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my-brothers-corrupted · 4 years ago

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My Brothers, Corrupted

Chapter Three : Section Nine : The Separated Twins

Chapter One l Chapter Two l Chapter Three

Trigger warnings for physical and emotional abuse, hallucinations, and panic attacks.

On one side of the world, Henrik is exploring what it would mean to be free of Anti – what it would be to fight. On the other, Trick does something harmless that ends with him being punished and then even deeper under Anti’s hypnosis.

The Separated Twins

Anonymous asked: I believe in you. I believe in all of you that you can help Trick see that Anti isn't good for any of you and that he should not settle for the constant abuse he suffers under him just for the occasional glimpses of affection and attention. Please Blue... You and the others have to show him, show Trick that love shouldn't be painful. It should be warm, healing, and brings you up rather than down. -🦀

“Yeah,” murmurs Blue. “Yeah, I’d like for him to know that.”

He’s lying in his and Trick’s room, picking dully at Trick’s Switch, Noodle cautiously set at the end of the mattress beside him. He looks a little better than when you last saw him a couple days ago, but he’s still so worn. At least he’s wrapped up in Trick’s warm nest and wearing comfy old clothes.

“He deserves better,” he says. “I don’t know how to show him. But I’ll love him as hard as I can, damn sure… all of them. I miss the others.”

Anonymous asked: Hey Anti, maybe if you would treat your brothers like actual brothers and go to them for comfort instead of to beat them, maybe you wouldn't be such a miserable piece of shit. Ever think of that? Mindboggling, I know.

Anti breathes out a long sigh through his nose.

He’s moving around his room, his form shifting slower than you’ve ever seen it shift before, gradually making himself look more like Red. Flowers flicker and then die around his feet. He stretches and the flame of a candle breathes hotly towards the ceiling before settling down again. His body flickers moment to moment. His room is cleaner than it was before, much of the blood stained disappeared or hidden in the brown of the carpet, but printed pictures are beginning to take up the space on his wall.

“You’re all cliches of each other,” he says finally, voice thin and irritated. His eyes, when he turns to you, are vivid blue beneath glasses that look like Dok’s. “Nothing you have said has ever convinced me, spectators. Try to be a little more entertaining. I could turn you off again at any time.”

aether-mae asked: Hey Jackie, now that you’ve got max with you to help you out, I was wondering if u were still thinking of heading back to Peru to find Doc?

Ro and JJ are still with Max two days later.

Ro is wearing his new blue hoodie. He is clean. His cheeks have more color and there’s even a bit of sun in his face. He smells like honeydew soap because he’s been having a hot shower every day. He’s shaved.

He’s cut his hair too. Just a little. There’s no more dye in his hair. It’s his hair. He cut it. Well, with Dapper’s help. And some enthusiastic compliments from Max to boost his confidence.

He looks good.

Max is on the bed with Dapper, a stack of playing cards on the sheets between them.

“Okay, then I - do I need the joker? Mate, have mercy on me, you’re signing too fast. Hey! I’m a perfectly capable learner, I’ll have you know. Fine then, wait til I kick your ass at this. Oh, what, does that mean I lost? Shit. You rigged this. Next round I got you.”

Ro laughs and comes to sit beside them. Max pauses for a moment to grin at him before going back to his card game.

“Hey,” says Red after a little while.

“Yeah?”

“I checked with Dapper last night,” says Ro. “I was wondering if your offer to take us back to Dok in Peru still stands.”

Max looks up at Ro, smiling. Dapper gives him a fair chance and then steals all his cards.

“Wh - JJ!”

“Careful, he’s merciless.”

“No joke. Deal me another round. Really, though, Ro? You’d let me drive you? We can get another hotel tonight and be there in a couple days. I’d about die to see Henrik again.”

Red nods, smiling back at him. “Yeah, I mean it. We want our Dok back. Need to see my little brother. We might not have the others right now, but we’ll figure it out once we’ve got… Henrik.”

“Jackie,” says Max, clapping his hands together. “This is the best news. I’d love to. Can’t wait to see you fidget like a maniac through hours of car time.”

“Oh, fuck, don’t remind me.”

“Hahaha. Okay, yeah! Let’s head out tomorrow first thing, then! We’ll get a rental car if we can find one or start on the bus. Have to get you lots of snacks and entertainment, I know. There was this one time you and I were on a trip and by the end of it you were just about upside down in your seat. We were visiting Ireland so you could show me some of your home…”

Max and Dapper play cards. Max talks, loud and earnest and comforting. A friend. A friend who isn’t his family, a friend who wasn’t ordered to look after him by Anti. Just somebody who likes Jackie for Jackie.

Jackie sits on the bed and listens to Max talk for hours. Tomorrow, they’ll head back towards Lima.

Anonymous asked: Hey Anti what's those pictures in your room?

Anti pauses, his eyes narrowing, but he doesn’t bother to move you from position, letting you get a look at the pictures. They’re of his brothers. No, wait - just Doktor and Red and Dapper.

There’s one where Dapper has Red over his shoulder, leading him up towards the house in Peru, where Doktor is waiting to look after him. There’s one of Doktor and Dapper asleep side by side on their mattress. There’s one of Dapper staring out a window in Norway towards the glowing lights in the sky, one of Red hiking proudly up the mountain, one of Doktor staring placidly up at Anti, slicked entirely in blood and still holding a scalpel. All of them take place from the eye of a camera. Dok petting Noodle, Trick’s shoes just visible in the corner of the shot. Dapper looking sweet in his blankets and over-sized hoodie, hugging his bear to his chest. Red like a statue in motion, wielding his fighting staff, younger than you’ve seen him since Dapper sent him to the past. Rows and rows of pictures of them.

Anti shifts unhappily around his room, his body changing slightly, slightly. His hair curls up and tinges teal at the fringe, and he runs his fingers through his own hair like he’s petting himself.

Anonymous asked: How did you get all those pictures? Do you like take snapshots with your mind or something? Or did you have an actual camera?

“What’s the difference?” he grumbles. “I’m basically a walking hard drive. With a taste for blood. And, uh. I don’t know. Sentience. Hair. A couple too many teeth. I can go back and watch anything my cameras have recorded whenever I want. Printing them out is just moving data.”

He throws a knife at the wall, burying it just above one of Dapper’s teddies on a dresser.

spicydanhowell asked: seems like you really miss them, hm anti?

“Well, they’re mine, and I’m fucking pissed they’re gone, yeah!” He buries another knife on the teddy’s outline. “The only thing I know is that they’re fucking alive and probably not in jail. But I’ll have them back soon. And anyway, it doesn’t matter. Trick’s such a little sycophant he almost makes up for the others being gone. He’ll be home soon and then I can have some goddamn rest. This is some bullshit. Tell God I want a fucking refund.”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Wow, Anti. You actually miss your pets? Or do you really consider them your brothers?

“Family is a construct,” growls Anti, picking up the bear in his hands. “Dapper is a warm body. Doktor is an immune system. Red is a guard dog.”

He sighs and throws it aside.

“Fucked up, though. Used to hate how loud Red would be through the walls. Now I kind of want to hear him. What a little brat. Can’t believe he was separated from me. Bulletproof vest. Locked door. Guard dog. Safety.”

Anti puts his hands in his red hair.

Anonymous asked: Where's trick? Is he alright?

“Trick went to get some dinner and some books at the library,” Blue answers you, smiling faintly. “He really likes being allowed have some freedom. Just a bus ride and a couple errands, but he gets all proud, like he’s my breadwinner, taking care of me, haha. I love him. He’s mostly alright, but, uh. I have been noticing him acting strange.”

Blue draws his eyes away from the cartoon animal game he’s playing on Trick’s switch for a moment. “Something wrong in his head, I… I don’t know. He reacts strangely when I ask about Dok. I’m scared. I think it’s a trauma thing. He seems so spacey all the time. But he’s happy, I think? For the most part? Every now and then I wake up to him crying next to me, clutching at me, but who can blame him for that? I think I’d be more scared if he wasn’t upset that Dok was gone at all, which is… how he acts during the day. But yeah, I think he’s as okay as I could expect him to be, mostly. He plays this little thing constantly.”

Blue shakes the Switch at you for a second and the screen blacks out. Blue jolts, lifting his fingers away to see if he accidentally hit the power button.

“That’s not yours to play with,” comes a cool voice from his doorway.

Blue jumps and drops the Switch, letting out a hissing sigh through his teeth, annoyed and afraid, as he can’t help but be every time he’s in Anti’s presence these days. Every time he hears him, sees him, smells his oil smell or feels his electric sting, he is back on a Norweigan beach he barely remembers, back on the Rio Puturnayo, back in a hospital room, huddled on the floor as the blows rain down.

“Fuck off, Anti,” he spits.

Anti’s mouth curls with a snarl at him. “Poor little kitten,” he coos. “Poor stupid boy.”

“You don’t know anything about me,” says Blue.

“Or maybe I just don’t care,” answers Anti, slinking back into the living room, his eyes still on Blue as they both wait for Trick to get home.

bupine asked: why no pictures of trick or blue, anti? are you missing your boys? also, you seem to be having trouble keeping a stable form. any idea why that is?

“I have Trick and Blue,” grumbles Anti, throwing a hand up. “Don’t need to see them. Know where they are. Know that they’re safe. And I’m not - shut up!”

He glares down at his own body, flickering and flashing.

“I always glitch, that’s - I have a brand, goddammit! It’s this flesh that’s fucking horrible, I - motherfuck.”

He hisses and buries his claws in his own right arm, watching blood well up against the flesh for a second. Then the arm flickers back into incorporeality and the blood trickles onto the floor. He growls, yanking on his hair for a second, trying to keep calm.

“So infuriating,” he snarls. “I’m more powerful than I’ve ever been, but my own body rebels. Stupid fuck. Symbolic, probably, don’t you think? Even my own flesh knows I didn’t grow it myself.”

He barks out an odd laugh, shape-shifting again, that subtle, slow, constant switch. Just reassuring himself, with every moment that passes, that he can still do it. That he can still become data, immerse himself in code, travel by electricity. It’s just getting harder, that’s all.

And he is powerful. This, at least, is true. The windows of the house are blooming with flowers. The candles were Trick’s idea. Dozens of them lined around the house, constantly burning. A chance for his power to express itself instead of devouring him.

Anonymous asked: How are you feeling, Blue? It’s good to see you again!

“Thank you,” says Blue, cooling a little as Anti walks away, pulling you back to him and flopping back on the bed. “I’m feeling, well. I’ve kind of gone stagnant? Like the last couple days, I feel okay, but I’ve stopped… getting better, sort of. Just tired and kind of achey and, well, frail. Having bad headaches too, and I still, uh.”

He touches his foggy eyes.

“Tried glasses,” he says quietly. “Big thick prescription glasses. Trick called me Monty Mole for two hours without fail. But they don’t cut through much of anything. The world is a permanent blur, ha… but you know what! Otherwise, I’m okay. Just been resting. This asshole hasn’t bothered me too much.”

He lets his hand flail towards Anti irritably.

“Oh, and guess what?”

He smiles winningly at you and then -

He pushes himself to his feet without help! All the way from sitting on the mattress on the floor to standing upright.

“Tada! Thank you, thank you, that’s right, I’m Blue the Magnificent, I’ll be here all week! Oh - shit!”

He crashes back towards the wall, laughing a little from the surprise and the slight embarrassment, though he still looks pleased with himself. He snatches up a cane that’s leaning on a windowsill and steadies himself on it, smiling at you.

“Tada,” he repeats warmly, standing upright.

“Meow,” cheers Noodle.

“Thank you, my dear.”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Is Noodle keeping you good company, Blue?

“Well,” sighs Blue. “The truth is I’m not really fond of cats.”

He stares down at Noodle and Noodle stares back at him.

“But after a bit of that hospital breakdown you saw, I know that Anti made me stop being fond of cats,” he adds softly. “And… killed mine.”

Noodle mewls softly, stepping forward to weave between his legs.

“So I’m trying to get used to him again!” says Blue, trying to find his cheerful voice. “Because I did like cats, I did! I don’t know what else he changed about my mind when he first took it over, but I want it back. And Anti can try to destroy me but I will keep fighting against it, even if only in these little ways.”

He summons his determination and leans down. Noodle bursts into throaty purring as Blue’s soft fingers scratch across his skull and golden kitten ears.

Anonymous asked: Hey any progress is good progress babey!! You’re doing so well! Very proud, so yes, cheers all around for Blue the Magnificent!

“I know, haha, thank you, yeah! I’m excited, I am! Like, it’s such a small step, but it’s a step, you know? It’s nice being able to get to the bathroom on my own and stuff like that. Honestly, when you’re really sick, it’s the small things that can be really demoralizing. Not that there was anything to be ashamed of! But it… felt like there was. Especially with how helpless I know I am in front of him.”

He glances over at Anti sitting in the den and he straightens his back fiercely, standing on that cane. He did good. He has to keep believing in himself. He’s making progress and Anti can’t stop him fighting.

Anonymous asked: HmmMMMM Anti it looks like your emotions are bleeding though a little bit....y’know cuz red is- yeah anyways, where did Chaser go?

“Great, great,” snaps Anti. “Yeah, I get it, betrayal of the flesh, blah blah. You know what, I already look fucking indistinguishable to the person I hate most in the world, so maybe destiny could just call that fucking good, but no, let’s add on to the discomfort of looking in a mirror.”

He kicks the stairs in the den space just for the hell of it. Stupid tangible feet.

“Not even my face,” he whispers, low and bitter. “He lives in the curves of me, in the cut of my jaw, in the way my eyes move. No matter how much I try to shape-shift. I wake up every morning looking just like him - but not like him - all over again. Bullshit. Made me a copycat and a fake at the same time. Bullshit.”

He heaves out a sigh, his black eyes stormy.

Laughter from the street interrupts his mood and he sits up a little, his face calming. He can hear Trick. Good, Anti’s sick of feeling alone. He gets up and looks through the window above the kitchen sink.

Trick must still be coming down the pavement because he can hear him talking and laughing, but he can’t see him. Who the hell is he talking to? Himself? Did his little mind finally snap? Is Anti going to have to burrow into his fleshy little head yet again?

“I’m telling you, I do like them!” he hears Trick laughing. “I do, I’m not lying, haha! It’s just I think the satay noodles are my favorite. But all the shit you guys cook is amazing, seriously. Yeah, I - no, I don’t think I have! Oh! Maybe I can try it tomorrow. Will you be there again?”

Anti stands back on his heels, frowning. His form flickers darkly.

Anonymous asked: We’re really proud of you, Blue. Really. You’ve been so strong though all of this. I’d be squishing you in a big hug rn if I could! Keep doing what you’re doing, be independent and don’t let no bitch tell you what you can’t and can do! You’ve got this :)

“Don’t let no bitch - haha, okay, thank you.” Blue laughs and sits down on the sill of his window, letting his head rest against the glass. “Hey, tell Trick to hurry up with dinner. That’ll be the real celebration. I love the hawker food he keeps bringing me. Glad I can eat for real, even if this is a little annoying.”

He takes the nasal cannula out of his nose in preparation for dinner. He’s getting better at breathing without it, even planning to try to sleep through a night without it soon. His lungs are recovering from the smoke and the burning. He breathes in deeply against the cool glass, his eyes noticing something out near the front of the house he’s never seen before, a colorful mess of cloth. Someone must have left it behind on the rusted old pole of metal that used to hold a hummingbird feeder or something. Weird.

Anonymous asked: Hey, trick! Whatcha up to?

Anti steps slightly back from the kitchen window and let his mind flood into the camera Trick carries with him.

Clothes shuffle and move around the screen. If you had to guess you would say Trick’s probably shoved the little camera in his hoodie pocket. From that one circle of light in the side of the pocket, you can see white hands with long red nails, and you can hear her tittering laugh over the sound of Trick’s almost breathless, enthusiastic talking.

“Dude, no! I’m telling you, these are for my nerd brother.”

“You’re sure? You’re sure? You’re not a secret professor of poetry, Connor?”

“Fucking look at me, do I look like a professor of anything?”

“Uh… skate-boarding?”

“Skate - ” He cuts himself off with a laugh and they both dissolve into giggles. Her hand brushes over his as they both gesticulate.

“Maybe weed?”

“I could be a professor of that, okay, you’re right. How about Minecraft?”

“Yeah, professor of Minecraft, I can see it. Kittens?”

“Now you’re just flattering me. I do love my kitten. Converse?”

“Noodle-eating?”

“Super Smash Bros.”

“America.”

“Just the whole of - hahaha!”

And they’re laughing together, there on the pavement just out of Anti’s sight as the sun glows red and pink over them. They’re laughing together and holding poetry books they picked out together at the library and take-out boxes full of hawker stand noodles and you know it’s Xin Yi, you know it is, and when there’s a soft silence and you can hear the both of them pause and look and breathe - well, then you know that he’s leaned in to press his chapped and loving mouth to her soft cheek, and that’s she smiling, and so is he.

Anti steps back again from the window.

He can hear the blood pumping loud, loud, loud through his head.

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Trick! Trick! Be careful!

Trick’s still got his camera turned off.

The message goes to Blue.

You see his eyes flicker and his pupils shrink. His hands grip down tight around you.

“What?” he stammers. “What did Trick do?”

He’s on his shaky, shaky feet before you can answer. Staggering out into the den, using his cane, his oxygen strapped to his back. Trick. He has to protect Trick. That is all that matters.

“Trick?” he calls. “Amata?”

But there’s just Anti in the kitchen.

Still as can be.

The floorboards beneath his feet have burned down to the earth below.

Smoldering still.

Anonymous asked: Wait Anti don't punish Trick please! You know that he'd never leave you or doubt you or anything like that. For god's sake, he attached the collar that's traumatized him so much for you and never left your side these past days and helped you ground yourself and did those little things like the candles around the house for you. He's utterly loyal to you and he's undeniably yours, please Anti. Don't punish him for this.

“You can’t hurt him,” says Blue, over the soft hiss of the floorboards burning.

Anti doesn’t move.

“He loves you,” says Blue, louder. “Maybe more than anyone ever has. He’d do anything to make you happy. It’s horrible, but it’s true. He loves you or he thinks he does. Deeply, deeply. You can’t hurt him. They’re right. He’s done everything for you. He’d give you anything. Utterly loyal, undeniably yours. Maybe the last one of us who is. You can’t punish him for this. Just tell him no and he won’t - whatever he did, he’ll stop.”

Trick is coming up towards the door.

Anti stares at him, his eyes flickering. Black, brown, red, green, blue, white.

“Anti,” says Blue.

He is begging.

“Anti.”

spicydanhowell asked: you fucking did this though. in another world, if you were kind to them, they could have been a happy little brainwashed following for you. but you're not even kind enough to be a good tyrant... that's interesting.... you Drove them Away. they don't love you anymore. none of them

Anti can hear the words pounding through his own head.

You drove them away.

They don’t love you anymore.

None of them.

Anti has hurt, and hurt, and hurt, and hurt them.

He knows that.

But he always thought he would be enough to make it not matter.

He always thought he would be enough if he just tried.

Dapper is gone. Red’s not there to make him feel safe. Dok’s not there to help him if he’s hurt. Blue doesn’t want him. And all Anti has had for almost two weeks now is Trick.

Warm, loving Trick. The collar wrapped around his throat. His fierce blue eyes.

Anti thought he had been good to him. Kind to him. Warm to him.

And he still isn’t… he still can’t be… Trick still wants…

“Hey, Blue?” he says.

“What?”

“Why am I not angry?”

“You - are you not?”

He is paralyzed. Impaled. Petrified like a fossil.

“My chest hurts,” he says, and he leans over the silver sink of the unused home and vomits blood like a mortal.

Anonymous asked: You know he'd burn down the world for you if you asked him, would stay by your side even if you're burning in hell or lashing out at him. As Blue said, just order him or tell him that he can't do this ever again and he'll do it within a heartbeat. Please, Anti...

“Awww,” says Blue, and you can hear the cold sneer of his mouth even before you can see it. He moves on his shuddering legs to stand behind Anti, close enough that he can feel the burn of his own magic dammed up too powerfully in Anti’s chest. “Poor thing. Is my stolen magic making the little demon sick? Are you such a little virgin you get jealous of a single kiss on her cheek? What exactly are you compensating for that you can’t bear to see your fucking brother find a cute girl to hold hands with? Does that sting, Anti? Does it burn? Imagine if someone told you to hold that much power in for weeks… and weeks… and weeks… and then, after you lost control after all that obedience, they possessed you, cut you open, stole your soul, and blamed you for it. Would that hurt, do you think, little demon? Does it burn, Anti, does my magic burn?”

Anti turns like a snake striking to spit blood into Blue’s face, grabbing him by the throat and sending him crashing to the ground.

“Trick is the only one left who loves you,” cries Blue even as he scrambles away, his blue eyes flashing, his chest heaving for air. “Trick is probably the only person in the world who cares about you at all, and you’re going to hurt him because he blushed over a girl who showed him kindness? No wonder you’re so fucking miserable, you snake-faced son of a bitch. You need control so badly that you can’t even consider that we could ever love anyone other than you. How do you bear the twin system, anyway?”

“I’m the one who makes you love your twins,” hisses Anti, blood sliding out of his mouth. “You and Red could barely stand to look at each other before I wiped your minds clean.”

A burst of pain slams against Blue’s chest. “That’s not true!”

“Trust me, darling, it is, you can ask them. Red was baring his teeth at you, didn’t trust you, didn’t want you there. Then I swept it all away and told him to love you and he woke up not even knowing why he felt so fond of you. That’s what your whole relationship is based on. Just like your dislike of cats, Blue. I choose everything about who you are and you don’t even realize it.”

“Shut up!” screams Blue. “You’re a liar!”

“You’ll never be free of me. None of you will. This - this is the last straw, this and your traitorous brothers hiding away in South America. I won’t take any more of this. I will destroy this girl. Not just her but the warmth of her, the meaning of her, the need for her. Trick won’t even want anyone but me and the people I choose for him when this is over.”

“Guys?” squeaks a terrified voice at the door. “Wh - wh - what’s - ? Anti? Blue? Are you hurting each other?”

“Your fucking brother is losing his mind,” chokes Anti, turning to vomit over the sink again, fire licking across his teeth. “Shouting at me while I’m ill.”

“Don’t listen to him, Trick, he wants to hurt you for kissing that girl!”

Trick stares between the two of them, utterly flummoxed. Anti sets his gaze on him and a sudden terror rushes into his bones.

“A - Anti? Big brother?”

spicydanhowell asked: trick... sir... anti's gonna be mad at you for this???

“But - but - no,” stammers Trick, holding out his hands, confused, bewildered, terrified. “Anti, I… you’ve been so nice to me. You wouldn’t hurt me just for - she’s so nice, Anti, why can’t I - ?”

Anti’s hand draws back to strike him and Trick cowers and the blow -

The blow -

“Trick,” hisses Anti. Chokes Anti. Stammers Anti. “What - why would you - I don’t understand?”

“Anti,” says Trick, and then he starts laughing.

Anti stares at him, eyes huge. He looks down at Blue and Blue stares back at him, shaking his head.

“Anti!” Trick repeats, and grabs his shoulders. “Man, come on, what the hell!”

“Don’t laugh at me, you little brat!”

But he is, he’s laughing, and smiling at Anti, and holding his shoulders, and hugging him. “You’re so - oh, fuck’s sake, Anti. Are you jealous I kissed a girl?”

“No!”

“If you need help with girls, I could - ”

“I don’t care about girls, Trick!”

“Oh, well then maybe Blue or Red would be more help in that department, but - ”

“I’m angry at you!”

“But you wouldn’t hurt me,” says Trick softly, still smiling. “You would never hurt me.”

Blue stares up at Trick.

And he can see - oh, fuck, he can see the glaze of the hypnotism over his eyes. He can see the influence.

Trick can’t even comprehend it right now, that Anti would hurt him. Trick probably didn’t think twice about bringing Xin Yi back here.

Because Anti is his family and Anti loves him and Anti wouldn’t hurt him over a kiss on the cheek.

Right?

“Trick,” he hears himself whisper. “My little brother.”

How many times has Anti wormed inside his head today alone? How many of his thoughts are turned back towards him? How much of Trick is even still in there?

“You… didn’t even think about it, did you?” says Anti, very quiet. “How I would react to this.”

“No, I did! I want to tell you all about her, she’s so cool! Anti, she’s super cute, did you see her? And hey, I think they might have a brother, I could - ”

“Stop,” says Anti. “Stop. Let me breathe for a second.”

Trick stops immediately and fetches a towel from the bathroom, returning moments later to start wiping the blood gently from his mouth. “Poor thing,” he mumbles, touching Anti’s face without fear. “I’m sorry if I upset you, Anti. But you shouldn’t feel threatened. That’s kind of dumb, man.”

“I’m going to kill you,” growls Anti.

“Yeah, yeah,” says Trick, smiling at him.

And that’s it. It’s done. You see the moment Anti regains control.

The confusion is gone. The snake is back.

“Oh, Trick,” he soothes, reaching out to cup his face in return, and Blue gasps and hides his face as Anti’s eyes turn black and drowning. “You don’t understand, do you, little brother?”

Trick’s eyes unfocus like a blind man’s. He hums distantly, the towel pausing on Anti’s cheek.

aether-mae asked: Trick, it’s not safe to have friends outside of your family at the moment, as much as I hate to say. Anti will definitely hurt her to keep you all to himself.

“You’re going to hurt me?” asks Trick distantly, swaying slightly on his feet.

“I thought about it,” answers Anti, smiling sweetly at him, carding his hands through his hair. “It would have been so easy. Maybe I still will. Shove you in the shed and beat you til you’re sobbing for me to kill you.”

Trick’s eyes flicker, but his mouth is still smiling.

“It’s not your fault, really,” says Anti, brushing his fingers through his soft locks. “You have abandonment issues, don’t you?”

“Yeah, okay.”

“You just want everybody to love you, poor thing.”

“I do,” confesses Trick, his face faltering with grief. “I do.”

“Course you fell for a sweet girl. Blue’s been useless to you. Dok’s gone. You must have been confused. But, see, you don’t know what I know, Trick.”

“What, Anti?”

Anti puts his head down on his shoulder, staring up at him, his mouth close to his ear.

“I’ve seen girls break your heart, Trick.”

“Break my heart?”

Anti runs his fingers over the scar in Trick’s head.

“She made you do this… you don’t remember. I made you stop thinking about her. I set you free from her.”

“You… you weren’t being possessive. You were trying to protect me?”

“That’s right, little brother. Besides, what do you need her for? Your family is right here, Trick. You don’t want to give our cover away, do you? They’d send you off to jail… take all your brothers away from you… take me away from you. You don’t want that, do you?”

Trick shakes his head swiftly, making himself dizzy. He clutches on to Anti for support, eyes drifting back towards his skull.

“Stop it!” screams Blue, no longer able to stand it. “Leave him alone! You’re ripping him apart every day! He doesn’t like having you in his head?”

“You want me to bind you up in your own vines and beat you til you cry again?” snaps Anti, turning to level a violent glare at him. Blue is paralyzed beneath the gaze.

Anonymous asked: We've seen old magical books, Anti. Blue's magic is going to kill you. It's adjusting your form to fit its true host and it'll keep doing it until it wastes you away or gets rid of your old incorporeality. You've made quite the big mess for yourself, haven't you? And still all you can do is boil in rage and self-righteous anger. Your rage controls you, you've never been the one in control here. That'll never change, Antisepticeye.

Anti seethes with fury, turning his venom gaze onto you, clutching Trick tighter, tighter, tighter to his chest.

“You don’t want to see that girl ever again,” hisses Anti. “Unless it’s when the two of us go to slaughter her for ever laying a hand on what belongs to me.”

“What belongs to you,” repeats Trick distantly, hiding his face against his neck and humming a song to himself.

“You didn’t like being with her. The sight of her makes your heart race. You’ll feel ill if you see her again. You’ll want to hide and come back to me. You’re terrified she’ll hurt you like the first girl did. You don’t want that. You don’t want to be with anyone anymore. Just stay here with your family, with your brothers, where it’s safe. Where no one can hurt your heart. You won’t go. You won’t want anyone other than me.”

“No, I don’t.”

“In fact,” Anti adds in a snarl, turning back to you, and this, you can hear, is your punishment. “If you ever start to think that anyone is more important to you than me, I’ll take the memory of them from you forever.”

The slightest trepidation interrupts Trick’s daze. You see the flicker of his eyes.

“H… Henrik?” he whispers.

Anti’s possessive grip on him tightens, tightens, tightens.

“Yes,” he whispers. “If you ever break the rules like this again, I will make you forget even Henrik.”

Trick seems to wilt against him, panting softly.

“I have the power. You would forget everything about him. And he would still remember you, but you would only see a stranger. Wouldn’t that be just horrible?”

He nods against Anti’s shoulder.

“Anti, I - I’m sorry. I’m sorry, forgive me.”

“Don’t worry, Trick,” Anti whispers, gripping his hair. “I will help you make this right.”

Blue stares up at him from the floor, tears in his eyes. Anti smiles viciously back. His teeth are still red.

Yes. He is in control. No one else. And maybe it feels like the others abandoned him, betrayed him, turned against him, found someone new. But no - no. Soon, soon as Blue can travel, they will go back to Peru.

And then Anti will take his family back again.

No one else will get in the way.

No one else ever could in the past. Kamenye. Brody-Chen. Deshmuhk. Sforza. Every casual hook-up Marvin was sleeping with, every idiot friend or loyal coworker. They don’t even matter now. They’re dead, or gone, or scattered like cowards in hiding across the earth.

Anti looks up Xin Yi’s last name.

Koh. Pretty.

Koh won’t matter either.

“We will make this right,” he repeats.

And he does not notice the fabric fluttering on the hummingbird feeder in his front yard.

A warning sign.

There are consequences to the blood that Anti has shed across the earth.

There are survivors.

Anonymous asked: Tell me you didn't touch Chase's family, Anti. His kids??

Anti smiles down at Trick’s dazed face.

Then he slaps him so hard Trick goes crashing to the earth, a handprint red against his skin, and Blue lets out a scream on his brother’s behalf, crawling forward to snatch him away from Anti.

“Stupid fucker,” growls Anti.

“You’re disgusting!” screams Blue, hiding Trick against his chest. “Hurting other people just so you can feel like you’re in control! It’s pathetic!”

“I am in control!” Anti screams back, jerking forward fast enough to make Blue cry out in fear, grabbing his broken nose. Anti laughs hard, throwing his head back. “I’m the pathetic one? Every one else is like a squirming rat to me! Chase’s fucking kids. You should be grateful I don’t kill children. But it doesn’t matter. Either way, it doesn’t matter. He’ll never, ever see them again. Even if he could get free of me, those little brats are so deep in hiding even Red couldn’t hunt them down.”

“He has children?” cries Blue. “You took him from his family? Trick has children?”

“He belongs to me!” screams Anti. “He was always owed to me! The children were more of an accident than I was, and that’s a fucking miracle. Now get in your room before I decide I want to see you eating through a tube for the second time this month!”

Blue grabs Trick and scrambles back towards their room, his brother barely able to cooperate.

“Fucking girl, touching what’s mine!” he hears Anti scream, his body spasming apart into a myriad of violent colors, blood weeping down his chin again, meeting the open wound in his throat. Roots tear at his feet and the candles in the room burn like fire spirits performing a ritual to a war god. “Thieves, everyone, everyone! I hate outsiders, I hate intruders, I hate them! This is our story! The six of us and him! Anyone else is a distraction, an outlier, a mistake. Anyone else who tries to intervene can die like the worms they are.”

Blue drags Trick into his room and collapses, slamming the door shut behind them.

Anonymous asked: Literally- Bitch- Anon said "you let your rage control you" and you /immediately/ let your rage control you. Jesus christ your lack of self awareness is downright hilarious at this point Anti.

Your screen-four camera goes flying across the room the moment the message reaches Anti and crashes into Blue and Trick’s door, shattering your view into static. Blue lets out a little yelp, backing away from the door.

A drawn-out yowl like a tiny tornado siren from behind the mattress indicates Noodle’s terror.

“It’s okay, baby, it’s okay,” calls Blue to the cat, panting, pulling Trick into his lap and touching his reddened face. “Oh, Trick, Trick… my love, my amata, my brother… are you alright, my heart, are you okay? Your kitten wants you, yeah? Should I get him for you?”

Trick’s eyes are screwed shut.

He is crying in silence.

“My love,” repeats Blue in a whisper, pressing their foreheads together and gathering him into his arms. “My love. Here I am. Here I am. No one will hurt you now.”

Anonymous asked: It's literally in your own best interest to give Blue's magic back, Anti. It will kill you if you don't. YOU JUST VOMITED UP BLOOD. well, it IS your choice to keep it or not, but you won't have anyone to blame but yourself if it does something irreparable to you.

You can see him from the cameras in the corner of every room.

Panting over the sink.

Face white. Image moving.

“I’m powerful,” he whispers. “I’m more powerful than I’ve ever been. Every day, my control is stronger. At the end of every day, I’m so ill I think I will die, and I bleed and shake and grow ill like men do, b-but… but the rest of the day… my strength, my strength!”

He crumples slightly over the sink, his arms trembling.

“If I could just find a way to be both tangible and incorporeal… there must be a way… there must be a way to fix this yet. And even if I wanted to, even if I wanted to…”

He stands for a long, long time shivering over the sink.

In fact, most of you will have turned your attention away by the time he speaks again.

And even if you have not, he still speaks so quietly as to barely touch the ear - a whisper to make the kitchen a confessional - a secret -

“I don’t,” his bloodied tongue confesses. “Know how.”

Anonymous asked: Stand strong Blue. Defend your baby brother. Even if he does hurt you, at least that'll prick a hole in Trick's current false reality and bring him back to earth a bit.

“Right,” whispers Blue, curled low around Trick’s body. “Yes, I have to look after him. Yes, no matter what. Trick… amata. Fuck, I used to know your name… but it doesn’t matter, I love you.”

He cards his thumb across Trick’s cheeks, brushing tears away. “It’s okay, mo deartháir. Just hold onto me. Oh… well, let me get my oxygen.”

He grabs at his chest for a second, struggling softly, trying to pull in air. Eventually he manages to pull himself across the room and put his cannula back in his nose, taking a deep breath in.

“Blue,” cries Trick softly, clutching at his shirt.

“Trick,” answers Blue, wrapping back around him. “Trick, Trick. Sh, darling, okay. Here, look, your little paper, do you want it?”

He presses the blue crinkle paper into his brother’s palm and Trick wraps his fingers around it, hiding in Blue’s stomach.

“And your cat? Come here, kitty kitty, yes, there’s a good sweet boy.”

He scoops Noodle up and places him on Trick’s chest. He’s a sweet, intelligent cat, and immediately he is banging his little head up against Trick’s chin, mewling for attention. Trick palm closes around his growing golden body. Soft as duck down.

“What happened?” sobs Trick. “I was - I was happy and then so scared and I can’t remember why… Blue, someone’s going to hurt me, don’t let them hurt me! Blue, Blue!”

“No one’s going to hurt you,” swears Blue, pulling him close. They’re warm as space heaters against each other, curled up on the floor together. “It was - Trick, it was Anti, but I won’t let him - ”

“Oh, no,” breathes Trick, looking immediately dazed again, his eyes drooping. “He protects me, he loves me, he would never…”

Distantly, he touches his stinging cheek. Blue pulls the fingers away and leans down to kiss the mark, stroking his fingers through Trick’s hair as he cries soft against his chest.

“I was so happy,” says Trick. “Where did it go? What happened? I can’t remember… I must have really fucked up, Blue, I’m such a screw-up, I ruin everything…”

“I’m so sorry, amata,” whispers Blue. “Oh, no, Trick, not for a moment. You didn’t do anything wrong at all. You didn’t do a single thing wrong. You didn’t know Xin Yi would be in danger here. You didn’t mean to make Anti angry. You didn’t do anything. You’re so sweet to me, and to him too, even though he doesn’t deserve it.”

“Who’s Xin Yi?”

Blue winces, putting his forehead down against Trick’s. “I… I…”

“Is - Blue, is Anti going to make me h-hurt someone?”

“I - I don’t know, Trick. Not if I can help it. We won’t let it happen, okay? We won’t let it happen.”

“Please hold me…”

“Here I am.”

“Blue,” whispers Trick. “I love you more than air. But I want Dok so, so much. Why isn’t he here? Why won’t he come back to me? Doesn’t he want me anymore?”

“He’s just lost, Trick,” Blue answers. “He still loves you so much. Won’t it be nice to see him again after so long?”

“I’ll hug him,” says Trick simply, his breathing beginning to calm a little. “I’ll be able to sleep again, when Dok is… when Dok is…”

His gaze drifts. He’s only allowed to think about Dok for so long. His brain no longer holds on the thought of him for more than a minute, and so, several times a day he feels a great pang of grief, and then a numb confusion as it disappears again.

“Just let me hold on to you,” says Blue. “I got you.”

“You got me,” answers Trick, smiling weakly up at him. “You’re really good to me, Blue. Love you so much.”

“I love you, Trick.”

“Ekk,” says Noodle, licking Trick’s chin. Trick hugs him close and listens to his roar of a purr.

Blue finds Dok’s shirt amid Trick’s nest. He drapes it over them both. Faintly, Trick registers the smell of him. Blue’s fingers soothe his pain and his fear away, moving through his hair and across his back. Blue is holding him. Blue loves him. No matter what. Right now, it’s all that matters.

Anonymous asked: Trick please... You don't have to change yourself or act like someone you're not for the sake of making everyone happy. They love you for you. They love Trick and not... Whoever. Just... Blue please tell him? It would mean a lot more if it came from you. -🦀

Blue softens, staring at you for a second.

Fuck, but he’s glad to have someone on his side.

“You guys and Mr. Noodle here,” he murmurs, curling low over his brother, hugging him close.

“Hey,” he whispers. “I love you just the way you are.”

Trick stares up at him, his eyes wet and his mouth smiling sorrowfully.

“Blue,” he whispers, like a single-syllable song.

“Don’t want you to think you have to change for him,” chokes Blue, kissing his cheek again.

“Who’s him?”

He can’t bear to fight with him about Anti right now. Blue puts his face down against Trick’s shoulder.

It’s Trick’s turn to run his fingers across Blue’s scalp, soothing him even as he continues to cry. Their arms wrap around each other’s shoulders and ribs like a weary twilight Pieta. Blue gives his brother time. He needs it too. A half hour, an hour. Rocking him in his arms and listening to him snuffle and cry and try to figure out what happened, his confused mind making a mess of it and leaving him exhausted in Blue’s arms. Still, he has enough presence of mind to find the most important thing to say, when finally Blue feels his heart slow against his fingertips.

“I love you too,” swears Trick. “Just the way you are.”

“Anti made me the way I am,” says Blue. “And it’s not enough to protect you.”

“It’s always enough,” Trick says, with a reverence like a prayer. “Don’t you know you make me want to love myself?”

Warm hands and bodies pressed close together. The purring of a cat and the brotherhood shared in twin eyes.

Blue knocks their foreheads softly together.

“You and me?” he whispers, settling down against their nest.

“Yes,” says Trick. “No matter what happens. I have you, Blue.”

“Amata,” says Blue, trying to make up for the times Anti has said it with his lying mouth, trying to make up for all the times Anti corrupted this one truth that still remains. “Amata. Amata. Beloved. I love you.”

The sun has come down blue as the felt between the night sky and warm on their shoulders. Trick, Blue realizes, has fallen asleep in his arms.

--------------

Anonymous asked: Hey Henrik, you should ask the magicians for some candles that you can light on the shabbats! I think finally being allowed/able to practice your culture will really help you on your journey to healing. Remember dayenu, remember the blessings and songs. You're free, dok, you can have more than just Hanukkah now.

You find Henrik sitting in that dusty library basement, surrounded by the tall shelves of the books, flipping wearily through the pages of some stiff yellow tome. He’s surrounded by books, but, for once, all on his own. He no longer feels the need to be lead around or escorted. He knows he’s not a prisoner and, what’s more, he goes where he pleases.

“Ah,” he says, pushing his glasses up on his nose and giving you a small smile. “Well… that’s very nice. And I’d like to do some of that, maybe. I remember my songs and blessings even when I’m with Anti, but I don’t always use them anyhow.”

He sighs and fiddles with the pages of the book. “It is just not that easy as jumping back into it, yeah? Like… fuck, I don’t know. Anti’s not the only thing that’s been stopping me from my practices, I guess. My relationship with my faith is… well, it’s a lot of strings to untangle. I’d like to go back to having a real community, but even if I didn’t feel like I was going back to Anti soon, I’m still not sure I feel like I… I belong, you know, I’m just…”

He trails off, pulling his book closer and shaking his head.

There’s movement on the other side of the library and he blinks, looking around, but he settles back down to his reading.

“Trying to find more info on what Anti is,” he says, changing the subject. “But no real luck. I don’t think he’s anything anyone has ever seen before.”

cest-mellow asked: hey henrik, i’m glad they took you here. it’s very pretty. but, listen, there is a way you can potentially help blue and stop anti. this is gonna sound scary, but emmanuela wants to take a little look inside your head, just to see what antis done, nothing more. she’s very warm, she doesn’t want to cause you or your brothers any sort of harm. she really will help you, and blue, and red and dapper and trick, if you trust her with this. she won’t use any of this against you, it’s only to help.

“Oh, scheisse,” groans Henrik, putting a nail between his teeth. “JP mentioned something like that at dinner. I - oh, get this! They made me eat fucking lamb’s intestines and wouldn’t tell me what it was until I was done, haha. I wanted to be pissed but, okay, listen, lamb’s intestines? Kind of good. I ate… a lot of it, haha.”

He’s a healthier person than when he came here almost two weeks ago, his face flushed with health. He’s been exercising again - turns out he’s something of a runner, which is not something he would have guessed about himself - and he eats three meals a day, every day, and sleeps in every morning.

“Wait until I get them back with something really German, then we’ll see who’s laughing. Oh my gosh, I can still feel how chewy it was! And the kids are so funny, because they will just gobble it down, they just - ”

He pauses and clears his throat. “Sorry, we were talking about Emmanuela. Yes. Um.”

He lets out a deep breath, fidgeting with his book. “I think I trust her. I know the others do and that’s about enough for me. But someone in my head is - that sounds scary, I - I don’t know. I’ve been disillusioned about so many things for so long and I’m still waking up to them. I’m scared she’ll find that there are important things I believe in that are lies too. That maybe everything is a lie. She’ll find something like Trick doesn’t love me without Anti there or Dapper is as bad as Anti or Anti is really… is really…”

He shakes his head slowly, staring down at his books.

“Is really and truly irredeemable. I don’t know that I could bear it…”

There’s movement again, closer to him. He blinks, looking up, shrinking in on himself a little. The lights flicker off on one half of the library and he jolts, staring around him, shadowed half in darkness. Footsteps and he shivers.

“Hermann?” he calls. “Nina?”

No answer from the darkness.

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Henrik, maybe you should be on your guard. Where did all the others go?

“I don’t know, just hanging around,” he says, getting to his feet. “I - I’m just being paranoid. Nobody can reach me here. Nothing’s going to hurt me.”

It’s become something of a mantra for him. He whispers it to himself after nightmares and triggers, hiding away on his own, holding his own arms around his shoulders.

“Maybe I’ll go. It’s getting late anyway. I’m just being paranoid. Nobody can reach me here. Nothing’s going to hurt me.”

“Funny,” answers a voice, and Henrik shudders, backing against the shelves, his breath picking up in his chest.

This voice has the thickest Spanish accent yet, almost too heavy for Henrik to understand. The shaking of the voice - the croaking, rasping, cold hiss of the trembling voice - does not make it any easier.

“Funny,” repeats the Old Man, somewhere close by. Somewhere between the shelves of the placid, dusted old library, half-dark. “Funny, funny. A joke, almost. My son, you know, he think the same thing before your brother kill him.”

A snake longer than Henrik’s entire body comes dripping down the bookshelf in front of him, golden eyes fixed directly on him.

hurricael asked: Hey magicians, do you know if someone giving back magic has ever been recorded? And if so, how? Like, magic that was taken and then given back to that person ((I'm a little timeline-muddled so if this doesn't fit here feel free to ignore it))

“Have you been looking for answers?” asks the Old Man, and Henrik whirls as his voice seems to move, almost like Anti’s does, and Henrik feels his heart constrict. “Have you been looking for salvación for your killer family? For all the different kind of murderer you love? For the one who kill Jose, and the one who kill Christofer when he go to help you, and the one who tortures Genesis?”

Fuck. Henrik closes his eyes tight against the memories. No! He won’t be intimidated by this man. He won’t be cowed. He’s Henrik, Dok, their brother.

“You don’t understand!” he cries. “You don’t understand anything about us.”

“Everybody like to say it’s complicated when bad things happen,” answers the Old Man. “You are here, you talk about religion down here? Talk about going back to being a good Jew? It’s complicated. Nobody understand. You tell yourself. But sometimes? You were just wrong. You were just evil. And not everybody deserves salvación.”

“No,” croaks Henrik. “You can’t just - ”

“If you had wanted answers,” says the Old Man. “I am the one who know every book in this library. Here’s your answer: no, your thieving, blood-thirsty brother can’t give the magic back, or at least that is not in any of the books, in any of the history. Same way your black and white brother can’t undo the scars on Genesis, and your red brother can’t bring my child back from the dead.”

Henrik leaps the snake and races back towards the stairs. His hands are growing wet with - oh, oh, what is this? When did he begin to bleed?

“Hey!” he screams, tumbling against a bookshelf. “What are you doing? Please stop! I’m sorry about your child but I didn’t - ah!”

Blood is running down his cheeks. Down his chest. Down his arms. He screams as cuts appear, painless but weeping, across his skin. Thick, heavy scars in some places, neat little patterns in others. The same scars Anti and Dapper gave Genesis. Henrik can feel the star shape on his cheek. Chain burns redden on his shaking wrists.

“The longer you stay here,” hisses the Old Man. “The more tired I am of excuses for everything your family is done to mine. You are not worth defending if monster comes back. You were not worth Jose and Christofer. You should not be here.”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: GENESIS! ANYONE! HENRIK IS IN DANGER!

Genesis gets the notification on her phone, turning you on to let you see her splayed out on her bed, eating crackers.

“What?” she says through a half-full mouth, and then the message kind of registers, and she’s scrambling to her feet, spilling crumbs everywhere. “What? Where is he? Anti can’t have gotten in here. Emmanuela!”

She races out of her room, tearing open the door to Henrik’s room, but he isn’t inside.

Anonymous asked: Genesis, the Old Man is attacking henrik, isn’t there any way for you guys to stop him??

“Motherfucker!” shouts Genesis, even louder than she called for Emmanuela, tearing down towards the stairs. “He would not! He did not! Emmanuela will eviscerate him!”

“Genesis? What’s going on?” calls one of the three children, poking their heads out of the dining room.

“Go get everyone for me, now! It’s an emergency. The Old Man’s lost it. I shouldn’t have left the medico alone!”

She’s charging down the stairs already. “Henrik!” she shouts. “It’s okay, I’m coming! It’s not real, medico!”

Henrik can’t hear her. He’s curled up in a ball, clutching at his head, your camera abandoned beside him.

“Do you remember me?” asks a voice you haven’t heard in weeks, and the heavy boots of the enormous magician who had tried to carry Trick back to the car to be with Henrik appear in your vision. Christofer leans down over Henrik and blood comes pulsing from his throat, a great dog’s-teeth wound tearing his neck into bloody shreds. “Do you remember I tried to help you?”

“Stop!” he screams. “Please, no!”

There’s another body behind him a moment later. You’ve never seen this magician before, but you know who he is. He holds the great black book that Anti stole and used to take Marvin’s magic. Red killed him.

“Is it easy?” says Jose. “To pretend all the people you hurt are just side characters, nameless, forgotten the moment you put a blade in them? How many people have you killed, medico? How many of their names do you remember now? All of them had people who loved them.”

“I never wanted to!” screams Henrik.

“But that isn’t quite true now, is it?” sneers Jose’s image, and Henrik can hear himself laughing wildly, crazed, can hear the horrible squealch of his scalpel impaling a body again and again, cackling and babbling in German, and Anti cooing in his ear:

“There’s my good Doktor. There’s my little torturer. Now, at last you can admit it - you never became a doctor to heal anybody. You always wanted to feel what it would be like to kill someone and hold their heart in your hands.”

Henrik sobs and wraps his arms around himself. “Trick!” he screams. “Trick, please!”

Anonymous asked: It’s an old man, talking about how red killed his child. They’re in the library and he’s freaking Henrik out!

Genesis bounds down the stairs and finds Henrik shaking at the bottom, curled into a ball, holding his head and babbling.

“I didn’t mean to. I didn’t want to. I wasn’t happy. I didn’t mean to. Let me go back to Trick. I did what you asked. Let me go back to Trick. I’ll be good. I’ll be good. I’ll be good!”

She falls to her knees beside him and cups his face in her hands, shushing him lowly, looking over him for injuries, but, while Henrik’s camera shows you rivulets of blood and bodies standing over him and the great long body of a constrictor snake creeping along the floor towards him, there is nothing in Genesis’s phone camera except Henrik himself, whole and unharmed, rocking on the floor.

“I’ll make him stop, I’ll make him stop, it’s just an illusion,” she reassures him, leaping back to her feet. “Viejo, paras! I’ll go get him, medico, stay here!”

Almost as soon as she’s rushing down the library shelves to find the Old Man, Hermann is crashing down the stairs to fall at Henrik’s side, taking his hands in his own, his eyes looking wildly around.

Anonymous asked: There's a reason we've done away with 'an-eye-for-an-eye' punishments. It's not as simple as your family hurt mine so I get to hurt yours back. We judge based on individual actions and we learn and grow and forgive if we choose to. I get that you're mourning your family's losses, but hurting Henrik won't take away your hurt. You're just putting more hurt into the world.

“They’re right, so cut it the fuck out!” screams Genesis, rounding the corner of the bookshelves, and there, at last, you see the Old Man.

His dry mouth is twisted into a terrible snarl.

The wrinkles around his eyes are soaked in tears.

He cries in silence, glaring at nothing, his eyes glowing faintly gold from the magic he’s using on Henrik.

“Viejo,” calls Genesis, her eyes softening, though her mouth is still taut with anger for her friend. “Stop. Stop. Jose wouldn’t have wanted this.”

“It does not matter,” he mumbles in Spanish, tears splashing onto the floor. “He is not here and never will be again.”

Anonymous asked: Question old man: who the hell are you HELPING by doing this? You passed-on family is gone, and the ones who are still here are trying to help this guy sure himself out and stop a demon so he can't hurt anyone else. You're directly impeding progress on that front. You're certainly not helping yourself by debasing any trust your living family has in you.

“You can kick me out after this if you please,” he tells Genesis, slumping back in his chair, his hand limp on the table before him. “It doesn’t matter now.”

She comes to stand beside him, her eyes flickering. After a moment, she puts her hand down on his shoulder.

He reaches up and traces the scars that Anti left her, his eyes clouded with both age and misery.

“Stop,” she says. “Please, I’m asking you. Jose was not the only one who loves you. I’m ashamed of you now. Stop, for my sake. For Jose’s memory.”

He scoffs and shakes his head, but at her request, the glow in his eyes fades away.

Henrik chokes and slackens across the floor as the hallucinations fade away, still shuddering. Hermann is murmuring reassurances to him, trying to get him back to his feet. It’s best to get him out of the library before anything else happens.

Genesis and the Old Man are still together in the darkness. He stares down at the wood of the table and closes his weeping eyes.

bupine asked: old man, these men have been through so much pain. i understand you have too. but wishing more pain on them does nothing. it doesn't help you feel better, i'm sure, and it won't reverse any scars or bring any person back from the dead. i am so sorry about your son. anti has done a lot of terrible things, and his brothers have too, as a result. but they're hypnotized, they have no choice. save your rage for someone who truly deserves it.

“The medico is a good man,” whispers Genesis, leaning down to touch his hand. “You would know that if you had given him a chance.”

The Old Man shakes his head slowly, slowly.

“I mean it. He’s like me, viejo. He’s like Jose was too. How many of us have come here because people hurt us and set us down paths we never meant to go down? This is supposed to be a place to have some peace. To find yourself. Why would you do that to him? He was hypnotized. He was lost.”

The Old Man just shakes his head. Eyes still closed. “No. Hypnosis only goes so far. Maybe the demon killed Christofer. But Jose was killed by one of the servants. And he should have fought. He should have fought it. I don’t care how hard it would have been. He gave himself up to the demon and Jose died for it. If that red man ever comes near this place, I’ll show him what it feels like to watch the people you love most die around you. I’ll shatter his mind til he’s in pieces and you can call it an act of mercy, then, because the demon won’t use his hands for murder after that.”

“Stop,” snarls Genesis, shaking her head. “You stop. Don’t you dare threaten any one of them. I’m ashamed of you. I’m ashamed.”

Anonymous asked: Why did you do that? Did you hope to gain something from torturing him?

“He plans to go back to the monster,” says the Old Man. “He still loves his brothers. Maybe he should have a chance to see them for what they really are. Maybe he should see himself for what he really is. Not one monster. Six.”

Genesis draws away from him, mouth pursed. She doesn’t know what to do. She’ll leave it to Emmanuela to decide what to do with him. Her hand falls away from his shoulder.

Anonymous asked: Sir, I’m sorry that you lost your child and I can’t begin to understand how that might feel, but taking it out on Henrik will not bring him back. Henrik was brainwashed and manipulated to do what he was told by the demon he was with, and he didn’t even kill him. Your child’s blood is on the demon’s hands, not his.

Genesis draws away from him. Doesn’t have the energy or time to comfort him while Henrik’s in pain and it’s his fault. She moves back towards the stairs, leaving the Old Man behind in the darkness.

“Wasn’t the demon’s hands either,” you hear the Old Man whisper, quiet as Genesis moves away from him. “I was the one who sent him to fetch the book. My son…”

If you were seated back at the table with him for a moment, you might have seen one more illusion, one more of his magic tricks - a young man sitting there beside him, healthy and strong and beautiful, smiling at him and reaching out to hold his hand. But no matter how long the image sits so lovingly beside him, the warmth of his fingers and the touch of his skin would never come down on their father’s palm again.

Anonymous asked: You underestimate the demon’s power. They did fight, and they’re still fighting, every single minute of every single day. Some days are harder than others, scarier than other, and sometimes they have to do things that aren’t too pretty to survive. They have known nothing else but survival and their abuser. I respect the place that your opinion comes from, but it is also one of misguided anger and it is beyond wrong to trigger a victim because you are hurt. It is not your place to pass judgement.

“Come on,” murmurs Genesis, carrying you up the stairs. “Let’s not waste any more time with him. If he doesn’t see that now, words won’t make him see it. He’s in a great deal of pain. Fuck, I knew he had objected to letting the medico wander free, but I never thought…”

She shakes her head, hustling up the stairs, where she finds a panicked JP waiting for the elevator.

“Genesis! What’s going on?”

“Old Man gave Henrik Nightmares. Maybe you shouldn’t bother him right now, JP.”

“He did not.”

“He did. Come on, I can hear him crying out. I need to check he’s okay.”

JP grabs his wheels and hurries after her.

“Where’s Nina?”

“Lying down. Baby’s really hurting her.”

“Damn baby,” mumbles Genesis, and despite the situation JP snorts out a laugh, running his hands through his hair. “Hermann? Where are you?”

“We’re in Emmanuela’s office,” Hermann calls back.

Henrik grabbed you at some point and you’re clutched tight in his shaking hands, listening to him wheezing and choking out terrified German. Hermann is kneeling close beside him and Emmanuela is sitting on his left, her eyes faintly gold, trying to pull him out of the last of the illusions.

“I didn’t mean to! I didn’t mean to! Red didn’t mean to, he didn’t want to hurt them, he didn’t want to hurt us, he just - he- I didn’t!”

“Hey, you’re safe,” Hermann whispers, squeezing his hands. “You’re safe, you’re safe.”

“I want Trick! Trick! Please, where is he?”

“I don’t know, amigo, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

spicydanhowell asked: if you wanna comfort henrik, try rubbing his back or his head. his twin used to do that a lot

“Can I touch you?” asks Hermann.

Henrik is already gripping at his hands, disoriented and lost and afraid. “Trick?” he sobs.

“It’s Hermann, medico. It’s okay.”

“I want my brother,” he chokes. “I want - I want Anti.”

There’s a slight shift in all the magicians around him, glances exchanged and mouths twisted. Emmanuela gets to her feet and begins ushering people out of the room. “Give him some space.” The children race off, followed by a more reluctant JP and Genesis. Emmanuela sits down at her desk to give him room, and Hermann shifts closer to Henrik. He reaches up to touch the back of his head and, when Henrik only falters into it, he strokes gently at his hair, still clutching his free hand.

“I’m sorry he did that to you,” says Hermann. “I meant to protect you. I’m sorry.”

“No, he was right,” sobs Henrik, clutching at his face. “I’m a murderer and a sadist, I always have been, I love the sight of blood, just a freak… my brothers have all killed people, except maybe Blue, and we do it all just because Anti tells us to, and do you know what the worst part is?”

“Medico, Henrik, sh, sh…”

“I still love him,” cries Henrik, feeling something snapping inside his chest. “I still love him! He is my brother! I know he is a monster and I still want him! The Old Man was right. I’m just a monster too, wanting to be with him, wanting to be his.”

He crumples across Hermann’s shoulders, tumbling against his chest, and Hermann just reaches out to hold him, stroking slowly at his hair.

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Hen.... it's okay. Yes you might have done wrong in the past, but that does NOT make you a monster. You will wee Trick soon, okay?

“I need to go back to him,” Henrik is sobbing, gripping at Hermann’s shoulders. “No, I mean it! I’ve been thinking it this whole time, I - I can’t - I’m not ready to leave Anti, or at least not leave Trick and my brothers with him.”

“Medico,” says Emmanuela.

“No, I mean it,” he repeats. “I meant to tell you - you, mostly - ” He casts you a red-eyed glance, hiccuping. “I plan to go back to Anti. I do. I’m not - I’d like to stay. I would. But I can’t leave Trick and Blue behind, or the others. I have to be there to look after them. That’s my job. I’m planning to go back to Anti. I am. You shouldn’t try to stop me.”

Emmanuela sits back in her chair, sighing. Hermann gives her a desperate glance, but she’s turned away from him.

“You can’t do that,” whispers Hermann, gripping Henrik’s head tighter. “You have to stay safe.”

“I know there’s nothing selfish about staying away from someone who’s treated you poorly. But I still… I still need to be with Anti. I feel his presence clawing at me. He’s so deep inside my head. And what’s more, I want to be with him. I can’t just give up on him, or on the others. They must be suffering so much. I have to look after Blue and protect Trick as he comes down from what Anti’s putting him through. Besides, I’ll only bring Anti here if I continue to hide. It was never feasible, me staying here. I need to go back to Anti. I want to go back to Anti. I want to go back to Trick.”

“This is horrible,” says Hermann, shaking his head. “No.”

“He’ll make his own choice,” says Emmanuela softly.

It would not be the first time she’s let people go, no matter how unwise it seemed.

“He’s an adult and a free man. He’ll make his own choice. But first he must let me make sure he sees as clearly as he can.”

She turns and levels her gaze at Henrik. He swallows shakily and stares back.

Anonymous asked: Henrik, no, it's okay. You're okay. He had such a powerful hold, it's completely understandable to still be affected by it. He changed you, and you're doing a wonderful job recovering. And remember, Henrik, he messed with your head, and if the core that's you got shaken up by it, that's okay, he meant it to do that. You're okay, buddy.

“How much of who I am is him messing with my head?” whispers Henrik, burying his face in his hands. “How much of who I am is really me and how much is him? How much of him is really a monster and how much was real in the times when he made me think he loved me? How much of any of us is real? Are we just puppets? Was the person I was anything like this at all?”

Hermann looks helplessly over at Emmanuela, who, at this point, is mostly looking sad for him. Henrik hides from her pity and pretends the warmth against him is Trick’s.

“Can I see?” she asks.

“Inside my head?”

“Yes.”

“Could you if I said no?”

“Yes, but I wouldn’t.”

Henrik stares down at the floor, exhausted, his heart still pounding so hard it hurts. He chokes on a sob and tears come drizzling down his face. What a mess he is. What a mess he’s always been, long as he can remember.

“Can you help me get my memories back?” he asks in a croak.

“Maybe,” she says. “It depends on the way the monster took them.”

He looks up at her, startled.

“What, really?”

“No clue til I try.”

Hermann is rubbing soothingly at his knee. Henrik glances over at him, meeting the calm trust in his eyes. Henrik looks up at you, nervous.

“Okay,” he says softly, clutching you to his chest. “But if you try anything, they’ll tell me!”

Emmanuela chuckles, soft and low.

Hermann leaves them alone in the room. Henrik feels awkward staring up at her, and a little afraid.

“What is this going to answer for me?” he asks in a croak.

“Well,” says Emmanuela. “How much of his control was ever voluntary for you. How he got in your head, which might, in turn let us know how to get him out. How real some of the things you’ve believed are. What happened to your memories - locked away in your brain or just destroyed.”

Henrik laughs and tugs on his hair, shaking his head slowly. “Well, fuck,” he says. “That might be too many answers.”

“Just take it easy,” she says. “Close your eyes.”

“I feel very stupid,” he admits.

She laughs without mocking him. He closes his eyes.

Here are some things that are true.

Henrik von Schneeplestein did not for a moment choose Anti. He did not agree. He was not convinced. Even more so than Blue, he was shoved down this rabbit hole; he was broken in half and then rebuilt. The remnant of that time makes old scars tingle along his body, burns and cuts and bones ever-so-slightly out of place. Anti told him he didn’t know how he got them. Probably from the old master, he said. Probably from that old and painful life. Briefly, Henrik feels the ghost of a memory, staring across at Trick before he was Trick, the two of them whispering encouragement as the days went by, until at last Henrik shattered, and Trick fell down with him.

Here are some things that are true.

Anti falsified all of it in the beginning. The feeling of fondness towards him. The feeling of safety. The lie of the danger outside. There was no one coming for them, except old friends who missed them, or at least what few of their old friends who remained alive. Henrik had people he loved and he forgot them. Henrik loved Jameson and Jackie and Marvin and he forgot that too. Things changed as time went on. Dok loved Anti. Dok loves Anti.

Anti has, at moments - at small, fleeting moments, loved him too. Earnestly and truly. There is a bullet scar in Dok’s side that will never go away, but the only reason he survived it at all was because of the great black dog that guarded him from their enemies. The great black dog that took bullet after bullet for him, and saw a dozen possible futures at Dapper’s hands, and chose the one where Doktor did not die. There were moments where he would look over at him and think, at least, ‘he is something worth loving.’

Selfish love, sometimes, but at moments, present.

For the most part, however, Anti has not loved him, not slightly, not well, not enough, and that was a choice he made. Killing Henrik was an act of revenge, and from there, Dok has been tortured again and again by the hatred of the monster he came to call his brother, and it isn’t fair, and it wasn’t loving, and the brotherhood between them is, if real, a terrible, terrible curse to him, and he doesn’t deserve it.

Here are some things that are true.

Anti is jealous and Henrik’s memories are gone, permanently. Not locked away. Not hidden. Destroyed. Powerful magic. Powerful theft. Henrik will never remember that old life. Only glimpses of it, ghosts of it. Emmanuela searches and Henrik sees distant things - a house in the middle of the forest. The disappearance of a little brother. The flight from home. His brothers around him. Chase. But these are empty gaps where memories once were, not things recalled.

Here is one thing that is true.

“He’s entangled himself completely in your family,” says Emmanuela. “In your mind.”

Dok loves Anti. Henrik loves Anti. He does, he does. Despite everything. Despite the false foundation.

“He made it seem real,” she says. “Because the family between the rest of you was real. As time went on, you lost the ability to distinguish between the intruder and the reality. And he just became another brother. Flawed, maybe, but so were all of you. A bad temper, you said. You couldn’t see that he wasn’t real. Because if he wasn’t, than what does that make the rest of it? False as well? You knew it like this: ‘I love Trick and Trick loves me, truly and fully. Anti gave Trick to me. Anti must love us too, truly and fully, or wouldn’t that mean Trick didn’t love me too?’“

Henrik tries to breathe, burying his face in his hands. He did not feel her in his head, but he felt the remnants of so many things he’s forgotten or tried to forget. Grief and anger and hurt and pain and happy things, too, but less of them, not as many as there should have been.

“He is a talented manipulator,” she says. “More powerful and skilled than anyone I’ve ever come into contact with. I don’t know - Henrik, I’m sorry - I don’t know how you’ll convince yourself fully that he really is as bad as all that. No matter what I show you, no matter how much time you have, he will still be buried in there by virtue of his power. This web - I don’t know how to break it. You love your brothers and your brothers love you. Anti is caught up in the middle of that, hiding in the subconscious, unable to be ratted out without ratting the real love out too. It’s not fair. I’m sorry.”

“Maybe you’re just wrong about him,” Henrik sobs. “You have to be, if he seems so real!”

“Henrik… this is what I mean. No matter how much you cling to him, you know, logically, what’s real. You saw him hurt your magician that night. He could have killed him. You’ve seen him lock your little brother away in his room for months on end. You’ve seen him twist the others into things they never wanted to be. You’ve been hurt by him yourself, medico. You know. You know.”

“But I still love him,” says Henrik.

“Yes,” says Emmanuela, very soft. “That’s a normal part of abuse, but… I don’t think that this will go away normally.”

“Okay, okay, okay,” says Henrik.

He tries to breathe. He’s got this. He’s fine. He’s a motherfucking certified genius, he can figure this shit out.

“Here are my options,” he says. “One - I run away and I stay gone and not only does Anti hunt me for the rest of my life, but I’ll always feel attached to him as long as I’m attached to the others, who, as far as I will know, will continue to be tortured by Anti.”

Emmanuela just watches him. She will let him make his own choices.

“Or, two - I find a way to disentangle Anti from my family. Not just my image of my family, but the whole of my family. Realizing, logically, that he is a horrible son of a bitch has so far proved useless. I still know that I love the others, and they love Anti, or at least some of them do, and as long as that’s true, he’ll always be buried in there somewhere. I can’t escape him alone. None of us can. So to get away from him, I’d have to - ”

He stops short, staring at the wall.

Looking up at last.

“We’re… all going to have to turn on him together,” he says. “Aren’t we?”

Emmanuela looks at him. She has endless eyes. Her dark hair gleams.

“Yes,” she says. “I think so.”

He sits back on his chair. Staring at that wall. Stained glass windows at the side of it. Letting in the light, but letting it in blood red.

“Impossible,” he says. “Impossible.”

“No,” she says, reaching out to touch his hand. “It isn’t. It’s just a fight, Henrik. And you’re going to have to fight it. With them. Not alone anymore. With your brothers. Stop watching each other get hurt and stand together. Find your family again. The real one. You don’t have to surrender.”

Blood red streaks across him. Light and color and the blank face of the wall. The closed door waiting to be opened.

“I need to see Anti again,” he says, very soft.

“To fight?” she asks. “Or to give up?”

He doesn’t answer.

She leans back in her desk, her eyes faintly gold.

“I’ll make preparations for if you choose to leave,” she says. “I’ll give you weapons. Protection. Anything I can. It’s your choice, Henrik.”

He walks back to his room alone, and sits on the bed, and stares at the wall.

Here is a truth, a great truth, greater than anything else that he knows, great enough, he thinks, perhaps, to fight for:

He wants to be free, and bring his family with him.

But it will not be easy.

------------------

aether-mae asked: Hen, when Anti comes, I want you to keep this time in mind. Keep in mind how you are safe and happy with the magicians, and remind yourself you are bringing this contentment to trick. Bring trick away from Anti so he can enjoy this with you.

You can find him in the sunlight.

They’re playing a partnered card game that involves slapping your hand down on the cards faster than everyone else, coming up with secret signals to communicate, and a lot of wild giggling, especially from JP and Nina, losing it on his right side. He’s sitting down against the wall with one arm around her shoulders and one arm around her rounded belly and their black hair is glowing in the light. Henrik tugs you closer to him at the beeping, but he’s distracted by the chattering of Genesis and Hermann and Basilio, who is eagerly perched in Henrik’s lap, trying to slap the cards every single time a new one falls.

“You have to wait for a sandwich of cards,” laughs Henrik, dragging his little hand back again. “Like, maybe an eight and then something else and then another eight. A sandwich.”

“Que?”

“You have to - haha, you’ll learn, you’ll figure it out.”

Basilio slaps the cards again and Henrik breaks down into laughter.

Loud laughter. Loud, deep from the bottom of his chest. His head falls back and his eyes squint up and his shoulders shake with it.

And he catches your message out of the corner of his eye, and pauses to read it, and fuck, fuck.

He has to fight, doesn’t he?

He has to fight for Trick to have this.

If he’s going back -

The sun is golden on him. His skin fits him right. There is a child laughing on his lap and friends around him.

If he’s going back, he’s going back to fight.

He has to bring this joy back to his brothers.

He strokes Basilio’s dark hair and -

“Sandwich!”

- slaps the cards.

“Henrik,” groans a chorus of accented voices at him as he collects the cards he’s won, and he’s laughing again, and he’s warm, and Hermann’s hand comes down on his own just for a moment as if to say, ‘yes, brother, here we are.’

Anonymous asked: I don't think you need to figure out exactly who you were under his control, because I think the lines were blurred enough that we might never quite know. People do things they wouldn't usually to survive, and to protect themselves, and I do not think you can be faulted for things he made you do. And as you begin to come back, we can begin to figure out who you are now.

They devolve into sitting around and kicking a football around eventually, Henrik sitting on the sidelines and drinking beer with JP as Genesis and Hermann play monkey in the middle with Basilio.

“It’s kind of frightening,” he tells you, though he says it calmly. “Knowing that I have to find myself again. Knowing that I will never be that same person I was. But I think I want it. I think that’s something I want to stand up for. For my chance to be Henrik, and not just here, sheltered away from him. For my chance to be Henrik again in all things.”

“That’s the good part about it,” says Nina, turning to smile at him. “You go through so much you don’t know how to get back that person that you used to be, but then… then you get to choose the person you become. And that person becomes someone who is a survivor despite everything. A fighter despite everything. You choose strength and it shapes you.”

She smiles softly at the brick beneath her feet, turning her head to gaze at her husband, stroking her hand along her belly.

“Every day,” she says, touching Henrik’s shoulder. “We’re choosing. It’s okay to make new choices. Okay to be a different person. Every day a new person. I think that’s what’s really beautiful about being a person at all.”

aether-mae asked: Henrik! My lovely fellow. Red and Dap are on their way to you, without Anti and with no intention to return to Anti (as of yet). Is there any way you know of that could bring you to them faster or would you like to wait for them?

“What’s this? Red?”

“Hermann!”

Emmanuela’s coming up the stairs, beckoning for him. He hurries over to her and they exchange a few soft words. She presses something into his hands and leaves again.

Hermann stares down at it for a second. Holds it in his hands.

“Henrik,” he calls, trying to steady his voice, turning back towards him with a smile, holding a phone. “It’s for you.”

“It’s what?” Henrik gets onto his feet. Hermann just holds the phone out to him.

Henrik puts it to his ear.

Soft breathing, shy and nervous. Soft mumbling in the background. Soft shuffling and a deep breath.

“Dok?”

Henrik’s heart is a bird uncaged.

“Red! Oh, oh, I - I - is it you, is it? Bruder, is est du? How, how, Red, Red, I - ”

Red is stammering and babbling and stumbling just as much as he is on the other end of the line, his voice hoarse and shaking.

“We used the cameras, Max sent his phone number to them - I didn’t think it would work, thought it was a trick, fuck, Dok, is it you?”

“It’s me, it’s me! Red! I didn’t know if you were alright, I didn’t know if you were in prison… tell me something only you would know!”

“I - I, um. For Christmas this year, Trick got you coffee.”

Henrik bursts into laughter without knowing why, gripping his hair. “Red, Red!”

“Dap’s here too - he says your favorite book is the Bridge of San Luis Rey by Thornton Wilder and he loves you and he says you better believe it’s him, he loves you, he loves you - ”

“Oh, my little brother, is he well? Put him on the phone, I need to - no, wait - ”

It’s Red’s turn to laugh, and then they’re just having a breakdown together two countries away, listening to each other’s voices, chattering everything that comes to mind, and Henrik can hear Dapper clicking and striking his hands together at Red’s side.

“Dok, we want to come get you.”

“You want to come get me?”

“Yes. Yeah. We’ve got a car. We’re headed your way. Dok, I have to see you again. I can’t take all of us being separated anymore. I don’t know how we would have survived without the help we found.”

“Well, that I understand,” chokes out Henrik, gripping that phone like it’s keeping his head above water. “Red, yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yes,” he says. “Yes. Come get me. I need to see you. My brothers. I love you.”

He didn’t mean to make Red’s voice shake even harder. He thinks he hears tears in his eyes. His strong older brother crying just for him.

“Where can I find you, Deutsch?”

“The market,” Henrik answers immediately. “Where we bought coffee and polar bear shirts and dog tags and rings. Red. Bruder, hermano, my friend. Come get me.”

--------------

Anonymous asked: Hold on just a while longer Blue- No, not blue, Marvin. Hold on just a little while longer. The missing brothers are free. I don't think anything anti does could convince them to come back to him at this point. Anti has enemies that will take him down in this weak state. Almost there you strong, wonderful magician. Protect Chase, protect yourself, I can't make promises but I feel the end to your pain is on the horizon. Do not go gentle. Rage against the dying of the light.

Do not go gentle. Rage against the dying of the light.

He sleeps every night now with his arms wrapped tight around Trickshot. They tangle up in blankets and brothers’ shirts and the tube for his oxygen.

The end of your pain is on the horizon.

He curls his body around Trick’s. As if he can protect him. At the least, he has to try. His fingers stroke the hair at the nape of his neck. Trick squirms closer to him in his sleep, mumbling and throwing his arms around him, entangling their legs. Noodle readjusts to sit nearly on his face.

They would not begrudge you the quick look in on them as they slept. You are, after all, a beacon of safety - for Trick, a sign that Anti watches over him; for Blue, a steady ally against everything that hurts him. A friend.

It is late, though. How long will you watch him? How many of you are looking on? Everything is still. Have you often peered at the silence of them? At the little moments, where nothing exists but the hand of their brother clasped in their own? Loyal watcher. You see things they do not always see. It is late, though. Will you go to sleep? Who taught you to watch so vigilantly? You remember the things the rest of the world has forgotten - glitches and Silent Nights and white string and comas. You remember things that never happened, because Jameson undid them.

The watchful few. The handful of you. It is late, though. Will you sleep?

Movement in their window.

A shadow, at first. Pausing. Casting a low shade of darkness over what little light comes in through their window.

The shadow shifts.

Closer.

And then there is a silhouette in their window. The silhouette of a person.

They do not know you’re there. They do not know you see.

They come close to the window. Cast that black and impenetrable shadow down over Trick and Blue, asleep on their mattress. The perfect outline of a person looking down at them. For a moment, they only stare down at them. Unmoving. Cold.

They move away again. You think they wear a cape. No. You think they have the wings of a bird. In the moonlight, a flicker of gold.

Trick and Blue sleep. Tangled up in blankets and brothers’ shirts and the tube for his oxygen.

Loyal watcher. It is late, though.

How long will you watch?

How long will the shadow?

End Section Nine of Chapter Three: The Separated Twins

#chapter three #writers of jack

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coprinaquest · 7 years ago

Text

>Tell Mince He's a Good Boy, then Head Upstairs

Ghoulash: "Don't worry, Mince; you're still everybody's favorite dog!"

Mince: "YARF YARF"

Mince licks your face, then starts gnawing on one of your horns.

Ghoulash: "Awww! Thanks, Mince! You wanna come with me? You can take a nap on my couch~"

Mince charges upstairs at maximum speed, YARFing every few steps! You quickly follow him up to your room...

Ah, your room! The coziest, coolest place in the shop! It used to be the rec room, and it still is used like one when you're not asleep!

There's all kinds of neat stuff here! There's a foosball table, a pool table, a GROGGER arcade cabinet, a card table, a TV and game console, a dartboard, and even a checkerboard! Lime's been trying to teach you how to play Chess, but there's too many rules to remember! Last time you played her, you cornered her "king", she yelled "Checkmate", and said you lost...

There's also a whole bunch of furniture and stuff you added when this became your room! There's your couch, a handful of chairs, your punching bag, your bed, your locker, and a lava lamp you bought from Purse N Curse! The room's painted blue, and some posters are stuck to the walls!

Everyone's here, waiting for you!

Your little sis, Syrup stands on a crate, looking pretty impatient, as always! She swishes her sword through the air; it'd be pretty impressive if she weren't so tiny and cute! Syrup's a mouse, and she's only a foot tall! Unlike your sister Lime, she's more "bottom heavy", and pretty small in the chest! She's a little jealous of you and your sisters in that department... She's made of maple syrup, and she says she's the leader of the Coprina Gang (that's what you guys are called, isn't it the coolest? You suggested the name and it won 3-1!) Since she's the youngest and smallest, you've never told her she's not actually in charge... Besides, she is a pretty good strategist! Syrup's got a flair for military stuff, and it shows in her attitude!

Your big sis Floss is sitting in a chair, patiently smiling, as always! She occasionally pulls her schedule book out of her "inventory", then puts it back after checking something. She's so obsessed with scheduling stuff!

Your oldest sis, Lime, is sitting on your bed, reading some kinda sciency book. Kinda looks like she's actually reading something else, and is just using that book to hide it...

Your dog, Mince, is sleeping on the couch!

Your cat, Fishstick, is hiding in the corner of the room, watching everyone closely!

Finally, your friend Coin is playing GROGGER, occasionally banging her fist on the cabinet and letting some of her weird trash talk fly...

Coin: "C'mon, c'mon, C'MON! GAH! You friggin stupid pirate! You'd think ya had cement shoes the way ya sink so fast..."

Syrup notices you and makes a show of turning her sword into a pocket watch. Man, her shapeshifting is so cool! She can even make herself HUUUGE if she absorbs a lotta water, or even make a whole bunch of clones of herself!

Syrup: "Well well well! Look who's finally here! I was starting to think you went AWOL, Ghoul!"

Ghoulash: "AWOL? Me? Never, Syrup!"

Syrup: "Excuse me?"

Ghoulash: "Oh, oh! COMMANDER Syrup, sorry! Forgot it was training time!"

Commander Syrup: "That's more like it! Now then: I'm sure you ladies know why you're here, right?"

Coin: "Yeah, I'm here to beat the Chef's high score! AW COME ON! You were RIGHT. THERE. You stupid pirate mug! Why you gotta sleep with da fishes when I'm so close to crackin the Chef's score?"

Commander Syrup: "Ahem. Floss, would you care to tell me why we're here?"

Floss: "Of course, Commander...

We're here for combat training!"

Commander Syrup: "Exactly! Good job, Floss!

Lime, what's special about this training session?"

Lime: "...hm? Oh, err, you're using a volunteer today, ja?"

Commander Syrup: "Correct, Doktor! Now then, since introductions are done, let's get down to business!

...who's gonna volunteer to be the training dummy?"

Oh brother. Not this again...

Every time Syrup wants to use a volunteer, you guys argue back and forth about who it's gonna be. You're definitely not raising YOUR hand! Last time you volunteered, Syrup accidentally cut your wrappings with her sword! You had to fight topless for the rest of training...

Commander Syrup: "...well? Don't everyone raise their hands all at once!

...seriously? None of you are gonna volunteer? Come on, guys...

Fine, fine! We'll just sit here and wait until someone decides to volunteer!

Lieutenant, execute a Code Orange Lockdown procedure, on the double!"

Syrup suddenly splits a clone off of herself! The clone runs past you, shuts the door, and locks it from outside!

Looks like nobody's leaving until the lieutenant unlocks the door...

Commander Syrup: "I hope I've made myself clear, ladies: we're not leaving Ghoul's room until we get this training done! And we're not starting this session without a volunteer!"

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my-brothers-corrupted · 5 years ago

Text

Trick wakes up to sunlight on his face and no one wrapped around his body for the first time in weeks.

He sighs warmly and stretches, rubbing at his eyes. Turning his head, he finds Doktor right there at his side, fast asleep, his glasses askew on his face. Trick laughs and removes them as gently as he can, getting to his feet with a stretch.

The roosters are singing their wake-up song and he pushes through the door of Dok’s room and into the hallway.

“Trick?” calls a voice from Red and Blue’s room.

“Yeah?”

“Did you hear the doorbell or something?”

“Oh, maybe that’s what woke me up.”

“Will you go check it? Probably one of the vecinos. They might need Dok for something. I can’t get up, Red’s halfway on top of me.”

“Haha. Okay, dude, sure.”

He steps into the clinic, walks up to the door, and opens it with a smile.

Which fades away a moment later.

Trick backs slightly away, alarmed.

“Blue? Someone put... a present here?”

“What?”

“Should I open it?”

“Trick, don’t touch it, it could be dangerous! What if the attackers from last night tracked us here after all?”

His brother is joining him a second later, and they must have woken up Dok too, because he is soon looking over Blue’s shoulder, staring at the present.

“Wow,” he says. “From one of the vecinos?”

“I don’t know,” murmurs Blue, anxious. “I don’t think anybody we’ve treated wraps presents, really. They’d just leave us a basket of eggs or something. I need to talk to Red.”

“Is he doing better this morning?”

“Well... not really, actually. I think he’s pretty shaken up.”

“Maybe we should ask Anti.”

“I haven’t checked that he’s even conscious yet.”

They dissolve into uncertain argument, gathered around the door, and they’re distracted enough that they don’t notice when a little figure, awakened by all the excitement, leaps out of the broken window in the back room, walks around the front, and sits himself down beside the present, clapping his hands together eagerly. A present! For Christmas! How exciting!

“Whoa, Dap, hold on, hold on!” warns Blue, but Dap isn’t listening. What, like it’s going to hurt him? He’ll just reverse it if it’s dangerous.

Dapper clicks his tongue cheerfully and tears the paper off even as Blue reaches out with a shout to grab him by the collar.

(( @my-brothers-corrupted ))

#happy holiday #puppetfluff mini crossover

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dubredofanfics · 8 years ago

Text

Hit n Run [BONGLENI]

Epilogue: Skyfall

Bongbong was walking around the garden at the backyard while Leni was preparing some quick meals for them.

"Mahal!" She called him and pointed at the table inviting him to eat. "Sige. I'll be there in a few." He replied.

She fixed the table and served the meals with the help of the house keepers. Leni looked out and went outside to check on Bongbong. He was just standing outside doing nothing.

"Hal" She uttered. "Mmm." He replied. "Nakahain na yung mga pagkain, hindi ka ba gutom?" She asked. "Sige lang, busog pa ako." He replied and pulled off a smile. Leni noticed the irony in his eyes.

"May problema ba?" She asked. He looked at her and stroked her hair back to the rear of her ear.

It took him a while before he was able to speak and confess what he has been keeping from her for quite some time now.

"It's back." He uttered vaguely. Her smile remained and curled her forehead in confusion. "Ang alin?" She asked cluelessly.

"The cancer. It's back." He clarified fading out the smile from her lips. Her jaws dropped slightly in shock, she ran out of words to say.

"Paano? Hindi ko maintindihan." She asked but he just smiled softly at her secretly wishing he was just kidding and nothin's real. "Akala ko wala na? Di ba sabi ng doktor dati magaling ka na? Panong nangyaring bumalik? Bong naman." She swarmed out questions.

"Akala ko rin e. Kaya lang bumalik siya e." He tried to laugh about it but it just crushed her down. Tears began to stream down her cheeks. "Mahal..." She cried.

He smiled and held her close to him. "Sssh... Leni. It's okay." He tried to stop her. "Pwede naman natin ipagamot yan 'di ba? You can go chemotherapy? Nanotechnology? You can fight that tumor. You can be cured. Nalagpasan mo na 'to dati! I'm sure you can get through this again-" She insisted.

He slowly stroked her head. "Leni... Leni... It's okay. Stage 4 na. There's... no more cure." He uttered calmly.

Stage four?!?

She felt like she was hanmered straight into her face, she cried harder upon hearing him. "Mahal... Please. Tell me you'll fight this. You told me you never wanna hurt me kaya ipangako mo sakin na lalabanan mo 'to." She demanded.

He chuckled and kissed the top of her head. "Okay. Sige. I promise lalabanan ko ito... But I can't promise that I'll get through this. I don't know what God's plan is... And I don't wanna make a promise that I am uncertain about." He retorted. She weeped and buried her face on his chest.

"Ang bilis ng buhay noh?" He brought up. "Mahal naman... Kailangan pa kita. Kailangan ka pa ng anak natin." She begged. He rubbed her back to bring comfort.

"Alam ko naman yon, mahal. Kaya lang hindi ko naman mababago kung ano yung nakatadhanang mangyari saakin." He replied. "But don't worry. I'll still live long enough to teach you everything so that you can remain stable even if I'm gone." He assured.

"Mahal naman... Wag mong sabihin yan. You're not going anywhere. Magiging okay ka. Miracles happen." She sobbed. He was sure that curing him is already hopeless. He already accepted it since he knew that his cancer returned.

He held Leni closer and smiled. "Sana nga tamaan ako ng milagro so I can stay longer with you and Holden." He wished. "Leni." He uttered and cupped her face wiping out her tears with his thumb.

"God knows how much I want to live so that I can watch Holden grow... para makita kitang nasa tabi ko sa tuwing gigising ako ng umaga kaso... I don't wanna expect and get disappointed in the end. I'm dying and there's nothing we can do about it anymore." He explained.

"No, mahal. No... Matatag ka, mahal. Alam natin yan pareho. Malalagpasan natin 'to." She weeped.

He chuckled and kissed her hand. "Okay. I promise I'll fight this battle. I'll fight for you. For you and Holden." He smiled at her trying to cheer her up.

"Sige na, mahal. 'Wag ka nang umiyak. Gusto ko makita kang masaya lang. Pwede bang gawin mo yon para sa mga huling araw ko?" He requested and smiled at her.

"Paano ako magiging masaya kung alam kong kahit anong oras pwede kang mawala saakin?" She broke down and hugged him tight. "Leni... Physically lang naman ako mawawala e. Lagi ko kayong babantayan kahit anong mangyari." He held her chin and looked at her in the eye.

"Smile for me." He pleaded even if she was unable to grant his request.

—

Bongbong continued to undergo treatments for the next months hoping he would still get cured until the doctors advised him to stop as his condition was no longer curable. Leni wanted to continue but he was the one who decided to stop undergoing the treatments already and just spend his last days at home with his beloved wife, Leni; and his young boy, Holden.

Leni started to slowly accept the fate of her husband. She stopped thinking about the bad side that anytime, she could lose him; she decided to think about making his last days his best and perfect last ones.

She spent her whole time with him and taking care of their child in front of him as his only happiness now is her and their baby.

—

It was late at night, Leni put Holden into sleep before she went back to the bed where Bongbong was lying down while watching them.

She rested her head in between his shoulder and chest as she hugged him tight feeling the warmth of his body. He wrapped his arm around her while his other hand filled the gaps of her fingers.

"I like this." He uttered as he rested his head at the top of her head. "Ako rin." She replied with her eyes closed. It felt very sentimental.

"Alam mo, sa puntong 'to. Pwede na ako mawala." He began. "Mmm!" She tried to stop him. He chuckled. "Pero seryoso nga. Natupad na yung mga goals ko sa buhay e, mayaman na ako, tapos ang gwapo ko." They chuckled. "Joke lang, I mean... I have you, I have Holden... Pinakasalan ako ng woman of my dreams. I'm married with you. There's actually nothing else I could still wish for." He continued. Tears slowly dropped down her cheeks.

"Mahal naman e, pinapaiyak mo nanaman ako." She hugged him tight. "Hinding hindi ako nagsisisi na nakilala kita, Leni... na minahal kita." He added and kissed the top of her head. She remained silent as she didn't want him to feel her sadness.

He took a deep breath and held her close. "Basta ipangako mo na kapag nawala ako, magiging matatag ka. Alagaan mo ang baby boy natin, palakihin mong kasing buti mo." He requested.

"Pangako, mahal." She replied concisely avoiding to make her crying obvious through her voice. He stroked her arm with his palms and closed his eyes with a solemn smile on his lips.

"Good night, mahal. Always remember that I love you and Holden. I always will." He stated before they went to sleep.

---

Those were his last words to me. That was the last night we slept together on the same bed. That morning was the last time I saw him wake up next to me. And that night was the last time I held him before he finally found his peace. I miss him.

I still do.

Leni told Holden the story of her and Bongbong. He looked at her so fascinated with their story.

"Love na love niyo siguro si papa." He uttered. "Oo 'nak. Sobra." She smiled. "And he loved you so much too." He added, she nodded. "And he loved you so much too. You have no idea how happy he was nung pinanganak kita." She retorted.

"I wish I was able to spend more time with him." Holden hoped.

"Kung buhay pa ang papa mo, I'm sure he would be so proud of you because you are just as smart, sweet, nice and handsome like him." She cuddled him.

"Sana nga po, mama e. Tapos susundan ko yung mga achievements ni papa." He stated, Leni gladly listened to him.

"I remember last time. I dreamt about him and while we were playing basketball at the backyard he told me that I should follow his footsteps and marry a woman as wonderful as you." He shared.

Leni felt so happy to hear all those things from him.

If only Bongbong was alive...

Everything felt like a dream as she looked at Holden, the product of her and Bongbong's unconditional love for each other. He has grown up already. She used to just carry him on her arms when he was still a baby and feed him milk every night and now, he has a mind of his own. He could already think for himself and she was grateful that she was able to raise him as a wonderful person.

She wished that Bongbong was able to him grow.

"Hug mo nga ang mama." She asked. He gladly hugged her tight and made her sink into peaceful happiness.

—

Time passed by, Holden grew older and Leni didn't get any younger. Creases and folds started to form across her skin giving her the signs of aging.

It has been about forty years since Bongbong left. Holden is now a fully adult. He already got married to Kelly, the love of his life that Leni loved as well. She couldn't help but recall herself and Bongbong in them. She knew how much they loved each other and it was so beautiful.

Holden moved out and lived on the new house that they bought after their wedding. Leni stayed at Bongbong's house alone with the house keepers to look over her when Holden isn't around.

She grew older, her bones started to feel brittle; her joints weakened and all she could ever do now is to sit down and sniff the fresh air from the garden at their backyard every sunrise and sunset as she recalls the happy moments of her life.

She sat alone at the porch of their house and looked around appreciating the beauty of every single thing her eyes saw. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she thought about Bongbong.

Mahal, alam ko naririnig mo ako diyan. Konting panahon nalang magkikita na tayo ulit. I am gonna come to you and tell you that nothing has changed.

Mahal na mahal parin kita and I always will. Forever... and always.

-THE END-

#bongbong marcos #leni robredo #bongleni #hit n run #hnr #fan fic #series #rating g

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my-brothers-corrupted · 5 years ago

Text

My Brothers, Corrupted

Chapter 2 : Section 4 : Lights in the Darkness

To regain his control, Anti forced Dapper back into a more compliant headspace and exerted a great deal of mental energy to put him and Trick back in their places. Things are tense and painful day-to-day, but fortunately, they have something coming up for all of them to look forward to.

Trigger warnings for abuse, mentions of overdose and suicide, and violence.

Find Chapter One here.

Find Chapter Two here.

Section Four of Chapter Two: Lights in the Darkness

Anonymous asked: DAPPER HOLY SHIT I MEAN GOOD FOR YOU KICK HIS ASS BUT ALSO MAYBE DON'T DO THAT CAUSE YOU MIGHT DIE OR GET PUNISHED AND THAT'S NOT GONNA HELP YOUR CASE AND AS MUCH AS I WANNA ENCOURAGE YOU I ABSOLUTELY IMPLORE YOU TO PLEASE CALM THE FUCK DOWN

Dapper is shaking when your view returns.

He wears a black vest buttoned up tight over a clean white shirt. There is a tie around his throat, and a black dog’s collar beneath the tie. His hands are still tied, but looser now, letting his hands slump, letting the blood return to his fingertips.

He’s looking at you, but not looking at you.

Die or get punished? Die or get punished? No, no, no, he doesn’t want that, of course he doesn’t want that… He wouldn’t want to do anything to upset his master… No, he’s a better puppy than that, surely.

Anonymous asked: yo please leave dapper alone? you did kind of deserve that slap tbh, and besides it wasn't really his fault. just don't hurt him or ruin his shit or whatever goddamnit

“L-look,” comes a raspy, shaking voice.

A hand appears on your screen and runs its fingers through Dapper’s hair, tugging at the soft, downy curls.

Dapper smiles sweetly, letting his eyes slip shut as he’s petted.

“Hurt him? Ruin him? No… no… he’s better now, you see… I just have to… I just…”

Soft coughing interrupts Anti and he staggers away.

the-weirdest-fan asked: *applause* Very immersive! Though the message is a bit predictable, sometimes that's a good thing! Good preformance!

“Predictable,” mumbles Anti weakly. “No, I don’t want… hate… fucking circles.”

You watch him stumble against his bed, his face completely bloodless, his eyes glazed over and drifting.

“Anti?” whimpers Trick, poking his head up on the other side of the bed, that yellow collar fastened tight around his throat. “Master? You okay?”

cest-mellow asked: anti what happened to you...?

“Get… get… nothing, nothing, turn - turn the camera off again.”

He waves his hand, grimacing, as if to switch you off, but there’s no effect. Wringing his hands like a nervous little kid, Trick gets up to go to his side. He sets a steadying hand on Anti’s shoulder and his brother leans into it, listing as his eyes droop and his form flickers.

“Anti, you’re scaring me,” whimpers Trick.

“I’m fine, puppy,” Anti manages frailly. “Just tired from the - from the - T-trick - ”

He faints into Trickshot’s chest.

Anonymous asked: Geez anti just leave the poor guy alone

Whatever his plans, they’re over now. Dapper won’t be hurt again today.

Anti is well and truly unconscious. Trick and Dapper, attentive and over-affectionate, ignore you completely as they do their best to take care of him, hauling his semi-corporeal body into the bed and getting a wet washcloth from the bathroom to drape over his eyes. Trick, nearly crying, crawls into bed beside Anti and wraps his arms around him, curling his fingers through his hair and whispering assurances and devotions.

Dapper sits at the end of the bed and guards, eyes wide, staring at the fairy lights draped over the door, so deep in his own head he can hardly think of anything but Anti.

But there is at least one moment where Trick whispers “Dap, are you okay?” and Dap nods, and turns gently to him, and gives him the same question. Trick shakes his head, but promises that he’ll be fine as soon as Anti wakes up. That would make everything better.

They have each other, at least.

Doktor is alone in his room, sobbing his way through the aftermath of the horribly strong power he can still feel eating away at his free will, mumbling in German and dissociating so hard he can’t make his fingers move. Eventually, he will collapse into unconscious on his mattress, and spend the rest of the day asleep.

Red and Blue come back hours later, perfectly content, home from a day in the city.

They find the lunch of fried potatoes they made uneaten by anyone.

Banging on Anti and Trick’s door gets them no answer from anyone. Trick and Dapper are not allowed to talk to anyone outside of the room, and they are, after all, very good at following the rules.

The day passes coldly.

Anonymous asked: I'm no doctor, but seems more like he took the drugs rather than sold them... Speaking of doctors, I think there's someone you might want to fetch.

Trick is awake first.

He comes over to check on the camera, brushing his fingers through his hair and yawning as he wakes up. His face is a little pale - he smiles, but there is an unnerving emptiness to it.

“We can’t get the doctor for Anti because we aren’t allowed to talk to anyone outside the door, and it’s locked anyway, so he couldn’t come in. I… I am worried about him, though. He’s not usually here when I wake up, just leaves me my medicine and goes.”

He turns back to look at the bed, setting you down on the counter again. Anti stirs slightly and Trick returns to his side, reaching out gently to touch his shoulder.

“Anti? Are you okay?”

Anti can’t seem to lift his head up off the pillows. “Trick,” he mumbles, rubbing at his face. He becomes aware of a second warm body at his side and stiffens, turning to regard the figure pressed up against his chest, sleeping soundly.

Ah, what a relief - the child belongs to him again.

A little strengthened, Anti runs a hand through Dapper’s hair and drags himself sitting up on shaky arms.

“Is it the 22nd?” he mumbles, grey-faced. “I do need to see Dok.”

Anonymous asked: damn anti you are not keeping together well hgfjhdfg

“Shut the fuck up,” Anti snaps, in a voice like a kid with strep. “I could turn you off forever in a goddamn second, you know. I’m fine, I’m… Trick-Trick, get me - no, no, never mind, I’m fine.”

He pushes himself to standing and staggers, collapsing to his hands and knees for a second. Trick gasps and hovers anxiously over him, prevented from falling down beside him by Anti’s hand reaching up to stop him.

“It’s fine,” coughs Anti, blood soaking his bandages thick, thick. “Don’t fucking touch me. I need to get Dok his present.”

“M-maybe you should just take it easy, Anti.”

“Shut the hell up, Trick, you’re the one who was so desperate for me to remember. Go get a goddamn shower, you’re a mess. I’ll be back in a minute.”

He staggers to his feet and heads out the door, his form glitching fuzzily.

reverseblackholeofwords asked: Dok are you okay? Heads up because Anti is headed your way...

The beeping of the camera jerks Blue awake.

“What?” he mumbles, rolling off his mattress. Red, who was lying on his chest, grumbles and turns onto his other side, snuffling sleepily.

“Anti’s coming for Dok? He’s in trouble again?”

Wide awake, Blue leaps to his feet and turns around and -

Oh. There, on the other side of the room, is Doktor on his mattress, sound asleep, pale as clean linen.

“Should we not have slept in the same room?” pants Blue, moving around the room like he’s looking for something that isn’t there. “Is Anti angry? Dok was just so sick-looking when I came home, and I got scared, and then when he woke up he wasn’t - he was just mumbling to himself and not answering when I called him, of course I brought him to sleep with us, he’s so lonely lately - oh, my little brother.”

Blue gets down beside Doktor and puts a hand on the back of his head, shaking him gently. “Hey, Alle, you with me?”

Dok stirs, his face tightening.

“Mh?”

“Dok,” murmurs Blue, rubbing the back of his neck, an optimist’s smile rising on his mouth despite himself at his sleepy face. “Wake up.”

“What’s going on?”

“Um, I don’t know. I think Anti - ”

“I’ll head him off,” comes a voice from behind him. Blue turns to see Red rising, the stiffness of sleep already fading from him. His face has taken on that calmness again.

“I’ll check what’s going on. Make sure Dok’s okay. Love you.”

“What? Red, be careful. Love you too, of course.”

Red is already slipping out into the hallway, just in time to nearly bump chests with Anti.

“Watch it, Red!” he snaps.

“Anti! We didn’t hear from you or Trick at all last night, I was worried! We - ”

“Yeah, yeah, okay. Never mind. Is Dok up?”

“Yes, Anti. Is everything okay?”

“Where’s those candles I told you to get?”

“My bag in the clinic, Anti.”

Anti staggers slightly as he moves past him and Red frowns, something lighting up in his eyes. He watches his little brother walk but knows better than to offer help.

“Here, here, here,” mumbles Anti, picking up the backpack and taking out a plastic bag stuffed full of tall white candles. “Mh, perfect! Good boy.”

“Anti?” says Red softly. “Are you okay?”

There’s blood on his shirt again, not only where it was yesterday but also on his back, heavy around his lowest ribs.

Anti ignores him and returns, turning to enter Doktor’s room.

He gasps and drops the candles.

“Where is he?” he shrieks, whirling on Red. “Where is my boy, where is my healer?”

“Anti, Anti! Please, he’s just in our room!”

Blood comes seeping out of Anti’s eyes and Red steps back as his little brother bursts into a painful bout of coughing, clutching at his chest. “In your room?” he gasps around choking. “Why? Who told you you could do that? He’s separated for a reason.”

“Anti, something was wrong with him last night.” Fuck, but Red has gotten good at stopping his voice from trembling. “Your caretaker made the decision to bring Dok to our room, to make sure he didn’t worsen during the night.”

Cool, clipped, professional, distant. The mention of Blue seems to soothe Anti a little, and he wipes the streams of blood into red smudges on his face.

“Whatever,” he manages finally, his eyes dark, his chest still working a little too fast. “Get out, then. Go make breakfast. Need to talk to my Deutsch.”

He shoves past Red and into his room. “You too, Blue!”

Blue comes scurrying out of the room, whispering a reassurance to Doktor before hurrying away.

Feeling dizzy, Dok does his best to sit up, his eyes wide.

Anonymous asked: December 22nd and candles... Hanukkah?

For a second, Doktor is frozen, staring at your lens.

“No…” he says softly. “He wouldn’t have remembered, he wouldn’t have… he doesn’t…”

“I resent that,” comes a voice from the doorway.

Doktor looks up at Anti. Anti looks back, frowning a little.

The window casts him in a glow of warm gold light. He stands with his hand holding the doorframe, a little pale, a little tired, a little weak. With the blood on his face, he looks soft and hurting, and at the look in Doktor’s eyes, he offers a small smile.

“You really didn’t think I’d do anything?”

“Didn’t…. didn’t know you cared. Especially considering… lately, I…”

“Don’t worry about that right now,” says Anti, stepping in and shutting the door behind him. “I wouldn’t not give you your holiday just because of that. I can be merciful, you know. How are you doing after last night?”

“Oh… okay. Now.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Yeah, fine, fine. Did you really, um - did you really get me candles?”

Doktor’s voice is shaking hard. Anti’s smile curves slyly up and he hums, sitting down beside him on the mattress, and hands the plastic bag over, throwing a lighter from his pocket in as well.

Doktor picks up a tall white candle and holds it up to the light. The wax is smooth and warm beneath his fingers, wafting a faint smell that awakens in him the vestiges of soft old memories, like felt at the edges of his mind. Firelight, fried pancakes, the lilt of cheerful voices chattering on his every side, laughter…

Warmed down to the inside of his chest, he lets out a soft hum and places the candles lovingly back in the bag. A tear drips down onto his present and he clutches the bag to his chest, looking up at Anti.

“Thank you,” he whispers.

“Course. Listen, Dok…”

Anti shifts and Doktor braces himself, looking over at him.

“I’ve been… hard on you lately. I… I’m sorry.”

A weight ascends from Doktor’s chest. He can barely breathe.

“Oh… no, no, it’s okay!”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, I mean - I - you’re right, really, I should have been watching Trick and Dapper better, both of them - ”

“Well, yeah,” sighs Anti, frowning at the ceiling. “Of course.”

“And I - I know I could do better, at a lot of things. I never meant to make you angry, Anti, I didn’t, I - I’m sorry for everything, master, I’m sorry I didn’t - didn’t stop him and didn’t save him and don’t deserve him - ”

“Come on, Dok, come on!” protests Anti, laughing now. “Don’t cry!”

“But I just - I just - and I appreciate the candles and all, I do, so, so much, but I was wondering - ”

“Dok, calm down, fuck. Haha, you’re so easily worked up these days! It’s a good day, let’s leave it at that. Here, have fun with your candles. There should be other presents too, but I’ll just let Red give them to you on Christmas with everybody else’s, okay?”

Deutsch’s mouth hangs open lamely, his eyes bright and streaming tears. He tries to get his lips to move, his tongue to answer, tries to get the words out -

He can’t fucking do it. He can’t ask for the one thing he really wants. He bows his head, clutching the candles to his heart, feeling utterly alone.

“Happy Hanukkah, Dok,” purrs Anti, giving him one last brush of his hair before getting to his feet, preparing to leave.

“Thank you,” whispers Doktor, curling in on himself. “Thank you, Anti.”

Anonymous asked: is there a way dok can see trick? it will do them both good to see each other

Anti pauses and turns to read the message.

His eyes widen slightly and he turns to Dok just in time to catch a glimpse of something he has rarely, if ever, seen on his face - a desperation like a dying soldier’s, a desperation like someone watching their loved one pass away before their eyes.

Anti stares at Dok, confused. He glances back at you, thinking.

“P-please…” It falls from Doktor’s mouth like a Hanukkah blessing. “Please, Anti… even just for Christmas day… even just for a moment… please…”

Anti shakes his head slightly, frowning. A little blood is trickling from his mouth now, and he wipes it away, feeling a little faint.

“I don’t know… I don’t think it’s a good… I mean, I guess I won’t want Trick and Dap to be apart from the rest of you on Christmas, but…”

cest-mellow asked: letting them see each other would be the greatest christmas gift you could ever give them. they would be so grateful, so so thankful, anti. just for christmas. a few hours won’t hurt, you know? and it’ll be something they can work toward! if everyone is good, good things happen. please..?

Anti sighs, rubbing at his eyes a little. Fuck, but he aches.

“I will be very careful,” promises Dok softly. “And very good.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes. Yes, sir.”

Anti glances at your message again.

“Mh… okay.”

Doktor nearly leaps up from the mattress, his eyes shining.

“If you are very, very good these next few days. Do you understand me? No trouble at all, Doktor, not a peep out of you to cause me the slightest headache. Then you can see Trick for a day.”

“Okay! Okay, yes, that sounds - yes, I can do that. I can.”

Doktor’s practically vibrating. He folds his hands carefully over his candles. Blessings are already singing through his head.

“Okay,” says Anti, casting a gentle gaze at him. Doktor simpers under the warmth, his eyes lighting up with something he’s been missing for some time now - devotion. “Bye, Dok-Dok.”

“Anti?”

“What?”

“Tell me if you need anything - anything at all.”

“Will do, Allemagne.”

Anti heads out the door.

There’s a pause.

Doktor throws himself back on his mattress and lets out a cry of pure ferocious joy through gritted, grinning teeth, striking his hand on the bed once, twice.

“Hölle ja!” he screams, lifting his arms to the sun, beaming. “Hölle ja, best first of Hanukkah ever!”

Your other camera follows Anti back towards his room. He’s laughing.

“Isn’t he so fucking easy to please?”

Anonymous asked: Pssst, Dapper! Did you...did you really forget everything?

You find Dapper up, but not on his own - he’s propped against the headboard of the bed, his face nearly slack, but still smiling faintly. Eyes circled heavily in blue stare blankly back at you, and he lifts his loosely tied hands like a marionette, his body jerking. Even his face twitches.

“I’ve forgotten nothing,” he assures you, signing slower than usual. For a second his hands hesitate, wandering down to reach around the back of the ribs, shaking, but then he rights himself. “How many times has Anti reset my head, and always the broken mind snaps back again, and fragments come to me like a rush of alcohol, disrupting everything, crooning old memories at me like siren song. No, this is just…”

His hands fall slowly towards the bed. His eyes drift dizzily away.

“Just… reversion… keep my head trapped back there, like I was when I was young… what’s… happening to me…”

“You need some medicine,” a strong voice interrupts him, and Anti appears in the doorway, smiling. Trick slinks away from him, smiling nervously, but Anti ignores him, stepping over towards Dapper and pulling a bottle of prescription medicine out of his hoodie pocket. He unclicks the child safety lock and shakes a pill into his hand, reaching out to press it to Dapper’s lips.

There is a small twelve printed on the tiny white surface.

“Come on, so.”

“Oh, okay, yes, sir, but Anti, this - this isn’t my medicine.”

“Well, it is now.”

“Oh, but my medicine - Anti, I haven’t had it yet and I don’t want my mind to - can’t I please have my medicine, I - ”

“Dapper, stop playing games and take this. It’s to replace the Haldol. Okay?”

Dapper stares up at him, that twisted smile still fixed on his mouth.

“Okay. Yes, Anti.”

He parts his lips and lets Anti place it on his tongue.

“There.” Anti tugs on a strand of his curly hair, smiling slickly at him. “All better now, yeah?”

Dapper’s eyes do not shine, but his smile does.

“Yes, Anti.”

“There’s my good boy.”

His mouth is, very slightly, leaking blood.

Anonymous asked: Is there something wrong, Anti?

Anti moves slightly away from Dapper, licking at his bloodied lips.

“No,” he murmurs, seeming to barely register the question. “No, of course not… I can… I can control all this… soon all will be well again. All will be well again soon.”

He sinks down onto the bed, steadying himself. What little color was in his face is draining.

“Just a little tired.”

Anonymous asked: Boys do you have a Christmas tree?

Dapper drifts in and out of nightmares.

A swollen river rushes past his feet. His dress shoes are soaked. He can hear someone yelling. Fire in the distance. Fire getting closer.

Dapper turns over in his sleep. A moment later, he is yanked back, held tight under Trickshot’s arm.

Anti glitches past him in a spasm of coding and color and blood. Dapper can taste his copper magic on the air. Dapper can smell ocean water and a forest soaked in rain. He can hear someone crying.

He whimpers in his sleep. Trick does not awaken.

He sees Blue stand.

And then he sees Blue fall.

Blood slicks his white face.

“Blue!” someone screams, but no one goes to him, no one answers. “Blue!”

Blue does not get up.

Dapper jerks awake, grabbing at the sheets around him, panting so hard he can barely sit up. Trick grumbles at him, tugging sleepily at his shirt, trying to get him to calm down while still half-asleep.

“Why are you fussing, Dap, I’m tired…”

“Sorry. Sorry. It’s nothing. Go to sleep. Go back to sleep.”

Trick is already slipping back onto his pillows.

Dapper sighs and begins carefully smoothing down his dress shirt, wrinkled from wearing it to bed. He spends long minutes using his fingers to press the folds down, and again, and again, trying to get the wrinkles away, without much success. He straightens his tie - far too tight around his neck, far too tight - and finally rises. He uses the bathroom and trims his beard and mustache carefully before making his way over to you and checking over the messages.

“Christmas tree?” He glances around the room, confused, staring out the window, where sun and heat pour cheerfully through the windows. “It’s… Christmas?”

“It’s like the 24th or something,” mumbles Trick, rubbing at his face. “Cause Hannukah was the 22nd…” He yawns hugely and turns back on his side, trying to decide whether or not to go to bed. His neck is beginning to bruise from the collar he wears.

Dapper brightens a little, standing up straighter. “Maybe we will get a Christmas tree or something, then! It doesn’t look like Christmas at all outside. After all, it’s - ”

He pauses and glances towards the door as voices trail back to the end of the hall.

“Can I get anything?”

“Within reason. Anything you need and some real presents for each other. Not just food and medicine and clothes and stuff, Red, something you can actually enjoy.”

“Well, we enjoy not starving,” Red answers, in what Dapper thinks is probably a joke. Probably.

“Haha.” Anti’s voice is a dry, weary rasp. “Just do it.”

“Yes, Anti. Can I bring Trick and Dap?”

“What? No. Why would you possibly do that?”

“Well, they’d probably like to pick stuff out for each other, you know?”

“No, I don’t know. They’ll get presents and you’ll pick out plenty for the others. There’s no reason for them to choose their own just to give them away. You can take Dok, though, if you want. I’m sick of his moping.”

“He liked having his candles, though. He’s been quiet. He’s been good.”

“See that he stays that way, if you take him into town.”

“Yes, Anti.”

And then the door to Dapper’s room creaks open, and he gets a half-second where his gaze meets Red’s, and then Anti is stepping in and shutting it behind him.

“Hi, Anti,” signs Dapper eagerly, reaching out for a hug, but Anti is already brushing past him and getting back into bed. He gives a small gasp as he tears slightly at the wound on his back, but a second later he is growling it away, curling his body around Trickshot’s, and closing his eyes once again.

Dapper sighs, disappointment dripping down his face. For a second, he stares hungrily at the locked handle of the door, listening to the sounds of Red and Blue getting ready to leave the house, to wander, to be free for the day, even to buy things for the people they love.

Dapper sits down beneath the windowsill, staring out at the sky.

“I love my little puppetbox,” his hands insist, and then again: “I love my little puppetbox.”

He finds his puppets and a red blanket - no, it’s a red curtain of some sort - and he curls up in the corner and begins to play alone, a blank smile on his mouth.

Anonymous asked: Merry Christmas, boys. We love you!! ....you too, Anti, you salty turtle.

Red is standing in the clinic, shaking just a little. In the other room, you can hear Dok and Blue talking quietly.

After a few minutes, Red lifts up the wad of cash that he’s been given and begins to count it - carefully, carefully, carefully, his family’s holiday held there in his hands.

His breathing picks up and his eyes alight.

“Merry Christmas to you too,” he giggles, glancing up at you.

And then:

“Merry Christmas to you too!” he shouts, slamming a foot against the ground and whirling in a circle with a joyful whoop. Cries of protest at being startled arise from the bedroom and he laughs, darting towards Blue and Doktor, who look up at him with concern in their eyes.

“Roser, you are being so loud!”

“Get your shoes on!”

“What?”

“Get your shoes on, we’re going into town! We get to go pick out presents, dude!”

“Wait - really?”

Red shoves the cash into Blue’s hands and darts away to grab his shoes and his backpack. “Dok, you too!” he sings, hurrying around the house. “I’ll let you pick some stuff out, even!”

Doktor shrinks slightly in on himself, frowning.

“Oh, I don’t know…”

“Deutsch, you have to go.” A Blue growing in excitement hastens to his feet and finds his boots, tugging them on without delay. “Who wants to be stuck in this little house all day anyway?”

“Long time since I was out of the house… I don’t know. Maybe I should stay. Someone could come needing help.”

bupine asked: dok, if you go out you can get a gift for trick!!

“Oh… I suppose that’s true.”

“Red, you’ll let Dok get something just for Trick, won’t you?”

“Yeah, sure! I can’t remember the last time we had this much cash.”

“But what will I get him?”

“Hey, everybody will be happy to help you figure it out.”

“But what if he doesn’t like it? What if he doesn’t want it at all anymore?”

“Dok,” scolds Blue, pulling his little brother to his feet. Doktor follows anxiously, refusing to meet Blue’s eyes once he’s up, playing with the end of his tattered shirt.

“Deutsch, look at me.”

Dok sighs and obeys, looking up. Blue takes his chin carefully in his hands.

“Trick loves you.”

Doktor softens, something like agony or maybe relief moving through his eyes. Sometimes they’re not all that different.

“He’ll love anything you get him. And he is going to be so excited to see you tomorrow. Okay?”

Doktor swallows and nods, wringing his hands together.

“You promise?”

Blue leans forward to hug him tight, wrapping his arms around Dok’s shoulders and feeling him relax. “Of course,” he reassures, patting his shoulder. “Of course.”

Red re-enters the room and holds a backpack out to Blue and a spare drawstring bag out to Doktor, who accepts it with a faint smile on his mouth, already thinking about what he’ll get his brother.

“Okay, here’s what I’m wondering.” Red pulls his hood up over his eyes and heads towards the door, handing each of his brothers a blueberry bagel and a bottle of water before the three of them head out for the day. “Do we want to go to the classic like grocery store shop place in the nicer part of town first, or do we start with that funky little tourist market where all the white people go for their cute-ass souvenirs and the vecinos sell whatever they can get their hands on? I think we’ll have time for both, but I’m not sure.”

“You just want one of those alpaca-fur stuffed animals,” snorts Blue, his boots kicking up dirt as he leaps out the door.

Red beams, turning to him. He’s more excited than you’ve seen him in a long time.

“Maaaybe.”

They dissolve into giggles and reach back to Doktor, who, finding himself the youngest, consents to let them hold his hands, just like he and Trick held Dapper’s on that fall day so far away now.

Anonymous asked: Will y’all get anything for Anti?

Red’s mouth fills up with a smile.

“Yeah,” he laughs, counting through his cash again, trailing down the mountain. Rocks slide and shift and sharpen beneath his feet, but he’s gotten pretty used to it. Dok is a little less steady - there are a couple times he’s grateful he’s being held up.

“Yeah, I think I will get him something. Not sure what, though, haha. He’s, uh. Impossible to get anything for. I hope he doesn’t get pissed off or upset or anything… and he isn’t looking well, these days, you know… so white all the time, but he won’t let Dok look at him at all…”

Dok and Blue exchange looks, letting Red lead them down the mountainside.

“Nothing ever seems to really make him happy, no matter what I do. I think he - ”

“Red,” Blue interrupts him warmly, drawing his attention away. “Why don’t we worry about that when we get where we’re going? Look, the vecinos are waving.”

Red turns to see a pair of little kids sitting on the concrete steps up on the other side of the buildings, the older one waving shyly.

“Hola,” calls Blue, releasing Dok’s hand. “Que pasa, pequeñas?”

“Hola, médico,” answers the older, making Doktor smile.

“Hola, gringos,” calls the smaller one, and Red bursts into laughter, waving back.

“Hey!” calls Blue in Spanish. “You tell your mama, when she’s ready to have her baby, send one of you to come get the médico, okay? Feliz Navidad.”

“Feliz Navidad!” they answer, turning back the way they came to return a stray chicken to their home. Red’s mood is brightened and his thoughts distracted. They will greet many people on the way down the mountain, and though not all of them will be happy to see them, Blue can’t help but think they’re starting to be a part of this community.

“It’s good for people to see you,” calls Blue, taking Dok’s hand again. “They trust you better and better each day. That man you stitched up yesterday has a big family, you know. They are better off because you’re here.”

Dok’s cheeks are flushed with pride.

You’re not sure you’ve ever seen that look in his eyes before.

Anonymous asked: Ooo, Dok, what do you think you’ll get Trick? And what will y’all get for Dap?

They travel down the mountain.

“Trick might want, like, some stuff of his own. I can’t even remember what he has back there anymore. New clothes?”

“Maybe a big blanket or something.”

“He loves that little piece of paper he has.”

They travel through the city, chatting side-by-side on a crowded Christmas Eve bus.

“Dap we gotta get more art supplies for.”

“Yeah, yeah. There’s other stuff he likes too, though. Some soft kid stuff. Isn’t that what he likes?”

“Well, some days.”

“Yeah, and then other days all he wants is a knife and some purpose.”

“He’s fucking changeable.”

“Well, who can blame him? We’ll find some stuff for him when we’re there. Anyway, Anti said he got some things for everyone anyway. I’m sure he covered his little darlings.”

They travel to the market.

“Damn. What is this place?”

Blue and Red turn to grin at their little brother.

“Oh, Dok. You got a lot to explore.”

Red hands him a wad of cash.

“Let’s go a little wild.”

cest-mellow asked: dok, you should get trick something he can keep with him, like a sweater or blanket or a stuffed toy. and then keep it next to you, hold it tight to you so when he gets it it smells like you! a way for him to have you near while anti takes care of him, you know?

Dok parts from his brothers the first chance he gets, promising to be back in an hour. As much as he loves them, he can’t remember the last time he had any real alone time. Even with Dapper and Trick away, there is always one of the twins close at hand, and nowhere but his lonely little room to retreat to, where there is nothing to do. Even amid crowds of people moving from stall to stall, he feels more alone and more at peace than he has in some time. It gives a little energy back to him and he straightens up as he walks amid colorful stalls with clothes, toys, fried food, paintings, sculptures, and more, and more, and more, counting through his cash.

“It’s been a long fucking time since I had money to spend on… whatever I want,” he murmurs, still a little in disbelief. “I have 200 soles. How can I even spend that much money?”

He circles back through the first line of stalls, so he can see everything again with a little more attention paid.

“Something soft for Trick, something he can keep with him… clothes would be the best way to ensure Anti did not take it away for reminding him of me. And he does need new ones.”

He pauses outside a store with packaged clothes covered in bootleg American merchandising and begins sorting through a box of sweatshirts, examining each one by one. You see his confidence grow as he looks through them, laughing a little at goofy slogans and pictures. Eventually he pulls out a plain but warmly knit and plush soft blue sweater and a hooded black sweatshirt with a polar bear in sunglasses on it.

“Which one you think?”

bupine asked: oh definitely the polar bear with sunglasses, no doubt about it. Anon asked: Polar bear!! It’ll make him laugh.

“I thought you might say that,” laughs Dok, picking it up in his arms. “Kind of his style, uh? He used to joke much more.”

He buys the sweater for 30 soles with broken Spanish and a smile for the worn-down teenager running the stand.

reverseblackholeofwords asked: Blue, will you get something special for Dap? I think he could use the extra love right now.

“Something special for Dap… something special for Dap… hm.”

Blue ducks under a line of knitted ponchos hanging from the ceiling of a shop and steps in to a little stuffy shop, so soft and cute it makes him laugh out loud.

“There you go, mission accomplished,” laughs Red, picking up a little cat stuffy. “Oh, these are the alpaca ones, hell yes. Blue, just get him, like, four.”

“You know Dap’s not an actual ten-year-old, right?”

“Aw, come on. What else has he ever been interested in but cute shit, toys, and the knives Anti gives him? May as well be a little kid, way he acts.”

Something flickers through Blue’s eyes, and you see him draw away from his twin a little, frowning.

“Don’t say that,” he scolds softly, turning towards the animals.

“Hey, I love him for it. Cute little guy.”

“Come on. I know neither of us remember much - ”

“Anything.”

“But there has to have been things that Dapper liked before… he started acting like this, I guess.”

“I don’t know, Blue. I think he’s always been like that. He’s just - he never really grew up, you know? He’s just a little kid, really. That’s what Anti says, and he knows Dapper better than anyone.”

Blue sighs, but chooses to brush past it. “Tell you what,” he says. “You pick out one of the animals for him, and I’ll try to find something a little more… adult, too. He’ll like them both.”

“Hey, when it comes to looking after everybody, you’re the boss.” Red accepts his brother’s authority like he knows he should. Obedience, lately, comes so easy to him that he no longer has to think to fall into the place where Anti wants him to be.

Besides, he loves the stuffed animals.

He picks out a white bear for Dapper, almost unbelievably soft with warm alpaca fur. He takes a deep whiff of its cozy scent and presses his face to it for a second, savoring the softness on his face.

“That’s the good shit,” he whispers to you, grinning, and grabs a second toy discreetly - a little black alpaca. He doesn’t notice Blue slyly picking out a white and ginger one on the other side of the store, watching carefully to make sure Red does not notice, both of their eyes brightening from the secrecy of it.

Cest-mellow requested: maybe blue gets red a tiny little spider-man plush, like the ones that go on backpacks and stuff? And maybe red gets blue some kinda ring that he put engravings on or inside :00 saying something sweet or their names !

Red wanders away from the stuffed animal shop with his bag, distracted by glittering on the other side of the market. One of the biggest stalls in the market is just hand-made silver jewelry. He smiles down at the earrings and necklaces, a little entranced.

“Better not to look here, though,” he reasons gently. “See, most of the shit in the market is cheap, but this stuff is real, you know, and they charge fair for it. Which is good. Just not for us. Reminds me of Blue, though! Anti’s kind of the one who likes to dress him up, but I love to see him a little fancy. Cause he lives for it, you know, he takes a lot of pride in his jewelry and his… his…”

He pauses, his eyes fixed on the rings.

“Fuck,” he whispers. “That’s pretty.”

He reaches out to touch a thin silver ring, carved into vines, with one rose in the middle.

“Reminds me so much of Blue,” he murmurs. “I’m not even sure why. Maybe I… no. I’m supposed to be responsible.”

He stares at the ring, conflicted.

On your other camera, Blue is having no such qualms. You find him laughing his ass off two stores away, too out of breath to explain why. He can only show you the little home-made Spiderman keychain he found. Its face is completely messed up and it’s red and black instead of red and blue. He buys it for 20 soles and continues, still giggling. Red will love that for his backpack.

Anonymous asked: Pssst, Red, I know this is supposed to be festive and all, but did you get rid of Blue’s chain yet? This might be a good place to throw it out before Anti has a surprise inspection. Also does Dap need meds? We will not have another repeat of what happened last time. Anyways, happy hunting!

Red pauses, a little alarmed. His eyes flicker around the store, and then he lifts up a finger to his mouth.

“Oh, the chain I was thinking of getting Blue for Christmas?” he continues calmly. “Already handled it. But it… it was in the bag with Doktor’s candles.”

His mouth trembles slightly. He runs his fingers over the curves of the ring, again and again.

“Christmas might be difficult tomorrow, depending on what he saw,” he says. “But I hope to make it good for my brothers at least. Anyway, Anti is handling Dapper’s medication. We should have plenty of supplies since we hit that truck.”

spicydanhowell asked: (((( blease can dok get trick a little wind up music box? i had one as a kid that was like a lullaby and it would be perfect for him

Dok wanders through the market, distracted by the sound of gentle music.

He’s got a couple bags with him now - a pair of matching red and blue shirts with Star Wars characters on them, because no one can complain about Kylo Ren like his big brothers, a big plastic bag full of dried apples for Dapper, because he’s seen him go through them like a starving sugar bat, and a tiny, half-foot, light-up Christmas tree he found, for all of his brothers.

But the music draws him away.

It’s something starry and soft.

And sad.

Reminds him a lot of Trick.

He finds a pair of girls examining it at the back of a quiet clothes and art shop, chattering in Spanish, but they eventually wander away, and Dok sidles up in their place, taking it into his hands.

It’s nothing but a carved box of wood with a plastic music player inside, a little ocean scene painted on the top. Stars in a dark sky stare down under a swaying ocean, and when he winds the box, the soft, sad, lovely music begins to play again.

The shopkeep watches him.

“Beautiful?” he asks, sparing Dok a smile.

Dok glances up. “Sí,” he mumbles. “¿Cuánto es?”

“50 soles.”

Most of his cash. That’s okay. There are some things worth having. He hands it over with a quiet “gracias” and does not ask for a bag.

He holds it in his hands. It is so beautiful to him he can barely stand to hold it.

He feels dirty.

He retreats into a quiet corner of the market, holding the box in his hands. He plays the music over and over again, until one warm silver tear drips down his lined face.

He wants to see his brother again.

cest-mellow requested: DOG TAGS !!! blue could get red some dog tags !!! ok sorry I’m done popping off now

You find Blue bartering with a shopkeeper in Spanish.

“75 soles.”

“40.”

“Gringo, you’re playing games!”

Blue laughs and holds the blank dog tags up again.

“Fine, 55.”

“If you want the inscription, 60 at the least.”

“The inscription is only one word.”

“Oh? What sort of dog tags have only one word?”

Blue beams and holds them out.

“Only one word, sir.”

The shopkeeper glares at him for a moment, and then the look softens away with a short, barking laugh. “Fine! Fine. 55 for one word. What do you want it to say?”

Blue leans eagerly over the little printing machine.

“Rojo!”

“Rojo, huh? And you’re Azul, I suppose.”

Blue runs a hand through his dyed hair, grinning as they exchange a freshly printed dog tag on a small chain for 55 soles.

“Feliz Navidad, Señor!”

“Feliz Navidad!”

Blue moves away again, smiling at the tags. He thinks that’s pretty cool. The market is beginning to quiet, but there are still people milling around - a pair of teenage girls with college t-shirts, an older man with silver-white hair, a young guy in a green jacket, with a black baseball cap pulled low over his eyes, a couple stalls down from Blue.

“That should be good for Red,” Blue hums. “Except maybe some clothes or shoes or something.”

Anonymous asked: Blue, do you think Dapper would like a pocket watch?

“Ah, yes! He has one, actually! That’s very good thinking though, he’s obsessive with that thing sometimes. I’m not sure, though, it never seems to be on quite the right time. Maybe he needs a new one. Seems a little broken to me.”

Anonymous asked: "Maybe try.. something sentimental for Dap? That isn't very specific, I know, but I think he'd appreciate a nice necklace, or a photo frame. Oh! Maybe a polaroid! He may like that!" -PF!H

“Hm… I like that.”

Blue is rounding some of the shops farther away from the main market, thinking. There’s a lot of painting and painted sculptures and things back here, all of them lovely. But he isn’t sure Dap would be able to put anything up that he didn’t make himself.

There are, however, photo frames - nice ones, hand-painted, large enough for a full sheet of sketch paper.

“He could put something of his own in there,” murmurs Blue, reaching out to touch a large photo frame with birds painted around the corners. “He might really like that. Excuse me, Señora? Cuanto es?”

He buys it at a good price and tucks it carefully into his backpack.

“That was a really good idea! Thank you!”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Who's next, guys?

After about an hour, Red, Blue, and Doktor meet back where they began, chatting about some of the things they found. They all laugh at Dap’s little white bear and Trick’s polar bear hoodie.

“Okay, next!” Red claps his hands together. “Let’s go check out the real store a few blocks down, okay? There’s some stuff I think we should get just for the house and stuff. And then we still need a few more presents. I want to make sure everybody gets at least a couple, yeah? But Anti got some for everyone too, I think, so we should be good either way.”

He turns to you, grinning, as he steps down the stairs of the market, leading his brothers away. A few people are trailing away with them - a man with his child slung over his shoulders, a young girl running errands for her mother, and a younger guy with a green coat and a black cap tugged low over his eyes.

bupine asked: get dap some art stuff remember! he'll definitely appreciate that

“Yes!” sings Red, leading his brothers back to the art section. “Number one rule of getting Dapper presents, right? What sort of things does he like?”

“I remember when we took him to the store in Norway,” offers Dok, taking a box of charcoals, colored pastel chalks, and a sketchbook off the wall. “Is that good?”

whydoilovesomanyvillians requested: can jamie get some art supplies

“No, they’re right!” protests Blue, drifting farther along the wall. “Let’s get him more than that, this is his favorite thing.”

“Maybe paints?” Dok shrugs, putting his hands in his pockets. “Does he like painting?”

“He might if he tried it, I expect.” Red picks a cheap watercoloring kit and some paper off the wall.

“How about some nice colored pencils, too?” Blue takes a big box of brand pencils off the wall. “I know he’d use these. Is that okay, Red?”

“Yeah. He’s had a rough time lately and I haven’t gotten him much else. This will all last him a while. Pile it on. He’ll love that.”

Anonymous asked: Hey blue,,, weird question but can you see the guy with the black baseball cap around?

Blue’s standing in the aisle with the sewing stuff, wondering if he could patch up some of his brother’s clothes.

“Hm?” he asks, glancing around. “There’s a guy with a black baseball cap down there, by the posters. You mean him?”

Anonymous asked: Boys I think there’s someone following you...but I don’t think he wants to hurt you guys.

Red reads your message.

You watch his smile fade away.

He draws away from you slightly, his whole body tensing. Blue, seeming to notice the difference, reaches forward to touch his shoulder. Red flinches and jerks away, trying to smile at him.

“Tell you what,” he grins stiffly. “Take your brother to get some of the blankets we’ve been talking about. Yeah?”

“Red, is everything - ”

“Yeah, Blue?”

Blue deflates, taking Dok’s hand.

“Yes, Red.”

“Good. I’ll be there in a minute.”

Dok and Blue head towards the other side of the store.

Red stares at you, his expression darkening again.

“Describe them to me.”

whydoilovesomanyvillians asked: Hey wait wasn't that guy with the hat tucked down over his face near blue before

“The guy with the hat?”

Red darts along one aisle, two, glancing around. He checks the aisle with the toys, the sewing, the crafts, the art supplies, the posters, the carvings.

“Where did he go?”

Anonymous asked: Red don’t fucking hurt him I stg if it’s who I think it is....black cap and green jacket. He’s been following Blue for the last three, four stops?

Red looks like he’s going to stop breathing, his face very white and his teeth gritted tightly, tightly, tightly in his mouth.

“Following Blue? Following Blue? Following my Blue?”

Anonymous asked: He's young, green coat with a black hat pulled low, but careful Red, you don't know if he's really trouble or not. Maybe he's just curious.

“Just curious? Just curious so he follows Blue? No, no, no. Nobody trails my family, I don’t care who the fuck he is, I’ll kill him. I’ll kill him.”

Anonymous asked: Blue??? That guy you spotted earlier, is he still following you??? Oh gosh please be careful. If he is go back to Red!! NOW

Blue whirls around, grabbing Dok suddenly to his chest over by the clothes section.

His eyes are narrowed slits. He squeezes Dok’s shoulders and glances slowly around.

“Don’t see anyone,” he mumbles.

Something like fear flickers through his eyes.

His hands glow faintly blue.

“Blue!” hisses Dok, grabbing his fingers.

“Wh - oh, shit, shit - ”

“Sh, sh,” soothes Dok. “Put them in your pockets and let’s just calm down for a moment. Everything’s okay, Blue. I don’t think anyone’s following us.”

Anonymous asked: Oh gosh did he follow Blue when he left with Dok?

Distressed, Red turns to follow his twin, casting looks in every direction. The store is busy on Christmas Eve, though, and he can’t seem to find the man you described.

whydoilovesomanyvillians asked: Blue did see him last in the store red

“Okay, maybe he’s following Blue himself somehow. I’ll look in their area.

Anonymous asked: Yes Blue, but don’t fight him yet please, we need to see his face, can you get close?

“I think I saw the guy you’re talking about. A tall guy with a lot of dark hair. I didn’t recognize his face.”

Anonymous asked: Are you very good at killing people quietly Red? Are you allowed to without telling Anti? Seems like it would attract a lot of attention and put you all in even more danger maybe, should you all just leave and go home?

Red bares his teeth savagely. For a second he does not look at all like Blue or Dok or Trick or Dapper.

“Master gave me my orders. My duty to protect them. Trust me - if someone was following us, he would be more than happy for me to drag the corpse back home to him.”

He moves coldly down the aisles, brushing blood-red hair out of his eyes.

“And… yes.

“I am very good at that.”

Anonymous asked: Why don’t we get some more information on the guy before we try to kill him, okay? Red, you need to find Blue and Dok before the man does. Don’t panic okay? You’re the big brother, you’ll keep them safe like you always do.

“Information doesn’t matter if someone’s following us,” snaps Red.

But a moment later, he is calming himself again, breathing through his teeth.

“You’re right though. I have to stay calm or I’ll scare the others. Everything’s fine. If someone’s following us it will be easy to eliminate him. I’ll keep them safe. I’ll keep everybody safe.”

Anonymous asked: Information is good though, I mean what if...what if it’s the people Anti says is hunting you guys? (I mean maybe they’re good but y’know...who knows I wouldn’t go off that) anti might appreciate that type of knowledge y’know?

Red groans a little, gripping at his hair.

“But I… Anti never tells me anything about the people who are following us… I don’t know what to look for.”

He sighs, letting his hands drop again.

“We’ll just have to see what we see when we find him. Maybe he realized I’d noticed him and ran away.”

whydoilovesomanyvillians asked: Blue how are you doing right now have you seen him

“No, I don’t see him.”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Red, letting your temper flare isn't going to help anyone. Keep a cool head and maybe he'll back off. Just keep your eyes peeled and lay low.

Red lets off a small, anxious growl of a noise, but he catches sight of Blue and Dok again and relaxes a little.

“Hey,” he calls, touching both of their shoulders. “You okay? Blue, why are you so pale?”

“Oh,” says Blue, his hands stuffed in his pockets. “It’s nothing.”

Red frowns. “Are you sure?”

“Maybe we can talk about it later?” Blue glances at Dok, who frowns.

“Fine. Fine.” Red pats both of their shoulders and turns around, thinking.

bupine asked: pleeeeeeease don't kill him, you'll just draw bad attention to yourself and anti will be pissed. why don't you talk to him and ask what he wants first, then kill later if u still feel like it (though i don't condone it)

Red sighs.

“Okay. Fair enough. Please tell us if you see him again, though. I’ll have to bring this up to Anti. He’ll know what to do. Maybe he’ll know who it is that could be coming.”

Anonymous asked: Oh no, oh no! Let's not make the boys panic over nothing, right? It's a small town. Some guy being in the same place as them doesn't have to mean anything. It's probably best just to let everyone do as they will, and not rock the boat. Yeah? Anyone could see these messages, after all.

“Right, right, right,” Red murmurs, rocking on his heels. “Yeah… yeah, you know, maybe it was just a coincidence.”

You can almost see it in his eyes that he doesn’t believe his own words, but Dok, at least, doesn’t seem concerned, and Blue is calming the longer he does not see the man.

“Okay,” sighs Red, turning to his brothers. “This doesn’t get to ruin our holiday, so now we’re playing Present-Buying: Speed Edition. Go grab the things you need and then let’s go, okay? I want to get home. You two go and I’ll be close behind just… keeping an eye out. Fifteen minutes, okay?”

“Yes, Red.”

“Dok?”

“Yes, Red.”

“There’s my good boys. See you in a minute.”

He slips away.

Anonymous asked: Do not go home. He might be waiting to follow you guys back....well I mean you could go home but we’re trying not to get people killed right? The smaller the mess, happier the glitch bitch.

“If someone tries to follow us up the mountain, I will know them by the uncertainty of their feet and the barking of the dogs behind them. I will know them by the men calling threats disguised as greetings to the stranger in their midst. I will know them by the sliding dust and the rocks the split sneakers and spill blood along the treacherous path my feet know better than the insides of my shoes.”

Red walks along a store aisle, a shadow in his eyes.

“That place is my home now, and I am Anti’s best guard dog. The mountain keeps us safe. Nothing is going to - oh, hey, Blue would like this!”

reverseblackholeofwords requested: Maybe Red could get Blue one of those night lights that shines stars on the ceiling? It’s got all kinds of constellations and stuff? Idk if that’s all that plausible but I think it’d be cute

Red reaches out to take a little battery-powered night light into his hand, with constellation patterns in the top.

“Fuck, you’re right, this is cute as hell. And Blue would love this. Pretty cheap, too - here, I’ll get one for Trick and Dap’s room too.”

Anonymous asked: Wow, that’s it. That’s red’s character in a nutshell. Why am I not surprised.

“Okay,” Red draws out, shaking his head, rolling his eyes.

Trying very hard to be annoyed.

the-weirdest-fan requested: As I’ve mostly been interacting with Anti, I feel it’d make sense for me to suggest something for him. Maybe get more cameras? As for the others, I’d say get them a fan or two. Took me forever to think of those, when it really shouldn’t have, sorry if they’re bad. Thank you mod, and happy holidays!

“Fans!” cries Red. “That’s the other thing I’ve been wanting for the house, you don’t know how hot it gets at day - and then cooler at night, but that’s our only relief. Well, I can get a couple of these little, little ones anyway. Can’t carry the normal ones right now, but maybe I can put aside some money. Better than nothing, right?

“And cameras - damn, I should get him batteries for his cameras, that’s probably best. Then he doesn’t have to use his own energy so much. Some of them still run on batteries, I think. Thank you!”

Anonymous asked: Red, you started with a Batman-style threat and it ended as a Darkwing Duck-style introduction. And I love it.

“What the hell is Darkwing Duck? Hey, you take that back! No way, I’m Batman!”

dancing-anon asked: Djlafjal Sorry I know im spamming you but like- what if the boyes get a massive blanket and they all get to snuggle under it when Anti lets them be together- (I just love this au sorry)

Blue and Dok head over towards the home stuff on the other side of the store, Dok casting confused glances between Red and the hand holding his own.

“Wait, what’s going on?”

“It’s nothing, honey,” mumbles Blue distractedly. “Don’t worry about it.”

Dok scowls. He’s starting to get tired of being the middle man between holding all the responsibility and none of it. If he were a couple months older… or maybe it’s just because Anti knows he’s a shitty fighter.

He sighs and returns to Blue’s side.

“Okay, big blanket, big blanket…”

“Blue, why are we getting a big blanket?”

“What, you like sleeping on your mattress without anything to cover you? Cozy in your jeans and t-shirt?”

Dok sighs. “That mattress isn’t even mine. Anti only got it for Dapper.”

Blue looks over at him, a flicker of sympathy on his mouth. “Well, all the more reason to make sure we have a couple blankets around. Anyway, I think Red likes having things like that when he’s… upset.”

“You’ll get two?”

“Yeah, let’s go with that. Here - ah, the big fuzzy blankets. Feel these, Alle.”

Dok reaches out to touch the blankets and can’t help a smile from crossing his mouth.

“Soft,” he admits.

“Yeah.”

Blue picks out a purple one and a red one, humming to himself enthusiastically. Dok is distracted by some of the ones a little farther down the aisle.

Anonymous asked: Nope, you did this to yourself, Red. We will forever tease you now.

“No, no, no! Hey, you’re all bastards! I’m easily distracted! That’s not my fault. What’s the opposite of saying merry Christmas, huh? I’m going to fight you all.”

He nearly crashes into someone in his protest and has to duck away. When he brings his attention back to you, he is laughing, with a bright red blush glowing on his cheeks.

“Ahhh,” he chuckles - or maybe groans - hiding his face. “I don’t know if you guys knew this but… I’m a little dumb.”

Anonymous asked: Don’t worry, we knew that lonnnnnng before you were ever Red, sweetheart.

“Hey! Haha, wait, what do you mean? No, maybe I don’t want to know.”

Anonymous asked: Awww get Trick a fluffy blanket!! Then it’ll be like a hug from his Deutsch every time he uses it. Oh wait wait wait, what if you got him a music player? With that song, Saturn on it? It’s by Sleeping at Last and you mentioned it being his favorite when in the shed. I think he’d love it a lot. Although I’m not sure how much money you guys have...or if you could even find one there.

pixie-in-trebleland asked: What if you guys try to find a weighted blanket for Trick?

bupine requested: I really wanna see dok get something for trick to help with his anxiety and stuff, like a weighted blanket (if he doesn’t already have one I don’t remember) or a fidget toy or literally anything dsugdufg I just want trick to feel better!!

“Blue?”

“Yeah, bud?”

Blue looks up to see Dok with his arms full of a small but weighty yellow sun-pattern blanket.

“Can I… can I get this? I don’t… have quite enough.”

Blue softens and reaches over to run his hands down the heavy fabric before checking the price tag. “Not terrible, really. I haven’t gotten him anything yet. I’ll help you with it.”

Doktor relaxes, holding the blanket and Trick’s sweatshirt close to his chest. “Thank you, Blau. Really, I…”

“I know, Deutsch. I know.”

Doktor smiles at him, a little vigor back in his grin.

“About ready to go?”

“Yeah.”

“Let’s go find Roser.”

reverseblackholeofwords asked: Blue? How's the uh... Glowing?

Dok snatches one of Blue’s hands out of his pockets to double-check it.

“Looks okay now,” he declares, turning his hand over a couple times.

“In your professional opinion?” asks Blue.

“Always.”

Blue laughs and then sighs, looking down at his fingers.

“I don’t… know how to make it come and go. I think I used to, once. But now it just burns.”

Dok frowns, staring at his hands.

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Hey Red, do you have anything in mind for Dap? Or for Dok?

“Yeah! Well, I got Dap his bear, so I hope that’s good. But Dok I wanted to get him coffee. Cause he never gets it, but he always talks about it, haha. And maybe… well, I don’t think they have nice, like, doctor’s coats here… but some day, I really think he should have a nice coat. I’ve never been able to afford it before.”

He sighs, glancing down at his cash.

“Maybe, um. For his birthday, I could ask Anti to get it for him. I think their birthday is in May. 14th? Maybe? Ah, bad big brother alert. But anyway, some coffee. Hey, don’t my other boys like tea? I’ll get some… um… what kind of tea is good tea? For Trick and Dap?”

immabethehero asked: (May 14th is near the main camera's birthday.) Dok's birthday is September 15th!

“September? Dok’s and Trick’s?”

Red pauses, confused. For a second, he almost looks pained.

“No, no… I… I don’t think that’s right. I think it’s in May. That’s their day.”

immabethehero asked: I feel like all of them would like stuffed animals. maybe Anti would as well! Craft supplies for Dapper and Blue likesketchbooks and drawing pencils!!! Maybe a card set for Blue!!! Running shoes for Red or a hoodie. a new Nerf Gun for Trick! A puzzle book for Doc?

“Ah, cards for Blue! And puzzles for Dok! Like logic puzzles? Dude, I actually think he’d love that.”

Red checks that Blue and Dok aren’t far off and that there is no one in a baseball cap in sight, and then hurries to the book section to grab both.

On his camera, Blue laughs at a tiny little Nerf pistol and grabs it for Trick, making Dok smile.

cest-mellow asked: did anti give you guys different birthdays? when is your birthday, red? and blues and dapper and anti?

“Dapper’s birthday is October 31 and Anti’s is August 3rd. I don’t actually remember our birthday, haha! Anti will surprise us, I suppose. Isn’t that funny? Sometimes I really don’t remember anything at all. I guess I hit my head really hard. Or… something.”

immabethehero asked: WAIT THEY SHARE A BIRTHDAY???? OH!!! Uh perhaps!!! Make sense to put it in the middle of their real birth months. May 13th?

“Ha, I don’t think Anti would make up a birthday for us. He remembers better than the rest of us is all. May 13 or 14 or something, I think.”

Anonymous asked: I take it the "birthdays" mark when Anti popped into your lives, rather than actual creation. Only worth bothering with if he's involved somehow.

“Haha,” says Red, but he looks uncomfortable. “Um, I don’t know. You’d have to talk to Anti.”

bupine asked: what are you guys getting for anti then? if anything at all fhffghfhg he seems like the type of guy who's Somewhat difficult to buy gifts for

“I don’t know,” sighs Red, a little stressed. “What does he need? Gauze, bleach, batteries, cords, wires, computers, radios, tvs… he has everything, I don’t know. What does Anti even like? Getting us stuff? Hacking shit? Damn, I miss when we used to spend days hacking that… channel, or whatever. Can’t remember the last time I coded. Used to be speedy. Taking care of us? When we’re being good, haha. He likes that - he’s controlling, even, sometimes. Maybe he wants, um…”

Red pauses, staring.

He’s next to this little display of succulents and cacti.

He watches it for a long time.

“Nope,” he says, taking one step away. “I do not have the courage to get Anti anything as stupid as a cactus. I don’t think I’ll get him anything but the batteries… ugh, but that’s so lame…”

Anonymous asked: Get Anti a stress ball. Or a rubix cube. Or crochet hooks. Dude needs a hobby.

“Haha! Yeah… maybe he does.”

Red pauses, looking around him.

“But… I don’t have it in me to tell him that.”

He spots Blue and Dok and heads back towards them, trying to put his smile back on.

“Let’s just go. I never seem to do quite right by him.”

Anonymous asked: Do y’all have everything? It might be time to head home.

“Yeah,” grins Red wearily. “Yeah, let’s head out. Bus’ll be at the stop soon.”

They pay, pack what they can into their backpacks and bags, and head out the store. It doesn’t take them long to get back to the bus stop, chatting the whole way, with Red eagerly quizzing his siblings on what they got him, and the two of them refusing to answer honestly, though Doktor makes mention of some fancy Anti-Stupidity gear he thinks the both of them will benefit from.

By the time they get on the bus, Doktor is sleepier than he would ever admit, warm in the equator sun and tired by much more exercise than he’s used to. Feeling warm in more than one sense, he allows his head to drop onto Blue’s shoulder, and closes his eyes with his brother’s arm around him.

Which is when he hears: “Red! Red!”

“What?”

“Red - the man - ”

And both of his siblings, on either side of him, stiffen like sculptures.

Anonymous asked: Is everything okay?? Is the man back

Red turns you on his shoulder so you can see. A glimpse of his white face and taut mouth, and then you can see the man.

He sits on the other side of the bus, that cap low over his eyes. Dark curls of hair drift about his shoulders. He has a fine, thin mouth and long hands stretched over his knees. He stands. There were seats when Dok and Blue and Red got on, but not when the man did.

“Red,” whispers Blue, though he does not know what for.

“Yes,” says Red, in answer to nothing and everything. “Yes.”

Anonymous asked: Ay, just play it cool. Let the guy make the first move if he does at all. It could just be a coincidence, right?

“Let’s see if it is,” whispers Red through his teeth, tightening his grip on his twin’s hand. “Blue, you know the way back home.”

“What?”

“At the next stop, take your little brother and get off. If he tries to follow you, he won’t get far.”

“Red, I’m not leaving you behind.”

“Did I give you an order?”

“Don’t start that with me, we both know - ”

“Did I give you an order?” spits Red, whirling on him.

Blue quiets, his mouth trembling just a little.

“Well? Did I?”

“Yes, Red.”

“Is your duty to me or to Dok?”

“To… to my little brothers. But Red - ”

“At the next stop, you take Dok and get off. You go home whether or not I follow. Understood? Blue, am I understood?”

“Yes, Red. Yes.”

“Good, then.”

There is a long pause between them. Doktor has not opened his eyes. Sometimes he finds it easier to pretend things aren’t happening. His whole life seems to be arguing and putting brothers back in their places.

“I love you,” says Red shortly.

“I love you too,” answers Blue, with nothing but grief.

Anonymous asked: Blue don’t explode, just relax and maybe hold Dok’s hand? Just try to keep a grip on your magic.

Blue winces and sinks down in his seat, clutching onto Dok’s hand. At this, his little brother, still playing asleep at his side, gives a short, firm squeeze in response - cool, measured, professional.

He sets his head down on Doktor’s and tries to breathe.

The next stop comes with the hissing of the brakes and the rough exhale of weary smoke. Blue clutches the fuzzy blanket on his chest and gets up, pulling Dok along with him. His eyes set straight ahead, he refuses to look at the man as he walks, refuses to look as he passes, refuses to look as he exits the bus…

Still, he catches one thing - the small, delicate symbol of a raven on a leather bracelet on the man’s wrist.

The man moves as if to get off as well, but then, as Doktor and Blue pass him, he jolts slightly and waits, but no one else comes. After long minutes have passed, after the bus has started off again, he turns casually back and sees -

Red’s eyes.

Blue as cold ocean water.

Burning into him like a wood fire.

He turns around again and stares out the window of the bus as Red’s eyes bore into him.

Anonymous asked: Get off at a different stop. If he follows still, lose him and either walk from there or get on the bus again to your actual stop. How long is it between bus routes?

“I don’t know,” mumbles Red. You shake slightly on his shoulder as his leg bounces at a hundred kilometers a minute. “This might be my chance to follow him. I can stalk him somewhere we won’t be seen. Or, maybe, now that he knows I’m aware of him, he’ll be smart and just leave us be… the next stop is a couple miles from my usual stop, but I don’t mind if I have to walk.”

He pauses, chewing on his lip, his eyes flickering around. After a moment he draws out the shitty old flip-phone he carries sometimes and reaches down to the contacts to click on the only name there: Anti.

The phone rings and rings, but doesn’t pick up.

Has he ever not picked up before?

Red swears, tucking it away again, glaring at the back of the man’s head.

“I don’t know if I should follow or just go home. I need to find out what’s happening, but I’m also alone and he could be dangerous.”

spicydanhowell asked: don't follow him, red. just try anti again. if he doesn't pick up, go home and tell him what happened. it would be very dangerous to go all by yourself

Red likes that idea. He grabs the phone and tries again, eager for his little brother’s assurances.

The phone vibrates patiently, again and again.

Then it stops.

“Anti?” calls Red, after a moment, when he doesn’t get a greeting. “Are you there?”

A slight buzz on the other end of the line.

He thinks he can hear someone shouting somewhere.

“Anti?” repeats Red, a little frightened. “Anti?”

There’s a soft clicking - familiar, somehow.

“Dapper?”

Something slams in the background. Someone whistles.

Red waits, but no answer ever comes.

The call ends.

Anonymous asked: Do NOT go home. Don’t lead him to your house or the others.

“He can’t follow me,” mumbles Red, eyes angry. “Nobody could follow me up the mountain without me noticing. But I could trail him for a while and make sure he knows I’ll kill him if he tries to follow me anywhere.”

Anonymous asked: Red, you can handle yourself. Get off at the next stop and then try to get away, or stay on the bus stall for time so Blue and Dok can get back and tell Anti. Try to determine if he has any weapons on him. Are you armed?

“I’m always armed.”

Red touches the pocket of his hoodie, where a retractable staff you’ve seen before sits in its pouch. “It’s not much, but it’s enough.”

He pauses, thinking. “Even if I lost him, you’re right - I need to make sure Blue and Dok get back to Anti. And if they can tell him what’s going on, there’s less need for me to be there. Maybe I should follow… at least for a little while…”

The bus sighs to a stop.

bupine asked: i feel like you should follow him! it's clear he wants something with you and your brothers, and if he turns out to be a threat you can eliminate him. otherwise he'll just kind of be out there, doing god knows what. following him and finding out what his objective is would make it safer for you and your brothers in the long run, as long as you don't do anything stupid or reckless

His chest bubbles with anger. He gets to his feet.

“I’ll follow him for a little while. Stay with me, okay? If something happens, you’ll need to be able to tell my brothers.”

The man walks off the bus without looking at him, and Red slips through the crowd after him. He could swear that he can feel the connection between them - the cold bond of predator and prey.

He doesn’t know which role he’s playing. Heat burns crimson in his chest.

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Try to be objective, Jackie. You're going to need as many wits about you as you can!

“Objective,” he mumbles, sliding through the crowd. He moves always from crowd to crowd, hiding spot to hiding spot, blending in to blending in again somewhere new, a chameleon with a red hood drawn over his head.

“Objective with someone stalking my Blue.” He stands out in the open for a moment, but no one spares him a second glance as he stands casually and glances at his phone, one figure among hundreds. You lose track of the man’s head, but Red never does.

“The last time someone was chasing us, Trick nearly killed himself and we had to flee our home. The time before that, I’m told Dok was shot and Anti nearly died protecting him. Feels like we’re always being hunted. I don’t care who by anymore. I just want my family to be safe. If I could just get rid of the people who hunt us. If I could just get rid of everyone who ever came near us…”

He slips away again. You are in a quieter part of the city now. Laundry hangs out of the glass-less windows of concrete houses and dogs eye Red warily from the shade of dark alleyways. Women walk home with their keys clutched tightly between their fingers. Red follows the man.

Anonymous asked: Get off in a public place and then wait. If its in a public area, he can’t do anything without drawing the attention of other people. Figure out what he wants, and stall as long as you can. Make sure there are plenty escape routes if you need to get away, and be careful.

“That’s a good point… but we’re getting less public as we go. He may be intentionally leading me somewhere quieter. Could even be a trap, I don’t know… I don’t know who he is or what he wants. I’m used to running from cops, PIs, government workers, anybody official, you know? But he just looks so normal. Maybe he’s plain-clothes, but he’s so young, and almost disheveled. He could - hey!”

Red hisses and withdraws into the shadows of a building, staring down the alleyway where he thought he’d seen the man go.

“He disappeared! There’s no doors down there that I can see. How did he do that?”

He pauses, staring, but the man does not reappear.

He tries not to shiver in a sudden chill wind.

Anonymous asked: Red, he’s leading you away from a public place! Get away, he’s trying to corner you!

Grinding his teeth, Red withdraws slightly, staring around him. The people on the street all seem to have retreated into homes and run-down buildings, or maybe they’ve all gone away entirely.

Wind ruffles through Red’s hair.

There is something very hard in his eyes.

He takes a step into the alley.

Anonymous asked: Jackie, random question, are there any birds nearby?

Jackie glances around.

A pair of swallows flit through the air as little black figures far above him.

Above a closed restaurant down the block, a worn statue of an owl perches with dead eyes.

Across the street, he makes eye contact with a carrion bird, bald and wrinkled and hateful in the filthy street, glaring at him with ragged wings and scarred face.

“The birds work for the bourgeoisie?” he jokes weakly, trying to smile at you.

Something crunches in the alley. He whirls back around.

There is still no one there he can see.

reverseblackholeofwords asked: Red, has anyone *magical* ever come after you guys before? Maybe someone who can sense Blue's power?

Red is backing away now, his mouth taut.

“Sometimes Anti talks about old friends… from when we belonged to our first master. Sometimes Anti talks about hiding Blue’s and Dapper’s scents… but I can never smell anything on them.

“Sometimes I think the world has a lot more danger in it than Anti lets me see. Sometimes I think there are things only he and Blue and Dapper can see.”

Anonymous asked: Blue, Dok, are you two doing okay? Red tried to call Anti but Dapper picked up instead...either Anti passed out again or something’s up. Be careful but hurry home! Red is going to tail the guy for a little bit and see what he wants. We have no idea if there’s more than one guy though, so keep an eye out.

“Oh, fuck, I wish he wouldn’t,” gasps Blue, halfway sprinting down the street, Dok clinging to his hand at his side. “Did he really go to trail someone all on his own? Fuck, he’s going to get hurt! What, and now Anti’s not answering? Fuck, fuck.”

“Blue,” Dok insists, tugging at his sleeve. “Try to calm down, he can handle himself.”

“I don’t want him to get hurt.”

“I know. Me neither. But we don’t know where he is right now. Let’s just get home and make sure everyone’s okay back there. For all we know, Red will be waiting for us, uh?”

Blue gives a long exhale through his teeth, trying to listen to his little brother.

“Okay. Okay. Not far now, just a few more miles.”

“Ahhh,” groans Doktor. “I’m tired already. Anti let me get so fat…”

Blue snorts out a laugh despite himself, and Dok winks when he turns back to smile at him.

Anonymous asked: Hey Blue, are shapeshifters a thing?

“Oh, hm.” Blue frowns, trying to think. “Oh, I remember so little… I’m not supposed to talk about magic, you know… but hey, you’ve seen Anti, haven’t you? You know there are things that are not quite human, that can change at will. And then there are things like me, that are quite human, but… different. Touched by something not quite human. And then there are beings like Dapper. I remember so little… I used to know, shit, I swear I used to know…”

bupine asked: ok, starting to think this was a bad idea. probably get the fuck outta there red, tell anti about what happened and see if he can do anything about it. we don't want you to get fucking shanked fhejgfhjcjgd. badlypostedmusicals and three anons voiced similar concerns and were copied here.

“You know what,” breathes Red, backing away. “I think you might be right.”

But he cannot seem to turn his back on the alley.

Something is there.

He cannot see it. He cannot smell it. He cannot find it at all. But he feels it the same way he could swear he feels it when Anti is home or away - like something is shifting, pulsing, unraveling in his rapid heart.

“Okay,” he whispers, to you, to himself, to anyone who might be listening. “I’m just… going to go now.”

He turns his back on the alley. You turn with him.

And so it is that you do not see the man coming -

All you know is that suddenly, Red is jerked back, and he cries aloud in his shock and his fear, and, at the very corner of your vision, you can see the silver gleam of the knife at his throat.

Arms wearing the green sleeves of the man’s coat press it sharply to his Adam’s apple.

“Muévete,” comes a sharp, hissing whisper. “Y te mataré, demonio.”

He yanks Red back down the alley, deeper into the shadows.

Anonymous asked: The man knows about Anti

Red chokes as blood blooms on his neck, dragged back into the alley, panting.

The man knows about Anti. The man knows about Anti.

His little brother, his commander, his universe. How long has he protected him? How much has he seen him through? Anti’s given him everything he has. Anti’s sacrificed himself more than once to give Red everything he has.

The man knows about Anti. The man knows about my little brother, splayed out in his bed back home, sick with fatigue and distress. The man knows about my Anti.

Fury explodes across Red’s brain.

“Get the fuck off me!” he screams, and he shoves himself back so hard the man slams into the wall of the alleyway. Blood sprays across Red’s neck and he gasps, but it is not deep enough to stop him, and he leaps away from the man’s grasp and whirls on him, grabbing him by the coat.

whydoilovesomanyvillians asked: But who is it though

“Who are you?” shouts Red, slamming him back against the wall of the alley once, twice. “Who are you, you bastard, you creep! I’ll kill you! I’m going to fucking kill you!”

The man gives a wordless shout and kicks out at Red’s chest. Red barely back away, stumbling back and nearly slipping on - ice? Here? In the heat?

Red gasps and turns back to the man - but he is vanished again.

“What the fuck?” Red whispers, stepping off the patch of ice beneath his feet.

And then something slams into him, and he crumples to the ground, crying out at the sensation of an elbow connecting with his nose. The man reappears as though he’d been photo-shopped out a second ago, and suddenly he is pinning Red to the earth and drawing back a cold silver knife. Ice crackles and grows beneath Red’s body, holding him in place.

“Capataz de esclavos,” spits the man. “Liberaré a los otros hombres por tu muerte!”

“No hablo español, gilipollas!” Red returns, furious. “Let me go!”

Anonymous asked: Goddammit Anti this is why you piCK UP YOUR PHONE!

Checking back on your camera in Trick’s room, you see Anti startle awake at the persistent beeping of the camera, panting hard just from the shock of getting up. His black eyes fix blearily on you and his hands clench and unclench on his blankets as he tries dazedly to get the message through his head.

“Pick up my phone?” he coughs, trying to push the blankets off his legs. When did everything get so heavy. “My… my phone, where… where are all my boys…”

He stares around the room, licking at his dry lips. A little blood comes running from his eyes and he groans as his distress rises.

“Trick!” he croaks out, in a voice that shakes like an earthquake. “Dapper! Where are you? Where are all my boys? What’s going on? Need my computer, my…”

He swings his legs over the side of the bed and has to stop there, the color draining from his face. You see a great dark stain of blood seeping into the bedsheets where he lay.

“D-Doktor,” he whispers, his eyes drifting. “Doktor, I want my…”

Anonymous asked: ANTI YOU GET YOUR SAD ASS UP NOW AND FIX THIS ! JACKIE JUST GOT SNATCHED AND THE MAN KNOWS WHO YOU ARE

“Snatched?”

Anti’s voice glitches horribly. Every noise you can hear from his camera begins to ring painfully through your ears.

He staggers to his feet, blood pouring down his face.

“Snatched? Snatched? My Red? Who, who? Where is my boy? Where is my guard dog? No, no, no, get him back for me, give him back! Dapper! Dapper! Jameson! Where are my fucking boys? Give him back, give him back! Hoodie! Red!”

He tries to glitch away from you and you hear him give a scream before he reappears a second later and crumples on the side of his bed, wailing.

Anonymous asked: (excuse my translator spanish, but-) Dumbass, él es uno de esos hombres que estás tratando de liberar! ¡Detener!

I also would like to apologize for my translator Spanish. Feel free to help me out if you know better - as you’ve seen, I prefer to just put what’s being said in italicized English, but we can’t do that without Blue to translate. I would never use translator Spanish for a fic but on an ask blog where we’re writing without drafts or an actual translators to help me in real time, I hope you’ll forgive me. :) Thanks for sticking with me!

The man blinks down at the camera, confused.

“¿No él?” He stares down at Red. Red glares back up. “¿Quién es la oscuridad dentro de sus cabezas?”

“I’ll show you la oscuridad,” hisses Red, and he slams his knee through the ice that binds him, and drives it up and into the man’s stomach.

Anonymous asked: Anti, I don't know where exactly, but blue and Dok split off from Red to get away from the guy, they would be closest to red but we don't know where any of them are specifically. Hell I don't even know why trick and dapper aren't responding to you. Did you do something?

“No, no, I’ve been asleep, I thought they’d be here with me, Trick always sleeps when I sleep and Dap was just playing like a good boy, wh-where have my boys gone? My window is, why… I - split from Red, where did he… where would he go, who would hurt him, my Red…”

Anti shudders suddenly and jerks to the side, spitting a long stream of blood from his mouth. He’s starting to get very white. His pupils are pinpricks in blue and brown eyes.

Anonymous asked: shit shit shit!! blue, red just got attacked! you have to get to anti for help!

“What?” shouts Blue, stopping in the middle of the pathway. A woman pokes her head out of her doorway, frowning.

bupine asked: hey blue, dok, just thought y'all should know that red just got fuckin jumped in an alleyway by some random dude, not quite sure who it is but anyway more on this story as it develops i guess?? stay strong and get home quickly guys I'm sure he'll be just fine

“Holy shit!” shouts Blue, letting go of Doktor’s hand and beginning to sprint up the mountain, something Dok thinks should probably be impossible, seeing as he can’t seem to go two steps without slipping.

“Blue, wait!” he cries, struggling up the mountain after his brother. “Blue, your hands! Calm down! You must calm down, your hands! Idiot, wait!”

Anonymous asked: Oh gosh Blue, the man he knows what Anti is and he’s got Red now

“He knows… he knows what Anti is?”

Blue finally pauses, staring back down the mountain, his eyes wet.

You can see so much of the city from here. From the slums grow silver buildings towering up over crowded streets. Gorgeous churches spread wide their gardens and cathedrals, bustling marketplaces swarm with chattering people, the mountainside crawls with little houses and hard-working people for as far as the eye can see. And down, down, down from the mountain, the ocean spreads its arms to hug the whole city, glittering blue in the December sun.

“Fuck, Red,” Blue whispers. “Please be okay. Whoever we’re dealing with… this is no ordinary enemy.”

Anonymous asked: Blue, the man who attacked Red is only attacking him because he thinks he’s Anti. He wants to free all of you, he’s good!

“Free us? Free us from what? He’ll take Red away from us! Anti can’t help it that he was made looking like a monster! He can’t help it what he is! We don’t need to be freed from anyone! That’s my little brother!”

He turns his eyes back towards the house, panting.

“And he’s in trouble, now. Dok, come on!”

Anonymous asked: Okay, what about energy? Can you sense magical “scents” or whatever? Is there something people like you can see that others, like Red, can’t?

“I do get the smells Anti talks about,” Blue admits, panting his way up the mountain. “I smell dust and copper and petrichor when Dapper uses his magic, most of the time. And Anti I can always sense - he seems to make the air burn. Sometimes my hands, too, but I don’t know why. He says I used to fear him, in another life. I guess part of me still thinks he’s dangerous… treacherous heart. I don’t know about seeing things, though. Maybe?”

Anonymous asked: Yes, but we’ve managed to get the man to stop for now. But dapper and Trick have disappeared and Anti is basically dying on the floor in their bedroom. He was calling for...Doktor.

“Dapper and Trick are gone? What? This is fucking crazy, this is crazy! Okay, we’re almost there, just let me get to the house… fuck, Dok, can’t you keep up?”

“Fuck you,” calls Dok, looking stressed. “I’m going so fast right now, arschloch. It’s a mountain, Blue, and my bag is heavy. How are you doing this with your arms full of blankets?”

Blue keeps heading up the path.

Anonymous asked: Marvin, I don’t think you believe that, do you? Anti has taken everything away from you. Look at what he’s done now! He’s trapped Trick- Chase- in a room for being drepressed! He’s brainwashed Jackie into becoming a guard dog, conditioned Henrik to be his servant, and raised Jameson as a child on a leash! You know this isn’t right. Can’t you remember?! You came after them, that’s why you’re here now, you came to free your brothers and got trapped!

“No!” screams Blue.

At last he stumbles like Doktor as the sand shifts beneath him and he yelps as he crumples to his knees, unable to catch himself with his arms full.

“No, that’s not true! Don’t say that, don’t you dare fucking say that! Anti’s given us everything we have! Anti’s all that keeps us safe! Anti loves us, loves Trick and Dok and Red and Dapper! He isn’t always perfect, I know, but he does what he thinks is best for us! I know that! He loves me, he has to! Otherwise, what is all of this fucking for?”

He strikes the jagged rubble of the mountainside with a scream.

And the mountain - the mountain that has become his home, his heart, his sanctuary - the mountain rumbles in return.

Blue stares down at hands that glow blue as fire, horrified. He hears people crying out farther down the mountain and sees, from the corner of his eyes, the vecinos running for cover. But no earthquake follows, no collapse - the one rumble answers him alone.

He can’t breathe. His hands glow.

“Blue.”

Warm hands fall to his shoulders with a grounding pressure and someone shakes him relentlessly, forcing him to look up. He meets Doktor’s eyes with his own shocked gaze, and he sees in his little brother’s face a familiar kind of strength - strength like Red’s, cool and unshakeable, steadfast and protective.

Doktor holds his shoulders. Blue meets his gaze.

The glowing fades.

“We don’t have time for this,” says Dok, very softly.

“I know,” whispers Blue, a tear tracing a path down his face. “I’m so sorry. Let’s go.”

Dok reaches down to help him.

And Blue, the elder, accepts his little brother’s help, and gets back to his feet.

nikkilbook asked: Someone supernatural was following the boys, and Red lagged behind to keep the others safe. Do we have permission to have Dapper rewind? And for Blue to use his power to help defend them? This guy knows about you.

“No, no, no, no blue power,” Anti mumbles, his eyes rolling a little in his skull. “That’s why… how else would someone have found us, how… no blue power, no, no….”

badlypostedmusicals asked: Guys, the man is after Anti. Once he's through with red he will go after him, and I don't think that he's strong enough to fend off an attack. Maybe one of you should go back?

“Let me check in at the house first.” Blue tries to keep his voice steady.

cest-mellow asked: dok? blue are you gonna be home soon? anti needs dok, he’s hurt.

“Here we are, here we are.” Stressed, Blue tugs open the door of the clinic they have made their home with one of the keys Anti allows him to keep. But even before he can push in to the house, Doktor is pushing past him, and dashing to the room at the end of the hall.

“Still locked!” he cries, yanking on the handle. “Master, let us in! Anti, I’m here, I’m here, little brother! It’s me, it’s okay! Trick? Trick, are you in there?”

“The eyes said Trick and Dapper weren’t in there with him,” Blue calls. “If the door is locked, they must have gotten out another way!”

He darts back out of the door and circles around the house, finding the shattered window that leads to Trick’s room - a tiny, tiny window, barely big enough to let the light in, let alone a body. But there are footprints in the dirt beneath the sill.

Blue swears and uses the new blankets to brush glass from the open window, jumping up to squeeze in as best he can. He gets a couple cuts on his hands and back, but it does not matter.

Anti is very still beside the bed, his white face dripping blood.

“Oh, oh, Anti,” gasps Blue, running to his side. “Oh, love, what were you thinking? Why didn’t you just tell us, amata?”

Anti barely stirs, his lips parting. His eyes closed.

Blue gets up to let Doktor in.

“Anti, Anti!” Doktor dissolves into German babbling, falling down at Anti’s side and pulling him into his arms, already holding his first aid kit. “It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay! I fix, I fix!”

At the sound of his voice, something stirs behind the closed door of the bathroom.

badlypostedmusicals asked: Is it one of Anti's old friends? Do you remember anything he may have told you?

“I can’t imagine Anit having any kind of old friends,” mumbles Blue, brushing hair from his torturer’s face. “He’s a little paranoid, I don’t know if you’ve noticed. I think you mean an old enemy… No, I don’t know, I don’t know who it could be. Something strange about that sigil on his arm… almost familiar, but from so long ago. Lifetimes ago.”

“You should be careful what you speak of,” warns Dok lowly, pulling Anti’s shirt off. It glitches oddly and disappears, but Anti is still wearing a shirt.

“His fucking anatomy!” Doktor shouts, slamming his hand against the ground. “He’s barely a physical being, how am I supposed to do this?”

“Just bandage him up with the shirt on or something, Dok! Give him medicine or something!”

“His body has rejected every medicine I’ve ever given him and my twin would get punished for it every time. No, no. Let me see if I can bind him up - maybe if I distract him I can get the shirt to go away? Or something? Fuck, this wound is new, but you know what this is?”

Doktor points to a soaking wound in Anti’s back. His eyes are full of tears.

“This is where Carver stabbed him. Weeks ago now. He has never once let me look at it. I have not been a good enough doctor to earn his trust.”

He hiccups through sobs, yanking gauze out of his bag. “This is all my fault. Now I don’t even know where my little brothers are. He was right - I can’t protect anyone he gives to me.”

Anonymous asked: Oh god I’m going to cry, is that Trick behind the door?

Doktor stiffens, staring at the camera, his hands frozen around the gauze.

“Dok,” warns Blue, grabbing his shoulders in mimicry of his own comfort. “Dok, stay focused. Anti needs you.”

“T-trick… behind the door? In the bathroom?”

“Dok, stay with Anti, let me check - ”

“No!” cries Dok, leaping to his feet and shoving the gauze into Blue’s hands. “No, I’ll just check real quick!”

“Deutsch, what the hell are you thinking? You’re going to get in so much fucking trouble!”

“Just wrap that around Anti’s back! I’ll be right back!”

And he practically leaps over Blue to get to the bathroom in the back of the room, his heart thudding so hard in his chest he can barely breathe. He remembers, so vividly, waking up to Dapper’s shrill, desperate whistling, finding his baby brother curled over his twin, Trickshot shaking like a riptide as his body went into shock from the overdose. He remembers being so distressed he could barely save him, working over the sound of Anti’s screaming and the feeling of his heartbeat dwindling beneath his hands. He remembers spilled pills and vomit.

“No,” he gasps, pulling open the bathroom door. “No, no, no.”

“Dok?” comes Trick’s small voice. “Is that… really you?”

He lies pale against the wall beside the shower, his face blotchy and red from crying. It makes his eyes seem brighter than ever - he stares up at Doktor like the whole of the sky is there in his gaze.

“You’re a dream,” mumbles Trick dazedly. “I… I’ve wanted to see you for so long.”

Doktor trembles above him, trying to find the strength to kneel down at his side. Tears flow down his cheeks.

“How many did you take?” he whispers, in a ghost’s voice.

The bathroom floor is littered with pills - Fanapt, Dapper’s latest prescription. Anti kept it in the drawer beside the bed.

“None,” whispers Trick in reply.

Doktor is sobbing, clutching at his chest. He crumples at his twin’s side and reaches out to hold his face between his hands, halfway to hysterical.

“How many did you take?” he screams.

“None.”

“How many, how many?”

“None. None, I swear.”

“I can’t do this again!”

“I know.”

“I can’t lose you, please, please, no!”

“It’s okay. It’s okay.”

“Tell me you didn’t do this, tell me you didn’t take any!”

“I didn’t. I didn’t.”

Doktor dissolves into tears on his shoulder, throwing himself over Trick’s body, and then, after so long, they are holding each other again.

Trick holds him so tight he could shatter for the love of it, letting Doktor press him back hard against the wall, clutching at his hair and pushing his face into his shoulder. Hot wet tears fall down on Doktor’s head.

“Don’t cry, don’t cry,” sobs Trick. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry for scaring you.”

“You really didn’t take any? You really didn’t? Swear to me, swear to me on everything you are.”

“I’ll swear to you on the only thing I’m fucking living for,” Trick cries, pressing his lips to the side of his head. “In your name, I swear, I didn’t take any, not a single one. I was going to, I wanted to. I needed this to stop. This hurts so fucking much some days I can’t do anything but scream and sleep. I needed it to stop - but then I kept seeing you crying over me, I kept hearing you calling my name. I was conscious the whole time you were saving my life, Dok, do you know that? I could hear you. I wanted to die when I took the Percocet, but I took it all back the goddamn second I heard you crying, Deutsch, Deutsch - ”

They collapse into each other’s arms again, half splayed out on the floor of that bathroom, but it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter. Nothing matters but that he’s here, he’s here, here in his arms, here in his arms, safe and alive and perfect as ever.

“I love you so much,” Doktor sobs. “I love you so fucking much.”

And Trick - Trick, there in his weakness and in his strength, Trick in his whole and in his shattered pieces - Trick looks at his brother, at his twin, at his heart, and he gives him back the word that Anti lets every twin safeguard for the other:

“I love you too, Henrik.”

And if Doktor leans in and lays his head back on his shoulder, whispering promises and assurances and affectations and a secret name of his own keeping, holding his twin so close he can feel his steady heartbeat, well, there is no one awake who is going to stop them from being, in that moment, the people they were always meant to be.

cest-mellow asked: ok, we found trick, but wheres dapper? Whydoilovesomanyvillians and pixie-in-trebleland also asked where they were and were copied here.

“Trick, do you know?”

“Oh, no… I heard him breaking the window, actually, but I was kind of… out of it. Barely registered it. Look, he tore the shower rod out to smash it in.”

Blue opens the bathroom door and grabs Dok by the collar, hauling him back to his feet.

“If you two are done re-enacting a reverse ending of Romeo and Juliet, you’ll remember that we’re in the middle of a fucking emergency! Thank you! Dok, clean Anti up. Trick, what the hell do you mean? Was he running away? Was he pyschotic, is he okay?”

“I don’t think so! He seemed fine this morning! A little twitchy, maybe, a little stuck in his own head, but you know Dap.”

“Ugh, why is it so fucking dusty in here? You have two rooms and you can’t even keep them clean. It smells like an antique shop in here.”

“I don’t smell anything, dude. Put your hands up straight and give me a complete sentence, I want to check for stroke.”

“Trickshot!”

Blue hauls him to his feet and drags him towards the door. “Since you weren’t watching, you can be the one who helps me look for him. Put your shoes on, let’s go!”

the-weirdest-fan asked: Anti, calm down. You can't go to him like this. Red's handling it fine, and if things go wrong, which is unlikely to happen, you can get Dapper to reverse. It's okay that you can't control this situation right now, because if you try to you might not be able to control anything later. So please calm yourself. Lie down. Rest.

Doktor sits down with Anti again, patching him up as best he can with steady, practiced hands.

“Dapper,” he moans, shifting in his sleep. “Dok…”

“Here I am, here I am,” murmurs Doktor, wiping blood from his face with a cool washcloth. “Listen to them, time to rest. Everything will be okay. The good doctor’s got you. Rest. You never do, my brother.”

Anonymous asked: Red, are you okay?

“Just - fucking - peachy!”

Red is a snarling, furious whirlwind of a fighter, not fast but strong, strong and sturdy and venomous, spinning his staff around in his hands like a hypnotist with something to prove. He has driven the man back, back, towards the wall, forcing him on the defensive with nothing but the small knife. The stranger leaps to the side as Red swings the staff hard at his arm, threatening to shatter bone, and darts forward a moment later to aim a stab at Red’s side. But Red knows better than anything how to spar with someone wielding a knife - he sees the oncoming blade, tracks it trajectory, and raises a foot to kick it straight out of the man’s hand.

The stranger backs away, eyes darkening.

“My baby brother still plays with dolls and he could kick your ass with both his hands behind his back,” roars Red, spinning the staff around again. “Who the fuck do you think you are, holding a knife to my throat, stalking my fucking family? I’ll kill you!”

He leaps forward staff swinging. The man raises his hand and spikes of ice explode from the ground in front of Red, making him yelp with surprise. One of them slams hard into his face and he howls, dropping his staff to clutch at his cheek. Without hesitating, the man follows up on the attack with a burst of ice in mid-air that slashes, cold, across Red’s stomach, cutting a line through his hoodie. He yells and crumples to his knees, fumbling for his staff as blood begins to leak through his hoodie.

“Don’t know how to handle clean magic, do you?” crows the stranger in a heavy accent, retrieving his knife. “Everything inside you is corrupted, I can smell it! Would it be a mercy to put you to death, Rojo?”

“Fuck you,” snarls Red, looking up with teeth gritted and blood-soaked. He grabs his staff and staggers back to his feet, his heart pumping hard in his chest.

Anonymous asked: RED CUT IT OUT for a second! Let us sort this out! El demonio que buscas. Los hemos estado apoyando lo mejor que hemos podido. Disculpe nuestro amigo aquí ... él no sabe nada mejor.

“Perhaps you are right,” pants the stranger, spinning his blade in his hand. “Perhaps he does not know any better. Su cabeza esta llena de sombras. But still I must to defend myself.”

“I wouldn’t say must,” spits Red, stalking forward again, a wild light in his eyes. “You could make this a lot easier on yourself if you let me impale you where you stand, after all.”

Anonymous asked: Red he might think you're Anti

“Anti,” breathes the stranger. “Is that your demon, prisionero?”

“Don’t say his fucking name!” Red screams, and drives forward with the staff again, swinging it hard at his head. The stranger ducks and strikes at Red’s legs, earning a bloody slash across Red’s knee but also taking a solid kick to the side. He falls back, groaning and grabbing at the raven bracelet on his arm, which begins to glow a fervent snow white.

Red strikes at him again and again and the man falls back under the onslaught. He tries to summon ice again, but Red shatters it or leaps away. He swings with his blade, but it’s like a bee-sting to Red - he knows well the cut of a blade. It’s only when Red lands a solid blow to his head that the young man is able to leap away, clutching at his skull - and when Red turns around to face him, he has disappeared again.

Red pants, his eyes flickering in every direction.

“I know you’re still there,” he growls, and he sounds so much like Anti the voice almost seems to glitch.

cest-mellow asked: red, tell the man you aren’t anti. tell him who you are!

“I am Anti,” snarls Red. “I am Anti’s. I am an extension of him. I am a weapon of his. I am a limb of his, an instrument, a belonging. Red is just a nickname. Red is just a designation. All I am is Anti’s.”

The young man re-appears again, as if from nowhere.

The hat has fallen away and you can see his face clearly now. He is perhaps twenty-five, with a head of dark curls, and enormous, beautiful black eyes. Heavy eyebrows and a nose that looks like it’s had its fair share of shatterings accent his face. His fine mouth is parted; his expression filled with a great many things - pity. Sympathy. Pain. Warmth.

“It does not have to be this way,” he calls, soft but sure. “It does not have to be like this at all. Weren’t you someone before the darkness took you, amigo? Did you not once have a name?”

Red stands staring at him, panting like a bull in an arena.

“My name,” says the man, reaching out a hand. “Is Hermann. What was yours?”

Anonymous asked: "Woah.. Hey.. Red, buddy, take a breath. Even though Anti is hurt he looks like he doesn't want to hurt the others. At least let him explain." -PF!M

“No… no, no, no. He’s dangerous! I know he is! I won’t listen to this! Stop talking! You’re wrong - there was nothing before Anti! No name, no person, nothing! Nothing that mattered, anyway!”

Old images flicker before his eyes - his brothers smiling and dressed strangely, Blue braiding long hair, a warm house with flowers growing in through the porch, a faraway darkness and a nearby love.

But he can’t seem to hold on to a single one of them. They slip way from him like sand through the hourglass. He backs away, shaking his head, blinking.

“You’re - you’re trying to hypnotize me!” he shouts, holding up the staff again. “You’re trying to get inside my head!”

Hermann backs away, shaking his head.

“You do not want to do this, prisionero. I do not want to hurt you. But if you to attack me, then we must fighting.”

Red tightens his grip on his staff.

“Guess we must.”

Anonymous asked: Red get out of there. You don't know if he has friends. Go to Anti and the others while you still can.

“No, he’s going to pay for coming after my family!”

Red shatters ice with his staff and leaps the shards, swinging a fist at Hermann’s head. Hermann draws back and then aims a kick at Red’s side and a slash at his head, forcing him to block with both hands, the one holding the staff causing Hermann to cry out in pain and retreat. Red follows up with ferocity, swinging like a baseball player with nothing to lose. He strikes Hermann once, twice, and then places his foot too quickly and tumbles to the ground as he finds ice beneath his shoes. Hermann bears down on him a second later, tackling him to the earth and covering him halfway in ice again, pressing that blade back to his throat. But Red only smiles - he got out of this once, after all, and he’ll do it again, and then wipe that sick pity off this little insect’s fucking face.

Hatred burns in his chest so raw and hot it almost makes him gag, but he gets more used to the sensation with every chore, with every mission, with every sacrifice he makes to his master. What does it matter to him now? This hatred is a part of him. This hatred is what feeds and devours him.

He wills his knee to jerk up again, to shatter the ice -

But, ah, he ought to have heeded your warning.

The steel toe of a boot connects with the side of his head, making the whole world go white for a second as he screams, dazed as warmth fills up his hair. A second blade comes down to touch his throat, and then someone is sitting on his chest, pushing him down hard into the earth and shouting at him in rapid Spanish. Through eyes half-filled with sparks, he gazes up to see two new faces joining Hermann’s, a pair of women with fury in their eyes.

A second blow connects with his head and he gasps, spinning nearly into unconsciousness. A sudden fear wraps around his heart and his fingers scrabble for his phone, Anti’s name falling, mangled by concussion, from his bleeding mouth.

“Anti, Anti, master, help me!”

nikkilbook asked: Dust—Blue, remember your own words! You said Dap’s magic smells of dust and petrichor! He’s already turned back once already!

“Oh, shit,” whispers Blue, standing in the doorway of his house, staring down at the city. “What could have gone so wrong that Dapper turned back time without even Anti’s permission?”

Anonymous asked: "N-No- Please don't- Jackie! Please, don't! Your name is Jackie! Please, listen to him, he wants to help! Don't make the same mistake I did, I'm begging you!" -PF!H

“My name is Red,” he croaks, clinging woozily to consciousness. “My name is… Anti…”

He feels his body hauled out of the ice and thrown onto the hard gravel of the alley, scraping his face and rose-scarred calves. Hermann and his friends are babbling above him.

“Este hombre está demasiado loco para encarcelar.”

“Deberíamos sacarlo de su miseria. Mira lo miserable que es.“

“No puedo matar a un hombre inocente!”

“El no es inocente. El pertenece a la oscuridad!”

“Enough, enough!” calls the oldest of the three, a woman with shining black hair and enough make-up to make her aging face look entirely flawless. “Stop scaring him! Look how he shakes. He’s beat. We take him back. Genesis, bind up his hands. El no es un mago.”

Red gasps as ruthless hands bind his wrists tightly in thick twine and someone grabs him roughly by the back of his throat, dragging him to his feet. Tears prick in his eyes and he screams, trying to find the strength to struggle. Blood is dripping down the side of his face.

Anonymous asked: Red, they won't kill you. At least not yet. Sit tight, get your strength back. (Maybe something else, too, if you dig deep enough, who knows) Watch. Listen. Find out what you can. We can help you piece together some Spanish if need be. I'm running off of college-level Spanish that I failed twice and have been out of for two years; it's not much but I'm trying for you, okay?

Red bursts into frantic giggles, his eyes fixed wildly on you. He swallows hard, beginning to shake, grimacing at the sensation of rope and fear and flesh pressed to his own. Horrible, horrible, horrible.

“I’m not great at languages either,” he wheezes, trying to straighten up in Genesis’ grip. “Thank you.”

He closes his eyes as her grip only tightens. Horrible, horrible, horrible.

“Will you please - ” He stammers as back as Trick in his fear - “Will you please tell my twin and my brothers that I love - I love - I love them v-very much, and I want them to have a merry Christmas without me, and I’m so - I’m so sorry I didn’t bring everybody’s presents home. I failed them, I’m sorry, I love them, I love them. Blue, I love you.”

Anonymous asked: Hermann (and friends), I don’t know if you’re reading this but, you have to get out of there with Jackie/Red. Anti and the others will be looking for him soon and they aren’t going to be nice about it. Get him somewhere safe ASAP and lay low, the rest will be harder to free when they’re like this.

“Look, he has this little camera with the messages on it… see, someone speaks to him.”

“El demonio.”

“No, see, they warn us.”

“Don’t play with it, Hermann, it’s probably cursed or something. Vamonos. We will take him back for now. If he cannot be convinced or freed… well, we do what we have to do, yes?”

“They say someone will come looking for him.”

“No one is going to catch us right now. After all, the - what was that?”

A rock clatters off a garbage can and lands on the street beside them.

Hermann, Genesis, and the older woman exchange glances.

And then Anti’s little pet is upon them.

Carver has never worn his name better - not cutting up bodies to hide them for Anti, not tearing apart flesh to get answers to Anti’s questions out of prisoners, not flying into battle at his brother’s side. No, Carver has always had the greatest ferocity when set loose from his chain and given a body to protect.

Anti taught him to fight fucking dirty, unpredictable, and he lashes out wildly with his teeth bared. Red was the one who taught him speed and a deadly unconcern for pain - he needed it to combat his older brother’s strength. And his own power sits inside his hands, the most cutting weapon of them all, because no matter how strong or cruel or intelligent the enemy, Anti’s youngest puppet has one advantage no one else has ever beaten him at:

He’s already fought this fight once before.

He dodges a blow from Genesis before she’s even thrown it, grabs her by her short hair, and yanks her away from her allies, kicking her in a weak spot he discovered the first time around - the inside of her right knees. She crumples with a yell and he avenges the blows she gave to his brother’s head by driving his foot into her face, shattering the nose in a spray of blood. The older woman gives a cry and pushes a hand out towards him, casting him in an impossibly bright light, but, with his eyes closed, he still remembers where she was the first time they fought, and he throws a knife blind. She screams as it tears through her arm badly, forcing her to stagger back and clutch at the swiftly-bleeding wound. And the tricky invisible boy - you could tell Carver his name is Hermann, but he would not care even if he listened - oh, yes, Carver remembers where he stands.

For a moment, Dapper is still, letting him think he’s escaped him, letting him think he cannot be seen. His eyes glow a fervent silver. Looking at them is like looking at an over-full moon.

He whirls around and slams a knife into the air.

Hermann re-appears with a scream, grabbing at the dagger buried in his stomach. Genesis cries his name, hauling herself to her feet, but Carver ignores her, savoring, for a moment, his victory. Hermann stares up at his silver eyes with the infinite black of his own, something hateful and angry and cold building in the gaze between them.

“You, then,” he whispers, gritting his teeth as blood wells up on his tongue. “You, then, are the demon.”

Carver does not smile or frown. His eyes are cool. His pockets are full of finger puppets.

Genesis grabs Hermann’s arm and then the two are gone with a sudden gust of wind, not invisible now, but transported. Carver does not care,so long as they do not get away with Red this time. He steps over his brother’s body, curled in on itself on the ground, and stalks towards the older woman, his mouth curving up in a snarl.

“You back off,” she shouts, pulling what looks like a hatchet out of her backpack and hefting it in her good arm. Ah, damn. Carver should have remembered to cut the left arm instead of the right. But he will still beat her.

She swings in a one-two-three pattern and he dodges almost without looking, slipping behind her to grab her by that long, beautiful hair and yank her back painfully hard. She cries out in fury and drives the hatchet back at him - tricky, that one almost caught him! He giggles and backs away, his face twitching.

Genesis re-appears and grabs her friend. Carver does not move to stop them when they disappear. As long as they are gone, and Red remains.

He can always finish them off when his master commands him.

For a long time, Carver only stands there, staring at the spot where the women had been. Eventually, you watch his shoulders sink, and his gaze slacken, and a sort of confusion, a sort of numbness, return to his blood-freckled face.

“Red?” ask his hands. He frowns down at his brother. “Why are you crying?”

Red hides his face in his bound hands, trying to stop the tears from coursing down his cheeks.

Dapper kneels down beside him and puts a careful hand on the fabric of his hoodie, his face falling with sympathy.

“You were scared?”

He cuts Red’s hands free.

“Didn’t you know I’d come save you like I always do?”

Sobbing, Red reaches up to clutch at his little brother’s sleeves, drawing Dapper down to his chest, and Dapper goes obediently, lying his head down like a tired little kid resting on his brother’s body.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Red cries, rubbing his back. “I’m sorry you had to come save me, I’m sorry I was stupid, I’m sorry I made you fight when you’re hurting, I’m sorry I haven’t been a better brother to you, I’m sorry…”

Dapper doesn’t bother trying to quiet him. He lays there with his head on Red’s chest, and he lets his brother cry.

“Everything’s okay now, Red. Everything’s okay.”

bupine asked: RED HOLY SHIT KICK HIS ASS GET OUT OF THERE GOOO

Dapper giggles a little, pressing his forehead against Red’s chest. “Is that what you tried to do?”

“Y-yes, I should have been able to take him…”

“He surprised you. He was full of magic. It doesn’t matter now. We know about them, don’t we? So that’s helpful. Not a complete loss.”

He gets up and reaches down to help Red, who grimaces as he is drawn to his feet. His stomach is bleeding frighteningly heavy now, and he can’t seem to see straight no matter how hard he focuses. He thinks he might vomit.

Dapper uses the crisp white sleeve of his dress shirt to wipe blood from Red’s face. Teary-eyed, Red bows his head and allows it.

“There we go,” murmurs Dapper. His right cheek tightens and un-tightens, tightens and un-tightens.

“Dap? Why are you twitching like that?”

Dapper gives a little irritated whimper and rubs at his face. “Can’t make it stop.”

“Took your medicine this morning?”

“Took what Anti gave me.”

“Are you okay?”

“… Don’t know. Never happened before.”

Red sighs and tries to stand steady, brushing Dapper away when he reaches out to help. “We better get you home.”

Dapper gives a small, chirruping whistle.

Anonymous asked: Blue and Trick: Dapper is with Red! They're both a little shaken; Red is bloody but he'll be okay once he's bandaged up, I think. Dapper seems to be experiencing side effects. I'm not sure if you want to meet up with them or trust that they'll make it back in their own, but either way, the danger seems to be past for now.

“Oh,” breathes Blue, sinking to his knees right there on the mountainside, grabbing at his heart. “Ohhhhh.”

Trick whoops and claps his hands together, his face brighter than you’ve seen it in days and soaking in the sun. “Let’s go meet them! I could use some time out of that little room! It’s gorgeous out here, wow! Look at that view!”

He leaps up on a big rock and stares out at the ocean, a big smile on his face. “I bet Dapper and Red kicked ass today! And now they’re coming home, and tomorrow we get Christmas all together, and Doktor’s going to patch up Anti and Red, and everything’s going to be okay!”

Blue is still there on his knees behind him, staring up at him. There is something in his eyes - love, joy, warmth, gratitude.

It’s nice to see him happy again, even if he knows it can’t last forever. It’s good to see his spirits rising.

“Come on,” says Blue fondly, reaching out to take Trick’s hand. Trick, oscillating between desperately touch-starved and completely invaded for far too long, jerks back in surprise for only a moment before wrapping his fingers around Blue’s and turning to smile at him. “Let’s go get our brothers.”

cest-mellow asked: dapper? jameson? where’d you go?

“Oh, it was easy,” explains Dapper as they walk, going slow for Red’s sake. “I got the call from Red’s phone because Anti was sleeping and I thought he seemed like he was in trouble, so I decided to go to him. I knew Anti would give me permission to save him if it was a real emergency. Especially as I have been a very good boy for the last three days.”

He straightens up proudly, clutching at the back of Red’s hoodie as he walks.

“I felt well enough to make it down the mountainside and I followed the GPS on Anti’s phone.” Dapper pulls it out of his pocket, a sleek little black phone with a lot of weird apps downloaded and no screensaver or background. “Found Red a little too late, though. He was already bound up and stuff, so I didn’t have his help. I lost the first time I fought - or I killed the old lady, anyway, but the girl took Red away. And I knew Anti wouldn’t like that. So, snap!”

Dapper snaps his fingers and makes Red jump, his face a little haggard and quite white.

“I turned back and tried again knowing how they would fight. Or something within me knew how they would fight. Blood is just blood, you know? And it’s always flowing and flowing.”

He begins whistling a little, his twitching face interrupting his song, and Red looks back at him with concern in his eyes.

“Little man, are you sure you took your medicine?”

“Took what Anti gave me, sir.”

Red sighs and reaches back to pull him under his arm. Dapper simpers pettishly and lies his head against his chest, beaming up at him.

They make their way back to the mountain, slow, slow, and it would just about kill Red to have to walk the whole way up, but luckily Blue and Trick spot them from the top and race down to meet them and help Red.

If Blue is a little disconcerted by the change in Dapper’s behavior that has taken place over the last three days, he chooses to make no comment, only scoops his little brother into a hug and praises him for saving Red the whole way up the mountain.

Anonymous asked: Doktor this is not your fault. You are not a failure. You can save Anti, just like you’ve saved everyone else. You’ve protected Dapper, directed both Blue and Trick onto the right path. Mistakes come and go and you should not be ashamed of them. They help us grow. Sadly, you cannot save everyone but if you focus on that then you will never save anyone. Trust in your abilities and judgment, Dok, because we do. You’ve got this.

You find Dok sitting beside Anti’s bed, his face blank.

Beneath the covers, Anti is very still. He breathes steady, pale but alive, wrapped up in bandages. Dok’s even managed to get him shirtless. He hopes it helps, but, with Anti, it’s difficult to say.

“I think he’ll be okay,” he whispers.

He’s staring down at his hands.

Curling and uncurling.

“I can save Anti,” he whispers to himself, trying, deliberately, to internalize your message. “I’m not a failure.”

He sits alone for a long time, holding his knees to his chest, looking tired.

But then the door opens, and chattering comes with it, and the stomping of feet, and a smile lights up slowly on his face again.

His family. His friends. His brothers. His twin.

Returned.

Beaming, Doktor gets to his feet, and goes to help his family.

badlypostedmusicals asked: Boys who are still functional, why don't you try and make the house a little more secure and bring all of your blankets to anti's room so you can be together

“To Anti’s room?” whispers Blue, eyes wide. “I’m not so sure he’d like that… Better to let sleeping dogs lie, you know. But I am going to grab those blankets!”

Anonymous asked: Yeah, I’m crying, oh lord.

It was, after all, quite a day.

Red cries for how gently Doktor patches him up and how warmly Blue holds his hand through it. It’s late afternoon, but Doktor prescribes a good long sleep before they try any processing, and Red, exhausted, agrees. He and Blue lie down under a big, fuzzy, purple blanket, their limbs tangled up and their heads close together, and they wish each other a merry Christmas eve in grateful whispers before going to bed at four in the morning.

Trick and Doktor are drawn back to each other like magnets, and they hug for so long Trick nearly drifts off against his shoulder, which makes them both laugh and dissolve into enthusiastic teasing. You watch Doktor’s energy spike higher than you’ve seen it in days, and soon the two of them have borrowed Blue’s new cards to play a passionate game of whispered BS with Dapper in their room, giggling the whole time and calling each other for every bluff. That night, Dapper retreats back to Anti’s room, but Trick elects to stay with Dok, not caring, for once, what Anti would say. They light his candles together. Doktor whispers his blessings with tears running down his face and Trick buried against his chest, and then they curl up beneath their window, and, like they always used to, they watch until the sun goes down.

And if Dapper cries a little too, as the adrenaline of the fight leaves him, replaced by a cold and growing horror as he remembers blood beneath Carver’s hands and the weight of the knife clutched between his fingers, well… he has Anti to snuggle up with, doesn’t he? There’s nothing else he needs. Everyone else has a twin, and him? He has Anti.

He stares around the room and realizes that soon, he will once again be trapped.

His face twitches.

Anonymous asked: It's a Christmas miracle! You're all together again and that's what matters! Fix each other up and get some sleep before tomorrow comes, okay? Merry Christmas, boys!! And a happy Hanukkah to you, Dok!

“It is kind of a miracle, huh?” murmurs Dok, staring up at the ceiling.

Trick is fast asleep beside him. He looks well. His body’s warm.

“I think we always feel like the oil’s going to run out,” Doktor continues softly, holding him. “Like that’s it, that’s all. This is the last of it. And once it’s gone, we’re done for.

But then… you have miracles.”

He pulls Trick closer to his chest, sighing warmly.

Content on Christmas Eve, on the third day of Hanukkah.

“And the oil does not run out. The enemy does not win like you thought he would. You keep fighting and you light your candles and you hold your head up and trust in things greater than yourself, and they sustain you when you thought you couldn’t keep going, not for another day, not for another moment.”

Doktor closes his eyes. The smile on his mouth is warm as the flame of his candles.

“You have your lights in the darkness,” he whispers, dozing off. “You have enough oil after all.”

End Section Four of Chapter Two.

Find the next section here.

#chapter two #lights in the darkness #this one a little longer whoops lol #if you're having trouble reblogging might have to reblog from someone else?#not sure why it's having problems

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my-brothers-corrupted · 5 years ago

Text

My Brothers, Corrupted

Chapter 1 : Section 4 : Pharmacy Break-In

Trick, Dok, and Dapper were let out of the house with money and a modicum of freedom for once. Now well-supplied – except for one vital need – they returned home only to find that, during their day of happiness, Jackie and Marvin have been “reset” by Anti. Their memories gone and their attachment strengthened, the oldest twins struggle to come to terms with themselves, their brothers, and their master, but they’ll have to do it quick – another day, another crisis on the horizon, and Dok is in danger.

Trigger warnings: hypnotism, major abuse, torture, trauma reactions, breaking and entering, and mentions of psychosis.

Find this chapter’s masterlist here.

Part Four of Chapter One: Pharmacy Break-In

musical-in-theory asked: Mar- *sigh* Blue? Can you hear us?

Blue peers over Red’s shoulder, blinking. His face has begun to go more yellow than white and he holds himself like he’s in pain, sheltered behind Red’s body. “I can hear you,” he says. “Who’s talking?”

“I think they just talk,” mumbles Red.

They give you twin looks of distrust.

Anonymous asked: Trick, Dok, Dapper? You boys might want to hurry on home...

“We should have,” mumbles Doktor, backing slightly towards the door. “We should have, we should have.”

“Dok,” whispers Trick, gripping at his shoulder. “Let’s stay calm, man, let’s stay calm. No close-offs tonight.”

Doktor wrings his hands together, cursing the tears in his eyes. “Red?” he calls, shakily. “Do you know who I am?”

He already knows the answer.

Red stares at him skeptically. “Anti said Doktor,” he answers.

“But don’t you know - ” Doktor chokes on a sob, refusing to let Trick draw him towards the nest. “Don’t you know who I am?”

Red opens his mouth and then closes it again.

“Sorry,” he manages finally.

Doktor screams, slamming his fist against the door. Trick begs him to be quiet, grabbing his shoulder and pulling him close. “It’s going to be okay, it’s going to be okay, don’t bother Anti, please don’t bother Anti, we’re okay, we’re okay…”

Anonymous asked: Is blue gonna be okay? Poor boy doesn't look like he's feeling too good

Blue’s swaying slightly in place, pressed against Red’s shoulder. “You know,” he mumbles, swallowing back nausea. “I think I want to sit down.”

Red turns to hold him.

“Your bed is over there,” mumbles Trick, avoiding their eyes. “You should probably… take it easy.”

He half expects Red to snap at him for suggesting anything at all to him, but Red seems to have lost his interest in him along with his memory. Trick doesn’t know why this puts a hard lump in his throat. It’s better if Red ignores him. It’s better if Red doesn’t remember him. Isn’t it?

That’s my brother, says some part of his mind, with grief. That was my brother.

And Trick, turning away, tells that part of his brain to shut the fuck up.

Anonymous asked: Hoodie? How're you feeling?

Red leads Blue around the island to their sleeping bags - there are two of them now, not that Red sees the difference - and they crash to the ground side by side, sitting with their hands close together on the floor, trying to process.

“I feel pretty sick,” he mumbles, staring down at his hands. “My head really, really hurts. And my wrists…”

You see that they are rubbed raw. He must have been chained up. “I don’t remember… anything,” he whispers. “Just Anti… and Blue. And - and - and nothing, just… fragments… dreams… I don’t know how this could have happened… I think we need to go to the hospital…”

He touches his head, groaning.

Anonymous asked: Red, your heads unwrapped. Did your injury reopen? Where does the dye end and the blood begin?

“Oh, fuck, his head’s open?” Trick stares over at the island. “Dok, you gotta go check on him.”

Doktor is biting back bitter tears, hidden against Trick’s shoulder, clinging to his jacket. “I don’t want to see him like this,” he sobs. “I don’t want him to have forgotten me.”

“Fuck, buddy, he just - he just - he won’t be so different, okay? Anti must have just - Anti must have had his reasons.”

“What if he didn’t, though?” sobs Deutsch. “What if he didn’t, what if he just did that to him? What if he just does that to us, someday? What if we all forget each other? What if we already have forgotten, forgotten important things, forgotten who we were?”

“Dok,” snarls Trick. He grabs his shoulders tightly, fear lacing his trembling voice. “Don’t you say shit like that. Don’t you dare say shit like that. You’re going to get yourself killed.”

Doktor whimpers, tears cascading down his cheeks. “I don’t - I don’t want to be - I don’t want to be mindless - I don’t want to forget - ”

“Enough,” Trick demands, shaking him. He knows he’s being harsh and it doesn’t fucking matter. What matters is getting him to stop fucking talking. Because if he doesn’t, they’re going to get beat to shit. And Trick isn’t watching him go through that again. Not a chance in hell. He’s seen Doktor dying too many times in his life. He’s seen Doktor weak and suffering too many times. And he’s learned his lesson - you shut the fuck up, you shut your twin up, and you don’t get hurt.

No matter what else you have to sacrifice.

“Enough, no more. Stop crying. Now, Dok. Go, go over there and look at Red and Blue.”

“Trickshot - ”

“Don’t argue with me. What’s the rule? When one of us is upset, the other one…”

“Does what he’s told,” chokes Dok, trying to swallow back tears.

“Right. Right.” Trick wipes at his nose and sniffs, trying to stay calm himself. “Good man. Go on, then. Go patch them up before Anti gets mad. Now, Dok.”

Anonymous asked:

Blue... Are you bleeding? Two other anons had similar questions added.

They’re injured.

They’re bleeding.

Doktor sees it as soon as he rounds the corner, finding the two of them sitting on either side of the island, but no longer looking at each other like they did the day before - looking now with a strange sort of intensity, a confused tension hovering in the air between them. He sees, vividly, an early memory of him and Trick - sitting across from each other in a jail cell, trying not to stare at each other, wondering, Who the hell are you and why do I feel like I love you so much?

Anti never resets without leaving something behind. And sometimes, when your brain is blank and you’re exhausted, he leaves behind things that weren’t there before.

Doktor doesn’t remember much of the person he used to be.

But he knows that that person is different from who he is now.

He’s fairly sure that person was… kinder than who he is now.

Pain burns in his chest. He swallows it back like a pill. Take twice a day without food. Without water. Just take it. You don’t have any other choice. Swallow the pill or choke on it.

“You look like you need a doctor,” he manages, trying not to look as miserable as he feels.

Red turns to look at him, paranoia written all over his angry face. Always so angry. The memory of pain can be washed away, but it still leaves its scar behind, and Red has always met blood with fury. The reset is like pulling pushpins out of a bulletin boards. The markers are all gone now, but the marks remain.

“Are you one?” Red asks, a little sharply.

Doktor sighs. He’s about to reach the end of his rope. “Asshole, did you miss the part where Anti told you my goddamn name?”

“Fine, fuck!” snaps Red, unloosening a little. “Pretty sarcastic for someone who’s supposed to do what I say.”

“Tell me to shut the fuck up,” says Doktor coolly. “And I will.”

Red lapses into silence.

Doktor begins by examining him, running his hands carefully through his hair while Red squirms uncomfortably. “Why was it dyed today?” he asks.

Dok tries to be sensitive of just how agonizingly lost he must feel. “I don’t know,” he says softly.

“It just doesn’t make sense. I hit my head and decide to dye my hair?”

He doesn’t like it when Anti lies, so he doesn’t say anything at all.

He wraps Red’s head back up carefully, washing clean the little stripe of dye above his fracture, which must be stinging awfully. He hopes he isn’t punished for washing it out.

Blue scoots steadily closer to them the whole time he is working.

“Anywhere else you have pain?” asks Dok softly, drawing away from Red.

“My head hurts,” he admits. The admission itself may as well be a cry of agony from Red.

“I’ll give you both something for that,” says Dok.

He’s just going to knock them the fuck out with some sleeping stuff. They don’t deserve to live through a night of exhausted confusion.

“How you are feeling, Blue?” he asks, turning to the other twin.

Not well.

Blue has gone very, very pale, the area around his eyes mostly yellow. He breathes a little too fast, reacts a little too slowly. His cuts are open. His cuts are weeping, weeping, weeping.

“Can I please have something for the pain?” he whispers, sinking down against the cupboards.

Red reaches out to grab him as he collapses, startled by the ferocity of protectiveness that rises inside him like magma. He barely remembers who this person is, but he must have fucking adored him. Oh, the poor cuts covering his aching body, the poor blood and bruises…

He gives up on trying to look tough and buries his face against Blue’s chest, sobbing.

Doktor cleans them up in silence. Restitches cuts from being tortured. Splints the aching bones from being thrown down the stairs. Washes everything clean.

They don’t even remember how they were injured.

But Doktor does.

Doktor remembers.

Doktor is angry.

He watches them swallow their pills.

He decides to take one himself, too, and returns to his nest, to his little corner of his safety, to his little brother, the only thing that ever seems to stay the same.

“Are you okay?” asks Trick, without words.

And Doktor, turning away, does not answer.

spicydanhowell asked: dok he's not gonna do it again. all five of you are here now, no more changes, he just wanted red to have a clean slate with his twin so theyd be close like you and trick. i promise he'll remember you, please go take care of him

“Thanks,” mumbles Doktor, flat-voiced, staring straight ahead out the window. Trick’s hand rubs the low of his back, a warm, reassuring weight on his spine. “I hope you’re right.”

Anonymous asked: blue... are you okay? is red ok?

Blue and Red lie beside each other in the darkness.

“Are you?” murmurs Red. “Okay?”

“Are we?” asks Blue, his voice faint.

Red stares at him like he can’t take his eyes away.

He doesn’t know what’s happening to him. He doesn’t know what’s going on. He doesn’t remember who he is or who this person is - all he knows is that he loves him, and he loves Anti, and they’re together.

So that… that will have to be enough right now. He’s too tired for anything else.

“I’m okay if you’re okay,” he whispers.

Blue stares back at him. His eyes are oceans.

“Then I’m okay,” he says.

And tonight, when he reaches out, just gentle, and grips Red’s hand -

Red squeezes his hand back, and smiles very softly at him.

At his twin. At his brother. At his friend. At his Blue.

“Get some sleep,” he whispers.

Blue is already there.

Anonymous asked: Anti, I don’t think erasing Red’s memory was such a smart plan. Why take that kind of risk?

“What risk?” yawns Anti, pulling Dapper’s coat off him and pushing him towards the bed. “Here’s the wonderful thing about my brand of hypnotism, darling - it sticks. I’m very careful with my power. Very careful with my resets. Wash this away, leave this behind, take that out, put this in… The surface is gone, but the substance remains. He’s still my Red.”

He pauses beside the bed, staring out the window for a second.

“And I’ll have to be careful,” he murmurs, anger making his mouth curl. “That there is nothing left of your Marvin.”

Anonymous asked: You’re actually wrong. No matter how many ‘resets’ you do, their love for one another still seems to hold strong.

“Only when I want it to,” answers Anti. He is shaking slightly and he hides his trembling hands from you. “Or haven’t you noticed that there is no love at all left between anyone but my twins? Trickshot and Red hate Dapper, Dapper wants no one but me, Red slaps Doktor and Trick around more than I do, Blue will learn to do the same soon enough - no, all’s well. All’s well. I’m in control. I’m the one in control now. I’m the one who makes the characters. They’re mine, they’re mine.”

He hisses and turns away from you, his face glitching.

Anonymous asked: That’s it Anti I think I have enough spite in me to astral project through the screen and at least get one good hit on you. I’m not strong but MAN AM I MAD

Anti laughs, shaking slightly as he crawls into bed beside Dapper. “That’s how I know it was a good day’s work!

“Not strong but mad,” he giggles. “You’re like this kid here, huh?”

He pinches Dapper’s cheek hard. Dapper flinches but doesn’t respond, staring dully up at the ceiling. Anti kisses his cheek. Anti kisses his throat. Anti bites his ear. Dapper whimpers and covers his face with his hands. Anti bursts into laughter, drawing him to his chest. “Give me a kiss!” he laughs. “Give me a kiss, come on.”

Dapper turns on his side and kisses his brother’s cheek without emotion on his face. It stings his mouth.

“Good boy,” purrs Anti, wrapping his arms around him. His face is sallow with exhaustion, he leans his head down heavily on Dapper’s shoulder. Safe on Dapper’s shoulder. Nothing can hurt me, nothing can hurt me, nothing can hurt me.

“You are okay?” asks Dapper, with a slight flicker of concern. “Anti?”

But Anti is already unconscious.

Most of Dapper’s discomfort washes away. He whimpers and snuggles closer to his brother, hugging him in return, rubbing his back, even if it does hurt to touch him. He presses the reassuring weight of his clock against Anti’s chest, readjusting his brother on the pillows, and curls against his body, letting out a deep sigh.

It was a good day. But it’s time to put it behind him and go back to the way he always lives. There’s no point in anything but duty, after all. There’s no point in the past or the future. All he knows is that he is on the night watch now, and nothing - nothing, nothing - will harm his brother as he sleeps.

cest-mellow asked: hey dapper? are you feeling alright up there?

Dapper stares at you, wrapped up in Anti’s arms. He looks exhausted, but he’s a patient kid.

“Doing okay,” he signs slowly, refusing to disturb his brother. “Should stop expecting anything. Should have known he only let me go so he could reset M… Blue.”

Anonymous asked: Dapper, do you know exactly what Anti may have done to Red and Blue? What they went through, I mean?

“Happens often,” says Dapper, his eyes darkening wearily. “Reset. Some things go, some things stay. First day is worst.”

He stares down at Anti for a moment, ensuring that he is asleep, and then up at you.

“Don’t tell Anti,” whispers his hands. “But sometimes, in the days that follow the reset… some things can be recovered, before they are lost forever.”

cest-mellow asked: do you know how we would recover them? just.. hypothetically?

Dapper stares at the floor.

“No,” he says. “Someone tried, once… but it wasn’t enough to save me.”

Anonymous asked: that’s good news!! but how can we get those memories back without anti knowing?

“I think it’s more about the substance of a man,” says Dapper vaguely. He’s untangling himself from Anti a little, setting his brother gently back against the pillows, stroking his fingers through his short green hair. “I wouldn’t know. I can never even find myself, these days. As far as ‘day’ has any meaning. As far as anything has any meaning.”

Anonymous asked: Regardless of memory or time or blood or how it all comes together or crashes down around you... It all has meaning, Jameson. YOU have meaning. I promise you that.

Carver starts and looks up at you, mouth slightly open. He tries to find a response, but his hands are empty and his chest is full.

Until anger comes crashing down on him.

“You’re wrong,” he signs bitterly, drawing his knees to his chest. “I give meaning to other people, but me? No. No. Just… a clock, wound up and changed to fit the time someone else asks for.

“Crashes down around me, crashes down around me… the world crashed down on me a long time ago, or maybe it was only yesterday, and I am the last working piece of the rubble.”

He scratches dully at his wounded head, rocking himself gently, gently.

“And barely working, at that.”

Anonymous asked: Maybe this is convoluted and unfair to ask of you considering that you're the one that CAN answer but... between resetting someone's mind and resetting a time frame, which strikes you as worse?

Dapper pales in the evening light, his hands stammering slightly as he tries to find the right words to answer you. “Well - well - no harm to a time reset,” he cries, distraught. “Is there? I didn’t do anything bad, did I? No harm, no harm - I can know what comes but - I wouldn’t take your autonomy. It’s just - a day! Just an hour! Just…”

He sits back against the headboard, chewing on the nail of his thumb, distressed.

“Then again, there are nice parts to resetting your head… to make the pain fade away into the background…”

He breathes out deep.

“To free the person you were from the sin of the man you’ve become… To be Carver, not… J… to forget what used to make you happy, so you can stop hoping for it, and live misery more peacefully…”

Dapper stares out the window. The northern lights are breathing through the sky, and he quiets, watching them, forgetting what he was talking about.

“And then Anti loves you better,” he adds softly, his hand on his brother’s head. “So… what else matters?”

florenceisfalling asked: is anti still asleep? dapper, do you think you could help... salvage?

Dapper grins a little strangely and points at the rope still lying on the floor, a snake sleeping but not dead. He is unlikely to venture downstairs without permission. He winces slightly and closes his eyes, rubbing at his throat.

cest-mellow asked: is it real love though, jamie? why would someone hurt you if they love you, even if you did something bad, or if you simply didn’t do a thing. why would somebody who loves you hurt you the way anti does? i’m not trying to make you upset. maybe this is something someone else needs to hear, downstairs. but i think you need to hear it too.

“What would you have me do?” asks Dapper distantly. “Even if I left Anti, could I flee my own violence? There’s nothing left for me without him.”

A sudden energy rises in him, powerful enough that you hear him choke, once, twice, as he rides it through, and then he sits up, and his eyes are not silver but blue, blue, blue.

“Do you see that who I was is destroyed and who I am is Anti’s, and if I am not Anti’s then I am no one’s and nothing, and would swiftly kill myself in his absence, as he has always told me I should do if he were to die? Do you understand that I cannot without justification bear the weight of the things I have done? Is it real love? Broken things can love truly! But not well, not well, badly, even - yet a second broken thing expects nothing better than a shattered handful of affection to keep him alive every other night. Where would you have me go? What would you have me do? I can’t pull myself out of these chains. I can’t remember except on the nights when I can and I can’t bring the people I’ve forgotten to remember along with me. Do you understand that only my family could save me, and my family is fucking dead and gone?”

He slumps down beside Anti, covering his face with his hands.

“No, you don’t understand… neither do I… I don’t understand anything anymore… please, tonight is not a confused night, though I wish it were not, as these are the most painful nights to survive, because I am more aware than ever of just how much goddamn pain I’m in - and just how truly I can never, ever be free of it. Just how truly I can never, ever, be Jameson Jackson again.”

There is a long pause. He breathes harshly in the darkness, hiding beside his brother’s body.

Until, finally:

“Anti is someone I could run from,” he admits, very softly.

“But Carver?”

He breathes. The sky breathes. Time breathes in and through and with him. And none of it, none of it, none of it - none of it means anything to him anymore.

“Carver I will never be free of.”

He wishes Anti had reset his memory again. Perhaps the fifth time would work better than the first four.

“Carver I will never, ever, ever be free of.”

Anonymous asked: You have meaning. You're more than a clock. You CREATE, J. You make ART. Those are your thoughts and feelings brought to life. And even if your artwork never makes it it of that room, it's still there and it's yours. You don't need to make them and yet you do. That's a choice and you make it for yourself and that means everything.

Dapper bites down hard at his lip, teary-eyed, a protest rising and dying on his hands, and then something different registers with him, and he blinks, and sits up straight, his eyes widening -

“I,” he stammers, his face losing all color.

He clutches at his heart, trying to breathe, tears sliding down his cheeks.

“I forgot to grab my art things… I forgot to grab my chalk and paper.”

cest-mellow asked: can i ask you.. was carver someone in you before anti made you dapper? or did he only become someone after all this?

Dapper gives a soft, breathy moan, clutching at his heart. “Don’t remember… just remember… knife, blood, crying, asleep. Stolen, killed. Red.”

Anonymous asked: I imagine you don't mean red the color. Y'know. All things considered.

Dapper stares at the floor. “The color was the only thing it meant, back then… we never - ”

A hand jolts up to grab him by the throat.

Carver slams his skull back against the headboard, giving a desperate gasping scream. His hands fly up to scrabble at the fingers around his neck, but Anti is holding him tight, glaring up at him, bored and irritated, from the mattress of their bed.

“Anti,” Carver begs, writhing. “Sorry, sorry, sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up - didn’t mean to be loud, move too much - didn’t - please, please, please - ”

Picking at the nails of his free hand, Anti gives no answer but a low, impatient sigh, waiting til Carver’s spasms are reduced to desperate gasping, and then to a slight tremble, and then, at last, an unconscious body in his hand, sinking down into the mattress, its owner’s mouth slightly blue…

Anti drops Carver onto the bed, shoving him onto his back. With all the air of an artist re-arranging a sketch figure, he pushes Carver into a position that’s comfortable for him and lies back down on the boy’s warm chest, wrapping his arms around his waist and falling back into a deep, cozy, and undisturbed sleep.

nikkilbook asked: Red’s wrists are raw? But... didn’t he have a dog bite wound there? And... what do Blue’s wrists look like?

Red stares sleepily up at you, morning light casting gold over his red and brown hair. He reaches up stiffly to stare at his wrist, licking his dry mouth.

“Dog bite, is that what that is?” he mumbles, looking at the bandages. He turns to Blue and picks up his hands as he sleeps, examining the splint on his brother’s wrist. “His is broken… and both of us have these… chain burns…”

He shakes his head, confused. “I don’t remember how we got them…”

Anonymous asked: Why do you feel the need to constantly remind yourself that they’re all ‘yours?’ Dont you understand that the hatred they feel is only making them more miserable? Your so called ‘characters’ are feeling nothing but pain, and misery. Characters are meant to grow and learn and be satisfied in the end. Any good ‘creator/writer’ should know that, but I guess you really aren’t one after all

Anti filters dully through messages, dozing against Dapper’s arm, but at this he jerks up, venomous, glaring at the camera.

“Shut the hell up,” he snarls, dragging Dapper closer to him. “You think I care about any of them? You think I care about anyone? I don’t need anyone. I don’t need anything! Shut the hell up! Maybe they could find some satisfaction if they would goddamn do what they’re told! Useless little things, useless, useless, useless…”

He snarls and shakes, sinking suddenly back down towards the bed, a low gasp falling from his mouth. His skin is translucent and his hand grips Dapper’s shirt tightly.

Dapper whines in his sleep and turns over, cuddling up closer to Anti’s chest. Anti softens, humming, playing with his hair. “Mostly, anyway…”

cest-mellow asked: anti, do you actually love your brothers? part of me feels like you do but the other part... i don’t know.

Anti looks up, eyes narrowed.

Eventually he turns back to Dapper.

“What does it matter?” he says finally, without emotion.

“No one knows what I am,” he adds a moment later. “No one… no one knows what I am. Do natureless things have a telos? Can an endless thing have a need for love? Is there love without a telos?”

He sighs and puts his head back down on his pillow, looking sick and human.

“I need to stop downloading philosophy right before bed.”

Anonymous asked: Functionality, uselessness, so many different standards... that is one frankly unhealthy fixation of yours, and it makes me wonder if you’re projecting just a little of your own fear onto them. Because being useless is being weak, right? And you can’t have that from yourself. Anybody else but you.

Anti jumps out of bed, heading for the camera, but before he gets there you see him stagger back, falling against the mattress again. “Everyone is weak compared to me!” he shrieks.

Dapper groans, panting through a nightmare on the bed, his hands covering his ears.

“Everyone is weak and stupid and fleshy and pointless! Shut the fuck up! A fixation, what am I supposed to do, don’t you know I was born full of hatred, it’s his fault, it’s his fault! And he was weak and he was useless and he’s gone now, he’s gone!”

He drags himself back to his feet and throws the camera across the room, hard. Your screen cracks down the middle, giving you a shaky, glitching image as it tumbles to the ground to lay on its back.

“Projecting… I’ll show them motherfucking fear… I don’t have to be afraid of anything.”

skyewardlight asked: Ooooo looks like we hit a soft spot huh? :3c

“Shut your goddamn mouth.”

immabethehero asked: Anti, how are you not questioning the talking cameras?

“They’re not fucking talking, they’re just goddamn messages. And they do whatever I want them to, they’re my cameras. Everything with electricity for lifeblood is me, is mine. Talking cameras…”

Anonymous asked: fuck... anti... i respect you. pleeease don't hurt the boys because one of us said something cruel to you. we know you're very powerful. we don't doubt you. i'm sorry.

Anti’s rage simmers a little lower and he shrugs, shaking his head slowly. “Doesn’t matter,” he mumbles, a little thickly, rubbing at his face. “Nothing you can do to me. As if it matters… doesn’t matter…”

He sighs, stretching out his arms and tired, aching neck, looking calmer.

Anonymous asked: You know what would give everyone in this house some life blood? A space heater, Anti. Everyone's cold.

“Space heater,” he repeats. “No, we won’t be in this part of the world long enough to need that. Besides, have they really done anything to earn a space heater?”

spicydanhowell asked: yknow what i think though... and let me phrase this delicately because carver was so well behaved all day but... he and dok and even trick... they all still love each other, or at least care for each other

“Wrong, wrong, wrong,” hisses Anti. “Can’t be, can’t be, can’t be. Only on my orders. Stupid little brats. What reason would they have to still care about each other? I reset them and pitted them against each other like dogs in a ring. No, no, don’t be silly, pet.”

He staggers back to his bed, waving a hand, trying to get the camera to turn off.

“That’s enough out of you,” he growls, sinking back onto his blankets, his arms trembling as they lower his weight down again. “I brought you here for one reason and this is not it. I’m the one in control… I’m the one in control…”

The camera blinks off.

cest-mellow asked: hey red, you feeling any better? do you remember anything? even little things like smells, sounds, the way something felt or looked like. anything at all?

Red sits back, smiling slightly at the question as something warm flickers through his mind, a memory so distant it can barely be seen.

“I don’t know,” he sighs.

He looks around. Golden light drifts over his body. He soaks in it, staring out at the forest.

“I think there was… a house,” he says softly. “And it was… warm.”

He looks down at his hands, considering.

“But this isn’t that house.”

nikkilbook asked: How’s my boy doing? He’s gotta be overwhelmed. On like. Every metric.

Red stares at you, his mouth beginning to tremble.

“Oh, fuck,” he gasps, and breaks into sobs, gripping the soft fabric of his hoodie in his hands. “Oh, fuck. I can’t do this. I can’t handle - ”

His twin stirs beside him, rubbing at his eyes. A brief moment of utmost confusion covers his face, but after a moment, it changes to only “mostly confused” and he reaches out to touch Red’s sleeve, avoiding skin, mumbling his name.

“What’s going on?” he asks, soft.

“Don’t remember anything,” chokes Red, rocking himself gently back and forth. “Don’t feel good, hurt, hurt.”

His brother sits up, murmuring reassurances. He’s there to put a warm, steady pressure on his arm. No matter what happens, at least he gets to be there beside his friend, and make sure he’s okay, or, if not okay, still with him, at least.

Still with him, no matter who he is.

Anonymous asked: anti how exactly did it go reseting marvin? i guess red probably took it okay, but, like, what did you actually do to them to make them forget? how did you manage to get marvin to cooperate?

It’s evening and Anti’s only now bothering to rise from bed. His face is still starkly white, though he occasionally glitches back to green, rubbing wearily, angrily, at his face. Dapper’s not currently in the room, but shuffling nearby assures Anti that his pet has not gone too far. In fact, you can hear a sort of clapping coming from the hall.

“It went well enough,” murmurs Anti, satisfaction ghosting over his face. “Yes, you have to be rough to get them to cooperate. I came to grab him while he was sleeping, but then even Red got so upset - went into one of his little fucking freak-outs and wouldn’t come down into the basement with me. So I had to tie him up too. And then it’s just - power like an ocean, and the sound of them crying as they feel themselves drift away.

Like sand from the beach.”

He pauses, rubbing his thumb against his fingers.

“I love when they’re so dopey and confused,” he hums. “Love, love, love them looking up at me like that, waiting for me to tell me who they are… just like Jack must have felt, don’t you think? Just empty slates, waiting to be formed. I love that… but I almost hope there’s a little of the cat left… I want to see him…”

Anti pauses and takes a deep breath, closing his eyes.

“I want to see him humiliated by what I’ve turned him into.”

Anonymous asked: (Answer whenever)Why can’t you see that weakness doesn’t make you useless and uselessness doesn’t make you weak. You’re blinded by your constant crave for control, and anger that you don’t see that you yourself are being puppeted around by your own emotions. You can’t make a family forget their love for one another no matter how hard you try, and it pains you. Denial will not get you anywhere. It may be his fault that you’re like this but that doesn’t mean you should enable it for the worse.

Anti is up on his feet, searching through the drawers of the bedside table. Your words draw a low, dangerous hiss out of him, and he turns to you with mismatched eyes, lips drawn back.

“You’re a fool if you think I’m not in control of everything here,” he growls, turning back to the drawer. “I know everything they do, everything they think, everything - goddammit!”

He holds up a little orange prescription bottle. Four tiny white pills rattle around the bottom.

“Okay, you know what,” he says, as horns curl out of the back of his head and the scraping of dog’s claws echo through the air around you, accompanied by the soft snarling of something that you have never heard before. “Maybe there is one thing I can’t control.”

He sets the pill bottle in his hoodie pockets, his face cold as he turns to the light.

“Chase Brody’s unbelievable stupidity.”

He looks back towards his door.

“Red!” he calls. “Go tell Doktor and Trick to wait for me in the basement!”

Anonymous asked: The question is, why exactly did Anti allow us to observe and communicate in the first place? We may taunt him and try to get through to the egos but we're not really a threat while he maintains control.

“You want to know why I allow you to use my cameras? To watch, to see, to speak?”

Anti picks the camera up and holds it in his hands as he stalks out into the hall and back towards his room. Downstairs, you can hear frantic argument. Dapper scoots back against the wall of the hallway as you pass him, clutching something to his chest.

“It’s because I think it’s funny.”

He opens his closet door and pulls out a small wooden box, opening it to reveal a set of gorgeous silver knives, tipped with a different color each. Gently, he pulls out the orange-tipped one, gripping it warmly in his hands, holding it up to the twilight.

“I think it’s funny that you’re still here even after he is gone. I think it’s funny that you sit here and watch as I fucking torture them. I think it’s funny that you lost and you’re still here trying to win, I think it’s funny that my boys find any comfort at all in the things you say, and I think it’s the most ridiculously hilarious thing I’ve ever fucking heard that you still think you can save them.”

The cool blade of the knife glimmers and the light dances at his behest.

“You can watch all you want. Because I hated Jack, yes.” He turns to you.

His teeth are gritted. His eyes are black. The strength of the anger radiating off of him is powerful enough that you can feel it like a physical force, taste it in your mouth, sense it on the ends of your fingers, like when you hear the rattling of a snake but cannot see it yet.

Not yet.

“But some days,” he whispers, teeth bared. “I hated you more.”

There are birds crying in the trees. There are birds fleeing from the trees. The sky is rapid darkening.

“This is my victory. Drown in it.”

And he turns to head downstairs.

skyewardlight asked: Looks like someone's overcompensating about his control. You constantly mentioning that you're in control doesn't convince us Anti. You sound like a child constantly stating they're an adult and throwing a tantrum when someone else says that they aren't. Heh.

“I’m about to show you control,” he says.

The sound of his boots coming down the stairs silences the whole house. Red and Blue cower as he passes, hiding behind their island, not yet sure what’s going to happen, though memories both dull and sharp are rising harshly in their heads, memories of blood and agony.

“Overcompensating… he belongs to me. He’d be nothing without me. And he’s still foolish enough to fail to look after my little one, well.”

He flips the knife around and around in his hand.

“He won’t forget my puppy’s medicine again.”

Anonymous asked: Will hurting him make you feel better? Will hurting him make him love you more? It won’t. He is human, he forgets. You should not punish him for being the way they he is. Brothers are supposed to love one another. Not make the other feel miserable, and helpless. Why can’t you understand that it’s okay not to be in control?

Anti pauses on the stairs towards the basement, panting harshly.

“He shouldn’t forget,” he snarls, scraping his knife against the wall. “He shouldn’t, he shouldn’t, he should know better, I taught him better! He’s not human, he’s less than that, he’s just - ”

Anti screams and gnashes his teeth, throwing his head. “He’s just a piece of him! And I’ll fucking show him what happens when he doesn’t do what he’s supposed to! He belongs to me, to me, to me! No one else, no one else, no one else!”

Anonymous asked: anti, please, you didn't even tell him to get it. carver didn't even mention it. trick didn't do anything wrong

“Red said it, that Dapper was near to out. He should listen better to his big brother. He never does. Always the littler dog snapping back when he should just roll over. Doktor and I are the only ones he listens to, and sometimes not even then. Besides, he should know what the little one needs. What, he expects Dapper to remember? No. Trick has to change.”

Anonymous asked: Aaaaghhh there was a pharmacy! It was right in front of them and we didn't realize, nooooo! I thought they got everything at the store why!! I feel so deceived!

It was a very small detail!! Red only mentioned it off-handedly and the pharmacy was thrown in among a lot of other details. I think you guys still did a good job checking. Anti’s standards, as you can see, are near impossible to meet.

cest-mellow asked: anti, anti, take a second. everything is okay, red or you can just go out and grab the medicine, right? trick forgot, but he didn’t mean to! he got everything else you asked him to get, didnt he? and i can guarantee he feels absolutely awful about forgetting once he realizes, not because of you but because of dapper! you’re such a good brother, you know that? don’t you think you should be a little more gentle to them so they can be better to you as well?

At the top of the stairs, Anti hears Trick and Dok stop in their panicked discussion with each other, still panting through the darkness. He grits his teeth, growling softly, and a sob echoes off the walls.

Anti rolls his eyes, thinking.

“They would be relieved if I didn’t punish them,” he admits. “But he should… know better, he should… I can take it a little easy on Doktor, maybe. But he should learn, don’t you understand I have standards? No, no, no, there’s no excuses for his bad behavior. What would you have me do if not torment his Doktor? That’s always the best way to teach him.”

Anonymous asked: This is not right. You shouldn’t be doing this to your little brother. He loves you, and would do anything for you. You already make him do so much, and now you’re going to hurt him for accidentally forgetting. What kind of brother tortures the other? They may love you but they do not believe that you love them, and I’m starting to think that, they are right.

Anti bristles with a nasty sneer, stalking down the stairs again. “Oh, you don’t think they love me?”

The boys jolt as he appears before them, backing closer to each other. Doktor tries to keep Trick behind him, Trick does the same with Doktor, and they end up pressed side to side, almost gripping each other’s hands.

“Trick,” he says, snatching him by the throat. Trick screams, lifted into the air - Doktor, at his side and to his credit, does not flinch away. “Do you love me?”

“Yes, yes!” screams Trick, gagging, clutching at his brother’s hands. “Yes, so much, please!”

Anti drops him on the ground.

“Please,” wails Trick. “What did we do?”

“Where’s Dapper’s refill?”

“R-refill?”

“For his medicine, Trick! The shit that keeps him from tearing his fucking face off because he sees dogs eating him alive!”

Trick can’t breathe. His mouth hangs open as he stammers too much to speak.

“We’ll go back and get it,” whispers Doktor, stepping slightly over his brother’s body. “We promise. No harm done, master.”

“‘We,’ no, no, your stupid twin is on his own. If he wanted your help, he should have remembered.”

“D-didn’t - mean to - Anti,” gasps Trick. “D-didn’t - ”

“No, you shut up! Here’s what we’re going to do. You’re lucky your little audience is less bloodthirsty than usual. For once, no one seems to want to see your brother tortured.”

Trick sobs dryly, reaching out to grab Doktor’s pant leg. Anti reaches down to grab him by the hair and yank him to his knees.

“Dapper has two days worth of refills left.” He holds up the little orange bottle and rattles the pills. “So you have two hours, Trickshot. Come back with his medicine. If you make it in time, I won’t touch your twin. If not, we’ll be having fun without you.”

Anti drops Trick again and turns to you, shoving the camera back onto the table by the door. “And if you want to see him safe so badly, then why don’t you save him? Take your camera, Trick.”

For a second, a smile plays across Anti’s mouth like the wriggling of an entrail.

“Your little friends are going to help you on your way.”

Anonymous asked: Money! He needs money!

Trick glances up at Anti for a second, panting.

“I gave you your money,” says Anti coolly, pulling Doktor away from his twin, who gives him one last desperate glance and manages to sign “H-A-L-D - ” before he is yanked to Anti’s chest. Trick hesitates again, trying to think, and a second later the back of Anti’s hand collides with his face, striking him hard enough to make his head spin. Choking, Trick dashes up the stairs, trying to hold back tears, always, always, always trying to hold back tears.

“Trick? What’s going on?” asks Blue, his voice haggard. In a blind panic, Trick considers just dashing away from him. It takes more than half an hour just to run to town, let alone to get the medicine and return, and he already feels so weak and shaky with terror that he can barely stand.

Anonymous asked: Im trying to see the good in your Anti, but sometimes its hard to admit that you’re not a straight up dickwad. He admitted he loved you out of fear and nothing more. They only love you so they can survive another day. Why can’t you get that through your thick fucking skull? You need help and actual love, and so do they. I know you want that. You’re just afraid that they’ll leave you alone, or that you’ve broken them past the point of no return

Anti screams, a horrible sound, enraged and exhausted, low on power and lower still on patience. “Shut the fuck up! Shut up! Shut up, shut up!”

He turns his head towards you with a horrible burst of light from his eyes and the camera shorts out entirely with a painful screech, leaving you with no eyes in the basement and a last memory of the sight of Doktor’s face, blank and yet terrified as he sinks, helpless, to the ground.

Anonymous asked: H-A-L-D. Does that mean anything to you, Trick? Can you make anything out?

“I - I don’t know, no, I don’t know anything! I don’t know where the pharmacy is, I don’t know what his prescription is or what fake name he goes by, how much it costs, I don’t have any money, but it doesn’t matter because it’s night and I think the pharmacy is closed and I - ”

He has to heave in a desperate breath, gripping frantically at his hair, tearing, tearing, tearing -

“Trick,” cries Blue, getting painfully to his feet and coming to his brother’s aid. He tries to grab Trick’s hand, but he draws away, frantic, eyes wide.

“Tell me what’s going on,” Blue demands.

“No, no, no, no, Anti said alone - ”

Blue grabs his hands again, successfully this time. Trick stops, gasping, and turns to meet his brother’s eyes, bluer than denim dye. “Trick,” says Blue, softly.

And there is a moment where the name that Trick was told to forget rises to his brain like a sedative, warm and reassuring and tired, and the man looking at him is not just Anti’s, but his own, is someone he remembers, very distantly, very softly, very warmly…

“Marvin,” whimpers Trick. “I don’t know what to do.”

Blue blinks, drawing slightly away.

“I forgot to get Dapper’s medicine and now Anti is angry and he’ll hurt Doktor if I don’t bring it back in two hours but I don’t have anything I need and I don’t know - I don’t know - I don’t - ”

“Amata,” whispers Marvin, touching his cheek. “Breathe. Breathe. What do you need?”

“You can’t come with me. You’re hurt, you’d slow me down. And I can’t ask you for much,” whimpers Trick. “Anti could get mad if he realizes you helped me.”

Marvin’s eyes flash. Red is watching from behind the island, shaking.

“Is there anything I can do?” asks Marvin.

Trick stammers, shaking his head uncertainly, turning to you with eyes wide. “I don’t know, is there?”

Anonymous asked: Dapper, has Anti ever accidentally killed anyone downstairs and had you go back to fix it? I was going to ask him this directly but I realized if this has happened, he wouldn't know...

Dapper is sitting in his room, happily drawing with his chalks, which have apparently been returned to him. “Look what someone left on the stairs!” he crows cheerfully, holding up his sketchbook and chalks. “Trick or Doktor, I guess. They must have sneaked up the stairs and everything, just for me, just for me!” His cheeks are flushed with delight. For a second, he just sits drawing, processing your message slowly, slowly, until his chalk has come to a standstill in his hands.

He pauses, staring at his paper, his mouth falling sorrowful again.

“I’ve undone a lot of bad things,” he says. “They blur together. You don’t know how many times I watched Doktor rise up out of that body bag… In the end, I couldn’t even prevent the bullet from striking him, but he did not die. And some days, Trick or Red have not returned home, and I have redone the day again and again. But Anti, killing someone downstairs? Not one of my brothers, maybe enemies.”

He curves the beak of a crow, thinking, his mouth taut.

“Once,” he says, slowly. “Anti told me that he had broken someone, and so I had to undo it… he was very gentle with Trick for some days after… he let him sleep and sleep and sleep…”

Dapper sighs and readjusts, pulling his sketchbook close. “But I’m just glad those things didn’t end up happening!”

Anonymous asked: This is all dappers fault.

The smile dies on Dapper’s lips. “What’s my fault?” he asks shakily, dropping his chalk to the ground. “What did I…”

Paranoid, he rubs at his throat, glancing around, frantic. This wouldn’t be the first time he’s fucked something up and then forgotten about it, only to be punished minutes later. Tears pool in his silvery eyes.

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Hey Trick, Dok!! Please be brave for each other. Remember today and how happy you felt!

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” chokes Trick, biting on his lip til it breathes. “I have to be - I have to be brave for Doktor. I have to be brave. I have to be brave.”

He tries to take deep breaths, working hard to calm down. He can do this. He can do this.

Anonymous asked: dapper, im sure you won't be able to but - do you think you could fix today? is that even possible?

“Fix today? I could go back before it. But only if Anti told me to. Otherwise I wouldn’t know the password and then he would be angry when he saw my silver eyes. Why, something’s wrong?”

Anonymous asked: Dapper, you've done nothing wrong. You're medication was forgotten and Anti is pissed but that's just him being... himself, I guess. It's nothing that can't be fixed though okay? What are you drawing?

“Oh.”

Dapper stares down at his paper. After a moment, he sets it unhappily down to the side and gets to his feet, rising to stare out the window. His face is quiet and tired. There are blue bruises all around his throat.

“I hope it can be fixed. He gets so angry…”

He rubs his face, stressed.

“I was just drawing Poe,” he sighs. “But I don’t think she’s coming back anyway. Will Anti hurt the other boys, for forgetting? I should have… I should have remembered.”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Dappper, it might be in Trick's best interest for you to redo the day. He and Doktor are in serious trouble!

Dapper chews on his nail. “I’d like to help, but it’s not a quick decision, you understand. First of all, there’s no point to a redo unless there’s something I can do to change it. Otherwise we’re just looping. I’m the only one who will remember the change, but Anti will see that I am tired and silver and then he will ask me for the password or a good explanation, and I won’t have it. Then I’ll be in a great deal of trouble, and things still may not be fixed. I need to be able to interfere. Usually, that means I tell Anti something went wrong and he changes his approach or comes to the aid of the brother in trouble.”

Anonymous asked: I don't know what Marvin can help you with, but Red has picked up Dapper's medication before! He should know the medication and the other details. (PS, pharmacy is near the store you had been shopping at for the other supplies)

Marvin whirls on his twin. “Red, tell him what you know.”

Red stares between the two of them, making calculations in his head. Doktor will be hurt if Trick doesn’t come back fast enough. That’s guaranteed. Red himself may be hurt if he helps Trick, but the likelihood is lower, and it could save Doktor. If that were all there was to it, he would take the burden of responsibility without hesitation. Anti said he was the leader, so it’s his job to protect the others. However, things have changed from – oh, he doesn’t even remember, he just knows things have changed. He has a twin now. Like Doktor punished for Trick’s mistake, Blue could be the one punished for Red’s decision.

“You understand,” says Red. “That if I tell him, you could be hurt.”

“Yes,” snaps Marvin, without hesitation. “Stop being a little bitch and tell him.”

Red laughs aloud. If he could remember, he would know it has been a very long time since he laughed like that. He’s starting to see why Anti picked this one for him.

“Fuck,” he laughs, a little hysterically. “Trick, come here.”

Trick, anxious but relieved, hurries to his side and kneels down beside the cupboards with him.

“I was rummaging through the cupboards this morning,” says Red. “Trying to figure out who I was.”

Trick winces at the sadness of it.

“I found all these IDs. They’re for different countries, different names, different ages, different everything. There’s about twenty-five of them and the pictures could work for any one of us. I don’t remember which one I used to pick up Dapper’s medicine.”

“Fuck,” gasps Trick, taking the box of IDs from him. “Fuck, okay, we can do this. There’s Irish, Norweigan, American, French, German, and Dutch IDs.”

“Yeah, we’re pretty white,” says Red.

Trick startles. “Did you just make a joke? I’ve never heard you make a joke.”

“Um - ”

“Never mind. Which should I take?”

Anonymous asked: You use krone as currency, you're in Norway!

“Are we?” asks Red. “I could have fucking sworn we were Irish.”

“We are,” says Marvin, and then pauses, confusion clouding over his eyes. “Are we?”

“It doesn’t matter,” snaps Trick, sorting out the IDs. “There’s five Norweigan IDs. Which should I take? None of these look like Dapper!”

“What sort of differences would Anti use to distinguish Dapper’s ID from everyone else’s?” asks Red. “Or should you just take all five?”

The boys stare between each other, trying to think.

pixie-in-trebleland asked: I mean, Dapper is his favourite. Is there any extra care taken on any of the ID's? There has to be something!

“Some of them look newer than others… the birth dates are different…”

cest-mellow asked: red, blue? can you tell me any information about dap’s medicine? what name he uses, what kind, how much it costs? everything you say? this is important, anti is involved. trick is also into town to grab some stuff so if you have some change to spare for him..? thank you boys!

“I’m trying to remember,” sighs Red, sitting back on his heels. “I wish I could just go for him, I might remember something if I could see it. Medicine, medicine, medicine… I feel like the name of the prescription is on the tip of my tongue. Maybe it started with an H?”

“How about money?” asks Marv, coming up beside his brothers to help sort through the IDs. “You got anything stored?”

Red sighs. “Doesn’t matter. Store’s closed by now, I guarantee it. We’re getting close to nine at night and this is a small town, they don’t do twenty-four hours. You’re going to have to break in. You need the name Dapper uses or the name of the prescription, and preferably both.”

Trick jolts. “No, no - stealing shit is your job, I’ve only done that once and we were desperate!”

“Oh, you’re not desperate now?”

Trick whimpers, clutching at his hair. Marvin grabs his wrist and gives it a reassuring squeeze. “Red, don’t you have anything that could help him?”

Red turns back to the cupboards, searching again. “There’s nothing tech-related down here. I’m assuming Anti keeps everything in his room. We could go up there and - ”

“No!” cries Trick. “No, no! Anti might let you off just for giving me advice, but if you go upstairs he will beat you into a fucking pulp, guaranteed. Dapper’s the only one upstairs and I’m not sure I want him involved.”

He pauses, biting his nails.

“I’ll… bring Doktor’s gun. And a hood and a mask, and try to break in on my own. The things upstairs would be nice, but it’s not like I can talk to Dap anyway.”

“What are you talking about, breaking in someplace?” protests Marvin, alarmed. “Is that something we do often?”

“I’m pretty sure I do,” frowns Red. “But maybe I’m wrong.”

“Fucking goddamn,” hisses Trick, exasperated. “I think I prefer no-memory Red, but he sure is useless.”

“Hey!” snaps Red, punching his shoulder. For once, Trick isn’t afraid that there are more blows coming, and he can’t help but laugh, wiping at tears in his eyes and shaking like a leaf caught beneath a door.

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Is there one that looks the closest to Dapper?? You're running out of time...

“No.” Trick’s voice is teary, he knows you’re right. “No, maybe I should just take them all and go.”

Anonymous asked: Does anyone know how many different countries you've been through before this place?

“Oh, I do.” Dapper’s picking anxiously at a splinter on the sill of his window. “Anti tells me and Red, says someone should know. Not that he’ll remember now, poor bloke. The three of us were in good old England for a while, then Ireland, Sweden, the Netherlands. Stopped once in Italy, then back to the Netherlands. I liked the Netherlands the most, we lived right by this great river, and Trick and Doktor were in the next room over, and I would listen to them talking and pretend I was talking to them too. And there were cats that would come up to the window and meow for fish. I loved it there. But we’re here now. I have a very nice view and I like the lights at night.” He sets his head in his hands, his mouth sad. “But I don’t expect we’ll stay long. We never do.”

Anonymous asked: Hey Dapper, do you mind showing us your bottle of medicine? That way we can tell Trick what kind to get for you

“Sorry, I don’t see it in my drawer. I think Anti took it with him downstairs.” Dapper rubs his hands together, looking stressed. “I can’t help with anything. I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m so useless.”

Anonymous asked: Well, if you're breaking in, you probably won't need the right ID, right? You just need to find meds that match one of the names on the IDs. Bring all of them! And remember that it starts with H, Doktor was saying something like Hald?

“That’s a good point.” Trick looks relieved. “Okay. Let me grab the mask and the gun. Anything else I should bring?”

Anonymous asked: Which one has the youngest birthdate?

“Oh!”

Trick sorts excitedly through the IDs. “This one, um - born October 31, 1993 - Kayden James? Does that sound right?”

Anonymous asked: Haldol? It's an anti psychotic!

“Haldol.” Red snaps his fingers, delighted. “That’s it, I’m sure that’s right.”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Anti, I hope you realize that there is more at risk if Trick goes and gets the medication. What if he gets the wrong prescription? Or what if he's caught doing something he shouldn't?

The camera upstairs fizzles and glitches, casting Dapper momentarily in red light.

“Fixes all their mistakes,” plays across the screen in glitching green words.

For a second, Dapper gives the camera a disparaging look, as if he knows what’s being said.

“He’s getting overconfident,” he signs darkly, looking suddenly angry. Then he draws his arms around his chest and sits down on his bed, rocking himself gently, glancing over at the wall that separates his room and Anti’s office.

Anonymous asked: Do you have something you could use as a crow bar maybe?

“All the good stuff is upstairs or downstairs,” whimpers Trick, nevertheless sorting through the cupboards. “I wish I had some of the tech Anti usually gives Red. It’s - oh, fuck, what the hell is this?”

The boys pause to stare at it. It’s a short and very sturdy… stick?

“There’s a button on it,” says Marvin.

Trick presses it. They all jump hard as the stick expands into a full-length staff, Trick tumbling back onto his ass.

“Goddamn!” he snaps. “This is yours, Red.”

“Oh.”

“It’s a fighting staff.”

“You might be able to smash some shit with that. I’m more worried about locks.”

“Well, what’s that if not a lock picking kit?” Marvin points down at a little wrapped up pouch, inside which Trick finds a row of picks.

“Thank God,” he breathes, shoving them in his pocket.

“You know how to use those?”

“Yeah, actually. Fuck, well…” He glances longingly up the stairs at Anti’s room. “I guess that’s it.”

Anonymous asked: Let's see, mask so no one can see your face, gun to threaten people or break windows or something, ID to know which meds to get... unless you have a way to get you there and back faster, you might just want to go now, if no one can think of something else you might need. Time is of the essence.

“Right, right.”

Trick breathes out slowly, trying to steady himself. Fuck, he wishes he could do this with Doktor.

But he can’t. It’s up to him. He has to save his brother. Nothing else matters.

He turns back to the twins and jumps as Marvin presses the mask to his face and tugs the strap down over the back of his head. “Steal more than the Haldol, so the cops don’t trace it back to us. Narcotics or something. They won’t realize you’re anything more than a junkie. Take your brother’s big coat too,” he advises. “Keep the hood up and zip it all the way up, to hide your mouth.”

“Why are you helping me at all?” mumbles Trick, savoring the feeling of Marvin’s hands carding through his hair, just once. “We’re strangers. You don’t know me and I don’t know you.”

Marvin pauses. Trick stares up into his eyes. Soft hands, wrapped in warm gauze, descend to cup his face.

“I don’t remember much,” says Marvin, very quietly, so only Trick can hear, and the sheer tenderness of it is enough to bring tears to his eyes. For so long, Dok has been the only one who has cared about him. “But I do remember, little brother, that I love you very much.”

Trick snuffles, trying to hide his teary face as he swallows back the sudden pang of a very warm memory - someone holding him in a hotel room, promising him that everything will be okay, that he’ll be looked after, magic swimming quietly around their heads. He doesn’t want Red to mock him - but to his surprise, his oldest brother comes over too, and sets a hand on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry I can’t go in your stead,” says Red, and he sounds it. “Come back to us in one piece.”

Commanding but not cold. Not cold.

“That’s an order.”

“Yes, sir,” manages Trick.

He packs up his things as fast as ever he’s prepared for anything, snatching Dok’s coat from their nest and tugging the hood over his head, zipping it up from his mouth. Panting hard already, he takes off at a sprint down the steep path from the mountain to the village.

One hour and thirty minutes remain.

They watch him go, tortured twins wrapped in bandages.

“Can I ask you something?” asks Marvin.

“Yeah, course.”

“Why’s your hair red?”

“Fuck if I know. Yours is blue, after all.”

“Mine is what?”

Anonymous asked: Guys, you could just break down in front of the owners and say Dapper's very sick and you have no money....

By the time Trick makes it to the pharmacy, night has fallen dark about him and he is panting hard after the long run down the mountainside toward the sea. He slows as he reaches the village, tugging his hood lower over his eyes, darting behind buildings on his way to the store. There are people out and about, unfortunately, just across the street at the bar and restaurant where he and his brothers got fish just yesterday.

He almost chokes on the memory. He’d give anything to go back to that moment right now, watching Doktor eating fried food until his stomach was full and his mouth was smiling. He wonders if he’s afraid right now. He wonders if he’s in pain. He doesn’t know if Anti will keep his two-hour promise.

“Break down in front of the owners,” repeats Trick, panting as he makes his way to the back of the pharmacy. “I don’t know who the owners are - the shop is closed for the night and there’s no one home. I don’t speak Norwegian and don’t know if they speak English. I don’t know that they would give it to me, and if they did, I’d already have drawn too much attention to myself. But by all means, if you find a solution to all those problems, let’s fucking go for it.”

He rubs anxiously at his face, tears pricking in his eyes. “I don’t mean to snap,” he croaks. “I’m just stressed and - goddamn, no!”

He recoils from the door at the back of the pharmacy as though it’s stung him.

“I was hoping it would just be locked!” he cries, staring in dismay.

The door is locked with a digital number key pad, listing 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9, and * all in a mockery of him. Trick grips at his hair. “This is a tiny town, why does it have any tech security at all!”

If he shoots it or tries to break it, he expects an alarm to go off. He needs to know the pass-code or risk breaking in while the cops respond.

Trick groans, turning his face away from the security cameras that watch from the door above, hoping he’s staying covered enough to hide. “Don’t suppose you would know the code? Please? Oh, shit. Oh, fuck, please.”

juju-on-that-yeet asked: Look at the pad and see which numbers are the most worn down/faded. That'll give you a place to start, at least.

“M-maybe the 7?”

Anonymous asked: Do you know the address of the pharmacy, where it is on the street? Maybe the code is something like that, easy for employees to remember.

“No, I’m not sure… I’m scared to go around front and look. Or maybe if I could find their phone number online… but I don’t have any way to look that up.”

spicydanhowell asked: TRICK THE CODE IS 3677* (This was a number hidden in the tags of other posts)

Trick stares at you, panting hard. For a second, a million doubts run through his head - they could lie to me, they could make it up so I go to jail, they could be trying to get me away from Anti, they could be Anti trying to trick me and punish me, they could just be messing with me, I don’t even know who they are, how they’re talking to me, why they’re here, what they’d know -

But Dok is waiting for him. Dok is waiting for him and he doesn’t have any other choice and maybe there are some things that are worth putting a little faith in anyway, so he turns and presses his palm to the sensor, plugging in 3677*.

The handle turns in his hand and he gasps aloud, nearly collapsing from the relief. But time is of the essence, as you told him, and he needs to keep going, to be brave for his twin’s sake.

“Thank you,” he signs, tears in his eyes, and he shoves into the store, where bright lights flicker on in response to his movement.

“Okay, okay,” he chokes. “Now I just need Haldol, under the name Kayden James, and to steal something controlled so they don’t track it back to us and it just looks like I’m an addict looking for a fix. What did Blue say? Narcotics or something?”

spicydanhowell asked: a bunch of different stuff, trick, it hardly matters what, just get in and out. Two anons had similar advice added.

“Okay, you got it.”

Trick busts open the master-locked cupboards in the back, using Red’s fighting staff to smash through the wood - to his credit, he’s right that a small town pharmacy lacks good security for the most part, and no alarms go off inside, though he’s certainly been spotted by the security cameras staring down at him from all sides. He finds the prepared prescriptions arranged by last name and grabs at the J’s, finding the orange bottle marked “Haloperidol - James, Kayden” almost immediately, chock-full of the tiny white pills that help his little brother function. Nearly crying, he kisses the bottle and shoves it into his pocket, glancing back at the cold white clock on the back of the pharmacy.

He’s got fifty minutes to get home. He’ll have to run, but he can make it.

Just grab something. Just grab something.

But he doesn’t want people to not get their medicine. He’ll go for the unprepared stuff, the full boxes of medicine.

He turns to the shelves full of boxes and starts rummaging, looking for anything you listed, but nothing here is controlled, nothing addictive or used to make addictive shit, not that he can see, anyway. He glances toward an ancient safe with rusty hinges set on the table in the back and grins.

The hinges break after five furious strikes. There’s a crash as the door tumbles to the ground and he winces, his heart rate picking up. Someone on the street might have heard that. He needs to go.

He grabs two boxes of Percocet and three orange pain killer bottles. He turns back to the prepared prescriptions and scatters them across the floor. They won’t notice one missing in the middle of that, or they’ll assume it was just lost somehow.

“Alright,” he breathes. “Time to fucking go.”

He takes off, pressing back through the door again, staggering into the alley -

Where a small child is standing, staring curiously at the open door.

Trick freezes still, gasping, his hand clutched around Doktor’s gun.

It’s the boy from the shop, the one sitting on the counter while his grandmother checked them out. Trick realizes, distantly, that he was there when he bought this green coat.

The boy is staring at the gun at Trick’s side, fear making his eyes widen.

Trick tries to speak but can only stammer, his brain giving him no words at all. He doesn’t know what to do, and he is afraid.

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Run, Trick. Just Run! The longer you stay, the worse things will get. You have everything you need! Four other asks, from florence-is-falling and three anons, gave Trick conflicting advice and were added.

Trick starts and then stops again, staggering slightly. Too many options - he’s not used to having any options at all, Anti or Red is supposed to be with him on missions, telling him what to do, making sure everything goes smoothly - this shouldn’t have happened, this shouldn’t be happening at all, he wants to go home, he wants Doktor to hold onto him and rock him through this nightmare, until he falls asleep, and wakes up in the morning knowing it is far away -

Oh, fuck, he has to focus, he has to be brave, has to get this medicine home for Doktor, has to, has to!

“H-hi,” he manages finally, remembering your order to change his voice and quickly adopting the accent he always imagines Dapper’s signs in, clear and English. “Hi, there, love, it’s okay.”

The boy stares up at him, his little hands shaking, wrapped around a stuffed dolphin toy. He’s not well bundled up, only wearing a little coat, unzipped, for warmth. He’s perhaps seven years old. A kid this age shouldn’t be out on his own after light’s fallen, should he? And before Trick can think, the words are out of his mouth:

“Why are you out so late? Where’s Mum and Dad?”

A blush rushes up his little cold cheeks. He looks down at his dolphin, picking at its fin, mouth trembling.

“Oh,” says Trick, a little teasing now. “Snuck out, now, did we?”

“No,” squeaks the boy.

At least he speaks English.

“You’re sure?” asks Trick, slowly tucking the gun away in the hopes that the boy didn’t see it at all.

“Why were you inside the store so late?”

“Um,” stammers Trick, swallowing, trying to assert himself. “Um, well - because - because I thought someone had broken in. See how the door’s left open?”

The kid nods slowly, his face twisted up in thought.

“I was worried there was a bad guy inside,” adds Trick, nodding sharply. Okay, he can go with this. It’s a small kid. They’ve both caught each other. It’s okay. It has to be okay. This has to work. “So I went to try and stop him.”

“Ohhh,” says the boy, relaxing. “That’s why you have a gun.”

“Yeah, exactly!”

“The police don’t have guns, though…”

Goddamn Europe and their safety laws. “Well,” he bullshits, his eyes flickering around desperately as he hears people walking down the streets. “I’m not a cop. I’m a - a superhero.”

The boy’s eyes widen. Excited. Wasn’t he drawing storm troopers yesterday?

“Like a Jedi,” adds Trick, nodding. “I have to use the gun because my lightsaber’s not working right now. Want to see?”

“Yeah!”

He grabs Red’s staff and pulls it out, extending it in one press of the button. He’s beginning to sweat - do you think the clock is ticking as fast as his heart beats?

“Wow,” breathes the child. “How are you going to fix it?”

“I’m sorry, buddy, I can’t talk right now. I’m in a rush. My - my brother’s in trouble. So I have to go. Okay? You need to go home to your parents, right? Shouldn’t have been sneaking out, should you? So tell you what - I won’t tell anybody that you snuck out, and then you don’t tell anybody you saw me here. Okay? Cause you know superheroes get in trouble with the police sometimes.”

He doesn’t look entirely convinced.

“Please, bud,” gasps Trick. “Please, um - what’s your name, love?”

“Hunter.”

Trick stops breathing entirely.

Hunter, Hunter, Hunter.

Why does he know that name - a little boy - mousy dark hair, big brown eyes, freckles and a smile on his mouth, crinkle paper and stuffed toys in baby hands, his baby, his baby, his baby -

He should have just run, or knocked him out, or threatened him, like you told him to. But he couldn’t, he couldn’t, he couldn’t. He’s just a little boy. He’s just like his little boy.

He turns away from Hunter and takes off at a sprint, tearing along behind houses and buildings, back into the forest, sprinting, the stitch in his side gone, the pain in his chest gone, nothing remaining at all but the desperation to get home to his brother, and the memory that haunts him, the memory of a little boy all alone.

He moves faster than he’s ever moved up the pathway, branches striking across his brother’s coat. Behind him, he could swear he hears the snapping of dog’s teeth at his heel, the harsh breath of hounds hunting him down, teeth, teeth, teeth always waiting to devour, and he runs, runs, runs, even though he is beginning to lose hope that safety awaits him at the end of the road.

cest-mellow asked: dok? are you doing alright downstairs?

The camera is barely working, but someone must have restarted it. It flickers to life in shaking hands, and you see Doktor’s face.

Anti’s given him new glasses, unshattered, a bizarre show of affection preceding a torture session if Trick doesn’t hurry. He’s alone as far as you can tell, wiping slowly at his eyes as he cries steadily, breathing painfully thin.

“Can you please - ”

He pauses, swallows, restarts, water cascading down his cheeks.

“Can you please tell me if Trick is okay?”

He rubs at his cheeks. Everything he does is strangely slow - you’re pretty sure he’s too clammed up to move any faster. His voice sounds like it’s been put through a straining record player and his chest trembles with the effort of continuing to draw air.

“Anti… hasn’t… hurt me,” he wheezes. “But I think - I think I’d like - I want to go upstairs now, p-please…”

Anonymous asked: So, Marvin, hey, good to see you!! What do you remember? How do you feel?

Marvin’s sitting on top of the island, staring blankly at his hands. You’ve caught him and Red in the middle of a conversation, and his twin looks up at him with worry in his eyes from the floor.

“Umm.” Marvin is looking himself over, tugging down a strand of blue hair to see its color, opening his coat and examining his shirt and pants and jewelry. He doesn’t recognize any of it.

“I’m not even sure this is my body,” he mumbles. His hands shake minutely. Pulling back his sleeves, even Jack’s old tattoo fails to comfort him. They all have one of those. Running his hands through his hair does not give him the correct sensation - he has forgotten the tug of his long hair, but still he can feel that it is missing - he knows that the weight on his fingers is not the one he is used to, that these are not the shoes he is used to watching as he walked, that nothing is - nothing is right, nothing is - all of this - wrong, wrong, wrong -

Oh. On his wrist, there is a small flower, inked into his skin.

“Blue,” murmurs Red. “Doing okay?”

“I don’t remember anything,” whispers Marvin. “Do you?”

“I think there are flashes coming back to me… but not much.”

Marvin swallows, staring down at the flower. “Do you feel like… the person who you see in the mirror… is the wrong person?”

Red stares up at him, wearily. “Only a little,” he answers. “But the sensation is familiar.”

Marvin’s head snaps up. He stares directly at you.

“Is this how Anti always treats them?” he asks. “Sending them into terrors, threatening them for small mistakes, cutting up our hair and changing us without permission? Keeping the other boy in the attic? How long have I been here? Have I always been like this? Please tell me what’s going on. Please.”

“Blue,” warns Red, staring frantically down at the basement. “Blue, careful what you say.”

“Because this person,” continues Marvin, ignoring him. “This person who Anti tells me I am - this is not the right person. I don’t think this is right. I don’t think Anti is right.”

“Blue,” hisses Red. “Blue, shut the fuck up. Do you want to get killed?”

But, though his memory is gone, his courage is not. And he needs to know. He has to know.

“This is not who I am.”

Anonymous asked: Trick is coming back, he's a little shaken but he's fine!

“Oh, he’s coming back, he’s coming back…”

Doktor hides his face against his knees, breathing harshly.

“Always comes back for me… H-hurry, Trick…”

just-a-youtubers-blog asked: Blue!! BLUE!!??! NO! YOUR NAME IS MARVIN! MARVIN!! WE CAN'T LOSE YOU, TOO! NO! WHY... why... I - we can't... lose you, too... not you... WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!! IS THIS SOME SICK WAY OF RUBBING IT IN OUR FACE!!?! I SWEAR, I WOULD MAIM YOU IF I COULD, AND I'M PRETTY SURE MARVIN FEELS THE SAME WAY! NOT BLUE, MARVIN! YOU SICK, DEMENTED PHYCOPATH!! (dapper, we might need a time rewindal...) (you did say that you would relive this day right?)

Red winces every time you say the name, covering up his ears and hissing out a warning, but Marvin only smiles, nodding slow.

“Yeah, that sounded more right than Blue when Trickshot said it… but that’s not his name either, now is it?”

oasisofgalaxies asked: I wont say your name right now if it hurts you. Blue, you were someone great, magnificent. a magician, a sorcerer with great power. You cam here because of your heart, your heart always filled with love for your brothers. You came because your brothers were in danger. You came here because Anti stole your brothers from you and turned them into people they aren't. You came here and were captured. You fought so hard, but you fell into the role Anti laid out for you. A role of shackles and chains.

Marvin stares down at his hands, thinking. “You were calling out to me days ago,” he guesses. “But I couldn’t hear you.

“A sorcerer, huh?”

Blue light flickers through his eyes. Red is beginning to look afraid. Your camera screen glitches.

“My brothers in danger…”

Anonymous asked: Marvin, you're a good person. You're a magician without his mask, but remember that underneath whatever clothes anti makes you wear or whatever name he calls you, you are Marvin and you are good.

“Good,” mumbles Marvin, thoughtful. “Strange, I… I’m not sure about that one… there’s this great self-hatred inside of my chest… But I guess goodness is a choice… and I think I’d like to choose it, if I could sort all this out… I have to sort all this out.”

nikkilbook asked: You’re a wonderful man who loves his brothers very much. And by brothers, I mean Red, Trick, Doctor, and Dapper. All of them. Not just your twin. You want to keep them safe and together. You sacrificed a lot to try and keep them safe.

“Did I? Sacrifice for them, try to keep them safe? Looks like I did a pretty fucking awful job.”

Tears spark in his eyes. He closes his eyes and his fist, grimacing as cold washes of memories return to him in blurs barely meaningful - Chase and Henrik hiding behind him, Jackie’s empty bedroom that terrible morning, Jameson dragged away from him, all his power come to nothing -

“But you’re right about one thing - all of them are my brothers. Not just Red. This is my family.”

musical-in-theory asked: You are a magnificent man who loves his brothers, all 4 of them. You are a magic man who does tricks for the delight of others. A kind man. A beautiful person who doesn’t belong in this terrible place

“Tricks?”

This brings a small smile back to Marvin’s face. “Really, like a performer? That’s wonderful. Ha, tricks… and you’re right, I am quite beautiful.”

Laughing, he tries to throw his hair, teasing, only to find it cut short again. “Ah, right… I’m Blue now…”

Anonymous asked: Dap, are you around? Are you okay? Do you know where Anti is?

Dapper’s laid out on his floor, staring up at the ceiling.

“Anti’s everywhere,” he signs dully. “I can feel him summoning up his strength. He feels… angry. You should warn my brothers to be careful. Whatever they’re doing, he doesn’t seem to like.”

just-a-youtubers-blog asked: You asked us to remember your name when you forgot it. And that's what we'll do, Marvin. Marvin, the Magnificent. The man who had a deeper understanding of things we'll miss you, Marv. Can I at least say goodbye? Please? Before he is truly gone forever? Bye, Marv. We'll miss you... sorry... this... is all our fault. Sorry.

Marvin stares at the ground. Red has come to stand beside him, gripping his shoulders, trying to keep him quiet.

“Maybe you should say goodbye,” he calls gently. “Give up the old name, please. I’m afraid Anti can hear you. Just - just say goodbye. Anti would like that. Yeah? You don’t want to get hurt. I don’t want - I can’t bear to see you hurt, please, please be quiet,” begs Red, shaking his shoulders. “Say goodbye, Blue, come on.”

His twin closes his eyes, trying to think.

oasisofgalaxies asked: You heard me!! You’re ok! I’m so happy, but now you have to be careful. Anti knows what you’re your up to, or at least he can sense it. Be careful Marvin. I’m worried that if he gets even more mad he’ll do something worse.

“Right, right,” murmurs Marvin. “I need to be quiet - these are his cameras - if he hears me, he could hurt Red to punish me.”

Anonymous asked: I'm with Red on this, Marvin, be very careful what you say and ask. There are eyes and ears everywhere. But no, Blue is not who you are. Anti is lying to you. You might recognize some names - cover your ears if it helps, Red - Jackie, Henrik, Chase, or Jameson? Jack?

Marvin looks up, his eyes full of light.

He wants to say the names out loud, so much it’s almost painful to hold them back, but another look at Red, distressed at his side, stops him short. Squeezing his twin’s hand, he quiets, thoughtful.

“We should change the subject,” he murmurs.

He looks up at Red. “Enough about me,” he says. “Tell me something about you.”

Red pauses, his eyes flickering around anxiously.

“There’s nothing to tell,” he says. “I’m just… Red.”

Anonymous asked: Blue, just take everything as it comes okay? I'm saying this for your sake and your family's. We want to about a family field trip to the basement. Your name is Blue and what's important is what's here now. We can't worry about what's past.

Marvin swallows, clinging to Red’s sweatshirt. “Right, right… okay, yeah. I’m - I’m Blue now.”

He closes his eyes as though in pain, but only for a moment, because Red’s relief is enough to reassure him.

“There you go,” cries Red, pulling him into a crushing hug, which makes Blue laugh. “Fuck, now stop saying stupid things!”

Blue tries to shove him away, laughing hard. “Hey, fine, fine! Asshole, get off me!”

“I will not, you’re too stupid to be left alone - ”

Blue hugs him back, chuckling.

With his arms wrapped around his neck, Red thinks he remembers something, vaguely - a younger man in a cat mask, clutched tight to his chest, warm days at home, just the two of them, and then their joy, later, as their little house filled up…

He closes his eyes, pushing away its comfort. The past does not matter and to rejoice in it is dangerous. What matters is here and now. And what he has, here and now, is a family all its own. He can’t let the past matter. He can’t let himself remember. Blue’s hands are warm on his neck.

Your screen glitches.

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Hey guys? Not to cut the sweetness sesh short or anything, but I'd be on your guard. Dapper is worried for you guys. Can you sense anything down there?

Blue and Red glance around, concerned, still holding each other’s arms.

But nothing seems to move.

Everything is quiet.

Still, they both get the sense that something has changed.

Footsteps in the hallway above them.

They exchange glances, confused.

Anonymous asked: Yeah, everything's okay here! Just Blue and Red, hanging out, being goofs. Nothing to see! Maybe you guys can go to the window and watch for Trick for a bit, since he's on an errand and not on watch?

“Sure,” says Blue, swallowing. “Um, yeah. Inconspicuous, right?”

He ends up too tired to get up the three little stairs to the nest, his stitches aching painfully, but Red manages to get up and sit beside the window, watching for his brother.

Anonymous asked: Can you guys be ready for Trick when he comes home? I don't want the door being locked or something stupid like that tripping him up...

“Okay,” agrees Blue, limping to the door and pulling it open. He sits down on the porch and waits, hopeful.

“I don’t expect he’s got much time left.”

Anonymous asked: Trick: *steals child* this is mine now

“I wish I could tell you,” pants Trick, drawing near to home. “That I wasn’t fucking tempted.”

Anonymous asked: Hey Marv, Blue if it keeps you safe, you should keep an eye on Trick when he gets back. He met a boy called Hunter. Not /Hunter/ Hunter obviously (I assume he's safe with his mum and sister) but it almost stirred a memory in Trick. If anything happens and he begins to properly remember, I'm sure he'd appreciate his brother trying to be there for him as best he can. I mean, I'm saying all this and I'm not even sure you remember who Hunter is.

“Oh, no… I don’t remember who Hunter is, but I think I get the gist. I’ll keep an eye on him… that’s all I can do, right? I’ll ask him how he is, keep an eye on him.”

Anonymous asked: Trick are you running? How close are you? Similar asks from florenceisfalling and cest-mellow were added.

“I’m coming, I’m coming! Do I still have time?”

He’s panting hard, but there, in the distance, he sees Blue, sitting on the stairs. His brother rises as he approaches, calling for him.

“Yeah, I got it!” he cries, rocketing up the porch and practically leaping into the house, brushing past Blue. “I got it, I got it! Where’s master?”

“I don’t know, we haven’t seen him - ”

Trick yanks open the door to the basement and sprints down the stairs, sliding slightly on old blood. He finds Doktor curled up against the wall, his knees drawn to his chest, shaking hard, but he doesn’t see Anti. He pauses to give his twin a quick kiss, promising him, “I got it, I got it, he won’t hurt you now!” before dashing back up the stairs.

“Where is he, where is he?” he cries, staring frantically around. “Anti, Anti, I got the - ”

Blue grabs his shoulders tightly, silencing him by his intensity. His vivid ocean eyes are fixed on the staircase.

Trick turns his eyes to look too.

Steps come down the stairs. Red, Blue, and Trick watch uncertainly as the silhouette appears.

“Dapper?” asks Trick softly.

Dapper’s body is at the bottom step.

Anti shakes his head no, slowly.

“Oh,” stammers Trick, backing up slightly against Blue’s chest. “Okay, um…”

Anti wears Dapper looser than he did Red. There is no stiffness, no scars, no pain. Dapper’s body fits him well. He tugs up the sleeves of a crisp white dress shirt, complete with a bowtie, and reaches out an empty hand.

Panting roughly, Trick holds out the Haloperidol. The pills tremble in his fingers and steady in Dapper’s.

Anti regards them coolly, his head tilted. Curls of light brown hair tumble into ink and pitch eyes.

He turns to go, waving a disinterested hand at the basement. Trick, nearly wheezing, sorts his priorities out and decides not to question, darting back down the stairs to get his twin.

“Anti?” asks Red, summoning his courage.

Anti pauses, turning to look at him.

“Not questioning, sir,” says Red softly. “But is there a reason I should know about that made you decide to, um… wear… Dap?”

Fear and rage burn in Blue’s throat like vodka as he stares at the monster wearing his baby brother. A recollection awakens in his chest - Jameson, less haggard but no younger, curled up against his chest, teaching him sign language with careful, patient movements of his hands, laughing sweetly every time Marvin messed up. He swallows hard, squeezing tight his trembling hands, feeling magic curl like dragon-fire against his palms.

Anti turns and looks directly at him.

Looks directly at Marvin.

And then he turns around, in silence, and heads back up the stairs.

pixie-in-trebleland asked: I hope one day you realize, Anti, that this isn't how you show love. There is a HUGE difference between love and control.

Anti is shadowed in darkness. He moves up the stairs, looking up at you.

“Maybe,” he signs. “But the difference no longer matters.”

End Section Four of Chapter One.

Find this chapter’s masterlist here.

#abuse tw #torture tw #pharmacy break-in #chapter 1

26 notes · View notes

my-brothers-corrupted · 5 years ago

Text

My Brothers, Corrupted

Chapter Two : Section Five : Happy Holidays

After a scary night, Trick and Dok are finally reunited, and Red, though badly shaken, is safe and home after being saved by Dapper from a near-kidnapping. The good news, however, is that Blue brought all their presents home safe, everyone is together, and the holidays are upon them. Everyone’s just hoping to have a good day, but not everything that’s been bubbling over can be avoided for the day, and Anti’s willing to put Dapper’s life at the risk to control his psychosis.

Trigger warnings for abuse, including forced overdose of medication (mild current side effects), and trauma.

Find Chapter One here.

Find Chapter Two here.

Section Five of Chapter Two: Happy Holidays

At the beginning of this chapter, @darlingtonjohnson/@puppetfluff had their version of the characters drop off a little Christmas package for the boys, which I had them open and enjoy. I don’t want to repost the art but you can find it in the December archive. The boys got blankets, a little money, some magical items from the other world, and a letter promising help from the other boys, some of which, unfortunately, could not come into play in the rest of the story. I’ve tried to leave in just what I can consider canon here, but I loved the little present and if you want to see the original version it’s still there untouched, tagged ‘puppetfluff mini crossover.’

Trick wakes up to sunlight on his face and no one wrapped around his body for the first time in weeks.

The roosters are singing their wake-up song and he pushes through the door of Dok’s room and into the hallway.

“Trick?” calls a voice from Red and Blue’s room.

“Yeah?”

“Will you have Dok go check on Anti? I can’t get up, Red’s asleep half on top of me.”

“Haha! Sure, dude.”

the-weirdest-fan asked: Hey Anti, you gonna be okay for Christmas?

Doktor pokes his head in his room first.

“Was he even awake this morning?” Blue is whispering to Dap.

“He stirred but didn’t stop me from leaving him.”

“And that’s strange for him, huh?”

“He must be exhausted?”

“Anti?” Doktor calls, stepping into his room. “How are we doing?”

Anti’s sleeping on his stomach, clutching at a pillow. He groans slightly, shaking his head.

“Are you awake?” murmurs Dok, moving to his side and kneeling down beside him.

Anti’s eyes are closed yet, his face taut with hurt. He mumbles under his breath, his hands scrabbling weakly at the wrapped wound on his back.

“Scheisse.” Dok stands up and begins unwinding the bandages, revealing the old wound once again.

It pusses persistently and bleeds afresh as he opens it. Anti gives a shuddering breath and drags his eyes open, snatching at Doktor’s shirt.

“What’s going on?” he snarls, his nails digging into Dok’s stomach. “What’s going on, what’s - where am I?”

“In your room, in your room,” soothes Dok, wincing as the claws dig in. “You’re okay.”

“Where’s - everyone was gone.”

“We’re sorry, master. Red was in trouble and Dapper went to help him.”

“In trouble - because someone was trying to take him,” Anti recalls, yanking himself to his knees. Dok cries out, reaching out to take his shoulders, trying to push him back down.

“Anti, please rest! You’re injured, you’re not well. The worry sent you over the edge yesterday, you - ”

“Shut up,” snaps Anti, sitting up straight and grabbing at his side. “I’m fine. Your concern is pathetic. Go get Red and Dapper for me this instant.”

“Red’s not feeling well, Anti, can’t he - ”

“This fucking instant,” Anti shouts, grabbing Doktor’s hair and shoving him across the room. Doktor staggers, clutching at his head, and darts away to fetch his brothers.

bupine asked: hey anti, can you not be a dick for two minutes? it's christmas man come on

“Shut up,” snaps Anti, a little frantic. “I just - I just need to see them, I just - ”

Dap pokes his head in the door.

Anti stares at him for a good long moment, eyes wide.

“Hey, baby,” he whispers finally.

“Hi, Anti,” replies Dapper sweetly, stepping into the room with a smile on his face.

Anti’s whole body droops with relief and he reaches out his hands, delighted when Dapper moves forward to be hugged. With a long, long sigh, he pulls him to his chest and hugs him tight, tight in his arms.

“For a second I thought you’d just run away from me,” he murmurs, kissing at the side of his head. “But you were being good, huh?”

He has Dapper’s hands pinned down where he can’t see them. He draws him away only to get a better look at him, running his hands down the side of his face adoringly, humming at his littlest boy. Dapper stares back with a slightly glazed smile on his mouth.

Perfectly unharmed. Perfectly under control.

“What a little darling you are,” Anti sighs, brushing his hair back. “Here, let’s get your medicine.”

“My Haldol?”

“No, Dap, we’ve been over this.”

“Oh. The new stuff. Here, Dok put a new bottle in there… I accidentally spilled the rest last night.”

“Okay.” Anti pulls a fresh bottle of Fanapt out of the drawer and offers the little pill out to Dapper, placing it on his tongue for him. Dapper gives no protest, swallowing it little white ‘12′ and all. Anti gives another low sigh of relief, smiling at him.

“Tell you what,” he soothes, playing with Dapper’s hair again. “Get beneath the bed and get me my backpack. I have a Christmas present for all of you. Ready for yours?”

Dapper lights up a little more genuinely than before and ducks beneath the bed. Anti lets himself sink back against the headboard of the bed, already a little calmer.

cest-mellow requested: dapper could get some art supplies, or a cool new knife that’s got gold and stuff on it, something that’s heavy in his hand and he moves it up and down when he picks it up, it just fits right in his hand – better than other knives he’s had before

Dapper crawls up on the bed with Anti and hands over his backpack, frowning as a little blood crawls down his big brother’s spine. Anti shifts and takes it with the barest twitch of his mouth, petting at Dapper’s back possessively as he reaches into his backpack and pulls out -

“Pretty, pretty!”

Carver stares at his present, clapping his hands together, eyes wide and mouth smiling. Anti purrs and holds the knife out to him, letting his little attack dog take it in his hands.

“It’s just simple, really,” murmurs Anti, watching him test it, balanced perfect in his hands. “But made for your size and your style… ravenous little fighter that you are.”

“A stabbing blade,” whispers Carver’s free hand. “Pretty.”

“Technically for skinning,” smiles Anti coldly. “But I think you’ll make good use of it.”

“Where did you get it, Anti? It’s been used.”

“Yes. Took it from someone who came after you a long time ago. She’s gone now, though. I decided you should have it. A beautiful little blade - same as you are to me. Now you have one of your own. No more borrowing steak knives and switch-blades. This one is made for fighting, and yours to keep.”

Carver stares at the blade, admiring the way the light shines off the edges. Lovely, lovely, beautiful.

“Do you like it?”

“Yes, Anti! Thank you!” Dapper turns that smile to him - twitching at the corner, but what does it matter? He’s Anti’s again, Anti’s completely, Anti’s wonderfully and perfectly. His safety, his dagger, his boy.

“Good,” sighs Anti, pulling him back into a hug and kissing at his hair. “Good. Merry Christmas, my darling.”

spicydanhowell asked: oh my god did carver just start the fanapt and he's already taking 12mg??? he should be taking ONE mg to start!!! that's why his face is twitching. taking too much can cause permanent movement disorder, i checked. the website said call your doctor immediately if you have uncontrolled facial muscle movement. carver, are you having dizziness, trouble swallowing, weight gain, are you going number one enough?? it's not good to fuck with meds too much anti what the hell

“Oh, he’s handling it fine,” scowls Anti, knocking their foreheads together as Dapper plays with his knife. “He was on the Haldol for long enough, they’re not really that different of medicines. I think he’ll be fine with a little twitching. Dizziness you get because you used your powers yesterday, right, puppet?”

“Yes, Anti.”

“You’re fine. Your head’s all back together and everything. Got my little boy back.” Anti hums and sets his chin down on Dapper’s head, watching warmly as he flips the knife around in his hands.

“I want him on 15 eventually but I told Dok I’d ease him into it. He’s fine. He’s better than fine. He’s perfect again.”

nikkilbook asked: You literally have no idea how the human body works, do you Anti.

“I have a pretty good idea of how the human brain works,” he growls dangerously, and the tone in his voice makes Dapper look up with a coy ferocity in his eyes, flipping the knife about faster. “And he looks fine to me. He looks just right to me. Nothing to be concerned with. Let the boy have a nice Christmas, stop trying to scare him. Up you pop, then, Dap, Trick’s making you something to eat. Shouldn’t have your medicine on an empty stomach.”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Interesting, Anti, that you're being so reckless with Jameson's health if he's so important to you.

“What was reckless was letting him slip away in the first place,” answers Anti, squeezing Dap’s wrist one more time. “Letting him play with Doktor and the others instead of staying in here with me. Letting him slip back into his episodes and get so reckless I had to put him back in place. He needs stronger medicine. All of them are different and that’s what this one needs, that’s how I take care of him. What’s best for his health is for him to be functional - obedient and smiling and playing with his toys again. This is healthier than he’s been in weeks.”

nikkilbook asked: Out of curiosity, what happens when the twitching spreads and he can no longer hold his knife steady? What happens when he cuts himself? What happens when his eyes twitch so badly that he doesn’t see an attack coming? If you want them in good condition, frikkin follow the standard operating procedure. Just cuz you’re big and scary and like to mess around with people’s neurons doesn’t mean you know what you’re doing. Your puppets or your hubris—pick one.

“Fuck, but you’re all absolute fucking pansies when it comes to a little twitching.” Anti barks out a laugh, pushing Dapper towards the door. “Go play with your brothers, love. Believe it or not, if he started to deteriorate, I’d - novel concept here, wait for it - fucking change it. Did you not see him fighting yesterday? I think he’s doing just fine. Enough of this, I’m sick of all of your whining. So over-protective. Is it because you know the poor baby boy can’t take care of himself?”

Anti pouts mockingly at you, holding back a smile.

Anonymous asked: God these boys are better off being kiddnapped then being here with you. When are you gonna start playing smarter, Anti? Because you’re so selfish you almost got Red killed. Share some information with people to keep them safe bastard. You’re lucky Jamesone still has some logical sense in his drugged mental state. Even then they should have taken Jackie away from you!

Anti is on his feet in a flash of color and coding, snatching you off the drawer and throwing you, hard, against the wall. The camera tumbles to the ground with a crash, the screen shattering, though your connection manages to stay with you.

“I almost got Red killed? I almost got him killed? Who the fuck was it that told the stupid little bitch to go after someone alone? If Red did what he was supposed to, he would know he’s never supposed to risk anything alone. What, you think I knew about these people? You think I know anything about them now? All I know is that magicians? They’re fucking control freaks. Everything needs supervision and an order to belong to and they have all these fucking rules - if I had it my way, and Blue could keep his fucking power on hold for five fucking seconds, none of this would have happened!”

Dapper has scurried around to the other side of the room, ducking down beside the bed to hide. You see him put his head between his knees and begin playing with his puppets with a bizarrely intense focus.

“This is their fault! Stupid little brats! They’re supposed to be the oldest and they run around town without a fucking thought in their brains! This is how I stole that stupid brat in the first place - a shred of bait and he came running to me with that hero’s cry on his mouth, only to get himself fucking kidnapped. Well, if they come for him again, I won’t try and stop them - little moron gets what he deserves in the end.

And don’t you dare act like Dapper can’t think because of his medicine - that’s the only thing that lets his broken fucking head function at all and he’s sharper than all but one of his brothers. You can blame everything on me all you want. He was the one who created them already shattered, Red and Blue were the ones who let their guards down, and you egged my idiot dog on.”

nikkilbook asked: You’re literally force feeding him 1200% of the appropriate starting dose, and he’s having to choose between another knife in his ribs and a pill that’s cooking his brain. He’s staying alive as best he can, so I see no reason why we can’t back him up.

“He’s tough. It’s working. You’re the ones stressing him out right now.”

Anonymous asked: Maybe Jamie should have hit you harder

“Maybe you’d like to see Doktor dangle for another twelve hours. Or, since you seem to like that number so little, we could kick it up to twenty-four. Hm?”

Anonymous asked: "W-WHY CAN'T YOU JUST SAY "I'M SORRY" FOR ONCE, ANTI!? DO YOU EVEN CARE THAT THEY'RE HURT? AT ALL? Why- W-WHY CAN'T YOU CARE?" -PF!H

“Holy shit,” grumbles Anti, rolling his eyes. “I feel like I walked onto the set of a Grey’s Anatomy shoot or some shit. Tell your master to come pick up his baby, I think someone needs to stitch your puppet heart back together.”

Anonymous asked: I dunno, Anti? Why don’t you tell us yourself? That wound in your back still hurt? What about your face? Still feel weak from having to use all your damn power to set him back in line? Dapper is not a fucking child, he knows better.

Anti spits blood at your screen and laughs.

“Doesn’t matter what it costs,” he hisses, clutching at his back. “All that matters is he’s mine. And always. Fucking. Will be.”

nikkilbook asked: Can it, turtle boy. Literally everyone is born into this world with imperfections, and we pick up more as we stumble along. I’ll not pretend to know why you all came to be with your particular flavors, because there are so many ways this story could play out, but you are the way that you are because of your decisions and your environment, not your genesis. Stop making excuses and start taking some responsibility because your little kingdom crumbles any further.

“Blah, blah, blah. My little kingdom will be fine as soon as I have Dapper murder the little thieves that tried to take my dog from me.”

The look in his eyes is a little too bright, but you don’t know if it’s because of fever or fervor. Blood slides down his back.

“Everyone’s under my control,” he whispers, closing his eyes. “Merriest of Christmases to me.”

cest-mellow asked: alright, no need to upset anyone on christmas. anti says 12, so it’s 12. if dapper gets hurt, dok can help, anti will help, and if it’s that bad, dapper can turn time back and prevent himself from getting hurt in the first place. everything’s okay, just let christmas be fight and anger free

“There we go, here’s someone with a little sense.”

Anti straightens up a little - or tries to. You see his face spasm as another wave of pain hits him and he grunts, putting his hand down on the bed, coughing at the taste of copper in his mouth.

“If you could all control your tempers for a second, you might let the boys have a nice day for once.”

Anonymous asked: His name is Jack by the way, J-A-C-K, or if you’re really fancy, Sean. Don’t be a little bitch. If you’re gonna say you’re not scared or definitely in control, Say. His. Fucking. Name.

Anti stares at you, something dark building in his eyes. A very cold, joyless smile is growing on his mouth.

Blood trickles down his nose.

“That name means nothing now,” he hisses, gritting his teeth. “Everything it ever stood for is gone. And I was the one who took it away.”

Anonymous asked: Guys I'm all for roasting Anti but maybe let's not get him pissed so the boys can have a nice day?

“There you go,” sighs Anti, leaning back against his headboard, so you cannot see the way his chest is beginning to shake.

Anonymous asked: "Hey, just saying. ..You should maybe, I don't know, stop. 'Cause if you upset the little guy any more I have a feeling you really aren't going to like what comes for you. And I.. don't mean me. Trust me, I say this for your own good. Just move on and celebrate." -PF!M

“Whatever. Go get Red for me, where the fuck is he?”

cest-mellow asked: red? are you feeling better? anti was asking for you

You find Blue peeking into Red’s room, knocking gently on the door.

“Hey, Roser,” he whispers, tip-toeing to his side. “You up?”

Red turns over sleepily. Blue sings his name gently and reaches down to touch his face -

Red grabs his wrist in an iron grip and reaches up to strike Blue in the throat, making him choke. A second later, he leaps up to pin his twin to the ground, hard, shoving down on his collarbone.

“Let me fucking go!” he screams, shaking Blue hard. “Let me fucking - ”

“Red!” shrieks Blue, trying to kick him off. “Red, it’s me!”

Someone shoves into Red from the side, knocking him off Blue’s chest, and he cries out in pain as his injured body hits the floor.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” soothes Trick desperately, grabbing at his hands. “I just wanted to get you off him!”

“What the hell, Red?” cries Blue, sitting up. “Are you okay?”

Red stares up at him, his pupils blown wide, clutching at his bleeding stomach.

“Red,” Blue repeats, softer. “Are you okay?”

Red’s eyes fill up with tears. He covers his face weakly as he begins to cry, shaking like a shot dog.

“Holy shit, holy shit,” he gaps. “Zul, I’m so sorry, I thought you were - I was dreaming and I thought - ”

“Oh, honey, oh, honey.”

Blue reaches down to hug him and Red bursts into sobs, clutching at his twin’s shoulders. “It was an accident, I didn’t mean to!”

“I know, I know. Trick, go get Red some water, we’re all shaken up here, aren’t we? Fuck, Reddie, you know how to spook a guy… It’s okay, it’s okay.”

Red jumps as he hears shouting down the hall. “Wh - what’s going on?”

“Oh, hell,” sighs Blue. “Who knows? Anti yelling again. He, um. He needs to see you.”

“Ahh,” groans Red, covering his face with his hands, sniffling wetly. “I don’t want him to see me like this.”

“Just for a second, buddy, just for a second, I’m sure.”

“Is he angry at me?”

“I… I don’t know, Red…”

In Blue’s language, that may as well be a ‘yes.’ Red bites down hard on his lip and sinks back in his mattress, trying to stop crying.

Anonymous asked: dok please get anti to lay back down and patch him up before he hurts himself worse

“Oh, fuck, what is he doing?” groans Dok, leaving Trick’s side - he’s cooking turkey sausage and eggs - and darting back towards the room at the end of the hall.

“Anti?” he calls tentatively, poking his head back in to check on him. “You doing okay?”

“Dok, I have a question for you,” mumbles Anti, stretched out on his bed, his head against the pillows and his eyes closed.

“Yes, Anti?”

“You patched me all together last night, right?”

“Yes, Anti. Best I could.”

“So why the fuck is this - ” He gestures sarcastically to the wound in his side. “ - still a fucking problem?”

“If you would stop straining yourself - ”

“Whatever,” spits Anti, trying to take a deep breath and grimacing horribly, his entire body giving a slight jerk from the pain of it. His voice is beginning to tremble. “Come here and fix this.”

Relieved, Dok ducks forward to help, getting his gauze out and re-bandaging Anti’s back. “You just need some rest, bruder. Just take a couple days easy.”

Anti seems to have lost the strength to protest. He stares blandly up at Doktor, his lips shaking and his gaze a little too fixed.

spicydanhowell asked: fuck, dok, is there any way to keep anti subdued for a bit while he heals? if he's being erratic like this.... yikes.

Doktor glances at the camera, wincing a little at the question.

“Not sure,” he whispers. “Wish I knew… um, Anti, what do you think about lying down for a while?”

“Quiet,” mumbles Anti, rubbing at his face. “We both know I don’t have a choice, you little idiot. Just go get my Red so I can have some fucking peace from you disasters for once.”

“Of course, Anti.”

Anonymous asked: being soft is a strength, hero, don’t be afraid of showing your scars.

Red’s mouth falls slightly open, and then closes again, his eyes wide.

“Wow,” he whispers, a little shakily. “That’s, like… so sweet. Thank you… I don’t know if everyone would agree, ha, but… thank you.”

“It’s okay, buddy,” murmurs Blue, rubbing reassuringly at his shoulder. “Poor guy. It’s going to be okay.”

“Thank you. I don’t know why it seems so scary, I just - ”

“Hey,” calls Dok, knocking gently on the door. “Sorry, I know you’re sick. But I really think you should come see Anti. He’s getting himself very worked up. Can you stand?”

Red wipes the tears off his face and nods sternly, trying to find his calmness again. Fuck, but he feels so shaky. Why won’t this feeling go away?

Dok reaches out to help him, but Red brushes him off and pulls himself to his feet.

He heads down the hall towards his master.

Anonymous asked: Call me sadistic but I'm becoming more and more okay with letting Anti run himself into the ground until he just disappears for good, if that's what he wants. At least long enough for the boys to have a chance to wake up.

“Fuck, shut up!” screams Anti, dragging himself off his pillows again and immediately draining of all his color. “You don’t know anything! You’re all so fucking stupid! You act like I’m mortal! You act like I can fucking lose with everything finally under my control! If a single one of you had brains inside those heads of yours - ”

“Anti, Anti!” cries Red, appearing in the doorway and hurrying forward to help him, grabbing his brother’s hands and quickly pushing him back. He’s shocked by how weak he finds his little brother, and for a moment he is frozen, holding Anti’s head in his hands as he lies him down against the pillows, watching black eyes roll back and close, harsh panting falling from Anti’s mouth.

“Fuck, Anti, what have we done to you? Huh? Shit. Poor thing.”

He leans forward and knocks his forehead against Anti’s carefully, drawing his brother’s eyes open again. Exhausted, Anti stares up at him for a moment with something unrecognizable in his eyes, reaching up to stroke his fingers through Red’s beard.

“You,” he whispers, tugging a little on one of the hairs. “You almost scared me, you ass.”

Red chuckles and squeezes his fingers reassuringly. “I’m sorry, Anti. I was stupid. It won’t happen again. Trust me, I’ve learned my lesson.”

“You’re lucky I’m too tired to give you another one,” growls Anti. He sinks back into his pillows a second later, softening. “It’s good you’re alright. Look what you’ve done to your stupid stomach… Red, what were you thinking?”

“I’m sorry, Anti. I’ll make it up to you.”

“You need to tell me everything you know.”

“Not now, Anti. You’re exhausted.”

“No, no, I have to find out who they were, I have to hide us, I have to make sure they don’t grab you again…”

“Not right now,” murmurs Red, brushing hair from his face. “I’ll write it all down for you, okay? I’ll write it all down and you’ll have it all when you’re ready.”

Anti stares up at him, brushing at his beard. Red sits back and watches over him until he has gone quiet enough to signify acquiescence.

nikkilbook asked: Please be safe, my boy

“Aw, come on,” murmurs Red, with a soft smile, looking down at Anti. “What’s my little brother going to do to me?”

Anti smiles tersely at him, trying to stay awake a moment more.

“Your presents are in my backpack,” he mumbles. “Get yours out for me, I want to see you have it.”

Red brightens and reaches to take the backpack, reaching into the first pouch to find what’s his.

“Is it in this first one?” he asks after a second, confused.

“Yeah, it’s there.”

“Anti, there’s just one of your computers in here.”

Anti grins slyly up at him.

Red’s eyes widen. He pulls the laptop out with a shaky sort of disbelief.

“It’s not… a nice one,” admits Anti with a soft laugh. “And I know we don’t get wifi up here unless I’m connecting it, but there’s, like, games and coding stuff you can do. And in the evening, if you’ve been good, maybe I can get you a little wifi and you and Blue can download some shows or something. And if we need to hack into something you’ll have your own computer ready to go. It’s pretty simple but - ”

Red throws himself on Anti’s neck, trying desperately to stop himself from squeezing him so tight he re-opens his little brother’s wound. Anti laughs, and even though it turns into an aching, wheezing cough, Red still thinks it’s a wonderful sound to hear.

“I love you,” he says, pressing their heads together again. “Thank you, Anti. Thank you.”

“Yeah, yeah. You’re welcome, Red. You’re welcome.”

Anonymous asked: Shut your damn mouth and take a nap you salty bastard. Your whining is giving everyone a headache.

“Holy fuck,” laughs Red. “Anti, the hell did you do to get them on your case?”

“Red, they’re being so mean to me,” pouts Anti, crossing his arms over his chest.

“They are, oh my goodness… back off, you little jerks, hahaha. I’m sure they’ll forgive you. Come on, they’re right that you need a nap, though.”

Anti growls and lies down, staring up at Red wearily.

“Give your brothers their presents.”

“Yes, Anti.”

“Don’t bother me.”

“We can do that, Anti.”

“And… keep an eye on your baby brother, okay?”

Red turns to glance at Dap, playing on the floor beside the bed. He reaches out and Dapper responds obediently, giving him his hand and letting himself be pulled to his feet.

“Of course, Anti. No worries.”

“Mmh. I always worry. It’s part of looking after you idiots.”

Red smiles and knocks their heads together one more time. Exhausted and hurting, Anti lets his eyes slide shut.

“Get some rest, Anti. Merry Christmas. Nothing is going to hurt you. I swear.”

reverseblackholeofwords asked: Now that he's done with his tantrum, can we exchange gifts?

“Yeah!” shouts Trick from the clinic, piling up a plate of turkey sausage and eggs for his brother. “It’s Christmas mornings, dudes! Time to eat and unwrap presents!”

“Okay, okay,” laughs Blue, stepping out of his room. “Come on, let’s set everything up. You two ready?”

“Yeah, yeah,” calls Red, pulling Dapper from Anti’s room and trying to make his voice sound steady. “Just give us a sec. I want to check in on the little guy.”

Dapper startles and turns to look at him, eyes wide. “Me?”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Dap, since we're all arguing about you here and trying to make sure you're okay, let's hear it from you...how are you?

“Oh,” Dapper’s mouth moves. “Oh, I’m fine. Red. Eyes. Don’t worry about me.”

“They were worried about the twitching?” Red reaches out to brush his thumb past a jumping vein in Dapper’s cheek. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Dapper shifts on his feet, frowning at the floor. For a second, there is something harsh and angry and familiar in his face, but then it is gone, and he is simpering again, nodding his head.

Red draws back, not sure he’s convinced.

bupine asked: hey dap, you ok?

“Dap, just tell me what’s wrong,” Red insists.

“Why do you care?” asks Dapper, backing away a little, something twisting on his mouth. “You’re not my twin.”

Red frowns, confused.

“You’re still my little brother. I have a duty to you.”

“Duty,” repeats Dapper, and then falls silent for a moment more, staring at the ground.

“Anti says I’m fine, so I’m fine,” he says finally, his mouth thin.

“Dapper…”

“I just… I just don’t know why he had to switch my medicines.” Dapper clutches at his vest anxiously, closing his eyes. “I want my Haldol again. I don’t like this new stuff. I feel… weird. I miss my Haldol.”

Red sighs and reaches out to rub his shoulder, thinking. “Well, we’ll have to talk to Dok and Anti, but probably nothing we can do right now. Yeah? So let’s just see if we can have a nice Christmas and work it out tomorrow, okay?”

“Red… I don’t want to lose my mind again.”

“Oh, bud.”

Red draws him in for a hug.

Dapper tenses, startled. But after a moment, the warmth, however conditioned it might be, is genuine in his eyes, and he lets himself list against Red for a moment, clutching at his hoodie.

“It’s going to be okay. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

spicydanhowell asked: doktor! i'm sorry, i know you all are trying to have a good morning together, but theres something seriously wrong with carver. do you know that anti is giving him 12mg of fanapt already??? and his face is twitching- which can be /irreversible/ and god knows what else is happening to him. he's acting so strangely.... something needs to be done. you need to replace the meds with placebos or something istg

Doktor nearly chokes on his eggs, leaping to his feet.

“What? Dapper! Dapper, come here!”

Startled, Dapper turns to see Doktor hurrying towards him from the other side of the hall. A moment later, his face is held between Doktor’s hands and there is an anxious doctor babbling in front of him.

“How do you feel? Are you okay? Is that why you’ve had the tardive dyskinesia? Oh, why didn’t I even realize? Why am I so shitty at this? Do you feel hot? Angry? Upset, foggy? Nauseous or dizzy, maybe? Can you move okay? Are you having twitching anywhere else? Fuck, forget the Fanapt, you shouldn’t even be entirely off your Haldol so fast - three days? Oh, Dapper, Dapper, how do you feel? Are you okay? Are you - ”

“Dok!” snaps Red, dragging his little brother away from Dapper and back towards the clinic. “Stop smothering him!”

“He could get sick, he could keep twitching like that for a long time, he could withdraw and go back to his psychosis, he shouldn’t be off his Haldol, he shouldn’t be taking that much Fanapt, this is serious medicine and it - ”

“Dok!” Red repeats, shaking him a little. Dok freezes, panting. “Is there anything we can do about that right now?”

A world of agony seems to move through Dok’s eyes in an instant.

“I - I want to put him back on his Haldol.”

“Anti sold it with the Percocet.”

“Oh, fuck,” chokes Doktor, squeezing his eyes tightly shut as the tears begin to form. “Then - then take him off the Fanapt!”

“He’s already had his dose for the day.”

Dok steadies himself and puts his hands on Red’s shoulders. “I want to take him to the hospital.”

“What? Have you lost your fucking mind?”

“I want - I need to make sure - he could get very ill, he could become psychotic again - ”

“Dok,” whispers Red. “Dok.”

And they both know what he means - you know we can’t do that, you know that won’t help now, you know you’re grasping at straws, you know we can’t do that, we can’t do that, we can’t ever do that, it’s up to you, it’s all, always, up to you to keep us healthy -

Dok puts his head down on Red’s chest, breathing hard.

“It’s Christmas,” whispers Red. “Let’s just help him have a nice Christmas.”

“So he can lose himself tomorrow? Huh? Is that it?”

Doktor looks up with ferocity in his eyes.

Red has regained his calm in the face of his distress.

“I promise you,” he says, very softly. “Dapper won’t take that much again tomorrow.”

Doktor stares at him, the anger fading.

“You… you promise?”

“Yeah. I do.”

“How are you going to promise anything? How can you still pretend you have any control over the life you live?”

If it stings Red, he makes no sign of it. He levels his gaze again.

“I promise.”

Dok slackens, closing his eyes for a second.

“Okay,” he whispers. “I trust you.”

“He’ll be just fine. Just one day of too much. Just one nice Christmas. Okay?”

“Okay. Okay. Yeah. Let’s do this. Everything’s going to be fine.”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Dap, you better be careful with that knife. :)

Dapper’s worry fades a little as he draws the knife out again to show you.

“I’m very good with knives!” he tells you cheerfully, presenting it again. “Pretty, pretty!”

“Looks really nice, bud,” calls Red from the other side of the hall, smiling tightly. “Want to open some more?”

Dapper perks up, smiling and hurrying down the hallway towards him.

“You mean there are more?”

“Little man, you have no idea…”

cest-mellow requested: maybe trick gives dok something small in secret too? Like a piece of the crinkle paper or like, something small to fit in his pocket

Red blinks at the message, thinking.

“Fuck, you’re right,” he murmurs, glancing around the kitchen.

Blue has set up the presents beneath blankets around the mini Christmas tree Doktor bought them all.

“I’d be miserable if I couldn’t get anything for Blue. I loved picking stuff out for him. Hey, Trick, come here!”

Trick looks up at the whisper and hurries over, frowning.

“Something wrong?”

“No, no, come here.” Red reaches into his backpack and digs out a couple of Dok’s presents. “Here, I want you to be able to give something to Dok yourself.”

Trick’s eyes light up immediately. “Really?”

“Yeah, totally. Come on, what do you want to pick out for him?”

“Red!” cries Trick, clapping his hands together. “Thank you!”

“Haha. It’s no problem, bud.”

“Can I give him the coffee?”

Red tosses him the bag. Beaming, Trick hides it behind his back and sits down near the corner so he can hide it behind himself, a joyful blush coating his brightened face.

Red laughs. “That was a good idea. Thank you. Hey, everybody come get some breakfast and let’s get into some motherfucking presents, yeah?”

Laughter and calls for eggs answer him as his brothers swarm around him in a cheerful little huddle of a family, handing around what little food they have with unwrapped presents hiding on the floor beneath a half-foot tree.

It’s enough.

It’s more than enough.

Red’s chest is full of warmth.

Anonymous asked: Dok if you have something to say, say it. Anti is asleep.

Dok lifts up his head, forcing himself to stay focused on the party, though you notice he keeps Dapper close at hand.

“No,” he tells you tersely. I don’t have anything to say.”

His face brightens almost mischievously as he catches sight of Trick hiding something behind his back on the other side of the room.

“Except happy Hanukkah!”

He darts away to apply some pressure.

“Hey, Trick, if I didn’t know any better, I’d almost say you had a present for me…”

“Hey! No peeking!”

They dissolve into giggles as Doktor cranes around him, trying to see, and Trick contorts his body into increasingly ridiculous poses to hide his coffee, laughing.

Anonymous asked: merry Christmas everyone!! stay safe and happy!!

“Thank you,” replies Dapper politely, smiling brightly at you, and then presents are being pushed into his hands with chatter and excitement. He gets his own constellation light and art supplies, but… wait, these aren’t for him, right? He frowns around at his brothers, who are already distracted by the next present pulled out from beneath the blankets. Confused - and maybe just a little hurt - Dapper pushes the watercolors and colored pencils away from him.

But he’s delighted by his big box of charcoals, pencils, and both the sketchpads they got him. And even better is the little bear, soft as clouds.

He throws himself on Red’s neck for a hug, whistling about his new stuffie. And the photo frame - oh, he’ll draw something perfect for it! How pretty! He hugs Blue too. Sweet dried apples from Dok and Trick and a fan for his hot little room - excellent!

“Holy shit!” Trick bursts into laughter as he pulls out the goofy sweatshirt Dok got him, immediately tugging it on despite the heat. Oh, it even smells like Dok - something pricks in his eyes. He sniffs and hurries to give Dok his coffee, drawing a shout of triumph out of his twin as he lifts it into the air, delighted.

“Thank you, Trick!”

“Course, dude,” he laughs. “Anything for you.”

Red hands Trick the tea he bought him to match, too, and some sunglasses he grabbed from a stand, and a fan for his and Dok’s room. Trick is delighted. And then - oh! The weighted blanket! Blue carries it out of his room for him and Trick immediately buries himself in it, sighing melodramatically at the great relief of the weight and making his brothers laugh. Really, though… he thinks this will help. He thanks them profusely, feeling spoiled.

Dok has one other present for him, too, but he’ll wait til they have a moment alone. He feels like he’s already overwhelmed just by seeing Trick smile at everybody else’s presents - he doesn’t know what he’d do if he cried.

Red gives Dok the logic puzzles, Shakespearian comedy, and the Princess Bride book he grabbed out of the reading section. Deutsch complains that everyone thinks he’s a nerd, but he can’t hide his excitement.

Blue and Red exchange their presents once the others are washing the dishes and cleaning up breakfast. Blue cheers for his new playing cards, but the constellation night light stops him short - he adores it, clutching it in his hands and just beaming at it for the longest time. He calls it cool at least six times and Red smiles every time, laughing at his enthusiasm.

And then -

“Oh, Roser,” gasps Blue, staring at the silver ring in his palm. “Are you kidding? You really got this for me?”

Red laughs, his face a little hot. “Yeah… yeah, haha, it just reminded me so much of you. It just - I know Anti gets you most of your jewelry, but I thought - I just wanted you to have - you know - ”

“I love it,” croaks Blue. “I love it so much, it reminds me of you too, I’ll wear it always, Red.”

Red smiles shyly, his color lighting up his cheeks. “Really?”

“Really.” Blue squeezes his hand and takes the ring from him, smiling bright as the equator sun hits the silver of his new ring. “Really. Thank you so much.”

“Okay, now your stuff!”

Red’s eyes widen at the pretty silver dog tag and he wraps it around his throat, beaming. He laughs at the Spiderman plushie and then they both present each other with matching alpaca stuffies and burst into laughter, drawing closer to each other and knocking their foreheads together in a familiar old show of affection, clutching their new friends to their chests.

“It’s perfect!” beams Blue. “It’s perfect, Red, thank you, it’s all perfect.”

“I agree,” grins Red. “Everything’s perfect, amazing - thank you, everybody. Last but not least, hey! New blankets for everybody. And guess what? Anti got us real ham for dinner, so we’ve got that to look forward to too.”

“Hell yes!” crows Trick, his arms wrapped around Doktor’s shoulders. “Best Christmas ever!”

“Hey,” Dapper knocks for attention. “There’s still Anti’s presents for the three of you, you know.”

bupine asked: ooooooh i wanna see what others presents anti's picked out! so far you've exceeded my expectations honesty, these are pretty decent gifts man. Pixie-in-trebleland asked: go on, guys! Open Anti’s gifts!

“Yeah, my computer rocks,” says Red, sipping some orange juice - yes, real orange juice, another Christmas present from Anti!

“Your computer?” repeats Trick in a squeak, and then he’s bounding towards the backpack and reaching in to the second pouch, fired up now. “I think - oh! Dok, this is yours! Look, man, wow!”

Dok turns about with a “hm?” on his mouth and freezes stiff.

Trick lifts it up, beaming.

It’s a doctor’s coat.

A good, sturdy, quality doctor’s coat.

Red’s eyes almost glow with warmth and pride as he stares up at his brother. He doesn’t know how Anti knew, but he did, he must have. Fuck, Red loves him. Red loves Dok and Trick and Blue and Dapper, and Anti’s the one who provides for all of it.

Shaking, shaking just a little, the good doctor takes the cool, sturdy fabric of the coat into his hands, and wraps it around his shoulders.

Something about it… something about it feels very right.

And Anti was the one who gave it back to him.

Breathing out a sigh of relief, and joy, and gratitude, Doktor smiles around at his brothers. “Okay,” he breathes after a moment, turning back to the backpack. “Here, Blue, your turn. It’s lovely. Catch.”

Blue reaches out on instinct and catches it. His eyes widen.

“Is that - ”

“My mask,” breathes Blue. “He had it painted.”

It’s the white deer mask you saw him wearing once before on their raid, the replacement for the cat mask Anti took away, but it is no longer white. Painted leaves and flowers and swirls of blue fire decorate it from snout to antlers, a beautiful explosion of nature and power depicted on the face of the mask.

“Wow, fancyyy!” calls Trick in a funny voice that sounds familiar and makes them all laugh for no reason.

“It is!”

“I can’t believe he had this done for me!”

“The colors on that are really pretty.”

“Put it on, Blue!”

Blue complies, lifting it over his head and pulling it into place. Ah, the familiar weight of a mask about his eyes! He gets up to look at himself in the mirror above the sink, and maybe it’s pride, but his reflection still stops his short.

He’s never looked more like himself. Not as long as he’s been Anti’s, anyway.

“I love that,” he whispers. “I love that, I love that.”

“Yay,” cheers Dapper, lifting his hands and waving them. “You look wonderful.”

“Awww, Dap-Dap. Thanks, love. Trick, tell us what you got.”

Trick is holding a piece of paper, frowning down at it.

“Um,” he murmurs. “I’m not sure about this.”

“What’s it say?” Red gets up to stand beside him and answers his own question.

“‘Wanted you to have something to look after like you used to,’” he reads. “‘Maybe they were right, and you did need a bigger change than I could give you alone. It’s in the shed.’”

The boys stare at each other, confused.

“The shed?” whispers Dok, anxiety flaming in his stomach. “Are we sure this isn’t… a… I don’t know… trap?”

“Don’t be silly,” laughs Red. He flips the card over.

‘Just keep it fucking clean,’ adds Anti’s scrawling hand-writing, and he chuckles.

Dok has Trick under his arm, looking nervous.

“Oh, come on,” snorts Red. “Here, if you’re so worried, I’ll go see what’s back there, okay?”

“Red, I - I don’t know,” begins Blue.

“You too? Don’t worry about it. I’ll be right back.”

He turns to leave the house, headed towards the shed.

whydoilovesomanyvillians asked: What's in the shed

Alright, mad lads, we hit a follower milestone and a thousand posts today so, as a holiday present to you, I want you to pick….

Kitten or puppy?

dancing-anon asked: AAAAAAAA HI- What if Anti either commissioned or made a doll of each of the boys so they can have their twin with them when they're split up? Imagine Doc having a little Trick doll for when Trick's away, or Red and Blue sleeping together with their dolls in the middle-

Dapper whistles for attention, still bent over the backpack in the middle of the room, while everybody else watches Red go nervously.

“Hey, there’s still something in this front pouch,” he says.

And he draws out a handful of small crochet dolls.

“Holy hell,” breathes Blue, reaching out to snatch up the one in a little red hoodie. “Holy hell, this is cute as fuck!”

“Oh, they’re kind of weird!” cries Doktor, taking the one that looks like Trick. It has a little grey hat and jeans and a t-shirt and tiny Converse on its feet. “Haha, well, okay, that’s kind of funny.”

“Oh my gosh, I love mini Dok,” laughs Trick, picking up the little doll with scrubs and a surgeon’s mask. “Did Anti seriously - there’s no way he made these, right?”

“I don’t know,” laughs Blue. “But these are not store-bought, cause look - ”

He holds up his own.

“It has my painted deer mask and everything!”

Dapper frowns down at the last doll, one dressed all in black, with green hair and a white scarf. He glances up at the others with their twin dolls. There is not a doll of him.

He sets the Anti doll gently on the ground and stares down at it, chewing on his aching, twitching lip.

nikkilbook asked: Dap, why wouldn’t they be for you? You’re the artist. Just cuz you’re colorblind doesn’t mean you can’t make cool stuff with them. Heck, I bet it’d end up looking really neat. It’d be a surprise. And colored pencil and watercolor have such nice textures, hue aside. Why wouldn’t they be yours?

Dapper lets out a breathy little groan and pushes the Anti doll and the watercolors and colored pencils away from him, his stomach hurting a little.

“Honey, what’s wrong?” asks Blue, frowning. “You really don’t want these?”

Dapper gets up and goes to follow Red to the shed, leaving the colored paints and pencils behind.

nikkilbook asked: Guys, you knew Dap was colorblind, right? Like, total greyscale vision. He told us back in Norway. You knew that, right?

“I knew that,” says Trick.

Blue stares at the camera, his mouth slightly open.

“I… have… amnesia?”

Dok groans and buries his face in his hands.

Anonymous asked: Blue...I don’t think dapper feels like he’s very important to anyone really. There wasn’t a doll of him with the others, and then the colored pencils. Plus he doesn’t have a twin like y’all do...one that’s compassionate anyways. Maybe dapper would appreciate the extra love?

“Well, what do you want me to do?” asks Blue, getting to his feet, frowning out after his twin. “Maybe he just needs a moment alone. He can talk to me if he needs something. He knows that, right? Ah, shit, I’ll just go check on him.”

He gets to his feet and opens the back door to the house - just in time to see Dapper turn, stare at him for just a moment, and then crumple to the ground.

“Dapper!” Blue screams, racing towards his little brother.

Anonymous asked: He's not seizing, is he??

“Dap, Dap!” shouts Blue, falling to his knees beside him and hauling his little brother into his arms. To his relief, no, Dapper does not seem to be seizing - he’s conscious, even, looking up at Blue slightly dazed but mostly lucid, reaching up to grab his big brother’s sleeve. “Dap, are you okay? Tell me what’s wrong. Dok, come here!”

“Woozy,” signs Dapper frailly, sinking down in his arms, his eyes rolling back in his head a little.

Anonymous asked: Ah shit it’s the medicine

“It’s the medicine,” repeats Dok in a groan, the second he sees Dap on the ground. “It’s one hundred percent the medicine.”

“It’s cause I used my power yesterday,” signs Dapper wearily, reaching up for Doktor to pick him up. “Tired.”

“Whatever you say,” sighs Dok, pinching the bridge of his nose before reaching down to help Blue get him off the ground. They get him back into the house in quick succession, and a few minutes later, he is laid down cozily on Blue’s mattress, already getting a little color back.

“Just a little faint, right, buddy?” Dok feels his forehead carefully.

“Just a little faint, sir.”

“Don’t - you know I don’t like you calling me that. Shit, Dap… okay, listen, just tell me the second you start to notice anything else weird, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“Why don’t you take a break for a minute, okay?”

“You need anything, bud?” asks Trick from the doorway.

“Yeah,” Blue adds quickly. “Anything you need, you can have. I’ll get it for you. We can look after you, yeah? Anything you need.”

He smiles wide. Dapper looks momentarily confused by the increased attention, but decides to roll with it.

“I want that blanket the little man brought me,” he says.

Doktor blinks. Blue and Trick exchange looks.

“The… little man brought you?” repeats Doktor carefully.

“Yes,” says Dapper, frowning. “The blanket from the box the little man brought. I left it in the living room. I like it, I want it.”

A little worried, Blue nevertheless hurries off to get one of the blankets that was left in the box on their doorstep earlier, trying to push his suspicions aside. What Dapper wants, he can have, especially if he’s feeling neglected.

“Where did you see this little man?” asks Doktor as Dap accepts the blanket and snuggles down in it, immediately looking calmer.

“Oh, just for a second, and then he was gone, right after he dropped the box off. The blue man with the strings on him. He zipped away like that.” He snaps his fingers and smiles up at his brothers. “Magic, like you said, Blue. But I don’t know who he was.”

Disturbed, the trio of older siblings exchange glances.

“We’ll, uh. Leave you alone to rest,” offers Trick. “Try to sleep, okay, bud?”

They leave him alone in Blue and Red’s room. As soon as they’re in the hall, Blue and Trick are staring at Dok.

“What was that about?” whispers Blue.

“He’s seeing things,” warns Trick.

Dok stares at the floor, feeling exhausted.

“Haldol��s wearing off. His new medicine might not have kicked in right. I think… I think he’s hallucinating again.”

“Hey, guys!” comes an eager shout from the shed, and they step into the clinic to see Red approaching again, carrying a box in his hands. “You are not going to fucking believe this!”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: THW EXCITEMENT IS REAL!!!! GO TRICK! GO AND SEE!

Trick leads his brothers to the door just in time to crash into Red as he bursts through, beaming.

“Trick, Trick, Trick, Trick,” he chants, shoving the box into his hands. “Dude, open this!”

Dok and Blue lean around Trick’s shoulder. He pulls the flaps of the box open uncertainly.

“Holy shit.” Dok smiles, clinging to his shoulders. Blue looks like his eyes are about to pop out of his skull. And Trick, holding that box in his arms, stares down at his present and feels his eyes well up with tears.

“Meow?” calls his kitten, with all the air of a toddler indignant at being left in the car too long.

Anonymous asked: Oh wait is it like a cat or something?

“It’s a cat,” whispers Trick, tears trickling down his cheeks. “He got me a real cat.”

He reaches into the box and pulls out his kitten, setting down its smelly cardboard cage, complete with scattered pet mix and a little tupperware cup of water.

“It’s so beautiful.” Trick pulls the kitten to his chest and strokes its soft head, delighted when it rests its paws on his arms and lies down against his heart. “Shit, I - I’m sorry, I don’t mean to - ”

He wipes hastily at his tears, sniffling.

“Aw, buddy,” soothes Blue, rubbing his shoulder while Red sneaks closer to pet the kitten’s head enthusiastically. “It’s okay.”

“This is amazing,” chokes Trick, clutching the kitten’s heat to his chest. “I can’t believe Anti would get this for me. Thank you, guys. For everything. For today, you know? I - I love you all.”

“Aww.” Red claps Trick cheerfully on the back and Blue squeezes his shoulders tight. Best of all, Dok is right there at his side, resting his head slightly against his shoulder, reaching in to scratch at his cat’s chin.

“We love you too,” promises Blue, hugging him, and a chorus of agreement responds from his brothers.

nikkilbook asked: Also what kind of kitty is it is it a f l o o f y kitty how soft is it is it a round kitty or a slinky kitty I must know these things

“It’s this fluffy little shit, definitely more slinky than round.”

“Short-hair,” adds Blue. “Pretty little kitten, really. Far as cats go.”

“It’s a nice gold color,” Dok agrees.

“Yeah, and the stripes are almost like a cheetah’s.” Red pets the kitten all the way down to its tail and it bucks its little butt up against his hand, making tiny mewling noises. “Probably not that old, right? Looks like just a month or two to me!”

Anonymous asked: What’s its name, bud?

“Oh, fuck, I gotta think of a name.” Trick grabs at his hair, groaning. “Ah, I don’t know… Maybe… Hunter? I love that name.”

He grins down at his kitten. Blue and Red exchange skeptical looks.

Anonymous asked: Name Suggestion: French Baguette

“Baguette,” laughs Trick. “Okay, that’s funny. I’ll remember that one.”

Anonymous asked: Pfffft name it Jack

“Oh, Jack is sooo cute!” Trick heaves his cat up and kisses at its forehead, delighted. “I love that! Maybe I’ll go with that one? My little Jack in the box. My little Jack and the beanstalk. My little Jacks… who am I trying to reference right now? Haha, not the most exciting name though.”

bupine asked: hunter? that's an oddly familiar name... do you know it from somewhere?

“I met a kid in Norway named Hunter once!”

Trick pauses, putting the kitten back down on his chest, a small frown crossing his face.

“Maybe I don’t want to remember that night, though. It was a hard night.”

He sticks his hand in his pocket and squeezes on his crinkle paper, thinking.

bupine asked: my friend's cat is legally named garbage disposal but she calls him big steve, how's that for a name suggestion? :DD

“Big Steve,” snickers Trick, petting his kitten enthusiastically. “Hahaha!”

cest-mellow asked: what about honey? they’re a nice gold, right?

“Awwww,” Trick beams at his kitten. “Honey…”

“Okay, okay, we got to have like a voting system or something,” says Blue, waving his hands. “We should all pick suggestions we like and then they can tell us what their favorites are!”

“Okay, yeah!” Trick turns to you, setting his cat on the ground. “Dudes, you should send us a few more names and then we’ll pick five we like for you to choose from. Does that sound good?”

Anonymous asked: I have a friend who named her stuffed cat mashed potatoes so I mean, I’m sure whatever name you decide on will be just as great lol

“Mash potato….. amazing.” Trick is living for this.

bupine asked: is the cat a boy or a girl?

“Oh, good question!”

Doktor leans down to pick the kitten up and open up its tiny legs, earning himself an indignant meow.

“Looks like a boy to me.”

“Cutie!” Trick takes his kitten back. He can’t seem to put him down.

Anonymous asked: Sam?

Blue gasps. “Perfect for a little tiny golden boy like this. Samwise, maybe, as a full name? I love that.”

Blue really likes that one.

cest-mellow asked: sully, beans, and honey are my suggestion!

“Sully is so cute,” laughs Dok.

“Yeah, and I love Beans,” snorts Red. “This little tike is cute as hell.”

nikkilbook asked: Don’t forget to show Dap the little kitty!

“Oh, right!”

Trick dashes down the hallway and halfway throws himself onto the mattress next to Dapper. “Dap, look!”

Dapper sits up straight and tries not to faint backwards, delighted.

“Real?” asks his hands rapidly.

“Yeah, man, look at him!”

Trick holds the kitten out and Dapper is momentarily overwhelmed, waving his hands in frantic SL applause. He takes the kitten gently from his brother and hugs it to his chest, curling in over it gratefully, protectively. The kitten meows and turns its head up to lick at Dapper’s chin, drawing tiny giggles out of his chest.

“A remarkably friendly cat,” comments Dok from the doorway, sipping on some coffee he made himself.

Red and Blue have stayed in the kitchen, taking a moment to chill out after the morning’s business. Red sits back in his chair with Blue at his side and wonders why he still can’t seem to feel calm.

Anonymous asked: Saorise? It means freedom in Irish

“Saoirse is a beautiful old name,” Trick murmurs, running his knuckles over his kitten’s head. He pronounces it Seer-sha. “I love that. Usually for girls, but I wouldn’t mind.”

nikkilbook asked: ...Red? Are you doing okay? You have a pretty hard time of it yesterday, and I bet your stomach still hurts pretty bad. Have Blue give you a hug from me.

Blue glances at your message and then over at Red, frowning. He reaches out to rub his shoulder, and when Red only closes his eyes, he gets up and wraps himself around Red’s shoulders, carefully avoiding his skin and pressing his head to his brother’s shoulder.

“Hey. You okay?”

Red digs his nails into the table, trying to keep his voice light.

“Yeah… yeah, fine. Just a little… shaky, I guess.”

“You don’t feel well? Your stomach hurts you? You still concussed?”

Red presses his lips together and closes his eyes. “No, no. Just… I don’t know. I feel… I’m fine.”

spicydanhowell asked: red, you're shaking because you've been through trauma. that's why you had a nightmare too. it'll take a little while for you to calm down, trust me. let your brothers take care of you, and try to take it easy. you'll feel a bit better with time.

Red stares at you, his eyes brightening a little as some extra wetness wells up in his eyes.

“Honey,” murmurs Blue.

“No, no, I’m fine,” Red rasps, pushing him gently away. “It’s okay. I’ll just… I’ll just take it easy, yeah.”

“And let me take care of you,” adds Blue, grinning at him.

Red laughs shakily. “We’ll see.”

“I’ll get started on some dinner for everyone, okay? Let’s get that ham cooking. You’ll feel better with some meat in your poor stomach.”

Red watches him turn towards the fridge, listening to him humming, his chest warming up, though his hands can’t seem to stop shaking.

Bupine asked: i looked up dumb cat names, so far i've found shrek, pot noodle, pikachu, armchair, and dog. dunno if any of these are any good but i thought they'd make you laugh at least fhdhjfdjfh. Bupine asked: I like beans. Bacon is also a funny one and fits with the theme that’s going on

Trick is cracking up. Doktor is just shaking his head at you from the doorway, trying and failing to look disapproving.

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Ooooohhhh Beans is a cute name! Or Sam or Mitts orrrr.....I dunno. Something cute and floofy!

“Mitts,” whispers Trick, trying every name out by bonking his forehead against the kitten’s. “Beans.”

nikkilbook asked: Why don’t we ask Dap for suggestions? He’s great at naming stuff.

“Dap, what you think?”

Dapper is kissing at the kitten’s face.

“What?”

Trick laughs, watching the cat climb up his brother’s chest.

“What do you think the cat’s name should be?”

Dapper pauses, staring down into those big green eyes.

“Could name him… Simba?”

nikkilbook asked: There’s always “croissant.” As in “stoooop! I coulda dropped my croissant!” Or the really low hanging fruit of “fluffy.”

“Croissant!”

You’ve broken Dok’s carefully arranged appearance of disinterest. He folds over himself, laughing.

“Croissant, okay… that’s a good one.”

Anonymous asked: Awwwwwwww I literally just watched the lion king and honestly that’s a fitting name. Nice job Dappy

“Why, thank you,” nods Dapper proudly, perking up.

Anonymous asked: Mr. Meowgi

“Haha! The Neko Atsume cat!”

“No, Trick, it’s a reference to - never mind.

Anonymous asked: "I-I'm not a hallucination.. That's not very nice, you know.." -PF!H

Blue pauses in his cooking prep to frown at you, uncertain now. He glances back at Dap and at the hiding place under the sink.

“Well, how about you just stay away from my brother,” he mutters, not sure why he’s angry. “You’re just a voice in a camera. You don’t know the first thing about my family.”

He sees that image again, of the smiling family, and the tall puppet with the sorceror’s staff…

He hisses and turns away, ignoring a confused look on him from Red.

This is who he’s supposed to be. This is the only person he was ever meant to be. There is no one else.

nikkilbook asked: Hey, y’all got Trick a weighted blanket, right? Do you think he’d mind if you got under it for a little bit? I know that helps me. You don’t have to be fine all at once. You can take a second and not be fine. Blue and Trick and Dap and Dok can be your watch dogs for the next little bit.

“That’s a good idea,” says Blue, grateful for a distraction. “Red, you want the heavy blanket?”

“The heavy blanket?”

“Yeah, like the weighted one.”

“I don’t know. It’s hot in here already.”

“Come on, it’s supposed to be nice pressure.”

“Oh, yeah?”

Blue picks up Trick’s blanket from the pile of blankets and comes to drape it over Red’s shoulders. Red hums, relieved by the weight more than he expected, and sinks back in his chair, letting out a deep breath.

“Now put your whole weight on me.”

Blue laughs and slings himself over his shoulders, adding to the comforting weight on Red’s strong shoulders.

“You smell like dust and orange juice,” whispers Red.

“I’m not sure that’s a compliment,” Blue whispers back.

“Me neither,” whispers Red, and bursts into giggles.

“Hey! Haha!”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Totoro!!!

Instantly, from the other room, you hear Red begin to sing, at the top of his lungs, “Totoro, Totoro! Totoro, Totoro!”

He likes that one pretty well.

Anonymous asked: “It’s an avocado! Thaaaaanks”

Doktor frowns and looks down at the kitten between Trick and Dapper.

“Um, well, it’s a kitten, actually.”

randowaffle asked: Name the cat Hugs- :D

“Hugs! Exactly what it deserves!” Trick squishes his cat to his chest enthusiastically. It seems to be getting used to him, because it doesn’t object, pressed up to his heart.

pixie-in-trebleland asked: What's on your mind, Red?

“Mhh,” grumbles Red, rubbing his forehead, where the bruise still burns against his forehead. “Nothing, really, that’s the odd part… feel like… there’s just buzzing in my head. And I can’t think, I just keep circling back to… it’s okay.”

Anonymous asked: So glad that the boys are getting a mostly happy day!

“We are, aren’t we?” Doktor sips his coffee and gives the deepest sigh of relief at the taste, sinking back against the doorframe, watching his little brothers play. “Thank you, yes. A little stress, but we can handle that. Nothing we’re not used to, after all.”

“We are having an amazing day,” laughs Trick, beginning to get a little wet-eyed over his kitten again. “Dok, you got a name you like for the kitten?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, I want to film you saying it so they can choose which one they like.”

Trick gets up, holding the camera.

“They might have other suggestions,” laughs Dok.

“I’m sorry!” groans Trick. “I don’t have the patience! I gotta name my kitty!”

“Haha, okay, okay, fair enough.”

I then listed everyone’s favorite name in different posts and let people vote by leaving notes.

Dok likes Croissant.

Dap likes Simba.

Red likes Totoro.

Blue likes Sam.

Trick likes Noodle.

Anti likes Saoirse. He thinks that’s very funny.

nikkilbook asked: Pick something to focus on. Like the kitty or your little alpaca dude or your dog tag or the games on your computer. When my head buzzes, it’s like... radio static, I guess. Nothing’s coming in super clear, and anything that does come in is unpleasant, and it’s like my head’s just full of bees. And so if I can pick something to ground the signal, it helps the bees go away. It helps it there’s something tactile involved. Make the new thing as big as the buzzing.

Red sighs and clutches at the weighted blanket, trying to listen. He doesn’t know if there’s anything to be done about this painful numbness, this all-consuming emptiness, but he doesn’t want to be downcast on a day when they’re all supposed to be happy. Anyway, it’s not like he can let anybody but Blue see him like this. He breathes in and out, slow, and listens to Blue frying strips of ham on the stovetop, cooking rice with bits of egg and even some veggies in it to go along, and focuses in on the smell of good food.

Blue finishes lunch, humming quietly to give his big brother something to focus on. Red kneads his fingers into the ginger alpaca he’s been given and rubs it up and down his wrists, sinking down onto the table in the clinic as he works to calm himself. He can’t really do anything about this shuddering that seems to exist right beneath his heart, but he can, at least, keep it together for now, and try to enjoy the rest of the day, even if he feels far apart from it all.

“Help me load this up,” Blue asks, passing him one of their three plates, and Red stands to help dish up enough ham and rice for all five of them, leaving one plate ham-free.

“Should I get the others to eat?”

“Let’s go eat in our room. Dapper’s feeling dizzy.”

“Oh, goddamn,” mumbles Red, frowning towards his room. “Dok giving him anything?”

“I don’t know if there’s anything he can do… too much of that new medicine in his system, or maybe too little of the old one… I think he might have been seeing things earlier.”

Red jolts, nearly dropping the rice. “Blue, that’s no joke.”

“I know, I know.”

“You understand that Carver having another snap would be, like, the worst possible thing that could happen?”

“Sometimes he just gets a little confused, right? Maybe this time it won’t be so violent.”

“No, we gotta to put a stop to this, we gotta make sure he doesn’t - ”

“Red,” Blue cuts him off firmly. “Quiet day, yeah? Nice, quiet day. Dapper’s already stressed without big brother losing it too.”

Red sighs. Breathe in, breathe out.

“Okay. Yeah.”

They carry lunch in to their brothers and are greeted with enthusiastic praise of Blue’s cooking. Been a long time since the four of them had good strips of meat. Blue wishes Anti thought to get chicken or beef or something, but Doktor doesn’t complain in the slightest when he’s handed his plate full of rice, eggs, and veggies. Blue claps him on the shoulder, warmed by his little brother’s steadfast calm.

“So what did you decide to name your kitten?” Red asks, leaning over to offer the little golden cat a tiny piece of ham.

Red can see from the way Trick is trying to pull himself together that it’s something stupid, or funny at least.

“Oh no,” groans Blue, trying not to laugh at the huge smile on Trick’s face.

“His name,” Trick halfway-wheezes. “Is - ”

He breaks down into laughter and pulls his kitten to his chest, stroking its head.

“P-pot Noodle,” he manages finally.

Red bursts into the laughter over the sound of Blue’s complaining. Doktor has his face in his hands, his shoulders shaking from laughter, and Dapper claps his hands together as he laughs and makes a little noodle-cat sign name for the newcomer, which only makes Trick laugh harder, kissing at Pot Noodle’s head.

It’s a good day.

Dapper spends most of it too dizzy to get up, so his brothers stay with him most of the day, playing with Blue’s new cards and reading new books and getting together everything they need to take care of Noodle and keep him away from Anti. They’re all full and, for once, cool from the fans, and Anti doesn’t protest at the five of them spending the whole day together like they usually would. Red and Blue go to refill their water and Dok gives Trick his final present - that lovely ocean music box.

Trick finds it difficult to react. He doesn’t want to cry in front of Dok again. They end up pressed into each other’s arms for a long time, just holding on.

“I love you, Dok.”

“I - I love you too, Trick, I love you.”

They’ll sleep easy at each other’s sides.

Red is a little more anxious to go to sleep - he doesn’t want a repeat of last night - but when he notices a reluctance in Dapper to return to Anti’s side, he finds his strength again. He has to set a good example for his little brother. So he helps Dap walk back to the room at the end of the hall, and coaxes him through a quick moment of panic, and leads him back into Anti’s bed before returning to his own.

Oh, what a day.

“Good day?” asks Blue softly, lying down beside him.

They have blankets to sleep with for once. They have alpaca toys and full bellies and even a little money under the sink to reassure Red he’ll be able to provide for his family in the days to come, too. They have everything they need.

This aching feeling in his chest has to pass soon, right?

“Yeah,” he whispers, reaching out to clutch his brother’s hand. “Really good. Really good. I’m glad I got to be here for it.”

“Me too,” whispers Blue. “Me too.”

Anonymous asked: Hey, Dap, I know you're more than a little worried about what the future will hold for you. But we're not gonna let you be all alone again, alright? We're looking out for you, and we can always pass messages between you and your brothers if you want us to. You won't be isolated, and you won't be forgotten, and you definitely won't be unloved. We're in your corner and on your side, and we'll do whatever we can to make sure you're safe and comfortable and *properly* medicated, once we can.

Awake most of the night, Dapper stares over at you in the dark, reading the message over and over again.

He nods shakily.

“Thank you.”

He thinks he sees something move in the shadows and he jumps hard, curling in closer to Anti’s side, practically hiding underneath him.

“Not isolated, not forgotten, not unloved…”

He doesn’t want to be in this room anymore.

“Not going to be all alone again…”

He covers his face with his hands. “Properly medicated. This is all my fault. I want my Haldol. I should never have hit him. Maybe I was delusional… He could take care of me if I had just been good. Now I can’t have my medicine. I don’t want to lose my mind again.”

badlypostedeverything asked: Dap, try to stay calm. Maybe imagine all of the fluffy animals you could look after if you ran away and became a farmer

“Probably end up slitting their throats thinking they’re monsters,” Dap’s hands sign, unnervingly calmly, his pupils a little blown even as the sun begins to rise. “Cows and sheep and dogs and chickens. Probably Trickshot should keep his kitten away from me.”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Dap, it isn't your fault, you know. You're not a monster.

“Oh, nothing ever is my fault, or that’s what everyone tells me. Like I haven’t done horrible things. At one point am I accountable? Am I so helpless that the blood washes right off my hands? Wasn’t I the one who did the things that I did?

“What is a monster if not a man who does monstrous things?”

nikkilbook asked: Dap, things can go pear-shaped when medication isn’t right. I’ve had it happen, and it’s no fun. But there’s two things I want you to remember, okay? One, you’re not a bad person for reacting poorly to meds or having a psychotic episode. That’s stuff on a molecular level and nothing to do with you as a person. And two, Anti’s the one who decided to jack up your medicine and play god with your neurology. Regardless of what you did, he’s the one who chose this. It’s on him, not you.

“Anti’s just trying to help. Sometimes he’s overzealous, but I wouldn’t be able to figure it out on my own. I’m too stupid to decide on my own.”

He chews on his nails for a minute, thinking.

“I should be able to handle myself better. I don’t know why my old master made me like this.”

Anonymous asked: The things you're feeling are a lot for anyone to handle, Dap. You're doing the best you can with what's available to you, and that's okay. You're doing good. Do you know of anything that's made you feel better when you've been off the Haldol before? Things will improve in the future, but if there's something we can do to help in the meantime, we'd like to.

Dapper thinks, staring up at the ceiling.

“I… don’t know. Things got better when… when Anti gave him to me.”

Anonymous asked: Dap, frankly it doesn't matter if you've done bad things. Some people have to in order to survive, and one day, maybe you can afford to be a better person. But right now we're proud of how tough and clever you are, good or bad.

“Is that what morality is? Convenience? Does survival trump it? Is this what my soul is worth - the warmth at Anti’s side? Just to avoid death? Was I such a coward that survival was worth doing terrible things?”

He chuckles to himself, shaking his head in the dark.

“It does matter… it does. I’m not a child, it matters. And someday… what comfort does someday have for me? I will only ever be Anti’s - or maybe, someday, Hell’s. And what, my friends, is the difference in the end?”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: We all do bad things from time to time, Dapper. You just need to take it easy. Are you feeling any better?

“I feel pretty nauseous, actually. I hope Anti wakes up soon and takes care of me. I like it when he fusses over me.”

Anonymous asked: Your “old master” had you for roughly about 18 minutes and at from that moment on anything and everything you are has been drastically manipulated by Anti. You are wildly fierce and intelligent and no amount of static will take that away from you. Don’t be afraid to acknowledge your own feelings and judgements, Jameson, they are so heccin important. And so are you. We love you very much.

“18 minutes?”

Dapper pauses, frowning at you.

“My… that doesn’t sound right.”

He stares out the window, where the sun is rising.

“If he only had me for 18 minutes, what is the house I remember? Who are the people that look like Red and Blue and Dok and Trickshot? I remember… I remember cat masks and black and white bedsheets, flowers underneath the porch, Nerf guns, trees, the lull of his accent, watching movies on the couch, lying beside someone I’ve forgotten and talking about everything and nothing, the stars at night…”

Dapper sighs, rubbing at his face.

“But maybe my mind plays more tricks on me.

“You say such kind things about me… thank you. I hope to prove it true some day. I’m glad you’re here. I hope you’ll remember me well, if I lose myself again.��

Anonymous asked: No, you're not a child, but you're not a man with a lot of options either. If you are a monster, at least someone loves you anyway. If your brothers can forgive you, maybe you can forgive yourself eventually.

“Yes… I suppose that’s worth consolation. I like to think somebody loves me. Anti does, at least. And the others won’t abandon me, at least. I don’t think they would. Anti would be angry.”

Anonymous asked: Why does it matter so much to you if you're a bad person or not, Dap? What would it mean to you if you were bad?

Dap stares at you for a moment, bewildered.

“Well, that’s a very strange question to me.”

He pauses, thinking.

“I guess bad people don’t get to be happy. You have to be a good person to be happy. You have to do kind things to other people and not… hurt everybody all the time. And if I’m a bad person, what’s the point of all this? Why should I even be alive if all I do is hurt everybody all the time? Sometimes I save Red or help Trick, but for the most part… it’s like all my existence does is bring pain into the world. What does it matter if I’m a bad person is like asking what would it mattered if I just died?”

His mouth trembles for a moment. He wipes at his eyes, trying to breathe.

Anonymous asked: So, you’re saying you’re not happy here?

Dapper groans and hides his face, shaking his head.

“Please don’t say things like that…”

badlypostedeverything asked: Dapper, even the fact that you feel regret and think you are a bad person means that you aren't. A truly bad person wouldn't feel that, he would look back on bad things and feel joy. It's all Anti who is doing bad things through you. One day you'll be free to live your own life so hang in there

“I don’t know if I ever bought into that… but maybe. Anti… Anti does what he believes to be right. He’s not so bad. Anyway, he has regrets, I see them, even when no one else is looking. So maybe neither of us are so bad.”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Life is about a balance, hun. There has to be bad to balance the good. And as much bad as you've done, think of how much good you have also done. Think of how many times you have SAVED your brothers.

“I do save my brothers… I’m the only one who can, sometimes.”

Anonymous asked: Dapper, bad people don’t care about their actions and question the morality of it all. Chances are, you’re not bad if you’re this worried over it. Besides, if you could, would you try to change your actions? It’s not in your control right now. It will be someday, but that day hasn’t arrived yet.

Dapper whimpers and wrings his hands, staring up at the ceiling. “Don’t know how much longer I can take… don’t know if this will ever end. Have to stay with my master.”

Anonymous asked: So do you think maybe people can change for the better? That maybe even though they were bad before, they can leave that behind and work towards bringing good things into the world rather than pain like you said?

Dapper sighs, thinking.

“Yes… I have to believe that. Of course people can change. Right? I don’t know. Maybe we’re just stuck with who we are. Maybe the badness doesn’t go away. I mean, can I ever really right all the wrongs I’ve done? Can I bring back the people I’ve killed?”

He stares at the ceiling. He’s often thoughtful. Sometimes it haunts him.

“I suppose maybe someday I - ”

Dapper jolts, sitting up straight and staring at the corner, grabbing at his racing heart.

“What was that?”

You didn’t see anything.

Dapper clutches nervously at Anti’s shirt, his face losing color in the dawn light.

nikkilbook asked: What did you see, Dap? Describe it to us as best you can. It’s gonna be okay. Florenceisfalling asked: dap, are you hallucinating? Pixie-in-trebleland asked: what was what, Dapper?

“No, forget it, no, forget it.”

Dap’s eyes are huge with panic, his head rolls as he looks around the room, panting.

“It’s the big red man with the huge eyes, he stares at me, I hate him, I want him to leave me alone.”

“Dap,” mumbles a voice beside him, and then Anti’s hand is sliding around his stomach, though Dapper barely responds. “C’mere, what’s the matter…”

spicydanhowell asked: jamie... i've never seen you do a bad thing, but if you believe that you are bad, i respect that, but i also disagree. i think that if you could just be free of anti, you would be able to do good things. your heart is good, and that's what matters. your brothers have all had to do terrible things, but they're all good people anyway. please don't give up.

“No, you haven’t seen it, I suppose. There’s a great many things you haven’t seen. Anti didn’t always keep me in a little room alone. The days when it was just the two of us…. he thinks I don’t remember. But I get flashes of them, sometimes. They haunt me.”

Dapper wipes at his eyes, still shaken from what he saw, sniffling.

“I think maybe there are some evils so big that you can’t ever wash them away. I wish I could justify this or make it right but I’m not sure I ever will. Seems like every time I start to come back to myself I’m just washed away again by - ”

“Dap, you fucker, you’re such a tiny existentialist, I swear. Little pest.”

Anti drags himself sitting up beside him and Dapper jolts, clutching at his shoulder, panting. Anti regards him warmly, a fond sort of annoyed, and Dapper reaches out shakily to rub his brother’s beard. In response, Anti’s scruff thickens and grows, his hair pulling back into a small bun, until Dapper can tug at the long hair of his beard, a small smile flickering on his pale mouth.

“What the hell are you idiots talking about?” asks Anti, roughing up his hair. “Listen to you, such a depressing little ponderer. You ruminate like a cow. You always have.”

Dapper sniffs quietly, leaning down to put his head on Anti’s shoulder.

“Talking about… being a good person.”

Anti lets out a huff and rolls his eyes, running his fingers through Dapper’s hair.

“This again. Such a little existentialist, such a little worrier. Stop being such a downer, you think they all want to watch you cry?”

“You like to watch me cry.”

Anti barks out a laugh. “Got me there. Sometimes. Right now you’re being stupid. Come on, what did you do the other night?”

Dapper’s eyes water.

“I stabbed that man.”

“No. Don’t focus on that. What did you do for Red?”

“For Red?”

“Yeah.”

“Helped him?”

“Yeah. You saved him. Did you have any other choice but to kill that man? He had Red pinned to the ground. He and his friends were going to take him away. You stopped him, Dapper. You did that. And what would have happened if you didn’t?”

“Well, they would take Red - ”

“And then who would protect the rest of us? Who would fetch us everything we need? Who would lead your brothers? You did what you had to do. Darling, we all do what we have to do. You act in self-defense. You act justly. That’s not evil, is it?”

“I - no, I guess not.”

“There you go then. Stop stressing.”

“What about the time I stabbed you?”

Anti smiles wickedly.

“Well, I paid you right back for that, yes?”

He pokes the wound in his back and Dapper gasps, laughing painfully.

“So we’re good. It’s forgiven. All of it is. No more stress, my little soldier. Once everything’s under control, we’ll all be happy again.”

Dapper curls up against Anti’s chest, sighing.

Anti looks up at you.

His eyes are cold.

“So,” he signs to you, in silence. “You haven’t seen my little boy do horrible things? You still believe your Jameson exists, somewhere under this haggard surface?”

He sits back, dragging Dapper closer to him.

“Maybe I ought to show you just what the child is capable of. If goodness exists, Dapper does not possess it.”

Anonymous asked: Boys, if any of you are awake, I’m pretty sure Dapper is hallucinating again.

Red stirs at the beeping on his camera, awoken from a fitful sleep.

“Hmm?” He wipes at his eyes. “He’s - really? Does he need me?”

anonymous asked: The world isn't so black and white. There's all kinds of greys and there is color in every shade. (yes, I realize how false and ironic that sounds given that you're color-blind, but you'll just have to trust me on that one.) You can find good in bad places and vice versa. Splitting a picture into two-tones doesn't allow you to see the whole thing. Life is ugly and incomplete in some areas, but strikingly beautiful in others. And all together it makes something that is uniquely YOU

“There’s a sweet one,” purrs Anti. “Right, Dap? Still good things to be found in the darkness.”

Dapper sighs, trying to believe it.

Anonymous asked: That’s rough, man. But at least you keep going, that takes a lot of strength. It’s been a pretty eventful day though, did you like your gifts?

“How about that, Dap? Did you like them?”

Dapper gets up, wiping at his eyes. “Oh - yes, Anti. My knife.”

“Good. What else did the boys get you?”

“A bear!”

“A bear, huh?”

“Yeah, I - I think I left it in Trick’s room. I love it, though!”

“We can fetch it in a little while.”

“And a picture frame, and a sketchbook and things. They forgot I was colorblind, but maybe I can still try the paints.”

Anti laughs, rubbing his back. “That’s funny. I can’t forget that. Stepping into your body is like stepping into a black-and-white film.”

“Yeah.” Dapper runs his fingers along Anti’s hands, a little calmed.

Anonymous asked: "..Well.. I think you're pretty great, Jamie." -PF!H

“Oh.” Dapper perks up, clapping his hands a little. “Thank you! I think you’re very nice too.”

Anti frowns at the camera. “Who are you talking to?”

“The little man. He’s friendly.”

Anti’s eyes narrow dangerously. “…Right.”

badlypostedmusicals asked: Hey Anti, when you wake up can I ask you a question? You mentioned that Unus Annus was a few years ago, what year is it now?

“I’m six,” says Anti. “You do the math. I don’t really like to talk about time, he gets confused.”

He pets at Dapper’s hair, tugging it past his ears.

“Look how long this is getting! Need to get it cut.”

“I kind of like it long, it curls a little.”

“Haha. You look like a hooligan. I’ll get Dok to cut it for you, I think.”

immabethehero asked: Six years old? That's weord to think about...

Anti smiles. For once, it actually looks genuine.

“Yeah… yeah, kind of weird. I’m not at all the same person I was when I was young. I’m not the same person he made me. I think - ”

Dapper gives a sudden gasp, burrowing into his chest so hard Anti makes an audible “oof,” clutching at his injured back.

“Little fucker!” he snaps, grabbing at his hair. “What was that for?”

Dapper clutches at his shoulders, panting.

“Something touched me!”

“Nothing touched you, you little spazz. Fuck. Calm down. Let’s get you some more medicine, huh?”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Honestly Red, I think Dap could use a friend right now.

Red gets to his feet and - fuck, he always forgets the door is locked.

He sighs, rubbing his face. He could sneak out his window and over to Dapper’s, but he won’t do that unless it’s an emergency. He would be in a lot of trouble - or Blue would, more likely.

Anonymous asked: Is giving Dap an overdose of medication he is not used to your way of showing us "what he's capable of?" Because if so, screw you!!

“Nah, he just needs his medicine to stop the psychosis, and it pisses the lot of you off, which is an added bonus!”

Anti gets up to get the medicine out of his drawer.

whydoilovesomanyvillians asked: Doc said he should have less then last time because of the physical effects it had on him

“What, the twitching? I’m not that worried about that. Dap’s tough, you know.”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Are you really willing to harm him to spite us?

“Well, I think we both know the answer to that.”

nikkilbook asked: Dap collapsed today, Anti. You told me that if the dose you were giving him hurt him, you’d change it. You were so quick to get rid of the Percocet; why is Dapper’s well-being suddenly worth less than Trick’s? Your move, a-hole.

“Collapsed,” mumbles Anti, something flickering across his face. He heads toward the camera, and you lose contact as he rewinds through his footage.

Anonymous asked: Anti you’ll end up killing him if you keep this up. Tone it down a bit, will ya?

“How about half, that should be fine. He had a pretty bad reaction to the Haldol at first too, you know. Come here, Dap-Dap.”

reverseblackholeofwords asked: He might not be so tough when you do permanent damage by screwing with his body and his brain!

“Oh, come on, you bastards. Doktor worries too much, that’s all this is. I’ve read the experimental reports myself and the chances of permanent damage aren’t even that high. If he gets really bad I can stop.”

Anonymous asked: How about none for now? Let him ride off the side effects of the large dose you gave him this morning

“That was yesterday morning. And he’s hallucinating.”

Anonymous asked: Well why don’t you ask the MEDICAL professional in the household what is best for him?

Anti swears and stomps his foot like a child, shaking his head.

“Fucking Dok is useless these days! He can’t save anyone!”

Anonymous asked: RED!! Dok!!! Anti is trying to give Dapper more medicine. You promised you’d stop him! Anonymous asked: Red, Anti is trying to give Dap more medicine… I understand that you could get in trouble but… you’ve got to do something. Please.

“Oh, shit, oh, shit,” hisses Red, backing away from his door.

He promised. He promised. He doesn’t want to see his little brother sick again.

“Red?” calls Blue sleepily. “Why you’re up?”

Red swears and leaps over his brother’s mattress, tugging open the window, fighting the broken padlock.

“I’m sorry,” he tells his little brother, and then he is out the window, ignoring Blue’s frightened cry behind him. He races around the house and decides not to just leap into Anti’s bedroom, but comes around the front, in through the hallway, and begins banging on Anti’s door.

“Hey, hey, Anti!” he cries, yanking on the handle. “Wait, please, please, don’t give Dap any more of that!”

He shouldn’t have made Dapper sleep in his bed. At least he would have had an excuse for that!

“Anti, talk to me, please, I just need a moment to - ”

The door opens.

Anti stares at Red, his gaze very dangerous.

“What,” he whispers. “Are you fucking doing, little hero?”

Red swallows, licking his lips.

Anonymous asked: Why not ask Dok? He seemed a little freaked out when he found out what the dose was yesterday.

“D - Dok says 12 mg is way too much,” Red stammers, shifting on his feet. “Can we talk about this for a second?”

“How the hell did you get out of your room?”

Red withers beneath his gaze.

“The window, Anti.”

“The window,” repeats Anti, very softly. “The locked window.”

nikkilbook asked: Doc said it needs to be a slow buildup, and that technically you should be slowly phasing him off the Haldol and onto the Fanapt.

“Anti,” manages Red. “Master. I just thought - couldn’t you let Doktor handle his medicine? I know you’re worried about it. If anything went wrong, you can punish me and Dok all you want, but I think we can handle it. I want Dapper to be healthy too, but too much medicine at once is making him really sick. I think they’re right about a slow build-up - ”

“Where the hell do you get off?” hisses Anti. “Correcting me?”

He steps into the hallway. Red takes a step back, licking at his lips, but when he speaks, he keeps his voice steady.

“I just don’t want to see Dap get sick anymore. You’re ill and you can’t watch him as closely as you want to right now. Anti, please. I’m asking you as your inferior, as someone who trusts you to take care of his family - let Doktor handle it.”

Anti crosses his arms over his chest.

“I know about the chain,” he says flatly.

Red’s mouth dries.

“I know about everything. The money hidden under the sink. Doktor sleeping in your room. Broken windows. Glowing hands. The doubt you whisper when you think I can’t hear you.”

Red tries to breathe. Red tries to find his calmness.

He thinks it has abandoned him.

“I always hear it, Red. I always see it. I’m always watching. And you, my little soldier, my right hand, my strong right hand - you have begun to slip.”

“No… Anti, I… that’s not - ”

“You don’t discipline anyone anymore. You let them all say whatever they want. Let them roam, let them sleep where they choose. You conspire against me, making promises to Doktor against my wishes, hiding Blue’s magic from me. Like you don’t trust me. Like you aren’t meant to lead them, to set an example for following the rules, to discipline when the rules are broken. And yet you’re so worried about me, aren’t you, precious? Oh, I take too much stress on myself? Maybe I wouldn’t have to if you would remember your fucking place and put your brat little brothers back in their places!”

Red is frozen stiff. Anti circles him, his eyes deeply black.

“You’ve forgotten your cruelty. The only thing I ever liked about you.”

A pang of hurt in Red’s chest. He swallows it down.

“You’re supposed to be my little enforcer. Before I gave you Blue, you would slap Trick and Doktor just for looking at you funny. You ignored the brat in the attic entirely, trusting him to my care. Hated Trick’s whining and Doktor’s cold, pathetic silences. Look at you now.”

“I thought - I thought - ” Red swallows, struggling to find the words. “I thought you gave me Blue to help us keep all six of us together. I thought we were supposed to be a family.”

Anti leans in, very close.

Red can feel the unbeatingness of his heart.

“Family,” he whispers. “Is a lie I tell the insufferable little maggots that you call brothers. You, Red - you are supposed to know better.”

He draws away again. Red struggles to breathe. Anti sets a hand, very gently, on his shoulder.

“Why don’t you come with me outside for a moment?” he says, his voice silky soft. “It’s time you and I had a little talk.”

Anonymous asked: Gosh some how that’s even more terrifying than what Anti is normally like

“When I was a child,” recites Anti coldly. “I spoke as a child, I felt as a child, I reasoned as a child.”

Anti grabs Red by the back of the hoodie and hauls him towards the door. Red gasps but makes no other outcry, stumbling after him, his obedient eyes squeezed tightly shut.

“Now that I am a man, I have put away childish things. Now that I am a man, I no longer threaten idly behind a camera screen, add error signs to videos, or watch benignly from the back of a car.

“Now that I am a man, dear viewers, actions have consequences.”

He drags Red out of the house.

nikkilbook asked: What is my life? Ooh... Am I doing this right? Ooh! I just realized that I might not know what the hell is going on... fool me once, fool me twice. But I’m still gonna try! Oh! I’m gonna carry on! Oh! You can break these bones of mine, I’m still the champion! What is my life? This game-game-game is designed to play badly, and that’s not how a game should be. What if this is reality? And out here is the dream? I don’t even know—just be the best you can be! What is my life? (For you, Dap.)

You find Dapper sniffling in the back room, curled in on himself, signing an apology over and over again.

He tries to remember the old song you sing him.

florenceisfalling asked: dapper, this is off-topic, but uh. i know you don't think the colored art supplies will work for you, but you know, i think they'd be neat. that way, the picture you make will look completely different to you than to everyone else, and you have your own unique way of seeing it! and i'm sure all of your art will look nice! kinda symbolic i guess haha

“Y-yeah.”

Dapper wipes rapidly at his face, trying to keep it together, though, to be quite honest, he looks completely miserable. “Yeah, maybe they will be cool, I’ll play around with the different colors. I - I want to go get them right now.”

He staggers to his feet and heads towards the open door, covering his ears. He’s afraid that if he doesn’t, he will hear the sound of Red crying out.

Anonymous asked: Try to stay calm bud, morning comes soon and then you can see the others.

“Okay. Okay. I want to sit with Trick and Dok and Noodle and go back to sleep.”

Anonymous asked: Anti, please give Dapper some time to adjust to not having any medicine. Going from one medicine to another is very dangerous, and it would be bad to have him out of commission while he deals with hallucinations.

Dapper wanders into the hall wearily, heading towards the clinic for his new watercolors, desperate for a distraction. He’s focused enough that he doesn’t even notice when the locks on the doors click, and Trick and Doktor’s opens, and a second later -

He rams hard into Doktor’s chest, gasping.

“Dapper!” cries Dok, grabbing his shoulders. “What’s wrong, why are you crying?”

Dapper looks up at him, shell-shocked, tears streaming down his face.

“Are you okay, kleiner bruder? Dap, I just got a message on my camera, it’s going to be okay, Anti says I can take care of your medicine. They’re right, they must have convinced him it was dangerous, he says I can handle it.”

Dapper sniffles, rubbing at his face.

“Oh, buddy, what’s wrong?”

Dapper lets himself crash into Doktor’s chest, hiding his face in his big brother’s shoulders.

“Them and Red,” he sobs. “Now he’s in trouble because of me.”

Doktor pauses, startled, but he does his best to wrap his arms around Dapper.

“What’s going on?” murmurs Trick’s voice from beside him.

“Red promised me.” Dok stares out towards the door of the house, anxious breaths fogging up his glasses. “He kept his promise.”

End Section Five of Chapter Two.

Find the next section here.

#abuse tw #overdose tw #chapter two #happy holidays

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