#and then depending on your role you have to pay to take part

[astrcmoni]

ᯓ☆ star’s midnight caller ☆ᯓ

MASTERLIST

pairing: billie eilish x sex-hotline-operator!fem!reader

genre: fluff, smut(kinda)

synopsis: in the quiet of the night, you answer a call that pulls you into a world of mystery and intrigue. what starts as a simple conversation with a stranger turns into a connection you never expected, leaving you craving more with each ring.

wc: 2.4k

warnings: light cussing here and there

authors note: let me know what you guys think, i really liked writing this and i want to make a part two. also there’s no smut in this part but the concept of the hotline is sexual (idk if that made sense) anyways imma stop rambling byeee ☆

phone call style story — reader is in bold italics, billie is in blue italics.

————

wednesday 12:43 am — incoming call from +1 (980) 598-7201 (charlotte, NC)

“thanks so much, babygirl,” richard says from the other side of the phone, his voice soft, tinged with something like gratitude. “you always know what i need.”

richard is one of your regulars, calling at least twice a week. he likes to imagine that you’re his long-lost girlfriend, reaching out from some parallel universe. you let him ramble, your voice smooth and coaxing, playing into his fantasy like a script you know by heart. a light laugh here, a soft hum there, the occasional breathy moan when it fits the moment.

“anytime, boo,” you reply, fingers already grazing the disconnect button. “take care of yourself, okay?”

the line clicks off, leaving a brief silence that feels heavier than it should. you exhale, stretching your arms above your head as you try to shake off the remnants of his voice. just another call. just another night.

soft light spills through the corners of your room, golden and warm against the pale lavender of your walls. the curtains billow lazily, carried by a breeze that whispers through the cracked window. outside, the city hums—a distant siren wailing, cars rolling down the street below, someone leaning on their horn too long, too loud.

at your desk, you lean forward, catching your reflection in the mirror perched precariously against a stack of books. sticky lip gloss catches the lamplight, glinting like glass. your lashes look decent—lifted enough to remind you of your own femininity. normally, you wouldn’t bother. no one can see you, after all. but it helps, this small ritual. it’s armor in a way, a mask you slip behind before stepping into this role.

“alright,” you mutter, rolling your neck to release the tension settling in your shoulders. “one more call and i’m done.”

the surface beneath your elbows is cluttered—textbooks splayed open, scribbled lab reports fighting for space with overdue bills. it’s not glamorous, but it pays. and it’s enough, for now.

you adjust your headset, letting the padded cups press comfortably against your ears, and clear your throat. the practiced warmth creeps back into your voice as the phone chimes again, flashing another number across the screen.

wednesday 12:49 am — incoming call from +1 (213) 597-3492 (los angeles, california)

“hello, and thank you for calling the pulse network. this is star speaking.” your voice drops an octave, soft and inviting, the words sliding out like honey. “who do i have the pleasure of speaking with tonight?”

there’s a pause on the other end—static filling the silence like a breath held too long. then, a voice cuts through, low, smooth, and distinctly feminine.

“uh…hi?” she sounds hesitant, her voice fraying at the edges like she’s second-guessing herself. “is this…is this a-uh…hotline for…you know?”

your brows knit for a moment before relaxing. most callers know exactly what they want, their voices heavy with intent. but her hesitation feels different. delicate, almost.

“that depends,” you say, leaning forward slightly, your tone light and playful. “what are you looking for, my love?”

she exhales sharply, and you can hear the faint sound of movement—like she’s pacing, the rhythm of her footsteps soft and uneven.

“honestly?” she says after a beat, her voice quieter now. “i don’t even know why i called. jus’ bored, i guess. curious. didn’t think this would even work.”

a smile tugs at your lips, though you bite it back. calls like these are rare, but you don’t mind them. there’s something refreshing about the uncertainty, the lack of pretense.

“well,” you murmur, letting your voice wrap around the words like a velvet ribbon, “we’re here now. go ahead, tell me whatever’s on your mind. no pressure.”

there’s a pause, long enough that you glance at the timer on the screen, wondering if she’s about to hang up. but then she sighs again, the sound softer this time, like she’s giving in.

“is it weird that i’m calling?” she asks, her voice dipping into the quiet like it’s unsure of its place.

“no judgment here, love. everyone has their reasons.” your response is soft, easy, laced with practiced charm. but something about her feels different.

“i don’t even know mine.”

the line falls into silence again, thick and heavy, broken only by the sound of her breathing—steady, almost meditative. it’s the kind of silence that feels like it’s waiting for you to fill it, but instead, you let it linger, listening.

“what’s your name?”

you blink, caught off guard. most callers don’t ask that unless it’s part of the fantasy they’re crafting. most don’t care to know.

“well, what do you want it to be?” you counter, your voice tipping into something playful.

she laughs softly, the sound low and throaty, curling through the line like smoke. “no, that’s not what i asked. i wanna know your name.”

there’s a pause as you weigh her words, the sincerity behind them.

“star,” you say finally, keeping it professional, your tone steady. “you can call me star.”

“what’s your real name?”

her question lands heavier than it should. it’s not forceful, not even intrusive. just curious. like she’s asking for a story rather than a fact.

you hesitate, fingers tracing the edge of your desk absentmindedly. something about her voice makes you want to give in, but you push the temptation aside, slipping easily into deflection.

“you know, most people don’t ask me that,” you murmur. “they usually want to know what i look like, what i’m wearing. things like that.”

“guess i’m not most people, then.”

“come on, you’re telling me you’re not even a little curious?”

she chuckles, warm and low, the kind of laugh that sticks in your chest. “okay, i’ll bite. what are you wearing, star?”

you smirk, leaning back in your chair as the city hums faintly through the open window.

“blue and black pajamas” you reply, your tone light. “lace trim. very cute, if i do say so myself.”

“where’d you get it?”

“some victoria’s secret around my city. they were having a sale.”

“cute.” her voice dips, carrying a hint of a smile. “now, back to my question.”

you roll your eyes, though there’s no edge to it. she’s persistent, you’ll give her that.

“you’re just gonna have to call me star. can’t give you my name. not tonight, sorry sweetheart.”

“no, it’s okay.” she pauses, then repeats it, like she’s trying it on. “well, star.” there’s something deliberate about the way she says it, slow and careful, testing its weight. “i’m billie.”

her name sits soft and sure in the air, settling between you like it belongs.

“you seem like a billie.”

“do i?”

“mhm,” you hum, leaning forward against the desk. “so, billie. what do you want to talk about?”

“hmm.” she draws the sound out thoughtfully, the silence stretching just long enough to make you wonder if she’ll answer. “why do you do this?”

the question hits you in a way you don’t expect, cutting through the usual rhythm of calls. most people don’t ask—don’t even think to ask.

you consider lying, giving her something easy, but the weight of her question lingers, tugging at the edges of your honesty.

“it pays the bills,” you admit finally, your voice soft. “and it’s not as bad as people think. i meet some…very…interesting people.”

“like me?”

the corner of your mouth quirks up, her words pulling at something playful in you.

“you tell me. are you interesting?”

“guess that depends.” she pauses, her voice curling with quiet amusement. “you think i’m interesting so far?”

“so far? i’ll give you a solid maybe.”

her laughter spills through the line, warm and unexpected, and it lingers in your room long after it fades.

“oh really? how long have you been doing this?”

“for about…” you pause, eyes flicking up to the ceiling like the answer might be scrawled there. “for about a little over a year now.”

“damn. that’s a long ass time.”

you chuckle, the sound warm and easy. “it is, isn’t it? i don’t know, i don’t mind it though. all i do is answer the phone. sometimes i do schoolwork, cook—small things like that. not like i necessarily have to be fully present for it, as long as i’m paying attention, you know?”

“you’re in school? just exactly how old are you?”

“wait—before we continue, you’re aware it’s a dollar seventy-five per minute, right?”

“uhh, i wasn’t, but i don’t mind it.”

“ooh, so you’re rich then?”

she laughs, a low, honeyed sound that settles in your chest. “i wouldn’t say that. i’d say i’m… comfortable.”

“only rich people say they’re comfortable. but to answer your question, i’m twenty, in my junior year. babe, you?”

“okay, not bad. i’m twenty-three. though i did think you were much older.”

you snort, rolling your eyes even though she can’t see it. “not bad? we’re practically the same age.”

“mm, i got about three years on you, so… no,” she laughs, her voice carrying a teasing lilt. “what are you majoring in?”

“criminology. mainly forensics and things like that.”

“that’s so fucking cool. so you’re like those people on tv who examine bodies and shit?”

“yeah, but doing it in real life is way different than it looks on tv.” you close your eyes, the memory of your first dissection flashing briefly. “especially lab work. but you get used to it after a while.”

“still, that’s badass. you must be super smart.”

the compliment catches you off guard, heat crawling up your neck. “i guess you could say that,” you mutter, a quiet smile tugging at your lips.

the conversation flows easier after that, like water finding its way downhill. you don’t even realize when you’ve moved to your bed, your headset cast aside as her voice fills your room through the speaker.

she asks you everything—your favorite movies, the hobbies that keep you up at night, the kind of music that makes your soul hum. the questions are simple but intimate, slipping past your usual defenses like she’s known you for years.

and you answer her. honestly, without hesitation. there’s something about her voice, warm and unhurried, that pulls the truth out of you.

you find yourself smiling, more than you have in days, fingers absentmindedly playing with your hair as you lean into the sound of her. it feels oddly intimate—like a late-night call with someone who’s already carved out a space in your life.

“so,” she asks after a lull, her voice soft but curious, “what’s your favorite movie?”

you grin, closing your eyes as you let the answer roll off your tongue. “pulp fiction. it’s a classic, don’t judge me.”

“no judgment. i respect it. but you gotta admit, it’s a little basic.”

“oh, and you’re not basic? let me guess—you’re gonna say something artsy like ‘a clockwork orange’ or whatever.”

“wrong. mine’s ‘the shining.’”

“oh, so you’re a horror girl. noted.”

she laughs, the sound warm and easy, and you realize you don’t want the conversation to end. not yet. not with her voice lingering in your room like this.

“what about you?” you murmur, breaking the soft rhythm of silence that had settled between you.

“hm? what about me?” her voice lilts, curious but guarded.

“what do you do? like for work?”

there’s a pause, long enough that you wonder if she’s going to sidestep the question entirely. but then she exhales, the sound quiet, like she’s carefully letting something go.

“i’m a musician,” she says finally, her words tentative, like they might break if handled too roughly. “or i guess i was… i teach music now.”

her admission catches you off guard, a flicker of something vulnerable passing through the connection. but you don’t press her, sensing that whatever she’s offering is enough for now. instead, you let the conversation drift, carried by the quiet ebb and flow of her voice.

the hours blur like watercolors, the world outside fading until there’s only her.

eventually, her tone softens, the edges of her words rounding with sleep. “it’s getting late. i should let you go,” she murmurs, her voice barely above a whisper.

you glance at the alarm clock on the wall, the soft red digits blinking 3:35 a.m. back at you. exhaustion tugs at you, but the thought of ending the call feels heavier than it should.

“but…” her hesitation pulls you back to her. “can i call you again? i had a really good time.”

your heart stumbles over itself, a small hitch in your chest. “yeah, of course you can.” your voice dips into something softer, something closer to truth. “i had a good time too.”

“great. goodnight, star.” there’s a smile in her voice, light and unguarded, and it lingers in the air even after she’s gone.

“goodnight, billie.”

the line goes quiet, and for a moment, you sit there, the warmth of her voice still brushing against you like an afterglow.

you slip off your bed, padding into the bathroom to wash your face and brush your teeth. the cool water shocks your skin, but it doesn’t chase away the heat curling low in your stomach.

when you return to your room, the lamp clicks off with a soft snap, plunging the space into shadows broken only by the shifting colors of your tv. you slide under the covers, the faint hum of a late-night rerun filling the silence. the images blur on the screen, but all you can think about is her voice, the way it clung to the edges of the night, soft and sure.

a ding pulls you from your thoughts. your phone glows faintly on the nightstand, and you reach for it, the sudden brightness making you blink.

new transactions — 4:03 a.m.

+1 (254) 783-0184 (dallas, TX) - $26.25

+1 (980) 598-7201 (charlotte, NC) - $43.75

+1 (213) 597-3492 (los angeles, CA) - $315.62

you smile, the corners of your lips twitching up involuntarily. it’s nothing unusual, but tonight it feels different, lighter somehow. you turn the screen off and set the phone back down, a quiet sense of contentment settling over you.

for the first time in a long time, you find yourself looking forward to your next call.

inspired by @whore-era

astrc’s tag list: @zendayasredbottoms @bilsdillldough @billiesrighthand @watercolorskyy @bilssturns ; hit my asks saying “add to taglist” if you want to be on my regular taglist for all billie content!

[princeloww]

in my town you have to pay hundreds of pounds to take part in local theatre productions. i think that's pretty fucked up. only the rich kids get to perform

[tarotwithavi]

Which Disney princess would you be and why?

Timeless reading

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

How to choose a pile?

Close your eyes and take a deep breath and ask the angels to show you the right pile for you and open your eyes. The first pile that catches your attention is the right pile for you.

This is a general reading so take what resonates and leave the rest!

Masterlist 🍒 Extended masterlist

Paid services

I am currently running short on funds and am unable to pay my rent, I would really appreciate some help 🙏🏻

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT 🫶🏻💞

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Pile 1

If you were to embody a Disney princess, you'd likely resonate deeply with Mulan and Moana.

Starting with Mulan, there’s a natural connection here due to your deep respect and love for your family and culture. Just like Mulan, you feel a strong responsibility to protect and honor your family. This could mean taking on the role of looking after your father, possibly even working with him or supporting his business. You don’t see these responsibilities as burdens, but rather as an honor, much like Mulan stepping up to protect her father and family when they needed her the most. You have that same fire within you—a drive that makes you stand up for the people you care about.

Your path, like Moana’s, is not confined by societal expectations. You’re someone who values independence and is ready to challenge the limits of what others think you should be or do. You’re always learning, always growing, and you’re not content with just “following the rules.” You want to make your own path, just as Moana did when she set out on her journey across the ocean, even though her entire village expected her to stay put. There's a deep explorer within you, someone who wants to experience life beyond traditional boundaries and limitations.

One thing that truly defines you is your straightforwardness. You’re not one to dance around the point you say what you mean, directly and with confidence. You may even have a sharp or deep voice that demands respect and conveys authority. People know where they stand with you, and that honesty is something that draws others to you and gains their respect.

Your courageous nature shines through in every part of your life. You’re not afraid to take the lead, to stand up for what’s right, and to go after your goals no matter how long it may take. In many ways, you have a warrior spirit; you’re determined, ambitious, and won’t settle for anything less than what you’ve dreamed of achieving. Like Mulan on the battlefield and Moana on her journey across the sea, you face challenges head-on, fully committed to coming out victorious.

This fierce independence is a core part of who you are, and it shows in your reluctance to rely on others for help. You’ve learned, maybe from a young age, to take responsibility for your own life and decisions. It’s possible you’ve had significant responsibilities from a young age, perhaps as the eldest child or someone others depended on, which has made you resourceful and strong. Now, you’re in a place where you’re even more eager to carve your own path and live life on your terms.

Curiosity and intelligence are two of your standout traits. You’re someone who questions everything, eager to understand the world in a deep way, and you don’t just accept things at face value. This makes you a natural explorer, someone constantly learning and searching for meaning, whether it’s through intellectual pursuits, travel, or self-discovery. You might have a fire or air sign as your Sun, Moon, or Rising.

Random things that may resonate : maroon red, eldest daughter, pretty handsome, short or medium height, group of 3 friends, novels/books, glasses, round eyes, parrot, hats.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Pile 2

If you were to embody a Disney princess, Rapunzel would be a perfect match for you. There’s something about your life journey that aligns with hers a sense of yearning for freedom, adventure, and the desire to find something truly meaningful.

From a young age, you may have felt like you were held back, perhaps by the restrictions of family or the walls of your own home. Like Rapunzel, you sensed that there was a big, exciting world beyond the limits of your surroundings, but you might not have been allowed to step out and explore on your own. It’s possible that you had strict parents or a family that wanted to keep you close and safe, but this may have also made you feel confined. You’ve always known there’s more to life and have longed for the chance to experience it firsthand.

You have many dreams and aspirations, which fuels your journey to find something truly meaningful. Some of you may be in search of your life purpose or even a career that will make you feel alive and fulfilled. There’s a deep sense within you that you’re meant for greatness, but at times, you may feel restricted by family expectations or responsibilities. This drive for something greater keeps pushing you forward, even when it feels challenging to break free from those limitations.

Just as Rapunzel treasured her hair, it seems that you also hold a deep connection to yours. Whether it’s long, well-cared-for, or something you’re known for, your hair might even reflect how you’re feeling. In times of transformation or emotional shifts, you might experiment with your hair, changing it up to mark a new beginning. It’s almost as if your hair is a symbol of your personal growth, a reflection of your resilience, and the beauty that lies within you.

You may feel a bit of a distance in your relationship with your parents or family. It’s not that there’s a lack of love; rather, there may be an invisible barrier that makes true connection challenging. Like Rapunzel, you might feel like you’re waiting for the day when you can break free of these unseen walls and find that sense of freedom and individuality. This may be why you’re drawn to finding your own path, something that defines you and allows you to be yourself without restrictions.

Creativity and spontaneity are other traits that connect you to Rapunzel. You have a spark of imagination and a playful side, someone who can turn any situation into an adventure. Whether it’s through art, ideas, or even just the way you approach life, you know how to make things vibrant and alive. This ability to bring color and joy into the world is something that makes you truly special. Your story is one of discovering yourself, breaking free from constraints, and finding a purpose that fills you with joy. Like Rapunzel, you’re on a journey to step into the world and make it your own, letting nothing hold you back. You have the courage, the creativity, and the strength to shine, and once you step out into your own light, there’s no limit to the magic you’ll create.

Random messages that may resonate: water sign, arts or art major, curly hair, autumn, Taurus, white and red dresses, blindfolded, moving away, knight in shining Armor.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Pile 3

Like Belle, you are someone who values knowledge and understanding. You have a deep appreciation for learning and personal growth, which drives you to explore new ideas and experiences. Just as Belle is often found with her nose in a book, you, too, are likely someone who seeks wisdom and insight, eager to expand your horizons. This thirst for knowledge not only enriches your life but also sets you apart from those around you, much like Belle’s unique perspective in her village.

Your ability to work well with others suggests that you have a collaborative spirit. You understand the importance of teamwork and the power of building relationships. Whether it's through family, friends, or colleagues, you recognize that great things can be achieved when people come together. Just as Belle works with the enchanted objects in the castle, you thrive in environments where you can connect and collaborate, bringing your talents to the table to create something beautiful and meaningful.

However, your journey also includes a sense of transition and growth. You might have experienced significant changes in your life, moving away from familiar surroundings or letting go of old beliefs that no longer serve you. This willingness to embrace change is a sign of your strength. Much like Belle leaving her home for the Beast’s castle, you are open to new experiences that lead to personal transformation.

You possess a nurturing quality, reflecting the warmth and care that Belle shows to those she loves. You likely have a deep sense of empathy, wanting to uplift and support others. This makes you a source of comfort for those around you, and people naturally gravitate toward your kind heart. Just as Belle helps the Beast see the beauty within himself, you have a way of bringing out the best in others, showing them that they are worthy of love and respect.

At the same time, you may find yourself in moments of solitude or deep reflection. Just as Belle often finds solace in her own thoughts, you may cherish your alone time, using it as a way to gain insight into yourself and the world around you. This introspective side allows you to process your experiences, helping you grow into a more well-rounded individual. It’s during these quiet moments that you gain clarity and strengthen your inner resolve.

Your willingness to embrace transformation indicates that you’re not afraid to face challenges head-on. Just as Belle navigates the complexities of her relationship with the Beast, you have the courage to confront difficult situations and seek growth through them. You understand that change can be uncomfortable, but it is often necessary for evolution. This resilience speaks volumes about your character.

Family and legacy are also important themes in your life. Just as Belle values her relationship with her father, you may find that family plays a significant role in shaping who you are. You likely cherish the bonds you have with loved ones and aspire to build a life filled with love and stability. Your dedication to those you care about reflects a desire for lasting connections, much like the legacy that Belle seeks to create in her own life.

However, your journey isn’t without its challenges. Like Belle, who faces conflicts with both societal expectations and personal struggles, you might encounter obstacles that test your determination. You may find yourself in situations where you need to stand your ground and assert your beliefs, navigating conflicts with grace and understanding. Your ability to confront these struggles with poise sets you apart and showcases your inner strength.

Random things that may resonate : ponds/lakes, leadership qualities, physically attractive, lonely, transformative, fever or headaches, competition.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

[thehauntedetheral]

That, “After all I am just a girl 🎀”, sent me! LOL! It’s such a fat fucking mood I have 24/7

So follow up request, how about a Hyper/Extreme Masculine Man x Hyper/Extreme Feminine Woman Reader

Give me someone who is wholesomely sexist that is so damn fine that the red flags start to look green

Hello! Thank you for your love. Glad that you liked my work. I hope you like my writing. This is my first time writing something like this so please be kind. I hope you love this. Enjoy!

Yandere Sexist X Reader

Requests are open!

• You and yan dated throughout the college and after graduation he proposed you. You were madly, irrevocably and passionately in love with him.

• Yan Husband who is a toxic sexist who is a excellent manipulator. He tells you after marriage how his parents were a traditional gender role household meaning husband being the bread winner and leader of house while wife being a good pretty house wife. He wants to try it. You were reluctant at first but after enough manipulation and sugar coating you agreed. After all this man is an excellent manipulator.

"Baby please just try it for me. If you don't feel good after doing this for a month we will stop it. You had been working so hard throughout the college. You can relax a bit by this and can also take a break and get the time to do all those hobbies and stuff you were interested in doing but couldn't due to college work. We have just got married why so eager for a job? Settle down have some rest. I have a very good paying job to provide for both baby. Please try this for me love?" He would say while holding your face delicately in his hand and looking at you with his gorgeous hazel eyes.

• You slowly started to delve into it. Baking, cooking meals, taking care of him and house and decorating, doing household chores, gardening vegetables, beautiful flowers and loving it.

�� He was slowly brainwashing you into his little pretty house wife without you knowing.

"Baby you don't have to think about anything I will take care of everything. Hmm? You know I love you and will take care of you."

• You were a definition of hyper feminine now. Long forgotten your old ambitious about your career self in college.

• Pretty Ribbons in your long hairs, delicate cute dresses, High heels, make up on, hosting parties for his colleagues, shopping, baking, reading, trying new recipes, doing house chores while waiting for your husband to come home were now part of your daily routine.

• Yan and you you would go out for dinners and if somebody looked at you a little long he would break their bones. After all you were his wife and wouldn't allow a weird creep to stare at you.

• He was the provider and you were his pink pretty princess housewife whom he loves to dead.

• Will shower you with gifts like vacations, jewellery, dresses.

• Yan Husband who is dominant in your married life and in bed.

• Yan Husband who is a toxic manipulator sexist who will make you totally dependent on you to make sure you don't run away from him ever.

"You need me baby as much as I need you. I am your husband I know what is best for us."

"You contribute to the household by taking care of me so good which helps me to do my job properly and soon you will be the mother of our beautiful children, darling."

• Looking at his handsome face with beautiful eyes oozing masculine energy always made you forget everything.

• You know your husband is always right and will take care of you.

Requests are open!

For more yandere reading:

[venusgirltarot]

What Would Your Person Think Of Your Fantasies (18+) — [♡]

Disclaimer: This reading is for entertainment purposes only. Tarot readings are about possibilities based on your current energy. Energy is forever changing and nothing is set in stone. Always remember, you have your own free will to make whatever decision you feel is best.

Close your eyes, take a deep breath, envision the person you are thinking of and then choose the pile(s) you feel most drawn to.

This is an 18+ reading with sexual messages and mature themes. Please do not interact with this post if you are a minor or are uncomfortable with NSFW readings/messages!

If you would like a personal reading from me, you can get one here!

Pile 1 ┊ ༑ ࿐ྂ。

oooo okay so there’s a lot of very deep intense energy here. You all may have a lot of Scorpio placements (specifically Scorpio Venus 👀) you may want your partner to be dominant and possessive and you could also be into kinkier things like bondage, choking and possibly even spit. It’s less of the act itself for you and more the way you’re giving this person all of the control and trusting them with your body in a way you wouldn’t trust anyone else.

Are you all on booktok? This gives me such spicy booktok vibes. Some of you may not even have a person in mind, you just wanted to check out the reading. You may have standards that are “too high” (I wrote it like that because I don’t believe in too high of expectations. Go get the booktok partner of your dreams and don’t let anyone stop you) do you like tattoos? I keep seeing a person with a sleeve. Maybe you also have a hand/arm kink. Boobs are so prevalent here so maybe you have larger boobs or just really nice/pretty ones and you like when they are payed attention to or the other way around, maybe you really like boobs and pay a lot of attention to them during sex.

Ok, Pile 1

This person has a HIGH drive and they will love your kinks/fantasies. They may not be familiar with all of them but are more than happy to learn. I heard “you always have something new for me” 😭 ooo girl (I mean that in a gender neutral way) this energy is INTENSE. I heard “they wanna be all in your business” and “they LOVE you” they could be a single parent for some of you. They’re very responsible and take a leader role in all areas of life and do have a very… I’m gonna be honest, I have no clue what I was going on about there because I just got a very detailed image of their ARM which is such a nice arm btw and they’re behind you doing it from the back but they have you like bent over the edge of the bed and they have a handful of your hair and they are VOCAL like not just dirty talk but a lot of moans/grunting. This scenario would be reversed depending on what parts your equipped with or what you’re into because I do feel like there’s going to be a few male or male identifying people that pick this pile! Also I just remembered that before this, I was about to say that they have a very “daddy/mommy” sort of vibe. I hope that makes sense.

I think as long as they have control or get to be more dominant and take care of you, they’re down for any kink you have. Like I said before, they’re very dominant and possessive. They may say “you’re mine” or “that (body part) is mine” ya know. I also just heard “as long as I get all of you” and aftercare is very important to them. In and out do the bedroom, they care for you a lot and want to take care of you and your needs.

Pile 2 ┊ ༑ ࿐ྂ。

Okay so I think this could be a more diverse pile. For some of you I think you like for your partner to worship you. To sort of treat you like a god/goddess in bed and you want them to he desperate to please you. You really like receiving oral and I think you like giving as well but you like very desperate/needy sex. You may like incorporating food or maybe you like to eat after sex. For others I think you may like having a submissive partner. You may be the type to listen to whimper audios. A large portion of people picking this like could be apart of the LGBTQ+ community. Some of you could like feet (no judgement, one in ten people actually like feet so you’re definitely not alone) you may like oil. I just heard that Cardi B quote “suck my sick and feed me grapes” 😭

This pile is so different so it’s hard to put it into words but I’ll start with the first category of people and then next I’ll go into the second category.

So first category, I don’t think you’re really a “dominant” person but you like being in control. You like telling your person how to please/touch you and you like when your person is desperate/needy or vocal. You like when your person makes their main priority please you and you especially love them giving you oral. You may have taught them exactly how you like it so they give it to you perfectly every time and oral seems especially important in the morning. You may like soft/gentle sex that’s very deep and passionate and you’re not done having sex until you’ve came and that’s equally important for both you and your partner. Some of you might like whips/collars but this could also be me picking up on the second category of people that picked this pile.

Your person loves this dynamic and they love pleasuring you. They specifically love your moans and the way your body moves when they go down on you. They may enjoy giving you massages and possibly giving you baths or having a bath ready for you. They love being inside you or you being inside them and they love how connected it makes them feel to you. They love kissing your body and they love how you look covered in oil (although they may get frustrated when it gets slippery or difficult) if you have boobs, they love massaging them and they really like kissing between your thighs. They LOVE when you give them oral and they think you’re very good at it but they wish you would do it more often. More than anything, they love the intensity and passion between the two of you.

Second category

For the second category, you enjoy being more dominant. You like when your partner is obedient and you really like your partners whimpers and the way their body moves. You may enjoy licking their body or teasing/edging them until they can’t handle it anymore and their eyes are watering. You either love being inside of them and how the inside of them feels or the other way around and you love them inside of you and how the inside of you feels or both. You may also really like face sitting/tongue riding and I keep seeing fingering. Similar to the first category, you may enjoy food or oil being incorporated. You may also like or want to get a sex swing and you may enjoy sex in the water or shower sex. You really love and want to worship and take your time with your person’s body.

Your person really loves this. Maybe they haven’t been properly loved or cared for in the past so the way you love them is very healing for them. They feel safe with you and you may be the first person they’ve ever been able to cum with. You’re very good at after care, as well and if you are interested in getting a sex swing, I definitely think they’d be up for it. They feel safe and comfortable with you so they’d be open to trying it and I think you both would really like it. I also keep seeing more fingering so that could be something you’re both really into or maybe the two of you recently had a very good experience with it or tried something new with it for the first time.

Pile 3 ┊ ༑ ࿐ྂ。

Okay pile 3, I think I’m getting both you and your person’s energy rn cause you’re very very in tune with each other and wanting the same thing in all aspects, not just sexual. This may be a new relationship or possibly a new beginning in your current relationship after a period of staleness or stagnancy. I keep getting shaky and nervous so maybe this is how you feel about this person.

You want someone who will take control and be more dominant but also that makes you feel safe and comfortable. You want someone that will make sure your wants and needs in the bedroom met. Maybe you’re not as experienced or are still figuring out your wants/needs so you want someone that will explore that with you and not make you feel bad about it. You may enjoy being spanked and you may like handcuffs. Maybe you’ve waited a long time for this or waited a long time for this person so you want this time spent with them to be worth the wait. I heard “everything I’ve wanted and more” you want deep and passionate sex, you want to feel like this persons is completely yours and vice versa. You want this person to explore and genuinely appreciate your body.

You may really want to give this person oral. You want to please them and hear what their moans sound like. You want to see them finish and know that you were the one that did that to them and you like knowing that you’re capable of doing that to them. You want to explore their body just as much as you want them to explore yours and you want to feel all of them. This feels somewhat sexual but also there’s so much this person wants with you. They want you to know that you’re the only person they ever think about, that nobody else compares.

They want to get to know every side of you and they want to get you alone really bad. Maybe you always see each other in public or in crowds of people so there’s no time to connect or get to know you on a deeper level but they want to so bad. They really like your sense of humor but wish they could see more of it. They want to see and appreciate your body. Even if they haven’t seen it, I heard “I know it looks beautiful” their idea of what you look like naked may actually be pretty accurate. They may masturbate to you often.

You may have very soft skin and they really like that. They think of running their hands all over your body. They think about giving you oral. I heard “I wonder how you’d take it” they may be very large down there or vice versa but they fantasize about how you’d take them or if you’d be able to take all of them. They want to be inside of you so bad (or vice versa, of course) more than anything, they want you.

They want you in a way they’ve never wanted anyone else and they want to know who you are at your core. They seem a little possessive on the sense that they want to know you in a way no one else gets to know you and understand every part of you in a way no one ever has. They may want to just cuddle naked or do something where they feel very bonded /connected to you. Possibly cock warming. Maybe that’s something you’re into that they’d be very happy to try. This is a very deep and passionate connection that I heard “will come into fruition” and “just give it time”

I also noticed that I said “so bad” so much during this reading so maybe that’s some sort of sign for someone!

Hello, lovelies! Thank you all so much for reading this PAC! I apologize for any typos, I haven’t proof read it all just yet. I hope you enjoyed the reading! Feel free to check out my past readings, here

As always, I hope you all are having a good day or night! Sending you so much love and light! ♡

࿐ྂ mara

[cepheustarot]

What awaits you in January?

Attention! This reading is for entertainment purposes only. This tarot reading does not give a 100% guarantee that all the described situations will occur or being ultimate truth. You build your own life and destiny and only you know yourself best.

Paid readings

Pick a pile. Choose one or more pictures. Trust your intuition.

Pile 1: The first half of the month will be wonderful for you, in general you will have a good mood and no sudden mood swings, this month you will have a good opportunity to start something new, change something in your life, change of scenery. It is also very likely that you will receive an expensive gift from someone, you can get a bonus at work or you will improve your academic performance and you will pass all important tests for good grades, in general success will be waiting for you. Further, in the middle of the month you will be invited to some event, it may be a wedding or someone’s birthday (maybe yours) or any other holiday. This event will be very good for you, you will get many positive emotions and pleasant memories, it will be a very fun event. At the end of the month you will feel a breakdown, maybe the whole month you will have a busy event and it will wear you out, you will get tired, so it will be very important at the end of the month to give yourself a rest and clear  your head. You may also have unforeseen circumstances that you were not prepared for, so be careful! 

Pile 2: At the beginning of the month you will be successful in career/studies, you can be promoted or transferred to a larger firm, in general there will be positive changes. As for study, you will learn a lot and try, because your work will pay off and you will have good grades. Also at the beginning of the month there will be the possibility to engage in self-development or something creative, maybe you will also teach and train someone, will be in the role of a mentor. At the beginning of the month you will also have good unexpected news! In the middle of the month you will continue to maintain your energy and productivity, there will be events that are not related to work or school: you may have many meetings with people, friends or you will receive invitations to the party, Take part in organizing activities and etc. You can also do dance or any other sport, any other active activity. The end of the month will be stable for you, but here it will be best to pay attention to your budget, you should start saving money to feel safe in unforeseen situations. 

Pile 3: The beginning of the month will be busy, you will feel like a real workaholic, the days will be productive for you. It is important to keep in mind that success depends on you and how much you put in to achieve it. In addition, for you here will be a topical painstaking activity, requiring increased attention to detail. In the middle of the month you will be successful, you will come much closer to achieving your goals and plans, you can also go on a trip in mid-January or start traveling. In general, everything will be related to movement, maybe you buy a new transport or get a driver’s license. So the end of the month will be energetic for you and you will be in good spirits, maybe you will often go to parties, dates, meet people and spend time with them, or maybe you will try yourself as a host or participate, try acting, maybe take acting classes. Here in any case you will be in the center of attention, you will develop your charisma. 

Thank you for reading! I will be glad of any feedback 🖤

[writingwithfolklore]

What Makes a Good Pay Off?

              Novels are full of set ups and pay offs. Every single element you introduce is considered a set up, which means every single one needs to have one or more pay offs. If a character is really good at drawing, that skill needs to come into play during an important moment later or it will feel like a waste of words and reader attention, for example. If there’s a dog in the first chapter, it can’t disappear without providing some use to the plot.

              So how do we write a good pay off? It depends on a few things:

1. The longer the set up, the bigger the pay off

If the pay off is relatively small, place the set up sooner before. The longer it takes to get to the pay off, the more expectations are raised and the greater the moment needs to be. If a dog is introduced at the beginning it would be appropriate for it to play a small part in the plot a couple chapters later. However, if the dog is introduced and then comes up again and again across the plot, it should have a large role in the plot and ultimate ending of the novel.

2. Large pay offs should have at least 3 set ups

If you introduce something at the beginning, you can’t expect readers to remember it all the way to the end without some sort of reminder. That’s why large set ups typically come back up throughout several points of the novel. 3 times is not a hard and fast rule (and depending on the length of your novel and where your pay off is, this number is going to look very different across projects) but it’s a good guideline so that you remember to carry it throughout the novel before the pay off.

3. The last pay off is the biggest

If your set up has multiple pay offs, they should get progressively bigger and more satisfying as they go, leading up to the final that has the largest impact on plot and character.

4. Every POV character will have a set up and pay off

An arc is essentially a large set up and pay off, which means every character should have one. Your inciting incident is the set up for your MC’s arc, but the other POV characters also need their own introductions to their arcs, and eventually, their own resolutions. These can be placed wherever makes the most sense for them, and can be shorter than the main plot (for example, a side-character’s story may be resolved any time between the midpoint and ending, though I wouldn’t go any sooner than your midpoint).

[bosbas]

Chapter 9: I cannot be your friend, so I pay the price of what I lost

series masterlist previous part || next part

pairing: colin bridgerton x enemy!fem!reader WC: 4.0k words

Warnings: period-typical gender roles, small part of the dialogue in French, colin being incredibly down bad it's insane, Penelope DOES NOT have feelings for colin in this, the bridgertons being tapped in as fuck

Summary: It took precisely two days in England for you to utterly despise Colin Bridgerton. It took him approximately twelve hours after that to hate you right back. But he doesn't care that you're the only person in the ton who doesn't like him. You're set to marry someone else anyway, right?

A/N: this one wrote itself basically. so enjoy! happy weekend and a big smooch

June 6, 1816 – It seems that one Mr. Nigel Berbrooke has returned after an extended unexplained absence. He was spotted at the gentleman's club last night, though only for a very short time. This author heard that Mr. Berbrooke was asked to leave only an hour into his appearance due to a particularly aggressive threat he made toward Simon Basset. It’s safe to say that he has been uninvited from the Duke’s ball this evening, and perhaps from the rest of the social season’s events as well, depending on how lenient the Duke and Duchess of Hastings decide to be. 

However, information regarding his whereabouts for the past month is scarce, and this author lacks any reputable sources about what the man has been up to while away from London. But rest assured, dear readers, that any information I receive will be relayed through this very column.

Colin looked nervously at his reflection for what seemed like the hundredth time, adjusting his cravat ever so slightly. He sighed in frustration, accepting the fact that his appearance wouldn’t look quite right no matter what he did. 

Tonight was Daphne’s ball, and he knew for a fact that you would be in attendance. As much as he was trying to convince himself that this ball was no different, he knew it wasn’t going to be the same. Not after his talk with Anthony. There were some concerningly similar aspects between Kate and Anthony and his friendship– could he even call it a friendship? –with you, and Colin was not too hard-headed to be able to admit that. 

But he didn’t want to scare you off. As much as he liked you, he knew you were skittish after everything that happened with Lord Barlow. Besides, Colin didn’t even know if you liked him, too, or if you considered all of this as just an attempt to make you look desirable to other candidates. 

Frankly, Colin wasn’t even sure he could convince you to ever marry him. Maybe just being friends, or whatever it was the two of you had now, would suffice. Truthfully, he would take anything. 

Tonight, he just wanted a dance. And perhaps a chat, too. 

Based on the past few times Colin had spoken with you, he had concluded that you might be his favorite person in the ton to talk to. The mere thought of speaking with you tonight stirred excitement in his stomach. Every time you engaged in conversation, he found himself utterly captivated, forgetting everything else around him. What's more, you seemed genuinely interested in his what he had to say, a rarity among the ton. For the first time, he felt truly understood, and he hoped desperately that you reciprocated his sentiment. 

“You look fine,” assured Eloise. “Now can we please go? We’ll never hear the end of it from Daphne if we’re late!” 

Colin grumbled in annoyance but begrudgingly made his way to the carriage. In truth, he'd do just about anything to be near you. Even if he didn’t immediately dance with you– knowing full well you would be flocked by hordes of gentlemen wanting your hand in marriage– he still liked to simply… observe you. How your eyes crinkled shut when you laughed, the way you nervously bit your lip when someone you didn’t particularly like asked you to dance, the way you fiddled with your gloves when you were itching to get out of a conversation.

Bloody hell, Colin thought, maybe he did have feelings for you. Well, not love, that would be absurd. But certainly something more than the petty rivalry that had consumed your interactions for weeks on end. It was a sobering realization, especially after relentlessly antagonizing you for the better part of seven weeks.

He was so caught up in his thoughts about you that Colin barely noticed once the carriage had arrived at Daphne and Simon’s residence.

“Colin, darling, is anything the matter?” his mother inquired, tapping him on the arm and gently leading him toward his sister’s home.

“No, no, sorry. Everything’s alright, just got a bit distracted there,” he smiled back. 

Christ, he had to get a grip. You’d be put off immediately if you saw how he was acting now. He smoothed his coat down as he entered the ballroom, eyes immediately searching for you in the crowd.

He quickly spotted you speaking to a man he’d never seen before with Isabelle and Carlos by your side. Damn, thought. He’d have to wait to ask you to dance. 

But it was no bother. In the meantime, he attended to his duties as the most beloved Bridgerton. He sought out his sister and Simon to thank them for hosting the ball, of course, and danced with Penelope Featherington. 

Yet his focus stayed on you. He found himself glancing over to where you were every few minutes, just needing reassurance that you were still there. And also because he quite liked looking at you in general.  

Colin shook his head, bringing his attention back to Penelope. He had to remind himself to pull himself together. Even though Colin had spoken to Anthony, you had no reason to believe anything was different between you two. And it wasn’t. Everything was the same. It was only Colin who had changed. Who wanted something different, something more. 

“What’s on your mind?” asked Penelope after she noticed Colin’s drifting attention.

“Ah, nothing,” he responded dismissively. “Does Lady Montclair look particularly… subdued tonight, do you think?”

“Y/N?” Penelope clarified, looking over at where you were standing next to Louis. 

“Oh heavens, don’t look now!” Colin whispered, panicked. “She’ll see us both looking and know we were talking about her.”

Penelope laughed in disbelief. “Could it be? That my dear friend Colin Bridgerton is finally falling for someone? Have you truly found roots in England? Is that why you’ve stayed for so long this season?”

Colin could only smile bashfully. She had never seen him quite like this. And though it was unusual, it was fairly endearing to see him so flustered over a girl.

“Well, go talk to her, then. What are you doing dancing with me?”

“Penelope, I dance with you at every ball. I can go speak with her after. And don’t tell anyone! I’m not even sure if she likes me.”

“Very well then,” relented Penelope, but Colin did not miss the knowing smile she sent him.

After the dance concluded, Colin chatted with his brothers for a few minutes before making his way over to you and Louis, wanting to avoid seeming overly eager. But once he started walking toward you, your head shot up, as if you could tell that he was getting nearer. 

Your eyes met for a split second, but you immediately turned your head away, choosing instead to look at your gloved hands, which were fidgeting nervously. Colin frowned in confusion at your reaction, but continued walking, thinking that perhaps you had seen someone else behind him. 

As he reached your side, he saw you chewing anxiously on your lip and his frown deepened. But he pushed through. This was what he wanted, after all. You were what he wanted. 

“Lady Montclair,” he bowed. “Would you care for a dance tonight?” he asked, a hopeful smile on his lips as he reached for the dance card on your wrist.

But you pulled your hand away abruptly, refusing to meet his eyes. “No, thank you, Mr. Bridgerton,” was your curt response. 

Colin’s confusion morphed into frustration. What was the matter with you?

“That’s alright, I understand if you want to save space on your dance card for more…serious suitors,” he cringed as he heard himself speak. But at the end of the day, he was well aware that you were looking for a titled gentleman to be your husband. “We could take a turn about the ballroom and chat for a bit,” he offered, looking at you hopefully once again.

You finally met his eyes, and he could tell you were searching for something as you looked at him, a pained look on your face.

“No, thank you,” you repeated firmly, an edge to your voice. 

Colin rolled his eyes. This was so typical of you. You let him in for about three seconds and then went back to keeping him at arm’s length for whatever unknown reason.

“Are we really back to doing this?” asked Colin, exasperated. “I thought we were friends, at the very least.”

Your spine was suddenly rigid, and a fury ignited in your eyes. “We were never friends, Mr. Bridgerton,” you ground out. “You were simply doing Eloise a favor. Now, if you’ll excuse me, there’s someone else I must dance with.”

Your voice was cold and uncaring, and Colin was slapped with a reminder of how things used to be as you sidestepped him to go toward the other side of the ballroom. 

Three steps into your journey, it was clear that there wasn’t actually anyone waiting to dance with you, but he couldn’t for the life of him figure out why you were so desperate to get away. Even at the peak of your hatred toward him, you were always open to verbally sparring. 

Colin turned around to Louis, shooting him a questioning look. But your brother could only shrug. Who knew what went on in the depths of your brain? Louis had noticed you had been slightly on edge ever since you returned from Hyde Park with your sisters yesterday afternoon, but he wasn’t expecting you to be this hostile, especially after getting along so well with Colin.

Feeling his desire to speak with you outweigh his pride, Colin turned back and grabbed your hand, turning you to face him. “If what you want is to go back to arguing, I’m happy to do that,” he said, heart sinking to his stomach at the thought of going back to how things were.

He sounded positively pathetic. But he didn’t care. All he cared about was keeping this fragile dynamic alive, keeping you near him. If Anthony and Kate could do it, couldn’t the two of you?

You seemed on the brink of tears, but your voice held an unspeakable fury. “What I want is for you to leave. Me. Alone,” you emphasized each word with a pointed jab at his chest. “Please,” you whispered, your voice faltering. “I do not wish to dance with you, or to chat with you, or even to be near you at all. Good night.”

With that, you pivoted away, heading towards the refreshment table, tears welling in your eyes. And Colin was left standing there, hand lingering over the spot on his chest you had prodded.

He felt a familiar anger rising through him. It didn’t matter that you were the only person in the world who understood him. It didn’t matter that you were completely beautiful and incredibly smart, either. And it certainly didn’t matter that he’d fallen for you. Because you still hated him. And he was a fool to ever think things could be different.

Colin was rooted to the spot, unable to move as he watched you smile and greet some gentleman or other. He flinched as he saw the man kiss the back of your hand, and watched, seething, as he led you to the dance floor. 

Deciding he needed something stronger than lemonade, Colin turned around and grabbed a glass of champagne, downing it in one go. He couldn’t believe you didn’t think he was your friend. What the hell else could you call it?

He spotted Eloise and Penelope chatting close by and stomped over to them. He was sure he looked like Gregory after a fight with Hyacinth, pouting with his arms crossed, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. 

“I thought you were going to talk to Y/N,” said Penelope, confused to see him back so soon. 

Colin shot her a murderous look. “She wants nothing to do with me, apparently. She said the only reason I talked to her was out of a favor to Eloise.”

Eloise coughed awkwardly. “Well, didn’t you?”

“No!” shot back Colin defensively. “Not entirely, at least. I don’t know. I need to leave.” 

You were still dancing with the unnamed man, and Colin was very much still seething as he watched the pair of you twirl around and smile at one another. 

Usually, it was frustrating to watch you dance with other people because you were never like that with him. But this well and truly hurt. It hurt to see you like this when he knew, now for a fact, that he could never have that with you again. 

“I need to leave,” he repeated. He couldn’t bear to watch you do this all night.

Snatching another glass of champagne and downing that one, too, he bid his goodbyes to Penelope and Eloise and made his way across the ballroom to the exit.

“Are you leaving already, darling? You’ve barely been here an hour,” Colin heard next to him as a hand reached out for his elbow. 

Turning around, he faced his mother, who looked like she was in the middle of a conversation with Anthony and Benedict. 

Colin nodded. “I’m sorry, mother. I just can’t. I can’t stay,” he responded, voice breaking as he glanced back toward you again. 

Seeing you lean to whisper something in your suitor’s ear, he slumped forward, practically feeling physical pain at the sight. 

“I must go,” Colin said firmly, giving his mother a quick squeeze and rushing to the door. 

Violet nodded, bewildered, and followed where Colin’s gaze had been. Finding you dancing with Lord Norcliffe, Violet sent a knowing look to Benedict and Anthony. 

“I suppose Hyacinth was right,” she said sympathetically.

“And don’t you dare tell her! It’ll get to her head,” responded Benedict. 

---

“The Bridgertons will be in attendance tonight,” your mother informed you carefully as you sat in the carriage on the way to yet another ball. 

“And by the Bridgertons you mean…”

“She means Colin, yes,” answered Jacques, earning a stifled laugh from his wife, Chiara. 

Ever since they’d been back and learned of your intense hatred for Colin, Jacques had not been able to stop making a mockery of it. Usually, you were quite agreeable, and it was rare that you found yourself at odds with someone who wasn’t your sibling, so this seemingly unprompted hatred was quite amusing to your brother. 

You groaned and glared at him. “No one asked you to come tonight, you know. In fact, no one asked you to come to England at all! You could have stayed in Tuscany, and I would have been much happier.”

“Ah, but then I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to tease you about this,” answered Jacques, completely unbothered by your biting tone. 

“Whatever,” you grumbled in response, only slightly comforted by Chiara’s apologetic smile as she softly scolded her husband.

It had been four days since your run-in with Nigel, and three since you saw Colin at Daphne’s ball, and the thought of seeing him again made you feel sick. It was already bad enough that he was disgusting and had no respect for you, but it was made infinitely worse by the fact that you had let yourself grow to care for him. In a friendly way, of course. You could never have married him, anyway. But it was still embarrassing that you fell into his charming trap and thought that you could become something more than a conquest for him.

“Be nice,” your mother whispered in warning as you approached the Bridgertons. 

You shrugged her off, not needing a reminder. You had been brought up to be the perfect lady. You weren’t about to forget yourself now. You refused to give Colin that power. 

You greeted the family warmly until you got to Colin. “Mr. Bridgerton,” you said, giving him a curt nod.

Not waiting for a response, you moved to stand away from him as you looked out at the crowd. Perhaps you would find a gentleman who was actually enjoyable to talk to, though your chances seemed slim. 

Colin shifted uncomfortably on his feet, watching you intently. It seemed that your behavior at Daphne’s ball hadn’t been a fluke, after all. He ground his teeth in annoyance, growing increasingly irritated by the fact that you were just standing there.

Why weren’t you doing anything? It was infuriating. Perhaps it would have been less infuriating if it were anyone else, but it seemed like anything you did was particularly vexing to him.

Making his way over to you, he stopped beside you. Wanting to slip back into the comfort of your tumultuous dynamic, Colin took a shot at your attire. “I see the modiste-”

“Don’t,” you interrupted, your voice shaking, barely above a whisper, and your gaze locked ahead of you. 

Colin was taken aback. You had never, in all the time that he had known you, backed down from an argument. It seemed that you just… didn’t want him around at all. You hated him enough that you didn’t want to be near him. And in any way that mattered, it was worse than when you were antagonizing him.

“I’m sorry,” Colin said desperately. “I didn’t mean- Look, can we please talk? Just quickly, I just want-”

But you didn’t even let him finish. “There’s nothing to say.”

Colin scoffed, a futile attempt to hide how hurt he was really feeling. “What do you mean there isn’t anything to say? I have things to say, at least. Just talk to me.”

You finally turned to face him, feeling your stomach drop as you looked at his desperate eyes searching yours for an answer. 

“Let me rephrase. I do not wish to speak with you, in any capacity, now or any time in the future. I do not care to hear what you have to say, Mr. Bridgerton, and I would appreciate it if you could respect that, though I know that’s not usually in your nature.”

Colin could only sputter, staring at you in disbelief as you walked away. He felt his stomach turn uncomfortably as you reached a man he didn’t know, but whom you’d danced with at Daphne’s Ball. 

He had to have done something wrong. Colin hadn’t the slightest clue what, but you obviously had something against him, and it clearly wasn’t just you being silly. 

He swore under his breath. You were impossible. Not even Eloise knew why you hated him! How on earth was he supposed to know how to fix this when you refused to speak with him? It was almost easier when all you did was hurl insults at him and step on his feet as he poured lemonade down your dress.

Over on the dance floor, you couldn’t help but steal glances at Colin, mentally scolding yourself every time you did. This was not how you were supposed to be acting toward the man who had jumped at the first opportunity to compromise you.

The only reason you were dancing with Lord Norcliffe now was because he had not arrived in London until after your whole debacle with Lord Barlow. You supposed he could have heard what happened from someone else, but he was safer than the rest of the men of the ton, you thought grimly. It would’ve helped if he was interesting to talk to, or even nice to look at, but you supposed you couldn’t be very selective.

Curtsying and thanking Lord Norcliffe for the dance, you made a beeline toward Carlos and Philippe across the room. 

“You look like you don’t want to be here,” commented your brother, amused. 

You rolled your eyes at him. “Astute observation, Philippe.”

Carlos laughed and gave you a comforting pat on the head. “But what happened to your season in England? I thought you were excited to be here?”

“My mother and father were certainly excited,” you mused, taking Philippe’s lemonade and drinking from it. 

Seeing their confused looks, you briefly explained your encounter with Nigel Berbrooke, and they suddenly became very concerned. 

“Ce connard! Il est où? Je vai le tuer,” growled Philippe under his breath, not wanting the rest of the ton to hear his threat (That asshole! Where is he? I’m going to kill him).

“Philippe, it’s alright,” you assured him, glancing over at Carlos and seeing that he, too, had understood your brother’s words despite not speaking French. “I believe Simon Basset took care of him at White’s a few days ago.”

“That’s just as well, or I’d have done it myself,” he grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“You can just come to Spain next year, cariño,” Carlos said warmly.

You smiled up at your brother-in-law, silently thanking him for the offer even though you knew your parents would never allow it. 

Colin watched enviously as you had a conversation with your older brother and your older sister’s husband. He wished he could talk to you again. Even if nothing got resolved between you, he liked to hear your voice. He loved how stubborn you were and how frustrated you got when you forgot the English word for something. He just missed you, he supposed. 

Which is why, as Colin watched yet another man approach you and write their name on your dance card, he decided he couldn’t do this anymore. The watching, the waiting, the wanting. He couldn’t do any of it anymore. 

“I need to leave,” he said firmly.

Daphne, who had been standing beside him, turned to face him, startled. “Leave where?”

“India, Egypt, Morocco, back to Greece. I don’t care. I just need to get out of here.”

“What? Why?” asked Daphne, still confused. 

“You know why,” Colin responded flatly, giving her an unimpressed look. 

Daphne instinctively turned to look at you, laughing as the man you were dancing with whispered something to you. She turned to look back at her brother with a disappointed look.

“I can’t imagine leaving would be the best option.” 

“Why not?” Colin shot back. “What good can my presence possibly do?”

Daphne put a hand on her brother’s elbow, giving him a sympathetic look. However, her voice was firm. “You always leave when it gets hard, you know? You’re always the first out the door and onto a different continent. Why are you so scared of staying?”

Colin was stunned. He didn’t know his motives were that obvious. But he supposed it made sense for Daphne to know since she knew him better than most people.  

“I’m not scared of staying,” Colin insisted defensively. “I just think it’ll be better for everyone if I go.”

Daphne furrowed her eyebrows and shook her head. “And do what? What could you possibly be doing that is so important that you would abandon the woman you love?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Colin argued, his voice growing strained as he felt his chest getting tighter. “None of it matters. She doesn’t love me back. I could be down the street or in Brazil and she wouldn’t even notice. She clearly hates me and wants nothing to do with me, so why should I stay?”

Daphne crossed her arms, looking more than a little disappointed. “Well, I won’t be the one to stop you if you decide to go. But really think about whether you want to be the person who leaves time and again. Things could change. It's only been a few days since she's been like this.”

She had a point, but Colin was too upset to admit it. Daphne was right. He couldn’t just leave now. If anything, it would hurt him more than being near you with you not speaking to him. It was the strangest feeling, knowing you loved someone but feeling powerless to do anything about it. 

Colin knew he couldn’t continue like this. Perhaps he couldn’t leave, but he could certainly stay as far away as possible. 

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[sweatervest-obsessed]

Quand Tu Voudras

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

WC: ~7.2k

TW: kissing, angst, blood, burns, cuts, bruises, arguments, crying, depression, mention of EDs, panicking, explosions, drinking, self-image issues, mentions of addiction, mentions of drug use, mentions of Maeve

A/N: Third and Final Part babyyyyyy let's GO. I'm actually excited to watch each part get its own vibes, but also be a cohesive story. I really hope you all enjoy it! Thank y'all for doing me on this crazy journey!

Dedicated to New Lovers , You're Keeping Me Down

“If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story.” ~Orson Welles

It was the most beautiful you had ever looked. 

Shopping for a wedding dress was one of the most terrifying experiences you had ever lived through, and you had been shot multiple times. 

But being surrounded by your closest friends and family members as you tried on dress after dress kept you going. 

You finally found the perfect one in a small shop outside of the DC area, hidden in a little suburb where life wasn’t as rushed as it felt. 

You tried on only three dresses at this little boutique. The second was almost perfect, and you were about to “say yes to the dress,” but someone was reorganizing the front rack, and that’s when the one you were currently wearing appeared, sent by the higher powers. 

It fits you perfectly. 

You started to cry when you saw yourself in the mirror, which caused Garcia to start crying, which caused Emily and JJ to cry, and the rest of your family quickly followed. 

So it was only natural that staring at yourself in the mirror right now made you tear up again. 

“Oh, Babe, no.” Emily was quick to fan your eyes as you tilted your head back, letting the tears melt back into your eyes. 

“I can’t help it.” You grumbled, eyes wide as you tried calming your breathing slowly. “It’s just so pretty…” 

“I know, I know. My money is on Derek crying first.” 

“Oh, please. We all know Rossi won’t stop crying the second he takes his seat.”

You had decided that the only people you wanted at the ceremony were close friends and family. That meant the team, their little ones, and each of your parents. Small. Peaceful. Intimate.

Derek was over the moon when you asked him to officiate your wedding, wanting him to be there for you in every way since that’s always been his role. 

You had taken him out for coffee under the very real guise that wedding planning made you want to rip your head off and chuck it out to sea. 

“Okay, baby girl, talk to me.” 

The ice was melting in the cup from the warmth of your hands, making your hands wet with the condensation, hiding the sweat from your nerves. 

“Do you know how much flowers cost?” 

Derek chuckled and shook his head. “No. I don’t think I do.”

“The government doesn’t pay me enough for the amount of flowers I want at my reception.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have picked the Peabody Library as your reception location.”

“In my defense.” You furrowed your brows. “You were with us when we toured it. It’s perfect, Derek. Don’t tell me it’s not.” 

“No, it’s perfect; I just don’t understand why you need that many flowers.”

“Sometimes, I feel like you don’t even know me, Derek Morgan.” 

“He’s going to cry first.” Emily smiled, lightly dabbing under your eyes with some of your powder foundation to show that you weren’t almost crying. 

“I will buy you a whole bottle of Möet that Rossi will cry first.” 

As JJ entered the room, you and Emily shook hands, giggling like school girls. “Almost ready?” 

You nodded, glancing over at yourself in the mirror. 

Honestly, you had never thought this day would come. Your wedding day. After everything you had been through, all of the heartbreak, all of the confusion, all of the traveling and running away. Everything you could possibly think of going wrong just went wrong. Suddenly, the flowers weren’t delivered, and then no one showed up to the reception, and then you were left at the altar, abandoned and unloveable again. You couldn’t breathe; your chest was seizing. It was too tight. There wasn’t enough fresh air in the room. Your heartbeat was too loud, and you couldn’t look away from yourself in the mirror. This wasn’t real; Everything bad happening was in your head. 

Or maybe it was an awful dream, and you need to wake up before it gets too far and your heart gets shattered again. 

JJ whispered your name, reaching out for you, sending a shock of electricity through your arm when she touched it. 

You jumped. 

“I want to talk to him.” You blurted out, looking over at JJ. “I–I need to talk to him.” 

“You said yes.” 

You nodded, staring down at your wine glass, pondering if it was the right decision. Emily was wondering the same thing. 

“I don’t know if it’s the best idea for you to go back to—”

“It is.” You cut her off, not harshly, just firmly. “I haven’t been the same since I left the BAU, and I left for perfectly valid reasons, Em, I know. But….”

“But?” 

“But I miss it. Don’t you? It flexes my muscles in ways I couldn’t replicate, and I was so good at it. I felt smart and useful and not lost, wandering the islands of Greece.”

If you didn’t know her so well, Emily’s fake gasp could have easily been mistaken for a real one. “We had a fantastic time, and you know it.” 

“Yes, but I also know that I was feeling so unfulfilled intellectually that I went off and got a Ph.D. Like, come on, I never wanted a PhD before I left; I just didn’t know how to challenge myself.”

“That is fair. I just think you need to consider the fact that you’d be working with you know who.”

“You can say his name, Emily. He’s not some dark lord; he’s just an idiot with an IQ of 187.” 

“Yeah, Yeah, look. I have to go, but we are not done with this conversation, okay? I’ll need a full PowerPoint presentation with all the pros and the cons.” 

“Yes, ma’am, I can do that. I’ll talk to you later. Love you.”

You heard the click of her line going dead before there was a knock on your door. You quickly pressed play on your movie, letting one of your favorite rom-coms (When Harry Met Sally) play in the background as you scrounged around for where you had left your wallet. 

Clad in an oversized shirt you’ve had forever, plaid pajama shorts that were once part of a Christmas set, and your comfiest fuzzy socks, you slid over to the door once you had found your wallet. 

You opened the door. “How much…”

His eyes met yours, and you took a small step back. 

“You are not the pizza guy.” 

“No. I’m not.” 

His answer caused you to laugh a little bit, filling his chest with a warmth he hadn’t felt in over two years. 

“Can I–” He gestured into your house, and you moved to the side, allowing him to enter. 

“I, um….” You bit your lip and eyed him up and down. “As long as you’re okay with When Harry Met Sally playing in the background.”

“Time for the annual rewatch.” He smiled at you nervously, but a very small part of yourself enjoyed the fact that he remembered. 

You headed back towards the couch, casually trying to clean up as you went to give the impression that you were cleaner than you were. 

“Shoes off before you get to the couch.” You called over your shoulder. 

The door closed behind Spencer with a soft click. 

“Honey, you said you don’t want a first look.”

“We don’t have to look at each other—I don’t know, like a corner or something. I just..I-I-I.” 

JJ watched as your panic started to bubble over, and she took your hands in hers. “Want to call him first?” 

You nodded. “Y-Yeah, let’s try that.” 

JJ handed you your phone off the vanity, watching as you dialed the number, panicking even more when it wouldn’t connect—there was no service. 

Spencer had asked you to play chess with him that night, and you obliged. Something about falling into an old routine felt good; it felt right. A movie you chose in the background while playing chess against Spencer. Some things were always meant to be. The night was filled with laughs, small talk, and contentment–life feeling like it should. 

A familiarity shrouded you both, mocking the comfort you once used to feel.

When you won, he was a bit baffled. You had only beaten him a few times, and he was focusing on all of the outcomes. How could he not notice—

“You can’t win every game, Spence.” 

His heart lodged in his throat at the nickname, and he looked up at you, that goofy half smile on his lips. 

Lovestruck. He looked lovestruck. 

And then you exhaled. “We can’t avoid it forever. I know that’s why you came here in the first place.” 

He blinked away the love, replacing it with guilt, hurt, fragments of something you both had grieved in your own time. 

“Y-yeah. Let’s um, let’s talk about…”

You redialled the number only to be met with the same beeping as before, eyes wide as you looked at JJ. “There’s no service. JJ, I can’t–he won’t…” 

Emily handed you her phone–it was ringing, thank god. 

“Hey Emily, is everything okay?” 

“It’s me.” You said simply, but the wobble in your voice said everything he needed to hear.

“oh–Honey, talk to me. What’s going on? What’s wrong?” 

“I-I…” You swallowed your tears and looked over at your two friends—you gestured slightly, silently asking them to leave the room so you could talk to your future husband alone. They obliged, letting the door close. It was nice of them to pretend like they weren’t running over to see if they could eavesdrop from his room, but they were just met with Derek in the hall, who had also been booted out. 

“Is she okay?” 

Emily shook her head. “No idea. She was fine one moment, and she was about to burst the next. Like a complete shift of personality.” 

Derek sighed. “I’ve never seen him switch so quickly either. He was all nervous one minute, but the second he heard her voice….he almost sounded like Hotch doing damage control.” 

JJ laughed slightly at that, glancing back at the door hiding you behind it. 

“Do you think she’ll go through with it?” Derek whispered slowly, making sure no one was around to hear him. 

Emily fidgeted with the bracelet on her wrist. “She’s terrified he’s not going to.” 

“Look, Spence, I get it. Shit happens. But you don’t know what it was like, coming home one day and you were laughing with someone else. You hadn’t laughed for months, almost a year, before then.”

“I know. I’m so–”

“Say sorry one more fucking time. Sorry isn’t explaining…or talking to me. I know you have trouble expressing whatever bullshit is going on in your head, but you have to try. It’s me, for fucks sake, Spence, And while I am willing to wait, I can only be so patient for so long with no actual explanation—” 

“I was terrified of you.”

“What…” 

Spencer stood up, pacing back and forth in front of your coffee table, trying to find the right words. “You were so far gone when Em died, and you had sunk into this pit of despair, and I was scared of watching you push down this path, destructive and–and; I didn’t know who you were, and I was so scared to watch you go down this path so I turned away instead.” 

“Spencer, you ran to JJ. You just left me here, alone. And then, when she comes back, you fucking threaten the fact that you were having Dilaudid cravings?”

“I think he’s even more mortified that she will back out on him. He knows everything she’s gone through. I mean–I love her, but she’s got major commitment issues.” 

JJ slapped his arm and glared at him. “And for good reason, Derek.” 

Derek grumbled an ‘ow,’ rubbing at his arm. “I’m not saying it wasn’t justified–I completely side with her on it--I’m just pointing out what we already know.” 

Spencer closed his eyes. “I don’t love you anymore.” 

Your heart leaped into your throat, or maybe it was vomit, you weren’t sure, but all you could do was stare at him from across the kitchen countertop. 

“Since this was my place first, uh…I can give you a couple of weeks to find a place, and I’ll even sleep on the couch…”

You hadn’t even spoken yet, shaking your head. “Stop. Spencer. What.” 

Your head was pounding, hands gripping onto the counter to try and steady yourself.”

“Sorry.” He whispered. He couldn’t even look at you. He was just staring at his hands, almost unsure about what he was saying. 

“Sorry?” You laughed, tears starting to track down your cheeks. “Spencer, this has to be a sick fucking joke..” 

He shook his head. 

Behind the door, You were just pacing back and forth, listening to his voice, trying to erase this memory from your mind and find a new one to replace it, barely listening to the man on the other end of the line. 

“Hey, listen to me. It’s going to be okay. If you want to call the whole thing off, everyone will understand. If it’s not right—.” 

“No.” You responded immediately. “I–I, I want to do this, I want to marry you…just…”

“You just needed some reassurance. I know.”

You nodded, not realizing he couldn’t hear you nod, but somehow, it felt like he did. 

“I love you.” 

You smiled, exhaling shakily. “Good.” 

His laugh bubbled through his lips, causing you to take another breath.

“I’ll see you out there?” 

“Can you just stay on the phone for another minute or so? I just need, like—”

You could hear him nod over the phone. “Anything you want.”

Somehow, you were back in that fucking elevator. Again. 

But this time, it felt like a homecoming rather than a curse you were trying to break. 

When the doors opened, you saw your family leaving little presents on your desk—flowers, balloons, chocolate, even cupcakes from your favorite bakery. They were all so busy setting it up that they didn’t notice as you walked up behind them, peering over their shoulders. 

“Looks good, guys.” 

“You think—” Derek did a double take and clutched his chest. “It’s supposed to be a surprise.” 

You laughed and smiled at him, dropping your bag onto your chair. “It looks wonderful. You guys didn’t have to do anything for me–”

“Actually, we did. How could we not? I mean! She’s home! She’s back solving crimes in sexy-looking outfits!” Garcia wrapped her arm around your shoulders, resting her head on yours. 

“I love it, guys, thank you.” 

JJ briskly walked past you all, giving you a brief smile, almost running up the stairs and into Hotch’s office. 

“Well, looks like you’re getting thrown right back into it.” Derek sighed. 

Hotch came out of his office and smiled at you before nodding at the others. “Wheels up in forty, everyone. I’ll brief you all on the plane.” 

“Good.” 

“Just breathe y/n. Okay? I’ll be the one at the end of the altar with the incredibly well-tailored suit and those flowers you like so much pinned to my chest.”

“You’re gonna cry.” You whispered jokingly, taking in a deeper breath than before. “I look so good in this dress. I actually was crying about it before I made Emily call you.” 

“It’s like you’re trying to kill me.”

Derek knocked on your door, leaning his ear up against it, trying to hear what you were saying. He called out your name, and after about a minute, you told him it was unlocked. 

“Can I come in?”

“If you want Derek, it is entirely up to you.” 

He opened the door, tears welling up the second he saw you. 

Hearing him enter, you faced him, smiling softly at him. 

All Derek could do was take you in for a second, unable to really think of what he was about to tell you. This felt a bit ridiculous since he was there when you picked out the dress, but watching you now, ready to actually wear it for its intended purpose, was a whole different ball game. 

“You look…..”

“Right.” You whispered, walking over and squeezing his hand. “I’m ready. Let’s do this thing before shit goes south.”

______________________________________________________________

“Y/n, You are the love of my life, and I could give you an eternal list of every single moment of my life where I felt nothing but complete and utter adoration for you. But then last week, you picked the movie you thought we should watch: a nineties rom-com, obviously, with big romantic gestures and a heroine who doesn’t need to be tamed. And those two inspired me to give you instead a list of the ten things I hate about you.” 

Spencer had gotten a good look at you for the first time in a long time. He had already felt guilty about the fact that he had Maeve and that you had broken up. But what he had failed to realize was the same thing Derek had–You were someone entirely different, a ghost of yourself. The guilt was gnawing through his stomach when he told Hotch what was going on, and he had begged Hotch to let you sit out, trying to save you from this, but clearly, Spencer couldn’t do anything right for you anymore. He hadn’t been able to in a very long time. Hotch had cleared his throat while Spencer shook his head. “I-I tried Hotch, I really didn’t want…”

He just nodded at Spencer. “I know, Reid, but you must have known there was no way this conversation would go any better than that.” 

Reid just nodded and stood up, going out into the bullpen, not missing the way all of their eyes snapped to him as Penelope dumped her broken mug into the trash. 

Before anyone could say anything, Hotch walked out of his office and looked at everyone. “As you all could have guessed, Agent Y/L/N will not be joining us on this case. I expect everyone in the conference room in ten.” with that, Hotch walked past Reid and down the stairs toward where he had assumed you had run off to. 

Reid just returned to his desk, sitting and staring at your now empty desk. Hotch had fulfilled your request, letting you move across the bullpen so you didn’t have to sit next to him anymore. 

Some part of the thought that you couldn’t even look at him anymore caused his gut to lurch, causing his hearing to burst for a moment. Maybe this was too fucked up. Perhaps he had been wrong. He thought he was doing the right thing by letting you go, not weighing you down with all his own bullshit, but he realized he had failed to pay attention. 

Spencer thought long and hard, trying to piece together everything he had thought about in the past couple of months when it came to you, and that’s when he realized it was every day. He thought about you every day. 

But he had ignored you. He had failed to notice as you crumbled to nothing in front of him. 

“Number ten is that I hate the way you fold laundry. It’s incredible how you manage to fold every single item in a completely different manner. It baffles me. One of the great mysteries in this world that we might never have the answer to.” 

“So you two spoke?”

You held up your finger as you finished the prosecco in your glass. Once you finished, casually, you picked up the bottle and poured yourself a second glass, only beginning to speak when the glass had been filled to your liking. 

“He came over to my apartment, Derek. I had already opened the door, and what was I going to say—”

“How about no?”

“It’s rude to interrupt Derek Morgan.” Penelope elbowed him and took a sip from her own glass. “But he’s right, Y/n. You could have said no and slammed the door in his face.” 

“But that’s not who I am. You know I’m a sucker for closure. You know I wanted to talk to him anyway. I just wasn’t expecting the discussion that ended up happening….”

Derek raised his eyebrows and tilted his head. “Do tell Princess.”

You shrugged and took another sip. “We talked about Maeve.”  

The looks you received were exactly what you had expected, only because it was how you felt about the conversation. 

“Number nine. I hate how you pick out what we will watch each week. You just skim through every single title on every platform until the one with the right ‘energy’ calls out to you. And they’re never the same. You manage to match a film to the night perfectly, and I hate how well you can pinpoint that about me. 

“Eight. I hate the way you drive. You manage to be the safest and most dangerous person on the road. There’s nothing more to that one. You terrify me.” 

“I cannot believe you, Spencer Reid. You have the audacity to come to my house, lose at chess, and then accuse me of being the reason our relationship ended!?”

“That’s not what I said.” His voice was desperate. “I’m not blaming anyone but myself, okay? I fucked up. I know I fucked up. I just—You were so–”

“I was so what, Spencer. What about me was just soooo fucking terrifying to you that you decided you didn’t want to propose to me anymore.” 

“That’s not fair.” 

Your jaw dropped. “You’re fucked in the head if you think the part that isn’t fair is me calling you out on that.” 

Spencer paced around, running his hands through his hair. He was going to wear a path in your carpet the way he was pacing back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. 

“Seven. I hate how captivating you are. Whenever you tell a story, there’s no use in getting any work done because all anyone can do is wait for the story to be finished. If there’s no ending–I’ve watched Morgan sulk at his desk until you returned from a meeting because you were running late and didn’t wrap up the end of the story for him. Something about the way you speak, the way you capture people’s attention, is one of the most dangerous weapons I’ve ever seen on the planet. 

“I hate—oh, sorry–Number six.” He smiled at you and squeezed your head. You were shaking slightly as you rapidly blinked away tears, trying to inhale and exhale through your nose. It wasn’t working. Every word this man said made you one second closer to jumping onto him and kissing him senseless. “I hate how smart you are. It’s ridiculous. You can argue so beautifully and eloquently that it makes anyone arguing against you look like a fucking idiot. You speak four fucking languages, making you invincible and even more aggravating since you’ve decided to start learning a fifth one. You have started to beat me every other game in chess, which is actually humiliating for me, and I can’t figure out how you’re doing it. You read everything under the sun and still manage to have a life, friends, and family. I don’t know anyone in the world who could compare to your intellect.”

“Five. I hate how you steal my chocolate-covered pretzels. I bought you a whole fucking cabinet’s worth, and somehow, mine still got eaten.” 

You watched him give you a bit of a stink eye for that one, causing you to kiss his hand lightly. “My apologies.”

“You don’t mean it, and you know it.” He grumbled, flipping his page so that he could keep reading. 

“I hate how beautiful you are. It’s distracting. I can’t work near you anymore because all I want to do is daydream about you. I want to watch you smile for the rest of my life if I can help it.” 

“Three. I hate how much you care. It terrifies me how much you care about other people. I have seen you at your best and your worst moments.” You squeezed his hand in reassurance. “I have seen the worst outcomes of cases we could ever imagine, or the best, and yet you put the same amount of effort and care into all of them. It’s infuriating because you put your life on the line constantly to be able to give people a chance, whether that be to save them from others or to save them from themselves. You are the most considerate person in the world, even to those who might not deserve it.” 

This was not a good case. 

It was never a ‘good case,’ but this one just sucked the absolute life out of you. You had been back for only a month, and it was going too well. You were on top of your game. You were better than ever—but you knew the other shoe would drop.

And it did. 

You were never a big fan of getting shot at, but you would prefer that rather than have to escape a burning building. It was one of your biggest fears, and here it was, being realized. 

You had managed to crawl down to the first floor before everything started to go black. He had sealed the windows. He had sprinkled broken glass along the stairs, causing you to rip open your legs and hands as you slid down the stairs. The more significant shards of glass shredding the back of your pants. It was fucking painful. But you had managed to make it to the kitchen. 

That’s when you saw the firefighters bursting through doors, trying to contain the fire surrounding you. You could feel the burn on your skin as they pulled you out of the building, blood dripping down your legs and hands. 

You must have been one fucked up sight for Hotch to drop everything he was doing and run over to you. But you wished he didn’t because the building behind you exploded. The flames must have hit the gas line, and the house came crashing down. 

You were thrown back from the force, causing you to land on your back. Nothing was broken, nothing was sprained, but adding road rash and hearing loss to your ever-growing list of injuries was not fun. 

Spencer and Hotch, who were shoved to the ground by the blast, scrambled over to you, where you were just lying on the ground, facing the sky, trying to breathe. 

Maybe they were yelling your name or just trying to speak to you, but your head buzzed with the remnants of the explosion. 

You watched as the sky above you filled with smoke and flickered with red hues. At some point, you saw Spencer come into your line of view. He was definitely mouthing your name. 

Just then, like a wave crashing over you again, your hearing came back. Overwhelming could barely describe the feeling of shock running through your body. Your eyes widened as tears sprung to your eyes, your lungs gasping for air, and your mind flooded with adrenaline, with panic. 

“Y/N. Hey. Listen to me. Hey.” Hotch had been trying to get you to sit up. He was going through his own internal panic attack—this scene was a little too close to NYC, to Kate. 

Ambulance sirens blared, and you could hear a beam crash down and spur on the fire—” It hurts. So. Bad.” You finally managed to whisper, still gasping for air. 

Reid wasn’t sure you were even registering that you were sobbing and that tears were racing down your cheeks. 

“Can you sit up?” 

“My hands.” You mumbled. “There-there was glass…so much…” 

You flinched as Hotch yelled for a gurney. 

“I need you to try and sit up, okay?” Spencer was next to you. He was on his hands and knees, slowly trying to gain your attention. There is a gentle touch on the arm here and a brush of your hair out of your eyes. He was just trying to give you peace, a breath amid everything going on.

“Spence.” You whined, flexing your hand, wincing when a tiny shard of glass shifted in your palm, causing even more pain. 

“I know.” He said to you, gently taking your hand and wincing as he saw the microscopic shards scattered across your palm. “I need you to sit up for me.” 

“Please don’t make me get up, Spence.” You whispered. 

Hotch had moved away from the both of you, trying to clear a path so two EMTs could reach you. 

“Once you sit up, I promise you won’t have to do anything else.” 

You closed your eyes and let out a cry. It felt so relieving to just let whatever tension you had left in your body. But the thought of not doing anything sounded even better, so you slowly made your way to a sitting position, leaning against Spencer’s chest as he kissed your head and carefully ran his hand up and down your arm. 

Spencer’s entire body relaxed into yours. He had never been more grateful that you could make it out of that building before…he didn’t want to think about what else would have happened. The two of you had just started talking again. You were hanging out. He would have never forgiven himself if he left things the way they were. 

It felt wrong for him to be grateful at how much you got hurt because all of your limbs were still intact, and you were still conscious, still breathing. But he was thankful as he held you on the pavement, in the middle of the road, while everyone ran around you both. 

You, on the other hand, were not happy to be sitting up. The adrenaline started to wear off, and your body was no longer buzzing. “Spence.” You whispered to him, trying to get his attention. You were nauseous, and the world was spinning. Everything was phasing in, and out of clarity, you could actually feel the earth rotating. 

“Spence.” This time, it was said with more urgency. And it caught his attention. “I need to lie back down.” 

“You can’t—”

“I’m gonna vomit.” 

“Shit shit shit, okay, nausea is usually a sign of a concussion, a really bad one, most likely in the red zone—”

“Spencer, please.” You mumbled, closing your eyes and slumping against him, trying your best to hold down whatever you felt slowly creeping up your throat. 

“I can’t let you lay back down.” He mumbled, turning you in his arms, prepping for whatever would come out. 

Luckily for both of you, the two EMTs and Hotch had made it back over, bucket in hand, because Hotch had told them you most likely had a concussion. And god bless that stupid bucket because it managed to save some of your dignity by not throwing up all over the street. The EMTs had checked you out, flashing that stupid fucking light in your eyes, looking at your hands and doing their best to pull out some of the larger chunks of glass, and then helping to get you onto a gurney, and eventually into an ambulance to be shipped off to the nearest hospital. 

Spencer was the only person you would allow to come with you in the ambulance. 

“Two. I hate how well you know me and can read me like an open book. I have never met someone who knew me in the same way you could. You know things about me before I could even fathom the possibilities. You have been there for me in some of the darkest times of my life, and I would not have survived if it wasn’t for you. You picked me off the ground countless times, more than I could ever repay you for.” 

“And last but not least. I hate how I can’t live without you. I hate that if you’re not in the same room as me, I can’t breathe. I hate how you manage to make my days filled with comfort, support, and love when sometimes I don’t deserve it. I hate when you go away to conferences, and I have to wake up to an empty bed, and the only thing that motivates me is the fact that I know you’ll text me as soon as you’re awake. I hate how you are the last person I want to see at night before I go to sleep. And I hate that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. And when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”

You were fully crying, tears tracking down your cheeks, as you squeezed his hand tightly. You laughed slightly, trying to wipe away one of the stray tears, but he beat you to it, using his thumb to wipe away your tears gently. 

“Did you just quote When Harry Met Sally at me?” 

He smiled cheekily, handing the paper back to Derek, who put it in his pocket. “What else would I be able to quote at you? It was playing that night…” 

You shook your head, unable to stop the smile across your face. You heard him whisper, “I love you,” but it still made your heart ache. 

“Okay, Doctor Reid. Work your magic.” 

“You make it sound like I’m performing a spell or something. I’m literally just fixing your computer.” 

You snorted and shrugged. “Isn’t it you who always said that physics and magic are basically the same thing.”

“Okay, yes, but—”

“And computer science is a science, right?” 

Spencer just rolled his eyes, realizing he would not win this argument, and began to futz with your desktop. 

It had crashed on you while you were in the middle of a report. At home. In your pajamas. 

This was a practice that was familiar to Spencer. Whenever you were working on something that was not classified or very sensitive information, you had gotten special clearance from Hotch to bring it home. So Spencer has seen you write up preliminary profiles for cases around the country in nothing but your pajamas many times. 

Except he hasn’t seen you in just pajama shorts and a tank top since, well. 

He was supposed to be focusing on the desktop, and that is what he is going to do. 

“I really appreciate you coming over at like 10 pm, Spence. I really do. I’m sure you were busy, so I really appreciate it.”

He shook his head and looked over his shoulder at you. “It was no trouble, really. Besides.” He turned back to the screen with a cheeky grin across his face. “I know how you get when something breaks.” 

Your jaw dropped slightly, and you leaned against the kitchen counter. “Spencer. Are you…flirting with me…”

His face turned slightly red as he quickly faced the computer screen again. “And so what if I am,” he mumbled, focusing on the task at hand. He wasn’t sure how you managed to freeze your computer this badly, but he was determined to work it out. 

You shrugged and checked your phone, looking at the text from Emily that you had chosen to ignore. Maybe she told you not to ask Spencer over. Maybe she had warned against moving too quickly with anything. 

But you were a grown adult, you could make your own choices. You could—

“It’s, uh, it’s all fixed for you.” Spencer had stood up and was nervously fiddling with his hands. He hasn’t been like this towards you since you had both started dating over seven years ago. 

You bit your lip and casually turned your phone on DnD. 

“Thanks, Spence. I really appreciate it.” 

He nodded, doing his best to stop eying you up and down. 

The two of you stood there, unsure of how to continue on with one another. 

The tension was thick, almost like a humidity in the air that covered your skin and ruined your hair, just by stepping into it. 

Spencer eventually broke eye contact and wiped his hands on his pants. “Well, I’m going to uh…Have a good night.” He quickly grabbed his bag from the counter and shut the door behind him. 

Your hands dragged down your face as you sighed and shook your head. Maybe it was for the best that you two just stayed friends. Maybe it was for the best that you two never were in a relationship again. You remembered what happened last time. Maybe you should just finish the report and go to bed. Or maybe you should run after him. It wouldn’t be that embarrassing, considering he was staring back at you, right? 

Who said you didn’t deserve to make a bad decision every now and again. 

You grabbed your keys and slid on your slippers, not even bothering to grab a coat. You opened the door and came face to face with an out-of-breath Spencer just about to knock on your door. You took one look at each other. 

And that’s when he reached down and brought your lips to his. 

Emily reached over and gently handed you your vows.

“Fuck fuck fuck.” You whispered, causing everyone around you to laugh softly at you, desperately trying to stop crying. 

“I said I was going to try not to cry during his, and that obviously was not the case.” You slowly exhaled your lips, taking his hand and smiling up at him.

“Hey.” You whispered, causing him to whisper it back to you. “So–um. I wrote my vows a long time ago. Like, a while back. And I was looking for them and almost couldn’t find them. But I remembered that I had written them in that really small brown, leather journal thing that you got me for one of my birthdays that I kept losing because I always put it down and never remembered where.” 

The small, collected group laughed together, watching you turn the page in that small brown leather journal. 

“I didn’t know where I wanted to start when writing my vows. I knew how I wanted it to end, though. I’ve always known how I wanted my life to end and everything to go. So that’s what I did. I started at my endgame and worked my way backward. But shit happens, and life never goes according to plan. Never.” 

He squeezed your hand. 

Those weeks after were fucking brutal for you. 

Relaxing was something you were never fantastic at, so having to take two weeks off to recover from your concussion, burns, cuts, and bruises was excruciating. 

Maybe it would have been worse if a certain someone wasn’t basically living in your apartment with you, doing anything and everything to be there for you. 

You woke up to freshly brewed coffee, sometimes breakfast if he wasn’t away on a case. Sometimes, he’d be home in time to make you both dinner. It felt oddly domestic for you, reminding you of before Maeve, before everything that had gone down over the phone. 

Once the two weeks were over, he might have visited to check up on you. There would be nights where he would stay over just in case your head or back started to hurt again. It took more convincing for Spencer to let you go back to work than it did for your actual neurologist. 

“Need I remind you I’m a doctor too, Spencer. I’m going back to work on Monday, meaning two over one, majority rules.” 

Spencer scoffed and crossed his arms. “The lights will cause headaches, and staring at screens and files will only add to that. It’s a bad idea, y/n. Especially if we have to go somewhere, traveling across the country in a plane. You might as well knock yourself out because the air pressure would kill your head and ear drums.” 

“Always the one for dramatics, aren’t we.”

Spencer rolled his eyes. “I’m not being dramatic. I just care about your well-being, apparently more than you do—”

“Spence.”

“What.”

You kissed him softly. Just to shut him up. There were no ulterior motives. None. 

He hummed, hands sliding around your waist, keeping you close to him as you broke the kiss. 

That was another development you were keeping under wraps. The two of you might have decided to give it another shot. It had been over a month since you rejoined the BAU, and even before you got severely injured, Spencer had been doing everything he could to apologize. Whether that be his apologies or through his actions, he was stepping up. 

But both of you had yet to outright tell the others. Emily knew something was going on, especially when you showed up to work in the same outfit two days in a row, but she had assumed you had seen someone else, not your ex. 

You didn’t mind, though, when he took such good care of you when he bought you fresh flowers every week, when he kissed you past the point of breathing when he would—

“What are you thinking about?” Spencer whispered, interrupting whatever spiral you had started.

“What book I should read next.” 

“Liar.” He squeezed your sides, laughing softly and kissing you again. 

“There’s not much I can say about how life doesn’t go as planned since everyone here with us understands and knows how quickly life changes. But I realized that I need to have you by my side regardless of how it changes. I don’t want to be back in a place where I’m not with you because it just didn’t make any sense.” 

“My vows are short because I would never make it through them if they were any longer.” 

This caused another ripple of laughter throughout your friends, giving your fiancé a moment to wipe away another stray tear on your cheek. 

“All of this to say.” You cleared your throat, but it didn’t stop the tears from clouding your vision. “Shit. Give me a second.” 

Emily gave you a tissue, which you used to wipe under your eyes. You shook your hands slightly, trying to calm yourself down and shake out the rest of the emotions so that you could at least finish saying your vows. 

“Having begun to love you, I love you forever—in all changes, in all disgraces, because you are yourself.”

Spencer beamed joyfully, realizing you followed his same path, quoting something you knew the other loved. 

And suddenly, the stars aligned. A soft breeze picked up, and the world was quiet. 

Everything was alright. Everything was okay. 

And for that beautiful, brief moment, you had everything you could have ever asked for, and there was nothing you would have changed, nothing in the whole world that was worth the love and happiness you felt in this moment, beaming at Spencer as you both said

I do. 

“To love or have loved, that is enough. Ask nothing further. There is no other pearl to be found in the dark folds of life.” - Victor Hugo, Les Misérables

______________________________________________________________

Taglist: @gubzgirl @onlyspence @vxnilla-hxrddrugs @mynameisnotokay @kalulakunundrum @academiareid @lilsunshine1092 @brilliantreid @shqwqrma @cluelessteam @lockwoods-coat-and-reids-vests @hereforfun22-blog @yoursarahg @r-3dlips @lilrios-world @hereforfun22-blog @mega-kittyglitter-1

[shiftingconfessions]

I will be pulling a wild one here

I am shifter before shiftok and shifting tumbler and so on, I was part of the firsts shifting plataforms to ever exist, the work of my friends and colleagues are diluted and changed in many methods the community still using today, or use and not yet know about it.

Shiftok is a lie. It is straight up a lie, more than half of accounts in there are lying, take the big 10 accounts all around the globe and you will see how deeply unsettling and ego blinded these ppl are.

I will share a lil secret to shifting on tumbler, most influencers KNOW that they are talking shit nowadays. The so proclaimed creators of shittok vanglorizes themselves for creating it, but deep down one was a absolute baby shifter and the other one knew her stuff but was caught in drama.

They both are part of the first shifting community ever, started on 2017, they were warned to use their voice to spread information but they decided to blind themselves and continue their fights and dramas.

Besides that, the modern Mainstream Shiftok is around money. TikTok monetizes creators and for these creators to have a base, they need people to watch their videos

Information is freedom, and there is no way to get the proper amount of needed information on shiftok, it is a short video app, we are discussing a experimental practice on reality switching.

Besides that, people now want to make you pay for shifting info, or manifestions courses, and so on

Let me tell a thing that sadly will make sense in the future: Shifting is free, shifting has always been free and those people do not have authority on the matter to even teach it

While the community has been improving, there is a lack on the shifter vanguard, on ACTUAL new stuff and an actual understanding behind shifting. Some people shift by oversimplifying things, others by hard looking into why's and hows, both are valid but they need to correspond to each other. If a community is too complex shifting becomes too hard, if a community is too simple shifting becomes a myth.

That is the state of the community, anyones out there who wants to understand why's and how's can't even find good bases since everything is gatekept and even the so called shifters from shiftok can't even understand it or desire to share it.

Therefore creating a community that is constantly a lie, people tell experiences that don't match when being re-telled and either make sense, many have been spotted doing so. Shifting changes someone, it is a trace marked on their minds forever, to fully shift is to be forever changed. Most people are either LDs or having false awakenings and calling it a day.

Besides all that people are fighting for stupid ideas. Being taboo, race changing was never a topic in our community before it began on shiftok. You know why? Because everyone knew that infinity selfs does not mean that you are equally in all realities, we all playing roles, if I am certain race in my Dr that is not the one I am in this reality, then I won't act like I am part of the minority in this reality.

As for the hypocrisies of these people, most accounts that moved this debate was being xenophobic on Portuguese and Spanish communities.

As an extra information, If you know Sunni Method, you should know that sunni was one of the first shifters (on our understanding of DR, WR and scripting) that created and sourced so many different shifting practices and helped the first gen of the community to understand the practice. She did not only proved shifting to the subliminal communities as well define a work that would be still being used today, the Sunni method is the basic for every method. And she is afro American, and for today terms, she would be changing her race depending on the reality.

For the people that keep making futile problematization on this topic, it shows that you never fully understood shifting and created fake scenarios on your mind to source a point that was never a actual point. Minorities need support on day to day life, not whatever people are believing on determined practice.

tw: mention on self harm

As for respawning, anti-respawing are a bunch of ungrateful. Respawning made the very much bases of modern shifting. And for the respawners that belief that it should end on self harm, you do not understand how respawning work and how delicate are the structured you about to mess. If you are suffering from any mental difficulties, search professional help and not spiritual help that often leads to bad escapism.

Going back

The individual journey of someone starts on the seed planted by the community they find shifting, the hard truth is that shifting isn't only a personal experience but a collective one. In another words the community state you get, is the seed of your journey. Before 2018 people had a hard time shifting because they could not understand what it was, a few years later the community achieved a gold state with sharing knowledge and methods (which the English community would constantly gatekeek to their siblings communities btw) and after the mainstreaming on TikTok shifting went down to a stone age.

People are debating either if they can or cannot do things. In shifting. The. Belief. Of. Infinity.

I can understand why baby shifters do these questions, but I see people on this community since 2020 and the ones from 2019 who end up on the wasteland of other social platforms, asking questions that are so OBVIOUS

You don't need to know everything, but for star sakes you NEED to understand the basics of the thing you are doing, what a script is and how to write one, a few methods and your own cosmological view settled down.

Shifting allows you to mix and match beliefs like a Lego set, do it for your personal journeys using what other have found in the past.

While people are degrating the community and locking good stuff a way, shifting gets every day harder and harder, becoming everytime a godfied event and a hard and thought task that only a few can achieve, that is the mindset that is being grown on the community.

Why the hell the overall community nowadays have less and less actual experiences that the community a few years ago?

For the future, I am not sure but I bet on the end of the practice in a few years, when outsiders "grow out of it". Some will shift, others will just move on with their spiritual journey and so on, the community slowly fading.

I am not here to bring a salvation message, I am so tired, I have been making so much for the last 5 years, trying so hard to archive, share and teach people about shifting, in a way that was forgotten and locked down.

I am permashifting soon, and I am posting what I know on the community where I learned shifting in my native language, this end up more in a vent and a warning to what is happening. Do not believe me if you do not want to.

As for the people that want to understand more, I really recommend for you to dig in the past, a hint is that shifting started on amino. ik it is a bad app but sometimes gems appears. Shifting predecessors (quantum immortality and dimensional jumping) are available on Reddit to be studied (see the archives version of D.J) but they don't fully translate to shifting. (do not use the reality shifting subreddit)

And leave the damned app that is TikTok, you may be laughing for 3 seconds with some random girl talking about draco, but would be way better to be in your dr. why would you let your mind rot?

Shifting is a spiritual practice sourced on scientific facts and theories, both may be fighting a lot but a thing that they have in common is digging stuff, dig and search like never before, the community and it's beliefs are open on the internet, sometimes all you need is to answer a few questions and you will be able to find a good plataform

Your journey will be good no matter what.

Happy shifting.

.

[emojifarm]

Hey, So I'm Still in Between Jobs and Struggling.

But I might have a temporary solution while I continue my job hunt. I have repurposed my Ko-Fi to be a tip jar for my emoji servers and such as well as a place for commissioning servers from me. This can either be an emoji server or a fandom server. To clarify: all money will be going towards necessities like food, HRT, medical bills, paying off debts, etc. as well as Nitro as needed.

Emoji Server Commissions ($10):

• I'll make a server of my usual format

• Add emojis of the theme of your choosing. Depending on the theme, it might take some digging

• Add Tupperbox and PluralKit

• This can be either a private server for you and a select few or public and added to my list in Emoji Finder

• Can take me anywhere between 3-5 hours depending on how hard it is to find stuff for your theme

• If it's a private server, I'll leave and give you ownership when all is said and done

• Emoji Creators seeking someone to make a server or more for them only have to pay $8 plus an additional $6 per additional server. If the process for the initial server exceeds 5 hours of work, I will request you move up to fandom server prices. For you that would be $12 + $10 per added server. I would prefer to make at least $1.50/hour if not $2. This just keeps it fair for me. DM for further info.

Fandom Server Commissions ($15):

• I have a standard format I usually go for and will have that set up initially before inviting you in and you can say what you want added or removed. Nothing there is set in stone. And if I don't know the fandom I'll need help naming things anyhow.

• I'll add an optional list of bots, including: Dyno, Carl, Disboard & Disboard Bump Reminder, and Starboard on top of PluralKit and Tupperbox.

• I'll program all the roles for you

• I'll set the permissions for every part of the server

• I'll go out and find emojis for it too if you'd like

• This process has taken me around 8-10 hours before, so unless it's a really simple server, don't expect it done in one sitting

• When I'm done, I'll transfer ownership to you and dip. Only thing I ask is that you don't touch where I put a note that I made the server as a commission for you.

• Also, obviously, you'll need to hire your own modding staff

If any of that sounds good to you, click here to go to my Ko-Fi!

[beesmygod]

perhaps foolishly throwing my hat in the ring here about cohost developers making 90k/yr (as someone who used cohost for like five minutes but does work in software. although I'm not even close to making SWE-level money lol): depending on your stack, experience, location, other benefits, etc., that's genuinely in the bottom twentieth percentile for engineer salaries at your average startup, if not lower. especially for a "founding engineer who does literally everything"-type role. idk how much experience these people have or what their stack is, but just to guess, at your average seni-marture startup they could easily double that salary, and at a big FAANG company or whatever stupid acronym we're using now they could probably quadruple that, plus or minus whatever part of your comp package is stock instead of actual salary.

there are a couple interesting/relevant reasons I bring this up: (1) at really really early-stage startups, where you only have four guys and a couple hundred grand in the bank, having bottom-twentieth-percentile salaries is normal *because they make up for it by giving you a shitload stock options that will theoretically be worth a lot in the future*, if things ever take off, although of course they rarely do. in cohost's case, it doesn't seem like stocks and shit were part of their long-term plans (which, fair enough, not trying to say they should've been), so in theory the cohost devs were making a lottt less than your average early-stage startup devs, even though overall comp at an early-stage startup is mostly monopoly money.

(2) the other thing is that if the pay is uncompetitive, which it obviously was, then attracting worthwhile talent is really hard. again, idk these devs, they could all genuinely be very good at their jobs. and cohost was clearly a passion project for them. but it makes me wonder if *some* (not all) of their problems stemmed from technical or even positioning/market issues that having more people or more experienced people would've solved, and they just weren't able to hire them. especially since they were doing design work and moderation and other shit in addition to plain old engineering!

I guess my angle here is that unless you see how the sausage is made, it's really really easy to underestimate just how much money (and human labor!) it takes to build anything, and that most projects only manage to pull it off for as long as they do thanks to a near-bottomless supply of venture capital funding. even not-for-profit community projects (which I was considering whether something like cohost could survive as, but even then I'm unsure) rely on corporate sponsorship and free labor from people who are getting paid a lot of money at their day job. so like many of you I am not at all shocked that they're folding—easy to say in hindsight but I definitely say this coming, although maybe not so quickly lol.

but like, even most VC-funded startups fail despite having way better odds and a shitload more money. legit kudos to them for trying anyway, because the only way we get cool shit is if someone's willing to take a risk and maybe fail. that said as a *user* there's still no way I'd hitch my wagon to a fledgling startup unless I was totally okay with that wagon falling into a gulch within 24 months, because that's usually what happens

interesting insight. thanks boss. much to learn about this world that, as an outsider, seems uniquely annoying and stupid to try to navigate

[mamirhodessxox]

Too Sweet (Part 2)

Stalker Professor!Cody Rhodes Stalker fem!OC

Desc- Zoe is a 23 year old enrolled into University who is well known across campus for participating in Ballet & even auditioning for one of the most important roles of the year, but she seems to be quite infatuated with her professor without realizing he is 100x more infatuated and obsessed with her, the two grow a bond and soon realize they would do whatever it takes just to be happily together forever.

Contents- Fluff, Angst, Smut in some chapters, Use of Alcohol & Marijuana, Arguments, Soft/hard Dom, Mutual Stalking, Murder, Violence, Gore Details, Kidnapping, inspired of off the show ‘You’ & ‘Black Swan’ fingering, Hand kink, Size kink

🏷️ list: @alyyaanna @ginswife @coolpastelartshoe @greatkoalawizard @cokolin044 @kotoriarlert @alicerosejensen @bunnybot55 @adollonyourshelf @mini-rhodes @southerngirl41 @harmshake @femdisa @kabloswrld @claymoresofinfamy23 @cococodysleevlesshoodie

{~I'm very serious with you guys interacting with my writing!!!! it would make me so happy & excited, the more comments & reposts the more inspiration i have to write :) likes and comments are strongly appreciated so please COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT COMMEENNTTT the more comments the more content <3!!!~}

Cody admired Zoe’s determination, he watched her every single move despite her not knowing he knew everything he needed to know about her. Everyday early in the morning around 5 AM she would leave her dorm to get breakfast, clean up after herself, read, get ready for her classes that didn’t involve him. Every night she would practice on her sprained ankle no matter what, depending on when her practice was over she would go to a bar with her friends, after that she went back to her dorms and switch into more relaxing clothes.

She was a coffee girl, she loved her coffee, she always ate scones with her coffee on the way to her lessons, In the afternoon noon she would get some sort of refresher drink, her favorite show was either Gilmore Girls or Pretty Little Liars, often at night her and her roommate would study together and gossip or plan for the weekend, her favorite colors consist of maroon or magenta.

Some nights when she was alone she often read or touch herself to the point of overstimulation, he knows everything she does 24/7, she could never keep a secret from him if she tried.

He needed her.

He knew everything he needed to know. He was obsessed with Zoe. He realized her friend Keith wasn’t a threat to Cody & his chances with Zoe, he was just some high guy who enjoyed having fun & didn’t want a relationship.

Classes between Zoe & Cody were becoming more “intimate”. They shared direct eye contact when he was speaking, he would “mistakenly” place his hand on her thigh when he would check on her assignment.

Today she sat further up front this time but still tried focusing on the material but her own professor was becoming a distraction, once he gave the class time to themselves he leaned against her desk “How’s your ankle?” Nina scowled at his words “It’s doing better, sore but mostly better.” He smiled with closed lips & examined her choice of wardrobe, shorter skirt, a much more revealing top barely giving him anything to imagine, her hair in a ponytail with a bow attached to the hair band, cute.

“Any plans for this weekend?” Zoe smiled shaking her head as she set down her pen and gave him all of her attention “Nope, not for me at least, I have to study and stuff” he hummed listening to her words “Well I’ll let you get back to your work.” The two smiled at each-other before he sat down, moments later Nina walked towards him with a sway in her hips, “Mr Rhodes I don’t understand this assignment.” He sighed as he explained it to her once more while Zoe had a slight glare as a pang of jealousy pinched her heart but felt sudden ease “Maybe if you stopped worrying about spraining other people’s ankle’s you’d pay attention better”

She smiled to herself and looked down at her note book as Nina scoffed walking back to her desk, at the end of the lesson everyone was leaving but Zoe had been behind as she was packing up her bag but Cody stopped her “Whens your ballet show?” Zoe stopped and turned towards him “Why, You wanna go?” He shrugged as he shoved his hands in his pockets before tilting his head “Do you want me to go?” She stood there as she started to feel nervous “Words sweetheart c’mon” he teased her while he stepped closer and closer to her “Do you want me to go?” He had yet again in a more stern tone before she nodded “I-uhm- Yeah! yeah you can go, it’s next Wednesday” he smiled while holding onto her chin “Your so pretty like this you know that? All nervous & shy? It’s adorable.” She smiled softly but her eyes started lowering when both of them kept leaning closer to each other, she let out a short whine the most his lips ghosted over hers

His stare bored into her eyes until he got tired of the silence & looked back at the door of his classroom to make sure it was closed, but he needed it to be locked, he walked off for a split second before locking it completely shut before returning back to Zoe & kissing her in a hurried manner before picking her up & sitting her on the desk she sat at, the more his teeth nibbled against her lip the more his hands ran up her thigh and under her skimpy little skirt until his fingers made contact with her panties, Zoe moaned against his mouth & held onto the back of his neck until his phone started ringing, “damnit.” He hissed giving her one more kiss and a pat on her clothed clit before pulling away & picking up the phone. Zoe got herself together and hopped off of the desk before grabbing her thinks & mouthing too him ‘I’m gonna head out’ he nodded with a grin on his face before kissing her one last time.

She needed him. She needed him. She needed him. She needed him. She needed him. She needed him. She needed him.

Later that night she sat in her dorm staring at her computer as she struggled to write the essay she needed done by tomorrow for Cody’s class, she went over the past reviews but she still couldn’t find the inspiration so, she called him. “Hello?” She paced around the room & cleared her throat “h-hi! Um- listen I don’t know how you write this essay, it’s just- I don’t know what to d-“ “are you alone?” She furrowed her look “yeah..” “for how long?” She picked at the sides of her skirt “all night..my roommates at a sleepover.” Cody then hung up leaving Zoe confused. She sighed rolling her eyes as she sat back down at her desk and stared at the screen yet again for 20 more minutes.

The silence was getting to her until hard knocks pounded against the door which made her get up & open it “Oh! Hey” Cody gave her a gentle smile & welcomed himself in “writers block?” She sighed nodding “Yeah I guess, I just don’t know what to write about for this essay, this is probably the first time you will end up giving me an F” she shut the door behind her & locked it as-well as she watched him sit down in her chair “well, if you want to make your life easier, you can write the essay about the Mind & it’s consciousness, you have enough material, you have the notes, why don’t you do that? And I wouldn’t give you an F, you’ve always turned in good material of work last minute, You have straight A’s & I refuse to break that streak for you Doll” She smiled at the suggestion & nodded in agreement

“I-“ Zoe was about to speak but her phone started ringing making her roll her eyes and huff as she went to go check it, one of her close friends Mae was calling so she decided to answer “Hello?” “ZOOEEE Where the fuck are you? Alice said you might come to the party?” The girl smiled as she sat down on her bed looking over at Cody “yeah she said MIGHT, I wasn’t able to tag along I have an essay to finish by 11:59” Mae groaned out dramatically “You already have straight A’s, take an C+ this time and come get drunk! You deserve a break!” Zoe chuckled shaking her head “I can’t, this one a little bit more important” eventually she had hung up the phone call after talking for a bit more.

Cody grinned & spun around in her chair “You’re quite popular huh?” Zoe raised her eyebrow & shook her head “not popular, I just have a lot of friends” he hummed and looked around at the dorm “It’s pretty cozy in here, perfect place for homework” she smiled at his words and nodded until he stood up and started hovering over her “Do I ever tell you how pretty you are?” Zoe shrugged and started pulling him down towards her “I think you’ve said it once or twice” he chuckled and pressed his lips on hers before pressing her into the tacky mattress, his tongue slipped past her lips while she gripped at his black hair and even traced over the tattoo that laid almost perfectly on his neck, Cody was tugging at her top a bit but eventually she held onto his hands and pulled her face away from his & just laid there “is it okay if we don’t have sex..? I just- I just wanna lay here..with you” he smiled down at her and shuffled next to her and wrapped her in his arms “That is something I can definitely do.” He mumbled before pressing a kiss against the temple of her head before the two drifted off to sleep.

The next day Zoe woke up around noon-ish and Cody was no where to be found, she checked her phone and he did message her..how sweet

Zoe smiled as she read the message and decided to call him while she got dressed for the day, “Well good morning to you doll, sleep well?” She smiled to herself as she set the phone on the desk and on speaker so she could hear him “Like a baby. Thank you for semi sleeping over last night, I enjoyed your company.” He chuckled over the speaker, she could hear the smile on his face by the way he spoke to her “See you at tonight’s football game?” He hummed in agreement “Yup, wear something warm doll, it’s gonna get pretty chilly tonight.” She smiled as she tugged her tights on followed with her skirt “Consider it done. See you later” she hung up before putting a sweater on and some earmuffs until Alice, Keith & Mae walked in “Girl what the fuck are you wearing?” Mae questioned and she stood with a hand on her hip while Zoe looked at her confused “Warm clothes since it’s going to be cold at the ga-“ “you’re not wearing that gilmore girl, where are the booty shorts?” Alice chirped as she immediately booked it to the dresser and pulled out a lowcut shirt that had the university’s name on it followed by light blue denim shorts and a black pushup bra “put those on.” Zoe sighed and grabbed the clothes Alice held out for her before booking it to the bathroom getting changed.

Once she came back in the dorm Mae nodded approvingly “Tits out and everything, do you have pain still?” Zoe nodded curiously pointing at her desk, Mae walked towards it opening one of the drawers and pulled out the pain that matched the school colors before pouring some in her hand, Alice & Keiths “Put some hand prints on her thighs real quick.” Keith glared “I’m not groping her thigh bro” Alice glared “Keith do it and I’ll buy you a pack of pre rolled blunts.” His eyebrows raised and immediately started putting the paint hand prints on Zoe’s thighs with the other girls until they were finished “It’s never too cold for school spirit.” Mae sighed in an accomplished tone.

Zoe shoved her phone in her pocket and smiled before everyone grabbed what they needed & started heading to the football stadium on campus, Alice & Zoe were in charge of getting good seats while Keith & Mae quickly rolled blunts under the bleachers to smoke during the game & went to get food, Zoe sat on the metal seat & checked her phone noticing Cody’s text “What happened to being warm?” Zoe looked around her surroundings with a furrowed expression until she saw him from the stairway walking up the bleachers with…another woman holding his arm?

Her expression dropped and quickly looked away before Cody noticed she saw him, Alice noticed the sudden mood change “Hey what’s wrong?” She shook her head and pushed back her hair a bit “Nothing, sorry I just zoned out.” Alice smiled and nodded while Zoe stared at her phone watching Cody text her multiple times before she shut it off, Keith & Mae made it to the seats holding a variety of snacks

Most of the game was pretty boring, Keith kept it lively though by being a passionate football watcher, meanwhile Cody wanted to trying to get Zoe to respond to him, the girl who brought to the game was beyond irritable, she was a college faculty member who insisted on going to the game with him, what was her name again? Emily? He didn’t care to remember. All that was on his mind was Zoe. Zoe Zoe Zoe. He watched as she interacted with some guy who sat next to her friend group & laughing at his jokes, soon the laughing turned into flirting..and then the flirting turned into kissing, Cody was beyond furious, beyond.

Once the guy walked off he took it upon himself to follow the guy & snatch rubber gloves from a hot dog stand and putting them on before catching up towards the male who was smoking a cigarette near the bottom of the bleachers who quickly noticed Cody.

“Oh, Hey man you need a light?” Cody shook his had & sighed “Yeah I do actually, mind if I-” The guy nodded and tossed the lighter towards him which he caught, Cody cleared his throat & acted as if he was searching for a cigarette for his pocket until he got tired of acting & i grabbed the nape of his neck & slammed his head into one of the metal rods that held the bleacher up clearly knocking out the guy, Cody grumbled as he lit the lighter & set his hair into flames followed by his clothing before quietly sneaking away from the scene & shoving the gloves in his pocket.

“Fucking idiot.”

Manirhodessxox’s Masterlist

[hottpinkpenguin]

My request for the Peaky Blinders event: Tommy Shelby + A + B 🖤

A/n: yayyyyy my first Peaky Blinders request!!! thank you @astrangegirlsmind <3 hope it scratches the itch

Ask Me Stay - Tommy Shelby X Bodyguard Fem!Reader Word Count: 4331 Content warnings: non-canon, canon-typical violence, Arthur being Arthur, swearing, references to WWI, alcohol/drinking, implied smut, fade to black

There weren’t many females in your business. In fact, you were the only female bodyguard you’d ever met. Initially, it worked to your advantage: no one expected the full-figured beauty with the expensive silk gown and the pearl necklace to have two Brownings strapped to the inside of her thighs, or a switchblade sewn into the suede of her clutch. You looked much more the part of an expensive consort than a bodyguard, and it was a role you played well, leaning into the role of glib, can’t-hold-her-liquor arm candy. No one expected a woman to know how to slice a throat, throw a punch, or pick a lock. But after the element of surprise was lost in a market, that was it. No one was quick to forget you, and your business was only as good as your anonymity. So, once you’d worked a handful of lucrative jobs in any one area, you moved on. One town, one city, to the next. You’d crossed international lines, too: America to Ireland to England. Adjusting your accent had taken work, but it had been essential. The longer you could blend in as a local, the longer you could stay in any given place. 

Normally, a bodyguard’s dependability was a selling point, and their reputation was something they honed over years and years of diligent work in one area. You didn’t have that luxury. For all your gifts and guile, if you stayed too long anywhere, you ended up with a target on your back. You were too easy to pick out once people knew what to look for. At first, bouncing from one market to the next had proven near-disastrous for your business. Only able to take on a few jobs in a city, without a reputation and name recognition to trade on, you’d been forced to take meager, shit-paying gigs for washed up nobodies. The kind of men - because they were always men - who treated you like the escort you pretended to be. Even though you weren’t there to warm their cocks, you were there to save their hides. They didn’t seem to care much about that, especially after a few tall glasses of booze.

But then, you’d gotten wise. A few lucky hires later, your father had wised up to the importance of referrals. If your clients couldn’t re-hire you, you’d ask them to refer you somewhere. Usually to a contact in the business, based out of a different city. That suited you just fine, for reasons already discussed. Once this took off, the money started flowing in. You were able to buy better sidearms. Spend more on expensive gowns and jewelry to look the part. Your clientele started to ratchet up in status, in stakes, and in payoff.

It didn’t really all add up until one night in December, right before the Christmas holiday, when you’d been enjoying a rare evening off with your father. You’d been stretched out on the couch while he was pouring over the accounts, as usual, when he sat back from the open ledger with a shocked sigh. 

“I don’t fucking believe it,” he murmured under his breath. 

You’d swiveled your head around, recognizing the look of shock on his face as he rubbed his salt-and-pepper stubble (more salt than pepper these days, you realized) in distant thought.

“What is it?” you’d asked, bracing for bad news. Usually your father only commented on the accounts ledger when something was wrong. 

“You’ve got a perfect record, Little Doe.” He turned to you, using a childhood nickname he reserved for only when the two of you were alone, far from the eyes and ears of potential clients. “Perfect.”

You hadn’t really understood his point until the next client meeting, which happened to be the very one you were sitting in now. 

All the politicians, gangsters, and celebrities you’d been paid to protect: not a single injury among them. The countless expensive payloads you’d been paid to guard - diamonds, cash, drugs, you name it - not a single loss. Six years in the business without a single issue? Now that was priceless. 

You listened as your father made this point to the potential client, his eyebrows arching slightly as he contemplated a six year, no blemishes selling point. Thomas Shelby was a man of few words, preferring instead to sip dispassionately on a glass of Irish whiskey and let your father make the sale. You watched him carefully, smoothing your face into a mask of disinterest that matched his. Tommy’s reputation preceded him, as did yours, apparently. You and your father hadn’t been in Birmingham more than a month before the leader of the infamous Peaky Blinders had darkened your doorstep, cash in hand for a job he said needed the utmost discretion and impeachable talent.

“Your cost is steep,” he commented drily as he reviewed the bill your father had slid across the cherry wood poker table.

“I assure you, Mr. Shelby, our cost matches our service.” It was your father’s usual line, and, to his credit, he let it land with as much weight as ever. You’d noticed he was overselling Thomas Shelby - sounding a little too eager, maybe even bordering on desperate - which you knew was a reflection more of your father’s eagerness to secure the goodwill and the good referral of a well-connected gangster versus any real financial pressure to land the job. You were practically drowning in excess cash, a problem you’d been totally unacquainted with until quite recently. Thanks to your father’s astute management, savings were being made to ensure that the two of you wouldn’t have to clamor for gigs for quite a while. You doubted very much that, if it weren’t for Thomas Shelby’s name, your father wouldn’t have given him a sit down at all, preferring instead to celebrate the upcoming new year alone with you in relative peace and prosperity.

Thomas Shelby took another sip of his whisky as he scanned the receipt. His eyes lazed over the figures, then up to your father’s stoic expression, and then over to you. You were always present for client meetings, but didn’t speak until the contract was signed. Typically, you didn’t have to. All that was required of you to seal a deal was a coquettish smile, and maybe a timely demonstration of your skills (you’d left more than a few bullet holes in the walls of the flats you rented and in the Fedoras of your potential clients). 

“I assume this is your expensive daughter?” Tommy Shelby’s voice oozed with something halfway between derision and curiosity. You weren’t sure whether to be insulted or intrigued. Your father nodded, motioning for you. You rose from the chair in the corner of the room and stepped forward, giving Mr. Shelby a small nod of greeting.

“And I assume you typically play the role of what… a whore, when you’re working?” You fought down the rising heat that threatened to stain your cheeks. You heard your father clear his throat and fidget self-consciously. 

“I can dress for whatever part you would prefer, Mr. Shelby,” you replied coolly. “Most of my clientele are men of means, and a pretty woman dangling from their arm is a common sight. Makes it easy to blend in and do my job. If you’re unaccustomed to having beautiful women entertain you, then I’m sure we can reach a different arrangement.” 

Thomas Shelby’s expression gave away nothing as your sly insult hung in the air. You suspected he knew as well as you did that your words were rather empty, however clever your retort. You had to force your eyes not wander away from his, as alluring his sharp cheekbones and full lips may be. He held your gaze, eyes narrowing ever so slightly as if he could read your attraction to him. You lifted your chin, halfway between a challenge and an invitation. You wondered if you imagined a small quirk at the corners of his mouth, as if he were fighting against a smile. 

“What my daughter means is that she-”

“Done.” 

You hadn’t realized you’d been holding your breath until you felt your shoulders relax with your exhale at his words. Your father had been in such a rush to save what he’d felt certain was a meeting gone sideways that he fell short of words for a few moments, his mouth closing and opening without any sound. Thomas Shelby rose, all brusque and business-like, as he withdrew a hefty wad of cash from his overcoat and casually tossed a handful of bills on the table.

“Your advance,” he commented offhandedly as he finished his drink with a hearty gulp. 

“When’s the job?” you asked hurriedly as he made towards the door. He hesitated briefly, hand on the doorknob, and even though he didn’t look back at you you felt your skin crawl under his attention.

“I’ll find you when I need you.” 

The door opened, a brief blustering December breeze jostling its way inside before Thomas Shelby stepped out into the Birmingham night and closed the door behind him.

You exchanged a stunned glance with your father. He was sifting through the bills left on the table. 

“He’s paid the entire balance,” your father murmured in a mix of disbelief and suspicion. For your part, you weren’t surprised, although you barely registered your father’s words. You found yourself peaking out into the dark street, pulling back the curtains just slightly. Down the empty road, you could just barely make out a dark silhouette retreating into the late night blackness. Only the orange-gold end of his cigar betrayed Thomas Shelby’s location. You cracked a half-smile as you watched him vanish around a corner, his words echoing in your ears:

I’ll find you when I need you. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Four Months Later

“You’re fuckin’ jokin’.”

“Always such a way with words, Arthur.”

Tommy gave his older brother a withering glare as he motioned for you to step out of the darkened doorway. The glass-windowed door closed behind you with a heavy thud, bumping you deeper into what could only be described as a War Room. The Shelby brothers - Arthur, Tommy, and John - plus a stern looking dark-haired woman that the boys referred to as “Polly” were seated in plush, leather-backed chairs around a dark cherry-wood table. Surrounding the table on all four walls were maps, each of them marked up with pen marks, small red pins, and thread connecting points too small for you to read from this distance in a dizzying array of carefully laid out networks. The smoke in the room was so thick you wondered how your eyes weren’t watering. 

Aside from Tommy, the other three pairs of eyes sifted you over with suspicion, surprise, and no small amount of scorn. Tommy studiously avoided your gaze - and those of the others, you noted - and instead stood at the head of the table, bent over a large ledger. He’d barely exchanged a word with you since showing up unannounced at your doorstep two hours ago with the curt instruction to “pack for three days”. Aside from telling you that you were London-bound with his eldest brother, Arthur, you didn’t know anything about your assignment. 

“Introduce yourself, darlin’, we’re waitin’.” Polly’s voice was husky and dripping with hilarity, as if she couldn’t believe her eyes. You doubted she was used to seeing another woman in this room, let alone a non-Shelby woman. 

“The name’s y/l/n,” you replied, clearing your throat a bit before continuing. “Mr. Shelby engaged my services several months ago, on retainer.” 

The youngest brother, John, chuckled wickedly and lifted an eyebrow at Tommy, still glued to the ledger book.

“That so, eh Tommy? Hope you didn’t shell out too much from the coffers!” He turned towards you, raking his eyes up one side and down the other in an obvious appraisal. “You always had an eye for a bargain, Tommy.” Your eyes narrowed at his insult. He shook his head and scoffed at you. “Since when do we make decisions about protection without consulting the family?” he pressed on. 

From across the haze, Arthur roared up out of his seat, practically vibrating with rage. His complexion was mottled under his patchy mustache and his eyes were bleary with whiskey. “I’ll tell you when, Johnnny Boy! Since Thomas fuckin’ Shelby elected himself the fuckin’ king of the Blinders is when!” 

Tommy didn’t give any indication that he’d heard either of his brothers’ outbursts before he replied back in a bored drone, “since the family is what we need protection from, in the first place.”

A breath of quiet descended over the uproarious Shelby clan as Tommy’s words sunk in. You weren’t entirely sure what was so revelatory about his declaration, but you found yourself holding your breath as your eyes darted from Arthur’s precarious dance on the edge of apoplexy, to the cold glare of Polly, to John’s self-congratulatory smirk, and lastly settling on Tommy’s ever-confident, disinterested face. Much to your surprise, he shot you a subtle wink you were certain only you could see. You felt your shoulders relax a half inch. 

“What the fuck does that mean?” Arthur’s whisper shook with fury.

“You know what it means, Arthur, don’t be obtuse.” Tommy lit a cigar and gently brushed his dark hair out of his face. He leaned against the table, retucking the hem of his crisply ironed shirt (impeccably well-tailored, you noticed idly as your eyes traced the seam up the side of his body) into the waist of his pants. You squirmed at the sight, suddenly lost from the conversation swirling around you.

“What are you playing at, boy?!” 

Tommy inhaled deeply from his fresh cigar as he fixed Arthur with the expression of an exasperated parent. 

“I’m not playing at anything, Arthur. I’m trying to make sure that the investments you’ve insisted on handling are executed properly and without incident.” 

“Incident?! What kind of fucking incidents are you expecting?”

“The kind of incident that usually starts with you being drunk at 10 am, like today.”

“I ain’t fuckin’ dru-”

“Arthur, don’t bother denying it, we all know. It smells like a goddamn distillery in here.”

John and Polly watched the volley with interest and a hint of fear. For every fraction of composure that Arthur lost, it seemed Tommy only grew more confident and cutthroat, bearing down on his brother’s insecurity with a viciousness that made you realize why he’d earned himself such a reputation on the streets of Birmingham.

“I do not need a fucking wet nurse!” 

Shit. You barely missed the whizzing whiskey glass that Arthur launched at the side of your face. An impressively accurate throw for a man that both you and Tommy Shelby had written off as a messy, 10am drunk. 

The glass collided with the door you’d entered through, shattering itself and the pane of frosted glass on the door in a rain of shards. Instinctively, you covered your face, just in time to feel the stinging bites of a few fragments dig in the skin on the back of your hand. 

The room erupted in a brawl before you’d risen from your crouch. Your hand had reflexively found its way to the butt of your pistol, diving into what looked like a pocket on the outside of your skirt, but was actually a split seam that allowed you direct access to the holstered guns you kept on your thighs at all times. Tommy Shelby had been faster. Before you’d been able to draw your weapon and fire a warning shot towards the eldest Shelby, Tommy had dove across the table at him, his hands wringing the collar of his shirt as the two collided with the back wall. A few of the intricate maps fell from their perches. Arthur’s chair tipped over with a heavy thud. Polly shrieked, John was yelling and trying to insert himself between the two. You were surprised once again by the accuracy of Arthur’s arm as he landed a few well-made punches against Tommy’s face. Tommy, for his part, responded agilely, wrenching Arthur up from the floor and pinning him against the table, his free hand drawn back for a haymaker. Polly’s voice ratcheted up another octave as she attached herself to Tommy’s fist in a weak attempt to stop him. John had wrapped his thick arms around Tommy’s midsection and was trying - futilely - to wrestle brother off brother. Arthur was taunting Tommy, his meaning lost to fury-fueled growls and obscenities, his voice gargled underneath Tommy’s choking grip. A trickle of blood had made its way down Tommy’s face from his nose and was beginning to stain his shirt collar.

Your shot split the chaos clean in two. An eerie quiet descended over the scene as the four frozen Shelby’s looked up at you as if they’d forgotten you were there. The bullet hole you’d left in the cherry-wood table half an inch from Arthur’s left ear smoldered with a thin trail of smoke.

“It looks like Arthur isn’t the only one who needs minding around here,” you commented coolly as you spun your Browning around your finger in a flashy show. You’d never been able to resist a little showmanship when it came to your guns. 

Whether it was your chastising or the sudden realization of just how out-of-hand this family meeting had gotten, you couldn’t be sure. But you saw the moment that Tommy Shelby’s eyes shuttered up. He buttoned away his rage with a self-conscious clearing of his throat as he straightened his tie. He lay off Arthur, who sprang up like an animal released from a trap. He eyed you warily, but looked properly reprimanded. Without much fuss, he grabbed his brown newsboy cap from the floor, smacking off the dust on his knee, and exited hurriedly. There was a noticeable hush on the gambling floor outside, where the Shelbys’ main book-rigging operation was headquartered. You could tell that whoever was out there - about twenty men, from what you remembered upon entering - was trying mightily not to make more of a scene than what was already done. 

John and Polly both slunk back to their chairs, looking at each other and then at Tommy and finally at you as like scolded pupils waiting to be dismissed. Tommy nodded at them absently and they both left, daggers shooting from their eyes at you. You didn’t miss the note of begrudging respect in Polly’s exceptionally brief nod as she closed the door with its busted pane of glass behind her. Leaving you and Thomas Shelby alone. 

You waited for him to speak, although you weren’t entirely sure he would. He had begun busying himself with re-hanging the maps that had been dislodged by the brother-on-brother melee of a few moments before. Which meant his back was turned to you. You watched as he wiped at his bloody nose with a handkerchief, dabbing away the trail of blood that had stained his chin and neck, before shoving the soiled square of fabric into his pants pocket. 

“Please forgive our manners, Miss y/l/n.” Thomas Shelby’s voice was so quiet you had to strain to hear him. You sank softly into one of the leathered chairs, swiping away some stray hairs from your forehead. 

“It’s quite alright, Mr. Shelby,” you replied softly. “Families are complicated. Doing business with them, even more so. Trust me, I know.” Your mind flashed to a few memories of rafter-shaking shouting matches with your father from earlier days in your career, when the money flowed less freely and the gigs were fewer and farther between. 

“It’s not alright, actually. I’m rather thoroughly embarrassed by my decorum… lack thereof, I should say.” Tommy turned towards you, still unable to raise his gaze from the floor. “My brother, Arthur. He’s a… he hasn’t been the same. Since the war. No one really has…” Tommy’s voice trailed off into a fog of memories, his eyes clouding over like you’d seen in so many others who’d seen the trenches of Europe. You waited, patiently. He resurfaced with a shiver a few moments later, half-turning towards you.

“Arthur needs more minding than I can give him, at this present moment. Besides, no man wants his baby brother acting as his keeper. I thought… well, I thought a beautiful woman like you would make a more… fitting partner for my brother’s business meetings.”

You felt your neck and cheeks redden at the compliment, your gaze dropping to your lap where you were fidgeting with your hands. Stop that, your inner voice chided as you clasped your hands together. You’re acting like a damn schoolgirl. 

“I guess I didn’t… I didn’t properly anticipate Arthur’s reaction. I should have addressed the topic with him first. Privately. Not in front of family. Or guests.” Tommy looked at you, sipping what was left in John’s abandoned whiskey glass down with a small grimace.

“You seem to have a great deal on your mind, Mr. Shelby,” you offered in conciliation. “Mistakes happen. To the best of us.” 

A moment of quiet descended on the two of you. Tommy was fidgeting with his shirt again in what you realized was a nervous tic. 

“Besides, Mr. Shel-”

“Tommy. Please. Call me Tommy.” He cut you off with an insistence that was so candid it felt almost intimate. Your throat went dry for a moment, but you forced yourself to swallow and nod. 

“Besides, Tommy. I am a woman who can take care of herself.” You reached across the table to place a pointed finger on the bullethole you’d left on its surface. Tommy followed your motion, chuckling at your quip. 

“Yes, you do seem to be… rather skilled at handling yourself.”

“My talents lie primarily in handling others, actually.” Normally, you’d have the wherewithal to deliver a double entendre like that with confidence, but this time the words slipped out before you had a moment to appreciate their subtext. Your flush instantly deepened as Tommy let out a surprised chuckle, his face splitting into what you realized was the first smile you’d seen him wear since you’d met. If it weren’t for the horribly grounding nag of humiliation, you were quite certain the sight would have melted you on the spot.

“Well, skilled handler or not, I owe you an apology. I put you in harm’s way, needlessly, and thrust you into the middle of a dynamic you never should have had to see. It was careless. I make a point of not being careless, Miss y/l/n. I swear to you, it won’t happen again.” 

His voice turned raw  and dark with sincerity, his cheeks reddening with a faint flush. He ran a hand raggedly through his dark hair, a few pieces falling haphazardly loose from his usual coiffure to hang roguishly across his forehead. You had to force yourself not to sigh with a forceful want. 

Rising quickly from your seat, suddenly acutely aware of your own awkwardness and in a rush to leave, you bowed graciously in his direction as you began making your exit. “I am packed and ready to go, sir, at your order. I believe I’ll bring my things to the Garrison down the corner - that’s yours, isn’t it, sir? I’ll wait there for further instruction.” 

“Please, y/l/n, that isn’t necess-”

“I can see you need your priva-”

“I’d much rather you stayed clo-”

“I’m no more than a few hundred steps, Mr. Shelby, surely you don’t need me closer than th-”

“I’d much prefer if you sta-”

“Thank you, sir, for the job and the riveting morning, I’ll be waiting at the Garrison, as I sai-”

“Y/n.”

Tommy had tried to intercept you before getting to the door, but he’d had to settle for a gentle grasp on your forearm. The suddenness of the moment and the intimacy of the gesture caught both of you a bit by surprise. The way he spoke to you - as if some sort of internal need was pressing its way out of his body into the syllables of your name - caused your breath to tangle in your chest. 

“Don’t go.” His voice was so soft you wondered if you’d imagined it. Up this close to him, you could see the facets of blue in his eyes, like cold spring water or an early fall sky. You had the dizzying sensation that you might fall into him if you kept staring at his eyes, so you settled for dropping your eyes to where his hand was still snaked around your forearm, his grasp gentle but demanding. 

“I- Mr. Shelby, I really ought-”

“There’s much to discuss, with your assignment,” he murmured quickly, gently pulling you away from the door. “And it’s Tommy.” You allowed him to lead you back to your seat, part of your mind yelling about why you were trying to scamper away while the other half railed about the impropriety of the moment. Adhering to strict moral codes and boundaries with your clients had always been essential, no matter how heavy-handed your performance while on the job could be. The lines felt dangerously close to blurred at that very moment, but from the treacherous hammering of your heart against your ribs, you were quickly realizing that you were not very much bothered by that realization at all. 

“If you don’t want me to go, Tommy, just ask me to stay.” Another bold statement slipped out before you could grab the words back. This time, however, you found yourself plunging headfirst into the moment rather than balking at it. 

A wicked smile spread across his face as he leaned against the table across from you, crossing his arms across his chest and considering you as if seeing you for the first time. 

“Very well, y/n. Stay, won’t you?” That smoldering quiet voice again, practically making your toes curl then and there. 

“It’s my pleasure, Tommy.”

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

Okay i lied , im not cutting off yandere sources cause i need Yves to cope with the high stress.

So here's some Yves content at the supermarket

Yves pays close attention to how and where your eyes linger at. Especially at grocery or other retail stores where there are a wide variety of objects. He notes down what catches your attention first, next and last, what caused you to do a double take and for how long. What colour, what texture, what shape and etcetera etcetera. He keeps count and remembers the sequences too.

It's fascinating, your habits change depending on the lighting, temperature, humidity, atmospheric pressure, smell and loudness of the area. Even the feeling of the flooring beneath your shoes would affect the duration you're willing to look at a product.

Yves would pretend to check the nutritional information of an item that claims to be "healthy" and "organic". But in actuality, he's watching you; do not underestimate his peripheral vision, it's almost as if he has eyes on the back of his head.

He would get a small rush of excitement whenever he predicts your next move successfully, shock and slightly more delightful when he's wrong; because that means he has discovered something new about you and must document his findings immediately.

How strange, you're exhibiting signs of under stimulation despite the fact that supermarkets usually fulfill your sensory needs, most of the time, overloading you. So Yves peruses the aisles even more, letting his heels clack against the tiled floors, pushing the shopping cart slowly and observing if the extra disturbances around you will do anything to your predicament.

But no, you're still uncomfortable. How interesting, how can Yves help you? He's dying to know, but he must run multiple tests discretely to find out.

However, before he could proceed, you walked up to him and stared at Yves in the eyes.

He replaced the can of diced tomatoes back onto the metal shelf before peering down at you. Yves intentionally chose to wear one of his taller heels to create that subconscious "guardian" role, making him ridiculously tall.

"Yes, dear?" He asked, bringing his fingers to your hair, gently brushing them away from your face. This seems to improve your mood, it made his heart skip a beat when he realized that you were craving for his touch.

You told him that it's nothing, you just wanted to see him.

Now that's not true, you wanted more but you're too shy and nervous to outright ask for it.

Yves smiled, softly coaxing you closer to his side, which made you automatically cling onto him and bury your head in his torso. Yves stroked your back rhythmically up and down.

While he lets you recharge in the side hug, Yves uses a free hand to inspect more canned items, he also likes guessing what additives might be added into each product and how much of each nutrient does it contain.

It's impressive how his brain works like a supercomputer with trillions of servers, his eyes, nose, ears, skin and tongue work as the world's best sensors. Yves is actively gathering the smallest, most detailed information about you, the environment, himself and whatever he has on hand. All that, without a struggle, without any clashes in thoughts or confusion in data. All that without overwhelming himself, not at all. He's in fact, very relaxed.

You let go of him when you had enough, but it seems you're not willing to fully part from his form yet as you're holding onto his large, smooth and manicured hand.

He walks to the next section of the aisle, pushing the trolley along with him and enveloping your smaller hand in his. He noticed that you've lost interest in looking around as canned goods bore you and you would very much rather look through shelves of candy and other junk foods. Where the companies work their predatory marketing tactics on unsuspecting customers like you.

If you wanted to, you would have left him alone to entertain yourself by now. But you're still stuck next to him as he reads the next list of ingredients.

He doesn't need to hide a delighted smile from you, as you're pushing your face against his lowest rib. Yves can express his glee at your very sweet and considerate gesture to accompany him despite your boredom.

He wanted to see how long you would last before he loses your consideration. That's why, Yves kept going through each can with you inching along next to him. Surprisingly, you're durable. But you're not exhibiting signs of weariness anymore, but instead, you're simply content and comfortable.

Strange. The buzzing, blinding lights above you and him, the monotony of the labels, the droning and other bustling noises would have driven you out of this aisle five minutes ago, let alone allow you to express... Happiness for being present. This isn't usual, Yves knows. He has observed you more times than you can count in this exact setting. Everything is more or less the same: the luminescence, the air quality and the decibels that your ears are picking up.

Except, the only variable that changed was him. His presence.

He gently called out your name, which prompted you to look up at him.

Yves pecked you on the lips, leaving a faint stain of his lipstick on your kisser.

"I love you." He whispered, biting onto his tongue immediately because he wanted to say much more. So much more. But he couldn't, it would be horrific for you to learn what he sees without your knowledge.

You stared at him, confused. Of course, you returned his words of affection. What baffled you was this glimmer in his breathtakingly beautiful, smiling eyes that would only appear if you did something extravagantly sweet and loving for Yves without expecting anything in return.

Like giving him a meaningful gift that you toiled for, trying your best to serenade him with an original piece of romantic music, going above and beyond to please or pamper him... What did you do?

Yves lets out a soft laugh as he watches you struggle to contain your excitement at the prospect of receiving that reward later at home. He can feel your tremors as you hold onto his hand.

Well, whatever it is, it surely earned you a very big reward. You're not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, so you gracefully accepted the silent message from Yves.

But for now, he must buy the groceries needed for the week, and all the ingredients to make your favourite dish of all time.

He pushed the cart to the next aisle, bringing you along with him.

[headingalaxys-spicy]

Hey! I really like your stories. How would a Yandere! Alfred react to his S/O already having a kid from a previous relationship? (Maybe kid doesn't like him and compares him to their father?)

Ooooh one about complicated relationships :) Here you go anon! Enjoy <3

Alfred F. Jones is the type of man who can take things in stride. This type of situation would be one of them. He’s smart enough to know that you’d be a package deal when you became his target. He would gladly take on the role of stepfather & would even do his best to be way better than your former lover. After all, that's why you’re not with your previous (husband/wife). 

Toys, outings, paying for afterschool activities, etc., will all be tools for him to get close to your kid and build a bond of sorts. Alfred will ask subtle but prying questions about why your previous relationship didn’t work for your kid. What are your greatest fears? What's your extended family like? Things of that nature. All of this information will be used for the nefarious purpose of never being able to leave him. After all, children do take some of their parents' psychology. Alfred will observe the child's behavior to gauge how difficult it will be to manage them. 

This is also highly dependent on the kid's age, which is a huge part of how Alfred will manage them. 

(0-5 years old) Oh yeah, he has time to make your kid love him like a real dad. Manipulation will be easier since the kid isn’t working with much mental capabilities yet. 

(6-12 years old) Now that your kid knows how to say “no” & be independent to a degree this is where things will begin to get tricky for Alfred. However, he still has the upper hand. He’s already braced himself to hear the tried and true hallmarks of being a pre-teen just beginning to discover themselves. 

“You’re not my real dad!” 

“I hate you!” 

Alfred of course, won’t behave violently like he’d typically want to. He’s worked far too hard for you to be within his trap. So he can last, however, many years until your kid reaches that magical age of 18 before he will try to alienate you from them. But trust me when I say he has already begun to plant seeds of discontent meant to get you detached from your child when that day comes. 

He does end up having a lot of joy derived from punishing your kid. Things like not receiving allowances, watching television, playing video games, or having cell phone access—you name it—your child probably had it taken away. Alfred did have a conversation with you, and the both of you did agree that he should have the ability to punish your child since all three of you did live together. It is his home originally, so Alfred has a great deal of leverage. 

However, 12-13 in most U.S. states, children can vocalize who they’d like to live with. So, if you’re child hates Alfred at some point during an argument, he will shout out:

“You hate it here? Fine, you little brat, you can live with your real dad (or mom) since you’re so ungrateful!!!” 

(13-18 years old) Holy hell, will the tension be high if you’re all living together? It’s a new life change for them. This will be especially bad if the kid doesn’t like Alfred. It’s not a situation that can last for long. This works in Alfred's favor. He will push the kid to want to live with the other parent. You’ll have visitation that will start off at being every weekend; then it will slowly diminish to every other weekend, then once a month, and so on. 

This space away from your former child will give Alfred the time to tie you down with his own children. During this time, he’ll get busy subtly telling you how your kid from your previous relationship hates you. Alfred will sew the doubt about your child's love for you. Alfred will have more to stand on if your EX also has a new S/O; he’ll compare you subtly to substantiate why your kid doesn’t love you anymore.