#and then hunches over. Bc he know’s things have changed. he can’t anymore. He apologizes. All curled up on himself

[fifteenpuzle]

hey so they were about to kiss here right…

[brokutosan]

Title. Oikawa Toruu Is Not A Genius, But He Is A Jackass

Pairings. Oikawa Toruu x Fem!Reader

Summary. In which Oikawa doesn’t always tell his girlfriend things. She finds out anyways.

Warnings. Contains manga spoliers! Oikawa’s inferiority complex is mentioned a lot, as well as his anxieties over it. The title and the summary are misleading, sorry. This is a fluffy imagine (sort of).

“Honey, I’m home!” Oikawa Toruu calls out to a silent apartment. Also, it’s three in the morning, but he’s Oikawa Toruu and Oikawa Toruu could care less if he’s bothering the whole building, so long as he could finally take her in his embrace again (he’s up for a treat when she does wake up though, and not the one he’s expecting).

Oikawa takes note of the subtle changes from when he was last here. For instance, the old hand-me-down couch they got from his mom is replaced by a new, clean, and sleek black couch. There’s also some new additions of little knick knacks here and there, but it still felt like home to him. Kicking off his worn out sneakers by the door, not even bothering to check if it knocked over some of her things, Oikawa heads straight to the bedroom, where he’s welcomed by her sleeping form.

She’s dressed in one of his old Seijoh shirt along with white shorts and her arms are clinging onto a pillow. Oikawa gushes at the sight before snapping a quick picture and taking slow, careful, steps towards the bed.

“If you were gonna sneak around you shouldn’t have announced to the whole fucking neighborhood you were home.” She snorts with her eyes still closed. Oikawa stops dead in his tracks like a deer caught in headlights and remains frozen as if not moving would erase his presence all together.

“Hmph!” Oikawa lets out as his face catches a pillow that was chucked at him by his still sleeping girlfriend. “Nice throw babe. Ever thought of a career switch? I can see you making it big in softball.”

“Stop dicking around and just come here.” She mumbles. Oikawa smiles at the adorable sound of her sleep-induced voice. “As you wish my darling.” He says before throwing all his weight onto her sleeping form.

“Toruu, you jackass!” Oikawa lets out a boisterous laugh at her feeble attempts of freeing herself from his arms. The more she wiggles the tighter his hold gets, before she gives in to his embrace.

“I missed you so much.” Oikawa mumbles into her hair once they’ve settled in. He flips them over so they’re now laying side by side, with one arm slung over her form rubbing soothing circles on her back and the other placed under her head.

“Sorry I couldn’t pick you up from the airport. My boss wouldn’t push back the deadline.” Oikawa shakes his head ‘no’ and mumbles out, “It’s fine. This makes up for it.”

“Good, cus you’ll feel my wrath tomorrow morning.” Oikawa gulps down, knowing she’s totally serious.

-

Oikawa wakes up after the first good night’s sleep he’s had in a few months to an empty bed. He catches a whiff of miso soup which leads him into the kitchen, to a sight he’s been missing after all those years in Argentina.

Hunched over the stove is his girlfriend, clad in an oversized t-shirt while mixing something in the pot. The sight makes him smile, before her voice snaps him out of his daydream. “Oi, don’t just stand there, go set the table.” He salutes and scoops up two bowls of rice and places them down on the table alongside various side dishes.

Y/N sets down the pot she was stirring on the stove, letting Oikawa catch another whiff of her familiar cooking. “Thank you for the meal.” He says with a huge smile on his face. Y/N sits down across from him on table, where she then proceeds to stare him down.

The sight reminds Oikawa of his mom, who’s an expert at chastising him with looks alone. She bites down on a spoonful of rice, not once breaking eye contact with him. Oikawa racks his head for anything that he could’ve done wrong to deserve this mental beating. Their anniversary? No, it’s coming up in two months. Her birthday? Like Oikawa could ever forget. Then -

“Mind telling me why exactly you’re here on a vacation?” Oikawa feels the hairs at the back of his neck shoot up. Of course he couldn’t. If she found out he got sent home from over exerting himself again, she’ll rip his head off.

“I mean, there’s no anniversaries coming up, no birthday, and I doubt you’re here willingly where your team ain’t.” She lists off the facts with her fingers. Oikawa can feel the storm coming, this was only the calm before it.

“If you wanted to hide the fact that you’ve gone and practiced yourself ‘til you collapsed, maybe don’t have me listed as your emergency contact!” There it is. The ‘wrath’ she had mentioned the night before. “I mean seriously, Toruu! Did Hajime not tear your ass apart in highschool enough for practicing too hard?! You want me to do it too?! I’m scarier than that beefy bastard!” Yes, yes she is. Oikawa silently tells himself.

He clears the table of anything she could use against him as a weapon. Her chopsticks, fork, and empty mug, to name a few things.

“Oops?” Oikawa flinches as her palms make contact with the table. “Oops?!” She screeches. Oikawa gulps down a spoonful of miso soup, trying his best to avoid her gaze. He’s expecting more yelling, but is met with a soft look and a teary girlfriend over miso soup and rice. Fuck. He’d prefer the yelling girlfriend.

“Did you know how useless I felt when your coach called me saying you were bedridden for a week because you just didn’t know when to stop?” She lets out a deep breathe and continues, “Like what the fuck was I supposed to do from across the world? Fucking pray you weren’t out there dying? You didn’t even have the decency to call and let me know!”

Despite her larger than life personality that Oikawa has grown to love over the years, the sight of his girlfriend looking so small makes his heart burst from guilt. He fucked up. That much he could admit. His tendency to push higher and relentlessly practice until he felt his lungs begging for a break was always something that worried her, especially now that she’s not exactly within reach to stop him from pushing himself too hard.

“Toruu, I support your dream one hundred percent, even if it’s taking you thousands of miles away from me, but please,” The anger laced in her voice is replaced with desperation, making Oikawa want to reach out and hold her close, “take care of yourself too. If not for yourself, then do it for me.”

He doesn’t know whether it’s the fact that someone cares about him so much to the point it brings her to tears, or the fact that she is in tears, but he feels himself trembling from the burst of affection. Oikawa doesn’t have the best track record of handling his insecurities well, but knowing that that makes her sad makes him want to do better.

Oikawa crosses over the table and gently places her head on his chest, rubbing soothing circles on her back. Though she’s still a bit shaky from yelling and crying, Y/N eventually calms herself down to sniffles and tiny whimpers.

“I’m sorry.” Oikawa decides to speak first.

“I wasn’t looking for an apology.”

“But I’m sorry either way.” He lets his body fall into her embrace, noting this as another thing he’s missed since moving to Argentina. “For not taking care of myself. For not letting you know I collapsed. For always worrying you, but never stopping to check in on you.”

“And I’m sure this’ll happen again in the future,” he earns a light smack on his chest for that, “but I’ll just say sorry for that too.”

“And,” Oikawa mumbles, his face burrowed deep into the crook of her heck, “thank you, for looking out for me even though I don’t deserve it. You can’t understand how much I appreciate knowing you’re there for me, even if it’s not always physical.”

Y/N feels herself relaxing in his embrace, arms finally wrapping themselves around his waist. Her eyes are slightly watery as she looks up and says, “Promise you won’t hide these kinds of things from me anymore?”

Oikawa opens his mouth to respond, but is interrupted,

“And I don’t just mean when you pass out. I mean like if it ever gets hard living alone in Argentina. If you miss home, if you think you’re working too hard and need a break, I want to know everything, Toruu.”

Oikawa simply hums in response, placing a kiss on her forehead. “I promise.”

-

A little while later, after they’ve both calmed down and are cuddling on the couch watching some old movie, Oikawa perks up, suddenly remembering something.

“I brought you a gift, by the way.” He skips off into the bedroom, unzipping one of his many suitcases. (He packed four, plus his carry ons. He’s only staying for two weeks). Y/N is visibly nervous at the fact that this ‘gift’ has a whole suitcase designated for it. Turns out she had a good reason to be.

“What the fuck am I looking at.”

“It’s me!” Oikawa exlaims, one hand forming a peace sign brought up to his face, and the other holding up a horrendous life sized body pillow complete with his face and team uniform. Y/N could only blink, wishing to Christen her eyes from the terrible sight. Or maybe turn back time to before she even saw it. After a long moment of silence, in which Oikawa did not move an inch from his previous position, Y/N finally gathers enough sanity to say,

“Alright, get the fuck out of my house.”

Oikawa decides to dig his own grave by cheekily calling out, “Oh come on babe! Think of it as a coping mechanism for when you’re missing your totally awesome boyfriend-”

A throw pillow makes it’s way to Oikawa’s face. They’re called throw pillows for a reason, because now Oikawa’s forehead is red, tears brimming in his eyes from the loud smack! that met his face hard. But apparently not hard enough seeing as how he still manages to let out a, “nice throw,” over teary eyes and two thumbs up. Y/N thinks her boyfriend might be an idiot.

A/N. Very very very short, I know. I haven’t been writing as much bc I don’t have inspiration for anything??? But I’ll get back into it soon. For now, thank you for reading!! I AM working on the two requests I got, but those might take some time!! Sorry for the wait lol. - chuu

[madeofstardust17]

Whumptober prompt 21. Hallucinations

Rating: G

Tw: none

Team as family

Oh boy is this angsty. There's a special bonus at the end bc it's my baby boy's bday.

...

The paladins of Voltron looked like scared teenagers.

They were teenagers, so young Shiro sometimes felt angry that they had to fight in a war, that he was leading a team of child soldiers. 

But today they looked like teens. Today, they weren’t the paladins of Voltron, they were lonely kids away from home. 

He scanned the room.

Lance was looking at the floor, hunched over with a sober look on his face. From time to time, his face would crumble as tears would spring to his eyes. He would shake his head and continue like nothing had happened. 

Hunk wasn’t moving at all, and was just covering his face with his hands.

Pidge’s face was blotchy and her eyes were bloodshot, but had stopped crying. 

And Keith just sat there, leaning into the sofa with his eyes closed, almost as if he were sleeping. 

Shiro ran a hand through his hair

“Guys” he called, they all looked at him “we have to talk about what happened”

Lance smiled humorlessly “there’s nothing to talk about” he said “we were captured and led to believe we were home, and then you woke us up and reality punched us in the face”

His voice shook slightly at the end.

No one spoke. 

And as Shiro opened his mouth to say something, Pidge scoffed and rubbed her eyes 

“Look at us, the mighty paladins of Voltron, falling to pieces because of some hallucinations” she barked out a laugh “We’re pathetic”

Shiro sprang up from his eat so fast everyone looked at him in shock.

“No” his voice was hard and even “I want you to listen to me very carefully” he lowered his tone, making it sound almost threatening. Lance and Hunk looked a bit scared but he didn’t care, he needed them to understand. 

He met everyone’s eyes one by one before speaking. 

“What happened today, those hallucinations, they’re psychological torture” he ran a hand through his hair again, suddenly nervous “I’ve seen it before, when I was a prisoner. I don’t know how they do it, but they make you see the people you want to see the most. Then those people ask you questions, regarding the information the galra want from you. If you still don’t answer them, the hallucination changes, and you see the people getting tortured” his expression darkened “I’ve seen the toughest aliens crying and pleading as they ‘see’ their loved ones tortured”

Silence filled the room. Finally, Pidge broke it 

“Have they ever used it on you? Is that why you were able to wake up?”

Shiro shook his head with a wry smile 

“No. They made me see my grandfather... and Adam” Keith, who was looking at the ground again, looked at him briefly, but quickly looked away when Shiro caught his eye.

“My grandfather was the one who raised me. He died shortly after I graduated from the Garrison”

Pidge looked down at her lap

“Oh”

More silence as they all lost themselves in their thoughts.

Shiro allowed this for a few minutes before he spoke again.

“We need to talk about it”

“Why?” He wasn’t surprised when he saw Keith tense up, already defensive. Shiro glared right back

“Because it’s important. Because we have been tortured today and I’d be one shitty leader if I let you walk out of here without talking about it” he looked around the room “now… who’s going to start?”

Silence again. Until…

“You all saw my reaction” Pidge huffed. Shiro was surprised, he had expected Pidge to be second-to-last, Keith being the obvious last. 

“I was crying until we reached the lions. I saw Matt, and my dad, and mom” she didn’t say anything for a few moments “is it wrong that I wanted to stay there? That I wanted to believe it was real?”

“No” Lance told her. He looked like he wanted to reach out and hug her, but looked scared about the reaction. He met Shiro’s eye, asking, and Shiro nodded subtly. Lance put an arm around Pidge. She leaned into him.

“I left my mom alone” she said, and her voice sounded unusually high “she doesn’t know if I’m alive. I told myself that I was doing the right thing when I ran away, but-“ her voice broke

“You feel guilty” Lance finished. She nodded, a few tears running down her cheeks.

“Katie” Pidge looked up, looking at Shiro with big honey eyes, which seemed amplified by the tears.

“We’re going to find your family. And when we do, because we will, you’re going to get them home, and you’re going to give your mom the biggest hug and apologize. And you’ll probably be grounded for the rest of your life” he said the last phrase quickly, and smiled when it made her laugh.

“Yeah” she agreed, rubbing her eye.

It wasn’t a perfect fix, Shiro told himself, but at least she had gotten it out of her chest. 

When she didn’t speak anymore, Shiro looked at the three boys.

And this time it was Hunk who spoke up.

He looked pale, and his eyes were widened with horror.

“I was telling my parents about voltron” he said, and Shiro’s heart sank.

“How much?” 

“I was telling them about you when you woke me up”

Shiro nodded, exhaling slowly 

“They already know a lot about me, I doubt the learnt much”

“I’m so sorry” 

His eyes were filled with tears, and he looked like he was going to be sick.

“It’s okay, Hunk” Shiro smiled at him “you didn’t do any harm”

“I knew there was something off, I could feel it” His voice was unusually husky now, and he was staring at the floor, as if transfixed.

“Hunk. Look at me”

He did, and a few tears escaped his red eyes. 

“You have great instincts, Hunk. Listen to them. Something doesn’t feel right? You come tell me, or whoever you are with at the moment. Your gut hasn’t failed us yet” 

Hunk nodded, sending his way a small but truthful smile. 

Shiro gave Hunk a few moments to add something, and when he didn’t, he turned to the youngest of the boys

“Lance?”

Shiro had been surprised when Lance hadn’t been first to share, as he usually was. Now he looked more like Keith, defensive and closed off.

“I’ve already told” he said, crossing his arms “I thought I was home, and reality punched me in the face”

“You miss your home” 

Lance nodded curtly, and then flicked away a tear like it was a pesky fly.

“It doesn’t matter” 

“It does matter, Lance”

“It doesn’t. Being homesick won’t defeat Zarkon, and I’ve already bothered you all with this before-“

“You’re not a bother, Lance” Shiro cut him off. Lance hung his head but didn’t respond. 

There was silence for a few moments.

“The thing about leaving a home…” Shiro looked at Keith, eyes wide. Keith continued, not looking away from Lance “is that the only way to quell homesickness is to find people that become home”

Lance went to speak, looking doubtful

“Take it from a kid who’s been in the system since he was eight”

The smirk that he sent Lance was gentle, not at all like he’s usual ones. 

“Does it ever stop?” His voice was hoarse 

“Not completely” Keith didn’t hesitate. 

Lance seemed thankful Keith had told the truth, and smiled at him. 

“I saw my dad” Keith said, leaning back and closing his eyes “big surprise there, he’s the only one I miss”

“Hey, Keith?” Pidge seemed hesitant. Keith hummed in question 

“Do you ever miss earth?” 

Keith opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling, thinking about it

“Sometimes. I miss sunsets, and my hoverbike, and my shack” he glanced at Pidge and smiled “but like I said, you guys are my home” 

Everyone smiled, and Shiro felt pride rising in his chest. 

He remembered the lonely, angry kid he had met, and marveled at the young man that sat in front of him. 

“Shiro?” 

Shiro jumped a bit, looking at Pidge 

“What?”

“You need to say something too” Shiro frowned

“I already said” 

“That didn’t count”

Shiro thought about it. 

He couldn’t deny seeing Adam had made his heart ache, like an old wound in bad weather. 

“I made peace with my grandfather’s death a long time ago, but I guess it hurt seeing Adam again, so happy to see me”

It was Lance who spoke this time 

“Do you still love him?”

“I… Yeah” he said softly “I do” he scoffed “but I doubt he would take me back even if he hadn’t found someone else. I messed up”

“Yeah you did” 

Shiro turned to look at Keith.

“When you disappeared, we stuck together for a while” he huffed out a laugh “we either cursed you to oblivion or we’d praise you”

He smiled, and then it faltered 

“God, we were so hurt” 

He looked at shiro, his eyes hard

“I don’t know if he’ll take you back, but I can promise you, he loved you even when you left”

Shiro smiled at him, a little sadly, but a little hopeful too.

“Thank you, Keith”

He looked around at his team.

The guilty, the sorry, the hurt and the mourning.

But he also saw something else in their expressions, the strange sort of peace that you get when you’re surrounded by loved ones.

By family.

And shiro knew he had done well today.

…

A bonus for Keith’s b-day:

They all lingered in the lounge room that night after dinner, instead of going to their bedrooms as usual. 

Every time Shiro brought up going to bed, they would all try to ignore the comments. 

Finally, the conversation drifted off, leaving a tense silence. 

Shiro sighed. Teenagers 

“Alright” he called “who wants to stay here tonight”

They all raised their hands.

10 minutes later, they were all laying down in the middle of the circle the couched formed. 

They lay in their usual places: Shiro sandwiched between Keith and Pidge, Hunk in pidges other side, and Lance next to Keith, although this particular combination usually ended in bickering, and the two boys sulking as they were hit with multiple pillows. 

Not tonight though.

Tonight they were all pleasantly dozing, maybe a little closer than they usually were, but no one pointed it out.

Pidge’s clocked bipped, signaling midnight. 

Shiro turned to his side

“Hey, Keith?”

“Yeah?” He mumbled 

“Happy birthday kiddo” he muttered, dropping a kiss on his head. 

Keith's eyes opened

“Oh. Right”

They looked at each other before Keith huffed out a laugh 

“I can’t believe you remembered”

“I can’t believe you forgot”

“Shut uuuupppp” Pidge moaned 

“It’s Keith’s birthday” Shiro said. Keith groaned and buried his face on his pillow.

Pidge immediately sat up, wide awake. 

“Whoa, really?”

“Why didn’t you tell, Mullet?” Lance whacked Keith’s shoulder 

“I forgot” he mumbled, still buried underneath his pillow.

“Tomorrow- or later today I suppose- I’ll make those cookies you like so much” Hunk said.

That got Keith to abandon his hiding place. 

He looked at Hunk hopefully

“Really?”

Hunk was weak to those big indigo eyes 

“Of course” 

He beamed at him, his whole face lighting up. 

“We should all go raid Coran’s alcohol stash” Lance said “I know for a fact that he has more than nunvill in there”

“Absolutely not” Shiro spoke up, voice hard 

“You’re no fun” Lance pouted. Keith snickered, feeling warm inside.

Silence followed, only broken by

“Happy birthday, Keith”

“Happy birthday, man”

“Happy b-day, buddy” 

Keith grinned

“Thanks guys”

…

“You know, tomorrow I could cut your mullet, it’d be my birthday present to-“

“GOOD NIGHT LANCE”

...

Would you look at that? Not a cheesy ending. Comments give me life :)

[omuse]

𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞  𝐮𝐩𝐨𝐧  𝐚  𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞  …  lyle  song  was  known  as  the  adventurous  &  independent  historian  with  a  reputation  for  being  a  lee  dongwook  doppelganger  .   but  now  ,  under  the  stress  of  the  war  on  the  horizon  ,  the  natural  born  unaffiliated  siren  has  become  widely  known  for  being  rather  demanding  &  difficult  .   let’s  see  how  long  the  oriana  native  will  last  during  this  war  .   after  all  they’re  only  thirty  eight  years  old  .   +  he  /  him  &  cis  male  ,  original  character.

hi everyone ! it’s me again, kay, 20, who resides in the gmt +3 timezone and goes by she / her pronouns, i’m over the moon to be finally bringing lyle, a siren, and i apologize in advance for any typos bc its 4 am !! a quick summary, he is a historian who is currently in a bind w a dark witch and is doing everything he can do get out of it, so resides in oriana w him ! as always, i would love to establish plots and connections for him, so please don’t hesitate to hit me up or give this a heart and i’ll come to you instead <3

BIOGRAPHY

one.

it begins with a baby being left to the orphanage, by a young mother, too young to take care of him by herself. so, with teary eyes and a last kiss to his cheeks, he is left only with an embroidered handkerchief and a name. nothing else.

the first eight years of his life isn't easy — he is too full of energy, labeled as a handful by most of the workers there. his attempts to escape are seldom fruitful, he can't get too far away before he is caught, reprimanded yet again, being told that no one will want him like this — that he will be here until he's an adult if he keeps it up. while young lyle utters that so be it, his heart stings, and he quietens down each time.

two.

there is another attempt of adoption when he is eight, but after it doesn't go well - lyle is there for another three years before the song family adopts him. he is apprehensive at first, after bad experiences and never being wanted drilled into his mind, all he has is to lash out, but this time, he tries to behave, too tired of friends leaving, of reprimands, of never being enough.

and luckily to him, songs don't expect much. a couple who can't conceive naturally, too rich and busy for their own good- decide to adopt, make a family for themselves without ever being around their kid. there are times lyle wishes they were here around, the first few months where he proudly shows the sketches he made, the grades he got from his private lessons. it's mostly received with a 'i'm busy, later-" and on the very few occasions he is complimented, something is off.

this family, the way he is supposed to belong, lyle finds underwhelming, as if something is fundamentally missing. but soon enough, he falls into rhythm, enjoying the private tutors, and that whenever he shows interest, he can learn about other subjects. history fascinates him endlessly, and it's all he wants from them, books and books, more lessons — and pleased with a picture-perfect son, they let him buy whatever his heart wishes.

three.

soon enough, he falls into a routine, of reading and studying whatever he wishes, managing to have some time off to himself to visit the surrounding areas as well. it's then that there is a new addition to his family, enough to throw him off rhythm, surprised to see them introducing a new brother to him.

micah song, a small boy with wide eyes, lyle is at a loss for words. while a part of him is unsure, unpleased with such sudden change — the other part of him wants to be better than that. doesn't want the boy to be disappointed by the lack of love surrounding the song family, the cold walls that surround them no matter how well decorated it is. so, he promises himself to be the best big brother he can be, and gives him a warm hug, tells him to call him hyung.

and maybe, just as he's trying so hard to give this boy a family, he'll find one too.

four.

it becomes less lonely with micah around, and although it takes some time getting used to, lyle finds himself smiling more often, sharing what he knows, laughter echoing off of the walls of their too big rooms. and while they become a handful sometimes, trying recipes and messing the kitchen — those are one of the best times of lyle's life.

five.

then things begin shifting, micah seems to hide things, now that he has grown up more, there is a distance between them lyle doesn't know how to deal with. he himself is an adult now, but a part of himself wants to cling on to his little brother, to times where they were closer. so, when, suddenly, the boy disappears, lyle knows he has run away. imagines remembering him hunched over papers, writing letters to someone — a lover, a friend, one thing or another. a better family.

it stings, that he wasn't enough for him, that as he grew older, micah didn't trust him anymore. lyle knows too well himself that the song family was far from perfect, but he had hoped they were family, in one way or another. and with micah gone, he feels bitter, and buries himself into his work instead, into books and history, academics, yearning for more and more knowledge.

six.

years go by faster for lyle once he begins studying, he gets his degrees, bachelor, masters, doctorate. he takes gap years in between where he travels under the sea, visiting new places, learning more people. acquainted with his kind, he yearns to know more. sometimes the surface kingdoms as well, though not as often as he likes exploring the ocean.

then- there are the surface people, often sailors. it's intriguing, the way humans are so affected by their songs, foolish to turn into lovesick fools. it's enchanting, and though lyle's life lies with books and travels, he meets sirens who do it often, sings with them, watches the way life leaves humans' eyes. witches hunt his kind like pets, torture mermaids and sirens for their scales every day, and for that reason, he feels no remorse singing them to their demise, for they deserve the worst of fates.

then.

life goes similarly for a while — until during one of his travels near the surface, lyle is caught, tangled in a net of spells. next moment, he is fighting with all he knows, spells leaving his mouth one after another. and somehow- their lives are tangled at the same time, in a net they don't know how to unbind. lyle is furious at the incapable wizard, the way he is forced to be near him- cursed to be in his presence.

there is only one thing he can do, and although he hates it with everything he has, he follows the wizard to his manor in oriana, hoping to help him unbind the curse, so he doesn't have to spend a second longer with him.

PLOT IDEAS

people he knew from the orphanage

family friends / relatives of the songs

first foster fam ? 

other ppl who study history

sirens !

witches he hates

enemies / friends

other creatures he doesnt know of ( mainly surface )

 that’s all for now and im sorry its so late so i hope this makes sense !!! like i said above, pls hit me up for plots or like this and i will come to you <3

[backtobasicbellas]

paint a picture for you and me (of the days when we were young)

pair: Aubrey Posen/Emily Junk words: 5,086 summary: Emily knows Aubrey is her best friend. Too bad it takes her a little while to figure out there’s more. (or: junksen childhood au!)

Happy birthday to my good pal @rosadiaznypd! You are a fantastic friend and never fail to make me laugh. I’ve never written junksen before but I had to try for u bc i know it’s your fave!! also childhood aus aren’t my strong suit but i hope it didn’t turn out too bad.

ily, have a wonderful birthday friend!!!

Emily likes to think of Aubrey Posen as her first real friend.

When Emily is six, her family moves to Virginia for her father’s new job. There is a blonde girl playing on her scooter when they arrive. She looks a few years older than Emily herself, but the girl is immediately riding over to say hello when Emily hops out of the car.

“I’m Aubrey Posen,” the blonde girl states matter-of-factly. “I’m eight years old.”

Emily’s a shy child, but behind her she sees her mother give her an encouraging nod and smile.

“My name is Emily Junk,” she says quietly, hands behind her back and shoulders hunched. “I’m six.”

Aubrey nods at the information. “Cool, I live over there.”

She points two houses down, where the garage door is wide open and someone - perhaps Aubrey’s father - is organizing shuffling about.

“Would you like to play?”

And Emily nods almost immediately, thinking it’s cool that an eight-year-old would like to play with her. She doesn’t think she knows any other eight-year-olds now that she thinks about it.

Emily’s mother appears with her tricycle and smiles, handing it over.

“Go ahead sweetie,” she tells the young Emily. “Your father and I will be moving things in. Just be home for dinner.”

Emily nods twice in understanding, gripping the handles of her tricycle.

“Come on!” Aubrey calls after her, already kicking away and down the street.

Emily hops on, chasing after her as she laughs.

They’re pretty much inseparable after that.

//

Aubrey has her first kiss when she’s twelve.

She tells Emily about it when she comes over, how it happened when they were riding their bikes to the pizza joint a few blocks away.

Emily thinks it’s gross; ten-year-olds have no such desire to have their first kiss.

“I think it was romantic,” Aubrey tells her. “Don’t worry, you’ll get it when you have yours.”

“I don’t think so.”

(And something about Aubrey having her first kiss upsets Emily, but she won’t understand anything about that until much, much later.)

//

Middle school is an awkward time.

Emily’s like, oddly tall for her age - as in, taller than most of the boys in the sixth grade. She’s lanky and awkward with limbs she’s not quite used to.

And it’s fine, really. Her friends like her anyway, and it makes her a good person to pick for volleyball and basketball during gym class, even if she’s terribly uncoordinated for the most part.

It’s fine until Emily is in the locker room after gym class and she hears a group of girls whispering about what a freak she is, with her long arms and weird height.

“She looks like a freak of nature,” one of them whispers.

Another says, “There’s no way she’ll get a date to the sixth grade dance.”

“Does she even have more than, like two friends?”

Emily can only hear so much before she’s bolting out of the locker room and into the bathroom, tears spilling over her cheeks. She holds the sobs in until she hits the tile floor of the bathroom, immediately making a beeline for the farthest possible stall.

“Emily?” she hears when she’s halfway there.

Despite herself, she turns around with tears just about everywhere. Through her blurry vision she recognizes blonde hair tied up in a high ponytail and the concerned expression of none other than Aubrey.

She doesn’t hesitate to take two steps before she’s collapsing into Aubrey’s arms; Aubrey, who’s just the same height as her and doesn’t ever make her feel weird for being tall. Aubrey wraps her arms around her friend gently, rubbing a hand up and down Emily’s back.

Emily probably smells like sweat from gym class, but Aubrey doesn’t comment on it.

“Em,” Aubrey begins softly. “What’s wrong?”

Through her tears and hiccups, Emily tells her about the girls in the locker room. She can’t stop sobbing, and she just knows Aubrey’s sweater is probably covered in her tears and maybe some snot, but Aubrey doesn’t complain.

“Who are these girls?” Aubrey asks when Emily’s finally calmed down.

“Aubrey,” she frowns. “You don’t have to say anything to them.”

Aubrey’s jaw sets, and Emily recognizes the look immediately: it’s the look Aubrey gets when she’s determined to do something, to not sit by idly. It’s what happens when Aubrey is ready to take control of a situation and face it head on.

Emily swallows nervously because she knows there’s no stopping Aubrey now.

“Who were they?”

Emily sighs and gives in, listing off the girls she heard in the locker room. Aubrey only nods, the warning bell ringing through the speakers.

“Come on,” Aubrey says, guiding Emily over to the sink. “Let’s get you washed up before class.”

(The following day, the girls approach Emily’s locker and begrudgingly apologize, looking at least a little guilty for their comments.

Emily blinks and accepts, and she notices the way they immediately scurry off when Aubrey approaches.

“What did you say to them?” Emily asks, half-impressed, half-worried for the answer.

Aubrey just smiles at her knowingly. “No one messes with my best friend.”

It warms Emily’s heart.)

//

Aubrey goes to high school and suddenly things change.

They’re still best friends - Aubrey promises - but it’s different.

It’s different because suddenly Aubrey doesn’t have time to hang out or listen to music or really, hang out with Emily anymore. She’s busy with various clubs and homework and all her new, cool high school friends.

It’s not personal -  and deep down, Emily knows that - but it still really sucks. After school routines are lonelier without the blonde, and weekends just aren’t as productive or fun. She only ever really sees Aubrey when their families get together, or in passing to and from school.

“It’s okay honey,” her mother tells her when Emily’s pouting in her room because Aubrey is busy yet again. “You’ll be going to school together in just two more years.”

Emily gapes. “That’s so long from now!”

It’s not like Emily’s rushing to be in high school - seventh grade is just fine for her - it’s more like she’s afraid. She’s afraid of Aubrey forgetting her. She’s afraid that once she does get to high school, Aubrey won’t even give her the time of day because she’ll be a junior by then and Emily will just be a lowly freshman she doesn’t want to be seen with.

“I miss seeing you all the time,” Aubrey tells her one day when she finally has the time to hang out. “High school would be more fun with you.”

And Emily tries not to light up too bright at the comment, but she can’t really hide it.

But then Aubrey gets a boyfriend.

She brings him to one of their big family weekend barbeques - one Aubrey actually has the time to show up for, apparently  - and when they walk into the Junk household holding hands something in Emily’s world shifts.

“Emily!” Aubrey says excitedly, tugging her boyfriend along with her. “I want you to meet my boyfriend.”

Emily doesn’t hear much after that - not his name or the introductions or anything. She’s too busy trying to stay upright because Aubrey with a boyfriend is just not something she thought about. He’s kind of scrawny and has that disheveled look that girls love for some reason. He’s offering Emily a small smile and really, Emily has no right to judge him, but it’s just not sitting well with her.

Three hours later, when Emily is still trying to wrap her mind around it, her mother tells her she looks sick.

“It must be all the barbeque,” Emily offers with a weak chuckle because Aubrey and her boyfriend are on the couch opposite of her.

Her mother shakes her head and smiles. “Go easy next time, kid.”

And Emily grows irritated with her mom for calling her “kid.” Usually it’s no problem - because she is her mother’s kid after all - but did she really have to say that in front of Aubrey and her new boyfriend?

Aubrey laughs and smiles at Emily, like she always has, and Emily feels at peace knowing Aubrey is still Aubrey, her best friend.

(It doesn’t last longer than a few months, but those few months Emily literally never sees Aubrey.

Emily’s house is the first place she runs to when they break up though, and Emily rubs her back and gives her tissues and lets brings her ice cream just like a best friend does.

She doesn’t once think about how relieved she is that they’re no longer together.)

//

Emily gets to high school and realizes she has a problem.

She transitions just fine; she made the junior varsity soccer team her freshman year and then varsity the following season, joined an art club, and made tons of friends. She and Aubrey hang out more regularly now that they see each other at school and she often invites Emily to hang out with her older friends.

High school is not the problem.

The problem is she’s pretty sure she’s in love with her best friend Aubrey Posen.

It’s not an immediate and sudden realization, not at all. It’s more quiet and subtle, like the more she begins to spend time with Aubrey again, the more things fit into place.

Aubrey drives them both to school and always stops at the donut shop on the way because Emily loves the pink sprinkled donuts. She sings in the car loudly and without reserve, and Emily  is mesmerized by how carefree and happy she is in these moments. Aubrey will call her name down the hall of their school and smile at her like she’s the only things that matters.

And sure, there are boys who try to flirt with Aubrey, but it’s very clear she’s focused on her studies, the numerous clubs she’s enrolled and holds positions in, on top of being Vice President of student council. But Aubrey always has time for Emily.

Emily finds Aubrey in the stands at most of her games, cheering and giving Emily a thumbs up. They listen to songs together and make playlists for when they drive, both of them trying to outsing the other at times. Sometimes, when they’re laying in Emily’s bed instead of doing homework, Emily thinks she wants to spend the rest of her life with Aubrey.

As long as Aubrey is by her side, she’ll be okay.

And plus, Emily has eyes. It’s very evident that puberty has done nothing but good things for Aubrey - Emily thinks she was pretty before that anyway - but still. Aubrey’s grown up and beautiful and honestly, sometimes she takes Emily’s breath away.

Not to be dramatic, though.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

Emily blinks, unaware she’d been staring. They’re laying in Emily’s bed listening to music, fairy lights bright as they dance across Emily’s walls.

“Huh?”

“You were looking at me weird,” Aubrey informs her.

“Uh,” Emily shrugs. “I don’t know. I’m just…glad you’re my best friend.”

It’s the best truth that she can come up with without giving away too much.

Aubrey softens at her comment and replies, “I’m glad you’re my best friend, too.”

She scoots over and wraps her arms around Emily, head resting against the younger girl’s shoulder. Aubrey softly sings along to the words of the song, but all Emily can do is remind herself to breathe.

//

This “being in love with your best friend” thing is really getting out of hand.

Emily thinks she might burst at any moment.

Aubrey is accepted to Barden University which is all the way in Georgia - as in, kind of far away from Emily.

At first, Emily is crushed. Aubrey had also gotten into the University of Virginia, but she said something about Barden spoke to her - whatever that means - and the decision had been made. Aubrey will no longer be just two houses down. They won’t even be in the same state. Aubrey will go make new friends and new memories and this time Emily feels like she can’t keep a place in Aubrey’s life with all these changes.

But then again, maybe Aubrey leaving is a good thing.

Emily can’t handle being in love with her best friend all that much longer. She can’t handle the soft gazes Aubrey gives her when Emily says something cheesy or the fact Aubrey’s voice is literally her favorite sound. She can’t handle the way Aubrey looks so good every day, and how she smiles at Emily like she’s the reason for that smile in the first place.

So yeah, Aubrey moving is good.

She sits in the stands of her high school stadium, cheering loud along with the rest of her family and Aubrey’s parents when her best friend walks across the stage. Aubrey gives her a tight hug after, laughing and vibrant and happy.

It’s inevitable that they spend almost every day of the summer together.

(After all, Aubrey is set to move in early at Barden.

“I want the total college experience,” Aubrey tells her seriously.)

Whether it’s swimming in Emily’s backyard or going to a baseball game, they are practically inseparable.

And Emily loves it because Aubrey is hers and hers alone, even if their days are numbered. It looms in the back of her mind, a countdown of when Aubrey leaves and Emily stays.

Their favorite activity is to lay in Aubrey’s backyard and gaze up at the stars. Aubrey doesn’t know much about the stars and space, but it’s Emily’s guilty pleasure and she gleefully fills her in on constellations and anything else she can think of.

There are two days left before Aubrey leaves and this time they sit in silence.

At least, they do for awhile.

“Are you scared?” Emily asks.

Aubrey turns her to head to face her.

“I think I’m more excited than anything,” she admits. “But being away from home will be hard.”

Emily nods, words stuck in her throat.

“You’re going to have so much fun,” she tells her.

“I hope so.”

“Don’t forget me, though.”

It comes out teasing and light, playful like Emily’s whole demeanor most of the time. But Aubrey tilts her head ever so slightly and dawns the most miniscule frown.

“I could never forget you Em,” she promises. “You’re my best friend.”

And it’s not what Emily wants, but it’s good enough for now.

She’s sixteen and the person she’s in love with is moving away and starting a new life without her.

She knows there are worse tragedies in the world.

(This one still sucks, though.)

//

Emily is a senior when her parents let her go to Georgia for spring break and visit Aubrey.

She’s still in love with Aubrey, if anyone is wondering.

It’s not so bad when she’s away. In fact, Emily thinks she’s well over her, but as soon as Aubrey comes home and gives Emily that smile and opens her arms for a hug, she knows she’s a goner.

(Honestly, Emily’s more than a little hesitant about this trip in the first place.

Not only does she have to worry about being in close proximity to Aubrey, she has to worry about Aubrey’s completely new life in Barden. Sure, Aubrey tells her stories and shows her pictures and funny videos, but it’s completely foreign to Emily if she’s being honest. Aubrey’s best friend and roommate, Chloe, seems like a fun time, but will they all get along?)

To no one’s surprise, Emily all but melts when Aubrey’s face lights up at her arrival at her apartment in Georgia, pulling her into a crushing hug and telling her she’s so excited for her to be here.

“I’ve missed you so much,” Aubrey gushes into Emily’s hair. “Finally, you get to experience Barden with me.”

“I missed you too,” Emily responds, trying very hard not to beam at the sentiment.

“We have a guest!” someone sing-songs, and Emily pulls away from Aubrey to see the redhead she recognizes from Aubrey’s photos enter.

Aubrey grins, turning to Chloe as she keeps an arm on Emily’s shoulder. “This is my best friend from home, Emily. Em, this is my roommate and first-ever college friend, Chloe.”

“Hi!”

Chloe gives her a friendly smile and welcoming hug. Emily is surprised, but pleased with it.

“Emily I’ve heard so much about you!” Chloe says as she pulls away. “I’m so glad you’re spending the week with us.”

Emily tries not to think too hard about the fact Aubrey talks about her to her college friends. Instead she gives Chloe a smile of her own.

“I’ve heard so much about you too,” she tells her. “I’m so excited.”

And honestly, Emily kind of has the time of her life at Barden.

She loves the school and the people, and honestly she can see herself here.

With Aubrey.

She meets a lot of Aubrey’s other friends, and though she can’t keep up with who’s who, she remembers Stacie the most.

Aubrey says she’s basically a genius; Chloe says she’s her partner in crime at parties.

Stacie just laughs and tells Emily it’s nice to meet her.

Stacie is a freshman and she’s tall, gorgeous, incredibly friendly, and borderline flirtatious with just about everyone. Emily is left flustered and unaware of what to do or say around her.

(She is everything Emily - tall, awkward, dorky - wishes she could be.)

“So Emily,” Stacie says over dinner one night. “Are you planning on coming to Barden in the fall.”

Emily wants to say yes, but she shrugs. “Maybe. I’m still getting acceptance letters from other schools.”

Aubrey nudges her playfully and tells Stacie, “She’s thinking about the north east, says she wants to keep her options open.”

Emily shrugs sheepishly.

“I grew up in that area,” Stacie tells her. “It’s pretty cool.”

Aubrey smacks her gently. “Stacie! Don’t take her away from us.”

“Yeah!” Chloe pipes up, motioning to Emily. “Don’t you want this adorable little freshman face on campus next year?”

Stacie laughs and offers a shrug. “You’ll do whatever feels right,” she tells Emily. “Don’t worry.”

And Emily decides she loves Stacie.

Until she doesn’t.

She wakes up one morning earlier than usual and sits up from the pull out couch. She rubs her eyes tiredly and scoots off the couch before making her way to the kitchen. She’s rubbing an eye when she freezes at the counter.

Emily really hopes she’s dreaming.

Aubrey and Stacie are in the corner, but Stacie has Aubrey pinned against the counter, her fingers running down Aubrey’s side until the hook onto the bottom of her shirt. Stacie is kissing Aubrey’s neck and Aubrey’s eyes are closed, but Emily can see the smile on her face.

Emily can only watch while she vaguely feels something crumbling inside of her.

Stacie pulls away from Aubrey’s neck and leans in, meeting Aubrey’s lips. Aubrey’s hands come up and hold either side of Stacie’s face ever so gently, like she’s holding precious cargo.

When they pull away, they are both smiling at each other.

That is, until Aubrey’s gaze shifts and she notices Emily.

“Uh,” Emily begins.

Stacie turns and Aubrey is quickly scooting away from her.

“Oh morning,” Stacie nods at her.

“I didn’t know you were awake,” Aubrey says at the same time.

“I just woke up,” Emily explains, unsure how she’s able to speak when everything inside of her is falling apart. “I didn’t mean to…”

“You didn’t,” Aubrey promises. “I...can I talk to you in my room?”

Emily nods, following Aubrey out of the kitchen.

She avoids Aubrey’s eyes, sitting at the edge of her bed awkwardly until Aubrey shuts the door.

“Emily.”

“You didn’t tell me you…” Emily begins, looking at her knees. “I didn’t know Stacie was your girlfriend, or whatever.”

Aubrey sighs, taking a seat next to Emily. “I wanted to tell you,” she says. “I swear. I just...This is really new for me, okay? Stacie and I, we just started dating. It’s new and I’m still trying to figure it out.”

Emily is quiet for a long time. She can feel Aubrey growing anxious for her answer.

“I’m your best friend,” Emily says, finally looking at her. “I would never be mad about something like this.”

She leaves out the part where she likes girls too, because, well, she’s not ready to have that conversation.

“I know,” Aubrey insists. “It’s just...scary? I know you’re my best friend, but I’m so scared of losing you. Em, I...I wanted to tell you. I just needed to find the right time.”

“Well it’s out there now.”

It’s a little more bitter than intended, but it’s too late to take it back.

“I’m sorry,” Aubrey says quietly. “I didn’t want you to find out like that - I just, I wanted you to like Stacie because she’s like, amazing, and I wanted her to like you because you’re my favorite person and-”

She sighs, shaking her head.

“You hate me.”

Emily is immediately shaking her head.

“No,” she says firmly. “No, Aubrey I could never hate you. I’m just...upset you didn’t tell me.”

And they leave it at that because Aubrey hugs her and Emily tries not to cry, not here because she knows the questions will come and she doesn’t think she can lie to Aubrey, not like this.

(Emily’s decision is clear when she returns home and two days later Aubrey posts a grossly adorable couple photo of herself and Stacie.

She enrolls into Northeastern University, away from her family and friends and everything that reminds her of Aubrey.)

//

College is freeing.

Emily gets why Aubrey loves Barden so much; she feels the same way at Northeastern.

(Not that she and Aubrey talk all the time anymore.

No, Emily has finally learned to not come to her knees for the blonde, to live on her own.)

She makes the a capella group on campus - they’re really good - and she does things like wander around the city of Boston and go out to parties when she’s feeling up to it and everything is great.

She dates a boy named Benji. He’s a total nerd, but he’s very sweet and endlessly interesting.

She and Aubrey text sometimes, but Boston is so far from Virginia and Georgia and Aubrey and Stacie that Emily can’t find as much time for it anymore.

(Aubrey texts her during Emily’s sophomore year to let her know she and Stacie broke up.

Emily tells her she’s sorry and that she’s always there for her.)

//

Aubrey goes home the spring break after she and Stacie break up.

Emily goes with her new friend Beca to Portland.

They don’t talk.

Emily doesn’t make it to Aubrey’s graduation this time.

//

Emily is a few months into her junior year when Aubrey calls.

It’s crazy, really.

Aubrey’s been hired by some firm in Boston and she asks for recommendations on places to live.

Emily’s dumb mouth opens and says she can move in with her.

But she’s over her, she swears.

(Really, it makes sense.

Beca just got a job offer from some record company in Los Angeles and will move out at the end of the month. It’s her dream and Emily is happy for her, but she’ll miss her best friend.

Benji is...no longer a factor.

Their breakup was mutual and at least they’re still good friends.)

Aubrey moves in and suddenly there’s a shift.

Things are like they used to be, except this time they’re older and Emily is studying while Aubrey goes over case files and they live together now.

And somehow, it feels like nothing has changed.

This time though, Emily feels like she can breathe around Aubrey.

They sing and dance around their apartment on Friday nights. Emily drags Aubrey to a karaoke joint she found last year. Aubrey helps Emily with her acapella group’s arrangements. Everything is right.

It’s just Aubrey, her best friend again.

//

Living with Aubrey is easy.

Aubrey wakes up way before Emily and goes on a run. When she comes back, she has a pink sprinkled donut and two iced coffees waiting as Emily slowly emerges from her bedroom.

They order Chinese takeout and watch whatever they have on DVR together with a glass of wine or two. They go to the shelter to look at dogs and Aubrey has to drag Emily away every time because “We don’t have the time to take care of one, Em! We’re too busy.”

Aubrey helps Emily study her psychology terms and Emily entertains her by listening to Aubrey go on and on about the details of cases she’s definitely not supposed to be telling Emily about.

Emily knows exactly what Aubrey needs from the grocery store when she has to do solo runs, and she knows that Aubrey likes her hot chocolate with exactly two marshmallows dropped in.

And it doesn’t take long for Emily to realize she’s back again.

She is totally in love with her best friend Aubrey Posen once more.

(But really, did she ever stop?)

Aubrey lights up when she sees Emily at the end of a long work day. She laughs when Emily puts on performances for her when her favorite song comes on. She softens when Emily is sleepy and curled into her side, refusing to go to bed because “I wanna see how this episode ends.”

It’s almost too much, how Aubrey looks at Emily like she’s the reason for every smile and laugh and warm look.

And it’s impossible, because Emily has known for the longest time that Aubrey does not love her the way Emily loves Aubrey.

She just doesn’t.

And Emily has grown to be okay with it, really. If she can’t be what she wants, at least she has Aubrey in this way.

This is why she asks, “Bree, why haven’t you dated anyone out here?”

Aubrey lets out a long sigh, leaning back onto their couch. “Work kills me, you know.”

Emily gives her a look because she knows better and Aubrey gives in.

“I know I have everything I need here.”

Aubrey doesn’t elaborate, but Emily is left feeling warm at the pit of her stomach and she tries to tell herself not to read into it too much.

//

Emily has had a long day.

Her child psychology exam kicked her ass. There was a pop quiz in her developmental behavior class which she forgot to do the reading for. Acapella rehearsals ran long and really it devolved into everyone arguing on which arrangement would fit best for their upcoming performances.

So it is no surprise that tonight’s Chinese takeout is paired with a big bottle of wine and promises of no classes tomorrow.

She is five - maybe six? - glasses in and definitely more intoxicated than she’d like to be, but she and Aubrey are on the floor drunk and giggling like idiots. There is a show playing on their TV, but they can’t remember the name.

They’re silent for a moment and then Aubrey turns her head to look at Emily.

The room is dim and Emily feels very warm from the alcohol, but she can’t shake Aubrey’s gaze. She opens her mouth to ask Aubrey what she’s staring at when Aubrey speaks.

“I love you.”

Emily immediately looks at her, eyes wide and panicked.

“What?”

Aubrey sits up, nodding. “I love you, Em.”

Emily is scrambling to also sit up, placing her wine glass on the coffee table before she look at Aubrey, almost urgently.

“Aubrey,” she begins, trying to keep her voice even. “I need you to be more specific.”

Aubrey just laughs, and Emily is hopelessly confused before Aubrey is tugging her by the front of her hoodie and pulling her in for a kiss.

Emily feels all sorts of emotions right now, but the feeling of Aubrey’s lips against hers grounds her. She is too shell shocked to do anything about it, except pull away.

This cannot be happening.

She is quickly sobering up and the truth of this situation is sitting her like cold water to her face.

“Aubrey please,” she says, shaking her head. “We’re drunk and I - I can’t do this, Bree. I can’t do this because we’re drunk and you don’t love me, not like that.”

“But I do,” Aubrey tells her matter-of-factly. “Em, I was in love with when you were running around on that soccer field in high school and singing at the top of your lungs on the way to school. I’m still in love with you in this moment. Can’t you see that now?”

And it makes sense, kind of.

How simply existing with Aubrey now is almost like breathing; it’s second nature. How Aubrey hasn’t dated a single person since arriving to Boston when Emily knows she’s been asked on dates. How Aubrey always looks at her like she’s the only person that ever matters, that waking up to see Emily exit her room every morning is enough to make her day.

But Emily is dumbfounded, unsure of herself.

Aubrey lets out a soft chuckle. “Why do you think I didn’t tell you about Stacie in college? Or why I was so afraid of losing you when I started dating her?”

“Because I’m your best friend?” Emily guesses.

Aubrey gives her a fond and exasperated look before laughing.

“You’re my best friend,” she confirms, but leans in as she adds, “And because I’m in love with you, you big dork.”

And when Aubrey kisses her again, Emily kisses her back this time. She lets her know that she has always been in love with her too, that this has always been what she’d hoped for but thought she could never have. Emily kisses her with so much that she’s left breathless as they make out on the floor of their living room.

When they pull away, Emily asks in between breaths, “This...this is real, right?”

Aubrey laughs, so soft and beautiful, and nods. “This is real.”

(Emily wakes up in Aubrey’s bed and wastes the morning away curled up under the covers and trading kisses.

Aubrey’s eyes shine like they always have for Emily, but this time Emily makes no mistake.

She knows Aubrey looks at her like that because she looks at Emily and feels love and affection and like she’s home with her.

Emily knows because this is how Emily has looked at Aubrey her whole life.

They are finally, finally on the same page.)

[canyousevmyheavydirtysoul]

Acceptance. (Tyler Joseph/Josh Dun x Non-Binary Reader)

Note: A wonderful person, who has asked to remain anonymous, requested this a long time ago. Apologies for taking so long to get to it, but I hope it’s up to scratch. X

‘if you could do a like a coming out as nonbinary to Tyler and Josh, being scared they won’t accept you bc they’re Christians’

 “You’re… what?”

Willing yourself to ignore the golf ball-sized lump that had formed in your throat, you inhaled deeply and forced your lips to repeat the words that had caused the looks of disdain you were currently receiving from your two best friends.

“Non-binary,” you repeated, avoiding both of their gazes and crossing your arms over your torso, hugging yourself.

“Seriously?” Tyler pressed as he leaned forward with raised brows; his reaction made you wish you’d never instigated this conversation.

“Yes,” you concurred with a small nod, “I’m very serious.”

“Oh, wow,” Josh breathed softly, rubbing the back of his head and looking down.

“Yup,” you remarked, popping the ‘p’ and still diverting your gaze away from the two of them.

The atmosphere in the room was undoubtedly tense and incredibly uncomfortable – no one was moving or saying a word – and you found yourself genuinely contemplating running away and never coming back.

At long last, a second before you were about to implode from anxiety, Tyler spoke up. His words, however, was not the relief you were so desperately searching for. On the contrary – it broke your heart.

“(Y/N),” he started with a sigh, rubbing his hands over his face before taking a seat and placing them on his knees, “there’s no easy way to say this.”

You felt your stomach drop, and you had to collapse onto a nearby seat before the spinning in your head made you faint. Nothing good could come from what Tyler was about to say – you knew this for a fact – and it was all you could do to prepare yourself for the inevitable stream of tears that would soon be cascading down your cheeks.

“We can’t be friends anymore.”

There it was. You knew it was coming, but that knowledge did nothing to soften the blow, and you felt as if the wind had been knocked out of you.

Despite your best efforts, you couldn’t prevent the sobs that wracked your body, and as you slipped down further into the sofa, you shut your eyes as you felt your heart shatter a million times over.

~

You woke up with a start; your entire body jerking as your nightmare drew to a close and you opened your eyes to the dim glow of the sunrise.

Closing your eyes, you heaved a sigh of relief when you realised that your nightmare was just that – a nightmare. It wasn’t real life, and you did not just lose your two best friends.

Your body was flushed with heat, and that coupled with the added warmth from your duvet was beginning to make you feel claustrophobic, so you made quick work of getting out of bed and opening the bedroom windows.

The first gush of fresh air felt glorious against your blushing skin and you felt your taut muscles start to loosen. Your mind was not put at ease as simply as that, though. It was reeling with thoughts and emotions from your nightmare, as had become customary over the last few weeks. It wasn’t the first time you’d suffered through that particular horrendous dream; once you had made the cognizant decision that you would come out to Tyler and Josh, your sub-conscious had taken on the challenge of preventing you from doing just that. Although, truth be told, it wasn’t much of a challenge, considering you had been hesitant all along; the nightmares were only cementing that apprehensiveness.

You wanted to come out to them. They were arguably the two people you were closest with and keeping such a thing hidden from them just seemed wrong.

But you were terrified.

They had never given reason for you to be fearful that they would not support you, yet you worried still. It was common knowledge that Tyler and Josh were Christians, incredibly devoted ones at that, and it was because of this that your fretfulness had materialized. You weren’t sure whether or not they would accept you, and the uncertainty was the only thing keeping you from telling them.

However, your anxieties, uncertainty and fear would all have to take a back seat to your courage today, because as you looked out at extraordinarily gorgeous sunrise, you were filled with enchantment, and decided that today was the day.

In a couple of hours, you would come out to Tyler and Josh.

~

As you sat on the edge of your couch, twiddling your thumbs, all you could think about was the gravity of the situation you had talked yourself into. There was no way to know for sure what the implications would be, and there was currently not much time to dwell on it, since the sharp sound of knuckles rapping against wood sounded throughout the room. You returned to your seat ten seconds later, a smiling Josh and hyper Tyler by your side.

Friendly conversation was made; they spoke about their music, you listened and offered your input where necessary. Talks like these between the three of you would often last for a solid hour, if not more, and today, you were incredibly grateful for that fact; it prolonged the preparation time of the recipe for disaster you were cooking up.

Your gratefulness ran dry, however, when Tyler asked how things were going with you.

Shit.

Now that the topic of the conversation had been changed from their life to yours, the window of opportunity for you to reveal all had opened up. Unfortunately, along with that open window came the air of anxiety, clouding your mind and suffocating your thoughts.

“I’m…” a tiny groan of frustration followed that lone syllable, and you were left to chew the inside of your cheek and aimlessly tug at the baby hairs framing your face as you struggled to find your train of thought. Problem was, that train had chosen to run itself off the track the minute the musicians walked through your front door.

“Quarter million words in the English language, (Y/N),” Tyler piped up, taking in your over-contemplative state, “Pretty sure at least one of those could describe how you’re feeling.”

“Speriat.”

Both guys scrunched up their faces at the foreign word.

“Or not, I guess,” Tyler mumbled.

“Listen,” you spoke up, finding your footing and deciding to take the leap off of the cliff into the obscure waters below. “I have something to tell you guys.”

There was no room for lifesavers now; it was sink or swim.

“There’s not many people who know about this – maybe, like, two at most – so it’s a pretty big deal. I haven’t been open about it to everyone because, well, for starters, I don’t trust everyone as much as I trust you two – and the other two that I’ve told. And secondly, I’m afraid of how people will react. It’s not a minor thing, ya know? It’s a lot to take in and not something that can just be adapted to overnight. I know that most would just see it as not worth the trouble of understanding and accepting, and chose to rather cut me off. I’m not going to lie – I’ve thought of you guys doing exactly that, once I tell you. I really hope you won’t, but I do realize that it’s a possibility, and quite a strong one at that. But whatever happens, whatever the outcome of this conversation is, whether you accept it or not… it’s something that I have to do. You two have had such a major impact on my life and you’ve become such a huge part of it; I can’t keep this from you any longer.”

Tyler and Josh sat in complete silence, their wide eyes and slight hunch forward a clear indication that they were hanging onto your every word – ears eager to hear what you had to say, minds open to anything and everything, and hearts ready to accept and love you more than they ever had before.

With a deep breath, you submerged yourself into the icy depths below.

“I’m non-binary.”

You stopped breathing at that point, watching their faces intently for hints of disgust, disdain, disapproval, or any sign to indicate that your friendship was about suffer extinction, but no such signal was given off.

“As in…”

“I don’t see myself as male or female, exclusively,” you explained to your captive audience, “I’m just,” you shrugged a little, “me. They/them pronouns, if you will. But I know that this is a lot to take in, and I don’t expect you to suddenly change the way you are with me. I’m alright with you guys addressing me like you always have.” Noticing the presumptuous nature of your mini-speech, you backtracked a bit. “If you accept me, that is.”

That earned you a double-whammy of frowns.

“We love you,” Josh said, a hint of amusement on his lips, “Why wouldn’t we accept you?”

You shifted uncomfortably, rubbing your arm. “I don’t know. I mean, I do know,” you sighed, “You guys are Christian.”

“Yeah, and?” Tyler narrowed his eyes in perplexity, not exactly getting what you were hinting at.

“Isn’t it, like, not allowed for us to be friends now?”

The boys chuckled. You raised your brows.

“See,” Tyler pointed a finger at you and arched one brow, “that’s where most people go wrong. They think that Christianity is all about how you can’t do this or you can’t do that…”

“Or you’re wrong because you accept this, and it’s only right if you accept that…” Josh added.

“When in actuality,” Tyler continued, “it’s not like that at all. The most important thing about being a Christian is your relationship with God, but even above that, it’s all about love. God loved us so much that he gave us his only son – the ultimate act of love. And as Christians, it’s our duty to love. Love everything, love one another. Being Christian is not about telling people how to live, or rejecting them and casting them out because they’re gay, or transgender, or a different religion. It’s about loving everyone, no matter how different they are or how they chose to live, even if they’ve wronged you. You forgive, you move on, and you love.”

“So to answer your question, no, it’s not not allowed for us to be friends,” Josh concluded with a smile, “And it was silly of you to think that we wouldn’t accept you. Sorry, but you’re stuck with us. For a very long time.”

No verbal reaction seemed appropriate enough, so you opted for the most obvious reaction.

You cried. You’d hugged the two band members countless times over the course of the past few years, but none of them carried even a smidgen of the amount of love, acceptance and comfort as the one you were just embraced with. They hadn’t said another word to you; they simply got up and wrapped themselves around you in consolation.

Their gesture – along with their bodies and the way that they had formed a barrier around you, both literal and figurative – conveyed everything they wanted to say; they were there for you, they loved you, and they would protect you from anyone and anything that dared to challenge your happiness and self-acceptance.

And honestly, that was all you could’ve asked for. _______________________________

Thank you for reading x

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