#and then my vision gets so weird
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caffeinatedopossum · 2 years ago
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Suddenly realizing I've had seizures before :0 but this was just the first one where someone who knew what it was was there to witness it (my girlfriend)
That's so cool and definitely not terrifying /s
#for context i dont spasm uncontrollably like people imagine seizures#i think from the outside it probably just looks like im having a bunch of tics and staring intently and being unresponsive#but then afterwards i end up being really confused and disoriented and forgetful#so its been very easy to forget about the seizures i had in the past because i didnt remember them#until just recently when i was like 'huh that felt familiar-'#from my perspective though its like uh idk its really weird#its a bit different every time but just in general#i tend to be unresponsive even if i can tell whats happening around me#i cant talk or control what my body is doing but i know what part is moving (usually jerkinv my head or arms)#my muscles feel either really rigid or really lax#and then my vision gets so weird#everything is sparkly like colorful static and the edges of my vision gets really dark#and there's intermittent flashes of lights or floating shadows#it feels like im extremely focused and very spaced out at the same time#i keep describing it like my brain is smashing all the buttons at once cause thats what it feels like#its also kinda similar to the feeling of being electrocuted? but i dont think many of you will know what that feels like#hopefully you wont at least#i just happen to#its like a weird buzzing just under your skin that doesnt exactly hurt but doesnt exactly not hurt either#it would be like the pain of a constantly tightened muscle- not painful at first but like strenuous to endure ?#and thdn painful if it stays like that or gets worse#i feel like im not allowed to say i had a seizure because i cant go to doctors about it so i cant get diagnosed >_<#but the thing is not bei g diagnosed isnt gonna stop me from having them#yay denial /j#im hoping theyre just dissociative seizures because god i cannot deal with epilepsy on top of everything else rn#and also because i cant see doctors right now sooo#god im exhausted and scared but i feel like those words dont even measure up to how im doing right now#i dont know. im just enduring#thats all i can really do i think#but i hope i dont have to much longer...
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inkskinned · 6 months ago
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the thing about some men is that they want you to remember, at all times, that you are underneath them. that with one word or look or "joke", you will stay beneath them. that even "exceptions" to the rule are not true exceptions - the commonly cited statistic that one in eight men believe they could win against serena williams.
women's gymnastics is often not seen as real gymnastics. whatever the fuck non-euclidian horrors rhythmic gymnasts are capable of, it's often tamped down as being not a sport. some of the most dominant athletes in the world are women. nobody watches women's soccer. despite years of dancing and being built like a fucking brick, men always assume they're faster and stronger than i am. you wouldn't like what happens when they are incorrect. once while drunk at a guy's house i won a held-plank challenge by a solid minute. the party was over after that - he became exceedingly violent.
what i mean is that you can be perfect, and they still think you're ... lacking, somehow. i hope you understand i'm trying to express a neutral statement when i say: taylor swift was the possibly the most patriarchy-palatable, straight-down-the-line woman we could churn out. she is white, conventionally attractive, usually pretty mild in personality. say what you will about her (and you should, she's a billionaire, she can handle it), but a few things seem to be true about her: 1. she can write a damn catchy song, and 2. the eras tour truly was a massive commercial success and was also genuinely an impressive feat of human athleticism and performance.
i don't know if she deserves the title of "woman of the year," i'm not debating that in this post. what i am saying is that she was named Woman of The Year, and then an untalented man got onstage at the golden globes and made fun of her for attending her boyfriend's football games. what i am saying is that this woman altered local economies - and her dating life is still being made into a "harmless" punchline. the camera panned, greedy, over to her downing a full glass of champagne. congratulations taylor! you are woman of the year! but you are a woman. even her.
fuck, man. write better material.
a guy gets onstage at a college graduation and despite the fact like half the crowd is made up of women, he spends a significant proportion of it warning these people - who spent possibly hundreds of thousands of dollars on their education - that they were lied to. that the "real" meaning of femininity is motherhood. that they shouldn't rest on the laurels of that education-they-paid-for but instead throw it away to kneel at a man's heel. imagine that. sweating in your godawful polyester gown (that you also had to pay for!), fresh out of 4 years of pushing yourself ever-harder: and some guy you've never met - who knows nothing about you - he reminds you this "win" is a pyrrhic one at best. you really shouldn't consider yourself that extraordinary. you're still a woman, even after years of study.
god forbid you are not a pretty woman, but if you are pretty, you must be dumb. god forbid you are not ablebodied or white or cis or straight or good at swallowing. you must be beneath a man, or else they are not a man. the equation for masculinity seems to just be: that which is not a woman or womanly (god forbid). anything "feminine" is thereby anathema. to engage in "feminine" things such as therapy, getting a hug from a friend, or crying - it is giving up ones manhood. therefore women need to be put in their place to ensure that masculinity is protected.
this is something i have struggled to explain to terfs - they are not doing the work of feminism, but rather the patriarchy. by asserting that women and men must be (on some secret level) oppositional and in conflict, they also assume that being a woman is akin to being another species. but bigotry does not stem from observational truths or clarity - that is what makes it bigotry. there was nothing in my childhood that made me fundamentally different from my brother. we are treated differently nonetheless. to assert there is some biological drive that enforces my gender role is to assert that women have a gendered role. men do not see women as equal to them not because of biological reality - but instead because the core tenant of the patriarchy is that women aren't full, realized people.
we are told from a very young age to excuse misbehavior as a single man's choice - not all men. it is not all men, just that one guy. all women are gold-digging bitches who belong in the kitchen - but if a man is mean, bigoted, or violent to you, it's just that particular guy, and that means nothing about men-as-a-whole. it is only one guy who got mad when you gently rejected him. it is only one guy who warns her this trophy is heavy, are you sure you can hold it? it is only one guy who smashes her face into the cake. it is only one guy talking into a mic about hating our bodily autonomy.
i have just found that they often wait until the moment we actually seem to be upstaging them. you sit in a meeting where you're presenting your own findings and he says get me a coffee? or you run to the end of the marathon and are about to finish first and he pushes your kids out in front of you. you win the chess game and they make some comment akin to well, you're ugly away. we can be the billionaire and get the dream life and finally fucking do it and yet! still! they have this strange, visceral urge to say well actually, if you think you're so great -
it's not one just one guy. it's one in eight.
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chaos-bringer-13 · 9 months ago
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I've seen a lot of people writing Danny as a space ancient and Dan and Dani as ghosts with moon and sun cores, being sort of parts, versions of Danny and therefore weaker. Now, consider: Dan and Dani are both powerful ghosts with really cool cores and stuff but Danny is just some guy™
Dan, who came from an alternate timeline and is kind of from the future but also not, is Clockwork's apprentice and will eventually become an ancient of time. He probably only agreed to have some lessons with Clockwork to understand better what happened to him, but he enjoys his apprenticeship now.
Dani, with her love of travelling, loves seeing all the different places the world offers to her, and that includes space and different planets and maybe even parallel universes, and she accidentally ends up being an apprentice of the space ancient. For now she's probably a baby ancient of freedom or something like that, but she might become an ancient of space in the future.
We can also have something like Dan having a core of destruction or Dani being the Speed Force if you want it to be dcxdp, or any headcanon of yours about their cool powers.
And then there's Danny. And yeah, everyone knows that he's super powerful, but also he's just some guy.
It can go different routes. Does everyone know that Danny is just Danny? Or do they think that with siblings (well, technically a clone and an alternate version, but whatever) so powerful, he must be even stronger? Is Danny actually something terrifyingly eldritch and ancient and strong, almost a god, but he just doesn't know himself? Or is he just really some guy?
Now, because it's obvious that I have a dcxdp brainrot, have a regular "JL summons/meets a powerful ghost" but its Dan and Dani, and they keep mentioning their original/brother who won a fight against them at some point. The JL is very concerned about Dan and Dani's godlike powers, and they can't imagine what Danny is like. And then they meet him (in his human form), and it's just a young adult in casual clothes, very friendly and helpful, with no evident powers. Imagine the confusion. Imagine Dan and Dani, radiating power, in their eldritch ghost forms, admitting that fighting Danny for real is the dumbest thing to do and not even they would succeed... And then there's Danny is jeans and silly t-shirt, waving shyly.
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merricatblckwood · 3 months ago
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Interview with the vampire season 2 episode 8 The queen of the damned by Anne Rice - The devil's minion chapter Special effects by Larry Cohen
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corsairspade · 4 months ago
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Celegorm but everything about him is 10x funnier because he's a chronic ainur fucker and just doesn't tell anyone about it. He looks inwards and decides marriage is between elves so deciding to roll around with maiar of the hunt is absolutely valid and not marriage. Who's ever heard of an elf marrying a Maia?
Elven polyamory may be illegal but it doesn't count if he's just ferrying kisses between Oromë and Vána- they're not elves. No, it's not hypocritical, what are you talking about. Just don't tell his father. What? No, not because of the whole polyamory thing, Feanor's just got a thing about Valar. Yes Celegorm is sure that's the only reason he doesn't want to tell his dad.
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littlefankingdom · 6 months ago
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Simple observation I made from reading these comics. DC, stop making their dad an asshole and make him hug them more.
Also, the hugs in these comics:
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Tim's hug is not in Red Robin but it's during the run and when Bruce comes back in time.
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Cass' hug is weird because they're suicidal freaks who think fighting is therapy. They fought while being drugged, and blew up a brigde. It makes sense for them only.
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Jason's first hug (Outlaws) is after he tries to apologize for his crimes and Bruce refuses to let him to do it, because his boy is innocent for him 🥺 (and then, they fucked it up with Ethiopia because they cannot let them have nice things 🙄). The second one (Red Hood & Arsenal) is started by Jason, who is just very happy to see that Bruce is alive, even if he has lost his memory.
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crystallizsch · 1 month ago
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the character inspo posts had me thinking about yuuna during twst and pre-twst (in their original world specifically) so uh here's a comparison:
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tippenfunkaport · 4 months ago
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Happy Birthday, Bow!
Catra and Adora surprised him with a pooka plushie so he wouldn't be tempted to go to Beast Island and hug a real one.
(for @glimbowweek prompt Surprise!)
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linkedin-offficial · 1 year ago
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is this anything . sky:cotl au
details (aka my rambling) under the cut
mostly set upon the whole idea that caine came from eden and tries to help everyone gain their wings (albeit doing a terrible job the entire time)
bubble keeps the name bubble!
they r a mantatee :3 suprisingly chaotic for a light creature and sort of has the "eat light and puff out candles" personality that caine should have but doesn't
i contemplated caine being called "the creature" just for shits and giggles (and eventually went with it) since im absolutely certain everyone who ever meets him ever would be terrified for a little bit until they realize hes sentient; he doesn't understand that the name is supposed to be sort of derogatory
caine is the only one with wings because hes the only one who can canonically fly/float!
(and yes his head is supposed to be a dark plant . i like to think im big brain for this)
the reason why his dark plant head is tinted red btw . my thought process was basically "ah yes. red = good bcus eden :]" even though thats convoluted since everyone hates eden but that makes it better in a way. i think
zooble > mismatched worksmith
"bows" given to them by ragatha as an identifier; not like theyd need one though ..
constantly making their own prosthetics due to growing boredom with their previous ones (autism™) and also carved the designs into their mask themself
kinger > reluctant royalty
same old kinger as usual .. when asked what he rules he doesnt particularly remember nor have an answer so hes usually treated with respect out of pity for being old and senile
second tallest behind jax , also the oldest (if you dont count caine i guess? whos sort of. ageless)
ragatha > plush friendfinder
matching bow with jax :3 sibling moment! (yes i like the ragatha + jax sibling dynamic . its amazing to me)
right eye does not glow and actually looks like a hollow hole if you get close enough to her face! also clothing making buddies with zooble :] she taught them how to sew without pricking themself
gangle > wrapped up theatre-goer (i had such a hard time thinking of a name .. and to be honest?? im not solid on this but WHAGEVER.)
shortest. obviously
likes to write plays in her spare time and reads them to zooble while they work
clothes are sectioned and Very flowy, and has a few (cracked and broken) masks she likes to use for play improv (and also uses for herself sometimes if she has a hard time expressing a certain emotion)
jax > towering tease (it sounds stupid but THIS is so fucking funny.i cannot resist this)
tallest OBVIOUSLY. like stupidly tall . has its advantages and disadvantages (like being able to steal things from gangle with no consequences . on the other hand. doorframes)
him being tall and having that be the only thing hes got going for him is absolutely hilarious to me and im leaning into that hard
he has a tail also, but its small and not visible from the chart
pomni > jittery jester (i had to look up "other words for anxious" for this.my intelligence is showing)
pretty much the only one i referenced real in game clothing for, which sort of fits! protag moment
this was all i really had, since other established things like their personalities and relationships arent really changed much. but this was fun to think about :3 input is appreciated !
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dailyloopdeloop · 9 months ago
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DAY 13: the creature lisa frank edition
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ghostorbz · 7 months ago
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Zim doesn't mind human traditions if it involves sweets
ALSOOO this is an old doodle but here's them both in my actual art style because I think I finally got DIBS STUPID HAIR correctly. Idk why it was so hard to do for me
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So uea,,, I think they're pretty cute I just have to draw them in my style more so I can get used to it
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solradguy · 8 months ago
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We have run like 30 railjack missions and Sevagoth's fat heaving chassis won't drop. I have like 5 Sevagoth systems. Maybe if I hammer them onto one of my 9,000,000,000 Harrow chassis I can transmute it into the part I need to make this man
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etoilesombre · 4 months ago
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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Black Sails Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Captain Flint | James McGraw/John Silver Characters: John Silver, Captain Flint | James McGraw Additional Tags: BDSM as Character Study, Under-negotiated Kink, Humiliation, Angst, sub!Flint, Insecure Top John Silver, (no but imagine how stressful topping Flint would be), Gunplay, Object Insertion, mention of lots of other kink, Past childhood sexual abuse, Discussion of Past Abuse, past Flint/Hennessey, trauma responses, Sub Drop, Sort Of, Heavy Alcohol Use, Drunk Sex, Oral Sex, thigh fucking, some fluff at the end Series: Part 3 of Kinkmeme-Verse Summary:
Prompt: Flint and Silver fucking, with Flint so deep in subspace he couldn't find his way out if he tried. And then Silver does something unintentional that crashes him out of it. Subdrop, a lot of helpless but caring and trying Silver, bonus points for them finishing sexytimes out of the subspace once they both calmed down. No infantilization or daddy kink please. Can be canon or modern, dealer's choice.
After Charles Town, Silver and Flint become intimately familiar with each other’s pain. A mutually beneficial arrangement helps Flint cope, and provides Silver with a much needed outlet. Eventually, though, difficult memories are brought to the surface, forcing Flint to confront his past. Silver is there to help him pick up the pieces.
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born-to-lose · 15 days ago
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The feminine urge to do 60s/70s groupie style photoshoots
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rist-ix · 7 months ago
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https://www.tumblr.com/rist-ix/749015401700229120 not you reblogging this when you ship bloom with the man who murdered her family 😭
Bloom's into ppl who slay! Hope this helps :3
#alright snark and ship wars aside i get where you’re coming from tho#if you're genuinely interested in my thought process here i would love to elaborate#which is exactly what I’ll do!#first of all! the post you linked is about headcanons#which my brain kinda wants to put into a whole different category than ships — fandom ships in particular! — but i can leave that aside#because there IS an argument to be made that relationships are an extension of characterization and personality traits#if you wanna go that route i would wanna explain that Bloom's and/or Valtor's interest in the other is in fact based on canon#(even though I don’t really think ships need to be established in the source material. make shit up that’s what fandom is for#1) the Andros episode speaks for itself. Valtor specifically tells the Trix to back off because HE wants to be the one to fight bloom#2) the episode before that he asks questions about her (and only her; even though he has more powerful enemies to worry about)#demonstrating curiosity about and interest in her#3) that same episode (or the one before; can’t remember) is their infamous first meeting#where time LITERALLY slows down as the pass each other on the stairs#they get IMPACT FRAMES#the whole color palette changes!!!#idk about u but I eat that shit up. love the drama of it all no one does it like them#I’m gonna skip all the instances where Valtor is spying on Bloom through his little scrying spell because oh god who has the time#let’s go straight to Bloom#if I had a week I would not be able to collect all the moments where she growls his name in pure fury and single-minded determination#she gets a little bit obsessed with him over the course of the season and I personally think that’s very sexy of her#Bloom is known for her tunnel vision when it comes to her past and origins and Valtor's existence fits PERFECTLY into that#it ties in neatly with her overarching story of the past 2 seasons#literally PERFECT foils#which always makes for the juiciest stories#4) she singles him out for a duel in the museum episode#5) she can literally feel his presence#6) the mere mention of his name sends her into her weird faux enchantix#of course there’s no romance in canon but there’s TENSION AND CHEMISTRY which is all u really need for a ship#all their animosity and bad blood is what makes it so INTERESTING to wonder how they COULD work. it’s the spice that makes for good fanfic!
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razzek · 8 months ago
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Top 5 MOST useful tools for blind people just starting out
Top 5 most fave tools for the blind overall
Top 5 least useful
Top 5 fucking weirdest and/or funniest
This is a big ask and I will do my best to answer, with the caveat that I am just a single blind person with memory issues who doesn't remember everything my blind friends have told me. XD I am counting other people as tools in this list because a person with eyes sometimes is a handy tool for us. XD
Top 5 MOST useful tools for blind people just starting out 1. White cane 2. Blindness skills training through centers, government programs like Vocational Rehabilitation, Orientation & Mobility specialists, and anywhere you can find it 3. Membership with the National Talking Book Library aka NLS in your state (US); I think the UK is RNIB and Canada has one, not sure about other countries 4. Supportive family and friends and other blind people if you can find them 5. Screen reader (NVDA is free for Windows, iPhone has VoiceOver, Android uses TalkBack)
Top 5 most fave tools for the blind overall 1. White cane and/or guide dog 2. Text to speech, screen readers, audio books, audio described movies and tv 3. Accessible smart phones (often iPhone but Android is catching up) 4. Bump dots (stick-on tactile dots you put around your home) 5. Braille and refreshable braille displays/notetakers
Top 5 least useful 1. Sighted people inventing crap without talking to any blind people ("smart" canes, "smart" shoes, dangerous devices you hold in your only free hand that claim to tell you what's in front of you but actually don't, screen reader breaking "accessibility" overlays, etc...) 2. That ring which only shows one braille cell at a time (that's not how anyone reads) 3. Strangers giving/yelling vague directions ("It's right over there!", "Oh my god watch out for the stairs (that you are halfway down)!", giving directions to the guide dog who doesn't speak English or any language because they are a dog...) 4. Hot liquid measuring devices (always broken, the noise they make is so fucking loud it's caused me a lot more injury than just sticking my finger in the hot liquid, will wake up the neighbors) 5. All but one use case of AI claiming to be for the blind, at least as far as I've seen
Top 5 fucking weirdest and/or funniest 1. Ping pong balls (good for measuring hot liquids) 2. Funnels (really helpful for pouring liquids) 3. The lanyard strap that sticks to the back of your phone so you can wear it around your neck (looks silly, is incredibly useful) 4. White cane holster (yes it's a thing, I have at least three XD) 5. Things being organized Very Specifically (close your eyes and YOU try to find the remote after someone put it in a random place! XD)
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