#and then not being able to get myself home in the event of said breakdown since i can’t fucking drive still

[miss-morland]

happy disability pride month i am too sad to go to work so i will be calling in

[moonlightazriel]

Turning page /// Azriel X F!Reader

Summary: 1 year after that terrible night, Y/N is back at the night court and ready to face everything she tried so hard to avoid.

Warnings: None, maybe some angst? Idk

Word Count: 3K

Notes: This is the part 2 to “Slow dancing in the dark” and being honest I originally planned to leave it like that but people asked for more and your wish is my command.

Main Masterlist

I woke up feeling the sun in my face, the cold breeze made me shiver, and i just wrapped myself even more in the blankets, fighting the urge to stay in bed, i got up, the cold floor made me hiss as i entered the bathroom, taking a hot bath, i putted my warmest clothes, getting ready for breakfast and for the day ahead.

Viviane was already sitting in the dining room, Frost was by her side, the little boy smiled at me as i kissed his head, Viv greeted me and i winked at her, paying attention to the toddler that showed me the new trick he learned.

“That's awesome buddy, i bet that you will be able to make giant stalactites when you're older.” The boy nodded happily, and looked at his mother, asking her to play outside, she allowed and he ran away.

“1 year today!” She started excited. “We love having you here, how are you feeling?” She was true concerned, but honestly i was feeling better, i would always be grateful and in debt with Viv and Kallias for opening their home for me, when i was nothing but a ghost.

“I'm good, better than i was back then, i have no words to describe how this place and you two helped me.” I said smiling at her and i felt a hand on my shoulder.

“You are more than welcome here, this is nothing compared to everything you have done for us.” Kallias commented and moved to his high lady, kissing her and sitting with us, they talked about court duties and about a dinner for me, i tried to tell them that it wasn't necessary but it didn't work.

“Y/N? Do you want to go ski with me and Frost?” She said pulling me out of my thoughts and i nodded, half an hour later the three of us were heading to the lake, i loved spending time with Frost and help him with his lessons, i was holding him in my lap as we walked, he giggled while he made snowflakes, gifting them to me and his mother.

We played with him until I got tired, sitting on a blanket we brought with us, I started to think about the events that got me here.

1 year earlier

He was my mate and he was with her, i screamed and cried my eyes out when i got home, my chest being torn apart, it was Rhys that calmed me down, he emerged from the shadows and found me laying on the floor having a severe breakdown, , i was hyperventilating and my voice was cracking with how much i screamed that night. He held me on his lap and waited for me to talk, he rocked me like a baby and i just cried in his chest until i hadn't any more tears left to cry.

“What happened my dear sister?” He asked, concern pouring out of him, i lifted my eyes until i met his violet ones, i didn't had the strength to tell him so i just looked at him pulling my shields down, i felt him gently going through my mind, he saw every little detail of the night, i felt his discomfort when he saw the bond snapping for me, if someone would understand the pain of watching your mate with somebody else, it would be Rhys. He just hugged me tighter and rested his chin on top of my head. “I know it hurts, i wished that i could take this pain from you, it breaks my heart to see you like this.” He kissed my forehead and got up. “I'm taking you home with me, Feyre is worried, do you want to go?” I agreed and he winnow us to the river house.

Feyre was waiting for us with a set of clothes and a warm bath for me, i thanked her and got inside the tub, feeling my body instantly relaxing as Feyre sat by my side, her gentle hands pouring water on my hair and cleaning the destroyed makeup off my face. I stayed a whole week with them, Azriel had tried to get in touch but Rhys didn't allowed him, telling him that he would only hurt me even more if he kept trying to talk to me.

I was laying on the couch, a child book on my hands while Nyx slept on my chest, Feyre and Rhys entered the room and they both smiled at the scene, it was Feyre who spoke first.

“You can’t tell the others, but I think you’re his favorite aunt.” I let out a small giggle and the toddler moved, burying his face on my chest. “I hope you are feeling alright, we have a proposal to you.” Rhys looked at me and started talking.

“We talked about the current situation, we're all worried about you, and I know you need time and space to heal, but I’m not so sure if you will be able to do that here.” I was feeling confused but it didn't take long for me to realize what was coming, i knew they cared about me and I felt my eyes getting full of tears as Rhys spoke again. “We love you and we just want what’s best for you, maybe you can use some time away? Obviously you can stay but we think it’s for the best if you just cleared your head on another place.”

“I don’t even know what to say.” I confessed, but I felt deeply glad that they were the ones to say this, I spended the whole week thinking about this, I knew my wounds wouldn’t heal if I kept around Azriel and Elain. “I’m going to be honest, i thought about going away, but I couldn't do this to my family, but now that you brought that up, i think I know where I want to go. And I’m not going to be away for long, I promise.”

The two helped me get in touch with Viviane, she was more than happy to receive me, we were friends for such a long time and I really missed her, I thought that maybe the cold winds of the Winter Court would help numb the pain in my chest. A week later, I was saying goodbye to my friends, the one person that didn’t know that I was leaving was Azriel, I decided that I didn’t owe that to him, I dedicated so much time of my life to him that this was the first thing I was going to do for myself, closing my end of the bond, I left.

Azriel

I never thought that was true when people would tell me that you only realize what you have lost once it’s gone, but I guess they’re right. I felt miserable every day since she left me on that alley, her words ringing on my head and her pained expression haunted my dreams every night, Elain at first tried to tell me that I should leave her alone, that she was overreacting and she didn’t deserve me, but I just couldn’t listen to her. Rhysand would tell me to go home every time I tried to talk to her, I just wanted to hold her in my arms and tell her everything was going to be okay, but I guess it’s hard to do it when you’re the problem.

I knew that she kept in touch with them, sometimes I would just look for Cassian and Nesta and both would be gone, I knew they were with her, but they wouldn’t tell me where, all I wanted was to just fly to her, and apologize, tell her how much I loved her, because if i’m being honest, I was completely in love with her. The things with Elain started to get a little out of hand when she mistaken my friendship for something else, i knew that I should have tell her off and explain that I didn’t felt the same for her, but I always thought that I didn’t have any chances with Y/N, and the feeling of having someone seeing me in a romantic way led me to this mess.

I didn’t know what to do, how do I tell her that she’s the one consuming my dreams and thoughts every day and night, how do I tell her that she makes my days brighter and her light pulled me out of the dark so many times? That I just wanted to hold her close and tell her she was the prettiest female I've ever seen, would she believe me? How could she? When I allowed her to think that I was in love with someone else?

It was two weeks after she left that I decided to be truthful with my feelings and Elain, she wasn’t happy but I told her that I wasn’t ever going to be fully hers while I was in love with Y/N, it wasn’t fair with neither of them, and she should try to get closer to her mate, I didn’t liked Lucien, but I waited for my mate for so long, it wasn’t fair if I just stealed his. Just like Y/N she left without looking back, Cassian and Nesta reassured me, saying it was for the best and would hurt her even more if I just kept pushing our relationship further.

It was Starfall night, I was in the corner drinking, the party was really great but still felt empty without her beautiful laughter filing the room, Elain had followed my advice and now she and Lucien were getting closer, slowly building their relationship, she even forgave me for everything and we were kinda of friends now, the couples were dancing around and the music was loud, but the beating of my heart was louder when I spotted Kallias and Viviane entering the room, behind them I spotted a familiar figure, she was wearing a deep blue mermaid style dress, her hair was in a low bun with tiny strands of hair framing her face and her makeup was perfect, she looked different and yet so similar, she had a white haired boy in her arms, the smile on her face as she poked the toddler belly made my heart clench. Every worry started to fill my mind, what if she didn't want to talk to me? Rhys and Feyre were the first ones to greet her, she was really beautiful, I couldn’t take my eyes off her, as she felt my gaze on her, she turned her attention to me, her smiled dropping a little as she looked directly in my eyes, drinking the rest of my wine, I got up to greet her.

Y/N

When Rhys and Feyre showed up on the celebration dinner and invited us to Starfall, I didn’t think I was going to be able to be around him, but as the day got closer, the courage started to grow inside me, I knew I couldn’t avoid him forever. Viv reassured me many times saying if I felt like leaving, they would get me out of there in no time, but even if I loved the Winter court, I missed my home and my family even more, I missed Azriel, the way he would look at me when we were alone on a library, how he would pretend he was mad every time I would beat him on training, I missed every little thing about him, and it was painful to pretend I didn’t.

When we arrived at the river house, the room was filled with music, conversations and laughter, I immediately felt my body relaxing, after all this was my home. Frost was in my lap playing with my hair while I told him that Nyx would love to play with him, Feyre and Rhys were the first ones to come talk to me, Rhys told me how happy he was to see me there and that Starfall would finally be complete again, I smiled at him, but there was this sensation of being observed, when I turned around, I spotted Azriel looking at me, he was even more beautiful than I remembered, but he looked a little different, slightly paler and with visible dark circles under his eyes, but yet he was breathtaking. He got up and started walking in my direction when someone got in the way, she was shorter than me, I looked down and met Elain, she didn't look me in the eyes and her voice was low when she asked if we could talk, excusing myself, I followed her to a more private space.

“It’s good to see you, you look better.” She started, I noticed the shaking in her voice and how she moved her hands nervously.

“Yeah, this time away made me wonders. But don’t worry, I’m here to enjoy my family, I won’t get in your way or Azriel’s.” I said and she looked at me, in the eyes this time.

“We’re not together anymore.” I let a surprise gasp left my lips, my eyes were slightly wide as I looked at her. “I wanted to apologize for everything I ever done to you, I shouldn’t have been so mean when all you did was to be nice and try to be my friend, is just that I saw how Az looked at you, and i thought that I was in love with him, I guess I was just jealous.” This caught me off guard.

“I appreciate your honesty Elain, and it wasn't like you had anything to be jealous off. “ I giggled and so did she. “This doesn’t matter now, not anymore, I just hope you’re happy.”

“I am, Lucien is actually really amazing and he understands me more than I excepted.” Her gaze was intense when she looked at me again. “You know he’s in love with you right? He told me when he broke up with me.” I felt my heart twisting in my chest. “But this is something he should be telling you, all i want is to be your friend if you want to.” Her voice was filled with expectations and I smiled at her.

“Of course Elain, what happened in the past stays in the past.” She smiled and pulled me in for a hug. She left the room right after and I followed her, Nesta was waiting for me with a glass of wine, I gladly accepted and started to dance with her, Azriel was nowhere to be seen and I didn’t felt like looking for him, not yet, i just wanted this moment to last a little longer. Mor announced that the Starfall was about to begin and we all should find our places to watch it. I rushed to one of the balconies on the top of the house, it was empty when I got there, the stars started their journey through the skies and I just stood there, silently watching it in awe when a voice sounded behind me.

“Can I join you?” Azriel asked and i nodded, it didn’t matter how many years passed, I would always be mesmerized by this event, the atmosphere felt magical as the stars passed for us, I turned to him, he had a small smile on his face. “You look devastatingly beautiful, the stars don’t stand a chance against your beauty.” I felt my cheeks getting hotter and looked at the skies again.

“Elain told me.” I said still not looking at him. “She said that you broke up with her and you’re in love with me.”

“I…” He stopped, and I looked at him, his eyes were focused on my face. “She’s right, I just wished that I had realized that earlier, before I hurt you so much that you felt like you had to go away.” I was about to protest when he continued. “I looked for you though, even if I did want to respect your space, I was dying to know how you were but you just disappeared.”

“I’m not going anywhere now.” I said and he pulled me closer, his breath was so close that I could smell the wine, I closed my eyes and enjoyed that feeling that I longed for, he placed a kiss in my forehead, then on each of my eyelids, his lips brushed over mine and he kissed the corner of my mouth, one after the other and finally my lips, his kiss was soft and contained, like he was afraid that I would just disappear again, my hands grabbed his hair and our lips moved in perfect synchrony, it was full of love and affection that my heart flipped in my chest. When he broke up the kiss, he rested his forehead on mine, we opened our eyes slowly, enjoying the sensation when his eyes widened and I could fell a pull in my chest.

“My mate.” He whispered, a smile forming on his lips, as fast as it came, it was gone. “You knew. Why you didn't say anything?”

“If you knew that I was happy with somebody else, would have you said something?” He nodded. “It snapped for me that night and I couldn’t do that to you, it felt like the right thing to do.”

“It’s not important, not anymore.” He pulled me in for another kiss while he sent his love through the bond. “I’ve waited a hundred years for you, my mate, and I would wait a million more if that meant that I would end up with you.” I blushed and he turned me around, my back pressed on his chest while we watched the rest of the event, his chin rested on top of my head and i just cling to that feeling of joy that soothed my body and soul and I just allowed myself to sink into that happiness. Finally my soul felted complete and I knew things would be better.

[bkdk-art]

What's your worst fear?

Chapter 3 - Confront

Summary: Izuku gets hit by quirk which reveals his worst fear – losing Katsuki. Katsuki doesn’t know how to deal with it, confused by his own feelings for the nerd and scared to confront him. Katsuki's avoidance makes Izuku worry his worst fear is coming true - he scared Katsuki away.

Fandom: My Hero Academia / Boku no hero academia

Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Inko, Uraraka Ochako, Bakusquad

Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku

Word Count: 5,000

Rating: General / Teen

AO3-Link

Notes: Takes place after current events / post-graduation / Izuku and Katsuki are hero partners

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3

_________________________________

Katsuki had ended up in of the agency’s lounges, with some beds and couches and a TV on the wall. He had never used them before, because he would always go straight home after his shifts, longing for his own couch or bed.

Or Izuku’s, if he was being honest. He spent half of his free time at the nerd’s and vice versa.

Katsuki sighed, rubbing his eyes.

He didn’t seem to be able to not think about Izuku for just a few fucking minutes.

There was a knock on the door and before Katsuki could answer, he saw Round face sticking her head into the room.

“Can I come in?”, she asked.

Katsuki sat up, just shrugging for an answer. He wasn’t in the mood to talk to her, to anyone actually, but he needed the distraction.

Uraraka closed the door and walked up to Katsuki, sitting down on a chair, across from him.

“So”, she said after a few moments of silence, “I heard you nearly burnt down one of the trailing halls.”

He shrugged again, suddenly at a loss of words.

“I figured, you must be physically and mentally drained and wanted to check on you.”

He clicked his tongue, looking away from her.

“I’m fine”, he answered.

“I wish I could say, I’m glad to hear that but I can’t. Cause I don’t believe you”, she said, calm and collected.

Katsuki grunted. “What do you want me to say then?”, he looked at her, frowning.

“The truth”, she said simply, “Or that you don’t want to talk about it but don’t lie to me like that. I’m just worried about you!”

He gritted his teeth.

He didn’t need anyone to worry about him! He didn’t need all that questions! He didn’t need his friends constantly texting him if he was alright! Especially when it was Izuku who was still in the hospital, not being released until-

Then it hit him.

He hadn’t answered to Izuku’s text. He hadn’t asked him why his concussion wasn’t wearing off. He knew nothing about what had happened since he had left the hospital in the middle of the night or rather, early in the morning.

“Have you heard from him?”, he asked, ignoring her statement.

At that she sighed deeply, lowering her head. “No. What about you?”

Katsuki closed his eyes. “I haven’t talked to him since before our meeting.”

They were silent for a moment, the only sound coming from the offices around them and some people chatting in the hallways.

“Did you two have a fight?”

Katsuki looked at her, studying her sincere face. She was really only trying to lend him an ear.

He cleared his throat.

“No”, he eventually said, “I just… walked out of him after he woke up, needing some space.”

“Because of his breakdown?”

He shrugged. “Rather after finding out what had caused it in the first place.”

“Which was…?”, she asked carefully. When he didn’t respond, she added: “I don’t want to be nosey and I respect your decision to honor Deku-kun’s privacy, I really do. But I’m just saying, you’re in there too, Bakugou and you also have a right to get things off your chest. Maybe not to me if you’re not comfortable but, like, you know, maybe to someone else.”

Katsuki let out a long deep breath.

“Yeah maybe”, he said, not looking at her, feeling way too flustered at his vulnerable state right now, “But I have to make sense of it by myself first.”

Katsuki didn’t know Izuku’s true feelings behind all of this but he knew that for him, it all went back to his… his… his love for the nerd and he just couldn’t discuss this right now with anyone. His friends kind of knew about his feelings for Izuku but he never openly talked to them about it, so springing it onto them now would just cause more racket than he could handle without exploding something.

Uraraka nodded, standing up from her chair. She placed one hand on his shoulder, offering him a comforting smile. “You’ll figure it out, the two of you. You always do.”

Something in the way her eyes pierced through him, something about the sheer confidence in her voice caught him off guard.

“Does he talk to you about me?”

She hadn’t expected that, he could tell.

“Well, of course”, she didn’t meet his eyes anymore, walking backwards to the doors, “You’re together all the time, there’s no story without you in it anymore.”

That wasn’t what he had meant and he knew that she knew that. But she didn’t let anything slip out, probably for the same reason he kept his mouth shut – to respect Izuku’s privacy.

“See you around”, she said, opening the door, “If you need anything, just reach out. Everyone cares for you and would be-“

“I get it”, he cut her off, lifting his hand, “Thanks, Round face.”

She chuckled at that. “Thought you’d call me by my name from now on, as you did in the battlefield.”

Katsuki huffed at that, rolling his eyes. “I just couldn’t remember your Hero name”, he said, putting on a little smirk to let her know he was joking.

She grinned back, waving before leaving the room.

Katsuki sighed as silence wrapped itself around him, reaching for his phone to make a phone call.

~~~

Izuku wasn’t able to stay focused enough to listen to his mother, who was visiting him to eat dinner with him. Which made him feel guilty, since she had a rough day at work, he could tell, but she still made time for him, so he should at least listen to her!

But Katsuki still hadn’t answered or had reached out to him whatsoever and Izuku was just freaked out.

Had he finally chased him away? Did he make him feel so uncomfortable that Katsuki didn’t want to have anything to do with him? Was Izuku too much for Katsuki, was he finally fed up? Maybe being the person Izuku was most afraid of losing wasn’t something he wanted to be and-

“Izuku?”

“Hmm?”, he looked at his mom, “I’m sorry, what? I got distracted.”

“It’s okay”, she said, “What were you thinking about?”

Izuku felt himself grow anxious. “Nothing”, he said.

His mother smiled at him but looked worried nonetheless.

“Well, I’m glad you decided to meet up with a therapist and I’m also happy the doctors found out your headache is a normal side effect of this villain’s quirk and that it will wear off soon.”

“Yeah”, Izuku whispered, taking a bite of his meal.

The villain hadn’t been very cooperative about the information regarding his quirk. But the police apparently had offered him some kind of deal and he had told them everything about how they had planned this massive attack and also gave some information about his quirk away.

How it worked – by touch or through eye contact. How long it was normally active – around 3 hours. How headache and nausea were common side effects, mostly due to the enormous stress of a having a panic attack for several hours straight. And that he knew of two people who had killed themselves while having those traumatic responses.

Izuku clenched his fists at that thought.

This was truly one of the most powerful quirks one could think of. It was offensive since a person in that state wasn’t able to fight anymore but it was also perfect for obtaining information.

And for wrecking relationships, he thought bitterly.

~~~

Katsuki was at his apartment, eating the food he had made for himself, but he couldn’t enjoy it.

His mind was still stuck on his conversation with Round face and how defensive she had acted when he asked her about Izuku and whether or not he talked about him.

Once again – it got him hoping.

But his hope made him feel restless at the same time. Because even if Izuku might have similar feeling for Katsuki – did that really mean they had a future?

Sure, Katsuki wanted nothing more than that but they were partners, after all, dating would make everything so much more complicated. And even if they would get past that, there was still their past and how Katsuki didn’t deserve this ridiculous kindhearted person and how they triggered each other, constantly worrying about each other.

He sighed.

Katsuki felt lost, not knowing what to do.

But he knew that if he would tell his friends about it, they would tell him that he was just lying to himself and that he was just scared and wanted things to stay the way they were, because that’s how everything had worked out pretty damn fine for the last couple of years.

And they would be right.

But…

The sound of an incoming message interrupted his train of thoughts

His stomach dropped when he read Izuku’s name on the screen.

He swallowed hard. He hadn’t texted or called the nerd, too scared to confront him in any way.

He was such a jerk.

His fingers were trembling when he opened the message.

Hey Kacchan, Izuku had texted him, I was wondering how your day was? I heard you called my mom? You could’ve also called me.

Katsuki was hyper stressed out, suddenly it became hard so breathe.

The hoping, the circling thoughts, the hoping, the guilt, the fucking hoping! Everything had tired him out and facing Izuku right now was one of the hardest things he could think of.

I didn’t want to wake you in case you were sleeping, he texted back, not lying but not telling the whole truth of him being terrified either, My day was okayish. Glad your headache is just a normal shitty side effect.

Okayish – again, something Katsuki didn’t want to lie about, so he didn’t. He just wouldn’t tell him the whole truth about smoking up the training hall, almost passing out and all that stuff.

Thanks, me too, Izuku replied, ‘Okayish” doesn’t sound too good. Are you resting properly? And you wouldn’t have woken me up and even if, I wouldn’t have cared.

Katsuki closed his eyes, feeling even worse. Izuku was in the damn hospital, recovering from a trauma-quirk-attack, probably nervous about the therapy session tomorrow Inko had told him about and Katsuki avoided him at all cost. Even calling Inko, listening to her teary voice explaining how Izuku was getting better and that even though it was only a rather slow improvement that it was perfectly normal, considering the quirk at work and how he had finally decided to give therapy a shot – something Katsuki would only believe after Izuku had actually attended it.

Katsuki had felt a thousand pounds lighter. And yet, he didn’t tell Izuku how relieved he was, sincerely asking him about his wellbeing, still running away from him.

He was the worst.

He heard another message coming in.

I would’ve liked it, actually.

Katsuki blinked a few times. Did he just-

I would’ve liked to hear your voice, tbh.

Katsuki whole stomach was on fire. He could just stare at the message.

The hoping, the hoping, the hoping, the…

Guilt.

Katsuki clicked his tongue, tightening his grip around the phone, almost breaking it.

He was letting Izuku do all the work, he was aware of that. But meeting Izuku half way was just so fucking scary, Katsuki was already shaking just from the thought of it.

The sudden ringing of his phone startled Katsuki, making him jump to his feet. Should he just answer the nerd? What should he say and-

And then Katsuki saw the name on the screen.

“What is it?”, he answered, after taking in a few breaths to calm himself down.

“Hey!”, Kirishima exclaimed, “How are you, man? We’re all hanging out at Sero’s place, wanna swing by?”

Katsuki knew he had to deal with Izuku, had to deal with what the nerd had just texted him, how he felt about him and most importantly how Katsuki ended up to be the major object of his worst fear but – Katsuki really needed the company, maybe even some advice if he felt like it. But only if he felt like it.

“Bakugou?”

“Don’t ask me questions about the nerd, alright?”

“Gotcha!”, Kirishima said, sounding excited but earnest at the same time.

“I’ll be there in ten.”

~~~

“I’ll head home now, if that’s alright with you”, Izuku’s mother said, patting his hand.

She had stayed for a few hours, chatting with him whenever he was present enough to do so.

“Yeah sure, thanks mom, for visiting me!”, he leaned forward to hug her.

“Don’t thank me for that”, she smiled at him after he pulled back, “But let me ask you something: Is there something else going on besides the side effect of the quirk?”

Izuku had a hard time meeting her eyes because he didn’t want to lie to her. But he didn’t feel like opening up either.

He was scared of the therapy session. He really regretted agreeing to it. And he still felt embarrassed about his acting out and how it played all over the media.

But most of all…

“I miss Kacchan”, he whispered, “And I’m worried I’ve upset him with my breakdown.”

“Oh dear”, his mother brought her hand to his cheek, “I told you already, Katsuki-kun called me today, asking about you. And he didn’t sound upset at all. He seemed rather like he missed you too.”

Izuku swallowed hard, hating how that increased his headache.

“Then why didn’t he visit today?”

Inko let out a long deep breath. “I don’t know, Izuku. Maybe you ask him?”

Izuku shrugged and nodded at the same time, not wanting to admit that he already told Katsuki that he missed his voice, mustering all his courage for that one and that now, Katsuki wasn’t texting him back again.

Izuku felt miserable.

“Maybe I’ll try that, thanks”, he forced a smile, “But now get some rest, mom.”

She placed a kiss on top of his head and made him promise to call when he needed her.

As soon as she left the room, Izuku felt like he was about to crack. Just cracking open, letting everything out, every shaky breath, every stinging tear, every scream.

But then he reminded himself that he was at the hospital and he couldn’t disturb the other patients and the medical staff like that. He had to behave like a Hero, even now.

Only if he would feel like one, instead of that pathetic version of himself.

Katsuki didn’t reach out to him all day and now he wasn’t answering his texts and Izuku felt embarrassed out of his mind for sending that text and there was no use in deleting it because Katsuki had already seen it! And went offline the next second!

Izuku grunted in his hands, tossing in his bed.

He didn’t remember when he had felt this anxious in the last couple of months. Well, besides the quirk-attack probably but he didn’t remember that one, so…

Izuku had kept his feelings for Katsuki hidden, all those years. Also from himself for a significant amount of time, but there was no use of denying it anymore. At least not towards himself and not to his friends, who had suspected it for years by now.

But Katsuki was another story. Izuku didn’t want to ruin things between him and the blond. He was his childhood friend, his rival, his partner and they had gone through hell to reach the point they were at now.

Izuku didn’t want to risk it.

So why had he written this message?!

Oh my god, he thought, his breath speeding up, I messed up. I lost him. For good this time.

~~~

Katsuki hadn’t expected his friends to really not ask him about Izuku but strangely enough they pulled themselves together.

Either because they didn’t want to be blown up into pieces or they saw just how gutted Katsuki felt and that he was in no state to just chat about it.

He had told them, how Izuku was doing of course, keeping them up to date. Izuku was their friend too after all and they were worried sick for him.

They had played some card game with the most ridiculous rules Kaminari for sure had just made up and now they were just kind of hanging out, now and then someone said something, showing something on their phone while music was playing in the background.

It turned out to be Katsuki’s worst nightmare, because now he had time to think again and was low key panicking what he should answer the nerd. He had left him on read for too long already, but his stomach was hurting way too bad to come up with anything.

“Yo, Blasty.”

Katsuki snapped out of his thoughts and looked over to where Pinky was sitting. They had all squeezed onto Sero’s couch.

“Hmm?”, Katsuki lifted his chin, signaling her to go on.

“You’re mumbling.”

Shit.

Holy shit!

“For fuck’s sake”, he growled, rolling his eyes, “The nerdiness is contagious.”

The others chuckled at that.

“Don’t worry”, Kaminari said, “You’ve always been kind of a nerd.”

Katsuki scuffed. Just thinking about his All Might Action Card was enough to shut his denials down.

“So…”, Kirishima started with a way too sincere look on his face, “You were mumbling something about Midoriya?”

Katsuki clicked his tongue and looked away from them, feeling embarrassed and worried that his face might flush.

It wasn’t like he didn’t trust these guys, even if he wouldn’t admit it to them but he just didn’t know where to start in all of this mess.

“I mean, you love him, right?”

“What?”, Katsuki swirled his head to look at Mina who had asked the question.

Now he was definitely blushing.

“Don’t sweat”, Sero said, standing up from the couch to charge his phone, “We know.”

Katsuki grumbled at that, rubbing his eyes.

What a shitshow.

“Well, thanks for letting me know”, Katsuki said after a while.

They all gave him a crooked smile and it somehow warmed Katsuki up from the inside out.

“Okay”, he let out a deep breath, “Then I guess, I can just dive right in.”

How they were looking at him, expecting looks on their faces, eyes wide like their eyeballs were about to pop out. He would have laughed at their dumb faces if he hadn’t been so stressed out.

“He…”, Katsuki shrugged, “He kind of sends me signals and, I guess, I don’t know how to deal with that.”

A long silence followed after that.

Katsuki felt himself grow irritated immediately. They were just dumbfoundedly staring at him.

“What?!”, he said between gritted teeth.

“Like”, Kaminari said, “Like, you mean, he’s been sending you signals for ages now, right?”

Katsuki frowned. “No, I mean, since the attack, he-“

Their eyes went even bigger.

“Shit, bro”, Kaminari looked at him as if he was almost pitying him, “Where did you have your eyes all these years? I thought only on Midoriya but somehow you didn’t see him at all, did you?”

Katsuki swallowed hard.

The hoping, oh, that fucking hoping.

“Like what?”, he asked.

He needed to know. He needed to know what he had forbid himself to see all this time.

“Pff”, Kaminari shook his head, “Freaking everything!”

The others nodded eagerly.

“Like, come on now”, Sero said, “just looking at the first and second year of UA and how he acted out, only when it was about you. His reaction to you getting kidnapped… man, I swear”, Sero shook his head, “We were far off from where you guys were but Midoriya’s scream and howling frightened the living shit out of me.”

Again, agreeing nods.

Katsuki’s stomach twisted.

You’ll leave a corpse behind, Shigaraki’s words echoed in Katsuki’s head from their second battle, I’m sure it’ll make for a lovely present. Judging by how enraged he became when I skewered you last time.

Katsuki had made himself believe that Izuku would have reacted in all those situations for anybody in the exact same way. That it hadn’t been about him at all.

This got him hoping once again, but it nagged at him too. He didn’t want Izuku to feel all of that negative stuff because of him.

“And”, Pinky went on, “just everything about his mannerism around you, how he beams and all that stuff you would call sappy and I guess, that’s fine. It’s not like you’re being so much more subtle.”

Katsuki felt like cold water had been splashed into his face.

“Hmm?”, he meant to sound challenging but it was just a husky sound.

“You let him get away with just everything, Bakugou”, Kirishima laughed, “And I don’t mean calling you Kacchan, which is cute though!”

Katsuki rolled his eyes.

“But I mean, like everything from getting you to cook for him every other day to getting you to act more polite. I mean, you’re like…”, he shrugged, at a loss of words.

“Basically, like an old married couple”, Kaminari concluded and Kirishima gave him a thumbs up.

The hoping. The feeling crawled in every cell of Katsuki’s body, making him feel giddy.

So there was a reason to hope. But there was also a reason for his guilt.

“And yes, Midoriya always went out for you”, Sero added, as if reading Katsuki’s mind, “but you did the same, you took very good care of his safety back in school and now too, even of his eating and sleeping habits. I know you two have history und you can’t let go of it for some reason when Midoriya already did. Just don’t take that opportunity away from you, man. Just don’t.”

Katsuki clenched his fists.

“He’d find someone else. Someone nicer.”

At least five people among their colleagues and former classmates came instantly to his mind that adored the greenhead and have wanted to get into his pants forever. People who wouldn’t snarl at interviewers or the PR-mangers at the agency. Who would fucking answer his damn texts.

“But he doesn’t want to!”, Mina let out a frustrated growl, “I mean, sure, I can’t speak on his behalf but don’t you take that decision away from him!”

Katsuki closed his eyes.

Mina was right. Letting Izuku have a say in all of this before Katsuki just decided to turn his back on their… their relationship – in what sense ever – was the absolute least. It was the base line, to be precise.

His heart was hammering in his chest, he realized. It almost hurt.

“Scared as shit, guys, I swear, I’m not built for this”, he admitted after a long moment of silence.

“Yeah, you are, built for it, that is.”, Sero disagreed, “You just don’t have a lot of practice.”

Katsuki nodded at that. Couldn’t fight with that.

He opened his mouth to say something, yet another doubt, another counterargument, another fear he wished they would reason away, but before he could make a single sound, his phone started ringing.

Katsuki reached out for it, scared of seeing Izuku’s name on the screen but when he recognized the hospital’s number, he felt more than just scared.

“Bakugou?”, Kaminari had placed his hand on his shoulder, “Are you alright?”

“Don’t know”, he whispered, pressing the green button, “Hello?”

He felt nauseous, scared of bad news about Izuku, some complications or shit like hat.

“Good evening, Bakugou-san”, a soft voice spoke from the phone and even before the person introduced herself, Katsuki recognized her as Izuku’s doctor.

“Is something wrong with him?”, he couldn’t help to interrupt her.

His friends were staring at him, worry on their faces and Kaminari even strengthened his grip on Katsuki’s shoulder.

The doctor sighed and Katsuki’s heart ached.

“He’s not getting his full rest, to be honest, and that’s the one thing he needs right now.”

“Is he”, Katsuki felt his face turn grim, “wandering off or something like that?”

He would kill the nerd. He would straight up knock him out if that was the only way of getting this stubborn-

“No, that’s not the problem. Well, rather, it’s emotional drain that’s slowing his recovery down.”

Katsuki felt his mouth growing dry. “What drain exactly?”

You coward, he told himself, You damn well know which fucking drain!

“Well, his monitoring results suggest that he is in a chronic state of stress, he sure seems anxious. Bakugou-san”, her voice turned determined, “I don’t want to cross a line here and I don’t know what happened between you and Midoriya-san but I think that seeing you would change his state for sure.”

Katsuki’s heart missed a beat.

“I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

“Great. I’ll let the guard know to let you through. It’s already past visiting hours.”

Bakugou huffed. “Thanks, doc.”

“Of course. Be safe.”

Katsuki hung up and looked at the others.

“Is he okay?”, Sero asked.

“Say he’s okay, please”, Kaminari brought his hands to his face, “I just can’t with him, why is he always getting in so much trouble.”

Katsuki grumbled at that. “Cause he’s on top of the game, that’s why. Gets the heaviest opponents, and shitty villains target him the most.”

He knew that the same applied to him. But not in the exact same way, he was still a few steps behind the greenhead, maybe he always would be. But instead of being infuriated as before, Katsuki felt motivated. Frustrated at times, maybe, but motivated nonetheless.

“Spit it out, you’re scaring me!”, Mina urged it.

Oh, shit.

“He’s not feeling so good right now”, he tried to avoid details, “But all in all he’s okay, on the way to recovery, don’t worry, just as I told you earlier.”

They all loosened up, sighing in relief.

“But I’ll get going”, Katsuki stood up from the couch, “Gotta meet him halfway, right?”

He smirked at their smiley faces and stary eyes.

“Get your man!”, Kirishima grinned at him.

Yeah. He would.

~~~

Izuku focused on his breathing but it didn’t help.

His stomach ached, his chest felt tight, his arms and legs were tingling and his breathing just wouldn’t calm down.

And the tears. Those annoying tears that wouldn’t stop escaping the corner of his eyes.

Everything just hurt.

He would end up having to deal with questions about his breakdown for months, every interview would be just about how he had thrown himself on Katsuki and he couldn’t bare it, not if this incident had made Katsuki distance himself from Izuku.

A sob escaped his mouth and the backlash just made Izuku’s head feel like bursting open.

He just wanted to sleep, was that too much to ask for?

He also wanted Katsuki right by his side, his hand in his own but he knew that that would be too much to ask, so he didn’t even dare think of it, but sleep?

Why wasn’t he allowed to sleep?

Izuku sniffled, wiping his tears away although new ones were already dripping from his lashes.

When he heard a sound from the door, he turned his face more into the pillow, so the nurse wouldn’t have to deal with that wretched sight of him.

But the person approaching just stopped right before Izuku’s bed, not doing or saying anything.

After a few seconds, Izuku dared to take a glance and was struck.

“Ka-Kacchan?”, he stuttered.

Maybe he was hallucinating.

While he considered the chances of this being just an illusion, he registered Katsuki’s shiny eyes.

“Kacchan”, Izuku sat up in alarm, “Are you crying?”

“Tch”, Katsuki sniffled, shaking his head in disbelief, “You’re one to talk, nerd.”

Izuku huffed, wiping his eyes once again.

A few seconds of silence went by. The air was tense.

Izuku’s heart was making funny things. Beating fast at the sight of Katsuki but throbbing painfully at the memory of his breakdown and Katsuki’s reaction to it or rather his lack of reaction.

“Just fucking hate seeing you like this”, Katsuki broke the silence and stepped closer, moving the chair up to the head of Izuku’s bed, so he could sit directly next to Izuku, face to face.

Izuku could just stare at Katsuki while he moved, sat down and then – Izuku’s breath hitched – leaned forwards, placing a hand on Izuku’s cheek.

“I’m sorry I’m late”, Katsuki whispered and a shiver run down Izuku’s spine.

Izuku closed his eyes, squeezing fresh tears out of his eyes.

“Mean, Kacchan”, he said, “Letting me wait like that, I thought you were done with me.”

That’s when Katsuki leaned his forehead against Izuku’s, their noses almost touching.

“I’m so sorry. I fucked up”, his voice broke, “I will never be done with you, I never could. I’m sorry to make you think that.”

Izuku couldn’t believe this was happening.

Katsuki was so close!

Sure, they still needed to talk about all of this and what it meant but as long as Katsuki was this close, reassuring him not to leave him, he would be fine.

“Make it up to me, then”, Izuku managed to smile.

“Gotcha”, Katsuki promised, making it sound like an oath.

[my-castles-crumbling]

hi cas, reg kin anon back already haha

(again, cw/tw for medical stuff and complicated family dynamics)

firstly, thank you for your supportive and kind words, they really do mean a lot to me (and everyone else you help; youre genuinely such a wonderful person and deserve everything good in life ♡)

i think ive come to the conclusion that i havent really processed the whole situation yet, honestly. even though i wrote it to you, i havent actually said the words out loud about my mother's diagnosis (and honestly writing them out again is a struggle haha, like my fingers are blocked from doing it), and it kind of feels like saying it makes it real? does that make sense? i dunno. it feels so impossible to imagine my mother being genuinely sick with something so serious. 'my mother' and 'cancer' dont fit in the same sentence.

but i didnt really realise until now just how major of a major life event this is for everyone and everything. because (and remember, i have a very complicated relationship with my mother. i once defined it as 'i dont have to like you to love you' and i think thats really relevant to now, too) my mother was going to help me with moving out (both buying things ill need, as well as actually moving out on the day) but she told me yesterday that ill have to go out to get things myself because she physically cant right now. i didnt think id mind so much, i like having my own independance and doing things myself, but i went out today to buy everything i need and i was struggling so much more than i thought. i genuinely almost had a breakdown crying in the first shop i went to.

honestly part of that was because i had no idea what i needed or where was best to get it or what any of the fancy words about different types of stuff meant (like, who even knows what depth their mattress is to buy the right bedsheet?? what is a tog??? whats the difference between a bath sheet and a bath towel?? they look the same!) but also because that was something we were supposed to do together. i dont like her and theres so much about her i want to change, but theres a huge part of me that was looking forward to a parent/child experience that so many normal families have, especially because i didnt get a lot of other typical 'growing up' moments with my parents due to how my family is.

part of me, in all honesty, considered waiting to move out, partly so that she could still be part of it, and partly so that i was in a better place emotionally to be able to handle the change. but if i were to do that, id have to wait another year (im moving out to go to university, and i already put it off last year to get a job instead because i was scared and anxious about university) and i dont know that i could go a whole extra year stuck at home. theoretically, i could afford to move out and rent (or buy, if i went to one of the cheap areas) when i felt ready in however many months time, but itd be a huge drain on my savings and would be nowhere near where ill be for school the following year so itd be a waste of money and time. itd be stupid and silly for me to put off university for another year, but i did consider it. i wont, but part of me is scared and wants to.

i met up with my older brother for lunch while i was out (who, sticking with the black family dynamics, is kind of like the andromeda of my family. he moved out 5 years ago to break away from the family and rarely comes home, and is probably the one person in my life who i feel genuinely comfortable and safe around) and we talked about it which was nice, especially considering my family is typically very much a 'do not talk about your feelings at all' sort of family, and as a whole we have not discussed anything further about my mother's health or how we're all handling it since that first conversation. he was super gentle and caring and honestly that in itself made me want to cry a bit because hes just so not at all like our parents?? idk who raised him but i wish theyd raised me too hahaha

but anyway, he was really open and supporting with me. he talked a bit about how he was feeling (which was super validating, because he was also hit hard by it and had complex feelings about it all) and he was really clear too that if i needed anything at all, i could always go to him and would always be welcome at his flat if i needed time away, even when i move out. (seriously, who raised this perfect older brother????) basically he was everything i needed in that moment and i am really genuinely thankful he exists, so at least my parents made one decent thing haha

still, though. i think its starting to hit me now just how many things are going to change and, as selfish as it is, how many things im going to lose and miss out on because of it. i dont like my mother, but i want her there to help me take that next step in my adult life, yknow? she, nor my father, have explicitly said she wont be able to help on moving day, but its not likely, and theres no way on earth i could ever ask whether she will (again: selfish thinking.)

my brother did mention, though, that the type of cancer our mother has is apparently one of the worse types if it isnt caught early enough. as far as i understand it (which isnt much, honestly, i dont understand much with medicine), she has cancer in her abdomen and its usually caught too late to get rid of. i didnt know this until today, i think our father didnt want to worry me? but i dont actually know how far along the cancer is (which stage it is? i think thats the right term) and i dont know at what stage it becomes too late. my brother also didnt seem to know, but now thats put a new worry in my head because my father explicitly did not mention that to me, so of course my brain has jumped to conclusions about why and what that means. im trying not to spiral, but ever since i found out about her diagnosis, i dont actually think ive gone ten minutes without 'fuck, my mother has cancer' or something similar going through my head, and restarting the breakdown id just pushed down again.

as expected, my sister was already making inappropriate jokes about it by the next time i saw her. i spoke to my brother about this too (hes cut contact with her entirely, like i plan to) and that was part of why he offered to let me stay with him if i ever needed; to escape our sister as much as our mother. i dont understand how she doesnt care a single bit. i know shes never got along with our parents but like, at least have a little decency and sensitivity?? she was literally laughing about it and i just... i dont get how someone could be such an awful person. sure whatever, she doesnt have to be upset if she really doesnt care, but thats crossing a fucking line.

this is getting to be another long ask so im gonna stop here for now, but before i do i just want to say thank you again for being such a safe place for myself and others. you are so, so wonderful cas ♡

- reg kin anon

Hi hon ❤️❤️❤️

I know there’s not a lot I can say right now to make you feel better because unfortunately I don’t know the future. I don’t know how this will turn out and neither do you. But I want to say again that your feelings - all of them - are okay and valid and none of them are bad or shameful. It’s okay to mourn the things that you might miss and it’s okay to have mixed emotions. No feelings are right or wrong here, and I’m here when you need to vent. Also I know move in Day will be hard but I’m so proud of you for continuing to prepare for university.

Sending so much love ❤️

[elyannadelrey]

Almost all “sacrifices” I received, was (most of the time) given out of my will.

Growing up in a household where “utang na loob” is taught, I learned how to value my parents’ hardships, even though it also meant to repress my own emotions. In my idle moments, like eating in a restaurant, I like to observe kids with complete families. It was as if my eyes had their own mind to automatically stare at children with a loving and affectionate father. Bitterness filled my system, but it wasn’t due to the food; it was the growing envy that I tried not to consume but failed to do so. This growing envy of mine was one of the first reasons why I was angry at the world and somehow at my father. I can’t even remember the last graduation, birthday, or any event of mine that he was able to attend. Before, I would try to reason out the external factors he couldn’t control to ease my anger. We have bills to pay. It wasn’t his fault that he couldn’t go home. Even though his congratulatory messages and calls were always present, somehow it wasn’t enough. Was it the fact that he wasn’t there physically? Or the lack of sincerity? Or maybe I’m reminded of the time I was first eminently insulted by how he called me bobo for not keeping up with his way of tutoring me? A crying elementary version of me always pops up as I silence myself from his high-pitched remarks and curses, with my lola stopping him from hitting me out of anger. Our house turns into a rage room whenever he goes home. I am always at war.

Can you really call yourself a parent if your child is not safe and secured with you?

My last straw was him cheating, honestly. I wasn’t that shocked when I found out, since I expected it already from someone as disgusting as him. Deep down, I always knew it was going to happen. Unfortunately, it took him more than a decade to cheat, which wasted years of my mom’s life. Actually, I’m not quite sure if it took him a decade to cheat or a decade to get caught. I have blurry memories of seeing sweet messages from another woman on his phone back when I was an only child. However, my fear for him was greater than my curiosity, so I decided not to read everything. This incident also triggered something in me to forget negative memories. The stress of having to go through what happened pains me so much that I try to trick my brain to downplay whatever happened. Which is also the reason why I sometimes can’t go on with full details about every single argument I had with him (or with anyone).

That’s just some behaviors I got from the situations I’ve been in with him. Sadly, the more that I hated my father, the more I mastered some of his traits. Maybe I’m far worse than him.

The hard truth is: you don’t hold the same power over someone who has greatly influenced your life. No matter how pure my intentions are, I can’t change the way my father thinks, like how he affected my thought process. His decisions are his. And I can’t do anything about it. I sometimes wish I could change him for the better, but then that wouldn’t be him.

With this, I’ve been asking myself lately. Is being unfair to someone you love a shortcoming or a choice?

Does my dad ever regret the things he did and said? Did I ever receive the apology I dreamed of in his silent reflections? Or was it all just a random day for him “disciplining” me since he knows “na para ‘to sa ikabubuti ko”?

I might know. I might never know. But one thing I really learned from him is to let people be. If someone wants to be somebody else, let them be. If they want to leave, let them be. Honestly, just let it be. I wish for better things, but I can’t control everything.

To my father, how can I ever thank you for your sacrifices? You're too far away now. I don't even know you anymore. Your voice didn't reach me in a long time, but the words still linger.

When will I able to greet you a father's day without it feeling like a task to accomplish? I don't know.

[an open letter to my father]

breakdown while writing the intro at 12am tapos 5:53 am na natapos lawl im js a thought daughter fr

[viscerism]

now I want to hear YOUR breakdown of Ango 👀 👀 👀

ohoohoh absolutely

how i feel about this character: GOD where do i even start?? i was smitten with his character from the moment i first watched the dark era arc. he made the decision to worm his way into my brain and made himself at home, there's no getting rid of him at this point. he was honestly just so fascinating to me, and still is. i can't exactly pinpoint what about him it was, but a main factor was probably how he hit so close to home for me (although that may partially be due to me projecting every aspect of myself onto him). but also just his depth and complexity... it's upsetting how to majority of this fanbase tends to water him down to the point where it's always just a gross mischaracterization. that's why i'm grateful for the in-depth analyses and content that i'm able to dig out of this site. but, aside from being underappreciated in the fanbase, it's also the same case within the universe itself. ango is selfless to his own detriment, a huge part of his character that is too often ignored. i know how often i joke about it, but it's pretty clear that he's slowly killing himself via his job. not to mention the dangerous situations he's regularly putting himself in (ie. infiltrating not one but two extremely dangerous criminal organizations at the same time) with no regard to his own safety. it's honestly baffling how he's still breathing right now. he's practically just a tool to be used by the government, knows this, and allows himself to be such for the sake of others. i also want to touch upon the internal conflict he faces between his job and his emotions/ relationships (ie. the entirety of the dark era arc). despite the fact that he tries so hard to balance the two of these conflicting forces and works towards the best possible outcome, he is still criticized far too harshly for being helpless to preserve one or the other (both in-universe and out). i wish i could go into a deep analysis of it, but i probably shouldn't because this post is already going to be long enough. either way, he is far too underappreciated and deserves so, so much better.

all the people i ship romantically with this character: my personal favorite is oda/ango (in a comfort character/ character i project myself onto kind of way). i don't mind other ships involving him, and I do see potential behind some, i just don't think about any of them quite as much. and since I project every aspect of myself onto ango, I also tend to headcanon him as being somewhere on the aromatic spectrum. so, i'm also very comfortable with no one at all :)

my non-romantic otp for this character: easily the buraiha trio. i absolutely adore each of them individually, but all together?? they mean the world to me. ango truly cared about the both of them, which makes it all the more heartbreaking what happened, and just makes thier relationship so, so good.

my unpopular opinion about this character: i will stand on this hill until the day i die—ango was absolutely not to blame for the outcome of the events that transpired during the dark era. he was literally just doing his job, as well as doing everything he could to try and prevent said outcome. direct your blame to the character who literally manipulated the events into occurring and sold oda's life in exchange for a business permit and not the 22-year-old underpaid government agent who could do nothing more about the situation. anyone who disagrees apparently missed the three entire scenes clarifying this.

one thing i wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: ango gets a nap and the appreciation he deserves. but also i'd like some clarification as to how he ended up in the place that he is. a very basic request, and one that has been asked by a lot of others, but just some backstory. i'm very curious about all that has shaped him into what he is now.

[oitommothetease]

Invisible String (4/?)

Pairing:  Bucky Barnes x Female reader (Modern AU)

Description: James Buchanan Barnes, the owner of the most expensive-looking club in town and your new apartment. He was a dick and you hated him. What could possibly go wrong when you, the new girl in town, start bartending at his club to pursue your dreams?

Word Count: 2.6k words

Warning: 18+ (discussion of assault, nervous breakdown, anxiety attack, just don’t read this whole series if you are a kid)

You woke up to a night of dreamless sleep like you always did, but then the events of the previous night hit you. You wished it was a dream, but one look in the mirror and a bruise running along your cheek was enough to confirm. Not only that, but you remembered asking your boss to stay over, but you didn't expect him to. The blanket on your living room’s couch and the bowl of fruits and a glass of juice situated out for you on the kitchen counter proved that he did stay.

And then the reality sunk in, you have a decision to make. You can either go to the cops or let that guy get away. The latter sounded not so great, but you knew going to the cops isn't going to be great either. You've seen enough detective shows to know that. You've had enough, and you just wanted to forget it. 

What did Mr. Barnes mean when he said you were going to talk about this? Are you supposed to visit him before work? Is he going to come to your place?

You decided to work on your book but ended up not being able to concentrate, so you started watching a show and fell asleep while watching it. Maybe some Chinese take-out could make you feel better. It didn't. Nothing made you feel better. You wished you had some friends in this new town because you didn't want to burden your work friends. 

After a horrible day of trying to cope, when you finally made your way to the club, you noticed the security was increased. Usually, security guards weren't present inside the club, but today it was different. Everyone was so vigilant and you felt a little safer. If you didn't know any better, you'd think Mr. Barnes did it for you, but again he would have done the same thing for any other employee. 

"Boss wants to see you," Pietro told you. You were about to head for Clint's office when the blond twin spoke again and pointed his finger towards the stairs." The boss."

Okay, well maybe playing naïve couldn't avoid this meeting, so you slowly walked upstairs. How bad could this go, it's not like he saw you in your most vulnerable state? Oh, wait, he did. 

You knocked on his office door, wanting to rip the band-aid and get over with it. 

"Hey," you said, faking a smile. "Thanks for getting me home last night and for breakfast today. I didn't even know I had fruits and juice at home because let's be honest, I'm a toast and coffee kinda gal."

Mr. Barnes didn't say anything, he just looked at you as if you were a confusing puzzle that he couldn't solve. He raised a hand towards the seat in front of him and you took it, nervously fiddling with your fingers under the table.

“You do that a lot, you know?” he asked, it wasn't a question, it was merely an observation.

“What?”

“Deflecting a serious issue by using a joke.” Mr. Barnes observed as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“What are you? My therapist?”

He arched an eyebrow, indicating that you were literally doing the thing he pointed out. 

"Yeah, well, it's called having a healthy coping mechanism. You should try getting one, brooding is only gonna help you this far."

 "It's not healthy if you're not dealing with it," Mr. Barnes pointed out. 

You scoffed in incredulity and you felt very, very attacked. 

What is it? Attacking y/n day?, you thought. 

"Anyway, I think I want to press charges," You changed the subject to a more serious conversation to avoid him calling you out on your bullshit. 

"Okay, I understand.” 

“You do?” You asked, bewilderment clearly written all over your face. “I mean, letting an employee go to the cops is not gonna be great for your club's reputation and yours too. And, you know, considering the shady business, you do-” 

"What exactly do you think we do?" He asked.

And that's when it hit you, you didn't know what he did or mob bosses do in general. All your knowledge about it came from movies and Wattpad, both of them are not a great place to gain knowledge.

“What exactly do you do?” you pondered.

 He obviously wasn't expecting you to directly ask him, nobody has directly asked him or even made it known that they are aware of his work. It was kind of like a silent pact that everybody signed for, everybody except you, apparently. 

“Um, you know, I've been working for almost 2 weeks here now, and I haven't seen any drugs around here, so it's obviously not drugs. You don't look like the sex trafficking types-”

 "Jesus, woman!" He exclaimed, offended by your assumptions. 

"Then just tell me what you do."

You expected him to tell you something, but he just kept looking at you with a face void of emotions.

 "Fine, don't tell me," you mumbled, raising your hands dramatically in defeat. 

“So you don't mind me ruining your reputation by going to the cops?” 

“I told you I don't care. Your safety is my utmost priority,” your face might have given away the surprise you felt because he quickly backpedaled. ”I mean, the safety of my employees.”

“The safety of my employees is my utmost priority,” he told you, providing an extra emphasis on the word employees. “Anyway, one of my people would take you to the police station near-"

You cut him off immediately. 

"No, you can't tell anyone else. I don't want everyone hopping on the pity train. I'm already ashamed that you know about it," you pleaded but your voice was firm, telling him that this was not up for a discussion.

At this, his eyes and features softened. Bucky didn't want you to feel guilty or ashamed for somebody else's actions, but clearly, you did. 

"Okay, then I can take you. You just had to explain to the officer last night’s events, and they'll ask you to recognize Rumlow and then we can-"

Mr. Barnes’s voice faded into the background when it finally hit you.

"You know what, I changed my mind. It's too much. I don't want to press charges anymore. I didn't think this through," you backtracked. You did think this through, but now all the factors were adding up in your brain. You'd have to explain the details to a cop who is probably going to be another man and a stranger, and then they'd ask you to identify the guy. You didn't think you had it in you to face him. At least not now. 

He interpreted your thought process and promptly changed the topic. "Okay, we can work with whatever you want, and at least let Peter escort you home after work."

"What? No!” You quickly declined.

“It's for your own safety,” Bucky tried to reason. He wasn't letting you get off this easily.

 “I'm a strong, independent woman and I'm not scared of anything.” 

That was a lie. You were scared of many things like heights, dark, spiders, confrontation and the list goes on and on. 

You remembered all the lectures your mom gave you telling you that women should be scared because men are monsters, and you'd lose your honor if you are reckless and some other patriarchal crap that you didn't pay attention to. But you weren't scared, you were just always careful. You'd always put the keys between your knuckles when you went home alone. In your previous job, you used to laugh it off whenever your coworkers made a sexist joke. You'd ignore the subtle shoulder touch that your previous boss did. You told yourself that this is what it takes to make it. If you were to run away every time someone eyed you in a wrong way, then you'd spend your whole life running. 

Women usually shrug this behavior off as it is what is, but the truth is it shouldn't be like this.

“Please, I insist.” 

“I'm very capable of taking care of myself. Just because one bad incident happened doesn't mean I'll fucking break!” You stated, your voice louder than your regular voice to get across your point.

That was also a lie. You were walking on a thin line and you were ignoring your emotions. You were one outburst away from a breakdown, and you just couldn't bring yourself to feel anything. 

Mr. Barnes tried to call your name, but you were already bolting out of his office. 

You needed a drink. No, fuck that. You needed multiple drinks. It wasn't exactly wise to get drunk during work, but it couldn't get any shittier than this, right?, you thought.

Right?

 Wrong. It could get way shittier than this. Now it was almost midnight, you were kind of tipsy, and you could see two Mr. Stark, your regular customer, in front of you. 

Did he have a twin? Is he and his twin brother one of those identical twins that dress up the same? Because that's what it looked like.

 “Earth to y/n," Mr. Stark said, or was it his twin? It was getting hard to keep track anymore.

 And that's when you noticed. 

“Holy, Shit. You're triplets, Mr. Stark," you announced. 

"Okay, kid, close my tab.”

“Hey, y/n. Are you okay?” Peter asked, noticing the concerned look Mr. Stark gave him before leaving.

“Yes, I'm fine. Absolutely fine.”

***

Turns out you were not fine. You've been pretty much hammered for the past week, and you could barely get a sentence out without giggling or slurring. Your colleagues took notice of your state and whenever someone pointed it out, you'd just shrug it off as a bad day or a bad week. There was no concept of time in your drunk state.

You couldn't concentrate on your book, you could barely look at someone without squinting, and you've been eating takeout and leftovers for the past few days. 

James would have fired if someone working under him was this irresponsible, but he knew your reasons. He knew you clearly weren't coping with the trauma well. Your work ethics were shoved down the trash that even Clint asked why you weren't fired yet.

Bucky didn't want to talk to you, he thought that maybe giving you some space would do you good, but clearly it wasn't working. Usually, the mob boss didn't interfere in the affairs of his employees, it was Clint's job, but when you smashed a bottle on the head of a customer, he had to interject.

“I TOLD THIS FUCKER NO!” you yelled, Peter’s hand around your middle from behind. Another empty beer bottle was in your hand, ready to be smashed across the face of the drunk dude in front of you.

Pietro and Wanda were enjoying the show. Peter, being the peace lover he is, held you back when you smashed a bottle across a drunk customer's face. Even though Peter was younger than you, he was stronger, and he was not only holding you back but also himself. He didn't want to cause a scene and that is why he was mulling comforting words in your ear like, he's not worth it, you're gonna kill this guy.

Damn right I am, you thought.

It was ironic because everyone in that club had killed someone except you.

When Bucky walked into the room, the drunk guy turned towards him and pointed at you. ”You are hiring crazy bitches now? Just called her baby girl and she went psycho!!!”

Bucky didn't understand what was happening. He told the security guards to take that man outside his club and he walked towards you. He firmly yet gently took a hold of your left arm, signaling Peter to let go of you. Without a word, he started walking in the direction of his office, dragging you along with him.

Once near his office, he lightly yanked your hand and shoved you inside, making you stand in front of him.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" he inquired, having had enough of your incompetence.

You were seething with rage. "Wrong with me? I told him no, but he didn't listen."

Bucky stepped forward, his anger dissipating into sympathy. " I know, he mumbled, "and I'm so-"

 "No, you don't know!" you yelled, body trembling and tears welling up in your eyes. "I told him no multiple times, I even tried to push him off me, but he just kept coming back."

Bucky's eyes furrowed in confusion. He didn't understand your words, the drunk customer didn't touch you. And that's when he realized, you weren't talking about the drunk customer. He cognized that the drunk guy purely triggered something that you've been suppressing for days now. Bucky was aware that you needed to get it out of your system to cope healthily.

“I told him no, you know? But he just wouldn't listen,” you stated, trying to convince yourself that you didn't lead him on. ”And he was so…. so strong and… and then he hit me and everything just went blur, I couldn't see but... but I could still feel him with me.”

Not realizing that you were not in that place anymore, you wrapped your hand around yourself to seek some sort of protection and comfort, bottom lip quivering, the welled up traitorous tears were streaming down your face and all you could think about was that night. 

“I… I can't get his touch out,” you stammered. ” I shower, multiple times a day, but I still can't get his touch out.”

With that, you broke down completely and shattered on the floor, sobbing ferociously. Your knees ached because of the position you were situated in, but the emotional pain was enough to overshadow the physical one.

For once in his lifetime, Bucky did not know what to do. Cautiously, he made his way towards you and knelt down in front of you. He did not know what to say or do to make you feel better.

You launched your body towards him, snaking your arms around his shoulder to settle on his neck as if he was the only thing grounding you. You lurched onto him like he was your anchor, and maybe he was. It took a minute for Bucky to register your actions, and when he did, he wrapped his arms around your middle and closed the minuscule distance separating you.

He surprised himself with the way one of his hands automatically reached for your hair and whispered words of comfort in your ear. He caught you as you crumpled physically and emotionally. 

”You're going to be okay, doll,” he whispered and kissed your temple with sincerity. ”I will make sure of that.”

The second part was barely audible, it wasn't meant for you, it was a promise he made to himself.

Bucky held you tightly yet gently while you sobbed on his shoulder.

 He didn't know how long he held you, it felt like an eternity to him with the way he could feel the guilt and rage inside him. When you passed out in his arms, he gently placed you on one of the comfortable couches in his office and draped a blanket around you that he had for when he would work late at night.

An office chair might not be the most ideal place to spend the night in, but it didn't matter to Bucky. All that mattered was you.

TAGS: @bananapipedreams​ @akkinda10​  @rivers-rambles21​  @emmabarnes​@goodcleanfunsis​ @valsworldofcreativity​

[kurama-is-love]

Comfort and Harmony (Kurama x Reader)

Word count: 4.365 Pairing: Kurama x Female!Reader Genre: Comfort Fluff, family, romance, mild sexual themes (teasing) Rating: Teen (lots of sexal teasing) Summary: This oneshot is related to the „Poltergeist Movie“. If you haven't seen the movie, you may not understand why Kurama is acting the way he does. After the events with Yakumo and his underlings, Kurama fell in some kind of depression. The memories of his deceased friend Kuronue haunted him more like he wanted to admit. Kurama never showed any sign of weakness or mental breakdowns, but now, that he has human emotions, he occasionally suffers from them without realizing. After not seeing him for two weeks, you decided you pay him a visit and look how he is doing.

You were worried about Kurama. After the events with the Netherking, King Yakumo and his underlings, Kurama seemed to stopped interacting with his friends. According to Yusuke, he wasn't at school either, and he didn't really answered calls from them. The memory of his old friend Kuronue must have torn painful wounds, you knew that from the moment after Kurama had defeated the Netherlord demon, who had disguised himself as Kuronue.

For a long time you quarreled with whether you should visit him at home, at the Minamino house, or whether he would rather have his peace and leave him alone. After all, he didn't just avoid his friends and lover for no reason.

After school, you didn't want to think about it anymore and tried to distract yourself from worrying. But then you noticed that you had gone to the Minamino house by yourself when you stood in front of their front door.

"Okay, that's almost creepy .. His house is in a completely different direction than mine and I'm sure I didn't go in that direction .." you mumbled to yourself and closed your eyes before  a smile escaped your lips. "Well, then I can make sure that he's okay when I am here anyway."

You took a deep breath before ringing the doorbell. It was not your first visit there and you already had a mother-child like relationship with Shiori. To be honest it wasn't difficult to build such a close relationship with such a lovable and warm-hearted woman like Shiori.

Said woman opened the door a few moments later she smiled warmly when she saw the visitor.

“[Y/n]-chan, what a nice surprise that you are coming to visit us again. How are you, dear? “ Shiori asked warmly and pulled you into a motherly hug. You smiled and hugged her back before loosening up and scratching your cheek.

“I'm fine, thanks for asking. Hopefully you too. I'm here because I wanted to see Shuuichi .. He doesn't come to school anymore and .. I just wanted to see how he is doing. " You explained. Shiori's smile fell slowly, the condition of her son was troubling her too.

"Shuuichi has been acting really weird for two weeks ..", Shiori began and looked at the ground. Two weeks, yes that was exactly when the Yakumo thing came up. "He hardly comes out of his room, doesn't eat and stares absently in front of himself .." she explained and you saw how hurt Shiori was about the mental absence of her son. You put your arms reassuringly around the older woman's shoulders and smiled confidently at her.

"That is why I am here. I'm going to kick Shuuichi in the butt so that he can at least eat again. Don't worry, Shiori-san. Shuuichi has had a lot of stress in school and with his friends lately. He doesn't mean it that way, really. " You spoke softly and hugged Shiori again. It was like Shiori was your own mother.

“Thank you for your comforting words, dear. It's just, I've never seen Shuuichi like that before. And that just worries me. " She sighed.

“Me too, believe me. Can I see him? " You asked.

“You don't need to ask permission. He's in his room. That he hasn't left in days. As I said, he doesn't even touch the food, which I put in front of the door .. "

"You know what, don't bring him food today. Just cook as usual and set the table for Shuuichi and me. I'll make sure he comes down.“ You promised her with a smile and that calmed Shiori down again when she nodded gratefully and smiled.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Really."

As Shiori moved away for you to come in, you greeted Hatanaka and Kokoda, Hatanaka's son, as you made your way to Kurama's room. If he didn't want to see you, he could still say it in your face. But now it was important to see how he was doing, when even Shiori was already very worried. That wasn't a good sign ..

In front of his room, you knocked so gently that Kurama probably thought you were his mother.

"I'm not hungry, mother." He answered slightly monotonously and you sighed softly. That was really not the Kurama you knew and you didn't want to leave him in a state like this. Without further hesitation, you opened the door to his room and stepped inside. Kurama, lying on his bed, jumped a bit when the door opened. "I said, I-" his sentence stopped when he didn't see his mother, but you. "...Oh sorry. I thought you were my mother. "

You smiled a little and carefully stepped closer.

"I'ts all right. Please forgive me for showing up unannounced, but .. We are all really worried about you. "You spoke. "Yusuke said, you haven't been to school for weeks and your mother said that you hardly ate anything." Your words became quieter and softer when you looked into his face. He looked unhealthy pale and the glow of his emerald green irises was gone. "Kurama, it is really not a good thing that you distance yourself and try to escape your depressive hole on your own."

Kurama was silent as he listened to you. Did he really looked depressed? He hadn't noticed that at all.

"I'm not distancing myself." He tried to defend himself.

“You do. You even avoid your family and ignore our messages completely. " You contradicted him directly.

"Because I need time for myself?"

A low sigh escaped you. Who could have guessed how stubborn this fox could be when he wanted to? Without saying anything else, you stepped closer until you were right in front of his bed. Then you put your arms around him and pressed him against your body.

“Then why doesn't get your condition better when you're alone? Don't fool yourself, Kurama. Being alone is the last thing you need right now. " You spoke softly and hugged him even more to your body. Kurama allowed you every touch, there was so much trust between you two. After all, that's how it should be in a relationship. The fox sighed in defeat and inhaled your scent deeply.

"Thanks." He said after a short moment of silence.

"For what?"

"That you are so persistent and always go your way." He explained and pulled away from you as he caressed your cheek and smiled slightly. That expression on his face looked much better and you smiled too.

"I have to be persistent because you never admit that you need us." You countered teasingly and were glad that you were able to lure your fox out of his reserved condition. Kurama laughed barely audibly and fell back on his pillow. Then he made a wave of his hand that signaled you to lie down next to him. He didn't have to tell you twice, of course, and you snuggled against his chest as you laid down in bed with him. There was a pleasant silence for a moment, until you spoke up again. "Kuronue must have been a very close friend."

“Yes, he was. We were like brothers. ”Kurama explained with a sad smile. You noticed his broken voice and gently stroked his cheek, trying to comfort him.

"Would you like to tell me more about him?"

"What do you want to know?" Kurama asked, surprised that you were so interested in his old friend.

"How did you meet? What was his personality? How long have you been friends? Things like that. ” You listed and Kurama nodded.

"That could take some time," he warned.

"That doesn't matter, I don't intend to leave you anytime soon." You waved your hand and Kurama chuckled softly before he breathed a short kiss on your lips.

"All right."

And so Kurama began with his stories from his past. How he met Kuronue when they were both still children and had lost their parents in a war. You asked him if demons had "children forms", which he answered with a "yes" and you giggled cutely when you imagined Youko as a child.

"What's so funny?" he asked and squeezed your shoulder affectedly as he held you close.

“Funny is the wrong word. I'm just imagining what you looked like as a kid. With your cute little fox ears, the short tail, shorter white hair. Really lovable and adorable. " You admitted, still giggling. You already saw his Youko form at the Dark Tournament.

“If you put it that way now, it almost sounds as if I couldn't be taken seriously. But I take that as a compliment. At least you don't know how I looked as human child. ” Kurama mused.

"Um, I do. Shiori has already shown me some photo albums. "

"Eh? When? Which?"

Kurama's surprised exclamation was just so cute that you had to laugh again.

“Back from your kindergarten days. You were really cute. And then I saw pictures when you were 14. You are not recognizable at all with short hair. “ You spoke and Kurama smiled.  “I can reassure you, there weren't any embarrassing pictures."

"There are no embarrassing pictures of me."

"And what about the 'shaving accident' when you had to go to kindergarten with a bald head?"

"... how do you know about it?"

"Hahaha."

"At least I didn't think there were monsters in my closet until I was 13." he teased back now and you blushed a little.

"H-Hey, first of all because you're a demon and second, you didn't had a stupid big brother who told you horror stories and even hid in the closet at night to scare me to death."

"Touché"

You both looked at each other and then shared a laugh. It was so good to see him laughing again.

Kurama went on to tell how he and Kuronue had gone on missions together and how the two were constantly endangered by Youko's spontaneity and carelessness. The expression on his face was priceless when you said that you can imagine that he must have been a chaotic as Youko.

It actually took some time before Kurama's stories were exhausted and he closed his eyes. He hadn't talked so much about his past in a long time.

“I hope it wasn't too difficult to tell me all of this. The last thing I want is to open more wounds. ", You apologized and averted your gaze, feeling a little guilty. You really hoped that your curiosity did not cause him to fall deeper into the hole of depression again. A warm hand on your cheek brought your face back in his direction and you saw him smile genuinely.

“To be honest, I also thought that it hurts to talk about it, but .. I have to say that I feel much more liberated now. It was so good to tell our stories and refresh my memories. I am not sad, [Y/n]. I am happy. Happy about the memories that I regained of my old friend again and happy that I could talk that off my mind. " He spoke softly. You smiled and leaned your head on his.

"See? You just needed someone to talk to."

“No, not 'someone'. You are exactly the person I needed without realizing it. So .. thank you for coming here. " He whispered and pulled you into a gentle and innocent kiss. You closed your eyes and returned the kiss just as lovingly, until the lack of oxygen caused the two of you to break away from the kiss. You leaned forehead against forehead and Kurama hugged his you close.

"No need to thank me. I wanted to show up earlier, but Yusuke and Hiei advised me against doing so. They said you needed this break to collect your thoughts. "

"Yusuke said something like that?" Kurama asked incredulously, causing you to laugh again.

"Let's say Hiei said it."

"I see. I really needed time for myself, but .. I didn't realize how much I would miss you during this time. "

"Oh? A phone call would have been enough and I would have been with you immediately. " You teased him and played with one of his strands of hair.

"Maybe I wanted to see how long it would take until you couldn't take it anymore without me?" He teased back and his hand caressed your clothed bum shamelessly.

"As I said, it only took me so long because of Hiei. If it had been up to me, I would have shown up on the first day you were absent. " You pouted. Kurama smiled. He wouldn't have thought it was possible, but you actually managed to lift him out of his cloud of sorrow. "Can you do me a favor?" You asked then.

"Anything you want," he said, caressing your cheek lovingly. You leaned into his touch and sighed blissfully. Oh, how you had missed this closeness to him in the past two weeks.

“Are you coming downstairs for dinner? I told Shiori to cook for both of us and that I will definitely bring you downstairs. With or without your consent, so better say yes. " You warned with a wink, whereupon Kurama's smile only broadened and softened.

“Of course I'll come with you. Even if I would like to see how you 'force' me. " He said and saw you grin.

"Oh. No you don't want to. I can assure you of that, fox. “ You whispered resolutely and then got up from your cozy, cuddled up to your boyfriend in bed, place,. “Dinner should be ready soon. Let's get down there. "

“Today is Friday, mother always does something more elaborate today. She probably have just started cooking. ”Kurama commented.

"I know. That's exactly why we're going downstairs. You can finally talk to your stepfather and stepbrother again and I'll help Shiori in the kitchen. “ You answered and when you saw how Kurama opened his mouth to say something, you cut him off. “And no, Kurama, I will not allow myself to be talked out of helping. I kind of invited myself to dinner. So it is the least that I can do and help Shiori with the cooking. ”You said and Kurama just smiled silently. He knew that if his girlfriend got something on her mind, he got stuck with arguments. And in that case he would be the last one to forbid you to integrate into his family.

The young couple left the room and came down the stairs, when Shiori heard two sets of footsteps and ran from the kitchen to the living room, which was adjacent to the stairs.

"Shuuichi ..!" She shouted and smiled in relief when she saw that her son seemed apparently better.

"Sorry for bothering you, mother." He apologized and hugged his mother tightly. Shiori shook her head in understanding.

"The main thing is that you are better. I am so glad that you are back on track. You looked so terrible the last few days .. So pale, as if the spirits of life had left you. "

"What? That bad? " Kurama asked, shocked, before Hatanaka laughed gently and put his arm around his son-in-law like a companion.

“Yes, my boy. But as I can see you had a very good therapy from this phase. You look great. “ he agreed. Kurama smiled and closed his eyes.

“I'm sorry for all the grief. But you're right, I actually had the best therapy you can imagine. " He spoke and looked at you, making you avert your gaze in embarassment and playing with one of your strands of hair.

"Ahaha. I'll go into the kitchen and help Shiori with the cooking. "

"Dear, you really don't have to. Basically everything has already been prepared. "

"I still want to help."

"Alright."

Kurama smiled contentedly when the two women disappeared towards the kitchen and he stayed in the living room with Hatanaka.

"And we can also make ourselves useful and set the table."

"Yes, stepfather."

Kurama smiled again and looked into the kitchen. Shiori and you laughed together and talked lively. He was so happy that his loved one and his mother got along so well. But then again ... Was there anyone who didn't get along with Shiori? She was downright an angel. The dearest person on earth. Only such a person could eventually change his demonic beliefs.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

During dinner you sat between Kurama and Shiori, next to her Hatanaka and Kokoda rounded off the table on the other side to Kurama. Everyone talked freely and Kurama seemed to have finally found his way back to his friendly nature.

Under the table, his hand wandered inconspicuously next to him while he was eating and gently took your hand to give it an affectionate squeeze. You looked under the table beside you and smiled as you looked up at Kurama and looked into his happily vibrating irises. You two lingered in this rigidity for a moment until Kokoda blinked and looked under the table.

"Can't you two keep your hands off each other for 5 minutes?" Kokoda asked amused and Hatanaka scolded his son with clearing his throat. Kurama and you blushed because you were caught and looked into the smiling faces of Shiori and Hatanaka. Despite this situation, Kurama did not let go of your hand.

“There is a lot of catching up to do. We haven't seen each other for 2 weeks, ” the redhead smiled, slightly cheeky.

"And whose fault is that?", You asked teasingly, which made Kokoda laugh.

"She owned you, brother."

"It would be unfair if I were always the winner in the relationship."

Kurama's quick-witted answer made you open your mouth a little indignantly in shock before looking at Kurama's smiling face. He winked at you to make you understand that it was all just kidding. But of course you knew that beforehand.

“Shuuichi, don't be so complacent. Of course you are the winner in this relationship. After all, I'm a good catch. " You said jokingly, whereupon Kokoda patted his brother on the shoulder in a friendly manner.

"Your girlfriend is really on fire, Shuuichi." He said with a grin.

"Indeed." Kurama agreed with his stepbrother and pulled on your hand, which he held the whole time, to pull you close with a little more force. Now his lips were on your ear and his voice was deep and low so that his family could not hear what he was whispering in your ear. “Without you, this dinner  would be pretty uncomfortable. But the mood is so harmonic and relaxed. Thank you, my love. " He whispered in your ear and you suppressed a blissful sigh before putting your arm around his head to move so that this time your mouth was at his ear and you could whisper back.

“It's just because you have a really great family. With them you can just laugh and feel good. Believe me, we are all happy that you’re back to being the old Shuuichi we all love. So no need to thank me. "You breathed in his ear and Kurama's smile turned into an almost embarrassed grin.

"Awww. Get a room, lovebirds. " Kokoda said, until he was scolded again by Hatanaka. Man, this boy could be even more annoying than Yusuke with his comments. This two would certainly get along well.

After this incident, the rest of the dinner was quieter and everyday things were talked about. Kurama thanked you for being so prescient and for telling Shiori a good excuse that explained his condition. He could never told her the truth. It was almost frightening to him how well you could adapt to the circumstances of his family and almost automatically only call him Shuuichi automatically when you entered the house. He often had to interrupt Yusuke or Kuwabara when they wanted to adress him as Kurama in front of his mother, because they had simply forgotten that Shiori knew nothing of his true identity.

"The food was really delicious, Shiori." You said then.

“Thank you, but actually it was partly the food that you helped with. So you basically gave yourself a compliment. " Shiori replied, laughing gently.

"Heh. I was just helping you out. I can't come close to your culinary skills. " You laughed and saw Shiori get up to get the dishes. "Stay seated. I'll take care of that. "

“Oh no, you are a guest. I shouldn't have allowed you to help in the first place. There is no way I could let you do the dishes. " Shiori sighed with a guilty conscience.

“I don't mind! The food was so delicious and you can treat yourself to some rest. After all, you have to cook and run the household for three men who are always hungry. I bet nobody will help you from this lazy himbos! " You snorted in a „not serious“ tone and pointed to the men.

"That's not true. Kazuya helps me a lot and Shuuichi also does what he can. Kokoda also has his household chores, which he does, thanks to Shuuichi. " Shiori explained with a smile.

"Really? Okay, then I didn't say anything. But I still do the dishes. I can always relax and pursue my thoughts, " You explained further.

"If you don't take mother's help, may I help you with the dishes?" Kurama's voice was soft as he put his hand on your shoulder and brushed down a few stray strands of hair. A tender smile was reflected on his lips.

"Oah, please no sex in the kitchen. That's so unhygienic. " Kokoda groaned annoyed, but he continued to grin when the couple turned away from each other, blushing.

"Of course you can. But no roaming hands." You warned and Kurama chuckled as he followed you into the kitchen. Shiori and Hatanaka looked at each other and laughed heartily.

"They are so cute together."

"Indeed. I'm so happy that Shuuichi has finally found someone who makes him so happy. "

"Yes."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

In the kitchen, you hummed happily as you washed the dishes. You really enjoyed Kurama's family. They were so warm and harmonious and you already felt like a member of the family. Above all, however, you were infinitely happy that your Kurama was back to normal and no longer isolated from everyone.

“It would be the best if we give Yusuke a call and tell him that you are feeling better. Otherwise he'll bomb me with countless messages tomorrow and want to know how my visit went. " You chuckled.

"Mhm. Or we just keep our cell phones off and just enjoy the next few days as a couple? ” Kurama suggested instead, which elicited an embarrassed smile from you.

“A tempting idea. But it's not fair for our other friends. They're very worried about you too. Please. ” You said then and Kurama couldn't help but put the towel, he was holding to dry the dishes, aside and put his arms around you from behind to hold you tight.

"Alright. A short feedback can be set up. But after that I would like to be undisturbed with my girlfriend for a while. Or do you have any objection? ”He asked and began to nibble on your earlobe. You stopped your work and closed your eyes to gasp softly.

"No, I haven't," You replied softly, whereupon Kurama grinned against your skin and kissed your neck.

"Good .." he breathed and his hands went under your shirt to caress the bare skin underneath.

"S-Shuuichi .. Not .. here." Your protests were quiet and uncertain. Kurama started sucking on your neck while his hands went to your breasts and gently squeezed them over your bra. "Your family could hear us .."

"Then you shouldn't be so loud, huh?" Kurama purred in a deep and erotic voice that left no room for discussion. You bit your lip as he put his knee between your legs from behind and used his knee to grind and rub at your crotch. His fingers flicked your clothed nipples and his mouth was hot and greedy between your neck and shoulder.

"N-No .. We can't …" it was rare that you resisted against such intimacies. In fact, you never had any objections. "... I don't trust my mouth ..." You explained afterwards.

Kurama kissed your neck gently up to your ear before looking at her questioningly. "I find your mouth trustworthy." He smiled and took your earlobe into his mouth to suck on it. You sighed and slowly moved away from him before turning around and looking deeply and apologetically into his eyes.

"You do not understand this. I'm afraid ... that the name I'm going to moan won't be Shuuichi. " You said very quietly and Kurama understood now. He smiled understandingly and pulled you into a gentle hug before kissing your forehead lovingly.

"I understand. Thank you for your care. " He whispered against your lips before giving you a gentle kiss.

You smiled gratefully and laid your head on his shoulder. "It's fine. Maybe we'll find a soundproof room here. " You smirked jokingly. Kurama glanced at you with an illegible face before lifting you up in his arms. "Wh-?"

"The bathroom is soundproof," he grinned.

"… Seriously? .." You laughed and put your hand  over your forehead when your redhead only smiled innocently at you. "And the dishes?"

“Let's foist them off to my stepbrother. He's been neglecting his duties lately anyway. Just like me in .. certain other things. " He whispered and kissed your lips gently. You blushed after realizing what he meant and just giggled happily as Kurama carried you past his family with a laugh and asked Kokoda to continue the dishes.

You disappeared up the stairs to the bathroom and were not seen again that evening.

Everything was the same again.

[silvernmusings]

The Beginning

Since starting this journey of healing and introspection, I have found myself unsure of where to begin. I’ve tried pin-pointing a moment in my past where I feel it all began, but I have come up empty handed at every turn. Until now.

My biggest struggle as of late has been finding the strength to be vulnerable and candid about my mental health when seeking help from my loved ones. I very rarely express my true feelings because I fear that they will not understand, or that they will not care, or that I will be deemed altogether Too Much. 

I decided that this is where I should start. I took a deep dive into myself to try to figure out why I feel this way, and I came across a memory I have kept neatly buried for over a decade. And that memory revealed the reason for this great struggle of mine.

When I was 14 years old, I experienced my first true mental breakdown. I had always struggled with anxiety and night terrors, due to many traumatic experiences as a baby and as a child, but this was the first time it presented itself in this way in my adolescence. 

I suffered from daily panic attacks and constant feelings of anxiety and dread. I told my parents that I was afraid I might lose control and harm myself, so they took the necessary steps to get me the help I needed.

Those steps led to me being placed in an intake program for troubled youths. I spent a couple of weeks there, it was kind of like going to school. It wasn’t a full intake program, so I got to go home every day and then my parents would take me back each morning. I didn’t find it particularly beneficial while I was there, I was mostly uncomfortable because everybody else there seemed to have “real” issues and I felt that I didn’t belong because my issues weren’t “that bad”. I have since come to see the misguided nature of those thoughts and to truly appreciate the help that I received there.

To be released from the program, my parents and I had to have a meeting with the resident psychiatrist at the facility and come up with a plan to continue my treatment outside of the program. The psychiatrist officially diagnosed me with anxiety and depression, and prescribed me medication to treat those illnesses. Then they matched me with a therapist, wished me well, and sent us on our way.

In the days leading up to that first therapy appointment, my parents encouraged me to be vulnerable and honest and to not hide my feelings, to understand that the therapist is there to help me. I was nervous and uncomfortable, but I wanted to get the help I needed so I vowed to myself that I would be fully transparent and tell the therapist everything I was feeling.

That first therapy session will forever be burned into my memory as one of the most traumatic events of my young life.

The day finally came and I found myself sitting in a big, mostly empty, room on a high-up floor in a very tall building in downtown Philadelphia. I don’t remember much of what was said, as the appointment lasted approximately five minutes at most, but I know it went something like this: I broke down in tears on the sofa and explained that I was scared of what was going on inside my head, scared that I would lose control of myself and hurt myself even though I didn’t want to, and that I had no idea how to make it better. I was so sure that this woman would be able to help me, but instead she looked at me in near-disgust and said “I can’t handle this” and then she left the room. 

When she came back a moment later, she informed me that she was having me hospitalized. I was terrified.

Many things happened after this event, but I will not go into detail about them now. Perhaps in the future, as those events become more relevant to my journey, I will recount those memories. But, for now, what is important is how this traumatic experience has shaped me for over a decade, in ways that I didn’t even realize until just a few days ago.

I have such an intense fear of being vulnerable, of being completely transparent about my feelings, for fear of being too much, or not being taken seriously. I often fear that nobody will believe me because I have kept my true feelings hidden for so long, so these immense emotions of despair and hopelessness and pain and fear will seem new and I am terrified that my loved ones will think I am making it all up in some sort of scheme to garner attention and sympathy.

This fear of being misunderstood or perceived as too much or as inauthentic, I now understand, stem from that first experience I had with being truly vulnerable. All I ever knew about being vulnerable was that it was too much and would not get me the help I needed, so I quickly learned to hide it and pretend to be fine so that I wouldn’t be a burden to those I loved. That first therapist telling me she couldn’t handle my emotions, the look she gave me, had permanently damaged my ability to be vulnerable and has led me to this point where I am a young adult who is too afraid to express the extent of my struggles for fear of being cast out by those I love most.

While I feel immense pain over this realization, I also feel a strong resolve to move forward with vulnerability and honesty, regardless of how uncomfortable I may feel. I know that to move forward and to truly heal, I must overcome this obstacle. I am lucky enough to have a support system who will be there for me through it all, even in my moments of doubt and fear. I know that, with their love and support, I can get through this and everything else I encounter along the way. Even in the moments when I may doubt these truths, I know that they will carry me when I cannot carry myself.

[himbokkun]

pairing: kuroo tetsurou x fem!reader wordcount: 1.5k warnings: mainly angst, but there's smut too, alcohol use, petnames (baby, kitten, sweetheart, angel), nipple play and praise for a sec and that's it ig a/n: haha definitely this wasn't based on true events haha i'm totally not coping with writing. anyways this is my first time ever writing a fic?? and i literally wrote this at 4 am while i was almost drunk. so not proofread. sorry if there are typos or shit that doesn't make sense. i will read when i wake up but i'm just too excited to post??? enjoy AND DON'T FORGET TO GIVE ME FEEDBACK<3

kuroo sent you a text. “babe when you leave work go to my place okay missed you!’’ you love kuroo. you know you love him. but the thing is this scares you. how much you love him, how much you depend on him. it’s scary for you because it is too much. he’s too nice to you. he always tries to be the best even though he already is. he makes you the happiest. he gives you everything he can. at the back of your head you always think that you don’t deserve him, his kindness, his support.

you’re scared. not because love is scary. it’s because loving him is too easy. he makes it too easy but love has never been this easy for you. your relationship with him is too good to be true. that’s why you always think he’s gonna leave you. he’ll get tired of dealing with you. he’ll get sick of you doing nothing. whenever you have a breakdown he’ll think you’re weird. he won’t understand how you deal with things and eventually, he’ll leave. or one day he’ll realize he never loved you and he will leave. in every scenario, he leaves. and you won’t be able to stop him. you won’t be able to make him love you again. and you know that you can't heal from that. you’re scared of getting more attached than you already are. that’s why you’ll leave him first. you’ll leave before he can. but you wanna feel him. you wanna feel his touch, wanna enjoy being in his presence one last time. because he makes you feel good. he always makes you feel the best. and you want that one more time. you reply. “okay, i’ll wait you at your place.’’ so you did. you went to his place. wearing the lingerie he bought for you. and you waited. when he came home, you felt your heart breaking. he was so excited to see you. you engraved his bright smile to your mind. the smile that made your day.. the thought of never being able to see that smile again made your heart clench. but it needed to be done. for the better. and when he kissed you with all the passion he has, you felt guilty. there were so many times you felt that way through the night. and this was one of them. he asked you “baby, is everything alright?’’ you nodded. “sorry, i just felt like i needed to ask. i’m glad everything’s okay.’' and he smiled and kissed you again. you felt the guilt again. you both talked about your days while drinking wine. after both of you got a little tipsy at the couch, his hands started to move around your sides while he kissed you. he placed you in his lap. you pulled his hair while kissing him, eliciting the most sinful moan out of him. he whispered “i fucking love you” into your mouth, choking on his breath. and that alone would be enough to make you wet. he really is so pretty like this. desperate for your touch, lust and admiration in his eyes, all yours. you felt guilty again. because only you knew this was the last time he’ll feel you like this. he gets loud when he drinks, you knew that. but still you were surprised how loud the moan that came out of his mouth when you started grinding. and this made you wanting more. still grinding on now his hard cock, you moaned “tetsu –nrgh ah. j-just fuck me already.’' he chuckled. “okay. let’s get you to the bedroom first, hm?’’ “no. no, i can’t- want you to fuck me here.” you said. “feeling needy today, huh, kitten?’’ you nodded while kissing and biting his neck, giving him bruises. after all, you wanted to feel him more, one last time, right. but giving him marks was evil. it felt like you gave him a reminder of this night, of you leaving. you felt guilty, once again. he lifted you off of his lap so he could unzip his pants. you were lazily kissing him while undoing his shirts buttons. after you were done undressing him, he undressed you in a minute. he touched your sensitive cunt. “you’re already so wet for me sweetheart.’’ you blushed at his comment. he pumped two of his fingers in your pussy, earning a moan from you. “tetsu- wait, stop. i don’t need stretch. just fuck me. please.’’ you said. he looked confused. ‘’whatever you say, kitten.’’ and with that he removed his fingers and licked them. you looked at him weirdly and he said “what? you taste good. can’t i taste my pretty kitten?’’ not being able to form a thought, you only moaned. he moved his now shiny lips to your tits. kissing one and groping the other. “hm? is it that bad if i wanna taste my baby, when she’s all wet for me?’’ he said. you once again, moaned. he bited your nipple while pinching the other. you were growing impatient. pulling his hair you said “are you gonna fuck me or do i need to do that all by myself?’’ “ooh someone’s impatient.

why don’t you do the latter?’’ “oh. i will.’’ with that you put his leaky tip inside of you. earning a groan from him. you began to take his length in. “ yeah that’s my kitten. taking me so well.’’ he praised. after you took all of his length, you waited for him to thrust. he didn’t. so you slowly began to ride him. holding onto his shoulders for support. your agonizingly slow pace made him impatient. wrapping one arm around your waist, other on your back, burying his face on your chest, he controlled the thrusts. you hold his face that was at your chest with both of your arms. you two were holding onto each other. with this position, it almost looked like you two were hugging each other. his thrusts got faster. you pulled his hair and he looked up to you. “tet- tetsu, fuck, i’m so close.’’ you said. he replied, speaking through his teeth “oh yeah? why don’t you come for me then? come all around this dick, huh? you can do that for me, right?’’ with his words you climaxed. your insides squeezing him made him orgasm as well. kissing your forehead he moved you off of his lap. you bursted into tears after some time he got blankets around both of you. you two stayed like that for a minute. “let’s get you clean- woah hey, hey angel? what’s wrong? did i hurt you? tell me, what’s wrong?’’ he said moving his hand to your cheek. you thought about if you should tell him you were gonna leave right now for a minute, still leaning for his touch. and decided it would be the best to tell him now. “tetsu, i’m sorry. i can’t do this anymore.” you said. “y/n? why are you saying this out of nowhere? we were just having a good time, what’s going on?’’ he replied. “i just can’t do this. i’m sorry. you can do much better. i can’t always feel like i’m holding you back from the stuff you wanna do. i can’t always feel like i owe you for loving me. i can’t just sit and wait for you to break my heart. i can’t-’’ “so you’ll leave? over something that didn’t even happen?’’ he cut you off. he looked hurt. you couldn’t answer him. with glossy eyes, choking back on a tear he said “you know, it’s not fair that you were the only one knowing this was the last time i’ll ever touch you.’’ you couldn’t answer him, again. you just cried more. “i’m sorry, tetsu. i fucking hate seeing you like this. i hate to see your heartbreak.’’ you said, crying still. you continued “i know i’ve said i wouldn’t let my past affect my relationship with you. but i failed. i love you and i’m sorry for letting you down like this. i’ll always remember you good. i hope you can too. you’ll always have a special place in my heart. i wish you the best this world can ever give.’’ “y/n, it seems like you’ve already made up your mind. so all i’m gonna say is i love you. i always have, i always will. i hope you’ll be with someone who’ll love you more than me. so that you never doubt their love and actually be happy with them.’’ he replied. you both cried, not looking at each other. you dressed and grabbed your stuff. with red, puffy eyes and rough voice he said “don’t worry about your stuff. i’ll drop them by your house tomorrow.’’ you thanked him. he walked you to the door and opened it for you. “be careful okay, it’s kinda late now.’’ he said. “yeah i will, thanks.’’ you two awkwardly stood at the door frame for a moment. you should’ve leave right then. but you didn’t. instead you hugged him. you wanted to feel his warm hugs one last time. you wanted to feel safe in his arms, just one more time. he hugged you back, he held you as long as he can. you whispered “i’m sorry.’’ to his chest, not knowing if he even heard it. you pulled apart after some time. he patted your back. you looked at him once more, burying his image into your mind. “so. this is it, huh.’’ he said. “yeah.’’ “goodbye, y/n l/n.’’ “goodbye, kuroo tetsurou.’’

[shima-draws]

Hiro is here!! We've all been waiting for him!!

You know the drill by now, all the yummy details about his background are under the cut ;) Also be warned it is VERY long I went a little feral writing his backstory lmao

Hiro

Age: 17

Hair color: Orange

Eye color: Pink

Element: Psychic & Forest

Okay so a lot of this is gonna be stuff I'm pulling from posts I've already written to make it easier on myself and so I don't have to repeat anything.

Before he was born, the Novune Forces approached Hiro's parents because they knew that he would be born as a dual elemental. Part of their goal was to raise several dual type children to become human weapons--they targeted dual type babies specifically because they're said to be more powerful since they can use more than one elemental type.

It was the perfect opportunity for Hiro's parents because at the time they were not ready for a child despite agreeing that they were going to have it. Ofc the Forces did not reveal their plans so to them it turned into a nice surrogate parent situation where Hiro's mother would give birth to him and he'd immediately be given up for adoption afterwards. It was definitely hard for them to part with him but they trusted he'd be in good care. Well. That turned out great, as you can probably tell :')

Hiro, along with Kaz and Mallary, became the Forces' iconic trio, with Hiro considered to be the golden child and the most dangerous between the three of them because of his high intellect and skill in combat. He grew up under a very strict regimen and would spend hours each day dedicated to training both his mind and his elemental powers. He's an extremely gifted psychic elemental and took to his abilities almost immediately--he’s able to read his opponents movements and set up traps before they can even get to him. He’s usually airborne for most battles he’s in; he finds it easier to strategize from a higher vantage point, and he also just likes to float around and dodge enemy attacks and act like an ass lmao. He’s a pro at immobilizing his enemies so they can no longer move, ending his battles swiftly and cleanly. Physically he’s not very powerful so he uses a magic staff to fight. His intelligence more than makes up for his lack of super strength!

He has a special power like Kaz’s extra dragon typing (and, like Kaz, he has a streak in his hair from the experimentation)—Hiro gets visions of death, basically predictions of the future, and his visions are never wrong. He’s able to see who dies in battle and the Forces use this to their advantage so that they can prepare around any casualties. Hiro hates getting these visions because he doesn’t like seeing people die, he witnesses their last moments and it’s certainly traumatizing for him;; and like Kaz, this power was something he only unlocked through lots of experimentation on him, so he usually passes out for hours after getting a vision since it’s not a “natural” ability he was born with.

As for his second typing, it was something he never really clicked with. Forest elementals have to be very attuned to nature and are generally more kindhearted and gentle people, but since Hiro grew up in a base with only limited access to the outside (and because he’s forced into acting as an antagonist), his forest elemental powers were repressed over the years. He’s already powerful enough as a psychic elemental so he doesn’t feel the need to resort to a second power, especially since his superiors viewed his second typing as useless and he never received proper training on how to use it. He's already a huge threat as he is so they said good enough. The Forces believe that if something is useless, throw it away, so they eventually abandoned any hope of him succeeding in bettering his forest powers, and focused solely on enhancing his psychic abilities and making his death visions clearer.

Before Hiro became the cold-hearted and snarky colonel that the Forces know him as, he was actually a very kind child with an aversion to violence, and cried often. That got forced out of him pretty quickly though--he learned right away that disobedience means punishment and the only way to pay for his mistakes is by verbal and physical abuse. Poor baby :'( He and Kaz and Mallary go through a LOT of unfair shit as kids. The event that really drove home his intense determination and flawless record was the first mission he was ever sent out on.

This happened when he was around 13. Usually members of the Forces don't get to go out on solo missions unless they have a high position or are old enough to, but he was the exception because of his talent and because it was an experiment to see if he could handle it. His mission was to infiltrate a small, family run guild and basically gather intel and find out what their agenda was, as there were rumors they knew of some of the Forces’ plans. Upon Hiro’s arrival to the town where the guild was situated, he ends up rescuing the Guildmaster’s daughter, Lorelai, who is around his age. Unknowingly, he triggered his forest elemental powers, which caused them to land in a field of flowers he’d bloomed. Because of this, Lorelai starts to call him Flower, since he couldn’t come up with a codename in time and he doesn’t have a real name anyway lol

A couple weeks pass and Hiro spends more and more time with the guild, growing closer to Lorelai and being lulled into a false sense of security. He becomes extremely jealous of how the guild lives, and is very emotional at how much of a family they are, and how sweetly they treat him. Hiro starts to ponder over whether or not he should be sneaking around behind their back, when one day the guild is attacked while he’s out. When he returns, the village is set ablaze, and when Hiro demands what’s going on, his superior informs him that he was merely a decoy to get their defenses down, since apparently the Forces had definitive proof that they knew of their plans. His superior orders Hiro to search the village and kill anybody who was left.

Hiro, panicked, searches for Lorelai, and finds her hiding in the forest nearby. He apologizes to her and has a mental breakdown, blaming himself for all of her misfortune. Lorelai realizes that he’s being kept in the Forces against his will and begs him to run away with her. Hiro knows that he’ll be hunted down if he does, and Lorelai could get hurt, so he tells her he has to stay with them. In the midst of this, they are confronted with the current colonel of the Forces, who encourages Hiro to kill Lorelai. Hiro refuses, and the colonel calls him out for insubordination. The colonel then decides to kill both of them in order to get a promotion. Hiro leaps to defend both Lorelai and himself, and in the scuffle, receives the scar on his head, and accidentally kills the colonel. Traumatized, bloodied, and terrified, Lorelai is the one to apologize to him as he cries his eyes out. Hiro numbly reassures her and tells her to run while she can. Lorelai admits that she loves him and bids him farewell, hoping that they can meet again, and that she’s sorry she can’t do more for him.

This is when Hiro decides to become the perfect agent—dangerous, cruel, and flawless, so that something like this never happens again, and so that he can have enough power to make the decisions rather than just following orders to mindlessly kill people. From then on out he does what he’s told without any complaints and has a record for never failing a single mission the Forces have given to him. Any enemy considers him to be absolutely ruthless because he does not hesitate in battles and will neutralize with no questions asked. He’s a cocky little bastard around enemies lmao he loves to snark them and tease them. He’s strictly against killing after what happened to the colonel, so instead, if it’s a high risk operation, he erases the memories of his targets to reduce the threat. Because he’s so uncomfortable with the thought of death in general he reasons that losing your memories is better than dying, and that makes it easier on the Forces as well since they’ll leave less of a trail rather than just killing people left and right. 

Growing up, Hiro didn’t interact with Kaz very much, and they usually just saw each other in passing. However they both respect each other a great amount, and they sympathize with each other, being in the same sort of situation. Both the Hiro and Kaz hate their upbringing and hold a grudge against their superiors for their treatment and experimentation on them;; As for Mallary, Hiro became enamored with her because she reminds him a lot of Lorelai (who he later admits to being his first love). He finds her strength captivating and the way she doesn’t give a shit about other people’s opinions admirable. Hiro eventually falls prey to her manipulation and falls over himself to please her, which bothers Kaz because he knows Mallary’s just toying with him.

After the Forces’ plan to kidnap Ginni and use her as a hostage blows up in their face, Hiro finds out that Kaz had escaped with her, and commends him on the extremely smart decision to do so lol. He wonders if he should start considering leaving the Forces as well, seeing as he’s mature and responsible (and smart) enough to make it on his own. He’s ordered to retrieve Kaz which was a HUGE mistake on the Forces’ part because they didn’t realize Hiro’s loyalties lied more with people on the outside. Hiro meets up with Kaz and Kaz eventually convinces him to desert the Forces and work with him to stop their plans. Hiro agrees to work as a double agent for a while, leaking all of the Forces’ information to Kaz, Ginni, and the guild. In the midst of all this, Hiro meets Olivia, who pretty much calls dibs on him and she’s like “Listen Ginni got to give Kaz his name so can I give the colonel a name?? Please???” So she starts calling him Hiro! And finally baby boy smarts up and starts crushing on a girl that actually gives a damn about him and god dammit it’s the cutest fucking case of puppy love since Dusk/Nozomi. Hiro absolutely adores her, but he’s too nervous to actually do anything about it because he’s got huge abandonment issues (thanks again bad parenting! And Mallary!) and doesn’t want to ruin one of the only genuine friendships he’s ever had. But he is head over HEELS for Olivia and it’s so……softe.

Mallary finds out that Hiro’s acting as a spy, and retaliates. Hiro realizes just how awfully she’s treated him and defeats her, allowing him to escape and officially join up with the guild.

After that it’s a whole bunch of crazy action stuff as plans come together and they get to take down the Forces. Hiro falls harder and deeper for Olivia while she remains oblivious (at least, for a little while, until she finally starts noticing). He grows closer to Kaz and Ginni as well, and begins connecting with Kaz on a deep level because of their shared history. (They’re kind of like brothers, and Hiro considers him to be his best friend :’) )

Once the Forces are defeated, Hiro and Kaz both decide to go on a journey of self discovery in order to better themselves and learn more about the world they haven’t seen due to being locked up for so many years. Kaz and Ginni are already on the verge of forming a relationship, but with Olivia and Hiro it’s still tentative since she’s unsure and he still feels inadequate as a romantic partner. Olivia admits that she likes him and Hiro is so happy he’s ready to burst, but then he realizes it’s not the right time for them to be together so he gently rejects her. (Olivia takes this as an actual rejection tho not a “I’m not ready to be in a relationship with you yet tho I WANT to” and Ginni’s like YA’LL ARE SO DUMB I S2G).

Hiro and Kaz go their separate ways, and Hiro travels around for a while! He eventually settles in a lovely little village where he learns about his forest elemental powers and how to use them better. He’s finally able to connect with other people and essentially becomes way softer around the edges, revealing the true personality he had when he was a kid. A year or so passes and suddenly Kaz, Ginni and Olivia show up to reunite with him, and not long after that Hiro and Olivia FINALLY get together and start dating 😔👌 (Ginni: TOOK you look enough, god)

At some point the four of them go on a journey together and Hiro runs into his biological parents again…!! And he finds out he has a younger sister and they all reconnect and it’s SO EMOTIONAL

Other than that I think that’s all I have 🤔 Thanks for reading though this epic rollercoaster ride of a story plot lol!

Extra personality traits

-Hiro’s sarcasm and snarkiness is a defense mechanism to prevent anybody from seeing his vulnerable side, and also a way to trick the fear inside of him. Kaz is the one to point this out actually lol

-Despite that he does enjoy teasing people lightheartedly and being sassy, once he gets comfortable enough with them! There is a difference between his snarkiness towards enemies compared to that towards friends

-Is EXTREMELY loyal to the people he cares about. At first he tends to act prickly and kind of standoffish towards people he doesn’t know well. Over time he becomes more open to trusting others. Once you earn his trust and he deems you worthy of his friendship he instantly becomes softer and kinder haha, it’s like a switch

-Often dismisses people that he thinks aren’t worth his time or aren’t smart enough to hold an intelligent conversation with him

-Spends a lot of time reading and gathering knowledge. He is very book smart—but not very people smart :’D He and Kaz will spend hours in the guild’s library, since they’re both very thirsty for information outside of what they studied during their time in the Forces

-Touch starved as FUCK. He flips his shit every time somebody touches him in a friendly way, and will melt into a puddle if he gets hugged

-He can be very nosy and insensitive sometimes, prying into other people’s personal affairs if he thinks he can solve the issue

-Absolutely a tactics expert. He calculates all of his moves very carefully, and uses prediction tactics to leave no room for error. He enjoys coming up with mock battle situations to challenge himself.

-Very self-sacrificial;; he views the lives of those he cares about to be far more important than his own. He’ll lay his life on the line for his friends in an instant

-Is the person in the group who is the least fond of violence. If he can find a way around injuring someone, he’ll do it. He prefers to restrict his enemy’s movements or slow them down so they can’t fight back. He is VERY good at neutralizing opponents before they can even register it

-SUPER speedy. Due to his small size he’s very quick, most people don’t see him coming

-He’s really sensitive about his height fjmaksldmas he snaps at people who make fun of him for it

-Tends to levitate when he’s in deep thought. Olivia finds this very cute

-Blooms flowers when he’s happy/embarrassed

-He’s actually. A very talented dancer :0 During his year away from the guild he learned a lot of folk dances at the village he was living in, and when the others witness it they get really starstruck because it’s super mesmerizing!! He blooms flowers as he dances

-At his core he’s a very compassionate character!!

-After escaping from the Forces, he’s able to express his emotions more openly, and goes back to the way he was as a child. He’s a crybaby :’) He cries whenever someone he cares about gets hurt

-The only person in the group with the fucking brain cell, and the most rational one. Unless Olivia gets involved, then he gets stupid and flustered lmao

[dreamii-yume]

New Episode Update Let’s GOO!!!

Warning : This is just Yume having a mental breakdown, seriously. This episode update was WHACK.

~ MAJOR SPOILERS FOR 68-75 ~

I know we ain’t participating and all but the game reminding you that there’s 10 minutes left to prepare is seriously bad for my heart.

Aah, shiet. Vil is still hurt.

He still has small wounds and scratches that he hid make up. Daddy, I’m worried.

Apparently, yeah, I’m not the only one cause my homeboy, Epel just asked to switch the center role with Vil. THE CONFIDENCE.

Aw, he’s worried about him falling over during stage (And make the performance look bad) Come on, Epel just be honest-

...He finally became the ideal poisoned apple that Vil wanted, huh?

Vil being proud a mom.

But the queen inside him is STRONG.

He’ll embrace the villain in him, OUR QUEEN CAN STILL GO. INJURED, WHO?

...AAND he proceeds to roast Epel again lol Typical Vil.

I love how Epel just accepted a nickname like “Doku Ringo-chan” lol It’s so cute, senior-junior relationship goals right there.

HERE WE GO.

Everyone is actually really confident hahaha

I really wish Deuce’s mom, Ace’s brother, Jamil’s sister, and Vil’s dad were here in person to watch.

HECK I WANT KALIM’S WHOLE FAMILY HERE WHY NOT

T-THEY’RE REALLY LETTING US HEAR THE FULL SONG. 

IS THAT JAMIL RAPPING.

Look at Jamil’s solo SD dancing. LOOK AT IT.

I really fucking love Vil’s singing voice aaa

HIS VOICE IS SO GOOD.

Album when disney.

Is Vil okay.

...aight im hearing some high quality panting here

...dont mind me listening to it a bit too much...

...they’re going to be great reference for some spicy- leave me alone

Vil panting is making me feel SOMETHING.

ANYWAY. THE CROWD IS A MOOD.

IS VIL OKAY.

Unmei no megami is giving me idia ptsd here.

Heartslabyul Senpais are watching their kids, looking all proud *sniff

Oh god, after playing Obey Me, it just occurred to me how similar Cater and Asmodeus’ voices are...

Watch these Senpai dorks act like Ace and Deuce’s second family. Trey being the dad, Riddle being the mom, and Cater being the supportive big bro. It’s so beautiful.

Riddle’s voice is a lot more softer now, I just realized...It’s so soothing...

God i miss u too octavinelle never change

Yeah, why tf did Floyd not audition for this

Bro, can you imagine Nobuhiko Okamoto in the squad as well??? IMAGINE-

Of course, he wasn’t in the mood back then. Of course. Why did i even ask.

IMAGINE FLOYD BEING IN VDC NEXT YEAR.

Omg i miss u too octavinelle never change

Azul’s gonna overblot again with Floyd’s marketing skills lol

Jade coming in like welp i guess thats that. Too bad, huh Azul?

GOD i miss u too octavinelle never change

SAVANA BITCHES HI

I wonder if these mfs knew that Vil just overblotted and malmal was the one who fixed the stage lol

oooh Leona’s sus about something he a sharp boi

Speak up my guy—

still so weird leona taking his job seriously

Malleus looking happier seeing this performance rather than Lilia’s lol

I miss the simpery in Sebek

Silver’s not in the verge of falling into a coma for once wow

Chenya’s so cute.

AND WE’RE BACK TO CUTE HEIGH HO TEAM

fcking shotacons man...im not one to talk

Aw, they didn’t show Neige performance...

The simping in the crowd is a MASSIVE mood.

WHO WINS TELL ME

These night raven fuckers better vote for us and not pull a “oh shie my hand slipped lololol” i swear to god- im gonna throw hands

*me holding my phone and pretending to vote as well

Suspense music intensifies be like-

HAAA

BOIS, ITS ONE VOTE DIFFERENCE WHO IS IT AAAA

WHAT.

HOW DARE- HOW!? HOW DID WE LOSE!?

WE LOST BY ONE VOTE!?

EVERYONE’S SO SHOCKED LOL

vil pls dont overblot again-

Noooo grim’s tuna cans-

WE REALLY LOST TO A LEGIT KIDS SONG.

These children do not have the right to be this cute. I wanna take Timmy, Toby, and Shelpie home.

I swear to god one of these dwarves sounds like Cheka lol Is it Toby?

EPEEELLLL DONT CRRYYYY

KALIMMMM DONT CRRYYYY

KALIM HAVING THE AUDACITY TO SOUNDING LIKE A BIG BROTHER AND THEN CRYING HIS OWN RIGHT AFTER LOLOLOL

I HATE THIS EPISODE YALL MADE MY TWO BOIS CRY IM FIGHTING THIS EPISODE. BURN THIS.

This background music too though im deeeeddd

KALIM IM SO SORRY FOR MAKING A SINFIC ABOUT YOU PLS DONT CRY-

Jamil impressed about Vil being “calm” and Vil just going “h e h. you dont even know.”

....ha...

Monsieur Rook. WHAT did you say.

ROOK VOTED FOR ROYAL SWORD. Are you kidding me. You snek how could you- i loved you

WHAT DID I SAY- Ya’ll night raven fuckers shall not slip by their fingers when voting rook.

Vil is in the brink of passing out aaaaa

I have never heard Ace this pissed before whoa- lol he sounds like Deuce in his delinquent mode

Aw...Rook felt that Neige’s performance carries a stronger bond than theirs :’( it’s hard to put the blame on him when he’s saying all these stuff

It’s just like what they said in the past episodes that it’s really hard voting for your own team when you know the opposing team is better.

Aww...He just wanted Vil to believe in himself more...Rook is such a best man. Im crying-

Oh noooo is Vil gonna cry too nooo- daddy turned to baby really quick SOMEONE GIVE HIM AN EMERGENCY HUG

Well- at least...at least the 100 year record of not being able to win is still going, yeah? Um...bad joke? Sorry, i’ll see myself out-

NEIGE NOT NOW AND YOUR VII-KUN BULLSHIT- we’re having a moment here

Neige is such sweetheart but aaaahh— This makes it worse, we can’t even hate him aaa—

OMG JUST WHEN I THOUGHT THINGS COULDN’T- AAAAA

MONSIEUR ROOK. YOU’RE A FAN OF NEIGE!?

MOTHERFUCKER just got exposed by Neige himself lol

Going to Neige’s shake hand events, sending him letters, buying all his merch and shie- HE’S A FULL BLOWN NEIGE STAN

WTF YOU SNEK GET OUT OF THIS SCHOOL-

OOOOHHH THAT FUCKING ALBUM- HIS “LIFE’S WORK” or whatever bullshit IS FULL OF NEIGE

...actually- my japanese is lacking- im not sure lol what is a ブロマイド??? Lol I feel like a clown.

Rook is sweating profusely LOL

...what do you have to say for yourself, monsieur rook.

Wait- huh is that-

IS HE GONNA CRY-

WHY IS EVERYONE CRYING!??!?!?!

HE’S SILENTLY CRYING AS HE INTRODUCED HIMSELF TO NEIGE WHAT. THE. FUCK IS THIS EPISODE.

Neige fanclub??? Eternal Snow??? What kind of creepy-ass- OH, HE EVEN HAS A MEMBERSHIP NUMBER TOO-

Props to Neige with his :) expression unfaltering.

I’m- I’m speechless.

Vil is just looking down at Rook in disappointment like- “you’re more pathetic than I am”

Queen just went “I think you need this handkerchief more than I do now” THAT’S RIGHT. REPENT MOTHERFUCKER.

Rook crying is cursed.

But damn, I’m kinda liking this new relationship this bitchy relationship they have

Neige just dragged everyone’s ass back on stage and his snow white energy just said “LETS ALL BE FRIENDS AND SING”

NEIGE IS FUCKING GREAT- HE REALLY DID GOT THESE BITCHES TO SING HEIGH HO LOL

ACE’S RELUCTANT SINGING AND DEUCE LOOKING LIKE HE’S HAVING FUN

KALIM IS SUCH A MOOD, SINGING EVEN WITHOUT KNOWING THE LYRICS AND JAMIL JUST HAVING THAT “i want to die” ENERGY

AIGHT. ROOK IS HAVING WAY TOO MUCH FUN AND EPEL IS TRYING HIS BEST. HE’S SO CUTE-

OMG NEIGE AND VIL HAVING SUCH GOOD HARMONY—

YAHOO Y A H O O TANOSHIINDA~~ 

YA’LL SURE ABOUT GIVING ME THIS BLESSED MOMENT??

What a somewhat happy ending, even though Rook just backstabbed us I’m crying Beauté 100 points!!!

LOL Vil realizing he’s having fun singing with Neige- “SOMEONE JUST END ME RIGHT NOW-“ The desperation in his voice-

I love how Neige’s yahoo yahoo is messing with everyone’s head, even Vil wants to pass out lol

haha Crowley is so depressed lol

WHA- WHO-

HEADMASTER OF ROYAL SWORD!?

He looks like your typical grandpa- and his outfit looks like that one mickey mouse wizard outfit but blue—

Old man just went “we won lol” just to piss Crowley off I like this guy’s energy already-

Crowley being most likely as old as this guy—

ooohh this man just sensed something in this stage- Leona did too, didn’t he???

* Damn. Crowley talking so fast sounds like he’s making a load of bullshit lol

Anyway, I’m just glad that it’s not mickey mouse who’s the headmaster— I would’ve lost my shit.

We’re back in our dorms and I forgot that the squad doesn’t live with us anymore. It’s suddenly so lonely now...

Grim is getting the yahoo yahoo ptsd too lol it’s too goddamn catchy

oooohh shiet- mickey is calling us again

YES we finally got a good picture of this motherfucker

It seems like nothing is disrupting our communication this time, so MC thought to call Grim but—

Grim is not here.

Uuhhh...Grim? Where you’ve gone??? We’re getting flashbacks of the first parts of the game.

We went out to find Grim and HE’S CHOMPING ON ANOTHER BLACK STONE ON THE STAGE-

GRIM SPIT THAT OUT YOU LOOK TERRIFYING

AAAAAHH GRIM HAS GONE FERAL— He’s attacking US

Is this because we didn’t win his tuna canss nooo

NoOO SWEET BABY COME BACK.

Legit I’m sad, please baby don’t overblot like this...

He learned a new move though- SCRATCH

Ooh— We’re seeing some Ignihyde scenes here~

P U H I H I

Idia getting a lot of emails from bigshot companies whoa—

THAT OLYMPUS—?! EXCUSE ME??? Ortho what- Are we finally getting that Hercules episode—

Damn getting a hot chance in olympus only to put them down the recycling bin oof— Idia why edit : Yume was informed that olympus is kind of a company that sponsored VDC sorry she was mind-fucked at this moment and the ability to understand proper Japanese just went whoosh lol Thanks to @starshiningsirius for pointing it out for Yume~ ♥︎ HONESTLY YUME’S JUST GONNA WAIT FOR ACTUAL PROFESSIONAL TRANSLATORS AT THIS POINT LOL Don’t trust me for important situation too much lol

Aaaahh...We’re getting this shut-in out of his room in the next episode, are we?

And that concludes the whole Pomefiore Episode! JESUS CHRIST 75 CHAPTERS ALL IN ALL!? How long is the Ignihyde chapter going to be, huh!?

This was a really, really fun episode lol I’d consider this a fan service episode actually cause of all the things we get to experience— The singing, dancing, and the new songs, THE DRAMA. (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

But then, the plot thickens, no? What’s going to happen to Grim? In the Ignihyde episode? And those reoccurring memories of us? And our relationship with Tsunotarou lol ALSO WE NEVER REALLY DID FIND OUT WHAT ROOK’S UNIQUE MAGIC IS. DISNEY EXPLAIN—

Thanks for reading this shitpost of Yume losing her shiet lol See you all in the Ignihyde Episode~ ❤

[fi0r3]

Just A Black Coffee

Warning(s) ⇾ profanity, 

Pairing ⇾ kuroo x gn!reader

Genre ⇾ fluff and some angst, college au,  mini-series

WC ⇾ 3.1k

Summary ⇾ You just got out of a toxic relationship and now you need a new place to stay. Your friend just so happens to know someone who’s looking for a roommate who can help out with the rent for the apartment.

AN: @luv4sakusa​ wanted to be included in my story so bad so I put her in 😒

j.a.b.c master list || next chapter

Ch. 1: New Encounters 

It was two in the morning, you and your boyfriend were in a heated argument. You had just caught him cheating on you, but he was trying to deny it. “Why won’t you just fucking admit it!” Your throat was hurting from screaming so much. “I saw you on the couch with her and you dare to tell me that it was nothing!” Truth be told, you had known for a while now that something was going on, but you were in denial. You didn’t want to believe that your boyfriend of five years would do something like that. Yet here you are right now, confronting him. “Omg, you’re overreacting. I was just--” you cut him off “YOU WHAT? HUH? YOU TRIPPED AND YOUR TONGUE ACCIDENTALLY SLIPPED INTO HER MOUTH?” You didn’t want to start crying, yet your body said otherwise. He stared at you in silence before you stomped off to the bedroom. 

“Y/n what are you doing?” “Isn't it obvious? I’m packing my shit and breaking up with you.” You were shoving your things into your suitcase not bothering to fold any of your clothes. He scoffs, “Really? Where are you gonna go then?” “Anywhere without you seems good.” You had no clue where to go, all you knew was that you didn’t want to be near Daisho for another second. 

You zipped up your suitcase and pushed past him. He forcefully grabbed your arm causing you to turn around. “You can’t just leave me y/n,” he says almost menacingly. “I think I fucking can when I have a pretty valid reason.” You yanked your arm away from him and walked out of the apartment leaving him alone with the girl. As soon as you were out, you felt a sense of relief, but that soon went away as you realized that those five years you spent together were nothing. And your heart starts to ache even more the further you walk away. 

_______________________________________________

You were sat on a park bench, the autumn winds nipping at your nose. You looked at your phone and the time read 2:31 am. ‘I shouldn’t have left while it was this cold’ You go to your contacts and call your best friend Abby. “Y/n?” she says in a raspy voice. “What’s wrong, why are you up right now?” You sigh before telling her everything that happened. 

“So, yea I was wondering if I could crash at your place for a bit.” “Bitch of course you can! Fuck Daisho, his bitch-ass doesn’t deserve you.” You chuckle at her string of curses. “I’ll be over soon.” “Okayyy be safe.” 

You were thankful for having a friend like Abby. You stood up from the bench and made your way over to her apartment. You needed to start finding a place for yourself soon because you didn’t want to mooch off of your friend for too long. You knew she wouldn’t mind having you stay, but you didn’t want to be too much of a burden because she lived in a pretty small space. You got on the bus that led to her address and looked up some websites for apartment listings to pass the time.

_______________________________________________

By the time you arrived at her place, it was already 3 am. You knocked on her door waiting for her to come and open it. You wait there for a few minutes before the door slowly cracks open. “Hey hun,” she says with her eyes partially open. She invites you in and leads you to the living room to set your things down. 

“You can put your suitcase over here and there are some toiletries in the closet if you need them.” “Thanks, Abby, you’re the best.” “Of course,  you know I’d do anything for you.” “Yea I know.” “So how ya holdin’ up?” You stared at her in silence for a moment trying to recollect your thoughts. You thought you had cried it all out while you sat in the park earlier, so you were surprised when you felt tears streaming down your face. 

You didn’t want to cry over this anymore, but your emotions got the better of you. You held your head in your hands and kept sobbing, unable to stop the emotions from pouring out. Abby came over to your side and hugged you. She didn’t say anything. She just let you cry it out until you were able to compose yourself. Deep down she always had a bad feeling about Daisho ever since the day you announced you two were dating. She just didn’t want to say anything because you were so happy. To her, it felt like she was overstepping her boundaries. 

“Ok, I think I’ve cried about this enough for today.” “Well shit, I thought I was gonna have to hear you cry until class started.” You chuckled. “Oh shut up.” “I think it’s time we both go to bed, otherwise we’ll pass out from sleep deprivation in class.” She gets up and brings you some pillows and blankets. She bids you goodnight before going back to her room. You were glad she went back to her room because you didn’t want her to see you crying still. You felt bad that you called her so late so you told her to go to bed. You spent that night crying until you finally fell asleep.  

_______________________________________________

You woke up at 7 am, eyes still sore from all the crying you did. You felt so drained, but you had to get up and get ready for your classes. Getting up from the couch, you fold the blankets and place them neatly to the side. You open your suitcase and take out your clothes and some toiletries before heading off to the bathroom. 

You saw your reflection in the mirror and were startled at the image before you. Eyes all red and puffy and hair all tangled and sticking up. ‘Yikes,’ you thought. You quickly detangle your hair and wait for the shower to heat up. 

When you get out, you quickly dry yourself off and change into a fresh pair of clothes. After getting dressed and drying your hair, you met Abby at the kitchen for breakfast. 

“You gonna be okay going to school?” she questions while grabbing two plates, placing one in front of you. You take a seat at the counter and fix yourself some of the food she prepared. “I’m not gonna let this whole break up ruin my studies alright. I just have to hold myself together during the day and break down when I get home,” you say with a strained smile. She rolls her eyes at your remark and takes the seat next to you.

“I swear if I see him I’m gonna--” you interrupt, “You’re going to walk away and not cause any drama.” She looks at you with an unamused face. “I’m serious, I don’t want any drama. I said what I said and I have no reason to talk to him anymore.” She turns back to her food before responding. “Okay fine.” You shake your head as you see the look of disappointment on her face. “I’ll be fine, promise.” 

You two finished up your food and grabbed your things for school. Both of you rushed to the train station so you wouldn’t be late for class. You were still in anguish over the events that happened, but you were trying your hardest to ignore those feelings so you could focus on your studies. You were anxious about running into him because you felt like you would start crying again if you did. You didn’t want to have a whole breakdown in school. 

You pushed all those thoughts in the back of your head as you reached the front of the school. “I have my club meeting after school so you’re gonna be going home by yourself.” “That’s fine I have my part-time job today.” You bid your goodbyes as the both of you head to your respective classes. 

_______________________________________________

You head to the back of the classroom and take a seat. You didn’t feel like socializing with anyone at the moment. Mainly because you didn’t want anyone to notice how red your eyes were. You had tried to cover it up as best as you could but to no avail. You decided to look for more apartment listings as you wait for the professor to come to class. All the ones you found were either too expensive or looked like they would fall apart the second you walked in. Finally, the professor walks in and begins the class. 

You barely paid attention during the lecture. You were so tired from basically having zero hours of sleep and stressing out over how you were going to find a place to live. You weren’t that close with anyone in your class so you couldn’t even ask them for help. You had zoned out for the majority of the class.  The only thing that you obtained from the lecture was that you had a research paper due in the two weeks that was worth 25% of your grade. 

You feel a buzz from your phone and you look down to see what it was. 

*Message from Abby*

Abby: “Hey y/n, I just wanted to let you know my boyfriend is coming over later to hang, but don’t worry we won’t make you a third wheel :)”

Y/n: “If I walk in on both you being whores, I’ll kick you out of your apartment--”

Abby: “Whatever”

You turn your phone off and try to pay attention to the last ten minutes of the lecture. 

_______________________________________________

School was finally over and you quickly met with Abby to tell her that you might be coming home late because you had to cover for your coworker. “Okay, just remember to be safe, you never know what sketchy ass guy is gonna be around.” “Don’t worry I know how to take care of myself. I didn’t take those self-defense classes for no reason.”  She waves goodbye as she heads over to meet with her club. 

You walked over to the convenience store where you worked that was only a couple of blocks away from your school. You liked taking the night shifts because it was usually the least busy and it meant you could do some homework. That being said, you also had your fair share of creeps and drunks. You had bought pepper spray just in case anything happens. Though you hoped that you wouldn’t have to use it. 

When you arrived, the worker there got up to leave so you could take over. You didn’t have much to do. Your main tasks consisted of restocking shelves, mopping the floors, and managing the register. When it was just you in the store it kind of felt peaceful. Sometimes you’d just observe the people who walk by and other times you’d be lost in thought. However this time, you wanted to be away from your thoughts. You tried to put on some music to drown out your thoughts. For a while, it was working until you saw your ex walking hand in hand with the girl he cheated on you with. You were enraged at the sight. How could he move on so easily, while you were still stuck on it? Were you overreacting? Were you the only one who cared about the relationship? All these negative thoughts started to flood in. You were brought back to reality when you heard the bell from the door ring, signaling that a customer was there. You quickly brush off those thoughts and greet the customer. The last hour and a half went into cleaning the floors and doing a little bit of homework.  

By the time you finished your shift, the sun had completely disappeared. Although you were confident in your self-defense skills, you would still be nervous about walking home alone. You made sure that you had your pepper spray with you before locking up. You quickly shoot Abby a text saying that you were done with work and were on your way to the apartment. 

_______________________________________________

 Upon your arrival home, you were greeted by a very loud and energetic guy, who you assumed to be Abby’s boyfriend. You were caught off guard by his liveliness, especially since it was pretty late. “Y/n, this is Bokuto, my boyfriend.” “Bo, this my friend that I was talking to you about.” You exchanged hellos before you went to the bathroom to freshen up. 

“Y/n I just solved all your problems,” your best friend announces to you as you exit the bathroom. “Uh how exactly?” you question with one eyebrow raised. “Bo, tell her” she nudges her boyfriend. You sat down next to them on the couch waiting for his response. “So, Abby told me how you’re looking for a place and I happen to know someone who’s looking for a roommate to share the rent.” Your eyes lit up immediately. “Omg really?!” you ask in excitement. “Yup, I can--” you interrupt “I’ll take it.” Both of them were startled by your immediate acceptance. 

“Damn y/n, you hate me that much.” You roll your eyes at her remark. “You know that’s not the reason why I wanna leave.” You turn back to Bokuto to ask who this person is just to make sure it wasn’t some sketchy weirdo. “He’s a friend of mine from high school, he goes to the same college as us. He’s a marketing major.” “Okay, he seems fine.” “Yea, I’ll tell him that you’re interested, and I can set up a time for you guys to get acquainted.” You were kind of excited to meet your potential new roommate. You just hoped that he wasn’t going to be an asshole like your ex. “Thanks so much, Bokuto.” “No problem y/n” he flashes a friendly smile. 

After a few hours of hanging out with each other, Bokuto had to go. Before leaving he gave you the address of the apartment, Kuroo’s contact information, and his own. He said he would tell you when Kuroo would be able to meet with you. “Aren’t you glad to have such an amazing friend like me?” she asks smugly. “Uhh if I’m not mistaken it was Bokuto who knows Kuroo not you.” you tease. “Okay, but who was the one who introduced you to him? Me exactly.” The both of you started laughing. “Ok, but seriously thank you for doing this. I’ll treat you to ramen sometime.” “You better.” 

_______________________________________________

A week has passed since that day, and Bokuto finally texted you saying that Kuroo was able to meet. You were waiting in anticipation. You were hoping that he didn’t already find someone else during that week of waiting. A wave of relief washed over you when you received Bokuto’s message with the details for the meeting. “So when are you seeing him?” she asks from the kitchen. “Today at 4.” You had about an hour to get ready. “Are you nervous?” “Yes and no,” you respond. “I just hope he doesn’t reject me,” you say while trying to pick out an outfit. “Bo said that he’d be fine with anyone as long as they’re able to pay the other half.” “Do you know anything about him?” you inquire hoping to get a little more information before meeting him. “The only thing Bo has told me is that they’ve known each other since high school and were rival teams for volleyball. Other than that, I’m as clueless as you.” You give her a slight nod. 

You finally picked out your outfit and went to go change. “Does this look okay?” She turns around to see what you had on. “Yea you look great.” You go back into the bathroom to look at yourself in the mirror one more time. “ARE YOU SURE?” you yell. “YES STOP WORRYING, YOU LOOK FINE!” she yells back. You leave the bathroom to grab your bag and head to the cafe. “Wish me luck,” you sigh. “Relax, it’s not a life or death situation,” she jokes. You wave goodbye and head over to the cafe, hoping that you wouldn’t arrive late.

_______________________________________________

You walk into the cafe scanning the area to see if he was there. You didn’t even know what he looked like so there was no point in trying to look. You feel a buzz from your pocket. You take your phone out to see a message from Kuroo.

Kuroo Tetsurō: “By the window.”

You look up to see a guy with spiky hair sitting by the window looking at you. You could feel his gaze piercing through you. Your heart started to race. You walked over hoping he wouldn’t notice how nervous you were. “Hey gorgeous,” he says with a smirk. “What’s your name?” His forwardness caught you off guard. “Uh I’m y/n,” you say as you took the seat across from him. “Can I get you something to drink?” he asks. “A black coffee is fine.” He gets up to order the drinks. As he gets up, you catch yourself admiring his looks but you quickly brush it off, especially when he’s going to be your future roommate. Besides you just got out of a relationship. Just as you brushed it off, he comes back with the drinks. 

“So why do you wanna be my roommate?” he asks you and you reply with “I just really need a place to live right now, I promise I’ll be a good roommate, and make sure to give the payments on time.” “Whoa whoa whoa there, I just asked for a reason not a whole life story,” he says in a teasing manner. You sit there, cheeks flushed with embarrassment. “Sorry didn’t mean to embarrass you, sweetheart.” Little did he know that it made you feel even more flustered. “Uhmm it’s fine,” you reply. Trying to ease the conversation from what just happened, you say in a cocky manner, “So do you want me or not?” Causing a chuckle to escape his lips. 

“This is going to be interesting.”

[bettsfic]

hi betts! i got very interested in your posts esp the implied author. i wanna ask a question (if you dont mind!). so about the implied author, i always feel like that my writings though beautiful always lack mentioned maturity and read very... YA-ish? its not something im trying to achieve. i want to make it more mature and 'classical'. do you have a tips for this? im not aware enough of what to improve on to achieve that, basically. thank you in advance!

this is a great question! unfortunately, though, i don't have a handy dandy term like "implied author" to thoroughly encapsulate my possibly abstract answer.

first, while i understand your goals, i think beautiful prose, and the focus thereof, is still a very important pursuit. there's also nothing wrong with being YA-ish; the implied author comes from a book called the rhetoric of fiction, and the title implies that it's a study of fiction in interaction with an audience. so different readers get different things out of what they read (i wrote about this more in my june newsletter). possibly your perspective is something someone else hasn't seen before, and you've offered them something new without even knowing.

that said, i absolutely understand the drive to have a wider perspective, and write things that you find more complicated and challenging. however, the only way i can answer this is with metaphors couched in narrative, of how i learned about how to approach my writing differently, and which presumably, maybe widened a reader's sense of my implied author (but since i can't be a reader of my own work, there's no way to tell for sure).

so, i once took a creative nonfiction seminar during which i read a whole bunch of memoirs, and the final project was either a research paper or a personal essay. obviously i chose the personal essay. i decided to write about my ex-boyfriend, with whom i'd broken up five years earlier, and i was still very fucked up about it even though we'd been broken up far longer than we were together.

looking back on that essay, it reads like a sales pitch, ten pages of me just pleading with the reader to see my side of the situation, to see how i was the victim, sympathize with me and not him. he's the evil one. hate him with me. please please please.

it was not a good look.

there was a lot of unprocessed grief in that essay, a lot of anger. it was clear i had no wider perspective of the situation other than wallowing in my own narrow feelings about it. i was telling the reader what to think about me, about him, about the situation, rather than conveying the situation as it truly was and allowing them to draw their own conclusions.

in nonfiction, that's terrifying, because it potentially paints me in a negative light. a reader may see my actions and think poorly of me. and honestly, looking back, they should. i was as toxic to my ex as he was to me. i was not good to him at all.

but see, that's an example of me telling you what to think. in the essay, i am pretty much saying outright, "he is evil. hate him." i want to force the reader to be on my side. but after a mental breakdown and a lot of trauma therapy, i was able to step out of the situation and my feelings thereof, and see it from a much wider perspective, and instead of putting my actual emotions on the page, i'm able to illustrate honestly the emotions i felt at the time. i am no longer in the story. i'm outside of it.

here are the events as they actually happened: one night, he didn't come home. i texted him. i tried to call him. i waited a couple more hours and called him again. he came home as i was looking up numbers to nearby hospitals, around four a.m. he wouldn't tell me where he'd been. the next day i found a bunch of hickeys on his neck. i was hurt, and angry, and i pushed him. i told him to get out of my house. he still denied it, and kept denying it for hours longer, until finally admitting he'd been dating someone else for months. i couldn't find it in myself to blame him. to me, it was my fault for not being good enough for him, for not fitting into the shape of someone he could love.

there was more to the story than that; he was financially dependent on me, he was no longer attracted to me and felt trapped in our relationship, my father had just died and i couldn't even begin to grieve over the loss of someone whose life mine revolved around.

but an essay -- or a short story, a novel, a poem -- can't ever render reality exactly as it is. we as writers are always just curators of experiences, images, sentences. there's a lot of fear in that, of leaving out details, of being misunderstood. but that's the inherent risk of art.

the lesson i brought back to fiction is this:

it's not my job as a writer to place judgment on my characters, but to simply convey the story as it happens. my characters may have biases, misperceptions, judgments, and opinions, but they are not mine. widening the implied author, so to speak, is a process of removing yourself from your prose.

obviously you will make characters who are like you in some ways, and so they may share traits with you. they may be identical to you in every way. but they are not you, and cannot be you. possibly the implied author is the absence of ego. or maybe it's an embrace of the self and the world as things that can't be fully known.

i think about films that have a wide implied author versus a narrow one (in my opinion; see above point about fiction as rhetoric). to me, pacific rim has a very wide implied author. even though all the characters in the movie take the events therein very seriously, i know that the mind creating this story knows it's kind of ridiculous, even though it's not a comedy. they know this wild, over-the-top conceit is a vehicle for the more complicated and nuanced experience of intimacy and trust.

a narrow implied author would be zack snyder's justice league. that film leaves me with no evidence that the mind behind it is capable of truly understanding experiences beyond their own, or using their medium to render a nuanced portrayal of being. that doesn't mean snyder isn't, in reality, capable of those things, or that the movie isn't enjoyable on an aesthetic level, but that i found no evidence in the text of, well, themes. it's just...characters doing things. i see no exploration in it, no question that the narrative addresses.

which leads me to my second point, which is that i think the widest implied authors are the ones who are vulnerable enough not to have an answer or conclusion, to simply discover and explore larger questions.

so, what questions do you have? what things do you not know? what are you most afraid to convey or admit?

in some ways, my answer to your question is that you don't have to worry about it, because the implied author is the experience of the reader, which you can't control. however, i think all of us, myself included, can work toward a greater perspective of ourselves and our world, to understand things to a more complex degree. and beautifully, writing helps us do that, at the risk of exposing the things we don't know, the questions we can't answer, our true colors which may be darker and uglier than we'd like to admit.

[spencersstrawberryjello]

Forehead Kisses (Spencer Reid x nb!MC)

Summary: Caelan has to deal with the emotional aftermath of a case gone wrong, and Spencer comforts them when they have a breakdown.

Content: Hurt/Comfort

Warnings: Minor descriptions of violence in relation to the case they were on, mild panic attack (after a nightmare)

MC’s name and pronouns: Caelan (kay-len), they/them

Word Count: 1951

A/N: This was written at the request of a friend of mine, so that’s why it’s a bit more specific in terms of character traits/description.

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“Hey.” Spencer came to sit in front of me, elbows on his knees as he leaned forward and lightly put his hand under my chin, guiding me to meet his eyes. “You ok?”

“What do you think?” I snapped. He flinched a bit, and I felt immediate guilt flare up in my chest. “I’m sorry. I can’t… I just don’t want to think about it right now.”

“I understand,” He said softly, “Seeing this kind of stuff - it’s hard, even after years.”

I just nodded, trying to force the thoughts of the case out of my mind by staring at the floor, allowing myself to zone out. Spencer’s touch brought me back to reality, squeezing into the airplane seat next to me and wrapping his arms around me. I shifted a bit so that my head was buried in his shirt, letting him hold me as I tried to avoid thinking about the horror I’d just witnessed. I heard footsteps come from near the cabin, pausing near us just as Spencer spoke to someone nearby. 

“Case was hard for them. They’re not really answering me about anything.” I assumed he thought I was asleep as he spoke to whoever was standing next to our seat. 

“Are they going to be ok?” It was Hotch. 

“They’re strong, at the very least. I think they just need to go home, clear their head. I’m going to try to stay with them tonight, just to make sure they get to sleep alright.”

“Good,” He said it in the definitive “Hotch” way, like they were just discussing a case. It almost made me laugh, but I stopped myself before I gave away that I was awake. 

I felt Spencer nod and heard Hotch’s footsteps retreat before Spencer leaned a bit closer to my ear. 

“I know you’re awake, Cae.”

“Dammit,” I muttered in response, and he laughed softly.

“You're dating a genius, remember? I could tell based on your breathing that you were awake, dork.”

“Excuse me, I don’t think you can call me a dork when you’re the one who knows Star Trek front to back!”

“In my defense, I know everything front to back.”

“Oh shut up,” I lightly hit his arm, and he laughed again. 

“You’re ok with me coming home with you tonight, right?” He clarified. I grinned, my face still hidden against his sweater. 

“Dr. Reid! Being a bit bold, aren’t we?” I teased. I didn’t need to see him to know he was blushing. I guess knowing I was asexual still didn’t keep him from getting all flustered at the mention of anything remotely sexual; it was sort of adorable.

“I - I mean no I know that you don’t like that stuff, I would never try to -”

“Babe. Relax. I was only teasing. Of course I’m ok with you coming home with me.” I leaned my head back to look up at his face, “I’d really appreciate it, actually.”

“Ok. Good.” He sounded relieved, relaxing a bit in the leather chair as he held me a bit tighter. We spent the rest of the plane ride in silence. I’d felt a bit better joking with him, but the minute I allowed my mind to wander again, the gore I saw earlier flashed through my mind. I buried my head further into Spencer’s chest, trying desperately to block out the rampaging thoughts, and he picked up on it, pulling me closer to him and whispering again. 

“Hey. It’s ok. You’re safe with me, babe.”

I nodded against him. “I just want to get home.”

“Tired?”

“Exhausted. But I’m worried I won’t be able to sleep.”

“It wouldn’t be surprising if you had trouble with sleeping after what we all saw today, I mean -”

“Yeah. I know.”

He lightly rubbed my back in comfort, placing a soft kiss on the top of my head as we felt the plane start to descend. 

“Baby. We’ve gotta go,” Spencer prompted as the plane bumped to a landing. I groaned, reluctantly getting up and grabbing my backpack while he grabbed his bag from the chair in front of us. He slung it across his chest, and I grinned. 

“I love that little satchel.”

“I know, right? It’s really effective -”

“It’s adorable.”

“It’s a bag.”

“You make it adorable.”

He laughed at that, though I saw a blush coloring his cheeks. We got off the jet, heading back into the office. 

“Reid,” Rossi called Spencer from across the room, making both of us stop and turn in his direction. Rossi jogged over to meet us, lowering his voice to ensure the rest of the team wouldn’t hear. 

“I’m going to give them some paperwork to fill out, just to debrief. I trust that you two can get caught up tomorrow? Hotch told me that they were… not doing great.” 

“You can talk about me like I’m here, Rossi,” I half-joked. I’d quickly realized joking about it was the best way to keep my mind distracted.

“Sorry. Just wanted to be clear.”

“Yeah, we can catch up tomorrow morning. I’d rather just get home,” Spencer answered. Rossi nodded resolutely.

“Sounds good. I expect it. Caelan… you did good today. Really good.”

I offered him a half smile - a habit I’d surely picked up from Spencer - and we made our way out of the office, Spencer guiding me to his car and letting me get in the passenger seat. 

We drove back to my apartment with only the sound of music playing softly through the car radio. At some point, Spencer reached over and took my hand, holding it gently and giving it a light squeeze as he drove us to my house, parking and letting himself in before leading me through the hall and into my bedroom. 

“Wait wait wait,” I stopped him, turning back towards the door. He let me go as I went back to the front door of my apartment, double and triple checking that the door was locked and the alarms were set. 

There’s only so long you can go in this profession without becoming at least a little bit paranoid.

“Ok. Ok, I’m good,” I said, returning to the end of the hall. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. I get it, babe,” He put his arm around my shoulders, walking with me to the bedroom. “Do you want to change?”

I nodded, and he opened my dresser, pulling out a pair of soft pajama shorts and an oversized sweater, one of his own that he’d given me after we first started dating. He unbuttoned the button-up shirt I’d been wearing, shrugging it off my shoulders and slipping the sweater over my chest, leaving a soft kiss right on the base of my neck as he did so. 

“Can you stand up for me honey?” 

His voice sounded soft, and I was already starting to let my mind wander again. I knew he could tell; he wasn’t trying to make any kind of further conversation, just letting me process the events of the day in whatever way I could. 

Spoiler alert: it was not going well. 

I stood up off the bed, letting Spencer help me undress the rest of the way and change into shorts. Once I had, I finally climbed into bed, allowing the warm comforter to envelop me as Spencer quickly slipped off his shirt and dress pants, grabbing the light brown sweatshirt and grey sweats he’d left here and climbing into bed next to me.

“Are you ok with me holding you?”

I nodded again, and I felt him immediately wrap his arms around me, pulling me close to him. I could feel his chest rising and falling against my back, and one of his hands ran lightly through my cropped hair as he pressed another light kiss on my jaw. He peppered my upper body with soft kisses, continuing to run his hand through my hair, and I felt my eyes starting to get heavy. I blessed him for giving me something to think about besides today’s case, and I kept my conscious thoughts focused on him as the gentle touches quickly lulled me off to sleep.

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You know, it’s really not fun to wake up screaming. 

“Please. Please stop just put the gun down please -”

“Caelan! Baby - Caelan wake up!”

Spencer’s voice jolted me out of my sleep, but it wasn’t much relief. I woke up in a cold sweat, immediately feeling a familiar nausea gnawing at my stomach. I wasn’t sure if I was going to cry or throw up, I was still trying to comprehend what was real and what was solely from my nightmare. 

The only problem was that the nightmare was spawned from reality. 

“Hey,” I heard Spencer talk, but it was distant as I tried to bring myself back to reality. “Baby, look at me.”

I turned to face him, and he gently placed his hands on my arms to stop my body from shaking, trying to ground me. He reached one hand up, brushing away tears I hadn’t even realized I was crying, whispering soft reassurances to me as I got my bearings. 

“Caelan, you’re at your apartment. You’re safe - I’m here. You’re safe with me.”

I nodded, slowly processing his words as I blinked in the dim lighting. I knew Spencer didn’t like the dark, so the bathroom light had been left on with the door cracked, providing just enough light that I could see his face as he held my arms still in his grasp. 

“You had a nightmare. Based on what you were shouting before you woke up, I’m assuming that you were relieving what happened in the field today. It’s not surprising, I mean, the same thing happened to me; usually it helps if you just -”

He went on another one of his tangents, his voice helping to calm me down as I sucked in deep breaths, bringing my heart rate back down to normal. The panic had mostly subsided, being followed quickly by a crushing wave of grief. 

“Spencer…” His name was all that I could say as I practically fell into him, prompting him to move his hands to hold me in a tight embrace, knowing I was less erratic now. I clung to his shirt, letting all of the emotions I’d been struggling to process go as he held me steady.

“It’s ok,” He whispered as I sobbed in his arms. “You’re ok. I’ve got you.”

“I should’ve stopped him, Spencer - I could’ve stopped him! Before he - he -”

“I know babe,” He held me a bit tighter, “But you can’t blame yourself for what happened to that girl.”

“She was innocent! And I just stood there and watched her die!”

“Caelan, there was nothing you could’ve done that would’ve stopped him. He was a devolving iradomaniac, he would’ve shot her no matter what you said.”

“I could’ve knocked the gun out of his hand! Or shot him! Or -”

“Honey, listen,” He pulled back from the hug, cupping my face with his hands, “You cannot do that to yourself. You’re going to make yourself crazy if you go down that spiral. This was not your fault, understand?”

I sniffled, nodding as he pulled me close to his chest again, letting me bury my face in his sweatshirt. Even after being at my house, the smell of his cologne still permeated his clothes, and it made my heart swell. 

“I love you so much baby, you know that?” He pressed a soft kiss to the top of my head. 

“I love you too.”

He wiped the tears from my ears, and we sat together, holding each other close as the sun came up on a new day. 

[ponds-of-ink]

Personal Security Breach Predictions Before I Forget to Post Them

I am preparing myself to be entirely wrong, but here we go. Spoilers in advance if anything’s correct.

Mechanics

*The “hiding Glamrock Freddy chest” idea looks like it’s confirmed but idk.

*We may or may not have customization options via shops.

*Hiding in general seems like a good idea, but what if there’s puzzles to solve?

*..We’re going to play in that Golf Course, aren’t we?

*Oh, and there may or may not be hidden VHS tapes tying up loose ends with Fnaf 4 or anything else that was unexplained. Getting these might give a different “true“ ending, but we’ll see.

Main Story

*Gregory didn’t break in or anything. He literally was just having the time of his life at a friend’s birthday (or his own) when Vanny showed up. All of his friends are doomed and he’s the only one left.

*Vanny talks to Glitch occasionally and we’ll see that in a cutscene or two.

*Vanny was the night guard but got hijacked/ordered to do stuff pre-night shift. Then’s who‘s the night guard in the game…?

*In a stunning turn of events, the plot twist is that (if the books are anything to go by) Elizabeth escaped the pizzeria fire and hid out until it was time. She took Vanny’s identity and changed forms thanks to a new illusion disk. This explains why the female voice sounds like Circus Baby more than Vanny. We’ll be able to tell due to the eye color or something when Vanny takes her mask off.

*More chaos ensues as the night wears on. Greg explores more of the place, the mall gets more disarrayed, the animatronics get hacked one by one. All leading up to..

*The final boss fight. Turns out Vanny’s been helping Glitch with remnant or some weird stuff to bring William back from UCN thanks to this huge trash rabbit thing. This can go two ways:

(1) Glitch is not William, but has been using his (W’s) remnant and attitude to get enough strength to last this long outside of the VR game. Backstabbing ensues due to not needing Will anymore or some last minute nonsense.

(2) Glitch is Will and that weird data transfer caused Will to be imported rather than mysteriously copied and split. Will finally sees what’s going on outside of Vanny’s head and mistakes Greg for the Bite Kid/“Evan”. Gradual emotional breakdown ensues, but he still keeps going in delusional denial until the final blow.

*I mention this because of one Tumblr user noting that each William return has had a “Adaption, Arrogance, Despair” cycle to it. Glitchtrap clearly hasn’t had any despair, so I’m wondering if this is setting up for a Jekyll and Hyde twist later.

*Alternatively: Elizabeth does her own backstabbing and becomes the final boss. This is due to how Fazbear Frights is currently going, but don’t hold your breath until something gets hinted in-game.

*Either way, the bottom part of the Pizzaplex is on fire. Again. At least it’s not the whole building this time?

*Also, because of Glitch’s influence, Vanny’s the new Five Nights villain from here on out. She’s too far gone. Either that, or she’s freed but gets arrested.

*The game ends with Greg finally getting out of the mall and heading home. No doubt he’s going to need therapy or a doctor’s visit after this.

Extras

*Spring-Bonnie and Fredbear voice reveals thanks to said VHS tapes. *We finally get to see some animatronics perform. Glams or not.

*If FNAF AR has anything to do with the story, I’m going to have to adjust my one fanfic accordingly.

*Secret throwback mode in the security office? Maybe?

*If the theory of Michael secretly being Glamrock Freddy is true then this is going to be an insane family reunion.

*PJ Heywood’s going to use a lot more vocal range if he’s not just Glitchtrap. If it turns out he provides the emotional breakdown I predicted then ohhh boy that’s gonna be new.

*Henry’s little labyrinth idea wasn’t in vain after all. That’s literally how the Pizzaplex is. Except whoever designed this place didn’t have that in mind.