#and then decided fuck it weve already messed it up
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Time zones
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
Iceland and Greenland get their own little paragraph. They are both wrong. Iceland claims its in 0 when it is all in -1. Just⌠anyway. Greenlandâs alright, I hear you say. They go from -1 to -5, so they just chose to all be -3, thatâs fine, right? Nope. They decided to make one little section 0 when it is obviously in -1 or -2, thereâs a -1 section in -2, and thereâs a place called Thule, very clearly in -5, which they have labelled as -4. It could have been so good if they had just stuck to all being -3, but no.
#maps#time zones#country#time#random#rant#rambles#why did i have to write a whole paragraph on two islands#like what is with that#i mean#at this point iceland is just gaslighting itself#and i think greenland did this while doing hard drugs#like who decides to make the entire country one time zone except for like 3 places#and then decided fuck it weve already messed it up#and put them in the wrong timezones#what did Thule ever do to you????#it could have been really good#but no#they just had to ruin it
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so we all know that my dreams are weirdly hyper realistic and plot driven so buckle the fuck up.
number one: everything (like, the rules of reality) was the same as real life except i guess my bf didnt exist (sad but necessary for the plot i suppose). im at thanksgiving at my parents house, which is a weekend long affair. tzp and redacted are married and also there bc they are my friends i guess. im definitely better friends w taylor than redacted but redacted and i get along and like each other. okay. the scene is set.
so, im preparing dinner with my dad and aunts like usual. taylor and redacted have slept in but taylor comes out to help eventually. he is fresh from a shower and wearing a very tight shirt. we talk while i cook and itâs clear that i need to fuck this man like, yesterday. within the dream logic, this is not the first time ive fucked around with him â this is a thing that we do. go me!
so weâre like okay, where can we go, bc i have a one story house and itâs full of family members at thanksgiving. i mean FULL. and redacted is sleeping so we dont wanna bother him, but there is literally nowhere that we can go that a family member wouldnt also be there and see us (damn you, open floor plans!!!) so what else can we do but go outside behind the pool shed, obviously.
now, it IS november in philadelphia, so itâs not WARM, but weâre making it work. i got this man bent over in a tiny corner of backyard, shirt fully off, making him see god. weve got our shoes on and mostly pants except for the important parts. hes not making as much noise as i want him to make (bc duh, we gotta be quiet), but im doing my damnedest to make him squeak, so im touching every inch of him that i can. i remember that i was thinking âi wish i had another hand to grab his hair, bc i already have one hand on his balls and the other on his dick and im not willing to give up on either of those for the sake of making him arch his back.â obviously this was a tough decision by me, but what are you gonna do. also at this point important to mention that i dont actually remember all the details, just flashes of stuff and general vibes. i was definitely like âhurry up and come man, we are on borrowed time here,â but taylor was apparently in no rush no matter how much i played with his dick. also at some point i put my hand on his stomach and could feel his abs and how he was moving every time i did and whew. that was hot.
so TRAGICALLY we were interrupted before the grand finale. i am not pleased but hey, if itâs time for dinner then itâs time for dinner. so i sit next to tzp at dinner and redacted sits on the other side and im TRYING to enjoy my MEAL but those two are definitely doing something under the table. whores.
things get a little weird and dreamscape-y here so iâll skip most of dinner but the only relevant plot point that came up is i found out about something thats been seriously irritating me at work is happening again and so i was kinda pissed. but anyway.
so after dinner all the cousins decide to get in the pool which is insane to do bc it is NOVEMBER and my parents never even have the pool open at thanksgiving, but itâs my dream so fuck weather patterns in guess. so weâre all in the pool and taylor has clearly still not gotten off and redacted and i are having a good time messing with him, you know how it goes, standard pool shenanigans but nothing too bad bc my parents are RIGHT THERE so. keep it pg. but after we go inside?? oh all bets are OFF.
now hereâs where things go bad for me. we go inside and weâre only in our towels and weâre all three looking for a place to fuck and we CANT FIND ONE. itâs only a three bedroom house and all three bedrooms are occupied. for some fucking reason we try my parents room first (which im glad was occupied bc i would not be down to fuck in my parents room, ick), but my little sister and my cousin are in there watching a movie with the little cousins, so thats a big fat no thank you. then we go to my sisterâs room which yeah, i wouldnt feel GREAT about fucking in there, but itâs a redacteds threesome on the table and if i have to do it i will. but thats where my uncle and aunt are sleeping and hes in there napping after all the pie so thats another no go. so now im pretty pissed off bc of the work thing and also pls why cant we find a place to just FUCK.
so we go into my old bedroom and im thinking this will be fine, this is where redacted and taylor are sleeping anyway, (why didnt we go there first? whos to say) this will be open and we can get down. but we get in there and two people ive never met before are in the bed. what.
so my family tends to take in a lot of strays around the holidays. if you dont have a place to go for thanksgiving and you know a relative of mine, you are automatically invited to my parents house. theres always like 5-6 unrelated people at dinner just bc my uncle or cousin or whomever showed up and was like âi have extras!â and my mom is always like âdope! come in and eat!â itâs a lovely representation of the welcoming nature of my family and culture and itâs something that i always love to see around the holidays but it is also currently FUCKING ME OVER BC I JUST WANT TO BANG THESE MEN IN PEACE!!!
so im like âexcuse me, with all due respect, who the fuck are you.â and the one guy was immediately rude (sir you are in MY BED) and was like âyour mom said we could stay here so fuck off.â and im like??? YOU fuck off?? but then another part of me is like âno, your mother raised you better than that, you need to be welcoming to people so they dont feel unwanted.â the thing is that at this moment they are in fact VERY unwanted. so taylor is also pissed and redacted is trying to calm him down but keep in mind that taylor hasnt finished still so hes a bit bitchy. and redacted is like âwhat if we just went and got a hotel room somewhere,â and im like NO, we are in nothing but our bathing suits, we are all horny and ready to go, this is HAPPENING.
so i go back into my parents room and i ask my cousin hey have you seen my mom and also maybe you guys could watch the movie in the basement bc desperate times call for desperate measures and im not gonna fuck in my parents bed but maybe the floor would be fine. and shes like i think your mom is doing the dishes but why do you need a bedroom all to yourself? and i just gave her a look and i was like come on. why do you think. and she asked âohh, okay, so wait, where do you see this going with taylor?â and i was like âoh itâs not going anywhere, heâs married to redacted, we just fuck around. itâs great, sometimes redacted joins, sometimes not, but itâs always a good time.â and she was somewhat scandalized and i was like oh right. within the context of my family that would be an objectively insane thing to just drop like that.
so anyway. after that the dream gets all weird and dreamy (there was some plotline with kamala harris i think? i think i worked for her? but she was actually also my irl boss interchangeably? idk). but thats the story of how i fucked taylor at thanksgiving in my subconscious. also i just remembered that while i was fucking him and had my hand on his stomach i could feel the outline of my strap through his abs. have a good day i love you đ
the outline of your strap though his abs is CRAZY GIA. i love it.
also where'd the strap come from, was it stored behind the pool shed for safe keeping, are you just strapped at all times always ready to bend over a gay man? (me next)
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Charlie & Ronnie
Charlie: You said you were coming to this thing
Charlie: can I send your apologies instead now?
Charlie: đ
Ronnie: you wish
Ronnie: ill be there like i said
Charlie: Time management was never one for the CV
Charlie: but youâre already more than fashionably late, dear
Ronnie: &
Ronnie: invite came from mckenna and he dont care
Charlie: Itâs not his dinner party
Ronnie: no shit
Ronnie: its not yours either calm down like
Charlie: Iâm just saying, youâve wrangled an invite as is
Charlie: youâre gonna make it more awkward because?
Ronnie: if shes not got you working the door now as another favour why the fuck are you so bothered is what im just saying mary
Charlie: Theyâre nice kids, whatever beef youâve got with your brother and the rest, I donât see why youâve got to involve them, is what Iâm saying
Charlie: theyâve not got fuck all to do with your family drama
Ronnie: err he ll be made up dont you want me to be a boss big sister
Charlie: the kid clearly has his own issues
Charlie: I could spot codependent and toxic before you could walk, donât lie to me, like
Ronnie: cant walk now so stall the starters or dont
Charlie: For fuckâs sake Veronica
Ronnie: you wanted the truth bitch
Charlie: You canât show up here high
Charlie: theyâll be terrified, might call the cops
Ronnie: showing up sober is what i cant do
Charlie: donât you think you should take a break from him
Charlie: whatever you decide to do after, you need to calm it down
Ronnie: it was you who said not to act like he werent about
Charlie: yeah, you canât pretend it hasnât happened obviously
Charlie: but that was before you shot him up
Ronnie: and after you told me to look after him
Ronnie: make up your fucking mind baby
Charlie: What would be preferable is you not fucking doing it
Charlie: really should go without saying
Ronnie: it fucking wouldnt
Ronnie: you cant hack living with me on gear how do you reckon itd be with me off it
Charlie: I meant dosing a kid, âcos thereâs no way it happened the once
Charlie: and there are options for you, for free on the glorious NHS for now
Ronnie: you meant both đ he werent a kid when you wanted to fuck him
Charlie: Not the same is it
Charlie: someone can be old enough for sex and not old enough for you to ruin their life
Ronnie: love ya for the flattery but his life was fucked before he found me
Charlie: was he using
Ronnie: youre the only cunt i know who reckons hes above it even B uses đ
Charlie: yeah because there arenât levels to it
Charlie: come off it
Charlie: the đs he takes arenât on the level of smack, at all
Ronnie: mckenna aint never gonna let you daddy him you can stop pretending to give a shit
Charlie: I give a shit because youâre a mess
Charlie: more than usual
Ronnie: i dont usually have to babysit any bastard half brothers like
Charlie: youâre choosing to come tonight though
Ronnie: i owe him after that call centre bullshit
Charlie: and thatâs it?
Ronnie: what the fuck else would it be
Charlie: You tell me
Ronnie: i just did
Charlie: Alright then
Ronnie: [show up so he can judge the absolute state of you IRL and have to make allowances for that and how rude you are]
Charlie: [we all know how this goes, feel his shame and judgment in how much work we have to do to cover up your behaviour]
Ronnie: [how offended and upset she would be that he's ashamed of her is killing me because how could he not be babe]
Charlie: [oh honey, like what else could we be lol]
Ronnie: [the real question is have you picked up on the jealous and intense incesty vibes yet boy or what do you think is happening lol]
Charlie: [If anyone would pick up on it, we know you and your possessive energy]
Ronnie: [yeah that was my thought cos he knows her the best and they have their own weird history and vibe so]
Charlie: [heâs obvs not going to talk to you right now because mad and also like !!! but feel free to do some if you wanna]
Ronnie: [gonna have her try and talk to him when Jamie is talking to Joe for obvious reasons lol but before weâre bleeding]
Ronnie: you can lord it you were right but lets bail yeah
Ronnie: charlie come ed soft lad
Ronnie: what you ignoring me for đđ
Ronnie: fucks sake
Ronnie: [after the briefest pause because he wonât immediately reply to her just gotta go into graphic detail about that OD she had in Margate before Joe got there cos he can clearly see all the self harm thatâs going on but she wouldnât have told him about this until literally now]
Charlie: [just a look like DONâT that cannot be overstated]
Charlie: why would you do that
Ronnie: can we fucking go now
Charlie: you can
Charlie: donât use your self-destruction to hold me hostage, youâre beyond too old for that now, Jesus fucking Christ
Ronnie: [this makes logical sense to be where Sophie pops up with the kitchen roll etc and then bathroomgate so all of that is kicking off]
Charlie: [just out here doing the most to cover for you]
Charlie: what the fuck are you doing
Ronnie: [because they are doing the most in that tiny bathroom LOL you can have a reply once sheâs left]
Ronnie: leaving
Ronnie: youre welcome
Charlie: yeah, you did me such a solid there, tah
Ronnie: you too florence dead caring
Charlie: you canât hack a kidâs dinner party?
Ronnie: fuck you
Ronnie: you know whats wrecking my head
Charlie: yet you canât leave him alone
Charlie: how the fuck can I do anything if you wonât do that
Ronnie: you werent gonna do fuck all end of
Ronnie: youve not
Charlie: you arenât a kid, I canât force you to sort your life out
Ronnie: yeah cos being like you will save me
Charlie: Iâm not ODâing with strangers
Ronnie: đ everyone liked you better when you were using
Charlie: you did
Charlie: and that isnât a good enough reason to be a junkie forever
Ronnie: no shit i did
Charlie: well Iâm so sorry your majesty
Charlie: God forbid I sort my life for me
Ronnie: nobody but you gives a fuck you stopped snorting lines out of every twinks arse crack
Ronnie: god forbid you shut the fuck up about it and this recovery bullshit
Charlie: you clearly give a fuck, Ronnie
Ronnie: you give more of a fuck about mckennas flatmates than you do about me
Charlie: thatâs bullshit
Charlie: you only came to ruin their night, you got mad when it werenât going your way
Charlie: you expected me to help?
Ronnie: i dont give a shit about these teenagers
Ronnie: im losing it and you reckon theyre on my mind
Charlie: Is ruining his life going to fix yours
Charlie: no
Ronnie: youve never had to hack this dont fucking tell me how to
Charlie: because youâre the only one who has family issues
Charlie: fuck you, you know Iâd give anything to be in your spot
Ronnie: if i could swap our places i would
Ronnie: i dont wanna fucking be here doing this with him & you aint even tried to get your head round that
Charlie: in what world does it need to be like this
Ronnie: the world im living in where the fuck is your head at
Charlie: why canât you just fucking
Charlie: cut him off or actually try
Ronnie: this is me trying
Ronnie: i didnt hang myself off the back of their bathroom door
Charlie: then you need to stop
Charlie: Iâll tell him to leave you alone now
Ronnie: hes gonna do that now without you flouncing in
Charlie: Iâm still doing it, you ainât here to stop me
Ronnie: hot but you still aint his type
Charlie: not funny
Ronnie: not joking
Charlie: donât be tapped, I wouldnât go anywhere near him now
Ronnie: stick your dick where you like i dont give a fuck
Charlie: yeah well Iâm slightly more discerning, tah very much
Ronnie: these days
Charlie: yeah, where we live now
Charlie: Iâm not trying to relive my worst years every weekend
Ronnie: yeah such a grown up youre having dinner with kids
Ronnie: save this little speech to pull the wool over the eyes of whatever wool homo youre gonna try and pull at the weekend
Charlie: I never said I was there yet
Charlie: better than the state of you
Ronnie: đđ
Ronnie: state of me yeah after whats just happened youve seen fuck all yet soft cunt
Charlie: thatâs the sound of me being unimpressed
Charlie: grow up
Ronnie: shut up properly by getting out of my fucking face
Charlie: Iâm going out
Ronnie: with your new bezzies
Charlie: whatâs it to you
Ronnie: youre not a junkie and youre still the most selfish cunt i know have a word with yourself
Charlie: because Iâm not jumping to do exactly what you want, no matter how dumb or shit an idea it is
Charlie: yeah, Iâm the problem, alright babe
Ronnie: you reckon you wanna be in my place so bad but you cant even hack it from there
Ronnie: since when have i gotta beg for help off you
Charlie: I wouldnât act like a dick if anyone from my family reached out
Charlie: and what help? You havenât asked for help, you wanted me to help you shit on some random kids to make you feel better for 10 seconds
Charlie: if you actually told me anything seriously, if you wanted help and not just someone to get high with
Ronnie: i wanted to fucking leave & cos i didnt its pure fucked now
Ronnie: i am my head is worse than before and you dont give a single shit
Charlie: what did you do
Ronnie: like fuck are you getting the gossip
Charlie: gossip are you serious
Charlie: âcos this either is and Iâm the shittest mate in the world or it isnât and itâs âgossipâ
Ronnie: shittest mate is right weve established it
Charlie: what did you do
Ronnie: fuck you its your fault
Charlie: then tell me what I did bitch
Ronnie: i told you we shouldve gone
Charlie: okay, we shouldâve gone
Charlie: go on
Ronnie: you were there
Charlie: yeah, and I was covering for you
Ronnie: yeah well done
Charlie: you say that like Iâm meant to know what the fuck you were doing, is my point
Charlie: i was a little busy sorting your mess
Ronnie: you had a cob on over that mess and the one im in after it is loads fucking worse so theres fuck all you can sort for me now
Charlie: calm down and stop being dramatic
Charlie: just tell me and weâll sort it
Ronnie: fuck off
Ronnie: thank christ i dont need you to calm down
Ronnie: [gonna go get messy obvs so she probably won't reply but if you wanna try go ahead hun]
Charlie: yeah, smack has served you SO well thus far
Charlie: what a great idea
Charlie: come on
Charlie: oh, the silent treatment in return, really
Charlie: very mature
Charlie: Iâll see you when I get home
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i feel the worst part of these latest upd8s is.... 2? 3? things? firstly, it's implied dave and karkat wanted kids too - jade could've ectobiologically had a kid w dave. dave was willing and proposed to her, he did love her. rose lied to kanaya and broke her trust but she also broke her brother's trust.... and dave n kanaya will probably never get to discuss that, nor will kanaya likely be allowed to be upset bc the narrative won't let her :)
Honestly? Something I hate most about the Yiffany situation is that Jade actively acknowledges Ectobiology. Like, she outright states in the Epilogues that she and Dave canât have biological children because of Bec fusion shit (which implies she was a cis woman beforehand, since she says itâs explicitly because of the fusion that she canât have children anymore), and then she admits that Ectobiology is an option.
Whatâs her reasoning for not using Ectobiology, though?Â
JADE: but i dont think any of us are really interested in having a kid with ectobiology
JADE: it just feelsâŚ
JADE: well
JADE: i think weve had enough of ectobiology for one lifetime!
So... if Dave and Jade want children... but the only way for them to have a child - which, by the way, would still very much be biological since Ectobiology takes your fucking DNA - is through Ectobiology... weâre just meant to believe that they looked at each other and went âactually, on second thought, not having a child is the better option :)â
Firstly, thatâs pretty shitty. The concept that a child isnât worth the effort to have and raise if theyâre not biological is outdated at best, and incredibly harmful to be read in something as popular as Homestuck, considering how young people were when they got into it, the wide range of ages it caters to, and the fact that a fair amount of people who are currently into Homestuck are LGBTQIA+ (aka, people who might not be able to have biological children).Â
Itâs even worse when you consider that through Ectobiology, the way theyâll have that child will just mean that all theyâre skipping is the pregnancy part of it. That child will still genetically be part Dave and part Jade. It just means that Dave didnât impregnate her.Â
Yes, I understand that Jade might miss that - miss being able to bond with a child over 9 months while theyâre growing in her womb, miss the actual act of childbirth, miss the moments she and Dave could have shared together waiting for her due date - but at the same time? If you are that desperate to have a child... that is biologically yours... with your partner... why would you not go for it?
It does bring up the question if Jade thinks her womanhood has been taken from her with her sudden lack of working womb, which feels slightly transphobic/misogynistic to write into a character who is already being badly coded as a trans woman (implying that trans women arenât âreal womenâ without the ability to bare children), but then. Why would her literal next option be to have sex with her best friend.Â
Thatâs the part that doesnât make sense to me. If this isnât Jade having a gender crisis (âmy body has been physically altered against my will and now I cannot have biological children, which is affecting me psychologicallyâ), then why does she sleep with Rose? Sheâs not even the one carrying the child. Hosting that baby inside her body clearly does not mean that much to her if she impregnates Rose.Â
So, she doesnât care if the biological child is made with her actual partnerâs DNA. This isnât Jade finding a way around not being able to bare her own baby. This is Jade deciding that she canât have an actual biological child without the act of sex.
Jade would rather fuck her own best friend behind both their partnersâ backs, quite literally encouraging said friend to cheat on her wife, than have a perfectly legitimate, biological baby with her partner through Ectobiology. In what universe did the writers think this made any form of sense.Â
In what universe did the writers think that a woman who is desperate for a child with her partner would overlook something as wondrous as Ectobiology - something that would let her have a baby with her and her partnerâs DNA, a baby that would be biologically theirs.Â
In what universe did they think Jade would view sexual intimacy as an important part of having a child, an important part of making that child biological and legitimate. When she herself wasnât born from sexual intimacy. When sexual intimacy would require cheating on her partner.Â
Even if we ignore that fucking mess, youâre completely right - weâre never going to see how Kanaya reacts to this. Sheâs been shafted to begin with, anyway; all we hear from her about the situation is that she and Rose have talked about it. Thatâs it. She and Rose have talked about the situation off-screen, and suddenly sheâs perfectly okay with the concept that her loving wife of several decades has cheated on her and kept a child secret for fifteen years.Â
It would have been cathartic to see the conversation. It wouldâve been important to see how Kanaya copes with the logic, how it affects their relationship - to see Kanaya be angry, be upset, to show any form of emotion towards her wifeâs long-kept secret. To see Kanaya tell Rose she loves her, and that theyâll work through it. To see Kanaya ask Rose why she didnât just tell her, that she wouldâve been supportive, that she wouldâve helped, and Roseâs guilt about not telling her. To see Kanaya say she would love to meet her some day, her wifeâs other child, and Rose happily telling Kanaya all about her.Â
As a writer, you need to add in this sort of catharsis for your readers. You need to help your readers work through their emotions at the same time as the characters do, especially if theyâre as loved as the Homestuck characters are. You need to let them slowly come down from the outrage alongside the characters who are feeling the emotions, to see the logic, to see the aftermath, so they can feel legitimised and find it easier to accept whatâs happened.
Instead, itâs just... sorted. Itâs already done. Kanayaâs okay with it, supposedly, but we are not. We are outraged on her behalf because she has been written to not care. Because we never got our catharsis, so we can never accept hers.Â
Thatâs not even taking into account Dave. I know, in some ways, it might not matter as much to him; Dave didnât fully love Jade, and their relationship was built on shambles. Heâs also Davebot, now - and we have no idea what he does or doesnât know, what heâs come to terms with on his own off-screen. But even that comes with its own flurry of questions.Â
Will he be mad at Rose and Jade? Will he be glad for them? Will he even care? What does he feel towards this child, considering itâs his wifeâs child? Will he feel anything? Will he see her as partly his own?Â
How amazing would it have been - or be - to see Dave and Kanaya have another conversation? Weâve already seen them talk in Meat, we know their conversations can be cathartic and good for each other. Seeing a Candy conversation between them, Dave opening up about how he feels while Kanaya admits her own frustrations and feelings... it would have been a wonderful.Â
It wouldâve been something we could compare against the two timelines, something to analyise, something theorise with, something to judge development between in a starker manner - but instead, Daveâs gone, and Kanaya is just okay with it.Â
It is endlessly fucking frustrating. Everything about how they wrote this reveal is just awful. Itâs such horrific writing practice I genuinely donât understand how they thought a single part of this was anything close to okay.
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âyou didnât have to get me anythingâ
so since this doesnt specify davenzi...... how about a teensy bit of davenzi but mostly the matteo/amira friendship weve all been craving????
When Matteo dials Amiraâs number and holds his phone up to his ear, heâs already anticipating the teasing heâs about to endure. Heâs preemptively annoyed, but also knows that he has very few options at this point and that Amira would almost definitely be helpful in this specific situation.
âMatteo? Whatâs up?â
âUh,â he starts and then pauses, blushing and rubbing at the back of his neck, âI, uh. Need your help with something. Today, if youâre free?â
âWell,â Amira sighs, âI was planning on watching a movie with Omar, but maybe if you tell me what you need my help with, Iâll consider cancelling.âÂ
He considers his words for a moment before deciding to just say it, and blurts out, âDavid is taking me to a nice restaurant and I donât know what to wear. Can you come, like, look through my closet? And help me?â
He hears Amira hum on the other end and can hear the smugness in the noise, and he gets ready to beg before Amira says, âOkay, thatâs... actually really sweet, Matteo. When are you guys going?â
âUm,â this is the question that Matteo really didnât want her to ask, âtonight? In like, four hours?â
âOh, so you waited until the day of to start looking for an outfit, and realized that most of your wardrobe consists of tee shirts, sweaters, huge jackets, and baggy jeans?â
He rolls his eyes but figures arguing wonât help his case so he resigns, and says, âYes, exactly. Please, Coach, I donât... I donât want to embarrass myself. Iâm already going to âcause I donât know how the fuck to eat in a fancy restaurant, but I at least want to look nice.â
Amira laughs before actually aw-ing at him, and she says in a much kinder voice, âOf course, Vollidiot. Iâll be there in 20, okay? Iâll look through and see if we can salvage anything from your closet.â
*****
When Amira gets there she has an expression on her face thatâs somewhere between smugness and fondness, and they do their usual handshake before he leads her into his room so she can start looking through his stuff.
âMatteo, even if it isnât today, can I take you to buy some jeans that actually fit you?â
âUgh, fine. Can you help me with this now though, please?â
âIâm, trying, habibi, but I donât have much to work with. Oh, actually, how about this shirt?â
Matteo looks over and blushes before collapsing back onto his bed, mumbling into the pillow, âThatâs Davidâs.â
âWhat? I canât hear you with your mouth covered, Matteo.â
âI said that shirt is Davidâs. I canât wear his shirt out to dinner with him.â
He misses the soft smile that Amira aims in his direction as she carefully hangs the shirt back up. He hears her rustle around in his closet more before she holds up another shirt with a raised eyebrow.
âThat one... is also Davidâs.â
âOkay, Iâm sensing a theme here.â
âA theme?â
âYeah, all the nice stuff in here is actually Davidâs.â
âWell, yeah, he dresses better than me. We all know this.â
âI know, it just makes my job a little harder. We might....â she trails off, and Matteo pops up from the bed.
âWe might what?â
âI think we have to go shopping.â
âNo.â
âOkay, your choice. Iâm just telling you that I donât think I can make anything nice out of...this.â
âMaybe I should call Jonas and ask him for help instead.â
âAnd why do you think that would be a better idea than going shopping?â
âBecause he wonât be mean to me.â
âFirst of all, thatâs not true. Second of all, you asked for my help. If you want it, we need to at least get you a nice shirt.â
âWhat about what I wore to the AbiBall? That was a nice shirt!â
âYou mean the AbiBall you went to with David? No, that wonât do. Come on, Matteo, we can go to one store. Iâm sure weâll find something that looks good that you wonât hate.â
Matteo grumbles but gets up and starts putting his shoes on, and Amira smiles as they walk out of the flat and start making their way to the closest clothing store.
âSo, where is he taking you?â
âI donât really know, he said he wants it to be a surprise. Just that itâs nice, and I need to wear more than jeans and a tee shirt.â
âThatâs really sweet, Matteo. But, wait. What did you wear on your other dates?â
He blushes again and says quietly, âThis is actually the first real date weâre going on.â
âThatâs so cute.â
âShut up.â
âActually, no. Iâm helping you so you need to listen to me talk about how happy I am for you. For you both, really.â
Matteo rolls his eyes but bumps his shoulder into Amiraâs, offering her a small smile, and she smiles and bumps him back.
âAnd what about you and Mohammed? You guys are cute, too.â
âShut up.â
âHey! Why can you call my relationship cute, but I canât call yours cute?â
âBecause Iâm not the one who begged for help picking out an outfit.â
âOkay, I didnât beg.â
âYou wouldâve if I had said no.â
âBut that didnât happen, so.â
âYeah, because Iâm an amazing friend.â
As they reach the store, Matteo quietly says, âYeah, canât argue with that.â
*****
âMatteo, I have picked out five perfectly nice shirts, and at this point I think youâre just trying to be annoying.â
âIâm not!â
âI didnât realize you were so picky, then.â
âWell, I donât like the color of that one, David has that shirt, that one is itchy, that one the sleeves are too short, and that one...I just hate.â
âOh my god, okay,â she pinches the bridge of her nose between her fingers as Matteo stands in front of her and pouts, âthis is going to be harder than I thought.â
âIâm... gonna cancel. Thatâs the only way, right? David will understand.â
âHe might understand, but heâll be sad about it.â
âFuck.â
âYeah, so weâre going to keep looking, right?â
âFuck. Fine, yeah.â
He watches Amira search through the racks, shaking her head at the lack of options. She lifts her head and starts looking around the store, her eyes squinted in concentration. She suddenly smiles and grabs Matteoâs hand, yanking him over to a rack they hadnât noticed, and she looks through the shirts until she finds Matteoâs size.
âWhat about this one?â
He stares at the shirt sheâs holding up for a moment, tilting his head. He reaches out and rubs the fabric between his fingers, humming at how soft and light the material is. He finally nods, and Amira smiles and shoves him in the direction of the fitting room.
When he steps out a moment later, Amira aws again, and clasps her hands together and brings them up to her chest.
âMatteo, thatâs it!â
âYeah, I like it. Itâs comfortable, and itâs a good color. Do you think- uh, never mind.â
âDo I think what?â
Matteo blushes and runs his hand through his hair, âDo you think David will like it?â
She steps forward and puts a hand on his shoulder and smiles softly before saying, âMatteo, heâs a fool if he doesnât.â
Matteo scoffs, âHeâs a fool no matter what.â
âYeah, but heâll be even more of a fool if he doesnât shower you in praise the second he sees you.â
Matteo grins at her, and she links their arms for a moment before yanking hers back and saying, âOh, um, I need to get something for Essam while weâre here, actually. Why donât you go pay and Iâll meet you by the front?â
They separate, Matteo tapping his foot on the line until itâs his turn and he pays, thanking the cashier with a smile. He waits a few minutes before Amira comes over, holding a bag of her own.Â
*****
When they get back to Matteoâs flat, he has about an hour before David is meant to be getting there. Amira sits on his couch as he starts grabbing shoes and socks and everything else heâs going to need, but she gets up and stops him once he grabs a pair of pants from his drawer.
âSo, I mightâve lied earlier.â
Matteo panics for a moment, asking frantically, âWait, the shirt isnât nice? Amira, why the fuck--â
âNo, of course not, idiot. The shirt is perfect. But I wasnât buying stuff for Essam, I mightâve...gotten you a little something. Or two little somethings.â
Matteo blushes at her but smiles as she hands him the bag, saying quietly, âYou didnât have to get me anything.â
âThis is kind of something that I had to get you.â
Matteo opens the bag and starts laughing when he sees two pairs of pants. He takes them out and unfolds them, one a nicer black pair, and one a regular pair of blue jeans.
âHow did you know my size? Like my actual size?â
âWell, I looked at the sizes you already had and just... subtracted a few inches. Also, Iâve shopped for Essam before, I have a pretty good grasp on menâs pants sizes. Wear the black ones tonight.â
He grabs the black pair that she points at, and clutches them to his chest, before looking up at her and saying sincerely, âThanks, Coach. Iâll send you the money for them.â
âDonât bother, they were on a really good sale. Consider them a gift.â
They smile at each other before Matteoâs phone buzzes and he checks it, his eyes widening.
âFuck, David is gonna be here in like 20 minutes.â
âOkay okay, just change. Iâll wait out there, but come show me when youâre dressed.â
Matteo changes slowly, smoothing his hands over the new clothes a few times before he feels confident enough to walk outside. Once he does and Amira sees him, she smiles and her eyes light up.
âOh, Matteo, you look great!â
He stands there awkwardly as she fawns over him. The black pants are a little tighter than he usually wears, but they do actually fit him, which apparently makes a huge difference. The light blue of the short sleeved button up shirt Amira picked out makes his eyes look even brighter, and it fits him without being too tight.Â
âWe just need to fix your hair and youâll be good to go!â
âMy hair?â
âYes, Matteo. Your hair.â
She drags him into the bathroom and wets her hands a little, messing with his hair until sheâs satisfied, and Matteo looks in the mirror and has to agree that it looks a lot better. They walk back out into the living room and Matteo checks his phone once more, and he squeaks when he sees the time and the text from David.
âFuck, heâs here!âÂ
Just then the door buzzes and Amira rushes over to let David in. She runs back and pulls Matteo into a hug, and he smiles and returns it, and when they let go she leans up and kisses him on the cheek.Â
âI hope you have a great time, habibi. Text me about it later please.â
âOh my god Iâm not going to do that.â
âYeah you will.â
Before Matteo can retort, thereâs a knock on the door, and Amira grins before rushing to get it. When she opens it, David is standing there wearing a dark gray button up shirt, black pants, and he has a backpack slung over his shoulder.
âOh, Amira? Hi, um. What are you doing here?â He asks in a confused but polite voice, and Matteo can hear Amira laugh as she says, âDonât worry about it. Have fun, boys!âÂ
As the door closes Matteo starts worrying a little, smoothing his hand over the shirt again as he hears Davidâs footsteps echo through the flat.Â
âMatteo?â
âYeah, Iâm in here.â
âWhy was Amira here? You didnât forget our date, did you-- oh. Oh wow.â
Matteo blushes when David rounds the corner and spots him, and almost doesnât process how good David looks over how nervous he is.Â
âUh, hey.â
âMatteo... oh my god, you look so good. When did you get that shirt? And pants that actually fit? Wow, youâre really going all out for me.â
Matteo ignore the slight teasing, instead deciding to walk closer so he can wrap his arms around Davidâs neck, and Davidâs hands come to rest on his waist. Touching David makes him a little less nervous, especially when David leans in to kiss him on the cheek.Â
âSeriously, babe, you look amazing. I really wasnât expecting this.â
âYou didnât expect me to look amazing?â
David pinches his side a little and says, âNo, thatâs not what I mean. I always think you look amazing. I just wasnât expecting you to get a whole new outfit for this.â
âWell, I may have had some help. But you look great, too. Wow. Are you ready to go?â
David grins before leaning in to press their lips together softly. They kiss until theyâre both smiling too much, and kiss for a few seconds after that, until David makes a noise into his mouth and pulls away, an accusatory grin on his face.
âHelp? So thatâs why Amira was here!â
#druck fic#druck fanfic#matteo florenzi#amira thalia mahmood#david schreibner#davenzi#i LOVE her#i love this friendship#thots and feelings
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a list of my entirely way too niche headcanons ive actually implemented for everyones imagination:
name options ive used and refuse to retire: david elizabeth strider (sometimes i dont feel like being a douche to others and saying thats not his name), harley davidson strider, and david james strider for the sake of simplicity
im not gonna tell yall the like. oc exes ive given him bc thatll take eighteen years.Â
i dont rlly have an explanation on the ghost thing besides the fact he just can? ive occasionally pulled from family ghost stories and experiences bc i somehow got landed with family members who lived in a haunted house for a decade and enjoy scaring me with all the stories (including the time my cousin literally died on the kitchen floor from a bronchial spasm and one of the friends that was over asked my aunt later what was up with the old man she saw in the corner of the room that night - my cousin is fine btw shes just a huge bitch and a third grade teacher and i dont like her)
whether or not hes done drugs is based on absolutely nothing besides how im feeling in that moment. either hes the designated driver and sober friend forever or he got fired from his job after doing a line at work during graveyard with some random customers theres no inbetween (this absolutely happened @ waho. if dave works at waho hes a mess of a person and thats on the diner itself.)
ok look i hc dave w/schizophrenia besides when i was 14 i had a hyperfixation with learning about it and then at 16 was prescribed a medication and had side effects so wack my therapist genuinely thought 14 yr old me was onto something and its a weird way to cope with the idea that lady put in my head that i might âdevelop it in my twentiesâ which i turn 20 this year and i havent been able to stop obsessing and panicking over the prospect so PLEASE dont come in my inbox calling me ableist im not out here all harley quinn in suicide squad with the voices ok hes medicated, he goes to therapy, the hard fast delusion that lil cal was nearly sentient and informed bro of every single thing dave did no matter how asinine it was is no longer a debilitatingly affecting him ANYWAYS
i actually use the chicken/egg farming family pretty often just because its hilarious to me to give dave like. an actual mom and dad. hes literally an uncle to like three different kids he just never visits because they make fun of his skinny jeans and he hates one of his (incredibly bare-bones ocs all of them) brothers who threatened to bash his head in with a little league bat after dave broke his star wars lego set apart on accident (but not rlly) so their parents were like âwhy dont you stay with your brother in the big city for a lil while champâ and then they just never picked him back up? and thats on favoritismÂ
the other one is that his name is actually david reed and hes the middle child of a family of three who literally live the standard golden retriever white middle class life only they went to disney land or something equally as dumb one year when dave was like 6 and he wandered off so bro literally just went âhuh free gameâ because frankly he was an idiot who thought maybe i should take this kid home because its real dangerous in parking lots and then it was too late to NOT have it seem like a kidnapping and thats why daves never had a summer job, seen his birth certificate, or gone to school. but vaguely remembers what kindergarten was like and having a pet dog and calling someone mom as a kid.Â
im not making a bullet point about his sex life headcanons just use your imagination and acknowledge the fact bro essentially worked within the sex industry and i enjoy putting dave through trauma as a catharsisÂ
i stopped doing this one usually but if he did go to school hes been in percussion since fifth grade and played the drums in his high schools jazz band as well as various edgy teenager garage bands he likes to pretend dont have a youtube presence and that hes absolutely never been shirtless in front of plenty of his classmates because he wore a hoodie to a show like an idiot. idk occasionally ill put him in an actual band he doesnt hate but keeps separate from his lil turntechGodhead internet persona (which i will ALSO touch upon in a sec) until they wind up getting looped into a tour with some bigger named band that has a show in *insert beta kid here*âs city and hes gotta come clean solely so he can visit his online friend. sorry derseasterous thats the one time weve ever run into each other and i made him have a crush on one of his bandmates i was in my anti-daverose phase where i made dave a hoe and also didnt want to admit i still loved the ship all these years laterÂ
i hate it so much but you know the whole vr loli trap voice shit that was popular a while ago? hes fucking baller at it for some reason. he did it as a joke while talking to bro and they both about shat their pants. if im feeling real ambitious, hes got a separate soundcloud solely dedicated to doing dumbass rap covers or making his own but in the voice under the pseudonym elizabeth âbethâ davids that he will never admit is his. well, he will, but hes gonna be really fucking embarrassed about it. irony or not.
talking abt seperate soundclouds and stuff ive always had it where turntechGodhead was his like. essentially internet fucking persona facade shit he used because we all had that phase where we wanted memorable urls and stuff but also didnt want to totally ignore the nagging fear of people finding you in real life, until it turned into real life ppl finding you on the internet. so he also has basically an adjacent set of social media under the same name but its just a boring username i havent decided on so everyone he knows irl doesnt mix up with what hes made for himself as TG and the people he knows as TG dont know what highschool he goes to. (this occasionally comes with the territory of ppl on parp being pissed that daves âlyingâ or âhiding thingsâ from his friends as if he was doing it out of spite instead of just keeping embarrassing tagged photos and videos from football games or when he ate shit at the skatepark from fucking with his ârap careerâ)
every once in a while i get on a kick where hes just german. like, i just replace houston texas with hamburg germany and have him apply to a university in whatever state is applicable for whoever im chatting with and it goes from there? sometimes he moved when he was little and went through the whole visa thing, sometimes he didnt go through the visa thing, sometimes hes a dual citizen because of family and shit, its all dependent on what suits the situation best.Â
one that ive been fucking with for a while but hardly break out (until recently with like 5 roses in the span of one day hell yeah) is that he has a neighbor at the end of the hall who is like a thousand year old witch lady that hes basically adopted as his mother figure in lieu of not having one and shes totally cool with it, especially bc when she kicks the bucket she fully plans on giving dave all her occult stuff so her figure-skating coach and realtor daughter doesnt sell it at a garage sale and lets it all go to waste. she also once brought rose up by name in a conversation without any prompting of her existence which dave didnt realize for days, and then one time cryptically stopped and stared at an empty space in the wall, went âshe has potential, you know.â then looked at him sitting on her kitchen counter with a smile âlots of itâ and hes thought about that weekly ever since. (it is important to note one of the occult items he leaves her is literally her own personal book of shadows shes been filling out for decades its like a 600 page leatherbound book dave has no idea what its used for but the sheer amount of homemade spells and etc in it is like. gonna murder rose the second this chick gets her hands on it i promise you.)
theres the standard strife shit? im not rlly gonna get into those theyre all basically cookie cutter bullshit. its just standard bro and dave abuse talk. i like to inclulde the whole 24hr live cam up in the apartment that definitely watches dave in every room besides his own and the bathroom, but that quickly delves into the prospect of middle-aged men stalking him online and basically sexually harassing him in his own god damn home by talking about how they can see him just trying to take his shoes off in the living room after getting home and frankly? its not one of my best takes! but once you throw it into the headcanon bin, its there forever.Â
he actually really does do something with his photography but not enough to warrant anything exciting, but he has his own branding for it and regularly takes pictures of his friends or anything else he thinks is moderately interesting enough to take pictures of, but those are just thrown into shoeboxes under his bed in favor of posting genuine shots because he wants to keep his image intact and blurry photos of jade smiling in the tree they climbed up together while bec paws at the base of it while whining isnt exactly something he wants the whole world to see.
i also pretty often but him into either paleontology OR i put him down as trying to become a mortician because he thinks handing roadkill once he graduated from museum giftshop specimens to doing his own taxidermy on the side has prepared him enough to perform an occasional autopsy and start embalming real human corpses. (sometimes i put my own desires in and make them his bc i have to project at some point and put him through the same EMT course i dropped out of bc it was one semester and he already has pretty decent first aid skills, but he definitely didnt expect it to be as fucking wild at times as it is, but whats he gonna do? get a job back at waffle house? the company hes working for just offered to pay like half his associates in paramedicine tuition and hes already got all his pre-recs done when he started for paleo. at least its a stable job and hes got the ability to be compassionate in the moment)Â
im running out of things that ive done to the poor kid. OHÂ
hes not a virgin he had a girlfriend all four years of high school (shes also one of his optional and designated exes plz keep up) and their relationship ends in one of two ways: she dies in a car accident a week before their high school graduation, or she stops talking to him entirely a week after their high school graduation until a couple years later she gets into (guess what) a car accident with her current wife/girlfriend and dies which leaves behind their daughter. who just so happens to also be daves daughter. her name is hannah and i love her like my own but no one ever likes her and thats on the conditioning of dirk. does dave end up taking her in? yes. shes awesome and the first time he takes her to the park to like run off some fucking steam she disappears for two minutes and dave is moderately terrified until she comes back holding a dead baby squirrel and thats the moment he realizes huh maybe things really do be genetic.
ok at the bottom of the list im gonna add the couple of times hes been a camboy which usually coincides with the live apartment cam thing and the amount of people in his dms calling him hot or whatever, but typically its more of a started the day he turned 18 and basically dipped around 20 in favor of showing up randomly with no warning to complain about a video game dick in hand because it gives him an outlet that wont annoy his friends bc this is the fifteenth time hes had a lot to say this week about a certain boss battle and also the comments fuel his ego and daddy issues.
the last one wasnt the bottom but literally unless its explicitly proven otherwise every time anyone rps with me there is the underlying fact dave strider was a goalie on his high school lacrosse teams all four years and (shocker another one) definitely had the hots for one of his teammates like major hots like first gay experience hots. like it was painfully obvious that teammate also liked him back hots. like one night at a team sleepover one of the other guys was like can yall just makeout and get it over with were fucking tired and dave really had the balls to be offended and ask what the fuck they were talking about while literally sitting halfway in the mans lap bc for some reason they had to share the same chair.Â
he is also guilty until proven innocent of being the worlds biggest loner outside of that sports team and even though hes literally a jock he still opts to eat his lunch alone in the hallway or something like that and has a tendency to leave girls on read, but bc hes got an in with the rest of the jocks hes basically drug around to plenty of parties and since hes conventionally attractive enough and popular in the aloof way that he is, hes got plenty of tagged insta posts and twitter directs and snapchat streaks going.Â
THESE WERE ALL NO GAME AND DONT INVOLVE SHIPS BC I LIKE TO KEEP MY OPTIONS OPEN AND THEYRE LITERALLY ALL BASED OFF RPS IVE DONE I HOPE YALL JUDGE ME ACCORDINGLY
#theres probably so many more i mean#ive been on parp for at least 5-6 years now#ive been on cherubplay probably the same amount of time#and my memory is totally shot to fuck but these are just what i know ive done in the last YEAR#or thought were wild enough to remember#i put it under a read more bc frankly its really fucking long#and i dont want this to represent me entirely#these are also heavily situational based and not like. emotion or reaction based much?#some of them are#i guess i could rename this to like. things ive done on parp#but theyre technically still headcanons a lot of them can coincide with whatever#so theyre not very specific situations#anyways#this took me an hour
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In 2014 and 2015 I did a my year in review kind of thing where I, of course, reviewed it and accompanied it with a picture from that month. I somehow forgot to post 2016 (until now) and forgot to do it at all for 2017 but unfortunately, I am back with a really disappointing year. I was debating not putting myself through the legit pain of âreviewingâ this year but I think of how I love going through my 2009-2010 posts and seeing how much Iâve grown so this is for you, successful and cooler future me.
2016 and 2017 were amazing but 2018 was my most promising year. My boyfriend and I were going to move in, I was going to start my dream job; everything was perfect. It definitely started out as one of the best years of my life! Then exactly halfway through the year everything changed and I was left having to pick up the pieces and completely restart, making it one of the worst years of my life.
I started January in Mexico, which was the best, but my family and I got home early in the month. I had quit my job the month before so I dedicated the entirety of this month to job hunting. Our friend (my bfâs bff who became mine and my brotherâs bff early on)âs dad got a boat so it was like we got a boat too because despite the cold, we lived on it. (My boyfriend couldnât go on the trip with us, which he was super bummed about (and that we had to spend like 10 days apart which was killer then), so he was the one to pick us up at the airport and he greeted me with a bouquet of flowers. Out of the many gifts/gestures he gave me, that was one of my favorites.)
February I started my amazing new job so life was back to 40 hour work weeks and not having much time for much else. I was always attached to the hip to my bf so almost every day after work entailed going out with him or having dinner with my family or his. That was my month. My favorite part of every February is Valentineâs Day and this one was as amazing as the rest. I donât even have enough space (of the allotted space I give myself for each entry at least!) to describe that day. (My bf at our Valentineâs Day dinner. We finished our long day at this restaurant (so, so cool, once popular with Old Hollywood stars) on Hollywood Blvd and it was dreamy and romantic and amazing.) Oh man, I donât have a lot of interesting things to say about March. Oh, my parents got Influenza (A/B/idk tbh), so it was two weeks of my brother, bf, and I taking care of them. My dad has a serious chronic disease so it was especially dangerous for him so it was a stressful time. Once we werenât in hazmat suits anymore (no but really, we were gloved and double masked around them and kept them quarantined), Iâd be at work or with my bf. I also started to get close with a co-worker, who I quickly became close friends with! (My bfâs two huskies. Iâve just loved that picture since I took it! Iâve never been loved by a dog more than the one in the back of this pic. Not even by my own! He has a special place in my heart.)
April was barbecues at my house or my bfâs, trying every brewery and bar around, hikes, bike rides, beach visits, baseball games, boat rides, late night cooking and baking. It was lots and lots of love and happiness and I would give absolutely anything to go back to those days. (My brother and bf grilling on Easter. This was a familiar scene, I have so many pictures of this exact scenario, yet looking at it just now made me so emotional! Stop! Theyâre just grilling!) May was so exciting! Very first day I got a new car! I was so happy! It was long overdue because my finicky, expensive Volkswagen had to go and Iâd fallen in love with the new Honda Civic (Iâll admit I have basic taste but I donât care!) so I finally bit the bullet and did it. This month my bf and I, after a long time of âoh wouldnât it be nice!â, bit the bullet as well and decided to finally get serious about finding a place together. So the apartment search started, but we soon realized our home, Orange County, was super expensive. My bf, in that âha ha jk but Iâm down if you areâ way, suggested we pick up and move to Oregon and I immediately agreed. It just felt right and despite us being the most careful and non-spontaneous people ever, we decided to do it! So we began to research, look for apartments but most importantly, jobs. (My car the day I took it home!)
Uhhhhhh, well, June hurts to think about! We went to visit Portland, where we decided weâd want to live because thatâs where the jobs were, on a quick trip since it was strictly âbusiness.â Portland was everything I imagined and more. We loved it and I think we loved playing house in our airbnb more than anything about the city. Back in LAX we came to the easy conclusion that though we lived Portland, thatâd require a lot and for our first time moving out weâd like to stay close to home and above anything else, we just wanted to live together as soon as possible. We immediately started to look for places in LA, we spent the month apartment hunting, and towards the end of it, decided on one we really liked, one he begged me to please say yes to so we can move in already. I was so, so, so happy this month but what made me happier was seeing my bf, I swear, even happier than me. I seriously felt unstoppable and was beyond excited for our future. (I had a lot of Portland pictures to choose from but my bf and I liked this one because it reminded us of Always Sunny for some reason.)
In July, everything changed. To start, I left my job. I thought, new chapter in my life, new job coming, Iâll live really far, I should leave now. So I did. My last day was an emotional day because I loved my job so much and every single person I worked with. That very same day, my bf and I broke up. For unrelated reasons to my last day, to our moving in, to our relationship, etc. We had an amazing, amazing relationship but he has a lot of demons and issues/insecurities he has to deal with and conquer, and though I was aware and was there for him and would continue to be by his side no matter what, he decided that this was a battle he had to handle by himself and I figure before he got into a more committed situation. It didnât have to happen, though. I hadnât talked about the specifics of the breakup on my blog so sorry for changing the mood of the post, but yeah, July happened and it felt like my world stopped. Really regret quitting my job now, huh? I was hit by two huge losses and changes right at the same time. (I took this on my friendâs boat 20 tequila shots in, drunk and sad as fuck. Not to get fake deep but how sad. Literally on a boat, beautiful sunset, would rather die.)
August was a blur and Iâm still not convinced I didnât just dream it. God, alright, here we go, the rest of the year is a mess so get ready. I fell into a deep depression fast. It also didnât help that my dad had to start getting radiation/infusions for his illness shortly after the breakup. I couldnât believe how much my life had changed. I started dating someone else and then I dated another guy shortly after. I wanted to replace and/or forget and I really thought thatâd be the solution. I was miserable when I was with them. I took absolutely any opportunity to get really drunk or high, and the opportunity came often so I spent most of my days desperately trying to not feel anything. The only time Iâd feel okay was when I was extremely high and I couldnât even think. Since I had a lot of savings for my out of state move, I had a lot of money to blow, which I did. I realized I even liked the feeling of the temporary âhighâ of spending a lot and receiving the stuff. Iâd hang out with any friend who offered (out of boredom? loneliness?) and even ended up on a mess of a Vegas trip. Worst month ever. Maybe. (Hereâs a positive! I like that bathing suit and my tiddie looks so round!)
When September came I realized two months had passed and all I had done was be a huge depressed mess. I no joke forgot about work. I just straight up forgot. I started to look for a new job, which hurt me so bad because I had to face the fact that it wouldnât be my Cool LA Dream Job anymore. I stopped dating. Most importantly, I completely stopped drinking and smoking because itâd almost always make me sadder but also it scared me that I had no self control nor did I care. I saw a whole lot of my close friends and they, along with my immediate family, kept me afloat this month because time felt like it was going so fast. I couldnât believe that at a blink of an eye it was night again and then a new day. Time had no mercy for me, please let me hold on. (Me at a baseball game. Tbh Iâm looking at this thinking, did this really happen?)
October started out nice because my best friend of years, who I unfortunately had a falling out with three years ago, reached out to me. Iâll always give her all of the credit for doing that. I canât begin to explain what this meant to me. It was a nice, bright shine of light that managed to shine through the dark clouds. Having my best friend is exactly what I needed. Iâm a big believer in the universe acting in mysterious ways and though I had grown disappointed in its little surprise for me lately, this was the kind I always appreciate. I spent a good part of that month with her, catching up and doing things just like we did back then. It was like nothing had changed. Thatâs all I remember about this month, and a super fun Halloween! That day was probably one of the best days in months. (My best friend Rylee and me the first time seeing each other in 3 years. Weâve had our blogs for 8-9 years so please follow her for quality content)
November was rough. I was frustrated because surely things should had been better by then. I was still feeling so low, I was going to job interviews to no avail, IÂ ârelapsedâ and had a high/drunk off my ass on a boat messy moment.. To make matters worse, I accidentally drove up on a cement divider in a parking lot and my airbags deploy, which is so expensive to fix, so my car was out of commission for a month. Then I got so sick and I rarely ever get a small cold. I seriously felt like I was cursed, even the smallest thing felt like an insult towards me. The one good thing is that since July I had been forcing myself to go to the gym five times a week. My mom said exercising was the only thing thatâd help her feel that sweet release of seretonin, endorphins, dopamine, and all that good stuff when she was depressed so, though I enjoyed going to the gym before, I did it just for that reason alone. It worked and as another result I got like pretty fucking fit. Revenge body, youâre one of the few good things in my life right now. (I literally had no idea what to choose so I said fine, hereâs a pic of the scene of the crime. Whatever.)
In December I turned 26. Which I hate, naturally. I went to a million more job interviews. Iâm seriously so embarrassed to admit that but whatever, itâs the truth. (I have a degree, experience, and an awesome cover letter..Iâll keep blaming the curse!) What kept me sane was that we had different family members visiting from the very beginning of the month. Playing with an energetic, adorable baby kept me distracted and happy. Having so much company around also distracted me (slightly, but it helped!) from the fact that the holidays and my birthday would be quite different now. Iâm one of those annoying Christmas lovers, usually at least. This year everything just happened and I didnât care. But I survived December! (I donât care. This is the appropriate representation of 2018 and how I feel at the end of it.)
Jesus if youâve read all of this.. Iâm sorry you had to read about the mess of my year but really more like the mess that is ME. Yknow those like âpeople my age I went to HS with vs meâ memes? I seriously went from being that bitch with a good paying job, brand new car, a serious, great relationship with a promising future together (Like. We would color coordinate outfits! LMAO. We would have dinners with both of our families together. We were obsessed with each other. Youâd roll your eyes if you saw any of this. I canât get over how perfect we were, itâs hilarious what happened to us.) and then at the blink of an eye I went to not having absolutely any of that, casually dating (something Iâd NEVER done) anyone who resembled my ex and sadly and drunkenly puking off the side of a pier. Who is she? I donât know, I got whiplash. (Queen of parentheses and side notes, I know. But another thing about me is... Iâve never been affected by people leaving my life. Iâm used to it. Iâve never been anywhere as affected as I was when my ex and I broke up. This isnât normal for me, my ENTJ/Capricorn ass doesnât know what this feeling is.)
Please curse that has been put on me, release me. Whoever is attacking my voodoo doll, calm down! Please! Iâve gone through enough sadness and loss. If 2019 is even slightly as bad, Iâm going to be like that pigeon I reblogged the other day thatâs like âfuck this Iâm just going to sit here.â I canât even make a cute but corny, hopeful âhope 2019 is great!â comment. Iâm literally begging you...pleading you... I donât believe in karma but after all of this shit, I better have something much better in stock for me. âGood things are coming!â I fucking hope so. Like, Iâll be even more annoying right now and say that itâs not fair that I didnât get to have the future I was about to have. I donât care about any cliche you may have for me. One door closes, everything happens for a reason, God has a plan, etc. No. Why did all of this have to happen? What can be better than the future I was going to have? I felt so unlucky. It all feels like a nightmare and Iâm just waiting to feel whole again. Oh shit I got really intense. I know Iâll get over it and life will be good again eventually but for now, I am still so mad. I would have never in a million years guessed this is how my 2018 would go.Â
So fine, Iâve accepted things now, so now Iâm impatient and say please prove me wrong, 2019. Iâm THREATENING you to be amazing!
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things that bother me about public among us rooms:
people leaving as soon as the match starts because they didnt get imposter (at least I'm assuming thats what it is? it could just be they werent vibing with the settings and didnt notice until then which is fair)
people leaving in the middle of a match (I understand people might have things come up, but the worst thing is when weve already voted, and then people decide to leave and we end up with 6 or 5)
also one imposter leaving when they get voted out, leaving the other to basically do everything (even if I'm a crewmate its still really rude; like in today's last match I was imposter, messed up and got voted out, and was (I hope) one of the resons the other got us the win (they were great ^.^))
and done even get me started on people leavung at the first sign of being sussed
like
for one thats leaving the other imposter high and dry
but second
can we just?? enjoy voting you out?? n then we probably end up skipping cause we dont know what to do and its kind-of a waste of time
and speaking of wastes of time
people clowning around
"oh let me call an emergency meeting at the start of the game just because; something so unproductive its actually counter-productive"
"oh me and this other person are impostors" (either just saying that or saying they have hacks or smth)
and "third impostor" might maybe be tolerable sometimes?
but do not fucking walk over a dead body that you and I both know youve seen if youre a crewmate
also the people always saying "start" in chat like honey I get it I really do but for one having a little bit of time (maybe 15-30 seconds) to chat between games is kinda fun sometimes, and for two the host might be doing smth?? like even if they aren't changing settings they might have smth they need to do real quick
and ofc cant forget those people that just.. say obscene things before getting voted out/leaving
public among us sure is an experience
#hot take maybe but they should add a rules borad or smth to the room that the host can edit#cause i cannot keep posting stuff in chat after every round#especially considering some people will just leave if the host doesnt start the next match in like 5 seconds#again they have their reasons but i would love a rules board
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cancerfreak69:
So, last night, I was getting ready to go out with my boyfriend to a dance at my school (which was cancelled due to lack of ticket sales) and, I had a nice black vest and a nice white shirt, and my uncle had just came home the other day from the mine (my uncle is homophobic and he has abused me many times throughout my child hood) and when I had came out of my room to show my memere how nice I looked, my uncle was in the room that i thought my grandma/memere would be in (she was downstairs doing laundry), and he asked me why I wasnt wearing a dress. my memere and dad both know that I am transgendered and they respect that, however, my uncle does not, and he did not know. so I decided to sit down and tell him the truth. he listened carefully and quietlly through all of it, but at the end of my explanation he had said, âI didnât raise you to be fucked up.â I agreed, I am a huge mess, I have been for years, but my sexuality and gender identity is not a fuck up, so I argued with him. he got to a point where, after so many months of piece, he slapped me. and threw me to the ground and kicked me in the stomach, of course I had puked, and it hurt, a lot. he grabbed me by the shirt and asked me, âare you a girlâ, I said no, my sex is female, but my gender is male..and he dragged me to his room. he once had a big dog, and he made that dog wear an eletrical dog collar, and weve always kept it in his room, because we dont need it (my uncle killed the dog), he threw me onto the bed and said,â ill ask you one more time, are you a girlâ I said no. held grabbed my wrist, and held onto it tightly, I have a bruise from how tight he was grabbing it, and he pulled out the dog collar, threw me back onto the bed, sat on me, and put the collar on me⌠then he began yelling, are you a girl, you are a girl, are you a girl, you are a girl, and my response of course was no, no, no, I am male, I am male. whenever I said that, he would shock me, and it was /hell/. I was screaming, which only caused the shocks to get worse and worse, and then he said, âdo you want to find out how faggots have sex!?â of course I already know this, but still I said no no no no stop stop stop. my memere had finally heard me and came rushing to the bedroom, and tried to make my uncle stop, but he pushed her down, and thanked god she was okay.. since shes very fragile and all. she then ran back to the stairs to call up my dad, and oh boy did he run. he ran up stairs and shoved my uncle away from me and started fighting with him, yelling, punching, kicking, and such so on. my memere got the collar off of me and brought me into her room, and after my dad and uncle were done fighting, my uncle had grabbed the things he needed and left, shouting a few insults at us. we called the police today, but they cant find him. we dont have money for a lawyer, all we have is a counsellor, im not going to ask for money, all I ask for is support. I dont know what this will do, but please spread this around, this has affected me and family members greatly. I was taken to a hospital today to check if there was any damage on my insides that we dont know of and thankfully there was no damage, just scarring, emotionally and physically. i had a horrifying nightmare relating to this as well. If you have abused somebody, raped somebody, insulted somebody, in any way possible, I hope this can somehow change your way of heart, and realize how much this can horrify a person, and ruin their lives. it made my life 97x worse than it already is.
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ACT OMEGA PART 17
THEÂ 04/02/17 UPDATE
Welcome to the... sixth update today? I hope this isnât getting excessive. It probably is. OH WELL, i dont care. lets just hurry this up and GET ON WITH THIS SINGLE PAGE.
80%, huurrry up. I just realized, these updates are a LONG while apart, so this download probably is meant to represent how LONG theyâd have to wait. Thereâs a flash for the 100th page, so im gonna assume thats what was eating up their time.
PLugging something in. Also, I just wanna mention how perfect Roseâs sassy pose is. Johnâs explaining more shit with Karkat, and DADâs watching over appropriately.
Oh. Kanaya looks upset about something (could it be how rose was totally checkin jade out). Dirk looks confused, or just kinda like everybodyâs missing something he thinks is obvious. Jade seems content. Jake is looking kinda insecure. Terezi still seems bothered by Vriskaâs absense. Roxy and Calliope are smiling next to Daveâs neutral self. and OH. Looks like Hal plugged in the audio, because now we get to see a pesterlog!
or... bunnylog
JOHN: are we all good? JOHN: is that everything? DIRK: I really fucking hope so. JADE: yes, john JADE: thats everything
GOOD NOW GO GO GO!!!
JOHN: so i can finally, FINALLY open the stupid door? ROSE: Yes, again, John. The stupid door is yours for the opening. JOHN: anyone have any issues with the plan? TEREZI: W3 JUST T4LK3D 4BOUT 1T PR3TTY 3XT3NS1V3LY TEREZI: 1F SO TH3N TEREZI: TOUGH SH1T, 1 S4Y JOHN: so we're even good on all the weird ectobiology stuff?? KANAYA: I Reserve The Right To Alter My Stance On That At Any Time KANAYA: Though Not Necessarily Right Now
Hmm.. did Kanaya not want to use ectobiology for baby stuff? Or maybe she finds the mixing genes thing to be odd. Maybe she wanted to make babyâs the old fashioned way with rose ( ͥ° ÍĘ ÍĄÂ°)
lenny looks weird on tumblr.
KARKAT: EXCUSE ME, *I* RESERVE THAT SAME RIGHT. KARKAT: BECAUSE APPARENTLY IâVE BEEN IMPLICATED IN THAT MESS SOMEHOW? KANAYA: Yes Precisely JOHN: thatâs fine, i guess? JOHN: we have everything we need for that no matter what you decide, anyway. JOHN: earth is all de-flooded for sure, right jade? JADE: yeah! like i said before, i can even see my island back above sea level! JADE: or, rather, jakes island JAKE: Youre welcome to share it with me. JAKE: If you want. JAKE: Though i presume its somewhat different from the version you grew up on... JADE: aw! thanks, jake JADE: well see JADE: i definitely want to at least see the changes up close!
That could be awkward though! Jake doesnât seem to be a people person, annnd... Well, Jade only just met him. Would it really be that great to live with somebody youâve only just met? even if he is your grandpa. I just realized, the person Jake got along with the best was Tavros. And in another universe... Tavros fucking murdered Jake. Irony.
DAVE: i cant believe that reverse noahs ark scheme worked DAVE: well actually i can DAVE: this game would be in need of some serious balancing if it wasnt permissible by virtue of kicking so much ass DAVE: i mean think about it DAVE: were like DAVE: actually gods DAVE: and we just congregated on this circular platform and discussed how wed shape an entire civilization DAVE: except instead of taking six days we all had a quick thirty minute powwow and decided yeah this is probably good enough lets skip to the sabbath already DAVE: so maybe more like zeus and his pantheon on mt olympus or whatever
Dave dont get a god complex. thats all i have to say.
ROXY: lol ROXY: weve still got a long way to go before were all like ROXY: greco-roman levels of omnipodouche ROXY: though i bet that jade n i could def construct a marble palace 4 u john ROXY: on top of some ridiculously tall mountain ROXY: from which u can rule the skies and shoot lightning bolts from ur fingertips at pesky disobedient ectobabies
Yes, Jade and her need to build it together (I need some version of Jade Lalonde to come true dammit im sorry.)
JOHN: that sounds cool and all, but... JOHN: even if i could smite people, i donât think i would! JOHN: iâd rather just get inside peopleâs heads and talk shit. JOHN: mwahahaha.
Ok yep youre adorable John, but now IM REALIZING YOU STILL HAVENT GONE THROUGH THE DOOR HURRY U P.
JADE: how diabolical! JADE: no palace for you, then JOHN: damn. JOHN: how about a dungeon? JADE: maaaaaybe :P CALLIOPE: oh! i think i know what stories yoUâre referring to! CALLIOPE: it does seem apropos, doesnât it. CALLIOPE: does this mean that i have a place among the rest of yoU at the oUtset of this odyssey? ROXY: ofc it does! ROXY: ur like ROXY: an integral part! JANE: You know what? Callie, do you still have the book we were writing in earlier? CALLIOPE: Um. i think so. JANE: I think it would be perfect if you were our official scribe! JANE: You could keep record of everything so these important moments are preserved for future generations. CALLIOPE: !!! :U CALLIOPE: i woUld love that! ROSE: I did something somewhat similar over the course of the last three years. ROSE: Itâs fairly therapeutic. CALLIOPE: oh? CALLIOPE: i might be a bit more aware of what yoUâre referring to than yoU know. ~_u CALLIOPE: therapUtic is right. ROSE: ... ROSE: If Iâm understanding you correctly. ROSE: You and I are going to need to chat. ROSE: Specifically about private things that are best left out of the clutches of the impressionable coming ages. ROSE: Or, better yet, forgotten altogether. KANAYA: (I Disagree) ROSE: (Kanaya!) KANAYA: (Heh)
UGhh, you guys need to stop being cUTE AND OPEN THE DOOR.
IM sorry, how can I not get anxious when theres a fucking flash coming up, and everybodyâs acting all happy.. .
CALLIOPE: of coUrse! CALLIOPE: thoUgh... no promises! CALLIOPE: i can hardly wait to get started on all this! DIRK: Yeah. I for one, would love to see myself in a history book. DIRK: Nothing better to stroke your own ego. DIRK: But in order for any of that to happen. DIRK: We should probably, you know. DIRK: Get on with it.
Thank you Dirk, listen to him he knows whatâs up. This game is nothing but disaster after disaster, but most disasters come when everybodys being STUPID. so use your brains and open the door before somehow you all die due to a session in your new universe having such a powerful prototype ring that their queen and/or jack manages to get to your session and fuck you all up.
JOHN: oh. JOHN: yeah, youâre right. JOHN: damn it, we got side tracked again! TEREZI: W3LL 1F YOU DONT W4NT 1T TO H4PP3N 4G41N TEREZI: M4YB3 YOU SHOULD JUST OP3N TH3 STUP1D DOOR 4LR34DY! KARKAT: AND DO IT QUICKLY. NO DRAWING IT OUT! JOHN: okay, iâm opening it! JOHN: the moment weâve all been waiting for-- KARKAT: WHAT DID I *JUST* SAY? JOHN: hehe! sorry, couldnât resist. JOHN: for real this time. JOHN: here goes!
Here, FUCKIN GOES!
ughh theyre all gonna die... I guess weâll see on the next update, so STAY TUNED FOLKS
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clea and nick and a very confusing two day argument @nickatnightwalker
[during daisyâs 420 dash shenanigans]
bythepowerof4nnnno dont encourage her this is bad
nickatnightwalkerim encouraging her to be distracted byh being queen of something clea
bythepowerof4noooooo i dont think its gonna work like that shell just try harder
or maybe not i dontt fucking know i dont know anything
nickatnightwalkersame my guy but it was a chance i was willing to take on behalf of all of us
bythepowerof4ok sure great fingers crossed whatEVER
we are all sooo super grateful
nickatnightwalkeroh this is worse
bythepowerof4that wasnnt even a goov fucking burn
bythepowerof4that was so LAME and she thinks she s so SMART and i hate her
and i dont wanna talk about it actually how are you
nickatnightwalkeri am
dying
bythepowerof4Great
nickatnightwalkeri would have gray hair by now if it were possible for me to have melanin
bythepowerof4youre not helping though!!!!! uoure engaging!!!!!
noo ok not my business
this is meant to be chill i want to be chill
nickatnightwalkerjus wait till the bowl goes around again
nickatnightwalkeri was trying to distract her you kmnow thats the only way to stop the daisymobile
bythepowerof4thats not fair you know thats not fair
nickatnightwalkerwhat waiting for the bowl or the daisymobile
bythepowerof4Both duh
nickatnightwalkeryes i know, and, also unfair that this is happening on 420 day or our lord and savior snoop
bythepowerof4its not fair that we have to deal with this whether it happens or not wee could just like walk away from the weird passive aggressive blogging ccrcle right now if we so chose
yeah????
because this isnt FUN nickolas it is not
nickatnightwalkeri personally am having a loads of fun messing with ines
you have to dea l with everything when it happens so this is just a thign
bythepowerof4oh cool great youre just as bad fantastic news
nickatnightwalkerok i did no t and have not publicly read anybody out yet to date
i only do that privatley and only when it suits me
bythepowerof4:/
://////
bythepowerof4look at u ur being a dick right niw!!!!
nickatnightwalkeroh what to ines
im screwing with her
shes trying to fight me
bythepowerof4because this is soo the best way to deal with that sort of situation
nickatnightwalkerits just funny idk why shes getting all snaked out of shape
bythepowerof4"hot" you dick????
Youre both being gross now stop it!!!
nickatnightwalkera joke
a JOKE
shes a lesiabn
also just like
no
bythepowerof4its not FUNNY nick
neither of you are funny its weird and annoying and embarrassing
nickatnightwalkershe wants ot punch me bc i sias d bite me
i dondt really feel like imobligagated to take her seriously anymore
besides shes a shit so no t only is it funny to watch her blow a gasket over the same google image snatched pic i also like pissing her off
bythepowerof4u arent obligated to fight w her either but ur doing that,, a lot
idk
Im not making sense
nickatnightwalkerthis is brely a fight
[nothing until nick sends the photo]
bythepowerof4im not mad at you and im not mad at her so can you not tag team revenge for once in your fucking life
we're having an almost genuine conversation for once without you interjecting to make fun of me and pretend play matchmaker for shits and giggles so can you please, please cut it out
nickatnightwalkerim not making fun of you
nickatnightwalkerif i was making fun of you itd be a lot meaner
you should be flattered i even considereed encourragign you to go for daisy
[next day]
bythepowerof4hey!! how are you feeling haha, is ur hair still going grey
bythepowerof4im not trying to act like nothing is bad btw i just wanted to start it off nice sorry :/
nickatnightwalkermy hair's moved past being gray and now it's black, so im inadvertently copying misha again
bythepowerof4lmao this is some goth power play shit love it
nickatnightwalkerwhite haired twink is out 2008 gerard way is in
bythepowerof4as it should be!! do you need eyeliner like i don't have any but it would really make the Look
nickatnightwalkerwhy would i need that when i have dry erase markers to just apply liberally to my face
bythepowerof4so resourceful?? pinterest diy that shit
bythepowerof4we can raid the art rooms, get some glue while we're at it and cut a big chunk out of your hair gel budget
nickatnightwalkerdanger with that is potentially overgluing and making it fragile and breakable like glass
bythepowerof4glass bones and paper skin and glass hair also. got it
i mean youre pretty protective of it already i doubt anyone would notice the difference!!
nickatnightwalkerevery morning i break my legs getting out of bed
bythepowerof4do your heart attacks put you to sleep bc i know that feeling
nickatnightwalkeryeah thats why i sleep like four separate times a day
bythepowerof4and i thought that was just a #relateableteen thing
bythepowerof4so not to be weird but is this like. Chilly lackluster banter or are you actually not mad at me
nickatnightwalkerno im pissed
bythepowerof4ok
can i ask why
nickatnightwalkeri mean well first ya came at me for fucking with you which
like i said
i do but it's obvious
then you were a shit to daisy
so
thats that
bythepowerof4iiii mean. you said you wouldnt do that anymore. and then you did. i was just upset
and im sorry about daisy, i told her that too
bythepowerof4like really sorry!!
i just think its weird that someone can say, threaten to kill her and call her a bitch all the time
and youll date him
but i cant get a little upset when we're all high and im having a super stressful few days!!
nickatnightwalkerdo what anymore
bythepowerof4fuck with me
about her
nickatnightwalkerim not
i havent been
bythepowerof4you did though
bythepowerof4like what else was that picture
nickatnightwalkeryou said she was weird and creepy and i sent a picture of her being cute and sweet
bythepowerof4i said she was ACTING weird and creepy which objectively is an accurate description for someone talking about throbbing tentacle dicks and using the word "quivering" in relation to the nether regions of the girl they beat up for fun
but like, what do i know
i dont think shes weird and creepy and thats not what that photo was about im not an idiot
nickatnightwalkerlisten i frankly think everyone needs to reserve their judgment on the moire and daisy situation because it's clearly very complex and beyond the comprehension of mortal men and none of our fucking business to judge one way or another and, yknow, imho, moire has gills and misha smells like magic and youre 4d so maybe also reserve your fucking judgment on who's weird around here anyway
bythepowerof4i know thats why i apologized
nickatnightwalkershe can say shit like that and still be cute and sweet
bythepowerof4but like i said, high and upset and still getting used to this, so u can forgive me for one slip up surely
nickatnightwalkershe contains motherfucking multitudes
bythepowerof4thats not what you were saying though!! you didnt say that
you sent me a picture trying to make me jealous or something, just like she was saying, because obviously i cant have a private conversation with either one of you
nickatnightwalkerif youre jealous thats your problem
bythepowerof4im NOT
you both keep acting like i am thats not fair!!!
nickatnightwalkeri wasnt youre the one who's fixated on it
dont believe i ever said the j word
bythepowerof4i didnt either!! she did!!!
im not fixated on anything i just want to be able to talk to you without you making it about her all the time
nickatnightwalkerweve occasionally talked about more than daisy im p sure
bythepowerof4:/ you know what i meant
nickatnightwalkerwell this IS about her whether you think im continually screwing with you in some single minded attempt to torment you or not
and im not a fan of someone who says theyre her friend telling her shit like that
bythepowerof4i said SORRY it happens ok!!! i feel really awful about it why do you think i was so upset yesterday?
nickatnightwalkeri dont know dude i was baked
bythepowerof4i didnt know that specific thing upset her so much bc no one gave me a rule book for this shit and im never gonna do it again
nickatnightwalkerok cool
im also deciding rightnow this second i dont care if you believe why i sent the picture or not because youre so dead set on me trying to fuck with you ill never change your mind
and for the record
damians never called her a bitch again
nickatnightwalkerand if he tried to kill her, id be more concerned about scraping enough of him up off the sidewalk to fill a bucket
bythepowerof4youre not even gonna try to understand why i might think that
like i could tell you if u gave enough of a shit to listen yeah
nickatnightwalkeris poor self esteem and daisys difficulty with dropping her persona not the right answer
bythepowerof4not quite but thhanks
for that
nickatnightwalkerthats usually what it is
bythepowerof4ok just. Listen for a sec without jumping in to insult me yeah
bythepowerof4the two of you like, obviously tell each other everything. like u straight up reference shit shes obviously told u n vice versa
and that makes it weird cause it feels like im never talking to just you and thats why its weird when u bring her up bc its like, why wouldnt u just tell her whatever i say!!!
bythepowerof4and u keep saying i have a shot w her and telling me how to impress her when i just wanted to brag about winning chicken it didnt have to be a THING u know???
bythepowerof4but like!!! if ur saying that then she knows and it makes it weird!!! like you do that even when you said youd stop and then she accuses me of being jealous of moire and then you immediately send that picture and u can see how i might think it was a fucking team effort
yeah?????
bythepowerof4its weird and intimidating and im not even friends with her i was obviously fooling myself about that but i thought i was friends with you
like not youtwo as a unit or whatever fake setting me up
ok im done but that was stupid so whatever
nickatnightwalkerwell like 1. i dont tell her everything
i know hard concept but just because we talk about a lot of shit which is, yknow, what one does with friends, it doesnt mean we talk about everything
nickatnightwalkerfor instance: didnt know she said you were jealous of moire
bythepowerof4ok
bythepowerof4i believe you im obviously not that big a deal for u guys to bother talking abt me fine
but u can at least see how i might think that given ur whole thing is acting like ur joined at the hip and ganging up on ppl
u know
nickatnightwalkerwait do you want us to talk about you or not clea
nickatnightwalkershe was upset so she told me, i was pissed so i gave you photographic evidence
of the contrary imean
if i know everything about her then when i say youve got a shot i really think im in the best position to be calling that
bythepowerof4thats the problem!! Bc i clearly dont have a shot we dont even talk that much bc i dont even know how to talk to her and that makes it seem like ur pulling it out of ur ass!
nickatnightwalkereither i know everything about her or i dont make up your mind truong
bythepowerof4youre missing the point ok
nickatnightwalkerif the point isnt me giving you the run around to fuck with you not sure what the point is then
bythepowerof4oh my god
nickatnightwalkeris that not literally what you just said
bythepowerof4that is youre just getting bogged down in dumb shit im saying!!
nickatnightwalkeror dyou have your planes in a knot over us telling each other things like, information, like, sharing information about our lives
bythepowerof4stop that i dont give a shit about how the two of you act i just want you to get that its scary!! and it makes it hard for me and you expect me to be so good at this that the second i fuck up youre coming at methis hard
nickatnightwalkerof course i am shes my best friend and youre her friend so it's way worse than some rando ragging on her
bythepowerof4youre MY friend youre like my best friend here because im a fucking mess and youre getting personal about this and its upsetting me it doesnt have to be this intense???
nickatnightwalkerhurting daisy is always gonna be personal clea
nickatnightwalkerand i get you apologized and thats cool and that could be that but to the best of my fucking understanding im not giving you false hope and tbqh honestly, to be honest, actually, youre a decent fucking person and i have a strong preference that daisy go on coffee dates with someone whos not gonna knock her teeth out of her fucking head
bythepowerof4youre that invested and youve never said a single thing to her about it??
do you see how i might come to doubt that
nickatnightwalkeryeah and what the fuck would i say sorry but your weird hate crush kinda gives me the heebs have you ever considered not acting on that and trying to be relatively normal and healthy instead
bythepowerof4so what i have to do everything
nickatnightwalkeridk if youve noticed this but she doesnt really know what shes doing a lot of the time when shes talking to people so you know how i was talking about effort:: reward? thats where that comes in
bythepowerof4thats not fair
you could have just told her that thing you just said instead of pinning the work on other people without even telling them
nickatnightwalkergenerally speaking i try not to reveal daisys weaknesses to new acquaintances
bythepowerof4thats still not fair
do u even like me or are you seriously just trying to set her up with the least murderous person here
nickatnightwalkerif i didnt like you i wouldnt care if you were the least murderous person here
besides i dont get how you think us talking to each other is weird but you expect me to run interference in every single one of her friendships like, hey, just a heads up, shes got trouble finding the off button on the snarky attitude
like hell wingmanning you is pretty much the limit of what i can justify
bythepowerof4i dont expect you to do anything ive told you plenty of times that that shouldnt be your job
youre the one whos apparently been trying to invent a friendship where there isnt one?? forgive me for feeling kind of skeeved
nickatnightwalkeri was under the impression that you WERE friends
not sure when you stopped being friends actually
i KNOW shes doing her best to be less
bad
around you
bythepowerof4:/
nickatnightwalkerwhat
bythepowerof4i didnt wanna say "relationship" tbh bc there definitely isnt one of those
nickatnightwalkeroh haha relatable but look
i saw something good happening there with regards to daisy makin a human connection and i was trying my motherfucking utmost to encourage it
bythepowerof4ok but. its not a genuine human connection if youre there right
thats not very organic its just uncomfortable and confusing
i appreciate your help i guess but it was clearly more for her benefit than mine and that doesnt feel great?
nickatnightwalkerim not like lurking behind coffee machines im not actually THERE
and of course it's more for her benefit i didnt even know you
bythepowerof4i mean the second it went south you were, there, actually,
oh wow
thanks
nickatnightwalkerman youre not gonna pick me over like, your brother or something i dont see how this is shocking
besides
daisys
a good person to be friends with
bythepowerof4i mean sure but im still a bit caught up in you picking me out of a lineup like oh theyll do!!
nickatnightwalkerwhat line up
she likes you
bythepowerof4ok this part for once is not about her
well a little bit but listen
i thought we were friends because you thought i was nice and wanted to be
aka nothing to do with daisy
nickatnightwalkerwell like
yeah
that kinda helped your case though i guess
bythepowerof4no im sorry but that makes it weird
bythepowerof4that you befriended me for her sake and the second i pissed her off you trashed me for it like all im good for is bringing out the good in her
thats stupid??
nickatnightwalkeroh my god you have terrible reading comprehension
step 1. Â we got to be friends
bythepowerof4ok we're back at insilts great!!!
nickatnightwalkershhh just shhh for like a second im breaking itdown alright
step 1. we got to be friends
step 2. you and daisy are also sort of friendsish
step 3. i encourage this shit because shes trying and youre pretty alright
step 4. Â youre yelling at me for leading you on and befriending you to like lure you to daisy or some shit because i apparently just psychically knew you were ok
dont remember if we started talking because you were already talking to daisy so i figure that says something
bythepowerof4thats not what you just said but fine
bythepowerof4if im so wrong about all of this then im sorry for misunderstanding
nickatnightwalkerno it is what i just said
being friends with me first helped your case re me backing you up since i knew you werent a dick
bythepowerof4fine!!! ok i get it i just apologized
i cant help not getting stuff sometimes i figure u would get that being friends with daisy and all
but youre just saying all thise mean shit to upset me and not even feeling bad about it apparently
nickatnightwalkerlisten i really hand to god dont know what things youre talking about right now
doing it for daisy over you? Â like
i knew you enough to know youre alright but daisy is daisy
bythepowerof4ok well yesterday, for one, with the "you should be flattered" bullshit
bythepowerof4and u were fucked so i would forgive that in a second if u bothered apologizing
or maybe the picture, which like, whatever your intentions were clearly was pretty hurtful
or anything about low self esteem, treating me like a melodramatic idiot,
any of that rally
nickatnightwalkerim gonna address these in order
bythepowerof4unless ur adress contains a sorry i dont care
ive heard ur excuses and thats great but thats not how this works
nickatnightwalkerlike
nickatnightwalkerugh jesus cut me some slack im not exactly a social guru here either im sorry about the low self esteem comment that was genuinely not meant to be douchy and neither was the picture even though i sent it because i was pissed
that was more of a look youre wrong kinda thing but i get how with daisy saying you were jealous that looks way harsher than i thought it was so im sorry about that
bythepowerof4even in context of like, just our previous convos i think that seems pretty harsh but yeah
thanks
i appreciate it for real
nickatnightwalkerand like i cant in good faith apologize for the you should be flattered shit because regardless of the situation daisy is daisy and in the interest of transparency im never gonna think anyones good enough for her but like i said she was willing to make an effort for you and i knew you were ok so
bythepowerof4oh my god
nickatnightwalkerwhat i honestly dont get why youre so shocked i prioritize daisy
bythepowerof4im not but you dont,, need to, for one
u know you didnt eed to compare us at all
and no offence but if youre trying to convince me you like me as a person and not just bc im convenient
saying "youre ok" as often as possible is NOT reassuring
nickatnightwalkeroh what
well first obviously i had to since you were getting kinda messed up over me doing thing for her not you and second of all i dont mean Ah Yes, You'll Do..... i mean youre ok
like
bythepowerof4that hadnt happened yet u just brought it up out of nowhere
nickatnightwalkernot bad
bythepowerof4it was douchey
nickatnightwalkerno you
you said it
like
ill scroll back if i have to but you said me doing it all for her felt bad
bythepowerof4yeah and it does fyi but u pulled that "you dont deserve her" crap last fucking night
if youre gonna continue a fight u started high at least read the backlogs dude
its clearly on ur mind if u brought it ip for no reason
nickatnightwalkerit wasnt for no reason it was because she was upset you called her weird and crazy
i didnt pull this shit from the void
bythepowerof4" you were getting kinda messed up over me doing thing for her not you" this hadnt happened yet thats all im saying
u cant even keep your excuses straight
i didnt compare us and you decided to and that understandably made me feel like shit
nickatnightwalkerwell goddamn you pulled the receipts it's certainly not like i couldnt have misunderstood what particular thing you were referring to
bythepowerof4i only did that bc u tried to make it about something else!! i get why u were mad at me but youre trying to make me look dumb its not fair!!
nickatnightwalkerim not trying to make you look like anything believe it or not
sometimes i too am capable of misunderstandings
bythepowerof4then why dont you ever say sorry for them
ive messed up like a dozen times in this convo alone and i said "sorry i misunderstood" ur just
id unno its going in circles and its dumb bc i just want you to not be mad at me
nickatnightwalkerbecause im too busy trying to tell you im not framing you to look like a tool
bythepowerof4and i said i believed you
but youre acting like im an idiot for thinking it at all
nickatnightwalkerdude im not
like i dont know what im doing thats making you think that but im sorry?
bythepowerof4i told you!! over and over!! and you kept making it into something else!!
literally read what u just said and tell me it wouldnt make u feel like an idiot
nickatnightwalkerwhatever sorry i compared you and said you should be flattered
bythepowerof4whatever
sorry agan for being a dick to you last night, bc i admit i was, and to daisy but ill take that one to her bc its like, Our Business
whatevers dont count and im tired so, till next time i guess
nickatnightwalker i said it after you upset her but before you apologized and pretty much would feel that way if donald glover himself came to her door
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EPISODE 5 âCanât we just bring the crazy 15 year old in? Why is that so hard?â - Sarah
The internal struggle is real rn. Do I throw Alex under the bus and secure my safety? Or do I try to sit back and hope a new target emerges?
I don't know how many people know this, but I try to write a big piece of bullshit before every tribal to release if I'm the one voted out. Here's the one from tonight.... First of all I just want to say thank you to the hosts and to my fellow competitors. Now I'm going to expose some snakes. (Please don't hate me people, I just want to blow the game up while I'm leaving). -Linus, Alex, and Tommy are in an alliance -Jonathan HATES Richie and Alex -Jaiden has told me that he has an idol -Crow, Sarah, and Brian have an alliance -Of the 3 mentioned above, Crow and Sarah have a F2 -Tommy is by far playing the best strategic game -Junior is playing an extremely well social game -Brian is connected to the heroes on MANY levels and he'll flip to them at a tribe swap -Linus also has a good social game -Jaiden is messy as fuck
hi my name is im fucked how r u?
BIIIIIITCH I'M GOING FOR MY OTTNN5 EDGIC I'M NOT FUCKING AROUND RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!! (but hopefully i at least get a CPM) The vote was 4 votes Alex. 4 votes Kage. 1 vote ME. 1 vote tommy. 1 vote Jon. theres a tie, brian gets the rock drawn and my stupid ass was like wait my names not on the list and that alone should make me a hero for being an honest bitch but then redo and jaiden leaves and bam i ERUPT. Â in the main chat i'm like YO WHO VOTED WHO LETS GET TO THE BOTTOM OF IT!!! Jon/Crow/Junior all say they voted for alex, Linus says he voted for Kage and I say i voted for kage so thats 5/11 votes accounted for and i cant believe anyone actually listened to me and revealed their vote in the tribal chat lmao WILD i was completely left out of this vote and everything thats been happening on this tribe so its clear im on the bottom and with my name being thrown around at this vote whether i was actually a possible target or a decoy that shit isnt okay im not in the long term plans for ANYONE on this tribe so i have nothing to lose worst case scenario i put a big target on my back and i go out next and if that happens at least i didnt go out as a useless pawn in anyones game and its because i did something but what im hoping is to gain information (which i did because i found out how everyone voted within an hour after tribal) and 2. i wanted chaos so everyones mad at someone like kage voting jon was a big win bc that furthered their fight thats been alive since day 1 after that i went on a bit of a pity tour where i went to everyone and like was like "i feel so alone and isolated and no one trusts me and i just feel like i havent done anything to prove that you shouldnt trust me i just want to be included" just trying to make people feel bad lmao im so worked up its been 2 hours since tribal and i literally havent stopped ive been at a 100 out of 10 with everyone and im going to need to cool down and lay low but while i have momentum i caaaaant just sit around and do nothing so i guess we'll see what consequences my outbursts have had????Â
idk how to explain what just happened
I've wrote myself a hit list of people who ARE going home before me.... Jonathan Richie Linus Alex Tommy Brian
So after a few hours of info gathering I think I have bits and pieces of what happened in that last vote.... So the alliance of 7 (Myself, Jonathan, Sarah, Tommy, Brian, Jaiden, & Junior) were supposed to vote for Alex. However, Jaiden, being bored with the game or feeling outcast at the bottom decides that this is merely a ploy to get us to throwaway our votes. Then, he approaches various people, which I know to be Brian, Linus, and Junior (at least) about the possibility of still voting Kage. Whether this was to insight chaos or division for entertainment or strategy, I don't know.... Meanwhile, Alex is feeling on the outs as he's a smart player and observed it so he threw a vote at Tommy. Whether this was because he knew it would force the vote to tie or simply because he didn't like Tommy and wanted to give him a parting gift, I also don't know.... Jonathan, Tommy, myself, and Sarah stuck to the plan to vote out Alex (however, Sarah doesn't want to expose her vote in public and cause a confrontation between her and Junior considering Junior lied about his vote too....) Kage voted Jonathan in the same regard that Alex did. (Again, I don't know if it was planned or not or if either had connections to Jaiden's plans, but they both threw away their votes despite them being clear targets.....sketch....) Which means that someone threw a vote at Richie and is not fessing up about it. Richie voted Kage because I'm sure that's what everyone told him to do (as we were supposed to) and he was just alone. The vote for Richie, in my opinion, was likely Jaiden, given his rep for paranoia and throwing votes away to avoid rocks/idol plays (ironic, huh?) and that Junior voted for Kage as a part of Jaiden's plan considering there's a strong possibility that him and Linus are connected.... So right now, I trust Tommy, Jonathan, Alex, Sarah (but I'm also a little worried as to why she doesn't want to tell the truth to everyone....) and honestly, still Brian because I can relate to his position.....I want to build trust with Richie but we're not there quite yet. My targets would be Kage and Junior as of now. Kage just....just needs to go and Junior is a massive rat with a few too many strings on this tribe. Either or, I don't care which one goes first.... Or I'm totally wrong and still aligning myself with rats =)
I got REALLY lucky yesterday, however I also lost my closest ally in the process. Â And I told him I would slay the rest of this game for him, so I must avenge Jaiden (who I will confessional-ize about all the time!). Â I had some major damage control and I just pushed over and over again that I voted Kage, the truth, so that people would trust me more. Â I hope they do still trust me, and I do think they realize that I'm still useful to most of them. Â I grew insanely close to Richie after that happened, and the two of us will most definitely be working together. Â Linus still trusts me, and I think Alex might still trust me to an extent. Â Kage and I are probably done which is fine. Â Junior is a snake or so I think. Â Tommy doesn't not trust me, he just probably won't trust me as much. Â But he did know about the Kage vote, so I didn't completely shock him. Â Sarah and Crow need me, I think. Â Jonathan needs me. Â I hope my thoughts on all this are right djskahsd.
OK LISTEN THE FUCK UP HUNTIES!! IM ABOUT TO SPILL ALL THE GOOD TEA AND HONESTLY I WOULD HAVE DONE IT ON A VIDEO BUT MY PHONE! IS A POS AND apparently i have too many videos already? ANYWAYS SO I HAVENT MADE A CONFESSIONAL AND WEVE GONE TO TRIBAL COUNCIL THREE TIMES VILLAINS ARE A MESS HONESTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so the first vote was between brian and pat and then i messaged brian and i was like heheh i wannt to keep u so crow and i went around talking to ppl to see how they felt (crow and i didnt plan this out btw i guess we both just wanted to keep him?) SO THEN PAT WENT HOME! on a 9-3-1 vote ash self voted kage(mess), tommy and pat voted brian and the rest of us voted pat so anyways then WE FUCKING LOSE AGAIN!?!? are these heroes on steroids? idk? anyways! we gotta go to tribal council again and at this point im kinda like ok i feel fine.....AND DO U WANNA KNOW WHY??? crow and brian and I have an alliance jaiden and jr and I have an alliance tommy felt bad about being in minority and not listening to me for the pat vote so we have pledged our f2 together and he is literally the light of my life...i cant tell if he feels the same but boy do i love this boy...hes my ned pt 2 anyways so jonathan decided that he wanted a majority alliance with crow, brian, me, him, jaiden, jr andDD TOMMY !!! LEGIT ALL THE PPL IM ALLIGNED WITH SO IM IN THE FUCKING MIDDLE AHHHH SCREAM SCREAM BITCH THE FUCK CREAM CHEESE SCREAM so that works out ...obv i dont like jaiden or jr bc they fucking suck anyways so we all vote together to vote out ashley ... and kage and richie and linus and alex are just there i heard there have been an alliance with alex, kage, linus and tommy -which tommy doesnt like btw i know jr and linus are a thing richie and alex are prob a thing everyone is connected and tbh i dont really care for any of these players except for tommy...and Id like to add crow to that list but we all know hes a mastermind so ...i aint a dumb bitch SO ANYWAYS NOW ONTO THE THIRD VOTE...WE HAVE MAJORITY AND WE DECIDE TO VOTE OUT ALEX well DOESNT THAT GO ASTRAY jaiden decided to vote out kage, brian voted with him so basically heres how the voting went (hopefully im correct) crow-alex jon-alex tommy-alex sarah-alex kage-jon richie-kage brian-kage jaiden-kage linus-kage jr-richie alex-tommy but everyone thot i voted out ....richie..and I KNOW IN THE BOTTOM OF MY FUCKING HEART THAT JR IS LYING!! AND HE WONT ADMIT IT and heres why i know hes lying and hes a snake a rama 1) he put ashleys name out there on the second vote-he got scared it was gonna come to bite him in the ass so he told ppl "hes hearing ashleys name" 2) he has a clear alliance with kage and has been trying to keep him this entire time when its obvious no one likes him !?!? 3) he told kage that ashley went around saying kages name LOL which is funny so now kage hated ashley and they both hated eachother and tbh idrc if jr wants to make stupid obvious moves like this to pit two idiotic players against one another but hey ! like ...as long as u aint trying ur shit with me then idfc about u bitch 4) he voted richie and hes lying...like fucking stop? so anyways BECAUSE JAIDEN AND JR ARE UGLY AF INSIDE AND OUT I NOW NEED TO AMEND TIES WITH FUCKING ALEX bc him and i had an agreement of f2 :c so i tell him i voted him and that i didnt want to lie and then he wants a majority alliance with me, crow, brian, linus and richie !!! which im down for like bitch im not gonna turn down an alliance!?! but i will tell tommy about this bc i like that alex and tommy both dont like eachother hehe but alex is def playing middle but ill just let him think hes being slick BUT ANYWAYS I WAS BORED AT 1 AM LAST NIGHT SO GUESS WHAT I DECIDED TO DO ... look for the idol... so it went a little something like this me: josh i know ur online LET ME SEARCH FOR IDOL josh: yes hello wanna search me: YES josh: ok! me: josh pls give me an idol pls josh *crickets* josh: Congratulations! You have found the Modoru idol. This is a special idol with special powers. This idol, when played, will restart the round to before the last immunity challenge, halting the tribal council, resulting in no elimination from the game. The immunity challenge will be reconducted, and the game will continue as normal. It is important to note that is idol must be played before the votes are read, at the same time as a normal idol. If any other idol is played in addition to this idol, it shall be returned to itâs owner. me: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I HAVE A FUCKING FISH IDOL anyways ya so thats what u missed on glee
The Heroes showing up to slay the villains in the challenge honestly I dont know whats my more favorite thing, winning immunity or watching the villains descend into madness
We won immunity again out of luck..... woopdy freakin doo. I feel kinda bad for the heroes because the Villains are having all the FUN and I wanna be included in on the fun, but I do have to keep reminding myself that no matter how eager I am, it's good that I've been immune these few times because, eventually, if I make it there, I'll have to go to every single tribal council, and knowing how horrific I am under pressure when it comes to individual immunities, I probably won't win many of those. But one good thing did come out of this round, and it's the fact that Kendall painted a bigger target on her back if we were to go to tribal, and it's to get her the fuck out of here. I know she's a strong player, and taking this opportunity to take her out, without even cutting the legs off of her body (and by that I mean taking out Ruthie first, so she feels safe and then stabbing her in the throat), but since Kendall is making it so easy to just target her dumb ass, I guess that'll work too and maybe I can now look into using Ruthie as an asset in this game, especially since she's so nice, she seems really loyal and doesn't have many social skills going around according to what I'm hearing from the tribe. Maybe it's time to start building that final relationship in our tribe, so I can use it in case we swap tomorrow, which I'm highly speculating
I also think it's about that time where I start picking up those strong relationships with those Villains like I had night one, especially if we're swapping tomorrow. I want to keep conversations raw and not too deep. Like a "Good Luck at tribal" and see if it'll spark anything. I've been consistently talking to Tommy, Linus and Crow, but I also know Tommy has been having consistent conversations with members of our tribe, and honestly, there's a chance I might slip this information to Crow to see if he can take out Tommy, especially because he's a winner. OMG THIS CONFESSIONAL JUST GAVE ME A BRILLIANT IDEA. Let's see if I can low-key just plant the seed to get him the fuck out of here and see what's up :)
Drew and Alex C. hosting a main season TOGETHER during Japan? Mood. This is from after me winning the duel. Oops forgetting to submit it from last round
BY THE MOTHERFUCKING GRACE OF JESUS CHRIST I SOMEHOW GOT THE IDOL CLUE WITH AN 8% CHANCE OF IT POTENTIALLY GOING TO ME (ya know.... 1/12 #math). I know it's in the meadow based off of the clue, and lucky for me I already searched there once, so I've got a 1/3 shot of finding it........ AND I FUCK IT THE FUCK UP. Essentially I have two options here, either go to one of my closest allies (Steffen or Trace) to search for the idol as well in the space I told them to, and then they hopefully will it over to me, OR I just wait until next round and HOPE I'm still on Heroes beach (despite the high speculation of a swap), and just hope that I can search again to better my odds. I decided there's no time like the present, so I run to Steffen and Trace, but Steffen answers first, so lucky for Steffen, and I tell him the predicament, and he goes to look for the idol and nada. Now at this point, I just gotta wait it out because I think there's a decent chance we won't be swapping, and that would be incredible for my game because then I can actually go for it now and find out if it has been found or not. I'm getting the feeling that at the fifth round of this game, either someone got a secret idol clue during their search (which is very possible) or that someone got DUMB lucky. Either way, I'm keeping optimistic at this point and praying that shit goes my way. ~Cheers to not a swap~
Also, fucking Tommy keeps messaging me about swapping tribes and wanting to abandon ship with the villains because it's essentially him and Kage vs everyone else. I'm not really sure if this is true, especially because he has fucking won this game before, but I'm going to assume, based on what's been told to me, that it is actually Tommy and Kage vs the tribe, and I think it'll be an interesting tribal tonight, with it being likely that Kage goes home. On a totally different note, I decided to try to utilize my relationship with Crow on the villains tribe, and let him know that A LOT of Heroes have been getting messages from Tommy nonstop, and as much as I think he's nice, the second I found out about Tommy messaging ALL the heroes, and not just me, it made me realize that I don't really think I can trust him and that he's gotta go. I wonder if Crow is going to be taking my advice, or maybe cutting the legs off of Tommy, but Tommy can be a huge tool for me that I can use against the Villains if I end up on a swapped tribe that could fuck me over in numbers, but with Tommy, I've got a shot. As of now, I think Kage is going from what Tommy told me, which means that Tommy is likely next on the chopping block, and he's been talking to me A LOT about mutinying, but I'm not really sure he can do that, but if he can, and he chooses to, there probably won't be much stopping me from booting him out of our tribe almost immediately. We'll see how tonight goes because I'm HIGHLY skeptical about it, but I've got faith that we're not swapping because our tribe declared that Dom is competing in this duel for our tribe, and idk if the hosts are fucking with us or not, but if they are, then kudos to them because I don't know what to think at this point
youtube
https://youtu.be/6yiILcktIqo
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