#and then another show this one band's drummer didn't show so a different drummer let them use his kit

[jamiepaige]

Constant Companions Closeup #2: NOT QUITE THERE

(also on spotify!)

b-b-back once again

Round two of the Constant Companions Closeups - a series of in-depth dives into the songs off of my latest album, Constant Companions! Yesterday was track one, Dyad - today is track two, Not Quite There, featuring the incomparable telebasher!

This one's a bit of a dark horse relative to the rest of the album, but it may very well be my personal favorite song on the entire thing so dammit let's Yap

---

For the uninitiated, this song pulls heavily from a song off my previous album called Gummyworm, both in vibe and by very directly quoting its synth motif.

Both of these songs deal with two sides of the same emotional coin. I actually don't want to go into too much detail about it - I feel like the lyrics spell things out clearly enough - but I will say this:

When it's all you know, it's easy to believe that a love that isolates you, a love that doesn't respect you, a love that hurts is better than no love at all.

You deserve better. There are always people who genuinely want what's best for you, who want you to feel truly loved. It certainly isn't always easy - it's genuinely good if your interpersonal relationships have a little friction sometimes - but love should make your life brighter.

You deserve a love that's fair.

---

The original version of this song was actually intended to be on Bittersweet alongside Gummyworm. The original concept for that album had a whole heady concept involving duality, songs reflecting each other, the two halves basically being reprisals of each other... Ultimately, I'm glad I scrapped that idea, because it was waaaaaay too much for me to manage after a couple years of barely making music. Maybe I'll revisit it someday though?

The drums on this song are sampled from an Instagram post by Louis Cole, where he's doing this crazy one-handed hi-hat blast by holding a drumstick sideways. I'm a drummer and that shit genuinely scares me a little like i dont know how he does half the things he does its fucked BUT. I bring this up because he's one of my biggest inspirations as a musician! I'm really big on jazz in general, in case my love for spicy chords wasn't enough of an indication, but his specific brand of freaky hyperactive bullshit just does it for me.

Seriously, go watch his band KNOWER play their song Overtime. Absolutely insane performances across the board. also Clown Core

This whole song is really just my attempt at matching some of that hectic jazzy energy with my own style of music, so I figured it only made sense to make it another collab with another musician making delightfully frantic jazz bullshit - the legend herself, telebasher! I really am such a massive fan of her work, and I struggle to think of anyone who plays guitar quite like she does. We previously worked together on another Bittersweet track, Asemic Speech, and her guitar work is a major reason why that song is still one of my favorite I've ever released!! She's just built different like listen to this oh my god!!!!

Lastly, since this song was one of the first written for this entire project... it is admittedly a case of me shoehorning the album's leitmotif in after the fact. It's a little forced when it shows up in the backing vocals! But, the choir of vocal synths during the guitar solo served an additional purpose - my own voice doesn't show up on the album again for another four entire songs, and this would've otherwise been the only song on the entire album that didn't feature any vocal synths. Thus did I attempt to bridge the gap, as it were. Hopefully it makes the final product feel more natural!!

Either way, that's all for today's post.... i think.... which means that tomorrow.... we're gonna rot.... for clout

[astrangetorpedo]

IN INTERVIEW

Julien Baker, the interview 6/8/2016

At just 20 years old, Julien Baker gave us last year a first album of intense and rare emotional force, the superb Sprained Ankle reviewed here . A moving record that left a deep and lasting mark on me. It was therefore impossible to miss the young American's arrival in Paris and not to take advantage of the opportunity to try to get to know this outstanding artist a little better. A meeting was thus organized thanks to the invaluable help of Sean, her manager, in a café in the 12th arrondissement, two hours before the young lady's very first Parisian concert, on May 24. A one-on-one meeting that revealed to me an adorable and voluble young woman, incredibly touching and sincere, and above all determined to seize life with all her might! A moment of exchange and sharing that I am not ready to forget.

Hello Julien!

Julien Baker : Hello!

First of all, thank you very much for granting us this interview. I am a big fan of your music and it makes me really happy to meet you!

Oh, thank you! It's a great pleasure for me too, you know! I still can't believe that people like my music enough to want to meet me to talk about it. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart, really!

Perfect! Let’s start at the beginning of your story. I read that you’ve been making music for a while now. Could you summarize the journey that led you to where you are today?

Yeah, sure! I started listening to music in middle school. It was rock, I was really into it with painted nails, black eye makeup, all that stuff! [laughs] Then I started playing in bands, punk bands mostly. Then I joined Forrister which is the band I still play in today. We were playing shows in cities around our area. Then I went to college and a friend of mine who worked in a studio there offered me to record with him for free. Since my band couldn't be there, I did it solo, without any specific plans. I put the album out on Bandcamp for $2 or $3 a copy.

That's when Sean [Julien's manager] contacted me and suggested we release the album in a more official and professional way. I told him that I was actually in a band, Forrister, and that no one would be interested in me as a solo artist. He insisted and even though I didn't believe it at all, I agreed to give it a try. I'll always remember the day he called me to tell me that NPR [National Public Radio] was going to play my single. I hung up crying and immediately called my mom all excited to tell her the news! But then, as things seemed to start to take off for me, I started to doubt myself. I felt guilty towards the rest of the band, thinking that they would resent me for doing this project without them. So I called the drummer and asked him what they thought and he said they were just proud and super happy and not mad at me in any way. So I kept going and here I am! I never thought I would come to Europe and do all this, it's crazy, really!

During the band's time, did you already have this desire to write your own songs?

I don't think I had any real unfulfilled desire to do this.

But you were writing?

Yes, I wrote my own songs. But not because the band was holding me back or preventing me from doing it within the collective. It's just that sometimes you write songs but they don't fit the moment. So I put those lyrics aside, like that, without any specific goal. I've always written and played in different bands. There was enough space for all that, things didn't have to be done exclusively in one framework or another.

Were your parents musicians?

Not really. Well my dad bought me a guitar and showed me how to play it. So I started playing by practicing at home on my own. I also took piano lessons but for a very short time. My teacher didn't really like me because I didn't work hard enough. I just played by ear without wanting to learn to read music and he didn't like that. So I taught myself. But my parents were big music fans. They played records all the time at home. When I was younger I wanted to go to a concert, my dad would come with me to make sure I was safe! He was the only adult in the middle of all these tattooed and pierced kids! [laughs] Oddly enough it never bothered me. When he made a surprise appearance at the Bowery Ballroom for my concert in New York, I was so proud! He and my mom have always been a great support!

This is really great!

Yes I know !

In addition to being an author and composer, you are also a student. Are you still going to university?

I just finished my semester. It's currently summer vacation. But I think I'm going to take a break in the fall. I completed the theoretical part of my literature course thanks to online courses. The last thing I need to fully validate my teaching diploma is the practical part, in school with students. I tried to do it last fall but it's complicated to carry out both projects at the same time: give lessons during the week then take a plane to California or New York on the weekend to play a concert, before returning to teach on Monday morning! So I'm going to take a break to devote all my time to music.

Do you want to teach one day?

I think I would really enjoy teaching. I love it. As a teenager I was a summer camp counselor, I love children. So yes it would be really cool to teach!

You studied literature. Did that influence your way of writing?

Yes, totally! I try to feed myself as much as I can from all these different ways of perceiving life and emotions that I find in books. It enriches me intellectually speaking. I have the feeling of learning new things about myself each time I discover a new author and this is then reflected in my writing I think, consciously or unconsciously.

Are you familiar with French literature?

Voltaire! I often joke with my professor friends that I would really like to have a big Voltaire and Cervantes tattoo! I already have a Gabriel Garcia Marquez tattoo [Julien then shows me his 2-part tattoo on the inside of his 2 wrists]…

Is he your favorite writer?

One of my favorites, I can't choose just one! And so when my students would complain that Voltaire is an old man who's not cool, I could show them my Voltaire tattoo and prove to them that it's really cool! [laughs] Reading Candide really changed my life. It was incredible! I think the translation of the title is The Optimist , which is quite ironic. Cervantes wrote Don Quixote and we have this word in English, "quixotic" which means optimistic but optimistic to the extreme, to the point where even if everything is going wrong in your life and you know it, you continue to believe in it despite everything. There is a really romantic and admirable dimension to that attitude I find. Same for Candide where there is this quote that I always come back to when I feel really bad and which says: "I wanted to kill myself a hundred times, but I still loved life" . I think I cried when I first read that sentence. Anyway, I could talk about literature for hours, don't drag me down that dangerous path! [laughs]

Haha, ok. So back to the music! Listening to your album I couldn't help but think of two other artists I really like: Sharon Van Etten and TORRES…

I love TORRES!

Me too! I even did my very first interview with her!

Wow! She's amazing!

Do you agree with this comparison even if the artists in question do not come from the same scene as you?

I totally agree with this comparison! As a teenager I only listened to punk and thought that anything that wasn't punk was worthless. Then I grew up as a musician and learned to appreciate all styles. When you really love music, you love an artist as long as their music is honest and good, no matter what the style. It doesn't matter if it's hip hop or country or whatever!

I totally agree!

And so I'm a big fan of TORRES! I loved her first album, the one before Sprinter . The song Honey is the very first one I heard from her.

The same !

And oh my god, what a song! I played with her in Chicago, I was added as the opening act at the very last minute, I felt so honored! On my way to the dressing room, I ran into her and as I was saying "Oh sorry, I don't want to bother you" she said "No, come on, this is a shared space, you have as much right to be here as I do" and she kindly invited me in. As for Sharon, it's funny because the first time I met her, she asked me to have lunch with her, can you imagine having lunch in New York with Sharon Van Etten! And she told me she was also going to invite her friend Mackenzie [Mackenzie Scott aka TORRES]. But our phones died and we couldn't get a hold of her. So in Chicago TORRES couldn't make the connection, I was just the little girl at the door!

Excellent! Are there any other musical influences that you would claim?

Do you know David Banzan?

Nope…

Ok. There's a band called Pedro The Lion and David Bazan is the lead singer. He influenced me quite a bit. And do you know Death Cab For Cutie?

Yes of course !

They were the first non-punk band I listened to. At the time I only listened to loud and fast music, but when I heard Transatlanticism for the first time it was a shock, everything changed. They really meant a lot to me.

Your texts are very strong and very personal. When you wrote them, did you think about the impact they could have on those around you first and then on the general public?

Well, at first, I didn't imagine that this solo album would lead me anywhere, I was convinced that my music would only be made with my band Forrister. So when I released the album on Bandcamp, I really thought that only my friends would listen to it. So I wrote all these songs like that, just for me, without really thinking about the scope of the lyrics. And I'm ultimately happy that I didn't think about it because if I had known what was waiting for me, I think I would have most certainly changed things, I would have probably been more reserved in my words. But if it's difficult for me to show my vulnerability, I realize that it's totally worth it when young people come up to me after concerts to tell me that my music has helped them in difficult times in their lives. It's of course a little embarrassing for me to share such intimate things but if these things make others feel good, then I think it's worth it in the end.

But isn't it a little scary to expose yourself so completely naked and transparent? It's so brave, I don't know if I could do it myself!

Well, you see, it's exactly the same for me, I'm not sure I would have been able to do it if I had known everything in advance! But now that it has happened, I feel that from now on I have the right, the license to be brave. Perhaps it was the plans of destiny or God, something like that.

And isn't it too difficult for you to sing songs every day that inevitably bring you back to painful moments?

I think there are two options. Option one: I can sing these songs every night, let them take me back in time and feel sorry for myself. Option two: there is the quote from this poet that I love who says that all the horrible things in life just need to be seen from a different and courageous perspective. Things that seem bad can indeed turn out to be good in the end. So I have chosen to let the dark and sad aspects of my songs become pretexts to be positive and happy. Because yes, all these things have happened to me but if that had not been the case, I probably would never have written these lyrics and I would not be here today in Paris talking to you, Laurence! In the grand scheme of things, everything has a meaning and works for our good in the end.

That's very beautiful what you say! [laughs] To talk about lighter things, this is your first time in Europe, isn't it?

Yes !

How do you feel?

I love it! I have such a good time. Well I don't sleep much... [laughs]

Is it the time difference or the excitement?

Well now it's the excitement! But a week ago it was also the jet lag [laughs]. Imagine, we traveled for over 30 hours straight to get here! I first took a plane to Richmond and then a train to Washington DC. We then took a flight to Iceland where we took another flight to Copenhagen. Once there we took a train but due to a problem on the tracks we had to take a bus that took us to another train! When we arrived at the hotel, we were totally exhausted! [laughs] It was 11 o'clock in the evening but at that time of year the sun hadn't set because we were so far north and my body didn't understand anything at all! But hey after a good night's sleep everything was better! And now if I don't sleep it's just because I don't want to miss anything, not a single minute you know! I thought I would never be able to afford to travel and once again it seems that Destiny's plans are extraordinarily kind to me. I feel so grateful and lucky!

And that's just the beginning!

I hope so! But you know, even if everything had to stop, well in any case it would have been much, much more than I could have imagined! I am so grateful for everything that is happening to me!

Are there any particular places you want to discover?

Sean has been here before and wants to show me places he liked. Today he took me to see the Sacré-Cœur which is beautiful. On my side, there are also places I would like to visit, especially in Barcelona, ​​because I am majoring in Spanish literature. I would like to go to the café where Picasso had his very first exhibition, long before he was famous. I would also like to see the Sagrada Familia, Gaudi's work, visit a museum, buy a Viva Cataluña t-shirt and eat paella. I am so excited to be able to do all these things!

That's great! But it's going to take you some time to do all of this!

We are staying there for the whole festival [Primavera Sound Festival]. So we should have some time. Of course we won't sleep much because in the evening I also want to attend the concerts!

You'll sleep when you get home!

Exactly! Since I am a big coffee drinker, one of my friends gave me a badge for my jacket that says "I will sleep when I am dead" ! [laughs] There are indeed so many things to experience in one life! [laughs]

And what are your plans for after the European tour?

We're actually going to be touring until the end of the year.

Will you come back to Europe?

We're going to Australia in November I think. I can't wait! We're also going to tour the States so as for Europe I don't really know... And then I hope to have some free time early next year. I'm always writing new songs that I play live. I must have 30 demos on my computer and I'd really like to record them. So it would be great if I could get into the studio early next year!

Last question: do you have one or more musical recommendations to share with us?

Lucy Dacus!

Oh I love it!

We played together in Washington DC. I had never heard her songs before Washington and I remember hearing the lyrics to Map On A Wall which say "I hope good comes from good and good comes from bad anyway" and I started crying all by myself watching her play. Her music is so beautiful, so powerful! And we have so much in common: questions of spirituality, sexuality and faith, questions about gender too and the place of girls in rock music. We are really like two halves of the same person. We have the same booker and were approached by the same label. And when I saw her again in Richmond I knew we operated exactly the same way. So our biggest fear is that we will one day become jaded and arrogant. We want to remain grateful, sincere and enthusiastic. There are so many people who do this for a long time and end up jaded. It's really great to find someone who feels exactly the same way you do, and that's the case with Lucy. We're platonic soulmates! She's a very, very dear friend.

You must tell her at all costs to come and shoot in Europe and in Paris because there are people waiting for her here!

Promise! I'll send her a message as soon as I have wifi!

Lucy Dacus! A perfect choice! Thank you very much Julien!

Thank you! It was great!

photos by jean-marc ferré 📸

interview by lolo from paris (who has great footage of that paris show on his youtube account) 📝

wayback link for the interview 🔗

[steddieas-shegoes]

jeff

for @corrodedcoffinfest prompt 'jeff'

rated t | 782 words | no cw | tags: jeff backstory, friendship

🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸

When Jeff was only three years old, his dad let him play on his drum set. He wasn't naturally talented, but he had passion, and his dad told him that would get him far.

But when he was five, his uncle introduced him to guitar and that was a different story.

He was frustrated at first, his tiny hands unable to make the same sounds his uncle could. He could barely even hold it right, small even for his age despite both of his parents being taller than average. Even more frustrating was that his older brother could already play and he was good.

His uncle always said James was gonna be a rock star, make everyone proud, solos on stage for sold out arenas.

But James didn't even want that. He wanted to be a teacher.

Jeff wanted to be on stage.

So he practiced. He took lessons. He watched his uncle play at every family gathering.

And when he felt confident, he joined him, eight years old and playing almost as well as James, if not better.

His uncle changed his tune after that. He came over twice a week to have jam sessions with Jeff, impressed with his ability to teach himself complicated chords.

And then Jeff started singing along to a song while they played and his uncle froze.

"You can sing too?"

"Sometimes." Jeff shrugged.

"If you can sing and play, you can do just about anything."

****

When Jeff is 16, he decides to start a band. Playing at church and school functions alone just isn't gonna get him what he wants. He wants to be heard by the right person and the right person isn't sitting in a pew or high school auditorium.

His friend Frankie plays bass pretty well and he already agreed to do it until he left for college.

Finding a drummer was another story. It took months.

He found a second guitarist before he found a drummer.

For a while, he considered trying to learn drums beyond a basic beat just so they could actually get a chance to play on a real stage.

Luckily, their second guitarist Eddie was able to find someone by hanging around the band room after school.

Gareth was barely 15 and had a curfew that would make elementary school kids weep for him. But it was a start.

Jeff found some places to play the next town over: a festival that wanted local talent and didn't know what they were getting into and a restaurant with a patio that had live bands twice a week.

It was a start.

He put everything into making sure they had eyes on them.

Frankie and Eddie could see how much he was trying, but they didn't have the connections he did and couldn't contribute in the same way. Most people in town didn't really like the Munsons at all, even though Wayne had always been one of the kindest people around. Jeff had to carry the load for all of them, but he didn't mind.

On his 17th birthday, he convinced the owner of The Hideout to let them play on Thursday nights. He said everyone in the band was 18 and they wouldn't go near the bar.

The owner didn't believe him, but he was desperate to get people in the bar.

Their first show was awful, but Jeff's entire family was there, cheering them on.

Their second show was better, Wayne smiling at them from a table in the back as he nodded along to music he didn't actually know.

Every show got better, and when Jeff actually turned 18, Eddie made the entire crowd sing happy birthday to him. The bar owner watched from behind the bar shaking his head as the largest crowd he'd had in years stood singing.

Even when Jeff started to lose hope that they would make it, he kept trying. He played his heart out every time he hit the stage, just like the other guys.

But just when it looked like they'd have to give it up, when Eddie was facing false murder charges, and Jeff and Frankie were ready to graduate, Steve Harrington stepped in. None of them had been his biggest fan until Eddie told them he saved his life.

Steve's mom was a lawyer and while she didn't have many connections in the music industry, the ones she had were interested. Metal was a growing genre and they needed young talent to mold into exactly what they wanted.

Jeff hoped they were already formed into the perfect band.

Months later, when they're recording in a real studio with professionals, Jeff smiles at his band.

They made it.

[jokeroutsubs]

[ENG translation] "Joker Out: We won't make dolls out of ourselves"

This is an interview with Joker Out that was published the day after the Misija Liverpool programme, where they presented Carpe Diem for the first time. We're posting it to commemorate its one year anniversary!

Original article published in Delo newspaper on 5.2.2023, available online here for Delo subscribers. Article written by Gašper Završnik and Agata Rakovec Kurent; photos by Voranc Vogel and Katja Kodba; English translation by a member of Joker Out Subs, native proof reading by IG GBoleyn123. Also available in audio version on our podcast, read by IG GBoleyn123.

After conquering Slovenia, Joker Out, currently the hottest Slovenian band, is now also conquering the world. They talked about recognisability, Eurovision, and days that should be seized.

Singer Bojan Cvjetićanin, guitarists Kris Guštin and Jan Peteh, drummer Jure Maček and bassist Nace Jordan are Joker Out, currently our most in-demand musical fivesome. They've almost sold out the concert in Stožice in October already, and it seems like the boys have already reached the sky as the limit in Slovenia. Now, it's time for the world. Yesterday evening, in the Misija Liverpool ('Mission Liverpool') programme on Televizija Slovenija ('Television Slovenia', Slovenian national TV), they presented Carpe Diem, the song with which they will represent us at the Eurovision Song Contest in Liverpool in May, for the first time.

Select members of the media already heard it a week before, at Saturday's recording of the programme, and we had the chance to talk to the band members afterwards. We talked about looking for the Eurovision formula, about what one has left after Stožice, about the burden of fame, as well as about how we should love, dance, enjoy, and care for one another while we can.

When did you warm up to Eurovision, which is often kind of stigmatised among rockers? Did the success of Måneskin perhaps have something to do with it?

Kris: We've been warming up our whole lives, because we're all pretty fervent Eurovision fans. I make time every May to watch the semi-finals and the final. We didn't go to Eurovision because Måneskin made it. They did prove that Eurovision is not as limited in genre anymore and that rock bands can participate too, but we're going to Liverpool because it's now the right time for us to start expanding our horizons outside of Slovenian borders, and Eurovision is the most optimal thing we can do at the moment.

Today (a.n.: we talked on Saturday, the 31st of Janurary) you presented the song to the audience in the national television's studio, in one week, all of Slovenia will hear it for the first time. How are you feeling?

Nace: The best part was standing on the stage when we played the song for the first time.

Jure: That's true, so much effort suddenly paid off.

When did you make Carpe Diem?

Bojan: The song was recorded in December in Hamburg, and the final mixings or masterings were happening all the way to the finish line just before the show, but it's always like that. We've listened to the song a million times, and when we played it for the first time, I was still proud of this song and I still liked it. People visibly reacted to it very well, and then audibly too. What more could we ask for?

What is the main message of the song that you wish to impart on expanded Europe and Australia?

Jan: Let's love, dance, enjoy, and care for one another while we can.

Kris: Despite the hostility that surrounds us.

With that, do you mean the Russian aggression in Ukraine?

Kris: Not necessarily.

Jan: Not explicitly. Anything that gives rise to thoughts that do no good.

This time, when you were creating, did you have a different audience in mind, were you searching for the Eurovision formula?

Jan: While making the song Carpe Diem, we were mainly thinking about how we must not focus on the fact that it's a Eurovision song. We wanted to make a song that is ours and represents us. Our purpose isn't just to go to Liverpool, rather, we want to present ourselves to the wider European audience, and I hope that they will accept us the way we are as much as possible.

In Slovenia, you're the hottest name on the scene right now. Isn't Eurovision, where, after all, you could also come 27th, a risky move? Why not just rest on your laurels?

Bojan: I think that resting on our laurels, especially at our age, would be the worst possible decision. It would make us a band that isn't in this business because they want to create, but a band that wants to rest on laurels.

Even if we happen to come 27th, it absolutely won't devalue everything we have managed to do so far and are planning to do in the future. This is just another competition and in fact, someone has to be 27th, that's a totally normal part of life. If it happens, we will definitely be sad, broken-hearted, and stricken, but it won't crush us.

A promotional tour awaits you as well; you're supposed to perform in Madrid, Barcelona, Warsaw, and Amsterdam. What else are you preparing to make Europe and the bookmakers pay attention to you before May?

Kris: If anything, we will convince the media when they get to know us and get an idea of who we are and what this thing even is, that we call shagadelic rock'n'roll. Madrid, Barcelona, Warsaw, and Amsterdam offer an excellent chance for us to showcase ourselves to international media, which is a very important aspect of getting votes for Eurovision, as well as establishing an image and a backing before you step onto the big stage.

Jan: Anything we say, release, or present will be genuine and honest. We won't make dolls out of ourselves. We want Europe to get to know us as we are.

One of the important aspects of Eurovision, in which Slovenia almost never stood out, is staging. How will you approach that, what will the core idea be? The Eurovision stage offers pretty much anything a musician can think of.

Kris: You can do anything if the budget lets you. The performance is for sure one of the most important things, but up until this moment, when we finished filming the show [Misija Liverpool] and the music video, we haven't focused on it yet. On the 4th of February, we will start intense rehearsals, we have some basic ideas. We want to build on the chemistry of our performance, more so than on glamour, confetti, and lights.

Jan: Being able to invest millions into the staging and public relations certainly doesn't hurt. We, however, definitely don't have them, so we will try to convince the audience with a good idea, a bit. We haven't been able to focus on that yet due to other obligations, though.

There's been some controversy over the fact that RTV (Slovenian national television) invited you to participate without you having won EMA first, as there is no Slovenian national selection for Eurovision this year. What can you say about this controversy, were you planning to sign up for EMA this year if it had happened, and is a direct invitation the optimal way to choose the Slovenian Eurovision representative?

Kris: Depends on who you ask. It might not have been optimal for us either. If we won EMA, going to Eurovision would be easier for us, because the song would've received more tangible support from the Slovenian public. As it is, we feel much more pressure to prove ourselves.

Jan: On the other hand, I don't remember a single EMA winner who was accepted by the majority of the public. Whoever won in the past 15 years that I've been following EMA got dragged through the mud. Unfortunately, this is something that's hard to avoid.

Kris: EMA and Eurovision are divisive things. Any way you slice it, someone will always be against it and someone will be for it.

Bojan: Our plan was to sign up for EMA this year, and then we got the call that we could go to Eurovision if we wanted. We wanted to go and that is why we're going. I have also said a few times already that EMA, back when we started watching it, used to be a prestigious event that the most successful and promising musicians signed up for, but in the recent years, that has absolutely changed.

My personal opinion is that just because you have a song and can sign up for EMA, that doesn't mean you've been robbed because there's no EMA. Something that has kind of spread around is that we have a lot of musicians who aren't actually active, but rather wait for EMA every year. They don't have concerts or other events in Slovenia and they practically only appear in tabloids.

I'm very sorry if we offended anyone, but I did get a lot of messages from the musicians that we, and I think most of the Slovenian audience as well, value the most, and they very much support RTV's decision.

Why will you sing in Slovenian and not in English? Is that smart?

Jure: I think that is the best decision we've made. We're representing Slovenia and we want to stand behind that. More people would probably understand us if the song were in English.

Bojan: Probably. (laughter)

Jure: I think that our song and our energy on the stage will show enough to make a good impression.

Bojan: If we got this opportunity and honour of Slovenia sending us to Eurovision directly, we think it's right to represent it in the local language.

It often seemed like Slovenian representatives were happy just to perform at Eurovision, and often used the smallness of the country as an excuse for their result. This year, it seems like you're approaching things in a more ambitious way, it feels like you're not interested in having a supporting role. Is that a wrong impression?

Jan: If Slovenian basketball players, who won the European Championship, didn't use the smallness as an excuse, then we have no reason to do it either. It might even be an advantage that we are "boutique".

What would be a satisfying result for you in Liverpool?

Jan: We definitely want to get into the final.

Kris: Top five.

Jure: I would consider the final a success. If we get into the final, we'll be more than happy.

Bojan: I'm thinking about a victory, and you can only go downhill from there. (laughter) I think that there's no placement for which you'd say "this is it" at the end, but the fact is that we won't place any better than we deserve.

It's probably not a coincidence that while you were recording the Eurovision song in Hamburg, you also prepared an English version of the album. Is that, as well as the Eurovision performance itself, a sign that Slovenia has become too small for you and you're interested in going abroad?

Jan: Good job connecting the dots.

Kris: Definitely. Our ambition lies in any market that is ready to have us. That's why we also recorded an English album in Hamburg, which will be a compilation of our favourite songs from the first and second album.¹ We will release it right after Eurovision, and until then, we will also present a song that we're preparing in collaboration with a very famous English performer.²

We're not hiding what we want from Eurovision, but it's not the only thing. We also want a good experience and to represent Slovenia with dignity and place high with a song in Slovenian again.

Bojan: The idea of recording in Hamburg has nothing to do with Slovenia being too small, but rather with us wanting to get out of our comfort zone, out of the environment we're in all the time, so to go there and have as much of an open mind as possible.

In terms of going abroad and concerts after Eurovision, we're already making very concrete plans for concerts around the Balkan region, and we've also already started booking club performances during the time we'll be in Liverpool. We're looking forward to going abroad.

Can you perhaps hint which British performer you will join forces with?

Jan: Unfortunately no, but we can tell you that it's not John Lennon.

Bojan, I watched your Portrait with coffee for Barcaffe³ where you also talked about the burden of recognisability. I imagine that you receive a lot of attention from women in particular. How do you deal with constantly being under the microsope from the public?

Bojan: After that interview, a fellow musician came up to me and told me that he completely understood what I wanted to say, but that I should never again in my life dare to complain about it, because it's simply the side product of the thing we're working towards. Ever since then, all I say is: thank you very much to everyone who bothers me. (laughter)

Are the other members also as impacted as the frontman?

Jure: Probably a little less than Bojan, but you can recognise the looks people give you. I can feel that I've started acting differently. I'm more mindful of what I do. I used to go for coffee at a café in my slippers, now I wouldn't do that anymore, though maybe it would be a good joke too. (laughter)

You're in high demand in Slovenia. Are you taking advantage of this opportunity and having concerts everywhere you can, or are you careful not to appear on the scene too much, given the smallness of our market?

Jure: We had a lot of concerts last year, I think we all agree that it was too many, so we won't perform for half a year now. We'll be getting ready for Eurovision, and when we come back, we will have a month-long tour, some good concerts that we like and that a lot of people will come to. After that, we'll have a break again until Stožice, after which we'll have another well-deserved break.

Are you satisfied with the ticket sales for the big concert, which will happen on the 6th of October [2023]?

Bojan: Eight months before the concert, we've sold 7,000 out of 10,500 tickets, from this week on, only the red ring (the highest seats) and a few VIP boxes are available, which means that after a few concerts in Slovenia that have already happened, we have already almost sold out Stožice.

Is there perhaps even a possibility of an additional concert?

Bojan: No, we talked about it, but we made the decision to not do two days. We decided that in particular because of our experience with Cvetličarna⁴, where we didn't have a feeling of absolute catharsis after the first concert, because we were still waiting for the second evening. Instead, we decided that the night after the Stožice concert, we'll travel somewhere warm.

Is having the Eurovision Song Contest in Liverpool this year the right decision?

Bojan: I think that, despite some previous appeals by Zelensky, it would be hard to have it in Kyiv.

Jure: We really like that it's in Liverpool.

You started out as a band very early, when you were twelve years old. What is the secret behind you not breaking up due to all the upheaval puberty brings?

Bojan: It's true that we started at twelve, but from that group, which was called Apokalipsa, I'm the only one left. (laughter) Another member of Apokalipsa was Martin, who left the band last year, after the concert in Križanke, and was replaced by Nace.

The reason for Martin's departure was the biggest show of maturity I've ever seen in a young person. He understood and recognised that his wishes and aspirations in life lay somewhere else than with this band. He called us, told us that, and even picked Nace.

When, at eleven, I told my guitar teacher Pavle Kavec that we were forming a band, and he said that things will definitely start changing at some point, I confidently replied that it will definitely never happen to us. Now I see that Pavle was more than right, which is obvious, since he's an experienced rocker.

Nace, you joined an already established band. Were you worried at all that fans wouldn't accept you, that you will be like something foreign, because you haven't been with them from the start?

Nace: I didn't have that fear. I know that I contributed to the band musically, that they also went a different way with me, which can also be heard in the song Carpe Diem. Maybe I was a little worried about the image, because I didn't know how aligned we'd be in that regard, but I was the most worried about how we'd get along.

I wasn't bothered at all by what other people would think. I was thinking more about how they're having a good time and whether they will also have a good time once I join them. I have to say that the guys immediately accepted me so wonderfully that I feel like I've been with them since I was twelve.

Bojan: We truly feel the same.

The title of your song translates as "Seize the day". How do you do that, and what do you consider a truly good day?

Bojan: A perfect day is different for everyone, and also different every day, and the beauty of it is that with each new day, we can experience our perfect day, but the best day never happens. As we never know what tomorrow will bring, we have to live as if there were no tomorrow.

Jure: But the best thing is when we're together.

Bojan: That is the best thing and the reason this band is what it is. When we had a big concert or a shoot and we were together day in and day out, there wasn't even a day after the project ended when we didn't either meet up at our rehearsal place and hang out together all day again, or pack our suitcases and go on holiday together.

Since Kris's father is our well-known musician Gušti, I'd like to know whether you've received any useful advice from the older music generation?

Jure: I think we blazed our own trail. There hasn't been any advice from Gušti in a long time.

Bojan: Gušti has already told us everything he had to tell us. Soon after we started, he recognised us as independent creators and performers and took on more of a spectator role.

He's always ready to offer us a well-meaning comment when we need it, as well as any kind of help. This band is a group of people that works by its own principles, but we have our circle of people we believe and trust, and that's normal for a team.

We also got a lot of useful advice, which we didn't even know was advice back then, from our older musician friends, but at the same time, they never made us feel like they were being patronising.

How did your musician friends react when they learned that you were going to Eurovision?

Kris: No one will say to your face that it was a bad decision. Most people I talked to, however, find it good that we're finally sending something tried-and-true to Eurovision. I mostly agree with this sentiment as well; but we have read comments on social media and various web portals that...

Jan: ... that Bojan is short of stature with a big ass.

Kris: We even read somewhere that we're going to Eurovision because one of us is the son of Alenka Bratušek.⁵ My dad was getting badmouthed too, as in, "Gušti arranged it all for them." There are various conspiracy theories.

Jan: If Gušti could arrange that, he also would've gone to Eurovision.

¹This interview is from last year; Joker Out later ended up abandoning the idea of an album with English versions of their songs.

²Kris is referring to New Wave, their collaboration with Elvis Costello.

³You can watch this interview with English subs on our YouTube channel here.

⁴Cvetličarna is the venue where Joker Out did two gigs to present their first album Umazane misli. You can watch one of them with English subs on our YouTube channel here.

⁵Alenka Bratušek is a Slovenian politican. She was the Prime Minister of Slovenia from 2013 to 2014 and is the Minister of Infrastructure in the current government.

If you repost quotes from the interview, please link back to this post! And if you repost the photos, do not crop out the photographer credit.

[emotionallyattachednerd]

Wicked Ones | ES Skywarp x Nova Storm x f!human reader | NSFW 18+

Word count: 1500+

Warnings: Smut ( Spark merging, touching, licking, fingering and oral ) and robots on human. NSFW 18+.

Notes: Something new and different. I really enjoyed working with these seeker femmes. Thanks for sending in your request @badkarma-900 hope you like it. 🥰

Title of this story was inspired by this song. ❤️

Conjunx Endura - Significant Other Amica Endura - Long-term Best Friend

☕ Coffee

The high you get when playing music is an addiction you craved each time you and your band would perform. You're the lead drummer, and pretty damn good at it. On stag you were swimming through the loud music and the cheers of the crowds with a wide beaming smile, loving every moment of it as the performance went on. People loved you and you admired your fans, but there are two who were your biggest fans that no one else knew about, and with good reason.

Who would've thought two giant alien robots from another planet would come into your life?

"Hey ladies!" You cheer outloud to the seekers at their little bunker they had settled. You've just come from a long performance, the adrenalin still kicking through your heart.

"There's our rockstar!" Skywarp giggles as she comes down to help you up onto the platform to stand in their view.

"We loved the performance!" Nova Storm adds through pumped enthusiasm. "Hope you didn't mind Skywarp and I adding in that little jet performance nearing the end?"

You grin wildly. "Are you kidding? It was fucking amazing! The crowds loved it too, which added more thrill for everyone."

"I don't understand why you two waste your time doing silly stunts for the humans." You hear Starscream say from across the room. "Entertaining them for a short moment like trained pets."

"You make it sound so much worse." You shake your head holding a small smirk. "If you join them you might feel the thrill."

"I'll pass." Starscream wasn't one for a lot of fun you think to yourself.

"In that case, shoo." Skywarp suddenly says to the red and blue seeker catching him off guard slightly.

"You're kicking me out?"

"It's ladies night!" Nova Storm giggles with her wings flickering.

Starscream lets out a wounded groan before he starts heading out. "Fine. But I'll be having my own fun tomorrow and you two will need to shoo then." He's out of the bunker before any of you could question.

"What kind of fun is he into?" You ask through a curious smile.

"Starscream's fun? Could be anything, but most likely his fun is peace and quiet by himself." Skywarp shrugs as you all make your way further into the bunker.

"Well that's sad." A part of you feels sorry for him. "Perhaps next time I do a show you two should drag him along, force him to have your kind of fun, he might like it."

Suddenly you feel yourself being picked up by Skywarp and held closely up at her face. You feel the heat radiating from her warm face plating adding blush against your skin. Right to it then. You're not complaining in the slightest, as this is what you came here for.

"And let him steal our fun? Steal you from us? Nah." Skywarp lets out a vibrating purr that gently shakes through your body and causes a low delightful hum to leave you.

"Besides, don't you want us all for yourself?" Nova Storm is already sitting in their little area before Skywarp brings you over to join.

"Never knew you two were the jealous types."

You remove your top casually and wiggle out from your shorts, leaving you in your lace bra and thin thong clinging against your sweaty skin, mostly from the concert, but you feel yourself beading with sweat and heat once again due to the growing arousal.

"You're ours, y/n." Skywarp watches you, ruby optics eternalling, the very lingering stare they both give that makes you ache and so wet. "And all you need is us."

Nova Storm shifts closer and gently takes Skywarp's chin between her digits, tugging her closer and sharing a kiss with her conjunx. You bite your lips softly at the sight of them, watching your seeker lovers kissing gives you such a surprising thrill. While seated in Skywarp's servo you toss the rest of your undergarments aside, leaving you bare and naked for them to do with as they please.

"Is someone missing out?" Nova Storm asks through a silky tone before leaning closer over you, nuzzling against your breasts before nudging your legs apart, her thick glossa darting out and swiping across your very core.

The very action causes your back to arch up under her warm glossa, letting out a soft shrill and gripping your hands against Skywarp's digits. It was such an erotic feeling having them do this to you, and so much more has happened already. You three simply are in it for fun.

Nova Storm lets out a muted moan against your tingling core and clit, Skywarp watching through lustful optics while you wiggle yourself against the wet warmth gliding across you. Suddenly you feel the tip of her glossa press against you, entering, stretching your depths as you clench down, moaning loudly out for your biggest fans.

You were already so worked up from the concert, so it doesn't take long for you to orgasim and you don't hold back, arching your ass up as you tremble with your juices soaking out and dripping.

"Oh my, was it that good?" Skywarp can't help but giggle and bit her lips at the way you came so quick and hard. Nova Storm laps everything you give, her frame quivering at your taste.

"Like sweet energon." She purrs as she moves away and kisses Skywarp to share your sweet nectar. You have no idea what that is, but you can guess it must taste pretty good to them.

"So good..." You manage to sigh between heated breaths, laying there and gazing up at them, craving for more. They seem to pick up on this and both smirk down at you.

Both their chassis open up and you're faced with the illuminating blue light of their sparks. It's such a gorgeous sight. You know what they wanted. It's been done before between you three and you're very turned on and fascinated by what happens.

Sitting naked between them you sit on the inside edge of Nova Storm's spark chamber, gently touching the glowing orb and smiling to yourself when you hear her gasp out. You know to be gentle, to take care of their sparks and enjoy yourself. After all, you're pretty much in contact with, as the humans say, their hearts.

Gazing down you notice Skywarp has started to finger Nova Storm, servo pumping away at her endura while listening to the music they played, and you start to caress both their sparks as they close and join together in front of you.

It's been explained to you what spark merging is. It's a ritual that joins two or more sparks together of friendship or romantic love, so they can combine into one. How detailed that bond is, from the mental link to a physical need to be together, to full out emotional and mental mind reading to one another.

Skywarp and Nova Storm were conjunx endura, in human terms, married. Starscream was also part of this bond but he is only an amica endura, a close friend.

As you caress the blue orbs under your hands you tilt you head and lick along the outside, feeling a gentle electric buzz rushing through you as you taste it, moaning lowly, mixing in with your seekers' own sounds. You hear them speak your name, praise you and one another, some other words you think is their own language as you take care of their sparks and help build up their pleasure.

The only way you could describe the taste of their sparks is that it's almost like dragon fruit, mildly sweet, a blend of pear and kiwi. It might sound weird but that's how it did taste to you.

Moving your hand down you start to rub your clit in circular motions, sucking and licking at the joining orbs as you let out a moan as you feel another orgasim suddenly build in you. Doesn't take much at all.

Their sparks glow more intense, glittering around you, and this is your only warning that your seekers were closing in to their overload, and so you work your fingers quicker against yourself, continuing to touch and drag your tongue against their sparks. It honestly felt like an honour to be able to touch such an intimate place to them. They chose you, they wanted you. You love spending every moment with them.

Skywarp passionately kisses Nova Storm as they both pump their digits into her valves together, glossas coiling with her mates while their human friend stimulates their sparks perfectly. It won't be long now.

Then it happens. Their sparks glow brightly in a burst of light as both seekers came to their overload and you came hand a second time under your working fingers. Watching their sparks sizzle together was such a beautiful sight. You'll never tire of it.

When it's over you're carefully brought up and set against Skywarp's shoulder where you lay down to get comfortable.

"Best ladies night ever." You grin softly before kissing her cheek.

"Damn right." Noza Storm joins and you three let yourselves calm down from your arousals, knowing very well that you'll probably be at it again soon enough.

"Night is still young..." You tease lightly, making them both snicker.

"Oh y/n, we're never letting you go."

Fine by you.

[herdelreydear]

„xo xo“

pt.1

warnings: alcohol, smoking, modern!au, drummer!abby, basist!ellie, fem!reader

summary: after moving to a small town to be there for your best friend while she needs you , you start working at a bar. The lokal band that plays there every sunday seems pretty interesting after spotting a blond haired and pretty attractive drummer

{not proofread}

notes: I promise the second part is going to be more spicy, I think this is going to be a small series maybe a bit slow burn but maybe the next chapter is going to be nsfw idk yet :.) also i’m new here so i‘d appreciate reposts, likes or even comments so so much <33

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Things were going to be different this summer, you felt it. After a long winter it finally started to get warm again, and the sun felt so good. While blasting music through your headphones you walked towards the little bar your friend mentioned, hoping to find them searching for new workers.

Since you moved here you didn't really had the time to focus on applying to a new job, all that mattered was to be there for your friend. Dina was one of the people, you would do something crazy like that for.

Moving to a small town because she had just broken up with her boyfriend and being on the edge of an identity crisis you were there to support her. But because of everything being pretty spontaneous the time and money it'd take to find a new place wasn't something you had right now. Till you'd manage to do so, Dina let you stay at hers.

„stay as long as you want cutie!" was what she told you the day you arrived at hers. But god no you didn't wanted to ruin her privacy and personal space. Her apartment wasn't big, and you knew she didn't like sharing her place (that's why she never moved in with Jesse, her Ex boyfriend).

She wasn't satisfied with you having to find a new job just to afford living here and stressing about finding a place to live just because she wasn't stable enough to be on her own right now. But Dina knew that you would do nearly anything for her because she was always there for you too, through hard and rough times she never turned her back on you. You two kind of became each others family.

The little bar she mentioned was just about 10 mins away, and while you walked there you got to know the small town. Pretty old houses and lots of greens and gardens. Where you stayed before was very different from that. Dina lived with you before she decided to move here because of Jesse, and you couldn't afford it yet to visit her and now you're moving here anyways. God, Dina is lucky that you're pretty easy when it comes to moving around, some people might would've lost a good job with moving spontaneously. Not you. After moving away from your dad, you tried to work as much as possible to afford your apartment and the food for your two cats. From being a bartender to working as a cleaning force, you did it all and you didn't mind. At least you didn’t had to share a place with anyone but Dina after moving out from you dad’s.

The bar was really sweet, Dina just knew what you liked. When you stepped in a little bell rang, and the person behind the counter bar glanced a welcoming smile at you.

"hey! you're new here right?" she nodded in your direction and you came closer while looking around.

"yeah, is that so obvious?" in this town they probably all ready knew everyone's face. You gave her a little smile.

"Kind of, yeah" she pointed at a board that showed all the drinks and prices. You thought about what to order. "Just a small coffee, please" you answered counting your money. After you gave it to her you sat down at a barstool right in front of her. "I'm Cat." she held her hand towards you and you shook it lightly. "y/n" taking a sip of the coffee she just had put right in front of you. Tilting your head to the side, unsure to ask you started: „Do you guys..perhaps..need another hand?" She looked up at you "I'm sorry i don't want to bother but I kinda really need that money right now-" you brabbel faster than your thoughts can follow. Silence. She looks at you with a little smile. "you're lucky you're talking to the chef right now."

„Dina!“ with a grin on your face you shouted her name while entering her apartment. You heard music coming from the kitchen and as you came in you saw her in front of the kitchen counter. As always she looked as if she knew what she’s doing but that was just her confidence. Sometimes you really questioned how she managed to live on her own with those cooking skills. „hey“ she smiled and turned her head over to look at you for a sec. „Guess who’s gonna start working tomorrow“ holding back a big smile you walked over to her to look at what exactly she was cooking. „No way-„ she looked surprised. „oh yeah“ with a grin on her lips she turned over to hug you. „NO WAY!“ she repeated while hugging you excited. „Oh my god tell me everything about how you managed to get the job right away!“ you started telling her about the sweet manager that was pretty young for an owner and how open she was with helping you by applying to the job at her bar. Dina was really proud of you and rewarded you with the dinner she cooked. Surprisingly it tasted better than anything she ever cooked for you. You noticed how she changed since you last met her. But that wasn’t a bad thing. Better cooking skills, and she became so independent (you were an exception). You were happy that she broke up with Jesse after she told you how off their relationship became after being together for 2 years. Since she moved here to be with him all the time they started to notice that they just didn’t fit together anymore. „maybe it‘s time for a girl again“ Dina joked. Her last relationship with a girl didn’t ended that well either. You chuckled. Summer just started and you were both single, could be worse.

Time goes by, and after two weeks of working you settled in. Working at the bar was exhausting, but fun. This sunday was your first shift while a band would play. That meant: working all day and working late. But at least they maybe would play something you’re into? Dina joked about the band members and how she thought lokal bands always consisted of some old people that had nothing to do anymore. Great. A bit downturned you got ready that Sunday. While looking into the mirror you tilted your head to look at your face from different angles. Why don’t try something new? You normally didn’t wear that much make up, but foundation, mascara and a nude lipstick were your go-to. Maybe some dark red lipstick for today would make you feel more confident (you also thought of how you could get a bigger tip if you’d do that to be honest). Working at the bar your clothes had to be subtle so you mostly wore all black but comfy. Sticking to that tonight you wore comfy black jeans and a black top with lace framing your cleavage. Putting on your silver hoops and necklaces you felt complete.

„looking hawt“ Dina approached you with a grin. „So i’ll see you tonight when the gig starts right?“ you nodded. „Should I bring some food? I mean you’ll be already working hours when it starts..“

„No thanks Dina, but very sweet of you. I’ll take something from the store for the way“ you pouched a kiss on her cheek, teasingly knowing it’d leave a red kiss stain she’d be annoyed about and waved her goodbye.

Arriving at the bar you saw the band’s equipment already built up on the little stage across from the counter you’d be working. Nice, so at least you’d see something and it wont get boring working that long.

„Sooo in the band are Manny, Owen, Ellie and Abby“ you nodded, not really knowing what you could’ve answered. „Don’t worry you’ll get to know them over time, they had a break for the last couple of weeks but now they’re back and luckily playing for the Planet.“ (The Planet = name of the bar) „So.. what genre do they play?“ you asked while starting to wash some of the used glasses in the sink.

„hmm they most of the time just cover songs, I‘d say rock and metal because they love to cover classics from the 70s“ interesting. „and some other alternative sub genre, but don’t worry you’ll enjoy if you like hot men making music“ cat grinned and leaned over to you. You started laughing and shaking your head. „No not really, i’m on the other team.“

„girls? I like that. I think you’ll love the drummer and the basist then“ you raised your brows. „I’m gonna have to work cat, not crushing on some band members that’s something i’ll leave to you“ you chuckled and she just shrugged. „Well, I’ll definitely enjoy the show. By the way, don’t underestimate us. Just because it’s a smaller town, people from elsewhere come here too when they’re playing.“ Cat left and you were alone at the counter. No visitors yet, so you could relax. Listening to the radio, you hummed quietly while focusing on getting everything ready for tonight.

„They’ll soon start, why don’t you get a small break before the bar fills?“ Cat came by to check on you after some hours of your shift and you took the opportunity and went through the back door outside.

You were about to search for your cigs in your pockets, when a group of people came closer. Before you could care to look up a girl came closer. „You want one?“ a girl with long blond hair in one braid held a pack right in front of you, now you looked up. You smiled shyly and nodded. „Uh..Thank you, and sorry i forgot mine“ you said without being asked but you were nervous and it just came out. Gosh she was so pretty.. Her little smirk, her nose covered in freckles and her whole appearance seemed to attract you. After you took a cig between your lips she immediately took out a lighter. You looked up at her to look in her eyes while she lit it for you. You inhaled and took a step backwards to fully look at her. Exhaling. „Thanks“

„You work here?“ her voice was a bit raspy and her big hoodie hid whatever was under there, you could just imagine. The other people of here group circled around you two and you started to reckon who these people were. Not bad, even Dina would find them attractive and yet she didn’t date a musician. „Yeah I do, I’m new here though“ you smiled and the others started to greet you too. „Yeah I would’ve recognized you otherwise“ she grinned and while she exhaled the smoke she respectfully tilted her head to the other side.

„Nice to have you guys here, Cat told me about you. Seems like we should be honored to have you playing at the Planet“ you jokingly exaggerated a bit and they chuckled. „I’m Abby by the way“ she looked to the right „that’s Manny,“ pointed to the other guy „Owen. And that-„ she layed her arm around the girl on her left „is my girl Ellie“ they all smiled at you and you also introduced yourself. So, she has a girlfriend? Not that you really should take the first hot girl that seemed like your type that kind of works with you. Ellie was also more masculine, a thing you were most of the time attracted to. She was a bit smaller and less talkative then the blonde. Anyways, you should focus on your work first, dating comes last. Even though you were more then desperate. You needed to get laid soon our you’d actually just grab the next best lesbian that was down to fuck.

When y’all finished the smokes you walked them back into the bar, or they walked you in there. Next to them you looked so unintimidating it was almost embarassing. You walked back to the counter while they went to the set up across from you. Staring at them you didn’t notice how full it got and had to take some orders right away. While serving the costumers one of the guys, you forgot the name, started opening their gig.

God, it got so full you became a bit stressed, but when you saw Dina coming in you relaxed a bit. People started to move away from the counter and gathered around the little stage.

„hey sexy barmaid“ she squeezed herself through a group of men that just ordered, to get to you. „So no old men band, god for you“ you rolled your eyes. „And for you too right?“ she giggled. „yeah of course“ she sat on a barstool infront of you and glanced over her shoulder. „damn, they actually are surprisingly good looking..“ pouring shots for another costumer you nodded. „i know..“ she leaned back to you. „The brown haired one seems to be your type. Tatts, short hair?“ you shrugged, she just knew you to well. But she didn’t knew that your eyes were on the other girl only. Now, while thinking about her you tried to see her through the small crowd. She was the drummer, of course. You raised your brows, she had taken her hoodie off, god…you blushed embaressed. Her arms toned, and muscles flexed from playing the drums. A view you couldn’t deny to find very appealing. Hoping Dina wouldn’t notice your red cheeks, but the lights were dimmed and drawn to the stage.

„Am I right??“ Dina tried to get your eye contact. „hello bar momma i’m talking to you“ you snapped out. „Dina gosh let me enjoy the view for a moment“ you laughed and she ordered something. While mixing her a drink you two talked about how she needed someone to get over Jesse and how you needed to get laid. And coincidentally there was a group with potential right infront of you.

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y’all are welcomed to give any tips/ideas for the next chapters! I have some ideas in mind but maybe you guys have ideas on how to make things more spicy🐇

[mitamicah]

Little gig report from a local show I went to this weekend - you can skip if you don't want to hear me babble about bands nobody probably have ever heard of x'D

On June 1st I went to a free concert in Copenhagen that I'd learned about since Cold Culture - a support band from the Blind Channel gig on April 22nd in Copenhagen *aka on my birthday* - was playing there. This was btw also the band where I was talking about the danish Bojan doubleganger x'D

This was such a pleasant time!! I was greeted by every band member of Cold Culture (or the three I'd hung out with after Blind Channel since the last had to take the train home early) greeted me with big smiles which warmed my heart since it then means they remember me :'3 <3 Frontman Mads and Drummer Andy P even ran to hug me when they saw me so I was pretty much dead by cuteness :'D

After that amazing welcome I went around to talk to other people in the crowd. Admittedly I felt a bit odd at the beginning since this is the first gig I've been to in a while where the people arriving there hadn't been fans but mostly just the locals being curious enough to check out a free show in the good summer weather. Despite my preservation everybody I ended up speaking to was very nice and nobody seemed annoyed that a random weirdo began chatting with them. Quite the opposite since later in the evening a couple went to me and thanking me for speaking to them while also mentioning they'd originally went home but decided to come back just to find me and compliment my golden retriever energy (not their words but mine) :'3 <3

One thing that was very different about the crowd was that I am pretty sure the majority was straight OVO as a queer person that has gotten used to be around gals and queers (cough kääryleet and baby boos) this was definitely a change OVO Luckily it was mostly metal heads and/or hardcore guys so there were no drama just odd seeing straight (or "straightpassing" since I didn't ask and therefore know anybody's sexuality) couples being the norm. Cis masc people at hardcore shows I've learned can be very affectionate with their mates - I got invited into a hug-jump circle during one band, screamed my heart out with a guy during another, had somebody randomly pat my stomach (very quickly) and got hugs, fist bumps, dance off and smiles from more people than I can count - mostly from men. And I know I passed as well since not one person called me 'she' and very few mentioned my transness and then only after seeing my pronoun and/or trans pin. I love the one guy that went: "I wouldn't have ever guessed since you have a beard" x'D

All three bands were amazing! I am biased towards Cold Culture however since I knew their music already x'D This time I was all the way up front (no barrikade so I was more or less right in the band's face OVO) screaming along. I got to give Michael (the keyboardist) a fistbump at some point :D

The second band, Ashes of Billy were young (14-15 yrs old) yet still full of energy. That transferred to the crowd that was the most moshy they'd be the whole evening. I almost threw off my shirt at one point because it was so hot :'D Had their show been one song longer I think I might actually have done it x'D

The last band, Daze of June, seemed fairly known to the local scene. They'd had a 2 year break from playing live so the crowd was hungry and it showed! The crowd surfers continued coming and one part of passing I hadn't expected was that I now seemed to be expected to join in on carrying the crowdsurfers (some even eyeing me before jumping out) - that could also be because I am tall and in front but yeah, safe to say I've never carried that many people around during concerts as I did last saturday x'D

After and inbetween concerts I hung out with the band members but especially Cold Culture. I had stolen their setlist in the least stealth way (running to the one by the drummer and then struggled to get the gaffa tape to let go for a minute or two x'D) that I got the boys to sign and I got a picture with Mads and Andy M, the guitarist. Mads remembered the silly duck face that got to be an intern joke between us (me and other fans) at the Blind Channel show so he made it on both pictures. Andy P and Michael would arrive later so I didn't get pictures with them but instead a long, very lovely conversation with Andy P :3

Now I have met them twice I have new thoughts about whether or not I think Mads is Bojan coded. The answer is definitely still yes but with some little additions. As @j-restlessgeek noted, Mads definitely seems to have some facial features that reminds one of Kris. He is more slender than I remember so I'd say he's build more like Jure than Bojan. His eyes are those of a husky tho; big and iceblue. His personality is still definitely closest to Bojan's which might be why the two of us (both very much dog coded) got along so well!! We were pretty much fanboying about each other x'D (he about my art since he follows me on IG and me about his music :'D)

I have no idea if it was just me being extra aware about him once more *I'd been very aware of his presence at the blind channel gig as well* but it seemed to me we caught each other's eye quite often even when not in the conversation together. Had it not been for Mads going to single me out to hug and say goodbye when he had to go I could've sworn it was just me being delulu. He thanked me aton for coming and told me that if I wanted to next time he might be able to get me backstage so that was so very nice of him :'D <33

All in all this was a good way to spend first day of pride month and first official day of summer ^V^

Pictures of me, Mads and Andy M ^V^

Pictures of Mads during Cold Culture's gig (I really dig these ones especially since you get a feeling how freaking close I was OVO)

[phrogggslayer]

Night Terror Band Lore!

I've gotten a couple of people asking for a little lore on the Night Terrors (OC Pizzaplex era animatronics), so here's a long ramble about them!

Dread

Dread is the signature Fazbear of this Pizzaplex. When he's not singing with his crazy deep voice, he's.. not saying much. He might come off as cold and emotionless, but he's always listening and thinking of others. He's just not good at expressing it.

When their Pizzaplex started catering to kids, Dread adored the tiny new guests. And once the Freddles were introduced, the cubs quickly learned his quiet ways of showing his love. Dread is now convinced he's great with all kids, even though most are terrified of him.

When Plush was brought into the family, Dread's calm demeanor became a source of comfort for the little one. Having someone sturdy and quiet sit with you can make the world feel less overwhelming. Dread is also in a loving relationship with his partner, Foxy.

Grimm Foxy

Well, speaking of him, Grimm Foxy (called Grimm or Foxy) is the talented drummer of the band. He wears his heart on his sleeve, and is extremely warm and welcoming to everyone he meets. This makes him the most popular amongst staff and guests alike.

Foxy fits the dad role like a glove. He plans special events for his kids after hours, always checks in on them, and regularly discusses what can be made better for them with the manager. He also ensures Plush gets the extra care they need to be happy in their new home.

Nightmare

Next up is Nightmare. She's the bassist of the band, the second Fazbear of the Night Terrors. She and Dread consider each other siblings, always going to one another when they need some extra support. Nightmare has a no-nonsense attitude and makes a point to be honest.

When it comes to the kids, she's right at Foxy's side, making sure they get the best care they can in a Pizzaplex. Only where Foxy is diplomatic, Nightmare is way more demanding and accusatory towards the manager. The two are pretty successful together!

Nightmare is in a throuple with Bonnie and Chica. She was crushing hard on the two of them for a while, but it took a few months for her to find out that romantic relationships can include more than two people. And boy was she happy when she figured that out.

Chica

Chica plays the keytar! She loves the scary part of her job where she's encouraged to startle guests (who signed an agreement, of course) before immediately teasing them. But don't tease her back. She'll take it personally. Then you're in trouble.

When the cubs arrived, she became the cool parent who roughhouses with them! And she definitely sneaks them things they're not supposed to have. As for Plush, their casing is fragile, so she becomes very aware of her strength with them. But snuggle time is always nice.

Chica was the one who asked Bonnie and Nightmare if they'd like to date her. When they agreed, Chica destroyed two punching bags. She didn't know how else to express her glee. That night, she put one in front of her new partners' doors with post-it-note heart on top.

Bonnie

Bonnie rocks the electric guitar! As most rabbits are, he's extra hyper (and extra flirty). Bonnie is very popular with adult guests, always shooting them naughty jokes and giggling about things he's not supposed to talk about. He gets in trouble a lot...

With kids, both guest and animatronic, he loves to jump into games. Tag, hide and seek, capture the flag, pickpocket the adults, you name it! Though Bonnie has a tendency let swears slip in front of them. So now the Freddles and many kids who visit know fun new words!

With Plush, Bonnie immediately felt a sort of kindred with the kid. They're both bunnies after all. And Plush noticed a resemblance. They play games where they wiggle their ears in different ways, and the other has to copy it. It calms Plush down pretty fast, too.

Bonnie's relationship with the girls has great communication. They keep it open with an understanding that they're together forever. Bonnie loves that they're happy to let him explore romance with others, and that Chica and Nightmare are always there to love and support.

The end 😊

That's the end of the Night Terror band lore! I'll link the original artworks of them and their kids below.

Let me know if you have any questions!

[x--daughters-of-darkness--x]

JINJER's TATIANA SHMAILYUK Celebrates Seven Months Of Sobriety

Vocalist Tatiana Shmailyuk of Ukrainian modern metal frontrunners JINJER is celebrating seven months of sobriety.

On Saturday (July 15),the 36-year-old singer shared a new mirror selfie on Instagram and she captioned it: "#7monthssober today. Let's see how far I can get".

Last December, Tatiana spoke to Radioactive MikeZ, host of the 96.7 KCAL-FM program "Wired In The Empire", about how she met her husband, former SUICIDE SILENCE and current P.O.D. touring drummer Alex Lopez. She said: "I met him through Internet. Of course, he was a famous person in the heavy music industry. So I liked him. And then it kind of happened that they [SUICIDE SILENCE] invited us to be a support act for them in Bratislava, Slovakia back in 2017. So I was, like, 'Well, that's destiny.' We took a picture together after the show. And then we started chatting through Internet. It was not very consistent talk — once a month, once every three months, short [messages]. And then we were talking about us, JINJER, coming to the States, and at that time it seemed impossible to come here, because, oh my God. [Laughs] And a year after, in 2018 I think, we went to the United States supporting CRADLE OF FILTH. And he came to our show to say hi and stuff. And then here and there, that's how it happened. So I think I made it happen. [Laughs]"

When Radioactive MikeZ noted that she was the "aggressive one," Tatiana clarified: "Not aggressive, no. I just was more enthusiastic. You know what I mean. Sometimes women have to do the first step to get what we want. [Laughs]"

Tatiana also talked about what it was about Alex's appearance that first drew her to him. She said: "Yeah, I felt like he looks like me, but like a male version of me. We're both shorties, brown eyes, brown hairs. I love Mexican culture, and he's full-blown Mexican."

Asked how she likes living in Whittier, California, where she shares a home with Lopez, Tatiana said: "Well, I like it because it's in the middle of everything — 30 minutes to downtown L.A., 30 minutes to Laguna Beach, 30 minutes to another beach to another beach and another beach, and then an hour to Big Bear mountains. So it's the perfect location. But I don't go out much because, honestly, I didn't find anything to go out to. [Laughs] And I have a lot of work to do, so I'm just sitting there chilling in the house, enjoying the sun and hummingbirds flying here and there. So, [it's] pretty cool. I love California in general — it's a beautiful place. I don't think there's a big difference between [Whittier] and another small town somewhere in California."

JINJER will embark on its own headline tour following the band's support dates on DISTURBED's 2023 "Take Back Your Life" trek with fellow special guests BREAKING BENJAMIN. The headline trek kicks off on September 7 in Huntsville, Alabama, making stops across Canada and the U.S., including Quebec City, Montreal, Toronto and more before wrapping up in Vancouver on September 25. Several of the tour's stops are produced by Live Nation.

JINJER played its first live show since Russia's invasion of Ukraine on June 10, 2022 at last year's edition of the Greenfield Festival, which was held in Interlaken, Switzerland. The concert took place just days after it was announced that JINJER had been given permission from authorities to leave their war-torn nation and tour Europe as ambassadors of the country.

[hello-nichya-here]

Was Meg White a good drummer?

*sighs eternally* Yes, she was. She was the perfect drummer for The White Stripes, and I can't believe some dumbasses still try to argue otherwise in 2023

Ya know what? Let me rant about Meg White now that you gave me the chance, because this woman:

1 - Was the reason the band started in the first place. Jack said many times that jamming with her ONCE was enough to let him know that they had something special (musically speaking) and it just HAD to become a band instead of just being a one-off thing, or just something they did for fun. And let's not forget, she is reason the reason behind the NAME of the fucking band.

2 - Was an active participant in creating the songs all the Stripes fans, including the ungrateful bastards that shit-talk her for no damn reason, absolutely love. Yes, Jack made the lyrics, but he usually wrote them while playing the piano. The final versions we all know came to be when he AND MEG would "cover" them together, to turn it into THEIR music. Jack also trusted her input so much that they would rework on any song she said she didn't like or didn't feel quite finished yet.

3 - Usually had a very "simplistic" childlike way of playing the drums. That made perfect sense for a band with a guy like Jack, whose deal is "restraint forces you to be creative" and "the best ideas are the ones you have when you think like a kid." Her drumming was a feature, not a bug. "We Will Rock You" is a ridiculously simple song, yet people still treat it as the classic it is, and give Queen a ton of respect for it. But Meg does exactly what she was supposed to, in that exact same vein, and suddenly "The White Stripes deserved a better drummer" (funny how we never see Jack get called a shit writer despite trying to keep lyrics extremelly simple, huh?)

4 - Had to perform without a setlist because once again Jack just has to be different. She had to immediately recognize any song he was playing (and he had plenty to choose from), remember how to play it, AND adapt to Jack's constant improves - which often included stuff like interrupting a song, playing part of another one for a minute, then go back to the first one. All while suffering from severe anxiety and performing in front of HUGE audiences - some of which, as we know, were dying for her to make any mistake, no matter how small, so they could go "See? I told you she sucks!"

5 - Could often go fucking nuts on the drums when necessary, to help Jack build momentum, and then just suddenly stop or go back to normal whenever he gave her a cue - and again, he liked to improvise, so she had to be ready for EVERYTHING.

6 - Had soooooo much chemistry with Jack on stage that it became a show in it of itself. Let's face it, rock is often as much about the "image" as it is about the music (and this band sure knows it considering their thing of only wearing red, black and white to stand out and be memorable), and by God, I cannot think of The White Stripes without picturing all the times I watched a video of some performance of theirs and thought "Jesus Christ, get a room."

7 - Was a joy to watch when she was just on stage, not giving a fuck, and having fun while playing the drums. I don't care what people say, to me she had as much stage presence as the guy that took her last name.

Bonus: Wrote "Little People." I know, I know, that song is not one of the big ones, but I think it's dope and this is my post. Jack could have easily just sing the lyrics while not touching his guitar, because that song is all about Meg creating the rhythm and the melody with her drums (like she did in "Little Room", another treasure). It's simple, catchy, and an underrated gem.

Bonus 2: She sang "In The Cold, Cold Night." I know, nothing to do with drumming, but that song is in my top 10 AND was frequently played in the show long after it's release. She managed to secure a little moment by herself in the spotlight despite not really being a professional singer, and that just shows, once again, that she could deal with ANYTHING her band-mate threw at her.

Meg wasn't just a drummer that was allowed to tag along to the Jack White show because they were married/siblings, like some people love to pretend. She was his partner and a core aspect of what made the band so great. There's a reason why when she retired from her music career, Jack didn't just get someone to new and continue using the band name. He KNEW it wouldn't be the same, he knew Meg was as irreplaceable as him. If either of the two is missing, then it's just not The White Stripes.

It doesn't matter how much some trolls try to pretend Meg was useless or even holding Jack back. The simple fact that they praise Jack's work on their dyscography proves they are wrong, because they're weren't two people coming up with stuff separately and then stitching it together. Jack's riffs, intros, solos, outros, and the instrumental chrous like the one in "Seven Nation Army" were only able to exist because he and Meg were playing off of each other, exchanging notes, trying new stuff, keeping up with each other, working and creating music together.

If you like The White Stripes, you have to thank BOTH of them for it. It's that simple, and I don't know why people are still struggling to understand that.

[confusingangels]

IN HIS YOUTH, Rob Cantor would often feel left out and forgotten. It was because of this that he decided to start a band with a high school friend named Zubin Sedghi, who would go on to invite another person (who they knew through a mutual friend) named Andrew Horowitz. After this, the three would end up being contacted by Bora Karaca, who had an interest in joining the band after seeing them start it.

They would agree to letting Bora in, and he would be appointed Lead Guitarist. It was around this time as well that they would meet Steve Gallagher, who also was interested in joining a band.

The four members would let Steve in, and he was appointed the Drummer. However, after a short while of him being in the band, he would leave abruptly. No one quite knew why. Perhaps he just did not want to be the Drummer anymore, because of creative differences or something similar.

After he left, the remaining members began looking for a new Drummer, which they found through one of Bora's old friends from school, Ross Federman, who was interested in drumming.

They held a sort of, 'audition', mainly because at the time there was another man who wanted to join who appeared more skilled to Ross.

However, they heard Ross play, and they wanted him in the band more. And so he joined, and the completed band would be named Tally Hall, after a closed food court which was close to where the members (besides Andrew) grew up.

They would tour around the United States upon completing their first album, Marvin's Marvelous Mechanical Museum in 2005, which was named after a museum that they would visit consisting of old, coin-operated machines and a lot of interesting items.

But after a while, things began to get..a little strange.

During concerts, someone would almost always mess up a couple songs in some way. No one knew what was happening, but it started to get a little worrying after a while.

Stranger things would happen as well. Someone suddenly bolting off stage when performing, instruments being dropped, them playing the songs off-tune and barely singing the lyrics. A lot of things happened.

One day, on stage, everything was going normal; things were being played well, everyone looked happy, nothing looked wrong.

But something felt off. Very, very off.

During 'Just Apathy', Rob seemed..almost scared to start singing. Nobody knew why until nearly the end of the song when he collapsed on stage.

Everyone immediately set their instruments down and ran up to him, and people in the back of the crowd would try and peer forward to see what was going on, why they had suddenly stopped playing.

There was a curtain lowered, and the five members didn't come back out again that night.

After three days of that incident happening, a band member (Most likely Zubin Sedghi, the media is lost) would go on to talk about what was next for the band.

Someone would say, “Oh, Rob's fine. We were just really excited to play that night, is all,” when he would infact not be fine.

Tally Hall would go on to play one more concert before suddenly going on a break. All they would say about it is, “We're terribly sorry to anyone excited to go to our future concerts, but we have decided to go on a break for a while.”

No one's quite sure how long they would be on break for, but whenever they would appear on a radio show or an interview, Rob would not be there. Fans started to get concerned; the man was, essentially, completely wiped off the face of the earth, as he didn't post on any of his social medias either.

They still don't really know what happened to Rob. He was just..gone. He had posted something only once, three days after the break, and then never again.

Missing posters started to appear around town, even; but no one would ever call the number, because no one had information on him.

Those posters would get more faded every day and eventually just disappear.

Nobody knew if he was even still alive, and they still don't.

But, eight months after the break, the Tally Hall recording studio would start to receive mysterious packages and letters that were highly believed by the band members to be sent by Rob.

Ross would often be the one opening them, and the contents would vary from scribbled out drawings and messages to stuffed animals and even more.

These would severely unnerve Ross, and so he never told any of the other members about these things until the third one came in; a package with four stuffed animals, each one with a note on it to each Tally.

We're not quite sure what they were, as they never said, only showing the box as proof of a send-in from somebody.

The post that contained the image of the box read, “We got a rather strange package in today. The address wasn't specific at all, so we don't know how it could have possibly been delivered here.”

But the rest of the packages and letters are a different story.

For now, no one has seen Rob in a long while. We hope he'll show up again in something soon.

[mxbitters]

this is one of my favorite photos to exist.  that’s a musician i think is fucking sick but specifically doing one of the most musicianey and relatable things ever.  this has me reminiscing about art schoool freshman year of high school lugging a guitar a backpack and who knows what else daily.  that case looks almost exactly like the case i have for a piece of recording equipment i don’t even know how to use.  this man is my height doing a thing i do in like 200 different bands at any given time, looks like me but simultaneously the most intimidating looking musician at any given local show that you always make sure you’re not in the way of when they’re setting up or getting their gear off stage for the next band, but then you go to the merch table after his band’s set and become unlikely friends who playfully punch each other every time you see each other.  this man is walking outside what i can already tell you is some sort of bar venue that everyone else calls shady but you feel most at home at a place like that.  yet you never see it during the day, you only ever see it at dusk before the show and as you leave and the sky is pitch black.  it’s always pitch black.  this man right here knows the ropes, this man’s taking multiple trips to and from the van and this is his first.  this man’s walking fast with big strides, this man’s probably thinking something stupid and pushing it to the back of his head to focus on finding a place to put this shit so he doesn’t look like a goddamn lazy frontman.  this man would lend the opening band a guitar when they left it at the last stop because he knows how it feels and he’s not an asshole; this man right here is everything i aspire to be, and everything i was and already am and i am so sorry for low key being a frank iero kinnie on main but this photo gives me the most profound feeling and i think everybody should see it

[violetrainbow412-blog]

Queen [E. M]

Eddie Munson x fem!reader

word count: 1.7k

summary: Eddie hates the sudden crush you're having for a celebrity and when you find out why it turns out to be the cutest thing in the world

A/N: okay I have to confess that this one shot it's pure self-indulgence because I have been so obsessed with Queen lately

I liked them a lot when I was a teenager and I think this love had only been dormant in me, lmao

Anyways this is short but I hope you like it!

Eddie walked around the cafeteria, looking around at you. When he found you, you were holding a magazine in your hands and as he walked towards you, he swore he heard a sigh of love.

"Hey, girl," he exclaimed as he plopped down next to you, watching you jump startled.

“Hi,” you said excitedly, as you closed the magazine and put it aside. Eddie took the opportunity to glance sideways and he couldn't contain an annoyed groan when he saw the cover. It had Queen, the group you've been obsessed with lately.

"Seeing that band again?"

"Yes!" you replied, not noticing the annoyed tone your friend had used "I found this magazine at Mitch's stand near my house, can you believe it?" you exclaimed, as you opened it to a certain page. Eddie rolled his eyes when he saw the photograph on it.

"That blond again?"

Roger Taylor.

Eddie vaguely knew the group, he had seen them on television and he didn't dislike them, he could even say that he liked some songs. But now it was different, because your fascination was directly proportional to the hatred he had for them. He didn't even have a valid reason, he just felt extremely angry that you liked them so much. It was difficult to understand and much more difficult to explain. But of all, the one he hated the most was Roger.

“He's not just a blonde, he's the most handsome man on earth. Just look at it!” you screeched, showing him the photo. "I'm in something like a fan club and they just sent me these pictures of them in Brazil, look at them," you continued, handing him three small polaroids. There were two groups and one with just the bassist and drummer “He looks so handsome in white. And he just looks at her hair and her smile and her eyes…”

"Isn't this guy like 40 years old?"

“36!” you corrected him, completely offended.

"Which means he could be your father."

"And what does that matter?" you insisted “If he were here right now, I would let him do with me what he wanted”

“Y/N!” Eddie exclaimed, suddenly modest, but you giggled.

“I could literally melt from how hot he is, have you seen him as a young man? With that long hair that looks so soft. I swear I could…”

"Hello!" Dustin greeted, arriving just in time to prevent you from saying another obscenity out loud. Eddie felt completely ashamed of your thoughts. Sure he knew what sex was and he had a couple of dirty magazines in his bedroom, but it felt so weird to hear you saying those things.

The matter faded as lunch progressed, but he still felt strange looking at the magazine and photos lying next to you, a feeling he tried to ignore.

The days passed, then the weeks, and Eddie felt calmer when you hardly even talked about the rock band. Only an occasional mention or when you took off your headphones and because of the volume so high he managed to hear a little of one of their songs.

Until one day he was waiting for you outside your house to go for a walk and you approached with the biggest smile you've ever had. Eddie thought you were excited to see him until he saw a cassette in your hand and he was oddly disappointed.

"Check out what I just bought!" you exclaimed euphorically, without even greeting him, while you showed him the little plastic box that had The Works written on it accompanied by an image of four men "I'm going to put it on your stereo"

“Hello to you too, how are you? I'm fine, thanks for asking,” he said wryly, but you just laughed softly. The first song started playing when Eddie was already driving down the street; It was something disco.

"Oh, this song was written by Roger," you told him excitedly. It was catchy and good, but Eddie wasn't going to admit it and decided to say something impolite instead.

"Didn't he also write a super weird fuck-a-car song?"

"What? Nope!" you laughed "It's called I'm in love with my car and it's like, huh, a metaphor"

"I repeat, it's weird and that guy is weird too," he snorted, but you didn't register his angry tone because you were too busy nodding your head to the beat of the music.

You had decided that you would go for ice cream and so you did. For most of the afternoon you were talking and talking, while Eddie just ate his ice cream and answered in monosyllables. You thought it was just a passing thing but he kept silent even on the way to your house, which if he was out of the ordinary.

"Why are you so quiet, Ed?" you asked, genuinely interested.

“It's nothing” he lied, even though you knew it wasn't. He reached for you and you thought he would hug you, but instead he opened the glove compartment and pulled out a cassette which he reluctantly tossed into your lap. “I recorded that song for you. I hope you still want to hear that kind of stuff now that you're a Queen fan,” he muttered without much encouragement. But you smiled when you realized what was happening.

“Is this why you are mad? Is it because I like Queen now?”

"I'm not mad," he defended himself, but his crossed arms and the pout on his lips said something else.

When you looked more closely at the cassette you realized that it was covered in purple foil and had both your name and his written in that boy's ragged handwriting.

So in a second everything seemed to click and you understood why Eddie was upset every time you listened to the band or talked about your crush. He wasn't angry, he was jealous.

"God, it can't be, are you worried that I'll stop listening to your music because I like Queen?" you said, trying not to sound mocking, but with a smile you couldn't hide.

"Again I don't know what you're talking about, please go now, it's late and your parents are going to be angry"

"Ed, you can't be serious," you insisted. The whole thing was so silly "Or is it that you're mad because I like Roger?"

“I already told you it's nothing! OK?" he muttered. He really looked upset and you felt bad for a moment, until you heard him speak again “I don't even understand what you see in that guy. He just plays drums and he's white, it's not a big deal” he said grumbling “And lately you just talk and talk about him and how handsome he is and all that shit and he's like 20 years older than you!”

If it had been someone else, you probably would have laughed and told him to go to hell. But it turns out that the one who was sick with jealousy at your crush on a rockstar was your best friend, the same guy who was trying to be a rockstar himself and didn't want to share the job with anyone else. That's why you found the whole thing totally cute.

“Eddie, what the hell are you talking about? I like him, yes, but it's not like he's my next-door neighbor to run away with. He's thousands of miles away from here because he's a fucking Brit who has a huge bunch of fans just like me. And besides, he's married and has kids,” you laughed, punctuating this last part.

And suddenly Eddie felt so dumb. He was being an idiot being jealous of someone you didn't even know and wouldn't know anytime soon and all because he had a bit of a crush on you and hated it when someone else stole your attention. He wanted you at band rehearsals, hearing and complimenting their songs, but that need for attention had gone too far. So he continued to fold his arms and fled from your gaze, but this time out of sheer embarrassment.

"Eddie, could you at least look at me?" said. You were very persistent and he knew it, so he had no choice but to turn to see you. You weren't the least bit upset, on the contrary, you looked the most amused "Does that calm your jealousy a bit?"

"I'm not jealous" he spat, as if you had just done him the worst offense in the world, but you kept talking with that smile on your face.

“Well, in case you were jealous, I have to tell you that you have nothing to worry about. I prefer guitarists, before drummers”

"Really?" he asked, oddly hopeful, but still feeling like an idiot.

"Of course! There is one in particular with very nice curls and brown eyes” you exclaimed. Eddie let go of that angry frown and smiled at this, almost blushing, “His name is Brian May, do you know him? He is part of the band Queen”

"Okay, now get out of the car and go home," he said suddenly, returning to that frown that made you laugh out loud.

"I'm kidding! Obviously I mean you” you exclaimed, approaching him and putting one of your hands on his arm to ease the tension “Corroded coffin will always be my favorite band and I'll be at every concert. And you will always be my favorite musician, I promise you,” you said sweetly, as you closed the distance further and hugged him. That's when he relented and wrapped both hands around you as he breathed in the scent of your hair. Even though it was already clear that it was nonsense, he felt calmer now “What do you say we listen to that song together, huh? I want to know what my pretty boy wrote,” you continued. Eddie wanted to die because you had called him yours and pretty in the same sentence.

Without waiting for an answer you took the cassette and placed it delicately in the player, still with your body leaning against his to assure him that you were serious.

TAG LIST: @sweetdayme4427 @smol-book-nerd @ilikewomendealwithit @harringt8ns @katsukis1wife @ilovereadingfanfics @tvserie-s-world

It wasn't metal, it was just Eddie playing the acoustic guitar from his room as he sang in a soft, husky voice. The song spoke of friendship, love, and joy. From a person who was lucky to have another and didn't want to lose them. As the words echoed through the car, your head rested on the boy's chest, and your arm wrapped around his body, a tender smile spread across your face. And so you stayed for a long time, just enjoying the warmth and affection that Eddie emanated.

[lazypanartist]

Hi i went with a different take on this one i hope you enjoy this blind box!! Also, another Yokai reader because i find them so fun to write.

- 📝 anon

---

Leonardo never thought you'd be here. If he did, he never in a million years would have dragged himself into these rafters, let alone his brothers. Never snuck his family into this free showing of New York Indie Music show by the docks. Never gave them a front row seat to his downfall.

After all, he never knew you of all people joined a band.

He was about to say they should all bounce, say that he and his hermanos should ditch and go get some pizza, but…well, his wretched darling little brother looked over one of the metal beams he laid across and down at the newest band on stage, and perked in curiosity.

"Hey! It's your ex!"

Awesome. Cool. Super super cool.

Donatello looked down as well, scrunching his snout some before going back to looking at his phone. "Let's see here…Ah yeah, Dark Lighthouse. Looking at everything here, it seems they're friends with the guitarist and sometimes lend their voice to some songs. My guess is the band is using one of those."

What rotten luck. That six month old wound opened up like the eye of a storm.

"And you didn't say anything because…?"

"Uh, you said you both agreed to split and that it was cool? Plus, I didn't know they were performing a song they had a part in."

Leonardo grumbled and looked away, back down at you, eyes trailing over your agitated shadow under the harsh lights. Tendrils of your hidden form twisting and weaving anxiously.

He remembered when you got that crack on your cloaking broach. Your shadow never did look right after that, but it still compressed your much bigger, more sharp and tentacle-y form down into a handsome package that fit in his arms nicely. It never mattered how you looked though, either form was marvelous to him.

"You good man..?" Raphael patted his shell. "You're lookin' pale."

No. He was sitting above the reason why he couldn't move on. Sitting above the person who severed ties with him with no explanation.

The sea monster yokai who had sunk his heart like a stray lifeboat.

"I'm fine."

"You wanna head out?" His older brother asked, looking down at you as well. You looked distant, but even he could see you were trying to calm your nerves. The small audience was milling about, not really paying attention as you set up.

Yes. Yes yes yes yes yes-

"No! No, it's fine. They just gotta sing one song and then it's onward to the next band. It's whatever, I don't care." Leonardo watched as you turned to the drummer, who said something that you gave a stilted nod to. He knew he was lying through his teeth, but he couldn't leave. Something about it sat poorly in his gut.

Mikey gave him a disapproving look. "Nardo, it's fine if we head out. It's-"

"Let's stay. Just one song."

Sighing, the youngest shrugged and the four continued to watch Dark Lighthouse get ready. "I think that's a bad choice, but if it gives you some closure, okay…"

He wondered if you would sound like you did when you used to sing with him in the kitchen, making breakfast burritos or scrubbing last night's supper off the plates. He remembered calling you a Siren once, with how your voice would lead anyone to you.

You gave him a half hour talk about how Sirens were bird women and you were decidedly more sea creature-y and not like the temptresses. Apparently it was a big deal between the avians and sea folk.

A guitar began to play, strumming a riff that made him think of a rocking boat on dark waves. More instruments dropped in, and he could feel the salty air and the whirling ocean breeze.

And then you began harmonizing with the rest of the band members, and Leonardo felt his heart crush the air from his lungs and fill with only thoughts of you. And then your swirling voice pulled him in.

"On some level I think I always understood

That these hands of mine were clumsy, not clever."

Leon saw the nights he shared with you in the mystic city, cooking with you only to find you'd cut or burn yourself. Nights he'd hold your clawed hand gently and wrap a plaster around the offensive area. The sharp nails made you have issues with fine motor things, but he marveled at them all the same, decorated with colourful bandages or not.

"And I tried to do the best that I could

But try as I might, I couldn't bring myself to hold you."

The terrapin thought of how you always seemed so…distant. 

You were never good with physical affection. He thought you might have been similar to his brother Donnie, but instead of being overstimulated by touch sometimes…

It was almost like you were scared to touch him. Like he would break.

"It's a secret I keep tucked inside my chest. With this heart of mine that's guilty, not remorseful."

He wanted you back. He felt like a ship, longing to dock but being turned away. Aching for respite but having no option to find a port.

"There is love that doesn't have a place to rest…" 

He still loved you. Six months did nothing to turn the tide in his chest. And he had a feeling you loved him, too!

Leonardo thinks that scares you.

"-But it would have buried you if it had settled on your shoulders…"

Like you thought your love was nothing but a burden to him.

The night you left him played on repeat in his mind. How you claimed you would do nothing but hold him back. He wished you would let him make the decision of whether you were bad for him or not. Wished you weren't so sure you would be his misery.

The ninja continued to watch you, your voice cascading and washing through the crowd like a riptide. People watched, sure, but he felt riveted by your performance. He swore, he could taste the sea breeze of your breath. Could feel the whirlpools your cold hands would trace along his shell's scutes.

"On some level I think I always understood

That a ship could never really love an anchor."

Your thoughts swam with your dark tendrils latching to the anchor line of a ship, his ship, pulling it down, down, down to its doom.

"So I did the only thing that I could

And severed the rope to set you sailing from my harbor…"

You had to cut him free from you. Leonardo, as funny and handsome and charming as he was, would never be happy with the quiet, cold, hard to love likes of you. It would end in tragedy, and you loved him enough to sever your monstrous tendrils that held fast to him.

Sea serpents, krakens, beastly yokai like you…they never got a happy ending. He deserved one. And you'd provide him the opportunity to be free of you and have it.

"There are times when I still wonder about you."

The red eared slider peered over the support beams more. He wanted so badly to leave, but felt like he was drawn to your melancholic voice, knowing he would just be dashed upon the rocks his ship wrecked into. Donatello had to keep a grip on the lip of his shell to make sure he didn't fall from the rafters and do just that.

Even now, you held back, even when it hurt you. Your feelings, your fears…

Your voice.

Leo knew your voice could rip his heart asunder. 

"You are someone I have loved, but never known."

Did you love him still, he wondered? Loved him like he loves you?

It made his heart skip a beat, the ebb and flow of his tide disrupted.

Why weren't you singing like he knew you could?

Why did he want you to? Why did he want to become shipwrecked, sunk into the depths of your echo and scattered like debris along the sharp, unlit cliffs you warned and threatened and promised him?

"And you'll never see the reasons I had

For keeping my claws away, when they were close enough to hurt you."

He wanted it to hurt.

Saltwater trailed down his cheeks as he leaned more, the drops glittering through moonlight and stage lights like the rain of a monsoon before landing on your hands, which clutched the mic like a life ring. You looked up.

Your eyes met.

Brine stung your eyes.

"I am selfish, I am broken, I am cruel."

You never looked away. Leo couldn't find he could either. His heart was too busy fighting the current of your voice, sinking fast into your undertow into the frigid, pitch black depths.

"I am all the things they might have said to you."

Why was he here? Why was he here, now, just when you felt you could finally move on and never think about the warm sun and cool breeze Leonardo brought with him? Why now, when your emotions laid bare and raw and ripped open like whale fall?

You were unwound from him, like plastic and fishing net snipped free of a sea creature's throat. So why was he here, and why was he miserable, and why is it always your fault?

Where was his sun and wind? Why was he nothing but a deluge, dark and miserable as he stared wide eyed down at you, his rain touching the abyss you dwelled?

"Do you ever think of me, and my two hands?"

Leo found himself mouthing his answer as he felt the phantom touch of your clawed, webbed digits on his skin or the cold brush of a smooth tentacle along his arm.

Yes. 

"And wonder why

They never soothed your fevers"

But you soothed his fears during sleepless nights.

"And wonder why

They never tied your shoes"

But you picked him up after particularly brutal fights.

"And wonder why

They never held you gently"

But you sat near him, close enough to touch despite fearing he would catch upon your unpleasantly sharp bits when he craved closeness.

"And wonder why

They never had the chance to lose you"

But he lost you.

The song closed, the rocking ocean waves of the melody ceasing when the band finished, and you dove away off stage, wiping your face silently as you slunk away.

Leo was no better, Michelangelo having to help haul him back onto the rafters they hid in and talked to him quietly, whispering that he would be fine and that they should leave and how he would feel better after time and pizza. Needing to gather himself, Leo asked his brothers to go on ahead, telling them he would catch up soon.

Raphael gave him a tight squeeze, and soon it was just him in that rundown warehouse's ceiling, shuddering breaths making him feel like he was fighting to not breath in sea water.

You slid down the metal siding of the venue, staring at the cold, wet concrete of the alley. Streaks of oil slick soiled your clothes while you did nothing but watch. Three shadows passed to the left, not far from you, and you could hear familiar chatter like that of gulls as they flew away, sailing home across a sea of rooftops like a flock of albatrosses.

A fourth landed nearby, and you struggled to not shoo him away. Instead, you pretended like you weren't there, willing to let your vessel sink below the waves rather than address the other.

Leonardo sat next to you, silently. 

A nautical pennant was raised, awaiting your own.

Your head bowed, accepting his request to communicate despite six months of radio silence.

The two of you talked quietly, sitting on the wet ground as a chill seeped deep into your bones like arctic waves. You played catch up like he wasn't a ship spiraling in the eddies of a maelstrom, like you weren't Charybdis ready to pull him down to you once more. Like the two of you would wash up on black and white sand beaches dotted with coral reefs and promises of safe seas.

"...It uh. Really hurt me when you left. But…it was supposed to, wasn't it?"

You, your feelings bottled tightly like a model ship and held near to your chest, didn't say anything.

"Yeah. I figured. You know, dooming us from the start doesn't make the whole superstition about sea monster yokai being cursed with love any easier to navigate. You gave up before we had a chance."

"...You deserve something that won't ruin you later."

"I mean, yeah. Maybe. And maybe that would have been you, but it could have not been."

You had long since removed your broach. If he was seeing your raw feelings, he should see you as well. Your eyes slowly trailed over to where he sat next to you, pressed against your scaled shoulder.

"...I guess."

"I think…you should try to be a bit more willing to hope for good things. It might do you good."

These waters were treacherous, and neither of you had a way to navigate. He could see the sky, the wind direction, and any approaching weather. You could see the depths, hidden dangers and strong channels and currents that might sweep someone away.

…But. You had each other, one able to help where the other would fail.

Your tightly clenched hands let go, dropping and shattering your bottle.

"I'm scared. This all scares me."

"I know."

"It makes me scared FOR you."

"I know."

"I don't know what to do…" You whispered, flag held aloft. "I don't know where we go from here, what we do from here." You swallowed down an anchor. "I'm sorry. I really am."

Leonardo slowly, slow enough that you could pull away should you wish, tucked his hand into yours and squeezed it. A rush of warm, southern winds fluttered your heart and sail.

The terrapin threw you a line, mooring his ship to you. And you held it fast with scales and fins and claw.

"I accept your apology, and I forgive you. It's okay to mess up."

You wanted to argue against his words, but in doing so you would no longer be tethered. So, instead, you held tighter and trusted his direction.

"You're right."

"Of course I am!" He smirked up at you charmingly, and your tentacles twisted and writhed as you remembered what made you fall so hard for him in the first place.

His smile. His warmth. His wit.

His sail caught a breeze, and your thick, finned tail caught a current, the two of you maneuvering away from the rocks and high tides.

"Can we try again?"

Another rope tossed down. You caught it between rows of teeth and began to pull him, cautious to not shred the lines he gave you.

"I would like that. I will…try being more open about how I feel."

"And I'll listen more and take them more seriously. I know the whole 'love is doomed for sea monsters' thing really gets to you."

You gave a shaky smile, and he gave his own back.

Leonardo's raft touched the pebbled and rocky shore gently, and as he looked back into the cool, kelp-dotted shallows, he could see you, waiting. Listening. There for him like he was for you.

It wasn't a sun soaked paradise, with tropical reefs and golden sand, but it was yours. It was your love. And you would work until it became what you both deserved and needed.

OHHHHH MY GOG!!!

I don't think I've ever seen this concept done.. sea monster Yokai my beloved 💕

[capt-spooki3]

A Musical Confession

Chapter One: Lovers Rock

Characters: Eddie Munson and Gn!Reader

Warnings: cursing, id call this slow burn(ish), nothin else its just sweet

After attending enough of his shows at The Hideout, Eddie finally decided to approach you and with an offer...

5.2k words

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Only because i, personally, am terrible about remembering this:

Gn reader = Gender Neutral reader

Y/LN = Your Last Name(i write it weird so just in case it trips anyone up <3)

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"Alright, so this one is a bit different than our usual uh.." Eddie trailed off, giving his drummer a quick glance and a cocky smile before looking back at the few pairs of eyes watching him. "Style. But we wanted to give it a try. We're calling it, Lovers Rock."

You watched from a booth in the corner, near a window where you could watch the band but keep your space from the drunks since you were alone. You had first taken an interest in Eddie at school where you talked with his friends on occasion, but after learning of their band and where they played, you took a new interest in him at The Hideout every Tuesday that they were scheduled to play. You haven't missed a show yet. Having grown up on rock, their covers and original songs were right up your alley and it always felt nostalgic hearing the songs.

The two of you had talked some, briefly, and not a whole lot was exchanged, but you two certainly had been introduced to one another though that was about it. Not that you didn’t want to get to know him as well as you knew his friends, he was simply… a bit intimidating.

Unlike you, Eddie decided a while ago to wait on you until you were comfortable enough to talk to him. He really wanted to talk to you but felt better if it was on your terms as he was well aware of how people saw him. Though, with your more grunge way of dressing and the fact that you talk to his friends so easily and freely gave him hope that you’d come around.

That didn’t stop him from wondering about you. What you were like, how you talked, your little habits if he made you nervous. But he waited. Until now. Even if his message to you was subtle.

From the stage, things grew alive as they started to play. People perked up as they realized how different this song was starting. Eddie's eyes wandered the crowd but per usual, they found you. He held your gaze as he sang the lines.

"Are you sick of me? Would you like to be?" He raised his brows a bit at the question, almost trying to tell you it was for you. He was a bold man, as everyone knew, but you were far from stupid enough to believe he would write a song to make a confession. 

“I’m tryna tell you something. Something that I've already said.” Breaking the eye contact as he continued, unfazed by his own actions. Looking like he was on autopilot but oh, was he aware of what he was doing and quite excited to be executing it.

"You like a pretty boy." A smile couldn't help but pull at his lips. He tried to fight it but especially as he looked at you again, and tried real hard to drop the hints, he felt a little bubble of laughter in his throat at the lyrics which were aimed at himself. All he could do was hope you would realize it. "With a pretty voice."

You furrowed your brows at that. Watching him close now, the tapping of his foot to the beat, the way he strummed and fingered the strings, the way his body swayed just a little as he played and he nodded his head, how a little smile broke when singing certain lyrics, his eyes which floated over the crowd or kept closed unless he was looking your way, the only time he looked like he was really looking at someone. There was a purpose there, you were sure of that.

“But if you’re too drunk to drive and the music is right, she might let you stay. but just for the night.”

He tried hard to keep from looking your way, almost wanting to avoid looking in your direction at all. In case you didn't like it or secretly did see him as weird and a freak like the vast majority. It felt like a magnetic pull to you though. When mention of being together or of a kiss, he just had to check. Had to make sure you were still looking, still interested, still, hopefully, understanding.

“Because love, can burn like a cigarette… and leave you alone with nothing.”

If you didn’t know any better, you would say he was singing about a memory. A situation he has already been in before that he thought about, unable to get out of his mind for so long that he had to use his creative liberties to help get it off his mind. He probably just enjoyed his creation so much that even as on the nose as it was, he just had to perform it. All that threw you off was his looks at you.

If this was about some lover of his, why was he looking at you the way he was and at the times he was. Looking at you in just the right way to put your heart in your stomach and butterflies so heavy you swear they are going to choke you.

He sang the softness of the lyrics so perfectly like he wasn’t playing Metallica right before this. It tugged at your heartstrings a bit at how much of himself he was practically putting out there with this song, that someone had this much of an effect on him and was on his mind that much. A little part of your mind was longing for it to be you and wishing he was singing about a hopeful scenario with you. The more logical part of yourself hushed the wish, you hardly even knew him and he didn’t know you so in what world would he ever be singing to you, you told yourself over and over.

A sliver of hope couldn't help but remain.

The song came to a slow ending with merged voices singing soft ‘do do do’s behind his round-up of the chorus about cigarettes. The 8 drunks and two tables of people clapped and a few cheered. You joined in, watching as he made a dramatic bow with his arms outstretched and a content look plastered to his face as he scanned the people. A bit of hesitation was there until he got to your spot as if he was checking to see if you stuck around which in turn just made you clap and cheer a little bit louder.

Eddie laughed to himself, flipping his guitar around behind his back. He tentatively worked on putting his guitar pick back on his necklace as Jeff leaned in to tell him they were all going to head to the back room and order food.

“Alright, I’ll be there in just a minute. Take her for me will you?” He asked, already taking his guitar off and handing her over.

You couldn’t help but watch him. As he seemed to get his pick back on his chain, he got off stage and headed your way instead of walking out of sight with his friends. Not wanting to get your hopes up in case he was going to walk to some other table, you looked down to your table before distracting yourself by stirring the ice around your drink.

“You really are persistent with not missing a show, huh?” Eddie said, plopping down in the booth in front of you. Your head popped up and you must have looked pretty surprised as he smiled and let out a little laugh. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”

“No, no you’re fine.” Your nerves couldn’t help but rack up, making it hard to keep your eyes anywhere near him. “Why uh, why are you over here Munson?”

“Ouch, Y/LN, don’t like me that much!?” He leaned forward, hand over his heart and he tried his best to act hurt.

“Well hold on now! You know I didn’t mean that-” You leaned toward him, not being able to help a smile as he furrowed his brows and narrowed his eyes at you. “I think you’re lovely, but you never wander over to people after your shows, unless I was just never around for that era, but… whatcha doin’ man?”

Eddie leaned back, holding a small smile as he just stared you down for a moment in silence, making you nervous and a bit flustered as you stubbornly tried to hold eye contact but continued to look away.

“Well… you know how all my friends do our DnD things, yeah? And I know you like them so I was just wondering, would you like to come sit in a session with us?” You just kinda stared at him for a moment in surprise and awe and he decided to busy himself by digging his rings out of his pocket. “I mean you… you can just say no. Just figured maybe that way you can hang with the guys and maybe see that I'm not as big and scary as you might think.”

You leaned back against the booth, crossing your arms as you hummed, watching him as he slowly put his rings back on and tentatively watching you, awaiting an answer.

“When is your next session?”

-

“And now focusing back on the four of you, as you all walk through the doorway, Dustin you smell,” Eddie stops to smell the air around him and wrinkles his nose in disgust, “Something rather familiar to you.”

“Do I recognize it?” Dustin asks in a whisper, leaning over as he was deep into the game along with the rest of the party. His character has had a lot of familiar encounters this campaign so it was a safe assumption it would happen again.

“Roll a perception check.” Eddie nods his head toward him.

“Uh.. 16.”

“You sniff the air… and it takes you a moment to be able to place your finger on it, but boom,” Eddie snaps and pauses for a second, all eyes on him. “The sickening smell of leather and fire leaves you nauseous.”

“No… nO WAY, YOU’VE GOTTA BE-” Dustin slaps his hands over his mouth as he acts out his fear and anguish.

While the rest of the party is focused away and trying to figure out the situation, Eddie looks over to you sitting beside him.

After asking three separate times if you were sure about not wanting to join in on this campaign, he allowed you a seat beside him where you could watch his DMing behind his dungeon master's screen that he made just for this campaign. It was actually quite fun to watch the little things he was doing that the party couldn’t see. Being the second session you’ve sat in on, previously you watched from the other side of the table, but being here is an entirely different experience.

He leaned over to you and you leaned toward him as he often had fun little things to whisper to you.

“Now watch this.” He stood up suddenly, slamming his hands down on the table making everyone whip their heads back toward him. “While you four were too busy talking, you all failed to notice a presence approaching, slow and steady. A wooden staff pounds down on the ground and in a deep, gravelly voice a man who is still hidden from the light of the single torch illuminating the room says… ‘Oh, how have you aged son.’.... and unfortunately that is all for today!!”

A chorus of groans and a couple of curses strung his way filled the room as he just laughed, putting his hands on his hips and gazing out on them all.

“I’m sorry, but a little birdie,” A sideways glance was cast to you, “Has informed me that it’s gonna start pouring real soon and the majority of you guys have to bike home… So shoo shoo! Pack your things up and get goin’.” Eddie plopped back down on his throne and watched them all scramble around to get home. Since it was Gareth’s home, he just grabbed his things and said his goodbyes before walking inside from the garage. 

“Since I’m giving you a ride home, will you help me clean up?” You met Eddie’s awaiting eyes and he gave you a little smug smile. “DMS duties.”

You scoffed and shook your head. “Yeah, of course.”

Saying goodbye to the rest of the gang as they left, you watched them bike off down the street from the garage with a half-full plastic bag in hand. You halfway tuned out the rustling of things from farther into the garage, too busy sending them silent wishes that they beat the rain.

“God, you’re just like a worried mom.” Eddie's voice broke your concentration which only got an eye roll and a displeased look from you. “Kinda look like one too.”

You grabbed into your bag and threatened to throw a can at him to which he started laughing, holding his hands up to diffuse the situation as he took a few steps away even though he was already on the other side of the table.

“You are just full of it today, huh? I might as well just walk myself all the way home, probably would be safer.”

“Nooo, Y/LN, now just calm down, let's not be rash!” He pleaded in feigned dramatics that you couldn’t help but smile at.

“It’s too late Munson! I just can't stand you a moment longer!!” You raised a hand up to cover his face from sight as you turned your head away. 

You started to walk out of the garage, making your way over to the trash can outside to drop your bag into, hearing Eddie come after you.

“Just hear me out, I beg!” He pleaded, swerving around in front of you, mostly to drop his trash in the bin as well, but also to put his hands together in a prayer, giving you puppy dog eyes and everything.

After giving him a little ‘hmph!’ you turned away though the image of his face was already ingrained in your mind. You were committed to this little bit and did actually start your way down the driveway and toward the sidewalk so you could trek home even as much as you didn’t really want to leave. 

As you swung your hand back in your rhythm of walking, it was grabbed and you jolted to a stop and turned around just to get pulled into Eddie. He obviously didn’t think you’d be that off balance and he stumbled a little but kept steady, keeping a firm hold on your shoulder and hand. You looked up at him to find him already looking at you. Heat rose up your neck and you knew it had to be already flushing your cheeks just from that moment of eye contact with his pretty brown doe eyes. Pulling away from him before he could see your face as you fought a smile, you looked toward the ground and expected him to have let go of your hand but you were stopped once again by an unmoving force keeping a hold of your wrist.

He waited until you looked at him to take a tentative step forward. Not too close. But yet, not too far away. He leaned toward you just a little, pink dusting his cheeks as he looked at you.

“Stay… please?” Eddie whispered a soft plea in a tone you had never heard from him before. It nearly took your breath away in surprise, your cheeks feeling on fire but you just couldn’t look away from him. You also couldn’t muster up a word and just stood there with your mouth slightly agape. He grinned at you and was slow to let your hand go.

“I’ll take that as a yes, hope I’m not too bold with my assumption there.” He said, voice still soft but no longer a whisper. His eyes broke from yours only when he slightly recoiled from a raindrop landing on his face. You both took notice of the rain now. It was light, but quickly the rain was getting heavier. Eddie laughed with glee, looking up into the storm.

The sound of the garage door shutting made Eddie look back and even though he had things still in there, he shrugged and turned his attention back to you in the rain with a big smile.

 “Wanna know something I’ve always wanted to do with someone?”

“What’s that Munson?”

He put his hand out to you, keeping his dramatic facade as he held one behind his back and he had to speak a bit louder so you could hear him over the now pouring rain. “Dance with me, Y/N!”

The use of your first name brought those suffocating butterflies back. You couldn’t help but stare at him for a moment as he waited with way too much happiness for you to ever tell him no. Would saying no be the smarter choice for your heart and mind? Absolutely. But with the only risk of falling in love with him, it couldn't make it all that bad of a decision.

“Fuck it.” You grabbed his hand and he laughed, pulling you into him with his drenched clothes making yours even worse. He grabbed your other hand and led you in a dance that had no rhythm, no pattern, nothing more than whatever soundtrack played in your own minds. The rain lightened as you two danced around the driveway but unlike the rain, you had no intention of stopping yet.

Letting go of one of your hands, he took a step away and pulled you in against his chest, he held you much longer than you would in a dance set to any pace. He put his hand on the other side of your waist, looking at you from the side until you looked back, waiting for him to twirl you out. 

Without warning, he tickled your side, and just as you were distracted with giggling he chose to twirl you, and even give you a little spin once you were all the way out, before he met back up with you face to face and took your hand again.

Intertwining your fingers with his, you took the ‘lead’ and did a little pushing your hands back and forth kinda dance with your feet following the rhythm. He got into it quickly and watched you to make sure he wouldn’t miss a move as you went to the song in your mind. As you started to sway back and forth, he matched it, and eventually, it just devolved into you both replicating several popular dance moves, one after another. 

The rain had lifted to sprinkles now and in your drenched state, you managed to trip over your own feet. Eddie moved to catch you just as you caught yourself but looked up at him in a bit of surprise at how quickly he reacted. He laughed a little bit and stepped back to give you space but equally held his hand out to you.

“Wanna go get food?” You took a second to take him in, he had on his leather jacket over the hellfire t-shirt both of which were dripping wet. His hair was a mess from the water and especially from the dancing around, some stray pieces were plastered to his cheeks and his bangs to his forehead. He was glowing though, he looked alive and full of bliss at the moment.

A smile crept its way onto your lips as you grabbed his hand once again, leaning back as you relied on his strength and sucked your teeth.

“I hope you know I didn’t bring my wallet.”

“That's perfectly fine, I planned on paying anyway.” He said as he started to lead you to his van but you were quick to stop him this time.

“Oh wait, Eddie,” He was quick to look at you. You didn't often use his name when talking to or even referring to him so it must have caught him off guard. “We both are uh… drenched. I don’t wanna get your seats wet.”

“Oh, you genius little bird, you. I actually have towels in the back! I almost forgot.” Letting go of your hand, he jogged to the back of the van and you followed. “I keep ‘em for 'just in case' moments and finally, they have made themselves useful.”

Eddie opened the back door and crawled in a bit before coming back out and handing you a black towel as he had one to match, quick to use it to wipe the drops of water on his face and work on getting his hair a little dry.

“Just throw that sucker on your seat and it’ll be fine. If it seeps through that, she’ll dry just fine I’m sure.” He said, voice a little muffled as he was busy scrunching his hair.

You watched him as he did so, in his own little bubble as he cared for his hair. It was the first time seeing him care about his appearance, you were right to assume he did as his type of hair had to be cared for to look as nice as he did. The fact that it was an obvious priority for him at the moment was just such a sight to see for some reason.

Being halfway bent over, he took notice of the lack of moment from you and leaned over more to look at you from behind just for you to notice him and meet his eyes. The urge to laugh hit you both at the same time, you slapped your hand over your mouth and he held his lips together tightly to hold it in though his smile was making it hard.

“Y/LN…” Eddie drew out your name with a smile, standing up straight slowly and you had to bite the inside of your cheek to not burst out laughing from the embarrassment of knowing he knew you were watching.

“Mhm?” You were hardly able to get out, barely bringing your hand away from your mouth with a dangerously big smile.

“If you’re gonna watch, at least start drying yourself off or something. Weren’t you the one super worried about my seats?” He leaned toward you to further his teasing and you rolled your eyes, looking away only to glance back at him as he narrowed his eyes in suspicion of you.

“Alright! Alright, my bad!” You put your arms up in defeat as you walked around the other side of the van and heard him laugh from the back. 

You opened up the passenger door but stood next to it, messily drying your hair to get it at least not dripping. You managed to waste enough time that your clothes, while still soaked, weren’t dripping anymore so you toweled your clothes off before Eddie appeared on the other side, opening his door. 

“So…” You started to get his attention which wasn’t too hard. He draped his towel over his head and leaned on his seat with his head resting in his hands as he waited for you to talk. “Where are you thinking of eating, Munson? I don’t actually know what you like.”

“Easy, you know that little diner a few blocks from here?”

“Benny’s? The one that's known for its shakes more than its burgers?”

“Bingo,” He giggled a little as he sat up and took his towel off to put it over the plush seat. “Favorite place in Hawkins right there, I always thought I didn't like Suzie Q’s but Benny’s gave me a solid change of heart.”

He kept rambling about each item on the menu as you copied him with your towel and got in, to which he did the same. The air was on full blast of cold air as it was hot earlier today but just left you two freezing now. He turned it off even though he hardly looked like he was paying attention to anything else. As he started driving, the ramble about food turned into a story about Benny’s which had you both in hysterics.

The usual 8-minute drive felt like a few moments. Despite his demeanor and his horrible reputation, despite doing nothing to earn it, Eddie was so easy to talk to. He matched energies so well and kept a good-paced conversation, talking as much as you’ll let him but at the same time listening to whatever you have to say for as long as you want to say it.

Pulling into Benny’s, there were a couple of other cars there but it looked like a rather slow evening. You moved to get out, but he was quick to stop you.

“Hey hey, wait a second.”

“O… Okay?” In pure confusion, you just watched him as he hopped out of the car, following him with your eyes as he passed the front of the van just to get to your door and open it with a slow dramatic wave of his hand to usher you out. “Oh my god, you’re ridiculous.”

“It’s just part of my charm.” He said with pride, taking your hand as you got out and shutting the door behind you just to do the same gesture, not as extra this time, before you could walk into the diner.

Together, you sat in a booth in the corner of the diner, there was one couple from school and a couple of older folks catching up with one another. You decide what you want and make sure to add a shake to your order and Eddie goes to put it in for you. As you sit there looking at him, you just can't help but notice how much of a mess his hair is from the rain. He did well in drying it off but it was just incredibly poofy as it was drying and it was getting in the way as he kept pushing it away while waiting to get change back.

You look down at your wrist to check and to your luck, you still had a big green scrunchie from one of the cheerleaders you were friends with. She didn’t talk to you anymore so it wasn’t like she was ever going to ask for it back.

Eddie headed back over, shoving his hands in his jacket pockets as he gave a sideways glance to the couple that gave him nasty looks then whispered and laughed to themselves.

“Munson.” You grabbed his attention and before he got to the booth, you scooted out of your side and pointed at your spot. “Sit.”

“For… what? If you wanted the corner seat, you could've just told me.” He muttered with a laugh as he sat.

“No no, well, if you’re okay with it,” You pulled the scrunchie away from your wrist to show him. “I wanted to put your hair up for you.”

“Oh geez, alright.” He was quick to comply and turned around so he was facing the window and had his back to you.

You approached him but put your hands on his shoulders to let him know how close you were. Taking one hand away, you pushed all of the hair off of one of his shoulders then did the same to the other side with your other hand. You made sure to be super gentle when messing with his hair in case he was tender-headed and gathered the length of it in one hand. His hair was incredibly soft and with how poofy it was right now, it was plush in an odd way.

Loosely tieing the majority back, you leaned over to separate some that evened out with his bangs, but mostly just because you thought it would look cute.

“I’ll fix those in just a second.” This elicited a sweet chuckle from him.

Taking your time to make sure everything looked nice and even, you tied his hair up and tightened it as gently as you could.

“Alright, face me now please.”And god, you could look at him forever if he would let you. With the mix of the evening sunlight and the softness in his face as he looked at you, he looked ethereal. You couldn't help a smile as you slowly shook your head and he matched your smile but gave you a confused little head tilt to which you shook your head to dismiss his curiosity

You grabbed his cheeks to keep his face still and fully facing you just as an older lady came over and sat down the ordered food on the table for you both. 

“Here you kids are, enjoy.” She said with a little wink.

“Ooh, I already am.” You whipped your head back to him before you could thank her which just caused the two of you to get the giggles. You patted his cheek a few times to try and get him to sit up straight.

“Okay, okay, shut up, lemme do this so we can eat.” He obeyed and sat still as you fixed his hair to make him look pretty as he just watched you with a soft, dopey smile. Just as you were checking everything to make sure it was even and looked good, Eddie reached up and straightened out a bit of your air and tuck some behind your ear before speaking in that soft tone again.

“I’m sure I look fine, Y/LN, sit down. You’re worrying your pretty little head over my hair a bit too much.” Brushing his fingers over your cheek teasingly right before pushing you away in a gentle manner and sitting right in the booth.

You scoffed at him with a little laugh to follow and sat across from him, taking one of your shared order of Suzie Q's and resting your head on your hand.

He apparently got a shake as well and sat back, taking a moment to enjoy it, closing his eyes as he savored the flavor.

"It's been too long…"

"Not to break your focus here but I gotta question actually." His attention popped back to you at that, clearly very curious.

"Continue."

"Alright, so since I would say we are friends now…" You paused, watching him to make sure you weren't in the wrong to assume so. He gave you a content nod. "And I love your music so, how much would it be to ask if I can sit in on practices? You all do practice right?"

Eddie laughed and rested his arms on the table, leaning toward you with a smug smile. "Can you just not get enough of me, birdie?"

"Answer the question, you dick!" You hissed at him, trying not to let yourself get too flustered.

"If you really want to, you can sit in. You've gotta be ready to give us constructive criticism though, no sitting in for free." Giving you a critical look, he relaxed and brought one leg up into the seat to have up by his chest. "Talk about this more in a minute, eat while it’s still nice and fresh. The fries are better that way."

"Better not just be a way to get me to shut up, Munson."

"I wouldn't dream of it."

[dingdonghyvck]

The Only Exception || Lee Haechan x Reader

Summary: You finally realize that Haechan’s the only exception to the one rule you gave yourself.

Genre: Angst and a little bit of Fluff  

Pairing/s: Drummer!Haechan x Lead Vocalist!Reader, Minor College Student!Mark x Reader

Warnings: Explicit content, mentions of suicide, suicidal thoughts, implications of sex, sex jokes, use of drugs, cigarettes and alcohol, verbal and physical abuse, divorce, and a few others I probably forgot to mention

Word Count: 5.4k words

So this is part two of the Drummer!Haechan AU I wrote: Still Into You

 Please do give feedback, it’s greatly appreciated! Thank you and enjoy :)

"When I was younger I saw my daddy cry and curse at the wind.

He broke his own heart and I watched as he tried to reassemble it.

And my momma swore that she would never let herself forget”

It all started with hushed arguments, hidden whispers of disappointment behind closed doors, afraid of breaking the perfect image your family had, afraid of the neighbors to talk. From hushed arguments to daily endeavors of avoiding each other everyday, it was like a ticking bomb inside your home. A ticking bomb you had tip-toed over each morning past your parents' bedroom, hearing the muffled crying. You knew it was only a matter of time before the bomb would finally explode, imploding your house from inside-out.

You hoped and you prayed to any god willing to listen that the rumors were not true. The neighbors started talking and the news had somehow got out. And that was when everything started breaking down. The hushed arguments turned to wars of screaming and crying, sharp words that cut through you like a knife. That was when the walls of your home began to talk, they spoke to you too, they echoed the hatred your parents had for each other. They made you feel unwanted, unloved and useless, since of course the sole foundation of your life was crumbling. You were the scars, bruises, and pain they brought into the world, you were once proof of their love that turned into a ghost wandering the halls, desperately clawing against the wallpaper to make it all stop.

It didn't end with words, it seemed as if words weren't hurtful enough. You were caught in the crossfire, desperately trying to raise the white flag between the two, but you ended up becoming their stress ball. They would sometimes drown you, lock you up in the basement or straight up hit you. They kept squeezing you and throwing you around like a stress ball bound to burst, the people at school began noticing the bruises and cuts. In the end they left you alone, vacant and ignored since you began bringing your friends over your house.

And for the first time in a while you felt safe, you felt safe in Jeno's comforting smile when he tried to teach you guitar. You felt safe with Hendery's little pranks and teasing during practices. You felt safe in Donghyuck's presence whenever you two would head out after band practice, in his car with no particular destination in mind. The nights were long, but somehow it always ended too quickly for you. You wished you could stay for an eternity inside Donghyuck's car, it was a place where you didn't bother to be someone else except yourself.

It was a space where you weren't either the whore's daughter or the useless excuse of a student. You were just authentically you and Donghyuck openly accepted you, he didn't say it but you knew he did. He didn't talk whenever you didn't feel like it, he opened the car window when you wanted to watch the stoplights and streetlight wiz by. That's what made those nights perfect, it was Donghyuck's soft humming along the mediocre pop song on the radio. His weirdly specific defensive monologue whenever you brought up his tacky lavender car scent. Donghyuck's presence in general as he would sometimes just hold your hand while you thought to yourself.

One of those nights where you thought to yourself that life should always be like this, you didn't know how, but you knew that Donghyuck has to be apart of it. You decided that the world may go to shit, your parents may end up getting a divorce, you may end up living the rest of your life as a deadbeat. But you no longer cared as long as you had this place, in a worn out car seat next to him; well that was what you thought at least.

"And that was the day that I promised,

I'd never sing of love if it does not exist"

Donghyuck's sudden departure from the band shocked both Jeno and Hendery, they took it considerably well in all honesty. They still wanted to continue on with the band, partly because they needed the money from the gigs and mostly because they worried for you as a friend. You tried your best in trying to continue with your life and look for another drummer, for another Donghyuck in your life. As silly as it sounded since you were the one that pushed him away, you would think of him most days. You were only realizing how important Donghyuck was in your life.

He was always the one who took care of you, reminded you to eat and rest whenever you forgot. He would show up at your dorm to bring you breakfast or make you coffee, remind you that some of the books you borrowed from the library was due tomorrow, or even just chat you to check on how your day was going. Now that you had changed your number and avoided him like a plague you were starting to realize how much you lost.

And you had thought of calling him, or maybe reaching out to ask how his day was going, the same way he used to check on you. You were so tempted that you showed up at his place, a second away from buzzing his doorbell, but you remembered. You remembered how awful you were to him, you were reminded of the pain and misery you've caused him all through out your lives so far. You were being selfish yet again, so you stopped yourself. You immediately turned around that day and called up Hendery and Jeno to tell them that the band was over, you didn't have the guts to face them anymore.

The guilt was eating you alive, they had tried to convince you otherwise but you pushed them away too. The only person who you kept in your life was Mark. You still felt happy to be around him, although you didn't feel comfortable since you felt like you had to keep a facade around him. He seemed glad to see you more often, you'd cling onto him like a flee for days. But there came a time when he finally asked why you were so vacant these days, and where were your other friends; it was an argument caused by Mark's growing irritation for being required to see you everyday and almost having to babysit you like child, all the while trying to keep up with other activities going on his life. You had left him without a single word and returned the next day like nothing happened.

He genuinely did like you, he wished things were different but he couldn't handle the nonstop texts and calls that came from you every minute of the hour, he was beginning to get sick of it. And you immediately notice his distaste, the way he would dryly reply to your messages or not talk to you whenever he did have time to see you. You knew you were becoming a bit too much for him, desperate for company that you became too overbearing, a bit too possessive and selfish when it came to his time.

And for the first time, you felt it. You felt how your heart sunk everytime Mark chose to answer a call from a friend when you were talking to him, the way he would look anywhere else but you whenever you tried to start conversations. You were usually on the other end of the stick, careless of other people’s emotions and too busy living in your own world. You finally knew what it felt when Donghyuck dated you, and what horrible thoughts that came with it. In the end, you knew that Mark was too kind to end it with you, he obviously knew you were having issues in your personal life, but he couldn't be bothered anymore; he's tried talking to you about it, but you'd always change the topic.

So you told yourself that it was better if you would be alone for now, this is the tenfold of misery and hurt you've caused everyone around you, especially Donghyuck, your world was falling apart as more and more people left.  You eventually ended things with Mark, and he gave you a simple okay and left.  He didn't seem to notice you anymore, he continued to live his university life unscathed, it was as if you two never spoke in the first place.

He would sometimes smile at you or give you a small nod of his head whenever you saw each other around campus, but that was the most you've gotten from him. You didn't blame him, he didn't have time to waste with people like you. Being alone with your thoughts truly was eating you alive, you were beginning to go insane. Everytime you were about to reach out to anyone, either Jeno, Hendery, or Donghyuck, you'd always stop yourself to remind you that you deserved this.

You deserved to be alone, you cannot be loved. You were a heartless monster just as Donghyuck said and you lived most of your days alone while trying to survive with the little funds your new part time provided. You didn't know how, but you somehow lived as days went by. You watched the leaves and flowers bloom from the branches outside of your dorm till they wilted. It was now winter, and you freely wandered the streets. No other human could be seen outside, everyone was probably spending time with loved ones, since of course it was the holidays.

Days you should be spending with the people you cherish and loved the most, you could see the warm lights from within some of the homes, laughter resonates through the walls, probably the lovers and families enjoying their own company. Playing dumb board games and cuddled up by the fire, watching the grinch movies with eggnog and warm cups of hot choco. You never really understood the joys of the holidays, probably because the only other person you had spent it was with Donghyuck, and there you go thinking of him again.

As if thinking of him in everything you do wasn't enough, he began appearing in your dreams. You didn't know if it was pleasant to revisit old memories or did it hurt to reminisce what was lost between you two. And as much as it hurt you chose to remember him as someone you loved, perhaps not romantically, but he was someone you truly cherished. You thought that he'd comment on how cheesy you've become, so melodramatic that you'd give William Shakespear a run for his money when he's already in his grave.

You bitterly laugh at the thought, the cold makes your throat dry and eyes watery but you look up to the moon while standing next to a lamp post near the frozen river.  You could almost feel his presence, you truly were going insane that you started imagining things he'd say to you at times like this. The snarky comments and cute pet names he'd give you whenever you dragged him along for whatever adventure you had in mind. You remembered how he'd first complain about it to no end, but he always ends up coming with you. He always does, of course, he's Donghyuck, the person who stuck with you through thick and thin; the person you've hurt the most.

You begin humming a small tune, you didn't recognize it at first, but you ended up humming a paramore song. The song you both listened to during class the first day you two met, the same song that you sang here, with tears streaming down you cheeks. You didn't know you were crying until you felt the cold gust of wind brushing against your cheeks, a chill running down your spine as you sniffled.

"I hope you're happy now Hyuck, wherever you are," it felt weird to speak, you couldn't remember the last time you opened your mouth to say anything. it's been months since you've last said a word to anyone, you throat was dry and you could barely recognize your own voice, it was raspier than you last remembered.

"I'm happy enough to know we're looking at the same moon tonight at least." you laughed, your throat hurts like hell, the laugh came as a croak and you tried to gasp in air to try and stop yourself from breaking down.

It felt weird to listen to your own voice, everything felt unreal. These past few months were like a fever dream to you, you even wondered if you were dead and this was some cruel purgatory you served for the shit you pulled back then. You've thought about jumping into the frozen river, maybe the cold would at least wake you up if this was truly some cruel nightmare. If not it could also finally end all the suffering and pain you know you caused yourself, what hurt most was you cannot blame anyone else for what is happening now. You shakily let out a breath, hands gripping the metal railing. You were about to jump over it when the street's fairy lights were suddenly turned on and it reflected off the thin layer of ice of the lake.

You wake up from your daze, what the hell were you thinking? The pretty lights distracted you for a moment, you pace your breathing with the consistent flicker of the warm glow of the tiny lights, trying to calm down.

"And I've always lived like this,

keeping a comfortable distance"

senior year, prom.

You bit your lip while watching the fairy lights flicker, whose idea was it to have tiny light bulbs as decoration for the photo booth, and god you wanted to give them a kiss now. It was such a hazard that you couldn't stop thinking of the endless possible drama it could cause, the prom queen could end up stepping on it and light her dress on fire, that would at least make the night interesting. You blew the tiny patch of fake snow off the table while you grumpily waited for someone, anyone, to step on one of the fairy lights, but you were dragged out of your reverie when you hear Donghyuck's voice behind you.

"Hey ugly,"

"Hey stupid," you replied, eyes shifting away from the photo booth for a second to look at him. He stuck out like a sore thumb, he wasn't wearing a tuxedo like the rest, or even a tie to at least try and be formal. He was sporting his favorite leather jacket with a green untucked button up underneath, he looked underdressed, the only effort he made to his appearance was the way he styled his hair to showcase his forehead.

"That's not a nice way to speak to your boyfriend" Donghyuck faked a gasp, dragging a chair to sit down beside you, you raised an eyebrow at him. The stupid crease on his jacket annoyed you to no end, so you fixed it for him, it was his turn to raise an eyebrow at you.

"Boyfriend? I thought boyfriends put in extra efforts for prom? You know like in the movies, they give the girl a cute corsage and tell them how pretty they look and end up fucking in the bathroom or something?"

"You're beautiful." He says it blatantly, you stop to look him in the eyes, and it seemed genuine. You pursed your lips while trying to hide your smile, boyfriend Donghyuck was different from best friend Donghyuck, he was a lot... sweeter.

"Let's fuck in the bathroom later?" he added, to which you groaned and slapped his thigh. He only laughed at you while gently fitting his hand into yours, gently kissing your knuckles when you swore you were gonna bite his dick someday, just he wait.

Well you'll  give him credit, he at least made an effort to look nice for you. You didn't even bother to blow dry your hair today and you were wearing what you'd usually wear whenever you went out with him, just with a bit more grunge added, like black fishnet stockings. He wasn't complaining at all, he knew that whatever you were wearing tonight would end up ripped anyway, probably somewhere on his bedroom floor. And plus, you two didn't really attend prom, the only reason you bothered to this year was for the battle of the bands.

You were already done with the performance so you were all simply waiting for the announcement of the winner. You knew Jeno was probably out on the dance floor dancing with his date in a proper suit and tie like a gentleman, but you had no idea where Hendery went. One second he said he was going to get you a drink, the next he's disappeared before you into thin air. So you were left with Donghyuck, who was currently playing with your rings. As weird as it felt to have a label between you two, nothing's changed. You thought that you'd feel more awkward towards him, but the only thing that changed was the label, and you were happy in a way.

"Wanna dance?"

You perk up at his question, you finally realize that a slow song was playing. Everyone was paired off in front of you, even some of the teachers were dancing. You almost let out a laugh at the sight of some of couples who were trying their best to keep it in their pants. You thought he was joking until you looked over at him, he was shyly fiddling with his own hands now, not able to look you in the eyes. You would laugh if it weren't for the way he seemed so shy to ask, he looked like he was about to combust.

"I don't dance," you laughed, he looks up at you. You didn't know it was possible but he looked much more embarrassed now, it was cute it in a way.

"Let's get out of here?"

"Now that's more like it" you smirk, taking his hand to lead him outside of the gymnasium and to his car.  He didn't bother to fight it, he just simply let you drag him out to the parking lot.

He opens the car door for you and you played along, deciding to not tease him just this once since, of course, he was already red enough. He turns on the engine and you switch through different channels on the radio, finally settling on one when he pulls out of the driveway.

“And up until now I had sworn to myself that I'm content with loneliness.

Because none of it was ever worth the risk.”

The song on the radio hummed in the background as he drove as carefully as he could, the roads were iced and it wasn't very safe to drive right now. He was about to take the turn to his house but you stop him and told him to bring you to the center of town, he was unsure why the sudden request, but he follows your directions anyway. For the moment, you stared at his face. The way the streetlights lit up his skin, you rarely saw his forehead and it did make him look attractive. Well he was already attractive in the first place but you couldn’t help but observe the way he drummed his fingers against the steering wheel to the song’s beat, it looked instinctive and natural to him.

"So are you finally going to murder me and take my intestines to sell on the black market?" he spoke, and you laughed, throwing your head back; he was finally starting to look handsome to you, and he opens that damned mouth of his.

"Kidneys my darling! Your kidneys will be worth a fortune!" you giggled while leaning over the center console to kiss his cheek, he smiled at the sound of your laughter.

He takes you exactly where you asked him, the center of the town. The exact intersection that’s considered as the heart of your buzzing neighborhood. The exact intersection that usually had so many cars, always the cause of traffic and delay, was now completely empty. All the stores near the intersect were closed, no other person in sight but the stoplights continued to operate. The colors red, yellow, and green appearing in an ordered sequence, proportionally timed. Although there wasn't a single car in sight, Donghyuck stopped when the light turned red.

"What are you waiting for?" you asked in confusion, he shrugs.

"Can you tell me why we're here?"

You didn't bother to speak, you simply got out of the car and stood at the center of the intersection. You opened your arms up to him and he watched you curiously, you let out a boisterous laugh, spinning around your heel. You forgot that the road was slippery so you fell flat on your back, still laughing. Donghyuck runs out of his car to kneel beside you, he had a worried look to him but it immediately faded away when you looked at him with joy in your eyes.

He scoffed, not forgetting to comment on how stupid you looked before offering his hand to help you stand up. You take his hand but instead of sitting up, you pull him towards you and he slips, ending up toppled over you. His breathing was uneven as it brushed cooly against your cheek, you close your eyes at the feeling. He gently kissed your cheek after a minute, finally standing up to brush himself off. You were still lying down on the ground, flailing your arms around to try and form a snow angel.

"Are you dumb? Get up before we get run over" Donghyuck tried to sound angry, but he couldn't stop the lilt in his voice, a tiny chuckles escapes his mouth.

"Shut up already and just lie down! Why do you always ruin the moment?” you whined looking up at him, still spread eagle at the center of the intersect, he raised an eyebrow at you, it was becoming a habit to him.

“Don’t you feel it too? The world’s stopped, they’ve finally shut up! So enjoy it and come lie down with me.”

“And if we get run over?”

“Then so be it” You shrugged, Donghyuck lets out a heavy sigh before taking his seat beside you. He doesn’t lie down, so you sit up to lean against his shoulder.

And the world stops, like what you said. For a moment the only thing you two could hear was the sound of your breathing and the beating of your hearts, he held your hand in his while you both watched the stoplight change colors. It felt like you two were the only people on earth, and it was the best. There was nothing but the moon, your thoughts, the stoplight, and him. And as peaceful as it was you couldn’t stop the thought from spilling from your mouth.

“Someday I’ll burn this town to the ground” you comment, and he snorts.

“Gee, it sure sounds like a solid plan” he says it sarcastically, and you turn to look at him.

“I’m serious! You better not get in my way or anything or else I’ll have to set you on fire” you say it with the most serious tone that he’s taken aback, well that was one weird thought he thought.

His face makes you laugh and he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to laugh with you. He shook his head when he realized you were joking, probably. You felt content and happy that you decided to grant him one wish. He once again has the confused face he had earlier, just when he was finally settled you suddenly move. He tries to stand up to follow you, but you told him that you’ll be back.

He watched you open the driver’s side of the car, he thought you were about to drive away and leave him here but he was abruptly stopped mid-thought when the speakers of the radio of his car boomed throughout the empty streets. His eyes widened, he was worried that it might wake the whole street up. Then he remembered that the residential homes were located near the outskirts of town, so it was unlikely that anyone would hear. Most of this area had shops and stores, so the people are probably back at home, you both aren’t technically disturbing anyone hopefully. He relaxes back into his seat to watch you waltz back towards him.

“So?” you asked, the smile on your face was infectious.

“So?” he mimicked dumbly and you rolled your eyes in annoyance, was he always this dumb?

“May I have this dance?” you groaned, turning red yourself. You blamed it on the cold, but he couldn’t help but laugh at you. At first it sounded like he was mocking you, but when you met his eyes to smack him on the head you were only met with eyes filled with so much endearment and affection that you could only pull back your hand.

He takes your hand to stand up, you complain of course, he was heavy. But he hushed you when he placed his fingers to your chapped lips, he smiled so widely that it looked like it hurt. You pursed your lips, wrapping your arms around his neck and he securely holds your waist. Although the atmosphere was supposed to be romantic, your terrible sense of rhythm in dancing ruined it. You would think that you’d be good at following the rhythm when dancing being a couple of musicians, but you both always missed a beat by a second. And he could only laugh while you cursed, finally remembering why you never danced.

You were muttering something under you breath, but your voice hitched when he brushes his fingers against your hair. He placed a sweet kiss to your temple and you freeze, you felt your heart clench at the action. He begins whispering the lyrics to your ear, you swallow thickly. This was one of the rare times he’d sing to you, you tried to tell him countless times that his voice was beautiful, but he had always denied saying yours was better. But hearing him now, whispering softly against your ear while he nuzzled his nose to your neck affectionately made your heart throb. You take in a deep breath, this feeling in your chest, it was your heart clenching. You didn’t know if he was hurting you but you were so overwhelmed that you suddenly pushed him away.

“Did I do something wrong?” his eyes spoke, trying to reach out to you again but you take another step backward.

“This was a stupid idea” You were shocked to hear your voice crack, Donghyuck frowns at your comment.

“What do you mean?”

“Take me home.... now.”

He tried to take a step towards you but you run back towards his car, closing the door to wait for him. You lower the volume of the radio and try to gather your thoughts, what the fuck was that? You watched him walk back towards the car and swore to yourself, whatever the hell you felt earlier, whatever he did to you, he will never be able to do again. It was too much of a risk, and you swore to yourself to never let yourself be that vulnerable again.

He tries to talk to you on the way home, but your replies were dry. You were busy fiddling with your fingers while looking outside the window. He tried his best to make you tell him what he did wrong but he couldn’t get another word out from you the moment he pulled up in front of your house. You were about to leave but you decided to try and turn things around, you tried to get back to what you two were used to.

You kissed him, hauling yourself over the center console to sit on his lap. He tries to pull away but you continued to kiss, hastily lifting his shirt to try and remove it. In the end he was weak to your touch, he could never deny you of anything. He hoped that you two could talk it out in the morning but you were unavailable the next few weeks after that, busy fooling around with Johnny.

“I've got a tight grip on reality but I can't let go of what's in front of me here.

I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up, leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream”

Present day.

The next day you decided to visit your home town. Although you didn’t have any family left to visit, you had volunteered to play at an orphanage, it was the least you could do for the holidays. If you couldn’t be happy, you could at least make others feel it. Who knew that Jeno’s stupid guitar lessons would end up becoming an asset to you, you could at least spread a little joy to the children who didn’t have parents, you somehow understood how they felt, in a weird way.

It was a joy to finally sing with a purpose again, hearing them laugh and sing along with you made your heart sore. Well at least you didn’t feel as useless after playing with a few of the kids and chatting with the caretakers and other volunteers. It felt freeing, to finally do something right. You fucked up this year for the most of it but you felt a bit less burdened when the children asked you to braid their hair or took your hand to dance with them. After serving your purpose at the orphanage you find yourself at the intersection. You don’t know what you wanted to accomplish, but your feet ended up taking you here.

And as expected it was filled with bustling life, people going in and out of shops to buy late christmas presents, children building snowmen and riding the tiny slopes made by the snow. The traffic as usual was heavy, the cars were honking and the streets were so noisy that no one could bearly hear themselves think. You sat by a bench near the park, the intersect still in your sight. You were eating a bagel mindlessly when a little kid sat beside you, he was eyeing your guitar.

“You play?” the little kid asked and you nodded, giving him a small smile to not scare him away, you probably looked like a walking corpse; you can’t remember the last time you slept properly.

“A little bit, like five songs?” you smiled and he instantly asks you to play, there was this urgency in his voice that you couldn’t help but immediately do what he was asking.

You bite into the bagel while tuning your guitar, thinking of a song to play, well out of the five you knew how to play. You began strumming the guitar to Paramore’s The Only Exception, humming the tune as best as you could with the bagel in your mouth. You end your humming after the first chorus to be met with a grimace, the little kid laughed at you.

“You’re no good”

“Hey!” you take out the bagel from your mouth to yell jokingly at him, he scrunches his nose up when you ruffle his hair and you laugh at his annoyed face, he somehow looked familiar, was he one of the kids from the orphanage? Wait were they even allowed to leave the orphanage?

“So what’s your name?” You ask, putting the guitar back into its case. The voice that meets your ears wasn’t the little boy’s, it was a voice you haven’t heard in a long time, a voice you thought you’d never hear again.

“Dongsuk,”

This has to be a dream, it couldn’t be real. You blink a few times before pinching yourself, you were probably hallucinating. Because there is no way, not a chance the Lee Donghyuck was now standing in front of you. That shit only happens in movies, this can’t be real. But you could only rub your eyes so much, he looked real, like real enough that he was getting closer to you. And he finally speaks, and you finally realize it really is him in the flesh.

“Where have you been?” he speaks, you first thought that he was talking to you but he grabs the little boy’s arm. He glances at you and you try to speak and he simply turns his nose away from you, you feel your world crack in half.

To his defense you were the one who moved dorms, changed your number, and avoided him like a plague. So his reaction was expected, you don’t know why you were so surprised. He was about to walk away when you finally speak, he stops cold in his steps when he hears your voice.

“Donghyuck...” He turns to look at you, and his eyes were still the same. It still had the same hurt and sadness you’d usually see when he looked at you, but he looked much more angrier than you remembered.

“Let’s... talk”

“You are the only exception, oh and I'm on my way to believing.”