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moesartblog · 1 year ago

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I'm still a sucker for fedvi all these years later. What's your AU about? It looks interesting

It's kinda funny to come across other people who liked fedvi bc it was already such a niche thing even at its height lol.

But also thank you for letting me open pandoras box on my silly au. The biggest departure from the source material is probably just that it was only Giovanni who was executed, and the focus for the "story" is how his death has rippling effects across the family, and how they learn to live beyond his death.

This is gonna be so fucking long so im sorry in advance. I'm supposed to be doing an exam right now lol

Maria who is grieving, and also having to take care of her 4 children on her own now, learning to lean on other people for help with this. I also had this idea for a convo between her, and vieri (after he killed his father) where she's trying to make sense of Giovanni's death, and vieri, while not on any good terms with the family, doesnt think Giovanni should have been killed in the way he was cus it just caused problems all across the board. I also wanted to let her old personality creep back in, cus she was so fun before the execution in the game. I'm also debating if I want an element of being worried about her kids getting so involved with the assassin stuff or not. I'm leaning towards not but idk.

Federico, who I feel like to some degree didn't want to feel a lot of responsibility as an oldest sibling, suddenly has to take up the mantle, his siblings are looking to him for some stability since he seemed so unbothered about things in the past (at least on the surface). Him and Ezio start to butt heads more, especially over rescuing vieri during a mission to kill francesco, only to find him already dead. Federico is trying to hold every string in the family together so they dont fall apart. His goal is to kinda re-find that relaxed feeling he had before. Still with responsibility, but with a balance of relaxation, and, again, leaning on other people to help.

Ezio was the one who did see his father killed first-hand. He becomes a lot more aggressive, and throws himself pretty immediately into the assassin stuff. I see his personality pretty similar to the game (AC2), where he's looking for revenge for his father, and it's taking a toll on his family relationships. He kinda grows the way he does in the games, but a little faster, where he learns the most important thing is appreciating who is here now.

Caludia i wanna develop more, but her thing is based on her situation in AC brotherhood, where she wants to be an assassin too. Federico, and Mario are on board, but Ezio is adamant about her not doing stuff like that. He's still viewing her as the sad little sister who had her heart broken, and doesn't want to see her hurt, but doesnt understand that she is as capable as any of them. She still needs training but she has all the potential the ezio or federico had at her age. She wants to establish herself more and help her family.

Petruccio is still somewhat young, and has a hard time trying to process all the sudden major life changes. His chronic illness keeps him doing any intense physical training, but he's not super interested in that aspect anyway. He's usually hanging out with his mother, but then he starts to observe Leonardo more and more, and leo starts mentoring him on various things like deciphering things and engineering. It works a lot better with managing his illness, and the topics are more engaging to him.

vieri i decided to do a kinda overhaul on his character (the original character is fun to hate and entertaining but I wanted to go a different direction with his character. also even back in the day, tangent, but I hated the brotherhood flashback with him where they made him basically a rapist in order to make ezios stalking seem less creepy than it was. I HATED the writing of that jesus christ.) He's still fairly arrogant when around his father, and still spends his dads money loosely. but he starts to question his fathers ideas for their family within the templars, and he gets retaliation from his father every time. after giovannis death, he has a deep moment of my father was wrong fer helping set it up that way. giovanni needed to die, but doing it so publicly made a lot of issues for the Pazzi house afterwards. So a fight starts and he kills francesco, and after is found by federico and ezio because of Viola, who were coming to kill francesco themselves. He's taken back and treated at the Villa Auditore, much to Ezio's chagrin. Vieri is kinda stuck in his enemies home and so he's irritable, and vulnerable, but it's an opportunity for better understanding between the two families. vieri is more contemplative now that his father isnt present to influence him. Eventually he decides to become an assassin. He has some chronic pain issues from his injuries.

Viola, i only have a bit at the moment, but she's always been kinda disobedient of her father. Their mother is not in the picture. She doesnt like her father, and butts heads with vieri because of that, but vieri and viola still love each other deep down. Vieri looked down on her for not trying to further the Pazzi house. She saved vieris life after he killed their father, and flagged down federico and ezio to take them back to the villa. beyond that ill have to think of stuff.

cristina i havent posted much but I have this whole thing. Her and ezio had a brief tryst, but i view her as a lesbian, and I think she just realized the sex and romance weren't doing anything for her. She still loves Ezio, just as a very close friend. She wanted to escape her fate of being married off, and so she asks ezio to help her become basically nobody, to pursue the life she wants. In an assassin trip to Venice, cristina comes along and meets Rosa and is almost immediately smitten.

Rosa I made into an intensely butch bisexual lol. She becomes friends with Ezio, and hooks up with him occasionally. He introduces her to cristina, and their energies match up really well and they become an item pretty quickly. I want to develop this relationship more bc this was something i was shipping while i was shipping fedvi but no one else really had any connection to it so i hardly posted it lol.

some last random notes:

-Ezio is still sleeping around, just also with men now. He's hooked up with cristina, leonardo, caterina, rosa, antonio, etc etc

-Rosa and federico become good friends and its a lot of teasing ezio

-Rosa flirts with Maria a lot, and it makes ezio panicky

-i definitely am going to revisit fedvi lol

-uhhh paola and maria occasionally sleep together, arguably in a relationship

That was so fucking long thank you for asking though! i needed to barf all this out

#assassins creed #long post #tagging in case ppl wanna block this post.

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fbfh · 2 years ago

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dad!Robert and sister!Sophia Quinn + Quinn!reader hcs - the fosters

wc: 1.5k

pairing: dad!robert quinn + sister!sophia quinn + quinn!reader

warnings: vague allusions to reader having a rough life before living with the quinns, sophia has bpd, robert and sophia both adore you, jill hates you, sibling shenanegins with sophia, robert is trying to be a good dad, brief mention of playing just dance while your parents divorce, I think that's it??

genre: familial fluff with hints of crack and angst

a/n: hey girl I'm hyperfixating on the fosters again! daily reminder that you're faves live in disbelief of how loveable you are! as with the previous fosters hcs if you don't know why you were tagged its bc of the domestic/found family trope!!

@youkissedareaderinthedark @girlfriendwhoseawitch @mrscarolscaramoucheplease

Okay assuming you have a backstory somewhat similar to Callie's

Meaning you didn't know your dad was actually Robert Quinn until recently and through a variety of circumstances he's fighting for custody of you

It's going to be…… interesting

Honestly Sophia is messy enough for her own tlc show

And Robert is so desperate to make up for lost time and be worlds best dad

And Jill?????? Jill detests you

So there's obviously going to be some silly antics

Shenanigans if you will

When Robert first sees you he has to try so hard not to cry

You look so much like your mom, the love of his life

She really was the one that got away

He feels like he has a piece of her back now

And he is so determined to be there for you now

He’s not letting you slip through his fingers again

You now have more emotional and financial support than you ever did before

Once you’re comfortable enough for it to not be weird he will absolutely give you a credit card for literally whatever you want

One of his love languages is gift giving so when he sees you and Sophia going on shopping sprees together

When he gets texts from you asking if you can get something you want or food or something

Even though he’s reassured you a million times you don’t have to ask

He gets so happy

He’s so happy to know he can take care of you and provide for you now

He wishes so badly he could have been doing it from the start

But he’s just glad he found out as soon as he did instead of another ten years later

Also if there’s anything you ever wanted to do and didn’t have the money or opportunity to

Surprise

Robert has already signed you up for figure skating and ballet and your violin will be arriving at the end of this week

He just loves spending time with you and Sophia

He loves spending time with both his kids

It makes him happier than he ever thought he could be

And oh my god Sophia??????

She always wanted a sibling

And now she has one

And it’s literally the fucking coolest person in the world?????

She is so desperate to be just like you

For you to think she’s cool too

She wants to be like super mega close sibling bffs with you

She wants to have sleepovers and share secrets

She doesn’t really realize that that requires a lot of work and time to achieve and you can’t really jump straight there with enough enthusiasm

You might need to be a little patient with her and set some boundaries

But she’s just really excited to finally have a sibling yk

Roberts parents (and probably Jill) will accuse him of being a little obsessed with you

But he’s just trying to make up for lost time yk

Sophia however actually is a little obsessed with you

They all but explicitly stated she has bpd

You can probably tell pretty soon that she’s a little mentally ill right off the bat

Like you’re not really one to miss red flags yk

One good thing about how much they both care about you and how much influence you have in your new family is that if you tell Robert you’re worried about Sophia

He will take that totally seriously

Even if Jill doesn’t or thinks he’s overreacting or Sophia is being dramatic

Robert will start watching her a little more closely and realize you’re right

He’ll get her into therapy so she can get help before things get worse

He’ll get you in therapy too if you want/need it

That’s one of those moments that really solidifies in his mind that you’re meant to be part of their family

His kids looking out for each other yk

Also once her she starts getting better and some of that obsession burns away

You’ll be able to have a really great relationship with her

It’s so fucking hard for her to not copy everything you do

Like once you move in she wants to decorate her room like yours

She always wants to borrow your clothes and copy your style

She thinks whatever you like to do is absolutely the elite hobby/extracurricular

And oh my god if you like horses too????

Her two favorite things have just combined

Robert would absolutely get you a horse so you two can go riding together

She brags to all her friends at Archfield about how fucking cool you are

Eventually you end up getting to have all the classic sibling experiences you didn't have with each other

Late night talks about life and mental illness and existentialism

"Can I borrow your top" "No" "Please :(" "Fine"

Basement just dance battles to the death while Robert and Jill are divorcing upstairs

You show up to all each others events and hype the hell out of each other

Your texts are half just sending each other tiktoks

"You" "dad" "dad and Jill" "us" "your horse"

She sends you a lot of astrology memes and incorrect quotes of your signs

She gets so excited whenever you consult her about your personal life

You send her a screenshot of texts asking if it passes the vibe check

It does not

She loves talking mad shit with you

About people from your schools and extracurriculars

Sometimes about Jill

Robert is trying to make it work with her

He really is

But she fucking hates you

She refuses to even give you a chance

And you know he's never going to pick anyone over his kids

Especially not after everything yall have been through

You and Sophia both sort of know it's a matter of time at this point

Jill is one of those handful of almond moms who will antagonize you for almost anything

You can't even swear around Jill bc she doesn't like it

She won't even let Sophia say oh my god

So whenever you swear around Robert and Sophia it's like a little inside joke

Even when you let out a long string of substitute swear words when Jill is there they still find it hilarious

Because they know what you'd be saying if she weren't there

"Butt…muncher on a pogo stick!"

They find it hilarious

Jill is not amused

Sometimes Sophia looks up your old neighborhood on Google maps and imagines what your childhood was like

What it would have been like if you were raised together

There are tons of trees she imagines you'd climb together, sidewalks to ride your bikes on, places to play hide and seek

Sometimes Robert looks at your old neighborhood and has to try not to cry

His baby was that close this whole time and he had no idea??

They're both just really glad they have you now

That you have each other

Also your birthday????

It's practically a national holiday

Sophia bases half her gift planning on your birth chart and the other half on every piece of information she's retained about you

Robert is lowkey celebrating the whole month

He feels like he has a lot to make up for and he's not going to let this day be anything less than spectacular

God help you if it's your sweet 16

He is going to to so fucking ham people are still talking about it years later

Sophia gets so fucking excited if your birthdays are close together

Like so fucking excited

She has a little count down on her phone to "quinn siblings birthday season"

It becomes a tradition for each of you to team up with Robert to plan the other one's birthday

Instead of the standard birthday parties Jill would throw and invite half of Sophia's class

And a bunch of adults to network with

This year you and Robert surprise her with a day full of horseback riding and shopping and devil's food cake and all her other favorite things

And a Fiona apple concert over the weekend

If this is what birthdays are supposed to be like she thinks she's been missing out

And for your birthday?????

They plan a whole week full of surprises

Sophia's been making careful mental notes of all the stuff you want to do and go see

Suffice it to say it's the best birthday you could have wished for

For Robert's birthday you and Sophia plan to surprise him with a bunch of crafts and handmade presents he probably would have gotten from both of you if you'd found each other sooner

You make craft paper turkeys and macaroni necklaces and casts of your hand prints

You buy white ties and color them in with paint markers

You even mark your heights on the doorway of his office

He cries so fucking hard

He loves it

He loves his kids

It's the second best present he's ever gotten

The first will always be you and Sophia

#the fosters #the fosters x reader #the fosters headcanons #robert quinn #sophia quinn #literally no idea what else to tag this lmao

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evandore · 3 days ago

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finally starting on christmas presents lol i need to do my brothers + his boyfriends first bc theyre spending christmas states away and now theyre leaving earlierrrrr then originally planned so i gotta do that ... im doing three things for both + stocking but thats a later thing to worry abt cause i got no materials lol

the idea is theyre both gonna get a plush doll (BIL wanted to comission me for a character from a movie but id feel badddd taking money when im still a novice lol plus its easy and i think i have like all the materials i need already / my brother is getting a monkey plush with maybe a spiderman tshirt. he did ask for smrh adventure time but ill save that for his birthday probably) and then matching decorated lighters and then one sort of specific thing

for BIL when i was showing him my room he said he liked lamps and collected some cool ones so i think im going to do like. make a lamp but use a bottle i dont know if that makes sense but see my vision. i have a bunch of bottles and i can get some fairy lights for cheap idk TO BE PLANNED !!!

but for my brother i have a cd case that holds i think 8 cds and he did ask about burning cds of his favorite band but i never did it so now im going to do it when he got a new car that doesnt have a cd player LOLLLLL

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troglobite · 7 days ago

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ljalkdjf

"i figured you were mad at me abt the covid thing and didn't want to talk to me."

no, i was just leaving you alone bc i figured you wouldn't want to waste time talking to me abt what was going on.

"no"

meanwhile later

"of COURSE i don't want to talk abt this! and i was BUSY and COMPLETELY overwhelmed there!"

you can just stop spending any money on me

"who said anything abt money?"

meanwhile later

"actually you CAN help me, pay for grama's bills"

[she has already kept $700 that i earned and never got to have in my bank account for even a second]

[i transfer several hundred more, tell her this, and she still hasn't acknowledged it]

it explicitly used to be that you looked fwd to coming home and spending time w me, or you at least missed me.

"don't take it personally i don't look forward to anything anymore at all. i don't look forward to spending time with anyone."

meanwhile earlier

"i didn't get to see ANY of my friends that live in the area!"

and

"i had already talked to [friend], [other friend], [other friend], so there was no one left to talk to." [has not listed me as an option] "so i ended up calling [friend/coworker] and we talked for 5 hours."

also in previous iterations it really used to be

[tries to call or have a full conversation almost every day]

[during every conversation] "i miss you. i wish i could be home."

---

i'm sorry. i just want to help but all i do is make everything worse. i'm just a burden, and i'm sorry.

"[sighs angrily] you're not a burden."

meanwhile

"i'm just trying to make everyone happy. idgaf abt the holidays, and i don't look fwd to spending time w you or anyone. it doesn't matter, i don't care abt any of it."

so i'm just another list on your giant weight of obligations

"don't take it personally"

i don't have anyone to hang out with or talk to. [talking online eventually feels like talking w AI, and i start to lose my mind] my irl friends keep bailing on me. i've literally been completely isolated for about a month now.

"sorry."

meanwhile

"[lists abt 10 friends she has that she made time to talk to over the last few weeks, but not me] and i didn't even get to see any of the TONS of friends i have in the city bc i was so busy! and i can't leave this kid alone/without me [this kid is being fostered by my brother and his fiancee]"

ETA: i guess she's mad at me abt the money thing. she's sent me 2 emails now.

one to say the covid test was negative, that contained barely 5 words

and one with no words, asking me to send what meals i want from meal delivery service.

just won't choose anything. waste of money on me, as established.

i wish there was anything i could do that wouldn't make her angry at me but idk what it is.

i guess if i could stop being mentally ill and disabled and move out, that would probably make her happy and not angry. but i'm a pathetic piece of shit and that's not possible. dying would just be another mess she'd have to worry abt. so legitimately idk what my options are. i've tried being a better person and going to therapy and working on communication. it just seems to make her angry. not even in any meaningful way, she just doesn't care abt me or think i'm worth the time or words. i've tried to get better at things but she doesn't want to let me on some stuff that i can do, but expects me to do everything on stuff that i can't. all i do is disappoint her. i just make everything worse. and she never refutes that. it's just true.

she can't even muster "i don't hate or resent you." or "it's not your fault or responsibility."

bc she does and it is.

no matter what i do to try and be better i just always fuck it up somehow. i'm sorry.

can't even give her money correctly. i guess my email sounded like guilt tripping or anger or something. didn't mean it to, and it's not/wasn't. but doesn't matter. she'll assume how i feel instead of asking and then hate me for it bc i'm bad at explaining how i feel. and she hates hearing me try to explain it. just another waste of time. another burden or obligation.

i have to call allergist's office today. i'm sure she has the phone. i don't wanna bother her.

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chronicsymptomsyndrome · 9 months ago

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how do you make money with untreated adhd chronic pain chronic fatigue and chronic illness??? What the fuck do I do??? I officially do not have a working washer/dryer as of today and I do not have it in me to hand wash everything and I don’t have the space to line dry that much anyway and when I say I cannot afford a new washer/dryer I don’t mean “I have access money but I’m in debt so it’s not even really my money” or “oh no they’re so expensive I don’t want to use most of what I have on this one thing even though I really need it” like the kind of shit people usually mean when they say they can’t afford something (which pisses me off ngl) I don’t mean I can’t justify the purchase or that it would be irresponsible or that it’s not in my budget I mean “I quite literally do not have the funds to acquire any quality of washer and dryer period. I do not have an income or access to any money.” and honestly if I did I wouldn’t even know how to spend it because I also do not have hot water and also the people that lived where I live before me did not seal the floors so our floors are fucking soggy when it rains which is constantly and also my house is still mostly unfurnished after living here four years. so do I want furniture or hot water or dry floors or clean clothes??? How do I prioritize those kinds of things?? I mean I don’t have to bc I can’t have any of them but in theory?? Instead of making money all I can do is five minutes of dishes at a time (oh a dishwasher would be cool too) and then sit around and ice whatever hurts most and feel guilty for not being more grateful and not trying harder and not getting over my stupid ridiculous fears and going to see a fucking doctor already. ???? I can’t even ask for help bc how would anyone possibly help me other than literally just money??? My dad is the only one that would even consider it which I’m extremely grateful for but then there’s my stepmom who is In Charge and will be like “we’re here for anything you need” and then travel internationally twice a year and remodel their whole already very nice (to me) house and then go “of course we’re happy to help although we are on a budget so we’ll do what we can” and then hand me a 20 :) and I feel absolutely atrocious for not being more grateful that I have parents that will even give me $20 or that I have my parents in my life at all or that I can worry about all of these home things because I have a home, instead of being in the position of actually worrying about a place to stay. It sounds so shitty because I have so much to be grateful for I know but it’s hard to be grateful when it doesn’t feel like you have anything because if you had what you needed wouldn’t you be happier? It’s hard to feel grateful when you’re fucking miserable and every moment of your day-to-day is a huge stress trigger and there is no safe space. I’m so fucking tired mentally and emotionally.

#rants & reflections #delete later #executive dysfunction #traumagenic

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thegradus2 · 8 months ago

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Well if you want me to keep going outside of tags ill gladly obige bc boy do i have so many THOUGHTS. These bitches are gonna be stuck on a space ship together for however long theres so much that can happen like for example:

- idk the character from miracle nikki obvs but what youve laid down is already so interesting bc im just imagining these 2 otherworldy beings (even if theyre human theyre still otherworldly ig xD) explaining what the deal is and suddenly the Trash Nobel cale henituse pipes asking actually useful questions like “is the culture different than ours?” And “do they speak the same language as us or do we have to learn a new one?”

- cale is mia for like three days, making the henituse worry frantically, before he shows up with aforementioned documents, books, pie-charts, graphs etc etc on the population, culture, language, etc. cale thinks its the most normal thing in the world and he tries to lock himself in his assigned room to work on it further. He is very surprised to find people not avoiding his existence

- eric is tasked with finding out what the fuck. Cale is like “its very simple really” and then rants for about 2 hours about how to do population analysis and what hes found earth is like “i mean i managed to do it when i was 8, its just that now im doing it based off actual numbers instead of novels and gossip” “what do you mean. Cale henituse, WHAT DO YOU MEAN.”

- alongside with finding a bunch of music, cale finds out abt earth fashion after a week and he tries out a different of clothing style every day: rocker chique, old money, new money, preppy, dark academia etc etc (“cale what… what are you wearing” “on earth they call this fashion aestheric ‘bratzcore’ and its very ‘trendy’. Apparently they show a lot more skin in south korea than in roan.”)

- cale likes carly rae jepsen

- i think the trash cale suddenly mellowing out and actually being friendly with the new people would freak people out. Lily takes it as a chance for her to get closer to cale herself, but basen is initially too shy and hes very jealous of aeon and marina. Cale is still under the impression that people dont like him (his trash act was superb after all) so hes very surprised when suddenly his siblings wanna hang out a bunch

- also idk if people can die on this ship but im sure that at some point people would try to kill eachother (cough, venion, cough). Cue murder mystery, cale solving it way too quickly and alver wanting cale to work for him rlly rlly badly (ive made another post sorr of like this but rehashing plots is my specialty LMAO)

- cale finds out about the earth hobby ‘bedrotting’ and is absolutely delighted. Eric and his family are incredibly worried that hes suddenly staying in bed all day and just looking at the ceiling after being active with his earth research for ~2 months. They think he is depressed. He isnt and has everything under control. (Hes totally depressed 💀)

- cale eventually decides to work with alver bc he thinks alver would be the best person to introduce their worlds’ population to the earth population when they arrive. They work on immigration plans together, like planning out housing matters, making korean language courses (especially for all the kids, no matter what class they were originally from), culture courses, actually maybe they just make a whole curriculum for people to distribute and learn. When alver asks how much korean cale knows, cale can already write whole sentences. Alver doesnt know why hes surprised at this point

- maybe some slowburn ogalbecale after they find they work together so well and them spending time together ;0

- Eric: “cale, this is an intervention. You made a whole personality for yourself, and youve insinuated that your alcoholism and anger issues were from a similarly crafted persona. Talk to us!” Cale: “I dont see the problem?? My friend alver over here has been doing the exact same thing so it cant be *that* concerning” Tasha: “…alver, this is an intervention-“

- concensus: YOU IDIOTS YOU CAN JUST BE YOURSELVES STOP TRYING TO ALTER YOURSELVES SO PEOPLE WILL PERCEIVE YOU A DIFFERENT WAY THATS MENTAL ILLNESS BEHAVIOR. ESPECIALLY YOU CALE GOD SO HELP ME…

- i have no idea if this would be bad worldbuilding but idc i had this thought where maybe even tho obvs their status doesnt mean much anymore (at most its just leftover social customs staying in place somewhat) everyone gets their own credit card with rhe amouny of money they had in their og world digitalized. The henituse go from completely neutral to the most powerful family (bc they have the most money). The crossmans also have a lot of money but alver knows his family is gonna have issues w him so hes extra relieved to have connections with cale

Ngl, the Ark of Miracle Nikki sounds like the perfect way to get characters transmigrate from a world to other.

I mean, imagine most people from TBOAH getting suddenly teleported into a massive (techno? magic? fashion inspiration fueled?) flying ship, which can travel through the space-time, because "your world is doomed because of an asshole. We're so sorry. Please feel free to use the facilities and rest until we arrive to your new home".

Besides, I would really like to have og!Cale befriend Aeon and Marina. They would get along, specially having in count that "new world" means their nobility is nothing. He wouldn't need to hide himself and they aren't from his world, so no precoinceived ideas.

Besides, Marina is a kid. Og!Cale would look at this cheerful lively kid and wouldn't be able to hold back his big brother instincts. "She's a lot like Lily when she was a toddler", he probably would think. (Because, yes, I headcanon that og!Cale spent a lot of time with Lily when no one was around and she was still "too young to remember". Lily isn't sure whether she dreamed it all or not)

And imagine Aeon introducing modern music to og!Cale. Og!Cale, who may had learned music when he was a kid (classic noble kid activity), liking many of these various styles of music, all so different from the elegant ones the noble likes and the vivid ones he heard at the streets and bars. Then Marina telling him that Aeon also writes songs, but warning him not to listen them in a way too serious tone (she's such a gremlin).

And between all that you still have the tboah characters aclimatizing to the idea of a new world, fixing relationships, and planning what to do now that their status mean shit (poor royal family. Ha.)

Just a transmigration story where the characters have time to talk with their family and adjust before being send to other world.

Maybe the world they're going to is the Soo's Earth. One that is on its way to recovery, but has way less population than before.

#tcf #just talking dmm #thats all i have atm…

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bleutectic · 7 years ago

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hey yall please send me some asks with things that make you happy, i could really use that rn

#im on my period and its just #hormones and emotions #RAGING THROUGH MY BODY #and i have a headache and im still not fully recovered from my cold #and then theres also the stress of exams next week but i barely have time to study bcmy family is coming over for my bday on sunday oh myGOD #and im supposed to go to scouting tonight bc were talking about camp but im just #i really dont feel like it and i have so much studying to do #and im already worrying about wth ill bring in to work on saturday #idk if this is a thing in other countries but in the netherlands whenever its your bday you bring like a treat to school/work/other things #and everyone at my work always brings in like expensive ass pies from a proper bakery #and i really cant be bothered buying a fucking 12 euro pie bc i feel like ive been spending way too much money lately #and tbh thats just so much money for a pie #so usually i bake something myself but i really dont have time for it with all the examsnext week #and tbh 4th breakdown of the day as im typing this why am i so damn anxious over such a stupid small thing i hate this #i would really like to just take a nap or read a little or take a shower and try not to worry bout work/exams #but i should probably get back to studying yay #nathalie talks

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yatsugareboyf · 3 years ago

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hii could i request chuuya and dazai with a male reader who has like a dramatic and impulsive personality/type of humour? like he impulsively spends money or makes plans, and talks pretty hyperbolically bc he thinks its pretty funny-

im sorry if this didnt make sense sjsjdjd-

heheheheh this is so funny

chuuya and dazai with a dramatic and impulsive male!s/o

nakahara chuuya

good lord why does he keep attracting these types of people /j

like isnt dazai enough

"ah, chuuya! this is the wrong soda! i said orange not grape! i feel like im getting drunk just looking at it"

"bitchass u said royal how would i know which flavour"

"you shouldve known! ah really chuuya do you even know me? your boyfriend?"

yeah. hes sick of you /j

but really he tries to keep with a lot of your impulsive decisions

like you'll be out on a date and you see someone selling his antique wall clock thats duck themed or whatever and what do u know chuuya's carrying it home

hes happy seeing u happy so most of the time he just allows you to do whatever you wanted to do

sometimes when hes not around u just end up buying so much stuff online that u set to overnight shipping

which chuuya ends up paying for bcs he doesnt let you 😭

LIKE HE WONT LET U WASTE UR MONEY SO HE WASTES HIS IDK MAN

"chuuya~ i have my own money yknow"

"yeah but you're not paying for this... what the fuck is this.. "face mask maker"? yeah you're not wasting your money on this i got it"

"but chuuya its not even that expensive"

"dipshit this is 400 dollars"

but he ends up enjoying your impulsive spends bcs u use it on him

"haha chuuya what if i make a wine face mask"

"you're not using my wine. ok but what if-"

WINE FACE MASKS

idk if chuuya or u would eat it-

one time u bought tons of makeup and he witnessed u going through so many styles of makeup in a week-

like the e-girl make up, the colorful makeup, then the rlly emo makeup then natural makeup

u wanted to try it on him but he refused

"but chuuya you'd look so pretty :(("

"you can be the pretty one, im good"

u did end up applying just eyeliner on him and he's fairly impressed

wont ask u to apply it again bcs hes too shy but u know he wants to have it on everyday

abt ur spontaneous plans, he usually stops u 😭

bcs even if u had time to go, he wouldnt and hed rather be there for u when u do go

so whenever you hear that he has a day off or he isn’t on call you’ve already bought tickets to disneyland!

overall i think hes okay with it as long as you’re happy

(ill make a side thing abt bsd boys handling homophobia bcs that shit deserves a separate post)

dazai osamu

i think hes just the same as u, but hes more Willing to pull through with your impulsive antics

while getting to know each other, you learn that dazai loves crab, but only eats the canned kind because he cant afford special crab

that made you sad that you bought so much crab and learned a few recipes under a day

now theres 5 different crab dishes and 10 more crabs in the fridge, and dazai isnt even home yet from work

he comes home to 7 different crab dishes and a very exhausted boyfriend

he loved the dishes.

nonetheless he joins u in your very impulsive travel plans because he has a lot of free time

(he doesn't he just ditches work)

poor kunikida calling dazai bcs they need back up and hes like

"sorry, kunikida-kun! i'm in disneyworld!"

"WHAT"

u also worry him a lot w ur hyperbolic vocabulary

"OSAMU I THINK I BROKE MY LEG"

THEN HE APPROACHES U AND HES LIKE

"OH MY GOD ARE U OKAY"

but u just stubbed ur toe 👍

but hes taking it all seriously and like

"we need to get you to yosano"

"wait- NO"

hes more understanding of why u do what u do so he tends to just follow whatever u wanted to do at the time

"i love u so much, more than the size of the.... the pacific ocean"

"my, that's a lot of love"

PLS U THINK DAZAI WOULD KNOW MORE ABT HANDLING MONEY

he can't. no one trusts u two with money.

kunikida even tries to NOT give y'all's checks bcs that one time u bought big ass bean bag and adressed it to the ada-

ranpo uses it now and fights to death with dazai to nap on it

u buy so many things and sometimes u forget to address it to ur home

like- some packages end up at atsushi's dorm

"kyouka-chan?"

"there's a box outside our dorm for you."

"WHY IS IT AT YOUR DORM?"

"i thought you would know."

and dazai' just amused at how u have everyone's address at ur disposal to use

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anne-i-write · 4 years ago

Text

moriarty the patriot headcannons pt. 1

| requested by anon: Can you write about all male characters in moriarty has a same look of their children and hpw many children they want? |

william x reader; louis x reader; albert x reader; sebastian x reader; fred x reader

word count: 2397

pt. 2: 221b boys

a/n: I DONT KNOW WHY I DIDNT WRITE THIS EARLIER IM SO SORRY THIS REQUEST HAS LITERALLY BEEN IN MY INBOX FOR SO LONG I AM SO SORRY I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS

william: 487 words

with his whole plan to clean the world of the filthy nobles, william never really stopped to think about having children

well, until he met you

you both were in town one day and he saw you fondly watching a child speak with her mother

“i think two children would be nice”

“i didn’t even ask”

“i know, but the look you gave that mother was telling enough”

n e ways he is a simp and he did eventually give you what you wanted

fast forward a few years, you have two children: a boy and a girl

and they look exactly like their father

like,, it lowkey pains you how much they physically take after their father

you wanted to be like “oh they have your personality, but they look just like me!”

granted, your son took after you in an emotional sense but your daughter was a daddy’s girl through and through

like she looks like him, she acts like him, speaks like him, she even EATS like him

ok but the men w your children

fred is a freaking sweetheart ok

like he’ll watch over the kids when no one has the time and they love him too so they’ll help out in the garden which you are SO thankful for

tbh they only like uncle albert bc he brings them lil trinkets from when he gets back from london LMAO

louis doesn’t show it, but he absolutely adores your children and makes extra snacks for them at tea time

you caught onto this at one point bc for some REASON your kids would not stop bouncing off of the walls before bed and they told you uncle louis gave them chocolate

and sebastian loves messing w your kids bc,,, sebastian

but he accidentally made your son cry ONCE and he was at the mercy of every adult in the moriarty estate including the boy’s younger sister

needless to say, he watched his actions and words around your children after that

now, william

i’m just gonna say this straight out: most of the men never really thought about having kids (save john and albert)

but when you finally had kids, william had a different outlook on life

like fr,, this man works overtime now trying to get rid of the filth that is called nobles

he doesn’t want his kids to be raised in a world where just because you have more money than another means you get to look down on them

you still instill in them those good morals ofc

he also tries to be very present in their lives since he and his brother were raised as orphans

when he was younger, he didn’t mind it all much

but now that he had this small family and a brighter future, he did everything in his power to make sure they’re happy and grow up in a cleaner and kinder world

louis: 320 words

it took you a week to get him to at LEAST humor you

“if you could, how many kids do you want?”

“none”

like, this guy is so dedicated to his brother and his cause it is a WONDER you somehow wormed your way into his heart

but you did and honestly, the brothers are actually very happy that you’re with them

william especially

louis rarely emotes but when you came into their lives, you got louis pissed at one point and everyone was like,,,, wtf?? he has emotions???

anyways, his answer is one kid LMAO

and when you get that one kid, he looks just like louis

yall already KNOW that he’s ready to die for that child as soon as louis holds him in his arms

the only kid sebastian wouldnt even try to mess with

he can deal with william’s albert’s or fred’s kids but louis lowkey intimidates him so he’s as nice as he can be

that being said, louis teaches his kid how to properly handle stuff around the house

you want to cry bc ur son is just so??? the little kid just loves helping out no matter how small the task and he’s just so cute it hurts

even sebastian’s kinda like,, “aight he’s the only kid i will tolerate”

louis grew up with only his brothers so he also wants to give his son a shot at a normal family

is actually aware at how he thinks he’s indispensable for william’s cause and he doesn’t want his son to end up like him

he also teaches his son some badass fighting moves

oh and louis smiles a lot more too

cried bc his son saw the scar he got on his cheek, rubbed some dirt on his lil face and said “i have daddy’s cool scar now”

all in all his son is the best thing to happen to all of you

albert: 505 words

same as louis in the fact that it takes him a week to answer

“you know you haven’t even answered my question”

“i’m sorry, what did you say?”

“how many kids do you want?”

genuinely takes time to ponder that question

he hadn’t thought of that since his family adopted william and louis

but with you?

“i think two darling girls who take after their mother is enough for me”

pls he’d be so sweet 🥺🥺🥺

you two end up having a girl and a boy, who look just like their father

and tbh, you’re not even mad

you love them so much so when albert comes back north, the three of you are ecstatic

the happiness was short lived for albert tho

he found his son spending time with william and there’s nothing bad right????

“where’s your sister?”

“she’s with mr. moran”

his heart DROPPED

out of all the people in the manor

HIM

he sees the two running around the garden

it all happened as soon as albert’s daughter went up to sebastian and said “you’re very pretty! you’re my knight now!”

he decided to “adopt” the little girl and now he’s lowkey whipped

you found albert staring at sebastian playing with his daughter and updated him about everything going on

“but him??”

“he’s just a big softie for her let it go”

isn’t really surprised when he finds out they can fight a little

actually glad that they can hold their own, God forbid anything happens to them

otherwise mi6 has to deal w family matters lmao

“albert, she only tripped”

“you shouldve seen the fear in her eyes as she fell”

“IT WAS A STRAY COBBLESTONE”

would raise hell if anyone even THOUGHT ill of his kids

william and louis are the doting uncles

william more so than louis bc your kids have never seen louis smile

now they’re on a mission to make uncle louis smile

louis was on child duty one day and they managed to slip away

omyGOD he was stressed but also,, extremely worried

so when he found them he had the most genuine smile on his face

your daughter was like (・∀・)

she loves uncle louis

ofc your son adores his dad like,,, who else wouldn't feel awesome at the age of 10 if you found out your dad was a high ranking general

feels superior to sebastian bc of his dad

lmao this 4’5 kid thinks he can rule sebastian for some odd reason

the house is always dirty bc him and sebastian always prank each other

your daughter is trying to catch a butterfly but she can’t so fred helps

instantly loves fred

“is that what heartbreak is”

“i guess that’s what happens when you try to get close to my kids colonel”

albert is kind of afraid of turning into his dad but he has you and everyone else to remind him that: no you are not your father, you are so much better than him

loves your family with his entire being

sebastian: 844 words

“i see you looking at those kids and the answer is none”

lmao you’ll get so pouty around him bc you want kids dammit

that and he spoils you to no end so that's why you’re pouty lol

“fine we’ll only do one kid and bc one kid is all i can tolerate”

bruh

this man gives you three in four years LMFAO

two boys a year apart and a girl in the fourth year

you wanted to smack sebastian

when the two boys grew up, it was obvious they were already taking after their father in the physical sense

it was terrifying

they genuinely look like mini sebastians and you know everyone in the manor is afraid that you two birthed satan

and the satan was your eldest one

he’s just a feral sebastian moran in a tiny body

your second son, god bless him, looked just like his father but with fred’s temperament

and see, you were fine with your sons looking like their father

it was FINE right

you prayed to God that your third child would have at least some physical resemblance to you

your daughter was birthed, she grew up

and you cried

“HOW DO THEY ALL LOOK LIKE YOU”

“i’ve got some strong genetics, baby”

you sulk for a lil bit

but you accept it anyway because you love your goddamn kids

thankfully, your second and youngest child are both soft spoken and it's only your husband and his tiny clone bringing hell to earth

smacking sebastian bc all of your children suddenly started swearing up a storm at each other

“WHYD YOU HIT ME”

“YOURE THE ONLY ONE WHO SWEARS AROUND THE KIDS”

finally sitting down and trying to convince them to stop swearing

“father does it!”

“your father’s stupid”

speaking of your daughter

she’s his little princess and no he will not take criticism

spoils her more than he spoils you

did she glance at a toy at a passing store?

he buys more toys than he should from said store

you have to physically hide some of his money bc there is only so much you can buy

and her older brothers are so caring you want to sob

if a person accidentally shoved her over bc she was tiny and they couldn’t see her

oh boy

get ready to restrain them like chihuahuas

“little sister will be protected at all costs”

since his second son is so different from him, sebastian actively makes time to talk about what the little boy is doing and what he’s getting from it

doesn’t want to be pushy and suffocating like his dad was so when his younger kid does want to be left alone to his devices, sebastian does so

but honestly loves that your second son is so literate

lddhsajdsfk what yall dont know is that they’re all in cahoots

kinda funny to see them all together bc they all take after their father so much it's like having three tiny sebastians go around town

anyways,,,, yall know the promised neverland right

you got ray, norman, and emma

granted one of them wasn’t as smart as ray but he definitely knew what stealth was

regular sibling rivalry was still a thing but if they could smell the pudding from the kitchen, they know they have to work together

sebastian caught his eldest smuggling biscuits into a small bag

he had half a mind to scold him

but then he ended up giving tips TO ALL HIS CHILDREN on how not to get caught next time—

bc of this they beg him to tell them some stories from afghanistan bc “there’s no way a man as old as dad knows this many stealth tactics”

louis is so fed up lmao

albert is in london most of the time so he just thanks the lord that he doesn’t have to deal w the propaganda that sebastian feeds his children about how “mr. albert is a bad man”

william is fine w it as long as they don’t trash the library

your younger ones love the library so they would cry at the thought of one of the books losing any of the pages

your second and your daughter are definitely the moriartys’ favorites

they don’t show it, but you just KNOW

your eldest could care less about that though

as long as you and his father still love him

and of course you both do

and fred is definitely your youngers favorite

they like to hang out in the garden

ok they still fight all the time though

just because your second child is soft spoken doesn't mean he’s afraid to throw hands

their sister likes to join in for the hell of it

but if someone wrongs any of the children

just because the younger ones are the moriartys’ favorite, doesn’t mean that they’re not gonna hunt someone down if they even think about trying to hurt the eldest too

yeah,,, good luck to them and their families

they got the entire moriarty estate coming after them

fred: 241 words

cmon yall are like,, young

but you did ask him bc you were curious if he thought about it

he wants one

and when yall do have the kid, you guys actually do have one kid and its a girl

since you both are young, you can immediately see a resemblance between her and her father

everyone who meets her would die for her

ABSOLUTE CUTIE

especially when she walks around the garden w her hand in her dad’s and he’s showing her all the plants and telling her how to take care of them

needless to say she grows up loving plants

any type of plant

the boys love giving her flowers or anything from bc she has the biggest smile every single time

no matter if it’s just a single rose or a rock

this was found out one time when sebastian gave her a rock bc everyone else had given her like,, two roses each

was afraid she was gonna cry

“thank you so much mr. moran! i will treasure this until i get old!”

she was like 4 at the time

and had the widest smile you’ve ever seen on her

guys u don’t understand she smiles a lot but this was like,, genuine happiness

but everyone was just,, i will destroy the world and myself if anything happens to her

fr it’s just sunshines and rainbows every single time she’s around

everyone just loves her ok

moriarty the patriot general taglist: @zoehanji

#moriarty the patriot #moriarty the patriot x reader #yuukoku no moriarty #yuukoku no moriarty x reader #william james moriarty #william moriarty #william james moriarty x reader #william moriarty x reader #louis james moriarty #louis moriarty #louis james moriarty x reader #louis moriarty x reader #albert james moriarty #albert moriarty #albert james moriarty x reader #albert moriarty x reader #sebastian moran #sebastian moran x reader #fred porlock

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the-fandom-is-now-my-life · 4 years ago

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Hc inverse au! Fem Reader in Victorian era England and ynm characters are in our time.

You are a character in an anime and ynm are in real life

Williams

( he seems like the type to be into really dense, historical mangas)

He first read a manga featuring you when one of his students left their copy on their desk and he had to overview some students while they were using the presentation room.

He mostly just sat in the first row while the group of teens were recording hamlet for the theater class.

He didn't really took the story seriously so he started reading a lady who was trying to seduce a noble for a few pages, he was about to leave the manga given that he supposed it was a hentai but when you poisoned them with the wine cup he found it interesting

The main character had a set of very strong ideals that weren't so common in the historical context, be it strip nobles and royals from benefits, be a suffragette, or something similar .He ate the manga in five minutes

When he returns home (and leaves the item in lost objects, ofc) he checks online to buy the first volume to see if the background and sort are interesting along with every other volume and official light novel and Novella . He usually isn't home from very early to very late at night so it would be Louis most likely the one who receives the box with the books

"Brother, did you buy a box full of comics" Louis asks from the kitchen after he feels his older brother returning home

" oh? They already arrived? I thought they would be here next week" well Louis always was worries about how his brother didn't have any hobbies aside from teaching at the University so he was happy that he found something else to do with his life

He would ask for a sick day on a Monday or Friday so he could plan everything that was needed at his class that day and spend the weekend lazing around and reading the various volumes and the light novels. That day Louis and albert almost cried of happiness, that was the first time he took a sick day in all of his teaching years to take a break

The type of fan who creates theories that everything is symbolism, how they are ambidextrous to show that even if they intend good sometimes their methods are too extreme or how their hat was placed or the color of their clothes show their political affiliation. Nothing can be just a coincidence with him, everything means something

Is a big pain in the ass about historical inaccuracies, be it dress, manners or social hierarchy being off

" But listen this is the late Victorian era, where is their crinoline??/ They are supposed to be a Victorian dandy and the writer wants me to believe they would wear that? In that society?" williams turned on the lights to his younger brother room while walking in circles as if he was trying to calm down

" Williams it's 3 am. Please I want to sleep"

" Oh and don't let me get started when they crossdressed/dressed as lady northinburg, that tight lacing scene made me so angry" he was dragging his words, Louis guessed he was sleep drunk " how much I hate that, karolina or bernadette would kill those producers if they saw it" Louis simply opted to sleep while his brother was ranting about how the hairstyles were al wrong

When speaking of merchandising he appreciates his mature and elegant reputation so he would buy small things like cute stationery and notebooks and a few pens. Most of them either are about the main character, you, or have the anime title or something similar

A few students think that the professor brings some childish pens in case some student forgets one and he doesn't have to give them his mechanical pencil. He actually uses those pens when he is grading the exams. His notebook annotations look a lot cleaner and are more colorfully bc of the markers and pens

When and if your manga gets and anime he would be 100 percent bitching about how they skipped, if you are a minor character, scenes where you are introduced or you character gets development.

" Oh my goodness, they skipped to this ark? And 'the mask'? In that ark we get the development of many characters, yn, edward, Amélie, Alex. We are absolutely robed of their backgrounds and aspirations and how they are all connected"

" Brother be honest with yourself, you only wanted more animated yn, you follow their voice actor on twitter"

" That is not my point!"

Albert

he was watching it when he came late

Albert usually keeps company to his youngest brother until around 5-6 pm, then he leaves for work and returns around 12 am and eats dinner alone mostly.

When he returns from his job the house is more often than not totally dark so he makes his way to the kitchen and microwaves the leftovers and eats silently.

But one day it seems like Louis or williams forgot to turn off the TV before going to bed, he was about to turn it off but decided that watching something with the tv muted wouldn't wake his brothers up and kept watching.

He didn't pay much attention to it at the start but it became routine, he comes home, heats the food, sits down and watches that show so he grew quite fond of it

How much attention he pays to it depends on the type of plot it has, if it is light-hearted humor he would most likely not pay much attention but laugh when a joke came, one the other hand, if it's a more serious he would find it hard to take his eyes away from the screen

Second least likely to buy merchandising, if he buys it's mostly to wear home, a one size too big shirt for a pj (mostly for the comedy anime) or, if they aren't childish and look professional maybe a pocket watch like the one x character uses ( in the more serious one)

Won't buy the mangas if there are any because he is happy watching the animated version and already has to read a lot at work, but if he is gifted the volumes he will read them sparingly, maybe he will finish one volume every week and a half, unlike williams.

Louis

He spends most of his time home because of his illness and doesn't like to stress too much given that it makes the symptoms worse, he enjoys light hearted comedies or cooking in the victorian era or those typical time travelers who now have to live in different situations than those they are used to

He most likely found it after doing all the housework and being bored so he opted to browse the TV or netflix and fell on one specific serie

If it is a comedy he will listen to it while cleaning or cooking, he feels like he does everything faster and the housework is more enjoyable that way.

If it's a cooking related program he will watch as entertainment after doing everything and to get ideas what to cook, he is always surprised with the recipes that your character comes up with, be them savory ( things he will absolutely do the next day for lunch or dinner) or sweet ( things he will make more sparingly given he can't have too much sugar). I think of mangas and series like the duchess' 50 te recipes or shokugeki no soma

If it the third option he was interested on the alternatives to modern things, like how to make a more natural soap with animal fat and wood ash, or how to use certain plants to help a headache or stomach bug.

With merchandising he doesn't buy much, some kitchenware and some bowls mugs and maybe a tea set that isn't much of an eyesore. Overall he isn't all that crazy over that kind of things if there is a cooking book he will definitely buy it

He, like albert, doesn't care much about historical accuracy and if the events that happen are cohesive, he is there to have fun

Fred

He watched it because he heard his classmates talk about it and wanted to join them but was too scared to bother them if he didn't know anything. Baby has the social abilities of an anxious lobster

He comes home from college and looks the anime up in his phone and, like every broke college student, he watches it from an illegal streaming service.

He gets hooked up and stays all night watching it until his clock snaps him out of his trance and makes him drag his feet to his 7:30 am class

Fred tries and fails to talk to the group so, after the lesson, he drags himself to his room to be miserable alone. It's not until he reaches a certain chapter or episode where you say something that make him think, " if you wish to be loved you must face first your fear to be known" he keeps thinking about it, he didn't truly ever talk to the group, he cowarded before even trying.

The next week at that same lecture he approaches the group and tries to make some small talk

" Oh hey uhm i heard the past class that you liked (maga name)" he was this close to running to his desk and act as if nothing happened

" Yeah! You like it too?" The boy seemed to notice fred was nervous

" Yes! I really like it, what is you favorite character? Mine is yn" he certainly didn't have any favorite one before but after this he thinks your character is pretty good " they are really inspiring"

In terms of merch he is broke so there is none, If he had any money to spare he would buy notebooks and even those chibi statues or funko pops

#yuumori #yuukoku no moriarty x reader #yuukoku no moriarty #moriarty x reader #albert james moriarty #professor moriarty #moriarty the patriot #mtp #ynm #gn reader #william moriarty #williams james moriarty x reader #louis moriarty

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figula · 3 years ago

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today i still have not been able to shake the mental malaise :| i have not really stopped doomscrolling either bc i feel (as im sure we all feel) this moral obligation to keep abreast of things, but like factually i cant do shit about anything, and i may as well just not bother reading it at all tbh

i might just block twitter + bbc news on my various devices and assume that if i need to be aware of anything specifically (again this is HIGHLY unlikely, given that im in the UK and not close to london or any major cities) ill hear about it somehow lol and just make a serious effort to ignore everything otherwise

in other news, so you all dont have to read about me worrying about nuclear annihilation for like the fourth day in a row, ( ... :-))

we bought our 3d printer! it’s this one - and it should be here in a few days. ben has already threatened to print dnd miniatures, which as a dnd hater i do naturally disapprove of, however he also suggested he might paint them as well which i massively do approve of, being a miniaturist :D so that might be nice, he can use my nice paints and it will be nice to have a similar hobby like that

had to finally reapply for the payment @ site i work for. bit worrying - i think there WILL be a role for me regardless, bc im still having a lot of chats w/ the lawyer baout merch restructuring, however bc this site is pretty flat hierarchically, it takes about 10 years for anything to happen bc we dont really have that one person to take control. which is one of the worst aspects of the organisation to be honest - it’s really wildly frustrating at times anyway i did point out that if they want a more diverse team, as they say they do, they should put their money where their mouth is and keep me paid or i will not be around anymore. i did not make this sound like blackmail or a threat (imo anyway lol) but it is absolutely true - i will not be able to spend much time there at all if not paid, bc i have a job, and i need to focus on things that actually bring in money

ben bought tink a new toy <3 it’s a medium-sized fish with catnip inside, and it makes a crinkling sound if pressed! she doesnt like it as much as the toy ana made for her out of an old pair of socks filled with dirty alpaca fibre (her favourite toy ever) but she does seem to like it now that it smells more like our house + less like the pet shop

#ben went down on me for a long time earlier tho which helped

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varusai · 4 years ago

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who do you think is the most dateable dark matter thief?? i know you have an opinion and i need to hear it

sorry for the late response anon i honestly had to think abt this one for a few days lmao, but yeah i have opinions. below the cut bc fr i have opinions, all of them have major pros and cons (based on my characterization at least) and really i just have to break it down for u

Boros, everyones obvious first choice, but certainly not mine.

Pros: rich, tall, pretty, fun af, passionate, will kill for you np, give you anything you want, literally anything.

cons: has a god complex, doesnt respect you, not his number one priority at all, will forget about you once its not interesting for him anymore, probably argumentative/combative af, is very very smart and has no problem manipulating you in all the worst ways, is very entitled so he will never feel bad about anything, cant win arguments either bc he’ll want to settle it with combat, will get offended over little things just to argue bc he thinks thats fun

this is a relationship you’d get into if you literally have nothing to lose and dont care about your mental health. like hes hot but this shit would be toxic af and he will ruin your life and leave you to go fuck around and fight someone on the other side of the universe. this will be the best of times and the worst of times for you and you will never be the same afterward mentally or emotionally. the only way i would even consider it is if i lost my damn mind. The only way a relationship with him would ever work long term is if you were physically stronger than him and were capable of putting him in his place OR you were smart enough, suicidal enough, and interesting enough to him to engage in some psychological warfare and reject him if he asked you. Make him chase you for years, say yes, then decide that /he’s/ boring /you/ and leave him for another member of the squad to just destroy their established hierarchy and humble him to the point that he’s obsessed with you.

i dont have the energy for all that, so i’ll just smash and pass.

0/10 completely undateable

Geryuganshoop, also a probable second choice for many:

pros: cute, nice, tentacle alien (obviously), will respect you np, will also give you anything you want, not antagonistic at all, telepathic communication so no risk of miscommunication, emotionally intelligent and available, loyal to a fault,

cons: horrible boss/best friend that you will have to listen to him vent about for at least 3 hours a day, complete yes man as well so he will not tell boros no or cut him off and you will be stuck dealing with this no matter what, severely mentally ill and wont go to therapy bc he thinks hes handling it well, workaholic, needs a lot, and i mean A LOT of attention

this relationship would be great if not for boros lol. boros sabotages his social and romantic life but geryu has been friends with him too long to either cut him off or establish boundaries. he has no backbone (figuratively and literally) and wouldnt even consider it. he’ll ignore you in favor of his job too, to a massive degree. also i think that while the telepathic communication would be a major plus in most cases, here i feel like i’d have no less than 16 different, never before seen on earth, mental illnesses projected right into my brain just from being within a certain radius of him.

im already fucked up enough in that sense so pass unfortunately.

it would be a yes without boros in the picture tho lmao

so prob like 4/10 iffy datablillity, 1 level increase with each decade of therapy he gets tho so a lot of potential :D

Groribas, my fav girl:

pros: straightforward, realistic, very clear expectations, will not fuck around with you whatsoever like there is no mind games or anything here, will kill for you, rich and non materialistic so she’ll basically just let you do whatever with her money since she doesn t care about it, cares about her job but like...a normal amount. she absolutely has a good work/life balance, highly organized so she will not forget important dates, loyal af and will defend your honor under any circumstances, mean but in a funny way, a ton of fun to hang out with if you’re into that, no eyes so i dont have to worry abt eye contact ever

cons: extremely high expectations, like exhaustingly high, and not even a bit of flexibility there, if you dont meet the cut its a no, she’ll let you know and leave same day, she will also bully you, you need a thick skin and great sense of humor to survive, bad at feelings if you need emotional support???? go elsewhere, shes mega emotionally unavailable, will probably want to share bodies as a form of intimacy

overall its a solid 6.5/10 dateability for me i love the directness and no bs approach, we would def get along well. however, while im not sensitive, shes def gonna hit on some insecurities at some point and it will cause an argument lol. but i mean whatever. it happens. the body sharing would be an issue though, same reason i wouldnt be chill with having a symbiote despite being a major venom fucker. i need my space i cant deal with that. so thats a possible deal breaker if she couldnt get over that lol. and she wont, so we wouldnt work out. i wish it fuckin would tho😭😭😭 i would take whatever crumbs of attention she would be willing to give me

Melzalgald, my fav they/them bastard:

pros: amorphous and shapeshifting aka extremely attractive according to my taste in monsters, tall af but could chose to be a more reasonable survivable size lol, self contained and self-entertaining so they dont need a ton of attention to be happy, funny af, rich, will give you whatever you want and probably a bunch of shit you didnt know you wanted, very fun, built in friend group if you didnt already have friends, extremely emotionally intelligent and great people skills due to living in a collective, stupid af by choice, like some of em are very smart, but they dont claim that, will say fuck work and tell boros to eat shit to spend time with you, will kill for you as well, but only if you ask them to bc their first inclination is to just bother someone to death, very loyal, once they like you they like you really forever, it would take some pretty extreme circumstances to make them dislike you

cons: annoying af and its unavoidable, will talk over you, all of them at once will talk over you and do so loudly, no respect for personal space, they dont even know what that is, will probably accidentally manhandle you, they act stupid but arent so they can be manipulative, even if it isnt bad and they dont really mean to be, impulsive, forgetful of the needs of organic creatures so they will bother you at all hours of the day and night if you arent firm with boundaries, disgustingly extroverted and will bring randoms to your place without asking, or just...make new cluster members and you have to roll with it, will eat or absorb literally anything you have, will antagonize and bother you for fun, major jump scare risk since sometimes the forms are....fleshy

this ones hard for me like theyre hot af and i feel like they’d be super fun and good partners, but god....the noise. idk how long i could deal with that lol i dont like people in my house. it would drive me up the wall, but then again...i can simply kick them out when ive had enough. they arent projecting mental illness directly into my brain or requiring me to share a body sintelligento major plus. creepy thing/symbiote style hot monster without any of the invasiveness so tbh 8/10 dateability

some people date loud annoying extroverts who dont understand personal space that /arent/ rich, loyal, or emotionally intellegent so i’d be winning on a few different fronts lmao

#lord boros #geryuganshoop #groribas #melzalgald #dark matter thieves #opm #i put way too much thought into this after not thinking abt them in a long while #it was fun tho #Anonymous

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