#and then coming out at the end of it with the same steadfast compassion and kindness that he'd always had

[toshidou]

just binge watched all 4 hunger games movies and 2014 me has ripped its way to the surface to scream about how much she loves peeta mellark

[katerinaaqu]

The Death of Odysseus (Part 3 + Afternote)

Oh boy oh boy oh boy! Apparently I couldn't stop myself! Today is the last blue moon and man I just felt like I HAD to post part 3 today for some reason! After Part 1 and Part 2 here's the third and final part! This is my longest chapter still from this series! Please follow me to the trip of Odysseus in the underworld for his ordeals are about to end... This is long I know! But I would love to hear your thoughts on this at to my other 2 parts! ^_^ Forgive me if this is too tiring!

Diomedes’s footsteps were the only things he could hear as they entered to the new section of the Underworld. Along the way one by one the souls accompanying them had to stop. It was as if their journey along with him for now was reflecting their arduous trip. Now he was alone once more, passing by other shades that seemed to be matching his age. His feet felt tired and at the same time they weren’t. What a weird sensation!

“Diomedes…” he whispered, “Can we stop for a second? I need to catch my breath”

Diomedes looked at him over his large shoulder.

“Soon you will. Endure for a little longer, my friend”

“I feel like…I can’t breathe…!” Odysseus rasped out

It was as if some huge weight was on his chest. It was as if every time the soul of one of his comrades was disappearing or promising he would meet him later after his journey was done, he was losing a part of himself. It was as if he was feeling the losses again and again but this time it was crushing him like the pressure of a mountain. It was suffocating him. His body, old from time and hardships, even if he was shadow now, was feeling heavy, unable to move as if he was aging even further during his trip. He felt like breathing in the thick mist of water instead of air as he walked…as if every breath was tightening his chest… Diomedes looked at him with a soft smile of compassion.

“Courage! Just a bit further we can stop…I promise…”

“Help me…! Please…!” Odysseus rasped out, voice trembling

Once more he felt the consequences of the lack of tears to his new form. He could not release himself from pain through tears anymore; he could feel the sadness, the burning down his throat and his voice cracking…but his eyes would never water. A warm, shining hand was placed before him.

“Come on, my friend, courage! We’re almost there”

Odysseus accepted Diomedes’s strong arm with his wrinkled, shaking hand. Being supported by his old friend and now protector-god, Odysseus slowly moved forward. For one second his memory ran back to the last interaction he had with his son; how his son was supporting him in a similar manner towards his bed. Oh, he missed him so much! His home he would never see again…the smell of the sea he would never sniff again… The softness of a bed he would never feel again… Ithaca he would never experience again… Now under the crushing weight of his journey pressing on his chest Odysseus remembered Aeaea…and Ogygia…the sweet tortures and temptations of his life… Both opportunities he had to escape this pain; this torment. He had the chance to remain to the world of the living…like a god…like Diomedes was supporting him steadfast right now… He wouldn’t have experienced this pain; this sadness and nostalgia…this solitude…this endless up and down of emotions between happiness and sadness, hope and despair that was about to drive him insane. So many dead men had drunk from the river of Lithe to escape this. Odysseus had chosen, once more, the hard way. He had chosen this…just like back then he chose his wife and the love of his land.

“Oh how insignificant that would seem to the eyes of those goddesses!” he thought in woe, “Woe is you, they would say, you experience that pain now…only to see your wife and home for as many years as you were separated from them! What was the point? Was it worth it? That’s what they would say to me if they saw me now…!”

And yet Odysseus, feeling the warmth of Diomedes by his side…remembering the delight and happiness to see his comrades again…No, this pain was worth it! The senseless existence or immortal life would demand a high price to pay! He nearly tripped at a stone but Diomedes was there to hold him.

“Courage, my friend!” he encouraged him once more, “We are almost there.”

Every step he took seemed like a decade; like a decade of torture falling upon him. But yet again Odysseus endured. He had to. They reached a plateau and finally Diomedes stopped. He nodded to Odysseus and helped him sit upon a stone. Odysseus nearly collapsed. He would have been soaked in sweat if he were a human. He was breathing heavily; painfully. Diomedes patted him on the back.

“I can’t…!” Odysseus finally whispered pleadingly, “I can’t anymore, Diomedes! I can’t…go any further…!”

“Now, now…” Diomedes whispered with a compassionate smile, “Don’t give up now…you must keep going”

“I can’t! Please…spare me…! Mercy, Diomedes…! Please…leave me here…I don’t have any more strength to go on…”

“You are almost there, Odysseus” Diomedes repeated softly and yet firmly, “Do not give up. The reward at the end is always sweet for those who endure”

Odysseus only pleadingly looked at him. Suddenly he felt older than before. As if he aged over a thousand years instead of 80… He gritted his teeth and nodded. Struggled to his feet; although he had to be assisted by Diomedes again in order to fully stand. How long had he been to be traveling? Was it a day? A year? A decade? Was it a century? He looked up. He almost felt as if snow was falling on him. Perhaps it wasn’t snow but ash flakes from the fires of Troy… He raised his hand in the air as if trying to catch them. He gathered it back to his throbbing chest.

“Why…does it hurt so much…?” he managed to whisper, “Is it normal to be this painful?”

“The journey reflects a life…” Diomedes whispered, “The pain and the joy one experiences are up to them…”

“Woe is me…!” Odysseus exasperated, “How much pain…! So much sorrow…so much anger and hatred…! Can it stop, Diomedes? Will it ever stop…?”

Diomedes was silent. He couldn’t respond and Odysseus knew it. Diomedes didn’t experience this trip himself when he entered Elysium and godhood.  He was not Hades to know. How much pain would he experience after so many years of torment?

“Gods…!” he whispered, “Oh, gods! Please release me…even for a little while! My heart cannot bear it! Please make it stop, Diomedes…! Make it stop…!”

“You’re getting there, Odysseus…” Diomedes once more encouraged, “Do not lose heart now! You have but a few stops left… Goddess Athena promised me. She has your back… Take strength from her, my old friend! I beg of you…”

Moaning in pain and anguish Odysseus forced his pace, grasping on Diomedes as hard as he could, as if he had physical nails to dig into his now immortal flesh. For one more time…Odysseus endured…

*

The journey was moving slowly as he finally managed to breathe with some ease. It took a bit further and exactly as Diomedes had promised it became somehow bearable. He even managed to walk on his own now. His old friend was always there watching his step. However as he looked around he thought he recognized shades that passed by him, almost as if completely ignoring him. Oh how much he wished he had a walking stick with him! Or at least the oar that he was carrying for his redemption journey! His back felt almost like breaking. It was as if he was walking forever. He stood for a second looking around at the open area. It wasn’t as cramped with souls as the other one he passed from before.

“Where are we, Diomedes?” he asked, “What part of Hades is this?”

“This is the area of the kings and nobles” Diomedes explained.

Odysseus scoffed.

“Are you telling me that this old, beaten body of mine belongs here?”

“Perhaps”

“Look who’s here!”

That familiar voice he hadn’t heard in decades made him turn. He recognized the blonde long hair of Achilles, walking side by side to the brown-haired and gray-eyed Patroclus and their companion Antilochus. Achilles was having his arms folded against his chest as he perceived him. He was as youthful as always; a man who lost his life so early.

“Achilles!” Odysseus breathed out

The man Fast in Feet smiled.

“We began to think that the gods of death had forgotten about you!”

“I told you he would potentially outlive us all, Achilles” Patroclus said softly

“Indeed” Achilles agreed, “Someone who came down here even alive would undoubtedly be too stubborn to die!”

“He always was”

Odysseus turned around to see that tall man. He recognized his wavy locks and his well-kept beard; those large brown eyes.

“Agamemnon!”

He half-staggered to the direction of his and the two men embraced. Odysseus remembered that tall man who used to be one head taller than what he was. Now that he had partially shrunk with age, he seemed even taller.

“Nice to see you again, old friend” Agamemnon whispered, “At least one of us got to make it to old age! Look at you! Never expected to see the great Odysseus looking worse than Nestor!”

Odysseus chuckled softly in his self-pity.

“Yeah, I grew old alright…I bet I look awful right now. I avoided the mirrors for a long time before this!”

They chuckled a bit. Odysseus held his stomach that still felt painful with every breath but it was getting better. As he scanned the place he noticed more kings and queens arriving, it almost felt like a welcoming party. He recognized many figures he had only heard from stories like Minus, Perseus and Jason the Argonaut but he also saw so many known figures; people he never thought he would see again.

“Nestor!” he called to the elderly figure that approached him

Oh, how strange! He looked so much younger than him now! He had heard of Nestor’s death had occurred a little after Telemachus had come back to Ithaca. Peisistratus, the youngest son that remained a loyal friend and companion to his son had brought the terrible news. He had outlived Nestor by a decade in years! How different they looked now as they embraced and cried in their souls (for neither could shed tears). How fragile Odysseus felt! And yet he perceived his old friend, whom he hadn’t seen ever since Troy!

“Look at us!” he whispered in emotion, “You were old at Troy…I was barely entering threshold of old age…and now…look at us!”

“What a weird thing fate is, Odysseus…” Nestor whispered back

The kings were gathered, greeting him like an old friend. He remembered so many of them from Troy. It almost felt like they never left that camp at the foot of the holy city. People were greeting him, patting his back. Odysseus was smiling in emotion; yes, it was as if he never left, as if he was still a young ambitious man, barely to the threshold of old age instead of dead, dragging an old body and old memories all the way into the underworld!

“Is the celebrity of the day available to see an old friend?”

That soft voice made Odysseus shine inside. He saw that tall man; with the fair skin and hair; hair that was once reddish blonde, almost platinum, now it was white like snow. The body he remembered so strong and sturdy at Troy even if still vigorous bore the samples of old age. The eyes that had the color of honey and oil were looking at him compassionately like always. By his side the beautiful Helen kissed by the sun at her hair like golden Aphrodite. She herself despite aged like every mortal would have aged she could pass at least a decade younger than the age she had during her passing. She was stunningly beautiful as ever, holding affectionately the arm of the man with whom she shared her life with. There was no doubt who that man was that filled his soul with delight.

“Menelaus! Gods! Menelaus!”

He didn’t care who watched as he clumsily and tiredly stumbled close to his friend who met him mid-way and they embraced tightly.

“Now…you are the one who must support me…” Odysseus whispered

“I got you, old friend…I do…” Menelaus whispered

Odysseus remembered when they met before he continued his redemption trip. Menelaus was suffering from his health; years and sorrows had taken their toll on him. When Helen had sent a letter for his passing to Ithaca, for which he was informed after his return from the mainland, Odysseus had cried in silence for days. He had mourned Menelaus; the only man that truly believed to the very end of his wellbeing, the only man that shared his guilt and pain. How many things had commenced in the name of their loves! Odysseus who secretly invented the Oath of Tyndareus to marry Penelope, Menelaus called onto the oath and started the war of Troy; the bloody war that cost the lives of thousands. They had agreed reluctantly to sacrifices of two young maidens; one saved one doomed. They had wandered, they had shipwrecked and they had felt the pain…and here they were. Menelaus passing at the threshold of old age…Odysseus to the end of it… Odysseus held Menelaus’s cheeks with his hands, as if to observe his more youthful appearance.

“How…?” he whispered emotionally, “How could you take the trip so far…?”

The pain he felt…only Menelaus could understand! Only Menelaus could give him the answer he sought!

“H-How…how could you take it…?”

Menelaus smiled softly and ran his hand over Odysseus’s face, as if to feel every wrinkle and disfigurement from age. Slowly moved the veil off Odysseus’s head and ran his fingers through his thinned, white wholly hair.

“I was telling to myself; endure it, old chap, Odysseus endured worse…this is nothing! I was saying to myself; you have to endure, this is what Odysseus would have done!”

Odysseus did the only thing he could; he collapsed. He held onto Menelaus for dear life; the way he embraced his son Telemachus when he saw him for the first time after so many years of ordeal. It was the only thing he could do for he could no longer cry. He could only tighten his grip; with his arms that no longer had his youthful strength, and shake as the sobs were coming from the soul rather than the tears and so did Menelaus; he embraced him tightly grasping the hair to the back of his head, burying his face to the crook of his neck. The two old friends were left to mourn their lives, their pain and fleeted youth. Both had wondered what if they had done things differently. What if had they chosen a different path? Nothing mattered now. They had both left the world they knew. Daring to break their embrace and Odysseus draw a few painful breaths, which torn his chest apart, to find his composure he looked up to see the gigantic figure of Ajax, accompanied by his brother Teucer. Ajax looked so youthful! Just a bit older than Achilles. His black eyes were staring or rather glaring at Odysseus’s frail and old form. He remembered the other time Odysseus had arrived to the underworld. He had tried to talk to him but Ajax’s anger was holding high. Now Odysseus felt even smaller than then before him.

“Ajax…” he whispered pleadingly, “Please…f-forgive me…! Please…don’t look at me like this! Please! Don’t…!”

“I hated you as much as I have hated no Trojan…”

The deep voice coming as if from the core of the earth made Odysseus look up. He hadn’t heard Ajax’s voice in decades. His words were knives that cut deep.

“You wronged me. Athena took away my dignity to protect you…I hated you like I hated no man…or no beast…”

“Please…” Odysseus whispered, “I know…I…I am sorry…I am…so sorry…!”

“But…”

Odysseus looked at his eyes; like a mouse that was caught at the claws of a cat. Ajax was not done yet.

“I learnt something from Menelaus and Teucer…something no one told me before…for others also hated me for my intentions. Menelaus and my brother told me it was you the one who demanded my funeral…he told me it was you the one who saved my soul…”

“I…” Odysseus stammered, “I couldn’t let you perish…f-for my…for the decision to take the arms… You didn’t deserve it…”

“No…” Ajax agreed, “I didn’t…”

He looked at him again. His look was not grateful even if his eyes were. Odysseus couldn’t expect more than that. He knew Ajax had a reason to be crossed with him. He wouldn’t demand him to let go of his anger for this.

“Thank you…for that” Ajax finally said, “For saving my honor”

Odysseus nodded. Yes, this was much more than what he could ever expect or wish for. He had long now stopped considering Ajax his enemy; daresay he might even consider him his friend. He was glad that at least Ajax wouldn’t hold on his grudge so strongly now.

“My son…”

The voice of Laërtes; music to his ears! He turned around to see his old father; the man he saw in despair in Ithaca turning his life around soon after; strong like a lion; the man he had buried long time ago; before he even left for his redemption trip. Now he seemed almost the same age as he was. Odysseus let himself go in his arms as if he were a boy, as if he needed once more that affection.

“Welcome, my son…” his father whispered, “Finally home…our Final Home…”

“F-Forgive me…f-father…you waited…again…”

“This waiting was sweet, my son” Laërtes replied, “I wouldn’t wish for you to arrive to this dark threshold before long time had passed! I wouldn’t feel joy in my heart if I saw my dear son looking younger than me when he arrived here…”

It was a sweet delight indeed. Odysseus realized from his father’s words that he would prefer a thousand times to stay in Hades for a thousand years suffering from longing and see his son arrive old and happy and content rather than see him arriving as soon as possible looking young and vigorous. It was a sweet pain that he would wish to welcome himself. Oh gods, let me suffer so, he prayed silently, let me suffer longing and nostalgia till I see my son and grandson again…see them arrive old and healthy; looking a decade older than me! Let them live long and well, Athena! That is all I ask! This pain in my heart…I shall take it gladly!

“There is someone else here though that wishes to see you, my son” the old man said once more, “Waited for long to greet you…”

“This blessed day and delight, Odysseus…! My Most Prayed For!”

That voice; that soft voice he hadn’t heard in decades! Odysseus turned around to see the figure dressed in veils; thin and frail, old and tormented but all the same beautiful and warm! He collapsed there was no way he could describe it! He forgot any law of propriety; any sort of shame or dignity.

“M-Mother…!” he croaked out

Oh, gods how cruel! I cannot shed tears! I cannot shed tears of happiness of joy…of sadness and pain! Of longing! How cruel!

“Odysseus…” Anticlea opened her arms.

She stood there. She didn’t come closer. Odysseus practically ran; as much as his old frail body allowed him to, and he threw himself in her embrace which close around him for the first time after.

“Ma…!” he called out again, “Gods! Gods!”

He nested in her arms; he hugged her as if he wanted to merge her with him; as if he wanted to merge into her body like he was almost a century prior! Finally! Finally!

“Ma!” he cried again out, “Hug me…! Please! Hug me…! H-Hold me…! Please!”

He cried out three times; like three times he had tried to embrace her back then when he was flesh and blood and she was a silent shadow who could talk to him only through the blood of the ram he had sacrificed! His mother’s bony fingers embraced him! Her hands ran through his hair. Odysseus practically slid to the ground, his stomach touching the rocks of Hades! His face was nested in his mother’s arms; his hands grasping the material she was wearing; desperately and his mother knelt to the ground, caressing his white from age head as if he were a baby who had just woken up from a nightmare. He wanted to nest in her arms; curl up there and be protected! His mother didn’t need to speak. She was only humming an old song he hadn’t heard in years…trying to soothe the storm of his soul… How weird indeed how despite her sorrows making her older, he looked so much older than her now; her veil was covering her still thick hair while his had started to thin out while he was growing older; her limbs were thin from sadness but his were shrunk by age; fingers stiff and rough from pains and years; her legs hidden under the long dress still strong and steadfast; his were beaten up by age and weather adorned by his infamous scar he got when he was just a lad…

“Gods…!” he whispered again, “Gods…! R-Release me…! No more…! Let me stay here…! My heart will burst if I go further…!”

He felt Menelaus’s hand on his shoulder.

“Come on, old friend, get up…” he said softly, “You are a king among kings now. Show some dignity”

The playful voice he heard from his lips was something that partially brought him back to reality but he still did not wish to let go. It took his mother’s encouragement and Menelaus’s assistance to drag his body off the ground and back to his feet. He almost felt dizzy as he leaned against Menelaus, almost to the point of fainting (even if he knew he wasn’t allowed that anymore. He was no flesh and blood. He was shadow and shade). Menelaus was true to his promise as he supported him as he leaned his head against his shoulder trying to catch his breath.

“Gods…I can’t…I can’t take this anymore…” he whispered

“There there…” Menelaus cooed at him, “You are almost there I am sure. You have endured so much, my friend! Just a little longer…”

“And then…this pain…will go away…?” Odysseus looked at him pleadingly

“Or you will learn to live with it” Menelaus smiled sadly, “Is no different than life, really…if you think about it. We lived with this pain for decades; so much so that we forgot what it feels like till our journey here reminded us. But you’ll have us here, my friend. You will never be alone again…”

The Much Enduring Odysseus lowered his head. Menelaus was right. What would be the difference? They would still live with shades. The shades that were in their heads before just happened to be around them now.

“I will accompany you for a little while” Menelaus said, “Until I cannot go further. Is that okay with you, Diomedes?”

It was the first time Odysseus heard anyone address Diomedes. Maybe they were all in awe and fear before his godly power. Either way Diomedes nodded. Yes, there would be no problem to have another person with them again for a little while. But then Odysseus felt fear bite his soul once again as he recognized the 108 figures of the suitors arriving! To their head there was Palamedes! The man he never thought he would see or rather he wished with all his soul he wouldn’t see. The people behind he could possibly handle but Palamedes? No, he knew he would have to face him sooner or later.

“Odysseus!” Palamedes called out, “You’ve got a lot of nerve showing your face around here!”

“Well…in my defense there was nowhere else I could go!” Odysseus mumbled as he made a few steps back, his mind paralyzed in fear

It was good that Menelaus was holding him. Palamedes laughed, soon followed by the rest of his wife’s suitors.

“Just imagine! The mighty Odysseus the one who slay us one by one is now in this condition! Frail and old! Shivering in fear before us!”

Feeling some of his old pride coming back, Odysseus stepped up a bit and faced his accusing party with as much courage he could master. Yes, currently his shade was weak, old, exhausted. He could not match the strength and vigorousness of these young men he had sent to Hades so long ago! However his pride would not allow this to be taken down one more time, especially by these people that wished to hurt his family.

“Will it give you satisfaction, Palamedes? Will it give satisfaction to all of you to beat down the shade of an old man? Will it change anything to our current condition?”

Every breath was hard, every word almost impossible. However Odysseus endured. Just like Menelaus had advised him; he had to live with the pain. He had to learn to accept it.

“No, but perhaps it will make us feel better thinking what you did to us!”

“Back off, Palamedes!” Menelaus commanded, wrapping his arm around Odysseus’s shoulders, “You had your chance years ago. You shall not touch this man! Not while I am here! If it weren’t of all of your unholy deeds you wouldn’t have come down so soon!”

“Menelaus speaks the truth!” Agamemnon responded, “This man is a king! You shall not touch him!”

“He is no king! He is nothing but a common butcher!” Antinous retorted

“Then that makes you nothing but a common thief” Menelaus pointed out, “Leave it be, Antinous! Do not taint your acts even further! This man suffered all his life and he is dead! Live with it!”

“How much deeper can we get!” Palamedes mocked him, “As you said we are dead!”

“You don’t wanna know!” Menelaus pointed out, his eyes now sparkling seriously, “Do not anger the gods even further! Heck, you are at the presence of one right now! Just leave it be!”

The large figure that got between them, cut the debate in half.

“Back off!” Ajax said emphatically, pointing his large finger against the chest of the previous prince, “You said what you had to say now back off!”

“What are you doing?!” Palamedes hissed, “He was supposed to be your enemy! He-…”

The finger on his chest once again made him stop.

“Back. Off!” Ajax commanded one last time.

Palamedes knew he didn’t stand a chance against that giant. The princes felt their need for revenge a bit puffing out. They backed down a bit. Palamedes eyed Odysseus with pure hatred.

“This isn’t over, Odysseus of Ithaca!”

“Pray that it is” Menelaus retorted, “This man is not alone! Remember that, Palamedes!”

Only when the souls of these men left the picture, Odysseus allowed himself to breathe. He would almost have collapsed again but Menelaus seemed ready this time, supporting him. Odysseus looked at the giant form of Ajax. His eyes spoke so many words even if his mouth could not put them together.

“Thank you…” he whispered. It was all he could say

“A favor for a favor” Ajax said plainly, “My debt is repaid”

Odysseus only lowered his head. He bowed before the greatness of that man as he had done so many times in the past. He looked at Diomedes who was still observing the scene; as if seeing his old war comrades.

“I am ready, Diomedes” Odysseus said, “Please, lead the way to the end…”

Diomedes silently nodded. Odysseus marched again, this time with Menelaus by his side, supporting him. He felt a warmth he hadn’t felt before. Yes, he would live with the pain. He had done so all his life. So he took a step.

And then another…

And another…

*

Menelaus was true to his word. He accompanied them for a long time. The two of them talked for many things; wars, trips, encounters. It was good to have another person to talk to him; someone who understood his pain…someone who had been through that before… And then once more, Menelaus stopped, like his companions stopped before. He could not go any further. Odysseus had looked at him like he was saying a final goodbye. His old friend had reassured him they would wait for him till his journey was over.

“Till it’s over…” Odysseus thought, “How long will that be though…?”

His travel lasted for something that seemed like an eternity to him… Maybe he had more of that to come. Now he was alone again, walking behind the light of Diomedes. More shadows of kings and queens had passed by them as they walked. When he spotted a tall, dark-haired figure playing with a toddler barely one years old, Odysseus covered his face with his veil and looked the other way in shame. No, he couldn’t face Hector of Troy…not yet! Hector, the Tamer of Horses looked up from his son only for one second but he didn’t seem to notice. He turned his attention back to his son, joined by his family as well. Odysseus silently cried his known now tear-less cry. So much pain and sorrow! And yet there was hope…at least they saw themselves again… He would face them eventually…just not yet…not yet… And they didn’t recognize him.

“Who would recognize an old, wandering shadow…?” he thought

“We are almost at the final section of this trip, Odysseus” Diomedes whispered, breaking him out of his thoughts, “Soon it will be over…it is all up to you”

“I…understand…” Odysseus nodded apprehensively. He was exhausted

“Are you afraid?”

Diomedes had voiced the same thing he asked him when he was about to take him from his bed that night. His voice was reassuring at least.

“No…” he whispered after some thought, “I have to do this anyway…let’s get it over with…”

Just a bit further they walked, Odysseus was once more hugging his veil around him, feeling older, insignificant and yet Menelaus and his companions, the other kings had given him strength to move on. And then they reached two ebony doors. They were as huge as a city wall. The carvings on the door were complicated; depicting battles and stories untold by humans through human voices and mouths. The intimidating gate was there in the middle of the misty underworld, as if coming out of nowhere. It was not attached to wall or anything similar to a building. It was just a gate in the middle of nowhere. Odysseus felt the clenching in his soul.

“This is it…” Diomedes said, “The final passage…”

Odysseus gulped.

“What’s on the other side?”

“I don’t know” Diomedes replied simply, “That is something you have to discover on your own to the other end…”

“Am I going to re-live my past…?”

“I don’t know…probably”

“Will I get to meet more of those who were wronged by me…?”

“It is possible…”

“This is the only way, right?”

“Yes…”

Odysseus held his veil tightly over the spot of the throbbing heart.

“It will be painful…won’t it? Almost unbearable…”

“Yes…” Diomedes couldn’t lie, “But the reward at the end will be worth it…”

“Penelope…!” Odysseus whispered in outmost longing

“Yes…” Diomedes confirmed, “She is waiting for you at the end of your journey, that’s all I know… That was her journey…”

“So I have to go to her…to relieve her from this pain…”

“Yes”

Odysseus sighed and then looked up. His eyes were pleading. Diomedes could almost see the tears running down those old, wrinkled cheeks. It almost looked like a cat lost in the rain for too long, begging to be taken in.

“Will you stay with me…?” Odysseus mumbled in a trembling voice, “I lied before…I’m scared…”

Diomedes smiled softly, almost like a warm sun after a spring rain.

“Of course…” he whispered

Odysseus closed his eyes as if instinctually trying to hold back the tears he was unable to shed.

“Thank you…” he whispered

Once again he accepted Diomedes’s arm and slowly marched towards the gates. The gates opened to let them in…into some cold corridor…with no apparent end…

The doors shut behind them…

***

Oh my...once again I was crying writing! Hopefully the emotions get through! And I was once again listening to emotional songs, more specifically from the anime Vampire Knight Guilty, that has some of the most emotional pieces I have ever heard! I was listening to plenty of them, in particular the Main Theme:

I was just crying with it...

So....Odysseus wandering in the Underworld and feeling the pain and pressure of the journey, a random thing that I though would fit! And meeting with the other kings among others!

And of course we have some iconic kings like Menelaus and Agamemnon. Not sure why I imagined Menelaus with hazel eyes maybe I was influenced a lot by art such as @thehelplessmortals in regards to his eye color (and oh boy I didn't realize I also kinda referenced the hug tag thing! Hahaha! I realized it later!). Also for Ajax you can look at designs such as @jacobpking to get an idea of what I had in mind! Most of the descriptions of the characters are one way or another based on their descriptions in Iliad and Odyssey ^_^

Many have expressed their need for more Odysseus and Menelaus material including @wolfythewitch with whom we also discussed at a comment section! This is a bit more bittersweet tender thing but I would expect more would come with these two! Also Menelaus potentially dying young is linked to my other theory about Menelaus having heart issues (their meeting is hinting another story I am thinking of writing in the future)

And of course Anticlea moment destroyed me! TT-TT These two deserved a closure here!

Okay for the afternote now! I hope @ditoob and my dearest friend @loco-bird will find this closure satisfactory! ^_^

***

(Afternote)

His steps were steady. For some reason the world around him was dressed in white. Everything above, below and around him shone as if made of white light. He didn’t feel the pain anymore. In fact he could hardly feel anything. For a while he was afraid he had gone completely numb. Diomedes had left a while back. He had supported him throughout the tunnel, holding his hand as if he were a baby. Every step he had taken felt like a millennia…his body seemed to be suffering with every one of them however now he felt surprisingly lighter. His body didn’t hurt anymore. It almost felt like he had gained his youth again; as if he was back to his prime age. It felt weird but Odysseus didn’t have a mirror to look into. He stopped for one second to draw a breath.

“In the end you found your way, baby…”

The voice…that voice that was ringing in his ear; that voice that almost seemed to be coming out of his very chest! There was no doubt about it! He turned to see that lean figure, covered in her veils, waiting at a distance.

“P-Penelope!”

His voice was a whisper of outmost longing! It was the greatest relief he had felt so far during that arduous trip in the underworld. She was right there! Her blue eyes shining like crystal waters, her ivory white skin shining as always…her raven-black hair framing her face! Diomedes was right! A millennia worth of pain was not even nearly enough payment for this result! He ran at her and just squeezed her in his arms! There was nothing else he could do but that! No power on earth; in this life or the next seemed able to separate them; as if they sought to become one. Their lips joined in a kiss so deep as they hadn’t shared before; death had separated them…death had brought them back together. It almost seemed like they wanted to share their soul. They parted only to embrace again.

“Penelope! Joy of my life…! Finally! Finally!”

Penelope wrapped her arms around him. Buried her face in his chest and almost sobbed if she had tears to shed.

“It took you some time to find your way…” she whispered meaningfully

Odysseus laughed shaking from the unreleased sobs.

“Y-Yes…” he whispered, “Forgive me…you have been waiting…”

Penelope pulled back a bit and smiled.

“We both did….”

Before Odysseus had time to ask, Penelope moved a bit aside and the little brown and black creature with the short fur appeared behind her. His tail was wagging ecstatically full of vitality. There was no sign of flee or parasite on his body. The dog gave a happy bark

“Argos!” Odysseus cried out

As if on a queue his loyal friend rushed at him and Odysseus knelt to meet him mid-way and Argos simply attacked his face with his pink tongue, shaking all over in excitement; giving him the greeting and welcoming he wished he could have given him so many years ago

“Argos!” Odysseus cried out, “Boy I am so happy to see you! Gods! Hey, easy boy! Easy!”

He caressed the fur, squeezed the muscular body and caressed the long ears! He wanted to do all things he never did with his loyal companion while he was alive! Penelope watched with her face distorted in emotion. Odysseus stood up.

“Penelope…?” he caressed her cheek, “My love what’s wrong…?”

“Oh, Odysseus!” she embraced him tightly. Odysseus knew she would cry if she could, “I missed you so much!”

“Me too! Me too, joy of my life! Every second was an eon!”

“And our home…our palace in Ithaca…our bed! I miss them so much!”

Odysseus felt his previous despair getting lost before his will to protect and support her. She was giving him strength as always.

“Shhh…” he cooed at her, running his hands through her silken locks, “I know…I miss them too…and I always will…but…this is where we must live now…”

He cupped her cheeks. He looked at her sincerely as she also did the same; she cupped his cheeks with her hands, feeling his beard.

“However we have each other now…Penelope…you are my Ithaca…” he whispered emphatically

He leaned his forehead against hers. She closed her eyes in delight.

“This is our home now” he repeated, “…and we shall stay…together!”

And he embraced her again. Argos was moving around their feet as if blessing their re-union.

“Oh, Penelope! I will never let you go! Never again! Never!”

“What if…” Penelope hesitated, “What if they send you to Elysium?”

Odysseus scoffed.

“I highly doubt there is much chance for that. I have done many things that no one should be proud of…Elysium doesn’t sound a place for me to be but even if that were to happen…I won’t go…”

“Would you…sacrifice that…?”

“Penelope…Immortality was too much of a price to pay to lose you! Now that I found you…Elysium would be torture…” he embraced her, “I need your strength, my love. Please don’t leave me again…!”

“Never…” Penelope replied, “I will always protect you, my husband, even without you asking…”

They shared another kiss. That earned a bark from Argos. They pulled back and chuckled together.

“Shall we go then, my love?” Odysseus suggested, “Let’s go and wait for our son to come in the future…”

“In many years to come I would hope…”

“Yes…if gods will it…in many, many more years to come…”

He whistled once. Argos lifted his ears and wagged his tail.

“Let’s go, boy! Let us go and explore this new world…”

Argos raising his paw in the air barked again. If he were a human he wouldn’t have spoken truer words. Odysseus took his wife by the hand. Yes, he would take the pain now that he had his wife by his side…his friends and companions. He could face eternity as he should be despite the coldness of the underworld. He had them.

He had Penelope…

He had everything he needed.

[piracytheorist]

Episode 32 notes!

Starting off right in the middle of action, right where we left off!

And some great animation there, too!

The thing about Anya is that her plans are so innocently silly that thanks to her young age, they actually work.

She's right there in front of Yor, acting like she doesn't recognize her, and Yor accepts that because a) it's easy and b) well Anya is a little kid, isn't she?

The fact that Anya is visibly sweating and has a very nervous expression shows that she's worried her plan won't work, and the entire family could come apart right there. She knows it's a risky plan... but because of the circumstances, it works perfectly not only to cover Yor but also to cover Anya's knowledge of Yor's secret.

I love her.

Also, a great way to take the fear of exposure away from Yor and help her focus on the fight! Worth waiting the entire week for!

I also love how excited the entire crowd was about seeing two people "play" with what seems to be lethal weapons. They'd do numbers as WWE fans.

The camera focuses on Yor as she's starting to question herself.

Yes you are! You're hesitating to get close because you fear you'll get hurt and you know that will make Anya and Loid sad! (And of course because you'll have no excuse to tell them but okay yeah)

Anyway. I just like how in comparison to the manga, we see her expression there during her inner monologue.

Yor comments about how professional the guy is with the chain, but then she has no problem using the chain's momentum to wrap it around his wrist and then his torso. Some excellent animation there showing the small details of her control of the chain!

~YOU'VE BEEN HIT BY-

YOU'VE BEEN STRUCK BY-

THE THOOOORN PRIIINCEEEEEEEESS~

She even used his immobilized body to make him bow. She's an absolute legend.

I've talked before that this isn't even a five-year-old roleplaying. She's actually getting involved with actual enemies of the state, helping their plans without them knowing, and having a blast. Her moral compass may be a little unhinged but by god is it steadfast XD

And then. The Grand RevealTM

WHITE ASS LEGS

I love him your honour. How did he even combine all that, I don't wanna know. The rainbow-tinted glasses is what ended me.

Anya Forger, professional heart-breaker.

Again. Talking with a guy who believes humans will never understand each other and who wants to wage another war, while Twilight has his own war trauma? No big deal. Anya calling him uncool? THE SHOCK AND DESPAIR OF HIS LIFE.

And off to the next chapter! Great transition in the anime - I can usually notice when they jump onto the next chapter, but this time I was surprised with how smoothly they took it from one to the next.

Turtleneck guy says he can't pick up Yor's scent? Even though he seems to have extraordinary smelling abilities?

Is that another reason why Yor is so good at sneaking up on people? She did sneak up on Twilight, after all...

"The bones" mentioned above... is that Loid talking about the skeleton keychain? There was, after all, a hidden bug in the store Loid and Anya were in...

Some things never change.

I can't wait for the moment he realizes how soundly she sleeps on his arms because she trusts him and he makes her feel safe, just like his mother did for him :)

Zeb! I finally get the name of the guy! I won't lie that calling him Furseal felt so weird, like, apologies if your name is Furseal but hey.

Anyway. His outburst felt so real. This man doesn't belong in crime.

And of course, Olka is way too desensitized to such violence, having grown up in the family, after all, and I kinda like how she goes like "Yo snap out of it". Endo really doesn't hold back from having women tell men off huh. I also love the baby talk she used with Gram. So cute.

This scene has the very same music used in the first episode where Twilight has his flashback and remembers what his reason to become a spy was. I feel kinda sad hearing it here because I'd thought that this melody would be used as [redacted]'s leitmotif, but its meaning seems to be connected with how people broken by war can find the hope in humanity needed for peace. Or something.

McMahon berates Yor for going near the door earlier even though she didn't hear their secret knock, but in reality it wouldn't matter - unless the assassin heard their voices from outside the door - because the assassin shot anyway. It would have been the same if she had protected Olka from the first moment and then tried to assess how to attack the guy. So maybe calm down, dude.

The moment Zeb was like "How are we supposed to sleep like that?" I was certain we'd see him sleeping and snoring deeply. I was not disappointed XD

Me when proper trigger discipline: 🥳💯👀🥳👌💯👀👌👌👀🎊👌🎊💯

First, good ol' focus on the ring on McMahon's finger. Second, I'm confused by the translation here in comparison to the manga. Here it says "as long as people continue to be people" while the manga says "as long as people are the way they are", and that can have a different meaning. The former sounds like conflict is in the nature of humans and that it's something we can never avoid, which doesn't seem to follow the story's ideal. It's what Donovan Desmond beliefs are based on, after all. The latter sounds like people are currently very focused on matters that cause conflict, and have a chance of reaching peace if taught differently.

I think, depending on the interpretation, it can tell a lot about McMahon's character. I will wait to see the rest of the arc to make up my mind.

And after he says that they're soldiers even in time of peace, the manga treats us to a panel of a pensive Yor, but the anime doesn't.

Stop robbing us, anime team!

Yor tells the others they should keep their shoes on - nice detail, btw - and Olka looks very familiar with such a concept, while it's Zeb who is a little surprised but accepts it. It's interesting what a character not reacting to something can tell about them!

As expected, Yor and Olka are vigilant, while Gram and Zeb sleep like babies. Let them rest XD

Some brand new music there! There's a lot of new music in general. And then THIS!

THIS IS THE FUTURE LIBERALS WANT ETC

The way Yor widens her eyes when she realizes what she just imagined! AAAAAAAAAHHHH!

And BOY we talk a lot about Loid's denial but the way Yor is still going like "No, no, no, priorities!" though. THE WAY SHE THINKS OF YURI BEING PROUD OF HER, THEN BEING AN INDEPENDENT MAN SHE MANAGED TO RAISE WITH A FEW ISSUES, AND THEN THE HAPPY FACES OF LOID AND ANYA EATING HER FOOD I WILL GO FERAL

Someone hug her omg she deserves the world 😭😭

Neither Twilight nor Yor are the only people neck-deep in denial though.

"The man decided to live for his job" yeah right. He sees one (1) pretty woman pay him some attention because of Bond and he's like "Well imma adopt a dog then". Bond's doubtful and rejecting reaction was priceless XD

This is so fucking funny to me for some reason aadshadfhsdgh. Look at him. Brought into despair by one (1) five-year-old.

I kinda love how he admits that he does fear the unknown, and has been simply trained to overcome it and try to deal with what he has in front of him.

And currently, his fear is for Anya's emotional state.

Having no idea that she's actually having the time of her life, even though she hasn't realized how deeply dangerous her situation is.

Anyway, I love that she brought Mr. Chimera with her on the trip <3

LOID HAVING HIS VERY OWN OH MAH GAH MOMENT I LAUGHED SO HARD

He is very seriously focusing on how he can make Anya happy. He thinks she asked to go for mini golf because she likes it, so he followed along, he saw her upset with how she lost, and believed she needed to experience winning in order to feel fulfilled, so he was determined to stay there until she won.

Anya takes him to the library and of course he's read everything. And even if he hadn't, he has photographic memory and can practically read through an entire tome in minutes.

But still, he's focused on her happiness, and he's satisfied that Anya is having fun reading comics. She goes for the puzzle (btw I love the idea of having a big puzzle available and leaving it to passersby to solve it. I once visited a school where they had one on a table in the halls and students would sit and try and solve it during recesses) and he analyzes it, thinks he can solve it quickly. Anya reacts in shock, and we hear a tiny hesitant "Oh" from him, because he noticed her sudden change in reaction.

Oh no. Twilight is rubbing off on her a little too much. You're five, darling. Enjoying yourself is your job!!

Just like with the bullet in butt date, Loid cannot understand why Anya looks so angry now after having spent an entire day having fun - and he cataloguing what she seems to be having fun with.

The way that he ends his internal monologue with his fear of the Forgers breaking apart and Operation Strix doesn't cross his mind once, tells a lot about how his priorities are starting to change enough to even silence his "For the Mission" talk. My mans falling hard.

Anya sees how worried Loid has gotten... and maybe she reads even deeper and realizes how genuine of a worry it is? That he's not worried for her as an asset of Operation Strix, but as a kid that deserves to have fun and be happy. And she steps up to reassure him.

And oh, how his face changes! T_T

And the way he alternates between "Loid voice" when he speaks and "Twilight voice" when he thinks. Have I congratulated Takuya Eguchi for this feat yet?

And by the way, he "justifies" Anya being so upset of missing her mama because she's still a "small child". Because of course only small children can miss their mothers, right? Twilight definitely doesn't miss his, right?

Forget neck-deep denial, this man is deep down the Mariana Trench of denial.

And the "Small Daily Life" track from the soundtrack plays, with the beautiful family leitmotif...

I love them. He can be so sweet with Anya, I can only imagine how he'll end up post-identity reveals and especially post-feelings realization.

The final few hours before Olka, Gram and Zeb get safely transferred! I think you can see the tension on their entire faces.

Also some intense, new soundtrack there! Interesting! The composers have done a lot of job this season, carefully mixing up tracks from the previous season with new ones to create the respective mood.

And that's it for this week! I foresee way more action on the next episode! :D

[mybeautifulchristianjourney]

Living His Word

The steadfast love of the LORD's never ceases, His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning great is thy faithfulness. "The LORD is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in Him." — Lamentations 3:22-24

As one surveys the landscape of life and all its troubles, sufferings, and challenges, we know there is always hope for the believer—"the LORD is my portion." The Lord is always the source of hope.

In our passage, describing the Lord as "my portion" may be a reference to a time past in Canaan when the land was portioned out among the different tribes. It was there that Aaron and the priestly tribe of the Levites were given no land, but instead, the Lord said, "I am your portion and your inheritance among the people of Israel" (Numbers 18:20). It is a picture of a special and personal relationship with God since the priests were set apart in service to Him. It is the same kind of relationship with God that inspired the Psalmist to proclaim through a crisis that "God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever" (Psalm 73:26)!

A personal relationship with God, made possible by the redemption that comes through Christ, is the foundation of faith and the essence of hope. Such divine hope exists by knowing the true character of God. Our passage comes from a time past, but faith brings it into an experience with God that can be had in the present. God's character—yesterday, today, and forever—is that of steadfast love, promising the faithful His constant presence and His unchanging love.

God's mercies show His compassion toward His people which never ends. "Because of our God's merciful compassion, the dawn from on high will visit us to shine on those who live in darkness and the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace" (Luke 1:78-79). And He is faithful. It is God's faithfulness in which we can rest with hope; it is a faithfulness that never fails. When Moses received the Ten Commandments the Lord spoke to him saying, "The Lord, the Lord God, is a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger and abounding in faithful love and truth" (Exodus 34:6).

Love, mercy, and faithfulness are characteristics of God that are available and new every morning. No matter your sins of yesterday, the trouble, the suffering, the challenges today, God is there for us each and every day. Sometimes it is a blessed do-over that comes with a new day. Other days one is given a fresh anointing, power, strength, and courage to get through something hard. And for those who believe, each day is an opportunity to walk in a fresh, personal, loving relationship with God. He is all we need, and He is our portion forever fulfilled in Christ Jesus. Christ is the aroma and assurance of God's steadfast love, mercy, and faithfulness. His death and resurrection took the relationship with God from the past into the present, where He is with you every day.

© 2024 by Bible League International

[carriehobbs]

For alternate love interests, Lauren x F and Alina x A perhaps 👀

oooo these are such good ones!!

lauren x f

lauren and farah fascinate me as a pairing and would actually work surprisingly well together, but would probably not ever happen lol.

lauren desperately wants someone to choose her and to stay. she's more aware of this desire with regards to her relationship with rebecca than with her romantic relationships (that is, she understands that she resents rebecca for never seeming to choose her, but she hasn't realized that her romantic and platonic relationships are also impacted by the fact that she doesn't think anyone else will choose her either).

ironically, farah is probably the wayhaven ro who is most likely to meet lauren's emotional needs: farah also wants someone to choose her! this comes up in her romance (though i don't remember the quote off the top of my head) a few times. she also is incredibly quick to commit to the detective on her romance and is enthusiastic and expressive in her affection. farah would understand lauren's need for someone to want to stay! farah would stay!

the problem (and ultimately the reason i think they wouldn't work) is this: farah would scare lauren off. farah is so earnest, so enthusiastic, so full of love and ready to love, and lauren would be overwhelmed and pull away from it immediately. i said once in a post about lauren and adam that lauren will have absolutely no idea what to do once her relationship with adam actually takes off, and i think that same issue would apply to any relationship between lauren and farah. lauren wants to be loved so bad but would have absolutely no idea what to do once she received loving.

if farah and lauren were to work, farah would have to be incredibly patient with her. it would be really slow-going, and there would be a long period where they're both into each other but not acting on it, and any attempts to pursue a relationship would be met by lauren reflexively withdrawing. (in other words: lauren would become the adam of her and farah's relationship)

alina x a

alina and adam are so interesting as a pairing to me because there is a nonexistent adam/alina/nate poly au that lives in my head permanently, so i've actually thought about how they would work a lot!

firstly, i don't think they would work in the context of the wayhaven books: they would need a much longer timeframe to actually develop romantic feelings for each other (i'm thinking probably somewhere of 3-5 years of working together on unit bravo). this is mostly because alina starts (and, for the most part, ends) book 1 hating adam, and i think they would need to build a strong platonic and professional (because both of them take their jobs very seriously) bond first before any romantic feelings would grow between them.

several months ago i was actually musing on adam and alina's friendship (in relation to alina and nate's romantic relationship), and i wanted to borrow something i said back then because i think it does a decent job of depicting the course of their friendship to the end of book 3:

i think about how over the course of book 2 and into book 3 they [adam and alina] developed this slow, learned respect for each other [...]. these 2 people who are very different in their approaches to the world around them and their work who learn to appreciate and even rely on those very differences (adam's stubbornness becoming steadfastness, alina's naivety becoming compassion)

so they have potential, but they need more time to learn to appreciate and depend on each other in platonic and professional ways before they can start appreciating each other romantically. it would definitely be a slow creep of feelings for both of them (no love-at-first-sight for you, adam!), with a realization one day that you look at this person you know so well and the feelings you have for them haven't been solely platonic for a while. their love would be born out of a deep mutual appreciation and respect.

the bigger question is if anything would ever actually happen between them, lol. when i've thought about them in the context of an adam/alina/nate poly au wherein nate/alina are in an established relationship first, nate's presence is pretty crucial. firstly, alina has a lot of self-confidence issues (both generally and in specific ways that target her ability to pursue and commit to romantic relationships), but over the course of her relationship with nate, she would be able to work through some of those in a way that would make her better able to actually pursue an interest in adam. but in a world where nate and alina were never together, she wouldn't have had this long-term, committed relationship, and would never have experienced that personal growth (with regards to gaining confidence in her romantic relationships). secondly, i imagine nate's presence (and his familiarity with both adam and alina) smoothing over a lot of the early roadbumps in adam and alina's relationship (such as getting adam to actually confront the fact that he has feelings for either of them).

given that, in game, adam is avoiding having feelings like the plague and constantly pushes the detective away, i can't see alina being the type of person to have enough confidence to actively pursue him. so i can picture there being a lot of yearning looks at each other from across the room and almost-kisses and things of that ilk. i think there would need to be some kind of catalyst to actually bring them together. once they got together, i think they would work well.

i do want us all to hold hands and think about a version of adam/alina that happens after alina has decided to turn and become a vampire. where adam has to watch alina discover what it means and how to be a vampire, where he has to support her through that process as her teammate and friend, and as a result he has to reconcile the way he views alina's vampirism (which he doesn't see as monstrous) with his own (which he does).

[marciabrady]

TAGGED: TEN CHARACTERS YOU IDENTIFY WITH (&&&either add what you admire about each, or what it is that connects you to them!)

Ilene Woods' Cinderella: I love how humble, fun-loving, and enduring she is. I identify with her concentrated efforts to put her best foot forward and to try to keep from succumbing to her environment. While she sometimes feels she falls short at leading by example, frayed from everyday wear, she ultimately triumphs against all odds, alighted by her sense of worth, her steadfast industriousness, and prospers in turning the tide and creating a successful counterculture, all of which is inspiring to me. Marcia Brady: The personification of Leo energy; every notable actress who's ever played her is a Leo, and for good reason. She's magnetic, radiant, moral- without being sanctimonious- and a natural leader. Adriana Caselotti's Snow White: Her buoyant joy, resiliency, and never-ending humor create a beacon of light wherever she goes. I love how much a complete individual she is and how resourceful she is in forging a new life for herself, even when she's left with nothing. She never allows her misfortunes to change who she is, and I wish I had more of her compassion, purity, strength, and unaffected kindness. Blanche Devereaux: Blanche turns the act of living into a performance. The simplest run at the grocery store or day at work is suddenly a gripping, page-turning adventure, complete with anticipation, glamour, and a glossy lexicon. She's riveting and, while she has the same insecurities that many of us do, I admire the way she shows up for her friends. Katrina Van Tassel: This character is pure vibes for me. I love how mysterious and to-herself she is, while very clearly exhibiting motivations, a personality, and wants and needs. She isn't gauche in any way, tasteful in everything, and she practically invented the word coquette. Gilda: I think most everyone has a lot of Gilda in them. Someone who's easy touched and still influenced by many of their past haunts, but does their best to keep it from surfacing and letting their emotions get the best of them. I love the glamour and energy that exudes from Gilda effortlessly, and how layered she is. Ethel Mertz: I always think about that quote, "Lucy threw pies while Ethel threw shade." I love Lucy, but Ethel was always the standout for me. Her comedic timing was impeccable, her singing voice was unreal, and she represented so much of what I love about the older women in my life. Her sense of self is fixed, she's comfortable about her place in the world and has discovered who she is. She's such a loyal friend and has the type of talent that comes only from a lifetime of concentrated effort. The Little Mermaid: Ariel's fire, passion, and complicated nature is something I've continued to revisit from the first time that I've met her. She's messy, flawed, but so vulnerable, authentic, and likable that you can't help but root for her. I think anyone who's LGBTQIA+ can identify with her struggles but, beyond that, I love how true to herself she is, refusing to be tainted by the prejudices of others. She's just generally a very active, restless character with so many ebbs and tides of thoughts, feelings, and desires. Rapunzel (from the original Brothers Grimm fairytale): Out of the fairytale princesses, Rapunzel always spoke to me the most. I always loved the princess in the tower archetype and her hair being such a central point of the plot- and harkening back to the sun- is a very Leo quality, in my opinion. I think the fairytale Rapunzel has a lot of the same spirit and energy that Aurora in the animated Sleeping Beauty carries. Mary Costa's Aurora: This character changed my life in so many ways. She brought my best friends to me, started me down the path of writing, and has enriched my life in so many ways. I'm mesmerized by her enchanted, romantic quality, the all-encompassing way she loves, her sense of duty, obligation, and loyalty to those around her, her keen sense of humor, how she wants to give the best of herself to everyone, the unending source of love that springs from her...I could go on forever.

tagged by: @drinksattheendoftheworld (thank you!!!)

tagging: everyone!! but, off the top of my head in no particular order other than alphabetical - @arthina @bettedavis @deforest @deliachase @disneydayandnight @gavillain @magistera @margotfonteyns @muzikalsiren @oozmart @peasantbarbie @princessnostalgia @royalhans @sparklejamesysparkle @the-blue-fairie

[fearforthestorm]

I AM ASKING U ABOUT THE SYMBOLISM IN THE JENNY PATCHES

I am SO glad you asked :D please allow me to ramble for. way too long probably. (original post this is in reference to)

Let's start with Thief because that's the one that I nailed down the design for first. In this design: an hourglass almost out of time, a ring of three keys - a house key, a car key, and a skeleton key - and a compass keychain.

Jenny the Thief is the one who held the gate as long as she could before vanishing into the night, the one who traded in her old car for a custom Kawasaki to leave behind a no-longer-safe house (ring of keys). Thief is the one who didn't know her time was up until it had gone, the one who had to live through everything ending to understand how it happened (hourglass). When she left, it wasn't towards anywhere particular, just away from here, pick a direction and run (compass). Additional note for the skeleton key specifically: that one is mostly for me, because I wear a key like that on a necklace and I thought it fit nicely, but also it's for places and stories we can only guess at, events locked outside the scope of the narrative.

I had a lot more trouble nailing down the design for Warrior - it went through a few iterations. The original one had a sword and a pen: battles to fight and stories to tell. I talked with my friend Sunny @paladinboyfriend for a little while about it, bouncing around ideas; ey said something about Jenny being a bastion of hope glowing like a lighthouse, but burning too bright and consuming herself in the process, and I decided to go with a lighter as a modern analogue to that.

To me, Jenny the Warrior is the kind of person that everybody knows someone like - a couple years older than you and leagues more confident, a steadfast support who's always ready for anything and has just the tool for whatever problem arises ("also jenny is butch, so there's that" - Sunny). She's not an ancient hero, she's here and now, a warrior with a motorcycle and a leather jacket and a house where you can crash for as long as you need. So she gets a pocketknife instead of a sword and a lighter instead of a torch, tools for someone who protects and guides. A pen for countless unknown stories lived and told, for lines drawn and lines held for as long as she could. I added a carabiner attached to the knife (which, yes I know you wouldn't do that irl, it's about the design) because I felt like it filled out the design a little bit, and also, again, in my heart jenny is butch, and it felt like a nice little nod to that.

For both designs, I used the same flat color palette of gold, off-white, and a dark warm gray, since those are the general colors of the album color. I also used a thick and slightly textured brush for the lineart, because I like the slightly more flawed and organic feel it gave the pieces.

I think that's pretty much it, but I can probably come up with more to say about specific aspects of the designs if there's anything else you're curious about! thank you so much for asking and enabling my rambling about this set of drawings :D

[drjameslongjr]

Embracing God's Mercy in Challenging Times In the midst of life's storms, when the world seems to crumble around us, there's a beacon of hope that shines brighter than any darkness: God's unfailing mercy. As Christians, we're called to not only recognize this divine grace but to embrace it fully, especially during our most challenging moments. Let's explore how we can find comfort and strength in God's favor when faced with life's toughest trials. Understanding God's Mercy in Difficult Seasons The concept of God's mercy is beautifully captured in Lamentations 3:22-23: "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." This passage reminds us that no matter how dire our circumstances may seem, God's grace is a constant, renewing force in our lives. But what does this mercy look like in practice, especially when we're struggling? It's the gentle whisper of hope when all seems lost, the unexpected kindness of a stranger, or the strength to face another day despite overwhelming odds. God's mercy is His compassionate response to our human frailty and need. Finding God's Mercy in Life's Challenges When life throws its hardest punches, here are some ways we can actively seek and embrace God's graciousness: 1. Turn to Scripture The Bible is filled with stories of God's mercy triumphing over adversity. Psalm 136, which repeats "His mercy endures forever" in every verse, serves as a powerful reminder of God's enduring love. Immersing ourselves in these truths can reframe our perspective on our current struggles. 2. Cultivate a Practice of Gratitude Even in our darkest hours, there are glimmers of God's grace if we look closely. Start a gratitude journal, noting daily instances of God's grace in your life, no matter how small they may seem. 3. Seek Community Support God often extends His mercy through the love and support of others. Don't hesitate to reach out to your church community or trusted friends during difficult times. Sometimes, a listening ear or a helping hand can be a tangible expression of God's mercy. 4. Engage in Prayer and Reflection Prayer is our direct line to God's mercy. Take time each day to pour out your heart to Him, acknowledging your need for His grace and thanking Him for His constant presence. Practical Ways to Experience God's Mercy As we navigate challenging times, here are some practical steps to help us fully embrace God's mercy: - Remember God Cares for You: Remember that God's mercy extends to all aspects of our lives. Rest in God in difficult times, recognizing that you are deeply loved by God. - Extend Kindness to Others: As recipients of God's boundless mercy, we're called to extend that same grace to those around us. Look for opportunities to show compassion and forgiveness, even when it's challenging. - Create a 'Mercy Playlist': Compile songs that speak of God's mercy and love. Music has a powerful way of lifting our spirits and reminding us of God's faithfulness. - Volunteer or Serve: Sometimes, the best way to experience God's mercy is by being His hands and feet to others in need. Look for ways to serve in your community, even in small ways. Embracing Hope in the Midst of Trials As we face life's challenges, it's crucial to remember that God's mercy isn't just a concept—it's a lifeline. In Romans 8:38-39, Paul assures us that nothing can separate us from God's love. This includes our darkest moments and most daunting challenges. By actively seeking and embracing God's mercy, we open ourselves to a wellspring of hope and strength. We begin to see our trials not as insurmountable obstacles, but as opportunities for God's grace to shine even brighter in our lives. A Call to Reflect and Share As you reflect on God's mercy in your own life, especially during challenging times, we encourage you to share your experiences. How have you witnessed God's mercy recently? What practices have helped you embrace His grace during difficult seasons? Your story could be the very encouragement someone else needs to recognize God's mercy in their own life. Share in the comments below or with your faith community, and let's build each other up in the knowledge of God's unfailing love and mercy. Remember, no matter what challenges you face, God's mercy is new every morning. May we all find the strength to embrace it fully, allowing it to transform our hearts and guide us through life's storms. Call to Action If you’d like to learn more about dealing with life's challenges, consider joining my Lessons for Life coaching program. Our community is here to help you strengthen you by focusing on what truly matters. Visit JamesLongJr.org to explore our resources, sign up for group coaching, or download practical tools for relational growth. Read the full article

[theprayerfulword]

September 22

Psalm 33:18 Truly the eye of the Lord is on those who fear Him, on those who hope in His steadfast love.

Romans 5:5 Hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us.

2 Thessalonians 3:5 And the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God, and into the patient waiting for Christ.

2 Timothy 4:2 Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction.

1 Peter 5:9 Resist [the enemy of your soul], standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

John 16:33 I have told you all this so that you may have peace in Me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.

May you be willing to share the testimony of God's goodness with others that He would receive the praise, honor, and glory for what He has done rather than to boast in pride of what you think you “have” lest it become idolatry to you, for all that you use and have authority over came from God and will go back to God, even your breath and strength, and in mercy toward you, He is willing to remove all that hinders you from repentance. Isaiah 39

May you be willing to hear God's voice and feel His heart toward His people, and speak His words of tender comfort to the people of Jerusalem, God's own people of the heart, assuring them that the sad days will be gone and the hard service of forced labor will be accomplished soon, that their iniquity will be removed and the Lord's discipline completed. Isaiah 40

May you follow the advice of the voice of the Spirit which calls out for the way to the Lord to be prepared through the wilderness, a way made straight, smooth, and level, a way which allows the blind, lame, and halt to reach the One Who has all they need, and Whose compassion for the needy has caused Him to pay the price for their freedom, so that as you describe the path in terms they can understand, they will not be hindered from receiving or prevented from arriving where the glory of the Lord is revealed. Isaiah 40

May you cry out in obedience that all people are like grass and their reliability like the flowers of the field, gone as soon as the Lord breathes on them, but the Word of our God stands forever. Isaiah 40

May you bring good tidings to Zion, shouting without fear from high ground, saying, “Here is your God!” for the Sovereign Lord comes with power, His arm rules for Him, and His reward is with Him as He tends His flock with tenderness as a shepherd, carrying them close to His heart. Isaiah 40

May you know that there is no one and nothing to whom you can compare God, for who can encompass the material world He created, or who can understand the mind of the Lord, enlightening and instructing Him with knowledge, or who can direct the politics of the nations to accomplish the planned goals, except the everlasting God Himself. Isaiah 40

May you lift your eyes and look to the heavens, considering the Creator of all the vast expanse, Who brings out the starry host, one by one, calling each by name, for by His great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing. Isaiah 40

May you not complain that God does not see what you are dealing with or know what you are going through, for He is the Creator of the entire earth, Who is never weary and has no end to His understanding, giving strength to the exhausted and power to the weak, and those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength, soaring on wings like eagles, running and not growing weary, walking and not becoming faint. Isaiah 40

May you, whom the Lord has chosen and not rejected, His servant, brought from the farthest ends of the earth, not be dismayed or afraid, for He, your God, is with you to strengthen and help you, upholding you with His righteous right hand. Isaiah 41

May you know that all who rage against you will surely be ashamed and disgraced, perishing in their opposition to you so that none can find them, for the Lord your God will take hold of your hand, saying, “Do not fear, little one, I myself will help you.” Isaiah 41

Though your Redeemer make you into a threshing sledge with many new, sharp teeth to thresh and crush mountains of opposition and reduce the hills to chaff which the wind of the Spirit will blow away, may you rejoice simply in the Lord and glory only in the Holy One of Israel. Isaiah 41

My child, have you come to the end yet? Have you reached the point you can go no further? Are you up against the wall with no way out? If you haven't, you are nearing it, for the end is where you start with Me. When you realized that you are a sinner, owing a debt you could not pay, with death the judgment and eternal punishment the sentence, you finally realized that you were out of resources. No matter how many years you worked, you could not pay off the fine. Once you finally knew you were at the end of your rope, you were willing to turn to Me. I was the answer that became meaningful when you finally understood what the question meant. When I brought the Israelites out of Egypt, they continually faced the end of what they could do, and that is where they found Me. They left slavery, but did not understand freedom, so they looked for another master. They came to the shore of the Red Sea with Pharaoh's army advancing, and they realized they had reached the end of what they could do; that is when I gave them a new way to go – straight through the sea. In the wilderness, they came to the end of their water. When they cried out to Me to express their need, their fear, their expectation, their concern, that is when I gave them the water from the rock. When they needed food, and had no place to grow crops, nor neighbors to buy from, and their children crying from hunger, they knew they were at the end of their options. I showed up with “manna” which had never been heard of before. They could not see where it came from, nor tell where it went, but it supplied their needs when their efforts could not. Do not fear endings, My love, for the end of your reach, the finish of your strength, the last of your resources, the shortcoming of your understanding, the final minutes of your time, are simply the door into My abundance and provision, the access to the start of what I will do for you. When you run out, I pour in; when you have to stop, I am finally able to start. I will not, until you do. I share My glory with no man, and until you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you have poured every last drop of effort into fixing the issue and still fallen short, you will not see My supply. You are never in danger of loss, My love, but I need you to understand deep down at a level the lies of the enemy cannot shake that you gave it your all and simply could not make it happen, before I will step in and bring it to pass. Once you understand this, My precious one, you can willingly turn to Me at the start, dead to yourself, and receive of Me immediately. I am ready, even now, to start, as soon as you are finished.

May you give praise to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, Who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. Ephesians 1

May you thank Him for having chosen us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight, predestining us, in love, to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will – to the praise of His glorious grace, which He has freely given us in the One He loves. Ephesians 1

May you be grateful that in Him you have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that He lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding. Ephesians 1

May you accept that He has made known to you the mystery of His will according to His good pleasure, which He purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment – to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ. Ephesians 1

May you be confident that in Him you were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of Him Who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of His will, in order that you, who are among the first-fruits in Christ, might be for the praise of His glory, for you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Ephesians 1

May you walk in the truth that having believed, you were marked in Him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, Who is a deposit guaranteeing your inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession-- to the praise of His glory. Ephesians 1

May you be given by the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, the Spirit of wisdom and revelation so that you may know Him better, and that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in the saints, and His incomparably great power for us who believe. For that is like the working of His mighty strength which He exerted in Christ when He raised Him from the head and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. Ephesians 1

May you shout in joy to God with all the earth and sing the glory of His name, making His praise glorious as you say to God, “How awesome are your deeds! So great is your power that your enemies cringe before you and all the earth bows down to you, singing praise to Your name!” Psalm 66

May you let the sound of His praise be heard, for He has preserved your life and kept your feet from slipping, for though the Lord has tested you, refining you like silver, laying burdens on your back and holding you in prison, giving men authority over you and taking you through fire and water, yet He has brought you out to a place of abundance and prosperity. Psalm 66

May you tell all who fear God, and will listen, what the Lord has done for you, for He listened and heard your voice in prayer when you cried out to Him with praise, not holding or cherishing sin in your heart, and He has not rejected your prayer or withheld His love from you! Psalm 66

[ongolecharles]

DAILY SCRIPTURE READINGS (DSR) 📚 Group, Fri July 12th, 2024 ... Friday of The Fourteenth Week in Ordinary Time, Year B

Reading 1 

----------

HOS 14:2-10

Thus says the LORD:

Return, O Israel, to the LORD, your God;

you have collapsed through your guilt.

Take with you words,

and return to the LORD;

Say to him, “Forgive all iniquity,

and receive what is good, that we may render

as offerings the bullocks from our stalls.

Assyria will not save us,

nor shall we have horses to mount;

We shall say no more, ‘Our god,’

to the work of our hands;

for in you the orphan finds compassion.”

I will heal their defection, says the LORD,

I will love them freely;

for my wrath is turned away from them.

I will be like the dew for Israel:

he shall blossom like the lily;

He shall strike root like the Lebanon cedar,

and put forth his shoots.

His splendor shall be like the olive tree

and his fragrance like the Lebanon cedar.

Again they shall dwell in his shade

and raise grain;

They shall blossom like the vine,

and his fame shall be like the wine of Lebanon.

Ephraim! What more has he to do with idols?

I have humbled him, but I will prosper him.

“I am like a verdant cypress tree”—

because of me you bear fruit!

Let him who is wise understand these things;

let him who is prudent know them.

Straight are the paths of the LORD,

in them the just walk,

but sinners stumble in them.

Responsorial Psalm

----------------

PS 51:3-4, 8-9, 12-13, 14 AND 17

R. (17b) My mouth will declare your praise.

Have mercy on me, O God, in your goodness;

in the greatness of your compassion wipe out my offense.

Thoroughly wash me from my guilt

and of my sin cleanse me.

R. My mouth will declare your praise.

Behold, you are pleased with sincerity of heart,

and in my inmost being you teach me wisdom.

Cleanse me of sin with hyssop, that I may be purified;

wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. 

R. My mouth will declare your praise.

A clean heart create for me, O God,

and a steadfast spirit renew within me.

Cast me not out from your presence,

and your Holy Spirit take not from me. 

R. My mouth will declare your praise.

Give me back the joy of your salvation,

and a willing spirit sustain in me.

O Lord, open my lips,

and my mouth shall proclaim your praise.

R. My mouth will declare your praise.

Alleluia 

-------------

JN 16:13A; 14:26D

R. Alleluia, alleluia.

When the Spirit of truth comes,

he will guide you to all truth

and remind you of all I told you.

R. Alleluia, alleluia.

Gospel 

---------

MT 10:16-23

Jesus said to his Apostles:

“Behold, I am sending you like sheep in the midst of wolves;

so be shrewd as serpents and simple as doves.

But beware of men, 

for they will hand you over to courts

and scourge you in their synagogues,

and you will be led before governors and kings for my sake

as a witness before them and the pagans.

When they hand you over,

do not worry about how you are to speak

or what you are to say.

You will be given at that moment what you are to say.

For it will not be you who speak

but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.

Brother will hand over brother to death,

and the father his child;

children will rise up against parents and have them put to death.

You will be hated by all because of my name,

but whoever endures to the end will be saved.

When they persecute you in one town, flee to another.

Amen, I say to you, you will not finish the towns of Israel

before the Son of Man comes.”

***

FOCUS AND LITURGY OF THE WORD

Halfway through the year we are confronted with a daily liturgy that calls upon us to examine our consciences and confess our sins while at the same liturgy we hear ourselves challenged to be agents for God’s message of forgiveness and love to the nations.  Is there a connection?

I find myself beginning with the strong reminder by the Prophet Hosea that God gives the GIFT of repentance. It is grace that God sends, and my only power is to embrace that gift or reject it. If I accept the gift of repentance and really look closely at my sins then I can render them over to God’s forgiveness.  We don’t come to honest recognition of our sins unless the Spirit of God moves our minds and our hearts to that place.  When I come to that place it is not appropriate to flagellate myself or assume that I am useless, rather I am the orphan who will find compassion in the gaze of God’s love.  The invitation here is to turn and really look at God who is gazing upon me with total love.

In that gaze I do discover that my vocation – my call – is to love other sinners in our world as I have been loved.  Not to judge the persons, but to know that all actions that are grace filled originate in God’s will for me. Then I am able to respond (responsible) to ensure an effort of gentle care for others.

Matthew’s Gospel reminds us that we are sent to announce God’s love for others.  Surprisingly that is not popular.  We each want to be loved, but we want it to be on our own terms  and in our control.  The idea that such compassion comes not from ourselves but from God is often disturbing to those who want to be number 1 on their own terms.  So, If I speak a different message from God – if I speak as a prophet calling brothers and sisters to forgive others AND undo the harmful patterns of society that enslave others in one way or another, someone else’s kingdom will be disrupted and I become dangerous and terrifying.  The only answer then is to do whatever it takes to destroy me. (Haul me before courts and rulers that may not be ready to hear what God truly desires.)

What those who are called and forgiven by God must constantly remember is that GOD alone is the ultimate victor.  In fact, the victory has been won for God by Christ and therefore any appearance of victory by evil must end.  It may not pass away immediately or even in my lifetime, but that matter little if I make every effort to rescue those in my area of living. By being as compassionate as God empowers me to be I may be able to convince others to join in the side of the Victory of Christ and overcome the various forms of evil and enslavement in our world.  Such violence will be slow to be removed but God’s mercy is already given to those who recognize the harm.  God’s words will be given to those who genuinely discern God’s desire and speak on his behalf in every circumstance.  Do not be afraid, but be joyful and grateful.  I hear that message loudly resounding in this liturgy and find my heart leaps with the Psalmist who sings: “Give me back the joy of your salvation, and a willing spirit sustain in me.  Open my lips, O my Lord, and my mouth will proclaim your praise.”

God grant me the grace to confess my sins and the further grace to rejoice in his constant love. 

***

SAINT OF THE DAY

Saint John Jones and Saint John Wall

Saint John Jones (c.1530 – 1598) and Saint John Wall (1620 – 1679)

Saint John Jones’ and Saint John Wall’s stories

These two friars were martyred in England in the 16th and 17th centuries for refusing to deny their faith.

John Jones was Welsh. He was ordained a diocesan priest and was twice imprisoned for administering the sacraments before leaving England in 1590. He joined the Franciscans at the age of 60 and returned to England three years later while Queen Elizabeth I was at the height of her power. John ministered to Catholics in the English countryside until his imprisonment in 1596. He was condemned to be hanged, drawn, and quartered. John was executed on July 12, 1598.

John Wall was born in England but was educated at the English College of Douai, Belgium. Ordained in Rome in 1648, he entered the Franciscans in Douai several years later. In 1656 he returned to work secretly in England.

In 1678, Titus Oates worked many English people into a frenzy over an alleged papal plot to murder the king and restore Catholicism in that country. In that year Catholics were legally excluded from Parliament, a law which was not repealed until 1829. John Wall was arrested and imprisoned in 1678, and was executed the following year.

John Jones and John Wall were canonized in 1970.

Reflection

-----------

Every martyr knows how to save his/her life and yet refuses to do so. A public repudiation of the faith would save any of them. But some things are more precious than life itself. These martyrs prove that their 20th-century countryman, C. S. Lewis, was correct in saying that courage is not simply one of the virtues but the form of every virtue at the testing point, that is, at the point of highest reality.

***

【Build your Faith in Christ Jesus on #dailyscripturereadingsgroup 📚: +256 751 540 524 .. Whatsapp】

[bestadvertisingagencypvtltd]

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[the-smoke-in-the-room]

No Easy Answers

Columbine sunset by Jack Brauer

https://www.mountainphotography.com/photo/columbine-and-sneffels-sunset/

"There are no easy answers.

But we should never stop asking the questions." — Brooks Brown

<<<

13 tears counted, 13 lives lost, 13 souls chosen for a greater purpose, (whatever the cost.) We all walk through these halls that were once built up on tragedy. Darkened by the pain, changed by circumstances. They lay vacant and empty. But lets not walk them alone. Meet me half-way you bring a light (a spiritual light), and I'll bring the paint can. And together we can repaint these halls and give them a new name that signifies hope. We have the choice to pick up the torch and make a way for a new light for our guidance and steadfast grace. We have the power to lead through the Essence of our Faith.

We all have the ability

to save or take a life.

Remember,

everyone has a right

to their opinion, and the way

they choose to grieve.

It depends on the person

and how they live to

perceive.

Who is truly to blame

while we continue

to travel down

these darkened

halls

living in shame?

We ask all the

right questions

but one still remains,

in the aftermath

why hasn't anything

changed?

As Brooks Brown

once stated,

"There are no easy answers.

But we should never stop

asking the right questions."

To live a life of

full of compassion,

is my only suggestion.

I really do believe

that we can start

a chain reaction

with love and kindness

or create one that begins

in negativity and ends

in violence.

Are you going to speak up

or remain silent?

"Let's not allow our voices to be silenced

in the tragedy of school

violence."

~ Joanna Stratford

Poem dedication I've written regarding Columbine.

A personal belief of mine is that guns don't kill people, it is the person holding the gun who has the power to take a life. They have the power to pull that trigger. They also have the power to put the gun down, and live a different life that doesn't result in harming themselves or others.When it comes down to gun violence and mental health, both together are a deadly concoction. We need better laws when it comes to gun control and not make it so easy for guns to fall into the wrong hands, and a better understanding on mental health and what the triggers are. Starting with reaching out and putting an end to bullying.I try to think in a compassionate way of what we can do to help a person down a dark path. Understand what lead them to this path and try to give them kindness and compassion. And we all need to do a better job in being more understanding and less judgmental.I don't have answers or solutions to what can help or stop gun violence, but I can offer that compassion is the greatest form of love that we can ever offer in a hurting world.

This is a personal story and something that I have shared:

"When Columbine first happened we watched footage of it as it occurred. My English teacher turned the television on in class and instead of doing assignments, we sat in shock watching what had transpired for the remainder of the period. It changed my life. It really opened my eyes and made me aware of just how real school violence was. I was a junior in Hs. And I was the same age as Rachel Scott. And I always wondered to myself what if it had been my school? What if I was the one that was shot and I was the one that millions of people could see as the police dragged my body across the grass? What if it had been friends of mine that I had lost? Or worse what if I knew the killers, grew up with them and shared classes with them? I couldn’t imagine it. But it made me aware how short life really was. And I realized at a young age how important it was to do your best at being yourself and to reach out to people - all people. You’d never know just how much an impact you can have on anyone. And it’s always the smallest things that matter the most to most people. So when you take a minute or two out of your day to notice or to help someone, you could be making a big change in their life.

"I have never cordoned the actions of those 2 misguided students, instead I try to think in a compassionate way of what we can do to help a person down a dark path to find the light again, so when faced with difficult situations they won't take it out on the wrong people or themselves.Rachel Joy Scott has always been an inspiration in my life and my faith, and I have dedicated many of my past writings to her. But I wanted to make my memorial and poem to include everyone, because I feel that is what they would have wanted.

As Brooks Brown stated in his book: "There are no easy answers. But we should never stop asking the questions."

In the end we can all take or save a life. We choose the path we want to walk down whether that be one full of light or shrouded in darkness. We can all make a difference in the lives of people around us if we make the decision to try.

Remember, "Tomorrow is not a promise, but a chance." Please do your best to live for today."- Joanna Stratford

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 316: We've Had One, Yes, But What About Second Explosion

Previously on BnHA: Deku was all “[powers up like whoa because it’s time to end the fight]”, and he saved Overhaul from getting not-shot, and then smashed up Nagant’s arm with the power of his new rechargeable super knees. Nagant was all “yoooo this kid is crazy strong whaaaat, it’s like he’s some kind of protagonist or something.” Deku was all “I AM A PROTAGONIST, ACTUALLY, DO YOU WANT TO JOIN FORCES AND FIGHT BAD GUYS WITH ME?” Nagant was all “ah shit why the hell no -- ” and then AFO was all “SURPRISE” and everyone was all “?!?!?!” and AFO was all “TIME TO EXPLODE NOW” and made Nagant explode because he’s an absolute fucking dick. And then Hawks showed up, because Horikoshi just wanted to stuff as many plot points as humanly possible into a single chapter I guess.

Today on BnHA: Hawks is all “good job giving motivational shounen redemption speeches Deku but I’ll take it from here” and screams very earnestly right in Nagant’s face until she finally wakes up. Nagant is all “oh hey it’s my successor, you seem surprisingly unfucked-up from your own HPSC tenure, how did you manage that?” Hawks is all “fandom is going to love hearing this one, but basically it’s because I’m very upbeat and also I had the world’s best role model Endeavor to look up to,” and I swear this man stirs the pot on purpose, but damn it I still love him so damn much. Overhaul is all “HELLO AGAIN, JUST A REMINDER THAT, THE BOSS!!” and Deku is all “MAYBE TAKE TWO SECONDS TO REFLECT ON HOW YOU TORTURED A LITTLE GIRL,” which, thank you, lol. Nagant is all “btw AFO’s hiding in a house in the woods”, and so Deku and the gang go to the house in the woods. Video recording!AFO is all “hi I’m AFO welcome to Jackass” and blows up the house. Sometimes I wonder if this manga is just a weird dream.

I am once again reading the Bean version because I think it was actually the best out of all three translations last week. and that is surprisingly including Viz’s. “faux” is not nearly as entertaining as “knockoff”, and also I have literally no idea why Caleb thought Deku was saying the Third’s lines lol

oh hey, Endeavor’s here too! not that you’d ever be able to tell from this first panel lmao

glad you received All Might’s call, mysterious unidentified glowing smudge

oh snap he says he’s weaker in the rain. is that why AFO told Nagant to attack then?? except that as we discussed the other day, I believe that AFO fully intended for Nagant to lose the fight, so him giving her info that would give her an advantage doesn’t really fit in with that. maybe he wanted Deku to be separated from Endeavor and the rest for maximum angst, though

btw Deku’s eyes are unsurprisingly back to the new normal here

alas, the angst continues. I say, pretending like I’m not totally eating it up each and every week and writing essay after essay about it lol

anyway so apparently Hawks can’t actually fly lmao. he was just yeeting himself with style

for some reason this is the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever seen omfg. wave to Hawks, kids! say “bye, Hawks!”

j/k of course Deku is catching them. -- except???

wow so he was just running on fumes there at the end. well, good to know there is actually a limit to his shenanigans, particularly regarding this new “knockoff” 100% OFA. it will definitely not alleviate any of the discourse, but it’s good for my own peace of mind because it’s solid confirmation that he still needs his pals in order to win this thing

anyway, but on to the rest of this conversation, which is basically Deku deducing what we all deduced last week -- AFO implanted some sort of trap into Nagant when he gave her Air Walk. though I’d still like to get the actual details from AFO and/or Horikoshi, because this was particularly wild even by quirk standards lol

omgggggg

she still has a face after all!! so it’s confirmed, Horikoshi has no idea what “blowing up” actually means. we might have guessed, based on what happened to Toga in the MVA arc, and also based on everything Katsuki does ever, but shhh

so now Hawks is all “NAGANT PLEASE WAKE UP, IF I SHOUT MY NAME AT YOU WILL THAT DO THE TRICK”

this is actually kind of touching though because even though we all know (or most of us acknowledge at any rate) that Hawks is a pretty caring person, it’s rare to see him actually panic over someone’s welfare like this

oh shit Horikoshi is really doubling down on it

I wonder how much Hawks knew about what really happened between Nagant and the HPSC. regardless, he probably sees her as a kindred spirit of sorts, and I’m more than happy for Deku to pass the redemption torch onto him now that he’s on the scene. like no offense Deku but they actually know each other and stuff lol

DAMMIT NAGANT CAN’T YOU SEE HOW LOUD HE IS YELLING

apparently being freed from his HPSC shackles has finally given Hawks the space to embrace his own inner shounen protagonist. is there anything more shounen than trying to motivationally scream someone awake when they’re lying in your arms inches from death?? 100% guaranteed to work

!!! IS THIS NAGANT’S POV OMG

SO SHE IS ALIVE. THANK GOD. Horikoshi doesn’t want to meet with my emotional distress lawyer today after all

love how she’s all “just gonna stir up the weekly Hawks Discourse pot here by implying that he probably committed a lot of Atrocities just like I did, so now people can get all hopped up about that, even though there’s no evidence he’s ever killed anyone aside from that one horrible ‘damned-if-you-do...’ situation with Twice.” no one asked for your provocative speculation young lady!! trust me Nagant, our rabbles don’t need the rousing lol

but nice save there with the “so how are your eyes so untainted” well you see it’s because even when he was following the HPSC’s orders he always went to great lengths never to go against his own moral compass. which just to be clear was incredibly difficult, and led to a ton of pain and suffering on his part, because the life of a spy is basically just one impossible situation after another. but in spite of that he never stopped trying to do his best to help people. I don’t really know where this tangent came from or is leading to, lol, but anyway p.s.a. I love Hawks a lot and he’s a good kid dammit

oh shit??!?

how is the League always able to swing all these fancy forest mansions. where do they find them. how many do they have

so Deku’s dropping them -- very roughly, not sure if he was reacting to finally getting AFO’s location, or if his energy really is giving out -- and now Nagant’s saying that AFO hired other villains as well. well of course he did. gotta keep chipping away at OFA’s ninth successor little by little

now Nagant is asking Hawks how he’s able to keep making “that” face. I assume she’s again talking about the fact that he somehow didn’t let the HPSC wear down his spirit

oh my god???

thanks for stuffing this chapter to the brim with good nutritional Hawks Feels, Horikoshi. what a good. he just keeps on trudging forward undeterred no matter what bullshit comes his way. what a steadfast little guy. I WILL PROTECT YOU FROM DISCOURSE MY SWEET SUNSHINE

lmaoooo

“SPOTTED THIS DUDE JUST CHILLING OUT THERE ON THE ROOF WITH NO ARMS, SEEMED PRETTY SUS” good job Endeavor

anyway so you don’t really need me to tell you that Overhaul is immediately starting in with the “BUT THE BOSS WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE ME TO THE BOSS YOU PROMISED YOU WOULD TAKE ME TO THE BOSS” stuff again. but I will go ahead and tell you anyway. so yeah. he’s doing that

OMG YOU GUYS LOOK AT DEKU’S “of all the fucking assholes to just randomly drop in on my life once again why did it have to be you” FACE THOUGH, OMG

fun fact, if you go back to chapters 124 through 160, there was an entire story arc where Overhaul imprisoned and tortured a little girl. yeah, I know!! suuuuuuuuper evil. anyways just an interesting little anecdote for you all that’s somewhat relevant to the current situation

OMG, YES. FUCK YES, DEKU

THEN WHAT ABOUT SPARING ONE FOR HER!!! YES!!! EXACTLY!!! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, SOMEONE GETS IT

HERE’S THE PANEL OF DEKU SAYING THE EXACT SAME THING I’M SAYING LOL

(ETA: so apparently there’s some discourse about this because some people are interpreting this as Deku saying “you should apologize to Eri”, which would obviously be a terrible idea even if Overhaul actually wanted to do that, because Eri shouldn’t ever have to see him again. however I just want to point out that there is a HUGE difference between saying “it would be nice if you could direct that feeling of regret/being sorry towards Eri as well”, vs saying “you should also apologize to her.” all Deku is doing is rightfully pointing out that Overhaul has hurt way more people than just his boss, and if he really is remorseful, then he should extend those feelings of remorse to Eri and the rest as well. it’s not a directive to take any specific action, and I’m 1000% sure no one at U.A. would let Overhaul within 100 miles of Eri ever again.

tl;dr “try feeling remorse sometime” =/= “do you want me to fly you over to U.A. right now to surprise the little girl you traumatized”, lol.)

[slings an arm around Deku’s shoulders] you’re a good kid. I like you. I don’t know if I tell you that enough, but it’s true

meanwhile here is Overhaul’s “spare... a thought... for Eri...???????” face sigh

the struggle is real y’all

(ETA: and that’s... the last we ever saw of Overhaul, I guess? well all right then. I assume Deku will make good on his promise, so we know he’ll get that little bit of closure before going back to jail or whatever, and I confess I’m more than fine with leaving the rest of it open-ended, especially given his character’s history. I think this was pretty generous all things considered.)

lmao holy shit

All Might what did you do to those tiki torch guys?? did you thrash them. did you give ‘em those hands. did you deliver their own asses to them complete with a sticker reminding them Amazon Prime Day is on June 21. we missed out goddammit

so Endeavor, who wasn’t the one he was asking, is telling him that they captured (well let’s be real, Deku captured, give the credit where it’s due) Nagant and Overhaul. and so I guess they’re going to take Nagant to the ER now

fire is no one’s weakness

-- oh my GOD I scrolled down and audibly gasped

[is politely but firmly approached and asked to remove my arm from Deku’s shoulder by the physical manifestation of all this Dekuangst] “we’re sorry, he’s not allowed to have visitors right now” oh shit, my bad. [goes to stand behind a police barricade]

lmao what. did you run out of room on the previous page

what an exaggerated fade to black lmao

-- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I actually can’t see what he’s reacting to so maybe I’m just seriously jumping the gun here lol, but THE HELL WITH IT. the next panel appears to be a cut to Haibori Forest, so I’m just gonna go ahead and declare that Deku ran off on his own all wounded to go have more Dekuangst, just like I manifested. now go call Katsuki goddammit

[scrolls three more inches down] oh

yeah so like I said, Deku is walking very slowly a few feet in front of Endeavor, who’s telling him to wait up. yep. we’ve all gotta be so careful to not just jump to conclusions. I know we’re excited but still

anyway, so! welcome back to Mt. Lady and Kamui Woods (ARE YOU GUYS DATING) and Edgeshot! have fun walking into this obvious trap lol

dammit Deku why are you so determined to tempt fate

[monkey puppet meme faces]

OH MY GOD THIS IS PURE GRADE-A CHEESY COMIC BOOK VILLAIN 101 SHIT AND I’M HERE FOR IT

that’s such a weird way of clapping who claps like that

unlike certain other people who shan’t be named, AFO doesn’t feel the need to inexplicably take his shirt off when recording sinister villain monologues. I think we’re all pretty grateful for that

high fives to everyone who called it!! yep yep

anyway so this whole scene has major booby-trap vibes, which I’m enjoying immensely even though I don’t think anything is really going to come of it lol. probably just another long-winded AFO Speech. but wouldn’t it be funny if like the ceiling started lowering down to try and squish Deku afterwards lol

(ETA: well the explosion was still pretty funny too ngl.)

ffff

[“Dekuangst is the trap” intensifies]

anyway so yeah. he’s just hitting up all of his usual villain talking points. we get it, you’re so smart and you see right through the thin veneers of society and people who don’t conform are left to fend for themselves and labeled as villains and history is written by the victors, and blah blah blah dude are you just jumping randomly from one soundbyte to another lol. literally what are you talking about. what does this have to do with you blowing up Nagant

-- holy shit??

[”Dekuangst is the trap” intensifies MORE?????]

LOL WHAT

BRO. WHAT IS WITH YOU. DON’T YOU KNOW HOW TO LAY ANY OTHER KIND OF FUCKING TRAP GOOD LORD

“YOU’RE NEXT” THE CALLBACK?? THE PARALLELS?? THOUGH WHEN ALL MIGHT POINTED HE MADE IT LOOK WAY COOLER. AFO’S POINTING JUST LOOKS LIKE SMOKEY THE BEAR

HAS ANYONE CHECKED IN ON KAMUI WOODS I HEAR HE IS WEAK TO FIRE?? THE ONLY ONE WHO IS, APPARENTLY

r.i.p. to this particular forest mansion. don’t worry they have a ton of backups

remember last week when I said maybe AFO thinks explosions are gauche. well never mind. he fucking loves explosions

anyway so that’s the end of BnHA, everyone. hope you enjoyed. it was a good ride while it lasted. see you all, good luck in your travels

[whump-a-la-mode]

Ok so I had a prompt idea? We’re all familiar with the “villain is sent to a ‘rehabilitation center’ that turns out to be secretly torturing the villains there” trope, but consider this: scared villain is captured by a kind hero and sent to a villain rehabilitation center, and villain has never experienced such warmth and kindness! Not to mention frequent visits from hero to check up/see how they’re doing. Maybe it’s no good but just a thought I had; I love your writing so much!! 💛🌼

(No pressure though, I know you’re probably busy!)

Oh, I absolutely love this prompt! Evil rehab centers are all well and good, but I’d never thought of one as being a source of comfort. I hope you like this! I was going to do some more with it, but it was already running a little long ^^

Thanks so much for the prompt!

CW//Arson, burning buildings, smoke inhalation, fear of death, gross food, mentions of torture, animal disease

As though singed by smoke, Villain’s lungs burned.

Even as they gasped, they felt as though they could not inhale a single breath. Yet, somehow, they had enough air to keep going.

It wasn’t as though they had a choice.

They were unsure, at that point, if their legs were truly moving at all. They had lost feeling in them far too long ago to be able to verify such a thing. Somehow, though, they were moving forward. Even if they wanted to, they didn’t know if they could stop, with momentum pushing them as it was.

Everything was riding on this. Days of keeping ahead, of leading the chase. If they stopped moving for just a moment, it would all be wasted.

And their life would be over. If they stopped running now, there would be no Villain left.

In that instant, they understood what it was to be a rabbit. When there was a fox on your tail, there were no do overs. No second chances. It was run or die.

As long as they could, they were going to run.

Villain couldn’t remember the name of the building in which they had managed to find the briefest of respites. Despite its sprawling size, there was nothing truly remarkable about it. Perhaps it did not have a name in the first place. At some point, it had been some sort of industrial complex-- the home of half a dozen separate companies, each clashing and butting up against one another.

Yet, the structure had long since been left to rot. They had a feeling that mold clinging to every corner had something to do with that.

Just a week ago, they would never have dreamed of so much as going someplace like this. The air smelled rotten, and breathing it left a sour taste sticking to their tongue. Not to mention the fact that several animals of varying size and danger had already claimed the rotten complex as their home.

But, they weren’t the same Villain they had been a week ago. Stumbling upon the building had felt like a gift from above, and, the night prior, they’d managed to get some honest-to-god rest among its sodden carpeting.

It was the most rest they’d gotten in days, despite the fact that, halfway through it, they’d awoken to a diseased rat with its teeth buried in their forearm. They’d had worse awakenings.

After shooing away the animal, they’d managed to sleep an hour or so more. Then came the worse of their two awakenings, that night.

The shouting voices of heroes.

Villain didn’t know how they’d found them. There was no trace, no trail. They had no vehicle-- instead moving through the woods on foot. ‘On foot’ was quite literal in that instance, considering the fact that they’d lost their shoes three days ago to a patch of quickmud.

But, still, they’d been found.

They didn’t no how long ago it was, that they’d been awakened by those voices. With the darkened building’s clocks hanging stubbornly on the wrong minute and hour, there was no way to tell how long it had been.

How long they’d been running...

Villain skidded around a corner, hissing as their foot caught on an uprooted carpet tack. Had they been this way before? It was impossible to tell-- all the halls looked the same.

The halls repeated, just as the heroes’ footsteps did.

How were they not tired?

Maybe because they’d eaten. And slept. And had water.

Villain had found that stream the other day, though...

Everything about them seemed to be repeating. The walls. The footsteps.

The lies of the heroes.

“Just stop running! We don’t want to hurt you!”

They couldn’t count just how many times they’d heard those words. Lies. Of course they were lies! Or, perhaps, it was their own sick attempt at a joke. We don’t want to hurt you, we just want to kill you!

Villain wasn’t ready to die. Not just yet.

Another corner was taken with haste, and their nostrils were overwhelmed with the scents of rust and oil.

The garage was massive-- reaching further upwards than the shreds of sunlight filtering through dusty windows could reach with their furthest rays. Its concrete floor stretched out, seemingly, all the way to the horizon-- dotted only by support beams, and whatever scattered machinery and supplies the company had not deemed valuable enough to bring along.

The source of the scent of gasoline was quite rapidly made apart. Stacked haphazardly in the corner, red gas containers stood. Their reek alone made it well known that they were far from empty.

But the gas was far from Villain’s main concern regarding the garage.

In the past few days, they had become awfully good at finding exits. It was with a ruthless instinct that they scanned the room for one.

But, in the end, they reached a terrifying conclusion.

There was one exit. It was the same door as the entrance. The garage doors on the other side of the chamber had long since been chained shut, and there was no time for lockpicking.

The heroes flooded in.

It was with an exhausted hopelessness and steadfast stubbornness that they kept running forth. Of course, with their terrible luck, they did not make it very far. A rebar pipe caught their toes, sending them sprawling onto the concrete, pain shrieking from a thousand different, tiny wounds.

For a few seconds, Villain let themself breathe. They figured that, at the very least, they should let themself enjoy their last moments alive.

Their relaxation did not last long. They refused to die laying down. Trembling from exhaustion, pain, starvation, dehydration, and terror, all at once, they staggered to their feet. For a moment, their vision blurred, before solidifying once more.

Half a dozen heroes fanned out before the entrance, guarding it ruthlessly. Faux looks of concern painted their countenances.

From the array of aches and pains swarming Villain, a single one, all at once, made itself known. Something pressing up against their leg.

Their lighter.

Their trembling gaze flicked to the pile of glimmering red gas cans. It was behind them-- only a few steps back. If they could just...

“Villain!” The person in the front of the group called out-- Hero. “There’s nowhere else to go. It’s okay. Everything’s okay. You just need to come with us. You can’t survive like this much longer, you know that!”

No. What they couldn’t survive was the heroes.

But, they didn’t have to.

Villain took a step back, inching towards the pile.

“Come on, buddy!” Another hero called. “What are you so afraid of?”

It was the heroes who should be afraid. Another step back.

“There’s nowhere to run, Villain.” Hero spoke once more. “Just come with us. No harm will come to you, I swear to it.”

No.

Villain wasn’t ready to die. Not today.

They took the final step, until they were mere inches from the pile. With a well-placed kick, and a horrible clattering, the cans toppled from their precarious pyramid. The reek of gas grew tenfold as brown liquid spilled out, onto the concrete below.

Stepping back from the gasoline-- they were ready to go, not just yet-- they reached into their pocket. The heroes had no time to identify the object they pulled out. By the time they realized what had happened, the lighter had already been thrown.

The flame leapt into the air with such force that Villain was thrown back, tossed to the concrete like a ragdoll.

The faux compassion on the heroes faces turned to an emotion that was very, very real.

Fear.

Spreading so fast that its growth could be heard, the inferno pounced, grabbing onto the base of a wooden support beam and licking its way upwards.

“Everyone!” Hero shouted-- terror in their voice overpowered by sheer determination. “Get out! This building’s not stable.”

“W-what about you?”

“If I’m not out within five minutes, send someone in after me.”

“Are you certain?”

“We’re heroes. And, sometimes, that means saving villains, too.”

Despite their clear reluctance, the other heroes, one by one, nodded, allowing their terror to spur them to flee.

When the last of them was gone, only two remained in the garage. The villain and the hero.

Villain looked upwards, watching as the flame reached the top of the support beam and rippled onto the ceiling.

There were only two ways this could end. They knew that.

Either Hero lost their nerve and fled, allowing their prey to escape, or they both perished in the flames.

No matter which came to pass, there was only one thing that mattered:

They would not die by the hands of a hero.

“You’re scared.” Hero began. Another stupid speech. “I know. I know you’re scared. This last week has been hell for you, I know that. But it doesn’t have to go down like this. You can still make the right choice. 

Please. Come with me. I don’t want to hurt you. Believe it or not, I don’t want you to die!”

“You’re a bad liar, you know.” They croaked.

Villain’s lungs were already torn from gasping. The slowly-rising smoke only served to salt their wounds.

Before them, a flaming ceiling tile fell, spraying them with embers.

“You don’t want this! I know you don’t! You don’t want to die!”

“Why do you think I’m doing this?! Of course I don’t want to die, you fucking idiot!”

“Then come with me!”

“It’s like you don’t even hear yourself.”

The building shuddered as a support beam splintered and collapsed. The force of it sent Villain, once again, to the concrete, bathing their face in smoke. As they scrambled to their hands and knees, they could not help but let out a shuddering cough.

“Villain! Watch out!”

“Wh-”

The ceiling tile struck their head, burying them under its accompanying rubble.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 

Warmth... and music.

They awoke to warmth, and music.

The first of the two came in the form of something soft, heavy, enveloping them, making them feel as though they were buried within a cloud. The music, too, seemed to surround them-- there were no words to it, just the soft, lulling tone of a piano, accompanied by the occasional splash of waves.

It was confusion that first whispered to Villain, when their leaden eyelids at last agreed to open. Above them sat an off-white sky, stretching out to meet with a light blue wall. They blinked once more.

Where...

The chase the heroes the running the building the gas the fire the rubble the-

Villain jolted upright, tossing off of themself a heavy, fleece blanket. Trembling fingers gripped the mattress below them as they scanned the world around, instincts kicking in, searching frantically for an exit.

The room was small, walls colored a soft, baby blue, and lit by a pair of lamps with warm, orange bulbs. The few items of furniture were made of a light brown wood-- three small nightstands, two in corners, and one next to the bed in which Villain lay.

Next to one of the stands was placed a small writing desk and chair, while the other was accompanied by a potted plant, petals just starting to emerge from its buds. Embedded in one wall, a window stood, a small radio perched upon its sill.

The door was at the room’s far end, next to their bed. A wooden door with brass handle-- easy to break down.

But guarded.

Before the door, a figure stood-- a person dressed in a bright flannel, from the breast pocket of which stuck an overabundance of pens.

They did not look particularly strong, but, then again, neither did Villain. At the sound of their movement, the figure turned to face them, a smile growing upon their round face.

“I didn’t even notice you waking up.” They hummed. “Good morning.”

There were two options for escape: The door or the window. Neither was particularly desirable, but they had to choose one...

“Hey, buddy.” The stranger’s voice felt almost as warm as the fleece blanket. “You’re looking a bit like a deer in the headlights, there. I’m sure this is all a bit overwhelming, and I’m sure you’re pretty confused. I’d be confused too, trust me.”

No. There was no confusion in Villain’s mind. They were focused on one thing, the only thing that mattered: Getting out of here!

The flannel-wearing figure took a few steps towards the bed. In instinctual panic, the villain scrambled to their hands and knees, shuffling backwards until their spine was flush with the headboard.

“Hey, hey, shhh.” They hushed. “I’m sorry I scared you. I’ll stay right back here, okay?”

“L-Let me out of here!”

The figure frowned.

“Bud, I’m not sure that you’d last another day out there. Not in the state Hero found you in.”

Hero. Of course they were working for Hero.

“I’ll explain everything, alright bud? But let’s just start here. My name’s Doctor. What’s yours?”

Villain only then noticed that they were shaking like a leaf. Whatever this method of torture or interrogation or whatever it is was, they wanted no part in it. They just wanted to go home! To get out! Warm bed or not, this was a prison. They were sure of it.

But, the bed was comfortable, and there wasn’t a single rat in sight...

“How about this...” Doctor coaxed. “You tell me your name, and I’ll tell you what’s going on, okay?”

A trade. Information for information.

Was it worth it? They supposed there was little use in lying.

“V-Villain. My name’s Villain.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Villain.”

“Now, wh-what is this p-place?”

Doctor nodded.

“This is the Supervillain Memorial Villainous Recovery Center. We’re in the city, right by the river. Next to the botanical gardens, if you know where that is.”

They were really telling them the location of their prison? Surely it would have been better to keep such a thing secret. That is, assuming they were telling the truth.

“I believe you’ve been asleep for about... seventeen hours.” Doctor glanced to their watch. “Yep, just about. You’ve been here for maybe half that time. After you got caught in the fire, Hero brought you to the hospital. They bandaged your wounds and brought you here. I hope you slept well.”

Villain almost laughed at that, before a realization struck them. They had slept well. Sure, remnants of the specter of fatigue still haunted them, but for the first time in days, they felt awake enough to think clearly.

But, this was still a prison.

Right?

Prisons didn’t usually have soft beds and fleece blankets, but...

No. It was a trick. This was a prison, and they were a prisoner.

“Let me go.” Villain insisted, though it was halfhearted. “Y-You can’t keep me here! I’m leaving. I need to leave!”

Doctor frowned again, biting their lower lip.

“I’m sorry, Villain, but for now, you’re going to have to stay here. But, I promise, you’ll like it here.” They sighed. “I know you’re scared, and confused, and a thousand other things. But, here, you’re safe. There’s other people here-- quite a few of them, in fact. And, at one point, they were all like you. But ask any one of them. This is the best place for you to be.”

Other people?

“Where are they? W-What are you doing to them?!”

Doctor smiled.

“They’re in our main wing, right now. I believe everyone is eating lunch right about now. I don’t know about you, but where I come from, lunch isn’t a form of torture.”

Villain pursed their lips.

“Then, where am I?”

“This is our arrivals wing. You’re going to stay here, for a few days. Until you’re comfortable, and we can make sure all that smoke is out of your lungs. Then you can join in with everyone else. I’m gonna move over to the side of the bed now, okay? I won’t touch you.”

Even with the warning, Villain couldn’t help but flinch as Doctor approached. They moved to the nightstand at the bed’s side, plucking a small, red box from its surface.

“Hero told me to give this to you, when you got up. It’s not exactly the most nutritious thing to start your day off with, but I think you deserve something tasty.”

They offered the box. After a moment of hesitance, Villain snapped it from their hands, drawing it close to their chest. Was it a threat? Some kind of warning? Morbid curiosity took hold of them, prompting them to open the box’s lid.

Chocolates.

A dozen chocolates, laid out in the design of a star.

“I can eat these?”

“Go ahead.”

Without hesitance, this time, they popped one of the candy pieces into their mouth. Its flavor overwhelmed them, strong enough to nearly knock them over. It’d been days since they’d eaten anything that didn’t come off a bush or from the dumpster.

“Um...” Villain looked back up, closing the box. “So, when are you going to kill me?”

Doctor laughed.

“Hero will be visiting tomorrow. With how long they can talk for, I think you’re only in danger of dying of boredom.”

This was a prison. Of course it was.

Yet, as they glanced down at the box of chocolates, they could not help but forget all thought of panic and escape.

[sortinghatchats]

Character Primaries (the "WHY") & Sources of Narrative Conflict

Conflict in fiction provides tension, stakes, and perhaps most importantly room for growth and change.

This series of posts will take a look at narrative conflict and how to define, track, codify, and cause it using @sortinghatchats Primary House sortings.

(Unfamiliar with Sorting Hat Chats? Check out a broader overview of our system here.)

Let's start with...

CONFLICT BETWEEN CHARACTER AND SELF 

The conflict here is a disconnect between what a character does and what they think they should be doing.

Framing characters this way gives us a potential and a direction for growth and change. If you start your story with a character who is falling short of their own expectations, it can be particularly satisfying to see them grow and reach those expectations by the end. 

For instance, Jason Grace of Rick Riordan’s The Heroes of Olympus books is a Hufflepuff Primary who leaves an insular childhood in a Roman camp of demigods and finds himself meeting a larger and larger world. While he’d been satisfied with his original home and community, he’s faced with new waves of people, magical creatures, and even gods to sympathize with and consider. 

Jason had known his place in his first community, but much of his journey in the series is finding a way to express his Hufflepuff ideals of fairness and empathy in a world that is so much bigger and more populated than he’d understood. As Jason grows more aware of the larger world, it’s a burden he lays on himself to rise up and meet the world with the evenhanded compassion he expects of himself. 

Sarah, the protagonist of Orphan Black, is also an example of a character struggling with their own self and their own morality.

Sarah, con artist and Slytherin Primary, begins the story devoted to her young daughter. However, she has a long history of failing to properly prioritize and protect her daughter-- a failure of a loyal Slytherin's moral code.

Among the show’s government conspiracies and genetic engineering plots. one of Sarah’s main challenges is living up to her own Slytherin standards of loyalty and devotion, and properly being there for her child. 

Jason and Sarah are both positive examples of characters who succeed in growing to meet their own expectations-- but watching a character be forced to edit, reinvigorate, or fail to meet their own moral code can be satisfying in different ways.

The standards a character holds themself to, and the ways in which they fail and succeed at meeting those standards, can drive a character’s inner and outer journey. 

CONFLICT BETWEEN CHARACTER AND CHARACTER

When characters have different moral frameworks, they can disagree on what and how to prioritize, and ultimately which decisions to make.

Where a Slytherin Primary values their own wellbeing and the wellbeing of their closest allies first and foremost, a Ravenclaw follows the ideals they have considered and decided upon, even at the expense of themself and their friends. To a Ravenclaw Primary, this sacrifice is moral. To a Slytherin Primary, it’s wrong to abandon your own.

This basic disconnect of morality, if pushed into an ultimatum, can lead to irreconcilable conflict between your characters without sacrificing your readers’ ability to empathize with both sides.

A Resonance of Conflict

You can also generate conflict between characters with the same basic moral framework—the same Primary. It’s important here to emphasize that Primaries define a moral framework, not the actual contents of that morality.

Characters with the same basic framework—a Gryffindor’s faith in an inner moral compass, for instance—can still have wildly different views on right and wrong. 

In the fourth season of the animated series The Legend of Korra, the main hero/antagonist pair are two Gryffindor Primaries.

Korra, our protagonist, faces off against Kuvira, a powerful, assured general with a strong vision for a united Earth Kingdom. They both come by their moralities through a strong moral compass, internal certainty, and a certain ethical stubbornness– but Korra is the maturer of the two Gryffindors, less arrogant, more selfless, more humble.

The season uses bold, brash Kuvira to show how far Korra has come from the similarly bold, brash girl of season one, whose thoughtlessness left damage in her wake. 

Cooperation is as important as conflict in a story.

Characters supplement and strengthen each other—for instance, a Gryffindor Primary intent on a crusade might be backed up by a Slytherin who doesn’t feel strongly about the crusade, but nonetheless has skin in the game because they love the Gryffindor and want to keep them safe. 

A Ravenclaw might decide on the same style of community-based morality as a Hufflepuff, reaching the same conclusions from disparate paths.

It can add a diversity and nuance to the various stakes and motivations in your story to have characters take different paths to reach similar conclusions. It can make your world and your characters feel more complex and real. 

Commiseration turns to Chaos

Your characters might also begin the story holding the same beliefs, but then disagree and grow apart as the story pushes them into situations that challenge those beliefs.

For instance, a Slytherin Primary’s loyalty-based morality requires them to stand by those they love. A Gryffindor who also values community and loyalty, perhaps, might make those same decisions.

But forced into a more extreme situation, where a Slytherin might continue standing steadfast, a Gryffindor could make a different moral choice, blindsiding the Slytherin who thought they were on the same page. 

This sort of conflict can add feelings of surprise and betrayal while keeping a consistent characterization.

In Smallville, Gryffindor Clark Kent and Slytherin Lex Luthor become friends in Clark’s youth, before their inevitable eventual rivalry as adults. It’s this Primary divide that drives them apart in the show.

Lex bonds hard to Clark with all of a young, healthy Slytherin’s generosity. Clark returns the affection, but when push comes to shove he’s a Gryffindor. He’ll do what’s right before he does what’s right by Lex, no matter how much he likes his friend.

Lex sees this as betrayal, long before Clark is actually willing to act directly against him. Similarly, Clark sees Lex’s partisanship as a growing sign of evil or untrustworthiness, especially as Lex builds more walls between them. 

Younger and less experienced characters are more likely to be blindsided by this sort of Primary mismatch. This might be the first time they are forced to recognize their inability to consistently predict people they think they understand. They are more likely to assume that people who make the same decisions as they do arrive at those decisions by the same reasoning. 

One Character's Trash...

Similarly, actions that are satisfying for one Primary House sorting can be unsatisfying for another.

You can have characters who do the same things but for different reasons and with different conclusions about whether that action is "good" or not.

Maybe the Gryffindor wasn’t ever convinced by the Slytherin-looking morals they were sporting. Maybe they thought it was a weakness, a sacrifice they were making for their family, or maybe standing by their loyalties was the best they thought they could do as a powerless person in an unjust world. 

When they reclaim their Gryffindor moral compass, or embrace their ability to act on what they think is right, they abandon the Loyalist morality that was unintuitive to them.

For the Gryffindor it’s a moment of freedom, realization, and self-actualization-- but for their Slytherin, who’s deeply satisfied and validated by the morality they thought they shared, this can be an especially shocking and confusing betrayal. 

...

Next, we'll talk about conflict between Character and World, and between Character and Story.

[simonalkenmayer]

Hey Simon, I was just wondering something; I'm a christian, but I don't force my beliefs on others or preach to anyone and I'm always supportive of anyone's names/pronouns and sexuality and everything.. and yet when people find out I'm a christian, regardless of how long we've been friends and how well they know me, they end up insulting me and being rude. I know christians have done alot of bad things, but shouldn't I be judged for who I am and not for what others with my same belief have done? I'm just confused I guess, but all the christians I know are really strict and hardcore so I didn't want to ask them since I know they would most likely try to convince me to /only/ befriend other christians

What’s confusing about this exactly?

The people you know have either been severely hurt/stigmatized/ostracized/otherwise alienated by your religion, myself included. And you wonder why they’d laugh in your face and get testy? That’s not confusing. It’s to be expected. You say you know that Christians have done some bad things...hahaha... what a blithe and naive understatement. Christianity is at the root of every atrocity in the western world since it took over Rome and many outside it. It’s not as simple as witch trials and crusades and the third reich. It’s also been a source of deep systemic oppression for women, people of color, LGBTQIA and the disabled. It’s been used as a cudgel for politics, corruption, genocide, colonialism, and on and on. My friend this planet would be a different place in every respect if not for that monotheistic dogma seeking to put the arrogance of absolute confidence in unattainable knowledge into the hands of a few egotistical children.

You’re surprised when people scoff at the invisible man in the sky who lets his creation be destroyed, who made the devil but cannot stop him? The source of paradoxes so deep and abiding they fracture a mind to hold onto them? My friend, that is not at all surprising. Understand I am not judging the beliefs. I’m simply saying “what would an alien say” and it’s quite obvious that an outsider might scoff at those flaws.

Yes, you should be judged for your actions and your deeds alone. Absolutely. But one of your actions was to choose to ally yourself to a religion. Your friends see that as your choice and are stunned that you would make it. They see the patterns they have likely had beaten into them, playing out again with you and defend themselves by pushing you away.

There is nothing confusing about that. So if you are confused, I hope I’ve made their chagrin clear. It doesn’t excuse their behavior, but perhaps tou might see why.

It’s also true that you may perceive critique of the religion as an insult to your faith. Divide the two. Believe what you like but the religion is a blight. The faith can be positive. Religions have a difficult time with that, because they are organized by people who build in back doors and corruption like termites.

Examine your religion carefully and from many perspectives. Examine your faith rationally and from the outside. Ask people why they hate Christianity and what bad experiences they’ve had. Then you might have a guess. I can give you a list longer than the Bible itself as to how and why I loathe Christianity itself. I can give you a list about as long as the book of Genesis of people I felt actually embodied the faith thay is at the core of the religion.

There is something wrong with a mind that tries to find the source of its resolve, its steadfastness, its discipline, its accountability, its ethics, its compassion outside itself. That should always be internal, built and conceived of by the mind holding it. Otherwise it can be set down whenever it serves the holder. If it is integral, it cannot be discarded. Your identity cannot come from outside. Because if it does, it’s far far too easy to crush you. It’s also far too easy to lure you, control you, break you. Your steering wheel is outside your own body. And anyone who comes along can grab hold and yank it over with just a few convincing discussions. You have a back door built into your intellect, and anyone with the right password can get in.

I find it very helpful to listen to people who flatly disagree with me, even if they’re insulting. It can be difficult to do, especially since I am old and feel I’ve had a tremendous education that informs me, but I still listen. If everyone else says the same thing, it might be time to evaluate. If the people you like are willing to insult you to defend themselves, as a knee jerk reaction...perhaps there is something there. Perhaps you are being a bit selfish, in thay you want to be judged apart from the army you inhabit, when your support fills its ranks. See why people do what they do. See why you’re being insulted and evaluate the feelings of the speaker first, before you say “woe is me! This war on Christianity’” there is no war on Christianity. Christianity is a bully and has been sobbing and whining at backlash whenever it enacts or supports atrocities. Boo boo. You poor things. You’re one of the three largest religions on earth, and tou inhabit the most wealthy and aggressive nations. Oh how sad. That’s the way it looks from outside. That’s what the religion is doing, on every network it finds, in every pulpit and pew, our in the world as it recruits. You I agree thay people shouldn’t insult tou for having a faith, absolutely, but I think you can see how it might feel, to find out a friend calls themselves a part of that machine. To insult tou is not right, but I can absolutely comprehend and feel compassion for those who do.

On the flip side of that...religion is about certitude. Christians know they make a choice to believe. So when someone else makes the same choice, it bolsters their identity. It reaffirms their decision. That’s one way evangelizing has been built into the construct and been selected for over evolution. Those Christians who might try to convince you to “keep to the faith” or keep to only your insular circle of belief...have a vested internal psychological need to see that happen. They want you to agree with them.

I’d encourage you to use that lens when analyzing sermons, rhetoric of evangelizing, the news that couches faith within it, and every other message you’ve seen containing the name of god.

Humanity built all religions. Other animals don’t have religions. They don’t need them. Mankind built them. Why? Because the human brain evolved to find solutions, and when it asked the great question and got no reply but circumstance, it built a reason for those things. It personified the world around it. Rain became the tears of giant beings. Weather patterns turned to mood swings. Terrifying events became anger or war twixt titans. And over time those things evolved in the survival landscape of your skulls. Ideas from differing groups met and competed and hybridized. The “god of the Israelites” somehow became the one true god, when it never was to begin with. It did that by appealing to ego. Or rather...men built ego into the religion, again and again, from the earliest points—excluding women, building structures to control groups of people under the auspices of guidance, building power into it like a government. I was there when Luther and Calvin began their attempts to tear down the Church, and do you know how they did that? By appealing to the ego of the common man, in a slightly new way. Their chief break from the Catholic doctrine? You don’t need an intercession. You can talk to god yourself. To you that might sound freeing, my friend, but really it was a killing stroke—the evolution of the thought that not only did man contain the divine, but he could also talk to it any time.

After that, the Christian religion fractured into a million piecess, the fetid narcissism of small differences. Nitpicking things down to a few words. Dividing because one group believes music is bad or women should wear certain clothes, or demons are real, or whatever. It’s all a supreme and visible act of ego. And each man, when he finds his lodging, does so based on what challenges him the least—not his desires or his skills, men are always willing to expand those, but his beliefs. They rest with the denomination that challenges their already formed ideas as little as possible.

It’s been proven time and again—insular groups tend toward extremism. So what happens when a group of egoists who’ve flitted from denomination to denomination until they find people who agree with them and support them, and practice a faith that fundamentally believes everyone else is going to hell...tries to coexist with the world outside? Everyone else is wrong. They cannot hear otherwise, The group turns in on itself, isolates itself ideologically, Indoctrinateds its tertiary members like children and friends, anesthetizes itself to more and more exclusionism and extreme ideas. Period. That’s how it happens. And only with supreme effort and discipline does it halt, shift, or move differently.

Think of ideas as replicating units. See them as automated cells trying to live in a hostile encironment. They replicate through easy passages and evolve literally like bacteria—through a process of ideological conjugation (in bacteria, cells can swap DNA with one another to gain each others’ immunities and strengths). An idea, let’s say “women should be in the home and be subservient” hits a group...does it survive or not? If the group is mostly women? Less chance. If the group is mostly women who have been single independent mothers? Not likely. The idea would either have to be clipped off the religion for the religion to stick, or it would have to evolve slightly to something like “If the woman has a man, then she should defer to him.” But if that same idea comes into a group that is at least 50% male and contaiins nuclear family groups? It naturally appeals to the male ego. It has a higher acceptance rate. The ones who accept it turn around and persuade others. They adapt the idea in real time as they are trying to convince their friends and famikt the idea is great. And then that fans outward until people who are already societally oppressed—the women themselves—begin to accept it too out of necessity and regulate it amongst themselves. And so on. Every single precept of religion—this is how it happens. And Christianity is a bacterial juggernaut, because of that one notion that the regular man can talk to God. If he has a new idea or rather accepts a new concept and wants to spread it or hold it? He’s entitled to, because it might be divine.

This is how religion happens. I’ve watched it play out for centuries. So do pardon my sardonic temperament and my chagrin that this hasn’t occurred to you yet. Religion is a construct to serve humanity, give it dominion over earth, justify its actions, and ensure it that it has access to all the answers of the universe, some very helpfully written down. How very convenient! Too bad the Bible is also just an evolved thing. Look up how it was constructed and what Catholicism did to it before it ever got translated into English by two self serving kings. And then there’s that one caveat that is so tantalizing...forgiveness. Oh Christians know they’re not supposed to rely on forgiveness to excuse their bad acts, but it certainly is nice to know that even if the person you’ve wronged doesn’t forgive you, as long as you’re sorry, god does. No that’s not how it’s supposed to work...but can you honestly tell me thay that loophole isn’t lurking and in play in every Christian group?

But enough discussion of the religion and its armored plating of ever strengthening adaptation. Let’s talk about faith. Let’s discuss the core beliefs of Christianity, because it seems to me that those are what matter to you.

Be kind. Don’t judge. Be humble. Do what is right. Be honest. Do not envy. Do no harm. Act within the laws of your home but keep always to this path. Give all things their due thought and contemplation. Be generous. These are all ideas that help one to coexist, cause little negative impact, while simultaneously building progress. These are things that aid the bearer. So how did these things get so buried in the carapace of religion? Faith is the delivery mechanism. The religion is the viral load racked onto it. I’m mixing metaphors here, but in virology, the virus needs a receptor site to bind to on the cell. Some things can block this docking, but barring that, the virus tricks the cell, binds at the receptor, delivers the payload. Takes over the cell. Humans want to be good. They want to coexist. They want to learn. They accept the faith, and the religion follows hard behind.

Why can a person not simply choose those things? By themselves? No god. No leaders. Just that choice? It’s what I have done. I needed no religion to do it. It’s just good sense. It’s why densely populated regions tend to vote liberally and rural areas do not. The more people around you, the more your must accept the precepts of coexistence. The more rural tou are, the more insular the groups tend to be. The more reserved their ideas about social welfare programs and so on...so why does religion vilify atheists? Why does it insist thay being an atheist makes a person amoral? It really has to doesn’t it? I mean if it became obvious that atheists really aren’t out there raping and pillaging in the streets, but are instead living by their own ethics and morals which are remarkably similar...well...the religion would collapse.

You do not need a religion to be good, and I know you know this, because it seems to me you are trying to keep to your faith despite what those in the religion might say. You treat people as they wish to be treated...as you would have done unto you. You do that, in spite of all the people who claim the same religion who do the opposite, and those are the people who have taught the world what Christianity is.

You’re confused about why people would insult you, reject you, shun you for carrying into their midst a thing they’ve been taught by experience is toxic and hurtful. You’re surprised by that still? I hope not.

Research your religion and what it has done and continues to do. Not just your wing of it, but the whole grotesque leviathan. Look at it critically as your faith tells you to. Be humble. Be compassionate. Be open. Divide your beliefs and your faith from this thought process. See if what you really believe fits beneath the name of Christianity, or if perhaps it could be that a massive, ancient, voracious entity has consumed good sense and worn it like a skin sack.

Sometimes it takes a monster to know one.