#and then maybe a couple from when they were 12-13
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sloppilyeatinggrapes · 2 days ago
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This is my secret sideblog so I'm just gonna. Not do it as an ask game, I just want to talk about podcasts!
1.) what’s the first podcast you listened to?
Welcome to Nightvale <3
2.) what’s a podcast you’ve cried over?
So many, but recently, Unwell!
3.) Favorite podcast pet? (Idk if that’s worded weird but like if one of the characters has a cat or smth)
I'm honestly not the biggest fan of podcast pets but there is ONE EXCEPTION which is Dumptruck from Find us alive
4.) what podcast has the best soundtrack/music?
Aaah there are many I like... One some might have missed is Dreamboy, which have a couple of bangers, or In Strange Woods, which is a WHOLE MUSICAL and I listen to the songs frequently. But my go to soundtracks are Friends at the table (thank you Jack deQuit). Honorable mention to Wolf 359 and Hallowoods who I think uses their osts SO WELL, giving me VISCERAL reactions when I hear the music out of context.
5.) what’s a podcast that you really like but find it kinda hard to follow the plot?
I have tried to listen to What's the Frequence so many times, it seems so intriguing and interesting as a concept, but I still don't know what even the basic plot is. I think it starts with a murder?
6.) what characters from different podcasts do you think would be friends?
Maybe this is a weird combo but I do think Diggory would be great Friends with Kai and X from Girl in Space. It's something about identity and bodies and being made with a purpose, and somehow still ending up being a pretty chill person.
I also think the demons from Brimstone Valley Mall (especially the teens) would be best hatefriends with the Hrose camp polecule. They are opposite sides but same kind of mall kids. Maybe they wouldn't be friends maybe I just want to watch the world burn
7.) what characters from different podcasts do you think would hate each other?
hmmm. Elias TMA and Keppler Wolf359. They are boss middle managers who think very highly of their own competence, have VERY different ideological base and would kill each other with knives over a cornchip
8.) what’s a podcast where you mix up the characters voices?
I have had this problem with A LOT of podcasts in the beginning, it usually takes me a while unless they are very distinct. I remember it being a problem with Mabel (literally two characters and I couldnt tell them apart...) and Syntax with two of the women side-characters. It took me so long to understand what their personalities were supposed to be, since I couldnt tell who said what.
9.) what’s a podcast that you know the characters so well you can recognize their breathing?
oooh hmm. I mean, Nightvale. It's been like 11 years after all. And Deck the halls with Matrimony!
10.) what’s a podcast that you wish you could listen to again for the first time?
oooh maybe The Penumbra podcast, specifically Juno! I think I got a weird impression of it because I listened to the OG, much rougher version of arc 1, it was really confusing and I got a very different idea about the characters in my head. Now when it's finished, I think it would be a better listen to just go through all of it as a blank slate! I also liked the end, and I think it found what it is about during the journey.
11.) what’s a podcast you’ve listened to more than once?
Most... If I like it I'll listen AT LEAST twice. But I have listened to Deck the Halls SO MANY TIMES because it's short and wrapped.
12.) what’s a podcast you wish more people listened to?
Having many fans is a double edged sword, but right now, Hallowoods and Hymns for the road. I think both would be so visually inspiring for fanart and oc's.
13.) what do you like to do while listening to a podcast?
Draw! Always!
14.) who is a podcast character that you love?
Leon from Greater Boston!
Diggory Graves from Hallowoods!
Brnine from Friends at The Table!
15.) who is a podcast character you can’t stand?
Genuinely? I did not like Cassius from Syntax... sorry... I just think they are too stupid for me.
16.) what songs do you associate with a certain character/ podcast?
oh man, Hoziers Eat your young with Hallowoods, Moss by cosmo shelldrake (for obvious reasons) with Hymns for the road, Haunted House by sir babygirl with Friends at the Table
17.) what’s a podcast that you can’t stop thinking about?
Bluff city (friends at the table), Hallowoods, Greater Boston and The Silt Verses. It's something about imperfect communities
18.) are their any podcasts that you regret listening to?
Yes. We're alive. Zombie podcast. Was waiting for it to subverse all the boring and bad cliches it set up. It didn't. It was 100 eps a 40 min. I have never been more mad
19.) whose your favorite podcast couple?
In canon, of course Cecil and Carlos. The OG!
Shipping wise its Leon and Michael from Greater Boston, Harley and Lancaster and Love and Radager from Find us Alive, Brnine and Valence from Palisade, Heard and Hector from Bluff city.
I also ship Malik from World gone wrong with the alien replacement of his ex. I WANT TO BELIEVE.
20.) whose a podcast character that you think would dress really cool?
Actually cool? Probably Riot or Olivier from HFTH. Cool as in interesting/fascinating? Cecil WTNV again.
Podcast themed ask game cause I’m bored!
1.) what’s the first podcast you listened to?
2.) what’s a podcast you’ve cried over?
3.) Favorite podcast pet? (Idk if that’s worded weird but like if one of the characters has a cat or smth)
4.) what podcast has the best soundtrack/music?
5.) what’s a podcast that you really like but find it kinda hard to follow the plot?
6.) what characters from different podcasts do you think would be friends?
7.) what characters from different podcasts do you think would hate each other?
8.) what’s a podcast where you mix up the characters voices?
9.) what’s a podcast that you know the characters so well you can recognize their breathing?
10.) what’s a podcast that you wish you could listen to again for the first time?
11.) what’s a podcast you’ve listened to more than once?
12.) what’s a podcast you wish more people listened to?
13.) what do you like to do while listening to a podcast?
14.) who is a podcast character that you love?
15.) who is a podcast character you can’t stand?
16.) what songs do you associate with a certain character/ podcast?
17.) what’s a podcast that you can’t stop thinking about?
18.) are their any podcasts that you regret listening to?
19.) whose your favorite podcast couple?
20.) whose a podcast character that you think would dress really cool?
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phneltwrites · 3 months ago
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be the place you call home ✂️🩷
hiiiiii 💜
I am like details obsessed so im cheating with a list of fave minor details:
wilhelm being bad at football <3 because it's part of his personal growth to do stuff without the expectation of being perfect
fighting for my life to not use pronouns for Petter, why is English so hard
wilhelm was crown prince "like in real life?" lmao
simon having a full time dilation incident while listening to a boring story. been there
plant dads wilmon
(honourable mention to all of the ways wilhelm is fighting off panic attacks that simon isn't noticing: running in his ridiculous cold weather athletic outift, doing All The Chores, outfit choreography, carefully drinking water)
✂ I really wanted to put in a scene where Simon and his university friends go to karaoke!! if I had any brain now would be the moment to write it but just imagine along with me for now. Purpose of the scene was to show again that Simon is disconnected from this group and having to rethink how he's defined himself cause their music choices do not overlap (there's a Carola v Karol G joke in there). Songs that he never thought much about turn out to be Spain Spanish and they don't know them at all. There's a brief agreement about Shakira but even when it's songs he knows, he doesn't have the vibe. He doesn't dance! He doesn't clap on time! They try to fix his hip work but it's hopeless.
I thought maybe I could bring it back later in the fic where he could be like fuck you i know who i am and sing Ella by Bebe which I picked out as a song that Linda might have loved back when she was pregnant and played for the kids growing up. But I couldn't make either fit.
It goes a bit like this:
"What do you mean you don't know Selena?" Carlos looks absolutely gobsmacked.
Simon squirms. He knows music! He does! But he doesn't know everything. When it comes to Spanish music he knows the stuff his mom played and he knows things that come out recently - he stays on top of it, okay? He listens to Rosalia and Bad Bunny. He won't win any obscurity competitions but he is reasonably au courant. He thinks. He hopes.
This is none of that. This is some weird void where nothing is familiar to him.
"What about Juanes?" That's Marco. Simon also doesn't know.
"I like Bebe," Simon interjects desperate to prove he knows things. Who is he? He's not like this. What does he care what they think, he knows what he knows. And yet.
There's a pause. At least he can claim the victory of throwing them off their argument.
"Like Bebe Rexha?"
Simon gives up.
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navybrat817 · 8 days ago
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Hold You Tight: Part 13
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Pairing: Club Owner!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Fic Summary: The owner of The 107th wants you to be his girl whether you like it or not.
Part 12 | Series Masterlist | Part 14
Chapter Word Count: Over 4.8k
Chapter Summary: You're on edge, but try to enjoy the day of freedom that Bucky promised you.
Chapter Warnings: DARK AU, mild dubcon (kissing, touching), tension, unease, possessiveness, inner turmoil, gaslighting, manipulation, stalking, slight feels, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?), more warnings to come.
A/N: More Hold You Tight and thank you for sticking with me! Bucky edit by the beautiful @nixakimbo . ❤️ Beta read by the lovely @whisperlullaby , but any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-graphics . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
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For his part, Bucky behaved once you were back in the shop. He waited patiently while you tried on a couple of the dresses and didn't attempt to go back into the dressing room or force you to come out and model them. You were thankful for that since there wasn't anything to jam under the doorknob and you didn’t need him to corner you again. Who knew how much he’d push the envelope the next time.
Before you went to the counter, you grabbed a cardigan from a rack. “This, too, please” you said, handing it to the associate. It would be nice to have in case you got cold at the vineyard.
“Of course,” she smiled, ringing it up with the other garments and accessories selected.
Bucky eyed the cardigan with a small smile. “That looks warm and comfortable,” he commented, sliding a card across the counter. “I should’ve remembered that,” he said almost to himself.
“Well, part of the fun of shopping is picking out your own stuff,” you said, careful to leave the bite out of your voice.
“And part of the fun of gift giving is surprising the receiver,” he said, kissing your temple. “I was trying to surprise you by having stuff you liked ready,” he added in a smaller voice.
You didn’t miss the glance from the associate, making you feel as small as Bucky’s voice sounded. Of course, he made himself look like a doting boyfriend and your comment made you sound ungrateful. “It was a really nice gesture and I loved the dresses selected. Thank you,” you said. He showed that he knew and liked your taste like a caring partner would do. “But maybe during the next shopping trip I can go through and pick everything out myself?” It would give you some sort of autonomy.
“Sure,” he smiled, likely happy at the prospect of there being a next time.
You mumbled a thank you to the associate before Bucky carried everything out of the store, not at all ashamed to carry stuff for his girl. Another doting boyfriend gesture. He even refused to let Ray take the garments from him when he held the door open. Nor did he let his bodyguard help you into the car.
“I didn’t spoil you as much as I wanted to, but it’s a start,” he smiled once you both got settled in.
“Yeah, it is,” you said. In your eyes, he spoiled you plenty. “I really do appreciate it. I’m not used to someone wanting to spoil me.”
Past boyfriends didn't care enough to do nice things like that. The last girl Bucky dated tried to steal from him, but did she demand shopping trips? Maybe he was simply happy to spend his money beyond you being his girl because you didn't expect or ask him to.
“You deserve it,” he said, sighing as he raked a hand through his hair. “I can't believe I won't see you tomorrow.”
You glanced at him and noted the droop in his shoulders. He may have dismissed your feelings from time to time, but it wouldn't help you to dismiss his when you were stuck in a vehicle with him. “I know it'll be tough, but it’s one day and you do have a photo of me to look at if you’ll miss me.” Who knew what else he had since your place was bugged.
“I do. I’ll probably look at it all day between work and other stuff,” he smiled, tilting his head toward you. “Do you think you could do me a favor?”
You eyed him suspiciously. “Depends on the favor,” you replied. God, did he want you to send him an explicit photo of you or something?
He made sure he was looking you in the eye. “Don’t run tomorrow. Don't leave the city,” he stated.
You blinked. The man wasn’t psychic, so how could he possibly know you thought of doing that very thing? At least, to get out of the city earlier than the girls trip. Was your poker face that terrible? “You think I’ll run?”
“I think part of you wants to try. Not even because you want freedom, but because you want to rebel against me and take back some control,” he replied. For his part, he didn’t sound upset. “But I think you and I both know you either won’t get far or you won’t end up running at all.”
You opened and shut your mouth. You wanted to. God knows you wanted to get far away. “Do you think I’m a coward if I don’t try?” You weren’t sure why his opinion on the situation mattered since he was the cause of it all.
“I think you’re one of the furthest things from a coward. Given the circumstances, you’ve been extremely brave,” he said. You didn't feel brave, but it was kind of nice to hear. “But one other favor? Don’t tear your place apart looking for the bugs either.”
You practically threw your arms up in the air, his compliment of you forgotten. The man was beyond exasperating. “Oh, come on! You’re giving me the day to myself, but I still have to stay in the city and I can’t get rid of the bugs?” You smacked his chest before you could stop yourself. “Your compromises suck, do you know that?”
His eyebrows shot up. “Did you… did you just say my compromises suck?” He threw his head back, his laughter filling the car. “Your insults are just as adorable as you are.”
“Yes, that’s what I said and my insults aren’t adorable,” you said, your face hot when he kept chuckling. “And I swear if you find some sort of loophole to see me tomorrow, I will go to your penthouse and throw out all of your expensive suits for being a liar.”
That cut his laughter short, but his eyes still sparkled with amusement. “Now we both know you’d donate my clothes before throwing them out. At least make your threat credible.”
“I… Okay, no, I wouldn't throw them away,” you said, smacking his chest once more when he looked like he’d laugh again. “But you may be onto something with donating. Maybe I'll donate your first editions to someone, too.”
“You wouldn't.” He tapped the tip of your nose, sending more fire through your veins. “You’re not the vengeful type.”
Grabbing his wrist before he could pull away, you lightly bit his finger and drew a sharp gasp from him. “I might just surprise us both.”
Heat crept up your neck at the look in his eyes. “I have no doubt about that,” he whispered, holding the back of your head and closing the gap between you.
His lips were persistent against yours, but still soft. So was his tongue invading your mouth. You put a hand against his chest as he pushed further into your space, but he was an immovable wall. You should've known he’d take your action as foreplay. He would twist anything and everything you did in his favor.
His scruff tickled your cheek as you turned your head away to breathe, but the intake of air didn't slow your heart. “Did you know I’ve dreamt of moments like this with you?” His hand cupped your breast through your top as you shuddered. You were trapped once again, just like in the shop. “You riled up or flustered and you making me laugh? Just… little moments.”
“No,” you whispered, his thumb brushing your nipple until it hardened. Touching you, having you, yes, you knew he dreamt of those things. You knew he wanted a connection. Hearing how much he craved the little things made your head spin, too.
“Well, I have.” Before you could tell him to stop, his hand fell away. “I won’t bother you tomorrow,” he whispered, brushing his hair back and settling once again in his seat. “As much as I want to see you, I won't.”
You smoothed out your top and got comfortable again, too. The underlying tension didn't cease when he took your hand and you didn't flinch or pull away. He wouldn't try anything else. Not tonight. You just knew.
“Try not to run tomorrow, okay?” he asked.
You looked out the window and caught him looking at you in the glass, the semi distorted image an accurate description of your relationship. You knew it was off, that he was off. No one else would see it that way or just didn’t care.
“I’ll try not to,” you replied.
Whether it was cowardly to not try or stupidly brave to stay, you might just have to stay put.
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You didn't say much for the remainder of the car ride. Bucky brought up the double date again with Steve and you didn't argue when he suggested a couple of places. Maybe you could figure out what Steve was doing to this girl and you could help each other out. At the very least, it would be nice to have a new friend who might understand a bit of what you were going through.
It was fucked up way to think.
Bucky managed to balance the books he purchased for you earlier that day as well as the clothes once Ray parked the car. “I can carry something,” you offered.
“I've got it, but thanks,” he said, refusing to let Ray help either. “And this way, I'll keep my hands to myself,” he added with a smirk.
You bristled, but recovered quickly. “I hope you have a good evening, Ray.”
He gave you a nod and what looked like a hint of a smile. “You as well.”
You were a bundle of nerves as you went into your building. You were close to having time to yourself, but Bucky was still going up to your apartment since he insisted on carrying everything. The elevator ride up was comfortably silent, but you saw the tension in his body once you got to your floor. He really didn’t want to let you go for a day.
“Thank you again for the books and the clothes,” you said, getting your keys out as he followed closely. He was practically breathing down your neck. “You can just leave everything in the entryway.”
He hummed, stepping inside once you unlocked the door. “You don’t want me in your bedroom?” he guessed.
“I think we’ve had enough excitement for today,” you said. Between kissing you in the shop and his car, you wouldn’t risk it.
He carefully set the books and garments down before he turned to you. In an instant, your back was against the wall and the sound you made muffled by his mouth. He moaned against your lips when you didn’t turn your head away, but you shoved his chest to get him away. You really thought he wouldn’t push anymore tonight. He promised. He…
He stopped.
He pulled back, his breathing ragged and a glazed look in his eyes. “I’m not a monster. I’m not,” he whispered, rubbing a hand over his face. You braced yourself against the wall as he turned to leave, pausing to look over his shoulder. “I’ve just never wanted or needed anyone like you. I’m… I’m trying.”
“I know you are,” you whispered. And he wanted you to want and need him, too.
He smiled sadly and you almost reached out to soothe him, but you refrained. “Enjoy your day tomorrow,” he said.
The door shut before you could respond, leaving you in the silence of your apartment. A minute or two passed before you went to your room. Uncaring of the bugs around your place, you began to pack a few things in a tote bag with tears in your eyes. You wouldn’t leave tonight, but you’d be prepared if you wanted to go tomorrow. Who were you kidding, would you leave at all?
You blinked the tears away when you caught the photo of you and your friends on the dresser. It was foolish to think of escaping if it meant risking something happening to your loved ones. Addison and Brady. Dana. Your other friends. Mrs. Crandle. In the end, you would have to stay for them. Your life for their safety and continued happiness.
A small price to pay.
Curling up on your bed next to the bag, you whispered, “Once again, you win.”
Would luck ever be on your side when it came to him?
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There were no texts from Bucky when you woke up the next morning. It felt… oddly quiet, but you weren’t sure if that was a relief or something you didn’t want to think about. Nothing was out of place in your apartment, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that you were still being watched thanks to the bugs. There were no gifts outside of your door. No breakfast. Just the quiet of your own thoughts as you went about your morning routine.
You smiled as you left the apartment, but it felt different today. Somehow lighter. It was as though normalcy wasn’t a burden, but a chance to breathe, to exist without your new “boyfriend” pulling the strings. The crisp morning air felt welcoming, and the walk to your favorite cafe was like a promise that today you could simply enjoy the time you had. The rich scents of coffee and pastries greeted you like an old friend, and for the first time in days, you felt a flicker of something close to peace.
“Most important meal of the day.”
You tried to push Bucky and his haunting blue eyes from your thoughts, but his absence lingered like a shadow you couldn’t chase away. He still followed you. Today wasn’t a day for lingering on what could happen tomorrow. Today was about you and small steps, about finding comfort in simple moments, and allowing yourself to breathe without the weight of uncertainty. And kindness to a stranger seemed like a good place to start.
“I’d like to pay for the person behind me,” you said.
"Thank you so much. You didn’t have to do that," the woman said, her surprise softening into a genuine smile. Something in her tone felt warm, like the simple exchange was more than just about paying for her coffee and pastry. It felt like a shared understanding, a reminder that kindness still mattered, and that it could still find its place in a world that often felt too heavy.
You couldn’t help but smile a little wider. “I wanted to,” you said, taking your to-go bag. You were still capable of offering kindness and still held the belief that it could make a difference, even in small ways. “Have a great day.”
The next stop was the flower shop once you finished your treat. You carefully selected a variety of flowers so you could make a nice arrangement at home. You were far from sad, but it would brighten up your mood more. Working with flowers always gave you a burst of happiness.
Once you were back at your apartment, with no one waiting for you, you got to work. Humming, you cut and prepped the flowers and selected a wide, simple vase. Once you had the grid of tape on, you added the greenery, focal flowers, and filler flowers. You loved the balance and harmony it presented once finished. It was also beautiful.
You snapped a photo of the colorful arrangement and sent it to the girl group chat. “What do we think?”
Addison was the first to respond. “Gorgeous! Seriously, how do you do that? I can’t wait to see what you do for my wedding!”
Dana responded next. “Why are you not running your own shop? Mrs. Crandle is sweet, but you should be in charge.”
You giggled when Gina asked, “Can you please tell me how to keep flowers alive? I’m hopeless.” with just about everyone reacting with a finger pointing up.
“You also appreciate Words of Affirmation, even if compliments make you feel uncertain because you sometimes feel overlooked.”
You hugged your phone to your chest as Bucky’s voice echoed in your mind. The praise from your friends was warm and you felt seen, but a part of you couldn’t help but wonder if you were seeking validation. Did you need them to remind you that you were good at something? Or was it just that you didn’t want to feel invisible, even in this small corner of your world?
“Love you ladies. Can’t wait for Saturday.”
It was true. You loved them and always would. With the thought of the upcoming weekend and enjoying the time together, your doubt was silenced.
There were still no texts from Bucky as you wrapped up the morning. Things felt normal. It was almost too normal. You felt like you were still holding your breath and looking over your shoulder when you left your place again to head to the bookstore, expecting Bucky to block your path or suddenly show up.
It was silly to visit the bookstore considering you were just there and Bucky bought you a bunch of books. Like the cafe, it was another sense of comfort. You even spotted a new book you previously overlooked. It was a perfect novel to add to your collection.
“Reading has always been a hobby of mine. I even have first editions of some of my favorite books.”
Had Bucky carved out a place for himself so deep in your core that everything went back to him? Was this how he went about his day? Did he see something or do something and his mind just went to you? How did one function when someone else constantly invaded their thoughts?
“Hi. Is Marc working today?” you asked once you were at the counter. You wanted to see with your own eyes that he was okay.
“No, he isn’t, but he’ll be in tomorrow.”
“Oh, okay,” you said, stopping the associate before she bagged the book. Maybe you could find an excuse to go back or call to talk to him. “I’ll just put that in my bag, thanks.”
The weather had warmed up enough that you could go to the park with your new book in hand. Grabbing a seat on an empty bench, you took a moment to appreciate the landscape. It was one of the brightest spots in the city. You sometimes pictured having a picnic date there, looking up at the sky and seeing what shapes the clouds made.
“One day,” you smiled to yourself, getting started on your book.
You were only about one chapter in when a man’s voice jolted you from the pages. “Excuse me, miss. Is this seat available?” You glanced up to find a tall man in a turtleneck and long trench coat standing over you with a charming smile. Was he wearing purple gloves? “My apologies, I didn't mean to startle you.”
“It’s okay.” You nodded to the empty spot. “Feel free.”
“Thank you.” He sat down, his eyes on you as you tried to go back to your book. “Beautiful day, isn't it?”
“It is,” you agreed, turning a page in the hopes he’d get the hint. You didn’t want to be rude by not conversing, but you were trying to read.
“And it’s nice to finally meet the lady who has James Buchanan Barnes so enamored.”
Your heart thudded in your chest, turning to face him. He had a knowing smile on his face, like he knew you were either afraid or worried. “I’m sorry. Do I know you?”
“I don't believe you do. How rude of me to assume.” He extended a gloved hand toward you. “Helmut Zemo. James and I work together on occasion.”
“Nice to meet you.” You shook his hand, but didn't let it linger. Something about him put you on edge, a different sort of edge than Bucky. “I don't hear many people call him James.”
“He’s not particularly fond of it. He much prefers for people to call him Bucky.”
That said something about their relationship if the man didn't respect Bucky’s preferred name. “Okay, Mr. Zemo. Is there something I can help you with?” You couldn't imagine Bucky sending this man to speak to you. “And, I’m sorry, how did you know where to find me?”
He shrugged a bit. “I may have bribed someone or two. Nothing for you to trouble yourself with.”
Your stomach plummeted. What was wrong with these men? “You sound like Bucky,” you muttered. No wonder they worked together sometimes, if he was telling the truth. “And if you’re bribing people just to get close to me, I think I have the right to know exactly who you spoke to.”
“As I said, it’s nothing for you to trouble yourself with.”
You looked around. There were others at the park, but no one paid any attention to you. What would happen if you screamed? “What do you want from me?” you asked. Was this one of the things Bucky meant when he said it wasn’t safe for you?
He held his hands up. “I mean you no harm. I just wanted to see you face-to-face since I didn't receive an invitation from James to meet you at his club. I’m sure it… slipped his mind,” he said with a bitter smile that had you shifting away from him. “I must say, you don't strike me as the type to fall for a murderer.”
You swallowed a little. “A murderer?” Bucky had referred to himself as a monster who hurt and killed.
“Oh, yes. The blood of many stains his hands, don't you know. Alexander Pierce. Brock Rumlow. Jasper Sitwell. Howard Stark,” he ticked off names like he was listing ingredients for a recipe. “He even killed-”
“I think your time’s up.”
Both of you looked behind you to find Ray standing feet away. It was one of the first times you ever saw the stoic man look angry. “Ray?”
“Ah, Raymond!” Zemo smiled, pushing himself up from the bench. He didn’t look at all intimidated by Bucky’s bodyguard. “I was wondering which one of you would show up. Good to see you still have work.”
Ray blinked twice. “Indeed. And I’m sure you’ll hear from my boss very soon,” he said, walking around the bench to put space between you and the virtual stranger. “For now, you should go back to your side of the city and leave her be.”
“We were only talking.” Zemo held his hands up again. “You don't think I'd pose a threat to the property of James Barnes, do you?”
“I’m no one’s property. I'm a person,” you seethed, holding your head high. You were tired of everyone around you thinking of you as an object. “And I agree with Ray. You need to go. Now.”
“Such unexpected fire,” Zemo smiled, making your skin crawl. “I didn't mean to upset or offend you. I’m sure we’ll see each other again soon.”
Ray’s jaw clenched. “Walk away and don't look back at her,” he ordered.
Zemo glared at Ray, but walked away without another word, his jacket flowing in the light breeze.
You breathed properly again as Ray took a seat next to you. “Are you okay?” He shifted toward you when you nodded. “I’m so sorry he bothered you. He was supposed to be out of town.”
“Who is he? How did he know where to find me?” You narrowed your eyes at Ray and he didn't flinch under your gaze. Much scarier people stared him down. “And how did you know where to find me?”
“Zemo works with Bucky from time to time. He has his own club blocks away, Echo Scorpion. Lots of money and resources and far from being Bucky’s friend,” he explained, blinking twice again. “Boss wanted to make extra sure you were safe and he thought I was the best for the job.”
“What?” you asked over a whisper. Bucky and his fucking loopholes. “Have you been following me all day?”
“Yes,” he answered.
You slowly breathed in and out to remain calm about the fact that Bucky stayed away, but still had you followed. It didn’t calm you down. You were upset. So upset that you let out a shout of frustration loud enough that a few people looked your way, but no one stopped to check and make sure you were okay. Maybe they thought you were crazy. Maybe you were at this point.
Ray didn’t look at all surprised by your outburst. “Not to defend my boss, but he is keeping his promise by not contacting you himself if that is any consolation.”
“He still sent you, Ray. He can say all he wants that it’s for my safety and maybe it is, but it’s still a control freak move and he’s probably demanding that you give him every detail about my day,” you argued, shoving your book into your bag. “And today was going so well.”
“It still can.”
“You’re still going to follow me though.” With Zemo showing up, maybe it was for the best that Ray showed up. “That Zemo guy. Is he going to hurt me?”
“No,” Ray said with certainty. Zemo still wanted something though. Maybe he wanted to get under Bucky’s skin since he wasn't asked to meet you. “He knows that would start a war of sorts. Try not to worry about him. We’ll deal with him.”
“Start a war? You’ll deal with him? You speak so casually about violence because I assume it’s violence that’s intended,” you said as Ray looked in his lap. “He said Bucky is a murderer and he listed names. He killed those people, didn’t he?” you pressed, shuddering a bit when Ray didn’t deny it. God, he really was a killer. Why? For his own gain? “I need to sit down,” you said when your vision began to blur.
“You are sitting down,” he gently pointed out, scooting over and tenderly placing a hand on the back of your head. “Deep breaths. Put your head between your knees. It’ll help.”
You bent over, taking a few deep breaths like he instructed. “You said I can do this, but I don't know if I can, Ray. I’m not brave,” you said in a small voice.
Bucky didn't have anything to fear. He was a king who ruled his city and decided what to do with the peasants. You didn’t ask for him to entangle you in anything of his, the peasant that you were. You just wanted to survive at this point.
Ray surprised you by rubbing your back, your head starting to feel normal again. “Yes, you are. You just don't believe it because you’re not in your element,” he said, helping you sit up properly again after a minute. You did feel a bit better. “Try not to think about this and enjoy the rest of your day. You owe it to yourself to have some peace and relaxation.”
Glancing at your tote bag, you had to agree. You did owe it to yourself to have a bit of peace and relaxation. “Bucky asked me not to run or look for the bugs, but I can’t have complete peace today if I go back to my place for the night,” you said, glancing at the blonde beside you. “Is there anywhere I can stay where he won’t have direct eyes on me?”
Up until Zemo showed up, it was a normal day. A good day. You wanted that to continue.
Ray thought it over. “There’s a hotel not far from here, The Red Room. We can get you a suite for the night. I will warn you before you ask, the manager has worked with Bucky before.” He stopped you before you could get up and leave. “But she won’t breathe a word to him about anything you do. Her staff is very discreet.”
You weren’t sure whether to believe him or not. At the end of the day, he worked with Bucky and his loyalty remained with him. “Why The Red Room and not just another hotel?”
“Because it’s safe there,” he said.
You sighed and slowly got to your feet. It wasn’t getting away, but it was a small win and something told you to trust Ray. “Before we go, is Bucky doing okay today?” Part of you was curious.
Ray shook his head. “He’s in a mood and he misses you,” he replied. You pushed the guilt away. Bucky had to learn to handle time apart. “Shall we go? Are you okay to walk?”
“I’m fine. Just lead the way,” you answered.
Spending time in a hotel suite would relax you. It would give you time to read your book. And it wasn't like Bucky would show up and ambush you.
Right?
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And Zemo has entered the picture. What will Bucky do when he finds out he made contact with his girl? Is Ray really looking out for you? Will anything happen at the hotel or will our girl get the rest she more than deserves? Love and thanks for reading! ❤️
Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
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thatsthat24 · 2 months ago
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Sanderstober 2024
SANDERSTOBER IS HERE! Once again, my friends and I are creating art prompts for you all to try your hand at for every day of this month, if you'd like! Try one, try some, try all! If you miss a day but still want to do a prompt from a day you missed, please go ahead! This is all just for fun. If you'd like to share your creations, you can use #Sanderstober2024. I'd love to see! Hope you enjoy them! ��
October 1: Always gotta start out this day with the traditional prompt! take a character from media or OC and draw how they look on September 30th vs. how they look on October 1st!
October 2: Create a sheet ghost, but featuring the pattern of a sheet/blanket you own or maybe used to own when you were younger. - This idea came from my friend, Andrea!
October 3: A quick Google search of “keyblade designs” (the weapon from Kingdom Hearts) would show you how the weapon changes based off the property the character goes to! Design a keyblade based around any piece of media, as if the main character from Kingdom Hearts traveled there… - This idea came from my friend, Rene!
October 4: There’s a lot of fast food and cereal mascots out there… I think you know where I’m going with this. Take any of those mascots and turn them into a MONSTER or KILLER.
October 5: This one’s a play off a prompt from last year AND it’s a writing prompt! Take any famous character from a horror film, and create a nursery rhyme about them. You can make it completely innocent, or, like many nursery rhymes, remain dark but disguised in pretty language.
October 6: Take your favorite animal… and dress it as your dream profession. - This idea came from my friend, Talyn!
October 7: Take one of your favorite movies and reimagine if it had been marketed as a different genre (e.g. Hellraiser as a family comedy, Goodfellas as a romance, etc.) - This idea came from my friend, Joan!
October 8: Turning things into Pokemon tends to be a favorite prompt of mine, and this year, the category is… fast food! Take any fast food of your choice, create a Pokemon, and name it!
October 9: Take any foreign animation cartoon and draw them in the style of a western animation! - This idea from my friend, Dominic!
October 10: Definitely a sucker for fall fashion and aesthetic, so take any character or group of characters from one of your favorite pieces of content and give them a fall aesthetic makeover.
October 11: Crows collect shiny things… what things might the nest of a crow contain from one of your favorite fictional universes? - This idea came from my friend, Lev!
October 12: Take any color and ONLY use that color in order to depict a Halloween, horror movie, or fall scene.
October 13: A very expressionistic vibe for this prompt: draw the aura which you hope to be walking in during fall or Halloween. - This idea came from my friend, Valerie!
October 14: There’s LOTS of new words and sayings out there (skibidi, rizz, Ohio, ick, etc.). Google some, you’ll learn a couple new ones. I want you to create a Halloween monster/creature/cryptid based off one of these new words, as if they were the names of the creatures themself (Oh my gosh… it’s the legendary Los Angeles Ick…)
October 15: Sure, people are scared of Halloween monsters… but are there things that would be scary to those monsters? Get creative and depict some things/scenarios that would be terrifying to a typical Halloween creature! - This idea came from my friend, Jackie!
October 16: Those new horror-fied versions of fast food/cereal monsters from October 4 need weapons… take a meal or the cereal from the brand you got your mascot from, and create a weapon inspired by it!
October 17: There has been lots of theorizing in the fields of science on how the human body may evolve in order to either perform modern tasks better or survive… SO, imagine up a human evolution that has adapted to survive some environment (fire, spider bites, rejection), or one that has adapted to perform a certain task (tennis, gaming, folding clothes). - This idea comes from my friend, Joan!
October 18: So, Toy Story 5 has been announced… draw the next toy that’s gonna be introduced as a character in it.
October 19: Returning to an annual favorite of mine… take any character(s) from a piece of media and depict them in the style of a Tim Burton character.
October 20: As a play off of Dominic’s suggestion from an earlier day, take any western animation’s characters and depict them in the style of a foreign animation!
October 21: Taking inspiration from the movie, Hocus Pocus, take any character from a piece of media and depict them riding what *they* would probably bewitch into a broomstick if they had to in a pinch!
October 22: They’re giving your favorite background character a spin-off series. What does the poster for it look like? - This idea is from my friend, Dominic!
October 23: Ok… that monster/killer mascot you made on October 4th? The movie has to have a setting. Maybe an appropriate building? Maybe an entire town… Depict that setting…
October24: Take a character from your favorite movie/tv show and depict them as if they were a character in a fighting game like Smash Bros. or Street Fighter! What does their special/ultimate move look like? - This idea came from my friend, David!
October 25: Take any fun/special memory from your life and create a children’s book cover inspired by it. - This idea came from my friend, Stephanie!
October 26: Take your favorite classic Halloween monster and use them as inspiration for a new species of insect… - This idea came from my friend, Dahlia!
October 27: This feels like a classic for any time of year: take any favorite piece of media and cast the Sanders Sides in it.
October 28: [Any of your favorite pieces of media] … and Zombies
October 29: Think of a very important key object from one of your favorite movies or tv shows that the protagonist(s) finds. Now imagine they never stumbled upon it. What would it look like 100 years later? What else may have happened to it if the protagonist never found it? - This idea came from my friend, Chantz!
October 30: Now… we combine the ideas together to make the ultimate new Halloween villain! Take your creations from October 4th, 8th, 16th, and 23rd, and place them all together to create a scene of them terrorizing the main protagonists!
October 31: And, as a classic end-of-the-month tradition, today’s prompt is about celebrating the reason for the season, Halloween! Imagine if Halloween was like New Year’s Eve for Halloween creatures/characters. What would they look like, dressed all fancy for the occasion and celebrating?
Got the list fully completed! Looking forward to whatever you all create! 
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trashogram · 10 months ago
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He Chose You (Pt. 2)
Lucifer/Reader
Rated E for the smex coming next chapter I SWEAR. ((Also there will not be any non-con in this fic, so please don’t worry. You’ll see when you read.))
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 13.5 | Part 14 | End
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Tag Requests: @loslox, @for-hearthand-home, @navierkalani
‘The worst thing they could be are swingers.’
Your heart was racing, and you felt ridiculous for how uppity you felt at the prospect of having dinner with your two elderly neighbors. 
Normally, meeting new people would cause a healthy amount of anxiety in you. You’d grown up into a recluse and upholding social niceties took most of your energy. It was even worse to be in their home, and among people that you likely did not have much in common with. 
These were personal reassurances that you told yourself after denying the first invitation for dinner with the Farrows. The guilt you felt, paired with the subsequent relief of not having to spend more than five minutes with your chatty neighbor, stirred an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of your stomach. 
Of course you’d been unable to stop thinking about what a wretch you were, how karma was going to bite you on the ass for denying an old couple some company. 
And oh Karma did come back to bite you. Hard. 
You felt like you were hanging by a thread at work. Three weeks into the job and you’d already been reprimanded. Even the memory of your supervisor looking down her nose at you from the other side of her desk made your eyes water. 
“We have a ‘three strikes’ policy here. I’m afraid this will count as your first.”
Never having been fired from a job notwithstanding, you felt like the idiot your parents always purported you to be. 
If you’d have just stayed in your hometown, living off your parents’ good graces and kept your head down, instead of prancing out the door as if you had self-respect and no need for a safety net… 
Maybe things wouldn’t be so dire. 
Maybe you wouldn’t be on the verge of having a panic attack at this very moment, feeling the anxiety and restlessness from declining the previous invitation tenfold. 
With a deep breath in and out, you crossed the hall with the hesitance of a mouse approaching a snap-trap. You knocked on the door to Unit 606 with a shaking hand.
There was a moment left to blanch at the realization that you hadn’t brought anything with you. Like the shittiest, most thoughtless guest ever.
——
“You made it!” Mrs. Farrow held her arms out dramatically. “Come in! Come in! You’re right on time! Oh and you look lovely dear!”
“Thanks.” You felt heat rise to your cheeks as the door closed behind you. 
The layout of the apartment was a mirror image to yours, but you were overwhelmed by just how much stuff had taken up the space. From the kitchen to the living room, the apartment was brimming with kaleidoscopic color. Antique statuettes of unknown deities, handcrafted vases and sculptures in-set with gems and gold filigree, expertly framed posters of old Hollywood, and Persian rugs beneath well-worn furniture were visible from just a cursory glance. 
It distracted you from the unusually bitter, earthy smell that assaulted you upon entering. 
“Wow,” You said in genuine awe. “Your home is lovely.” 
“Aw, you’re too kind sweetheart. Too kind. Here, let me take your shawl - we’ll hang it up on the rack here, see.” She took your cardigan and placed it on an old hat stand before steering you out to the living room by the back of your shoulders.
There was a man sitting in a leather armchair adjacent to the couch. He was wearing a tweed jacket and his silver-blond hair had been combed back finely to show a pale, wrinkled face and eyes so dark they shone almost black in the lowlight. 
He looked at you with interest once you’d finally caught onto his presence, and opened his mouth to speak.
‘Quack!’ 
“Lou!” You laughed as the duck came racing over on its little legs. 
Without delay, the bird climbed onto your flats with an impatient flap of its wings, trying to balance while looking up at you adoringly. 
You couldn’t help but reach down and pat his little head, murmuring ‘hellos’ and ‘how you doing buddy?’ softly and sweetly. 
The man opposite you both smirked. “My wife was right. He’s quite taken with you.” 
“I’m always right!” Mrs. Farrow called out from the kitchen. 
You looked to the kitchen and back to, presumably, Mr. Farrow, an uncertain smile on your lips. 
“Welcome to our home.” The elder man’s voice was almost hypnotically deep. His hand was outstretched and waiting. “Please excuse me for not greeting you properly. When you get to be as old as I am, your body does everything it can to make you stay put in one place.” 
You shook your head. “Oh no, please don’t worry about it! I understand.” 
Mr. Farrow’s smirk seemed to soften as you spoke. 
“Please make yourself comfortable, my dear.” When he gestured to the couch, you awkwardly shuffled to sit down. Lou was right on your heels, loathe to spend even a second without your warmth. 
The duck ended up snuggled on your lap after begging to be lifted as you sank into the plush sofa. And you were grateful, hugging Lou to you gently as if he were a plush toy. 
It helped take your mind away from that spine-tingling feeling when it made a comeback — the way Mr. Farrow’s eyes glittered when he looked at you and his duck. 
‘Oh god, they probably are swingers. And they lure in their targets with this crazy well-trained duck.’ You thought, punching yourself in the face mentally. ‘And you fell for it. Walked right into their den of debauchery. You stupid bitch.’ 
“Here’s some water, honey. We’ll save the stronger stuff for dinner.” You jumped in your seat when Mrs. Farrow appeared at your side, setting a glass of ice water down on the end table beside you. 
You reached for the glass as its contents sloshed over the edge. “Thank you so much, Mrs. Farrow.” 
Mrs. Farrow beamed. 
“What did I tell ya, Warren? Isn’t she lovely? Just a peach. Lou is smitten.” She patted your shoulder. “And it’s Cassie, honey. Call me Cass.”
“You were right, Cass.” Warren Farrow intoned. 
He took on a conspiratorial tone as he addressed you once more. “You must know, my wife hasn’t stopped talking about you since you met the other day. I wondered if she was preparing us for a new roommate.” 
Heat flooded your face for the second time. “Aw.”
“Oh poo, as if you wouldn’a done the same.” Mrs. Farrow sniffed derisively. “Dinner in 5 minutes!”
Her exit left room for you to start a conversation, but you couldn’t find it in you to say anything. Mr. Farrow kept staring, smiling, which made you stroke Lou’s feathers for comfort that much more. 
The silence lasted a little while, save for the clinking, crackling, thudding from the kitchen dining room. Aside from catering to Lou, you surveyed your surroundings in an effort to avoid bouncing your legs.
The Farrows didn’t have a TV, only a large fireplace that they’d positioned their furniture around. There were displays on either side of the grate. On one stood an oversized chalice with intricate, swirling patterns. The other had a statuette of a goat-headed figure sitting crisscrossed on a throne, one arm poised to reach out to the sky.
“Baphomet.” 
You turned from the sight, head swiveling to face your human companion. He was eying you keenly again. 
“O-oh, the statue is…?”
Warren nodded. “Baphomet. Conceived as a false god around the time of the crusades. Most people see him as a depiction of Satan these days.” 
The association wasn’t too far-fetched, you figured with another look at the figure. Its goat-head and large horns were the most eye-catching thing about it. 
“I apologize if the sight upsets you, dear. I hadn’t thought to remove it before your arrival.” 
“Oh no, please. It’s alright.” You said. “It doesn’t bother me. It’s very interesting.” 
The rumbling hum at your side seemed to signal approval, or maybe general geniality with your neutral response. “Are you religious by chance?”
You turned to Warren again. 
“Ah, no.” You replied apologetically. “I grew up in a Christian area, but I was never very involved with the church.” 
Warren nodded. “That’s just as well. The institution and its practices can be stifling. I was never very involved with it myself.” 
“Religious artifacts have always been fascinating to me, however. There’s no shortage of temples and synagogues in this world.” 
“Have you been to many? For the history?” You were genuinely curious. 
The old man nodded again, stately and dignified even as he puffed up in his armchair like a peacock. “Cass and I are seasoned travelers. We’ve been to all 7 continents at least twice, seen the wonders of the world from the Hindu shrines in Malaysia to St. Basil’s Cathedral. I have a particular fondness for those countries surrounding the Mediterranean Sea. I was able to convince Cassie another trip to Rome wouldn’t put us in the poor house last year.” 
Your little huff of laughter was sincere, though the idea of traveling to Rome - or anyplace outside of the familiar - sounded amazing. “I’d love to be able to do that.” 
Warren’s head tilted to one side. “You’re quite young, I’m sure you’ll get the chance if you haven’t already.” 
“Sure.” You scoffed before immediately falling into contrition. “I’m sorry, that was rude of me —”
“Dinner time!”
Mrs. Farrow hollered from the kitchen, stopping you from trying to come up with a suitable excuse for yourself. 
Luckily, Mr. Farrow chuckled good-naturedly. He rose from his chair stiffly, legs visibly straining. “No need to apologize, my dear. But we best get going before the Missus comes out and drags us by our ears.”
——
All things considered, the dinner was perfectly fine. 
The jitters never left your frame, but you had chalked that up to a simple byproduct of your skittish nature. The red wine that Cass had insisted upon you made you feel warm and solid, at least. 
As did the fact that Cassie Farrow could hold entire conversations all on her own with very little effort or input from yourself. 
“You got a boyfriend, honey? Or girlfriend? No shame in that at all. We may be old but by no means bigoted. We’ve been all over the place, seen so many things - what’s natural to you and me could be the furthest from, in certain places. Isn’t that right, Warren?”
“Men in Ancient Greece often had relationships with other men.” Warren replied. “Royals in Europe had extramarital affairs with different sexes. It was all about keeping the bloodline pure, but romance was a different thing altogether.” 
“I haven’t dated in a while, actually.” You said. “It’s not been a priority.” 
Cassie nodded, exuberant as she drank from her wine glass. “That’s good too! Plenty of independent women these days! It’s about time, I say.” 
‘Quack quack’
Lou was beside you, red eyes locked in as he gazed upon you at the dining table. It made you giggle.
“Mm!” Cassie had a spastic moment. “I almost forgot!” 
The chair lurched out from under the old woman as she rose and scuttled out of the room. It left you blinking, and out of the corner of your eye you saw that same smirk on Warren’s face before his wife had returned. 
She had a small wicker basket in her arms. 
“This is for you, honey. Housewarming present from your kooky neighbors across the hall.” 
As she drew nearer, you caught a glimpse of the contents, some of which shone beneath the light of the overhead chandelier. 
“Thank you! You really didn’t have to.” The basket was pressed into your arms and Cassie was back in her seat before you’d finished your sentence. 
“Nonsense. It’s the least we could do. I still can’t believe no one welcomed you for a whole week!” 
The basket was lined with shredded filler, and nestled in between were little gemstones and crystals.
“There’s jade and ruby in there, and I believe there’s moonstone as well.” Mr. Farrow recalled. “Is that it, Cass?”
“Yes, yes, and carnelian too. It’s all scattered about there, with the Scrabble and the socks and the hand cream and oh!” Mrs. Farrow laughed. “Forgive us honey, we saw that little rubber duck and just had to get it for you.” 
There was a little rubber duck. It was a novelty type, with a tiny red jacket and a tiny black top hat. 
“It’s a carnival barker. No, it’s something like that. It’s on the tip of my tongue.” Your nose scrunched in thought. “Oh, a circus ringmaster!” 
“Exactly! See, what’d I tell you, Warren? She loves it!” 
“I believe I was the one who suggested it.” His voice carried through the otherwise silent dining room. 
“Oh well maybe it was, so what. She likes it. Don’t you, honey?”
“Yes, but…” You felt funny again. Tingly. “This is too much. Really. You’re both so kind but I can’t accept this.” 
A hand laid gently on your shoulder and you looked up at a frowning Warren Farrow. “It’s no trouble at all, my dear.” 
“The cost must’ve —”
“No cost, really. Gemstones and crystals are quite popular these days. You can find them all over. And the little trinkets are just the same. Given to you in good faith of course.” He patted your shoulder gently. 
You swallowed, eyes once again roving over the little mundane treasures. Silken feathers brushed against your ankle under the table and you met those red eyes, sparkling like the crystals in your basket. 
Lou was such a funny little thing. So expressive, he looked as if he were waiting as he stared at you. 
So funny. 
… You felt funny. 
Perhaps the anxiety from before was doubling back, just like that prickling sensation. It was less of a tingle and more a shiver or chill as you sat there. 
“I think it’s about time for dessert, don’t you?” Mrs. Farrow was saying somewhere far away. “You like chocolate, sweetheart? I made mousse, all fancy-like. It’s not as fancy as the kind you get at that restaurant downtown, the Ivy, but they’ve got fancy ingredients and such…” 
Reaching up to wipe the sheen of sweat from your forehead, you felt heat coming off from between your temples. With a shaky breath, you slumped down in your seat. 
The basket was gone. 
Your chair was scraping against the wooden floor as it was pulled out from the table. 
“Are you feeling alright, my dear?”
Wrinkled hands swept the hair from your face as your eyes rolled in their sockets. Words couldn’t get past the cotton-dry feeling in your throat. 
“It’s the wine, the wine. Said she’s not much of a drinker, it has to be the wine.” 
Cass’s voice was dampened and thick, like it was trapped underwater. 
Or perhaps you were trapped. Your head was spinning, limbs heavy as if you were a puppet sans strings. You had to be picked up from under your arms like a toddler and pulled upright. 
The next second you were walking through your neighbors’ kitchen, the door held open for you. 
“Maybe we oughta call a doctor? Honey, can you hear me?”
“I… yes. I can hear you.” It felt like an Olympic feat, but you spoke clearly. “I’m so sorry, I don’t know what’s happening.”
You stumbled against the wall and strong arms caught you when your knees buckled. It was Mr. Farrow allowing you to lean on him, solid as a rock. 
“Cass is right, you had quite a bit of wine.” He said. Another pat to your shoulder.
Did you? You could’ve sworn it was just a glass. 
Your apartment was barren and blank, the smell of laundry comforting against the memory of that earthy incense smell. 
“Get some rest, honey. We’re right across the hall.” 
“Thank you.” You breathed, lying on your sofa bed. “Again, I’m very sorry. Thank you for the welcome.” 
“Oh no, thank you.” 
——
When you opened your eyes next, you were shrouded in darkness. The outline of your entertainment system was in front of you, and the kitchen at your right. 
It was raining outside; little raindrops smattering against the glass. The sound was normal, no longer muffled until you were straining to hear it. 
‘Well that’s good.’ 
The heavy feeling in your arms was still present. 
‘That’s not so good.’
You felt perfectly sane and hysterical at the same time. It was like being caught in the eye of a storm. The danger had abated momentarily, but would begin again shortly. 
Your door opened, and in your peripheral you saw a shadow cut across the wall as a new figure emerged from the hall. 
You squinted in the dark. ‘Lou?’ 
The duck’s silhouette stilled as if you’d spoken aloud. You could feel something shift in the air, tension breaking through to your mind when it could not seize your body. 
That shift grew stronger, sucking in the air around it until a dazzling flash and crack of light blinded you. 
Lou’s shadow was gone. Or… it had changed. The shadow on the wall wasn’t a duck anymore it was… 
Your blood ran cold as the man stepped into your apartment and let the door close behind him. 
“Hello there!”
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snowysosturn · 3 months ago
Text
Speeding Car - Matt Sturniolo Part 19
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Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29
Pairing : y/n x Matt Sturniolo
Summary : After six years with your boyfriend Alex, you start to mentally check out. At a UCLA party, Alex reconnects with his childhood friend Emily, who proposes a double date with her boyfriend Matt. Your attraction to Matt grows as he pays you the first real attention you've had in years, sparking a complicated emotional journey.
Warnings : MDNI, angst, fluff, tension, guilt, swearing, betrayal, confrontation
Matt's POV
Sitting alone on the couch, I ran my hands through my hair, trying to make sense of everything. Y/n had gone off to my room a couple of hours ago, completely drained from all the crying she’d done. I couldn’t blame her, the weight of what she’d just unloaded was enough to break anyone. But now, with the silence of the room hitting me, I was left alone with my thoughts. And they were spinning out of control.
The betrayal, the realization that Emily had been cheating on me, hit me like a punch to the gut. It was like I was suddenly seeing everything with a new set of eyes, and the truth was uglier than I could’ve imagined. She’d been using me and manipulating me, all while I’d been trying to keep our relationship together. And with Alex? That was the part that really stung.
A bitter laugh escaped my lips. How did I not see this coming? All those times Emily had been so insistent on knowing where I was, who I was with, what I was doing - she’d been projecting her own guilt onto me and being honest all it did was push me away. I thought she was just insecure, maybe a little paranoid, but now I knew better. She wasn’t worried about me cheating. She was terrified I’d catch on to her own bullshit.
And Y/n.. She didn’t deserve any of this. She’d been so good to Alex, always supportive, always there for him. The fact that he’d betray her like that, with Emily of all people, it made me sick. But even more than that, I was angry at myself. I’d known something was off for a while, but I’d let Emily manipulate me, let her drive a wedge between me and Y/n when she was the only person who actually understood what I was going through.
My mind flashed back to the day we went skating. The way Y/n’s eyes lit up when she was on the ice, how she’d laughed so freely, how she’d looked at me with a kind of warmth I hadn’t felt in a long time. That day, something had shifted for me. I knew, in my gut, that things were over between me and Emily. But I’d been too much of a coward to face it, to really think about what that meant. 
And now? To now know everything Y/n found out that day, gave me a new perspective on everything. Now, it was too late to pretend everything was okay. The truth was out in the open, and there was no going back.
I glanced toward my room, where Y/n was asleep. She had no idea how much she meant to me, how much I cared about her.. how much I was starting to fall for her. But I couldn’t help feeling guilty. We’d crossed a line. Sure, we were both in these fucked up relationships, but that didn’t make what we did right.
Or did it?
Alex had betrayed her. Emily had betrayed me. Did that mean we had a free pass to do the same? Part of me wanted to justify it that way, but deep down, I knew it wasn’t that simple. What Y/n and I have, whatever it is, felt real. It wasn’t just a reaction to being cheated on. It was something that had been building for a long time, even if neither of us wanted to admit it.
But where did that leave us now?
Emily didn’t know that I knew. Alex didn’t know that Y/n knew. We were sitting on this massive secret, and sooner or later, it was all going to blow up. I just wasn’t sure how to handle it. Should I confront Emily? Break things off before she could try to worm her way out of it? Or should I let it ride until she and Alex got back, confront them both at the same time? But they were my own thoughts, I knew I had to respect the way Y/n wanted to go about it too.
I stood up and started pacing, the silence of the room amplifying the chaos in my head. I’d been in tough situations before, but jesus, nothing this messy.
One thing was clear. I couldn’t keep pretending. Not to Emily, not to myself, and definitely not to Y/n. She deserved better than that. We both did.
The thought of losing Y/n, of her thinking that everything we’d shared over the last week meant nothing, was unbearable. I needed to be honest with her, but I also needed to protect her from more pain. I didn’t want to rush into something just because we were both hurting, but I also couldn’t deny what I felt for her.
My heart raced as I tried to make sense of it all, knowing that whatever decision I made, it was going to change everything. One way or another, the next few days were going to bring things to a head, and I had to be ready for it.
I just hoped Y/n would still be by my side when it was all over.
I opened the door to my room quietly, the soft creak of the hinges barely audible in the stillness of the night. Y/n was sprawled on the bed, cuddled up to Mr. Wrinkleton, my old stuffed animal that sits on top of my bed. The sight was almost too peaceful, and for a moment, I was tempted to slip under the covers next to her, just to hold her and forget about the chaos waiting for us. But then I heard the front door opening and the muffled voices of Nick and Chris coming through.
I sighed and stepped out of the room, closing the door softly behind me. Nick and Chris were coming in from Tara’s party, and I needed to make them aware of my nights events without giving away too much.
“Hey, Matt!” Nick called out, his voice a bit louder than necessary, probably from a few drinks. “What did you and Y/n get up to?”
I cleared my throat, trying to keep my tone casual. “Ssh ssh..” I gestured. “We just chilled out. Y/n got a bit emotional during the night, so she went for a lie down in my room. She’s still asleep, so let’s keep it quiet.”
Nick nodded, but I could see the concern in his eyes. “I hope she breaks up with that piece of shit when he gets back tomorrow night” he said, his voice dripping with venom out of pure backing for his friend.
I felt a bit of awkwardness at his words. The weight of everything I’d learned about Alex and Emily was still heavy on my shoulders. How could I answer that? I had to be careful, especially with everything I knew now. I settled for a neutral response. “Yeah, I hope so too. I know she’ll be fine. She’ll find someone who’ll treat her right, I know it for sure.”
Chris, who had been listening quietly, offered a supportive smile. “If Y/n is still sleeping, you can crash in my room tonight.”
I hadn’t even considered sleeping elsewhere, as much as I wanted to sleep beside Y/n, I knew I couldn’t. I agreed with a grateful nod. “Thanks, Chris. I’ll be down in a bit.”
Nick and Chris went off to their respective rooms, and I walked back to mine. I glanced at the closed door, my mind full of conflicting emotions. I crossed the room and gently pulled the blanket up over Y/n, tucking her in to make sure she was comfortable. I leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her forehead, my heart aching with the desire to make everything right for her.
With one last look at her peaceful face, I left the room and headed for Chris’s room. As I settled into the bed, my mind was a whirl of thoughts, about Y/n, about Alex and Emily, about what the next few days would bring. Tonight had been a whirlwind, and as I lay there in the dark, I couldn’t shake the feeling that everything was about to change.
Y/n's POV
I woke up feeling slightly disoriented. I blinked at the unfamiliar surroundings, only to remember that I was in Matt’s room. I was still in my work clothes from yesterday, and as I looked around, I noticed that Matt wasn’t there. The other side of the bed was untouched, and disappointment hit me. I had hoped he’d be there, but I understood why he wasn’t.
I stretched and rubbed my eyes, feeling the remnants of last nights emotional rollercoaster. I decided to get up and grab some water, feeling dehydrated from all of last nights crying. As I stepped out of the room, I noticed that the kitchen was already occupied.
I reached the kitchen, I was greeted by the sight of Chris, who was shockingly cooking breakfast. “Six little mini sausages in the paaaan” he sang out in a strained voice, completely absorbed in his culinary performance. Chris’s antics never failed to make me smile, no matter how exhausted I was. 
“How was your night last night Chris?” I asked.
“It was great, but the whole internet is dying to know why Matt wasn’t at Tara Yummy’s party.” Chris joked.
Matt was at the counter, I laughed as I looked at him. Our eyes meeting, I felt a rush of relief. His gaze softened as he took in my disheveled appearance. “Hey” he said, his voice warm and inviting. “How are you feeling this morning?”
I gave him a small, grateful smile. “Better. Thanks for letting me sleep here.”
He nodded and motioned for me to take a seat at the kitchen table. “No problem. Just sit down and relax. I’ll sort out breakfast once Chris finally decides to stop playing with his sausages.”
Chris looked up from his cooking with a grin. “Oh, come on, you know this is the most important part of breakfast!”
Matt rolled his eyes, but his expression was full of amusement. “Sure, sure. Just don’t set off the smoke alarm again.”
I chuckled softly and took a seat, watching the scene unfold. It was oddly comforting to see Matt and Chris interacting so casually. The chaos of the past few days seemed to fade away for a moment, replaced by the normality of their morning routine.
Matt joined me at the table, his eyes still holding that tender concern. “I’m glad you’re here” he said quietly, we knew Chris couldn’t hear a thing as he now had his headphones on. I could hear the faint sound of Ken Carson in the distance. “I didn’t want you to be alone last night.”
I felt a warm flutter in my chest at his words. “I appreciate that. Last night was.. intense. I didn’t expect to end up staying here, but I’m grateful I did.”
Matt gave me a reassuring smile. “Well, you’re welcome anytime. And for what it’s worth, I’m glad we had that talk. I know things are messy right now, but I think we’re heading in the right direction.” 
Before I could respond, Chris clattered his pan onto the stove and turned around with a triumphant grin, removing one side of his headphones. “My breakfast is served ohhhh yeaaah.” he announced, holding up a plate of what looked like a decent breakfast of some sort.
Matt and I laughed as Chris took his plate off the counter, giving us a casual wave before he headed downstairs to eat in his room. The kitchen was now just Matt and me, and I felt a sense of calm as Matt moved around, preparing breakfast.
“What would you like for breakfast?” Matt asked, a hint of playfulness in his voice. “Pancakes, waffles, french toast?”
I didn’t have to think twice. “Pancakes, please. They’re my favourite.”
Matt smiled and began to get everything ready. As he started mixing the batter, he glanced over at me, his mood slightly shifting, “I have to go pick up Emily and Alex from the airport later.”
The mention of Alex and Emily reminded me of the awkwardness and tension I had been trying to push to the back of my mind. I wasn’t sure how to handle the situation. 
Matt’s voice pulled me back from my thoughts. “Do you want to come with me? Or do you think that would just cause more issues?”
I hesitated, unsure of what to say. The idea of all four of us in the car, with Matt and I aware of the truth while Alex and Emily remained clueless, felt almost unbearable. The thought of facing Alex and Emily with Matt by my side overwhelmed me. It might be best to take some time for myself, to clear my head and prepare mentally for everything that was about to happen.
“I think it might be best if I stay home,” I said slowly. “I have work in a couple of hours anyway, so I should head back home after breakfast, I’ll need a new set of work clothes since I slept in these last night.”
Matt nodded, understanding. “Thats understandable, but I’ll bring you to work if you like? You can change into some of my clothes if you want, and I’ll throw your work clothes in the wash while you eat your breakfast.”
I appreciated his thoughtfulness. “Thanks, Matt. That would be really helpful.”
After changing into Matt’s clothes while he cooked, we chatted casually about the upcoming day. He did his best to keep the conversation light, focusing on everything but the looming confrontation with Alex and Emily. It was clear he was trying to ease my nerves, and I was grateful for it.
When breakfast was ready, Matt served me a stack of fluffy pancakes with a generous helping of syrup. We ate together, the conversation flowing easily.
The drive to workt was quiet but comfortable. Matt's presence was soothing, a reminder that even though things were complicated, I wasn’t alone.
When we arrived at Target, I thanked Matt for his kindness and for making the morning a little easier. He told me he’d update me when he collect Alex and Emily later to keep me in the loop.
I walked into work and checked the planner for the day, shocked to see that today I was on checkouts. It had been a while since I had last been on them but the interactions with customers kept me occupied, providing a welcome distraction from the storm brewing in my personal life. Each scan of an item, every exchange of pleasantries, was a momentary escape from the anxious thoughts about the confrontation with Alex that awaited me later.
During a brief lull in customer activity, I decided to tackle the mess that was my hair. I had a hair tie on my wrist, so I fumbled with my fingers to claw my hair back into something presentable. The process wasn’t as smooth as I’d hoped. As I tried to gather my hair, I felt my fleece catch in one of my hoop earrings, the wool snagging on the tiny faux diamonds. The earrings were a bargain, just $8 on Amazon for a pack of six. I used up all six earrings, to fill the three lobe piercings in each ear. 
Despite my efforts, my hair remained a hot mess, mirroring the mess I felt inside. It was one of those days where the internal chaos seemed to transfer over to the external one. It wasn’t just the hair, it was everything. The uncertainty of the upcoming confrontation, the strain of keeping up appearances, and the raw emotions that I had been trying to keep at bay.
I took a deep breath and tried to push those thoughts aside, focusing on the tasks at hand. The time at work passed in a blur of customer interactions and routine tasks, each beep of the register was a step closer to the evening. All I could do was try to stay grounded, deal with the present, and prepare myself for whatever came next.
I arrived home just after 7pm, a half an hour before Alex and Emilys flight was due to land, giving me just enough time to take a quick shower. The warm water helped to ease the tension in my muscles, but it couldn’t wash away the anxiety chipping away at my insides. I knew I had to face him soon, so I wanted to look presentable, to feel like I had some control over the situation, so I focused on the small things like washing my hair.
When I stepped out of the shower, I felt a little lighter. I wrapped a towel around myself and approached the mirror, brushing my wet hair. That’s when I noticed it, one of my hoop earrings was missing. The first lobe piercing on my right ear was bare, the hoop lost somewhere during the day. I must have lost it at work, probably when my fleece snagged on it earlier.
I stared at the empty space where the earring used to be, feeling an odd sense of loss. It was just a cheap earring, easily replaceable, but in that moment, it felt like more. I almost related to that missing earring - lost, unsure of where I belonged, not knowing where or when I would find myself again. The earring was a small thing, but it symbolized the uncertainty I felt about everything in my life right now.
But I knew I couldn’t dwell on it. The whole situation. I had to focus on the positives, on what could come from all of this. Moving forward with Matt was a real possibility, a chance for something good to come out of the mess that Alex and Emily had created. I needed to remind myself of that, to hold onto the hope that this confrontation would lead to a new beginning, not just an ending.
As I finished getting dressed, my phone buzzed with a message from Matt.
They just landed. I’m sitting outside arrivals waiting for them.  I’ll try to text again when they’re at the car.
I stared at the message for a moment, feeling a mix of anticipation and nerves. Matt was out there, waiting for them, and soon they’d all be in the car together, blissfully unaware of what was coming. Or at least, Alex and Emily would be. Matt and I were on the same page now, united in the truth that we both knew but hadn’t yet confronted.
Taking a deep breath, I put my phone down and focused on getting ready. I couldn’t control what was going to happen next, but I could control how I faced it. I needed to be strong.
At 8pm , I found myself perched at the front window, my heart racing with anticipation. I needed to be ready, to hear when cars pulled in and out of the complex. I wasn't entirely sure how I was going to handle this confrontation, but I knew one thing. I wasn't going to mention Matt. That part of my life, our connection, needed to stay out of this conversation. It was too personal, too raw, and it wasn’t time for that yet.
A few minutes passed, and then I heard a car pulling into the complex. My breath hitched as I carefully pulled back the corner of the window blinds, just enough to get a glimpse outside. Matt's car sat there, idling quietly. My stomach twisted in knots as I watched Alex slide open the back door. The sight of him, sitting in the same spot I had occupied just a few nights ago when everyone went to Top Golf, felt painfully ironic.
Emily's voice rang out as she hopped out of the passenger seat, her tone light and cheerful as she ran around the back to help Alex with his luggage. She threw her arms around him in a quick hug once he had retrieved his cases from the boot.. My chest tightened at the sight, a part of me wondering what Matt was thinking seeing this, knowing everything we did now.
I hoped he felt the same way I did, that this display of affection between Alex and Emily was as jarring for him as it was for me. They said their goodbyes, their voices low but friendly, and then Alex started making his way up the stairs to our apartment, his cases in hand.
I quickly released the blind, making sure I wasn't seen. My heart pounded in my chest as I took a step back, my mind racing with everything that was about to happen. This was the moment. The moment that everything was going to change. There was no turning back now.
I could hear the faint clink of his keys as he unlocked the door, and I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. The air felt thick with tension, the weight of the truth pressing down on me.
It was time to finally put an end to the lies, the deception, the charade we'd been living. And in doing so, I would set the course for whatever came next, whether that was with Matt or on my own.
The door swung open, and Alex stepped inside, looking tired from the flight but otherwise as composed as ever. His eyes met mine, and for a split second, it was like nothing had changed. But I knew better. I knew that this was the beginning of the end.
I stood up as Alex dropped his bags and made his way toward me.
"Hey baby, I missed you" he said, his voice casual, giving off a warm welcome as he pulled me into a hug and lifted me off the ground.
I forced a smile, every muscle in my body tense, bracing for what was to come. "Hey," I replied, my voice steady despite the storm brewing inside me. "We need to talk."
Alex set me down, his face shifting from casual to concerned. "Is everything okay?" he asked, his eyes searching mine.
"No.." I responded, my tone unwavering. "You might want to sit."
The shock on Alex's face was undeniable. I could almost see the gears turning in his head, wondering if he should come clean about something or if this was about something entirely different. We both sat down, the tension in the room thick enough to cut with a knife. I took the armchair, while Alex sat on the two seater sofa, staring at me from across the room.
"The board of management emailed." I began, my voice stern. "I thought it would be best to tell you in person."
Alex's eyes widened in alarm. "What did they say?"
"They’ve suspended you for six weeks.” I said, watching his reaction closely. "And your captaincy has been revoked. Permanently."
"What?!" Alex exploded, his voice filled with disbelief and anger. "It was a stupid fight! I didn’t even start it.. i-it didn’t have anything to do with me! It didn’t even happen on campus grounds, and they’re going this extreme with it?!"
Alex was distraught, but not distraught enough.
"I got to speak to the board myself.." I added, bluffing to see how he'd react. "When they greeted me, they greeted me as Emily. Emily, Alex Jenkins' girlfriend."
I could see the color drain from his face as he struggled to find the words. He was cornered, and he knew it. It may have taken a few lies to get there, but it’s what I needed to do.
"Emily was out the night the fight happened, t-there’s obviously a mix up," he stammered, trying to cling to any thread of denial he could find. "I swear, that’s all it is."
But his voice trailed off, his earlier anger shifting to a frantic desperation to justify why this punishment was unfair, to shift the blame anywhere but where it belonged.
I took a deep breath, steadying myself before continuing. "Emily was with you that night, yes you're right. But are you sure the fight wasn’t because you two were.. holding hands? Because your teammates didn’t like that you were cheating on your girlfriend?"
The accusation hung in the air, heavy and damning. Alex flinched as if the words themselves had physically struck him. His face paled, and his eyes darted away from mine, desperately searching for an escape.
"I-I.. don’t know what you’re talking about" he stuttered again. He sounded defeated, his lies crumbling around him.
"Don’t lie to me, Alex." I said, my tone sharp. "I’m not stupid. I know what happened, and so do you. Your teammates saw it. They saw you with Emily, and that’s why they confronted you."
He shook his head, running a hand through his hair, his composure slipping further with each passing second. "It wasn’t like that.. They.. they misunderstood."
"Did they?" I shot back, my anger flaring. "Or are you just trying to convince yourself that what you did wasn’t as bad as it really was?"
Alex had no answer. He sat there, staring at the floor, not able to maintain eye contact with me as his hands clenched into fists on his knees. The room felt suffocating, the truth finally laid bare between us.
His face turned a shade paler, the blood draining from it as my words sank in. He opened his mouth as if to speak, but no words came out. The silence that followed was deafening, the truth hanging heavily between us.
I took a deep breath, my voice cold as I continued. "When you were gone I decided to clean a few things around the apartment." I said, forcing myself to stay composed. "You know, to keep myself busy.. And guess what I found? The condoms we bought last year together. The unopened ones. Unopened because we haven't fucked in over a year."
I watched his expression shift from confusion to horror as he realized where this was going.
"Yeah Alex, I found them." I said, my voice hardening. "Except they weren’t unopened anymore.  Would you like to tell me why they were opened? Why would a box of condoms we never used, would suddenly be missing some?"
Alex’s hands were trembling, his eyes wide as he looked at me, desperately searching for something to say, some excuse to get himself out of this. But there was nothing. He was caught, and we both knew it.
"It’s not what you think" he finally managed to choke out, but even he didn’t sound convinced.
"Then what is it?" I demanded, my anger boiling over. "Because from where I’m standing, it looks like you’ve been fucking around behind my back and now you’ve been found out.”
Alex's eyes darted around the room, his mind clearly racing for a way out, but there was no escape. The truth was laid bare, and no amount of backtracking could undo the damage he’d done.
"You don’t understand.." he whispered, his voice hoarse. "It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. It was a mistake. A mistake Y/n I promise."
I laughed bitterly, shaking my head. "A mistake? A mistake is hitting the curb and getting a flat tire. A mistake is forgetting you have plans. But what you did, Alex? That’s a choice. A deliberate choice to betray me. And now you have to live with that choice."
He sat there, defeated, his shoulders slumped as the weight of his actions finally seemed to hit him. For a moment, I almost felt sorry for him, seeing him so broken, but then I remembered the lies, the betrayal, the hurt.
And any sympathy I might have felt disappeared.
"I took care of you for those four weeks." I continued, my voice trembling with a mixture of rage and betrayal. "I was there for you every single day, doing everything for you. And all that time, you let me believe you were the victim, that you were just unlucky to be in that position."
His head dropped, eyes fixed on the floor, unable to meet my gaze.
"But you weren’t unlucky, Alex," I spat, my anger bubbling over. "You were in that position because of the consequences of your own actions. You got yourself into that mess, and you let me clean it up for you. How could you stand there and lie to my face every day while I bent over backward for you?"
"I didn’t want to hurt you.. I can't believe I done that to you." he mumbled, his voice barely audible, as if that could excuse what he had done.
"You didn’t want to hurt me?" I repeated, incredulous. "Well, guess what? You did. You hurt me more than you could ever imagine. And not just because of what you did with Emily, but because you let me carry the weight of your lies, all while pretending to be someone you’re not."
Alex’s silence was deafening, his guilt hanging in the air like a thick fog. He had no defense, no excuse that could undo the pain he’d caused.
He finally looked up, his eyes filled with regret, but it was too little, too late. The damage was done, and there was no going back.
"I’m sorry" he whispered, but the words felt hollow, empty. They didn’t change anything.
"Sorry doesn’t fix this. It never will." I said quietly, my anger giving way to exhaustion. 
"I want you out of this apartment right now." I said, my voice cold and unwavering. "I pay for this place, so you have no say. Get your shit and leave."
Alex stared at me, his mouth slightly open “Where do you expect me to go?” He said, as if I’m meant to feel pity for him. 
“I couldn’t give a fuck Alex, maybe Emily might let you stay with her.” I said abruptly. The shock of the situation was starting to settle in when he realized there was no room for negotiation.
"And, I’ll be needing your car key." I continued, holding out my hand. "It’s now back under my name. You do not have access to anything I was providing before."
His eyes widened, but I didn’t flinch. He slowly reached into his pocket, pulling out the car key, and placed it in my hand. The weight of it felt like a final seal on everything I was reclaiming. My space, my dignity, my independence.
Alex walked into our former shared bedroom to gather his things, stuffing clothes and personal items into his bag. The silence between us was heavy, but I didn’t let it get to me. I was done letting him walk all over me. I was done letting him take advantage of my kindness.
When he finally came back out, bags in hand, he looked at me, his eyes filled with something resembling regret. But it was too late for that. He had made his choices, and now he had to face the consequences.
Without another word, he walked to the door. As it opened, he paused, as if waiting for me to say something, to stop him. But I stayed silent, my expression hard, until he stepped outside and the door clicked shut behind him.
I stood there for a moment, letting the reality of the situation sink in. It was done. He was gone, and I was finally free.
Matt’s POV
I pulled out of LAX and the car ride felt like I was walking on a tightrope. Alex sat in the back seat, his face unreadable, while Emily, who was sat beside me, kept glancing at her phone. The silence was palpable, and every passing minute seemed to stretch out like an eternity.
When we finally stopped in front of Y/n’s building, I saw Alex’s shoulders slump as he prepared to get out. Emily hopped out of the passenger seat to run around and give Alex a hug. The way she interacted with him was so weird to see now knowing everything I do. It made me wish Y/n could see it too, knowing we’d have the same thought process.
As Emily slid back into the passenger seat, the weight of what I was about to confront hit me hard. I started the engine, and we set off towards my place. Nick and Chris were home, but at this stage, I couldn’t give a fuck if they overheard what was about to go down. This was more important than any of their opinions or any sort of eavesdropping.
The drive was excruciatingly quiet. Emily seemed lost in her own world, staring out the window, maybe the jet lag getting to her, but it was almost like I could almost see her mind working, trying to piece together her next move. When we finally reached my place, I barely registered the usual small talk. I just needed to get this over with.
I let Emily use the bathroom and told her to put her cases in my room before we had any sort of conversation. The silence of the house rang loud. I sank into the couch in the living room, ironically the same spot I sat in when Y/n unveiled all that had transpired between Emily and Alex. I tried to collect my thoughts but the room spun with the weight of the truth I was about to unveil.
Before I could formulate a plan or even begin to think about how to confront Emily, I heard the door to my room burst open. Emily stormed out, holding something up in her hand. Her face was flushed with anger and confusion.
"Matt, whos earring is this in your bed?"
a/n: two parts in a few hours.... you'll have to wait a day or two for the next chapter to let people catch up...
a/n 2 : also sorry can we talk about how the reader stood on BUSINESS with alex
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elizabethsnuts · 2 months ago
Note
hii! regarding your toddler requests, could you maybe write Emily Prentiss teaching her daughter how to walk? 🥹
Baby Steps
Emily Prentiss x Daughter!Reader
Summary: Emily had been trying to teach you how to walk, even if you much preferred to crawl.
———
You weren’t exactly the most eager to walk, you preferred to scurry around on your tiny hands and knees. Though Emily was always trying to get you to walk, holding up your favourite toys, snacks, anything she could think of she tried.
“Come on N/N, come to Mama! Come on! Walk to Mama!” Emily cooed to you as she crouched with her arms out, standing a few feet away.
You stared at Emily and giggled, falling from your standing position to your hands and knees. You quickly crawled over to Emily with a big smile on your cute little face.
Emily let out a lighthearted groan, smiling. She picked you up under your arms and kissed your cheek. “No! Y/N you’re supposed to walk, not crawl! You’re so silly!”
You just giggled and cuddled Emily, waving around your blankie. You just didn’t want to walk, why try and balance on your two tiny wobbly legs when you could just go so much faster crawling?
“Are you going to walk at all? Ever? I bet you find this funny, so funny watching Mama try to get you to walk.” Emily smirked and stood you up on your feet.
“Mama.” You clapped your hands and smiled, looking up at Emily.
Emily just chuckled and set you down. “Yes, yes, yes. I guess you’ll walk when you want to, or maybe you can and just enjoy watching me struggle.”
———
A couple of days later, JJ and Henry came over, you love playing with Henry and seeing your aunty JJ. Emily and JJ were in the kitchen, just talking and keeping an eye on you and Henry who were in the living room.
“How old was Henry when he started walking?” Emily looked at JJ curiously, taking a sip of her coffee.
“I think he was 12 or 13 months? He was an eager walker.” JJ smiled and leaned against the counter.
Emily sighed and rubbed her forehead. “Y/N still isn’t walking yet! I’m getting worried, I just don’t want her to fall behind.”
JJ gave Emily a sympathetic smile. “Don’t stress about it, Em. She’ll walk when she’s ready, most babies start walking between 12-15 months. She’s fine, some babies just like crawling anyway.” JJ chuckled.
Emily gave her best friend a small smile and chuckled. “I guess so, I do hope she starts walking soon though, even if that means extra baby-proofing.”
You quickly came crawling into the kitchen, giggling loudly. Emily laughed and picked you up, setting you on her hip. “Speak of the devil! What are you up to, little miss? Walking any time soon?”
You just grinned and giggled, patting Emily’s cheek. You gave JJ a wave and blew her a kiss. Henry came into the kitchen as well with his toy truck, waving it around.
Emily and JJ’s phone suddenly rang in their pockets, making them groan a little knowing it was probably another case. Emily sighed and pulled her phone out of her pocket. “I’ll call Elle, see if she can watch them.”
JJ nodded and picked up Henry. “That’d be good, I would call Will but he’s at work.” JJ turned to Henry and smiled. “You want to stay with Aunty Elle and Y/N?”
Elle eventually arrived, JJ and Emily grabbing their go bags and getting ready to say goodbye. Emily came over to you and kissed your cheek, hugging you. “Bye-bye, sweet girl. Mama will be home soon, I love you so much.”
You watched Emily start to walk away, you let out a cry and reached your tiny hand out to Emily. “Mama!”
Emily sighed and gave you another wave goodbye, still walking towards the front door. “I know, sweetheart, but Mama has to go. You’ll have fun with Aunty Elle!”
You kept crying, grabbing the side of the couch to pull yourself up to stand. You took your first shaky and wobbly steps over to Emily, reaching your tiny arms out. “Mama!”
Emily gasped and dropped her go-bag, holding her arms out to catch you. “Y/N, baby, you’re walking! You’re walking! Come to Mama!”
“Mama!” You sniffled and kept taking tiny steps over to Emily, stumbling slightly.
Emily caught you and lifted you into her arms, hugging you tightly. “Oh, Y/N! You did it! You did it, gorgeous girl! You’re walking! Good girl, you’re so smart, you did it! You finally walked for Mama!”
You hugged Emily tightly, you didn’t care about the milestone you had just achieved, you didn’t want your mama to leave. “Mama.”
Emily nodded and kissed your cheek, stroking your hair. “I know baby, Mama will just stay for a little bit longer. I love you so much.”
Even if it meant Emily was late, she would still rather stay with you. Even if you drove her crazy sometimes, you were still her little girl who had just taken your first steps.
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smusherina · 7 months ago
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yard work - chapter 14 (regina george x reader)
fandom: Mean Girls (all media)
pairing: Regina George x OFC/Reader
summary: You'd been in the same class as Regina George since kindergarten. You'd lived on the same street even longer. Once upon a time, when life was sandbox disputes and who got the swing first arguments, you'd even been friends. Now, in junior year of high school, you doubted she even remembered you. The same couldn't be said about you. You definitely remembered her.
chapter 1 / chapter 2 / chapter 3 / chapter 4 / chapter 5 / chapter 6 / chapter 7 / chapter 8 / chapter 9 / chapter 10 / chapter 11 / chapter 12 / chapter 13 / chapter 15
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You told Mrs George (or was it Ms George now? Too soon?) that you'd drive yourself to the school. Under no circumstance did you want to sit in close quarters to Regina. Besides, you knew she'd have to be there significantly earlier because she was performing. If the thought of being near Regina made you uncomfortable, that of being in that building made your skin crawl.
Why you were even bothering to go was beyond you. You'd been made into a laughing stock, a subject for people to talk about and twist around for the rest of the break. There was no PR response you could concoct to fix this, because for one, there was no time, and secondly nobody would want to hear it.
Maybe this wouldn't ruin your entire fucking life. Maybe you'd get over it eventually. Maybe it would all turn out fine. But it didn't feel like that. You could understand Regina more now, could see more clearly what she'd been talking about when she went on that rant.
Thinking all your problems would dissolve once you were old enough was stupid. That could only be applied to something vain, like pimples and pit stains and body odour. But issues like Regina's, utter self-hatred weaponized against society and everybody around her, and yours, chronic doormat syndrome with a side of people pleaser, could not just resolve. One could not pray the gay away, could not sweep it all under the rug.
You looked at the chicken sandwich in your hand. Mrs George had made some for lunch earlier and you'd swung by after the grocery trip to get you one. Then, she'd driven back to yours, helped you pack it all away, and made a weekly meal plan with you while you ate. It'd been nice. And the chicken sandwich was divine.
Your tummy was already full, but you didn't want to stop eating. You almost never got to really stuff yourself. The feeling of it was luxurious, though painful.
You put off going for as long as you could. You left at just the last minute, cutting it dangerously close. Didn't bother changing your clothes or anything. A hoodie and jeans, your usual jacket and scarf. By the time you arrived on the scene, the parking lot was pretty much deserted. You hustled to the gym where the thing was set up and easily found Mrs George and Kylie.
"C'mon, it's- it's- it's almost starting!" Kylie hissed at you, patting the seat next to her.
"Okay okay!" You whisper shouted back, mustering a little excitement for the little girl's sake.
Most of the performances were utterly dull. To be fair, the talent show was also an opportunity to get extra credit for some classes. Several people from your Spanish class took the stage. There was poetry and a couple songs, all mediocre at best. A pair performed a salsa number, which was surprising on two accounts. One, they were both dudes and two, they were good.
After Damien's dramatic rendition of Christina Aguilera's Beautiful, it was time for The Plastics to take the stage. Karen, Gretchen, and Cady were slowly revealed by the curtain. Cady stood front and centre, Gretchen to her left and Karen to the right.
Unlike many of the other dance performances of the night, the highlight was certainly not the choreography. The wow factor was hinged on the simple fact that it was them, specifically these girls, in latex, borderline slutty Santa costumes doing a provocative dance. The audience was not thrilled, the adults' reactions ranging from mildly uncomfortable to downright scandalized, while the other high schoolers looked on in either lust or disappointment that the act was missing the thing that had made it interesting in the first place.
Regina George had been the main attraction. Without her, without her effortless stage presence making the dance seem interesting, it was actually pretty embarrassing.
You had to look away when they started doing stunts. Karen went to the floor on all fours crab walk style, while Gretchen positioned herself behind her, and Cady geared up to- you couldn't watch. Suddenly, the music cut out and a heavy thump accompanied by someone's breath wooshing out of their lungs echoed through the gymnasium.
Kylie covered her mouth in a valiant effort not to laugh. You bumped your shoulder into hers. She bumped back. Mrs George had gasped and almost surged out of her seat. A beat of silence. Then, like water rippling, laughter began to bubble out of people.
You still couldn't watch. You could hear heels clicking on stage, groaning, and some frantic whispering. Kylie had tears in her eyes and her whole body was shaking.
"What's happening?" You whispered to her.
"Cady... She... Belly flopped the stage." She managed to get out before bursting into giggles.
"What? Is she, like, okay?"
"She's getting up. The principle's getting on stage." Kylie reported while you kept your eyes firmly on your lap. "He's gonna say something, oh, Gretchen's taking the mic-"
You had to look up when you heard your full name being spoken into the microphone, but regretted it as soon as Gretchen finished the sentence:
"-is a lesbian!" Quiet. Again.
You looked down so fast your neck cracked. Through the tinnitus in your ears, you could vaguely hear the principal admonishing Gretchen, the murmurs in the hall, their heels clicking off stage.
Why was Gretchen of all people announcing your sexuality at the talent show? What did she have to do with any of this? Maybe Regina had put her up to it. It didn't seem planned, though. You thought that Regina and Gretchen weren't talking.
"What's a lesbian?" Kylie asked you, all innocence and wide eyes.
"Kylie, don't ask that, it's not appropriate." Mrs George said.
"Why? Is it a bad word?" She turned to her mother. You took deep breaths and clenched your fists. Unclench. Clench. Everything was going to be fine.
"No, but it's not good to accuse somebody like that." Mrs George tried to explain gently, but you could tell she was out of her depth.
"But what does it mean?"
"Kylie, I said don't-"
"It means a girl that likes girls." You cut in.
"Huh... So like how boys like girls, but a girl likes a girl?"
"Yeah."
"Oh. Okay."
You would've paid so much money for it to be that simple. Why you couldn't be afforded the benefit of the doubt that you weren't a pervert, riddled with disease, and out to get people? Why was it so unbelievable that you didn't want to change the world, you just wanted to get married someday? Why did kissing girls on the mouth make you a predator?
You suspected there were no real answers to those questions. Fear. Repression. The patriarchy. Religion. The wage gap. Whatever.
The show went on. You felt numb. Realistically, what could you even do? Stand up and shout that it wasn't true? That would only serve to put a name to a face. The next talents came and performed their mediocrity to the mildly interested crowd. There was a pretty good sleight-of-hand magician. Somebody had trained their cat to do tricks.
Eventually, it was Regina's turn to take the stage. You couldn't help but perk up when they announced her. Mrs George was out of her seat immediately, kneeling on the pathway to the stage with a video camera poised to film her daughter.
The curtains parted. She stood in the centre of the stage, mic stand in front of her. She smiled a little, eyes on her mom presumably.
Her hair was done in soft waves, framing her face so beautifully. Natural makeup kept light, a compromise between the bare face that you liked and the full beat she was into. She was wearing an old white tee shirt, the logo so faded you could barely make it out. That had been your shirt, you realized as you narrowed your eyes. You'd gotten it from summer camp, one that Regina hadn't been able to come with you to. After you came back she'd confiscated all the stuff you'd gotten there. Tee shirts, crafts projects, a whittled duck, braided cord. You'd always assumed she had thrown it all in the trash. On her wrist was a braided leather cord and a wood bead friendship bracelet. She had on Lee jeans that hugged her hips and thighs exquisitely. Those had been her mom's.
In her hands was the photo album. Everybody could read the front, Reggie & Jorts.
"Notice me... Take my hand..." She crooned into the mic as the soft melody of Briney Spears' Everytime began to play.
"Why are we strangers when our love is strong? Why carry on without me?"
You felt like you couldn't breathe.
"And every time I try to fly I fall without my wings," Her eyes scanned the crowd. You wondered if she was looking for you. "I feel so small, I guess I need you, baby,"
She found you. Your eyes met, hers clear and blue and somehow so sad, even as she glittered up on stage. Even with everybody's eyes on her, she was looking at you.
"And every time I see you in my dreams, I see your face," She sang so prettily, every note like a gentle caress, a soothing balm to your ears. You did so love to hear her sing.
"It's haunting me. I guess I need you, baby," Her eyes closed, like she couldn't focus on two things at once; looking at you and singing. She swayed gently with the rhythm, feeling the soft instrumental in her feet. Sneakers. Simple, white sneakers.
Her eyes opened again with the next lyrics. You tried not to overthink it, tried not to imagine things that weren't there, but maybe there was a glassiness to her eyes that hadn't been there before.
"I make-believe, that you are here. It's the only way that I see clear. What have I done? You seem to move on easy."
You swallowed, eyes closing. You weren't sure what to think. Was this her way of apologizing? Was she trying to make up for what'd been said? Hadn't she just earlier today made your life living hell?
You leaned your elbows onto your knees and cradled your face in your hands. What were you supposed to do now? She was singing to you. This was the ultimate show of sincerity, of vulnerability, but what were you meant to do with it all in your hands? Your chest tightened and your breaths shortened.
The song continued, you knew the lyrics by heart, but only once she sang the next part did you open your eyes again.
"I may have made it rain, please forgive me. My weakness caused you pain, and this song's my sorry,"
You understood. Cowardly as it may have been, Regina was apologizing to you. Though the references were obscure enough that most, if not all, people would not know who she was singing to, it was quite clear this was a song for somebody.
You rubbed at your throat. It felt constricted, like something was tightening around it.
You couldn't shake the feeling that it was too late. As much as you would've liked to weep in gratitude, be swept in the relief that she was taking you back, irreversible things had happened. None of this made sense. If she hadn't pulled the stunt today then who had? Had she told somebody? Had Janis told?
Regardless, you were an outcast. If not, then ridiculed. You were scared. You had become a target. You didn't think anybody at Northshore was capable of the atrocities you saw reported on the news, but nobody who'd become a victim did until it was too late.
As it was, it didn't matter whether or not you forgave Regina. It didn't matter if she forgave you.
"I guess I need you, baby," As the last line of the song carried throughout the gymnasium, and after the split second of stunned silence before people began cheering and clapping, you got up and left.
You'd smoke a cigarette and get out of here once and for all. Then, you'd drive home and call dad. You'd tell him everything, tell him you needed to switch schools and that you were gay and that you'd made a real mess of things.
You'd take what was given, reap what'd been sown, and forget all about this goddamned town.
Forget all about Regina George.
Notes: Took a bit longer with this one. Sorry for the suspense! Here, have some more unresolved stuff! Also, I fucking love that song by Britney Spears. I've known Regina was gonna sing it for J since pretty much the beginning and finally, she did.
Taglist will be posted separately. If you want to be added to the list, please comment on that post! Thank you!
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obscuretobyfox · 2 months ago
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The recent UNDERTALE/DELTARUNE Newsletter revealed a ton of concept art for enemies, done by Splendidland! There's way too much to make individual posts on, so I'll just post all the art with notes here!
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"My friend Samanthuel (aka Splendidland) did a ton of concept art for Chapter 2! Sadly I couldn't use all of it because many of the concepts didn't end up aligning with my final vision for the game, but the designs themselves are super amazing! I'm thankful I got to use any of them.
Specifically I really wanted to use the paint enemy as a miniboss, since I thought it would be really fun mechanic.
Below were her notes on all of them! She also provided ideas on how she thought they could be used." - Toby Fox
"I was given the broad theme of "cyber world" and told to pretty much just design whatever I wanted, expecting only a handful to actually make it in. I made all of these within a couple days, just making whatever came to my mind." - Splendidland
(From here on out, all quotes are from Splendidland.)
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"01: Hacker Guy (idk what their name is), wants to discover the secrets of the world and has special abilities, though they aren't aware of them. "Hacks" by randomly smashing keys and even swinging their mouse around in the air, could keep escalating in silly ways.
02: Handsome Face...
03: When they stand over a spot that can be "hacked into", their cursor shaped head turns into a pointing finger. They don't notice this change, so it's up to you, the player, to help them."
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"04: heheh....
05: Funny Egg, their body contains a virtual pet. Can the fate of this pet be altered? Maybe not... Has an existential crisis if the pet dies, as their body is a battleground of life and death.
06 :Broken Image, their life is in ruins
07: Recycle Bin
08: Trash Fly, represents uncollected "garbage data"
09: Kiss-kiss"
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"10: Painter, would basically be like Adeleine but with crude ms paint effects, especially the airbrush."
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"11: Diskette, spins in place until talked to. "despite my looks, i am totally unable to save your progress"
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"12: some kind of "internet" thing idk
13: "Data", little icon like creatures who march onwards with unknown purpose. they take part in the festival."
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"14: Popup. hides underneath a tile and springs upwards annoyingly. touching its forehead makes it return underground temporarily. a pest."
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"15: Virus, its head sways back and forth as it tries to hover in the air."
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"16:Anti Virus, is it a cop or a doctor? maybe they see you as an enemy as you're an "outsider"?
17:Corrupted data or something"
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"18:"Cyber World", a rough vision of what a world inside a computer could look like
19:Cyber House"
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"20: Masked Dancers, they participate in the festival, each colour has a different movement pattern and dance style. very rough concept" Which one is your favorite? Mine is probably the tiny data creatures!
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persevereforahappyending · 4 months ago
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Maybe in Another Life |17 - Final|
Pairing: Clarisse La Rue x Reader
Summary: You are a Hunter of Artemis, but you start to question what you truly want when you meet Clarisse and get to know her.
Warnings: None
Word Count: 3.5k+
Main Masterlist | Series Masterlist
ch. 1 | ch. 2 | ch. 3 | ch. 4 | ch. 5 | ch. 6 | ch. 7 | ch. 8 | ch. 9 | ch. 10 | ch. 11 | ch. 12 | ch. 13 | ch. 14 | ch. 15 | ch. 16 | ch. 17
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It had been a couple days since the battle of Manhattan, and you were fully healed. Apollo had saved your life, but you still ached like crazy after, you fell asleep pretty much as soon as you got to the cabin when you and the others arrived at camp. The first night back was one full of celebration, all the cabins came together, partying and cheering each other on. Even the demigods who had sided with Luke were welcomed back, at least those that lived and realized the error of their ways. 
The second day though, was one filled with grief and mourning. Everyone had been so excited to win the war, no one truly knew how things would actually go, there had been a real possibility of Kronos winning. After the win, after the celebrating, it finally hit everyone, they might have won the war, but it came at a great cost. Every cabin lost members, everyone lost someone, whether it be a friend or sibling. You might have been saved by Apollo but many were not, many Hunters had not been. You weren’t sure if the poison made you lucky, dying slowly was the only reason you were still alive at the end to even have the chance at being healed. 
Apollo might have been annoying, but you didn’t take him saving you lightly. You were as good as dead until Apollo intervened, there was no reason for him to do that, other than he simply liked you. You owed him everything, you owed it to your sisters who didn’t get the chance to continue on. You owed everyone who didn’t make it, you would spend the rest of your life dedicating yourself to making sure Apollos gift wasn’t in vain, that you deserved this second chance at life. 
You hadn’t seen Clarisse much since getting back to camp. She helped you to your cabin and then left you, after you insisted she go enjoy the night. The next morning at breakfast she came over to check on you but then quickly went back to her table. Breakfast was depressing that day, everyone sat quietly at their tables, no one was making jokes or being rowdy. There was a somber mood that coated the entire camp that day. The next few meals got louder and louder until there was a consistent amount of chatter amongst the demigods. 
You had only seen Clarisse at meals though, usually across the pavilion. You’d be at Artemis’s table with your sisters, and you’d look up, meeting Clarisse’s gaze, who was seated with her siblings at the Ares table. Clarisse had lost her best friend, you wanted to be there for her, you remembered what it was like losing Zoe. You didn’t want to push her though; Clarisse wasn’t exactly the type to be open about her feelings. You silently made it known you were there for her, if she wanted to talk, she could come to you, but if she wanted her space, you’d happily give that to her as well. 
You threw yourself into training as soon as you were able. You spent your days on the training grounds, shooting arrows or swinging a sword at the dummies. You said it was to stay in fighting shape, just something to help your recover but every time you slashed your sword at a dummy you saw the faces of your sisters, the faces of all those lost. 
“Hey,” Thalia called out, just as you dealt another hard blow to the wood dummy. You turned to face her, sheathing your sword in the process. “Just got word from Artemis.” Your heart dropped at that, that meant you were leaving soon. As much as you were ready to leave Camp Half-Blood, you weren’t ready, you hadn’t had a real conversation with Clarisse yet. “We leave tomorrow.” 
You gave a small nod. “Well, I’m always packed,” you said. 
You turned back around, facing the dummy. You put your hand on the hilt of the sword, intending to draw it again and continue your training. “You should say any goodbyes tonight,” Thalia’s voice made you freeze. “We’re leaving at sunrise.” 
You didn’t turn around; you just turned your head enough to see Thalia out of the corner of your eye. “Thank you,” is all you said. 
When you heard Thalia finally walking away you drew your sword and continued on with your training. You knew it was your last day to talk to Clarisse, but you didn’t know where to start, so you trained. You trained for hours, ignoring the other campers as they came and went, ignoring as lunch time came and went, ignoring as dinner time came and went. You finally stopped when the only light in the sky was from the stars. 
You looked up, your eyes instantly going to Zoe’s constellation. You sighed; you knew what you had to do. Even if Zoe wouldn’t have approved of your feelings for Clarisse, she definitely would have called you out for avoiding the girl just because you were scared. You once again sheathed your sword and made your way off the training grounds. You made your way to your cabin to put away your weapons, then you were going to go to the bonfire you knew the campers were having. It would be the last bonfire for all the Hunters there and you figured Clarisse would be there. 
After putting your stuff away and getting cleaned up you made your way to the bonfire. By the time you got there the party was in full swing, demigods were all paired off or in groups talking with one another. You saw most of your sisters there as well, most of them branching out and talking to other campers by this point. You passed by Percy and Annabeth, making sure to give Annabeth a small nod and completely ignore Percy, not even bothering to turn when you caught him frowning. You made eye contact with Thalia across the fire who gave you a small nod. You saw everyone, everyone besides Clarisse, the one person you had actually wanted to see. 
You soon left the bonfire, knowing there was one other place Clarisse might be. You made your way through the camp until you came to the Ares cabin. The cabin was dark and not a single sound came from it, most would assume no one was home but that didn’t stop you from walking up the steps and knocking on the door. 
It took a moment, but you finally heard shuffling and then the door creaking. “Hey,” you breathed out when you saw Clarisse standing before you. 
“What are you doing here?” Clarisse asked, she crossed her arms, but she didn’t sound angry. 
“We’re leaving tomorrow.” 
Clarisse nodded, suddenly refusing to look you in the eye. “I heard.” 
“I needed to say goodbye.” 
You reached up to grab Clarisse’s hand but paused midair, questioning your decision. You saw Clarisse eyeing your hand out of the corner of her eye. When she didn’t pull away or make any move saying she didn’t want you to touch her you got over your nerves and continued. You gently grabbed her hand, letting her arms fall to her side as you swung your clasped hands between the two of you, gently rubbing circles on the back of her hand with your thumb. 
“I’m sorry,” you whispered. 
“We both knew this day was coming,” she sighed. She looked up, giving you a sad smile. 
“Yeah,” you sighed, returning her smile. “Until we meet again.” 
Clarisse tugged you by the hand, pulling you in for a hug. You were sure she would never seem so vulnerable out in the open, the two of you were standing on the porch of the Ares cabin, anyone walking by could see the two of you. You knew everyone was at the bonfire though and they’d be there all night. You weren’t sure how long the two of you stayed there, you just hugged each other, enjoying the comforting silence. 
When you finally parted Clarisse went back into her cabin and you walked back to Artemis’s. You weren’t in the mood for a bonfire. As soon as you walked through the door you kicked off your boots and laid on your bed, looking up at the ceiling. The odds were that once you left camp, you’d never see Clarisse again. Clarisse graduated next year, meaning she probably wouldn’t be at Camp Half-Blood anymore, even if that wasn’t the case, it wasn’t often the Hunters came to camp. The war was fought and won, there was no reason for you guys to come back to the camp as often as you had in recent years. Unless you ran into her on a quest this would be the last night you saw Clarisse. 
The next morning you made your way to the top of the hill with your sisters. Your sisters crossed over the barrier, making their way down the other side of the hill. You were about to follow when you caught Clarisse running towards you out of the corner of your eye. “Give me a second?” you asked, looking at Thalia. Thalia nodded, then walked away enough to be out of earshot. 
“I just...” Clarisse started when she got to you. “I just wanted to say goodbye.” 
You smiled. “Goodbye,” you whispered. You reached out, offering her your arm which she hesitantly took, gripping your forearm. You pulled her forward, resting your forehead against hers. “Until the next life,” you whispered. 
You heard Clarisse let out a shaky breath and felt her give a small nod. “I’ll hold you too that,” she whispered. You couldn’t help but smile at her words. 
The two of you stayed like that for a second before you both of you finally, though reluctantly, pulled away. She walked backwards down the hill until she finally turned around, jogging down the rest of the way. Your eyes followed her the entire time, you intended to watch her until she disappeared from your view. You felt the air change and the hair on your arm stand up, you gave a sad smile, knowing it was time to leave. 
“You’re older,” you said, not even bothering to turn around. You knew who was behind you, you always knew when she was near, you could always feel her presence. 
“I know you feel weird when I look like a child,” Artemis said. 
“It’s just a little weird to be getting advice or be given orders by a twelve-year-old.” You chuckled before finally turning around to face Artemis. 
She looked similar to how she always did, however instead of taking on the appearance of a twelve-year-old she made herself look a little older, made herself to look around your age. It wasn’t often Artemis changed her appearance, she hardly ever made herself look older. Given the fact that she’s taken on this appearance to talk to you, even though you were all supposed to leave in a few minutes, didn’t seem like a good sign. 
You turned away from Artemis again, looking back over camp from the top of the hill. You had done this a hundred times, you had left camp without so much as a glance back, you despised Camp Half-Blood, you always looked forward to leaving, except now. It seemed camp was getting harder and harder for you to walk away from, you couldn’t help but assume it had to do with the daughter of Ares. Your eyes found Clarisse, walking down the hill, getting further away from you. 
“I’m releasing you from your oath.,” Artemis said softly but instantly breaking you from your thoughts. 
“What?” you asked, turning around. You looked at her with wide eyes, you weren’t sure you had heard her right. 
“You deserve to be happy.” she gave you a kind smile. She didn’t need to repeat herself, you really had heard her correctly, that didn’t make you any less confused though. 
“I am happy,” you insisted, stepping closer to Artemis. “I’ve always been happy with you, with my sisters.” You weren’t sure why she was doing this, you had remained loyal, you never broke your oath, you didn’t know why she was abandoning you now, you thought you had done everything right, you tried to do everything right. 
“I know,” she sighed, resting a hand on your shoulder. “But now your heart isn’t in it anymore,” she gave you a sad smile. Your eyes fell, she was right, she was always right. “You have been a great second to my lieutenants, to Zoe and then to Thalia. You’ve been an even better friend and confidant these last thousand years.” 
You glanced up to see Artemis not looking at you but down the hill at Clarisse. “I’ve seen you two together, you have strong feelings,” Artemis said softly, no animosity in her voice. “You have been willing to ignore those feelings, to sacrifice what you want, to honor your oath.” Your eyes fell once again, the feeling that you’ve disappointed your goddess washed over you. “I am not disappointed in you.” You looked up, your eyes widening, it was like Artemis had read your mind. She had always been good at reading you though. “You have fought admirably by my side. I will miss you,” she gave you a sad smile. “But I want you to be happy.” 
You looked back down at Clarisse, watching her slowly disappear from your sight. “Do you want to be with her?” Artemis asked. 
You opened your mouth, but nothing came out. Despite the conversation going on you were caught off guard by Artemis’s question. “I am loyal to you,” you found yourself saying. It didn’t matter what you wanted or what you felt, you were loyal to Artemis. 
“I know. You have never once wavered. I am not angry,” she smiled, so you knew her words were true. “You have stayed the course and pushed away your temptations and desires better than anyone.” Despite her words, despite knowing Artemis wouldn’t lie, if she was angry or felt you betrayed her, she wouldn’t bother with this conversation, she’d just punish you. Despite all that, you still felt like you had failed her. 
“Do you want her?” she asked again. 
“I-yes,” you whispered. There it was, you said it, it was the first time you admitted it out loud. 
“I am releasing you. You will no longer be immortal, but you are free to be with her, to love her, to live a new life, one that you choose.” 
“I don’t know what to do without you.” You had been with Artemis and the Hunters for so long, you barely remembered your mortal life. 
“I’m not abandoning you; I will be there if you need me, you will always be my friend, and a sister.” That brought you some comfort, you knew Artemis still kept in contact with the few people she did let leave but you never expected her to do the same to you. 
“Are you sure?” 
“Believe it or not just because I reject love does not mean I don’t want my Hunters to be happy,” Artemis chuckled lightly.  You couldn’t help but smile as well, Artemis could be harsh, but she did truly want her Hunters to be happy. “If that’s what they ultimately desire, so long as they don’t break my trust.” 
“Thank you.” 
“No, thank you. Thank you for a thousand years of service.” Artemis stepped forward and gently rested her forehead against yours. She brought a hand to the back of your neck, then she slowly began taking away the gifts bestowed upon you, leaving you mortal once again when she pulled away. 
“I can never repay you for all that you’ve done for me.” 
“You don’t have to; you’ve done more than enough.” 
“Thank you, for everything, truly.” 
Artemis gave a small nod. She looked down the hill at the Hunters waiting for her then back to you. “Also, it might be unconventional but feel free to continue to stay in Cabin Eight.” 
You couldn’t help but chuckle at that. “I appreciate that.” Artemis didn’t have to allow that, but you appreciated that she did. You were a child of Nike and despite Percy’s terms Nike didn’t have a cabin yet. You would have been stuck in the Hermes cabin and that was certainly not what you wanted; you would have rather set up a tent outside. 
“It’s been an honor and a pleasure,” you said. “Fighting by your side, my goddess.” You held out your arm and Artemis gripped your forearm giving it a firm shake before making her way down to the Hunters. 
Lastly, Thalia appeared beside you. “I’m never going to find another second like you,” she said. 
You smiled at the comment, giving a shy nod. “That’s true,” you said cockily. 
Thalia smacked you on the side of the arm before giving her own goodbye. “I owe you my life,” she whispered. 
You gave a little shrug. “Just doing my job.” 
Thalia tilted her head, narrowing her eyes slightly at you. “You deserve this, you know?” You scrunched your eyebrows, tilting your head in question. “To be happy,” she clarified. You sucked in a breath, giving her a small nod. “There’s nothing to feel guilty about, Zoe would understand.” 
Your eyes widened slightly, that was always something you worried about. Zoe might have been gone but you were constantly worried about disappointing her. You knew how much the Hunters meant to her, how seriously she took the oath, she was the one that had been by your side since the beginning, walking away now almost felt like a betrayal. Zoe was like Artemis though, she never thought less of those who wanted to leave the Hunters, so long as they didn’t break their oath to do so. 
“Thank you,” you whispered. 
Thalia gave you a final nod before running off to join the rest of the Hunters. You stood at the top of the hill, giving them all one final wave before watching them take off into the woods. You turned around, looking back down at camp, you let out a shaky breath before making your way back down the hill, intending to find Clarisse. 
You didn’t have to try too hard to find Clarisse, she was where she was the majority of the time, on the training grounds. She wasn’t in the middle of training though, her back was to you, and she was talking to Percy and Annabeth. 
“I thought you left?” Percy questioned when his eyes landed on you. 
“Change of plans,” you said. 
Annabeth tilted her head, her eyes flicking from you to Clarisse, and you could swear a small smirked appeared on her lips. You saw Clarisse’s body stiffen before turning to face you. “Didn’t Artemis arrive this morning?” Clarisse questioned. 
“She did,” you confirmed with a nod. 
“Then what are you-” 
“She and the Hunters just left,” you cut her off. 
You watched as her brow furrowed then her eyes widened in realization. “What does that mean?” she asked quietly, like she was nervous to hear your answer. 
“It means,” you hesitantly stepped forward. You were only partially aware of Annabeth dragging a confused Percy away. “I’ve been released from my oath,” you let out in a shaky breath. You reached out, ignoring the way your hand shook, and took Clarisse’s hand in your own. 
“You’re not a Hunter anymore?” You could see the hope in Clarisse’s eyes. 
You shook your head, giving her a shy smile. “I hope that’s okay?” Despite having feelings for her and knowing she had feelings for you, you weren’t sure if this was actually something she wanted. 
Clarisse crashed into you, wrapping you up in a tight hug. “Of course it’s okay,” she mumbled into your neck. 
You instantly wrapped your hands around her waist, pulling her closer. She pulled away just enough to rest her forehead against yours, your noses lightly brushing against each other, both of you hesitating to lean in. “I’ve never done anything like this before,” you whispered. This was all new to you, you might not have minded Apollo’s flirting, but you still had never crossed any of these lines before, you had never felt anything like this, even before joining the Hunters. 
“Me either,” Clarisse whispered back. Your shoulders relaxed at that. You knew she had a crush on Chris but knowing the rest of this was all knew to her definitely eased your nerves a bit. 
Clarisse finally closed the distance, kissing you. For a split second you froze but quickly gave in, kissing Clarisse back. You both smiled into the kiss as it got more intense. When the two of you broke apart, Clarisse rested her forehead on yours again, both of you smiling like crazy. 
Clarisse swung an arm around your neck, and you swung your arm around her waist as the two of you began to walk off the training area. You ignored the way Percy’s mouth was hung open and his eye practically coming out of his head and the way Annabeth was smirking as the two of you passed them. 
Taglist: @cxcilla @danonered @touchmyfracturedomens @luclue @manu-007s-world @death-in-love @nenas19 @mynameiskaci @fictionalwhor3
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sinnersweets · 9 months ago
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DogDay x Reader part 13
<-----part 12, part 14----->
“You have a lovely home Mrs. Y/N.” “Why thank you Mrs. Jackson.” I spoke while drinking some tea I made. It was the home inspection today and even though everything seemed to be going well I was a nervous wreck. “Everything seems to be in order as far as safety measures; remind me how old is Damian?” While setting down my teacup I said, “He is seven years old but will be eight tomorrow.” I couldn’t help but smile big. I plan on telling him for his birthday tomorrow. “Happy early birthday to him. Now comes the boring part; the questions. I’m going to go down my list and you just answer truthfully alright?” I nodded my head. “Good, now let us begin.” 
At first, she just went through how the interviews went with my family which thankfully my mom was on her best behavior and didn’t give her crap about me. Next, she asked me when my birthday was to ensure I knew it and for my birth certificate to verify that I was twenty-one. “Now Mrs. Y/N, how long have you and your husband been together?” She asked me that while I was taking a sip of my tea which caused me to almost spit it out. I set down my cup and said, “I’m not married Mrs. Jackson.” She looked up at me before looking over to my wall where mine and DogDays picture was. Why do people keep assuming that me and DogDay are married by that one photo?! “Oh, I apologize Ms. Y/n. Normally it’s couples that adopt, not just one person.” “Technically me and him are a couple just not married.” “I see.” She scribbled down something on her clipboard before going on with the questions. 
--------------- 
“Were the questions really that horrible Angel?” DogDay asked me. We were both by the duck pond watching our group play red light, green light. I sighed and said, “Maybe not horrible but long. She asked about my motivation for wanting to adopt, my fertility, childhood, family relationships, financial situation, criminal history, my history of residence, if I knew any other languages, my health, religion, if I knew how to discipline a child, understanding abuse and neglect. My god I should’ve just written a book about myself and had her read it!”  
DogDay chuckled as I threw my hands up in the air. “It’ll all be worth it in the end Angel.” “Yeah, I know.” I looked over and saw Damian was now the one in charge of the game. “Have anything planned for Damian tomorrow?” DogDay shook his head no. “He doesn’t really like celebrating his birthday. The last time we celebrated it was when he was five. After that he asked if we could just pretend that his birthday doesn’t exist, but I always give him a card.” I frowned as I listened to DogDay speak. “Did he ever tell you why to stop celebrating it?” DogDay shrugged his shoulders and said, “My guess is because it’s a reminder that another year has passed and he’s still here.” I guess I could see where Damian was coming from. 
I cleared my throat before saying, “Speaking about being here, do you ever wish you could leave?”DogDay chuckled and laid down on the grass looking up at the ceiling. I followed his actions and laid down as well. “All the time Angel. Now that I have you, more than ever.” He grabbed onto my hand and squeezed it. I turned my head, looked at him, and smiled. “Oh? And just what would you want to do if you could leave?” “Let’s see, well I’d like to take you on a date, go on car rides, run around at the park. Really do anything with you Angel. Oh, and play soccer with Damian, he loves soccer.”  
I turned my head back up towards the ceiling. Now knowing that Damian liked soccer it gave me a theme to decorate his room. “If someone were to, I don’t know, buy you out from here how would you feel about that?” DogDay looked over to me with a surprised look before saying, “Are you saying you’d buy me out of Playtime Angel?” I sat up and leaned against my hands while saying, “Well I’ve been thinking about it. I don’t really know if I could, but it doesn’t hurt to ask right?” DogDay gave me a soft smile. It looked like he was going to say something but then a kid yelled out, “Miss DogDay!” 
Mine and DogDays head turned toward the child. “We wanna play hide and seek!” I got up from the ground and walked over to Aaron, the little boy who called out to me. “We can play hide and seek after your guy's nap time, okay?” “Yay!” Aaron took off screaming in delight. I then felt a kiss on top of my head. “You’re gonna be a great mom Angel.”  I looked up at him and smiled. "You think so?" "I know so. In fact you'll be a great mom to Damain and to our very own kid." "Thank you- wait what?!"
--------------- 
“Thank you for coming to see me Ms. Y/N.” I took a seat inside Stellas’ office, not sure why she called me in. “May I ask what this is about?” She reached in her desk and pulled out a file. While she handed me the file she said, “Please read this over and tell me what this is.” I slowly opened the file and started reading what was inside. I only read the first few words before realizing what this was. “This is the email I got when I was hired.” “Yes, it is. Oh, before I forget; congratulations. Damian is now legally yours.”  
My eyes widened. “Really?! That’s wonderful!” Even though she just told me that Damian was now legally mine the atmosphere in the room was still off. “Is there something else Stella?” She took off her glasses and said, “Yes. Please flip through and read what I have highlighted.” I did what she told me, and I found where she had highlighted. As I started reading my eyes grew wide. I looked up at her and said, “I can’t work here anymore?!”  
She nodded her head. She also looked sad from this. “I’m sorry Ms. Y/N, but that is company policy. If you adopt a child here while employed, that person must resign from here. I’m really sorry.”  
--------------- 
I sat in my bed while looking at the file. I can’t believe that I had to quit! Don’t get me wrong, I’m still happy that I was able to get Damian, but now I have to leave my friends behind. And DogDay....  
My phone started ringing and I saw that it was DogDay calling me. I answered the phone while wiping away some tears. “Hey Angel!” “Hi.” “You never told me what Ms. Stella wanted to see you about.” “Oh, she was just telling me that I can take Damian. He’s now legally mine.” “That’s amazing Angel!” I stayed quiet. I felt like if I talked, I would start crying even more. “Angel? What’s wrong?” A part of me wanted to tell him the other news that I got but I couldn’t. “Nothing, just a little tired from today.” I don’t know if he really believed me or not, but he didn’t question me any further. “Oh well then I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, Angel. Sleep well, I love you.” “I love you too.”  
I ended the call and leaned my head back against my headboard. I didn’t want to lose DogDay, but I really wasn’t sure if he could be bought out. Suddenly an idea popped in my head. It was risky, heck even stupid, but it could work. I set an alarm on my phone for 2 a.m. and went on my laptop to see if there was any nearby land to buy. 
A/N: What do you think Angel is going to do?
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stardustlixie · 6 months ago
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cry me a river [h.hj x reader]
trope: enemies to lovers, uni au
word count: 13.6k
warnings: not much, arguing and bickering obvi, like one badly written breakdown, mentions of abuse but no serious descriptions, a little ateez slander i'm sorry someone had to be villain, that's it i think, lmk if i missed something
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Some say a child’s mind is like a blank book, and what's written in it has lasting impact, but you'd say it's more like wet clay, writing on paper can be erased, or cut down, or covered, but what about fingerprints on clay, what about the shapes it was twisted into? those cannot be undone, not without breaking.
And you're a living example.
You were the 12 year old who was told love was something you'd have to earn. You were once the 12 year old crying when your father burst out telling you ‘second is just the first loser', you were the 12 year old shaking, lest the test paper with an 82 on it warrant physical pain. 
You were the 13 year old who spent their birthday evaluating what made up a human's worth. Kindness, faith, and community were things that your mother would have said, but certificates, achievements and excellence would be your dad's answer. And for the next 8 years, it'd be yours too.
Young minds are beautiful places, but they trust to a fault, taking whatever is presented to them as absolute truth, often hurting themselves to a point where they find themselves unable to trust when older. And yet, painfully unable to shake the beliefs embedded in their psyche.
Your father isn't in your immediate vicinity to remind you that you're not lovable if you don't have something to offer and he'd be surprised if someone ever loved you for who you are. But his voice still lives in the back of your head, it's enough reminder of your uselessness without Hyunjin exiting.
Hwang Hyunjin, how you hate his guts and how your father would have loved him. All things good: funny, smart, popular, skilled, but most of all, the best at everything. 
Always first, always a step ahead of you, prettier than you, smarter than you, more friendly than you.
More than you.
Being the best comes easy to him, hell, everything comes easy to him. Especially making you feel small. He sucks the oxygen out of any place you are in.
It seems like his only purpose in the universe is causing you problems, putting you down, destroying your self esteem, getting into the most sensitive corners of your mind and evoking intense emotions that you didn't even know you were capable of feeling.
He brings out the worst of you, makes your insecurities pop out like bright red on a white canvas. 
Maybe it's you who's fragile. But not being affected is difficult when most of his attacks seem to mirror your father's statements.
You don't like Hwang Hyunjin. You know it, Felix knows it, Minho knows it, Hyunjin knows it, the entire campus knows it. 
You don't remember when exactly Hyunjin got to this point, but it didn't start like this. 
It seems like forever but it's been just about a year since you met him at that party. It's no question that he's good looking, but he had an allure to him that day. Though he was reserved at first, you both soon began to get along and your friendship began to turn into a playful rivalry.
The light hearted competition in everything was welcome at first, but there came a point where it wasn't light hearted anymore. And maybe one of you unknowingly crossed a line or two, but you were hurling sharp insults at the other in only a couple of months of meeting.
You were enemies before you were really friends.
But you blame him for that. You weren't at fault when you recieved your first semester grades and first thing he said was “Seems like second is what you'll always be.” 
You weren't over reacting that day when he suggested getting drunk at a party was your only chance of getting laid because “Your personality will distract any sober person from your looks, no one would stay with you long enough to reach that level of trust.” 
You weren't overreacting when you'd grabbed him by the collar and told him “Talk to me about trust when someone shows interest in something other than your reputation or face. Talk to me about human connection when you know what it fucking feels like.”  
That was probably the harshest thing you'd said to him, and you knew that, because this was his fragile point. He brought it upon himself though. He wasn't seen around for a week after that. But then he was back, the same, with remarks on everything about you, not always prime hurtful, but always unwelcome. There was nothing you did that deterred him from being so disruptive. So you learnt to let it be. 
But your friends didn't get the memo. They seem to get along with him really well. To this day they've been trying to get you two to ‘settle your differences’. You reckon they'll get tired one day.
☆⋆。°⁠☆
This was a bad idea. They should have given up after two of their previous attempts.
Closed rehearsal room and your friends who thought of inviting the bane of your existence to join for a dance practice session.
“Darling you're not even trying,” he condescends, “though I don't think it'd make much of a difference if you did.” There goes that smirk.
Felix pauses his movement momentarily to look at the situation, but Minho, ever the strict teacher, orders the three of you back into position. It's been an hour of trying to come up with a choreography for a song of his choosing and you'd be worried about his disappointment in the lack of progress if you didn't have a 5 '10 problem to deal with.
Whose idea was it to attempt getting you and Hyunjin to be friends? 
You've been trying your best to focus on the instructions Minho gives but Hwang Hyunjin can be really, really annoying when he needs to be. And you're reaching the brink of your already limited patience. 
“That's it, Min. I don't know which of you two decided this was a good idea but I really hope this guy isn't in this room the next time I am. I'm not doing this anymore.” You declare and walk to get your bag when, ofcourse, Hyunjin comments.
“Oh come on,” he fakes a pout, “you're disappointing your best friends. And me.” He says, like he matters. 
“Well then,” you glare him down, done dealing with him for the rest of your life, “cry me a river and drown in it.” 
He winces and puts a hand over his heart like he's hurt, before laughing, “As you wish darling.” You're very close to snapping but you just take a few steps towards him till his back hits the wall. “Shut up, will you?” 
“Oo, how scary.” His hand reaches out but you smack it away before it does anything, your attention would be on his red ears if it wasn't on that stupid smirk.
And as you walk out you swear to yourself to wipe it off his face someday. 
When Minho and Lix brought him along and introduced him to you, he was nice, polite, quiet almost. But now it seems like he is on a personal vendetta to get on your nerves. 
His attacks go from just annoying to ignorant to personally hurtful when no one's looking. And you hate him for it. 
Felix keeps attempting to get you and his bestfriend to not be at each other's throats all the time. You can't say it's working but you've gotten more used to having a constant source of irritation around.
Is there more layers to your hatred of him than just this? Yes. Would you ever admit that? Probably not.
☆⋆。°⁠☆
The next you see of him is in your dorm, on your dinner table. Actually your trio’s table but he doesn't belong here either way. 
He lifts a hand and waves, mouthing a ‘hey there’, to which you flip him off. You reach the table and just stand beside your friends till they feel obligated to provide an explanation. Felix speaks up first, keeping his mug aside,“Hi yn!” but completely ignores your apprehension, prompts you to sit down instead, which you do with a huff. 
You don't spare him another glance but you can feel his eyes focused on you.
“Answer a question l/n.” He seems to be studying your stance for some reason. “What even is the point of you?”
You take a deep breath. You don't wanna smite him in your own kitchen. “You ask me that like your own life has any meaning.”
“So you don't have an answer?”
“Do you get off of the annoyance you cause other people?”
“Probably. You're my favorite though.” He winks and you have to use the entirety of your self control to not break his jaw.
“You done?” Minho says to Hyunjin, though it feels as if he's addressing you both.
“There’s a group dance competition in late November,” he sees both you and Hyunjin open your mouths but he cuts it off early, “it outright says groups of four or more.” 
“Then I'm out.” 
“So am I.”
“You both calm your asses right now,” Minho gives a look that promptly gets you both settled in your seats, though he ignores Lix’s giggle, “the prize money for the winners is huge.” 
“And I know you don't need the money like us,” he looks at Hyunjin, “but Hongjoong is bringing his team. I'm sure you'd like to participate.” 
Hyunjin nods his participation but Minho isn't done. “If I see whatever problem you both have with each other becoming a problem to practice..” He concludes himself with silence and you swear Hyunjin gulps as you hold eye contact with Minho, as if challenging him to finish. 
You've known him since his shy highschooler days, you're not about to be intimidated by this doe eyed example of a man.
“I think they'll manage!” Felix cheers Minho so he disrupts whatever staring contests you both are in. Conveniently dragging him out and inconveniently leaving you and Hyunjin together. This is the first time you're alone with him in a couple of months.
You get up as if he isn't sat across from you to make yourself some tea. It's almost done when he speaks. 
“So…. truce?” 
“I’m not acting friendly with you just because that rodent wants me to” you clear and set down a mug of tea on the table with some force, “don't make yourself comfortable.” 
He looks nonplussed at the cup in front of him and looks back at you.
“You were staring at Lix’s tea like a dying man. Drink it. Or don't. Whatever.” 
“Aww you do care about your arch-enemy after all!” He makes a face that makes you wanna hurt him. 
You walk out.
☆⋆。°⁠☆
“But wouldn’t that seem like piracy in dance? A dancepiracy?” Felix exclaims, in his usual manner of what-even-is-his-vocabulary when Minho has all of you gathered in a practice room on campus. 
“Lix, I'm sorry, what?” 
Hyunjin enters, a bit late as he always is, “Hi-” 
“Don't talk to me.” You cut him off and receive an eye roll before walking off to Minho and he beckons the two of them to do the same.
“Alright, let's decide a general vibe we're going for and then we'll pick a song based on that.” 
“How about a contemporary mix?” Hyunjin says, and before Minho can say something, you do.
“You're so clueless it's almost cute. You're gonna fight Ateez, with contemporary?” You scoff like it's the most ridiculous thing you've heard and he gives you an offended kindergartener look.
“Alright break it up, we'll club every idea together and then eliminate.” Minho says, already getting tired of the setting. How will he do this for a few more weeks?
Almost half an hour passes before the animated discussion about concepts, styles and which one of those could be used by potential opponents ends and you all try to decide on a song.
“But if we do Charisma we're gonna run out of energy pretty quickly and the power of the song is gonna overrule the moves.” You say and for the first time, Hyunjin agrees, so Minho has to drop it. 
“We should try k-music, how about Overdrive? The one by I.M.?” Hyunjin says and you almost pat him on the back. 
“That, Hwang, is probably the only good idea you've ever had in your life. Let's do it.” If hyunjin replies, it is tuned out by the sounds of a happy Felix. 
“Hyunjin if your hand touches my face one more time I'm gonna rip it off!” Minho says, much to effect, Hyunjin shudders and his hand never reaches a foot’s radius of Minho again. He looks hilarious like that, cute even. Wait. No.
“Alright, that's probably all we can do today, I want all of you here tomorrow at 5pm. Don't be late, Hyunjin.”
“Hey, why are you pointing me out?” Hyunjin whines and you reply for Minho.
“Because you're the only dumbass who ever actually is late.” 
“You say that like your middle name is punctual.” He retorts and he looks unreasonably attractive while doing so. You hate him for that.
“And? I've hardly been late to anything dickwad.” 
“Oh well, I might be 15 minutes late to practice but I'm still better than you aren't I?” 
“Oh fuck off,” you scoff. “You're about as better than me as I am better than Kirsten Dodgen.” 
“Come on, instead of making excuses, how bout you dance better ln?” He scoffs.
“How bout you shove your attitude up your ass, Hwang? Bragging doesn't make you superior.” He bends down to your face in the most condescending way ever. “Having something to brag about is what makes me superior, darling.” You're done with him.
“You'd be so much more likable if you weren't an utter bitch.” You see his gaze drop and you find yourself scoffing. If he chooses to make a conversation escalate he should deal with what's to come.
Before he can say something in return though, Minho interrupts him and drags him out. You walk out before Felix gets the chance to lecture you. 
☆⋆。°⁠☆
You're in your common room snacking as Minho and Lix argue over their makeup styles. 
"Lemme do your makeup please?" Felix asks for the third time, giving Minho his best puppy eyes, and he is close to cracking, but he has a little bit of dignity left, so he turns to you for help. "Only if yn says so."
"I think lixie's style would look quite pretty on you Min." You munch on a chip, Felix jumping up with a 'yes!' while Minho just looks at you, betrayed. You give him a small smile as an apology.
You are lost in thoughts of how much you adore these two, heart warming at their silly dynamic when you hear a knock on the door. 
“I'll check it.” 
Out of all the people who could have possibly been at your door for any possible reason, it has to be Hwang Hyunjin. 
“Why are you here?” He doesn't give you a direct answer, which isn’t like him, but just looks at his shoes. 
“Can I talk to Lix-”
“He's not here.” You know he is, Hyunjin knows too, but you're not very keen on letting him in. But he doesn't try to force it, he looks almost desperate when he replies. 
“Please just let me talk to him for a moment?” Hyunjin isn't usually polite to you, so you don't actively block him and step aside to let him enter.
Felix is doing Minho’s eyeshadow when he sees him, mutters out a greeting, and only senses something is off when he pays attention to Hyunjin’s face.
“What's up, hyun?” 
“I- uh this is kinda weird but, there's a spare bed in your room right? Since your dorm is for four people.” 
“Jinnie hyung what happened?” 
“Well they're doing some emergency repair work in my room starting today evening and me and Jisung need a place to live for like a few days. Hotels are expensive.” Hyunjin looks the most embarrassed you've ever seen him, you don't know why but you definitely don't want him to stay.
“Jisung already found a place and uh, it's just for a few days-”
“It's ok hyung you can stay in mine.” Felix smiles at him and tells him to go get all the stuff he'll need for those few days. 
As soon as he's out the door you start, “Felix, what the fuck? Did you just invite him to stay over?” He sighs and gives you a look. 
“Look he's my best friend, he's not that bad, besides he's gonna be in my room and I'll keep him in check I promise. It'll be fine.” 
You didn't think it'd be fine. With Hyunjin around it'd never be fine. But you can't think of any way out other than shutting yourself in your room. That works fine for a few hours, Hyunjin brings over his stuff and you can make out sounds of the three boys playing games and goofing around. But you are human. You're hungry. 
You try your best to tiptoe to the kitchen, and you get in safely, but on your way back, you slam into Hyunjin. How fun.
“Come on, yn, at least walk properly.” He brushes himself off like he just touched dirt, and something about that gesture gets to you. In a moment he's shoved against the wall and his breath is knocked out of his lungs. You have him by the collar. 
“What is your problem with me, huh?”, you interrogate, his ears are red but his face is unyielding, “why do you insist on being such an asshole to me? What have I ever done to you?” He gulps but his gaze on you doesn't falter. In another world you'd see what your hand around his neck would feel like.
“You're the one who likes acting superior, someone has to remind you you're not.” He says and some thread of resolve deep within you snaps. 
“Look Hyunjin, I don't know what deep insecurity of yours makes you hostile towards me. But I'm tired of this,” you glare, “I'm tired of you.” 
“You think you have the right to say that huh?”, he scoffs at you, “you were so nice at first why did you decide to hate me all of a sudden?” It's ridiculous how he almost looks hurt. It draws a dry laugh out of you. 
“I'm sorry but I should be the one saying that. Because you were the one who decided to be offended in secret and suddenly start sounding like my-” you almost say it, the reason his words affect you so gravely.
“Like your what?”
“Nevermind.” You let go of his collar and step back, he's not worthy of hearing about your reasons. He stays in place, staring at the ground, when you're about to walk out he speaks.
“It's because I hate you.” He says, you turn to him as he continues. “Rephrase, I hate how nothing budges you. You make me think of everything in my life that's out of my control. You're this seemingly perfect human and nothing gets to you. I wanted to see how far you could be pushed before you break. But you didn't, you never do. And honestly, you make me insecure.” His gaze is fixed on the ground but the irony of the situation gets to you. 
A laugh is drawn out of you at the prospect. “That's low, even by your standard, Hyunjin.” 
“I wanted some confirmation that you're human, that you have insecurities and fears and triggers, but you never show them.” 
“Haven't you pulled enough of my triggers already? Why’re you so hellbent on creating problems for me?”
“Because I don't wanna be less than you,” he says, and the irony makes you wanna strangle him. He mutters a curse. “I have a question. Why did you say that last year?” He asks, much to your confusion.
“Say what?” You ask, he inhales deeply and bites his lip, you're momentarily distracted despite the situation.
“That party at Seungmin’s after summer? I heard what you said.” He looks almost vulnerable but you still don't know what he's talking about so he continues.
“You were talking to someone that day, I heard my name so I was curious, you said I remind you of all the bad things in your life. That you hated me. And you'd been acting so harsh with me that week.”
“What?”, it takes you a moment to register what he's talking about, “oh. That.” 
“Forget it, it wasn't about you.” You say and he smiles at the ground, “So you do hate me.” 
“No, it's not that-”
“Then what is it?” 
“I-, it's my dad. I don't wanna talk about it in detail but you're everything he's ever wanted of me, you remind me of him and you talk the same way. That summer was when I told him I'm not taking his shit anymore. I was telling Minho about it.” Hyunjin looks stunned at the confession. 
“I don't hate you, you know? You just seem like someone too good to be a friend of mine.” He says and you laugh.
“You're so dumb Hwang Hyunjin. I don't forgive you but for the sake of our friends,” you look up at him and he's never looked so expectant, “truce?” His expression changes and you can sense the teasing coming your way.
“Did you just say that? You do like me that much huh?” You slap his arm. 
“Shut up before I change my mind.”  
“Oh, by the way, Lix is playing Moana in a few minutes, he said it's one of your faves, go sit with them, he'll like it. I'll fetch snacks like he told me to.”
You end up watching the movie with them, your snacks are attacked, you discover that Hyunjin does have a sense of humor.
The next day is smoother, you didn't expect Hyunjin to stop being a loudmouth, and he doesn't, but it's more bearable than before, it's not quite friendly yet, you both need time to work to that level after the spontaneous truce, but it's bearable.  
A group study in the library that all four of you agreed to just turned into a heated debate about literature and he may beat you in a dance competition but you'd be damned if he ever beats you in a debate. 
“I may have mistaken the quote for a Khalil Gibran one because it was similar but you quoted Oscar Wilde in a hetero scenario. Come on. You didn't even know what place Odesseus ruled or why Troy happened.” You're in disbelief.
“Ok fine. You got me. I know nothing about literature, especially Greek. Happy?” He admits defeat and you've never felt better. 
“Oh, very happy.” You're sure the grin on your face is annoying the hell out of him. 
You all get home groaning about not wanting to work to make dinner. One thing none of you expected though, is that all of you will miss the snowstorm alert and the notice of classes being canceled. 
“GUYS WE'RE FUCKED!” Felix shouts from the couch where he and Hyunjin are playing a game as you and Minho cook, everyone gathers around the boy as he reads out the alert emailed to all students. Minho groans, you sigh and Felix sits dejected. 
“Why are you all so down? It's just a snowstorm.” Hyunjin says and Felix fills him in about the deteriorated condition of the heater and the potential threat of a power cut. Also the inevitable delay that will happen to his dorm’s repair work.
The dinner is silent not just because of the news but because Felix and Minho know tomorrow is your birthday. 
Felix and Hyunjin are just done doing the dishes when the younger perks up, “I know what to do! WE'LL MAKE A  WARM PILLOW FORT IN ONE OF THE ROOMS!” 
“Lix I don't think that's a good idea.” You're not very excited to do this with Hyunjin around but Minho makes it worse.
“See that makes sense, if all of us sleep in one room it'd be warmer.” You know there's no going back from that so you assist in moving mattresses and blankets to make the nest looking thing ‘for the slumber party’ as Felix says.
Someone's (yours) laptop is propped up on a piece of furniture and a Disney movie, this time of Hyunjin's choosing, is played.
Looking at it positively, there's snacks, you're warm, everyone is having fun while there's a snowstorm outside, you have no classes for two days. It's not that bad. 
No one knows who falls asleep first, but there's no power when you wake up way too early, you wish yourself happy birthday and get up for tea when you're ambushed. Minho seats you back down as he and Felix softly sing the Happy Birthday song in the dark, Hyunjin shifts and wakes up, confused very much at the strange spectacle. 
Phone flashlights are turned on when a Felix-made box of brownies is passed to you, Minho lights a mini candle that you blow out and make a wish. 
“You'll have to wait a little longer for your gifts, though.” Minho says as he gives you a hug. 
The day starts early and the power comes back on in a few hours as the storm calms down. You're told to dress up for the gift giving and Hyunjin is made cameraman. 
Felix gives you a novel you've been wanting for a while along with a beautiful necklace and Minho gets you perfume and calligraphy pens. Hyunjin apologizes for not knowing it's your birthday but you tell him you don't mind.
You're not allowed to help when Minho dictates Felix and Hyunjin as they make some of your favorite food. The spectacle is amusing as can be, Hyunjin is absolutely clueless about cooking and looks lost while Felix runs about trying to manage his tasks as Minho is busy at the stove. The meal is one of the best you've had in a while. 
This is how you like your birthdays, homely, cozy and a little bit silly. 
You didn't expect even a birthday wish from Hyunjin so it's certainly a surprise when he finds you later in the evening and hands you a small painting of a chrysanthemum. 
“I don't know what to give you so I made a painting of your birth flower, but I know you like blue so I made it blue.” 
“I don't- I didn't know you paint so well Hyunjin, this- it's lovely, you didn't have to. Thank you so much.” He just gives you a small smile, which you return.
The flower is beautiful and you notice it's the exact shade of blue as your outfit. You'll keep the painting safe. 
☆⋆。°⁠☆
There's a couple of weeks left for the competition but your team is making great progress, you're all skilled, Minho is a great mentor and you find that Hyunjin's choreography style is quite similar to yours.
Speaking of Hyunjin, you've been getting along with him better. His jokes aren't as much attacks as they are annoying, he's dramatic and he's stupid but he's also quite thoughtful. Maybe he isn't all that bad.
Hyunjin makes a very unfunny joke and you lightly punch him in the ribs, looking up to find Minho giving you a suspicious look. “What?” He doesn't reply.
When you're all packing up to leave practice when Hyunjin speaks.
“I think we're friends now.” His tone is of false disbelief, he almost looks cute with that exasperated expression.
“God don't say that. I still wanna kill you every time I see you.” You say, but you're laughing. 
You wanna kill him, but you also kind of wanna kiss him. 
Wait. No. 
He's invited over to the dorm today despite his dorm having been fixed long ago. He's bringing Jisung with him, Felix and Jisung are already friends and Minho has taken a unique liking to the boy. 
The offer is of studying together and then later hanging with snacks to find an excuse to ditch a party none of you wanna go to. 
“I call dibs on the big chair!” Jisung yells and Felix claims the next best spot in his own room. Hyunjin settles on the floor because you claim Lix's bed before him and Minho claims another place. 
You throw a folded blanket at him, “Cushion your ass Hwang,” you smirk, “if you have any that is.” Jisung snorts in the corner. “Don't insult the man’s cake like that, yn!” 
A few hours pass with Jisung and Felix chatting between their work and Minho giving them endearing looks, you and Hyunjin just work but you can't help but notice how his eyes flicker to you every other minute. 
You find yourself staring at his lips as his tongue reaches out to wet them, you involuntary mimic his action. He's beautiful, undeniably, but he looks so soft in his pastel blue sweater that you almost forget you used to hate him. You wonder what his hugs feel like.
Wait. No. No, you don't. 
You run to your room to fetch your strawberry lipbalm. 
“Hyunjin put your laptop down for a sec,” he throws you a questioning glance but complies, the other three are too busy to notice what you're doing, the pad of your ring finger swipes the tinted product across his slightly chapped lips, “There.” 
You don't realize what you've until he gulps, “Shit, I'm sorry, I should've asked-”
“Thanks.” He looks a little red and you figure it's the embarrassment of it all. 
You run across Hyunjin again, as he's returning from the kitchen and you're heading there, you walk towards him, not knowing what you're gonna say when the glossy red tint on his lips is so, so enticing. He doesn't protest when your hand is on his face, examining it. 
“The shade suits you.” His breath is uneven and he gulps, you notice his eyes darting down to the same shade on your lips. You don't know why you do it, or how you'll explain it. 
But you kiss him, his lips are every bit as soft as you imagined them to be everytime he bit them. You think you've fucked everything up until he kisses back uncertainly.
You part and your eyes drop down, so does the hand that was previously on his face.  
“I-”, you curse your words for failing you at that moment and the thousand jumbled thoughts in your head that make it difficult to think.
“This never happened.” You say, finally, as you step back. 
“Consider it forgotten.” He confirms. 
Him and Jisung leave after almost an hour, you won't be able to sleep today.
☆⋆。°⁠☆ 
You said ‘this never happened’, you don't have any explanation of why it proceeded to happen many times afterwards. You would talk about it if only you understood what you're feeling, but you don't. And it's not messing anything up and none of you is ready to give the other an explanation.
There's two days left in the competition, and the preparation is finally done. All of you are satisfied with the final choreography and the decided outfits. Maybe you're a tad bit too interested in the pictures Hyunjin shows of him in his outfit.
Minho insisted for a last run with counts before the hour ended. You look at Hyunjin’s form as he dances, he has complete control over what beats he does and doesn't hit, he looks the best here, you think, in his element. Besides there's certain thoughts you have about his tank top and sweaty body, thoughts that you don't wanna acknowledge. The song ends and Hyunjin stops moving, much to your disappointment.
You look straight at him as you play 'Industry baby' and raise an eyebrow at him in challenge. “You first.” He accepts. The things you do to get Hwang Hyunjin dancing again. 
Minho and Felix both cheer on as the dance battle continues. You beat Yunho on this song and both of them know it. You see Hyunjin's eyes widen when you hit a beat in the chorus with your entire body. He whistles and you take that as an ego boost. The battle was in your favor. 
“Admit I'm better than you,” you say to him, he laughs in response, but not in the mocking way you're familiar with.
“It'd be a cold day in whatever hell you came from before I do that.” He raises a brow at you though he's smiling.
“Gotta tell my dad to turn the AC down.” You deadpan and the three boys snort. 
“Are your trauma jokes always necessary?” 
“No but they're funny so..” 
You're at Hyunjin and Han’s dorm after practice and for a godforsaken reason, Minho and Felix are both somewhere else while you sit awkwardly in Hyunjin's desk chair with your drink. He's still in the shower, you were all previously in this room but the three decided to leave you alone with Hyunjin. They're doing that a lot these days. Hyunjin's blow dryer is loud. 
He steps out and you almost choke on your boba. He's shirtless. You look in the opposite direction as fast as you can.
“Don't worry, darling, you can look. I know I'm irresistible.” 
“Shut up before I throw my boba at you.” but you look anyway, he somehow looks better than what you'd imagined was under his tank top. 
This time you let your eyes trail over him, from collarbones to the slightly visible v-line above his sweatpants, just to see who looks away first. He feels your vision on him like it's cold winter air, but doesn't look away. 
You take that as a challenge, you put your drink away and walk to him. He doesn't look away. Your hand finds his waist, he inhales sharply and you pull him to you. Your other hand finds his nape when there's barely any distance left between you. He still doesn't give up. 
“It’s almost like you want me to do something,” you let your eyes run shamelessly across his skin, “tell me to stop.” He doesn't, so you kiss him. And he kisses back, this time with certainty. You let the feeling soak into you for a moment. It's him who takes it further, and you retaliate, you bite his lower lip right when you give his hair a little tug and he gasps into your mouth, his hands roam your body and you let them.  
You push him back until his knees hit his bed and he lets himself fall, his hands find your waist again as soon as you're straddling him, this time your hand is on his neck instead of his hair, you let him kiss you once more before your lips are attached to his jawline, then down to his collarbone, your teeth nip at his skin and your hand presses at the sides of his neck experimentally, his arms tighten around you and he moans. You peel yourself away from him to look at his face, the redness from his face has bled down his neck to half his chest. Cute.
“You're.. extremely red.” You say.
“Shut up.” 
“Like.. cherry red.” You tease.
“Go to hell.” You laugh but gasp when he pulls you down to lay over him and engulfs you in a sort of bear hug. It feels surprisingly nice. 
“I can't go back home right now but your company is a better substitute for hell don't you think?” He pushes you off of him at that. 
“Hey I was kidding-” 
There's a knock on the door and Hyunjin runs for his shirt and you run to fix your hair and grab your drink.
“What’re you guys doing in there with the door closed?” It's Han. You'd strangle him if he wasn't Minho's favorite.  
“Mind your own Jisung, I just got out of the shower!” Hyunjin yells, “And y'all were the ones who left me alone here what the fuck Han?” You add. 
There's things one only notices when they're very, very close to someone. Hyunjin has a faint mole under his left eye.
☆⋆。°⁠☆
It's competition day and you have a problem. In the heat of the moment, you'd forgotten how low cut his stage outfit was. Now you're trying not to look as Jisung and Felix interrogate Hyunjin about where he got the hickeys from. He doesn't give anything away, thankfully, you're not ready to explain something you're not even sure about, but Minho has been awfully quiet and you think he's suspecting something. 
All thoughts leave your head as you hear the host of the evening start introducing the event, the order of performances is announced and Ateez is called on first, everyone expects them to win. There's a few more teams before you and your team is close to the last, you count a few possible opponents who are good competition, like the Soobin and Yeji’s teams, you know most of the participants from Uni. 
Watching others perform, you can feel the familiar pre performance adrenaline taking over. You love it. This rush is part of the reason you do dance competitively. 
Hyunjin comes up to you and gives your hand a little squeeze, “let's kill this yeah?” “Oh we absolutely will.” 
And you do. The cheers get louder as the performance progresses and choosing a song this heavy on beats may have cost all of you your lungs during practice, but you move like you know each other's bodies and Ateez doesn't look so smug anymore. The hyped crowd is all so worth it. 
As Felix predicted, the bridge is the part which gets the loudest cheers.
There's only two performances after yours and the results come in soon after. The host thanks the sponsors and announces the positions bottom to top. Yeji’s teams is runner up.
Soobin’s team is third. The boys hug each other before they run to collect their prize, their friends cheer for them. But your heart starts beating violently soon afterwards, you're standing behind MinLix, so Hyunjin takes your hand, he's jittery so you let him.
Ateez, Hongjoong’s team, is second. You heave a sigh of relief and Hyunjin relaxes, though he doesn't let go of your hand. Ateez boys look upset and you suppress the urge to smile. 
Your team is announced first place and the four of you jump in joy and you hear Jisung screaming from the audience. 
You're all dizzy with laughter when Jisung excuses himself to go to the bathroom and MinLix leave to find a friend. Why do they keep doing that? 
Ateez takes this as an appropriate time to approach you two, though they don't even acknowledge your presence. Yunho keeps looking the opposite way, he always does that around you since he was beaten in the dance battle.
“You won't always keep winning Hwang.” Hyunjin rolls his eyes at him but looks uncomfortable, you identify this boy as Wooyoung. A more slender boy? person? human? approaches next with shocked eyes. 
“Is that a hickey, Jinnie?” Though he uses a nickname, it's clear that he means nothing good when he pokes Hyunjin's collarbone with his finger. Hyunjin mumbles a ‘shut up’ but they ignore him. Hyunjin looks like he'd rather be anywhere than here. The next one to say something is Hongjoong, you've seen him around. He's no good.
“Looks like the pretty boy has finally found himself a girlfriend. Or did you find a sugar daddy, Hyunjin? Where'd you get the hickey from?” The whole group snickers behind him and Hyunjin is clenching his jaw. He looks angry and you decide to do something.
“Well he got it from me. You got a problem with that?” You raise a brow at the man, he's barely taller than you.
“Oh come on, l/n. Everyone knows you hate him. Why defend him just because he's on your team?” You take a step further, and look directly at him. 
“Are you calling me a liar, Kim Hongjoong?” He smirks back at you and you never thought any smirk except Hyunjin's could ever make you this angry, but you wanna punch him in the face right here. 
“No, l/n. I'm just saying that's a little difficult to believe considering you were at each other's throats not long ago. If you want us to believe, why don't you give us some proof, eh?” He sneers, clearly expecting you to falter and deny the whole thing.
You laugh at his face, “You want proof huh? Well, how about this?” You turn and kiss Hyunjin, with your arms around his shoulders and his around your torso. Deep enough to make them uncomfortable.
“Alright we get the point. Enough. You're in public, l/n.” When you part, Hyunjin smiles at them in a way you know will piss them off. Because it did the same to you not long ago.
“Well you're the one who wanted proof Kim. Now fuck right off. If I see you bothering my arch enemy again, you won't be allowed into the art history class anymore. Mark my words.” 
You drag Hyunjin to a quiet corner, away from the crowd and shoot a text to the other boys telling them to meet you both at Hyunjin's dorm. 
You check up on the boy and he looks miserable. “Hey. You fine? I'm sorry I should have let you deal with it without interfering.” You apologize but he shakes his head.
“No, that was really funny, I'm sure it pissed them off, just- I'm sorry you had to witness that.” He looks dejected and you can't find it even in the cruelest parts of you to not help him.
“Hey. Listen. I don't care what they think of themselves but they don't deserve to make you feel bad about anything. And I don't think any less of you because they decide to be assholes, if anything I respect you more now.” He gives you a small nod and a smile, this time, an actual, genuine smile.
“Would mind if I just..” he wraps his arms around you and his head comes to rest on your shoulder, “stay like this for a bit?” You hug him back and nothing needs to be said for a while. Hyunjin's hugs do feel nice.
When you bring him back to his dorm, the joke on the tip of Jisung’s tongue doesn't get the chance to escape. He looks concerned for Hyunjin, that's the first time you've seen the boy serious. They exchange glances and it's like he just knows what happened. 
The evening is a quiet sort of celebratory, and you find yourself trying to avoid Hyunjin as much as possible. How are you going to explain anything you're feeling to him when you can't even explain it to yourself? Minho and Jisung make everyone ramen and a sleepover ensues. You're all in Jisung’s room, him and Minho in the same bed, you, Felix and Hyunjin on the floor. Why Hyunjin's not in his own bed is weird to you. Maybe sleepover spirit.
When you wake up to get water you find Hyunjin isn't in his place anymore. He isn't in the kitchen either. You're avoiding him but you don't wanna be the prime suspect if he's found dead. 
You roam around and find him his room, sketching in the faint light of his night light like the lunatic he is, you smack the back of his head, you forgot how dramatic he can be, and you have to cover his mouth so he doesn't scream. “Shut up, you idiot. It's me,” he licks your hand, “eww. Filthy.” You wipe the hand on his shoulder.
“You literally made out with me in public, how's that filthy?” You notice what he's wearing, a white shirt, with the first two buttons undone. You smack him again.
“You idiotic dunce! Do you wanna catch a fucking cold it's literally late November!” He winces and reaches for the sweater beside him, you try to see what he's sketching but he hides it with almost superhuman speed. “Chill Hyunjin, I don't wanna spy on you.” 
“Why are you awake?” He asks.
“I could ask you the same thing.” 
“I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep.” 
“Samesies. Though unlike you, I don't voluntarily ruin my eyesight when I wake up a bit too early.” You gesture to the lack of light and he sighs.
“What do you do then?” The question catches you off-guard, it sounds genuine and for some reason you answer it genuinely.
“I write poems. In light.”
“Poems about what?” 
“That's none of your business.” Your voice suddenly sounds cold and you curse yourself for turning out so hostile with your reply. 
“Sorry. I won't intrude-”
“No. I- I don't like sharing it. I don't like sharing at all actually.”
“I get that. There's parts of me I don't like sharing either. Don't feel bad about it.”
“Why didn't I ever notice how thoughtful you are?” 
“Maybe cuz you never tried to.” He presses his lips together and you suddenly feel bad about yourself. 
“Hey,” he says, “I wanna say sorry. I know how much of an asshole I've been to you. It doesn't deserve much forgiveness but it's bothering me a lot. So I say it again: I'm sorry for everything I've said and done.”
You search your brain for any reasons to not forgive him. But with the way he's been the last month, you don't find any. “I forgive you.” You say, and it's like some invisible tension is released from his body. He smiles at you. “Thank you.” 
“Hyunjin?” 
“Yes?” 
“Let's get to know each other more.”
“How?” 
“I'll ask a question, we both answer it, then you ask one.” He nods, so you ask.
“What's something you'd do if money wasn't a factor? I'd be a philosopher or a writer.” 
“I'd be an artist or a dancer maybe. If you could live in one fictional universe, which one would it be? I'd love to be in the Harry Potter universe but the author’s racist.” 
“I think I'd like to live in either Dan Brown's or Rick Riordan’s books.” 
“What's something you wish more people in the world understood?”
That night you feel closer to him than you've ever been. You discover Hyunjin is an incredibly sentimental person, he also is a romantic, he's an only child, his parents are divorced, he has a dog back at home. So many things you never knew about him. He's flawed, you're flawed, but he’s not a bad human being. You hope you aren't one either. 
Ofcourse him being a thoughtful person doesn't rule out the annoying ass he is.
You both don't go to sleep again, you chat while he continues his drawing and you scroll through your notes app editing your writings. You find yourself enjoying his company. Two months ago, if someone told you you'd find peace around him, you would have laughed. 
The five of you seem to stay together almost all the time now that Jisung is also a part of the group. The text comes when you're all out eating a few days later. Minho is offended when you forget to answer his question in favor of staring at your phone. When he sees your expression is when he realizes something's off. 
“What's wrong?” He says, and everyone’s eyes are on you. 
“He wants to meet me. Tomorrow. He's coming here.” Minho doesn't need another word to understand what you're talking about, but the rest of the boys stay confused. Yet no one questions why you excuse yourself in the middle of the meal to go back home. 
Minho doesn't disturb you when you lock yourself in the room you both share, choosing to sleep in Felix’s room instead. He knows you'll need to deal with your father alone. Even if the man refuses to let you be when you've practically abandoned him. 
The next day you leave the house after they're both gone for their last classes. You don't expect the meeting with your father to be anything good, but you know that he'll hunt you down to your dorm or lectures if you don't go where he wants you.  
He never is genuinely happy to see you, you learnt to tell his expressions apart when you were 8, and his smile right now is definitely a fake. He orders a coffee for himself and you politely deny his offer to get you one as well.
He says the same thing he does every time you meet him, trying to convince you of God knows what. You're tired of having this same conversation over and over again.
“Don't do this to me. You're my child.”
“I’m not just your child, I'm a person. You've done enough damage. Stay away from me.” 
“But how can you leave me alone? I'm getting older and I have no one to rely on-” 
“And whose fault is that?” 
“I'm sorry! Ok? But you don't respect me, can't I even want respect and company from my child?” The statement makes you wanna punch him but you just laugh. 
“Don't start talking about respect. Respect is earned, and you did nothing to earn it. And if you couldn't give me the love and support you should have given your child, at least give me the privacy and independence every human deserves.” 
“But-”
“I told you that day. I don't know you anymore. It'd be wise of you to stay away from me if you don't want the police called on you.” 
He tries to say more but you just walk out of the cafe and back to your dorm. You know he won't follow you. He's too egoistic for that. 
☆⋆。°⁠☆
Minho hasn't slept in his own bed for two days, and you haven't seen sunlight in quite a while. The stream of texts your father sent you after your meeting, accusing you of being an ungrateful offspring and a useless human were much more depressing than the real conversation, the one you didn't allow to happen. Finally blocking him felt good nonetheless. You're tired of the responsibility of interacting with him.
You get out of bed and your entire body feels stiff, and your eyes are glitching. Maybe keeping the blinds down for two whole days wasn't a good idea. And you smell. But you still can't find the willpower to shower. 
There's a knock on your door. Minho.
“Yn? You there? I need something from my closet.” You open the door for him and his demeanor softens at your state. He knows you since highschool, he's the only one who knows what's going on and the extent to which it matters.
“Hey. Why don't you go shower, hm? The boys are all outside, they're concerned cuz they haven't seen you for some time but I'll tell them not to worry, ok?” You probably should shower. You nod at him and step out to go to the bathroom. 
Your body feels a lot better afterwards, but the world still sort of feels colorless, you decide to go get some food other than the snacks you lived on for two days. Maybe some actual food will make you feel better. There's a sticky note from Minho addressed to you on the microwave.
‘your meal inside :) finish it all’ 
You smile. He never stops taking care of all of you, that's how he shows you love.
The meal makes you feel a little alive, but the color in your world is still absent.
The boys ask you if you're ok on you way back to your room, you give them a small smile and true to Minho's words, none of them tries to dig you for information. You do notice the unexpected concern on Hyunjin's face. Weird.
Maybe you should go to your classes tomorrow.
The crowd of the noon classes will never be something you like, but at least your first class is something you like and share with Hyunjin and Felix. You zone out somewhere in the middle of the lecture and your brain, your actual enemy, decides to give you thoughts about your upbringing. No matter how hard you try to focus on something else, your mind gets stuck on how unfair your father always was to you. How he deserves to die alone. How you don't feel sorry for saying that. Your lungs have been restricted since that day, but it's becoming more difficult for you to breathe every minute. You need to get out of here. You really need to get out of the crowd before you start hyperventilating.
Hyunjin saw you hurriedly ask the professor to excuse you, he asked the professor to let him go after you, and seeing how you looked, the professor let him. 
You haven't had a meltdown in a long time and your lungs burn as your breathing becomes labored, you find a quiet corridor to hide from the footsteps behind you. 
Your legs go weak and the weight of the ceiling doubles and presses down on your head. You drop to your knees. 
“Yn!” His hand is on your shoulder and you swat it away before you can even comprehend it. Things are too fast, way too fast for your brain to help. 
“Get away!” You can't have him here right now, not when you're vulnerable and he has the power to rip you apart. Your brain doesn't trust him with this.
“Let me help-” 
“I don't need help! Es- Especially from you.” You never see the hurt that flashes in his eyes because something that feels like a strong blow to your chest knocks the air out of your lungs. You clutch your top, even the fabric feeling like a restriction on breathing. 
You hear him mumble a ‘fuck it'  before he knnels down beside you and you're pressed to his chest in a protective hug. Your mental barrier collapses. 
Tears escape you like a dam overflowing, your brain not functional enough to form a coherent sentence. Years of bottled up hurt, the emotionally overwhelming events of the last few days and the unpleasant reminders of everything you lack flow out in ugly sobs as Hyunjin runs a comforting hand across your back. No questions asked. You surprise yourself with how broken your crying sounds.
Your breathing is choked and painful, quite like your life in your childhood home. But there was no one to help you calm down there, no one telling you ‘its okay, you're safe, try to follow my breathing hm?’
You follow his instructions the best you can, calming down enough for some air to flow into your lungs. He makes you drink water and runs to the lecture hall to fetch both of your backpacks. He takes you back to your dorm and gets you a snack without asking a single question. He deems your own room too depressing for you to stay in so he brings you to the kitchen. He observes you carefully until he's sure you're fine.
“I know you don't trust me to help you,” he sighs and regret washes over you like a wave, “forget about the rest of your classes today, get some rest. I'll go back now-” He reaches for his backpack when you speak up. 
“Hyunjin- wait.” He says nothing, but just looks at you, wanting you to continue. 
“Stay,” you say, your eyes still burn from the crying and you don't want to feel alone anymore, “please.” 
He sighs and sets the backpack down. 
“I don't want you to tell me everything, but I can't help if I have no idea what's wrong.” 
He lets you reach out to hug him, you ignore all the confusing feelings in the back of your head. 
“I'm sorry. Even talking about it reminds me of the details. And that usually ends up worse than what happened a few minutes ago.” 
“Mhm.” His hand pats down your messed up hair and you don't remember a touch ever being this comforting.
“It's my dad. I met him a couple days ago, he tried to get me to stay around because apparently he doesn't wanna die alone. But I refused and walked out. He resorted to his old behavior and flooded my texts with all the things he always keeps saying about me. About how I'm useless, no good at anything I do, disrespectful and not worthy of any love and things like that. It got to me more than it should have, but hey, I finally blocked him.”
“I'm proud of you for doing that. And let me tell you something. You're incredibly good at everything you do. You're so smart, and such a good dancer. I was so jealous of you when I first met you.” He says, and you believe him despite your brain saying he's lying to you. 
“Your friends all love you so much. Would you really let a man with no company tell you whether you deserve love or not?”
“But I haven't earned it. I've done nothing to deserve that love.” He makes a disbelieving sound at the statement.
“Love isn't something you have to earn, it's something that is given out of will. And if someone gives you their love without you asking for it. Then you certainly deserve it. Whoever tries to tell you otherwise is lying to you, ok? It took me a while to understand this but trust me. It's the truth.” You nod into his shoulder before you break the hug to look at him. 
“Since when do you care about me, huh?” You joke, not even expecting an answer but he gives you one. 
“Since when? I don't know. All I know is I care about you a lot. I don't like seeing you hurt. Which, again, makes me feel guilty as fuck for acting like I did to you. I don't know why I was so selfis-” 
“Shh, it's in the past now, we're even. I don't mind having you around now.” 
“Is that you being soft for me darling?” There goes his teasing, this warrants the punch in the rib you give him. He grunts in response but laughs anyway. 
“Would you find it funny if I ask you for cuddles right now?” You say, and he looks surprised, but happy nonetheless. 
“I'd find it adorable.” You drag him to your bed. 
“We need to make your room look less depressing after this okay?” He says and you nod before you let yourself fall on top of him, getting an ‘oof’ in reply before he arms come up to hold you. 
You feel puzzled about this whole situation with him and matter how much you like it, you need to clarify it. 
“Hey, Hyunjin?” He hums.
“This, whatever it is, do you want it? Should we like, talk about it?” He doesn't get angry like you expected him to, but replies calmly. 
“I like whatever it is. If you wanna talk about it, we should. I'm not sure I even have a name for it though.”
“I don't have one either. I don't really understand feelings. But I don't want this to stop. Do you?” 
“No. No I don't.”
“Minho knows something's up with us.” 
“I know, I've seen him looking at us suspiciously, though I don't think he hates it though.”
“He's my insurance. Just know he'll murder if you decide to become a bitch to me again.” 
“I won't. Promise.”
You're both up before the other occupants of your dorm come back with Jisung inevitably tagging along. When Minho comes back the first thing he does is check up on you. You tell him about the little breakdown and Hyunjin helping you. He stares at Hyunjin for a good minute as if gauging him for signs of danger but then shrugs and thanks him.
You explain your complicated relationship with your father in minimal detail to the other two boys just so they don't worry too much in uncertainty. It is decided that everyone will go out together to eat and celebrate the upcoming winter break. 
You don't go home for winter break, but Felix and Minho do, so does Jisung, so it's just you and Hyunjin together for Christmas. You don't hate the prospect. 
Two days after the three boys are gone you two decide it's better staying in one place than continuously having to meet each other to prepare for the celebration. You don't hate this either. 
Hyunjin is fun to be around, he's hilarious on top of being beautiful, you're almost sure you have feelings for him, feelings of what sort and how deep, that you don't know. Maybe you'll add one more poem about it to the collection that has been growing everyday. 
You learn he's much more affectionate than you thought he'd be, he's almost always close to you. He isn't clingy per se, but he's always close. Like right now. 
You're trying one of Minho’s recipes and he has got you convinced there's flour on your face, though you're sure you've added more flour to your face in your attempts to remove the original bit because he's laughing like you're a clown. 
“Hyunjin if you're not helping I'm going to the bathroom to wash it off-”
“Wait.” He cups your face and swipes his thumb at your jaw to get the first bit off, he's closer than he needs to be, though you don't think you care. The second bit of flour is on your forehead apparently, that's where his hand is even though his eyes are on your lips. You're almost certain he wants to kiss you. So you do the next reasonable thing. 
Put flour on his nose and run. 
“Hey! Not fair!” He tries to catch you but fails, and like you're toddlers, a game of chase starts.
“Come back here!” He laughs and you return it. 
“Nope. Not coming back there.” You run up to Lix's room.
“Alright have it your way.” He grabs a pillow and before you can tell him no, you're in the middle of a pillow fight. He tries to hit you on the head but misses, and your pillow lands square in his face. He recovers soon after though, and somehow manages to snatch away your pillow and pin you down on the bed.
You're both dizzy with laughter. “All I wanted was a kiss! The betrayal! I want payback!” He complains like the dramatic toddler he is. “Well deal with it Hwang. You're not getting any kisses on Lix’s bed, have some shame.” You push him off in a moment of weakness and take off again.
“NOT AGAIN!”
“The stuff in the oven will burn dumbass!” 
The dinner is made and eaten without incident, thankfully. You make Hyunjin sleep in Felix's room, being pretty doesn't give him an automatic ticket to yours, you like occupying all the space by yourself.
☆⋆。°⁠☆
You're cold. Too cold. It's almost as if the coldness has seeped into your bones. With every moment the pressure on your body increases, you feel like you're drowning, when your eyes open all you see is a distorted sheet of blue. You are drowning. Your body is slowly sinking deeper. The pressure is pressing down on your brain and your ribs, you call for help but your words aren't heard, not even by you. You scream but no sound escapes your watery prison, you strain your throat with how hard you're trying to make a sound, to scream for help- 
You wake hyperventilating, like you always do from this same nightmare. It takes you a good minute to catch your breath. 
The next thing you do is calculate how much self respect you can sacrifice from your dwindling resources to fall asleep again. Because you certainly won't be able to sleep alone for the rest of the night. 
His door’s open. Maybe disturbing him a little wouldn't hurt? Well that would be the case if he were sleeping. 
“Are you fucking nocturnal?” You say, and you watch him jump and the phone fall from his hand.
“God who even lurks in the dark like that? How do you not make a sound? Are you a vampire?” 
“I dunno. Instincts. Not a vampire though, sadly. Why’re you up?”
“Can't sleep. You?”
“Stupid dream.” You seat yourself beside him. You both seem to have something against sleeping properly.
“Wanna talk about it?” He's put his phone down, you notice. 
“Only if you tell me why you never sleep.” He contemplates for a moment then shrugs. 
“No details but nights never meant good things for me growing up. I'm a light sleeper and on the bad days even footsteps wake me up. Sometimes I can't sleep at all.” He shrugs.
“I can sleep most nights, but I have this recurring dream where I'm drowning for some reason. I can't sleep after waking up from that one. Why are nights bad for you? Memories?” 
“Yeah. I don't like talking about it.” 
“You wanna try going back to sleep or you wanna do something else?” You ask.
“I’d go back to sleep but it seems impossible now.” You don't remember ever relating to him as much as you do right now.
“C'mere.” You gesture to the space beside you, to your surprise he doesn't protest. “Talk to me about anything until it's morning or one of us starts feeling sleepy.” And he does. Your discussion goes from fiction to emotions to the way people behave and then back to anime then to art to poetry and then what not. But when you wake up, there's so much light in the room that you're almost sure it's noon. And you can't move. 
“Hyunjin. Wake up.” He doesn't. “Hyunjin! You stupid ferret, get off me.” He budges a little at that. So much for claiming to be a light sleeper huh? You need to push him off of you before you can get up and check the time. 
11:40 am. Wow. That's a solid 7 hours of sleep. 
You get up to clean up and find something to eat. By the time you shower and dig into your bowl of cereal, Hyunjin finds his way to the kitchen with a puffy face. Adorable. 
“Good Morning, ferret. Sleep well?” You joke. 
“Very well actually, why're you eating cereal…. sitting on the table?” 
“I dunno,” you shrug, “seemed fun.”
You're never witnessed an actually groggy Hyunjin before this and it's hilarious. He's dazed and almost hit his head on the counter. Thrice. It's almost surprising that he manages to get himself water without breaking anything.
“You left me alone.” He complains when you're done washing your cereal bowl. 
“Well I'm sorry but I had to. I was hungry.” 
“No fair.” In a few seconds you discover handling the weight of a tall guy is quite a task. Is it a hug or are you being crushed to death? You're not sure. “Ok I'm sorry let me breathe please!” 
You can finally breathe when he lets go of you, “Now go shower. Your breath’s nasty.” He doesn't reply but just messes up your hair before running off. 
☆⋆。°⁠☆
You should have known. Maybe you can't let good things happen to yourself without attempting to destroy them.
“You're not the brightest outside class, are you Hwang?” You're watching him struggle with figuring out what spice is what. 
“You only say that cuz you're jealous of my class smarts.” He rolls his eyes at you.
“Oh please, you were behind me by a whole grade in two classes last semester.”
“That wasn't my 100%, I had stuff to deal with.” 
“All excuses, aren't they?” 
“Everything is a competition for you isn't it?” He sounds disappointed but you're not the bigger person.
“Isn't it for you too?” 
“No it isn't. Forgive me for not wanting to compete for everything in my life.” 
“Why? Scared?” The conversation escalates before you realize it and you blame your tendency to argue with him.
“Why are you so obsessed with being the best?” He's no longer calm.
“You tell me. You were the one mocking me for always being second for a whole damn year!”
“Oh come on, there's more to it! Why are you so fragile about it?” 
“You and your taunts are all there is to it and I'm reacting like anyone would. Why were you so insistent on beating me in everything?” 
“Oh, come on! There's definitely stuff you're not saying, why can't you open up to me?” 
“I don't want to say anything. Why the fuck do you even want me to open up to you?” 
“Because I want to fix this!” 
“And why does fixing it matter?” 
“Because I like you god damn it! Are you that dumb?” 
“Bullshit. You suddenly like me after a whole year of hating me huh?” 
“Why else do you think I'm doing this? Why else would I agree to this?” 
“Maybe cuz it'd make for a very funny scenario don't you think? ‘Hey look at them developing feelings for me just because we stopped trying to kill each other’ sounds hilarious doesn't it?” You don't even know where all this is coming from but you never completely ruled out the prospect of all this being an act on his side. 
He didn't think so, that much is visible on his face when you finally find the guts to look at him. Fuck. You just can't stop hurting people in your life huh? 
“I'm sorry.” You apologize before you turn to leave, but he doesn't let you. Instead of being angry like you thought he'd be, he just pulls you into a hug. The gesture does something to you that you can't quite figure out. 
“Let go of me.” You don't want him to, but you can't find the courage to face this. You're too weak.
“No. I'm not letting you go anywhere.” 
“I don't deserve this Hyunjin. Staying for me will get you nowhere. You're stupid if you-”
“Well, I’m sorry I fell in love with you, okay? But it happened and I can’t do shit about it.” 
“You… what?” That's not a confession one would expect out of him. But you can't say you didn't do the same.
“You heard me. And I'm not letting you leave without even trying.” You've never heard so much emotion in his voice, even in the few months that you both spent together, you're sure his eyes would be glossy if you look at him now. So you don't.
“But-”
“We need to sort this out, yeah? You can't keep running from everything.” 
Your tears always choose the worst time to appear. 
“I'm so fucking sorry, I didn't-, I'm not…… used to feeling this way ok?” 
“I know. And that's fine. I never expected this to be easy. It's okay.”
“I'm sorry I- I want to trust you. I want to. But it's so difficult..” 
“I don't blame you. We both barely know about the things that we had to deal with. Trust doesn't happen without communication does it? That's why we need to talk to each other. About everything. Even the stuff we don't like sharing. Nothing will work without that, right?” 
It feels like he knows how to take your jumbled up mess of thoughts and feelings and make sense of it in ways you don't even understand. So you talk, about everything you don't like sharing, about your fears and their origins, about the troubles you have with trusting people, about the insecurities you relate to your image, about the pressure you keep putting on yourself to be the best there is and why you do so. 
And he does too, about the way he feels out of control of everything and why that happens, how it feels like an obligation to put his own feelings aside and live by the reputation expected of him, about why loud footsteps or just loud sounds scare him, why yelling brings back bad memories, how he feels like he's carrying a heavy weight from his past along with him wherever he goes, how his coping mechanisms have caused both of you damage. 
And by the end of the conversation it doesn't feel so difficult to trust him anymore. He wouldn't hurt you, not on purpose at least. If he does, well, maybe you want to take the chance. For the sake of it. Maybe you don't hate the feeling of vulnerability. 
“If I fuck this up,” you look at him as you speak, “promise me you'll leave.” 
“You won't. I know.” 
“I hope you're right. I'm sorry for being so stupid.” 
“If we want this to work the first thing you'll have to do is stop apologizing for everything.” It's almost like you're a toddler being scolded. 
“I'm sorr-”
“Not again.” 
“Shit my bad-”
“Hey!”
“Okay! I get it! No saying sorry for everything.” 
“Good.” 
You like his hugs. They're warm. But you also like chaos. So you pinch his waist, the boy is dramatic, of course he jumps and looks at you with the most disbelieving wide eyes.
“What was that for?” 
“That was for being stupidly pretty.”
“So we're doing compliments now, darling?” He's never gonna stop doing this is he?
“If you use the tease voice I'll pinch you harder I swear.”
“Not sure I'd mind,” before he can finish the sentence though, you have him trapped between your arms and the dinner table, he seems quite happy with it, “you seem to like me quite a lot, don't you darling?” 
“And? What if I do?” 
☆⋆。°⁠☆
Your roommates expected to find stuff when they returned from their homes, but stuff definitely didn't include you and Hyunjin arguing over who gets the last piece of cake. The fight seemed…. unserious.
They definitely didn't expect it to end in you and him sharing the last bit. You and Hyunjin. Sharing. Unheard of.
The real surprise came when they were done unpacking. You caught Felix in his room. 
“Hey Lix, guess what?” Poor sweet soul of his, already interested in what you have to say.
“What?”
“I'm dating someone.”
“WHAT? Who?!” 
“Try guessing.” He looks confused but attempts nonetheless.
“Soyeon?” 
“Look I mentioned her being hot one time. That don't mean I'm dating her.” 
“Then who?” 
“Who did I spend winter with?” He gives you a look that says ‘bitch tf’.
“Oh come on. I may be a little clueless but there's no fucking way you're dating Hwang Hyunjin.”
“Oh yeah? Why don't you go ask him? He's explaining the same thing to Minho right now.” 
You find them in the kitchen, and as you expected, Minho looks like it's a normal day for him. No surprise at all. 
Felix however, is quite close to losing it. 
“Hyunjin. Tell me they're making a fool of me.” He says, but Hyunjin stays silent and you fear Felix is actually on the brink of insanity. 
“What the fuck.” It's almost a whisper when he says it. Both you and Hyunjin cannot hold back your laughter. Their reaction was exactly what you predicted.
Minho is the one who speaks up next.
“Come on, Lix. These two weren’t even that subtle. Where'd you think Hyunjin got that hickey from? Just a few weeks after these two stopped fighting? Why do you think I insisted on leaving them alone together?” 
You knew it was his plan. How else would you end up alone with Hyunjin at the most convenient times ever?
“Lee Minho you little fucker, you better sleep with one eye open.” You joke.
“Look at how ungrateful you are. I helped you and you give me death threats? Betrayal,” he's smiling at you, when he turns to Hyunjin however, he looks murderous, “if I hear you hurt my best friend in any way, the world will run out of places for you to hide in. Trust me on that.” 
“Enough Min, you'll scare away my boyfriend.” 
Boyfriend huh? That felt nice to say. 
“Now who's gonna tell Jisung?” 
“Let's all just head to his dorm. Help the boy with unpacking too.” 
“You seem keen on meeting him, Min. What's the matter?” The question only gets you elbowed in the rib.
Jisung's reaction is as loud as you anticipated but he doesn't seem too surprised, you ask him why.
“Oh Hyunjin always rants about things, I'm his roommate, I figured something was up with you.” 
Later, when you have your boyfriend to yourself, you decide to ask him about it.
“So, about what Jisung said”
“Don't believe him, I beg you.”
“Save the begging for other things, I'd say it's pretty plausible, considering you rant about a lot.”
“I do NOT monologue about my crushes, case closed.” Hyunjin really needs to control his fidgeting if he wants to get away with lying. 
You cup his face, “Why are you denying it? It's adorable.” 
“Not funny?”
“Maybe a little funny.” The urge to kiss his nose is strong, so you don't fight it. You die a little when he scrunches up his face on reflex. 
He's adorable and maybe you're a little obsessed.
“I can't believe cornering you somewhere is all it takes to make you blush!” You laugh, because you have him cornered right now. Against his desk this time. 
“It is not!” He defends himself to no avail, it makes you laugh, you're growing increasingly fond of him. 
“Such a pretty liar, huh? Quit trying to deny it, love.” That's the first affectionate nickname you've given him. And its effect is visible, if the smile on his face is anything to go by.
“Shut up and kiss me.” 
“How demanding.” But you do it anyway. And he takes it forward, like he does everytime, this time you're not confused. You want him. He wants you. And it's the best feeling ever. If he walks out of this room with hickeys later on, you don't need to act clueless. He's yours. 
But with the way his lips attach to your skin, maybe you'll be the target of your friends’ judgemental glances as well this time. You don't mind. You're his. 
If Jisung comes knocking now you're pretty sure you won't hear it over Hyunjin. The boy is sensitive. 
“Maybe getting those two together was a bad idea, I can hear them and I'm sitting in a different room!” 
“Leave them alone, let's go to ours. We can't keep sitting here any longer like we're not hearing anything.” 
☆⋆。°⁠☆
Hwang Hyunjin, how you love him and how his existence is a slap in the face of your father. He's everything good. But first off he's yours. And he loves you. Maybe clay doesn't need to be broken to be fixed, maybe if you just paint over the fingerprints and love the shapes as they are, you'll see some beauty in it. Hyunjin sees beauty in you that's for sure, he never seems to get tired of drawing you, being someone's muse is a wonderful feeling. He's your muse as well though, with the entire collection of writings he's prompted by simply existing. You recited some to him one day, maybe you'll give him a handwritten version of the rest on his birthday.
You think it's ironic, you're back where you started, movie night in your dorm. Only this time you're tangled up with Hyunjin and the three boys are in a weird heap of limbs. Whatever they are, they're your friends. You're not gonna judge. 
But they will definitely keep judging the PDA Hyunjin makes them all witness. 
“You're both disgusting!” It's Jisung, and he's pulled back to sit by a worked up Felix. “He meant disgustingly cute!” 
“Why are you running damage control? They are disgusting.” That's Minho, just trying to eat his pudding.
This is how you like stuff, cozy, homelike, and a little bit silly.  
“HWANG HYUNJIN DID YOU EAT THE LAST CUPCAKE?” 
“I didn't know it was yours!” You will chase him around the place until you get payback. You can hear the other boys laughing their asses off at how terrified Hyunjin is. 
He tries to take off in the opposite direction of you but is a few seconds late. 
“Caught ya! Now apologize!” You pinch his ear and his yelp is the most amusing thing for Jisung, it seems.
“Ow! I'm sorry your majesty! I will never touch your food again.” You almost think you've won before he runs off. You catch him again, obviously. This time in your room. 
“You little thief Hwang, I hate you.” You're out of breath and you're laughing. “Hate and love, same thing aren't they, darling?” He will never stop with that teasing tone. 
“Hmm, maybe you need a better lesson. You're lucky you're pretty, love.” His hair is messed up and he's slightly out of breath, there's a lopsided grin on his face. He's probably the prettiest being to ever exist.
You lean close and the expression on his face shifts a little, he looks a little doubtful, uncertain, almost vulnerable.
“Do you really want me?” He wants you to affirm it, to assure him.
“You know I do.”
☆⋆。°⁠☆
208 notes · View notes
carlyraejepsans · 6 months ago
Note
someone else asked about when you think Chara fell and adjacent thoughts about the UT timeline and it got me wondering: how old do you think the characters are? I’m of the opinion that a lot of monsters we come across are closer to human ages, though I know there are probably incongruities with actual canon if that’s the case
I'm the same as you, actually! my take is something like "developmental times are the same up to adulthood, monsters just live longer once fully developed (i was thinking 40-50 years age range) and die later compared to humans".
as for the main characters, my headcanons are roughly
papyrus: 20 (coolskeleton95)
undyne: 24 (strongfish91)
sans: 32 (28 in deltarune)
alphys: 27 (just vibes)
mettaton: uhhhh ghost. he's been a robot for 1-2 years so far though
toriel: mid 40s when she stopped aging, several centuries old by now, but not quite a millennium yet, maybe in her 700s
asgore: same as toriel, but he was a couple of years younger than her before they stopped aging
chara: 11 when they fell, 13 when they died, but they spent more time with the dreemurrs than it seems via resets, which is why they were so attached to them even if only two years had passed
asriel: died at 12, spent a LOT of time resetting and exploring his newfound powers as flowey, but it didn't exactly contribute much to his development from a psychological and mental perspective. I'd say he's a bit closer to being mentally 13-14 by the time we meet him in canon, but nonetheless, he is EXTREMELY immature, and still obviously a kid
frisk: 12
monster kid: 11
muffet: spiders.
173 notes · View notes
wooahaes · 8 months ago
Text
on repeat
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pairing: non-idol!dk x gn!reader
prompt: soulmate au series. 12/13
word count: ~7.0k
warnings: mentions of food. time loop au. some angst concerning not having a soulmate. also mentioned angst for other member (hao).
daisy’s notes: i feel like this one could have been longer but i didnt want it to get Too long compared to the other fics, yknow?
summary: What started as a day of making deliveries ended in Seokmin waking up on the same day. And then again, and then again… So, wherever you are, he needs to find you if he wants to see Saturday again.
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Seokmin had been living his life on schedule ever since he turned ten. Before that, truly, because his parents had always set something for him (school, play, dinner, bath time, bedtime), but he knew that it became a little different after he turned ten. He had doctors appointments configured into that schedule, and every appointment had his dad holding his hand as the doctor tried yet again to work out what Seokmin's sign could be. Some of them would always be subtle and hard to detect, but there were plenty of things they could figure out.
And then when that list was exhausted, the afternoon doctor's appointments turned into Wednesday afternoon appointments with Dr. Jeon. She'd spoken to Seokmin for their first appointment with his mother sitting next to him, gauging how he truly felt about the fact he might not have a soulmate. He didn't tell her at first that it hurt to be different. Not with his mother next to him, rubbing soothing circles onto his back. He needed to smile for his mom, to be the bubbly boy she knew and loved.
Wednesday afternoon, Seokmin went back alone starting with that second visit. "My classmates made fun of me again for not having a soulmate."
Dr. Jeon had adjusted her bright pink glasses, and frowned at him. "How do you feel about that?"
That they're right, so it shouldn't hurt to hear the truth. "Bad." He'd curled into himself a little more, tugging his jacket closer to himself. Maybe he could disappear if he tried. "I can't help it."
Dr. Jeon's room was lit only by lamps and whatever light made it through the blinds and curtains. She hated the overhead lights (they buzzed loudly and she could never hear herself think, she said), and Seokmin never minded that they were off. The orange glow made things feel oddly safer. So did the fake sunflowers on her desk, tucked away behind her behemoth of a computer (Dr. Jeon said she could never keep them alive if they were real). As much as he wanted to disappear, he felt safe here. Dr. Jeon wasn't his mom. He didn't have to pretend for Dr. Jeon.
"I wish I had a soulmate," his voice was quieter that time. "Some of my classmates think something's wrong with me. That..."
She looked up from where she's been jotting something down. "That?" She prodded in that inquisitive way she did last time they spoke alone for a few minutes, and Seokmin knew he couldn't drop it without feeling guilty. "It's okay, Seokmin. You can take all the time you need."
He didn't meet her gaze. "They think that I'm never gonna be loved."
Dr. Jeon frowned again at his words. "Do your parents love you?"
His head shot up. "Yes! Of course they love me!"
"Do your friends?"
He nodded furiously. "And—And I love my friends. But what does that have to do with my soulmate?"
Dr. Jeon shook her head. "Love comes in many forms, Seokmin. A soulmate's love isn't guaranteed to be romantic, but even if it was, you aren't guaranteed to be with your soulmate. Love takes effort. My husband is a relationship counselor," she twisted her wedding ring around her finger, "and he sees plenty of couples who assume being soulmates is the only thing they need to make it work."
"But..." He furrowed his brow. "I thought soulmates were forever."
"They can be." Dr. Jeon paused. "You're so young, Seokmin, but you'll understand one day. A soulmate represents the possibility of that love, not the only existence of it." She chuckled. "Besides... You're too young to worry about romantic love. But for now, we can work on acceptance."
Acceptance...?
"Whether you have a soulmate or not, Seokmin," she said, the big beads of her earrings clinking together as she set aside her pad of notes, "you're still a person capable of loving others and being loved. It's hard for kids your age to separate out love like this, but you'll realize it as you grow up. There is nothing wrong with not having a soulmate."
Seokmin hadn't been able to accept her words for a while. Every day, he saw something new in the world about soulmates. A new drama based around them, or a new discount to those who can prove they're with their soulmate, or a new magazine with childish quizzes that pretend to predict your soulmate's traits. Every Wednesday, he found himself back on that plush couch and talking about something new. A new thing he's eliminated. Another classmate discovered their sign. News of an intern at his dad's work that found his soulmate (this one Seokmin wasn't supposed to hear). And every week, he left Dr. Jeon's sessions with those words said at the end:
There was nothing wrong with not having a soulmate... So why did Seokmin want one so badly?
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Seokmin grew up. He started college, and he met Minghao through it. Eventually his routine changed as he began to balance work and school and a social life, all while living in a cozy little apartment with Minghao. Make breakfast, go to class, go to work, find time to shove food into his face, deal with more customers... It became a schedule he pretty much lived by with his social life a little less present. He'd get it back one day, hopefully. But he always made time for dinner with Minghao on Friday nights: their one day a week where they’ve completely slowed down together.
Minghao seemed more tired this week. "I'm tired of blue."
Seokmin looked up from his dinner. "Which blue?"
"Calm blue. Not sad. They're fine, wherever they are, and I should be glad for it, but I'm not." Minghao scowled.
Seokmin frowned as he watched Minghao. Their vision is filled with red now, he wanted to say. Are you okay with that? But he didn't, instead reaching out to ruffle his hair. "It'll be okay," he said. "At least they're calm now."
Minghao said nothing. He just sat there, staring, brows drawing together more and more.
"What?"
"It's darker."
His soulmate was upset by something. Seokmin averted his gaze. He kept his thoughts to himself. No doubt Minghao already had them himself: his frustration upset his soulmate. He couldn't help but wonder if that was the kind of person Minghao's soulmate was: someone who empathized even though they had no idea where their own soulmate's feelings were coming from. No doubt their vision would be clouded by those same blues. Minghao could be sharp-tongued and snarky at times, but he wasn't a monster. He worried for them whenever his vision was lit up with fiery reds and deep blues and nauseating green.
"I used to be angry, too, you know." Seokmin kept his focus on his own dinner now. "That I don't have one."
"You know I don't believe that." Minghao had always been one of the ones who, for some reason, believed Seokmin did have a soulmate. His sign just wasn't one of the obvious ones like his or Seungkwan's. But Minghao was reasonable about it, too: Seokmin was the kind of person who could forge his own soulmate if things felt right enough.
Seokmin waved it off. "But I understand being angry. It's something outside of your control, and it's hard to let that... be."
Humans, in Seokmin's experience, liked having control over themselves. He saw it in himself as a child, always wanting to have some choice in what he wore, in the foods he ate. He saw it now, too, in children when he went shopping and saw patient mothers holding up two options for their child to pick from. But he always saw it the most with his friends. The frustration that etched itself into Minghao's brows whenever the colors changed, the subtle annoyance before his thanks when someone pushed Seungcheol toward the right object, the way Seungkwan would flinch from pain sometime and wave off any concern. All things that stemmed from depending entirely upon another person in one way or another. And Seokmin felt it, too, in not having. A soulmate was never a guarantee to have love in your life, after all. Yet Seokmin didn't get to choose whether he would want this person at all. Would he? If he had a soulmate, would he fall for them? He had plenty of love in his heart to give... but would they even want it from him, too?
"You're right," Minghao's voice was softer now. "I think... I want to meet them someday."
Seokmin smiled. "I think you should."
“I’m scared they’ll hate me.” Minghao let out a sigh, staring down at his food for a moment. “So what if they do?”
“Then you’ll figure it out.” Seokmin reached across the table, squeezing Minghao’s hand gently. “If they’re your soulmate… Then they’ll try to understand you. You’ll do the same, right?”
Minghao met his gaze, but said nothing. Today wasn’t a day that he could agree with Seokmin, already too inside his own head. In time, he’d accept it: Seokmin knew he would. He just needed time, and Seokmin was more than happy to give him that and whatever space he needed. He could believe in Minghao’s soulmate enough for the both of them. 
And the day he met them face to face, Seokmin knew he’d been right: Minghao’s soulmate was patient in the way he needed them to be. Understanding, too, without any hidden malice toward him. Exactly what Minghao needed.
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There was a text from Seungcheol in the group chat: dinner at jun's? i'm paying :)
Not everyone was able to make it, of course. It was horribly last minute, but Seokmin figured it had to be important since it was. A few people had their reasons to not be there (work, other things that needed doing). Seokmin, on the other hand, was free from his usual job. All he had was the option to make some deliveries for extra money, and he'd probably spend the day doing that to get some exercise in. He rolled out of bed, got ready for the day, and stepped out of his bedroom to see where Minghao was asleep on the couch. Seokmin paused, brows drawing together until he saw that he was clutching his phone still. Ah. He must have come back late last night and fell asleep while on the phone with his soulmate as they made their way home. Seokmin left him with a blanket draped over him before he headed out for the day. Maybe next time, Minghao would end up asleep in his own room.
He checked the app while waiting for the elevator. Sure enough, there were already delivery orders made. Groceries (he only ever accepted the small orders), food deliveries, flowers... Seokmin scrolled through for the closest pickup to start. He wouldn't mind the long ride to wherever he was delivering to, but there was a flower shop just down the street that Seokmin always loved making deliveries for. Flowers made people happy, after all. One popped up from someone named Minho for someone named Jinki ("a 'thank you' gift for my hyung"), and Seokmin accepted it without another thought. Soon enough he'd taken the elevator down and set out for the day, pedaling his way to the flower shop.
Jinki had been caught off-guard when Seokmin showed up to his workplace with a vase of sunflowers he'd protected with his life. He passed the message onto the man, and made his way out for the next delivery, bumping into an intern on his way out. He'd apologized to her quickly, and started out for another delivery. A grocery delivery for a single dad who was taking care of a sick kid, another run to a store for cat food for a man who'd run low and couldn't leave his apartment easily with a broken leg, a lunch delivery for a young woman at work... Seokmin went about his day like any other, always greeting people with a smile before moving onto the next thing. By the end of the day, he was exhausted, and immediately went to Jun's restaurant to rest.
Jun wordlessly set a cup of water in front of him. "Push these tables together after you wipe them down," he said. "Cheol will be here soon."
Seokmin had waved him off after agreeing, just enjoying a few minutes of downtime. It wasn't even his job—Where the hell was Mingyu?—but Seungcheol had insisted that it was important. He didn't mind helping out if it made things move a little smoother. He made his way to the back to grab the things he needed, and put himself back to work. The tables were wiped down thoroughly, and Seokmin pushed them together before straightening up. The next time the door chimed, Seungcheol had come in with the brightest smile on his face that Seokmin had ever seen.
"What happened?" He asked, pushing a final chair into place. "Minghao texted to say his soulmate had something come up. I'll let him know the good news tonight, okay?"
Seungcheol made his way over, shedding the light jacket he was wearing. "I should wait until the others get here, but..." He paused, and then shook his head. "No—I'll wait. It's important."
Seokmin stood still for a moment, mind already thrumming with possibilities. "It is good news... Right?"
He nodded. "It's..." His gaze softened a little as his smile fell a little. His happiness was still warm and welcoming, but now felt akin to the tenderness of a warm embrace than the crackling fire it had been before. "It's really good news, Seokmin."
The possibilities dwindled by tens and hundreds. No bad news... Which meant this had to be big. A promotion, or maybe he finally heard back from the graduate program he was trying to get into? Seokmin drummed his fingers along the chair he'd been clutching, before tearing him away from it. People began to file in over the next twenty minutes: Jeonghan and Joshua arriving together, Mingyu bursting into the room loudly (yes, Jun, he saw the restaurant was empty—and yes, he enjoyed resting after work) with Soonyoung coming in just a few minutes later, and eventually Vernon and Chan had joined the table while bemoaning a late bus. Mingyu helped Jun serve food as they caught up on life.
“Seungcheol,” Jeonghan called out from the other end of the table, a knowing look on his face. “You wanted to tell them something.”
Seungcheol fought back a smile. “I found them.” 
Immediately, the room went silent. Vernon was staring at him with wide-eyes, mouth agape. Jeonghan was just smiling, clearly having been informed ahead of time—and the same could be said of Joshua, who had this shit-eating grin on his face.
“Well?” Seungcheol pouted. “You aren’t going to say anything?”
“That’s great!” Seokmin decided to say quickly, and he saw the way Seungcheol then smiled. “Do you want us to keep it a secret, or can I tell Minghao?”
“You can tell him,” Seungcheol waved him off. “I just wanted to tell the rest of you. I told Seungkwan—” He then paused, “Speaking of—All of you are terrible!” He scowled a little. “I told him first and he immediately started sending me pictures of myself in ugly outfits you all swore went together!”
Jeonghan snorted, typing something out on his phone. “We didn’t do it all the time, you know.”
Seokmin chuckled, glancing over to where Jun had settled in the chair next to him. “Remember the shirt he wore to this place’s opening?”
Seungcheol let out another whine. “I didn’t know it was neon! Joshua said it wasn’t that bad!”
“It wasn’t!” 
If looks could kill, Joshua would be ash. But Seungcheol had started bickering with him about it (apparently that shirt had been a gift from Joshua… on April fools…), and Seokmin took his chance to steal another dumpling. His phone buzzed, and he glanced down at it to see it was the app he delivered for—there was someone for a restaurant not that far away. He dismissed it. He could use the money, sure, but… He’d stay at least a little longer. Just to see Seungcheol happy.
Fed up with his debate with Joshua (an immovable object against Seungcheol’s unstoppable force), Seungcheol let the topic go for now. “We’re going out on Tuesday, actually,” he said. “I think you guys will like them. We ended up shopping together for a while and talking—they’re really nice, and…”
Seokmin let his mind drift for a moment as he listened, his own heart sinking in his chest. Everyone seemed to be finding their soulmate over this past year. He looked at Jun for a moment. That meant he was the only one who hadn’t found his soulmate yet, right? He couldn’t imagine being the last person, but Jun seemed to be taking it well. Soonyoung, just as Seokmin did, went out on the occasional date—hell, both of them had dated a bit recently before deciding to prioritize other things for a bit. But it was weird knowing that he was going to be on his own now. Even Vernon and Jihoon ended up having soulmates. Seokmin had wanted to hold out hope that maybe that meant he had one, too, but…
The door opened, and in walked someone who looked at the group with wide-eyes. “Sorry—I thought this was still open—”
“It is!” Jun said, getting up and making his way toward the counter. “Sorry, how can I help you?”
The customer had started rambling about their friend, Minho, having been here a few days ago. Seokmin listened as they explained their own soulmate sign—the same as Jun’s—and he felt his feelings swirl inside of him. The computer chirped, and Seokmin moved to see that it was a takeout request. With permission from Jun, Seokmin accepted it and immediately went to snag the delivery request himself. He’d be back before the hour was over, and it’d give him some time to clear his mind. The customer had gone to an empty table, and Jun disappeared into the back to start cooking both their food and the order that Seokmin left hanging on the line.
“Hey.” Vernon had made his way over to the counter, voice lower, “Everything okay?”
Seokmin nodded, quietly sliding a fortune cookie across the counter. “I’m going to make a delivery,” he said. “Just to get some air.”
Vernon slowly nodded, immediately getting it. He’d stepped out when his own struggles were getting to him before he found his own soulmate, after all. “Gotcha. Is it a good tip?”
Seokmin glanced at the screen. Not really, but he didn’t mind: it was a small order and he wasn’t going far. It was better than no tip, at least. “Yeah,” he lied. “I could use the extra money.”
Vernon knew he was lying. But he nodded again, tucking the cookie into his hoodie pocket. “Travel safe, dude.”
All too quickly, Jun had plated the food. Mingyu had dipped into the back, delivering the dishes to the customer that sat alone, and Jun sat next to Seokmin. He’d uncapped a sharpie with his teeth, drawing a little cat onto the corner of the plate alongside a flower. Above it, he’d written some message of encouragement—all a part of the order’s request. 
“Someone else could pick up the order,” Jun capped the marker again. “If you don’t want to go.” 
Seokmin shrugged it off. “It isn’t far.” He paused, “Plus my bike is outside. I’ll be back soon, okay?”
Jun hadn’t responded, brows drawing together. He looked over to the customer in the room, watching as they ate for a moment.
“Jun?”
He took a step away, realization spreading over his features. “Sorry, I just—” He walked away, quietly greeting the customer. Seokmin watched as he rounded the other chair, hands curling around the top of it as he said something… and soon Seokmin knew. 
So he packed away the meal, tying the bag, and confirmed that the order was on its way. He’d congratulate Jun later on finding his soulmate. But now, he just needed to get out before the heat and smell of spice suffocated him. He grabbed his bike, unlocked it, and took off toward the towering building not that far into the city. It was all too easy to get into the building and get pointed toward the right floor. Normally, he’d leave it here, but he decided to waste a few minutes heading upstairs.
A young man had greeted him, breaking away from where his coworkers were gathered around pizza. One of them had already heckled him for being the one person to order something out, but it all seemed to be in good faith. The guy—Soobin, according to the app—had thanked him, quickly enough. Someone bumped into Seokmin as he was waiting for Soobin to hand him a cash tip (something he’d insisted upon), and Seokmin felt his heart leap. Maybe he’d text Jun and apologize and head home instead. Things were… off. 
Jun didn’t hold it against him when he did. All he did was wish him a good night, and Seokmin was thankful for it. 
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There was a text from Seungcheol in the group chat: dinner at jun's? i'm paying :)
Which was odd. Seungcheol had already treated them out last night, so why invite them out again? What was he going to announce—a marriage proposal? Seokmin was still half asleep as he pushed himself out of bed. He'd agree to be there after he ate breakfast. He skipped it yesterday and soon regretted it. Yet the moment he stepped out of his bedroom, he saw Minghao asleep on the couch again. He sighed, rubbing his eyes as he made his way over.
"Minghao, your bed is more comfortable," he nudged him awake. "Two nights in a row? Really?"
Minghao had furrowed his brow upon waking up, staring up at him. "Two...? What are you talking about?"
Seokmin walked away, stretching as he went. "Didn't you fall asleep here the other night?"
With a confused look, he shook his head, running a hand through his hair. He stretched before reaching for his phone, looking down to see the new message on it. "What does Cheol want...? It's short notice and he knows it."
Seokmin looked up, already growing more confused. "He found his soulmate. Don't you remember? I told you when I got back last night."
"You were asleep when I got in." Minghao frowned at him. "When did he tell you?"
"Last night when we..." He trailed off, looking at his phone more clearly now. It was Friday, but yesterday had been Friday. He knew it, because he'd lived it. "We had dinner with a couple of the others, and..."
Minghao folded his jacket over his arms, and it was now that Seokmin realized this had been what he'd seen Minghao wearing on Thursday night. "You must be psychic or something," he made his way toward his room. "Don't ruin the surprise. Cheol will never let you hear the end of it if you do."
Yesterday was Friday. Seokmin knew that yesterday was Friday. So why the hell was it Friday again? Maybe he'd dreamed the entire thing. Was that a sign? He'd look into it later. Food and work would come first. He'd start looking into it when he showed up to Jun's restaurant tonight.
Sure enough, every single order he'd filled yesterday was right there today. Seokmin accepted those, too: maybe his dream meant something.
Sure enough, the night played out the same. Seungcheol announced having a soulmate. The others teased him over the past outfits he’d worn. Joshua poked fun at a neon shirt. Jun’s soulmate came into the restaurant. And Seokmin accepted that same takeout order. This time he had almost avoided the person coming in, and he’d given them a strange look when they turned back to acknowledge him this time. Again, they apologized to him after a moment before going on, checking their phone.
And then he went to sleep, and, again, it was Friday.
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Around the fifth Friday he lived through, Seokmin realized a few things. He’d already figured out that he both met his soulmate and missed them (he Googled a lot that third Friday), and that he just needed to find them to break the loop. Every single day, he tried to fill the same delivery orders. He tried to go to the same places at the same time. He met the same people most of the time—he’d already missed that final order twice now, snatched up by someone else while he was trying to figure out what was wrong. 
But that was… beyond several Fridays ago. This was Friday number fifteen, and he’d managed to exact a few things. Minghao had given him something to say to prove that, yes, Seokmin was trapped in a time loop (details of his date the night before, followed by a quick enough explanation that Minghao knew wasn’t bullshit by the panic in his voice), and it’d given him an ally in every repeat day. He’d slipped up and spoiled Seungcheol’s surprise during one of the loops and given up on finding his soulmate that time. It didn’t feel fair to potentially let that be the day. 
Minghao filled a cup with ice and water. “You’re not trying to make the day perfect though, right? Because you’re going to just prolong it if you do.”
“I’m not.” Seokmin had stretched out across their couch, arms resting over his stomach. He didn’t have to leave for another few minutes. “I just didn’t want to find them after I ruined Seungcheol’s surprise.”
“He doesn’t remember now, though,” he shrugged. “Try to find them soon, though. You seem tired.”
“I am.” 
Minghao came over to him, extending the glass to him. “Then get out there and keep looking.”
“I have to stick to the schedule, though,” Seokmin accepted the glass as he sat up. “Otherwise I’ll keep missing them.” 
“Remember what we all said?” Minghao crossed his arms. “You’ll know them when you see them.”
Seokmin moved over, giving Minghao space to sit next to him. “I don’t know what that means.”
“When I saw my soulmate, I…” He pressed his lips together, looking toward the windows for a moment. “I felt like I was at peace.” Again, he paused, thinking over his words. “Like… I was ready to try to love them. To learn more about them and see why they were my soulmate.” 
That night, Seokmin posed the question of how they all knew while sitting at dinner with the others. He mouthed an apology to Soonyoung for asking a question neither of them (to his knowledge) would ever understand, but he didn’t seem all too bothered by it. The group had gone quiet, all thinking about their individual answers. And as Seokmin expected, Seungcheol had his the soonest.
“I didn’t feel anything special until I caught them,” he admitted, looking at Seokmin. “But when I did… It felt like everything was right. Like… Everything had been leading to that moment. I was where I needed to be, I think. As much as I wanted to meet them sooner, I think we found each other at the right time.”
Jeonghan nodded along to it, a soft hum sounding from him as he agreed with every sentence. “Right. I know I’m different because I’ve always known mine, but… I felt like I’d found the missing piece in my life. I know that’s sappy to say,” he laughed softly, “but it’s true. I’ve loved them this long, you know?”
Vernon had pressed his lips together. And a moment later, he nodded, too. “Right. I’d liked them for a while, but I think realizing that our sign had been right there the entire time… It all just made sense—”
“You literally made out with them immediately, don’t act all sentimental,” Chan rolled his eyes. “But… I felt this pull when I met them. Their friend had caught me, but it still felt like something was pulling me toward them.”
“Right, right…” Mingyu nodded along to that. “It felt like things were right in this way I can’t describe.”
Joshua hummed to himself, the sole person without an answer yet. He raked his fingers through his hair before meeting Seokmin’s gaze. “Maybe I’m just weird, but I didn’t really have anything like that. Like… I knew I was about to meet them since we’d agreed to meet up at a coffee shop, but the most I felt was this comfortable warmth. Like, we’d grown up sharing this experience together. It just felt like I met someone who understood me in some way.”
Seokmin noted down everything in his mind. A feeling of things being right, or a pull toward someone, or even that he’d found something he’d always been missing (although maybe without realizing it, if it were to apply to him). 
Yet he went to bed that night, woke up to another Friday, and wondered if he had broken something along the way.
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Online forums helped plenty. He made and remade an account and the same post since around Friday number eight, always getting the same people chiming in and believing in him. You’ll find them soon! He’d always say how many Fridays he’d repeated, and yet there was always the same encouragement. Today was Friday number seventeen. Every single day, Seokmin woke up to the same situation. A new account, a new post. Seungcheol’s text. The same deliveries, the same thanks. The same breaks for lunch, including texting Mingyu about meeting up for coffee sometime (he hadn’t made it yet, but he was determined to). The people on the forums had told him the same thing his friends did: he would know his soulmate when he saw them.
So why was he so antsy today?
He’d shown up to Jun’s restaurant at the same time, wiping down the tables in record speed before relaxing with his cup of ice water. He listened to the clamor of pans in the back as Jun cooked for another table, eyes fluttering shut as he sighed. Friday number seventeen, and he wasn’t getting any closer, was he? Over two weeks and he’d found little ways to break up the monotony when he could. No one he delivered to was his soulmate. No one in that Jinki guy’s office had faced a repeat day (he’d done the stupid thing and stood up during day twelve and asked out loud, and he was thankful no one would remember it by midnight). No one in any of the stores he went to, either (again, day fourteen he did the same as he did with Jinki’s work). And he’d delivered to Soobin faster than ever before, only to receive no answer when he asked yesterday. 
So where was his soulmate?
Seungcheol arrived soon enough, smiling as brightly as ever. The others filed in over time, too. Jeonghan and Joshua arrived together once more, always talking about some movie they were still debating about the real meaning of. Mingyu made a big deal stretching and bragging about his short break at home with his soulmate—he’d bring the back takeout afterward. Soonyoung burst into the restaurant soon enough, always talking about how he was tired of his office being short on staff. Then Vernon and Chan, bemoaning their late bus as always, joined the table soon enough. Seokmin had known the following conversation by heart: Seungcheol announcing that he found his soulmate, followed by him pouting when no one immediately said anything. Seokmin always found himself being the first to congratulate him, saying he’d pass word along to Minghao if he wanted. Seungkwan sent Seungcheol all of the ugly outfits they’d lovingly tricked him into wearing over the years (never for serious events—always for a stupid get-together with the full group). The neon shirt. Jun’s soulmate would be there soon. They always came in at the exact same time…
Jun reached out, fingers brushing against Seokmin’s bicep and tearing his eyes away from his watch. “Are you okay?” His voice was soft enough to not alert the others, and Seokmin barely paid him any mind at first.
“Just waiting for something.” He paused, then realized that he was the only person present who knew of his situation. He looked up, shaking his head as he turned to Jun. “Sorry! Sorry, I’m fine. Just…” He glanced at the door for a moment. Any moment now. “Waiting.”
Seungcheol spoke up again about his soulmate, and Seokmin was thankful for the change in topic. He’d explain it all in due time. Hopefully today would give him another do-over and he wouldn’t worry Jun. Soon enough, the door jingled, and Seokmin rose up out of his chair. Jun’s soulmate was here, which meant the order from Soobin would be coming in soon. He’d made his way over to the computer, tapping at the edge of it as he waited impatiently. Soon. Soon. Jun had stood up, excusing himself from the group to unknowingly speak to his soulmate.
“Sorry,” Jun’s soulmate had said to him, and he slid them a menu without much thought. “My friend, Minho, came here with a couple of friends…”
Seconds passed with each tap of Seokmin’s finger. Soobin’s order. Always steamed pork buns and fried rice and some sort of beef or pork (the only thing that might change—the tiniest change that didn’t affect anything). He pressed his lips tighter together. Tomorrow, he’d start from the top. He’d ask everyone. He’d tell everyone that he was stuck in a time loop. Minghao would help him convince them all. If they knew that Seokmin was looking for his soulmate, they would help. 
The computer chimed. Seokmin tapped the order, reading over it. Steamed pork buns. Fried rice. Beef. And…
And more?
He hesitated to accept it, glancing over to Jun and his soulmate.  “Jun. There’s a request for takeout.” He paused for just a second, “I’m gonna confirm it, alright?”
Jun waved him on, and Seokmin felt his heart hammering in his chest as the ticket printed out. He made his way to the kitchen, clipping it to the line for Jun to refer to. This had to be a sign. You were there. You had to be there, right? No one ever changed their order like this. His brows knit together. Had he done something to set off some sort of butterfly effect? Was he just giving himself false hope now? He wanted out of this loop, soulmate or no soulmate. He’d lived this Friday seventeen times now, and all he wanted was to wake up on Saturday morning and go get coffee with Mingyu because Mingyu was offering. Mingyu would pay for a slice of cake or whatever dessert he wanted, too. And at this point, Seokmin had earned the same thing.
“Is everything okay?” Jun had approached him, keeping his voice low—again, mindful of what little privacy they had with so many of their friends present. “You seem… different.”
He shook his head. No need to worry him yet. “The ticket’s on the line,” he couldn’t stop staring at the screen now. An extra order. For what? For who? Jun hadn’t budged. Seokmin decided to lie: “Just… thought I recognized the name.”
Thankfully, Jun shrugged it off. Mingyu had made his way to the kitchens to help, and Seokmin held himself together. He would not get his hopes up. Not too high. This could be it, or it could be some sort of butterfly effect. He took a different way to the store earlier, after all. Wasn’t that what the whole thing was based around? Small actions having bigger impacts? Wonwoo would know. He was smart, he’d probably read about it. Maybe he’d ask Wonwoo about it on Friday number eighteen, if he woke up on Friday again. 
The food was made and plated before Seokmin knew, and he watched as Jun uncapped a sharpie with his teeth. He’d drawn a little cat onto the corner of one of the lids—the unfamiliar order, Seokmin realized—and then drew a little flower next to it. He’d always done it for Soobin’s order. Would that change things, too…?
“Someone else could pick up the order,” Jun said as he re-capped the marker. “If you don’t want to go.”
“No!” Seokmin paused. When did he get so desperate? He waved a hand, trying to act casual again. “I mean—The money is good, and my bike is outside.” Please don’t push. “I’ll try to be back to help clean up.” But if this is it, I won’t. I can’t. Please understand. Seokmin tied the bag tight after throwing in a few sets of utensils and more than enough fortune cookies. He picked up the bag, stopping to turn back to Jun. 
His soulmate was right there, and Jun hadn’t realized it yet. Maybe…
“Jun?”
Jun looked up from where he’d begun to tidy up behind the counter, that same earnest look on his face. Seokmin always wondered what he looked like when he realized that person was his soulmate. Even when he missed being able to deliver Soobin’s order, he tried to go out, to retrace his steps and hopefully run into his soulmate. Then again… Would telling him throw things off even further? Or would Jun even want for him to tell him? 
Seokmin opened his mouth, then closed it a moment later. He turned, looking at Jun’s soulmate. They were sitting alone, about to break into their meal. Jun would know soon enough. And… if it were him, Seokmin wouldn’t want to have the moment given to him like this. He turned back to Jun one last time. “Actually… Don’t worry about it. I’ll be back later.”
He could see the concern on Jun’s face, clear as day. No doubt he would be calling him come morning. Seokmin made his way out of the restaurant, waving to the others and saying he’d try to be back as soon as he could. Soon enough, he’d unlocked the bike lock and tucked it into his bag, strapping on his helmet. He’d biked this path so many times he knew it by heart, no need to keep track of his location through his phone’s map. He left his bike near the doors in the lobby, the way he always did when the secretary let him into the building. The elevator ride felt shorter than normal, and Seokmin found himself hesitating. He could hear Soobin and his coworkers talking in the other room. 
He shut his eyes, took a deep breath, and made his way forward. Soobin lit up when he saw him. Again, he was heckled by another coworker for ordering something else, and Soobin waved them off.
“I’m not the only one,” he’d said this time. “They’re—” He paused, looking around, only to roll his eyes. “They’re in the bathroom still—”
“I’m here!”
Your shoulder bumped against Seokmin as you rushed in, and Seokmin felt his heart leap. It was you. You’d bumped into him that first day while Soobin was giving him the cash tip he’d insisted on. And now you were pulling out your own wallet, insisting on covering a cash tip since Soobin hadn’t tipped enough on the app. You’d been rambling about how today you felt like something other than pizza, and…
“It’s you.” 
You looked up, blinking as you stared at Seokmin. “Me…?” And then it clicked, those pretty eyes lighting up with realization. “You—” You had gasped, eyes already growing teary. “You’re—”
Seokmin could kiss you now, relief flooding every single cell in his body. He’d dropped the bag onto Soobin’s desk, ignoring the way the guy dove to make sure nothing spilled, and stepped forward. You had immediately wrapped your arms around him, squeezing him tight. Something felt right about it all, like his life had come together in a way he never knew it could have. The rest of your coworkers had gone quiet, and Seokmin had let himself cry a little. 
“I’ve been looking for you,” he said, voice wavering. He held you tighter, “I—I almost thought I wouldn’t find you.”
You said nothing and just let yourself cry out of relief. 
When you finally pulled away, it was to tell your coworkers that you needed to leave soon. You knew just as well as he did that the two of you needed to be together when midnight struck, and you weren’t going to work through the entire night. Not with Seokmin right there with you. It seemed to renew the energy in your team as all of you got to work. You pulled a chair over for Seokmin to sit near you while he waited, and he took the chance to text a few things out:
To Minghao: I’ll see you saturday
To Jun: I’ll explain tomorrow :) don’t worry about me. I’m okay now.
And to Seungcheol: I found them. 
You had paused for a moment, looking at Seokmin curiously. After a moment, you caught yourself staring, and grew flustered. “Sorry. Just… What do you want to do? We've got some time to kill until midnight, so...”
Seokmin had been living his life adhering to routine. From childhood to adulthood to the past seventeen Fridays, everything had a time and place for him to be. So he just smiled at you, rolling his chair a little closer to you: “Whatever you want to do.” He paused, deciding to go all in on being cheesy. “Let’s follow our hearts this time, okay?”
And you, who had found routine over and over in your own life, smiled and made living on repeat worth it with that smile.
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taglist: @twancingyunhao @wonuziex @synthetickitsune @staranghae @porridgesblog @weird-bookworm @bangchansbae @laylasbunbunny @bewoyewo
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ladykailitha · 4 months ago
Text
Never Hold Back Your Step... Part 14
Hey, guys just a couple chapters left. The story is done. I kind skip over the Mind Flayer bit and get back to the heart of the story, Eddie and Steve.
It will be some time before I start the last one. The lack of interest for this one made it hard to finish and as you're aware I don't really like having to rely on canon so much. And the last one will have to feature it in someway. But we'll see.
In this we get Eddie calling in the cavalry, Steve and Robin are captured and Steve plays hero.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13
~
To say Eddie was worried would be an understatement. He had gone to the mall to pick Steve up from work and he wasn’t there.
But he knew about the Russian message and he knew that there was one thing Steve couldn’t stand and that’s was letting a literal child rush headlong into danger, not if he could help it.
So he started looking around. There were bound to be clues. And sure enough, the ladder had been moved and vent wasn’t properly screwed on anymore. But there was no way that any of the three Musketeers would fit through that space and he shuddered to think what or who they would have gotten to go down that tunnel.
He put his hand on his hip and scratched his chin. Then he snapped his fingers. There was nothing for it. He was going to have to call in the cavalry and by cavalry he meant Uncle Wayne.
Eddie went to a payphone and pulled out a quarter. He dialed home.
“‘Ello,” Wayne greeted gruffly. “Wayne speaking.”
“Uncle Wayne!” he cried. “I’m at the mall and I can’t find Steve. His car is still here, but I can’t find him. Which his car being here is weird as I was supposed to pick him up.”
There was a pause on the other end of the line before Wayne said, nice and low, “This is about those comics, ain’t it?”
Eddie straightened his spine. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t be playing games with me, boy,” Wayne growled. “If your boy is trouble I need to know everything.”
“Meet me on the north side of the mall and I’ll tell you what I know,” Eddie whispered, looking over his shoulder. “I don’t want to say much over the phone.”
Again there was a beat then, “I’m on my way.”
~
The arguing was starting to mess with Steve’s head. In that he meant it was going to give him a migraine and then he was going to murder them. Particularly since he didn’t have his medication with him.
Because they were trapped in a fucking elevator underneath the mall and no way out or back up.
“Shut up!” he huffed. “I don’t care about Tina or Uncle Jack’s party, mmk?” He cocked his head forward for emphasis. “Look if we don’t find a way out of here, there wouldn’t be any parties or shit, because we’d all be dead. No one is looking for us, because they don’t know where we are.”
Erica popped her hip and placed her hand on it. “Maybe no one is looking for you. But my parents are absolutely looking for me.”
Steve covered his face with his hands. “Not what I meant! I mean no one is going to look for a secret Russian base under the mall because that’s fucking insane!”
Time went on and it was looking less and less likely they’d find a way out even with Dustin constantly trying to use his little communicator to reach out to anyone who could help when Robin heard someone coming.
They all ducked behind the crates when Steve got a bright idea. Taking Erica’s vial of green glowing liquid, he leapt into action.
As the elevator door closed, he stuck the vial between the floor and the door, effectively stopping its descent. He signaled to Dustin and Erica to get out first and then Robin. He rolled under the door just the vial’s strength gave out.
It shattered, its contents spewing all over the floor. Then to their horror it began to eat away at the floor and the door.
“Shit!” Dustin swore and Steve agreed. He barely missed rolling into the stuff and really didn’t want to know what it did to flesh if it did that to fucking metal.
They looked around but the only way to go was further into the base.
“Out of the frying pan,” Robin said with her hands on her hips, “and into the fire.”
Steve sighed and walked toward the long hallway, the other three following close behind.
~
Eddie paced in front of the movie theater. He was really worried about Steve now. He had asked a couple of the other people in the food court if they had seen anything, but the only thing they mentioned was that they closed early.
He wished not for the first time that Steve had thought to call him. But he knew why he didn’t. There were several reason that came to his head. That Dustin was super pushy about it and Steve wasn’t allowed the time to call. That Steve didn’t want him involved in whatever the hell this mess was. Which fair, but a head’s up would have been nice.
A beat up pickup pulled to a stop in front of him and he nearly sagged with relief. Uncle Wayne would know what to do.
Wayne was out of his truck and gathering Eddie up in his arms before his lip could even wobble.
Eddie told him everything Steve had said about weird shit in Hawkins and how everything was tied to that lab. He had been slowly prying it out of Steve over the last month whenever they were alone.
“We’ll find him,” Wayne said fiercely. “So he’s car’s here, which means it’s probably been left here overnight. Whatever happened, didn’t happen today. Which isn’t good. Who might he have gone to?”
Eddie frowned. “I’m pretty sure Dustin is already with him, and probably his co-worker, Robin Buckley.” He thought about the comic with the dire wolves. “Lucas Sinclair and Max Mayfield.”
“Ed,” Wayne said slowly, “those are children you just named.”
“Uh...” Eddie said, wrinkling his brow in concentration. “I know there are a couple of actual adults involved, but I don’t know who. I mean, I’d guess Mrs. Byers because her son is in the middle of all this shit, but...” he just shrugged.
Wayne rubbed his eyebrow in frustration. These were children, Steve included. He didn’t care if the boy just turned eighteen, Steve was only sixteen when all this shit started. None of them should have been anywhere near this shit.
“Hopper!” Eddie cried, snapping his fingers. “Steve said the police chef knew about the goings on here in Hawkins.”
“I’m going to kill him,” Wayne muttered darkly.
Secretly Eddie agreed. He was usually all about down with the man and conspiracies and all that shit, but the chief of police knowing that things are fucked up and not doing more to protect this town from whatever the hell this all was? Yeah, fuck that guy in particular.
“Here’s what we’re going to do,” Wayne said firmly. “I’m going to go the police station and hunt Hopper down, see if he knows about anything under the mall. You are going to stay here, keep an eye out for him at the mall. Since his car is still here, he’s got to be somewhere on the property.”
Eddie nodded, pursing his lips together and rocking back on his heels.
“Good,” Wayne groused. “I’ve got a pair of walkies in the cab of my truck, we’ll keep in contact that way, okay?”
Eddie heaved a sigh of relief. That made it easy to know where each other was at all times. He took the walkie talkie from Wayne and headed back into the mall.
He knew that Steve wouldn’t be in the food court, wherever he had gone, was away from the ice cream shop.
So he setup his vigil on one of the benches half way between the food court and the theater so that he could keep an eye on the two busiest locations.
He pulled out his little notebook to make it look like he was drawing or whatever to not arouse suspicion and settled in for a long wait.
~
Steve was fucking terrified. He wanted to run back to Forest Hills and crawl into Eddie’s bed and never come out of it ever again. They were only supposed to find out what the Russians were up to so that they could report it to their ‘friends’ at the DOE and be lauded as heroes instead of heaps of NDAs and admonishments to keep their mouths shut.
But now they were walking into something they didn’t even fucking know how to get out of. No one knew where they were. Or even where to start looking. Dustin had almost used up all the battery on his little communicator trying to get into contact with their friends and no one had answered.
And then he saw it.
It was a good thing he hadn’t eaten in who knows how long because he absolutely would have lost it.
“What the hell is that?” Erica said, reeling back in disgust.
“Dustin,” Steve implored. “Please tell me that isn’t what it looks like.”
Dustin grabbed his hand. “Uh...nope. It’s exactly what it looks like.”
They had reached a room where there were a lot of scientists running around, calling out in Russian and making notes on clipboards. In the center of the room was a red pulsating mass.
They ducked behind some boxes and Steve bit back a whimper.
“Is it open?” Steve asked Dustin.
Dustin peeked over the boxes and then ducked back down. “No. Not yet. But I bet that’s what the green goo is for.”
“Shit,” Steve hissed. “Of course they’re trying to open a Gate. What else would Russians want with Hawkins?”
Dustin looked devastated, because Steve was right. There was only one thing a foreign government would want in their fucked up little town. The Upside Down.
They managed to sneak around the scientists and found themselves in a control room. A mostly empty control with a single guard.
Steve plan was stupid. But it was all they had.
And it ended better than he thought it would if he was honest with himself. Robin and he had been captured while Erica and Dustin had gotten away.
They kept asking him over and over who they were and who they worked for. Steve did everything he could to keep the attention on him. Robin didn’t know anything. She didn’t know anything about Gates and monsters, and alternative dimensions. He kept repeating the truth over and over again.
“Steve Harrington, I work at Scoops Ahoy!” he chanted, his voice slurring after the fifth strike to the side of his face.
Again and again they didn’t believe him.
Then they took him away and the beating intensified. He was crying now and he didn’t care. He just wanted to have a barbecue with his boyfriend and his uncle. His parents had called him again to say that they wouldn’t be home. He hoped and feared that Eddie and Wayne were looking for him.
Then his world went black.
~
I'm not going to show Steve being tortured. This story isn't about that. It's not even really about season 3. It's about Steve and Eddie.
Part 15 Part 16
Tag List: FIVE SLOTS REMAINING
1- @mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog
2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @kultiras
3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog
4- @justforthedead89 @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @blondie1006
5- @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon
6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @angels-of-hades
7- @mugloversonly @y4r3luv @greeniebean911 @birbsauce @acingthecounts
8- @cryptid-system @counting-dollars-counting-stars @ravenfrog @dreamercec @sadisticaltarts
9- @clockworkballerina @bluelightsinthevoid @blcksh33p1987 @i-go-pink-in-the-night @mamafaithful
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trashogram · 9 months ago
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He Chose You (Pt. 6)
Lucifer/Reader: Lucifer wants you to be the Mother of his child. Rated E bc Explicit.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 13.5 | Part 14 | End
((This one fought me so hard, I just wanna get it out there and I’ll proof-read it later I’m sorry.))
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The first time didn’t take, as you’d come to learn 3 days post-coitus with the Devil. It had left you bereft, not exactly disappointed but also not certain if you should go out and buy 150% proof alcohol to mark the occasion. 
You settled for enough wine to dull your senses before sending a text with your Hellphone. The fact that inter-dimensional phone lines were possible was simply added to the list of not-even-gonna-think-about-it of things that came with your new reality. 
A blood-curdling shriek from your pocket made you curse as you dove for it. 
“Hey.” 
“Hey-yy!” Lucifer responded cheerfully before clearing his throat. “So it um… it didn’t work?” 
“Unless being pregnant with hellspawn looks and feels exactly like my time of the month, no. It didn’t.” You said. 
He sighed on the other end, air blowing through the receiver and fucking up already poor reception. “Okay. Shit. Well, maybe we can work something else out—”
“I’ll just text you when it’s over and we can try again.” You replied as you leaned back against your headboard. 
“You-you wanna try again?” Lucifer’s surprise made your eyes roll.
“Yeah, just give me a couple days.” You’d felt a wave of fatigue crashing over you.
Suddenly you were boneless, barely able to even hold the phone up to your ear. Lucifer’s hesitant delight barely registered yet you could imagine him behind closed eyelids, smiling crookedly with those ivory fangs. 
“Y-I-uh, ok great! That works for me if it works for you!” He practically shouted. “Do you need anything in the meantime?”
“‘Mmmmffh, a nap.” Lucidity snapped back for a moment as you eyed the phone in your peripheral. “Also please don’t call or text me. I’m gonna throw this thing out the window if I have to hear someone screaming bloody murder one more time.” 
Lucifer being startled by the ringing of his Hellphone wasn’t at all peculiar. 
However — 
The sound of a love song, though tinny and compartmentalized to the King of Hell’s coat pocket, made Asmodeus perk up. 
He glanced down to see his diminutive brother rush for the device like his life depended on it. It was easy to feign polite indifference as Lucifer excused himself from the cafe table for a moment, but by the time the King had returned, Asmodeus was leaning forward expectantly. 
“That’s new.” He said. 
Lucifer looked up wildly, as if he’d been caught snatching aphrodisiacs from Ozzie’s own stores.
       “Huh, wha? What’s new?” He laughed off the embarrassment, re-taking his seat.
Asmodeous sipped from his teacup, clocking the many idiosyncrasies Lucifer displayed.
       He was flustered, still gripping the phone between his claws, and had perched on the edge of his seat so that he could bounce a leg against the ground. 
“Love songs aren’t your usual style, babe.” The Prince spoke casually, but his eyes were bright.
It was delightful to see Lucifer stiffen as soon as he realized what his companion referred to. One of the best about the short King was how easy he was to tease, if you asked the Embodiment of Lust himself. 
        “Didn’t know you were finally getting out there, Louie.” Ozzie teased. “Were you gonna keep it a secret? Even from me?”
“Oh n— out there? Me?! Ha! No!” Lucifer shook his hand fiercely. “I’m not — it’s not like that! We’re not dating! I mean, some might see it like that but a lot of others wouldn’t! She wouldn’t… probably!  It’s, ya see, actually — I — ahem, ah…” 
His embarrassment grew into something stranger, more conflicted and melancholy. The teasing smirk on Asmodeus’s face flattened. 
“It’s complicated.” He finished, looking down at his phone as if it were the sole reason for his sudden misery. 
Ozzie wasn't soft on many (in fact he’d argue that being hard was his speciality) but his brother was one of the few. 
The much larger Sin rested a hand against Lucifer’s back. “You wanna talk about it?”
The days that followed blurred together, monotony of aches and pains broken only by an insatiable libido. It was as if the promise of sex after this, however unfulfilling it might be, was the only thing keeping you alive. 
Lucifer’s bizarre consideration held up over that time, surprising you enough that when it was time to give him a ring, you weren’t as dread-filled as you could’ve been. 
        He did, however, arrive in your home via furnace suspiciously quickly upon making contact with you again. His normally pristine suit and and impeccably coiffed hair were ruffled and singed, like he’d made a mad dash to get to you. 
“Hell-Oh!” Lucifer had practically squeaked as you dragged him out by the lapels. 
You’re so pent up that it’s hardly a surprise when you find yourself sitting on his lap, having manhandled the short King onto your couch. 
His cold, smooth skin was still alien, but you powered through the initial aversion to chase after that zing that came with kissing him. It was addictive, even with the fear of being cut by his sharp teeth in the back of your mind. 
Despite yourself, you took a second to break away and breathe. 
Beneath you, Lucifer was positively flushed. His shiny, wet lips were parted in wordless awe, and eyes glazed over in his daze. 
“Fuck.” He croaked. 
You smirked, gripping onto the blond hair that had already been mussed and abused by overeager hands. Pointedly, you slid back and forth on his trembling lap. There was no way to ignore the hardness at his inner thigh. 
The first drag of his cock against your walls made you shudder, arching as your head fell back. 
Lucifer whined in his seat, claws digging into the plush of your thighs. The pain heightened the feeling of being stabbed twice, making your lower belly tremble. 
“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fffffff —” His cries were so good, you couldn’t stop from grinding down onto him. “You feel so good. So. Good. You’re gonna kill me, sweetheart. I can't.”
“That’s ok.” You slurred, hands coming up to wrap loosely around his neck. “We can work on that.” 
Lucifer opened his mouth, but you were already planting kisses against the corner of lips mouth, his cherry-spotted cheeks, the line of his jaw and the pulse beneath his ear.
Your hands were focused on exploring the planes of Lucifer’s chest and shoulders. He wasn’t muscular — or tall, obviously, but the lithe body intertwined with yours was more than easy on the eyes. 
“You can touch.” It was hardly fair that yours were the only hands busy. The ruler of Hell was flat beneath you, artificial light from your bedroom lamp casting shadows on his marble chest. 
Lucifer’s mulberry-dappled lids remained low, highlighting the yellow glow of his eyes. His claws slid up your hips, reverently tracing your frame as you bounced lightly. 
“If you insist, princess.” 
He was more coy after the first few rounds, an easier grin sliding across his face. The trembling touches against your breasts spoke of the still-nervous creature you’d first been introduced to.
Daylight was waning again when you found knelt, back pressed against Lucifer’s chest. He fucked into you wildly, teeth pressed into your bare shoulder. 
The thought of him biting into you didn’t sound so frightful anymore. In fact the image set butterflies off in your stomach. 
That and the way he held you close, wrapped vice-like around you like a boa constrictor. 
“No baby, don’t go yet!” When you squirmed, Lucifer nuzzled into the side of your neck, breathing heavy. “Just like this. Please, baby.”
He pleaded into your neck, grip tightening to where you couldn’t breathe. 
— 
“Here.” You guided his hand, settling it between your legs. 
Lucifer’s thrusts had grown shallow and uneven, but hadn’t quite stopped. He seemed entranced, watching as you positioned his thumb over the bundle of nerves just above where you two were joined. 
“Gently. Watch your claws.” You murmured along with your hands-on teaching. 
When you felt he’d gotten the message, you sighed and concentrated on the circular motion against your clit. Lucifer remained attentive, moving clockwise as the pace he’d started before picked up again. 
In moments you tensed, pleasure sparking along your pubic bone. It built up as your eyes closed, head tipped back as you let yourself enjoy the pressure both inside and out. Your hips jerked upward of their own accord, core trembling and cunt spasming. 
Your partner whimpered at the new intensity, which only egged you on. Before you knew it, you two were rocking into a chaotic rhythm. 
With slit eyes, you saw Lucifer looking down at you, flustered yet rapt over your every little response.
“Yeah?” He asked breathlessly. 
You nodded. “Mm-hm.”
It was difficult. You could feel the tension in your belly contracting, the heat and pressure building against your clit. The feeling was mounting to where you couldn’t help your keens, your moans, your whimpers. 
It ended with a choked sigh. You arched from the bed, head falling back as you let your legs tremble and shake around him. The convulsions pulled the Devil in deeper, and the feel of him was enough to make your eyes roll back in your skull beneath fluttering eyelids. Another gush came at the thought of being so full you could feel it in your stomach. 
          Lucifer watched. His face was nearly as red as the apple that adorned his hat, knocked off of your bedside table. He had the expression of someone seeing a falling star for the first time. Stunned, eyes gleaming, unable to comprehend something despite how beautiful it was.  
The former Angel lowered himself to capture your mouth with his own. He pressed luxuriant kisses to your lips, all while his hips stuttered between your thighs until he was humping into you, refusing to separate skin from skin. 
His release was coupled with a heated groan, muffled by the slide of your tongue against his. You were glowing inside out, warmth blooming in your core as you held onto Lucifer tightly. 
— 
The woman had invited you up into her tree. It was a different tree from the last, not bearing any fruit but lush with green needles and strong boughs that wouldn’t break. 
She looks over her shoulder at you cheekily. “Aren’t you glad you decided to join me?”
You playfully scoff and roll your eyes. “You don’t need to be so smug about it.” 
“Oh I think I do.” The blonde tilted in your direction, arms coming to wrap around you. “I won.”
You stay that way, watching the nettles shake in the passing breeze. 
“Everyone loves a winner.” She says at your side.
You frown. “I love you no matter what.” 
The woman sighs. 
“You might not always.” 
Light humming woke you from your doze, along with the repeated motion of something against your cheek. 
It wasn’t until you’d opened your eyes that you realized it was Lucifer humming and caressing your cheek tenderly. He was nose(less) to nose with you, seemingly admiring your face slackened with sleep. 
“What’s that from?” You rasped. 
“Hmm?” The King stroked an errant hair behind your ear. 
“It’s a movie.” You continued, repeating the notes in your head. “Right? It’s from a musical…”
“You like musicals?” Lucifer asked, seemingly surprised. Fangs poked out of his close-lipped smile, and he looked goofier than ever before. 
You copied him, helpless to how silly he made everything. “What’s not to like?”
The lightbulb went off. “Oh! Cabaret. That’s where it’s from.” 
“Yeah!” Lucifer moved even closer, the flat of his face pressing against your nose as he nuzzled you for guessing the right answer. “It’s kinda old, isn’t it? How’d you guess?”
“Psh, you think my threshold for pop culture is only as long as the last ten years?” You teased, arm skating down his side so that you could pinch his behind. 
“Hey!”
***
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