d still see the yellow eyes after your stunt on the dance floor.

But all you saw was darkness.

*

That one dance had been a highlight, and though your eyes had met with those of the archer a couple more times in the remainder of the soirée, you hadn’t been blessed with his proximity again. The night drew to its close and you were back at your house with Ahsoka, with no suspicions risen, no danger following you.

And yet, you sat in your bed, sleepless in the dark. There was less than an hour left of Samhain, and out there in the forest, a magic remained beckoning you to step outside. In a fit, you gathered your cloak and silently stepped out of the house, making your way through the forest towards the remains of Redwood House.

It was still a place of magic; you could feel it when you arrived. And, despite everything, you didn’t want to end Samhain without somehow visiting your coven.

The only source of light was the torch in front of you, and you noticed how dark it truly was without the light of the Moon. It seems there was no escaping the fact which that darkness represented, the dark times you and your fellow witches had been shrouded with against your will.

You thought back to the confidence you felt back at the Emperor’s ball, the way you’d told Ahsoka you’d take power from him, that he couldn’t take anything away from you so long as he didn’t know what you were. But there, standing in the darkness among the ruins of the beautiful Redwood House, you felt differently. You wouldn’t claim that you didn’t mean what you said; you did, more than anything.

You just didn’t know if it would ever amount to anything other than not letting the Emperor catch you, and that was something you weren’t fully alright with.

A twig snapped behind you, and you turned around, aiming your torch at the source of the sound. Could it be another witch? An animal? Or perhaps someone dangerous who would discover you and turn you in? You looked closely into the darkness in search of yellow eyes, finding hope within yourself.

Soon, however, you were met with the figure of a witch hunter, and yet, you managed to relax.

He looked at you not unlike he had when you’d danced with him, and his brown eyes looked down at the ground covered in ashen wood. His confidence faded when he looked at you, apologetically, returning to seriousness.

“Why have you come?” The archer asked you.

“Why have you followed?” You countered. “You’ve completed your mission here, you’re standing on the evidence. Why come back?”

He chuckled. “I got the feeling that a certain little witch would be stubborn enough to come here tonight.”

“Why tonight?” You asked, defensively. “Of all nights, why this night?”

“I’m a hunter of your kind,” he replied calmly. “We were told of any… important dates witches have. We’ve been ordered to hunt on those nights.”

You felt your body going cold. “Is that why you’re here?”

“I’m not here to hurt you,” he said, his voice smooth and coiled. He took a couple of paces closer to you, and you didn’t move away from him. The archer looked up at the pitch black sky as though he were lost in it, and oddly, you saw a bit of yourself in him.

“No moon tonight,” he commented.

“She’s there,” you replied. “She always is, she just isn’t shining right now.”

When your words were spoken, you two met eyes again, and only then you realized how close he was to you. His usually hard gaze had softened, and he looked at you as if he were trying to figure you out. After what felt like an eternity, his lips curved the same way they had back when you were dancing, but he managed to return himself to seriousness soon enough.

“Look, you shouldn’t be here,” he told you. “A horde of hunters will be here in less than an hour, and they’ll take you in for interrogation in the best of cases if you’re found.”

You wanted to trust him, to heed his words. You wanted to get out of there, and tell him to come with you, to not concern himself with the Emperor and his legions. But a part of you hesitated; you’d encountered this man on the night all this terror began, after all.

“What is your name?” He asked you.

Finally, you took a step back, your figure hunching in the slightest.

“How do I know I can trust you?” You whispered.

The archer wouldn’ question your doubts regarding him; you’d met him with his bow pulled on you, after all. He didn’t try to get closer to you, but you watched as he reached into one of the pockets on his vest and pulled out a tiny crystal attached to a chain. You couldn’t believe your eyes at first—it looked like a quartz, one of the most prominent crystals in a witch’s world. You paid close attention to it, and you couldn’t help but stare at it when you realized it was indeed a quartz.

Astounded, you met eyes with him again.

“Where did you get that?” You asked.

“It’s been with me for years,” he said softly. “I didn’t pry it off anyone you know, relax.”

You knew he was kidding, but your subconscious verified you’d never seen any fellow witches wearing a quartz necklace like that one.

“Why do you have it?” You asked him.

The archer finally sighed and let the hand holding the necklace drop at his side. “I’m not a stranger to magic.”

“Then why’d you burn this place down?” You challenged.

His gaze darkened as it averted from you, as though a phantom had slithered in front of him, freezing him with its presence.

“I had orders.”

The look he had in his brown eyes when he said the words wasn’t that of a man who’d followed them gladly. Then, when he finally looked at you again, seemingly snapping out of his trance, he held the quartz out again.

“The person who gave this to me said it’s for protection,” he said. “I…”

“You’re giving it to me?” You whispered.

He hesitated, looking away from you. “I guess I am.”

The archer then walked up to you and put the quartz in your hands, sealing your fingers around it. When he touched you, you felt the familiar heat, and you looked up at him with big eyes sparkling, suddenly compelled to embrace him, if only in gratitude.

He stared back at you, and you wondered if he felt the same.

“I have no desire to hurt you,” he broke the silence. “And that is why I’m begging you to leave now.”

You gave him a slow nod and turned around, and you were about to walk away before you stumbled to a stop, turning back to look at the archer one more time before telling him your name. His gaze fell on you again when you said it, and you noticed a brief smile appear on his lips at the sound of it.

“Crosshair,” he responded with his own name.

You managed a soft smile back, pleased to finally know his name as well. But you also knew it would be best for you to leave, and you were in no position to take more risks. Finally, you turned around and, clutching the quartz in your hand, you disappeared into the forest.

Taglist: @coffeyorky @and-claudia @the-sith-in-the-sky-with-diamond @stardust9905 @stardustbee @misogirl828 @nunanuggets

[akhuna]

Headcanon: Eskel baking

OKay, so I apparently needed this to be quiet and domestic, too, so here’s some little jumbled-up writing. It got quite long so I put it under the cut!

Eskel got a little jar of yeast from an old woman in a small village he travelled through on his way to the Kaer.

She needed help with something easy, not even monster-related, maybe she needs firewood chopped or a hole in the roof fixed. She’s all alone and can’t see very well and since she’s sometimes struggles to remember faces and names and forgets where she is, people are keeping away from her.

Eskel chops firefood for her and fixes the roof; it takes him like two days and by the time he’s ready, little snowflakes have started to fall. She doesn’t have any money, but she still bakes her own bread and so Eskel does ask for a little bit of her yeast dough, which she happily shares with him.

She also gives him some sweets she keeps for the children of the village who never want them.

Eskel puts the yeast jar under his shirt, carrying it close to his body, so that the yeast won’t spoil (it has become quite cold at night).

When he comes to the Kaer, he scrubs part of the kitchens and gets to work on the yeast, feeding it and helping it grow.

During his first days at the Kaer, he makes one or to additional trips to the next village to buy supplies and food for everyone; he buys some extra sugar and spices for the yeast (also raisins, in case he'd like to have a sweet treat).

On his way back, he starts singing softly to himself - he loves yeast bread but he never has the time to make it himself while being on the path, so he is really looking forward to his baking day.

The next day, he wakes up early and goes to the kitchen when nobody else is up yet.

He gets a fire going and warms a few stones by it so they are warm, but not hot and gets the pots and bowls out.

He starts the dough and lets it rise for a bit, while he goes to milk Lil’Bleater.

When he returns with the milk, the dough has risen a lot, so he takes off his jacket and gloves, washes his hands thoroughly one more time, turns up his sleeves and then gets to kneading.

The yeast smell creeps up his nose and he feels happy and content inside; he sometimes buys bread at bakeries, it’s so much better to knead the yeast dough himself, being able to inhaling it in full instead of catching a whiff from the bakery.

The dough turns from wet and sticky into silky and smooth and warm under his hands after a while. He loves the changes in the texture.

He’s humming to himself while he is working, relishing the muscles in his arms and shoulders getting a light workout.

As the morning grows older, the others are up, but no one is bothing him; they get into the kitchen, get their breakfast and then leave him to his baking, not wanting to break his focus. They know that this is special for him.

he loves how the kitchen’s warmth wraps around him - occasionally, he catches a cold draught from somewhere, bringing in the smell of snow, but that makes kneading all the more comforting.

He forms his bread and lets it rise again for a bit - while the dough is doing its thing, he starts tidying up the kitchen and heats up the oven properly.

when the time is up, he sets his knife to the dough, carving a symbol for a spell for peace and comfort into the dough and then puts it in the oven.

He stretches himself like a big cat, his arms and shoulders feeling pleasantly tired.

He makes sure the rest of yeast in the jar is well cared-for and sits in a warm place that doesn’t catch draught and won’t get too warm

then he waits patiently for the loaf of bread to done, already looking forward to the first bite and the next time he can get to baking again.

[dracwife]

decorating.

ship: junto word count: 1179 summary: art trade w/ @iantistic ! i told u i would make them happy and god dammit i did. kind of.

"What'dya think about this one?" Ianto glances back. 

When he turns, however, he realizes quickly he is standing alone there in the aisle.

"Ju?" He spins, confused. Not but a moment ago was the other behind him, talking softly about the scent of the cinnamon spice candle he'd just offered, retorting that perhaps the silly name of "Fall Leaf Crunch" wasn't quite so appropriate for such a scent. 

Had he known purchasing decorations for the Headquarters was going to be such a difficult task, perhaps he would have put together a list beforehand, like normal.

"No need, you'll be in and out I'm sure," that's what Jack had assured him as both he and Juette were brushed out towards the street, bus pass in hand and nothing but a wallet full of cash and to be quite frank -- a nigh impossible dream of getting a Halloween party together on such short notice.

Most things in the store were picked over already, leaving cheap decorations behinds, the plastic kind with defects from the molds, and that smelled of low-budget, chipping paint, that kind of must you can only get from a mass-produced, capitalist warehouse somewhere in some cheap costing labor factory far, far away. And beside those, the crumpled paper decorations, cardboard ripped already and bent and folded in ways that make them almost impossible to parse without close inspection. A few acceptable packages, or at least to Ianto's standards, were strewn about as shoppers decided against their purchasing last minute, though they were sparse as it was and as a result nearly impossible to find amongst the disarray of shelves. 

See, the thing is, Ianto is a planner. He likes things neat and organized, simple and clean. When one faces such inexplicable chaos daily, it’s no wonder that when given the opportunity, he would much prefer the comfort of familiarity and predictability to counterbalance the rest.

His brows furrow, and he turns back towards the shelf, though as he turns the other way he finds just that very person he had been searching for, and startled, nearly drops the candle. 

“Ah, there you are,” his voice is low, and he consciously and carefully replaces the jar back on the shelf. 

“Yeah?” Juette asks, leaning the brunt of  their weight against him now. Their head falls to the side as they too begin reading the labels of the leftover candles, a few less-crumpled decorations in their arms, that they quickly dump into the basket Ianto carries. 

“Was just looking for you, is all,” he reasons, hesitant to snake an arm around their waist, and instead allowing his fingers to brush against their side before he retreats them to his own, “What’d you find?”

They glance down, with a soft “Uhm,” before mentally ticking off the items they had just carried over, “Couple of silly things. Those paper skeletons. And the foldable pumpkins. I figure we can hang some streamers, too.”

Ianto nods, and begins leading them down the aisles again.

“I miss wax warmers.”

He looks over at them curiously, “You miss them?”

Juette shakes their head, a silent ‘It’s a future thing’ ringing through the action. 

“We can get some Cider. I have a great latte recipe for it as well.”

They snake through the supermarket, grabbing the last of what they can, filling their autumn basket with all the orange and purples and greens they can hold, the treats and decorations and everything else they can possibly muster until at last they find themselves on the bus back home, quiet now in the small period between lunch and dinner, when everyone was still at work.

For a moment, Ianto almost craved that sort of normalcy, a simple nine-to-five, where you can be twenty minutes late and miss nothing, sit in your little cubicle of safety all day until the sun half set, when you would finally pack it up and get on the likely delayed bus home, TV dinner waiting in the freezer and the flat, dirty and disheveled just as you’d left it in a rush this morning, feeling only half homey, the other some detached, capitalistic nightmare. Ironically, what a dream it would be.

But that decidedly was not the life he chose to live. And he’s reminded as such as his phone goes off again, a text from Tosh now about calibrating something-or-other when he got back. A smile blooms over his face as the body next to him shifts, leaning against him, to remind him of where he is now, and the friends he’s made, the love he’s found not just in the team that waits for him -- as difficult as it may be for him to see at times -- but also in the only person he could now see himself ever spending the rest of his life with. He looks down at them again, with the grocery bags piled at their feet and in their lap, and he hugs his own bag closer, wanting desperately to just fall asleep here, let the bus take them on its route perhaps the rest of the night, give them a chance to relax in the serene eve like this. 

“It’s chilly out, you know?” he mumbles. Juette scoots closer, their bare arms bundling into the sheer sweater they wear. It’s endearing to him -- their commitment to their fashion. He would have expected the future to be different perhaps, though it was not so distant. It was a strange sort of comfort to know that maybe it would not be, that things wouldn’t change all that much, hopefully in the right ways. Or maybe they too were just a peculiarity, a victim of circumstances and sought also the comfort of nostalgia, which of course to him would have been the present. 

It was funny, the way they seemed to come together like this, bound so tightly by the minutest details despite being worlds apart. 

“It’s not so bad.”

Ianto smiles, just slightly. He does not admit he finds it amusing, not as his arm slips around their shoulders for him to hold them just a little closer. And as they arrive back at the familiar door, and as Ianto holds it open to help carry in the bags, he does not say just how much he enjoyed their trip together, even if it was as something as simple as shopping, a grueling task for many, but to him the highlight of the day. He does not mention he thinks they look particularly cute in the fishnets they’ve chosen today, or those black studded shorts, either. 

And he doesn’t mention how much he loves them, as they begin to decorate the HQ, arms brushing as he reaches above where Juette cannot to hang decorations, soft smiles and lips grazing perhaps once or twice, or not at all if anyone were to ask. 

But he doesn’t at all say any of these things, not aloud.

Likely because when their eyes meet, and they both smile, he doesn’t say, because he knows that all of them are better left unsaid.

[dinosaurchurch]

One thing I will shamelessly admit I absolutely love is pumpkin spice scented or flavoured stuff. Fall is absolutely my favourite time of year for the scents and colours - heck even the candles that a lot of companies put out this time of year scratch that itch for me.

I wanted to try and make a dupe of some of the drinks I typically order from Starbucks although tone down on the sweetness (I don't really like sweet flavours save for cookies or other baked goods). I'm happy to say it's a success, really simple to make now that I have all the ingredients and needless to say much cheaper too.

I've perfected making cold brew and now I've perfected the pumpkin spice iced latte. I find that through a little bit of trial and error you can get good at anything culinary wise. Everyone has different tastes so you can tweak things as you go.

It's great to have made my own pumpkin spice blend too! I guess I'll be making these guys year round - that's a win-win in my land!

I used a 16oz mug here. All you need is 8oz of coffee, ice to taste, 1tbsp of maple syrup, 1/2 tsp of pumpkin spice, 1 tbsp of pumpkin puree, and 4tbsp of 18% coffee cream. Pour your coffee over ice in your mug, shake the rest of the ingredients in a mason jar with the lid on - pop the lid off and pour the mixture on top of the coffee then sprinkle a little bit more pumpkin spice over it. Voila! You're done!

Cold brew is really easy to make too btw. It's just a ratio of 1tbsp of coffee grounds per 3oz of water. I put my coffee grounds in some tea filters that I had (I typically buy the one's from David's Tea - they're sturdy and fairly cheap if you get them on sale). Pour cold water in with your coffee, let it sit for 18-20hours and then remove the coffee and keep your cold brew in the fridge. Enjoy.

Cheers and happy coffee drinking!