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golbrocklovely · 4 years ago

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remember me // colby brock

A/N: this is not a request, but this is something i have been thinking about for a long time, probs since i started writing. i only finally wrote this out bc i’ve seen a lot of edit on insta that are like ‘what if your fave didn’t exist?’ and i figured this was sign for me to finally write it. if you guys want me to make a sequel to this, lmk. hope you enjoy.

prompt: everyone has forgotten colby, except her. but why?

trigger warning: angst, kinda sad, ppl forgetting colby

word count: 3567

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The day started out like any other day for Colby. Nothing felt out of place as he woke up and laid in bed for a couple minutes. He knew today was going to be one of the less crazier days for him and Sam. No meetings of any kind, and no filming either. He had gotten everything done earlier this week and he was excited to have a bit of a day off. The only thing he had planned for today was to go workout with Sam early. He glanced at his phone. 9:34 A.M. Perfect time for him and Sam to go down to the apartment's gym and get some work done.

Colby stretched as he stood up, stumbling over to his closet and changing into what he usually worked out in, a muscle shirt and basketball shorts. He trudged into his bathroom and brushed his teeth quickly, opting to take a shower after he got home from the gym. He slipped his sneakers on as he walked into his kitchen and got a water bottle from his fridge. Taking a big gulp, he grabbed his keys and headed straight down the hallway to Sam's apartment.

He knocked three times, calling out to Sam as he waited for the blonde-haired boy to open the door. Finally, Sam did, rubbing his eyes and staring at Colby confused.

"Hey dude, did you oversleep?" Colby smirked, "That would be a first."

Sam narrowed his eyes at Colby, his voice still tired. "Um, I'm sorry?"

“Don't you remember? We planned to work out this morning. We talked about it last night.” Colby replied, twirling his keys in his fingers.

“What are you talking about?” Sam scrunched up his face.

“Last night after we filmed your video, we said we should go workout this morning…” Colby chuckled lightly, “Are you okay, brother?”

“I'm sorry, but... do you have the wrong apartment?” Sam asked nicely.

Colby exhaled. “What?”

“You must be looking for someone else, dude. I have no idea who you are.” Sam mumbled to himself, “Or how you know my name…”

“Okay, ha-ha. Very funny. Come on, Sam. Let's go.” Colby stated, taking a step back to leave.

Sam insisted, his voice getting louder. “No seriously, I have no idea who you are.”

“Babe, who is that?” A voice called from inside the apartment.

Colby looked over Sam, seeing Kat walk around the corner in her pjs. Colby glanced above Kat and noticed something off but ignored it.

“Hey Kat, did Sam hit his head last night?” Colby joked.

Sam turned to Kat. “Do you know him?”

Kat took a step back, glancing at Colby quickly. “No, I have no idea who he is. Do you?”

“No, I don't.” Sam shook his head.

“What are you guys on about? Of course, you know me.” Colby hissed.

“Seriously, I have no idea who you are or how you know me. But you gotta leave.” Sam ordered.

“What?” Colby raised an eyebrow, his voice softening, “Is this some type of prank?”

“Leave now, or I'm gonna call security on you.” Sam grunted.

Colby started. “Dude what are you talking-”

Sam slammed the door in Colby's face, locking it loudly. Colby scoffed, staring at the door for a second.

If this is a prank, I'm so gonna get him back for this.

Colby rolled his eyes and went down to the gym. He couldn't wrap his head around what just happened. Why was Sam pranking him if they already filmed last night? Was he trying to film for next week now too? Was this for someone else's video?

I mean, this has to be a prank... right?

Colby shook his head, ignoring the strange thought. Of course, this was a prank. It was probably for Jake's video. Maybe even Kat's. Or Kevin's. Someone was doing it to him. He couldn't remember the last time he had pranked somebody. But whoever he did, they were probably trying to get him back now for it. And they were doing a pretty good job.

Colby jumped onto the treadmill, keeping the pace slow at first as he searched through Spotify to find his playlist. Where was his playlist? As cheesy as it was to listen to the playlist he made for fans, it was filled with his favorite songs, so he would actually listen to it a lot. But now... he couldn't find it.

Where the fuck is it?

He searched, even going to his profile, but it wasn't there. Gone, like it never existed.

Maybe Spotify is acting up. Let me just go to Youtube.

Colby clicked on the app, searching up a song he wanted to hear. Then he paused for a moment, deleting the text he had written and typing in 'sam and colby'.

No results found.

“What?” Colby murmured, twisting up his face.

He then typed in 'colby brock'.

No results found.

Colby's heart sped up in his chest, his breathing quickening. Did his channel get deleted? Why were there no results for his channel, or 'Sam and Colby' for that matter? He finally typed in 'sam golbach', and Sam's channel appeared.

Colby clicked on it, glancing around at the different layout. This wasn't the layout Sam had had before. The only time they change it is when they are starting a new chapter, and they always do it together. Maybe he changed it last minute?

He clicked on Sam's videos. Scrolling through the list of them, he noticed something weird.

Sam always included Colby in the thumbnail. But now... he was nowhere. Now someone different was in the thumbnail, like Jake, Kevin, or even Corey. But... Colby was nowhere.

What the fuck was going on?

Colby clicked on a video he knew he was in, 'This Is How He LOST The Game’. He watched through the first ad, waiting impatiently. Finally, when the video loaded, his eyes widened at what he saw.

He wasn't in the video.

Sam had started the video off like normal, showing all the guys sitting on the couch as he explained the name of the game. But Colby, who knew for a fact he was in this video, was no longer there. His spot empty.

It was one thing to pretend not to know him, it was one thing to remove him from the thumbnails. But to remove him from videos all together...

“It's impossible.” He uttered under his breath.

Colby rushed off the treadmill, no longer in the mood to workout. He ran up to his apartment, feeling his heart bang against his ribcage.

Maybe this is all a weird ass dream? Or an extremely elaborate prank?

Colby went into his closet, deciding he wanted to change out of his clothes into something more comfortable. He gazed over at the corner of his closet, where he kept all of his merch, along with the XPLR ones too.

It was empty.

“What the fuck?” Colby grabbed at the empty hangers, spinning around his closet. He threw open drawers to try and find his merch, but he couldn't find it.

Colby swiped open his phone, sliding to his pictures. He knew him and Sam had a recent photoshoot in the new XPLR merch, so as long as those photos were there, he knew everything's okay.

As he opened his photo album, a certain dread trickled through his body.

Colby never deleted anything off his phone. He wanted to keep as many photos as possible. Plus it was always good to have extra photos in case he didn't have anything to post on his Instagram. But now, every photo he had was different than it once was. He had many photos of him and Sam from their years of friendship. But now every photo that had him and Sam in it... was gone. It was no longer Sam and Colby. It was just... Colby.

I'm not doing this right now. This can't be real.

Colby shook his head, his nerves getting the better of him as he laid back down on his bed. He took some deep breaths, trying to relax. This must just be the most realistic dream he's ever had, and he just needs to go back to sleep and wake up to everything normal again.

Normal... Sam's neon sign was gone.

Colby groaned to himself, closing his eyes and getting comfortable in bed. No, this is not the time to think. I just need to sleep.

As Colby felt himself relax into sleep, his dreams that followed were confusing and dark. Nothing made sense, but all he knew was that he was in a panic.

Colby jolted awake suddenly. He could tell by the way the sun was peeking through his windows that it was later. He opened his phone. 1:34 P.M.

He sighed deeply. Colby was used to waking up on his days off this late. Everything already felt better.

Did I dream all of that? Or was that prank real?

As he slid out of bed to the bathroom, he decided to check twitter. If that was all real, maybe Sam had mentioned the prank to the fans.

Colby opened twitter and nothing seemed out of the usual. He looked at Sam's account, and noticed it was not following him anymore.

He's being extremely thorough, isn't he?

As he went to switch over to the Sam and Colby account, he noticed the icon wasn't there. His fingers twitched as he typed 'sam and colby' into the search bar. Everything but that account showed up. 'Sam and Colby' twitter didn't exist.

A nauseous feeling rolled through Colby's body. Colby went to his profile, looking through the people he followed, not even noticing the significant lack of followers he had. He knew he followed a couple fans, maybe they knew what was up. As he scrolled through, he noticed the usernames were different.

He knew a bunch of fans off-hand. A lot of fan accounts always stuck out to him; and it was easy to remember the username, especially if it was named after him.

But nobody's username was.

He saw a lot of 'Golbach', but no 'Brock' or even 'Golbrock', which he always thought was cute. Not a single username was related to him anymore.

Alright, that's enough.

He angrily clicked on his contacts, needing to call Sam and tell him to call off this prank. It was no longer funny and honestly, he didn't even want to be a part of it anymore. Most pranks he was fine with, but this one was going too far for him.

Colby gasped as he stared at his contacts, dropping his phone like it electrocuted him.

All his friends were missing from his contacts. The only people in his phone were his family, and that was it.

Colby began to hyperventilate, unable to stop the panic that surged through his body. He bore at himself in the mirror, staring at his stress-ridden face. He gripped the counter of his sink, trying to calm himself down.

If he couldn't turn to Sam, who could he turn to?

He picked his phone back up, leaning against his counter as he called his mom. He just needed to know that someone remembered him.

“Hello?” His mother’s voice sang through the phone.

Colby breathed, slightly relaxing against the counter. “Hey Mom, how are you?”

“Hi Cole-baby. I'm doing okay. How are you?” She asked sweetly.

Colby pouted. “Um, I'm feeling a bit... off, to say the least.”

“Oh no, what's wrong?” She responded.

“I know this is gonna sound like a weird question, but do you remember my friend Sam?” Colby questioned, tapping his hand against the counter.

She hummed, guessing. “Sam? Sam... Johnson?”

“What? No. I never knew a Sam Johnson.” Colby rolled his eyes, frustrated, “I mean Sam Golbach. Sam Golbach. Do you remember him?”

“No... should I?” She admitted.

His heart dropped at her words. “Yeah, you should. He's my best friend. We were friends all through high school. We started a literal career together, he's basically your third son at this point.”

“Woah, honey. What are you talking about?” She puzzled.

“You don't remember Sam? He's the whole reason I moved out here, Mom.” He urged, needing his mother to remember.

She paused, then spoke. “Colby, you moved out to LA alone. Last month.”

“What?” He choked.

“You worked all through high school and college and saved up money and just recently moved out there.” She informed.

His eyes widened. “Mom, I've lived in LA for almost five years now.”

Also... college?

“Maybe it feels like five years, but honey, you only moved out a month ago at max.” His mom’s voice softened, lowering slightly. “Are you okay?”

“No momma, apparently not.” He sighed, “Who was I friends with in high school if I wasn’t friends with Sam?”

“Honey, you didn’t have any… or none that you ever brought home.” She mentioned.

Colby queried. “And college?”

“You didn’t really talk about anyone. You were very focused on your schoolwork.” She explained.

That literally doesn’t sound like me at all. I couldn’t even pass math without Sam.

Colby glanced down at his tattoos for a second, pursing his lips. “Another quick question, I was allowed to live in our house with dyed hair, tattoos, and pierced ears?”

She gasped. “Wait what? You got a tattoo?!”

“Mom, I have like five.” Colby deadpanned.

“When did you find the time to get them?!” She hushed, “Cole, you know how I feel about tattoos.”

Colby grew tired. “So, you've never heard of a Sam Golbach before?”

“No, absolutely not. But don't try to change the subject on me, Cole Robert.” She scolded.

He huffed. “I'll talk to you later, momma.”

She sputtered. “What? Don't you-”

Colby clicked ‘End Call’, lowering his head to the counter, taking in a deep breath and holding it.

“What the fuck is happening right now?” He demanded out loud.

Colby jumped up, going to his closet and slipping on some clothes quickly. The only thing he knew for certain is that something wasn't right, and he needed to get out of his apartment and go somewhere else. Anywhere else.

He grabbed his keys and rushed down to the parking lot, getting into his car quickly and driving off.

He drove for a while, finally pulling into another parking lot and turning off his car. He needed to get something to eat, and then maybe he could figure things out. He glanced around and noticed the parking lot he was in was for a diner named Meyer's. He locked his car as he left, swinging the diner's door open hastily. The diner wasn't packed, but it wasn't empty either. A nice lull of conversations droned on as he sat down at the furthest booth, cracking his knuckles nervously.

He picked up the menu that was already at the table, staring at the front of it. He didn't even realize a waitress had walked up next to him.

"...Are you okay?" The soft voice said, breaking him out of his thoughts.

Colby stared up at the waitress, noticing her eyes first. They were captivating and beautiful, much like herself. Her hair shined brightly in the sun that basked through the window. Her smile was wonderful to see after a day of unpleasant looks.

He stuttered. “What? Uh-I. Yeah, no, I'm fine.”

She giggled. “Okay. Can I get you something to drink?”

“Um, a water. No, a soda. Please.” Colby muttered.

“Alright. Coming right up.” She nodded.

Colby stared at the menu again, gazing over the pictures of sandwiches and wraps. He wasn't really hungry, but he felt like he should just eat something, even if it was just to pass the time.

The waitress came back over with his soda, placing it lightly down in front of him. “Are you ready to order?”

“No, not yet.” Colby answered, not looking up from the menu.

“Okay, I'll be right back.” She started to walk away, then stopped and turned back. “Are you okay? I know I already asked you that but... you look really upset.”

Colby’s shoulders slumped as he gazed up at her. “I-I... don't even know how to explain it.”

“Why? Is it complicated?” She guessed.

“You could say that,” Colby glared down at the menu. “It just doesn't make any sense. It sounds fake, to be honest.”

“Well, you can tell me. I won't judge.” She smiled.

I might as well tell somebody...

“Everyone's... forgotten about me?” Even Colby was confused at his words.

“What do you mean? Like they're ignoring you?” She questioned, her hand resting on her hip.

“No. Like they literally forgot I exist. Or, I somehow don't exist in their lives anymore, when yesterday I did.” He confessed.

She shrugged. “Well, maybe they're trying to ignore you instead of talking things out.”

“No, I don't think you understand. I don't exist to them. They don't know me. Like, at all,” Colby corrected. “My best friend, my brother, the fucking dude I got arrested with, doesn't know who I am.”

“Wait, you've been arrested?” She raised an eyebrow.

“It was just breaking and entering. And having fake IDs,” He commented. “But that's not the point, the point is no one remembers me, but I remember them.”

The waitress stood there silently, awkwardly.

“I don't know what to say.” She whispered.

He gulped. “I don't know either. But if you have a solution, I'd gladly hear it.”

“Maybe it's a prank?” She speculated.

“I thought about that too. But if it is, this is extremely elaborate. And borderline impossible.” Colby disclosed.

She argued nonchalantly. “People do crazy things for social media.”

“Yeah, but even my friends wouldn't take it this far for just a dumb video.” He complained.

“Are your friends famous?” She inquired.

“I wouldn't say that. My best friend is Sam Golbach.” Colby revealed.

“Sam Golbach? Why have I heard that name before?” She asked quietly.

“He's got a lot of followers. He’s a Youtuber.” He pointed out.

“Wait, you're Sam's best friend?” Her eyes widened.

“Yeah?” He cocked his head to the side.

She gasped. “Oh! You're Colby Brock!”

“I'm what?” He stammered.

“You're Colby, right?” She doubted for a second, “Or did I get that wrong?”

Colby jumped up out of his seat. “Oh my God, you know who I am! Wait, how do you know?”

“My one friend is a huge fan of you and Sam. She showed me you guys like a month ago.” She paused for a second, smirking. “She's actually really into you... Maybe I should call her.”

“Please do. I need to know if she knows who I am.” Colby pleaded, sitting back down.

The waitress followed him, sitting across from Colby. “Of course she does, she literally has you set as her wallpaper.”

She pulled out her phone, glancing around to make sure no one was watching her. She clicked on a contact, putting the phone on the table and clicking ‘Speaker’.

“Hello?” A voice broke in through the phone.

She grinned, staring up at Colby. “Hey Sara, you need to come down to the diner real quick.”

“What why?” Sara questioned.

“Colby Brock is here.” She announced.

Sara remarked. “...Who?”

“Colby Brock, the guy you're in love with.” She repeated.

“I have no idea who you're talking about. I've never heard that name before.” Sara denied.

“He's Sam Golbach's friend.” The waitress described.

Sara exclaimed. “Oh my God, is Sam there?! Because I’ll-”

She interjected. “No, he’s not.”

“Oh... then I don't want to come.” Sara recalled, “I've never heard Sam talk about a guy named Colby before.”

Colby swallowed the lump in his throat, his eyes falling off of the waitress’.

She fretted. “Okay then. I'll talk to you later.”

“Alright, bye.” Sara ended, hanging up the phone.

After a moment of silence, the waitress stated, “I'm sorry about that.”

“What's there to be sorry about?” Colby quavered.

The waitress scoffed suddenly. “Is this some kinda joke?”

“What?” He queried.

“Are you pulling a prank on me? Was Sara in on it? Because I��ll kill her if she met you and didn’t tell me.” She jeered jokingly.

Colby shook his head, deadpanning. “I haven’t met Sara, and I’m not pranking you.”

“How can I know if you’re lying or not?” She questioned, squinting her eyes.

“Google my name. Search me on any social media,” Colby suggested. “I don’t exist.”

“Okay…” She agreed.

The waitress quickly typed in his name into Google, coming up with no images that looked like him. None of his social media links came up either.

She gazed up at him slowly. “This is really weird.”

“You’re telling me.” Colby uttered, “No one remembers me.”

She blurted. “But I do.”

“Yeah… why is that?” He inquired.

“I-I don’t know.” She sputtered, confused. Then she jolted up from her seat instantly. “I-um, gotta go help out my other tables. Do you need me to give you some time to look over the menu?”

“Yes…” He continued, “But one other thing.”

“Sure.” She leaned in, her hands resting on the tabletop.

“Can you help me? Please?” Colby begged, lightly grabbing her hand.

She silently gasped, whispering, “How?”

“I don’t know. But I think you’re the only one that can.” Colby divulged.

The waitress stuttered, but no words fell from her lips.

He exhaled, staring into her eyes. “So, will you?”

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heyitsneen · 4 years ago

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Buckle in because I have been on a RIDE the last few months so I wanna write it all out how BTS stole my whole soul.

I didn’t want to get into kpop even though i remember casually liking a couple shinee songs way back in like 2008 and coming across some kpop music videos when i lived in vietnam in 2012. all i remembered basically was ‘SHIIIIINNNEEEE’ lmao and remembered thinking it was fun but not really listening to it. I had a weird snobbishness against kpop fandom but secretly always knew from the glimpses of fancams and gifs and music vids i’d casually come across that if i looked into it i’d probably like it. I had no IDEA though how talented most kpop groups are and how much dancing was involved. I confess I had a really american view of pop groups and expected it to be all about looks and really poppy boy-band/girl-band, which I also do like...but didn’t put me in a rush to find out more about kpop. If I had realized how much they dance I know I would have looked more into it years ago because I love and respect dancing. I still knew I had the potential to like it if i ever looked into it, but I thought of it super shallow-ly so I never took the time to learn more.

I remember years ago when Jin trended as ‘third guy from the left’ and i didn’t really know who he was at the time except that bts was pretty big and my college roommate casually liked them. I read through the comments on twitter at the time and was entertained and a little curious but didn’t look further. I remember seeing a pic as a result of the trend and finding out ppl called him World Wide Handsome and i found that hilarious and awesome and agreed with the assessment, I remember finding them all super handsome, but at this point still had only heard a little bit of Boy with Love.

Much later (years?) an NPR podcast I followed talked about Blackpink doing coachella and I got curious and watched a couple mvs and was really impressed but still casually. I now had a bit of a better respect for it but was still not really into it yet except thinking blackpink had bops and being generally vaguely aware that blackpink and bts were popular (i really didn’t realize how popular and how much music they were selling tbh).

Time passed and I forgot about it until about this april while I was bored in quarantine. I got SUPER into The Untamed and then super into finding out more about Wang Yibo...which lead to watching all of his dance stuff on youtube, which lead to a ton of stuff about Uniq. I was intrigued by kpop now because of learning more about Uniq, yibo, and then produce 101 and woodz but it was still casual.

I especially loved watching the dancing so I started watching dance compilations on youtube of kpop dancing. The whole dance practice thing amazed me and I had so much fun watching dances but wasn’t really getting into who was who yet or the music really. Then Taemin’s Move happened to me and I was HOOKED on that and watched it a ton of times in the next week or so while also watching playlists of generally popular kpop music vids. I started wanting to just see a bit of what was popular and was having a good time but not really hooked yet beyond quarantine boredom and knowing that looking up kpop dance vids was going to become a thing i did on youtube probably from then on.

By coincidence around this time the Daechwita music video came out and had a ton of views so i got curious and was in awe of it when I watched it. I loved the rapping, the hype-ness, the cinematography, the lyrics...everything. I learned then from the comment section that Agust D was actually Suga from BTS which instantly made me want to know way more about bts, but I was still stuck on thinking of them as pop and amazed that suga was such a good rapper. So I wanted to see how other people reacted to him and watched a ton of reaction vids of ppl reacting to Daechwita.

This made me curious about Suga and BTS so I watched DNA and Boy With Love and enjoyed those but they were more what I expected as more poppy songs, so at that point I just enjoyed it casually for the eye and ear candy, but I was amazed that agust d was one of the members in that group and the duality of that had me intrigued (i naively thought agust d/suga’s rapping was completely a separate persona than BTS, before I realized how talented suga, RM, and jhope are within bts too and how many of their songs have a lot of rap as well). So I wanted to learn more about BTS but just watching stuff by myself seemed boring so I binge watched reaction vids of people reacting to bts for the first time and learned way more about them along with youtubers and had a blast. Watching reaction vids at first felt like hanging out with other clueless friends all chatting about this thing new to us, so somehow it made everything feel more accessible to me especially while I missed casually browsing youtube with my friends during quarantine. Mic Drop was the first of their songs to get stuck in my head and had me specifically looking up the MV/listening to it and searching out ppls reactions to Mic Drop. Then I came across reactions to the 2019 mma performance and was blown away and watched a TON of reactions to that but I still didn’t know who anyone was and hadn’t looked into many lyrics but by then i was super impressed by the effort and performance level.

A turning point from casual fun interest to deeper stanning happened though when I watched a reaction vid someone made (unfortunately can’t remember who now) to Spring Day and the explanation of Spring Day. I was AMAZED at the intellectual and careful artistry in that music video and the heart put into it. This for me started to elevate my curiosity about bts specifically over just being curious about kpop in general. I decided to watch a bunch of reactions to ‘who is bts’ type of vids because i wanted to know their names at that point and I was blindsided by how impressed I was with their thought processes (specifically RM and Suga, especially at first), their individual strengths, their personalities in general, their bonds, their work ethic and ambition, and their inspirational story. I decided to watch their music vids on my own in chronological order and realized that there was reoccurring and connected story and symbolism in their music vids stretching for years and was SO HYPE about that and impressed by it (I love analyzing media, I even was briefly a film major so I was GEEKED about the artistry and symbols in their music vids even before I realized the references or how confusing and deep it ran and that made me like them even more). I googled about the storyline looking for theories/explanations and found the webtoon, which just blew my mind that they even had a webtoon! I read it in one night lol, I was in multimedia heaven honestly I have never heard of a music group being so into using so many mediums for entertainment and was definitely feeling so happy to get into it. THE WINGS SHORT FILMS were I think what officially elevated everything for me and made me know I’d always want to keep an eye on what they were putting out there because it was so so cool to me that they’d have this storyline in their music videos and also take the time to make these little artsy short movies I was SO IMPRESSED and blown away.

The real soul steeling happened though when I saw RM’s UN speech and started watching more compilations and reactions showing RM and Suga talking about their thoughts about their success and their music and learning about the relationships and personalities of the members...I quickly grew to appreciate each individual which really surprised me because how can one group be so complete and have 7 individually interesting people in it. I loved too that they all had their own solo stuff and were allowed to each shine in their own ways. It became about more than music for me at some point in there and I know now I’ll probably have warm feelings about them and want to root for them on a deeper level for a long time. Now their music is so enriched for me by all the behind the scenes stuff I’ve seen. I really in earnest then was mainlining all of the stuff I could in a mix of reaction vids to funny compilations to lyric breakdowns to finding an index that lists as much as possible in chronological order that I’m now watching through including their early vlogs and gameshows and it’s just so fascinating to me how much content they have documenting their whole journey and I am having such a fun and moving and inspiring time watching it. It’s really helped me during quarantine especially and now I can really say I am a really big fan of BTS and probably will be for a really long time.

I still sometimes watch other kpop music vids and have now seen all of TXTs stuff, but so far other groups haven’t grabbed my heart in the same way. I know at some point they probably will and I have been really impressed by the talent all throughout kpop in general that i’ve seen. I can usually only be obsessed with one thing at a time though lol, but I look forward to paying more attention in general to kpop from now on!

But there is something really special to me about BTS right now so I’m just letting myself bask in that obsession and it is so great. So many of their lyrics move me, RM and Suga alone are such interesting people that they alone would make me want to keep up with BTS. But then on top of that the rest are so great in their own ways too and Jimin along the way became probably my ‘bias’ though I really do like them all so much in their own ways that choosing one as a fave feels stupid. Then on the shallower note they are also beautiful, so there is that...but that is such a small piece of why I love them now. Kpop combos everything I love about music...the theatrics, the symbolism, the flashiness, the music, the makeup, the glam, the dancing, the fun, the inspiration, the acting, the iconography...and with bts it’s also a group of guys who are so intensely likable and root-able, with a huge amount of content, who reflect a lot on what it means to love yourself and know yourself and who are really open about how much effort goes into their crazy lives...and I am just upset that I didn’t know more about them years ago.

I can also completely see why fans are a bit obsessive and defensive about the genre and about their fave groups now...because the western media still doesn’t really get how impressive this stuff is and how much work goes into it. I mean already groups like one direction and other pop groups had to fight uphill battles for respect b/c for some reason pop music gets such a bad rep. But western media and ppl who never bother to look into kpop look down on it so dismissively as mindless pop or just about looks and are so extra condescending about it like these kpop groups are lucky to come to the US or something. There’s so much reluctance to embrace it even when it’s so popular, that fans have to shove it’s popularity in ppls faces for it to start to be accepted finally, and even now the attitude in media toward it seems pretty dismissive like it’s just temporary or about teenage girls or they focus on the fans and not the music...or they purposefully overly focus on negative or perceived negatives and look for things to discredit their accomplishments. In some ways the popularity BTS has accomplished is even more impressive to me than the beatles comparisons imply, because BTS did it with a language barrier, while dancing, and in the face of the US still being pretty racist against asians. It really is impressive, and even as a new fan I get so frustrated when people try to dismiss it as fad or minimize their successes and the mark on culture and music history that not just kpop but specifically BTS is making with these accolades and firsts.

Way too much western media focus goes to extra shit like: how young they are (they aren’t even really younger than a lot of american performers anyway), dismissing their involvement in the music process (freaking do your research and give credit where credit is due, many idols are more involved in their creative process than american singers anyway and even if they weren’t why are we suddenly caring about that?!), focusing on the rules they are under from companies (accept that it’s a different culture...also, disney anyone?), crediting their collaborators for their success more than them (sia added absolutely nothing to ON for example...and their success is not because of Halsey..and stop f-ing asking who they want to collab with), not giving credit for their dancing and over-focusing on live vocals without crediting them for singing /while/ dancing (that shit’s hard and no one is doing it like kpop, and even if sometimes live vocals get shaky the way people specifically nitpick and harp on that for them is so stupid when plenty of super popular ‘western’ singers also give some shaky live performances or also use a backing track all while dancing a hell of a lot less), criticizing them for makeup (i honestly think this is thinly disguised racism/fetishism at work because plenty of american male artists wear makeup and are not met with the uncomfortable comparisons to dolls and girls and sexualized criticism that american media gives this), dismissing them as just ‘pretty’, judging them for how the trainee system works (which they don’t really have control over, and is pretty hypocritical anyway when you consider how western music contracts and studios work...shadiness is intense in american music industry too), constantly wanting them to put more english into their music (spanish songs are getting radio play (tbh also not enough), and their global success keeping their korean lyrics proves anyway that we should be moving beyond caring so much about language barriers but the radio/media response is just so behind what people are listening to/buying and it’s frustrating how xenophobic it is).

now that I know more about it, it’s so insulting how condescending some of the interview questions they get and some of the articles about kpop are because they act like kpop is some alien thing that’s lucky to break into the US as if the US is the center of everything and tbh it’s disrespectful and xenophobic and often racist. kpop is a whole package of entertainment and showmanship that honestly is way more work than most of the famous ‘western’ performers bring to their shows and music vids. I am not naive and I do know that language does affect radio play, but it’s not hard to look up lyric translations and music is really transcendent of language imo. It’s not like they need to be playing every new group or even a ton of korean music, I know that american radio is pretty guttless at the prospect of sharing ‘new’ stuff, it’s a lot of the same stuff repeatedly, but at the very least the groups and songs that are organically selling huge numbers and getting hugely popular should get the radio play that reflects some of that popularity. Really entertainers in the US should be trying to learn from the kpop scene and tbh it should be way more respected than the condescending reluctant attitude music media in the US especially has been giving it. I do feel like maybe the attitudes are changing and I hope they are. I really feel like it’s the future of pop and it’s really exciting for me now to finally know more about it and be more aware of it for the future.

#bts #bangtan sonyeondan #ramble #sorry this is so long but i might have a lot more bts stuff on my blog and i wanted to explain some of my discovery journey #i wish i wasn't ever so snobby about kpop #kpop is fun yall and if you have been stubbornly resisting it you might find eventually that you missed out!#i mean i know everyone has different tastes but there is so much entertainment in the kpop world even on top of the music #the music vids performances and dancing are so fun it is such a fun world that has opened up to me :)#i wish the world was more open to just letting people like what they like #music is fun for me again #haven't been so obsessed with music since savage garden and darren hayes #i mean i LOVE music but i often don't really get so interested or fannish about the people behind the music #so this has been so so so fun for me and reconnecting me with stuff i really do love like music makeup theatrics dancing pop etc #lady gaga comes the closest for me in providing this much theater with the music and i loved her for that in monster era #but sooooo many kpop groups bring that energy and i love it #and bts brings the positive messages too and has an it factor that even my overly cheesy sounding praise still doesn't quite capture for me

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kinktae · 5 years ago

Note

what were NOT gonna do is drag rose into this, when she obviously isn’t involved in the situation.

Anonymous said: Please don’t let that anon get to you rose! If you want this to be your happy place then we should all respect that. I see why they might feel that way but it’s not for us to decide how you deal with the situation

bigbangtansonyeondan said: Ew that anon is so gross. Rose is not even involved aside from just knowing the people. We all have friends who done shit and do shit and it’s your personal choice whether to stick with them and shape them up or ditch them. No judgement here Rose. Don’t let stinky anons mess with your happy place.

Anonymous said: hey u don’t have to post this but the other anon was really insensitive about the situation especially when u just mentioned u were going through anxiety. like do THEY agree with their family and friends 100% of the time? no, no one does and people can make mistakes. also they don’t know the situation behind the scenes and only see what’s posted online

Anonymous said: Disregard all the anons telling u to stop being friends with ur friends!! This whole thing is just messy and has many sides let’s just all be happy and hope this is settled / will settle soon

Anonymous said: People stop dragging Rose into the arguement. It was not her that made the mistake, and you can’t tell her to break her friendships, because that’s not your decision to make. It’s hers! Anyway… search up anxiety relief(ver) on spotify. You’ll find a few good playlists with songs that will help you sooth your anxiety. Love you ❤❤

Anonymous said: Im really sorry you have been suffering with anxiety at the moment.I know how you feel I’ve been through some tough times recently. But don’t worry i will get better.🥺🥰

Anonymous said: Hey! I hope you’re doing ok w this whole drama bs! I hope to see it resolved soon and honestly fuck ppl who are trying to drag u into it!!! It has nothing to do w u! I wanna spiritually give you a hug and a lil kiss on the head 💖 bc ur too sweet for this world (despite writing Amazing smut) I hope the rest of your week goes better!Anonymous said: Hi i am just here to send you some love. I know there was a messed up situation involving your friends but ultimately it’s not your place to worry about it. You have made your feelings clear and the rest is between them and that person. People need to get off the cancel bus and chill for a sec about issues that aren’t theirs, and stop dragging bystanders like yourself into the mix. Try to focus on you, on calm, happy and safe places. Lots of love 💕

bl00bts said: ok that last anon better back the fuck off. ‘If you don’t denounce their actions then you agree with them’. What A-class bullshit. Listen, your friends, yeah they sound like assholes but they’re still your friends. I can’t force you to not hang out with them, you guys are close. They’re very important in your life, I completely understand that. I just hope that you recognize that what they did wasn’t okay. Honestly, you shouldn’t be dragged into this, you weren’t doing anything wrong.

Anonymous said: hihi, you don’t have to respond to this, this is just for your solace. i don’t think you did anything wrong with all that’s happening. your friends are their own persons who make their own decisions and behave in the manner they choose. being friends with them doesn’t mean you agree with or condone their actions, and i can see how hard this must be for you because people expect you to take sides. i hope you can catch a break and your anxieties easy away :( ❤️

Anonymous said: i just want to say that i’m so sorry that people are giving you a bunch of shit on things that you have no control over. i honestly have no idea what’s going on and i really don’t want to know but i just want to say don’t listen to them and please don’t let them get to you 💜

Anonymous said: (this is continuing the other ask) but like how are u gonna call someone a clown and essentially insult them if that’s what u were against in the first place. it makes no sense. please don’t take it to heart ur a great writer and im sure a great person

Anonymous said: That anon was quite rude to you. You chose to not get involved( and weren’t even involved), and allowed them to “resolve” their issue amongst themselves. That anon IS NOT you in this situation. They don’t understand how you feel, so to come and say what YOU should do regarding this situation is not their place. I hope people think about what they say before they come to you with their opinions on a situation they have no direct involvement in.

Anonymous said: Y'all sending her hate is really uncalled for. She’s not involved in the situation. Y'all sending her shady shit via anon is the same thing y'all are getting mad at those writers for. Don’t say one thing then do that same thing. It ain’t cute. Leave her be.

Anonymous said: Hi Rose🥺 Ik you don’t know me but I love and support you and hope everything works out for you. You deserve the best. Tumblr isn’t a place for negativity. It should be a safe haven. It should just be a place where people come together for the things they love.

Anonymous said: 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜🥰😘😘😘😘😘😘💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Anonymous said: Hey Rose! Im sending you lots of love and support 💜 you're loved and important and Im sorry you had an anxiety attack. Lots and lots of love

minyoongibabygirl said: Hey look I might not quite understand what's going on, but I'm going to always support you, you don't deserve the hate your getting. I love you, I purple you

Anonymous said: A) you’re amazing and b) I’m sorry people are harassing you about all this drama. Your friends are important and I can say that I don’t agree with everything my friends do but that doesn’t mean I end our relationship. You’re an amazing author and an even better person.

Anonymous said: I hope you’re doing okay right now, I have panic attacks too and it takes me a while to recover from them 💜

Forget what i said about tumblr being my happy place. You guys are my happy place. thank you to everyone who sent me in anons of love and to those that pm’d me privately to help me through my mental health shit. and again, i’m so so sorry for worrying you all. Please take care of yourself everyone

#ask #and please only send love ever #reminder tho that sora prolly needs love more than I do rn #im grateful regardless #OKAY WE GOING HEALTHY HEAD HOURS FROM HERE ON OUT

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horansqueen · 6 years ago

Text

BabyGirl 5.0

NOTES:

♥ this is based on a concept i received a few weeks ago and ppl asked that i made a story with it. ♥ i planned 3-4 long parts but i think it’ll be 8-10 short parts ♥ 3.8k. fluff. ♥ there may be smut but i doubt it and IF it happens it wont be as explicit as my other smut works. ♥ i didn’t proofread and if you read my stuff you know i never do because im a lazy ass. ♥ i am not totally happy with this chapter, but i hope you guys like it. Thank you so so much to those of you who still read this story. It means so so much that you gave this a chance and stuck to it as readers. thank you times a million! btw im sorry this is a bit late!! ♥ if you have any questions please dont hesitate.

♥ PART 1 // PART 2 // PART 3 // PART 4

5.0 ♥ GUILT TRIP & FIREWORKS ♥

HIM

"Mommyyyyyy!"

The yell coming from the living room made my lips curl and I took my hand away slowly, looking up in her eyes. She chuckled and we left everything behind to walk to Chelsea who was searching through the dvds. I glanced back, not liking the fact that we didn't clean anything, but I tried to put my attention back on my daughter as she pulled on a movie, making a few others fall on the sides. She quickly turned to us, her messy hair flying around her face, and held out the dvd to her mom who took a step closer to grab it.

"It's movie time mommy!"

I noticed her face immediately change and I frowned as she looked back up and tilted her head, clearly torn and unsure of what to say.

"We normally watch a movie on Christmas morning." she just explained without sending me a glance. "You're welcome to watch it with us, if you want."

I slipped my hands in my pockets and nodded slowly, a bit unsure of what exactly was happening. All I knew was that this whole morning had changed me. I couldn't believe what being there with them made me feel, and at the same time, I couldn't really explain it. I wanted to stay, and I was happy when she proposed me to. I walked to the couch and took a seat right before Chelsea jumped next to me, making the whole couch shake. She leaned her head against the back of it, a large smile on her lips, as she looked at her mom put the dvd in.

I looked down at her and chuckled at her excitement before I noticed her shirt again. It was an old Ramones white shirt and it made my lips curl into a fond smile, this time. I didn't even look for it, I knew exactly where it was, and i didn't mind. It was not the only thing I forgot at her place and I didn't know if she kept the rest of my stuff but knowing this particular shirt survived through the years was endearing.

I remembered it was my go-to shirt during our lazy sundays, and even if i was always the one who'd put it on in the morning, she was always the one who ended wearing it during the afternoon. The first few times were coincidences, but after a while, I did it on purpose. I loved the way she looked in my clothes, but this shirt in particular meant lazy weekend sex and although it felt a bit weird to see it on a kid, it was also an incredible memory I cherished. And it suddenly hit me. That time we actually 'made' Chelsea was probably one of these mornings and seeing her wearing it now had an even deeper meaning.

"Have you ever listened to the Ramones?" I asked my daughter, grabbing the shirt between two fingers, near her shoulder, pinching it up slightly before letting it fall back.

She looked down at her shirt and then back up in my eyes, shaking her head slightly as she stared at me. For some reason, it made my heart twist and I sent her a smile.

"I didn't know what it meant." she admitted, tilting her head.

I chuckled low and licked my lips, bending down slightly.

"It's a good band." I explained.

She stared at me a bit longer and frowned.

"Are they on spotify?" she asked, making smile more. "Mommy and I, we have a playlist with our favorite songs."

"They are." I answered with a laugh.

The movie started and we both turned to the television. Chelsea let out a loud "Yes!" and I glanced at the dvd box on the coffee table. I felt my heart skip a beat when I read the title and licked my lips as a bunch of questions appeared in my mind. "Smallfoot" was clearly visible, even upside down, and when I finally looked up, my eyes met my ex girlfriend's. She sent me a shy smile before getting up and sitting on the other side of me. I didn't know why she didn't sit next to our daughter but I was too surprised by my daughter's movie choice to ask about it.

"It's Chelsea's favorite movie." she explained in a low tone. "Louis brought her to see it at the movies and when she came back, she begged for me to buy it."

I turned to her and noticed her lips curl immediately into a fond smile. I did the same and just nodded as I heard the movie play near us. Chelsea laughed and then talked with the characters, quoting them before laughing again.

"Did you tell her..."

"No." she cut me in a whisper. "I didn't tell her that her father wrote and sang a song in it. I just... I didn't know how."

I nodded slowly, not really surprised, but kept staring at her. She was close, almost too close, and I was suddenly aware of her arm and thigh pressed against mine. I cleared my throat and swallowed, trying to think about something else.

"For someone who doesn't like getting into other people’s business, it seems like Louis gets in ours a lot." I pointed out, making her laugh.

"Tell me about it." she agreed, raising her nose up in a grimace.

"Hush you two!"

We both jumped and turned to Chelsea who sent us an annoyed look, frowning at us. We waited until she turned back to the tv and looked back at each other, holding a laugh. I couldn't believe I was laughing with my ex girlfriend after so long and I enjoyed it more than I wanted to admit to myself.

"I'm gonna go wash the dishes, you can stay here with Chelsea." She murmured, getting up.

It only took me half a second to get up too and follow her to the kitchen. I glanced at Chelsea who was singing one of the songs in the movie and looked at the screen, smiling slightly. It was making me happy that my daughter enjoyed that movie, even if she didn't know her father had something to do with it.

I grabbed a towel and started drying the dished she finished washing. We remained silent, glancing at each other from time to time and trying to ignore it whenever our fingers would touch. It still felt electric, and I started thinking that if it was not from that big fat lie she managed to keep for five years, we could have a chance. This time, I wouldn't be so stubborn. This time, I would really give her all of me. The problem was that every time I thought about telling her how I felt, I remembered the fact that she robbed me from over four years with my own daughter, and that was something hard to forgive.

"So, that's what it would be like."

I turned to her, getting out of my own thoughts, and frowned. She sent me a sorry smile and tilted her head slightly as I put the towel on the counter, moving my body to face her without really realizing it. She did the same and leaned her hip against the counter, licking her lips. Her eyes met mine again and she sighed in a sad way, making my heart twist.

"That's what it would be like to be a family." she explained in a lower tone, as if she was ashamed. "You, me, and Chelsea."

I felt myself tear up at her words but swallowed my pain quickly, my eyes roaming quickly on her face. I hadn't thought about it but it was true, that's what our life would be like if we had gone through all of this together, as a family.

"Well right now we'd probably be with my family in Ireland, and we'd have a break at being parents because my mom would definitely take care of Chelsea and entertain her for as long as we'd be in her house." I added, smiling fondly at the thought. "And I'd lock the door of my old room and make love to you lazily on Christmas morning."

I watched her as her face changed and she held her breath, probably imagining it the same way I was. It was more of a memory from a few years back but somehow, I had the feeling it would be even better than it used to be. After a few seconds, she blinked a few times and took a step back as if she was trying to push away the thoughts, and me at the same time.

"Well, I guess we'll never know." she just said, turning her back to me and putting the clean dishes in the cabinets.

I watched her for about a minute but when she walked past me, I stopped her, putting myself in front of her and holding her arms gently. She didn't dare to look at me as I let my hands slide down until her hands before finally letting her go.

"I loved you, you know."

It was extremely hurtful to admit it out loud. I had spent years trying to convince myself I didn't have those type of feelings for her, and that losing her hadn't been the hardest shit I had to go through, but here I was now, admitting to her that what we had was more than a fling or some light infatuation. It was real, and she needed to know.

I was just not sure I was telling her for the good reason. Did I want her to know she broke me and that I would have done anything for her? Or did I just want to bring her into a guilt trip she may have deserved?

"I know I ruined it, Niall." she finally apologized in a whisper. "I know it's my fault. But I promise my intentions were good, at first. I didn't want you to give your dream up, and-and I thought you would resent Chelsea and I for holding you back. I-I thought you deserved to do what you like, and to become famous. I knew you were talented, I knew you were meant to succeed. I just... I didn't want us to be what would end it all."

No matter what my intentions were, I had managed to make her feel guilty, and for a reason I ignored, it made something stir in my stomach. Her words were genuine, and although the result was horrible, I knew she didn't mean wrong.

"It still hurt, you know." I pointed out, looking away. "When you wouldn't answer my phone calls and text messages I thought.. I thought it was the only way you found to let me know you didn't care about me, that you never really loved me."

I was bitter, I knew it, but I couldn't help thinking I had every right to be.

"I loved you." she quickly confessed, shutting her eyes tight. "I was... I was in love with you. And leaving you was torture. It was probably the most hurtful thing I had to do in my whole life."

There were so many things she didn't know, and I couldn't tell her. The words were stuck in my throat and I ended up trying to swallow them.

"I'm sorry we misunderstood each other so much that it ended up this way."

We remained silent for a few minutes and I finally sighed, closing my eyes for a while and finally opening them again.

"There's some sort of funfair, for Christmas." I explained, nibbling on my bottom lip. "There are games and shows and it ends with fireworks."

It seemed to take her an incredible amount of courage but she turned her head my way and her lips curled a bit.

"Yea, it's okay, you can bring Chelsea."

My heart was heavy when we looked at each other and I licked my lips, nodding.

"Thanks, but I thought we could all go. The three of us."

HER

I was sorry too, so fucking sorry that it all ended up like this. So fucking sorry that I cheated him of so many memories and time with his daughter. So fucking sorry that I made him think I didn't love or care about him. So fucking sorry that what I thought was the right choice turned out to be a fucking big mistake.

When he proposed we'd go all together, I felt guilty and almost refused, but the way he looked at me brought into me a sensation I hadn't felt in a really long time, one I didn't think i'd ever feel again.

I wanted to be close to him, I wanted to know if he could forgive me one day, and I was ready to do anything to get it.

For once, Chelsea and I were ready on time and when the doorbell ranf on the next afternoon, we both rushed to the door. I was glad my daughter hadn't asked any question about Niall, because I wouldn't have known what to answer. I didn't want to lie to her but at the same time, I wasn't ready to tell her who he really was, and I think he wasn't ready either. Besides, i felt like he deserved to be there when she would find out

The door swung open and Niall's eyes met mine before a surprised expression appeared on his face. He looked good, his hands in his pockets and a long scarf around his neck. He was wearing a beanie and I couldn't stop my heart from skipping a beat. He was dressed casually and It made me feel better for dressing up the same.

"Wow, you guys are ready?" he asked, an amused smile appearing on his lips. "If my memory serves me good, it's not in your DNA to be on time."

I raised my nose in a grimace but sent him a smile, knowing he was right and that I clearly couldn't defend myself. Chelsea rushed to Niall and wrapped her arms around his leg. The look on his face was priceless as he looked down at her, holding his breath in. I was endeared by his reaction and I took a step back to give them more space, even if it was useless.

It was not surprising from Chelsea to hug people, but I could see Niall hadn't expected it at all. When she pulled away, he quickly crouched to her level and sent her a genuine smile that she returned.

"So, Chelsea, are you ready?"

She nodded quickly, her eyes getting bigger with excitement.

"And, is your mommy ready too?"

With a glance at me, she quickly looked back at Niall and nodded again, jumping slightly, barely containing her enthusiasm.

The car ride was quite short and we ended up walking in the streets alongside other people trying to enjoy the fair. The first thing Chelsea asked for were fries but after eating a few, she handed the rest to me and begged for a ride on a carousel.

Niall and I leaned against the fence, both of our phones out, taking pictures every time she would pass in front of us. We hadn't really talked much, and with the discussion we had the day before, I was scared it would become awkward between us.

"Chelsea really likes you." I finally just said, waving back at our daughter again.

"She's incredible." he simply answered, not looking at me. "I know It may sound crazy, but I started loving her as soon as I found out she was my daughter."

I felt my lips curl, understanding the feeling a bit too much. Niall was going to be an amazing father, and I swallowed the guilt invading me once again.

"D'you think it's crazy?" he asked, turning to me, his arms crossed on the top of the metal fence.

His eyes seemed to shine and I shook my head slightly, sending him a smile. I moved a bit closer to him and tilted my head, my hair falling on both our arms.

"No, not at all." I admitted in a whisper.

I felt his fingertips brush gently on top of my hand and hold my breath, staring back at him. These moments seemed to happen so often between us that it was starting to drive me insane. Were we cursed to feel that way around each other forever without being able to get anything more? Was I going to lose him a second time? Once again, by my fault?

"I'm amazed that we actually created... her..."

He sighed and looked down, lost in his thoughts, but all I could focus on was the shivers that ran all over my back as his fingers still grazed on my skin. I wanted to answer, but I just didn't know what to say. He looked back up in my eyes and i licked my lips.

"It's a part of you, and a part of me, and now we will always be linked, you know?" he added, this time taking my hand in his and turning his body gently in my direction.

I nodded again, trying in vain to calm the beatings of my heart. He was close again, so fucking close I could feel his warm breath on my face, and I desperately wanted him to kiss me. I wanted to find out if he tasted the same way he used to, if our lips fit together as well as they used to.

He smiled at me and sighed, finally taking a step back, and watching him back away broke my heart. I tried not to show it but it hurt more than a slap in the face. I don't know what I was expecting anyway. Niall and I have been over for years, and although we had both admitted that what we had back then was real, it didn't mean the love we both felt for each other was still alive. The fact that I lied to him probably didn't help things, and I couldn't blame him for wanting to focus on Chelsea. But I was scared. I was scared to fall in love with him again, and realize that he didn't have these feelings for me anymore. I was scared to see him with an other girl, to suffer from having him so close without being able to really be with him. I was scared I could never find someone else like him, someone I would love as hard and as deeply as I loved him.

"Mommy! It was so cool!"

We both turned to watch our daughter step down from the carousel and run to us. She grabbed my hand with both of hers and shook it hard, making me laugh.

"I want to go again! Please!"

I laughed again but Niall quickly bent down to look in her eyes and answered before me.

"There are many more rides to try, do you want to try this one?"

He pointed behind her and we both looked at the ride with hot-air balloons of different colors that seemed to fly. Chelsea's eyes got bigger and she turned back to Niall, nodding quickly and making him laugh. She grabbed his hand and pulled him with her as I followed them, eating a cold fry.

When Chelsea was sitting in the ride, Niall stood next to me, one of his hands in his pocket as he dug his free one in the punnet i was still holding, grimacing when he noticed how cold the fries were.

"She's so happy to be here." I pointed out after throwing the rest of the foor in the nearest trash can.

"I'm happy too." he pointed out. "I'm happy we're all here together."

I sent him a fond smile. He didn't have to add me, but he did, and it meant more to me than I could explain. I tried to push away the fears threatening to invade my mind again. I had to take it day by day, or else I was going to drive myself crazy.

After winning a pink unicorn for Chelsea in a game, Niall brought us near the river. I held Chelsea's hand tight in mine, a bit scared to lose her in the mob of people surrounding us. I noticed she had gripped Niall's hand too and it made me smile. I felt like things would be easier now that i knew she liked him.

Niall crouched down again and immediately, Chelsea gave him all her attention.

"The fireworks are about to start." he pointed out. "Do you want to get on my shoulders?"

I saw her lips curl and she nodded slowly, waiting for his next move. He placed his hands under her arms and pulled her up easily, moving her so she straddles his neck. She held herself on his head and it made me laugh. His hand grabbed her legs and her head moved back to look at the sky. I felt like a simple witness of a new relationship growing right in front of me and i loved it, every seconds of it. I took my phone out of my pocket and took a picture of them together just as the fireworks started. My lips parted when I looked at the picture, barely believing I got to take a picture like that, especially with a phone. I sent it to Niall quickly and started a video to keep a memory of this moment.

I had no idea how i managed to stay so far away from Niall for so long, but having him around in the past two days had made me feel happy in a way I thought I never would again, and seeing him so kind, patient and sweet with Chelsea was an incredible bonus I hadn't expected. If I could go back in time, I wouldn't hide my pregnancy to him. It brought more bad than good. Unfortunately, it was impossible to start over, and I would never find out what would have happened between Niall and I. We could still save the relationship between Niall and Chelsea, and I intended to do anything I could do to make this work. Chelsea deserved a father like Niall, and Niall deserved to be in his daughter's life. I just hoped that somehow, somewhere, there was also a place for me.

#niall horan #niall horan fluff #niall horan story #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fic #niall horan writing #niall #niall fluff #niall fanfic #niall fan fic #niall fic #niall story #niall writing #my fanfics

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playitbyear-laz · 3 years ago

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First off, I wanna thank Kev for giving me the chance to take over this week’s Play It By Ear. Always been a pleasure to talk music and share music w/ you. I just wanted to put together a few songs that I’ve been vibing w/ lately and hopefully there’s some new tunes for ppl to add to their music library. If ppl add at least one song then I feel I did my job :).

PLAY IT BY EAR 039

curated by Drake Green

Link to all platforms HERE.

Witchoo - Durand and the Indications feat. Witchoo

WHERE: I have been following this group for some time now and ironically I just found this song while searching for music for this playlist. They have an album dropping this Friday so i’d you enjoy this, pls tap in

WHY: I just feel this is a great way to start the vibes. w/ everything going on w/ this pandemic, etc. we need some light in our life. and this feels as such. Hope you enjoy the start of this curation.

Chance - Juls, Projexx, & Tay Iwar

WHERE: Afro Beat Music playlist on apple music

WHY: When I first heard this song it moved me in a lot of ways. I was actually on my way to one of my good friends Dejon’s wedding and it made me feel great to play music like this that was light hearted as well free flowing. I actually had this on repeat for a second on my drive. maybe you will too!? if not, that’s okay lol.

Magnolias - Leon Bridges

WHERE: apple music

WHY: so, I played this album last week and this was a clear stand out to me. I felt different when this song came on and I enjoyed it immediately. I felt it embodied everything I’d enjoy from an R&B song mixed w/ heavy 808s. I’m also a fan of Leon Bridges! What’s funny is my family Bam (@obamjr.o aka Mark Samuels) put this on his story the other day and it was dope to know we shared the same excitement over this song.

Wat U Sed - Isaiah Rashad feat. Iamdoechii, Kal Banxx

WHERE: One of my good friend’s Erin (@erinpepper) sent this to me last week. We share a lot of music and she has expanded my music library immensely this year. Thank you for the tunes!

WHY: I wanted to include some rap/hip hop and hoped ppl enjoy. Also, his album drops this week so go tap in if you like it.

ON MY MIND - Snoh Aalegra feat. James Fauntleroy

WHERE: apple music

WHY: I felt this song embodies a lot of emotions we go through over someone that had a special place in our lives. It not only helps you grow but for those ppl who leave a lasting impact in our lives, we tend to always think about them “in my mind, it ain’t over though it’s over”. So, thank you to those ppl who come along in our journey of life and teach us valuable lessons.

Puerto Rico - IDK

WHERE: Honestly, I was anticipating this album. So this is on ya boy lol

WHY: This has great energy. IDK is actually a friend of mine and I think he’s a great artist. i think this song embodies his range. However, i’m all about R&B so i wanted make sure you were enjoyed this vibe and maybe it’ll enhance one of your evenings before the summer comes to a close

Tired of You - Yung Bleu feat. H.E.R.

WHERE: apple music this just came out last week lol

WHY: I’m basically slowing the whole playlist all the way down now. also, fun fact... I know the engineer Nate (@nathansounds) who has been working w/ Yung Bleu for this album and he expressed that the artist comes up w/ each concept with no lines fed to him. how impressive? I thought this song was not only smooth but something to resonate w/. when you’re passionate about someone special but something just isn’t clicking... i think they did a great job executing this type of situation.

Slowdance - Mndsgn

WHERE: I absolutely don’t know

WHY: I felt for my eighth and final song... I wanted to have something smooth and super chill to close out. when i first heard this song it definitely felt good to me and i think it’s something you can enjoy by yourself or w/ that special someone 😉

also, Dame’s album drops next month 😤

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corasohn · 7 years ago

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hey again :))) just catching up on things i was mentioned in sooo this one is the 11 q’s tag and its going under a read more since a few ppl tagged me :-o ! so @bakchangg @artfulkey @dearestjonghyun & @tuuzmorado thank you for tagging me 💗💓💗💞💗💕💕💞💗

bakchangg’s questions

what was the last song you deliberately put on to listen to? peekaboo :3

what do you celebrate at the end of the year, if anything? nothing tbh we just watch the countdown and drink lol

movies or tv shows? tv shows

space or ocean? space !!!

do you have a favorite shirt? yes!!!! i love my girl power shirt or girls supporting girls shirt orrrr my black v neck

last game you played? uhhhh uncharted

did you eat breakfast today? no :///

what is your opinion on socks? theyre nice i love the fuzzy ones in winter and i have pokemon/kpop/sailor moon/animal socks as well so!

whats something you absolutely hate? uncooked onions. godless.

do you think you read fast? kinda but i tend to re read if i go too fast cause then i cant fully understand, you know???

rain or snow? R A I N

bella’s questions

How much sleep do you get? What do you do when you can’t sleep? i dont get alot tbh i tend to stay up and overthink like many others ._. so i actually listen to my nighttime playlist or watch/listen to yoongis vlives/album reviews. His voice really lulls me to sleep soooo !! thanks yoong ^^

What’s your best feature (physical or mental)? my eyes/lips and how open minded i am, but ofc theres probably things im still closed minded about. So slowly im learning/understanding more

What are the top 3 things you admire about your bias and why? which.. one bella.... lmao ok uhmmm ill just go with onew. i admire how considerate he is and how he takes the role of being the oldest/leadr very seriously ;; i adore his understanding towards specific topics that are hard to discuss and his personality is just- he really makes sure youre ok and will always have a shoulder to cry on/friend to depend on :’) idk... hes my first bias and will always be number 1 tbh i just really love him. i want.. i need him to be happy. as long as he’s happy, i am too.

If you could tell your bias anything what would you say? @ namjoon, wear a dangly earring asshol*!!!!!

Whats an album that you haven’t listened to for a while but will always hold a special place in your heart? probably shinees hello or year of us. for hello, lucifer era was when i discovered shinee and hello is still my fav era. and for year of us i just.. really love y.o.u and it was a song that i had on repeat for s u c h a long time!!

Why do you study/work in the area that you do? right now im just attending college and just doing my best lol

If someone wanted to befriend you, what should they do/say? just say hi ghfjhdk you can literally talk to me about anything. me & @mimisgf became friends from talking about harry potter and the houses kjhgfkd not even kpop lmao. but then we discussed who in nct would belong in what house haha so yeah just send a message about anything really!

Out of the people that you know irl or online, who is the most similar to your bias and why? no one really lol but, me and my cousins/sisters just joke about my one cousin whos a virgo saying like “wow, you’re really like joon.. he’d do this...” “virgo antics” “you’re just as clumsy as joon lmao ” stuff like that but shes like “lol i know.”

If you could drastically change one thing about your life with no negative consequences what would you change? my mom grandma/grandpa to talk to us in spanish and english ._. my mom wanted us to be bilingual or tri but my grandpa told her we didnt need to learn spanish and that we should just know english so... yeah.. ://

You have the opportunity to spend the day with your bias in your hometown. What do you do/where do you go with them? well for all 3 its the same but, specifically for nam i’d take him to this one huge parking lot that you can see a really nice view of the city or this tall hill in south sf with a great view as well ^^

Post a selfie (of yourself or your bias) that you love. :-)))))) this is a fav. its the first pic i saved of him :-D (wait. let me just say rn i emailed the pic to paste it in here & i expected to see only that pic but there was another one sent with it jhgfjldhf plssss wtf i didnt even choose the other one lmao😂😂😂😂 ill put the other one too... why not.)

[look at this loser. cutie ._.]

jenny’s questions

Who is your bias kpop group and when did you discover them? SHINee/Bangtan ! shinee, i discovered them when the lucifer mv literally dropped lol. And i found bts when no more dream mv was released. But i did see/watched that video of them acting crazy in their old studio where they always released their diary logs many times but i just didnt know how to search for them back then lol

What is your favourite hair colour on your bias? Provide example/s I will enjoy them. if youre a fan of pinkmon well.. :)))))) if not, welp, you are now!

ok the last one doesnt really do justice but LISTEN!! its pinkmon.!

3. Who are your favourite vocalists? jonghyun ;; and luna ! 4. Favourite female soloist for research purposes… suran hyuna sunmi and ailee!!! dont make me pick only one :((( 5. When did you first get into kpop? 2009 but officially in 2010 6. Do you consider yourself a part of many fandoms? not really tbh, i mean, i stan but im not really part of alot of fandoms.. 7. Favourite none kpop hobby? i like to read up on astrology 8. What is the best book you’ve ever read? Why? probably the book of birthdays. ngl. it has so much info on zodiac signs and it tells you about your birth number, health, and realtionships with others ^^ 9. Is there any piece of art that means something special to you? i dont have one at the moment but i hope one day ill find one. art in general is really inspiring and beautiful. 10. Have you traveled outside your home country before? Where would you want to go? i have not, sadly T.T but id like to go to mexico or japan :D or soemwhere in europe! 11. If you could live in any other time, when would you? im actually ok with the time im in now haha i dont really wanna experience the past/future tbh.

lu’s questions

1. Post one of your most loved pictures of your bias and say what you like about the picture.

ok it took forever to find it but its not really this picture... its another one, but in a different angle. Anyways this is one of my fav pics of namjoon cute :3

2. Post one picture of your female bias and explain what made her your bias.

tbh it was both of these pictures that made me bias her even more but joy is my bias ever since i watched their 1st appearance on weekly idol. i thought id bias wendy when they debuted but its joy :D 3. If you could pick 6 idols to make a collaboration who would you pick and what song? hmmm i actually just wanted a btshinee collab but with more members this time ;; but i also would like to see rapline with stray kids rapline aka 3racha! and the song would be self-made. i would like to see what type of song theyd create together! ^^ like chan and namjoon working on song and changbin with yoongi sharing their lyrics with each other while hobi and jisung discuss the flow of the rap and more. it would be nice to see bts rapline give pointers/advice basiaclly share their wisdom with the kids :’) 4. What song was the catchiest for you this year? peekaboo 5. You favorite hair color in your biases (male and female)? Post pictures! refer to the picture of dark haired nam and icc era of joy lol those are my fav hair colors on them (but pinkmon is also a fav...) 6. Where would you travel for your dream vacation? mexico, somewhere in europe or in asia! 7. In your opinion what comeback was underrated? tell me what to do/just one day :((((( 8. What’s your favorite food? i... love all food.... 9. From your favorite kpop album this year, which song would you have picked as a title track or a second promotional track? bangtans gogo as a second promotional track tbqh!!! idk for a title track... dna was good. 10. What’s your favorite choreography of a girl group this year? hhhhhhhhh twice likey <3 11. Taemin’s MOVE or Sunmi’s Gashina? XDDDDDD BOTH!!!!!!! i cant choose o n e

thank you all for mentioning me ^^ & here are my questions:

Favorite outfit on your bias from any era ^^ pls put a few pics :D

A song or a video that helps you sleep?

What idol interation did/do you want last/this year?

Is there a favorite cover song you like from your fav group(s)?

What color do you think your bias looks the best in?

Top 5 songs that you have been listening to non stop in 2017?

If someone in your fav group can go solo or start a unit, who would you want it to be?

Any songs you want to rec others to listen to (kpop/non-kpop)?

Top 10 blogs you enjoy seeing on tumblr?

Your opinion on drop earrings/ripped jeans/chokers?

Whats one goal you wish to accomplish for 2018?

i tag: @zorizo @jhopesesposa @jungjaehyu @petalhero @jjongcakes @jjongeyed @dksangel @peachyungwons @jenniesgaygf @kebinwooo @spiedermans @fleur-de-jinki @tofnew @officialexo @shuaday @oboreruknife @sehunstiddies-l @oddtape

#fuckjohnnymentions #thank you for tagging meeeeeee ;;;;;;;;;;;#<3<3<3

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quadratic-shipping · 5 years ago

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Kay, new icon is Vriska’s dice cause the gradient was lame, and every Vriska blog halfway to sunday has already had every photo of her face as their icon twice. It also works cause of yknow liking dnd and stuff. one thing I really liked about my last vriska pic one was the negative space made it feel like it popped and I feel like this one has sort of the same thing going for it. Wow, it can be that deep. I’m just rambling cause it’s 3am and yet again I have stayed up this long. I can;t wait til it’s winter again so I can force myself back into a normal sleep schedule. I stayed up all night a couple nights ago, and that gave me one decent night of sleep so I might just try that again tonight. Rest put under the readmore because it’s irrelevant and sleep deprived rambling I wouldn’t dare subject my beautiful followers and browsers to.

While I’m here, posting a late night thing no one will see or interact with; thank god; I was cleaning and I came across one of those neck warmer things that legit just a tube you pull up your face to keep your nose from freezing off because Canada Winters, I never can use them because I always fog up my glasses, and I just wanted to say that Niqabi gals with glasses are so brave? Legit if I had to deal with my glasses fogging up I’d die, I’d rather lose my nose to frostbite than fog them up (like I go outside enough loll) so for them to deal with that everyday is like, legendary. I mean, I guess if you were pretty antisocial you wouldn’t have to deal with it much but still, point totally stands.

While we’re on the positivity train? Lesbians? y’all really like Vriska HUH? Thank you for interacting, I appreciate, yall are so valid. I’m torn between “You have good taste” jokes and “Yall will just like anything w/ vriska in it” and either way it takes too strong a stance on my own content to feel good about it. Obvs goes the same way for all the NB and Trans ppl interacting, yall are also Excellent and I appreciate yall. Obvs I’m cis so I don’t have any real godtier takes or anything abt. gender, but reading your guyss stuff is excellent please keep making it.

Uh sexuality update; Still labelling as bi, IDK if I really want to date men tho, before I actually and FINALLY get a taste of the other side; please; because I feel like the problem with my relationships re; dudes is just that I can’t just be myself, I’m just 900000% in my own head about it and not even like; trying to be idealized, idk whats going on I just have a hard time connecting w/ them and it’s defo my fault so idk bro. IDK it’s fun to have crushes but dating is BORING from my very limited experience with only guys which is why a gf would be excellent. Or girl aligned partner. I feel like maybe what I’m attracted to is like, femininity, not necessarily femmes or women. IDK bruh it’s weird. doesn’t help I can’t even figure out how to get and keep friends LOLLL it’s 3am. Sorry

Honestly before I started vrisrose posting I felt so useless yknow cause in the vriska circles there are a lot of intelligent people who understand canon better and are overall smarter and better spoken so I just felt like everything I had to say was just old hat and not very interesting. But the thing I like about VrisRose is no one else is talking about it as frequently ( I was searching the tag and my blog came up in the recco’s for blogs up top and I was very happy) so I feel like, hey, this is my niche. That one engineer of useless inventions quote: The best way to become top of your field is to specialize:, I jsut love rarepairs so much! I think it’s such a great way to approach character analysis because no one exists in a vaccum so seeing peoples interactions and what people like is so fun!!!! I say, invalidating all my personal issues lollll

CHARACTER ANALYSIS! FUCK TALKING ABOUT INTERACTIONS OR ACTIONS ON THEIR OWN OR THOUGHTS OR HC’S, I STAND BY MY ONE TAAKO ‘vriska did nothing wrong’ QUOTE; Trying to understand what characters morals, and their opinions on certain things by analyzing their opinions and interactions in canon is 500x more productive seeming to me than other things. Like, say taako’s thoughts about vriska, V and Lucretia are p similar actions wise, and he was pissed at her but that was mostly cause of the personal connections, when it doesn’t affect him Taako doesn’t seem to have any moral objections to any of the icky moral stuff; think robot planet or whatevs where they were gonna genocide the place and lup was like no and that was like the only reason he didn’t I’m pretty sure, I’m not too big brained on taako or adventurezone either so don’t take my word; So I think that Taak’s would be chill with Vriska. Another thing? The Lucretia thing was like, giving up which Taako is not ok with and Vriska thigns were about not giving up so I do legit think he would be totally coool with her, even if she were real, unless obvs she hurt one of the seven bird red robe people and their new friends.

ISN;T THAT SUCH A FUN METHOD OF CHARACTER ANALYSIS? I’m not drunk or in an altered state just tired enthusiastic and with a lot of pent up thoughts. Speaking of which, this song just came on it’s “Slowdance with you” by the Marcus Hedges Trend Orchestra and it is SOOOOO good, it’s on a vrisrezi playlist I put on bc I’m rereading song of the pyre because it was vriska day and it’s super good soo so good. It’s on loop now, legit best

Quick detours before I lay out some more hs thoughts;

Overwatch:

-Ben “Captainplanet” came out w/ a new article and I LOVE IT so much and I want hhis job so bad I wanna get into stats so much ahhh please so good it’s giving me a , this is crude but it’s the best way I can phrase it, a math erection. I love math so much <33333333

-The Shock, my faves, are doing well and I’m happy for them! I hope they go 7-0, I believe in them! I’m lying I am so fucking nervous for literally every match they have they’re gonna 2-5 AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Why am I so INVESTED? They technically could take first spot but that’s require titan’s to lose every match left and the shock to 7-0, but the thing is I thought that I wanted that but

-then I watched the titans london match today, and I HATED the thought of titans losing. And losing so hard to other teams too, and I didn’t realize this but I think I do actually kinda like the titans?The thought of them not being a great team makes me sad. I think it’s like I really like them and shock as rivals, yknow, stage one and two, then this upcoming map? If Titans aren’t still Good in this meta it just sorta makes their rivalry not fun. Kismesis vibes is what I’m gonna say cause I’m TRASSSHHHHH pls stop my terrible hands from typing also if I ever saw actual ship stuff I would kill whoever made it. Like I’m not gonna check their socials or anything but if they’ve got a match against most teams I’d probs root for them. The Wolf section today was so funny lollll

-I think I might hate the London Spitfire. I have literally no reason to? I think all the players are good and I like them as people and I would never actively hate on them? But I’m like. Really mean to them in my head. I was so satisfied seeing htem lose to Florida, and Titans like IDK? Also they’re hella overrated so anticlutch jfc. Hate the franchise, love the players if that makes sense. IDK WHYYYYYYYYYYY

-Also I’m gonna miss tomorrows shock match and I’m so scared rip.

Misc:

-Tripped backwards and somehow upturned my moms glass scale and it fell on my foot, that shit hurted.

-Oh My God I’m Projecting a million different things right now because I feel like this will not have an audience if you see this I’m begging you please don’t interact I’d die of embarassment keep the fact you’ve seen this a secret from me

HS:

-JFC song of the pyre is an excellent fic, I wish it would ever get updated it’s so fucking good guys

-I need to read more vrisrezi long form

-Non-sgrub vrisrezi is best vrisrezi

-My ideal Vrisrezi au would be like HS canon, diverge into non-sgrub and they completely fall out of touch, Killing Eve season 1, then Song of the Pyre. THAT is what I want.

-Killing eve season one and two would be an even BETTER VRISROSE AU AHHHHHH

-I once read a very good trollstuck rose but it was an eri-rose ship so basically what I want is that persons troll rose but paired with vriska. For how much I blog about it I’ve read very little vrisrose fic but almost everything I know comes from this fic. . Oh uh this is not the erirose fic that I read w trollstuck although it does unfortunately have erirose but I can excuse it when the vrisrose is this Excellent

Alright I’ve run out of hyper juice, have a nice night, sorry for posting thisssss

bye

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taesthetes · 7 years ago

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vn army anon sending u some love ♡ that's good u hang out a lot! what fun did u do together last time u saw each other? taeyeon is srsly so beautiful&talented; stan talent, stan singers like taeyeon👏🏻 I've already pre-ordered 'her' (had a hard time deciding whether buying the set but I did it eventually&now my bank acc is crying;-;). are u gonna buy the set or an individual album? omg yees I can name the whole list of heize's songs lol. but my all time faves are Star, And July ft. DEAN (he's–

–also great, one of my top male soloists!) or Don’t Come Back but her album /// (You, Clouds, Rain) is great overall! it has a mellow&relaxing vibe, perfect on rainy days&lonely nights~ u should also check out her mvs bc they’re so aesthetic i love them! jun ji hyun recently starred in a fantasy/rom-com drama titled legend of the blue sea with lee min ho and I did like this one bc it was srsly so funny I recommend it! u can watch the trailer first, she plays a mermaid who’s new to the human–

–world so it’s funny watching her acting being silly😂 oh cool u also played basketball?? and that’s awesome, gosh I admire talented artists like wow how can some ppl be so frickin talented! did u post any of ur works on ur blog? and what do u usually like to paint/draw? I used to draw a lot when I was a kid, not sure if I’ll get back to it tho, haven’t drawn in ages. it’d be hella awesome if we were in the same net^^~ also I changed my mobile theme&about me page finally after a century😂

–sounds&looks a bit depressingly tho😅 oh good news, my laptop is totally useless-which doesn’t sound like good news but–therefore I’m gonna get a new one so sis told me she’ll buy me a new macbook (she wanted to give it to me as a present next year when I’ll graduate but now that my current one died lol she’ll give it to me now) so I’m gonna get it next week&I’m so excited I’ll finally get to work on this gfx I had an idea in my head~ what did u do staying up so late?? it’s 3:11 am here now😅

–and it’s totally fine! answer me whenever u want, petal! good luck in moving into ur dorm! omg I also dislike the sun! not entirely dislike but I do prefer cooler/rainy weather more than extremely hot&sunny one. changing colors of leaves+windy rainy weather is my aesthetic☺️ also I like fall bc I love drinking hot tea in my cozy blanket on cold rainy days enjoying a good show/movie/book&spring bc it’s the season of rebirth, awakening, flowers blooming&birds singing, the season of innocence,–

–tenderness&fragility. aah I also adore dogs-I’m def a dog person!-and sushi is delicious~ & I like oversized shirts/jumpers too! other things that make me happy I can think of are rainfall, space (stars, moon, etc.), the sound of the piano, tasty food, bangtan&ofc min yoongi💞 also saw ur selfie and omgadffjdhjkddjk ur so pretty cute☺️💖 it’s 3:42 am now so I’m off to sleep🌙 goodnight, petal 💫🌸

hi, raindrop!! sending you lots of love and hugs back!! 💞💞 well, we’ve been binge watching criminal minds together along with watching all of 13 reasons why for the past couple of weeks! and we went on a city day trip last week :D omg yes, stan taeyeon if you want to stan beauty, talent, and overall, an ethereal goddess 💖💖💖 omg you bought the entire set?? rip your bank account D: i think i’ll only buy one album because i’m not ready to give bighit all my money ahaha– but i still haven’t ordered yet akjsdfas (i’m currently taking a break from packing and will probably buy it once i settle into my dorm tomorrow)

i just made a new playlist with those songs and am listening to them now!! i’m currently listening to And July and i really like it so far! DEAN also did a song with taeyeon (starlight) and i really liked his voice in that one, too! if you have any other song suggestions, i’d love to hear them!! and i’ll make sure to check out her mv’s after i finish packing everything 😅 oooh omg, i’ve heard of legend of the blue sea! my friends who watch kdramas really enjoyed it a lot as well, so i’ll make sure to add it to my list :D i think i might watch that one first since it seems to be more comedic in comparison to the other kdramas on my list.

yes, i played basketball! i used to do a few sports and dances before, but i stopped now. omg yeah, i absolutely adore any artist because it’s so amazing how they are able to put a piece of themselves on canvas so freely? like they’re putting themselves out there for everyone to see. and no, unfortunately, i don’t have any of my pieces posted on my blog- i can take a picture of a few and put add them in here when i get the chance!! i usually enjoy drawing/painting inanimate objects because i’m really terrible at drawing people realistically aha, but abstract art is also so much fun to make as well! drawing is really relaxing and stress relieving for me, so maybe it’ll also be relaxing for you if you decide to pick it up again? :D

yeah, it would be!! i’m searching for a couple tae, yoongi, or hyung line nets to join, so maybe we’ll be in the same network in the future? :D ahhhh, i wish i could see them, but i’m sure they’re really pretty!! i haven’t touched my about page in over a year.. i should probably change it up sometime. omg congrats!!! 🎉🎉 my sister also bought me a mac when i graduated, too; i guess that’s a perk of having an older sister ahaha and i’m so happy for you! hopefully, everything goes more smoothly with your new laptop and you can make as many gfx and gifs to your heart’s content 💗💗

i stayed up watching law and order: special victims unit and eating carrots with hummus 😅 i better fix my sleep schedule asap though or else i’m gonna be a mess and sleeping in my classes ahhh. omg what did you do so late?

and thank you!!! i’m excited, but also sad to leave my bed aha. yes, that is me exactly! i hate feeling so hot and sweaty during the warm weather, and that’s my favorite pastime during cold, rainy weather as well!! sipping hot tea with a good book in hand and in fluffy pajamas and a nice, warm blanket 💛 aksjdfhals but the way you describe each season is so pretty omg wow 💓🌸

i absolutely love animals in general ahhh i want a dog and cat in the future so badly. do you have a dog or any pets? :D and yes omg sushi is very delicious and i’m craving it now ajshdflja and oversized clothes is so nice and comfy, i love them a lot. oooh omg all those make me really happy, too! the sound of rain and feeling water pattering against your skin is so nice, and of course, space is just so magical and i love looking at the moon and stars at night. do you play the piano? and yes, food never fails to make me happy, too, and of course, mr. min suga and the rest of bangtan 💘💘

and thank you so much, raindrop!! akljhfalsk you’re making me blush so much 💕�� and good night, raindrop! good night, sleep tight, don’t let the (rap) monsters bite, dream of food and dogs tonight ✨💤

#replies #anonymous #vn army anon

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