#and then four minutes later “*BILLIE EILISH????*”

[pactw]

my favourite part of this cellbit stream was when he was trying to find a song with the right vibes for deciphering an arg riddle in his secret detective bunker, so he started blasting The Black Parade by MCR

[angelsforthenight]

i could eat that girl for lunch… (ellie williams)

ways you can help gaza🇵🇸

summary: you post cute pictures on your story in the hopes of gaining a certain girl’s attention… luckily you get more than what you anticipated ;)

cw: mdni, fem!reader, texting, cunnilingus, desperate top!ellie, teasing sub!reader, cannibalistic metaphors, cursing, ellie is goofy lmao

you’re this close to screaming. the winged eyeliner on your left eye somehow keeps fucking up; either looking too splotchy or shorter than your right one. what’s pissing you off the most is the fact that you aren’t even going anywhere… getting all dolled up just to take it all off in 15 minutes, just to post cute little photos on your story and, of course, just to get her attention.

ellie williams. the name rolled off your tongue with such velvety sleek. every single one of your friends knows her name; has had to endure through your countless obsessive gushes.

you two had met during a party. having been in a drunken haze, you barely remember the first conversation that sparked such an interest, but you do remember her gin breath against your ear: asking/shouting, amidst the blaring music, if you had wanted to go somewhere a little more quieter. the night ended up in you being fingered in her car, before being driven back home by her. a freckle-faced angel in a leather jacket coated with small pins and badges. you were immediately hooked. but it’s been a week since then, and you two haven’t spoken. having achieved her number, you thought of messaging, but didn’t want to come across as desperate, even though you so are.

you thank instagram suggested for bringing you her account on a platter; being filled with niche, introverted posts of every cool-looking thing but her face. she doesn’t even have a “me” highlights! you can’t tell if her lack in posting her face is a blessing or a curse. so here you are, getting ready to post on your story since you followed her the day before. the skin around your eye is starting to sting by the amount of times you’ve been wiping and restarting your eyeliner. it needs to be perfect. you’ve orchestrated all this to be perfect. you take a deep breath and focus, striving to get the perfect wing.

“thank fuck.” you murmur under your breath once you finally get it right, before enveloping your lips in lipstick. you admire yourself in the mirror once done. you look fucking amazing.

since you spent way too long putting on your makeup, it wouldn’t be fair to yourself to only post one picture, so you post a couple. a mirror picture following up a layout of 4 images with the perfect song in the background. a little smile tugs at your lips as you replay the story two, three, four times before setting it on do not disturb and finding something else to do. your heart pounds at the thought of ellie seeing it, praying that she’ll interact. even a simple like will do.

after removing your makeup and getting into your pyjamas, you click on a movie to pass time, setting your phone on do not disturb. half an hour passes, and you’ve been neurotically checking your phone for a sign of ellie to appear on your notifications, but nothing. you check your story to see if she’s seen it but again, nothing. another hour passes, and you check for any sign of ellie. nada. look at my story, you freak! are the words etched in your head, words you wished you could telepathically scream at her. you remember you set your phone on do not disturb for a reason, so you place it far away and focus on finishing the film.

a while later, you’re slumped on your couch on the verge of falling asleep. the movie’s ended and it was so boring that you’re finding it hard to keep your eyes open. you decide to check your do not disturb notifications one last time before taking a nap, until your eyes fall on the name ‘ellie.’ you immediately jerk up, awake and alert: your thumb automatically pressing the notification centre so you can see what it reads.

seventeen minutes ago.

ellie liked your story

ellie liked your story

ellie replied to your story: doll face

ellie replied to your story: you need a seat? lemme volunteer 🙏🙏

a shit-eating grin lights up your face. fucking finally! not once but twice! you excitedly draw your knees up to your chest, eager fingers tapping away, ready to respond - regardless of how long you’d been waiting for her texts. play it cool….

y/n: hahaha thank u thank u <3

y/n: (replied) oh word?

you’re surprised and very happy when you see the ‘typing…’ your heart doing goddamn backflips.

ellie: wooooord

ellie: literally cannot stop replaying ur story… bring that over here 🙁

ellie: come over

!!! your heart sinks all the way down to your ass. the hell does she mean come over?

y/n: ur not serious lmaoaoaooa

ellie: i’m being deadass,,, come over.

you look at the time. it’s almost 1 in the morning.

y/n: idek where u live bru😭😭😭😭

y/n: if anything you should come over since you’ve driven me to my house b4

ellie: mmm nahhhh

you blink in disbelief when ellie sends her location over. she’s not kidding.

y/n: girl i look bummy… i don’t even have any makeup on anymore :< took it off

ellie: i really don’t care

ellie: plsplspsls come over

ellie: u won’t regret it……………. trust 🤓🤓

next thing you know you’re leaving your house in your plaid shorts and a silly graphic tee. thankfully, ellie only lives 10 minutes away, so you take a bus before walking up to her apartment.

y/n: i’m cominggg

ellie: LOL yeaa you will be coming real soon 😇😇😇

though you cringe at her text, your body betrays you; your stomach forming a deep pit. she’s so sultry and playful you don’t know even know what to think. and there goes your heart again, hastily beating away like there’s no tomorrow. you reach the door, a trembling hand raising up to knock.

“hi.” ellie beams, smiling like an idiot. her eyes seize you from head to toe, “nice fit.”

“told you i looked bummy...” you mumbled, trying your best not to seem nervous. ellie moves aside so you can come in. her apartment smells exactly like she does; that faint campfire scent, conjoined with a forest-ey musk. a forest fire you were more than willing to burn in.

“so…“ you begin, with nothing prepared to follow up after that.

“sooooooo….” ellie repeats blithely.

“it’s been a week since… you know…” you whisper, awkwardly shifting your legs.

“since…?” ellie blinks, furrowing her eyebrows. she’s taunting you, trying to play innocent when it’s pretty fucking obvious what you’re on about.

“the party.” you respond, entertaining her coyness for no reason.

“party?” ellie pretends to think, looking up at nothing. “oh!! yeah… jesse’s one.” she smirks.

you smirk back, furrowing your eyebrows in amusement. “you could do so much better at playing dumb, y’know…”

“you think so?” ellie narrows her eyes, tilting her head as she steps closer. the impish smirk on her face never leaves. she’s having fun. you both are.

“yup. for your own good, don’t choose acting as a career.”

“for my own good?”

“for your own good.” you haven’t even realised how close you two are to each other now, daring eyes locked with another pair of daring eyes. takes one to know one. a silence permeated with tension fills the room.

“c’mere…” ellie finally mumbles before cupping your face with both hands and bringing you in for a kiss. you’re quick to melt in her grasp, your hand finding it’s way to ellie’s hair, giving it a playful tight squeeze that elicits a quiet groan from her. her hands, those goddamn hands, then move to your waist, pulling you closer. you two don’t even waste time before you’re making out with such fervor. save the sweetness for later, it’s the hunger that’s on display for now. the memory of her lips were starting to slip away from your mind and you’re glad you’re here to reboot it.

once you pull away, ellie’s eyes drift to something behind you. you follow her gaze, only for your eyes to land on a chair in the middle of the goddamn living room. it’s so random that you can’t help but burst out laughing.

“why is there a chair?” you ask in the midst of your laughing fit. it’s not even that funny, but the laughing is helping with your nerves.

“it’s for you.” ellie giggles too, a light pink tint on her cheeks that’s hard to miss.

“me?” you blink rapidly, your gaze darting from the chair to ellie, “do i sit?” you ask stupidly.

“no, you stand.” sarcasm laces her tone, as she giggles a little more, “go sit.”

“don’t order me around like i’m your dog.” you respond playfully, but you do as she says. despite your ‘tough’ front, you’d do anything she’d tell you to. guess she was being literal about offering you a seat…

ellie grins down at you, angling your chin up so you’re looking at her. you can feel the heat start to prickle in your face, down your neck and pervading the rest of your body. her thumb traces along your bottom lip, slightly dragging it down. there’s that same darkened look she had back in her car, one that makes you feel so small.

“so cute… like a human deer.” she murmurs distractedly, almost like she’s talking to herself instead of you. your head grows fuzzy, blushing even more. you mindlessly squeeze your thighs together, trying to ease the growing heat in between. ellie notices.

“you doing okay?” she softly asks, unable to mask the smug look on her face. you nod quietly. with her eyes kept on you, she lowers down until she’s on her knees, her smile growing. she kisses the top of both your kneecaps in such a tender way it sends tingles down your spine.

“can i eat you?” she breathes, her voice hollow and needy. it takes a second for those words to register in your brain.

“you…” you trail off. ellie’s gaze is very, very distracting. so intense and intrusive. she patiently waits for your answer, resting her chin on top of your knees. how can someone look so adorable and intimidating at the same time?

“please?” she adds, and you smile. a realisation has just dawned on you: you like to make her wait.

“eat me?” you cock your head to the side in feigned confusion. now it’s your turn to play dumb.

“yeah… like, your pussy.” ellie mumbles, becoming so desperate that it’s funny. she needed to be humbled at least a little. “i want a taste…”

“yeah?” you mock, and ellie’s face warps into a frown. “stop teasing me.”

“it’s only payback.” you shrug.

“for what?” ellie whines.

“for taking a week to text me.”

ellie stares at you for a moment. “then let me make it up to you…” her eyes travel down to your clamped thighs, wanting to open them up so bad. truth is, you’d let her devour you. chew you up like a deranged creature and watch her greedily lick the blood from her fingers. but teasing her was just so damn fun.

“aren’t your knees getting tired?” you tease, cupping the side of her face as she stares up at you with puppy eyes. it’s getting hard to resist. ellie immediately shakes her head.

“for you? never.” she whispers. your grin broadens in satisfaction. such sweet words. meaningless? maybe, but cute nonetheless.

“fine…” you sigh, leaning back and gesturing for ellie to go forth. ellie’s face lights up like a bulb, eagerly parting your legs. the movement makes you shiver, as you can feel the heated moisture of your arousal seep through your underwear. despite your shorts still being on, ellie’s lips travel up, both hands gripping your sides as her lips leave fond, wet kisses along your inner thigh. her teeth clench around the hem of your shorts, letting out a muffled chuckle as she playfully pulls your shorts down with her teeth. she’s kidding around but that’s one of the hottest things you’ve ever seen in your life.

you adjust your knees so that your shorts can be pulled down. you’re so wet your underwear is fucking see-through. you just know she’s about to say something.

“someone’s real excited-“

“shut up and keep going.” you hastily cut her off out of embarrassment. ellie laughs, glancing at you one more time before leaning back down again, dragging her ardent tongue up your inner thigh. you gasp quietly, and that little noise influences her to do more, letting out a sigh of her own; the sort of sigh you do when relaxing in a hot bath, or when pissing after holding it in for so long… like she’s needed this. you’re startled when ellie drags her tongue right in the center of your clothed heat, your breath hitching. you want more.

ellie’s teasing is relentless and mean. she sucks your clit through your underwear, eyes on you; observing the way your hips are desperately buckling up, the way your thighs are twitching.

“so mean…” you whine as ellie flicks and rolls her tongue against your underwear.

“did you want something?” ellie blinks. again with the coyness. you scowl and ellie grins in return.

“you can’t outdo the do-er, babe.” she chirps, pulling the drenched underwear off your legs. she opens your legs wide, staring at your pussy like it’s the best piece of artwork she’s ever seen. you can practically see sparkles in her eyes. you shiver when you feel her fingers pry your cunt open.

“so fucking hungry for you…” she whispers, her breathing shallow and her eyes glazed-over. she gets to work immediately, a firm trail up your vulva before kissing it with her lips. a fleshed moan doesn’t fail to escape your own lips, as your eyes flutter shut. of course she’d be good at this.

ellie moans too, gripping your thighs and pulling you closer, burying her face in between your legs as she goes to town on you. she’s moving like she’s starving, like she hasn’t eaten for weeks and has been presented with a banquet.

her lips tug at your folds, your pussy slick with a mixture of your arousal and her spit. every single time her lips hit your clit it elicits yet another strong reaction from you. she’s so vigilant that she’s quick to notice that that’s your most delicate spot, so she abuses it; kissing it and pulling on it, her head shaking as she pleases you with her tongue. you nourish her with hushed praises: ones like “yes, yes…” or “you’re doing so good” to keep her going. it fuels ellie like no other, and drives her to go harder, a little faster.

her movements are so consistent and perfect that you could froth in the mouth right here and now. you grip her hair tightly, and ellie adores it: groaning happily when you squeeze too tight. you mindlessly push ellie’s head closer to your pussy, feeling the tip of her nose buried in. your moans begin to crescendo. you’re in fucking ecstasy.

“getting close, are we?” ellie pants, her thumb rubbing your clit in slow, teasing drags as she resumes sucking on your cunt.

“i’m gonna cum… i’m cumming… e-ellie…” you babble, tears threatening to pour; and it isn’t just the eye tears we’re talking about here…

“yeah? you gonna let yourself go?” ellie stares up at you, her voice a little higher and breathier. her face is warped into one of pleasure, like she’s the one being fucked.

“yeah… please ellie, i’m really close…” you whine: barely coherent, light tears streaming down your face. ellie chuckles at how adorable you look, taking a second to appreciate how good you look when needy. she dives back in, her nails digging into your thigh as her mouth moves with the perfect vigour to push you off the edge. and oh, you do.

one last strong lick gets you off: your spine bending backwards, same as your head as you let out a strangled scream. you grip her hair tightly, your eyes momentarily rolling to the back of your head as ellie purposely continues to extend the high a little bit. eventually, she pulls back. the both are you are completely out of breath - huffing and panting like dogs.

you slump back in your chair, completely out of it and in a daze. ellie smiles.

“you okay?” she murmurs, appreciating your cute, spent look. you nod quietly in response.

“fuck, my knees.” she mumbles, before sitting back and stretching them. you laugh a little.

“there was no need for the chair.” you reply.

“i know… but i wanted to. it was hot.”

“it was.” you smile. you’re glad you decided to get dolled up for your story tonight.

a/n: i’m back! i’ve been so caught up in school that i haven’t been able to post fics as much but i’ll try 2 be more active :33 i’m absolutely obsessed with billie’s lunch so i made an ellie fic based off of it. hope u enjoyed and if u have any requests leave them in the ask inbox !!!

[chrissv4mp]

i'll love you 'til the day that i die! MATT S.

summary: you and matt have been frenemies since the 8th grade. when you both go to homecoming, you get picked for homecoming queen, and chris is your king. matt can't help but storm outside of the school angrily.

pairing: matt sturniolo × fem!reader

warnings/topics: arguments, vulgar language, fluff, sorta angst, confessions, highschool au, etc.

a/n: LOVE THIS SONG SMSMSMS also this probably makes no sense towards the end cause i was purely running on 2 bottles of water😖

"matt," you exclaimed, running into his room without any warning.

he jumped a little, eyes snapping toward the direction of his bedroom door.

you took a seat at his desk, pushing yourself toward his bed with your feet before spinning around to face him.

"why do you have so much energy this early in the morning?" he groaned, rubbing his eyes as he had just woken up a few minutes ago.

"cause, i just got big news? and, sorry for being so happy to see you?" you joked, rolling your eyes and leaning back in the chair.

matt hummed in curiosity, running a hand through his hair in an attempt to make it look better, "and what's the news?"

you almost couldn't stay still, changing the way you were sitting every moment or so.

"i got nominated for homecoming queen!" you all but yelled, making matt flinch slightly at the loud noise.

his smile was small, but very smug as if he was gonna say something to bring you down.

he could never shut his mouth whenever you brought up something good that happened to you, he always had to one-up you.

"cool, cool, but i've gotten nominated for homecoming king like years in a row. it's nothing big to be nominated once," he shrugged, keeping direct eye contact with you and watching as your face contorted into a subtle look of sadness.

your frown was small, and if matt hadn't been the one to trigger it, then he probably wouldn't have noticed.

he always did this, and you should've been used to it by now. but, god, did matt know how to push your buttons.

"yeah, well, i didn't see your name on there this time. you're not someone special, y'know?" you laughed, trying to hide your frustration.

matt's grin only widened at your words, "huh. well, it'll be there by tonight. those girls can't resist my charm, not even you, y/n."

"shut up. nobody wants a homecoming king that's an asshole to every girl he meets." you groaned, crossing your arms over each other.

"maybe, but you're the only girl i dislike at the school." matt bit back, leaning against his headboard as he stared you down.

you let out a quiet huff, looking around his room and letting your eyes land on the corkboard he had on the wall opposite his closet.

there were letters, pictures, and polaroids of all of his friends. and in one corner, there was a polaroid of you and him at the beach.

there was writing below it, 'i want u to stay 'till i'm in the grave<3' it was in dark blue sharpie.

your lips upturned into a small smile. he didn't hate you. he never really could, even if he tried.

"doesn't seem like you dislike me," you broke the silence, pointing over at the board.

matt's smile dropped, and his face flushed a soft pink color as he sat up straight. "just get out, would you!"

you giggled to yourself as you got off his chair, not forgetting to give him the middle finger before closing his door and walking back down the hall.

nick looked up from the sink as he heard your footsteps walking past the kitchen, turning around to look at you.

"bye, y/n," he smiled softly, waving over at you and accidently splashing water on the kitchen counter.

"see you later, nick," you smiled, waving back before resuming your walk down the stairs and out of the house.

"birds of a feather," chris said, breaking the silence between the four of you.

nick raised an eyebrow, looking to the side to see if chris was talking to him.

the younger boy was pointing over at you and matt, at the opposite end of the booth you all were sitting at.

"what?" matt laughed over the loud chatter of the cafeteria, crossing his arms before looking over at you.

you were confused just as he was, staring over at chris with an unsure look on your face, "right... and what are you yapping on about this time?"

chris looked dumbfounded, staring at the three of you in disbelief as he scoffed, "you guys seriously don't know that saying? i thought you were older than me."

"by, like, 2 seconds?" nick said, leaning on the table as he picked at the cafeteria food with a plastic fork.

chris punched his brother softly, rolling his eyes before explaining, "birds of a feather flock together, it basically means you guys are alike in one way or another."

matt laughed, looking over at you before giving his attention back to chris, "we are nothing alike, trust me. she's horrible at communicating, and i'm amazing at it. i'm popular. she's not."

"yeah, he's stupid, and i'm smart. remind me how we're alike, again?" matt looked away at your remark, silently mocking you.

"look at your outfits right now, if i didn't know any better i would think you guys are matching." chris pointed out, nodding his head in your direction.

nick nodded, "he's right, you guys look like a couple."

both yours and matts face flushed bright pink, and you looked seperate ways, embarrassment washing over the two of you.

"yeah, more like a couple of friends." you forced out, looking back up at nick and chris.

nick raised his eyebrows, looking away.

"and not to mention the many times you both have said the same phrase. like, tell me you hang out too much without telling me you hang out too much?" chris joked, laughing at himself.

nick chuckled quietly, nodding his head in agreement with his brothers.

"that's a coincidence." you mumbled, sitting up straight.

"it's happened more than i can count, i don't think it's a coincidence of any sort." nick said, looking over at matt, who just dragged his hands down his face.

"well, whatever. not like it's gonna last forever," matt said, and before anyone could reply, he stood up and left to his next class.

the bell rang a few seconds after, and you, nick, and chris gave each other confused looks.

"sorry, y/n. he's probably just had a rough day, i promise you he doesn't mean it." nick reassured you, reaching over the table to hold your hand.

he left a few moments later, and chris stayed with you.

"don't take it to heart, 'kay?" chris muttered softly, smiling at you.

you nodded, and chris began to add on, "i've seen him cry over you. he tells me he doesn't know why. all he says is that he doesn't think he could love you more than he already does."

nodding, smiling softly before watching chris get up and leave. now it was just you and your thoughts at the table alone.

huh. who would've thought matthew sturniolo, one of the most popular guys at school, would be crying over you, quiet, kept to herself, y/n l/n?

you couldn't tease him about it, you did the same thing for him. you always cried over matt, not even knowing why because he had never really hurt you.

you always just sobbed to nick about how you would love him 'til the day that he dies. and after those words registered in your head, you only cried more at the thought of matt dying.

but those nights, you were usually drunk or super high. nick always knew how to calm you down, though, he was always there for you whenever you needed.

matt had also occasionally been there for you in your lowest times, never hesitating to break the speed limit getting to your house.

he always confronted the boys that had stood you up, never let anyone talk bad about you or even give you dirty looks. even if he didn't consider you a friend, you thought of him as one.

"i just don't understand," matt whispered shakily as he looked up at the night sky, stars scattered all around and lighting the place around in just the slightest.

you sat next to him, fingers playing with the blanket the both of you were on, "what don't you understand?"

he shrugged, "i don't understand how anyone could love me."

your neck snapped in his direction, eyes widening a little as a million thoughts came to your mind.

you wanted him to see how he looked in your eyes. he was the funniest, most handsome, kind boy you have ever met (even if he did occasionally tick you off).

you wanted him to know how many subtle compliments you gave him that he never noticed, but still took.

but then again, you wanted to just tell him how he was so full of shit. he knew that anyone and everyone was capable of loving him.

he knew that he could get anyone wrapped around his finger in less than a week. hell, he sure got you wrapped around his finger in just a matter of 2 days.

"i just don't get what people see in me. sometimes i just want to quit everything i do at the thought of it." matt added, finally turning his head to look at you.

your gaze softened as he looked you in the eyes, a subtle look of concern plastered on your face as you reached out to pat his shoulder.

"don't be stupid, matthew. i think that if anyone even glanced in your direction, they would instantly fall in love. you're all any girl would want."

matt smiled, and you reached over to move his hair to see his face better. he was truly beautiful. you couldn't ever get tired of the sight of him.

"you really think that?" matt asked, and there was just the tiniest hint of smugness in his voice.

you nodded, tilting your head to see matt better in the pale moonlight.

"i do," you whispered, and before matt could speak, you cut him off, "and don't ruin this moment with one of your stupid remarks, matthew."

matt's lips parted, but he chose to stay silent. he was grateful for moments like this with you, when it was just you two alone and nobody else.

he loved being alone with you, especially late at night when you guys would have these deep talks. no words spoken here would ever leave, neither of you would bring those topics up.

it was a nice feeling, one that made him feel safe and secure in your presence.

as the months passed by and new memories with you were made, matt felt like you were slowly creeping into his heart, invading all of his senses.

all he could think about was you now, and he couldn't ever get you out of his head. not even when he was in boston, more than 2,000 miles away from you.

it came so fast, and you almost couldn't believe that you were standing outside of your high-school with your best friends, all dressed formally.

you were wearing a satin dark blue dress that went down to your knees, while matt and chris were wearing suits and ties.

matt's suit was navy blue, his dress pants being white to match with chris, who was wearing a white suit and navy blue dress pants.

nick wore an all blue suit, his tie being the only white thing on his outfit besides from his collared shirt he wore underneath the suit.

"holy shit, you're stunning, y/n!" nick exclaimed, stretching his arms out before you hugged him tightly.

he smiled into your hair, patting your back before pulling away from your embrace.

"talk about stunning, look at yourself, nicolas! you look amazing, blue looks beautiful on you." you complimented, smiling up at him before walking to stand beside him.

he interlocked your arms, and you finally got the chance to look over matt and chris' suits.

"we look better than you guys ever could," matt said, swinging his arm over chris' shoulder and pulling him closer.

chris smiled, nodding in agreement as he wrapped his arm around matt's waist.

"i don't know, y/n's dress might beat us." the younger boy shrugged, to which matt rolled his eyes at.

"you tell yourselves whatever you want, we're gonna go inside to get the night started," nick stated, pushing past chris and matt and purposely shoving matt playfully.

the two brunette boys weren't slow to follow you and nick, chris rushing in front of you to hold the door open.

when the four of you got intonthe gym, it immediately felt like you guys were gonna have the best night ever.

the lighting was a darker blue, illuminating all the bodies beneath it and capturing every small movement the kids made.

"wow," you whispered, and nick echoed you.

"hello, and welcome, los angeles lions to our 34th annual homecoming dance!" madi exclaimed into the microphone, her eyes scanning the paper she was holding.

the school cheered in excitement, and chris screamed out an encouragement for madi.

she smiled at all the familiar faces before leaning into the microphone to read from the paper again, "these past few weeks have been a little chaotic with all of the new nominees for both homecoming queen, and homecoming king, and tonight won't be any less chaotic."

"now, i'm honored to welcome up on stage the nominees for homecoming queen," madi spoke before flipping the paper over to the other side.

she read over the names, and a big smile came to her face when her eyes landed on the first one.

"please welcome up to the stage y/n l/n," she said, her smile frowing impossibly wider.

chris and nick shoved you around playfully before you finally came to your senses and ran up to the stage. it was an unreal experience, being one of the nominees, you felt like you couldn't compare to any of the other girls.

"alahna estrella," madi said, reading a few more names over the loud cheering of the students before she moved onto the boys.

the gym went silent once madi announced that she would be calling up the boys for homecoming king, now.

"now, i'm very happy to call up to the stage one of the very popular sturniolo triplets..."

matt got ready to walk up to the stage, but when the name fell from madi's mouth, he froze in shock.

"christopher sturniolo!" she said happily, clapping along with the other students.

your eyes widened at the sound of chris' name being called, and you clapped for him.

nick watched as chris made his way up the stairs onto the stage, yelling out his name and clapping for his brother.

matt clapped slowly, the realization that he wouldn't get to be the homecoming king washing over him. whatever, it didn't matter anyway because he already had 3 crowns from past years.

more names were called, and even nate was invited up to the stage as a nominee for homecoming king.

when the crowd settled down, madi had began to speak again, "now, the announcement that we've all been waiting for... this year's homecoming king is.."

madi's eye widened in surprise before she smiled big and read off his name, "christopher sturniolo!"

matt sighed, clapping for his brother. he was happy sure, but then again he was jealous. things always went his way, and he just wasn't ready for this happen.

was he being selfish?

after chris was crowned homecoming king, he stood beside madi up on the stage, smiling big at all the students of his high-school.

"and, for your homecoming queen. this year's homecoming queen is y/n l/n!" madi said, clapping proudly at you as she watched you get crowned.

you couldn't believe it. it felt surreal, like you were in a dream you couldn't wake up from. as you walked over to chris, he pulled you into a huge hug, muttering a quiet, "congratulations." into your ear.

madi took yours and chris' hand as she walked back up to the mic, bringing all of your hands into the air as she yelled out into the microphone.

"please give big love to our new homecoming king and queen, y/n and chris!"

the students cheered, some jumping up and down out of excitement as they screamed their hearts out.

matt huffed angrily, jumping out of his seat before pushing his way past multiple people to get to the exit.

he didn't go unnoticed by you, your eyes following him as he stormed out of the gymnasium.

you were surprised the door hadn't made a sound, it looked like he slammed into the door without even flinching.

"shit," you whispered, worry flashing over your features.

as soon as you got off stage, you ran out of the gym, ignoring all of the people who tried to congratulate you on your way down.

you ran outside of the school, turning every way to try and spot matt. when you did, his eyes locked with yours.

he was sat on the sidewalk, a streetlight illuminating his face as the spotlights had done inside.

you ran over to him, taking a seat next to him and scooting close to him.

it was silent for a few minutes. the two of you just absorbed in all of your thoughts about what just happened.

"congratulations on homecoming queen, i'm happy for you." matt said, looking over into your eyes.

you smiled, "thanks."

"sorry you weren't nominated, i thought you would have been considering you have been every other year." you apologized, and matt shook his head softly.

it wasn't just that, it was the fact that his brother was your homecoming king. it was the knowledge that matt would never get to be your king.

it was the fact that he would never get to be yours.

"i'm sorry, i just can't do this anymore, y/n." matt stood up from his spot, and you looked up at him.

you raised an eyebrow, worry still lingering in your head from matt's earlier outburst, "what? you can't do what?"

you stood up next, now face to face with the boy you both hated and loved the most.

"i just don't understand what we are, what i mean to you and what you even think of me. you keep giving me these fucking mixed signals and i don't know how to interpret them!" matt held his head in his hands, rubbing his temples in an effort to calm himself down.

you swore you felt your heart shatter at his words. maybe this wasn't gonna be the best night you've ever had.

"what- mixed signals? i.. matt, what are you talking about?" you thought you knew what he was getting at, but as the words came out of your mouth, the thoughts fled from your mind.

matt muttered inaudible words before he finally spoke clearly, "you keep pushing me away and then pulling me back again, and i don't know what to do, y/n."

"do you want me, or am i just some guy you're toying with to get popularity? one minute you're nice and you have my back, and the next you're so fucking cold it's like i'm not even there, like you don't even care about me."

your eyebrows furrowed, he was explaining exactly how he made you feel.

"don't be a hypocrite, matt. i don't even act that way, you're explaining exactly what you make me think. i have all these thoughts and ideas i want to share with you, but when i do, you come over and push them down. why would i even want popularity? i don't give a shit about it, matt!"

"why do you do this to me, seriously?" your voice cracked, and only then did matt realize you were crying.

he groaned, taking small paces back and forth as he breathed heavily.

when he stopped, he was right in front of you, gaze soft as he stared into your e/c eyes.

"because i love you," he finally spilled it, and he didn't regret it. not at all.

the look on your face was not at all what he was expecting. he thought you might he disgusted or even angry.

"don't act so surprised, y/n." he said quietly, cupping your face with his hands.

they were cold, but you still leaned into his touch as he wiped away your tears.

he pulled you closer to him, and you ended up in his arms as you began to calm down. "god, i hate you, matt."

"yeah? well i'll love you 'till the day that i die." he muttered softly.

you laughed quietly, punching him playfully before pulling away.

he stayed silent, a soft smile on his face. as he continued to stare at you, he started to realize more and more things.

one thing he realized was that he never wanted to say goodbye.

maybe chris was right. maybe you two were birds of a feather.

. . . . . . . . .

tags: @cindylcuwho

[jacksonholtenthusiast]

monster high fans!! especially monster high fans who like jackson and holt!!

so, it’s come to my attention that a lot of people don’t actually understand the canon reasons that the transformation takes place, and that’s okay, don’t worry! not everyone has a musical education, so i’ll just write you guys up a post so that you can understand the same way that us musicians do! <3

first of all, let’s recap the exact reason for the transformation, stated multiple times in canon material: music with a 4/4 time signature played in excess of 90 decibels.

let’s break this down!

starting with the 90 decibels, so we can leave the more complicated stuff for later:

90 decibels is the noise level at which you are advised to begin wearing protection. it is about the sound of a leaf blower or an average concert (the writers did a good job googling for this one!).

(HoH!J&H headacanoners, come get your food 😉)

however, since this is a requirement for the transformation, jackson can listen to any 4/4 music that is under 90 decibels! which is cool, but also contradicts webisode and movie material… i mean, come on, clawd’s phone is at most, an iphone 5, which only plays music at 81.5 dB (though modern iphones play up to 115 dB, so I guess that we can just call their technology ahead of their time? lol).

headphones can reach up to 100 dB, so i’m not surprised that j&h’s transformation is triggered using them.

anyway! most of the time, music is not played in excess of 90 dB. therefore, jackson can listen to anything he wants without jeopardizing his existence so long as he remains within a certain degree of sound. yay! jackson can still be an emo boy

secondly! a 4/4 time signature. now, what does this mean?

a lot of people get confused and figure that a time signature is referring to the BPM (beats per minute) of a song. while BPM is used in music, it is not used in this way. common BPMs for modern music are between 60 BPM (reggae) to 290 BPM (charleston dance music), though the average top range of BPM is around 160-180 BPM.

none of that matters to jackson! the BPM of a song has zero affect on whether or not they will transform, so again, jackson can listen to whatever music he wants to.

now, what is a time signature, then, if it isn’t the BPM.

well…

the time signature is the amount of beats by the kind of beats in each measure. so, for jackson, it would be four (numerator) quarter notes (denominator) per measure: a 4/4 time signature!

most songs are in 4/4 nowadays, because it’s just very common and easy to wrap your head around. however, there are some popular songs that are in other time signatures, for example:

- Nothing Else Matters - Metallica (3/4 Time Signature)

- When the Party’s Over - Billie Eilish (3/4)

- Idontwannabeyouanymore - Billie Eilish (3/4)

- I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll - Joan Jett and The Blackhearts (2/4)

- Baa Baa Blacksheep and The Wheels on the Bus ;) (kidding, but they are in 2/4)

So, i just guess that my point is that Jackson does not need to go completely without music. He has a lot of music that he can listen to in a lot of situations, as per the laws of canon.

I hope you enjoyed and that this was maybe a bit informative! Feel free to come scream about J&H with me at any time :)

[tomorrowxtogether]

2023 TXTPALOOZA report

TOMORROW X TOGETHER proved their worth at Lollapalooza

2023.09.12

Music festival Lollapalooza was held from August 3 through 6 this year in Chicago, Illinois. The names that were on the headliner list along with TOMORROW X TOGETHER are as follows: Billie Eilish, Karol G, Kendrick Lamar, the 1975, Lana Del Rey, and the Red Hot Chili Peppers. The boys of TOMORROW X TOGETHER were the second Korean artists—after j-hope performed there last year—, and the first Korean group, to headline the festival that draws some 400,000 people to the grounds of Grant Park every year. Let’s take a look at three words and phrases that capture all the excitement the group brought to the Bud Light Stage on August 5.

1. HEADLINER

This year at Lollapalooza, not only did TOMORROW X TOGETHER perform, but so did NewJeans, who played the festival’s T-Mobile Stage on August 3. Then there’s BLACKPINK, who headlined both Coachella in April and BST Hyde Park in July. Not only is it becoming a more common sight to see K-pop artists performing at major long-running festivals within and outside of the US, but, as in TOMORROW X TOGETHER’s case, they’re also being afforded better and better timeslots and stages. The recent rising demand for K-pop at festivals demonstrates both the power of K-pop fans and the inroads K-pop has made into the music market. TOMORROW X TOGETHER made their first appearance at Lollapalooza in the summer of 2022 with a 45-minute set. The documentary TOMORROW X TOGETHER: OUR LOST SUMMER, covering their US tour and stop at Lollapalooza, shows how the members of the group worried about the kind of reaction they might get at the festival. But their fears were allayed when their performance was met with ear-splitting cheers and the crowd singing along to the group’s hits. The show led to even more people in the US finding out about them and converted more listeners into fans. Then, a year later, the boys returned to the festival, but this time as headliners—with a longer concert on a bigger stage and with an even more enthusiastic audience.

2. MOAPALOOZA

TOMORROW X TOGETHER started performing at 8:30 PM, but “TXTPALOOZA” was already trending in the US on X (formerly Twitter) that morning. It was already clear two days beforehand how much buzz there was surrounding the group’s upcoming performance. There was a TOMORROW X TOGETHER pop-up store near Grant Park selling merchandise for the group’s Lollapalooza concert that was open for the duration of the festival, and BIGHIT MUSIC reported more than 200 people waiting in line for the opening on August 3. There was a line to get into the store for the entire four days it was open, with fans sharing and swapping things like photocards.

When the morning of TOMORROW X TOGETHER’s performance came, it started to rain over Chicago, but that didn’t stop MOA from crowding around the entrance to the festival grounds from early in the day in order to secure a spot close to the stage. By the afternoon, the standing area of the Bud Light Stage was already packed with MOA and their blue light sticks. When other artists performed throughout the day, it didn’t matter which direction the audience cam was facing: the giant screen showed a sea of light sticks and homemade signs bearing the names of the TOMORROW X TOGETHER members. MOA was filled with so much enthusiasm around the pop-up store and at the stage that the burning curiosity of other festivalgoers had them asking questions about the idols and their fans. As the Sun slowly set, people wearing TOMORROW X TOGETHER shirts, carrying light sticks, and wearing telltale signs that they were MOA streamed endlessly toward the stage. By eight o’clock, not only was the standing area directly in front of the stage full of people with light sticks, but so were the areas to the sides, stretching out far from the stage. At the same time, passersby were forming into a crowd just outside the audience, curious about the K-pop group. As the concert drew closer, the giant screen played short documentaries and music videos. Even though the members themselves hadn’t yet taken the stage, cheers erupted every time something new appeared on screen and the crowd was chanting their name. The swath of TOMORROW X TOGETHER light sticks lit a brilliant blue across the darkening sky, and as the countdown began, a giant roar of excitement flowed out from the glowing azure. It was the loudest sound around the whole day.

The audience sang along to the words of each song from the instant the boys came out and opened their performance with “0X1=LOVESONG (I Know I Love You),” and continued singing together for the full 90 minutes. That included not just English songs and choruses with English lyrics, but also Korean lyrics and even an unreleased song. “I’m just excited about what song they’re going to start with, and for big fireworks,” Eliza, a MOA from New Jersey, said, adding with a laugh, “and I hope to see ‘Cat & Dog’ because I want to hear the bark in Chicago,” referring to the unofficial chant that, sure enough, the crowd broke into spontaneously when the group performed the song. A MOA from Florida named Hollie was “really excited” to find out what TOMORROW X TOGETHER would be performing this time “because I remember last year they really had a bunch of choreography,” and this year didn’t disappoint either: The audience loved the sharp choreography and dance breaks, and it was quite a sight seeing the crowd dance along to songs that have been featured in TikTok challenges, like “Good Boy Gone Bad” and “Happy Fools” featuring Coi Leray. On top of these energy-filled numbers, there were also emotionally charged songs like “Anti-Romantic” and the unreleased song “Blue Spring” that moved the audience to tears as they sang along. The rollercoaster of a set list closed with “Sugar Rush Ride” and fireworks to go alongside. MOA continued to chant “TXT” even after the concert came to an end. It’s safe to say that MOA’s enthusiasm was the secret sauce that turned an already fantastic performance into an unforgettable experience. Ask anyone who was in Chicago that day, and they’ll let you know it was really MOAPALOOZA.

3. TXT MADE HISTORY

“You could probably hear it across Michigan Avenue long before the concert started,” magazine Consequence writes of MOA’s screaming as the audience watched the countdown to the start of the show. “The last 10 seconds might have registered on the Richter scale.” MOA’s passion that day was noted by major media outlets as well. “Fans who queued early, blue cross-adorned light sticks in hand, got to prove their adoration by singing along to TXT’s unreleased track ‘Blue Spring,’” Rolling Stone reported, “and witness a band who didn’t take any part of the experience for granted.” And all that excitement extended to MOA online. That same day, “TXTPALOOZA” was the third-most popular trending tag on X worldwide; immediately after the group’s performance, phrases like “TXT LOLLA 2023 HEADLINERS” were trending in the US. In Korea, mentions of the songs on the set list bubbled up in real time. People watching online through Weverse, YouTube, Hulu and the like made comments like, “The audience there is even good at singing the Korean parts,” and, “I can tell how popular they are in the States!”—because even watching online, you could hear the cheering loud and clear.

Consequence made a  statement with how they titled their review: “TOMORROW X TOGETHER Make History.” But it’s about more than just the fact that the group was a headliner or how much noise the fans made. The biggest takeaway is how well they performed up on stage. “As the show progressed it became clear how much TXT have grown,” the magazine’s article continues. “The stage banter was looser than last year, they looked more comfortable, and more of their personalities came through,” and said the athletics behind their choreography made them look like “superhumans.” TOMORROW X TOGETHER performed their set front to back without a single break and still had plenty of energy left to work the crowd and get them to excitedly sing along and cheer. Their performance also led to online comments like, “You can tell how much better they got after their world tour,” and, “They look so natural—like rock stars.” British music review outlet NME gave TOMORROW X TOGETHER’s Lollapalooza concert a perfect score, saying, “Their performances are tight and impactful, their vocals phenomenal, and their stage presence nothing short of rock star status.” US entertainment site Vulture went so far as to say that “the group put on one of the weekend’s biggest spectacles.”

Winter, another MOA at Grant Park, summed up the significance of TOMORROW X TOGETHER’s performance at Lollapalooza where she said, “I think being headliners shows not only that they have a strong fan base but they keep growing and growing.” TOMORROW X TOGETHER already proved their popularity in the US earlier this year with a Billboard 200 number one and over 500,000 albums sold; their performance at Lollapalooza made that popularity tangible right in front of the eyes of tens of thousands. The opportunity to headline the festival also gave them another chance to show everyone at the festival who they are. TOMORROW X TOGETHER first traveled to Chicago four years ago, right after their debut, to put on a showcase. After the prolonged pandemic, the group kicked off the North American leg of their world tour with a performance in the city, only to come back again later in the year with their spectacular first Lollapalooza performance. The following year—this year—after performing to stadiums across the US, the group returned to the Lollapalooza stage, this time as headliners, and will soon be performing at the 2023 MTV Video Music Awards (VMAs). MOA’s unmistakable blue light over Grant Park that night stood as a symbol of how much the group had grown in the meantime and why they were invited back to the festival. And as has been clear to anyone paying attention so far, that blue light will only continue to grow in size and intensity—until it lights up the entire sky, wider and brighter—with TOMORROW X TOGETHER.

[racinginchid3nt]

Happier Than Ever | Part Four

Y/N x Pierre Gasly, Y/N Best Friend x Lance Stroll

Whirlwind romances with professional athletes certainly have their perks, or do they?

Inspired by Happier Than Ever - Billie Eilish

Warnings: mentions of assault and cyber bullying

Previous | Next

————————————————————————

When you had stepped out of the hotel bathroom, Pierre’s inhale had been audible.

“Can you zip me up please?”

“Of course, you look absolutely beautiful baby.”

Your dress for the night was black, cut outs across the front and back and small mesh panels made it undeniably sexy. You paired it with simple black platform heels. As you stopped at the mirror to put on your red lipstick, a voice interrupted you.

“No.”

“Excuse me?” You asked, confusion marring your tone.

“Pick a different color.” He said.

“What’s wrong with red?”

“No red. Pick a different color.”

“Pierre I’m confused. Why do you care? I’ll be careful not to kiss you on the cheek or anything tonight. It won’t stain.” You replied.

“Because I said so. Pick a fucking different color.” He repeated, anger breaking into his tone.

Pierre had never once cared about what color your lipstick was. Tucking it back into your makeup bag you pulled out a more natural nude color, coating your lips in it.

“See was that so hard?”

You placed the lipstick into your clutch for the night, walking to meet him at the door. You made your way down the elevator, he held your hand tightly in his. The other hand holding his phone as he fired off texts. You attempted to peer over his shoulder at what had him so interested, but he immediately turned the screen black before tucking it into his pocket.

————

The two of you paused for pictures and to speak to reporters a few times on the walk into the gala. As the first outing after the summer break, reporters were desperate for a sound bite or story to soon after a rather tame silly season.

As soon as you entered the gala, Pierre dropped his arm from your waist, making his way to greet some of the Alpine engineers. You made your way to the bar, ordering drinks for the two of you.

Flipping through your texts you waited to hear from Y/N Best Friend. She had surprised you both and somehow snagged a date, with Lando Norris no less, for tonight’s function. The two of them had been flirty at the club a few weeks back, maybe something was going on there that you didn’t know about. Making a mental note to check in with her about it, and Lance for that matter, you put your phone back in your clutch.

Pierre was still off speaking to various team members. Scanning the room you looked for anyone you might know who you could speak with. You didn’t want to be that overly clingy girlfriend who butted her way into Pierre’s conversations, especially when they were with his work colleagues.

15 minutes passed by and your drink had emptied out. The bartender was refilling it and replacing it almost immediately after you set it down. As you started to sip on it and contemplate how to fill your boredom, you noticed two newcomers to the event. The Ferrari boys had arrived in style, both of them sporting well fitted tuxes.

Making eye contact with Charles, the pair made their way to you at the bar.

“Hello Y/N! Looking lovely as always.” Stated Charles, pulling you in for a hug.

“You look gorgeous.” Replied Carlos.

“You two don’t look half bad yourselves!”

You all made small talk, discussing what everyone had done over the break.

“I heard you went back to Spain instead of staying Portugal? Pierre said you went to see your family.” Asked Charles.

“Oh uh yeah. It was nice to stop home for a bit to see them.” You replied. Pierre obviously must have told his best friend that you had left the trip, but obviously hadn’t gone into detail about why. Just bringing up the discussion made you uncomfortable.

Throwing back your drink, you set it on a nearby table and started drinking Pierre’s. By the time he walked up a few minutes later, his drink was gone as well. Carlos and Charles excused themselves to make their way to the bar as well, leaving you with Pierre.

Downing all three drinks in a matter of 30 minutes probably wasn’t your best call. And your good decision making certainly didn’t happen when a water came by with champagne and you took two, chugging one and immediately giving back them empty glass while you dipped the second.

It was obvious Charles didn’t know the true story about Portugal, but that didn’t make it any less awakened or uncomfortable to think about. That day was up there with one of the most anxiety inducing you had ever experienced, and finding out other people knew even part of it was overwhelming. By the time Y/N Best Friend showed up with Lando, the second glass of champagne was gone and you were rapidly approaching drunk.

You were a loud, affectionate drunk. Which is why when she walked in looking hot as fuck, you made it known. Which is also why when Pierre and Lando excused themselves to get waters at the bar, you brought up Y/N Best Friend and what happened with Lance, and how maybe she should hook up with both Lance and Lando in one go. As you carried on, a bit louder than you really should’ve been, it wasn’t surprising at all when you saw Lance approach and drag her away. Smiling to yourself, you waited for Pierre to come back from the bar.

————

Dinner on its own was uneventful. The most interesting part was watching the interaction between Y/N Best Friend and Lance, who had joined the table last minute. So when the two of them disappeared together later, you barely batted an eye.

And when Y/N Best Friend came back and told you that she was heading home and refused a ride from Lando, you had to keep in your giggle at the thought that she was leaving with Lance.

————

The press coverage from the gala next day was everywhere, particularly photos of Lando and Y/N Best Friend. You had to practically break down her down to get her to talk to you about it. So when Saturday rolled around and it was time for qualifying, you had to force her to come with you.

You didn’t blame her for not handling the media attention well. You certainly hadn’t at the beginning, the hate comments were bound to upset anyone.

Which is why, when in the middle of dinner with Pierre after quail you checked your phone, you panicked. Photos of Y/N Best Friend with Lance from the night of the gala and with Carlos earlier that day were plastered everywhere.

You tried to keep your mind of it, but the guilt for introducing her to the drivers was weighing heavily. And when Pierre took your phone when your main courses came out and slipped it into his pocket, assuring you that it would all be okay, you tried to believe him.

Looking back on that night and the events that occurred at the dinner and the day after, you wish you would’ve argued with him. Wish you would’ve gone straight back to the hotel. But you didn’t, and you couldn’t change what happened now.

————

You spent the night in the hotel, tossing and turning unable to sleep. You had a horrible feeling, a pit building in your stomach like something bad was going to happen. It carried with you into the next morning. Opening Twitter your feed was full of videos of Y/N Best Friend getting attacked outside the hotel.

You called her four times back to back with no response. Marching down the hall to her room, you banged on the door, demanding to be let it, but all that you heard was silence. She much preferred to process things on her own, you knew that. When she had broken up with her ex she had disappeared for three days, processing everything on her own before she was willing to talk to you about it. That was part of why the two of you got along so well, neither of you liked sharing when you were upset.

After 10 minutes you stopped knocking.

“Y/N, I know you probably just want to process everything, but please please call me when you’re up for it. I worry about you, okay?”

Leaving her door, you made your way back to your room and headed to the track with Pierre. Lando stopped you on your way to the garage, asking how Y/N Best Friend was. You told him that you hadn’t heard from her, and that she needed time, before repeating the same story an hour later to Carlos.

Lance was the last one of the group to approach you. Running into the Alpine energy station after the race like a crazy person, he screamed about needing to talk to her and asking where she was. It was only after Pierre interrupted that you were able to get out that Y/N Best Friend hadn’t come to the race. The Aston Martin driver turned on his heel and took off again, running off to who knows where.

Sending another text to Y/N Best Friend, you reminded her about what you said through her hotel door, hoping that when she eventually checked her phone she would respond.

————————————————————————

[acaplaya-musings]

Voiceplay Visuals MASTERPOST

Just in case there's a specific post you wanna find and don't wanna go scrolling through the whole tag (I have also made a masterpost for Voiceplay-adjacent Visuals, and will be making a main navigation post listing all the tags I use - better late than never, right?). Posts are grouped here based on the release year of the original video they focus on (and of course listed chronologically within those groups), but note that not all the posts were made 100% in order (e.g. my first was for This Is Halloween, and the Christmas posts I did a lot later on than most of the rest).

If a video isn't mentioned here at all, it's because I just haven't made a post for it!

2017:

Moana Medley

Aca Top 10 Disney Heroes

What's This?

Baby It's Cold Outside

2018:

Aca Top 10 80s Cartoon Themes

Get Back Up Again

Daddy Sang Bass

Panic In Four Minutes (parts 1 and 2 combined)

Aca Top 10 Disney Sidekicks

This Is Halloween

Queen In 5 Minutes

Mission Jingle Bells

2019:

Aca Top 10 Disney Villains

Boy Bands In 5 Minutes part 1 and part 2 (I split it into 2 posts)

Aca Top 10 Sitcom Themes

Sh-Boom

Billie Eilish In 3 Minutes (Trapped)

Oogie Boogie's Song

Frozen 2 Medley

Aca Top 10 Hits Of 2019

2020:

Warriors

Aca Top 10 Movie Themes

Little Mermaid Medley

Superstition

Kidnap The Sandy Claws

You're A Mean One, Mr Grinch

2021:

Bang!

My Mother Told Me

We're Good

Butter

If I Were A Rich Man/Girl

Hoist The Colours

Halo Theme

Friends On The Other Side

Wicked Medley (A Chance To Fly)

2022:

The Dragonborn Comes

We Don't Talk About Bruno

Dream On

Enemy

Good 4 U

Running Up That Hill

In The Hall Of The Mountain King

Hide And Seek (Ding Dong!)

Christmas Don't Be Late (The Chipmunk Song)

2023:

Golden Hour

Valhalla Calling

Seven Nation Army

In The Air Tonight

Creep

Drunken Sailor

Hellfire

Time Warp

Jingle Bell Rock

2024:

The Lion Sleeps Tonight

Sleeping In The Cold Below

Classical Chaos part 1 and part 2 (split between two posts)

Total Eclipse Of The Heart

[zombiebcit]

danielle rose russell. 21. agender. they / them. ― i see you meet HARLOW DIXON, huh? they are around for… well, it will be 4 YEARS, now. time flies when you are busy and as part of THE HUNTERS, they are. if you want to meet them, they live in B1A2D, i think. people say they are LOYAL + DETERMINED, but don’t piss them off, okay? because they can be also SARCASTIC + VINDICTIVE, so be safe.

BASIC INFO

⸻ FULL NAME: harlow shepard dixon

⸻ AGE: 21

⸻ GENDER: agender

⸻ PRONOUNS: they / them

⸻ ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: panromantic

⸻ SEXUAL ORIENTATION: pansexual

⸻ SCARS / TATTOOS: small scar on their lower lip going down to chin, four on their ribs on right side, one on the left side of their neck, going down to cleavage;

⸻ OCCUPATION: before: kid ; now: hunter ;

⸻ FAMILY: william & alice shepard ( bio parents, deceased ) , open wc ( adpotive parent post-apocalypse ) , unknow name older half-brother ( status unknown ) ;

⸻ PLAYLIST: all eyes on you by smash into pieces ; medicine by hollywood undead ; haunted by laura les ; bludlust by daegho ; ditch by empara mi ; wait a minute! by willow ; nobody's listening by linkin park ; therefore i am by billie eilish ; she calls me daddy by king mala ; far from home by san tinnesz ; can't go to hell by sin shake sin ; cheers by sleeping with sirens ; kicks by barns courtney ;

⸻ INSPO: ellie williams ( the last of us ) , jill valentine ( resient evil ) , purple!hawke ( dragon age 2 ) , leliana ( dragon age ) , kasumi goto ( mass effect ) , leia organa ( star wars ) , kylo ren ( star wars ) ;

STORY

when william shepard meet alice, he was still married to his first wife. it did not stop him from pursuing her, which ended in alice's pregnancy... and an end to william's marriage.

william still kept contact with his first child, a son around 16 years old, when harlow was born. he also married alice few weeks before the birth ;

harlow was growing up as rather sneaky child, quiet most of time. alice and william relationship was not happy nor calm ; the spark disappear under new child, child support and trying to find commond ground other than sleeping together ;

all harlow remember of their bio parents are screams and fights and how they tried to attack them when the apocalypse happened ;

that's how they meet their later-adoptive parent - while running from zombies with their bio parents' faces ;

... more tba

WANTED CONNECTIONS

⸻ 01. ' 𝙱𝙻𝙾𝙾𝙳 𝙾𝙵 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙲𝙾𝚅𝙴𝙽𝙰𝙽𝚃 𝙸𝚂 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝙲𝙺𝙴𝚁 𝚃𝙷𝙰𝙽 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚆𝙰𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝙾𝙵 𝚆𝙾𝙼𝙱 '

adoptive parent. ( main wc ) open. this person rescued harlow when she was 9 at the start of apocalypse, took her under their wings and in time, they become the parent + child duo. their last name can be dixon if you want, i’m open to harlow taking their name at some point. they are pretty close, but i’m open to ideas.

⸻ 02. ' 𝚈𝙾𝚄'𝚁𝙴 𝙸𝚃, 𝚈𝙾𝚄'𝚁𝙴 𝙼𝚈 𝙿𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙾𝙽 '

platonic soulmates / can be roommate. open. they are it, the ultimate ride or die. they meet after harlow came to the domus spei & they hit off fast. for a moment, people thought they are romantically involved because how close they are, but no, that's not the case. cuddles, cheek/forehead kisses and 'i love you's are always present in their relationship. they might seems like opposities, but there is no doubt that if this muse is doing stupid (tm), harlow is right here to help.

⸻ 03. ' 𝙵𝚄𝙲𝙺 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙱𝙰𝙳 𝚅𝙸𝙱𝙴𝚂 𝙱𝚁𝙾 '

nemesis / arch-enemy. open. they just don't click. maybe they got into fight when harlow was the new kid, maybe it as just misunderstanding, idk, they just don't like each other. will have each other back outside the walls, but inside? this is a war. maybe prank war, but something like this.

[lunapaper]

Album Review: 'This is Why' - Paramore

The disco! is dead. Fall Out Boy are... whatever the hell Fall Out Boy are these days. But Paramore continues to endure. 

Influencing everyone from Soccer Mommy to Lil Uzi Vert to Billie Eilish to WILLOW to Olivia Rodrigo (who famously gave writing credits to Hayley Williams and ex-guitarist Josh Farro on her hit single, ‘good 4 u’). 16 years later, ‘Misery Business’ will still get the room pumping. Paramore has almost single-handedly upended the emo/pop punk landscape. 

Interestingly, though, the band hasn’t dabbled much in emo or pop punk since the release of 2017’s After Laughter, an emotionally fraught record filled with jangling New Wave and day-glo synths. You can trace their pop pivot back even further with tracks like ‘Ain’t It Fun’ and ‘Still Into You’ from their 2013 self-titled album.  

So it’s only natural for the Tennessee trio to make yet another sonic shift on their latest album, this time in the form of post-punk and 2000s indie sleaze. Born out of post-lockdown malaise, This is Why is a record of two halves: the first half spiky and angular, powered by jittery sort of energy; the second half subdued and rather longing. 

The title track restlessly twists and turns like a snake in the desert heat until it explodes into a leery dance-punk chorus, Williams’ fierce demands coming off like seductive taunts. ‘The News’ is menacing and kinetic, echoing the all-consuming anxiety we feel at the 24-hour news cycle. ‘C’est Comme Ça’ has a snarky na-na-na-like energy that proves infectious, as divisive as it was upon release. 

‘Running Out of Time’ turns perpetual lateness into a funky 80s bop, Williams asking ‘What if I'm just a selfish prick? On highlight ‘You First’ she’s both ' the killer and the final girl,’ recalling the brooding and intense nature of Petals for Armor. 

Williams spends a lot of This is Why beating herself up: For not caring enough, for caring too much, for not owning up to her feelings, for wanting to relive more carefree times. She craves nostalgia; she scolds herself for attracting ‘broken people.’ She seemingly envies the ‘smooth operator in a shit-stained suit,’ the man who can pick up where he left off with no real consequences after causing a scandal. On ‘Liar,’ she struggles to admit her feelings to bandmate Taylor York. Even on ‘C’est Comme Ça,’ she finds adulthood a bore, wryly telling the listener that ‘it’s my dependence on the friction that really hinders my progression.’ 

Her sentiments are nothing new, her mixed feelings towards Paramore’s biggest hit probably the best example of this. Four years on, the singer still feels compelled to justify her more enlightened position on ‘Misery Business,’ even when no one asked.  

I’m inclined to agree with Spectrum Pulse, that it’s much more interesting to examine its ‘ugly emotional truth’ rather than try to distance yourself from it, especially from a feminist perspective. You don’t see Avril disowning ‘Girlfriend,’ not too dissimilar to ‘Misery Business’ in terms of romantic angst. 

Coming in at a tight 36 minutes, many have called This is Why Paramore’s most mature album yet and praised the band for supposedly growing out of their bratty punk phase, as if they only became jaded elder millennials just recently. But that’s kinda selling the trio short: They’ve always had a knack for sonic reinvention and have long possessed a maturity and jadedness beyond their years, culminating in their magnum opus, After Laughter, which almost saw them break up. For every snarky pop punk anthem like ‘Misery Business,’ there’s a ‘Brick by Boring Brick’ or ‘Hard Times.’ 

Though the record is not without its flaws. The post-punk influence is rather overstated and doesn’t really go beyond a handful of tracks. It also feels thematically scattered, placing personal introspection alongside rather vague and sometimes dated political statements.  

What else is there to say about pandemic-era politics that hasn’t already been said? How can William be so shocked and horrified at the stream of bad news that’s plagued us these past few years, then just... turn off the TV? Even this refrain from ‘The News’ – ‘Exploitative, performative, rhetorical… deplorable’ – feels like a bunch of buzzwords ripped straight from Twitter or the Tumblr blog of some smug teenage know-it-all circa 2014, crammed between a bunch of Sherlock and Supernatural gifs. For someone who’s been so politically vocal in recent years, who bared her soul so brilliantly on her solo work, Williams is oddly restrained on This is Why.   

Sonically, though, the album is pristine, delivering pop punk nostalgia and sleek rock grooves in equal measure. Notable mentions go to York’s indie stylings on ‘You First,’ Williams’ lush harmonies on ‘Liar’ and Zac Farro’s punchy drumwork on ‘Running Out of Time.’ 

While After Laughter saw a band on the verge of collapse, This is Why sees Paramore triumphantly bounce back. It might lack the sardonic wit and righteous fury of After Laughter or even Paramore, but it does remind us just how beautifully chaotic this band can truly be…  

- Bianca B. 

[echobx]

I decided to take the questions from this ask game to introduce myself a little more.

❤️ how tall are you?

5'4 / 163cm

🧡 what is your sexuality?

I'm queer all over, but ig the closest when it comes to a specific label would be pan

💛 what is your favorite feature on yourself?

my hair (unless they betray me) and my eyes (and lips...)

💚 where are you from?

Germany

🩵 do you have any pets?

yes. I have two cats, Prince (11 years old) and Maggi (3 years old). our dogs Luigi (6 years old) and Liv (2 years old) are more family dogs. and my sister has two more cats, Sunny (6 years old) and Lila (5 years old)

💙 do you have any siblings?

yes. I have four half siblings, two on my mom's and two on my dad's side. but I only really talk to my sister that still lives with me and my parents.

💜 describe yourself in five words or less!

loyal, smart, funny, neurodivergent™ (and forgetful bc idk what else I am)

🩷 dream job?

full time writer

🖤 favorite hobbies outside of your blog

I collect vinyl, love to read and swim but mostly I watch shows and get deep into the lore of them and I love to talk about them with like minded people

🎂 when is your birthday?

November 27th

🌙 your zodiac (Sun, Moon, Rising)

Sun & Moon Sagittarius, Leo Rising

💉do you have tattoos and/or piercings

I only have a single set of lobe piercings for earrings, but I dream of having at least two sets, and a helix one for my right ear

🚗 can you drive?

yes. I learnt to drive manual (stick) and I only had to drive automatic once and hated that specific loss of control

✈️ favorite place you’ve traveled

Munich. I haven't been that many places, and I've never flown.

🎤 have you been to a concert

no. but that will hopefully change soon.

🎵 favorite artists

Taylor Swift, Lizzy McAlpine, Conan Gray, Billie Eilish, Cro, Finneas

🎧 last song you listened too

All Too Well (10 Minute Version) (Taylor's Version)

📺 last show you watched

Game of Thrones (rewatch)

📝 last thing you wrote

“Love you too, J,” I whispered while drifting off and hoping that he hadn't actually heard me.

🔐 something no one would guess about you

I've only ever had one person tell me that they love me and it was the most awkward moment of my life bc the guy was someone I considered to possibly become my friend and not to be interested romatically in me. and ig I broke his heart and I didn't feel any bad about it, but all of my "friends" told me I was cruel and I should give him a chance bc "at least he's interested in you" in retrospect I should definitely have cut ties with my friends that second and it just shows how little these ppl thought of me. just bc I'm a bigger girl doesn't mean I have to settle for the first guy who shows interest, and even worse bc he later turned out to be one of the most toxic ppl I was ever friends with

🧟‍♀️ scariest thing that’s happened to you

I got really drunk, like blackout drunk, bc I drank a whole bottle of vodka and had nothing to eat all day (2.3‰ by the end as it turned out) and the ambulance that was to take me to the ER took a detour and idk what happened in those missing 20 minutes... so ig that

🔥 craziest thing that’s ever happened to you

on the one school ski trip (the only time I ever went skiing in my life) on the last day I literally went head over heals when going down the mountain and my ski flew a few feet away from me and my teachers all thought I just killed myself or broke something to the very least, but I just got up and kept going. but maybe this accident is the reason for my chronic back pain that no one ever checked up on. (srsly fuck those old white men doctors)

🍓 favorite food

pancakes

🍅 least favorite food

olives and mushrooms

🍊 favorite season?

spring

🍋 favorite genre to read / watch / write

read: fantasy

watch: fantasy

write: romance

🍐 if you could make one character real, who would it be

def JJ for very selfish reasons 👀

🫐 some place you’d love to visit

San Francisco

🍇 a word your friends would use to describe you

feisty (@notdxbya said so)

🍒 what is your earliest memory

we were at the Playmobil Park and I was milking a plastic cow

🍌 what is one talent you wish you had

I wish I could study and instantly know it all, like I read it not more than twice and know it.

💌 why did you start this blog?

bc I felt the need to share my writing

✏️ when did you start writing fanfic

actually genuinely, in March 2023 bc the third season of OBX fucked me up big time and I needed to fix it (I'm still working on that one)

but my first fanfic, that I never finished, was in 2014 I believe and it was Hunger Games fic that I wrote in german on Instagram

🖇️ what are your favorite asks to answer

meta. like, anything that let's me dive into meta and characterisation especially. specifically JJ (and Kiara and Rafe bc I pay attention to those three the most when I watch OBX)

📚 how do you come up with the fics you write

a lot of times I get inspired by songs or something I read sparks an idea. other times I just get a scene stuck in my head. or (which happens rarely) I dream something vaguely specific and then I try and put the characters in that scenario or something, that one gave me way to write one of my most favorite chapters I've ever written for my Lovebirds fic, which will be posted this year, I hope...

📌 what is the fic you’re know for

idk 😶 literally no clue, I'd have to ask my moots or followers. ig if my stuff got more popular then maybe.

🔍 what character do you enjoy writing for the most

JJ definitely bc I'm just so much easier in that mindset and it doesn't feel like I'm an imposter.

🖊️ what character do you not enjoy writing for

I think I would have the worst time writing John B or Topper bc I just don't vibe with them 😭

💔 is there a fic you wish you didn’t write

yeah, the Ghostface one 💀

❤️‍🔥 what character do you simp for most often

JJ Maybank, he's my girlfriend, duh

🧚‍♀️ favorite characters of all time

JJ Maybank, Percy Jackson (pjo), Leo Valdez (pjo), Katniss Everdeen (thg), Jacaerys Verlaryon/Targaryen (hotd), Yelena Belova (mcu)

🪐 favorite shows / series of all time

New Girl (if you haven't watched it, shame on you! go watch it now!)

🌝 a show you would recommend to anyone

New Girl lol

but also Game of Thrones (but only s1-6 max. maybe even stop after 4 bc it starts to get bad after 4) and

House of the Dragon (we'll see how the following seasons will go)

for something else lighter, maybe Bob's Burgers it's incredibly funny and well written

🌚 a show you’d tell people to stay away from

OBX 💀 like I love it but it's my guilty pleasure, but it's badly written and has plot holes in abundance and waaay too much fan service

🌹 favorite kinks to write for

cockwarming, that's probably it bc other than that I don't really have a preference

🥀 kinks you would never write for

I wouldn't say never, but uf I try it I'll do it on my own account and not bc someone asks for it.

that said, I doubt I'll ever write anything that concerns anal bc I have trauma there and if I would I'd first have to work myself through that part of my life and right now I don't have time for that

🌊 a kink you would like to write but you think you’d be judged

stepcest 💀 I'm not doing it for reasons that only make sense to me and not for the obvious ones

❄️ full fics, imagines or head canons

full fics. bc I hardly ever not dive too deep. I have a hard time writing short stuff, literally 2k words is short for me 😭 so don't expect me to write something short ever, unless my brain won't let a fic happen

☂️ your favorite fanfic from another writer

for JJ it's Safety Net by @mvybanks

for Rafe it's Watch and Learn by @nadvs

[cyarskaren52]

Grammys 2020 recap: Billie Eilish wins big, Demi Lovato moved to tears and Alicia Keys honors Kobe Bryant

Billie Eilish won five awards.

via

January 27, 2020, 12:15 AM ET

• 8 min read

This is the story of Kobe Bryant’s life Kobe Bryant, 41, and his daughter Gianna, 13, were killed in helicopter crash.Matt Sayles/Invision/AP Photo

The 2020 Grammy Awards were a somewhat somber occasion this year, taking place at the Staples Center in Los Angeles just hours after L.A. Lakers legend Kobe Bryant died in a helicopter crash.

Bryant and his 13-year-old daughter, Gianna, were among the nine victims who died in a crash that took place in Calabasas, Calif. on Sunday morning.

While many musicians remarked on the red carpet that the tragedy made "music's biggest night" bittersweet, the show did have moments of levity.

In the end, the night belonged to Billie Eilish, who spent about as much time on stage as host Alicia Keys.

Here's a recap of the ceremony's most talked-about moments.

1. Kobe Bryant is honored at the top of the show: After many stars memorialized to Bryant on the red carpet, Lizzo kicked off the 2020 Grammys by announcing, "Tonight is for Kobe," and host Alicia Keys paid tribute to the NBA star in her monologue.

"We're literally standing here, heartbroken, in the house that Kobe Bryant built," Keys said. "Right now, Kobe and his daughter Gianna and all of those that have been tragically lost today are in our spirit, and our hearts and our prayers."

Keys asked the crowd to take a moment to remember Bryant, and was joined on stage by Boyz II Men to sing their hit, "It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday."

"We wanted to do something that could describe, a tiny bit, how we all feel right now," she explained. "We never imagined in a million years we'd have to start the show like this."

2. Stars remember Prince and Nipsey Hussle:It's been almost four years since Prince died, and to honor the late singer, Usher, FKA Twigs and Prince's longtime collaborator Sheila E. took the stage for a performance of the late singer's hits "Little Red Corvette," "When Doves Cry" and "Kiss."

Later in the show, Nipsey Hussle, who was fatally shot in Los Angeles last March, was remembered in a tribute by Meek Mill, Roddy Rich, John Legend, DJ Khaled, Kirk Franklin and YG. At the end of DJ Khaled's song, "Higher," on which Hussle was featured, the late rapper's photo, along with Bryant's, was shown. "Higher" later won the award for best rap song, and Khaled dedicated the honor to Hussle.

"We all love him, we all miss him," Legend added.

3. Performances from every genre rock the Staples Center: For many, the biggest reason to tune in to the Grammys is to watch the performances, and this year, they didn't disappoint.

Lizzo started the show by belting out "Cuz I Love You" and "Truth Hurts," followed by real-life couple Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani singing "Nobody But You."

The Jonas Brothers serenaded the crowd with "Five More Minutes" and "What's a Man Gotta Do," and then Tyler, the Creator performed "Earfquake" and "New Magic Wand" with Boyz II Men and Charlie Wilson.

Later, Lil Nas X and Billy Ray Cyrus brought down the house with their hit "Old Town Road," along with BTS, Mason Ramsey, Diplo, Young Thug and Nas. Ariana Grande sang "Imagine," "7 Rings" and "Thank U, Next," and Demi Lovato moved viewers with her emotional new song, "Anyone."

Other performers included Camila Cabello, Tanya Tucker, Rosalia, H.E.R., and Gary Clark Jr., among others.

4. Demi Lovato returns to the stage: Just before her overdose in the summer of 2018, Demi Lovato wrote a song called "Anyone," which she recently described as a "cry for help." The 27-year-old singer took the stage at the Grammysfor her first performance since her hospitalization, delivering an emotional performance that brought her to tears.

"Anyone, please send me anyone. Lord, is there anyone? I need someone," she sang.

The crowd gave her a standing ovation.

5. Billie Eilish wins big: At just 18, Billie Eilish has accomplished things most musicians can only dream of. The singer picked up five of the six Grammys for which she was nominated on Sunday, including best new artist, album of the year for "When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?" and song of the year and record of the year for "Bad Guy."

In her acceptance speech for record of the year, Eilish said she thought Ariana Grande deserved the honor, and she laughed when she picked up album of the year.

"Thank you," she said, simply.

Sent from my iPhone

[quarantinehomies]

Zeltzin: S.O.S

I sat frozen in the middle of my math lecture hall, staring at the message on my phone. What I see before me is a positive COVID test from my friend, John. Beside me sat Lily, and we were right in the middle of the lecture hall as we saw the positive COVID test on our phones. I immediately tuned out the sound coming from my professor as I turn to Lily. I remember her turning to me asking if we should leave because we spent time with John prior to our lecture and we ended up leaving our lecture sooner than later since the lecture ended in five minutes. We rushed back to Merrill, which was a whole journey from science hill. As we were completely out of breath, I had a bad feeling that there was something wrong with me. Once we were at the top of the hill, I felt like I couldn't breathe at all usually, I’m out of breath but not like this. I’d also like to mention that I’ve had COVID before, but I didn't feel as horrible as I did at the moment.

We meet John outside on the Merrill plaza and we all test again on a bench. I unpacked the COVID test and held my breath as I swabbed the inside of the nose, my nose ring getting caught with each swab. I dreaded this process and only found the part about dipping the drops into the test. Three drops in and immediately my COVID test showed two lines. I was so distraught over these results because I already got COVID in the past and I got my most recent booster months ago, which I know isn't a guarantee that I'm immune from COVID, but it still sucked to see. I remember thinking that this second time getting it won't be that bad because my body knew how to deal with it. However, I was so wrong. 

A temporary solution that I thought of was to quarantine in my room with John. I informed Valerie of my misfortune, and I told her to leave the room to stay with Richard and Lily in Merrill B. As John and I stayed in my room, I remember us just sitting on the floor, completely clueless about what to do in this situation. What was there to do? Could the timing be any worse? Was I going to fail my classes? I was spiraling. Until we got a call from Richard informing us he, too, had COVID. New plan. John and I transferred to Richard's room, and we had Lily and Valerie stay in my room. 

Now staying in Richards's room was an experience. Arriving there I took over his bed, and he was forced to stay in his roommate's bed, but I got priority since I was the one dying the most out of the two. The room was a double with beds that weren't lofted and I felt grateful because I did not want to waste a breath climbing up the ladder of a loft bed. I recall spending most of my time just coughing and trying to breathe as I rot in his bed. Time felt stagnant and life felt like we were in a Billie Eilish music video covering her album Happier Than Ever. I only left the bed when I needed to use the restroom and that alone exerted too much energy. I felt like a wilting flower petal. 

On a brighter note, we tried to make the most of it. We watched Netflix until dark and would always make commentary on the shows. I felt like we were movie critics and it became our full-time job. We watched a lot of Dahmer and that ended up giving me nightmares almost every night, but I found the show so enticing we were all so invested in finishing up the series. We also would try to include Lily and Val, who still lived in our room. Teleparties were a big hit, but we would all end up falling asleep during the hour-long movie, but we would make up for it with short and sweet FaceTime checking in on each other. All was at somewhat of an equilibrium until Valerie tested positive.

The next morning, we had a new roommate added to the room that was meant to be a double. We established Valerie would live in Richard's bed with me since that’s the only space the room could provide and she could join us in our endless Netflix binging. Now that the room was occupying four people, we had to feed four stomachs and the food variety wasn’t existent. The food they provided us was very plain, but that could be because of my loss of taste. I recall us using Grubhub as a resource sometimes, but I still couldn't taste my food, so it felt almost discouraging to eat. Just when I thought things couldn’t take a turn for the worst, Lily tested positive for COVID.

The next morning, we had a new roommate added to the room that was meant to be a Back to my original plan! Since we were all positive, we all migrated to me and Valerie’s room. This was somewhat of good timing since Richard's roommate wanted to move back into the room so he could have it all to himself now. I guess someone is a winner. I was feeling mixed about us all having COVID. I liked how we were all able to quarantine together, but also it wasn’t good fortune that we all were suffering from the virus. All the more, I enjoyed becoming reunited with my bed. Val reunited with her bed as well and as for everyone else, their new home was on the floor, which wasn’t anything new for John. Altogether we would have game nights and I would laugh until my stomach hurt. COVID didn't feel so bad when I was with all of them.

 As time passed, I was feeling better but Lily seemed to do worse since she just received COVID. Someone suggested we should go on a walk and so we all put our masks on and walked over to the East Field. The breeze was light and the sun hurt my eyes as I felt like I was a vampire being exposed to sunlight for the first time. I took pictures to capture these moments as I felt like it was a momentous occasion to finally be stepping foot outside. I did however feel a bit out of breath since that was the most active I have ever been. We all eventually headed back to our cave, isolated from society. 

The happy ending to my story was that I was starting to feel a lot better, and it was a week that had passed, so I decide to test myself again and, to my surprise, tested negative. I have never felt happier failing a test before. Valerie also tested negative that same day, and it felt like there was some light at the end of the tunnel. However, the rest who were still sick would test positive, and since we had immunity and they had nowhere else to go so they stayed in our room until they tested positive. Life remained the same until John finally tested negative. 

My family had invited me to attend a quinceanera for my neighbor and I was thrilled! It felt like this was a celebration of finally being free. I invited John and Valerie to go with me since they were negative and the next day we were off to celebrate a quinceanera but also our negative COVID tests. 

[vendettaparker]

Happier Than Ever [T.H]

“[...] that shit's embarrassing, you were my everything, And all that you did was make me fucking sad. So don't waste the time I don't have. Don't try to make me feel bad.” -Billie Eilish (Happier Than Ever)

Summary: After another disastrous date with your boyfriend, a handsome British stranger is left to help you pick up the pieces of your broken heart, and relearn your self-worth.

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings: swearing, slut-shaming, implications of drinking, typos (i’ll go back through later and fix them)

a/n: i’m so so so happy with how this turned out! Billie Eilish’s new album definitely gave me the motivation i needed to get this fic finished and out. i really love her new songs and i think she did a great job with this most recent album. i hope you guys love this fic as much as i do, and as always, comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated! love you!

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

“Love is like a contractual agreement,” Your sister had told you once, “you promise to be faithful and love him, and in return, he is faithful and loves you. It’s a very simple concept at its core.” You were only eleven when she began to shed her wisdom and insights on love, and since you were so close, you ate up every lie she fed you.

In the end, she never knew anything about love. She probably never even felt it. She just wanted to give you hope. Hope that maybe love in your life would be different. She had just called off her engagement to her boyfriend after finding out he was married. That was the hardest day of her life. And though it wasn’t hard for you in the same sense as it was to her. It taught you something more valuable than she ever did. It taught you that she had no idea what love is. She never knew, and your whole life she kept telling you that love was perfect and happy, but in reality, love was messy and complicated, and it hurt more than it healed. 

At least, that’s how Ryan was. 

After you realized your sister was giving you false hope, you did what no twenty-something year old should do; you settled. 

You settled with your high school sweetheart even though you knew the flame was dying. Even though you were unhappy most days and alone most nights. You settled. You settled because this must be love. If love isn’t perfection and bliss, then this must be it. This must be as good as it gets.

“Are you ready to order, Miss?” The waitress asked as she strolled up to your table. 

“Sorry,” You shook your head, “a few more minutes, please? I’m waiting on someone.” 

The waitress gave you a kind smile, but you could already see the pity behind her eyes. You tried going to this restaurant with Ryan last week, but he canceled last minute. The unfortunate part was that it was the same waitress as last week, and it’s like deja vu, being forced to relive the embarrassment of that night. 

“Take your time,” The young woman said, before strolling off, no doubt to tell her coworkers how sad it was to watch you sit there all alone, again. 

You let out a breath, trying to calm yourself so you didn’t end up crying. That’d just make it all the more embarrassing when you inevitably would have to leave, most likely without your dignity. 

“You alright?” The man at the table next to you asked. 

He’d been there for almost ten minutes after you, and already him and his whole party were ready to get their appetizers after getting their drinks. He was with four other men, and the entire time they had all been joking around and laughing, having an amazing time, the complete polar opposite of how your night was going.

“Oh yeah, I’m fine,” You looked over at him, finally taking in all his features. The fluffy brown hair, the soft, warm, hazel eyes, the crooked, yet perfect nose, and finally the one crooked eyebrow, crazy, yet enticing. 

Tom had been sitting with his friends all night, and though he was having an objectively good time, he couldn’t help but notice how alone and sad you seemed. The minute he walked in his eyes darted to the beauty at the table in the back. He’d never admit it, but he requested a booth when the waiter initially offered them a table, just because he hoped luck was on his side to seat him next to you. 

“Are you sure?” Tom asked, leaning slightly more towards your table and away from his own, “I just can’t help but notice you seem a little...down?”

“Is it that obvious?” You chuckled awkwardly. 

“A little,” Tom shrugged, with a light chuckle of his own. 

You let out a groan and covered your face with your hands, “this is so embarrassing,” you complained, “this is the second time in two weeks my boyfriend has skipped out on a date.”

Tom gave you a sympathetic smile, “Well, he sounds like an ass,” he said, shaking his head, “Um, I mean, respectfully.”

You laughed and waved the comment off, “No you’re fine. He’s been a bit of a dick lately if I’m being honest.”

“Well, before I continue bashing your boyfriend with you,” Tom said with a boyish smile, “my name’s Tom.” He held his hand out across the small aisle way between the tables for you to shake. 

You happily shook his hand, “I’m (Y/N), it’s a pleasure to meet you.” 

“The pleasure is all mine.”

“Wow, funny and a charmer?” You raised your eyebrows.

“I’m kind of a catch,” Tom shrugged with a laugh.

“Oh, I can tell,” You assured him with a nod, “cute too.” Tom’s cheeks heated up at your compliment and turned red, “sorry that was out of line,” You shook your head, “I mean, I barely even know you. I swear, I’m never this open or flustered, it’s just been a rough night—well, week actually.”

“No, no, it’s alright,” Tom assured, “you’re very pretty.”

“Thank you,” You smiled and looked down to cover the rising blush that was no doubt covering your cheeks as well now. 

“Tom,” Harry nudged his brother whilst you were looking down.

“Not now,” Tom dismissed, still too enamored with you. 

“Just go sit with her, mate,” Harry whispered harshly.

“No, that’s too weird.” Tom nudged him back, “she’s waiting for her boyfriend.” 

Harry rolled his eyes before shoving Tom out of his seat and onto the floor next to your table. 

“Ow, you div!” Tom yelped as he tumbled into your table. 

“Oh my God,” You gasped as Tom sat up, “are you okay?” You asked, getting out of your chair and bending down to help him up. 

“Gee, Tom,” Harrison said as he and the boys began to laugh, “you’re so clumsy.” 

“Yeah, wow, we’d hate to have you spilling our drinks or anything,” Harry laughed, “maybe it’s best if you take a minute to compose yourself.”

“You’re all divs,” Tom frowned, “the whole lot of ya.” 

“You can sit here if you want,” You motioned to the empty seat across from you, “I doubt it’s gonna be taken anytime soon.” 

“Thanks,” Tom smiled as he took the seat across from you, “it’s nice to know at least one person here isn't out to get me.” 

The waitress came back around just as Tom was taking his seat, “Can I get you two started with some appetizers?” she asked kindly, handing you and Tom a menu, “We have a new special,” she smiled brightly as she opened the menu for you and pointed to the new item, “it’s Maki coated and fried, served with spicy hollandaise sauce and topped with fresh green onions.” 

You were about to decline and hand her the menu back, but Tom beat you to it, “Sure, we’ll take an order of that. And some champagne when you get the chance,” He said with his signature boyish smile.

The waitress wrote it down and left with a wave while Tom skimmed the menu.

“You didn’t have to do that,” You said, “you should be having dinner with your friends right now.”

“And leave a pretty girl all by herself?” Tom scoffed, “I’d never. Besides I’d much rather spend this time getting to know you, (Y/N).”

Your name rolled off of his tongue so perfectly. It was smooth and sounded like pure honey dripping from his lips. You’d never outright loved your name before, but now, hearing from his mouth, it nearly made you a narcissist with how much you adored it. 

“There’s not much to know really,” You said sheepishly, “I’m just a girl with a shitty boyfriend, sitting alone in a five-star restaurant.”

“Most girls don’t say that,” Tom pointed out, making you chuckle. 

“True,” You nodded, “what do you want to know?” 

The waitress dropped off your champagne just as the conversation between you and Tom began to take off. 

“I don’t know,” Tom shrugged, tell me something crazy, something you’ve never told anyone else. Or something sad, something that stuck with you your whole life.” 

“Hm,” You pondered for a moment while the waitress came by with your maki, “thank you,” You smiled at her before she strutted away. “Well, something crazy is, I’ve never been out of the country. I’ve always lived in the States, but I’ve also always wanted to travel, I just don’t have the time or the means to.”

“Really?” Tom quirked a brow, “That’s crazy, my job has been traveling all over the world. I’m somewhat envious of people who don’t need to constantly update their visa.”

“What do you do?”

“I act,” Tom said proudly, “I’m not that famous though, only been in a handful of films.” 

“He’s lying!” Harry called, “He’s Spider-Man.” 

“Shut up, you twat!” Tom waved his brother off. “I mean I am, but it’s not that big of a deal.”

“No, don’t sell yourself short,” You smiled, “that’s amazing. Marvel is such a cool studio too. I’m a film student, so I’m a bit of a movie geek.”

“But you’ve never seen Spider-Man?” 

You shook your head, “I’ve seen the Tobey Maguire one if that counts?” 

“It most certainly does not,” Tom gasped, “you have wounded me, woman.” 

“My sincerest apologies,” You giggled. 

“Is the happy couple ready to order?” The waitress asked as she strolled up to the table where you and Tom were giggling like little school girls.

“Oh, we—we’re not—uh, we’re just friends.” You and Tom stuttered simultaneously. 

“Oh, my apologies,” The waitress said softly, a little glint of disappointment in her eyes, “what can I get for y’all today?”

“You go ahead, love,” Tom smiled at you, “my treat.”

“Oh, really, I couldn't.” You said, pushing the menu away, “I honestly should get going; I’ve taken up enough of your time tonight.” You smiled politely at Tom and the waitress before you began to rise out of your seat.

“No, darling, really it’s no bother.” Tom insisted. “You’ve had a rough night, it’s the least I can do.” 

“Really it’s fine,” You assured, “I don’t need you to take pity on me.” 

“I could at least call you a cab or walk—”

“Babe,” Ryan startled you, rushing up to give you a half-hearted hug, “I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

“Ryan…” You wiggled out of his grip, the waitress and Tom standing idly by, “I texted you the location three times.” 

“Oh, you know how I am with navigation, babe.” Ryan slurred, wrapping his arm around you and pushing you back into your seat. The smell of liquor was evident on his breath, and the effects were clearer in his actions.

“Actually, I was just leaving—”

“No, no,” Ryan dismissed, “I’ve missed too many dates, let’s stay. Look you already got champagne, perfect!” 

You gave Tom an apologetic look as he stood and Ryan shoved past him to take his seat. Tom just nodded before taking his seat back with his mates. 

“I’m so sorry,” You whispered over to him.

“It’s alright, love, I’m just glad you—”

“Babe,” Ryan huffed, “come on, stop flirting with that ass.” 

You rolled your eyes and turned your attention back to Ryan, “I’m not. I was just thanking him for keeping me company while I waited for you.” 

“Good, now get back over here. Come on, you're the one that wanted to have a date so bad.”

You settled back into your seat properly and Tom turned back to his table. He ignored the sympathetic glances of his mates and quickly got back into conversation with them. While you sat dully in your chair, trying to find the little spark you had with Tom in Ryan. 

“Are we all settled and ready to order now?” The waitress asked.

“Yes, I’ll have the New Zealand lamb,” You said, “medium rare.”

“Of course,” The waitress said, writing it down in her little black notepad, “and for you, sir?”

“Shit, I’ve barely got to look at the menu,” Ryan hiccuped, “um, do y’all have steak fries?”

“Yes, we have regular steak fries or sweet potato steak fries.” 

“Ew, gross shit. Uh—” Ryan rubbed his eyes and peered at the woman, “I’ll have a large plate of those, extra salt, extra-crisp, yeah?”

“Of course,” She said, “I’ll be right back with those orders.” 

You envied how she could just walk away. How she could just get away from his stench, while you had to sit, miserable on a date you had planned. The regret was stronger now than it had ever been. 

“How was your day at work?” You asked Ryan, as he scrolled through his phone.

“It was alright, stupid bitch receptionist messed up one of my meeting times.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry. I’m sure it was an accident.”

“Yeah, I know it was. I just implied it, god, are you slow today or something?” Ryan scoffed with a chuckle.

“Sorry,” You cleared your throat, “I’m just a bit tired.”

“Yeah, you look it,” Ryan said with a smirk, “I like that dress on you, though. Is it new?”

“Yeah,” You smiled, “I didn’t think you’d notice,” You looked down at the shimmery backless dress. It had puffy sleeves that met your elbows and a hue that was glimmering with a tint of purple. 

“How could I not,” Ryan said with a faux smile, “you look like a slut.”

“W-what?” You gasped, holding a hand to your chest, “Why—what—why would you say that?”

Ryan had always made snide comments about your outfits before. It’s always, “That shirt shouldn’t be cropped, you don’t have the figure for it.” or “That top is too low cut, your tits are hanging out.” sometimes it was even, “Your makeup makes you look like a clown.” For once you thought maybe you’d gotten it right. You’d gotten it just the way he liked it. What a stupid thought. What a ruse.

“I mean seriously. Look at yourself, no wonder that dick from the next table over wanted to keep you company, he probably just wanted to get into your pants tonight.” Ryan scoffed, motioning over to Tom’s table.

Tom was in too deep of a conversation to notice the brewing tensions and mentions of himself, but Harrison noticed, and Harrison was livid.

“Mate,” Harrison garnered Tom’s attention and nodded over to your table, where the look of hurt was so blatantly etched onto your face.

“I-I just—I just wanted to look nice for you tonight.” You sniffled, wiping a tear from the corner of your eye with your napkin, “I just bought this dress. I thought it was appropriate for a date.”

“If you were a whore maybe.”

“Hey,” Tom said sternly, drawing Ryan’s attention, “what the fuck man?” 

“I’m just being honest with her,” Ryan defended, “I mean, man to man, you thought she looked nice tonight, right?”

“I did,” Tom agreed, “because she is a beautiful girl and from the short time I talked to her I could tell she had a lovely personality, which is more than I’m sure anyone could say for you.”

“You’re fucking stupid if you think for a second I believe you weren’t just talking to her so you could fuck her later.” Ryan laughed, “I know exactly what you’re thinking.” 

“Really?” Tom raised a brow, “So you know that I’m thinking you’re an arrogant bastard right now?” 

Ryan’s face dropped and turned into a red, angry scowl, “I don’t have to take this shit,” he seethed. “Come on, (Y/N), we’re leaving.” 

“No,” You said, “you’re drunk and I don’t want to be around you right now.” 

“Really,” Ryan raised his brow, “Is that how it’s gonna be? Fine, good luck paying the bill then, I’m closing the bank account, bitch.” Ryan stated, spitting on you before storming away. 

You wiped your eyes from the tears that were running down your cheeks and sullying your makeup. 

“I’m sorry,” You said to Tom as you stood up and began to gather your things, “I’m sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused you tonight. Enjoy your evening.” You gave him a small smile before going to the front desk to sort out your bill.

“(Y/N), wait—”, but you were too embarrassed, too dead set on leaving, that you had already made it to the front of the restaurant by the time Tom had gotten out of his seat. 

When he too made it to the front, you weren’t there, only the hostess and a few stray waiters and waitresses.

“Where did the girl who was just here go?” Tom asked, “She had on a shiny dress—”

“She just left, sir.” 

“Damn it,” Tom ran his fingers through his hair, “do you know where she went or anything?” 

“I believe I just saw her hail a taxi.” The hostess said, “But we took down her information and she’ll be back tomorrow with cash to pay her bill.” 

“No need,” Tom shook his head, “I’ll pay for it.” 

“Are you sure? It’s a bit pricey—”

“Yes, I’m sure,” Tom said, placing his credit card onto the table. 

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

It was the next morning when you woke up and immediately began throwing away photos and gifts, anything really that had any connotation of Ryan. You were so busy snuffing out his memory that you momentarily forgot that he was still there. Until he woke up with a migraine and demanded Aspirin and water.

“Babe, come on,” Ryan whined, “I was drunk, I didn’t mean any of the things I said last night. I hardly remember it.” 

“Drunk words are sober thoughts, Ry.” You said as you began to pack his things in a bag, “and don’t act like you haven’t said shit like that to me before. I want you out of here in the next two hours. Your clothes are in this blue bag and your personal belongings are in these trash bags. If you don’t leave, I’ll call the cops.” 

“You’ll call the cops?” Ryan scoffed, “On me? Really? We live together, you can’t kick me out.” 

“You’re living in my apartment, Ryan. I have every right to throw you out on your ass.”

Ryan’s face of anger quickly turned into remorse, but you kept stoic. This needed to happen. It was so long overdue. Last night, even if you never saw Tom again, you felt a spark that you haven't felt in years. You realized that this wasn’t love anymore; it was submission. It was the way people felt when they have given up on themselves, and you were no longer going to be that person.

“Babe, I’m sorry, okay? I swear I am. Come on, let's go out to breakfast and we can talk and work this out. You can’t just throw away a four-year relationship.” Ryan begged.

“See!” You yelled “that's exactly it! I have wasted years of my life with you. Four years stuck in an endless loop of torment. It’s torture being stuck here with you! It’s hell! My personal hell! I have missed so much of my life trying to fix you; trying to fix us! I missed my mom’s birthday for the past two years, I missed my dad’s retirement party, I missed my sister’s funeral, all because you held me back!” You yelled as the hot tears began to stream down your face, no doubt making you look manic, “I’m done letting you hold me back, so get the fuck out!”

Ryan was gone within the hour. It took a lot of screaming and a momentary dial to 9-1-1, but finally, he was gone. And as shitty as the situation was, you didn’t feel nearly as sad as you did when he was with you. You were finally free, and with that freedom came happiness. The happiness you hadn’t felt in so long. 

So there you sat, just enjoying the peacefulness of your apartment. Ordering takeout for yourself, watching the shows you wanted to, calling your mom back home. The little things you never realized you took for granted so long ago. 

Then the doorbell rang.

You opened the door, wallet in hand, only to be met with the honey-dipped brown eyes that helped you in more ways than they’d ever realize.

“Did someone order Chinese?” Tom said with a smile.

“It’s you.” You said, not realizing how wide you were smiling until your cheeks hurt. “I thought you were an actor?”

“I am,” Tom said, “that’s probably what led the delivery guy to hand over your order so quickly. I ran into him on my way up, made me snap a photo with him.”

“How did you find me?”

“I may have snuck a peek at the paper with your info on it at the restaurant last night.” Tom said sheepishly, a light branding of pink covering his cheeks, “too stalkerish?”

“A little,” You chuckled, standing aside to invite him in, “you’re not going to kill me though, right?”

“Tom Holland? A murderer?” Tom gasped in faux offense, “Darling, you must stop bruising my ego like this.” 

You laughed and took the food out of his hands, “I’m sorry, but a girl can never be too safe.”

“True, I mean, I’m not sure if I’m happy you let me in, or disappointed that you didn’t question me more.” 

“Well, I’m happy,” You smiled, “I didn’t think I’d see you again.”

“I just wanted to make sure you were alright,” Tom said, scratching the back of his neck, “Your boyfriend didn’t hurt you or anything, right?”

“Ex-boyfriend,” You corrected, causing Tom to smile despite himself, “and no, he didn't hurt me.”

“Ex?” Tom asked, just to be sure, “as in, not anymore?”

“Yes,” You chuckled, “as in, not anymore. Also as in, you are free to stay and eat crappy Chinese food and watch South Park with me.” 

“I’d be an idiot not to, darling.” 

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

✧tags & moots✧

@ptersmj @princessofguineapigs @peterbenjiparker @cherrytholland​ @itsapeterthing @justapurrcat​ @thirstiestpotato @kelieah​ @iovebug​  @rosyparkers @parkers-gal @starktonyx​ @celestialholland  @hollandcrush​ @scarletspideyy @blissfulparker @spidernerdsblog @spidey-sophie @spideyspeaches @peterparkers-bad-youtube-apology @andilovetowrite @sinisterspidey @asonofpeter @arlo-sanders @boiolay @letssee2468  @white-wolf1940 @fandom-life-12 @hollandsdream @annathesillyfriend @lovelybarnes @miseryholland @wierdteenagenerd @hollandprkr @arvinsescape @super-not-naturall @allthisfortommy @selfcarecap @misshale21 @morganwilliams @loveaffaire @illicitparker @tomfknholland @pogueslandia @tomshufflepuff @harryhollandsgirlfriend @hollandlover19 @worldoftom @hollandsrecs @lauras-collection @lolooo22 @namoreno @thenoddingbunny-blog @bi-lmg07 

[obx-snippets]

when I'm away from you ( 1 )

gifs by @jedidiahtiens​ & @jjmaybanks​

Series Masterlist

Summary: You never meant to fall in love with Rafe Cameron but now you can’t seem to pull yourself away despite the warnings. Even when he continuously breaks your heart. He wore red flags like garments of silk and hardened to a crown. 

Word count: 6.4K

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x pogue!reader ª JJ Maybank x pogue!reader

Warning(s): mentions of anxiety, cussing, slight angst? manipulation, Pope being a sweetheart, lmk if I missed anything pls!

a/n: SOOOOO I’ve never written for Rafe before so PLEASE be honest cuz he is super complex and I love him! But this is a series based off Billie Eilish’s new song Happier Than Ever and will be broken down into three or four parts I’m not sure! Also a special thanks to @pogueszn​ for helping me with this every step of the way! And as always enjoy and leave your feedback! 

__________

When I'm away from you I'm happier than ever Wish I could explain it better I wish it wasn't true

There is a funny thing about warnings. They are taken as a precautionary measure for your benefit and safety but never enforced. And ordinarily, things that should be out of reach are put on display at perfect arm's length. Those are the most dangerous. The ones most beautiful, enticing.

Rafe Cameron was the prime example of a walking temptation. He wore red flags like garments of silk and hardened to a crown.

And there was no need for an explanation as to why she came at sundown, car speeding in the dirt driveway while JJ was waxing his board. JJ came out to the sound of tires skidding, complaining about the dirt that picked up around like dust as he came waving a rag around. But he couldn't get a word in where he stood still, his brows pinching and the muscle in his cheek twitching in what she learned to be anger. Because the reason for her tears always narrowed down to one person. The person that made JJ's best friend, a girl undeserving of tears, cry.

And there was no need for an explanation as to why she came at sundown, car speeding in the dirt driveway while JJ was waxing his board. JJ came out to the sound of tires skidding, complaining about the dirt that picked up around like dust as he came waving a rag around. But he couldn't get a word in where he stood still, his brows pinching and the muscle in his cheek twitching in what she learned to be anger. Because the reason for her tears always narrowed down to one person. The person that made JJ's best friend, a girl undeserving of tears, cry.

JJ inhaled before taking a hesitant step toward her. But she didn't utter a word. Only stripped her gray blazer, letting it fall on the dirt as she plopped on the hammock, hand covering her face.

A few minutes later, she heard the heavy scraping on the grass. She lifted her head, eyebrows rising in question. JJ was dragging two boards out from the shed, pausing when he saw her sitting up. The sun behind her shadowed her reaction to his attempt to cheer her up. "Kie left a bathing suit here a few days ago. And Pope did the laundry so you can change into something of ours afterward."

A smile spread to her lips. JJ Maybank was truly Godsent. She was on her feet in seconds, bounding up the squeaking porch steps to put on the bathing suit. With Kie's orange bathing suit on, she opened her purse, fishing for her pill bottle. She dries swallowed one with a grimace and made for the door when she heard her phone ring. She stopped, her breathing almost caught in her throat. Her fist clenched, hating the part of her that wanted to reach out to Rafe. He was probably in his room now enraged because of a dinner lecture from Ward.

She should have called him earlier when she was held up at work. Maybe she could have avoided today's argument--

The honking from the twinkie outside pulled y/n from her stupor. She shakes her head at the intrusion of her thoughts, and her mood dampened slightly.

Y/n rolls her eyes when she comes out to see JJ standing outside the van, hand on the horn through the window as if he was daring to do it again if she didn't come any quicker. "Thank god," he groans dramatically, and she scrunches her nose playful, tossing him a beer before they get in the van.

With the day at its close, a couple of hours in the water was exactly what she needed. The waves were welcoming anytime her board glided over the water. Out of all the pogues, she was the worst at surfing. It took her a whole two months to even balance properly. Even now, JJ coached her.

"You're not shuffling your feet!"

"That's a tasty one! You better get that!"

"How did you fall! There wasn't even a wave yet!"

"Atta' girl! That's what I'm talkin' about!"

When they called it a night, they showered off the salt and sand, and here they were now, lying on the hammock, watching the sunset. Y/n damp hair splayed around her head like a halo, and she could feel the sensitivity of sunburn on her cheeks. The screeches of seagulls overhead engulfed her senses, along with the water hitting the docks and the trees rustling in the summer wind.

Though the serenity of being outside was calming, she knew a storm was brewing in JJ. He was holding back on his questions. The boy could spitball for hours on end and never run out of things to say. His silence was enough to know he wanted her to tell him what happened. Why she came in crying, head pounding as if she would explode from the inside out.

Bu now, her heart was steady after her dispute with Rafe. Her chest rose and fell slowly, trying its best to cage her raging heart. Once again, Rafe had embarrassed her to a point where his cooing 'I love yous' and hands-on her face couldn't soothe her anger. It happened in front of her coworkers. As if it could get any worse (which it had) this time, it was in front of her boss. The boss that would decide whether or not she was being promoted or not. As a kid from the Cut, she took pride in how far she'd come. She still attended school and had a part-time job at the bank for some extra kook cash. Then she and Pope began taking advanced classes meaning she left earlier and picked up more shifts.

The bank took a liking to her commitment and hard work. She was quickly a favorite among her coworkers. Of course, the kook snobs who looked down on her spread gossip about her like wildfire. But hearing she was Rafe's Cameron's girlfriend shut them up in an instant. It was a quiet blessing, one that crept into your hands and let you hold it close to your heart. A girl that grew up in the Cut was one of the best-paid employees at the bank, and as JJ would say, it was the fanciest kook bank he's ever seen. Her parents doted on her and always praised her for getting so far at such a young age. They couldn't be more proud, constantly rejecting her money when she offered to pay the phone bill and told her to buy something for herself.

She was just speaking to her boss in the sumptuous lobby when Rafe came tumbling in through the glass doors. His clothes were roughed up, and a large shiner colored his jaw. He was utterly stoned, grabbing her face and saying he has been calling her all morning. She had smelled the liquor on his tongue, and she gently pulled away. She laughed nervously as she kept flickering her eyes to her boss because surely they would be displeased with the interruption.

And then Rafe started getting loud, expressing his anger at Y/n for promising to meet with him for an early dinner with his family. Rafe used the money his father entrusted him with until he bought coke. Just another day in the Cameron residence. And he had hoped Y/n would be there at the diner to defuse his father's hostility for him. She always had a way of soothing people. Let it be the way she laughed, smiled so gleefully it looked almost effortless. She was favored among Kooks and Pogues since she was so eloquent and spoke pleasantly. Rafe found solace in her and the way she looked at him when he had a stressful day. Like she gave a damn about him. She listened to him, and that was all he needed.

But Y/n couldn't hold it in anymore, and she scolded him loudly like he was a child. After apologizing, she dragged Rafe out by his arm into the parking lot, having a yelling contest with her boyfriend, constantly talking over the other.

And that brings her to this moment, not hearing her phone ringing from where it sat on the couch in the confines of her blazer pocket. JJ had picked it up and placed it inside so it wouldn't get any dirtier than it already was. He knew how much it had cost her. JJ was the one to fall victim to actually going with her to the mainland to buy it. After trying on over a "gazillion," JJ found a favorite. And a shit-eating grin painted his lips when she modeled it with a smile for the rest of the pogues in the chateau, knowing full and well it was his favorite that she chose. They all teased her for going full Kook and spoke about how they all would move into her mansion when she became the new boss—spending every waking moment with the people she loved most made her heart leap. She imagined it when her brain allowed a moment of peace, making pancakes in a pristine kitchen with Sarah and Kie. Talk to Pope until three A.M. on the couch accompanied by hot chocolate cupped in their hands. Hold back tears of laughter with John B from just one of the hundreds of inside jokes they have and would never share with anyone else. And be in the presence of JJ Maybank.

As they are now, she wished it would go on forever. His hand on her skin, looking at her with a soft gaze when she finally looked up at him. With him was constant promised happiness, adventure, constant arguments, teasing, flirting, debates, hugs, shoving, and scolding. She doted on him when he knew he didn't deserve it. And when she did scold him, it was in the nicest way possible. He let her talk for hours about her day at work when she came back from a late shift. He would massage her feet on the couch as they watched a movie, making commentary more often so than actually watching the movie.

And it was no coincidence he was with her now at her lowest point. The rest of the pogues were out on the marsh, and JJ remembered Y/n saying she would meet them at the chateau after dinner with Rafe. When she never showed, he volunteered to stay behind to make sure she made it back alright.

Looking away from JJ's awaiting eyes to tell him what's going on, she sighed blissfully. "Today was a lot of fun."

A wind chime sung somewhere in John B's house. Y/n had gifted it to him for his birthday. "Of course it was. We always have fun. You're just too busy with your kook job to hang out with us anymore," he snipped with a teasing smirk. But the truth ran deep. They both knew that. JJ had to hold himself back for her sake. From digging in on her boyfriend, knowing he was the reason for her red-ringed eyes.

Y/n quirks a shoulder, smiling softly. "Yeah, well, my kook job scored us two packs of beer, be grateful," she shoots back, head lulling to the side to gesture to the drinks she bought on the way to the beach.

It's hard to lie to your best friend. Y/n showed all her emotions through her eyes, so faking it wasn't an option. Not with JJ. Her only way out was to deflect as much as possible.

"Yeah, yeah, I guess kook jobs are useful for some things," the two laughed, JJ sipping his lukewarm beer. Y/n stabbed her heel gently into his side, and he squirmed away, slapping her.

Y/n hadn't realized how much she was smiling, but JJ did. He always watched her intently without regard that he was actually doing it. He knew she never expressed her feelings due to worry that she was a burden. Alright, he wasn't one to talk about suppression, but Y/n did it way too often. Self-isolation was her default, and the pogues knew that now. They learned to be watchful of her and check up on her to make sure she was okay.

"It's nice to see you smiling. You haven't smiled as much since you started seeing him."

JJ let the words slip out before he could think and quickly regretted it. When she looked at him, her lips parted slightly, eyes nearly widening until she hid her reaction. She cleared her throat, pressing the rim of her beer bottle to her lips. It seemed the crickets had gotten louder, akin to her heart. She probably should have just left, knowing JJ would eventually have something to say. He always did.

JJ laid his head back with a quiet groan, his heavy hand still resting on her leg and his thumb grazing her knee. Y/n swallowed a gulp of beer, letting it sit in her mouth for a moment before swallowing. She cringed at the strong flavor before sitting up on her elbows. "Hey, you got your Juul on you?" she inquired, her voice strained as she leaned down to place her bottle on the ground.

"When do I not?" he says, lifting his hips to pull out what she asked for.

"When I need it the most."

JJ set her with a playful glare, Y/n sending it right back when he tossed it to her waiting hands. "Hardy har har. All yours, princess."

Y/n took a long drag before releasing it into the air. It seemed JJ borrowed new pods, the smell of strawberry fogging above her. She made a few shapes, JJ whistling as she almost choked. As the sun got lower, kissing the horizon, she hoped this would be a distraction enough for her to call it a night and avoid confrontation.

"Seriously, Y/n, I don't get what you see in him." he sighed, almost sounding like a scoff.

Y/n sat up slowly, fully aware that JJ's eyes were narrowed at her. "J, not now…" she murmured, setting the Jull on the hammock and carding her fingers through her hair.

"So you want me to ignore the fact that you came here crying? Ignore that he's the damn reason?" JJ's eyes were alight with something Y/n couldn't read, but she let her eyes stare with shame that she made him worry. And then she won't bother talking about it being the cherry on top.

"Can we not talk about this right now? I had a really nice time today, and I don't want you to ruin it."

Her choice of words was not wise, she realized. JJ scoffed, an incredulous smile touching his lips as he got to his feet and stood before her.

"You don't want me to ruin it? He's the reason you needed cheering up in the first place!"

His tone sank her heart. She knew her thoughts were wrong. Telling her she was a burden, and he only took her surfing because he felt obligated.

Y/n licked her lips, shaking her head. "Jesus J, for once, can you just respect my decision? For once!" she shouted, her raw throat full of pent-up frustration. "You have a different girl waltzing out of your room every other week, and you don't see me on your ass!"

"I'll respect your decision when it's not dating a fucking kook who has made our lives a living hell for years!" his face is contorted in anger, blue eyes blazing as he points to her then away as if referencing Rafe back in Figure Eight.

Y/n's eyes are locked on his, the pain in keeping eye contact making her eyes water. Why was he always right? And why wasn't she listening? She shakes her head, being done with the discussion. She's had her fill on yelling for one day.

"Whatever, JJ," she scoffs, standing from the hammock and striding to the chateau to gather her stuff.

She could hear JJ's heavy footfalls behind her. If he asked her to stay, she would--god, she knew she would.

"He's not good for you," he says, watching her swipe her bag and clothing from his bed.

I know that, she told herself.

Y/n wordlessly brushes past him, and JJ throws his hand slightly as he watches her grab her blazer and drop her phone into her bag. She kept her hair in her face, not letting him see the effect of his words. How they cut through trying to reveal how her heart was no longer in her chest. No longer her own but in the hands of Rafe Cameron.

She nearly makes it to her car when JJ speaks again.

"He's going to run you into the ground," he says slowly, each word digging in her chest just as he intended. She can hear the pain in his words. The worry he held for her anytime she left the chateau. "And if you know what's good for you, you'll leave while you still can."

She paused, the tears that streaked down her cheek evident through her ruined makeup. Her chest was heavy and hollow simultaneously, like when your eyes burned with tears, but nothing came out. You sit around and wait for something to happen, to show for what you're feeling. But you get nothing. You're left to sit in the limbo, no way to tell which way is left or right, up or down. You are alone.

_________

Give me a day or two to think of something clever To write myself a letter To tell me what to do.

Y/n didn't get a wink of sleep in. Her mind was muffled with JJ but dominated by Rafe when her phone chimed every couple of minutes. When it finally stopped, she figured he'd given up for now. But three hours of sleep didn't mean a damn thing when all she thought about was Rafe. Nights like these were when she was the most vulnerable. Her guard was down in hopes of finding some time for real rest, but her heart was open, and her mind was free to wander about that god-awful place where she was insignificant—less than nothing. People say you are your worst critic. Those words dug so profoundly they were embedded inside her eyelids even as she slept.

Being a Pogue was thrilling. It made her heart spike when she jumped off a cliff into a dark depth of frigid water when she was running in waist-high grass from the feds for stealing cheap wine with JJ. When they had laid flat on their back, breathing heavily under a colored sky signifying the day's end. They heard sirens pass by, and JJ was the first to laugh and holler, then Y/n followed. Then JJ propped himself on his elbow, looking down at her as if for the first time. She wasn't expecting him to lean down and plant a kiss on her lips. She had pushed him away, and that was the first time she'd seen anything but happiness on his face. It broke her in two when she told him, "I'm seeing someone." And boy did they give her hell when she revealed Rafe was the one she had been talking about and fawning over all the time.

But being a Pogue also meant if you were sad, well, you were sort of dampening the fun. What was the Pogue life if you were dealing with a crying friend? It was burdening, to say the least. And Y/n knew that. Sure they were there for her, but she saw it written all over their faces. They hated having to miss out on their plans. John B would let out a sigh he hid with a smile. Kie wore a tight-lipped smile as she would pat Y/n's shoulder in mock comfort. It seemed Pope was the only one who didn't mind missing a day of mischief to just stay in. And JJ? Well, he sometimes convinced Kie and John B to leave with him, and that hurt the most when they agreed. He would look over his shoulder and say, "Well, let me know when y'all are done," as if it were a chore to try and comfort his best friend. She deserved that after rejecting him in the field, she supposed.

She stopped letting people try to "fix" her. She fills the crack in her chest with a smile and an excuse. But the damage she had brought to herself was done. But Rafe filled those spaced with his words. His eyes. His promises. Filled it with lies. Lies that are so far from the truth but believable enough because that's exactly what she needed at the time. A love that was real enough to grasp onto. She didn't question the difference between love and convenience.

So she forced herself from her creaking bed and dressed for midsummers. When she heard they were to be paid 15 an hour, she signed up immediately. And Kook parties lasted as long as their glasses were constantly filled to the rim.

Y/n slipped on a black satin dress Kie let her borrow. It was pretty short, and it became instinct for her fingers to pinch the end and tug it down. She clipped a name tag to differentiate herself from Kook since people always told her she was too pretty for a Pogue. But her living was not high class enough for a Kook.

She pinned her hair into a low bun at every chance she had in the car, and her makeup looked halfway done by the time she turned into employee parking in the back. She was immediately met with Pope's open arms when she lazily fell into his embrace.

"I'm not sure how long I can keep the Kook act up," Y/n says, exchanging the iconic Pogue handshake with Pope.

"Really?" Pope chuckles, his hands adjusting his cufflinks, "You're like the most kookiest of us all."

Y/n swats his arm, shaking her head to hide her ever-growing smile. Pope was someone she could breathe around without the slightest judgment. He was the first to learn of her anxiety. It was as simple as too much fooling around at the Wreck, resulting in her bag spilling out its contents. When Pop saw her pill bottle rolling, his eyes skim the label without thought before it was snatched from his hands.

The rest of the Pogues found out eventually afterward, but Pope did research. He checked up on her when she laughed instead of chipping into conversations, how her social battery ran out during keggers. When she would itch her wrist till it bled, scabbed, then did it again. When she acted like she was tired so she could just go home and be alone. When JJ caught on, he asked Pope for advice, not wanting to overwhelm her, but Pope corrected him. He told him not to treat her any differently because that would make her feel like they're changing things for her when that is the last thing she wants. She just needed to be understood and listened to.

But Pope knew her the most, and he prided himself on that.

They entered the kitchen, filling glasses with champagne and placing them on trays to start guests off with something light. "It's been a while," Pope said, struggling to uncork a bottle, "what have you been doing?"

Y/n shrugged, flickering her eyes over to Pope before focusing on how much she poured in the glasses. "Work mostly. Trying to secure a job that pays decently instead of chump change I've been getting." She laughed softly, but it was forced. And Pope knew that.

"Your absence has definitely been affecting everyone -- JJ's mood has literally been the worst." Pope groaned, thinking back on JJ's attitude with them this morning.

Y/n clicked her tongue. "I really don't wanna talk about that right now."

Pope side-eyes her, grimacing. "Hit a nerve there?"

"Yes."

"And what about you and Cameron? How's that working?"

Glasses clinked against each other when y/n's hands spasmed at the mention of him. Luckily no one was in the expansive kitchen to witness her clumsiness. Her face reddened, but she smoothed out her dress when she gained the courage to face Pope, who only looked concerned. And she wasn't going to lie. "I wish I could say we're good. Fine even, but...uh no, we're not talking right now."

Pope leaned back on the island counter, eyes pestering her to continue. She breathed heavily through her nose, resting against the counter across from him, one hand crossing her middle while the other fumbled with a silver chain gifted from Rafe. They still had some time before people began flooding into the party.

"You know how I've been telling you guys about that promotion at that bank?" she asked.

"Mhm," Pope nodded.

"Well, while I was talking to my boss, Rafe conveniently decided to barge in and cause a scene--mind you, he's completely fucked up at this point! -- like pupils the size of golf balls, slurring every third word, fucked up-- And-and then he goes on about how I'm not there for him, how I'm using him for his money! He doesn't even see how hard I work, Pope. And then he thinks he has a right to embarrass me in front of my boss!"

Pope watches as her shoulder rises and falls with her belated breathing. She's never expressed herself so animatedly around others, but he was used to it at this point. She needed this more than she knew. He's seen her breaking point of anger. Of crying? Well, oddly enough, that was always JJ.

Pope waited a full minute before responding, shuffling his weight. "I know you're not looking for a lecture, so I won't give you one. At the end of it all, I just want you to be safe and take care of yourself y/n/n. To be happy. Just maybe talk to him--set boundaries. Cuz if there's one thing I know, you're the only one who can get in Rafe's head."

Y/n took his words and pondered as the night went on. She was sent out regularly to serve drinks and greet everyone with her kook smile that she's mastered to perfection for years. When they gave her a tray of tiny appetizers, she slipped two into her mouth, rolling her eyes in pleasure. She caught a glimpse of Kiara and Sarah a few times, passing each other knowing smiles or playful winks. John B looked like a Pogue playing dress-up. He constantly mused his hair and forced a too-wide smile. Y/n slap him back a few times, forcing him to fix his posture resulting in Sarah nearly snorting into her drink in front of her parents.

And where John B goes, JJ is never far. He would try grazing her elbow to talk, but she would swerve from his touch. She felt his eyes on her more often than once but didn't fall into her feelings. They were always deceiving her otherwise, and now she couldn't tell the difference. Part of her wanted to run to him and tell him he was right for once. Every word. But she looked away, back straight in determination to not fall victim to those blue eyes.

But Pope made her time in midsummers worthwhile. Despite being a server, they could relish in the same fairy lights, the smell of the sea at night, mouth-watering hors-d'oeuvres, and wine. And Y/n's weakness would always be wine. Red. White. Strong. Bitter. Light. Sweet. She could finish it within thirty to thirty-five minutes. Quite literally, actually. JJ timed her once.

Pope's eyes did a once over any eyes in their general direction before he covertly sipped a glass of wine. Once he was sure he was in the clear, he lowered the glass to his hip than behind his back. He had to nudge Y/n a few times from where she was crouched behind him before she grabbed the wine greedily. She sipped it once, and she moaned around the beverage, the corner of her mouth lifted in delight. "Mother of--I love you so much." she cooed, already taking a few more sips.

"Love you too--"

"Not you."

Pope slapped her arm, making her nearly spill the red wine on her dress. She reacted swiftly, swapping his butt lightly, making him yelp and jerk forward. Y/n threw her head back to let the last drop of wine glide down her throat before rolling the glass under the table and covering it with the table cloth.

"I really can't wait for Mrs. Grendoll to stab through someone's foot with those heels," Y/n laughed, dizziness overcoming her head when she stood straight next to Pope. She tugged her dress down, looking around to make sure no one saw underwear.

"Then maybe they'll close it, and we can go home," Pope says, after washing his hands and wiping them on a cloth. They were now in charge of a station outside, and y/n had no shame in popping a few shrimp into her mouth before Pope could properly assort them on the tray.

"Are you kidding? Someone could legit get murdered on the dance floor, and they'd continue to act like nothing happened."

Pope tilted his head, giving her that one. His eyes flickered up from his concentration on the shrimp, a grin brightening his face. "Where do you think Rose got her outfit inspo from?"

Pope nodded in Rose's direction, laughing politely behind her glass on the porch. A golden sun-shaped headband sat atop her head, making her the summit of the party. "Virgin Mary statue? My grandma's got one in her house. Ya' know with the sun behind her head…." Y/n wiggles her fingers behind her head to mimic sunbeams.

Pope chuckled lightly, shaking his head. "I was thinking more like the sun from Raisin Bran Cereal--" Pope couldn't get through the joke fast enough, Y/n and himself laughing so hard it came out silent.

Y/n spotted another dress and rolled her eyes, not believing that people could possibly walk out like this. She slapped Pope's chest, only able to point discreetly considering she was still laughing, padding her fingers under her tear full eyes. "That has to be the ugliest dress I've ever seen in my life," Pope groaned, resuming his appetizer masterpiece. "Why did they let her walk out like that? It's child abuse."

"Okay, I won't argue with you about that but look at that suit? What color is that?"

Pope shrugs, "Maybe it's a new one."

After a plethora of comments on outfits and poor choices for Kooks, Y/n finally excused herself after consuming yet another glass of wine. She kept her head low as she swerved through the crowd and padded up the wooden steps into the country club. Her heels dug into her skin, the red pleather already chipping off with every step. She stumbled slightly in the bathroom, gripping the wall before she could slip into the toilet. She fixed her mused hair and took advantage of the deodorant and mini hand soaps she stashed into her purse. The walk back was not so simple. She had forgotten whether she took a left or right, and every hall looked the damn same, and the music was flowing through every wall, not letting her grasp a sense of direction for guidance. So she roamed aimlessly, already preparing an apology for Pope after being gone so long.

Then she took a sharp right, unable to foresee a tall man in front of her. She yelped softly, sidestepping around them before any collision. She opened her mouth to apologize but then the words caught in her throat. Her body stiffened at the sight of Rafe. He almost looked as surprised to see her as she was. But she knew she should have seen this. At least have been prepared to talk to him. Confront the situation that has been at the forefront of her mind since yesterday. Her heart was hitting her chest so hard it ached.

His voice low, almost sore, he asked if they could speak somewhere private, sullen eyes refusing to meet her own. She could read the language of the eyes just as well. She nodded meekly and followed his tall figure into an empty ballroom. It smelled of lavender, and the ghostly chill swept up her dress. The clicking of her heels echoed off the tall floor-to-ceiling windows that covered a vast majority of one of the walls. The sound of the heavy doors vibrated the floor, sounds ceasing to exist. Anything apart from their reality slipping away into thin air. When like this, nothing could pop the bubble they called their own—uninterrupted, untouched by anyone but them. The dim room was only lit by the fairy lights outside, far from the party. But it didn't stop from illuminating Rafe's face. She could see him properly now, and it was like looking through a mirror.

His blue suit fitted his body perfectly. His hair must have been gelled back but now lay over his head, tickling his eyelashes. A wave of heat came over her when a flash of recollection passed in her mind from when they shared butterfly kisses in bed to see who would break into a fit of giggles first. It was her, of course, and Rafe trailed kisses to her neck, fingers pressing into her stomach, making her squirm away from the tickle attack.

The Rafe before her was an empty shell. Hollow. Void of genuine understanding. She could peel him apart, and there would be a terrified little boy just waiting for someone to hold him. Y/n believes she's met that version of him before. When she first fell in love with him. But of course, that was someone else.

Y/n stood before one large window, her fingernails chipping at the wood. She could only hear Rafe's pacing and breathing until he cleared his throat with a sniffle,

"Listen, I just want you to know--"

"That was my boss Rafe," Y/n said lowly, keeping her voice from wobbling with broken emotion. His eyes burned into her side, begging her to let him in. To just let him kiss her and that be enough to mend a broken relationship. It was crumbling in his hands, and he was holding into it like a lifeline.

"Baby, I didn't know."

"The boss that's supposed to promote me and --and you just walking in like that fucked up my chances! Do you understand that?" Y/n whipped around to face him, her eyes glossing with unshed tears. He could see the way her jaw clenched to keep from wobbling. How much she wanted to break. Y/n wanted to scream if she was honest. Just fuck it all and leave him.

"Yes, Yes. Y/n, and I swear I'm not gonna be like that anymore." Rafe's strained voice made her let out a soft huff.

"Yeah, you've said that before, so I'm a little less liable to believe that."

Rafe winces, bringing a closed fist to his lips as he looks to the ground. "Seriously, I know that...how I acted was out of line, especially when you were working. I was just so frustrated."

"With me?" her voices cracked feebly, hands gesturing to herself.

"With everyone... I'm just so frustrated all the time, and I don't know how to fix it. But I'm going to." His words are like a promise. She lets out a quiet sigh, trying to look away as she feels the unwanted tears burning behind her eyes. Nausea overcomes her, and she feels the room closing in quickly. Then Rafe's warm hands slide up to cup the nape of her neck and lift her head with his thumb below her chin. His eyes search her intently, with purpose in hopes of finding the love she has for him. Have her grasp onto that reason alone to give him another chance. "For you. Because I don't want to lose you."

Rafe shook his head and leaned his forehead against hers, breathing her in. She feels guilty when she does the same. Her heart steadies. Rafe was familiarity. He was comfort and solace in a place where she neglected herself. He was where she felt the safest. The most loved. "You are like, the only fuckin' thing that's keeping me from going off the deep end. And I know that if I have you by my side, I can get better." he continued in a rasping tone, tears bubbling in his throat just as it was with hers. His thumb caressed her damp cheek, and she nearly cried at his affection.

"Rafe…" she breathed shakily, hands lifting up to pull him away, but his hand shoots out to grab her wrist gently while the other stays on her cheek.

"I know I've done some fucked up things, and I know that you're upset, but... we're forever... that's what we said, right?"

She feels herself sinking. Back into him the way she always did. The way she let herself be entrapped in his words. "Yeah, but--"

"We can work through it. I know that we can, we can do anything we put our minds to. That's what you told me, remember?" She knew he was aware that he had her already. Had her answer, and she could see him smiling slightly like a broken boy learning to self-soothe. She shut her eyes for a moment, taking in shallow breaths before she let herself lean into his hand. Rafe let out a breathy laugh, resting his head on hers once again. He gave her a small kiss, knowing she was still upset but forgiven.

"I'm gonna get better, and we're gonna be fine. I'm not gonna make you sad anymore," he whispered.

Suddenly, the music was heard again, and her eyes perked up to his. It was then she realized they were only in their own world when Rafe had all her focus. But she let herself lean up and placed her lips against his in forgiveness. He kissed her back with hunger, having been deprived of her for far too long.

And there they stayed for the rest of the night, slow dancing in the dark. His arms secured around her waist, the other holding her hand firmly. She leaned her head against his shoulder, kissing the bare skin of his neck before closing her eyes, letting herself succumb to her weakness like an old friend.

___________

Taglist: 

[acaplaya-musings]

Voiceplay Visuals: Panic! In Four Minutes - parts 1 and 2

Oh boy oh boy we're getting into the really fun stuff now!

I used to be a fan of Panic! At The Disco (well I still like the music, I just don't like the lead singer anymore), and Voiceplay freaking killed it with this arrangement! But I'm not here to talk about acapella stuff, I'm here to talk about the video/s, which is just as super awesome! (I don't know why it was split into 2 parts, but I guess it works)

We're given a very quick trio of shots to start us off, giving us a bit of immediate story and context

Also, sort of an audio-visual thing, but the way that the music element starts with some of the guys "yelling" after Earl gets duct tape ripped off his mouth is very funny to me

The guys being positioned in a circle, facing outwards like so, is an interesting creative choice, but a little bit frustrating right now because it means I can't get any full group shots of them!

Cool outfit Layne!

Just wanted to grab screencaps of everyone's outfits for later reference

(Also the kidnappers didn't even bother stealing Geoff's smartwatch then? 😂)

Man Geoff looks so goddamn pretty in this video. I don't know what he or someone else did to his hair for this one but it seems to have just a bit more of a curl/waviness to it and I love it (also the half-open button up shirt with the popped collar really adds to the look as well 👀)

Also one of the better videos for noticing Geoff's eye colour is hazel (sort of green-brown), not just dark brown like how his eyes usually appear

I'm guessing the key thing was inspired by the music video for Say Amen (Saturday Night)?

Right, onto part 2! Part 1 was uploaded on the 14th of July, 2018, and part 2 was uploaded a week later, on the 21st (damn, way to keep your fans hanging, Voiceplay!)

Earl: hang on where are you going? And how did you even get free?

Obligatory acknowledgement of Layne's little heavy-breathing moment, which is either angry, panicky, or a mix of both, and has definitely found its way into a couple of fanfics.

Geoff (and his very bouncy hair) to the rescue! Sort of. (The way Geoff throws the key and completely misses, and Earl's mouthing of "what the-?" always makes me laugh 😂)

The drama! The suspense! The way Layne and Eli are bracing as if preparing for worst-case-scenario!

And as all Voiceplay fans know, VP made a prequel video to this, in the form of a Billie Eilish Medley! That won't be the next post after this one, but I'm gonna go type it up now while this video is still fresh in my mind, and I'll just stick it in drafts for the time being.

[recentanimenews]

INTERVIEW: JUJUTSU KAISEN's Music Staff on Billie Eilish’s Influence on the Soundtrack and More

  Did the JUJUTSU KAISEN finale feel like a full-body experience to you? There's still one thing I can't get out of my head: the soundtrack. Last month, I got the opportunity to interview four members of JUJUTSU KAISEN's music staff about their experiences working on the series. Below, Music Producer Yoshiki Kobayashi and composers Hiroaki Tsutsumi, Yoshimasa Terui, and Alisa Okehazama share their creative processes, musical influences, favorite scenes, and more. If you're a fan of JUJUTSU KAISEN, you definitely don't want to miss out on this!

    This was a rare case where three different composers were in charge of the background music, but could you tell us a bit about how that happened? How did you three go about producing the soundtrack?

  Kobayashi: When we had our meeting with Gege Akutami-sensei, he suggested we go with a stylish, Billie Eilish direction. Then director Sung Hoo Park added on that he wanted some hip hop and rock, so I entrusted the work to Tsutsumi-san, Terui-san, and Okehazama-san, who I knew could create unique songs that fit the anime.

  Tsutsumi-san is great with rock. He also has extensive experience with additional background music, so I figured Tsutsumi-san would be the center of the team this time. For a while now I’ve thought that Terui-san’s distinctive rhythms, melodies, and riffs are very unique and so is the way he creates them. He’s great with stylish songs. Then Okehazama-san knows how to work a synthesizer well, and her melodies are extremely pretty, so I asked her to join thinking she’d be perfect for the emotional tracks.

  There were some co-written songs, but most were composed separately by one of those three. I always made sure everyone could listen to each other’s demos, so we could share the same direction for the show’s music and make sure we didn’t lose track of it.

    Tsutsumi: The songs were divvied up between the three of us based on the characters, tone, and music requested.

  A few songs were assigned when the composer raised their hand for it, but Kobayashi-san, the music producer, had the final say on the division, and we each broadened our imagination as we made our demos.

  We all received inspiration from each other as we worked on the composition.

  Terui: I heard that both the original author, Akutami-sensei, and director Park had a strong focus on the music and they also wanted to use a broad range of genres for the background music, so producer Kobayashi reached out to three of us to realize those requests.

  We decided who would be in charge of producing each song during our meetings with Kobayashi-san, and then we basically each worked on our own.

  I wasn’t in charge of the theme music this time, but I was able to produce a few songs that I co-wrote with Tsutsumi-san and Okehazama-san.

    JUJUTSU KAISEN is a unique title with cursed spirits and jujutsu sorcerers. How did it feel to work on a show that would let you thematically address “dark fantasy” in a soundtrack?

  Kobayashi: It’s set in Tokyo, and the addition of curses makes it seem more Japanese, but since I had worked with director Park before on The God of High School, I felt that it needed more of a western music feel than a Japanese dark fantasy feel. I felt like I had to respond to the stylishness of the footage that the director sought, and not let ourselves get dragged down trying to make it more Japanese.

  Tsutsumi: Rock-style songs are my roots, and I felt like the setting matched the hard musical expression of that well, so it was very rewarding.

  Terui: Many of the projects I’ve been involved with so far have basically been more about looking at the darker side of things than going in an open, positive direction, so I was looking forward to seeing how I could bring out my experience in new ways with this soundtrack.

  Okehazama: This was my first time creating music for a dark fantasy, so I was a little anxious, but I was much more excited about it.

    What kind of research did you do when you were assigned to the soundtrack? If you did any work to deepen your understanding of the title, we’d love to hear about it. If you were reading the original manga before working on the soundtrack, then what kind of inspiration did you take from the source material while composing the music?

  Kobayashi: I’ve read every chapter in Shonen Jump since it first started running. It was my job to further my understanding of the title and convey that to the composers, so I participated in the scenario meetings so I could soak in what the director was thinking about, what the themes of each episode were meant to be, and what points they were debating over. Thanks to that I was able to pick on some minor details and proposed adding one more song at the very last minute to the director.

  Tsutsumi: I had known about the title before, but the first time I really read through it was after I was assigned to the music. I organized the content of the title in my own way and laid out my own notes on how to convert that to musical expression before our first music meeting.

    Terui: Reading through the original goes without saying, but I also researched what kind of music Akutami-sensei likes and I watched director Park’s past works.

  "This is right at the heart of the current shonen manga," was the impression I got from the original. I love manga myself, and I found some inspiration in the homages to various other manga scattered throughout.

  Okehazama: I began reading the original title after I was chosen to work on the music. I received inspiration from the story and the characters of course, but I also settled on the tone of the music based on the touches in the manga’s artwork.

    Itadori watches lots of movies to hone his skill with cursed energy, but were there any movie soundtracks or composers the music team drew inspiration from?

  Kobayashi: It was only partial influence, but I imagined the songs coming in cool like they do in Spawn and Black Panther.

  Tsutsumi: A TOHO Producer, Matsutani-san, had introduced me to the soundtrack for a movie called Us released in 2019, and I was inspired by its approach to sound.

  Terui: This was my first experience with background music, so it wasn’t so much a specific movie’s soundtrack, but I listened to a broad variety of music from movies with a similar direction to broaden my perspective. Outside of soundtracks, I also felt that something which bridged the abstract hip hop of shing02 and DJ shadow with the more recent trap hip hop style would get people hooked, so I referenced those (though ultimately the songs I ended up in charge of were mostly in a rock-style).

  Okehazama: I didn’t use a particular title as reference, but I did proactively listen to hip hop and EDM music to gain a variety of ideas.

    In Episode 2, there's a scene with Gojo and Itadori at a cremation center with a traditional flute and quiet electric guitar as background music. Not only was it an entirely anime-original scene, but it also shows a ritual that is not commonly portrayed in Japanese media. How did you work with the staff to create the sound to this scene, and what considerations did you take in showing the ritual of kotsuage (a traditional Japanese funeral cremation)?

  Tsutsumi: I performed a song with the harmonics of a kantele (a string instrument from Finland) as the main motif in order to express Itadori’s maudlin state of emotion. I felt that the transparent, empty, and dignified air of that tone would support such a quiet scene without intruding on it.

  We actually used a low whistle for the flute tones. When producing the music for JUJUTSU KAISEN we never recorded any Japanese instruments since the concept was to express that Japanese style with Western Instruments.

  I used the electric guitar to express his inner strength and his resolve for the future that goes with his sadness. (I actually didn’t make this song specifically for the kotsuage scene, but I do believe it fit the mood of the scene and expressed Itadori’s emotions.)

    The artist Che Lingo helped provide the lyrics for the fight between Todo and Fushiguro in episode eight. Can you talk about how you found Che Lingo to help write the lyrics for the song and how it was written for the scene?

  Kobayashi: Director Park put in an order requesting a rap, so I was introduced to him by Youki Yamamoto-san who I had worked with on Dr. STONE before and who was currently in London. When I heard his rap I thought it was cool and knew I wanted to ask him for it.

  I told him the general tone of the music (and the details of the scene) beforehand, so Che came to the recording with a general idea in mind. We couldn’t go to London where he was recording due to the pandemic, so I decided to direct it online.

  Tsutsumi: We were introduced to him by a composer living in England, Youki Yamamoto-san. We used the internet to connect London and Japan in order to do the recording. Each composer told Che Lingo where we would be inserting the rap, and what theme we wanted from the lyrics, and then we composed the lyrics and recorded the rap all on the same day as the recording.

    When Gojo fights Jogo in episode seven, we’re treated to heavy rock music. Later in the episode, after Itadori and Gojo enter Jogo’s domain expansion, we still hear cool rock music even though there isn’t as much fighting happening. Do you feel unifying the music to a genre like that throughout an episode is an effective way to convey a message to viewers?

  Kobayashi: We don’t actually worry about unifying the genre of music in an episode. The reason for that is because there are developments within each episode, and I believe using the music that fits each development is how you should maintain the overall balance of the episode. It just so happened to work out that way in episode seven, but for example, I don’t think it would have been strange for the song for Hollow Purple from episode twenty to kick in with Gojo. Then it would have shifted from rock to EDM. Either way, it would have helped leave that impression of Gojo’s overwhelming strength, so I think following the nature of the show rather than a genre of music helps leads to better unification.

  Tsutsumi: Episode seven was the episode that impressed Gojo’s overwhelming strength upon us. I felt the music was effective in emphasizing that strength.

    The music that plays when Todo questions each character changes between heavy-metal (during Fushiguro and Todo’s fight), house (when Itadori meets Todo), and even easy-going acoustic guitars (during Todo’s nostalgic high school scene). I found this musical storytelling in Todo’s scenes really charming. What kinds of things do you pay particular attention to in order to convey a character’s personality?

  Kobayashi: On my end, I made sure each character was assigned to a specific composer. For example, Itadori and Todo were both assigned to Tsutsumi-san. Nanami and Fushiguro were assigned to Terui-san, while Kugisaki and Gojo were assigned to Okehazama-san, and they each composed for their characters. Because of that, we produced music that drew out their personalities and naturally ended up with a mix of genres.

  Tsutsumi: I really cherish the sense and feel that I get when I first picture that character, such as the tempo or the sound of an instrument that springs naturally to me.

  For example, when I pictured Todo, the first thing that came to mind was a chorus like a war cry, and taiko or other drum beats, and I felt that mid-tempo matched his unabashed nature, so those were the hints I worked from.

  Terui: I feel like I get a lot of hints about the sound I should produce not just from the character’s appearance, but also as I consider their backbone and ideology. Once I’ve listed out as many words that come to mind, I then use my creativity to turn that into sound.

    One of the most provocative story arcs is Itadori’s dealings with Mahito and Junpei Yoshino. At the end of episode thirteen, there's a really moving insert song titled “Stand in the Darkness” playing as Itadori monologues about “never losing again.” Was there anything specific about that storyline, or about JUJUTSU KAISEN in general, that inspired this song?

  Kobayashi: The director put in a strong request here. It was the end of the first cour too, so he wanted the end of the cour to feel like a final episode and he told us he wanted to add in a song with male vocals. The order he gave us was for a ballad, so I really agonized over that, but I think we produced a wonderful song thanks to Steve Memmlo’s participation.

  In the actual anime, the vocals only play for a short thirty seconds. For the first half, we used the instrumentals without the vocals, but that’s because Tsutsumi-san and I discussed it and proposed to the director that we make the first half instrumental-only since Itadori’s emotions haven’t reached that point yet in the first half.

  On the soundtrack, you’ll be able to listen to the version with the full vocals that we recorded.

    How have you felt regarding JUJUTSU KAISEN’s reception post-debut? Do you think fans are digging the mix of music genres represented?

  Kobayashi: Everyone’s had their own unique interpretation, and frankly I feel that’s a job well done. Being able to enjoy your own interpretation of it means there’s more chances for people to enjoy it than a fixed impression would provide. It’s not a negative thing for people who grew up in different environments listening to different music to have different interpretations. I think such diversity is really great.

  Tsutsumi: The charm of the original is spreading to so many more people through the anime, and I hope they’re enjoying it from the bottom of their hearts. I do think JUJUTSU KAISEN offers a very unique soundtrack. Even though we held true to the fundamentals of expressing emotions, we all worked together looking for new ways to combine instruments and express things as we created the songs, so I hope people can pick up on that foundational power.

    Terui: I think even more people are enjoying the show thanks to the synergy of the original work’s undamaged appeal and the appealing elements of animation like the motion and the performance of all the voice actors.

  I’d be delighted if the music is also adding to that.

  As for the mix of genres, honestly while part of me thinks some people might hesitate at that, I’m convinced this active approach produced wonderful results.

  Okehazama: When I was creating the music I was very worried about whether people would enjoy it. However, after the reactions to the music from so many people through social media after it started airing, all of it positive, I think fans have come to love it too.

  I’m very grateful to all the fans who sent me messages.

    Having come this far since episode one, are there any personal favorite episodes or scenes you have worked on?

  Kobayashi: Episode 16, Panda vs. Mechamaru. Che Lingo’s rap is just cool, and the story’s great, and I loved that episode in the manga too.

  Tsutsumi: Gojo and Jogo’s battle in Episode 7. After Gojo proves he’s the strongest in JUJUTSU KAISEN, it makes it very easy for viewers to understand the setting and the power balance between the characters of episodes before and after, so I think that’s a key scene.

    Terui: I have several scenes I love, but what comes to mind right now is the scene where Hanami awakens to the joy of battle in episode nineteen.

  The animation there is incredibly beautiful, and the music was used wonderfully. I felt my mind getting hooked on MiMi-san’s performance with the hammered dulcimer (a percussion-stringed instrument) in that scene.

  Okehazama: There are lots of scenes I loved, but I really loved "Jujutsu Koshien" in episode twenty-one. It’s one of my favorite scenes where we get to see the main characters act like high schoolers, which we hardly see on their typical missions.

  There were also new additions original to the anime, and I found myself laughing.

    Anything else you would like to say to worldwide fans of JUJUTSU KAISEN?

  Kobayashi: I take pride in my role here. I know there are lots of JUJUTSU KAISEN fans throughout the world, there’s only so much I can do, but I hope my ideas and efforts have helped boost the title and make it even more enjoyable.

  Tsutsumi: I may be one of the staff members producing JUJUTSU KAISEN, but as an honest fan as well, I love this title and I always want to make it something wonderful. Let’s all share our excitement for JUJUTSU KAISEN!

  Terui: I know it’s hard to encounter new things here when Japan is an island nation that doesn’t speak English, but Japan is filled with amazing anime, comics, music, and underground scenes in addition to big titles like JUJUTSU KAISEN, so if you got hooked on this, then I hope you’ll keep going and sample other works as well. You might encounter something wonderful.

  Okehazama: To everyone watching JUJUTSU KAISEN, thank you very much. I’m very happy to have people watching worldwide in addition to Japan. JUJUTSU KAISEN has many serious scenes, but the characters are cool and appealing, and the wild action of the battles is impressive to watch. I hope you enjoy watching it all the way to the end.

    Did the JUJUTSU KAISEN finale rock your soul? Did it make your heart drop like a base? Let us know in the comments below!

  Special thanks to Kobayashi, Tsutsumi, Terui, and Okehazama for their time and the JUJUTSU KAISEN team for their amazing work.

      Blake P. is a weekly columnist for Crunchyroll Features. His twitter is @_dispossessed. His bylines include Fanbyte, VRV, Unwinnable, and more. He would like to see Mahito do the worm.

  Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: Blake Planty