#and then immediately start wishing it was regular season already

[atwhughesversion]

only 3 more days until we get a canucks hockey game ‼️

[sjsmith56]

The Flame Burns From Within, Part 6 - Justice

Summary: After the rescue of Lady Arden, Lord Barnes’ forces continue their pursuit of Lord Pierce’s forces, determined to bring the man to justice.

Length: 6.8 K

Characters: Lord Barnes, Lady Arden, Lady Natasha, Father Bruce, John Walker, Ser Scott Lang, Lord Pierce, Ser Brock Rumlow.

Warnings: Minors DNI - Contains sexual content which may be unsuitable for readers under the age of 18. Description of graphic violence resulting in injury and/or death, angst.

Author notes: This is the final part of this story. Although most things are period appropriate there are some changes from normal practices of the times. Bathing was not a regular habit. Men were not permitted in the birthing rooms, except for royal courtiers to confirm the birth happened as reported. Boots were not yet invented as footwear was softer in nature and confined to covering just the feet, although there could be wrappings extending up the leg. Women were not given sovereignty in their marriage for centuries. Muslims living in a Catholic country would be forced to recant their faith and become Christian. Even then, they could expect to be persecuted (as would those born Jewish). The term braies refers to a linen undergarment with a drawstring waist worn by men. They could be long - extending down to the calf, shorter - extending to the knee, a shorter boxer length, or in a stylish version referred to as Italian braies, looking very much like a minimal brief. Source - http://www.cloakedanddaggered.com/related-search/15th-century/#:~:text=Menswear%20at%20it's%20simplest%20consisted,was%20to%20be%20improperly%20dressed. The image above was created by the author using Microsoft Copilot app (because I have no artistic skills to make my own). Divider by vecteezy.com.

<<Part 5

Part 6 - Justice

Lady Arden

When I saw James' tracker in the forest, Natasha had already spotted him and left our hiding place to sneak up on him, giving me no opportunity to tell her that he was friendly. Her skills as she crept through the greenery were impressive. As I wondered how a maidservant could have acquired such abilities that allowed her to take a seasoned soldier as her prisoner, she acknowledged James, releasing his man immediately. I suddenly understood that she was the spy who had spent the past year in Pierce's domain. Obviously, her story was not a simple one, for women in our time were not given free reign to become adept at the art of subterfuge. Then I was called out of hiding and approached James, our passionate embrace taking over my thoughts. With the restoration of my wedding ring to my hand, our marriage was no longer secret. From this day forward I would be known to all as the Lady of the House Barnes.

James offered us the option of staying behind with Father Bruce, who had accompanied him, but once we saw into each other's eyes, Natasha and I knew that we wished to continue on with my husband. Soon, we were on the road, moving at a brisk pace to catch up with the rest of James' force. When they came into view, he sent a rider to bid them stop for a moment so that we could catch up. My uncle came forth, welcoming me with gladness and affection, reconfirming that in our hearts we were of the same family.

After enlightening the others of Walker's plan to intercept us, James gave the order to proceed, and we started again in the direction of the port. After only a short time of riding James' scouts returned with the news that Walker was waiting openly around the next bend, with about 20 of his own men and 10 sell swords. All of them were prepared for battle, by what the scouts could tell from where they hid, unseen by the other party. James had almost 100 men with him, so he instructed half of them to remain back for a short time while he and the others approached Walker's position.

"My Lady, Lady Natasha, please remain back with the rest of my men. I expect to begin a battle shortly after our arrival."

As much as we wished to witness the capture of Walker, we both knew it was better to allow James and his men to focus on their objective without worrying about our safety. We stayed back with those extra men, my uncle and Father Bruce, who approached Lady Natasha.

"I took the liberty of searching for a crucifix on the soldier, Riley," he said gently. "I thought you would want it, as well as what was attached to it. I believed he meant for you to have it."

She said nothing until he reached into his pocket and withdrew the necklace that Riley wore. On it was a small gold crucifix and a ring. Natasha's lip trembled when she read the inscription written on the inside of the ring, then she smiled sadly at the priest.

"Thank you, Father," she answered, with some difficulty. "I will cherish both forever."

Within an hour James and his men returned, with John Walker tied to his horse, his face, and clothes bloody. He glared at me and shook his head in disbelief.

"They said you and the traitorous maidservant disappeared into the forest, taken by demons in the fog. They found your accomplice though, leaving him to his death." He spat onto the road, then looked towards James, whose face remained impassive.

"My father will not stand for this," stated Walker, still defiant. "He will demand my release from the King."

"Your father has already been arrested," said James. "Your association with Lord Pierce and Ser Brock sealed your fates and the fate of his estate. As far as the King is concerned, your father is just as much a traitor as you are, since several of his men, wearing Walker insignia, were at the church, helping to set it on fire. If you are fortunate enough to be allowed to live it will be in a dungeon where you will never see the light of day again. Otherwise, you can expect to be hung, drawn, and quartered as you deserve."

"Then kill me now," he muttered. "I will not be caged."

Natasha rode to him and raised her dagger, ready to plunge it into his chest. He offered no resistance, so she sliced his cheek open instead, in the same manner I had slashed Lord Pierce's cheek. She sheathed the dagger then spat upon his face and returned to my side. Lord Barnes silently acknowledged her self-restraint.

"Barton, assign three men to take him to the nearest allied house." He thought for a moment. "Ser Scott of House Lang would be the nearest, no more than half an hour's ride, and request they imprison Walker there until our return. They can catch up to us later."

Three men were chosen and tethered Walker's horse to theirs, further adding to his humiliation. As for us, we turned to follow the road, intent on reaching the others as quickly as possible. We rode with haste but did not push the horses too hard. Another discarded wagon was passed, along with several disgruntled servants who were left behind. With their years of service to the House of Pierce no longer valued enough to continue with him, they had no loyalty left to his house. They confirmed after a brief conversation that the main host was less than half an hour ahead of us and headed to Sag Harbor where several ships from his overseas allies waited to transport him to safety.

James' force picked up the pace and we passed several other abandoned wagons with servants seated despondently around them. My husband's face grew darker with each encounter, as it signified a total abandonment of the responsibilities of Lord Pierce. As a nobleman, elevated to his position in service of the king, he would have promised in front of witnesses, to be the head not just of his house, but to bear an obligation to the wellbeing of every farm worker, servant, soldier, and tradesperson who lived on his lands. It was obvious he felt no such obligation to them at all, as shown by the ones he left behind on his lands, and the ones he abandoned on the way. His very actions, from the first attack on my family, the more recent attack on the king, to the invasion of the church, my kidnapping, and now this sorry spectacle revealed him to be a man completely devoid of honour.

"My Lord, a rider approaches," said Barton and we paused, awaiting the arrival of one of the scouts.

He saluted James and Barton. "Lord Pierce's force is but minutes away. He is aware of your position and has ordered his men to attack you from several locations. Rumlow's men have taken a side route, but my partner believes he plans to double back and flank you from this direction."

"Why does he believe that?" Barton posed the question. "Is it possible Rumlow goes on to secure the harbour for their departure?"

The man grinned. "Nay, the tide isn't favourable for a departure. It will be morning before they can leave. His wife and daughter have been sent on with his younger son and two men to get them out of the field of battle, but they are the only ones who departed separately in the direction of the port."

James turned to Barton. "Prepare the men for battle."

His eyes met mine with a mixture of regret and determination. Dismounting, he handed his reins to Barton, pulled a package out of his saddlebag then came to me, helping me slide off the horse. Taking me aside, he touched the side of my face, then smoothed my hair which had become unruly from all that I had been subjected to since the abduction.

"You wish me to stay here," I said, anticipating his words. "I am able to fight as well as any man. I am not afraid."

"I know," he replied, smiling fondly at me, then he placed his hand on my front just below the waist. "But if you are truly with child then you carry the future of not just my house, but the House of Rogers within you. Please, stay as far away from the battle as you can. If I fall, Barton or his designate will come for you and take you to the House of Lang. Ser Scott will make sure you return safely to the Citadel."

His attention was diverted by the sounds of swords being unsheathed and bows being strung. He placed the package in my hand.

"I took the liberty of picking this up from your bedchambers. It is the blue dress you wore when I first met you in the library. That is when I first felt the stirrings of love as you declared your wish for sovereignty in a marriage. If I do not return from this battle, you will be the head of the House of Barnes. My last will and testament declares that you are to be regarded as a woman independent of the power of a husband, father, brother, or uncle."

"I would rather have you with me," I answered, touched as I was by his gesture. "I never knew love until I knew you."

"My flame," he whispered, before kissing me tenderly. "My love for you will burn within me forever.”

His eyes were glassy, as were mine, then he strode back to his horse and mounted it, leaving me, Lady Natasha, and Father Bruce, who was given the task of staying with us. The order to proceed was given, and the entire force rode out. I returned to my horse, placed the package in the saddlebag and mounted. Then we found a path into an area where we could see the road but were well hidden from view and began our wait.

Lord Barnes

As we rode into what was certain to be an ambush, I prayed for the safety of Arden first and foremost. Although I desperately wanted to return to her side, I also knew that the years I wasted drinking, carousing, and whoring had made it likely that payment was due for those sins. No quarter would be given to me by Pierce or Rumlow as I felt sure I would face one or both men at some point in the battle to come. Then again, I fully intended to give them no quarter either, although they would be given the opportunity to die as men. Walker was allowed to live after his capture because he was too shallow a man to contribute to the devious plan that Pierce had spent years developing. Rumlow, his own ambitions spurring him, had also personally performed many of the atrocities committed by their men. They were the two architects of their own demise, and I had no intention of allowing either man to live.

An arrow whizzed by my head just moments after this thought and I looked up in time to see one of my bowmen take the man out. As other men on horseback streamed out of their hiding places I used my sword, furiously swinging and hacking at anyone who came within my reach. My horse, Soldier, was magnificent, as if he knew exactly what was expected of him, as he sidestepped, reared, or backed up whenever the need was there. A young man, who I recognized as William Pierce, the eldest son, approached me with raised sword and we fought on horseback for some time. He was good at it. I will give him that, but he wasn't committed to the task, not in the way he should have been. At some point our swords were pressed against each other and we struck each other with our gloved fists about the head and shoulders.

"Your father has betrayed you," I uttered to him. "You have no lands to return to but if you give up now, I will allow you to join your mother, sister, and brother in exile."

I received two more sharp blows to my head as an answer, threatening to stun me. Sliding my hand to my boot I slid out my dagger and plunged it into his side, his cry of pain heard loudly. When I withdrew the dagger the blood that came out was dark and ominous in its volume. His free hand went from pummelling me to attempting to staunch the life force that was pouring out of him. As our horses separated, he looked at me with fear, then hunched over and fell from his horse.

"Barnes!" I turned to see Pierce almost upon me with a furious look upon his face. He glanced at his son, realizing that his heir was gone. "You have killed my son!"

"You were warned it would come to this," I said. "I gave him the chance to withdraw but he would not. His death is on you and your actions."

"Damn you!"

He swung his sword at me, surprising me with the strength behind it. If his son had fought with as much purpose, he would have still been alive, but now my own life was in peril at the hands of this man, who I had once called friend. His own horse, well tested in battle, seemed to be using his own tactics against Soldier, attempting to make him stumble so that I would fall. Afraid for his safety I launched myself at Pierce, tackling him from his saddle so we both fell heavily to the ground. Winded for a moment, we both hesitated before grasping our swords again and began fighting against each other as the battle raged around us. We traded blow for blow and once again I wondered how a man his age had the stamina to fight me, for he was at least 25 or 30 years older than me and fully clothed in chain mail. Then an errant arrow grazed his leg as his sword was raised to strike and he stumbled. I hit his hand with the flat side of my blade hard enough for him to drop his own sword then kicked him backwards onto his back, with the tip of my sword at his throat.

"Yield," I ordered. "Surrender and your men can go into exile with your wife, daughter, and younger son."

"Never," he gasped. "Just end it. I would if you were in my place."

As much as I wanted him dead, I didn't want to do it this way, with him at my total mercy. So, I stepped back and pushed his sword over to him with my foot.

"Pick it up. Die as a soldier."

Breathing heavily, he sat up, grasped the grip of his weapon, and wearily pulled himself up. Then the sounds of an arriving force reached our ears, and he looked at me with a knowing smile.

"Your mercy will be your undoing. That is Rumlow and he has flanked your force. Perhaps, I'll have him finish you off. He has wanted your head for a long time."

I looked past him and saw it was Rumlow, except he was tied to his saddle and his horse tethered to two soldiers wearing the insignia of the House Lang. The force who had him was led by Ser Scott. He rode towards me, keeping well away from Lord Pierce's reach.

"Lord Barnes, I am sorely vexed that you didn't call for my help sooner," he said. "I would have gladly accompanied you to arrest these two. When your men arrived with Walker, I summoned most of my men at once, hoping we wouldn't miss the encounter." He looked around to where his men now encircled the entire scene of the battle. "Lord Pierce, I would suggest that you surrender."

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Arden, Lady Natasha and Father Bruce arrive.

"No surrender," shouted Lady Natasha, dismounting. "He doesn't deserve to live!"

Pierce rolled his eyes as she approached. "What did I ever do to you, girl? I gave you a place in my household, food to eat, a place to sleep, and protection. Then you betrayed me by helping Lady Arden escape."

She strode to him, her face resolute. "You really don't remember, do you? My father was Ser Ivan, of the House Romanoff. Eight years ago, you attacked the estate on Lord Dreykov's word that I was the lost heir of Arthur and Guinevere. I was 14 years old, and I only survived because the son of the garrison commander spirited me away."

"So, I was wrong," muttered Pierce, dismissively. "You were of no consequence to me as I learned when Dreykov asked if I killed his nephew like he intended when he gave me that information, knowing of my search for the heir."

"I was of no consequence? My parents and sister slaughtered like cattle because Dreykov lied to you? Then you killed Riley, my one and only love. Well, you might as well kill me, then. Finish what you started."

"Lady Natasha, no, don't put yourself in jeopardy for him," I interrupted. "He's not worth it."

"No, but my family are," she declared, turning to look at me.

At that moment, Pierce raised his sword to strike her down, but she moved so quickly that his sword fell on air as her hand thrust a dagger into his throat. He dropped his sword, looked at her, then at the dagger before he uttered his last word.

"How?"

"Seven years spent learning the arts of subterfuge under the tutelage of a woman master of the discipline. Another woman you wronged when you killed those who were precious to her." She looked at Arden. "Are you satisfied, my Lady?"

Arden nodded, then looked at me with questions in her eyes, questions that I knew she needed answers to. Pierce fell over, dead, his eyes still open. Lady Natasha spat on him, then approached me.

"His death was always my intention," she said. She looked at a ring on her ring finger. "I leave now to seek out a convent. Your wife is a brave and capable woman. She told me of how you promised her sovereignty in your marriage. Honour that promise, My Lord. I know that Riley held you in the highest regard, as do I."

I bowed my head towards her, respecting her right to justice and her right to determine her own path. She stopped beside Father Bruce's horse and waited while he prayed for her, then made the sign of the cross. Continuing towards her horse, she mounted it, then looked once more at me before riding back in the direction we came from.

Many of Pierce and Rumlow's men were dead, and the sell swords escaped when they could, seeing the writing on the wall. Remembering what many of them looked like, I knew we would be able to hunt them down at our own pace. As for the remainder of their men they were herded together in front of me. I mounted my horse so all could hear my words.

"You have a choice," I said. "We can take you into custody and offer you to the magistrates for justice or you can choose exile to Brittania. If you ever attempt to return you will be considered criminals and hunted down, then dealt with on the spot. How say you? Arrest?" None raised their hands. "Exile?" They all raised their hands. "So be it. Barton, please assemble a force to escort these men to the coast. Ser Samuel, I trust you to deliver the news to Lady Pierce and her family of the death of Lord Pierce and his eldest son. Advise her that exile is her only course and that a return will never be possible for any of them."

Before they left Ser Scott invited us all to rest at his estate for as long as we needed. It had been a long journey in a short time, and I knew that Arden needed rest and nourishment. I also wanted the chance to speak with her in private about her true heritage, not to mention have time alone with my wife. His offer was accepted, and we rode the short distance to his home. His garrison made room for my combined force, while Ser Brock was escorted to a cell in the foundations of the castle, where John Walker already was. The rest of us were assigned to guest chambers and I requested a bath be prepared for both of us. As soon as I closed the door and bolted it, Arden wrapped her arms around my neck, and we kissed deeply until I gently pried her arms away.

"We must speak frankly," I insisted. "I tried to tell you in the church, but Lord Pierce was not in a mood to give me more time."

She looked down at her hands then took mine and pulled me over to a padded bench. Before we sat, I unbuckled my scabbard and removed my chain mail, eager to remove the weight I had carried for several days. She sat demurely, which drew a smile from me, as it was not a true representation of her fiery nature.

"You heard what Lady Natasha said about the attack on her family and why it was perpetrated against them," I said. "She is but a year older than you and like you, one of a few noble women who have the same hair colouring. Like you, she was known for her fiery temper and her mother was a foster sister of your mother, a fact that Lord Dreykov used to convince Lord Pierce of her heritage."

I took her hand in my own, and touched her mother's wedding ring. Then I told her how the true history of King Arthur and Queen Guinevere was kept secret, shared only when needed between trusted individuals. She was a descendant of the daughter of those mythical individuals, who was raised by her godparents after her birth in the convent where Guinevere remained. On their daughter's marriage, a love match, she was told the truth, and she wore her mother's wedding ring. It had been passed from mother to daughter over the many years since, as the bloodline delivered only girl children, no boys by means that were unknown.

"I'm a descendant," stated Arden, accepting the truth. "Why was I not told sooner?"

"You would have known if the marriage negotiations had progressed normally, but Lord Pierce found out your identity and made his move, several times. Ser Anthony tried to protect you and even though we were betrothed from the time you were a babe in your mother's arms, he didn't trust me for some time, especially when Pierce befriended me. That in itself showed Pierce to be false as he only befriended me to weaken me in an attempt to take my lands after my father's death."

"You said on our wedding night that our child would secure your House. If it is a girl, how can that be possible according to the laws of our realm?"

I smiled. "Because she will marry the son of Steven and his wife Margaret. It had been foretold already that our daughter would wed the son of the heir to the throne. When Steven's father and brother were killed, he became the heir. The bloodline of Arthur and Guinevere was passed through daughters, keeping it hidden until the time was right. The legend stated there was never to be a son, at least not until a daughter married into a royal house, which our daughter will. I am not a man who needs a son to validate my existence as I see no difference in the value of a man versus the value of a woman. Our daughters and granddaughters will always be House Barnes. When the Duke becomes King, he will begin to change our realm so that women are no longer property, and that marriage is no longer a transaction to cement treaties or alliances. His son, as King and our daughter, as his Queen, will continue the process of strengthening the position of women in this kingdom, using the bloodline of Arthur and Guinevere to make it happen. Their son, our grandson, will continue as will generations of sons and daughters after, but it will come to pass."

She smiled then, and squeezed my hand which still held hers. Then she stood and turned her back to me.

"Undo my laces," she said. "I wish to bathe." She looked back at me. "You're welcome to join me."

I untied the laces which bound her, gently touching her figure as she dropped the outer portion of the stiff bodice. Her dress was undone, and she slipped it from her shoulders, revealing the silk chemise she wore underneath. Grasping her shoulders I lowered my lips to her fair skin and kissed it. Already, I could feel my manhood harden at the softness of her body in my hands. She sat, to remove her boots then her stockings, but I kneeled before her and reached for the ribbons that held her stockings in place, undoing them with a single pull. Rolling them off, I kissed along the inside of her thighs, then took her feet in my hands while I gently massaged them, watching as she visibly relaxed.

As she undid the ties of my tunic, opening it to my bare chest, she leaned forward, kissing the spot where it joined with my neck, before nuzzling up further towards my ear. Her soft breath went straight to my cock, stiffening it so much that it pressed on my braies, making them uncomfortable. Removing my tunic with her help, I removed my boots, then my hose and peeled them off so that I was only wearing my linen braies, which were straining under the fullness of my loins.

"You must miss me," she said, gently playing with the tie that would release that garment from constraining my desire for her.

"Seems like forever," I answered, noticing how the curves of her body were pressing against the chemise she wore. "Can we take this off?"

I undid the front tie of her chemise, opening it to reveal the sight of her breasts, burying my face in them. Her garment fell further down her arms, as I touched and tasted her soft skin. Grasping my hair with her hands, she twisted it in her fingers as she directed me down her body towards her womanhood. Smiling at her efforts I placed my hands on her rounded bottom cheeks, kneading them as I used my body to spread her legs apart. She raised herself so I could slip the chemise off entirely then I buried my face in her sex, taking in that which I had sorely missed in the last few days. With her legs resting on my shoulders and her own hands on her breasts, I was spurred on to make her come in a joyous fashion. When she did, with many cries of ecstasy as the pulses flowed through her, I almost came myself. But that would have been a waste of my seed. Pulling her forward so she had to wrap her legs around my waist I lifted her and carried her to the bed, laying her on it, while I undid the tie of my braies, finally releasing my swollen manhood, almost painful in its need to find its home.

"Do you want me, Arden?" I asked, as I laid between her wet thighs and kissed her neck and shoulders. "Do you want me in you?"

"I want you, James," she gasped.

With her consent I plunged into her, groaning at how well her body accepted mine in our union. Our joining blazed in its intensity as we matched fevered touch with fevered touch, burning kiss with burning kiss, and spoke breathless words of passion between us. During the apex of our bliss our heated skin released the fire that burned within us, making it too warm to burrow into the bedclothes after. Instead, we lay intertwined on top, our nakedness visible in the late afternoon sunlight that still streamed in through the windows. We were physically spent. It was only moments later, in the quiet of our chambers that we heard the sounds of fighting outside our door. Without delay I left Arden on the bed and went for my sword, not even stopping to cover my body. A loud strike destroyed the lock, and the door burst open, revealing Ser Brock armed with a blade and a look of wild fury on his face. He looked from me to Arden and sneered.

"Perfect timing. Once I have dispatched you, I will take my prize."

I was never going to let that happen and I advanced on him, swinging away at all the vulnerable parts of his body, his forearm, legs, and head. Samuel and Ser Scott arrived at the door, taking in the scene of me fighting a battle without armour, without clothes, armed only with a single sword. Yelling at them not to intervene, they watched helplessly as I fended off Rumlow's efforts while Arden covered herself in a sheet and tried to skirt her way around the perimeter of the room towards them. I tried my best to direct him away from her path, then she stopped at her own boot and withdrew a long dagger, sliding it along the floor to me before running for the door and into the security of Ser Samuel's arms. With her safety assured I focused solely on the man in front of me. His scarred face was filled with a hatred that became a madness directed at me. Several times I attempted to get to the dagger on the floor and each time he prevented me from acquiring it. Seeing the package containing Arden's blue dress partially out of the saddle bag I lunged for it, tossing it in Rumlow's face. He swung at it, cutting into the leather but it distracted him long enough for me to pick up the dagger. As he advanced on me, I lured him in closer then swung my sword harder than I had ever done before, staggering him to his knees. With all I had left I thrust the dagger into the side of his neck. His strangled cry was short as he attempted to pull it out and I hacked into the other side of his neck ending his life as he keeled over. Gasping for breath, I stood over him, with my sword in my hand. Then I felt a hand on my shoulder and my tunic being offered to me by Ser Scott.

"He killed the guard in the cell, freed Walker then began fighting his way up here." I slipped the tunic on and faced my host, who answered my unspoken question. "Ser Samuel dispatched that sorry excuse for a man." He looked at the blood that now seeped into the wooden floor. "Come. Bring your lady to another chamber. Servants will bring your possessions. My good wife can lend Lady Barnes some clothes as I can lend you some of mine. These men chose their path, and we all knew it would lead to their deaths."

Truer words were never spoken. We were shown instead to a bathing room, then left to clean ourselves and comfort each other. A maidservant waited for Arden to emerge from the wooden tub, wrapped her in a drying cloth, and in an attached dressing room helped her don a borrowed gown of soft green hues. She gently brushed and arranged Arden's hair. I was assisted in the bathing room by a manservant who brought with him a fine outfit of a brown shade. Thanking him for his assistance, I entered the new bed chamber, where Arden sat before the fire, gazing into the flames. She rose upon my entry and paced towards me. Offering her my hands, she placed hers in them and I raised them to my lips, kissing every fingertip.

"I was afraid," she murmured. "Never have I heard of a man in your position being able to defend himself against such an adversary so well, then being successful in the battle. How did you do it?"

"With your love," I answered. "The moment he threatened you I felt the heat of battle rise within me. Your safety was everything. My love for you is like an eternal flame that burns from within. It can never be extinguished, not even by death."

"Then I burn with you," she replied, "forever and always, my husband, my love, and my protector."

"My wife, my dearest love and the reason for my existence."

We kissed, then I offered Arden my arm, and together we began the openly known portion of our life as Lord and Lady Barnes. Descending down the stairs we were greeted at the bottom by Ser Scott and his Lady Hope, Ser Anthony, Ser Samuel, and Father Bruce. Following our host into the dining hall, we felt comforted by the warmth of their hospitality. Despite the blood that had been shed in his home, Ser Scott was gracious and complementary to us both, a far cry from the behaviour shown to us by those who considered themselves superior to all others. It boded well for the kingdom in the years to come.

Epilogue, as told by Lord Barnes

In the time since the events that led to the deaths of Lord Alexander Pierce, Ser Brock Rumlow and John Walker, much had happened in the kingdom. All three traitors were buried in a potter's field, with no marker of any kind. Pierce's family stayed in Brittania, dependent on the goodwill of friends there. They never attempted a return to our shores. Riley, the soldier from my garrison who died while he defended my wife and Lady Natasha from recapture, was buried in a prominent spot in a churchyard near the estate of Ser Scott Lang. A large stone was erected with his name and the inscription Vixit et mortuus est iuste; Latin for "He lived and died righteously." A nun was spied at the gravesite the day after the stone was erected but she disappeared quickly when the priest called out to her. We never saw nor heard of Lady Natasha Romanoff again.

Our arrival at the Citadel, and subsequent formal marriage in a cathedral ceremony performed by the Bishop, was welcomed by my mother and sister, who loved Arden from the moment she arrived. The sentiment was returned by my wife, who was indeed carrying our child, conceived on our wedding night. Soon after our return to the Citadel she felt the first pangs of the morning sickness. It didn't last for long and she soon resumed her daily ride, often at my side. Her presence in my life was a gift and I vowed never to take her for granted.

A month after our return a rider from Crown Prince Steven announced the birth of his son, James Samuel Joseph. It was a great honor for both Samuel and I to be his namesake godfathers. At his christening, the Bishop looked slightly askance at the Moor who arrived at the cathedral for the Christian ceremony, and solemnly promised to make sure that the child walked the straight and narrow path. Father Bruce vouched for his character as a good man and the Bishop took the priest at his word. The friendship between the two was strong and they spent much time together speaking of many things for Father Bruce was a very learned man, even before he became a priest. When Samuel fell in love with a noble born woman he requested that Father Bruce and I act as his negotiators for her hand. Their marriage was performed by Father Bruce who learned an Arabic blessing, May Allah bless you, and shower His blessings upon you, and join you together in goodness, saying it in Samuel's first language at the conclusion of the Christian ceremony. Samuel and Father Bruce became trusted advisors of Steven before and after he ascended to the throne, while I became his Right Hand.

On the day my daughter was born, I was several miles away from the estate, intervening in a dispute between a tradesman and the inn keeper who contracted for the replacement of his privy buildings. As I listened to each man lay out their case a rider from my garrison arrived to tell me that Arden was in labour. With apologies to the two men, I mounted my horse and pressed Soldier to run like the wind. My mother and sister were already with her, as was the midwife. Determined to be there when our child was born, a condition I insisted upon when the midwife was first retained, I entered and was immediately chastened by the scene in front of me. Arden, wearing a short chemise was covered in sweat, her hair hanging heavily over her shoulders. Her glistening cheeks were red from the exertion of childbirth. My mother and sister sat with her, but upon my arrival my sister motioned for me to take her place. After washing my hands, on the order of the midwife, I removed my boots and sat with my wife, holding her right hand as she underwent another round of contractions. The midwife, well versed in her trade, both soothed and encouraged Arden to find more strength to get through the process.

When our red-haired daughter was born, I kissed Arden's head and murmured my love to her, to the surprise of the midwife. Her experience with most nobility had always been that they expected a boy child, but my elation at the birth of our daughter was unexpected. After cleaning the babe and wrapping her in swaddling cloths, she was laid in Arden's arms and immediately began looking to suckle at her breast. Although most women of nobility chose to have a wet nurse, Arden was emphatic that she wished to feed our child herself and I was inclined to support her. As my mother and sister watched Arden, I announced our daughter's name as Ember Lark, for the colour of her hair and for the bird that sings when the morning sun's rays break over the horizon. It was an unusual name, but it felt right to us. Briefly, I left to send a rider to Steven, informing him of my daughter's birth. When the time was right, we would formalize her betrothal to Steven's son, but it would always be her choice to proceed with it, just as Arden was given the choice to proceed with our marriage, and the Duchess Margaret was given the choice to proceed with her marriage to Steven. At the least, she would grow up with the young prince and know him well by the time they were old enough to marry.

When I first saw Arden, in her uncle's library, I was taken by the colour of her hair, and her forthrightness. She was an unusual woman for our times, different from many of the women suggested as a suitable consort. I thought that a flame burned from within her, that illuminated her in ways that made other women seem dim by comparison. In reality, she ignited the flame within me. Although I had left behind many of the hedonistic habits of my youth, I was still consumed with the need to satisfy my physical desires for female company by employing the skills of courtesans. Trained in the arts of seduction and pleasure for the use of men of my status I was satisfied with their attention and skills in the bedchamber, until I met Arden. Once that encounter happened, everything within me burned for her, only for her. There was no judgment on those other women, for they did serve a need, but with Arden I finally found what I really wanted all along; a companion for my heart, mind, body, and soul. Until the end of our time together on this earthly plane, she will be the flame of my heart, burning eternally for her.

The End

Short Fiction Masterlist

Please support the author by comments or reblogging.

[claireelle18]

Let Me - Vince Dunn

Thank you for all the love on my Gem post! Another idea came to me for him…I hope you enjoy this one just as much!

It wasn’t a purposeful keeping the marriage unknown. All records are open to the public. She had her last name changed as well. Neither her nor Vince just announced the marriage. It was only three weeks since eloping. A beautiful day, some stunning scenery out in Toronto. Just the two of them, their photographer, and the officiant. The ring glittering under the arena lights. She was surprised she still showed up to the arena that night after the wicked nasty fight that occurred right before he was supposed to be at the arena for pregame. She had asked him about just continuing to keep their new status a little more private, but he said he was wanting to tell the guys on the team before playoffs started. They all knew her, but no one knew of the change in status for the couple. That was the reason they fought this afternoon.

She groaned, “Vince, did you even think about that this could take away the focus on the playoff games?”

He scoffed. “No, I figured it would let them know another reason why I am so determined to bring home the Stanley Cup.”

If she was being honest, she was more worried about him being spotted with his ring on and fans speculating. Most fans were so sweet to her, but she did get the rude remarks and glares. He had always told her it didn’t matter what they said because he was her’s, but she still struggled dealing with that while he was on the ice. “Think about it Vin! People catch you with the ring and they will want to know so much more about that than how the game goes!”

“It’s been a few weeks already and no one has caught on! I think we will be fine!”

“I’m not sure if I’m ready to let more people know about our marriage! Do you not respect that wish of mine?” Some of the girls had not been very kind in the past to her after Vince once slipped up about their relationship. Vile to her about how she loved him for his money. Vile with comments about how he liked to flirt with other girls and cheat on her.

“What do you mean? Of course I do! No one will catch the fact I wear a ring.” He looks at the clock. “I better go before I am late. Will I see you there?” He asks, looking at her. He can see the tears rimming her eyes, threatening to pour down her face. It doesn’t sit well with him that they just fought before the playoff game, darkening his already anxious mood.

Game time rolls around, and every little chance he has to berate the opposing team’s players, he does. Before long, he keeps landing himself in the penalty box, every chance he gets too. His mind clouded with how she looked before her left for the arena. How she looked a little cracked, how she seemed so small for herself. After this next round in the penalty box, she hears the announcers comment. “I don’t know what is up with Vince Dunn tonight, but for someone who’s loud through the regular season, he sure has it out tonight to be in that penalty box more than on the ice.”

“You’re right there. If I didn’t know better, I may say that coach will be looking to remove him for the playoff roster.” Her heart plummeted into her feet. Removing him from the playoff roster? He played such an intricate part of the core defense that removing him could be an awful outcome. She yanked her phone out, dialing that contact she’s never used before. “Who is this?” The man’s voice questioned across the line. She explained to him that she just needs to see Vince immediately. “I’m sorry but this isn’t a way to see him. You have a better chance at going to the games or one of their open practices.”

“I’m not a fan. I need to see Vince Dunn now. You have to get me down to the locker room before the start of the next period.”

He laughed. “Why would I get you in to see him?” “Because I’m his wife.” She identified herself to him.

Commotion happening across the phone line. “Meet me next to the shop. I’ll see you in three minutes.”

She followed the man down the back halls to get towards the locker room. The sound spilling out of the locker room could be heard down the hallway. His manager talking with the defense coach. Coach motioned some number at her, she could care less how much time, she just needed the time, then let her slip past into the room. A defeated Vince sat in his gear cubby, eyes casted towards the floor. “You’re going to burn a hole into the floor, mister,” she teased as she crouched down in from of him. The whispers could be heard of ‘why is she down here’ and a few ‘who is she’ sprinkled in.

She knelt between his knees, putting her hand on his cheek. “Vin…Vin…Vince…,” she cooed. He broke out of his trance. “Breathe babe. It will be okay. You know fights happen, but do not get your ass kicked off this roster. Do not throw this chance for a second Cup for you out because you’re upset.” He melted into her her hand, taking a few breaths. “I’m sorry we fought. I just felt caught off guard. I get where you came from, wanting to share the news with the team.”

“Time is up Mrs. Dunn,” Coach called out. She went to stand, and Vince pulled her into a quick kiss. The room cheered, noise dying down as they made their way back to the bench.

After the game, she was brought back into the locker room to announce their marriage officially to the team, together.

[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

I've just been thinking about Aemond's brothel visits, and couldn't help but wish we had scenes of the immediate aftermath reactions to lukes death, like what was it exactly that led him to go back to the brothel, how many times does he go there, and as he uses it as comfort given everything that happened since with regards to Rooks Rest how doesn't he need that comfort anymore? if that makes sense..

I just wish we had more context surrounding the visits themselves and the wider reactions to luke and jaehaerys as it feels lost in translation now..

Unfortunately, a lot of it has been left up to viewer interpretation, which seems a shame to me as it does a disservice to the story and characters. The average person has incredibly poor media literacy and most mainstream viewers will not have read Fire and Blood, so will take what they see at face value without questioning it. On the surface of it, Aemond is a villain, that covets his brother’s throne and thinks of little else beyond his own ambition.

I don’t feel this is true though.

Personally, I don’t think Aemond’s visits to the brothel started after the death of Luke. It seems an odd character choice for him to think “I’ve killed my nephew, I’d better go to the brothel about it”. Aemond puts a lot of pressure on himself to be the better son, to act as a pillar of support for his mother, to uphold tradition and honour. That’s a lot for him to have placed upon his shoulders. He has to be strong because the rest of his family cannot be.

I think he has always gone to Sylvi, because she is an outlet for the mask to come off and for him to be comforted and vulnerable, to lean on someone instead of being leant upon himself.

I think that when Aemond took Criston to the pleasure house back in season one, it’s not because he thought Aegon was there, but because he goes there himself and knows the people inside will have an idea of where his brother is and what he’s up to. Aemond’s embarrassment to me now comes across as concern that Criston will catch on to the fact that he’s a regular visitor. Sylvi’s reaction to him seems like an acted attempt to cover for him, and almost like she is teasing him for it. The way they interact in the brothel scenes in season two is far too relaxed and comfortable to be a product of something that’s only been going on for ten days.

With regard to Aemond’s reaction (or lack thereof) to Jaehaerys’s death, Aemond goes to Sylvi when he needs comfort. The fact that he seeks her out again, despite already having been there the previous night, is indicative of his grief. He is likely feeling guilty and upset, and so goes to her to deal with that. Him saying “I do regret that business with Luke. I lost my temper that day, I am sorry for it” is in itself an admission of the fact that he is aware that Jaehaerys’s death is a direct result of him killing Luke.

When Aegon burst in on Aemond and Sylvi, the way he makes fun of him is so casual it makes me think he is likely aware of the fact that Aemond does this, it’s just the first time he’s caught him in the act. Now that Aemond’s secret is discovered, it kills his desire to return, and without that outlet he becomes more angry, more unruly and his behaviour worsens.

There is a quote from Frankenstein, which I think sums up Aemond perfectly: "I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other".

Those are just my two cents anyway!

[fandomfaeofveryfewf4cks]

Spoilers for Our Flag Means Death finale.

I just needed to talk things through as a crew.

So, I already posted something about how I felt about Izzy's death immediately after watching the finale. Now that I've given myself more time to mull it over though, I'm not quite as satisfied with the ending as I thought. But I think I know why I'm not exactly angry about it either.

I think I just see it as an open ending for next season? Like, I can see how Izzy's death brings parts of the story around full circle. (Mainly in Ed growing out of being Blackbeard who wasn't really Blackbeard without Izzy Hands.) However, after thinking about it some and reading some other people's thoughts about it, it doesn't really work for bringing Izzy's story around full circle, does it? No, really, does it? I'm still not entirely sure.

On the one hand, I've seen people talk about how Izzy represents piracy and piracy is coming to an end, so it makes sense for him to die with piracy. With his talk with Ricky about how they may die, but they'll live on in other ways, it makes sense.

On another hand, I also see people talking about the fact that Izzy survived a suicide attempt (potentially for the reason of protecting the crew) only to end the season saying he wants to die...

This choice just makes me a bit queasy because it invalidates some of the hope I've had building up with every episode I watched, especially in season 2, where Izzy goes through the bulk of what I feel is (at least mostly) such an amazing character arc.

On a third hand, I saw someone saying that Izzy should captain the Revenge while Stede and Ed go off to run their inn. I had thought this was going to happen too until I started seeing the foreshadowing for Izzy's death and started doubting that theory.

Part of the reason this makes so much sense is because, firstly, Izzy runs the ship already. Plus, he's changed his priorities to be about the crew.

Remember in season 1 episode 9, when the crew is planning to mutiny against Izzy and are trying to decide who should be captain next. And Oluwande says,

"It's gotta be someone we can all trust. Someone who's got the whole crew in mind. Not just themselves."

Izzy didn't make a good captain in that episode because he still didn't trust them, they didn't trust him, and he was doing everything for himself.

In season 2, none of that is true anymore.

The crew DOES trust him. He DOES think about the crew first and foremost. And, we even get to see him learn to trust the crew as well. Learn that they see him as not just a part of the crew they have to deal with like in most of season 1, but a crucial part of the crew and a person they all care about.

In short, it really would have made so much sense to make him Captain.

"Okay, but why do you think his death is an open ending? Death is typically a decidedly very closed off ending."

Ah, I see the point I keep losing is back.

How many times has someone been "dead" only to come back later. How many times has IZZY "died" to come back later. Granted, Izzy going through this multiple times is part of what foreshadows the idea that he's going to not come back this time, so it's possibly just false hope to think he'll come back (assuming we get a third season).

But think about it. Izzy has died. Stede gave up his pirating dream, which seems how likely to stick? And Ed thinks he's going to be able to work a customer service job? And both Stede and Ed think they'll be good at running a business they don't know jackshit about? Ed has proved to be lousy at working a "simple" life. Ed's subconscious said so. Pop-pop said so. Even Jackie sees this as a "wish I was a regular dude phase." Also, Stede has proved that he can be a decent pirate. Zheng said so. Spanish Jackie said so. The entire Republic of Pirates said so. The Pirate Queen said so.

I guess I just have a hard time believing the creators of ofmd couldn't bring Izzy back somehow and turn out a new plot for another season if they wanted to.

At the end of season one, Ed and Stede resign themselves to a future that is not ideal for them and Lucius "dies."

At the end of season 2, Ed and Stede decide to try for a future that is arguably also not ideal for them (it's just less angsty than season 1) and Izzy "dies."

I dunno. I guess what I'm saying is, it makes enough sense for an ending, but not this story's ending. And this show actually managed to make me feel things in my mucky rustbucket of a heart and gave me hope like not many things do. I'm just not ready to give up on it yet.

. . . . .

Maybe they didn't want to make Izzy captain because then if/when Stede and/or Ed come back wanting to be Captain, they'd have to decide how to make that work? But that wouldn't be too hard to figure out, right? I mean, they already decided a ship can have two captains. Why not 3?

Here's some of those posts I was talking about:

[redbullcateringfiction]

Chapter 5 -

Cantata

Arabella is the executive assistant for Mercedes Team Principal Toto Wolff. 10 years into her career, it looks like the tide is changing, and she's beginning to question her relationship with him. Is it something more, or nothing but an idea lingering in her head?

F/M, Fluff, Boss/Employee Relationship, Romance, Pining, Love, Slow Burn

Fifth chapter below the cut or click here for AO3

Click here for the previous chapter on Tumblr, and click here for a list of all chapters

(Total: 21735 words thus far)

Oh? The right time to use a lawyer? You little shit. I immediately went to block his number, but paused. God, maybe he was onto something. He’s right. I can’t talk about my life with anyone, and…would this contract guarantee that he couldn’t say anything? I need a lawyer to read over this contract with a lawyer. I stared at the screen without really doing anything. I felt a sudden tap on my shoulder, I looked over and saw a line of 10 or so engineers. “How’s it going, ATM?” James asked. As one of the trackside engineers, he had been one of those who gifted me the greatest gift any paddock regular can receive: A nickname. 

I suppose Toto and Bono had it easy since it really was just what they had always been called. It was, afterall, really just their names. My nickname was far less affectionate. Both representative of the way the engineers would jokingly ask me to sign off on the paychecks, since they believed I held so much power at Brackley I could do so, and of the way I was also notorious for standing right behind Toto ready to shuffle him off to his next engagement. ATM stood for “Assigned Toto Micromanager.” It did, however, make it impossible to tell over text if they were asking “at the moment” or simply calling me by name. ‘Bono is on the pit wall ATM.’ As in right now or are we just mocking me? Fuck. 

“Good, good. Let’s get the party started,” I smiled. One after another, they filtered through. Of course, at least one of them had forgotten some silly thing they couldn’t bring through customs, turning them into an international smuggler, and I into the negotiator. In many ways, this could easily be one of the silliest parts of my job. Kindly asking a customs agent to overlook the Schumacher memorabilia that brightly displayed “Marlboro” and thus consisted of cigarette advertisements was certainly not in the job description. 

“Now, why would you wear that shirt?” I asked as the offending engineer finally passed through customs.

“I didn’t know it would be a problem!” She answered, throwing up her hands.

“Well, now you do,” I replied, rolling my eyes. She looked tempted to throw me the bird. “Just throw on a sweatshirt.”

“Fine, fine,” She sighed, reaching into her bag and pulling out a sweater.

I put in my ear buds as the line finally came to a close, and I began to walk to the car. I quickly found my playlist. Unlike my father, I was not a fan of Bach, Mozart, or Schubert. Rather Ellington, Corea, and Monk graced my ears. It had pissed off my ex-boyfriend enough that he wrote a song about it. I wish though that listening to that song gave me the giggles rather than could send me into tears. Unfortunately, the song refused to leave me alone. It followed me into stores. It followed me into the paddock. It followed me into every single rewind playlist Spotify gives me every single year. No one allows me to forget that damn song. 

I ran to the car and climbed in, managing to wave down the driver. “Arabella Lazaar, right? Four seasons?” He asked. 

“Yes, yes. Thank you so much,” I answered. I quickly dialed down Toto.

“Hello?” He answered.

“I’m on my way. We have to remind the engineers about clothing requirements at customs again,” I sighed.

“Who was the offender this time?” He laughed.

“Sarah with a Schumacher Senior shirt,” I explained.

“What could be the problem-”

“Marlboro,” I interrupted.

“Ah. Got it. Well, send out the email tonight. Should I meet you in the lobby? I have you checked in already.”

“Already? Sure. I’ll be there in half an hour. Looks like traffic is a mess since everyone’s coming in for testing.”

“Not too bad, Ms. Lazaar. I can make it happen in twenty.”

“Then twenty! He says we can make it in twenty,” I explained to Toto. 

“Then twenty, I’ll see you here in twenty.” I could practically hear him smiling through the phone. “See you soon.”

“See you,” I answered. “Thank you so much.”

“No problem,” The driver answered. 

~

Cathal Lynch’s girlfriend accidentally revealed through new song

Cathal Lynch, lead singer of Irish pop-rock band Four Odd Bottles, has long kept his love life private. For the past 3 years he has referenced his girlfriend at shows and in interviews, but has never revealed her identity. Fan theories have suggested supermodels, ex-classmates, and that perhaps, she doesn’t even actually exist! However, the release of the band's newest song - 4th From the Gate - accidentally revealed her identity. 

Simple references such as “racing stars,” and “dry tires on a wet pavement,” implied to listeners that Lynch may be dating a member of the Formula 1 community. Fans further found that Cathal’s posts on Instagram seemed to be located near or close to locations where Formula 1 races had taken place. None of this directly pointed to the woman who inspires Cathal’s boisterous love songs. However, several final details collided in the perfect storm to reveal her identity.

At the recent Formula 1 Japanese Grand Prix, Lynch took a picture with now 6-time world champion  Lewis Hamilton. This picture, taken from within the garage, told many fans that Cathal Lynch was either a big fan of Mercedes-Petronas, or with the recent song, his girlfriend works for Mercedes. Fans recalled that earlier songs had referenced Cathal Lynch’s girlfriend’s long curly hair, her tanned skin, and even that she may be Dutch. In the background of this picture was Arabella Lazaar - Curly haired, medium skinned, Dutch executive assistant to Mercedes team principal Toto Wolff. 

This afternoon, Cathal Lynch half-confirmed this was a simple Instagram story that showed a long curly hair on his pillow captioned “Always leaving pieces of herself with me. Even the ones she knows I hate.” To many fans, this was all they needed to immediately determine Arabella Lazaar was the woman inspiring Cathal Lynch’s music for the past 3 years. 

Four Odd Bottle’s did not respond to our request for comment.

~

We arrived at the hotel after 10 minutes, on the dot. I thanked the driver and was sure to grab my bags that I had placed in the trunk. As soon as I walked in, Toto was practically waiting by the door. 

“Arabella, haven’t seen you in a while,” He joked. 

“Oh, those two hours must’ve been so tortuous for you,” I spoke, immediately catching myself on the basis it may have sounded just a little bit flirty. Toto didn’t seem to notice though and laughed. 

“You just know they were. Every single minute, I was thinking, oh, how will I know what I am going to do in the next 5 minutes? Oh right, she sent an email, and I am to do absolutely nothing until she tells me what to do.”

“I’m not that bad,” I defended myself.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” He smirked. “Let me take your bags.”

We started walking towards the elevator and he lead me to my room. “I’m right next door, so you can bother me first thing in the morning.”

“And you know I will,” I smiled, taking the key from his hand. “Has someone already checked over your room?”

“I did. I know how to look over my own room.”

“Surprising,” I sassed. I walked in and immediately went to shut the door, but toto caught it with his foot.

“Uh, sorry. Do you mind if I was to finish our earlier conversation?” He asked, sweetly offering me a smile. 

“Oh. Sure. It had already slipped my mind,” I poorly lied. It had stuck in my brain like a leech. “Did you want to step in?” Fuck, why did I say that?

“Sure, sure,” He answered, closing the door behind him. “I just wanted to apologize for interrupting your date last night. I had a few too many drinks at the event, and saw you…and I’m not sure. Something just came over me. And suddenly I recalled you heading up to the room, and I figured, why not just ask? It just wasn’t appropriate and I wanted to apologize.”

“Oh…um…no worries! It wasn’t a date,” I quickly deflected. Why did I say that? Why not just accept the apology? Klootzak. 

“It wasn’t?” Toto asked, seemingly just as surprised at my statement as me. “Oh, well good, I suppose. Not good. Just…yes, okay.”

“Yeah, I was just uh…meeting with my lawyer.”

“Your lawyer ?”

Yes, of course. That was somehow better. I’m planning on suing you, Toto Wolff.

“Just uh…with contract renewal coming up soon. He’s been my lawyer since the incident with Cathal,” I mumbled. I’m very bad at lying. “Just good to have someone on my side.”

“Oh, of course. Well, then, I’m deeply sorry for implying that you were on a date by asking if he was your boyfriend from the Christmas party,” Toto answered.

“Mauricio? No, uh, we split up shortly after that.” Please stop talking, Arabella. Why can’t I just shut up sometimes?

“That's right. Mauricio. I’m sorry about that, though.” Okay, Arabella, take a breath and think for a moment about how you’ll respond. 

“Ah, we weren’t that serious. I’m not bothered. What’s done is done,” I smiled. I do not have the heart nor emotional capacity to tell Toto that Mauricio and I dated for about 3 weeks and had already broken up when I made him come to the Christmas Party with me. I just didn’t want to look lonely. It was a nice deal though. As a massive fan of Lewis, he didn’t mind getting the opportunity to meet everyone on his team. When my ex-boyfriend and I had been together, I rarely let him come to events with me. Of course, the one time I did, all hell broke loose. That’s why I don’t date celebrities anymore. Unfortunately, it being the one time I brought someone with me to the Christmas Party, it had stuck in everyone’s brains and to this day people ask me if Mauricio and I are still together. 

“Regardless, Arabella. That was my point. I apologize,” He smiled. 

“I understand that, and I accept your apology. It really isn’t anything to apologize for though,” I explained. 

“Okay,” Toto sighed. “Can I make it up to you though?”

"Give me a day off, you mean?” I chuckled. 

“We both know you wouldn't accept that. But we have some free time tonight. In exchange for ruining your last dinner, I propose you at least let me buy you dinner. You don’t have to sit down with me or anything, but I can at least buy it for you.”

“Can I think about it?” I asked.

“Think as long as you’d like,” He conceded, throwing up his hands. “I’ll head out. If you want to take me up on the offer, just shoot me a text.”

I nodded and he left out the door. I immediately crashed onto the bed, holding my face in the pillow. Perhaps Jeffrey was right. I did, in fact, desperately need someone to talk to. I looked at the text message again and tried to use the little bit of legalese I knew to understand it. I’m nowhere near a professional but this seems reasonable enough. No part of me wants to just sign this…but what options do I have? I downloaded it and sat on it for a moment, staring at it. I decided to call Jeffrey himself. I might not know legalese but I can interpret bullshit when I hear it. 

“Oh, Arabella. I didn’t expect this,” Jeffrey answered the phone. 

“I know. But, do me a favor here,” I spluttered. “Just…explain to me what all this means. I think I get the idea, but just walk me through it, and I’ll let you know if I have any questions.”

“That’s not a problem. Go ahead. What’s your first concern?”

“I’m not sure what section 1.3 really means. I think it’s saying that your retainer is typically 50%  of expected hours, but since the expected work hours here are unlimited…then the retainer is $50,000? But also since it’s pro bono, there isn’t a retainer?”

“Basically. Here, let me walk you through it. So you see…”

~

“Cathal, I can’t do this,” I cried, burying my head in my hands. “The calling, the texting, the death threats. It just isn’t ending.” I thought I would puke as my phone just continuously buzzed. 

“I know,” He whimpered through the phone. “I’m really sorry.”

“Why did you post that stupid fucking photo?” I begged. “Everyone knows it's me.”

“How the fuck was I supposed to know that they could figure out your god damn name from a picture that barely had you in the background? How the fuck was I supposed to know that, Belle?”

“I don’t fucking know! God, fuck!” I screamed. I could feel my chest getting tight, and suddenly I felt the need to lower my curtains. I could not look at Brackley right now. Absolutely not. “If anyone, and I mean anyone, finds my fucking address I will fucking kill you.”

“Then I’m dead. Because I already have the fucking team paying off paparazzi after paparazzi. I fucking care about you, Belle. I do. Do not blame me for this level of insanity.”

“People want to kill me because I’m dating you. Even though, to them, I’m the reason for all your music. Yet, they want me dead for it.”

“None of them are real, I assure you, Belle,” He tried to calm me down. “None of them. They always send bullshit like this and they never mean it. It’s just one of those great perks of being famous.”

“I do not want to be famous,” I complained.

“Really? Running around with Formula drivers and working for actors and actresses, and dating a fucking musician? No part of you wants to be famous? It sure as fuck seems like you do.”

“No, I do not, Cathal. It’s my job. It’s my fucking job,” I wept. I could feel my tears staining the pillow beneath me. Every inch was slowly becoming covered with tears. I touched it. I had cried so hard and for so long that the other side of it was becoming damp. I would surely have to throw this pillow out. I would have to carry it to the trash in the kitchen, and then drag the bag out to the trash bin. I would have to take the bin to the curb, and make sure it didn’t block the garage, so I could take my car and drive it to work in the morning. I would have to stay at work trying to avoid thinking about this or risk dropping into a sad mess of tears. I would have to drive back home, and be careful not to hit my garbage can if it had shifted since they picked it up. I would then have to get out of my car and drag the bin back into the garage. I would have to do all of this without running into paparazzi because I doubt Cathal’s team could stop all of them. I would have to do all of this without for a second having a panic attack. I would have to do all of this without letting anyone know just how much it had fucked me up.

That to me was the most important factor. No matter what happened and no matter how bad this made me feel, absolutely no one would know how fucked up this had me. Whatever pictures the paparazzi took of me, I would look fucking good. This could be the worst day of my life but there’s no reason for anyone to know except me and Cathal. I pulled myself together as Cathal ranted about my hypocriticism. 

“You know what, Cathal? You can blame me all you want. You can say I’m the reason why my life was ruined. The truth is though, I know you better than anyone else. I know you better than all your fucking fans do. I know that you left all those bread crumbs on purpose. I know that you wanted them to know who I was because you thought it was so silly that I didn’t want to be known. You thought it was so weird that someone could date a magnificent celebrity like you and not just want to date them for their fame. You thought it was so absurd. Why don’t you go fuck a groupie about it? Why don’t you pass some venereal disease all throughout Europe about it? I don’t care anymore. I did exactly as I was told, Cathal. Go fuck yourself,” I spoke, hanging up. I turned my phone off. If someone needs me, they know how to get a hold of me without calling or texting me. I cleaned my face up, and put on a nice bathrobe. I threw the pillow out in the garbage, and made sure my house was clean. I then opened up the blinds. Sure enough, as soon as I did, I saw a camera flash inside a car that was neatly parked outside my house. 

At least I knew that when that picture hit the tabloids, it would be a good one.

~

“And there we go. Everything explained. What do you think?” Jeffrey asked, sounding like he nearly needed to catch his breath. I yawned deeply, becoming sleepy after Jeffrey had managed to run through the entire contract in excruciating detail without stopping.

“I think you really like being a lawyer,” I yawned again.

“I do, yes,” I could practically hear him beaming through the phone. 

“Yeah, really boring for me, honestly,” I deadpanned. “Anyway, yeah, sounds good. I’ll sign it.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really. And after I sign it, how long until it goes into effect?”

“Instantly.”

“Great.” I instantly signed the paperwork and immediately returned it to him. 

“Thanks. Just got it.”

“Okay. Should I go to dinner with Toto?”

“Oh-we’re starting right away. Jesus Christ, Arabella. I’m not a magic 8 ball,” Jeffrey answered. “I don’t know if you should go to- wait he asked you out?”

“Asked me out is a strong sentiment,” I explained. “I really hope the walls here aren’t thin.”

“Is he right next to you or something?”

“His room is.”

“Oh my God, Arabella. That man wants you so bad.”

“Fucking hell, Jeffrey. I set up the rooms. Do you know who is also right next to him? Bono. Do you know who is also right next to me? Musconi. Because we’re all taking the same fucking car in the morning,” I explained.

“So…you want him so bad?”

“No, fucking hell, Jeffrey. It was just luck of the draw, I guess,” I replied. “All I did was say we should be on the same floor. In case something went wrong with the car.”

“Fine, fine. Whatever you say. So, he asked you for dinner?”

“Technically. He’s making up for interrupting our date…that I told him wasn’t a date.”

“Rude.”

“Rude? You gave me the idea with the whole ‘contract coming up’ bullshit. I just went with it. I didn’t want him to feel quite so crap for putting me in this situation.”

“Oh, situation? I’m a situation now?”

“Yes, Jeffrey. Yes, you are.” I looked out the window and could clearly see the signs of the impending dust storm. My family didn’t visit Morocco frequently when I was a child, but since we usually visited Marrakech in May, they were incredibly frequent. The wind would start blowing over the desert, and soon the sky would turn to a bright orange, the sand devouring us whole, while my father practically slapped us with face coverings to keep each of us from falling into unstoppable coughing fits. In a particularly bad one, I would stumble over my own feet trying to grab my sister’s shoulder, just to know I had someone with me. 

“You know, this is supposed to be a mutually positive experience.  You get to complain about work. I get to complain about work. Pretty good deal, I think,” Jeffrey argued.

“I think it’s closer to blackmail. Besides, you have given me very little advice in this situation.”

“Well, what exactly did he say, Arabella? Can I call you Bella?”

“You cannot. I’m not a crusty white dog,” I sighed. That was my go to line when someone asked if they could call me Bella. I found it made them far less difficult about it. “He just apologized and said he would make it up for me. I could pretty much take him up on dinner or just let him buy my room service basically.”

“Does…does he not already pay for your food when you travel?” Jeffrey asked. 

“Oh fuck you and your cleverness,” I sighed. “So…do you think it was a date then?”

“I promise you, I’m not trying to play therapist with you, but two things. For someone who says that she’s positive her boss isn’t into her, and she’s positive she isn’t into her boss, you’re awfully preoccupied with whether this is a date or not. Second thing, how would I know? Arabella, I barely know you and this guy. I can make assumptions based on my own knowledge about how I think things work but I can’t just come outright and say ‘Yes, for sure’ based on 3 hours of talking and maybe another hour of having sex,” Jeffrey explained. “You would actually have better luck with a magic 8 ball.”

“I’m really not into him. Just…curious,” I confidently spoke. “I’m 32 and lost out on my one realistic chance of marriage a year and a half ago. I get my hopes up at the slightest bit of attention even if I try to pretend I don’t.” As I spoke, the confidence quickly wore off. 

Jeffrey took a deep sigh. “Cathal, right?”

“I thought you were joking about Googling me,” I laughed, trying to soften the fact that my eyes were welling up with tears. I was over my ex. I had been for a long time. Nonetheless, the way he constantly crept up in my life had a strange way of never allowing old wounds to heal properly. We weren’t together for some crazy long period of time, but fame just wasn’t really for me. He just couldn’t understand that. Eventually, he was over it. Eventually, I was over being disrespected. Having your business out there all the time makes it impossible to ignore everything. Him being a musician means I constantly notice the way I don’t think he’s over me though. Releasing two breakup albums is a bit much, don’t you think? I could forgive one, but a second that was clearly still about me? Freaked me out a bit, if I’m honest. 

“I wasn’t. It was the first thing I saw. Your name plastered over all those headlines. Pictures of your house, pictures of you at races, pictures of you at Brackley. Just everywhere,” Jeffrey explained. 

“Most people forgot about it a long time ago. It was a Shakespearean tragedy in 5 acts for pop culture nerds. For everyone else, it really wasn’t anything.” I hate to admit it, but perhaps Cathal was the reason why I hated staying in Brackley so much. The way the discomfort lingered, and the way I swore sometimes I could smell him on my couch. It was stained with him, practically. Every inch was Cathal, Cathal, Cathal. Guitars on the walls, albums on the shelves, and a closet full of outfits he had worn while touring. It took months of vacuuming to stop finding his cat’s hair. 

“Not you though, huh? I can hear it in your voice,” Jeffrey answered.

“In my voice? Are you talking nonsense again?”

“Do you really think I’m not at all perceptive? I’m a lawyer, Arabella. Stop underestimating my people skills for once, or I’m going to hang up the phone.”

“Fine, fine. You’re right. It hasn’t really left me, partially, because it follows me around everywhere. You yourself said that you found it just by googling my name. Article after article detailing start-to-finish every aspect of our breakup and potential relationship history. None of that to mention that he’s two albums into the breakup and he won’t stop making songs about me.”

“How do you even know they’re about you?” Jeffrey asked innocently.

“The last album had a song called 100 degrees, which was entirely a reference to the perfect tire temp on an F1 tire. Not to mention the song just literally was about how hot I am but for some reason talking about me like I’m a car,” I sighed.

“I bet that didn’t sell well.” 

“Lookup ‘Cathal Lynch objectifies ex-girlfriend quite literally in newest single.’ That one actually gives me quite the giggle,” I told him, thinking about the article. It had some great one liners, such as ‘ He compares her body to a Ferrari, which considering their recent performance in F1, she will certainly take as an insult.’ They were right. I did. 

“Is he trying to win you back?” 

“More like he’s trying to annoy me. Every single time he puts an album out there talking about me, or mentions me at a concert, or talks about it in an interview, it gets my name right back in the tabloids. He knows I hate that. Thankfully, the press doesn’t really care to get my pictures anywhere but F1 races since they know I’ll always be there, and why waste resources when everyone else has seemingly moved on?”

“Except him.”

“Obviously,” I groaned. “Anyway…you’re right. I’ll figure out on my own what to do when it comes to the dinner thing. I need to be a grown up, I suppose.”

“Yes, you should. Now, do you mind if I have my own little moment here about my life?” Jeffrey asked. What am I supposed to say? No? After bitching for very long about everything in my life? It wouldn’t be fair.

“Yeah, of course.”

“Do you know what I hate? More than anything else?”

“Hmm?”

“So many people think I do DaVinci code type shit, and have the tomb of Jesus Christ himself locked away in a vault in Switzerland just because I work for a Swiss Bank.”

“Really? What’s the weirdest thing you have stored away?” I asked.

“I don’t actually know. We don’t ask questions. One client was storing just a single banana, and got pretty mad when the thing went rotten.”

“Did…did they think you would keep it fresh forever?”

“Somehow, yes. It was apparently one of those super rare plant species and his personal fruit tree had grown that singular one that year. I told him we’d buy him a box of those bananas to satisfy him.”

“What? Really? You just had the company shell out that that money just because this dude doesn’t understand a single thing about safety deposit boxes?”

“Y’know, when I was a kid, my dad made me work at Tesco. He wanted me to see how retail worked because he swore that I would otherwise grow up an entitled rich kid. And when I was a cashier, I would sit there and complain about my managers giving random people free things for things that were their fault. Then suddenly, one day he left early, gave me his pin and told me to handle any problems that arose. One customer in, and I realized how much easier it was to just satisfy them with whatever silly request they had even if it wasn't our fault.”

“Nice story, Jeffrey. My parents own a tiny hotel on an island. We weren’t playing poor, we just were. The hotel to this day barely stays afloat. And whenever someone came in and begged for something free or said they were upset with the way the room was cleaned, whatever, my parents would check and make sure it wasn’t their fault. If it wasn’t, they would happily tell them to fuck off,” I storied back to him.

“Alright, Arabella. Whatever you say, huh? You can’t just let someone have an opinion, can you?” He asked.

“That whole story was an opinion? What are you, a Tory?” I joked.

“Oh, shush,” He laughed. 

“Now you tell a woman to quiet up, huh? Jeffrey…tsk, tsk, tsk.”

“Alright, alright. I get it. Well, run off now and figure out what you’re doing tonight. I’ll let you go now.”

“Oh, really? I thought there would be more.”

“I just didn’t want you to feel weird. It’s supposed to be a tradeoff. I wanted to trade,” Jeffrey shrugged.

“You know you don’t have to say something. You can just wait until something happens and then call me,” I explained.

“Except if I turn on Sky Sports and see Mercedes is at the paddock?” Jeffrey asked.

“Unless it’s the race or qualifying, that’s probably the perfect time to call, actually. I’m an assistant, not an engineer, Jeffrey.”

“Oh, right on. Well, I’ll speak with you later, Bella.”

“Nope.”

“Thought I’d get away with it,” He sighed, hanging up the phone. I laughed hearing my phone beep away. As useless as I suppose that conversation was in practicality, in theory, it felt very safe. Somehow, despite the literal contract I had just signed and argument we had last night,  I might as well had been speaking with someone I knew for a decade. Perhaps he knew so much from looking me up that he could truly act like that, or maybe we just truly have the perfect matching energies for a platonic relationship. 

I stared at the door thinking about my next move. I realized that if I did what I wanted to do, I would be locking myself in this room, keeping to my strict comfort zone. I don’t want to do that. I sent off a text to Toto.

Me: I’ll take you up on the offer.

Tags: @daddyslittlevillain

[prettyflyshyguy]

Alright Season 3 lets give it up for season 3 everyone.

Cannot believe this show left me on "How do you know what you brought back it 100% pure Sam?" and I just said to myself

GODDAMN

and then just didn't watch S3E1 for three days

Anyway. Liveblogging spn while I work tonight. We're bringing back the old days where I did this with x files if any of you remember that LMAO

Kicking things off with a bang (and me trying to not post too many rambles about a stupid tv show, so I'm conglomerating my thoughts into big posts instead)

we have S3E1 - The Magnificent Seven

Love this show's deep appreciation for full black contact lenses MWAH

cheffs kiss

Sorry I know I should be focusing on the evil demon smoke going to infect whatever city this is but like. Do you guys actually genuinely have flags out the front of your houses like this for real

Like really. Do your houses really have flags like that.

OH YEAH BABEY SEASON 3 GOT AN INTRO STING GRAPHICAL UPDATE!!!!!!!!!! NICE

He is SO concerned

No one is giving me practical effects like this show is and I'm living for this

I WISH there was more of a scene in australia cause god I'd work as a prop maker for a living if it was a viable career to do more horror aligned stuff here.

They've spiced up the camera work this season and it is FUN!!!!

These two are great I hope they're gonna be regular supporting characters PLEASE

Highly entertaining seeing Dean's superpower of "Flirt with woman successfully" actually used as a utility (bonus points because it's making him uncomfortable)

RARE HAT-LESS BOBBY SPOTTED

Oh.

Absolutely visceral death, but a real damn shame because these two were cool :(

This show has no right just putting jokes like this right after a scene like THAT.

These dickheads are far too fun to be a one off PLEASE

Australian chanting

FOIGHT FOIGHT FOIGHT FOIGHT FOIGHT!!!!!!!!

Alright that was a fun way to start a season. Nice recap. I get it. It'dved been a while since it last aired. I like shitty pissed off Sam a LOT.

Are you tired of being nice Sam? Don't you just want to go apeshit?

Round 2 Electric Boogaloo with S3E2 - The Kids are Alright

Starting strong once again with a callback to Victorian worksafe ads!!

(Victorians know.)

Love that Sam inherited NONE of the lying genes in the family

I'm sorry you cant make the comment "as many as I can squeeze out" (EUPHAMISM) and then immediately smack me in the face with a fucking GUMBY REFERENCE?????!!!!!!!!!

Fuck off I hate this show. Fuck you dean you stupid piece of shit

A FUCKING

GUMBY REFERENCE (how many of you know what that is LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO)

Look I get it, I do, but c'mon he looks so fucking awkward getting cake while these two women are talking about the explicit details of his prior intimate experience with Lisa from 8 years ago

Like what the fuck did they DO to illicit a reaction as intense as these two women are giving

No I will not suspend my disbelief for the running gag No I'm not taking this too literally NO i don't have a problem with interpreting jokes

The closeup of Dean's face as his brain was doing the dialup tone killed me, then immediately PANIC but don't drop the cake (SAME)

Anyway. Lisa I love you. You're amazing. Please be done justice by this show. Please.

Need you all to know I go through hell (HAR HAR) to watch this show

And I thought my conversations in cafes sounded unhinged to bystanders (LITERALLY had some old dude tell me and a friend we were weirdos as we minded our own business drawing horror art in a cafe hgakjrhgkagh)

HATE that my brain just went "NOT THE SARAN WRAP SKIN" (we don't call it that. Next I'll start pronouncing things more wrong than I already do)

Not the white DS Lite!!!!!!!!

Remember this kid you bullied in highschool? This is them now

Oh this show doesn't pull punches and it has some NICE shots

Anyway bye Lisa I love you I hope you come back soon :(

the running gag of bizarre interior décor hotel room never ceases to entertain me, I'm like a small child

Anyway

ran out of room for more images on this post so. Who knows maybe I'll fuck off or I'll do a part 2 tonight we'll see

[aotopmha]

I finished the Myths of the Realm alliance raid.

I've actually been super busy in FF14 these last two weeks – I also did the 6.1 MSQ, the job quest capstones, the ShB role quest capstones, the Omega Endwalker capstone and a bunch of other stuff that's not story-related.

As far as major content left, I think I only have the 8-man raid series, EW role quests and the rest of the MSQ to go now.

Though the EW role quests don't feel as immediately significant as the ShB ones, so I'm not as much in a hurry to get them done.

All of these bits of content will probably get their own posts in due time.

And I think there is a bunch more to say even for stuff I've already talked about.

But for now, I'll talk about Euphrosyne and Thaleia.

And I think they didn't quite continue the momentum in terms of mechanical creativity that Aglaia started, which is sad, but I think I'd at least place them above any of the Crystal Tower and Void Ark raids and I can say I don't agree with some of the more extreme takes on them because I think they still have some really creative fights/elements in there.

Firstly, I'm sad they didn't continue the mini boss encounters and instead defaulted back to regular mobs between fights. It's something fairly unique to any encounters in the game.

A few more could've been fun.

But going from Byregot's really cool "crafting" mechanic theming to Nophica's comparatively mundane AoEs is also a downgrade.

It's a beautiful-looking fight with the season changes and I even get the farming theme within the AoEs, but I think her fight is probably the weakest fight in the entire raid series.

It really is just basic AoE dodging. The alternating colors are the most unique part of the fight, but I think Tsukiyomi did that in a much thematically stronger way, too.

Moving on, I really like the Astrologian theming for Nymeia. Her design is one of my favourites. I love her clothes.

On one hand, Nymeia and Althyk are the only double fight in all of the three wings, which in itself gives the fight its own identity, but on the other hand I wish each had their own fight.

I like how the gravity and cards are combined and needing to play according to the card effects is neat, though, again, in comparison, I think Rhalgr was just so much stronger in terms of having its own identity, particularly with its super unique arena that is used in fun ways.

Avoiding gravity has been in many fights at this point and so has been dodging status effects and I feel this fight doesn't really do much new with that.

But it is also not entirely devoid of personality by combining these two ideas.

Next, I think Halone actually gets a really good fight. The memory game in her fight isn't necessarily new, either, but I like how it is executed in it because I think it and her delayed attacks are really satisfying to dodge. Her nature as a spear-wielding warrior goddess comes through really well in the fight and I love her transforming weapon.

In fact, I want that weapon for DRK (would be really cool if it was available for both DRK and PLD in its respective spear and shield/greatsword form, maybe even having a form specifically for DRG, and you'd be able to change between them for cosmetic purposes).

I feel there is a fun fire/ice parallel with Aglaia and Eusophryne and Azeyma/Halone: fire being dark-aspected and ice being light-aspected, and the identities of their fights contrasting each other.

While Azeyma felt like a free-flowing reactive fight, Halone felt very orderly and "set in stone" so to say. Passive vs active and I think that's really cool.

I want to mention the ice citadel and the two moons, too, which is probably my favourite location in all of the three wings of the raid visually, though Aglaia's Heaven of Fire is a very close contender.

Menphina I'd put on par with Althyk and Nymeia.

There are some "almost" unique elements with her fight, like Dalamud jumping out of his target ring or the moon creating an attack when it becomes full, but they're more like neat details than fully substantial unique mechanics.

Menphina is one of my favourites out of all of the gods in terms of actual personality.

She's so playful and fun. Her having a magical girl-like aesthetic for a goddess of love is also super fun/cute and I want Dalamud as a mount.

So, all of the fights in Euphrosyne have their own "personality" visually, but it doesn't always translate into the mechanics. But when it does, we get cool stuff like Halone's fight or cute elements like a puppy named Dalamud that is having fun with hit boxes or the goddess of fate using Astrologian cards. It's not as distinct as what came before in a general sense to me, but I still had a bunch of fun running it.

Moving on to Thaleia, I definitely like Thaliak more than Nophica because I like the Zodiark positioning mechanic and I like dodging the triangles because you have to think slightly more about your positioning than with fairly generic AoEs. It's not "unique" so to speak, but what is there is done well enough.

I see Lymlaen the same way. Nier did the corridor running better, but I still really like how she creates an opening in the middle of the whirlpool she created as her arena. It's such a cool idea, but most of her fight still ends up being AoE dodging, which at this point just frustrated me.

I feel you could've done some neat stuff with manipulating the whirlpool and that alone would've strenthened the general identity of it.

I do love that the goddess of the sea is a tough pirate lady, though.

I think Oschon is the best fight in Thaleia. I love the predictive mechanics involving his archery. His fight is a super distinctive fight in terms of showcasing him as a fighter, just like Halone's.

I feel like Bards are fairly underrepresented in the game, too, so the fight is welcome in this sense, as well.

They even manage to weave the straight-forward stuff into this reactive archery identity of the fight.

Finally, there is Eulogia.

I think this fight is basically the alliance raid version of the final Eden fight. I like final fights that test you on mechanics that you've encountered up to that point.

In this case, I think it being a "test" fight really benefitted the narrative structure and did a great job at crafting a sense of finality for the entire raid in terms of the gameplay and story alike.

To me it completed the entire package, even if I thought the first wing was the best part of it.

In a general enjoyment sense, I was never truly bored through any of the encounters, I just think some fights could've been better.

They still sound great and look great and give some really cool glamour.

And I'll probably be happier to get any of these raid wings in roulettes than Nier or Ivalice because I feel you can get through them comparatively quickly. Nier is really long in particular.

So, I can see where the criticisms for the series come from, but none of the criticisms I *personally* have for it truly ruin any of it.

Now if the game kept going down this path and never changing and leaning more and more on these generic encounter tropes, it would eventually become a true problem.

Once again looking at the statements about Dawntrail, though, luckily it seems they are aiming to nip this homogenization issue in the bud.

[toastess-with-the-mostess]

Let's Rewind! Toast watches Voltron: Defender of The Universe (1984)

Season 1, Episode 31: The Sincerest Form of Flattery Season 1, Episode 32: A Transplant For Blue Lion

Episode 31: The Sincerest Form of Flattery

Lotor made the mistake of trying to boss Zarkon around and immediately was greeted with robeasts to "escort" him away from Zarkon's presence I'd ask if you even understood what you were doing, but the answer is a resounding no

The fight seemed so weird until I realized dotu cut out a handful of scenes because they were gory, Lotor definitely stabbed one robeast through the chest and maybe beheaded another

Oh shit! Zarkon v Lotor but for real this time! Lotor obviously is going to lose, but this should be fun to watch him fail at

AN ANIME FREEZE FRAME?? I KEEP FORGETTING THIS WAS ORIGINALLY AN ANIME AND HAS THAT KIND OF STUFF ZARKON JUST CUT LOTOR'S HELMET IN HALF AND MADE THE GUY BLEED

I'm so mad that the main antagonist for the team got switched to Lotor instead of being kept as Zarkon, he feels like a better villain than his overgrown pet sperm

Haggar to save Lotor's life, though she should've let Lotor get turned into a robeast like he himself suggested lol instead we get an ACTUAL mech for Voltron to fight this time, the rest have usually been cyborg type deals

Back on Arus, the team formed Voltron to help out with reconstruction after the last attack on the city that happened We really should see that more often tbh, nice to see the team doing humanitarian (Arusianarian?) work

HUNK I DON'T THINK BEING ABLE TO PUNCH THROUGH A TABLE AND THEN RIP YOUR HANDS OUT FROM IT ALONGSIDE A CHUNK OF WHATEVER THAT TABLE IS MADE OF IS NORMAL

Ooh new defense system, Ad EAS i think Coran said, stands for Advanced Early Alarm System which isn't a bad acronym Apparently the regular defense system detects when an enemy gets within 50 tyketes(?) of Arus but the new one detects and attacks enemies that enter 200 tyketes this definitely won't go wrong

And it immediately gets destroyed LMAO Lotor showed up and decided to mess with it before getting pissed and shooting one of the command ship's lasers right through the satellite maybe the castle should've deployed more than 4 of those things

Actually though, Ad EAS is a good early detection system to help stall for time while the teams gets up to space, Arus IS rebuilding after all so even if it doesn't do much time is precious

The team is NOT having a good time up there, again I know it's for the drama but c'mon guys if you were already freaked out by the legitimate giant robot you have to fight why not even it up with your own giant robot

HOLY SHIT A ROBEAST ACTUALLY ATTACKED THE TEAM MID TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE?? INCREDIBLE IT DIDN'T DO ANYTHING BECAUSE THERE'S A FORCE FIELD OR LIKE TOO MUCH ENERGY OUTPUT SO IT JUST SENT IT FLYING BACK

It's cool to know that voltron has more than one weapon at their disposal, but I wish they were used more sparingly just because I want Voltron to start throwing hands LMAO

OH SHIT THE ROBEAST ACTUALLY MANAGED TO KNOCK VOLTRON BACK INTO THE ATMOSPHERE It pierced through blue lion, getting real close to Allura, so she freaked out and lost control of blue's thruster so Voltron isn't doing so hot

aaand all that hard work for the city has gone to shit, Arus can't catch a fucking break huh, maybe the people should just move further away from the castle, so they don't get hit, assuming this is the nearest town

I'm sorry the joint above blue lion is where most of Voltron's energy is stored?? Absolute bullshit reasoning, the writers could've done better by literally reminding Lotor that blue's already weakened

DID VOLTRON JUST GET STABBED IN THE CHEST?? EXCUSE ME?? WHAT IS HAPPENING THIS EPISODE robeast defeated, hooray!

Voltron just became a cripple omg, blue lion still as a foot btw just DROPPED so confused as to how voltron still existed after that, but the boys disbanded anyway to protect Allura who's out cold after a crash-land

They're still fighting holy shit, usually the episode ends after the robeast gets fucked and the lions are getting beat up too, castle defenses had to chase away Lotors command ship what a wild turn of events

Into the hospital Allura goes, she had an injury on her shoulder, she's fine though as always

/episode end

Episode 32: A Transplant For Blue Lion

WOAH CONTINUITY?? They're picking up this episode with a bit of a time skip to remind viewers that Lotor actually did something right for once

Allura's still hurt, but that hasn't stopped her yet, what a good princess

GOD DAMN IT ALFOR WHY ARE YOU BACK

I always liked the idea that the boys didn't see Alfor as often as Allura did so they just think she's still grieving for him but every time this show uses Alfor as a crutch it hurts ME

Keith being a poetry nerd is such an on brand thing, I'm so sad they removed all this personality he had in preference for making him emo and solitary This man is goofy as hell! He's optimistic and happy-go-lucky, where did it all go

Keith getting angry out of nowhere is wild, he's never done that before especially towards Lance and yes it's out of nowhere because it's not like Lance was being a dick he was just being lazy AND THAT'S HIS NORMAL

Allurance moment though not super convincing to me because other Allurance versions have insane chemistry, dotu lance is for my mutual thank you

A militia! Good on the nearby townsfolk for choosing to fight against Lotor on their own grounds, I mean they will probably get DECIMATED, but they've got the spirit

Training time, the blue lion has been repaired fairly quick actually and Allura is having a tough time with keeping up I do like that this show shows her struggling and actively working to do better but like a little more continuity please? I say as it's a show aimed for children

NANNY I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DON'T GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD THAT NOBODY CAN REPLACE ALLURA ANYMORE I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF, GOOD GOD I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF IT CAME OUT THAT SHE WAS A DRULE SPY ALL ALONG BUT SHE'S NOT EVEN SMART ENOUGH FOR THAT ROLE NOW IS SHE

Animation error? Is that Keith the blue pilot uniform

Some Hunk focus! I wonder if he has some kind of rejection sensitivity because he just started bawling when as the left leg of voltron got hit and fell off like allura's did last episode, very much doesn't like making mistakes

And the attack begins! As I thought the town is burnt to hell though the people did fight for a while so good for them EXCEPT HUNK IS STILL THINKING HE'S EXPENDABLE LIKE SIR THOSE ARE NOT GOOD THOUGHTS SUICIDE IS NOT THE WAY

Looks like the training actually helped! They blew up the robeast's head without forming Voltron, though they still formed up because they have to double tap the thing to make sure it isn't still kicking

ALFOR WHY ARE YOU EVEN BACK AGAIN, STAY DEAD ASSHOLE

Robeast defeated and a pregnant woman from earlier in the episode gave birth by the end! How cute, though using Voltron or Voltrisha as a name for an actual child is literally setting them up for bullying OSIDN

/episode end

[rebelsofshield]

Star Wars: The Bad Batch “Entombed” - Review

The Batch go tomb raiding in a decidedly average episode.

When Omega stumbles upon a strange compass in a scrap heap, the Batch get roped into joining treasure hunter Phee Genoa on a quest to find a valuable artifact. However, this ancient tomb may be hiding more than riches.

One of the joys of Star Wars is that its setting provides ample opportunity for storytellers to play around with genre. Its a vast universe that has room for adventure pulp, war epics, spy thrillers, kaiju science fiction, star crossed romance, sports drama, and even slapstick comedy. The Clone Wars spent a large amount of its second season playing around with the possibilities offered up by the Star Wars playground. It makes sense that The Bad Batch would try the same and the series’ episodic format lends itself well to trying on different storytelling forms.

That seems to have been the inspiration behind “Entombed,” a treasure hunting story that takes the Batch inside a mysterious tomb. While the immediate comparison might be something like Indiana Jones or The Mummy (which The Clone Wars already riffed off in the rather fun “Legacy of Terror”), the result ends up feeling like you’re watching someone play the puzzle portions of a Tomb Raider or Uncharted game. If that sounds only mildly interesting, that’s because it is. Sure, there’s a fun monster crawling around in the tombs ducts, but it never feels like much of a threat and only appears in passing glances. While I appreciated the break from the usual blaster action last week, there just isn’t much going on in “Entombed” to hold one’s interest. “Faster” gave us some fast paced racing sequences and some enjoyable character beats for Tech and Cid, but the puzzles that the Batch and Phee solve here aren’t particularly interesting to figure out as an audience member and there isn’t much if anything going on in terms of development for our regular cast or guest stars.

It’s a shame given that Wanda Sykes is always brings a spark of energy to pretty much any project she’s a part of. Even if Phee is a fairly one note treasure hunter, Sykes voices her with enough snark and swagger to make her personality big enough to steal most scenes she’s a part of. I just wish Christopher Yost’s script gave her more to do.

“Entombed” does pick up a bit towards its final third with the reveal that the tomb is in fact the inner workings of a giant, ancient droid. The machine is fascinating to look at because of how thoroughly its sleek, almost stone like design feels so unlike any other droid we’ve seen in the franchise. I’m a sucker for any kind of eldritch contraption and watching this towering, dinosaur like mech wake up and start blasting away at the desolate landscape brought me right back into an episode that had otherwise lost my interest. And sure, I would’ve liked to see a bit more of this strange droid and get a hint at just what its ancient purpose might be, but just having this giant automaton wander about for a bit was a highlight.

In all honesty, outside of a cool robot, I don’t think I’m going to remember much of “Entombed.” Its passable but never quite interesting television for a series that still seems to be struggling to find a purpose for its less eventful episodes. Let’s hope we get back on track soon.

Score: B-

[undertheknightwing]

I have to ask gar

I already did Gar but I can do him again no problem >:)

First impression

THAT'S MY SON. I first saw him when I found clips of Titans on youtube and Beast Boy has always been my favorite so when I saw him in Titans OH MY GOD my heart EXPLODED. I fell in love immediately 💚 He's the only reason I started watching the show and he's still the only reason I go back and watch it.

Impression now

Even though he's treated worse than a side character, what little they did with his character is everything I wanted from Beast Boy. Even as a kid I got bored with Gar being the "stupid one who eats pizza and says dude" and wanted more darkness to his character, and Titans gave me that.. in like tiny amounts but still! I got angsty shit to work with. Other than his character being upgraded, can we acknowledge Ryan Potter for a second because his performance was utter perfection 🤩 Gar probably wouldn't be as great of a character as he is if Ryan didn't get casted as him. Ryan's Gar will forever be my go-to version.

Gar is my special boy who's constantly spinning around in my brain. Whether it's strictly Titans!Gar or my own version of Gar, he's always up there 💚

Favorite moment

Other than the ones I mentioned in my other ask, I really like the scenes where Ryan actually got to have emotion, like when Gar finally snaps and yells at people. A scene from s3 where Gar is yelling at Dick to stop his lone wolf bullshit and starts to beast out is sooo good. And for the same emotional acting reasons, the scene when he tears that dude apart and is terrified afterwards in "Asylum" is heartbreakingly amazing.

Idea for a story

In the show, I wish they actually did something with the Red. They made it seem like it was gonna be important to the main story but it wasn’t, it could have been cut out of the plot and nothing would change. I would have made it way more important to the season, like use the comic storyline it comes from. Brother Blood wants to resurrect Trigon but can't without the Red so he goes after Beast Boy to use him as a sacrifice since he has a connection to it.

In Titans it would be Mother Mayhem but the same idea, she wants Gar because he has most powerful connection to the Red anyone’s ever seen and then cue all the angst of Gar realizing it's him who's a part of a world ending prophecy this time. Plus we'd learn much more about the Red that way.

Unpopular opinion

I said it once and I'll say it again: I don't care for his suit. The design is just weird to me and looks extremely out of place next to to the other Titans' suits. Also what's the point of giving him a suit that shapeshifts with him when he rarely ever shapeshifts?? And by the end of the series he's living in the Red dimension and isn't a superhero anymore.. so??? It was just a check box thing I think, no real thought put into it other than "we gotta do this before the show ends".

Favorite relationship

Besides Rachel, Gar's relationships with the others is very surface level and can be boiled down to one thing. No one shares any deep connection or has any meaningful scenes with him (again, besides Rachel), it's mainly mission related or to set up a joke when the others interact with him. I can not think of a single scene where one of Titans had a regular conversation with him. So I'm going with his relationship with the Red, it was super cute and it's a fact it cares a ton about him. It changed it's color for him because he likes green that's so 🥺 he's the favorite child fr and he deserves to be.

Other than Titans, I greatly enjoy writing my Gar's relationships in Escapism obviously lol

Favorite headcanon

A universal one I use for my fic is that he does have pointy ears, fangs, and claws but learned how to temporarily shapeshift them away so he could blend in with other people and explore places outside the manor without unwanted attention. And I imagine he can have a tail too. His human form is just that, another form he can shapeshift into. It's a disguise to look normal enough so he can exist around others without feeling like a monster.

[firespirited]

My teen and early adult 'fixation' on suicide was vaster than i'd thought (hate to call it a special interest even if that's really the correct term). I kind of blocked it out as necessary learning that wasn't worth thinking about ever again the moment it truly hit me that dad could self sabotage but never hurt himself that directly - this wasn't like all the cases where people didn't think the person they cared about wasn't that unwell, I wasn't going to be blind sided after all - ... I immediately moved on and tried to forget every last bit. Deliberately avoided all related topics aside from euthanasia in the already terminal, the pros and cons from an advocacy standpoint.

Those of you who've been following for a while know i can infodump at the drop of a hat about how auto-erotic asphyxiation is really hard to differentiate from regular suicide (along with strongly worded "no breath play" screeds), about "no guns if you have mental health issues" being inaccurate and insufficient enough because escalating disputes often don't get a mental health diagnosis.

I was able to recognize intrusive thoughts of self violence and even repeated phrases as non-suicidal in 2021 and stop being so scared (which helped it ease off actually) so I guess it wasn't for naught.

But uh yeah, there's a huge folder in my brain about martyrdom: the personal, the collective, the societal. celebrated or unnoticed. religious or heroic. misguided ableism and ageism. this one is personal on multiple levels not just the ableism stuff, the martyr stuff I was raised to sort of wish for and folks i knew in the mindset. kept getting dinged by media not world events so I started using doesthedogdie and watching after a full season had aired.

(another folder: technically not suicide but also very much slow suicide tempting death and the will to 'not be'. This one gets triggered regularly. It's part of the reason I'm vocal about eating disorder content and patterns of behaviour like calorie counting, 'clean' eating... it's not because I have a problem with food or my weight but I know the death rates and know the various spirals and they're haunting.)

The past few days I've posted a couple of uncharacteristically glib sounding things. I'm okay and it's not out of character, it's just a piece of me that rarely appears and approaches very dark subject matter with near scientific detachment in the wording and a lot of unspoken resigned sadness that doesn't come across in text and i probably couldn't put into words if i dared to: a pain that's more suffocating numbness than spiky.

The way the subject matter takes over my brain as high priority despite fighting it (and of course life's doing its usual chaos LOL) mean that i haven't been as present as wanted. I see new mental patterns to break and am going to work on it. 💚 Stay safe everyone.

[sucktacular]

Let me give you an ask I know you'll love. Top 5 moments from death note, any version including light novels is 👌🏼

OKay this is SO late because I wasn't using my desktop for a hot second and mobile doesn't like to tell me about inbox messages, but I also didn't check so that's my bad! <3 But both of y'all asking about top 5 death note momence has me so <3 <3 <3 ; w ;

Okay so I will preface this with: it has been a very hot minute since I read LABB so as much as I'm obsessed with it entirely, I probably forgot some very good moments. u_u These are gonna be silly moments cuz I like the funnies.

Starting at number 5 and going to my favorite moment:

5. The entire time Light is under house surveillance. From the weirdly conservative and leisurely skimming of lingerie mags to look like an average, regular teen (not believable). To the famous "I'll take a potato chip... heh... AND EAT IT!" scene. Classic.

4. I think it's like 1 week max since Light had got the Death Note. Lind L. Taylor shows up on tv and Light is like ??. He introduces himself as "L", says I have a pretty good idea of why you're doing this, but "what you are doing... is evil!". And Light IMMEDIATELY is like oh FUCK this guys ENTIRE life. DIE! Which also outs his location like entirely, LOL. Idk it's just very funny to me. Anti-kira? CANCELLED... LIVE!!!

3. Light and L's fist fight(s). Love watching these homophobic gays fight each other with their bare hands and get knocked around because they're chained together. They clearly love it too and I wish they'd get their hands dirty a bit more often instead of just always using their massive brains to have dirty brain sex.

2. From the LABB Murder Cases, Chapter 5, Page 117-119: A very close second favorite part of mine is when Naomi comes up from the kitchen at a crime scene with some coffee on a tray for her and Rue Ryuzaki (private detective and Freak). She opens the door and askes if he found any more clues and then notices he's just laying in the middle of the room, flat on his back, arms and legs sprawled out like a star fish. She's frozen looking at this dude and then repeats the question and is kinda worried he's gonna start crawling around with his back arched like in some horror movie (ps. For context: she found this guy at a crime scene when she looked under the bed and he crawled out from under it (hes a seasoned on-all-fours crawler), and ate a jar of jam with his bare hands for lunch. amongst... other things. so she's already going THROUGH it with this dude). He doesn't respond and shes like uhm? and he says "I'm a corpse." "Hunh??" "I have become a corpse. I cannot answer. I am dead." She's bewildered but just accepts it and ponders how to get around this dude so she can put the coffee tray down. She eventually goes to jump over him but completely fucks it and steps, in boots, right on his gut. In an attempt to catch her balance and not spill the hot coffee on him and everywhere she puts her entire weight on him." "Gah!" said the corpse." "S-sorry!" she remarks and then they carry on. I'd give anything to be a fly on the wall with these two.

From the LABB Murder Cases, Chapter 2, Page 55-56: My favorite part of the book (tho honestly there are so many so don't quote me on that lol) is when Naomi goes into the bathroom to speak to L on the phone about the case at hand. She reports that a strange private detective is there helping her. To which L asks point blank: "Is he cool?" and shes like.... what? and he repeats the question and she's still unsure how to answer such a question, but lays it on THICK. She's dead honest and is like this guy SUCKS, he's quite honestly a PATHETIC FREAK and a WEIRDO "and I'm surprised he hasn't killed himself yet". I'm crying! She said that!! There is silence and L changes the subject back to the case. BUT the best part is she leaves the bathroom to go back to investigating and the "freak" in question (Rue Ryuzaki) is standing right there and was most likely eaves dropping on the whole conversation she just had. The whole scene has me hollering entirely and I think about this art done by @/ekmeko everyday. Link

[psych---ologically-deranged]

psych 3x2 commentary: murder, anyone, anyone, bueller?

AB, JB

So happy abt the highschool romcom ep, & so happy that there are only 2 ppl & the audio is so clear.

Brokeback episode? An ice storm episode? Shawn & Gus in a Tent? Yes please.

Shawn: perfect memory High school: Nowhere in his brain, so he claims

Rachel Lee Cook

Yes! So glad that they're together!

"There... there is already confirmed a season 4."

An ACTUAL high school "this was filmed at lunch" XD ok

Nah I looove tracking shots. "If you admired any of James Roday's thigh tone, it's from this work"

"Judd Nelson is watching the podcast commentary right now at home"

"that's an actual stunt guy we threw off the building. He is no longer with us. I would like to thank him for his commitment to the show." "It was Andy Berman!"

I just realized, there was no flashback here!

"It was cold. Vancouver is not Santa Barbara." "You can see the, what do you call it?" Me: Fog? Breath? "Their spirits leaving their bodies."

"It's because I can't find another job"

They're treating the podcast commentary like it's a job interview now XD

Huh, first ep ehe filmed, good for him

they actually filmed the maddie/henry phone call live on opposite sides of the sound stage!?!? That's actually cool, I love if when they discuss this sort of thing on film commentaries.

Lassiter, not Juliet? ig he is head det

"The wonderful Tim Omundson" Your reunion, my date, your case but your reunion, I'm on it with you but no I'm not also why are you

""wE COULD HAVE BUT WE DIDN'T""The background is red because it's evil" "It's deeply religious"

Oh her pills & rushmore

"Yeah but your script was 140 pages"

"Look at that package" was not in the script "Actually it's in every andy berman script"

I love background artists

Wow henry is sad

"We record these in the morning & I'm on my starbucks Green, & I am so regular, BMs like a champ" Buddy why are you telling me this on the commentary track? "You could do it in Kelly's trash can" !???

(in singsong voice) phallic!

Guy in green jacket! Guy in green jacket!

"Don't you hate it when your parents show up at the high school reunion?" 'Oh yeah mine ruined the whole night' "Mine won king & queen"

That was Corbin genuinely lasting

"Painted whore" That was like a two-AM inspiration on my part

All pills & a pair of scissors

*reads label* "Well that figures"

This man did the dance of EVERY character & he had to come up with what specifically to do On Set

Aw man imagine if they DID have russian strippers

*Out of the blue in silence* 'Do you think John Hughs saw this movie?' "No." '...End of commentary'

I hate on Lassiter a ton but he really loves Juliet. When the chief comes in all sus, he says she was helping him arrest his date. He's great. Then Karen says "Ok, I believe you" but immediately turns around with "Whatever it is you're really working on, you're not getting paid" & like... yeah ok lol. I like his little face with the small mouth

Talking about puberty now & armpit hair in jr high, what are these commentaries?

I would have loved to see the entire slideshow, going down the row of guys in speedos & then Gus at the end fully clothed. I WISH it was a thing on the DVDs

We literally see juliet arrest eileen maswell

That one guy "Alternatively we cut to the whitest guy with a blank face"

"Sometimes you see extras & some of the people are making out, & did they naturally start making out or were they directed that way?" Buddy you're the one who works in TV

I miss psych but this fixation is leaving me

[bestiari]

— 11:25 PM —

Quite a different kind of Thanksgiving. Not so much the food; had the usual chicken. It's just a coin flip, whether it'll be made by my mom or KFC.

We landed on mom's side of the coin this year. Pretty good. Kinda wish I had more of it right now.

Besides that, I ended up on a fun ride to PCH. Followed by King's Buffet - the premiere Chinese buffet of Hollywood. And now, I'm watching the Sopranos. It's only 23:44. How did we get here?

Also, mind the photo. I finally saw the Himeno scene and I've fallen in love yet again. Truly would make my crush on Misato be humble. Coz I'm just down bad for this one. LOL.

— 11:50 PM —

What I listened to;

"You Can't Escape You Know", Aperture Science Psychoacoustic Laboratories

I've been feeling rather nostalgic for Portal 2 recently. There's something about this pair of games that truly comes together for me. The puzzles. The humor. The soundtrack. The way it just absolutely melds together. It's beautiful.

What I watched;

Chainsaw Man 06: It's the scene. It happened. I've been smitten yet again. Anyways, you read about that already.

The Sopranos - 0101, The Pilot: I didn't expect it to immediately get started. Also, it's only 6 seasons? I feel like it was relevant for far longer. Maybe it's coz time was a weird concept to grasp as a kid. Either way, the characters are absolutely fucked up in this show already. And I'm all for it.

What I played;

Sort of a mishmash of stuff. I really wanted to play Tetris Effect Connect / DJMax Respect V... but I forgot to do my patch downloads on my Steam Deck. And it absolutely does not like being in offline mode. Wild. Ended up playing marathon mode in Money Idol Puzzle Exchange. It's pretty fun every time I get into the meat of it. Tried Beatmania 12XD Happy Sky Mix... or whatever. But It's like 7Key on a PS2 pad. I could not comprehend it. Moved to Melee, but the frameskip was weird.

Finished the night with some Valorant games with Michael. I feel like we could have stopped after the first game. LOL. How did end up with TWO KITTENS??

What I felt;

3 days off didn't feel like much of a break. It's kinda fucked up. Managed to stay in the zone most of the evening, so at least that felt good. I'm glad I didn't overeat. I'm looking forward to BK tomorrow. With or without Andi.

— 12:09 AM —

Why;;

It feels like every hour I dedicate to one thing only piles on what feels like a detriment and loss of time for everything else I want to do. I'm already starting to feel a plateau in my general performance - regardless of what game it is. With that, I'm about 16 hours into P5R - about 2 resets so far, so my save is like 14hrs. I feel like it's also difficult to remember the story going on. Maybe that's a tale for another day. I don't feel like going on about how memory feels like it's slipping. Muddled.

I'm looking forward to using this for notes throughout the day. Maybe I can finally hone in on a more regular schedule. I'm losing more to sleep than ever before. It pains me so. Sleep is truly all I want in life, most of the time. The 2 years of Covidtime spoiled me with so much time to be in bed. So much time to just be alone in my thoughts. Even when I had several people to talk to.

— 01:20 AM —

I like that the dairy app I paid way too much for sort of recognizes sharing to Tumblr. Sorta.

[mercy-burning]

Good Little Helper

Pairing: Season 5! Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: Reader gets assigned to be Spencer’s personal assistant of sorts after he gets shot in the knee. Category: SMUT(18+) Content Warnings: fingering (female receiving), blowjob, praise kink, dirty talk, blink and you’ll miss it cumplay Word Count: 4.7k

MASTERLIST

NOTE: So, remember yesterday when I posted about how I wished new ideas would stop distracting me from everything I’m currently working on? Yeah. This wouldn’t leave me alone, and I couldn’t work on anything until I got it out of my head, so here! Have a fic! (It was supposed to be a blurb, but I got a little long-winded so now it’s too long to be a blurb oops 😙✌) Also, I apologize for any editing mistakes, I just wrote this out in one go, so hopefully it’s alright!

***

Being assigned to assist Dr. Reid with practically his every need after he was shot in the knee wasn't exactly how I expected to spend the past few months.

And that's, like... a huge understatement.

In fact, when Agent Hotchner came up to me in the break room and said he'd like me to do the job, I dropped my coffee and shattered a mug. I could tell he was a little impatient with me, even through his kind reassurances that it was quite all right as he helped me clean it up and waited for an answer.

In the end I'd said yes to the job, though the more I thought about it the more I wondered how much lust and naivete had clouded my judgement when I did.

Because there was absolutely no way I was going to be able to survive weeks, possibly months, as Spencer Reid's assistant. Not only because he was intimidatingly intelligent and there was almost nothing I could offer him in decent conversation, but also—and more prominently—the fact that I was pretty sure I was in love with him.

Maybe that was a stretch. I definitely had a stupid major crush on him that felt more like we were in middle school, but I could barely look at him without going warm all over. In fact, I think we had only ever made eye contact once and I averted my gaze immediately, afraid I'd give myself away. If I'd have held it any longer, I was positive I'd have burst into flames.

He'd tried talking to me once, a few months after I started working at the Bureau, and it was only to ask if I'd send some files over to their tech analyst, Penelope Garcia, but when I tried answering, I stumbled over my words and ended up only getting out a squeaked, "Uh huh," before taking the files from him and scurrying off.

I almost cried that day.

Basically every time I was in his presence, I was a total wreck. Even more so than I was on any other given day.

Being his assistant did get fairly easy pretty early on, though. I mostly just stayed out of his way while he worked, and if he need anything that he could've gotten himself if not for the injury, it was my job to get it for him. I worked on my own paperwork most of the time, and he was always busy working on geographical profiles and whatever else, we only ever really had to talk when he asked for something. And that only required a, "Sure," on my end, so I could just get up, get what he needed, and then go back to work.

Still, it didn't help that sometimes I'd get distracted.

He was very distracting.

I usually waited until I was sure he was so busy in work that I wouldn't get caught. And that's when I'd peek over my computer or hide behind a book and stare at him. I know that sounds creepier than it is, but if you had to spend almost every hour of the day with him, you'd have done the same. Even though for months he was put on rest from the field, he always showed up looking more like a college professor than an FBI agent. Which, I suppose suited him more anyway. Regardless, it was a damn fine look. His hair was decently long and extremely pretty, and when he got the cane?

I was a goner.

It was at that point, though, when I started to realize that he probably wouldn't need my help anymore. He'd been allowed back into the filed by then, and even when I went with them on cases it still felt like I was more out of place than usual. Sure, I'd picked up on some minor skills that aided in profiling and otherwise, but at the end of the day I was still only a desk clerk. Sooner or later, I knew there would be a time where Agent Hotchner would inevitably tell me that I'd done a good job and could return to my menial day job.

So, even though Dr. Reid and I had gotten into a pretty regular, non-awkward rhythm, I was being a little more squirrely than usual.

And of course, he noticed.

"Y/N, are you doing alright?" he asked, looking up from his stack of paperwork. That was another thing we'd ended up doing— late into the night after everyone had gone home, we stayed late in the conference room and quietly filled out paperwork.

I barely looked him in the eye when I answered. "O—Oh, mhm. I'm fine."

"Oh... You just seem... a little different today."

On any other day I would have freaked out on the inside like a teenager, excited that he'd noticed me at all enough to notice a difference in my behavior. But that was his job after all.

"Actually, you seem rather... sad."

I did look up at him this time, and the soft glow of the table lamp lit up his features— features that looked me over with concern. I could feel my face grow warmer with every second I looked at him, until I quickly looked back down at my paper and shook my head.

"N—No, I'm okay. Promise. Just a little tired, that's all."

Usually he would have left it at that, given we didn't ever really have longer conversations than that that didn't pertain to whatever case the BAU was working on. But he pushed further, and I swallowed.

"Are you sure? Because... You can tell me if there's something wrong. I'm a good listener..."

Did I dare tell him what was really plaguing me? That I was scared I wasn't going to be able to spend time with him every day, thus most likely giving away my crush? That is, if he hadn't already figured it out by this point... Truthfully it wouldn't have surprised me.

The thought made me go warm again, and still, I kept my head down.

"I'm sure..."

And then I did something I probably shouldn't have. I looked back up at him, just a quick glance, but under his intense gaze I crumbled, flitting my eyes back down and playing with my hands.

"Is it... because of me?"

Afraid suddenly that I'd made him feel bad, I straightened a little. "No! No, not at all I... Um... I—I guess I'm just... A little sad that I'm probably... not going to be of any help to you anymore. You know, now that you're healing up."

A small smile flashed over his face, and I inwardly melted.

"Oh... In that case I... I guess I'm sad, too."

"Really?" I asked softly, my heart jumping.

"Mhm," he answered back in earnest. His features were softer than they'd ever been, eyes wide and kind, smile inviting... "You've been a great help. And you're fun to be around."

I couldn't help but smile shyly at his confession, completely bewildered that he'd think of me as someone he'd enjoyed being around, though I'd offered just about nothing interesting to any conversation we'd had. "Y—You don't mean that..."

"I do."

"C'mon, really? I... I—mean... coming from you that's... that's too generous."

He laughed a little. "How do you mean?"

"I... Well, y—you're you... I mean, you're... smart, and nice, and cu— uh,... n—nice..." I stumbled hard on that last one, squeezing my eyes shut at the thought of almost calling him cute to his face... And then I realized I'd called him nice two times... in a row.

I hadn't even realized he'd gotten up and walked over to me until I felt his cane gently tap my leg. I jumped, looking up at him and almost crumbled again right then and there. He stood over me, tall and clearly amused, and I wanted to just curl up and hide where no one would ever find me.

I also didn't want to be craning my neck so far up to see him, so I stood up, sending my chair rolling back a foot or two. The added height was better, but he was still fiarly taller than me, and with the way were standing so close to each other?

Maybe I'd made a mistake...

"I—I'm sorry," I stammered.

Still amused, Spencer tilted his head a small amount. "What for?"

"I... I don't know, m—making this awkward?"

"It's not awkward."

"It... It's not?"

He shook his head, quiet for a few beats before he nearly whispered. "What were you going to say?"

I paused. "I... What?"

"Before... You said I was smart. And nice... And... What else?"

It sounded like he was trying to get me to confess something, and quite honestly I couldn't tell if it was for humiliation or amusement or clarification purposes. I mean, it was probably safe to assume he wouldn't go out of his way to humiliate me, but... it still made me nervous.

"I—I didn't... I..."

"Y/N... Tell me?"

I'd been cornered. Quite literally, too, as my lower back hit the edge of the table. My hands shook anxiously at my sides as I contemplated what to say. The truth? Embarrassing for me. A lie? I was no good at telling lies, and I'd still end up embarrassed, because he'd be able to tell.

So, after a very long silence in which he waited on me to answer, I blurted out, as quietly as possible, "Cute."

The word sounded juvenile coming from my mouth. Right now, standing under Dr. Reid's intense scrutiny, it didn't even feel like the right word to describe him. Not that it wasn't true... But it just wasn't an elegant enough descriptor for him.

And that alone probably proved just how different we were. How out of my league he was...

"That's what I thought you were going to say," he mused, slightly breaking me out of my self-deprecation.

I would have asked him something then, anything to keep myself from looking like even more of a fool with a childish schoolgirl crush, but all words escaped me entirely. All I could do was look up at him, slowly growing warm under the intensity of his eyes and praying he wouldn't think of me as silly.

Though, it wouldn't have mattered, because he kept talking anyway, his body taking up even more space around me as his arms came around to well and truly trap me against the table.

"You're right, you know... I'm almost completely healed, and pretty soon I think I won't need an assistant anymore."

I was scared that maybe I was wrong before, and he'd actually humiliate me now, though the look in his eyes suggested otherwise. I wasn't sure what to make of all of it. SO I just stood there, trying to breath steadily as Spencer studied my face.

"And I meant it... That makes me sad. You know why?"

I shook my head, afraid to make a sound.

His head dipped lower, close enough that I could feel his breath on my mouth as he spoke. "I probably won't get to see you every day."

"Y—you want to see me?" I couldn't help but ask.

He scanned my eyes, amusement and something else lingering there as he did. "Yes."

And then he kissed me.

It was a short distance, but it felt like we went far. And I hadn't even registered that I whimpered into his mouth until he returned it with a low groan that boiled my insides and absolutely melted me. I was helpless against him as he pressed himself further against me and used his hands to keep my back steady.

The whole time my mind was swimming with dizziness. It felt like my body was covered in butterflies from head to toe, particularly strong where his hands pressed into me and his cane rested firmly along the inside of my thigh.

I leaned forward when he pulled away, because I was afraid that he was saying goodbye. But one of his hands came up to my face and my eyes fluttered open, immediately taking notice of how messy his hair was now that I'd had my fingers in it.

I must have looked scared, because suddenly his eyes changed, and he removed his hands away from me altogether, putting distance in between us. "I—I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kissed you without asking..."

The relief that rushed through my body must have gotten to my head, because I breathed out a demand I'd never have had the courage to get out before.

"Do it again."

One second I was staring at him, admittedly afraid that he'd regretted all of it, and the next I was seeing stars as he came forward and kissed me again. His hands cradled my face as he did so, coming on to me with gentle care while still maintaining that hunger that surprised and excited me.

I hadn't realized how much I missed his touch until he'd given it back to me, my body once again melting into him and allowing him to do whatever it is that pleased him.

Apparently that was lifting my leg off the ground and making me sit on the table.

My body went along with it easily, and I was glad for it because my brain was nothing but mush, unable to process fully how he'd decided that I was worth kissing. All I really knew was that I wanted him. Anything he wanted from me, I was willing to give. And that must have come across very clearly, because when he pulled away and spoke to me, I whimpered at his words.

"Y/N... You've been such a good girl, helping me with whatever I needed these past few months..." Meanwhile his hand danced along the hem of my skirt, the tiny brushes of his skin against mine sending me into a mess of shivers.

"I think it's about time I've thanked you for all your help, don't you think?"

The implications in his tone made me whine again, and I pressed my forehead into his, our noses brushing as I answered. "Please."

I was so taken by the way he groaned as his lips connected with mine once more that I almost didn't realize that his hand was now fully up my skirt, his fingers drawing gentle lines over my panties and practically making me melt again. His hungry kisses contradicted the softness he took to my clothed cunt, a fact that warmed me to my core and made me want him more than ever.

When he slipped the fabric aside and ran the pad of his finger through me, I whined hard against his mouth, something that must have excited him— He nipped at my bottom lip and took a deep breath.

"How long have you wanted this, Princess?"

If not for the kissing and the finger slowly sliding up through my arousal, the nickname would have done me in. By now I was an utter wreck, but I somehow still managed to answer, even through a little stammering. "F—Forever."

It was the best I could come up with.

He breathed a laugh as his finger circled my clit. "That's a long time..."

"Uh huh," was all I could manage in response. My body and my brain were too focused on the things his finger was doing to my body, involuntarily rolling my hips forward for more. I needed more.

Thankfully he picked up on my urgency and reciprocated with slipping his middle finger inside me, one knuckle, then two...

I cried out as my head lurched forward, connecting our mouths once again. My hands clutched around his neck and my fingers tugged at his hair to keep myself from falling, because the slow, searing pace at which he fingered me made me wonder how I'd still been able to breathe.

He added another finger soon enough, picking up the pace and rendering me practically useless in his embrace. Meanwhile I registered the sound of his own little whines, still deeper than mine but little enough to tip me off that he was enjoying this just as much as I was, and that alone helped get me further along in pleasure.

I pulled my mouth from his reluctantly, squeezing my eyes shut as I allowed my forehead to rest against his. "D—Doctor, I'm c... I'm so close."

"His honorific falling breathlessly from my mouth seemed to do something sinister to him, because his fingers sped up and his breathing got heavier.

"Yeah? You gonna come for me, Princess?"

My stomach tightened and I nodded as best as I could, relishing in the sounds coming from below us, wet and downright filthy.

"Go ahead...Be a good girl and come for me... You deserve it..."

Each little sentence was punctuated with a slightly faster pace, each one bringing me closer and closer until I squeaked into his mouth and shook violently around his fingers, my vision going white. My legs had been open wide since he'd started teasing under my skirt, but now they threatened to clamp shut from the intensity. But I wanted nothing more than to be good for him, to make this as easy as possible, so I held out and kept them open as wide as I could stand as my orgasm rocked through me.

Spencer whispered praises into my skin as his hand slowed and his mouth trailed down to my neck. And even though it was more than nice feeling him lick and bite over my skin, I felt rather sad when he removed his fingers from me.

That sadness didn't last long though, not when he pulled back and studied me for a moment, eyes lust-blown and purely ravenous before he brought his glistening fingers up to my mouth.

I didn't even have to think. I brought my tongue out and let him slip his fingers over it, closing my mouth around them and sighing as I sucked them clean. This only seemed to excite him more, his features displaying all sorts of desperation until he couldn't take it anymore.

He kissed me again, bringing both his hands to rest at my waist. And with his hands so low I wondered if maybe he'd take to ridding himself of his own pants, but it never happened. Rather, he pulled away after minutes of more kissing, and sighed quite sadly as his upper body pressed firmly into mine.

Something else pressed firmly against me as well—right along the inside of my thigh—and I gasped, mind running wild through all the possible outcomes of the night.

But Spencer only stood there, occasionally nudging his nose against mine while his hands gently kneaded my sides.

"D—Do you want to stop?" I asked softly, afraid he'd regret what we did.

He proved me wrong. "God, no... It's... It's just that I'm still not cleared enough for any... strenuous activity on my leg, and I don't..."

I didn't want to push him, obviously, but I thought I could make the mood a little lighter. "O—Oh, well on the bright side... I could stay your assistant for a while longer."

The laugh that rumbled in his throat made me smile, though from the way he stood there, I knew he wouldn't risk it.

"Um... Raincheck?" he whispered.

On the one hand, that meant he definitely wanted to see me again, and I was more than happy with that. But also, that meant our fun for the night was done...

Yet... Maybe not...

"Sure," I answered, pecking his lips once more. Then I brought my hand to his chest and slid it down until I reached his belt, and I leaned back to look him in the eye, a boldness I never imagined coming from me in a million years.

"But I can still help you..."

I watched the desperation and disappointment in his features slowly dissolve into a newfound hunger—and an amusement—that grew my confidence tenfold.

"Oh?" Spencer mused. "How do you suppose you can help me this time?"

He wanted me to say it. So, without second guessing myself anymore, I grazed my finger over his erection. "I'm very good with my mouth, Dr. Reid."

He grabbed me by the hand then, dragging me along to the chair I'd kicked back before and sat himself down, one of his hands still gripping the cane. Matched with the desire in his eyes and the swollenness of his lips and the tousled strands of his hair, the sight was truly something to behold. It was something that only ever existed in my dreams, nd now it was real.

Not wanting to waste any time, I sunk to my knees and nestled myself in between his legs. He reached out and caressed my cheek before lifting my chin with his middle finger.

"You like being my good little helper?" he drawled.

I tried to nod, but he clicked his tongue and held my chin in place. "Words, Princess."

"Yes. I—I'd do anything you asked. Anything you want, it's yours..."

He hummed then, removing his hand from my face and moving to undo his belt swiftly with only one hand. The action, the sound, everything... it was enough to make me wet again, and I subtly ground down onto the heel of my foot as I watched him pull himself free from the confines of his pants.

I didn't have time to marvel at him before I was drawn forward like a magnet, my hands crawling up his legs and my eyes batting up at him, ready and eager to please him however he wanted.

"Eager, are we?" he mused once more, gently stroking himself with his hand.

"Yes, Doctor," I breathed, inching closer and kissing the outside of his hand.

His movement stopped then, and it didn't take longer than a second for him to decide to let me work on my own.

"Then have at it, Princess..."

I started by kissing my way up the length of him, taking my time to gauge his reactions as I did so, occasionally darting my tongue out to taste him. Once I reached the tip, I sucked on it gently, using my tongue to swirl around it until I could taste the saltiness of his precum.

And then I started taking him slowly into my mouth, watching above me as Spencer's eyes started to shut, obviously debating whether or not to lay back and enjoy this or watch me intently.

Either way, I was more than happy to keep it up, finally getting him to the back of my throat. I flexed my tongue and held him there as long as I could, promptly gagging over him and blinking tears from my eyes as he let out a loudest sound I'd heard from him yet. His head flew back and his tongue quivered along his bottom lip as he cursed my name.

The act made me proud, so I retreated for air, sucked at his tip again for a few seconds, and then repeated it, taking him down my throat again and watching through teary eyes as he visibly swallowed and squeezed his eyes shut.

"Fuck, Y/N, you're so... Such a good fucking girl..."

The praise caused my insides to burn hot, and I ground down onto my heel again, lifting my mouth to start bobbing up and down.

His eyes opened then, and he looked down at me, using his hand to brush stray hair from my face and the other to grip onto his cane for dear life. I looked up at him the whole time, making sure to convey through not only my actions but also my eyes that I loved this. I thrived off of his praise, I enjoyed the feel of his dick gliding over my tongue and hitting the back of my throat, and I longed to feel him coat the inside of my mouth with his release.

I was so entirely into him in every capacity, it wasn't even funny.

I was so glad he could tell, a smile grazing his features as his hand gently gripped some of my hair. "So eager to please, Princess... And so fucking good at delivering..."

I whined onto his dick as he held me down, rendering me immobile. The only thing I could do was look up at him and choke, and of course, I was more than happy to do it. In turn, I was met with a deep groan and a tug of the hair.

"Hold it, hold it... Atta girl..."

My cunt throbbed at his words, and my throat continued to burn, tears falling down my face at ten-speed until finally, he let up and pulled me off of him.

I coughed a little and blinked away tears as I caught my breath, Spencer's fingers combing hair from my face as he smiled proudly.

He didn't even need to say anything then. I wanted to give him more. So I leaned down again and took him in my mouth, quickly making work of his tip while my hand came up and stroked the rest of him.

"Fuck, Princess, just like that... Make me come just like that..."

Rather than just continuing, I offered him a high whine and a wide gaze, hoping to exceed expectations.

I guess it worked, because he came right then, his dick pulsing over my tongue and in my hand as his warm release shot down my throat and over my tongue. I hummed around him, fluttering my eyes closed at the taste and the feeling, probably enjoying the fact that I'd done this to him more than I should have.

It was worth it to see the look on his face, though, after he'd given me all he had and I purposely spit some of it out onto the tip of his dick so I could lick it up and give him just a little more stimulation after the fact. His mouth hung open, eyes heavy and unwilling to leave me, even as I finished and sat back to wipe the tears and saliva from my face with a satisfied smile.

Though, the longer he looked at me, the more shy I became. Funny when I'd just had his dick down my throat, but I'd never been good with people staring at me for long periods of time.

"Was that... Was that okay?" I asked, suddenly worried I hadn't done something to his standards. "I know I don't do this a lot, so I'm sorry if it wasn't that g—"

"Y/N..."

I blinked up at him, still on my knees and unwilling to move. Not that I wanted to, but I couldn't even if I had.

"That was fucking perfect... I meant it, you're... so good."

I knew he was capable of better words, but after having the life sucked out of you, I could imagine 'better words' were hard to come by. Still, I laughed a little, playing with the hem of my skirt. "Good. I'm... glad I could help."

He smiled at me, readjusting his pants and then moving to help me off the ground.

"Hey, uh... Even when you go back to your regular job after I get better, I... I hope you know you're always welcome to come visit me if we're not busy."

The words warmed me in a different way, my heart swelling as well. "You... You mean that?"

Spencer nodded, grabbing my hand and dragging his thumb over my wrist. "Of course. I mean, you're more than just a good helper, you know. You're also kind, and smart, and cute..."

I laughed at his emphasis on cute, heat warming my face. "Ha-ha..."

"I really mean it, though," he said softly, removing his hand from mind and bringing it up to lift my chin, so I'd meet his eyes. They were swimming with sincerity, the epitome of warmth and comfort and kindness— the kind that always drew me to him in the first place. "And... If you'd want to maybe ditch the paperwork one day and grab a coffee or something, maybe—"

"Yes," I interrupted without thinking. My heartbeat picked up upon seeing the look in his eyes when I agreed, a mixture of amusement and relief. "Y—Yes, I'd love to."

"Good. Then it's a date?"

"Definitely."

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