#and then kept thinking abt his part in the story and how someone might confuse him for a negative depiction of gay ppl

[fxggotclown]

just remembered plot points and characters from cheese in the trap and got so excited . the way both of the guys in the gay couple connect to the story and how everything is pieced together is so awesome . i need to reread it again wahhhh

[dasibom]

haven't read it but heard mostly very positive things about a little life, would be interested in why u think it's bad? (if u want ofc)

ofc i love talking abt how much i hate this book. i answered a similar ask on my old blog so i'm just gonna copy paste (with a little editing):

content and trigger warnings for rape, csa, suicide, self harm and abuse. both for the book and this post.

i have so, so many problems with this book. lets start with... the gay stuff. here’s an bit from a goodreads review (link) by Michael Flick, which says it better than i could. the whole review is worth a read, too.

“Some believe that this is “The Great Gay Novel.” That couldn’t be more wrong. There are only two recognizable gay men in this work, JB and Caleb. A creative queen and a violent, probably psychopathic, sadist. All the other “possibilities” are pedophiles (categorically not gay—that’s a sickness, an evil, that has nothing to do with being gay) or so hopelessly confused (and impotent) that you can’t know what they are (JB and Willem). The take on gay men here is antediluvian—a dangerous and discredited brand of heteronormative delusion in which all gay men, no matter the glittering surface of their lives, are fated only to die a lonely, miserable death. Caleb dies an excruciating death (so we’re told) from pancreatic cancer. JB, the witty, flamboyant, unstable, creative queen is merely a plot point. His happiness, told but not shown, at the bitter end doesn’t mean anything more than that. He’s a device to wring one more regret from you, one more sorrow. You can be assured that he, too, will die an ignoble death just beyond this novel’s last page. And you won’t be troubled or offended or titillated by the gay sex (or really any sex) here because there isn’t any: it’s the sex that dare not speak its name. All this is because the author knows absolutely nothing about gay men other than the most superficial stereotypes and doesn’t have the imagination to venture deeper than that. She can’t even imagine that a man (Willem) doesn’t need a woman to quench his sexual needs—he has a solution readily at hand.

other than this, i remember this book having lesbophopic language but i don’t own a copy and i'm not gonna search the internet for that.

basically the whole book is just pure torture porn. so many bad and traumatising things happen to the main character it feels unrealistic and i think the only reason it happens is because the characters life has to be miserable. that's the whole point of the book to me. there is no reason to so graphically include a ton of this stuff in a book other than shock value. some of this graphic stuff includes very extreme descriptions of self harm (mostly cutting but also other stuff), suicide (including possible methods), physical and sexual abuse (part of it when the main character is a child), violence and medical trauma. i’m afraid that there is a real danger to this book teaching people how to hurt themselves (or even stuff like where to hide the tools they do it with) and i can’t imagine what an actively suicidal person might get out of this book. it really, really concerns me. i’m afraid this book teaches people to not get help, to not go to therapy and get help if they’ve been traumatised and/or are struggling with living. i've been traumatised in childhood and i can imagine what someone younger than i am, someone more impressionable, could get out of this book. like seriously some very fucked up ideas, i felt like the whole thing about being traumatised, and the constant self harming and suicide attempts were presented in almost a romanticised way. obviously my opinion here isn't like objective, or something, cause i'm a person trying to recover and deal w childhood trauma, which still affects me every day, in several ways, and realistically, it will never stop affecting me, but the point is that although it was terrible and it fucking sucks, it doesn't mean i will have a life with no quality and will forever be unhappy and unable to cope. and this book so clearly disagrees with it. the fact that the main character is traumatised and that horrible things happened to him as a child feels like a death sentence when it doesn't have to be.

^ lmao a point i also wanted to bring up in this section is that not all of the shit that happens to the main character needed to happen because it's fiction and it's a made up story, like after some point when i was reading it and seriously messed up shit just kept happening and it kept on going i thought like... why? it servers absolutely no purpose after some point. reading a rape scene after rape scene stopped having an affect on me eventually and... that's not very good, is it? like, i'm trying to say, this is fiction, it doesn't need to go that far? at some point, a very early point at that, it was enough to get the message across that hey, what happens to this character is bad and fucked up, it didn't need to go on.

the whole book is also full of people enabling the main character to hurt himself over and over again and do nothing. every character is there to some way hurt the main character and people praise this book for being such a great tale about friendship. it is so pretentious and again, just pure torture porn. the book so clearly seem to think therapy and reaching out to people for help it bullshit!

i’m not saying you can’t write or discuss the themes that are present in this book but i just don’t think this is the way to do it. probably a therapist specialising in trauma should consult with the writer and someone should make sure the description of self harm and suicide will not harm anyone. i think there are guidelines made for that by people working in the field and i just feel like something like that would be of benefit here. like, i don't know, i don't have a solution, i'm just saying this is not it.

also, here is a link to the author literally saying she does not believe in trigger warnings. and i think those would have been extremely beneficial to have at the start of this book and i certainly would not have read it if it was for them. that would have saved me from so much triggering content that i did not want to read and i wish badly that i did not read. it seems clear to me the author does not have any idea how traumatic things can work, or at least that is what i think based on what she says. here is a link to an interview in which she says she does not believe in talk therapy. there, a point about a persons autonomy to end their own life is brought up which is a topic but if that’s what she wants to talk about then it should be done in clear terms and not with the only message “therapy doesn’t work if you’ve suffered enough trauma.” at least that’s how the whole thing seemed to me. like of course a persons own choice to end their life is a discussion i do think is worth having, but... that did not come across in the book.

lastly, here are some links i have saved about this book which i think point out excellent things if anyone wants to read more:

https://www.reddit.com/r/books/comments/a0e1yi/convince_me_a_little_life_is_a_good_book_please/

http://post45.org/2016/06/im-so-sorry-a-little-life-and-the-socialism-of-the-rich/

https://cannonballread.com/2016/07/narfna-a-little-life/

& you're welcome to ask me to clarify something or just discuss, this is a little bit of a mess cause i copy pasted that old answer and edited it a bit to hopefully word things better but like. idk if much of it makes sense

[sanchoyo]

Looks like you’re gonna have to gush some more cuz I meant in general uwu🌸

🌺😌🤟 Always happy to! Okay here’s just some General bnha Thoughts ™ Mostly Lov centric. You asked for them, and you said GUSH about them, so here’s. A Lot! :)

This isn’t a lov one but it’s really funny so I thought I’d put it out there:

-when bnha was first gaining traction on tumblr, it was all art of Tsuyu. I have no idea why. People were talking about the funky frog lesbian superhero anime. Maybe it was just the people I was following, maybe it was a general trend, but I LOVED her design!!! my fav color and frogs r super cute!!! And I already loved superhero media, so I was like. I’ll watch it. For Her. SO. FROPPY IS THE REASON I WATCHED/READ BNHA. I went in thinking she was the protag and I was sooo confused when Izuku was... tbh I still think it’d be more interesting if she was lmaooo aus where? ...seriously if anyone has good aus where this is the case send them LOL

-I don’t actually feel that bad abt what Shigaraki’s doing. I still feel bad for him. I’m this post. yes im an apologist. its not my fault hes sexy and has been running around shirtless. hes a lesbian icon like thor is. I want to touch his hair. hes never done anything wrong in his life. he could kill all might, deku, bakugo, whatever, I’d still be sayin this. I don’t feel bad for gt. like. was anyone genuinely attached to him? lmao

-well u know how spinner’s quirk is just sticking to things? We haven’t seen him use it in canon except like, (1) time iirc?? I think this is probably bc he’s embarrassed about it even in front of the league... I loooove the idea that he gets more comfortable with it around them :”) and also how shigaraki. um. does that falling asleep thing while standing up with his eyes open, canonly? (which I still love lmfao) Imagine someone in the league walking in a dark room, turning on the light n just seeing. Spinner upside down, stuck to the ceiling asleep bc heat rises and its Warmer Up There. (cold blooded thing like tsuyu?? come ON give him a big fuzzy coat and scarf...) and Shigaraki in the center of the room, slouched but still standing, eyes open and motionless. Theyre both sleeping. Whomever sees it just...slowly walks out. LMAO

-Toga roller derby au. No deep thoughts I just think she’d be good at it. 

-Toga 100% is a social butterfly and could befriend anyone if they didn’t just judge the fact she was trying to stab them smh :/ (ok but seriously anytime I see cute friendships with her n the other kids im like :) aw. I feel like her and Camie...would be good friends. Camie feels chill enough to be like ‘ok whatever thats totally fine I forgive you!!’ LMAO we love airheads here)

-HOW DID TOGA GET SO GOOD AT FIGHTING? We know she’s been on the run since middle school or so, but good enough to pin Deku down after he’s been formally trained at a ~hero school~ for a while? (she pinned him TWICE I think, once when his arms were messed up, but, the other time as Camie, so? AND THEN WAS ONE OF THE 100 PEOPLE TO GO THRU TO THE 2ND ROUND OF THAT? even tho she didn’t bc she had to leave) good enough to beat Aizawa in a fight and stab him? A professional hero and teacher for YEARS? Is that seriously just street training??? Can people acknowledge how amazing her combat skills and reflexes are??? More Toga appreciation when?? Also her backstory??? SO subversive and incredible, hate when people reduce her to just a ~typical anime yandere~ :/

-Tomura doing stuff with his hands/fingers to train his quirk!!! And to learn to be careful with it!! obv I’m a Big Fan of him playing piano to do this and video games are prob the canon answer, but like, guitar or any stringed instrument that requires Hands would work too. Or knitting/sewing? EMBROIDERING? ??? Please, let me give you the mental image of him knitting aggressively while mentally scheming, watching a twitch streamer or smth too while doing it. (Doing stuff with your hands is a great way to let your mind come up with creative stuff, that’s how I come up with writing/drawing ideas 70% of the time)

-Tomura actually PREFERS cutesty, relaxing games. I mean, he does fighting and bloody stuff irl, games are a way to relax...he’ll play shooters and gta type games with The Lads, but. on his own?? animal crossing. pokemon. kirby games. mario. zelda. BIG ZELDA FAN (not saying this bc I, personally, am biased, but,) slime rancher, stardew valley, funny simulator games... he really enjoys those :”) God forbid he has a kid bc they’re 100% getting named after a viddy game character unless someone can talk him out of it LOL. Toga and Tomura are that animal crossing /doom meme where she’d be asking for doom and him asking for animal crossing :”)

-Bits and pieces of Before are kinda stuck in Kurogiri’s brain, but like. mostly useless stuff the doctor didn’t care about removing. Like, types of clouds. So Tomura kinda picks up on stuff like that. He can just look at clouds and tell you what type they are because Kurogiri used to take him up to high places in the city and point them out to calm Tomura down from a panic attack when he was younger. He can tell you if the sky looks like it’ll rain with a 80% accuracy rate too. 

-Kurogiri left food out for kitties in the alley beside the bar. They weren’t allowed in for Health Reasons (it IS a bar with sanitation standards!!) And Tomura really wouldn’t stop it or encourage it either way so long as Kurogiri did his job, but occasionally would stand outside with Kurogiri and just watch the kitties from a distance. If any approached he’d go back in (lowkey afraid he’d hurt them by touching them :( ) They kinda kept that between them tho, bc they both Know AFO is a big bag of dicks and no fun

-people have pointed out how similar aizawa and tomura look. this was 100% the intention. tomura has a hatecrush on him. THIS IS SO FUNNY AND HORRIBLY AWKWARD FOR KUROGIRI LMAO

-Sako??? Mr. Dramatic?? Opera fan. Drama kid. Like, obviously, but. Really. He is. I feel like he can speak a dozen languages. I also feel like he used to be an overachiever but got too ambitious. He was def some kind of leader at one point of a diff Group or something that fell apart. I LOVE how creative he is with his quirk and the magician theme??? incredible. I don’t show him enough love but I Love Clowns :o)

-I don’t care what their canon heights are. Spinner and Dabi? short kings. My height hcs are (tallest to shortest) Kurogiri, Twice, Sako (who also has heels on his boots and a tall hat, keep in mind), Tomura, Magne (Tomura and Magne are about the same height imo) Toga, Spinner, Dabi. LISTEN. Dabi has short energy. Sorry. it’s true tho

-This is a semi-popular hc I think bc I KNOW I’ve seen it before, but Dabi having Terrible Vision and needing glasses is so so good. (seriously, with burns THAT close to his eyeballs, how could he not?) 

-he tries to be a tough loner coolguy. you’d think he’d smoke, but I hc his ‘weak constitution’ comes with weak lungs (esp from years of a flame quirk?? inhaling smoke over so much time is SO bad for you, most people who die in fires actually die of smoke inhalation...) so he’s got like, an inhaler, can’t smoke, actually gets carsick, needs glasses, overuses quirk to save friends constantly, likes napping, a little awkward and rude. Tomura put him in charge of the vanguard so he’s smart, and good with strategies too, like a nerd. this is the Dabi I wanna see, not the popular fandom version of him tbh also step on hawks one more time sir :”)

-I wish all the lov fics weren’t?? villain!deku like I said earlier, but also, chatfics? I have nothing against them but most of them are just a bombardment of Memes with NO PLOT!!! Listen. text/chatfics CAN have plot and be an interesting way to tell a story. I almost want to write one just to show what I mean...

I know I’ve said I like spinaraki and blackmagic, but I am a multishipper, so a few ships I don’t talk about that I like that involve the lov in some way:

-toga/any of the 1A girls??? or Camie??? super interesting. ALSO in the radio drama, bakugo’s voice actor said Toga was his favorite girl??? so?? bakugo/toga ?? I WANT TO SEE IT. but specifically my fav dynamic with her is when someone ELSE is the one to like her first, it’s what she deserves.

-Kurogiri/aizawa/mic?? any variety of that is also 👌🏻 I also kinda wanna see kurogiri/all might bc. Dads. COME ON. they bond over ‘well, I raised him, and you want to have a part in his life now?? ok. earn it. prove it. I’ll screen you first’ or something LMAO they’re both genuinely concerned for the boy, and SOOO biased. let them bond.

-WAIT WHERE IS THE MIC/COMPRESS CONTENT. THEYRE BOTH DRAMATIC. ENEMIES TO LOVERS?? HELLO??? SOMEONE?? ANYONE. rarepair hours

-giran/twice is cute. like he was hyping him up so much and so ready to go save him...

-dabi/magne where is the content. when. why not everywhere??? I’ve also seen magne/compress which was cute!! or twice/magne? they’re the big sibs of the lov...

-dabi/spinner?? come ON dabi could get over his learned biases and spend time with him and they could hold hands. I want them to.

-dabihawks. Obviously bc the Drama. yes even still, don’t @ me. (also, shigahawks, seen some REAL interesting fics with it tbh) or spinahawks?? adding hawks to a ship is like adding extra chili powder. makes it SPICY dramatic)

-nine/tomura don’t @ me once again. both kinda afo’s playthings, nine obviously was the test for tomura’s new upgrades...they both love their friends...That Scene in the Flower field </3 hmmm tragicships are fun.

-tomura/mirko. more enemies to lovers. big fan of her and bunnies. remember when he wore bunny ears in bnha smash. (ok its crack but. CUTE.) 

-I’ve also seen shiganatsu and shigafuyu and I’m like. these are cute, but also Dabi’s reaction always makes me cry laugh. so good.

-MOST EVERYONE IN THE LOV IS LGBTQA+!!! heres my personal headcanons:

Toga: pan or bi (CANON BASICALLY)

Magne: transwoman (CANON BABEY) bi, leans towards men. (her crush on dabi in bnha smash... uwu content where)

Shuichi: gets sooooo flustered canonly, I think he’d go for the first person Who Hit On Him (I can see him being the target of those mean pranks where someone says ‘my friend likes you!!’ and the friend is like ‘eww!!’ :(((( ) he’s super hesitant for romance, lots of repressed stuff. gay but takes sooo long to realize it bc he thinks most women are conventionally pretty Aesthethically, feels obligated to Like Them, but has bad self esteem so never goes after them, then only likes (1) guy so hes like?? is this allowed?? is this allowed???? (HES LIKE. IN LOVE WITH SHIGARAKI)

Dabi: bi but rly hasn’t ever gotten to date anyone, so he’s actually more reserved about it and while he’ll tease, he absolutely is absent and kinda oblivious (again, I KNOWWWW bnha smash isnt canon, but. my god. when magne is hitting on him and he Just Doesnt Understand.) also hes ace

Tomura: doesn’t care. (just prob says ‘its whatever’) trans/nonbinary (i’M NOT PROJECTING, BUT. :’/) probably goes with like, the label queer if any but doesn’t care much for labels

Kurogiri: bi??? kind of??? I say kind of bc well, I hc U Know Whom as bi, I feel like thatd carry over but he’d be really avoidant to date anyone bc hes gotta Watch His Kid u know? this is gonna sound surprising but I think he’d be the type to be like ‘ok we can have a one night stand/fling BUT it cant get personal bc I have a Job to Do for my Son so don’t get up in your feelings’ and act a little coldly at first or very ..not personable... depending on who it was he’d prob turn around eventually, esp if that person valued his feelings/job :”)

Sako: that mans Not Straight. I hc him as gay and also trans :3c

Twice: Bi and HAS dated prob more than anyone else in the league imo, super comfortable with his sexuality and supportive of everyone else’s :)

ok that’s about all I can think of atm, come back in 5 minutes and my brain will refill with lov headcanons :3 thank you for asking!!

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket SE02. Ep 14

This is a build up: to the teacher conference & catching up with the aftermath of the beach after hatori/mayu & student council break. Tohru has 5% of of this ep! & not the usual ‘moma tohru/sohma’s savior tohru/ happy tohru/ healing tohru”. NO!! It’s real person with real issues tohru!!! scared lonely teenage tohru!!! celebrating the crumbs thrown to me!!!!!!! XD.

(1) Haru!!! The lighter version of tohru’s kindness:

I was right!! haru was there for yuki!! He was 13/14 years old when he asked shigure to take yuki, putting himself in danger by sneaking few moments to sit with yuki whenever he can. As a kid, he’s done than all the adults. His support comes from genuine concern over yuki. Haru is a lighter & healthier version of tohru’s kindness. He supports yuki & can get in danger but he’s not neglecting himself. he faced his demons early on as a kid & got over his hate which was caused by the adult’s mockery of him. He learned to love/accept himself & found love with rin, he didn’t selflessly sacrifice anything despite her attempts to leave him. He showed selfless kindness towards yuki, kisa, & rin. He still can turn dark but this is part of him being imperfect. Moreover, haru didn’t hold on to yuki, imposing his guidance & his support. he stands in the near distance. I’ll support you but you need to go search for your path yourself. He also understands that yuki can’t do like him & stay around helping haru in his issues with rin cuz (a) romantic issues are mostly exclusive to the ppl involved & interference may cause harm, (b) yuki needs to focus on himself now & not escape into other ppl’s issues like tohru does. He needs to face his future & haru is there to tell him so. Again the writer is telling us yuki will do/choose right even in moments of doubt cuz ppl will be there to support him. This ep, it’s haru ushering him into focusing on his path & resisting the need to escape the pressure. we’ll see others step in for yuki until he can stand on his feet. 

(2) Tohru!!! The abandoned/lonely teenager:

Her only loving relative might soon leave, he’s old & sick. Her mom wasn’t sick nor old. Yet, she left. Tohru’s fear of abandonment intensifies. From the moment she got the phone call, her face screams “Don’t leave me”. teacher conference usually involves parents. It’s supposed to be her mom that’s attending with her. it’s her mom’s dream to get into high school & she would’ve proudly visit the teacher to talk abt tohru’s future. except this time tohru goes with a stranger..not even her grandfather. Shigure genuinely cares for tohru, despite the ulterior motive of seeing Mayu. but he’s still a stranger who doesn’t know her or her future plans. Shigure’ll be present physically with her but she’s all on her own. Kyo saw that when he entered the house. He saw her pain despite the cheerful smile. Guess whose fault that kyoko isn’t here now? kyo. Guess who’s guiltily went to his room & stood there in the dark? kyo. Guess who couldn’t face tohru the next day? kyo.

-”why do they both have to pass away, I want to ge see them”!! Tohru begs her grandfather to stay with her, him suddenly dozing off caused her anxiety attack, it has been building inside her since hiro’s words. “ i want to see him” kyoko said!!! & oh she ended up really going to him..“its okay” it isn’t. “always together” they aren’t. tohru flashback is clearer. Kyoko abandoned tohru somehow around her father’ funeral. For some reason the door is locked literally & metaphorically between tohru & the sense of safety & being wanted!!. It’s too much for her!!. she” do anything, say anything, just don’t TAKE mom away!” alas~ Her mask cracks. Her legs fail. she can’t stand. she falls. she breaks. she’s alone. kyo’s here with her. Present physically & emotionally. Tohru’s angel. Except he’s real. if she reaches out, he won’t disappear. He’s not TAKEN from her (not yet). Tohru smiles genuinely without putting her mask back on. kyo, unlike haru, can’t hug tohru becuz of the curse. He uses head pats instead. lovingly, kindly & tenderly patting her head. “it’s normal to be worried when a relative is ill”, “don’t push yourself” is that like kyo’s 5th advice to tohru now?. “do you plan to sit here forever” carries more than the literal meaning, along with him actually holding her arm & pulling her up! followed by teasing her to ease her back into normality. Now it’s really “okay” for tohru cuz someone who cares is really here with her. present by body & soul. kyo teasing her shifted her focus from painful past into a flirty chat & musings in Arisa’s expense. It’s similar to when tohru helped yuki with his first encounter with akito in school by suggesting playing to cast away the fears. except this time someone is doing this for tohru!!Her struggles are seen despite the mask. she’s not a lonely teenager, she is receiving an emotional well-needed help. however...this is but the tip of the iceberg. tohru hasn’t opened her lid yet. she should or she’ll break down soon..

-The faulty/over usage of the Voice-Over technique:

Usually this tool is used by writers to send messages they believe is hard to catch for readers/viewers or for foreshadowing. It’s done mostly when (a) a character is watching a scene unfold in front of them & they comment internally, or (b) they are narrating a scene/story. However, that’s not the case in this ep. (I’m not talking abt internal monologue, that’s a different case & is totally suitable when character talks abt themselves when the scene only show them & doesn’t switch into a different place entirely). This ep is weirdly stuffed with voice-overs by kagura, yuki, haru & shigure done over multiple scenes & it was poorly done (in my personal opinion) as it caused confusion in the episode’s flow, especially the kagura’s part. Manga/still pictures are different from anime/moving pictures, therefore manga writers feel the need to insert lines said by this or that over another scene to connect what the still image might fail to express. Moreover writers publish monthly & there might be periods of hiatus, so they need to remind readers of certain themes. Anime/shows are totally different medium. The images moves with expressive facials expressions, colors, characters voices, & music to convey a message. How can you have all that & cause confusion? or over saturate a single ep with one tool?

-when kagura's voice is over kyo’s image in school, it shows kyo looking at tohru sadly. i really was confused on why kyo is still sad abt kagura, I didn’t notice tohru walking alone at first, then kyo went home before changing his mind. I kept thinking he’s gone to kagura!! or that he’ll go to Akito cuz kagura’s words expressed guilt?? or he changed his mind & would confess to tohru cuz of kagura’s words of illogical love?? when he didn’t tell tohru where was he heading for the longest time I was confused that he’s hiding sth!! it wasn’t until I watched the ep twice & omitted kagura’s part that I got it!! Why didn’t the show let us hear kyo’s thoughts directly instead of kagura’s confusing voice over?? it’s not like he’ll tell us kyoko’s promise? he’ll express what we already know! that he’s struggling to either let go of tohru or be there for her... why is that hard to express to viewers using kyo? If kyo’s thoughts MUST be blocked, then why NOT use the most effect method for shows/ moving pictures which is Show-Not-Tell???. They’re trying to do that but felt the need to insert kagura’s thoughts over to help us understand??? shame how the result is total confusion & loss of impactful scene for tohru/kyo unless you watch it twice to analyze. It was in my 2nd watch with omitting kagura’s scene that I understood why kyo was off/sad & where was he headed. Very poorly done.

-Yuki’s/Shigure’s/haru’s voice-over didn’t cause confusion but was excessively done in a single ep, Moreover, it carries the feeling of the shows flaw: the need to guide viewers’ thoughts to the door step in certain scenes or leave them without anything in other scenes. Again I’m not talking abt the monologues, I’m talking abt the images of other characters they showed over the voice when others are in discussion. It felt too on the nose for me this time.

Side Notes:

There are some moments in this show, more than other shows, where I feel like I’m reading more than watching or hearing audio book over still images, which is shame since the story itself is superb & the anime has all the tools it needs to express all themes visually. It also adds to the flaw of “imbalanced expression” that this show suffers from sometimes.

 Rin & haru relationship..wow.. I’ll hold on talking abt them until I see more. Haru is a dear fave of mine. I’m sure Rin worth the wait.

Yuki’s Japanese VA is awesome! he’s one of my top 5 VAs in furuba. 

I’m in love with tohru’s crumbs. Feed me more, show! plz.

[thewebcomicsreview]

hussie said a thing abt the epilogues reddit. com/r/homestuck/comments/cuywff/the_homestuck_epilogues_bridges_and_offramps_new/

I also think many of the negative feelings the story creates isn’t just an urgent prompt for the reader to imagine different ideas, or ways to resolve the new narrative dilemmas. It’s also an opportunity for people to discuss any of the difficult content critically, and for fandom in general to continue developing the tools for processing the negative emotions art can generate. Sorting that out has to be a communal experience, and it’s an important part of the cycle between creating and criticizing art. I think not only can creators develop their skills to create better things by practicing and taking certain risks, fandom is something which can develop better skills as well. Skills like critical discussion, dealing constructively with negative feelings resulting from the media they consume, interacting with each other in more meaningful ways, and trying to understand different points of view outside of the factions within fandom that can become very hardened over time. Fandoms everywhere tend to get bad reputations for various reasons, maybe justifiably. But I don’t see why it can’t be an objective to try to improve fandom, just as creators can improve their work. And I think this can only happen if now and then fandoms are seriously challenged, by being encouraged to think about complex ideas, and made to feel difficult emotions. I believe when art creates certain kinds of negative feelings in people, it can lead to some of the most transformative experiences art has to offer. But it helps to be receptive to this idea for these experiences to have a positive net effect on your life, and your relationship with art.

Christ, he’s gone full Lennon. Imagine a good ending. I wonder if you can.

So, I’ve mentioned this a few times, but the most transformative art has ever been for me was a comic that actually started on the Homestuck forums

Prequel - Or - Making The Cat Cry: The Adventure - is a comic written by Kazared loosely based on the Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. It’s about a Khajiit girl named Katia who moves to OblivionLand to make a new life for herself, and the comic spent years building Katia up to bigger and bigger heights so that every time she crashed she crashed harder than ever before. The second time she relapses into alcoholism is where a lot of readers give up on the comic for being misery porn.

There’s a point where she she’s solved all her problems and even gets to join the mages guild - her lifelong dream - only for the woman running the Kvatch mage guild to mild control her into giving up all her stuff, including the stuff important to Katia’s only friend.  Katia is left naked on the streets literally digging through trash in the vain hope of trying to find a solution to at least one of her problems. And what she finds is a bottle of beer.

Twice already in this comic Katia hit a really bad patch and started drinking again. The comic has twice made us root for Katia to succeed, only to jump cut to her waking up in a stranger’s bed with no memory of what happened. 

She wanders into an empty church (OBVIOUS SYMBOLISM ALERT), and alternates between trying to find some supplies and fantasizing about everything magically getting fixed, which slowly morphs into fantasizing about drinking while getting increasingly furious at barrels for not having clothes in them.

One thing. You wanted one thing and you were too much of a fucking idiot to realize it was hopeless and pointless and bound to ruin everything. Stuck on some childish idea that you could be anything, do anything, and just be some selfish bitch that’s never happy with what she has. Fuck, you don’t even know what you’re mad at anymore, you just hate yourself and everything you ever ruined for yourself and everyone and want to stop thinking about what a worthless mindless thoughtless imbecile you are. You just want to stop fucking thinking about it.

You drop onto the chapel floor and just cry. You cry and cry because you’re stupid and easy and can’t fix anything no matter how hard you try. You cry because your best is worse than everyone else’s average. You cry because your parents never loved you and you’re a disappointment to everyone, even yourself. You cry because all you wanted was to be someone and that’s never going to happen. And when that’s done, you cry a little more because you’re ashamed of being such a crybaby.

You try to get all the emotions out, try to clear your mind and maybe, just maybe feel ready to tackle the night ahead of you, feel as though this is the time you finally turn things around. But no matter how hard you try, how hard you weep and bawl and try to get it all out, you’re still just a fuckup. No matter what you try, that knowledge is still there, gripping onto your every thought and reminding you that things are never going to change.

You’re not strong. You’re not a hero. You’re not even worthy of the name Katia Managan. You’re sad and angry and nothing makes sense, but you know this is probably the clearest your head is going to get.

Someday, things are going to get better. Someday, you are going to fight and persevere and everything will feel great. You think.But for now, you know what you have to do.

And at the very least, there is no way you could possibly make yourself feel any worse.

Katia, for the first time, manages to avoid drowning drinking. She overcomes her issues. And you know what happens next?

She accidentally sets the church on fire, because this is still Prequel. She passes out from smoke inhalation, and then there’s….

this, and then she wakes up and reflects on her managing to stay on the wagon.

Honestly, you just feel… kind of numb.

You fucked up. You lost everything you earned, were discarded by the people you looked up to most, gave away the package you were supposed to be delivering to pay your friend back, completely lost control of your powers, and after passing out naked in a church have probably ruined any chance you might have had at a good reputation in Kvatch. You were a wreck last night when this was all happening, but now… you guess it just feels like you’ve run out of sad. You’re just confused.

Personally, I think this stuff is way darker than anything that happens in the Homestuck Epilogues, which is mostly just over-the-top Warhammer 40k grimderp. This shit got to me, man. And around the time this is happening in the comic, I lost my job. And as the storyline continued past this point, I kept applying for jobs and getting turned down, and it started to really wear on me, I felt I had no useful skills, since my old job was supporting software that only that company used because they made it. Much like Katia got into great positions only to fail, I walked out of interviews thinking I’d aced it only to get turned down, while Katia kept making two-steps-forward-one-step-back advances and not really getting any closer to solving any of her issues. And one day, about six weeks into joblessless and starting to get into serious depression over it, I got two “Thanks but no thanks” calls from places I was feeling good about back to back, and I was just done. 10am and I was going to go into my room and lie down on the floor all day but first Prequel updated so I guess I’ll check it real quick oh hey a flash

This puzzle took me like 20 tries, I’m no good at them. Aggy ran out of inspiring dialogue and started looping. And if you’re not in the right mindset, in the right place, this probably doesn’t seem like much. But right there, a month and a half into unemployment, doing that stupid fucking jumping jumpy peg thing while a ghost cheered me on was life-changing. I was so fucking jazzed when I got it, I was fired up! I was so fired up I tabled my “lie on the floor all day in despair” plan, and started applying for a bunch of jobs. A few of those jobs called me back. One hired me. I still work there now. I always liked webcomics but Aggy Extrapolate is the reason I make them. Because good art is powerful. Good art changes lives, maybe even saves them. And it doesn’t need to be happy to do it, Katia still hasn’t succeeded at her goals (in part because Prequel updates at a rate Dresden Codak would make fun of).

What the hell did the Homestuck Epilogues do, by comparison? What’s the positive net effect on my life, or my interaction with art? “Sometimes things you like are bad”? Shit, man, I already knew that, I’m into wrestling. How is “John recognizes Terezi’s jizz on his dad’s car” supposed to make me a better person, exactly? Do you really think the problem with fandoms is that they’re not angry enough? Are you high, Andrew Hussie? 

[shsldepressedlesbian]

Few questions to help both us n you get to know the passengers on this cruise to hell better! 1,upon first glance what something someone would immediately notice abt your ocs appearance? 2,does your ocs Like their talent? This says a lot about them as people and feel free to go into detail why or why not they do. 3,do any of the cast have any character quirks? Be it in speech or otherwise

hey this looks fun :0

1:

Yuuki: i think its safe to say the many assortments of flowers she wears in her hair. while she isnt a gardener or anything, one of her siblings is, and they often send flowers to her. yuuki, in turn, usually mends them all into a flower crown, or even plain just puts a single flower into her hair.

Emica: when it comes to it, i suppose her traditional japanese arm band, symbolising her stance on the student council. her many different necklaces is a close competitor.

Arata: he dresses like he just walked out of a time loop from england 1930s. i think thats pretty noticeable-

Mitsuo: the unhealthily dark bags under his eyes, and the very pale skin which does not go well with his very bright, red hair.

Asuka: her very rich, haughty aura. and even though anyone would hate to admit it, shes borderline very attractive.

Manabu: he looks like he came from a very formal ball, not to mention it would be hard to miss the variety of shiny crystals he wears as bracelets.

Seiichi: at first glance, people might say he looks like he just had a ruffle with someone- but if you pay attention, he actually really is neat and tidy- aside from his tie.

Tamotsu: at first glance, people would probably compare him to indiana jones when it comes to his outfit choice. he doesnt deny these comparsions.

Kamiko: her sunhat, for sure. theyre usually wide brimmed, though fashionable. the second thing is probably the many ‘luck charms’ she wears as accesories.

Kenta: how he looks much stronger than he actually is. also his sneakers. everyone notices the sneakers. even if you arent a fan of footwear, you WILL notice his sneakers.

Chieko: chieko is very… ordinary looking. in fact, her normalness compared to any other ultimate is probably the first thing youll ever notice. it actually makes her stand out.

Masa: the first youll notice about masa is her sheer size of accesories. bracelets, rings, hair pins, and necklaces galore. if you pay enough attention, youll actually notice she and tamotsu have matching necklaces.

Fumiko: a notable thing about fumikos appearance is how… scandalous her outfit is. fumiko isnt shameful at all about how much skin shes exposing; though it never gets too crazy. usually. hopefully.

Kohaku: there is nothing really abnormal about kohaku, other then their very bright mint color scheme. the reading glasses hanging from a small chain on the front of their suit is also something noteworthy.

Aika: the first thing youll notice about aika is the fact that her coat is almost completely made out of buttons- each one she sewed onto it herself. for someone who youd expect look to have come out of the 1990s, she has a reasonable modern feel to her clothes.

Satoru: at first glance, you could see satoru as, to be frank, a vsco boy. his casual outfit, sunglasses, and jacket with many pins relating to saving the ocean can give off that feel. however, he resents the stereotypes of ‘vsco’. also, its hard to tell if his murky hair is either white or grey.

Usagi: the first thing youll notice about usagi is the fact she always looks like shes prepared for a hike. her backpack, casual but warm outfit wear, and always pulled up hair can give that impression.

2:

Yuuki: yuuki has a soft spot for her talent, considering how it dates back to her grandmother, and its always been something shes been experienced with. its fair to say yuuki likes her talent.

Emica: emica really doesnt consider herself worthy of her talent. the only reason she got it, afterall, is because of her dad, not to mention this fact has caused her a fair amount of nasty envy with her fellow classmates. still, she tries to honor her responsibility of being student council president. emica doesnt particularly like her talent.

Arata: if theres one thing arata is proud of, its his talent. hes been into history since he was a small child- and to have his research celebrated is his dream come true. he can, however, be a little cocky about it. he really does consider himself the best historian in history. arata likes, and is very proud of, his talent.

Mitsuo: he wont even tell anyone what his talent is. i wonder why…

Asuka: whether or not asuka enjoys her talent is left to debate. it is, however, for sure something she uses to her advantage. shes part of the main student council! of course everyone has to respect her, right? she also considers being the treasurer ‘finally’ a way to use her social skills and knowledge with mathematics to use. asuka likes her talent.

Manabu: manabu was always expected to be helpful in the study of outer space. his whole family line consisted of astronomers, astronauts, astrophysicists, and more. manabu had to choose his career at a young age, and he decided on astrogeology. this didnt mean manabu was stuck in the career. or, at least, he was, until an opportunity arrived. yet even when he got it, he decided not to take it. manabu always had a soft spot for astrogeology, though perhaps if he didnt have his current family line, he would have become the ultimate of a different talent. manabu likes his talent, though that may only be because of his history.

Seiichi: seiichis history of slam poetry goes all the way back to elementary. its his form of venting, if you will, as even though he comes across as nervous, his head is filled with anger at the world. but also hope, of making a new one. a better one. he considers being invited to attend sailing integrity was just a plus to his journey. seiichi likes his talent.

Tamotsu: tamotsu has been interested in tombs and the history of egypt for a long time. the closest thing he could find to fulfilling his interests was becoming a tour guide to show people around said tombs, and he found himself having fun, rehearsing facts and making the otherwise gloomy places bright. making tourists days a little more fun was good enough for him. tamotsu quite likes his talent.

Kamiko: kamikos talent was always something that she did as a fun hobby. sewing tapestries that told fascinating tales was always something she was invested in. and the many tales she sewed was really the only things that kept her company while she kept herself locked in her room. however, even if she likes her talent, she was not a fan of being recognized for it, and being coaxed by her parents to attend the academy. kamiko likes her talent, but isnt a fan of being the ‘ultimate’ of it.

Kenta: if we were being real here, kenta is very… neutral on his talent, which is weird for him. the way he learnt it is connected with bad memories, but doing it has always been refreshing to him. a way to run around, blow off steam. he supposes being called deemed the ‘ultimate’ of it isnt that bad. kenta likes his talent, for the majority.

Chieko: being the ultimate chemist wasnt chiekos first choice, but she takes it with dignity. chieko is neutral on her talent.

Masa: masas talent was born out of curiosity, and it grew from it. masas history of interpreting dreams is affiliated with many different emotions and memories. but for the most part, its been positive. she is very into the persona of it, and considers it a chance for her to act all mythical and wise. but, shes just really happy that she got to be a ultimate along with tamotsu. masa likes her talent, especially the attention she gets from it.

Fumiko: fumiko, probably, resents her talent the most out of the cast. its a very constant, confusing, love-hate relationship. she dislikes the title of ultimate lucky student, as she finds it cheesy, which is the whole reason why she calls herself a blackjack player. after talking to her for a bit, it becomes clear she doesnt want her talent to define her, and that she honestly couldnt care less about ultimates and the academies. her whole reason for applying to the lottery seems to stem from family reasons. while she dislikes the academy, she also takes any chance she can to pump her ego around her talent. its confusing, honestly. fumiko is not a fan of her talent.

Kohaku: kohakus murder mystery career started out as a coping method. however, they get very attached to every story and characters they make, putting love into every book, which is the whole reason they got recognized as the ultimate murder mystery novelist. kohaku has pride in becoming the ultimate murder mystery novelist, though they dont consider it a big deal. whether or not they became an ultimate wouldnt have any effect on the future of their career. theyll always write murder mysteries. kohaku likes their talent.

Aika: aika considers her becoming an ultimate a complete ‘accident’. aika isnt especially invested in vintage collecting- she just had a lot of old stuff she posted online, not even realising how old and valuable they really were, and the next thing she knew, the email and letter came. actually, the invitation to sailing integrity is what really made her consider making collecting old items a hobby. secretly, aika is a little insecure of her talent, finding it boring compared to others talents. aika likes her talent, but only to a certain point.

Satoru: satorus want to study the oceans animals has been active for a long time, especially since he was always close to water, considering his parents were fishermen. he finds the thought of the ocean being 95% explored to be highly interesting, and his goal is to crack down another 5% before he dies. becoming the ultimate of what he loved to do was very much a welcomed moment, especially with the promise that the academy would supply him with items that would help reinforce his talent. satoru has always been especially passionate about marine biology. satoru likes his talent.

Usagi: usagi is also very neutral when considering her talent. in fact, her talent is always at the back of her mind when introducing herself. usagi, truthfully, isnt a fan of most of the school referring to her as the ‘ultimate runaway’, considering how many of them paint it as a form of rebelling and thus delinquency. shes just a girl who likes taking sharing nature with the world whilst traveling, and wants others to see that as well. usagi is iffy on her talent.

3:

(hmmm im not sure what your definition of ‘quirks’ are, but here, have this:)

Yuuki: taps her foot an awful lot.

Emica: none visible.

Arate: can you consider writing almost everything down a quirk?

Mitsuo: taps surfaces whenever hes thinking.

Asuka: none visible.

Manabu: none visible.

Seiichi: as noted before, he tugs on his tie when hes nervous. also has a habit of rising his voice when he doesnt mean to.

Tamotsu: has more of an american dialect.

Kamiko: has the iconic danganronpa stutter, hides her face behind her hat.

Kenta: none visible.

Chieko: also has an american dialect, though hers is less apparent then tamotsus.

Masa: has a very cryptic way of speaking, except when she lets normal sentences slip through.

Fumiko: has a bit of a drawl to her voice.

Kohaku: none visible, surprisingly.

Aika: almost always moving, cannot stand completely still.

Satoru: rarely uses h’s if they are at the front of the word.

Usagi: has an unidentifiable accent.

[matazz]

My Feelings on Roy Endoza

sooo i wrote this basically after a big thing happened in our campaign. it was basically a way to vent to myself and i never ended up sending it until now. anyway, here’s a couple of ramblings.

It’s Carter and it’s finally getting to the end of Campaign 2. It’s been over a year since Roy Endoza has existed as my character and he’s so different to how I originally imagined him. Anyway, I have a lot of thoughts and feelings so I’ll divide it up into categories. I’m writing this as how I’m feeling so it makes sense its whatever comes to mind first and makes sense chronologically but you can read it how you want but this is gonna be definitely from the most impactful things to the least.

Basically my Thoughts on how I wrote Roy

For starters, he was this unempathetic doctor who stole corpses from hospitals to practice necromancy for fun, and lies about being dead because its hilarious. I eventually evolved him into this gentle guy who adores the people he loves because I decided to give him a boyfriend; Milo Corazon (his name is cute because it means “My Heart”. Roy’s name means nothing symbolic). Milo was just meant to be there to make him have more depth as a character, and that’s exactly what I did. I got really attached to him though, and I came to the realization that I need to seperate Roy from Milo for the campaign to start.

And as tropey as it is, I decided to kill him. And I didnt just want him to die from illness or an accident or get “murdered by a syndicate”. Milo is soft, he’s innocent and gentle and sweetness and sunshines and thats exactly why Roy Endoza fell for him. So I made Roy kill him through the irony of his own necrotic practices.

Since even before the campaign started I’ve been threading it along that Roy is dead. He’s a corpse who was brought back from the gods mysteriously. I even faked being a cleric. It’s a fake backstory I made to counter the real one, and everybody believed it. It didnt counter anything, it made sense.

And even before that, I’ve known he was going to lie and I’ve known he was going to try to use necromancy to bring his boyfriend back and I’ve known he was going to continually lie to keep himself safe.

Basically my Thoughts on Royce

At the start of the campaign he got the letter. An opportunity. He met Fox only a while after his accident and he got attached.. to this lost confused boy who was just as lost as he was. And then we met all of you.

Shortly after, I told Ayce about my “lie” first... and then Ayce had the exact same thing going on and I took it as an opportunity. I saw the opportunities with Roy betraying Ayce and using him. And I thought about how fucking beautiful it would be if they were a romance and how much more impactful it would be if they were. Not only did it make sense with Roy’s motives of finding a way to bring back Milo, but it made sense for Roy and Ayce to “empathise” with eachother after going through “the same thing”. And holy fuck I took that opportunity and RAN with the wind and I’ve not regretted it.

I absolutely fucking adore Royce even for those messed up reasons. It just works. Ayce is absolutely the type of boy that’s Roy’s type. Kind of small and good for hugging, has fluffy hair and a nice smile, a bit cheeky and dumb but still clever and really charismatic.. and the relationship between the necrotic boys and bonding over that was a bonus. It probably would have worked in a universe where Ayce’s life wasnt fucked and Roy chose not to do necromancy. It was sweet and cute and perfect without the angst but it was heartbreaking and tragic and awful WITH the angst. I loved the potential for the love and cute bits and even more so I loved the potential for all the heartbreak and the angst.

Endoza loves Milo Corazon with every ounce of his heart and he was interested in Ayce because it was Ayce that made him know it was possible. Truly, and really possible, to bring back someone from the dead.

I know that’s evil for me as a player to continue this plotline but it made sense in character. Roy was interested. And it was mistaken for romantic interest.

And Roy... didn’t mind. He genuinely loves Ayce. More than he expected to for just a person he was going to use as a stepping stool for his goal (it sounds awful, I’ve KNOWN this). And I as the player loved it.. I loved Royce because not only did I get to attach my character to something else but it just worked so well narratively. It was unexpected and it was beautiful and it was tragic and I’ve known that the honeymoon phase of Royce was only going to last for a few months before it collapsed into this deep well of never turning back and yet I kept pushing and chugging for this relationship to happen bc I really wanted the drama that I knew would come along with it (also it just WORKS narratively)

Basically my Thoughts on The Gods / Being a Champion

To be honest I’m unsure how none of you ever found my story to be bullshit when Roy himself never had faith in the gods. He has absolutely no relationship with his god and he only used them as a stepping stone for his lie and it worked, even though I messed up so many times and admitted I never trusted them.

Which.. why would Roy trust a God who doesnt know him at all? Or even more so, if the God supposedly knows “everything about Roy” yet didn’t attempt to stop Roy on his endeavour of necromancy despite being heavily against necrotic magic. Or why the Gods who are so against necromancy would choose a boy who was bought back to life and a necromancer himself. It was silly and Roy thinks the gods were stupid in their choosings.

In his mind Roy believes that the gods have no power. They’re weak and that’s why they make people to their gritty work, because they can’t do it themselves. In his mind, Roy doesn’t quite believe everything their saying. Roy Endoza doesn’t care about about being a champion, but he’s curious...

Beshaba was obviously wanting the keys because of their immense power, so he thought that maybe he can use it for himself. Unlock a power that nobody else has or could, use it not for anyone but himself and Milo. He wasn’t on anyone’s side. Neither the gods or Beshaba. He only wants to save his loved ones and himself even if it meant committing blasphemy.

The first time I ever talked to Lathandar he was already so far down the rabbit hole. Roy already had no respect for the gods and was going through with his plans anyway, so his god trying to talk him out to it just felt like a massive joke to him. Why do you care now when you never cared before?

But yet I asked him questions anyway. To use him, to find out more. I asked him about the magic readings and I asked him about the keys and I asked him about the world beyond Sanctuary and I asked him about Beshaba.

All to find out that the gods are.. basically inefficient and that they were evil once. That beyond sanctuary they were corrupt and then they suddenly “grew a conscious” (Roy finds it hard to believe that people, even Gods, can just “stop being corrupt”) and when they got embarrassed of their actions, closed off the rest of the world. They do nothing except sit and let their champions do things and are scared of Beshaba; one God vs the four of them. But why are they scared when they have collective power and the keys? They could banish Beshaba themselves with their power alone. This is why Roy doesn’t (and has never) believed in what the gods stand for. He is only using them, and the only reason he stayed was because of Ayce and Fox.

As I’m writing this, it’s just after the Gala episode. I’ve put my heart and soul and emotions into Roy so a part of my kind of has a distaste for them too (I’m so fking sorry Keiran but theyre just so lazy I cant 😭)

Anyway, it's weird. I've been playing this entire campaign knowing that everybody puts their entire faith and trust into the gods but I just never have.. (or at least Roy doesn't so it's hard for me too). I'm really only following them to benefit myself, and that's exactly what happened but I can't help but feel like Beshaba might actually be trying to save us from this prison of the world they've made (or something poetic like that). I guess I also just think it's because it might be cool that the main villain was the good guys all along and we were the bad guys. Maybe it turns out that I'll be wrong, and I won't even be mad for it. But maybe I'll be right and I'll be the smuggest bitch in the world. Who knows what will happen.

I guess some insight on how I feel abt Roy and the PCs

I guess it doesn't really matter bc at this point in the campaign I've already made my actions and set myself as a villain. Whether or not you guys see me as one is a mystery and I'm both dreading and excited what your pinions on Roy will be as he's made his downfall into a villain.

It's funny, to be honest. With the way I wrote him, I always was going to make him progressively more hatable. He starts off as a trustworthy guy but you eventually find out that he was lying about his past to cover up for himself. He breaks the trust of the players and he uses them for his own progressive goal. But when I wrote him, I thought playing a character like this would be hilarious. I've played him exactly how I imagined, even better than I imagined, but I didn't think I'd feel so attached and heartbroken breaking your trust.

I think for the entire campaign I've believed that it was possible to save him.. maybe just talking to him and getting him to open up a bit more. It might have made all the difference. I'm not blaming my actions as Roy on the players not helping him, bc it definitely was Roy's fault, but I like to think of the alternate universe where I felt less lonely bc despite having friends and a boyfriend there was so many points where Roy just feels so alone and I just felt this deep pit in my chest from that lonliness. It's so dumb and stupid how much love I've put into Roy that I can feel what he feels.

And so all that fighting after Solardome when our friends got kidnapped, all the arguing and the stress and disagreements and then eventually Fox leaving and Ayce not interacting.. it was all just little pieces of sadness and loneliness trickling down and then by that point it was just too late to save him.. I like to think that maybe if it was a bit earlier then he could have got over it. Changed his mind, maybe.

Despite that all and desite feeling stressed and lonely and mad and everything that Roy ever felt, I've absolutely loved writing and playing this genuinely good person and seeing him turn rotten and become a villain on his own without realizing it. I never thought I would ever write a character go from the top and fall to bedrock, or even that I'd do it

well

, but he's so much. I think right now I love it. I love the drama I love the suspense and I love seeing what you'll all think of when you discover the Fall Of Roy.

Basically my Thoughts on Miss Winters

So the campaign moves on and I meet Miss Winters pretty shortly and we make a deal to "Discover How To Bring The Dead To Life". It was shortly after I met Ayce so I was aware it was possible. Roy absolutely had nothing to lose at this point, and he would do anything so he said yes. So for the duration of the campaign we helped each other trade information and most importantly look for a spirit stone.

At Solardome, the President Medeanne asked us to eradicate the witch and her skeletons and provide proof. And Roy wrecklessly put himself at the forefront without thinking. At that point I thought maybe she had lost her mind or something.

And then we unmasked her and she was dead. A rotted corpse.

And after making you all leave; I killed her.

Roy Endoza’s never had difficulty putting down the undead and so one more wasn’t a huge deal, but at the time it felt like such a loss because it was his only connection to information. In the end, it hadn’t of mattered because we retrieved a spirit stone anyway.

It was really only about a session or two later when I realized that I never actually killed Miss Winters. I only killed the corpse she was controlling and that real Miss Winters ran off with two spirit stones.

And so it took a LONG time (or at least in real time lmao) before we ended up going back to Origin, which was the only place I knew where to contact her and she was.. gone.

[sweatytyrantwhispers]

Part 4 of things my friends do that make me love them even more:

- both rachel and cristine are artistically talented and i cant fucking wait to see them become famous doing the things they love (i know theyll becoem famous i believe in them tht much) (rachel has a great singing voice; cristine has a great singing voice, knows how to play various intstruments, loves acting, and can paint/draw amazingly)

-seth tells me some catchphraes his fav youtubers say whenever we talk

-none of my friends (nor I) knows how to react or what to say most of the time, especially when it comes to gift giving and compliments; we’re all oblivious and awkward people that don’t understand society

-andy messes up on what to say to customer service people when its evening/night time cus we usually go out around tht time but he’s used to sauing have a good day

-andy also hates intersections so he’ll pretend hes walking in the other direction (away frm the intersection), stand on the sidewalk and pretend hes doing something, or take a whole other route if theres a car nearing the intersection bc he says it feels awkward

-rachel’s favorite animals are dogs and raccoons so when i send her a post abt raccoons she gets rly excited and says she wants to hv a raccoon as a pet when she grows up. She also gets excited when i point out a dog to her in public (she cant see it cus no glasses but still excited by its genert presence)

-dina is scared of lightning so I always try to ask her if shes alright when theres a thunderstorm

-when we go to the park, rachel almost always tries to make tiktoks. We always end up interrupting and annoying her while she makes them though, sorta like our little routine.

-last time we went to the park, rachel ended up accidentally hitting meng and I directly on the face with the volleyball (its ok though cause im pretty sure we’ve ended up accidentally hitting each other with the ball at least once)

-when i got hit with the ball dina asked me if i was ok but as she moved towards me she went for the ball (we were playing monkey in the middle and she was one of the monkeys); its just funny and i love that our friendship is at a point where we could laugh about it and everything is fine

-i told my friends that i was depressed before going to the park to hang out w them. when i got there i kinda just sat on the ground looking through reddit with music on high. they all tried their best to talk to me and tell me funny stories (they said they overheard a group of kids talking about how they pantsed another dude) to cheer me up. Dina and Rachel both decided to give me a hug at the same time and i toppled over. Dina gave me a hug again. I love them so much

- Andy called me while i was in class to tel me to look at the sunset. Its something that both of us have done a few times because we both love sunsets and usually see them when we’re out. Its a small thing but it makes me love my friends even more.

-I was on voice call with Rachel on discord and she laughed then sent the group chat a link to a tiktok

-(not my friend but my mom) She knows that i hate it when things are thrown out when they’re still good or can still be repurposed. Someone brought flowers home for some reason (i forgot why) but she was putting the flowers in a vase one day. Some of the flowers broke off the bigger portion of the stem and couldn’t be put into the big vase but she put a bunch of them into a small container for me and gave it to me. I loved it even though we did hv to throw it out like a few weeks later.

-My friends and I were at Central Park and we were waiting for my two friends to finish up taking pictures. Meng and I were taking a short nap (him sitting down w his elbows on his legs and me w my head on his shoulder) while we waited. We also shared my earbuds to listen to my music. I was p sleepy so I was on the verge of sleeping my also sorta aware of what was going on (mainly cus we were guarding our stuff while everyone else was taking pictures elsewhere). I was doing that thing you do when you’re nodding your head while trying to stay awake/go to sleep. I kept on doing that until he eventually sat up a bit more and pushed my head onto his shoulder better

-Samir looked at a shirt with george washington on it and confidently said that was benjamin franklin

-Dina was talking about how she kept on eating shrimo and peanuts even though she has a mild allergy to it. Rachel and I were telling her to stop and tht we’re not bringing it to the picnic on sunday cus we dont want her dying. She responded, very confidently, tht she “hasnt died before”

-Samir calls dina “d-money”

-Rachel gave me a hug as an im sorry for taking so long. (I genuinely didnt care cus even tho they do take a long time i still v much love them)

-Rachel takes tiktoks and videos of us while we’re out

-Rachel and Dina both got v the excited when i wore a skirt out today because I usually dress more masculine

-A few weeks ago (i think) my friends and I were at the park. I was trying to do something to meng and tripped and fell on the park ground (the part where there’s basically a bunch of tiny rocks on/in the floor). Meng was also trying to do that thing where two people hold a person’s arms and legs and swing them back and forth with me but forgot that if you take someones legs off the floor with no one else holding my arms, i would fall head first onto the park ground, which i did. Both times I laughed at myself but everyone rushed to me while laughing. Idk why but it made me feel like I was ok and safe, even if i was in so much pain, srsly i couldve had a concussion.

- Rachel and I both got excited bc we both wanted to got to the same college

-I call andy when im walking home by myself at night (or when the route im taking doesn’t necessarily hv a lot of people of lights) and he just vibes with me (sometimes talks to me abt how i should b home) until i get home safely

-idk if i already put this but Andy and I have a safe word when we think there might be someone behind us following us at night bc one time when walking home we thought tht and used our now safe word to see if there was someone

-Rachel and Dina do this thing where they take their hand and go from the side of someone else’s body (where the arms are) to the bottom of their legs rly fast while theyre walking. They call it “full body stroke”. They shared it w me and now we do it to meng almost every time we go out. Sometimes we do it together (one person per side).

-While at Central Park there was a dude that was singing (he was rly good). He started singing “Lean on me” by Bill Withers and my friends started singing along with him.

-Rachel sent me a tiktok knowing full well that itd make me gay panic bc yk ✨w o m e n✨

-Dina, Alan, and I stayed out after everyone else went home cus yk they were tired. Dina and I decided to talk like white girls/pick me girls the rest of the night with their stereotypical voices. We laughed the entire time and created weird storylines including: Jessica (Dina), Olivia (me), Jayden (Jessica’s boyfriend and brother that created on Jessica with me and Nicole), Nicole (Jessica’s friend), Olivia’s dad (a convicted felon in all 50 states and is dead), Jessica’s dad (a lawyer that’s also running for president, and Alan (he was just roped into our bs and was there to act like the dude that we both wanted to have as our bf).

- When we were in the bathroom and washing our hands, Dina waited until after the other woman in the bathroom to leave before coming up to me and, in a discreet whisper, told me that the soap was what “good pussy sounds like”

- Rachel, Dina, and I saw a few cats on our way to meet up with Alan and we played w the cats for a bit before one of them said “pspspspsp come here alan” to one of the cats. We now do this frequently to each other even though we hate it.

- We have corrupted each other to the point where we cannot hang out without someone saying “that’s what she said”, something about Dina being white, “just like this dick”, and “deez nuts”. We laugh about it a lot

- Rachel and I are both reasonably out of energy both mentally and physically after our jobs so when I walked w her to a mall w the rest of her friends, we both walked silently with a bit of catching up cause we both understood how the other felt

-We had a water balloon fight today at work (Alan, Rachel, and I work together). Obviously, I took the chance to pop as many balloons over rachel’s head and dump water on her. She tried to spray me w water using a water gun though. Afterwards gave the towel i brought to rachel cause she needed it to change. It’s important to note that rachel has purple hair right now and that the towel was white. key word: was. The towel was now stained a light purple (I dont mind but damn)

- i made rachel a purple raccoon by crocheting it (purple and pink actually). I finished it yesterday (sunday) and gave it today to her at work (monday). I opened the door a bit and peeked my head in with the raccoon just below me in my hands. She was confused at first but then saw the raccoon and her eyes lit up. It was rly cute🥰🥺 to see her get excited. We both nicknamed the raccoon “pimp jr.” and i made a lil name tag/from to tag that said it.

- rachel likes to lip-sync to music shes either listening to or hears in store and sometimes does a little dance with it. Its so cute and I love looking at her do it because it reminds me of why I adore her. She also goes hard when it comes to singing at karaoke. Like damn her vocal range is astounding

- dina got so excited when i asked her if she wanted to binge watch all the twilight movies with me. She looked so cute cus its one of her favorite movies. ugh i love my friends.

-a lot of dudes have crushes on rachel and dina and the both of them usually just try their best to avoid the person or avoid confronting them. Idk why but it kinda makes me feel grateful that I’m close friends with them because I used to have a crush on both of them before when we first met. When I told them i used to have crushes on them they didn’t act weird about it or anything and we continued to be friends. I’m so fucking grateful I’m their friend despite my initial crush on them cause they’re two of them most amazing people I’ve met my entire life.

-rachel, meng, alan, and I went to go watch Shang Chi in movies. In the last few scenes (which were v tense btw) rachel nd I both got rly anxious and squeezed each others hands bc we were scared out favorite characters were gonna get hurt. She squeezed the fuck out of my hand to the point where I couldn’t feel it anymore and neither could she. I’m ok with that though cus I’m glad she finds comfort in squeezing the living fuck out of my hands.

-dina, rachel, and I have matching bracelets from hot topic and i see them wear it almost every time we hang out. Alan and I have a matching pair too but I dont think he’s going to wear it very much (issok tho).

-We went to karaoke yesterday and I dont know how I just realized this but while she’s singing, dina likes to move around a lot. It’s not exactly dancing but not particularly just moving around. Its kinda like that tiny thing ppl do when they’re alone and playing their favorite songs on blast. She’s so cute when she does it, esp because she seems so happy when she does it. Even though I absolutely despise Justin Bieber, I would play his songs over and over again on blast if it made her as happy as she has made me.

-dina and I like to go to the swings and blast “Happier Than Ever” with earbuds in (we share a pair for this) and she screams along to it for the second half

-it’s become a “tradition” for us to go to the swings (most of time) after we’ve done the initial things we already planned out because dina and I love the swings.

[franeridart]

Didn't they all take the practical exam at the same time in the manga?? I'm confused....

Yeah, they changed that part orz I’m really unhappy about that for a number of reasons, but I guess their reasoning was that they wanted the anime to end with the Baku Deku vs All Might fight and in the manga that’s, like, the second fight to be done with? And if they had kept the order the anime would have ended with Mineta and Sero, so… I guess I get why they went for this, but still. I can’t say I like it orz

Anon said:I’m sure you’re expecting this ask but kiribaku study date!! :3 I can’t believer Bakugou ACTUALLY tried to beat the learning into kirishima XD

Well, it’s beginning-of-the-story-Bakugou after all, what else could we even expect from him hahaha Kirishima passed the written part tho, so it must have worked!!

Anon said:Wait hold up you’ve got me interested now. So I’m like a little past halfway through soul eater and I haven’t started the manga YET (I totally will now that you’ve suggested it) but… When did tsubaki turn into a boy??

It doesn’t happen in the anime! It’s ch 72 to… 74? 75? They go somewhere where all the girls get turned into boys and vice versa for a while! (That’d be Soul, Maka, Blair, Black Star, Tsubaki, Liz, Patty, Kilik, Thunder and Fire) (Liz and Patty look especially amusing lmao)

Anon said:what do u think abt kats*deku???? If u dont ship them - why?

I’m pretty sure I gave an in depth answer to this question a couple of times already, but do you think I’ve been able to find it? (I haven’t) so to make a fast recap, I only like them as friends, nothing sexual and nothing romantic - I really, really, really want to see them become friends, but I can’t see the necessary chemistry for any other kind of relationship between them, right now

And that’s also why I don’t ship it? I just can’t see it working in a way such that both of them are as happy as they can be, and I only ship if I can see both characters being happy in the relationship - foundamentally Bakugou and Izuku are different on all the wrong things, a big part of the reason why they fight so much is that their ways of living are different, to make a space for each other in their lives big enough that they won’t step on each other’s toes every two steps they take they should change their core personalities a lot. 

And I’m not talking about Bakugou, specifically, I’m talking about both of them. I do know that the fandom likes to pick Bakugou and turn his personality inside-out to make him fit with Deku in such a way that Deku will be happy, but realistically that’s only gonna make Bakugou miserable. It’s true that most faults rest on Bakugou’s shoulders as far as their relationship goes, but Deku isn’t the sort of person fit to be with Bakugou either - and I can’t have Bakugou make a 180° on his personality, force himself to be someone he’s not, just to accomodate Deku. I like Bakugou as he is, and I want to see him grow up while growing into himself. And while I do prefer Bakugou as a character, I happen to like Deku as he is very much as well, I don’t want him to turn into another person just to accomodate Bakugou’s personality either

So this turns into “either I change these two characters to make them fit together, or I let them be just friends and actually find characters that do fit with them as they are already”, and personally, I’m always gonna go for the second option. I mean, why would I want to ship them when I can ship bakushima t b h

Of course you’re free to ship it if to you the chemistry is more obvious than it is to me! It’s just not my cup of tea at all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anon said:Could I possibly see a comic with Kirishima being tied between Ashido and Bakugo??? I thought it’d be cute since some people *cough cough* me *cough* may or may not be tied between Kirimina and Bakushima. :3

I………….. can’t do that, sorry orz triangles aren’t my thing at all. It’s either the polyship or bakushima, triangles get on my nerves more than any other plot device does to be completely honest with you. Triangles are the bane of my existence

Anon said: Hi there! I just wanted to say I’ve been scrolling through all your Bakushima art for ages and it’s healed me :,) fr tho i lov how you portray them and their dynamic and you have a lovely art style! Thank you for blessing us ahah

AHHHHHHHHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH OH MY GOD!!!!! (●´□`)♡

Anon said:hey there! just wanted to drop by and let you know that I find your art super inspiring? like i am IN LOVE with your art style, and I absolutely adore it. i love how the characters you draw have perfect expressions, i love how natural their poses look and i love how you portray characters friendships + relationships in comics it feels completely natural. even if im not into the stuff you draw, i love looking at it because its so great?? keep being wonderful because you deserve good things ^u^

Holy shit thank you??? I honest to god don’t know how to answer this??? means a lot??? fuck thank you I might go and cry for a bit ( •̥̥̥ω•̥̥̥ )

Anon said:Hey your art of sero carry bakugou give me life honestly good posts all around

Thank you!!!! :O Sero carrying Bakugou is something I myself need more of in my life tbh hahaha what a good concept I should draw more

Anon said:your latest bakugou I’m crying… he’s gorgeous and Buff and strong and could highkey bench press me I’m swooning

GLAD YOU LIKED HIM!!!!! :O you guys actually liked that one WAY more than I thought anyone would holy smokes!!

Anon said:Umm… I hope you don’t mind, but I showed a friend so e of your work, and I think it got you a new follower lol they really liked what I showed, and when I told them you do Kaminari, too, that was that. Can’t talk fave artists, without you 💜✌

:O !!!!!!!!!!!! why would I mind omfg, thank you so much!!!!!

Anon said:Okay, now I’ve been through your account since 2 hours ago, i can say I’m officially Bakushimanari trash. Omg i had never seen something as good as what you did to these three. (Btw sorry if my english’s not very good, but i had to say this)

!!!! Happy you liked them!!!!! They’re a good group, those three (灬ºωº灬)♡

Anon said: Yesterday was a shitty day, but today I woke up and saw your art, and stalked your blog, so I feel today will be a much better day. Happy boys are good. Never stop making happy boys happy.

I hope your day was actually a great one, anon!! And I hope today was great for you as well!!! And thank you so much for liking my stuff, happy boys are indeed my greatest weakness and favorite subject to draw haha happy boys and girls and nb and anything else too, really, happy people are good for my soul~

Anon said:Someone doesn’t know Soul Eater?! Now I feel old (・・;)

Haha, well it’s not really about being old/young as much as it’s about how long one’s been into anime/how far back they go when they decide to watch something new~ Soul Eater hasn’t had an active fandom for ages now, after all!

[cookinguptales]

i know this is a weird request but i feel like homura and karamatsu might get along well for whatever reason and id really love to read a ficlet where they get to have a conversation for the first time and they just start talking to each other abt their bfs

Sorry for the delay… I took some time to think about how I wanted to do this. I eventually decided to combine this with Tanabata. (Though I’m open to writing other Tanabata fics, too, come to think of it. It’s that time of year.)

I just went with “Homura” bc frankly it’s easier.

Karamatsu wasn’t stupid. Not really. His brothers treated him like his head was in the clouds and his brain starved for oxygen, but he noticed things. He noticed the way that Jyushimatsu had carefully kept her away from all of them. He noticed the way that Jyushimatsu had stood a little straighter, his spine a little stronger, when they all eventually crowded around to greet her. He noticed that Jyushimatsu had not allowed any of them to talk to her one-on-one since she’d come home.

He understood that, sort of. He didn’t know Homura’s whole story, but he got the impression that her life had been difficult. She smiled so sweetly at his little brother, but there was a fragility in the shadows within her eyes. Jyushimatsu had a sort of wariness to his eyes now when he watched his brothers interact with his new-old girlfriend. It wasn’t the edge of jealousy that Karamatsu saw in him, though. Just the hard-won knowledge of what they were capable of. Jyushimatsu knew they could hurt her so damn easily — and perhaps would, if given half a chance.

He understood that. He didn’t like it, but he understood it. He’d never seen Jyushimatsu look at anyone the way he looked at her, like she was a star on the edge of supernova, something too beautiful and too tenuous for him to even comprehend. He understood that, too. Sort of.

It wasn’t until the night of the festival that he finally got a chance to talk to Homura alone, and the opportunity came to him purely by accident. He’d stayed over at Chibita’s cart mooning until he’d been shooed away, Chibita insisting that he was going to scare away all his festival-going customers if he kept being all sappy like that in public. He was probably right, at that. But on such a romantic night, air heavy beneath a starlit sky, he just couldn’t help but sigh over love finally found and returned. It was such a lovely night for love.

Once banished from the oden cart, though, he’d found himself wandering aimlessly through the festive streets. His brothers were off doing their own thing, as they did more and more often these days, and the crowds parted like a turbulent sea before him as he walked. It might have been the yukata. (Karamatsu thought it was beautiful. Incandescent. “Gaudy” had been Chibita’s word.) With no one to talk to, the festival wasn’t quite as fun as it might’ve otherwise been.

And then he saw her. She was tying her wish to one of the crowded stalks, and Karamatsu was close enough to see it flutter in her hands, but not close enough to see what it read. She looked so pretty there in her kimono, hair tucked up with an ornate hairpin. And yet so alone. Where was Jyushimatsu?

“Homura-san?” -san? -chan? He still wasn’t really sure where he stood with her. It would be clear to anyone who stood too close to her and Jyushimatsu for more than a minute or two that she’d be a part of their family eventually, but in the meantime… He’d really barely spoken to her.

“Ah!” She turned around to face him, looking a little flustered. “Good evening, um…” She hesitated for a minute, worrying at her lower lip.

Oh. Right. “Karamatsu,” he supplied, and her cheeks darkened. It put a strange feeling in his stomach, being confused with the rest of his brothers like that. Most people who cared enough to learn their names already knew them. Homura felt fresh and new and a little frightening.

Karamatsu thought back to the way it’d felt when he’d started dating Chibita. It’d been like shrugging into an old sweatshirt. Like turning around and noticing the shadow that had always been there. Karamatsu was constantly surprised by the newness of being loved, but it was always tempered with the familiarity of a friend he’d grown old with. Or, grown up with, at least. Whether they’d grow old together still remained to be seen.

He hoped so.

He cleared his throat a little, and took a few steps closer to where she stood fidgeting, waiting for him. “It’s no problem, my lady. Learning new faces takes time,” he said, and gave her his most charming smile. Well, “new” faces might be an overstatement, but…

She stared at him for a moment, then covered her mouth as a little giggle escaped from her throat. “You’re the second brother, right? Jyushimatsu told me how, um, funny you are,” she said, wiping budding tears from the corner of her eyes.

Funny? That was how Jyushimatsu had described him? Well… It was better than painful, he supposed… “Where is Jyushimatsu?” he asked, hoping to steer the conversation away from the hilarity that was apparently his existence.

“He went to get some shaved ice, I think…” she said, turning to glance over her shoulder back at the crowd. “He’s been gone for a long time, though.”

Karamatsu shrugged. If any one of them could worm his way out of trouble, it was probably Jyushimatsu. “The lines are long during the festival,” he said, and that was probably true.

She smiled at him, though, like he’d done her a kindness, and he felt his own cheeks starting to heat. He could tell why Jyushimatsu liked her. He brushed his hair back, an artful tousle or maybe a nervous tic, and smiled back.

“Are you having a fun time at the festival?” she asked politely, and Karamatsu thought back to the tanzaku he’d seen her hang. Best not to ask. That would be rude.

Instead, he just nodded. “Though I’ve mostly just been at the oden cart,” he admitted.

“With… Chibita, right?” she asked.

Karamatsu cocked his head to the side, then nodded. Jyushimatsu must have told her about Chibita, too. He wondered what he’d said. “Best oden in the city,” he said, and it was only partially a lover’s devotion that prompted him to say it. The other part was that Chibita would probably have murdered any one of them if they’d bought any oden but his, so Karamatsu hadn’t tried the competition in years. He could assume, though. Chibita’s was awfully good.

“Oh?” she asked, and her eyes twinkled a little. “Does he have a secret ingredient?”

Karamatsu smiled and rubbed at his chin, hoping he looked suitably dashing. Chibita would probably say that the secret ingredient was “guts” or “blood” or something terrifying like that. Karamatsu knew the truth, though. “Love.”

Homura bit down on her lower lip again, and Karamatsu suspected, with slight heaviness of heart, that she was trying not to laugh. “That’s very… traditional,” she said.

“It’s true, though,” he said. “Chibita puts everything he has into his food. Truly, his oden is boiled with the fires of love.” He’d seen the proof himself. He’d woken up to Chibita doing prep work, and he’d fallen asleep with Chibita still putting away the cart. He’d walked home with Chibita after a long day at the cart, catching at his elbow whenever he wobbled and carrying whatever Chibita would trust him with. Chibita put his heart and his soul into that oden, and even if it wasn’t refined, would never be found in a chic cafe or a trendy food magazine, it was food filled with love and devotion. Karamatsu could taste it every time. Chibita cooked like he kissed, overwhelming and tender in turn, and sometimes it made Karamatsu’s heart swell up, overfull, to see him work. (And other times, well, it was still a little scary. A lot scary. Terrifying.)

Homura studied his face for a moment, then blinked in surprise at what she found there. “I’m sorry, Karamatsu-kun. Jyushimatsu didn’t tell me it was like that between you two,” she said.

And fuck, was he really that obvious? It was just — it felt like all his happiness came bubbling right out of him whenever he talked about Chibita now. He couldn’t hide the way he felt when he opened his mouth. Despite himself, he felt the light blush on his cheeks darken to a deep crimson. “Ah.. Yes…” he murmured.

He needn’t have worried about her reaction, though. Homura just smiled at him, bigger than she had all night, and beamed. “I’m so glad that you have someone like that, Karamatsu-kun. All of you seemed so lonely at first.”

“Eh?” At first? Just how long had she been watching them? Jyushimatsu might’ve told her some, maybe… But really, Karamatsu realized, even as Jyushimatsu had played guard dog to keep Homura safe, she’d still been able to look outward. At all of them. And maybe being new and fresh and a little disconcerting had given her a unique view. Karamatsu shifted uncomfortably. Most people looked at sextuplets and thought they’d never feel alone, not ever. They couldn’t understand how lonely it could be to have the same face as five other people, none of whom particularly liked you. Something told him, though, that Homura knew an awful lot about loneliness.

He swallowed. “I’m glad you have someone, too, Homura-san,” he said. Because she did, didn’t she? Anyone could see how much Jyushimatsu loved her. Anyone could see the way she lit up for him. He wasn’t sure anyone had ever smiled like that for him. (But maybe Chibita would, someday.)

Now it was her turn to look down, to blush. “I didn’t think I’d ever get that chance,” she admitted quietly. “I feel so lucky.”

“But you’re so…” So sweet. Beautiful. Normal. Maybe a little giggly, and probably a little touched if she loved Jyushimatsu so much, but infinitely normal compared to the rest of them. He didn’t know what her life had been like or what had hurt her so deeply. He didn’t know why she’d had to leave Jyushimatsu, either. Or even why she’d come back. But he had a feeling all that had something to do with the wish she’d hung up with trembling fingers.

Her hands knitted together in front of her, and she didn’t look up at him. “I’ve done…things,” she murmured, quiet. “Have you ever felt trapped, Karamatsu-kun? Like the walls are closing in and you might never get out? Like — like you helped build those walls yourself, so maybe you deserve it?”

He did, at that. He knew exactly what it was like to be in a trap of his own devising. In a quagmire that he’d created with his own two hands. To be sinking below the surface, and to know that his lifeline was sinking right next to him. He nodded jerkily. She had to know that. Hell, she was probably a lot more blameless in whatever had hurt her than he’d been with his own strife. Than they’d all been.

She sighed a little, but it wasn’t a sad sound. It was just a little bit of the tension that’d been inside her for years finally finding a way out. “I don’t feel like that anymore,” she said. “Jyushimatsu makes me feel… free.”

And Chibita had appeared to him like an angel on high and offered him his hands. He’d offered him his home. He’d offered him dry land to stand on, secure in his footing for the first time in forever. Karamatsu breathed out slow around the lump in his throat. “That’s beautiful,” he said, and he meant it. It was so beautiful, the things love could make them feel.

She smiled at him, and he could see a slight shine to her eyes. God, he hoped she didn’t cry. Jyushimatsu would never let him around her again. “Yeah,” she said. “You know—”

But whatever he knew, or maybe didn’t know, was interrupted by Jyushimatsu’s gleeful shout, and there he was, two bowls of shaved ice fisted in his hands. “I’ve got it!” he said, and then, a second later, finally seemed to notice his brother standing here. Karamatsu got that. He knew what it was like to have eyes for one person above all else. Jyushimatsu’s expression was unreadable for a moment, unknowable in its joy, and then it straightened out. “I didn’t bring any for you, Karamatsu-niisan.”

“That’s okay,” Karamatsu said, pushing his glasses up on his nose. “I already ate.”

Jyushimatsu tilted his head to the side even as he handed Homura her dessert. “You were bugging Chibita again, weren’t you?” he asked.

Fuck. Absolutely transparent. He’d been so obvious this whole time, hadn’t he?

But Jyushimatsu just laughed. “That’s okay, niisan! Tanabata is for star-crossed lovers, isn’t it?” he said, and that little fucker was teasing him in front of his girlfriend, wasn’t he?

Karamatsu tried not to blush any deeper than he already was. “Oi, doesn’t that describe you two, though?” There was nothing star-crossed about him and Chibita. Not anymore.

Jyushimatsu and Homura looked at each other, and for a moment they looked so fond it almost hurt. But then the moment was gone and they were snickering nervously. “Come on,” Jyushimatsu said, enveloping her hand in one of his and giving her a little tug. “Let’s go look at the lights!”

“Okay, okay,” she said, laughing as she was tugged along. She seemed like she was only too happy to follow. “Let’s go.”

Karamatsu watched them go, their laughter lingering far longer than their backs, and then finally gave into temptation. He looked at the tree and saw not one but two slips that he recognized.

The first, with its bold, clumsy scrawl, was Jyushimatsu’s handwriting. “I WANT TO BE WITH HOMURA-CHAN FOREVER” it said, and Karamatsu’s heart beat painfully in his chest. Next to it was the one he’d seen Homura hanging when he’d arrived. It was much plainer handwriting, neat and kind of girly in a way Karamatsu couldn’t help but be weak to. “I want to be free to love anyone I choose,” it said, and Karamatsu wondered. He wondered.

He felt around in his own pocket until he found his unused tanzaku and a pen. He had ink that sparkled like all the stars in the sky, and he had a wish to write with it. It was such a lovely night for love.

[probably-a-cryptid]

Antivirus (Chapter 2)

wooo this came out a lot quicker than I thought it would! I hope to update every 3-4 days bc school and all, so heres this chapter, dedicated to the lovely @snowbazzledazzle for her birthday that she forgot to tell me abt so heres a late birthday present! 

//

Read here on ao3

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    When Izuku is four years old, his world falls apart.

    Not literally, of course- although in the moment the doctor tells him and his mother about how he’ll never develop a quirk, the latter seems almost preferable.

    Life goes downhill after that. What little friendship Izuku had managed with Bakugou has collapsed, and the bullying has only increased. It’s not out of place to see a certain green haired boy frantically running through the halls, explosions trailing in his wake.

    However, today was a slightly different story. Izuku had hid as soon as the bell had rung, signaling the end of his first day of middle school. After what he estimated as an hour had passed, he crept out of the cabinet that he'd previously been lodged in. Bakugou was faster than him, so Izuku had taken to hiding as opposed to his usual running tactic. He was lucky it had worked this time, though. Last time had resulted in a few scorched bathroom walls and a handle shaped bruise on his back.

    Izuku peered out of the classroom that had been his hideout. The hallways looked empty, so he slunk quietly down them towards the doors at the front of them school. He was so close-

    Izuku threw himself through the nearest open door when he heard a pair of approaching voices around the corner.

    “-and that part when she hacked into all the cameras-” one of the teacher’s voices carried into the classroom Izuku was currently hiding in.

    “Oh, I loved that part! How long did it take her to learn to hack again-” the second teacher chimed in.

    Their voices faded after the two teachers walked past the classroom Izuku was hiding in. Only when he could no longer hear their footsteps did he let out the breath he had been holding. He didn't want to get caught and reprimanded for lingering after school hours, after all.

    As Izuku finally left the school building and started walking home, he thought back a bit to the conversation he’d accidentally eavesdropped on. He hadn’t heard of a quirk called ‘hacking’ before. In fact, no matter how thoroughly he wracked his brain, nothing turned up. Curiosity made him get out his phone and type up then words ‘hacking quirk’. Izuku clicked the searched button and prepared to scroll-

    Only to blink blankly at the ‘no results’ symbol that popped up. Confused, he typed it in again a few different ways, only to get the same result each time. Eventually, he typed in just ‘hacking’ by itself. At least that got results.

    Apparently hacking, or coding, was a skill that people could learn, as opposed to a quirk. As Izuku scrolled through the pages, he got more and more intrigued. Although he couldn’t save people if he learned how to hack, he would have something to do after school.

    Writing a note in his phone before putting it back in his pocket and picking up the pace towards his house, Izuku felt not that much different than usual. Then again, he could never have predicted the effect a single overheard conversation would have on his fate.

    -

    The first time Izuku hacks for anything other than fun or practice, it was out of necessity.

    It was around 6:00 pm when he stumbled on a villain attack. There was no crowd, unlike most fights that he’d been to before. A villain with pure glowing blue eyes seemed to be controlling the pieces of debris around them with their mind. So far, no hero was on the scene. Izuku made himself comfortable near a park bench barely hidden behind a large piece of cement that had landed near it, and waited for a hero to show up.

    Unfortunately, it didn't seem like anyone was coming any time soon.

    Fifteen minutes after the villain attack had started, Izuku- along with what looked like a family of three and two couples- were still the only ones on the scene. It was apparent that no one had phoned a hero or the police either.

    Guess it was up to him.

    Izuku got out his phone and prepared to dial the authorities, but hesitated at the last second. The police would take a long time to get there as they were way on the other side of the city, and likely wouldn’t get to the scene in time. But what else could he do? It wasn't like he could just tell the closest heroes where the crime was.

    Actually, he could.

    Izuku felt his eyes widen in realization before he unlocked his phone and set to work. If he could get through the phones of the nearest heroes, he could tell them to come help. It wasn’t a perfect plan, but it was the fastest thing he could come up with for now.

    He sent off a simple message; the address of the park he was at, as well as a few details about the villain that seemed to have taken a couple hostage. Izuku hastily added that part, too. He then put his phone back in his backpack and began to wait anxiously.

    Luck was on his side that day, as the heroes arrived on the scene quickly. The fight was quick, and Izuku only had to take a few extra notes before it ended. Everyone cleared up the area shortly after the villain was cuffed and taken away.

    The walk home felt nicer than it usually did, the knowledge that he had helped people kept his feet and heart light.

    -

    Izuku was feeling large amounts of deja vu at the moment.

    Again, he was one of the first on a crime scene that the heroes or police had yet to arrive at. The situation went mostly the same way that it did the first time. A quick message to the nearby heroes and all was well. Izuku put away his phone again and thought nothing of it.

    Or he wouldn’t have, if it hadn’t happened again.

    And again.

    And again .

    By the third time that something similar had happened, he had noticed a pattern. The fourth and up times had just been confirming hunches of his. A major problem with the hero patrols that rolled through every day was that they couldn't be everywhere at once. Certain areas were left less protected than others, such as poor areas, while upper class neighborhoods would often be guarded with more heroes than necessary. He had a good idea as to why.

    After Izuku was repeatedly proven correct, he took it upon himself to patrol the areas the heroes sometimes ‘skipped’ over, and it seemed to be working. However, as time went on, he realized that he couldn't possibly cover all the areas that heroes didn't. That was the moment the idea struck him-

    Why did he have to do everything on foot?

    Cameras were easy to locate and get into, and he could cover much more ground quicker that way. Cameras were also everywhere. Even the streets had cameras in the form of traffic cams. In a pinch, he could hack into someones phone if he needed to. He never could quite get rid of the thrill of being in the middle of the scene, though, so he came up with a simple disguise in case anyone might happen to see him. The mask was a plain one that he bought at the nearest store, and the eyeliner had originated from a tutorial he’d seen on how much it would change his eye shape. Better to be safe than sorry on that account, even if it did take him a long time to perfect.

    So began Izuku’s first foray into the world of crime.

    -

    Just as every hero or villain had a name to go by, Izuku was no exception, though the way in which he got his was probably not the most common.

    In the end, he wasn't the one to come up with it.

    “The newest anonymous coding vigilante has once again tipped off the local police to a crime scene. The burning building was luckily put out before much damage could be done-” the TV reporter droned on from the livingroom. Izuku wasn't paying very much attention until he heard himself mentioned, so he quickly tuned in.

    The reporter with several striped snakes for hair had since moved on from the actual event and was currently hosting an impromptu interview with a policeman that had been near the scene at the time.

    The green skinned man was talking about how helpful the hacker had been recently in getting to scenes recently.

    “He's really helping us out right now, ya’know? Almost like, that thing you download to your computer to help get rid of a virus? Antivirus, right- he's like that,” the man rambled on a bit.

    The reporter blinked back at him once, snakes included, before smiling and turning back towards the camera and carrying on with what she had been talking about before.

    “Anyways, the newest vigilante, Antivirus, is to thank for the solving of today's latest crime.”

    And then the station moved on. It took a few seconds for the fact that he had just been given a name to work under to process. When it did hit, however, it hit hard.

    Izuku was an accomplished vigilante. He was on the news. If he was ever caught, he would be arrested.

    That was all pretty amazing, if he thought about it. Except for that last part, but he would think about that later.

    -

    It was his first day of highschool. Izuku could have tried to get into UA, but with his part time job of being almost a hero, he didn't feel the need anymore. He had nothing to prove to Bakugou or anyone, not when he helped people every day already. In a weird sort of way, his ‘after school activities’ had been a form of therapy for him that he didn't know he needed.

    As he stood outside the building that he had been accepted to, Izuku breathed in once before letting it out. The past three years had been crazy, but he had a good feeling about this one.

    -

    His first in-person job of the school year came quickly that same day. Although both sides of the city were extremely quiet today, it looked like there was a villain fight going on in the park on the east side. Parks were the places he had to visit himself most often, as there were rarely any cameras in them. Luckily for him, a food stand with a paranoid owner had a camera installed in it, so it had an okay enough view of the fight. Still, he couldn't make out much.

    It took him a minute or two to arrive at the scene. He had gotten progressively better at roof hopping over the years, and it never took him more than fifteen minutes to get anywhere.

    Something was off about the fight when he got near it. For one thing, he couldn't actually see the villains, only hear them. Another thing was the lack of crowd, which usually happened whenever a crime was happening.

    Instead of getting close to the fight like he usually would, Izuku selected a tree to hide in. His dark green hoodie and hair would blend in well enough, even if it would be a bit precarious to balance his computer in his lap.

    The setup was a quick one. The nearest heroes were a street or two away, so it wouldn't be too hard to get them there quickly-

    He froze. The noise from earlier had stopped, and the entire park was silent. Memories from that incident flashed quickly in his mind like a flame, but were snuffed out just as quickly. This was nothing like that, he told himself mentally, hand coming up to gently rub the hand shaped scar on his chest through his clothes.

    He kept quiet for a bit longer before shifting his position so as to have a better view of the park. The motion unfortunately caused the leaves to rustle, and the next thing he knew, a loud sound shot straight in front of his face.

    Izuku jerked back reflexively, but in doing so fell out of the tree he was perched in. The last thing he heard was someone’s tired voice calling out how they “Weren't supposed to hurt him, idiot, just catch him” before his head hid the ground and his vision went dark.

//

why yes I did leave it on a cliffhanger. why no I'm not sorry at all ((I'm sorry but it gets worse slightly)) beta is @saltier-than-thou as always <3

[riku7se]

2.8 Impressions (spoilers below cut)

Right so I’m trying to keep my main twitter as spoiler-free as possible but I just wanted to write abt what I liked/what I thought bc I’m going stircrazy not having anyone to talk to about this (HURRY UP GLOBAL LAUNCH!!) so I have come to Tumblr.

So: I liked 0.2/BC a lot.  I rly enjoyed the gameplay in 0.2, and loved being able to choose different situation commands in the chance I had activated more than one. The larger spells (ie, Thundagun/Firagun/Blizzagun) were so fucking great.  The scenery was also super beautiful, and I really don’t have any misgivings about the models anymore, I feel like they did a great job.  I’ve seen some people complain about certain story aspects/answers/reveals, but tbh I’m pretty satisfied (more below the cut.)

EVEN BEGINNER WAS KIND OF A BIT DIFFICULT FOR ME TBH LIKE unless you actively speedrun or do crit lv1 run for fun or something pls make your first play on Beginner lmao.

For BC, I’ve been attached to KHx’s story since it launched way back in 2013, so I was ALL OVER hearing more about the foretellers.  And while there are still some odd scene transitions, I am overall super SUPER pleased with it.  It’s worth noting, though, that the initial scene for BC is actually a snapshot replay of THE ENTIRE BROWSER STORY UP UNTIL THE VERY END, so there are spoilers for that.

I’m in the middle of going through 3D rn, and I had to fuckin....slow down the camera bc it was Too Fast For Me.  Otherwise, it’s very interesting to see how they adapted things like Reality Shifts and Link Portals to only use one screen (look at this. Look At This)

Okay, now for more concrete stuff, in largely worded bullet points, pretty much entirely about 0.2 and BC.

0.2

Hearing that Yen Sid forbade Mickey from talking about Aqua because he figured Sora and Riku would drop everything to go after her actually REALLY satisfied me as an explanation, especially after seeing Riku get his panties in a knot after figuring out she had saved him way back in KH1--he was SO READY to go after her.

On a related note, Mickey told Aqua about Sora and RIku helping him when they found the ruined Destiny Islands.  Which puts BbS’s secret ending in a new light, I suppose--kinda like she was glad to hear that whatever Mickey had planned had succeeded.  That she still remembered their names when Mickey asked who she had met on the island warmed my heart a lil.

WHAT IN THE SHIT WAS KKD DOING BEHIND THE DOOR IN THE SECRET PLACE?? iirc Mickey said something about how, seeing as Sora acquired the Keyblade here, then the Keyblade of the Realm of Darkness should be in DI while it, too, is in the RoD...which only brings up questions. 1) Does every Keyblade have a dark counterpart?, or 2) Is Sora’s keyblade actually more special than, say, Aqua’s or Riku’s or Kairi’s?  They do resemble the parts of the x-blade, after all.

The scene with Terra is The Real Terra, but it’s only his heart.  I don’t think he can actually see anything around him so much as feel it??  He can’t see Ven, either, so even Terra proposed that these are illusions that Aqua is conjuring, especially since she is seeing Terra as she once knew him, rather than who he is now.  Speaking of, Xehanort was super using him to get Aqua to reveal where Ven was hiding...I wonder if it was through the armor? This scene also connects to the concert-only sketch with Namine and Terra...hoo boy, though, Terra. It was Terra.  His RAGE AWAKENED chains showed up and I screamed nbd.

THE MUSIC!!! Enchanted Dominion and Dwarf Woodlands had rearrangements of their world theme with the general Dark World theme, and Aqua’s new 0.2 theme (vs Mirror Aqua) sounds like something out of a survival horror game good god. Here’s a playlist.

My only real gameplay complaint was that it sometimes felt like magic took a while to be cast, or that the button presses were unresponsive. I guess it’s kinda like...if you button smash, you can’t interrupt the commands you’ve put in already to case magic??? You gotta let it go through.  Otherwise it controlled really well, and I actually can’t think of a time the camera got in my way.

The game doesn’t tell you that you have to actively jump over the Darkside’s blasts when you’re Flowmotion-ing down the vine, but I actually liked that, you don’t always need a notice for things like that.

They totally remodeled some key scenes (Mickey appearing at the DtD, Aqua walking up to the Dark Margin) and I Got Emo.

THE EFFECTS IN THIS GAME ARE SO NICE you kick up sand clouds when u run on/near DI.....so amaze....fuck this game is beautiful.

There are some light platforming elements back, too! And some really interesting puzzles! Like, one of the challenges in the Castle Town is to get to the highest point there, while Dwarf Woodlands has a puzzle that involves you switching certain set pieces between the “real” and “mirror” worlds, and materializing them from the mirror to where you are in the correct location (using the “reflection” in the mirror) so you can get on them to get to the next area.  For that one, it looks like they can materialize literally ANYWHERE around the mirror, and I’d def do so since you can get to some hidden chests that way.

The red spiky vines in Enchanted Dominion HURT, kill them with fire (literally. don’t physically attack them you risk damage).

THE FINAL BOSS WAS RIDICULOUS, at about 75%-ish health depleted the damn thing goes into the ground, dying it black (and the sky red!!) and it pops back up like some kind of angry cyclone from hell, and the music changes...it was just all really well done and I may have actually vocalized a small “what the FUCK”.

The scenes with Sora were all so good I was grinning like an idiot the entire time...I figured that Sora falling to darkness/nearly being Norted would be KH3′s excuse for pushing him back to level 1, but I never would have expected that a Disney world (Olympus) would actually play a part in Sora getting some of his power back.

Someone translated a pre-release interview saying that we’d see Riku’s new outfit in 0.2 and after looking at the original JP I knew they were wrong....and I was right, that was not what that interview said originally lmao. I’ve already seen people mad about Nomura “lying”, but that was bc the translation was off.

0.2 DEFINITELY infringes a bit on KH3′s territory, which Nomura just said in a recent interview, but I”m glad bc LOOK AT THE BOY.

BC

THE FORETELLERS ARE ALL GOOD KIDS!!! They’re spurned on by uncertainty and fear and all of them, literally all of them, are good children.  Even Aced, who I was prepared not to like, but he just wants to do what’s right and his heart never wavered.

THEY LOVE THEIR MASTER SO MUCH I’M CRY??? A scene with Gula and Ava near the end rly got to me because Gula is just so confused about what he’s meant to do and how he’s meant to do it and he just wants MoM to come back and is willing to summon KH if it means he will.

MoM is a fucking meme lord I love this and I’m sad Nomura said he wouldn’t be showing up in KH3 because WOW is he a meme lord.

I was surprised to hear that MoM was the one that gave Ava the duty to form the Dandelions, since some of the other Foretellers were surprised about it in the game...but that’s because he told them individually, and some of them (Ava’s probably, definitely Gula’s) were meant to be kept on the down low.

Gula’s mission was about the Lost Page, about finding the traitor, who “bears the recusant’s sigil”, and I’m going to punch a MoM because I still don’t know what this means.

The whole traitor thing is wild though, because at this point it’s almost like ALL of them are traitors of some kind by the end, since they all broke apart and were willing to go after each other. But it might also be Gula himself, after going out to collect Lux to summon KH, with Ira and Aced following suit just to try and keep a balance between the unions and then Invi and Ava joining in just to postpone the inevitable.

THE DEARLY BELOVED THEME FOR BC JUST STARTED PLAYING IT’S SO GOOD?? AND SAD, FUCK.

They brought up the strength bangle and the black Chirithy (Thinks about KHx. Dies.) but “Guilt” is called “Strength Bonus” in KHUx global, good job guys.

I cannot believe Luxu is voiced by CV: Tsuda Ken.  What. What.

We still don’t know what’s in that box. In exchange, we now know the eye on “No Name” is, in fact, MoM’s future-seeing eye (and may be...his actual eYE???? DID HE ACTUALLY USE HIS EYE??? I CAN’T TELL WITH MOM HE’S A MEME LORD), which relates to why the Keyblade itself is physically passed down: MoM is using it to see everything that’s happened, which means Luxu was successful in his mission (surviving the war and finding a disciple).  But THE BOX.....MoM just says it can never be opened and when he whispers to Luxu what’s inside Luxu freaks out and asks why.  And Meme Lord Extraordinaire just replies SURPRIIISE.

WHAT WAS LUXU (PROBABLY) DOING AT THE START OF 0.2. WHY R U THERE.

I’M SURE I HAVE SO MANY MORE THOUGHTS but I had so much fun with both 0.2 and BC...I can’t wait until the global release so I can yell abt this with people...