#and then by my going into my tag to re read all of them

[deoidesign]

For my birthday... read my webcomic! It's literally free! (Unless you want books. Those are not free)

It's beautiful, it's gentle, it's funny, they're canonically t4t and gay... And it's about time traveling vampires solving supernatural mysteries!

I've spent thousands of hours writing and drawing it, and it's really good! I'm not biased!

It's on hiatus right now and coming back in 2 months, so it's the perfect time to get caught up

[villlainarc]

im such a fool for this actually i could’ve gone a much better route here this is so wishy washy. girl wtf do u mean “roman believes ambition is bad so he’s a dark side” BUT “roman believes ambition isn’t all bad which is why he becomes a dark side” youre a goddamn FOOL me of july 2020

bc obviously what happens is that roman thinks ambition is bad. he knows it’s bad and it is him accepting that ambition can be good that drags him out of this situation

and yes, he starts out being ambition as a result of janus telling him he was wrong + janus being accepted

only, why would the conclusion he draws be that ambition is good when janus, in his mind, is evil?

no, the conclusion is that selfishness, that ambition gets things done.

with roman’s black and white view of the world, how could i have misunderstood him so thoroughly as to believe he just. changed his mind on the fundamental truth of the morality of ambition?

rather, i think it’s a more accurate interpretation that against his will, he chooses the option that gets things done rather than what he perceives as The Right Thing To Do

because, as janus’ acceptance proves, it’s doing what gets things done that makes you the hero now, not doing The Right Thing

so no, roman’s worldview doesn’t change. his understanding of what c!thomas and the other sides want from him does.

so he becomes ambition!roman while still believing ambition is evil. he allows himself to become cutthroat and and selfish and desire things for thomas’ gain

but.

the thing about what happens in this version is that roman hates himself for his choice.

that’s why he’s a dark side.

that’s why accepting that ambition can be a good thing allows him to be just roman again.

and isn't that so much better than the contradictions of my explanation before?

in my head and my heart, roman’s view of the other sides is part of what divides them into dark and light.

yes, patton as morality plays a part in that.

no, i have not rewatched the series in probably nearing two years at this point.

however. i have some recollection that in that dramatic way of his, roman was the first to vocalize the term dark sides

SO i will run with that idea and suggest that however much of a role patton may have played in the divide of the sides into light and dark, roman with his all-or-nothing mindset would have pushed that divide to the logical extreme, giving the dark sides their own specific name and deliberate association with evil

if so much of what the dark sides are is in their name and roman gave that name to them, it stands to reason that he’d be able to give it to himself as well

in dismissing his own interpretation of what is good, roman becomes the very thing he despises. he ignores what he believes to be The Right Thing in order to be loved and appreciated instead.

no wonder he hates himself for that fundamental betrayal of himself.

(yes, this reinterpretation would affect some of the other things i’ve written for ambition!roman, particularly the aftermath (which, tbh, would make more sense w this version lol it’s also wishy washy as it’s written rn). but not much externally since he Is an actor and not enough for me to do this for all of my posts lol)

i wanna hear more about how roman takes his ambitions to the extreme please and thank you!!!

!!!!!!! meri you spark indescribable amounts of joy

,,cue me trying Desperately to remember What The Hell i was thinking about when i made that post last night

okay so context from the original ambition!roman post: “i can easily see roman pushing back against his own failings by taking the ambitions that he’d been ignoring before and just... pushing them to the extreme.”

i’m pretty sure what i meant when i said there was more here was just that it isn’t as simple as i ended up putting it, because roman wouldn’t decide to do something so dramatically against what he’d previously stood for without more reason than “janus said so,” which is essentially what it appeared to boil down to in the post. there’s more that happened before that, and more that will happen after that if roman were to truly become ambition!roman.

to start,, there’s obviously the mental awakening of janus telling him that he chose wrong in pof, but it goes even past that, because janus is at least tentatively accepted almost immediately after that

now, what conclusion is roman going to come to but “ambition might be good, actually”

(note that this conclusion likely wouldn’t be conscious. it’s going to take a little bit more than that to get roman to change his entire worldview, after all, but it’s a start, at least. it plants the seeds of doubt, and all that.)

in an ideal world, i would be able to remember Several More Examples where it was proven to roman that “ambition might be good, actually,” but alas,,, it is not an ideal world and i have No Idea if those other examples even exist in canon, though in my head the world of ambition!roman, at least, they very much do.

point is, though, that roman has to believe that ambition isn’t all bad if he is to embody it.

even when he believes that he is completely dark, there is a small part of him that holds onto the idea of him being a pure, chivalrous hero

and that small part is what stops him from giving up on himself entirely

so! we now have a set up where roman realizes that ambition might just be what he needs to have to get Everything He Wanted (rooooll credits!)

and it’s vitally important to note that he still wants stuff. he’s thomas’s hopes and dreams, of course he wants stuff! 

and of course he wants what’s best for thomas

and with janus’s “you made the wrong choice” spiel fresh in his mind... what if he just did... what ever it took... to make thomas happy... to give him what he wants, not what morality might dictate is right? what if he just... wanted to prove... that he wasn’t useless? that he could still achieve things, still help thomas achieve things?

what if he just wanted to be appreciated?

well.

doing Whatever It Takes to get what you want?

that’s ambition, babey!!

yeah, roman would try to deny it at first. it’s in his nature to denounce anything he considers evil at this point in his arc, isn’t it?

but when it starts working? when the other sides start appreciating what he’s doing for them again? 

when thomas starts appreciating him again?

well.

maybe he is ambitious, and maybe it’s not so bad.

so he starts doing more. starts convincing thomas to push away the friends that don’t do something for him, that don’t increase his social standing, don’t improve his image. he starts becoming just a bit more ruthless. if thomas comes across someone he’s auditioning against, someone who poses a threat to his career and they just happen to be near a flight of stairs... what’s the harm in a little nudge, right? “oh, calm down patton. it was a short flight of stairs!” the other sides—thomas—deserve to get what they want, after all.

even if it means stepping on anyone who gets in the way.

at least they’re all happy now.

at least they all appreciate him.

right?

[poepill]

happy belated valentines day quodo upon thee! originally posted on ao3 for the quodo minifest, this was my valentines for @chacusha, who organized the event! i had a ton of fun drawing them and im definitely looking forward to next year <333

+ bonus art based on the comic by Kate Beaton, Javert is in Slash Fiction:

[shy-sapphic-ace]

Guys should I write a Dracula musical. Should I???

[roitaminnah]

okay i'll bite,,,, but just so you know I am doing these sketches day of with zero preperation..... n e ways... stargazing....

also I re-read maybe I'm not all you thought yesterday (one of my faves) so a little of that too... for sleepover....

[colgatebluemintygel]

WE ARE SOO BACK

[faunandfloraas]

Aren't you supposed to bias seungmin? so why do you make gifs of other members

me if it was illegal to make gifs of other members ^^

[ikilledamanforthisurl]

really fun parallels between Minami & Nishida in which one guy who wants most of the fights he gets into generally has a bit of a dodgy win/lose ratio, meanwhile the other who has only ever welcomed one single fight in his life is the more violently competent

[caramel-macchiatos]

didn’t know there was a tag limit… found that out today though.,,,

[icewindandboringhorror]

Apparently I can meet my goal of roughly 400,000 words in 6 months if I just somehow write at least 2,200 words a day ghbjh... Almost 2,500 today... huzzah...

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

hiki and geki matching post

hiki and geki matching post

[macroglossus]

being evaluated for adhd by having one of those full psych evals that last like two hours. scared frightened etc.... last time i took it i lied extensively bc i was 13 and thought they might tell my mommy if i said i had suicidal thoughts. and i still have a habit of lying to therapists bc i'm embarrassed......... AGH idk. what if i take it and they tell me that the reason im Like This is bc im genuinely just weird and shitty and not bc im mentally ill at all. SCARED

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

honestly i think one of the reasons phirell changed my brain chemistry is that on my first playthrough i started shipping them as soon as he showed up, half out of spite for Oh God Not the Edgy Forced Het Ship Tease and half out of spite for knowing characters like philio are never involved in canon ships, only to get completely poleaxed by him being THE main subtextual love interest while kirell/aam is significantly more ambiguous once you get past balaam's surface-level performance. literally one of the potential last questions on his section of charon's interview--which you only find out is the case on your second playthrough--makes him happy if you say you're fine with just living out your life, and even happier if you say you're open to starting a family. when i tell you i was going insane

[beanmaster-pika]

A sizeable chunk of the fanbase (especially those who read the webtoon) seeing Collei in 3.0: aw thank goodness she’s doing well and even has two dads who are in love :)

Hoyoverse half a year later, writing Cyno and Tighnari into an event that in-game half of Mondstadt considers a lovers’ festival: shit shit shit shit shit we have to no-homo this

[swiftadrift]

Ohhh my god I've rewatched Amphibia (not entirely; I was just rewatching True Colours 'cause I felt kind of bad and Amphibia was the fandom I chose to watch while I process those feelings which devolved into Reunion which devolved into The Beginning of the End and All In and The Hardest Thing)

AND. MY GOD.

I forgot why I called this my favourite show but I REMEMBER NOW.

I managed to forget the whole moral of Amphibia, my most beloved show

I need to stop closing myself off !!! I can do it I can stop overtly committing !!!

I was worried about my connections with my friend that I would've forwent everything to pursue them but that is how things go!!! I must not forget myself and I must not forget everyone else in the process !!!

I'm so motivated right now and this may not last til the next day but I'm gonna write this message to myself and everyone else!

I am okay !!! I am feeling okay !!! I will adapt and change with the world and the world will adapt and change with me and it'll all be okay!!!

[homosexual-fanfiction]

the ~proper~ em dash is kind of ugly