#and then i just end up scrolling and staring and bookmarking for HOURS

[shadouko]

once you get the hang of it, drawing furries is so much fun.... oddly enough i find collecting references the most fun

[ohnococo]

Gunshow |Toji Fushiguro x F!Reader

Summary: Reader settles in for a quiet night of people watching, deals with some unwanted advances, and has an encounter with a very handsome and very dangerous man.

Notes: Toji fucks reader with a gun, don't say I didn't warn you.

Warnings: Explicit Sexual Content, Gunplay/Gun Kink, Porn With Plot, Bad Flirting, Some OCs, Violence, Cunnilingus, Vaginal Sex, Creampie, One Night Stands, People Watching

MINORS DNI/18+ ONLY

As you enter your local haunt, the crowd is a predictable mix of familiar faces, familiar faces plus one, and a decent helping of newbies either on their own or in intimate gatherings. It’s a nice place to spend a weeknight, somewhere to unwind and at least be around other people, even if you have no intention of speaking to any of them. Besides, it feels a little less lonely to drink in a room of strangers versus on your own. A more acceptable way to put an end to a stressful day - in your mind at least.

Just like many evenings before this one, you order a drink, pay, and gesture to a table once the bartender starts on your drink. It's a nice spot near enough to the bar but far enough from the entrance that the cool night air won’t reach you as people come and go, and you’re grateful it’s still available for you despite the prime location. Once seated and waiting, your evening ritual starts as it always does: you open your book, tucking the receipt you’d used as a bookmark somewhere into the back pages, and make a start at the chapter you’d left off at.

It’s a formality, really, a display of productivity even in the face of the inevitable. Soon enough the inevitable meets you head on as you find yourself scanning the same paragraphs over and over, not quite processing them, before you give in to people watching as you always do. The thought flutters through your distracted mind of if the other regulars noticed how long you seemed to be stuck on the same book, but you didn’t really mind them making the same kinds of judgements about you that you did about them. It was only fair that you might entertain them as others had entertained you.

Your small but harmless voyeuristic streak puts you in good company in a place like this, there were always a few people dotted around here going in and out of their own little worlds - readers, writers, first dates, late night workers softening the sting of excessive overtime with a drink to nurse through the hours. Perfectly anonymous but perfectly friendly. So you lower the book to rest on the table, still holding it open for the sake of pretence, and take in tonight’s crowd in closer detail.

Vodka Cran, the university student who usually came in earlier in the night to finish up work, and ended her session with a vodka cran as a post-work pregame. She was originally Rainbow Glasses to you because of her habit of coordinating her rotating pairs of oversized glasses to her colourful outfits, but in the end Vodka Cran just sounded cuter.

First Date Andy, the guy who brought all of his first dates here. You were rooting for him, you really were, especially for the dates that he was extra fidgety for. Unfortunately the lack of confidence was always palpable, even from across the bar.

The Debbies, a group of older women who met weekly for a quiet chat and a few G&Ts. Their namesake was more their actual names as at least two of them would be greeted with a cheery “hiya Deb!”

Then you moved onto the less familiar faces, looking for someone who might be somewhat interesting: another student looking bleary-eyed and typing away on his laptop, a businessman with his suit jacket draped over the back of his chair scrolling through his full-brightness phone, an older woman with a glass of barely-touched wine staring out at the streetlights through the front of the establishment.

Then, your eyes settle on a man perched atop one of the stools at the tall tables in the back of the bar. His appearance is striking enough that your glances become much less covert. He isn’t doing anything inherently more interesting than anyone else there, just sitting alone with a drink in his hand and reading through something on his phone. Still, you find yourself immediately captivated.

People watching very rarely turned into ogling for you but this time you just can’t help yourself, only moving your eyes away when the bartender sets your drink down in front of you, on top of a small black cocktail napkin. You thank them, shutting your book and forgetting to move your makeshift bookmark back in place as you do, sliding the drink in front of you to cradle your hands round as you peek back at the man. You counted yourself lucky that you already happened to be sitting facing him or you’d have embarrassed yourself with how your eyes looked him up and down, you were even more lucky that he was sitting so you were only seeing him from the side, head on and he surely could have noticed the intensity of your gaze.

Even in profile he’s eye-catching: tall, dressed casually in all black, dark hair only kept out of his eyes by his long lashes, but most of all you notice just how strong he looks. His shirt isn’t even that tight, hanging loosely over what you just know would be a trim waist, but his shoulders and arms are absolutely making themselves a spectacle, pulling the fabric taut over their girth. Unwilling to fully give in to being a creep, you force your attention back onto his face and you can just make out a small scar across his lips. You wonder how he got it, mind ready to build little stories around him as it did with most strangers.

Had he gotten into a fight? Maybe the scar was proof they weren’t just glamour muscles and that he knew just how to use them. Surely he was strong enough to beat most anyone? Or maybe he fell out of a tall tree as a kid, was he the adventurous type? Your thoughts are halted as he glances over in your direction and you quickly avert your gaze, looking towards the entrance as you take a sip of your drink.

While you busy yourself looking elsewhere, your heart beats a little faster: both from how attractive the newcomer is and from the embarrassment of nearly being caught watching him. Even as you glance around the room in the general direction of others, your mind is on him. You’d have liked to have seen what the man ordered to drink, to maybe use that to make a slightly different judgement on his character and redeem yourself for objectifying a complete stranger, but his hands were large enough that they’d been obscuring the liquid in the glass he had in front of him. At the end of the day though, people watching was very much a superficial sport, so the man’s incredible physique remains the basis of his nickname tonight (and possibly future nights, should you be lucky enough to ogle him again). Gunshow.

Just as you start to risk glancing back in Gunshow’s direction, the door to the bar opens and in walks a man already making a spectacle of himself. He’s small, red-faced, dressed in what you assume is his finest night out attire, and smiling as though he’d already been cackling at whatever internal monologue was driving his actions - all things you objectively have no problem with. You understand just how many possibly unfair judgments you could sit there making of people and try to generally keep any nicknames positive, but you have a hunch the man isn’t deserving of such grace as he makes his way to the bar, smacks his hand against it impatiently, and asks for “something expensive.”

Everything about him seems to telegraph that he had not picked up on the vibe of the place he was walking into.

It happens occasionally, this is a place that serves alcohol and is open fairly late into the night. People stumble in mid bar crawl, having wandered a block or so away from where the real nightlife is around here. Or someone gets a little far into their pregame before moving onto a more lively location. Eventually though, they leave. It’s a fine place for quiet nights and introverts, not so much for someone looking to party. You can only hope he’ll get the picture sooner rather than later so you can return to your more pleasant daydreams.

As he waits for his drink, he turns his attention to the nearest pair of girls, sending a double brow raise and a small greeting of a head tilt in their direction. He doesn’t seem to notice that the attention is not returned as he receives his drink and throws a few bills on the bar instead of placing it in the barkeep’s waiting hand. He finishes half the drink in the few steps it takes for him to insert himself into the group, and your nickname is solidified. Dickhead.

Even halfway across the room you can hear him asking how they’re doing, directing compliments on their bodies at no specific person, casting a wide net. Though much younger than him, the girls waste no time entertaining his antics. One girl moves herself to stand slightly in front of the other, and whatever she says has him frowning, lower lip poked out as he gives his best puppy dog eyes. He seems to start bargaining as the other girl shakes her head, rolling her eyes and waving him away. Finally, the first girl puts her hand in his face, loudly and firmly dismissing him.

Fortunately the direct approach works as he backs away, tossing out a retraction to his earlier unwanted compliments as the girls ignore him. Unfortunately for every other female-presenting person in the bar his confidence doesn’t quite seem to be knocked as he then approaches another patron. This time it’s a girl who is alone and seems to have been actually reading, unlike you. He seats himself in front of her, waving his hand between her face and her book and beginning a second attempt.

Even with how much of a show Dickhead is making of himself, you find it easy to look away from him when you feel your twinge of annoyance at the antics start to add an unpleasant edge to the relaxing you’d come out to do. Scanning across the crowd you see those in the room who weren’t locked in conversation sneaking furtive glances at him too, probably also hoping the man would leave sooner rather than later. Resting your eyes on the spot you’d given a bit too much focus on earlier you’re slightly disappointed to find the seat empty, but the smallest bit of excitement simmers in your stomach when you see the drink was basically full. Maybe Gunshow would come back? Had he gone to the bathroom? Or dipped out for a cigarette? Would the smell of smoke put you off approaching him?

You smile to yourself for entertaining the thought, as though you might have eventually built up the motivation to go speak to him. Not here, not tonight (not any night). There were already enough unwanted advances being thrown around.

The squeak of a chair dragging across the floor pulls you from your thoughts and you see the woman Dickhead was speaking to stand and begin tucking her book back into her bag. He’s still talking even as she prepares to leave until she takes a page out of the earlier girl’s book, putting her hand up in his face and loudly asserting that she had a boyfriend. Maybe she did, maybe she didn’t, but at least it seemed to get the man to give her another sad look and leave her be as she walks out in a huff. You avert your gaze, as do most women near you, turning their attention back to their books, phones, or friends, as you all are briefly connected with an unspoken wish that the guy would leave you all the fuck alone.

His eyes lock with yours for just a second as you take a gravely miscalculated risk trying to see what his next move was and you groan as you look down, already caught as he begins approaching you. You didn’t appreciate a spot on this guy’s hit list any more than you’d appreciated him completely wrecking the usual soothing hum of low chatter that had come to be your favourite way to unwind for months now.

“Heyyyy.”

With just that one greeting it’s as if he’s speaking to you like he knows you. He certainly doesn’t know you, and won’t be getting to know you tonight as you’re quick to show him you aren’t willing to entertain him. You give him a once over fast enough to show he wasn’t worth looking at much longer than that before rolling your eyes as you fix them in a general direction clearly away from him. As with the others before you, he doesn’t get the memo (or more likely chooses to ignore it) and sets the remains of his drink down at your table before seating himself across from you.

“Want a drink?” The previous handful of rejections have somehow made him bolder as he waves his hand towards the bar before you even have a chance to reply.

“I have a drink.” You shake your head at the approaching bartender, who shrugs and goes back to leaning against the bar.

“Aw, too bad. I got money to burn tonight.” It was said with a happy lilt that made it clear he thought the mention of money would certainly win you over. It did not.

“Go burn it somewhere else.”

He laughs like you made some kind of joke, or like he wasn’t even listening, then tries to rest his hand on yours. He doesn’t get the chance to make contact before you’re snatching your hand away and putting it in his face, effectively serving him a hattrick of similar rejections. “I’m trying to have a quiet night, so you can leave me alone now.”

“All alone? In a bar? C’mon now.”

You serve him yet another eyeroll, accompanied by a scoff for good measure. “I’m not interested. I’m not going to be interested. So let me finish my drink. Alone.”

“You got a boyfriend or something?”

“No, and I don’t want one.”

“How about just a friend?”

You’ve had enough, so you say your mental goodbyes as you collect your things - goodbye to the calm evening intended to clear your head, goodbye to the other half of your drink, goodbye Gunshow, and definitely goodbye to Dickhead. Unfortunately Dickhead decides he won’t take a third rejection and stands too, starting to follow you as you walk out - unashamed of basically begging his way right through the bar even as you approach the door.

“I just wanna talk.”

You’re so focused on getting out (and hopefully not having to take the long and loud route home to avoid this asshole following you) that you don’t even notice the man heading you both off at the pass, making himself known once your hand touches the handle of the door.

“I don’t think they want to talk to you.”

The voice has both you and Dickhead snapping your heads to look at who had decided to join your conversation, and Dickhead is a fraction enough quicker that you see the terror on his face before you turn to see Gunshow had indeed returned. And returned to save you an even bigger hassle than you were already dealing with, it seemed.

“How about the two of us talk instead?” Gunshow puts his hand on Dickhead’s shoulder, just shy of his neck. It’s as if he’s grabbing him by the scruff as the smaller man is immediately overcome with a barely perceptible tremor.

“I- I-“ he’s suddenly much less wordy, apparently not so brave when dealing with other men.

“Let’s go.” Gunshow guides the man out the door, and you’re left standing in the bar just as shocked and confused as Dickhead looks as he’s pushed out the door. As the door slowly shuts behind them, Gunshow shoots you a smile that has the blood rushing to your face as he gives his parting words, “You have a good night.”

The door closes, and with them walking away it’s as if the half of the bar breathes a collective sigh of relief and returns to their evening, something you’re now free to do as well thanks to the mysterious man.

You stand there, stuck between two minds. What would happen to Dickhead? Would he just get walked down the block and told to fuck off? Or herded to a bar much more likely to match his energy for the evening? Somehow there was something more to that interaction than met the eye, like it wasn’t just Gunshow being a Good Samaritan. You know you should just sit back down and continue your evening as planned, content with wondering over the event until it becomes a footnote. Then again, you’d never been one to mind your business, so you make your mind up to satisfy your curiosity of at least seeing where they were going and walk out into the night.

As you look down the empty street, wondering if they’d already turned down one of the many side roads, a million thoughts rush through your head. What would you say if you did catch up to them? ‘Thank you’ to Gunshow and ‘Fuck you’ to Dickhead? Were you just going to ruin the mystique of the man? Had he really come to save you? Of the thoughts you’d toyed with surrounding the man’s character, should knight in shining armour have been one of them?

Then, you hear a loud clang and a man yelping, followed by what you could already recognize as Gunshow.

“You’re really out here spending my money?”

Oh.

That makes the interaction seem less heroic and more frightening, as the logical side of your brain tries to will you to turn around and take the long way home. Instead, you take unsteady steps towards where the sound came from, the side alley next to the bar, until you freeze as you peek round the corner and the two men come into view.

Dickhead was lying against a dumpster, dented from what was presumably the impact you’d just heard before. Gunshow was standing over him, letting out a sigh not dissimilar to each of the women he’d already wasted the time of this evening. He backhands him - a move so small that still manages to leave the man bleeding. How much money had this man taken that he was getting his ass beat about 4 feet from a public street?

“What the fuck, what the fuck-“ he’s frantic, taking the pause in violence as a chance to speak, “Were you following me?!”

Gunshow is only amused, “Actually, no. I hadn’t gotten around to that yet.” He crouches down slowly, and Dickhead puts his hands out as if that alone would stop him. “But here you are.”

“Look I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was you, I just knew I was supposed to meet someone to give them the rest of the money and-“

“And ran off instead?”

Gunshow laughs, amused by his audacity. Dickhead laughs too, as if silently forced, but his eyes remain steady on the larger man in front of him, terrified.

“Toji I mean it, I wouldn’t have done it if I knew it was-“

Gunshow, or Toji as you’d now learned, backhands Dickhead again and it occurs to you that with this information it was probably time to back away slowly. Instead, you pause a moment more as Toji takes out his annoyance on the man in front of him. You’d seen your share of violence before, drunken brawls especially, but this was different. The man was calm, almost too calm, but then again it seemed just that easy as he left the man beneath him bloodied with just a few open-handed slaps.

Worryingly, you can’t quite find the will to walk away. Even more worryingly, as Gunshow’s muscles tense and flex with each hit, forearms freed from the sleeves he must’ve rolled up while dragging Dickhead around the corner, you find the previous wave of fear draining away for something very much not in line with self preservation. It isn’t the time for people-watching, and it absolutely isn’t the time for being so unbelievably thirsty but your feet aren’t becoming any less glued to their spot.

Dickhead seems to not have the same hesitation as he gathers the strength within the barrage of hits he was taking to try and run, only to be grabbed by his shirt and hauled up to meet Toji’s eyes.

Any sense of satisfaction you might have gotten out of Dickhead being put in his place is drowned in fear that you would be a potential witness to the onslaught as Toji reaches behind himself, pushing his shirt up to pull a gun from his waistband.

It’s as if you’re not in your body, unable to fathom what’s happening in front of you anymore than you can fathom you still sticking around to watch despite very much not wanting to watch a man die.

“You don’t pay people what you owe them, you don’t answer your phone, you harass random women, is there anything about you that isn’t annoying?”

“I can pay you tomorrow, I just have to-“

He moves so fast you only see a flash of metal before the smaller man is sent reeling by the blow, whimpering and putting his hands out to keep his already bloodied face from meeting the pavement. It doesn’t have an opportunity to as he’s caught by the collar of his shirt before he hits the ground. Another pathetic noise is let loose as he’s slammed against the dumpster again.

“You can pay me now. If I have to track you down again, I won’t be this gentle with you.”

He called this gentle?

“You call this gentle!?”

A flash of annoyance briefly overcomes your state of shock as you’re met with a strong distaste for even having a fleeting thought in common with the guy, but the laugh his attacker lets out has you breathless yet again, licking your lips as if you could taste the sound on the air.

“Do you want to find out how rough I can be?” He hits the man again with the gun, not giving him time to recover as the blows continue until he’s screaming out for mercy.

“My coat! It’s in my coat! Please! It’s all in here!” The ‘please’ is unnecessary as Toji is already rifling through his pockets before the sentence is even finished. He takes a few steps back to count the bills he’d collected, surprisingly adept considering he was doing it with a gun still in hand.

He raises a brow as he finishes flipping through the small folded bills and the smaller man is immediately emptying his pants pockets, shaking as he begins uncrumpling the money and attempting to flatten it as much as possible before Toji rips it from his hands and adds it to his handful. “Hm, lucky you.”

He makes a neat stack and folds it before pocketing it, waving the gun in the general direction of the street to dismiss the bleeding man in front of him, who wastes no time in fleeing the alleyway. You back up and try to flatten yourself against the brick facade of the bar as Dickhead exits the alley and trips over his own feet a few times on the way down the road. You’re grateful he hadn’t noticed you as he ran the opposite direction of the corner you were hiding against, and as you take quiet steps back to try to finally leave the scene you realise you were celebrating a bit too soon.

“Did you enjoy the show?”

You freeze, and jump as you look back and see Toji was already rounding the corner, closing the distance between the two of you. There’s a small sense of relief that the gun is nowhere to be seen as he approaches you, but you were only slightly less concerned about what his bare hands could do.

Then, with him now only a few steps away from you, you notice he didn’t look quite as calm as he had from several feet away in the darkened alley. In an instant your mind is hurled back in the direction it was stuck in earlier. With how fit he is you suspect he’s not panting from the exertion. Beating that man was surely no more effort for him than slapping away a gnat would be for you. No, it was all from the excitement. Your eyes were all over him even more intently than they’d been inside, but this time taking in all of the signs that this was nothing but a thrill for him. His dilated pupils, lips curled into a smile, you could swear you could have measured his heart rate from the bulging veins along his arms and - what the fuck? Was he hard?

You can’t believe what you’re seeing, even worse you can’t believe what you’re doing as you don’t even try to stop your eyes from lingering long enough to draw a laugh from the man. The sound is breathy, low, and rumbling - much more relaxed than he now looked.

“Adrenaline will do that.”

“Oh.” You’re not sure what else to say, surely not what was on your mind.

“You scared?”

There was fear intertwined with all of the feelings coursing through your body, but the real thing clouding your judgement was much more potent than that. You shake your head and finally bring your eyes back up to meet his.

“You sure?” He wasn’t convinced, neither were you. But you stand by your words.

“Yeah.”

The hungry smile he flashes has your pussy clenching and you swear he knows it from the way his eyes sparkle at the sight of whatever unknown tells you must have. He takes a deep breath, letting it out with a sense of finality, putting a period on what you’ve just witnessed as he tilts his head towards the door to the bar.

“You can go,” he rests his hand on the waistband of his pants, “if you want.”

He knows you don’t, it’s a formality. A way out, should you want it. The way he loops his thumb into his belt and lets his fingertips hang below, just brushing against the bulge in his pants, feels like an invitation. Though as reckless as you had been so far during this encounter you want a little more assurance you were right to move all caution to the back burner.

“What if I don’t want to go?”

The steps he’d taken earlier were completely silent, but now he lets the full weight of his shoes hitting pavement be heard, ringing in your ears along with all the other thoughts you were ignoring in favour of making bad decisions. “I thought you said you wanted to spend your night alone?”

He’d heard that? “Maybe not.”

Another smile from him, and you must show whatever tell you had again as his smile widens. “What do you want to do then?”

“Come to my place?”

Toji’s brows raise high. “Didn’t take you for the type to bring dangerous men home.”

Something about him being so taken aback has you feeling like you’d won something other than the chance to have a strange man in your home that is as likely to rob or kill you as he was to fuck you. It has you feeling bold, maybe even stupid.

“What type did you take me for?”

“The type to run off once you got your share of watching me. Guess peepin’ in the bar and watching me handle my business wasn’t enough, huh?”

You feel the blood rushing to your face, not expecting to be exposed for your nosiness, but then you hadn’t expected any of the things happening so far tonight. The blood rushes straight back between your legs as Toji puts a hand onto the back of your neck, leaning down til his nose touches yours.

“But if you want to be reckless tonight, who am I to stop you?” His lips brush yours and he stops to let you set the pace. It’s another chance to hesitate, to run, but you’re not interested in that.

Parted lips and a shaky sigh are all he needs from you before he’s pressing himself against you, tongue moving past your lips and into your mouth. There’s a fleeting sense of relief that he doesn’t taste like cigarettes, though the musings you’d had inside the bar were soon miles away as his other hand finds yours and guides you to feel his cock through his pants - big, hard, intimidating, and all you wanted right now. Just like him.

He pulls away and the last of your sense keeps you from whining at your need to have him touching you again before he pulls your mind back on track.

“Your place, right?”

Right.

-

The large hand on your waist as you walk through the darkened streets keeps your mind buzzing with the high of what had happened and what was about to happen. You were grateful for it because you were too excited to risk logic kicking in and reminding you that this was a terrible idea. When you walk past a few people you think of how normal you must look to them if they cared to glance your way - just a couple on a nighttime walk. Maybe heading home from a date night. It makes it that much more thrilling that only the two of you know the true nature of the evening’s events.

So thrilling that as you reach your apartment your last chance to stop yourself from doing something stupid doesn’t even cross your mind. Getting the key in the lock without visibly trembling with anticipation is the closest to a concern that you have.

Once you’re inside and your door is shut and locked he’s on you like he’s as desperate for it as you are. His hands grip your ass hard, pulling you flush against him, mouth on yours, biting at your lips and grinding against you until you’re panting into his mouth. You’re brazen, running your hands over his abs, squeezing at his pecs. His hips are glued to yours so in lieu of getting your hands back on his bulge you wrap them round his hips. You let out a frantic giggle as you grab his ass and find the barest hint of softness before your fingers squeeze and meet the firm muscle beneath, then when you start to move your hands upwards towards his lower back he’s stopping you by the wrists in an instant.

“Ah-“ he chides, letting your wrists go and breaking your frenzied string of kisses. He pulls the gun out from where it had been tucked in the waistband of his trousers, “careful now.”

You hadn’t noticed when he’d put it away earlier, but you certainly hadn’t forgotten about it. The way you practically drool at the sight of it doesn’t go unnoticed and Toji slowly turns it, watching your lashes flutter as the soft glow of the street lights coming in through your windows glimmers along the smooth metal.

“You like guns?”

Apparently tonight you do, with a man like him wielding one. You like it enough that when he brings it towards you and strokes the barrel against your cheek you instinctively turn to press your lips against it, parting them and lightly trailing the tip of your tongue along it. His groans at the sight before him spur you on, and your eyes stay locked onto his as you open wide and lick from hammer to muzzle.

When you take it into your mouth, he sucks air in through his teeth. “It’s loaded…”

The fact that it doesn’t stop you from sucking the cold metal gently, bobbing further down onto it, has Toji baring his teeth, cock twitching against you. His free hand moves to cradle your jaw, backing you further into your apartment until you’re pressed against a wall. He grips you firmly enough to keep the gun from sliding too far towards the back of your throat, but gently enough that once you’re pressed between him and the wall you’re free to bob up and down slowly.

“Tastes good?”

You nod and he pulls the gun from your mouth, replacing it with his tongue. His kisses border on too wet, too rough, but with how worked up you already were you weren’t sure there was really such a thing. The sound of the gun thudding heavily against the wall next to you has your thighs trembling, as he braces himself and roughly tugs at your pants with one hand. You rush to get your shoes off as you help him remove everything, along with your underwear, kicking them off and to the side to give him full access to do whatever he wants with you. When he brings the gun back down and brushes the now warmed barrel against your thigh you’re sure to encourage it with a soft hiss and your hands gripping at his shoulders.

The muzzle stays pointed to the ground as he trails it up and down your skin, smiling as you angle yourself towards it. He licks his lips, swallowing hard as he looks down at you. “I bet you taste good too.”

He strokes the slide of the gun through your folds, and you gasp when the rear sight taps against your swollen clit, well past sensitive and ready.

“You’re kinda fucking crazy, huh?” Maybe you are.

Toji taps the top of the barrel against your pussy and you try not to jump at how heavy it feels against you, even with such controlled strength. When he pulls it back he surveys the wetness you’ve left along it before taking it into his own mouth, deep as he can, sucking your taste off of it. When he pulls it back out he licks his lips, savouring you, and leans in close.

“Me too.”

An attempt to lock lips again is missed as Toji gets down onto his knees in front of you, guiding your legs open wide and sliding the gun against you again. You put your full weight against the wall, already needing the support, and he assists you further by hiking a leg up and over his shoulder. As his tongue presses against your clit his eyes leave yours for what feels like the first time since you’d shut the door behind the two of you. His tongue works in slow circles as he swirls the muzzle against your entrance, squeezing at your thigh. Your hands tangle into his dark hair, gripping at it hard as you rock your hips against him in silent encouragement for him to give you what you needed.

It borders on painful as it enters, but the way he angles it as you clench against the hard metal has your toes curling. That’s all it is, really - something to clench round as he works you over with his tongue, but the thought of it is enough to have you gasping with delight. What it was inside you, what it could do, what the man between your legs could do to you if he felt like it. He didn’t feel like it though. The way he groans into you and laps up your mess makes it clear that of all the wicked little things he could, would, and probably has done in his life what he feels like doing right now is making you cum like you never had before.

You try to take in the sight below you, his lashes oddly pretty against his cheeks as his eyes are shut in bliss, the rest of his handsome face obscured by being so thoroughly buried and busy between your legs. When your eyes do close, head hitting the wall behind you as he speeds up his pace, you think back to the look he gave you when you took the gun into your mouth. Absolutely out of his mind with need, and a need for only you. The fact that you’d made a man like him look like that has your stomach clenching just as much as him giving your clit a hard suck, making you squeal as you look back down at him.

He’s watching you now, small foray into overstimulation having gotten your full attention on his eyes, green irises obscured by just how blown his pupils were with desire at the very sight of you. His low rumble of a groan sends vibrations through you that have you gasping his name, something that seems to please him as the sensation continues with a happy hum.

The sounds your pussy makes as he fucks you with his gun fill the room right alongside your unashamed moans and he has to move a hand from your thigh to his pants, keeping his pace with both weapon and tongue as he frees his cock from it’s uncomfortable confinement. He pumps it roughly, matching the speed of his gun inside of you and growling into your pussy as the heat inside you builds and you start clenching hard enough to hamper his movements. Then, he pulls the gun from inside you, setting it aside, and releases his suction on your clit with a pop as he stands and lifts you from the ground, sliding you onto his awaiting cock.

The movement is swift enough that you barely realise he’s done it until you’re filled to the brim with him, scratching at his back and moaning into his mouth as he bounces you up and down his length. Though you’d well warmed the metal that had been inside you, Toji's heat is something else entirely, soothing the sting with a slight soft give well suited to stretch you out perfectly and stirring you up at the same time.

His big hands grip your ass hard, as though spreading you a little wider would help to accommodate his girth better. Discomfort doesn't matter now though as he gives you strokes that leave the thick head of his cock tugging at your insides, thighs trembling around his waist, senses shattering as your pussy sends waves of static straight down to your toes with each rapid movement.

His deep moans border on growls, they're so frenzied, and the first wave of cum gushing heavy inside sends you the rest of the way over the edge alongside him. You can only hold on tight as he pulls you down in time with his upward thrusts, and if he weren’t fucking you so hard through your orgasm you might have heard the cum he was pumping you full of being forced right back out and falling heavy onto your hardwood floors below. You bury your face in his neck, breathing hard as you try to keep hold of him despite feeling spent from the events of the night.

He’s sensible enough not to step in your combined mess below as he moves down your hall, staying deep inside you while he carries you as if you were light as air.

“Where’s your room?”

You gesture lazily and grip him tighter as he lets go of you with one hand, but you’re held securely as he opens your bedroom door and walks in, setting you onto your bed. He pulls out slowly, rubbing at your hip as you shiver slightly, and sits back, watching more of his cum dripping out of you and onto your covers.

“Should’ve asked before I did that.”

All you can do is shrug, it was the last thing on your mind right now after what had happened, and would remain on the back burner as Toji lies down next to you, staring up at your ceiling and letting the afterglow wash over you both.

After a while he rolls onto his side, facing you.

“So, what’s your name?

[itscaptaint]

Goddess of Music

Dean X Reader

“Wait, you know what we are hunting?” Sam questioned as Dean climbed out from behind the wheel of the Impala and into the motel. 

“Shadow wraith,” Dean chimed in, throwing his bag on the bed and immediately scrolling through his other other phone. He knew exactly who he was calling for help on this. 

“A shadow wraith? What makes it different from a regular wraith?” Sam said, finally settling in the room himself. 

“Instead of feeding on plain old brain, it goes after the soul too,” Dean spats. “Ah there it is!” He exclaims finally finding the number he was looking for.

“Dude. Who are you calling?” Sam asked more confused than he wanted to be. He already has no idea what a shadow wraith is and is even more confused as to why Dean does. 

“C’mon c’mon Y/N, pick up.” Dean breaths, throwing his head back hoping to god that Y/N doesn’t ignore him…again. It rings once, twice, three times. Dean is convinced she’s not picking up. “Son of a-”

That’s when he heard her voice. For the first time in years. Strangely, he missed that voice. It was magical…literally. “Y/N, thank god.” Sam sat staring at Dean only hearing one side of the conversation with the mystery girl. 

“Uh yeah I remember what you said,” Dean replied sheepishly. Sam rarely saw that side of his brother. “I need your help.” 

“Please? It’s another shadow wraith.” Now Sam was really curious as to who and when this previous shadow wraith encounter was with.

“Look Y/N…don’t make me beg,” Sam barely heard Dean say through gritted teeth. 

“Damn, Y/N, you’re worse than me,” Dean chuckled, almost blushing. Sam’s eyes widened. 

“See you in the morning.” Call ended.

Dean throws his phone down on the bed and immediately follows with his full body weight, sinking into the mattress. When he rolls over, Sam is still just staring. “Dude, what?”

“Dean, what the fuck is going on? Care to share?”

……….

Dean walked into the university library to do some research. He knew he could have gone to the city library, but the university one was bound to have at least one bookish hot girl, right? Him and John had no idea what they were up against. Something in this town was sucking people dry and leaving corpses in its mess. Normally Sam would have been helping him with this part but he’d been at Stanford for 3 years now and it’s been just Dean and John ever since. 

He knew they were dealing with some sort of wraith-like creature. The holes in the bodies were proof of that, but this wasn’t a normal wraith. Normal wraith’s didn’t completely suck bodies dry. About two hours into his research, he noticed that the stack of books on the table he had been occupying grew by 3 new titles. Had he been that tired that he didn’t remember getting up to get more books to stare at until his eyes bled? When he picked up the first new book, he realized it was old. Almost falling apart. He definitely would have remembered grabbing this. When he opened it up there was already a bookmark inside to a page talking about shadow wraiths. The second book was also tabbed to a page about the mystery creature. Turns out the description of this so-called “shadow wraith” was exactly what they were hunting. 

Shadow wraith’s would first start by sucking the soul clear out of it’s vic. Then once the soul was gone the person had no will or care left to fight back, making it easier to feast on the parts of the brain it thrived on. Biggest downside is that these things only travel in shadows, making catching one challenging. As he was reading up, John called saying he was taking another hunt a few counties away. Apparently it was important.  He asked Dean if he would be able to hold things down on his own. What was Dean going to tell his father? No? Yeah, not in a million years. He told his dad he had it under control and that he’d see him in a few days…hopefully. 

Just as Dean was getting ready to pack up, he realized he didn’t even notice the girl sitting at the table across from him just staring with her arms crossed. How did he not notice her? She was stunning. Her dark red, almost purple, hair fell long and straight around her shoulders and her eyes were a dark blue that seemed like they might shine the color of sapphire in the sunlight. When she noticed his mouth was agape, the corner of her mouth turned up into a smirk and she rose from her chair, walking towards Dean’s table. 

“You find what you were looking for?” Her voice hit Dean’s ears like music. It was corny thinking that way, but that’s what it was. Pure music to his ears. 

“Um, yeah I do believe I have,” Dean sat up straight, his back sore from hunching over the books all evening. If he had any chance with this girl he needed to kick it into high gear. He gave her his best smolder and leaned in slightly. “How about you? You find what you were looking for?” 

Normally that move would have worked, but the girl just raised an eyebrow. “That the best you got?” And that was the first time in a long time that Dean was speechless. 

“Well, since you seem to be rendered catatonic right now, let me fill you in on a few things. First, the library closed an hour ago. You are lucky I’m crafty and stole a key and convinced the librarian I would lock up. Second, you’re welcome for the presents,” she motioned to the mystery books Dean was perusing. “Oh, and you’re going to need my help with a shadow wraith. They are tricky little bitches.”

“You know what a shadow wraith is?” Dean questioned. He had so many other ones queued up but that was the first one that came out of his mouth. 

“Yeah dumbass. Why do you think I was helping you?” She stood grabbing the books to place on the cart to be put away the next morning. “I’m Y/N by the way.”

Turns out, meeting Y/N was the best thing that could have happened to Dean. She knew exactly how to take out the shadow wraith and the deed was done the next night. All the lore pointed to a shadow wraith being taken down by a “thorn of Persophene.” In their case, that meant the stem of a Rose that was blessed in a Greek church, wrapped around a sliver blade. Apparently Y/N had some Greek heritage and had been hearing about shadow wraith’s her entire life in stories that had been passed down. 

Being a short hunt meant he had a few extra days to spend in town before John returned. Maybe he could learn a little more about Y/N before he left. Turns out he learned a lot. Y/N might have been a bit more than he bargained for…

……….

“So this Y/N chick is bringing everything we need to finish this hunt?” Sam asked, finishing his beer. Turns out Dean’s story required a few drinks. Dean talked more about the girl than the hunt. 

“She’s meeting us here, so clean up those bottles before you go to sleep,” Dean scolded. Since when did Dean care how messy the room was? “Don’t want Y/N thinking we’re slobs.”

When Sam finally woke, Dean was already awake. He was sitting at the table, staring between his phone and the window. Sam could tell by the slight humidity in the room that Dean had already showered and gone to get coffee. One cup sat by Sam’s bed, the other 2 in front of Dean. Sam got up and dressed just in time to hear a car door slam shut and see Dean jump out of his seat faster than if he’d seen a clown. “Bro, seriously?” Sam teased. Dean didn’t need to say anything, he just glared and that shut Sam up. 

Dean whipped the door open just as Y/N was about to knock. She was hoping it would take him a few seconds to get to the door so she could prepare herself. Y/N hadn’t seen Dean in years and was a little nervous. He knew what she really was and that scared her. Dean had promised to keep her secret and she had trusted him. She had never told anyone else, just Dean.

Neither said anything, they both just stood and smiled for a few seconds until Sam cleared his throat, pulling both Dean and Y/N from their trance. “Hey, Y/N,” Dean smiled even bigger. He wanted to go in for a hug but didn’t want to push anything. 

Believe it or not, Y/N was much quicker on the wit than Dean. “Hey pretty boy, miss me?” She winked, sliding past him into the room. Y/N took one look at Sam and realized that both Winchester brothers had great genes. “You must be little brother, Sammy.”

Sam reached out his hand to shake hers and Y/N obliged. “The one and only. Nice to meet you, Y/N. Dean’s told me all about you.” At Sam’s words, Y/N shot Dean a glowering look that Sam didn’t notice. Dean just responded with a subtle shake of the head, eyes turning to the floor. Pfew, close one. “Dean tells me you have experience with shadow wraiths?”

“Yup,” Y/N signed plopping onto the bed Dean had occupied the night prior. “I saved your big brother’s ass from one a few years back. It was quite a week,” she blushed looking right over at Dean who had averted his gaze. 

Dean watched her throw herself into the bed he had dreamed about her in less than 12 hours ago. Those few days between the hunt ending and John coming to pick Dean up were a memorable few days…

……….

“Y/N!” Dean yelled as she was thrown across the room. Turns out there were three shadow wraiths and not just one. And they were strong. They had only had the one knife blessed and unfortunately it was clear across the room and out of reach from either one of them. Out of the corner of his eye, Dean saw Y/N somehow throw one of the shadows clear across the room into a smooth vanish without any weapon. It was just long enough for the other monsters to be distracted so Dean could reach the knife. Once he got a hold of the weapon, the other two were toast. 

“You wanna tell me how you took that thing down without the knife,” Dean groaned, reaching his arm down to help Y/N up. She looked like shit. Black eye, busted up shoulder and cut on her cheek that was probably going to need stitched up. 

Y/N groaned, grabbing Dean’s hand. “Not really.” Once she was on her feet, she made her way out of the house and headed the opposite direction of the car Dean had hot wired earlier. 

“Where are you going? Car’s this way,” Dean shouted down the street, but Y/N just kept walking. After a few seconds, Dean realized she was ignoring him and was determined to get away. He knew something was up. Dean got to the car, threw it in drive and went off following Y/N. “Y/N, get in the car. We gotta talk.”

She didn’t even stop to look at him. “Not really in the mood for talking right now.” 

“At least let me take you back to campus. We don’t have to talk or anyth-”

“Just go!” Y/N shouted. Her angry outburst shocked Dean and royally confused him when the volume of the radio suddenly reached it’s max and started playing Metallica’s Nothing Else Matters. 

“Stupid car, what the fuck,” Dean says reaching for the volume nob, unable to change it.

“It’s not gonna help,” Y/N says, slowing her walk almost to a stop. Once she stops walking, the music stops playing. Dean just stares between the car radio and the mystery girl that saved the day. “If I get in that car, you gotta promise not to kill me.”

Dean didn’t want to make that promise. His life has been dedicated to killing weird things and she should be no exception. But there was something about her that made him second guess his instinct. “Get in”

“So you’re telling me that you’re a demon goddess?” Dean furrows his brow and takes another gulp of whisky straight from the bottle. 

“No, not a demon goddess,” Y/N tries to explain again. Turns out her dad was a demi-god, the son of the Greek god Apollo, and mom was a crossroads demon. “Just an everyday college girl with some pretty fucked up parents that controls music and sound with her uncontrollable emotion.” 

It took Dean a few beats to absorb everything she was saying. He wanted to be upset. He wanted to be able to take her out, but all he could do was say “Okay.”

“Okay? That’s all you have to say?” Y/N spun so fast to see Dean’s reaction that she made herself dizzy. Being thrown across the room will do a number on your brain being scrambled. She wobbled for a minute before Dean was up and guiding her to the bed. 

“That’s going to need stitches,” Dean gently tilted Y/N’s chin up so he could see the cut on her face in better lighting. “I’ll fix this up and then we can swap stories about our crappy parents.” It was the first time Y/N felt safe. Dean is the only person that knows her secret and she thought that it was going to end her. Turns out, maybe this won’t be such a bad thing.

The next 3 days were full of cheeseburgers, dive bars and crappy television. The fourth day included all of those things, plus some karaoke. “These guys are terrible,” Y/N groaned as the frat boys waltzed down off the stage. Backstreet Boys might have made the rest of the girls in the crowd swoon, but not Y/N. She was only swooning over one boy here. Dean had already gotten up, gave his best go at some Bon Jovi, and has been fighting back the babes all night. He could have his pick of girls but he only had eyes for one girl in the bar. 

“Well, Miss Music Magician,” Dean tilted his head and leaned towards Y/N. His closeness made her bite her lip and slow her breathing. What was he doing? “You think you can do better?” He smirked, taunting her. He knew she had said or sang something to that shadow wraith to get it to disappear. Y/N had told him that not only did she have an affect on radio, but sometimes she could make ears bleed or the total opposite, causing them to fall into a dream-like trance. It was all controlled by emotion. Dean really wanted to hear how magical that voice could be. 

“You want me to sing?” Y/N chuckled, finishing off her beer. Dean’s expression changed to a more serious one and she knew he wasn’t kidding. “Ugh, okay, fine.” She sighs, finishing Dean’s beer and heading over to the stage.

“Looks like we’ve got a new performer!” The DJ announces. The drunk college girls giggle and applaud while the guys all perked up from what they were all previously talking about. That made Dean extra perky. He wasn’t going to let any of these guys try anything with her. It didn’t take Y/N long to decide on a song and when the music started, Dean knew he was done for. 

The first few bars of I Love Rock ‘N; Roll started and if she didn’t have the bar’s attention before, she definitely did now. The second she opened her mouth and the sound came out, it was like heaven on earth. Her voice was truly magical. Dean was so drawn in he didn’t even remember if he was remembering to breathe. He glanced around the bar and every single person, bouncers and bartenders included were singing along and had zero cares in the world. Dean was still so mesmerized that he didn’t realize she was done until she was back at the table. 

“That was…Amazing,” Dean managed to breathe out. Turns out he wasn’t the only one in awe. One of the Backstreet wannabes from earlier was striding over and making a beeline right for Y/N. Dean rolls his eyes and that grabs Y/N’s attention. When she realized what was going to happen, she thought on her feet. She wanted nothing to do with this dude. She knew Dean had already been slightly entranced by her singing so she knew he would do whatever she said in this moment. 

“Kiss me,” Y/N whispered, almost singing into Dean’s ear. Dean didn’t miss a beat. His lips were instantly on hers. Y/N wanted to believe that he only kissed her because she told him to, but it was more passionate than that. She was immediately kissing him back, hands winding behind his neck and into his hair. Dean’s hand snakes behind the small of her back and pulls her closer than he thought they would ever be. Deep down he knew she only told him that to deter the frat boy, but he could have stopped by now, but he didn’t want to. Y/N was the one that pulled away first. 

“I’m sorry,” Y/N whispered. Dean didn’t want her to be sorry. He had been wanting to do that since he stitched up that cut on her face the other night. “Is he gone?” She looked up and noticed that the boy had walked away, changing his mind about approaching. 

“I think so,” Dean whispered, but he didn’t want to stop kissing her. He was feeling bolder now that he’d already had a taste of Y/N. “But just to make sure…” Dean leaned back in towards Y/N. The kiss was softer this time. Lighter and less frantic, but still amazing. When they both pull away, neither one can help but smile. 

“Let’s get out of here,” Y/N winked. And off they went. 

……….

Turns out Y/N still hadn’t figured out how to control her emotions enough to completely get a handle on her music control. She had accidentally turned on the radio on the way to the hunt. Luckily Dean was quick enough to change the subject so Y/N had a moment to get some control and give him some time to pretend like he was changing the station. The only control Y/N had figured out was how to not let her emotions betray her song “choices.” If that were still a problem, this hunt with Dean would not go as smoothly as she had planned. 

“So, Y/N,” Sam asked. He wanted to know more about Dean’s mystery girl. “You a hunter?”

“Nope,” Y/N said, leaning up towards the front seat to be closer to the boys. “Just was in the wrong place at the wrong time when Dean needed me.” The way she said wrong made Dean shudder a little bit. It was the right place and most definitely the right time. “I’m actually an elementary school music teacher.” 

“Cool,” Sam nodded. How on earth did Dean manage to keep this girl tucked away all these years. If Dean’s massive crush on her wasn’t as obvious, Sam contemplated taking a swing. 

Y/N and Sam talked most of the way there, getting to know each other and talking about their college experiences. Dean just sat and listened. He wondered if Sam was as affected by her voice as he was. 

When they finally arrived, Dean held back to have a quick chat with Y/N. “You…armed?” He asked.

“Armed? Dean, if this shit goes sideways like last time, I got this under control. I’d rather not expose myself, kind of trying to keep that a secret, but if I need to save your brother’s hot ass I will.” 

She winked at Dean as she tried catching up with Sam. Dean didn’t want to admit it, but her comment, though he knew it was a joke, made him a little jealous. He wanted her to talk about him that way. After all of this was over, he had to talk to her. 

As Y/N predicted, shit went sideways. Sam was knocked out cold so he wasn’t even conscious for Y/N’s heroic efforts. It was harder this time though. Her judgment was slightly clouded and her emotions were frantic. Last time she and Dean were in this situation, she didn’t have any feelings for him. Now, all of her feelings were for him. She felt scared for his life, scared for hers. But she was also pissed at him with how things ended the last time. Y/N wasn’t sure which emotion to tap into, so she tapped into all of them. She was able to take down three wraiths on her own this time and Dean managed to take down the one that had knocked Sam out. 

Even though she was successful, she was tired and emotionally wrecked. Sam had regained consciousness and they got him into the backseat before he passed out again. Y/N climbed into the seat and noticed Dean staring. “You were a lifesaver. Again.” he smiled, letting the car come to life. 

“You’re just lucky I forgive you for how things…ended,” she sighed, closing her eyes. She knew she wouldn’t fall asleep in the car, but her eyes needed a break. 

“I really am sorry, Y/N.”

“I know,” she opened her eyes, turned her head to meet his gaze. “Why else would I be here?”

……….

Y/N and Dean barely make it back to his motel room before tearing each other’s clothes off. The whole car ride there from the bar was filled with classic rock and sexual tension. Y/N was doing her best to try and control the car’s radio, but everything that tuned in was somehow about sex. She knew what was going to happen. Hell, she was dying for this to happen, but now her power was making things awkward.

“You trying to tell me something, DJ?” Dean smirked, slowly rubbing his hand up and down her thigh.

“Dean,” Y/N breathed, looking down, trying to avoid his gaze. That’s when Dean’s hand found hers and he intertwined their fingers. They rode like that the rest of the way back. As soon as the car was in park, Dean was out of the car. He had headed around to the passenger side to get Y/N’s door, but she was already out and crashing her mouth to his. 

It was a desperate kiss. Y/N had never wanted anyone this bad and could tell Dean felt the same. He fumbled for the key in his pocket without separating from Y/N. Once they are in the room they are a mess of flying clothes and tangled bed sheets. 

It was a night neither one of them wanted to forget. Y/N and Dean were sound asleep and  neither one of them heard the rumble of a car outside or the sound of keys at the door. 

“So this is what you’ve been doing while I’ve been working,” the deep voice stirred Y/N from a deep sleep. It wasn’t Dean’s voice, but just as gruff. 

“Dad, it’s not what you think,” she heard Dean say. So this was Dean’s dad. Y/N could have gotten out of bed and introduced herself, but she was still naked and decided faking sleep was the better option. 

“It looks like you’ve found yourself a piece of ass to keep your bed warm while I was out saving lives,” Dean’s dad basically growled. A piece of ass? Damn, he was intense…and rude. “Get your shit together and let’s go.”

“Dad, let me at least say goodbye-”

“Why bother, you’ll just sleep your way through the next town, forget about this one anyways,” he mumbles slamming the door behind him, making Y/N jump. So much for pretending to be asleep because Dean definitely saw her reaction to that bang. 

Y/N heard Dean let out a heavy sigh. “How much did you hear?”

She wished she hadn’t heard any of it, but “All of it,” she responded, sitting up in bed with the sheet still wrapped around her.

“Look, Y/N,” Dean started, but he didn’t know how to finish. John was back and he was pissed. All Dean wanted to do was hold Y/N again and stay that way for as long as possible. 

“Dean, just go. He sounded pissed,” Y/N said, reaching for her clothes and dressing as quickly as she could just in case John came barging back in. She knew deep down this was going nowhere and she was starting to hate herself for falling so hard. Y/N grabbed her purse and was almost at the door when Dean pulled her back into the tightest hug she’d ever been enveloped in. 

“I don’t want to,” Dean whispered into her hair. He was holding on so tight, almost as if he thought she was going to slip away. “I’m sorry.”

“I know,” Y/N pulled away just enough to look and see wet eyes. She hadn’t known him long, but she knew that this was just as hard for him as it was for her. “Just promise me you’ll keep my little secret. Because if I ever find out that you told someone, I will destroy you,” she smirked, giving Dean a little wink as she kissed his cheek.

As soon as Y/N walked out the door, Dean knew that this would be the one that got away. 

……….

Y/N helped Dean get Sam back to their room before heading to her own. “It was good seeing you again Dean,” she smiled back at the green eyed man from her past that she secretly wanted in her future. “But next time you want to see me, it doesn;t have to be a life or death situation,” she winked, quickly closing the door behind her not giving Dean a chance to say anything. 

She leaned against the door and let out a sigh she had been holding in all night. The radio on the nightstand turned on and started to play, volume low, but it was loud enough to drown out Y/N’s thoughts of Dean. The only thing it didn’t drown out was the sound of knocking on the door. 

Dean wasn’t quite sure what he was doing, but he knew he wasn’t going to leave on a crappy note again. He needed her, so he knocked.

“Life or death?” Y/N asked, answering the door.

“Neither,” Dean breathed, colliding his lips to hers. 

It was more passionate than the time Y/N had told Dean to kiss her in that bar. It was desperate. It was a passion that had been locked away for too long and needed release. Y/N’s hands were wound up in Dean’s hair and he was running his hands down her sides, over her hips and onto her thighs. He swiftly lifts her, molding her to his body so he can make it to the bed. Once he had her on her back, she immediately rolled him over and was straddling his lap. Y/N pulled away and just looked down into Dean’s eyes, smiling.

“What’s going through that head of yours?” Dean asked, furrowing his brow.

She didn’t need to answer. The radio immediately changed and started playing that song that made him lose it all those years ago. The voice of Joan Jett played through the speakers and he knew what she was thinking. 

[knucklestheenchilada]

Hello!! Hope you've been doing well!

I was just scrolling through my ao3 bookmarks and saw your fic "Time and other necessities." Honestly, I grew out of the Jason Todd phase (that's a lie lmao I just stopped reading stuff), but your work always stayed in the back of my mind. From time to time, I would remember a small scene or line. UGH, I LOVE YOUR WRITTING SO MUCH. I caught up to it today.. I wanted to say I'm so sorry for what happened. The feeling of your work being desecrated in that way.. I totally understand why you wouldn't want to continue it. I just wanted to tell you that your work is beautiful no matter what ( and that I'm reading all your other works too :3)

With much love,

one of your readers <3

YOU'RE READING ALL OF THEM?! SOME ARE SO BAD

In all honesty thank you very much for reaching out to let me know this. It genuinely makes me really happy. I'll get back to time and other necessities someday, hopefully soon... I have half the next chapter already done but every time I go to continue it, I just stare at the same paragraph for hours on end before going to write a different fic for a different fandom. Even as I'm working on the one I am right now, I keep thinking about Marcy and Jason. I'm going to be thinking about this ask all day at work tomorrow xx

I miss them and being active on @blorbofrommylazaruspit quite a bit

[kiwiana-writes]

💝🕯🧿 for the writer asks!

Ooooh we love a multi-question, thanks pal!

💝 what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

This is a FANTASTIC question!

I rage-wrote a part-character study, part-alternate ending after watching Happiest Season that, to this day, is the most-kudosed fic in the Happiest Season tag. It's definitely 'got in early' effect and it not having a ton of fics but that is still a piece of information that blows my mind a little bit every time I remember it 😅

The response to the RWRB Much Ado actor AU was far beyond anything I could have anticipated, honestly. Like, I knew people would like it for sure, I wasn't expecting it to languish or anything, but it absolutely blew past my most popular Schitt's Creek fic for kudos/comments/bookmarks, like, the day after it was complete. It hit a ridiculous kudos milestone that took SC angstapalooza almost three years to achieve. There was a lot of just kind of... staring in bafflement at my stats page for a while that day lol.

For Schitt's Creek, the Patrick as a Hallmark greeting card writer fic is second only to angstapalooza for kudos, which also remains wild to me. I wrote that thing in like three hours because @midnightstreet posted a cute pic of queer greeting cards and, like, my hand slipped. Don't get me wrong, it's a cute fic, but every time I remember it's THAT high up I'm like ???

In terms of fics that maybe didn't do as well as I would have thought... honestly, when I take a scroll through my stats page it's sort of expected. All the low stuff is wlw or gen fic, or the more out there pairings, stuff where I dip my toe into polyam-adjacent things, etc. (And, of course, the podfics. Send love to your podficcers, folks!)

🕯️ was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn’t think it would take you?

Answered here!

🧿 what steps do you take to not take things personally if a fic doesn’t do well, or if your writing/posting/sharing experience isn’t going how you’d like it to?

Woof, this is a tough question because like. My brain is a hellscape lol. The (mostly) unserious process is: I whine at @celeritas2997 and @ships-to-sail about how I'm Quitting Writing Forever and they tell me to suck it the fuck up and usually I'm writing again within, like, 24 hours.

[Let’s Get REAL fic writer asks]

[vanitysunday]

For me personally, I can really feel myself deviating away from social media and any desire to be informed of people’s daily lives through my phone. Aside from tumblr, tumblr since for me I use it as like a health/self-improvement blog it feels more like a collective group working towards a similar goal. These kind of day to day updates from strangers I enjoy, and sharing motivating things etc. But like the curated ‘day in my life’ kind of posts, tired of that shit tbh. Everything feels so fake, it has felt so fake for years but I’m really now growing so bored and tired of seeing it.

The last couple months whenever I pick up my phone I end up just staring at it wondering why. Because I’ll have watched some TikTok videos and gained absolutely nothing from it. I’ll scroll through a few instagram posts but then sit there thinking, what am I doing this for. Since a few months ago I decided to start asking myself why I’m picking up my phone, I never could find a good reason.

I have been enjoying indulging in books for hours. Learning Japanese. Looking up and bookmarking new recipes to try. Playing video games. Developing routines to maintain my home. And really just being present in my life. I actually think that’s something I did in my pre-depression era, as I’m going to call it, that I stopped doing after coming out of it. I feel like during my depression I was heavily trying to escape my life, I was not trying to be in my head at all. And well I’ll say I succeeded. But now that I’m recovered, wasting time absorbing other people’s lives through my phone is not appealing at all.

My friends and I had drifted shortly after they graduated college but during college that’s one thing I loved. My friends and I would make plans to meet up and catch up if we hadn’t seen each other throughout the week. That obviously rarely happens anymore. But I’d like that to be a thing in my life again.

[katherinejblackwell]

Katherine's Tea Party 3 - Reading Resolutions

Also read on my website!

Photo by Dzenina Lukac

Now that we're settling into 2024 and coming out of both the chaos and coma of the holiday season, it feels appropriate to add my own list of resolutions to the ever-present pile that exists on the internet. My resolutions in recent years have been a little more vague, usually just one or two goals that cover a broad idea I want to embody, but this year I have a more focused list of things I want to accomplish and, conveniently, many of them are book-related and perfect to share here in my little corner.

1 - Read Consistently

I was originally going to say "read more" but that's not quite what I'm going for. I think making an effort to read consistently will end up lending itself to me reading more overall, but when I think specifically "read more," I think burning through two or more novels a month (or scrambling to read a bunch of short books to hit my Goodreads goal), which isn't realistic for me. What is realistic, and what I would like to make a habit, is reading consistently. Even if it's just a page (or less) each day, I want to read that one page. I've noticed that I always feel more fulfilled, productive, clear-headed, and overall just better when I'm reading consistently. I think there are two reasons behind this. One, simply that reading is something I'm passionate about, so consistently interacting with books makes me feel happier. Two, staring at my phone for hours always makes me feel a little foggy. Sometimes it's nice, or even necessary, to just shut my brain off and scroll in bed, but when I have the energy for it, I often feel much better after an hour of reading than I do after an hour of scrolling. So, my main resolution for the year is to read more consistently. Ideally, I'd like to carve out decent blocks of time for my reading every day, but I again know that's not quite realistic, so really I'd just love to read for at least ten minutes a few times a week.

2 - Collect Better Bookmarks

My bookmark collection is outdated to say the least. The few good ones I currently own are gifts I've received recently and the rest are either older bookmarks that I've outgrown or random bits of ephemera that aren't really bookmarks but that do the job. I'd like to update my collection with some bookmarks that really spark joy and that I look forward to using. To me, it feels similar to how you want your bedroom or your workspace to be well-decorated and inviting. It makes you want to use the space and makes your use of it more enjoyable. I want to make my mental reading space even more pleasant and cozy by having a pretty bookmark to use instead of some slip of paper I've been hanging on to since the seventh grade. I think both my books and I deserve it. :P

3 - Make More Use of the Library

I've already started on this since it's easy to place holds and pick them up while I'm at work, but, until very recently, I rarely used the library to check out books. In fact, I've only had a library card for the past year or so, despite being an avid reader for many years. I've spent a lot of money on books and, while I love my personal library and owning my own books, being able to borrow books is amazing and makes accessing a wide variety of materials so much easier. From here on out, I'd especially like to make a habit of checking out books I haven't read yet from the library instead of buying them. Instead, I'll save my book money for acquiring books that I know I truly love and will get lots of use out of -- and, of course, buying about a dozen special editions of the same favorites because they're all so pretty.

4 - Weed Out My Collection

I started doing this over the summer but circumstances led me to never quite finish and now there are piles of books that I keep tripping over on my floor. I've accumulated a LOT of books over the years,  and many of them I acquired when I was younger and had much different interests than I do now. It's difficult to part with them, especially when they've been small constants in my life for so many years, but the books deserve to go somewhere they'll be read, and I deserve to not have what has essentially become clutter blocking the way for new favorites to enter my shelves. Also not tripping every time I enter my room would be pretty cool. 

5 - Collect More Picture Books

All that about using the library and thinning out my collection being said, I'd really like to grow my personal collection of picture books this year. Working at the library, I encounter all sorts of beautiful, wholesome, and simply adorable picture books. Even before, picture books always had a certain draw. I love the illustrations and some of the simple, sweet stories are enough to make me misty-eyed. There's something so special about them. I have a small handful of picture books in my collection already, all but one of which are from my childhood, but I'd really like to dedicate some of my time, thought, and energy this year to finding some picture books that bring me joy and finding a special home for them on my shelf. 

6 - Feel Less Pressure With Reading

Especially in an age where trends and aesthetics are so easy to rapidly consume, and can so easily take over one's feed, it's easy to feel like there are books I "should" read. But really, the books I (and everyone)  "should" read are the ones that make me feel the most excited and intrigued. I have tried with all my might several times to read The Secret History. I just can't do it. Not yet, at least. While I do still have plans to read it, and think that it's a wonderfully well-written story from the portion I have read, I often feel some level of pressure to not only finish the book, but also to think and feel a certain way about the text when I pick it up. I don't want to feel pressure where reading is concerned. It should be something that's 100% relaxing and enjoyable. In the new year, I want to let go of any pressure I associate with reading and pick the books I truly feel like reading and allow myself to feel the way I feel about them.

7 - Write a Novella

I'm not sure this is quite a reading goal, but it's almost a reading goal and will certainly require me to do lots of reading for research, so close enough. I was recently rereading a short novella I had written as a gift a few years ago and I think writing a new one, maybe for publication or at least sharing, would be a great goal to give myself for the new year. Recently, I've been really struggling with what to write next. I'm not writing as ravenously as I was a few years ago, churning out short stories all the time, and acting on the novel idea I've had feels incredibly daunting. However, I do feel ready to write something longer. My short stories could still use a lot of work, of course, but I want to see what I can do with a higher word count to play around with. I also feel it will be good practice to write and polish something a little shorter before I finally start in on my novel idea. Writing something shorter gives me a closer goal to hit and will (hopefully) give me a boost of confidence and a feeling of satisfaction that I can springboard into a longer writing project with. 

Book Rec and Drink of the Month

Photo by Işıl

For once, I will not be recommending a Hunger Games book, but only because I have already recommended every Hunger Games book that exists. I don't think I will stop thinking about this series for the rest of forever, though, so you certainly haven't heard the last of it.

Picking my recommendation this month was kind of hard because I haven't read much besides Hunger Games books since November, so I had to do a little delve back into my Goodreads to pick something I've read before. What I landed upon was one of my favorite series, The Magisterium. It's cowritten by Cassandra Clare and Holly Black, which should be a green flag for people who had very similar interests to me in middle and high school. I do, however, recommend this series with the caveat that the last two books somewhat ruin it for me. I read them, returned them to the library, then vowed to pretend they didn't exist. I can't remember too many specifics, but certain plot points get rather muddled and, despite it being a fantasy series, begin to feel almost outlandish. If I reread the series, I'm sure I could write an entire blog post just about the issues I have with the way the series ended (and I might in fact do that at some point because it sounds very tempting), but I do still feel like the first three books are very solid and worth the read. I found the magic system and the idea of counterweights super interesting and I loved reading about the relationships between Cal and his friends. 

As for my drink recommendation, I will be somewhat piggybacking off of last month's recommendation of peppermint hot chocolate to present you with lavender hot chocolate. I started making this in the fall by mixing about 2-3 teaspoons of lavender syrup into a regular mug of hot chocolate and as an avid lavender lover, I think this will be a perfect cozy and comforting drink as we delve deeper into the Winter months. (One day I will actually recommend a tea on the blog called Katherine's Tea Party, but today is not that day.)

To anyone who may be reading, I'd love to hear what your personal goals or resolutions for the new year are and I hope your New Year's Eve was safe and happy! Hopefully 2024 will treat us all kindly and be a year full of growth, joy, love, and books. I'll be back again in February!

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Dean’s Day

Summary: The reader is missing Dean one day. Jensen decides she doesn’t have to miss him at all and allows the reader, and even Dean, the opportunity to have a fun day together...

Pairing: Jensen x reader, Dean x reader

Square: Quote C “Shh, don’t worry, I’ll take very good care of you.”

Word Count: 1,500ish

Warnings: language, nudity

A/N: Written for @supernatural-jackles​​ Tell Me A Story Bingo and all my Dean girls out there...

________

“Hey,” said Jensen. He leaned over the back of the lounger in the home office, resting his chin on top of your head. “Whatcha reading?”

“Fanfic,” you said, scrolling up on your tablet a smidge.

“Is it that smutty one that you sent me yesterday that has that epic cliffhanger?” he asked. “I’m still waiting for that chick to update.”

“Patience is a virtue. And no, this is a short story,” you said, bookmarking it when you got to the bottom. Jensen plucked it out of your hands before you knew it though and quickly was frowning. 

“This is a finale rewrite,” he said, handing it back to you. “You still pissed over that ending huh.”

“Not as pissed as I was. But I just won’t ever like it. I just...don’t like to think that Dean never really got to live a normal safe life. It wasn’t fair to him.”

“No it wasn’t. I wish he got better,” he said. He smiled and sat down beside you, taking out his phone. He tapped for a moment before showing it to you, a mostly black image on the screen but a few words making your eyes widen. “Back in Black. I thought it was a fitting title for the reboot.”

“They’re remaking the show already?” you said. You scowled and he started to laugh. “It’s been less than a-“

“My reboot. Our reboot. Honey ain’t nobody else gonna do my boy justice,” he said. You took the phone out of his hands and stared at the image longer.

“Is that a devil’s trap in the fading?” you asked. He hummed and took the phone back. “Wait. I-”

“That’s enough spoilers for one day,” he said. He kissed your temple and you stood up, Jensen already heading out of the room. “So glad I didn’t tell you about Dean’s girlfriend.”

“Dean’s getting a girlfriend!” you said, bouncing up and down on your toes. “Like, a real relationship?”

“Maybe,” he said with a big ass smirk. “It’s all in pre-production right now. A select few are brainstorming ideas. But I’m not telling you more. I want you to be spoiler free and enjoy it like everybody else.”

“Spoiler free didn’t work out so well last time,” you said. He shrugged and rocked back on his heels. “Alright, alright. Spoiler free.”

“Awesome. Oh. I gotta duck out for like the rest of the day. I’ll catch you tonight,” he said. 

“Uh,” you said, Jensen already gone. He headed upstairs and you looked around, trying to figure out what prank he was pulling on you today. Nothing seemed off and by the time you were upstairs and getting to your bedroom door, Jensen was stepping out in a different flannel and t shirt. “I mean I don’t mind if you have plans for the day. I-“

“I don’t got any plans sweetheart,” he said.

“You just said-“

“Who just said?” You raised an eyebrow, taking a beat for it all to click. That specific flannel with that specific shirt. That specific slight drop in his voice. 

“Jensen.”

“Yeah he’s gonna be back later. He said you get me today to do with as you please,” he smirked. 

“Jens-”

“Shh, don’t worry, I’ll take very good care of you.” He pressed a finger to your lips and pecked a quick kiss to your cheek. You stared at him and he clasped his hands behind his back, twirling his hips as he stood in place.

“Dean.”

“Yes?” he asked. 

“So you’re Dean today,” you said. He hummed and nodded, lifting up onto his tip toes and falling back down. “And I can do whatever I want to you.”

“Yup,” he said, popping his p.

“Alright, Dean. How you still alive after that finale? Something to do with Back in Black I heard?” You grinned and he narrowed his eyes, a sliver of Jensen coming through.

“Oh that’s on a need to know basis sweetheart. Just know I ain’t gone anywhere,” he said. “Alive and kicking. You gonna play it that way today cause our mutual friend gave me permission to do as I please too if you start acting up.”

“Dean, sweetie,” you said. “You’re an even bigger bottom than Jensen. Let’s not pretend you aren’t.”

You patted his ass as you walked past, humming and slipping out of the room. 

“Come on Dean. I have things I want to do with you today.”

“Oh Dean,” you called from where you lounged in your chair beside the pool. Dean waggled a few fingers from where he floated around on a mat in the water, eyes shut behind a pair of sunglasses. “Would you like to order some sandwiches for lunch? It’s supposed to rain soon.”

“Alright,” he said with a stretch.

“Head on up to the bathroom for me. I’ll be there in just a minute,” you said. He hummed and rolled off the float, swimming and dragging along the mat until he took it out and tossed it in the pool toy box tucked against the fence. He headed inside wrapped in his towels while you picked up a few things. You stopped in the kitchen and put in an order for an hour from then, heading on upstairs, the house darker with the clouds rolling in.

You found him in the bathroom, swim shorts and towel in the basket, halfway into the shower. A tsk left your lips and he froze, looking back over his shoulder. 

“No, no,” you said. You went to the tub and turned on the water, getting it to a nice temperature and plugging it. Your bathing suit came off and you gathered up his shampoo and conditioner from the shower along with your body wash. “Dean.”

You held out a hand and he took it, allowing you to pull him into the rising water with you, a smidge of Jensen coming through as he realized what you were about to do, an experience he himself had had more than once when he got too stressed out.

“What’s up sweetheart?” he said, leaning closer as if he didn’t already know the answer.

“Close your eyes,” you said. He shut his and you turned him around, sliding him back against your chest. You wrapped one arm around his waist and he let out a sigh. “When’s the last time you took a bath Dean?”

“No idea. Probably a kid,” he said, resting his head back as you started to scoop water up and over his hair to get it wet. “You gonna wash my hair?”

“Yes I am. I like to wash Jensen���s hair sometimes. He’s not so good about relaxing and letting himself be taken care of every once in a while.” He was quiet, humming softly. “He’s better about it lately though.”

“He appreciates it,” he said. You leaned forward and hit off the water, grabbing his shampoo. You squirted some in your hands and put it on his head, working it into a lather. “Feels nice.”

“Good. A spa day never hurt anyone, especially retired hunters,” you said. 

“You know, in the meantime, until you get a confirmation I mean, I think you should consider me alive and well.”

“Oh really? So what are you up to these days then?” you said, giving his scalp a good scrub that made him hum deeply.

“Been hanging with my boy a lot. Driving around. Golfing. Swimming. Boating. Concerts. He really loves you. He loves me too.”

“He’s pretty great,” you said.

“What about you sweetheart? You love me?”

“Yes I do.” You kissed his cheek and smiled. “What about you? You interested in any-“

“Sh. Back to bath cuddling,” he said. 

“Alright Dean. Whatever you want today.”

“You have some pretty nice cuddles I gotta say,” he said late that night as you lay in bed together. His head was resting on your shoulder, arm over your waist. “Thanks for today. Never really got to have a girl to take care of me before.”

“I’m always here if you ever want that again. Until you can get a girlfriend in the future at least,” you said.

“I’ll take you up on that. I’m always here if you need me too sweetheart,” he said.

“Okay,” you said, kissing his temple. “Tell Jensen thanks for today.”

“I will. I’ll see you around soon. Later sweetheart,” he said, lifting his head and giving you a soft, slow kiss. 

“Later Dean,” you said. You closed your eyes and heard him shift on the bed. “Hi Jensen.”

“Hi honey. How was your day?” he asked.  

“Good,” you said, smushing your face into his chest. “I love you so much.”

“Take care of our boy?” he asked.

“Jay.”

“I know you did. I don’t know about you but I’m beat after that day of pampering,” he said.

“Honey. Thanks for that,” you said.

“I did it for him too,” he said. You hugged him and he returned it, snuggling into your side. “Night sweetheart.”

“Night Jens. And Dean.”

_______

[obabyobeymeme]

Resting with the Boys[TM]

summary: what i think falling asleep with them around would be like. that- that’s it, that’s the post note: yayayayy first post! this has been in my notes app for a Long time, so.. buckle up, this is going to be kinda long no matter what i do, thoughts went brrrrrr, sorry lmao.

Lucifer ➛ Good luck getting a moment alone with him. With all the work he has assigned by Diavolo, the time he spends cleaning up after his brothers’ shenanigans, and his duties as the eldest, it seems like he never has free time. ➛ When you do catch him alone, he’s either not in the mood for any sort of interaction or he’s taken the liberty of passing out at his desk, pen still in hand as he rests. ➛ You aren’t doing so well yourself, being a human exchange student doesn’t mean R.A.D. will go easy on you. Classes, assignments, and sometimes even just having to deal with the rest of the student body can be pretty tiring. ➛ Your patience pays off when the day finally comes that he’s mostly free of duties and your assigned tasks at the moment are all finished as well.

➛ You two don’t really do much, you spend the time talking over hot beverages and enjoying each other’s company in his office. Just having you around and not causing a ruckus is already more than enough for him. ➛ Lucifer ends up going on a halfhearted rant about his brothers as he organizes some papers next to you. How he found out about another one Satan and Belphie’s plots to inconvenience him and how he’ll turn it against them, wondering how the house hasn’t been decimated while he went on business trips sometimes... It’s nice seeing him not as uptight as he usually is. ➛ You end up getting a little drowsy despite your best attempts to listen to what he’s saying. Eventually your drowsiness wins over and you kinda.. nod off. Hopefully he doesn’t mind. (He does mind, actually. Sleeping sitting down may sound like a good idea at first, but Lucifer knows your neck will hate you for it when you wake up.) ➛ He doesn’t want to wake you, so he carefully nudges your head onto his lap before finishing up with the papers, occasionally running his hand through your hair. ➛ Once he’s done, he carries you to your room and makes sure you’re comfortable before leaving a kiss on your forehead and leaving, closing the door softly behind him.

Mammon ➛ When you suggest a lazy afternoon to him, he’ll act as if he has no time for a silly activity like that. Why would he? The Great Mammon has better things to do with his time than spending it lazing around with some- ➛ He trails off once he sees your slightly disappointed face. When you say you’ll find someone else to nap with, he changes his tune almost instantly. ➛ He just.. takes your wrist and goes “W-well, if ya want it THAT badly... but just this once, got it??” as he sorta tugs you along to his bedroom. ➛ This is where you learn that he has no idea how to share a bed with someone else. He seems torn between wanting to scoot closer or give you as much space he can without actually leaving the bed. ➛ You decide to make the decision for him, resting your head on his shoulder as you start rambling. Mammon warms up eventually and slings an arm around your shoulders, pulling you a bit closer. ➛ You drift off during a lull in the conversation, unintentionally leaving him hanging for a full minute before he realizes you’re asleep. ➛ He watches you for a while and makes sure you’re really out, then reaches for his phone and takes a picture (or five) of your sleeping face. What? You’re cute even when you sleep apparently! He’d rather go through one of Lucifer’s scoldings than admit that to your face in the near future though. ➛ You know that meme where people say they can't do anything because a cat fell asleep on them? Yeah, that happened to Mammon because of the arm he placed around you, he ended up falling asleep with you wrapped in his arms. ➛ When you wake up, you cannot move without his grip getting just a bit tighter. Greedy even in his sleep, it seems... rip if you have to go to the bathroom lmao

Leviathan ➛ You two spent pretty much the whole day in his room, geeking out over shared interests, catching up on anime Levi introduced to you, trying (and occasionally failing) at the games you both play ➛ You don’t even notice it’s well past 1 AM until you feel like you’ve been staring at a screen for an awful long time now, what time is- oh. ➛ Levi’s slightly disappointed that your hangout has to end, but yeah, he gets it. Everyone needs their sleep, even hardcore otakus. He’s about to tell you that you can leave when you flop into his bathtub bed, saying you’re too tired to walk all the way back. ➛ He short-circuits at the sight of you wrapping yourself around one of the many body-sized pillows, and when you realize he still has to get in the tub to sleep? And instead of getting out, you sit up and insist on him getting in with you??? ➛ A system error has occurred. Please restart your Leviathan. Come on, this is like that one scene in this shoujo anime he’s found where the main character and the person they’re pining for share a bed! ➛ He doesn’t say anything, but judging by the expression he’s making and how he’s clambering in behind you, you don’t think he minds too much. ➛ You two end up with his upper body propped up by the pillows and you kinda laying on top of him. It's a bit awkward considering the unconventional sleeping area, but it’s honestly more comfortable than you expected. ➛ Levi actually ends up falling asleep before you. You thought you were tired? Try being awake for 22 hours straight waiting for an exclusive merch drop you just couldn’t miss. He is out, and nothing you do can wake him. ➛ You both end up waking around noon thanks to your little late night stunt. Consider yourselves lucky that Satan saved you guys a plate before Beel got to it.

Satan ➛ He finds you in the House’s library, bent over at a table studying three textbooks at once. Understandable, given that it’s exam season, but it doesn’t look like you’re doing yourself any favors. ➛ And he’s right. You can’t make sense of anything in the books and you can feel a small headache coming on ➛ Satan offers to give you some help with your studies... after you’ve rested. He won’t take no for an answer, and since his room is much closer, he thinks it’s fine if you crash there while you take a break. ➛ He just has to... actually make space for you to rest first, though. He can navigate the chaos that is his room just fine, but you could easily trip on something, or worse, accidentally activate something cursed. ➛ Once that’s taken care of, you take a seat on his bed, scrolling through your D.D.D. as he takes one of the chairs, picking up a novel he bookmarked.  ➛ The scent of the books and the occasional sound of a page turning as Satan reads, along with his occasional hums of interest really helped put you at ease. After a couple of moments, despite yourself, you curl up and drift off. ➛ In between page turns, Satan would turn to check on you. When he realizes you’re asleep, he marks his novel and sets it down, turning to face you instead.  Since he knows his room can get a bit drafty sometimes, he drapes a blanket over you, smiling softly as you wrap the blanket more around yourself. ➛ You looking so cozy almost makes him want to join you, but just seeing that you’re comfy and much less stressed than before is enough right now. He instead gives you a head pat and goes back to his novel, the smile never quite leaving his face.

Asmodeus ➛ You know Asmo loves spending time together, from shopping trips to going to new places to even simple things like a tea spilling session every other night. ➛ So when you come to his room one evening to tell him sorry, you don’t really feel like a night on the town right now and would rather stay in and recharge, he’s not even as disappointed as you’d thought he’d be. ➛ He insists on pampering you both tonight, that way, you get to rest and relax with him, and he gets you all to himself for at least a couple of hours, uninterrupted. It’s a win-win scenario, in his opinion, and who are you to decline? ➛ You let him work his magic with whatever he has laying around, falling into your usual routine of talking as he does his and your nails and readies a face mask for the two of you as ambient music from his D.D.D. fills the air. ➛ When you find yourself getting sleepy, Asmo doesn’t mind at all! He puts away the stuff he used and suggests a little impromptu sleepover. ➛ You shouldn’t have been that surprised when he climbs into the bed after you, and you should’ve realized he’d be just as clingy in bed as he is normally. He can and will be all over you if you let him— running his fingers through your hair, cuddles like there’s no tomorrow...  ➛ His ridiculously soft and comfy bed definitely isn’t helping matters, and you drift off in record time. ➛ He’ll make sure you’re all tucked in and maybe internally squeal at how adorable you’re being, leaning into his touch in your sleep makes his heart do a flip ➛ You wake up the next day feeling like a new person, and next to you, looking surprisingly photogenic for someone half-asleep, is Asmo, tugging you back under the covers because it’s warmer with you in there. 

Beelzebub ➛ He’s been waiting at R.A.D.’s entrance for 20 minutes now. You were supposed to meet him so you could head to Hell’s Kitchen and hang out for a bit, but there’s still no sign of you and you haven’t read any of his texts. ➛ He gets a text from you then. Turns out your phone was on silent, because you felt a little burnt out from school and juggling hangout times with everyone else and went straight back to the House, wanting some quiet time. ➛ You send another message apologizing for the sudden change of plans and for not seeing his messages sooner, but Beel is pretty understanding. ➛ He isn’t letting his chance at being with you go that easily, though. He drops by a store to get you a little care package (and a handful of snacks so he still has something to give you by the time he gets to the house) and heads home. ➛ A few moments later, your door opens to reveal Beel. He leaves the food he brought on your table and sits down on the edge of your bed. You decide a cuddle buddy doesn’t sound too bad right now. After all, you already had the experience of sharing a room with Beel, surely sharing a bed will be similar? ➛ ... Not exactly. He’ll unintentionally take up half your bed no matter what you two do; you’ll either be searching for space or be pulled into the space he’s occupying like some sort of demon-shaped black hole. ➛ The solution: lay on his chest. He assures you that you aren’t too heavy for him, and if he’s being honest? Your weight is actually kinda comforting. ➛ You stay like that for a while, listening to his breathing and heartbeat, and eventually the stress of the past few days melts away, and you fall asleep with your arms draped over him like a pillow. ➛ He doesn’t mind, since you’re pretty much a living teddy bear to him, and he lets himself relax, a hand resting on your back. He just hopes his stomach won’t wake you both up...

Belphegor ➛ Let me get this straight. You want Belphegor, the literal Avatar of Sloth, to take a nap with you? Chances are he’s already half-asleep and all that’s left to do is join him... if he lets you. ➛ He’ll look at you, slightly irritated, but he’s too tired to argue, and you’d be warmer than a pillow, at least, so he motions for you to get in next to him. Just don’t move around too much or he’ll hog all the blankets in retaliation. ➛ If you’re close enough with him, either one of you has unspoken permission to join the other while they’re resting, no questions asked.  ➛ Probably has a bunch of pillows and blankets stowed away in various parts of the House, so nap supplies are readily available. Saves him from having to drag his stuff from place to place. ➛ The one downside to sleeping with Belphie is that he doesn’t need any time to unwind. He can go from full attention to catching Zs in minutes, leaving you no choice but to follow him into dreamland. ➛ He does cuddle a lot, though he’ll brush it off as using you as his personal heater. He’ll complain if you try to do it first, but he won’t make any moves to actually stop you. He actually might lean into you, making up an excuse about your side being comfier. ➛ If he really, really trusts you, he’ll lend you his beloved cow-print pillow. Only five minutes tops, though, then you have to give it back. ➛  When nights are bad and he doesn’t want to wake Beel up, he used to head to the planetarium to calm himself down. Now he slips into your room and takes comfort in knowing that you’re still safe and sound. You’ve woken up several times finding Belphie nuzzled into your blanket. ➛ If he feels especially clingy, his demon form’s tail will appear, slowly but firmly wrapping itself around your waist. Good luck getting out of bed without him knowing.

[mggssocks]

Followed

Not My Gif!

Pairing: Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid

Content Warnings: None just fluff :)

Summary: Spencer makes an Instagram and stumbles across reader’s page.

Word Count: 1,899 words

A/N: This is Season 10 Spencer with Season 13 looks. Also, instead of it being Kate on the team, i put Emily instead because who doesn’t love the season 3-7 team? Also I might make a part 2 depending on how much this blows up. Honestly i’d be happy if i got one like. Anyways.. hope you enjoy!!!

masterlist // part 2 // part 3

It was 8:00 in the morning. Spencer walked in the doors of the bullpen to the bau. He sat his satchel down and began to settle in for a long day of work. It was pretty early so the team wasn’t in yet. Except for Aaron Hotchner who had gotten in an hour prior to Spencer and been in his office ever since. Apparently others had the same ‘get to work early’ mindset as Spencer. Spencer opened a case file but his attention was quickly whipped away due to the sound of the door opening. He sees Penelope Garcia with all her attention focused on her phone. Spencer quirked his eyebrows when she bumped into a fellow coworker and her attention remained on her phone while quickly mumbling a quick “sorry”. As she passed his desk, Spencer decided it would be the great time to speak. 

“Hey, Garcia.” Her feet came to a stop and her head snapped up at him. 

“Boy wonder! I’m so glad you’re here. I really need someone to talk to because if I don’t I’m going to explode!” She sits in the chair across from his desk. 

“Is everything alright?” He leaned back in his chair. 

“No… no everything is not alright. If anything.. everything is all wrong. Very very wrong. I-“ she takes in a deep breath “I was stalking Kevin’s page because the other day I seen him at the mall with another girl. And while I was 56 weeks down in his page, I accidentally liked a picture.” She explained, in a huff. 

“I’m afraid I don’t follow.” Spencer was even more confused now than before she started. 

“I liked a picture that he posted 56 weeks ago!” Her eyes were wide.

“How is that a bad thing?” His lips pouted as he’d never understand social media. 

“Ugh! Reid, you really need to get with the program and get you an Instagram. That means his picture was old and now he knows that I was looking at his page. You understand now?” She asked. 

“Oh. Yeah I understand. It’s bad that he knows you were looking at his page.” He asked as Prentiss, JJ, and Morgan had walked in. 

“Yes. And now I must go into the bat cave and wait for him to call or text me and ask what me lurking on his page was about.” She whined as she stomped her way to her office. 

“What was that about?” Prentiss asked, setting her bags down on her desk. 

“Uhh- rough morning” Spencer shrugged, still not really understanding the whole social media thing. 

“Hey do you guys have an Instagram?” He asked the three. 

“Yeah but I’m barely on it.” Prentiss answered.

“Same here” says Morgan as he takes a seat at his desk. 

“Yeah but I only get on to post the boys and myself sometimes” answers JJ. 

“What about Hotch and Rossi?” He asked.

“Yup! Rossi likes to post about his expensive wine and cigars. Hotch posts Jack every once in a while and a throwback Thursday.” JJ says. 

Spencer’s eyebrows furrowed for what seems to be the 100th time that day. 

“He doesn’t know what that is” Prentiss looks over to JJ.

“It’s something you post like an old picture of yourself every Thursday.” Morgan explains.

“Do you guys do that?” Spencer asked.

“I did last Thursday.” JJ pulls out her phone and opened the app. “This was right after Emily, Penelope, and I caught a guy who was trying to pick up Prentiss by pretending to be an FBI agent a few years ago.” She chuckled showing him a picture. 

Spencer takes her phone in his hand and examines the post. 142 likes. 57 comments. He clicks on her name which takes it to her page. 302 followers. As he scrolls, he sees a picture the team took a while ago and sees a little person profile thing the corner and clicks on it causing other names tagged to each individual team member. Except him. After he examined all of their profiles, he gives JJ back her phone and gets to work like the rest of them. He felt a little left out but he knew it was because of his own decisions and not his team. He liked that they didn’t press him about having a social media because they new he was more old school than anything. And it was ironic because he wastage youngest member of the team with the more old school habits. 

When Spencer got home he decided he wanted the social media app. The idea of being able to share with his friends and only his friends excited him. Being able to post about his favorite things for his friends to see without talking their ears off.

He opened his phone and went to the app store, typing “instagram” into the search bar. He followed the sites instructions as he made his account. Using a snapshot he took of his bookshelf as his profile picture. He sees the option to add the people in his contact list which was only his team, mom, and his mother’s caretaker. But everyone’s profile popped up and he quickly followed each and every one of them. Except for his mom and her caretaker of course. 

Soon enough, he got a follow back from Garcia, Hotch, Rossi, and JJ in that order. Morgan and Prentiss weren’t lying when they said they weren’t on often.

After two weeks, Spencer hasn’t posted anything yet, not knowing what should go on his profile. Morgan and Prentiss ended up following him back and the app ended up adjusting to his interests. Nothing but accounts about interesting facts, books, and doctor who. 

It was Friday night and the team had just got back from a case in Chicago. Spencer opened the door to his apartment and set his satchel down on the couch, exhausted. His mind wonders to get something to eat being that he wonders to get something to eat being that he hasn’t ate since before they caught the unsub. Which was about 5 hours and 7 minutes ago but he still needed to get something into his system. Spencer opened his fridge and sees 3 day old Chinese takeout. He shrugs and pops it into the microwave while looking for a book of his to reread while he eats. After he finishes dinner, he gets on his phone and subconsciously pulls up the app. He clicks onto his explore page to discover something else he likes. While scrolling, he sees a picture of someone reading and clicks on it.

765 likes

Yourfriend’sig whenever people ask me what to give you for your birthday or Christmas, I always tell them to get you a book or something green and it works every single time. Happy Birthday to my best buddy, @yourinstagram !

View all 84 comments

Spencer smiles and clicks the heart button and bookmarks it to look at later.  He liked the picture. Both the picture and caption reminded him a lot of his own love for books and the color green (hence his apartment). 

Once he got out of the shower, he brushed his teeth. He found himself subconsciously scrolling through his instagram bookmarks to find her post. He doesn’t know what it was but something about the picture brought comfort to him. As he brushed his teeth, he clicked on the post once again.This time, he actually clicked on your account. It was a private account with 186 followers. The bio read:

Y/N... bookworm.

Her profile picture consisted of a black cat surrounded by either a bunch of well taken care of plants or artificial ones. His finger hovered over the blue “follow” button. As he bent down to spit his toothpaste out, his thumb accidentally clicked the follow button. But he didn't realize so until he looked down again to see the “follow” button replaced with “requested”. His heart basically drops out of his ass. He quickly clicks the button again, taking back his follow. 

It was now one in the morning, Spencer laid in bed awake staring at his ceiling. Once again, he clicks onto the app. He scrolled down his timeline and saw a picture Penelope posted of one of her new desk animals with the caption “Got her at a thrift shop! Isn’t she cute??”. He saw that Hotch and JJ liked 45 other people. JJ also commented with two red hearts. Spencer likes the post and keeps scrolling. His thoughts wander to the post about the girl again. He’s never thought about a social media post this much since he’s created an account. He wonders what sparked his interest so much about this one. As he makes his way to the post, clicking on her account. Debating if he should follow her. She’s a total stranger. Do the others follow strangers? There’s no way JJ knows 302 people in real life. He mentally shrugs and presses the follow button. Requested. Again.

He swipes out of her account back onto the post now seeing that she commented on it.

yourinstagram thank you, bubs! ily to the moon n back <3333

It was commented thirty six seconds ago. Meaning she’s currently active. Again, Spencer’s heart sinks and he immediately regrets his decision. Going back and unfollowing her. He doesn’t know what to do with himself. He’s a mess. Over a stranger. But he feels like an idiot. Reacting the way that he did just because he saw that she was online. So he goes and follows her.... again.

After clearing out all of his apps, he turns off his phone and lays down trying to get some sleep before work in a few hours. His thoughts wander to her. What she was like. if she was nice or mean. If she was socially awkward or very outgoing. Before his thoughts could get too far into what she was like, he receives a notification from instagram. He opens his phone and clicks on the notification. His heart began to pound when he saw it.

yourinstagram would like to send you a message! 

He clicks on it.

yourinstagram You’ve followed and unfollowed me about 5 times in the past 3 hours. Is there something I can help you with?

Spencer completely forgot that other people got notifications and now he felt like some kind of creep.

spencerreid I’m sorry. I came across your friend’s Instagram post wishing you a happy birthday and i guess i got curious and wanted to follow you if that makes any sense. 

He felt so dumb. 

yourinstagram and following me once wasn’t enough for some reason???

spencerreid Sorry about that. I’m new to this whole social media thing and don’t follow any strangers. You are the first person I’m following that I don’t know in real life. Again, my apologies for the disturbance. I’ll unfollow you’re account If you’re uncomfortable with me. 

yourinstagram i just hope that you’re not one of my raging exes, someone trying to catfish me, or a psychopath lol.

Spencer smiled.

spencerreid Nope. Just me.

She leaves him one read. Spencer’s smile fades when he doesn’t see any three loading dots. She wasn’t texting him back. As he’s about to exit the app, he sees two notifications. 

yourinstagram has accepted your follow request!

yourinstagram has requested to follow you.

********

I hoped you like this!!! If this blows up,i will do another chapter!

[halcyonstorm]

The Girl at the Library Chapter 2

Pairing: Levi Ackerman/Hange Zoe

Themes: College AU, Library, Fluff, Slow Burn, Falling in Love, Female Hange Zoe, Student!Levi

Word Count: 5870

Summary: Levi visits Hange in her dorm. He misses his family but is too busy to drive. Hange has a car.

Chapter: 2/3

Warning: Mild Language

Read on AO3 here

Levi went back to his dorm room after the encounter with Hange. He seemed to be walking a bit faster.

The skip in his step, unfortunately, quickly dissipated once he walked in his room. His roommate was hanging out with a few friends, two he recognized were the guys who fucked up his laptop. As soon as they saw Levi, their conversation came to a halt. The two brats nervously gathered their things and rushed out of the room. Levi shook his head in annoyance, shutting the door behind them. He placed his wet bag on the floor. Right. He was soaked from the rain. 

“Levi, good to see you,” Erwin --his roommate-- said, slightly annoyed. There was a card game set up on the small table in their dorm. Levi didn’t respond and walked past them. He always had friends over. Levi was always pissed about it. The least he could’ve done was ask. The room was small enough as it is. Also, Erwin and his friends always left a mess.  

Levi’s and Erwin’s dorm room was small. Would Hange’s room be this small? he asked himself. He felt himself get hot. He grabbed a fresh change of clothes, went to their bathroom and changed. He wore a pair of grey sweats and a white t-shirt. He hung up all his wet clothes in their shower. Levi took a deep breath, leaving the bathroom. He spent the rest of the night thinking of his new friend, and his mood was restored.

The next day couldn’t come fast enough. He woke up at 8am that morning to go on a run and to get some of his physical homework done. He also showered, spending an extra minute than usual. He wondered if he should bring something for Hange. 

“Erwin, what snacks do you have?” He asked, starting to dress in the bathroom. He put on a pair of black jeans and an olive green t-shirt.

“Uh,” he shuffled through his ‘secret’ stash. Levi knew where it was. “I’ve got chips, granola bars, ramen, peanut butter…”

What the fuck am I gonna do with peanut butter? He asked himself. 

Levi shook his head and rolled his eyes. He finished getting dressed and grabbed a few bags of chips and stuffed them in his bag. He made sure to pack his notes too.

It was finally 10:45 and he decided to leave to go to her dorm. He brought his phone, keys, wallet, and backpack with him.

“Be back later,” Levi called out before closing the door behind him. Levi began walking to her room. He had to take the elevator up four floors, making stops along the way, but he made it. 506… On his left side, there it was. On the door were two drawn cut-outs of the two residents. He recognized Hange’s drawing right away. It was colored in with colored pencils. The character had her same brown hairstyle; closed, happy eyes; oval glasses; and a big toothy smile. She wore a green long sleeve and brown pants. Her character was waving. Under her character, it has the name “Hange” in big green block letters. The other character was of a girl with short blonde hairstyle and blue eyes. Her character was smiling but had her eyes open. That must be her roommate. The name written underneath the drawing was “Nanaba” in blue bubble letters. Levi hesitantly knocked at the door after admiring the drawings.

Hange opened the door. “Hey!” “Hi.”

She invited him in. One half of the dorm room was messy and the other was averagely neat, at least in Levi’s eyes. She shut the door behind him. 

“Ehh, I’m sorry my side of the room is kinda messy,” She confessed. She had the messy side of the room. Her bed was made, but her desk was a mess. Papers, books, and food wrappers were spread out on the desk and migrated to her bed. There were at least four empty ramen containers on her desk, which she clumsily grabbed and tossed away. Hange grabbed the papers off her desk and moved them to the side, clearing the spot for him. She lazily crumpled some food wrappers and threw them in the trash, one wrapper missing and falling on the floor. Levi shuddered. How did she live like this? The foot of her bed met the left edge of the desk. Her desk was big; It had many drawers and an overhang where she had small knick knacks including small comic book figurines, plants, and books. She had a figurine of a character with a green hooded cape on who looked like a soldier. He really liked that one.

“Let me just log you on.” She bent over the chair to use the computer. Levi put his bag down next to the desk. “Thank you.” Levi said. 

“Oh, It’s nothing,” she said. After a few moments, she stood upright, backing away from the computer. “Alright! You’re good to go. If you need my help, I’m here. I have some work to do too.” He nodded, sitting down in the very comfortable desk chair. He let out a relieved sigh. Hange chuckled.

“Comfortable, right?” She asked, jumping on her bed and crossing her legs. Levi agreed. It was comfortable. It was one of those gaming-like chairs with cushions and lower back support. He noticed she had a bunch of bookmarks tabbed which were disorganized. He began to type in “Addison’s Disease” and as he did, he noticed it was recently searched. Before he could ask about it, Hange began to speak.

“I found some articles for your paper,” she explained, not looking away from her books. “I printed them out for you.” 

Levi was pleasantly surprised. He hid a smile. “You didn’t have to do that.” 

She shrugged. “Pfft. Shush. I wanted to.” There was a pause. “Oh! I made sandwiches for us. I know it’s kinda early for lunch, but I’ve been up since 6 this morning so I’m starving. I hope you like PB&J.”

Fuck! Levi thought. Erwin’s peanut butter. I could’ve made sandwiches. He mentally smacked his forehead.

“I brought some chips,” Levi added. “Take whatever you want.” He grabbed some bags from his backpack and placed them on her bed. He grabbed a blue bag of Doritos, she grabbed a bag of Fritos.

“Thanks,” she said, popping the bag open by squeezing it. Some chips flew out of the bag, falling on the bed. 

“What?” Levi asked, bewildered. Why did she open it like that?

“I’m not good with pulling the seal open…” she admitted, chuckling. Levi found it weird. Levi locked eyes with her and opened the bag by pulling the seal open with ease. Hange pouted.

“No fair.” She laughed. He was never going to get any work done if she kept distracting him. He grabbed a sandwich and ate it. He really enjoyed it, especially since she made it. 

“Thanks for lunch,” he said. He was kind of hungry anyways. 

“No problem!”

The two began to work.

-

About three hours passed before Levi finished his paper. He ended his final sentence with a loud tap of the period on the keyboard. He took a deep breath and looked Hange's way. She was prone, resting her chin in her left palm. Her feet were in the air, crossed at the ankles. She was reading a textbook and had a pen and paper on her right side, probably answering homework. She looked very studious and attractive. 

“I’m finished with my paper…” Levi said aloud. “Can I read it to you?” 

Hange quickly wrote something down on her paper, dropped the pen, and pushed herself up to sit criss-crossed.

“Yep! I’m all ears.”

He began to read through his paper. He realized during his speech that this was probably the most he’s said to Hange. He felt guilty in a way. He was bad with words, so he felt it was better if he kept his mouth shut. Hange didn’t mind, though. She enjoyed hearing him talk, as she found it very soothing. As he read, he felt her eyes on him. He finally finished reading his paper.

“I have a few suggestions on some wording, but besides that, I think it’s great,” Hange said, getting out of bed. She walked to Levi’s right, then squatted. Levi felt himself get nervous. She was really close. He thought she smelled good. 

“Scroll up a little…” she said, gesturing to him to scroll up. He did as she asked. “There. That sentence: ‘Medications used to treat Addison’s Disease include mineralocorticoids and glucocorticoids, such as fludrocortisone and hydrocortisone.’ It is kinda wordy. They’re both corticosteroids, so I think you should shorten it. You can mention the classes of the drugs in the next sentence, if you wanted to. Also, ‘A big teaching point includes following the steroid regimen exactly as prescribed. Abruptly discontinuing this medication will result in adrenal suppression.’ I think there is a better word to use than ‘big’. What about ‘important’, or ‘essential’ or ‘paramount’...”

He turned his head to look at her. Hange’s sentence had trailed off the moment he looked at her. She was stunned by his eyes. She hadn’t been this close to him, so that moment was the first time she could admire his eyes up close. They were a beautiful, piercing steel blue. When she realized he was staring back at her, she stood up, shaking out her legs nervously. 

“‘Paramount’ will do,” Levi said after a moment passed. He typed it in.

“Good job, Levi. You’ll score well with your paper,” Hange said, trying not to stutter. She meant it. She was proud of what he wrote.

“Thanks. I couldn’t have done it without your help, though, four-eyes.” Hange liked the nickname. She smiled and patted his shoulder before going back to sit on her bed. She grabbed her phone and realized she didn’t have his phone number. Did he have a phone? He must have. She thinks she saw him use it once. 

“If you need my computer again, or just wanna text, I can give you my number,” Hange blurted out. When Levi looked at her, he realized she wasn’t looking at him when she asked. He agreed, handing his phone to her. 

“Go for it,” he said. He was attempting to sound ‘cool’ (and it worked). Hange reached to grab his unlocked phone. She found his contacts and put her name and number in. She sent herself a text message from his phone. She was hoping he would text her more. When she closed out to the home screen, she noticed his background was a photo of him and a small, dark haired lady.

“Is this your mother?” Hange asked, handing his phone back to him.

He looked down at his phone and nodded. “Yeah. This photo is from my first day at the university.” He had swiveled the chair to face the bed and her. “I remember she was sad to see me go, but happy too. She was proud of me.” Hange’s heart swelled. Levi seemed to remember her with a bittersweet smile. Hange frowned a bit.

“Is something wrong?” Hange asked.

“I just… haven’t seen her in a while. I’ve been so busy with assignments and exams that I haven’t had time to go visit her. Every time I have free time, I’m studying or catching up on sleep...”

“I can take you,” Hange offered instantaneously. She didn’t even have to think about it. She wanted to help her friend.

Levi’s eyes widened. “What?”

“You have to get stuff done and I have a car on campus and a license Let me take you.” She explained. Before he could bud in, she continued. “What day would you like to go? This weekend? I’m free this weekend.”

“I’d never get any studying done if we did that,” Levi said. We. 

“You didn’t say no,” Hange retorted with a smirk. “I’ll be good. I won’t distract you. Promise.”

Levi took a deep sigh. He really wanted to, more than he let on. “Saturday morning works for me.”

-

A few days passed by and now Friday came along. Levi’s paper was due in three days, so he wanted to go to the library to revise it before printing and submitting it. He knew Hange worked on Friday’s too, so he had another motive. 

His class had ended, then he was on his way to the library. When he entered, he heard laughter. Don’t people know they’re supposed to be quiet in the library? He wondered, but he didn’t pay much mind to it. There was a blonde woman standing at the front of the counter, leaning over it. He heard Hange’s voice and laugh and felt his heart skip a beat.

“I gotta see if the patron needs help,” Hange said to the girl without noticing who walked in.

“Zoe, since when do you actually care about your job?” The blonde said playfully. Hange smiled and rolled her eyes. Zoe? Hange made her way around the desk and saw Levi standing, looking at some books in the entryway.

“Levi! Good to see you,” Hange said, pleasantly surprised. She held her hands behind her back. “Computer?”

“Yeah.”

“Very good, come here.” Hange walked towards the desk, then around it. Levi stayed on the opposing side. “Levi, this is Nanaba. Nanaba, this is Levi. Nanaba is my roommate.”

“Nice to meet you, Levi,” Nanaba said, smiling at him. He nodded, exchanging pleasantries. Hange wrote his name down on the paper. “Okay, Levi. You’re all set.” He muttered a “thanks'' and then set his stuff down by the computer. He heard Nanaba whispering something to Hange. She shook her head, waving at her to follow her towards the back. Hange didn’t want to disturb Levi, and she also didn’t want Levi to hear what they were talking about.

Hange and Nanaba sat down at the table in the break room. Hange sipped on a can of soda.

“That’s Levi?” Nanaba asked, punching Hange’s shoulder playfully.

“Yeah. He’s just my friend. I don’t know why you care so much.”

“You two were in our dorm… alone?! Do I need to clean the room again?”

“No! He just had to work on his project. My side of the room is messy, though.”

“Uh huh… I can tell by the way he looks at you that you two aren’t ‘just friends’ like you claim,” Nanaba concluded, leaning back and crossing her legs.

“I told you it’s nothing,” Hange reinforced, getting flustered and annoyed. “Besides, he wouldn’t even be attracted to someone like me anyways. I am extremely messy and clumsy. His shirts are never wrinkled, and he is always extremely clean and neat.”

Nanaba rolled her eyes. “Haven’t you heard of ‘opposites attract’?” Hange made a “pfft” sound.

“That’s such bullshit.” Hange felt like Nanaba was giving her false hope.

“Well you wouldn’t be asking me for advice on your crush then if you thought the whole ‘opposites attract’ thing was bullshit, would you? No.” 

The small bell above the entrance dinged, so Hange stood up. “Nanaba, I’ve got work to do, you know. That’s what you do at a job. Also, he is not my crush. ” Nanaba sighed and stood too. “I’ll see you at home.” She waved before walking ahead. “Bye, Levi. Nice to meet you.” She said in passing. Levi said “see you” to her. The patron who walked in was the same blonde guy with a big nose from last week. Levi recognized him.

“Mike!” Nanaba exclaimed, kissing his cheek. “Good to see you. Ready to go?” Mike nodded, taking her hand. “See you later, Zoe!” She called out before the couple left together. Hange and Levi were alone again. Hange came to the front of the library where Levi was. She sat down in the chair next to him. He turned to face her. Her cheeks were red.

“What time do you want to leave tomorrow?” Hange asked, crossing her legs. 

“Is 9 good? I wanna make sure I spend enough time with her.” Levi suggested. Hange smiled. 

“That’s fine. Just let me know when you want me to pick you up then. I can stay in the area, just send me the address.”

“You can stay, you know,” Levi offered. “You… don’t have to leave.” Hange looked shocked. She was very grateful for his offer.

“Are you sure? I mean, that’s very generous-”

“Don’t question me,” Levi said, looking back at the computer. That means ‘yes, I’m sure’.

“Thanks, Levi,” Hange said, standing up. “I’ll meet you at your dorm at 9 then we can get on the road.”

“Sounds good, Zoe.”

Hange woke up early the next day. She wanted to make sure everything went perfectly. She even got up early to clean out her car, which was a mess. It was full of junk. She had a pre-owned black four-seater that was well loved. She made it as clean as possible, making sure to wipe off the seats of any crumbs. It looked acceptable, and Hange went back inside. She realized at this point how long of a walk it was from her dorm to the parking lot. Nonetheless, she took the extra trip. She wanted to make a good impression. When she got back to her dorm, she packed a small backpack. Levi had texted her the address, and it was about an hour away. It was in the city, however, so it would probably take more time. She kept reminding herself to keep her mouth shut during the car ride to help him study.

She arrived at his dorm room a bit late, around 9:10. She felt really bad about this, but Levi didn’t seem to mind. Levi wore a grey university hoodie with black jeans. It was supposed to be cold today. Hange wore a black zip-up jacket with a pair of blue jeans and white sneakers. Her hair was half-up and half-down. Levi liked those colors on her. They headed for the elevator and walked to the parking lot. Hange omitted the part of her morning where she cleaned out her car as they talked about their mornings. They reached her car. She opened the trunk. He put his bag in the trunk and shut it.

“Don’t forget to keep your books in the front so you can study. I packed snacks. If you want any just let me know,” Hange said, unlocking the front door and getting in the car. 

“Thanks,” Levi said, getting in the car. He closed the door. Hange locked the car and opened her phone. She began searching his mom’s address on the GPS. It ‘dinged’ when it found her house, and she propped her phone up in the holder.

As Hange began to drive, she noticed how Levi murmurs to himself when he studies. She can hear him repeating medications to himself and reciting the cards. Hange smiled. She found it endearing. The roads were pretty busy. They had left by 9:30am. Hange enjoyed driving, however, she wasn’t the most safe driver. She would make sudden stops, jerking Levi and Hange forward in their seats. Levi was grateful his seatbelt worked. She would make sharp turns and didn’t allow the wheel to return when the turn was finished. With one of the stops, it threw the cards that were in his lap on the floor. Levi took a deep sigh, packing up his cards.

“Sorry, Levi.”

“I’m taking a break,” Levi said, closing his eyes. “I have this exam coming up and it’s all about antihypertensive medications. There are too many, I think I’m going to develop hypertension.”

Hange laughed out loud. “They aren’t that bad. You’ve gotta come up with songs and mnemonics to remember them, then it's easy!” Levi scoffed.

“Do I look like someone who comes up with songs to remember things?” Levi asked, crossing his arms.

“No,” Hange quickly replied. “But you happen to be sitting next to someone who does. Read some of the meds to me.”

“Oh, god. No,” Levi moaned, opening the window. The breeze made his hair blow in the wind. Hange was lucky enough to catch a glance. She caught a whiff of his shampoo.

“I will stop this car right now,” Hange threatened playfully, raising her voice. She made a jolting stop at a light. Levi jerked forward again and groaned.

“Fine.”

He pulled his cards out of his backpack again, finding the medication cards. “First are the ACE inhibitors. These medications include the -prils… Lisinopril, enalapril. These help lower the blood pressure by inhibiting the action of angiotension converting enzyme, which causes vasoconstriction. Adverse effects include high potassium, orthostatic hypotension, angioedema, persistent coughing…”

“Hmmm… ACE,” Hange said proudly. Levi shook his head in confusion. “What?”

“ACE: Angioedema, Cough, hypErkalemia.” Levi was shocked. “Thanks…” He murmured.

“Give me another one,” Hange challenged. Levi shuffled through his stack. “What about Beta blockers?”

“Ah…” Hange sighed. “Tell me about them. I only know so much, you know.” You can’t say you know then say I know that you only know so much. You are confusing, Levi thought.

“Beta blockers act on beta1 and beta2-adrenergic receptors, which can affect the heart, lungs, and bladder. These will lower blood pressure, as well as cause bradycardia, hypoglycemia, fatigue, and bronchospasms in patients with respiratory issues such as asthma and COPD,” Levi explained. Hange was so happy. She was helping him, and got to hear him talk. She decided at that moment that she loved his voice.

“Beta blockers seem to slow everything down,” Hange began. “Beta blockers make everything low and slow, right? They lower heart rate and blood pressure, they lower blood sugar, quote en quote ‘lower energy’ by causing fatigue… That’s what I would try to remember.”

Levi was impressed, and he isn’t impressed easily. She was extremely clever with her mnemonics, and she wasn’t even a pharmacology major.

“You are…” Levi began. Hange looked at him for a moment while they stopped at another light. He felt woozy, but in a good way. She looked nice. “Such a nerd.” Hange beamed.

“I’ll help you more later but I gotta focus on the road now. Levi smiled, putting his cards away. Hange noticed this, and turned the radio on. She got distracted trying to pick a channel, which made Levi frantic.

“I will pick a channel. Focus on the road, four-eyes,” He decided, shaking his head. His heart almost fell out of his chest. He made a mental note to never let her drive him anywhere again. Hange sighed, submissively agreeing, putting both hands on the wheel. They got into the city. Hange hadn’t been to the city often, even though it was not too far away. Levi disliked the city. It was too loud for him. Being out at the Uni didn’t make it as easy for him to sleep as he had originally thought. He was used to hearing the hustle and bustle of the city, that his ears buzzed with silence at night time on campus. Levi attempted to give Hange directions as they weaved their way through the busy roads. She almost got into two car accidents. She just laughed it off, but Levi was frazzled.

Finally, Levi thought. Out of the main city. Levi took a deep, deep breath. His mom lived on the outskirts of the city, which was very convenient. They were almost there. Hange finally found the house and pulled into the driveway. The house was small and a dark navy blue. Hange parked the car, and opened the trunk. She handed Levi his bag and they headed to the door. Hange was standing awfully close behind him which made him nervous. He knocked on the door.

A few moments later, the door opened. A beautiful lady opened the door. She had raven hair, steel blue eyes, and a beautiful smile.

“Levi!” She exclaimed, smiling wide. She hugged him. Levi patted her back, and Hange saw a smile creep on his face. “What a pleasant surprise!”

“Good to see you, mom. I wanted to visit.” They broke away and his mom peered over his shoulder. 

“Who’s this?”

“This is my friend, Hange,” Levi said, introducing Hange. She smiled and put out her hand. “It’s wonderful to meet you, Mrs. Ackerman.” His mom shook her hand.

“Call me Kuchel,” She insisted. She invited them in. 

“Hange actually drove me today,” Levi began, setting his bags down on the side. “I needed to study so she offered to drive…” He wasn’t sure why he told his mom this information. Maybe he felt he needed an excuse as to why he came with a girl.

“That’s so lovely! Well I’m glad the two of you decided to come down. Uncle Kenny will be stopping by later. I’m sure he’d be happy to see you. Miss Hange, are you staying for dinner?”

Hange blushed, scratching her head. “I’d love to, if that’s okay.”

“Great! Make yourself at home.”

Hange admired his house. It was very cozy and extremely neat. There was a big open living room area when they first walked in, a kitchen and dining room to their left, and other rooms to the right. It smelt of clean laundry. She liked it a lot. There were assorted pictures hung on the wall. She shoved her hands in her pockets as she admired the photos. Kuchel had a photo of Levi hanging, which Hange stared at for the longest. It was a photo of Levi with his mom at an event, most likely high school graduation. The photo was taken outside on a sunny day. He wore a blue cap and gown. Kuchel’s arm was around his shoulder, smiling wide. Levi wore a small smile. She saw another picture, which was of Kuchel and an older man with long hair. Hange suddenly felt a tug at her sleeve. Levi.

“Take your shoes off,” he said. Hange slipped her shoes off and put them on the rack. 

“Levi! Hange!” Kuchel called. “Would you like some tea?” They both agreed. They wandered into the small dining room and sat across from each other. Hange liked how Levi looked that day. He looked comfortable. His grey sweater made his eyes stand out. He almost caught her standing. Kuchel carefully brought over the steeped pot of tea and sat down at the head of the table.

“I boiled some earl grey tea, I hope that’s okay. That’s Levi’s favorite,” Kuchel said, cupping both her hands around the teacup. Levi picked his tea cup up by placing his fingers around the rim, taking a slow sip.

“Hange,” Kuchel said, smiling at the girl. “How do you guys meet?”

Oh great. Here she goes.

“Well, Levi happened to come to the library I work at to work on his project. I was able to help him out… Although I study botanicals, I read a lot so I know a lot about different topics. One of them happens to be drugs. Medications, I mean. So, anyways, he and I started talking and hanging out and whatnot. And here we are,” Hange explained. When she finished, she looked at Levi. He was staring at her. Her eyes lit up again, and Levi couldn’t look away. Doesn’t everyone know they shouldn’t stare into the sun?

“That’s lovely!” Kuchel exclaims. She sips her tea. “Levi usually doesn’t ask for help. But I’m glad you were able to help him. I remember back in elementary school, he would always insist on doing the projects himself. My stubborn boy. He gets that from me, you know. I can be so stubborn sometimes.” She took a pause, and Levi jumped in.

“Mom,” Levi intervened. Kuchel looked at her son. Kuchel could tell she may have been embarrassing him. “I’m gonna go study.” Come with me, Hange, he wanted to add. Hange finished her tea, and stood up. “Thank you for the tea, Kuchel. I’d love to hear more of your stories, but I offered to help Levi study.” Kuchel smiled, squeezing Hange’s shoulder.

“It’s okay, go on ahead.” The two nodded. Levi led her down the hall, and opened a door. It looked like Levi’s bedroom. It was extremely tidy. He also had a desk. It wasn’t too big, but did the job. He had some drawers with some photos on top. He kept the door open.

“You can take the desk chair. I’ll sit on the bed,” Levi concluded. He sat on the bed, pulling his knees up. He took out his drug flash cards.

“Levi, do you have a white board? Or poster board?” Hange asked. 

“Why?”

“You’ll see.” Levi remembered he had an easel in the back of his closet. He stood up to retrieve it. He finally set it up. It was wide, which was perfect. It’s spotless, Hange thought. It’s like he never used it.

“My mom got this for me but I have yet to use it,” Levi said. Did he hear me?

“Okay,” Hange began. “So, we talked about ACE inhibitors and Beta Blockers, right? So, let’s go through the rest and compare them all.” She took out a purple marker, beginning to write on the board. In the center, she wrote “Anti-HTN Meds”. She drew an arrow to the left corner, writing “ACE Inhibitors” and writing all its information. She did the same with Beta Blockers.

“What’s next?” Hange asked, looking at Levi.

“Thiazide diuretics,” Levi sighed. “This is HCTZ. It helps lower blood pressure by removing fluids from the body, resulting in diuresis. Side effects include hypokalemia and hyponatremia, orthostatic hypotension.” Hange wrote as he spoke. He was surprised she can write so fast. 

“Okay! So, it seems that a common theme is orthostatic hypotension, no?” She questioned, not facing him. She grabbed a red marker to write “orthostatic hypotension” and replaced the other one written. As Levi read off multiple classifications of medications, Hange created the web. She made a map that connected the similarities of the medications, while making it organized enough to understand the differences. Levi was impressed for the second time that day. Hange was sincerely helping him conceptualize and comprehend the information. Then, he realized Hange hadn’t sat down since they began studying. 

“Oi, don’t break your back,” Levi said. 

“Haha! I’m fine! I’ve only been standing since around 11 am...” She took her phone out of her pocket and turned it on for the time. “...it’s almost 3 now! Wow! We really pushed through for hours! That’s fantastic!” She smiled wide at him, but Levi could tell she was exhausted from standing.

Levi hopped off his bed. “Lay down,” He ordered. Hange furrowed her brows, but didn’t protest. She sprawled supine on his bed, sighing. “Thanks, Levi,” She exhaled, closing her eyes. His bed was still a bit warm from when he was occupying it. It was lower than her bed at her dorm, but she liked it. 

“Let’s take a break,” Levi decided. He had a small flatscreen TV mounted on the wall in his room. He walked to the TV to grab the remote, and turned it on. He admired Hange for a brief moment as he passed her to sit in the desk chair. She looked tired. He put on a crime documentary. Hange perked up automatically. Her eyes widened with interest.

“Honestly, I’m not surprised you like these,” Levi assumed. She chuckled and replied: “I guess we’re both freaks after all.” It made Hange’s heart happy that they had something in common. She was worried Levi wouldn’t like her since she was so different from him, but maybe she had a chance now. She was so absorbed in the show that she didn’t realize Levi left the room to grab something to eat. Levi greeted his mom.

“Hi, honey,” Kuchel responded. “How’s Hange?”

“She’s fine. I wanted to get us something to eat.”

“Oh! You’re in luck,” Kuchel cheered, opening a cabinet to grab two bowls. “I just heated up some soup for myself. Would you like some? It’s wild rice.”

“Sounds good,” Levi replied. Kuchel filled two bowls. 

“She’s pretty, your friend Hange,” Kuchel said. She wasn’t facing Levi when she spoke. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you two ended up dating. You seem to like her a lot.” Levi felt his face flush bright red.

“Thanks for the food,” He ignored her comment, taking the bowls to his room. He made sure to keep his face out of his mother’s sight. Kuchel giggled softly to herself. She knew he wouldn’t dare to reply to a comment that he knew was true.

He came back to the room with the two bowls. “Here’s lunch,” He said, handing her the bowl. Hange was sitting with her knees to her chest, intently staring at the screen. She looked toward him when he spoke, accepting the bowl in two cupped hands. “Thank you!” She smiled wide. He smiled too. He loved her smile. “When did you get this, anyways?”

“I left the room to get it. I said, ‘Hange, I’m getting us lunch.’ You didn’t hear me?”

Hange chuckled in embarrassment. “I guess I was too absorbed in the show. Sorry.” Levi shook his head lightly and sat down. He attempted to move the chair closer to the bed without her noticing. He was successful. Hange was sitting up on the bed with her legs criss-crossed, bowl in her lap. Levi was cross-legged in the desk chair, which was right next to the bed. Hange didn’t seem to mind or even notice until she had turned to look to her right, and she realized Levi was so close to her. His face was really close. He felt her staring, but couldn’t dare to look back. His heart would’ve exploded. 

“You’re staring is creeping me out, four-eyes,” Levi said, startling Hange.

“Oh, yeah?” Hange chuckled. She suddenly grabbed his chin and turned his head towards hers. His wide eyes were staring into hers now. He felt like his heart was about to explode. “What about now?”

“...Creep,” He murmured. The tone of his voice changed entirely compared to his previous statement. Hange noticed this. His voice was soft and nervous. Levi felt his whole body start to heat up. He felt his heart throbbing in his head. He felt his breath hitch in his throat. He gently placed his hand on her cheek. She accepted his touch. He leaned in hesitantly, closing his eyes. Hange did the same, and finally there was no space between them anymore. Their lips collided.  She kissed his lips softly, as if she was nervous to kiss too hard. Levi had kissed girls before, but it was never like this. Never so emotional. Never so breathtaking. Never so soft or warm or gentle. He never wanted it to end. He was smitten by her. Their lips parted. She wasn’t extremely close after they parted, but she kept her eyes focused on his. Hange felt her heart pulsating in her chest. He looked into her rich hazel eyes again. He swore he fell in love with her in that instant.

[hermannsthumb]

From horny twitter: Hermann writes a very very detailed review of a vibrator online

not sfw below cut!!!!!!!!!!! 

----------------------------

Now, usually, Newt doesn’t mess around when he’s on the clock, because that’d be very unprofessional of him and that’s totally not who he is, but he’s in a little bit of a rut with his current project and could use the distraction. Online shopping is his favorite go-to distraction these days: he can lose himself in size charts and color options and hunts for coupon codes and forget, even for a few minutes, that the end of the world is accelerating towards them at an intimidating rate. Plus, he can write off half his shit as work-related expenses. Win-win. Though maybe not this particular search.

Newt has a pretty reliable arsenal of sex toys he’s used on rotation since he packed up and shipped across the world for the PPDC, but the ten-year warranty vibe he’s used since PhD #3 (and his favorite of the bunch) finally crapped out on him last week after a historically intense fight with Hermann got him historically wound up. Eleven years ain’t bad. After testing out a different charger, poking around in the wiring, and even going so far as to zap it a few times with some sorta-stolen drift tech to see if it stirred any life back into it, he finally decided it was time to just mourn, move on, and buy a new one. (Even if, unfortunately, his particular favorite model was discontinued when the company’s factory was destroyed in a kaiju attack and they never quite managed to recover. More casualties of the war.)

The sex toy market is truthfully booming during the apocalypse. It makes sense, Newt guesses—anything for a distraction. Personally, for Newt, orgasms tend to dampen his own existential dread, even if it’s just for a few minutes. He scrolls idly through a few Top Ten For 2023 listicles on various sex magazine websites to see if anything jumps out at him (some of the recommended toys are dildos he already has, and vibes that are a little beyond his k-sci paycheck), just hoping for something to jump out at him. Apparently he missed out on a limited-edition run of jaeger and kaiju-themed vibes and dildos that came out in early January, which he’s honestly a little pissed about—he’s the top expert on kaiju biology, god damn it! Didn’t anyone want to consult with him about their hypothetical junk? Accuracy matters.

“It’s all off,” Newt mutters grumpily as he examines a 360 view of one of the kaiju dildos. Trespasser. “It’s not even the right color. Fucking amateurs. Did they even try?”

“What are you doing?” Hermann says.

Newt slams his laptop shut. Hermann decided to cut his lunch break short today, apparently. “Shopping,” he says.

“You sounded awfully angry about something, is all,” Hermann says. He clacks over to his half of the lab and shrugs off his big parka, then pauses. “Do you need to...talk about it?”

“No,” Newt says.

Hermann breathes out in obvious relief. “Good,” he says.

He takes his usual spot at his chalkboard and resumes his calculating. Newt re-opens his laptop and scrolls away from Trespasser before he can make himself angry over anatomical inaccuracies again. The jaeger vibes from the collection are pretty cool, actually; the designs are a lot cleaner, and their artistic license is a lot more forgivable. The highest-rated of the set is one obviously (but not enough to invoke copyright infringement, if that can even exist for a jaeger) modeled off of Coyote Tango, with like, a million different settings, and an astronomical cost to match. Newt eyes it enviously. He could be shoving that up his ass right now if he’d just signed up for a stupid email list last year.

He follows the link to Amazon to read through some of the reviews enviously, too. Life-changing; best money ever spent; warranty lasts a lifetime. Ten stars across the board. Sold out, obviously. No idea when it’ll be back in stock. He could get the Striker Eureka model for twice the original cost as when it came out, if he wanted, but the idea of constantly having to associate the twenty-something punk Hansen kid with his intimate affairs makes him shudder.

A nine-star review for the Coyote Tango model from someone named MathLover69 is the only one to make Newt really pause, on account of how absolutely insane it is.

I saved quite a few paychecks to purchase this vibrator, and though the cost is steep, I must say it is absolutely worth it. As opposed to my normal vibrator (here another vibe is linked, and Newt’s eyebrows jump at that price, too), which has only five settings, an admittedly bulky body, and average battery life, the CT2023 has a generous ten, a sleeker design, and charges fully in a matter of minutes. The orgasms I have experienced while using it are higher in quality (and more numerous) than any resulting previously from masturbation, though I have not tried beyond setting six yet. It also works wonders for stress relief. (I have an incredibly irritating colleague, and nothing calms me down so much as a quick round with the CT2023 after a spat with him.)

The body is versatile enough to be either inserted into one’s—

Newt feels heat rise to his cheeks in spite of himself, and he skims the second paragraph of MathLover69’s review to get the gist of it—that there are, uh, plenty of ways to utilize the vibe, that it’s discreet and small enough to wear to work (if you were inclined to do so, as MathLover69 implies he might’ve been) and that when combined with the Yamarashi dildo, the pleasurable experience increased tenfold. Talk about oversharing. Jeez.

My only complaint would be that the design is a poor approximation of the real Coyote Tango, and for that I’ve docked a star. I would recommend this product.

“This guy is a total nut,” Newt says to himself.

“Hm?” Hermann says.

Newt considers the implications of showing Hermann the vibrator listing: Hermann will know he was shopping for sex toys, Hermann will know he was shopping for kaiju and jaeger-themed sex toys, Hermann will know he was shopping for kaiju and jaeger-themed sex toys during working hours a mere ten feet away from him. Embarrassing, but on the other hand, MathLover69’s review is too funny to not share with someone else. “Hey, Hermann,” Newt says, angling his laptop towards Hermann. “Look. Who comments shit like this?”

Hermann descends his ladder carefully and inches up behind Newt’s shoulder, squinting at his laptop screen. He immediately turns bright red. Newt must’ve offended his Victorian sensibilities with the mere suggestion of self-abuse. “Oh,” he says. “Er.”

“Way TMI,” Newt says. “Listen to this line. ‘With the Yamarashi toy inserted into one’s mouth, and the CT2023 inserted up one’s—'”

“Well, how else is one meant to review a masturbatory aid?” Hermann snaps, surprising Newt. He looks oddly flustered. “Details can be—er—helpful. Can’t they?”

“Sure, dude,” Newt snorts. “Except they’re obviously just screwing with people. They literally have a 69 in their username.” He taps at the MathLover69, and doesn’t mention—on behalf of Hermann’s delicate mathematician feelings—that the MathLover part is obviously meant as a joke too.

“Well,” Hermann says. “Perhaps it’s just his—er, their birthdate.”

Newt turns around to stare at Hermann, taking in his red cheeks, his red ears, and the gaze he’s fixed steadily on his shoes. It’s all Newt can do to not to gape at him. “Hermann, you’re kidding,” he says. “Right?”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Hermann says.

“You didn’t,” Newt says.

“I,” Hermann stammers. “Well—”

“I didn’t even know you—”

“That I what?” Hermann says.

Newt gives a half-shrug. Hermann doesn’t seem the type to engage in any sort of vice, let alone this kind. And especially not with the type of sex toys he apparently gravitates towards. (If Newt was a little bolder, and had a little less shame and care for hygiene, he might ask to check out the Yamarashi, because anatomical inaccuracies aside, wow that sounds awesome.) “I mean, you know,” Newt says. “You’re kinda you. No offense.”

Hermann takes offense. “I am human,” he says. “I am allowed to masturbate, Newton, and I was merely attempting to educate other customers about the—product—with my thoroughness.” He adds, awkwardly, “My review was voted very helpful, as you can see.”

“Okay,” Newt says with a grin. “I get it. Sorry.”

Hermann marches back over to his side of the lab with a scowl. Newt waits until he’s sure Hermann’s not watching him, and is too distracted by muttering angrily under his breath, to bookmark MathLover69’s page of reviews.

It turns out (as Newt revisits the page later that night, in the privacy of his bunk) Hermann buys and reviews a truly staggering amount of dildos and sex toys, and on top of that, has absolutely zero filter behind the wall of anonymity. It’s to the extent that some of his reviews read like goddamn sexts.

It took me three occasions to successfully work myself up to taking in the entire length…

My orgasm was so pleasurable I alarmed my colleague with the noise I made, who believed me to have injured myself…

The highest vibration setting is a bit of a disappointment…

These are excellent for double penetration…

It also turns out Hermann is a veritable sex fiend. Or at least a masturbation fiend. Judging by his reviews alone, Hermann’s purchased more than a dozen different toys in the past three years alone. That’s four a year. One every three months. That’s not even including buttplugs, which (according to other reviews) he sometimes just wears into the lab (“work”) for the hell of it, which Newt isn’t even going to think about right now. How the hell has Hermann kept this much of his life under wraps? When the hell does he have time to jerk off as much as he apparently does? No wonder they never seem to have any fucking funding; all of Hermann’s paychecks are funneled directly into his—well.

Newt recalls the faux-injury incident Hermann mentioned in a comment with mild embarrassment. No wonder Hermann had been so weird and flushed when he opened his door, and made excuses to say bye to him so quickly—Newt just caught him (oh, boy) immediately following the best orgasm of his life. Well, mild embarrassment, and a little more than mild arousal. What Newt would’ve given to have been there five minutes earlier, to watch Hermann in the act of the best orgasm of his life, to maybe even be the one to cause it…

What Newt would give to use Hermann’s fancy-shmancy vibrator on him, or literally anything from his giant masturbatory arsenal. Or even just watch him use it on himself. Hermann’s just so damned buttoned-up and uptight—it’s all about the contradictions. Juxtapositions. Newt unzips his jeans and sticks his hand down his boxers. “Stupid Hermann,” he moans, as he begins to bring himself off to the image of Hermann with that stupid kaiju dildo down his throat and that stupid jaeger vibe up his ass. Negotiator of peace between the two? Stupid joke, stupid Hermann. Or maybe he’s picturing Hermann showing up to the lab, all plugged up and loose from using a different vibe on himself that morning. Or maybe Hermann pushing two dildos into himself at once. How the hell can he even manage that? Ass his size— “Oh, goddamn it,” Newt moans again, and comes all over his hand.

Whatever. It’s not like Hermann’s ever going to find out about this.

[tundrainafrica]

Title: A Tale of Two Slaves (7/17)

Summary:  “Soulmates don’t exist. Fate doesn’t exist. Everything is a choice.” At that moment, Levi could only watch as she made the choice for him.“

Reincarnation AU. Levi remembers everything from their past life. Hange doesn’t.

Note: I was busy with fic exchange pieces for a while but will be focusing on updating my multi chapter fics now. As always, feedback is very much appreciated :D

Other Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 8

Link to cross-postings: AO3

“So you’re Levi Ackerman?” The woman who had just entered the room looked excited. Too excited.

After being kept waiting that long, Levi was in no mood for anything, especially unnecessary pleasantries. For the past thirty minutes at least, he had been sitting on the couch of a quaint office. It was spacious and there was at least enough room on the couch to elevate his knee comfortably. Probably the reason he had the self control to give a curt nod in reply.

“I’m a fan! I watched a few of your events actually and I’m so glad to have you here,” she said too enthusiastically. She paused for a second and shook her head. “No, I’m horrified about you being injured which caused you to end up here but I’m just really excited to get to know you.”

Levi didn’t feel the need to reply.

She walked to her desk and dropped her canvas bag before sitting on the couch in front of Levi. “Sorry for being a little late. I just came out from another meeting and went out to get something to eat after. Maybe I could give you my number and you could text me if you get here before I do.” She took a post-it out of her purse and scrawled a few numbers on it and slid it towards Levi.

Shouldn’t you have my number? Somehow it was hard to believe that she was a counselor. “Name?” Levi asked.

“Shela. Just call me Shela.”

Levi had met those types of people before who go by nicknames. More often than not, he couldn’t blame them, usually they had a very old fashioned or embarrassing name behind it. He couldn’t believe someone as transparent or excitable as her who didn’t look like she had much control of her filter, would have issues about how embarrassing a name was though.

“I have a very old fashioned first name.” Shela added, only confirming Levi’s suspicions. “Shela… Sierra - Hotel - Echo - Lima - Alpha.”

Levi typed the name on his phone and saved the number.

Last Name? Academic History? He set the rest of the details aside. As long as he knew her name, he could probably get through enough sessions to at least keep both his coach and Erwin satisfied. Going to a counselor was not his idea after all. It was his coach apparently who had requested it and it was Erwin who had pushed for it. Without twice a day training or even the freedom to go wherever he wanted without being completely exhausted within hours, Levi had not much of anything else to do anyway.

Shela brought out a notebook from her purse, opened it to a bookmark paged and wrote something on it before looking up at him. Levi couldn’t help but note that when she wasn’t looking ashamed or overly enthusiastic and she did look like she knew what she was doing.

“I’m going to skip the question of ‘what brings you here’ because I think we all know why you’re here.” She gestured her pen towards Levi’s leg. “Let’s start with something simple. How are you? How are you feeling today?”

“My knee hurts and I can’t train anymore. But I’m focusing on studies now so I think I’m doing okay.” He answered, having prepared that script in his head the thirty minutes he spent waiting for her.

“I’m not asking how you’re coping. I’m asking how you’re feeling today.” Shela’s piercing eyes were a beautiful shade of blue. The serious look she gave him then bore into him. In fact, it felt like it bore into his soul.

Despite the generally bad first impression she gave him, Levi was somehow convinced that she was qualified to do that type of work and his showing up there might turn out to be worth something after all. Levi found himself almost hypnotized by that look she gave him, a healthy mixture of concern, interest and professionalism.

Hiding and watching his words felt pointless and Levi found himself saying his answers as his brain came up with them.

                                   A Tale of Two Slaves

The hospital where he was slated to have his next sessions was that same hospital he had stayed in a week ago. Conveniently, it was a five minute walk from where he had been staying since he got out of the hospital: Hange’s apartment.

Just until I can walk up stairs. Levi had told himself. There were many dormitories clustered around campus yet he had ended up staying in the least handicap friendly one. The first floor had a lobby and a common room and the actual bedrooms were only found at the second floor and the third floor. To top it all off, there was no elevator. He had to note though that it was an old building with only three floors so it would have been useless to put one.

He was on scholarship and it was assigned to him back in first year so he did not have much of a choice. He didn’t need to think too much of it either that past three years of college since he had never been injured enough to the point of being unable to climb stairs

With his leg completely immobilized and a deadweight, Levi was sure it would be a nightmare to brave that everyday. The paperwork and legwork required to change dormitories in the middle of the semester seemed daunting as well. In the end, Hange had offered to let him stay over in her apartment.

Her condominium was spacious, it had an elevator and it was walking distance from the hospital where he’d have both his counseling and physical therapy sessions.

Walking Distance. For non handicapped people, it should only take five minutes to walk the two block distance from the hospital to the apartment building. Levi took ten minutes to clear it and by the end of it he was exhausted and despite the chill of mid autumn, Levi found himself sweating as he arrived in the apartment.

It was a Friday afternoon, a week after he was released from the hospital. Nobody was pressuring him to go back to school yet. His professors had been kind enough to send him lecture slides and give him extensions. Some classmates had dropped their own summarized notes and get-well messages.

Levi settled on his bed and propped his knee on his pillow, looking through the lecture slides of his last class. Despite his self imposed week long isolation, Levi just wanted to go back to normal life.

But it never will be normal again. Although Levi did see a glimmer of hope in the possibility of feeling normal again when he went back to school, the realist in him knew it wouldn't happen.

Levi was supposed to be in the process of accepting at least that it would never be the “normal” he used to have and had taken for granted. Something inside him was rebelling the process though.

If I can't live the life I want, then I won't live at all. That something screamed inside him.

That form of rebellion left Levi with little energy for anything else. His mind was slower. His body was heavier. He was seeing little reason to move beyond the mechanical and primal movements needed to survive.

As if by magic, his body that used to carry him over two meter tall bars, suddenly felt like it weighed a ton. The weight crushed him everyday. At times Levi found himself unable to breathe. That was he found himself in that same position for sixteen hours a day, either sleeping or staring at the same white ceiling above him.

In fact, the only time he had left the Hange's apartment was for that one counseling session Hange had prodded him to go to. That was the only time she had forced him to go out of the house as if she herself understood somehow the comfort and at the same time the panic that came with a self imposed isolation.

What else was there to do?

He was alone. He had kept to his own bubble in college, only flitting between the two islands of academics and trainings.He was always either busy or exhausted and the lack of in-between had given him little time to reflect on the state of his mental health. And suddenly he had lost one of his islands, the bigger one, the one that had given him meaning the past few years. That had left him completely and utterly lost. Maybe even desolate.

That was what Shela had pointed out in their first counseling session as Levi attempted to articulate the emptiness inside him, the slight panic that came with idleness, the sudden need to turn off all message notifications and the frequent mood changes that came with Hange's entering and exiting the apartment.

And his weird dependence on Hange.

In between studying for his three subjects that semester and icing his bum knee, what else was there to do? Wait for Hange to come home? Talk to her during that one to two hour window when she wasn't working on her thesis? That was what his life had ended up revolving around anyway.

Levi found himself only replying to anything related to studies or graduating. He had received a few messages from others, suggestions to visit training, offers to visit from teammates and he had ignored them all. Somehow, the reminder of the loss of the one hobby that had kept him busy for the past decade of his life, was mocking. He became someone who waits, someone who just went with the flow of everyone's schedule. Having been busy his whole life, having been constantly needed and looked for and only recently, having been reduced to where he was, Levi felt his life was just a series of wrong choices, wrong choices that only formed a distrust with himself and consequently a refusal to engage in activity.

What else am I supposed to be doing? Levi opened his laptop. For a moment he had tried to go through his school notes at Shela’s advice.

After less than an hour of halfheartedly reviewing his notes and forgetting it soon after, Levi had exhausted his already scarce energy. With nothing else to do, he had decided to move to scrolling through timelines which displayed little to no signs of real life obligations, pinterest and reddit to pass the time. Within an hour of just scrolling through both, he had gotten tired of it too. It was a new feeling. Usually he could drown himself in hours of social media and timelines but at that point, nothing was interesting to him anymore.

Have you tried writing out how you feel? Shela’s suggestion echoed in his head. Like maybe get a journal. It’s a great way to process your thoughts and emotions.

What’s there to write. Levi asked himself and Shela’s voice as it echoed in his head. Levi could only stare at the blank screen, his emotions too non-existent to write. The blank document he had opened in front of him was the best representation of his thoughts and emotions already.

There are no right or wrong answers. Shela had brought up another good point during their session.

You think, therefore you are. You feel therefore you are. As long as you’re processing images, sounds and sensations, you’re thinking. You’re feeling something and you can write something down.

Then why do I feel so empty? Levi had asked.

Shela had compared it to a false bottom. As he continued to stare at the blank page in front of him, Levi was starting to feel for that false bottom in his mind. It was a matter of discipline more than anything, determination to dig into one’s self.

It could have taken hours but as Levi looked at the time on his laptop, he realized much time hadn’t passed. In fact, the time to the lower right of his screen, was still the same. But Levi was starting to think differently.

He did have something to look back on. Stories he hadn’t thought back to in a while, having been occupied by training, Hange’s tests, studies and recoveries. They continued to taunt him in the mornings. With the magic of worldly obligations, Levi had managed to set them aside.

His motivations particularly lay in the fact that his world was a little bigger, he was talking to more people and the idea that these same people he was seeing were the same ones he’d been writing fictional stories for had him questioning his own sanity and had him a little self conscious about having those dreams in the first place.

At that moment though, his inability to think and feel beyond that false bottom had Levi more alarmed and he found himself attempting to articulate those dreams on the word processor just to experience a semblance of something.

Levi at least confirmed one thing, that bottom was false. And the more he articulated those dreams, the more they became real. He was starting to scrape on that false bottom and the first things that were oozing out were dreams. Somehow, the dreams were more vivid that he had ever remembered them to be. He felt almost guilty for having set them aside like some sort of fair weathered friend.

“Hey not bad! Is that homework?”

Levi tensed up in surprise. He should have been able to hear the familiar footsteps and the jangle of the keys from his place on the sofa bed. He never missed it once. Levi didn’t know if he should be proud that he had distracted himself enough not to consider Hange or terrified that she was right behind him at that moment, probably reading through his work.

He quickly closed his tab and looked at the time on the lower right. It was only five. Hange usually went home at seven.

“You’re early,” Levi commented.

“It’s my apartment. I can choose when to go home.” Hange answered. “Anyway what was that? Are you writing?”

“A journal,” Levi explained. There was not much point in lying.

“Did the counselor tell you to do that?”

“Yeah. Something about processing emotions and thoughts.”

“It’s a good exercise. Especially since you seemed pretty out of it recently...” Hange trailed off.

Levi looked back at her and noticed a flicker of what looked like guilt in Hange’s eyes before she looked away.

“Out of it?” Levi knew what she was talking about. He just felt the need to keep the conversation going.

“You spent the past weekend just lying in bed. I never even saw you look through your phone or open your laptop. ” Hange explained. “I’ve seen how these types of things develop so... So yeah, I’m just so happy to see you so focused on something else.”

“I don’t really have much else to get into other than school.”

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Hange said.

Levi bit his lip, instantly regretting that last sentence. Hange averaged two apologies a day which was a lot given the fact that they only ever had a two hour window to talk in between Levi’s long hours asleep and Hange’s long hours on campus.

“It wasn’t your fault. I was kinda going crazy too...With the jumping I mean.” He added. “And I was the one who decided to make that last jump in the first place. And now you have to change your whole thesis topic.”

“It wasn’t too difficult. Just one week building a new proposal. It’s still the same case study, it’s just I decided to document a recovery. Erwin’s unconventional methods with the recovery makes it worth documenting.”

“At least I’m still useful somewhere,” Levi commented wryly. Hange had explained the thesis to him over the weekend. He should have been relieved at least to know that they weren’t separating anytime soon. Surprisingly though, he wasn’t even happy to hear it. Everything around him just seemed too bleak to celebrate anything. Good news that used to make him smile and celebrate internally suddenly only made him feel a slight sense of relief, the equivalent emotion of seeing a wet floor sign in an area with slippery floors.

Hange sat on the sofa bed next to Levi and looked towards him. She took a deep breath. “I know with what’s been happening, it looks like you don’t have much going for you. And I know things seem pretty dark now but things will get better. You just have to keep living.”

“I’m still breathing.”

“You know what I mean,” Hange said. “When I get up in the morning you’re asleep. When I get back we talk for an hour and half the time it’s just me talking. You barely even answer when I ask what you want. This past weekend I didn’t even see you look through your phone. It’s like you’re practically dead.”

“What else is there to do. I can’t show up for training. My professors aren’t asking me to go back to school soon.”

“Find a new hobby? Continue whatever thing you’re writing. Enjoy the food I bring home. Laugh when you see a funny meme. Or you know, at least smile and do that nose blowing thing people do when you show them a funny meme..”

“My teammates are preparing for the new season. My classmates are at least all caught up in class. I spent too much damn time on that fucking sport. Now that it’s all gone, I feel like I’m just going with the flow of life instead of actually swimming,” Levi said, having taken that last part from Shela’s book.

“Everyone is just going with the flow of life. We’re all at the mercy of time anyway. Live for yourself. See joy in the small things at least. Look at me, I’m simping for athletes like some idiot in between studies.”

“Live for yourself? You follow people’s orders a lot for someone who gives this type of advice.”

“It’s not obeying people. I’m just asking questions and seeking advice. The more relevant facts, information and experience you have, the better the decisions you can make right. So can’t I argue that having more information at my fingertips makes me freer? ” Hange gave Levi a knowing and playful smile

He could tell by the look she gave him that she expected something in return. It was a rhetorical question though, maybe even a premature victory lap for having won that argument. Levi silently looked back at his laptop, not wanting to let her win.

Hange broke the silence. “Okay now that we’re on the topic of asking questions... who’s that Squad Leader Hange Zoe you’re writing about?”

                                A Tale of Two Slaves

Levi could not pinpoint the exact moment he decided for certain that squad leader Hange Zoe was real, when he decided for himself that the stories he was writing out should have been real.

It came as a gradual decision after incessant questions from Hange that at first, he was determined not to answer. Hange was smart about it, keeping the questions as things that could be answered with one word, and before he knew it, he was giving her too much information, it was pointless to blatantly refuse. After he had answered her more than enough questions, she smiled.

“Looks like you got my personality down,” Hange commented. Levi somehow knew her enough to tell there was no judgement or obligation in that voice. In fact, when he looked into her eyes, he saw that same wonder, he had seen many times before when she witnessed the jumps.

That wonder only carried over from questions on the squad leader to questions on his dreams and finally, to questions on how he wrote his dreams out.

“How do you see the world?”

“How do I see the world?”

“Like what type of camera angles do you see the world in. If I asked you to imagine a tree, what kind of tree do you imagine? Do you imagine it from top to bottom, from trunk to top? Our minds are the most creative producers and cameramen you can think of.”

“Do you notice how well our body blends sensations? When the light turns off then on, there’s a split second where you see shapes when your eyes adjust from light to dark?”

“What are the physical manifestations of emotions? Do you feel your stomach drop? Do you ever get that tingling feeling in your legs and suddenly they’re jelly?”

Did you ever witness something so beautiful that you wish you could live forever just so you could never forget it?

The conversation was a little deep and a little too philosophical for him. It was a ploy to get him writing and maybe a ploy to get him to understand the same wonder she had in the world from what he could tell. Somehow he needed it. The way Hange had described the world, the way she had described reality, only made the line between what could have been his imagination and his memory a little more distinct.

It was around then did he look at Hange Zoe the medical student to see the squad leader from his dreams. Erwin Smith, Hange Zoe and every single one of the soldiers in these dreams. They weren’t just dreams or manifestations of an exhausted mind.

In another life, she could have been real. The angles at which he saw the world, the way his body processed those sensations in his dreams, the manifestations of those emotions, too vivid even more vivid than a catharsis from a good book or a phenomenal ending to a TV show.

The questions continued to echo as Hange turned off the lights and Levi lay in bed awake. That food for the thought left Levi hyper aware of his surroundings, all the way down to the small details --- the way every piece of thread on the bed covers beneath him pressed on to him, the way his breath made a sound in the utter silence late at night no matter how much he tried to quiet it, the way the palpitations in his chest could be felt all the way until his head. He was excited to sleep, dream and take stock of his dreams yet he was too excited to fall asleep.

Like a five year old the night before their first field trip, Levi did not fall asleep anytime soon.

                                        A Tale of Two Slaves

Nobody really questions the logic of dreams.

Sometimes one can find themselves only a few millimeters tall on top of a giant donut. Sometimes they can find themselves having milk tea with their favorite celebrity. Dreams are more felt by the moments they bring to people, not by the logic. It was only natural Levi did not question much of his dreams then.

That night as he lay awake, Levi made the conscious effort to live in his dreams, to take note of every detail from the sights and sounds, to the smells, the emotions, repeating to himself the questions Hange had asked earlier that day. What he had failed to consider then, was the context of dreams.

Were Hange and the others okay?

He found himself on the battlefield and he knew exactly what had to be done. In front of him was a large furry creature which the military had dubbed the Beast Titan and around him were other naked humanoid creatures called titans.

The Beast titan was flinging rocks at them and the soldiers were dying at an alarming rate.

Commander Erwin Smith ordered a suicide mission. All surviving soldiers were to rush towards the Beast Titan while Levi flew from the side of the walls and snuck towards him.

He knew what to do. The movements were natural and Levi had flown before, the gear on his waist had only made the whole mission easier. Somehow, on the battlefield he had the luxury of stock knowledge.

That stock knowledge was what had him slicing through the arms, through the eyes, through the achilles and finally through the nape of said titan. He pulled out a blonde man and pushed the sword through the man’s mouth.

He could feel his blood boiling. From anger? Of course, the man had killed Erwin. For a second, Levi had managed to get a view of the blond commander as he flew from the wall slashing titan after titan. He knew the man was probably dead.

But there was a way to revive him. There was a serum.

Before Levi could give it a second thought, a duck billed monster tore into his view and---

Levi sat up and screamed. He found himself in no hurry to dodge that duck billed titan. He was in Hange's apartment, too injured to be flying in the air in those contraptions anyway. He ran his hands through his body and up to his face, taking stock of his reality. He didn't reek of titan blood nor was he covered in it. He scanned the dark room, or at least what was visible given the moon was his only light source.

Somehow, those few moments as captain Levi had felt so real, watching the moon from his place on the sofa bed seemed almost dreamlike.

Which one is my reality? Levi found himself questioning it all. As quickly as the questions came, they were answered. All he needed was one stimuli, strong enough to root him back into his reality.

"Hey, bad dream?"

The dark room and his own state of mind had made it difficult for him to notice that Hange had settled beside him. That voice though had pulled him out of his trance and he became certain at least that he was not dreaming anymore.

"Yeah," Levi managed to say. At the least he still had control of his voice.

Hange sat cross-legged next to him. The moon was at a perfect angle to illuminate her face and even in the dark room he could see it. Her eyes were looking right at him as if she were studying him a little too seriously.

She brought out one finger to his eye and pushed at the corner. That was when Levi felt it. The small tear spread on the corner of his eye and dried up within seconds. Levi only hastened the process by wiping it himself.

"I'm not leaving you tonight."

"Why?"

"I'll take full responsibility for this. It was my mistake that got you into this in the first place.”

"I've had them before. This is nothing new.” Levi argued. As Hange lay on the sofa bed next to him though, he realized he didn’t want her to leave. His body froze as if understanding that emotion, unwilling to accommodate the protests, the impulse inside him to argue, to force her to go back to her room.

The sofa bed was at least big enough for both of them, wide enough for a comfortable one to two feet space between them. Hange had made sure as well to lie on her side, only widening that space a little more.

“I don’t know how many times I’ve told you this but I swear I really do mean it every time. I’m sorry.” Her voice cracked as she said it.

Levi only continued to stare at the ceiling above him, listening to her disturbed and hitched breaths next to him as if she was holding back something. He didn’t want to look to his side, not wanting to further aggravate a reaction he sensed was raring to come out of her or to further tighten that knot which had settled itself on his chest. His dim surroundings only illuminated weakly by the moon, did not help at all.

Levi lay awake for a while longer, scrambling for words that could placate her.

This is nothing new. It hadn’t worked.

I’m fine. But he wasn’t.

Things happen. Had he not given that same consolation so many times before?

Eventually the rhythm of her breathing evened out enough for Levi to guess that she had fallen asleep, and as if by some special force, Levi found his breathing slowing down too. He was starting to relax.

The apartment was dark and quiet. It was peaceful, so peaceful that Levi never did notice when exactly he was pulled back into his dream. The dimness of the apartment was gradually replaced by the dimness of the forest a long time ago. The distant sounds of passing cars gradually replaced by the crackle of a fire and the rustle of leaves on a windy night.

He was surrounded by trees. A broken wooden cart lay to the side and a few feet away from it a campfire.

The soft and even breathing next to him stayed though. The same exact pattern, the same exact rhythm, the same hitched breaths--- all signs of the light uneasy slumber of his companion.

That was all Levi needed to hear to have sworn nothing much changed about her.

[jyunshiim]

𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬; 𝙨𝙤 𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙩 *✬★*’☽* ✬ ⤷𝘒𝘪𝘩𝘺𝘶𝘯 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘶

Genre → romance | angst | friends to acquaintances | friends to lovers | college!au |

Contains → fluff | angst | Kihyun x reader ft Changkyun

Listen to →  Compass

Word count → 4207 words

TW → –

Chapters → | Chapter 2 | 

Summary: Best friends since childhood, you and Kihyun had always been by each other’s side before things began to turn in a different direction on Prom night. From then, things changed when you both transferred to college/university. Bonds collapse, deception and fear; what will the future hold?

[ 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏 ]

９ ｙｅａｒｓ ａｇｏ． ． ．

You remembered your mother’s fingers tap against her arm as she leaned upon the ivory door frame of your best friends’ bedroom. “can I please stay a little longer, Kihyun and I haven’t even finished building the house yet,” you pleaded to your mother who had a smile painted across her face despite being tired from her job and taking care of you. “We have to go now, who will feed Kiwi?” She pretends to be concerned knowing it’ll lure you back home. “no, no I will feed Kiwi,” you immediately stand up and leave the little lego pieces on the floor. “I have to go and feed my cat now,” you from at a tiny Kihyun who sat distraught at the fact you were leaving him. The sky darkened and the nocturnal animals were ought to come out around now. “wave goodbye,” your mother nudges you gently and so you do, with a wide smile and your eyes full of hope.  

You and Kihyun met in daycare and ever since you became best friends. You did everything together and it went on into your senior years of school.

Moving on to further education, you and Kihyun attended the same schools including high school. High school was full of surprises and also many arguments too; friendships aren’t all as smooth as it seems. Kihyun waited at your locker after every lesson you had so you could both sit together with your other friends. Kihyun’s  5’7 slender physique leaned against the cool steel of the locker, his phone sitting in the curve of his hand, scrolling through what seems to be his text messages. He texted you around 3 minutes ago and huffed impatiently – he wasn’t the most patient person in the world - wondering where you were since your class finished exactly 3 minutes ago. The hallways were congested to the point where pushing pass was necessary. The scattered ‘excuse me’s and ‘sorry can I get past please’ were ever so repetitive but it got you through your high school experience up until now. You see Kihyun at your locker, his head resting against the steel.

“what took you so long?” his voice was fruity and oddly comforting to listen to. “my teacher wouldn’t shut up about our late assignments and was setting us more, I had no control over that,” you respond instantaneously as his arm draped around your shoulders. “right, I’ll give that to you,” he tuts and rolls his eyes playfully.

The pair of you ambled through the hallways towards the cafeteria and set your belongings down onto the round table and onto the chairs beside you to reserve them for your other friends since they were coming from the other side of the school. “Jooheon and Changkyun take so long to get here, I’m going to get food, do you want anything?” he asks you waiting to respond. “oh umm- yeah maybe like a sandwich or something?” you suggest. “That’s not enough, I’m buying you a meal,” he informed politely. – of course he’ll buy you a meal –

Jooheon and Changkyun finally make their way to the table where you sat, keeping it occupied so no one else sat there. “Yo where did Kihyun go?” Jooheon asks as he gets out a Kimbap roll from his bag and rips open the packet. You point at the queue where Kihyun was and notice a girl being pushed closer to him by her friends. “There they go again,” Changkyun sighs, “Let me go and help him.” Changkyun always knew these girls will throw themselves at whatever guy they would want to get their attention from and Kihyun hated it.

“o-oh sorry, I’ll keep moving forward,” He apologises to the girls knowing what they were doing. “It’s okay Kihyunnie,” the girl purred; Kihyun could swear he just threw up in his mouth. He ignored her until Changkyun came to save the day. “Kihyun how you doing?” his American accent ringing through the cafeteria. “Ah yes, the English card,” Jooheon nods whilst munching his roll. “Oh is this for me? Thanks, I’ll pay,” Changkyun says as he swipes his card and takes both trays with him and places it on the table. The girls look shaken behind them but in return Changkyun flashes a smug smile before seating himself next to you. “I hate them, they think they can do anything to get what they want,” Changkyun sighs, “you bought bought her lunch again but not for me, how sad,” He tuts, “ you need to pay me back since I paid for it actually so next ones on you alright?” he jokes with Kihyun before sliding the tray in front of you. “Thank you but you didn’t have to,” you pick up the cutlery that was on the tray. The girls walk past, their face painted with disgust whispering something to one another. Was it about you? The 4 of you sat together and talked about your lessons and gossiped about your teachers and also talked about that group of girls who have become an infection to your school. Luckily it was very soon until the end of the entire high school experience since prom was in a few months.

After you lunch break you didn’t have any classes left so you were contemplating whether to go home or stay to study. “Hey Kihyun, are you going to go home or stay to study?” you ask him, your honeyed tone captivating his attention. “Probably, I have a test to study for, do you want to go to the library or to some café?” he asks you. You think for a moment. It’d be more logical to stay at school and study in the library; “the library, I don’t think I can focus at a café,” You grab your books and notes from you locker and make your way to the library and find a table to sit at with Kihyun. The library was slightly fuller than usual, the tables had spaces for 4-6 people but it was only you and Kihyun sitting behind a shelf of books. You set your books and notebooks out for your Business class and open your text book which has an assortment of coloured sticky notes which were highlighted and extremely condensed down. “how?” Kihyun stares in awe at your study notes. “what? My notes?” you point at them “they’re really helpful, that extra effort its worth it” you smile softly at him. “yeah I know but how do you do it, I don’t even know where to start from.” Kihyun sighs. You delve into your bag again and grasp a hold of your transparent stationary holder which was filled with sticky notes, pens and bookmark sticky tabs. You pull your seat closer to Kihyun’s and move your hair behind your ear to help him and teach him how to take notes. You open his law textbook  and ask him what he needs to learn or understand so you knew where to start. “easy right?” you smile as you pass him some notes and memo sheets and he nodded his head, making himself believe that he new what he was doing. You turned back around to look at you textbooks, your eyes scanning the text book although Kihyun’s eyes often glanced away from the paper and pen and was captured by how focused you were, how you would unconsciously tuck your hair behind your ear, how your eyes scan the text you were reading and then articulate it into something concise yet informative. He needed a quick break to grab some water but you didn’t notice that he left since you were focused on studying. He placed a plastic cup on your desk and tapped your shoulder. “make sure you drink? Water is good for your brain” Kihyun smiles at you before sitting back down. “o-oh thank you!” you take the cup and drink the water, “I was going to have a short break anyway to get some water, how’s your notes going?” you ask him looking over to see a few notes here and there but he tried to cover it. “u-uh it’s, going okay.” You stand up to see the other side of him, he was doing quite well and learning how to take notes like you. “see you are doing good, isn’t it so much easier?” you ask him. He nods and hums his response. “don’t worry you’ll get the hang of it,” you nudge him softly.

An hour and a half passes and it was time to go home. You gather all your belongings organising them and putting them back into your bag, reaching for your jacket to which you find isn’t there to your surprise. “o-oh,” you sounded confused “ did I bring my jacket with me?” you ask Kihyun who had already shoved his textbook into his bag. “Oh um, You didn’t bring it with you from the cafeteria you might’ve left it there,” he shrugs “ we can go and look for it now?” He suggests and you agree with him, opening the doors to the library to leave. The school was oddly quiet. Probably because everyone leaves incredibly quickly but you and Kihyun make your way to the cafeteria and nothing was there. “ugh,” you grunt sounding annoyed “ whatever, I’ll look tomorrow and lost and found,” you drag yourself out of the cafeteria and head towards the exit.

“hey dumpling,” Changkyun calls out to get your attention. “stop calling me dumpling, It’s not cute or endearing,” you sigh “why are you still here?” you ask. “seems like someone lost their jacket,” he holds it in his hand, “ you have to get it though,” his smug smile appears gradually. You sigh and try to grab however he pulls It away from you and decides to mess with you and hold It above his head. “awh look at you, you can’t even reach it, that’s so cute” he chuckles. “just give it back, I want to go home” you whine before giving up, “I’ll walk home COLD then.” You turn around and walk knowing he’ll give it back; “okay okay hey, HEY, take it,” he says as he drapes it over your shoulder and Kihyun follows hands in his pockets. Walks home with Kihyun and Changkyun started to become the norm since the start of high school until now. You knew that once you move, everything will change and it haunted you so you enjoyed the moment whilst it lasted.

You arrived at your house and you wave your friends goodbye. “when will your mum make that soup again?” Changkyun asks. “I’m not too sure, I can ask her to make it on Friday?” You suggest. They both look at each other and nod their heads in unison.

It was late in the evening and you open your laptop; 9:45pm. You sigh. It’s been exhausting but you spent all evening tidying, cleaning and also resting after your meal. You lean back into your desk chair, the squeak startling your puppy Lucas. He hid under your bed from the sound then soon after leaving the dark abyss under your bed with a squeaky red ball. You open a word document that had over 9 thousand words for a project that you were doing for your business class. You’d study all night for your classes, some nights on call to Kihyun or another one of your friends, Irene. Tonight, you felt like being alone for some reason, perhaps because your best friend was a distraction?  - I’m probably a distraction too – you think to yourself. You look at your computer and think to play something just to get your mind off school for once. You had a selection of things to do for your classes but a slight break from school wouldn’t hurt. The bright screen of your PC lit up your dimly lit room, your window open to let in the winters breeze as well as the moon beaning outside of your window tonight. You grab your headphones and plug them into the headphone jack and you see Changkyun playing the game you wanted to play.

“Yo look at who’s on,” he says in his annoying mocking tone. “you’ve seen me play before, don’t act so surprised,” you scoff, “is Kihyun playing today?” you ask Changkyun. “I don’t think so, he said he had some notes to finish and study, what a loser,” Changkyun laughs “ I mean, he lives up to that name doesn’t he,” making you laugh a little. Changkyun had always been there for you and for Kihyun, making you and Kihyun always make up by doing the most absurd things he could think of. He comforted you as well as Kihyun.

Whilst you wait in the lobby, your phone screen lights up blue with a notification from Kihyun. It was a text message.

“hey my wifi died but I was going to message you to ask what you are doing?” Kihyun texted you. You responded back almost immediately; “ I’m online playing with Changkyun hbu?” you ask. The response was delayed by a couple minutes. “I’m studying atm, if only if could go online I’d play with you” he responds with a sad faced emoticon. “I wish you could too, maybe have an early night and rest, I’ll go in a bit too,” You message him. “I’ll go whenever you do,” – that’s new, he never used to wait for you– “I mean the rounds are really long but we can call if you want,” you tap at your screen. “ it’s okay, just message me okay,”

You start a round with Changkyun, immersing yourself into the game and occasionally yelling when he’d kill you or when he’d win. “hey! That’s not fair I was drinking!” you squeal when he sneaks around the corner and gets his final kill. “no! how?” you growl. “I have never heard you grown on voice chat,” Chankgyun burts into laughter “it’s cute don’t worry, it’s like a little tiger cub.” You hand reaches for your phone to text Kihyun; it had been at least 30 minutes since you last messaged him. “hey Yoo, you still awake?” you press the blue send button and wait for the response. You kept your phone unlocked and settled it onto your desk beside your pink bunny plushie Kihyun got for your birthday which was placed next to a framed photo of you both. You glanced at your phone every second but he hadn’t opened it or read the message, perhaps he fell asleep waiting for you? “Oi why are you so quiet? Did anything happen?” Changkyun noticed the drastic change in your behaviour. “oh it’s nothing I was just waiting for Kihyun to reply but I think he fell asleep.” You lock your phone after sending him a goodnight. “yeah probably, he doesn’t study for this long so many he just fell asleep and it is 1am-” he reminds you. “1am! Shit I need to go to bed,” you scurry around and put your things away, “I’ll play with you tomorrow or something whenever Kihyun is free, I’ll be going to bed now Goodnight!” you frantically leave the game and wash up and get ready for bed. You lean against your oak headboard, your phone between your hands and scroll through your Instagram. The girls who tried to shoot their shot posted and you felt a pit fall in your stomach making your mouth go bitter.– Why do they think they’re so entitled?– you scoff before locking your phone and setting it onto the wireless charging pad you got from Irene. You lay in your bed letting the cool air in your room circulating settle onto your skin making the little hairs on your arms raise. You close your eyes, your eyelids were heavy, and sunk into your mattress letting the cotton sheets intertwine with your body the warmth sheathing your body. You let out one last sigh before drifting off into a sound slumber.

6:30 am. You twist and turn until you turn your alarm off dragging yourself to your bathroom from your bedroom and push the tap up letting the water run until it went warm. You tiredly reached out for your toothbrush and toothpaste, squeezing the white paste from the tube then setting it down on the sink. Lucas whimpers at your feet wanting you to open the garden door for him so whilst you brushed your teeth you opened the garden door for him and continued your morning. You got dressed as usual and went to the kitchen to see what was for breakfast. It was an omelette roll and some sautéed vegetables. You quickly ate your breakfast with a cup of coffee and looked at your phone. “Good morning, sorry for not replying last night but studying is so exhausting! Are you taking the bus today?” Kihyun messages you. “yeah I am,” you reply sipping the bitter, lukewarm liquid from your cup before pouring it down the sink, “is it near my house?” you furiously type before bolting to your room to grab your bag, Airpods and your jacket. Before you were about to dash through the door, you remembered your lunch. “ugh whatever, I’ll just buy lunch,” you say to yourself before running to the bus stop.  You got there on time and go onto the bus; you search for Kihyun and there he was at the back, his bag reserving a seat for you before the girl from the day before spotted it thinking it was for her. – How humiliating– you slowly walk towards him.

“hey,” she flutters her lashes forcing her cutesy tone, “can I sit here?” she asks. Kihyun locks eyes with you and gulps, “oh um well- AH you are here!” he looks at you as you walk towards the two. You could see her eyes fill with fury and her blood could be heard boiling within her. “hey, did you save the seat for me?” you decided to pull her leg a little. She scoffs and turns around to realise that there are no seats, and she has to stand so she walked away and held onto the rings to keep her stable. “She won’t leave me alone,” Kihyun whispers to you, “what do I do?” you let out a soft laugh. “Don’t you know you get encounters like this because you’re single and prom is soon?” you shake your head “how naïve” you nudge him. “oh yeah true, you have a point.” He looks down at his phone scrolling through his feed and you glance over at him. “so, Kihyun, do you like anyone?” you hum leaning into him, trying to see his face, being playful like you usually are. “I-I don’t think I do,” he nods, “why are you asking?” his voice sounded apathetic when he replied. “did I say anything wrong? You sound really… off?” your playfulness disintegrated, and you were confused at his rapid change in emotion. “no you didn’t, I-I just didn’t have coffee this morning, I’m still a bit tired,” he clears his throat and looks outside, “Don’t worry about it, I didn’t mean to upset you.” He hands you a little chocolate truffle wrapped in gold.

The bus stopped at your school and you both got off however the girl shoved past you causing you to drop the wrapped chocolate on the floor which she then stepped on looking back to make sure you were looking. The evil in her eyes burned bright. Kihyun didn’t see what just happened since Changkyun ran up to him and began talking. You stand still for a second as people push past you, why was she so against you? –what did I do?– “Hey sleep well last night?” Changkyun asks you, his joyful voice added to his charismatic personality. “it was great, I had a nightmare that you broke into my house to get your final kill,” you laugh softly, “that wasn’t a good dream…” you roll your eyes. “wow, Kihyun do you hear this? She dreams of me,” Changkyun provokes you to react defensively, joking around with you. “You’re making it sound so wrong,” you yell. “you finish early right? Do you want to go for lunch together?” Kihyun’s honeyed voice asks you. “Of course, if you’re paying,” you smile endearingly. “Okay, I’ll pay” his arm wraps around your  shoulder before Changkyun decides to open his mouth again. “why don’t you just hold hands?” he jokes again “ you both look like a couple anyway,” He bites at his coffee straw. “No we don’t!” You laugh but only 2 of the three of you laughed at the harmless joke. “awh no, I have class,” Changkyun, “it’s fine you both can go we can hang out another day.”

Time was inching closer to your lunch break. It was nearly time to leave, just a couple more minutes. You eyed the time like you life depended on it, you were itching to leave the dingy classroom – I can’t wait to go to university– the ringing of the bell saves you from you thoughts eating you from inside. You dash out the door, or so you thought you would however Kihyun stood there waiting for you with your jacket he got from your locker. “Let’s go,” he smiles before putting his hand on your back and guiding you towards the exit. “damn you were quick,” you prodded his arm. “ well, you can always count on me, we’re like each others-“ he thinks for a moment, “we’re like each others Compass.” Kihyun’s words always sounded poetic one way or the other. He really knew how to sway you with his words, probably from all those years he made you feel comfortable and content whenever you had a hard time. “There’s this restaurant place down the road if you wanna go?” he points down the road. “oooh yeah sure, let’s go!” your ecstatic energy surprising Kihyun as you cling to his arm. He hesitated but the corner of his mouth curled into a smile and his hands rested in his pockets to seem as if he were chilled out in this situation when in fact he was yelling inside, at the top of his lungs.

The interior of the restaurant was simple yet pretty to look at. It was Bohemian inspired; the stained wooden chairs and tables and the white curtain like bunting on the plants above the ceiling. It also has an element of a rustic style too. You and Kihyun walked in and were seated; you look at the menu and your eyes scan down the laminated card. You point out a soup that you want and a drink too, “ these look really good!” you smile at him as he tries to keep himself at bay. “mmh yeah it does, I’ll get the same as you then!” He calls the waitress and orders what you wanted.  Lunched passed my sooner than you’d expected but you both get out your cards to pay.

“what are you doing?” Kihyun sounded perplexed to say the least. “paying for my lunch, what else Kihyun?” He pauses at you, eyeing you up and down then whisking the card away from you. “Not today, my treat okay?” he goes to a waitress as you wait at the table. He left his bracelet on the table so you swiped it into your bag to give to him later. When Kihyun turns around, it was like the gates of Heaven opened up; there was a luminescent glow outlining his angelic features, features that were carefully sculpted by groups of angels. He was just perfect. Whilst he leads you out, you both walk to the bus stop before he pauses and begins to speak. “you know you asked me if I like anyone,” he starts off getting your hopes up thinking he’ll tell you something that’d make your heart happy, “well, do you like anyone?” his head tilts like a little puppy would when they’re confused. “hmm..” you think, unconsciously smiling to yourself, “maybe maybe not Kihyun,” you shrug giggling at his ‘O’ shaped mouth. “You are unbelievable, did you know that,” he tuts, “whatever don’t tell me, the bus is here anyway.” The bus stops and he gets on scanning his pass and you follow and do the same. There were no seats so you both had to stand; he stood behind you and held the rings above and you held onto the railings. The bus jolted and you lost your balance slightly although managing to get a hold of yourself but at the next stop, a group entered the  vehicle and it was cramped. There was a middle aged man toppling onto you and as the bus jolted again he nearly crushed your petite frame until Kihyun shielded you. You looked at him. What an angel.

“Hey, Kihyun…” you whisper and he lowers down slightly to hear what you have to say with a cheerful bright smile on his face that beamed like a sun on a summers day, “you wanna know who I like right?” you giggle into his ears. His ears burned a pinkish-red; “I really really like Changkyun.”

––

➠ Chapter 2

[soulsilverlining]

"Emery, we're going to be late!"

"There's still more than an hour left."

"I mean, we'll be later than everyone else. Do you want to get a good pick or not?"

"Jade, you do realize we still have to take the test before we get our licenses, right?"

Her childhood friend groaned in agony, sinking down to the sofa cushions. 

"Like I need you to remind me."

"I'm almost done with this chapter."

"Why do you like those boring books so much, anyway?"

"Excuse you. Robin Hood is anything but boring."

"I meant books in general."

"Because I have an imagination...?"

"Uuuuugh..."

"Kids, your lunches are ready!"

"You're the light of my life, Mom," Emery smiled, closing her book and tugging at the pastel blue bookmark she had placed before jumping up from her chair and jogging to the kitchen. 

"I know, I try," her mother said, handing each of the teens a plastic lunch box. "Do your best. Third time's the charm. I believe in you!"

"Y'know," Jade sighed, "if we lived in a town with some eccentric old guy who liked to give Pokémon to kids for arbitrary reasons, we wouldn't even have to go through with this."

"You watch too much TV," Emery's mom laughed, planting kisses on the girls' foreheads before they ran outside. "Now go. You've got this."

*****

"We HAD this! That test was a piece of cake. I knew it all along! Ohh Emery, you looked so worried, but I could've told you. We always had this in the bag. Just the other day, Sakura was talking about how hard it was gonna be, but I just told her, 'Honey, trust me, we are all kicking that test's-'"

"Oh look, they're posting the results," Emery announced, pointing toward the wall of Fortree Gym. Jade immediately dropped onto her knees, demeanor changed, fingers laced together, wailing. 

"PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET ME PASS! I don't ask for much in this sick, twisted world, you can at least do this for me!"

"Get up," Emery groaned, grabbing her by the arms and yanking her up to her feet. "Where is your dignity, woman?"

"The same place as my college fund," the green-haired girl said, shoving her friend aside and running toward the scrolls hanging on the wall. Emery stared after her, hesitating a moment before making her way as well.

"What does that even mean?!"

"Ji, Ji, Ji, Ji, Ji*... There I am! I made it! I'M AN OFFICIAL TRAINER!"

"What am I going to do with you..."

Emery, Jade, and the rest of the crowd whose names had appeared on the scrolls were led through a long corridor which fed into a wide-open indoor park complete with trees, a small pond, and miniature mountains. Many small Pokémon roamed around freely, though several of them paused to stare at the procession. 

One by one, names were called, and Pokémon Trainer's Licenses and Trainer Cards were handed out by the Gym Leader. Each person was then guided around the park by a Gym Trainer to find their very first Pokémon. Jade was called near the front of the list, and Emery waited patiently.

"Violet, Emery." 

Beaming, she made her way to the front as calmly as she could manage, and accepted her long-awaited prizes.

"Congratulations," Winona said, patting the teen on the back. "Welcome to the Young Trainers Program."

"Th-Thanks," Emery stammered, nodding vigorously, feeling incredibly awkward before she finally remembered to step away. A man in a green uniform approached with a pen and clipboard. 

"Hi there, I'm Flint. I'll be your guide through the park while you choose your starter Pokémon. Here you go." He tossed her a single Poké Ball and gestured for her to follow. "This way."

"How much food do you guys go through each day?"

"Oh, at least twenty pounds."

"Wow. Does anybody ever get loose?"

“Once or twice. I know I’m always waiting for my turn to get out of here.”

He led her to a pond where the Mudkip all liked to hang out. None of them seemed to swim too deep, mostly rolling around in the mud or splashing in the shallows. The Torchic for the most part spent their time running around the miniature mountain, comparing the size of the tiny fireballs they spat from their beaks. Finally, he led her to the small forest, where many Treecko hopped nimbly from tree to tree.

"See any you like?" Flint asked. 

"It's hard to choose," she shrugged, wandering through the woods. "Oh, hello, what's this?"

A lone Torchic wandered through the forest, glancing this way and that. She didn't seem to have any friends. Emery sat down and called to her, and the small bird stared into her eyes, seemingly mesmerized, before jumping excitedly up and down. The Torchic eventually ran to her, falling on the way and inadvertently headbutting her on the knee. 

"Rambunctious little one," Emery laughed. "What are you doing here all alone?" In answer to this, the Torchic nuzzled against her hand, and she found tears clouding her eyes. "Aww... This is the best feeling in the world. They like me, they really like me. And so soft, too!"

"Oh, honey, you don't want that one, it's a half-YEOW!" He had a fist dug into the back of his head, courtesy of a man wearing a red vest. 

"There you go again, showing your rear end like the Zigzagoon you are."

"Oww... Give me a break, Eiji."

"That's a fine Torchic," the one called Eiji said to Emery, ignoring his coworker for the time being. "She's a bit of an oddball. Most of the Torchic stick to the little mountain because there's a heat lamp embedded inside. But this one likes wandering around the forest. We've tried watching her to find out what she's looking for, but no luck. Since she seems to like you, what do you say? Care to give her a new home?"

"So, you're an oddball, huh?" Emery asked the Torchic, gently scratching the feathers under her chin. "Just like me. I've always been the black sheep. Hey, I'm going on an adventure. I don't know what all's in store, but I know I'll travel to lots of far-off places, and have lots of fun times, and some hard times, and get to experience things I never got the chance to. I can't promise you'll love having me as a partner, but... Somewhere down that road, maybe we'll both find what we're looking for. Want to come along?"

The Torchic let out excited cheeps, running around a few trees before circling back to the human, nuzzling up against her hand again. Emery gently pressed the ball against the chick's forehead, and she was absorbed into it. She clicked the center button and threw the ball, and out came the Torchic, shaking her head as if she had just come out of water running back for more nuzzles.

"What'll you name her?" Flint asked, clicking his pen and setting it against the clipboard. Emery smiled. 

"Sherwood."

__________________________________________________

* Hoenn is in Japan. Don’t think about it too much, it’ll only make things worse. 

__________________________________________________

So, how’d you like the first installment? Plenty more to come as time goes by. I’ll try to update often, which is more than I can say for my other projects, but those I tried to turn into full-fledged books. This is more a collection of many scenes. Plus diary entries and artwork and such. Anyway, thanks for reading. Catch you on the flip side!

[theres-a-goldensky]

26 + 2 Various BL Series Fic Recs

Fandoms included in this fic rec list: Love By Chance, TharnType, Until We Meet Again, My Engineer, 2 Moons, HIStory3: Trapped (plus a bit of bonus Theory of Love and WHY R U?)

I’ve found a handful of good fics for all of these tiny pairings that I am newly obsessed with, and I thought I’d share them with you if you’re also looking for something good to read. Please, if you have recs of your own, point me in the direction of any other good stuff!

As ever, feel free to reblog and check out my other rec lists for the following fandoms:

The Untamed list one and two - various pairings, mostly Wangxian

IT chapter 2 list one and two - Reddie 

Good Omens - Aziraphale/Crowley

Or just head over to my bookmarks on AO3.

(All recs are complete) (I’ve noted pairings, length, and rating, but not any warnings or additional tags.)

** denotes personal favorite

LOVE BY CHANCE / THARNTYPE

1. the count up series by sweetiejelly - Tin/Can - ~34,000 words, explicit - A fix-it fic post-canon where Tin and Can slowly work out their issues with some missteps and learning along the way.

So two weeks later, when Can first does it, Tin doesn't know what to do. For the longest while, he just turns off his phone screen. And then turns it back on.

good night, tin. it's been a while but i promised to say good night. so, good night, sleep well.

Every damn time the text is still there.

In the end, Tin deletes it.

The next morning, Can does it again.

good morning, tin. looks like rain today. don't forget your umbrella.

Tin deletes it.

The texts keep coming.

2. ** LBC Aftermath series by Mara - LBC/TharnType crossover- ~6700 words, mature - Were you too horrified by Techno’s ending in LBC? This author feels your pain and did her part to get some justice for Techno. This fic has zero sympathy for Kengkla, which I deeply appreciated. This will help you work out some of your anger. It features LBC!Techno and the TharnType versions of Tharn and Type. Mind the warnings, since this deals with the serious consequences of Kengkla’s actions.

Kengkla stayed at the house through the morning and Techno was so jumpy he nearly leaped out of his skin every time Kla looked at him or talked to him. Even though Kla had explained what happened and how he wasn’t upset to be dating, Techno still felt weird. He kind of wished he remembered what had happened. A guy should remember how he lost his virginity, right?

Kla grabbed him in a big hug and Techno froze, managing a weak grin when Kla pulled back to smile at him. “I’ve got to go home now. But I’ll call you later. Let me know if you go somewhere.”

“O-okay.” Techno stared as the boy let himself out the front door.

3. 5 + 1 by strokeofluck - Tin/Can- ~3600 words, rated general - This is a sweet story about the times when Pete sees Tin having feelings for Can. 

Pete weighed his options as he glanced back and forth between Tin and Can. Can didn’t seem to be bothered by the whole thing, he even had a shy smile on his face. Or at least, Pete thought it was a shy smile, he had never really seen this kind of expression coming from Can before.

He could let this whole thing go, he supposed, but he didn’t really want to. It was time for him to finally say to Tin: I told you so.

“You were born in Bangkok,” he said, casting a wide net and hoping Can would find himself caught in it.

Can did.

4. That Testified Surprise by Mara - Techno/Tharn/Type - ~7000 words, mature - This is a LBC canon rewrite that stars the TharnType version of all three characters. Type realizes something is not...quite...right with Kengkla and invites Techno to stay with him and Tharn instead of going home drunk.

Pouring Techno into the passenger seat, Type sat down in the driver’s seat and pulled the phone out to check it, entering the passcode. (The passcode was the birthday of Thai national football team captain Siwarak Tedsungnoen, of course. Duh.)

Fuck, it looked like Nic had been either texting or calling every 20 minutes since they got to the bar. What was up there?

Scrolling back through the evening’s texts, Type scowled harder. Loving brother or not, this was fucking creepy. Going back farther, it looked like it was a pattern. Did the kid do anything other than pester his brother about his whereabouts?

THARNTYPE

5. everything he wants by minkit - ~5100 words, explicit - Type accidentally ruins one of Tharn’s shirts and agrees to do whatever Tharn wants to make up for it. Which means it’s porn stretched over the bare bones of a plot, and it’s great. 

Tharn’s hands moved across the bed, slowly, inch by inch and it was frustrating because Type knew they were heading to him, but Tharn took his sweet time. And then they were covering his hands and Tharn’s face was mere centimeters from his and Type could barely breathe. It took everything he had not to lean forward and capture those lips that also belonged to him, but he had a feeling if he tried, Tharn wouldn’t let him. He had that look on his face and Type knew what it meant.

He knew he was in for a long rest of the night.

6. You’ve Got Mail by perthbysaint - ~7800 words, explicit - Type sends Tharn nudes at the most inconvenient times.

A selfie? From Type? Tharn was thanking all of his lucky stars as he happily taps to load the image. The picture loads and Tharn’s phone slips from his suddenly lax grip. Convinced he couldn’t have just seen what he thought he just saw, he picks his phone up hastily and stares very intently at the picture.

It’s a mirror selfie, obviously taken in a changing room, but that thought comes secondary to thighs. Type is holding the camera in front of his face to take the picture, shirt clenched in his other hand and pulled up slightly to show off the shorts. The fucking shorts. He had seen Type in his soccer gear before and yes, Type has most definitely asked for the wrong size and Tharn is more grateful than he’s ever been for anything in his whole life. The shorts are riding up so high they can’t cover more than a few inches of skin, Type’s smooth, powerful thighs on full display. On the inside of his left thigh, there’s a tiny purple mark peeking out from under the bottom of the shorts. Tharn knows exactly what it is because he was the one who left it there just two days ago when he sucked marks into Type’s thighs for a half-hour before he slung Type’s legs over his shoulders and ate him out until Type was sobbing fat tears and begging Tharn to let him come.

7. pet names series by LokelaniRose - ~50,000 words, explicit - A series of post-episode fics that gives us the sex that the show only hinted at, starting with the shower scene.

Tharn prides himself on his self-control. All his passion and intensity is saved for his music, when he’s safely behind a drum kit and can let it all out. He’s never been as irritated by anyone else as he is by Type and all his playground bullying nonsense. Something about the other boy just shakes something loose inside him, rattles at Tharn’s iron discipline until he has to grit his teeth constantly not to just – what? Kiss him? Kill him? Tharn has enough composure (and pride) to put up a front that’s all smiles and wry amusement, but really he regularly skips between one of two daydreams – twisting Type’s head off or fucking him into the ground.

(Tharn is absolutely not going to admit to the third set of daydreams, of curling up around Type when he’s cold or cheering him on at matches or bringing him home to meet Tharn’s father. Nope, no, definitely not.)

2MOONS SERIES

8. ** The universe where we do not commit reckless, unlubricated buttsex by startledoctopus - Forth/Beam - ~8700 words, explicit - This is a great story about Beam giving in and trying to seduce Forth the same way he seduced all of those girls in his past. This Forth is great, and the story retcons their first time to something far more pleasant for Beam.

   "We're heading into a unit on disorders of the spine and I need to review my basic skeletal and muscular anatomy. But it feels stupid to keep studying these weird-looking diagrams and drawings." None of this was, strictly speaking, factual, but an engineering major wouldn't know any different. Beam gathered up all his bravado, walked behind Forth, and began rucking up his shirts as if this were completely normal.

   "What! I..."

   "Shut up, I need to look at a real back so I know what I'll be looking at as a doctor." Forth let him take the shirts off, glancing back at him several times but giving in meekly to Beam's stern look. Forth shuffled the papers some more.

   "All right. Okay, um...Ah!" Beam smirked at Forth's reaction as he ran his thumbs down the nape of his neck.

9. Good Things Come To by sweetiejelly - Ming/Kit - ~4300 words, explicit - Kit gets drunk and reveals more of his feelings for Ming than he probably means to.

"Hmm." Kit closes his eyes and leans his head back on the headrest. "Ming, Ming, Ming. Do you know your name's a kiss? I'm kissing the air everytime I say 'Ming'!" Kit pops his mouth and it pops Ming's mind a bit. "And then I think about kissing you. Why do you make me think about you so damn much? You're so annoying, Ming. No one's ever..." and Kit leans to the side, almost like he's going to conk out or throw up, only to straighten back up. "... made me this crazy."

Oh shit. Ming doesn't know what to do with all of this information. He knew somewhere deep down that Kit likes him. Kit's eyes can't lie. Kit's mouth can't either, the cusses coming out whenever he's keyed up and flustered, and then there are his kisses.

10 + 11. ** how to fail flirt your way into his heart (a guide by Kit) and a little conversation (and a little action please) by sweetiejelly - Ming/Kit - ~30,000 words, explicit in the second part - This story makes a tiny plot divergence. It has Kit put a little more effort into finding out if Ming is really into Yo and then from there, it loosely follows the plot of the show with some key differences. I really enjoyed this.

"Can I have your number?" Kit mentally face-palms. Why? Damn Pha. Damn Beam. Just damn everything, ugh. He has never flirted in his life. Pin asked him out, okay? He doesn't know how to do this. "I'm Kit, Phana's friend," he says, trying to make it less weird.

"I'm Ming. And of course, P'Kit!" Ming flashes him an easy grin and holds out his hand.

Oh right, the phone. Kit shoves it at Ming, nearly hitting him in the chest. Great, he's acing this.

Ming smiles at him, bemused or confused, probably both, and brushes his hand, totally unnecessarily, over the back of Kit's hand as he takes the phone. "In case of emergency, right?" Ming looks up at him from under his lashes and boy, this nong is brazen.

12. ** In Control series by LokelaniRose - Ming/Kit - ~27,000 words, explicit - Kit struggles to tell Ming that he wants something other than the careful, gentle sex they’ve been having. Ming discovers that Kit has some anxiety and panic problems. He also discovers what helps him feel better. [spoilers: these two things are connected.] I love how attentive and caring Ming is throughout this series. The anxious Kit also rings true to the character we saw on the show.

But now that Kit is fretting over things, he might as well fret over this as well. So Ming is great in bed. And let’s be honest, Kit probably isn’t. He hasn’t had a hundred previous partners – okay, tiny exaggeration, but still – and doesn’t know all the fancy moves and techniques and tricks…and just like everything else, in bed Ming is somehow casual and sincere at the same time. He never seems to want anything except what Kit wants, is always happy to do whatever, to take his time making slow, gentle love to Kit. Kit knows that he always comes at least – he secretly really likes it when Ming comes, he’s not quite sure why – but what if there’s more that Kit could be doing, to make it better for him? If Kit was better in bed maybe it would make up for being a shitty boyfriend in other areas, one who can’t be nice in public or talk about his feelings.

UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN

13. another nightmare fic by itsmylifekay - Win/Team - ~2300 words, not rated - Team tries to sleep without Win and it doesn’t go well. 

Team’s room feels suffocating, the air too thick and the space too dark and the covers sticking to his skin with sweat. His breaths are too loud in the quiet, but the quiet itself is deafening. It reminds him of the water. The muted sounds. The frantic pounding of his heart. (The same one he feels now echoed in his chest.)

Flashes of the dream come back to him unbidden.

Everything is too dark, too bright, no way to see what way is up or what way is down. He’s trapped. Can’t get out. Can’t breathe.

14. ** Different With You by blackrose9212 - Win/Team - ~6900 words, teen - It’s open swim week, which means that the swimming club offers free lessons to any of the students who would like to participate. Team doesn’t understand why his teammates hate it so much - until he does. Great jealousy in this one from both sides. 

“Nice to meet you,” the boy gushes. “I hope you don’t mind, but I’d like to join your group. Auntie said there needs to be at least three people, and no one was sitting across from you two. I’ve been paying attention so I already have ideas. Is that okay?” Team watches as he pulls out his books and drops them onto the table, pushing them a little farther out so they’re nearly touching Win’s notebook.

Team shrugs. “Sure, that’s fine. I don’t think Win has been paying attention so I’m glad you have an idea of what’s going on.”

Win hits him lightly at the back of the hand and Film giggles behind his hand. “Oh, no, P’Win looks very smart. I’m sure he’s been listening.” He looks at Win and smiles a little, blushing when Win gives him a smile back.

Team looks between the two of them. Then back at Film, who’s watching Win leaf through his literature textbook like he’s never seen anything so beautiful, and then past Film at the table he left from, where he sees three boys, laughing behind their hands and making cooing faces.

15. seven hundred thirteen by Kiranokira - Win/Team - ~6800 words, mature - Win spends two years abroad in England, and he and Team have to navigate a long distance relationship. It’s very sweet and written very true to life. 

“I kind of hoped you were going to show up at the airport tomorrow morning and chase the plane,” Win says. He kisses Team’s hair, lingering there to memorize the fresh, clear scent.

Team says, “Is it weird that I thought about doing that?” and Win feels him smile against his shoulder.

It’s late, nearly nine thirty, and Win had plans of how to spend tonight that can’t be realized anymore. He wanted to invite Team to dinner with his family. He wanted to play video games with Team and View. He wanted to talk about London with Waan and Team. He wanted to include Team in his family’s warmth in some small way, to make him feel less lonely.

He can’t do any of that now but he still wants to sneak Team upstairs and have him in his arms all night. He wouldn’t, but he wants to. It’s been a month since he moved off campus permanently, and weeks since he was last able to spend a night alone with Team.

16. ** You Can Cry by Kiranokira - Win/Team - ~19,600 words, mature - Win goes missing while on vacation with some friends. Team is left at home trying to handle it. I like the way the author built up to the accident happening. They did a good job creating tension and showing us exactly how Team felt about Win. And spoilers, this story has a happy ending.

“You’re going to fail out of university,” Team tells him. “You’re not really going, are you?”

Win rolls onto his side and perches his cheek on his hand. “What if I say yes?” he asks. “Will you miss me?”

Team’s warning look is more venomous than usual. “Not at all,” Team says, and Win smirks because that isn’t true and they both know it. “You still shouldn’t go. What if you miss the flight back? You’ll fail out and I’ll break up with you for being a dumbass.”

The very recent phenomenon of Team acknowledging that they’re a couple has its usual melting effect on Win’s heart.

2GETHER

17. ** Love Songs on Our Skin series by Kari_Kurofai - Sarawat/Tine - ~15,700 words, explicit - A soulmark AU where Tine is born with the notes to a song that hasn’t yet been written wrapped around his chest. I enjoyed how Tine’s obliviousness in the show carries over to this fic. 

Only Mr. Chic would have a song no one had ever fucking heard of permanently etched on his chest. For fuck's sake .

Still, he waves it off, and he tries not to look too closely at other people's marks. Tries being the key word. He doesn't envy the elegant watercolors of a guitar pick and an open novel he catches sight of on the wrists of some couple's interlinked hands when he's in town. And he certainly doesn't envy the dude he once saw in a coffee shop with the words " I hate you " scrawled across the back of his neck. But yeah, okay, he might be a little jealous of the people who are lucky enough to have something as simple as their soulmate's name on their skin. That definitely isn't fair.

"Why couldn't it at least have been a Scrubb song?" he asks the mirror as he wipes it clear shower-born condensation. The mirror and him are well acquainted with this conversation by now. In fact, the mirror sees the stupid mark more than anyone, so it might as well put up with his equally stupid questions. "It could have been 'Together.' Just think of it, how romantic it would be to meet some cute girl's eyes after bumping into them at a concert, my favorite song playing . . ." He draws a nail over the winding bars of the music on his chest, frowning. "That would be so much easier."

18. Drown Your Sorrows by HyacinthsSoul - 2gether/Theory of Love - Sarawat and Third meet at a bar and bond over being in love with oblivious men.

“No, he’s an angel,” Sarawat says. “Unfortunately he’s a very stupid, very straight angel.”

“Mine’s stupid too,” the other man admits. “But definitely no angel. I’m Third, by the way,” he adds, offering a slender hand to shake.

“Sarawat,” says Sarawat. “Can I buy you another? I think we’re drinking the same thing, although I can’t remember what it’s called.”

20. ** Your Body Is My Instrument by Kari_Kurofai - Sarawat/Tine - ~12,000 words, explicit - This fic does a good job doing what, in this reccer’s humble opinion, the series failed to: showing Tine attracted to Sarawat. There’s great first time sex and some fun sexual tension. Plus, we get to see them switch off, which is extremely rare in BL. And most importantly: hand kink.

It starts innocently enough. Or, well, innocently enough for a guy whose first words to him were, “Keep looking at me like that and I’ll kiss you till you drop.” So, you know. It starts kinda like that.

They’ve been officially dating for a grand sum total of three days and altogether not that much has changed. Except that Sarawat touches him more now. Normally this would be fine, no big deal, right? But Sarawat has magic, evil hands, and apparently all he has to do is glance Tine’s way to deduce the exact right places and ways to touch Tine to drive him up the fucking wall.

And the worst part is it’s almost never the same place or the same way twice, and the only warning Tine ever gets is that sneaky little glint Sarawat gets in his eyes just before he does it, the bastard.

MY ENGINEER

21. Cool Boy(friend) by HyacinthsSoul - Ram/King - ~22,000 words, explicit - So this is technically a WIP, but each chapter feels like a completed fic without a cliffhanger or anything. This is a very sweet, comfortable story about King and Ram getting to know each other as their relationship develops.

In the selfie King sends, he’s holding up a full shot glass while someone’s arm reaches into the frame to hand him another kind of drink, something tall with a straw and a paper umbrella. Ram frowns. Whose arm is that? The person is wearing a red long-sleeved shirt, which doesn’t match what any of their friend group was wearing, and the engineer bar doesn’t offer table service.

Frowning, Ram looks back through the previous photos until he spots a detail he’d overlooked before: a red-shirted man at a neighboring table. He’s visible in the background of two or three pictures taken by Tee, and in each of them he’s staring intently at King.

Not that it’s any of Ram’s business. Not that he cares.

HISTORY3: TRAPPED

22. it’s too late (to turn back now) by stebeee - Tang Yi/Meng Shao Fei - ~7200 words, general audiences - Canon divergence fic where Tang Yi pushes Shao Fei away after he saves Hong Ye in order to try and protect him. Shao Fei reacts to that about as well as you’d expect.

“Tang Yi, what do you mean-“

“I think you’ve fooled around for long enough,” Tang Yi interrupts, his voice cold, nothing like the man who had dabbed at his lips with a cotton bud last night, the man who had smiled at him when he made the cannon joke.

“You’ve disrupted my life, and the life of my family and friends in the past few weeks, Meng Shao Fei. This has gone for long enough,” he continues, unwavering. “I don’t want to have anything more to do with you. Take a good rest here in the hospital, and I’ll get someone to pack up your things back at the house. Jack will deliver it back to your apartment.”

23 + 24. ** just waiting, waiting (on you) and between you and me by stebeee - Tang Yi/Meng Shao Fei - ~16,000 words, general audiences - These are stories about how Shao Fei and the rest of the gang deal over the years when Tang Yi is in jail. Found family fics are my jam, so I loved this.

The thing is, it’s been almost three months of this. 90 days, give or take. 2,160 hours. 129,600 minutes. And more than 7 million seconds of this — not having Tang Yi at his side.

Shao Fei wonders for a moment if he will ever stop seeing Tang Yi in every corner of the house. When he comes down the stairs in the morning, some part of him expects to see Tang Yi standing at the kitchen island with a bright smile, asking him if he wants jam with his toast that morning. Shao Fei sees Tang Yi in that apron he loves, cooking at the stove when he fixes himself dinner, alone in the spacious kitchen. Seeing Tang Yi’s favourite blue bathrobe, Shao Fei can almost see Tang Yi leaving the bathroom, his hair all wet and falling over his eyes.

25. amuse bouche by sarahyyy - Jack/Zhao Zi - ~2400 words, general audiences - This is more of Jack seducing Zhao Zi through food and attention. So basically an extension of the show. Mother hen Jack is the cutest.

“Jack?” Zhao Zi murmurs blearily. “Why are you here?”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were sick?” Jack shoots back, herding Zhao Zi back into the house. He checks for Zhao Zi’s temperature with the back of his hand. “Fever?”

“Just the flu for now, I think?” Zhao Zi says.

Jack purses his lips. “Have you had anything to eat?”

“I had some bread earlier?” Zhao Zi says, but he also looks shifty enough that Jack mostly takes it with a grain of salt.

26. Absolutely Nothing Goes Wrong by anon - Jack/Zhao Zi - ~4500 words, teen - This is an AU where Zhao Zi is the son of a rival mob boss, but he’s still, you know HIMSELF. And when his father says he’s useless, he decides to prove him wrong by seducing Tang Yi’s second-in-command. It’s absolutely adorable.

The man pulled him by the arm, resisting Zhao Zi’s attempts to unhook his claws without causing a scene.

“Hey, stop grabbing me!” he shouted, as the other man played deaf.

“While I admit this is a very loud bar, I didn’t think it was quite so easy to mishear what this young man just yelled straight into your ear,” a newcomer who’d witnessed their conflict said lightly as he walked up to them. His words were accompanied by a wide, almost chilling smile. Zhao Zi blinked once and the odd peculiarity of that smile vanished, leaving just a regular smile in its place. He must’ve just been imagining things under the harsh shadows of the dimly lit bar.

AND +2

Because I’m shameless, I’ll add my own two fics to the end, if you’re interested.

WHY R U?

27. Sorry A Thousand Times - Fighter/Tutor - ~3200 words, explicit - This is a canon divergence for the series finale. I needed more catharsis after the intensity of episode 12.

Tutor narrowed his eyes and clenched his fists at his sides. He took a deep breath. “How many times do I have to tell you to leave me alone before you listen?” he asked. I don’t know how many more times I can bring myself to say it.

“Only once,” Fight said and then added, “if you mean it.”

Tutor crossed his arms over his chest and said, “What makes you think I don’t mean it now?”

The corner of Fight’s mouth turned up and he took a step closer. Tutor stumbled back until he was stopped by his legs hitting the edge of the bed. Fight reached out a hand and gently ran the back of his fingers over the line of Tutor’s jaw.

Until We Meet Again

28. Dream On - Win/Team - 8900 words, explicit - Takes place alongside show canon, so that we see how the bed sharing began and how Win and Team’s relationship developed over that year.

“Do you want to do well tomorrow?” Win asked, throwing one of his legs over both of Team’s.

“Yes,” Team said as he did his best to put some space between them on the tiny mattress.

“Then you need to get some sleep. I’m helping.”

“How is this helping?” Team demanded.

“Would you stop…” Win said, shifting closer every time Team pulled away. “Five minutes, Team. Just be still for five minutes, okay?”