#and then i didn’t hear anything so i assumed she wasn’t going anymore and then i found out she went without me
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fingertipsmp3 · 6 months ago
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Lads should I go to pride
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theresascove · 1 month ago
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whispers in the dead of night ₊ ⊹
brother’s best friend!ellie williams x f!reader
you started to avoid Ellie when you fear she won’t return the feelings you have, turns out—after a little confrontation in your kitchen at 3am—she feels the same
tw: not proofread, confessions, friends to dating, slight hurt w comfort, kiss at the end, kiss gets a little passionate (then brother walks in on them), r described to be able to put her head on Ellie’s chest
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wc ✎ 1.6k
You knew Ellie, but only through your bother. If you two had a conversation, it was because he had invited her over. If she watched a movie with you, it was because he had invited her over. If she ever said happy birthday to you over the phone, it was because he was calling her first.
He was her friend, before she was yours. You were used to seeing her and a few of his other friend’s over, hanging out in the basement or his bedroom. It looked like fun, but your brother’s obsession with keeping his friends away from you was a bit weird. He would tell you to keep away or else you’ll embarrass him, whatever that means—you fear he already does that enough himself.
She was over again, settled on the couch while your brother was somewhere in the house. Her eyes were locked on her phone, scrolling on some media. You mumbled your hello, moving past the living room to grab something from the kitchen. She was doing absolutely nothing, but the sight of her made your heart race.
“Uh yeah, hello to you too,” she says, tone playful, “haven’t seen you all day, where’ve you been?”
“Homework,” you reply, reaching up into a cabinet to grab food. It was a bold lie, but you didn’t want to say you’ve been avoiding coming downstairs as long as possible since you heard her voice.
You see, since you’ve begun to notice how your heart races whenever she was around—you’ve been hiding away as best you can. Not ignoring her, just not being as friendly and close as you were before. You didn’t tease and come sit beside her, leaning on her shoulder anymore. You kept a distance, a friendly normal distance.
“Right,” she says, slowly, “anything going on? You seem busier.”
Shit. You turn your back to pour a bowl of cereal, hands getting a little shaky from the question. You feel like a spy, having to hide a secret from her.
“Just school life, I mean it’s the middle of the year—it usually picks up.”
“That’s true. You could come join us, we’re going to go for a swim.”
Absolutely not. If you saw her in a swim suit you’d fumble and your middle school crush on her would shine like a prism through a glass window. It’d be so embarrassingly obvious.
“I don’t want to impose, my brother would hate me.”
“Who cares, he can suck his own dick. Come join whenever you feel, we’re about to head out.”
You didn’t. You stayed in your bedroom, listening to them talk through the window in your room. It sounded like his other friend eventually joined, the one you’ve all known since forever since they live next door. You assume she probably overheard them in the pool, and came over. There was splashing, laughing, before it grew quiet. You peeked through and saw them resting, talking quietly with one another. No surprise, but seeing her in the pool made your heart jump. It was ultimately a good choice to avoid this, it saved you the hurt of loosing your dignity.
Time flew. Especially when you had fallen asleep, face laid out on your textbook and papers. You felt the deep headache growing in your skull as you sit up, bringing a hand up to rub at your forehead.
“Fuck,“ you say, looking at how dark your room was now. Going off of the fact that you didn’t hear anyone outside anymore—you assumed they had all gone home. As far as you knew, neither of them were staying over—she wasn’t staying over.
Your stomach growled again. You signed, pulling on a sweater as you made your way down the stairs. Sure you had cereal earlier, but it was so easy to make so you picked the box out again—unaware of the socked feet walking behind you.
“Why’re you up so late?”
Goosebumps rose on your arms, head whipping around to find Ellie looking at you tiredly. Her hair was dripping, the drops sliding down her face and wetting her band shirt.
“I’m getting a snack.”
“I can see that, I meant what kept you up?”
“I actually was asleep, I just randomly woke up starving”
She leans against the counter, eyes following you around. It was quiet for a minute. The kitchen click ticking the seconds became so loud, even as you’re putting the cereal and milk away. It was suffocating.
“Hey, might be overstepping here. You don’t have to answer—I just, are you avoiding me—?”
You felt the air grow cold in your chest, eyes darting at everything except her now. She caught you, and now you really can’t escape—but she can’t know. You’d die before you’d ever let her know. She’d take your dumb feelings and mock you for life, possibly stop showing up as often, stop treating you like a friend—you’d loose her.
“I’m not avoiding you, Ellie,” you respond, voice a whisper. You hope she couldn’t catch onto how your voice wobbled just slightly. Her eyes are watching you, flicking around your face.
“Woah, why’re you crying—hey.”
She’s crossing the kitchen, making quick steps to come stand in front of you. You push back slightly, “there’s nothing, really. I’m just tired.”
“Well there’s something if you’re crying,” she sighs, “please talk to me, I just feel like you’re avoiding me and I don’t kn—“
“Well I like you,” you shove her back for real this time, wiping at your face when you feel a tear slip, “it’s stupid, I know. We’re not even that close, you’re so much closer with my brother. I can’t even explain why, really. It’s dumb—and just whatever, goodnight.”
You push past, not caring to even grab the cereal that you made. There were far more important things at hand, like escaping further embarrassment.
“Oh shit—I, wait a second,” she twists, reaching an arm around to try and reach for you in some way, “fuck, wait. I like you too.”
You laugh, the sound coming out watery and it just further makes Ellie feel all the more nervous, “oh fuck off Ellie.”
“No im serious,” she draws, “I’m so serious. I’ve liked you for so long.”
You stand there, eyes red and looking her straight in the eye with a sharpness of hurt beneath them. She’s breathing hard almost, chest rising and falling as she looks to you with a sad grimace almost.
“Please, talk to me,” she begs, and it turned out to be enough. You stayed, hearing her out, listening to each detail of her story.
“I really do, I really really do like you. I’m not mocking you, I would never do that.”
With your arms wrapped around you, you wrap them tighter—seeking comfort as you take in her words. It felt like a fever dream. Somehow you were more accepting to hear her “deny” you than to spill her feelings.
She reached a hand out, pulling you closer to her again. Reluctantly your body shuffles closer until you’re resting in her embrace—head on her chest. Her hands are warm, slightly shaky as they rub at your back. Ellie’s eyes are looking around at the ceiling, her heart racing so fast against your ear you almost smile. You almost forgot how much of a dork she really is.
“You wanna go out on a date with me now, or something,” she asks, trying to seem nonchalant.
“Yeah. Yeah, I’d love to,” you whisper, “but I do need to get your phone number.”
“Yeah… I don’t know why I’ve gone along with your brother’s bro code. What the fuck, yeah, I need your number.”
You laugh quietly, leaning back to look at her.
“Ellie?”
You say, but it came out more like a hush—mumbled against the air and falling warm against her skin as she moves in closer. Her fingers are moving on your face, brushing it gently.
“Can I kiss you?”
You smile with a nod and it was enough to melt Ellie. She’s dreamed about this, literally. She’s had nights where she’s woken up, fake memories of the two of you hanging out. And now it’s real. She’s holding you in her arms and she’s about to actually kiss you—wow does she feel like she’s dreaming.
It was so sweet, the first moment when your lips touched. You smiled wider snd leaned in again. She kissed back happily, moving forward to chase after you. You wrap your arms around her, pulling her closer just as she does the same.
The kitchen has the same ticking sound of the clock, but now there’s the added sounds between the two of you. You stand there for who knows how long, pressed against a counter and Ellie’s body. It’s a contrast for sure—the difference between her warm hands, and cold chest from her dripping hair.
You gasp just a tad when her mouth fumbled and pressed against your jaw. The sound drove her crazy, hands fighting against your clothes and pulling you closer. Before she could even try and kiss there again, the lights to the kitchen switched on and you felt like a deer in headlights.
Your brother stood, looking between the two of you, “Ellie dammit—“
All she could do was smile awkwardly. For the first time that week, you laughed full heartedly.
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starkwlkr · 9 months ago
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mother (no, literally) | f1
I’m so happy you guys are loving this series 🫶🏼 this one has a bit of a time skip lol
part 1 part 2
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“Did you hear the news?”
“What news?” Lando asked. It was the first race since coming back from summer break and Lando was excited. He had arrived a bit early so he could eat breakfast with his grid mom, but the mention of ‘news’ stopped him.
“Y/n is out of for the rest of the season. Porsche announced it yesterday.” His PR manager, Charlotte, told him.
“Who’s taking her seat?” He asked.
“Juan Manuel Correa.”
Lando stayed silent. He started to think of the worst possible scenarios. He knew she went to to Mykonos with Charlie for her break since she posted on Instagram and texted him that she got him several gifts. Did something happen on her vacation? He prayed that she was okay.
“Do you know if Adam is in the garage?” Lando asked.
“Yeah, he’s still there.”
And so Lando was off to the Porsche garage in search of their team principal. He definitely had the answers. After greeting the engineers, Lando spotted Adam talking with Juan Manuel Correa.
“Hey, man.” Lando greeted the older man. “Where’s Y/n?.”
Both Adam and Juan Manuel looked at Lando with a sorry look. “Did something happen to her? She didn’t text me anything about leaving Porsche.” Lando wanted the truth.
“She’s not leaving. She’s taking a break and don’t ask me for how long, I have no idea when she’ll be back, but for now we have Juan and I’m sure he’ll do an excellent job. Excuse us, we have to have a short meeting right now. Don’t worry, Lando, she’s not sick or injured. She’s fine, actually she’s more than fine.” Adam squeezed Lando’s shoulder as he passed by to get to his team.
“Do you know something?” Lando asked Juan.
“It’s not my place to tell.” Juan said then excused himself to follow his team principal.
Lando figured that if it was one thing bad then surely someone would tell him. But he received no answers.
TIME SKIP BROUGHT TO YOU BY MARK WEBBER’S DILFNESS
The F1 off season was here and Lando had plans. First, he needed to see his grid mother. It had been months since he last saw her and everytime he tried to make time to go see her, she wasn’t home. He found it odd, but at least she responded back to his messages.
Y/n was in her LA home with Charlie making dinner. She had found several recipes she wanted to try out. Her belly had grown, obviously, and she couldn’t hide it anymore. When she went out with Charlie, she would wear baggy clothes, but now those same baggy clothes couldn’t hide her bump.
“I’ve been thinking.” Y/n mentioned, grabbing a chocolate covered strawberry and eating it. “We never talked about godparents. Do you have anyone in mind?”
“I assumed Lando would be the obvious choice even if he doesn’t know about the baby.” Charlie replied, grabbing a strawberry and eating it.
“He was my first choice the second I found out. But I thought that you would choose one of your friends or costars from sons of anarchy.” Y/n stood up from her chair to check on the mac and cheese in the oven.
“If you think Lando should be our baby’s godfather then he should. He’s a great kid, babe. He’s technically your first kid.” Charlie teased.
“I miss my grid kids.”
The doorbell had rung meaning Lando had arrived. It was Charlie’s idea to have dinner with Lando to tell him the news. Well . . Once he noticed the big baby bump on Y/n, he would get an idea. While Charlie went to answer the door, Y/n got the mac and cheese out the oven.
Lando had gotten used to being around Charlie. Sure, he was a bit skeptical at first, but once he got to know the man, he knew that Charlie was the one for his grid mom.
“Hey, mate. How was your flight?” Cherie greeted Lando once he opened the door.
“Same as all the others. How are you and the missus?” Lando asked, bringing in his suitcase since he was going to stay with Y/n and Charlie for a couple of days.
“We’re great. Y/n was counting down the days until you got here. She’s in the kitchen. Babe? Lando’s here.” Charlie announced as him and Lando walked towards the kitchen.
The younger driver was stunned when he saw how much Y/n had changed. It it wasn’t a bad change, it was the best change. She smiled at Lando and walked to him to give him a hug.
“You’re pregnant! That’s amazing! Oh my god, you’re going to be an actual mum!” Lando gasped. “Is this why you’ve been hiding?”
“Pretty much. I didn’t want to make my pregnancy public until the birth. I wanted to make sure everything was okay. But it’s more than okay. Baby Hunnam is healthy and growing so fast.” Y/n explained.
“I’m happy for you. Wow, you’re going to be a mum.” He said it as if he couldn’t believe it. “Congratulations to both of you. Do you know the gender yet?”
“We decided to keep it a secret until the birth.” Charlie added.
“Well I think one thing is certain. Baby Hunnam is going to have a lot of overprotective uncles when they make their paddock debut.”
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wsoc-gay · 5 months ago
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Hurt
Leah Williamson x Reader
Summary: You're a sergeant in the British Army and after breaking some promises it begins to effect yours and Leah's marriage, risking your relationship with your daughter.
A/N: I dont love how the ending of this came out, but nonetheless 10k words of angst with a hint of fluff. As always put your requests in my asks!
Based on this request
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You were ten years old when you met Leah for the first time. She was a thin, tall girl, with sandy blonde hair, and a fringe blowing in her eyes. You were trialing with the Arsenal Academy, having just moved to London. Leah had already been an established player on the team, having played for a few years, but they encouraged all their current players to attend the trial. The first thing she noticed about you was the goalkeeper gloves covering your hands, not many girls your age were willing to play keeper, not to mention enjoyed it. Leah certainly didn’t fancy herself a time in net, frankly she would do anything to avoid going in, she thought you were weird for liking it. The next thing she noticed was that you were taller than her, at that age Leah was always the tallest on the team, she thought it was weird you were so tall.
After a few practices, Leah started to pick up on how fiercely competitive you were, similar to how she was. Most of the girls on your team didn’t care about winning in training and would rather have a good time with their mates, but Leah could see the look in your eye, the way you clenched your jaw, and how you would rapidly open and close your hands after each shot that slipped past you, being trapped by the netting behind you. She liked that about you, how badly you wanted to win at everything you did, this shared passion for winning is what first sparked your friendship.
You weren’t used to having friends, never staying in one place for long enough to make any. Your dad was a captain in the British Army, meaning by your young age you had already lived in more countries than you could remember. This move was different though, you knew you weren’t going to be packing up soon and leaving, this time was for good. This time was for good because your dad was no longer in the Army, he wasn’t even your dad anymore, he was killed on a random Tuesday, in a country you couldn’t pronounce, on what he promised was his last deployment.
It was after dinner time when two men, dressed in the suit your dad wore when he married your mom, knocked on your door. You parents taught you never to open the door for strangers, but when you looked out the window and saw the men in uniforms you assumed they were friends with your dad.
You opened the door and looked up at the tall men, “My daddy isn’t home right now, he’s on a work trip,” they always called his deployments ‘work trips’, your parents didn’t want you to know the seriousness of what he was doing so they settled on calling his deployments his work trips.
The man on the right had a soft smile as he bent down to your level, “We’re actually here to talk with your mum, is she here?”
You nodded your head quickly and turned to go get her. As soon as you turned around you saw her standing in the doorway, a horrified expression on her face. You weren’t sure why she looked so scared it was just your dad’s friends. She knew what they were there for, the horrifying reality of many military spouses and family members. This was something she had nightmares about since he started deploying. A repeating nightmare of men coming to her door to tell her the love of her life was dead.
“Go to your room sweetie,” your mom told you breathlessly.
You gave her a confused look, but before you could ask why she sternly repeated herself. You ran up the stairs, knowing she really meant it, but you didn’t go to your room, you sat hiding behind the wall at the top of the stairs. You tried listening to what the men were saying, but you didn’t hear anything until the gut wrenching sobs that escaped your mom.
You ran down the steps and attached yourself to your mom’s side, not knowing why she was so sad, but knowing she needed you. She pulled you into a tight hug and continued to sob into you. 
Later that night when her sobs softened, she pulled you onto the couch and told you what the men had told her, that your dad died. You tried your best to stay strong for your mom, but you couldn’t help the sobs that wrecked your small body.
It had been a few months since you saw your dad, but after you found out about his passing the only thing you could remember was the last thing he told you, “Look after your mom for me, she gets sad when I’m gone. I’m always proud of you baby.”
Your dad told you to look after your mom and that is exactly what you did. You held her while she cried after work, this happened every night for months. And after you held her, she would send you to bed and there you could cry. You never let your mom see you upset, you thought it would make everything harder for her, so you cried to yourself at night.
For a long time, you were sad, your dad was your hero, you always wanted to be just like him. Leah helped when you were sad, it made you feel better and distracted you from thinking about your dad when the two of you hung out. You and Leah lived in different neighborhoods and when to different primary schools when you were young, but every day you would get off at her bus stop and walk over to her house. Your mom was a nurse, she worked long days in the hospital, oftentimes not getting home until after you had already finished training. 
So, saying you hung out with Leah a lot was an understatement, you’d go to her house after school, drive together to training, then go back to her house and wait for your mom came to get you. You didn’t see you mom much, but whenever you did, she was not in a good mood, either about to go into or just come off a long shift. She was always angry when she’d pick you up from Leah’s. She was angry until you got home, she took a seat on your couch with her special drink, and eventually fall asleep. Before you went to bed you’d turn the tv off and cover her in a blanket.
You loved your mom and knew everything she was doing was for you, but you couldn’t help but miss your dad. You would never dare tell you mom about how much you missed him, remembering back to the last time you did and being met with a slap across your face that kept your cheek red for nearly three days. You told her how sad you were and how much you missed him, and she started yelling about how she missed him more than you and that you would never understand how much she missed him. The alcohol was clear on her breath, but you didn’t notice at that age.
The next day you told Leah and her mom that you had tripped in the garden, Leah believed you, but even though her mom wasn’t so sure she let you on your way, making sure to keep an extra close eye on your mood the next few days. It was hard to tell if anything was different with you, since you got to London you had become much better at hiding your feelings. You wanted to look after your mom so you wouldn’t let her see you sad. You also didn’t want to talk about your feelings, so you hid it from everyone. You got horribly used to keeping your feelings to yourself, so you would just bottle them up, hoping no one would notice. Your dad was a strong man, you never saw him cry and you wanted to be just like him, so no one would see you cry.
Even as you got older and didn’t need to spend as much time at Leah’s, now being old enough to stay home alone, you still found yourself taking the bus to Leah’s neighborhood and spending afternoons before training there. Oddly enough the older you got the earlier your mom was getting out of work, you’d arrive home from training to see her passed out on the couch, with a bottle of whatever her alcohol of choice was that day on the table beside her.
You would put your stuff away in your room before cooking dinner, eating your serving, plating your mother’s to put on the table aside her for whenever she woke up, and then would go to your room for the night. You didn’t like to hang around for when your mother woke up, whenever you were there, she would find something to yell at you about. Nothing you could do would be good enough for her and then she’d drag your dad into it, telling you how you would never make him proud. Having heard her say that to you since the day he died you decided you’d join the army as soon as you were of age, you know that would make him proud. 
You were fifteen when you were drunk at a party and kissed Leah. You had been harboring feelings for her for a few years at that point. When you were younger you weren’t sure what those feelings were, having never had many friends you assumed you just liked her as a friend. As you got older, and people started dating you realized that you were falling for the blonde girl. It was easy to hide for a while, you both always hung out and you were able to hide those feelings like you did with any other feeling.
However, that night under the influence of a bit of alcohol you couldn’t hold in those feelings anymore. When you kissed her, she was shocked for a moment, but quickly kissed you back. She had been feeling the same way for a while but didn’t think you saw her that way. You started dating a week later and had been together ever since.
You were in the stands when Leah made her debut for the full team at 17 and she was there for you the day you graduated your final phase of training at 18. Leah wasn’t necessarily overjoyed at the prospect of you joining the Army, but you had talked about since the day you met, and she was never going to stand in the way of what was your dream. She was going to stand by your side through it as you were doing it for her.
You got married ten years into your relationship, a beautiful ceremony just outside London, surrounded by your friends, co-workers, and families. You were dressed in dressed blues adorned with medals you were oh so proud of as Leah looked astonishing in her elegant white gown. 
You both were 30 when Leah won the World Cup, however, you weren’t there to witness it. Instead of being there to witness history being made you were halfway through a deployment to the Middle East watching the games on the rare occasion you had access to the internet. 
When you arrived home four months later, you and Leah went on holiday to celebrate your homecoming and her world victory. You were sat at a nice dinner to celebrate the last day of a lovely holiday when Leah told you she wanted to have a baby. It was a conversation you had before, both of you knew you wanted kids, but you didn’t want to get pregnant and at the time Leah wasn’t sure if she would be willing to put her career on hold to have a baby. But now, after having completed international football, she decided she was ready to pause her career and fulfil both of your dreams.
It was the perfect time to have a baby, Leah didn’t have any major international tournaments the following year and you had just gotten home from a deployment and likely wouldn’t be sent away for at least a few more years. You started the IVF process as soon as you arrived home from holiday and after two rounds were officially expecting a baby girl. Amelia Lily Y/L/N Williamson was born on a sunny September day and was immediately your entire world.
The next time you were deployed was when Amelia was 2 years old, you told her the same thing your mom used to tell you about your father, that you were going on a work trip. 8 months later when you came home Amelia had a rough time adjusting to you being back in the home, clearly affected by your absence.
The fighting with Leah started soon after you came home, it wasn’t every night and was never anything physical, but you and Leah would argue about your career. You were lucky that you hadn’t been stationed outside of England since 24, but the deployments every few years took a toll on your relationship. She had been asking about you leaving the Army since you got married, she wanted you home more, and didn’t want to be having to worry about you possibly dying overseas in the same manner your father did.
It was 2 weeks after you had gotten home, and Amelia still wasn’t quite used to you being there yet. She wouldn’t let you handle bath time alone, wouldn’t let you play with her, and wouldn’t let you put her to bed without Leah there as well.
You were sat on the edge of Amelia’s bed, attempting to read her a story before she went to bed, but she wouldn’t calm down, “I want Mama,” the small girl cried pushing a hand against your chest.
You ran a hand through her blonde hair, “Mama will be here soon, lovie, I’m just going to get started on your story while we wait for her.” 
She clenched her fists and pounded them into her bed, “I don’t want Mummy bedtime story, I want Mama bedtime story,” the small girl cried.
Since you got home you and Leah had tried to give you more one on one time with Amelia, hoping that she would get more used to you being around, but every time you tried it ended this same way. Leah wasn’t busy right now, she was sat on the couch in your living room, hoping to remain there until she heard the story finish. Leah had done the beginning of Amelia’s nighttime routine, her bath, her teeth, getting her dressed, but hoped that she’d allow for you to handle the story.
You sighed and looked to your daughter with pleading eyes, “I’m reading the same story Mama reads you, Mama will be here soon, but we’re just going to read the story,” you held up the book to show her the familiar cover page.
She flipped onto her stomach and dug her head into her pillow crying, “I don’t want you Mummy, I want Mama.”
You sighed, the guilt of seeing your daughter like this after your absence was eating you alive. You knew how hard she took it when Leah left for weekend away trips, but you never expected her to act like this upon your return. You had expected her to be excited to see you home, knowing you both were always close. Ever since she was born, she loved being with you. After Leah would feed her, you would take your daughter to burp and then she’d fall asleep against your chest, one hand gripped to your shirt and cuddled as close to you as possible. She always loved being in your arms, even as she grew your arms were huge around her, she always felt so safe with you, anytime she was upset everything seemed to melt away the second she was in your strong arms.
You sat there rubbing your hands over your face when Amelia began kicking her feet into her mattress, “I want Mama, Mama doesn’t leave me,” now she was screaming.
You sighed rubbing a hand on her back, “I don’t like leaving you sweetie, but I have to for work.”
“Mama leaves on work trips and Mama comes home. You leave for work trips, and you don’t come home,” the small girl continued was sobbing into her pillow.
It broke your heart to hear your little girl like this. From your own experience you remember how hard it was having your father leave on his deployments, but you don’t remember ever getting to the extent that you saw your daughter right now. You were always overjoyed the minute your dad got home, you’d be waiting at the base for him and jumping into his arms as soon as he reached you. You wouldn’t let him out of your sights for weeks after he’d return, too scared that he’d disappear again.
You couldn’t help but feel like you failed her, this little girl and her mom were your whole world and you felt like you failed them both. Here you were sat on the edge of a little bed, staring into small eyes identical to those of the love of your life as she laid in bed sobbing because you were sat next to her.
You sighed and had you head in your hands when suddenly you heard a familiar voice in the doorway, “Mama is here now let’s read your bedtime story.”
Leah walked around to the opposite side of the toddler bed and sat on the edge, one hand rubbing down your daughters back, “Would you like to read your story now?” she asked the toddler.
You and Leah looked at each other confused as you heard a quiet mumbling into the pillow, neither of you sure what she had said, “What was that, lovie? Can you speak up, please?” you softly asked.
She turned her head to face your wife and grabbed her sleeve, “I don’t want Mummy here for story time. Just want Mama.”
Your heart broke all over again as you heard her words, Leah looked to you with tired and heartbroken eyes, before she spoke, “It’s okay sweetie, we can do our usual story time with Mummy.”
Amelia dug her head back into the pillow as she repeatedly shook her head no.
Leah went to speak again, but you cut her off putting your hand up, “It’s okay Le, I’ll go,” you leaned down to place a kiss on your daughter’s head, “I love you, lovie, sleep well,” you stood up and walked out of the room not before looking back from the doorway and seeing Amelia roll over and cuddle into Leah’s side.
The first dew nights you understood that she was upset, and over your calls with Leah, knew it was going to take some getting used to for the 3-year-old. However, you never expected it to drag out this long. She used to love you reading to her before bed, she’d cuddle into your side while Leah read to her, almost always falling asleep in your arms.
You dragged yourself down the halls and into your shared bedroom with Leah. You changed into a pair of shorts and an old, oversized army hoodie. You went into the bathroom and stared at yourself in the mirror for a while. Every time you came home from a deployment you looked to have aged about 5 years, you were only 33, but by the dark circles under your eyes, and the stress wrinkles covering your face, people could’ve guessed you were well into your 40s. 
Deployments were always hard, out in the sun all day, working all day, not sleeping well, and being away from Leah. This deployment was a lot worse than the others, not only being away from Leah, but also Amelia took a large not toll on you, and to make it worse it was a rough deployment. Your troop was sent on more missions than you had ever experienced on a deployment before, you were stationed in a high combat area. Multiple soldiers under your command had died in combat and being their sergeant, you took their deaths especially hard. You felt like you were the reason these soldiers weren’t going to return to their families.
Your PTSD was also worse than ever before. You’ve had it since your early deployments, but it never went past a few nightmares, now it wasn’t just at night, you were starting to have panic attacks. They would come without warning, you were at the park with Leah and Amelia yesterday afternoon when a loud scream in the distance sent your mind back to the battlefield, you suddenly were shoving your wife and daughter behind your back, wanting to protect them from whatever caused the screams. Amelia was terrified seeing you like that and it took Leah nearly 20 minutes to calm you down and convince you that they were safe.
You remember when this used to happen to your dad, you didn’t realize what it truly was at the time, but now you understand. It would take you mom a while to calm him down, but you weren’t scared of him when it happened, you knew that he was only ever doing it to protect you. Amelia didn’t see it this way, all she saw was you panicking trying to protect her and Leah. It put Leah in a complicated spot, trying to calm you down while also trying to convince your daughter that you were okay.
Your hands were leaning against the counter and your head hanging low when you felt a hand rubbing your back, you looked up in the mirror to see Leah’s face reflected right behind your shoulder, “She go down alright, once I finally left?”
Leah sighed, “It’s not like that-”
You cut her off before she could continue, “Yes, it is, Leah, our daughter hates me,” you turned away from the counter and walked into your bedroom, sitting on the edge of the bed.
Leah followed you into the room sat next to you placing a hand on your thigh, “She doesn’t hate you, y/n, she-”
You sharply cut her off again, “She’s just getting used to it, I know Leah, but I never had to get used to my dad being home, not like this. I was overjoyed when he was home, I wouldn’t let him out of my sight when he came home. He was my best friend, my hero, and I thought that’s how Amelia saw me, but clearly, I was wrong.” 
Leah sighed rubbing circles into your thigh, “I wasn’t going to say that” she sent you a small glare, “So stop interrupting me,” you nodded, “I was going to tell you that she cried almost every night for the first month. She wanted to know where you were, she didn’t understand why you weren’t coming home and I didn’t know what to tell her,” Your wife sighed, “Every away match when she’d come with me, she would be so angry the whole trip, constantly complaining about how she was missing out on her Mummy and Amelia days. She missed you, love, she missed you so much she didn’t know how to handle it. She is mad that you left that’s why she’s taking it so hard.”
You wiped a hand over your face, “Well, what am I supposed to do about that now? She was mad that I left, I get that, but I’m home now and I’m trying, and she hardly lets me see her.”
The blonde defender rubbed her hand over your thigh, “You can try apologizing to her. Tell her that you’re sorry for leaving and that you won’t be leaving like that again.”
“You know I can’t tell her that, Leah. I may not be leaving soon, but eventually I’ll have to leave again.”
“Or you don’t have to leave again?”
You scoffed, “You know I can’t just tell the Army not to deploy me, I’ll have to leave again.”
Leah sighed and looked towards her feet, “I’m trying to say that maybe you should think about stepping away from the Army.”
You laughed, “That’s funny, love, leaving the Army,” You looked towards her and saw the serious look on her face, “You’re not kidding, are you?”
Her blue eyes met yours, “No, I’m not kidding.”
“I’m not leaving the Army, end of story.”
“You’re not even going to talk about it?”
You pushed yourself off the bed and turned to face the England captain, “There’s nothing to talk about, I’m not leaving the Army.”
Leah stood up and walked towards you a stern look and tone in her voice, “Why won’t you talk about it? Do you not care about your relationship with Amelia?”
You took a step back and pointed a finger towards her, “Don’t you dare bring her up. You know this has nothing to do with her.”
“How does it have nothing to do with her? You’re seeing now the consequences your career is having on her,” Your wife started to raise her voice, “This has everything to do with her, you’re destroying your relationship with her.”
You knew she had a point, that your career was affecting your relationship with your daughter. Anyone could tell that you leaving was affecting her, but what you failed to notice was how it also affected Leah. You never thought about how hard it was on her, she was always so excited to hear from you while you were away and celebrated every time you came home, it never crossed your mind how hard you being away was on her.
She noticed your hesitancy to answer, and you saw her seem to draw in on herself, she spoke softly, “And it’s not only affecting your relationship with her,” the blonde defender looked down at her feet.
“What are you trying to say, that my career is affecting us?”
Leah looked at you as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, “Of course it is.”
You looked at her and your expression dropped, “You never mentioned anything.”
Tears began to peak in her eyes, “I didn’t think I had to mention anything. I’ve been worrying about you over the course of your deployments for over ten years,” she wiped a tear as it began to fall, “Everyday you’re there I am absolutely terrified. Every time you reschedule a call because you’re going out, I stay awake for days, unable to sleep because I’m so worried sick over you,” the tears began falling harder, “Every there’s a knock on the door I’m terrified that I’m going to open it to the same thing your mom did when your dad died.”
“Don’t mention my dad to use him against me.”
She gasped, “I’m not using him against you. I’m trying to get you to understand why I think you should leave the military. I’m trying to get you to see it through my eyes, the eyes that are worried sick of her wife, the mother of her child, dying in a sandpit overseas.”
“Have I ever asked you to quit football?” you sharply asked.
Leah’s voice was raised now, “How is this the same as football?”
Your tone matched hers, “You’re gone all day at training and then leave for days at a time, I go on deployment once every few years, Leah.”
She scoffed again, “You’re gone once every few years for nearly a year at a time. And I know while I’m at football you’re not worried about me dying.”
You turned and began to walk out of the room, “I’m not leaving the Army, that’s final.”
Leah yelled out as you reached the doorway, “Please just think about it. Think about how much better our life could be with you at home, think about how this is affecting all of us.”
You nodded before turning and leaving Leah in the middle of your room, tears streaming down her face.
The truth was you thought about it, for about thirty seconds. You knew you weren’t going to leave the Army. While you heard everything Leah had said and hated the way she felt about the situation you knew that you weren’t going to leave the career you had made. The career you were so proud of, the life that you knew your dad would be proud of. 
---
Now, two years later you stood in your kitchen, sobs wrecking from your wife after you just told her you would be deploying again in two weeks’ time. While Leah knew it was a longshot to get you to leave the Army two years ago, she thought that you would think it over and come around before they would get the chance to deploy you again. 
She thought you would think about her, about Amelia, and realize that the right decision was to leave. She hoped that her retirement from football last year would spark something in you, but evidently it didn’t.
The strong former defender looked tiny as she leaned against the counter, her body wrecked by sobs, “Why are you doing this to us?”
Your hands were dug through your hair, “I’m not doing anything to us. This isn’t about our family it is about my career.”
Leah stood up and pushed her two hands against your chest, “This has everything to do with us, you’re leaving us again. I thought that you would finally stand up and choose me and your daughter over the Army, but clearly, I was wrong.”
“I’m not choosing anything over anyone. I’m going to war, to fight, and protect you. I am not choosing the Army over you; I’m choosing the Army for you.”
Leah’s sobs were lessened by her raised voice, “If you were choosing something for me, for us, you would’ve left the Army two years ago when your daughter could hardly look at you for months.”
She was right, it had taken Amelia nearly four months of you being home, to get over the betrayal she felt by your absence. It wrecked you seeing her like that, for so long, but the only thing you had at that time was the Army. Your career never turned its back on you, it celebrated your devotion, and you sacrifice. The only thing that helped you feel better during that time was going to work and knowing you were making a difference.
You lowered your voice, hoping to calm the situation, “I need to do this, love. You know what my career means to me.”
Leah’s expression was still cold, “Don’t call me that while you’re telling me that you’re choosing work over me.”
You slammed your fist against the countertop, “How many times do I need to tell you that I’m not choosing work over you. Nothing is more important to me than my family and the Army.”
Her hands covered her face, “Why is your family at the same level as your job? I would never have chosen football over you and our daughter. I gave up my career for a year just to have her.”
Your expression was stern and portrayed little emotions, “The Army is my family-”
The blonde cut you off, shoving you back again, “Stop saying that me and Amelia mean no more to you than the Army. In no world should your family be at the same level as your job.”
Now you were angry, “This isn’t just my job this is my life, this is my father’s legacy. I am committing myself to the same thing he did. I am living the life that he gave his entire existence to.”
“And do you want to die before you see your daughter turn ten?”
You sucked in a tight breath, “Don’t you dare say that to me.”
She gasped, “That’s the truth. It’s the harsh reality and it is the reason why you need to choose us over your job.”
“I’m not leaving the Army; I’ll be home in nine months and when I get home then, and we have this same conversation my answer will not change,” your cold expression never faltered.
She sighed and spoke the quietest since the beginning of the argument, “Then I’m leaving you.”
Your head whipped towards her, “What did you just say?”
More confidently this time, “I am leaving you and I’m taking Amelia with me. We can’t live like this anymore.”
“We’ve been together for 20 years you can’t just leave me.”
Leah leaned back against the counter, “And for the first 17 years I thought that me and our daughter came first. The last three years you’ve made it painfully obvious that isn’t true and I’m not going to raise my daughter in that environment.”
You crossed your arms, “I love you, Leah, I have for the past 20 years. I love Amelia and I have since the second she was born. You can’t leave me.”
You walked towards where Leah stood and reached to grab her hand. Your wife slipped away from the counter and crossed to the other side of the kitchen, “I know you love us, and you know that I love you too, but we can’t keep coming second to your career.”
“You don’t come second you-”
Leah cut you off, “Were on the same level, I know you’ve been telling me for years. I’m not going to put up with it anymore. Your family is supposed to come first and clearly, you’re not capable of that, so I’m done. You can try and fight it if you want, but I want to handle this between us. You know what is best for Amelia, you know that she is better off with me,” you just looked at her, unable to speak, “I’m going to pick her up from school, I hope you’re gone when I get back.”
“You’re not even going to let me say goodbye?”
Leah knew this meant that you agreed to her terms, you would give her full custody of your daughter. As much as it hurt, you knew that Leah was right. She would be able to give her the better life, Amelia would miss you for the first few months, but just like your last deployment, she would get over it and she would settle into her new life.
“You’re right, but you’re not staying here tonight. You can say goodbye during bedtime, but I want you gone before I go to bed.”
With that Leah walked out of your shared home, the home you had lived in for the last 8 years. You walked to your bedroom, the bedroom that held so many fond memories. In that room Leah told you that she was ready to have a baby, you did all the IVF shots there, you read the test confirming Leah’s pregnancy, felt Amelia move for the first time, spoke to your baby girl, held your daughter while she screamed during the night, and so many more. 
Now here you stood, staring into your closet deciding what you wanted to take with you as you moved out of your beloved home. Moved out of this home by yourself, leaving your daughter and wife, soon to be ex-wife, behind.
There were a lot of tears that night as you said goodnight to your daughter. You had tears in your eyes and streaming down your cheeks as you knew it would be the last time you would see her for a long while. Tears were also streaming down her face as she cried for Leah, you had told her you would be deploying again, and she did not take it well. Once you told her she immediately shut down and wanted her Mama there, the woman who never left her behind.
She didn’t understand what this goodbye meant, and you didn’t have the heart to tell her. You promised your blonde daughter that you loved her and that you’d always protect her even if you were halfway across the world. So, you left that night under the gauge that you were deploying, not telling her that you would be gone for much longer than that now.
---
It was six months later when you found yourself waking up under the bright, blinding lights of a hospital room. You weren’t sure where you were or what was happening as your breathing increased and you slowly began to panic. Sitting up quickly and searching the room for a sign of where you were.
The room was silent besides the sound of your labored breathings and subtle beeps from the machines on your bedside. It was a small room, but if anything was clear from the number of machines whirring beside you, it was that whatever you were here for was serious.
The white walls and lights lit up the room fully, but they were accompanied by the sun shining in from the large windows. It looked as every other hospital you had visited; the room your mom was brought to when she cut her hand open while drinking in your teenage years, the room Leah was in after her ACL tear, the room Amelia was born in, and the room you visited injured soldiers in. 
Even though you didn’t know what brought you here, every hospital room granted the same feeling, fear, doubt, shock. Your entire body was in an achy pain, moving ever so slightly caused pain to radiate through your entire body. Even just the lights sent pain searing through your head.
The door was opened, and a female doctor rushed to your bedside, “Calm down, Sergeant, you’re okay, you’re safe.”
You gave her a confused look with wide eyes, “Where am I?” you croaked out, your voice scratchy.
“You’re in the hospital, you were injured in the field a week ago. You have been in a coma since.”
Your eyes widened, you had no memory of an injury, “What happened?”
You were five months into your deployment when you were informed of your next base move. Your unit was being sent to a different base, nearly four hours away, in a much more dangerous area. The British squad there was slowly being overpowered by the enemy and they needed more British soldiers there to defend.
This deployment had been noticeable easier than your previous one. You had been stationed in a much safer area than last time and rarely had to go out on missions. You were stationed far away from any enemy camps and hardly came across anyone in your day-to-day. Your squad was only sent on missions when a British troop was in danger.
You hadn’t lost anyone in your squad, but this seemed a bit too good to be true. You hadn’t been on the front lines often, but when you were it was highly dangerous. It was a near miracle that none of your soldiers had lost their lives.
Now you found yourself in the passenger seat of your Foxhound, your right-hand man for this deployment in the driver’s seat beside you. You were about two hours into the drive when the unimaginable happened.
You were driving along a dirt road, the same you had been on for the whole journey, and nearly identical to ever other road in this area. There were no buildings around, no people, and no vehicles other than your unit’s. All of a sudden you hit a bump, for the second you recognized it as a rock in the road, but then suddenly your truck was being blown through the air and flipping over itself. 
The IED blew the back of your truck tumbling over the front. The flip crushed the and folded in the hood, trapping your left leg in the damage. The other vehicles in your unit weren’t damaged and the other soldiers came running to the aide of you and your partner. You were unconscious the minute the roof of the truck hit the ground, and as your men reached you, they quickly realized you were stuck in the damage. 
They were able to get the other man out, his injuries seemed minor compared to yours. You had severe injuries that even your soldiers could assume were nearly deadly. The aide unit reached you an hour later, your soldier sat by your side protecting the vehicle incase any insurgents heard the explosion. The rescue team was able to get you out of the damage in due time, but at the cost of your left leg. They treated you at a nearby aide station until you were stable enough to be transferred to a hospital. 
This was a week ago, now you laid in your hospital bed, finally waking from the medically induced coma the doctors had placed you in due to the traumatic brain injury you suffered. As the doctor explained your injuries, losing your leg, broken ribs, cracked skull, TBI, shattered wrist, and many internal injuries, you zoned out not truly believing the words falling from the doctor’s mouth. You lifted the blanket covering your legs and looked down to see your missing extremity, it was almost as if you didn’t believe what the doctor was saying.
Your breathing was still fast, but it was beginning to regulate as you realized what was happening. All you were thinking about now was how much you wished someone was by your side, but you knew that wasn’t happening. This was the life you had chosen for yourself, a life alone, a life with the Army as your family, the life you chose over your real family. You knew that Leah wasn’t there for you and wasn’t coming to you.
The doctor interrupted your thoughts when she spoke, “Sergeant, we will be transferring you to London shortly. You’ll be remaining there until their doctors declare you healthy enough to return home. You’ll be heavily sedated for the trip, otherwise due to your injuries you would be in unimaginable pain.” 
You simply nodded your head, not knowing how to respond to the doctor’s words. As they began to prepare you for transfer your head was empty. The only thing you were sure of at the moment was the pain radiating through your body. There wasn’t much running through your head, you weren’t sure what to think of the situation. And as they put you under the sedation the only thing you were thinking of was about was what would happen once you were back in London, where you would go.
You woke up a few hours later, lying flat in a new hospital bed, looking up at a ceiling nearly identical to the one you were in hours earlier. The same bright lights, white ceiling, whirring of medical devices on your bedside. You heard quiet talking in the distance when you leaned up on your elbows and saw a man in a white coat standing in the doorway speaking to someone that was blocked by the wall.
You watched for a moment, they hadn’t noticed you were awake, and then turned to look around the room. You spotted a bag which you could never forget sitting on the couch to your right, Leah was here.
Wincing as you moved up the bed, now leaning against the bed frame. The doctor turned to look into the room, clearly having heard your pained noise.  Once he saw you awake and sitting up, he walked in, Leah following behind, “Nice to see you awake Sergeant, I hope the flight over was smooth.”
You smirked, “Wouldn’t be able to tell you if it wasn’t,” you looked past the doctor to see Leah hesitantly standing next to the doorway, leaning against the wall.
 “I’m just going to do a few quick checks on you and then I’ll leave you to get some rest.”
The doctor came to your bedside and took notes in your chart with some of the information on the many devices connected to your body. As he did some hands-on checks you couldn’t stop staring right past him and at the English defender standing in the back. You weren’t sure why she was here; you had changed your emergency contact right before you left on deployment, fearing this exact situation. You knew where you stood with Leah and didn’t want her to be called in if something like this were to happen.
The doctor finished her checks and confirmed that everything looked good in relation to your current state. He looked to Leah as he announced you’d likely be staying in the hospital for about a week, they needed to keep a close eye on your recovery.
The doctor left the room after mentioning he’d be back soon to check on you once again. Leah thanked the doctor and looked over toward you, there was a silence for a minute neither of you quite knowing what to say, but you broke it, “You don’t have to be here, Leah.”
The blonde slowly approached your bed, “Don’t even try telling me to leave.”
“I’m sorry they called you, I’m not sure why they did. I changed my mom to my emergency contact; I don’t know why they-”
Leah cut you off as she sat on the edge of your hospital bed, “They didn’t call me,” you gave her a confused look, “Your mom called me. Why’d you put her down?”
You had a strained relationship with your mom since you moved out of the house. She tormented you after your father died, always drunk and always angry. It was when you enlisted that she really hated you, she didn’t understand why you would put yourself into the same situation that killed your dad. At the time you didn’t understand her anger, you thought what you were doing was honorable, was something to be proud of. What you knew now, from being with Leah, was that she was simply terrified, just like Leah was. You moved out after you enlisted and after the argument that followed. 
You and her had some contact, mostly through her expenses and medical care. As much as Leah hated it, you were always there for your mother whenever she called. And while it was never personal and you never introduced her to your daughter, you always took care of whatever she needed. She’d call you for money, you received all her bills, you took care of everything because even with how horribly she treated you, there was always that part of you who understood her. You understood the spiral she had after your father’s passing and he told you to take care of her, and you would never disobey one of his orders. Her drinking was something you delt with from the moment your dad passed. What you didn’t notice as a kid, was that she wasn’t attending work. When you were at school and Leah’s hour assuming she was working in the hospital, she really was at home drinking. The alcohol has taken its toll on her body and her health was now steadily declining.
Leah, obviously, knew all of this having been there for you through it all. Which is why she was so confused to find out that you had her placed in the spot your ex-wife once held.
You looked down in your lap, “Well, I needed to take you off it and I didn’t know who else to put. I filled it out assuming it wouldn’t have to be used, but here we are.”
She let out a soft chuckle, “Well here we are, Y/N.”
You met her eyes, staring into the blue, “What’d she say when she called you?”
Leah sighed, “I don’t think that’s important.”
Your expression grew more serious, “Yes, it is, please tell me.”
The blonde sighed and looked to the ceiling, “She was clearly drunk when she called, it was after you had arrived here, so I’m not really sure what she thought when she got the first call you were hurt, but she didn’t call me then,” Leah took your, uninjured, hand in hers, “She told me that you were here, but that she didn’t remember what the doctor told her about what happened or how you were, so I was half-expecting to show up here and you be in even worse shape. She said that this was your own fault, and that you did this to yourself by choosing to be in the Army. Then she told me it was my fault for not convincing you to leave sooner, started blaming me for killing you,”
You squeezed her hand, “This isn’t your fault, you tried to get me to leave. This was my own fault.”
She sighed, “I know, and I told her I tried to get you to leave, but she just kept saying that this was the same thing that happened with your dad. That he didn’t love her or you enough to leave and it killed him.”
“She has always said I’m just like him, but you know this isn’t your fault. You know I love you and Amelia more than anything.”
Leah’s eyes met yours, “I know you do; I was so scared when she called, I thought you were dead.”
“I might be better off dead at this point,” the defender slapped your thigh, “I lost my leg Leah I can’t be a soldier anymore. I lost you and Amelia when I decided to stay in, and now I’ve lost the career I risked everything for.”
“I’m going to help you get through it, don’t worry.”
You sighed, “You don’t have to do that Leah, I know how you feel about me.”
“I’m going to help you; I’m not just throwing you to the curb.”
You leaned your head against the pillow, “I know I fucked up; I don’t expect you to forgive me and help me just because I got hurt. I’ll figure it out.”
“You don’t have to, I’m taking you home once they let you out of here,” she looked towards the foot of the bed, “I’m helping you get through this, we’ll work through it together.”
“What about Amelia? Won’t it confuse her?”
Leah sighed and spoke softly, “I never told her we split.”
You gave her a confused look, “You didn’t tell her?”
She had a serious look on her face, “No, I didn’t,” the confused look was still plastered across your face, “I might’ve regretted it after it really sunk in.”
Suddenly you felt a jolt of optimism deep in your stomach, you might not have really lost her, “What do you mean?”
Tears started to prick in her eyes, “I was just so terrified of losing you. The last deployment was so difficult on all of us, and I just didn’t think I could go through it again,” you reached to hold the blonde’s hand, “After you said you’d think about leaving I just thought that seeing how it had affected Amelia would convince you to leave, so part of me spent those years just expecting you to leave. When you came home and said you’d be going back I couldn’t handle it.”
You sighed, “I’m sorry, Le.”
“I just was so terrified that I would lose you and had convinced myself you couldn’t come out of every deployment healthy and that eventually it would catch up to you.”
You smirked, “Are saying you jinxed me?” Leah shot you a glare, “Sorry, sorry just trying to lighten the mood.”
The captain let a small smile cross her face, “You always are trying to lighten the mood.”
“You’re always too serious,” you countered.
“We even each other out.”
“Yes, we do.”
You spent the next week in hospital, Leah would come every day to visit for a few hours while Amelia was in school. You had asked her not to bring your daughter to see you, you didn’t want her to see you in the state you were in. You and Leah were slowly amending things, you knew it would be a long journey for the two of you, but you were taking the proper steps there. You spent the time in the hospital talking any things through, it seemed like the first time in a while you both had a proper conversation about what was going on in your heads. Leah told you her fears and you expressed why you were so desperate to stay in.
It was a week after arriving at the London hospital when you were crutching your way into your home. Leah had opened your car door for you and was rushing around you to grab the front door as well, she truly was a miracle worker for you. You had gone home during schooltime which was best, it gave you a few hours to settle back in before Amelia returned home. Leah had told her about everything going on so that the young girl wasn’t startled to see you, but you knew she wouldn’t understand completely until she saw you, and frankly you and Leah didn’t yet know how she’d react to seeing you.
You laid on the couch for the next few hours your foot and new stump were laid on the couch next to you while Leah seemed to be running at one hundred miles a minute trying to make sure you had everything. 
You looked over the back of the couch to Leah in the kitchen, “Would you come sit down Le? I’ve got everything I need I promise.” 
She continued her rummaging through the cabinets, “I’m just trying to fix you a snack I don’t want you to worry about anything.”
“I’m not hungry and the only thing I’m worried about right now is your heart rate,” you could hear Leah laugh from the kitchen, “I’m serious, love, come sit with me and relax.”
You leaned up as the defender approached the couch, sliding into where your head used to be and then relaxing you to lay in her lap, “How are you feeling? Do you need ice?”
“The same as the last twenty times in the past half hour, I’m fine, Leah.”
She ran her fingers through your hair, “I just worry about you, this is a big change and I want to make everything go as smoothly as possible for you.”
You smiled, “I appreciate it, seriously, but I am as okay as I can be right now. You’re being perfect I promise.”
“Just think of it as me repaying you for taking care of me while I was pregnant.”
You scoffed, “Oh, I was not this insufferable when I was taking care of you.”
This sent Leah into a spiral of explaining everything you used to do for her that annoyed her. Her rant lasted many minutes as it seemed like she had been waiting to tell you this ever since. The blonde went on and on explaining everything you used to do and how you hovered which only got worse overtime.
A few minutes into her rant you noticed the time, “Oh shit, don’t you need to go pick up Amelia? When’s school end?”
“I’m not leaving, my mum is grabbing her for me.”
You leaned to sit up as Leah pressed a hand against your back to help you. You swung your leg around, so you were sat next to her, “She’s going to hate me again isn’t she.”
Leah grabbed your hand, “She won’t hate you, just like she didn’t the first time. I can’t promise it won’t take some adjusting, but I can tell you she’s taken the news of you coming home a lot better than last time. She’s older now, she understands everything a bit better.”
“I just can’t deal with her hating me again. It almost broke me the last time, seeing the look on her face every time I would walk into the room.”
She sighed, “I can’t say it’s going to be easy, and I bet it’ll be hard for her to see you like this, but it’ll be okay in the end.”
“She’s going to be scared to look at me, I mean look,” you motioned to your legs, one covered in cuts and bruises and the other missing.
The blonde rubbed circles on your hand, “It’ll be hard, but she’s a strong little girl. She’ll understand I don’t want you to worry. She’s been excited about you coming home, we’ve been talking about it.”
You raised an eyebrow, “She’s excited?”
Leah smiled, “Ever since I told her you were in the hospital, she’s been asking me about when you’d come home. She’s been waiting for this, so listen when I tell you she’ll be okay.”
Your conversation was interrupted by the front door opening, Leah squeezed your hand before jumping up. She walked towards the door to see a yelling blonde girl, “Mama!”
Leah caught her as she jumped into her arms, standing up and pressing a kiss to the side of her head, “I missed you sweetie, how was school?”
“It was good we colored and then I got to play football during break time!” you could hear the smile on the small girls face as she spoke, them not far enough into the house to see you.
You reached for your crutches and used them to slowly get yourself to your feet. You took one step on them when Leah heard the noise and whipped her head around, “Sit back down we’ll come to you.”
She had a stern look on her face, but you shook your head as you crutched towards her and the small girl, “I’m okay Le,” you saw your daughter’s head peak over her mother’s shoulder meeting your eyes, “Hi, baby girl.”
Leah gently placed her back on the ground before whispering to her, “Remember what we talked about, being gentle with Mummy.”
You had stopped a few meters behind your wife, as the small girl slowly walked over to you, “I missed you, lovie,” you smiled down at her.
“I missed you too, Mummy,” She hugged you, on the side of your good leg, and you saw Leah winced, about to talk, but you shook her head telling her it was okay.
“Should we move to the couch so I can give you a proper cuddle?” She nodded and followed close behind as you crutched to the couch.
You sat by the arm and Amelia quickly climbed up to cuddle into your side, you wrapped an arm around her pulling her closer to your side. Leah hovered nearby and moved to sit down on the chair nearby.
“How was your work trip, Mummy?”
You and Leah both let out a soft laugh, “It was good at the beginning, I was hanging out with my friends all day,” Leah sighed, knowing this wasn’t the truth, “But I know Mama told you I got hurt at the end. I can explain it to you when you’re a little older.”
“Mama said the doctors had to take your leg. Why would they do that? That’s mean.”
You sighed, “You know what a car wreck is, right baby?” the small girl nodded, “Well, me and my friends were in a bad one and it hurt my leg very badly. My left was so bad that I couldn’t keep it anymore, it would’ve made me worse.”
She looked at you confused, “But now you can’t walk anymore or play with me and Mama in the garden.”
Your heart broke hearing your daughter speak. Your whole life would change now, and it was really setting in on how it was going to change. You knew that there were prosthetics, but nothing would give you back what you had before. Even with the advancements no prosthetic would be the same as having a leg.
Leah could see the tears starting to form and your eyes and took over the conversation, “Well, some special doctors are going to give your Mummy a robot leg once her leg is healed a little more. So, in a few months she’ll be able to walk again and even play with us in the garden.”
Her eyes lit up as she sat up and looked to you, “Really?”
There was a small crack in your voice as you looked to her, “Yep, they’re going to give me one and it’ll help me walk again. It will take a while until I’m ready for it, and then after that it will take a little while to get used to wearing it.”
She seemed to take this answer, “Does that mean you’ll be part robot?”
You laughed and ran a hand through her blonde hair, “I guess it does, I’ll be part robot.” 
She cuddled back into your side one arm wrapped around your waist. You leaned down to place a kiss against her hair and then looked over to see Leah watching you lovingly. You motioned for her to come over and she took a spot on the other side of your daughter wrapping her arm around the both of you. 
This was everything you missed and thought about while you were away. Having both of your girls back with you. You spent so many nights missing them and rotting with guilt over losing the both of them, but now you were here with your life put back together and in the arms of both of your girls.
You would have to adjust to this new life of injury, but you knew with these two you would get through it. They would be your motivation, getting back to your best would be for them, and they would be by your side every step of the way.
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sakur4ii · 3 months ago
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Rooted Connections Pt.2
Charles Xavier x Reader x Erik Lensherr
the gender of the reader is not specified
Note: I will not make a third part, I hope you like it. Also reminder that English is not my first language, let me know if there are any mistakes I didn't notice (especially with pronouns).
Summary: feelings come out, plants love romance and you are still as blind as in the first part.
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Finally, peace.
After supposedly saving the future from great chaos, Charles decided to reopen the doors of his school, offering you to stay with him. You accepted because you didn't want to leave him alone, feeling his sadness through the earth. Although in reality, he wasn’t alone; he now had his students, but the connection the three of you had created was so strong that you feared that if you also left, he would break again.
Years have passed, and now the school is full, and you are a teacher.
You walk through the halls, searching for something, maybe someone, though you’re not sure. The mansion’s plants have warned you but haven’t specified anything, so you proceed cautiously, trying to find some intruder.
"Professor Y/N,” you hear, a voice you know well.
“What is it, Jean?” You turn around; you can’t see her clearly, but you can feel her nerves and hear her heart beating faster than usual.
“Someone is approaching from the backyard.”
Before she finishes speaking, you are already running to the backyard. The plants don’t want to reveal anything, and for some reason, you don’t feel any unusual presence, leading you to assume that the earth doesn’t want you to know who the intruder is on purpose.
Once your bare feet touch the green, damp grass, you stop feeling the presence of everyone at the school except for the person sitting on the grass a few feet away from you, and Charles, who is coming up behind you.
You take slow steps toward the seated person, hearing a gasp behind you. You sit down next to him and wait for Charles to come closer until he is on the other side of the man.
“What are you doing here, Erik?” Charles asks. You can feel his conflicting emotions through his voice. On one hand, he is happy to see him again and that it isn’t to stop him from killing all of humanity and condemning mutants. On the other hand, he’d love to punch him again for prioritizing revenge and abandoning him.
But you focus more on the absolute pain you feel from Erik through the earth. You can feel him mourning, yet also very angry, seeking comfort to avoid vengeance.
When Charles doesn’t receive any response, and you can assume he also starts to feel the man’s emotions, you wrap your arm around Erik’s shoulders, pulling him into a side hug, enough for him to start crying.
“I tried,” he sobs into your neck, while Charles sits on the ground, leaving the chair aside and firmly holding Erik’s hand between his own. “I tried to live like them, to blend in, and they… they killed my wife and daughter.”
You don’t know what to say; you don’t know how to comfort him with words, so you just rub his back. You know Charles is afraid of saying something wrong, something that will only make the situation worse, so both of you remain silent, comforting your old friend (and the third missing piece of the puzzle) through gentle touches.
“I didn’t know where else to go… you’re all I have left.”
-------------------------------------------------------
You weren’t born blind; you had the privilege of seeing the color of the sky and vegetation. You had the privilege of having a favorite color, but an accident occurred, and it was no longer worth thinking about things like a favorite book or a favorite flower because you couldn’t see anything anymore.
Plants are very talkative; they always have been. They love to gossip, and they love drama. The day before the accident, they were very hysterical, sensing something bad was coming, but they couldn’t say what.
Then the accident happened, and you were hospitalized. The plants felt guilty, apologizing over and over, even the plants you didn’t know but who knew you, apologizing and feeling ashamed that they hadn’t been useful, that they couldn’t prevent the tragedy.
It was when you lost your sight that your powers began to manifest: control of the earth, the ability to feel through it. Your mentors were the plants, the trees, and the earth itself. You learned that you could see through the roots of trees, and that was an easy way to find something or someone.
When you met Charles, even before the man arrived at your house, the plants were more talkative than usual. They told you everything they knew, like how Logan was from the future and needed help, your help. But they mostly talked about Professor X and a puzzle. You couldn’t understand them, but their excitement amused you.
When they freed Erik from that cell, the plants began talking non-stop again, once more about a supposed puzzle and Erik’s entire life, about how angry they were with some of his actions but how much they appreciated him.
The first time they fell completely silent was when Erik shot Raven; the second was when Erik fled to avoid being captured.
The third time you didn’t understand the silence; you were listening to Charles reading to his younger students, and out of nowhere, the plants fell silent, a mourning silence.
And the fourth time was the day after the third when Erik appeared unannounced at the school. Although it was more for drama—did I mention they are dramatic?
Erik stayed at the school, purposely obtaining the room that was between yours and Charles’.
If before the plants always talked about Charles, Erik, and his family and the children at school, now, whenever you entered your room, they only talked about Charles and Erik. You only heard about the children if you went outside.
A couple of years have passed. Erik is visibly better, happier, and that makes you happy because it’s real, he’s not pretending, and you’re the first to know that.
-------------------------------------------------------
Your room is a madhouse; you feel like you’re losing your sanity. They won’t stop talking about how handsome, intelligent, and kind Charles is, or how hot, serious, and cunning Erik is. They have the audacity to tease you for not being able to see them, those bitches. When did they go from remorse to mockery?
“What time is it?” you ask, tired, sitting on the edge of your bed while putting on your sunglasses. They all ignore you, except for some jasmine flowers Charles gave you for your birthday along with some heart-shaped sunglasses.
You leave the room, grateful for the silence the hallway plants give you. You don’t know what to do; maybe you’ll go to the kitchen and eat some ice cream, you’re not sure.
When you arrive at the kitchen and take out a tub of ice cream and a spoon, you’re surprised that no plant has told you not to eat something so cold in the middle of the night, raising your suspicions.
You focus on the earth, sensing how all the children and adults are sleeping, everyone except Xavier and Lensherr, which makes you sigh tiredly.
Lately, the plants not only wouldn’t stop talking about them, but they also did everything possible to ensure you spent most of your time in the same room with them, and you only complied because deep down, you wanted that too.
You finish the ice cream and walk through the halls to Charles’ office, without any obstacles in the way (the children make sure not to leave anything lying around that might hinder you, even though they know you could easily avoid it; they fear you might get distracted and have an accident).
—“Come in”— you hear in your head, making you jump in place, and some nearby flowers laugh.
You open the door, and for some reason, they’re both sitting on a three-seater couch. Charles’ wheelchair is set aside to not get in the way, and the plants laugh conspiratorially.
«Speak of the devil…» a flower murmurs, sparking your curiosity.
“Can’t sleep?” Xavier asks. You shake your head. The other man is silent; you know he’s watching you, his intense gaze on you. Sometimes you think he has the power to read souls and keeps it a secret.
Charles laughs at your thought, but you don’t notice him elbowing Erik to stop being so obvious.
“Come sit with us, darling.”
The flowers and plants in the room react as if the pet name was directed at them, as if expressing what you don’t dare express even in your own head for fear the telepath might discover your feelings.
Smiling, you approach the couch. Erik, the closest to you, takes your hand and guides you to sit between them.
“What were you talking about?” you ask.
“Nothing important; we were just planning to take the older kids on a field trip, maybe,” Charles responds, and you know he’s not lying, but from the booing of the plants, you can tell that wasn’t what they were discussing before you arrived.
Erik remains silent; you can’t figure out why. Lately, you can’t sense his feelings, only his emotions, and you can guess that the earth is hiding them on purpose—or maybe the metal?
What you do sense is his knee brushing against yours and his gaze trying not to linger on you for too long.
You tilt your head to one side, sharpening your hearing, trying to pick up something more; you don’t know what, but you want to hear all their movements and, above all, the beating of their hearts.
Just when you perfectly hear their rapid heartbeats, the plants start making a ruckus, making you frown.
“What’s wrong?” Erik finally speaks.
“Why don’t the plants want me to hear your heartbeats?”
Unbeknownst to you, Erik and Charles share a wide-eyed look of complicity.
—“We should tell her”— Erik.
—“Now?”— Charles.
The silence between the two men creates a lump in your throat. Since that day on the plane, you felt like you were missing something in the dynamic, all because you couldn’t see. You felt out of place in moments like these, where they might be communicating with just a glance—or worse, telepathically. You hated the thought that they were having secret conversations, thinking that they were using the fact that you couldn't see to communicate in secret. And you hated knowing they were communicating because you could feel the change in emotions through the ground, but what you hated even more was that now you couldn't even feel the emotions of the two men because nature decided to turn its back on you this time.
Tired, you get up from the couch.
"Sorry for interrupting your time alone, I'm going to bed."
You avoid the obstacles you can't feel now but know are there.
"Y/N, no, wait! It's not what you think, let me explain," Charles says, while Erik gets up and runs towards you, grabbing you so you won't escape (and without you knowing, preventing you from bumping into the closed door).
"Listen to them, listen to them, listen to them," the plants chant in unison as you squirm in his grip. The earth allows you to see through your feet again, finally letting you feel the emotions of the two men, which makes you stop struggling and fall into shock at what you're sensing.
"You two are in love," you whisper.
Erik leads you back to the couch and sits you down so that you're facing the telepath, while he hugs you from behind and hides his face in the crook of your neck. He's embarrassed.
Charles gently removes your sunglasses, and you can feel his emotions not just through the ground but also inside your head. He takes your hand in his.
"We’ve been debating whether or not to tell you; we didn't know how you'd react, darling."
"So much secrecy just to tell me you two are dating? I'm not homophobic if that's what you were worried about," you say with an amused smile.
You're sure both men are rolling their eyes.
«Don't be an idiot» a flower says.
"Shush."
Charles laughs while Erik raises an eyebrow in a questioning manner towards him, knowing he's missing something.
"We're not just dating, Y/N. We love you as much as we love each other, and we want you to be a part of what we have because you're the missing piece of the puzzle," says Charles.
"And we want you to be officially ours," adds Erik.
Their words take you by surprise, making your heart race a thousand miles an hour. You're sure you're blushing, and loose words echo in your head.
The missing piece of the puzzle... ha... that sounds familiar.
At some point during the evening, you moved to Erik's room (the one furthest from the other rooms, with only one flower that you gave him a long time ago), where you shared kisses, hugs, words, and feelings. Where you expressed the great love you share, making grand plans for the future. And where you realized that you never were out of place; rather, you had always been missing, so they could feel complete.
The End.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
@djlnkaled @kindlover @only-nope @larissa1379 👋❤️
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droaxa · 4 months ago
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awe yandere nerd is so cute!! i wonder how someone who acts oppositely to them would act as a yandere.
-🎀 anon
ooh you’re so right 🎀 anon, a yandere jock or popular kid would be interesting.. so here u are!
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✧ yandere jock x reader
yandere jock who is one of the most popular guys at your university, everyone knows him. he plays basketball and is so charming that girls (and guys!) can't help but want to be around him, his handsome features totally help too.
yandere jock who you'd had some classes with in your freshman year. however, you hadn't seen him after that and forgot about him. but he couldn't forget about you
yandere jock who actually didn’t like you when he first met you, he thought you were too much of a doormat. he assumed off your quiet nature and antisocial tendencies that you couldn’t stand up for yourself or make your own decisions. and boy was he wrong
yandere jock who stumbles into you after class, well not really cause you hadn’t seen him yet. he watches a girl say somthing and shove you by your shoulder and he mentally scoffs ‘she gets bullied too? we’re in university i thought she’d grow a backbone by now’
yandere jock who is flabbergasted when you punch the girl straight in her face, she stumbles back, shocked, and curses you before running out the door and past yandere jock
yandere jock who is intrigued by your personality, so this is who you actually were. he tries to get closer to you: sitting beside you in lectures, talking to you after class, but just seem to hate him. often shutting down interactions or using the excuse that you’re busy to get away.
yandere jock who is frustrated but still dedicated, atleast until that semester ended. he’s annoyed because he never sees you anymore, and now that you didn’t have a shared class it’s even harder to catch you.
yandere jock who has you on his mind for the next two years, trying to make conversation with you whenever you saw he saw you. but the confused expression on your face said it all, your forgotten who he was.
yandere jock who’s fucking pissed, he spent two years thinking about you and you don’t even remember who he is? he makes it his life goal to make himself relevant to you. even if his ways were a bit.. unorthodox.
yandere jock who starts to pick on you, pushing you in the halls and spreading rumors about you. you’re confused, what did you even do to him? when you ask him, he just responds with “do i need a reason to?” with a tight grin.
quiet you who is now pissed. who did he think he was? a fucking gift from god that could do anything he wanted? you responds back with shoulder checking him in the hallways and pretending that he was bullying you and other students to the professors (well he kind of was wasn’t he?).
yandere jock who is mildly surprised, wow he knew you could fight back but this was different. he was flustered, you put all this effort into him?
yandere jock who retaliates with something a bit more extreme than you would’ve anticipated, he manages to convince one of the teachers that you cheated on a important test. the end of the year exam.
quiet you who is frustrated and angry, you’d worked your ass off to get that 95% and now he does this? oh it’s over for him
yandere jock who gets expelled from the university a week later. the reason? illegal drugs were found in his sports locker, not only was this against the school code but it put the basketball team at risk.
quiet you who pretends to not know anything, smirking as you get back into your study grind
yandere jock who decides that you need to be taught a lesson, although he’s not allowed on campus anymore, the girls dorms are in the edge of campus.
you wake up in the dark, what time was it? oh, just 2 am. you try to go back to sleep and hear some fabric rustling and you freeze. in the moonlit darkness of your room you can vaguely make out a shadowy figure at the foot of your bed.
your eyes widen and before you can scream or react, the figure leaps up and slams a rough hand over your mouth while keeping your body down with his own weight.
just as he leans over you, you make out his face as the moonlights from your window hits it. a strong face with messy hair you’d seen many times before. you didn’t think you’d see him again.
he grins manically, “you thought you could mess with me, forget about me and get away with it?” his voice breathy, like he was about to break into laughter at any moment.
you shake your head desperately no, tears form in your eyes as you register what’s going to happen to you.
he pressed you deeper into your pillow, your tears now running down your face and his hand. he then leans down to lick your salty tears off his hands and then your soft cheeks.
“fuck, i’ll make you understand why you shouldn’t forget about me”
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pleasantlycrazyworld · 9 days ago
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Summary: Worst! Logan thinking you're dating Wade and is pining for you. Only for Wade to say that he's been spending hours telling YOU everything about LOGAN so you can ask him out.
A/N: Reader is mentioned as she a few times but mostly is referred to as sweet cheeks. Logan is insecure and gets too in his head. This is left on a cliff hanger sort of so lmk if you'd like a part two! This was requested; thank you @squishyfruitloop for the idea I hope you like it <3
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You were there the first night he moved into the apartment. You welcomed him along with Al and he just thought you were the most beautiful person he'd ever seen. He wanted to know more about you and it was easy to fall more in love with you with the more he learned about you.
You seemed to always be around, not that Logan was complaining. He would come home from work, and you were there making dinner, he would wake up and you were there making a pot of coffee or standing at the kitchen counter trying to finish a last-minute work project. You were just always there.
At first, he thought it was just him assuming things, he knew that you and Wade had been friends for a few years now and that you two were close. You helped him become Deadpool, you helped him with the breakup with Vanessa, you just always helped so of course he understood why Wade would want you around. However, you started emerging from Wade's bedroom in the morning wearing his shirt or pajama pants. The two of you started whispering amongst each other and just seemed to be closer than before, so obviously he figured you and Wade had started seeing one another.
He was really hurt by this realization; he started to really fall for you and was wanting to ask you out, but he kept talking himself out of asking you. He was more hurt by Wade; he had confided in him about his feelings towards you and when Logan asked Wade what he should do Wade continued to reassure him that asking you out would be a great idea. 
Logan sent Wade glares all day trying to figure out what the hell was going on. It’s not like Wade didn’t deserve someone like you, but he was so ensuring that you felt the same as Logan. Wade deserved someone as sweet as you, but you were Logan's in his mind. He called dibs and Wade knew that. Now he’s dating her... What the fuck kind of friend does that? Logan shook his head; maybe it was a misunderstanding. It had to be that. Right? 
Tonight was movie night and Logan was excited to see you, he was hoping to get you alone for a moment and to finally talk things out. He had a strong feeling that the whole you dating Wade idea was a misunderstanding but the voice in the back of his head wouldn’t stop nagging him until he had the confirmation. Logan was sitting next to you on the couch and before he could say anything to you Wade plopped himself right next to you and showed you the movie he picked for the night. Apparently, it was your favorite. You squealed with excitement and gave Wade a hug, thanking him for finding the movie you’d been wanting to rewatch. Logan could feel himself deflate and curl into himself, maybe it wasn’t a misunderstanding. Maybe you actually did like Wade and Wade was just an asshole who wanted to fuck with Logan’s emotions. 
He wanted to leave movie night so bad; it felt like he wasn’t welcomed anymore, and he wasn’t paying any attention to the actual movie. He could feel his hands starting to shake and his ears were buzzing from trying to hold back from lashing out at Wade. His chest was getting tighter and tighter as he could hear himself scream in his head. As soon as the movie was over, he ran to his room trying to breathe again. Sitting next to you was his favorite thing in the world, having you close gave him the ability to smell your shampoo and body wash, it gave him the ability to feel grounded but now it felt like he was being suffocated. 
You watched as Logan ran from the living room to the spare room that he calls home now. You felt your heart break and your eyes started to sting as you blinked back tears. “Did we do something?” You asked Wade meekly and the merc felt growing frustration with his friend. “You didn’t do anything sweet cheeks. How about you head home, it’s getting late, and you know how everyone who lives here needs their beauty sleep” You giggled and nodded before getting up to collect your things. 
Wade waited for you to leave before he confronted his lovely roommate. 
“What the fuck was that Wolvie? Now she thinks she did something when you’re just a moron!” Wade huffed and got even more angry when Logan rolled his eyes, “Are you going through puberty? Is that the issue? Too much angst bottling up in you that you just can’t communicate anymore because then I think by law, I need to enroll you in high school or something.” 
“Oh, go fuck yourself I mean really do you ever shut up?” Logan muttered not wanting to look Wade in the eyes. Wade shook his head dramatically, “Nope, never it’s a disease. But I definitely won’t shut up when you hurt sweet cheeks feelings. What’s the deal? I thought you liked her?” Logan’s eyes snapped to Wade, and his anger finally boiled over. 
“Yeah, I do like her! You know this and you still get with her? What kind of shit are you playing at? Do you just get off on fucking with emotions” Logan lashed out, yelling at Wade.
Wade’s faces scrunches with confusion, “Get with her? I’m not with sweet cheeks metal man! I’ve been trying to convince her that you love her! I've been telling her all the stupid little facts about you! How do you think she knows how you like your coffee, or how you always are missing socks, she thinks you're this amazing man, and I finally had her believing that you loved her too when you wanted to act like a pre-teen! Now she’s home probably crying over the fact that you seem to hate her and can’t even be in the same room as her!” Wade groans loudly after his rant “Oh my god do I have to do everything in this universe!!” He sighed, calming himself and looked at Logan, “You are going to her apartment and apologizing and admitting your feelings for her. Then maybe you finally get fucked and I can meet the happy version of you too.” With that Wade left Logan alone to think and to get himself a beer.
Logan was left standing in his room with wide eyes. Wade was trying to convince you that he loves you…why would you need the convincing? Obviously Logan knew that he needed convincing, like look at him? Hundreds of years older than you, from a whole different universe than you, full of a dark past and trauma…but you loved him too? Or at least you did before he threw a hissy fit tonight. 
FUCK! Logan yelled out when he realized that he had to go fix this now! 
Part two
Tagging:
@userchai
@mahi-tamashi
@100percentlazybonez
@lanassmarty
@western-pyro
@misscrissfemmefatale
@marit332
@navs-bhat
@fluffy-b33z
@chaimshelii
@aoi-targaryen
@eyes-ofhell
@sad0ni0n
@fries11
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cherubcameron · 2 months ago
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I only have eyes for you
18+mdni
Authors note: this is part 2 to Rafe staring at reader.
You tried to rationalize him staring at you. Especially that intensely. Maybe he was zoning out. You decided to chalk it up as that. To not think so hard on it.
Until he did it more times than one. His eyes moved any direction you did.
You felt your niece tuck at the bottom of your dress. You looked down at her as she stared up at you. She gesticulated for you to come closer, so you bend on your knees to hear what she had to say.
“Why is that guy staring at you?” She whispered into your ear. So you weren’t the only one who saw that. “He’s creepy.”
You don’t know how you caught the attention of Rafe Cameron. You never would have assumed you were even on his radar. You always had your nose in a book. There wasn’t anything you thought made anyone think you were interesting. Which you took offense too because you felt like you were actually more interesting than people would think. But you knew you couldn’t control how people felt about you. So you just ignored it.
But Rafe Cameron? That was weird and didn’t make any sense to you.
“Don’t worry about it. He’s probably just zoning out.” But even your niece wasn’t convinced.
A few more instances of this occurred, and you were confused. You didn’t understand why he was staring so much. You tried to ignore it but finally, it was like he knew you were frustrated. He had finally decided to approach you.
“Hey, I’m Rafe Cameron. But you probably know that already.” He said smugly.
“Yes, Rafe. I know who you are. You’re all any girl can talks bout.” You say, annoyed. He smiles at you, his gaze drinking you in from head to toe. It’s silent as he does so, you can’t exactly hide from him. Your crop top and low rise denim shorts, didn’t really leave much to the imagination.
“So, how come I didn’t see you until midsummers?”
“We just moved here. Like two months back. Wasn’t really in the mood to go into the heat when the ac did me just fine.” He smiles at you, his hands finding yours. Rubbing his thumb on your skin.
“A pretty girl like you coop up in her room for two months. Must have been boring.” A blush appears on your face, betraying you. “You don’t have to worry about being bored anymore.”
His dick was deep inside of you, your hands on the sides of his face. You watched as he disappeared into you and out again.
“Fuck, this pussy.” He says, he’s bending your legs back for easier access. His hands on your thighs. “I couldn’t wait to get my hands on you.” He grunted.
“Fuck, Rafe. I-“
“Yeah, yeah. You love my dick huh? Can’t even speak.” His thrusts speeds up, more violent as he does so.
“Mhm. I love your dick.” You breathe out. He lets go of your legs, allowing you to wrap your legs around his waist. He cups your face, bringing your face up to stare at him. “Pretty girl. So fucking pretty. Look at you, the way I’m destroying you. You’re mine. Never letting anyone take you now.”
The lewd noises of him thrusting in you fills the room. You can’t even think, but a part of you is conscious enough to think “did I just make a mistake?”
Taglist
@sublimepenguinpeach-blog @queenvane64 @modesttiger
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httpsdana · 2 months ago
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You could do one with Cubarsi where he gets stressed and is rude to the reader, but then regrets it and makes up with him and becomes the sweetest and kindest.
Breaking The Silence~Pau Cubarsi
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*Pictures are from Pinterest*
i hope you enjoy this one. a bit long
request from here
master list
players/drivers i write for
The first sign that something was wrong was the way Pau slammed the door when he came home. y/n had never seen him like this before. Usually, his greetings were warm, his smile easy, but tonight, his eyes were dark and his expression hard.
“Hey,” y/n said cautiously, watching him as he tossed his bag onto the couch with more force than necessary. “Everything alright?”
He didn’t even look at her. “Just leave me alone.” he mumbled
The words stung. y/n had planned a quiet evening together, maybe a movie and takeout to help him unwind after what she assumed was a tough day. But the sharpness in his tone made her hesitate.
“Okay,” she replied softly, trying to mask the hurt in her voice. “If you need to talk, I’m here.”
He didn’t respond, his back still turned to her as he walked into the kitchen. y/n stood there for a moment, unsure of what to do. This wasn’t like Pau at all. She knew he was under a lot of stress, but he had never been this distant, this… cold.
Deciding to give him space, she retreated to the living room, sinking into the couch and trying to focus on something, anything, other than the growing knot of worry in her stomach.
She turned on the TV, flipping through channels without really paying attention to what was on. Her mind kept drifting back to Pau, to the way his shoulders had been tense, the way he didn’t even glance in her direction.
She tried to brush it off, telling herself that he just needed some time to cool down. But as the minutes ticked by, the silence in the apartment became almost suffocating. y/n could hear him moving around in the kitchen, the clatter of dishes and the sound of the fridge door opening and closing. He was making dinner, but there was no usual banter, no easy conversation as they often had.
After a while, y/n couldn’t take it anymore. She needed to know what was going on.
She stood up and made her way to the kitchen, where Pau was standing at the stove, stirring something in a pot. He didn’t acknowledge her when she walked in, his focus entirely on the task at hand.
“Pau,” she began cautiously, leaning against the counter. “What’s going on? You’ve been really quiet since you got home.”
He didn’t answer right away, his jaw clenched as he continued to stir. When he finally spoke, his voice was low and tense. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
She frowned, concern mixing with frustration. “But you’re obviously upset. If something’s bothering you, we should talk about it.”
“I said I don’t want to talk about it,” he snapped, his tone sharper than before.
The harshness in his voice caught her off guard, and for a moment, she didn’t know how to respond. She had never seen him like this, so closed off and angry. It was like there was a wall between them, one that hadn’t been there before.
“Pau, please,” she said, her voice softening. “I just want to help.”
He turned to her then, his eyes flashing with something she couldn’t quite point out. “Help? You want to help?” His voice was rising, filled with frustration. “You can’t help, okay? You don’t understand what I’m dealing with right now. Just stop trying to fix everything!”
His words were like a slap to the face. She had always been there for him, supporting him through everything, and to hear him dismiss her concern so harshly… it hurt. She felt her throat tighten, and her vision blurred slightly as tears threatened to spill over.
But instead of letting him see how much his words affected her, she swallowed down the hurt and nodded stiffly. “Fine,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “If that’s what you want.”
She turned on her heel and walked out of the kitchen, her heart pounding in her chest. She couldn’t believe how quickly things had escalated, how quickly he had pushed her away. It wasn’t like Pau at all, and that scared you more than anything.
Back in the living room, y/n sat down on the couch, her mind racing. She didn’t know what to do, how to fix this. Part of her wanted to go back in there and force him to talk, to make him see how much he was hurting her, but another part of her was too tired, too worn down by his anger to try.
So, instead, she decided to do exactly what he asked: she left him alone.
y/n spent the next few hours in silence, the only sound in the apartment coming from the TV, which she wasn’t really watching. She tried to read, to distract herself with her phone, but nothing could pull her out of the pit of anxiety that had formed in her stomach. The longer the silence stretched on, the more her mind spiraled, wondering what she had done wrong, why he was acting this way.
Eventually, Pau came from the kitchen with two plates of food. He set one down in front of y/n on the coffee table without a word, then sat down on the other end of the couch with his own plate.
y/n glanced at the food, her appetite completely gone. But she didn’t want to make things worse by refusing to eat, so she picked up her fork and forced herself to take a few bites. The tension between them could be cut by a knife , and the silence was so thick they could almost choke on it.
After a few minutes, Pau sighed heavily, setting his plate down.
“I’m sorry,” he said, but there was a sharpness to his voice that made it clear he wasn’t ready to truly apologize. It felt more like an obligation than genuine apology.
She didn’t respond, just continued eating in silence. If he wanted space, she’d give it to him. If he wanted her to leave him alone, then she would. But that didn’t mean she was going to make it easy for him.
Pau glanced at her noticing her lack of response. His frustration flared again.
“Are you really going to do this? Give me the silent treatment now?” he huffed, rolling his eyes.
She still didn’t answer, though her hands tightened around her fork. She wasn’t going to let him bait her into another argument. She was too tired, too drained.
He huffed, running a hand through his hair. “Fine. Be like that. I’m going for a walk.”
He stood up abruptly, grabbing his keys from the table and heading for the door. He didn’t even look back as he left, the door slamming behind him with a force that made her flinch.
Once he was gone, the apartment felt quiet. y/n set her plate down, unable to eat another bite. The tears she had been holding back finally spilled over, and she buried her face in her hands, trying to stifle the sobs that wracked her body.
She couldn’t understand what had happened, how things had gone so wrong so quickly. She had always been able to talk things out with Pau, to work through whatever problems they faced together. But this time, it felt different. This time, it felt like he was slipping away from her, and she didn’t know how to stop it.
Time passed in a blur as she sat there, letting the silence of the apartment settle around her like a heavy blanket. She was exhausted, both physically and emotionally, and all she wanted was for things to go back to the way they were.
When Pau finally returned, it was late. She hadn’t moved from her spot on the couch, though the TV had long since been turned off. She heard the door open and close softly, followed by the sound of his footsteps as he walked through the apartment.
He hesitated in the doorway of the living room, his eyes taking in the sight of his girlfriend curled up on the couch, her face buried in her arms. He could see the dry tears on her cheeks, and it hit him like a punch to the gut.
“Hey,” he said softly, his voice different now, no longer sharp, but filled with regret.
She didn’t look up, didn’t acknowledge him at all.
Pau’s heart clenched, and he walked over to the couch, sitting down beside her. He reached out, placing a hand on her shoulder, but she pulled away from his touch.
The rejection stung, but he knew he deserved it. He had pushed her too far, and now he was facing the consequences.
“I’m sorry,” he said again, his voice breaking slightly. “I really am. I didn’t mean to take it out on you. I was just… I don’t know. I was overwhelmed, and I didn’t know how to handle it, and I lashed out. But that’s not an excuse for the way I treated you. You didn’t deserve that.”
She still didn’t say anything, but she could see the way her shoulders shook slightly, could hear the small, choked breaths she was trying to hide. His chest tightened with guilt, and he wished he could take back every harsh word, every moment of coldness.
“I’m an idiot,” he continued, his voice barely above a whisper. “I was so caught up in my own head that I didn’t see what I was doing to you. I was so caught up in my own head that I didn’t see what I was doing to you. I let my frustration and stress get the better of me, and instead of leaning on you like I should have, I pushed you away. That’s the last thing I wanted to do, and I’m sorry.”
He waited, hoping she’d say something, anything. But she remained silent, her back still turned to him. The silence was suffocating, and it made Pau’s heart ache even more. He deserved this, he knew that, but it didn’t make it any easier.
“Please,” he whispered, his voice cracking, “talk to me. Yell at me, scream at me, anything. Just…say something”
The room was filled with a heavy silence, and for a moment, Pau was terrified that she was going to walk away again. But then she finally spoke, her voice thick with emotion.
“You really hurt me, Pau,” she said quietly, still not turning to face him. “I was just trying to be there for you, and you made me feel like I was the problem. Like I wasn’t enough.”
Her words hit him like a train. He had never intended to make her feel that way, but he had done exactly that, and the realization cut deep.
“I know,” he said, his voice trembling. “And I’m so sorry. You are more than enough, more than I deserve, honestly. I don’t know what I’d do without you. I was stupid, and I took my anger out on you because I didn’t know how to deal with everything going on in my head. But that was wrong. I love you, and the last thing I want to do is make you feel like you’re not enough.” he said, his voice full of regret and guilt
y/n finally turned to face him, and the sight of the tears in her eyes made his heart break all over again. “Then why did you do it? Why did you push me away like that?”
Pau ran a hand through his hair, his expression pained. “I don’t know. I was overwhelmed, and I guess… I guess I didn’t want you to see me like that, struggling. I didn’t want to burden you with all the stuff going on in my head. But I realize now that was a mistake. I should’ve come to you instead of pushing you away. You’re the one person who’s always been there for me, and I hurt you. I’m so sorry.”
She stared at him for a long moment, searching his eyes for the truth in his words. He could see the hurt there, the pain he had caused her, and it made his chest tighten with guilt. He had never wanted to hurt her, but he had, and now he had to make things right.
“Can you forgive me?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. “I’ll do whatever it takes to make it up to you.”
There was a long pause, and Pau held his breath, waiting for her response. Then, finally, she nodded, though her eyes were still filled with hurt.
“I forgive you, but… it’s going to take time. I need to trust that you won’t push me away like that again.” she said, her voice low and thick from crying
He nodded, understanding. “I’ll prove it to you. I’ll show you every day how much you mean to me, how much I love you. I’ll never push you away again. I promise.”
For the first time since the argument, she allowed herself to lean into him, resting her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close, as if afraid she might slip away. The tension in the room began to ease, replaced by a sense of peace.
“I love you,” she whispered, her voice still shaky but filled with sincerity. “But please, don’t shut me out again. I want to help you, to be there for you, even when things get tough.”
Pau tightened his hold on her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “I won’t,” he promised. “I’ll talk to you, I’ll let you in. We’ll get through everything together, I swear.”
They both sat there in silence for a while, wrapped in each other’s arms, the weight of the argument slowly lifting.
Later that night, as they both lay in bed, Pau held her close, his arms wrapped tightly around her body. The air between them was no longer heavy with tension but filled with a quiet, fragile understanding.
As y/n drifted off to sleep, the last thing she heard was Pau whispering in her ear, his voice filled with affection and love, “I’m sorry. I love you so much.”
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spicycinnabun · 9 months ago
Text
pt. 1 2 3 4 6 7 💐
Eddie turned around, finding none other than the flower nazi. His nametag actually said Steve. 
He had a leaf stuck in his hair, and his nose was abnormally rosy. Going by that and his nasal tone, he clearly had a cold. He sneezed, then looked annoyed at himself for doing so. “Ugh, sorry,” he apologized. 
He was fucking adorable. It made Eddie smile. “Don’t be. I don’t really need help.” Not with flowers, anyway, just with everything else about his life. “I’m only browsing.” 
It was a weird response, he realized. A guy like him, who looked like he belonged anywhere else, loitering in a shop like this. Just browsing. Right. Steve probably thought he was a creep. 
Steve was surprised to hear that the man wasn’t looking for anything. Last time, he had bought something, so Steve had assumed he was a returning customer. He had been staring at the wedding arrangement, so maybe he was trying to figure out if Harrington Floral was the best place to get them from.
“That’s some talent you’ve got,” Eddie added, pointing to the display.
Steve felt himself flush. “Thanks,” he said softly, ducking his head bashfully. It wasn’t usually guys who were doling out compliments on the displays. Typically, they just asked for his advice on what they should buy for their significant others.
The redness that bloomed on Steve’s cheeks was just plain delightful. It could have been due to his illness, but Eddie was pretty sure it was a reaction to his compliment. His smile widened. “You made it, right?”
“Yes, I did. I make all the displays.” Steve ran a hand through his hair, missing the leaf by a mere centimeter. “I think I saw you last month when I was building one in the window over there. Are you sure you’re not interested in anything?”
Instead of answering, Eddie reached out and plucked the leaf out of Steve’s hair. “Sorry, you had a little bud-dy trying to catch a ride there. Was distracting the hell out of me.” Eddie showed him the small, curvy leaf. 
Steve laughed, which made him cough a little. After clearing his throat, he got back to business. Steve was all about closing a sale, so he pushed a little. “Are you or someone you know getting married? I can, uh…” he thought quickly, “give you a free bouquet as a testimony to how well our flowers will hold up. I was just pruning the roses before you came in. What do you think about a bouquet of them?”
Steve remembered Eddie. And he’d laughed at Eddie’s horrible pun. But Eddie was caught off guard by the questions and the offering. Steve was observant. “I can’t let you do that,” he said. “My uncle is getting married. Hopefully. He hasn’t popped the question yet.”
It would be kind of terrible of him to accept free flowers if it didn’t work out and they never ordered any.
“That’s exciting,” Steve responded.
Genuinely, he felt like it was. Steve loved love. Working in a flower shop would be hard if he was bitter about being single. Also, the fact that someone else around his age wasn’t getting married made him feel a bit better about his own love life. Lately, it seemed like all his friends were getting hitched.
Eddie twirled a piece of hair around his finger, contemplating. He pocketed the little leaf. “I’m meeting the bride-to-be tonight. I suppose making a nice first impression wouldn’t be a bad idea.” He could give the flowers to Wayne to present to Kathleen when she came over. “How much for half a dozen?”
That was probably all he could afford, but he would be paying.
Eddie wasn’t selling as much anymore. Just weed, no powders or pills. Not since he’d discovered that one of his regulars had recently overdosed on Molly. He was at least partially responsible for that. He should have questioned the steadily increasing amount the guy was buying, but he had only been thinking about the money.
“Wouldn’t be a bad idea at all.” Steve had no intention of taking any money for the bouquet. 
He walked around the store and started building it. Steve picked out four roses in red and pink, then added two pastel-dyed Asiatic lilies and sprinkled in a few strands of baby’s breath.
When he was finished, he went to the counter to put them down. He grabbed the twine and unrolled some tissue paper. “I’m sure there won’t be any more customers tonight. I’m kind of in charge, so I can totally give you these for free. Because I want to.”
Eddie pressed his lips together briefly, walking over and planting his forearms on the counter. He wasn’t some charity case. He didn’t like having debts, either. Maybe Steve had seen the type of clothes he wore and automatically assumed Eddie was trailer park trash who couldn’t afford it.
But Steve was smiling at him, looking sweet as a goddamn sugar cookie, and Eddie relaxed, rejecting the thought. That just didn’t seem right.
(Though why Steve wanted to give anyone, let alone Eddie, free flowers was a mystery.)
“You’re the boss, huh?” Eddie said. Steve looked young to own the shop, but maybe he was one of the Harringtons.
The name rang a bell. Steve Harrington. Dustin used to talk about a Steve during D&D. Gushed more than talked, really. Was he the same one?
“Technically, it’s my mom’s shop, but I’ve been running it for a while now,” Steve said. He couldn’t take all the credit.
Eddie gently drummed the counter, rings click-clacking as he watched those nimble fingers cut, tie, and wrap. His mom’s store. Well, wasn’t that precious.
Steve gave the bouquet one last critical look and a fluff with his fingers before handing it over. “With these, I think you’ll make the best impression. Maybe your uncle will even pop the question tonight!” Steve was excited for the groom to be even though he didn’t know him.
Eddie accepted the bouquet and looked down at it. “Thank you. It’s stunning.” Kind of like you.
He didn’t say that last part out loud, though he thought it hard enough that he’d probably projected it into Steve’s head.
Steve felt his face heat again. He didn’t know why he was reacting this way to the compliments. When women complimented his arrangements, he barely blinked.
Eddie brought the bouquet to his nose to smell its perfume. It brought another smile to his face before he lowered it. If Kathleen didn’t end up liking them, she was crazy.
Steve watched Eddie, grinning. “I’m Steve, by the way.”
Eddie’s gaze flickered up. He lowered the bouquet. Why were they both smiling like fucking idiots? “Eddie.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Eddie. Let me get you a card—you know, in case your uncle does propose and will need flowers from somewhere.” Steve grabbed one of the embellished business cards from the stack beside the register.  
Eddie reached out to take it, and Steve sneezed again just as their fingers brushed. It was a big sneeze that made his face screw up and nearly blew him backward. Luckily, he managed to cover his nose before he bombed Eddie. Eddie tried not to laugh at his irritated expression and soft whine as he sniffled.
Eddie pocketed the card and tugged his handkerchief out at the same time. “Here,” he offered kindly, holding it out to Steve.
It was his favorite hanky, his pirate one with the skull and bones, but it was the least he could do. 
Without thinking much about it, Steve took it and blew his nose. He let out a soft sigh, feeling a little better. Then he realized what he’d done. “Sorry…this is kinda gross now. Do you want it back?” 
“Oh no—no, that’s yours now,” Eddie said hastily. “I insist. Consider it a token of my gratitude.” He lowered himself in a teasing bow. “Farewell, Steve, fine sir.”
So, so fine. Even with all the snot.
Eddie backed out of the store, still bent over for extra theatricality. When he straightened up, Steve looked confused but was red in the cheeks again. Score.
On the ride home, Eddie almost missed a turn because he kept glancing at the bouquet.
🌷🪻🌻🌹
co-writing this with @batty4steddie 💕
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luxaofhesperides · 11 months ago
Note
Ghostlights cuddling for comfort, but also they're oblivious idiots who are pining over each other but thinks its unrequited
“Ugh,” Duke says, dropping down onto the bench besides Danny.
Danny nudges him with his shoulder. “Rough night?”
“Slept for like an hour,” Duke mutters, “This sucks. My head’s going to burst like balloon and my eyes are about to fall out.”
“Yikes. You know, you could have just canceled for today. I wouldn’t have minded.”
Duke sighs and presses the heel of his palms against his eyes. “Maybe, but I would have minded. We barely see each other anymore, man. I’ve missed you.”
“Oh.” Danny bites his lip, trying and failing to stop from smiling. Something soft in his chest glows at the words, a growing spark of happiness in knowing that for this, at least, the feeling is requited. It’s nice to hear that he was missed, and it would be even nicer if Duke wasn’t in pain, pushing himself just because he didn’t want to cancel. Carefully, Danny reaches for him and pulls his hands away from his face. “Here,” he says, “Let me.”
His hands are always cold. Most of him is cold, really — side effect of having an ice core. Sam told him once that his hands were better than an ice pack, and he’s hoping she’s right or this is going to be weird. 
Danny gently presses his fingers against Duke’s temples, his hands cradling Duke’s face. Duke is tense for a few seconds, then abruptly relaxes, leaning into Danny’s hands. 
“Is this helping?” he asks, voice hushed to keep from aggravating Duke’s migraine.
“Mhm. Yeah, it feels great. Thanks, Danny.”
Duke goes completely limp, leaning against Danny. They sit there for a minute in silence, the rest of the world feeling far away. As nice as it is to just exist together, he knows what Duke needs most right now is quiet and stillness. Gotham is very much not that, and every honking car that passes by makes Duke wince, trying to turn away from the road even more.
“Hey, let’s head back to my place. It’s close by, and a lot quieter than out here.”
“Are you sure? I know we planned to go to the arcade today…”
“The arcade can wait. You’re more important.”
Duke blinks open his eyes and looks at Danny with something soft in his gaze. Being so close together, barely any space between them, with Duke looking at him like that makes Danny’s cheeks flush red, unable to think anything but please kiss me.
Which is never going to happen. Duke is his friend, and just his friend, no matter how much Danny wishes they could be something more. It’s a pipe dream, something so impossible it’s almost laughable. 
Duke likes being friends with normal human Danny. He doesn’t want to imagine how he would react if he found out about Danny being half ghost, assuming this imaginary reveal happens without Danny being hunted down and cut open by GIW agents. 
He’s still in hiding, always waiting for the worst as he stays in the apartment his friends (living and dead) had set up for him. The building is for ghosts so it technically doesn’t exists, which means it’s the safest place for Danny while he’s actively being hunted by the US government. 
He can’t be honest with Duke. Can’t be as close to him as he wants to be. Duke deserves more than to be dragged into Danny’s problems and put in danger.
Even so, Danny can’t help but want him around, pushing his luck each time they hang out.
“Come on,” Danny urges, standing up. He pulls his hands away and Duke’s brow immediately furrows, his pain returning. “It’s only a few streets away.”
Duke sighs, then visibly braces himself before he stands up. Danny tucks himself into Duke’s side, taking as much of his weight as he can as he walks them down the street. It’s times like these that he wishes he could reveal his powers safely and just fly them to his apartment. But even without the GIW gunning for his head, showing off powers in Gotham is a sure fire way to get a target painted on his back.
“Almost there,” he says as they turn a corner. 
His apartment doesn’t have a fixed address. It doesn’t have a fixed location at all, drifting around, but it likes this street the most, so this is where it usually is. Danny takes them halfway down the street, then turns into an alley, following his ghost sense. 
Where there’s usually a dead end is instead a building, looking as if it’s always been tucked away in this alley. Danny keeps a tight grip on Duke as they climb the front steps, silently asking for the building to let him stay while he’s with Danny. The door opens easily, which is as good as an agreement, and they’re inside without anything going wrong. The small entrance lobby is empty, with an area for packages filled with clearly magical artifacts carelessly wrapped in bubble wrap. 
Danny drags them past that quickly, hoping Duke doesn’t notice, and calls the elevator down. It arrives silently, the doors opening to let another tenant out. Carefully, Danny positions himself in front of Duke, making sure he doesn’t see how the tenant, who nods at Danny, has a still bleeding wound in his stomach that has him nearly split in half. 
“Alright,” he says, ushering Duke into the elevator, “Just a little ride up and then you can lay down.” He hits the button for the fourth floor and they ride up in silence, Duke dropping his head down to onto Danny’s shoulder again, wrapping his arms around his waist as he stands behind Danny. He’s glad Duke can’t see his face; there’s no doubt that he’s blushing like crazy and if that doesn’t give away his feelings, he doesn’t know what will.
Thankfully the elevator ride isn’t long. If Danny had to go for more than a minute with Duke breathing softly against his neck, his warm hands on his stomach, Danny would have collapsed into a pile of flustered goo.
He opens the door to his apartment and kicks his shoes off. Duke follows in suit, still plastered onto Danny’s back, refusing to let go. 
“Come on,” Danny says, leading him to the couch, “Sit down and I’ll grad you some water and painkillers.”
Duke nods against his shoulder, then slowly detaches himself from Danny and makes his way to the couch. He drops onto it gracelessly, pressing his face into a cushion. 
Danny winces. He must be feeling really bad. He knows how bad migraines can be with sleep deprivation, having suffered through high school with only a few hours of sleep at night, if he got to sleep at all. Frankly, it’s a testament to Duke’s strength that he lasted the entire walk to Danny’s apartment without complaint. 
He returns to the living room with a full glass of water and a bottle of Advil, setting them on the coffee table to crouch next to the couch and place a cold hand on Duke’s cheek. “Hey,” he says softly when Duke turns to look at him, “Is Advil alright? It’s all I had.”
“Yeah, that’s fine. Thanks, Danny.”
Duke sits up and shakes out three pills, then washes them down with water. He drains the rest of the cup quickly, then falls back against the couch with his eyes squeezed shut.
“Is there anything else I can do to make you feel better?”
Duke immediately reaches a hand out for him.
“Um?”
“Sit next to me. I feel better when I’m next to you.”
“Oh! Alright. Bet you’re only saying that because my hands are cold.”
“You caught me,” Duke laughs, pulling Danny onto the couch. He goes easily, tucking his legs beneath himself, and places his hands on Duke’s temples again. “Man, I owe you my life.”
“I don’t think my cold hands are worth quite that much.”
Duke hums, but doesn’t say anything else, so Danny settles in and focuses on keeping his hands a little colder than normal. 
The apartment is quiet. No sound from outside can reach them, one of the few ways the building looks after its tenants. Danny and Duke fall against each other, at ease with each other. There’s no need to fill in the silence, and with Duke’s eyes closed, Danny doesn’t have to carefully shove down his feelings and act normal. He indulges in the warmth of Duke’s body pressed against his, a hand on his knee and an arm around his waist. 
He keeps his hands as steady as possible as he looks over Duke, adoring all the little details he can see; a small scar on his chin, the fullness of his lips, the way his hair falls into his face now that it’s long enough to keep in braids.
“I can practically hear you thinking,” Duke murmurs, “What’s on your mind?”
You’re cute, he thinks, I feel safe with you. I want to kiss you. I wish I could be brave enough to be honest.
I wish I was brave. I wish I was brave. I wish I was brave.
“Nothing,” he says. “Feeling better?”
“Yeah. I might fall asleep though.”
“That’s fine. You know I would never say no to a nap.”
“Come here, then,” Duke says, and before Danny can do anything, Duke gets a stronger grip on his waist and pulls Danny down on top of him as he falls back towards the arm rest and gets his legs on the couch.
“Duke!”
Duke laughs underneath him, and Danny can feel it roll through him. Okay! This is definitely something he’s going to think about… forever. Wow, he can feel Duke’s abs tense up as he laughs, and has he always been ripped? Unfair. Also unfairly hot. 
“Is this alright?” Duke asks, voice soft and quiet. There’s a hesitancy around his words that Danny doesn’t like hearing, and he brings his hands down to sweep his thumbs soothingly over Duke’s cheeks.
“Of course it is, man. I’d never refuse cuddles.”
“Okay. I’m gonna pass out now. Wake me in an hour?”
Danny moves his hands back up to his temples and says, “Sure. Get some rest, Duke. You really need it.”
He feels Duke relax beneath him, breaths slowing down as he begins to fall asleep. It’s peaceful and quiet and Duke is warm in a way Danny never can be with his ice core. He doesn’t mean to fall asleep, but curled up on the couch with Duke in the safety of an apartment that only barely exists has him drifting off in no time at all.
. . .
(Duke wakes up before Danny. Their legs are tangled together and Duke has moved during his sleep, turning so Danny is held tightly to his chest, his back to the cushions, while Duke is balancing very carefully at the edge of the couch. 
It’s been hours, and he should be heading home soon, but he stays as he is, enjoying this quiet moment for as long as he can have it. Danny is in his arms, safe and content with him, his head no longer hurts beyond a residual ache he can easily ignore, and he can admire how pretty Danny is without being worried about Danny catching his lingering stares. 
These moments are precious to him, rare as they are, and he wants nothing more than to kiss Danny once he’s awake and let his feelings be known.
But the Signal has lots of dangerous people after him, and Gnomon has started causing problems in Gotham again. So he’ll bite his tongue and keep his less platonic feelings buried under lock and key until it’s safe enough for Danny to be around him more often.
And when that time comes, he can only hope that Danny will feel the same way.
That’s all far away from the stillness of Danny’s apartment. All that matters is that he has Danny in his arms. Everything else can wait. 
For now, this is more than enough.)
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remember-that-one-blog · 6 months ago
Text
Waiting for You
A/N: This is a little shorter than I normally do, but it felt right. Enjoy, lovelies!
Rhys x reader
word count: 1.3k
Warnings: none
~
You woke drenched in sweat. The remnants of the nightmare lingered behind your eyelids. You couldn’t bring yourself to think of it. You saw a flash every time you blinked. You couldn’t shake the jitteriness you felt. You didn’t have to look at the clock to know sunrise was hours away. Throwing the covers off your body, you stood and tugged a robe on while you slid your slippers on. You made my way downstairs to the kitchen. There already at the table was Mor. She caught your eye as you made your way down the last few steps. 
“Couldn’t sleep?” You shook my head.
“You either?” She mirrored my earlier action. She slid a warm mug of tea toward you. She answered your question before you could ask. “I heard you tossing and turning. I figured you’d be down here soon.” She knew you better than you knew yourself sometimes. You couldn’t believe how lucky you got with her, with them. Your family.
“How are you holding up?” You raked a hand through your hair. You didn’t want to think about it. That’s what your nightmare was about.
“I’m barely holding on, Mor. It’s been weeks.” She nodded silently. It’s been months since any of us had heard from him. Your mate. “I don’t feel anything at the end of our bond either. I don’t know how he survived when I had to do that.”
“He was about like you. Barely hanging on, but he knew he had to put his people first. Just like you’re doing.” You took a deep breath. Being High Lady of the Night Court was everything you didn’t know you wanted. You loved it, loved your people, but dammit if you didn’t want to hide away until Rhys was back. Or we found him. You didn’t know what to do anymore.
“What happened that day? You were right with him.” You let out a breath as you contemplated your next words. How do you tell them you failed them? Failed your mate? It was quiet for so long Mor didn’t think you were going to answer.
“It was so quick.” She looked at you while you looked at the mug of tea between your hands. You thought back to that day. Your nightmare. “We were trying to contain that rogue. He was quick, not as quick as Rhys but quick enough to surprise us. Rhys lunged and then there was a flash and they were gone. I wasn’t quick enough.” You whispered the last part so quietly you weren't sure it even left your lips.
“Don’t you dare.” The tears in your eyes that threatened to spill stayed at bay, teetering on your lids. “You couldn’t have known, neither did he. You did everything you could and so did Rhys. He’ll come home.” You just nodded as the tears silently slid down your face. He had to come home.
~
It had been weeks since that night with Mor. You were still waking up to watching Rhys disappear. In your nightmare it was always the same. Every. Time. His end of your bond still felt silent. You couldn’t feel him or hear him. You missed him. You missed his smirk. You missed his smart ass comments. You missed his laugh. You miss it all. You missed all of him. You would send your thoughts down the bond even though you knew there wouldn’t be a reply. You would try. You would always try.
“Are you listening?” You startled as you saw Amren, Azriel, Cassian, and Mor looking at you. Amren was waiting for your reply.
“I wasn’t. I’m sorry.” Amren sighed.
“You know what, we can handle this. You go home, get some rest, girl.” Without another word to the others, you stood up making your way out of Amren’s apartment. 
~
Sighing you looked out at the Rainbow. You loved this place. You adored your home. It just didn’t feel like home without Rhys. You sighed as you let your mind wander. In those weeks he had been gone you hadn’t felt like yourself and you knew why. You had kept your scent concealed since you figured it out. The others just assumed it was because you hadn’t been yourself since Rhys disappeared, wanting to keep to yourself. Keep your sadness to yourself. It just didn’t feel right having them know when Rhys couldn’t. You made your way to the townhouse. Oh, how you wanted your mate back. 
You sighed as you entered the townhouse. You kicked your shoes off and hung your jacket up. You were so lost in your thoughts you didn’t notice the man sitting in the living area as you made your way toward the stairs.
“Seems to me you need to pay more attention to your surroundings, darling. Anyone could sneak right up on you.” You whipped your head around to see Rhys a little worse for wear sitting on the couch. You couldn’t decide what you wanted to do more, run to him or drop to your knees. The latter won as you sunk to the carpet unable to hold yourself up anymore. Rhys was instantly up and kneeling in front of you. You felt his hands cup your cheeks. You looked into those violet eyes of your mate.
“You’re alive.” His smile damn near broke you.
“I am. I had to come back to you, my love. I will always come back to you.” You held your mate’s face in your hands. He was here. He was in front of you. It wasn’t until this moment you could feel him on the other end of the bond. You felt him stroke the walls of your mind asking in. You immediately let him in. You felt him as he held you in every way he could.
“My darling, mate. I have missed you these weeks.”
“I’ve missed you. What happened? Where were you?” He sighed as he took you in. He was going to answer your question, but he wanted to look at his beautiful, beautiful mate first.
“Under the Mountain.” Your eyes widened. “It was some fae, who are now dead, and who figured out too late to never take the High Lord of the Night Court. They managed to put the wards back up that Amarantha had in place. No one will ever be able to do it again.That was why I couldn’t reach you, or you, me.” You stroked his cheeks with your thumbs. You hated those who took him back down there. That gods awful place. He was here, in your home. Right in front of you. He looked exhausted, you could feel it. You moved to stand, Rhys right behind you, moving his hands from your face to your waist. 
“Let’s get you washed up, my love. I know you’re exhausted.” The soft smile he gave you nearly broke your heart. 
“Always looking after me.”
“I always will.” You were so caught up in having him back, you didn’t realize you let your other guard down as well. You watched as Rhys’s brows furrowed. He took a deep breath trying to figure out what was different.
“Love, what-” That's when it hit him. His eyes nearly bugged out of his head. “Darling…” 
You smiled at the High Lord. He was speechless for once in his five hundred years. He looked down to your still flat stomach and then to your eyes for confirmation. You gave him a small smile and nodded. Tears sprang to your eyes and his. He let out a strangled laugh. He kneeled in front of you, placing a hand on either side of your belly. He placed a kiss right below your belly button. You couldn’t smile harder if you tried as the words left his mouth.
“Hello, little one, we’ve been waiting for you.”
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mellowsadistic · 7 months ago
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Couples Therapy - Part 1
After Angela cheats on her husband, she agrees to go to couples therapy with him, but each session with the therapist leaves her feeling less and less like a grown-up.
***
Angela tapped her foot impatiently while her husband spoke with the therapist privately, probably whining about how angry and betrayed he felt. They were both supposed to go in together in a moment, but for now she was stuck waiting in reception.
Really, she couldn’t understand why Eric was being so dramatic. It was only sex! It wasn’t as though she didn’t love him anymore. She just needed to have a little fun sometimes, that was all. They weren’t even thirty yet! He was twenty-eight and she was twenty-seven. Did he really expect her to settle down and stick to a single sexual partner when she was still so young?
But he’d insisted on seeing a marriage counsellor and she’d eventually agreed, albeit reluctantly. Their therapist was a man. How was he supposed to understand what it was like for a woman in her situation? And her first impressions of the office hadn’t been great either. The receptionist was a total bimbo!
Angela glanced over at her. She was dressed up like some bizarre fetish fantasy. Her long blonde hair was tied up in a pair of high pigtails, and her stripper-sized tits were crammed into a sparkly Disney princess top. Didn’t this place have a uniform? She looked like an overgrown six-year-old for goodness sake! And she’d been acting like one too when she’d tried to match their names to their booking. Her husband had been very patient with her stupid lisping voice and barely passable ability to read, but Angela had wanted to turn around and leave straight away. What kind of serious therapist’s office employed a woman like that?
At last the door opened, and the therapist stood in the doorway. He smiled kindly and gestured her to come inside.
“He’s weady for you now!” the bimbo receptionist chirped happily, looking up from what looked like a fashion magazine for tweens.
Angela rolled her eyes. “Thanks.”
She went into the office and the therapist closed the door behind her. Eric was lounged on a sofa facing a hard-backed wooden chair, looking perfectly relaxed. Angela sat down next to her husband, leaving a few inches of space in between them.
The therapist didn’t take a seat in the wooden chair, however. He took a tablet from his desk in the corner and stood in front of Angela.
“Here,” he said, handing it to her. She looked down at the screen in her lap in confusion. What was this for? Some sort of presentation?
“I find that girls always get a bit nervous in my office,” he said, talking to her in a light, overly friendly tone, as if he was talking to a nursery-schooler. “This will help you relax, okay sweetie?”
Angela scowled. She was about to launch into a furious tirade. She couldn’t stand being talked down to! Who the hell did this man think he was? If he assumed most women were like his ditzy receptionist then he had another thing coming. But before she could say a word, the tablet in her lap came to life. Brilliant pastel colours swirled and spiralled on the screen, sinking into a single spot in the centre, and her complaints died in her throat. She couldn’t take her eyes off it. It was just so pretty…
“There we go,” said the therapist in that same sweet tone. “That always takes care of fussy little girls.”
“Is there anything I have to do?” Eric asked.
Angela felt strange. She was vaguely aware of the men’s words, but it was as though they were coming to her from the end of a very long tunnel. Her attention was focused on the dazzling lights on the screen.
“Not a thing. Let me do all the talking. Did you hear that, Angela? We’re going to have a little talk, okay sweetie? Nothing to be nervous about. I’m a trained professional, after all. We need to have a little talk about how you betrayed your husband. About how he found out you were cheating on him. Because that wasn’t very clever of you, was it Angela? Getting caught.”
Angela shook her head, not taking her eyes off the screen. “Not clever,” she echoed. It was true. She shouldn’t have been caught. She should have been more careful not to let him find out. Because even though there was nothing wrong with what she’d done, even though she was completely in the right, Eric wouldn’t understand.
“That’s right, Angela,” said the therapist. “You’ve been a very dumb bitch, haven’t you?”
Angela frowned. That didn’t sound right. Dumb bitch. Was it okay for the therapist to call her that?
“Look at the pretty sparkles, sweetie,” he encouraged, and Angela sank back into the swirling lights. “That’s right. You’re just a dumb bitch, Angela. All women are, but you especially. That’s okay though. You don’t know any better – you’re just girls.”
Angela knew vaguely that there was something she didn’t like about what the man was saying, but she was too engrossed in the swirling colours to care. His words were like background noise. She could understand them if she concentrated, but it was so hard to focus with the wonderful patterns in front of her.
“Yes, you’re just a girl, Angela. Just a silly little girl. A big child. It doesn’t matter if you do something wrong, because you can’t be held accountable for your actions, can you? You’re sweet and innocent.”
Angela nodded eagerly, a dim smile spreading across her face. She hadn’t done anything wrong. If she wasn’t so distracted by her tablet, she’d have smirked at Eric. His stupid attempt to guilt-trip her with marriage counselling was backfiring on him. The therapist was on her side.
“Besides,” the therapist continued. “You didn’t cheat on your husband anyway, did you Angela?”
Angela was confused. She had cheated on Eric. Was the therapist going to help her cover it up? But Eric already knew, didn’t he? Surely that wouldn’t work! The lights on the screen grew brighter. They were so, so pretty…
“You didn’t,” the therapist said again. “In fact, it’s completely impossible for you to have cheated on your husband. You know why, I’m sure. It’s because of your embarrassing bedwetting habit.”
Angela wrinkled her nose and started trying to shake her head in disgust. She didn’t wet the bed! The therapist must be confused. He must be mixing her up with some little girl. Maybe one of his other clients was some silly little bedwetter who needed to be reassured that everyone had accidents now and again, but that certainly wasn’t her.
“Don’t… I don’t wet the bed…” she mumbled. Her words felt heavy in her mouth. It was hard to think. She just wanted to watch the pretty swirling lights.
“Look at the colours, sweetie,” the therapist told her. “That’s a good girl. You are a bedwetter, Angela. You wet the bed every night. You have done for quite a few weeks now. And what man would want to sleep with a woman who still pisses herself in her sleep like a dumb toddler? You’re very lucky your husband puts up with your babyish behaviour, young lady.”
Angela’s face slackened as the spirals spun faster and faster. Lucky. She was a lucky girl. She was lucky to have a husband who put up with her bedwetting. Another man might leave his wife if she started peeing herself every night. Especially if she’d cheated on him too. But Eric didn’t know about that. Did he? It was strange. For a while Angela had been sure he did. And the therapist didn’t seem to know either. In fact, he thought it was impossible for a bedwetter like her to cheat on her husband! She blushed even more brightly. How had she done it? Angela frowned slightly. She didn’t know. She couldn’t remember clearly. But the therapist was right – who’d want to have sex with some stupid, bedwetting baby-woman? Why would anyone sleep with her when it meant waking up in piss-soaked sheets, or next to someone in a sopping wet diaper. Her special protection. Her baby pants. Was the therapist still talking? She tried to pay attention.
“…because your husband puts up with you in other ways too, doesn’t he?” he was saying. “It’s not just the bedwetting. You actually have quite a few silly, childish behaviours that no adult woman should reasonably be expected to have. You…”
Angela tuned out again. She could feel his words entering her ears, but her attention was focused entirely on the lights in her lap. So pretty. Such pretty lights…
When she came to, the tablet was gone, Eric was standing up and putting his coat on, and the therapist was looking at her with a satisfied expression on his face. Had she fallen asleep?
“Ready to go home?” Eric asked her brightly.
Angela smiled back, a little hesitantly. She’d thought she was in trouble, but maybe she’d just been confused. She was such a silly girl sometimes. Such a dumb bitch.
Eric held out his hand, and she took it. It felt nice to be holding onto him. It felt reassuring. He held her hand all the way back to their house, and while he walked, she couldn’t help herself from skipping along beside him.
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midnightsnyx · 1 month ago
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girl at home | mat barzal | part 11
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pairing: mat barzal x reader
warning: alcohol and angst word count: 1288k (sorry)
authors note: i can't wait for nora to break everyone's heart in this chapter :) :) :) anyway im so sorry this is short and 100% a filler chapter but I need it to be able to write what will happen next. pls comment even if it’s constructive criticism because comments feed my writing soul 🩵 big big thanks to @justonemorewallflower for editing this!!
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The aftermath of her is interesting, to say the least. Training camp is creeping up and soon, Mat will have to return to New York. The two of you had a long but enlightening conversation shortly after his breakdown at your apartment. You had woken up the next morning to Nora’s foot digging into your kidney and Mat’s feet near your face but all the discomfort evaporated when the three of you made breakfast together. 
For the first time since Mat found out about Nora, you didn’t have anxiety or dread hanging over your shoulders. You weren’t worrying about other people's opinions or how Mat is adjusting or crazy girlfriends. You’re finally able to focus on trying to figure out how exactly to make this work.
Mat on the other hand, is doing everything he can to try and make up for everything but he’s going a tad overboard. 
“She does not need a kitten, Mathew,” you say firmly, refusing to look at his phone that has a picture of a kitten. 
“C’mon, look at that cute little fluffy baby,” he says, trying to push the phone closer to you. “It’ll teach her responsibility!” 
“She’s six,” you remind him, picking up a blanket off the couch and folding it. Mat’s been sleeping at your apartment but on the couch, much to Nora’s dismay. She assumes now that Mat isn’t dating anyone, you and Mat will get back together. The look of relief on her face when Mat told her Calista wasn’t going to be around anymore made you want to cry. You hadn’t truly understood just how much Mat’s toxic relationship was affecting Nora.
However, her insistence that you and Mat get married now is getting a bit out of hand. 
“We should talk about it,” he says quietly, snapping you out of your thoughts. 
He’s not talking about the kitten now. He’s referring to what kind of living situation you’re going to have come hockey season.
“Yeah,” you sigh, placing the final blanket on the pile and turning to face him. He looks unsure, eyes darting around the room and looking everywhere except at you. 
It’s unusual to see him unsure about himself. The Mat you knew when you were young was confident and rarely doubted anything. 
The past two months changed that, Nora changed it.
“I know you said that you don’t want to move-”
“Mat,”
“-but what if we just do weekends?” 
You give him a dry look. “Weekends? You want me and Nora to fly to New York every weekend? What are we, Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift?”
“If you’d told me about her in the first place, this wouldn’t be an issue!” He snaps, and you flinch because he’s right. If you had listened to what everyone was telling you seven years ago, and told Mat about Nora, you wouldn’t be in this situation. You had your reasons though, and you’ll stand by them.
“You’re never going to forgive me for that, are you?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know how I can.”
. . .
Bringing up the news that Mat has to go back to New York soon does not go over well with Nora. You’ve seen her throw tantrums before, but this is next level. She locks herself in her bedroom and refuses to come out, demanding for grandma Nadia to come to your apartment, which is an easy fix. One phone call and she’s at the front door.
Nora opens her bedroom door when she hears Nadia’s voice, but still looks suspicious when she opens it enough for her to squeeze through. They’re in her room for about fifteen minutes before they both come out, Nadia looking exasperated but somber at the same time.
They stand in front of you and Mat, Nora staring at the floor and Nadia looking at the two of you. 
“Nora would like to ask the New York Islanders owners to relocate to British Columbia,” she says, pressing her lips together. You can’t tell if she’s trying not to laugh or not to cry. 
Mat kneels down so he’s at Nora’s height and hesitantly takes her hands in his. “We can definitely write them a letter peanut, but that’s a lot easier said than done.”
She’s looking at the ground still but you can see teardrops hitting the floor and your heart breaks even more, if possible.
“Why?” She sniffles and Mat gives you a desperate look. You’ve been a mom for six years, he hasn’t even been a dad for 2 months.
“Nora,” you say softly but firm enough that she looks up at you. “I explained how hockey works, remember?”
“Yeah,” she mumbles, sniffling. “But maybe if we explain, they’ll change it.”
You kneel down so you’re at her level and wipe her face. “They won’t, baby.”
She starts sobbing when you say that, throwing one arm around you and one around Mat. You keep yourself from breaking down but you can hear Nadia sniffing quietly and Mat’s shoulders are shaking. 
All you wanted was for Nora to know Mat and his family but nothing has worked out the way you planned. You have no idea how it got to this point and you’re not sure if it’s going to be able to be fixed.
. . .
“What are you wishing for this year?” You asked Nora before she blew out the candles for her fifth birthday.
She tapped her chin a few times before grinning. “A daddy!” 
Nobody else heard her and she was too distracted to see the heartbroken look on your face.
. . . 
“Figure anything out yet?” Marlee asks, putting a glass of wine in front of you.
After taking a sip of your wine, you shake your head. “Nope. I can’t uproot Nora’s life, and Mat has to go back to New York.”
He’s been trying to spend as much time with her the past few days after her breakdown. They’re at the Barzal household tonight so you’re at Marlee’s, trying to forget for a while. You have no idea what to do and it’s killing you. Nora has been quiet and distant, and you don’t know what to read of that. Part of you wonders if she wants to move to New York with Mat, but deep down you know your daughter and if you just take her away from everybody and everything she knows, it won’t end well. 
“I don’t know what to tell you,” Marlee says, being completely unhelpful. You know she can’t solve your problems but you thought she would at least have some advice. 
“You got nothing?” You ask dryly. 
She sighs, looking up at the ceiling before turning her gaze to you. “Look, moving to New York? Probably a bad idea, but is it worth trying? Maybe.”
You narrow your eyes at her. “How many glasses of wine have you had?”
“This is my first, thank you very much,” she sniffs. 
“But you’re suggesting I move Nora to New York?” You ask incredulously. This is completely out of character for Marlee. She’s usually the one who thinks things through.
“A trial,” she says. “Try moving to New York with Mat. The worst that will happen is you and Nora coming home.”
Even though she’s saying this nonchalantly, she’s staring into her wine glass  thoughtfully. You know she wouldn’t have suggested it if she hadn’t thought it through.
The idea of moving is daunting and you’re not sure if you will even be able to go through with it. She’s right though, you could do a trial before Nora starts school. See how life in New York with Mat would be. If it would work.
“You really think it could work?” You ask quietly. 
“You won’t know until you try.”
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allertonhoe · 8 days ago
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haunted - rafe cameron (18+)
* * * I know if I'm hauntin' you, you must be hauntin' me * * *
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note: wrote on here //years// ago but haven't in a while, pls be kind !! also kinda rushed to get it out asap since not october anymore lol so sorry if the editing isn’t amazing
content warnings: 18+ MDNI - smut, afab!reader, unprotected p in v, toxic relationship (on-and-off dynamic), mentions being under the influence of alcohol + drugs, desecration of a room in a strangers house smh, not actually halloween-themed but angsty af ❤️
length: 2.1k words
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It was like a practiced routine at this point. A different Kook’s place getting sacrificed every weekend for another unsanctioned rager, the older adolescent crowd seizing any opportunity to get wasted. Plus there wasn’t much else to do on Figure 8, and it’s not like any of your parents really paid enough attention to stop you. More than likely boozed up themselves at the country club down the road.
You’d lost count of how many drinks you sculled back and joints you’d puffed pretty early on. The cocktail of substances that rushed through your system directing your conscious, your hips twisting along to the music without a care about who might be around. But you could tell there were a pair of eyes fixed on you, and you didn't need to look that way to know who was staring you down.
You couldn’t do anything, go anywhere, without your name being tied back to your ex-boyfriend, Rafe. Living in such a small, gossipy town, your long-standing (yet very contentious) affair was a hot topic. You knew it was all your mother ever talked about at the club with her girlfriends - she didn’t have much else to brag about anyway. Plus with not very far to go, there was no avoiding him forever.
One day, you'd been bickering and everything suddenly came to a head, storming out in the middle over a detail you couldn’t even recall anymore. He didn’t follow you out, didn’t text you later to apologize or check in on the status of your relationship. Both of you too proud to concede first, dragging out another melodramatic rift that didn’t need to happen. Your equally stubborn attitudes being your main obstacle instead of the original argument itself.
You ran in the same circles, that's how you'd gotten close in the first place. Your mutual friends urging you to just skip to the inevitable and reconcile, tired of hearing about your tumultuous dynamic. Catching brief glimpses of the brooding boy at every local function you showed up to, whether it was some annual club fundraiser that one of your parents were on the board of or another random house party. Always sensing his unwavering glare but never actually approaching to clear the air with you.
And from his unchanged demeanour, people would probably assume everything was fine. Rafe typically staying reclined against some wall, arms crossed over his chest, watching over you the entire night like some malignant curse. Shooting dirty looks at any guy that even glanced your way. Attempting to cope by chugging down more alcohol, trying to keep him off your mind and just have a good time with your friends, but you knew he wasn't just focused on your immediate surroundings.
At some point, you found yourself wandering through the hallways in search for a bathroom. Getting peace from the chaos as you found refuge in some random guest room. You scrambled into the attached ensuite, clumsily closing the door behind you as you assessed your surroundings as best as you could in your intoxicated state. Eventually composing yourself enough that you could return downstairs, but not expecting to be startled by a tall figure lurking as you returned to the bedroom.
“Fuck, Rafe. You scared the shit out of me." You announce, unsurprised as he grinned to himself at your unsuspecting alarm.
"Sorry. Didn't mean to."
“Did you follow me up here?” You question, getting your answer when he began to mimic a kid caught in a candy store.
"You, uh... You look really good." He compliments, shamelessly ogling you as he gradually approached.
You rolled your eyes, trying not let the sweet words affect you, especially knowing he was doing it to get a rise out of you. He knew it was better to get you alone, when the girlfriends you’d been venting to weren’t there to remind you about how distraught you’d been. Where he could trap you with his comforting musk - a blend of sea-salt, weed and expensive aftershave.
"Come on. Don't be that way, baby..." He pleads.
"I'm not being any way. And don't call me baby." You assert, trying your best to stand your ground. You knew how little it took for him to get under your skin, which took even less effort in your tipsy state.
"I miss you." He admits bluntly, his broad frame towering over you dauntlessly.
"I'm not doing this right now. I’m drunk, I’m sure you’re off your shit too." You protest, rubbing your scrunched-up face in distress.
"You don't have to do anything,” He reassures, his hands taking yours to uncover your features before dropping them to grip your hips. “And we don’t have to talk.”
That was your predicament - You were each other's weakness, unable to turn down the bold advances he would throw your way. Remembering of how much you adored how gentle he was when it was just the two of you, the opposite of his usual aggressive tone and shortness with everyone else. Falling victim to him again just from his commanding touch, trying your best to ignore the way he chastely kissed your exposed shoulder.
“We both know this isn’t a good idea.” You declare, but didn't outwardly reject him.
“Us a bad idea? Since when?” He surveys, sporting a cocky smirk as he realized it wouldn’t take too much convincing on his end.
His half-lidded eyes stayed on you as he waited for your response, gauging your reaction. His lips deliberately hovering over yours, dangling over you like bait. Unsure if it was because he didn’t want to overstep or was coaxing you to make the first move, trying to get you to give in first. He brought one of his hands up to your cheek, instinctively leaning into him as his thumb brushed over the skin.
“Rafe…” You remark softly, knowing he was already breaking down your walls again. “I can’t keep doing this with you. This back and forth. This break has been good for me...”
“So you’re done with me?” He retorts, emitting a scoff from you.
“I know you wouldn’t let me shake you off that easily Rafe.”
“Then why are you still picking a fight?” He raises his brow, his arrogance shining through.
“Because it’s more fun being a pain in your ass?”
“Yeah?” He grills playfully at your mouthy comment, too caught up in his teasing to notice he'd been subtly directing the two of you towards the bed.
“Seems to keep you coming back.” You reply, mirroring his steamy expression as he drew you closer.
He kissed you like it was all he’d been thinking about since you'd unceremoniously walked out all those weeks ago, like he needed to actually convince you to reconsider him. His movements in sync with yours as he helped you lay backwards, letting him take complete charge. Proceeding as if there had been no time lost, as if there was no unresolved tension between you. A disappointed whimper leaving you when he pulled away, which was quickly amended as he pecked down your neck hungrily.
“You always have me coming back, baby.” He mutters smoothly. “Doesn't matter how long it’s been…”
Holding his intense stare, you took the hem of your top and stripped off the fabric, silently affirming that he could keep going even though your body language had given him more than enough permission. He follows suit, removing his own shirt without hesitation as he returned his focus to you. Hooking his fingers into your skirt and ripping it off, only preoccupied with how good it felt being back here with you.
“You just walked out with no fucking explanation. Nothing. You really believe I’ve thought about anyone else?”
“Then show me how much you missed me” You request simply, Rafe wasting no time as he brought his lips back to yours.
He looked down at you like you were his hunted prey, only a thin ring of his striking cerulean irises visible around the edge of his blown out pupils, knowing at this point it wasn’t just the result of the coke he’d done earlier. Reaching behind your back and unclasping your bra, his vacant hand fondling one of your breasts, basically covering the surface with his large digits.
Dragging his lips up and down your torso, the only sounds filling the room being your ragged panting and the muffled noise coming from downstairs, neither of you paying any mind to the party still going on. Carefully making his way across your flesh, nipping at the skin as if to physically imprint you with his mark once again. Not that you'd even entertained another man’s company during your time apart.
His pace was agonizingly slow as he made his way to your panties, watching as he pecked down your stomach gingerly, tending to every area he stopped at. Your breath shuddering when he took the waistband between his teeth, not breaking his heated gaze as he tugged them down your legs. Fumbling to discard his own pants and boxers, hurrying to continue his initial task.
You gasp as his fingers purposefully skimmed against your core, your hands flying to his chest for some stability as you surrendered into his touch. Feeling his accelerated heart rate under your palms, the hasty rhythm matching your own just from the building anticipation. Giving him the same kind of attention, you confidently took him into your grasp, earning a similar, fervent response from Rafe.
Your shared desire unwavered as you angled him towards your entrance, the muted gesture doing more communication than you had for weeks. Instantly getting the fix that no drugs or alcohol had been able to satisfy. The hint of unrest that had been lingering since your last encounter vanishing at his invasion, trembling as he stretched you out and made himself comfortable inside you.
"Fuck," He grunts deeply, like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders, a wave of pleasure washing over him. "That’s it baby."
He only let you adjust to him for a few moments, too caught up in the fact he had you again to hold himself back any longer. Fucking you like he was making a statement with every thrust, knowing exactly what he needed to do to elicit the reaction he’d been craving from you, your walls enveloping him snugly with every jolt. His name falling from your lips like some sacred chant, sporting a cheeky grin as you fed his ego.
“Never letting you go like that again.” He proclaims, his words only pushing you further. “You’re damn frustrating, but fuck, you’re mine.”
His hand threaded through your hair, holding you firmly as he rested his forehead on yours, not letting up his fierce momentum. A familiar pressure started to build within you, Rafe never having to work too hard to bring you to bliss, slipping back into your accustomed dynamic. Knowing you wouldn’t last much longer, but recognizing the same went for him as his movements got sloppier. Absolute euphoria taking over as he relentlessly pounded into you.
“Say it. Tell me you’re mine.” He growls out, hearing the faint vulnerability laced underneath the demand.
“I’m yours…” You agree smoothly. “Always. Only you.”
This only drove him wilder, making him cling onto you even tighter, realizing he’d been just as lost without you as you’d been without him. Neither of you holding back the urgency that had built up, channeling whatever unspoken resentment that remained into your frenzied actions. Not too worried about how uncoordinated or desperate your efforts had become; just content that you were back together like you were supposed to be.
“R-Rafe, I-” You stammer, barely able to even get that out.
“I know, baby. I got you.”
A strangled moan escaped your throat as your orgasm hit, being fully consumed by him, his own release following seconds later. Leisurely making out as you reveled in your highs, cuddled like you were the last two people on Earth and not in some random bedroom hiding from a sea of your drunk peers. Not in any rush to get up right away, Rafe wrapped his arms around you protectively, holding you against his chest.
You’d kinda forgotten how much you loved being the object of his affection, how right it felt being held and kissed and taken care of by him. It was obvious as you both laid there that you wouldn't be neglecting your relationship again anytime soon, especially over some petty argument. Not missing the smug look on his face as you caught your breath, already back to finding the somewhat patronizing gesture more endearing than you probably would’ve an hour ago.
“What?”
“Do you even remember why you were so mad at me in the first place?”
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dreamwritersworld · 1 year ago
Text
Outgrown…(miles morales x reader)
Miles and Y/n always walked hand and hand growing up. They were best friends…secretly in love…but then came in Gwen.
They fell into arguments frequently..
“Y/n you don’t get it! God! I just wish she was here all the time!”
Silence stayed between the two. Tears slipped from Y/n ‘s eyes.
Rio and Jeff heard everything miles said and how much Y/n just tried to remain calm and comfort him. They didn’t understand about what or why but they assumed he was just missing a girl Y/n couldn’t be.
“ok..ok you’re right I’m not her…and I don’t get it..I’m so sorry I can’t be her or won’t ever be her.”
Sorry.
that was all Y/n ever knew to say. The girl was so good at overthinking with her heart. Too needy for her own good…Miles knew that and he didn’t have to say it for Y/n to feel it.
“yea..so..just ugh just realize it. you don’t understand what I’m going through ! I just wish you got that.”
“I do..i do. Please stop. I’m just trying to comfort you. Remember that I was always here before Gwen and after Gwen. It was always me miles.”
“Well…I’m sorry but I just don’t want your comfort: Whatever you’ve got to say..it won’t make me feel better.”
Y/n loved Miles but he never accepted her affection or friendship anymore…they were outgrowing each other and it physically hurt her heart.
Whenever she hung out with him she shouldn’t have to feel this way…she felt horrible and felt like everything was a competition between her and Gwen. He compared them all the time now. This wasn’t how it was supposed to feel…not when they spent what? Their whole life together.
“ok..that’s ok..I have to go, goodnight Miles.”
that’s all Y/n could settle on saying goodnight and go.
Y/n opened the door to both parents listening in the living room. She quickly dried her tears before they fell.
“oh honey…”
Rio rushed up to Y/n hugging her as she shed tears on her shoulder.
Jeff spoke softly and tried lighting up the mood for the young girl.
“It’s ok! We’ll get him to come back to you! You’re our favorite Y/n. He’s just not thinking straight, I’ll knock his senses straight!”
“oh…it’s ok Mr.Mórales. It’s just the way he feels and that’s fine. I’ll be just fine, I won’t be around for awhile..I wish the best for you two. I love you guys!”
Y/n gave both parents the sweetest hug before letting go and walking out the door.
That was the last time the family and her spoke.
Miles thought about all of it for the next month. He couldn’t feel anymore guilty, now that Y/n made it clear she didn’t want to talk anymore…little did he know the sweet girl couldn’t bother to open his texts cause all she kept on hearing her as his voice yelling at her repeatedly
Miles: Y/n
Miles: I’m sorry
Read 11:09 p.m.
Miles: I know you opened my text
Miles: you know i didn’t mean it
Delivered
this wasn’t the first time Miles reminded Y/n she no longer had much importance to him..she couldn’t bare forgiving him again only to get hurt.
Y/n was precious to Miles, but she no longer compared to Gwen and he was too blind and upset to realize..she’s exactly what he needed. The girl who he grew up with knew everything about him, knew how to hold him down, and love him the way he was supposed to…for the longest Y/n was his breath of fresh air.
In many ways it was because Y/n never had powers like him..that’s the biggest thing she didn’t have that Gwen did. But was it really that beneficial? Y/n would pull him back to a normal life…to reality.
Miles kept Y/n in his orbit, rather she realized it or not. He smiled every time he saw her. Even though he knew he hurt her, he loved her from a far. All Miles needed was for Y/n to shut him out and not talk to him, leaving him in the dust..that last month of no contact with her broke him. That’s when he realized he could complain about missing Gwen but he wouldn’t actually do anything about it..not like the way he would with Y/n. She was where his heart resides.
Y/n always worked late to help her mother keep food on the table and her siblings shoes well kept. So, Miles followed her when she did her walks home…he could see the stress she was going through, how desperately she needed a way out.
When Rio visited the corner store Y/n worked at she never failed to mention Miles
“Ay Mija he misses you! I miss you! You were the brains behind all his projects..now that boy can barley think.”
The sweet girl smiled and respected Rio for her support always, but it hurt her hearing about him. By the end of the day Y/n’s body was so sore and her mind was fried..Miles wasn’t there, so she had more times for shifts. Y/n made sure she was going to graduate valedictorian, top of her class. Show her younger brother and sister that they can do it too…she’d set a higher curb. Her mother couldn’t be any prouder.
The hard work and sweat is what seemingly caught Miles attention. Y/n knew what she wanted and she was going to go for it.
That, was something Y/n had that Gwen didn’t. His best friend always remained humble and kind to everyone. Never once called his parents out there name…never once raised her voice unless she was really frustrated. Truth was he never heard her yell so..he would never know. Y/n never once betrayed him or turned her back to him, not like the way Gwen did. Of course he forgave her..but when you mess up as bad as he did..do you deserve forgiveness?
After awhile of missing her, needing her. He’d figure he would follow her example. Go for what he wanted, go for the idea he constantly pushed away… and so he knocked on the door of her apartment hoping it’d be her.
“Lita! Ve a bañarte y de ahí vas a tu cuarto and I’ll be there.”
Miles could hear her sternly mother voice and hear chairs shift. Then there was a little girls voice..Lita’s the exact copy and paste of younger Y/n.
“Why did he yell at me? I hate him!”
“I’m sorry Lita! I was just upset!
His confidence went down the drain immediately hearing the little sister yell and the silence the brother got from his response. It’s obviously wasn’t the same argument and situation but it was frustrating because all he wanted was to take back the girl he took for granted.
Miles waited out the door with roses knocking one more time to get Y/n’s attention. When chains from locks were coming undone and the door finally creaked open, Y/n was taken by surprise…
!❤️💙!
i just wrote this up because i needed something to do with this song, it been stuck in my head! nothing too serious :)! the whole thing Lita said and her older brothers response was supposed to be a cute parallel of y/n being mad at miles for yelling and miles apologizing
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